#ivypetal story

[residences-of-the-darkforest]

Do You Still Love Us? (short story)

The tunnel entrance was black as a starless night, gaping and lifeless and dreadful, a stark contrast to everything around it–the twittering of birds in the distance, the soft lush grass that flowed softly against the warm breeze, the colourful flowers that sprouted all-year long among the fields.

Tigerdawn couldn’t stop staring at it, imagining how much worse it must be on the other side. The fur lifted along her spine. If she felt this scared just from staring at the entryway, what must it be like where Mouseshell was? How much worse must her little sister’s fear be? Her father’s?

She wished she could have convinced him not to go, but she knew there was no stopping him from making sure that Mouseshell was safe. A large part of her missed him, but there was another part that was glad Mouseshell wouldn’t be alone. With Applesting, they were terrified for his safety and missed him every day, but they knew that he loved them, were able to tell him how much they loved him before he left. But Mouseshell…their last moments together had been so vicious.

So much time had passed since she had died, even longer since Mouseshell. Yet there were times when the pain was as fresh as if it had only happened yesterday. They had discovered a lot of things in their time in the Stars. The fact that cats could still have kits after death in the Dark Forest, that cats in StarClan could send blessings to keep those kits well-protected.

Tigerdawn didn’t know if her sister had had kits. She didn’t even know if she was still…but she sent blessings anyways, just to be safe. Though the family never really talked about it, she was sure that they did the same.

It was okay for cats in StarClan to visit the Dark Forest, now. To have kits of their own, or to just see their lost loved ones…

Tigerdawn lifted a paw, poised to step forward, but she couldn’t move beyond that first motion and remained still, frozen.

“What are you thinking? Get away from there!” 

Tigerdawn whipped her head around to face her other sister, Ivypetal, who was hurrying across the meadow towards her. 

Tigerdawn lowered her paw. “I…I just…”

“You were going to go through!” Ivypetal’s tone was furious, but there was a deep terror that flashed in her eyes. “Why would you want to go in there? In that place?”

Tigerdawn shrank into herself, despite her large size. “I only thought–”

“That you would what? Visit her? Ask her how she is? She tried to kill you! Or have you forgotten that?”

“Well, you killed her!” Tigerdawn snapped, and immediately regretted it. Ivypetal’s expression darkened, and her face contorted in grief for a moment before she forced it away. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“You’re right,” Ivypetal sighed. “I did kill her. To protect you,” she added with a growl. “So maybe you should say ‘thank you’!”

Tigerdawn ducked her head. Her eyes flicked back to the tunnel entrance, lingering. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I just…I thought…I don’t know. I don’t know why I still care so much after it all.”

Ivypetal’s gaze softened. She pushed through the remaining distance between them and pressed herself against Tigerdawn’s chest. “Because she’s our sister, and we loved–love her. Even if…Even if she doesn’t love us back.” She lifted her head and met Tigerdawn’s eyes. “You just…” Her voice quivered. “You just wanted to see if she loves you again. But...Please don't do that again. I don't want to lose my only sister I have left to that awful place."

Tigerdawn gasped, the lump in her throat so strong it nearly suffocated her. She dug her claws into the ground, trying to keep steady as she swayed and tried to breathe. 

Slowly and gently, yet firmly, Ivypetal stirred Tigerdawn away, and they staggered, using each other as support, until the tunnel could no longer be seen and they both collapsed onto the floor, still holding each other close until finally Tigerdawn could breathe again and she blinked a few times, trying to focus. Ivypetal looked to be in just as much distress. But she, too, blinked the tears away and gave her sister a weak smile. Her ears flicked at the sound of a squirrel chittering nearby. “Wanna hunt?” 

Tigerdawn smiled back. “Maybe we could just stay here for a little bit longer.”

Ivypetal pressed her nose against Tigerdawn’s cheek. “Alright.”

It wasn’t long before the soft breeze and even breathing–and previous stress–caused Tigerdawn to doze off. She snored gently, little breaths that stirred that grass against her muzzle. Watching her, Ivypetal couldn’t resist a glance over her shoulder, to where they had come from. To the tunnel she could no longer see, to the place beyond it, where her sister and father were.

Does she still love us? She couldn’t help but wonder.

=====================

--Since it's been a while since I've said it, to be clear a StarClan cat cannot have a kit with another StarClan cat in the Dark Forest, they only can if the other parent is a resident or Dark Kit.

--Ivy didn't mean to kill Mouseshell and still feels bad about it to this day. But it had to be done.

[residences-of-the-darkforest]

WAIT WHAT IF WILDKIT IS A DECENDANT (indirectly, like a great nephew) OF ONE OF HER VICTIMS?

Tigerdawn and Ivypetal would tell tales of how brave and heroic Mouseshell was, because in their minds they owe her for being so bad/neglecting her and this is a way to make up for it.

So Wildkit was used to stories of her, which is why he believed that she could be trusted above everyone else

still stuck on what he did though

[residences-of-the-darkforest]

I want to include Mouseshell’s family more in her story so I’m thinking what if her cousin Doebur joins the Dark Forest so that she can have kits?

She did have a male mate but maybe they had trouble conceiving or didn’t try for a kit before one of them ended up dying. But two StarClan cats can’t have kits even in the Dark Forest and who would be willing to be a donor for two StarClan cats?

Also Tigerdawn (maybe Ivypetal?) would for sure use the opportunity to see Mouseshell

[residences-of-the-darkforest]

What is your favorite thing about Mouseshell?

probably how unapologetically bitchy and evil she can be

I think that most of my characters are either assholes from the get-go or victims of bad circumstances, but Mouseshell was not that.

Yeah, she definitely had issues with her family and Clan that has been affecting her since her birth and no way that wouldn’t be a big factor, but that family also truly loved her, as we saw in her profile. And they tried to make amends for the way they acted when they were younger. It was MOUSESHELL who refused any chance of reconciling. Which, sure, her choice, but she also loves to see the cats that she knows love her in pain.

She had to stop herself from grinning when she overheard her eldest sister beg StarClan not to take her away.

Why? Because she couldn’t focus on the now and the feelings being revealed and confessions made. She could only think about how she felt in the many moons prior, all the moons Ivypetal acted like she didn’t care, all the times Ivypetal treated her like a burden.

She has went through a lot of emotional hurt, which is why that’s the type of pain she likes to inflict the most.

(highlighting that because I realized it while writing and thought oh holy shit)

But then you look at her other sister, Tigerdawn, who actually treated her quite well when they were together. The problem was that Tiger was busy a lot of the time and so they weren’t together a lot of the time. If Tigerdawn wasn’t helping someone with something, she felt like a burden, but Mouseshell didn’t know that and just thought that her sister was avoiding her.

Even when Mouseshell was trying to murder her, Tigerdawn wouldn’t fight back because she didn’t want to hurt her + because she was so baffled it was even happening.

But Mouseshell didn’t care! She spent enough time caring about everyone but herself and it got her nothing but trouble, so fuck it! Even when her sister was desperately trying to get her to stop and clearly didn’t want to fight back, Mouseshell tried to tear and claw at her anyway.

And unlike other characters I have (such as Gorseheart or Jackdawfoot), she will never have a I Realized I Was Bad moment where she regrets her ways and wants to be better. She knew from the start that she was in the wrong, she just stopped caring, and that was so freeing for her that it was almost addictive.

She continues to not care in the Dark Forest, and she will continue to laugh at her family’s suffering, even when they’re elders and telling heroic stories about her to kits (or before when they refused to tell anyone what she did). She thinks it’s hilarious.

(but to be clear, when lots of moons have passed, she probably won’t think about them nearly as much. She’ll be busy with her afterlife and new family. But when she does think of them, she doesn’t feel an ounce of regret)

—-

The only ones in her living family that she doesn’t despise is her father, obviously, and maybe her cousins (possibly aunt too).

She doesn’t hate her mother and uncle, she’s more “I don’t give a shit” about them.

—-

One more thing (I know I’m ranting here but):

she doesn’t justify it either!

There are characters who will try to say “well I was hurt” or “they had it coming”

With Mouseshell, she’s fully aware that the punishments she gave out did NOT meet the crime at all. Murder is too far.

She doesn’t defend herself. She doesn’t regret it either. She knows it’s fucked up, she knows that she’s fucked up, and man does she LOVE being that way (especially after so long of fruitless attempts to be good and perfect).

If someone ever said, “You killed cats for attention? That’s just evil”

she would simply laugh and say “I know, right?”