#tiff's haunted adventure

[papercutsunset]

Sip of Snips 7/16: Purpose

[Nothing But Bones]

[papercutsunset]

(she got arrested for golf cart theft)

Speaking of opening, let’s have a line share session! What is the first line of dialogue from your main character? Share it here!

[blenselche]

Working my way thru a backlog of reqs. TifFinny be upon you.

[ofmdrecaps]

10/02-03/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; David Jenkins; Rhys Darby; Taika Waititi; Samba Schutte; Kristian Nairn; Rachel House; Vico Ortiz; Anapela Polatavaio & David Fane; Lindsey Cantrell; Dominic Burgess; OFMD Rewind/Lube As a Crew; Fan Spotlight: Never Left Podcast; Gay Pirate News Hour; Love Notes;

Hey crew! It's gonna be another day of catching up because wow- lots happened, and lots of life has happened to! Will do my best to get 10/04 up with catch up stuff as well tonight!

== David Jenkins ==

David is promoting Kristian's book! Simone is helping!

Source: David's Instagram

== Rhys Darby ==

Although these are from last year, they were just posted by Gabe Ross, so here they are!

Source: Gabeross42 instagram

More pics to come from the Largo Los Angeles "Rhys Darby Saying Funny Things Society" show that happened on the 10/01! You can actually see some extra stuff from the show on Rhys' Substack!

Source: Largo Los Angelos Instagram

== Taika Waititi ==

Wanna see a video of Taika participating in the Haka World Record? Check it out over on tiktok!

Source: Cristalmkt on Tiktok

Taika posted the new trailer for the latest season of WWDITS!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Taika Waititi (@taikawaititi)

Source: Taika's Instagram

== Kristian Nairn ==

Kristian was out at Forbidden Planet doing signings! Did you get a chance to go?

Source: Kristian Nairn's Instagram

== Samba Schutte ==

Samba is going to be joining the team of Legend of Vox Machina for season 3!

Source: Samba's Instagram Oh and remember Best Life? It won 3 Awards of Merit from the Best Shorts Competition!

Source: Valerie Chaney's Instagram

Heyy! Good news, Advanced Chemistry is coming out on 10/8 on digital!

Source: Samba's Instagram Stories

== Anapela Polataivao & David Fane ==

Anapela's new movie Tina premiered in Hawai'i on 10/03/2024! Lots of pics of the cast at the premier!

Source: Tina The Film Instagram / David Fane's Instagram Stories

== Vico Ortiz ==

Vico participated in the ActNOW's September Scene Study class (Justice for my Sister Fellowship) and helped the next generation of folks learn about "inclusive and trauma informed filmmaking for radical, authentic storytelling"!

Source: Instagram

Vico's voiced a new Audio book thats available now! Jasmine is Haunted is available at your local library and anywhere Audiobooks are sold!

"Jasmine Garza has a problem... and it’s not just the ghost that’s been haunting her for years! 👻 Perfect for any young listener who loves Ghostbusters, this queer, #LatinX paranormal fantasy is a fun and thrilling ghost hunting adventure perfect for spooky season. Available now everywhere #audiobooks are sold and at your local library with @hoopla.digital and @libbyapp! ✨🎧"

Source: Dreamscape Media Instagram

== Dominic Burgess ==

Dominic knows all too well how to get my attention. More Cat content.

Source: Dominic Burgess Twitter

== Rachel House ==

Rachel's film Te Maunga (The Mountain) was awarded the CIFEJ Award at the Schlingel Film Festival! Oh - and Correction, The Mountain movie was available 10/02/24 on digital in AoNZ and AUS. It's not available yet int the US. Sorry about the confusion!

Source: Rachel's Instagram

Another shot of Rachel at Tiff!

Source: birdrunningh2o Instagram

== Lindsey Cantrell ==

Our dear Set Designer Linds Cantrell shared some shots of a bakery in Auckland. Now-- is she clearing out her phone, or is there more to it? You decide :)

Source: Linds Cantrell Instagram

== OFMD Rewind ==

Our friends over at @adoptourcrew and @astroglideofficial kept the OFMD Rewind Watch Party going on the 3rd, and got it trending! Wanna see the tweet thread and have access to twitter? Visit them here! If you don't have access to twitter and want to see it, visit the Renewal Repo!

Source: Adopt Our Crew Twitter

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Never Left Podcast =

Some fun news from the Never Left Podcast team! They interviewed Etana Jacobson & Alec Moore, Director & Writer of Advanced Chemistry! Keep an eye out for it on October 8th!

Source: Never Left Podcast Instagram

= Gay Pirate News Hour =

Another episode of Gay Pirate News Hour is back Oct 5, 2024 1pm Pacific, 4PM Eastern on Youtube! Hosted by Our Flag Means Fanfiction, and joining are @ringasunn and IreneAdler. So excited for the next episode! (One of these days my life will calm down and I might get to join them). Check it out on OFMFF Youtube!

Source: Our Flag Means Fanfiction

== Love Notes ==

Happy Friday Lovelies! I realize this recap is for weds and thursday but I'm gonna roll with it! I hope the rest of the week was kinder to you than the previous parts of the week. Please know we're thinking of you crew, it's okay if you're keeping low on the radar of fandom at the moment. It's also great if you're out honking your nose off! Whatever you're doing is what you need to do, and don't let anyone tell you any different. I know sometimes it seems like things just keep getting worse, lovelies, the world is a chaotic place, and it's okay to sit with your feelings and feel that. Just remember you're loved and it can and will get better one day. There will always be high points and low points in this life, that's just how it goes, but how you cope with those points changes for the better each and every time they pass. Remember you are wonderful, and you are strong, and you're gonna get through whatever you're dealing with, okay? Sending love and hugs, and all the good vibes into your weekend <3

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by bailey ☻ (@anxiety.positive)

Source: Anxiety.Positive Instagram

[sorceresssundries]

Oh, What A Circus!

Pairing: Gale x gn Tav - SFW

Word Count: 900

Summary: The spawn of the God of murder and their Wizard boyfriend have a day out at the circus!

A/N: I've been writing a lot of smut/romance/angst and wanted to try my hand at something a little more light-hearted.

I hope you enjoy it!

“You look ridiculous.” Gale muttered with his arms folded.

Tav stood in front of the unimpressed wizard, towering above him at almost seven feet of rippling muscle, with eyes as red as bloodstone and tattoos that looked like carved, ancient curses. They were a trained, hulking barbarian whose blood-drenched origin had, until recently, been lost to tampered memory. They were the flesh of Bhaal himself, spawn of the God of Murder, flayer of innocents, and inspirer of savagery. Condemned to forever be whipped and tormented by the whispered urges that pulsed through their blood and haunted their dreams.

They glared at Gale from beneath their freshly applied clown face paint and waved their candyfloss at him. 

“You look ridiculous!” Tav snapped back. “We’re at a circus and you look like someone has pissed in your porridge.”

Their tiff was punctuated by squeals and laughter of children, and Karlach, revelling in the nearby circus games. Even Astarion seemed to be enjoying himself, hurling particularly cutting insults at a mime. It was hard to tell whether the mime was exceptionally talented at their craft or if Astarion had actually driven them into a silent breakdown.

Tav turned towards the merchant with whom Gale had been conversing. The small mephit, previously engaged in lighthearted banter, was now cowering in the shadow of the clown-faced elf.

“You buying something?” Tav asked Gale with a mouth full of candyfloss.

“Well!” Gale raised his finger and Tav mentally prepared themselves for an unnecessarily long explanation “This fine fellow here”, he gestured towards the now trembling mephit, “And his delightful wife are exceptionally talented artists and dealers of the finest, bespoke sculptures in all Faerûn! Isn’t that right, my friend?”

“Erm, yes absolutely.” replied the mephit, still not taking their eyes off Tav, “I was just explaining to your….”

“Boyfriend.” cut in Tav.

“Oh…right…” The mephit’s eyes flicked between the two adventurers, as though the pairing of the wizard and the barbarian was completely ridiculous. The tiny mephit looked over to his huge, hulking, earth elemental of a wife in disbelief. “For a reasonable fee, we can provide you with a completely bespoke creation in whomever's likeness you desire!”

“I was thinking…” Said Gale, who thought a bit too much for Tav sometimes, “We have enough coin to make a considered purchase, perhaps it would be a kind gesture to gift a statue to our brave, vampiric friend?” 

Tav glanced over to Astarion who was now in hysterics at the mime having to be comforted by some of the other circus performers.

“Right...”

“He has, after all, been through a tremendous amount of suffering, and throughout his decades of torture and islolation, has forgotten what he looks like.” Gale looked genuinely downcast at the thought of his friend’s ongoing trauma. “How poetic would it be, to gift him with a statue of himself. As pale and marbled as his own alabaster skin - complete with a face he will be able to gaze upon in place of the cruel void of an empty mirror.” 

“Yeah, sure.” Said Tav who had only been half listening. “I love poetry.”

“Excellent!” Gale clapped his hands together, evidently proud of himself for his empathetic use of wisdom “I’ll leave the coin with you, you are after all, a much more skilled negotiator than I!” He raised himself on his tiptoes and quickly pecked a kiss on the tip of Tav’s clown-red nose, before heading in the direction of an unimpressed looking Djinn. 

Tav waited until he was out of earshot before turning back to the merchant. “So, you’ll make me a statue.. Of whatever I want?”

“Of course!”

“Perfect.” Grinned Tav, in what they hoped was a friendly expression. In reality, their stretched, clown-painted smile was more intimidating than if they had offered their most murderous scowl. As such, they unintentionally managed to get a hefty discount and priority delivery as part of the deal. 

Tav handed over the coin, finished their candyfloss, and went over to join in the mime-baiting with Astarion. They were having an excellent day.

“TAV!” Gale’s voice was sharp with anger as it bounced off the walls of their quarters in the Elfsong Tavern.

“Yep!” said Tav, bounding over to where he was standing, where a delivery had just arrived.

“What in the hells is this?” Gale hissed.

“Oh great! It's here! They weren’t kidding when they said it would be quick” Tav’s eyes were wide with artistic appreciation. The statue was beautiful, crafted with such delicate intricacy it looked as though it was draped from silk rather than carved from rock. Tav could hardly believe that something sculpted from the unforgiving, stubborn hardness of marble could appear so soft. Looking at it, glowing in the gentle candlelight, they felt they could finally understand the deep, personal connection and enrichment of artistic skill and mortal interpretation. 

“Why is it of me?!”

“Oh, right.” Tav had forgotten they had completely ignored Gale's original plan. “Erm, I guess there must have been a mix-up” 

“Why is it nude?!!”

Tav grinned at him, delighting in the furious way his brow furrowed and lines of his face deepened. 

“All the most famous statues are, right?” Tav sighed in adoration as they looked back at the statue. “I like it.”

“Is that an accurate representation of the wizard’s penis?” Asked Lae’zel who had quietly appeared between them and made Gale jump. 

“Abso-fucking-lutely” Tav said with a grin, taking in Lae’zel’s impressed expression. “I love the circus.”

[papercutsunset]

“You know, I’ve got a lot to live for. My fascination with your kind isn’t the only thing. And you hate hope, don’t you?” She smiles, feeling that old familiar off-kilter timbre come back to her. “You wouldn’t think it, but there’s a lot I’m looking forward to. I know I’m wracked by guilt all the time, but that doesn’t mean I’m not doing things I believe in. It’s a conspiracy, you know. Hope? It’s a conspiracy. I’ve got strings connecting all the desperate optimism in my head, and half of them are things I want to learn about.”

Don't ask what she's doing in this scene btw. Or how her chest looks.

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[mondoradiowmse]

10/25/23 Mondo Radio Playlist

Here's the playlist for this week's special edition of Mondo Radio, which you can download or stream here. This episode: "Haunted House Boogie" - the 2023 Mondo Radio Halloween Horrorshow! If you dig these spooktacular sounds, don't forget to also follow the show on Facebook and Twitter!

Artist - Song - Album

Larry And The Blue Notes - Night Of The Phantom - Back From The Grave, Vol. 1

Chris Williams & The Monsters - The Monster - Vampires, Cowboys, Spacemen & Spooks: The Very Best Of Joe Meek's Instrumentals

Los Sleepers - Zombie - Más Rock And Roll

The Sonics - The Witch - Introducing The Sonics

Screaming Lord Sutch - I'm In Love With Dracula's Daughter - Forgotten Freak Outs: Lost Halloween Hits (1954-1977)

John Zacherle - Dinner With Drac - Hurry Bury Baby (Single)

The Hollywood Flames - Frankenstein's Den - Monster Rock 'N Roll Show

Los Africanos - Monster Party - Dean Rudland Presents: Let's Boogaloo!, Vol. 6

The Shaggs - It's Halloween - Philosophy Of The World

Lambert, Hendricks & Ross With The Ike Isaacs Trio - Halloween Spooks - High Flying

Jack Rivers - Haunted House Boogie - Haunted House Boogie (Single)

Guy Lombardo And His Royal Canadians - Halloween - Halloween (Single)

Robert Maxwell - Pumpkin Yellow - A Song For All Seasons

Peter Pan Orchestra & Chorus - Casper The Friendly Ghost - An Adventure In Make Believe

Neil Norman & His Cosmic Orchestra - Twilight Zone - Halloween Hits

Christopher Lee - Count Dracula & His Vampire Bride - Voices Of Terror

Russ Huddleston And Robert Smith Jr. - Sacrifice - Manos: The Soundtrack Of Fate

Chinstrap Music - Attack Of The Giant Leeches - Sounds To Come: Music & Sound Design From Science-Fiction & Horror, 1940-1970

The Witchdoctors - Rollin' In Your Grave - Witchdoctors À Go-Go

Bad Brains - Fearless Vampire Killers - Bad Brains

Die Kreuzen - Halloween - Century Days

The Cramps - Goo Goo Muck (Single Mix) - Bad Music For Bad People

Dummy Club - Teenage Corpse (Live) - Lest We Forget: Our Night To Remember

Misfits - Halloween - Legacy Of Brutality

Tense Experts - Cemetery Secrets - Tense Experts

Comateens - The Munsters Theme - Just Can't Get Enough: New Wave Halloween

The Born Losers - Werewolves On Wheels - Halloween Hootenanny

Gene Page - Blacula Strikes! - Blacula (Music From The Original Soundtrack)

Goblin - Zombi - Zombi (Colonna Sonora Originale Del Film)

John Carpenter - Bela Lugosi - Lost Themes II

Moira Scar - De/Monster/A-Tiff - Scarred For Life

Dylan Palme - Intro To Horror - Zombies Ate My Neighbors

Mark Castle - Zombies! - Zombies! (Single)

Ian Brown - Thriller - Thriller (Single)

Ministry - Every Day (Is Halloween) (Original 12" Version) - Black Box - Wax Trax! Records: The First 13 Years

Bauhaus - Bela Lugosi's Dead - Bela Lugosi's Dead (Single)

Siouxsie And The Banshees - Halloween - Juju

David Bowie - Scary Monsters - Vampires Of Human Flesh

Babe Ruth - Jack O'Lantern - Babe Ruth

Skyhooks - Horror Movie - The Skyhooks Tapes

The Specials - Ghost Town - This Are Two Tone

Eddie Golden III - Halloween All The Time - Halloween All The Time

Apache Tomcat - Scariest Monster Competition - Halloweenie EP

Elvira - Outro - Elvira Presents Monster Hits

[tindogpodcast]

TDP 1158: Rani Takes on the World Beyond Bannerman Road from bigfinish worlds of doctorwho review

TDP 1158: Rani Takes on the World Beyond Bannerman Road from bigfinish worlds of doctorwho review

  This title was released in April 2023. It will be exclusively available to buy from the Big Finish website until 30 June 2023, and on general sale after this date.

Life on Bannerman Road was always an adventure for Rani Chandra and her friends. A childhood of mystery and wonder, of meeting aliens, time travellers, lost princes, intergalactic robots and so much more - all alongside Sarah Jane Smith.

Sarah Jane is gone. Childhood ends. Everyone grows up eventually. But the story doesn't stop there. When Rani and Clyde are reunited, adventure finds them once again - ready and waiting to take on the world!

1.1 Here Today by Joseph Lidster Years after her adventures with Sarah Jane Smith and friends, Rani Chandra is a successful journalist - she’s brought down a government, and her podcast is making waves. And she's about to be surprised by a visit from her best friend, Clyde Langer - who has an announcement of his own.

But tonight Clyde isn’t the only visitor to Ealing... In the skies above, a flying saucer approaches - and only one person on Earth can stop it destroying London!

1.2 Destination: Wedding by James Goss Rani and Gita Chandra have been invited to a dream wedding on a luxury island resort. But how did Tiff from school end up marrying a film star? And why has she asked all the worst people from her life alongside the Hollywood A-listers?

While Gita samples the canapés and criticises the flower arrangements, Rani senses something amiss... The perfect wedding comes at a price - but who will be paying?

1.3 The Witching Tree by Lizzie Hopley Chasing a podcast award, encouraged by a secret source, Rani investigates a ‘haunted’ restaurant built around a twisted tree. The owners could be faking the spooky activity, but Rani soon realises the tree is not what it seems.

As a terrifying threat to planet Earth is revealed, Clyde and Phoenix are dragged into the fight. Rani is torn between revealing the truth, or keeping a secret too terrifying to broadcast..

A new Tin Dog Podcast

[felikatze]

somebody tell meeee which of my fics i should fix up and finish i have too many and can't decide. ALL of these are in varying states of "i have like, 3/4 of the draft done" "i have several scenes written out" or "this idea haunts me constantly"

i offer you:

history makes the record stutter (legend of zelda): the trash historian au staring angry teenagers making stupid life choices in the wake of stupid life choices their preincarnations made. vaati and link are forces of mayhem, beedle tries to deal.

coworkers, of sorts (persona 5 x devil survivor 2 crossover): ping sequel staring yamato, hibiki, and al saiduq being general menaces to the phantom thieves. akiren panicking because holy shit government, futaba panicking because holy shit fumi's boss.

why we should leave.pptx (kingdom hearts): AI stands for Adventure Incoming prequel in which data sora and data riku have a shared existential crisis over the course of re:mind

stormy nights to remember (kingdom hearts): several nights in the life of sora's mom himiko, and all the shit the poor woman has to deal with (starring the elaborate family hcs i have come up with for sora)

kill your darlings and skip town (persona 5): post-canon akechi is alive fic, wherein he fakes his death and accepts fate as a department store employee in some hick town until he gets his shit together. akiren meets someone quite familiar when returning home to his hick town after the game's ending.

Four rooms, four guests, a few more deaths (witch's heart): sirius gibson character study. How did he assign those rooms so perfectly anyways? (and were there some times he didn't?)

cyborgs versus superheroes (azure striker gunvolt x my hero academia crossover): izuku finds a cyborg vigilante while cleaning the beach. copen finds out he's been unconcious for 300 years and shenanigans ensue as his brand of justice is unleashed on the world once more (featuring lola becoming a pop idol). mainly self-indulgent nonsense.

insulting foreign ambasadors is always a good idea (kirby): this fic is SO close to being done but i have 0 motivation. anyways, triple deluxe if it was in the kirby anime, starring taranza and dedede as enemies to friends, tiff, tuff and kirby as not that enthusiastic heroes, and sectonia as herself. set in the same verse as keeping enchanted mirrors in your basement is always a good idea. i almost forgot this fic existed again.

one step behind for every step ahead (kingdom hearts): one eye on the future sequel, a future seeing sora, now stuck in the past, tries to figure out how to self his past? future? alternate? self from meeting his doom. there are sacrifices that must be made.

bye bye, phantom thief butterfly (LiEat x miraculous ladybug crossover): LiEat 3's climax, but set in ML's paris instead. Teo gets akumatized, chat noir and ladybug discover that lies are not really an option anymore as mud covers the city. Efi is not a dragon in this au but she tries her best. no i have not watched ml season 3 yet, i probably should.

See you in eight years (1bitHeart): fourteen year old nanashi meets a seven year old misane, is a cryptic bastard for a bit, and leaves. 15 year old misane reflects on a strange encounter she had as a kid, and thinks "goddammit."

anime hair logic (kingdom hearts): riku reflects on his great-uncle, a mysterious family member who managed to leave the islands long before riku even dreamed of it. yes this is a "what-if riku and xehanort are related because they both have white hair" thing

put a face on mercy (LiEat): Teo is a man of many faces, and some faces acrue more hate than others. Letting hatred go undone is a mercy, he thinks. (character study thing on teo's many many disguised and why he switches names every game)

and that is.... all my drafts. that is so many. this post was actually just an excuse to put down how many drafts i actually have.

THAT IS THIRTEEN DRAFTS HOLY SHIT

[papercutsunset]

i forgot that Nothing But Bones has two protagonists with ADHD but only one of them is aware that they have ADHD (and he doesn't explicitly have it until he says so off-handedly months later). and i only remembered because i read, back to back while taking notes for editing, a scene where elton's so bored they want to cry and also they're picking at their desk again and then a scene where tiff realizes she forgot to eat until one in the afternoon and gives herself a haircut to make an EMF reader

[heedingcalls-archive]

Date? (for Tiff from your local Clown)

Who asks for it:

[x] Your muse asks mine

[x] My muse asks yours ( at least– she’d LIKE TO )

Type of date:

[x] Platonic Date

[x] Romantic Date ( well …. romantic for ‘their’ standards? tiff would LIKE it to be. )

[x] First Date

[ ] Double date with: ____ & ____

Location for the date:

[x] Movies  • [ ] Romantic Comedy  • [ ] Adventure Movie  • [ ] Animation (Pixar/Disney)  • [x] Horror ( it’s her FAVORITE !! )  • [ ] Drama  • [ ] Buddy Movie  • [ ] ___ (other options)

[x] Restaurant  • [ ] Expensive/High Class  • [x] Small and familiar  • [ ] Fast Food

[ ] Nature • [ ] Beach • [ ] Park • [ ] Forest     • [ ] …and having a picnic

[ ] Visiting a Museum

[ ] Visiting an amusement park

[x] Visiting a haunted location

[x] Staying at home • [x] Watching movies • [ ] Playing Video Games • [ ] Reading

[ ] ___ (other options)

The date might hopefully end with…

[ ] …holding hands

[x] …a kiss

[x] …in bed

[x] …knowing each other better

[ ] …sleepover between friends

[ ] …a marriage proposal

[ ] ___ (other options)

Should you reblog this?:

[ ] Yes. I want to send you one.

[ ] Yes.

[ ] No.

[x] ONLY IF YOU WANT TO

[novelelitist]

Could I request Hector relationship headcanons with a fem!Master? Sfw and nsfw if that’s okay?

Hector Relationships + NSFW

Background

In the form he is summoned in as a Heroic Spirit, he is already middle-aged. He’s already lived, loved, and lost time and again. 

The man stood on the battlefield for most of his life. He was the strongest hero of Troy and Achilles’s greatest rival during the Trojan War. In some ways he feels responsible for Troy losing the war. Guilt haunts him today.

Don’t let his cheerful demeanor fool you. There’s always something on his mind. His laid-back personality can be misconstrued as irresponsible, but he maintains a sense of obligation that stayed far beyond the grave. 

More than anything else, he’s tired. He’s not down for saving the world, but he’ll follow Master to the ends of the world and that’s enough reason for him to keep fighting.

Relationships

Hector’s care for starts as a grown-up sense of responsibility. He initially views you as a child that needs to be taken care of. It’s not patronizing, but it’s annoying. Through battles and arguments he accepts that he’s not giving you enough credit. You may be younger than him, but you’re preparing to fight all of time and history to restore humanity.  The least he can do is treat you as an adult.

You’ve put faith in his abilities. You’ve given him the chance to grow despite his age. For all they encourage him to do, he is eternally grateful. He’s apologetic regarding his previous behavior and makes amends as you allow him.

He revisits his feelings and determines they’re more than he initially thought. Hector is thrilled to battle with his Master and closest friend. He isn’t used to fighting alongside a partner, but he can’t say he doesn’t love having you with him. It’s a fresh camaraderie. He wants to protect you and cherish you, but he also wants to watch you kick ass.

In his time, marriages were arranged. He’s happy to fall in love naturally and get to know another person beyond the surface. It’s a new adventure, one where he can court you the way he believes you deserve. (He actually believes you deserve more than he can offer, but he tries.)

Enjoys the simple joys of sharing love with another person. Think picnics under the stars, slow-dancing in the kitchen, or drawing a bath for two. He loves having you read to him and take care of him when he’s sick or feeling lazy. 

Since he’s older and also a dead guy he has a lot more experience under his belt. Because of this he isn’t one to argue or cause tiffs. He’d never intentionally upset you or show passive-aggression. Anything that hurts your relationship or makes you uncomfortable isn’t worth it. 

Wants to own a farm or a vineyard in the middle of nowhere with you someday. When you’re on adventures he’ll point out the ruins of castles or the remains of a village and talk about what he thinks it would’ve been like to be there with you. He daydreams about what it’d be like to live out eternity on a quiet plot of land with you and a bunch of animals. 

NSFW

It’s difficult for him to wrap his head around the over-a-millennia age gap in his relationship with his master. You’ll have to be the one to sit him down and start the conversation about sex, because he in no way wants to feel like he’s pressing you into it.

“An old man like me? Of all the heroes in Chaldea you choose a guy with a foot in the grave... You’re right, King Hassan does have a bunch of feet in the grave.”

Not a physically-demanding lover. He could give or take sex, but intimacy is a must. Snuggling, kissing, an touching each other (PG to X it’s all great) are all treasures to him.

Whoever says “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” wasn’t sleeping with a Heroic Spirit. Turns out having an eternity makes a man pretty good between the sheets. If you want to try something new, he’ll try to make it work for both of you. There’s constant communication.

He likes to take his time stripping you from head to toe and planting kisses down your naked body. He’ll lace his fingers with yours while he studies your curves with his lips. The hills and valleys of your form are maps he will never tire of exploring, and he’ll brush his nose along them like the gifts of nature they are. 

There are times when you want to have silly sex full of laughs or share dozens of kisses while cuddling in the nude, and he enjoys those just as much, maybe even more.

Loves going down on you. Holy shit why is your crotch an aphrodisiac? Doesn’t matter how sweaty you are or how long the day was. He enjoys having your mouth on his cock just as much, not that he’s ever going to admit it. Lover’s needs can be met first, then he can worry about himself.

“What do I like? Guess you’ll have to figure it out for yourself... You want to do it all? What classifies as ‘all’? ...Sure thing, sweetheart. Whatever you want.”

Loves making love. He loves you. He treasures you. He will rock his hips into yours and lock his lips on your neck while holding you impossibly close. He’ll set the rhythm and you’ll keep in time, and he’ll whisper the sweetest nothings while demanding you say his name.

Not super kinky, but if you showed him variety he’d get into it and find more things he liked. He starts out with:

Teasing (both ways)

Spanking (both ways)

Needy/desperate (you for him)

Orgasm denial

Sleepy morning sex

Sleepy middle of the night sex

And this list is likely to grow if you take the time to introduce him to new things.

[papercutsunset]

this is a chapter where she cries in a bathtub btw

im so fucking good at this writing shit

[papercutsunset]

And so I shall.

(Nothing But Bones)

Moodboard Madness! Make a moodboard for your wip that is inspired by THE COLOR GREEN.

[papercutsunset]

This is a non-extensive list of music references in chapter titles I've done. I switched my naming style somewhere between TET2B and UW, so here we are now.

[papercutsunset]

OKOKOK. You're going to regret asking, but you're going to get some answers.

riding a bone snake like a mechanical bull:

Tiff briefly went to Canada to fight a necromancer named Boris Covington. He sent her, a local teen, a dog, and a rat to a pocket dimension where he keeps all his extra bones for ease of access. Inside this pocket dimension, there's a pile of bones that was concealing a giant snake (also made of bones) that immediately attacked Tiff and Elton.

From THA, Chapter 22: Just Like Power Rangers:

jarring boris covington's genitalia:

Tiff works for a woman named Dr. Katherine Deseret. This means nothing until you remember that Kit's original field of study (aside from midwifery and then acting as a town doctor in a small mountain town) was kind of Frankensteinian. She caused Tiff to form two habits that are relevant here: creating wet specimen jars (like she did with some alien eggs in March) and collecting the research and journals of people like Dr. Garber, Zacharias Cain, and Boris Covington.

Tiff also has a pet rat who is also an alien (Em, if you're reading this, I'm so sorry. Don't be mad at me for what Cody and I did to him). Kepler has a habit of biting the genitals of wizards in an attempt to protect Tiff from them. For the record, he usually doesn't succeed in biting anything off.

So, he bit Boris Covington's genitals. They came off. Tiff had to cauterize the wound and perform an urostomy in a basement while calling Kit for help. This explains it a little better (THA, Chapter 31: Jarring):

getting married to 1997 tunnel massacre icon caroline bradshaw

In July 1997, a group of teens held a party (classic sex, drugs, and booze outfit) in the tunnels running under Lake Wonder (the town, not the lake). Caroline Bradshaw, AKA Bloodsaw, was not supposed to be there. She crashed the party at her girlfriend's request and was one of the characters who didn't drink a wine cooler. (I'm pretty sure she didn't drink anything, even though her plan involved that and violence.) The night quickly turned sour when people started massacring each other, including a local celebrity/katana guy called The Mermaid, who went to kill baseball player Harrison Bergeron. Bloodsaw intervened and lost her life in that particular incident (which is silly, considering that Harrison also died. I think it was a drug overdose. I really can't remember.) The only survivor was a teenage girl named Laura Mandarin (who was Bloodsaw's girlfriend, secretly).

In the months following this, Caroline Bradshaw took the blame post-mortem for what happened (since it was already easy to pin blame on her, given her various acts of homosexual violence).

Flash forward to May 2023. An angel named Almiel resurrects Bloodsaw, gets her a job working at her brother-in-law's bookstore, and tells her to just kind of hang tight. Bloodsaw being Bloodsaw, they absolutely hate this, they hate their new coworker, and they spend two weeks letting resentment build before they steal a computer, steal a car, and try driving to Wyoming to find Laura.

I swear to God that all of that's relevant-- because, unfortunately, Bloodsaw stole Tiff's computer, so she stowed away in the stolen car. That means she was there when the car broke down in Goldmire, Utah, and she's the one who dragged Bloodsaw to a carnival in the first place. It was, of course, full of killer clowns. The only way to infiltrate their cult was to declare their devotion to the cult and to participate in a marriage ceremony (because Tiff panicked again).

And, of course:

They keep forgetting to get divorced. I'm pretty sure the current state of things would be that they started the paperwork and then forgot to finish it.

pretending to be engaged to a christian guy version of your co-worker's girlfriend

In addition to working at the Book Nook, Tiff also has an internship at the morgue. (It's an internship at this point, since this is Beach Day and thus December 2022.) While the pathologist there is the aforementioned Dr. Deseret, there's an autopsy technician working there named Kay Clark, who is dating a mechanic named Mikey Sullivan. They're very sweet together, especially considering they only really met because Mikey killed someone, and Kay ran away because she didn't want to eat the body.

Tiff was fishing with her grandfather, who noticed that she was wearing a ring on her left hand (nevermind that it was white and on her middle finger) and assumed she was engaged, so Tiff panicked and ran with the lie. (She keeps doing this.)

From Beach Day, Chapter 22: Tiff Gets Engaged:

getting into a sword fight with your grandpa (who has a gun)

Zacharias Cain is not a great man, so when Tiff found out something he did back in the 1970s that flies in the face of pretty much any moral code aside from his, the only way to put a stop to any of it was to fight him about it. He had a gun; she had a sword that wasn't even hers. (I would put in a little excerpt, but this fight takes chapters and really only ends when she smacks him with a Baby Jesus outside his house.)

taking boris covington for a little drive after he killed somebody

So, after the urostomy, Tiff and Elton went back to the hotel she was staying at because she was bleeding out. While it wasn't going to kill her, it was very messy and not great for her very human body. While they were there and chatting with an elf and his author husband about a book of spells and a ritual they could conduct to heal her (since her bag got sent to the Bone Zone and she couldn't heal herself), Boris Covington apparently freed himself and made his way to the hotel where he killed the night clerk, attacked Elton, and announced that he was going to kill everyone in the room.

This, of course, means that Tiff threw a jar of formaldehyde at him, chased him down the stairs, hit him with a vase, and put him in her car. (This isn't even her car. She usually drives a motorcycle.)

THA Chapter 34: Tiff Kidnaps A Man (For Real This Time):

trying to bite boris's nose off and missing so badly

So, while she was driving, her heart stopped beating. This kind of resulted in her, you know, dying. Since the universe is keeping her alive (that asshole), she was just kind of... still around, albeit largely emotionless, and therefore remorseless. Since she tends to operate largely on wonder and remorse, this isn't great for her sense of morality, so she immediately tried to bite Boris's nose off when she heard he was going to die.

These are all, obviously, things I wouldn't do. I'm so marriageless, I wouldn't bite someone's nose off, I don't care for horses or mechanical bulls, and neither of my remaining grandfathers would ever try to fight me with a gun at an abandoned chapel in the woods. (Perks of having a JW grandpa, I guess. He's not going to fight me at a damn Kingdom Hall.)

There's a lot more that she's done (mostly murders), but these are just kind of funny to me.

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