#thus why im agender

[orcelito]

Never played a Fate game or watched any of the animes really. But I started playing Fate/Samurai Remnant bc I wanted to play a hack n slash kinda game & it got generally good reviews (unlike ffxvi, the other game I was looking at for this wish of mine, which ppl continuously said was pretty but kinda shallow writing-wise)

I've been enjoying it. I've already learned some things about 1600s Japan. It's pretty neat!

[atiianeishaunted]

some canon stfuf about the sonder cast bwaa :33 you can have ur own hcs btw id love to see them <3 but!! yeah,, i feel liek infodumping a teensy bit hrgfrhfh mainly cuz im not in an art mood 2day sigh doesnt include everyone bc this is only stuff i can think of off the top of my head atm but :3

lance: canonically bisexual, might be a trans man (havent decided? its honestly up 2 the audience, could go either way), was a huge moviestarplanet player when he was a kid, would probably play dress to impress methinks, for the LONGEST time was convinced something was going on between allura and keith and was insanely jealous and bitter, has the worst gaydar ever TRUST, figured out he was bisexual while playing msp but it only got worse when he met keith and hes really pissed about it

keith: gay as hell but hasnt exactly processed or accepted it (just knows hes scared of women) (for many reasons), transgender (will respond to anything besides feminine pronouns n such), most likely did his own piercings dont ask how or why, allura is the only woman thus far hes comfortable with because she reminds him of a certain someone, allura and him r huge gossips, jack of all trades but really does not know what hes good at like he doesnt know a thing about himself (one time lance challenged him to try out his sniper bc they got into an argument and keith was surprisingly good at it, he was evidently more confused than lance somehow?) (think that one family guy audio where s liek "how r u doing that" "i dunno ;;; O_O"), if you ask him ANYTHING about himself he will most likely just say "yeah i dont rememebr" or "I dont know", often talks very old school and "retro" (in lance's words), surprisingly a decent cook/baker, not as good as hunk of course but can keep up, despite this it was revealed in a conversation with hunk that keith was eating glass among other inedible things while going crazy in the desert (his feral era <3), can diy explosives among other things and no one acknowledges it because it scares them, this boy is very autistic, audhd in fact, im right and you all know it allura: lesbian but doesnt realize it just yet, would probably love the idea of neo/xenopronouns she'd find them whimsical, surprisingly prefers moths over butterflies (mainly after a talk she and keith had one night), huge gossip and loves romance but not in a "i need to date a man" way but "i want to play cupid" (think mabel from gravity falls) (she did have a phase of being boy crazy but that quickly went away when she was brought out of stasis), she loves dressing up but mainly dresses down and more casually because she doesnt go out as much thanks to altea going kaput and all that, she adores gardening and likes to make dyes and such from her flowers, huge diy queen (TRUSTT) she can sew and all that, probably real crafty, keith and allura are close friends and both extremely out of touch with normal human people, she frequently asks him for advice due to their closeness and they just make eachother worse /aff, unironically used wicked in a sentence and was very proud of it (lance almost threw keith out of an airlock for this one), not the best cook but tries her best and is fairly confident with her skills (vicecore if you play alchemy stars) (keith almost banned her from the kitchen) (they agreed on supervised kitchen hours)

pidge: aroace and agender, literally a chronically online cosplayer tech nerd, probably has been cancelled multiple times to the point where matthew had to take every piece of tech they had in the house, has doxxed people before, obsessed with vocaloid and anime, wants to get piercings really bad but their parents wont let them, uses any pronouns and if you ask for their gender they will change their answer everytime or answer with something silly like "the void", their favorite person is Hunk but beyond that prefers robots and tech as their companions, keith is their favorite victim of pranks (save him), the only one who isnt scared of keith even a little bit, evil scientist coded, too smart for their own good, not very socially smart and misses social cues but doesnt really care, very picky about the food they consume, iconic 13-14 year old who is a bit too excited at the prospect of having an excuse to build weapons

[ribboncare]

i do not care for nurse doom

to start this blog off right, im going to immediately launch into my many issues with doom and how he is both delivered and perceived

with that said, here are my main and most thought on qualms

doom being paired with patients

whilst i believe pairing any patient with a staff member is creepy and gross, doom in particular is not only shipped with a plethora of them, but also finds his way into the main polyamorous quadruplet that makes up cometcare. this is troublesome for many, many reasons, but the main one that always springs to mind is this: the egregious power imbalance

think about it. would you really go out with your medical nurse? wouldnt that be odd? not to mention doom has hurt and tortured several of the patients he is currently in a relationship with in cometcare. i dont know about anyone else, but it would personally make me extremely uncomfortable to have anyone insinuate me and a person who abused me would make a great couple

dooms gender being changed for the express purpose of shipping

doom used to be a cis man. while there is nothing wrong with him being changed to agender, kc has gone on record saying that it was specifically so his gender could be compatible with caroline being a lesbian

from a perspective of "these are just kc's ocs!", this is ultimately something to shrug and maybe make a face over. however, from the perspective of sparklecare as a piece of media (which is very much is, regardless of what kc thinks) and as a story, it is upsetting. why make a man agender just to ship with a lesbian? a lesbian that he has hurt repeatedly, no less? its not a very fun situation

dooms extremely sudden character "development"

i say "development" in quotations because truly, there was none. one day kc decided squeak liked doom, and thus his deterioration began. squeak started drawing him much more friendly looking and decided that any of the things he had done in the past volumes (such as being toxicly masculine and (even unwillingly) misogynistic towards uni when taking away beary) suddenly didnt happen. doom is forced to do things like this yes, but he had no reason to act maliciously as he does in many of these situations before the sudden change. now he has been sanded down to his barest bones, leaving a sad and pathetic little guy who you Have to feel sorry for :( he has no say in the matter of what he does :( he would never hurt a fly :( yes he tortures people for a living BUT DONT LOOK AT THAT! look at how sad and lonely he is!! :(!!!

overall, i would not say doom is my favorite character. in fact, because of these issues, hes probably one of my least favorite ones. its extremely frustrating seeing kc course correct so hard to make characters squeak likes into "good guys" that they lose all sense of themselves along the way. if you ask me, doom should have stayed morally ambiguous. it is not only much more interesting, it is actually true to what his original role as a character was. i do unfortunately believe that because of cometcares existence, this role is forever lost and will never be found again, which is a shame

doom had the chance to be such a captivating and compelling character, but will forever be stifled for the sake of shipping and making sure any character kc likes is unmistakably "redeemable", no matter what the cost

[stag-bi]

ASD spaces should talk more abt how autism affects gender presentation. its kinda wild to be branded gender conforming OR non-conforming based on how you wear your clothes/hair/etc and which colors you prefer, when youre simply choosing them out of sensory reasons

im deemed gender non-conforming bc i strongly prefer men’s clothing, which is bc its thicker, better quality, less flimsy and easy to break (i have awful motor skills so i tend to accidentally rip fabric), less tight, less complicated and more utilitarian. it has nothing to do with gender. im not ”male-leaning” bc i prefer men’s clothing. the fact that im deemed GNC in the context of my society is a neutral descriptor, like being called brunette due to having brown hair.

i also LOVE the color pink. generally, looking at a nice color makes my brain go wheee. a nice shade of pink makes it go WHEEEEEE. and the fact that a bit of pigment affects my gender presentation is absolutely bizarre. and if i have long hair bc combing my fingers through it feels good, why is that a reflection of my ”inner gender identity”? if i wear a dress bc its convenient and comfortable, why is that an act of conformity to my assigned sex?

on the flip side, its also funny that identifying as genderless (agender) due to my lack of understanding for this particular social norm means that im in the trans camp. which, in terms of gender avoidance, is like backing up from the Gender-Essentialism Pit until i fall into the Gender Revolutionary Ravine. its a much more preferable place to be, but its still weird for the non-existence of something to be seen as intentional contrast to the existence of something, thus reflecting it rather than rejecting it

navigating gender as an autistic person is just. incredibly confusing sometimes

[tartbedo]

i know theres a lot of different space related xenos that would probably fit me. ive always felt rlly connected to space and the main metphor i use to describe my gender (agender man) is space based. idk is there just like spacegender ? cuz thatd be me lol

if i was was a little bit earlier to finding xenogenders i wouldve had a whole collection of them i think

[autisticzukka]

What is your worst headcanon? I just... I needed to ask someone this question because reasons.

uhhh lemme see, im not sure WHICH type of worst you’re looking for so i’ll just throw a few ones out there, based on like. idk general feeling theyre divisive, heartbreaking, or absurd. absurd first:

+ AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER IS A HORSE GIRL SHOW. Katara is the horse girl. Aang is her horse. They have a sacred horsegirl and horse bond, where Katara can calm him down from his whinnying frenzies (aka Avatar State). Sokka is the mom who just isn’t convinced that this horse could save the farm. Ozai’s the evil rancher cheating at horse sports, or whatever. Zuko’s his son, who’s on the wrong path, but learns to love horses. Aang’s true character arc... learning to horse girl HIMSELF. Azula in spats. Are you convinced yet?!

ANGSTY

+ Azulon told Ozai to kill Azula, because she was clearly his favorite, and spent a lot of time with him. Azula overheard this, and thinking that her mother would do anything to protect Zuko but not her, immediately went to loudly bully her brother until her mom showed up. Then she let her mom drag the lie about it being Zuko out of her. Her mom called her a monster in that conversation, for being so gleeful over her brother’s death. And then, of course, she never got time to soften it. Azula does genuinely believe that Ursa died, because Ozai told her that he’d killed her. You can turn up the angst level on that however you want, but it cemented Azula’s trust no one, control everyone, be invaluable to Ozai method of coping.

+ Azulon was abusive, and his wife was passive about it at BEST. Ozai was the scapegoat of that family, with Iroh as the golden child. Rather than attempting to break the cycle, he repeated it, this time with himself at the head. This is part of why Iroh never fully understands Zuko and is able to help him break Ozai’s hold on him entirely: he has no frame of reference for being the scapegoat, or how it warps your sense of responsibility. He assumes Zuko knows he didn’t deserve what happened. He’s super wrong about that.

+ look i literally hate Pakku so fucking much. and now i’ve got 5000 headcanons around Kanna, and Kanna/Hama, and Yugoda/Kanna’s older sister (Kya), and Kanna actually loving Pakku at one point, and him being Katara & Sokka’s biological grandfather, and there’s a fic in the works about it. it’s a rewrite of The Waterbending Master. this isn’t even a bad headcanon, i’ve just dumped so much work into it that it’s. what i consider the canon background. thus: headcanon. Pakku and Kanna were in love, and she’d just found out she was pregnant, and then the fucker goes behind her back and arranges an engagement with her parents. When she’d told him she didn’t want to marry, that she loved and trusted him and would happily live with him, but her independence was important to her. Kya and her never got along really, but Kya helped her leave, and Kanna names her baby after her.

PROBABLY DIVISIVE IN SOME CIRCLES BUT EVERYONES BEEN SUPER AWESOME ABOUT IT ACTUALLY

+ i like agender Zuko, who has a semi-complicated relationship with some presentation aspects. if you’ve read my fic you’ve probably noticed things like him calling himself mommy in kidfic, or Hekka (in Dragonpyre) calling him princess. mostly i think that Zuko approaches gender as a social role, and that performing it in some functions is...not what he wants to do. Like, being a father? After his experience with fathers? He’d rather emulate his mother, thank you. this def wraps into my personal experience with being neurodivergent and nonbinary, so i’m glad it’s struck the same chord with so many ppl. <3 

+ sokka’s got ADHD. 

+ Azula is ALSO autistic. 

[glowstickk]

i wish to know... about your zimverse ocs... they seem pretty neat...

anon u GOT IT i’ve been wanting to talk abt the gang for so long!!!!! when i saw this ask i lost my marbles!!! knowin that someone is actually interested in these guys makes me so happy!!! so!! here they are!!!  also!! apologies that it took me so long to actually answer, i wanted to be able to say all of the lore for lizzie (who hadn’t had her chara arc in rp at the time) and by the time i got her arc done i ran flat outta spoons nbfkgb,, but i got my spoons back and whipped up a few lil pictures to go with this so hopefully that makes up for it!!! oki here we go!! under a cut because talking about five separate charas is gonna get long ndfjkv

ZAPPELINE VOLTAIRE

she/he/they | genderfluid | somewhere between 25-37 y/o zap is basically my main character! she used to be a scientist who worked on interdimensional research, more specifically what the theoretical effects of interdimensional travel/portals would be on the human body and the safety of all of that. at one point the lab she worked at lost funding, but she decided to fuck around there before it got demolished because why not! she did a few experiments on herself, including changing her natural hair color and making it so that she could see an extra color. the latter of which did not work out entirely as planned, because the rods in her eyes didn’t grow in quite right. so! now she has red-green colorblindness in her right eye, and something similar to tritanomaly in her left, which is why she wears those funky glasses!

gonna be honest, i’m still working on a way to properly explain the next bit without it getting super boring or incomprehensible, but tdlr the new colors corresponds to a wavelengths that interdimensional rifts emit, so now she can see interdimensional rifts! she noodles out a way to build an interdimensional portal using some leftover notes from one of her co-workers, and jumps through! she ended up getting too excited about the portal and forgets to make sure it’s stable, and it ends up collapsing the second she gets through. so now she’s stuck in the multiverse! fun! after a bit of dimension-hopping, mad science, and the entire plot of polychrome (a game concept im workin on!!), she lands herself in zimcon!

SPARKPLUG VOLTAIRE

he/they | nonbinary | 5 y/o

sparkplug was originally built by zap to be her impulse control! this did not work! for context, zap used to be a really shitty supervillain before zimcon, so i kinda made sparkplug to be her sidekick/henchman? but in the way that’s like, supervillain is really nice and respectful to their “underlings” and basically treats them as equals and as friends, because i love that trope so fucking much. the original joke was “haha the supervillain has pack-bonded with the box!” but then the box turned into a kid and well! here we are. eventually after just. existing for a while they developed their own personality, and pretty much just became a regular kid! they arrived at zimcon as a box, but later on they end up asking zap for an astroboy-style body! as of writing this they haven’t gotten it yet, but that’s just because the rp’s kinda on pause right now. i do wanna say tho i have a special lil bit of art for it ready that hopefully yall will enjoy!!

ELIZABETH VOLTAIRE

she/her | cis (ew) | 4 years younger than zap

god just. i hate elizabeth! i really do. she’s another version of zap who is basically just an evil boomer who can’t even be fun or dramatic about it. in polychrome, she takes over as the big bad of the game. i feel like she works a lot better in polychrome just because that’s what she was made for, tbh. she and zap used to work together at one point, but due to a lot of arguing, many disagreements and some other Events(tm), started hating each other. she’s literally no fun at all and i can’t really expand upon her all that much without going into spoilers territory so that’s about it for her.

LIZZIE VOLTAIRE

she/they | trans gal | 745-748 y/o

lizzie is a ghost! she’s an alternate version of zap that died before she could ever leave her home dimension. after she died, she was quite literally chained to her death spot for over 700 years. when she died though, she was given a contract that said she could be freed if she got someone to sign it, the person signing it would be able to have her do whatever they want, but once she finished the task she could be free. if the person signing felt that she wasn’t doing a good enough job, they could rip up the contract and she’d be sent back to her death spot. it sounds bad, but it was all she had so she tried her best to get someone to sign! unfortunately though, in the few months where there were still people around, she hadn’t been able to figure out how to get herself to be visible again. just before she figured that out, the world underwent some kind of apocalypse, and all the people were wiped out. so she had no choice but to just kinda sit there and vibe for 700 years.

that is until elizabeth came along! liz signs her contract, and lizzie starts working as a henchman for her. the elizabeth arc happens (which is basically elizabeth helps lizzie possess zap and tells her to erase the con members’ memories, she does this, people are pissed, lizzie gets knocked out of zap’s body, zap dies, comes back, and beats the shit out of elizabeth and later sacrifices her to a crab) and liz decides to send her back for not doing a good enough job. so she goes back to her death spot, and after a night’s stay makes a deal with an eldritch blonde twink to gain her freedom.

REGINALD SPECTER

he/him | agender | a few thousand years probably (boomer)

bastard!! bastard man!! reggie is the one responsible for lizzie’s (and a few other peoples’) death(s). he has a job in the underworld which is basically just “take care of this huge monster that eats parts of people’s identity.” he found that feeding it souls worked best, so instead of finding lost souls he just decided it’d be easier to get some new ones. in order to kill people without getting caught, he disguises all his murders as accidents. lizzie’s happened to be a falling stage light that hit her on the head real hard. it’s not a cool or fun death and it makes her real mad ndjvkdf

lizzie was left there for so long because reggie pretty much just forgot about her. he left her the contract to give her some form of hope, which would keep her from fading away completely, but she was chained there so he could come back when he remembered. when liz signed her contract he got some sort of notice about it, and decided to come back to lizzie later for some shits and giggles. when they met up, he told her if she could find a soul to trade he’d give her her freedom. she accepts, and picks zap to trade, hoping that getting rid of her would help her earn liz’s approval (it didn’t). zap gets sent to this weird hell maze, and when a few others get in the way they get sent there too. lizzie eventually gets talked down from sending more and more people to the hell maze, and she lets them out. she’s tired of hurting people, and wants to give helping others a try! at the moment, reggie isn’t aware that lizzie let them out of the maze (and thus, isn’t gonna give him a soul to trade). if he finds out it’ll be bad, but for now she’s just vibing and trying her best to be nice!

reggie’s very much inspired by hate and dial from tpoh, and a lot of lizzie’s story is inspired by my personal theories on blondie/rgb’s death!! its basically “how many tpoh references can i cram into this: the arc.” it’s unbelievable the amount of shit i was allowed to get away with with nobody calling me out nfjdkvsf

aaaand that’s kinda it!!! i tried my best to make this short and readable, i wrote up something else earlier that was a LOT longer and im much more happy with this version. and if something i said doesn’t make sense or anyone wants to ask anything about these guys or polychrome id be more than happy to answer!!!! thank you so much for reading!!!! <3!!

[zeldary]

AHHI JUST SAW UR FE TRANS HCS POST.... U saif some have hints could u tell me the hints(sorry im really intrigued!! I'm trans too so)

Ahhh thanks for the ask dear!

I’ll try to list some of the reasons, though keep in mind some are pure headcanon! Some include spoilers so I’ll go game-by-game, from oldest-to-newest

Fire emblem Gaiden/ Fire emblem echoes: Shadows of Valentia 

Saber - Agender: As my friend put it best: Saber lost his gender on a mission and never cared to go look for it. I just think he’s agender, all jokes aside, no much reasoning here!

Sonya - Trans lady: Sonya reveals that her two sisters were turned witches while she was sent away, as a kid. I like to think it’s because her father didn’t know at the time she was a girl. She’s also got great style and she’s a queen, and all trans women are queens, baby.

Genny - Trans non-binary girl: I like to see Genny as enby simply cuz non-binary people aren’t all androgynous. She’s also a super cute character and I love to think about Sonya and her bonding over being transfemmes because their friendships is super cute!

Celica - trans lady: Not in the original post but I’m adding it out of spite; Celica is trans and a wonderful character :)

Fire emblem Path of Radiance / Radiant dawn

Ike - Gay: i know you were referring to trans characters, but since he was included in the post, I decided to include him too. Basically; shows 0 interest in women, only has a platonic relationship with Elincia(?green haired lady), and that shopkeeper whos horny for him doesn’t interest him at all. However, he has two possible “bro” endings, where he elopes with a dude, with Ranulf and Soren! (Some might think it’s a reach, no way there could be a gay character, but keep in mind Jenny, in those games, is canonically a lesbian!)

Soren - Trans man: I just want to preface this by saying that when I discovered those games I was just learning about LGBTQIA+ issues, and some of my reasoning might not be that good, but here goes: the first playthrough I watched, Soren was constantly mistaken for a girl by the guy playing the game. He’s also (spoiler alert!) half beorc, half laguz, and i felt his treatment of society could be very relatable for trans people. There is also the fact that Ike has a great great great grandchild in Awakening, whom I think is also Soren’s (I like to think their paired ending is canonical), so Ike is still gay, he was just able to have a kid biologically with Soren :)

Fire emblem Fates

Forrest - Non-binary: I feel this is a touchy one: on one hand, people tend to see this character as just a gender-non-conforming boy, and I think a lot of people like him as is, and some might feel represented. On the other, Ive seen some NB people say his presentation and character reminds them of themselves. I also feel his struggle with his father is something a lot of us can relate to. As a non-binary person, while I respect any headcanon for him, I tend to fall for the latter. Also I’m starving for rep lol.

Fire emblem three houses

Byleth - Non-binary: Because I said so. (Nah just kidding the real reason is; everyone uses “they/them” for them anyway and I’m non-binary and playing them and they’re MY avatar. Ergo: they enby :3)

Leonie - Trans woman: When it comes to leonie, I just feel she’s trans, due to constantly having to remind people that she /is/ a girl. That’s a sentiment a lot of trans people share: just having people like “but... you don’t look like one lawl”. I also love the idea of trans girl leonie still being a bit of a tomboy, GNC trans people for the win lol (I also like to think her post timeskip design being pretty different is after 5 years of magic HRT lol)

Yuri - Non-binary: So basically i got super excited seeing the trailers seeing an androgynous character, thinking “THIS IS IT!! FINALLY!! NB REP!!!” But nah. Again you could make the same case as Forrest but I was just so excited,only to be so disappointed, I stick to my guns on that one, as I’m very petty. Yuri also got great style and not to brag but I feel we Enbies do have great style.

Bernadetta - Non-binary: I saw a shitty meme using her once to mock non-binary people, so I decided to have her be enby. Also I related hard to that character.

Dorothea - trans lady: Same as Sonya tbh: she’s majestic. But also: I find it interesting that (slight spoiler ahead) she was thrown in the streets as a child. I know it’s gross, /but/ I think it’s brought up in the game that sometime,s daughters were given away for money: my question is; why not give Dorothea away? Ferdinand’s support shows she was already beautiful when she was young. My answer: her father didn’t know she was a daughter. It also explain why, years later, he did not recognize her.

Manuela - Trans lady: My headcanon for Manuela is kind of an extension of Dorothea’s. I /Love/ the Idea of Manuella being Dorothea’s trans Icon, someone to admire both for her talent and for what she might have gone through. I also love the idea of Manuela seeing a /lot/ of herself in Dorothea, and thus making her her protégée at the opera. Just trans ladies helping each other Bruh.

Dimitri - Trans man: buckle up I kept one of the best for last. (Spoilers ahead!) First of all, his support with Catherine reveals he was very “feminine” as a kid, so much so that Catherine thought he was a girl. Fast forward, as a teen he’s very nice, a trait commonly shared by trans men. What makes me believe he’s trans most is the fact that as an adult, he does not have a beard. This might seem minor, but knowing his father had a lovely one, I find if weird that he does not, especially since we can assume he wouldn’t shave it since he looks...like... /that/, post-timeskip. I think he just has difficulty growing one, Dimitri is trans, change my mind.

So yeah my proof is circumstantial hope u still like it lol, thanks again for the ask anon!

[ayy-spec]

Anything to Add?

The final question in this survey was a write-in section for people to leave any additional comments. 113 people responded.

Important/Particularly Interesting Comments

• I hope this goes well for you because you seem nice and if you have any advice for new to the community 15 year olds like me, don't be afraid to share because I'm trying to embrace my sexuality as much as possible but it can be hard when I don't know where to go or turn to to find what I'm supposed to do and where to ask questions and just fully embrass this part of me and it can be hard when I don't even know many if any aspecs so representation is great and it is helpful to hear your experiences and how you handle certain parts, so just keep doing what your doing because it is making a difference [note: 🥺🥺😭]

• i often consider myself more as just aroace rather than aro and ace seperately so i prefer seeing the blue and orange aroace flag over the individual aro and ace flags

• I don't really shorten my identity often with aroace, only when im feeling very romance repulsed and its been a while since I felt romantic attraction. I am a pan-demiromantic asexual. My pan label makes me feel more connected to the lgbt+ community bc it feels like my nonbinary and intersex status doesn't count either. I know I belong in the queer community, but the lgbt+ community is so sexual orientation focused.

• Thank you for having a wide variety of labels to choose from in the options!! I don't see the term aegoromantic very often on things, it feels nice to be known I guess haha

• Thank you for this, i recently started thinking about being in arospec and it was so relieving, all this time i thought something was wrong or maybe i was broken. I'm still trying to learn more about it, and I'm grateful for people willing to teach and help

• didn't realize I hadn't experienced sexual attraction until I finally did and was like "OH, no wonder all my other relationships felt like I was playing pretend"

• I dont often tell people I'm gray aroace. Not because of shame or it not being "as important" (I'm a gay trans dude) but I think because I just feel its a very intimate part of myself, as well as my romanticism and sexuality (in terms of like asexuality) feeling as though it doesn't always need a label. I'm fine just being myself most of the time, a lot of labels can be tricky for myself I think. I'm happy the label exists nonetheless though because Its nice to know I'm not the only one who feels like this.

• I'm queer! But if I'm getting down to the bones of it, I'm pan/ace. Still relearning how to be proud of that, after The Grand Clusterfuck years back.

• even though I would be considered to have an alloromantic orientation, alloace isn't really a term I feel any strong connection or attachment to

• i'd like to add that i do consider myself alloaro and use that label openly but i'd also not consider myself 100% allosexual. i'm questioning my sexuality but even if i do end up feeling more solidly ace-spec i'd still use the alloaro label

• Idk who else does this or if this is interesting enough to write down, but I thought I would! I use Aroace as a label. Other, smaller labels inside that would probably fit me better! Aroace feels too big, like it doesn't *really* define exactly who I am. But at the same time, I prefer using it because more people know what Aroace means (at least compared to myrromantic and myrsexual). I use Aroace so the public can define me. I don't typically use it around my close friends 'cause they already know my idiosyncrasies and where I really am. They already made their own definitions for me, so I don't have to make one for them!

• I'm still figuring myself out, so I leave myself at the blanket terms and hopefully everything'll work out in the end

The rest of the responses are below:

Comments Alerting Me About Typos (that I was then able to resolve)

• There's a typo in your "sexual orientation labels" question, because you have Aroflux listed and not Aceflux, but I didn't want to confuse things so I put Aceflux (which I do use) under Other. I also am polysexual (I flux between polysexual and asexual but I am always aegosexual) but didn't know if I should but it under Other anywhere since it's not an acespec label. I consider my polysexuality tied to me being aego/aceflux though, which is why I mention it here.

• the sexual orientations options are the same of the romantic ones ( for example, there's arovague and arospike in the sexual cathegory)

People Clarifying/Expounding Upon Their Own Identity/Experiences

·  to clarify: i'm unsure whether or not i am demi or aceflux; so i use graysexual since both labels technically fall under that as an umbrella term.

• I’m still a confused gorl and I really only know that I don’t like sex it sexual acts but I do like romantic and sensual acts

• Sex/romance repulsed and I have aesthetic attraction

• I'm also animesexual and fictosexual (and romantic I guess but I don't like using the SAM for myself).

• I have never seen most of these labels, haha, I expect one of them is the one I always forget that's for being aro due to past trauma but people always assume it's romantic/sexual trauma so I don't use it and thus have forgotten it...but that's the essay I'm not usually up for writing: was biromantic but then had several awful life events on top of each other and had a complete breakdown and have been aro since. Unclear if it's permanent but it's been 14 years now. [note: I believe this person is thinking of caedromantic]

• I tend to use the word ace more than asexual because it's shorter, but I don't feel more favorably about one than the other.

• i can't tell the difference between platonic vs romantic attraction, and am unsure if people i have "liked" in the past was romantic, platonic, or a fake stemming from peer pressure.

• Also Gender-Neutral/Agender

• I’m gray-aro but identify more with being biromantic even though I know I’m aro-spec. As for sexual orientation, I’m just completely ace xD

• The fact I'm still trying to figure out my gender makes it harder to pinpoint exactly what my orientations are :( but I usually say I'm queer, and if it's safe: Bi Ace, and if I can get more specific: biromantic grey-asexual

• I also use a platonic label (biplatonic). I use it not in a friendship way, but more like in a QPR way.

• Thank you for doing this! My identity on the aro/ace spectrums has shifted a lot over the years and while I’ve just settled on aroace and queer for the most part, this community is so diverse and under appreciated. People who find joy in/identify with micro-identities are valid and deserve representation!

• I'm still figuring out my romantic orientation but it's looking less allo by the day lmao

• My romantic label is very fluid, but in terms of sexual labels, very sex repulsed Asexual

• Content with just Aspec cause it's difficult to pinpoint anything but cool with both asexual/ace and aromantic/aro

• I think of my romantic orientation as halfway between aromantic and homoromantic

• I'm a polyamorous ace, if there'd be a way to include that sometimes that'd be neat :)

• I am still questioning my identity

• I used to identify as 100% ace but now I have no idea other than that I seem to be pan-ace in some way shape or form so my identity is ???people???

• Sex/romance repulsed and I have aesthetic attraction

• to clarify: i'm unsure whether or not i am demi or aceflux; so i use graysexual since both labels technically fall under that as an umbrella term.

Queer Rights

• Trans rights, baybee 🤠🦂

• I just hope a-spec and aro-spec people will experience less negativity and hate this year <3

• Aspec rights!!

• aspec rights, baby

People Being Nice to Me  (I appreciated this thank you everyone!!)

·  :)

• Have a good day

• Uhhh, cool survey, nice to see a lot of labels.... good job! Nothing I have to add, it was great

• Have fun chief, thank you for your work

• Thank you for creating!

• thanks for the survey! I don't know too many aspec in person so I love participating in things like this about the ace/aro community!

• Thank you for what you’re doing

• just hi :)

• thanks!!

• I really love your blog! Reading your posts always makes me happy :) [note: thank you!]

• Good luck, have a nice day !

• I hope you're having a good day :)

• you're lived and valid af!! have a great day!!!

• Thank you for all your hard work i really appreciate it ☺️

• Drink some water Right Now OP

• Nope, :> hope the best for you.

• Cool survey, 10/10 would survey again.

• 💛

• Have a nice day uwu

• Nope! Have a nice day!

• Thank you for making pride flag edits! They're really nice! [note: thank you!!]

• nope, but this is really cool!!

• ❤️

• Have a good day.

• I think this survey idea is super cool! Definitely a great way to see what sort of aspec people are on tumblr :)

• You are doing the lords work

• Thank you for asking us.

• good luck!

• This is really cute idea :)

• I hope you're having a nice day!

• Good luck in your endevours!

• Thank you for making our community visible!

• Have a good day :3

• Have a good day!!

• Keep doing great stuff!

• Thank you for all the positivity I get from your blog! It's super helpful, keep it up :) [note: thank you!!]

• thanks for doing this. recognition is always nice

• Have fun <3

• Lots of love 💛

• This is a cool project, thanks for doing it and good luck! :)

People Saying They Love Me (and I love you, random a-specs)

·  i love you OP!!!!!

• love you, hope you have a great day

An A-Spec Person Being Rude to Other A-Specs

• If you enjoy sex with your romantic partner then you are not asexual

A Person Who Is Not A-Spec Being Rude To A-Specs

• sweetie im sorry that you're so insecure that you feel like you have to make up new identities to feel better about yourself. if you are a lesbian or bisexual please know that you are welcome in the community, but other than that making thousands of microlabels like this makes a huge joke out of what was once an important and respected group. nobody takes us seriously anymore because of this shit. does labelling your identity like this really help you with anything? demisexual and fraysexual and all this are just fancy words for normal human feelings that everyone has. there is no need to microlabel it.

Other

· [variations of “no” (12)]

• not sure that helps lmao but still hope it does. all the best

• Axolotls (or as I like to call them, asexulotls) are amazing and I love them [Note: the man in question]

• Sorry, I can't remember the names of any blogs that do edits

• Ok random but the colors of the aro/ace flag? The blue and orange one? They’re gorgeous.

• I'm not so sure if I should use the aroace flag, I feel comfortable using both aro and ace flags, but I don't like the colors for the aroace flag :c [note: these are in chronological order, it’s a total coincidence that these comments are together]

• Curious to see where the survey goes

• It would be cool if you could also do some aplatonic-spectrum edits!

• there were fully half of the terms on that list that i had never even seen before. like, everything below litho down to no label was entirely new to me. at some point i will look into those! (but not right now, my brain is full enough at the moment)

• actually had to look up the majority of these orientations. Thank you for the opportunity to learn!

• Gonna reblog and follow and hopefully learn a bit more, about others and myself

Note: The only comment that is not listed in order is the first comment, which I put at the top because I found it the most important. It’s so important that kids and teens have space to explore their identity and learn about themselves. The reason I made this blog in the first place was because I was 19 and working on figuring out my gender and sexuality. Now that I’m a bit older and understand things better, I’m so glad that I’m able to help people in this way. 

I make it a point to be very openly queer in my life and at work because I need LGBTQ+ people, especially youths, to know that we’re here. I’m lucky that I live somewhere that I can be visibly queer and speak about it openly. We are everywhere, and there’s more of us than you think!

Something that I really like about the comments at the top is that they show how diverse we are, and how people use words differently. Some people feel like they’re more aroace than aromantic and asexual separately, and others consider their romantic and sexual orientations to be completely different things.

I definitely relate to the person who identifies are myrromantic and myrsexual with their friends but just says aroace when speaking with people they don’t know as well. I believe a lot of people use different words depending on who they’re speaking with.

[nathansqueak]

hi guys spending all this time cooped up alone with just my partner and his mom and all our plants is making me realize that fresh-out-of-the-closet seventeen year old me was right and i am a gay trans man.

i cannot begin to describe the amount of internalized transphobia and misogyny i had to work thru to come to that conclusion. seventeen yo me knew but i was ashamed of the fact that i didn’t want to give up feminine things or my relationship to femininity and so i figured that meant i couldn’t be a guy.

like straight up.

years later after developing several good close friendships with cisgender gay men i realized that they tended to wear make up and nail polish and dresses more than i did and it never made them question their gender, it was just fun

and it took until NOW for me to backtrack on SEVEN YEARS of of internalized bullshit to realize that the only reason i figured i couldn’t be a trans man was because i still wanted to wear jewelry and dresses and own feminine things and be, well, feminine

i figured i must be genderqueer, which later specified to agender, because that granted me the liberty to dress and behave however i wanted without contradicting myself. that i was myself beside gender and without it, and thus free to do whatever the fuck i wanted with myself.

except that im now realizing that....i can do that, and have that, and be that, as a trans man, and thinking of myself as not just a man, but as a gay man, makes me really happy.

like, gender euphoria levels of happy. in a way that i, as a self reflective person, cannot ignore.

for years ive had a running internal list of, i guess, reasons why i can’t possibly be a man. the biggest was a revulsion to straight cisgender men that clouded my perception of manhood. the second was a complex of dysphorias and euphorias: i don’t always feel dysphoric about my body and all its parts in the same way that trans men typically are-though i do have dysphoric triggers-but when i bind to the point of actually being (almost) flat it gives me such an overwhelming sense of elation and correctness that i can not find words. cutting my hair off is an indescribable therapy.

the list of reasons going on would be too ridiculous to list, things that one might hear from the mouth of any transphobe. i have too many feminine decorations, i tell myself, and feminine clothes, and every time i listen to a woman musician i feel like that points some kind of finger back at myself and it’s all just nonsense. my cisgender gay male friends don’t worry about these things. one asks me to help paint his nails while we stay up late drinking bubbly wine and listening to lady gaga. one takes me to a big name make up store to help him pick out the colors that are going to go on his face for the show we’re going to that night. one sits down to tea and face masks with me, the first face mask ive ever worn. it’s all fun. we hang out because we get along, and enjoy the same things. they are all gay, they are all men. they do not question themselves.

why have i spent so long questioning myself?

of course the rest of the world will continue to stop at my breasts and look and listen no further. i will expect that until the day i have them removed. but ive known that all the while, and i stopped at being non-binary anyway. i let myself believe that i was being strong, that i had given up on/didn’t care about presentation because what matters is that I know who and what i am, but i was not being forward or honest with myself. i was hiding in some kind of shame.

shame that i could be a trans man who isn’t masculine.

that’s what fucked me up for so long. im not a masculine person. how can i be a man if im not masculine?

im realizing that my idea of masculinity is just that.

[thatskelebitch]

wait,, i see you call crona nonbionary but other people call crona female and male sometimes,, im confused?.

Okay so, cannon-wise Crona is confirmed by the creator himself to be agender (it’s why I use they/them pronouns)

Back when the Soul Eater mangas first came out, they used a japanese term when referring to Crona that didn’t specify a gender. But when it was translated to english, they/them and other gender terms we have today weren’t as widely accepted.

Thus, the editors had to give them pronouns. (In the anime they gave Crona masculine pronouns and I’m unsure of the manga because I haven’t gotten there yet)

But sometimes people either don’t know that or they hc Crona as a specific gender. (I personally don’t mind this, but there are some Crona fans out there that dislike it)

[clownfluid]

continuing my messy train of thought in its own post;

i consider myself both trans and nb, because in my mind those things are heavily connected.. and i don’t think i ever actually took the time to think about a situation in which they would not be?

i am currently already physically transitioning from the sex i was assigned at birth, ive been on hormones for some time and I plan to have multiple surgeries. some of the things i’ve already done to my body already cannot be reversed, and i am happy about this. i signed the waivers and did the paperwork and i’m pleased with the results thus far.

(so eat my whole ass, transmeds.)

i experience frequent and reoccurring physical, social, and general un-categorized dysphoria. some of which that has been lessened by my transitioning process thus far, and some which has not, due to, yknow, society.

i also experience frequent gender euphoria, which can best be described in my own words as someone addressing me by a certain name, pronoun or otherwise and suddenly my whole physical being and mental state feel as blessed as when you pull your favorite blanket right out of the dryer and wrap yourself up in it while it’s still warm. something just clicks and feels right.

.. anyway all of that was meant to serve as a yes i’ve checked every (unnecessary) box to ���’’confirm’’’ myself as trans. but that’s not the thing that was in question.

‘cause i have yet to, in this post, state, for lack of better terminology, ‘WHICH WAY IM TRANSITIONING’ . . . so if i had outright said  “i was assigned a cis-female at birth and now am physically getting surgeries to appear as cis-male passing as possible”  - would that make me “more trans” than if id said  “i wasnt happy with what i was assigned so i started asking people to use neutral pronouns for me and i began to present (with clothing and other such) as if i had no discernible gender at all.”

???

like.. fuckin obviously no id think that the gender in which you are transitioning to would have no weight on whether or not you are transitioning at all. . . you either are trans, or you are not . . ?

* note that i am not stating any specific means of what that ‘transition’ entails either; because it can be very different for different people and i will die before i let a transmed get ahold of this post and misinterpret it miserably to somehow devalue nonbinary or multigendered people.

not every transgender persons goal is to pass as cis. not every transgender person is physically able to transition with medications or surgery. not every transgender person is safely able to come out / transition. not every transgender person wants to physically alter their body with medications or surgery; perhaps due to a fluid identity, or the risks involved: OR WHATEVER THE REASONS MAY BE, THEY PROLLY AINT NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS UNLESS THE PERSON SHARES THAT W/ YOU.

sssssso relating to that, i dont think you can really be fuckin.. “half trans” either. sure, your identity could be similar to what you were already assigned, such as a cis-girl then coming out as a demi-girl... but by doing that you’ve already stated that youre.. not fully a cis girl!!!???

sure ok, you could make the argument that a demigirl considering herself a trans girl is different than an amab trans girl being a trans girl: Because those are entirely different experiences with gender, possibly entirely different expressions of gender and individual people living unique lives with their own perspective.

are they related? sure, probably far more than a cis persons experience with gender. are they exactly the same? not quite that either.

but are they both transitioning in their own ways? .. yes. im pretty sure so?

so would i consider a demigirl trans? .. yes.

would i consider an agender person trans? yes.

do i consder nonbinary people trans? yes!! 

why? would you? not be??

thats the part i cant answer without thinking ‘does it have to do w the stigma of coming out as trans?? are they jsut in DEEP denial?? do they think bc theyre not physically altering their body that theyre not ‘’really trans’’ ?? ...... because those are just off the wall examples and theyre all wrong in their own individual ways..

so like. fuck, man.

[stag-bi]

u DONT have a fursona????? unfollowd

get ready for a BIG ASS ramble. u asked for it

ive tried to make a fursona several times but i just cant figure out an "ideal me". i dont know how id present myself if i could do anything i wanted?? i just dont have a clear image of how i wish i looked. and either way i wouldnt wanna be an anthropomorphic animal even though i love drawing them. id rather just be some floating mass of ethereal pink glitter (in a masc way)

i have no problem drawing myself in a cartoony style cause im portraying how i look irl. but if i had to make a fursona id be stumped on the very first step of having to choose which animal id be. i dont really identify with any type of animal 😭

whenever i wanna look different its related to how other ppl currently perceive me, and how i want them to perceive me instead. if theres no mandatory audience to make conclusions abt my personality, gender, etc based on my looks, then whats the point of wanting to look like anything. i dont experience life in third person. even if my whole body changed dramatically, i would still exist in it in first person just like i did previously. my feelings would still be the same. my experience of life would be the same. the only thing that would change would be how others would treat me. and if i would be accepted and appreciated regardless of my looks, then it doesnt matter how i look. in which case, id prefer not to have a perceivable body in the first place.

its strongly affected by my being agender, bc when i first tried to make a fursona, i couldnt even finish a sketch to decide if i liked it or not, bc i couldnt get past things like "do i draw my body w all its lumpy gendered parts, or do i lean towards neutered androgyny? do i reflect reality, and thus succumb to having ppl speculate what my assigned sex is, or do i remove them in favor of succumbing to the pressure of how ppl characterize androgyny and genderlessness? why do my lumps have to be gendered in a magical world where animals are people? how do i portray my inner lack of gender with a body on which the existence AND non-existence of certain parts are inherently gendered?"

the answer is that its easier to simply not do it at all. so i exist in the furry community as nothing but disembodied text lol. i use my OC as my avatar etc, which makes ppl assume she's my fursona, which kinda sucks bc im the Opposite of her, but its somehow peaceful to use her as a facade instead of myself.

and yes, during my 7+ yrs of mild popularity in the furry community, ppl HAVE speculated on my assigned sex, and demanded to know it. mostly they assume im a trans woman, bc my favorite oc is one. its soothing to have this one place where i can be vague abt it, so i guess ill never have a fursona lol

[nonbeesphoric]

how can you be agender and unaligned but also a gay man? I’m curious as to how you can identify as agender but also as mlm

theres a few reasons. (ive talked abt it before if u scroll a bit, if u wanna know more)the social classes of "man" and "woman" are heavily tied to heterosexuality. as a gay man i reject that completely because i dont connect to it at all. if alignment terminology (man-aligned and woman-aligned) wasnt misused so often and used to reduce nonbinary people to man-lite or woman-lite, while erasing the fact that their identity is a whole nonbinary identity, then i would say im "man-aligned". however, this isnt the case, and i dont want people to ignore a vital part of my identity. i say im unaligned because i actively reject alignment terminologyim not a woman, and im exclusively attracted to men, so my love of men is inherently different than a straight woman's (aka my love of men isnt straight)i cant explain why im agender, its just one of those things, yknow? i dont have a gender, i'm disconnected from the whole concept, it doesnt apply to me, im genderless, etc. etc. but like despite that, i do share experiences and feelings and spaces with men (thats what "man-aligned" originally meant, but again its misused so often that i cant identify that way).a few of these things are: nonstraight love for men, people that are attracted to men being attracted to me (and not ppl that r attracted to women), not belonging or being comfortable in women's spaces (and feeling comfortable/accepted/belonging in men's spaces), transitioning in a stereotypically masc/male way, being perceived as a man and thus potentially having male privilege. theres a lot of things. i also present socially irl as a man very heavily and really only come out as agender or nonbinary to people im close with. its half a safety thing, half i dont feel like every single person is entitled to know that part of me. its honestly a little personalso i guess the easiest way to put it is im agender and i love men in a gay way, again, while STILL being agender. i hope that cleared some things up, and if youve got more questions go ahead and ask or feel free to DM me ! btw i specifically id as a gay man and less as mlm but im not super picky abt it(by the way this feeling is slightly more common in wlw, i find, because not only is the class of woman tied heavily to heterosexuality, they also can potentially feel the need to distance themselves from the male gaze. i would ask an agender lesbian about the topic further, because they might have more insight than me)

[schwarzskid]

what exactly is the point of identifying as nonbinary after all that.... transitioning? im a pre everything trans guy and i dont see the appeal of that. i identify 100% as male, just because u like makeup dont mean ur less of a man

I agree, make up =\= less masculine. But my identity is a bit more complex than that. The male identity is materialistically attached to certain qualities, and I’ve never identified with the qualities of “maleness”. I don’t want any gendered coding to my thoughts/actions/feelings including my appearance, thus my identifying as nonbinary. (Agender specifically)That does not mean I don’t experience dysphoria, which is why I started hormones and had surgery. The way my “feminine” appearing body and face was so heavily sexualized and coded with gender gave me extreme dysphoria, so medical transition was a good choice for me. It’s taken me a long time to truly understand my identity, but I no longer want to do it through a gendered lens. Long story short, I’ve always been non-binary, just not always out. And non-binary people can have dysphoria and transition, too.

[lesbitchka]

(nomasexual anon) how do you know if you are woman-aligned? because I've looked at a lot of sources and im still confused. also if im attracted to nb genders, how could i be called a lesbian? (bc lesbians are only attracted to women) and what orientation(s) does nomasexual erase? it just means im not attracted to men?? sorry if this comes off as rude im just trying to learn and im a little confused (mogai hell and all)

nb women are still women. some agender people have enough ties to womanhood to be alright with lesbians dating them too, it doesn’t make the lesbian any less of a lesbian. some people want to make the distinction between cis women and nb women in their sexuality and thus ID as bi instead of lesbian, but other than personal conviction, there’s literally no need

as long as you aren’t attracted to people who experience manhood, lesbian is fine. which is why “nomasexual” is bullshit that erases the possibility to identify as a lesbian, as well as perpetuates the idea that lesbianism is binary. lesbians have always had a weird relationship to gender. claiming that “lesbian” means binary women dating other binary women only is laughable and ignores our history

and honestly, you don’t even have to be woman-aligned. some lesbians’ connection to womanhood is purely in their attraction to women and women only (and yes, that includes nb women) - agender lesbians aren’t uncommon. as long as you don’t experience manhood - if you aren’t a man or male-aligned at any point - lesbian is just fine