#throws off her ... idk composition

[thewanderingmask]

Hellooo sorry to barge into your inbox like this but I am going FERAL over your Joel winner art so I hope you can excuse this senseless essay of a ramble

First off, stained glass window art?? Yes please?? I love how the entire fandom has just accepted that kind of style for the winners and it's FABULOUS. I absolutely adore your art style and Joel looks SO COOL in it!!! The sword and the ender pearl is perfect (the sword because he's a fighter, the pearl because that's how he died!!)

The hands around him!!! I LOVE how distinct every single one of them are, you can immediately tell who they belonged to. (Okay, the black long-sleeve thumbs-up is giving me trouble. Gem?? But the others going clockwise I BELIEVE are Pearl (the crown ring!!), Ren, Bdubs, Cleo, Tango, Grian, and Etho.)

The backgrounds are LOVELY and immediately distinct: Gem's barn, Scott's cake, Scar's roller coaster, the Tuff Guy's bases, the Spanner's bridges, and the bamboo for the Bamboozlers!!

THE FIVE PREVIOUS WINNERS!!! Quite frankly I consider it silly that we've been canoodling around with celestial objects for so long and I LOVE the symbols you chose for everyone- the red eye for Grian, the stars for beloved Scott, the crescent moon for Pearl, the sunflower for Scar and Martyn's shirt design!!

I'm deeply fascinated by the flowers- the cherry blossom is most likely a tie to his s10 base, but cherry blossoms also symbolize the balance between life and death, beauty and violence. Very fitting for our family-oriented yet ever bloodthirsty Joel!! The blue ones are most likely forget-me-nots, which also fits very well with Joel's ideals of making alliances and having "friends, not family".

"It's Your Turn"... man, I was rooting so hard for Joel this season and I'm SO HAPPY he won. Man deserves a victory.

I'm terribly sorry for this block of text but I just really wanted to tell you that your art is APPRECIATED and your style is FABULOUS and it always makes me smile when it pops up. Keep creating, my friend, because you have gorgeous talent and I'm incredibly grateful you shared it with us. Cheers!

hi anon and thank you for this lovely message, it made my day

longer art talk under the cut

you're absolutely right about all the hands, well done figuring out gem! it was based on her red life skin, but i couldn't think of anything to make it more clear who it was.

(at least, not until after i'd already finished and posted the piece)

flower language is rad and i did wonder about the meaning of the ones in here, but didn't actually think to look anything up. i like that the blue ones are forget-me-nots! i added them to the winners' circle as a nod to cleo's avatar!

because i literally forgot there were 6 previous winners until i'd already committed to the composition.

the series i forgot about was actually limited life. idk why. i'm new actually haven't seen any series before this one. (i also had to check with a friend of mine who's been watching the series a lot longer, to see if the symbols i'd picked would work for the other victors)

anyway since Real Life was april fools and not really played the same way as the others, i figured it made sense to add martin to the symmetrical circle of 5, and put something around the circle to represent cleo. hence the blue and yellow flowers!

and yep the sakura is hugely inspired by his hermitcraft base, plus the trees at the site of the final fight. learning it has meanings that work so well for his performance just puts such a smile on my face!

(since drawing this, i've seen other people using a comet, which is also so freaking good)

anyway thank you again for this ask, and for giving me an excuse to go off about how i put Very Much Thoughts into art sometimes

i haven't really interacted with many folks in the fandom itself! i'm shy, and i'm generally pretty happy to sit quietly in my corner and sometimes throw a piece of art to the winds to go wherever it might. but a result is that i don't always know how my art is received, if it lands, or it if it feels off to folks who've been around longer.

so your message made me really happy today! thank you!

[hotwaterandmilk]

So I watched the first episode of the Paripi Koumei/Ya Boy Kongming! drama and it was quite lushly put together and nice, imho. I'm still not that healthy so I've just put together my rando thoughts while watching below.

The obnoxious Joker dancing on the stairs was a nice touch for the post-Halloween party scene.

The show is visually well-composed, a lot of effort has been put into the composition of scenes, the lighting and the cinematography. While I'd say the manga has decent but not spectacular visuals, the drama is well-crafted as an immersive visual and auditory experience.

The scenes set in the past feel heavily influenced by historical dramas and the visuals differ from the present scenes nicely. The heightened sense of reality works well in these moments as they are Kongming's memories/dreams/etc. rather than the present reality.

Mukai Osamu as Kongming sells the entire show. He plays the dramatic scenes with heart but doesn't hesitate to throw all his effort into the humour as well. I don't think you could get much better live action casting for a role as quirky as this series' version of Kongming.

Kobayashi having the full setup of Three Kingdoms miniatures in his desk was honestly a genius touch. It really helped them transition nicely during the culmination of Kongming's strategy at the end of the episode (something I had been unsure they could pull off convincingly in live action).

I'd say the weakest link link the show thus far is EIKO herself. In this version of the story she lacks a lot of the energy the character has in previous incarnations. I'm also not sure if the additional moment before meeting Kobayashi (which shows her suicide attempt happened after someone busted her guitar) brought anything to her character either.

I'm also not a massive fan of her songs in this first episode? They also lack energy imho. I just kind of sat there thinking "Yeah I'd go listen to someone else too" when she was performing during the episode's climax. Which is a shame, I love EIKO in the manga and anime so I really hope they lift her up a bit more in the drama in subsequent episodes.

I get what they were going for having her be a bit "flat" given how she feels her career has stalled before her encounter with Kongming, but I found her keeping that low energy while performing an odd choice idk.

Watching "I'm Still Alive Today" being performed here you're like yeah, I get why EIKO is entranced by Maria (Avu-chan kills this scene). I didn't feel the same way when Kongming was entranced by EIKO during the Halloween performance though.

I wasn't sure about how much they changed up Kobayashi's appearance to scream yakuza in the drama, but then they showed his stupid hair from behind. Immediately sold, no notes. Kobayashi here seems more intimidating in his new leopard-print attire, as if he'd genuinely kick your ass for EIKO. That then heightens the humour when he brings out his miniatures and is shown to be a total otaku. Good stuff.

Mia's performance and overall vibe was pretty much perfect for who she is when we first meet her in the story. I like how the drama really does replicate these types of performances well with the lighting and the backup dancers, they do feel like real performances.

Speaking of performances. Shoutout to the fact that the episode ended with this bit. Sekiguchi Mandy has incredible thighs. I find it interesting that they're introducing Maezono Keiji in the first episode (given he's from the Summer Sonia arc).

Overall I think there's definitely enough here that's different to warrant a watch if you're a fan of either the manga or anime. From small things like EIKO just bringing Kongming to the back of the B.B. Lounge rather than her apartment, through to significant changes like Keiji being in it from the get-go. I'm keen to see how they pull it all off in 10 episodes.

[imagionationstation]

If you insist… /j

Uhhh - I imagine he had lots of gold (jewelry) and stuff cuz Apollo was associated with gold. Also do you think he’d be taught music cuz Apollo was the god of music and also BM thinks he needs many skills. Idk.

I just wanna see him play Violin

Also I think he’d be a fashionista. Idk diva/fashionista Donnie is funny to me. BM probably doesn’t let him go anywhere without bodyguards most likely. Idk. I’m throwing ideas out :3

-♊️

I can see gold/jewelry getting in the way of his many experiments. It also just seems like an unnecessary hassle to his full days. Rings and bracelets are especially uncomfortable to wear while sketching. It’s far to many extra minutes spend putting them on and taking them off that could be better spent drawing a blueprint or handling a deadly chemical composition.

Maybe Big Mama tried to get him used to them, but child Donnie either found new places to hide them or they ended up welded as part of his early inventions. She got tired of buying new ones.

She only makes him wear them for gatherings and other social events. He’s not comfortable in them, and often subconsciously messes with them, but he wears them to keep her happy. She became tired of scolding, so she makes a point to smack his hands or arm every time he gets fidgety with them, hoping to get him to stop.

He doesn’t. Mostly because he never notices until the blow.

Then he tries to keep track of his movements. It’s hard when he’s anxiously trying to keep an eye on everything else as well.

Figiting is the only thing that keeps him from getting up when everyone else is sitting and crossing the room to push in that one chair that’s a couple inches too fair from the table, and is the only thing that he’s been able to think about all evening.

A smack is better than failing social etiquette.

Oh, I definitely think that he’d be taught how to play!

It think that would be one of the first things that Big Mama encourages him to do. Busy little hands needed to be channeled into something other than satisfying curiosities. He learned a couple different instrument over the years, nothing uncivil, mind you. He never quite took to it, but it seemed to be one of his few hobbies that Big Mama chose that he was able to do right in her eyes.

Big Mama loves to use his talents to entertain the guests at the hotel. Musical ones are definitely included. Piano, Violin, Acoustic Guitar, and- because he built his own and he only plays what she allows- a modern keytar. The last one is very recent development and he’s still learning when he meets Leo&Mikey.

TRUE THOUGH. AND HE HATES IT.

He doesn’t say anything to Big Mama’s face, but he severely dislikes being stalked by her hires. He does not want them in his room, or his lab, or following him around the hotel! It’s not like anyone’s ever tried to hurt him. Why can’t he get five minutes of privacy?

It makes existence so much harder because he knows that everything he says or does can and will be reported back to her. They’re supposed to protect him, but some days he feels so trapped. Free speech is not available to him. He knows it’s so he can’t mess up or ruin their reputation, but it really gets on his nerves in more ways than one. Again, something that he doesn’t vocalize.

He has to fact-check everything that he says when they’re around. Even existing is hard because they make the simple act of knowing when or when not to smile or frown exhausting.

He doesn’t actually get to experience freedom until his brothers come around and start encouraging him to ditch the bodyguards.

And, really, if Raph thinks it’s cool, who is he to argue?

Diva/fashionista? See, my first instinct was to be like “Would he tho?” But then I thought about it and like…

*sigh* *rubs forehead* He would tho…

[koukouture]

I have decided that I want to be obnoxious so I will be compiling all of my favorite Gposes in this post + context as to why I like it so much.

Also I miss gposing (I'm unsubscribed bc I need to focus on school rn)

This is one of my oldest screenshots from when I first managed to get Anamnesis working on the FFXIV free trial. I've had this idea of Elysia in her dragoon armor falling above Ishgard ala Spiderverse style and I actually tried to draw it once but ofc it kinda sucked ass and this screenshot turned out wayyyyy better. Might just be one of my favorite gposes of all time tbh. Anyways after taking this I kinda came up with a little headcanon that it's a rite of passage for new dragoons to jump off the top floor of the Vault and kind of parkour their way all the way down to the lowest point of Ishgard. So uhhh yeah dragoon supremacy.

I love this one a lot just by virtue of how unexpectedly hard this pose was for me? I has also just finished Stormblood when I started getting into Gpose so I was super Zenos pilled at the time. Anyways, this pose was really hard because a) I was still learning Anamnesis and b) you have no idea how hard it is to make this height different work even when Zenos is lying down 💀

This one was a part of a little photoshoot partially inspired by the hand scene in Perfect Blue where the stalker pretends to hold Mima in the palm of his hand except with my OCs- but it turned out I like the solo shot of Elysia better because idk man LOOK AT IT. The aura is unmatched. Simple composition but it's still so perfect.

These are from the same photoshoot and I'm really only including them because of how hard it was to line this up. But yeah anyways I think I did pretty good.

Uhhhh I really love the Royal Menagerie okay??? Anyways yeah once again just finished Stormblood and I thought Zenos and Elysia deserved a fight scene with a lot of sexual tension so these are like hypothetical shots of that.

AGAIN WITH THE ZENOS- Yeah so- I actually have a lot of more romantic/intimate shots but I feel like they never turn out quite as cinematic as my uhhh normal/more action based screenshots I guess? But I really love this one because the lighting and framing seems so intimate~ Also Zenos being almost reverent with his beast? Hell yeah

Okay I cropped this one that's how you KNOW it's good. What can I say? I really love dragoons. Also I was kind of stressing about this shot because I was worried that maybe Estinien's lance wouldn't be held the right way (I was using the dragoon victory pose) but thank god it was because look at this shot!!!! I have a couple more dynamic pictures where they're both on top of the statue of Haldrath but I think this one takes the cake. Also I captioned this shot "A legacy written in blue- Ishgard's Azure Dragoons" and idk I think that eats.

Okay this one was sooooo fucking hard to get mostly because Anamnesis doesn't let you spawn in actors like Brio does so in most cases you only have your player character, carbuncle, and maybe a training dummy if you're doing a photoshoot in duty finder mode. In the overworld I actually had to use NPCs as extra actors and that is NOT fun. I trailed to nail a more horror-esque vibe but idk maybe this could have benefitted from a little tweaking in Photoshop or a better shader preset because I could NOT find one I liked for this photoshoot. Obviously I love the DRK quests because who doesn't??? Don't worry, I have more DRK themed screenies to come

Oooo okay so this one is inspired by my Hellbound AU fanfic and tldr all you need to know is that Haurchefant is in the Heaven's Ward and DEDICATED to his wife. How dedicated? How about breaking his oath of celibacy and being ready to throw away his nation for her?

Once again super simple composition but immensely impactful. A general tip for taking screenshots in video games is to keep your character either in the center or closer to one of the corners of the frame AND NEVER OFF TO ONE SIDE KIND OF HOVERING IN THE MIDDLE (unless they are framed by something closer to the camera or if there's another character to help draw the gaze/balance the picture) Another things I guess for gpose specifically is to really think about the way your character's outfit will look in the environment. Do you want them to match or really stand out? I should probably make a post of dedicated gpose tips no? Anyways- I really love this one because she just looks so ominous lmao. Btw this is L'hamara! She's not a WoL OC but I still think about my lesbian bunny girl constantly.

Oh Zenos is here again. I promise I ship Elysia with other characters Zenos just has better screenshot potential. Yeah so I think Zenos should have skewered WoL Sephiroth style.

Mmmm okay I know I have a cropped version of this laying around somewhere but little known fact about me is that I LOVE Nier Automata so after I finished Shadowbringers before ANYTHING else I did the Nier raids STAT. The white haired girl is named Saji btw- she's my friend's OC and Elysia's (sometimes) girlfriend :)

God I wish I had nicer screenshots of my other WoL Xia but I don't think I have any cool ones :(. Anyways please perceive my stylish kitty cat daughter and her loser (affectionate) boyfriend. I don't really post about her and I should change that lmao- I keep thinking about how hard it would be on her as a literal teenager being the WoL. I need to do more stuff for her man.

Another cropped one so it bangs ofc. As you can see, I got some mods for Elysia which is really just using C+ to edit her face and hair bones a little lmao. I captioned this one "Hades could not help but hope- for he saw her in the folly of man" which I think is a BANGER fucking line. Something about WoL ultimately proving to him that sundered souls ARE a people worth living... it gets me man. Sometimes it just takes a girl that looks like your dead situationship from 12000 years ago to make you realize that all life is sacred. I will say though I do wish that there was a neat water shadow while in Amarot. I think there's one in other parts of the Tempest but don't quote me on that. I just wanna sell the underwater vibes sometimes yk?

Ugh these... I told you I had more DRK screenshots. This was actually for the entry of this glamour on Eorzea collection and obviously I took versions without the mod but come on man... my girl deserves her luscious long locks. Oh also yes you can pose shadow Esteem!!!! Search "Esteem" when you go to load in NPC appearance and they'll load in- just be careful because the smoke effect doesn't follow them once you've posed them so make sure to position them before you move any bones.

I didn't actually pose Elysia much or anything I just took this before I did the Zodiark trial lmao. I just think it's neat how he peaks between the beams of light almost like they're imprisoning him. I do wish I had changed Elysia's outfit tho because the only think you can really see is her sword while her dress blends in. I had a nice DRK winter glam for the expedition into Garlemald maybe I should have kept her in that.

Oooooh okay these two- The idea behind these two was Elysia and her co-tanks- and obviously Elysia is the off tank because DRK is a DPS job at this point.

Soooo this one is obviously more on the comedic side but this is 100% one of my favourite screenshots ESPECIALLY after adding the text box. Glorious. Imagine your older brother and your pseudo older brother figure fuck I would literally become homophobic too /j

[night-unfurls-its-splendour]

Susan Kay's 'Phantom' Read: Part III (Giovanni)

Now I started out very annoyed that Kay once again chose to hand over the narrative to one of her OC's, proclaiming "this page says 'Giovanni', who the hell is he?"

But actually this section turned out to the the least objectionable episode so far.

Note I say 'least objectionable'.

So for those who haven't read Phantom, Giovanni is one of Kay's composite characters, a master stone mason (and Freemason, which.... dunno how I feel about that) who takes Erik on as an apprentice, slowly building a tentative trust with him, and an almost paternal relationship. Giovanni recognizes Erik true passion for the craft and leaves Erik mostly to his own devices while occasionally providing a steady guiding hand. Giovanni is a foil to the previous dominant male figure in Erik's life, the abusive Javert.

But unfortunately (as I'm given to understand will be a theme in this book) everything goes wonky when a girl enters the picture. The ominously vaunted Luciana, Giovanni's youngest daughter returns from school. She's characterized as spoiled, narcissistic and unstable and develops an immediate infatuation with her father's mysterious and aloof masked apprentice.

I say everything falls apart, not because of the absolutely preventable tragedy that follows, but because that tragedy happens for just... reasons. Giovanni acknowledges that it could have been prevented if he just packed his daughter back off to school as planned but hey-ho.

It all ends with Luciana pestering Erik about his mask until Giovanni finally breaks the tacit bond of trust between Erik and himself by urging Erik to just give in to Luciana's petulant whining. Erik does and Luciana throws herself back into chekhov's terrace balustrade (which Erik had noted shortly prior needed to be replaced) and falls to her death.

While this breach of trust provides a fairly good anecdote for why, even though there have been genuinely compassionate figures in Erik's life, he's still come away with such steadfast trust issues, it is somewhat weakened by the number of times Kay has Giovanni lampshade how this all could have been prevented if he wasn't such a pushover.

And then there's something I noticed in this episode that I've noticed as a growing theme.

Some of you may already have read this in the notes on my previous post on Madeleine's chapters, but I'm starting to think Kay just has serious issues with babies in general.

In Madeleine's narrative we're provided with two extreme ends of a scale regarding the cry of a newborn. The "utterly sexless--piercing, irritating, curiously unattractive" cry of a normal baby, and then Erik's cry which is a "music" that brings tears to her eyes "strangely seduc[es her] body so that [her] breasts ached with a primitive and overwhelming urge to hold him close". This begs the question in my mind: was Erik's cry really so unique, or was this just the phenomenon of a woman not really caring for children until her natural maternal bond with her own baby overrides that, and Kay just has a really twisted way of expressing that?

But then we're introduced to Giovanni and his daughter Luciana.

Giovanni had three daughters before Luciana, and his narrative regarding his daughters is interesting to say the least.

But the moment I parted the covers to look at her I was lost in wonder at the sight that greeted me. She did not look like the wrinkled prune that I had come to believe typified my newborn children. Even then she was beautiful, and her tiny little hand closing around my finger was only a symbol of the tenacity with which she wound herself around my heart in the following years.

Here again we are presented with the ugly image of the normal baby, while the child with attractive, pleasing qualities is characterized as manipulative.

Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but, idk. As one of my commenters said "Freud would have a field day with this woman."

Masterpost

[mellxncollie]

okay alex i'm finally able to give this the comprehensive response it deserves (also you opened a real can of worms here by being one of the few people to write such a thoughtful and expansive comment on a gifset so you're really getting the full commentary)

so firstly just. the baseline gifs are SOOO beautiful and vibrant oh my god. idk how you chose specific scenes for this but all of them slap SO HARD.

aaaaaa okay thank you i chose scenes mostly based off of what scenes i knew looked really good or had interesting colors, but also what i knew could be cropped to a square and still look okay. here are some other gifs that got cut because while the base gifs look pretty good, they don't have the colors and/or composition that work well for this format

then i also adore the contrast (ha) between the high-contrast vs the monochrome ones, both types are a Vibe okay!! the colour palettes are RIDICULOUSLY stunning, the colours are calling my name. ALSO the way that some of them are so subtle but the colour palette is the thing drawing your eyes to specific colours? LOVE THAT.

yes omg i'm so glad that you like the more subtle color picks. i wanted to go with the most obvious colors for most of them, but sometimes those small bits of other colors were just so essential to the look!

gif 1: my eyes are immediately drawn to the bright greens, then i see the light blue and go huh?? so cool, don't think i would've noticed those lights otherwise. also the way the gold background ties in with charles' pins/patches and somewhat edwin's shirt and face -- i know choosing colours specific to them would throw off the palette but it really just gives this ghostly feeling of them not being all there, only in bits and pieces, that i absolutely adore!

god this scene is such a gorgeous one and so fun to gif. but i struggled picking and arranging the colors for it. because yeah. i look at that shot and think green and yellow so adding that blue in the lights felt a bit out of left field. but also that blue really makes the green work so i felt like it needed to be there. and holy shit that observation about them being ghosts and not included in the palette -- not intentional but i'm obsessed now

gif 2: THESE COLOURS!!! going insane thank you. anyway the purple and blue!! again my eyes were going ?? and then i saw those windows, like it's a little spot-the-colour game and i'm having way too much fun with it. getting sunset vibes and i adore it. also the gif itself is just visually stunning oh my god. the movement of the gold leash?? WOW

such a stunning shot! and i didn't have to do too much with the colors, just up the vibrancy and brightness a bit and bam! gorgeous colors! initially this was the gif, using the yellow from the light (and also the leash) but the yellow felt a bit too similar to the yellow in the charles in esther's kitchen palette. i also wanted to include the teal but couldn't quite get it to work.

gif 3: jenny my beloved!! VERY fun colour scheme, love the lust cow inclusion, and then the subtle green to the right. (also i'm looking respectfully at jenny but the way her apron strap is twisted and her bra shows a little. um i'm definitely Looking)

YESSSSSSS JENNY!!! (she is soooo gorgeous) honestly i barely noticed this shot in all previous watchen but when trying to find scenes for this set, it just stood out because of just how many colors there are. also, yeah, cannot forget the lust cow! essential part of the scene.

gif 4: LOVE THE BLUES

this shot (and all the other ferry shots) annoys the hell out of me and my roommates because like,,,, that is not a washington ferry. they don't look like that. but i can ignore that for this set because the BLUES! they're so blue!!

gif 5: CRYSTAL MY BELOVED!!!! god i love the monochrome, also so interesting how it's a literal ocean of blood but the colours are not very saturated reds? and crystal's colour scheme just fits in perfectly, she looks like she was made for that place tbh

idk why i never really pieced together that it was really supposed to be blood because its always been... basically orange. i think this one reminds me a bit too much of dune but i still love it. it's such a stunning shot and crystal looks so good and powerful.

gif 6: idk if this was intentional but it's very similar to jenny's palette with very different vibes, wow!! again the obvious green and yellow, and then the darker orange is like oh! wow i didn't even notice that! like the colour palette block of orange is the most significant orange in that image and it just elevates the whole thing?? idk i love it! (also a VERY fun base gif, look at those funky ghost physics!! like that's not a normal guy bracing himself against a shelf okay)

not intentional but i did notice it when putting the set together and made some effort to not have them right next to each other. but absolutely different vibes, and it's interesting ebcause jenny's is more muted and a bit... ill? in a kind of medieval plague kind of a way? and it's full of knives and blood. and then this scene is in esther's place and her home is bright and vibrant and fun. and despite that, jenny's place is the safe one, and esther's is the place of danger and pain. (also ghost physics my beloved, probably my favorite charles scene from this episode)

gif 7: RAINBOW IN THE CLOSET! LOVE WINS!!

me making this gif: is this too on the nose? will people think this is trite or too silly? everyone in the tags on this gifset: OH MY GOD THE RAINBOW AND THEY'RE IN THE CLOSET!!!! 💛

(needless to say, i'm very happy i chose to keep it that way)

gif 8: this is one where it's such a mundane gif, but i adore that you included it, it made me look at it in more depth that i probably ever would. all the greens, and then the light blue! which actually fades out of sight as the camera pans down, so it's fun to watch the gif over and over to see that little bit of sky! and then the contrast of the bright white of the buildings (and their faces before they step into the shadow). *niko voice* so cool!

i said this on discord too but this one might be my favorite in this set. i love the palette and i love the shot. it's such a blink-and-you-miss-it kind of shot, despite being quite a long take, since it's not really about anything but the dialogue and the transition to the lost and found department that happens right after it. and yet, it's still so beautiful and well composed. the cinematographers really popped off on this show and they did not skip over anything. i'm glad that little bit of blue was somethign you could find, it's definitely such a small portion of the gif that i debated whether or not to even include it. but the color was so pretty and also there's a blue (or almost blue) in every single one of these gifs except crystal's, so i think it helps with keeping a through-line between the admittedly pretty different shots.

thank you so so much again for this comment, i truly treasure it. you're so amazing and kind, and the comments you leave on my work as well as all the fics and other things i see you comment on, it truly fuels the fandom!!

Dead Boy Detectives (2024) 1.01 — The Case of Crystal Palace (insp)

[maykitz]

It’s funny to me how Hideo Kojima is what David Cage thinks he is. Like, whatever flaws or negative things i might say about kojima’s body of work there is usually a pretty deep actually creative vision there that I respect. Hideo even created a game where there was actual gameplay and you didn’t “have to kill people” you could just throw piss bottles at ghosts and it was a solid 7/10 for me unlike David Cage’s “Games”

yeah like whatever (numerous) things you could critique about kojima's games and persona the results are still like. good. and enjoyable to play. they have both entertainment value and some degree of artistic merit and a "message" without trying so horribly hard and failing. and the thing is i dont think kojima actually does all of it on purpose; theres a lot of lucky accidents from his crazy ideas and his frequent inability to set a serious tone that get favourably interpreted as meta statements/4th wall self awareness/memeable campiness. but like..it works out i guess

they both go for realistic graphics but in kojima games theres still a clear and well executed philosophy and cohesiveness and just like, idk, an idea behind it (less so in the later ones imo but w/e). people who played and loved metal gear solid once on their playstation as kids 20 years ago could recognise snake and probably psycho mantis and sniper wolf today. who tf except fandom people remembers what the supporting cast of detroit from 2 years ago looked like? memorable shots? interesting compositions? music? legit everyone who played it remembers the snake eater ladder and that came out ages ago.

and like, randomly and inexplicably drifting into the supernatural is something they also both do in a pretty obvious rule of cool way but man, at least it actually is cool in metal gear. david cage couldnt do that scene where the boss dies and the huge field of white flowers turns red as her blood seeps into the soil and her scar slithers off her body like a snake if he sold his soul for it

[antiloreolympus]

5 Anti LO Asks

(Note: All of these asks are before episode 206 (Season 2 finale) so some may be dated.) 1. What doesn't help too is, and we've sene it for years now, is RS clearly doesn't like the ancient setting and always makes sure to demean it whenever she can. That's why the "modern" Underworld with its fancy parties and technology is framed as so much for desirable than the "backwards" nature and antiquity of Persephone's world. SHE needs to "progress", SHE needs to  change who SHE is to be "up to par" with the modern man Hades. I know RS doesn't know she's doing this, but her biases are there.

2. I honestly dont even get what the endgame is supposed to be. If this was like PJO or HADES aka set centuries after the canon mythology timeline then sure do whatever, but it's clearly not set then so? Why should RS make up whatever? At that point why even bother with greek mythology if she's wont even use its canon? just go 'inspired by' and go from there, not claiming to be "super accurate" to claim authority, but then claim "its just a retelling" when called out for being inaccuracy

3. Ya know I see some defend the lacking art now as "well at least it's consistent!" as if having consistent flat colors, uninteresting compositions, same faces/bodies, and overall rushed quality is a good thing? Cheap white bread is also consistent, but it doesn't mean it's good. I would much rather have her more interesting, experimental style than the ugly consistent style, but sadly we're stuck with the latter.

4. lo fans who say persephone isn't entitled don't have the new episodes supporting their case ☠️ten years isn't enough for all the lives she took and yet, here she is throwing a tantrum because zeus said no (she doesn't seem so remorseful now that the actual punishment is handed out and expects special treatment still). and instead of her priority being, idk maybe saving her mother first, it's going to see hades.

5. I feel like even in S1 you could see the artistic quality go down. Like somewhere around episode 25 you can see the decline and it only gets worse from there until what we have now, where everything is same faces/bodies and everyone is flat colors that they just look like people in matte body paint over a fantasy world. and no, I won't blame the art team for this. RS supposedly hires them off being able to mimic her style, there's a serious lack of oversight on RS's part here.

[eulaliasims]

@demigirlandy​ @katatty-main​​ @jsasimmer​​ @episims​​

@deedee-sims​​ I see you guys are eager for more sim facts! :D

Olivia Alvarez

You'd be shocked, considering the way I write her, but Olivia actually has ten nice points.

She hates nicknames (particularly Eileen's choice of Olive)

Her favorite book is Pride and Prejudice

You can see it if you go back far enough in her tag, but her hair is naturally brown. She feels that the blond suits her more!

She loves Euphemia more than anything, but she's very afraid of motherhood throwing off her planned career timeline.

Carlos Suarez-Wolkalski

His abuela taught him how to play piano when he was a kid

He loves acting, but he doesn't want to be a super famous star. All that pressure! He's quite happy with small parts and body-double work. Maybe a few local plays

Besides, he already has local fame--Carlos has been voted the Middleground Gazette's Best Dressed Citizen twice!

He makes most of his own jewelry

He genuinely loves sharing the house with Jack and both their families--it's never boring with so many people around!

Gaius Blanch

His favorite thing to watch on TV is baking shows

Unlike his semi-neurotic twin sister (his words), he's not fussed about 'life plans' or 'figuring things out'--he's just here to have a good time, eat good food, and kiss hot people.

He majored in history!

His first leather jacket was actually a hand-me-down from cousin George. Now leather jackets are his Look(TM).

Gaius's favorite cheese? Havarti.

Theodore

Theodore's programming is a meld of typical Servo programming and the programming used in caretaker androids in Sixam's crèches.

Theodore does not require sustenance, but can consume small amounts of food and drink! It is deposited into a capsule stored within his upper chest for later retrieval. He cannot taste in the traditional sense, but has sensors within his mouth that can detect temperature and chemical composition. (This also means that if he licks a rock, he can tell you what it is.)

He enjoys reading novels and is currently working his way through the Greenwich City Library's collection after reading the majority of the books in Middleground's small library.

Theo has a soft spot for dogs and would like to adopt two or three or five.

Contrary to popular thought, robots aren't that cold--Theodore runs a few degrees warmer than a Sim's usual body temperature. In addition to his cooling system, his skin is semi-permeable to let off heat (unfortunately, this can make him susceptible to water damage).

Emilio Suarez-Wolkalski

Emilio had no plan whatsoever when he moved to Applewood beyond 'idk, buy an old cabin and plant a garden'. He's done a lot of hands-on learning (and also watched a lot of SimTube videos about gardening and raising chickens).

He found his hat in a thrift store and has patched it several times

The beard’s not just an aesthetic choice--it gets pretty cold in winter in Applewood! He needs to protect his beautiful face!

His favorite food is grilled cheese, but unlike some Sims, he doesn’t get all preachy about it.

Emilio doesn’t believe in the Watcher; he’s an atheist.

[xx-meat-clown-xx]

My overall verdict is: it was cute! I had fun! Was it good? I'm not the boss! But I think maybe a little. Hope this helps.

Full thoughts below with spoilers, warning i am not sober and very sleepy

The good:

Elfman composition (despite his... situation... I'm a sucker for his work and overall vibe)

strong and cohesive visual theming and design

all of the actors played their roles well in my opinion but catherine o'hara was as usual as talented as she is beautiful (if you don't have a crush on her get help /silly) and dafoe's role was as fantastic as he is handsome. (is this getting old? should i stop announcing when I have a crush on an actor?? ... i'm going to keep doing it) keaton as beetlejuice is as silly, crude, and irresponsibly alluring as always.

I like the general vibe of the plots intermeshing in the film, I think the story about the living family was more compelling personally but i really loved delores and her aesthetic and her actress is beautiful.

the dedication to the surreal and macabre is awesome

The bad:

I'm not sure if I'm just being a hater today cause I feel icky and sleepy but the plot with the ex-wife felt... not great to me? I think it would've done better being explored in a spin off or standalone thing... As it stands, it felt like an unnecessary complication to allow them to shoehorn in a backstory. However, there's many moments that came off to me as intentional fanbait and this was probably one of them--I'm sure many people really liked this. I haven't seen any expanded media outside of the film so! YMMV.

The soundtrack felt inconsistent but I think I'm actually genuinely just being a hater on that one. (the funeral music was top tier choice though of course.)

I am not... huge on the whole thing with mr juice being fixated on lydia but i also get that her growth as a character is to stop tolerating men who want to take advantage of her... but i wonder if that should've been lydia's battle to begin with. this film, in my opinion, struggled passing the bechdel test. delores girlie i love you but you need to at least kill another woman until you pass.

i think my primary issue is that for me the plots largely didn't have a satisfying conclusion and felt kinda strung together. dafoe's role was a standout to me but i wonder if they felt he needed... more to do? maybe a cut of the film with all his good bits would've felt like "too much" without other justifying plots? i don't know, i don't know how writing works, i don't know how late stage big plot rewrites can be done-- im just thinking out loud.

finally, i think my biggest issue is that they consistently asked only if they could and not if they should. for me a lot of it hit as sort of as if they were throwing every single idea at the board and refusing to edit out anything. the pacing of the original was wacky but the pacing in this one feels very odd and disjointed as a result. in particular the wedding scene was very up and down for me lol. some bits lasted way too long but then it'd redeem itself but then wear on too long all over again lol.

final judgment:

i liked it quite a bit but i can't blame anyone who didn't like it lol. for me the second half of the film was more interesting but for others it's the other way around--which makes me question again if the plots should've been cut down to focus on resolving them in a satisfying way? idk! but the creepy-cute cartoony aspects make it worth watching on its own imo.

tl;dr: RIP bob u were a real one, I hope that the shrunken head dudes are frolicking in the fields finally free

going to see beetlejuice beetlejuice today. heard it Wasn't Good. Will update.

[lepusrufus]

Don't know if you're up for this but 👀👀👀 can we get a family bonding? Like Alcina and the girls with their maidens. 👀If you have time?

You mean headcanons (or more like canon to my au lol)? Because yes I will gladly ramble abt all of them being a big gay family

Look the girls know that Alcina loves and supports them, but they're all very much hesitant to go "hey mom I'm in love with one of our maids"

Bela being the mild exception since Laura is Donna's apprentice and Alcina already respects her by proxy but even then they wait to break the news on their own terms

Let's be honest though Alcina knows

She knows everything that goes down in her castle and just because she won't mention it doesn't mean she's not aware of it (and Dani is the epitome of lacking subtlety)

"Yeah sure Cassandra i bet you enjoy your new little lab partner and all she does in your study is mop the floor and section bodies mhmm.."

Fine you're in a relationship with a maid let's dress her in some more presentable clothes though

Alcina knows how it's like to be forced into a relationship/marriage you don't want so she would never impose such a thing on her daughters

So yeah needles to say she's supportive of their relationships

However

She does have the talk with them

Ya know, good ol "what are your intentions with my daughter" while menacingly sipping on wine

Nicole's answer goes like "with all due respect my Lady but I would rather throw myself off the tallest tower than pretend to love Cassandra"

It does take a little while for them to settle into the family rhythm especially for the maidens

You know, going from "this 3 m tall lady will cut me to ribbons if I make a mistake" to "welp guess she's my mother in law now and asks me if I'd like some wine over dinner"

Once they do settle in, they really are a big gay family

Nicole is the one that in a way keeps her "job" in the castle, while Anita is uhhhh.... idk trophy wife but male it wholesome af

Laura, who still works with Donna, is the only one not permanently staying at the castle, but it gives Bela an excuse to visit her aunt more often

They all watch Eurovision together you can't convince me otherwise

Nicole is hella confused the first time, being the only american there

Each and every one of them would strung up and torture the poor idiot who thinks hurting Anita in any way is a good idea

Mostly Daniela and Nicole

Laura: Daniela please stop plucking the flowers in the garden to give to Anita just ask me for some you're ruining the composition

Laura joins in on the classic lit reading sessions and Anita watches them reenact the scenes while laughing and occasionally making suggestions

Meanwhile Cassandra and Nicole are in a corner with the biology textbooks

Until Nicole starts quoting Dante and Cassandra groans into a pillow for 5 minutes straight

Alcina watches this unfold over her copy of Carmilla and is highly entertained

Nicole: okay so which of you would like to make the sacrifice of 1 (one) fly for me to dissect

Nicole, walking in Dani's bedroom: Anita i got you some- stop screaming it's just me- i got you some chocolate and water, good for the blood loss.

Alcina now has double the number of gremlins to keep track of and prays that nobody starts a prank war

Nicole called Alcina mom once. Accidentally. Nobody brought it up ever again

When she's not busy, Donna joins them for dinner and maybe a little walk in the forest if the weather allows for it

She's pleasantly surprised with how they all like Angie (i mean Laura likes her from the get go, but the other two are a surprise)

Nicole thinks te creep factor is hilarious and nicknames her Annabelle (after explaining the context obv)

They all gave a gool ol' murderous time like the evil cultish family they are yay

[almightyhamslice]

Crash Bandicoot Worlds gals! I think they’d fit nicely into the Tawnaverse, since they obvs haven’t been considered for the main universe since... well, Crash Bandicoot Worlds got reworked lol! So, they’re dead in the main universe. I guess that’s like a tradeoff for Crash n Coco being dead in the Tawnaverse? idk...

Anyways, the N on Quoco’s head is a mind control device that also causes the strange discoloration in her scleras. I figured that since Quoco’s description left a little to be desired, I made a few changes so she’d be easier to distinguish from Coco! So she has a streak in her hair (idk if I want it to be black or periwinkle tbh), a bent ear, and part of her tail has been cut off, so it appears blunt. 

Reo isn’t intended to be an alternate universe counterpart to Nina, she’s actually quite a bit older (close to Crash or Tawna’s age) and is DEFINITELY Cortex’s daughter. Her right eye is mechanized, she can fire lasers from it & use it as a flashlight in the dark. It also has scan & X-ray functions, but these only work if she closes her other eye. She’s not particularly fashion conscious & just kind of throws together individual outfit parts that look cool, without consideration for the whole look. I think she can pull it off!! lol

Anyways, I did also toy with the idea of reworking Elli-Mental as well, but I’m still thinking about it & trying to figure out how to draw her correctly. I like to think she can actually shift the elemental states her body is made up of & she doesn’t always have, say, fire hair & a water dress, she could have stone hair & a cloud dress if she wanted to. She can probs also change the composition of her actual body, but I think she uses wood/earth because it’s solid. But anyways, that’ll be for another day.

[btsmosphere]

Hellooo im new to your blog but i think i had seen you a couple of times? Maybe?? Maybe not?? I cant remember But congratulations for your 400 followers! I saw this milestone drabble game and idk if you already close the request but im just going to try shooting my shot. you can ignore this ask if you dont want to do it. Im not forcing you!💜💜

Prompt 27, and 31 (fluff)

Where jimin and f!reader were the only ones trapped inside a library and the lights went off. Reader scared of the dark so she clings on jm and he tried his best to comfort her and goof around making some (bad) jokes to lighten her up. Plus jm had a big fat crush on her.

~summary: being trapped in the library is your nightmare, but could it turn into a dream? Jimin x reader Prompts: …that… is such a bad pun. I love it & I will be unavailable on these dates because I will be screaming feral in the woods ~word count: 1156 ~college au, friends to lovers, fluff Rating: g Warnings: crying, reader is scared of the dark, and it’s dark, locked in, Jimin suffers (not really, he’s just flustered) ~a/n: haha,, drabble?? who is she? this one obvs got a bit.. long😅but I really liked your request my lovely, so I wanted to do it justice. I really hope you enjoy it!

Air was jamming in your throat, the only sound except your soft footsteps echoing alone in the darkness.

But the silence was making things worse. Your tense shoulders shook, ready to flinch back from every shadow – of which, unfortunately, there were a great many, given you were tiptoeing between rows upon rows of towering bookshelves.

Cursing the fact the route to the library’s exit took you further from the windows, where meagre streetlamps at least illuminated the space a little, you pressed on.

Don’t panic. Nothing can hurt you. You’re alone, there’s nothing there…

One more corner lay ahead of you, but you refused to slow down, attempting instead to keep your stride confident as you came towards it-

And straight into someone. Not a shadow, not a bookshelf, a real, actual someone that you nearly crashed right into. With a jolt, you were stumbling back, sending a scream piercing through the stillness.

“Woah, hey- y/n?”

As you cut off your shriek, the person’s voice reached you. You were sure you recognised it, but the tears that had been startled to your eyes blurred your vision. Blinking furiously, you lowered your shaking hands from where they had shot to your mouth.

“J-Jimin?”

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” his worried eyes swam into focus, “did you get stuck here too?”

With only a nod, you were diving towards him, clutching at his shirt as you took deep breaths against his shoulder. Jimin may not be your closest friend, but you knew him well enough, and right now you needed someone, anyone, to ease your fears.

Under your touch though, Jimin gasped. Though he didn’t hesitate to move his hands to your back in comfort, his eyes were wide with shock.

He was sure his heart was going to rocket straight from his chest. Of course, when he fantasised about you throwing yourself into his arms, you weren’t normally shaking with fear, but he supposed he couldn’t have it all.

“It’s alright, I’m here,” he hushed, sliding you both to the floor, “there’s nothing to be scared of.”

Breathing deeper now, he was satisfied hearing you settle down some more.

“Well, unless the head librarian sees me in here,” he rambled on, fingers stroking through your hair, “I lost a library book once and I’m sure she still wants to murder me.”

You couldn’t help the small chuckle he elicited from you. On looking up, you found him looking down at you with a growing grin.

“She is scary,” you nodded, wiping at one eye.

Jimin definitely preferred it when you smiled. Even a small one like this put his heart more at ease. Encouraged, he pressed on.

“But if she is here, at least she’ll scare off any monsters,” he nudged you, rewarded with your smile becoming brighter still.

“Should we… should we try and get help?” you muttered next, glancing down your original path towards the front of the library.

“Good idea,” he stood, holding out a hand to pull you up too. A moment later, he was pulling you forwards, eyes wide.

“Jimin, what-?”

“Stay close,” he whispered dramatically, “lest we encounter the soul of a student who died of boredom here.”

Snorting, you pressed the back of your hand across your mouth and began to follow him. Somehow, the darkness seemed less scary with him beside you, less oppressive with a hand clutched in yours.

Before long, the front doors came in sight. They were automatic, and though you were still disappointed, you couldn’t say it was a shock when you stood in front of them and they didn’t budge. There were no handles to pull, but that didn’t stop Jimin trying to pry them apart somehow with his bare hands.

When you had recovered from laughing at him, your eyes drifted to the front desk.

“Hey, Jimin!” you cried, dashing over, “they have a helpline, right? Maybe we could reach security?”

Joining your side, Jimin was just in time to see you press your phone against your ear, having dialled one of the numbers displayed on a poster by the desk.

Foot tapping as you waited for the beeping tone to give way to another human, your heart dropped instead. Not far away, the ringing of a phone blared through the silence. Sighing, you began to drop your hand when the tone cut off.

“Hello?”

You rolled your eyes at the voice greeting you. Jimin.

A look up showed him standing behind the desk, receiver to his ear. He grinned, and the next thing you heard, he was talking once again.

“Sorry. I’m going to have to book your rescue in for another day.”

Stifling a laugh, you held his gaze and shook your head.

“…That… is a such a bad pun. I love it.”

With both your laughter mixing in the air, Jimin hung up and returned. Folding his arms on the desk, he grimaced, realising there wasn’t really a way out.

“What now?” he looked up at you.

Sighing, you turned, sliding your back down the wall to meet the floor.

“I guess we stay here.”

“I guess,” he echoed your heavy exhale, wandering around the table.

“Don’t just stand there,” you reached your arms out, “I might be scared. Come here and give me a cuddle.”

It was clear you weren’t exactly frightened anymore, if the grin on your face was anything to go by, but Jimin gladly obliged. He couldn’t believe his luck.

Tucking yourself in his arms, you curled up happily, while he worried about his heart giving out.

“I’m glad you’re here, Jimin,” you whispered into the night.

This was it for him. His heart was going to fail if you looked at him like that much longer, your eyes still gorgeous even among the dim light.

Just as he floundered for a response, seemingly struck dumb at such close quarters to you, his phone buzzed.

Briefly checking it, he chuckled.

“It’s just Taehyung.”

“Oh no,” you groaned, “we were all meant to be having a movie night at his tonight.”

“Nah, he’s the one missing out,” Jimin grinned, “we can raid the library’s film collection. I’ve always wanted to watch… what was it- A Studied History of Composite Rocks?”

Instantly bursting into reams of laughter beside him, you felt tears brimming again, of course for a different reason this time around. Jimin couldn’t help but join in, eyes fixed on your joy-filled face.

Still smirking to himself, he reached to quickly text Tae back.

Sorry, me and yn are stuck in the library

But if we ever do get out, I will be unavailable tonight because I will be screaming feral in the woods

Tae was surely dying of laughter on the other side. It was certain all your friends would know about this by tomorrow.

A reply lit up his screen.

I’m sure you will be ;)

I wouldn’t dare disturb you. Have fun lovebirds

Thank you so much for reading, and @jookiemonie for your request!

Check out my other drabbles here

Taglist: @aianloveseven @preciouschimine @kb-bangtanenthusiast  @ttaechwita 

[jackrrabbit]

practice makes perfect /// Mitsuri x f!Reader (18+)

Request: Hey! I read your Shinobu NSFW thing. I was wondering if you could write a Mitsuri NSFW thing but not as intense? Like Mitsuri and her female S/o are cuddling and things get a really steamy so they start kissing and fingering each other? Please and thank you!

A/N: REPOSTING because when I posted this a few hours ago it was glitching and not showing up in tags and stuff :( sorry to anyone who has already seen it!

I love Mitsuri and I get so few f/f reqs so ty for the request 💕 Y’all know idk how to write true vanilla so this is a little more spicy (Mitsuri and reader are not in an established relationship), but I made it soft just for you anon

Summary: When the most popular girl in school offers to help you practice kissing, it’s not like you’re going to say no.

Tags/warnings: inexperienced reader, femme preppy Mitsuri, she’s a little soft dom? like just a tiny bit, mild orgasm control, fluffy smut, crushes, modern high school AU, heteronormativity, reader thinks she’s straight lmao, all characters are adults

Okay, Mitsuri isn’t just the queen bee of your school. She’s also the prettiest girl you’ve ever met. It shouldn’t be possible for a person to be that beautiful, much less fair—what was god thinking when he gave her that pink and green hair that would look clownish on anyone but her? Those thick, dark eyelashes framing eyes you feel like you could drown in? Those long, perfect legs?

(Not that you stare at her legs or something. It’s just—your school uniform skirts are kind of short, and she always wears those striped thigh-highs, and she sits next to you in senior Biology and sometimes she stretches her legs out in the aisle between your desks and flexes them while she sighs during long lectures, and seriously, her legs are perfect.)

Mitsuri is the kind of girl who gets asked out by a different guy every other day. She has a fan club. Boys write Mr. _____ Kanroji in their notebooks, circle it with hearts, and fantasize about marrying her. She has more ex-boyfriends than you have Facebook friends. So you’re really sure why, somehow, you two have become…close?

If you have to, you can trace your friendship back to that Biology class. The teacher has a bad habit of cold-calling students for answers to questions, which makes him pretty unpopular. You’ve gotten used to it over the months, deciding that rebelling is a less productive method of dealing with it than just making sure to review the textbook chapters at least twice before every class, but apparently Mitsuri isn’t quite as familiar with the material.

When the teacher calls on her (a bit vindictively, you think, probably because she’s chewing pink bubblegum and drawing cherry blossoms in the composition book she’s supposed to be taking notes in) to ask her something about determining whether an organism’s life cycle exhibits zygotic, gametic, or sporic meiosis, she just gapes blankly back at him.

You feel sorry for her. It’s always painful to watch when someone can’t answer a question in class—you might be a fairly good student, but you still sympathize with how embarrassing it is to be put on the spot like that. The teacher refuses to move on, repeating her name and prodding her until her face is flushed bright pink and her lower lip is trembling. You’re not trying to pity her, but you can’t help it, and before you can think better of it you’re writing ‘compare diploid and haploid forms’ in the corner of your notebook and surreptitiously sliding it her way.

After the class, she pulls you aside in the hallway to thank you, eyes bright, telling you you’re so smart and kind and thoughtful and wondering how come she’s never talked to you before. “What a waste! We sat next to each other all semester, and I’m only getting to know you now.”

No wonder she’s popular. Her exuberance is infectious, like her good mood is seeping into your skin from her hand wrapped around yours. Mitsuri isn’t just pretty, she’s the kind of person who makes you feel good about herself just by being near her.

You’re about 100% sure that’s the last time the two of you will talk (unless she needs help with Bio homework and decides you’re the best candidate to get answers from). But it’s not. Mitsuri insists on treating you to boba after class—you try to deny her but she refuses to hear it and you can’t say no to her when she looks at you with those pretty jade-chip eyes. You get milk tea with black tapioca pearls swimming in caramelized fried sugar; her drink is jasmine rose fruit tea with tiny cubes of green apple floating at the top. “It looks like your hair,” you tell her, motioning toward the pink-and-green drink.

“Really?” Mitsuri’s cheeks turn red, which you notice is a frequent occurrence for her. “That’s why I got it. Isn’t it cute? I love how pretty all of the drinks are at this teahouse.”

The two of you split a little matcha cake. And then a vanilla taro cake. And then Mitsuri orders sweet potato fries and gyoza and fried chicken and shrimp tempura and wow, this girl can eat. “I kind of have a big appetite,” she tells you shyly some time around her fourth order of hanami dango. “Sorry, is it weird?”

“Not at all! It’s cute,” you blurt out, and then immediately cover your mouth. Cute? Where did that come from? That’s not the kind of thing you’re supposed to be saying to a girl you barely even know, or is it? Maybe you’re overthinking this. Mitsuri is so beautiful it’s hard to think straight around her.

You’re so busy staring down at your lap and blushing that you don’t notice she’s doing the same thing.

Mitsuri seems to take that teashop date hangout as permission to pursue a full-fledged friendship with you. Before you know it, she’s inviting herself over to your house after school, dragging you to cafés and picnics to study together on the weekends, and begging you to sit with her at lunch. Her other friends don’t seem thrilled at your being her favorite new playmate, but she doesn’t mind it so you try not to, either.

Like right now. It’s a weekend, and she’s decided that her house is going to be the setting for an overnight Bio study session slash sleepover in anticipation of the test you have coming up. You’re scouring the textbook for an answer at her desk while Mitsuri lies on her stomach on her bed with her feet kicked up behind her and crossed at the ankles. Graded quizzes are spread out in an arc around her on the cotton candy-colored duvet, and the sparkly gel pen she’s using to write flash cards is poking out of the corner of her mouth. With her fair skin barely covered by a tank top and shorts, loose hair flowing over her back, and dark brows furrowed in concentration, she looks like the centerfold of a teen magazine from the 90s.

I bet guys have wet dreams about her, you think. Then you shut down that line of thinking, shut it all the way down because you’re not supposed to be thinking these things about a female friend, no matter how pretty she is or how glossy her lips look even though she’s just wearing chapstick or how good she smells (like strawberries? honey? or whatever sweet she ate last, you’re not sure). But you can’t quite tamp down the feeling that you’ve stumbled on some unbelievable luck to get close to her.

You’re not the only one having trouble focusing on your studies. “I’m done with this!” Mitsuri exclaims, throwing down her pen so it makes a stray line on the quiz she was reviewing before it bounces off the bed. “I’m so tired of studying, aren’t you? If I learn another thing about cell division my brain is going to explode. Can’t we take a break?”

“Sure, if you want to get another 43%. Didn’t your dad say he’s going to stop paying your snack food fund if you fail one more exam?”

Her pink mouth drops open. “Hey! That’s not fair, I didn’t tell you that to use it against me. Be nice.”

But after a second, Mitsuri’s pout turns into a giggle. She hooks her foot around the stem of the office chair you’re sitting in and pulls it toward the bed along with you. “Come on! Let’s talk about love. Do you have a crush?”

You roll your eyes but relent, sliding off the chair and onto the big, fluffy bed next to Mitsuri. You can always get back to reviewing after you take a short break, right? She gathers up the quizzes and notecards and dumps them unceremoniously on the nightstand by her bed to make space for you, all too eager to stop thinking about Bio.

“I don’t have a crush,” you tell her.

“Really? There’s no one you think is cute? No one you want to get to know a little better?”

Well…if that’s what she means… You glance sideways at her. There’s definitely someone you think is cute who you want to get to know better. She doesn’t have to know it’s her—not that you have a crush on her; that would be ridiculous.

If she’s going to get that excited about your potential crush, how are you supposed to tell her you don’t have one? You’ll just have to pretend, for her sake. “I guess there’s someone. I wouldn’t call it love, but…”

Long black lashes flutter up at you as Mitsuri blinks. “Oh my gosh, who is it?”

“It’s a secret,” you say quickly.

“Aww, but I wanna know who you have a crush on!” She scooches closer to you and pokes you gently in the side. “Do I know him? Is he a senior? What does he look like? What do you like about him?”

“Um yeah, you know…him. He’s a senior but you’ll never—seriously never guess who it is, so don’t even try. He’s…really good-looking, I don’t know. He has nice hair…and, um, nice legs. And he…” you trail off, wondering what you can say about your secret ‘crush’ that won’t tip Mitsuri off that you’re talking about her.

“…I like him. He talks a lot but you can tell he cares about what you’re saying when he’s listening to you. He’s kind of dreamy and self-conscious about dumb things but it just makes me like him more.”

Was that too much? Mitsuri is looking into your eyes in pure rapture, holding onto every word you say. Are you being obvious? But—no way. She’s so loved by guys that she’d never even suspect that a girl could like her too.

Not that you like her. Not like that, at least.

After a moment when you feel your heart beating so deeply that you’re sure she can hear it too, she smiles sweetly and pinches your cheek. “You’re really pretty when you’re talking about your crush, (Y/N). You look like a maiden.”

You bite your lip, not sure whether to be embarrassed or flattered. If any other girl as beautiful as Mitsuri called you pretty, you’d think they were being insincere, but she’s not like that. Her genuine affection shines through in everything she does. If you’re pretty, she’s Helen of Troy.

“What do you mean, ‘a maiden’?” you ask.

“I don’t know,” Mitsuri says, tracing invisible hearts into her bedspread with a fingertip. “You just look…innocent somehow? Like this is your first love.”

You duck down, blushing.

“Wait, really?” She sits up and easily flips you over onto your back (sometimes you forget that a decade of cheerleading has made her at least a dozen times as strong as you are) so she can blink brightly at you. “This is your first love? Ooh…”

“Is that so weird?” you ask a little defensively. “I don’t get a lot of crushes.”

“No, it’s not weird! It’s cute,” Mitsuri says. “But aren’t you nervous? What if you fall in love with him and you guys start dating and you don’t know how to do anything?”

“Do what?”

“You know. Like, kissing and stuff. Aren’t you worried that you’ll have your first kiss with him and he’ll be like, ‘oh my gosh, you can’t even kiss, I don’t like you anymore’.”

“No one would say that,” you reply, but the scenario does strike a pang of anxiousness in your heart. You’ve always been too focused on school and friends and family to bother worrying about love, but the truth is you have worried about the fact that you’re soon going to be a high school graduate who has never so much as kissed another person on the lips.

“You have no idea,” Mitsuri sighs. “Boys are so mean. But I can’t believe you haven’t had your first kiss!”

“That’s rude,” you say, wrinkling your nose.

She flaps her hands in the air frantically. “No, no I didn’t mean it like that! Sorry! I just meant I can’t believe you’ve never had a boyfriend when you’re so pretty and nice. The boy who locks you down is going to feel super lucky that he gets to take all of your firsts.”

You sit up next to Mitsuri and lean back on her cushioned headboard. “I don’t care about that. Honestly, I’d rather have some practice before I get involved with anyone.”

A beat passes. Then— “Really? You want practice?”

You shrug. “I mean, I guess? But it’s not like I can just pick up some random guy and tell him to let me practice kissing.”

Mitsuri cocks her head to the side and long pink fringe falls away from her face. “You don’t need to do that. Just practice with me.”

“Huh? What do you mean?” What, is she going to give you tips on tongue technique or something?

“…Like this,” Mitsuri says softly—and then her delicate hand is stroking up the side of your jaw and carding into your hair, tilting your head to face hers and pulling you closer. She hesitates before she makes contact, looking in your eyes as if to confirm are you okay with this? But (maybe because you’re caught off guard, maybe because you think you do need the practice, or maybe because that angelic strawberry-honey smell is way too intoxicating up close) you don’t stop her, and she leans in and completes the kiss.

It’s soft. Smells sweet. Tastes sweeter.

Mitsuri’s lips are velvety and glossy-damp moving against yours. The scent you thought was honey is really honeysuckle—there’s a fresh floral quality to the taste as her lip balm is transferred from her mouth to yours.

The kiss only lasts a few seconds, but by the time she lifts back from you your lips are tingling. You cover your mouth with your hand like a damsel from a Victorian-era novel and stare wide-eyed at her.

“How was that? Your first kiss?”

“I—um, I liked it I think?”

Mitsuri smiles at you and it’s like a ray of sunlight falling down through a break in the clouds. “Yay! I’m glad.”

The two of you sit in silence for a second, and you wonder what you’re supposed to do now. Go back to studying? You’re not sure you’re capable of that when you feel like she’s…still kissing you. It hasn’t quite hit you yet that this is your first kiss—something special, something you’ll never forget. The feeling of Mitsuri kissing you is going to be written on your heart for the rest of your life.

What have I done? you think, but it’s not condemnatory. It’s a question, maybe neutral, maybe hopeful.

“Come on, come here,” Mitsuri says. “You need a little more practice.”

And then she’s kissing you again, all the while pulling you closer, closer, into her lap. She breaks the kiss just long enough to murmur to you to open your mouth. When you do, her tongue slips in, prodding gently between your lips and sliding up against yours. It’s a weird feeling—you can’t say with certainty that it feels good, but it doesn’t feel bad, either. It feels like something you could get used to.

This kiss is longer and deeper, and Mitsuri is sighing into the place where your lips meet. The kissing sounds are both embarrassing and thrilling. You can hardly believe that you’re actually doing this, kissing Mitsuri Kanroji in her bedroom and sitting in her lap with your thighs hovering over hers because you’re scared to let yourself press any deeper into her.

By the fourth kiss, you think you’re getting the hang of this. Your fingers are laced in Mitsuri’s hair, pulling her bangs out of the way so you can see her face clearly. Her eyes are hazy and intense, a warm glow suffusing her cheeks, and her lips are reddened. The feeling of not knowing whether you like having her tongue in your mouth or not is gone. You like it. You want more of it. You could do this all day.

…But apparently Mitsuri has something else in mind. She moves back and looks at you like she’s got a secret she’s dying to tell you. Her hands slide up your thighs, almost reaching the hem of the skirt you’re wearing—it’s knee-length, comfortable and practical for the weather—but with your legs spread over hers, the fabric is bunched up at the juncture of your hips and legs, exposing your thighs to view. Mitsuri’s fingernails (manicured, short blunt French tips, pale pink with stripes of gold near the nail bed) scratch painlessly into your skin. “You learn really fast, (Y/N).”

“Thanks…” you pant out.

“Can I do a little more? Just a little. ‘Cause, I mean, I don’t know if you’ve ever done this yourself—”

Oh. Oh? Mitsuri’s hand is creeping up under your skirt.

“—but it’s really good to have some experience with this, too, before you do anything with boys.”

She’s touching your pussy through your underwear. Those pretty manicured hands are stroking you through the fabric, fingertips sliding up between your lips with practiced precision. Oh god, can she feel how wet you are? You’ve felt that dewy heat growing at your core for a while, but you didn’t think she would touch you and feel it. “Mitsuri?”

“Are you already wet?” Two soft fingers pet your clit, moving over it side to side through your panties. “Did you get wet for me?”

“Mm—mm—Mitsuri…”

“Can I touch?” She pops her chin up and kisses you on the cheek, and then again on the other cheek, the side of your mouth, your forehead, all the while rubbing your pussy.

On the sixth teasing little kiss, you gasp and kiss her fully on the lips. “…okay?”

“Good…” Mitsuri smoothly pushes your ass up so she can hook fingers under the waistband of your panties and tug them down past your hips. You shift and let her do it—it feels like her touch is too hot, sending trails of warmth over every place where your skin meets. Her touch lingers even as you awkwardly straighten out of her lap for just as long as it takes to remove your panties and deposit them gracelessly on the floor.

Are you doing this right? Even with your shirt and skirt on, you feel more exposed than you’ve ever been in front of another person. You’ve never done anything remotely like this before—how weird is it that the first person to touch you is going to be a female friend? That you’re not doing this for the right reasons (and what are the ‘right reasons’? love? intimacy? desire?), but for practice?

Mitsuri settles you back onto her lap and slowly drags your shirt up over your bra. When the undergarment is exposed, she bites her bottom lip and sucks in a breath, and you feel eternally grateful that you, by some coincidence or trick of fate, decided to wear one of your nicer bras today. She cups the side of your breasts and runs her thumbs over the lacy wine-red fabric. “Beautiful…you’re so sexy, (Y/N). I can’t believe I get you all to myself.”

Your cheeks feel hot. Maybe desire is part of the equation after all.

Leaving your shirt bunched up over your tits, Mitsuri returns to your pussy, petting over your thighs and stroking up your mound. Her index finger dabs into the wetness leaking out of you and then circles around your clit.

Around your clit, not on it. If you didn’t know better, you’d think she’s deliberately not touching the place where you want— need to be touched. Her fingers are light and fluttery, not forceful in the least but making you crave more anyway. You try not to let your hips move, but before long you’re twitching on her fingers, trying to get her to do what you want. Your hands are braced uselessly on the headboard, but you hesitantly pick up your right hand to replace hers and touch your clit properly.

She isn’t having it. Her free hand catches yours before you can do anything. “Arms around my neck,” she tells you.

It’s frustrating to be unable to touch yourself when she just keeps building and building with these little flutters, but you trust her. Mitsuri’s a lot more experienced than you are. Slowly, you wrap your arms around her neck and wind your fingers into her loose hair.

Whatever she’s doing, though, it’s working. Even if you couldn’t feel how wet you are, you’d be able to hear it, the slick sucking sounds of your cunt dampened with your arousal. You’d be humiliated by the way it’s so obvious that you’re turned on if you were cable of thinking straight. Besides, Mitsuri doesn’t mind—at least not judging by the way she’s looking at you.

“Mitsuri…Mitsuri, can you…” You don’t know how to ask her, but you need more.

“Tell me what you want me to do.” Two fingers brush over your clit again and you almost flinch, the light contact sending a spark directly through you. “Tell me what you do when you do this by yourself.”

“I…um…it’s embarrassing…”

“It’s not embarrassing.” Mitsuri lays a short peck on your cheek. “Do you know how pretty you look? I could fall in love with you right now.”

It’s not serious. It’s just the kind of thing Mitsuri says without thinking, but your heart skips a beat anyway. “Touch—a little harder…”

“Where?”

“You know where!” you tell Mitsuri, with as much bite as you can muster.

Mitsuri smiles. “Here?” She pushes a finger into your pussy and you whimper. “Or…here?”

And she’s touching your clit, rubbing over it quickly and franticly, the first direct contact you’ve had since she started. The muscles in your back tense, legs stiffening, toes curling in your fluffy white socks. “Oh— oh, oh, oh— Mitsuri…”

“Does that feel good?”

After all her teasing, it feels more than good. It’s like you’re being filled up with something, some kind of heat that her fingers are bringing out in you, and it’s about to tip over and spill out. You rock your cunt against her fingers, trying to get her to go harder—but she’s already rubbing against you so quickly that you can’t think straight.

Two fingers slip deeper into your pussy, spreading you apart and pumping your slick cunt while her palm provides sloppy stimulation to your clit. You mewl and fall forward onto her, head thrown over her shoulder, so you can feel the vibration of her soft laughter in your chest. “Do you like it? I can tell…you know, your insides are holding me really tight….”

How does she say such dirty things with that pretty mouth? You’d tell her off if you thought you could speak without moaning. “Unff…mmm…”

“I’m going to make you cum, baby,” Mitsuri hums. “You’re going to cum on my fingers, okay?”

She’s right. You’re about to tip over that edge, overflow, get off with Mitsuri fucking you with two fingers twisting and hitting your g-spot and sliding over you so deliciously that you don’t even care that all of this is wrong. “I’m— I’m cumming—“

“Uh-uh.” Mitsuri’s hand stops, still touching but no longer moving, and the heat in your pussy plateaus and then dips.

You’re so frustrated you want to scream. “Mitsuri…!”

“Can you do something for me?” She resumes the teasing movements from before, edging over your clit but not finishing it. “Tell me who you really like.”

“What?”

“I know you like me.” Her free hand, around your waist, slides up and presses her thumb into the divot between two vertebrae in your spine. “When you were talking about your crush, I know it’s me. Tell me you like me.”

“I—I don’t—“

“No, you do. You like me. Say it. Say it, and I’ll let you cum. You want to cum, don’t you? You need it? I’m going to give you what you need, so tell me you like me…”

It’s not like she’s being cruel. Mitsuri’s tone is as sweet and kind and caring as ever. Her pace is agonizingly slow and she’s right, you need it. You’re lucky your chin is resting on her shoulder because you wouldn’t be able to stand it if she saw the look on your face as you choke out, “I like…I like you, Mitsuri! I like you!”

“I like you too, (Y/N),” Mitsuri gasps, and then her fingers are moving again, rubbing your clit, making you crazy, and it’s only a second but you want it so bad that you only need a second before you— you’re— you’re falling apart—

“Mitsuri!”

Oh god. Oh god. It feels good, it feels crazy. You can’t think. You can feel the muscles in your pussy squeezing down intermittently on her fingers. She holds you still as the shocks race up through you, letting you twitch and convulse in her arms.

“See now, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Mitsuri sings in your ear.

It takes you a long moment to get the strength to sit up, flopping bonelessly backward on her thighs so you can look her in the eye. “I don’t know,” you sigh finally. “Wasn’t exactly easy.”

Her eyes close when she smiles. “Don’t worry about it. You just need a little more practice.”

[darkfinch]

Okay, I have no idea if this loses me Quinn points but The Con Job (somehow autocorrect thinks con is Avon, somEHOW) is freaking great. It’s so dumb and horrible but I really just love the Chaos scenes.

First, at a TNG party no one mistakes him for Wil Wheaton??? Like how??? He is exactly face matchy for WW. FACE MATCHY. He’s literally the personification of the hate fanboys had for WW back in the 80’s.

Actual firstly, event wise, he tries to pick up Parker (and Sophie?? It’s been at least a year since I read this) to take her to W00TSTOCK. Which is hosted/run by WW who Chaos has a fanboy crush on. He damn near admits it! Somehow I feel that Chaos is pro clone coitus. Idk why, I have the feeling!

Thirdly, which would be second had I not remembered the other thing, Chaos larp fights Eliot. I shall beat the Eliot in a fight with my foam sword because I am the expert (fun points because his mental dialogue said expert in an outrageously terrible french accent). He loses. Also they do the Monty python arm thingy but there’s no blood.

Fourthly(?), someone (Nate? Eliot?) says that Chaos has a crush on Hardison and Chaos does not??? deny. And then they throw him in the water. It seems that just like technology, water is his nemesis. This human shaped organic product (only in composition, not care because he grows himself hydroponically with cherry squeeze and whatever coffee he had in the last dam job, honestly I don’t think he even drank it he just bought it so he could sit there and steal people’s info off the bad coffee shop WiFi) does not deserve the water wings. The mini floaty orange monstrosities that make you feel like a sad duck while also having terrible tan lines. Those water wings.

I believe that is all of the Chaos? Have I missed a crumb? Help I have thoughts about this!!!!! Why I have thoughts about neck beard hacker man?? WHY?????

hfjdhksgg IM GLAD SOMEONE ENJOYED IT but also hhhhh dont go where i can't follow.....my thoughts on chaos are truly just *quinn voice* can i hit him. i wish i could find enjoyment in him but i just can't im sorry pal

there are no quinn points to lose but tragically i cannot celebrate the chaos content with u and join u in ur joy as u deserve :(

[legionofpotatoes]

alright here’s ma thoughts on that flick I mentioned

we hatewatched a*my of the dead because we were CONVINCED “zombies in las vegas” would be an impossible concept to screw up, but in so assuming we obviously invoked a holy wager with the universe and got reminded, once again, that hoping for improvement from someone who’s dependably put out bad art is never a wise choice 😐

but we were honestly kinda roped in by the marketing??? and expected a goofy fast-paced flick with the odd traditional undead metaphor thrown in, framing some sort of relationship drama maybe or hell even nothing at all! we’d have taken pure indulgent storytelling, idk italian job with zombies in las vegas, I don’t know fucking anything but??? whatever this was???? spoilers below for it is time for One Of My Rants

I mean the main reason I really want to write all this and complain. this film here probably has the most unappealing cinematography I have ever experienced in my life and that is saying something. who the fuck signed off on that CONSTANT shallow-ass depth of field that imprisons your eyeline and turns every shot into bokeh paste???? and I mean every shot almost!!!! I promise if you think I am overreacting just throw a dart at the seek bar and watch twenty seconds from wherever it lands. it is horrifying to look at. at least it gave my girlfriend a good visual shorthand for what it’s like when I lose my glasses

why was sean spicer in this movie. did they pay him to be here. was sean spicer paid hollywood money for his scene in this film because fuck everyone who was involved in that decision

the legitimately baffling hints at the extraterrestrial origins of the infection that went absolutely nowhere and had no dramatic or plot-level bearing. we love to see the franchise sprouts fellas

yet another big budget waste of everything hiroyuki sanada has to offer. and bautista too I guess? I like him but man was this an odd career move

what was the crux of his conflict/resolution with his daughter btw. I understand it was rooted in miscommunication over their forms of grief irt mom but uhh… it was all rather clunky and didn’t land for me. I tried I really tried to buy in but something was wrong fundamentally with the groundwork there, it did not click and their catharsis felt unearned. I know there’s massive amounts of tragic baggage being projected there from the author so I’m not slapping any judgment down really;

but again it would be an easy thing to wave off if they just had a vibrant cast of lovable simpletons with good chemistry and the kinetic sense of plotting the trailers promised (and this premise never discounts good drama, either). but instead it was just two and a half (!) hours of meandering into situations the filmmaking instincts had no idea how to flow in and out of

to wit. I know talking about “bad pacing” is associated with armchair bullshit but consider the example of the scene were dieter does an out of nowhere little dance after childishly screaming but then still-killing a zombie, with the film framing this as a micro character triumph, and not a second later the bg soundtrack instantly fades into an orchestral score dramatizing a nearby mcguffin reveal, completely 180 degreeing the tone without a semblance of deft insert shot stitching or even I dont know a fucking jump cut maybe. now imagine this whiplash for 2.5 hrs uninterrupted

I will keep complaining about the length yeah because this was not a story requiring this much real estate to be told. Uhh in my humble and personal opinion, of course

[man sees zombie tiger] “this is crossing the line!” you can in fact write dialogue that is not utter nonsense that falls apart once you drill down its single fickle layer of referential meta winking. what line are you talking about. you have rules in this insane situation you’re in? total nitpick moment I know but it got burned in my brain for some reason. like a microcosm of the mismanaged dramatic instincts paired with weird writing that dots this movie. I am sure the director calls this either satire or genre deconstruction. I am SO sure

tumblr domino meme that goes from “dude getting sucked off while driving” to “entire las vegas literally nuked”

tig notaro is always great to see but once you know she’s been filmed as a separate greenscreen plate months after photography wrapped - cause she had to apparently replace some abusive asshole but that’s a whole other pig not worth fucking - it becomes impossible to unsee her odd detachment from everyone else in the movie lmao. it doesn’t really “ruin” anything on its lonesome but it is hard to unsee

why. was. sean. spicer. in. this. movie

a very simple key ingredient missing from fully turning lip service sympathy for main uruk hai dude into actual empathy that would generate meaningful conflict with hero family would be to spend a bit more time articulating what he internally wanted the most. because he was obviously trying to do something here with pointed agenda. a family, to have kids, build a caste system, save his wife’s head, return to his planet??? all of these could represent the bigger context in his psychology that spurred his vengeance but none of them are dramatically emphasized long enough for you to cheer him on. I’m not asking too much I promise. Articulating interiority of a mute character is pretty doable with deft cinema language, just gotta linger and hold a shot here and there for a few seconds, frame as his POV, donezo. I know this is also one of those like. “who cares” moments but the movie does, very evidently so, in making this guy an actual character. you can kinda piece it together and create a framework of sympathy for him, sure, but then again he ultimately becomes a foil to be killed and not defeated, so. Ehh whatever

quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was n

the rooftop helicopter fakout at the end was such an ass-backwards, manufactured moment of what could be a simple setup/payoff it just pissed me off??? you gain nothing by giving sad dad five seconds of pointless crisis that flips right back to previous status quo ANYWAY, except for a weaksauce waste of runtime, which could be used instead to get inside notaro’s head and actually SHOW the remorse form as she took off, literally maybe even a frown playing on her face as she’s headed for safety right before we cut back to drax and the kid. just a simple-ass, minimal, momentary setup for what is the most basic filmmaking trick of creating macro catharsis moments. Just???? g o d if you can’t even land that shit why are you even doing any of this

that lil run final pam did was very very charming and super choreographed in a way that was the tiiiniest bit overdone

the whole intro with the simul-backstories and posing with family photos was just… oddly motivated. what was the goal? “here’s what we’re fighting for” vignettes? why? it’s not a functional setup in that vein. what was all that

also I am sorry if this is insensitive but the reasons most characters end up articulating to justify going back into the hell that destroyed their lives makes them sound seriously insane

I dont like complaining about CGI (honestly) but so much of it in modern movies can achieve higher fidelity if the animation is simply subdued. Do not overengineer and over-apply 2D cell methodologies and kinematics to each tiny twitch and movement in a hyper 3D model and I promise you. it will look a thousand times more natural. look at thanos in those last two movies. your rendering and detail are absolutely perfect with the tiger you just have to let stuff sit instead of constantly simulating swaying hair strands and firing off all facial muscles at once. great moment at one point where makeup zombie horse and CG zombie tiger are both in one shot together and just by unnecessary amounts of movement alone you can tell who doesn’t belong. again; detail, rendering, compositing, lighting, all picture-perfect; but y’all just gotta let the animation breathe sometimes, and chill it out

plot holes don’t really matter to me but it was kinda funny how lilly decided not to mention the enormous wrinkle in intel pertaining to an actual territorial tribe of intelligent zombies that require human offerings to let you pass, just so that reveal could play out in real time through the joyous punishment of the cartoonishly misogynistic dude

total chad move for mister uruk hai and final pam to rule from a rusted swimming pool complex

the ending with vanderohe oh my god. with the. cash stacks at the airport register. and specifically them working in his favor. that is literally something you do to get arrested under suspicion of theft. it was almost played for laughs and I respect that. coulda been goofier. make these movies goofy ya dorks

anyway, weird, weird movie. bad marketing. message unclear (something something sins of the father???), baffling editing instincts, literal worst-looking cinematography I ever laid eyes upon. Confidently dying on that last hill