#throwing in my little opinion of everyone needs a refresh on what abuse is

[felucians]

With the news coming out on Wilbur Soot, a lot of people need to learn - or relearn - the signs of abuse before it gets to physical abuse.

A lot of people also need to remember that they have a parasocial relationship with these influencers and that none of us will ever know the whole story.

[azrielsribbon]

!!! A COURT OF SILVER FLAME SPOILERS !!!

Alternatively, Asli finished the book in like six hours and has many, many thoughts.

ON THE TOPIC OF NESTA, SOME CASSIAN AND NESSIAN AS A WHOLE.

holy shit. this is a lot.

She has grown so much, and I mean that by the little things.

I love that sjm didn’t make it so she was addicted to the wine and sex

Okay I understand Nesta was frustrating sometimes because she really was stubborn but some of the shit Cassian said was really out of line. Especially when he screamed that no one like fucking liked her.

Cassian was down so bad this entire book and I knew that the moment he said he hadn’t bed a female in two years. He was STARVINGGG

Her determination in getting down those stairs, I probably wouldve tested myself down a window or something.

I liked how she bonded with the House. It was a refreshing, different take on loneliness and finding a friend.

The House and how it looked after her. It was the biggest thing in her journey.

One theme I see in Nesta a lot is self sabotage, especially when it means the safety of others. She’s ready to throw herself in front of them.

Her banter with Cassian was really nice to read.

WHEN SHE MENTIONED HAVING A THREESOME TWICE I DIED

Cassian and his backstory was rip. It was really sad thinking about how little kid Cass really regretted some of the things that even he couldn’t control.

sjm did not disappoint with inner thoughts. Those were really refreshing.

She wasn’t vividly jealous or furious at Mor and Cassian’s friendship and I really liked that take.

Cassian’s silent jealously when Helion tries to flirt with Nesta and she dodged it LMAOOO

When Cassian kisses her in front of their family to help her get out of the map

Her silent bond with Az! That kept me going honestly. He was a sly bastard sometimes.

Sometimes I really questioned somethings, like those fast smut scenes but that’s just my preference.

Her marching down to Amren’s after she finds out they voted against her having the weapons she Made

Not to mention how she told Feyre about the baby and the labor risk out of anger, that really hurt both of them and me.

When she stayed silent during her punishment hike with Cassian. Each thought tore me apart.

When he warned her about falling and she was glad he didn’t see the expression on her face. How she didn’t mind if she fell down and how it would better.

When she cried after all those days of silence and finally told him how she felt underneath all that.

He softened up fast too and blamed himself for not realizing all this time why she hated the fire.

Can we talk about that dancing scene with Eris? And how Cassian was secretly exploding on the side as he remembered her mother wanted her to marry a Prince just like Eris.

WHEN ERIS ASKED RHYS WHAT HE WANTED IN EXCHANGE FOR NESTA TO BE HIS BRIDE AFTER LIKE A COUPLE DANCED LMAOO

The Solstice scene had my heart. The gift Az got Nesta and how she hugged him after he told her about it. How Cassian smiled at the sight.

HOW CASS GOT HER A LITTLE MUSIC BOX RECORDED WITH THE MUSIC FROM THE BALLROOM AND HOW HE ASKED THE MUSICIANS TO PERFORM IT FOR HIM AFTER EVERYONE LEFT SO HE COULD GET IT FOR HERRRR

They really kept shit away from each other till it exploded in an argument and that’s a reoccurring theme with this book couple.

WHAT MADE ME SO FRUSTRATED WAS HOW HE WANTED TO STAY IN HER BED AFTER SEX AND SHE WANTED TO CUDDLE BUT THEY DIDNT SAY ANYTHING AND ASSUMED THE OTHER DIDNT WANT IT

The topic of mates was RUSHED. Like I mean really rushed. First they argue, he says shackled and then the next time they get to speak (after the forced Blood Rite and labor scene) they accept it? I dont know, it didn’t sit with me.

I wish Nesta would elaborate on why she didn’t believe in Mates even more and Cassian would actually listen for once. Again, rushed.

The ending was fast paced in my opinion. We could’ve really had more to go off of, I needed more domestic Nessian.

ON THE TOPIC OF NESTA, GWYN, EMERIE

I am obsessed with Gwyn, Emerie and their friendship with Nesta.

I love how Gwyn and Nesta started, both gritting their teeth and still appreciating that aspect of each other.

How Nesta raced to help her with a book even when their first encounter wasn’t the friendliest.

Gwyn being persistent in paying back her small debt. I love her.

When Gwyn applied to defense lessons after Nesta defended them from the scholar priestess.

Emerie, my homegirl. I love her to death. The way she easily befriends Nesta, how Nesta stands up for her when her cousin comes to bother her.

I don’t know if it was just me, but Emerie and Mor might possibly be something. Either good friends or interested lovers.

THE WAY EMERIE BONDED OVER SMUTTY NOVELS WITH THE OTHER GIRLS AND LET THEM BORROW HER STUFFFFFF

Gwyn helping Nesta with her research on Valkyries. Muah.

Gwyn and Az, I feel like something might happen here and if it does, I do not want any Elriel drama getting dragged in, MY GIRL GWYN HAS BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH OKAY

Gwyn thinking she doesn’t deserve the purity jewel the other priestesses wear and her backstory honestly just broke me. She endured so much.

Emerie and everything she lost. Her mother, her brother, her wings and any dreams she had of flying. How she distracts herself with work and gardening to keep that off her mind.

The way the girls all developed inside jokes, jokingly hanged up on Cassian at training and always had Nesta’s back.

The way they were dedicated to each other even during the Rite when they couldve let one another behind and won.

HER SISTERSSS I CRIED I WOULD DIE FOR THIS MF TRIOOOO

ON THE TOPIC OF THE INNER CIRCLE + THE ARCHERON PARENTS

Fey-ruh was pregoooo she and Rhys raw dogged it

I felt really really bad when no one fucking told her she would die because the baby had wings and she wasn’t fit to give birth like that. Like. What.

Can we talk about how they fucked when Feyre was in her Illyrian form and didn’t think the thing through?

Rhys, I can’t stand the guy. First he wants to make a bargain with his mate that they die together and then he wants to keep it from her that she can die when giving birth to their kid.

I think what pissed me off the most was when he was trying to help Cassian get Nesta out of a nightmare/power “episode” and had to experience what she did with the Cauldron and seeing Elain and Cassian hurt. He said he knew she was feeling something but seeing and feeling it yourself was different. Yeah, what else did you think smartass.

Rhys has a habit of keeping important shit secret, Amren is no better either. I think that’s what pissed me off the most. They sometimes kept the too important shit away.

As much as Nesta grew, so did Feyre. They both developed pretty good in my mind, I don’t hate her as much as I despise Rhys sometimes. All and all I love how she and Nesta ended up.

Amren....I get her point about Nesta using and abusing their friendship. At the same time, sometimes she was too harsh.

Elain, darling old cottage core aesthetic Elain. I found her to be a little insufferable sometimes. How she showed up unexpectedly at the Library to talk to Nesta and they got into an argument was funny to me since Nesta pulled out some stuff on her.

ELAIN THANKING NESTA AND SAYING FINALLY AFTER SHE TELLS HER TO “OH FUCK OFF” AT THE SOLSTICE PARTY WAS SO RANDOM

Elain and Lucien is some fucked up shit. I understand how she doesn’t want to acknowledge the fact that they’re mates and all that but you can atleast thank the guy when he gives you a gift on Solstice.

I feel bad for Lucien because as sweet as Elain might show to be, she’s really hurting him and could just reject him if she really doesn’t want him.

AZ AZ AZ I LOVE HIM AND HIS SLY MOMENTS

Az when he cockblocks is the best thing. Do it more often.

Az and Nesta’s bond is something I want to see more, as well as how she literally thought about a threesome with him and Cassian.

Morriiiiigan. Everyone mentions her beauty and how she’s like the sun walking and I admire that. She wasn’t as annoying as I thought she’d be on the topic of Nesta and Cassian being an item.

She also wasn’t in the book as much which made sense since she was in Vallahan. I did like how she accepted Nessian towards the end.

The long awaited Mrs Archeron. Some of my theories about her proved true! About how she groomed her daughters into marriage ideologies at the worst age. 12 and 11? What the fuck?

The way she called Elain a pretty thing with no ambition at 11, no wonder Nesta and Elain have no proper knowledge of survival like Feyre did. She was set on making sure Nesta married someone who would treat her well, Elain married someone rich since her beauty was beyond all three of them.

Literally Mrs Archeron was not okay LMAOOO why are you telling your daughters this when they haven’t even bled yet damn CHILL

I felt bad since she didn’t care for Feyre and only their father doted on Elain and Feyre. Nesta was kept all to her mother to feed off Mrs Archeron’s narcissism.

Not to mention she died a year later

I found it funny Elain mentioned how at 15, Nesta even had their dad fearing her. Like it’s your daughter, wdym you fear her

The backstory on how Nesta treated him and how she feels now looking back. It was saddening and I unfortunately know the regret of not doing somethings. It must eat her alive.

I enjoyed reading this book, even if I wasn’t content with the ending. I tabbed a LOT of things so you’ll probably catch me editing and adding more to this in the morning. Thank you for reading all the way down here! 🤍

[casually-shipped]

Jeff Wittek is DUMB! Means well, but DUMB!

     That interview. Where to begin? The turn this interview took, I didn’t even want to write this. I’m more torn for metoo which is further harmed by, and at the expense of this shit show. From Jeff’s handling of this, to Ethan and Trisha’s involvement in this conversation. Jeff was thrown from the very beginning. He fucked up. As genuine as he wanted to be, Ethan dominated him because Jeff was unprepared. I am shocked Jeff didn’t refresh his memory on the situation, that he would speak out when he didn’t know fully the information to even speak out about. From the moment Jeff released his own video on his YouTube, he was working without the complete information. Which unravels anything he hoped to achieve. 

     I was very disappointed to realize that Jeff is, and was more interested in protecting himself (excluding his employees) his business, than the concerns of any allegation. I’m glad he realized that too, and said as much. I get Jeff, I get his history, and I see how this situation is not easy for someone like him, his self esteem, his past, secrets, and new found success. He wants to protect himself so much, but at the same time protect his friends, those he loves, and the alleged victims, and he is tripping all over himself. For the morons on the internet, in the court of public opinion, this did him and this situation no real favors. 

     Ethan and Trisha are master manipulators, and very smart when it comes to this. Jeff was very much out matched especially with this team up. The worst part in all of this is Jeff resorted to past problematic behavior imo. He lied! You see, when you choose not to speak truth to power, or speak truth out of fear of saying the wrong thing, or to protect someone, you lose credibility immediately. As you should. I didn’t expect Jeff to take this turn, but I can see it because he was backed into a corner, and when this happens to him, this is the result. He panicked, and fucked up. From this point on in the interview when he says he doesn’t remember the photo Ethan showed him, the interview went further down hill.

      The photo was used by Ethan to trip Jeff up. It was a brilliant move, but someone with actual brain cells would know, that the picture wasn’t time stamped. That was an upload time, but Jeff didn’t realize this, nor understood that, so he doubted his own memory, which I wouldn’t be surprised is screwed up especially after his so called “near death car accident.” (EDit: Further analysis, I thought the photo was an upload from a social media site, it might actually be a time stamp.)  “Which means his memory of events are very questionable, but his entire statements are in doubt regardless!”

     Not only did he doubt his memory, but the situation doesn’t truly matter to him because he believes his truth, that he didn’t bother to do the work. It showed. It showed Jeff doesn’t actually believe the victim, and even if he is telling the truth, even if the victim is lying, this isn’t how you handle this situation. Believe victims, for the sake of the movement until proven otherwise. He tried to walk this line, but ultimately failed. He failed to tell the right truth because he doesn’t truly understand this. He shouldn’t have spoken at all to this degree outside of a court of law in the first place, for his sake, his friends, the metoo movement, and the alleged victim.

      Once he doubted his own memory because of the photo and Ethan’s clever rues, he crumbled. From this moment it was very hard to watch. There came a point where it seemed Jeff was trying so hard to distance himself, it really sounded like, and I believe this is what he was doing, throwing everyone who isn’t him under the bus. Intentionally or not, that was publicly damning.  He acted as if there was a cover up that he wasn’t aware of, and tried to protect himself which came across as confirmation of the allegations. Which again began to destroy public confidence and his credibility. As well as his character. He quickly became an unreliable source. If Jeff wants to remember where he was, if he had his location turned on his phone, he can look up his location from that time maybe? lol Just a thought! Well, the authorities will anyways. 

     Ethan’s way of asking questions was to project a truth that he believes or wants people to believe and plays off that. He makes people think that his opinion or point of view is fact, as well as making shocked faces, using certain tones and inflections, being accusatory, twisting words, ignore and not following up statements, moving past answers in favor of his own answers, talking over Jeff and retailing Jeff’s point of view and the point of view of the allegations, with his own narrative. At points Trisha did the same, which Ethan allowed and played off of. This interview was a hit job, not getting any other side or truly getting to the bottom of something. Ethan disgusts me! This interview DISGUSTED ME! If you can call this an interview outside of an opportunity for exploitation, and monetization. After the interview even began to make jokes was disgusting do to the serious nature of all of this.

      I’m glad I powered through the interview because it was so cringe, too cringe, but I got through it. What a waste of time. I walked away knowing more than I thought I would, but I put myself through mental anguish just to end up with more questions. I have an idea what Jeff is hiding about his eye. I have many theories about Jeff, and David. These theories is pretty eye opening for me when it comes to this situation. I do still give credit to Jeff and surprisingly even Trisha for this situation to a degree. Trisha will however always be trash for me. But she isn’t wrong about how David in some ways treated her, even if it was mental health driving her physical, emotional, and mental abuse towards others and Jason. There’s just no excuse for her. No excuse for David either. David is and was a very insensitive self involved individual. To the point where his pranks deffinetely crossed a massive line. Brandon even thought he was a psychopath, he truly believed it. David had to beg for forgiveness and say even sorry to his parents for what he put Brandon through. An emotionally traumatizing moment. Shit like that David needs to own, and hasn’t.

     If what happened with the victim happened, then she as well as everyone involved has to speak out. Even if it didn’t! That’s just doing the right thing for the movement. Let’s say the victim messed up her story or is lying? You still treat this with the respect it is owed until it becomes a criminal case, or defend yourself in court for defamation and we hear otherwise. If you have privilege then you will gain back anything you lost when the truth is finally known, if you are innocent. Some thing you don’t allow to play out in the court of public opinion, literally fuck the public, it’s the only way to protect victims and the movement from being destroyed by outrage cancel culture, the way it has been. David and others who were there, not speaking is a mistake. However, I disagree with how far you have this conversation. Jeff in my opinion has gone a little too far. Some truths you keep to yourself, even if it makes you look bad, until court. It comes out then not before to respect the victims involved publicly as well as the movement.   

     What are my final thoughts? Personally, I don’t really know what to believe. I in all honesty am not sure I truly believe the victim, but, I choose to because of the movement, and that I wasn’t there. So I don’t know shit! But if you want just my honest opinion, I believe Jeff wasn’t involved in that way, I also don’t believe David would go as far as being insinuated, he’s dumb and careless, but not that. But even then, who really knows? Anything is possible. I just don’t think that part of the story is correct, but that’s just me. I have always at that time when I saw this vlog, thought it was faked. I remember David peaking and nothing was happening. They were all dressed, but that could have been shot at a different times, again no one knows. This is edited footage here.

      David in the past has been involved in edgy sexual content when it comes to consent. Heath (and I can’t remember who else it was, maybe Zane,) were in a hot tub clearly drunk, and David used that moment when they kissed for a fun video moment and that was a moment David took advantage of for content. They may have consented for that video to be uploaded after the fact, but it seems David has always had a problem with consent, AFTER THE FACT! I do believe David has grown and changed a lot, but he still imo hasn’t come far enough. There are things he still needs to take accountability for, and he never has. His video, very much wasn’t that. The whole situation is just awful. I can however mimic some of Ethan’s words at the end to Jeff. I hate Ethan, but damn if he wasn’t right. Credit where credit is do. But fuck Ethan! David HAS to treat this issue with more respect that it is owed!

[phantaloon-books]

I finally read The Tyrant's Tomb and boi I loved this one so much, so here's some my opinion on it (they're not in chronological order)

warning, this is long af and sorry for cursing a bit, I can't help it

Apollo's character arc is lowkey one of the best Rick has written, I'm sorry if you don't agree, but he's gone from wanting others to solve his problems and relying on the halfbloods to intentionally avoiding others doing things for him, volunteering for the quests and saying it should be him that faces the terrible stuff so that demigods and other creatures don't suffer

something really interesting is how his perception of himself has changed, and it's almost worrying how genuinely self depreciating his inner dialogue is, because he no longer sees himself as mighty Apollo, he sees himself as worthless and useless Lester, and his narration is highkey depressing

Also, Apollo disliking and being somewhat disgusted of the god he used to be, realizing the horrible things he had done and how horrible he was and that he looked worse as the former Apollo than as Lester, regretting things he'd done, that's top tier development

(I'm sorry but I love the entire scene with the ravens, the part where he just screams "I'm sorry" it feels as if he isn't just apologizing to the ravens, but to everyone who's been affected by what he's done as a selfish god)

Reyna so openly turning down and laughing at Apollo for suggesting they be together is my favorite thing ever lmao I couldn't stop laughing, like she knew what gods can do if you turn them down (even if it was just mortal Lester) and she didn't give a damn, it was so fucking funny

people say Rick only includes diversity for the sake of including it and to gain popularity, but I still enjoy the fact that he does, because as a teacher he must have had all kinds of students of all religions, colors and sexualities, he includes diversity because he's seen diversity. anyway my point is I love that we have Lavinia, a Jewish lesbian from a Russian family, and she's not ashamed of being any of them

I'm sorry I just love Apollo so much, I've grown to respect him so much, and even if Hermes once said them gods often forget their oaths and promises, I have a feeling Apollo won't ever forget Jason's request that he never forgets what's it like to be mortal

Frank still admiring Apollo despite everything, and despite the fact that he looks like a messed up teen makes me go all uwu

Frank being portrayed as this clumsy and awkward kid but also this powerful and brave leader is my favorite thing ever because I think Frank is underrated and I dare to say that he's one of the strongest demigods we've ever met, even stronger than some of the nig three children

the whole thing about the undead army is honestly so creepy, especially when we see it from Apollo's perspective cause se him slowly succumb to the venom's effect, and that part in Tarquin's tomb where he "calls Lester to be part of his undead" was genuinely disturbing, at least to me

some books in the past have touched the part of the nature spirits not being given enough attention, but I really enjoyed how Apollo comes to realize that he only worries about demigods and gods when all lives are worth the same - mortals, halfbloods, nature spirits, gods, and even monsters

again, I love Apollo's arc, it's just AHH he's becoming so caring of life it just makes me happy

Reyna choosing herself to make herself happy is everything, and inspiring to every single woman who is told by others that they need someone to be happy, I just love it, because self love is the most important love of all

I haven't said anything about it, but man I love Meg and Apollo's friendship, they just care so much for each other, Meg who's so scared of losing her loved ones and Apollo who's so scared of not being able to be loved or to love, but they still love each other, and I'm glad it's not romantic, because yes fraternal love is also what people need, and their friendship is what they need

aurum and argentum being cute doggos rather than the steely (no pun intended) and cold dogs we met in HoO warms my heart. I don't understand why they're so cute and adorable, or maybe that's just how Apollo sees them, but they seem to act like actual dogs in this book

the fact that Reyna never confirmed nor denied being attracted to Thalia just makes me all hyped up, like we love Theyna

Apollo just gives off Eddie Brock vibes throughout the entire book and that's hilarious asf. ever since the start he's said to look like shit, feel like shit and be injured with deathly poison that will turn him to a zombie. if that isn't Venom vibes I don't know what is

I've said it once and I'll say it again, Frank Zhang is one of the strongest demigods Rick has ever introduced in a series, and him facing two immoral and godly in power emperors, burning one to death with his own life fire and injuring the other enough for Apollo to do the final kill is top tier

"If I'm going to burn, I might as well burn bright. This is for Jason." bitch actual goosebumps

We've seen countless deaths before, but something about Frank killing Caligula and Apollo killing Commodus seems so... mature I guess is the word, or well for a more mature audience. I can't describe how or why, but it feels more real, more like actual human death

I can't deal with how human Apollo seems in this book gosh I really am sorry I keep bringing this up, but I feel such warmth

the story of how Frank overcame his curse is actual BS and as much as I love Frank, it makes no sense that they spent all that time thinking of ways to keep the wood secure only for this. idk I mean id that were the case wouldn't the curse had vanished when he broke Thanatos free? he was willing to die then just like against Caligula, so why now but not then?

Don reincarnating into a laurel is peak bittersweet feeling and it actually hurt because in a camp where fauns were seen as dumb and useless, he helped Lavinia organize everything and destroy the canon things on the yachts

I'm still not over Jason's death, he really did deserve better. It makes sense, plotwise, because out of all of the huge characters from the past, Jason, Percy and Annabeth's deaths would impact others the harder, and push them to do better. And I understand that you gotta show, not even the main characters survive sometimes. Still, I'm hurt.

Thalia talking to Apollo during the funeral for the fallen campers made me actually weep. I'm not sure if it was because of Jason, or when Thalia talked about how much Artemis loves Apollo, or when Apollo "accepted" halfblood children of Zeus as his family

Also, you know who deserved better? Harpocrates, damn right he deserved better. I nearly cried when I read his death, cause he embraced it like one would an old friend in happiness. He and the Sybil deserved better. Dakota also deserved better

On the other hand, I tried so hard not to laugh at 2 am as I read Tarquin demand answers from a cat? he genuinely thought a cat would tell him where the Sybilline Books where and I couldn't handle that

This book is cruel but in a much more human way? The maiming of the pegasi wings? that's horrifying, but in such a human way, unlike what we've seen in any of the greek/roman gods series, and it's unsettling

Meg is braver than any of the other demigods were at that age (maybe excepting Nico), cause she's not embarking on a quest to retrieve an item or rescue someone or bring back their sister from the dead, she's facing her own abusive father while aiding a somewhat weak mortal in releasing the oracles and gaining godhood back. what's she getting from it all? absolutely nothing, she's gifted some seeds and she hangs out with unicorns more than other people and she's lost everything, but she's willing to lose more to help her friend. she's heroic like no one else is, because she's the first who doesn’t want anything more than being with her friend (Percy wanted whoever was taken back, Annabeth wanted to be able to be more, Nico wanted to bring back Bianca, even Bianca wanted freedom). the only other person who didn't have somewhat selfish (but kot wrong) interests while doing something heroic at a young age has been Hazel. What I mean is I love Meg and everything she does

Thalia being that chill over Jason's death bothers me so much, as if she wasn't the happiest when she found out the brother she lost 14 years ago was alive after all, and she had a part of her family back, and it was ripped from her, and Thalia is just not one to easily forget or move on from things, it's just unrealistic that she would only need a little furious session of throwing things to be okay with Jason's death as if her brother was not just taken from her all over again. it's impulsive Thalia we're talking about, who fought Percy when dealing with Annabeth going missing, it's just not her to be over his death that quickly. Sorry for Rick but I think differently

I also kinda don't like that Tyson went from being freaking General of the Cyclops, to the guy that has the Sybilline prophecies or whatever, it's important and all, but he would have been of great help during the battle and they had him waiting for help in the shrine hill like his potential went down the drain

but a thing I really loved was how different Camp Jupiter seems from Lester eyes compared from Percy's or Hazel's or Frank's perspective, it's hilarious. The other three see this place where everyone is serious and shit but Apollo just sees beyond the seriousness and it's actually refreshing, cause he's the first not to make CHB seem immature in comparison and like I said before I hated that in previous books

also Reyna laughing watered my plants, cured my depression, and made the world okay again, I just love her

all in all, this is my favorite book of ToA so far, and I'm really excited to see what's to come, and how Apollo and Meg will face Nero and Python, but more  than anything I'm looking forward to what will happen to Apollo, and whether if given the choice, he'd go back to being a selfish god or remain mortal for a while, with his newfound friends

Also I really miss Annabeth so can I please see Annabeth, I just want to see her cause she won't deal with Apollo's shit and I can't wait to see that, I miss my girl

[miss-choco-chips]

Brother

The journey from Vodka Aunt to Wine Mom starts with Scottish coffee.

Or, Nicole totally thought this through, shut up Janet.

----.----

Nicole had believed -she had believed it would be… not easy, but easier than it had been, for Janet. She had been blindsided, after all, and completely out of her depth. Nicole, as she was now, had a good amount of practice under her belt- almost thirteen years of it. She shouldn’t be as clumsy about this as Jan had been, those first few weeks of Tim’s life.

In any other world, she would have been indifferent to the wounds, the verbal abuse, the disdain and blatant use of an innocent and manipulable mind. But here, now, she had been an aunt- a godmother, for almost thirteen years. Maybe it was Timmy’s kindness, absorbed into her bones via osmosis, maybe it was the maternal instinct Janet sometimes complained took over her life at irregular intervals to make her a better mother, maybe it was because he reminded her so much of her godson… but she just couldn’t stand it.

So she gathered her resources, called in a couple favors, took the child and disappeared into the night. That part was easy; Talia might be stronger, physically speaking, but Nicole’s mind could moon-walk circles around hers all day long.

But, what now? Back in Gotham as per her plan, where Talia couldn’t just waltz in and do as she wished without an angry bat breathing down her neck, but totally fucking lost as to what her next steps should be.

So she goes to Janet. If years of friendship aren’t enough to get her to help, she could always remind her of how it was thanks to Nicole’s contacts that she got Shiva as Tim’s self-defense teacher.

The bitch owes her.

----.----

Tim isn’t worried, exactly, when aunt Nicole power-walks into the tea room where mother and son are having breakfast -much more cozy than the dining room- and smiles tersely, asking if she could have a word with Janet. 

He is, though, when she asks him to leave the room. Because never before has Nicole cared that Tim heard what she talked with mom, be it a complain about some mutual acquaintance or some confidential information from one of her cases.

He leaves, of course, because he respects her enough, but sends one not-actually-scared -but-close-enough look at his mother on the way out.

The second the door is closed, he can hear Nicole blurting something out, and the deafening sound of a teacup crashing into the floor. He rushes his steps, stopping by his room to grab his camera before going outside. He doesn’t want to be there for the fall out, if mom’s initial reaction was to lose her grip on her cup. Maybe he should call uncle Lex, get a little vacation outside the city (and line of fire).

He’s entertaining the thoughts of asking for a lift via Lex Corp special jet towards Paris vs Japan, when he sees the kid sitting under his favorite tree.

He approaches, curious and tentative, and the kid looks up to him when he gets within arm distance (doesn’t look surprised, like he knew Tim was there all along). The moment he sees him clearly, though, Tim freezes.

The shape of his eyes. The color of his hair. The ears, the contorn of the face, the scowl. His skin might be tanner, and his irises a different tint, but he looks at the kid for less than a second and knows, without a doubt, that he’s looking at Bruce Wayne’s son. 

His heart might have stopped, but the mind is a wonderful thing that never stops working, and the next order of business is figuring out who the mother is. He remembers Nicole’s tight face, her venomous green eyes almost equal to this kid’s, and… Yeah, okay, so this is also Talia Al Ghul’s spawn. What the hell was Bruce thinking? Does Dick know? Does Bruce know?

-Stop looking at me like a buffon, or I’ll have your eyes removed -speaks up the kid, and Tim’s mind reminds him that, yeah, he isn’t looking at a picture, but a real, breathing human being. A six-or-seven year old being, despite his speech.

Manners kicking to the forefront of his head, he crouches down in front of the kid, camera dangling from his neck, all but forgotten by its owner for maybe the first time ever.

-Hey there. My name is Timothy Drake -he smiles, hand offered with kindness, but eyes sharp as he keeps on inspecting the face in front of his. That, and his name, seems to immediately change the kid’s opinion of him, because his eyes widen and he’s quick to return the greeting.

Aunt Nicole must have said something to him about Tim and his special position as Janet Drake’s son, because when the kid shakes his hand (calloused, with more than one scar, probably more used at handling a weapon than Tim is going to be at the end of his life), he’s being almost comically careful about it, as if he’s unsure about how much to squeeze or shake without hurting him. Nicole probably stressed into him about Tim being delicate and how he should handle him with care, which, bullshit, he’s not a baby anymore, not like this kid.

-I see. I’ve heard about you a lot from Aunt during my travels here. My name is Ibn al Xu’ffasch.

Tim blinks twice, smile firmly in place, hand holding lightly into the kid’s. There’s something ridiculous about Bruce’s kid literally being called ‘Son of the bat’.

-...my other name is Damian, Damian Al Ghul.

-I see. Which one do you prefer? 

This seems to baffle the kid, though he recovers quickly. Has anyone ever asked him for his preference on something as personal as his name?- You may address me as Damian.

-Okay then, Damian. I was going to go around the property for a walk, take some picture of animals. Why don’t you come with me? You can also tell me a little about yourself. With Nicole as your Aunt, we are sure to meet often.

----.----

-So you just… took the kid and ran.

-No, I had a well thought plan. And I didn’t ran. That’s undignified.

-Really, now.

-I couldn’t just leave him, Jan. He’s six.

-He’s a genetically engineered baby trained since birth by your psychotic sister in how to be a perfect killing machine. Excuse me if I think he can handle himself. But whatever, what’s done is done. What are you going to do now?

-I… I kinda hoped you’d tell me. 

-...I’ll tell the butler to prepare refreshments. This is going to be a long talk.

-Vodka?

-It’s nine in the morning, you unclassy fool. We are having Scottish coffee. Besides, you acquired a child, you can’t be the vodka aunt any longer. If anything, be the wine mom.

-No, I’m not adopting this kid. Rip to Bruce, but I’m not like him.

-Well, I’m not doing it for you either.

-I’m not asking that! I plan on giving him to his dad to look after, but he’s too…

-Murderous?

-...yeah, that. I’m going to try to ease him into normal society as much as I can before calling Wayne, to prevent a full blown out culture shock.

-This is Gotham, dear. You want normal society, go to Metropolis. But sure, I’ll help you with this. You might have to move into the Manor for a few weeks, though. Also, you are lucky Tim is on break right now, his innate kindness might help in this. But if your demonic nephew touches a single hair in Tim’s head, I’m throwing him to the sharks.

-Are you talking about reporters, the League of Assassins, or actual sharks?

-Yes.

----.----

Tim snaps a quick pic when the kid isn’t looking, because this is precious. 

Damian had been a proud little prick at first, refusing to show the interest shining in his eyes towards the multiple animals Tim introduced him to. But by the time they left behind the horse (the one Lex gave him on his tenth birthday), birds and fishes on the property’s pond, and moved into Tim’s pets, he had left his facade behind and did his best to pet every animal at the same time. He couldn’t, of course, didn’t have enough hands for all two cats, the dog and the bunny, but by god he tried. 

Sel, the female cat, had taken residence on the kid’s shoulders, lounging there like an Empress, judging them all from above (or as above as she could be, perched on such a small kid that was sitting down to boot). Her partner in crime and life, Alley, rubbed his head under Tim’s chin, comfortable in his human’s arms. 

Then, Max, his Golden Retriever dog. He was a sweetheart, and had charmed Damian in less than a minute, greeting him with enthusiastic licks at his hands and a furiously quick tail moving side to side. Damian had been blindsided by the utter cuteness of the dog immediately falling in love with him, and had responded in kind, dedicating almost half an hour to dote on him alone.

Now, almost two hours after meeting the kid, Tim couldn’t help but snap another picture of Damian, sitting on the ground in front of Tim, one hand petting Max who had laid by his side, the other one carefully stroking Butter the Bunny’s head while he rests on his lap. Sel occasionally nudges her head against his cheek to demand for attention, that he gladly provides, and everything seems out of a Disney movie.

He knows this kid is dangerous. Because he is Nicole’s relative, because his eyes are always scanning their surroundings for threats, because his hand is the hand of a warrior. 

But he looks up at Tim when Sel gives a tiny lick to his check, looking as if he’d been blessed by the Kitten Gods and needs guidance on the appropriate response, and Tim thinks he could overlook the danger. God knows everyone is afraid of Mom, and that doesn’t stop Tim from kissing her cheek and hugging her at least once per day. 

This kid deserves love, too, and he always wanted a sibling.

[vmochis]

Enemy’s Epiphany- OneShot

  The short boy closes his locker enthusiastically after having taken out his science binder. Next period was going to be fun considering his teacher was lenient.

   “Hey, Park Jimin!” His best friend, Kim Taehyung calls jokingly. “You ready? Mr. Jung said he’d give out gummy worms for our lab.” Jimin smiles at his friend dearly and nods his head. The two had recently enrolled into Joongdong High School, located in irwon-dong Seoul, one of the oldest and one of the most prestigious secondary schools in Korea. Though both of them were Juniors, they’d only just changed schools in the beginning of this year, and now have been at Joongdong for a little over seven months. They were lucky to enroll together considering Jimin’s family drama, but they eventually gave in.

   “Yeah, I’m ready. Let’s go.” Jimin walks by Taehyung as they talk about their macromolecules lab that’s due the following day. Jimin’s attention span shifts as he turns to the open glass window on his left, a bird resting on the ledge. He runs his fingers through his black locks, when he feels a sharp pain hit his hip and falls backward.

  “I am so sorry!” He says pleadingly, helping up the stranger he had just absentmindedly knocked over.

  “It’s fine,” the other boy chuckles. Taehyung is silent for a moment before speaking.

  “You’re that Jeon kid the entire track team worships,” He says venomously. Jungkook tilts his head to signal he has no idea what Taehyung is implying, though deep inside he knew exactly what he’d meant. He turns back to Jimin and shakes his hand.

  “My name is Jeon Jungkook, you can just call me Jungkook though.” Taehyung glares at him disparagingly. Jimin smiles. He hasn’t made a new friend since his mother and father split. Taehyung has been the only one that stuck by him, even after the cold display Jimin had plastered onto himself. Taehyung had saved him for the nth time. He finds it refreshing to see a new face. Taehyung looks out the window, waiting for the annoying and unnecessary conversation to finish.

 “I’m sorry about Taetae,” Jimin says in a low tone. “He’s kind of hard-headed. There’s no getting to him unless you can prove him wrong.” Jungkook lets out a small scoff. “We have to head to class, but maybe we can hang out during lunch?” Jimin asks forwardly. Jungkook nods and waves them off. Jungkook had always been the social type, several friends in middle school and supportive parents. He didn’t really have much to worry about. He was the stereotypical ‘nice guy’ that was there for everyone; well acquainted with many, but not close to any. He looked at Jimin one more good time before heading to his morning class. The smaller male turns to his best friend questioningly.

  “What was the attitude for? He seems like a nice kid.” Taehyung shakes his head in total disagreement.

“He’s a jerk. You know how the track team can be. Everyone thinks that kid is some sort of god. He probably gets away with everything and causes trouble.” He states, cringing. The football team and the track team never seemed to get along. In any situation or schedule mix up for practice, the teams would blame each other. This caused bigger problems off of school grounds. Taehyung is the star wide-receiver, one of the best players even the coach has ever seen. Jimin chuckles at his friend’s stereotypical opinion. They’ve been friends since preschool. They’d met over a simple coincidence, whereas Jimin heard the younger crying over not being able to tie his shoes. Jimin had calmed him down that day and they’d been friends ever since. Taehyung was the rough type that always preferred to use fists over words. He believed a lot of things unless he himself could prove it to be false. Jimin was more of the logical type. Before assumptions, he’d always be sure to ask about something, seeing as this was why his parents had split years ago. But then again, he was half Taehyung’s size, brains over bronze was his best philosophy. They balanced each other out well. “Not everyone is the same Tae.” Taehyung still isn’t convinced. Jimin looks at Taehyung uneasy. Jungkook seemed like a cool guy that he really wanted to befriend. He didn’t know his name at the time, but he’d seen Jungkook on the field when he’d come to support his friend. He looked so bright and caring for his teammates. It didn’t seem like he was playing for the fame of it, but for the team itself. But what if Taehyung stops talking to him? What if he starts ignoring him completely? He under no circumstances wants to lose the one he cherishes the most.

~                                                            ~                                                     ~

 It’s finally lunchtime. Jimin and Taehyung walk in together.

  “Maybe we can find Jungkook and the three of us can hang out.” Jimin suggests. Taehyung looks at him doubtfully.

  “You think that snob would want to hang out with us? He’s the type of person to make himself fall over, ruin his best shirt and blame you just to get some cash.” Jimin sighs. Taehyung still won’t budge. The two boys sit by the football team as they usually do, throwing food at each other and making immature noises. Jimin catches Jungkook stealing glances at him from his own table. Jungkook waves at him, which is returned with a smile. He’d wished for Taehyung to lighten up. Jungkook was a nice kid. He’d thought about convincing him, but the way Taehyung was, those seemed like words one would dare not divulge. Jimin looks over to his best friend, wolfing down the cheeseburger in front of him. He glances away when he sees him look up. Taehyung stares at a now spaced out Jimin, wondering what could be going through his little mind. Taehyung heads to the bathroom, and Jungkook takes his chance to sit down.

  “Hey, do you know why Taehyung hates me so much already?” Jimin pushes back his black locks with a small chuckle.

“He’s…very assumptive,” Jimin starts, “He believes too many rumors. I’m sorry about his behavior. We’ve only been here a little while and he’s already at the top of his game, so he thinks he knows everything.” Jimin says nonchalantly shaking his head. Jungkook just nods.

“He’ll be back any minute, so I’m gonna go back. I’ll think of something.” Jungkook stands up and adjusts his collar. He sits back down at his previous table, ironically just before Taehyung enters the cafeteria. The bell rings and Taehyung’s stomach drops. He knew what period came after lunch, and he dreaded it.

  Taehyung walks into math class hesitantly. Not only do they have a test tomorrow, but Taehyung is entirely lost. He doesn’t understand anything the teacher has been saying in previous lessons. This class, he decided to devote his time to gaining an understanding, at least to the minimum. He sits down in the first chair he sees, not caring whether or not the student sitting beside him would be bothered. Class begins, and Taehyung listens diligently. For some reason none of it is clicking in his brain. He sighs softly in irritation and brings his hands to his face.

  “Need some help?” A familiar voice calls from beside him. Taehyung looks up to see Jungkook smiling at him patiently, as if he was asking for a truce. Taehyung rolls his eyes.

  “Yeah right. You’ll probably tell me the wrong way on purpose.” Jungkook furrows his eyebrows.

  “I wouldn’t do that to you. Team beef or not.” Jungkook slides Taehyung’s paper to the middle of the pair and begins writing out a process for Taehyung to follow, and for once he actually understands it. Jungkook’s way of explaining things was a lot more detailed than the teacher’s.

  “Thanks.” He says almost surprised. He didn’t think he’d ever have to say that to a member of the track team. “I don’t get it- why does everyone talk about you so much?” Jungkook smiles faintly.

  “They assume a lot of things about me because of my playing field. They must think my ‘skill’ has gone to my head or something.” He was right, most athletes acted as if he thought of himself as a god. In no way was he stuck up either, he was humble to the core.

   “I get that now. I used to hear that you were some snot-nosed brat that abused his ability to get special privileges,” Taehyung pauses for a moment and continues. “I want to apologize for how I acted back in the hallway. You’ve done nothing to me, yet I judged you simply because of our team problems.” Jungkook waves his hand.

   “I totally get it. It’s normal to tag on to what others think. Hopefully this can help our team conflict simmer down a little bit.” Jungkook smiles. “Actually that might be a good idea. ‘The teams two best players as friends.’ Not bad,” Jungkook quotes. Taehyung hums in response. The bell rings, both boys hand in their papers and walk out of the classroom to see Jimin patiently tapping his small fingers over his binder. He’d always wait for his best friend considering he leaves his dance class a few minutes early. Jimin sighs in relief at the sight of the two.

“Does this mean you two get along now?” Taehyung nods.

“We do have one more thing to do though.” Jungkook smiles, both boys instantly understand what they needed to do. Class is over, it’s time for practice.

~                                                                  ~                                                               ~

Taehyung and Jungkook walk onto the field, talking and laughing together. The members of the football team stop in their tracks, eyeing the boys as if some kind of miracle has been brought upon. Jimin scoots to the bottom of the metal bleachers, praying that a war doesn’t break out. The boys walk all the way across the field until they’re at the track. Taehyung waves him off and returns to his team. Both teams look at each other in disbelief, changing to what seemed to be a long awaited state of relief.

  “Thank heavens. I’ve been pretending to hate my friend for so long now!” A boy on the track team calls out, pointing to a scrawnier male holding his football helmet. The teams instantly diffuse, chatting away as if they’ve been waiting to do so for years, finally getting approval. Jimin smiles brightly, calling to both Taehyung and Jungkook. His smile makes them smile, and they both look at each other and nod before rushing to Jimin’s spot on the bleachers.

  “This is really all thanks to you Jimin. Your words made me think long and hard about how to approach Taehyung, and it worked.” Jimin smiles and waves his hand.

 “This is thanks to you guys. Your teams can finally get along!” Taehyung buds in,

 “Maybe we can all go to my house to celebrate after practice. I’ll order Panda Express.” He says, looking over at Jimin suggestively. He knows that Jimin loves that restaurant. Even if he doesn’t want to be praised for the result of his words, Taehyung would still like to thank him.

 “Yeah, Panda Express sounds amazing right now” Jungkook says in a near mumble, patting his empty stomach.

<3

[mcdvoicesurveyus]

Standard Food Rules for Optimal Health

Food Is Big Business!

Americans spend a whopping $1 trillion dollars a year on food. Food is big business to say the least. The increasing health issues that accompany the rising obesity levels have prompted many food manufacturers to focus on key marketing conditions, such as low carb, whole grain, etc., in order to promote their merchandise. For the food sector, mixed messages and confusion are also great for business. In his publication Food Rules, author Michael Pollan stated:

As a journalist I fully appreciate the value of widespread public opinion: We're at the excuse business, and if the responses to the questions we explore got overly straightforward, we'd be out of job. IndeedI had a deeply unsettling moment after, after spending a couple years researching nutrition for my last book, In Defense of FoodI understood that the answer to the allegedly incredibly complicated question of what we ought to consume wasn't so complex after all, and in fact could be boiled down to just seven words:

Eat food. Not overly much. Mostly plants.

Basic Guidelines

Eat Real Food

It doesn't take a genius to figure out this one. Basically, man will never improve on what God has created.

"Consume a variety of nutrient-dense foods and beverages within and among the basic food groups while choosing foods that limit the intake of saturated and trans-fats, cholesterol, added sugars, salt, and alcohol."

The dilemma is that the common sense has to compete with a powerful trillion dollar food business that bombards us with messages calculated to make us consume more and a lot of the worst potential food. Generally , there is an inverse relationship between nutritional price and gain in regards to food. The further you process any food, the more profitable it becomes. The more processed it is, the less nutritional value it retains. That's why we see things like enriched flour. They attempt to stuff a few of the nutrients back in they processed outside. What we end up with is a far cry from what God gave us. Packaged and processed food firms spare no cost to push more of their merchandise in their target market. Greater than 90 percent of the merchandise sales are made to less than 10 percent of the customers. "In the case of processed food, that coveted 10 percent consists largely of people weighing more than 200 pounds and earning less than $35,000 per year."

In his publication, The New Wellness Revolution, economist Paul Zane Pilzer discovered:

No expense is spared to hit every psychological button which things to the target market... Like a deer caught in the scope of a hunter in close range, the goal never has opportunity.

At times, the ruthlessness of this process troubles the consciences of their $200,000-per-year marketing and advertising executives in control of it. Some actually refuse to attend their own focus groups. As opposed to face their future victims in person, they prefer to review transcripts from the protection of the offices.

One of the wonderful scandals of the junk-food culture is the extent to which its most enthusiastic promoters personally prevent the very products they're pushing.

Pilzer goes on to point out:

These food companies do something much worse than targeting lower-income, unhealthy, overweight consumers for their goods. Once the target actually tries the product and becomes a client, company chemists guarantee they will not ever be satisfied with eating only a healthful quantity of it.

[They] have been altered to make sure that"nobody can eat just one" of these. This compound change causes great overconsumption, boosting obesity and ruining the natural trend of our taste buds to seek variety in what we consume.

Perhaps now you are beginning to feel a little bit of righteous indignation. We have allowed ourselves to be led astray like pigs to the slaughter. I'm reminded again of the words of Jesus,"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly" (John 10:10 ESV). These items shouldn't surprise us. It's our obligation to educate ourselves so that we all know good from bad. That brings me back to this point. The single best thing you can do to ensure proper nutrition is to consume primarily unprocessed whole foods. Real meals, not edible food-like substances. Real food significance:

Leafy Greens Fruits Lean Proteins Whole Grains Healthy Fats Legumes (beans, peas, etc) If the vast majority of your diet is made of real food, you will receive better nutrition and feel more fulfilled when consuming fewer calories. A good way to make sure you are eating real food would be always to keep the peripheries of the supermarket and remain out of the center.

Shop the peripheries of the supermarket and stay out of the middle

You have probably noticed that many supermarkets are laid out the same manner: For the most part, refreshing food-produce, fish and meat, dairy-are on the outside edge, whereas processed foods dominate the centre aisles. Also, many stores set the organic and whole foods segments on the periphery too. If you keep to the outer edge of the shop you are considerably more likely to end up with real food in your shopping cart. This strategy isn't entirely fool proof because HFCS, synthetic sweeteners and other non-food ingredients have snuck to the dairy case and are hiding in flavored yogurts, pudding and some sorts of cheese. Also, good foods, such as brown rice, dried legumes, old-fashioned oatmeal, whole wheat pasta, etc., are often found in a few of the internal isles of the store. However, the time spent in the middle isles, the better off you are. Consider it like a baseball diamond-when you're running the foundations it's ideal to stay as close to the baseline as you can. Deviate into the infield too much and you will find yourself back on the seat.

Pay More, Eat Less

We have all heard the age-old adage,"you get what you pay for." Food is no exclusion. Quality is more important than quantity. Pollan observed,"There's no escaping the fact that better food-measured by taste or nutritional quality (which often correspond)-costs more, because it has been grown less intensively and with more care. Not everyone can afford to eat well in America, which is a literal shame, but most of us can."

Much like everything else, there's also a cost trade-off. As food prices have diminished, food quality has diminished and we end up needing to eat more meals and in reality spending as much cash. You probably end up spending more on health care too. We complain about range-free natural eggs being $3 a dozen but do not blink at coke in our hands that cost $0.75. Should you spend more for better food, you will likely consume less of it, it will probably taste better, and you'll be more satisfied. So choose quality over quantity, nourishment over calories. Or as our grandparents used to say,"Better to pay the grocer than the doctor."

Eat When You Are Hungry, Not When You Are Bored

For a great deal of us, probably most of us, eating frequently has little to do with hunger. We eat when we get bored, or for amusement, or to comfort or benefit ourselves. Make a conscious effort to be conscious of why you are eating, and just eat when you're truly hungry. One older wives' test says"If you're not hungry enough to eat a apple, than you are not hungry." Eating out of boredom or for comfort is a very costly antidepressant.

Don't Drink Your Calories

This doesn't mean don't consume beverages that contain calories. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't have protein or meal replacement shakes. It means be careful of what you drink. It is far too easy to get an entire day's worth or even two days worth of calories from a single indulgent drink.

You even have to be careful with many so-called"health beverages." The restaurant industry can easily fool health-conscious consumers with labels like "reduced-calorie." There's nothing "reduced" about a smoothie with more calories than a Quarter Pounder or four times the sugar in a chocolate-frosted cake doughnut.

Do I really even need to mention cokes or sweet tea? Like P90X Creator and Fitness Guru, Tony Horton says,"Drink the water, people!"

Break the rules once in a while

Obsessing over food rules is bad for your happiness and probably for your health too. Far too many people fail because they promise themselves that they will never eat this or that only to break that promise. It is important to have a relaxed, healthy relationship with food. There will always be special occasions where it is okay to throw all of the rules out the window. What matters most is not the special occasion, but the everyday practice. It is one thing to sin, but quite another to live in sin. It is often said, "All things in moderation," but that is an easily abused philosophy. As Bo Bennett said:

The credo of the average American is"everything in moderation". This is the same average American that is about 20 pounds overweight and has a one out of four chance of dying from heart disease.

I prefer the addendum offered by Mark Twain:

"All things in moderation, including moderation."

The Bottom Line

Alright, so we know that we ought to eat healthy, the way God intended for us to eat. We all recognize that Krispy Kreme doughnuts are bad for us and fresh fruit is good for all of us. Knowing isn't the issue: doing it's another story. Why? Since we're in the practice of eating bad. We have to make a new custom of eating healthy. Because this is a lifestyle, it has to be doable. For starters, it is essential to be sensible. A fantastic general strategy is to use the 80/20 rule. If you consume fresh 80% of the time, you can afford to cheat 20% of this time. As for me, I tend to lean towards 90/10. Part of that is because the longer you eat fresh, the less you need to cheat, and the longer your body will allow you to know if you cheat. Not just by an added pound or two but by the way you feel. Once your body gets used to running on the high octane gas God intended, you will notice that it will not run too on the edible food-like substance. For more information click McDonald's Gift Card Balance

[emmyewesseyesee]

ema – extraordinary musical ambassador(s)

2017′s largely been a year of eclectic and fun live music for me – some 40+ gigs this year in fact – and the first week of october was particularly hectic with four in just five days. set on the middle wednesday was the mighty ema (aka erika m. anderson) rising high between the suburban grizzly bear at the start of the week and the northern litany and intrepid superorganism towards the end.

i’d last seen ema at the garage some three years ago and in the flesh she remains a truly spellbinding performer with her mesmeric presence just about managing to stave off any sense of apprehension or gawky self consciousness at having to perform her most assured and provocative manifesto of arresting noise and evocative message to the next room full of darkened strangers.

this time out, it’s a manifesto newly empowered by latest album, exile in the outer ring, a most incisive, striking and thought-provoking commentary on the politically and socially disenfranchised who find themselves not only on the fringes but also somehow vilified in a trump-electing yet rejecting america. the album is brooding, sinister, angry, staggeringly well observed and disarmingly humbling and empathetic in its stark portrayal and analysis of the people and circumstances faced in this outer ring – it rightly takes the lion’s share of the main set and will undoubtedly prove to be one of my top three albums of 2017 as it’s a truly epic and incredibly moving piece of work.

as if to highlight ema’s own triumph of temerity over timidity and her smart knack of narratively juxtaposing herself and her surroundings, the set itself opens with the woozily somber introspection of “where the darkness began” before giving way to the more transient who-care nihilism of “i wanna destroy”. in addition, both album and performance succeed in comprehensively spanning all viewpoints from me to you, them to us, the individual, the collective, the cause and the consequence, both instinct and impact and plenty in between, demonstrating an incredibly deft and attuned ability to position herself as first, second and third person subject, narrator and observer with equal aplomb. whether presenting her own demons or others’ struggles, anderson’s delivery comes across as utterly genuine, compelling and convincing, her sympathetic instrumentation and eloquent intonation allowing the listener to truly confront these observations, opinions, sentiments and sensations themselves for real.

for those open-minded and willing enough to listen and learn, this range and voracity of storytelling make for a most insightful, instructive, educational and evocative experience, with ema your generous teacher, your (very) high priestess and on-stage sage, your guide and mentor through her suburban sprawl. she takes her time, she provides succinct explanations with clarity and patience, she uses both smart metaphor and personal case study as support material, and thereby captivates her audience with consummate vigour, rigour and revelation.

aside from her sheer musical and oratory prowess, one thing you notice about anderson is how she views herself as part of the societal mainframe while challenging us all to confront our own opinions, prejudices, responsibilities and actions. it’s this precise and perceptive addition of perspective that gives such power and authority to her words. moreover, in a world where we increasingly look to define ourselves purely by the relativity of what we definitely (and defiantly) are not, and rush to castigate anyone who might dare to proffer any outspoken opinion of their own (never once pausing a moment to consider any context or circumstance which may have led to another person’s view), it’s refreshing to hear from someone who is not only confident enough to express their own innermost feelings and thoughts, but humble, compassionate and ultimately interested and invested enough to consider the reasons why others might think, feel and do the things that they do.

a case for the extraordinary musical ambassador…

it was probably a combination of ema’s erudite ability to engage her audience in such a way alongside my own general disdain for the current state of social and political debate in the world right now (plus a couple of cheeky ciders) that prompted this post and the idea of anderson and other touring musicians in the role of extraordinary musical ambassador.

as the wonderfully discerning comedian daniel kitson has previously proposed, we tend as a species to “live in our lives” yet merely to “exist in the world”, with those occasions where our lives “bump into each other” becoming evermore fleeting as we prefer instead to ignore one another via our head-down hand-helds while frequently resorting to the self-same devices to frequently lambast  and knee-jerk pronounce on each other without the slightest rhyme, reason, respect or reflection – increasingly “because i can, i will, and everyone else is doing it, so i’m clearly definitely right”. against such a backdrop of reactionary venom and pervasive outrage, it’s little surprise that our capacity for debate has atrophied to such primitive, divisive, vitriolic and downright offensive levels.

sadly faced with this combination of ignorant hostility and stubborn intransigence, our respective positions become yet more entrenched, our resolve yet steelier, our denial of any potential evidence to the contrary utterly impenetrable, as we resort to playground name-calling and abusive undermining from the relative comfort of our blinkered, fortified, self-serving echo-chambers. we function as if the world exists in spite of us, as if we’re merely its disgruntled (and no doubt delayed – yet again, dammit!) passengers, firing off our “the service on this planet is an absolute disgrace!” volleys with impunity in the vain hope that they’ll make things better. they won’t. and in the meantime, we’ve lost or simply chosen to dispense with the patience,  diplomacy, wisdom, tolerance and understanding to see things from a different point of view.

i remember barack obama’s farewell address with great fondness, not least because amidst all the wailing and gnashing of teeth at the election outcome, he rose above it with his signature statesmanship, calm, generosity and class. i also remember it for his most valuable and seemingly prescient closing warnings and calls-to-action: firstly he called for the upholding of healthy debate and positive discourse to engaging with those with different viewpoints and ideas, warning of the dangers of “corrosive political dialogue” and the “alienation” of certain portions of the country that might hold contrary beliefs; secondly, he spoke of the importance of participation, face-to-face dialogue and action in really making a difference.

“if you’re tired of arguing with strangers on the internet, try talking with one of them in real life”

yet one year on from that speech with the incoming administration having been largely built on the flimsy foundations of brash platitudes, fake-news rhetoric and late-night tweets, one might argue that the populous or democratic opposition has singularly failed to heed his advice, falling instead for this meagre bait and the seductive lure of each chance to be indignant, outraged and contemptuous anew via the same shallow, inciteful and anonymous channels, without taking the time to find out more or engage in any form of constructive or meaningful debate. this breeds stasis and increasing mistrust, whereas if we truly desire change, ultimately we have to play our part, to get involved, to listen and learn and engage – on other people’s terms – because real change demands this of us.

in the meantime, our inaugural extraordinary musical ambassador has taken it upon herself to present a thoroughly honest, engaging and affecting expression on the state of the forgotten in this suburban exile, and taken it out on tour to share with the world at large – no doubt including those more liberal hand-wringers who inhabit their own outer ring of the disunited states within their bubble of blissful ignorance, assumed superiority, and implicit disdain for those less fortunate at the beating heart of the country. she has listened to her surroundings, looked inside her heart, offered up her views, and generously shared her words and song and ideas to many people around the world.

why we need them more than ever…

in assessing this vital contribution, i’d go as far as to say that our extraordinary musical ambassadors are largely better equipped than most of our elected officials to provide this level of insight in appraising the pervading human condition and its relative health, happiness, misery or hardship.

where our politicians tend to fear and avoid ‘the great unwashed’, our emas will tend to operate at at the coal-face, down at the underbelly, amongst the misfits, the disenfranchised, the creators, the passionate, the young and importantly (and perhaps fortunately) the future shapers of our planet, even throwing  themselves directly into their arms with implicit trust in their heartfelt connection and fervent support. they enjoy a healthy and emotional dialogue with their audiences, often meeting them face-to-face before or after the gig to share stories, trade wares and touch lives. of course, the higher echelons of rockstar might look to build walls of protective entourage around them, but deep down these emas and their followers thrive on human connection and the vital intersection of people, ideas, creativity, emotion and exchange.

but perhaps the most telling credentials that our extraordinary musical ambassadors possess are actually the ambassadorial requirements of frequent travel and non-judgemental tolerance to go with this innate approachability and exchange. on tour, they will often arrive in a town overnight, spend the next day fast-experiencing it (often via the social network suggestions of its residents), give themselves and their ideas over to its people that evening, before late-night / early-morning disembarkation for the next far-flung destination. they land, they assimilate, they propagate daily, soaking each new experience up like a sponge to inform their wider perspectives and incorporate into their future art and exchange. indeed, they witness such diversity and warmth from such a wide range of people (admittedly connected through their love of the artist) and locations that it gives them an unprecedented view of the state of society at large and an unrivalled ability to understand the populous’s pervading themes, assess the relative mood and circumstances of countries and individual towns within those countries, and share ideas and inspiration quickly and emotionally around the globe – in person.

in a world where we are increasingly and immediately connected to this rich tapestry of interrelated experience, we somehow find ourselves strangely lacking in empathy towards those elements of it that we simply cannot abide. it seems counter-intuitive: to be better connected and yet lesser connected than ever before. perhaps then it is time for these extraordinary musical ambassadors to set the example not only to the populous but to the powers-that-be for a progressive culture that is far more humble, inspiring, empowering, embracing, connected, exchanging and conversing rather than one based on bluster, fear, rhetoric, difference, control, division and greed. and if music can teach us anything, it must surely be to listen, to accept, to enjoy, to share, to get involved, to see things from a different point-of-view and try to understand. so get amongst it, listen to something new, and reach out to other people, because they might like what you hear. after all, true progress can only be achieved by improving our connections, expanding our horizons, and better understanding and appreciating each other. we all need to take responsibility for that.

if you’ve made it this far, thank you for your patience in reading these rather expansive words. as a reward, i’ll leave you with a couple of tracks from exile in the outer ring below: the delicately moving elemental dismantling of “blood and chalk” and the disturbingly pounding menace of “breathalyzer”. as a bonus, should you wish to listen to a track from each of the artists whose gigs i’ve attended this year, you can do so courtesy of emm-yew-ess-eye-see's 2017 live playlist here. enjoy!

ps thank you and credits to andré haberman for the ema gig photos for neølyd (münchen, sep. 2017)

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Why Do Men Cheat on Their Loved Ones and What They Actually Think

Now, now, before you get all “woman cheat too” and “this is a sexist subject” on me, I must disclose the fact that I agree with you. But statistically and historically, women have been asking the question, “why do men cheat?” since the beginning of the ages, apparently to no avail.

Are men more likely to cheat? Well, sadly, the answer is yes. But perhaps we can try to better understand this occurrence before we crucify the male species for their shortcomings.

Statistically speaking, men do cheat more than women. But not as many men as you may think.

It all comes down to the numbers. This whole topic is a hard pill to swallow, but rest assured, it actually isn’t as bad as you may predict. Now this all breaks down to a matter of relativity, what do you consider cheating? If you break it down on a purely physical and emotional level (leaving out the multitude of complications that arise from the internet) the statistics aren’t as bad as you may think!

According to data derived from the National Opinion Research Center, Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, Rutgers University, and a selection of other credible sources, what we feared remains to be true;[1] men do cheat more. But not by much.

In the data allotted, it has been found that:

An astonishingly low number of men in committed relationships admit to cheating.

Only 21% admit to doing so. Much lower than you thought, huh? Well you must consider that this is a matter of good will. Most cheaters will never admit to doing so, and if they do they’re either not afraid of being caught or have already informed their partners.

Most men would consider cheating if they thought that they would not get caught.

At 76% this rate is alarmingly high, but then again we’re only considering the imagination at work. The classic cliché, “you can look, but don’t touch” is the pinnacle of this point.

Cheating does not always stem from unhealthy relationships.

56% of the men who admitted to cheating also reported being content in their current relationships, and this was not a factor for their decision to cheat.

Monogamy, are we as humans meant to stay with one mate for life?

Sorry to break it to some of you die-hard romantics, but most experts say no. Only 3-5% of the remaining 5,000 mammals living on planet Earth (including humans) spend the entirety of their lives with solely one mate.

From an evolutionary perspective, men are more likely to engage in what is known as extramarital sex, for the purpose of “spreading their seed” and producing as much offspring as is naturally possible. Our closest ancestors the primates practice this form of mating, where the strongest male gets first choice of his supple mates. This plays into the ideal that men tend to experience more emotions of threatened territory or ego, rather than affection and intimacy.

Expert Jane Lancaster, an evolutionary anthropologist from the University of New Mexico believes that the monogamous partnership between men and women is only for the good of the offspring.

“The human species has evolved to make commitments between males and females in regards to raising their offspring, so this is a bond. However that bond can fit into all kinds of marriage patterns – polygyny, single parenthood, monogamy.”

How do you know if your man is cheating?

There are a few tell-tale signs to know if your man is sniffing around where he shouldn’t be. I’ve got to tell you, if you’re having suspicions and feel a need to dig; you’re probably right and need to realize you deserve better. But these are a few sure-fire ways to know.

He won’t show you his phone. It’s not even that he doesn’t give you his password. It might just be an indication that he feels the need to lock it around you. And if he seems to get antsy if you hold it a bit too long while scrolling for pictures, then you know something’s up.

Sudden change in interest. It seems that out of nowhere he’s distracted, and is creating some distance between you. There’s a possibility someone else may have caught his attention. Go with your gut instinct, it’s usually right.

You catch him lying. About where he’s been or who he was with. Unless he’s planning a surprise party for you, he has no reason to be sneaky.

He accuses you. This behavior is definitely a red flag if it starts out of nowhere. People only suspect what they themselves would do.

He clears his browser history. There are many few good reasons to do this. Maybe he’s just into weird porn? But that just opens a whole other can of worms.

He’s glued to his phone. Or the internet in general. How can anything in the virtual world be at all interesting when his QUEEN is sitting just next to him?

There is no good reason to cheat, but everyone has their reasons.

A quick refresh: there’s an unsettling array of reasons why men go out and cheat. And none of them are good reasons. But in the moment, they may feel justifiable to the individual. Perhaps if we could gain a better grasp on this fluke in human behavior, we can cope with it better when it happens to us. So why do men cheat?

1. The Illusion of Variety

As soon as you sign online you’re prompted with ads to “Meet Singles in Your Area” or the newest dating app. Perhaps they’re a social media guru, with hordes of literal followers worshiping their every move. There is an abundance of supposed variety on the internet. Because of this no man feels that he has to settle, and his next “Tinderella” is about to slide in his DM’s.

2. He’s A Puddle of Insecurity

He has something to prove. Mainly to himself. He doesn’t feel attractive. Or perhaps he’s been out of the dating game so long he needs to feel like “he’s still got it.”

3. Boredom

He feels like he needs something more sexually from his partner that they’re just not capable of giving. Or perhaps the relationship has hit a lull and the sex drive just isn’t kicking into gear. This is his way of pulling away in hopes that it will spice things up again, even if it’s only on his end.

4. Deviancy

Some people are just into weird things. However they came to acquire their quirky little fetish, they may feel that it’s just too weird for their partner. Instead of freaking them out, they act out their fantasies on paid company, or someone easy who doesn’t mind turning up the intensity.

5. They’re a F*** Boy

Pardon my language, but it has to be said. This turn of phrase has become alarmingly common in our hook up culture; and is somewhat encouraged. A F*** Boy is someone who does not intend on committing, and relishes in playing on people’s emotions to achieve sexual gratification.

They typically have a rotation of sexual partners, ranked in order of their appeal. These people are toxic. Stay away.

6. Immaturity

They have not yet reached a point where they prioritize honestly and loyalty. There’s a chance they never will.

7. Damaged

Whatever it is that hurt them, be it abuse during upbringing, or a bad relationship experience, they numb the pain with sexual gratification. They will never allow themselves to fully trust another individual, and therefore they cannot fully commit to them.

8. Skewed Concept of Love

They have not yet deciphered the different between being infatuated and being in-love. During the infatuation period everything the person does and says is intoxicating, exciting, and romantic. After a while the chemicals and hormones start to die down, and what you’re left with is raw intimacy. Many can’t hack it when it gets real, so they look for the idealistic romance elsewhere.

9. Addiction

They actually suffer from addiction. Perhaps they cheat when they are under the influence of their poison of choice, and quite literally cannot control their actions. Or maybe they do have their addiction under control, but use sex as a form of release. Sex itself can be an addiction.

10. He’s Leaving You

Maybe he’s not ready to leave yet, but he’s testing the waters; testing to see what’s out there. Some men have a real issue with being alone, so they like to have something on the back-burner to make the transition a bit more smooth.

11. Revenge

He’s mad at you for something, whatever it may be. And now you’re going to pay. He’s rectifying the situation by throwing away his relationship. Hey, whatever works.

Should you stay, or should you go?

Girl, do I even have to tell you? Dump him! I know, he’s damaged. I know, you want to fix him. I know, no one understands how he acts when it’s just you two alone. I’ve heard it all. I’ve said it all. But if you absolutely insist on going through the motions and giving this scrub another chance, here are a few suggestions:

Therapy. If you are absolutely, positively intent on saving this relationship, then this is your best bet. In this environment, you can have an expert mediate and interpret what you expose during your sessions and how it effects your relationship. If both participants are willing to work for it, the relationship can be saved.

Take a Break. Obviously he doesn’t appreciate what he has, so show him what he’s losing! Take a break to explore yourself, heal, discover your self-worth, and take a look around if you know what I mean. Once he realizes he can’t live without you he’ll come crawling right back. But the question is, will you want him?

Hall Pass. It’s only fair right? For the majority, this method probably won’t save your relationship. But for some it’s just the ticket! You deserve a free pass to even the scale.

Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

Reference

[1]^Credit Donkey: Infidelity Statistics: 23 Eye-Opening Truths

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[trendingnewsb]

Why Do Men Cheat on Their Loved Ones and What They Actually Think

Now, now, before you get all “woman cheat too” and “this is a sexist subject” on me, I must disclose the fact that I agree with you. But statistically and historically, women have been asking the question, “why do men cheat?” since the beginning of the ages, apparently to no avail.

Are men more likely to cheat? Well, sadly, the answer is yes. But perhaps we can try to better understand this occurrence before we crucify the male species for their shortcomings.

Statistically speaking, men do cheat more than women. But not as many men as you may think.

It all comes down to the numbers. This whole topic is a hard pill to swallow, but rest assured, it actually isn’t as bad as you may predict. Now this all breaks down to a matter of relativity, what do you consider cheating? If you break it down on a purely physical and emotional level (leaving out the multitude of complications that arise from the internet) the statistics aren’t as bad as you may think!

According to data derived from the National Opinion Research Center, Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, Rutgers University, and a selection of other credible sources, what we feared remains to be true;[1] men do cheat more. But not by much.

In the data allotted, it has been found that:

An astonishingly low number of men in committed relationships admit to cheating.

Only 21% admit to doing so. Much lower than you thought, huh? Well you must consider that this is a matter of good will. Most cheaters will never admit to doing so, and if they do they’re either not afraid of being caught or have already informed their partners.

Most men would consider cheating if they thought that they would not get caught.

At 76% this rate is alarmingly high, but then again we’re only considering the imagination at work. The classic cliché, “you can look, but don’t touch” is the pinnacle of this point.

Cheating does not always stem from unhealthy relationships.

56% of the men who admitted to cheating also reported being content in their current relationships, and this was not a factor for their decision to cheat.

Monogamy, are we as humans meant to stay with one mate for life?

Sorry to break it to some of you die-hard romantics, but most experts say no. Only 3-5% of the remaining 5,000 mammals living on planet Earth (including humans) spend the entirety of their lives with solely one mate.

From an evolutionary perspective, men are more likely to engage in what is known as extramarital sex, for the purpose of “spreading their seed” and producing as much offspring as is naturally possible. Our closest ancestors the primates practice this form of mating, where the strongest male gets first choice of his supple mates. This plays into the ideal that men tend to experience more emotions of threatened territory or ego, rather than affection and intimacy.

Expert Jane Lancaster, an evolutionary anthropologist from the University of New Mexico believes that the monogamous partnership between men and women is only for the good of the offspring.

“The human species has evolved to make commitments between males and females in regards to raising their offspring, so this is a bond. However that bond can fit into all kinds of marriage patterns – polygyny, single parenthood, monogamy.”

How do you know if your man is cheating?

There are a few tell-tale signs to know if your man is sniffing around where he shouldn’t be. I’ve got to tell you, if you’re having suspicions and feel a need to dig; you’re probably right and need to realize you deserve better. But these are a few sure-fire ways to know.

He won’t show you his phone. It’s not even that he doesn’t give you his password. It might just be an indication that he feels the need to lock it around you. And if he seems to get antsy if you hold it a bit too long while scrolling for pictures, then you know something’s up.

Sudden change in interest. It seems that out of nowhere he’s distracted, and is creating some distance between you. There’s a possibility someone else may have caught his attention. Go with your gut instinct, it’s usually right.

You catch him lying. About where he’s been or who he was with. Unless he’s planning a surprise party for you, he has no reason to be sneaky.

He accuses you. This behavior is definitely a red flag if it starts out of nowhere. People only suspect what they themselves would do.

He clears his browser history. There are many few good reasons to do this. Maybe he’s just into weird porn? But that just opens a whole other can of worms.

He’s glued to his phone. Or the internet in general. How can anything in the virtual world be at all interesting when his QUEEN is sitting just next to him?

There is no good reason to cheat, but everyone has their reasons.

A quick refresh: there’s an unsettling array of reasons why men go out and cheat. And none of them are good reasons. But in the moment, they may feel justifiable to the individual. Perhaps if we could gain a better grasp on this fluke in human behavior, we can cope with it better when it happens to us. So why do men cheat?

1. The Illusion of Variety

As soon as you sign online you’re prompted with ads to “Meet Singles in Your Area” or the newest dating app. Perhaps they’re a social media guru, with hordes of literal followers worshiping their every move. There is an abundance of supposed variety on the internet. Because of this no man feels that he has to settle, and his next “Tinderella” is about to slide in his DM’s.

2. He’s A Puddle of Insecurity

He has something to prove. Mainly to himself. He doesn’t feel attractive. Or perhaps he’s been out of the dating game so long he needs to feel like “he’s still got it.”

3. Boredom

He feels like he needs something more sexually from his partner that they’re just not capable of giving. Or perhaps the relationship has hit a lull and the sex drive just isn’t kicking into gear. This is his way of pulling away in hopes that it will spice things up again, even if it’s only on his end.

4. Deviancy

Some people are just into weird things. However they came to acquire their quirky little fetish, they may feel that it’s just too weird for their partner. Instead of freaking them out, they act out their fantasies on paid company, or someone easy who doesn’t mind turning up the intensity.

5. They’re a F*** Boy

Pardon my language, but it has to be said. This turn of phrase has become alarmingly common in our hook up culture; and is somewhat encouraged. A F*** Boy is someone who does not intend on committing, and relishes in playing on people’s emotions to achieve sexual gratification.

They typically have a rotation of sexual partners, ranked in order of their appeal. These people are toxic. Stay away.

6. Immaturity

They have not yet reached a point where they prioritize honestly and loyalty. There’s a chance they never will.

7. Damaged

Whatever it is that hurt them, be it abuse during upbringing, or a bad relationship experience, they numb the pain with sexual gratification. They will never allow themselves to fully trust another individual, and therefore they cannot fully commit to them.

8. Skewed Concept of Love

They have not yet deciphered the different between being infatuated and being in-love. During the infatuation period everything the person does and says is intoxicating, exciting, and romantic. After a while the chemicals and hormones start to die down, and what you’re left with is raw intimacy. Many can’t hack it when it gets real, so they look for the idealistic romance elsewhere.

9. Addiction

They actually suffer from addiction. Perhaps they cheat when they are under the influence of their poison of choice, and quite literally cannot control their actions. Or maybe they do have their addiction under control, but use sex as a form of release. Sex itself can be an addiction.

10. He’s Leaving You

Maybe he’s not ready to leave yet, but he’s testing the waters; testing to see what’s out there. Some men have a real issue with being alone, so they like to have something on the back-burner to make the transition a bit more smooth.

11. Revenge

He’s mad at you for something, whatever it may be. And now you’re going to pay. He’s rectifying the situation by throwing away his relationship. Hey, whatever works.

Should you stay, or should you go?

Girl, do I even have to tell you? Dump him! I know, he’s damaged. I know, you want to fix him. I know, no one understands how he acts when it’s just you two alone. I’ve heard it all. I’ve said it all. But if you absolutely insist on going through the motions and giving this scrub another chance, here are a few suggestions:

Therapy. If you are absolutely, positively intent on saving this relationship, then this is your best bet. In this environment, you can have an expert mediate and interpret what you expose during your sessions and how it effects your relationship. If both participants are willing to work for it, the relationship can be saved.

Take a Break. Obviously he doesn’t appreciate what he has, so show him what he’s losing! Take a break to explore yourself, heal, discover your self-worth, and take a look around if you know what I mean. Once he realizes he can’t live without you he’ll come crawling right back. But the question is, will you want him?

Hall Pass. It’s only fair right? For the majority, this method probably won’t save your relationship. But for some it’s just the ticket! You deserve a free pass to even the scale.

Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

Reference

[1]^Credit Donkey: Infidelity Statistics: 23 Eye-Opening Truths

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