#throwback to the 2010s for us olds I guess

[jetkast]

Kevin Alejandro, voice of Jayce Talis, played a gay nurse in HBO's True Blood over a decade ago. The relationship between Jesus and Lafayette was one of my favorite parts of the show. Rest in peace, Nelsan Ellis, Lafayette will always be one of my favorite characters of all time, and I wish we could have seen you live long and thrive.

And then, here Kevin Alejandro is again in 2011 with such a genuine message to queer people struggling.

"I'm just saying that things can change, and it does get better, and if you stick around to watch that happen, we'll all be better because of it. So reach out."

It's just been coming to mind as the Arcane fixation sticks around... Kevin Alejandro plays an underrated side character in nearly everything I've seen him in, and he is also such a good presence. I love the delivery he brings to Jayce, his voice adds so much to the character.

Perhaps I have an ulterior motive related to Kevin Alejandro's relationship to sexuality (iirc he has a wife and kids) as far as how I personally read his characters, as a bisexual myself... well. I am nothing but transparent.

[grink]

local live music has the capacity to make me so so so sad cuz i kinda just left it all behind. its all i used to think about, i couldve never left ohio, i could still be playing music trying my hardest to make it all work, but i decided to leave and go to college and get a stupid corporate job and move to a big city and live out my 18 year old boy dream and this shit is so depressing like. i live right next to the club. every friday they play 2010s throwbacks. most of the time its empty and all i hear outside my window is occasional screaming and shouting from the extremely hotheaded people walking by. theres no place sadder than the club. and god theres nothing worse to be surrounded by than concrete. i dont just wanna see a few trees that fit between buildings, i wanna see a forest. i havent seen a fucking forest in years. we like dont even have bugs here. i wanna walk in the river and get my shoes wet. i wanna look for the rocks that arent too slippery to stand on. maybe fuck up a bit and slip anyways and get some little cuts or scrapes that'll scar and be stories for me forever. i wanna climb a tree. i wanna see stars. i wanna feel like im at home somewhere. dont get me wrong this city is my home now and i have a few things to really love here, i guess im just venting some totally non-actionable emotions cuz its friday again for the millionth week in a row and im sitting here crying cuz its what i do best. grass is always greener etc etc

[goboymusic]

I’ve been peripherally watching a #ResidentEvil 4 Remake playthrough while working on song 125, and it is hands down the most visually entertaining game I’ve ever watched. Horrific and bonkers epic.

This song rotates between 3 distinct styles: #techno (starts at 0:14), #metalcore (starts at 0:42), and #duelingguitars (starts at 1:09).

The intro does what many intros do: set the key and tempo. That way the listener isn’t scrambling to figure out what they’re hearing when the meat of the song begins.

About the techno segment at 0:14 - the synth melody was taken from the bridge in “Partycore (song 18).” Once in a while I’ll reuse old melodies if I don’t think they were utilized well enough the first time around (i.e. reusing the verse melody of “Sex Song” for the verse melody of “Guess How Much I Care”). The rhythm synth underneath the melody was inspired by Darude’s “Sandstorm”.

About the metalcore segment at 0:42 - needless to say this segment was inspired by the metalcore genre (which consumed much of my life in high school), with the aggressive double kick drumming and bass / rhythm synth landing on each kick. I was part of a metalcore band during my teen years and had some experience songwriting in that genre. The “and here we go bitch” and “suck my dick” vocals are mine with a plugin that drops the pitch and formant.

About the dueling guitar segment at 1:09 - the dueling guitars were inspired by DragonForce and Avenged Sevenfold, two of the best dueling guitar bands out there (August Burns Red is also amazing at it). Surprise surprise, this song doesn’t use guitars. Instead, a synthesizer was tweaked until it sounded like a guitar. The results were so pleasing that the same synth has been used in numerous songs since then, the most recent being “Wayne Henley.”

"Justin Timberbaked" or "Dank Sinatra.” The title was a toss up between the two, both of which combine a celebrity name with cannabis lingo. Typical late teen / young adult humor of the early 2010s.

“Dank Sinatra” has consistently been the 3rd most popular song on GoBoy 2, with "Zombies vs. Aliens" in 2nd place and "We Came For Blood" in 1st.

At the time of making ”Dank Sinatra,” the #metalcore genre was an enormous passion of mine. That said, the politics of forming and maintaining a metalcore band was something that I had experienced in the past, and I didn’t want to experience it again, especially after the fallout from the N3RD live band (explained in post 15). Rather than recruiting a drummer and guitarist for the metalcore inspired breakdowns in “Dank Sinatra,” the manipulation of an electronic beat and dubstep wobble bass seemed like a more optimal route, as it would only require computer / DJ equipment for live shows, thus allowing me to maintain independence and creative freedom. This idea of using wobble bass instead of guitars for metalcore-esque breakdowns would be utilized for “Dank Sinatra,” along with other songs on GoBoy 1 and 2 (excerpts from post 18).

The wobble bass was created by automating rapid changes in the formant of a techno synth.

Regarding the change from pop music to mostly instrumental music in GoBoy 2: “Throwback (Song 23)” (and it’s music video) enraged my relatives, whom I grew up in a neighborhood with, and who had tremendous influence over my life at the time (explained in post 23). A frenzy of angry emails, metaphorical pitchforks, torches, hulk rage. Being a young, neurotic kid, the backlash from them was too much for me to handle at the time, and to exit their spotlight, I halted further production of pop songs and ultimately pulled the music video and songs 1-23 (GoBoy 1) from the internet (excerpts from post 23).

To the creative kids who find themselves surrounded by people who want to halt or control their creative endeavors, best of luck. I want to say “find a way out,” but that might result in further deterioration of your creative output. If you were born into an environment where you’re free to explore your creativity without constraints, you’ll never know how lucky you are (excerpts from post 23).

After the “Throwback” debacle, focus would be shifted towards creating instrumental songs that would fly under the radar (GoBoy 2, songs 24-35). Fly under the radar they did. Following GoBoy 2, I quit music for seven years. Songs 1-23 wouldn't be reuploaded until 2020. Why does this matter? It doesn't (excerpts from post 23).

[orphancookie69]

Who Does It Better: Survivor or Big Brother?

I recently caught an old old old season of Big Brother on Netflix. My partner said it was based on the other show, Survivor. I was like no, I love Survivor-I see no similarities. But then I kept watching, and thinking, and holy heck-they might be right. 

My plan for this post, look into each show from a research point of view and then compare! 

Survivor

How does it work? 

“Survivor places a group of strangers in an isolated location, where they must provide food, fire, and shelter for themselves. The contestants compete in challenges including testing the contestants' physical ability like running and swimming or their mental abilities like puzzles and endurance challenges for rewards and immunity from elimination. The contestants are progressively eliminated from the game as they are voted out by their fellow contestants until only one remains and is given the title of "Sole Survivor" and is awarded the grand prize of US$1,000,000 ($2,000,000 in Winners at War).” More info here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Survivor_(American_TV_series)

Can you believe that there is 44 seasons? Most recent season being from 2023. It has international origins before being adopted by Americans. I love how versatile of the game it is. Social, get your peers to keep you around-Physical, winning and surviving-Mental, removing all the extra in life and getting down to brass tact. I have really enjoyed any season I can catch on Netflix. 

Big Brother

13 people move into a house, or a stage house with an audience. Through a competition they compete for food privileges, HoH (head of household), and POV (power of veto). Head of household moves upstairs for a week to the master suite, customized to the HoH each week. The HoH nominates two people to go up on the voting block, and then all/some compete for the PoV. They can use it on themselves (if on the block), not at all, or on someone on the block. Each week one, sometimes two in a double elimination, get eliminated. Towards the second half of the season, eliminated players go to the Juror House and become the jury. It continues for almost 3 months until there is two left. A jury of 7 vote for who wins the final amount of money. Along the way is other ways to win money...such as big brother gold bars, america’s player, and coming in second place. I think there are vacation and car prizes along the way too. The house is so quiche, and apparently it changes every season.

I watched Season 10, filmed in 2010. Man, as a gal turning 30 something this year, some of the makeup and fashion trends were such a throwback. I was excited to see old hosting footage of Julie Chen, who hosted the newest season of The Mole on Netflix in recent years. I thought that it was a joke in the title, like “Big Brother is always watching you” which was also a throwback to a book in the 80′s about a controlling government. There are 25 seasons of Big Brother, as of 2022, and is in the process of being rebooted. The world of today is so much more different than the world of 2000/1999, so I would not be shocked if it did not come back. Did you know the original show came from the Netherlands? While this is not a show I could see myself on, in the right game developer’s hands...it would be one hell of a video game.  

More info here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Brother_(American_TV_series)

Compare & Contrast: 

Before I compare, can I see some similarities? Kind of, there someone voted away each week, social game, physical game, mental game, surprises left and right. If Survivor was first, and by the time there was 19 seasons-someone made Big Brother, well I would guess they watched it as a kid-but was not active enough to be in the wild and did a “hollywood stage home” version of Survivor. Would I have thought that before seeing both? No, but after some interesting and fun research, yeah one is not unlike the other. But who does it better? 

I will add here, this is my opinion and everyone is entitled to one. I source information where I can. I have to say, based on the fact that I am a strong nature loving DIY person-I think Survivor does it better. (You will also find that originals vs remakes, I tend to like the originals more in songs.) But I do love that it inspired something that makes people of all kinds of nature to be able to participate in the game model. 

Also, really smart of Netflix to have “new” content that is recycled older content that used to be aired on TV via Cable. Have you caught any seasons of either? Which one do you favor? Inquiring Minds Want To Know! 

[nitrateglow]

Favorite film discoveries of 2019

Every year, my new-to-me favorites list always shocks me in some way. This year, the sheer amount of movies made in the 2010s on display is INSANE by my standards. Of course, most of the modern movies here are throwbacks or tributes to older styles of cinema, so maybe it’s not that shocking in the long run.

Another running trend this year: movies that are old but not as dated as we would wish. Many of the older films here deal with xenophobia and political strife in ways that still feel shockingly prescient today-- the more things change...

ONCE UPON A TIME... IN HOLLYWOOD (DIR. QUENTIN TARANTINO, 2019)

I never thought the day would come where my favorite movie of the year would actually be made after the 1970s, let alone by Quentin Tarantino. Then again, this movie is all about the end of Old Hollywood as well as a big love letter to the 1960s, so maybe it’s not that shocking a state of affairs. I adored this movie, the level of detail, the laidback yet elegaic vibe, the comedy and the relationships between all the characters. It was one of those movies where I loved even the scenes where nothing seems to be happening at all-- I mean, who knew Brad Pitt feeding his dog and watching TV could be entertaining?? But it is and I can't wait to see this one again!

INTENTIONS OF MURDER (DIR. SHOHEI IMAMURA, 1964)

Intentions of Murder has an insane premise, one that runs the risk of being tasteless: a housewife in a miserable, exploitative marriage is raped by a sickly burglar during a home invasion. Even worse, she can’t shake him, as he’s suddenly infatuated and wants her to run away with him to the city. And weirder still: her current existence is so miserable that she’s TEMPTED. While abuse and rape are grim subjects for any story, Intentions is actually about a woman coming into her own and finally standing strong against all these men trying to use her. It’s a weird blend of drama and dark comedy, a truly savage satire on patriarchy and class-snobbery.

JOKER (DIR. TODD PHILLIPS, 2019)

I went into this movie expecting to think it was overhyped and when I first left the theater, I was all ready to say “it’s good but not THAT good.” But it ended up haunting me for weeks afterward, and I found myself thinking about how everything just tied up so well together, from the grotty urban hellscape which serves as the setting to Phoenix’s brilliant performance. It reminded me a lot of A Clockwork Orange in how intimate it lets you get to this violent man while never pretending he is someone to be glamorized or imitated.

SIMON (DIR. MARSHALL BRICKMAN, 1980)

How do I even describe Simon? Alan Arkin is brainwashed by a group of overpaid intellectuals into believing he is descended from an alien toaster. Then he gets a messiah complex and starts gathering disciples as he rails against television, condiment packets, and muzak. It’s a little uneven at times, sure, but the satire is really inspired. The whole thing is like a combination of Mel Brooks, Stanley Kubrick, and Woody Allen’s styles, and it is quite hilarious for those who thrive on cult oddities.

PEEPING TOM (DIR. MICHAEL POWELL, 1960)

Though it came out the same year as Hitchcock’s Psycho and has been nearly as influential for horror cinema, Peeping Tom remains underseen by everyone save for film theorists. And what a shame that is, because this movie is more frightening than Psycho. Sure, that may be because Psycho is so predominant in popular culture and just so influential that it no longer has the same shock value, but there’s something about Peeping Tom that gets under my skin, something sad, even disgusting. I felt dirty after watching it-- and this is 2019!

MIDNIGHT MARY (DIR. WILLIAM WELLMAN, 1933)

Loretta Young got one of her juiciest roles in this pre-code crime drama. Her Mary Martin is more than just a good girl forced into criminal circles-- she’s a complicated creature, compassionate and desperate and lonely and bitter and sensual all at once. This movie is a fast-paced, beautifully filmed ride, cloaked in that Depression-era cynicism that makes pre-code Hollywood of such interest to movie geeks the world over.

WILD BOYS OF THE ROAD (DIR. WILLIAM WELLMAN, 1933)

Wild Boys of the Road is a quintessential Depression-era movie, relentless in its bleakness and rage. That the main characters are all starving kids only looking for work makes their struggles all the harder to watch. William Wellman is quickly becoming one of my favorite directors: his gritty style and compact storytelling are just perfect for a ripped-from-the-headlines drama such as this. And the “happy” ending has one little moment that just knocks any smile you have right off your mug. Absolutely see this.

THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING, THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING (DIR. NORMAN JEWISON, 1966)

Sometimes, when you watch a movie only because a favorite actor is in it, you get subjected to pure trash like Free and Easy (oh, the things I do for Buster Keaton). Other times, you get cute gems like The Russians are Coming, The Russians are Coming, which, as you probably guessed, I mainly sought out for Alan Arkin. But the whole movie is hilarious, the best kind of farce comedy, populated by enjoyable characters and a sweet-tempered humanism that grounds the wackiness. While a little overlong, this movie is quite underrated-- and sadly, its satire of American xenophobia and Cold War panic is not as dated as we would like to believe.

ALL THE PRESIDENT’S MEN (DIR. ALAN J. PAKULA, 1976)

Who knew a political thriller where most people know the twist could be so intense and riveting? It’s about as nonsensical as feeling suspense when you watch a movie about the Titanic and hope the boat won’t sink-- but damn, it’s magical. All the President’s Men is real white-knuckle stuff, with Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman projecting both youthful excitement and deep panic as they proceed with their investigation. It scarcely seems to have aged at all.

WHISPER OF THE HEART (DIR. YOSHIFUMI KONDOU, 1995)

There’s a scene near the end of Whisper of the Heart where the protagonist Shizuku shows the finished first draft of her fantasy novel to her first reader, the grandpa of one of her schoolmates. She weeps because it isn’t the perfect image she had in her head, despite how hard she worked on it, but the old man tells her that it takes polishing and discipline to make the work come to its full potential. Few movies about artists are so honest about how hard it can be, how unsupportive others can be in their demand that everyone be “practical.” As a writer who struggles to create and constantly doubts herself, this movie spoke strongly to me. I recommend it to any creative person.

THE PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE (DIR. BRIAN DE PALMA, 1976)

I’d been wanting to see this movie since my high school phan days. Holy crap, is it WEIRDER than I could have ever imagined, a true camp masterpiece. I’m shocked it was never tuned into a stage show actually, but then again, we would miss those trippy camera angles and we wouldn’t have Paul Williams as one of the greatest villains of all time.

DUEL (DIR. STEVEN SPIELBERG, 1971)

When people talk about the best movies made in the “Hitchcock without Hitchcock directing” tradition, why is Duel so seldom mentioned? The scene in the cafe, packed with paranoid tension and tense camerawork, alone should qualify it. Duel is most known as the movie which put the young Steven Spielberg on the map. It’s quite different from his later work, grittier and less whimsical for sure. Even the ending seems almost nihilistic, depending on how you view it. But damn, if it isn’t fine filmmaking.

CAROL (DIR. TODD HAYNES, 2015)

This gorgeous throwback to Douglas Sirk melodramas is also one of the best romantic movies I’ve seen in a while. Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara have the sweetest, tenderest chemistry-- it was like seeing Lauren Bacall and Audrey Hepburn as love interests in a film. Unlike Sirk, there is little in the way of ripe melodrama here-- everything is underplayed, aching, mature. And I can say this is an adaptation that is better than the source book: it just feels so much warmer.

12 ANGRY MEN (DIR. SIDNEY LUMET, 1957

All I can say is that this was every bit equal to the hype. Common movie wisdom says people sitting and talking in a room is going to be boring on film, but movies like 12 Angry Men prove this is not so when you’ve got an excellently tense atmosphere, an inspired script, and a stable of fine actors to work with. Like The Russians are Coming, the Russians are Coming, this movie has not significantly aged-- much to society’s discredit.

A STAR IS BORN (DIR. GEORGE CUKOR, 1954)

Another movie I went into not expecting to love as much as I did. When movies from the 20s or 30s tended to get remakes in the 1950s, I always find them too garish and big, victims of glossy Cinemascope and overlong runtimes. Compared to the lean 1937 classic original, I expected sheer indulgence from this three-hour remake. Instead, I got my heart torn out all over again-- the longer runtime is used well, fleshing out the characters to a greater degree. Judy Garland and James Mason both give what might be the best efforts of their respective careers, and the satire of the celebrity machine remains as relevant and scathing as ever.

BLANCANIEVES (DIR. PABLO BERGER, 2012)

Oh, it feels like this movie was made for me specifically. It’s shot in gorgeous, expressionistic black-and-white. It’s set in the 1920s. It’s a clever adaptation of a classic fairy tale. It’s as funny and charming as it is bittersweet and macabre. Instead of more superhero movies, can we get more neo-silent movies like this? PLEASE?

THE FAVOURITE (DIR. YORGOS LANTHIMOS, 2018)

I’ve heard The Favourite described as a “bitchy lesbian Shakespeare play,” but this description, while a little true in terms of general tone, does not get to the heart of what makes this film brilliant. More than love or sex, this movie is about power-- particularly the corrupting influence of power. And it corrupts not only morals but love itself. Innocents become Machiavellian schemers. Lovers become sadomasochistic enemies. Good intentions turn to poison. This certainly isn’t a happy movie, but it is moving and, strangely enough, also hilarious. I was reminded of the chilly, satirical world of Kubrick’s Barry Lyndon more than once-- and for me, that is not a bad movie to be reminded of.

ON THE WATERFRONT (DIR. ELIA KAZAN, 1954)

Another classic that’s been on my list forever that I was delighted to find worthy of its reputation. It’s a classic tale of redemption and social justice, perfectly acted and shot. While I still prefer A Streetcar Named Desire as far as Kazan is concerned, this might be a better movie in the objective sense. Actually, more than even Brando, Karl Malden is the acting highlight for me-- he plays a priest torn between staying silent or truly speaking for the Gospel by demanding justice for the poor parish he serves. Just brilliant work.

KLUTE (DIR. ALAN J. PAKULA, 1971)

A perfect thriller, just about, and a great example of the “NYC is hell on earth” subgenre of the 1960s and 1970s. Jane Fonda is a revelation: she feels so real, not at all like a starlet trying to seem normal if you know what I mean.

KISS KISS BANG BANG (DIR. SHANE BLACK, 2005)

As far as subversive noir goes, this is the most entertaining. I would put it up there with The Big Lebowski as far as goofy takes on Raymond Chandler are concerned-- I don’t even really know what to make of it, but I laughed my ass off anytime I wasn’t going “WHAT???”

What were your favorite film discoveries in 2019?

[purplesurveys]

1105

surveys by seachaange

What do you do when someone is talking to you about something you don't care about? I listen and try to ask questions or add my own input so that they can see that even though I personally don’t care about the thing they’re talking about, I’m invested in them.

What is the best pizza place in your neighbourhood? Erm, we don’t really have a lot of independent pizza joints, actually. Most of the ones I see are chain restaurants like Pizza Hut and Domino’s. The best pizza I’ve had is from Vu’s at Marco Polo, but it’s been a whileeeee since I’ve had their food. Mama Lou’s pizza is also good.

Do you have Photoshop installed on your computer? I do but I only had it installed for school. I have no personal interest to learn it.

Are there any teachers you have that you are close with? I wouldn’t say that. I’m kinda chummy with one of my English teachers from high school - like he knew about me and Gab and supported us, I show my support for his art, we greet each other every now and then, etc - but we’re not ‘close.’

Do you have friends that play field hockey? No.

What about soccer? Not friends but I do know a number people who play football, yeah.

Do you think homosexuals are leading a bad lifestyle? This question aged like milk, didn’t it...

What do you think of the iPad? I remember when it blew up like crazy. It was such a revolutionary thing back when it was new, so much so that my dad even felt the need to buy one. It was fun when the hype lasted; but nowadays I don’t know people who would still seek out an iPad other than artists and law/med students, lmfao.

Do you put lotion on after you get out of the shower? I don’t.

Do you have any concerts on dvd? A lot, but they’re of concerts from a time when DVDs were still a thing. I haven’t had a new DVD in around 7-8 years.

Do you still have a VHS player? I think my parents have thrown theirs out already.

Has anyone ever given you a promise ring? No.

Do you send postcards to people when you go on vacation? I don’t. But aw, this made me remember when Jo did a summer exchange program in London and she sent postcards to Aya in the few months that she had been away. I thought that was sweet.

What do you think is the most comfortable shoe? Out of the pairs I have, my Onitsuka Tiger shoes for sure.

Have you seen Lady Gaga's music video for Telephone? That was suuuuuuch a big deal when it came out. Yes, I definitely have and I must’ve watched it a thousand times. Also rude, Beyoncé was in there too lol

If so, what do you think of it? It was so creative and a lot of fun to watch, especially for 2009 when artists weren’t exactly daring with music video concepts yet. I can’t believe they never collaborated again since.

What do you think of the septum piercing? It’s great.

Do you frequently skip class? Depends on my interest in the class/the professor, OR how tired I am that week. I skipped my psychology elective a lot because I didn’t think the instructor was all that great; and as much as I loved every single one of my history classes, there were a few sessions I voluntarily had to skip because I wasn’t doing mentally well. It really depends.

--

When you're really thirsty, what do you enjoy drinking most? Water. Anything else wouldn’t be able to quench my thirst as well.

What do you find inspirational in the world? I think it differs based on what I need to see at a given time, I guess. At this point in my life, I like hearing from people who have risen from their trust and abandonment issues, because it’s what I’ve been going through as well. I probably never would’ve found something like that inspirational, say, 6 months ago, so it really depends.

When hanging out with your bf or gf, what do you like doing most? I’m a very ‘let’s spend time in silence’ type of person. I cherished it the most when my ex and I would go to a coffee shop and work for hours, in complete and comfortable silence; or when I would be driving and no words would be exchanged for nearly the entire ride. Even though I stay quiet, in those moments I’m actually very happy. Of course new experiences are great too, but I personally enjoy the conventional ‘boring’ stuff the most when with a partner.

What do/did you think of your high school? Teeming with homophobia, bigotry, and just your typical Catholic gatekeepy judgmental environment. I look back at high school fondly because of the friends I made, not because of the toxic environment they nurtured in there.

What is the dirtiest rap song you have ever heard? I don’t listen to a lot of rap. But as an 11 year old listening to Nicki Minaj’s Itty Bitty Piggy, I was immediately traumatized lmao. I still can’t listen to that song.

What about a dirty song in any other genre? Uhhhhhhhhh probably Drunk in Love?? Lmaoooo I’d die for Beyoncé a million times but I always skip that song. My asexual ass just can’t deal.

What is a genre of music you simply can't stand? One of them is techno.

What is, in your opinion, the best way of dealing with a break up? Being kind to yourself.

What flavour of Doritos do you like best? I’ve only ever tried the nacho cheese flavor, but I love that one.

Where do you do your grocery shopping? I don’t do the grocery shopping in the family but my parents usually do it at SM or at this local store we have nearby.

Would you ever go to a comedy club? Yes, with a friend so I’d be more comfortable.

Do you think Victoria's Secret is overpriced? I haven’t been in one of their stores in a while, so I can’t really say.

Do you still have a VHS player? Again, I don’t think so.

Do you have a tumblr? :))))))

Why is it that photography is becoming a trend? So this survey was made in 2010 and I can definitely confirm it was a crazy huge trend lol. Even I got into it and asked my parents to get me a DSLR back then. Anyway, I think it was because during this time, DSLRs had been slowly becoming a thing? and they were kiiiiiiiinda cheap - at least cheap enough to be accessible to a large amount of people - so it allowed people to play with different styles that were very unfamiliar at the time, like light painting, fisheye, close-ups, etc. And then at one point everyone had DSLRs and it just wasn’t as enjoyable anymore because everyone was doing the same kinds of trendy shots lol.

What is the funniest movie you have ever seen? I’m gonna go with The Proposal - Sandra Bullock was gold in that movie.

Did you watch American Idol this past season? No. Do they still air new seasons of that?? I stopped watching when the same guitar-playing, country-singing white men kept winning.

If so, how did you feel about the winner? It’s been more than a decade since I last cared for the show.

Don't you hate it when one of your earbuds stops working? Sure.

Do you have a normal landline, or do you use MagicJack? Holy shit I have not heard of MagicJack in a goddamn WHILE lmao, what a throwback. We had one, I’m pretty sure...but I never knew what it was for.

Do you even use a house phone anymore? Landlines are still common in the Philippines. Are they not in other countries? Hahahaha.

Would you ever consider dating someone who lived across the country? If I loved, trusted, and was committed to them enough, yes.

What was the most expensive restaurant you've ever eaten at? I wasn’t able to track the name but I’m pretty sure it was the fine dining restaurant in our cruise trip that my parents treated me to for my birthday.

Do/did you take foods classes in high school? My school didn’t offer such a class, but we had home economics and we were occasionally taught how to cook and bake certain dishes.

Do you have a tattoo? No, not yet.

If you do, describe the pain you went thru when getting it done. Eugh this is what I’m scared of :((((

Do you enjoy making hemp necklaces and bracelets? I’ve never tried.

Have you ever watched the show Strangers With Candy? I’ve never even heard of it before, I’m sure.

What is your favourite bookstore? Fully Booked, because their collection is expansive, always complete, and they let you take a book of the shelves and read it if you’d like.

Have you ever used torrents? Mostly throughout high school. I did use a torrent to download Midsommar recently, though.

How can we tell if you are in a bad mood? I go quiet.

How are you when you're in a really good mood? Complete opposite - I will be bubbly and chatty, especially in instances when I’m not really expected to be.

Are you nice to everyone, even people you don't like? Yes.

When you're bored in class, what do you do? I seldom found myself bored in class because I’m constantly furiously taking notes. But if the prof themselves are very boring and there’s nothing to take notes about, I go ahead and check my social media either from my phone or laptop.

--

Would you rather go to Lollapalooza, Warped Tour, or Bonnaroo? As a teenager, I had always wanted to go to Warped Tour. As I’ve gotten older, though, the lineups for Lollapalooza have appealed to me more. Plus it’s in Chicago, soooooo a million more brownie points for that.

Do you have anything that is autographed? By who? Yeah, I have an autographed poster of AJ Lee. It was my most prized possession and I even placed it on a big picture frame and had it up on my wall for yearsssssssss, and then my mom had to take it down because of course it’s my mom and of course she had to do it.

Can you sleep when it's really hot? Welcome to summer months in the Philippines.

Do you know anyone who works at McDonald's? I think Carley does, but idk if that’s changed in the last few months. I don’t stay updated about her life, haven’t been for years.

Do you have a debit card? Yes.

What bank do you (or your family) use? I am not sharing that lol.

Would you ever hitchhike? I think I’m mostly open to it, though I will say I’ve read enough stories about murders that involve hitchhiking that make me a little scared of the idea, hahah.

Have you ever been kayaking? We did a boat thing in Palawan a few years ago but I’m not sure if that was kayaking or canoeing. Anywho, the experience was breathtaking.

Do you have a problem with swimming in a pond or lake? In the context of my country, yeah, because our natural bodies of water aren’t exactly...the cleanest, lmao. I’d feel much more comfortable swimming in a private beach.

Does anyone in your family go hunting or fishing? Nope. But maybe some of my relatives living in the US do?? Idk for sure.

What do/did you do when someone you barely knew asks you to sign their yearbook? We don’t really practice that. Only the really expensive, bougie, international schools here that have foreign students to begin with do that, I think.

In high school are you/were you in the plays and musicals? No.

Do you have a birdbath in your yard? No, we don’t.

Is the house you live in old or new? It’s fairly new; we had it first built in 2005 and we officially moved in 2008.

Where do you go when you need a new pair of sneakers? Depends on what brand I’m in the mood to buy.

Do you make New Year's Resolutions, or do you not even bother? I typically don’t.

Most annoying commercial? Haven’t been paying attention to them lately.

What does your favourite bathing suit look like? It’s just a simple black bikini but its overall shape and design is super cute and chic.

Do you like Silly Bandz? No.

If you do, how many do you have and what are your favourite shapes?

What do you think of My Super Sweet 16? I never watched it because I feel like I’d only get stressed if I did.

Do you have mini-blinds in your house? I have pull-down window shades in my room, not blinds.

Do you rent your home or do you own it? My parents own it.

What is your favourite song right now? Trigger by Hayley Williams.

Do you use Firefox? Nope.

Do you have a pool in your backyard? We don’t.

Do you have a gym membership? No.

Favourite field trip you've ever been on? Freshman year of high school when we went to two museums :)

[angelbabyszn]

Stop Playing Games (Cesar X Reader)

OMB Masterlist

B/F/N - Best Friend

Playing Games was playing in the background on your speaker on a late Thursday while you closed your math notebook finishing homework tonight.

Not even a moment later, your best friend was calling you on your phone.

"What's up, chica! How are you? Guess what I just found out!" said B/F/N excitedly.

"What?" you asked while you flopped on your bed with your back.

"I heard somebody said Cesar likes you!" said B/F/N squealing on the other side of the phone.

"That's nothing new, B/F/N. You don't think I know that? Also that's old." you said while rolling your eyes.

"So? What are you going to do with the information?"

"Nothing. He doesn't show that he likes me." you said.

"He probably hasn't shown any signs because he's nervous around you."

"Nervous? Are you serious right now? There's a difference between being nervous around somebody you like versus not being interested. I'm 100% positive he's not interested." you said making your statement.

"Well I think he is. Give him a chance, Y/N. Not all guys are the same."

"Well in Freeridge, it kinda is." you said as you thought about all of the boys in Freeridge.

"Y/N, I don't know why it's taking you so long to get somebody. Can you at least go on a date once?

"I'm being cautious. Nothing wrong with being cautious and having high standards. Also stop whining. What are you, three?" you said rolling your eyes again.

"I know. I just want you to be happy." said B/F/N kinda sad.

"I am happy. With you and my family, I'm happy and fine. A boy isn't necessary." you said and you look at your alarm clock on your bed table to see the time.

"Look, if this makes you happy, I'll observe Cesar all day tomorrow and see if he likes me or not, okay?" you said sighing because you didn't want to do this. 

"Great! We're doing our point system tomorrow to determine. Goodnight Y/N."

"Fine. Goodnight B/F/N." you said and both of you hung up on each other and went to sleep.

-

The next day, you were talking to B/F/N as she was getting her supplies for the next class.

You turn your head to the left to see Cesar walking down the hall with his guy friend, Ruby. 

"Hi Cesar." you said with a smile and Cesar looked at you and said hey. Ruby and him turned a corner to go down another hallway.

"Well, that just gave me the first point of today." you said and B/F/N shut her locker and looked at you crazy.

"Are you serious? That doesn't count! He said hey to you!" said B/F/N with a side-eye.

"Yeah, it does. He didn't say my name or even look at me more than five seconds." you said proving your point of view.

"Man! I was rooting for him!" said B/F/N and she made a pouty face and crossed her arms against her chest upset.

"Awe baby. Don't worry. There's still a whole day ahead of us. So you could still get points." you said kinda sarcastically so B/F/N don't expect it.

The late bell rang and both of you quickly ran to your first class of the day.

You and B/F/N arrived into Biology class late, which everybody looked at you once entering the room.

"Wow. I've never expected you two to be late. What's the excuse?" asked the teacher, Ms. Anna. 

"We were talking in the hall." you said and B/F/N nodded in agreement.

"Well, go find your new assigned seats, and we will start our lesson." said Ms. Anna and both of you quickly go around the room to go to your new assigned seats.

You found your name and you looked up to see Cesar, Jamal, and Monse at your table. You saw that you have to sit right next to Cesar and you sat down at the table with your supplies.

"Hey Y/N." said Monse and Jamal syncing with a smile.

"Hey guys." you said. You start writing in your notebook as you look on the board to see the title and objectives of the lesson.

A few minutes later, Ms. Anna was explaining a diagram of the heart and you were trying to pay attention while fighting your urge to sleep right now.

As you drew the diagram and did points right next to the picture, you felt somebody staring deep into your soul.

You turned your head where you felt the tension to see Cesar staring at you.

"Cesar? You okay over there?" you asked with a confused and concerned look on your face.

Cesar kept staring at you for another moment until he shook his head.

"Yeah. Just kinda...dazed off." said Cesar with a little chuckle.

Cesar looked away from you and looked out of the window right beside him. He has his left hand on the back of his neck and starts to rub it back and forth repeatedly.

You shrugged your shoulders and looked back at the board where Ms. Anna started playing a video as another visual to understand.

Not even a minute into it, you felt your phone buzz in your purse. You look up seeing Ms. Anna and she was typing on the other computer.

You get out your phone, lower your light and put it underneath the table so the teacher won't see it. You looked at the notification and saw B/F/N text you.

You look up and see B/F/N giving you a wink from another table. She was sitting with Ruby. You rolled your eyes and read her text.

B/F/N👯‍♀️❤️: I saw that! 

You: Saw what? 🥴 

B/F/N👯‍♀️❤️: You and Cesar! Who else? 💀 

You: Oh. That was nothing. 

B/F/N👯‍♀️❤️: That was something! Cesar was looking at you and he looked away nervous! That's a point for me!

You looked at Cesar as he was copying down notes he missed from Jamal without knowing. You looked back down at your phone.

You: Fine 💀 You win this round. 

B/F/N👯‍♀️❤️: Yasss 🎉

You rolled your eyes, shut your phone down and put it back in your purse. You start writing down notes again from the video until the lunch bell rings.

-

You and B/F/N quickly grabbed your lunches and went outside to the lunch tables that were available.

You and B/F/N sat down and started eating while chatting. Cesar and his friends walked out from the cafeteria to the outside lunch tables.

"Guys, let's sit with them." said Cesar with a smile at his friends and they agreed.

The core four walked over to your table and sat around. Cesar sat right next to you.

B/F/N turned to you and mouth the word 'b*tch' once she saw you next to Cesar and you mouthed 'stop'. All six of you start to eat your lunch and have a conversation with each other.

Fifteen minutes later, you were posing as B/F/N and took pictures of you near a wall outside. You felt cute today since it was a Friday.

Cesar turned his head from his friends to you taking photos in front of the school brick wall. Cesar looked down and back up staring at you with a grin.

Cesar got up and walked up right next to B/F/N as they were taking photos of you.

B/F/N turned her head to see Cesar looking at you while you were posing. His grin gained even bigger which caused him to look down with his hands in his pockets of his black jeans as he felt his face becoming hot.

B/F/N turned back to you with a smirk and you gave her a "shut up" look.

"Yo Y/N, can I take a picture with you?" asked Cesar with a shy smile.

"Sure." you said trying to act casual and Cesar walked over and stand right next to you. You and Cesar start taking a few photos together as B/F/N takes them.

"Awe, look at y'all." said B/F/N with a stupid grin on their face while taking a another photo.

"Okay, that's enough." you said as you walked up to B/F/N as she snatched your phone from her.

The bell ring signaling lunch was over and students start to pick up their lunches, throw away their leftovers, and start going to their next class.

You and B/F/N start walking to your next class together until Cesar stops the both of you.

"Y/N, can you not post those photos if you happen to do later? Thanks." said Cesar and left right before you could respond.

"What?" you said and looked at B/F/N and they gave you a confused face.

-

A few hours later, you and B/F/N were getting ready at your house for a throwback party at Ruby's for the ending of a decade as it's soon about to be 2020.

"So, let's get the facts straight. He said hi but didn't look at me for more than five seconds. He also sounded annoyed when he said it. So, a point for me." you said while you were curling your hair in the bathroom with the door open.

"Yes, but I think he was just tired in the morning. Biology class. He was literally staring at you! You didn't feel that?! An obvious point for me." B/F/N said as she was putting on makeup at your makeup counter in your room.

"Fine. I'll give you that. What about lunch? He convinced his friends to sit by us." You said as you turned off the curly iron and walked back to your room to put on your high heels.

"I'm giving that point to you. He asked to take a photo with you! That's a full on point for me! It's so obvious! said B/F/N as she fixes up her hair in front of the mirror.

"Whatever. It all depends tonight at this throwback party. I'm ready to listen to all of my childhood songs." you said with a smile.

You and B/F/N grab your purses with your phones inside and start to walk to Ruby's party.

-

A few minutes later, you and B/F/N arrived at the party. All of the songs from 2010 till now we're playing to remember the decade you and everybody else grew up in.

"I’m going to get us some drinks and then we can party!" said B/F/N excitedly and screamed on top of her lungs as she went through the crowd to go to the kitchen.

You look around you until you see Cesar...with another girl that is known as Olivia.

You just start to stare at them as they are laughing and being flirty with each other. You were just over Cesar and his games.

Right before you could confront Cesar, you hear Ruby saying "Who wants to play seven minutes of heaven?" though the microphone in the living room.

Right before you could quickly run away, B/F/N turns you around and pushes you to the living room with force. 

-

"Okay y'all. You know how to play." said Ruby and he put the bottle on the coffee table. You look around the living room to see who was playing.

You groaned as you shut your eyes when you saw Cesar was the first person to spin.

Without looking, you hear the bottle spin for a few moments until it stops. You didn't hear anybody speaking. You opened your eyes and they widened as you saw the bottle was pointing at you.

"Since I don't have a closet, y'all got a guess room down the hall to the right." said Ruby.

Cesar got up from his seat along with you. You followed Cesar into the bedroom and once you entered, Cesar closed the door.

You sat on the edge of the bed and Cesar walked over and sat right next to you.

You were looking down to the floor. Even though you never wanted to play, you never expect to go first.

You looked at Cesar. Cesar turned his head, and you quickly stopped looking at him.

"Y/N?" asked Cesar, staring at you.

"Yeah?" you asked as you turned to look at him. Your heart skipped a beat once you saw Cesar looking deep into his eyes.

"I'm sick of the lies we keep on telling each other." said Cesar, making your eyes widen as you thought of all of the lies you told Cesar.

"What do you mean?" you asked with a confused face.

"We like each other but we're too nervous to even talk to each other." said Cesar and you look away from Cesar. 

You look back up at him as you start to stare into his eyes. Cesar's eyes were looking deep into yours, just speaking for themselves.

"Y/N, I'm falling for you. I need to know if you feel the same way." said Cesar and you gained a red blush on your face.

You start to lean in and he closes the gap between. He gives you a slow passionate kiss. You kissed him back a moment later until somebody knocked on the door.

"Yo, times up lovers! It's quiet in there." said B/F/N though the door making Cesar end the kiss.

"I'm falling for you too, Cesar." you said shyly and Cesar gave you the biggest smile he could do and gave you another kiss.

Cesar pulled out his left hand and you grabbed it. You both got up and opened the door to see B/F/N with her phone out.

"Y'all did it! Y/N, how do you feel?!" shouted B/F/N as she zooms in to your face recording.

"We didn't do anything but guess who got a boyfriend now." you said and B/F/N zoomed out in video to take a view of you and Cesar's hands together.

"Finally! I won! Y'all better invite me to y'all wedding." said B/F/N as she took a view of both of us.

"Turn that off. We still got to get you with Ruby." you said with a smirk and B/F/N quickly ran of sight scared making you and Cesar laughed.

You and Cesar did another kiss and walked back to the party as boyfriend and girlfriend.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

so i was reading one of those lame “10 red flags that are long term relationship no-no’s” or some dumb shit listicle articles where some points on the list are actually legit and some seem a little banal to a point. this one, being an example to also call out my 14/15 year old self for screaming at clear braces boy when he updated his relationship status and sent teenage me a relationship request back in 2010/year 9 (please mind that i actually didn’t hold the same feelings as he did. but it was one of those stupid forced high school relationships that a whole year group thinks should happen bc two kids just talk to each every fucking day because they’re J U S T G O D D A M N E D F R I E N D S for fucks sake):

like on some levels, sure. NOT going “public” on your relationship on social media could be a red flag.... but generally???? i don’t think it is, especially when so many of my old friends barely update their relationship statuses (like they have it hidden or still list themselves single bc like who cares, right?).... or even post photos/statuses of themselves with their s/o, unless it’s a big thing like buying a house/land for a house, getting engaged, their wedding etc at all anymore.

hell, it’d be hard for someone to “go public” on social media with me as a partner.... considering the fact that i’ve never bothered with making an instagram account. i’ve deleted my snapchat and don’t think “snap scores” etc count for anything in making healthy relationships. like how dumb can you be (unless of course social media is your job) basing your relationships on snapchat scores and/or instagram likes or doing couples social media challenges??? or retweet amounts??? like really??? that’s a fucking recipe for jealousy and couple self-doubt and comparisons etc right there, bud.

why document every part of your relationship on social media???? okay, sure. if they don’t post ANYTHING of you together; maybe that’s a problem for some people???? but honestly. i personally wouldn’t mind that. bc god. do we really need everyone nosing in on our relationship business, dude??? like really??? i don’t want people gossiping about us or whatever the fuck idek. or i don’t want to be that absolutely nauseating couple that posts photos on every social media platform like every fucking day or whatever being all “i love you so much babe you’ll always be my 🌏!!!!” to the point where like 90% of your friend/follower lists block you bc you’re just that irritating. basically this is what i went off at clear braces boy for in year 9 tbh.

just idek. i think the “not posting your relationship status on social media” and “not posting generally of you on social media” would differ person to person. bc i don’t need you to perform your love for me on my social media feed, bro.... like some dating show such as idek, love island? that’s not how you prove to me that we’re serious??? although i might get hate for this considering that i’ve never been in a relationship (bar the one mentioned above) so what would i know???

but at the same time, like it’s kinda banal doing these things by your mid20s right???? like i’m not 14 anymore. we should keep our relationship private bc you know how social media is these days.... even just generally even with people you know. like i sometimes play guessing games with who has a partner or whose broken up with their partners or whose getting married etc on my own fb feed or lurking through old friends who deleted me/never had me on social media in the first place profiles to see how they’re doing and who they’re dating (if they are). like..... it’s weird man.

and it’s even more concerning if you’re a social media person like a youtuber or a popular instagrammer (or instagram couple) or popular twitter account person or whatever. like people can be so fucking awful to famous people’s/accidentally famous people’s partners with like sending death threats or whatever..... that why would you even BOTHER posting about your relationships when you get those creepy asf fans doing that???? like idek man.

and finally when you think about those memes that say things such as:

- “yeah miss/mr he’s/she’s etc etc my world!!!! who’s your new “world” this week? like, damn bitch. are you building a fucking universe each week?”

or

- “gonna call up all my tinder matches at once to see if they’d like being on the bachelorette starring me!!”

or

- “tagging your crush in memes like “these cats are us: i’m the little cat and you’re the big cat” to drop MAJOR HINTS 😂🙃. am i right ladies????”

or whatever other garbage dating meme tweets that you can think of... because if you tag someone on them, on some level, you’re showing your relationship with the person anyway??? like obvs it’s not a lot. that’s a given. but people can read so deep into that sometimes and think you’re dating the person or something when in reality you’re just friends.

for example, i always get asked about two dudes who like/react to my fb statuses quite often and who i tag in memes often with “uh. yeah. what’s actually happening there???” by my best/close friends and i’m like “honestly? i have no idea. but i’ll keep you updated”. but if someone i’ve known for ages, but has never bothered to reach out to me for like 10 years, just randomly dropped me a dm to ask about this sitch i’d be like “yeah janina, thanks for your concern. but like.... we haven’t spoken in years???? idk why you suddenly think my love life... or even my life in general past “i hope she’s doing okay”.... is your business all of a sudden” like idk guys. social media is so fucking invasive and weird and toxic in so many ways to relationships that anything can be taken out of context. and don’t even get me started on the memories throwback function that could take you down some terrible roads (like if you were in an abusive relationship or something) if you never delete shit from your profile.

yeah. anyway. it’s bleh. and i don’t think that your partner not constantly updating your relationship on fb or being awkward about updating their relationship status or whatever the fuck, should be considered a red flag in some sense; and it can mean different things to different people. what i’m getting at is: why can’t we have privacy anymore?

people can feel free to call me shady or whatever. but i’m not being shady in any way, shape, or form. i’m questioning whether people really need to air their relationships in full (no matter whether they’re genuinely reciprocal and love filled; or unhealthy and unrequited- like my stalker back in years 11/12... and also clear braces boy).... and/or at the end of a relationship... air any or all of their dirty laundry through their social media feeds. it’s unhealthy asf that social media rules our lives that much. and that it seems almost to be a fucking requirement to share EVERYTHING about your life on social media to whoever, whenever. finally i’m saying that showing your love has become almost like a competition against other couples going “official” on different social media platforms by updating their rs status or tagging each other in their posts or writing corny lovey-dovey statuses with the starry eyed couple in a photo underneath. like ugh. i hate it.

[sally-mun]

How long have you and your partner been together? I knwo you've said it's been years but how long exactly?

It depends a little on how you look at it, because there was a big gap in there for a while. Our current stint is around a decade, but if you count when we FIRST started RPing, it’s actually closer to two decades.

Here, let me just do it like this:

1997-2005(ish): Yeah, my RPing dates back this far (probably farther back than some of you have been alive, oof). Back then the internet was still SUPER new, so there weren’t a lot of ways to hang out online beyond message boards and chatrooms – and you were NEVER supposed to go in chatrooms, because that’s where all the stalkers were! However I’d come across this Sonic webpage that I thought was super cool, and in contact info of the gal that ran it was linked a chat where she was known to hang out. It was back during the days of GeoCities (before Yahoo even owned it), and there were only a handful of chatrooms on the site in total. Among them was a room simply called “Games Chat.” I decided to take the chance and went in hoping to find the girl that ran the website. I never did, but this was my first introduction to RPing!

So for those who’ve never done this format, it’s kind of a free-for-all. Whatever screen name you log in with is your character, and everything happens in real time. Your turn is basically one line, and it can be dialogue, *actions*, or both if you could fit them. Yes, the turns are small, but the chatroom format meant that turns were taken rapidly, and it actually covered a LOT of ground in a short amount of time. You could do a single session and call that a day, or you could keep meeting up with the same people over and over to do a continuous game/story. There were basically no hard rules, just ones you established yourselves either before you started or mid-game ((via talking OOC)). Regulars came to know each other while other faces slipped in and out in a flash. Canon characters and OCs basically shared equal footing. It was exciting and fast-paced and I loved it.

Over time things changed a bit; GeoCities was bought up by Yahoo, and at that time “Games Chat” was changed to “Anime Capsule,” since I guess someone on the back end noticed that we were talking/RPing way more about anime than about video games. After a couple years of that, though, Yahoo decided to shut the chatroom down all together – but fear not, one of our users set up our own Anime Capsule on his own sever! We continued there for a few more years, and the chatroom itself gained more and more features that made it an even cooler place, but I eventually drifted away from here as other regulars gradually dropped off. At this point, I lost most contact with my current partner.

Sadly, so far as I’m aware this chatroom no longer exists.

2006-2011(ish): With the Anime Capsule behind me, I was invited by @fini-mun to a forum RP with a bunch of my friends (many of whom are even here on Tumblr now – hi guys!). This was my first time using a message board for gaming purposes, but I really liked it. The downside is it’s much, much slower than chatroom RP, but it was fun to get to use actual prose and narration. This RP is what made me realize just how much I enjoy writing, and it’s more or less when I transitioned to seeing myself as a writer instead of an artist (which is funny in a way, because looking back on my old threads there I was SO TERRIBLE, but hey that’s growth I guess).

For those who’ve never done forum RP, it’s MUCH more structured. There’s an area specifically for character profiles, another area specifically for OOC discussion, and then an area for the actual RPs themselves. Each thread is a specific area and time, and the board maintains a single, continuous continuity. If a character enters one thread, they can’t simultaneously be in another, because all threads are part of the same canon. When all characters leave a thread, that particular thread is archived, and then a new one is started whenever a character comes back to the area. This particular forum also had an “off-canon” area, which was specifically for silly OOC threads, “what if” scenarios, or ongoing jokes.

This was a SUPER tight community for me. We were a fairly small group and kept the forum private, and only got new users if one of us specifically invited someone. It operated pretty well for a few years, despite being a group of only about 15-20 people. I eventually left this group after an incident went down which changed things in a way that could never really be undone. The forum was different, the group was different, and most importantly, I was different. I did my best to linger for a while but it just wasn’t working for me anymore.

This forum has undergone a few changes, but still exists! You can find it here, or message @jammerlee if you have questions!

2008-2010(ish): In the midst of the forum RP, I’d reconnected with several of my Anime Capsule friends on AIM, and we intermittently continued some of our games via AIM itself. This was nice for me, because it was like a throwback to my chatroom RP days, but on a much smaller scale. At this time I reconnected with my current partner and invited him to the forum RP, but he declined, as forum RPing just isn’t his jam.

For the most part, this didn’t result in anything particularly noteworthy, as it was largely one-off instances and a lot of OOC talk. I liked the focused one-on-one aspect of it all, and I definitely appreciated the rapid progress you can make in IMRP, since that was one of my favorite things about chatroom RPing. So, even though I was still at the forum at the time, this also became a regular RP method for me on the side. Over the years I intermittently attempted to get a couple of friends from the forum RP to IMRP with me too ( @fini-mun and @jammerlee being my biggest targets), but in most cases these attempts fizzled. I had a really fun Knuckles & Rouge story going for a while with Deebs, but that eventually died out because of…

2010-2013(ish): …the arrival of Tumblr! I ended up here due to another invitation from @fini-mun, I’m assuming because we’d both left the forum RP and our IMRPing was inconsistent. It’s probably needless to say, but Deebs made a Finitevus character blog and I made a Sally character blog.

The thing is, I actually had a really tough time with Tumblr RP format. I just really didn’t like the serialized nature of the posts because it made it too difficult (in my opinion) to read through things in order, and nevermind the fact that there’s relevant info spread across multiple blogs! It just really wasn’t my cup of tea, but I still wanted to play here with the friends I’d made, so I decided to make my own version of Tumblr RP: I wrote my character blog as though Sally herself was blogging and getting used to using the internet for play instead of work. This turned out to be WILDLY successful, to the point that I even got a lot of fanmail from former Sally-haters telling me I’d softened or even completely changed their view of the character!

Although I don’t update it anymore, the blog itself still exists, and can be found here!

2010-present: This is the current RP with my current partner. Since I was no longer at the forum RP and Deebs had moved away from IMRP, I reached out to my ye olde partner and asked if he would have any interest in RPing a crackship that Deebs and I had been talking about (aka Knuckles x Finitevus). He was intrigued by the idea and we decided to give it a go, and wouldn’t you know it, it’s turned out to be the most stable game of our LIVES. We’ve been IMRPing consistently for the last decade or so, originally on AIM and then eventually moving to Discord when AIM bit the dust. We don’t RP every day like we used to when we were kids, and we take breaks from the main story to do AUs now and then, but for the most part we’re still chugging along and have no intentions of stopping anytime soon!

And even though these RPs are not public performance, apparently I’m writing summary TV shows of them now, so you can view those here at my blog as I intermittently work on them – and while you’re at it, you can support me on Patreon or Ko-Fi because these things take a lot of time and effort and it would really help me pay my bills!

[ayushraj1024]

It’s time for Final Fantasy 7 throwback (No Spoilers)

Now that Square Enix is planning to release the first part of Final Fantasy 7 Remake I thought it was time to revisit the old memories I had about the old version of the game.

I first played Final Fantasy 7 in 2010 on my PC. Square Enix may not like it but I got a version of FF7 that worked on Windows without the need of any emulator and ahem…I downloaded it from a particular site…*cough*. I do not own it anymore…or do I?

Anyway, when I first got it I was really reluctant to play it. I jumped in the game and saw that the graphics were kind of old and blocky and you did not have enough freedom of movement. Basically your camera was fixed at a point in space and you just had to maneuver Cloud around the areas using the keyboard. And then when the fight started it was a turn based fight! That was the first time I had seen a turn based fight. Yes, I hadn’t even played Pokemon until then. It kind of put me off and I just exited the game and put it aside. I was expecting a gameplay more like Prince of Persia but it was so different and new to me that it did not spark my interest initially.

Then after a few months (almost a year I believe) I again fired it up just because I did not have anything else to play. Yes, back then internet was slow and you just got 1 GB data per month and you had to pick your games wisely even if you…*cough*…got them from a particular site…ahem. Therefore I had just a few titles on my PC. So, when I fired up FF7 after a long time I had no choice but to play it and to my surprise I started to really enjoy the game. And now, the game was really good. The graphics may have been outdated for 2010 but the gameplay was amazing. The story (Tifa and Cloud’s backstory, Aeris’ story) was so heart rending for my single as fuck prepubescent self back then that I got extremely attached to the characters.

If you have played the game I think you can imagine what it would have been like for me when the Ancient Temple episode happened with Aeris and Sephiroth. Oh my…I still am not able to get over it.

After the Ancient Temple episode (I want to keep this article spoiler free so I will not be telling exactly what happened) the game became too grindy and difficult for me. But I really wanted to experience the story. So…I did the unthinkable. I used cheat codes in order to advance through the game because then, I really HAD to know the story and I couldn’t afford to spend hours and hours of time grinding and leveling up as I had school and studies too.

I reached the end of the game with ease and it was…kind of satisfying but the pain in my heart was too great (if you know what I mean). Yes, we saved the Earth but we lost…so…much…more that it…may not have been worth it anyway. T_T

This is becoming such a long article, I guess I should stop it here. I think if you have played the game you can relate to my experience somewhat. 🙂 Thank you for reading. I will see you next time with something new.

[wanderfan2000]

Throwback Thursdays continues! Hey everybody, since I showed off my entire collection of Pokemon books. I decided to do something different for this weeks Throwback Thursday! I wanted to show one of my favorite Pokémon video games as a kid, PokePark Wii: Pikachu’s Adventure and PokePark 2 Wonders Beyond!

MAN, I used to have a blast playing these! Basically these were actually my very first Pokémon games for the Wii system back in 2010 and 2011! Pikachu’s Adventure was the first of the series I got back when I was 10 years old, that was the year I became literally obsessed with Pokémon and Pikachu too! I loved playing as Pikachu and making new friends, challenging the bosses, playing the attractions, but most of all, it felt like I journeyed into a new adventure with my favorite electric Pokémon! One thing I forgot to point out, they have a ton of Battle music in this game but my favorite one was the Battle Boss theme, which I nicknamed, the scary theme that sends chills down your spine... Alright, let’s move on to PokePark 2! PokePark 2: Wonders Beyond was the second game in the franchise and sad to say the lest, the final Pokémon game for the Wii... I got this game when I was 11, going through a crazy Pokémon and Cars 2 phase in my life because I loved Mater and Mater is awesome! This game was a bit different then the first game, like the first one was all happy, exciting and full of adventure while this one was all happy joyful until it turn completely dark! But other then that besides playing as Pikachu, you had the chance to play as the three Unvoa starters from Pokémon BW and Pokémon BW2, Ohsawott, Snivy and Tepig. I call Pikachu and his friends Team PokéPark, because every team needs a cool name! Also, I wanted to tell you the scariest and saddest scenes during this game. First up, when you go inside the Wish Castle you’ll meet Piplup, your best friend from the first game, who was acting a little strange... turns out he discovered that Wish Park is a great place where you can have fun all day, so he decides to tell Pikachu to join him and the two friends can play in Wish Park forever! I was a bit shocked when I herd this because I had no idea Piplup was trying to keep Pikachu all to himself!  But after you battle him, he came to realize what a terrible mistake he made and the little penguin Pokémon runs away sadly. Then we get to more scary stuff, like Darkrai erasing Ohsawott, Snivy and Tepig’s memories of Pikachu and they don’t remember him. Last but not lest, Darkrai puts Pikachu to sleep, sending the electric Pokémon into a dark and lonely version of Cove Town. Never thought  I would see the day where my favorite Pokémon was all by himself...forever! The good news is Piplup somehow appears in Pikachu’s dream and makes everything all happy and bright again! Yay! Happiness all around! The squeal was actually a REAL challenge for me to play but luckily, I have beaten both of them and hopefully I will get to journey into these games again soon! OH! One more thing about these games that I forgot to mention, the title themes! Let’s just say when I herd them both for the first time, I WAS OBSESSED!!! Also I REALLY hope we get PokePark 3 for the Switch next year!!

Well I guess that’s it for Throwback Thrusday, see you next week, everybody! 

[kyles-way]

FBEReacts makes me feel old because they’ll have videos guessing 2000s songs and these children are like ‘I don’t listen to music past 2010′ and 2000s is now considered throwback

I was just getting used to the 90s being considered throwback lol

[heniareth]

Anyways, I ran out of tags, so I’m gonna continue this here! :D

The measurements for Spellpower and mana inefficiency are so cool!!! So spellpower basically encompasses the strength and duration of the spell and mana inefficiency the amount of mana lost as light, sound or heat during the casting of a spell? I love it! It really reframes the way we’d approach spellcasting as having a physical component as well as an intellectual one. After all, those measurements look a lot like something you’d see in P.E. classes, less like something from math classes. I’m guessing there’s an intellectual component to it, and having a solid grasp on the theory of how magic and mana and spellcasting works probably makes the spellcasting itself easier, but it’s not the end of it. In DAI, there’s banter between Dorian and Solas were they talk about how they manipulate the Veil to create magical effects and it does sound very hands-on. So I love that the evaluation method reflects that. You could have your standard high school plot of the 2000s-2010s happening at Kinloch Hold. Nerd mage asks Jock mage if they can help them increase their spellcasting prowess and offer to help them with the theory in return! This is amazing and I’m glad the ask gave way to have you figure out these things.

Also Rhodri tutoring the younger kids. It’s nice that, as far away as she was from her family, she got a chance to still live a bit of family life with the younger apprentices (until Broken Circles. Fuck. The templars. And Uldred).

Also also: the Tevinter letterheads. Oooooooh it’s so cool. An all official-sounding paper and it’s a tercet from one spouse to the other. It wamrs my heart. Also, it says a lot that Rhodri would use this sort of paper. I can imagine Dorian using everything BUT paper with that letterhead except when he absolutely has to XD XD XD XD I also love that Owen gets his own letterhead. Every member of house Callistus is important and has their own stationary. Yes, the nine-year-old is included in this, he absolutely needs his own stationary as well. I love that

I’m cackling over here at Zevran not only organizing this whole bet to get his hands on the tercet (which, oh Rhodri XD XD XD XD Don’t tell this man you wrote a love poem only to then not want to show him XD XD XD XD Also RHODRI IS A POET??? RHODRI IS A POET!!! I remember what you said about Tevinter and the arts (namely that Tevinters don’t really do hobbies or arts & crafts since these are things they could very easily purchase) and the fact that Rhodri pens her thoughts down as a poem sometimes, and especially if those thoughts are about Zevran, surely does things to Zevran’s heart)

...

Where was I? Oh yes. Not only does Zevran organize this whole bet to get his hands on the tercet, but he hides grapes in his pockets. Evil, evil man!! I’m guessing Rhodri doesn’t like grapes (or is it a throwback to that time Zevran was bored on the road and started throwing grapes at Rhodri?) Anyways, what a poem. Unflinching devotion paired with a complicated religious life. That Rhodri decides the Maker doesn’t exist so she doesn’t discharge all of her rage and grief over her friends during Broken Circle at him does things to me. It’s heartbreaking (and practical, I guess, but idk. Maybe getting real angry and screaming at the sky would’ve been a bit cathartic?). I hope Leliana (or Wynne) didn’t do too much poking on the matter. But really, how do you deal with this kind of pain when it’s doen by the servants of “your” god who supposedly left the world to its devices because rational beings were too sinful for him? And, and, Rhodri, as the head of a house is in a similar position to the Maker (although on a much smaller scale); and the Maker fails by most of her standards. What kind of person leaves his place as the head of the house bc he just can’t deal with the people he’s leading?

That Zevran’s faith is something she considers admirable though? That. That gets me. Of course, Zevran knows better than to pressure her on the matter, bless him. But... what an example does he have to set, what an experience does he have to communiacte that Rhodri sees something good about worshipping the Maker. It speaks volume about Zevran’s influence on her, the way he lives his faith and the high regard in which Rhodri holds him. I love it. Simply love it. Zevran probably knows Rhodri’s conflict with the Maker, right? That poem must’ve either sent the biggest grin to his face or made him tearful. Maybe both.

Also: Sēvē and Zēvē XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD Marvellous! They should get matching shirts XD XD XD XD Or aprons. This whole family has a wicked sense of humor XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD

Also!!!!!! The gif lets me imagine Owen so well with the mop of ginger hair, quietly working on his plants (what ARE Rhodri’s favorite plants is the question). I hope he and Rhodri get to spend lots of time in the greenhouse once Rhodri gets back.

This was an amazing read!! I apologize for being late in my answer, but my crops have been watered, fertilized, de-weeded and blessed by these lovely codexes. I also haven’t forgotten about the ones you sent me; they’re in the works. Hoooooo boy, so many great things have come out of this XD XD XD XD XD XD Thank you heaps!!

Hello my wonderful and lovely friend!!! I come, as I am wont to do, with questions for splendidissima Rhodri from the OC Codex prompts:

2. a letter written by your OC’s family member

3. a report written by your OC’s teacher or mentor

4. a letter from your OC to their love interest

Now, I don't know if you will spend these days celebrating or not, but they seem to be busy days for anybody regardless. Please take as much time as you like and pick whichever tickle your fancy. And have some lovely, lovely days. Off I go!

OH HI HEY ! 8D 8D Good to see you and thank you for sending in the prompts!! I had such a great time with these, both of my braincells were working overtime and it was a joy!

Owing to spacing and the sheer volume of the answers I'm sticking all this under the cut. I'd apologise but we both know I don't mean it x) x) x)

so o o o 2. A letter written by your OC's family member Here's one from Rhod's younger brother, Owen. Heirs aren't allowed to have favourites, but suffice it to say she and Owen had easy and natural compatibility. He was nine-ish and Rhodri would've been twelve.

The paper is bleached, high-quality Tevinter vellum, bearing a template header in red ink, reading in Tevene rune script, EX SCRIBIO CALLISTANI SPIRI (“From the desk of Spiro Callistanus”). At the top right of the page, the date 13 Justinian, 9:22 Era Drakonis is added in the same wobbly runic script in the rest of the letter. The language of writing is Tevene.

I love you Sēvē,

My birthday was good but sad without you, and thank you for my greenhouse. Mazarin and Evander aren’t allowed inside because they break everything now. Bethann sits with me in there sometimes but not for long. 

School is hard but Tata says it gets easier with time. When you come back we can go together. I think that would make it better. Mazarin and Evander are too loud and they don’t sit with me any more. Do you know any plant spells? Please write all of them down so I can learn them when my magic comes. And please tell me your favourite three plants. Mine are ivy, snake kiss, and butterleaf.

Please write lots more soon.

And I love you, from Owen your brother.

-

Author's notes:

Callistanus- ‘of’ House Callistus, the name given to non-heir family members. An heir is the house, the non-heirs are the members of said house. ‘Callistani is Callistanus in genitive (possessive- I know you know this; clarifying for other potential readers) case. Owen's Tevene name is Spiro, Spiri in genitive form.

The Callistanus/Amell kids did not cope well with Rhodri being taken to the Circle. Not least because they were an arm’s length away when the Kirkwall Templars were beating her to a pulp.  Mazarin and Evander, who already tended to be loud and demanding, became destructive and disruptive, and both of them developed explosive tempers that proved hard to pacify.  Bethann, the youngest and most sensitive sibling, suffered frequent meltdowns that required many years to identify causes for and address.  Owen, the middle child, was always quiet and courteous. The adults in his life, amid attending to his louder, needier siblings, frequently ‘checked in’ on him, and they would have used all the resources they had to attend to any need he might have, but if he said he was doing fine (he always did), they left it at that and assumed he was content to keep to himself. Rhodri had always made a point of keeping him by her side and giving him plenty of one-on-one attention even if he was ‘fine,’ and he soaked that up like a sponge. After she was taken away, though, and the other siblings proved to be very squeaky wheels, there was nobody to fill the gap in those childhood to early teen years. Owen ended up rather neglected, and horribly lonely, and hid it, even lied about it, to everyone but Rhodri for years. Consequently, Owen tends to have a low opinion of himself, and is disinclined to seek out something, however badly he might want it. He does a lot better once Rhodri's back, and certainly once his folks found out (to their unrestricted horror) how neglected he had felt, they did their darnedest to make it up to him as well. But Rhod's return was really what cemented that improvement.

§

On to 3. a report written by your OC's teacher and mentor

I liked this question because I like the idea of there being a very specific, Chantry-determined format to a progress report, filled with formalities that ostensibly show some level of "civility" between the Templars and the mages. Plus, grading system? How do the mages measure success? So many questions!! Thank you for making me think of the answers!! -

The paper is bleached, blank vellum of middle to high quality, with the standard Circle progress report template already written in with black ink. Irving’s handwriting is a neat cursive that is no longer taught in the Circles. -

Date: 7 Eluviesta, 9:21 Dragon

Tutor name and rank: Irving, F.E.

Apprentice name; age; specialisation: Rhodri S. C. Amell// 10 y.o.// Arcane Magic

Progress report number, AYTD: 2

Presenting compliments to the Knight-Commander and having the honour to report:

Following the discovery of lyrium affliction in early Verimensis 9:22, Rhodri Amell has completed three months of compensatory meditation and distraction management training. Spellpower has improved significantly, as has spell duration (Max. 4; 10s per HS); mana inefficiency has also decreased (less est. 2.5, now 5.5). Continuation of the program recommended indefinitely.

Despite her progress, Rhodri’s temper outbursts are increasing in frequency during lessons proper. I reiterate to the Knight-Commander my suspicion that these arise from the elemental damage and consequent pain in her hands from unsafe proximity to trained mana, particularly as her affliction prevents her from wearing the requisite enchanted safety gloves. As per my last reports, I strongly recommend that my apprentice be permitted to use a sylvan branch staff to prevent more of the same; responding to outbursts with punishment has proved manifestly unhelpful and I continue to urge its cessation to the Knight-Commander with the greatest emphasis.

I note that Rhodri continues to tutor beginner students in her free time. E. Delilah has anecdotally mentioned better performance in this cohort in comparison to Delilah’s previous cohort, and has advised willingness to allow my apprentice to shadow her for some classes. With assistance in managing the change in schedule, I anticipate further progress for all concerned.

Reiterating assurances to the Knight-Commander of my highest consideration.

Irving, F.E. 

-

Author's notes on abbreviations and measurements - AYTD: Academic year to date - Spellpower scale is from 0 (not casting) to 10 (Destruction of a single room - HS- healing spell (in this case spell duration measures how long the intended effects persist until the spell is cut off or wears off on its own) - Mana inefficiency scale measures how much unformed mana escapes when a spell is cast, from 0 (no mana lost) to 10 (all, or almost all mana escaped). .

§

And 4: A letter from your OC to their love interest!

The author's notes are long so I'd better just get to it:

The paper is bleached, high-quality Tevinter vellum, bearing a template header in red ink, reading in Tevene rune script, EX SCRIBIO CALLISTI SEVERIN (“From the desk of Severin Callistus”). At the top right of the page, the date 11 Pluitanis, 9:35 Era Drakonis is written in sharp, austere letters, as is the rest of the content. The language of writing is Common, with the exception of the tercet, which is in Tevene.

Dulcis,

I pen this letter to you with all my love and, in adherence to the conditions set by your challenge:

I admit that I stand corrected: pickpocketing is very difficult and is not “something I could do as easily as blinking.” (I will say, however, that hiding grapes in the pocket you were keeping the coins was entirely unnecessary. It feels like those bastard Void fruits are hiding everywhere, now.)

With great embarrassment, I enclose a reproduction of the tercetus I so foolishly admitted to writing and frankly, my love, I am starting to think you organised this whole bet so you could get your hands on it.  . In vitae finite stabit Formator ton, et querisit "A Incredule, quemisi exultum mihim offerti?" Et respondit humilite, "Ton Zevran, Sanctus amade" .

I must say, my love, I’m enjoying writing to you even though you’re right beside me. I think I’d like to do this more often– though hopefully with fewer tercetae. Maybe I could hang short missives off your Friday flowers. What do you think?

Also, please let me know if you would like to go to the Sidereal Telescopium tomorrow. Quirina is giving a speech on the upcoming New Constellations Room, and I have many questions for them.

My whole heart to you,

Severin (Rhodri). -

Author’s notes:

Tercetus- a traditional Tevene-style three-line rhyming poem.

A rough translation: At the end of life I will stand before your Maker, and he will ask me "You, Unbeliever, tell me– what worship did you ever offer me?" And I will say, simply and earnestly, "Holy Immortal, I loved Your Zevran."

Rhod’s got a complicated religious life. She started okay; the family wasn’t especially pious but they did Chantry things at the frequency considered respectable. Once she landed in Kinloch Hold, though, her prevailing question, for which never received a satisfactory answer, was: “If the Maker can do anything, and He loves us, why does he let us suffer? I wouldn’t do that, and I’m a child, nto a god.” After Broken Circle, she refused to believe the Maker existed, as a consolation to herself, and to avoid the sort of vengeful blasphemy that gets you hung, drawn, and quartered. There’s something about Zevran’s patient faith, though, and his willingness to offer thanks that he has what he has, however miserable his life has been. It’s impressively staunch, and Rhodri admires that, and treasures the comfort it brings him, enough that she slowly comes around to her idea of a compromise. Said compromise is acknowledging that if the Maker exists, He is as capable at unleashing bitter cruelty as He is at creating boundless joy. Rhod’s not one to praise bad behaviour in anyone, let alone a god who should know better, but by golly He did everyone a good turn when He made Zevran. Maybe age will bring other wisdom, but for now, she lets her love for Zevran be her tentative worship, because it’s the only praise she can offer in earnest. Though idk, what better compliment is there for a creator than someone wholeheartedly adoring their creation?  I like to think it’s enough for the time being. A religious journey isn’t always straightforward but I always found that complications bring their own insights.

I have no idea why Rhodri signs off her letters to Zevvo as ‘Severin (Rhodri).’ They agreed early on never to use the Tevene name to avoid the ridiculousness that comes with similar-sounding names (it gets especially bad when the siblings give him the Tevene-ised nickname Zēvē when they’re already calling Rhodri Sēvē. Agony!) Same deal with Owen signing off letters to her as “Owen your brother”. Must be hereditary.

Also I'm not sure about how ok it is to use Artbreeder generated images what with the art theft things going around now (I'm not sure where it stands on that sort of thing) so I'll leave out the artbreeder portrait I have of Owen. For a face claim, though, this feller here is pretty close (though I grant you Simon Wood is unlikely to be 9yo in this gif). Token ginger of the Amell-Callistus brood, what's up!

[tylerbiard]

San Junipero

I just finished watching the highly acclaimed “San Junipero” episode of Black Mirror.  My god, what a beautifully put together piece of art.  The aesthetics, the cinematography, the acting, the story, everything was utterly top notch.  It was quite moving and unexpectedly sweet in its ending.

Of the many things I loved in the epsiode, I’ve been really ruminating over the early dialogue from the 1987 section, at the dance club, where everybody looked overwhelmingly ‘80s.  Like, too ‘80s.  I obviously wasn’t around in the ‘80s, but based on accounts from people who did live then that I know, as well as looking at actual photographs and the like from then, of actual people, and how they lived, it did seem almost caricatured.  Then there was the line of (and I’m paraphrasing) “everyone looks like they saw it in a movie,” it being the attire of everyone in the club.  It’s true.  The gateway to eras one wasn’t apart of for a lot of people is in the pop culture, such as movies, which can gloss over or hyperbolize reality.  There’s also a tendency in nostalgic aesthetic preferences to pluck the most “standout” (yet still aesthetically pleasing -- nothing too outrageous) to hone in on an era.  Were the ‘80s really that ‘80s, or was the San Junipero version was basically cliche? Beyond that, while it was ostensibly 1987 in San Junipero, the social attitudes of the denizens therein seemed a bit more 21st century.  The 1987 was not a true 1987, but merely a shallow imitation, not unlike a throwback night at your local dance club.  Perhaps that was the point, it was a digital simulation, after all, filled with people decades into the future.

I was hanging out with a friend recently, and we had some 2010s smooth techno playing on YouTube.  The video made me say to them, “man, it really is the ‘90s.”  The aesthetic choices (especially fashion) were ripped right from 199x, and yet, the artist didn’t look like they were old enough to actually remember the ‘90s.  I could be wrong of course, but there’s no question that the ‘90s are the nostalgic focus of this decade, following the 20 year trend of nostalgia (ie the ‘00s were focused on the ‘80s, and the ‘90s were focused on the ‘70s).  And in 2018, today’s teens were born, at latest, in mid-1998, and therefore too young to actually remember the era they’re appropriating.  The ‘90s to a kid today is about vintage Champion tees and thin-framed glasses and less about dial-up ‘net and the Clinton sex scandal.  And I don’t mean this judgmentally -- rather it is just a matter of fact.  You could say the same thing about my time and the ‘80s.  In fact if you remember that 2000s hipster kitty meme, I distinctly remember one of the taglines being “the ‘80s were awesome” and below it read “born in 1991.”

I guess it all begs the question of what do we really know of the past?  Yes, we lived in an advanced technological age, where vast archives of our lives are accumulating with each passing year.  I read a while ago about this couple who lived on one of those islands in the Puget Sound near Seattle, attempting to live an authentically 19th century existence, from their transportation choices to their wardrobe to everything.  They’d done extensive research in order to get a true feeling for the Victorian era, reading newspapers, personal accounts, literature, the whole thing.  So, to an extent, provided we keep an archive, we can know of the modern past, anyway.  But further back it’s harder.  One of Aristotle’s books was lost after the fall of the Roman Empire, and who knows how revolutionary it would’ve been on Western civilization.  One day our archives may go through a similar beating as the Classical archives did in the Middle Ages.

My point is that most people are not going to go in-depth to become a living, breathing period piece like the aforementioned Washington State couple.  For most of us, we get our cues from pop culture, and thus get a Cole’s Notes edition of the past, which blurs further and further, as time goes on, to fewer highlights.  Or at least for those that never lived in the time, which also increases as time goes on.  And even if you do extensive research, it can never fully replace the feeling of having actually lived through an era, especially as it is happening, without knowledge of what is to come.  Despite our best attempts, human ideas and feelings are often too abstract and what we record visually, literally, sonically, whatever, is merely a stripped down version that can’t fully encapsulate the endless abstraction of what it means to be a human in a particular time and place.  We may get 90, 95, maybe even 99% of the way there, but we can’t ever fully know without having lived it. 

So, I guess, the 1987 of San Junipero is a realization of that reality.  We get our cues from the movies, so we think everyone in the ‘80s lived like an ‘80s movie.  Not to say that that our appropriation of past aesthetics is inaccurate, just very curated, and at times shallow.  Obviously shoulder pads and jean jackets were a fixture of ‘80s fashion, but a lot of social issues and personal inclinations of the ‘80s were glossed over in ‘80s film (and in other eras) and so when we look to film, it is often not the whole picture of what an era was like.  Actually, I find newer “period piece” type films that look back at past eras can sometimes pick up on these things better, as we’ve had time to let the things that occurred in that time to absorb and be reflected upon.  It took a few years for AIDS to show up in film, for example.  It doesn’t always work, though.  Like, I think most people today get a sense of the ‘80s from Stranger Things, and while the aesthetics are on point, as are the supernatural inclinations of media, aside from some cheap homophobic slurs early on, it feels more like a set of people with 2010s values plopped into the 1980s.

I suppose more fundamentally, as time stretches forward, the past, even for those that lived it, just becomes a story we play back to ourselves, distorting and contorting, as our memory slowly fails us.  Thank god we’re uploading our personalities online, right?  Because Instagram is obviously an authentic look at how we live today. In 50 years, I swear people will still be trying to understand the hashtag “livefolk.” I guess it doesn’t matter that much anyway.  As the popular internet saying goes, “I’m here for a good time, not a long time,” hitting at the core of the absurdist inclinations of internet culture today.  Still, it is sad for me to think of all that we’ve known from our collective lives, just withering into oblivion, and our archive a mere ersatz edition of the true past, a vain attempt to preserve something that cannot be preserved.

Music selections:

Belinda Carlisle - Heaven is a Place on Earth No Mercy - Where Do You Go?

[cadpadawan]

31-Day Music Challenge

The social media is now flooded with all kinds of funny challenges, as people are stuck at home with nothing much to do. I guess online gaming, or getting shitfaced, becomes increasingly boring, when all kinds of tiresome responsibilites, like work, do not present any restrictions and limitations anymore. In a way, Facebook has started to resonate the air of those naive first few years, when your newsfeed was basically just one continuous stream of challenge that and challenge this.

Well, why the hell not?

What else is there to do, in order to pass the time with your mental health intact?

So, here I am...just another bored individual to join this endless crusade to make life worth living again, to make my personal life great again. Thus, I jumped on the wagon, and took on this fancy 31-day music challenge, that has been circulating in Facebook (for years, I think).

Although, I didn't find it challenging enough to just type the daily keyword in the Spotify search box and post the result in my Facebook wall. Because: more is more.

(Go ask Yngwie Malmsteen, if you don't believe me...)

The challenge for day #1 was to pick a song with a colour in the title.

I could immediately come up with a bunch of songs, only to realize that the vast majority of the song titles were themed around two basic colours: black and blue. I guess songwriters are a lazy bunch, when it comes to colours. It's pretty obvious, why lyricist everywhere find these two colours exceptionally appealing and resort to the abundant use of them, neglecting all the wonderful possibilites posed by the other colours of the spectrum. Of course black and blue, in terms of emotion and imagination, are much stronger than, say, yellow and orange. So, instead of just settling with the first few titles that came to mind, I wondered if I could come up with one song for each colour I can think of. I mean: a song that bears some personal meaning to me. In practice, this challenge basically meant that I would have to think hard while rummaging through the main three Spotify playlists that I have compiled with something like +16k or +17k songtitles, with the addition of my personal collection of some +2600 cd's – at least the rarities section for songs that are not available in Spotify.

Let's see if I have the stamina to go through my cd-racks, though. I had the forethought to organize my cd's in alphabetical order, by the name of the artist, years ago. For some weird reason, my beloved spouse has not yet agreed to the idea of re-furnishing our apartment with the central theme being those precious compact discs. That's why the cd-racks are placed in somewhat random and impractical fashion: most of them are located in the living room, with a few sections located in our bedroom. I guess, it's a good thing I had disposed of my vintage Rhodes-electric piano by the time when we started dating 20 years ago. I'm pretty sure she would have opposed strongly to the idea of having the instrument as a kitchen table, with the giant lid down. My Rhodes-piano was the so-called suitcase model, with a keyboard of 73 keys. When I moved out from my parents' house in the mid-90's, I decorated my one-room-apartment in the ethos of Japanese minimalism, due to the fact that I spent most of my income on records and alcohol. That Rhodes-piano served as a kitchen table, when I wasn't actually playing with it. Because: why the hell not?

Ok, then. The first colour...it shall be black.

Oh, boy! What a multitude of choices it presents! Should I pick an iconic 90's grunge anthem, like Soundgarden's Black Hole Sun? After all, I saw the band on stage in Helsinki cirka 1995. (I say ”cirka” because I'm not 100% sure about the year, and I'm too lazy to look it up in Google) The fond memories of those grungey early years in the 90's instantly remind me of a couple of equally important bands: Pearl Jam and Alice in Chains. Although, I've never seen either of them live. Pearl Jam had a song titled Black on their breakthrough debut album Ten. Alice in Chains had a killer track titled Black Gives Way to Blue. That epochal Pearl Jam album played non-stop in my car stereos at the time of its' release. I had it copied on a C-cassette. Remember that vintage format, anyone? (Yes, I'm THAT old...) With this particular AIC song I fell in love much later, as it was the title track on the band's comeback album, released in 2009 with the new singer William DuWall. First, I kinda hesitated to give this new AIC line-up any chances, but it turned out to be pretty damn good. Obviously, nothing can top the impact, that the Laney Staley-fronted AIC made with their Dirt-album in 1992. At the time of its' release, that album was a full-blown mindfuck! In retrospect, the year 1992 seems to have been pretty kick-ass, in terms of album releases:

Alice in Chains: Dirt

Rage Against The Machine: Rage Against The Machine

R.E.M.: Automatic for the People

Pantera: Vulgar Display of Power

Tori Amos: Little Earthquakes

Faith No More: Angel Dust

Dream Theater: Images and Words

Aphex Twin: Selected Ambient Works 85-92

Prince & The New Power Generation: (Love Symbol Album)

Stereo MC's: Connected

Tom Waits: Bone Machine

Sade: Love Deluxe

The Prodigy: Experience

Megadeth: Countdown to Extinction

Eric B. & Rakim: Don't Sweat the Technique

The Orb: U.F.Orb

k.d.Lang: Ingenue

Suzanne Vega: 99.9 Fº

Stone Temple Pilots: Core

Curve: Doppelganger

Nick Cave: Henry's Dream

Neneh Cherry: Homebrew

Maybe I should choose something less obvious? At least, it would make this challenge less arduous for me, because it's evident that making a choice between two particularly dear songs from the past is nothing short of impossible. When in doubt, go for the dark horse! So, here goes: my choice for the song with the colour black in the title is:

Bonobo: Black Sands

Being something of a jazz aficionado, despite not really possessing any of the musical prowess to actually play jazz myself, it was love at first soundbite, when I chanced to hear the title track from Bonobo's 2010 album Black Sands on Bassoradio's morning special back in the day. Bonobo is the musical alias of British DJ-producer-musician Simon Green. His career spawns from the 90's trip hop aesthetics, with heavy influences of jazz and world music. Spicing up electronic beats with raw jazz samples, or even live musicians, was the thing to do, somewhere along the mid-90's. I guess it all started with a few insightful hip-hop artists layering their ghetto stompers with the occassional hardbop jazz sample back in the late 80's. For a short period, acid jazz was the coolest shit ever in the early 90's. In a somewhat natural chain of events, jazz eventually made its way to the brand new genres that evolved around the middle of the decade, trip hop and jungle, too.

That's how I got sucked into the all-consuming whirlpool of this abominable voodoo music – jazz. It's a wonder no-one has come up with a gateway theory yet, regarding the highly addictive nature of jazz music. It usually starts with small doses: an occassional jazz sample is slipped in the hip-hop track, or the breakdown section of a rock song is ornamented with a brief, improvised saxophone lead. Then you find yourself craving for more, and start delving into the depths of acid jazz, nu jazz, or whatever new genre that has incorporated jazz as an inherent element in its' aesthetic toolkit. After this honeymoon period, that might spawn over years and years, you eventually catch yourself red-handed, holding a genuine jazz album in your hands at the local record store, probably the usual entry-level drug-of-choice jazz classic: Kind of Blue by Miles Davis. It has been awarded the title of the greatest jazz album of all time – and for a reason, too. Multiple times. Then you're hooked. Next thing you know, you'll be blasting John Coltrane at a family reunion, with your beloved relatives giving you the dead-eyed stare, doubting the state of your mental well-being. Long story short: you simply cannot go wrong with a mellow waltz rhythm that's punctuated with the organic groove of a flesh-and-blood jazz drummer, and topped with hauntingly beautiful brass harmony.

Next up: the colour blue...

Again, I could go for something utterly obvious, like the song titled Blue by A Perfect Circle. Those lucky few, who know me in person, should be well aware of the fact, that I'm quite a diehard fanboy of the band. I was lucky enough to see the band's live performance a few years back, when they paid Finland a visit. Nevertheless, I think I can come up with something more unexpected.

Just let me think for a sec...

Remember the band Europe? Of course you do! (Unless you were born yesterday, like some, eww, millennial!) I think it would've required some exceptional measures in the noble art of cutting contact with the external world to not have been exposed to the band's 1986 megahit Final Countdown, during the past 34 years. (Fuck! Do I feel old yet?!?) BUT...before you dismiss the band as yet another hair-metal has-been, check out this song:

Europe: Not Supposed To Sing The Blues

It's pretty damn hard to believe it's a song by the same band that's responsible for that Final Countdown atrocity. To be honest, that particular throwback 80's hard rock ear-worm wouldn't probably get under my skin in such a thoroughly repulsive fashion, had I not performed the song countless times myself. It was quite an essential part of the live repertoire of the party band, that I toured with cirka 2004-2008. The modus operandi of this covers-only band was to play the most annoying 80's megahits, with the lyrics translated in Finnish with a liberal amount of tongue-in-cheek references to gay erotica. (On a side note, the band was actually quite popular in certain small regions, despite this dubious approach and the substantially high level of bad taste incorporated in the lyrics and live performances. We even ended up playing in a genuine gay wedding once. The humour of the band was, after all, benevolent albeit a bit harsh, at least in the context of these politically correct times...)

The song Not Supposed to Sing the Blues was released in 2012. It's pretty evident, that during this 26-year-period, following the release of Final Countdown, Europe managed to grow some serious balls, hidden somewhere below my musical radar. The oriental sounding motif, played with some cool mellotron string patch in the refrain before the chorus, has a nice Led Zeppelin-esque feel to it. You can't really go wrong with a slowed-down hard rock blues that is sugar-coated with a grain of Kashmir-strings, now can you?

Next up: white...

What first comes to mind? Whiter Shade of Pale by Procol Harum, and Nights in White Satin by the Moody Blues, obviously. You see, I had both of these tracks in vinyl format, way back in the early 90's, when I was going through my ”moustache prog from the 70's”-phase. (Although, this particular Procol Harum song was actually released in 1968, and the Moody Blues song in 1967 – but, in order to be consistent and thorough, I had to dig deeper, to the roots of the prog...to the very dinosaur fossils)

I could throw in White Room by Cream, too. I used to listen to these particular tracks A LOT! In the age of vinyl, conducting a music marathon themed around, say, 60's and 70's ”moustache music”, was actually quite a laborous ritual. Every 25 minutes, or so, I had to flip the side of the record. Shuffling songs totally at random was simply a no-go-zone. Nowadays, it's so easy to compile a lengthy set of personal favorites in Spotify, WinAmp, iTunes, or whatever the fuck application you'd prefer, and just hit the randomize-button...fucking millennials, they have it SO easy. They have no idea of the struggle.

That's why we had those vintage C-cassettes: to copy that very special selection of songs, compiled with tender love and care, onto a format, that didn't require you to be on a constant lookout for when the album side was closing to an end. Besides, before the onslaught of cd-players, those vintage C-cassettes were the only way to impress people with either your refined taste in music, or with the lack of it, while you were occupied with the gentle art of pussy racing, driving around downtown in your awkwardly tuned-up mirthmobile, every goddamn Friday night.

I could pick White Wedding by Billy Idol, too...

It was one of those 80's hits that I used to play with the ”covers only”-party band.

Nah...

I think I will have to choose between Aisles of White by the Aussie soft-prog band the Butterfly Effect, and The Heart of a Cold White Land by the Finnish doomsters Swallow the Sun.

My beloved wife introduced me to Aussie prog, some 10 years ago. The gateway drug, I think, was Karnivool with their music video for All I Know. One day, when I was coming home from work, I caught my wife watching this particular video in YouTube. A little bit later, she unearthed a shitload of Aussie bands in Spotify. I guess she must've been hitting that ”similar artists”-link quite relentlessly. The Butterfly Effect was one of those magnificent bands she discovered. I remember hearing the song In A Memory for the first time. It struck a chord with me, in such a profound way, that I felt compelled to order the album Imago ASAP from some Australian music webstore. At the time, the back catalogue of the Butterfly Effect wasn't available in Finland. I don't know, if it's available even now, because the band is no longer active, I think. Aisles of White is the track #2 on that album, released in 2006. The band released one more kick-ass album in 2008, titled Final Conversation of Kings, and then I don't know what the hell happened.

Swallow the Sun is a bit doomish Finnish metal band, and I'm not really sure, when I actually found the band's music. I think I had their debut album The Morning Never Came (2003) in my cd-rack for years, but it wasn't until 2012, with the release of the magnificent Emerald Forest and the Blackbird album, that I truly fell in love with the band. It took me some five years to actually haul my ass to their gig for the first time. Every single time, when I found out that they were touring nearby, I was too busy with some utterly meaningless work-related bullshit to make it. Finally, in 2017 it happened. I had managed to get rid of my soul-sucking job, although due to a pretty hardcore reason (a brain tumour), so when I found out that Swallow the Sun was performing in Helsinki, in the legendary rock venue Tavastia, I definitely made sure that I was there – and fuck me sideways! It was indeed one of the best live performances that I have ever experienced, hands down!

In 2015, Swallow the Sun released a monolithic triple album Songs From the North, and this particular track, The Heart of a Cold White Land, is on the disc II, that is focused on the beauty side of the band's doom palette.

Swallow the Sun: The Heart of a Cold White Land

Next up: Red

Sielun Veljet was one of the most iconic Finnish rock bands in the 80's. The band released only a couple of albums with lyrics in English, of which the 1989 release Softwood Music Under Slow Pillars was the only one with the songs originally written in English. There was some other attempts to gain international fame and fortune, but in those cases, the songs were merely English translations of their most beloved hit songs, initially written in Finnish. This particular album was planned for international release – but the label executives were pretty disappointed, to say the least, when the band came up with an album full of acoustic psychedelia. It was released only in Finland and Sweden. The artwork on the album cover is actually a painting by a Peruvian artist Pablo Amaringo, depicting the shamanic ayahuasca ritual. Listening through this album in one go is somewhat similar experience, I would guess: a rewarding journey into the depths of the human psyche, albeit potentially exhausting, especially if you're not exactly in the proper mindset to begin with.

Well, ever since I got exposed to the oriental psychedelia of, say, Jimi Hendrix, Kingston Wall, and the like, I seem to have acquired a taste for this kind of weird and druggy, over-the-top freeform musical expression.

Sielun Veljet: Hey-Ho, Red Banana

Ok, then...What next?

What other colours are there, anyway? The three primary colours are: red, yellow and blue. All the other colours can be derived from these three fuckers. To be precise, I think black does not actually qualify as a colour... So, I've got most of these covered already. Of course, in order to pick some hairs, printers actually use magenta, yellow and cyan as their primary colours – and black, obviously. I can't recall a single song with ”magenta” or ”cyan” in the title, though. I could come up with a band or two, with these colours in the band name, such as Magenta Skycode, or Cyan Velvet Project, but song titles?

Nada.

Maybe, if I combed through my post-rock and soundtrack archives, I could come up with some epic 15-minute instrumental with either cyan or magenta mentioned in the lengthy piece of contemporary literature, that is supposed to be the title of the song...but I guess those tracks would not exactly mean worlds to me, as I clearly cannot remember them now. If something comes to mind, while I'm writing down this epistle, I'll address that particular colour and song, accordingly. Now, I shall get on with this challenge journal, onto the next ”normal”, everyday colour...

Which is?

The colour green.

Having played keyboards in a dubious number of proggy bands, with the tonal preferences leaning heavily toward everything vintage, I might as well pick a mellow Hammond-organ classic, such as Green Onions by Booker T. & the MG's, or a vintage synth classic from THE motion picture soundtrack album of all time: Memories of Green by Vangelis, from the timeless Blade Runner soundtrack.

But I won't...

It wasn't actually easy to come up with that many titles with the colour green mentioned. Excluding these two aforementioned classics, I could barely come up with four! As much as I like the desert rock stonerism of Kuyss, the song Green Machine is not my personal favourite in their back catalogue. So that narrows my options to three. The problem is that two of these songs seem to defy the laws of quantum physics: they both take a firm stranglehold on my soul, and throw it casually down the dark and dangerous alleys of nostalgia.

In the midst of 90's acid jazz boom, I had a peculiar habit of buying compilation cd's at random, if the heading on the cover somehow suggested that the contents of the cd had anything to do with this particular genre of music. By impulse-buying music I discovered a lot of gems, like the song Apple Green by Mother Earth. The band was an English acid jazz outfit, virtually unheard of in Finland, despite the tidal wave of acid jazz washing over also these rural perimeters. If Jamiroquai, the Brand New Heavies et al. rub you the right way, you definitely need to check this band out. I can still remember clearly, as if it happened yesterday, how I picked this acid jazz compilation from the vaults of the local record store that no longer exists.

Mr. Big was a band everybody just loved to hate at the turn of the decace, when the gigantic hair-do's of the 80's started to flatten out, and flannel shirts were showing faint signs of becoming the next level shit in the never-ending quest for cool. At the time, I was an under-aged college drop-out, devoting my attention to the finer things of guitar playing techniques, instead of studying for a decent profession. I had received my first electric guitar from my parents in 1988, and for the following 5-6 years, I spent most of my time and energy in an attempt to unravel the secrets of how to play guitar like Jimi Hendrix. I listened to quite a lot of speed and thrash metal on the side, too. Y'know, bands such as Anthrax, Metallica, Slayer and Stone, which was quite a legendary Finnish speed metal band in the late 80's. My budding personal artistic expression was anyhow more influenced by legendary old timers, like Hendrix. I simply loathed all sorts of pyrotechnical wankery (with the exception of certain tracks by Steve Vai and Joe Satriani). Mr. Big's lead guitarist Paul Gilbert was famous for that very special blend of technical stuff, that I wasn't interested in, not in the slightest. So, I never really gave the band a chance. I think my misconception of the band's music as some kind of a shit-show of technical masturbation was due to some instructional videos hosted by Gilbert. After all, his fame as a highly skilled guitarist must have derived from his contributions to several guitar magazines and instructional videos, instead of his career in Mr. Big. So, everytime I heard the intro of, say, To Be With You, on my car radio, I simply had to change the channel. In order to do so, I had to manually rotate the tuning knob. Yes, my first car stereos were THAT vintage! What a time it was to be alive! Years later, with the maturity of age like with a fine wine, I finally listened to the worn-out hits of this horrid band only to find out that – bummer! - in terms of songwriting, those goddamn Mr.Big hits were actually not that bad at all. The song Green-Tinted Sixties Mind was released on the album Lean Into It in 1991. Now, everytime I am exposed to this particular song, I am instantly reminded of what a stuck-up elitistic music snob I used to be during those emotionally tumultuous times.

So, I could resort to the luck of the draw, but luckily I've got one more candidate to go.

Lonely the Brave is one of my most recent findings. It's an English alt.rock band from Cambridge, formed in 2008. I really don't know much about the band, just this one song titled The Blue, The Green. I was exposed to it while playing the music trivia game Songpop 2 with my mobile phone during the past two years, I think. The game is about guessing songs within the timeframe of a 15 second clip. Pretty addictive at first, actually. This 15-second-soundbite was enough to gain my full attention, so I had to check out the song in full, instantly. I cannot pinpoint what exactly it is, but this particular song has that vague feeling of ”something”, that draws me to listen to it, time and time again.

Lonely The Brave: The Blue, The Green

Next up: yellow.

I was first introduced to Frank Zappa's unique music in the late 80's, by my classmate Jussi, who kindly exposed me to the timeless classic Bobby Brown Goes Down. At the delicate age of 15, it was a pretty anticipated reaction that the explicit song lyrics would strike a chord. A few years later, as I was browsing through the vinyl section at the local second hand record store, I came across a pure treasure: the gatefold vinyl edition of Roxy & Elsewhere by Frank Zappa & The Mothers. In mint condition, too! Dropping the needle on the first groove on the black vinyl back home was like taking the first hit of some mind-altering illegal substance. My perception of reality changed in an instant – and there was no going back. Such an exciting mixture of fusion jazz, rock and harsh satire was sure to make me an addict. So, in no time at all I built up enough tolerance and moved onto semi-lethal dosages, and purchased the albums Hot Rats, Grand Wazoo and Apostophe('). The last one was released in the year, when I was born (1974), and it included the hilarious 4-part rock suite about the unfortunate adventures of an eskimo named Nanook. One part of the suite is titled: Don't Eat the Yellow Snow. Sound advice at the time of a global pandemic, that originated from some peculiar pathogen spillover event in China, don't cha think?

Frank Zappa: Don't Eat The Yellow Snow

Not many colours left, I think...

Next up: purple.

I was exposed to the music of Jimi Hendrix via a documentary on TV, when I was a rosy-cheeked 7th grader in junior high. It happened around the same time, when I got my first electic guitar. So, I guess it must have been written in the stars, or something. The universe simply wanted me to focus on the noble art of guitarism, instead of getting a college degree on psychopathological marketing or accounting (fuck no!). My first guitar was a cheap stratocaster-copy with a Williams-logo on it. In a way, it resembled the vintage Mellotron keyboard: it simply would refuse to keep in tune. One of the first songs that I learned, despite the frustrating limitations imposed by the crap tuners on the guitar, was Purple Haze by Hendrix. I had to learn it by ear. You see, back in the gloomy days of the late 80's, there just wasn't that many guitar tabs around. Not in Finland, anyway. Later I did find an instructional guitar playing manual at the local library, with a few pages dedicated to the art of Jimi Hendrix. Mainly, the only viable option to learn any contemporary rock song, or even any classic from the days long gone, was either to learn it by ear, or to resort to the occassional tabs provided by the international guitar magazines – if you were fortunate enough to spot these much-sought publications at your local bookstore. (These fuckin' millennials have it SO easy!) On the other hand, learning to play primarily by ear must have developed my improvisational skills a great deal, as an added bonus. Improvisation is not so much about throwing up some pre-programmed fancy gimmicks at any given chance, but actually LISTENING to what your fellow musicians are playing and responding accordingly.

Next up: grey.

I think it was my dear wife, once again, who first introduced me to the band Thrice, by playing the song Digital Sea from the band's double album Alchemy Index, a long, long time ago. The band's vocalist/guitarist Dustin Kensrue is one of those few singers, who are blessed with a distinctive voice that speaks, or to be more precise, sings volumes. He might not have the same gravitas like Mark Lanegan or Tom Waits, but nevertheless, he has the voice of a protagonist who's been to hell and back. Mark Lanegan sounds like he's got a season ticket, and Tom Waits sounds like he's the devil running the show – or, to put it in Waits' own words:

”Don't you know, there ain't no devil,

that's just God when he's drunk...”

 Tom Waits: Heartattack and Vine

Anyways, the lyrics in a Thrice song could be compiled of a list of phone numbers, or the decimals of Pi (like Kate Bush actually did), and it would still sound like a profound wisdom concerning the transformative journey of being fully human.

Thrice: The Grey

Last but not least, the colour: turquoise.

For years, I actually thought that Boards of Canada was indeed a Canadian outfit. Y'know, indie bands in particular come up with these band names that have some funny and ironic twist. Somewhere along the way, it finally dawned on me that this magnificent electronic duo is actually from Scotland. Well, of course it is! If my memory isn't playing any tricks on me now, I'm pretty sure that Soulsavers and Hidden Orchestra are Scottish, too. And they all have something in common. Each of these electronic outfits has an extraordinary and unique, boss-level prominance in the way they manage to capture emotion in their instrumentals.

Boards of Canada released a 5-minute electronic epic titled Turquoise Hexagon Sun on the album Music Has the Right to Children in 1998. The name of the song is actually a reference to the duo's recording studio Hexagon Sun. It makes it even more marvellous, that an instrumental track with a title deriving from something so mundane can touch your heartstrings so deeply. It's not that often, when an electronic instrumental with a hip-hop beat, glassy vintage synth motifs and deliberately lo-fi production paired with grainy samples, manage to do that. These Scottish bastards must've been onto something...

Well, that's pretty much all there was to the first day in this music challenge! I was supposed to pick one song, and I ended up writing a fucking novel about it...Tomorrow the plot shall thicken even more, when I introduce you to the theme of the day #2.

In the meanwhile, you can do yourself a favour and listen to:

Boards of Canada: Turquoise Hexagon Sun

Stay tuned! Cheers!

[brokehorrorfan]

Best New Horror Movies on Netflix: Summer 2017

I know there's an overwhelming amount of horror movies to sift through on Netflix, so I've decided to take out some of the legwork by compiling a list of the season's best new genre titles on Netflix's instant streaming service.

Please feel free to leave a comment with any I may have missed and share your thoughts on any of the films you watch. You can also peruse past installments of Best New Horror Moves on Netflix for more suggestions.

1. Clown

Before Spider-Man: Homecoming swings into theaters, watch director Jon Watts' feature debut. Beginning as a faux-trailer that went viral, Clown was essentially willed into existence with the aid of genre favorite Eli Roth (Hostel, Cabin Fever) as a producer. Andy Powers (Oz) stars as a dad who comes across an old clown costume to wear to his son's birthday party, only to find that he physically cannot remove it. He then develops an insatiable hunger for children, soon learning that he must sacrifice five kids in order to remove the suit. Laura Allen (The 4400) plays his wife, while Peter Stormare (Fargo) provides the ancient, demonic history of clowns. Not your typical killer clown movie, Clown combines classic monster movie motifs, body horror elements, supernatural undertones, and gallows humor into one coulrophobic package. Read my full review of the film here.

2. Beyond the Gates

Beyond the Gates was clearly made by horror fans for fellow fans. The 80-minute romp can best be described as Jumanji meets The Beyond. Estranged brothers Gordon (Graham Skipper, Almost Human) and John (Chase Williamson, John Dies at the End), along with Gordon’s girlfriend, Margot (Brea Grant, Halloween II), find and play an old VCR game. They must obey the tape’s host (Barbara Crampton, Re-Animator) in order to solve the mystery of their father's disappearance. It's slightly hindered by a limited budget - the set-up is slow and the ending is a tad anticlimactic - but it's so spirited along the way that the faults barely register. First-time director Jackson Stewart taps into the VHS nostalgia to create a film that would feel perfectly at home on a mom-and-pop video store shelf in the late '80s. Read my full review of the film here.

3. The Eyes of My Mother

The Eyes of My Mother is too pensive for horror fans look for typical blood and scares, but those who appreciate arthouse fare are likely to get wrapped up in its unsettling tone. Writer/director Nicolas Pesce makes an impact with his debut, utilizing stark black-and-white photography to explore a character study illustrating the repercussions of murder. The story is told in three chapters, which each one showing a significant familial moment in a woman's life that shapes her into the disturbed individual she ultimately becomes. It’s a slow burn, even at a mere 76 minutess, but every moment is spent ruminating in its dark tone.

4. Backcountry

Backcountry is based on a true story of a black bear attack. The predator doesn't show up until two thirds of the way through the film; the rest of the time is spent developing the relationship between Alex (Jeff Roop) and Jenn (Missy Peregrym, Reaper), who embark on what's supposed to be a romantic and relaxing weekend hike through the woods. Tensions first rise upon the introduction of an Irish backpacker (Eric Balfour, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre), then again when the couple gets lost in the dizzying forest. It finally takes the form of a suspenseful survival thriller when the ferocious bear begins attacking their campsite. The investment in character development is worthwhile, as it causes the viewer to care about them, thereby making the final act even more harrowing. Real bears were used during production, adding to the ripe intensity.

5. Dig Two Graves

The first act of Dig Two Graves could be mistaken for a coming-of-age drama - not only thematically but also stylistically - as a young girl (Samantha Isler, Captain Fantastic) from a podunk town attempts to reconcile with her brother's death. Things really heat up when a trio of creepy men tell her they can bring him back to life... but someone else has to take his place. The story is structured in an interesting way, sprinkling in flashbacks that contextualize the actions taking place in the present. Isler delivers a brilliant performance, as does Ted Levine (The Silence of the Lambs), who plays her grandfather, the town's sheriff.

6. XX

XX is a horror anthology made up of four segments written and directed by females, each one strong and unique. “The Box” by Jovanka Vuckovic adapts a Jack Ketchum short story about a boy who's forever changed upon seeing the contents of a mysterious box. “The Birthday Party” by Annie Clark (better known as musician St. Vincent) is a darkly comic tale about a woman who finds her husband dead on the day of her daughter's birthday party. “Don’t Fall” by Roxanne Benjamin (Southbound) turns a serene hike into a blood-thirsty creature feature. “Her Only Living Son” by Karyn Kusama (The Invitation) finds a mother learning a deep, dark secret about her son. There's not much of a through line outside of them all being female-led (3/4 of which are maternal roles), though neat stop-motion animation wraps around the tales. Several familiar faces populate the cast, including Melanie Lynskey (Heavenly Creatures), Natalie Brown (The Strain), and Mike Doyle (Law & Order: Special Victims Unit). It's no secret that we need more female voices in film, and XX is a potent declaration that's impossible to ignore.

7. Stake Land II: The Stakelander

Despite a terrible title that could be mistaken for a joke, Stake Land II: The Stakelander is a sequel to Stake Land, Jim Mickle's impressive 2010 vampire film (which you should watch first; it's also on Netflix). Mickle resigns to executive producer, but his co-writer, Nick Damici, returns to pen the script. Damici also reprises his role as Mister, reuniting with Connor Paolo as Martin. The vampire slaying duo embark on a journey across a Mad Max 2-style post-apocalyptic wasteland infested with ferocious vampires, which resemble zombies more than your traditional bloodsuckers. As is often the case, it's the other humans that prove to be the real threat. Like its predecessor, the film finds a rare balance between drama and intensity. It's not as effective as the original, but fans won't be disappointed by the follow-up.

8. Tag

Tag (also known as Riaru onigokko) is not for everyone, but it's too gleefully weird not to warrant a recommendation. Written and directed by Sion Sono (Suicide Club), the Japanese film opens with a bus full of school girls getting sliced in half in one fell swoop. It only gets stranger from there as the infinite possibilities of multiple universes are explored. One girl survives each time, continually awakening in different realities after watching all her friends get killed in gory fashions - including a teacher mowing down her class with a mini-gun. I thought it might be adapted from a manga, as it has that bizarre, fantastical feel to it, but it's instead based on a novel. It's dreamlike and absurd but not without heart.

9. The Windmill

The Windmill (formerly known as The Windmill Massacre) is a slasher film from the Netherlands, although it's (mostly) in English. It follows a guided bus tour of Holland that breaks down near a mysterious windmill. One by one, the passengers are picked off by a cool-looking killer armed with a scythe. With glossy production value and a dark tone, it feels more like a throwback to late '90s slashers rather than the golden age of the '80s - but there's still some solid gore and practical effects. It doesn't reinvent the wheel, but the film offers a slightly more involved plot than the average slasher, including flawed characters and supernatural elements. It's also gleefully mean-spirited to the very end.

10. Man Vs.

As you may have guessed from the name, Man Vs. uses a survival reality show as the framing device for a creature feature. Doug (Chris Diamantopoulos, Silicon Valley) is the survival expert/host, filming himself in the Canadian wilderness - only to learn that he's not alone. It would have been cheaper to make a found footage film, but it's more effect as a traditional movie - though there are some shots from Doug's gear. The set-up is a bit slow, however you may learn some survival tips along the way. The story essentially becomes Survivorman vs. Predator in the final act. Unfortunately, the CGI creature is Syfy-level bad, preventing the big reveal from having much impact, but Diamantopoulos delivers a solid performance nonetheless.

11. Abattoir

Abattoir is directed by Darren Lynn Bousman (Saw II-IV, Repo! The Genetic Opera), based on the same named graphic novel he created. It follows a real estate journalist (Jessica Lowndes, 90210) and a detective (Joe Anderson, The Crazies) as they investigate a series of houses in which tragedies occurred having the offending rooms torn out. They end up in a Twin Peaks-esque town where a local (Lin Shaye, Insidious) tells them of Jebediah Crone (Dayton Callie, Sons of Anarchy), an enigmatic reverend attempting to build a gateway to pure evil. Although set in the present, the picture is an unabashed love letter to film noirs of the 1940s and ‘50s. While the execution of the fascinating concept is lacking, Bousman manages to create a wonderfully imaginative neo-noir universe rife with spooky atmosphere. Read my full review here.

Bonus: The Keepers

If you were among the throngs of viewers morbidly captivated by Making a Murderer, The Keepers will be your new true crime fix. The Netflix original documentary series is every bit as compelling and frustrating as Making a Murderer, but the heinous crimes are even more stomach churning. The story revolves around an unsolved murder case of 26-year-old nun in 1969 and her then-students who have teamed up decades later to try to get to the truth. There appears to be a cover up that involves sexual abuse at the hands of a priest. The show consists of seven hour-long episodes. It probably could have been shaved down to five, but it's structured in such a way that make you want to keep binge watching.

Bonus: Riverdale: Season 1

Riverdale is like Twin Peaks meets Pretty Little Liars by way of Archie Comics. It reinvents the classic Archie characters for a modern audience with an interesting murder/mystery plot. I'm admittedly beyond the key demographic for the trashy teen drama that ensues, but the first season is fun enough, albeit inconsistent, to hook me. Several of the younger actors deliver great performances, given the heavy-handed material, but it's even more fun to see the parents played by '90s stars like Luke Perry (Beverly Hills, 90210), Mädchen Amick (Twin Peaks), Robin Givens (Head of the Class), and Skeet Ulrich (Scream). If you enjoy MTV's Scream, you'll likely get a kick out of this one as well.