#throw these fuckers in prison omg

[oscar-isaac]

the nickelodeon documentary has me so fucked up right now 💀

[slicksquid]

more in my sudden dragon’s dogma addiction: just did the “arousing suspicion” quest and WHAT THE FUCK

[thatpunkmaximoff]

Story: 4 out of 5 Smut: 4 out of 5

Who told me to read this book? Lol. I thought I was just in for an ex con railing a widow. I was not expecting a paranormal romance. There was so much heartbreak, and when the ghost came to the realization that they were the ghost.. oh my god.

I… I don’t have much to say. It was a damn good book, but I just… I don’t know.

Enjoy my ramblings, but head's up.. they're super spoiler-y..

* Mysterious mail showing up..? No thanks.

* “I’ll wait forever if I have to.” — umm, wtf?! Who in prison is being creepy af?

* Why would you reply?! 😂

* Okay so her house is spooky af 👀

* “I can still taste your skin.” — who the fuck is this Dante guy?!

* Purple splotches encircling her neck? One looks like a thumb? Is she being haunted?!

* Why do I get a feeling Aiden isn’t.. Aiden?

* Oh damn. Aiden is bold lol. He wants to bone Kayla and flat out told her.

* The words coming out of Aiden’s mouth rn.. holy shit 😏

* So she runs to Aiden when she thinks someone broke into her house. She totally wants to bone.

* Goddamn. Aiden can fuck 👀

* Now there’s a creepy man down by the tree watching Kayla? I thought I was in for straight up smut.. not some thriller/horror shenanigans.

* So the house is haunted. Cool. 👀

* She wasn’t smiling in her wedding photo to Michael and it appears as if her arm was bruised in the pic? Was Michael abusive and the wreck she mentioned earlier (the reasoning the gave for the bruises on her neck before) do something to her memory?

* GHOSTS?! Wtf is going on 😂

* Aiden and Kayla are some kinky fuckers 😏

* “If you decide this isn’t what you want, promise me you’ll end it before I fall in love with you.” // “I promise.” // “Good. But so you know, you don’t have much time.” — Jesus.. this man..

* is Aiden Dante?! I’m so fucking confused lmao. These ghosts are throwing me off.

* Oh damn. Aiden told her to get clarity and until she found it, he was gonna give her space 😬

* Well that tarot was ominous as fuck. Wtf happened in her past?! What is she blocking out?

* So little ghost boy sees Kayla and freaks? I’m gonna fucking riot if it turns out Kayla is dead and just doesn’t know it. Like her housekeeper said, some ghosts are confused. Especially if they died a tragic death. Like her husband. But what if it wasn’t her husband who died or was the only one who died..? 🥺

* SO DANTE’S THE GHOST?!

* I love Claire. Very chismosa lol

* Omg. This ghost wants revenge. What if it’s Aiden it wants revenge on? What is Dante is Aiden’s dad that he apparently killed?! Wtf is going on?!?!?!

* What… her detective friend is dead? Does that mean he’s the ghost..?

* No… no, no, no. Kayla’s not the ghost. She can’t be. No.

* Holy. Shit. What the fucking fuck.

* “Hey, bunny, did you miss me?” — 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

* Well at least they got to torture Michael in prison 🤷🏻‍♀️

[thedragonemperess]

Back with A Heist with Markiplier. How many times is this guy gonna fucking fall from the sky.

Why'd he make the circle cut thing if he could just throw it 😭😭😭

MORE CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURES!!!! I'M GOING OUT GUNS BLAZING, FUCK YEAH!!!!

Oh, yeah, I bet you love a 'little action' 😏

We just fucking killed ourselves, didn't we

OPE, NOPE, WERE STILL ALIVE

BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The camera work in these things is so beyond amazing, I'm genuinely in love with all of it, all of the time

I'M TAKING THE FUCKING HELICOPTER

I am also crippled with indecision, Mark, you're just lucky you haven't given me any genuinely hard decisions yet. Why the fuck WOULDN'T I pick the helicopter.

I THOUGHT YOU KNEW HOW TO FLY IT!!!!

....Mark-ee-plea-air? Like it's French? .....Damn, okay then.

Nah, man, I'm fucking those guards.

I have one BANGING body and a concerningly little amount of care on whether I live or die. THAT compared with YOUR SMARTS..... Might kill us all, actually.

Damn it, we didn't get to fuck the guard :(

Maybe the thing about him that you like is the fact that you worked for him in a past life? Maybe?

HOLY SHIT, THE WARDEN'S OFFICE!!!

God fucking damn it, Mr. Murder-Slaughter.

Hopefully it's not a dinner with the fucker that kidnapped us, last time. You're probably gonna end up eating human.

I'M NOT FUCKING DIGGING AGAIN.

Wait, didn't you win first place in ADWM?

HOLY FUCK

Bro, why do you wanna dig so badly?

Honestly, the fact that you're so insistent on it is making me not sure, but I'm curious as to where this is going so Imma just wait it out and see.

A voice???

ENDING NINETEEN OF FUCKING THIRTY?!?!????

I went back, Imma let you dig.

The glory of my holes, omg.

Oh my God, I can't believe that your hole actually worked. Why didn't I just trust you in the first place?

Alright, we got the box. I wanna know what's in the box.

"I was hoping you'd say that," THE WAY HE SAYS THAT IS ENOUGH FOR LITERALLY ANYONE TO FOLD. COME ON!!!

FAIRY, BE QUIETTTTTTTTT

Did they separate us from Markiplier :(

Ending 14, dope, Imma go back and wait to open the box.

I got out a notebook to keep track of my choices. So far I have shot Wade and it was revealed that Wade was Bob and the real wade shot Markiplier and then it was revealed that I was Bob and what the fuck is going on

Anyway I did all of that over again except I opened the box and WILFORD?????

There's no way in fuck Wilford isn't gay, I genuinely refuse to believe otherwise. He has on rainbow suspenders. He's fucking gay.

Why'd the video just pause for me. What.

NO ICE CREAM. I'M DONE WITH DARK. I REFUSE TO GO BACK TO MY EX.

Who the hell are you?

WILFORD, WHY ARE YOU IN YOUR UNDERWEAR AT WORK?!

I liked the slight variation that came with choosing to start digging before opening up the toilet tunnel. That was really nice.

I love his singing voice so fucking much. But also, what the fuck is happening right now?

HE KILLED HIS MOM????

OH, THAT GROWL

I love that he speaks like a 20's gang member now. And nice prison tattoo XD

.....I think I just killed a man

Why is his name Yancy all of the sudden?

A son?

YANCY, COME JOIN ME, PLEASE!!!!! PLEASE, WHY DID YOU FORGET ABOUT ME 😭😭😭

Okay, I don't know how they did it, but that DDR game was INCREDIBLY rigged

I went back to the car, now

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT???? THE MEN IN BLACK????

You mean your Crayola Colored map that you swear is genuinely good?

I love that the box's contents varies from ending-to-ending. It's amazing.

HE'S IN HIS DATE SUIT!!!!

BRO

Imma choose the engine option purely because I wanna see you with oil on your face. Just joking! Half joking? Mostly joking. .......I'm not joking.

DID THE ENGINE JUST FUCKING BLOW UP?!?!?!

I KNOW YOU!!! YOU'RE THE HOT INDIANA JONES ONE THAT TIKTOK SEEMS TO BE IN LOVE WITH!!!

Huh. Just like the detective.

You don't even have to ask, I'm abso-fucking-lutely gonna join you.

I love how we just straight-up fucking abandoned Markiplier.

ILLINOIS!!! THAT'S YOUR FUCKING NAME!!!!

Oh, that looks like the alien pillar from 2020 that kept moving without any real explanation.

THE WHIP CRACKING WHEN HE WINKS IS KILLING ME SKFHLSKAJDLLAJDJSHFKSL

That's a nice ass-shot.

NOT THE DANCING MADAGASCAR MONKEY JPEGS ✋😭

Just like Charlie Brown, I suppose

Bro, why do you walk like that

He just casually gave us a damned diamond without knowing it, Jesus fucking Christ

WHY DO WE HAVE THREE HANDS?!?!

IS THAT A GOLDEN BANANA?!?!??

Went back and decided not to join him.

NO, RUN, IT'S JUST A BOULDER, COME ON!!!!

I have gotten endings 19, 14, 18, 16, 10, 12, 11, 3, 2, and 1, in that order, so far. I think it would be hella fucking funny if I were to post my notes on this when I'm done or give them to whoever wants.

I still have 21 endings left to get, oh my God 😭

So I know it's been a while and for that I apologize but I've been busy and exhausted as fuck and there still doesn't seem to be a break for me anywhere in the new future

That being said

I've decided to get into a new fandom to help fill the void that is currently my soul

This playlists starts with Who Killed Markiplier? Chapter 1

I will be liveblogging this

Have fun watching my what I assume to be another one of my spirals of insanity

[lesdemonium]

hello hope you are having a lovely day! i just reread your modern au for the 100000th time bc its amazing and was wondering if you had any jaskier & ciri headcanons that you could share??

omg thank you SO MUCH anon! i’m so flattered you like that one, it has such a special spot in my heart haha i would love to give some headcanons bc they live rent free in my head (it’d be nice if those missed rent payments could be in the form of helping me write a second part but i am merely the flesh prison to my writing whims)

shameless plug of Ways That Can’t Be Said

jaskier teases geralt and yennefer for being wrapped around ciri’s finger but the truth is that it is jaskier who is the most In Trouble with her

by the time she’s three he cannot say no to her. she doesn’t even have to beg or throw a tantrum or anything (if she did throw a tantrum, she would get nowhere except straight home) but if she looks wistfully at anything he falls over himself with excuses for why she needs the giant stuffed giraffe

geralt started making him use cash only for outings, to curb the impulse spending

he takes ciri to museums all the time, especially if they have anything to do with art or music, and even when she was a tiny baby he’d go and just talk about the art to her

he could stand to censor himself around her more. he could claim that he wasn’t the one to teach her “fuck” (geralt), but “flying shit-fucker” was absolutely jaskier

jaskier is where ciri got her sense of Dramatiques TM and all of her teachers try to get her into theater as a result

whenever ciri needs help with homework, she goes to jaskier because he walks her through it (unlike geralt) without just giving her the answer (like yennefer)

she does not do this for math, because while jaskier technically can do math, it takes him far too much arguing with himself and she winds up confused by the time he figures out wtf is going on

she goes to geralt for math questions now

jaskier taught ciri how to play piano and a few songs on guitar and tried to teach her lute but they both got just way too anxious over her potentially breaking the lute--they’ll try again when she’s older

geralt and yennefer secretly thank every god out there that jaskier was around for ciri’s first few years bc he is absolutely the reason her language skills are so strong because he just never stopped talking to her

jaskier and ciri get into so much trouble together. so much. he’d never risk her safety but they absolutely have destroyed a couple pieces of furniture bc “well, why can’t we jump on these like trampolines?” because beds break, jaskier, that’s why

april fools day is a scary day to be in the rivia-pankratz household. the pranks have only gotten more mature as ciri grew older. yennefer always makes sure geralt has custody on april first, and geralt tries his best to be out of the house

the exploding toilet was a particularly bad year

[stonerbughead]

Maria watches friday night lights (#22)

ok I watched this a few days ago and haven’t had time to watch the finale yet but MAN 4x12 is an amazing penultimate episode. Here we goooo:

Omfg the panthers are literally being such snobby fucks about the East Dillon field. these fuckers are so classist and racist~~~ it’s too real

Feels like Julie is being very impulsive about trying to leave for habitat for humanity shit “It’s only $3,000.” “Only? Honey you’re hilarious.”

Ah yep and mindy’s in labor!! “Who the hell are you talking to?” “It’s tim, do you want to talk to him?” “NO!” 😂😭 I’m dead

I see what they did there, transitioning from Tim’s excitement about new life on the white side of town to Vince and the community mourning Calvin at his funeral on the Black side of town.

“Jess, if I go to the cops I go to jail.” UH YEAH he’s on parole, Jess, he literally can’t “do the right thing” bc he’ll get punished for it bc PRISON INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX!!!

ooooh Jess is *worried* about Vince; me too gurl. the concern is hot ngl

LOL Landry is so white.....he didn’t buy Jess a lock for her bike??

Testy Eric getting the field ready is SO funny omfg

HAHAHA they threw billy out bc he’s “too enthusiastic, whatever that’s supposed to mean.” omg he’s had five energy drinks Jesus this is hilarious

Ok Landry going out of your way to tell Vince he’s sorry about Calvin, that’s growth!

“Whose idea was this anyway?” The whole team down on their knees on a football field at night with the toothpicks: “Landry’s.”

Wow living in Texas sux, Tami has to compromise her values and apologize for giving a scared, pregnant teenage girl all her options if she wants to keep her job as a public school principal?!?! Damn this show is too real lol

“It’s trying to claw his way out.” “Claw?”

“Her way out or whoever is in there...its way out.” Okay, gender neutral, I see you billy riggins! (I got less proud when he just ran into the birthing room wearing the PPE hat and yelling, “I’m the dad!!!”)

Really, they vandalized Eric’s car?! Too much.

“I don’t feel safe taking my family over there.” OK RACIST

Yessss they tooth picked the field so they had to spend their time doing stupid shit on the field too?! That’s pretty clever honestly, evening the score.

“I understand it took West Dillon two hours to take those toothpicks out of the field.” LOL

Gotta love that a lawyer says Tami has a great case for wrongful termination but that the court system will drag it out so much it won’t be good for her career long term lolll sounds about right. Great society we have here.

Aww “Uncle Tim”!!! So cute!

Uh oh it’s another Riggins boy in this mess lol! Awww Steven. My heart! This show does such a good job of letting you linger in the heartwarming moments for a minute.

Anddd of course the anti choicers are protesting her. Oh Tami, my queen, you don’t deserve this.

“I don’t cook flesh, dad.” Lol I love how Eric gives a half hearted “oh alright” to Julie making dinner bc she didn’t cook meat 🤣

“Lions suck.” “Haha you know what? Go to hell.” I shrieked with laughter. Let Eric and Tami eat dinner with their daughters jfc!!!

Jess holding an iPod and saying she made Landry a playlist. Oh, early 2000s love

Vince is being nice to Landry about being with Jess, wow now that’s growth too! This love triangle could be a lot worse.

Jesus fuck are they ruining the East Dillon field now?! Should’ve known they wouldn’t take those toothpicks lying down.

Tim is so cute with his nephew!!

Jesus fuck the tension on this Wade/Tami/Eric conference call after the East Dillon field destruction. This season is so well crafted to bring everything in the town to a boiling point just in time for the rivalry game!!!

There’s like a fucking creek on Tim’s property too? This is some romantic, scenic shit!

Life is about owning land and family? Hmmm. Okay Tim.

Omfg Becky I can’t. “Tim I love you” how many times have we gone over that y’all do not work romantically I’m 🤦🏻‍♀️

“Vince, you think I’m stupid? You think I don’t know what you up to right now?” Ahhhh not Jess showing up at Vince’s door when he’s going to avenge Calvin! I love that she figured it out just from what he said to Landry alone...the tension, the chemistry, the emotion!

Jess slides down the door!! Classic move of distress~

Ah Tim was W A Y too happy, it figures that their car scheme would be discovered now. And of course Tim is gonna take the fall so Billy can be with his family oh Tim 🥺

Damn!!! Vince got out of the car as the light turned from red to green trying to flee ?!!! 😭 “My mom’s not supposed to bury me, I’m supposed to bury my mama!” Ugh such a good line. Poor Vince.

Stfu, Joe— “we called every player on our team they’re all accounted for.” of course they are, Joe McCoy, mmhmm

Ah yes, grown men arguing about toothpicks while a crowd watches outside.

“The thing we gotta remember here is that in the end this is just a football game.” And Eric’s like, “nah actually, I’m getting harassed, thanks!”

Ah Jess was waiting for Vince when he came home 🥺 (Ooooop did Jess end up standing Landry up accidentally. Well fook.)

Oh, Tim. fuckkkkk this capitalist shit show— like, Tim is taking the fall so they could make sure Mindy could deliver a healthy baby without absurd medical debt and tbh I assume they still have debt !!!! We love a functioning society right?

Ahhh Eric throwing the phone that won’t stop ringing is the inevitable catharsis mmhmm

Damn the amount of stress that Tami and Eric combined are under is...oooof! They deserve better!

Omg wait and the actual game happens next episode?!!! I love this show, it’s so well written gahhhh

(See you next time)

[oh-theatre]

Sycamore High: A Mission (Chapter 13)

A/N: I was very tempted to tag J but not all the characters are suffering yet so... maybe one-day 

summary: Paul decides Jail doesn't sound so bad

words: 1,614

warnings: Crying, negative thoughts, cursing, abuse mention, blood (not too graphic but its there)

Ao3 Link

Paul was done, no you know what? He was further than done, he was over it. He was exhausted, he had way too much shit going on and this? This put the entire world on thin fucking ice.

“Hear that universe? You’re on thin fucking ice” He declares angrily as he stormed the halls the next morning. “Where are you fucker” Paul mumbled scanning the tired halls full of zombie students. He finally spotted him, the little sleaze. No, not even sleaze, that was reserved for Ted. He made his way towards the locker but abruptly stopped being interjected.

“Omg, it’s stage 5 Paul” Ted teases stepping into Paul’s murder path. He glared at his friend, nothing but his mission occupied his mind.

“Not now Ted” he warned pushing his friend into the locker, horror-struck him as he heard his friend groan in pain. “Shit, shit I’m so sorry Ted, I wasn’t thinking” he ranted, Ted, with the help of Bill regained his former posture. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you”

“Eh, I’m used to it” Ted stayed simply shrugging his shoulders. Another wave of guilt hit Paul, well that doesn’t make me feel better. “So What brings stage 5 Paul to school today?” Ted asked, rubbing his side carefully. Paul bit back his lip.

“He-“ Paul shot a glare towards his target “Did it again, he hurt her again and I’m just-“ he sucked in a sharp breath “I am very much done, so I have decided to spend the rest of my life in jail” Paul seethed

“Oh so you get to murder him, but I don’t get to murder Billy” Bill complained, the other two looked at him with hints of shock and respect. They were taken aback by the sudden sass and serious tone their usually calm and nice friend displayed. Ted wished he had taken this change more seriously, but alas.

~~~

“I just want my friend back!” A pained voice shouted through the rain

“Well, he’s gone!” Was the simple angry response that left the two shatter

~~~

“Just saying, I’m Sherlock so switch my motives and I’d be an amazing Moriarty” Bill explained calmly. Ted burst into a fit of laughter, nudging Bill softly who’s face softened at his friends laugh. He shied away finally retreating back to his locker and Paul turned back to his unlucky victim. He suddenly had a thought and turned back to Ted.

“Wait why are you here? You should be… not here” Paul cringed at his own phrasing but they go the point.

“Wow…” Ted said “Paul Matthews everybody” he mimicked a fake round of applause, Bill snickered. “It’s chill, I’m just grabbing my stuff and then leaving” Paul was still not satisfied, leaving to where? Obviously, Ted caught on to his friend's concerns and continued “Bills dad is taking me home, he dropped us off and is just waiting for me now” Paul nodded slowly, Ted, deciding his friend was satisfied with the answer turned back to his locker grabbing the rest of his things. “I should get going, Professor Hidgens and...Professor Hidgens-“ He paused clearly holding back something “Are coming over later to discuss some stuff, so… please don’t commit murder and if you do don’t get caught. And say hi to the girls for me!” He declared finalizing his rant, he turned to Bill who immediately jumped into a quick but cautious embrace. Ted accepted happily before waving a quick goodbye to Paul and disappearing into the crowd of practically dead students. 

“I’m worried about him” Bill said softly after a moment, the murdering mantra had now ceased as Paul faced his friend. He sighed heavily and exhausted giving his friend a reassuring look.

“Me too but… he has an army of people who just want the best… he will be ok” Who Paul was trying to convince, he wasn’t sure. Bill nodded with the same uncertainty before deciding he had finished at his locker and walking to his first-class but not before telling Paul goodbye. 

“Alright, now it’s just you and me” He stayed glaring at the arrogant figure who was still leaning against his locker, wearing his stupid red cap and stupid smoke club shirt. “Oh it’s on, Stage 5 Paul is fucking pissed” 

~~~

“...and then we can work on finding you a new home” that’s it, Ted had heard enough. He had sat for the past hour listening to 2 adults who, bless their hearts were trying, but who clearly knew absolutely nothing.

“New home?” He seethed, his tone became dark “No, no, there is no ‘new home’ ok?” he glared at the pair, really hoping it had the effect intended. “You don’t get it, this will blow over, I will go home, keep my fucking mouth shut and live my life.” Now he was going, he did feel bad the Professors clearly just wanted to help but Ted was done with everyone trying. If they couldn’t do something right now, then he didn’t care for their bullshit ‘tries’. Ted grunted loudly, he wanted to throw something but he didn’t dare. Not only had Bills father been an amazing person and truly cared for Ted, but he was also scared. Would that all turn if he made a mistake now? “There is no new home” he said calmly, but everyone could feel the darkness that poured out. “I will go home, and I will listen to my parent's fight as always. I will fear my mornings, as always. And I will get hit and shoved for being-“ he froze in horror, he had done it. He actually said it, oh god…

No

No

I want my mom

No

He clasped a hand over his mouth, creating a prison for his words. The professors who had been shocked into silence up until now stood. Approaching Ted carefully, please don’t hurt me, I’m sorry. He cowered preparing himself for a blow, instead felt himself wrapped into a steady embrace. Ted could feel a heartbeat, it was even, unlike Ted who shook violently against the mans hold. He opened his eyes to find two beautiful blue ones staring at him, Professor Hidgens kneeled next to him,  he gestured towards his chest. Ted glanced for a moment feeling a confused flustered feeling rise upon his face.

“Mimic my breathing Ted” The Professor said, finally something I knew how to do. 

“5 things you can see Ted” 

“Bill? 5 things you can see, right now” Ted repeated

So with a shaky breath, he began. “I can see you, and.. and the couch… I can see Professor Hidgens” he shook his head pulling away from Chad's embrace, who simply smiled pridefully at him. “I can see my backpack… and… my hands” the two men nodded patiently. 

“Good, now 4 things you can…” his voice drifted off. Ted sighed feeling himself steady as he recalled the faces of his dear friends. 

“I can see you, Ted” He said, reassuring himself that was the name of his friend. Ted nodded smiling. They continued, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. 

And so Ted did what he had told Bill to do weeks ago. Finally calming down, Bill's father suggested he go upstairs and get some rest while the men discussed the matters at hand. Ted wasn’t one to oppose free sleep, So he obliged.

I’m here, I’m right here Bill

~~~

“Can we adopt him?” Chad asked innocently 

“Simple answer, definitely” Henry responder almost immediately “Actual answer, love you know that’s not how this works” he said disappointed, stirring the tea that Corey, Bills father, had provided the couple. 

“But… isn’t it? The boy is being… “ he paused, Henry gave him a look. No need to say it, we both know now. “I mean he can’t possibly go home” Chad whined, he was frustrated. Henry understood, and he recognized this behavior. Chad had an inexplicable but beautiful need to protect people, Henry loved- nay, adored that about him. But he hated seeing Chad look so… defeated. 

“So he stays here, for now, we figure out what measures need to be taken to remove him from the house-“ Henry paused, how could he have been so stupid. “Ted's mother…” Henry whispered almost impressed by his revelation. “How could we forget Ted's mother!” He exclaimed Chad tilted his head confusion riddling his soft, sick face. “Think about it..”

And so they did, and finally, after long hours into the day, the pair finally came to a conclusion.

Adopt-

Not yet! Patience little one, patience

~~~

“Are you absolutely insane!?” Alice exclaimed rushing over to her brother. He gave her a stupid grin feeling himself slip away. He stood in the doorway to their home, blood dripping down his nose and a very dark eye. He didn't care however, he stood in their doorway pridefully having also a trace of someone else's blood gracing his knuckles. Alice assessed the situation, rushing to the kitchen grabbing an ice pack and the first aid kit. She leads her brother over to the couch and began tending to his probably broken nose. “You are so lucky mom isn't home-”

“Paul!” The pair turns to a sudden bang on the door, they share the same look of alertness. “Paul I know you're in there, open up!” The previously absent feeling of panic now set into Paul as he recognized the angry yet concerned voice from the other side of the door. 

“Emma” He whispers, very scared for what might happen as he stands up and opens the door to the one tiny angry girl on the other side.

[merlinthoughts]

Season 1 Episode 4 - The Poisoned Chalice

- god fucking dammit here we go again, i'm bloody done with my life and do not, at all, want to see merlin die bc i don't remember anything except that, yeah, he dies and someone has to get off their ass and save the motherfucking day and kiss him

- i realise how much i swear in these posts bc 1. when do i not? 2. i'm emotionally invested 3. i have no other excuse i just like swearing

- AAAND NIMUEHS IN CAMELOT SHE THINKS SHE'S SO SLY WITH HER HEAD THING

- id recognise her in a split second tbfh, she aint subtle

- *heterosexual tension*

- merlins skin be looking so smooth this episode, this boy be wearing lots of Dove

- he looked so excited to be in the banquet, then arthur just fucking slashes him with “not quite” and his hopes and dreams are destroyed

- “wanna see what you’ll be wearing tonight?” arthur says as he's behind the fucking changing curtains, about to get undressed and show merlin his birthday suit

- i honest to god thought that was where he was going, but no, he was just getting something from behind it

- “tonight you’ll be wearing the official ceremonial robes of the servants of camelot” IT'S A FUCKING DRESS ISN'T IT

- aw damn id have preferred a dress

- that smile shared between them was the most adorable scene

- god

- i

- fucking

- love

- their

- smiles 

- sm

- best thing ive ever seen

- i mean… hunty look at that piece of glistening butter beauty

- wow ok back to the episode:

- bros being bros and giving each other a handshake to destroy the mortal enemy pack and put together a family, we stan.

- as if a servant who has only had eye sex with another servant ONCE would trust them enough to say that one of the chalices were poisoned. like??? “ur the only one i could tell” LMAO NO?

- she's a sly fucking dog tfbh

- “if he kills arthur, uthers soul will be broken and camelot will fall” at this rate uther prob wouldn't care if his son dies or not, look at him, he's already mentally broken. he has anxiety and paranoia over magic. child services where u at in the medieval ages?

- i wouldn't believe a word she said, or well, id have believed it was poisoned but id say yeah no damn way you aren't in on it if you know which one it is. bayard wouldn't tell a fucking servant.

- HE'S GONNA SNAP ISN'T HE

- MERLIN FUCKING SNAPPED

- yknow what we say here folks? U DO U MERLIN

- okay i was fine if uther made bayard drink it but like the moment uther said “mmmh… no.” and slowly turned to merlin i think my arteries just crunched together and died so

- “if it is poisoned, he’ll die” HE'S FUCKING SCARED MERLIN WILL PASS AWAY ISN'T HE?

- “it's fine” he says, then starts to fucking choke

- ah fuck he's down

- my boy is down

- FUCK ME SIDEWAYS WITH A CHAINSAW

- ARTHUR CROUCHES NEXT TO HIM LIKE “BB NO”

- lmfao bayard looks so shocked, his face is in disbelief and confusion, he's like who tf done me bad

- arthurs carrying merlin fireman style this is what i live for folks

- did like nobody notice the flower stuck on the inside of the cup? like honestly if you take a sip you’d kinda spot it or perhaps even the person pouring the drinks would have been “is this chamomile tea? no? then what the fuckery-doo is this leaf in here for?” yknow. it's like that scene in Matilda when the angry buff lady completely missed a fucking salamander in her cup when it was the size of her bloody hand. it brings out the same mood honestly

- does gaius have an index for these books or does he just have every page memorised and know exactly what page to go bc I FUCKING NEED THAT it would make bio so much easier if i knew what page it was on instead of looking back and forth from the homework sheet to my textbook, then closing it by accident and having to find the index again for that specific page i need

- arthur wants to fucking go on a life-or-death journey to save merlin i've never been so happy

- this is honestly my favourite episode, like it may be really fucking angsty but i love it so much

- arthur betrays his dad and leaves his room even after being told not to just so he can save a servants life is literally my new moto

- NO IT WON'T LOAD MY NETFLIX IS STUCK ON 99%

- okay so while i'm waiting for my shit to load, i just discovered the new fucking tumblr rule starting dec 17 and i'm like 0.2 inches away from just spamming NSFW pics on here just for laughs

- like hunty, that won't stop people from posting elsewhere or for thinking about sex bc like??? whatchu gonna do tumblr?? get the fbi to erase it from our minds

- i think nOT thot

- watch me get flagged for just using the fucking term “NSFW”

- i'm gonna end up asterisking everything (is asterisking a word? wow it has red under it so like probably not but i just added it to my dictionary so uhh it is now)

- by asterisking i dont mean furry kin shit ew no

- i mean like N*FW, s*x, t*mblr, m*rthur

- god it took me like 20 minutes to calibrate my fucking wifi and fix the connection problem

- wow the stage for the poison increased by 75% in 30 mins, damn

- merlins like like having a conniption on his bed lmao, chanting arthurs name and sweating lot

- do we ever find out how uther gets that scar bc i'm like 100% positive arthur was a little child and swayed his fucking sword too hard just as uther rounded the corner. the sword then collided into his fucking brain and destroyed a good part of his intelligence, targeting especially his morals on how to accept people and how to be a good father

- that’s my theory

- merlin starts talking enchantments in his sleep while gwens watching, and gaius is just there like wtf merlin ur blowing ur cover “oh! gwen!! uhhh sorry. he’s just... in a latin study group in his pastime and has an oral presentation in minutes”

- omg, nimueh, stfu

- i didn't know dinosaurs existed back then, this reptile be whack

- y’know what's funny? ppl thinking dinosaurs didn’t exist. i find creationism very very very intriguing bc how fucking stupid could you be

- that sword throw was faker than my moms tits

- arthur could have done better

- k but like what if merlin’s hand wasn’t under the covers? like he was just throwing that blue ball around right in front of gwen

- can arthur like not hear her? nimuehs literally enchanting the rocks right behind his ear lobes and arthur acts nothing of it until those said rocks collapse and he gasps and suddenly he realises shes evil

- also his fucking hair in this scene looks glorious. perhaps bc it's pushed back rather than his bowl cut, but its doing things to my abdomen

- i thought for a second she was pulling off her mask to say “nimueh” and arthur was gasping bc he only recognised her after her hair was shown, just like in that scene with joker and harvey in the hospital

- OH RIGHT THE SPIDERS I LIKE COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THOSE SONS OF A GUNS

- i’d be dead if those spiders came crawling up to eat me lmfao

- k so nimueh went from :) to >:D in half a second

- i'm smelling up those symbolisms, boys

- watch out pals cause here are some of them:

- merlin is the LIGHT of arthur’s life

- he LIGHTS up the party

- he gives arthur a BRIGHTER future

- he's the GUIDE for his path

- hahhahahaha

- i'm serious when i say i have a huge fear of insects (spiders count in that too, no discrimination) so i'm just putting that there, saying to yall id be fucking terrified

- gaius would be so confused, like we don't see his face here but merlins close-up sweaty concentrated frown, but he’s literally just screaming “ARTHUR!!” “FASTERRR!!” “YESS!!” “CLIMB!!!” gaius would be looking like he walked into something he wasn't supposed to. prob thinking he should just let the kid die so he doesn’t have to deal with this shit anymore

- UTHER LOCKED HIS SON AWAY I'M FUCKING QUESTIONING HIS PARENTING SKILLS

- that's grounding???? throwing ur child in prison???

- yes 999 can i have child services on his ass

- gwens so smart honestly i love her

- pretending to be a maiden for the food, god what a queen

- arthur buying it and saying “yuck you say this is food?! disgustang!”

- the fact that i misspelled disgusting but it autocorrected to disgustang (which is originally what i wanted but autocorrect shouldn’t have known) makes me consider if i should really check my dictionary…. who knows what words are on there

- they’re so smart

- and then this fucker ruins it all while eating his food, checking her out and saying yeah arthurs a prick, hyuck hyuck, realising only that wait fuck u aint the maiden

- how’d they know GWEN was the one not supposed to have delivered the food, what if it was that chick right there???

- welll….. maybe it's because gwen took her sweet time up those steps, staring as if she couldn’t blink at the guards below

- i forget what happens at the end of this episode besides the kiss, and there's like 9 minutes left my fingers may rot at this point

- wake him up! wake him up!

- OH WAIT HE DOESN'T FUCKING WAKE UP DOES HE AND EVERYONE PANICS

- YEAH OKAY I'M SEEING THAT NOW

- MERLIN STOPPED BREATHING

- LMAO GWEN IS IN TEARS

- “HE'S DEAD” SHE SAYS

- ARTHUR BB COME IN HERE TO KISS UR HUBBY ALIVE

- OH WAIT UR IN FUCKING PRISON

- WAIT UP, HE'S ALIVE AND SHE KISSES HIM AFTERWARDS????

- FUCK ME I THOUGHT FOR THE WHOLE EPISODE THE KISS HAPPENED BC HE COULDN'T WAKE UP THAT'S FUCKING WITH ME I DIDN'T KNOW

- i keep forgetting to switch up the cap locks, sorry if it seems im screaming im legit using my inside voice for most of the time just emphasizing my words a little more

- goddamn, everytime they say mercia i just think of “murica”, like those americans on the 7th of july or whatever date the “we love our country” day is, chanting it as they throw around beers and fireworks as people gather round in jerseys or crop tops

- it's not that hard to spot the european on here

- the most celebrated holiday here which contains a lot of beers and big pub gatherings (besides every fucking night honestly) is either new years, lowkey stereotypically correct saint patricks, and ig easter monday but that's more for the kiddos

- i mean ofc christmas and all that shit but im not the most devoted christian, i just like presents and small gatherings among good friends

- wow okay it wasn't the 7th of july

- i mean at first i looked up “USA day” (i couldn’t remember the name) and it popped up today’s date, and i was like no thats not it at all. dec?? its in like july i think. and i was close! it was july 4th.

- uther damn knows it's nimueh!!!

- i mean, he just overheard morgana and arthur talk about it, and initiated himself into a convo about it once morgana left, as his sneaky ass just slithered up like “hey man, u know that woman? yeah uhh, what she say? anything about me? no? k i know who it is tho”

- i thought he was going to apologize or like explain to arthur what's the sitch, but he just waits for five whole seconds before saying. “those who practice magic know only evil. they despise and seek to destroy goodness wherever they find it.”

- arthur, confused: sounds as if you know her

- uther, walking away: i do

- arthur:

- wow k lots of fucking quotes here cause it's the merthur reunion

- get ready babs

- arthur: still alive then?

- merlin: oh yes, just about… i understand i have you to thank for that

- arthur, leaning on the chair merlin is sitting in, stifling a smile: ah it's nothing, a half-decent servant is hard to come by. i was only dropping by to make sure you’re alright… i.... expect you to be back to work tomorrow

- merlin, watching arthur as he slightly walks away having embarrassed himself: arthur... thank you

- arthur, slowly: you too

- they stare for like 5 whole seconds

- arthur, uncomfortable: well… get some rest

- there we go folks: my eulogy.

- hope someone reads it at my funeral

[orangememory]

Nirvana in Fire 2 : Episode 5 Recap

Episode 5, some plots untwist and some plots twist, we see ample sprinkling of bromance, and one more badass joins the plot. So on we go! (Note: This recap may be slightly longer in order to explain some plot points. Thanks!)

Last Episode:

Episode 4 neatly wrapped up our Datong baddies in a bow, and threw Pingjing for a loop when he learned that Daddy was playing everything behind the scenes, including Pingjing’s own presence in Datong. The investigative trio of smols sets off with an army retinue to Jinling, yet something isnt adding up for Dragon boy. What could it be?

Episode 5 Recap:

- Our look into the journey of Pingjing and company is thankfully interrupted with a few cute moments between Pingzhang and wife Qianxue, who is the mosg beautiful thing I have laid my eyes on in NIF2 till now. Pingzhang and wifey are a stunning, utterly beautiful couple and they are adorable together as they figure out Pingjing’s route - and where the enemy will lay a trap. Pingzhang figures it will be near the Qizhu stream.

- In the retinue, General Ji, who has come to escort the prisoner with his soldiers, suggests a rest stop at…*drumroll* Qizhu, which is well protected by two cliffs on the side and is a good spot for resting. However, its quite close to the capital, and Yuanqi has his doubts as to why theyre not quickly moving on. However Pingjing agrees to the arrangement haltingly. My spidey senses are already tingling!

- We again interrupt this transmission with a sweet moment between Lin Xi and Pingjing, who invites her to the capital, thinking she will work at Jifeng Hall and promises to show her all the sights which most people dont know of. Lin Xi declines in her own way.

- A note here about the relationship between Lin Xi and Pingjing, although I do love the trope where one part of the couple is Tsundere and the other person turns them around - I dont exactly get a pulse on the Lin Xi-Pingjing bond. Pingjing isn’t a smitten puppy, but a rather straightforward guy trying to thank Lin Xi for her help, while Lin Xi isnt’ tsundere, but more like a professional and an introvert? She deals with Pingjing like one would do with a colleague, albeit I do feel that she has added baggage from her mother’s promise not to marry Pingjing or from the military. If this was your typical tsundere type relationship I think I would be more drawn to it, but right now I just see them as partners more than anything else? IDK. I think Zhang Huiwen is doing a good job, as is Liu Haoran, but I don’t find the easy bknd between them yet.

- As they go back to camp, Pingjing is still on tenterhooks and wondering why Duan Tongzhou or the enemies are not here yet and why Magistrate Zhang is not speaking. But then, boom! Our Ancient Chinese Human Torch is here, flinging darts everywhere, his first line of attack being Poor Magistrate Zhang. Ouch! What a way for the poor man to go!

- Pingjing immediately starts retaliating, and a few air moves and dart vs sword fights later, Duan Tongzhou is surrounded by General Ji’s soldiers. However he is extremely calm in the face of this madness, and doesn’t make a move, instead asking Pingjing if he had never expected this. But in fact, Pingjing had.

- And then, the plot untwists itself and makes a Banruo level plan by the baddies. My explanation follows, however there may be some assumptions because I felt there were a few gaps in the explanation or the subs.

- Pingjing has deduced several things about the last attack in Datong, where policeman Qian was killed. The main question asked in the last episode was why was an insignificant man like Qian killed whereas Magistrate Zhang was spared? The plan was two-fold. Police dude Qian was a man with no living family or relatives, if arrested, it would be likely he would easily open his mouth and talk to Pingjing about Minister Song Fu’s treachery. On the other hand, Magistrate Zhang had a wife and kids whom he had sent away, as long as someone ‘took care’ of them - they could shut the man up and Pingjing would never know the truth.

- Who was ‘taking care’ of Zhang’s wife and kids? No one but General Ji! Pingjing’s suspicions had been roused by a few of General Ji’s questions regarding Zhang, and how he tried to distract Pingjing from meeting the witness. There, in flashback, it is shown General Ji had a jade ring that Zhang recognized and asked him to keep his mouth shut.

- But why was General Ji colluding with Duan and Song Fu? In a discussion between Tingsheng and Pingzhang, they suspect something that is later confirmed by Pingjing. Da Yu had used all their might to specifically attack Ganzhou fortress where Pingzhang was stated (whereas they usually battled at Meiling). And that too, right when there was a supply line cut off. Definitely Duan and General Ji had to be working together to somehow spread this news to Da Yu, who would attack and defeat Ganzhou easily - running across the flat plains southward into Da Liang, where there wpuld be no army good enough to stop them - until the Shanliu Army of General Ji in Qizhou, who were sufficient in strength and training to defeat the Da Yu army. General Ji would earn high merits and rewards for saving the Empire.

- I was like, wow, shit what a gameplay! Who will throw the dice next?

- But still, why was Zhang kept alive from the last skirmish? I suspect Duan Tongzhou did have the ability to kill Zhang but not the time, because of the presence of soldiers and Pingjing who is quite good at martial arts. He took the easier target Qian - who was more likely to confess, and in a way reminded General Ji that he too was involved in this mess. I feel it was sort of a mutually assured destruction-you scratch my back I scratch yours sort of arrangement. Duan Tongzhou (and his master) were clever enough to think along the same line as Tingsheng, which means they are terrifyingly intelligent - they knew that General Ji held a grudge, they knew Changlin manor would send for assistance to far off Qizhou, and therein lay their pawn and plan.

- General Ji, while escorting Zhang, could ensure his death at the hands of Duan - and the only blame that would fall on him was not guarding a witness carefully. The other witnesses, doctors and a boat captain could easily be discredited by higher powers at the Capital - and defeat the Changlin manor’s investigation. General Ji had already colluded with the baddies and passed info to Da Yu, and his crimes of treason would be revealed, which would be a sure death. So he undertook this journey as a pretext of securing merits.

- Also, one thing I forgot to mention - Magistrate Zhang is MIA! His prisoner carriage was skewered, but he wasnt there at all. Its now when Pingjing reveals of course they had seen through the whole plan, and Uncle Yuan had spirited away the witness somehow. Gee whiz IDK who is outsmarting whom anymore. *scratches head*

- General Ji is furious and burns in anger as to why the Changlin manor should score all merits, underlying a theme that we had discussed earlier, too much trust and imperial favour only leads to ruin, or at least, dire suspicions. This is one part of what had happened in the original NIF, where the Prince Qi- Lin family bond was hated by evil asses like Xia Jiang, and the power-hungry Xie Yu. Pingjing is furious when he hears those words, exclaiming that his dad’s years of service were not just for merits! But who is listening boy, def not all those jealous of your fam, nuh-uh!

- General Ji vows to kill them all because his army is loyal to him. Everyone draws their swords, including Yuanqi, however Duan is calm. (A point on Yuanqi - he has been super shocked at all these plots, showing complete naivete and anger at how these men wanted to hurt the common populace for their own ends. Although I am inclined to think he is more pure than I initially believed, I still sense he has this current of indignation that sparks through him. Anywhoooo…)

- Pingjing knows why Duan is calm as well, because something biiiig is gonna go down.(Does this boy know everything? WTF Hai Yan did you actually take out and write Lin Shu again? Because that is how I headcanon Lin Shu, loud, brash, too smart for his own good. Dont do this to me!)

- Duan Escapes and PJ follows for forest fight, but….someone comes to his aid! Who might this be, a beautiful woman whose martial arts skills are amazing? Why its DA SAO! Meng Qianxue, who is the Nihuang of this story is super competent, battling Duan with PJ and backing him into camp. She brings out the Changlin Army and the Military seal, arresting General Ji and his fuckers. Duan Tongzhou makes a last ditch attempt to escape again, but we only see the soldiers extinguishing fires in the aftermath.

- Back to our hurt puppy Pingjing, who is pissed off royally at Daddy for using him as a pawn in his game. Yuanqi, naive soul, asks Qianxue/DaSao (Imma call her DaSao from now because its cuter) how the Changlin manor was able to send soldiers right on time. And then Pingjing reveals the plot, wherein we see Daddy and Bro had discussed the ramifications of the Ganzhou attack, and deduced that General Ji would benefit the most - in order to not make any invalid accusations, they had sought his help. If he would escort them safely back to Jinling, he would earn rewards and otherwise - yeah you saw what happened otherwise. To test General Ji and train Pingjing, they had set up this entire plan.

- Pingjing calls his Dad a sly old fox (OMG), and he and Yuanqi discuss this plan with Da Sao and Uncle Yuan. Pingjing stomps off and vents cutely to Lin Xi who probably thinks where she can stick a needle to shut up the yapping puppy. However, Uncle Yuan reveals the real mastermind behind the plan is Pingzhang, which Pingjing never realises because older bro loves him soooo much and would never play him, right? Pingjing, darling, you definitely have some of your other granduncle in you too. The water-buffalo one.

- Changlin manor is being spruced up for Pingjing’s return, and Pingzhang and Da Sao float beautifully among the pavilions in obviously MCS and Nihuang aspired white and blue and fur, cutely cuddling everywhere. NIF2 you dont have to make remind us of the original, you’ve already knifed us bad in that one and want to hurt us again? Old Fox Tingsheng is scolding Pingjing and taking him to task for reckless endangerment when Sly young fox Da-ge intervenes and tells Pingjing dad has been praising him behind his back allll along. What is this a discourse on Asian parenting? because my family does the same thing. :/

- Meanwhile going back to our other smols, Yuanqi returns to his manor, where new character and Yuanqi’s mom, Grand Madame Laiyang scolds him for getting involved in these hijinks. Yuanqi is a sad puppy and wants to support as a member of the Royal family, but Yuanqi’s mom wants him far far away from any court politics. She seems like a very sad, very benevolent lady who just wants to protect her son, but as we will see in upcoming episodes, she’s gonna be a hidden snake.

Grand Madame Laiyang, Mother of Xiao Yuanqi, wife of the Emperor’s deceased brother

- Lin Xi enters the Jifeng Hall hospital at the capital, where her Master has instructed her to take over, and especially care for patient Pingzhang. Old Master Li, you still tryna matchmake?

- The next scene is that of Minister Song Fu getting taken in for questioning. In Minor Character moment of the day, Minister Song sits proud and regal in his office, his eyes sad and resigned, with a candle burning as the Ministry of Justice storms in. Once the decree is handed over, he silently undoes his ministerial hat, and blows out the candle. Again, I must give excellent credit to the directors and this supporting actor - in two minutes he made an impression on me with his acceptance of his fate, the extinguishing of his life. Minister Song didn’t seem like a very dastardly man to me, but definitely influenced by the wrong ideas and wrong people.

- The next few moments are what move me the most in NIF2: the cute-as-fuck Xiao Family. The extremely adorable Crown Prince (who has actually acted with Wang Kai before and now as his grandson!) runs to his father asking about Pingjing-gege, and the Emperor indulges him. Later, at Changlin manor, Da Sao and Pingzhang battle for Pingjing’s affections, one with food and one stealing the poor child’s food - and then uniting against Pingjing when he reveals Da Sao was adopted by their mother, and Pingzhang was so in love that he asked the Emperor to marry them off when Qianxue was only 14. (cue very much awkward child marriage moment).

- The next, and very sweet scene is between Jingyan’s two babies, Tingsheng and the Emperor. The current Emperor has definitely inherited Jingyan’s genes, beating himself up for his failure in spotting Song Fu’s treason and making his brother suffer. These events have made the Emperor depressed and his cough is back, which Tingsheng tries to chide his younger bro for not taking care of his health. They remember Jingyan at this moment, and Tingsheng and Emperor have this adorable exchange. Their voices are more serious but they are the PZ and PJ of their generation. (*CUE UGLY CRYING BECAUSE JINGYAN RAISED HIS BABIES SO WELL XIAO SHU ARE YOU WATCHING?)

- The Empress meets Rasputin/ High Priest Pu Yangying, and talks to him about prayers for the fallen at Ganzhou. Pu reminds her that of course, they have to take care of this well because the Emperor regards the Changlin Manor as much as the Eastern Palace. Cue the Empress breaking into hives. Pu Yangying also passes the information of the case Pingjing has brought, and that quite a few of Grand Secretary Xun’s students may be implicated. (Secretary Xun is the Empress’ older brother). At this the Empress trembles, because anything that happens to her brother, could lead to her deposition. Hmmm.

- At Court, the Minister of Justice presents his report on interrogating Song Fu. In a twist, Song has admitted to the military ship incident, but not to conniving with General Ji, whereas General Ji explicity states that Duan Tongzhou/PA Qin has contacted him on Song Fu’s behalf. This is the first whiff of a conspiracy which is deeper than we think. Song Fu has also submitted a list of conspirators, and as it is handed to the Emperor, Grand Secretary Xun ages 20 years in one moment, paling. Will he be in trouble? The End.

Thoughts:

Aaaah, I have so many thoughts on this episode, so many, but I will try to list them coherently.

But first, INCOHERENT SCREAMING ABOUT DA SAO BECAUSE SHE ROCKS MY WORLD. I like women in armour, women being knights and how cool is Da Sao with a sword? She saved your ass Pingjing.

DID I SAY HOW GAY I AM FOR DA SAO? Meng Qianxue is not only beautiful but smart and competent, and Tong Liya makes my heart flutter. If I ever want to write self-insert fic in NIF, sorry Wang Kai, Tong Liya may be my first choice now. :D She can murder me and I would be giving heart eyes from hell (aint nobody gonna send me to heaven, I’ve watched too much porn for that. :P).  

Next, NIF2 seems to handle plots a lot more directly and the exposition is simpler. For example, in NIF1 I was puzzling over how MCS actually managed to purchase Lan Yuan Mansion with the female skeletons, until 2-3 episodes later when we realise Tong Lu’s sister was there (in the book version Tong Lu’s cousins were raped by Minister Lou, and the info about the mansion was uncovered by research). Here, Pingjing and fam explain all the details very explicitly. I dont know whether I like it, but its definitely easier to follow.

Also I hope we never stop getting the sweet family moments. It’s like Hai Yan is the evil witch in Hansel and gretel, fattening us up with loveliness before we get stabbed in the heart.

Thanks for stopping by! These recaps are not going to be very funny (and I wonder if I can continue for 50 episodes), but I hope to keep trying.

[i-write-stories-not-sins-bitch]

Episode 7

So my tumblr just… broke?

I lost what I wrote. But to summarise, Yen is using Ciri. They portaled to the woman’s home from S1 that helped ciri even after she stole the horse from her. And the fire fucker burnt the family alive. And yen’s telling her basically that she has to go to Cintra and is going with he to ‘protect’ her. But she wants her magic back and thinks Ciri is the only way to do that.

Fringilla is loosing her sway if things and elves are being killed for getting too close to the castle gates. Cahir is also being swayed slightly cause of what’s happening but he doesn’t like elves

Okay let’s continue

——

Oof hung from the castle walls

Ouch

——

JASKIER

THIS SCENE

THE MICE AND RHE PRISON ONG ITS HAPPENING

He is so beautiful

The mice are cute

“Sometimes it takes a prison cell, the tricks and takes that traitors tell. To help you see that freedom is all you got” that’s a raw line Jask

SO LOCK ME UP AND SOCK ME UP AND THROW AWAY THE KEY!! GO FUCK YOURSELF, YOU WHORESON, CAUSE YOURE THEOUGH FUCKIN WITH ME!!!

PURPOSELY AGRIVATING THE GUARD AS HE SHOULD!!

JASK CAN PLAY SPOONS OF COURSE HE CAN HE HAS SO MANY TALENTS MY TALENTED BABY

“Sing another word and ill cut ya tongue out!”

“Rude”

I FUCKIN LOVE HIS SASS AND SNARK

“Guys one of your harmonies were a little pitchy. Gordon, you’re amazing.”

oNE OF THE MICE ARE CALLED GORDON OH MY FUCKING GOD

GERALT OMG HII

Wait there was a window where Geralt was stood, and Jask was looking that was so surely Jask noticed Geralt???

It’s happening

I’m not ready

IT WAS STRAIGHT UP HUG

HE SAW GERALT, SAID HIS NAME, SAID FUCK IT AND HUGGED HIM!!! IT WASNT AFTER A BIG MONOLOGUE ABOUT HOW HE WAS LEFT AND STUFFFFF JASKIER JUST MISSED THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE MY HEART

GERALT ADMITTED THAT HE MISSED JASKIER AAAA

Ok omg jaskier is pulling out the file he has on that day and he’s SCOURING IT

PAHAHAHA “You left me on a mountain. I mean have you seen these boots? I mean, I pretty much jut slid all the way down that hill back to Caingorn.”

I love jaskier I love him sm

I

Oh my fucking god that was hot

G: “Jaskier-“

J:”Don’t fucking Jaskier me. I’m talking to you. This is how this works”

That was hot but nooo Geralt has to ruin it by butting in AGAIN and not letting Jaskier speak I’m angry

Ugh the “I made new friends, get over it” 🤨🙄 “Jealous”

——

Ok so ciri and yen are on their way to Cintra

Yen is still actin the hero

Yen also basically said she loved geralt

——

Ceinwen is a horrible name

HAHA FIONA THE NAME THAT CIRI WOULD USE

Fuck you dara

K filavandrel is saying fuk you to Fringilla and nilfgaard. Are they gon die

I’m so done with this part of the story. It’s in no way entertaining or interesting. It’s been dragged out far too long.

Oh no Fringilla gon kill em aAAALL

Ugh fuck you Stregabor

Oh no Triss is found out

——

THERE ARE SO MANY STORYLINES ugh

There are so many portraits of ciri. This woman is weird af

Who even is this man that wants ciri

Ok so this woman / mage is a necromancer?? Her test subjects start off dead?

Ok her names Lydia aparently, subtitles tell me so

——

Omg Joey Batey got BUFF holy fuck oh my god holy shit I’m I can’t do shit rn why what my he abbs back muscles shoulders face off dimples Nono Jaskier keep ur shirt off hood ok he just put the jacket over ok I can still see

I’m gonna have to rewatch this cause I’m so distracted rn

Jaskier seriously you may need to put a shirt back on cause I’m distracted

OMG ITS THE DWARVES

God I hate how people ignore Jaskier when Geralts around.

Oh wow ok suddenly Jaskiers in the background again supprise supprise

He has his Vest on too so I’m no longer as distracted, though I can still see chest hair

Ok so the dwarves are coming with Geralt and Jaskier to get ciri and yen

——

Ok so Yen is teaching her while bringing her to her room?

So basically Ciri can do magic without taking the energy from anywhere else

Oh shit she bleeeding from the eyes

Ito transported them across by screaming fuck

AND THE HORSES TOO??

——

Okay so Triss now knows Geralt thought Yen dead and that Tissaia met them

(I wanna go to bed but it’s 4pm now)

Tissaia ratted her out to the mage killer

This man talking about ciri being in the wrong hands but he is defo evil.

HE JUST SHOUTED AT TISSAIA HES TOXIC

LEAVE TISSAIA ALONE

——

Omg Fringilla is with her uncle

Fringilla is using the blood bond speech on her uncle

Oof you’re wrong my dude she is OBSESSED with power

——

Dara fuck off

Stop talking to Hedwig

I FUCKING KNEW HE WAS THE SPY BUT IT STILL HURTS

Dara you fucker

——

Cahir leave off

Just drop the cause you are going to die

Oh shit he IS dying

FRINGILLA THE BITCH SHE USED NIGHTSHADE ON THEM

Aaaaaaa she just slowly kicked him through his eyeball on my fucking god I almost puked

She killin em all

Bye bye Cahir you were gorgeous

Oof she toting w him

Oh is she not killing him??

Lucky bastard

——

The old crone is really fucking weird

Hedwig is back again

The gay king is here again

Redanian king

Gay king

Gay 🏳️‍🌈

All these different storylines are confusing me again

I just want Jaskier.

——

Here he issss

Once again Jaskier is walking while Geralt rides.

OMG JASK BROUGHT UP THE “do what pleases you” THING FROM S1

Omg the jabs that Jask is giving

Geralt apologised and Jaskier made a joke instead of getting mushy. Perfectness

——

Ciri and Yen are almost at Cintra. They just gotta pass the monolith

Yen you’re giving such mixed signals here

Deathless mother is in Yen’s head still

Oh damn ciri knows

She’s reading Yen’s mind

She knows

She told her that Geralt wasn’t there

Omg damn yen’s changed her heart

OH NO CIRI YOU FUCKING IMBECILE WHY WOULD YOU EVEN??

Ah so that’s why Yen had the stick.

Which means Geralt isn’t far behind

HERE HE ISSSSS

And Jaskier is left in the background again for fuck sake

JASKIER CAUGHT THE DECAPITATED HEAD

Oop geralts sword is to yen’s throat

Omg he trusts Jaskier with Ciri

Daddy Geralt thank you

To slay a monster

Does he mean Yen??

Omg ong omg omg

HE FULLY JUST CLAIMED CIRI AS HIS OWN

Omg what is she doing ok confused

DONT KILL THE DAMN BABY I SWEAR TO MOTHER FUCKING GOD

NO

FOR FUCKING FUCK SAKE

The deathless mother is so fuckin annoying

Oh shit she gone

Oh fuck

She’s free

——

Ciri don’t run from Jaskier goddamn it

WAIT NO DM FUCKING RUN

Fuck no she’s in Ciri

——

END OF EPISODE 7

——

Episode 8

Okay first of all what the fuck

Is she inside her mind because of the deathless mother?

What the fuck

It’s actually mousesack

But now she’s in kaer morhen?

Oh they’re so fucked

Everyone’s fucking fucked

Oop Geralt speak UP 🗣

We? There is no fucking we

What are you gonna do with no magic, Yen?

I’m so salty rn

Why is she what

DID CIRI JUST KILL COËN

SHES KILLING THE WITCHERS

I know it’s the deathless mother but

WHY NO STOP IT NOW

ITALIAN VESEMIR

Don’t fuckin believe her

Geralt knows straight up that ciri wouldn’t be acting like that

OH MY FUCKING GOD THE EYE SCAR IS IT GONNA SHOW UP?! Oh no course not

Oh wait Coën is alive

Thank god no offence to the other Witcher’s but

Oh no Italian Vesemir is gonna kill ciri

No offence, Italian Vesemir, but the black eyes aren’t as sexy on you

Ciri shan’t be eliminated

Go on Geralt, get grandad on board

Yen’s gonna try get the deathless mother for the power again for FUCK SAKE YENNEFER

HAVE YOU NOT DONE ENOUGH DAMAGE?!

Jaskier aaa

“Too many squirrels” ehehehe

Jaskier just wanted to sleep and drink and now he’s having to help fight a deamon ugh

I feel so bad for the poor man

——

I feel bad for the elves

But dara is making this worse

Oop dara just outted himself??

Oo okay uh I’m so fucking confused again. Break time?

No Jaskier is back on screen and he has a hangover

Sassy Jask

Oh yay, a little stone you’ve saved us all

I love how he can instantly become serious

I love him and his little smirks

How has no one found her yet even tho she’s in the main fucking hall

So ciri is between life and death right now I’m guessing. Everyone whos died is there I’m guessing??

I feel like Calanthe knows this is death

Calanthe definitely knows

Oop that twat asked for a dance aND SHE IS DANCING WITH HIM!?? She KILLED HIM

Calanthe definitely knows she’s dead

——

Oh yay Fringilla is back yay

I care not for her storyline at this point it’s too repetitive

Cahir is still hot af

FRINGILLA KILLED THE BABY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

cAHIR KILLED THE BABY?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!

CAHIR KILLED THE FUCKING BABY

——

Back to witchering

Hi Lambert

MEH LAMBERT UR HOT WITH BLACK EYES BUT GERALT WILL ALWAYS BE MY FAVE

Oh no LAMBCHOP is definitely gonna try to kill ciri for what happened

Geralt found her FINALLY

Cmon Jask get to Geralt

Wait Jaskier is here I stg I saw the screencap

HERE HE IS

Ahahah I love him so much

JASKIER YOUR FOREHEAD IS SHOWING HAVE SOME DECENCY

“What the fuck” is exactly right, Italian Vesemir

Oh fuck

NO

someone PROTECT THE BARD

THE BARD THE BARD IS HE OK THE B A R D

I CANT SEE JASKIER WHAT HAPPENED

LAMBCHOP BE CAREFUL

SomeONESHOW ME THE FUCKING BARD RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD

CIRI FICKIN HEAR IT UNDERSTAND WHAT CALANTHE SAID

JASKIER IS OKAY THANK FUCK

NO NOT ANOTHER DEAD WITCHER

AND ANOTHER

CIRI STOP THIS FUCKING MADNESS

AND ANOTHER ONE

ITALIAN VESEMIR DONT DO IT

CIRI FOR FUCKING FUCKETY FUCK SAKE

Don’t draw this shit out

CIRI WAKE THE FUCK UP

Oh my god

Her parents are there

CMON YOU GOTTA REALISE ITS FAKE CIRI

OH GOD WHAT IS THE ELF DOING TO THE BABIES OWH

SHE JUST KILLED DOZENS OF BABIES OH MY GOD

AND THATS FUELING THE DEATHLESS MOTHER

FCUK IFF IS THAT A FUCKING DRAGON

COME ON FOR FUCK SAKE

Yen hasn’t had mITALIAN VESEMIR JUST STABBED CIRI

COME ON PLEASE LET IT ALMOST BE OVER ITS GOT 20 MINS LEFT

Fucking finally Jaskier has been trying to get that through your thick skull for the entire damn episode

Ciri they’re dead. And you will be too if you don’t wake thE FUCK UP

They’re all calling to her and I’m gonna cry

CIRI THAT ISNT TOUR PARENTS FOR FUCK SAKE DONT DO IT

CIRI FOR FUCK SAKE

YENNEFER is gonna be the vessel

Oh my god oh my god oh my god

CIRI DONT DO IT PLEASE FOR GODS SAKE

I’m crying

Genuinely crying

God damn it

So ciri is gonna be ok and Yennefer is gonna die or some shit

Geralts monologue is making my cry harder

WHAT ABOUT YENNEFER

CIRI SAVE YENNEFER FOR FUCK SAKE SHE JUST SAVED YOU

“Oh not again” JASKIER HAS NO RIGHT BEING THIS FUNNY

Ciri really just pulled all threee of them into the monolith

Now what

We watch the world burn?

Ah yes we do

Great

ITS THE WILD HUNT

Omg

The fuck tho

Is that it

What about what the fuck is happening with the other guys

YENS MAGIC IS BACK FUCK YES

For fuck sake Jaskier was pushed out again I don’t understand how the screenwriters thought this was funny

——

Tissaia SHUT UP FOR FUCK SAKE UGH

Okay so next season is gonna be then getting through the wild hunt while hiding cause ciri has a bounty on her head

Damn Lydia ur fucked up

WHO IS HER LORD FFS

——

The elves are against everyone again

Istredd is gonna get killed

——

Oh great so EVERYONE is gonna be after Ciri now

——

Hi Hedwig

HOLY FUCK OK HEDWIG IS CALLED PHILLIPA AND SHE IS GORGEOUS O LORD

——

Wow ok Yenralt action. Where’s my Geraskier content tho

Good. Don’t forgive her

So Geralt is using Ciri as an excuse to stay with Yennefer okay then great parenting

But WHERE IS JASKIER

They’re all tired ffs life goes on. Us THREE will help eachother

Fuck Jaskier then

So Ciri portaled them to another world ‘spheres’

Wait is Ciri’s parents alive

Cause how else would Nilfgaard know

OH GOD IS THE WHITE FLAME CIRIS DAD?!?!?!?

IT IS OH MY FUCKING GOD HOLY FUCK IT’S DUNY WHAT THE FUCK THE FUCK THE FCUK THE FUCKKKKJ

THIS ALL FUCKING HAPPENED CAUSE OF YOU, YOU COMPLETE ARSEWIPE

——

Holy shit S3 trailer!?! NO??

The untold chapter

The Witcher: Blood Origin

——————————

HOLY FUCKING SHIT OH MY GOD WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT PLEASE TELL ME IM NOT THE FIRST TO FINISH THE SECOND SEASON I NEED TO TALK WITH PEOPLE ABOUT THIS!!!

SEASON 2 AAAAAAAA

[ghosty-schnibibit]

i liveblogged the live show because why the hell not, let’s do this!

thoughts before i even hit play: this is gonna be wild listening to because a) we've already had the finale, which i'm sure is going to make certain things a lot more funny/tragic in retrospect, b) i'm personally doing a series re-listen r/n and i only just got to the first part of petals to the metal this morning so it'll be fun trying to remember what items they have lol, and c) the description has got me really curious right off the bat so i'm feckin jazzed, lets do this thing

this is a brand new episode and yet i feel so nostalgic hearing the theme music again :’)

i take it this is the one they did during stolen century judging by the hard candies lol

justin you are the best

oh my god what the hell is going on

everyone screaming zone of truth is the best

aww, these boys are adorable

AWWW BABY

dorm... room? wait holy shit is this is og plane? is this the ipre???

what the absolute fuck is going on griffin

okay so this is a nightmare then

wait, is this before suffering game then? i am gonna have a hell of a time trying to figure out where the fuck this fits in the timeline of the show

griffin i love you holy fuck you dorky ass baby

oh my holy hell travis you dork

aww merle :'(

awwwww yeah merle B)

i don't know who they are either clint lol

please be angus please be angus please be angus

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH YOUR VOICE ANGO

old ango sounds so fucking weird oh my god

my bet right now is we're all in a dream w/ ango and this is how he imagines himself as a grown-up (in which case, that is super fucking cute)

maggie you dumbass ilu

TAAKO DON'T BE MEAN TO YOUR BOY

the twist is they've all gotten into robbie's potions and are hallucinating

who the fuck is brody

the minute griffin started describing the colors all i could picture in my mind was dippy fresh, i think my brain is just conditioned to think of gravity falls whenever i read anything in the same vain as ‘mindscape’ lol

i love that griffin has to clarify it isn't barry

I'M SCREAMING IT IS FUCKING DIPPY FRESH

okay, based on his reactions to brody alone... new headcanon: taako totally had a goth phase in whatever the elven equivalent of his teenage years were on his home plane, something lup teases him about mercilessly (she has pictures, and shares them with the whole ipre gang like they’re embarrassing baby photos)

MAGNUS I LOVE YOU

this is so fucking dorky and i love it

wait is this a real world au, omg

maggie you dork i love you, holy shit

i am one of those people justin :T

why do i feel like this prison metaphor... isn't a metaphor

glad magnus also picked up on the dream demon vibes coming off this creep

"three ruffians of varying sizes" oh please be who i think it is

MARVEY :D

i for one love the fan service thank you very much :P

MAGNUS CHILL, HOLY SHIT

"I DIDN'T GIVE MARVEY HP" I'M DYING

holy hell i need to draw some of this shit

taako ilu

magnus is wrecking shop holy shit

BRIAN BRIAN BRIAN

aww, not brian :(

hawthorne is such a villainy name

TAAKO YOU LITTLE FUCKING NARC

maggie you little dork baby ilu

i love justin's irrational hatred of nathaniel hawthorne

music appreciation class... if johann shows up i'm gonna cry

"arrive with spell cards, leave with immortality"

HIGH SCHOOL AU SWEET FLIPS :D

“are you on party drugs?” KILLIAN I LOVE YOU OH MY GOD

i need art of taako and magnus singing that together holy hell

this is so god damn in character and i love it

...merle please don't fuck the plants in botany

LUCRETIA :D

ms. ariel sounds vaguely like jenkins

TEEN MERLE SOUNDS SO CUTE I LOVE THIS

i just listened to the god damn vine-fucking episode on my way to campus this morning, this is surreal

what is going on

"don't fuck this plant" too late

justin freaking out is the best and i love it

MERLE ARE YOU REALLY DOING THIS IN FRONT OF LUCRETIA

“AND YOUR SAP” JESUS FUCK MERLE

I CAN HEAR JUSTIN YELLING FROM THE AUDIENCE

"i'm pretty sure it was a D for DONG" g r i f f i n

thank you in advance travis

i have zero idea what is going on

REN :D

taako being so excited to see ren makes the finale even fucking happier and i love this

i don't even know how to spell that to google it

n/m i found it and it looks delicious, i want one now

"TAKE A BITE RICK"

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

oh no, this is foreboding as all hell

wait who

griffin has some god damn good improv skills

"y'know it's like, good at basket ball" t a a k o 

TAAKO WHAT THE HELL

GLOBE TROTTER STYLE

YEEEAH GO MAGGIE!!! :D

HOLY SHIT MERLE

griffin you forgetful shit ilu

YEEEEEAH GO FLIP WIZARD!!!!!

this is so weird omg i wanna know what the fuck is up with the bell

maggie you lil baby 

woohoo, ango's back :)

oh no oh no oh no

WHAT IS THIS SHIT

WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK

this is gonna be sweet as hell and but i really wanna know wtf is going on: who cast the dreamscape? why??? what is this?????

ANGO NO

taako you fucker

i need to draw this so bad omg

"END ZONE OF THE COSMOS" 

fuckin railsplitter bats

"two fencing foils with the tips broken off" so you mean swords

badminton was the only sport i was ever good at in high school so i'm high-key lovin taako’s aesthetic r/n

SWEET FLIPS FUCK YEAH

just listened to the ad break for old time’s sake and i am so worried for the end of this episode now what the hell

"highchorch"

aww merle

HOLY FUCK MERLE

AWW FUCK YEAH, GO MAGGIE!!!

i love this, i love this so much

magnus you dummy ilu

STOP THROWING YOUR WEAPONS YOU DUMBASSES

"WAIT A MINUTE... I WON?" merle ilu so much

WAIT WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT IS THIS

DON'T YOU DARE LET THIS THING HURT ANGO

ZONE OF TRUTH

magnus is going to fucking kill dippy fresh holy hell

"YOU'VE SOLVED MY HIGH SCHOOL PUZZLE"

this was griffin's trial run for john's final form wasn't it

"THEY'RE ONLY CHILDREN"

how the fucking hell are they going to finish this in five minutes

THIS IS SO GOD DAMN COOL OMG

YEEEEEEEEEEAH MOTHERFUCKING WONDERLAND ROUND 3

GO ANGO!!! YEEEEES!!!!!

what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

oh god it's not dippy fresh it's sansy fresh

AND THAT'S THE END

final thoughts: fucking hell someone needs to write a fic explaining how the shit they got into the underdark if they haven’t already, if i don’t find any i might just write it out myself lol

[overlycaffeinatedwarmage]

RtS 21-24

These chapters should come with a trigger warning. They do feature some harsh scenes and some sexual assault, though it is from afar. I don’t dwell on those parts during my analysis.  Some are mentioned in passing, but the focus is on Cassie’s doings.  Each chapter is labeled with the type of trigger that it contains.  I would add page numbers, but ebook page numbering is different from the print book so they wouldn’t match for everyone.

This is another long one!

 Ch 21 *trigger warning, assault, slaver camp chapter*

We pick up directly after her battle with Gertie on the cart.  And poor Cassie winds up right back where she started with the slavers. Last chapter, the power told her that the cart driver was supposed to die, but Cassie choose a different route and he ended up not dying.  She considers the implications of that now.  The power again didn’t flare or stop her from changing time.  We know because there is a big ass battle coming up shortly that pretty well decimates the area and likely kills a whole bunch of people.  Anything Cassie messes up now, can be taken care of later during that battle.  She doesn’t know that yet for sure, but she’s starting to wonder now.

 Now Cassie and Rosier make it to the actual slaver camp. Cassie sees what’s happening to all of the women and it’s finally too much for her.  She starts to break away to help.  Rosier calls her back and reminds her that all of this has happened 1500 years ago from her point of view.  It’s all over and done with and all of the women and their children are dead now. He’s right and she knows that but she hates standing back and doing nothing.  I wonder if she’s thinking of how this almost parallels her own life. People have been taking her, without her consent, her entire life.  First Cassie was taken from her parents by Tony.  Then Mircea took her from Tony, in a way.  Next, after she finally thought she broke away from that life, she was taken from her chosen life by the Senate.  Now Mircea’s trying to take her again.  Jonas has been trying to steal her away too.  Everyone wants a piece of Cassie and no one asks her opinion on the matter.  I am so glad to see Cassie start to take back her power from all of these people and refuse to be taken anymore.  

 We meet the 6th century Witches. They remind me a lot of their 21st century counter parts.  With some hair dye and some modern clothes, I bet you couldn’t even tell the difference.  I love the “Come at me bro” attitude.  

 Cassie about the power’s lack of response even though she was actively participating in and screwing up the time line, “If I had to use a word to describe the overall response, it would have been “meh.” We’re going to have to work on our communication, I told it grimly.”

 Ch22 Trigger warning, still in the slaver camp

Cassie chats with the coven witches.  Their “man inside” is Pritkin, of course.  We find out that the Green Fey are the ones behind the slave trade.  We knew that, more or less, through some context clues, but actual confirmation is nice. Ah, it’s the Green Fey who are at war with the Dark.  Baby!Pritkin has a seemingly good relationship with the Dark Fey.  But it also seems he has a decent relationship with the Green (except Nimue) I wonder how that works with them being at odds with one another. It’s hard to tell his relationship with the Blue but it doesn’t seem awful.  His relationship with the Svarestri is trash, but they hate half breeds so that makes sense.  Interesting. This is something I need to consider further.  

 Anyway, the witches explain Nimue’s plan to steal more women to bring her numbers back up after her war with the Dark fey.  (Side note does Nimue make it out of all of this alive?) As the Witches talk about their plan Cassie realizes that their boy is Pritkin, lol, she's getting pissed.  And then he finds them.

 I love the visual of him running into the tent, thrashing around like crazy, confused as shit, running out head whipping back and forth before he sees them. The Pritkin of today is so calm under pressure, having centuries of practice. This one is new and raw still. All his elements are there, we see it, they just aren't finished yet. I love that KC lets us see character development in this unique way. No other story line can give it quite like this.

 Cassie slaps him, he acts hurt, she yells at him. "It's mostly my feelings-" I mean really, lol. In his mind it was perfectly logical to stash her with the slavers and tell her nothing. He's annoyed that she doesn't share the idea that it was a brilliant plan.  I mean, on some level it makes sense I guess.  But he simply cannot see it from her point of view either.  

 Then we have the Witches reactions.

W: “Friends?”

P: “Friends” C: “it's complicated.” And then they reverse it

W: “I've had friends like that”. They get the right idea all right.

 Ch23, the fey assault Cassie scene

The bracelet is serving as magical weapons mule again.  I love that the bracelet is seeing serious use this book after being sidelined for 2 books. It’s put to a good use too, not just used for killing.  Since it always comes back to Cassie, both she and Pritkin use it with that property in mind.  I also like the throwback to CbS, with Pritkin using it as a magical charm bracelet again (or for the first time, damn time travel).

 According to HtM the Green Fey have thrown in with the gods.  It seems the Svarestri have too. Jury’s still out on Blarestri.  I can’t see the Dark turning to them, especially after the Fey Blessing Radella gave Cassie.  More things to think about.

 Pritkin and Cassie start to get personal here because Cassie is stalling for time. It’s interesting.  Pritkin trusts her, even though no one else does. He doesn't know why he trusts her but he does implicitly and right away. Pritkin knows her even before he knows her. He just trusts her. Big difference from Mircea from EtN when Cassie shifts to the past, he didn't trust it was her at all. It took FOREVER for her to convince him.  Even when Cassie accidentally shifted to Pritkin early in TtS he trusted her from the start.  It was only after he checked the spell he placed on her that said she was upstairs that he just got suspicious. It took little convincing after the slamming that TtS Cassie was who she claimed to be. These two are damn soul mates. Their souls just know. (Side note soon after Cassie says she hates his fake eyes she talks out loud again accidentally).

 Pritkin brings Cassie into the hall as his prisoner. The fey make her strip. Pritkin doesn't want to allow it but Cassie relents quickly, knowing it’s the least risky course of action. Then the fey turn even more asshold-ish Ugh, I hate the fey. Welcome to one of my triggers.  Fuck you neighborhood boys who thought I was their play thing. Yuck yuck yuck. At least Pritkin comes to her rescue

 Ch 24, Cassie Pritkin sex scene

Then we have a Casskin sex-scene, depending on your definition of sex.  Even though the sex will get them out of trouble and Cassie is more or less willing, Pritkin is Not On Board. Not even a little. This is the first time the tables are turned. Usually Pritkin does oral for Cassie. Now it's switched. While this scene is coerced it doesn't bother me too much. They had other options and this is the path Cassie choose. She could have done a lot of other things. Plus, she admits she would have minded doing this under other circumstances. She loves and wants him (as she says later). The feedback loop kicks in and it saves their asses. She finally gets to see his O-face.

 Pritkin uses the power and distraction to throw a fireball. And then we have chaos.  It’s practically their signature style at this point.  “Chaos by Casskin” available at all major department stores and Augustines. Awwwwww Pritkin learned the word “Shit” from Cassie.  And he uses it in the proper context too!  I’m almost as proud as when my 5-year-old learned the word “Fuck” from me and used it in the proper context.  (He told me to “get those fuckers” while I was playing Zelda.)

 The tapestry scene, omg. I should not read this at work....This the first time they have gotten close where they weren’t immediately pulled away. That's why we have this big after effect this time! Every other time they have been interrupted and taken away from each other. Interesting!

They agree doing this is a bad idea and do it anyway, lol.  Yeah, been there, done that guys.  He needs her name here so bad, he won't do it without her name, just in case. Sweet in its way.  We find out why later.  

 TMI time, read at your own peril: I both loved and was frustrated by this scene. Loved it because it's hot as hell. Getting it on in the face of danger is hot!! In public, where you could get caught (and they do). Frustrated because I wanted penis in vagina goddammit! I mean I get that later, but still. Their angle of the action and the kissing sounds a bit awkward though. They are so close to the same height that it wouldn't work so well. I mean, ow!  Not that I know from personal experience or anything. Shut up! I hear you snickering in the back.

 Yeah, um yeah….

[mirrorsofparanoia]

I got the two remaining Destiny DLCs last week...(mini review, so spoilers I guess?)

...because I’m and idiot who is easily influenced by shiny new trailers (like for example the new Destiny 2 trailer) and, not gonna lie, it’s actually amazing how much better “Taken King” and “Rise of Iron” are compared to the first two DLCs. Like, holy shit, they are better O_o

As much as I hated the DLC policy of the first Destiny game, I have to admit that at least in regards of storytelling Bungie learned A LOT... or at least applied what they already knew (fuckin finally).  

I got “The Dark Below” and “House of Wolves” with the Collector’s Edition and while the poorly executed story of the main game didn’t really bother me, because Vault of Glass was just too fuckin amazing, awesome and fun, and awesome, I could never get warm with the Crota Raid and the key farming for the Prison of Elders annoyed the shit out of me. Like... why can’t we have things just be straight foward? Go into a raid, do the mechanics, shoot everything that wasn’t fast enough to get the fuck out, collect the loot, the end. That’s all I’m asking for. 

...Anyway, it’s not a secret that “Taken King” greatly profits from Bungie giving Cayde-6 some actual character. I mean, just LISTEN to this guy! Not only is Nathan Fillion an amazing voice actor... or... you know, just generally amazing, no, with Cayde’s character they managed to nail down the very essence of what it means to be a hunter. 

He’s a no discipline, smart-assy, gambling and lying son of a bitch with a bunch of dirty tricks in the stash and a heart of gold. 

So... at this point I need to out myself: The only reason why I bought Destiny was because of the hunter capes. I saw one of the trailers and all I cared about was this awesome and cool looking and fuckin badass cape that was exclusive to the hunter class. It was like an alarm went off in my head all incl. flashing lights that yelled “FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS AWESOME, GET THIS FUCKIN CAPE! YOU NEED IT IN YOUR LIFE!”. At that point I wasn’t even a shooter player, the only one I touched before was Borderlands, which has heavy RPG elements to it, but still, I went there and bought Destiny, because I was determined to have the most fuckin amazing cape in the history of mankind (spoilers: I got it). 

So yeah, this small excursion is here to illustrate just how much I love the hunter class (not only because of the capes lol). So for me personally Bungie giving Cayde, the Hunter Vanguard, this kind of character was one of the best things they could do. Now I can actually identify with this fucker, now he is someone I would want to follow. 

But anyway, aside form Cayde being my one and only true bro now, I was actually positively surprised about the variety of missions in “Taken King”. I mean, I sure as hell didn’t expect a stealth mission and the escape section was actually pretty intense, if you consider that point I was massively underleveled.

The summoning at the Court of Oryx on the Dreadnaught is another really cool acitivy. It’s something that doesn’t take much time that you can do either alone or with a group of friends and you can come and leave whenever you like. It’s also nice that you don’t get locked out when someone is fighting in the Court and I like to jump in and help people out, if I’m around.

Granted, these are some pretty damn low standards to expect (or.. not to expect), but I’m gonna throw Bungie a pulse rifle here and look at this as an improvement that will last and carry over into Destiny 2. 

And besides, they kinda did give me an ego boost by saying that Oryx came specifically to beat the shit out of me, because I gave his son some amazing ass-whooping for being a little shite and destroying civilizations. 

Right, so after getting hyped by “Taken King”, my expectations for “Rise of Iron” were pretty high. Obviously the story centered around the Iron Lords was more serious and less “Cayde-6″ and while it was nice to learn more about Saladin’s past, it was something else that got me hooked. 

I fuckin LOVE SIVA.

I love its design, it’s concept, the way it was implemented into the game. It’s awesome. Granted, the idea isn’t new. “Nano technology going nuts” has been around since the existence of Cyberpunk, but SIVA just feels so well done that I don’t really care. I like the fact that Bungie didn’t give it any AI, that it’s literally just a parasitic pile of red what-the-actual-fuck that’s whole purpose is to grow.   

I can’t even tell how much I enjoyed the final battle. The build-up was pretty damn awesome: When I walked into the Reproduction Chamber, my magical gamer senses were going nuts and I had all sorts of alarms on my “I call bullshit” - radar, because it was completely empty. And then I looked up. Here’s the thing: I live in an apartment on the 8th floor and I think my “OH MY GAWD CAN WE PLEASE FUCKIN NOT!?” was audible all the way down in the first floor. The bodies of the Iron Lords hanging off the ceiling tangled into SIVA were creepy as hell and they gave me some serious flashbacks to throne room scene at the end of FFXV, which traumatized me for the rest of my life. 

I mean, just LOOK at this shit! 

It was rather obvious that as soon as I touched the self-destruction panel, they would drop down and try to beat the living crap out of me and to be honest I was actually rather disappointed that there were only 3 of them, instead of like... 6 or something. But it didn’t matter, because Bungie once again did one of the best things they could do for me in this DLC. 

THEY GAVE ME A FUCKIN AXE!

Like OMG! They gave me an AXE! And I could set it on FUCKIN FIRE (every weapon gets more badass, if you can set it on fire)! I felt like a kid who just got her favourite toy and proceeded to beat the shit out of the Iron Lords. And it was tons of fun. Despite the fact that you literally have a close range rocket launcher that wipes out everything in your way, the fight is actually challenging. I had to redo it twice, because the shit in there hits you like a truck. 

The only thing that annoyed me was the fact that I couldn’t actually KEEP the axe, but I guess you can’t have everything. So overall “Rise of Iron” was able to stand it’s ground, despite not being as fun story-wise as “Taken King”. Also: Shiro is my second one and only real bro after Cayde.

I think I have a thing for sassy Exo-hunters with sexy voices.

I’m getting side-tracked, anyway, I’m not gonna talk about the gameplay stuff and Raids in “Rise of Iron”, because I have yet to experience it. Being a returner my light level is trailing around 300 and if I don’t pay attention in the Plaguelands, I get my ass handed to me really quickly. So yeah... the gameplay part will have to wait, but knowing that Bungie brought back the Vault of Glass, I’m probably gonna spend every free minute of my life in there. 

[neonicsarchived-blog]

scandclovs replied to your post “khcleesis replied to your post “i started watching prison break and...”

bruh lincon and michael are just * heart eyes mother fucker * shit now i wanna add michael as a muse damn !

OMG i’m gonna throw all my muses at you if you do that i’m warning you!! i was thinking about it too though, but i wanna finish watching the show first before i dive into the tags cuz i really don’t want spoilers