#throw these fuckers in prison omg

[oscar-isaac]

the nickelodeon documentary has me so fucked up right now 💀

[slicksquid]

more in my sudden dragon’s dogma addiction: just did the “arousing suspicion” quest and WHAT THE FUCK

[thatpunkmaximoff]

Story: 4 out of 5 Smut: 4 out of 5

Who told me to read this book? Lol. I thought I was just in for an ex con railing a widow. I was not expecting a paranormal romance. There was so much heartbreak, and when the ghost came to the realization that they were the ghost.. oh my god.

I… I don’t have much to say. It was a damn good book, but I just… I don’t know.

Enjoy my ramblings, but head's up.. they're super spoiler-y..

* Mysterious mail showing up..? No thanks.

* “I’ll wait forever if I have to.” — umm, wtf?! Who in prison is being creepy af?

* Why would you reply?! 😂

* Okay so her house is spooky af 👀

* “I can still taste your skin.” — who the fuck is this Dante guy?!

* Purple splotches encircling her neck? One looks like a thumb? Is she being haunted?!

* Why do I get a feeling Aiden isn’t.. Aiden?

* Oh damn. Aiden is bold lol. He wants to bone Kayla and flat out told her.

* The words coming out of Aiden’s mouth rn.. holy shit 😏

* So she runs to Aiden when she thinks someone broke into her house. She totally wants to bone.

* Goddamn. Aiden can fuck 👀

* Now there’s a creepy man down by the tree watching Kayla? I thought I was in for straight up smut.. not some thriller/horror shenanigans.

* So the house is haunted. Cool. 👀

* She wasn’t smiling in her wedding photo to Michael and it appears as if her arm was bruised in the pic? Was Michael abusive and the wreck she mentioned earlier (the reasoning the gave for the bruises on her neck before) do something to her memory?

* GHOSTS?! Wtf is going on 😂

* Aiden and Kayla are some kinky fuckers 😏

* “If you decide this isn’t what you want, promise me you’ll end it before I fall in love with you.” // “I promise.” // “Good. But so you know, you don’t have much time.” — Jesus.. this man..

* is Aiden Dante?! I’m so fucking confused lmao. These ghosts are throwing me off.

* Oh damn. Aiden told her to get clarity and until she found it, he was gonna give her space 😬

* Well that tarot was ominous as fuck. Wtf happened in her past?! What is she blocking out?

* So little ghost boy sees Kayla and freaks? I’m gonna fucking riot if it turns out Kayla is dead and just doesn’t know it. Like her housekeeper said, some ghosts are confused. Especially if they died a tragic death. Like her husband. But what if it wasn’t her husband who died or was the only one who died..? 🥺

* SO DANTE’S THE GHOST?!

* I love Claire. Very chismosa lol

* Omg. This ghost wants revenge. What if it’s Aiden it wants revenge on? What is Dante is Aiden’s dad that he apparently killed?! Wtf is going on?!?!?!

* What… her detective friend is dead? Does that mean he’s the ghost..?

* No… no, no, no. Kayla’s not the ghost. She can’t be. No.

* Holy. Shit. What the fucking fuck.

* “Hey, bunny, did you miss me?” — 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

* Well at least they got to torture Michael in prison 🤷🏻‍♀️

[lesdemonium]

hello hope you are having a lovely day! i just reread your modern au for the 100000th time bc its amazing and was wondering if you had any jaskier & ciri headcanons that you could share??

omg thank you SO MUCH anon! i’m so flattered you like that one, it has such a special spot in my heart haha i would love to give some headcanons bc they live rent free in my head (it’d be nice if those missed rent payments could be in the form of helping me write a second part but i am merely the flesh prison to my writing whims)

shameless plug of Ways That Can’t Be Said

jaskier teases geralt and yennefer for being wrapped around ciri’s finger but the truth is that it is jaskier who is the most In Trouble with her

by the time she’s three he cannot say no to her. she doesn’t even have to beg or throw a tantrum or anything (if she did throw a tantrum, she would get nowhere except straight home) but if she looks wistfully at anything he falls over himself with excuses for why she needs the giant stuffed giraffe

geralt started making him use cash only for outings, to curb the impulse spending

he takes ciri to museums all the time, especially if they have anything to do with art or music, and even when she was a tiny baby he’d go and just talk about the art to her

he could stand to censor himself around her more. he could claim that he wasn’t the one to teach her “fuck” (geralt), but “flying shit-fucker” was absolutely jaskier

jaskier is where ciri got her sense of Dramatiques TM and all of her teachers try to get her into theater as a result

whenever ciri needs help with homework, she goes to jaskier because he walks her through it (unlike geralt) without just giving her the answer (like yennefer)

she does not do this for math, because while jaskier technically can do math, it takes him far too much arguing with himself and she winds up confused by the time he figures out wtf is going on

she goes to geralt for math questions now

jaskier taught ciri how to play piano and a few songs on guitar and tried to teach her lute but they both got just way too anxious over her potentially breaking the lute--they’ll try again when she’s older

geralt and yennefer secretly thank every god out there that jaskier was around for ciri’s first few years bc he is absolutely the reason her language skills are so strong because he just never stopped talking to her

jaskier and ciri get into so much trouble together. so much. he’d never risk her safety but they absolutely have destroyed a couple pieces of furniture bc “well, why can’t we jump on these like trampolines?” because beds break, jaskier, that’s why

april fools day is a scary day to be in the rivia-pankratz household. the pranks have only gotten more mature as ciri grew older. yennefer always makes sure geralt has custody on april first, and geralt tries his best to be out of the house

the exploding toilet was a particularly bad year

[stonerbughead]

Maria watches friday night lights (#22)

ok I watched this a few days ago and haven’t had time to watch the finale yet but MAN 4x12 is an amazing penultimate episode. Here we goooo:

Omfg the panthers are literally being such snobby fucks about the East Dillon field. these fuckers are so classist and racist~~~ it’s too real

Feels like Julie is being very impulsive about trying to leave for habitat for humanity shit “It’s only $3,000.” “Only? Honey you’re hilarious.”

Ah yep and mindy’s in labor!! “Who the hell are you talking to?” “It’s tim, do you want to talk to him?” “NO!” 😂😭 I’m dead

I see what they did there, transitioning from Tim’s excitement about new life on the white side of town to Vince and the community mourning Calvin at his funeral on the Black side of town.

“Jess, if I go to the cops I go to jail.” UH YEAH he’s on parole, Jess, he literally can’t “do the right thing” bc he’ll get punished for it bc PRISON INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX!!!

ooooh Jess is *worried* about Vince; me too gurl. the concern is hot ngl

LOL Landry is so white.....he didn’t buy Jess a lock for her bike??

Testy Eric getting the field ready is SO funny omfg

HAHAHA they threw billy out bc he’s “too enthusiastic, whatever that’s supposed to mean.” omg he’s had five energy drinks Jesus this is hilarious

Ok Landry going out of your way to tell Vince he’s sorry about Calvin, that’s growth!

“Whose idea was this anyway?” The whole team down on their knees on a football field at night with the toothpicks: “Landry’s.”

Wow living in Texas sux, Tami has to compromise her values and apologize for giving a scared, pregnant teenage girl all her options if she wants to keep her job as a public school principal?!?! Damn this show is too real lol

“It’s trying to claw his way out.” “Claw?”

“Her way out or whoever is in there...its way out.” Okay, gender neutral, I see you billy riggins! (I got less proud when he just ran into the birthing room wearing the PPE hat and yelling, “I’m the dad!!!”)

Really, they vandalized Eric’s car?! Too much.

“I don’t feel safe taking my family over there.” OK RACIST

Yessss they tooth picked the field so they had to spend their time doing stupid shit on the field too?! That’s pretty clever honestly, evening the score.

“I understand it took West Dillon two hours to take those toothpicks out of the field.” LOL

Gotta love that a lawyer says Tami has a great case for wrongful termination but that the court system will drag it out so much it won’t be good for her career long term lolll sounds about right. Great society we have here.

Aww “Uncle Tim”!!! So cute!

Uh oh it’s another Riggins boy in this mess lol! Awww Steven. My heart! This show does such a good job of letting you linger in the heartwarming moments for a minute.

Anddd of course the anti choicers are protesting her. Oh Tami, my queen, you don’t deserve this.

“I don’t cook flesh, dad.” Lol I love how Eric gives a half hearted “oh alright” to Julie making dinner bc she didn’t cook meat 🤣

“Lions suck.” “Haha you know what? Go to hell.” I shrieked with laughter. Let Eric and Tami eat dinner with their daughters jfc!!!

Jess holding an iPod and saying she made Landry a playlist. Oh, early 2000s love

Vince is being nice to Landry about being with Jess, wow now that’s growth too! This love triangle could be a lot worse.

Jesus fuck are they ruining the East Dillon field now?! Should’ve known they wouldn’t take those toothpicks lying down.

Tim is so cute with his nephew!!

Jesus fuck the tension on this Wade/Tami/Eric conference call after the East Dillon field destruction. This season is so well crafted to bring everything in the town to a boiling point just in time for the rivalry game!!!

There’s like a fucking creek on Tim’s property too? This is some romantic, scenic shit!

Life is about owning land and family? Hmmm. Okay Tim.

Omfg Becky I can’t. “Tim I love you” how many times have we gone over that y’all do not work romantically I’m 🤦🏻‍♀️

“Vince, you think I’m stupid? You think I don’t know what you up to right now?” Ahhhh not Jess showing up at Vince’s door when he’s going to avenge Calvin! I love that she figured it out just from what he said to Landry alone...the tension, the chemistry, the emotion!

Jess slides down the door!! Classic move of distress~

Ah Tim was W A Y too happy, it figures that their car scheme would be discovered now. And of course Tim is gonna take the fall so Billy can be with his family oh Tim 🥺

Damn!!! Vince got out of the car as the light turned from red to green trying to flee ?!!! 😭 “My mom’s not supposed to bury me, I’m supposed to bury my mama!” Ugh such a good line. Poor Vince.

Stfu, Joe— “we called every player on our team they’re all accounted for.” of course they are, Joe McCoy, mmhmm

Ah yes, grown men arguing about toothpicks while a crowd watches outside.

“The thing we gotta remember here is that in the end this is just a football game.” And Eric’s like, “nah actually, I’m getting harassed, thanks!”

Ah Jess was waiting for Vince when he came home 🥺 (Ooooop did Jess end up standing Landry up accidentally. Well fook.)

Oh, Tim. fuckkkkk this capitalist shit show— like, Tim is taking the fall so they could make sure Mindy could deliver a healthy baby without absurd medical debt and tbh I assume they still have debt !!!! We love a functioning society right?

Ahhh Eric throwing the phone that won’t stop ringing is the inevitable catharsis mmhmm

Damn the amount of stress that Tami and Eric combined are under is...oooof! They deserve better!

Omg wait and the actual game happens next episode?!!! I love this show, it’s so well written gahhhh

(See you next time)

[oh-theatre]

Sycamore High: A Mission (Chapter 13)

A/N: I was very tempted to tag J but not all the characters are suffering yet so... maybe one-day 

summary: Paul decides Jail doesn't sound so bad

words: 1,614

warnings: Crying, negative thoughts, cursing, abuse mention, blood (not too graphic but its there)

Ao3 Link

Paul was done, no you know what? He was further than done, he was over it. He was exhausted, he had way too much shit going on and this? This put the entire world on thin fucking ice.

“Hear that universe? You’re on thin fucking ice” He declares angrily as he stormed the halls the next morning. “Where are you fucker” Paul mumbled scanning the tired halls full of zombie students. He finally spotted him, the little sleaze. No, not even sleaze, that was reserved for Ted. He made his way towards the locker but abruptly stopped being interjected.

“Omg, it’s stage 5 Paul” Ted teases stepping into Paul’s murder path. He glared at his friend, nothing but his mission occupied his mind.

“Not now Ted” he warned pushing his friend into the locker, horror-struck him as he heard his friend groan in pain. “Shit, shit I’m so sorry Ted, I wasn’t thinking” he ranted, Ted, with the help of Bill regained his former posture. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you”

“Eh, I’m used to it” Ted stayed simply shrugging his shoulders. Another wave of guilt hit Paul, well that doesn’t make me feel better. “So What brings stage 5 Paul to school today?” Ted asked, rubbing his side carefully. Paul bit back his lip.

“He-“ Paul shot a glare towards his target “Did it again, he hurt her again and I’m just-“ he sucked in a sharp breath “I am very much done, so I have decided to spend the rest of my life in jail” Paul seethed

“Oh so you get to murder him, but I don’t get to murder Billy” Bill complained, the other two looked at him with hints of shock and respect. They were taken aback by the sudden sass and serious tone their usually calm and nice friend displayed. Ted wished he had taken this change more seriously, but alas.

~~~

“I just want my friend back!” A pained voice shouted through the rain

“Well, he’s gone!” Was the simple angry response that left the two shatter

~~~

“Just saying, I’m Sherlock so switch my motives and I’d be an amazing Moriarty” Bill explained calmly. Ted burst into a fit of laughter, nudging Bill softly who’s face softened at his friends laugh. He shied away finally retreating back to his locker and Paul turned back to his unlucky victim. He suddenly had a thought and turned back to Ted.

“Wait why are you here? You should be… not here” Paul cringed at his own phrasing but they go the point.

“Wow…” Ted said “Paul Matthews everybody” he mimicked a fake round of applause, Bill snickered. “It’s chill, I’m just grabbing my stuff and then leaving” Paul was still not satisfied, leaving to where? Obviously, Ted caught on to his friend's concerns and continued “Bills dad is taking me home, he dropped us off and is just waiting for me now” Paul nodded slowly, Ted, deciding his friend was satisfied with the answer turned back to his locker grabbing the rest of his things. “I should get going, Professor Hidgens and...Professor Hidgens-“ He paused clearly holding back something “Are coming over later to discuss some stuff, so… please don’t commit murder and if you do don’t get caught. And say hi to the girls for me!” He declared finalizing his rant, he turned to Bill who immediately jumped into a quick but cautious embrace. Ted accepted happily before waving a quick goodbye to Paul and disappearing into the crowd of practically dead students. 

“I’m worried about him” Bill said softly after a moment, the murdering mantra had now ceased as Paul faced his friend. He sighed heavily and exhausted giving his friend a reassuring look.

“Me too but… he has an army of people who just want the best… he will be ok” Who Paul was trying to convince, he wasn’t sure. Bill nodded with the same uncertainty before deciding he had finished at his locker and walking to his first-class but not before telling Paul goodbye. 

“Alright, now it’s just you and me” He stayed glaring at the arrogant figure who was still leaning against his locker, wearing his stupid red cap and stupid smoke club shirt. “Oh it’s on, Stage 5 Paul is fucking pissed” 

~~~

“...and then we can work on finding you a new home” that’s it, Ted had heard enough. He had sat for the past hour listening to 2 adults who, bless their hearts were trying, but who clearly knew absolutely nothing.

“New home?” He seethed, his tone became dark “No, no, there is no ‘new home’ ok?” he glared at the pair, really hoping it had the effect intended. “You don’t get it, this will blow over, I will go home, keep my fucking mouth shut and live my life.” Now he was going, he did feel bad the Professors clearly just wanted to help but Ted was done with everyone trying. If they couldn’t do something right now, then he didn’t care for their bullshit ‘tries’. Ted grunted loudly, he wanted to throw something but he didn’t dare. Not only had Bills father been an amazing person and truly cared for Ted, but he was also scared. Would that all turn if he made a mistake now? “There is no new home” he said calmly, but everyone could feel the darkness that poured out. “I will go home, and I will listen to my parent's fight as always. I will fear my mornings, as always. And I will get hit and shoved for being-“ he froze in horror, he had done it. He actually said it, oh god…

No

No

I want my mom

No

He clasped a hand over his mouth, creating a prison for his words. The professors who had been shocked into silence up until now stood. Approaching Ted carefully, please don’t hurt me, I’m sorry. He cowered preparing himself for a blow, instead felt himself wrapped into a steady embrace. Ted could feel a heartbeat, it was even, unlike Ted who shook violently against the mans hold. He opened his eyes to find two beautiful blue ones staring at him, Professor Hidgens kneeled next to him,  he gestured towards his chest. Ted glanced for a moment feeling a confused flustered feeling rise upon his face.

“Mimic my breathing Ted” The Professor said, finally something I knew how to do. 

“5 things you can see Ted” 

“Bill? 5 things you can see, right now” Ted repeated

So with a shaky breath, he began. “I can see you, and.. and the couch… I can see Professor Hidgens” he shook his head pulling away from Chad's embrace, who simply smiled pridefully at him. “I can see my backpack… and… my hands” the two men nodded patiently. 

“Good, now 4 things you can…” his voice drifted off. Ted sighed feeling himself steady as he recalled the faces of his dear friends. 

“I can see you, Ted” He said, reassuring himself that was the name of his friend. Ted nodded smiling. They continued, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. 

And so Ted did what he had told Bill to do weeks ago. Finally calming down, Bill's father suggested he go upstairs and get some rest while the men discussed the matters at hand. Ted wasn’t one to oppose free sleep, So he obliged.

I’m here, I’m right here Bill

~~~

“Can we adopt him?” Chad asked innocently 

“Simple answer, definitely” Henry responder almost immediately “Actual answer, love you know that’s not how this works” he said disappointed, stirring the tea that Corey, Bills father, had provided the couple. 

“But… isn’t it? The boy is being… “ he paused, Henry gave him a look. No need to say it, we both know now. “I mean he can’t possibly go home” Chad whined, he was frustrated. Henry understood, and he recognized this behavior. Chad had an inexplicable but beautiful need to protect people, Henry loved- nay, adored that about him. But he hated seeing Chad look so… defeated. 

“So he stays here, for now, we figure out what measures need to be taken to remove him from the house-“ Henry paused, how could he have been so stupid. “Ted's mother…” Henry whispered almost impressed by his revelation. “How could we forget Ted's mother!” He exclaimed Chad tilted his head confusion riddling his soft, sick face. “Think about it..”

And so they did, and finally, after long hours into the day, the pair finally came to a conclusion.

Adopt-

Not yet! Patience little one, patience

~~~

“Are you absolutely insane!?” Alice exclaimed rushing over to her brother. He gave her a stupid grin feeling himself slip away. He stood in the doorway to their home, blood dripping down his nose and a very dark eye. He didn't care however, he stood in their doorway pridefully having also a trace of someone else's blood gracing his knuckles. Alice assessed the situation, rushing to the kitchen grabbing an ice pack and the first aid kit. She leads her brother over to the couch and began tending to his probably broken nose. “You are so lucky mom isn't home-”

“Paul!” The pair turns to a sudden bang on the door, they share the same look of alertness. “Paul I know you're in there, open up!” The previously absent feeling of panic now set into Paul as he recognized the angry yet concerned voice from the other side of the door. 

“Emma” He whispers, very scared for what might happen as he stands up and opens the door to the one tiny angry girl on the other side.

[merlinthoughts]

Season 1 Episode 4 - The Poisoned Chalice

- god fucking dammit here we go again, i'm bloody done with my life and do not, at all, want to see merlin die bc i don't remember anything except that, yeah, he dies and someone has to get off their ass and save the motherfucking day and kiss him

- i realise how much i swear in these posts bc 1. when do i not? 2. i'm emotionally invested 3. i have no other excuse i just like swearing

- AAAND NIMUEHS IN CAMELOT SHE THINKS SHE'S SO SLY WITH HER HEAD THING

- id recognise her in a split second tbfh, she aint subtle

- *heterosexual tension*

- merlins skin be looking so smooth this episode, this boy be wearing lots of Dove

- he looked so excited to be in the banquet, then arthur just fucking slashes him with “not quite” and his hopes and dreams are destroyed

- “wanna see what you’ll be wearing tonight?” arthur says as he's behind the fucking changing curtains, about to get undressed and show merlin his birthday suit

- i honest to god thought that was where he was going, but no, he was just getting something from behind it

- “tonight you’ll be wearing the official ceremonial robes of the servants of camelot” IT'S A FUCKING DRESS ISN'T IT

- aw damn id have preferred a dress

- that smile shared between them was the most adorable scene

- god

- i

- fucking

- love

- their

- smiles 

- sm

- best thing ive ever seen

- i mean… hunty look at that piece of glistening butter beauty

- wow ok back to the episode:

- bros being bros and giving each other a handshake to destroy the mortal enemy pack and put together a family, we stan.

- as if a servant who has only had eye sex with another servant ONCE would trust them enough to say that one of the chalices were poisoned. like??? “ur the only one i could tell” LMAO NO?

- she's a sly fucking dog tfbh

- “if he kills arthur, uthers soul will be broken and camelot will fall” at this rate uther prob wouldn't care if his son dies or not, look at him, he's already mentally broken. he has anxiety and paranoia over magic. child services where u at in the medieval ages?

- i wouldn't believe a word she said, or well, id have believed it was poisoned but id say yeah no damn way you aren't in on it if you know which one it is. bayard wouldn't tell a fucking servant.

- HE'S GONNA SNAP ISN'T HE

- MERLIN FUCKING SNAPPED

- yknow what we say here folks? U DO U MERLIN

- okay i was fine if uther made bayard drink it but like the moment uther said “mmmh… no.” and slowly turned to merlin i think my arteries just crunched together and died so

- “if it is poisoned, he’ll die” HE'S FUCKING SCARED MERLIN WILL PASS AWAY ISN'T HE?

- “it's fine” he says, then starts to fucking choke

- ah fuck he's down

- my boy is down

- FUCK ME SIDEWAYS WITH A CHAINSAW

- ARTHUR CROUCHES NEXT TO HIM LIKE “BB NO”

- lmfao bayard looks so shocked, his face is in disbelief and confusion, he's like who tf done me bad

- arthurs carrying merlin fireman style this is what i live for folks

- did like nobody notice the flower stuck on the inside of the cup? like honestly if you take a sip you’d kinda spot it or perhaps even the person pouring the drinks would have been “is this chamomile tea? no? then what the fuckery-doo is this leaf in here for?” yknow. it's like that scene in Matilda when the angry buff lady completely missed a fucking salamander in her cup when it was the size of her bloody hand. it brings out the same mood honestly

- does gaius have an index for these books or does he just have every page memorised and know exactly what page to go bc I FUCKING NEED THAT it would make bio so much easier if i knew what page it was on instead of looking back and forth from the homework sheet to my textbook, then closing it by accident and having to find the index again for that specific page i need

- arthur wants to fucking go on a life-or-death journey to save merlin i've never been so happy

- this is honestly my favourite episode, like it may be really fucking angsty but i love it so much

- arthur betrays his dad and leaves his room even after being told not to just so he can save a servants life is literally my new moto

- NO IT WON'T LOAD MY NETFLIX IS STUCK ON 99%

- okay so while i'm waiting for my shit to load, i just discovered the new fucking tumblr rule starting dec 17 and i'm like 0.2 inches away from just spamming NSFW pics on here just for laughs

- like hunty, that won't stop people from posting elsewhere or for thinking about sex bc like??? whatchu gonna do tumblr?? get the fbi to erase it from our minds

- i think nOT thot

- watch me get flagged for just using the fucking term “NSFW”

- i'm gonna end up asterisking everything (is asterisking a word? wow it has red under it so like probably not but i just added it to my dictionary so uhh it is now)

- by asterisking i dont mean furry kin shit ew no

- i mean like N*FW, s*x, t*mblr, m*rthur

- god it took me like 20 minutes to calibrate my fucking wifi and fix the connection problem

- wow the stage for the poison increased by 75% in 30 mins, damn

- merlins like like having a conniption on his bed lmao, chanting arthurs name and sweating lot

- do we ever find out how uther gets that scar bc i'm like 100% positive arthur was a little child and swayed his fucking sword too hard just as uther rounded the corner. the sword then collided into his fucking brain and destroyed a good part of his intelligence, targeting especially his morals on how to accept people and how to be a good father

- that’s my theory

- merlin starts talking enchantments in his sleep while gwens watching, and gaius is just there like wtf merlin ur blowing ur cover “oh! gwen!! uhhh sorry. he’s just... in a latin study group in his pastime and has an oral presentation in minutes”

- omg, nimueh, stfu

- i didn't know dinosaurs existed back then, this reptile be whack

- y’know what's funny? ppl thinking dinosaurs didn’t exist. i find creationism very very very intriguing bc how fucking stupid could you be

- that sword throw was faker than my moms tits

- arthur could have done better

- k but like what if merlin’s hand wasn’t under the covers? like he was just throwing that blue ball around right in front of gwen

- can arthur like not hear her? nimuehs literally enchanting the rocks right behind his ear lobes and arthur acts nothing of it until those said rocks collapse and he gasps and suddenly he realises shes evil

- also his fucking hair in this scene looks glorious. perhaps bc it's pushed back rather than his bowl cut, but its doing things to my abdomen

- i thought for a second she was pulling off her mask to say “nimueh” and arthur was gasping bc he only recognised her after her hair was shown, just like in that scene with joker and harvey in the hospital

- OH RIGHT THE SPIDERS I LIKE COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THOSE SONS OF A GUNS

- i’d be dead if those spiders came crawling up to eat me lmfao

- k so nimueh went from :) to >:D in half a second

- i'm smelling up those symbolisms, boys

- watch out pals cause here are some of them:

- merlin is the LIGHT of arthur’s life

- he LIGHTS up the party

- he gives arthur a BRIGHTER future

- he's the GUIDE for his path

- hahhahahaha

- i'm serious when i say i have a huge fear of insects (spiders count in that too, no discrimination) so i'm just putting that there, saying to yall id be fucking terrified

- gaius would be so confused, like we don't see his face here but merlins close-up sweaty concentrated frown, but he’s literally just screaming “ARTHUR!!” “FASTERRR!!” “YESS!!” “CLIMB!!!” gaius would be looking like he walked into something he wasn't supposed to. prob thinking he should just let the kid die so he doesn’t have to deal with this shit anymore

- UTHER LOCKED HIS SON AWAY I'M FUCKING QUESTIONING HIS PARENTING SKILLS

- that's grounding???? throwing ur child in prison???

- yes 999 can i have child services on his ass

- gwens so smart honestly i love her

- pretending to be a maiden for the food, god what a queen

- arthur buying it and saying “yuck you say this is food?! disgustang!”

- the fact that i misspelled disgusting but it autocorrected to disgustang (which is originally what i wanted but autocorrect shouldn’t have known) makes me consider if i should really check my dictionary…. who knows what words are on there

- they’re so smart

- and then this fucker ruins it all while eating his food, checking her out and saying yeah arthurs a prick, hyuck hyuck, realising only that wait fuck u aint the maiden

- how’d they know GWEN was the one not supposed to have delivered the food, what if it was that chick right there???

- welll….. maybe it's because gwen took her sweet time up those steps, staring as if she couldn’t blink at the guards below

- i forget what happens at the end of this episode besides the kiss, and there's like 9 minutes left my fingers may rot at this point

- wake him up! wake him up!

- OH WAIT HE DOESN'T FUCKING WAKE UP DOES HE AND EVERYONE PANICS

- YEAH OKAY I'M SEEING THAT NOW

- MERLIN STOPPED BREATHING

- LMAO GWEN IS IN TEARS

- “HE'S DEAD” SHE SAYS

- ARTHUR BB COME IN HERE TO KISS UR HUBBY ALIVE

- OH WAIT UR IN FUCKING PRISON

- WAIT UP, HE'S ALIVE AND SHE KISSES HIM AFTERWARDS????

- FUCK ME I THOUGHT FOR THE WHOLE EPISODE THE KISS HAPPENED BC HE COULDN'T WAKE UP THAT'S FUCKING WITH ME I DIDN'T KNOW

- i keep forgetting to switch up the cap locks, sorry if it seems im screaming im legit using my inside voice for most of the time just emphasizing my words a little more

- goddamn, everytime they say mercia i just think of “murica”, like those americans on the 7th of july or whatever date the “we love our country” day is, chanting it as they throw around beers and fireworks as people gather round in jerseys or crop tops

- it's not that hard to spot the european on here

- the most celebrated holiday here which contains a lot of beers and big pub gatherings (besides every fucking night honestly) is either new years, lowkey stereotypically correct saint patricks, and ig easter monday but that's more for the kiddos

- i mean ofc christmas and all that shit but im not the most devoted christian, i just like presents and small gatherings among good friends

- wow okay it wasn't the 7th of july

- i mean at first i looked up “USA day” (i couldn’t remember the name) and it popped up today’s date, and i was like no thats not it at all. dec?? its in like july i think. and i was close! it was july 4th.

- uther damn knows it's nimueh!!!

- i mean, he just overheard morgana and arthur talk about it, and initiated himself into a convo about it once morgana left, as his sneaky ass just slithered up like “hey man, u know that woman? yeah uhh, what she say? anything about me? no? k i know who it is tho”

- i thought he was going to apologize or like explain to arthur what's the sitch, but he just waits for five whole seconds before saying. “those who practice magic know only evil. they despise and seek to destroy goodness wherever they find it.”

- arthur, confused: sounds as if you know her

- uther, walking away: i do

- arthur:

- wow k lots of fucking quotes here cause it's the merthur reunion

- get ready babs

- arthur: still alive then?

- merlin: oh yes, just about… i understand i have you to thank for that

- arthur, leaning on the chair merlin is sitting in, stifling a smile: ah it's nothing, a half-decent servant is hard to come by. i was only dropping by to make sure you’re alright… i.... expect you to be back to work tomorrow

- merlin, watching arthur as he slightly walks away having embarrassed himself: arthur... thank you

- arthur, slowly: you too

- they stare for like 5 whole seconds

- arthur, uncomfortable: well… get some rest

- there we go folks: my eulogy.

- hope someone reads it at my funeral

[ghosty-schnibibit]

i liveblogged the live show because why the hell not, let’s do this!

thoughts before i even hit play: this is gonna be wild listening to because a) we've already had the finale, which i'm sure is going to make certain things a lot more funny/tragic in retrospect, b) i'm personally doing a series re-listen r/n and i only just got to the first part of petals to the metal this morning so it'll be fun trying to remember what items they have lol, and c) the description has got me really curious right off the bat so i'm feckin jazzed, lets do this thing

this is a brand new episode and yet i feel so nostalgic hearing the theme music again :’)

i take it this is the one they did during stolen century judging by the hard candies lol

justin you are the best

oh my god what the hell is going on

everyone screaming zone of truth is the best

aww, these boys are adorable

AWWW BABY

dorm... room? wait holy shit is this is og plane? is this the ipre???

what the absolute fuck is going on griffin

okay so this is a nightmare then

wait, is this before suffering game then? i am gonna have a hell of a time trying to figure out where the fuck this fits in the timeline of the show

griffin i love you holy fuck you dorky ass baby

oh my holy hell travis you dork

aww merle :'(

awwwww yeah merle B)

i don't know who they are either clint lol

please be angus please be angus please be angus

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH YOUR VOICE ANGO

old ango sounds so fucking weird oh my god

my bet right now is we're all in a dream w/ ango and this is how he imagines himself as a grown-up (in which case, that is super fucking cute)

maggie you dumbass ilu

TAAKO DON'T BE MEAN TO YOUR BOY

the twist is they've all gotten into robbie's potions and are hallucinating

who the fuck is brody

the minute griffin started describing the colors all i could picture in my mind was dippy fresh, i think my brain is just conditioned to think of gravity falls whenever i read anything in the same vain as ‘mindscape’ lol

i love that griffin has to clarify it isn't barry

I'M SCREAMING IT IS FUCKING DIPPY FRESH

okay, based on his reactions to brody alone... new headcanon: taako totally had a goth phase in whatever the elven equivalent of his teenage years were on his home plane, something lup teases him about mercilessly (she has pictures, and shares them with the whole ipre gang like they’re embarrassing baby photos)

MAGNUS I LOVE YOU

this is so fucking dorky and i love it

wait is this a real world au, omg

maggie you dork i love you, holy shit

i am one of those people justin :T

why do i feel like this prison metaphor... isn't a metaphor

glad magnus also picked up on the dream demon vibes coming off this creep

"three ruffians of varying sizes" oh please be who i think it is

MARVEY :D

i for one love the fan service thank you very much :P

MAGNUS CHILL, HOLY SHIT

"I DIDN'T GIVE MARVEY HP" I'M DYING

holy hell i need to draw some of this shit

taako ilu

magnus is wrecking shop holy shit

BRIAN BRIAN BRIAN

aww, not brian :(

hawthorne is such a villainy name

TAAKO YOU LITTLE FUCKING NARC

maggie you little dork baby ilu

i love justin's irrational hatred of nathaniel hawthorne

music appreciation class... if johann shows up i'm gonna cry

"arrive with spell cards, leave with immortality"

HIGH SCHOOL AU SWEET FLIPS :D

“are you on party drugs?” KILLIAN I LOVE YOU OH MY GOD

i need art of taako and magnus singing that together holy hell

this is so god damn in character and i love it

...merle please don't fuck the plants in botany

LUCRETIA :D

ms. ariel sounds vaguely like jenkins

TEEN MERLE SOUNDS SO CUTE I LOVE THIS

i just listened to the god damn vine-fucking episode on my way to campus this morning, this is surreal

what is going on

"don't fuck this plant" too late

justin freaking out is the best and i love it

MERLE ARE YOU REALLY DOING THIS IN FRONT OF LUCRETIA

“AND YOUR SAP” JESUS FUCK MERLE

I CAN HEAR JUSTIN YELLING FROM THE AUDIENCE

"i'm pretty sure it was a D for DONG" g r i f f i n

thank you in advance travis

i have zero idea what is going on

REN :D

taako being so excited to see ren makes the finale even fucking happier and i love this

i don't even know how to spell that to google it

n/m i found it and it looks delicious, i want one now

"TAKE A BITE RICK"

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

oh no, this is foreboding as all hell

wait who

griffin has some god damn good improv skills

"y'know it's like, good at basket ball" t a a k o 

TAAKO WHAT THE HELL

GLOBE TROTTER STYLE

YEEEAH GO MAGGIE!!! :D

HOLY SHIT MERLE

griffin you forgetful shit ilu

YEEEEEAH GO FLIP WIZARD!!!!!

this is so weird omg i wanna know what the fuck is up with the bell

maggie you lil baby 

woohoo, ango's back :)

oh no oh no oh no

WHAT IS THIS SHIT

WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK

this is gonna be sweet as hell and but i really wanna know wtf is going on: who cast the dreamscape? why??? what is this?????

ANGO NO

taako you fucker

i need to draw this so bad omg

"END ZONE OF THE COSMOS" 

fuckin railsplitter bats

"two fencing foils with the tips broken off" so you mean swords

badminton was the only sport i was ever good at in high school so i'm high-key lovin taako’s aesthetic r/n

SWEET FLIPS FUCK YEAH

just listened to the ad break for old time’s sake and i am so worried for the end of this episode now what the hell

"highchorch"

aww merle

HOLY FUCK MERLE

AWW FUCK YEAH, GO MAGGIE!!!

i love this, i love this so much

magnus you dummy ilu

STOP THROWING YOUR WEAPONS YOU DUMBASSES

"WAIT A MINUTE... I WON?" merle ilu so much

WAIT WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT IS THIS

DON'T YOU DARE LET THIS THING HURT ANGO

ZONE OF TRUTH

magnus is going to fucking kill dippy fresh holy hell

"YOU'VE SOLVED MY HIGH SCHOOL PUZZLE"

this was griffin's trial run for john's final form wasn't it

"THEY'RE ONLY CHILDREN"

how the fucking hell are they going to finish this in five minutes

THIS IS SO GOD DAMN COOL OMG

YEEEEEEEEEEAH MOTHERFUCKING WONDERLAND ROUND 3

GO ANGO!!! YEEEEES!!!!!

what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

oh god it's not dippy fresh it's sansy fresh

AND THAT'S THE END

final thoughts: fucking hell someone needs to write a fic explaining how the shit they got into the underdark if they haven’t already, if i don’t find any i might just write it out myself lol

[overlycaffeinatedwarmage]

RtS 21-24

These chapters should come with a trigger warning. They do feature some harsh scenes and some sexual assault, though it is from afar. I don’t dwell on those parts during my analysis.  Some are mentioned in passing, but the focus is on Cassie’s doings.  Each chapter is labeled with the type of trigger that it contains.  I would add page numbers, but ebook page numbering is different from the print book so they wouldn’t match for everyone.

This is another long one!

 Ch 21 *trigger warning, assault, slaver camp chapter*

We pick up directly after her battle with Gertie on the cart.  And poor Cassie winds up right back where she started with the slavers. Last chapter, the power told her that the cart driver was supposed to die, but Cassie choose a different route and he ended up not dying.  She considers the implications of that now.  The power again didn’t flare or stop her from changing time.  We know because there is a big ass battle coming up shortly that pretty well decimates the area and likely kills a whole bunch of people.  Anything Cassie messes up now, can be taken care of later during that battle.  She doesn’t know that yet for sure, but she’s starting to wonder now.

 Now Cassie and Rosier make it to the actual slaver camp. Cassie sees what’s happening to all of the women and it’s finally too much for her.  She starts to break away to help.  Rosier calls her back and reminds her that all of this has happened 1500 years ago from her point of view.  It’s all over and done with and all of the women and their children are dead now. He’s right and she knows that but she hates standing back and doing nothing.  I wonder if she’s thinking of how this almost parallels her own life. People have been taking her, without her consent, her entire life.  First Cassie was taken from her parents by Tony.  Then Mircea took her from Tony, in a way.  Next, after she finally thought she broke away from that life, she was taken from her chosen life by the Senate.  Now Mircea’s trying to take her again.  Jonas has been trying to steal her away too.  Everyone wants a piece of Cassie and no one asks her opinion on the matter.  I am so glad to see Cassie start to take back her power from all of these people and refuse to be taken anymore.  

 We meet the 6th century Witches. They remind me a lot of their 21st century counter parts.  With some hair dye and some modern clothes, I bet you couldn’t even tell the difference.  I love the “Come at me bro” attitude.  

 Cassie about the power’s lack of response even though she was actively participating in and screwing up the time line, “If I had to use a word to describe the overall response, it would have been “meh.” We’re going to have to work on our communication, I told it grimly.”

 Ch22 Trigger warning, still in the slaver camp

Cassie chats with the coven witches.  Their “man inside” is Pritkin, of course.  We find out that the Green Fey are the ones behind the slave trade.  We knew that, more or less, through some context clues, but actual confirmation is nice. Ah, it’s the Green Fey who are at war with the Dark.  Baby!Pritkin has a seemingly good relationship with the Dark Fey.  But it also seems he has a decent relationship with the Green (except Nimue) I wonder how that works with them being at odds with one another. It’s hard to tell his relationship with the Blue but it doesn’t seem awful.  His relationship with the Svarestri is trash, but they hate half breeds so that makes sense.  Interesting. This is something I need to consider further.  

 Anyway, the witches explain Nimue’s plan to steal more women to bring her numbers back up after her war with the Dark fey.  (Side note does Nimue make it out of all of this alive?) As the Witches talk about their plan Cassie realizes that their boy is Pritkin, lol, she's getting pissed.  And then he finds them.

 I love the visual of him running into the tent, thrashing around like crazy, confused as shit, running out head whipping back and forth before he sees them. The Pritkin of today is so calm under pressure, having centuries of practice. This one is new and raw still. All his elements are there, we see it, they just aren't finished yet. I love that KC lets us see character development in this unique way. No other story line can give it quite like this.

 Cassie slaps him, he acts hurt, she yells at him. "It's mostly my feelings-" I mean really, lol. In his mind it was perfectly logical to stash her with the slavers and tell her nothing. He's annoyed that she doesn't share the idea that it was a brilliant plan.  I mean, on some level it makes sense I guess.  But he simply cannot see it from her point of view either.  

 Then we have the Witches reactions.

W: “Friends?”

P: “Friends” C: “it's complicated.” And then they reverse it

W: “I've had friends like that”. They get the right idea all right.

 Ch23, the fey assault Cassie scene

The bracelet is serving as magical weapons mule again.  I love that the bracelet is seeing serious use this book after being sidelined for 2 books. It’s put to a good use too, not just used for killing.  Since it always comes back to Cassie, both she and Pritkin use it with that property in mind.  I also like the throwback to CbS, with Pritkin using it as a magical charm bracelet again (or for the first time, damn time travel).

 According to HtM the Green Fey have thrown in with the gods.  It seems the Svarestri have too. Jury’s still out on Blarestri.  I can’t see the Dark turning to them, especially after the Fey Blessing Radella gave Cassie.  More things to think about.

 Pritkin and Cassie start to get personal here because Cassie is stalling for time. It’s interesting.  Pritkin trusts her, even though no one else does. He doesn't know why he trusts her but he does implicitly and right away. Pritkin knows her even before he knows her. He just trusts her. Big difference from Mircea from EtN when Cassie shifts to the past, he didn't trust it was her at all. It took FOREVER for her to convince him.  Even when Cassie accidentally shifted to Pritkin early in TtS he trusted her from the start.  It was only after he checked the spell he placed on her that said she was upstairs that he just got suspicious. It took little convincing after the slamming that TtS Cassie was who she claimed to be. These two are damn soul mates. Their souls just know. (Side note soon after Cassie says she hates his fake eyes she talks out loud again accidentally).

 Pritkin brings Cassie into the hall as his prisoner. The fey make her strip. Pritkin doesn't want to allow it but Cassie relents quickly, knowing it’s the least risky course of action. Then the fey turn even more asshold-ish Ugh, I hate the fey. Welcome to one of my triggers.  Fuck you neighborhood boys who thought I was their play thing. Yuck yuck yuck. At least Pritkin comes to her rescue

 Ch 24, Cassie Pritkin sex scene

Then we have a Casskin sex-scene, depending on your definition of sex.  Even though the sex will get them out of trouble and Cassie is more or less willing, Pritkin is Not On Board. Not even a little. This is the first time the tables are turned. Usually Pritkin does oral for Cassie. Now it's switched. While this scene is coerced it doesn't bother me too much. They had other options and this is the path Cassie choose. She could have done a lot of other things. Plus, she admits she would have minded doing this under other circumstances. She loves and wants him (as she says later). The feedback loop kicks in and it saves their asses. She finally gets to see his O-face.

 Pritkin uses the power and distraction to throw a fireball. And then we have chaos.  It’s practically their signature style at this point.  “Chaos by Casskin” available at all major department stores and Augustines. Awwwwww Pritkin learned the word “Shit” from Cassie.  And he uses it in the proper context too!  I’m almost as proud as when my 5-year-old learned the word “Fuck” from me and used it in the proper context.  (He told me to “get those fuckers” while I was playing Zelda.)

 The tapestry scene, omg. I should not read this at work....This the first time they have gotten close where they weren’t immediately pulled away. That's why we have this big after effect this time! Every other time they have been interrupted and taken away from each other. Interesting!

They agree doing this is a bad idea and do it anyway, lol.  Yeah, been there, done that guys.  He needs her name here so bad, he won't do it without her name, just in case. Sweet in its way.  We find out why later.  

 TMI time, read at your own peril: I both loved and was frustrated by this scene. Loved it because it's hot as hell. Getting it on in the face of danger is hot!! In public, where you could get caught (and they do). Frustrated because I wanted penis in vagina goddammit! I mean I get that later, but still. Their angle of the action and the kissing sounds a bit awkward though. They are so close to the same height that it wouldn't work so well. I mean, ow!  Not that I know from personal experience or anything. Shut up! I hear you snickering in the back.

 Yeah, um yeah….

[i-write-stories-not-sins-bitch]

Episode 7

So my tumblr just… broke?

I lost what I wrote. But to summarise, Yen is using Ciri. They portaled to the woman’s home from S1 that helped ciri even after she stole the horse from her. And the fire fucker burnt the family alive. And yen’s telling her basically that she has to go to Cintra and is going with he to ‘protect’ her. But she wants her magic back and thinks Ciri is the only way to do that.

Fringilla is loosing her sway if things and elves are being killed for getting too close to the castle gates. Cahir is also being swayed slightly cause of what’s happening but he doesn’t like elves

Okay let’s continue

——

Oof hung from the castle walls

Ouch

——

JASKIER

THIS SCENE

THE MICE AND RHE PRISON ONG ITS HAPPENING

He is so beautiful

The mice are cute

“Sometimes it takes a prison cell, the tricks and takes that traitors tell. To help you see that freedom is all you got” that’s a raw line Jask

SO LOCK ME UP AND SOCK ME UP AND THROW AWAY THE KEY!! GO FUCK YOURSELF, YOU WHORESON, CAUSE YOURE THEOUGH FUCKIN WITH ME!!!

PURPOSELY AGRIVATING THE GUARD AS HE SHOULD!!

JASK CAN PLAY SPOONS OF COURSE HE CAN HE HAS SO MANY TALENTS MY TALENTED BABY

���Sing another word and ill cut ya tongue out!”

“Rude”

I FUCKIN LOVE HIS SASS AND SNARK

“Guys one of your harmonies were a little pitchy. Gordon, you’re amazing.”

oNE OF THE MICE ARE CALLED GORDON OH MY FUCKING GOD

GERALT OMG HII

Wait there was a window where Geralt was stood, and Jask was looking that was so surely Jask noticed Geralt???

It’s happening

I’m not ready

IT WAS STRAIGHT UP HUG

HE SAW GERALT, SAID HIS NAME, SAID FUCK IT AND HUGGED HIM!!! IT WASNT AFTER A BIG MONOLOGUE ABOUT HOW HE WAS LEFT AND STUFFFFF JASKIER JUST MISSED THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE MY HEART

GERALT ADMITTED THAT HE MISSED JASKIER AAAA

Ok omg jaskier is pulling out the file he has on that day and he’s SCOURING IT

PAHAHAHA “You left me on a mountain. I mean have you seen these boots? I mean, I pretty much jut slid all the way down that hill back to Caingorn.”

I love jaskier I love him sm

I

Oh my fucking god that was hot

G: “Jaskier-“

J:”Don’t fucking Jaskier me. I’m talking to you. This is how this works”

That was hot but nooo Geralt has to ruin it by butting in AGAIN and not letting Jaskier speak I’m angry

Ugh the “I made new friends, get over it” 🤨🙄 “Jealous”

——

Ok so ciri and yen are on their way to Cintra

Yen is still actin the hero

Yen also basically said she loved geralt

——

Ceinwen is a horrible name

HAHA FIONA THE NAME THAT CIRI WOULD USE

Fuck you dara

K filavandrel is saying fuk you to Fringilla and nilfgaard. Are they gon die

I’m so done with this part of the story. It’s in no way entertaining or interesting. It’s been dragged out far too long.

Oh no Fringilla gon kill em aAAALL

Ugh fuck you Stregabor

Oh no Triss is found out

——

THERE ARE SO MANY STORYLINES ugh

There are so many portraits of ciri. This woman is weird af

Who even is this man that wants ciri

Ok so this woman / mage is a necromancer?? Her test subjects start off dead?

Ok her names Lydia aparently, subtitles tell me so

——

Omg Joey Batey got BUFF holy fuck oh my god holy shit I’m I can’t do shit rn why what my he abbs back muscles shoulders face off dimples Nono Jaskier keep ur shirt off hood ok he just put the jacket over ok I can still see

I’m gonna have to rewatch this cause I’m so distracted rn

Jaskier seriously you may need to put a shirt back on cause I’m distracted

OMG ITS THE DWARVES

God I hate how people ignore Jaskier when Geralts around.

Oh wow ok suddenly Jaskiers in the background again supprise supprise

He has his Vest on too so I’m no longer as distracted, though I can still see chest hair

Ok so the dwarves are coming with Geralt and Jaskier to get ciri and yen

——

Ok so Yen is teaching her while bringing her to her room?

So basically Ciri can do magic without taking the energy from anywhere else

Oh shit she bleeeding from the eyes

Ito transported them across by screaming fuck

AND THE HORSES TOO??

——

Okay so Triss now knows Geralt thought Yen dead and that Tissaia met them

(I wanna go to bed but it’s 4pm now)

Tissaia ratted her out to the mage killer

This man talking about ciri being in the wrong hands but he is defo evil.

HE JUST SHOUTED AT TISSAIA HES TOXIC

LEAVE TISSAIA ALONE

——

Omg Fringilla is with her uncle

Fringilla is using the blood bond speech on her uncle

Oof you’re wrong my dude she is OBSESSED with power

——

Dara fuck off

Stop talking to Hedwig

I FUCKING KNEW HE WAS THE SPY BUT IT STILL HURTS

Dara you fucker

——

Cahir leave off

Just drop the cause you are going to die

Oh shit he IS dying

FRINGILLA THE BITCH SHE USED NIGHTSHADE ON THEM

Aaaaaaa she just slowly kicked him through his eyeball on my fucking god I almost puked

She killin em all

Bye bye Cahir you were gorgeous

Oof she toting w him

Oh is she not killing him??

Lucky bastard

——

The old crone is really fucking weird

Hedwig is back again

The gay king is here again

Redanian king

Gay king

Gay 🏳️‍🌈

All these different storylines are confusing me again

I just want Jaskier.

——

Here he issss

Once again Jaskier is walking while Geralt rides.

OMG JASK BROUGHT UP THE “do what pleases you” THING FROM S1

Omg the jabs that Jask is giving

Geralt apologised and Jaskier made a joke instead of getting mushy. Perfectness

——

Ciri and Yen are almost at Cintra. They just gotta pass the monolith

Yen you’re giving such mixed signals here

Deathless mother is in Yen’s head still

Oh damn ciri knows

She’s reading Yen’s mind

She knows

She told her that Geralt wasn’t there

Omg damn yen’s changed her heart

OH NO CIRI YOU FUCKING IMBECILE WHY WOULD YOU EVEN??

Ah so that’s why Yen had the stick.

Which means Geralt isn’t far behind

HERE HE ISSSSS

And Jaskier is left in the background again for fuck sake

JASKIER CAUGHT THE DECAPITATED HEAD

Oop geralts sword is to yen’s throat

Omg he trusts Jaskier with Ciri

Daddy Geralt thank you

To slay a monster

Does he mean Yen??

Omg ong omg omg

HE FULLY JUST CLAIMED CIRI AS HIS OWN

Omg what is she doing ok confused

DONT KILL THE DAMN BABY I SWEAR TO MOTHER FUCKING GOD

NO

FOR FUCKING FUCK SAKE

The deathless mother is so fuckin annoying

Oh shit she gone

Oh fuck

She’s free

——

Ciri don’t run from Jaskier goddamn it

WAIT NO DM FUCKING RUN

Fuck no she’s in Ciri

——

END OF EPISODE 7

——

Episode 8

Okay first of all what the fuck

Is she inside her mind because of the deathless mother?

What the fuck

It’s actually mousesack

But now she’s in kaer morhen?

Oh they’re so fucked

Everyone’s fucking fucked

Oop Geralt speak UP 🗣

We? There is no fucking we

What are you gonna do with no magic, Yen?

I’m so salty rn

Why is she what

DID CIRI JUST KILL COËN

SHES KILLING THE WITCHERS

I know it’s the deathless mother but

WHY NO STOP IT NOW

ITALIAN VESEMIR

Don’t fuckin believe her

Geralt knows straight up that ciri wouldn’t be acting like that

OH MY FUCKING GOD THE EYE SCAR IS IT GONNA SHOW UP?! Oh no course not

Oh wait Coën is alive

Thank god no offence to the other Witcher’s but

Oh no Italian Vesemir is gonna kill ciri

No offence, Italian Vesemir, but the black eyes aren’t as sexy on you

Ciri shan’t be eliminated

Go on Geralt, get grandad on board

Yen’s gonna try get the deathless mother for the power again for FUCK SAKE YENNEFER

HAVE YOU NOT DONE ENOUGH DAMAGE?!

Jaskier aaa

“Too many squirrels” ehehehe

Jaskier just wanted to sleep and drink and now he’s having to help fight a deamon ugh

I feel so bad for the poor man

——

I feel bad for the elves

But dara is making this worse

Oop dara just outted himself??

Oo okay uh I’m so fucking confused again. Break time?

No Jaskier is back on screen and he has a hangover

Sassy Jask

Oh yay, a little stone you’ve saved us all

I love how he can instantly become serious

I love him and his little smirks

How has no one found her yet even tho she’s in the main fucking hall

So ciri is between life and death right now I’m guessing. Everyone whos died is there I’m guessing??

I feel like Calanthe knows this is death

Calanthe definitely knows

Oop that twat asked for a dance aND SHE IS DANCING WITH HIM!?? She KILLED HIM

Calanthe definitely knows she’s dead

——

Oh yay Fringilla is back yay

I care not for her storyline at this point it’s too repetitive

Cahir is still hot af

FRINGILLA KILLED THE BABY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

cAHIR KILLED THE BABY?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!

CAHIR KILLED THE FUCKING BABY

——

Back to witchering

Hi Lambert

MEH LAMBERT UR HOT WITH BLACK EYES BUT GERALT WILL ALWAYS BE MY FAVE

Oh no LAMBCHOP is definitely gonna try to kill ciri for what happened

Geralt found her FINALLY

Cmon Jask get to Geralt

Wait Jaskier is here I stg I saw the screencap

HERE HE IS

Ahahah I love him so much

JASKIER YOUR FOREHEAD IS SHOWING HAVE SOME DECENCY

“What the fuck” is exactly right, Italian Vesemir

Oh fuck

NO

someone PROTECT THE BARD

THE BARD THE BARD IS HE OK THE B A R D

I CANT SEE JASKIER WHAT HAPPENED

LAMBCHOP BE CAREFUL

SomeONESHOW ME THE FUCKING BARD RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD

CIRI FICKIN HEAR IT UNDERSTAND WHAT CALANTHE SAID

JASKIER IS OKAY THANK FUCK

NO NOT ANOTHER DEAD WITCHER

AND ANOTHER

CIRI STOP THIS FUCKING MADNESS

AND ANOTHER ONE

ITALIAN VESEMIR DONT DO IT

CIRI FOR FUCKING FUCKETY FUCK SAKE

Don’t draw this shit out

CIRI WAKE THE FUCK UP

Oh my god

Her parents are there

CMON YOU GOTTA REALISE ITS FAKE CIRI

OH GOD WHAT IS THE ELF DOING TO THE BABIES OWH

SHE JUST KILLED DOZENS OF BABIES OH MY GOD

AND THATS FUELING THE DEATHLESS MOTHER

FCUK IFF IS THAT A FUCKING DRAGON

COME ON FOR FUCK SAKE

Yen hasn’t had mITALIAN VESEMIR JUST STABBED CIRI

COME ON PLEASE LET IT ALMOST BE OVER ITS GOT 20 MINS LEFT

Fucking finally Jaskier has been trying to get that through your thick skull for the entire damn episode

Ciri they’re dead. And you will be too if you don’t wake thE FUCK UP

They’re all calling to her and I’m gonna cry

CIRI THAT ISNT TOUR PARENTS FOR FUCK SAKE DONT DO IT

CIRI FOR FUCK SAKE

YENNEFER is gonna be the vessel

Oh my god oh my god oh my god

CIRI DONT DO IT PLEASE FOR GODS SAKE

I’m crying

Genuinely crying

God damn it

So ciri is gonna be ok and Yennefer is gonna die or some shit

Geralts monologue is making my cry harder

WHAT ABOUT YENNEFER

CIRI SAVE YENNEFER FOR FUCK SAKE SHE JUST SAVED YOU

“Oh not again” JASKIER HAS NO RIGHT BEING THIS FUNNY

Ciri really just pulled all threee of them into the monolith

Now what

We watch the world burn?

Ah yes we do

Great

ITS THE WILD HUNT

Omg

The fuck tho

Is that it

What about what the fuck is happening with the other guys

YENS MAGIC IS BACK FUCK YES

For fuck sake Jaskier was pushed out again I don’t understand how the screenwriters thought this was funny

——

Tissaia SHUT UP FOR FUCK SAKE UGH

Okay so next season is gonna be then getting through the wild hunt while hiding cause ciri has a bounty on her head

Damn Lydia ur fucked up

WHO IS HER LORD FFS

——

The elves are against everyone again

Istredd is gonna get killed

——

Oh great so EVERYONE is gonna be after Ciri now

——

Hi Hedwig

HOLY FUCK OK HEDWIG IS CALLED PHILLIPA AND SHE IS GORGEOUS O LORD

——

Wow ok Yenralt action. Where’s my Geraskier content tho

Good. Don’t forgive her

So Geralt is using Ciri as an excuse to stay with Yennefer okay then great parenting

But WHERE IS JASKIER

They’re all tired ffs life goes on. Us THREE will help eachother

Fuck Jaskier then

So Ciri portaled them to another world ‘spheres’

Wait is Ciri’s parents alive

Cause how else would Nilfgaard know

OH GOD IS THE WHITE FLAME CIRIS DAD?!?!?!?

IT IS OH MY FUCKING GOD HOLY FUCK IT’S DUNY WHAT THE FUCK THE FUCK THE FCUK THE FUCKKKKJ

THIS ALL FUCKING HAPPENED CAUSE OF YOU, YOU COMPLETE ARSEWIPE

——

Holy shit S3 trailer!?! NO??

The untold chapter

The Witcher: Blood Origin

——————————

HOLY FUCKING SHIT OH MY GOD WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT PLEASE TELL ME IM NOT THE FIRST TO FINISH THE SECOND SEASON I NEED TO TALK WITH PEOPLE ABOUT THIS!!!

SEASON 2 AAAAAAAA

[neonicsarchived-blog]

scandclovs replied to your post “khcleesis replied to your post “i started watching prison break and...”

bruh lincon and michael are just * heart eyes mother fucker * shit now i wanna add michael as a muse damn !

OMG i’m gonna throw all my muses at you if you do that i’m warning you!! i was thinking about it too though, but i wanna finish watching the show first before i dive into the tags cuz i really don’t want spoilers