#through their veins because theyre not your brother but they are and they do because you want them to have it it doesnt matter that they

[touyaz]

Sorry for the quick response, I have notifs on, but no way, I thought I was the only one who wasn’t into stsg!!! Why aren’t you into it, may I ask? Genuinely curious!

you're good, no need to apologise or anything lmaoo

I'm just not a big fan of people making every single relationship romantic tbh. like i am much more interested in seeing characters love each other and having that kind of soulmate-type, bone-deep connection with one another without turning it into a romance. and i think gojou & getou have that w one another, they have their little rivalry, and strength-wise no one else really matched up against them, and then they went through so much together and it's like no one really understands one like the other does but i see them as best friends. as brothers. no one will ever understand you like a sibling does. not a parent, not a lover. they've got so much love between them. i just hate that that love always gets turned into something romantic. it can be platonic, familial, and still be love. still be just as important.

i think the same of itafushi like. they care for each other. they havent known one another for that long but they saved one another's life. they're indebted to each other. but it's not a debt if he's your brother. it's just what you have to do. he's your brother. of course you're going to save him. of course you'd give your life for his. i just hate that it's like you can't ever have that love for someone without it being viewed as romantic. it's not a romance just because it's love. he's just your brother.

[crushedsweets]

Do you have and hcs of how Toby and Ben would act together? - Hoodie

YES SORT OF . u know the drill this is my au and bens story is one that i changed a lot so here we go :9

ok toby younger brother family trauma issues lonely grew up isolated etc. ben only child got killed by neighbor for absurd vr theory now inhabits a virus-ghost-form that he partially shares with several other dead kids.

toby and ben wouldnt have gotten along before ben died. only because ben was just. a 13 yr old boy addicted to video games ... those kids r mean, and toby was heavily bullied in his childhood. the ONLY reason bens not a huge dick anymore is bc his 'form' itself is fucked up (he glitches, he has an electronic vocal fry and occasional stutter from glitches, he has a weird glow to him, sickly drowned boy skin, veins look like those green code lines, red/black eyes, HE'S LITERALLY DRESSED LIKE LINK). bens not exactly insecure about any of this, but he knows damn well he cannot make fun of a tic without toby shooting back 10x harder.

which ok yeah kinda sad that ben has to look weird for him to not be mean but .. . like . . yeah. it is what it is.

they met mmm... maybe when toby was around 21? jeff would be 16, and ben wouldve been 14. SOOO toby doesnt really TRY to befriend ben. he's too old for him and has no interest in being besties w some kid. but he has a job to stop ben from tormenting people online and drawing attention to weird ghost sites and whatnot, so he started talking to all sorts of ai- cleverbot being the main, of course.

of all the proxies, tobys the only one ben likes. tobys a dick, but he has his moments where he's funny and gets distracted during a mission, so he's sat and rambled and bickered with the ai on slow nights. ben immediately knew everything about toby, because he has access to every single file on tobys computer, phone, etc.

ben SCARED THE SHIT out of toby upon their first meeting. he crawled out of tobys janky ass computer one day and toby nearly threw up from being so freaked out. yeah, he's killed people and whatever, BUT GHOSTS R FUCKING SCARY (and he has .trauma with ghosts and hallucinations of them (lyra)). ben already knew exactly who toby worked for, what toby was doing, and thought it was beyond funny. ben was the first being who already knew all the slenderman lore because he spends literally. every. second. on the internet. he is basically the internet. and he watches them, listens through their phones, watches, etc. he doesnt know the details perfectly tho cuz technology gets weird around slednerman/the operator. so toby thought that was helpful, in a sense.

so pretty quickly ben was fond of toby. thought he was like, that cool older brother of your friend. the main issue was the proxies at this time were trying to find and kill jeff because he was infected by the operator and slenderman deemed him 'too far gone.'

ben was actually the one who proposed the whole 'okay. so you want me to stop terrorizing kids online. fair. now ive noticed you keep trying to kill my friend(jeff). stop that and we can be cool :3'.

eventually they all came to some weird agreement where. ben will stop haunting people, the proxies will stop trying to kill jeff, jeff has to stop doing his 'full course' murders, and eventually, ben just likes them enough to start helping them with cctv, police files, etc. it was a complicated agreement that eventually ended in friendship, sort of?

they play video games together. eventually toby does see him as a little brother. it's kinda unsettling because the proxies realize just how much power ben has when it comes to just...... leaking everything. toby thinks that 'ok well, if ben leaks stuff about us, we leak stuff about jeff, and now he has no friends and is lonely, so he can't.' but tim and brian are legitimately freaked out at the thought of their lives being ruined anymore than they already are, so theyre pretty courteous to ben

ben will really just hang around. toby can just be eating breakfast and ben will pop up and ask whats up. he's annoying and clingy, and he can tell toby is biting his tongue half the time. . but toby is grateful sometimes. bens laid back and funny, and toby could use some laughs, so its a decent time for them both

again, overall, toby is just kinda too old for ben(although ben wouldve been a year older than toby if he was alive), but ben is really funny, he's nice to toby, he plays video games with him, he comes and checks in on him randomly. so toby appreciates having a freaky ghost little brother thing hanging around. bens one of his fave people (which is only saying so much when the other people he talks to are like . . jeff)

[magic-is-something-we-create]

HI I AM COMING TO BEG U FOR HELP HOW DO YOU MAP OH MASTER OF ART

HELLO HI I AM HERE TO AID U MY BROTHER IN ARMS!!!

this got very long and i tried to cover things that helped me when first getting into hand drawing maps, but if there's any other places where you're struggling let me know!!!! ive got a lot in my brain im just going from broad to narrow here :)

BIG SCALE:

great ways to make continents that look like continents include

- peeling an orange or equivalent citrus messily and laying out the pieces of peel, and copying those shapes pros: realistic coastlines that would fit together like in real life, if you get into the nitty gritty these can also serve as tectonic plate templates. cons: messy. might not have oranges on hand. can be hard to scale up and transfer to digital - getting some paper and pouring a bunch of doodads of some kind on it, then clumping them in vaguely the shapes you want and tracing the coastlines. things i have used in the past include dry macaroni, beans, dice, and paper stars. pros: potentially less messy than oranges, more control over the shapes, scales up easily cons: coastlines will be less realistic tectonically if that's a concern (for both of those i usually then take a picture of what i get and start editing in my drawing program of choice from there)

other strats to try: taking a grungy brush in your drawing program of choice, making it Huge, and scribbling a few clumps, then on another layer going in and tracing around the edges to make the coastlines. using a map from real life and cutting chunks out and rearranging/copying/warping them to make a collage you can trace for coastlines. etc

SLIGHTLY SMALLER SCALE:

country borders were, until quite recently, determined mainly by geographical obstacles like mountain ranges, rivers, canyons, oceans, etc that are very hard to cross. also borders will be highly disputed when it comes to warring states or eras without, like, satellites and bureaucracy and such!! making them fuzzy or jagged or having areas where both colors mix or stretches of land where no one knows where either country ends is in fact very fun and cool and sexy

mountains usually are chains, and so are islands. i like to make big curves across the world map where i think it would be cool to put mountains, and when those curves extend into oceans i like to put island chains on those as well. if you choose to do whole ass tectonics with your orange then do those on plate borders

biomes can get really specific in their placement if you want to be hyper-realistic, or you can put them wherever you like. personally i like a little realism a little "fantasy world can have whatever you want in it". deserts are usually on one side of mountains, and on the other is really lush. the higher the mountains the larger the areas and more extreme the difference between the two. outside of that case, youll usually get forest > grassland > desert in a gradient. also remember there are multiple kinds of everything

HOW TO DRAW THESE THINGS

good ways to draw rivers include: tracing blood vessels from photos where you can see someone's veins through the skin, dead trees or lightning, or cracks in stone. theyre all fractals and how detailed you want to get is up to you. BUT they always flow downhill and eventually meet the ocean (the ultimate downhill), usually starting in the mountains. also those fractals all go kinda reverse of what you might think; the ends feed into the main river, not the other way around. i used to mess that up a lot

PROTIP: canyons and the like are almost always old riverbeds. use the same method as you do making rivers, just widen the brush, maybe draw a border around the shape instead of just a line

mountains: personally i prefer using premade brushes for mountains just because the one (1) time i did them by hand it took me like four hours for one mountain chain. this video has some tips on different mountain styles if any of those look good to you, otherwise there are about a bajillion videos like that out there!!

biomes in general: just a little texture is usually plenty! doing some bushy edges on deciduous forests, pointy bush edges on pine forests, a few little grass lines and sand dunes, etc etc is usually plenty to get the point across :)

SMALLER SCALE

roads are personally the bane of my existence. i try to treat them like rivers just a little straighter, depending on what time period you're emulating you might go curvier. also they dont care about maintaining width or what direction the fractal goes in humans just put those shits wherever they walk a lot. in contrast railroads are usually pretty straight, simply because trains are built different than cars or wagons or people

cities are almost always on a source of freshwater and a valuable resource that draws people for work in the early days. also they'll have like 10-20x the landmass of the city itself in farms around them, less if theyre on the coast and have access to lots of seafood, more if theyre more landlocked. those farms can be farther away if theyre more industrialized and can transport the food en masse easily. you also dont have to draw the farms just kinda mention them in the story if relevant

towns can be on smaller rivers, lakes, or even just by natural springs. you wont find permanent settlements in places where water isnt accessible (unless you have magic to fix that which is always a cool detail)

EVEN SMALLER SCALE

city maps i have 0 advice on other than roads get thinner the fewer people travel on them, industry will be on a very different side of town than the rich people for smell and noise reasons, and especially when emulating pre-car times, think about how far you would feasibly walk in a day. if you want characters to be able to know pretty much the whole city that they live in, it's gotta be reasonable for them to walk to the farthest edge of their knowledge and back home (or to an inn) in a reasonable timeframe, if they have a home. also big cities tend to have colleges, trade schools, and a bajillion and one jobs that need doing. magic cities might need mages to maintain infrastructure, non-magical cities need people who light the streetlamps when it gets dark, waste disposal is Hugely Important, etc etc etc

it can sound boring at first but coming up with the odd maintenance jobs people have to do in cities can be a really fun creative exercise, and it might inform how the city is laid out, too!!

IN CONCLUSION

think of the world in layers. landmasses + oceans -> biomes and geographical landmarks -> countries and borders -> settlements -> districts. i literally have those on different layers in clip studio so i can futz with them more easily.

also realism is not the be-all-end-all of this. there's lots of room for symbolism and environmental storytelling in maps, as ive ranted about in the past, and stuff doesn't have to make absolute sense in the real world to work well for your world. breaking the rules is like, art 201 and it applies to ever part of the art in question <3

i hope this helped!!!! again pls let me know if you have any more questions i love helping out :D

[beeben]

So I was going through some Krieg fics on AO3 and found your story "Monstrous"... Fuck that hit way too close to home. It was so amazingly written, I can sympathize bc I suffer with self loathing in my worse times, some of it was like seeing my own thoughts written out in front of me. I'm 1000% going to be reading Paging Doctor Samuels once I get the time to, I can tell its something you've had a passion for based on how much content you have going for it. Keep up the amazing writing 💙

AUUUUUGHHH THANK YOUUU monstrous is honestly one of my favorite things ive ever written like i poured my GUTS into that thing brother. I try so hard to capture him right. Hes always been a challenge for me because of a few reasons, i try to keep his thought patterns as realistic as i can with also acknowledging that hes like. Not normal yknow??? I don't like going oh psycho krieg sane krieg babbling back and forth i dont think real people work like that (even in someone with DID. I don't think he does have DID i just think he has a compartmentalized personality and schizo-affective disorder.) I don't like saying a specific disorder because i think that ties him too much to real life and it devalues people who have like schizophrenia or bipolar or other real cluster b personality disorders.. i dont think its right to add a real label to a character they specifically made to be an ahhh crazy psycho dude...... THAT BEING SAID! i think he (especially in the dlc) is one of the more respectful renditions of a severe mental illness that ive seen and i do want to keep him in that vein of believability.

Him saying "my other self" is referring to what everyone thinks is psycho krieg, but to me when I look at that, its not different from him. He says "my other self" to distance himself from things he finds revolting/stuff hed "never do". I think his body image is one of the leading things that effect this and thats kinda why i wrote this. He looks in the mirror and he doesnt see himself. He sees a thing that someone else made and attached his soul to. a lot of what i focus on with him is the acceptance stage in grief, i think thats the hardest part and people definitely back track a lot.

Hes grieving his past self. Its a big issue for him. He misses something he doesn't remember, and thinking of it for too long scares him. He feels stuck. He feels stupid. He feels like hes lost.

Mayas kinda like an anchor for him. Not in a manic pixie dream girl type of way- i dont think either of them see her as that- but like a support system. Everyone benefits from someone who can ground you during a crisis and i don't necessarily think it has to be a romantic partner but in this case it is, cus she knows him well enough and she sees and can identify the signs of him when hes going through it.

Krieg to me is a very private person. He puts on a persona to people for defense. The fact that Maya can see right through it makes him WILDLY uncomfortable. Cus he's always been taught that in order to be a good partner for someone (a man with a woman specifically) you cant act dangerous or threatening at all to them or else its predatory and youre seen like an abuser. He thinks his whole being is dangerous. Its not really that he struggles with masculinity, thats not a problem for him really its more like hes been told that he SPECIFICALLY is undesirable, he specifically is overly violent, hes too big, hes too unhinged to be in a healthy relationship with a woman. (This goes back further than the experimentation i feel like his mother specifically had something to do with his self image + why he became a mercenary in the first place.)

Maya doesn't care about that. Shes had like . 0000000001% of the romantic/sexual experience that he's had she does NOT know what a typical relationship looks like whatsoever. She doesnt even call him her boyfriend she doesn't define relationships like that at all. They're partners thats what she sees. Theyre equals to eachother. Mayas just as if not more fucked in the head as he is, and twice as dangerous.

She'll support him through anything he needs and she loves him for his uniqueness and his roughness and his WHOLE personality not just what he thinks is likeable about him. His thought process getting with her started as " she can see that deep down im not a monster" to "shed still be there even if i was a monster and still feel the same way" its subtle but its emotionally wrecking to him because that means she's really not there to coddle him. Its not tough love like you and i would say necessarily but he has this image in his head that if he found true love hed go "back to normal" and if he doesn't then hes not trying hard enough. He's gotta accept he'll never be normal and that's completely fine.

With that though comes loneliness. Even if he accepts hes different its still very isolating. It doesn't have to be though, especially in borderlands.

Krieg is still human. Thats probably the most important thing to me. He looks a little funny but his heart beats red blood and his head is full of deep philosophy and love and emotions that only people can experience.

Sentience is a blessing and i feel like he needs to learn that that blessing includes him :) thanks for reading.

[bonesandthebees]

BEE IM SO EXCITED LETS GO OKAY GLASS FIRST WOOO THIS IS ALSO GREAT BECAUSE IM GETTING MY HAIR DONE RN AND NEEDED SOMETHING TO DO

ahhh thats the palace hes there in there in that yep

he might as well be dead i mean the pythia that he once knew is dead

flashback wooooo

your descriptions are alwasy SOOOOO

GOOD LIKE IDK THEY JUST AHHHHH

omg theyre at nikis right probably

“my pythia” why dont you go crawl up you own a— anyways. this is a pg zone (i just dont curse)

i want to slap him around a bit, just a tiny bit just like hang him from the ceiling and wack him like he’s a piñata at a five year olds birthday

THEY ARE AT NIKIS

TATTOO

HES DOING IT ISIRJSF ANDOQLFNWIF

tommy is so baby brother

NOTNIN THE PHYSICAL SENSE *spins around very quickly like a tornado*

WHO HE IS OH MY GOD BEE

why is schlatt

i think schlatt would look nice with a black eue it would bring out how much kf a d— anyqays

TAKE THAT SCHLATT

i need more people to draw this tattoo because every singly one is so ahhhhh like i have no clue how this is supposed to look bjt every design peiple make makes sense and i need more im so curious to see how people see

i love the way wilbur thinks i want to take his brain and poke around in it like its so intriguing

also like idk as a person feeling your pulse is always so… intimate? i do it a lot, like just feeling my pulse reminding myself that im human, we all have a pulse. idk its comforting in a way just feeling the way the blood pumps through your body regardless of the world, that youre alive no matter what as long as that blood keeps pumping. like even when everything feels out of place, youre still human.

sorry anyways

anywho thats why hes fiddling with the cuff then hes nervous aboht them seeing

UGH HES SO ANNOYING I WANT TO CHUCK HIM ONTO LIKE I-5 OR SOMETHING

im gonna send a prayer your way schlatt.

GO WILBUR GO

god hes so idk his brain man and the way you write and god i love this fic so much

WHY DOESNT IT FEEL LIKE MINE AHEOHEIFJWO SO WOROWKK OK DA P WAS HEQID

im cool and chill

the vessel.

yep.

cool.

thats cool.

HES WILBUR

i just like god this fic man

ah yes tommys tattoo

just saying on… july 28th i said it was from wilburs murder attempt!! im so smart sometimes

HE DOENST WANT TO BE EMPTY AGAIN WHAT RHE FUEFUVJ

anyways im so normal aboht this fic

oh me too wil lets fist bump over our shared fear of failure and disappointment

me when he realizes that they werent empty he jsut didnt know they were allowed to not be empty

THEYRW FMAKILTLY OU YK EGOD THEY MEHM

BROTHERISHD OH MY GODHD I LOVE RJEM

BOOM AH

GUNSHOTS AH

HIS UBER DRIVER IS HERE YAY!!!!

TOMMY!!!!!!

HIS HROTHERUWIDHS IM NEVER GOING TO HE OKAY WHEN THEY SAY THAT

i loveddddd the way you formatted it it was super neat and idk im just a sucker for interesting formats of swifching between past and present and like idk yeah it was cool

AND NOW OFF TO READ THE ROYALTY AU!!!

- 🪿

hi goose this is a few days old now but finally getting around to answering this!

aaa thank you I'm so glad you like my descriptions :D it was definitely a bit tough getting back into the glass writing groove with the style I use for the descriptions and stuff so I'm glad it turned out ok

"my pythia" made my skin crawl to write

YEAHHH TATTOO TIME. every single time I see fanart of the tattoo I freak out (/pos) so much because all the interpretations are SO cool. I love seeing what people come up with because I myself have no artistic ability, I can only describe what's in my head through words, so when people are able to actually put that into art form it just makes me so happy

yes exactly that's why I wanted it on his pulse!! I wanted it to sit right over the reminder that he's human! that he has blood pumping through his veins! everyone has that blood and that heartbeat and I wanted the tattoo to sit right above that both because of the connection to his heartbeat, but also because it's the place other people can feel your pulse. it's the connection point almost between your pulse and others, if that makes sense.

(random fun fact, I can't feel my own pulse on my wrist. doctors and nurses can't get a pulse from my wrist either. like there have been many times I've gone to the doctor and the nurse has tried to take my pulse and they frown and readjust their hand and then they try the other wrist and no matter what it doesn't work and I'm just sitting there. the only place you can get a pulse off of me besides straight up feeling my heartbeat is on my carotid artery on my throat)

aa thank you I had a lot of fun describing wilbur's thought processes in this chapter, especially with the alternating format

you were RIGHT about the vine tattoo you got it and it was so funny I had to just not say shit but i was like yup, several people have already figured it out :)

HIS UBER DRIVER IS HEREEEEE

aaa I'm so glad you enjoyed!! I had so much fun with the format of this chapter. I plotted it out a bit before my trip, and I specifically wanted to finish ch 25 before my trip because I knew ch 26 was going to be the one I'd most want to write after I got back. I needed a REALLY good exciting chapter to come back to and the alternating format was going to be the way I sucked myself back into the story after being out of that headspace for 3 weeks straight, and it worked. it was just so cinematic in my head y'know? I can perfectly picture the flipping between past and present with like different color grading and lighting and music and all that

[himbos-hotline]

For the fic writer ask game, 23, 32, and 67 ❤️

32.) Best writing advice for other writers?

I have already answered this on a post so I'm just gonna copy and paste this answer into here! so if it reads the same. Thats why. HAVE FUN! thats the most important thing! You should at least enjoy writing and it should have a possitve effect on you. It should be fun. theres also some tips somewhere on my blog. I have a tag or at least HAD a tag that should be 'mouses writing advice' theres a whole buncha tags there

32.) Name three of your favorite fanfic writers.

Oh god, just three?! Oh no! off the top of my head and in no real pticular order! and just cuz I dont mention someone doesnt mean theyre not a favourite. I love so many fanfic writers!

Okay so DojaDoja on ao3! their hangman and kenny fics are literally the ones I reread the most. Their series 'Cinderella Story Never Happens to Whores' literally I read it in a day and I want to bite through a chuck of drywall. EVERYTIME I READ IT! if anyone knows like who this person is, I would like to be their friend! and if they happen to follow me first, OH my god hello! second why?!?!?!

WeMadeMosters on ao3. They are like,,,,so fuckin talented. I am so in LOVE with their writing style and how their emotions seem to be thrown into writing! They write such glorious lines and it is kinda a reason why I keep writing because theri fic alters my brain chemestry! their hangmatt fic is what made me ship it ngl! If youre looking for adam squared fics to read I cannot suggest love monster enough! Again if youre on tumblr, please dont be scared to follow and DM or shoot us an ask, I will actually have so many freak outs about it cuz you are literally the reason why im writing

@wrestlezaynia your fanfics draw such real emotions out of people that it HURTS sometimes but theyre so addicting that you literally cant stop. You are one of the many reasons why I ship zowens and want it injected right into my veins

67.) Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

Promtps! I love writing prompts. I love people sending me prompts in. Because it shows what people like and enjoy and brings me joy to see people actually liking my writing enough to go "hey can you write this?" or "I trust you with this prompt, with this ship. I love you." I get really happy whenever people request stuff with Jay and her boyfriends and girlfriend or withh her brothers or with the BCC or hell anything really. Because people like the little gremlin as much as I do!

ask game // list of wips

[rillette]

dnd might start goin a little bit later but thatsss ok

we go home go sleep. cc wakes up in the middle of the night to see a desaturated blue jester at the window. we sleep in and marie leaves smoothies out for us but her and her children do not seem to be home. two kidu (kileon independant detectives unit) guards knock on the door and codos and damona hide while cc answers the door (harry and turf are still sleeping upstairs) they ask somethin about have you seen people with unnatural blue colored limbs and then leave. we head out on that quest the tci assigned us and we meet two old owlens on their farm and oh my god they are adorable theyre an old married couple and augh they offer to make us dinner when we get back from the lake even if we dont successfully unblock the water theyre just really sweet old people i love them. on the path were on we can ALL see a black and white jester writhing on the ground pretty fucked up and then it dies and fizzles away. we come up to a dam that was causing the water problem and make a bunch of percy jackson style dam puns before a guard fuckin disappears in the woods and then right after him a purple jester (only cc can see) comes out. says he is ferdinand and that "everything will make sense in due time" also he apparently looks kinda like ccs brother. we find a pipe in the ground and hear a voice through it and oh my god we spent like 30 full minutes fucking with this guy he was like "get off the scanner you arent supposed to be here" and we just kept stepping on and off and on and off god he hates us anyways we burn down the dam and fix the water issue. the pipe guys name is oliver and hes apparently the old owl peoples son. the woman old owl gives us cookies and the man old owl says he loves us and we all awwww and go on our way. murmur asks us to pick up a sword for her so we do AND WE GET IT FROM ANOTHER BOAT MAN-LIKE DUDE and an emo girl but boat man :) then we go back to tci headquarters and citrine and murmur are sitting with a guy who "stares sadly at the empty tables and chairs..." and i spend about 5 minutes going DIRK YOU FUCKIN DIDNT YOU DID NOT YOU DID NOT DO WHAT I THINK YOU DID anyways motherfucking marius hands us a letter they found on a guard that is "incomplete" but codos and damona can read all of it because blue and it saysssss "Goodevening bark, Thank you for your last letter, It seems that he has gotten closer to finding the Aersk site, although it runs in his veins, he won't believe a trail has gone cold until there's true evidence. I require you shut down the operation in June. Move the rig to somewhere closer, possibly the scattered pine? If you fail to follow i will be forced to take stronger methods, if you wish to pursue life I recommend you move fast. Wouldn't want to end up like Theriot, would you? Yours truly, Emperor Rylefion" which is hm. we take it and head back to maries where she says theres a letter for us and it is from june and is said to be from eivas. the letter inside is very much not in eivas's handwriting though and basically says "come back to june as soon as you can. emperors guards found where we were. eivas is in bad shape." and harry says its in drygon (bartender lady) handwriting. we have turf use a message spell to contact ollie and we go on the boat and timeskip back to june. we walk in and the place is like...messed up. we go up to eivas and theriots room and eivas is a MESS also doesnt have a shirt on for this whole conversation. hes basically like "a lot of people died everyone else is either moved to a different spot or captured. theriot..." and he kinda cuts off at theriots name so we all are like. "theriot got taken??" and we go down to turf and have him use another message spell to contact theriot (damona pulls out eivas's wallet to show turf what he looks like and codos gives like a general description of how he acts) and we message him like "hey. what the fuck happened? are you safe? where are you? were going to find you" and he responds pretty much immediately and is like "im safe. dont come looking for me. im were i belong" AND THATS WHERE WE FUCKING ENDED IM SOOOO

woahhhh the plots heating up!!! so much stuff happened this time omg. the jesters thing is really interesting, i wonder why only cc could see the purple one. and theriot omg 😨

[expectingtofly]

i got a comment on one of my fics saying "dean is a being of love" and guess what—theyre right! dean is love <33

Cas once told him that he was defined by love. That everything Dean had ever done had been for love.

It didn’t seem true, at first. Not in a life defined by violence, by pain, by fear and grief. Dean acted on instinct, honed over years. He acted on self-preservation, selfishly. He acted on guilt, to atone for his sins.

Not for love. Love made you weak, made you reckless, soft.

His dad taught him that, but Dean loved him. No matter how many times Dad screamed at him or hit him or put him down, Dean loved him. Even when he was screaming back or shoving or cursing his name, he loved him. Because he was his dad.

His dad despised love, but he loved Dean’s mom. He preached the worst side of love because he lived it. He loved Mary and so he hunted to avenge her death, became reckless and selfish.

Sometimes Dean wondered if his dad truly loved his mom. Or if he only felt guilty.

But Dean wondered if, put in his dad's shoes, he wouldn't do the same. Because he loved his mom. He held tight to every memory of her, imagined the scent of her hair and the taste of the pies she cooked just for him. He loved the way she had stroked his hair while tucking him in, her reassurances when he confessed being scared of the dark. Angels are watching over you.

He loved her even when she came back to him and he was confronted with the truth that the woman he loved in his memory was not a complete image of the woman in front of him. He hated the way she left him, but he loved her because it wasn’t her fault. He hated her inability to be the perfect woman his dad created fantasies of, but he loved her because she was real.

Love made you wake gasping from nightmares, images of people you loved turned bloody and torn, seared into your eyelids. Love didn’t stop you from making mistakes. No matter how much he loved his brother, he couldn’t always save him. Love was a responsibility, a burden. Maybe his dad made it seem that way. Because Dean would spend sleepless nights saving strangers from the things that went bump in the night even if no one made him. Would care for Sam even if no one left him with fifty bucks and instructions to keep the kid safe.

Love meant sacrifice. He hated love, sometimes. Because he loved, he couldn’t be selfish. His life given up for Sam's. Over and over, no end in sight. That was love—never-ending. He knew that. Once it got a hold of you, it didn’t let go. Maybe he loved too much, maybe he didn’t know where love ended and some twisted dependency began. The distinctions between love and its ugly distortions had never been marked for him.

But Dean loved. He knew that, even if he tried to hide it, suppress it, narrow it. Romantic love wasn’t for him, he said. He couldn’t be tied down. And yet he loved Cassie and Lisa and Rhonda, fell asleep to dreams of a home with a fence and a yard that needed to be mowed.

In a life where you could lose anyone in the blink of an eye, he learned he must love sparingly. The less he loved, the less he stood to lose.

He never could follow the rules.

If love was only for family, no room for anyone else, then he widened his definition of family. It didn’t end in blood, it included a grumpy old man and a rebellious teen with too much eyeliner and a vampire and a straight A student and a geek with red hair and a nephilim child… love never ran out. He always had room for more.

He loved and loved and he didn’t ask for any back. He was weak enough to love, not to ask for it.

But he was loved anyway.

Everything you have ever done, you have done for love. In nearly the same breath, the angel told Dean, I love you.

His mom said angels watched over him—he didn’t know they could love him too. He didn’t expect it and when given it, didn’t know what to do with it, overwhelmed by it.

But Cas had loved him a long time. Every touch of healing grace, every rebellious act, every word of protection written into ribs, every long, watchful night—love in all its facets.

And he realized love had surrounded him his whole life whether he noticed it or not, like a worn, warm flannel fresh from the dryer.

Bobby had loved through games of catch and fond idjits, through lessons under the hood of a car, through twin-sized beds always ready to be slept in.

Sam learned love from him, it seemed. Because he too loved through sacrifice, painful to receive. But sometimes love was easy, movie nights and pranks and long talks over miles of road.

And he was lucky that so many of those he loved, loved him back in their own ways, and he’d never been good at accepting it because he knew he didn’t deserve their love, no one's love.

Cas told him he did. Told him love ran through his veins and rested in his touch. Showed him love was powerful, freeing, joyful.

Cas had learned a little too much about love from him, though, it seemed. Too willing to give and not receive. Not a fault, but Dean was tired of not asking for love, of denying himself something that he needed like oxygen. He thought Cas might be too.

Something about love he didn’t fully learn until he finally said the words: it felt like a miracle when it was received in the same manner and weight and extent and force as it was given. It was overwhelming in its depth, bewildering in its complexity, frightening in its hopefulness.

But thrilling. He’d never felt less weak, never felt more empowered.

He wasn’t a killer or evil or a failure or ruined, like he told himself and like he heard. He was loved and he loved. He liked to think he was made of it.

[wouldpollyapprove]

Holding Hands

Request: can i request smth for finn shelby with the prompts for humor 7 & 12 fluff 7 & 10 ?? Maybe theyre childhood buddies everyone knows they like each other except themselves😳👉👈 tysm

Requested by @asianbuttcheek

Finn Shelby x Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: Blood

A/n: I have been struggling with this one for over a week and I’m so happy to have it done. If the ending seems kinda rushed, I’d like you guys to know that it is. I was inspired to write the beginning and knew exactly what I wanted to write but then halfway through I was lost. So, yeah. I also want to say happy birthday to Kendall! I know it’s a little late, but I hope you enjoy this! 

Masterlist

Her breathes came in ragged intervals, feet bounding against the cobblestone as she raced to Polly Shelby’s house. Minutes before, Y/n had been peacefully helping her mother with the wash when the phone by the kitchen stove rang. Lucky enough to be the one to pick it up, unlucky enough to be the one the caller was looking for. Her mother was barely able to catch sight of her daughter before the door shut behind her. And now, she was navigating the streets of Small Heath, trying not to get caught on a loose stone and fall on her face.

Y/n slowed her pace to keep from hitting the front door and wiped her palms along the skirt of her dress. Without hesitation, she twisted the knob and entered the house. Shouts rang through the hall as blood slithered through the air. Quietly, Y/n made her way to the parlor, where all the chaos was seeping out of. Freezing in the doorway, careful eyes watched Tommy enter from the kitchen with a bottle of whiskey and Isaiah hold Finn against the sofa by the shoulders. The rest of the boy’s family were littered around him, trying to keep him still before his older brother knelt in front of him, Arthur force-feeding Finn the whiskey, and began to search for what could only be a bullet in his shoulder. 

Screams filled the room, whiskey doing nothing to numb the pain. Y/n wanted to turn away, shield her eyes from the pain in Finn’s own, but that couldn’t be done once she locked eyes with his aunt. 

Rushing from his side, Polly gently reached out for Y/n, rubbing her arm as she pulled her close. “He needs you, dear.” A lump formed in her throat at the older woman’s words. Catching the fear in her eyes, Polly flashed her a soft smile, “Hold his hand, Y/n, he needs you there.”

She nodded, trying to find the confidence to be his strength. 

The two had been friends for years, doing everything together. If this were a few years prior, Y/n would have no issue right beside him, but they weren’t kids anymore. Maturing and finding their place in the world, somewhere along the line, Y/n had developed feelings for her friend. It was dumb, unfair to both of them. To keep from trying to mend a broken heart, Y/n had never said anything, there was no chance Finn would feel the same. 

So, standing there, she didn’t want her actions to mimic her feelings. But hearing his screams of pain, Y/n knew she couldn’t just stand there.

Sitting by his side, Y/n grabbed his hand and tried not to think too much about how he’d gotten himself shot. “Hey, hey, Finn, look at me.” Bringing a finger to his chin, she guided his eyes to her. “There ya go,” Y/n cooed. “Just focus on me.”

“It hurts,” he muttered between gritted teeth, a few strands of hair falling in front of his eyes. 

“I know, I know.” Witha gentle touch, she brushed the hair out of his eyes. At his brother’s words, John shoved a new bottle of whiskey into her hands. Words didn’t to be exchanged for her to know what she was to do with it. “Here, Finn-” Y/n brought the bottle to his lips, tilting it to allow the liquid to run into his mouth. “-you need to drink this.” Finn didn’t hesitate to drink up as much of the alcohol as he could. 

After a while, Finn was drunk and Tommy had retrieved the bullet. Everyone was finally able to breathe once the blood-covered metal glistened in the light. 

“Let him rest,” Polly said, coming to stand behind her nephew. “He needs it.”

Tommy nodded as John and Arthur were already making their way into the kitchen. As much as it hurt them to see their little brother in pain, they knew their aunt was right. All Finn needed now was time and rest. Y/n stood to join them in the next room when a hand landed on her shoulder. “Not you,” Tommy gently pushed her back into the cushions. “Finn needs you.”

Opening her mouth to protest, Polly quickly added, “It’s alright, dear, just sit with him.”

She nodded, watching the pair disappear into the kitchen. Glancing at the man sitting next to her, Y/n couldn’t believe he had been stupid enough to get shot.

“You’re staring,” he grumbled, half-closed eyes looking back at her. “It’s because I’m so attractive, isn’t it?” 

Y/n rolled her eyes playfully. “I say this, and I cannot stress this enough, I find you completely repulsive,” she answered with a grin.

He raised a brow, “Repulsive… I’m not- maybe I am.” Finn stared straight ahead, deep in thought. Tilting his head back and forth, Y/n smiled in amusement at what might have been going through his head. “You’re being extra sweet today,” he muttered after a while.

“That’s because you were shot,” she lied. Now wasn’t the time to expose herself. “Try not to say everything that pops into your head.” With that, Y/n pulled him close, allowing her friend to rest his head on her shoulder.

There would never be a right time to tell Finn, not with all the fear that came with it. It was like stepping into a dark cave, you never knew what you would come upon. Y/n didn’t want to step into the unknown and risk a broken heart and a destroyed friendship. Even if Finn didn’t feel the same but wanted to remain friends, she knew it wouldn’t be the same. So, silence was the best option. 

After a while, the pair fell asleep. Y/n had shifted, resting against the armrest with Finn’s head in her lap. Polly went to check on them once no one could hear even the faintest whisper. A smile spread across her lips at the sight in front of her. It was obvious to see that the pair were in love, but neither seemed to know it. One day they would, she hoped. One day they would and her nephew would finally have the steady structure that his family struggled to give him. The older woman went back to the kitchen, closing the parlor doors behind her so no one could disturb them.

With a few hours of sleep and the alcohol slowly draining from his system, Finn woke up. He couldn’t remember much that had happened after being shot, the adrenaline and alcohol acting as a wonder drug. Lifting his head, Finn glanced up at Y/n, who was still asleep. He couldn’t help but smile at her. Even though he was still in some pain, he couldn’t deny that she was beautiful. 

The shoulder he was shot in ached and Finn knew better than to try and sit up. Without assistance, it would be a nightmare. So, he laid his head back down and traced the veins in the hand that was resting against his chest. It didn’t take long for Y/n to stir from the action, slowly blinking her eyes open.

“Look who’s finally awake?” Finn teased, taking her hand in his.

Grumbling, she said, “Shouldn’t you still be asleep? You got shot, ya know?” She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes with her free hand before she froze, realizing her other hand was held tightly in Finn’s grasp. 

Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it. Like a chant Y/n said those four words, trying to keep the heat from rising to her cheeks. It was nothing. Perhaps it had happened while they slept. It couldn’t be anything more than that, right? No matter what it meant, her skin quickly turned a shake of red and there was no way for her to tell if it was noticeable or not. It clearly was, though, when Finn asked, “Are you… blushing?”

She wanted to laugh it off, get up and walk out of sight, but there was no way she could do that with his weight against her. “Um… no,” she answered.

Unconvinced, her friend raised a brow. “Okay,” he drawled. “I don’t believe you, but okay.”

“Just drop it, Finn,” Y/n sighed, not wanting this to be the moment when everything fell apart.

Pushing himself up with one hand, he turned to look at her, eyes full of concern. If Y/n didn’t want to talk about it, he knew it was best to drop it as she asked, but he couldn’t stop himself from asking, “Why?”

Avoiding eye contact, her eyes bounced around the room. Maybe if they didn’t lock eyes, if she didn’t see his concern filled eyes, then she wouldn’t have to say a thing. But even that didn’t work as she could feel his gaze drilling into her. “It doesn’t matter, really.”

“I don’t believe that. It must matter if you’re this focused on not talking about it.”

Breaking her gaze from a vase at the far end of the room, she met his eyes. Whether to keep her feelings quiet or not no longer matter. If nothing was said, Finn wouldn’t stop bothering her about it in the days to come. But, if she said something, he may never speak to her again. “I...I,” she wrung her hands together, glancing at the rug below. It was now or never, wasn’t it? Taking a deep breath, she started over. “I liked you. I really like you as more than a friend.��� Y/n nodded, agreeing with herself that this is what she wanted to say. “It’s fine if you don’t feel the same, I’ve never expected y-” The sentence was cut off when Finn tugged her arm.

Turning her attention to him, the smile present on his face made her blush even harder. That wasn’t what she was expecting to see. “I like you, too.” A chuckle vibrated his chest as her mouth hung open, unsure of what to say. “When I’m all healed up, perhaps I can take you on a date.”

Finally, Y/n nodded, “Yes, yes, I would love that and I’ll make sure you’re taken care of until then.”

*~~*~~*

Let me know if you would liked to be added to either taglist.

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Peaky Blinders: @simonsbluee

[escapewriter]

part 22 - because of love

LIE AGAIN

pairing : idol!vernon x musician!female reader

word count : 1.3k

warnings : fluff🙂

a/n : i apologize if there are any grammar mistakes. also, im sorry if its bad😞 im not very good writing this way.

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vernon inhaled and exhaled slowly to calm down his beating heart. he knew she was out there, he knew she wasn’t expecting a lot, he knew that she would this he’s crazy for doing this stupid thing, and yet, his racing heart continued to beat into overdrive.

“you ready man?” wonwoo sat beside vernon, dressed and inears all set, “ready as ill ever be.” the two made their way to backstage by the sound equipment where the rest of the boys were. bringing all their hands together, connecting their thumbs, all of their heads turned to seungcheol, expecting a speech of encouragement. “okay, first show of the tour. lets start this off right,” he brought his voice lower so only the huddled group can hear him and not the staff scurrying around them, “wonwoo, vernon, we got your back, no matter what you do, make it up to them,” they looked at each other and smiled, returning their attention back to their leader, nodding their heads. “well then, lets make this memory last a lifetime, lets have each others backs and make carats proud,” seungcheol paused, taking a breathe, “say the name!” “seventeen!” the group unfolded, patting each others backs in hopes of easing the nerves for one another.

“okay! okay! 30 seconds! everyone to your places!”

~

yn and jiyeon sat back in their chair taking a break from all the singing and screaming as a vcr playing on the big screen. yn leaned her head on jiyeon, “they weren’t kidding when they said theyre good,” a laugh erupted from jiyeons chest until it slowly died down. “yn?” her friend hummed, hearing her call her name, “they haven’t been to our side at all, they probably dont know we’re here.” yn lifted her head off her friends shoulder, “oh well, maybe its for the best. the concerts coming close to an end anyway, you wanna leave early so we can avoid traffic? plus im not feeling very well.” jiyeon had a debate in her head and looked at yn, “we can always watch very nice on youtube, lets go.”

~

dino ran down the hallway, speeding towards the dressing room where the rest of his brothers were. he barged in, slouching over with one hand on the doorknob and one on his knee. the boys looked over towards their youngest, worry and confusion written in their eyes. seungcheol walked up to dino and softly gripped his shoulders, pushing him to stand up straight, “what’s wrong?” dino attempted to talk with his heavy breathing, “yn-, jiyeon-, ah, th-they uh, um they, oh my god i cant breathe can i have WATER?”

they brought him to the couch, refreshing him with a bottle of water. after a couple of gulps, he set the water down, “i just saw jiyeon and yn leave their seats.” the boy looked up at his older brothers, mainly in search of the two who wanted them here the most. wonwoo was slouched in the seat, looking down on his lap, vernon was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. seeing the distraught looks on their faces, mingyu immediately went to his phone, texting the two to stay a little longer.

~

“how the hell did they see us leave??” yn laughed a at jiyeon, who was holding her arm, “i guess they knew us so well. maybe we should just wait by the merch area and sit down so we dont have to walk all the way back.” jiyeon nodded her head and they made their way over to a bench and sat down. “how’s your stomach feeling?” yn had her hand over her tummy, softly rubbing it to sooth the pain, “could be better, maybe very nice being played a couple hundred times would make me feel better.”

the crowd began to scream as they heard the booming voice of dk. “MY CARATS, how are you doing tonight so far?” the fans screamed in response as all 13 of the boys smiled out into the crowd. seungcheol then spoke, causing more screams to erupt from the chests of thousands of girls. “well before we hit our final song of the night, theres a special announcement we have to make,” his voice faded as jiyeon and yn were left curious. “jiyeon, lets stand over there so we can try to see what it is.”

the two girls made their way to the curtain where it opens to the big arena. all 13 boys stood in a line while vernon and wonwoo stood in the middle of all of them while their bothers looked at them. the two stepped forward, carats screaming to get their attention. they waved for a bit and finally, vernon spoke, “hi guys, so wonwoo and i have something to confess.” the girls eyes were wide, fear for their soulmates running through their veins, “wonwoo and i found our soulmates. however, in fear of our company forces us apart, we thought we made the right decision by letting them go,” wonwoo stepped closer to vernon, continuing the speech, “obviously, it was a terrible idea because we’re dying inside. we thought it was for the best for us and for them, but nothing can break apart the power of ones soulmate connection.” they took a breath, the rest of their members coming up behind them to support them. vernon brought the mic up to his lips, “theyre here at the concert, or, they were here. she probably didnt know but i saw her, and i really hopes she knows that i saw her, and she looks beautiful,” aww’s broke out in the arena, echoing off the walls, bringing wide smiles onto vernon and wonwoo’s faces, as well as jiyeon’s and yn’s.

wonwoo took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself, “our company, pledis entertainment is one of the only companies who is against the soulmate system. they threaten their idols who find their soulmate, that if they dont break up with their soulmate, then they get kicked out of the company,” he turned to look at vernon, unable to continue and silently asking the younger to help, “the thought of that kinda scared us, which led us to do some impulsive things, but we’re risking it right now because of love.” “man that was cheesy,” laughter erupted at seungkwan’s comment and vernon rolled his eyes.

“anyway, you all know one of our songs on this album called lie again, right?” jiyeon looked at yn, eyes wide as she started jumping excitedly, “dude thats your song.” right on cue, vernon spoke, “that song, i didnt write it, and woozi didn’t either. its really special to me because my soulmate was the one who wrote it. it’s very beautiful and conveys a feeling in which i have felt the whole time i was away from her, so without any more delays, here’s lie again, dedicated to both,” he turned to wonwoo, “jiyeon,” “and yn.” the boys got into their positions as lie again began to play.

the two girls stood there hugging each other in awe, with love and warmth in their hearts. “you know, the song you wrote was perfect for them.” yn nodded her head at jiyeons comment. “you trust wonwoo?” “you trust vernon?” the two stared each other down and laughed, returning their attention back to the performance. they both had conflicted feelings about what happened, because they didnt want to be the cause of vernon or wonwoo doing something that they regret later. however the thought slipped out of their minds after finally making eye contact with their soulmates.

“damn jiyeon, we really are living the harry styles fan fiction right now.”

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[cloveroctobers]

ELLADINE SARABI

IG info/bio: @/ellasardineabi | 18.5k followers | Artist | i was born with glass bones and paper skin♡

25 years old

Born & raised in Cardiff, Wales 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

Father was in the n*vy and moved his family around a few times until he and his wife came to a agreement that it would be best for the family to grow up in one solid place

whereas he would leave for months at a time living elsewhere

Which was hard on the family at times since he is viewed as the rock of the family

He eventually left the n*vy after serving 20 years & was so thankful to, he hated it and how it messed with him mentally

He’s also of Iranian heritage

Her mother is of German heritage

Has her own restaurant that serves authentic German food

Both of her parents instilled hard work, discipline, generosity, and how to be practical in their children

Elladine is the middle child

Has a brother that is ten years older than her and then a younger sister who is seven years behind her

Canon: there is currently a discussion going on if they are going to bring their (maternal) nan/mam-gu home since the nursing home isn’t providing the proper care their nan needs

Her mother has a rocky relationship with her mother that she doesn’t like to discuss with her children but her husband knows all about it

Her nan has Alzheimer's and is becoming violent

it has become difficult seeing her most days

Elladine came into glassblowing after being involved in many classes in secondary such as workshop class

which became her fav since she was able to manipulate many materials such as metal, wood, and glass

She also took a auto body class which was interesting but she wasn’t too thrilled about it. Got away with a B- but knew she could do better if she really wanted to but she didn’t need the class to graduate so allow it

Currently works in a glass studio where her work is displayed/sold and she’s one of the main ones that makes great profit

has bought her own space for her own studio and is slowly making it to her liking with her assistant, yes she’s got one!

Hopes to be in that space within the next 6 months...it would have been a little sooner if we weren’t dealing with a global p*ndemic!!! but ya know life f*cking sucks sometimes!!!1!!:) especially if people don’t gaf

Moved back in with her parents so that she could not only help with her nan but get her studio ready, her parents approved since she was working towards something and realized her talent

I definitely see elladine going through a grunge phase and it probably still slips out every now and then lol

Her childhood room is still in shades of raspberry, gray, and a deep purple

always been plus-sized/fuller than the rest but it’s literally hereditary since her mom is built the same way who got it from her dad

Her family never made her feel ashamed as they shouldn’t and none of her true friends made her feel different since they were all of different sizes!!! besides who’s really friends with someone because of their bodies? Ur really ugly if that’s how u roll js

Always a respectful student and not too afraid to spark up a convo with you but can be a little nervous if the person is more of a “I have to warm up to you first” since she’ll feel like she’s annoying you if she carries the convo at first

Takes her time in relationships because she’s scared of getting hurt, cause breakups are not fun! Especially if theyre your friend on top of that

Although Friendship breakups are much worse let’s be honest here!!!

Has noticed that a few of her exes like to bring up that she’s controlling or too bossy in relationships and that makes her a little insecure since she doesn’t view it that way??

She knows what she wants and likes things a certain way, and she can see how it can kinda come off that way based on how she approaches/says things and tries to be better at toning it down and not being offensive to her significant others

Always has a plan and likes to follow it, she definitely keeps to-do lists on a daily

Takes trips to see Nicky often and vice-versa, every moment they spend together feels like it’s meant to be, even when it’s them just simply chilling in each other’s spaces, he’s truly one of her best friends and he feels like the missing part of her life

He offered for her to move in with him but elladine didn’t accept it since she wanted to be there to help with her nan and in fact—she wanted to be the one to ask HIM to move in with her

but if they make it long enough, they’ll go house hunting together...maybe

I get Shawn/Angela relationship vibes from them (boy meets world for those who aren’t aware of this couple and I’m not just saying this because they’re interracial as well lol) did I say this already about someone else? Brain fart lol

everyone relationship has their flaws so when they hit a bump in the road...elladine immediately wants to fix it but it comes off as more critiquing, moodiness/blaming the other

while Nicky can be defensive/argumentive/a little condescending on his end

To get through it, they normally go on a walk together in complete silence until they’re ready to speak again or they take a break from each other

I think words of affirmation is her love language

Taurus sun + Virgo moon + Capricorn rising?

“The girl on the motorcycle” is one of her fav films — no this is not metaphoric to her love life

Loves watching things with captions on since she always finds herself doing something else while watching anything (which irks Nicky a little bit but that’s just the way elladine is and he loves her so he deals with it)

Will rewind something if she missed it too

Canon: never had morning sex before

but can now say she has ;) & understands the pros people say about it and it outweighs the cons in her book

Will start the whole song over too if she missed her fav part in it

She also enjoys billiards since her brother used to work in a pool hall and when he had to watch her because she was “too young” in her words to stay home by herself he would take her there even tho technically she wasn’t supposed to be there but he was screwing his boss’s daughter so it was quite fine

her sister has a crush on Gary & ships elladine with him, which they joke about every now and then + he doesn’t follow her back, which is okay! Not a big deal but her sister keeps sliding in his dms (he’s now single)

She NEVER thought she would be on THE love island and wasn’t that confident that she’d find a real love that carried on outside of the show but Nicky has proven her wrong 🥲

She’s 5’5–5’6

Probably shops at Zara & top shop and has no issue picking pieces that flatter her “pear” figure, she loves all that is of her body: the pudge, love handles, cellulite and all (she’s very confident and won’t let anyone see her moments of doubt when it comes to her frame)

Loves mythology but will tell bill stfu if he comes near her trying to argue about anything in that subject

Very competitive and will rush through certain things, leaving one to think that she’ll fail somewhere but rarely does

If she’s not near or away from the mountains or the sea for long period of time she gets very moody!!! Guess that’s the Welsh in her huh?

Loves fireplaces, they’re super cozy and very romantic if you catch ella’s drift 😏

Probably smells like jasmine & pink pepper idk

Wants to travel to Iceland one day

Knows her way around a car but dreads having to get it fixed or fixing it herself?

Loves driving until her road rage kicks in? Oh you’re gonna go around her to get in front of her? Never that. She’ll always be in front of you and will break check you if you try her “Drewgi” she mutters

Early riser and goes to bed early too lol

She’s the crying drunk lmao

Automatically vieve has become one of her best friends from the villa but it deff didn’t feel forced like it normally would have just because their bfs have a podcast together, they talk about everything together. EVERYTHING! It feels like she’s the big sister she never had, yet they’re only a year apart lol

They have ft sleepovers and man is it fun!

Forgave lily but at the same time can’t fully see herself being friends with her like vieve tried to encourage before they went on the yacht...sorry everything can’t be Kumbaya over here sis

It sucks to say but it was easier? She doesn’t know if that’s the right term or not... for her to forgive rafi than it was lily and it’s fucked up but that’s the way it is. It’s not like she contacts him on seperate messages or anything like that! She’ll talk to him via group chat and that’s pretty much it. She knows it was all part of the show and production’s bs for ratings but that doesn’t mean it still didn’t hurt

Wishes him success on his shows/movies but doesn’t engage/watch them

What does she post? I feel like she posts maybe three times a month and a lot are outfit pics but tends to go live more so to chat with the people! She’ll also show all what glassblowing entails while chatting away! She loves that part and is pretty open about things but knows how to keep some things private

Personally wasn’t the biggest fan of season 1 but admits she wishes she had mc’s balls in terms of what she would have done if she was in elladine’s place when lily picked Nicky, “ugh! I wish I had her strength rising through my veins in that moment. Absolute riot. Adore her.”

‘“Licky” is a ugly ass ship name anyways so who’s really winning here?!’

Celeb crushes? Iwan Rheon, Henry Zaga, Anthony Welsh, jason derulo, & LaRoyce Hawkins

Listens to: soleima, Marisa Maino, Ava Max, poppy, Caroline polachek, Donny Hathaway, Phil Good, & SAINt JHN

Anthem — M.I.A. “Bad Girls”

[crushedsweets]

I am so curious as to what you'd think about Nina and Hoodie as a duo. They've been two of my absolute favorites (even if Brian technically isn't even a creepypasta) since I was younger and I've always loved them as a sort of big brother/little sister pairing. They are so siblings to me I adore them. What are your thoughts on the sillies..

OHHH this is actually super interesting... but also im worried i do not have a lot to say because they won't mesh very well/very much. but i will try. not super realistic headcanons i think but what do i know... <3

brian isnt very present in my story, partially bc ik some mh fans dont like the crossover very much. and by time ninas in the story, i want him+tim to kinda separate from slenderman as toby and kate take over. he's still involved and coming around since he gets horrible slender sickness(but its from the operator) if he's away too long, but he doesn't live near or befriend most of the main cast..

nina is very present in my story because i love her and she is such a good and fun representation of the fandom yk. but brian is much more realistic and late 30s man, while nina is a very cartoonish early 20s girl. theyre on very different fields character and life wise...

BUUUUUUUUUT they would still meet of course.

she'd be bubbling around the entire cast, meeting people through jeff. people initially think she's in the same vein as jeff, natalie, and toby, with a LONG list of blood on their hands influenced by the operator, so they just don't think much about it. theyre mostly surprised by how cheery she is, but the proxies are the first to find out she's just... obsessed with jeff..... so thats very off putting. brian isn't fond of it.

nina would develop some light slender sickness(again, from the operator) just by being around jeff all the time, but the operator never infected her because he didn't see her as a worthy vessel. so, she would have to come to the proxies about it. if toby isnt in the mood or busy, she'd just have to hope brian/tim are around with some pills that'll soothe the pain

brian is more likely to help. with nina, he'd be quick to take on a more protective role, trying to console her as she cries on the couch holding her head whining about static.

initial convos would go smth along the lines of "do you want some coffee ? or uh kids like hot chocolate huh... maybe tea" "i'm literally in my 20s please tell me toby has weed somewhere" "that does not help with this pain i promise" "how would you know" "haha. water it is."

brian was a major stoner back in his early 20s and nina thinks its fucking hilarious. . . she'll try to get him to smoke with her but he's rlly not interested LOLLLL.... hes like 15 yrs older than her he thinks its weird .

again, he's not around a lot, but she's always happy to bump into him. she'd be squealing n shit 'HIII BRIANNNN how r u :3' and he'd just be like :) hey nina. and then never answer the 'how r u' bc he doesnt actually wanna sit and talk .

its a good change of pace. he's been through hell and back for well over a decade by this point, everyone around him is a sad sack of shit, and he spent a long time just. fighting to be an optimistic, cool guy to hang around . . but .... like.... um..... its hard to be that kind of person after all he's been thru. something about nina just forces that sort of like..... glee out of him . its not a huge difference where he's suddenly bouncing and giggling and whatever, he's still just Some Guy. but he'll be like :) lol .

mayhaps he'd catch her trying on toby's goggles and he'd offer to let her try on his mask. but nina would fake gag and be like 'no i dont want that dirty musty nasty sack on my head' and he'd be like ?????. then he'd say she can wash it and then try it on. which.. as an older sibling.... is the type of shit i'd do just to get my sister to do smth for me that i dont wanna do LMFAOOO. she might fall for it just cuz my dear nina is the ultimate fangirl

i dunno i kinda struggled with this one just cuz in my au, they wouldnt be all that close and the Type of characters they are don't mesh very well, but i am super fond of the concept and would love to try expanding on it more

[boojersey]

VIC DO ALL THE ASKS BC I LOVE U AND WANT U TO HAVE FUN

*SWEATS* AYE AYE CAPN

cw for like some common lgbt+ topics such as dysphoria violence discrimination etc just. tread carefully if u get triggered easily by bad lgbt experiences

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns? -im a gay trans man and my pronouns are he/him but they/them is also acceptable!

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?-oh wow i originally thought i was a lesbian because i didnt even know what transgender was i just thought wishing i was a man meant i was butch and then i met my friend donnie in eighth grade who told me he was trans and it was kinda a huge slap in the face but with a sack of gay bricks? and i found out i dont like women through actually having sex with cis women and finally realizing it. really wasnt for me so now im just a gay man as opposed to queer as an umbrella term but i periodically refer to myself as such

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?-oh yea i literally was misgendered today i just kinda brush it off but it can be hard sometimes especially when people know im trans and do it

Who was the first person you told, how did they react?-i first told donnie about my gender, it was a thing where i went to bed the night i met him and was like  .. wait holy fuck and then the next day i was like BRO HOLY FUCK but sexuality? i dont really know???? it was so long ago it was honestly probably my group of friends on kik that i had in 2013 (u were included in that mister!!!!)

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?-im not actually fully out but the first time someone who was an adult knew about my trans-ness was what really set in for me the fact that i could come out one day; my friends mom referred to me as seance (and like. obviously she respected my gender she has a trans kid) but it was just super jarring bc no adult had known yet abt my identity in any way and as a result i was rlly glad it was nighttime in that car bc i cried almost immediately; the first time i came out on my Own was to my cousin and he laughed in my face so that was pretty damn awful and its kinda funny cuz the bastard is bi so u would think hed have been accepting but n0pe!

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react?-im out to my friends now ! and the reception was generally positive bc i think i do an ok job at picking ppl to be around in terms of morals so there was little bad reception

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?-i hate when ppl ask if im gay as in for men or gay as in for women because im trans, i am a man so when i say im gay i feel like that should be easy enough to put 2 and 2 together but when they ask that i feel as if they still view me as a woman

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.-emo of the gods themselves it is absolute scene and emo vomit and i love it; its seriously hard for me to wear dresses and skirts without dysphoria and just general discomfort but i own a couple anyway bc theyre cute i just. never wear them

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?-my main thing at the moment is gerard/frank/grant morrison bc i love poly fics very dearly and gerard/bert because bert mccracken deserved better than gerawrds internalized homophobia lol

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?-makeup to me is an androgynous thing so i wear eyeshadow a lot and lipstick sometimes, eyeshadow is easier on my eyes than eyeliner bc im allergic to a lot of makeup thats on the heavier side so if i put on eyeliner my eyes will water and burn throughout the day but with eyeshadow im mostly ok; other opinion is that makeup on Anyone can be sexy as hell if they do it for fun and wear literally what they truly want and not just what they think is accepted or what they Should wear

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?-oh yeah my dysphoria is pretty debilitating if im gonna be honest; i used to have very little problems with it because my hold on reality was loose at best (before i was medicated to clarify) but now that i am almost completely Here my dysphoria is pretty bad and even just like. the knowledge that i have breasts is pretty awful; a few weeks ago i put on an outfit that i have to wear a victorias secret bra to fit properly in and just one look in the mirror had me sobbing and i had to change my clothes before i could leave the house and i havent worn a bra since because just the thought of showing off my chest makes this stark fuckin dread shoot through my veins but i also have dysphoria in regards to my voice that i discussed at my last trans therapy group meeting actually ; my voice has a tendency to bounce around my octave range so sometimes ill be like. excited then hear what i sound like. and ruin it for myself immediately u kno? im not even gonna talk about my dicksphoria bc thats just. awful. 

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?-ohhhhhhhh my god u know what? ive heard..so much .. that im gonna instead take this opportunity to mention my mother genuinely thinks dnd is satanic

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-the fact that were so strong. we are so fucking strong we deal with violence and opposition constantly and at staggering rates yet we stay strong and we continue loving through all of it, whether its in dark corners in secret or loudly in the streets we continue loving and do so with all of our beings because we know its our own truth and well gladly go to hell if it means we got to love on earth (not that everyone believes in hell or the idea that us gays go to hell but my point stands)

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-we have this audacity to create divide (to the fault of mostly cis white gay men thank u very much) when what we need to do is love each other because we are different but at the end of the day we all need to remain in tandem and as a family or we will never get to where we need to in terms of acceptance and that means being uplifting and protecting our trans sisters of color, our disabled lgbt members, our autistic lgbt members, our anything past cis white gay man because we all need recognition, we all need love, and to exclude any letters of lgbt is to tear ourselves down and set ourselves on fire

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?-no :((( no one would drive me in the past and i dont think ill have a way to get there this year either

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity?-brian molko! my bisexual, androgynistically-inclined father who birthed me at the tender age of 16 when i found placebo

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?-ya theres been a few and i dont rlly like to talk abt my relationships with anyone unless theyre online relationships so im just gonna leave it at that

What is your favourite lgbt+ book?-pantomime by laura lam! its one of if not my favorite book to this day

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?-y a every damn day bitch ! example is when i was deadnamed by my psychiatrist while she knows full well what my name is the other day; another is the countless times i get called a lesbian ???? and when strict lesbians ask me out i get a very bad taste in my mouth (i understand full well that sexuality is fluid, these are lesbians that spit the ‘penis is gross blegh’ rhetoric)

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?-uh im just gonna say preacher bc its my favorite show altogether n cass is bi/pan/something similar

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?-@ble3dmagic is my boyfriend in crime (not rlly thats a joke) and @musicalsense​ is my sunburnt Brother

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?-queer! i also use f*ggot a lot when talking about myself and my friends that are ok with it

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?-i went to a drag show and it was so amazing and one of the first times i felt accepted in my own community that i cried

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?-well i identify as a man with no leaning towards womanhood or nonbinaryhood in any way, its just . man . but in terms of Expression i am quite androgynous bc i can rlly appreciate femininity (NOT the same as womanhood) and being a man to me means just that ive always wanted to grow up with that “gender role” like i always wish i was raised as a stereotypical parent would raise a son and ive always been more interested in stereotypically masculine things and people since i can even remember and i feel like puberty was just this unpreventable spiral into something i didnt want. i didnt want it at all . this is tmi but when i got my first period i cried my eyes out bc the idea of being called a Woman repulsed me so much and since i didnt even know that being trans was a concept i was just this scared puppy full of confusion and fear aimed at myself because all the stuff i heard i was supposed to be proud of the change but i wasnt i was so ashamed of it and the idea of being called a woman made me sick to my stomach and i just wish i could go back in time and hold myself and tell me itll be alright 

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?-absoLutely not i hate kids (and by that i mean i hate being around them and the culture that surrounds having children; i do not treat kids like shit and i do not act like hating children is a personality trait; i get migraines and usually the second a child starts screaming or crying i am on the floor of my brain writhing in dire pain and i have absolutely no desire to support another human life when frankly i cant even support myself; its also just not a lifestyle i want to live)

What identity advice would you give your younger self?-god so fucking much. so fucking much. so many things i wish i could say to myself

What do you think of gender roles in relationships?-i think if someone wants to adhere to them then hell yea go ahead just dont expect others to do it or try to tell other people its a Norm or something; theyre for the most part christian in nature so i dont have any desire to follow them myself, i want a relationship (if any) thats more of a coexistence if that makes sense, like. roommates plus dick

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?-i always used to anxiously chew on the idea that my chest dysphoria is just me holding disdain for the shape and size of my breasts but let me tell you. the second i put on my binder for the first time i immediately started crying because i was so overwhelmed by the fact that i was looking at something one step closer to myself and i know full well i am never going to have that doubt again. this week has been exponentially cathartic and therapeutic for me

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?-i want the cisheteros to know that nothing they learn about us is new. everything about us has been around for so so long but has been silenced and erased to the point where a lot of us dont even know many things about our rich and beautiful history

Why are proud to be lgbt+?-honestly? its hard for me to not just straight up say im not proud of my identity. its taken me years to stamp down the plain grieving toward my identity and wishing i could have the easier path but frankly? the fact that i am choosing this path of hardship and hell on earth just to be who i truly am i think speaks volumes of my pride in my identity at this point; further back in my archive by a few years my posts are littered with sentiments of bitterness wherein i stated that i hate being trans and not just cis but i like to think ive finished hating myself for my identity. i like to think im proud now. to ask me why is to ask too much of me, all i know now is that i am proud and thats enough for me right now.

[ohailyn]

❝ Half of me, for growth; the other, for decay. ❞ ANTOINETTE ROBERTSON? No, that’s actually AILYN WILKES. A SEVENTH YEAR student, this SLYTHERIN student is sided with THE NEUTRALS. SHE/HER identifies as A CIS WOMAN and is a PUREBLOOD who is known to be INDIFFERENT, HAUGHTY, and SECRETIVE but also ADAPTABLE, INTELLECTUAL, and AMBITIOUS.

LINKS: stats, pinboard, character tag. CHARACTER PARALLELS: elle woods (legally blonde), cersei lannister (asoiaf), michaela pratt (how to get away with murder), sun bak (sense8) HELLO this is my babe ailyn, a pink mess of iconicness and confusing morals!!! just a heads up that this intro will contain mentions of abuse (spousal and child) and alcoholism

history

ailyn’s youth was filled with lies. her parents were skilled liars, pretenders, people who bended the truth because the truth was something nasty. her father said his business was booming, while unpaid bills kept piling up, and he kept reassuring them with alcohol on his breath and an unshaved face, that nothing was wrong, that he was fixing it all. when ailyn turned ten, he had gone bankrupt and visited the pub every day, rather than his job, and when his mother kissed him on the cheek every morning and told her kids that she loved him, she was lying, too. she smelled of others when she came home, and she was having not one, but two affairs.

and so ailyn learned that truth is a relative thing, something to bend to your own will. she learned it from her parents and continued it when she went to hogwarts, where she spoke of her father’s wonderful business and her parents happy marriage as if it was nothing but truth. she learned off their secrets before she left (and they weren’t that hard to figure out, in all truth, if you looked well — all it took was following her dad to work one day and bursting in her mother’s bedroom out of nowhere) and kept them, but added in some aspects of her own. lies became ailyn’s language at hogwarts, and she fed them to those around her with smiles.

besides, her family was doing a good fucking job at keeping the truth quiet: her maternal grandparents supplied enough money for them to continue living in their home, to afford the bare necessities, to make sure that ailyn and her brother would not show up at hogwarts looking like the poor kids they were without their grandparents. gotta love that classicism! :)

born into a family with a history of supporting voldemort, ailyn was raised with purist beliefs. her paternal grandfather died in the crossfire of the first wizarding war and his legacy runs through the veins of her father. her father, who committed purist crimes in order to steal money or things of worth, even after voldemort’s end, her father, who told her how his father was supposed to still be alive and ream the rewards of his hard work, who clung to purist ideals so desperately, that it seemed to be the only thing to keep him afloat. she believed them, for a long time, as they gave her a chance to put herself on a pedestal, and she craved that, when she was younger.

she has shed them at this point, though she doesn’t bother to speak out against it. it’s just that she’s not a very good witch – she’s smart, don’t get me wrong, incredibly intelligent, but simply not good at waving wands and muttering spells – which has put things in perspective a little. being into history and being a realist in her core has also made ailyn look at the topic of blood purity more seriously, and once she was able to think more critically and was no longer constantly surrounded by her parents, she understood how stupid purism is. it’s just illogical, based on #fakefacts and a wish to be better for no other reason than a surname ( i literally talk about this again later on so LMAO )

her younger brother does however stick with blood purity, looks up to his father, is disillusioned and blind and excited and a child, still, but a cruel one in the making. ailyn fears for him. worries about him. tries to guide him but sees no effects.

anyway, her father joined the death eaters, despite him being a bit of an … embarrassment. he used his power as a death eater to steal money and get some of that money that they’d lost because of him, not bettering his reputation among other death eaters, but regaining some of his pride as he relied less on his parents in law for money. ( though, in honesty, most of the money he stole was blown on alcohol, new suits and gambling )

[ abuse, alcoholism tw ailyn’s dad was furious at his wife, at the world, at himself. he hated that he relied on his parents-in-law for money, hated that it was his fault, hated that his wife was fucking everyone but him. he drank too much, lashed out at his wife when intoxicated, both verbally and physically. his anger turned to his kids at times, too, but was mostly aimed at his wife. ailyn despises him. deeply. end of tw’s ]

going to hogwarts was good. ailyn got to get away from home, and surround herself with others, with people who came from different places, who weren’t stuck in purist beliefs. ailyn was sorted into slytherin, for her cunning and ambition. a booksmart kid, she found herself more interested in the library and all it offered than what her classes tried to teach her. besides, ailyn found out pretty soon that she was rather bad at practical magic; she was soon behind in charms, transfiguration and DADA. she wondered if something was wrong with her wand, for a moment, wondered what was causing her to perform so poorly.

it was during these realisations, during her time away from home, that she started to step away from the purist idealisation she’d been raised with. she’d never subscribed to them much, to start with, but she hadn’t distanced herself from them, either. being away from home, surrounding herself with muggleborns, halfbloods and ‘blood traitors’, as well as her whole journey with … being rather shit at magic made her realise how fucking stupid it was

doesn’t fully share her feelings at all times, though, out of self preservation. besides, she’s not out here to fight for muggleborn rights either — she thinks the war is bullshit, frankly, but she’s also self serving as fuck, and will not do anything to endanger herself. she’s very true neutral, in that sense? can fairly judge situations, but is good at sitting back even if she disapproves. will start debates on blood purity, but isnt about to fight a war over it, on either side.

history soon became her favourite subject. ailyn found herself staying up late in the common room, learning about muggle history, but also delving into obscure parts of magical history, wanting to know more more more about the ways humans changed the course of the world, how cruel and kind people could be all at once. she’s very intrigued by what drives people, which is ironic, as not much drives ailyn morally LMAO.

this is where her ambition lies, where her strengths lie. ailyn wants to work under a historian, learn about how to write about history – because it’s happening all around her – how to interpret it, how to connect the dots. she’d love to intern under bathilda bagshot, or someone similar. she’s such a NERD.

her relationship with her family has become strained. ailyn hates her father, and despises her mother. her brother is a different story — there’s more love there, i suppose, a healthy relationship, but they disagree on many things. he wants to join the ranks of the death eaters once he’s old enough, whereas she’s been lucky enough not to be considered due to her lack of skill (in the eyes of both her father and the death eaters in general) and is glad of it.

ailyn is cordial with her family. she doesn’t want to deal with the consequences of turning her back on them but also doesnt want to participate in the large amount of lies that already surround their family. she’s not in the mood to be labeled a blood traitor or anything. she may not believe in purism but she’s not a good person --- she’s indifferent and apathetic and cares about herself and a handful of people, and so she will keep her opinions carefully locked up while making the world her own.

she mostly just wants to graduate, start studying to become a historian and move the fuck away lmao. a new start, with new chances and a whole new world for her to conquer. she’s Tired tm of the death eaters, as theyre just a product of another white man’s idiocy, like so many negative things in the world --- she’s got no energy for it.

personality and tidbits

ailyn is a true neutral, powder pink lipstick lesbian who will drag your ass through the mud while speaking to you sweetly with a :) smile :). she has a mean streak and her nature isnt necessarily malicious but she can be when she chooses to. this streak most often shows itself in front of people that ailyn thinks lesser of/people that annoy her. there’s a lot of those

she’s just ... tired. tired of humanity and all the people around her and the ruckus theyre causing. ailyn just wants people to Chill Out and use their heads in stead of whatever’s motivating them ( their genitals, hearts, stomachs, whatever ). she feels very ... Genius LMAO because she’s such a realist and she thinks she has the world all figured out when, obviously, she doesnt.

ailyn is very sure of herself, incredibly confident --- sometimes too confident ( though she’s of the opinion that girls can never be to confident ) and in turn she can be condescending and haughty. she’s self aware, though, about most things. she knows where her strengths and weaknesses lie and has made peace with it, even knows that she’s arrogant and harsh, but doesn’t care much.

a gamp on her mother’s side and cousin to gemma!

ailyn is hyperfeminine, believes in lethal femininity and the colour pink. very much elle woods in that sense --- she loves fashion and make up and velvet high heels and looking good, but has a ready mind that she’ll apply to reach her goals at any given moment in time. will Not be underestimated because she’s girly. a firm believer in the matriarchy. lover of womanhood. 

she also ... just thinks lowly of men a lot. like --- her dad’s a deadbeat idiot alcoholic broke dude and he Sucks, and then there’s people like grindelwald and voldemort and a long string of ministers, prime ministers and presidents that just proof that men shouldnt be in power to her LMAO. her interest in history is mostly just ailyn sighing at the deeds of men and how they continue to disappoint her.

would love to enter the ministry one day and be a politician, but for now her focus lies on becoming a historian, as that seems like a logical first step. also, the ministry is a mess at the moment that ailyn doesnt want to be a part of LMSFKJHSD.

loyal to first and foremost herself, a true self-serving queen. though, if she is your friend, you do have a loyal person on your side who will be ride or die. will kill for you. will bury a body with you.

absolutely adores mythology especially because most stories prove that men ain’t shit and because there’s iconic characters like medusa and athena and persephone and many more

medusa is ... in general a character that ailyn very much loves and is intrigued by --- a hurt woman, mistreated and abuse because of her gender and nothing more, turned into someone who could protect herself, only to be labeled a monster and murdered ... she’s endlessly angry and intrigued.

captain of the history club!! she loves history sm :( come geek out w her

also a member of the debate club!! while she shies away from speaking on purism, she does have a lot of vocal opinions on sexism/queerphobia/racism/etc and is very knowledgeable on political topics!!!

always tired of everyone and everything

loves rose & vodka. 

[dornishsphinx]

Steps on the Bifrost

Merry Nagamas @andthenalittledash--here’s your @nagamas gift! Can I just say—thank you so much for mentioning you like Laslow/Azura, because it is one of my favourite Fates ships and you gave me the excuse to finally sit down and write about them! (This also got a lot longer than I expected it to, haha.) 

[AO3 Link]

The Nohrian army advances along the path to a hollow victory, and even those who know there is a greater enemy left unchallenged cannot help but by swept along by the tides of war, and the circumstances chosen for them. 

Anankos had barely stopped toying with Takumi’s shell when she fled the throne room, great slashes of sapphire already beginning to rip their way up her arms and crawl their way across her face. She should have realised that her beloved would follow her, but some part of her, deep and cold and chosen second too many times before, had presumed he’d stay at his lord’s side. It would have been a cruel parting to be sure, but no matter the hours she’d agonised over the comfort or kiss she might have given him, she still had not the words to say goodbye. 

Even so, it was his arms she found herself in when she toppled over, exhausted; a mockery of a dip, like this was just another evening of dance practice. His clothes soaked through where her body touched his, and when she peered up at him through eyes half-shut in pain, she saw that his face was horror-struck.

“Hey. Smile for me, won’t you?” she asked, before he could demand an explanation. Her own smile was bright as she could make it. “That’s what you always ask of me, isn’t it?”

His face was still desperate as he balanced her with one arm and started rummaging through his pockets like his life depended on it. Medicines were useless in the case of curses, as she’d been told when she was a child and had asked why she couldn’t let the water dance in a constant rhythm, but Azura couldn’t find the energy within her to make him stop, nor the heart.

“Smile for me. Please,” she said, with gentle insistence.

Inigo smiled, though his eyes were glimmering and it was clearly forced. A lot of his smiles were, and she mourned that she wouldn’t see a real one before it was all over, but it was better than nothing.

“That’s right. Lovely.”

***

“Did you ever think about what you’d name your children?”

The copse of trees muffled the sounds of camp around them, creating the illusion they were, if not alone, cut off from everyone else. Laslow paused, still bent over with the laces of his dancing slipper only half-tied.

“I never really considered such a thing,” he said. He finished the knot, flexed his feet, and, satisfied, straightened back up. “Though I suppose…”

He considered, for a long moment.

“Soleil.”

“Soleil?” The name was unfamiliar to her. “It’s pretty, but why that name?”

Laslow stood. He moved his right foot behind him and let his whole body lean back onto it, stretching his arms out to the sides and up, in a wide, circular arc. His hands, palms upwards, halted level with his head.

“The soleil is a movement from a certain school of dance back home.” He remained in the position for a moment longer before letting his arms drop and stepping back into a normal stance. “It symbolises being bathed in sunlight, or just the sun in general. I’ve always liked it.”  

Back home, again, with no name. The urge to ask him where his home was grabbed at her yet again, stronger this time, but she stopped herself. He couldn���t tell her about this mysterious back home, just as she couldn’t tell him about Valla, be it of old or be it of the ruin beneath their feet.

“It’s always a pleasure to see the sun rise again, after all. How about you?”

Azura ignored all the old family names that occurred to her and chose another: “Shigure.” It had always struck her as a good name.

“Shigure?”

She smiled. “A light shower of rain.”

“My, it seems we truly are fated. What do you say to Rainbow for our third?”

Even as she joined him in laughter, she couldn’t help but recall that there was a Vallite name that would have been perfect for such a theme: Iris, after one of Valla’s first queens.

“What’s with the sudden curiosity?” he asked. “Interested in starting a family?”

She sent him a coy smile. Laslow’s cheeks burnt red and he averted his gaze, but then a wistful look came over him.

“You know,” he said, voice melancholy, “I lost my true family when I was a child. I was able to find something resembling it, but it’s not the same.” His face, if still a little embarrassed, was soft when he looked back over at her. “It would be nice, to create one together.”

She considered telling him she’d lost her family too, but given that he was retainer to a man who called himself her brother, that path would have led to nothing but more questions she couldn’t answer.

“I never really felt as though I belonged with the Nohrians, nor the Hoshidans,” she said instead. It was a poor substitute, but true enough, in its own way. “Not like Corrin does. Having a family together would be nice, I think.”

Laslow smiled; she couldn’t help returning it. It fell off his face, though, and an odd expression replaced it.

“Did I ever tell you that I come from somewhere far away? Very far.” He hesitated, clearly formulating what he was going to say next carefully. “If I were to go back, I would never be able to return. Would you—would you want to go with me?”

It was an unexpected question; the surprise must have shown on her face, because his blush spread even further over his cheeks and he stammered as he quickly rushed to explain himself.

“You don’t have to, of course—it’s just that, since you told me you don’t really feel like you fit in Nohr and Hoshido, perhaps we could make a fresh start? You, me, however many Soleils or Shigures or Rainbows we’ll have. We could visit my parents—my other parents—they’d be there too, and I’m so sure you’d like them.”

The look on his face was so tentative that her heart ached. For a moment, she fantasised about what it could have been like in a world where she might have made the same offer—offered even more than he could. But becoming royalty of Valla, that ruin with little chance of restoration, was more a curse than anything else now.

The wind rippled through the trees.

“That sounds lovely,” she said.

Laslow breathed out beside her, but before he could speak again she started to hum an old Vallite tune all the talk of the weather had reminded her of; it had once been a thanksgiving to Anankos, so she skipped over the verses of praise and onto how the dragon’s tears had first met with the fires of creation to forge the first bridge to the world above. (The existence of Valla was implicit, something so fundamentally understood mentioning it by name was unnecessary; it was just here.)

Laslow began to sway with the rhythm, and a few bars in, he began to dance.

***

Azura had never been close to her Nohrian family, in the literal as well as metaphorical sense. As the campaign wore on, however, that which Azura had always believed, but hoped was inaccurate—that the Hoshidans had little regard for her either—became a certainty. Kindness, likely performed on Queen Mikoto’s behalf and out of some sense of charity, was not closeness. It helped to think that way anyway, now that she was fighting on the side that had killed Takumi and were likely to slay the others too.

Still, if there had been a distance with Queen Mikoto’s own children, the average Hoshidan soldier cared even less for her wellbeing; she was nothing but another Nohrian now that Corrin had defected, as had been made clear to her when they’d torn her from the castle at Shirasagi and tried leaving her corpse at Fort Dragonfall as a message. (They were the same in theory, the two of them, hostages to the light and the dark, but it was always going to be Corrin’s choices that mattered, not hers.)

The lance fighters bearing down on her, venom in their eyes and curses on their lips, were not the first Hoshidans to try and rip her apart, but it was looking more and more certain they’d be the last. She considered, briefly, sapping their will to fight through song. There may have been no time left to stop the momentum of their thrusts, even if she were to relax their hearts enough to stop beating, and it might have been yet another waste of the pendant’s power, but still, even knowing it was of no use, she curled around herself and the stone on her chest, and would have begun to sing—

But there was a thicket, now. She looked on in confusion, slowly unfolding out of her defensive stance. The branches twisted around the soldiers like tentacles of some great octopus. They shouted and struggled as it devoured them, tangled in the thorns.

“They’re going to get out,” said Laslow, behind her. She turned. His hands were rooted in the earth and his voice was urgent and low. “It won’t hold them much longer.”

She stared at him; she couldn’t help it. His eyes were downcast, his hands and body trembling, as though he was unused to using the veins. It had truly been a secret then, from everybody, not just from her.

She turned, in a daze, and with a swipe of her lance, the skirmish was over. (Corrin would likely not approve, but Corrin didn’t know what it was Jakob did in the aftermath of battle, nor that Laslow had the dragon’s blood, nor the true depth of Xander’s emotions, nor the woman her mother had truly been. This would be one thread of a wide web of secrets and lies and deceptions; nothing, really.)

Laslow gasped and let go. The thicket receded, slowly and at an ambling pace, like it was an animal that had lost interest in the humans playing with it. She moved to kneel beside him, the movement half a stumble in the rush to get over to him. She snatched up his right hand with her own red-stained ones. There was dirt under his fingernails—he hadn’t taken care when he’d plunged them into the ground, it seemed—and even now, his arms were shaking. He gently touched her face with his other hand, its faint tremors all the more obvious when they were against her skin. Their eyes met for a long moment.

“They were going to kill you,” he said, the response to an unasked question.

They looked at one another for a moment longer before she kissed him, fleeting but without haste, and left the matter at that, helping one another to their feet and moving onward to the rest of the enemies they’d been tasked with eliminating. She wasn’t one to pry. She’d have been the worst kind of hypocrite if she was.

Still, when the battle was done, after they’d both remained silent on the subject of Hoshidan combatants found dead with deep scratches all over their corpses and they lay tangled together themselves, Laslow asleep, she lay awake with thoughts darting around her head like shoals of fish, this way and that. Her eyes idly tracked the veins which ran blue down his wrists and into his freshly-scrubbed hands.

A dozen thoughts had occurred to her, though only one had stayed lodged in her mind all this time; the first, in fact, that had sprung to mind when she’d seen his hands buried in the soil.

He’d once told her that he wasn’t supposed to exist in her world, though he couldn’t tell her why he came to be there, or how. She’d told him she understood, and she indeed had done, since she was under a similar obligation.

Maybe—

She touched his wrist lightly, just over the blue veins, and felt him come awake.

***

Once, when she had been the most wretched child among dozens of wretched children imprisoned within the circular walls of the royal keep at Windmire, Azura had experienced the most curious dream. Figures dressed in Vallite robes of the purest white had crowded around her in a version of Valla that no longer existed, each and every one vowing, with all the zeal of a holy mission, to ensure her happiness. They had enveloped her with such kindness and good cheer that when she awoke, her chest had felt light for the first time in months.

Beneath the open sky in a world at war, it had been a surprise to experience the dream once again: she was older now, after all, and had thought herself to have shrugged off the childish need for false comfort. The old figures had appeared before her tiny form once more—she’d still been a child in this new dream; it had felt natural in the way everything in dreams comes naturally—and a man, young and handsome, had kissed her on the forehead and promised a lifetime of smiles before sweeping her into one of the dances she’d been taught before the devastation, the traditional choral accompaniment that could not possibly exist in a reality where there were barely enough uncorrupted Vallites to form a duet soaring so clear and strong that her dream-self knew they could hear it in the world above.

What she had shivered at in daylight, even as it had felt natural in the dream in the way everything in dreams feels natural, was that the figures surrounding them were as distant and illusory as the soldiers that haunted Valla’s remnants, and the song to which they’d danced had included those verses she had suppressed in her memory, praise of the great Anankos echoing all around them over and over and over.

***

“I’ve taken stranger leaps of faith,” was Laslow’s only response.

She held his hand in her own, her fingers entwined with his. The water was hers to command, for however much longer she had; it would have taken and protected Laslow quite ably had she asked it, but she knew her touch would soothe any fears of drowning he might have had.

She pulled them through the water easily. At first, they were boneless as turtles gliding along a jet stream, but then she pulled them through faster, and faster, until they were darting down and down with such speed and grace that she imagined a current in their wake.

When they emerged the other end, falling out of the water in the same manner one might have fallen into it in the world above, she took Laslow into her arms and stayed with him in the air for a few breaths longer than necessary; a moment of self-indulgence, the water holding them up there to hover with all the rubble of Valla like a pair of courting dragonflies. She then let the water slowly start to disperse, the two of them floating down to the ground as a bubble does, landing elegantly together on their feet.

It was an unnecessary use of the pendant’s power, of course. Still, she’d used it so many times now, for Nohr and for Hoshido and for Corrin; if it was too late for her to aid in the fight against Anankos, if that fight would ever come, what was a moment of unleashing the pendant’s magic for herself, to will the water to dance around them and see how it would turn her beloved’s face into something akin to a dazed mortal gazing upon her like an oceanic goddess, a creature of power and majesty?

Besides, those priestesses who’d lectured her about restraint were all dead, Anankos’ puppets, or both. What did they know?

“You make the water dance almost as beautifully as you,” said Laslow. There was a slight stagger to his movements, and he leant back against one of the few pieces of stonework still anchored to the ground.

“None dance as finely as you but the water, love,” she said, smile transforming into a full grin, the ecstasy of the power and the water obeying her making her feel buoyant. “I just thought to give you a suitable accompaniment.”

“So, you were the Nestrian dancer, then,” he said. “I thought it might be. The way she moved, the steps she used, they were too familiar.”

“You’re not going to turn me in for the assassination attempt of our king, then?”

Perhaps it was the power still coursing through her, or perhaps it was because she knew Laslow, and knew who he’d pick between that dastard and herself, but she stared at him, unflinching.

“It was dangerous. If they’d found you—”

“Nobody guessed it was me,” she said. “None but you have the same eye for footwork, it seems. Not even my hair gave the game away. I did consider a wig, but there was no time to find one, and I thought it would be fine as is.”

Gods, but it felt good to talk without second-guessing every word.

Laslow still looked concerned, so she changed topic. “This is Valla,” she said to someone else for the first time in years. “This is my home. This is where I grew up. This is the kingdom Anankos destroyed.”

“So, you are a Vallite, after all. That’s why you’ve not been able to talk freely.”

“Is it why you haven’t been able to talk freely?”

Laslow hesitated before nodding. “Yes. I’ve known of it for years, though I’m not a Vallite myself.” A wave of disappointment hit Azura, but she weathered it. Laslow was still hers, no matter from whence he came. Besides, that he knew of Valla at all, that they’d shared this knowledge and curse together, was more than she could have ever hoped.

“How can you use dragon veins?”

She would have begged the gods he’d not mention Anankos’ name, but she’d never taken any god but the Silent Dragon, and he was now the enemy.

“Anankos gave us his blood.”

Rage bit into her heart. So, he was with Anankos. After all that had happened, after knowing she would never face him herself and make him answer for what he’d done, he’d managed to steal something else; her family, her home, and her lover, all warped.

“Anankos,” she said. It came out in a hiss, the sibilance continuing on a moment too long, serpentine.

Laslow reached out to touch her, but stopped short when she straightened and fixed him with a righteous glare.

“Anankos killed my father, you know. They were friends, once, but then he went mad and killed him. He turned the Vallites into these things. He turned Valla into this. And still, you’ve taken his side?” She thrust an arm out; the water moved with her. “You’ve taken his side?”

Laslow wouldn’t meet her eyes, no matter how she tried to capture them.

“My mother and father were killed by a dragon too,” he said. His voice was slow, and quiet. “He wasn’t mad, I don’t think, but I don’t know why else he did what he did. He ravaged the land, killed everyone he came across. He killed my mother and father, though they were friends with him once as well, or at least with the man he was. The greatest of friends. Anankos gave them the graves we couldn’t. And he let the flowers grow in that world once again.”

One tear, then another rolled down Laslow’s cheeks. Azura thought about wiping them away, but before she could move, he’d already dashed them away himself.

“It’s not the mad dragon we’re working for,” he said, voice steadier now. He finally met her gaze. “It was the remnants of his sanity we met. He gave us his blood, and we were to find and protect his daughter in Hoshido, though in the end, she’d been taken to Nohr.”

He paused.

“And we never found…”

He stopped.

“You found her,” said Azura. Somehow, she couldn’t bring herself to be surprised.

Her anger had subsided, somewhat, his tears and tale of woe dampening it into faintly-crackling embers, but years of bitter resentment and enmity for all those who would traffic with the god who had made her an exile were hard to wash away. She lapsed into silence, and stared out across the lake.

“There’s something you should know, if you hate Anankos so,” said Laslow. “Laslow is the name he gave me; it was something of an entry fee into this world.”

“Then what is your true name?”

“Inigo,” he said. He almost seemed shy, a faint blush coming over his features. Inigo. Somehow it fit him far more nicely than Laslow ever had.

“Inigo,” she said, trying it out on her tongue. “Inigo. A lovely name.”

Inigo smiled, but then a shadow crossed over his face. “There’s a way to get down here,” he said. “If we could bring Prince Xander here, perhaps we could stop the war.”

“There’s no stopping the war.”

“Xander is a reasonable man. If we can just tell him about Anankos—”  

Tell them. Tell those under whose tender care she’d been left alone to rot in the dark, tormented, where if the Hoshidans hadn’t stolen her away, she would have met her death at another child’s blade, or by poison in a chalice; tell those for whom she was now trapped into fighting by Corrin’s decision (for Azura, who had lived her life among oaths and silent curses and prisons, had never been able to make a decision that mattered in her life.)

“It matters little if he’s reasonable,” she said. “Prince Takumi is dead. Queen Mikoto and King Sumeragi are dead. Nohrians are nothing but cutthroats and reprobates to the Hoshidans after all that has passed, and they’re far too stubborn to clasp hands with a nation of scoundrels, no matter who their common enemy might be. Garon would have Xander executed the moment he stepped out of line anyway. It’s too late. It’s too late.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

Azura felt the cold bite of the pendant’s chain against her skin, and the faint but ever-present power that coursed through its core. No. No, I’m not.

“In my experience,” he said, a hard-won certainty on his face, “There’s always just a little more time left than you think.”

***

She closed her eyes, before feeling something smooth and round placed in her palm. She opened her eyes again, frowning. It was a small sphere, colours dancing around it like there was a rainbow trapped within.  

“The mad dragon’s host sacrificed himself,” Inigo said, his voice weak and hold uncertain, like he wasn’t quite sure if he needed to stop her bursting or flying away. If he didn’t dry off soon, she noted vaguely, somewhere in the back of her mind, he’d catch a cold. “No matter how Father begged him not to. And still he got to come back. My parents ought to have died, and still they got live. There are worlds where fates can be averted. There are worlds where Anan—”

He gasped in pain as a sombre cheer rose in the distance, the Nohrians acknowledging their hollow victory. She felt his fingertips begin to drip where they rested upon her skin. Alarm shot through her and she scrabbled for his fingers—now that he’d shut up about the Silent Dragon, they were fine, though the tips of his fingers were gone along with part of his nails, down past the quick, water dripping from them like a mockery of blood.

“Please,” said Inigo. He whispered short pleas into her shoulder, abandoning all argument in favour of begging. Even without looking at his face she knew he looked wretched, his shoulders slumped and tears already starting to streak down his cheeks.

She touched the orb, weakly. Its aura was strong, but secure and protective, like the stories of the kindly god upon which she’d been raised. She traced its surface with a finger, watching the tracks of water left behind, then curled her hand around it.

“Laslow?” came Prince Xander’s voice. She raised her head and saw him walk through the door, a few more furrows in his brow and concern lurking beneath his usual stern expression. “Are you with—”

The last thing Azura ever witnessed of either the world above or below was Xander’s eyes landing on the pair of them and widening, everything warping and spasming as the two last hopes for the worlds above and below disappeared from his life as suddenly as they had entered it.

[ladyoftheloch126]

Taster of Chapter 10 - Adversity is a Gift

He Tian was in Cheng’s car, on the way back from the police station.  He was quickly learning that he had this innate ability to drive both his brother and his brother’s lover crazy with very little effort at all.  Wicked evil grin.

“So can I go over to school and tell Mo?”  He Tian took out his phone pretending to get ready to send Momo a message.

“No!”  Two voices rang out in unison.

“Why?”  He Tian was a picture of innocence.  He began typing, making sure his brother could see him doing it.

“Are you a fucking toddler?  I said no, Qiu said no, it means no!”  Cheng was getting that vein on the side of his temple that always appeared when He Tian was pissing him off.  Excellent.

“But I’ve told Mo almost everything now, he knows about my uncle.  Surely I can tell him I’m an undercover spy?  Like fucking James Bond, but cooler, more asian.”  He Tian was secretly pumped that he was ‘undercover’,  it was like something out of a manhua.

“WHAT PART OF NO IS NOT GETTING THROUGH!”  He Cheng’s voice was loud in the car, he swung around and snatched Tian’s phone from him.

“Count to ten.  Stop baiting your older brother you little shit, I want you both thinking clearly.”  Qiu’s normally quiet, calm voice sounded frustrated as he drove them through the city.

“Hey give me back my phone Cheng, or I will kick your gay ass.”  Tian held out his hand for his phone.

“You annoying bastard, try it!  I will pull out my gun and shoot you in the knee.”  He Cheng patted his shoulder holster, where his gun was nestled under his arm.

“Wow harsh, did you hear that officer? He’s going to shoot me, his own brother…. I’m hurt.”  He Tian’s tone was dead pan, sarcasm heavy in every word.

Qiu pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Look you’re giving Qiu a headache Cheng, you better stop being so loud.”  He Tian patted Qiu on the shoulder in sympathy, like this was all Cheng’s fault.

It was He Cheng’s turn to pinch the bride of his nose.  He drew in a huge calming breath.

“Are you finished?”  Qiu looked at He Tian through the rear view mirror and arched an eyebrow.

“Yup.”  That was fun.

“We leave for the prison at 3.30pm, but you need to go show your face at your apartment as well as the office or they’re going to get suspicious and think you’re dodging your duties.”  Cheng threw Tian’s phone on the dashboard for the moment, then turned around and looked at He Tian seriously now.

“Great.”  He Tian’s felt himself tense up at the thought of going back to his apartment.  Apparently Cheng had been over several time to mess up the bed, leave rubbish and move dishes around in the sink and on the drainer.  If his Uncle decided to turn up it would definitely seem like Tian still lived there.

“We will drop you off at your apartment, then you can make your way to the office, I will be there.  Qiu has to go over to the Jian house.”  Cheng reached for He Tian’s still unlocked phone and proceed to mess about with it for a while as he added Qiu’s number into the contacts list.

“Okay.  I need to get some more stuff anyway.”   Tian was thinking he could really do with a warmer coat and more clothes.  This time he was going to grab his passport and some money he had stashed in his wardrobe safe, never know when you might need to leave the country.  There may be police assurances of safe haven and witness protection, but if it all went to shit, he wanted a plan B.

“If anything happens, anything just call us.”  He might give his brother shit, but Cheng had really come through for him.

“Roger.” He Tian got out of the vehicle when it pulled up outside his building.    Standing at the drivers door he leaned down winked at the occupants.

“Asshole.”  Tian could hear the word muttered under breath from his older brother.

As he walked away he stuck his V’s up in parting. Then Tian hurried into his building, he was in and out quickly, leaving with a backpack full of possessions.  Then he showed his face, bowed down at the office.  His Uncle was thankfully not there when he went, so after speaking with his superior and giving promises to attend a meeting the next day, he rushed out with enough time to get his plan in gear.  

He Tian was going to coax Momo to meet him at the school wall during lunch break.  He needed to see Shan, to touch him, kiss him, reassure himself that he was okay, before He Tian had to plunge himself back into his shitty gangster life again.

=========================================

After Zhan Zheng Xi messaged him Mo Guan Shan spent the rest of the morning wondering what He Tian was doing, had he gone to the hospital about his neck?  Was he resting, was he eating?  Worry creased his brow.

When lunch came around he walked to buy a sandwich and a drink, then he ignored invitations to eat with his friends from his class.  Instead he walked over to the furthest basketball court and sat on the grassy area behind the hoop.  There were large shrubs planted along the school perimeter fence.  The air was cold, in fact the area was quiet because most of the student body preferred to eat in the comfort of the classrooms or the cafeteria.

When his phone buzzed he took it from his pocket lying it down on his knee so he could read the message on the screen and open his sandwich at the same time.  Shan took a huge, hungry bite, moaning because he was so hungry.

HE TIAN:  Can I see you?

Momo:  Aren’t you supposed to be staying home today?

HE TIAN:  It’s been a long time since I did as I was supposed to.

Momo:  True.

HE TIAN:  So can I see you?

Momo:  Now?

HE TIAN:  Now.

Momo:  Whatever.

Mo Guan Shan shook his head and shrugged, his boyfriend had apparently grown bored with being covert.   Mo picked up the bottle of water he had bought and unscrewed the lid.  As he was about to tip the bottle back, two strong hands grabbed his shoulders, hauling him back into the bushes.

“AAAH!”  Mo cursed as water poured down his chin and onto his chest, soaking his school shirt right through.  His hand reached out futilely as his sandwich went tumbling into the grass next to his school bag.  Nooo!

Before Mo Guan Shan could speak he was roughly pushed against the mesh fence and a tall body loomed in front of him.  Shan squinted trying to see in the dark, sheltered bushes.  He became aware of a long arm stretched out, strong fingers were fisted in the wire fence above his head, effectively hemming him in.

Before he could swear or kick the person in the balls, his lips were seized in a searing kiss.  Shivers zinging up and down his spine, the hairs stood up on his forearms.  It felt so familiar, so warm that his arms dropped defencelessly at his sides.  When a tongue pressed incessantly at the seal of his lips, Mo parted them with a groan and the kiss quickly level up from PG to explicit.

A hard body pressed into his personal space and his arms lifted of their own volition to snake around a strong, wide back.  Shan’s fingers fisted in the fabric of a jacket, hanging on desperately as his mouth as thoroughly plundered.  All he could hear was the sound of gasping breaths, feet scuffing the dirt and desperate groans every time their lips briefly parted.

His bottom lip was currently being nibbled and sucked on.  Time seemed to stretch into infinity, neither boys wanting it to end.  Two big warm hands cupped the back of his head and the kiss turned slow, languid, like the initial desperate passion had sizzled into a simmer now.

“Tian.”  Mo spoke against his boyfriend’s lips, then made it impossible for He Tian to reply because he plunged his tongue in to play a little, sliding it against the silky interior.

“Hmm.”  He Tian seemed reluctant to stop too, his hands dropped to haul Mo Guan Shan into the circle of his arms, pressing their bodies closer until there wasn’t an inch of space between them.

“You normally drag people into the bushes to make out?”  Every word was uttered softly against Tian’s mouth.

“You’re the first.”  He Tian whispered kissed his way over to Mo’s ear, biting the lobe firmly.

“And the last.”  Mo tilted his head and relaxed into his lover’s arms.

“Definitely.”  Tian gripped Mo’s hips in his hands, enjoying the feel of them hardening against each other.  The kiss finally wound down and Tian rested his forehead against Momo’s, both boys were breathless.

“You ruined my lunch.”  Mo groused, but his hips continued to rub against Tian’s.

“You’re so romantic Shan.”  He Tian huffed out a laugh and shook his head, typical Mo Guan Shan, spoiling the mood.

“Well you did!  My water is toast, my sandwich is on the fucking floor.”  Shan tilted Tian’s chin up and chomped on the flesh of the neck there as punishment.

“Oww!  That hurt.  I miss you Momo.”  Tian trapped his lover’s face in his palms and forced him to focus.

“Me too…..I mean I miss you too asshole.”  Mo blushed and tried to look away, but it was impossible.  So he stood there like a chicken dick and stared into He Tian’s dark, dark eyes.

“I just needed a Momo recharge.”  Tian closed his eyes and enjoyed the closeness of their bodies.  You can’t do this through FaceTime.

“And why do you need a recharge?”  Mo stood there completely docile, enjoying this little moment as much as his boyfriend.

“I need to do something this afternoon.”  Tian felt Momo’s entire body stiffen, then he pulled away, leaving Tian cold, bereft without the warmth of Mo.

First there was silence.  

Then Mo said “Be careful He Tian.” he left it at that.

“I will.”  He Tian kissed Mo’s forehead and stepped away, stepping back towards the hole in the fence all the delinquents knew about.  It was one of the main escape routes if you wanted to play truant.

“See ya.”  He Tian winked and turned away, climbing through the hole.

“Bye.”  Mo Guan Shan stood there like a useless cock and watched his boyfriend disappear.

And that was it, the moment was gone.  Fuck.