#threading: my will; my choices

[justamultifandomartist]

So, I had a vision

[expectiations]

I still find it funny that people call eleven a "deadbeat husband" and their marriage "toxic" but twelve is the "perfect husband" and their marriage "wedded bliss" all because of the few moments we'd seen between 11 and River were them being "toxic". yes of course! let's ignore how the minisodes show how that description isn't true and even how little moments in the episodes themselves – "what? that's it?" (why haven't you kissed me goodbye? are you being sly on purpose so I'd kiss you first?) and "they wouldn't bury my wife out here" and the music room is the heart of the home and it's not a ghost story, it's a love story – show 11 cared and put in the work and yes, they're going to have disagreements like the ones in TATM because duh who doesn't but it does not mean it is the entirety of their relationship but people have taken it and made it the entirety of their relationship.

[natgoodmans]

books read in 2025 🤍

books read so far: 89 reading goal: 100

as always, askbox + dms are open if have any questions or would like to chat about books! you can find me on goodreads here, and on bookstagram here. 🤍

♡ indicates any new favorites; ⊹ indicates a reread.

january ⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚

1. writers & lovers by lily king 2. the art of memory collecting: 15 scrapbook, collage, trinket and zine projects for crafting treasured moments by martina calvi 3. tom lake by ann patchett (audiobook) ♡ 4. our town by thornton wilder ⊹ 5. beloved by toni morrisson 6. promise me sunshine by cara bastone (arc) ♡ 7. days at the morisaki bookshop by satoshi yagisawa & translated by eric ozawa ♡ 8. small things like these by claire keegan (audiobook) 9. beartown by fredrik backman ♡

february ⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚

1. the fellowship of the ring by j.r.r. tolkien (audiobook) 2. i'll pretend you're mine by tashie bhuiyan (arc) 3. sense and sensibility by jane austen ⊹ (audiobook) 4. the lonely city: adventures in the art of being alone by olivia laing (audiobook) 5. everything i learned, i learned in a chinese restaurant by curtis chin (audiobook) 6. tiny moons: a year of eating in shanghai by nina mingya powles 7. sorcery of thorns by margaret rogerson (audiobook) ♡ 8. more days at the morisaki bookshop by satoshi yagisawa ♡ 9. mysteries of thorn manor by margaret rogerson

march ⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚

1. an enchantment of ravens by margaret rogerson (audiobook) 2. white ice: race and the making of atlanta hockey by thomas aiello 3. lost and lassoed by lyla sage 4. holy terrors by margaret owen (arc) 5. swift and saddled by lyla sage 6. circe by madeline miller (audiobook) 7. a dark and drowning tide by allison saft (audiobook) 8. intermezzo by sally rooney (audiobook) ⊹ 9. my side of the river by elizabeth camarillo gutierrez (audiobook) 10. four weekends and a funeral by ellie palmer ♡ 11. the bell jar by sylvia plath (audiobook) 12. the break-up pact by emma lord 13. love lettering by kate clayborn 14. the partner plot by kristina forest 15. the rom-commers by katherine center 16. emily wilde's compendium of lost tales by heather fawcett (audiobook) 17. dolls of our lives: why we can't quit american girl by mary mahoney & allison horrocks (audiobook)

april ⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚

1. you between the lines by katie naymon 2. my not so perfect life by sophie kinsella 3. a quantum love story by mike chen (audiobook) 4. the siren of sussex by mimi matthews 5. the love wager by lynn painter (audiobook) 6. you belong with me by mhairi mcfarlane (audiobook) 7. puck and prejudice by lia riley 8. swept away by beth o'leary 9. great big beautiful life by emily henry (arc) 10. second first impressions by sally thorne (audiobook) 11. i who have never known men by jacqueline harpman ♡ 12. the belle of belgrave square by mimi matthews 13. the kiss countdown by etta easton 14. lovelight farms by b.k. borison 15. the wedding people by alison espach (audiobook) 16. the ex vows by jessica joyce 17. deep cuts by holly brickley 18. remember me? by sophie kinsella 19. here we go again by alison cochrun (audiobook) 20. the most wonderful crime of the year by ally carter (audiobook) 21. mistakes we never made by hannah brown 22. when you least expect it by haley cass (audiobook) 23. pitcher perfect by tessa bailey (arc) 24. the next chapters: an on the same page novella by haley cass (audiobook) 25. on the same page by haley cass 26. it happened one fight by maureen lee lenker 27. hello stranger by katherine center 28. ps: i hate you by lauren connolly 29. the rose bargain by sasha peyton smith (audiobook) 30. out on a limb by hannah bonam-young 31. make the season bright by ashley herring blake (audiobook) 32. flirting with disaster by naina kumar 33. first-time caller by b.k. borison 34. welcome to the hyunam-dong bookshop by hwang bo-reum, shanna tan (translator) 35. funny story by emily henry ⊹ 36. the guest cat by takashi hiraide, eric selland (translator)

may ⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚

1. evenings and weekends by oisín mckenna (audiobook) 2. the dragon's promise by elizabeth lim (audiobook) 3. the examiner by janice hallett 4. i want to die but i want to eat tteokbokki by baek se-hee, anton hur (translator) 5. the manor of dreams by christina li (arc) 6. lonely castle in the mirror by mizuki tsujimura (audiobook) ♡ 7. john proctor is the villain by kimberly belflower ♡ 8. the crucible by arthur miller, christopher w.e. bigsby (audiobook) ⊹ 9. in a not so perfect world by neely tubati alexander (audiobook) 10. the vanished birds by simon jimenez 11. time is a mother by ocean vuong 12. promise me sunshine by cara bastone ⊹ 13. straight white men / untitled feminist show by young jean lee 14. before we forget kindness by toshikazu kawaguchi, geoffrey trousselot 15. passion project by london sperry 16. the killer question by janice hallett (arc) 17. the cat who saved books by sōsuke natsukawa, louise heal kawai 18. bibliophobia: a memoir by sarah chihaya (audiobook)

[antaripirate]

here’s another one

please discuss

[loveandpenis]

ballet dancer vash au 🩰

bonus doodles and link to bsky thread with more au thoughts below!!

thoughts on vash and nai in a ballet au

extra doodles:

[starnana7]

okay but the fact that dean and cas are BOTH made for each other and at the same time they willed their love. they made it happen, knowingly, loving each other with every bit of consciousness they had, that they gained with one another. cas was always a rebellious angel, but this is the only universe where he actually rebelled—for dean. that he didn’t do what he was told, where he defied God and fate and the universe. they may not love each other in Every universe, and that may have been their only chance (</3) But Fuck if that isn’t even more poetic. the fact they weren’t linked by some intertwined invisible string but they actually chose to fall in love with each other. every day they made that choice, consciously or not. every day they chose each other. every day they woke up and fought for their love. and like i do think that at some level they were kinda destined for each other, i mean, they Are soulmates, but not in the divine sense yk like chuck did brought castiel over and over because of dean and they are not just two random dudes that fell in love; they were indeed “brought together” but ultimately They—and only they—changed the entire narrative bc that WASN’T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. castiel was supposed to obey, to comply; dean was supposed to hate all angels and supernatural beings, and yet they were the only real thing in the entire cosmos. they were the only real thing in chuck’s story, their love, the bond they forged—one that wasn’t even supposed to exist, at least not like that. like they really did that Huh they invented free will right then and there to the point even the writers had to change the original script so castiel would come back (i’m pretty sure he was only supposed to be in a few episodes). love so strong they changed the narrative (both of them). cas love for dean was so strong that even tho he was brainwashed and trained to kill dean over and over and over again, the moment that dean needed cas—dean who doesn’t need any one btw—the connection broke, cas broke free. dean love for cas was so strong that even tho he had the moc, the moment that cas asked for him to stop, he did, he couldn’t kill cas, not with cas touching him and not fighting back (btw i love this parallel with all my heart and also cas-collete parallel hellooo?). dean also loved cas so much that even tho he was by fate bound to amara, the moment she did something to cas he immediately went against her, like even she realized that his love for cas was stronger than their bond—even tho his and amara bond was literally inevitable, like it just would happen. and then again we prove that the choice of dean and cas love for each other was so much more strong than anything that chuck could’ve written, stronger than any fate or ineffable plan or anything. and like cas’ love is so strong that i do think would resonate in every universe, but not because they were supposed to happen. on the contrary, specifically because they weren’t a thing, it were so strong to the point it changed everything that it could also happen in every other universe yk like i firmly believe cas would always find dean but not because of fate but because of his love

[chiropteracupola]

Poverty, poverty knock / Keeping one eye on the clock / I know I can guttle, when I hear my shuttle / Go poverty, poverty knock...

...so I read @nothwell's novel 'mr warren's profession' at approximately light speed the other day and felt like drawing some of the cast.

[ladiesandwitches]

@thehxrkness

"I have worked for centuries to beat back every stereotype, every assumption, about witches and our culture, and at every turn I hear some new wicked deed of yours that undoes it all, like that, poof!" Lilia protested. unbridled irritation filling her voice as she jabbed a finger at Agatha. "You know you're the reason people used to think I caused the storms rather than just predicting them."

[twojamie-o-clock]

I literally said I should delete all social media for a month because it’s ruining my art HOWEVER. consider polly and two, if you will, and how they are always there for each other even when they’re not.

almost immediately after two regenerates, polly accepts him. she’s confused and lost and probably more than a little upset and thrown into a Dalek story which he does little to be clear about, and she accepts him. she entertains his passing interests and urges throughout the story, and she constantly points out to Ben how this must be the Doctor, if only because he’s taken the place of the last one. this new doctor who is wild and intense and tactile and also even more mysterious and confusing than the past one. this doctor who doesn’t even seem to know who he himself is yet. Polly comforts and helps even when she doesn’t really know what has happened; she sees what’s in front of her and works with it.

It’s not seamless, but they get each other. not all the time. but they are there - polly is there, in the most vulnerable moment - when there were not many others to be there for one another. and of course it’s not perfect, but they do click, they do turn to each other, they do work together in ways that ben and jamie learn to (that the s4 team splits into pretty much every pair for various reasons is what makes it so interesting. like Polly and Ben and Jamie and the Doctor have their own relationships and being so so deeply intertwined to the point of like. love parallels if you want. and then ben and jamie serve as the male companions together who tend to get beat up, who don’t always agree but always have each other’s backs, who remind each other where they are, while two and polly are generally more ,,,,, well this is me gender projecting onto two because I want her gender, but they do click like that. and then Polly is Jamie’s reference for his first few adventures in the tardis. meanwhile Ben and the Doctor uh. I’ll think about them more later.) and while of course Jamie does end up being the doctor’s go-to for physical affection, you still see a greater deal of it with Polly and the Doctor that’s not quite present in non-granddaughter figures before. I feel like they care about each other in a “I’ve seen you at your lowest and I don’t really know much else about you but I’ll be here, if you need it,” way which never goes insanely deep because (as I’ve kind of already yapped about on the trans fic but) they also rely on words alongside their brief affection in a way that two and jamie don’t.

anyway. they grow with and on each other. and then you cut to the faceless ones………..while Polly and Ben obviously have been wanting to go home, they aren’t expecting/in control of it when it happens. so they’ll leave, yes, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t leave them with a bitter taste……a hasty goodbye, not enough thought, not enough words. [60s who departure voice] quick. two seconds before the doctor’s urge to adventure takes hold. you have two seconds to summarize what the past year(?) of your life has meant to you…..

….and afterwards, well, how does Polly sit with that? She wants to travel. She wants to keep moving, keep going, never stop. But she also cannot bear thinking of the doctor and everything she was, in a way, forced to leave behind when the choice was brought in front of her so abruptly. she wants to push away her own rejection of that life (and, by association, Ben, if you’re a “do you dream in color” fan……again why that story’s characterizations are golden. ben is everything the tardis was, of course she cannot stay with him. of course she cannot give him up.) but she couldn’t betray herself by ignoring all of it, so she travels. and that really does feel like her carrying two with her in the only ways she can. and the Doctor, well, he carries on living even more true to himself across s5-6, taking more and more bold, interfering steps as he actively chooses to intervene and rescue those in a way the first doctor did not. as he rebels even further from gallifrey and the time lords, as he accepts parts of him he might never understands just as Polly did.

they’re not always together, and they don’t always get it. but they hold onto each other, in their worst of times, or in the best, just that little bit, because they were there for each other, and they’ll always be.

[xlillyle]

"We can delay the mission for another two minutes."

[okitanoniisan]

no one can reach my level of petty hating about the stupid english title

[vaelsnipe]

I don’t know why I keep writing these. Habit, maybe. Discipline. Something I can touch when everything else is smoke. He doesn’t sleep like the rest of us. He doesn’t rest, not really. When he does, it’s like watching a storm hold its breath still on the outside, but I can feel it thrumming beneath his skin. I don’t think he dreams. I think the past is too loud for that. Still there are no storms loud enough to drown out the memory of his silence.

It’s not a sharp-edged kind of silence nor a weapon. His silence is worse, it’s ancient. A cathedral of it hollowed by time, echoing with all the things that were never said, never asked for and never given. He doesn't carry the weight of the world, he carries the full weight of time and all it's done to him.

I’ve listened in the stillness from the day I first met him. To the spaces between his words. The way his fingers would twitch when someone got too close. The way his voice sometimes caught like it had learned to swallow itself too many times. The way shadows follow him not because he calls them, but because they never truly left him. He doesn’t talk much about what happened to him, not directly unless I’ve asked. But I’ve pieced it together. The strings he doesn’t even know he’s unraveling from the scars that go deeper than skin. He’s old, older than I’d imagined at first but he’s aged in hurt. In the things denied to him. In the silence that’s wrapped around him like a second skin. I’ve seen glimpses into that abyss. What lives there isn’t just power, it’s pain. He was shaped by hands that only knew how to take. The kind that changed a soul down to its shape. He hadn’t been allowed to live like other people. He hadn’t grown. He’d survived. Piece by piece, moment by moment. Twisted into something beautiful and terrible, and taught that was the only way he’d ever be seen. And still… he survived. He didn’t become the monster they tried to make him. He became Lukel.

I have never believed in saving people. It isn’t who I am. I know damage when I see it. I know scar tissue. I know what it means to carry something inside you so long you forget where it ended and you began. But I see it now. The way he always steps between me and danger. The way he flinches at kindness, but never pulls away. The way he lets me see him, the real him, when he doesn't even know he’s doing it. Like trusting me is something he's relearning one heartbeat at a time. We both are relearning the same, it was hard as hell to let him see me but he has, all of me. And he stayed.

Gods be damned, I love him.

It's in the way forests remember fire. In the way old songs ache in the bones of instruments long since abandoned. In the way wounded creatures don’t run from each other, but instead… quietly learn where not to press. Bit by bit, I’m touching every thread of his story he’s let me, and I’ve seen how tangled they are. Each one stretched by cruelty, warped by time, and snapped too soon. I’ve patient, steady hands. I think I’m trying to untie him, unravel the knots. Maybe even trying to quiet the shadows, not to destroy them because I have come to love that part of him too, but simply to let them rest. He deserves that, he deserves someone who stays. Against all odds, I’ve chosen to stay.

It may take me a lifetime to untie every bound thread and find our own peace. Even if I have to carve it into the world with my bare hands, I will.

[@lukel-sunshadow for the mention ♥ ]

[skyheld]

I feel like now is a good time to mention that when I criticize veilguard (or any dragon age game tbh) I try to avoid putting the blame on anyone specific unless they've explicitly said they're responsible for a particular piece of writing being the way it is. I criticize the writing, I don't want to criticize the writers. They're not incompetent and I'm certain they do care about the lore of previous games. Most of the time when the writing falls short I believe it's due to studio interference or time constraints.

I have a lot of thoughts, I might post some of them eventually because it's somewhat cathartic to talk about the bigger issues i have even if no one needs to hear every little thing. But I can be mad at how the game turned out and sad for the people who worked on it and i am

[satans-knitwear]

leaving the house 😮🫣✨

Treat me ~ Tip me (buy me a cold beverage as positive reinforcement)~ More of me

[queen0fm0nsterz]

I am no longer Ransara pilled I am Ransara injected. I was filled with Ransara. I cannot turn back from this

[itstimetodrew]

I like my 3 favorite characters. 3 is a good number to have. They create a perfect balance of options. Goldilocks blorbos.