#thread: and i call this masterpiece
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goldoanheart · 5 months ago
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Right, so, about those monsters! It turns out they might be smarter than you are, because you can’t just walk up to them and start swinging, and they also look to have little interest in your cute traps and snares. You’re going to have to get creative about it, before the hunters become the hunted. [Grants Any Skill +1]
Kurthnaga fiddles with the piece of rope he holds in his hands. He doesn't want to do this. He doesn't want to make traps and hunt down the monsters in the woods. He doesn't want to have to hurt them. They may just be strange monsters, but Kurthnaga still didn't want to have to hurt them. Where was the line drawn anyway? Where was the line drawn between "monster" and Feral One?
He just didn't like it. He didn't like the idea of hunting to begin with. Let alone whatever these monsters were.
His hands tense around the rope, the threads starting to split apart with the strength of his grip. Hunting meant blood. Trapping meant blood. At least for the most part. Perhaps there were traps that didn't draw blood, but because the idea of hunting was almost equivalent with blood for Kurthnaga, his racing mind couldn't even begin to think of them.
Kurthnaga turns to one of his fellow hunters, trying to clear his throat of any nerves. Though his voice still comes out as a muffled squeak, so he couldn't really say he was successful at that.
"Um! Excuse me...! Do you... know of any more... ulp.... humane ways to trap these monsters? I would rather like to not hurt them if we can, or at the very least not make them... um... bleed..."
@charmblooded
And I Call This Masterpiece "Please Don't Bite Me"
Affluence | Any Skill +1
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clownattack · 8 months ago
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The fact crinkle had the gall to draw himself with backstab wounds SURE IS SOMETHING considering he was the one doing all the backstabbing from start to finish.
Crink never got backstabbed neither by me nor by Night. He just didnt like the fact we didnt take his bs laying down and that i retaliated. Like sorry but if you choose to smear me and make yourself an enemy then i will treat you as such! Literally why would i ever feel any sense of loyalty to someone who did me dirty first. Someone who betrayed my trust completely and then victim blamed people who he was very comfortable hurting for MANY, MANY MONTHS. Like yeah OFC ill air your dirty laundry for that! Its not backstabbing babes, its getting even. Shouldnt have been hurting me on purpose while i thought he was just going through a rough patch. Shouldnt have taken advantage of my trust. Shouldnt have called me a "dear friend" when he was so willing to discard me for someone who turned out to be a fairweather friend.
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solxamber · 3 months ago
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Hi! Can I have a request for skully j. graves with a fem reader? (romantic)
Where his s/o wears a clothing style like sally? Since skully clothing is like skellington, she even wore makeup up like sally's! Imagine the couple wears like jack skellington and sally <3
Bonus: reader shyly asked if Sally can make a clothing style like hers AHHHH cute interaction with her 😭💕
Skully J. Graves x reader
I hope it's not too ooc and I hope you like it <3
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It’s a crisp, shadowy evening in Halloween Town, and the air practically hums with excitement. The strange blend of mystery and delight is palpable—especially with Halloween just around the corner. You and Skully have been together for a while now, and tonight, you’re ready to take the plunge and ask Sally something you’ve been thinking about for ages.
With a deep breath, you approach Sally as she sits under a gnarled tree, busy at work stitching up a new creation. She hums softly to herself, her needlework delicate and precise. There’s something serene about her, something calming—though, as you sneak a glance back at Skully bouncing on his feet with excitement, you realize not everything about Halloween Town is peaceful.
“Um, Sally?” you call out, walking up with a shy smile. “Can I ask you something?”
Sally looks up from her sewing, her expression warm and welcoming. “Of course. What is it?”
Feeling a bit self-conscious, you fiddle with the hem of your sleeve. “I… I’ve always loved your dress, and your whole look, really. I was wondering if… if you could help me make something similar?”
Sally’s eyes light up with surprise and pleasure. “You want to make a dress like mine?” she asks, setting aside her needle and thread. “I’d be more than happy to help.”
Her excitement makes you feel a bit more comfortable, and you sit down beside her as she explains how she pieces together scraps of fabric and stitches them by hand. She’s patient as she teaches you, her soft voice guiding you through each step.
“It’s all about finding pieces that fit together,” she says, threading a needle with ease. “Just like how you and Skully do. You complement each other well.”
That comment makes you blush, but you smile in return. “Thank you, Sally. This means a lot.”
Sally’s hand gently rests on yours, offering a kind smile. “It’s no trouble at all. I’m just glad you’re making something that feels true to you.”
The next few days are spent working on the dress, with Sally guiding you and encouraging your creativity. And when you finally finish, you feel a sense of pride that matches the joy in your heart. The dress is a patchwork of colors, stitched together like pieces of a story, and it’s perfect. To complete the look, you add a bit of makeup to match Sally’s iconic stitched appearance.
As you step out wearing the dress for the first time, Skully’s reaction is immediate and unmistakable. His wide eyes, slack jaw, and dramatic gasp make you laugh, though his sheer excitement is impossible to ignore.
“My dear,” Skully exclaims, rushing over to you with a flourish. “You… you look absolutely stunning! Truly, a masterpiece! This—this is the most splendid thing I’ve ever seen!”
His excitable energy radiates from him, and his hands flutter around you like he’s unsure where to start with his compliments. “The stitching, the colors, the sheer brilliance of it all!” he continues, twirling you around to get the full effect. “You’ve captured the essence of Halloween Town itself!”
You can’t help but grin at his reaction, feeling the warmth of his admiration. “It’s thanks to Sally,” you say modestly. “She helped me put it all together.”
“Ah, but it’s you who brings it to life!” Skully declares, grabbing your hand and twirling you in a playful spin. “You, my love, are a true artist.”
As the evening continues, the two of you walk hand in hand through Halloween Town, an eye-catching pair with your Jack and Sally-inspired looks. The town’s usual eerie glow seems even more magical tonight, and the townspeople can’t help but notice. Some smile and wave, while others chuckle at Skully’s over-the-top commentary about how “perfectly terrifying” the two of you look together.
When you reach the iconic hill with its curled peak, Skully pauses, his hand still clasped in yours. He turns to you with a wide grin, his excitement now tempered by a softer, more heartfelt emotion.
“I have to say,” he begins, his voice still brimming with energy, “you’ve made this town feel even more magical. It’s always been my home, but with you here, it’s… it’s like the spirit of Halloween itself is stronger.”
His words touch you deeply, and you step closer, resting your head on his chest as he wraps his arm around you. “I feel the same way,” you admit softly. “Halloween Town has never felt more like home than when I’m with you.”
Skully pulls you in tighter, a genuine smile lighting up his face. “We’re quite the pair, aren’t we?” he says dramatically, looking out over the eerie landscape. “The King of Halloween and his perfect Queen.”
You laugh at his flair, though the sentiment warms you from the inside out. You chuckle, your voice filled with affection. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
As the two of you stand there, the glow of Halloween Town casting long shadows, you realize that this is where you’re meant to be. With Skully by your side, everything feels like it’s fallen into place—just like the pieces of the patchwork dress you now wear.
And in true Skully fashion, as he sweeps you up into his arms for a grand twirl, you realize that his dramatic flair and excitable nature make every day with him an adventure. A perfect, spooky, and utterly charming adventure.
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Masterlist
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mingtinys · 8 months ago
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lost for words
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pairing : lee jihoon x gn!reader
fluff , drabble , ultimate simp jihoon
warnings : none
word count : 0.6 k
requested ? no
a/n : this is what i imagine it would sound like if woozi wrote his own "shall i compare thee to a summers day"
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Jihoon is nothing short of talented. A maestro amongst artists and a musical prodigy to his peers.
He can pluck strings until they sing and make his fingertips fly across piano keys in a way that makes them melt together into a symphony. He can breathe life into a school child's recorder that could charm a brewing storm and he can fit together words like a jigsaw to reveal a lyrical masterpiece worthy of the Louvre. Trust, Jihoon has no qualms over his musical competence.
But how is it that he struggles to find any combination of words suitable to the occasion? Why now does his brain falter when it thinks of ways to encompass just how much he loves you? Not a dictionary in the world would be adequate enough to measure that of which he feels.
Because what he feels for you could not possibly be contained to ink on paper, you're much too special for something as archaic as that. Everything about you is so breathtaking. An enigma he's simply been blessed to experience in this lifetime. Jihoon could carve your likeness into crystal under the moonlight and it wouldn't be nearly as mesmerizing as the real thing.
Jihoon believes you outshine even the brightest stars against a jet-black sky. He'd choose the ones in your eyes to stare at for hours over the Milky Way in a heartbeat. Your voice sings a sweeter melody than Apollo's harp on a warm summer day. One he wishes he could capture and play on a loop for all of eternity. If all of history's greatest composers put their minds to one piece, still, they could not conduct a symphony worthy of your essence.
And, oh, how you call his name has him hearing bells. You light a fire inside him like flint dragged across steel— like a bow across strings. Your hand fits into his palm like the bout of a violin and he can't get enough of the harmony you bring to his life. Just your presence alone grounds him in ways he never knew possible.
When he kisses your lips, Jihoon can taste a song so decedent it leaves him full for days. Soft and delicate touches that crescendo into passion personified pluck at the strings of his heart in the late hours. The feeling of his arms around your waist as you sleep provides an indomitable security. Your even breaths fan against his collarbone like a lullaby, easing him to sleep. Then, when he wakes, you're still there, greeting him like a songbird.
You are his muse, his life, and everything more.
Jihoon understands now why so many of history's greatest ballads are written for lovers. Because the human language is a fickle thing. Always changing, never quite perfect, unsatisfactory in the eyes of man. Music lives on for centuries beyond their composers. It is, by all definitions of the word, immortal. There will always be someone to enjoy its tune and pass it down for years to come.
A song is but a time capsule of the memories that brought it to life. And Jihoon is not a man selfish enough to deny future generations of your beauty. He would write a song a day if it meant cementing your memory in history.
If only he could find the words.
"Are you ready?" Seungcheol's deep voice pierces through the thin silence.
"Not at all." Jihoon inhales as deeply as he can in his suit that feels one away thread from being too tight, then exhales slowly. The parchment with his vows crinkles and folds at the bend between his fingers.
The words in his palm are no soliloquy, but his heart bled them with every ounce of love he could muster through shaky hands. And the gold band on his finger is a gentle reminder he has a lifetime to spend writing ballads in your honor. There are only two words he needs to worry about right now.
I do.
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nomie-11 · 11 days ago
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Vi x Reader - Masterpiece
masterlist!
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One arm wrapped around her shoulders, the other around her back, tangled between soft sheets and the gentle sound of her breathing, you held her close, fingers trailing the edges of her tattoos. The faint light filtering through the curtains painted her skin in soft hues, the intricate inkwork coming to life under your fingertips as your eyes traced the contours of her face, 
“You’re staring again,” Vi murmured, her voice low and rough from sleep, a lazy smirk curling at the  corner of her lips. Her head rested against your chest, but her sharp eyes flicked up, catching yours. 
“I can’t help it,” you admitted softly, your fingers tracing the sharp curves and loops of the tattoos etched into her back. “You’re a masterpiece.” 
Vi let out a breathy laugh, burying her face against your neck for a moment before turning her head to nip lightly at your collarbone. “Sweet talker.” 
But your hands didn’t stop. They wandered lower, fingertips skating over the defined muscles along her lower back, nails dragging lightly over the sensitive skin. You felt her body shiver beneath your touch, her shoulder rising slightly as if to stifle the reaction. 
“Careful there,” Vi warned, her voice dropping an octave, a delicious rasp threading through her words. 
“Just appreciating the view,” you said innocently, though the way your fingers inched even lower betrayed you. 
Vi shifted, lifting herself slightly to look down at you, her short pink hair tousled and framing her face in a way that made her look both ethereal and wild. Her smirk widened into something smug, something dangerous. 
“You keep that up, cupcake, and we might not be getting out of bed today.” 
Your lips parted slightly, your breath catching in your throat at the way her eyes darkened, gaze dragging across your face and then back to where your hands rested on her hips. 
“Would that really be so bad?” You teased, your voice softer now, almost a whisper. 
Vi let out a low hum, leaning down until her lips brushed against yours. 
You smirked, letting your hand travel farther, resting on the firm muscle of her thigh. “So… never getting out of bed, then?” 
Vi laughed again, this time louder, before pulling you even closer. “Fine,” she relented, her voice dropping into a low, satisfied growl. “Never getting out of bed. But if you’re starting this again, I get to call the shots.” 
“Deal,” you murmured, already leaning into her as she rolled to pin you beneath her. 
-------
If you enjoyed this one shot, please check out my other series!
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sheerfreesia007 · 4 months ago
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Masterpiece of a Confession
Pairing: Hyunjin x Reader
Word count: 1,802
Content warnings: Fluff, mention of alcohol
Summary: You and Hyunjin have made plans to hang out tonight. What happens when you find him a gift that he’s been eager to get his hands on, and when you present it to him he confesses to you?
Seoltang: Sugar
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There was just something so comforting to you whenever you went shopping for hobby supplies. The store was perfectly lit to be able to show you all the colors of the materials that you were looking to buy. Not to mention all the sales that would normally come along. As you walked slowly down the aisle with all the multicolored yarn and thread you smiled softly while your hands gently trailed over the ones you liked. You picked out a few for a project that you were just starting and then a few more that caught your attention.
Just as you moved further down the aisle your cellphone began to ring and you smiled when you recognized who the ringtone was for. Fishing the device out of your bag you quickly answered the phone and held it to your ear still smiling.
”Hey Jinnie.” You greet him happily and he chuckles softly on the other end.
”Hi Seoltang, where are you right now?” He greeted and asked kindly. You could hear the smile in his voice as you continued to walk down the aisle perusing the merchandise.
”At the craft store picking up some material for my new project.” You tell him as you stop to look at some hand dyed material that catches your eye.
”Do you want to come hang out later once I’m done with this photoshoot? I miss you.” He says softly into the phone as if he doesn’t want anyone else to hear how sweet and soft he’s being. You smile to yourself at his tone, Hyunjin has always been like this with you. He was always able to relax and be himself whenever he was with you and you loved that about your relationship. Plus the fact that you were able to be such a comfort to him made your heart sing with joy.
”Of course I do. Do you want me to pick up some food for us and Changbin?” You ask him kindly when you turn down the paint aisle and smile softly at the reminder of your friend.
”Changbin’s going out with Jisung and Chan tonight. It’s just going to be the two of us.” Hyunjin responds and you nod your head at his words as you spot Hyunjin’s favorite brand of paint before walking over to it.
”Alright so then I’ll grab us some food, anything in particular you’d like?” You ask as you grab some of the paint colors that you know he runs out of a lot and slip them into your basket.
”I don’t know, comfort food?” He muses curiously and you nod your head knowing exactly what he means. Today had been a bit of a gloomy overcast day and it really should’ve kept you in your cozy bed but you were on a mission to get all of your errands done.
”Italian from that little mom and pop place not far from your apartment?” You ask curiously and Hyunjin gasps and hums in delight.
”Oh you read my mind.” He gushes out softly and you chuckle at him as your eyes continue down the shelves of paints when suddenly something catches your eye. “Maybe we can try some of those Aracini balls that we weren’t able to try last time.” He suggested and you hummed in agreement.
”Oooh that sounds great. I’ll make sure to get an order of those for us.” You tell him as you move down the aisle closer to the multicolored box in hopes that it was what you thought it was. Hyunjin had been going on and on about this paint set that he wanted to try but every time he tried to get it in any craft store they were always sold out, as you reached up and grabbed the box you nearly let out a squeal in delight! It was the same set that he had been talking about, and luckily for you it looked like it was the last one on the shelf. 
“Well I really called you to talk about our days but it looks like I don’t have that long of a break today.” Hyunjin sighed softly and you frowned in response to his words before beaming as you slipped the paint set into your basket.
”That’s okay Jinnie, we’ll have all of tonight to talk about our days.” You reassured him sweetly and he hummed softly in response.
”I can’t wait to see you tonight Seoltang.” He said softly. “I’ll see you later, I gotta get back now.”
”I’ll see you later Jinnie.” You respond happily and hang up the phone before quickly making your way to the registers to pay for your things. You were eager to get home so that you could wrap the gift for him and give it to him tonight when you saw him.
*-*-*-*
Your trek up to Hyunjin and Changbins’ apartment is an easy one for you as you eagerly stride up the stairs two at a time. You’ve got your tote bag that holds the wrapped gift for Hyunjin as well as a bottle of wine that you found in the family owned restaurant when you went to pick up your dinner order. It had looked and sounded like something the two of you would enjoy together while eating so you had bought it.
Just as you make it to the top step of their floor you stop for a second letting yourself catch your breath and you hear a soft sweet giggle coming from the side. Turning your head you grin at a giggling Changbin who eyes you happily.
”That eager to get to him yah?” He asks knowingly and you blush softly at his teasing which causes him to giggle more. “Don’t worry he’s just as eager for you.” He says before giving you a quick hug and then continuing on down the stairs. “I’ll sleep over at Chan’s place tonight so don’t worry if you have a sleepover.” He calls over his shoulder teasingly.
”Changbin!” You scold softly and he giggles loudly once more at you before waving at you over his shoulder.
”Was Changbin giving you a hard time?” Hyunjin asks you and you turn your head to see him standing in the doorway of his apartment looking at you worriedly. You grin at him happily and he reciprocates the grin with one of his own sweet smiles. “I’ll beat him up for you.” He offers and you laugh happily as you excitedly make your way over to him and wrap him in a tight hug.
”No, no nothing like that. Just a bit of teasing.” You explain as you bury your face in his worn cotton t-shirt. “And I’d never ask you to do that.” You scold him softly as he grins down at you while wrapping his arms tightly around you.
”The offer still stands.” He says with a shrug before guiding you into the apartment. “Wanna get changed in your pjs first and then we’ll eat on the couch while watching a drama?” He asks when he finally lets you go so that he could close and lock the door.
”Yes please.” You sigh out happily as you slip your shoes off and go to set the bag of dinner on the kitchen island and pull out the wine bottle as well. “I bought wine from the restaurant too. Sounded like something we’d enjoy.” You tell him over your shoulder as you walk away to the bathroom so that you could go get changed.
”Oooh, this is a good one. Good choice!” Hyunjin calls out and you chuckle softly as you quickly get changed into your pjs before walking back out to find that Hyunjin had already set up dinner on the coffee table and was just pulling up a recent drama that the two of you had gotten into. “C’mere Seoltang.” He calls from his spot on the couch and you grin while rushing over to tackle him in a tight hug causing him to laugh happily at your actions. The two of you stay like that for a few quiet moments before you remember the gift you had gotten him.
”Oh! Before we start. I have a gift for you.” You say with a hint of teasing and Hyunjin looks at you with wide eyes before he grins excitedly and holds his hands out.
”Gift, please!” He calls out and you laugh softly at him before shaking your head. He gasps and then dramatically throws himself on top of you groaning loudly. “I need whatever thoughtful gift you’ve gotten or I’ll perish Seoltang.” He cries out as he throws a hand up into the air and squints his eyes. “Darkness is already closing in! I Can feel death’s cold grip on me tightening.” He dramatically cries out and you laugh loudly as you shove him playfully off you before you reach for your tote bag and pull out the wrapped gift.
Hyunjin quickly sits up from his sprawled out position as he eyes the prettily wrapped gift with eager eyes. You look down at the gift in your lap and then look up at him with a teasing grin on your face. Hyunjin leans forward with wide pleading eyes and a pout on his lips trying to get you to give him his gift. You smile softly at him and lean over to press a sweet kiss to his forehead without even thinking about it, it just naturally came to you to do that.
”What’s the magic word?” You ask him softly and Hyunjin grins widely at you as his eyelids flutter with delight at your kiss.
”I love you.” He answers immediately before cupping your face and pulling you into a deep loving kiss that makes you squeak with surprise as Hyunjin smiles through the kiss. He pulls away softly and grins widely when your mouth moves to chase his making the love he holds in his body for you swell to consume him. He then pulls you back in for another kiss and whispers the confession between each kiss he gives you.
You’re giggling happily and adoringly as you try to pull away from him so that you can give him his gift before you give up and press the present into his chest before kissing him once again.
”I love you too.” You whisper against his mouth and Hyunjin practically beams at you before he pulls away and looks down at the gift in his hands. Quickly opening it his eyes widen as surprise and adoration fills him. He looks up at you with wide love filled eyes before he grabs onto your face and pulls you in for another deep loving kiss that he doesn’t let you up from for a few breathless moments.
SKZ Taglist: @intartaruginha, @kayleefriedchicken
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lisenberry · 5 months ago
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John Price is the sort of man to bend you into positions you had no idea you could even do
“John- John! Please I can’t-“
“Shhh sweet girl, look, your knees are already next to your head yeah? just hook… fuck you look fuckin filthy like this..”
Thank you for this good soup!
MDNI/NSFW/18+
Bossy Price is my favorite Price.
The king of talking you through it, and not taking no for an answer, he just wants to see you push past your boundaries a bit and try new things.
"I know it hurts, but just relax. You're doing so good. Just breathe. Big stretch."
The pull of your calves hooking behind your head, and the rough scratch of his hands against the underside of your thighs distract you from the tug of his cock at your exposed opening. You've never been this open before. You feel helpless and...seen.
Especially with him looking at you with wide eyes full of amazement, like you were some marvel painted on a chapel ceiling. Or a masterpiece carved from marble and displayed on a pedestal.
Your own hands uselessly clasping at his arms and fisting the sheets as he spreads you wider and pushes you deeper into the bed.
"I can't, John. It's too much." The strain on your muscles, the threat of fitting all of him at this angle, the weight of his massive body pinning you down.
"You've already done it, love. Just be good and still for me. Just like that. I know you can do it. Deep breath." His words punctuated by the obscene squelch of his thick, ruddy length forging a path inside, inch by inch. "Fuck, love."
Rude and clumsy, like a bull in a china shop, he loses the last thread of control he clung to and buries himself punishingly to the hilt. He calls you filthy and beautiful and just so good for him as he watches your walls soften to accept him with every thrust. Your greedy, tight grip when he drags back out again.
His gruff, inarticulate moans and platitudes fuel you on, bringing you closer and closer to heaven as you finally relax around him and just surrender. The struggle fades away until it's just you and him, and the relentless rhythm rocketing you further as he fucks you through your orgasm and comes hot and messy deep in your core.
When he catches his breath and fetches a towel to clean you up, you try (and fail) to move your legs back down.
"Give me a hand?" You giggle, sleepily when he returns. "I think I'm stuck."
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hannibals-favourite-meal · 2 years ago
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Sunshine and Flowers
Logan Howlett x plus size reader
Logan has had a great many loves in his long life and he’s over it. He doesn’t want to lose anyone else yet somehow, the annoying and very much younger art teacher at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters, wormed her way into his heart.
Warnings: grumpy and sunshine, jealousy, Logan is a dick but we been knew, reader is kind of oblivious and touch starved, age-gap (reader is mid 20s and Logan is old as shit), Logan POV, bit of a slow burn, reader and Logan are Keely and Roy coded
WC: 3.8k
Minors DNI
Dividers by @firefly-graphics
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“Yo Logan!” The seemingly ever present pounding in the older mutant’s temples suddenly got worse, the band around his forehead tightening as the young woman cheerfully skipped up to him without a care in the world. Her arm looped through his own, tucking herself into his side, like she always did. 
“What d’ya want?” He grumbled. It was easier to just ask her outright than stay silent and her chatter away at him for an hour before she finally got to her point. Y/N beamed up at him, her e/c eyes sparkling. “Wellllll… I was wondering if you wanted to come with me on a little field trip with the kids! I was thinking of bringing them to the MET, you know because art.” She waved her right hand around as if to emphasise her point. 
“No.” Logan said firmly. 
“Aw please! Please Logan! Please! Please! Please!” He could practically feel his blood pressure rising as Y/N pleaded with him, pulling on his arm, acting like a complete child. Dear god, what had he done to deserve this?
With the huge throngs of students constantly being enrolled in the school, Charles had come up with the bright idea to introduce an art program to the children as a way of “expressing their creativity”. But what that actually meant was hiring a new teacher specifically for this class since no adult in the school had even an ounce of artistic talent.
And so six months ago, Y/N Y/L/N, a recent college graduate, strolled into the mansion and never left. Her gift to generate small stars gave her the remarkable ability to light her classroom in any way she wished, allowing her students the perfect lighting to create absolute masterpieces. And like her gift, she herself was a big ball of endless energy that constantly bounced around, latching onto whoever she came across, and more often than not, that person was Logan.
For some inexplicable reason, she gravitated to him, always seeking his approval, trying to get him to engage in activities with their students, among many many other things that made the older man truly resent when the final bell of the school day rang and she would float into his classroom, ranting about something or another. The only way he could get her to stop was by distracting her, usually by shoving her in the general direction of her best friend, Alex Summers.
But Havok was on a road trip with Sean and Peter for the next month, so he had been abandoned. Logan sighed as her grating voice made his sensitive ears ring, and the overpowering smell of her flowery perfume was a downright assault on his senses. “Logan, come on! It’ll be soooooo much fun! I’ll even buy you lunch after!” 
While the temptation of free food was great, Logan knew it wouldn’t be worth spending the entire day with Y/N glued to his side, forcing him to do whatever she wanted. Taking a deep breath, prepared to let her down as gently as he could, given that his patience was hanging on by a thread, he would probably be more rude than he wanted to be, when he paused, really taking in the young woman.
“Is that my shirt?” He drawled, his dark eyes flicking over her plump body. She was wearing one of her typical outfits, white converse splashed with paint, shorts that very well could be called Daisy dukes, they were that short, with little flowers embroidered on them. Her chubby thighs almost entirely on view with one of his favourite red plaids on top of a black tank top instead of her usual blouse, making her sizeable cleavage pop. Y/N looked away bashfully. 
“Yeah, I um found it in the movie room and it looked so warm so I took it and it’s super comfy like seriously how do you get your shirts so soft it’s really weird but they always smell like cigars so I guess that’s the downside. That’s not to say you smell bad! I’m just saying that it’s like your trademark-“
There she went again. “It’s fine kid, just wash it before you give it back.” 
“What about the MET!” She called after him.
“Maybe.” He grumbled and with that he walked away, be-lining for the kitchen where he stashed his Vodka, losing her in the sea of students just getting out of class.
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“Now, for today’s class, we’re going to go over some art history!” A collective groan resonated through the room but Y/N’s bright smile never faltered, it actually got bigger as she looked over her small group of students sitting around the art-filled room. “I know, I know but this stuff is important! Art plays such a big role in human evolution. Actually, the argument can be made that our ability to create art is what truly sets us apart from other animal species-“
There was no denying that Miss Y/L/N’s class was a favourite among the young mutants. Her rants not only served to brighten up their day but they also prevented her from giving out any actual work. It especially helped when most of them came from Logan’s class the period before. He was quite well known to be, well there’s no delicate way to put this, a hard ass. 
So when, during this spring afternoon, with just a month left before summer break, Logan strode into the art class, his heavy boots thundering loudly against the hardwood floors, everyone was shocked. Y/N was pacing the room now, well and truly absorbed in her own thoughts, which became an impassioned speech as soon as the words formed in her mind. Logan cleared his throat as he leaned against the door jam, his jaw cleaned tightly when she didn’t answer or look at him.
The collection of children were now starting to get nervous as the seconds ticked by, Logan’s eyes getting steadily darker with anger, the muscle in his lower jaw working over under his mutton chops. They could all see his famous tempter growing and none of them wanted to be on the receiving end. “Um Miss?” A young girl spoke up, trying to break her train of thought. But nope, that couldn’t stop her.
Logan was getting fed up now. How in the hell did these kids even learn anything with the way she was carrying on? “Kid.” He growled, immediately making the entire class freeze, including the young teacher. 
“Oh Logan! Sorry, I didn’t see you there.” She laughed nervously, pulling on the edge of her sheer pink sleeve. He noted she was wearing a dress today, it was frilly and absolutely drowning in flower print, with translucent sleeves that went all the way down to her wrists.
“Right, Wheels needs us in his office. Now.” He pressed as she opened her mouth to point out she was in the middle of a lecture. Y/N nodded then addressed the class. “All right, students. I guess you’re getting out early today. No homework!” She was quick to jog out of the room before the kids were able to leave their seats, effectively avoiding the clambering mass of them trying to practically sprint out. 
Her smaller hand easily slipped into Logan’s bigger one, intertwining their fingers as her left hand came up to rest on his exposed forearm. He felt the cool of her metal rings against his skin. Unconsciously, he noted that he had never seen her wear any kind of jewellery before. “Did Charles say what he wanted?” Her eyes caught his brown ones, falling into step with the older mutant through the quiet halls. Logan just shrugged, fishing a half used cigar from his breast pocket and sticking the thoroughly chewed end in his mouth, a sharp canine slicing into it.
“Hmm.” She hummed, her gaze shifting down to her feet, trusting Logan to guide them to the headmaster’s office. “Do you think it’s a mission?” 
“He doesn’t send you on missions.” Logan said firmly. 
“Yeah I know but it could be! Stranger things have happened.” 
“Like what?” He humoured her.  
“How about Peter actually scoring a date~” She teased, making the Wolverine’s lip turn up briefly in a smile then dropped again into a frown before she could see. 
“You do have a point.” He conceded. They rounded the last corner and came to a stop outside the solid door of Charles’ office. Logan went to knock, a muffled ‘please come in’ sounded before his permanently bruised knuckles could meet the stained wood.
Charles sat behind his grand desk, glasses perched on the end of his nose as he looked over a mountain of paperwork that gave Y/N a headache just from looking at it. She pulled her hand from Logan’s and bounced over to one of the two chairs in front of the headmaster, immediately making herself comfortable. 
Clasping her hands on her lap with her back up straight, Y/N focused on the older mutant as he took off his reading glasses and laid them on what looked to be his grade book. Logan himself leaned against the doorjamb, much like he did in the young woman’s classroom, crossing his muscular arms over his broad chest. 
Charles sighed deeply as he looked at his teachers. “There really is no way to say this delicately so I suppose I’ll just say it: Erik’s come home.” Logan’s entire body seized with an emotion akin to fear.
“Fuck.” He snarled. But Y/N had an entirely different reaction. Her face visibly lit up but not with excitement but instead with the joy of someone who didn’t have to lie anymore. Charles raised an eyebrow at the young woman, prompting her to explain herself.
“He slept in my room last night, there was no other free space.” She said casually as if she hadn’t just dropped the bomb that she spent the night with a dangerous mutant who hadn’t hesitated to kill before. “Don’t worry! I was being safe. He slept on my couch.”
“Like that makes this whole thing any better.” Logan muttered under his breath but only Charles heard him. The telepath gave him a strange but knowing look before turning back to the young art teacher.
Her smile wavered only for a moment before returning with full force. “He was super nice to me! He even picked out my jewellery today.” She flashed her hands towards the headmaster, showing off the various silver rings that adorned her fingers. Logan huffed at her naivety but Charles had an entirely different reaction. He took her hands into his own, delicately tracing the metal with a soft touch.
“Erik did a good job, they look wonderful. But Y/N, I still want you to be wary. Erik can be very volatile and unpredictable and his abilities far outmatch your own. Just be careful.” She gave a firm nod. “Although, I believe you could do him some kind of good to be around someone who finds him tolerable.” Charles gave a not so subtle glance toward the Wolverine who scoffed and rolled his eyes.
An awkward and tense silence fell over the trio. Y/N cleared her throat, tugging on the hem of her dress which lay only an inch above her knees. “Is that all you wanted to tell us?”
“Well, I do need to speak to you about this art trip you have planned. Logan, you’re welcome to stay, you might find this information useful.” 
“Fuck no, I have better things to do with my time.” He regretted the words as soon as they left his lips. She visibly flinched at his words and her smile became so fake it made him ache. Charles’s own expression fell as he sat back in his high-back chair.
“Then if you’ll please excuse us, we have some things to discuss.” He said sternly, quite obviously not pleased with Logan’s rudeness. “Close the door on your way out.” 
As the door swung shut behind him, Logan caught the smallest whimper escaping her lips and the muffled words of his old friend consoling her.
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The manor was almost dead silent as Logan emerged from the cave that was his room. There were no sounds of footsteps (save for his own), or screaming or chatter, there wasn’t even the ever present clatter of utensils from the kitchen. 
Curiously, he wandered through the empty halls, occasionally glancing into the empty rooms he passed. Just as his dark brows began to furrow with concern, Ororo turned the corner, nose buried in a book. “Hey Storm.” Her dark eyes met his own.
“Logan?” She replied with a curious head tilt before returning to her book. Logan huffed through his nose.
“Where is everyone?” She gave him a strange look and glanced over her shoulder as if the answer to his question was just behind her. The young mutant snapped her book shut.
“At the MET? You know the big field trip that Y/N organised. I thought you were going with them. She has been talking about it for weeks.”  Logan’s frown deepened. That was today? Storm seemed to pause as she took in his stormy expression. “Oh, I guess you forgot. No wonder she was so upset when they left. I guess it’s a good thing Erik went with her then.”
Just then, noise exploded through the halls once more as dozens of feet stomped on the expensive hardwood. Ororo sighed heavily through her nose, upset at not being able to have a little more quiet to finish off her chapter. But Logan remained frozen in place, his veins filled with icy terror. “Repeat that last part?”
She glanced at him with a devastating side eye. “Evidently, Erik saw how upset she was this morning when you didn’t get on the bus so he decided to go with her to take care of the kids.”  She shrugged and tucked the leather-bound volume under her arm. “She looked like she was going to cry before he stepped up.”
Poison curled in his gut but he quickly stamped it down. Just then, kids and teens stampeded around the corner, hyped up on what Logan guessed to be sugar and excitement. And right smack dab in the middle was Magneto, his head thrown back in laughter, the corded muscles in his neck and shoulders rippling with the movement. His right arm was bent allowing for the soft hand of the younger woman to rest on his forearm. Y/N was smiling shyly at him, not used to the undivided attention he was giving her.
As they passed him, Logan caught her eye. She barely even gave him a glance but he saw the sadness deep within those e/cs and he knew it was because of him. She quickly looked away, drawing her gaze back to the dangerous mutant who was speaking once more, his laughter fading. But Logan couldn’t hear what he was saying over the roaring in his ears. 
He watched them until they disappeared into one of the many living rooms of the manor. “At least he got her smiling again.” He barely registered Ororo’s words before she too left him.
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This went on for weeks. It seemed that everywhere he turned, Logan would see the unlikely pair together. Whether that be baking in the middle of the night, reading quietly in the library, working on lesson plans, he even saw them training together! 
He watched them from afar as they grew closer and her pull away from himself until one day he was walking out of his classroom after a long day. “Wait up!” Unconsciously, Logan slowed his pace , a smile crawling upon his face. He expected the familiar weight of her touch against his arm, the smell of her floral perfume and the bright sound of her laughter but when a blur raced by him, his heart dropped.
Y/N flung herself at Erik who was just a few paces in front of him, wrapping her arms around his neck in a hug too tight to be just friendly. He caught her easily, his arms winding around her thick waist and tugged her closer. 
Logan forced himself to turn away, missing the sad look she cast him, heartbreak clear in her eyes.
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The end-of-school party was alive with laughter and music. Lights floated over the small dance floor that had been assembled in the gardens. Professors mingled on the wooden stage, swaying to the smooth acoustic guitar Kurt was strumming. But Logan’s attention was trapped on the centre of the crowd where a small circle of space had been formed and trying as hard as he might, he couldn’t look away. 
Y/N twirled in time with the music, her eyes shut as she let it wash over her. Her skin glowed in the golden sunset, the sweat along her brow sparkled like glitter as she moved. Pale green tulle embroidered with dozens of sunflowers floated around her, her dress fluttering in the light breeze. She was absolutely breath-taking. No weight rested on her shoulders nor anxiety in her face. She was serene, she was like a goddess in human form, dancing and delighting with mere mortals. 
How badly he wanted to stride across the gardens and take her into his arms, to feel her curves beneath his palms as they moved together. Logan shook himself from those thoughts and took another sip of whiskey. The alcohol burned as it slid down his throat but that was nothing compared to the burning rage in his stomach as another man approached her.
Erik, dressed in a matching dark green suit, caught her mid-twirl, his left hand holding her hips in place as he captured her left hand in his right. She fell easily into step with him, her once fluid movements becoming a slow waltz. 
Logan was so consumed in his anger that he hadn’t noticed another person walking to his side until they were right next to him.
“Why are you so worked up about this? You’ve made it very clear that you can barely even tolerate her.” Logan’s scowl deepened, his eyes growing even darker with rage as Hank spoke to him. “I mean even I’ve heard about the things you’ve said to her and I barely leave the lab.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Beast.” He didn’t bother to hide the way he was glaring at the pair. Almost as if in slow motion, Erik pressed his lips to her ear, speaking in a whisper so quiet, even Logan’s powerful hearing couldn’t pick it up. She pulled away from him for just a moment and hope bloomed in his chest. But it quickly died as she nodded in response.
Erik took her hand, their fingers intertwining as he led her away. Logan slammed his now empty glass down on the temporary bar behind him and stormed off towards the couple. The music faded away as he ran. 
Her laugh carried on the breeze, the skirt of her dress fluttering behind her. Logan ran faster, now regretting the tight suit pants and button-up he donned for the evening as they got steadily further and further away.
Without thinking, he made a sharp left, launching himself over the perfectly pruned flower beds Charles loved so much and tore through the gardens. Then suddenly, she was within sight. One heeled foot was over the threshold but he still had a chance.
With a final burst of speed he grabbed Y/N’s wrist before she could enter the manor, forcing her to let go of the other man. “Don’t go with him. Please.” 
“Logan, what are you doing?”
“I can’t let you go with him. Y/N, I-“ He swallowed harshly, his grip tightening ever-so-slightly. Y/N looked over her shoulder to the other mutant only to find him gone. “Fuck why can’t I just say it.”
Her body was fully turned to him now. “Say what?”
Taking in a deep breath, he looked into her eyes. “I love you.” The slap came out of nowhere, knocking the breath from his lungs. Y/N’s jaw was dropped in shock as if she didn’t see it coming either even though it was her hand that now burned with the sting of meeting his unshaven cheek.
“Let me go, who-who put you up to this?” She attempted to pull away from his hold but he wouldn’t let her go. 
“Y/N-“ He started but was quickly interrupted when she spoke again, tears spilling down her full cheeks and voice wavering.
“No. You can’t feel that towards me, you barely even like me. You’ve made that very clear over the past couple weeks, no the past year! You brush me off! You make me feel like an idiot! You ignored my blatantly obvious feelings for months and now you say something?!” 
“You feel the same?” He asked in disbelief. 
“Of course I do! That’s why I asked you to go to the MET with me. I was gonna bring you to the American wing where all the native art was because I know you love it so much and then I was going to tell you. But then you were just so awful to me when Erik got here and you forgot about the trip!” Once again, she tried to break his grip but Logan instead tugged her back and right into his broad chest.
With a massive paw, he cupped her soft jaw, forcing her to meet his gaze. “Can you just let me explain?” Her bottom lip popped out in a pout but she didn’t object. “I have lost so much, too much. Every woman I have ever loved has died because I loved them. And you, you are so young and so beautiful and way too kind for your own good. I love you more than anyone else and I guess that scared me. I pushed you away. But I can’t do it anymore, I can’t watch you fall for someone else.” 
“Goddamnit.” She growled before her arms shot out and wrapped around the back of his neck so she could yank his face down to her level, and then she kissed him.
Stars burst around them like little fireworks as he pulled her closer by the small of her back. Her hands travelled from his neck downwards so her fingers could curl into his shirt like she was terrified that this was all just some dream. 
“You do anything even remotely close to that whole fiasco again and I will let Erik do whatever he wants to you.” She murmured against his lips.
“Just kiss me again, sunshine.” And she did.
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lovebugism · 2 years ago
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oh my god,,,, gurl!!!! THE CUSTOMER'S ALWAYS RIGHT fic is sooo good 😫 my heart literally breaks every time I read this story. Thank you for blessing us with this masterpiece <3
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THE CUSTOMER'S ALWAYS RIGHT | square one
summary: eddie makes a confession that's been weighing heavy on his heart. you realize that your future with him is haunted by ghosts from your past. pairing: virgin!eddie munson / f!reader word count: 16.3k warnings: hopper, steve, and robin being the reader defense squad, hints at reader's previously poor mental health, mentions of abusive and toxic relationships, a banshees of inisherin quote, b*lly h*rgrove because he needs a warning. (pretend any typos don't exist pls and thank u!) a/n: guess who's back, back again? ✨✨ i'd apologize for disappearing for a month, but then there'd be apologies in all my notes, so just know that i'm sorry every time i disappear unexpectedly, okay? 🥲 thanks for being so patient! please enjoy this long-awaited installment of tcar ily <3
( PREVIOUSLY ) | ( SERIES MASTERLIST ) | ( NEXT )
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Eddie’s got a 1986 Van Halen tape in his boombox and a baby pink heart stitched into the fabric of his shirt. He’s the least metal he’s ever been, but he couldn’t be happier.
You keep your promise to him to patch up his torn Hellfire tee. If anything, you use the absentminded assurance as your excuse to see him again. The night you shared before, all but baring your scarred souls underneath glittering stars and streams of pale moonlight, hadn’t satiated your hunger for him. Eddie left you craving in a way you weren’t used to before — a yearning to be close to him that went beyond the boundaries of physical intimacy.
It was a simple sort of longing. It was a homesickness. A sense of nostalgia for a love you’d never felt before.
You wish you could wear Eddie’s adoration for you like a blanket, wrap yourself in the hand-stitched quilt of many colors and bundle it tighter around your shoulders when the cold comes. You want his softness to hold you in a way you’ve never been able to hold yourself.
You feel swaddled in it, succumbed and cloaked and at peace in all his tenderness. You’ve never been so at ease, so blissfully comforted by the presence of another human being. And Eddie feels all of that, every ounce of warmth you feel, because it pours out of you like rays of sunshine and bathes him in shades of gold.
He didn’t think you could get any softer than you had been that night at Skull Rock, until you were nestled in his unmade bed the next morning. You curled your legs underneath you as you weaved the needle and thread through the tear in his t-shirt, eyes squinted and tongue poking out the side of your mouth in an astute concentration. 
All of the sudden, you were marshmallow fluff and honey on toast — made of all things sickly sweet that made his stomach feel suddenly full. 
You finish mending the rip in record time and beam when he wears the heart-shaped stitching with pride. The rest of the day thereafter was spent in the tiny confines of his one hundred square-inch bedroom. From there, the both of you came to the silent understanding that you didn't want to spend another day apart.
The weekend had given you a limited sort of freedom, allowed you to pretend that you lived in a world with no responsibilities or anything other than Eddie Eddie Eddie, but adulthood made you no such promises. He had a side job to do to keep himself afloat, and you had a cat that thought it was the end of the world anytime you were gone for longer than a night. Both of those things together meant that the eve of parting was ultimately inevitable.
Every second you spent away from Eddie felt like you were grieving.
You mourned for him in the darkness of your apartment and tried to pretend you weren’t half a person in the cat food aisle at Melvald’s.
You tried to lessen the unbearable distance with phone calls, though it didn’t come nearly as close as feeling his fingers thrumming imaginary beats on your thigh or his heartbeat thudding against your ear. 
But his voice filled the emptiness of your one-bedroom apartment and the Eddie Munson shaped hole he’d left just behind your ribcage, and that was good enough for you.
When you weren’t with him, you were roaming around your apartment like some kind of ghost, with the phone tucked between your ear and shoulder and the rotary clutched in your free hand. 
You cook yourself dinner with him ranting about his day in your ear. You hold the receiver closer to Bowie and force him to hear her purr when she’s being exceptionally cute. He falls asleep some hours later to the sound of your soft snores, and you wake up the next morning to the sounds of his.
It was pathetic, truly.
You’d be gagging at how sweet it was if it wasn’t happening to you.
But it was.
Every ounce of this sticky sweet goodness was yours, and it tasted just like honey on your tongue. 
It was the honeymoon stage times a thousand, all rose-colored and reflecting light — your own personal utopia. It brought with it a heavenly sort of refuge, a bubble of peace you never wanted to pierce.
Eddie basks in the serenity of it all when he finally has you with him again. You’re in his lap, on his lips, and all over him, but it still isn’t quite close enough. He doesn’t think he’ll be satisfied until you’ve successfully melted with him and your limbs have entwined with his like tree roots, destined to remain that way for the next couple of centuries or so.
And it’s weird because he could hardly handle living in such a tiny trailer with Wayne, let alone stomach more than a couple hours with the guys from Hellfire all in one place. But you? You entered his life all at once and now he can’t remember what it was like without you.
He doesn’t particularly want to, if he’s being real honest.
It’s why he’s always less enthused about letting you leave when you’ve both got responsibilities dragging you apart. He begs you to stay with him a few hours more, pleads for you to stick around while he makes a quick deal or an emergency pick-up when Dustin Henderson calls and says he needs a ride. 
And you promise you’ll wait on him there, because he makes it virtually impossible to say no to his rosy pouted lips and chocolate syrup puppy dog eyes.
That’s when you run into Wayne for the first time, when Eddie’s out and you’re making breakfast for when he comes back.
French toast and scrambled eggs sizzle on the stove and warm the kitchen with all its cinnamon confections. It makes the man’s face screw up in confusion when he steps inside the trailer because he’s never known Eddie to cook a day in his life. And then his eyes find you — a young, pretty girl all alone in his kitchen with his nephew’s van gone from the drive.
“…Who the hell are you?” he wonders gruffly and pops a cigarette between his lips, totally unbothered.
He’s got no reason to be intimidated by the stranger in his trailer. He’s more confused than anything else, and he’s got this contorted look on his face like he’s blaming the exhaustion from the graveyard shift for his vision of you.
“Oh— my god,” you mumble through the mouthful of whipped cream you’d squeezed into your mouth moments prior. You fight to swallow it all down. “Uh. Hi. I’m, um… I’m Eddie’s... girlfriend?”
It sounds like you’re lying. 
In some ways, it feels like you are. 
You’ve been spending more time in his trailer than in your own home, but it’s not like either of you has motioned to make anything official just yet.
He eyes you with a tired and heavy gaze, eyes as dark and as infinite as Eddie’s. The man gives you a once-over and then chuckles lowly to himself as he tosses his corduroy jacket onto the back of the recliner and his tin lunchbox to the coffee table.
You shift awkwardly on the other side of the room. “…What is it?”
“When Eddie said he was talkin’ to a pretty girl on the phone every night, I thought he was lyin’,” he admits through hearty chuckles. 
It makes you laugh too. 
There’s little talking after the fact, besides you offering him some of the breakfast on the stove and him joking that you should come around more often.
You recount the story to Eddie when he returns, utterly mortified about the whole thing. You’re even more embarrassed when the boy finds amusement in your horror and starts to chuckle to himself — not exactly at you, but not with you either.
He laughs louder when you swat at him for it. You clamber on top of him, mattress squeaking mattress under your weight, as you demand him to stop through giggles of your own.
Somewhere down the line, both of you stop caring. 
Neither of you is quite sure where the conversation stopped and ended, only that when you started kissing, you couldn’t stop. 
They weren’t innocent little pecks, but they weren’t sloppy and full of tongue either. You press your lips together with the intent of being as close as you can to the other, like you haven’t spent every second you could together.
Neither of you will be satisfied until you’ve swallowed each other whole.
And you, you’ve got this ache for him. A swirling of want that’s constantly rippling in your belly for this boy. He’s just not usually under you when it’s happening — and now that he is, the crackling embers have burst into white and blue flames behind your sternum.
Your lips click each time you part, a lewd noise you never want to stop hearing. The sound of it gives you goosebumps, like a good song you’ve just heard on the radio. You wonder if Eddie can feel them as his hands start to creep up beneath your shirt and find purchase along your waist. 
You open his mouth with your own and sneak your tongue inside just as you roll your hips over his lap.
It’s the most forthcoming either of you had been in your three-day stint of nonstop talking. Even when you were over at the trailer, totally alone and pressed underneath him, it was otherwise completely innocent. You just make out like a couple of teenagers until one of you wants to make a food run or offers to roll a joint. 
And you like that. You like that he doesn’t expect anything from you, but it does get a little agonizing when you’ve tried every attempt to give yourself to him and he just won’t take it.
Like usual, Eddie tenses when he feels you grinding on top of him — partly because he feels a tingle at the base of his spine when he gets instantly half-hard, but mostly because he knows there’s nothing he can do about it.
He keeps preaching to himself it’s not the right time, it’s not the right time, it’s not the right time — but he’s got no idea when it’ll ever be the right time, if it’ll ever be the right time, or if he’ll know it when it comes.
Because he’s had you to himself for days now — no Wayne, no responsibilities, no pressure — with his tongue rutting against yours and your hands fidgeting with the metal buttons of his jeans, and it still doesn’t feel good enough. Eddie doesn’t feel good enough.
He’s not sure if he ever will.
And it’s not you. God, it’s the farthest thing from you. As far as Eddie’s concerned, he’s never had more fun with anyone else. He’s never laughed harder with anyone else. He’s never felt as comfortable with anyone as he’s starting to feel around you. So he’s not entirely sure why he finds the rest of it so hard. 
Eddie wants you so bad that the ache of all his yearning is palpable. It’s like the weight of it is what’s keeping him from you — unstoppable force, immovable object, blah, blah, blah. 
Either way, it leaves him entirely unable to take things further with you, however much he wants to. There’s something in his way and it’s him. 
Your heartache is his own when he has to pull away from you.
“You okay?” you ask him with wide eyes and swollen lips, always so concerned for him.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good,” he’s quick to assure you. He’s still breathless when he fidgets beneath you, trying to prop himself up on his headboard without rubbing his half-hard cock against your thigh.
When he succeeds, he musters a smile that shakes at the edges. “It’s just… you know, not everything… It doesn’t have to be about sex, you know?”
He makes himself as soft as possible for you when he says this. He gets rid of all the usual teasing lilts that tend to lurk on his tongue as the words spill from his mouth. The last thing he wants to do is hurt your feelings or, in some roundabout way, make you think you’re the problem. 
He just wants you to know that that isn’t why he’s been wanting to spend so much time with you. There was never an ulterior motive with him other than all the adoration he holds in his hands and his mouth for you.
The strike of hurt that flashes across your face is obvious to only Eddie, who’s spent enough time mapping out your features to know what twitches are ones of discontent. The slight frown that dips between your brows when they scrunch together for half a second comes like a stroke of lightning. It’s a brief flash of purple in the sky that leaves so quickly that it makes you wonder if it was ever there at all.
You fidget on his lap, not resting as comfortably upon him as you had been just moments before. “Oh…” you murmur through soft, jutted-out lips. “Sorry. I, I didn’t—”
“No, it’s not— that’s not what I—” he tries to assure over your insecure stammers, but succeeds only in tripping over himself in return. He cuts himself off with a breathy laugh, shaking his head while his fingers fidget on your hips. “That’s just not what this is about for me, you know? I just… I wanna spend time with you.”
It’s easily the softest thing he’s ever said to you — to anybody, for the matter — and the marshmallow sweetness of it all wraps around you like wisps of pink cotton candy.
Your apprehensiveness twists into something lighter, a pair of twinkling eyes and a bashful smile.
“Oh,” you hum again, obviously more pleased than before. “That’s nice…”
“No one’s ever said that to you before, have they?” Eddie asks you.
He tries to muster a crooked smirk as the words leave his mouth, but he’s got a feeling he already knows the answer. Hearing you affirm his suspicions will do nothing more than make him angry at all the assholes that had you before him, at everyone who taught you that you were good for sex and hardly a thing else. 
It makes him wish that he’d gotten to know you sooner. Maybe then you’d understand that he’d be happy just holding you like this and never doing anything more.
You don’t answer him verbally, just shake your head with your lips pursed softly to the side. You look more innocent than anything he’s ever seen before, even with your lipstick smeared on your chin. 
He’s still not quite sure how someone could be so reckless with such a fragile thing — to watch you break and not spend the rest of time grieving to know that you’ll never be quite the same again. 
There’s a primal instinct that swims in him then, an urge to keep you in his arms and locked in the confines of his trailer forever and ever. He wants to keep the wolves of Hawkins, Indiana from ever getting a whiff of you again. It’d be more than they deserved, anyway.
“God, you have got to get better boyfriends, sweetheart,” Eddie tells you with a playful lilt in his voice despite the anger simmering in his belly.
“Isn’t that what you are?” you giggle.
His world stops.
“Huh?”
You tense at his tenseness. Only when he’s gaping at you does the weight of your words dawn on you. “…Huh?”
The awkward moment goes as quickly as it arrives, chased out by the fit of laughter the two of you are quickly thrown into. Your entwining chuckles rise like smoke in his tiny bedroom and then settle back over you like a fuzzy blanket.
“Are you asking me to be your boyfriend, babe?” Eddie teases.
“Of course not,” you scoff. “Babe.”
“Oh, right, of course not. That would be way too crazy considering we’ve spent, like, every day together and have made each other come… what is it now? Twice?”
“Three times for me,” you correct with you a smile. “You need to catch up, Eddie Spaghetti.”
“Another time?” he offers with a scrunched nose.
“Whenever you want.”
Eddie is grateful for your lack of urgency, even more so for the kiss you press to the tip of his nose. 
You peck him on the lips after — once, twice, and then a thiiird, drawn out time — before moving on to his chin and jaw and neck. Whatever part of him you can reach (which is just about everywhere, considering the vantage point you’ve got sitting on his lap), you sprinkle a kiss to it.
It’s an innocent sort of affection, the kind that makes him wonder how it ever came to be in the first place. What evolutionary measures led to this, to you pressing your lips to his skin to show how much you care about him? Eddie doesn’t really want to know the answer, he’s just grateful that it happened in the first place.
You’re so good at it, loving on him. You’re always so kind and so gentle in your way and it makes him feel guilty. There’s a lingering feeling of undeservedness that settles something heavy at the base of his stomach. How could he ever expect you to be so open with him when he hasn’t done the same for you?
A heavy sigh rattles in his deflating chest. 
“I gotta tell you something, sweetheart,” he cautions when your lips smack against the thrumming pulse below the left side of his jaw. “Something you’re not gonna like…”
A billion things run through your head all at once. When you part from him, he can see the rollercoaster of emotions each one of them puts you through.
Your first instinct is that he’s got some kind of partner he’s kept hidden from you until now. It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve gone steady with a guy who’s then told you about some other girlfriend he had — or, god forbid, a wife. 
But then you realize that you surely would’ve had some sort of inkling if that were the case. There’s no way Eddie would’ve been able to spend every second of his day with you — and then another several hours on the phone when you had to leave — without someone else coming along to burst your bubble. 
And so far, there haven’t been any angry wives, just the occasionally confused Uncle Wayne.
Then you start thinking he’s about to tell you he wants an open relationship. The you’re great, but I’m just not ready to settle down yet spiel that you’ve heard a thousand times before. Usually when people say that, they mean that they just don’t want to settle down with you.
You’ll become some douchebag’s fuck toy for a month or more until the girl next door comes around. He gets her knocked up in record time, his family forces him to marry her, and they begin their cushy lives together in the center of some cul-de-sac — really settle down, as it were.
You’re not sure if you could take that from Eddie. You could grin and bear if it you had to, take whatever attention he’s willing to give you because who cares if he’s giving it to someone else on the side? You’re just not sure how long you’d last like that.
And then you start to worry that he’s just going to break up with you entirely — it’s not you, it’s blah, I’ll always care about blah, please don’t tell anyone about how we blah-ed. That whole talk. 
All the rest of your worries stop mattering so much because you’ve only just called him your boyfriend. And here he goes, about to end it all before it can really even start. That’d be just your luck, you figure.
“Did I do something wrong?” you caution after a few moments of heavy silence.
Eddie’s bleeding heart wrenches at your words, at how sad they sound spilling from your mouth, and how you immediately think that it’s got something to do with you. 
He shakes his head feverishly in response. “No. No, it’s not you. You’re… you’re perfect.”
“Okay…” you concede quietly, voice trembling with a lingering disbelief.
“I just… I haven’t been totally honest with you, you know?” the boy admits before his glimmering chocolate eyes fly open and he corrects himself quickly. “And I haven’t lied to you or anything. Not— Not exactly. I just… I wanna be honest with you… As your boyfriend and all.”
You can tell by the sudden weight in his voice that he’s serious. But the fine coat of glowing rose that splotches Eddie’s cheeks after calling himself your boyfriend for the first time makes you melt. 
You smile to yourself and start to trace the heart you’d stitched into his t-shirt with your finger.
“Yeah. I mean, we are about to spend our two minutes anniversary together and everything.”
“Exactly,” the boy huffs out a laugh. It lacks its usual jest, though, because of the ice-cold anxiety that drenches him from head to toe and makes his hands and feet go numb.
His fingers tremble where the rest on your waist, trying and failing to find a comfortable position there because, right about now, Eddie feels the most awkward he’s ever felt.
“I just want you to know that I… I’ve never done this before,” he confesses quietly and with his eyes squeezed shut. He prays that he doesn’t have to be any less vague than that.
Your face twists in confusion — your brows furrow and your nose twitches and your head tilts to the side like a puppy. And then you’re laughing, a soft little thing of a giggle that normally makes his heart sing, though now he can only feel it breaking.
“What…?” he tries to scoff out his own chuckle. “Why are you laughing?”
“Because you’ve already told me that, dummy. That you’ve never felt this way before…” you answer, reciting his own words back to him. You haven’t yet forgotten how he’d looked at you as you said them, pale skin made silk under the moonlight while he sparkled beneath the beams of it and his love for you. 
“No, it’s… it’s more than that,” he corrects. “I’ve never even had a girlfriend before you. Or anything really.”
You still don’t seem to understand. You just look on at him with uncertainty. 
A quiet “okay?” tumbles from your mouth entwined with a nervous giggle, because you don’t understand what’s got him so somber. He’s never dated anyone, you’ve fucked half of Hawkins — these are just facts that went unsaid before now. 
And maybe it’s because you’ve never been with a virgin before, but the thought that Eddie might be one hasn’t seemed to cross your mind at all. 
It’s that exact thought that scares him. 
Because if it hasn’t already, maybe it’s because you’re avoiding it altogether. And why would he ever be the exception?
He opts to bite the bullet and hopes that his heart doesn’t get broken after.
“I’m a virgin. Okay? I’m a complete, total, proper adult virgin,” he blurts with a brazenness he’d previously lacked when it came to all this. “And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before now, but I didn’t, because I liked you and I was scared. So if you wanna yell at me or if you wanna break up with me before our five-minute anniversary, I totally get it, but I should probably let you know that it’ll rip my little virgin heart to shreds, so…”
Eddie ends his nervous ramble with a trembling, lopsided smile that does little to ease the leaden tension he’s just manufactured in the four walls of his bedroom.
He can’t seem to gauge your reaction after the fact, which is strange because he always knows what you’re thinking. 
He knows when you’re laughing with him and not at him. You scrunch your nose and giggle when he tells you a funny joke, then tilt your head back and cackle when he trips over the punchline. 
He knows the exact moment when something’s started to bother you — when you get real quiet in your bubble of reserved stillness and your eyes start to glaze over. To anyone else, it might just look like a person who’s keeping to themselves. Eddie’s starting to learn that usually means trouble when it comes to you.
He knows the difference between your gentle sort of sadness and when you’re damn near inconsolable. When you cried at the end of Stand By Me, you smiled at him with a glassy tear-filled gaze, then rolled your eyes when he tried to comfort you. The tears only spilled over when you laughed because Eddie pretended you’d hurt him when you’d shoved him away. 
But when you’re really upset about something, you don’t show him at all — you fight to keep it all to yourself until you’ve squished the problem into a tiny enough ball that you can forget about all of it.
This is something different.
There’s too much crossing your mind all at once for him to get a good read of you.
You just gape at him, like you’re trying to figure out if he’s joking or not, and then fighting to understand what it means when you realize he’s being serious. 
And just when you’ve started to wrap your head around it all, when your brain remembers how to make words again and you realize you haven’t said anything in several agonizing seconds, a foreign voice sounds from down the hallway.
Not foreign in that it was unfamiliar exactly, just foreign in that you and Eddie had spent so much time alone that you were starting to forget that there was an entire world outside of yourselves. A great big world, filled with a great many people, some of whom were your friends who tended to get pretty worried about you.
“Edward Wayne— why the hell is the Chief in my driveway?” his uncle curses from the living room, sounding like he’s speaking through a cigarette in his mouth.
Eddie himself is immediately freaking the fuck out because he figures he must’ve gotten tipped off again. He tries to calculate the quickest way to get you off of him and to all of his cubby holes full of miscellaneous drugs so he can flush them down the toilet before Jim Hopper busts the door down.
And even though you’re not the drug dealer who’s had cops on their ass since they were fifteen in this equation, you look a whole lot more terrified than Eddie does.
Your eyes go wide and the whites of them swim with terror as you launch yourself off of his lap. You don’t spare another glance back at him, not even when you nearly trip over yourself when you shove your sneakers on your feet and shuffle out of the room. He’s forced to follow behind you like a confused puppy as you bound through the trailer at lightning speed. 
The haste of your movements startles even Wayne, who halts mid-puff of his cig when you’re in and out of the living room before he can blink. The opening squeak of the screen door and metal slamming against metal is the only thing that punctuates your exit.
“Would it kill you to answer your damn phone every once in a while?” the powerful timbre of Jim Hopper’s angry voice, of which only the man himself could pull off, is muffled until Eddie cautiously slinks onto the porch behind you. 
He finds the chief standing beside the Cruiser he’s parked sideways. The door of it is still flung open. A distant beeping sounds from the ignition. 
He’s still got on the pressed khakis of his uniform — complete with the golden badge pinned to his chest, darkened sunglasses on the bridge of his nose, and flat-brimmed hat on his head. Even with the majority of his face covered, it does little to hide the anger that radiates off of him like a hot stove eye.
You remain on the porch, shifting your weight on your feet at the top of the steps. “Okay, Hopper, just listen to me for a second—”
“Three days!” he shouts over you, not deterred by your composed nature. “I have been calling you… for three days! Seventy-two hours. No answer!”
Eddie decides to speak up from behind you despite his better judgment. “Yeah, uh, that was kinda my fault,” he confesses with an awkward laugh. “Wouldn’t let her hang up the phone—”
“I’ll deal with you in a second,” Jim interjects firmly and without thinking. He goes back to berating you with an admirable finesse. “Buckley wanted my head on a pike when I wouldn’t file a missing person’s report in the first twenty-four hours, but seventy-two? She was gonna kill me!”
Rather than argue with him, like every fiber of your being so desperately wants to, you make the difficult choice to concede with a heavy sigh. Because you don’t doubt that Robin was on his ass the second she realized you weren’t answering your phone or at your apartment when she and Steve dropped by.
She did tend to be on the overprotective side, after all, which obviously paired well with her melodramatic disposition.
“I’m sorry, okay? I’ve just been… busy.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard the one before,” the man answers bitterly.
“It’s different, Hopper!”
“I’ve heard the one before, too!”
Eddie can only assume that the both of you are communicating telepathically, what with the way your synchronized glares seem to say a thousand words (probably every curse imaginable, if he had to guess) without your mouths ever moving once. 
He stands on the outskirts of it all, feeling a bit stuck in the thorniness of such a tense silence, like any slight movement might cut him.
Jim moves slowly, akin to a creeping snake, as his hands raise to remove the glasses from his face. Their lack reveals the ice-cold glare that was previously hiding beneath them.
“Get in the car—” 
“—No,” you reject just as the direction leaves his mouth because you knew it was coming.
Jim inhales sharply and smacks his lips against his teeth, like a father whose child is most ardently testing his patience. He plants his work boot in the gravel and his hand on his hips. His steel gaze goes far off for a moment before flitting back to you again.
“…Get in the car or I put you in handcuffs.”
Your breath hitches at the threat. You squint over at him. “You wouldn’t.”
Jim smiles at you, but it’s more threatening than anything else. “We both know that I would.”
Eddie’s eyes flit between the both of you. He can tell that Hopper’s serious and that you’re trying to decide whether or not to call his bluff, with your arms crossed defensively over your chest and lips pursed in a tight line.
You ultimately decide not to. Because Hopper has, in fact, done that before. And even though the circumstances are very, very different, you wouldn’t put it past him to do it again. So you all but stomp your foot like a protesting child and spin on your heel to storm back inside the trailer.
Eddie’s nervous gaze flits between your disappearing form and the storm cloud of a police chief standing in his driveway. When their eyes lock, he realizes he should probably say something. He cocks his thumb over his shoulder and stammers, “I should— I should probably…”
He doesn’t finish his sentence. He catches the front door before it shuts and slithers through the crack of it to follow in behind you.
“Wait, was he— was he being serious about that?” Eddie wonders once you’re back in his bedroom.
It feels a lot less cozy than it did minutes before, less like the bubble of refuge that you thought nobody could pierce and more like a lonely space that feels entirely too empty. You pluck your things scattered around his room, and it starts to feel less and less like home with parts of you gone from it.
“I don’t know,” you answer within a sigh as you collect your cardigan from the back of his desk chair and shrug the thing back over your shoulders again.
“But it’s happened before?”
“Yeah. Once. When I was…” you confess quietly, then trail off. You get your bag from his nightstand and haphazardly shove your scrunchie, sunglasses, and chapstick into the bottom of it. “…When I was in a bad way— it doesn’t matter now.”
Eddie so desperately wants to pry.
He’d wanted to make a joke before, about the handcuffs — something less than tasteful about them and you and Hopper and some good ol’ freaky deaky that you'd scold him for after. But he decides not to now because you sound so strangely solemn about the whole thing, as though it was a story you buried deep with the intent of never bringing it up again.
“You don’t have to go with him if you don’t want to, you know that, right?”
“Of course, I do,” you scoff at his worries, not nearly as threatened by Jim as the rest of Hawkins. You move to stand in front of him in the center of his room and meet his furrowed brows with a soft grin. “He’s not gonna do anything, he’s just pissed. He’ll berate me on the drive back to my apartment and then it’ll be like nothing ever happened.”
That seems to please Eddie well enough, though he’s still a bit disheartened at your leaving.
“I guess we couldn’t keep spending time together like this, huh?” he teases lightly, like the realization of it doesn’t make his chest ache. “Sorta forgot about the rest of the world… whatever that is.”
“It was fun while it lasted,” you tell him with a shrug and a whimsical sigh.
“Wait for me, will ya?” he jokes, if only to make you laugh and to feel like he’s stuck in some sickly sweet ending of a romcom for a couple moments more. 
You roll your eyes at his dramatics but let him wrap you in his arms anyway. His hands find purchase on your elbows, thumbs rubbing soothingly along the outsides of them. “How about a kiss, then?” he offers when the urge to feel you because too great to bear. “For our ten-minute anniversary and all?”
“You never have to ask me, Eds,” you assure with a laugh. You rise to the tips of your toes and he meets you halfway. 
Home is in your mouth. It’s warm and cozy and safe there. It’s easily the most familiar place he’s ever known, with your bottom lip nestled between his own. He feels homesick when you part from him. 
“You’re not mad at me?” he wonders quietly, feeling a bit like a cowering child from where he stands in front ahead of you — eased only when you shake your head almost immediately in response.
“No. I couldn’t be even if I wanted to, I think.”
“Okay. That’s… That’s good.”
“We can talk about it later, if you want. After I get lurch off my ass.”
He tries not to smile too wide, but it’s hard not to beam every time he looks at you. “Yeah. Sure. I’ll… I’ll see you around, I guess?” he stumbles over himself, having forgotten how to say goodbye to you. 
It’s equally as hard for you too, it seems, because you nod at him and turn to leave and then realize once you’re halfway down the hallway that you might not survive if you don’t kiss him again. 
So you turn and rush back, catching Eddie with his back turned and spinning him around so you can peck him again. You feel his cheeks heat beneath your palm and his sigh against your cupid’s bow and his lips melt against your own.
You etch each tingling sensation into the edges of your mind in the hope that you won’t drive yourself completely insane when you inevitably start to miss him like crazy. 
You focus on that and on him when you find Hopper and his stupid proud dad smirk. It’s the only reason you don’t punch him in the jaw and tuck and roll out of the Cruiser when the silence becomes so slowly insufferable.
You’re starting to think Jim left the radio off on purpose. You’ve never known the guy not to drive around without the strumming of an old-school folk song to accompany him. You figure it must be some sort of intimidation tactic, to make you so uncomfortable that you break. You’re a lot closer to that than either of you realize.
You spare a glance over at the man next to you. He hasn’t looked at you once since you get in the car. He’s got one hand at three o’clock on the steering wheel and the other with its elbow propped up on the door as he scratches at the stubble on his jaw. 
He’s too at ease not to be bothered. This is obviously some kind of front he’s putting on to conceal his inner irritation.
You give on the lecture you’d been trying to prepare yourself for and exhale sharply through your nose. Your fingers fidget on your thighs as you kick your restless feet up on the console. 
“Get your feet off the dash,” Jim scolds without missing a beat. 
You huff and obey. “Okay, this is crazy— can’t you just yell at me already?”
He barely wastes a second.
“I cannot believe you right now!” he seethes through gritted teeth, stewing in a dad-like sort of anger.
“It was three days, Hopper!”
“You know what happened the last time no one heard from you for three days?” he shouts back. 
You tip your head back against the seat and groan. You should’ve known he was going to play that card. 
He waves an accusatory finger between the both of you. “You and me— we had a deal, remember? You let me check in on you. You agreed to that. You visit your little high school friends, and I see you at work, so I can make sure you’re not off somewhere killing yourself.”
Hopper becomes a casualty to the tense silence he created then, when you don’t retort with some comeback of your own and force him to feel every ounce of pressure from the leaden quiet. 
He sighs a great big, too loud sigh and shifts in his seat. His softening gaze flits between you and the road. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean it like that, okay? I just meant it, you know, figuratively. I wasn’t… trying to be mean.”
“When have you ever cared about being mean?” you monotone.
“I don’t,” he assures. “I’m just not trying to hurt your feelings, alright? Jeez…”
You try not to take too much pride in the man’s half-apology, though you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t a little bit rewarding.
Jim Hopper’s practically an iceberg. He only melts for his kid, Joyce Boyers, and you, apparently. 
It’s why he’s always so damn protective over you. He’s developed this sort of deep-rooted urge to keep you safe after watching you make every wrong decision a human being could possibly make. And when you mess up, because you do mess up, he feels like it’s partially his fault — that, if he’d done more, he could’ve kept you safer. 
It makes you feel like a burden most of the time, but you know it’s above yourself and mostly out of your control.
You’d known of each other for a while before you really met, because a troublemaker and police chief in such a small town are bound to. But somewhere down the line, he found you in a valley of mourning for someone that was still alive and you found him in a black hole of grief for someone who wasn’t. The empty and infinite voids within you both were stitched slowly together all over again. 
Jim Hopper was the dad you never had. You were the daughter he couldn’t.
And you thought something might change after he adopted El. You figured he might forget about you because it wasn’t like it was his job to watch after you or anything. Playing pretend always felt nice, but you knew it wasn’t real. 
It was to Jim, though, who’d developed a similar adoration for you as the one he had for Sara. He hasn’t been able to forget about you in the same way he hasn’t been able to forget about her. 
Every night, after he’s scrubbed the day off his body and washed it all down with a lukewarm beer, he lays on his pull-out bed in the small living room of his cabin and goes through a checklist in his head. 
He makes sure that he’s checked on El and reminds himself to wake up early to make her breakfast the next morning before he brings Joyce coffee at Melvald’s — Joyce. She always comes next on his list, always right after El, and then you. 
He forces himself to calm down when his blood pressure inevitably spikes at the thought of not having heard from you all day. He reminds himself that he saw you at work on his lunch break and that he’ll see you again tomorrow.
Jim hums to himself as he settles more comfortably into his springy cot, deciding that he’ll try a new wine he can’t pronounce when he sees you at Enzo’s the next day and that he’ll drink it while he rambles about Joyce or El’s new boyfriend.
He drifts to sleep with thoughts of Sara.
You’re as ingrained into his mind as every other person he’s grown to love.
He stopped worrying about never getting you out a long time ago. Like a tomato sauce stain on a dress shirt, he knows he’ll never get you out of his head. He knows even more so that he doesn’t want to — no matter how much you annoy him or how angry you make him when you don’t answer his calls.
“Sorry…” you murmur and swallow down whatever mundane argument you could’ve spewed then, at the result of his sudden warmth. You turn to gaze out the window and trace the edges of the puffy white clouds with your eyes. “I wasn’t thinking about that — the… deal, or whatever… Honestly, I was a little too busy being happier than I think I’ve ever been in my life, so…”
You don’t see the dramatic eye roll he gives you in response, but you can’t miss the hearty groan that spills from his mouth. 
“What?” you laugh in response. “Have you never been a kid in love before?”
It’s almost jarring how he goes from huffy to concerned in a fraction of a second. His head snaps over to you, jaw clenched and eyes suddenly stern and swimming with a lingering fear. 
“Love?” he repeats like he must’ve heard you wrong. “Love— That’s— That’s what this is?”
You shrug. “I don’t know… Maybe…”
His eyes flutter shut for a moment. “Please don’t tell me you’ve said that to each other yet. This guy was just a crush four days ago.”
“No, Hopper. We haven’t. I mean, he literally just told me he was a virgin, so I don’t think we’re even close to—”
“A virgin?” Jim echoes, voice high-pitched and giddy. He beams at you from beneath his bushy mustache and slaps you a little too hard on your arm when he laughs. “Shit, teacup. Are you runnin’ out of options over there or somethin’?”
You twist your body to hit him back harder with your right hand. “It’s not funny, Hopper,” you scold. “He’s nice.”
“You said that about Hargrove once—”
“This is different,” you monotone before the words have the chance to leave his mouth.
“Yeah? How do you know?”
The question stumps you for a moment because you don’t know — you can’t.
You’d never admit it out loud, but Hopper was right; you’re still not quite sure how you ever could’ve thought that Billy Hargrove was a good guy, but you did. You felt a similar feeling of elation with him as you do now with Eddie, an otherworldly sort of happiness that makes you feel like you’re the only person it’s ever happened to.
And here you are now, sometime later and reveling in the aftermath, still gluing pieces of your shattered heart together.
You treat love like a drug. You use and use and use until it stops being a fun thing and becomes a crutch you can’t live without. That’s always when it starts to hurt you, but you’re in too deep to stop craving it.
And you know it’s bound to happen all over again, but you have to believe Eddie’s different or else you might as well fall into the deep pit of despair you’ve been trying this whole time to crawl out of. 
He makes you happy, really really happy, and you’d rather gamble that he hurts you than give it all without even trying.
“I… don’t,” you conclude after a few moments.
Jim seems surprised by your admission, shooting you an incredulous look with his untamed brows raised to his hairline.
You meet his look with a wavering grin. “But he makes me really happy, Hop. Like… It feels like it should be illegal or something. He makes me feel so good my heart hurts. There’s like this—”
“Ugh,” the man grumbles in disgust, sullen all over again.
“I didn’t mean it like that, you weirdo,” you chide.
A grin twitches beneath his mustache in response. “I know you didn’t… ‘Cause Munson’s a virgin.”
“Oh my god!” you groan. “I didn’t even mean to tell you that, okay? Leave him alone— and a swear to god, Hopper, if you make fun of him—”
“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with it, alright? I mean, he’s got the expert around to show him the ropes— ow!” You cut off his stupid joke and accompanying sardonic grin with a fist to his shoulder.
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Steve and Robin tend to be quite the formidable duo.
They’ve barely got a brain cell to rub together between them, but there’s still something strangely intimidating about them when they’re both angry. It feels a bit like they’re your I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed parents, and you’re the scolded child taking your lashings in the form of a lecture.
It’s what you feel like now, sitting across from them in your designated booth at Benny’s Burgers — the one by the window in the corner. It’s far enough away from the bustle of the entrance but close enough still to gossip about the assholes you used to know from high school when they walk through the door. 
“You scare the shit out of us when you go AWOL like that, you know?” Steve confesses, still soft even though you know there’s a more upset part of himself he keeps hidden for now.
His chocolate gaze flits between you and the pile of fries in the middle of the table that the three of you share. He finds the one covered in the most salt and pops it into his mouth.
“AWOL?” you echo with a distant laugh when you realize how much he sounds like Hopper. “It was three days.”
“Yeah, and you fell off the face of the earth,” Robin retorts, half-muffled through the hearty gulp of strawberry milkshake starting to melt in her mouth.
“You guys are acting like I went halfway across the country,” you scoff. “I was with Eddie. At his trailer.”
“Exactly!”
Steve’s face contorts mid-bite. “Wait, you were with him? The freak?”
It makes you roll your eyes. He’d been too busy hopelessly flirting with the waitress at the counter to hear the entire recounting of your absence to Robin, though it was more of you gushing about it than anything else.
“Yep,” you answer.
“You skipped out on movie night to be with… Eddie Munson?” he reiterates for himself, as though there was any correlation between watching the same three movies while gorging on greasy junk food with your best friends and falling more in love with a guy you were already head over heels for as he tried to explain away the unopened box of condoms collecting dust underneath his bed.
Both are equally fun in their own ways, but totally totally different.
“How did you survive without me, Steven?” you joke back in response.
“He didn’t,” Robin quips.
“So… what? You guys just went on some kinda bender? I don’t get it. Did you just fuck the entire time or something?”
“Well, contrary to popular belief, I can actually spend time with someone and not fuck them—”
“Okay, that’s not what I meant and you know it.”
“And to answer your question — no, we didn’t fuck,” you confess, then elaborate more slowly, a tad bit awkwardly. “Because he told me today that… he is a… virgin.”
Your words seem to settle over each of them differently. Robin stills with her lips wrapped around the candy-cane striped straw then furrows her brows, as though their meaning hits her a few seconds after the fact.
Steve, meanwhile, goes entirely agape in an amazed sort of shock. His eyes go wide, his brows fly up and hide beneath the bangs that hang down over his forehead, and his jaw falls open. And then he starts to smile, a subtle hint of a grin on the corners of his pink lips, like he finds it funny.
“I knew it,” he murmurs to himself.
“…Why are you smiling like that?”
His smirk widens. “That freak said he screwed Vicki Carmichael senior year. I knew he was lying.”
“And why do you look so proud of yourself, exactly?” Robin asks him.
“Because now I feel less bad about never fucking her,” the boy explains like it’s obvious. He set his elbows on the table and gestures wildly with his hands. “I always thought the freak one-upped me because she, like, never gave me the time of day after Hargrove came along, you know? But… It’s good to know that I’m still king.”
His delighted grin is met with confused looks from both you and Robin, who look upon him with twisted eyebrows and squinted eyes. 
“Are you not aware of how strange everything that comes out of your mouth is?” you ask him, only partly joking.
“At least that settles why he wouldn’t let you give him a blow job,” the brunette girl concludes with a shrug as she slouches against the booth. “Poor guy was probably shitting bricks about it.”
You realize then that it does make sense, why he’d always been so adamant about your pleasure and never his own. Why he always touched you like you were some fragile thing he might break, and like everything was new to him. Because it was new to him. All of it.
And even though it baffles you to no end how he went his entire life without someone wanting to jump his bones (because truth be told, you’re doing a terrible job at hiding your want to do just that), the fact still remains — Eddie Munson is a virgin. 
He’s a virgin with an acute infatuation for the local slut, both of you freaks in your own right. 
It just adds more intricacy to a puzzle that already feels so complicated.
“I’ve never been with a virgin before,” you admit quietly, mostly to yourself, as you train your gaze on the straw wrapper you curl around your finger. “It’s different… Scary.”
“Why?” Robin wonders aloud.
“I don’t know. I just— I don’t know what to do now.”
“Just do what you always do,” Steve tells you like it’s that simple. He folds his arms on the table and leans in closer to you. “Experience is good. Okay? Experience is key.”
“No, it’s not that. I think I’m just… I’m scared I’m gonna treat him the way, you know, that I was treated. And I don’t wanna… I don’t wanna do that to him.”
You’re not sure when the shift started, when you stopped being a person to people. You only know that you were something less than that. Somewhere between junior and senior year, you become a plaything that anyone could do anything they wanted to with, and you were too starved for physical affection to tell them otherwise. 
You liked the attention. You liked feeling loved, even if it was only for a minute and a half, and all you had to show for it was a pool of cooling come on your belly.
Eddie’s the fragile thing now that you were then. 
He was a delicate little thing that can break so easily, something you could split in half if you wanted to. 
You don’t. 
You want so desperately to be kind, but you’re scared you won’t know how to, because no one’s ever been kind to you.
Steve reaches across the table for you, taking a wild stab at an attempt for affection after several months of being scared to touch you — he did enough of that, he thought, and he’d hurt you. But he can see the lingering ache hiding in your glazed-over eyes and feels an overwhelming urge to quell your worry. 
Five warm fingers wrap around your wrist, not too tight or too strong, just enough to stop you from cutting circulation off to the tip of your pointer finger and to remind you that he’s still there.
“Trust me,” he tells you with a sudden soft swimming in his caramel-colored eyes and a smile playing on his lips. “You couldn’t do that to anybody. Not even if you wanted to.”  
Your heart nearly stops at his words, at the sheer kindness of them, and at the way he holds you in the soft way you’re used to only Eddie holding you. Your eyes go wide when they flit up to him and then start to sting with the weight of unshed tears. 
You’re quick to blink them away though, while you playfully shrug him off and joke — “stop being so nice before I get the wrong idea, Harrington” — because it’s easier than accepting his tenderness.
Robin takes one look at his fond gaze, all gooey and dripping with honey, and then at your rolling eyes and accompanying shy grin, and groans at the softness of it all. She slides out from the confines of the booth and grumbles something about getting a refill on her milkshake.
“Some fries too, while you’re up?” Steve offers with a hopeful grin.
He’s met with the girl’s signature scowl.
“Please,” you finish for him.
Robin grins. “Anything for you,” she croons, if only to make the boy pout, before skipping off to the counter.
She leans her elbows upon the red wooden laminate top and smiles that same sickly sweet smile for Benny by the grill — no doubt trying to get her refills for free. 
Even though the bearded man seems unimpressed with her presence, you know that he’ll give them to her free of charge. He’s always had a soft spot for her, one of the only people in town who could rival his wit.
The door dings open, a familiar and high-pitched chime that often becomes more frequent as the evening progresses. This time it lets in a foreign, bitter breeze when the door swings open and closed again.
You can feel the chill from a distance — it resembles the crispness of autumn despite being comfortably settled in the middle of March. It nearly takes your breath away, prickles your skin and makes you grimace back a shiver. 
When your eyes leave Steve, a difficult feat considering he’s doing an alarmingly good impression of a walrus by sticking fries in his upper lip, you find that it wasn’t abnormally cold air at all. It was a Peter Parker spider sense form of anxiety that had felt like a bucket of ice water had been poured over you.
Billy Hargrove used to turn heads when he walked into a room. 
Now he just sucks all the air out of it.
And it’s not like you haven’t seen him since the break up; for a while, the asshole was painted on the backs of your eyelids — he all but haunted your consciousness. You’ll see him around town on occasion, in his sunglasses and jean jacket and too-tight denim pants, while he struts around Main Street with his new girlfriend (otherwise known as, his flavors of the month).
You think this is the first time you’ve been in the same room as him since your split, though. It feels like it must be with the way your throat starts to tighten and you forget how to breathe. 
All at once, you’re scrambling for an exit. It’s like Billy’s a fire and his smoke is rapidly filling your lungs. Your legs start to tremble when your adrenaline spike. Your brain tells you to get out as quickly as you can before he burns you.
Steve notices the look of fear flood your features like a dark storm cloud. You were laughing just seconds before the door opened, equal parts with him and at him, but now you just looked terrified — like a child who’s just spotted a boogeyman in her closet.
He turns in the booth to find what haunted thing has just caught your eye and finds that it’s worse than any monster you could conjure up. It’s Billy fucking Hargrove, with his pretty hair and his pretty smile and his pretty girl under his arm.
His presence filled targeted, almost. Like he chose to come to this diner, on this day and at this time just to fuck with the group of you.
“Don’t even look at him,” Steve advises when he turns back to you. “Look at me, okay? He’s not even worth it. That asshole doesn’t deserve to ruin our day.”
And you try to listen to him. You try really, really hard to let him change that subject to the cold fries or Robin taking too long or a combination of the two, but you can’t focus on him. You’re already so overwhelmed at the sight of Billy that you can’t focus on anything else but him. 
You settle on the fact that you might just have to drag Steve and Robin out by their wrists because you can’t sit in this booth any longer, and you definitely aren’t hungry anymore.
And that’s when he spots you.
Your eyes lock and you freeze, immediately averting your gaze but catching the sudden sparkle in his own as he grins a sly, sadistic grin.
“No way,” you hear him say with a laugh under his breath. The sound of his voice makes you tense. You hadn’t realized how at peace you’d been all this time without having to hear it. Now it feels like so many little needles piercing your skin.
“Fancy seeing you guys here,” he greets after he’s made a b-line for your booth and dragged Vicki Carmichael along with him. He smiles with all of his pearly whites while he smacks pungent wintergreen gum between them. 
When he slides into the booth beside you, he does so without invitation, and forces Vicki to slink in next to Steve.
And like it wasn’t already awkward enough, you know Vicki — like, know her, know her. There was a drunken makeout at a Halloween party in ’82. Then a one night stand with her brother before he left for college in ’83. And then her Tom Selleck clone of a father at a sleepover for her eighteenth birthday in ’85. 
You’re not exactly proud of it, but you’ve gotten a rather hefty taste of her family tree, and the fact that both of you know it makes it that much more uncomfortable.
“We’re kinda busy here, Hargrove,” Steve tells him when he notices how comfortable he’s making himself in your booth.
“Ooh… Is this a little date?” Billy teases with a grin.
Steve’s face falls. “…No.”
“Oh, right,” he nods, though the sardonic lilt in his voice tells you that he already knew the answer. He crosses his arms on the tabletop and turns to look at you with eyes bluer than any ocean. They flicker up and down your form. Suddenly, you feel self-conscious in your baggy jean and tank top duo.
“You’ve been seeing that guy, haven’t you? What’s his name again? The, uh— the freak?”
“His name is Eddie,” Steve answers for you, defending him because you can’t find the words to.
“That’s it,” Billy snaps his fingers, then points. He nudges you with his shoulder. The familiar feel of his jean jacket against your skin makes you wince. “God, you must be runnin’ out of steam over there, huh? I mean… the freak? Seriously? You couldn’t do any better than that?”
The jokes were tolerable coming from Jim and Steve and Robin — they weren’t funny by any means, but you could stomach them because you knew they were jokes. But this? This was just to hurt you. And it works too easily because Billy knows exactly how to break you. He knows all the wires to cut and buttons to push because the puzzle of shattering your psyche is one he memorized long ago.
“He’s actually a really nice guy,” you manage through a tight throat, still staring at your fidgeting hands.
“Well, that’s good,” he hums like you need his approval. “It’s about time, right?”
You huff and choose to entertain him despite your better judgment. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He only shrugs. “I don’t know... Just, you know, that found a guy willing to settle for you. That’s all.”
“Settle?” you repeat, trying to laugh despite how tiny your voice sounds.
“You know what I mean, c’mon,” the blonde boy chuckles. “Sluts are fun and all, but they’re not the kinda girls you wanna settle down with. Steve knows what I mean.”
“No, I don’t,” Steve monotones quickly and without thinking, gaze hardened and jaw clenched. “And you need to leave.”
“I”m hungry, Billy,” Vicki whines, feeling every ounce of the tension surrounding her — like syrup or quicksand. She slides her permed bangs from her eyes and tucks a rogue strawberry strand behind her ear in a nervous tick. “Can’t we just get something to eat?”
“Alright, alright. I know when I’m not wanted,” Billy chuckles.
You grumble bitterly under your breath. “Apparently not…”
“I’ll see you around, Harrington,” Billy singsongs with a grin that wreaks of insincerity while his girlfriend slides out from the booth. He turns to look at you and squints. “Don’t be a stranger, alright? Matter of fact, point Munson my way, and I’ll give him a few pointers.”
You’re uncowed by his offer and angered by his mention of Eddie. Your eyes are stern and unwavering as you meet his gaze for the first time since he sat down beside you. 
“I think you could learn a thing or two from him, actually,” you retort, words sounding sweeter than the venom lingering behind them.
Billy’s grin only widens, impressed by your arguing. “Ooh… I forgot about the mouth you had on you, sweetheart.”
The use of the nickname makes you cringe. It doesn’t sound nearly as fulfilling as it does when it comes from Eddie. Now, it just sounds artificial — degrading.
He leans in close to you like he’s about to tell you a secret and splays his arm along the back of the booth behind you. The nicotine on his breath makes you grimace; it’s intoxicating when it comes from Eddie, disgusting from the boy sitting next to you. 
His eyes are bluer so up close, darker than you remember them being, and you notice he’s trimmed his usual stubble to a patchy mustache. He looks like the grown-up version of the boy you used to know, visually more mature but still the same in his way.
“When he gets bored of you — because, let’s be serious, he will get bored of you — you know where to find me,” Billy murmurs to you, a cynical smirk on the edges of his lips. “I’ll make sure you stay nice and broken in for the next dozen guys that want a taste—”
Steve can’t hear a word from where he sits across the booth, but he’s fuming with fists clenched under the table anyway. He hates how close Billy is to you, more so how uncomfortable you look with the proximity and how his words make you flinch. 
“Alright, you need to leave,” he blurts. “Now.”
Before the blonde could respond with a quip of his own, Robin all but teleports to the head of the table. She’s standing in front of the four of you suddenly, carrying a basket of fries and a strawberry milkshake and wearing a frown on her face.
“You’re in my seat, dickwad,” she monotones, even though she hadn’t been sitting next to you before. She’s not the least bit threatened by the Californian douchebag.
Billy smiles up at her anyway. “I was wondering where the third musketeer was! Still a carpet muncher, Buckley?”
“Happily.”
“What do ya say me and you head up to Lover’s Lake later?” the boy offers despite his date shifting awkwardly a few feet away. It’s a joke, for reasons that are more than obvious, and that’s what makes it so unbearably unfunny. 
He slinks out from the booth. The lack of his warmth is strangely comforting and you’re able to breathe for the first time in five minutes. He stretches his back out when he stands to his full height in front of Robin, then shrugs with his hands splayed on his hips.
“Maybe you just need some good dick. I mean… we’re gonna die anyway, right?”
“I’d rather,” she quips with a rouge-tinted smile.
The way it makes him laugh is startling. He finds a strange humor in being rejected — in most things, really. You still haven’t forgotten the cackles that left his bloodied mouth when Steve delivered blow after blow to the boy’s face in the middle of his living room, like it was all a fun game to him.
That was, of course, before Billy got the upper hand and nearly killed Steve that night. He laughed about it that too, until Max knocked him out with a baseball bat.
He’s got the same grin on his face now as he did then when he turns to look at you. A pink and pretty smirk, just wide enough to reveal the dimple in his left cheek. It’s nothing short of taunting, like he’s mocking you without having to say anything at all.
“Don’t be a stranger, alright?” Billy repeats. He keeps smacking his gum between his teeth and winks at you before spinning on the heel of his boot. He guides Vicki with him to the counter with a hand on the back pocket of her jeans.
Even when Robin slides in next to you and effectively pierces the bubble of tension that had already started to shrink with Billy’s leaving, you still find it hard to breathe. You have to keep reminding yourself, forcing oxygen in and out with wobbling breaths through your nose, or else you just stop altogether.
The other two move on rather quickly, having no trouble finding their voices again after he’s gone. Their words are muffled, though, like they’re underwater.
“I forgot what an asshole he was,” Robin grumbles.
“Well, I didn’t,” Steve retorts, eyes scanning the basket of fries for the most strategic pick of the bunch. “I can still barely breathe through my nose.”
“That’s because you didn’t go to a doctor, dingus.”
“Because I didn’t need a doctor, Robin.”
“Yeah, because being concussed three times in two years is so healthy—”
Your eyes act like magnets as they stay locked on Billy’s form. He leans in closer to Vicki to tell her something, then pats her once on the ass before walking towards the exit again. The door dings when he swings it open. Through the window, you catch him pulling out a red and white pack of cigarettes — the same brand of Marlboro Reds he’s been smoking since he was in middle school.
“You okay?” you hear Steve say, but it sounds too far away for you to realize he’s talking to you.
Robin nudges you with her shoulder to jog you from your stupor. You blink hard once and then turn to her with wide eyes. “What?”
“You doing alright over there?” the girl wonders.
“Yeah,” your answer is too quick and too high-pitched to be true. “Fine.”
“Like, fine as in you’re actually fine, or fine as in, if I leave you alone for too long, I’m gonna find you living under a bridge like a troll?”
You roll your eyes at her. “Fine as in, if someone bums me a cigarette, I’ll be good as new.”
Steve huffs when you hold out the palm of your hand toward him. He’s the only one of you who smokes recreationally enough to carry a lighter and pack of cigs with him. You swear he only keeps it with him because the weight of them makes him feel cool. You’re grateful for them now, though, and for the escape they unexpectedly provide you.
His fingers are warm when they brush your hand. The metal zippo he drops in the center of it is far colder and carries a comforting sort of weight to it. He thumbs a cigarette from the pack for you, and you take it with a sardonic smile and a sickly sweet “thank you, Stevie.” 
Robin gets out of the booth to let you slide out of it.
The door chimes again, this time over your head when you open it. 
Fresh, spring air nearly knocks you on your ass when it hits you for the first time. You realize then, that you’d forgotten to tell yourself to breathe and now your vision’s all swimmy. The cool breeze tries its hardest to quell your swelling anger, but you’re still at a simmering boil. Fists clenched over the lighter and cig duo in your palm and your sneakers slapping angrily against the cracked pavement.
That’s what signals your arrival, the raging stomps that echo in the alleyway Billy takes his smoke break in. 
The boy takes a puff of his cigarette and smirks on the exhale at the sight of you. All he needs is one glance to see how angry he’s made you. It’s an innocent, childlike sort of rage that’s got you all scrunched face and red — a heartbroken girl on a war path.
“I knew you couldn’t resist me, sweetheart,” he taunts with his signature sarcastic smile. He holds his arms at his sides, like he’s waiting for some kind of embrace from you. “You used to be like that all the time — all over me, you know? Clingy.”
“You know what you used to be?” you ask him once you’ve planted yourself a few feet away from him, fists shaking at your sides in a nearly overwhelming mixture of rage and apprehension.
“What’s that?”
“Nice! You used to be nice! Or do you not remember that?” you wonder rhetorically. Your anger fades slowly, an ebbing tide, as a reminiscent sadness eclipses your fury — a flood of blue in all your red. 
The sharp frown between your brows crumbles and so does your clenched jaw as your harsh features crumple like a balled-up piece of paper. You look upon the man that broke your heart with all the shattered pieces of it.
“You used to let me sleep over at your place when I was too scared to sleep alone at mine, and you’d bring me food when I told you I hadn’t eaten all day, and you’d take me on drives when you knew I hadn’t left my apartment in days,” you ramble in a single breath, gesticulating wildly with your hands — waving them at him and at you and the still air between. They fall hopelessly to your sides. 
“You used to be so sweet, Billy…” you conclude with a wavering breath. Your chest trembles on the inhale as you straighten out your shoulders and lift your chin, trying your best not to look as defeated as you feel. “And you know what you are now?”
Billy grins that stupid grin at you, the one that almost looks kind. Almost. It’s still soft in all its insincerity, like a parent entertaining their kid that’s gone on some meaningless tangent.
“No, sweetheart,” he answers after a beat. “What am I?”
“Not nice.”
He scoffs out a laugh.
“You used to tell me, all the time, how scared you were about ending up like you’re dad—” he tenses at the mention of the man, of his own monster in his own closet. “—He’d beat you black and blue every night, and I’d bandage all your cuts and put makeup on you when you begged, so you could go out and pretend like everything was normal. And you know what? You’re just like him!”
Billy doesn’t cower when you walk closer to him. He’s got no reason to be afraid of you, but your words hit him in a place far deeper than a thousand bloodied fists.
“What he did to you, is exactly what you do to me… Or do you know see that?” you don’t wait for a sarcastic reply, mostly because you wouldn’t see the indicators of it through the tears that blur your vision. “You’re not punching me, but it feels like you are. You break me over and over and over and I have to pretend like everything’s just normal and that we—”
“Real mature of you. To bring out the dad-card,” he interjects, if only to stop your ramblings so that he might not have to hear the truth that comes with them.
“You used to he nice,” you repeat, you agonize, you deflate. “Or… Or did you never use to be?”
The shell of your mind answers for you, paints itself with all the memories you’ve been trying like hell to forget for the past six months. It’s easier to pretend the bad things aren’t real than unravel all the reasons why they were bad to begin with, you find.
The negative memories come together like renaissance paintings — dark and gloomy and blotted with too realistic tears and spatters of blood. The oil stains the backs of your eyelids, destined to remain there forever like paintings in museum that’ll stand the test of time if you nurse them well enough.
You hadn’t yet been able to forget the screams and the cracks of fists colliding with bone. They tend to keep you up at night, even when you squeeze your eyes shut and beg for your memory to be wiped away completely. 
Billy crouches over Steve’s chest and pummels wholehearted punches to the boy’s face, never tiring in their force, even well after the boy goes limp underneath him. You beg for him to stop while trying like hell to shield Max from the sight of it all. 
For a while, you’d blamed yourself for it — for Max being there in the first place and for Steve’s cuts and bruises. 
You’d taken the girl and sought refuge in the Harrington home after witnessing a rather heated fight between Billy and his father. There was a sudden urge within you to take her far away from it before it ended how it always did — in weeping cuts and salty tears and insincere apologies when the cops were called.
But you made it worse anyway. 
For Max, for Steve. 
And you apologized profusely for it after, cried to the boy in his bathroom while you nursed his cuts like you were the one who put them there. 
When he told you it wasn’t your fault, you didn’t believe him. Not until now. Not until you realized that Billy had always been angry — always raging with an ocean of fear and grief and violence.
When he fought with his sister, you thought it was normal, that that’s just what siblings did. But the way she cried to you after couldn’t have been normal. Neither could the unearthly fury that washed over Billy like a riptide when he found out you and Max had sought safety in Steve The Hair Harrington — angered that it was Steve and that he couldn’t be that for the both of you.
And then there was the fights. The yelling and screaming and crying fights that felt like the end of the world every single time. The kind of fights you shouldn’t be having when you’re eighteen. You thought that maybe there was some normalcy in the cheating and the secrecy and Billy’s accompanying assholery because that was all you’d ever known.
Or maybe because you had to tell yourself that was normal in relationships because you didn’t want your’s to end. Billy was the first guy to give a damn about you in ways that went beyond just sex. How were you supposed to just give that up?
But then there’s Eddie — Eddie The Freak Munson, who was really just sunshine wrapped up in leather jackets and wild hair and chunky rings and metal music. He makes you happy. The sort of happy that makes you suspicious because something bad has to counteract all the goodness he makes you feel. 
Maybe that’s what this was. 
Seeing Billy after having wrapped yourself in a blanket of Eddie’s warmth made you see somehow more clearly. He loves on you so much that it’s made a mockery of everything else. 
Whatever you had with Billy wasn’t normal, it was a goddamn shit show. He loved you when it was convenient and then had you believing it was the real thing, that you wouldn’t find it anywhere else, when you tried to leave him. 
It was a lie, all of it.
The realization makes you falter.
“Oh, god…” you sigh, voice fragile like cracking glass. “Maybe you never used to be…”
For the first time ever, you see Billy’s grin shake. The edges of it flitter, like he’s fighting to keep the corners quirked up. And his eyes have gone a lighter shade of blue, the way they always did when he blinked back angry tears as he talked about his father.
It isn’t rage glassing his eyes now. It’s something sadder, but still as real — something you never got from him in the two years you were together.
He tries, still, to cover it all up. He smacks his lips against his teeth, sympathetically. “Sorry it took you this long to figure that out.”
The laugh you exhale then is heavy with sadness. Your smile is far away and so is your gaze as you stumble back from him. You turn your head to the edge of the alley where mom’s with strollers and people in fancy suits bustle on the sidewalk and keep your eyes on the strangers that whiz by you’ll probably never see again. 
“This is… This is pointless,” you murmur. His lean form is blurry through the burning tears you blink away. “Every time I see you, it’s just more bullshit so let’s just— let’s just leave each other alone, okay?”
Billy takes a puff from his cigarette. When he sighs, white smoke billows from his plump, pink lips. “That’s a shame… I was just thinking that you were the most interesting you’d ever been.”
The ebbing tide that had just left you rushes back in a bubbling scarlet wave. His words don’t make you sad anymore, they just make you angry all over again because you know you don’t deserve them. And you’re not entirely sure why he’s chosen you to antagonize out of all the other girls who’d made the mistake of falling for him, but you’re too far past the point of not caring to ask.
“Bother me again and I tell Chief Hopper,” you threaten even though you don’t feel very threatening just now. “I know you’re not scared of me, but you’d be stupid to be scared of him.”
“Why’s that?” he wonders before sticking the half-gone stick between his lips again.
“Because he runs Hawkins. And he fucking hates you—” for what you did to me, you almost say. You swallow the words down like bile before they have the chance to spew out. “And… And be nice to Vicki. Okay? She’s too good for you. Don’t do to her what you did to me.”
Your plea for another is the last thing you say to Billy before you turn away from him. You wouldn’t be upset if it was the last thing you ever said to him. You’re grateful for the resounding silence that follows. It’s nothing but the sound of your receding footsteps and the soles of his shoes scrapping the concrete as he snuffs out his cigarette. 
There is no snarky remark or insincere plea — just two people who used to love each other that have no idea to exist together anymore. 
When you step outside the brick confines of the alleyway, you feel as though a fraying string that had always connected the both of you had been finally cut.
It allows you to take a deep breath in for the first time in months. A lungful of fresh air that cleanses you, body and mind.
And when you catch Steve and Robin idling at the corner and doing a terrible job of pretending like they hadn’t just been eavesdropping, you don’t get upset or angry with them — you don’t feel much of anything, really.
You just hand the boy his lighter and unused cigarette and let them comfort you on the drive back to your apartment.
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A misery sandwich. That’s what Robin calls the three of you and the heaping pile you lay in. 
Your queen-sized bed is in no way meant to accomodate three moderately sized adults, but you make it work anyway, like you always do.
Steve lays on his back, legs crossed and hands tucked under his head. Robin is on her stomach on the other end of the mattress, arms wrapped around the pillow she smushes the side of her face into. You lay between the both of them — on the both of them. Sprawled out sideways, you’ve got your head on propped up on Steve’s ribcage and your legs thrown over Robin’s thighs. 
The awkward position is the most comfortable you’ve ever been.
“I can’t believe that asshole had the nerve to show up to the diner on our day,” the boy rants. “And then sit in our booth, I mean— who does he think he is?”
Robin’s response is mostly muffled by the pillow. “I thought he left, like, forever ago.” 
“Maybe he just couldn’t stay away. It’s Hawkins, shit attracts shit, right?” Steve answers with a shrug that jostles your head slightly. It doesn’t little to knock you from your stupor, though, where you’ve been stuck for the better part of the day. You pick at the skin around your nails with little regard for how red and raging it's gone.
He notices this and thumps you on your temple — hard enough for you to feel it, gentle enough that it doesn’t hurt you. 
You turn your chin to your shoulder to look over at him. He tilts his own head to stare down at you, honey-tinted gaze somehow stern and soft at the same time. “If he bothers you again, I’ll kill him.”
You’re instantly warmed by his protective disposition. You know that he cares about you, even though you like to joke that he doesn’t. Steve hurt you once, made a promise to himself to make it up to you, and then just never left you alone. 
You’re grateful for it. 
You’re not sure who’d be the butt of every joke if he wasn’t around.
“Good to know,” you answer, nodding against his side and trying to hide the smile he gives you. You fail. “You think if he breaks your nose again, it’ll pop back into place?”
His face falls. “You’re real sweet, you know that?”
You open your mouth to respond, something along the lines of “I’m always sweet. You of all people should know that, Stevie,” before a knock sounds at the front door. It comes in the several rhythmic raps that Eddie is known to give when he’s got a tune stuck in his head. 
Apparently now, it’s the chorus to “Why Can’t This Be Love?” The Van Halen song he said he couldn’t stand before you.
Robin huffs at the sound of the muffled taps. She frowns like a child. “Who the hell…?”
“It’s just Eddie,” you affirm through a half-hearted grunt as you rise from your comfy position.
That brightens the two of them up almost immediately. Her and Steve share a look you can’t place as they grin at one another. Then they turn back to you with identical mischievous twinkles in their eyes. “Your boyfriend is here,” the former of the two singsongs.
You roll your eyes, but make no move to correct her. 
When you stand from the bed and make the short journey towards the door, you hear the patter of their feet following close behind you. 
“Gonna go all the way tonight?” Steve teases and jabs you on the shoulder. “Do you want us to leave?”
“No, nothing is happening. And yes, I think you should leave,” you monotone playfully.
Robin rushes past you suddenly and grabs the brass door handle before you’re able. She swings it open without thinking twice about it. Her sudden appearance, coupled with the fact that it isn’t you, startles the man on the other side of the door.
Eddie’s umber eyes go wide, brows raising and disappearing beneath his fluffy bangs, as his head jerks back.
“Eddie Munson,” the girl full-names the stranger she’s never spoken a word to before now. She leans against the doorway and effectively blocks the boy’s view of you. Steve, who squeezes himself in beside her, doesn’t make it any easier. “Fancy seeing you here.”
“You too, Buckley…” he wavers, trying to peer past them for any sight of you.
“Perfect timing, Eds,” you call out from behind them. “They were just about to leave.”
He’s relieved at the sound of your voice — even more so at your appearance when the two in front of you step off to the side to toe on their sneakers. 
You don’t look much different than when he saw you last. You’ve put on some makeup that’s started to smudge after the long day and changed your baggy sweatshirt for a more fitted tank top and boxers, but other than that you’re still the same. Still familiar and comforting in your way, a home away from home.
His smile is a tired one and it wobbles at the edges. “Oh, shit, am I— am I interrupting something?”
“No,” you’re quick to reassure him. “You’re saving me, actually.”
“Oh, give me a break,” Steve scoffs. “You love us.” 
The boy pulls you into a hug before he leaves, and it’s not the rarest thing in the world, but embraces like this do tend to be few and far between. He whispers  “use protection” in your ear and then a sharp “ow!” when you jab him in the ribs.
He and Robin smile kindly at Eddie when they walk by him and out the door, but waste barely a second before turning back around and grinning wildly at you. Steve flashes you a thumbs up while she mouths a cartoonish ‘good luck’ — like it’s the first time you and Eddie had ever been alone together. Like they were just on your ass about having been with him this whole time.
You usher Eddie and shut the door behind them. A quiet sort of peace settles on the apartment like a weighted blanket. The boy revels in every bit of its warmth.
Exhaustion drips from him like syrup. He’s sticky with it. His eyes have lost their usual twinkle, weighed down now with the burden of his fatigue. His face has lost most of its color, leaving a pale sheath of monotoned skin, and his hair is wilder than normal, with an unintentional sort of ruggedness to his curls.
It’s what being without you has done to him.
“You okay?” you ask him softly. It almost makes him want to cry.
“Yeah,” he answers anyway and idles in the spot where your kitchen meets your living room. “Just had a pretty shitty day. Wanted to spend time with you.”
“Me too… About the wanting to spend time with you part— and the shitty day part, too, I guess.”
Eddie smiles at your rambling, but purses it to the side to conceal it from you. “And since it is just about our…” he trails off and bends his elbow to check the watch on his wrist. “…Twelve hour anniversary, I picked us up some takeout.”
He sets the plastic bag on the counter. The red logo of Oriental Jade on the side of it makes your stomach roll with a distant hunger. You hadn’t realized how starved you were feeling after you abandoned your early dinner at Benny’s. It makes you more grateful for Eddie, who always seems to be on the same wavelength as you without even trying.
“Keep this up and we’ll be married before we hit hour twenty-four,” you joke as you rifle through the cartons — chow mein, sweet and sour chicken, dumplings, the works.
Eddie settles in next to you, propping his elbows on the countertop. “Well, I’m pretty sure the courthouse opens at nine, so… What were you thinking for the honeymoon? Hawaii? Bora Bora?”
“How about a cabin in the woods where no one can find us?”
“Hmm… Spooky. Sexy. I’m into it.”
You settle in the living room and eat on the couch while She Ra re-runs play on the television. You try to teach Eddie how to use chopsticks, though he can only work them with his non-dominant hand and all the wrong finger placements. You think it’s cute to watch him fumble with them, and you giggle about it until you’re scolding him for trying to feed Bowie some noodles. He laughs as you swat at him.
When all the containers are fully scrapped clean and tossed in the recycling bin, you migrate to the bedroom — which is perhaps too raunchy a phrase to use when the two of you only bury yourselves under the covers to talk shit.
Eddie drags out the chunky box fan you use when the air conditioner goes out in the summer — because it always goes out in the summer — and props it on the chest at the foot of your bed so the covers will billow around the both of you. “And it’s perfect because we can stay in the fort forever and not get hot,” he tells you, all giddy about it like he's a kid again.
“What if I get cold?” you retort.
Without missing a beat, he answers, “Well, lucky enough for you, I know several ways I can warm you up, sweetheart.”
He ditches his leather jacket and strips down to his boxers and settles in beside you underneath the blankets. The two of you lay shoulder to shoulder while you trace absentminded patterns on the palm of his hand and tell him about your day.
You make sure to leave out all the re-traumatizing-Billy-Hargrove bits, though. You focus mainly on the tense drive with Hopper and the small fight you’d had with Steve on the drive to the diner later that afternoon about the lyrics to Love My Way (both of you had been wrong).
Eddie tries his hardest to focus on your story and your fleeting touches, but he’s too far in his own head. You tell him all these things but he can’t stop thinking about himself — about whether or not you might’ve brought him up somewhere in between. 
He wouldn’t have blamed you, if you had. Steve and Robin are your closest friends and, for whatever reason, so is Chief Hopper, you’re bound to bring him up eventually. He was just hoping it would’ve been in a better capacity. Maybe about how kind he was or what a god he was in bed — not how he could only be one of those things because he’d never been anything in bed.
“It doesn’t make things weird between us, does it?” he wonders out of the blue.
You halt mid-sentence and turn to him with furrowed brows. “What?”
Eddie realizes then, that the first half of the conversation with you had only happened in his head. He prays that it’s too dark beneath the covers for you to see how red his cheeks get. “Just… What we talked about this morning. About me… you know…” He finds it hard to say the words. Or any of them at all.
“Why would it make things weird?”
“I don’t know. Because I wasn’t… totally honest with you, I guess? I feel a little bad about it, you know?”
“It’s okay,” you assure and turn on your side to be closer to him. Eddie stays on his back, more than happy to let you cuddle further into him. “I guess I do wish you’d said something before, though.”
His chest tightens. “I’m sorry. I just… I didn’t know how to—”
“I’m not saying it to make you feel bad!” you interject quickly when you catch the spiral of regret he was about to twist himself into. You curl tighter into his side, tossing a leg over his thigh and wrapping your hand around his bicep in an effort to melt with him. When he turns to face you, your noses nearly brush.
 “That’s not how I meant it. I just meant that, if I’d known before, I wouldn’t have… I would’ve taken things slower. I wouldn’t have been so, you know, so all over you.”
He hates how apologetic you sound. Like there was ever an ounce of him that would want to take back what happened that night at his trailer or a part of him that might hate how much you love on him.
“I liked it. I do like it.”
“Maybe we can just start over,” you offer. “Pretend like none of that ever happened.”
Eddie knows there’s no way in hell he’ll be able to forget about a single damn thing — not his cum stained jeans and how you looked so pretty washing them for him, not the feel of your tits in his mouth or you wrapped around his fingers, not how you made him blow his load all over his fist just by talking to him. 
He goes along with it anyway, though, just for you.
“Okay...” he nods slowly, then squints over at you. “You’re still my girlfriend, though, right?”
“Of course I am,” you giggle.
He grins proudly to himself. “Well then… Hope it’s not too early to have our first kiss then?”
It makes you roll your eyes because it’s such an Eddie Munson way of asking to kiss you. You told him earlier the day that he never had to ask you — in fact, you’d prefer it if he’d just kiss you out of the blue and take your breath away without you ever knowing it was coming. But there was something foreign and sweet in his little reassurances.
“Kiss me silly, Eddie Spaghetti,” you beam. He twists on his side to press tiny pecks to your smile.
It’s rather strange, you find, to kiss someone this way without the intention of it ever becoming something more. You kiss him just to kiss him — just to map the outline of his cupid’s bow and memorize the pattern of his tongue. Just to feel him, as much of him as your mouth will allow you to.
With one arm curled under his head and the other cradling your jaw, when his watch alarms — high-pitched beepbeepbeeps in quick succession — it’s sudden and close to your ear. 
Your lips click in protest when they part. His are pink and swollen and glossy with your spit. He smiles with them. “Happy twelve hour anniversary, sweetheart.”
“How long are you gonna make that stupid joke?” you laugh like your heart isn’t swelling so much you’re scared it might burst entirely.
“Uh, I was thinking… forever. Yeah. That sounds about right,” he concludes after a moment of feigned thought. He turns his watch off again and you swear you see him set for another twelve hours from now.
“Forever?” you echo.
“Uh-huh. Forever—” he presses his lips to yours once. “—And ever—” Twice. “—And ever.”
Eddie kisses you until you’re flat on your back and surrendering to each of his tiny little pecks. You twist your hands in his hair and let him love on you a little while more. You giggle when his mouth trails from your lips to your chin to your jaw to your neck. Please don’t get bored of me, you beg silently within your laughter.
I don’t think I could even if I wanted to, he answers with each kiss his sprinkles to your starved skin. How could I, when you’re the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to me?
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eldritch-alicedoll · 10 months ago
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Diasomnia Boy gift s/o an evening gown to attend the NRC & RSA ball tgt Headcanon
Following from my dress sketch design if you haven’t seen it here . They are base from Glorious Masquerade & Playful land events. Basically a sequence I imagine while drawing the dresses XD I also want to mention that when it’s finish 🥺 you can draw it on your oc and even tweak a bit detail to fit your Yuu or OC. It’s meant to be share with everyone, not just my Yuu.
⚠️ Bad English……. I have no idea what is grammar . 😂
╭══• ೋ•✧๑♡๑✧•ೋ •══╮
Imagine a ball between NRC and RSA happening maybe sometime after chapter 7. All students are invited but you are troubling since you have no dress to wear. And for the love of the great seven. Your beloved head master, Crowley just allowed you to join in your NRC uniform……….. great! So much for your kindness!!
Guess who will be the photographer and a background character on this event…..hahaha………
Well maybe you whine too much in front of the wishing well. Someone comes up with a plan. A plan that would make you believe in a fairytale once again!
╰══• ೋ•✧๑♡๑✧•ೋ •══╯
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𝔐𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔢𝔲𝔰 🐉
You had to be blind to not suspect anything……
Lately Mal is a bit touchy. Not that he isn’t normally but this is different. Sometimes he holds your wrist while mumbles something while going on a night stroll. Sometimes he stares at you and gets lost in his thoughts. He even stands just in front of you and tries to lift you up once.
You are so confused and a bit embarrassed when he asks about your height so you call for support. The Diasomnia’s family counselor aka. Lilia Vanrouge. You went all the way to Diasomnia dorm without telling anyone and sneak in to see Lilia.
But
…….
…..
…………
Is he………….
Is he dancing with a dress just now??
Surprisingly you just witness your dragon boyfriend practicing a dance with a beautiful dress. He hummed ‘that song’ while spinning with the dress. What a beautiful princess gown with dark green silk. It looks so shiny and smooth, something that would delicately touch her skin while being held in that big palm. Imagine how soft that hand craft lace feels when on your chest. He did not spare any piece of jewellery from his procession. He keep bring in dazzling earrings and necklaces to test it with the gown. He would have use the heart of his collection to craft a piece of accessories for you if he doesn’t want to save it for something later in the year. You can see a magical golden thread and needle weaving delicate patterns on the skirt as he continues the dance. Every angle……Every turn………..Malleus is creating a masterpiece. He did it………..for you…….for his princess.
Your face is burning from the love of this dragon fae. Why does he have to put so much effort into it.
Oh no………now you a mess
You open the Pandora box too early and now you have to live with it while pretending not to know a thing until the day. You bit your lip as Mal smoothly tug a strain of hair behind your ears. You can now understand what he mumbles about……rose gold? Sunshine gold? May be one of his grandma’s jewellery set?? (Oh god no…….that’s tooo far for the first gown Mal lol)
Your heart beat so fast until the evening of the event. Malleus play cool by teasing you and being a nice partner who prepare a gift for you.
Boom! You are now in a matching dress. So those Raven feathers on the hip are supposed to match his shoulder then ah………..you are about to take off the veil since it looks like a bride. Before Malleus could turn grumpy…..Sebek yell and lecturing you about how talented Wakasama are! You human dare to question his sense of fashion? Outrageous! Just because he love you doesn’t mean you can ruin his days of afford to perfect this dress
Woops………tongue slip
Well it’s not like you never know anyway. Just pretend to be surprise so Sebek won’t get a lightning strike okay?
Bonus : she doesn’t want to point out that when she accidentally saw Malleus weaving that dress……. his tail wagging. It’s a secret she gonna take to her grave though
Bonus 2 : Lilia does notice that and brag about how adorable Malleus is. How Malleus has grown to fit in the society in front of the other dorm leader………..Oopsie
Bonus 3 : Malleus learn the hard way not to miss the meeting
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𝕷𝖎𝖑𝖎𝖆 🦇
Have you heard of the story of the fairy godmother in Cinderella? Well he won’t just roll out and sing bib bi di bub bi di bo and bang! A nice new dress for you. The old man planned while cuddling you in bed……in sofa…..in the gaming chair(?)
He pretends to be busy with something and hasn't listened to you. Even play dumb and say you look cute in the school uniform. Well it’s not totally a lie since he thinks it’s adorable. Why would he poke on your cheek and nibble your neck while you are in your uniform if it’s not because you are so cute to him.
The truth is, this old bat is as excited as you. He lived through the war time and never got a chance to enjoy a leisure party before. Well it’s just a joint event of 2 schools. It can't compare with how grand the royal ball of the Briar valley held a ball but this is the first time he is going to have his lover join him. He doesn’t have to be alert from enemies. Doesn’t have to command his subordinates to search all the parties involved in this event. Just lay back enjoy the day with you.
He had been trying to recreate that dress in his memories just for you. It was around……..hundred? Two hundred?? Year ago??? He walked past this girl on the street and was stunned by her attire. It’s an elegant dress with black velvet and green emerald. Soft flare neckline covered the black corset. Enough skin to show your radiant but not too much.
Well, He was allowed to give you some hickeys before the day of the ball. It got enough fabric to cover all his naughtiness. Wink*
However he was troubled with the skirt since he only remembered just part of it flowing past him. He argued if it’s short or long skirt. He was going back and forth and even tried to summon multiple dresses to compare them…….Then before the final day. He just uses his sense of style to bring it together. Of cause ! Who do you think he is, if not the cutest boy in NRC ? (Self proclaimed……)
He smiles so proudly with your flushed cheek as he teases you. As you put on a golden belt with a bat and thorn on. This is the perfect dress for you. His baby bat. He should had prepare a ring for this big day but well…….there are plenty time for that
Bonus : He pick a perfume for you today and as you dance with him on the floor. It’s totally Lilia’s scent///
This is very long………..more than I expected
I’ll continue Silver & Sebek in part 2 then 😂 sorry I’m so into it with my oshi! I’ll try pack in other dorm in one post! Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoy!!
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screamingcrows · 4 months ago
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I am sadly not immune to all the talk of Veritas Ratio in a modern university setting... (Manu - I hope I can call you that - your posts are so sweet) pair that with the autumn mood and you get this;
tags: pure fluff, they're about to be dating your honor, modern university au
minors do not interact!
Veritas had been puzzled at first, while it wasn't exactly odd for you to be fidgeting with something during lectures, it was usually limited to a specific set of items: your water bottle, some form of pen (he had a spare of your preferred tucked away in his bag for the inevitable bad days where you'd had to leave your dorm in a hurry), or the keychain on your bag.
Whatever this new item to catch your attention was, your hand had practically been glued to the inside of your pocket for two weeks.
Conveniently hidden out of sight, forcing his hand.
He catches you at your usual autumn spot, at least it was last year, a fairly secluded bench sheltered from the elements by four old chestnut trees.
You jerk in surprise when he sits down next to you, and warmth blooms in his chest when you close the book in your hand and lightly smack the top of his head. Still, there's no real power behind it. Only one hand is holding the book after all.
"Your pocket," his gaze is momentarily drawn to a lone magpie rummaging through the first yellow leaves to bed the ground.
"My pocket?"
A sigh leaves his lips as you parrot his words, turning to look upon your face. Veritas thinks his heart might burst at the soft confusion etched into your features, so reminiscent of a delicately carved masterpiece and still containing so much that could never be conveyed through cold stone.
"Yes. You've been fiddling with something in your pocket for a few weeks. At first I assumed it was a loose thread, but it persisted through days regardless of your outfit," cool air caressed his cheeks as he breathed, carefully tuning his voice to your widening eyes, "naturally, I've grown curious as to the nature of that item."
Silence sweeps through the air, enough that Veritas can faintly hear the buzz of people closer to campus. What would normally be comfortable, has him shifting a bit. Too keenly aware of your downcast eyes, his hands find solace in adjusting his scarf.
It feels invasive when you pull your hand out, and he finds that perhaps this knowledge wasn't worth the price. But the words never make it from the tip of his tongue, not before you've opened your hand to reveal a single chestnut.
He blinks, the smooth brown reflecting what warm sunlight pierces the overhanging canopy.
You're already talking again, "-and I've just always grabbed one since that, it's just a silly tradition but I enjoy it and it's harmless and-"
"Would you tell me how, in detail?"
The way your shoulders slumped a little confirmed his theory, you'd been about to rile yourself up with nervous ramblings. Veritas turned towards you, leaning against the bench while you sought out words.
"The first thing you do is to gather the very first chestnut you lay eyes on," what else was there to do but oblige in the face of your expectant pause, "and then you whisper a wish to it."
Again, he obliges, wringing his nose at the faint scent of detritus that already clings to anything picked from the ground.
"Now you just, well you carry it with you, just like you carry a wish. And if the wish comes true, then you take it to a stream and throw it in after thanking it."
"And if it doesn't?"
Veritas notes with satisfaction how smooth the chestnut feels under his skin, and how pleased you look upon catching him shift it between fingers.
"Then you return it to the ground, bury it somewhere, and let it bloom when spring comes."
A charming sentiment, even if you kept waving your hands dismissively. There'd been no deeper meaning behind it, just a parent taking measures to keep little hands occupied.
It was sweet, the memories painting your eyes with colors he couldn't imagine never getting to see again. Time worked differently with you, it always did, and too soon did the evening air chill.
Several hours had passed, time that Veritas should have spent studying, had allocated in his schedule for completing at least two assignments. Yet he couldn't quite find it in himself to mourn.
"Here," he removed his scarf to bundle it around your neck, deft hands adjusting it to let you breathe, "you were shaking, maybe it's time to head inside?"
Something foreign drifted through your eyes and held him captive, leaning forward like this would make it so easy to-
Your lips were just as forgiving as your words, molding perfectly against his even in the brief moment before his mind caught up and he pulled back.
An apology was at the tip of his tongue, cheeks already heating up and mind thrown into a frenzy unrivaled by the most advanced calculations.
All thoughts of your friendship souring turned to dust when he saw you stand, throwing your chestnut as far towards the little lake nearby as you could.
Oh.
With a thundering heart, Veritas pocketed his own chestnut, unable to resist the urge to give it a little pat.
"Wait- you still have yours? Veritas what did you wish for?"
A laugh bubbled from his chest at your expression morphing from bliss to pure petulance, the sound sending flutters through his body, how rarely he could let go.
And always in your presence.
"Veritas! It's not funny, it would've been so romantic!"
He merely hummed, enjoying the fleeting heat of your skin as he brushed a lock of hair behind your ear, "perhaps I wished for something less fleeting."
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mister-a-z-fell · 7 months ago
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People often say to me ‘Aziraphale, what exactly is Firmament?’
And by ‘often’, I mean ‘twice’, and they don’t so much say it as send me little enquiries on the Twitters and the Tumbler, along with inexplicable demands to know whether Crowley or I go ‘on top’.
I’ll get to the point in a moment, but, since you’re here, I would like to make it clear that our sleeping arrangements are nobody’s business but our own.
In any case, we don’t own a bunk bed, so the point is moot.
The subject of Firmament first came up on a clear night a few hundred years after I followed Adam and Eve out from Eden. Seth — their third child — was lying on a stone outcrop near the settlement, watching the sky, and I was sitting a little way off, keeping an eye out for scorpions.
‘Ol-ah-kwa*?’ The boy was usually full of questions, but that night he’d been uncharacteristically quiet. ‘What are they called, the lights above?’ It wasn’t the first time he’d asked and he already knew the answer perfectly well, but that was his way.
‘Those are stars. Has your father shown you how to find your path by them?’ He shook his head, and I resolved to talk to Eve in the morning.
‘How are they there? Are they like flowers on a bush? Or spots on a lizard? How many there are.’
I wished Crowley had been there, just then. He could have explained it so much better. I did my best, although I think I left him with the impression that every star hovered high in the heavens like a hummingbird, and he took some convincing that they wouldn’t eventually grow tired, having nowhere to perch, and come crashing down around us.
‘But why are they like fires? If they were made to fly up there forever, why don’t they grow feathers and just be birds?’
‘Well, that would rather defeat the purpose, B-qa-lyl**.’ And that might have been the end of the matter, but the boy had long since learned my weakness.
‘Don’t you know?’
And this is what I told him:
‘They are stars, because God told them to be stars. If She ever decides that they should be birds, then birds they will become. She told your father and mother to be human, because there was a place made in the world for humanity. Your purpose in this life is to discover what it means to be human.’
‘What about the next life?’
‘Wait and see.’
And this is what I didn’t tell him:
In the Beginning was the Void. And God spoke into the Nothing -That-Was, and that word was the first Firmament.
Firmament exists without mass, without substance. It is the Almighty’s intent, Her design, Her love; it is a blueprint for reality, pure potential and the Universe is spun with its threads. In the hands of the Virtues, it takes on form, accretes matter — becomes Material, a mechanism turned with a key that sounds like ‘LET THERE BE’.
Firmament can only be seen by the shadows that it casts. Gravity. The way that particles converse. Electromagnetism. Slood. It moves in mysterious ways and it reaches everywhere that is not Void. One day, scholars will glimpse the outer edges of ‘omnipresence’, and call it ‘quantum entanglement’.
I should have found a way to explain that — while stars aren’t birds — they share their firmament as all the brush stokes of a masterpiece share their canvas, as the individual notes of a melody are carried on the same breath. Everything touches everything. ‘Look what ye have done unto one of the least of these my brethren, the same have ye done unto me.’
Perhaps if I’d taught Seth that all that lies between each of us and the furthest, strangest star is a triviality called ‘distance’, which only really has meaning inside the preserve of mortal dimensions, he might have understood. I tried to explain it to his descendants, but perhaps they were too old, too certain of themselves, to listen. I was never much of a teacher.
Later, in all the confusion of Babel, rāqīa (something beaten thin to form a surface) and rakhmyn (love) went their separate ways, and whenever I encountered the subject of… celestial scaffolding — for want of a better word — it came in the context of the former. A shell to support the stars, to hold back the upper waters. They forgot about the ‘love’ part.
Later still, Crowley got volubly drunk with a fellow named Copernicus and made some progress, but even his controversial model couldn’t let go of firmament as the pastry around the universal profiterole.
Then there was Giordano Bruno… but we don’t talk about him.
So, here I am, trying again. Hoping that I’ve explained myself better this time, because, after all, that’s what an angel is: Firmament imbued with mind, and grace, willed into life by words of purpose unique to each one of us. Wearing atomic fancy-dress so that we can speak to you in words you can comprehend (ideally without falling down and giggling while your hair smoulders gently).
We are, at base, figments of Her imagination, which is so powerful that it was necessary that She invent free will to stop all things yielding unfailingly to Her whim. As a consequence, reality tends to become malleable in our immediate vicinity.
What is Firmament? It’s everything. It’s Creation. It’s humans, and demons, and angels. It’s stars, and it’s the walls of Eden. It’s the bullet, and the finger pulling the trigger, the magician and the audience, and the shocked air expanding in ripples from the burning powder. It’s the scalpel, and the flesh. And inside, beneath the dancing atoms, it’s love.
Try to remember that part, because sometimes it seems very well hidden.
It’s love.
*Brother
**Something small
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stackslip · 7 days ago
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like i'm all about critiquing the execution of 03's ending and how sloppy cos is as an actual conclusion bc there's stuff that can be excused (the rushed production and cancelled final season and how little time/money they had and how much stress they were under) and stuff that can't (i love terminarcher objectively but it is deeply silly; winry's arc should have been concluded; imo it could have been executed better as much as i love the themes and ever since i learned of the original plan to finish the show in liore again i have been dying about it; cos is frankly a disaster on the amestrian side and nothing about the way it treats roy and riza makes sense except that the military are fan favourites who HAD to be in the big budget shounen movie)
but you cannot, for the love of everything holy, tell me with a straight face that manga/brotherhood's ending is better, nevermind perfect. like is it all tied up neatly. yes it is and herein lies the issue, again, bc it's so desperate to be a good happy ever after for everyone that it chooses to ignores the most vile implications of many characters' fates and plot threads' endings just so the Designated Good Guys can get domestic married and roy can be a benevolent military dictator. i've even seen people say that bh's ending inherently values winry more because she gets married to ed and settles and has babies with him. and yknow for how fucking messy the ending of 03 is, and how much of a weird mixed bag of a follow-up cos is too, for how out of context it SOUNDS weird but really if you've actually been following the plot and themes it fits perfectly, the ending to 03 is actually thematically coherent with its themes from the very beginning and drives home all its most salient points as hard as it can.
like sure the ending to brotherhood is much simpler and effective but you think about it for more than like five minutes and want to throw up. roy uses the souls of ishbalans to heal his eyes and becomes the fucking führer. ed and al have done nothing wrong ever. all the evil of the amestrian military comes from this Big Alien Bad Guy who Just Felt Powerless and when he's gone amestris is now a benevolent society that just happens to use ishbal as a frontier colony. scar wails and sobs about how evil he was for killing the people who actively participated in the genocide of his people while being scowled by an amestrian soldier. winry gets a domestic het ending. ling is gonna be cool emperor now and i guess mei can just deal with it. did any of the women ever really matter bc i keep being told brotherhood is a feminist masterpiece but what do any of them do besides return to the status quo with their boyfriend/husband/master or get domesticated and then olivier keeps being a fascist girlboss i guess. yay happy ending and don't you dare think about it deep it's not THAT deep, says the same crowd that calls og fma an anti imperialist masterpiece and a perfect series
meanwhile no matter how much 03 stumbles it legitimately feels like it's taking a look at all of these contradictions within the manga and slowly strangles them to death while looking you dead in the eye. THERE IS NO WAR THAT DOES NOT CONCERN US, ALCHEMY AND YOUR VISION OF PROGRESS ARE BASED ON MASS DEATH AND ATROCITIES, YOU CANT SAVE THE WORLD SINGLE HANDEDLY BUT THAT IS NO EXCUSE FOR NOT FACING THAT WORLD FOR WHAT IT IS AND STILL CHOOSING TO TRY TO MAKE IT A LITTLE BETTER. and then i have to hear all about how grimdark and supposedly lacking in hope it is when it literally ends on the realization that you cannot separate yourself from the world or ignore its issues you have a duty to it and it is bigger than your dreams or selfishness. anyhow
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love-and-deepspace-fanfic · 7 months ago
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IN THE NAME OF THE FORGOTTEN
Finally! I have finished this little story for our little fishie's newest card, "Floral Promise," and have decided to take part in the Contest in honor of his first kiss as well.
So I would very much appreciate it if you could give some support to help celebrate this precious kiss together!
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Now is the time for some #delulus!
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What's going on in Rafayel's mind during his "first" kiss?
IN THE NAME OF THE FORGOTTEN
"Every name holds an invisible thread, binding souls together. Just as I, the moment you called my name, was forever held within your grasp.”
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I had envisioned today to be a mere excursion into nature's embrace, yet from the moment of our departure to our return, I was enveloped in a symphony of joy alongside you, and even delved into the secrets I long concealed.
Hmmm, where to begin? Perhaps from our journey itself.
The instant my gaze met yours as you sparkled at a couple gifting each other flowers along the way, an irresistible urge to replicate their gesture seized me. But flowers are best admired upon arrival, so my resourceful mind concocted a plan – sketching a flower for you. Much did I long for you to recognize the hidden significance it would hold, for the flower I depicted was the very one I yearned for you to behold today (Fortunate indeed that I carry my pen wherever I roam!).
Yet, what did you say in response? You questioned my sincerity? Could you fathom the depths of my contemplation, seeking the perfect means to convey my heartfelt intentions? For to me, gifting mere flowers felt far too commonplace.
Before I could unveil my grand surprise, you surprised me even further. In a moment of tenderness, you clasped my hand, drawing it closer. Your warm fingers holding the pen you took from me traced the contours of mine, gently caressing my skin, sending shivers of delight down my spine. You lowered your head, your silken tresses cascading over your exquisite visage, leaving a few strands to dance playfully in the breeze. Little did you know, I yearned to embrace you then, but sensing your focused concentration, I restrained my impulse. To interrupt would not only earn me a reprimand, but also deprive me of witnessing the masterpiece you were crafting for me. Indeed, such a blunder would have resulted in a loss on both fronts!
When you finally completed your 'opus' and beamed at me, I eagerly awaited the opportunity to praise your creation. But allow me to inquire...
...what exactly did you sketch?
I am no adept at deception, and upon meeting your expectant gaze, I found myself at a loss for words. 
Could the object you had drawn be... a pot? Round with a handle, it bore some resemblance, I suppose. Yet, when I tentatively sought confirmation, you remained evasive, attributing it to your artistic shortcomings.
Who dares to label your artistry as flawed? Not even I!
But your mischievous habit of withholding information has caused me much distress. For the entire drive, I could think of nothing but the mysterious pot you had bestowed upon me.
Arghhhh! You truly know how to torment me, for even now, despite your explanation, its identity remains elusive!
The phrase 'is it a pot?' echoed incessantly within my mind until we reached our destination. I decided to set aside the enigma for the moment and focus on guiding you through the garden's splendor.
The scenery remained as picturesque as I recalled, perhaps even more vibrant, and with your presence, the surroundings exuded an intoxicating charm.
Dreamy lavender, radiant sunshine yellow, pristine white, lush green – all the colors converging within the garden could not rival the crimson glow adorning your radiant cheeks.
So, this is the essence of 'falling for someone in the midst of a scene.'
Witnessing your blissful smile rendered my every effort worthwhile...
As we savored the fragrance of countless blossoms swaying gently in the breeze, my attention was captured by the iridescent aura emanating from the delicate wings of a flitting butterfly. Upon observing the spectrum of colors shimmering amidst its transparent wings as it alighted upon the very flower I desired you to admire, I couldn't contain my fascination and leaned in for a closer look. The moment the magical hues blended seamlessly, I couldn't help but exclaim at the wonders of nature's artistry.
Sight reveals, but it is the heart that truly perceives. And thanks to you, this entire panorama transcended the mundane hues of the past.
Lost in my reverie, I was unaware of my prolonged distraction until I captured your inquisitive gaze.
As our eyes met, did you realize that yours are the convergence point of 300 million colors?
Behold, you claim to envy my ability to perceive a multitude of shades, yet fail to recognize your own power to illuminate those very hues. At least, in my eyes.
If your eyes cannot discern the 300 million colors, allow me to discern them on your behalf and assist you in expressing them. All you need do is gaze upon me.
Engrossed in admiring the flowers and you, I recalled a task I had pending. And while contemplating its execution, a revelation struck me – why not entrust it to you?
An ingenious idea indeed! For you have already christened my paintings, so naming a flower could hardly be a more daunting feat, could it?
Yet, you initially resisted, claiming the responsibility was too grand. Do you comprehend the sheer effort it takes to name every single existence? In that spectrum of 300 million colors, only the one that stirs my soul is bestowed with a name, much like you, a fiery crimson that embodies the nature of the heart within my chest.
Ah, this notion arrived at an opportune moment, for it would not only solidify my sincerity but also hold profound significance.
For a name is an intrinsic part of every being. Each name serves as a unique identifier for an individual. Even identical entities are distinguished by their names. Just as the flower I rescued is, without a name, merely a temporary replica of an extinct bloom. How utterly tragic to be a distinct entity condemned to the fate of a mere substitute.
Therefore, if it be within your power, I implore you to bestow upon it a name, liberating it from isolation, loneliness, and the ostracization it endures for being unable to embrace its true identity.
Much like myself and the bond I forged with you.
For years, I have not heard you utter my name, for it is the essence of who I am, and thus, the very bond we share seemed veiled in dust. Yet, during our game of color guessing, and as I reminded you of the importance of names, you began to truly acknowledge mine.
You gradually began to speak my name, for it represents me and only me. And in these past few days, you have even issued commands to me unconsciously.
Silly girl! You are becoming accustomed to giving me orders, aren't you? But how can I blame you, when I yearn for you to speak my name?
And in that very instant, the moment you questioned whether a name could be a prison, binding the one it identifies, I couldn't help but urge you to try. Speak my name, for you will witness the mark of our connection, a testament to the vow I eternally make to you.
And as you whispered my name, a revelation dawned upon me – the answer I seek has always resided within you, waiting to be discovered.
For countless times have I been plagued by remorse, burdened by a myriad of questions swirling within me about you, none yielding a satisfactory answer because it did not originate from you, the one from whom I longed to hear it.
Therefore, I have resolved that until my very last moment, I will seek you out to find all the answers I need, the most significant question being...does your heart hold a place for me?
And now, as the sigil etched upon my chest merges with the rhythm of your beating heart, I am undeniably certain of your answer. I have always belonged to you, and so, I beseech you, belong only to me.
Actions speak louder than words. A kiss conveys a multitude of emotions.
And this single mark, a symbol of my unwavering desire – that I, willingly, surrender to your hold.
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I had presumed our happiness would culminate in that passionate kiss, but you truly are a master of surprises.
The very moment you inquired whether you might ever forget me, my heart skipped a beat.
Have you...recalled something?
But upon witnessing your wide-eyed innocence, I realized you had merely blurted out the question inadvertently.
How many times have you left me bewildered? Yet, this time...it feels different...
Much like the sigil that only appears when it detects sincerity in your words.
I shall not divulge the mechanics of the sigil's operation!
But...wait a minute...you...what do you mean by 'meow'?
Haizzz...
Truly...
You are my darling, whimsical enigma. Though oblivious to the specifics, you possess the key. I foresee a future filled with your playful torments.
But what recourse do I have? For whatever you command, I vow to fulfill it with every fiber of my being, my beloved bride.
Therefore, it is your turn to answer my lingering query...
What, precisely, is that strange fishie you claim is not a pot?
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lovenmaze · 7 months ago
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“A kiss is the beginning of cannibalism.”
Naruto. Beautiful and kind Naruto. He wouldn’t think badly of Sasuke, right? He wouldn’t think he was vulnerable, weak, selfish, or desperate. No, the Naruto he knows wouldn’t do that. Not his Naruto.
Sasuke softens at that, and tries; “Naruto? I- Can you touch me? Not the– just.. I just need physical contact. To ground myself. I–”
Naruto looks at him quite shocked, Sasuke doesn’t usually ask things like that. Sasuke tenses upon seeing his reaction, but Naruto quickly replies, “Hey, hey, it’s okay, nothing weird, don’t worry. You okay with holding hands?”
Sasuke inhales, then nods.
Naruto smiles and takes his hand.
He looks at their intertwined hands, it’s everything. Sasuke is holding the sun in his remaining hand, perhaps his other hand was a sacrifice for this. But it’s still not enough.
He wants to bind their bodies together, sew their bones tight, and take a bite of each other’s heart, like a ritual done in front of an altar, with a god as their witness.
Sasuke tries to calm down, but the thing within him can’t stay put, his blood is rushing, like a stormy sea; it’s maddening. The heat of Naruto’s hand is passing to Sasuke’s, his usually cold body melts under the touch. The hand of the person who saved him is within his grasp, gentle and heavy; it will ground him, warm him, and care for him. Sasuke would bleed himself open if he could if that meant showing Naruto his heart, which was so full of – Naruto, that he could hardly call it his own.
Sasuke’s heart picks up its pace, his chest tightens, and so does his grip on Naruto’s hand.
“Sasuke? You okay?” Naruto asks, Sasuke turns to look at him. It’s so blue, Sasuke could drown in them. He could never forget those eyes, he’d see them when looking up at the sky, or when he closed his.
Sasuke doesn’t say anything, he just stares at Naruto, and then at his lips.
Naruto notices, and licks his lips. God, Sasuke wants to get a taste; kiss him so that he can leave a mark, a mark on his lips, so when Naruto talks, his name will be there.
Sasuke must’ve stared for a while, because Naruto shifts and stares back, and suddenly Sasuke is so aware of the eyes on him. And just as Sasuke was about to say something, “Can I kiss you, Sasuke?” Naruto asks.
Shock evident on Sasuke’s face, Naruto panics “Oh, haha! Never mind, sorry, forget I sa–” Sasuke doesn’t even let him finish, instead allowing his lips to meet Naruto’s.
The buzzing in him is louder this time, turning into a melody, a song singing Naruto’s name.
The buzzing mellowed down and turned into a gentle humming, like a sigh of relief, finally. Finally.
It’s a kiss, Sasuke realizes. Fuck, they’re kissing. The two melt into the kiss, and warmth spreads all over Sasuke. It was slow, soft, tender; and everything.
Sasuke never thought of kissing, the act itself didn’t appeal much to him. And yet he’s here, kissing Naruto, and everything feels right; puzzle pieces slowly unraveling a masterpiece, a masterpiece of them. He feels Naruto place his other hand on his cheek, the other still intertwined with his, they’re both afraid of letting go.
Sasuke feels himself slip out of Naruto’s touch, weakened and overpowered by the feel of him. The kiss is slowly unraveling Sasuke, thread by thread, until he’s naked to the bone, revealing his beating heart.
In the heat of the moment, Sasuke thinks about their first kiss, it was a childish and silly accident, while this, was everything he had wanted. It’s so much — too much, and yet it isn’t enough, something in him wants more — he wants more. He wants everything Naruto can offer, and Sasuke, lets out a small noise, Naruto is everything.
Their lips find their way towards each other, they crash and collide; they glide against each other like a dance shared by two lovers; or a language only the moon and sun spoke of, like an eclipse.
They grew up thinking they were made for violence, but maybe this is what they were made for. To love and cherish each other, to kiss each other.
They pull apart, and Naruto groans, hands now making their way to Sasuke’s body. Sasuke relaxes in his touch, something he does with Naruto.
“God, I love kissing you,” Naruto says, breathless.
So do I, Sasuke thinks. He really does.
“It’s like you're made for me, fuck, I-sorry- it’s just-”
Sasuke gets what Naruto is saying, even though he isn’t saying anything, he doesn’t have to.
A beat.
They look at each other, they’re alive. So alive.
Naruto kisses him deeply and slowly, I can taste him, Sasuke thinks, See, he’s alive, he’s on my lips and he’s here with me, he’s alive, he’s alive! We’re alive.
As if both had realized they were alive and together; they reconnect their lips again, but this time with a sense of urgency; like they’re making up for the time they’ve lost. Their slow and careful kisses were now quick and sloppy, and the room was getting hotter.
Need and want are running burningly hot through Sasuke’s body, God he needs Naruto, needs to devour him whole; strip him off of his layers to digest, kiss his lips to stain them red; Sasuke loves so strongly — carnivorously.
Oh.
Love.
That's what it was.
The thing inside him was love all along. He didn’t recognize it, probably because it was different from the love he grew up with. This was burningly scarlet, dangerously green; he was afraid of its burn, its spreading. Maybe this was already in him even as a kid, a flame he forcefully blew out, Naruto rekindling it.
Sasuke hadn’t considered using “love”, to label his feelings towards Naruto; he believed the word wasn’t enough anyway. But he allows himself to love again, it’s Naruto, after all.
Sasuke tries to pull back, while Naruto tries to chase his lips but is interrupted by Sasuke, “Naruto, if we don’t stop–…”
Naruto turns serious, “Do you want to stop?”
Sasuke wets his lips, and pauses. He doesn’t. But he’s a bit afraid. Sasuke wants Naruto to be selfishly, thoughtlessly, and desperately his.
Read the rest: here 🫀
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writerfromshikahr · 1 month ago
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I head-canon that Viago would have pulled every string and called in every favour across Antiva to ensure my Rook had the most stunning Dwarven-style wedding dress imaginable. He knows how important the details are and wouldn’t settle for anything less than perfection for her big day.
The dress would be a masterpiece, blending traditional Dwarven craftsmanship with Antivan flair. Intricate geometric patterns would be embroidered in shimmering gold and deep crimson thread, symbolizing strength and unity. The fabric would flow like liquid, designed to flatter her stocky, powerful frame while allowing her to feel like the radiant queen she is. Teia would have mentioned to Lucanis that Viago had spared no expense on his soon-to-be wife’s gown. The finest dressmakers in Antiva had crafted it, each stitch a masterpiece, while the jewels adorning the fabric had been sourced from Orzammar—a thoughtful nod to her Dwarven heritage.
And her jewellery? Viago wouldn’t miss that detail. She would wear finely wrought Antivan jewels, each piece set with polished stones from the Deep Roads. The ensemble would honour her heritage while dazzling everyone who saw her, a perfect reflection of her strength and grace.
It was stunning. She was stunning.
Lucanis would watch Aloisia walk slowly toward him, her every step deliberate and graceful. Viago would escort her with the utmost care, his hand steady on her arm as the delicate train of her dress trailed behind her like a river of light. He would be utterly captivated, unable to take his eyes off her. For a moment, it would seem as though he’d forgotten how to breathe.
Beside him, Davrin, his best man, would lean over with a smirk and whisper, “You might want to take a breathe Crow, fainting isn’t exactly romantic.”
And when Aloisia reaches him at the altar, Viago would gently place her hand in Lucanis’s, his expression unreadable but his voice firm with meaning.
“Take care of her, Dellamorte,” he would say before stepping back, leaving them to face their future together.
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