#thoughts on episodes
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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the steven universe hate is insane bc people are (or at least were) more upset that fictional war criminals got fictional hugs than they recognize that it singlehandedly advanced queer rep in children's media by lightyears and then straight up ate heavy retaliation for the nerve.
It does have real flaws that are worth discussing, but it also put their male protagonist in dresses and skirts and played it straight and even empowering, they aired a lesbian wedding on television, it was a genuinely queer, genuinely diverse piece of media through and through. It did a lot of real good for the real world.
But also the fictional characters caused fictional harm to other fictional characters, and didn't get an onscreen firing squad sentence. So, you know, it's basically ontologically evil in real life.
#i'll never shut up about how the last season ate a 20 episode cut because it was either that or cut the wedding#and the crewniverse stuck to their guns#of course it was rushed. They were literally punished for being queer#This is why we keep saying “you couldn't even handle steven universe” because not only was it actually good#but it did REAL WORLD good and FOUGHT for real world human rights#but because the fiction wasn't hayes code enough y'all lit the crewniverse on fire for it.#Abysmal priorities. Pathetic.#problemnyatic thoughts#steven universe
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TADC SPOILERS AHEAD!! //
don't forget
#episode made me sad... many thoughts... gummigoo you will always be famous#tadc spoilers#the amazing digital circus spoilers#the amazing digital circus#tadc#pomni#do i tag as gummigoo.... well... he's there in spirit??#gummigoo#my art
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Gummigoo and Pomni's interactions this episode was wild as he didn't know who she is.
#tadc#the digital circus#digital circus#tadc pomni#the amazing digital circus pomni#the amazing digital circus#pomni#gummigoo#tadc gummigoo#gangle#jax#meme#i immediately thought of the office but was still saddened he wouldnt remember her#i honestly cant believe hes back#tadc spoilers#episode 4 spoilers#the amazing digital circus spoilers
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I hope riot drops arcane 2, the longer, not cut version of arcane. All deleted scenes, the originals of shortened scenes, extra episodes if need be. It's such an incredible world and it sucks they had to cut things down, especially since this may be the last we ever see of these characters.
#thoughts#arcane#caitvi#jayvik#timebomb#like i get publishing the originals would've been expensive#every second costs money#but people would pay?#Its a shame something so incredible would have to suffer from pacing issues just because they have time quotas#like i do not care#2 hour long arcane episodes sound like heaven#sorry
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FYI every purchase of any of The Adventure Zone music on Griffin McElroy's Bandcamp will be entirely donated to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund for the rest of 2023. His music is set at 'name your price', and the McElroys are also going to match the donations.
If you've listened to even a bit of any TAZ campaign, you surely know what a fantastic musician Griffin is, and there is no better time to purchase his music than now.
#idk how many of my mutuals/followers are into taz/mbmbam these days#but i know that at one time a lot of people were so i thought i'd share in case some people hadn’t heard#the adventure zone#mbmbam#griffin mcelroy#i just finished this week's episode and so i thought i'd share this
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Tmagp 22 actually makes the whole "you can listen to protocol without having listened to archives" thing so much funnier. Girl you just namedropped the main characters. First AND last name.
#the magnus protocol#tmagp#the magnus protocol spoilers#tmagp spoilers#tmagp 22#I definitely have more thoughts on this episode (which was great btw) but for now you get a joke post
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Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??
As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue
the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD
He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.
like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...
The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"
and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it
does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING
like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow
For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat
Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation
Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with
Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)
But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time
Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell
Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch
idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room
#hazbin spoilers#hazbin hotel#lucifer#lucifer morningstar#analysis#dissociation#look idk what to tell you all#I watched the episode and everything makes so much more sense#when you realize he's only intaking like 50-60% of the conversations#he's not bad at listening his brain is literally preventing him from getting everything#literally I've been there#the difference between him and me tho#is that he can't show it#he's the king of hell#he has to bluff his way through conversations#but yeah literally rewatch the episode with this in mind#and watch him reply to the things he DID catch#anyways#NEW BLORBO????#who'd've thought I would go into Hazbin Hotel#and come out with freaking LUCIFER as my favorite character#I love him#he's so sad
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thinking about how they said grover was affected the most out of everyone bc he was alone and how nico and bianca stayed for 70 years inside that hotel and didn't forget each other bc they were always within reach and how that little detail makes their story even more devastating bc they got through it together and the moment they got out they get separated and then bianca never comes back
#they had their memories erased as well but didn’t forget they were siblings#and inside that hotel they could've easily wandered off but they didn’t#u have little nico yelling for her in the bg of this episode and being so excited and they were probably having fun together!!!!#no thoughts head empty just the di angelo siblings#bianca di angelo#nico di angelo#di angelo siblings#pjo#percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#pjo tv
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i thought it was hard, i knew nothing
#bipolar 2#actually mentally ill#tw depressing thoughts#depressive episode#actually bipolar#bipolar disorder#actually bpd#bpd problems#bpd thoughts#borderline culture is#borderline pd#borderline things#borderline personality disorder#borderline problems#actually borderline#borderline thoughts
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OK OK OK SO
The second I saw this scene I instantly remembered this moment from episode 1
Back then I thought the brightening of the lights was meant to make the moment more intense and to emphasize how scary Kaufmo looks. He even looks like he was trying to overcome his madness for a sec.
But, no!
It’s his reaction to the lights. The hallway was too bright for him!
I bet Caine is fully aware of this fact with the abstracted humans, and that’s why he keeps them all in the cellar where it’s dark.
When Kaufmo was loose in the Tent, he just attacked anything in his path, his many eyes darting all over the place. Contrast this with (who I’m assuming is) Queenie in the soft darkness of Kinger’s pillow fort, all of her eyes trained on him and much more focused.
The Circus is overstimulation for the abstracted. That’s what makes them so aggressive.
#the amazing digital circus#tadc#tadc theory#tadc kinger#tadc queenie#tadc kaufmo#biscuitbites#I have more thoughts#many more#this episode gave me a lot to think about#stay tuned#tadc episode 3#tadc ep 3
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Yeah he’s fine.
#this was so funny in my head#i giggled drawing this fr#he lost his emotional support boyfriend in one episode fr#guys I don’t think sonic is fine#lmao#sonic prime season 3#sonic prime#sonic prime art#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#my art shit#sonadow prime#sonic prime spoilers#sonic#sonadow#sth#i thought sk many things after ep 1 was realeased and this was one of them#this is so funny to me I swear lol
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and together we set out on a journey to find treasure! (id in alt)
#dungeon meshi#marcille donato#laios touden#falin touden#delicious in dungeon#dunmeshi spoilers#for the second img…. anyway this episode was SOOO good - marcille you never fail to make me weep a little#this was one of the chapters that also got me rly into dunmeshi… i like how marcille’s fear is smth that Can be interpreted as broad#and common - like how laios initially thought - but ultimately it’s quite specific… naturally running at a faster pace and attempting to use#magic - her only tool - did not help either. thus coming to deeply desire a unique tool in somebody else’s hands#to build a future where her loved ones can keep running with her. i lauv u so much marcille
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“When I first heard it, from a dog trainer who knew her behavioral science, it was a stunning moment. I remember where I was standing, what block of Brooklyn’s streets. It was like holding a piece of polished obsidian in the hand, feeling its weight and irreducibility. And its fathomless blackness. Punishment is reinforcing to the punisher. Of course. It fit the science, and it also fit the hidden memories stored in a deeply buried, rusty lockbox inside me. The people who walked down the street arbitrarily compressing their dogs’ tracheas, to which the poor beasts could only submit in uncomprehending misery; the parents who slapped their crying toddlers for the crime of being tired or hungry: These were not aberrantly malevolent villains. They were not doing what they did because they thought it was right, or even because it worked very well. They were simply caught in the same feedback loop in which all behavior is made. Their spasms of delivering small torments relieved their frustration and gave the impression of momentum toward a solution. Most potently, it immediately stopped the behavior. No matter that the effect probably won’t last: the reinforcer—the silence or the cessation of the annoyance—was exquisitely timed. Now. Boy does that feel good.”
— Melissa Holbrook Pierson, The Secret History of Kindness (2015)
#dog books#this chapter was very sad reading#when you become aware of punishment#and its use and its prevalence#it's hard not to despair#again this is why positive reinforcement feels like absolution#maybe now my eyes are open I can make up for what I did#what I did because it's what everyone does#because it's more acceptable to punish than to do anything else#I've been having so many thoughts about punishment and society and justice#this book was very validating#another great validating moment in my jumbled thoughts#was listening to the You're Wrong About episode on justice#with Amanda Knox#it helped to ease the despair a little
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I kept thinking about how Mabel said she thought he was dead while being possessed… and it doesn’t take long for blood flow to stop. So I had a thought that none of the injuries caused by bill would truly appear until dipper was back in control. So any fork stabs, bruises, scratches, would only appear when his blood was flowing again.
just a thought
#gravity falls#shooting star#dipper pines#stanford pines#mabel pines#stanley pines#pine tree#wendy#Comic#thoughts on my thoughts?#Any other scary theories about this episode
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hey guys can you watch over these critters for me thanks
#the amazing digital circus#tadc#tadc ragatha#tadc jax#tadc caine#[ ooc ]#[ doodles ]#this is not an au these are just alternate designs for a fic i've been constantly putting off#it's called ' juxtaposition ' if you like . want to refer to those designs by name or something .#but yeah i was drawing these while i was waiting for the episode 4 premiere#i Was about to post them once i put out my one or two thoughts about the episode but unfortunately I Got Insane so . delayed#i loooveeee how quickly the second doodle got relevant regarding the recent discussion of ragatha not being a pure angel nor a villain
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