#thoughts about rdr2 hurt me
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kingethera · 11 months ago
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Play Red Dead Redemption 2
Relate to and become attached to characters
Think about Red Dead Redemption 2 a lot
Cry
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guavagyal · 5 months ago
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I've been replaying Far Cry 6 & I'm doing that thing in RDR2 where I'm extending the amount of time you spend in the game so you can enjoy being around Sean, Lenny, & Hosea. but it's Jonrón and El Tigre in this case.
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cowgirlcasanova · 5 months ago
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I made the mistake of clicking on a link to a reddit thread about abigail marston.
the way the men on there talk about her makes me physically feel sick. the names they call her, the way they describe her and john’s relationship, the way they constantly bring up her past in a negative way.
They seem to lack any and all artistic thinking skills. to me, one of the main points of media and art is how you’re supposed to analyze and discover the things they aren’t outright said. You have to dig a little deeper, you have to actually think. The people on that godforsaken website seem to just not have/be able to do that!
abigail was a prostitute. yes, we all know this men of reddit and it’s okay! please shut up about it!!!!
she was also an orphan, even worse for the time, an orphaned girl. she had little to no opportunities in the world she was born into. EVEN JOHN KNOWS THIS. “she’s a woman in a man’s world” and they act personally offended on johns behalf. john was an orphan too, i can promise you he understands how hard it is to survive and he doesn’t look down on her! Not that it even begins to matter if john or anyone else “understands” her reasoning for her choice of survival. It doesn’t. it simply matters that abigail was incredibly strong throughout that time of her life and rest. she survived and did whatever she could to and that is to be appreciated.
These men seem to have this one single idea that “abigail was prostitute so john thought baby not his cause so many men 🤓” SHUT. UP. no actually that was so much more actually john not ready to be a father and being afraid of himself!!!! honestly speaking, the entirety of that situation has very little to do with abigail herself. but no they’ll never understand that because it was written out in black and white and you may have to think a little to get to that conclusion. not to mention, they could never accept it because then john marston wouldn’t be as “alpha” BE QUIET IM BEGGING YOU.
the way they discuss abigail and uncle made my skin crawl. there is nothing else said about that relationship, there is no one specific cannon explanation as to how or why they knew each other. but the men i saw discussing it said such disgusting and vulgar things about how uncle “reallyyy knew abigail”. truly horrifying. There’s so many different ways they could’ve crossed paths. she was a prostitute but that’s not all she was. she was still a woman, a person. i can assure you she had other hobbies and activities that she did, that she enjoyed doing.
not to mention how it seems to be such an odd and disgusting fantasy for them that “everyone in the gang had abigail” i hate to break it to you but no they didn’t! Now this is up for debate for a lot of people and i actually want to make an entire post just dedicated to this. When looking at both instances where that was said, it was purposely said to hurt john and throw him off. not to mention, abigail was never around when it was said. There wasn’t an instance of anyone saying it in camp or even throwing an insult to john about it in rdr2. hmmm i wonder why that is????? Bill said it to make him stumble and dutch said it because he knows john and he knows how to hit him where it hurts. But, i don’t think any of it is true. of course no internet bro is going to actually think into enough to even be curious so!
abigail marston is someone to be admired. someone who persevered as much as any man in that gang but she doesn’t get the same appreciation. she probably had to work just as hard if not harder than some of the men just to stay alive in her youth. Abigail marston is not a nag, she’s not annoying, she’s not “mean” to john. take a step back and look at what she’s responding to and give her the same grace you give arthur and john. “oh well arthur just had a hard time showing emotions because of the way he was raised” “oh john couldn’t deal with everything so he ran away for a little bit it’s okay.” let abigail have that same grace.
so sorry this was not meant to be this long. clearly it has been nagging at me. if you read this love you and love abigail marston!
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maeedrg · 24 days ago
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Satoru, Oh Satoru
Y/n’s goodbye letter
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ᯓ★
Synopsis : In which you write and send a letter to your ex fiance, Gojo Satoru, before his deathly battle with Sukuna. Broken promise, he wishes to see you again, the love of his life, one last time before it’s too late. [The letter is the Mary’s goodbye letter to Arthur Morgan from RDR2]
Words count : 2k
Warnings : heavy angst, slight comfort, major character death, spoilers of the end of the manga, reader is called « wife » once.
જ⁀➴ ⠀ׂ Autor’s note : I love Red Dead Redemption 2, and the letter of Mary is haunting me. It’s been weeks since I wanted to write about it, so here we go, with Gojo instead of Arthur Morgan ! English is not my first language, sorry for the mistakes.
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“My dear Satoru,
You never showed up, and now, after looking at the newspapers I understand why. I don't imagine you will receive this letter but I nonetheless must send it.
Satoru, oh, Satoru. I was just starting to dream the silliest and softest of dreams. I miss you, and I will always miss you but I cannot live like that, and it seems you cannot live any other way.
When I am with you, the world makes sense but when we are apart, I see clearly that your world is not a world from which one can escape. I am so sorry, for everything, for everything long ago and for leaving you. There's a vulnerable man within you, Satoru, but he is wrestling with a giant. And the giant, wins, time and again. You've broken my heart, again, and I fear I have broken yours.
For that, I will never forgive myself but you must let me go now. I enclose a ring you gave me many years ago, when we were both young, not because I don't like it, but because I care for it far too much and it reminds me too much of you. I hope, one day you will find some people in love who can use this, for it kept me thinking of you all these years, and I hope by returning it to you I can finally be free. So please, win, and come out alive.
Goodbye.
y/n”
Are those water drops ?
Satoru blinks once, twice, before realizing that tears roll down his rosy cheeks and wet down the paper. He slowly opens his mouth in a shuddering breath, knuckles tightening against the letter he was holding in his hands. He is crying, Gojo Satoru is crying. Heavens know that this man almost never cried since the day he was born. But the way his heart was hurting so much, each breath being a stabbing inhale, as if a dag was slicing open his lungs and cutting into pieces his poor sweet damaged heart, confirm it. Yes, he cries. He cries this forgotten moment, he cries you, he cries your love, lost in the nostalgia he feels.
The Strongest, no, Satoru, never thought he would lose the love of his life twice. The first time was when you left him years ago, three more exactly, and God it was his own damn fault. He knows it more than anyone else, more than you.
The second was today, when he opened this letter you sent him and read it 5, 6, 12, 23 times. Hell, at first he thought he was hallucinating when he received it this morning. Why ? Why today ? The day he was supposed to have no single regrets, because he knew it would be the last time he would be on earth. He prayed that you forgot about him, hated him, cursed him in your soul forever, so he could die without your and any regrets.
23rd of December. Tomorrow, it will be the 24th. Please, please, please. He doesn’t want to die now. Will he really win ? That was just a sentence said to reassure himself, to convince his students and his own heart that everything will be alright. But the “what if” came along, and he ended up writing letters to his students in case he would indeed lose tomorrow. Including you. His long lost love. His ex fiance.
But for fuck’s sake, he didn’t expect you to send him one before he could even finish writing yours.
That hurts, so damn much. Was he even breathing anymore ? He didn’t know. But he had to breathe, everyone wanted him to breathe and to stand up. They needed him. Everyone needed him. But all he wanted, in the end, was for you to need him. Even if he told you the contrary years ago. That was all a lie, to you and himself. Satoru made you leave him, but that was for your sake.
Marrying The Strongest meant having a deadly bounty on your head, the end of your peaceful love, and maybe the end of your own life. He never really regretted what he did, he preferred for you to be safe and sound, away from him. Even if he missed your pretty eyes, your oh so sweet lips, the warmth of your soul and the comfort of your arms.
But now, some hours before his last day on earth, he regretted it more than anything. In the end, he would have wanted to spend his last years in your company if it meant having this kind of death. God, he could have called you his wife. He wasn’t dumb, Satoru was far too smart for his own good. Tomorrow will be his last. There was no need to be delusional about it, but it hurts. It hurts so much. More than he wanted it to be. The Strongest never gets hurt, after all. Because he doesn’t allow it to happen.
He kisses the ring, the engagement ring, he gave you years ago before you returned it to him in this letter. He slowly closes his watery eyes, biting the inside of his mouth, lost in thoughts. He wanted to feel your lips against his one last time. He wanted to be in your arms one last time. He wanted to hear your name coming out of your mouth one last time. He just wanted to see you, before his battle against Sukuna. Was he egoistical to want that, after everything that happened in between the two of you, after the letter you sent ?
“I just… don’t care anymore,” he muttered, standing back up and softly sliding your letter against his still beating heart.
Seeing you was his last wish. May it be granted.
Some minutes after, barely 20, he was in front of your door. It was an unholy hour to grant you a visit, the clock ticking 11.58 PM. In two minutes it would be his official last hours on earth, Christmas Day. If Santa Claus was real, then you were the biggest gift he could ask for.
The moment you open your door, sleepy eyes, greasy pajamas, and then face distorting in utter disbelief when staring at your ex fiance standing right in front of you, time stops. Satoru couldn’t believe his own eyes. His Six eyes were useless, his soul was already screaming to him that the person in front of him was the love of his life.
“Satoru… ?” you whisper, unable to know if you were dreaming, or not. He died a little when he finally heard his name slipping out of your lips after so many years.
You can’t even utter another word, that his large frame is on you. His strong arms wrap around your body, cradling you in the depth of his chest and undying love for you. He inhales, you smell the same as he remembers. Oh, sweet Lord, how he missed this. He felt his heart beating again, his lungs working finally normally, he was breathing. Yes, he was breathing. Thanks to you. He never felt more alive in this moment. What a duality. A cruel duality.
“I did read your letter. Let me say my goodbyes to you too, y/n. One last time, I beg you,” he murmurs in the crook of your neck. Gojo Satoru never begs. Yet, here he was, ready to go on his knees like he did when he proposed to you, to implore one last blessing moment in your presence.
Your feelings were conflicted, you were in the arms of the man that broke your heart, and from whom you just made your goodbyes. Maybe that was mean of you, to send this letter the day before his battle against Sukuna. When you saw it on the news, you understood that it would be maybe your last time being able to reach to him. You told him what you needed to say. For you, that was final. But one thing that you didn’t take accountability for, was his soul wrenching love for you. And, in this small moment of peace before war, you decided to indulge in his vulnerability, no, yours. Wait, both of you were more vulnerable than you could ever be again.
“Satoru.”
“I missed you,” he whispers as he slowly lift his head, blue glossy eyes meeting yours intimately. Tears, rolling down. You couldn't fathom it.
“I’m so, so, oh so sorry. Do you forgive me for breaking your heart ?” His voice is like a whimper, and you feel a part of your soul breaking at his pleading. Your lips quiver.
“Yes, Satoru. And do you forgive me too for breaking yours ?”
“I never resented you,” he closes his eyes saying that, leaning his forehead against yours. That was unspoken, but you understood the depth of his words. After all, you knew him better than anyone else. He made you leave him, on purpose, and you were aware why he did that. You indeed left, he watched you doing it, unable to stop this tragedy from happening, because you both knew that marrying each other would have been probably the biggest dream and nightmare of your life. You both broke each other's hearts that day.
“I never did too,” you answer, closing your eyes.
“I love you, you know that, right ? Always did."
“I love you, Satoru. I know that you do. And…” you both open back your eyes at the same time, “I realize that loving you was my greatest curse, but your eyes grant me mercy. In them I see the salvation of my soul, but I know that your heart has already cursed me,” you finish in a breath coming from the depth of your being.
Two tears roll down at your answer. One from your eye, one from his. He sniffs, unable to suppress his emotions, and then slowly take out of his pocket two objects. First, a letter, bigger than the one you wrote him. It was unfinished, he didn’t have the time to. He softly puts it in the crook of your hand.
“Read it if I’m gone, if I’m not, then give it back to me in person," he asks you, his pearly white lashes getting wet from the tears in his eyes. You both knew deep in your hearts that you would never be able to give it back to him. Yet, you force a smile on your face.
“I promise.”
The second object, was your engagement ring. Satoru knew it was oh so egoistical of him to give it back, when you send it attached to the letter this morning. He refused to keep it. He still had his on his finger, he wanted you to keep it too.
You said in your letter that you refused to keep it anymore because you cared for it far too much and it reminded you too much of him. Satoru wanted you to remember him. He was sure that when he will die, people would forget about him, and move on. He came to accept that fact. People only cared about the farthest and the greatest grand Gojo Satoru, The Strongest. Once death would take this title from him, he would have nothing left, aside from you.
“Only you can carry my love. Never forget that. You said that you hope by returning it to me you can finally be free. For my christmas gift, let me take your freedom,” he pleads, no, begs. His hand was shaking as he gently slid back the ring on your finger, it was his ultimate wish.
A sob escapes your lips. You cursed him for doing that to you. But how could you be mad, when granting the death wish of your long lost fiance ? You look back at the shiny ring, and remember how you blessed Heavens the day he proposed to you. It hurts to know that you never had the chance to call him your husband. Your love was doomed from the beginning. The world was cruel, so cruel.
“I’ll feel alive as long as I’m in your heart, may you never forget me,” he finishes, tangling his fingers in yours.
His left hand cradles your cheek, and you slowly lean towards him. His lips melt against yours, in this final goodbye, last kiss, last shared moment, heart to heart beating in sync. Your souls intertwined, and Satoru wished he could just die right now in your arms, in the sweetness of your lips and warmth of your love.
“In another life, Satoru. In another life we’ll marry and love each other how we wanted to, just not in this one,” you whisper like a secret to the world against his lips. He smiles through the tears.
“I’ll gladly die with a smile, now.” At least he could die the same day as Geto Suguru, one year after him, joining him in death. At least he could die knowing you loved him no matter what. At least he could die knowing that in his next life he could be by your side, again.
You never forgot him. You kept the ring on your finger, until your last breath and till death do you part. It did.
THE END
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eowynstwin · 4 months ago
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Hi everyone. It's been a while—exactly a month since I last posted to this blog. How have you been?
A month isn't really all that long, but it's enough time to be able to look at everything that happened and understand it better. In the end, the whole situation (I've been calling it The Fuckening in my head) really didn't have anything to do with me. I was unlucky enough to run across someone willing to hurt anyone they could for attention, but also lucky enough that everyone who mattered to me in this fandom went to bat for me.
So I’ve decided to come back to this blog. I'll be posting about call of duty again as well as posting my writing. I also plan to blog about other fandoms (I’d already been doing it anyway); I've been getting back into rdr2, for example, and there's some writing I'd like to do for that.
There’s more context which I’ll put below the cut, but that’s the most important part of what I have to say; I often regret how long winded I can be, so the rest is just self indulgence if you can forgive it. I’ve thought a lot about this choice and I’m satisfied with my decision. I hope none of you will mind.
So, lol, things were not great outside of fandom stuff when it all kicked off, though I didn’t mention it publicly because we all know by now that asking for any sympathy when you’re the target of a mob is more likely to just get you raked over the coals harder. I’m still not entirely sure about talking about all of this, but I have a bad tendency to clam up when I really should be asking for support. So:
I mentioned briefly before the accusations started flying that I was dealing with bedbugs—turns out it was actually something else, but leading up to a doctor’s visit I was convinced I had an infestation, and I was stripping my bed every day to look for them. I had alarms set to wake me up twice a night to see if I could catch them, so I was not sleeping all that well. I couldn’t find anything, but I had no other explanation, and it was driving me fucking crazy. Post doctor visit it turns out I had a viral infection. No idea where I caught it, and nothing to do but wait it out. I had a massive, gnarly looking rash all over my body, and to add insult to injury I developed a fever that took me out for a whole weekend. (I’m recovered now but I have a nifty new scar on my hip from getting a biopsy.)
Next to that, I was having some PTSD flareups of my own. This was (mostly) unrelated to The Fuckening. Now, I understand that that might be hard to believe, given “Myka’s” claims, and I can’t make you believe me. Nor will I provide details to convince you, other than to say there were some things going on in my neighborhood that recalled a period of time in my life that was extremely unstable, and I found myself irrationally terrified to go home every day. For those of you who don’t experience the symptoms of PTSD, I think it’s appropriate to note that it isn’t just emotional turmoil; I, personally, experience physical pain in my entire body that lingers for hours, days, or even weeks after being triggered. (Everything regarding this, too, is fine now. I have a great therapist and a supportive family.)
All of this to say, I wasn’t exactly thinking rationally when I decided to leave this blog and fandom. And I regretted the decision almost instantly.
However, I didn’t want to let grief make any decisions for me, and also I was still VERY scared Myka was going to hunt down my personal information and either dox or harass me elsewhere. I think this fear was justified; it has happened to other writers in this fandom before.* So I decided to take some time to cool off and watch the situation develop without me.
I don’t think I need to get into the details—although if you’re interested in them, @fulltacs has been keeping track of the drama. Given the most recent development with the four obviously sock puppet blogs that popped up and immediately began stirring shit up again, I realized Myka probably would have done what she did with or without me. I just so happened to give her the ammunition she needed to do something REALLY big. It was pure bad luck.
(Also—and I’m sorry if this is just stirring the pot, but after everything they did to me I feel I deserve to make the accusation—I’ve suspected for a while that the two loudest blogs leading the witch hunt against me were far more involved in this farce than anyone has assumed. I have no proof and I do not want anyone to do anything about it on my behalf, leave them the fuck alone. But I will not forget the distress they caused me for a long fucking time, and the only way for me to let this go is to say my piece. So there. Done. Let that be the end of it.)
Having this hindsight, I feel comfortable coming back. I’m still very touched by everyone’s support, which in the end was louder than the harassment. I also think it’s important for people who care about fighting racism in any community not to run at the first sign of trouble, which I did, and I feel pretty sorry for.
That’s the gist of things. If you’ve read all of this, thank you for doing so!
*I was going to add a paragraph about halfmoth-halfman’s situation but decided against it. For one thing, she wants to be left alone, and for another, talking about the experiences of fans of color, particularly black fans, deserves its own post separate from my white experience, if I should even post about it at all.
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darkworkcourier · 2 years ago
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You’re doing Ghost!! Can I request an exercise in sharing body heat in cold conditions that turns into *other* forms of exercise? Preferably a non-military female reader if that tickles your fancy. So excited to see you back on tumblr, I loved your RDR2 and FC5 work back in the day 💕💕💕
Hi yes I’d like to apologize that this tiny prompt turned into EIGHT THOUSAND WORDS OF PORN OH GOD
(Also, try and find all the Far Cry 5 references. :3c As a thank you for hanging out with me all this time!)
Reader works for the National Park Service and gets pulled into a mission involving guiding Ghost to go after a (wink) paramilitary organization in (WINK WINK) Montana. Things go awry.
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“Piss poor excuse for a shortcut, Ranger,” Ghost says to your back.
Your mid-back, actually, since you’re about two feet above him on the hillside which is way steeper than you remember. You could have sworn there was a trail cut through here, or maybe that was a half mile down the ridge, or maybe— Maybe it’s good to not second guess it when you think Ghost’s about a full thirty seconds from ditching you and going off on his own.
“You wanna get shot at?” you ask over your shoulder, voice slightly muffled in your scarf. “Because if you took the main road, that’s what you’d get.”
“I would do just fine,” he replies dryly.
Right, he’s got a tactical vest on. You have a down jacket that would just make for a really interesting display of flying feathers if you got shot. The best defense you have is the handgun he gave you for protection, and a Park Service badge that would elevate the threat of killing a federal employee. Not that Ghost’s targets would care, but it makes you feel better.
The two of you trudge through waist-deep snow, thick even on the incline. You’re practiced enough with winter weather hiking to approach it fairly spryly, but you’re also not lugging an incredible about of gear like he is.
“It’s not that far, anyway,” you tell him, just to make conversation. “It’s this ridge, then the Beaver Dam River, and then the lookout tower.”
“Real walk in the park,” he replies.
“Literally,” you say brightly.
His grunt isn’t very amused.
The biggest problem is the cold. It’s northern Montana in the depths of winter, and every shrieking sickle of wind that cuts through the mountains physically hurts. You’re prepared enough for the temperature drop, but you worry more about what happens after dark, when it goes from tolerable to goddamn polar. If it wasn’t vital for you to be out here, you would have stayed in.
For lack of anything better to do as you finish ascending the ridge, you think on the whole situation. A paramilitary extremist group hiding out in the mountains, some multinational task force you’d never heard of swooping into the park, and you getting swept up into it all and taken on as a guide. It sounds like something straight out of an action movie, but here you are and there Ghost is.
Hell, even his name and whole look makes the reality of all this seem that much out of pocket. He’s dressed in winter tactical gear, white and gray mottled camo, hood pulled down low over the skull-plated balaclava that you’re fairly sure he never takes off. He blends in with his surroundings, but at the same time, he really sticks out.
You get to the top of the ridge, pausing for a moment to take in your surroundings. Sure enough, by your reckoning, you’re about a quarter mile off from the actual trail. It’s easy to remedy, leading Ghost down the relatively level ridge to where the trail appears as a shallow divot in the snow.
Of course, he points it out.
“Got lost, did we?”
You roll your eyes. “Not lost,” you correct. “Just slightly askew on the directions. Everything looks the same in the snow.”
“Thought you knew this place like the back of your hand.”
“I do,” you say, stepping down onto the trail and grimacing when the snow goes up to your hips. Ghost is so damn huge that it probably barely goes over his knees, but you don’t turn around to look. “And I wasn’t too far off!”
“Slightly off is still off,” he retorts.
You really wish they would have sent the nice, happy Scottish guy with you instead.
Once you clear the ridge’s treeline, you see the lookout tower poking above the trees straight ahead of you. Grinning, you point it out to Ghost.
“Affirmative, Ranger. I see it.”
“You can just say ‘yes’.”
You can hear him sigh, and then, “Yes,” said like he’s punching the word out of the air.
The trail crosses over the river, cutting through at its shallowest section for this part of the park. The only problem is that the Beaver Dam River doesn’t freeze, so there’s a very real risk of soaking through your boots and defeating the purpose of having moisture-wicking socks. With any luck, you’ll have some downed trees or rocks to cross over, and the river won’t be too high.
That’s with any luck; the opposite being the luck you currently have, as the river’s clearer than you’ve ever seen it once you reach it. You hiss out a curse under your breath, glancing up and down the banks to see if there’s any easier way to cross.
Nada.
“Shit,” you mutter.
“What’s shit?”
“River’s clear, but it’s... well, it’s fuckin’ cold is what it is,” you say, watching the glacially-fed water happily rush by you.
He shrugs. “Looks shallow enough.”
“It is, except—” You look down at your boots, cringing at the thought of all the fun ways water can get in them.
Beside you, Ghost looks down at them as well. “They’re not waterproof?”
“They are, but probably not for walking through a river.”
“Jesus,” he murmurs, then steps right into the water. You see it course around his ankles, protected by his thick boots that probably cost more than a month of rent back home. Once he’s on the other side, he turns back to you, dark eyes peering out through his mask, making him look like a bizarre death motif hanging out on the banks of a very chilly River Styx.
“Damn it,” you hiss. You’ll have to be quick, not settling long enough for the water to leach into your boots and socks.
It’s probably comical to Ghost to watch you hopping across the river, up until your boot hits something—loose gravel, a slimy rock, or just a pocket of underwater bad luck. Whatever it is, it sends you right on your ass and into the water. The only good thing is that it’s not deep, but that does shit to negate the cold shock that knocks the wind right out of you. Cold pierces right through your clothes, hitting your skin like dozens of tiny knives. You gasp first, then yelp, and finally scramble out of the water and right into Ghost’s arms.
To be fair, in the shock, you didn’t see his sudden movement toward you, so you yelp again—right into his ear—when he scoops you up. His head jerks back, but he holds you steady regardless.
“Jesus fuck!” you gasp, already shivering hard. Parts of you are too numb to register on your brain’s running docket of limbs and appendages, but others hurt like shit.
“You okay?” Ghost asks, sounding a little breathless. His hands are on your shoulders, holding you in place.
Great question; you don’t have a good answer. You nod, but you’re pretty sure the uncontrollable shivering is telling another story.
“Let’s get you to that tower,” he says. His voice takes on the command form you only heard back when you sat in on the task force’s meeting. It’s solid, and strangely comforting to hear him take charge. “Sooner we’re inside, the better.”
“C-couldn’t agree m-m-more,” you manage, crossing your arms and digging your hands into your armpits.
Ghost takes the lead up the trail, which is good because your legs feel pretty damn numb. You don’t think it’s frostbite yet, but you know that’s a very real risk, especially as the clouds overhead start to darken with the oncoming evening. Because of the tower’s high perch, the trail snakes back and forth up the hill—a half hour’s walk in good weather and a steady pace, but longer in your state.
Ghost’s surprisingly patient, purposefully slowing his pace so you can keep up. He looks over his shoulder again and again, like he’s making sure you’re still there and not face-down in a snowbank. On your end, you keep your eyes fixed on his backpack, determined to keep it in your sight.
Halfway up the hill, Ghost decides to change tactics. He stops, shouldering off his backpack, then handing it to you. “Put it on,” he says. “Then get on my back.”
“What?”
“Just do as I say,” he says, brooking no argument in his tone. “It’ll be faster.”
You put on the backpack, not surprised that it weighs a metric ton. At the same time, your vision swims a little, dark shapes appearing in your vision before fizzling out like little firecrackers.
Oh, we’re in trouble, you think.
Ghost makes sure the backpack’s secure before turning around and going down on a knee to give you space to climb up. Non-hypothermic you would find this a great opportunity to make a down-on-one-knee joke, but you’re way too fucking cold to do much more than shiver and hang on to him for dear life. His hands go to the back of your thighs, supporting you while you cling to his neck, pressing your face into the back of his coat.
“You good?”
You nod.
“Need a verbal confirmation, Ranger,” he says, not without a hint of humor.
You manage a stifled, shuddering laugh and say, “Yep.”
“Good enough.”
He carries you up the hill, the incline steep enough to make the backpack feel heavier somehow. You don’t know how he’s managing it as well as he is, except for whatever freakish training they probably do in England. In your swimming, dizzy mind, you imagine Ghost hoisting crates of tea over his head, and that sends you into a giggling fit.
“What’s so funny back there?” he asks. However, you can’t miss the sliver of concern in his voice.
“H-how d’you train in Eng-g-gland?” you ask, the middle syllable briefly caught in the back of your throat.
“How do I what?”
“B-back where-e-ever you come f-from-m-m,” you say, shivering harder even though you can feel his body heat close to your core. “W-what do th-they make you d-d-do?”
He’s quiet for a long moment, and all you hear are his boots crunching in the snow and the wind snapping through the trees around you.
“Vigorous biscuit lifts,” he says.
You snort against his coat, and then cling tighter, feeling your limbs prickle in the cold.
You’re silent the rest of the way up the hill, shivering and sniffling as Ghost carries you. Finally, you reach the top, and you glance up to see the lookout tower’s staircase which until now has never looked so fucking tall.
“Sh-shit,” you say.
“Just hang on,” Ghost says. “You’ll be fine.”
“N-n-no, I th-thought I’d l-l-let go,” you joke, but your arms do feel like they’re going to fall off, and you’re starting to lose feeling in your fingertips.
He grunts and adjusts his hold on your thighs, then starts the ascent up the stairs. You really do have to wonder about his physical training regimen, because you’re pretty sure you’d be dead before you reached the top in your state. He’s only panting, breaths coming out in thin clouds in front of his balaclava.
“S’it locked?” he asks.
“No.”
“Good,” he says, letting you down onto your numb feet so he can open the door. He goes in first, hand close to his thigh holster, quickly scoping the single room before letting you in. "Clear.”
Your steps waver a little as you walk in, then quickly fall onto the bed without much ceremony. You’re a shivering mess, every part of you that you can still feel trembling with the cold. It’s not much warmer in the tower, but at least the wind’s blocked out. Ghost walks over and helps you shoulder off the pack, then leaves your line of site, his presence indicated by heavy footsteps, the sound of the backpack’s zipper being opened, and then soft clanking and thumping.
Your consciousness wavers on a very dangerous precipice, and you know you really need to get out of your wet clothes. You’re not at the paradoxical undressing stage of hypothermia, which is a good sign. But that also means you have no strong desire to strip, either.
Somewhere in your half-doze, you hear Ghost working on the potbelly stove, opening it on its whiny hinges, loading its gullet with wood left over from the last restock, then striking a match. It doesn’t take long to hear the throaty crackle of burning wood, and that’s a comfort in of itself.
Ghost is back at your side, gently shaking your shoulder. “Hey, Ranger,” he says. “Let’s get you out of those clothes.”
“Mmn,” is your best response, and not a particularly eloquent one.
“C’mon,” he presses, then manhandles you up into a sitting position. Your muscles give a pretty passionate protest, and you blink wearily up at him as he helps you take off your gloves, then unzips your jacket. His eyes flicker up to yours, assessing you. “You still with me?”
You nod, lifting your stiff arms for him to help you out of your sleeves.
“You know the signs of hypothermia, right?”
“Y-yeah,” you say, squeezing your eyes shut as a fresh rush of pins and needles goes down your right arm.
“Alright, let me know if any of ‘em get worse.” He drops your coat in front of the stove, then gestures to your half-soaked sweater. “Can you get that off by yourself?”
You nod again, then start the suddenly grueling work of getting out of it. It’s heavy wool, designed specifically to be as thick and warm as possible. That also means that it’s a bitch to get out of when your arms feel like cooked pasta. Still, Ghost’s already doing a lot for you, so the least you can do is prove that you’re better at a toddler than taking your clothes off.
Oh. Yeah, there’s that. You’re taking your clothes off in front of Ghost. That’s a whole thing to parse through.
But you manage to get out of the sweater, and that’s a victory. You drop it next to the bed, then start undoing the laces on your boots, fingers fumbling the whole time.
“Need help?” Ghost asks.
You look up at him, and then feel a very welcome heat rush to your face.
He’s ditched his coat on a chair next to the stove, tactical vest laid aside on the lookout’s desk. He’s down to a skin-tight black long-sleeved shirt that does wonders in showing off his musculature, and his hand are— Holy shit, he’s undoing his belt.
“W-what are you d-doing?” you ask. Bonus points for you that you’re not shivering as hard. Lack of bonus points that you’re openly ogling the lieutenant like he’s a prime beef steak (and he is).
He gestures back to you, one boot off, the other half-undone. “Getting undressed,” he says very plainly. “Fastest way to warm you up. You know that.”
You do, is the problem. It’s in every survival manual you’ve read and every class you’ve taken for your job. At the same time, it’s in at least four romance novels you’ve perused. And you’ve spent nearly four full months without coming into contact with any human being for more than an hour at a time; getting naked with a gigantic, musclebound man nearly sends your addled brain into a tailspin.
You quickly undo the other boot, trying to will your hands to stop shaking.
This isn’t the time to get shy, especially as your limbs ache in new and profound ways and you feel like you’re never going to be warm again.
The boot comes off, then you peel your wet socks off and drop them on the floor with a very telling plap sound. Your feet prickle and ache as the chilled air hits them and your shivering renews in spades. The faster you get undressed and under any kind of cover, the better it is for both of you.
Snow pants go next, then your work pants, until you’re down to a t-shirt and long underwear.
And Ghost is—
Fuck.
If there was any blood left in your suffering arms and legs, it must redirect right up to your face, making your head swim in a whole new body of water. Ghost’s stripped down to his boxers and (of course) his balaclava. His back’s to you, but that means it’s on full display as he puts all of his clothing in a semi-neat pile. When he turns back to you, you see his eyes widen a little as he lifts his brows.
“Still wearing too much, Ranger,” he states.
You know that, but there’s a pretty firm disconnect somewhere in your synapses, body firmly resisting any higher command to do literally anything useful.
He seems to register that issue, because he’s at your side in an instant, tugging on the hem of your t-shirt to help you out of it. You squawk in surprise, almost falling back onto the bed. 
If you could read masked expressions a bit better, you might think he’s amused.
“I— I can d-do it m-m-myself,” you stutter out. Fighting down any urge to be bashful in a survival situation, you get out of your t-shirt, then maneuver yourself enough to take off your long johns. At the end, you’re down to just a sports bra and panties. Pointedly, you don’t look up to see Ghost’s reaction.
“Take this side of the bed,” he says, gesturing to the edge you’re sitting on. “It’s closer to the stove.”
You do so, feeling him get on the bed and go over to the far side closest to the window. He pulls up the blanket and quilt, then slips underneath them before holding them up for you.
With your back to him, you lay on your side and shimmy under the cold blankets. Behind you, Ghost grunts in what sounds like irritation.
“Turn around,” he says. 
You swallow hard, worrying that he’d say that. Reluctantly, you roll over to face him. Or, rather, face his chest, which is alarmingly close. And it’s a good chest, all muscle-y and firm, with a fine dusting of light blond hairs on his pectorals. When you look up, he’s still wearing that balaclava. You squint at him.
“H-how come y-y-you’re still wearing th-that?”
“Doesn’t come off, Ranger,” he states, although the corners of his eyes crinkle like he’s smiling.
“Ever?”
“Affirmative.”
You groan and lean your head forward until it touches one of his collarbones. “Just s-say yes-s,” you complain.
He actually laughs this time, a low, rumbling sound deep in his chest, before you feel his arm wrap around you, pulling him close to him. It’s startling, and damn embarrassing, but you definitely can’t argue with the results. Almost immediately, his body heat seeps into your skin, first warming your hands pressed in between your chests. One of his feet brushes over one of yours, causing you to jump, and then settle with your eyes squeezed shut in mortification.
But that mortification gives way to blissful comfort as everything warms up. The stove radiates heat as the wood crackles and shifts, and Ghost is a stove in himself. The little space beneath the blankets is a pocket of glorious heat, and you start to feel the ache in your limbs recede and your head clear of its chilly fog.
You don’t know how long it is before he speaks again, but his voice comes in close to your ear. “You doing alright, Ranger?”
You’re relaxed enough that you nod and smile with your eyes closed. “Yeah,” you say.
“You ever do this in survival training?”
You scrunch up your nose a little. “I read about it. We never actually practiced stripping down and cuddling.”
He snorts. “It’s not cuddling.”
You crack open an eye, looking up into his greasepaint-ringed gaze. Feeling emboldened by the fact you can feel your arms and legs and nothing hurts, you gently shove his chest. “What do you call this, lieutenant?”
“Hypothermia prevention.”
You roll your eyes. “Just say it’s cuddling. It’s easier. Less syllables.”
He doesn’t say a word.
Before long, the crackling of the fire and Ghost’s steady breathing lull you into a doze. You go in and out of sleep, deeper and deeper as the sky darkens outside and causes the fire to make strange shadows around the room. You wake once to find your arm around Ghost’s waist, your chest pressed against his, the crown of your head under his chin. You’re sleepy enough that this doesn’t strike you as odd or something you should remedy. It’s way too easy to fall asleep after that.
You wake again to Ghost moving against you, getting out from under the blankets and crawling across the bed until he steps down on the floor. You groan and roll over to watch him as he crouches in front of the stove, opening the door to add more wood to the fire.
He stands back up and looks down at you, shadows making his face look like an eyeless skull. You admire his body cast in the warm light, more than happy to openly stare at him when he walks back to the bed.
“You feelin’ alright, Ranger?” he asks.
“Mm. I’d be better if you got back in bed,” you say, heart outrunning your mind by leagues.
He lets out a soft laugh and shakes his head. “Things that sound better outside of a survival situation,” he says.
As he crawls over you and back under the covers, you do manage to parse that sentence out through the thick haze of sleep. You turn back to face him, looking up into the dark sockets of his mask.
“What does?” you ask.
“Hm?”
“What sounds better?”
He’s silent for a thoughtful moment before he breathes out through his nose. “Nothin’. Forget it.”
Nope. You’re not forgetting it, especially as you wake up a little more and take in the sight of him laying next to you.
Briefly, you think back to the meeting back at the ranger station, when Captain Price outlined the mission to gather intel on the extremist group. You stood across the table from Ghost, watching him as he stared down at the topography map, then at the dossier in front of him. But then he looked up at you, eyes striking in his mask. After that, you felt his eyes on you all afternoon, and again in the morning when you set to head out.
At the time, you thought he was just observant. He needed to know he could trust you to lead him through the wilderness, assessing you in depth and measuring you up against the other rangers at the station.
But now? Well, now you’re not so sure. You could test it, though. Now that you have all your faculties pretty well in check, you’re tempted to see how he would react to you.
Besides, it’s dark and the two of you are isolated in the Montana wilderness. The only bad thing that could come of this is a very awkward morning.
So, in line with Ghost’s whole vibe—go big or go home.
You pull yourself into a sitting position, tucking your fingers up and under the elastic hem of your sports bra. The second you pull your bra up, you hear Ghost’s breath hitch. He doesn’t make a sound as you take your bra off, sighing in relief and dropping it off the side of the bed.
Behind you, Ghost’s voice is a dry, hot rasp. “Feel better?”
Nervousness flutters around in your chest as you shimmy back under the covers, bare chest now just a suggestion in the fabric. You force a smile. “I hate wearing a bra to bed, and you’re not wearing anything.”
“Thought you’d be warmed up enough by now.”
Taking in a breath to steady your nerves, you don’t answer but raise one of your hands to brush over his chest. He doesn’t move back, or seize your wrist. Instead, he holds still, letting your fingers explore the textures of his skin—scarring and all. One particularly rough scar catches your attention, and you run your fingers around its circumference.
“What’s this one?”
You don’t look up, but you feel Ghost’s eyes burning on you. “Bullet wound from an insurgent. 2017. Laid up in hospital for three weeks.”
Your hand goes lower, finding a raised scar as long as a pencil above his navel. “And this one?”
His breathing is steady, but you’re more aware of it now, of the rise and fall of his chest, your shadow cast across his skin. “Hunting knife to the gut from a drug trafficker in London.”
“When?”
“2012.”
“How long were you in the hospital?”
“Two and a half weeks. Most of it was from surgery.”
You nod, getting bold enough to scoot closer until your breasts press against his chest. His breath hitches, which feels like some kind of success. Something you should report back to Captain Price.
Then, one of his hands brushes over your side, fingers tracing the curve of your waist, down to your hip. Goosebumps rise on your arms and a shiver runs up your spine, thrilling you. His hand goes back up, then follows a line downward over your stomach to a set of small scars on your right side.
“Appendectomy?” he guesses.
You smile. “2019,” you respond. “In the hospital for two whole days.”
“How did you ever survive?”
“Ibuprofen and HBO,” you reply.
You see his mask move with a smile, and then his hand goes up to your chest, following the divot of your sternum. Below his hand, your heart beats deceptively quick, threatening to upend your calmness. Ghost notices, of course, moving his hand to rest over your left breast, your heart threatening to break right out of there like an escaped prisoner.
His voice is like liquid heat in your ears when he says, “Do you want this?”
You could ask him to clarify—play dumb, like you have no idea what you’re insinuating. But the darkness is so all-encompassing, so protective. The world outside doesn’t know about the world in this room, in this bed. You feel safe here, and there’s an opportunity literally laying in front of you.
You smile, and say, “Affirmative.”
He doesn’t jump into action. Instead, his left hand moves down, massive palm covering your breast, pressing gently as he leans his head down close to yours, hard shell of his mask pressing against your forehead.
You look up at him, reaching to tug at the bottom of his balaclava. “Can you take this off?” you ask. “Or at least pull it up over your mouth?”
Another thoughtful silence, and then he does something a little more unexpected. He pulls you close to him, chest to chest, and bodily rolls you over until you’re on the far side of the bed and his back’s to the stove. This way, you can’t see his face, his mask disappearing in his silhouette. You see him reach up and pull the balaclava off, some of his short hair clinging to the fabric before falling away. He sets it down behind him, probably within arm’s reach.
“That better?” he asks, his voice clearer now, hotter, like he’s removed a physical and emotional barrier.
You grin. “Is there anything stronger than ‘affirmative’?” you ask.
“Hard copy,” he says, and you can hear the smile in his voice.
“Well, then, hard copy, sir.”
And you lean in, pressing your lips to his. In the dark, you miss a little, kissing somewhere closer to his chin; Ghost corrects the approach and kisses you in full. His kiss is like him—strong, solid, an undercurrent of ferocity as he catches your bottom lip with his teeth. Your left hand goes to the side of his face, reeling yourself into him and deepening the kiss. In a word, it’s exhilarating. Maybe it’s in part because of what you’ve gone through today, but you go at him like you crave him, and he returns the favor.
His right hand cups the back of your neck, a gentle but firm pressure. His other hand moves down to your chest, thumb brushing over right nipple, drawing a gasp out of you against his lips. You feel him smile against you, then tweak the nipple again. A small, hot shock of pleasure follows a current down your spine, relaying right into your core and sparking a small fire.
If that’s how he’s going to do it, you’ll do the same.
Pressing your hand to his chest, you bring up one of your knees in between his legs, pressing gently against his crotch and making him bite back a curse. You’re quick to kiss him harder, shutting him up before he can say anything about it. In retaliation, he drops the hand on your neck to palm your other breast, massaging both simultaneously as you moan into his mouth.
Where you were freezing before, it now feels like the room can’t get any hotter. That spark lit by Ghost’s first few touches fans into a fully-fledged flame, threatening to burn right through you. You begin rocking your knee in between his legs—alternating pressure, then no pressure—until his hips begin to move against you, his cock growing hard against your thigh.
You tilt your head back and grin. “Well, isn’t someone an eager beaver?” you tease.
He groans and presses his forehead against yours. “Your pillow talk needs work,” he replies.
Your response to his complaint is to reach down and stroke your fingers over his tented erection, earning a surprised grunt and a hissed, “Shit.”
“What’s shit?” you ask, echoing his words by the river.
His voice is all irritation and arousal in equal parts, “The fact we still have clothes on, that’s what’s shit.”
“Oh. Easy fix.”
Again bypassing ceremony, you curl in on yourself enough to pull your panties off, wiggling out of them before tossing them somewhere in the direction of the stove and hoping they don’t get burnt. Then you hook a leg over his still-clothed hip, grinding against his thigh.
“Jesus Christ,” he groans, reaching up to run his fingers through your hair, then forming a half-tight fist so you’re forced to look up at his silhouette. “Now who’s eager?”
“I think it’s a firm tie,” you say, feeling another thrill of victory as Ghost reaches down to shove your leg off and pull down his boxers. Once they’re gone, all the proverbial bets are off. Aside from the shadow he’s wearing like a second mask, he’s completely exposed to you, bare and vulnerable to every touch. It’s like a drug to you, intoxicating and really fucking addicting.
Apparently, Ghost thinks about the same of you. His hand is back on your hip, but trails down to your sex, palming your mons, fingers just brushing over your labia.
You feel him look at you. “Can I?”
No further question from you, especially when your arousal is threatening some serious whiteout conditions in your head. “Yeah. God, yeah.”
One large finger slides against your slit, and you hear yourself, the slick, wet sound audible above anything else in the room. Ghost curses again, drawing his finger back and forth, listening to that sound like he can’t get enough of it.
“Fuck, Ranger. You’re so fuckin’ wet.”
“You kinda have that effect,” you manage to say, before the pad of his finger brushes over your clit and draws out a moan that you bury in his chest.
But his other hand finds your shoulder, pushing you back, before he nudges up under your chin. “No. It’s just us two out here. I wanna hear you,” he says, his voice so hot, smoldering in your ears.
He rubs your clit again, and there’s nothing to hide behind, no muffler to conceal the gasp and moan that follow. Your pleasure is completely on display, and Ghost seems more than happy to draw it out further, admiring it from every angle. He draws circles around your clit, teasing you, adding more fuel to that particular fire—the irony of feeling this way in a tower meant to watch for fires isn’t lost on you.
His finger goes lower, trailing down to your opening, going back and forth several times. The friction is damn near unbearable, and it takes every iota of self control not to grind on his hand. But your hips roll outside your control, and he catches the movement with another low rumble of a laugh.
“There somethin’ you want?” he asks, index finger running a low, lazy circle around your entrance.
You nod, shuddering when he only just dips the tip of his finger in. “Ghost, please.”
“Please what?”
You hear yourself whine, a sound you never thought to hear coming out of your own damn mouth. This man makes you feel ridiculous. And he also probably gets off on hearing you say stuff like this. “Finger me,” you say, exasperated and aroused. “Please, for fuck’s sake.”
“That’s not very pretty,” he teases, and you’re very close to shoving him off the bed. But then he pushes his finger in, and any retort you were set to say or do dies immediately, consumed in the wildfire he’s ignited and fed. He presses his lips to your cheek as you moan, now very unapologetically rolling your hips against his hand as he fingers you, per request. You feel a second finger insinuating against you, and then hear Ghost whisper, “Okay?” against your ear.
“Yes. Oh my God, yes, please.”
“Much prettier,” he says, and the second finger joins the first.
The thought that he’s done this before only just brushes your thoughts as he hooks his fingers in a ‘come here’ gesture, sending hot sparks of pleasure running through your body, using your nervous system like an electrical conduit. You rock against his hand, moaning and gasping as Ghost kisses your neck, scraping his teeth over your tender skin.
“Good girl,” he says, breath hot over your shoulder, before he presses a kiss against your clavicle. How his kisses can feel so chaste while he relentlessly fingerfucks you is beyond your comprehension. The praise just makes it better, making that hot coil inside of you turn tighter, ready to be sprung on a hair trigger.
Ghost picks up on that, too. He suddenly doubles down on the effort, fingers thrusting into you at a much more rapid pace, the wet sound of his hand against your pussy practically deafening. Only his murmurs of praise against your ear register above that.
You’re reduced to a repetitive litany of ‘god’, ‘fuck, ‘please’, and Ghost’s name. All those months without seeing people and having only your hand to keep you company make this oncoming orgasm all the more vibrant and bright, a flare launched high into the air with a huge charge set to explode.
Your hips arch up, and Ghost hooks his fingers again, saying, “Come for me,” in a firm command tone.
And you are not one to ignore a command.
You come hard, crying out and arching off the bed, toes digging into the mattress, hands grasping for literally anything solid, including Ghost. He fucks you through it, coaxing your release out with the finesse of someone defusing an explosive. You come down in fits and starts, catching on little plateaus of pleasure along the way, moaning all the while. Finally, you go practically boneless on the bed, and only then does Ghost relent and pull his fingers away.
You hear him chuckle, a dry and throaty rasp of sound that makes you feel hot all over.
“What’s so funny?” you say, although your words are slurred as endorphins run relay races through your body.
He holds his hand up so that the firelight catches it, and you very plainly see how wet his whole hand is. To show it off, he presses his fingers together, then spreads them out, showing thin strings bridging between them.
“Oh, God,” you squeak, covering your face with your hands and fighting back a round of giggles. “I am so sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart,” he says, clearly pleased. He reaches somewhere behind him, presumably to wipe his hand off on the side of the bed.
And sweetheart. This man is going to kill you, and it has nothing to do with his occupation.
You tilt your head up to kiss him again, sighing against his lips and pressing yourself close. His right hand finds the side of your face, residual dampness from your orgasm still very present. Except he treats it like a trophy, dragging it down to your neck so you can feel it.
It’s also impossible to ignore his arousal prodding against your hip. Not that you intended to ignore it.
Before you can think and reason out an appropriate response, your primal brain takes hold. “Can I ride you?” you ask, and only after it’s said do you feel any kind of horror at outright asking. He purposefully arranged the two of you so you couldn’t see his face, like a Montana wilderness version of Eros and Psyche. Now you’re asking for him to lay on his back, exposed to you in every way.
He’s silent, and you’re about to apologize and suggest spooning or something when he says, “Sure.”
You blink, almost certain you misheard. “Say what?”
“You can, yeah.”
“What about the—”
It’s his turn to kiss you quiet, taking the opportunity to pull you close again and roll on his back. You meet the movement with your own, straddling his hips and feeling his erection press against your sex with insistence. You keep kissing Ghost with your eyes closed, finding his hand next to his head with your own and weaving your fingers together. His grip on your hand is firm—a solid, warm reassurance.
You turn your head, keeping your eyes closed. “I can keep my eyes shut if you want,” you tell him, only to feel his other hand come up and run over your back.
“You can look,” he says.
It feels like a point of no return now. Seeing his face, knowing that a person who this morning was still a stranger with a codename is now going to be very real—you’re almost breathless at the thought.
Slowly, you sit up while astride him, and open your eyes.
He’s— Well, handsome doesn’t seem like a well-rounded enough word. You were more on the mark with the Eros and Psyche metaphor. Firelight and shadow play across sharp features, making him look otherworldly. There’s still greasepaint around his eyes, which makes his gaze all the more intense. But the intensity is mitigated by a plush mouth, a distinctive nose, and a firm jaw. His light hair catches the warm ember-gold hue from the fire. All his features put together make for a face that you want burnt into your memory.
“Jesus, Ghost. You hide this on purpose?” you ask.
He smiles, and it’s only hearing him speak that connects the Ghost you know to the man underneath you. “Yes,” he says. “And it’s Simon.”
You must look owlish, eyes wide, blinking, damn sure you misheard again.
Ghost seems pleased by your reaction, reaching up with his free hand to brush hair out of your face. “That’s my name. My actual name.”
“Simon,” you repeat. A human name to a human face. There’s some poetry in there, but you’re too dazzled to work through it.
“Sounds good when you say it.”
You preen a little, then lean down and kiss him, savoring the sensation for everything it’s worth. And you know he read your name on the dossier, heard it from the other rangers—still, you whisper it into his ear like a secret, and he repeats it back to you in his low voice, accent curling around it perfectly.
Yeah, you’re absolutely going to ride this man until sunrise.
You reach down and take his cock into your hand, stroking it a few times and pressing your thumb up under the exposed head. Ghost—Simon moans and tilts his head back, watching you under half-lidded eyes. Carefully, you go up on your knees and align yourself with him, slowly lowering down and adjusting as needed. He’s big, which you expected from everything else about him. But it’s not a painful fit; if anything, it feels damn good.
“Fuck,” he breathes, hand stroking over your hip as he looks to where you’re joined. “You have no idea what you look like right now.”
“Neither do you,” you reply, very much enjoying the angle. He fills you up completely, the strain of him just a pleasurable ache. You moan at the sensation as you experimentally rock on top of him. “Ohhh, I am so glad you got me off first.”
“What can I say? I’m chivalrous,” he replies, although it sounds a little strained as you move your hips again.
“That’s what you call it?”
Another roll, and he looks like he’s seconds from thrusting up into you. But he’s being conscientious, letting you adjust and go at your own pace. His eyes flutter closed, and you almost want to ask him to keep them open so you can enjoy their expressiveness.
“Something, something about being a British gentleman,” he mutters, and you can’t help but laugh. Apparently, that sensation’s pretty good for him; he shudders beneath you and keeps his hand braced on your hip.
Without his mask, you want to put him through the paces of reaction, committing each expression to memory, cataloging them for future use. So you go up on your knees again and come off his cock, then bring yourself back down. You do it a few more times, watching Simon’s expression with enormous interest, the pleasure and arousal doing fabulous things to his face.
He moans your name, and you’re definitely going to use that as fantasy fodder in the future.
Your earlier orgasm gives you plenty of lubrication to work with, and so you start to fuck yourself on him in earnest. In return, you’re rewarded with a low moan and a quiet, “Fuuuuck.”
The friction feels way too goddamn good, setting up another explosive charge inside of you as Simon starts meeting the bounce of your hips with thrusts of his own. Two opposing forces working toward the same goal, and it feels incredible.
You start to rock back on his cock, using his upward thrust as momentum to hit you just right. It’s the perfect angle, apparently for both of you, as Simon’s now breathing heavily, sweat a fine sheen on his skin.
“Yes, Simon, fuck me,” you whisper, beyond turned on at the wet sound of him fucking into you. You can’t tell if it’s hearing his name like that, the command, or both that make him really lean into this, but he’s pushing up hard, groaning and pulling you down so you’re pressed to his chest.
You wonder how long it’s been for him, too—briefly thinking oh god what if he’s got someone back home and I’m a fucking homewrecker before one particular upward thrust makes you cry out, clenching down on him in a way that’s audibly very good for him. You turn your head enough to see your joined hands, and when you squeeze his hand, you don’t feel any rings on his fingers. He does squeeze back, though, and it just feels like another reassurance.
There’s no way to keep track of time, and you really wish this could go on forever. The heat generated between the two of you is scorching, all-encompassing, a forest fire caught on the cusp of the lookout tower and reported to no one but yourselves.
His pace stutters a moment, the first hint that he’s very close. He releases his grip on your hand to grab at your other hip, pushing you up and off of him before you resolutely sit down, taking his cock in full and drawing a sharp gasp out of both of you.
“No,” you pant. “No, I have an IUD. You can— Ah, fuck— You can come inside me, Simon.”
“Oh, bloody fucking Christ,” he breathes, eyes wide and beautiful. “You’re sure?”
In response, you rock back against him, squeezing hard around his cock. “Affirmative,” you say, then lean down and kiss him again. “Very hard copy.”
And that’s enough to tip him right off the edge. He thrusts once, twice, and then he moans against your mouth, one of his hands going up to card through your hair, pressing you so close to him that you can feel his heart beating against your chest. You feel him come inside you, a pulse of heat, a sense of fullness. The room seems to take on new, brighter colors, and when you look at Simon, he looks fucking euphoric. The firelight gives him a look that’s like a touch of divinity, a golden cast over his face and body.
You take your time getting off of him, enjoying the feeling of him inside you too much. That, and there’s no bathroom, no shower—the comedown also means that reality’s a little too close at hand.
Simon catches his breath, hand loosely stroking your hair, and he presses a kiss to your temple before letting his head fall back onto the pillow. “Holy fuck,” he says.
You grin and nod against his shoulder, then slowly pull yourself off his softening cock, causing both of you to groan, albeit far weaker than before. You collapse onto the narrow bed beside him, nuzzling up close to him, hand on his chest, as he pulls the blankets up over you and wraps an arm around your shoulder. Your foreheads touch, and you listen to his breaths even out, his heart rate firm and steady under your hand.
“Probably too late to ask if you have a partner, huh?” you say, smiling as you run your thumb over his skin.
“If it’s any consolation, I don’t, and I also feel stupid for not asking.”
You look up at him, the orange line of firelight tracing his features. “I don’t either. You’re good.”
He smiles, and you set that expression in your memory, drawing it in great detail. “My job kind of gets in the way.”
“Mine, too,” you reply, tracing spirals over his chest with your index finger. “It’s hard to get a date when you live out in the middle of nowhere.”
“Didn’t want to go check out the paramilitary extremists next door?”
You grimace and hide your face against his chest, shaking your head. “Gross. No.”
His chest shakes with laughter, and it’s wonderful.
---
Morning comes too quick, dawning cold and gray, reminding you that there’s a whole weird world outside the confines of the lookout tower. You and Simon get up, both aching very pleasantly, exchanging one too-brief kiss before his radio goes off.
“Ghost, how copy?” Price’s voice comes through in a crackle.
“Fuck,” Simon hisses, getting up and crossing the room to his radio. You at least can enjoy that he does so fully nude. He picks up the radio and keys it, scratching at his stubble as he responds, “At location 29-B and holding, Captain,” he says, his voice a dry scratch of sound. “The ranger had a medical issue.”
“Is she alright? Do you need a med evac?”
“Negative,” he replies. “We’re moving in about an hour.”
“Rog’. Keep me posted.”
“Will do, sir.”
An hour. You groan and fall back on the bed, staring up at the bare wood ceiling, decades worth of cobwebs in the corners. Simon falls back into bed beside you, cupping your face and drawing you into another firm kiss. Then, something dawns on you, and you lean back, looking over his handsome face in the morning light.
“When you say we’re moving in an hour, do you mean moving out, or just moving?”
His brows go up, slightly crooked smile on his face. “I think I didn’t specify, Ranger,” he says. “Do you have a preference?”
You laugh, leaning in close and pressing your forehead against his again. “Affirmative,” you say.
Simon laughs and shakes his head. “You could just say yes.”
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kmt123whatsthetea · 1 year ago
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Something stupid
Fred Weasley x Reader x George Weasley
Requested by @jelloangela
Request gist: Make up/ break up sex with weasley twins. Reader dumps the twins for doing something dumb. The reader passes them by a few weeks or months later.
A/N: Thanks for the request. I might have made the title a callback to a Frank Sinatra song (except the twins will be doing something stupid instead of saying their ‘I love yous’). I went for OOTP Fred and George because out of all of the stupid stuff they do, that movie almost feels like a highlight reel. I also went for break up sex but the idea that I had, I don’t know if it counts so i'm sorry if it doesn't. I also had an idea but there wasn't a spell for it, so there is now (It’ll make sense when near the end). I'm also not sure about the ending, so if it sucks, here’s your warning
T/W: break up sex (Twins are not aware of this however. Maybe more like one last fuck?), Jealous twins (really reminded me of the twins from the RDR2 stranger side mission, nipple play, groping, unprotected sex, threesome (the boys dont touch each other), just a smidge of overstimulation, mentions of burns (pretend Umbridge was more hurt than she was from the dragon)
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Fred and George had always had a mischievous streak, even back to childhood (or so Molly told you one lunchtime at The Burrow). They always told jokes and pulled pranks, determined to be the clowns wherever they went. That didn't change once you entered their lives.
At first, the twins would pull jokes on each other, hoping to outshine the other twin for the honoured title of ‘your boyfriend’. To them, the holy grail of pranks would seem dull compared to the feeling they got around you. Before they realised that you loved them both, and they both loved you much more than any joke or prank. You had always stood by them through every prank, making them promise you that they’d be careful and whatnot.
But this time, when you saw their prank, you practically dragged them by their ears to their room. How were you not supposed to feel angry? Your boyfriends had set a firework dragon on someone high up in the Ministry, the right hand woman to Cornelius Fudge, no less. Sure she had it coming for everything wicked she did, but this could land them in bigger trouble than usual. If she twisted her influence just right, then she could even bring Azkaban into the conversation. That's how you came to be stood in front of them in their room back at The Burrow, both looking like kicked puppies while you paced back and forth. You had been going off of one since your arrival, letting them know exactly what you thought.
It was George who spoke up first, trying to ease that fire in your eyes.
“It’ll be okay love, it always is. If she does say anything, then we’ll tell Fudge about the Cruciatus curse and those quills. We’ll handle it, I promise”.
As sincere as George's words were, they didn't make you any less angry. In fact, it only made it worse. It was like they didn't care about the consequences. They didn't care that it was their word against hers. They didn't care that the woman they pranked had the Minister of Magic under her thumb. Fred decided to stop your rant with his own method.
Fred stepped forward and wound his arm around your waist, tugging you closer to him. His breath when he spoke brushed against your neck.
“Georgie’s right, We’ll handle it. Maybe we should take your pretty little mind off of it”
His lips ghosted over yours as George moved closer behind you, leaving kisses along the back of your neck. As much as you wanted to keep giving them a piece of your mind, you knew it was no use. Not only would they not learn from their mistake, they’d also know that they were your biggest weakness.
There was only one option left…
“One last time” you whispered, knowing that both boys heard you, whether or not they were listening would be their downfall.
Freds lips met yours in a gentle kiss, his hands gripping your hips. George focused on getting your top off, eager to have his own piece of you to play with. As he finally undid your bra, he pulled you away from Fred and turned you aware, so that you were now face to face with him instead. Both boys often still got a little jealous of the other, wanting more time or more attention (you’d even find one of the boys whining about how you gave them less attention, but that slowly became an excuse for more intimate attention).
George kissed his way down your throat, travelling straight down to press kisses on the soft skin of your tits. He loved paying extra special attention to your nipples, the way you moaned and pressed your legs together had his dick twitching in his boxers. His teeth grazed your nipple, making you let out a sigh of pleasure.
Fred’s hands slipped down to your trousers, tugging them down with your underwear before you could even blink. After helping you step out of your bottoms, he slowly stood back up. His hands trailed up along the backs of your thighs until he cupped your ass, kneading the flesh of your backside. George looked up at you through tufts of ginger hair, his brown eyes locking onto yours. He smirked, his teeth still caressing your now sensitive nipple. He moved back up and pressed soft, light kisses all over your face. His voice was just as soft.
“We just want to take care of you, love. You worry about us too much. Let us take care of you, show you just how much we love our pretty little worry bird”
When you nodded in response, he looked at Fred. It had always amazed you how they could seemingly communicate without saying a word. Whether it was telling the other the right answer in class or telling the other what to do in moments like these. As if like being told to do so, Fred guided you back onto the bed. He sat against the headboard before positioning you between his legs, your back against his chest. His arms wrapped around your waist once more. George made his way between your legs, his cock already out and already hard. He ran his tip through your folds, enjoying the way you squirmed in his brother's arms. George pushed his cock in slowly, only stopping when his hips were pressed against your own. Both boys were tuned to every sound that left your lips and every move you made. They loved you like this.
George's thrusts were deep, pushing himself as far inside you as he could. His hand came down to rub quick, precise circles on your clit. Fred held your trembling body, stroking your cheek as he whispered sweet praises in your ear.
As you got close and closer to finishing, the boys upped their game. George's fingers became firmer on your clit and Fred’s hands moved to grope your tits, giving you that last push over the edge. Your walls squeezed George's cock, making him groan at the tight fit. His orgasm caught him by surprise, he gripped your thighs tight as he came deep inside of you. George stilled inside of you for a moment, collecting himself. When he pulled out, however, you found yourself being pulled up Fred’s chest, his cock nestled against your pussy. His breath fanned across your ear.
“Can you go again, love?”
When you nodded, he positioned himself at your entrance and pushed in. You whined and buried your face into his neck, you were still sensitive from George. Fred’s hips bucked up into yours, stuffing his cock into you again and again. His hold on you tightened, keeping you pressed close against him.
George was sat on the side of the bed, his eyes trained on your face. He reached his hand out to stroke your cheek. You were lost in the pleasure from both of them. Everything blurred together. One thing that guided you through was your quickly approaching orgasm. Before you knew it, you were cumming again. Your juices soaked Fred’s cock, causing it to slip out of your pussy. Desperate to get off, Fred’s hand came down to finish himself off. His cum landed on your abdomen until he collapsed back against the headboard.
Before either boy could start the aftercare as usual, you were off the bed and wiping away the cum with a nearby tissue. The twins looked at one another with a confused expression.
When you quickly got dressed, Fred got up and put his hand on your arm.
“Love, where are you going?”
You stood your ground, fighting back any emotion that could let them back in.
“One last time. You both crossed a line. I love you both more than anything but that ‘prank’ was dangerous. Sure, she was horrible, but 2rd degree burns? Is everything a joke to you? You need to grow up and realise that life isn't one big playground for you to prank”
Knowing that they would try to stop you from leaving, you bolted. And with that, Alice left wonderland. Leaving Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee confused, hurt, and alone.
____________________________________________
Days turned into weeks. Those weeks dragged on into months. With school over for you, you had no reason to bump into them. They had tried to write to you. They had tried to visit too, but you avoided them. Crying over one boy is upsetting, crying over two is heartbreaking.
An investigation was raised into the attack on Umbridge, if you could call it that. But surprisingly, she dismissed it. You had asked a few old friends from your Hogwarts days but heard different stories. All revolving around centaurs. Strange. Life was almost back to normal, apart from the absence of two redheading twins who still had their names engraved on your heart. You didn't know what had become of them since leaving Hogwarts. You tried to avoid all news about them.
But it was like fate.
The day you visited Diagon Alley, there was a new shop. So bright and colourful. A bright orange. You were drawn inside before you got a look at the sign. Maybe if you had seen the name ‘Weasley’ on the sign, you might have walked the other way. The walls still smelled of paint, the products looked freshly packaged before being displayed. The whole thing was like a memory. Tiny bits of deja vu just calling to you.
The two dumbfounded men on the staircase staring at you.
It had been months. They hadn't seen or heard from you in all that time. They didn't know how to apologise for something like that. They never apologised for their pranks, at least not sincerely. But they had too this time. That prank had cost them you, and they would swear to quit if it meant getting you back.
The twins looked at each other once more and nodded. George whispered a spell and watched as a small butterfly appeared from thin air before their eyes. The winged beauty fluttered over to you, catching your attention. Your eyes followed it, turning around as it circled you. As soon as your eyes fell on the twins, the butterfly disappeared.
All those months of heartache. All those tears. Your feet carried you closer until you reached the bottom of the stairs. Both twins extended a hand to you, and you took it without a second thought.
Just like old times.
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ashs-cardboard-box · 2 months ago
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"Come back to me"
~ Hosea Matthews/Dutch Van Der Linde/Male!Reader (Arthur, John, Tilly, Lenny, Abigail, Jack mention) ~ Fluff, lost/found family (Day 1) ~ Romantic ~ 4.5k words NOT CANON TO THE RDR2 STORYLINE. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Looking back, it had to have been at least fifteen years since you last saw your family. You wondered if they thought you ran off. If you cracked under the pressure of being against the law; of the reality that your life wouldn’t be even remotely close to normal. The majority of you hoped they could forgive you, even if it wasn’t directly your fault. Fifteen years seems like such a long time ago now, but every day felt agonizing for you. Every morning you woke up longing for them again, hoping that somehow, in the big wide world, you’d somehow stumble upon them all again. In the first few years, you hadn’t seen their names in the newspapers, so you stopped looking as hope dwindled.
That one fateful day felt just like any other. The foggy morning of August twenty-third, eighteen-eighty-four. Your beautiful baby girl, Tilly, had crawled up into your tent that night after a particularly nasty nightmare about… you didn’t remember really. Your exhausted brain barely registered the six-year-old girl curled up against your side, snoring worse than Arthur had when he was a boy. Tilly was the most recent “adoptee” of the gang. Supposedly found sobbing her little heart out on the steps of a place of..dubious morals. One of your husbands– not legally, but it was the thought that counted– Dutch, had said she was crying for her mama, but that thought just made your heart clench and you asked him not to divulge further. All you knew was that, just like the boys before her, she needed a home. You had so much love to give and became as much of a father to her as you could, alongside Dutch and Hosea, of course.
Preceding her, was a scruffy boy named John. Oh, how that boy would get into trouble at every twist and turn. It all got a bit fuzzy, remembering exactly how old your kids were when they were taken in, but you knew he was twelve now. Lord knows he wouldn’t stop bragging about how he’ll be a teenager soon.
And, of course, you couldn’t forget Arthur, your eldest. Definitely less of a hassle than John, but put those two together and it’d take all Dutch, Hosea, and you had just to pull them away from each other…again. You were more of a father to Arthur than the other two kids, as he’d known you longer. He was, as much as you hate to admit it, the practice child. He was well into his teens when the ever blossoming gang had found him, right after his father was killed. You could hardly remember all of the times you fought. You and Dutch were just starting to enter your thirties, whilst Hosea was already in his forties. If it weren’t for them, you would’ve left him to starve. You were so…bitter. But now? Now, you get emotional at just the idea of one of your babies getting hurt. You nearly had a heart attack after Arthur’s breakup with…Molly? Missy? You couldn’t remember now.
Managing to worm yourself around the small girl in your bed, you rise to your feet with a lazy yawn. The sun was barely beginning to rise, making the fog seem more dense than it realistically was. Pulling your quilt up over Tilly’s shoulders, you tuck her back in, not wanting to wake her so soon, as you lean down and press a gentle kiss to her forehead. Due to the lack of proper resources, everyone had to share a tent. You with your husbands, Dutch and Hosea, and all three kids together in another tent. At first, that thought worried you, terrified they were going to torment one another, but you were soon reassured by the discovery that, when tired enough, they all leave each other alone. Glancing over towards the other two cots, pushed together to make it easier to fit two grown men, a smile crosses your lips as you watch Hosea and Dutch sleep so peacefully. You could hardly resist yourself, sneaking over just to kiss their foreheads as well. Your hand gently pushes Dutch’s hair out of his face, earning a slight scrunch of his nose in his sleep. You usually hated being up so early, but your internal clock refused to let you fall back asleep. Sneaking out of the tent, you internally wince at the feeling of the dewy grass between your toes, immediately locking onto your boots that you’d left by the tent entrance last night. Picking one up, you tip it upside down, repeatedly patting the sole to dump out any hidden scorpions. Satisfied with its emptiness, you slip it on, your union suit pant leg bunching up at the bottom, only to do the same with your second boot. It was like a ritual at this point. Wake up, cautiously get up; careful of anyone in your bed, check up on everyone before debating with your husbands to see who’s making breakfast. Though, Dutch is usually left out..especially after he somehow melted the only pot you had.
Making your way into the kid’s tent, you push the flap open quietly and poke your head in. John was halfway off his bed, somehow turned all the way around with his head dangling off the foot of it, making his face all pink. Arthur had fallen asleep with a book draped over his face, no doubt some Evelyn Miller book Dutch had been yapping about. Slowly, you creep inside, right up to John’s cot. Cramming three beds into one tent was difficult, but you all made it work. It was awkward at first, but putting Tilly between both boys seemed to quell the arguments for the most part. Gently, you pick the boy up from the edge of his bed, readjusting him entirely to lay normally for once, his head resting on his pillow. Reaching down to grab his, disgustingly dirty, wool blanket off the floor and, extremely reluctantly, covering him back up as John curls up happily beneath it. He never let you wash the damn thing, even if you desperately needed to. You could only imagine the horrors that lay inside the fibers. Turning around, you round Tilly’s cot over to Arthur on the opposite side of the tent. Grabbing the book by both the top and bottom, curling your fingers underneath the open pages to prevent them from closing right on Arthur’s face, you lift it up off of him and close it, setting it just beside him instead. Little did you know, as soon as you woke up that morning, you were already being watched by bounty hunters. You, Dutch, Hosea, and young Arthur managed to scrounge up a couple hundred dollar bounties just from petty thievery..except for that one bank robbery somewhere in the newly formed state of Kansas. Greedy bastard, you recall, but that was as far as your memory went, it all blurred so easily since it went by so fast.
You remember leaving the boys and shuffling a bit away from camp to take a leak, but you didn’t even get your buttons undone before you’re ambushed. Someone with a gun to your back, holding you up against him with a hand over your mouth. Someone else making the demands.
Something about wanting you to turn in your family to collect the money from the law? You could hardly focus, the first thing that left your mouth was “me, not them”. Inexperienced, they accepted that…and your myriad of violent threats and expletives as they all but kidnapped you without much of a trace due to the lack of struggle.
It was hard to comprehend how long fifteen years was in retrospect. Everything was changing now. Eighteen-ninety-nine. One year before a whole new century. The years beyond your capture were nothing whatsoever. Endless roaming, searching, running from the law. Ironic. You were originally doubtful to become an outlaw, but after fleeing from your cell, you’d been wanted ever since.
You were doubtful you’d ever make it back home. Afraid that Dutch and Hosea were just distant memories now. You wondered if your kids ever made it past that day. Hopelessness plagued you everywhere you went. At least, that’s how you felt, until you stupidly tripped over someone’s extended leg as they sat on the Valentine train station steps.
“Sorry.” You mumble gruffly, pulled out of your thoughts as you finally pull your gaze from the mud beneath your boots and over to the person you’d so rudely stepped on. It was some rugged looking man, but he seemed familiar somehow. Sandy blonde hair, barely hidden by a hat you can’t seem to properly place. Face covered by a scruffy stubble, sharp features. The man looked surprised to see you, if not oddly elated.
“Y/N?” The man questions, completely disregarding the incident of you tripping on him as he rises to his feet, standing in front of you. He had a few inches on you, that’s for sure. “Do I know you?” You inquire. He seemed a bit dejected at that, but he doesn’t let it deter him. The corner of his mouth turns upwards in a lopsided grin of hardly contained excitement.
Reaching up quickly, he pulls off his hat, holding it to his chest. There’s practically stars in his eyes, fully expecting you to remember who he is. “You kinda look like my son, Arthur...” You mumble, idly scratching at your jaw with a sideways glance towards the train tracks just a few feet away.
Turning back up towards the man, his expression is unreadable. A mixture of sorrow, utter joy, and shock paints his face, whatever that feeling would be called, you weren’t sure. “You still think I’m your son..?” Arthur questions, almost honored that you still thought of him that way.
He never thought he’d see you again after you just vanished. He wanted to be angry with you, to demand answers as to what the hell happened to make you just get up and leave, but he was just relieved you were alive. So much had happened, he didn’t know where to start!
“Arthur?” You echo as your eyes widen. Surely not. This guy is just making a fool out of you, but the longer you stare at him, the more that fuzzy image of that twenty-one year old Arthur returns to your memory. The chip in his tooth, the scar on his chin, the little divot in the tip of his nose…you felt like you couldn’t breathe.
Your first reaction is to hug your son as tightly as you possibly can, subsequently squishing his hat between both of your chests. He was alive! Your son was alive! He looked so much older now, it was hard to believe. The burden of the knowledge that you’d missed out on a good chunk of his life was almost unbearable. You didn’t even want to imagine if everyone else was still alive.
To feel Arthur’s arm around you, albeit slightly hesitant and much more tense, it was like a weight was just ripped right off your chest. You could feel Arthur’s heartbeat against your throat as you rested your chin atop his left shoulder, pounding almost as fast as your own.
But he’s the first to pull away, as a young-looking black man approaches him, waving a letter at him with a quirked eyebrow, clearly stunned to see Arthur hugging some strange old man. “Lenny.” Arthur clears his throat, patting you on the shoulder with one hand, setting his hat back atop his head with the other as he turns to face this Lenny fella.
“You ‘member Dutch and Hosea talkin’ ‘bout that old lover they had a ways back?” Lenny nods, shock and amusement crossing his features. Arthur gestures vaguely towards you that Lenny’s eyes follow.
“You’re Y/N?” He questions, to which you nod, extending your right hand to be shaken. Lenny quickly switches the letters from his right hand to his left to shake your hand properly. It’s firm and polite, clearly holding immense respect for you, despite being near strangers.
But, you can hardly grapple with the idea of meeting someone new as your mind circles back to what Arthur had said. “Dutch and Hosea?” You prompt curiously, almost worried, earning an amused chuckle from both men.
“Yeah? Who else?” Lenny asks, releasing your hand and handing the letters off to Arthur. You don’t bother to ask. “I meant- they’re still.. y’know.. alive, I guess…” You clarify awkwardly, glancing towards your son, watching Arthur rifle through the letters in hand.
“I don’t think even they could kill one another, much less something else entirely.” Arthur remarks, sidestepping to allow Lenny to walk past, headed for a large wagon just behind the train station.
This was the most excited you’d felt..ever, really. You can’t help the grin that overtakes your face. Your lips parting to ask another question, but Arthur beats you to it as he makes eye contact with you again.
“Yes, John ‘n lil’ Tilly are alive too. Yes, We’ll take you to ‘em.”
You nod eagerly, like a schoolboy being given the sweetest candy he could ever ask for. Only, this was his family finally being returned to him. You felt like you couldn’t get back to your horse quick enough. Nearly running into people as you quickly walked back to it, your eyes zeroing in on it hitched at the rundown saloon.
Ignoring the insults hurled your way for pushing people out of your path, you force yourself to calm down long enough to mount your horse, not wanting to startle it. Pulling the reins up off the hitch rail, pushing your boot into the stirrup and slinging your bodyweight up to the other side of your saddle.
Pressing your heels into its flanks as you pull the reins to the right, forcing your horse to turn around, riding right back up to Arthur and that new boy, Lenny. He seems young, must’ve been tagging along with Arthur, you guess.
Riding alongside the wagon on the right side, you have to force yourself to maintain focus on the obstacles ahead and not stare at your son as he drives the wagon. It’s hard to believe. He’d grown up so much, you thought you’d end up finding his grave some day without being given a chance to say goodbye. The idea sends a shiver down your spine and bile rising in your throat.
The ride back to where your family had gathered felt like an eternity. Fifteen additional years just to make it back. The sun was already beginning to set, the shadows elongated on the ground. You were antsy on your saddle, you barely noticed when you finally came to a stop, with Arthur telling Lenny to run on ahead and warn the gang and to leave him to situate the wagon.
Watching Arthur guide you into a small clearing between the trees, the wheels on the wagon creaking in the mud. You can hear several voices just ahead, some louder than others, you can pick up two very distinct voices, more frantic than the rest. You barely make it four feet into the camp before you dismount your horse, trusting Arthur to take care of it. Your eyes locking onto the distinct features of your husbands, right next to Lenny.
They seem much older now. Dutch took your advice and finally grew out his mustache, Hosea’s blonde hair had gone gray. Much older than you remembered, but you hardly cared. You were sure you looked older and more worn as well. Your feet carry you through the grass before you knew what was going on.
In an instant, you’re standing in front of Dutch and Hosea. Hosea’s shaking hands reach out to cup your cheeks. The touch is so familiar, yet so foreign. It makes your eyes water as you lean into his touch. “Darlin’?” Dutch chokes out, taking your hands into his own. His thumbs feeling over your bony knuckles, the skin getting tougher there over the years. You were never very violent before, but you were forced to after being on the run for so long. All Dutch wanted to do was protect you, but he’d never, ever admit that.
“Is that really you? What- Where have you been..?” He prompts, his brow furrowing. Letting go of your hand, he gently pulls one of Hosea’s hands off of your cheek, replacing it with his own.
“It’s..a long story…” You chuckle sheepishly as your tears begin to fall against your will. How long had it been since you’d felt like this? So full, so complete, so happy?
Straightening up, you press a kiss to Hosea’s lips, earning a slight gasp, before he leans into you. His bony thumb swiping against your cheekbone, against the wet track left in its place. “I missed you, sweetheart…” You whisper as you break the kiss. Hosea presses his forehead against your own, not wanting to pull away from you whatsoever.
But, not wanting to leave out your other husband, you press a kiss to Dutch’s lips next. He’s much more rough. Moving his hands down and grasping at your shirt tightly. He hates feeling so vulnerable, he always has, but he can’t hold back after seeing you again.
Hardly even registering Hosea as he shifts to stand behind you, hugging you close. Your mind flickered to a stray thought about people getting confused seeing their gang leaders embracing some strange man, but none of them have the courage to speak up at the moment, letting the trio have their moment.
Parting with an inhale, Dutch rests his head against your shoulder. Your hands moving down to rest on his hips, holding him close as you lean back against Hosea. “Where were you..?” Hosea repeats Dutch’s question, much, much quieter this time. His face nestled in your neck, feeling like he couldn’t get enough of you. They felt damn near tears themselves, selfishly clinging to you entirely. Sandwiching you between both of their bodies, absorbing their oh-so-familiar body heat.
“Bounty hunters.” You confess in a mumble. It sounded so silly out loud. Fifteen years of loneliness all because of money? But, Dutch and Hosea seemed to understand completely. Dutch’s hold tightens on your torso and Hosea pulls you further back against his chest, as if closer were any more possible without any gaps between them. “I- I thought y’all died or got arrested or somethin’..”
“No, darlin’. We ain’t dead.” Dutch chuckles, pressing a kiss to your pulsepoint, as if worshiping your very lifeforce. “We’re thriving.” He boasts as he lifts his head, a grin crossing his face. Though his remark ears him a scolding tug on the ear from Hosea behind you. “But–” He adds, glaring at Dutch as if warning him not to say anything further about the gang. “We still missed you, sweetpea. It’s been hard without you.”
“R-Right.. Of course.” Dutch agrees with a nod. Sniffling as he leans down and presses another peck to your lips. “Of course we missed you.”
You felt simultaneously overwhelmed, yet so happy. You felt like you could ramble on and on and on about how much you missed your husbands, how lucky you were to be back with them, how you hated what happened, but you’re pulled out of your thoughts by Arthur walking right up to you, another man in tow.
“Ah, John, my boy!” Dutch grins, removing his hands from you as he walks right up to John, setting a hand on his shoulder, he guides him right up to you as Hosea lazily drapes an arm over your shoulders, holding you close.
John looks so much more different than his twelve year old self. Scars adore the right side of his face, breaking up his coarse beard hair. His hair is longer now, but still as greasy as ever. Mentally, you roll your eyes, wishing you’d forced him to wash more as a boy.
“Pa..?” John asks quietly, chuckling as he shrugs off Dutch’s hand and steps past Arthur, pulling you into a tight hug. Usually, he’s never this affectionate, but he couldn’t lie to himself and say he didn’t miss you. You barely have enough time to compose yourself from your first breakdown before even more tears come spilling down your cheeks.
Wrapping your arms around John tightly, your fingers clasping around the back of his shirt. “Johnny…” You breathe, clinging to your son as if he were going to slip away again. He was a man now, and that thought filled you with guilt. You weren’t there. Your kids grew up without you. You missed their first robberies. You missed teaching them to shoot. You missed teaching them to read and write. You missed Tilly’s–
“Where’s Tilly..?” The words leave your mouth before you could stop them. John gently lets go of you, following the many eyes darting across camp in search of the young woman. “She’s prolly doin’ laundry.” Arthur mutters under his breath, craning his neck to look at the opposite side of camp.
“Tilly Jackson!” Dutch bellows. You nearly jump out of your skin, not at all expecting your husband to just shout for someone. But, Hosea’s arm curled around your waist grounds you again.
You watch as Tilly scurries from, what you can assume is her tent, upon hearing the gang leader call for her. Her hands politely smoothing out her dress, her eyes flicking around in confusion until they finally meet your own watery ones.
“B-Baby girl…” You choke out, opening your arms for a hug as you offer a wobbly smile. She looks like a proper woman now. She’s practically giddy to hug you back, holding you tightly. You missed her entire life. She was only a girl when you left. You felt sick to your stomach as that mindset continues to spiral with each hug from your family.
“You- You remember me… don’t you?” You mumble, pulling back reluctantly to peer into her eyes, almost begging her to have remembered you. To your surprise, she nods, a smile on her face.
“I remember you, Y/N! Dutch and Hosea talk ‘bout you all the time. Even if I didn’t, it’d be hard not to know you!” She laughs, her hands moving up to rest on your biceps, to which you copy her movement, reluctant to part. A tightlipped, solemn grin spreads across your lips, right before it falters.
“I’m so sorry, Tilly..” You sob. Removing your hands from your daughter’s arms, they move up to wipe away the tears relentlessly streaming down your face. You felt guilt. You should’ve fought harder to stay with your family, rather than abandoning them without a trace. Though, you could feel a warmth in your chest from the smile on everyone’s faces.
Hosea pulls you close again, wrapping you in a gentle hug as you rest your head on his chest. He presses a loving kiss to your forehead, just as Dutch gets the hint and shuffles back over, pulling both you and Hosea into another tight hug.
No words need to be shared, just pure love. Heart-to-heart. Ignoring most of everyone else in the gang for now. You only remembered your close family, and the new boy you met.. Lemmy, you think? Something like that.
“You two raised them so well.” You whisper your praise into Hosea’s chest. His breathing was much more wheezy than you would’ve liked, but there wasn’t much you could do other than love on your husbands as much as you possibly could.
“They remembered you.” Hosea whispers into your hair, and you feel Dutch’s chest vibrate against your back as he hums with agreement. “You taught them first.” Dutch adds, soothingly rubbing his hands up and down your sides. Down to your hips, up to your ribs, and back down again.
“John Marston!” A woman barks, causing you to falter for a moment. Sniffling as you pull away from Hosea just enough to wipe your eyes again. Watching as John huffs and turns to stare at the woman, un-amusement plastered on his features.
The woman pauses in her step for a moment, a small boy in tow, as she spots you in the middle of a cuddle pile between the gang leaders. “Y/N.” Dutch clarifies briefly, causing a spark of recognition to flash in her gaze. Forgetting about her lecture to John, she approaches you instead.
“I’ve heard a lot about you from these two.” She confesses, her cheeks flushing slightly with embarrassment. “My name’s Abigail. I’m John’s wife.” Abigail introduces. Dutch and Hosea relieve you from their hug long enough for you to offer her your hand to shake, to which she accepts. Though, you’re more curious about the boy behind her, clinging to his mother’s dress.
“Oh! That’s our son, Jack.” She explains calmly, letting go of your hand and gently coaxing her son out from behind her to meet you. A friendly smile flashes across your features as you squat down to meet Jack’s eyes. Though, as Abigail’s words register in your head, your eyes widen as you look up towards John, then to Dutch and Hosea once again.
“We have a grandson..?” You gasp, earning a chuckle and a nod. Technically, Jack wasn’t your grandson by blood, but to you, John was your boy, and that meant Jack was your family too. Looking back towards the boy, you can practically pick out John’s features in him. Their noses are the same, rounder cheeks like John had as a kid, sharper chin.
“Hey, kiddo. My name is Y/N” You greet politely. “Hi.” Jack mumbles. You didn’t expect the boy to know who you were, but you felt so happy, yet so god damn old, seeing Jack standing shyly in front of you.
Shifting slightly on your knees, you dig into the pocket of your pants, pulling out two quarters. “Here.” You offer, holding them out for Jack, to which he excitedly holds both of his little hands out for your gift.
“Go wild, kid.” You chuckle with a quiet sniffle, not exactly wanting to show that you’d been weeping like a baby. “Thanks!” Jack beams, almost immediately running off from Abigail, yammering about how much candy he’s gonna buy.
Standing back up, your knees pop with the effort, definitely getting too damn old for the outlaw shit. You weren’t sure when Tilly, John, and Arthur left, you guessed they had things to do other than watch their father figures be all sweet on one another. Almost instantly, you feel Dutch and Hosea’s arms wrap back around you. Hosea in front of you, with Dutch’s chest against your back. You melt into the hug completely, just wanting to relax a bit after an eventful day.
“Why don’t you let us catch you up?” Hosea suggests, tilting his head slightly to look into your eyes. “Just like old times, over some fine whiskey.. Maybe get some food in you.” Dutch’s contribution seemed less like a suggestion, more like a demand to make sure you weren’t going hungry on his watch.
“I’d like that.” You accept, relaxing into your husbands’ warmth between their bodies as the sun finally sets. Holding one another beneath the stars, keeping each other safe, knowing nothing could happen to any of you ever again. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Return to masterlist
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brujahinaskirt · 2 years ago
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Just some lil' thangs you might not notice about the level of detail RDR2 puts into Arthur's interactions with horses if you aren't personally experienced with horses:
[Sorry if this has been done! I couldn't find a post like it in recent tumblr history, and hope I can at least add some thoughts that haven't been analyzed to death already!]
(First, a note about me: I was raised on a quarter horse ranch and trained by a cadre of old-school cowboys in the Western tradition. Some of them were excellent teachers and some of them were crabby-faced bastards who thought "horsemanship" = engaging in a constant war with your horse... which gives me a little insight into positive and negative horsemanship styles on display in RDR2.)
(Second, thanks to fellow horsegirl @mangocats for helping me compile this list!)
(Third, a simple note to say that although I playfully use the term "horsegirl" in this post, the notes here apply to any gender. Same goes for the use of terms like "horsemen," which is not commonly used in the Western equestrian world to indicate a rider's real gender.)
Now, without further ado:
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Press X to Calm. Arthur uses a tried-and-true low-stress, gradual escalation method of approaching and calming a spooked horse that begins with establishing physical contact with one hand and slowly increasing contact until the horse is fully calm and is once more amenable to human direction & commands. This is usually a preferable method to getting a frightened horse under control imo, but it's a "soft hand" method, and not something you always see in machismo-loaded equestrian circles. I've written about this a little in another meta post, so I won't get too deeply into it here.
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Overall Horsemanship Style. You'll notice that while he does occasionally drive them hard in emergencies such as escaping the law or chasing a train, Arthur never "forces" his horses to comply with commands; in other words, he doesn't use his strength to try and bully a horse into doing something, like crossing a river, or physically punish a horse to "desensitize" it. "Forcing" horses to do things using tack designed to create discomfort or using raw bodily intimidation + fear & pain-motivated negative reinforcement is a tragically common tradition in old-school Western riding (and still advocated by some popular TV equestrians whom I think are straight-up animal abusers... if you know you know). It's dismal, but for a lot of the cowboys I know/knew, when a horse isn't obeying, you need to "show it who's boss." Arthur never approaches animals this way. By contrast, especially for the time period, he is exceedingly patient with horses and animals in general. We can even see this in his dialogue to wild horses; when they gradually calm down after the initial "breaking in" process, Arthur usually says something companionable like, "See, we're friends now."
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And a sub-point on that: Horsemanship Temperament. Arthur never gets mad at or yells at his horse. Even when he gets chucked to the ground, he'll yell DAMN, THAT HURT, and then it's back to trying to calm the spooked horse. Which is exactly the right attitude to have. (Though if you've never been hurled face-first into a pile of sun-baked manure because your horse saw, idk, a twig on the road, you might not appreciate how even-tempered a character Arthur is for never succumbing to the temptation to yell, "COME ONNNN GIVE ME A BREAK IT'S A STICK YOU SILLY BITCH!")
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Horse responsiveness. The horse emotional cues in this game are incredible, from their reactions to other animals and weather events to their reactions to Arthur. You can see the horse's neck muscles tense and relax when being calmed, their eyes changing in size, their head drop and raise in response to the reins, and their annoyance seeping through with stomps and pinned ears well before they start to spook. When Arthur speaks to his horses, you can even see a subtle ear flick backwards as they listen to him. When he gives certain commands (such as a mild squeeze of the knees to speed up a bit), a calm and attentive horse will often issue an affirmative snort; this is incredibly lifelike and essentially a "roger roger" between horse and rider. I was also impressed that Arthur uses his thighs and his knees to cue his horse more than his heels. Usually you just see the dramatic heel cues in in video games, but in real life, a rider gently but firmly squeezes their knees/thighs far more often than laying into their horse with boot heels, which is a fabulous way to get sent to the moon. One thing I would have liked to see is more riderless idle horse animations. Lazy or bored horses do a very classic pose where they rest their weight on one side, cock a hip out, and jauntily kick a back hoof up. It would have been right at home at the hitching posts in RDR2, and the horses are otherwise so lifelike, I find myself missing this little pose.
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Historical bits. As players, we don't have much choice with this, since Rockstar matched bits to saddles rather than letting us customize them. With that disclaimer out of the way: Arthur uses a wide range of bits, some of them much harsher than others, designed to offer more control over a difficult horse's head through pressure points within the mouth. This is historically sound and far from obsolete in modern horsemanship, though I would certainly avoid using some of the harsher bits in RDR2 on my horses to avoid hurting them accidentally. That said, it's important to note that "harsh" control bits (like those wickedly straight-shanked bits you see with some of the cooler saddle styles) aren't instantly or automatically painful. While many of us modern horsegirls may frown upon the just-for-the-hell-of-it use of many styles of old-school, Wild West bit, in the hands of an experienced horseman with a good sense of appropriate rein pressure (which we can assume Arthur is), even a curb bit should not be a tool of pain. In the hands of a novice, however, some of those bits would absolutely hurt a poor horse's mouth and are typically reserved for troublesome (potentially dangerous) animals who may need to be curtailed quickly. I'm assuming Rockstar chose them for style more than characterization... but I do wince when I see those hard stops with the straight shanks, every time.
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Horsetalk. We all know Arthur baby talks horses, and that his babble to his horse increases in affection with bonding level and varies a little depending on the horse's sex. But he also does something peculiar and frankly delightful with his vocal modulation on certain horse chatter lines. In those moments where he seems to go a little vibrato, warbling his voice as he talks ("waiaiaiaiaiaiaiat! come bahahahahack!" he calls after a fleeing mustang), Arthur is actually mimicking calming/positive horse sounds (usually a friendly nicker or a greeting whinny) in an attempt to communicate in horse language. While I think a TON of horsegirls have secretly nickered at our horses when no one else is around the stable, making horse noises at your horse is not a "traditional" training technique, and imo is something other gang members would definitely make fun of him for. It is also very adorable. I wanted to add that while horses are excellent at noise commands (like whistles, clucks, kisses, etc.), they usually aren't very good at identifying spoken word commands, including their own names. Therefore, the majority of the talking Arthur does to his horse is just free companionable chatter, much like we babble to our house pets. The command is in the cluck, the leg pressure, the yah, the rein slap; it's not the spoken, "Come on, girl, here we go!" That's just Arthur being a horsegirl.
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Saddle checks. If you pay close attention, in cutscenes and in the map, Arthur will occasionally reach down and test various pieces of his saddle. This is particularly true with checking the cinches (those big straps that loop behind the front legs and under the belly), which good riders often do, as saddles can adjust during a ride. Straps that are too tight or too loose will cause a horse discomfort, since they change the way the saddle rests upon them and distributes the rider's weight. You can even watch the saddle shift when Arthur mounts and dismounts, reflecting the changed distribution in weight! This honestly floored me the first time I saw it. Rockstar really consulted people who know their stuff.
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Bad Habits. IMO, Arthur's a little slouch-backed in the saddle. This is noticeably worse if he's hungry or sleepy, but even well-fed and rested, his shoulders drop and curve out his spine more than is ideal. This won't hurt his horse, but it will come back to bite him directly in the lower back as he ages, and I argue it's probably biting him in the ass a little now. (More on that below.) Arthur's "behind the horse" etiquette isn't particularly lifelike. In RDR2 (as in life), sometimes idling or benignly messing around behind a horse will cause them to randomly kick, and any equestrian knows not to hang out aimlessly in the kick zone. IRL, if you're about to walk close behind a horse, it's good etiquette to reach out and gently lay a hand on a horse's hip to let them know you're going to pass behind them before you step into the kick zone. I would have liked to see an animation for this, but I'd guess this would have been a real pain to animate without "locking" Arthur in place (as with the petting and brushing animations), so I can't really count this against him in good conscience. He also holds his reins in a full fist rather than between the appropriate fingers. This is a novice mistake, but I'm guessing this is an animation choice more than a characterization one, because I can't imagine getting those wobbly rein physics to rest perfectly between a model's wee little fingers. Which brings us to...
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Reins. Arthur keeps a pretty tight (though not oppressive) grip on the reins when he has a horse in motion, facilitating quick communication from rider to horse and increased emotional response from the horse, and he tends to use both reins when he isn't holding something else. This increases control and often allows for clearer communication between horse and rider in comparison to the laxer "rein knot" one-handed Western style. More on that point: Arthur sometimes holds the reins in one hand. This is not lazy horsemanship, but rather a mainstay of the Western riding tradition; holding the reins in one hand allows for a rider to keep one hand free for whatever they might need... usually rope/weapons. Using two hands, one rein in each, does deliver much more refined control (especially with a nervous or inexperienced horse), which is why you often see Arthur switch between one- and two-handed riding. Rockstar also makes the clever choice to make reins “stretchy” so they move with the neck and simulate rider give and restraint, rather than having them just flop around at a static length. This makes reining feel a lot more dynamic and responsive, in my opinion.
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Bareback vs. Saddle: To Rockstar's credit, riders' carriage when bareback is entirely different from the saddle carriage animations, and displays a lower center of gravity.
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This note is a bummer, but it is, I feel, an important one to know. Arthur is WAY TOO BIG to ride a significant number of horses in the game. Horses are not bikes or cars. In real life, it's extremely important to consider a rider's weight and height and general carriage when matching them with a horse, especially for long-distance rides... and unfortunately, Arthur is prohibitively huge. If I saw a man Arthur's size astride that teeny little Morgan, boots tips damn near dragging, I'd give him a piece of my damn mind. That said, it's just a video game, so if you love that white Arabian or that sweet little Morgan, ride without shame; you are not hurting a pixel horse! But if you're into max realism or a horse an experienced rider like Arthur might conceivably choose for himself, go for something larger, leggier, and stronger. Though Rockstar fictionalized their breeds a little bit, I think one of their taller well-balanced styles like the Dutch warmblood, standardbred, Hungarian, Andalusian, or even one of those svelte Americanized Belgians suits Arthur much more comfortably. Online's Kladruber would also be an excellent choice for Arthur. (Ain't nobody saying SHIT to Arthur Morgan on a heavy breed like a Shire, though they aren't well suited for everyday long-distance all-terrain riding, and I feel sympathy pains about that leg spread just thinking about it. Speaking of...)
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Real talk about Arthur's "swagger": Though I'm 100% sure it's a dominance thing for some crusty ol' cowboys, most equestrians don't saunter around Like That TM because they are listening to Rod Stewart croon If You Want My Body And You Think I'm Sexy at all times. That "swagger" is just... well... to be blunt, it's sort of what happens to your gait after you spend all day with your legs straddling a big animal moving on rough terrain. Hang out with some adults who have ridden horses daily since they were wee beans and they'll tell you allllll about what it can do to your posture. Contrary to cowboy jokes, it's not so much about being bowlegged (which is massively exaggerated as it pertains to horseback riding) as it is about lowering one's center of gravity to compensate for things like muscle strain, spinal compression, and lower back pain. Due to the high impact nature of riding, many career horsepeople develop chronic back problems and "swaggers," and for some it's eventually more comfortable to ride than to walk. Not saying you can't hc an Arthur who struts his stuff, of course! Just saying that, for those of you who might struggle to reconcile Arthur's blisteringly low self-esteem in his physical appearance with his "swagger," here's a horse world answer.
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Knights Templar'ing it. This is another bummer for a ton of cute fanfic scenes, but riding two-to-a saddle is really not good for a horse. It's not just about raw weight, but about the distribution of that weight and where the pressure rests on a horse's back/organs. A bean like Little Jack sitting right in Arthur's lap isn't going to add too much stress to a horse big enough to carry a tanky dude like Arthur comfortably, but a whole second adult sitting behind a saddle is a very different story. Imagine the difference between carrying someone piggyback versus having someone stand on your spine! It's all about the position. Larger breeds can tolerate riding double for a while, but it should not be done for long distances, and it definitely should not be done if a rider expects to need heavy exertion from the horse. Adults riding double doesn't happen too often in RDR2 (usually just during an emergency), so this isn't a critique of Rockstar or Arthur; it's more so a helpful realism note for fanworks. An experienced horsegirl like Arthur is sure not to ride double casually. Pro-tip: If you want someone to teach your (non-bean-sized) OC how to ride a horse, consider having the teacher controlling the horse from the ground via a lead/lunge line while your OC sits in the saddle.
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Oof, that smarts... When Arthur picks up hay bales with short sleeves on/bare hands, he makes a soundless "OOF OOOH EEEE OUCH" face. The first time I saw this, I absolutely lost it with glee. Anyone who has moved hay (or straw; they're different!) with bare arms knows how prickly and scratchy and itchy it is, and it's loving little touches like this that make RDR2's horses feel so darn real.
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That's all I can think of for now! I hope this list was at least somewhat helpful, even if it's far from an all-encompassing resource on horsey stuff in RDR2. Happy riding, meatverse horsegirls & virtual horsegirls, and remember to always thank your horse :)
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untitled-writer-013 · 1 year ago
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Can I get a Javier escuella x fem reader?, where she is his fiance while there in the gang together, she is very close to Arthur and sees him as a father, so when people start picking sides and obviously she is gonna go with arthur and Javier goes with dutch and she's very upset and hurt , not knowing that Javier is pretending so Dutch wont suspect him so they can run away and start a life . He tries to talk to her about it while she threatens to leave him , and he Panickingly tells her about it and begs for her not to leave him.😊
An Unbearable Weight
Javier x Fem!Reader
warning(s): hurt/comfort, fluff, some rdr2 spoilers
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Javier and (Y/n) were deeply in love with each other. If one had to be away, the other was longing for their return. But Javier asked his darling to keep their love on the down low, not wanting Dutch to know and force them to stay. His darling didn’t know this though, so she begrudgingly kept their love a secret, wishing she could be open about how much she loved him.
Javier did his best to make up for it though, taking her out on the town when he could, and sneaking into her tent late in the night, reassuring her that she’d be safe as long as he was there. (Y/n) loved Javier, but Arthur also meant something to her. She saw him as a father, having always been there for her, and had comforted her when she needed it. 
So, when things started to go sour, (Y/n) sided with Arthur naturally. She had seen how Dutch was acting the last few weeks, and she didn’t like it one bit. She tried to get Javier to see reason, but he refused, and she could tell he wanted to say something, but he never did. It frustrated her to no end, and made her doubt her lover, something she never thought she’d do.
(Y/n) let out a sigh, watching as Javier left to do a mission with Arthur, hoping they’d be alright. She had made some flower crowns with Jack, smiling as she watched him hand his own crown to his mother. She then frowned, wishing to have a child of her own with Javier, but was wondering if she even had a future with him, especially with how closed off he had been lately.
When the two men returned, (Y/n) had greeted them, now wearing her flower crown proudly. Arthur smiled, telling (Y/n) about the mission while Javier watched, a gentle smile on his face. He frowned as Dutch approached them, asking the two men about the mission while ignoring (Y/n). This made (Y/n) frown, deciding to return to her tent while they talked, a bit upset she hadn’t gotten a chance to talk to Javier.
A few weeks later, (Y/n) found herself at a standstill, with her and Arthur standing on one side, while Javier, Dutch, and Micah stood at the other. She never liked Micah, but she wished Dutch and Javier would see reason. 
“Javier, please! Don’t you trust Arthur? Don’t you trust me?” (Y/n) begged, wishing that the man she had loved for so long would see that she was right. Javier looked between Dutch and (Y/n), wondering what he should do.
“If you choose him, we’re done.” (Y/n) declared, making Javier’s eyes widen. He pushed Dutch aside, taking (Y/n)’s hand gently into his own. 
“Mi amor, please. I love you so much, don’t leave me. We can run away together, have a life of our own, have children, just like you wished. Don’t do this, I promise I’ll stick by you, please.” Javier pleaded with her, making everyone’s eyes widen as she nodded, tears in her eyes as she smiled, an unbearable weight lifting off his chest. She pulled him onto their side, the three of them running once the Pinkertons showed up.
They lived a long, happy life. They lived their dream, having a house of their own, with two beautiful children, who got to meet Arthur before he passed from tuberculosis. (Y/n) was saddened for a while, but Javier was there to reassure her. He’d braid her hair when he was thinking, sing to her as he played the guitar, and he’d tell stories to their two girls when they couldn’t sleep. He was a great father, and he didn’t regret his decision. 
~fin~
author’s note: i think Javier would ultimately make the right decision in the end, and he’d make an excellent father. <33
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coltermorning · 2 years ago
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Wanted: Day Three (RDR2 Fanfic, Arthur Morgan x F!Reader, 18+)
Summary: Away from camp where Arthur can keep a better eye on you, the pair of you argue your differences to pass the time and take advantage of the nearby lake.
Author’s Notes: Part three of this one.
Tags: Arthur Morgan x reader, eventual smut, enemies to lovers
AO3 Link
~
Wanted: Day Three
Word count: 5764
“You keep talking like that and you’ll lose the privilege.”
“You’re awfully threatening for a man who never follows through with them.”
You and Arthur had started the day bright and early with a shouting match over the fact that you had barely gotten any sleep, the colder weather and his hack job of a tie down keeping you from it. You had tried and failed for most of the night to pull free, and now your arms ached nearly as badly as the rest of you.
“Said you’d kill me and you didn’t,” you spat. “Twice. Now you’re threatening to, what, gag me? Keep me quiet? But you won’t. I reckon you got the least nerve out of any bounty hunter I know.”
He was trying hard to keep you from getting under his skin, but this seemed to cross a line. He stood and approached you where you still sat, bound and livid.
“You want me to hurt you?”
His words were low and quiet, intimidating in a way you had never felt from him. You took a breath. “I want you to quit mouthing off and untie me.”
“Oh, I ain’t thought of that. Sure, why don’t I just let you run off back to New Austin while I’m at it?”
You gritted your teeth. “From the ground, you bastard.”
He scoffed, the sound somewhere between a laugh and a dismissal. “Why should I? You ain’t been nothing but a pain in the ass since I ran you out of that basin.”
You didn’t have a good argument for this other than that your back was killing you and you had to relieve yourself. You looked to the lake and had an idea.
“Because I…need a wash.”
He did laugh this time. “You want me to go find a tub while I’m at it, draw you a bath? I ain’t your caretaker. You can sit there and rot for three days for all I care.”
“Please.” You tried your hardest to be sincere in the word.
He regarded your for all of a heartbeat before that snide smile overtook his face. “How’s that taste?”
“Please. I need to relieve myself, and I feel like my muscles are about to snap any second.”
“What did I just say? You’ll have to deal with it. Besides, I ain’t falling for that crap.”
“It’s not crap,” you said, your anger surprising you. You hadn’t felt it take over like this in years.
He nodded, holding your eye as he kept that infuriating smile plastered on his face. “Sure.”
You didn’t have it in you to answer him. To take that bait only for him to deny you again. So you sat instead, taking a long breath and looking out at the lake. The water was probably freezing anyway. And while it would be good means for escape, it would also be good means to get shot. Or drown.
“You know what?” he asked, following your gaze and looking out over the water. “That ain’t such a bad idea. I reckon I’ll have a wash myself.”
You shot him a nasty look, the man radiating pure smugness as he reached for his boot. You watched, unbelieving you had been caught by such an ignorant, arrogant bastard of a man. He stripped his boots, his gear, his coat. All in clear view of you, all while knowing just how much it got under your skin to do so. He took his shirt and pants off too, left in only a union suit that he started to unbutton when he caught your eye.
You realized you’d been watching his hands unbutton the thin fabric and snapped your gaze to his face instead, pure hatred spilling from you.
“It’s okay to look,” he teased. “Probably the most entertainment you’ll get out this way.”
“You’re so full of yourself. It’s embarrassing.”
“Oh, I ain’t got nothing to be embarrassed about sweetheart,” he said as he pulled the union suit from his shoulders. You were about to call him on the nickname until you saw those damned arms of his, how broad-chested he was. He was sculpted in muscle, beautiful bodied, and it only made you madder. It would be so much easier to stand this, to laugh in his face, if he was ugly and marred under all that clothing. But now you could only grit your teeth and look away as he pulled his remaining clothing off.
“Have it your way,” he said on a laugh, the sound of him wading into the water soon reaching you. You knew the lake was as cold as you had guessed when he winced and slowed his progress, his steps further and further apart. After long enough, you finally heard splashing and turned to see him working the lake water over his shoulders, washing the grit from his skin. You let out an annoyed huff of breath and turned away, shifting your body so that your back was to him, trying to swallow your anger and come up with a better plan than this.
For the first time in your life, you were drawing a blank on what to do. Most bounty hunters weren’t as smart, weren’t as stubborn, and didn’t have the resources to keep you tied up so well for so long. You needed to get free if you were going to best this man, and he wasn’t budging on that subject. The only outlet you had was convincing him that his gang members were right and he was wrong for capturing you. But even with that, he seemed to bury his head in the sand and ignore what was right in front of him. Maybe if you made him feel guilty over it, you could get through to him better. Even if it meant giving up in a sense. You decided that was the only way and that you would have to risk the dangers of the lake. As far as strategy went, it was your best option. You just prayed luck would turn in your favor once more, lest you wind up with a hole in your head courtesy of the man at your back.
After a short while, you heard Arthur walk out of the lake and toward you to dress.
“Water’s nice. You should try it.”
You turned and shot him a nasty look only to see that he had barely gotten his union suit back over his hips. What little fabric covered him didn’t leave much to the imagination. And he was annoyingly well endowed. Damn him.
“Careful. You let that mouth of yours go any slacker, you’ll start catching flies.”
You clamped your mouth shut and composed yourself, trying hard to focus on your plan and keep from arguing with him. That was all he wanted. He wanted you to ease his guilt. He wanted you to be defiant enough to make him think he was doing the right thing. No longer.
You let out a long sigh, giving him a minute so that you were sure he was somewhat dressed when you turned to him.
“Why didn’t you kill me? Back in Blackwater?”
His face set with a flat look you couldn’t figure a meaning for. He took a moment to answer, halfway through buttoning his shirt when he spoke. “I considered it.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“I only kill people I see as threats.” You thought back to the only time he had shot at you—after you had nearly escaped him back in that canyon.
“So I wasn’t threatening enough for you?”
He smirked. “Threatening, no. Annoying as all hell maybe. But you were hopping away unarmed, still bound up in all that rope, knowing you wouldn’t get anywhere. Why would I kill you when I could catch you just as quick and save myself the bother?”
“Because you said you would.”
This seemed to have the effect you wanted, as he finished with his shirt before responding, frowning all the while. “You wanted me to kill you then? That’s why you did it?”
“No.” The truth was, you hadn’t been thinking at all at the time. He had been marching you straight to your death, and your panic had set in so deep you did the only thing you could do, no matter how futile. You debated keeping this to yourself then remembered what you had to do to get through to him. “You ever…been so scared you would die you’d do anything to get out of it?” You met his eye, and by the way his gaze faltered, you knew you’d hit your mark.
You didn’t expect him to answer, but his voice rose quietly. “Sure.”
You chose your next words carefully. “I had to try. I…want to live.”
To your disappointment, that goddamn smirk overtook his face. “Should have thought of that before you killed all those people. And blew up someone meaner than you, that was your worst mistake.”
You wanted to argue that he wasn’t meaner than you or he would have killed you already. If your roles were reversed, you certainly would have killed him by now. Him and that smart mouth. But you didn’t say this, taking a different course.
“You think I killed those people for fun? I been running for nigh on two years now, all because a well-respected family tried to pin something on me I didn’t do, destroyed my good name, and told everyone around to shoot me on sight. Only I wouldn’t go down so easy. I spent an entire year trying to clear my name, to no avail, and ever since they’ve sent one bounty hunter after another after me. That’s what raised my bounty so high. They just want me silenced now, want me to go away.”
To your surprise, Arthur’s eyebrows raised slightly. “Seems you and me got that in common.”
He held your eye a heartbeat too long. It took everything in you not to smile in triumph, to hold his gaze with a hard look of your own instead. You were finally getting somewhere.
“Anyway,” he said, waving the moment away like it was nothing. He picked up his gun belt and fastened it, brought his satchel around him. “I’m gonna go find something to eat. Don’t wait up.”
You scoffed, feeling your shoulders slump on their own accord.
Arthur made for his horse and pulled a gun out of his scabbard that you recognized. “Hey!”
He turned to you with a grin. “What, you like it?” He was holding your rifle in his hands, the tic marks you had carved into its side plain as day from where you sat. “I usually don’t take a man’s gun until after he’s dead, but I like this one too much to wait that long.”
You hated him then. More than anything. You despised him for the way he talked about handing you over to your own death like it was nothing. You vowed then and there if you got free, you would kill him. Brutally.
You didn’t give Arthur the satisfaction of some lightweight insult and instead stayed quiet as he retreated into the nearby woods with a grim laugh, your eyes following him all the while. When he was out of your line of sight, you tried again to free yourself. This time, you sawed the ropes at your wrists against the one tied to the stake, back and forth, hoping they would tear themselves apart with the friction. After what had to be five minutes of doing this, you gave up. He had tied you up so tightly there wasn’t room enough to move the ropes against each other properly. You stilled and decided to save your energy. You would need it if your last resort came to fruition.
Not long after, Arthur approached from the bank to your left with a beaver hanging over his shoulder. You knew your rifle was too powerful for such an animal but kept your mouth firmly shut about it.
“Soup’s on,” he said, throwing the beaver at your feet. He returned your gun to his saddle then proceeded to skin the animal, setting some of the meat to cook above the fire. Your mouth watered at the sound of it sizzling. But again, you didn’t say anything as he worked. And you remained quiet until finally, he shocked you by walking to your back and cutting clean through the rope at your hands.
“Since you seemed to remember your manners,” he taunted, circling you. “Plus, I ain’t feeding you again. You can get it yourself. Oh, and you try anything, and I put a bullet through you. That ain’t a threat, it’s a promise. You clear on that?”
You nodded, rubbing the skin at your wrists, bending forward so your back got a break from sitting straight so long. You ate your fill and savored every bite, not having had anything as good for days. You considered escape all the while. If you found a way to incapacitate Arthur long enough, you could cut through the rope at your feet with the knife at his hip. You would kill him with it too. You had to now—it was an urge not only formed from hatred but from knowing he would pursue you to the ends of the earth if you didn’t. You wondered whether his precious gang would come after you for killing one of their own. They certainly seemed close enough to hold that sort of a grudge. You shook the thought away when Arthur tossed you a canteen, like he would pull the words right from your mind if you didn’t stop thinking about them. You looked to him in question.
“I won’t offer again,” he said, nodding to the canteen. You hadn’t seen him drink from it and were somewhat suspicious of it but raised it to your lips anyway. If he wanted to poison you after all this time, he was an even bigger fool than you thought.
When the water hit your tongue, you nearly moaned. It was the only thing you had had to quench your thirst besides Charles’ kindness back in that camp, and your mouth was dry as a bone because of it. You chugged it down, nearly draining the whole thing before Arthur said, “Easy,” and came and snatched the canteen out of your hands. You shot him daggers for it but again didn’t speak. He chuckled. “Don’t take much to make a person compliant, you know.” He walked around the fire to face you, his hand resting on the gun at his hip as he drank. “For some, it’s water. Or food. But for you, it seems to be hope.” Your gaze narrowed. “I control your hope, I control you. Whatever’s left of it.”
He wasn’t wrong. And it scared you he had read you so well. It wasn’t hard to guess at, but if he knew you still had some kind of hope left, then he knew you were still planning to get out of this. And that lowered your chances of doing so significantly.
“Tell you what,” he said, taking his gun out of its holster and tossing the canteen to his feet, the thing giving an empty clunking sound when it hit the dirt. “I’ve decided to be kind today. I can at least give you one last good day.” He made sure his gun was loaded, spinning the cylinder and clicking it back into place. “We can play a little game of sorts while we’re at it.” He leveled you with a satisfied smirk, waiting for you to ask him about his grand idea.
You sighed in annoyance. “What game?”
“I’ll let you go for a swim if you want. But the second you go under, I start shooting. And I gotta warn you, I don’t miss.” His smirk had turned into a flash of teeth, his grin making you madder than the game he proposed. There went your last chance at escape. You were a strong swimmer and may have still stood a chance, but was that something you wanted to risk? “What do you say?”
Your eyes met his and you nodded. “Sure. But no games. I just want a wash, that’s it.”
He shrugged. “Have it your way. But I would have preferred the challenge.”
You rolled your eyes and put your hands on the ground, pushing yourself up. You looked to him, expecting him to cut the rope at your feet. He just nodded toward the lake, neglecting to do anything of the sort. You refrained from saying the cutting words on your tongue and shuffled your feet, making slow progress toward the lakeshore. To your annoyance, Arthur followed. Once you got to the water and debated whether to shed any of your clothes or not, he rounded you.
“I ain’t taking no chances with you,” he said, making a show of holstering his gun but leaving it visible. He then reached for the lapels of your coat.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” you said, leaning back.
He met your eyes, and instead of anger, you found a knowing satisfaction lingering in his gaze. “You want to freeze to death when night falls because you were too stubborn to shed your clothes?”
“It ain’t about the clothes,” you snapped. “It’s about you taking them off.”
He smiled then. “Well in that case, I’m definitely doing it.”
He reached for you once more and you smacked his hand away. For the life of you, you couldn’t understand why that made his smile grow wider. Quicker than you could stop him, he moved to your back and trapped your arms against your sides by wrapping his own around you. “I’ll tie you up again and let you drown out there, mark my words.” When you relaxed enough to show that, as much as you hated him for it, you would let him get this over with so that you could keep your hands free and get in the lake already, he slowly released you. “Good girl,” he purred in your ear. You debated rounding and punching him straight in the nose for it. But you held your temper down for the hundredth time and let him be.
He brought his hands to your coat, slowly pulling it away, and something about the feeling made you snap. You could barely shift your weight to do something about it before he had his hand around your throat and trapped you against his chest, speaking lowly in your ear. “Behave.”
You hated yourself for it, but you fought off a shiver at the word. Something about his voice, the demanding way he said it, the feel of his strong chest at your back…you didn’t want to admit what it did to you. Didn’t even want to think about it. You stood stock still and let the feeling pass instead, waiting for him to let go of you. He reluctantly did so and went back to undressing you without a word—something you thought was odd, considering it was the perfect moment to say something stupid like he normally did. But you didn’t linger on that thought for long, as the feeling of needing to get out from under his hands took hold once more. You fought it and let him be, solely for the fact that you needed to get in the lake and make up your mind about whether or not to run.
Arthur pulled your coat from your arms, rounded you and unbuttoned your shirt. He untucked it, meeting your eye with an annoying smugness when the action pulled your hips toward him.
“Can you move quicker than this?” you snapped.
“Am I bothering you?”
“Always,” you said under your breath, but he caught it.
“You better think about being kinder to me. I don’t have to allow any of this, you know.”
“Oh how terrible it must be,” you said flatly. “To have to submit yourself to undressing a woman. I’m just putting you out, aren’t I?”
“Really, you are. I’m being awful lenient toward someone I plan on seeing swing in a few days.”
At the mention of that, you clamped your mouth shut once more. Your anger got the better of you, and you decided then and there to wait for a better opportunity to escape so that you could take him down in the process. You considered slapping him silly too, but you needed to keep your hands free. You fought down the urge.
Arthur chuckled as he unsheathed his knife, waving it at you. “You try anything, and I gut you.”
You looked away from him, toward the lake instead as he crouched and cut the rope at your feet. The need to kick him in the face was so hard to tamp down on that you clenched your fists to have something to do with all that restless energy. Arthur moved to the buttons on your pants before pulling them down your legs slowly, purposely trying to get a rise out of you. It took everything in you not to give in, in violence or in words.
He finally stepped away and looked at you with a surprising amount of anger. You didn’t know what that look was for but didn’t care.
“You do the rest,” he said, pulling his gun out again.
You understood then—he wasn’t going to pull your boots off your feet like some groveling maid. That would be bordering on selfless, something that was beneath him. You rolled your eyes and took your boots off, leaving behind nothing but your chemise and a jittery anticipation for the cold bite of the water.
~
He should not have done this. He had made a grave mistake. Arthur was already warring with himself over whether or not you deserved to live, and this only made things ten times worse. He had been letting you swim over his own indecision, then undressing you to get under your skin, but it had had the opposite effect. He had pulled you into him earlier meaning to threaten you but found that he couldn’t get the words out, the only thing coming to him a demand to behave while trying desperately to hide what his voice was betraying. And now, he could barely get your clothes off of you before needing to step away, making you finish the job because he couldn’t take his mind off of his hands on your body. What the hell was wrong with him?
He circled back around to the fire, needing to clear his head and get his eyes off of you for a moment. It was a ridiculously foolish thing to do considering he had cut you loose, but he couldn’t help it. He would do something much more foolish if he didn’t.
He walked to the far side of the fire so that he faced the lake but didn’t look up as he heard you begin to wade into the water. Why was he acting this way? He knew he couldn’t let go of the disagreements of the gang concerning you, but it was more than that. It was the thought that after all you had told him about your past, you weren’t much different than him. In fact, you probably deserved a killing even less than he did. You would have fit right in with his gang except that you probably wouldn’t have even agreed to that, being too righteous to do such a thing. So not only were you innocent and scorned, but he was holding a good person hostage, playing right into the hand of the very people he had been brought up to hate. Where did that leave him?
He knew the obvious answer was to let you go, and he was seriously considering it. But all his pitiful attempts at riling you—not to mention the harsh way he had treated you the past few days—would be enough to anger anyone to violence. Especially someone as deadly as you. So if he did let you go, would you try to kill him for it? He wouldn’t hesitate to defend himself if you did and would be willing to bet you’d wind up dead at his hand. Then he would feel even more guilt over going after you at all. Maybe he could threaten you into leaving, acting angry enough for you to think you got off easy and take the rare opportunity. In fact, that was beginning to look like his best option when Arthur heard a splash of water loud enough to make him snap to attention.
Instead of trying to escape, you were doing just as he said to do—standing belly deep in the water and washing, nothing more. What’s worse, you had stripped your chemise off too, and he watched your bare back a moment too long before looking away in shame. He couldn’t tell if his sudden attraction to you was formed from guilt or from the realization that you weren’t much different from any of the women he ran with. You were better, actually. And he stamped down on that thought quickly, so as not to cloud his judgement further.
He let you stay in the water as long as you wanted, looking up occasionally to make sure you hadn’t tried to run, not knowing what he would do if you did. He finally decided he would make his decision about what to do with you tomorrow, trying his best to keep up the same threatening act he’d used on you so far to keep you from noticing he was at war with himself over it. That made him calm some, and he took a long breath and vowed to make the rest of the day a boring, eventless one so that he wouldn’t have to think about the mistakes he had made concerning you for another second.
Arthur soon realized he had a problem—you were naked, and you would have to walk back out of that lake straight at him. He knew in order for you not to notice anything was amiss, he had to act smug about it. He had to look you over with a grin and pretend like his heart wasn’t racing when he did. He hoped with all his might that he could do so convincingly. He didn’t have it in him to argue if you called his bluff. Not with all the guilt flooding him.
Soon enough, he did exactly as he should have, sporting a lazy grin when you began walking out of the water. He never took his eyes off of you, partially to convince you, mainly because he couldn’t. You were such a sight that his breath caught. He wished then he had never let you get in that lake—he wouldn’t be able to erase the memory of you all bare for the rest of his days.
He cleared his throat before speaking to make sure his voice didn’t shoot too low. “You gonna tie yourself back up for me or make me do it?”
You shot him a nasty look, beginning to redress. He watched your every movement as you did, gripping the gun still in his hand so tightly it hurt.
“I…thanks, I guess,” you said softly, but he didn’t miss the hatred in your voice.
Once you had your chemise back on and he could breathe properly, he spoke. “I didn’t know any better, and I’d think you’re trying to butter me up.” He stepped around the fire toward you. “To appeal to my…better nature.”
“I know better than that,” you spat. “You don’t have one of those.”
He chuckled. “Maybe not.” There was more truth to that statement than you could ever know.
Once you were fully dressed, you glared at him and stood stock still, leaving the cut up ropes at your feet. He got the message and kept his gun at his side as he approached, making you eye the weapon. Little did you know, he didn’t have it in him to hurt you with it. Not anymore.
He fished more rope out of his satchel and stepped behind you, tying your hands first. He was shocked you let him do it without a fight and was reminded of your silence when he had taken you from camp. Like you wanted him to do it, like you had bigger plans of your own. He had the feeling you were constantly weighing his every move, deciding what would benefit you best in an attempt to escape. He was thinking again that you were smarter than he cared for when he finished with the ropes and stepped away. You hobbled over and sat by the fire without a word, refusing to look at him. That was all right by him—he didn’t have to think about you quite so much if you weren’t nagging him like you usually did.
The rest of the day passed achingly slowly, and Arthur debated tying you to something and getting away for a while. He didn’t though, not wanting to risk you escaping and sneaking up on him. If it weren’t for the threat you posed, he would have gladly done it and prayed you were gone when he returned, nothing but a pile of empty ropes. It would certainly be easier on him.
He fed you again in the afternoon, warring with himself over doing so. You had eyed him with suspicion, and he knew it was only a matter of time before you called him out on treating you with such mercy. To keep you from doing just that, he tied you to a nearby tree when darkness fell, retreating to his tent without a word as you spat insult after insult at him for leaving you out in the cold. It was noticeably colder than the night before, and he figured it would send the message that nothing was amiss better than anything. You had a coat besides. You would be fine until he figured out what to do with you when morning came.
Arthur drifted off in the early evening and was awoken hours later by wind so strong it made the trees shake around him. He stuck his head out of the tent to see you sitting where he left you, still awake.
“It’ll rain soon,” you shouted over the roar of the wind. “Gonna make me sleep out here in it?”
It was all he could do not to answer you, or worse, to give in. He gritted his teeth and cursed himself as he closed his tent once more, inside and away from the weather, knowing he was damning himself every second he ignored you. So be it. He still had hours until he needed to make a decision.
~
The bastard had shut you out. You felt the first few raindrops fall cold and thick, their impact with your skin making you shiver. One slid down your back and made you pull at your ropes to change positions, not wanting to feel that iciness again. Then, like that had only been a taste, the heavens seemed to open up, the giant maw of the sky pouring freezing rain down so thick you started to shake uncontrollably. You reined in your tears, knowing how unhelpful that would be.
To your complete surprise, not even a minute had passed when you saw a flash of canvas—Arthur had stepped out of his tent and was marching toward you. Without a word, he rounded the tree and cut you away from it, not untying you but picking you up in his arms. He carried you to his tent, your mouth shut in total shock at his act. It was possible he only did it to keep you from freezing to death, but you couldn’t deny it seemed somewhat caring.
He ducked in and set you on the far left, leaving you tied as he laid down against the opposite wall, turning his back to you. That wasn’t very smart of him, but you were thankful besides. The tent wasn’t exactly warm, and water still dripped in in some places, but it was much better than sitting outside in the rain. The constant downpour was so loud it was even a bit relaxing now. You debated thanking him but didn’t, thinking that may be pushing your luck. You did, however, turn to look at the gun belt he wore. His blade and gun were missing, probably on his other side. You cursed your lot and turned back over, mad at him all over again. It didn’t make any sense. Why was he taking such care to keep you alive only to have you killed in three days time? Why was he suddenly setting you free to wash, feeding you, letting you sleep in his tent? The answer to that hit you like a train—all this wordless kindness started when you had taken your clothes off. There was only one logical explanation for that: this man wanted you. He was lying as far away as he could so as not to touch your rain-soaked body. He probably hated himself for it too, telling himself this would all be over soon, that the temptation would pass when he turned you in. But still, there was enough feeling there for him to drag you in here in the first place. That, you could work with.
You fumbled with your tied feet and got them under you enough to turn over, facing him. You scooted closer until you touched him, your body lined against his, making him flinch.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“I’m freezing. You’re warm.”
“Get off of me before I throw you back outside. You’re wet.”
You nuzzled into him tighter, curling into his back, wondering if you could make him give in.
“Quit,” he snarled, sitting up. He shoved you away and took the bedroll out from under you, throwing it over you before laying back down with his back turned once more. Again, caring. But not enough to free you, not enough to convince him that what he was doing was wrong.
You evaded sleep and came up with a better plan, knowing you had hours to enact such a thing and the perfect setup—close quarters. You smiled. You would have him cutting through your bounds in no time.
_________
Part four is here.
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softrozene · 2 years ago
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Arthur Comforts Reader with Past Assault
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Anon asked: Uh I saw your "comfort fem reader who has experienced an assault" request and Im wondering if I could get a scenario instead but with Arthur and a male reader ? like I'f you know /that/ one encounter Arthur has with a creepo arther could be comforting and helpful to m!r since no one helped him thank you ro
rdr2 masterlist
Unfortunately, I do know the encounter you are talking about. I ran into him on my first playthrough and was in shock that it was a thing. I thought I was getting robbed but no I honestly think it is a “good” (honestly traumatizing though) encounter to bring awareness that this kind of thing happens to males too but sad that Arthur does end up bottling it in or gets all grumpy when Bill brings it up.
Either way, I did enjoy writing this for comfort and I love that Arthur would want to help in this situation. The relationship here can be taken as platonic or romantic and there will be solid and dumb advice.
Once again let me remind you all, that you are all so worthy, so loved, and valuable.
Originally published on March 9, 2020
Arthur Morgan x Male Reader
Warnings: Angst, PTSD, mentions of past sexual assault, fluff/comfort
Words: ~900
-
The first thing you notice when you jolt awake is how uncomfortably sweaty you are. The slightly cold air brings some relief as you realize it is still nighttime. That you are under a tent and can hear the snores of the fellow gang members.
Sitting up, you wince upon remembering the nightmare you just had. The disgust and anger become strong as you stand up and go look for a bottle of alcohol. Anything to not remember that terrible hellish nightmare.
The campfire flames illuminate the drunk passed out faces near it.
You huff and go for one of their long-forgotten bottles. However, you freeze upon seeing a tired-looking Arthur watching. He offers an exhausted smile.
“What are you doing up (Name)?” His weary voice reaches your ears.
The phantom touches you feel from your nightmare make you sick to your stomach. You hunch over ready for any sort of sickness to come out but instead, you just remain that way. Arthur comes up and gently pats your back to try and help.
“You good?” He questions after a minute.
You shake your head and stand up straight. It is obvious you weren’t from the immediate latch your mouth has on the bottle. You take a few gulps before you look at the tired man. The scowl on his face grows as does the worry in his eyes.
“Y’know if you need to talk, I’m all ears.”
You grumble, “It’s stupid.”
“If it’s making you cry it ain’t stupid.”
You’re crying? The thought makes your cheeks warm-up in embarrassment and the anger for your past assailant grow. Arthur sighs as he starts to walk off. He pauses slightly to look back at you.
“C’mon. Let’s go for a walk.”
He heads for a small trail that leads just a bit away from camp. You follow desperate to ignore these stupid thoughts and feelings. Once only the moon illuminates the surrounding areas, Arthur stops walking.
He turns to you but is patient in letting you gather your thoughts.
“Stupid nightmare,” You murmur.
He says nothing as he waits for you to continue. Upon not seeing any kind of judgment come from him, you do continue, your voice shaking with anger and slight fear. The hesitance was the first thing he heard until you continued and your confidence in him grew.
“I woke up from a goddamn nightmare. Something happened to me quite a while ago. It’s stupid because I’m a grown-ass man who got hurt. I got hurt real bad. It’s stupid because I should’ve prevented it or something. I should be over it, but I’m not. I just want these feelings to go away, this goddamn fear I feel-“
You choke up and stop talking. The tears are coming out strong now and Arthur heaves out a sigh. He was confused for a moment before he recognized those feelings.
“Someone hurt you?” It comes out more like a question but it is the answer.
The nod you give makes him sigh again. No one was there for him when it happened. In fact, he got made fun of at the suggestion of thanks to Bill. The least he can do is provide the much-needed comfort no one showed him.
“Those feelings don’t go away… Or they haven’t for me,” He starts.
Once you realize that he’s admitting something similar happened to him, you are all ears. You are desperate for the feeling of not being alone.
He continues. “I got taken advantage of too. Was stupid of me. Could’ve prevented it too I bet but I didn’t. A guy from a swamp knocked me out and did some pretty vulgar stuff. He’s dead now. I went back and fed him to the alligators. It should make me feel better but it doesn’t.”
Arthur stops talking for a second and looks at you. You are in shock that even Arthur went through something like this. You ask, “How do you feel better ‘bout it? How do you get the nightmares to stop?”
“Time. It may seem stupid but time heals wounds. It could take a lifetime or a week but it will happen. Everyone is different. For me, I try to ignore it.  It doesn’t stop the nightmares. Knowing that I could be that vulnerable ‘course hurts but it happened… And I’m rambling. Listen, you gotta find what works for you. You ended up venting to me. I haven’t done that because it ain’t my style. Venting may work for you and I will always be ears. We can get drunk if you want. Or go and feed the alligators the person who hurt you. Maybe get Hosea’s input. We can try a few things, see what works best,” Arthur finally states.
You nod and fall silent. He groans a little bit before adding in, “What happened to us, it doesn’t make us any less of a man. We ain’t like those cowards who did that shit. You ain’t alone in this.”
You are still angry and hurt but that’s too be expected. Right now you feel a lot better after talking to Arthur. You feel confident in confiding in him.
Arthur puts his hand on your shoulder and states with a smile, “I am proud of you for at least talking to someone ‘bout this.
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eomereadig · 6 months ago
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Snippet: Flashbulb Memories
Fandom: RDR2
Pairing: Arthur Morgan/Reader
Rating: T
Tags: Psychological trauma, PTSD, flashbacks, hurt/comfort
Full fic avaliable here
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The first sign that something was amiss came from Dante. Arthur’s gelding had nickered warily as you led the way down a San Denis street back to where he was hitched. First, you’d brushed it off as his usual fussiness. Though you accompanied Arthur out often and both rode on Dante more times than not, the horse still disliked you - times when you’d come bearing treats aside.  
But after a heartbeat, you noticed the gelding’s ears were forwards in curiosity, not pinned back as they usually were every time he set eyes on you. It was then that you realised that you couldn’t hear Arthur’s footsteps behind you on the unevenly paved road. 
"Arthur?" There was no response. 
When you turned to glance behind you, the outlaw was stock still. His expression was blank, mouth hanging open as he stared off into space. When you tried to follow his gaze and found him looking at nothing in particular, your stomach dropped. 
Stepping a tad closer to your love, you took note of his breathing - quick and shallow.
Shit, he was having a flashback. Of course, you could never be angry at Arthur for these episodes, more annoyed at the situation and the fact that Arthur had gone through all of those terrible things in the first place. Still, keeping your voice level, not swooping into pity or raising into anger, was a difficult thing.
You blamed yourself. Of course you did. What could have set him off? What had you overlooked? Your chest ached for the man less than a foot away from you and if you could have taken on his pain as your own, you would have in a heartbeat. 
There was no one around who bore any resemblance to Colm - few people in view at all, in fact. There were no loud noises either which you knew could be a little hit and miss where Arthur's nerves were concerned. But there was-
Ah.
The scent of gunpowder was in the air. 
Even without the lived experience, you were reminded of the wound on Arthur's shoulder, grizzly and barely healed. You cringed in sympathy at what he'd had to go through and longed to wrap him into a tight hug. That, though, would have been one of the worst things you could have done.
Instead, you approached Arthur slowly, every movement smooth and visible. Still, he flinched away from you. You kept your hands placatingly up and away from your weapons, trying to seem as non-threatening as possible. In this state, you doubted Arthur knew friend from foe. 
“Shh, sweetheart.” You had to be the voice of reason here for Arthur, as he was with you so often. “You’re not there anymore… I’m here and you’re safe…” You inched closer at a snail’s pace as you spoke, but it seemed your assurances had fallen on deaf ears. 
He shifted like a skittish stag ready to bolt at the first sign of a predator as you advanced, until you were but an arm’s length away. You sincerely hoped that Arthur wouldn’t flee, though. San Denis was vast and in this state, you doubted he’d be able to defend himself against anything untoward. Or even worse, do damage to someone innocent in his panic.  
“I’m here…” You reiterated, voice shaking with the thought of such a thing. “You’re not in that basement anymore.” And he never would be again if you had anything to say about it.  “I’m gonna keep you safe. Squeeze my hand if you can hear me, alright?”
Full fic avaliable here
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livingfictional · 5 months ago
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can I have a rdr2 matchup 🥺
I prefer male matchup
My Appearance: Im around 5'4 ish female with a thin build and an hourglass figure, but rather flat. I have medium curls, dark brown hair with bangs though I usually wear my hair in a bun because I hate it long. I have downturned bluish-gray eyes. I have a condition called Keratosis that heavily affects my arms and legs and a little bit on my outer cheeks. I have veiny hands that are kind of wide, but I have a good grip strength so I don't mind. I always keep my nails short. I wear glasses but cannot stand contacts.
Personality: ISFP-T! (People who prefer the Constant Improvement Strategy are quiet, individualistic, perfectionistic, and success-driven, often spending a lot of time and effort ensuring the result of their work is the best it can be.) I'm soft spoken and don't usually like confrontations and I will actively avoid situations where I have to do a lot of talking. I'm nervous around strangers and people I haven't known for a while. Even with people I'm comfortable around I tend to let them do all the talking. I'm very adventurous though and I get bored very easily so if I'm with someone and I keep suggesting activities and all they want to do is sit around I'll get bored or insecure about being around them. Simply sitting quietly with someone isn't enough. I have a very open mind though and as long as an activity isn't hurting anyone i'm down to try it! I love to explore different kinds of activities.My main love languages are physical contact and gift giving and a little bit acts of service. I crave to be held or cuddled and I like it when people trace patterns on me. I'm not rich by any means but I love giving things to people because making people happy is really one of the main reasons to make me happy. I hate being alone because my thoughts are so loud and they concern me because I can't help but think of bad things when i'm alone so I like either having someone or something to distract me. I'm not gonna lie- I can get very over emotional and more often than not my emotions tend to control me. I'm a crybaby kinda.
Hobbies: Baking, Reading, Biking and Walks. I love making breads and cookies in particular but there's just something so calming about baking. Reading allows me to get lost in a fantasy- Im am a HUGE Daydreamer. Biking and going on walks is fun. I dont like to be in forests too much because i'm terrified of insects but biking and walking down roads is an activity I do often.
Habits: I bite my lips a lot and grind my teeth. I'm usually not aware of it but it does get painful which is usually when I know I'm doing it. I like biting things. Not like full on biting but soft nibbles and when there's nothing soft to bite on I will bite on my own arm.
Fun fact: I make really good coffee and Tea. I love hot drinks so I take time to make them and I largely enjoy others trying some drinks I make and I'd love nothing more than to share drinks with someone.
Sad fact: My relationship with my parents is complicated and I often feel scared to be around my family due to constant yelling, screaming, degrading, and emotional negligence so I tend to avoid people with authority.
I match you up with… Charles!
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He does notice your nervous demeanor, especially in social situations. He makes conscious effort to give you the space you need. He’d never push you into uncomfortable situations.
Charles is a very stoic man, but your companionship calms him down even when there’s a turmoil within him. No one sees, except for you.
Given your love languages Charles will make sure to give you the affection you need.
Not a fan of PDA, but he will hold your hand or wrap his arm around your waist in public.
In private he will often offer you hugs, hold you close and whisper sweet nothings into your ear.
He’d happily let you tag along when he goes out to hunt or even for a ride.
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verdemoun · 7 days ago
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one of my few complaints about red dead 2 was that the 4 endings were all the same. I felt like if R* wanted to have multiple endings, they could have at least made them different, maybe with different characters involved changing the course of events.
What I thought would be interesting is a chain-of-events system, where doing one drastic action would lead to something different, and the missions that would change events being unlocked by having high or low honour. For example, high honour would unlock a mission to save Kieran after Jack’s party, and low honour would unlock a mission to save Strauss from Pinkertons around the same time.
i know exactly what you mean it would be so fun if rdr came out with a more interactive drama format and secret endings like until dawn but i also think it would lose some of its charm? so much of the narrative of rdr as a whole is built on the inevitability of the characters' fates. arthur says multiple times in chapter one he is going to die an outlaw, there's no escape for him, dutch warning john the agency will only be looking for another monster after he's dead, ultimately true when he meets his end, jack making the choice to seek revenge and becoming an outlaw despite everyone trying to give him the chance for a life better than that ect.
and of course part of the challenge of rdr2 is that it has to at least sort of match rdr1. bill, javier and dutch have to live and become evil. john, abigail, uncle and jack have to live and end up at beecher's hope together. i personally love the idea of if you save one character, another dies eg if you tackle sean quicktime event style having seen the sniper aiming at him, bill gets killed, but of course that wouldn't work.
it would be really fun though to have a chain of events system that changed some outcomes. the biggest gripe for me is that yes arthur has to die it's such a major part of the game and part of john's motivation to change but i really just want an ending where he doesn't die alone because that hurt me.
let me choose to send micah to the downes ranch. moss spends too much time on hypotheticals under the cut
1. saving sean in rhodes, resulting in sean coming to guarma and javier escaping during the chase through saint denis. sean gets into a fistfight with either micah or arthur depending on honor, resulting in the person he is fighting being the one captured in place of javier. the gang who stayed behind are obviously wary of javier, with a mission explaining how much abusive and power hungry he was while they were gone. some members of the gang leaving even before beaver hollow. 2. if you had high honor AND arthur didn't drink during jack's party, you'd get the option to be on guard duty. this would allow you to kill some o'driscolls attempting to sneak into camp, but also funnier options like not letting swanson wander off while drunk (if you don't, he gets attacked by alligators and dies), catching micah stealing extra rations from the food cart, and bill very very badly trying to flirt with arthur. 3. kieran living would result in kieran ratting to the pinkertons in an effort to get dutch captured or killed. when caught he'd give a very desperate speech about how dutch was worse than colm because at least colm didn't pretend to care, revealing what a creep dutch was to most of the women in camp (that one dutch interation with mary-beth brother ew), and arguing none of them would be safe if they kept following dutch because dutch was obviously losing whatever it was they used to see in his 'teachings'. high honor, kieran is allowed to leave with mary-beth quickly deciding to go with him, or low honor he is killed in camp for being a traitor. 4. arthur can choose to start shooting and save hosea during saint denis. this directly leads to lenny being shot in the shootout, with the choice to carry him or leave him behind. carrying him results in him dying of infection on the boat, but chapter 5 starts on the ship with the option to sit beside lenny and have a honor-changing conversation where lenny asks why arthur started shooting when of course dutch would have found a way to save hosea OR hosea reprimanding arthur for rescuing him at the cost of lenny's life, warning him that no life was worth more than another. low honor arthur would counter they decided which lives were worth more than others everytime they went robbing 5. if you save hosea, arthur tells john to go ahead during the attack on beaver hollow because hosea is struggling to keep up during the climb OR hosea tells john to go because arthur is struggling if arthur has tb. 6. if micah went to the downes ranch instead, it's possible for arthur to successfully beat and kill micah in their last fight since he has an obvious advantage. only to get shot by pinkertons (high honor) or dutch (low honor). 7. the secret ending would be if micah has tb, hosea lives AND arthur has low honor, dutch and hosea get into a stand off after dutch shoots arthur. dutch may have been willing to shoot arthur, but not hosea. he walks away and hosea gets to hold arthur and comfort him as he bleeds out. the first newspaper available for purchase in the epilogue would confirm the pinkertons caught up to hosea and arthur, killing both. the real devastation would be that going to where arthur's grave usually ends results in a surprise cutscene with charles already being there, saying it's where he would have liked arthur to be buried instead, and that he was a confusing, complicated man but he did love him (charthur confirmed ending). 8. there would be an achievement for sneaking onto the grounds of sisika, and finding two unmarked graves for hosea and arthur respectively.
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acti-veg · 1 year ago
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hi this is a really stupid question and i'm sorry if its rude/offensive to ask but some of my friends wont let it go and i'm starting to feel like maybe i'm in the wrong, so i want your opinion if thats ok the argument started because i play a game called skyrim, and in one of the quests theres a god that takes the form of an elk and you have to kill the elk to continue the quest
i try to avoid killing animals as much as possible in games (i even have a mod in minecraft just so i don't have to kill animals) but in the quest this is unavoidable, and since it's not an actual animal (not even in the game is it an actual animal, but a god who wants people to hunt him to gain his favor) i figured it was fine but a handful of my friends both vegan and non vegan respectively have told me that it's not vegan to do that and that while i'm still vegan that it makes me "a questionable vegan", because how can i be against hurting animals if i'm willing to hurt them in video games even though i'm really not! if there was a way to avoid it in skyrim i would :( i even go out of my way to avoid fighting the wolves (which if you've played skyrim you know is super super hard in itself😓)
i thought they were kidding at first but they really wont let it go and its making me feel really bad about it all, i'm sorry if this is silly to bother you with i don't wanna make a mockery of veganism by asking such a silly question as this but as more of my friends tell me that i did something bad i'm starting to worry that i did
I think it’s very understandable to be uncomfortable with this on a personal level (I am a little bit with the more realistic stuff like hunting and skinning in games like RDR2) but to question someone else’s veganism in the basis of in-game actions is absurd. I imagine you also looted houses and launched quite a lot of people off cliffs for fun - does that make you a thief or murderer in real life? Of course it doesn’t.
I can understand a non-vegan who doesn't really know anything about veganism coming to this conclusion, but I can't figure out how any actual vegan could walk around with a view like this. I can only guess that they've just just lost perspective of why we object to animal exploitation and cruelty, or they're playing the classic 'I am more vegan than you are' game.
There is absolutely no harm being caused by killing an animal in a game, there is no victim and no exploitation is taking place. These people really need to gain some perspective - it sounds like an objection for the sake of ideological purity alone.
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