#thought on this for a while and couldn't find an idea i liked for it better

[you-know-honey]

omggg i see you are taking viktor x reader requests and i am in desperate need of something relatively cute and fluffy after act 3 🥲

i’ve had this idea for ages where once viktor and the reader starts dating, viktor just generally starts being healthier and a little better? even though his leg is still the same he is stronger and in less pain (he really deserves this come onnn).because he is totally smitten by the reader he is spending loads of time with them which ends up to him getting more rest, eating better, etc. the reader maybe does subtle things to encourage that but in some ways it happens naturally. (although i’ve seen some scenarios where the reader helps viktor with massages/physio and that is so wholesome too)

maybe he is talking to the reader after some months of dating, sharing how he feels better in his body and how he wants to actively try to be better? like, before his work was his whole life and he had kinda given up on his health - he just wanted to make the most progress in whatever time he had. but now he wants to spend the rest of his life with the reader and is willing to fight for it (and come on that will also help him work more anyway)

thought it was a cute idea and i love your work so i’d love to see your take on this!!! ❤️

Hanging in Your Hands

Viktor x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 5K

2/2→→→

Viktor finds in you a love that subtly transforms him: without realizing it, he begins to take better care of himself, rest better and relieve his pain, all thanks to the peace you bring him. Finding a way to show you what he could never do with words.

N/A: English is not my native language, feel free to correct me in the comments and I will update it. Remember to share and comment if you liked it. Endnotes.

The cold of the early morning began to creep in through the window, giving your body chills from head to toe. You didn't want to wake up, you felt like you had barely slept a second after so much work.

You couldn't get anything more than a superficial sleep that ended even with the walking of an ant on your neighbor's floor. The bed felt too big for some reason and there was no pillow to hug that didn't make you feel terribly alone. You sighed, knowing it would be another long night, you went down to the kitchen to get some tea to sleep, if getting high was the only way to fall asleep so be it. While you watched the steam come out of your cup you leaned against the wall of the hallway, looking at your empty room. You couldn't help but let your imagination fly to a corner where you didn't want it to be, the darkness emulated with the shadows a sleeping figure on one side of the bed and your mind quickly gave it shape and name...Viktor.

NO.

You shook your head to get that image out of your mind, being in love with your boss was already a silly thing, you shouldn't even think about something like that. But... you couldn't help it, you liked to imagine him around the apartment, like your own homely fantasy.

The violent knocking from the other side of the front door brought you out of your little daydream. You pulled the blankets tighter around you, it wasn't time for visitors.

“Y/N!” Sky’s voice called from the other side of the door, she seemed agitated and in total panic.

You quickly rushed to open the door, finding your friend and coworker in tears and as pale as a sheet of paper.

“Sky? Are you okay? What’s wrong?” You rushed to take her inside and sit her on the couch as she tried to catch her breath.

“It’s Viktor, he’s in the hospital, he fainted and… and he started bleeding! He won’t wake up!”

Sky said something else, but your mind refused to continue listening. You could feel your entire body turning into glass and shattering, your heart had stopped suddenly before beating desperately again.

That night was the worst night of your life. You don’t remember what happened exactly, you just remember dressing up in one of your long work jackets to hide your pajamas, not even bothering to put on shoes, arriving at the hospital and searching every room in desperation only to find him intubated and still unconscious on a stretcher, he looked so pale, so feverish, his hands were cold and stiff as a stone, his hair was wet with sweat and the nurses hadn’t cleaned the stain of dried blood that spread across his cheek and lips like a crimson river. You don’t know how long you cried that night. You only remember clinging to his body until the nurses basically ripped you from his side. It was the first time you truly thought you would lose him, the first time you saw what his illness could do to him.

Time passed, a lot of time indeed. Viktor had a long recovery process after such a hard relapse and was prescribed, in his opinion, the worst of medications. Rest. Instructions that he clearly hadn't intended to follow, but you didn't think the same. He didn't know when or how but you simply kicked the chained door of his heart and like a spoiled child you refused to leave. But he liked it that way. During his long stay in the hospital he hadn't stopped working and the doctors were really considering tying him to the bed, like a guardian angel there you were, reading his books for him and writing in his notebook by the side of his stretcher, making sure he took his medications and vitamins until he was ready to get back in the ring. So, gods! It would have been impossible not to fall in love with you.

You made him feel alive, seeing you filled his face with color, he couldn't help but smile and ignore everything that wasn't you, he loved being able to hold your hand, he delighted in the dropped jaws that left when they walked together through the academy. His mind was an unstoppable machine of chaos that only found peace when you were near.

How did he get to that point? He never imagined that someone like him, with his proud attitude and busy mind could attract the attention of someone like you. You... you simply shined. Everything about you seems so simple, so natural. Your laugh, your words, even the way you look at him as he always wanted to be seen, as something more than a man with a cane and too many ideas in his head.

He couldn't help but wonder what you saw in him. Is it his mind that interests you? Or did you just see something he couldn't see in the mirror? Maybe, just maybe, you've seen beyond the walls he built around himself. Beyond the weight of his ambitions.

And yet, for the first time, he feared something more than failure. He doesn't want to lose you.

When he's with you, when his hands touch yours, when you smile after one of his sarcastic comments, everything seems to fit together. For the first time in a long time, he feels like he's not a stranger in his own skin. He feels like, maybe, there's something more to him than just work.

You give him something he can't explain, something that isn't in any formula or prototype. Maybe, for once in his life, it's enough to just feel.

…Wow, he was a genius in love.

Months Later...

The sound of the lab door slamming open loudly caught Jayce's attention as he stretched out in his chair. They had been working all morning.

You walked in with a tray of breakfast and books under your arm.

“You need to grease that door,” you said, as you walked over to his desk. Jayce held the books you asked for and took one of the steaming cups on the tray.

“I'll write it down,” Jayce said, burying his face in the cup, inhaling the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. He looked really exhausted. They would have a conference soon and they had to be prepared, even you and Sky had a lot of work to do.

“Have he eaten anything today?” you asked, nodding at the one you can now proudly call your partner, sitting across the lab without even noticing your presence.

“What do you think?” You sighed, it's common for your boyfriend to forget to eat, if breathing wasn't essential you're sure he would forget too.

“Viktor…” you exclaim as you walk up to his desk, his posture in front of it is terrible, a shrimp would be proud of his posture.

He doesn’t seem to hear you, he mutters things as usual while he quickly writes down in his notebook and fiddles around a bit with a design that releases sparks and steam. You can see the inner mechanism, it’s so complex that it makes your head hurt just thinking about having to fix it like he does. There’s something about that stoic concentration he has that really attracts you, you could watch him work all day. You place the tray in one of your hands, balancing it so as not to spill anything and you use the fingers of your free hand to lightly tickle Viktor’s neck, he quickly adjusts his posture, you’re sure you could hear a joint or two creak, letting out a half-gasp. Which you take advantage of by uncovering the delicious breakfast on the tray.

You know he smiles and his gaze softens when the smell of food reaches him, he stops his work and looks at you.

“Good morning” you murmur only for his ears.

“You didn’t have to do this,” he said, turning his chair to face you, letting go of his design so easily that even Jayce couldn’t believe it.

“Can’t I take care of my favorite genius?” You shrug, leaving the tray with breakfast on the small mound of leaves on his desk. Changing his empty cup of coffee for a cup of hot tea.

Viktor smiles barely, but there’s something warm in his gaze as he takes the first sip of tea. You’re surprised when he stands up without even making a move to look for his cane, only using his good leg for help. He rests his forehead on your shoulder, you can feel his breath so close that it makes the hairs on your neck stand up. He’s been working since before the sun came up, it’s something you can’t change about him, but seeing you is a huge relief that he doesn’t know he needs until he has you in front of him and can’t help but put everything aside for you. His hands slide under your arms until they grip your back, wrinkling your perfectly ironed shirt and you can feel him finally sigh and let his shoulders slump as if he were carrying lead on them.

That gesture is all he needs to tell you, he is not a man of words and even less so when Jayce is present because he knows that Jayce will use everything he says against him as soon as you walk out the door. He can feel you, the heat emanating from your body makes him feel warm, breathing your perfume is the breeze of fresh air he needs to keep going. If they were alone he would probably kiss you, it is the only motivation he has to make it to the end of the day.

“What? He is your favorite genius? Y/N how do you break my heart like that” Jayce dramatizes from the other side of the room with a huge smile on his face. He loves watching how Viktor basically melts for you but he can’t help but feel like a bad third between the two of you.

You can't help but giggle at the comment. “There's enough room in my heart for both of us.”

Viktor gives a small shake of his head and snorts at your shoulder, it's obvious that he doesn't like the idea.

“Will you have breakfast with me?” he asks as he pulls away from you and drops his weight back into the chair.

You've both had this habit since the hospital, when he barely had the strength to blink and refused to be fed with a g-tube. It was a hard blow to his pride that you had to feed him, but you handled the situation with a lot of respect, and at the end of the day you both always ended up eating all your meals together, it was a moment that you both could enjoy and secretly for you it was a way to make sure he gets something more than caffeine.

You sighed and shook your head. “Not this time.” The look he gave you was as painful as that of a newly abandoned puppy.

“Why not?” he asked, making a colorful gesture with his hands, quite offended.

“Sky and I are still clearing their schedules and getting everything ready for this afternoon’s conference.” You felt guilty and even more so when he gave you that look but if you lied to him it would only make his mind wander to very dark places. “I promise we’ll have dinner together. Will you forgive me this time?” you said, caressing his cheek subtly.

Schedules were something Viktor had very established, something out of that routine irritated him in ways he didn’t understand. Normally and if you were anyone else he would have pushed your hand away and ignored you for the rest of the day but… you weren’t just anyone, he couldn’t get mad at you, he couldn’t even think of a reason that was strong enough to not even look at you with annoyance.

“Just don’t miss it” He replied, enjoying your touch. Forcing you to stay on his cheek a little more for taking your wrist, when it was time for you to leave it was very difficult to let you go.

“Don't forget to take a break, Sabre, if you didn't have lunch.” You walked through the door, giving him one last look before leaving him back in the lab.

“Love is so beautiful,” Jayce mentioned, sighing like a teenager while humming the sound of the newlywed bells.

Viktor rolled his eyes and went back to his table to find his breakfast. The idea of putting it aside and continuing to work crossed his mind, it was what he used to do in the past. Before letting that idea take hold, he stuck his fork in the bacon next to the small bowl of fruit and quickly brought it to his mouth. His taste buds wept with excitement at finally receiving some food after so many hours drowned in coffee, even the breath itself with a certain guilty pleasure. “Shut up, Jayce,” was the only thing he could say before devouring the plate.

“Are you ready? We’re going to be late,” Viktor mentioned, leaning against the outside wall of the lab’s bathroom, with a hanger holding his suit in his hand.

He had been waiting for more than 45 minutes for his lab partner to finish showering and getting dressed. He used to skip all the conferences, especially if they were with the council. It irritated him how certain people with more than limited intellect could have power over his work and what he could and couldn’t do with it. The only reason he started attending was because you were there, both of them could whisper to each other continuously and have a good time being gossips about the other councilors, although of course, there were also times when Jayce called him to the front, when a more raw opinion was needed, without all the flourishes that surrounded Jayce’s speeches.

“Just a second,” Jayce said as he opened the door, in his white and gold suit he finished fixing his hair in the middle of a cloud of masculine perfume.

Viktor just rolled his eyes and made his way into the bathroom, leaving his suit on the rack behind the door, sitting on the closed toilet to wait for Jayce to leave.

“Hurry up,” he said when he saw Jayce smiling at himself in the mirror.

“Someone looks pretty excited to go…” He hummed, “I thought you said conferences were a waste of your precious time…”

“Jayce…” Viktor said in a tone that Jayce understood as a warning accompanied by a stern frown, but the shy blush that crossed his cheeks and the bridge of his nose told him he was right.

“Come on, there’s nothing wrong with saying you like going because your girlfriend is there. If Councilwoman Medarda wasn’t there I wouldn’t want to go either.” Jayce leaned back against the sink. Although it wasn’t exactly the most opportune moment to have a talk.

Girlfriend… Viktor still felt chills when that word was mentioned, he himself wasn’t able to say it yet, it always got stuck in his throat and he blushed like never before, he felt shy just knowing that the one who carried that title was you. When they started dating he was nothing more than a rigid bundle of nerves, holding your hand, hugging you, kissing you or just walking by your side were things he got used to with difficulty, as if he were walking on thin ice, looking for a single rejection reaction from you that would confirm to his anxiety that he had made a false step and should return within his fortified comfort zone. It doesn’t mean that he didn’t enjoy doing those things with you, he did, he loved them, but a part of himself always whispered to him that he didn’t deserve it, that he hadn’t been born for love and that he looked ridiculous pretending he wasn’t like that. It was hard to fight against it, but you never gave up, you knew how to read him like the back of your hand and you knew when he needed time alone and when he needed to melt into you in affection. Now it was clearer than ever that if there was someone who could love him and who he could love back, it was you. Only you.

“Y/N and I know how to separate work from our relationship, our… dating” he savored the words with pride “it doesn’t influence my work.” He couldn’t help but smile silly “Although I admit that her company is always welcome”

Jayce excitedly crossed his arms at his friend and colleague's terrible way of hiding how totally in love he was with you. "Really?" he said raising an eyebrow in disbelief. "So I guess what you've been building for her is part of the 'job'..."

Although Jayce was a little naive he wasn't stupid, of course he had noticed how revitalized Viktor was since he started dating you, he could hardly remember the irritated Viktor who lived all the time in the lab. The night of his relapse he had gone to his mother's house for his birthday, if it weren't for Sky and you he would never have found out what happened and he would never be able to finish thanking you for taking care of him with such love. Jayce knew with total certainty that Viktor was more in love with you than he could ever admit to others or to himself.

“…It’s a gift for her.” There was something of amazement in his words, as if he had never imagined himself saying it. “I read that couples usually give each other gifts sporadically, without reason… I want to do something that does justice to everything she does for me.” He answered as if it were the most logical thing in the world, trying to regain his composure.

“Tell me what it is?” Jayce asked interested, his eyes big like a little boy’s excited to receive a lollipop after the dentist.

“No.” Viktor refused flatly. “I know you, it will come out of your mouth in a some moment.” Jayce felt offended, even more so because it was not a lie.

“But! Come on Victor!” He tried to convince him but the answer was still a constant negative. “Boring.” He sighed giving up. “I’ll wait for you outside, Mr. Romantic.” Jayce managed to escape from the bathroom before Viktor’s sharpness reached him and he walked away laughing.

Viktor sighed when he finally managed to be alone in the bathroom, he put his cane aside, using the sink to support himself and stand up, his leg gave him a small cramp that was reflected on his face and it took him a second to recover and start preparing.

The conference was nothing out of the ordinary, brutally exhausting as always, you felt your feet unbearably tired, avoiding Salo's venomous comments were not for everyone. You should be given a prize for enduring such a thing, you knew that it didn't really matter much to present each project in a thorough manner before the council but according to Councilwoman Medarda, that would make Hextech more trustworthy, being transparent with the creations left no room for doubts or misunderstandings. But that only meant more work for you and Sky, emptying Jayce and Viktor's agendas, planning their speeches and even elaborating the thread of the entire conference, it was definitely the only part you hated about being an attendee.

Jayce had stayed to 'discuss' some matters with Councilwoman Medarda and Sky had taken the first opportunity that presented itself to leave as quickly as he could. That left you and Viktor alone in the hallway heading to the lab for your coats, autumn was already upon the city and the cold was more usual and stronger.

“Is something wrong?” you asked as you saw Viktor’s jaw muttering things to himself, his gaze looking a little lost as you approached the lab.

“Oh, no… I have some things to tidy up in the lab that’s all” He answered trying to lighten the mood. Clearly forgetting that you knew there was nothing to tidy up because… come on… that was your job.

“Can I help you with that?” You said with some disbelief as you reached the door, it was clear from your tone that you didn’t quite believe him.

“No, it’s not necessary. Could you wait for me outside?” Viktor asked, looking a bit nervous, even serious.

“From the door?” you asked, crossing your arms as Viktor left his hand on the door handle. You had never seen him so nervous trying to hide something, especially from you.

“From the academy…” I knew the answer, obviously you would say no.

You sighed heavily, it was late at night and your brain was tired “Viktor if this is a ruse to keep working...”

“No, it’s not that” he interrupted you quickly, his hand moved away from the door handle as if it were a hot iron just to take yours “It will be quick I promise” and there it was, that lazy smile and that sweet look that could convince you to do anything without hesitation, he using his thumb to draw soft circles on the back of your hand. He slowly leaned down to your ear to whisper “I can’t wait to go home with you, this will just be a… slight setback. I won’t take long, I promise.”

The words got stuck in your throat and in your belly millions of butterflies were released and fluttered everywhere, the blush was quick to rise to your cheeks “Fine… But... Don’t take long, okay?”

That act had taken you by complete surprise, but he seemed quite pleased with the way he had completely altered the chemistry inside your brain and he knew it, of course he knew it, behind that look you were sure he was proud of his little misdeed.

Viktor left a small kiss on your forehead before disappearing into the lab. A shiver ran down your spine to help you come back to yourself. The last thing Viktor heard from you was the clicking of your heels at the end of the hallway.

“She didn’t believe it at all,” he said to himself as he leaned back against the door, taking a minute to compose himself, running one of his hands through his hair as if that would work. He couldn’t wipe the smile off his face and his brain was still fluttering with your blushing image. What he had done had been a risky act but it felt so good to do it… Viktor shook his head, getting those thoughts out of his mind.

The lab was empty, it felt cold and that didn’t help his leg at all. Holding on to his cane he walked towards his desk, in one of the drawers, the one most full of failed prototypes, the only one you never dared to clean, in the back, wrapped in a somewhat singed piece of curtain, he found what he was looking for. A velvety box, upon opening it he was greeted by the intense glow of a Hextech gem much smaller than the rest, he had worked on it for quite some time, it wasn't the gift itself, but it was the eternal battery that would keep it running, it had already been quite a challenge to get the crystals to stabilize at their original size, he had lost count of how many times he could have died while making it. He quickly closed the box and carefully put it away in his bag, losing it would be a huge disaster. He had kept the rest of your gift in a safe place at home.

Viktor took a moment to look at his desk, years ago doing what he was doing now would have seemed ridiculous and a waste of time. Now there was nothing else he wanted to spend his time on. His hand slid across his desk, feeling papers and the leather of his notebooks under his fingers. His hands wandered until they entered between the swollen pages of one of his old notebooks, opening it he felt a little embarrassed by the content.

The pages were filled with notes and sketches of designs, as the pages turned one had established itself among the others. All around it was filled with details about you, your favorite color, your favorite scent, your favorite sound. Such sweet descriptions of your laugh, your hair… of your essence, there were even small drawings of your face and your unmistakable look, motivating him to continue. There were dates and small appointments that his mind read with your voice while he smiled.

“I really hope you like it…” He sigh longingly.

You hugged your bare arms as you hopped from foot to foot to keep warm, the dress you were wearing worked inside the heated academy but now that you were outside you were freezing, every hair on your body standing on end.

“What are you doing Viktor?” You said into the air.

Since the conference had been a huge success you both had planned to go to his house to hang out. Although well, it wasn’t long before it was your house too, after all half of your closet was in his and you even had matching coffee mugs in his kitchen. Still you didn’t want to push Viktor at all. It had already been a bit difficult for you to get him to dare kiss your cheek in public without making it look like you had a gun on his back.

You panted into your hands, your breath bringing some heat to your fingers that were starting to get cold as an iceberg.

Something brushed against your back, a sudden touch that made you turn around instinctively, almost unnaturally, only to find yourself facing Viktor, who was blinking in surprise at your reaction. His hands were outstretched, holding your coat.

“What were you trying to do?” you ask, your tone more accusatory than you’d like, as you try to calm your racing heart.

“Put your coat on, maybe?” he replies, his tone matching yours, but a sly smile playing on his lips. It’s obvious that your startlement amuses him. “Here, let me put it on you. You’re going to freeze.”

You sigh to release the tension in your body and turn your back to him. You feel his cold hands touch your neck, drawing a gasp from you that you instantly suppress, determined not to give him any more reasons to mock you. There's something about his gesture, the way he gently places the coat over your shoulders and guides your wrists into the sleeves, that disarms you.

When he's done, he gently turns you around to close the buttons, fastening them one by one, while his fingers brush your hair away from the coat. It's a simple gesture, but he does it with such care that you melt a little. Crowning the moment, he puts your bag over your head and lets it rest on your shoulder with elegance.

Your eyes watch him with a tenderness that seems to stop time. Viktor notices it; his hand slides from the strap of your bag to your cheek, caressing it with cautious delicacy before removing it, leaving a cold sensation behind.

A laugh escapes your lips, soft and sweet, filling the frozen air with a warmth that seeps into his bones. He smiles with you.

You take a step closer to him, not expecting it, you see him seek support from his cane, the only thing that stands between him and you really.

His scent envelops you instantly: coffee and honey. It’s such a unique combination that you could identify it among millions.

“Your nose is red,” you comment, adjusting the scarf around his neck. “I don’t want you to catch a cold.”

You can see how his eyes widen at the proximity and your close touch to his face makes the tip of his ears red, his gaze avoids yours nervously.

You barely finish and without waiting for an answer, he began to walk down the stairs of the academy. Leaving you upstairs with a satisfied smile, he seems quite in a hurry to get home.

The icy wind of Piltover forces you to get a little closer to Viktor when you manage to catch up with him while crossing the street. His steps are long and determined, he has barely taken a break since you started walking.

“Why are you so nervous?” you ask, breaking the silence. Normally he takes one or two breaks along the way, excusing himself by looking at the shop windows that you know he has little interest in.

“Nervous? Me?” Viktor arches an eyebrow and looks at you out of the corner of his eye, his tone has a doubtful tone.

“Yeah, even when you’re making fun of me,” you retort, remembering the coat incident earlier. “You seem to have your mind somewhere else.”

He lets out a short, almost dry laugh. “It’s not like that, just, you know… Someone has to keep the calm.”

“Someone? You mean you?”

“Of course. If you’re too busy freaking out over coats.” Viktor looks at you with a glint of amusement in his eyes, “someone has to take charge of looking professional.”

You frown, though you can’t hide the smile that threatens to appear. “If you put it that way it’s okay, I like you like that.” Is it dirty play? Yes, but it’s worth it when you see Viktor’s face.

Heat rises to his cheeks before he can stop it, but he hides it by burying his face deeper into his scarf. You’ve beaten him this time, but like any sore loser, he won’t let things go.

He stops walking abruptly, his body hunched over his knee.

Your triumphant expression leaves your face completely and you don't hesitate to approach him, worried. The weather was cold and that used to increase the pain in his leg, but you didn't expect it to be so strong as to double him over in pain.

“Does it hurt?” you asked somewhat worried, your hand on his back ready to help him stand up if necessary. “Not at all.” He turned his face only to be met with a proud and victorious smile.

The streets are empty, and the shops are beginning to close, Viktor resumes his straight posture while looking from side to side as if he wanted no one to see his next move, you follow his gaze, not quite knowing what to look at or what to look for. You feel the cold handle of his cane touch your chin gently and guide it to make you look up, towards him. He approaches cautiously and you know his pulse is shaking a little from the way the handle of his cane shakes, finally he presses his lips against yours, with an overwhelming softness that at another time would have made you draw him closer, but like all good things, it didn’t last long. The sound of a metal shutter being loudly lowered pushes him away from you like a scared cat before you can properly reciprocate. He tries to compose himself but the blush on his cheeks and the nervous movement of his eyes give him away; even someone as controlled as Viktor isn’t immune to nervousness.

You laugh, like a little child, savoring his kiss at the same time. Giving affection in public is a huge leap of faith for him and you know it, you melt every time he does it.

“Don’t look at me with that eyes.” he says avoiding your gaze, a shy smile forming on his mouth and refusing to disappear no matter how hard he tries.

“What eyes?” You ask, feigning innocence at the subject, searching for his free hand with yours to take it and not let it go.

His eyes meet yours, his pupils dilate quickly like drops of paint in water. That's one of the things you like about him, no matter when he tries to hide his feelings, you know exactly that his gaze will always give you the answer.

“Forgotten” he snorts trying to lighten the subject. This time offering you his arm to walk together.

Both of you walk in silence, just enjoying each other's company for the rest of the way, you look at the shops, some are closing, others still have warm lights on inside and a few people looking through the windows. People from Piltover don't usually go out at night, maybe because for them there isn't much interesting to see when the sun goes down. But you and Viktor are from Zaun, you reject the sun like hermit vampires and the night is the perfect time to go out and to let out certain romantic gestures as you already taste before.

Continue...

[somehowmags]

my @mcytblrholidayexchange gift for @my-little-versaille! you asked for fictional/in universe religion which is as many people know "my shit" so here is techno at the temple of the blood god based on some headcanons i wrote a few years ago! more details under the cut

so this is based on some headcanons i had for the blood god not being a god of warfare, but instead a god of medicine! in my headcanon this also includes the idea of like, "societal medicine", so the blood god is also a god of revolution and anarchy, which is healthy for a society

the markings on the body are based on medical diagrams from the islamic golden age. when i was a kid my parents took me to a museum that had some of these diagrams on display and they stuck in my head, so i thought it would be fun to incorporate them here!

i planned from the start to have them extending an open hand towards techno, but it took me a while to figure out what they should be holding in their other hands. i wanted a torch, for the symbolism of them lighting a way forwards, but it was originally held in the top hand. i wanted them to have a weapon of some kind, and i had trouble deciding what it was going to be (ideas included a spear or a scimitar of some kind) but eventually for the sake of visual clarity i decided on just having a closed fist. i also wanted a medical instrument, and i did consider a bonesaw, but couldn't find a reference for it that i liked, so i settled on a scalpel. the sickle was because i thought it would be funny to put a farming tool in there. because potato war. yes i know you don't harvest potatoes with a sickle please leave me be

i thought about adding curtains instead of the giant columns that were tied back to reveal the painting but then i thought to myself. those curtains would be huge. who's drawing them. who's getting up and drawing the huge fuckoff curtains in the abandoned temple every day. so they became columns LMAO

the blood god reaching out of the painting towards techno was definitely intentional symbolism and NOT me fucking up the size of the frame yep mhm

in my head the story of this drawing is techno exploring an abandoned temple when he comes across this painting and it speaks to him, which is when he becomes a disciple of the blood god

in many ways this is a spiritual sequel to my eret in mizu drawing which ALSO featured a massive work of art in an arch shaped frame and a very small person underneath it. listen, i'm a simple bitch and i love arches

hope you enjoy!

[twooftheluckyones]

How The One Who Waits Stole Christmas

Everyone up above sure liked Christmas a lot… But Narinder, Who was chained down below, Did NOT! Narinder hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason. It could be his third eye wasn't set in just right. It could be, perhaps, that his chains were too tight. But I think that the most likely reason of all, May have been that his heart was dead, shriveled and small. Whatever the reason, His heart or his chains, He stood there on Christmas Eve, feeling disdain, Staring through the red crown, hissing whispered insults At the warm burning bonfires above in his cult. He knew every beast in Old Faith lands above, Was busy now, spreading their kindness and love, "And they're slacking on duties!" he snarled with a sneer, "Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!" Then he growled, with his bone fingers nervously drumming, "I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!" For Tomorrow, he knew, all mortal girls and boys, Would wake bright and early. They'd rush for their toys! And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise! Noise! Noise! Noise! That's one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! Then the cult, young and old, would sit down to a feast. And they'd feast! And they'd feast! And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! They would feast on pumpkin stew, and follower flesh. Which was something Narinder couldn't stand, even fresh! And THEN They'd do something He liked least of all! Every whelp in the compound, the tall and the small, Would stand close together, with rhythmic drums beating. They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Lamb would start bleating!They'd bleat! And they'd bleat! And they'd BLEAT! BLEAT! BLEAT! BLEAT! And the more Nari thought of those ear piercing bleats, The more that he thought, "This should be no feat" "Why, for three centuries I've put up with it now!" "This ritual can be extinguished, But HOW?" Then he got an idea! An awful idea! NARINDER GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA! "I know just what to do!" The cat laughed in his throat. And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat. And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great godly trick!" "With this coat and this hat, they’ll look just like Saint Nick!" "All I need is my vessel." The god looked around. But, since they had not died, they were not to be found. Did that stop Narinder? No! The cat simply said, "If they won’t come to me, I will grab them instead!" So he reached through a portal with his boney black hand, And pulled the Lamb out, just like he had planned.

In a flash they were dressed in their new Santa Fleece And fed their new doctrine against Christmas peace Then Narinder said, "GET OUT!" And he threw them right back, To the land of the living, with the plan of attack. Remove all the toys, the trees and the leisure So their god could watch over with quiet and pleasure Pleasing him was a thing that they so deeply treasured "This is stop number one," through the red crown he hissed, Pointing toward the small hut of a brand new cultist They walked in the hovel with reckless abandon Soon, there was no decor left up or left standin The red crown grew fat as they tossed presents in It was not a big fan, as it much preferred sin Lamb stuck to their task, as their master commands For, perhaps if they do this, they can maybe hold hands They gathered up things from shelter to shelter Heart burning with passion like a hot iron smelter Statues! Cookies! Holly and bells! Every last item made the greedy crown swell. By the look of things, Narinder could tell, The god’s plan was going incredibly well Lamb looted their food stores, tossing all they amassed For the cat god had called for a cult-wide week fast In the last little tent and the edge of the clearing While completing their task, the Lamb caught someone peering The follower yawned and their leader just knew It’s snoring poet, Thorjol, that liked to eat poo "Leader, I awoke when I heard something scoot May I ask why you’re wearing a Santa Claus suit?" Lamb had been caught, but patted his head Softly said, “BAAA,” then stabbed him til dead. They had already planned to get rid of this clown But the sacrifice ritual had been on cool down It was quarter past dawn… All the beasts, still a-bed, All the beasts, still asnooze, and the Lamb bowed their head Their crusade on Christmas went smooth as could be Now to dump all that garbage right into the sea Breaking a sweat, the wooled one rolled the crown All bloated and heavy, leaving a trench in the ground They soon reached the beach, down the sand like a comet When the crown hit the water, it started to vomit Little by little, it shrunk down to size With a noticeable watering under its eye Every last present sunk down to the depths But the Lamb beamed quite widely, no single tear wept They had done a good job, and they had just a hunch That their big hunky cat god was just pleased as punch It felt like that little lamb could do no wrong And they couldn’t help but break out into song They bleated and baa’d and bleated some more To an old sheepy folk song right there on the shore So loud and so proud, why it was such a show That it traveled down to the One Chained Below He gritted his teeth and plugged up his ears This whole thing confirmed his greatest of fears Christmas can be destroyed and reduced down to scrap But that goddamn Lamb will NOT shut their yap

[illbegottenfaith]

merry christmas, please don't call

one year on, you look back on the fight that ended yours and theo's relationship (theo nott x reader)

a/n - and that's a wrap on the christmas fics! I had a few more ideas but I'm working on pacing myself/not burning out so maybe next year :)

tropes/warnings - angst, no happy ending, exes to...exes?

word count - 2.6k

Dec 23rd, 5.49 pm

You were frozen in the entrance hall of Malfoy Manor. You had arrived for a Christmas bash which doubled as a reunion, even though it had only been a year since your friends had graduated and gone their separate ways. A reunion where you'd once again see your ex-boyfriend, Theodore Nott. You knew you'd inevitably have to see him again, but to coincidentally arrive within five minutes of each other? You fidgeted restlessly, willing the house elf to hurry.

You hadn't seen him in...a year, was it? He looked unexpectedly grave, dressed in navy blue and wrinkles that aged him far beyond his years. He even had a subdued grey scarf tucked under the collar of his coat. Unable to pretend you didn't see each other for any longer, the both of you made awkward eye contact.

"Hi."

Theo nodded. "How are you?"

"Good." You scrounged for something to say. "I've just gotten accepted into the auror recruitment programme."

As far as conversation supplements went, it wasn't the best. Still, it seemed to do the trick. Theo smiled suddenly, as if he couldn't help it, immediately looking years younger. Clearly, your time apart hadn't made him forget how badly you had wanted to be an auror, and how tirelessly you had been working towards it. "That's fantastic. Congratulations."

You felt yourself warming up to him. While his usual charms never worked on you, you were a sucker for those glimpses of sincere joy. "Thank you. What about you?"

"I'm at the Ministry of Magic now. My department's based in Scotland."

"Ah. Scotland. How nice. Looks like it agrees with you. The Scottish air, I mean," you hurried to clarify, tripping over your words. Seeing an ex again was hard for anyone, you tried to convince yourself. It was perfectly justified for you to get a little tongue-tied. "You look - you look good."

"Thank you." He almost looked...embarrassed. You had never seen Theo acting this bashful. It was curious, how much could change in just a year. He gave a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "So do you."

By then, the house elf had returned to show to your separate rooms. You turned to say goodbye, but Theo was already halfway up the stairs.

Dec 23rd, 6.17 pm, one year ago

Malfoy Manor was filled with opulent, excessively elaborate bedrooms like the one you and Theo were staying in. Theo was hidden somewhere in the recesses of the large room, getting ready for the Christmas dinner party. You were sitting up on the bed, trying to find the right words when Theo emerged from the dressing area, nearly ready. His eyes swept over you as he frowned.

"Why aren't you dressed?"

The dread coiling in your stomach stung like acid.

"I'm not coming for dinner tonight."

Theo stared at you for a beat, then two. Then he gave a bark of sardonic laughter, walking back into the dressing area.

"I don't know why I'm surprised."

You grimaced. Even though you had braced yourself for it, his callousness stung. "I don't particularly like your family, Theo," you snapped. "This isn't news."

Theo stepped out from behind the wall, tie abandoned half-tied around his neck. You shrank into yourself under the full brunt of his displeased stare, wishing he'd go back to getting dressed. You knew he'd never raise a hand against you. He didn't have to, not when he was more than capable of inflicting psychological harm. Still, you'd be lying if you denied finding him intimidating on occasion.

He dropped the mocking tone. It was almost a kindness. "But you agreed to come to this."

You smoothed down the covers of the bed, refusing to meet his eye. "Yeah, well, I thought I'd feel up to it. But I don't."

Theo fiddled with his cufflinks aggressively. "Do you have any idea how much of a mess you've made that I have to clean up? I'm going to have to sit there for hours, coming up with half-baked excuses for why my girlfriend is missing Christmas dinner."

You laughed incredulously. Was he being purposefully obtuse? Was that all you were to him, some ornament to make him look even more dazzling? "I'm sorry, Theodore," you said sarcastically, "I'm sorry I'm making things so difficult for you just because I don't want to sit through hours of sickening affectations from some of the worst people on the planet."

His demeanour flipped like a switch. He straightened, an obstinate undercurrent to the tension in his jaw.

"I don't ask or expect you to bend over backwards for me, so you can quit acting like I do."

"You don't? You're throwing a hissy fit over me skipping out on one dinner!"

"For Merlin's sake, Y/N, it's a fucking dinner party. How hard is it to have a meal and hold some polite conversation for a couple of hours?"

"When it's with your family? Pretty fucking hard."

"Then why did you even agree to this in the first place?"

"I didn't want another fight."

"We're fighting now, aren't we?"

You didn't know what to say to that. Theo disappeared inside once more. You felt traitorous tears pricking the corners of your eyes.

"I just - I just feel like lately...all we do is fight." You hated how small your voice sounded. You flinched as the memory of your last fight insistently pressed on barely-healed wounds. I don't hate you, you had said. I don't - I could never. No. I could never hate you, Theo. Over and over, you had repeated it like a mantra. What had you done all that for? Why did you care so much?

"Tough luck, Y/N," Theo said, his voice bouncing off the marble walls. "This is what couples do. They fight."

You drew your knees to your chest, trying to regulate your breathing. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. "I'm sick of it, Theo. I really am. Aren't you sick of it?"

Theo reappeared, swearing under his breath, having resumed the struggle with his tie. He walked towards the full-length mirror at the corner of the room.

"Maybe we wouldn't be fighting so much if you didn't have to be so difficult all the time."

You were speechless. Theo took the opportunity to duck back into the dressing area, muttering something under his breath about dinner parties. You felt yourself retreating into your shell, smarting under the sting of his words. But it was more than that. You could feel yourself pulling away from him.

"I don't want to do this, Theo. I don't want to...make you an enemy."

"Then don't." Theo walked out of the dressing area for the final time, impatiently holding out the crimson dress you had picked out weeks ago. "Enough of this. Get dressed so we can go."

Enough of this. That was the problem, wasn't it? To Theo, this was all just one big temper tantrum he could discipline you out of.

You finally looked up to meet his eye, taking in his entire appearance. Merlin help you, but he looked ridiculously handsome in burgundy. His tie was just a smidge crooked like it always was every time you weren't around to fix it for him. Something twinged inside your chest at the sight of him fully dressed, ready to abandon you any minute now for the quiet, murmuring chatter that was beginning downstairs. Theodore Nott, virile and headstrong, was forever going to press on, with or without you.

You wished it didn't have to be this way.

"I wanted to make things easier for you, Teddy," you whispered, looking past the dress he was holding out. "I really did. You have to believe me. Please."

He wasn't going to browbeat you into getting his way. Not this time.

Theo flung the dress on the floor where it pooled at your ankles like a puddle of spilt blood. Like a condemnation. You closed your eyes and pressed a hand to your clammy forehead. You felt physically sick.

"I'm late for dinner."

present day

Dinner was a pleasant enough affair. As per your seats, Theo wasn't completely hidden from your peripheral vision, but that didn't matter once you started catching up with your friends. Afterward, everyone migrated to one of the living rooms, drinks in tow. It was a riot, seeing all the old crowd under one roof once again. Had they all always been this funny?

By some curious happenstance, Theo ended up next to you on one of the loveseats. As the night wore on, you found yourself gravitating towards him, leaning into him more and more with every bout of hysterical laughter. Eventually, the party started breaking up into smaller groups and dwindling in size as people started excusing themselves, one by one.

So here the two of you were, alone, drunk enough to pretend like the past year hadn't existed. It reminded you of the celebratory parties after Slytherin's victories during Quidditch season. You'd leave early, but in a couple of hours a completely wasted Theo would show up at your door (Merlin knows how, even absolutely smashed, Theo could reach the girls' dormitories), complaining about his head hurt.

You'd entertain his whining, fussing over every scrape he had sustained during or after the match, kissing it all better. You secretly loved those nights - it was the only time he ever let you baby him. Or, as Theo might have considered it then, let you have the upper hand. Even then, you had your differences, but they never stopped you from staying in sync with one another.

If only that were enough.

Now, you were nestled into his side, your head resting on his shoulder and your drink on his thigh. It was quiet, too quiet, even with a fire going in the fireplace. You glanced up at him. His eyes dropped to your lips. You knew where this was headed. Maybe you'd known, or hoped, ever since you'd received the invitation. In all honesty, you were too miserable to push him away.

"Theo," you murmured against the shell of his ear, "what are you doing?"

"Remember how good we had it?"

Your glass of wine drooped in your slackened grip. Most of the time, you were happy being single, but then again, most of the time you didn't have your ex-boyfriend drunkenly pressing hot, distracting, open-mouthed kisses down your neck.

"What I remember is how we left things, and why."

"Remind me."

With a considerable effort, you righted your glass, squinting blearily around the dim living room. Honestly, all this estate and not a single coffee table to put a drink down? "We were, um, we were falling out of sync."

"Right," he said drily, plucking the glass out of your hand as if he had read your mind. "So out of sync that we couldn't help but arrive at the exact same time."

"Five minutes."

"Hmm?"

"It wasn't the exact same time. I arrived five min-"

You abruptly forgot what you were saying, deciding that it didn't matter when your mind was fogged with the delirious pleasure Theo was inflicting on you. Frustratingly, Theo pulled away after a minute, lightly flushed.

"My point is, don't you miss it?"

It took you a moment to regain your bearings. You blinked at him. In the flickering light of the fireplace, his eyes shone with such aching sincerity that you nearly forgot that all of this had been his fault.

You wondered if things would be different today if you had slipped into that dress and forced yourself to put on a brave face. After all, it was only a couple of hours. Maybe you wouldn't have ended things that night. Maybe you'd have worked through what might just have been a rough patch.

Or maybe you'd still be together, more miserable than ever.

The cracks were showing. You could have ignored them for only so long.

You pushed him away, suddenly disgusted by more than just the stench of whiskey on his breath.

"Shut up, Theo. You made me feel like an island. Our relationship was crumbling and you didn't give a damn about any of it." You retrieved your glass from where it was surprisingly steadily propped up between the cushions. "You didn't give a damn about me."

Sitting here, your third drink in your hand, the sting of embarrassing tears brought an unpleasant realisation. That had been the worst part, hadn't it? You couldn't even say that it was because he hated you, not when he didn't care enough to. Why didn't he care? Were you too boring? Uninteresting? Not worth his attention, positive or otherwise?

"Cara mia," he whispered urgently, as if English alone couldn't convey his distress. "I promise, I did care about you. You have to believe me. I just - " he faltered, his eyes dropping to the floor. "I didn't express it very well," he finished quietly.

"Like that means something. You were awful to me, especially towards the end."

He had the gall to look genuinely stricken. "Tesoro, please. Don't say that."

But now that you had begun, you couldn't stop. "I begged you to care, Theo. Do you know how humiliating that was? I begged you to care and you just couldn't find it in you." Your heart felt heavy. It was the first time you had let yourself grieve what you once had with Theo. With considerable difficulty, you pressed on. "Just like I couldn't find it in myself to put on that dress and act like everything was fine."

You took a sadistic sort of pleasure in his grimace. Good, he should feel uncomfortable. If anything, the time to feel uncomfortable had been last year, but that ship had sailed long ago. "So forget it. I've had a lifetime's worth of begging for scraps of your affection."

Something in Theo's face changed. It was as if he hadn't entertained the possibility of failing to sweep you off your feet, like he had done so many times before. When he spoke, it was with none of his usual embellishments or charms.

"I know you probably hate me now. As you have every right to. As you should." He paused. "Merlin knows I've hated myself every day since."

You wanted to laugh. Theodore Nott, with a head three sizes too big, hate himself? "Hate yourself? What for?"

Theo scratched his face, staring into nothing, in a distractedly hopeless sort of way. "I don't know. Too many things. For raising my voice at you. For pretending I didn't notice us..." He trailed off, as if he were too embarrassed to finish the sentence. He swirled the little amber liquid left in his crystal glass. "For making you feel like you couldn't rely on me."

"Is this your way of apologising?"

Theo laughed weakly, and when he looked up, his pale blue eyes dull with the sheen of a naively boyish desperation you hadn't seen in a while.

"Would it change things? An apology?"

You pressed your lips together in a thin line. It was all the confirmation he needed. Silence descended on the two of you.

"We were good. Once."

Perhaps. But once upon a time was too flimsy of a reason to fix things now. You took one last look at Theo, fighting the wild impulse to kiss him on the cheek in some half-hearted bid to piece together the shattered man sitting next to you. Even now, after all that had transpired between the two of you, you couldn't help but feel some sort of moral responsibility for his happening. It was curious, how nothing had seemed to change over the past year.

When you spoke, it was with a tone of finality that glued his tongue to the roof of his mouth.

"Merry Christmas, Theo," you whispered as you stood to leave.

Please don't call.

[shinedoitsulikeabright]

Twins AU

Alright, it seems like people were actually curious about this AU, so I decided to write this post. The OG idea was mine, but then @axt-bs and I worked on it together (also a huge thanks to @bigidiotenergytm for drawing the kiddos). Make sure to show them both some love <3

This is going to be a long post so brace yourselves...

The AU starts after Thunder Bringer. In an attempt to save both himself and his crew, Odysseus used the other ways of persuasion. It worked and Zeus agreed to it. They both believed it would be a one time thing, however, after seeing how juicy Ody's thighs were, Zeus couldn't bring himself to let him leave.

So, he gave him a new ultimatum: he either stays with Zeus and becomes his servant while the rest of his crew returns home safely, or he leaves with his men and they all certainly die. Obviously, Odysseus didn't want to do it, but he had no other choice but to stay. As promised, the crew made it back to Ithaca quickly and safely.

Naturally, it didn't take long for Poseidon to find out what happened. Of course, he was FUMING. Odysseus was his mortal to fuck kill. He went to Zeus and demanded he give him Odysseus so "he can receive his divine punishment and pay for the crimes he committed against him".

Zeus obviously didn't want to, but Poseidon gave him an ultimatum: either he gives the mortal to Poseidon or Ithaca will become the next Atlantis. Now, Zeus himself doesn't care about what happens to Ithaca, but Odysseus does and begs for his island to be spared.

Since Zeus and Poseidon are a match in terms of power, the thunder bringer reluctantly agrees. They end up awkwardly sharing Ody (one year he's with Zeus, another with Poseidon). One day, the two brothers get in a fight and somehow get to the topic of whose sperm is more powerful. They decide to settle it by getting Odysseus pregnant and seeing whose baby he gives birth to.

Anyway, some time passes and it's time for the babies to be born. In order to spare both Odysseus and the potential future child from Hera's wrath, Zeus sends him back to Ithaca. In fact, Zeus had to physically hold Hera back from cursing Ody's entire bloodline.

He also sent Artemis, the goddess of midwives, to help with the delivery. No one knew she would be coming; she just kinda showed up, all disheveled from the woods, at their front door and went to work.

The firstborn was Kyrios, the son of Zeus. Naturally, Zeus was beyond proud about his win and rubbed it into his disgruntled brother's face. He was quickly humbled, however, when the second child (Atlanta) was born and it was Poseidon's. They both just sat there in shock, somewhat disappointed that it was a tie (things like this happened in Greek mythology so it's not like it would be unheard of).

As expected, the two gods are terrible fathers and aren't present at all in the twins' lives. They do care in their own way though. They watch over the entire family from afar and send small, but noticeable blessings to the island (it rarely stormed, the sea was unusually calm, the Ithacan fisherman suddenly start catching more fish etc.)

Since the twins were raised by Ody and his family and never met their fathers, they began to resent them. However, they still also respected them because, well, they were gods. While everyone was able to notice the sudden influx of blessings, to the twins it all appeared normal (since it was that way since they were born, so in their minds, the gods never cared about them).

Odysseus taught them so much and raised them well. He taught them to be loyal to their future partners, so that was yet another reason why they resented their divine fathers (this is also why Hera eventually stops hating them, particularly Kyrios. She sees he's nothing like Zeus and that makes her stop wishing he were dead).

I think that's about it. If you'd like to read about Penelope and Telemachus' thoughts, you can check out this post. If you'd like to see some cute drawings of these little guys, check out this and this post.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I'm more than happy to yap about these guys all day :3

[cherryblooom]

Enchanted — OP81 [introduction]

Summary: After being forced of moving mid-year of school, the least thing you expected was getting a crush in a cute boy who loves karting and actually being corresponded. I mean, you have always wanted to have a romance like the books but forgot all the struggles and challenges that comes with it.

Pairing: Teen!Oscar Piastri x Teen!Reader

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Warnings: period shaming, bullying, reader has some questionable thoughts and self-contempt, animal abuse (no details). mostly narration.

Author note: This is my very first work ever, please be nice and reblog if you liked it!

Everything felt very surreal. You can feel your eyes stinging, fighting not to let out those tears that you had been holding in since before you left the house.

There wasn't much traffic, but you weren't sure if that was a good thing or if you just wanted to delay the impossible. You knew it was necessary but couldn't help feeling guilty for your parents for having to move across the country and leave everything they knew behind. Your father had lived his entire life working and building his company from scratch and thanks to endless nights, you and your mother were just beginning to see the fruits of his hard work, of course, before all the shitshow happened. Your parents had done everything they could to make you understand that their anger was not your fault and not directed towards you, it was actually the opposite, but you couldn't help feeling resentful and like a freaking failure.

You played with the apps on your phone in a failed attempt to distract yourself but couldn't help to grimace when you opened the Instagram app and saw your now private profile. You followed some famous people but you only had 10 followers as all the others were deleted by your mother.

''I'm sorry for making you move and leave everything behind. Dad, the company...''

''Honey, no. Stop it!'' your father replied after lowering the volume of the radio while your mother, who was in the passenger seat next to him, turned around with a look of concern. ''We already talked about it, you're not guilty of what happened and we're not angry at you. We should have protected you and been there for you but we realized it too late but I promise you that we are going to leave all this in the past and although you don't want to believe it now, we love you and we always will.'' She was right, you couldn't believe her. Your mind was going down a somewhat dark path and you were sure that if your mother had even the slightest idea of what was going on in your head, she wouldn't hesitate to send you to a psychologist. ''Plus, you will love the new house! It has a beautiful patio and a pool where you can practice in case you want to join the swimming team at your new school.’’ She told you slightly excited, trying to pass on the feeling to you but you didn't have the heart to tell her that it wouldn't be possible, so you just nodded and looked out the window again.

You could feel your mother's gaze on you, perhaps waiting for an answer or even a smile but you didn't have the energy to do it or even fake it.

You had become what they call a ''bookworm''. Despite having access to technology and internet, you had developed a great love and appreciation for physical books and the smell of a new book excited you more than what is perhaps ''normal'' but thanks to the fact that apparently not many people shared the sentiment, the library was empty most of the time (at least the one located in the junior wing of the school, you didn't know about the one in the senior wing, but you have heard that it has like three floors and a private cafeteria).

You were reading one of your favorite books again and even though you practically knew the story by heart, you couldn’t stop laughing and feeling your heart flutter at the thought of how it would feel to be loved like that. Would you ever be able to find someone who would love and admire you just for being you? Just for existing? You had a love/hate thing for romance books. You read about how the characters were loved, cared for, how they could let go and turn their brains off to just…be. Exist. You knew you had just turned 14 and that according to your parents and the logical part of your brain, you have a whole life waiting ahead of you, but you can’t imagine that someone could love you like that. You couldn’t even make friends, how the hell are you going out to dates? No idea, but you didn’t want to think about it and fall down that rabbit hole. You turned the page, excited as you were only about 10 pages away from your favorite part but decided to leave it for later to read in the comfort of your room.

The alarm distracted you from your book and with it, you knew that you only had 10 minutes left of lunch (you weren't a big fan of the cafeteria, lots of people and noise so the library was always a good choice) and that you had to go to the biology lab, not forgetting to stop by your locker to look for the essay that you have to hand in today. When you reached for your backpack, you felt a strange tug in your stomach that you didn't know how to describe, you had never felt anything like it before, so you were quite confused, but you ignored it since you knew you didn't have much time left.

Then you saw him. A boy your age was entering the library but you turned around facing away from him, so he was unable see you. You barely saw him for a few seconds but boy, was he cute. Is this what you always read about? You didn't even know the boy's name, but you noticed his short brown hair, his rosy cheeks and how tall he was. Was this your first crush? It’s dumb! You watched him for a few seconds but apparently that was enough to make you fantasize what it would be like to talk to him or what his name would be, if he was nice or a jerk like the rest of the boys in your class (which would be a bummer). All of the other girls in your class have no problem talking to boys or making friends in general but here you are, covering your face with your hair so the cute boy you saw for two seconds doesn’t notice your presence.

You walked out of the library with your coat hanging on your backpack, it wasn’t cold so you didn’t need it at the moment. You had 5 minutes before Biology started so you headed to your locker and you always walked close to the walls, that way you drew as little attention as possible. Apparently, old habits die hard. Up until now, you had done a pretty good job of being a regular girl and not drawing attention to yourself. The girls in your class dangerously reminded you of the girl responsible for you having to move and change schools mid-year and the boys in your class are jerks, is the best way you can describe them. There was no way you wanted to run into any of them. You wake up, go to school, go home, do your homework and then go to bed. Same routine, every day. You watched on social media as your other classmates went out, had fun, went to the mall, bought makeup and clothes, posted photos and videos in groups, laughing, and as much as you wished you didn't care, you felt envious. Why can't you be like that? Why do you have to be the little weirdo who always goes unnoticed, and no one pays attention to?

You had to take one more turn to get to your locker when you heard giggles behind you. You turned your head slightly and saw two boys who were a grade above pointing at you and laughing; your chest started to hurt and you felt like there wasn't enough air to breathe. Anxiety, you felt anxious. You ran to your locker as the laughter intensified behind you and you just knew that you were the reason for it. Suddenly, you felt that same tug at the bottom of your belly.

''Oh no, no, no, please don't...'' you whispered almost on the verge of tears. You felt something hit your head and then fall to the ground. You wanted to die when you looked down and saw a sanitary pad that someone had thrown at your head which made the laughter louder.

''Oh no, the weirdo is bleeding out! I hope she has another skirt because yikes.''

''Hey! You're staining the floor, how fucking disgusting!''

''If I was the janitor, I'd make her clean it up. How disgusting.''

''Hey, honestly, how did you not notice? Didn't you feel your vagina wet or smelly or shit? Fuck, I have to get my book, but my locker is next to hers, imagine if it smells. That will be so gross!''

''In case you prefer to put things inside rather than a pad, weirdo'' Someone had thrown two tampons at your head, one of which had gotten tangled in your curls. At this point, you were already sobbing, not being able to hold back the tears and humiliated, all the while you were still turning your back on everyone with the locker open, with fear and shame eating you away.

Suddenly, you felt someone's presence which brought you out of the little dazed status.

''Honey, come on, I'm going to take you to the infirmary. Come on, you're okay, let's go.'' You could tell by the softness of the voice that it was a woman. She was the school's duty nurse. Apparently, someone was kind enough to call her while the others were scoffing. You let yourself be guide towards the infirmary and could distantly hear the nurse demanding them to stop laughing. At this point, you didn't care anymore, you just wanted to get to your bed and cry, that's all.

5 Months Later

You were in the south courtyard of the school, the farthest of all, with your third sketchbook finishing what would be your second attempt at drawing your mother. It would soon be her birthday and although you had already bought her a gift at the mall, you wanted to give her something that only you could do. Besides, she was the number 1 fan of your drawings and she bragged to her friends that her daughter was a great artist. Sometimes it embarrassed you but at the same time you felt good knowing that you had someone on your side, supporting you. With each stroke, you felt your confidence increase and, you had even opened an Instagram’s account for your drawings, and you felt good knowing that there were people who recognized your talent and encouraged you to continue learning, even if they were strangers. Maybe you were not totally alone.

You felt stuck. You couldn’t draw the hands, and with each attempt you only felt like you were screwing up more. Before you got more frustrated, you decided to take a break and continue in the comfort of your bed after eating. When you were about to start packing your things, your notebook fell open right on the last page that always made you blush. The boy from the library, who you now know also plays on the school soccer team (not that you’re stalking him at all) was looking back at you in an unfinished drawing in your sketchbook. You had only seen him passing by the halls and you couldn’t admit out loud that you unconsciously tried to match your schedule with his, like when he had his sports class. Oscar, that was his name, and you knew it thanks to the fact that he was apparently the star in the games and his name was always shouted by the people in the audience. Apart from seeing him in sports class, you didn't get the chance to see him much since he was in a grade above yours.

It was Tuesday, 3:40 PM according to the alarm you had set. School had ended 10 minutes ago but the alarm reminded you that in 5 minutes the soccer practice, Oscar's soccer practice, would start. Pathetic? Yes, but it wasn't a crime to want to appreciate your crush from afar, right?

Before you could leave the courtyard, you saw out of the corner of your eye a cardboard box which was dirty and you swore that it moved for a second. It looked like trash, but it couldn't be since the school has a zero-tolerance policy regarding that and you can literally end up suspended for throwing trash outside the trash bin. They were really strict about that. You approached it with some caution and jumped a little in shock when you saw that it did move and that it wasn't part of your imagination. Your heart stopped when you heard a small sound...a kitten? You approached more confidently, and your heart skipped a beat when you saw that the box didn't have any holes in it and was in fact sealed with many pieces of tape.

In a hurry, you threw your backpack on the floor and took out your scissors to cut the tape. You could feel the adrenaline and fear of what you might find inside if it turned out to be exactly what you thought but still, you carefully but firmly cut the tape. If they turned out to be kittens, you were going to start crying. You took a deep breath and opened it, feeling your eyes water. There were 4 kittens that looked like they couldn't be more than a few weeks old. One was completely white; another was almost completely black but with a few white spots while the last two were a combination of orange and white. One of the orange kittens, unlike its siblings, wasn't meowing and was just lying there barely breathing. You felt your heart break. They looked cold and hungry, so tiny and defenseless. You have always been a cat person, kittens being your weak point. Quickly, you grabbed your backpack, hooking it on your shoulders so you could carry the box without dropping it and you couldn’t run but did your best to walk fast. When you got to the school gate, you called your mom to come pick you up telling her about the box you found and that you wanted to take them to the vet. Your mom knew there was no way you were going to leave them abandoned after finding them so after 10 minutes you were already on your way to the vet with four beautiful kittens with you.

---------

Your Instagram account dedicated to your drawings has gained 1,000 followers, which was a great achievement for you, but you decided to take that opportunity to post that you had 3 kittens up for adoption. It destroyed you knowing that you couldn't keep the 4 kittens, but your parents had already let you keep Cotton (cliche because the kitten was completely white, you knew it, but you didn't care).

You were appalled while looking at your notifications. Oscar. Yes, that Oscar was messaging you and after checking a little more you realized that he had been following you for a while and you hadn't even noticed. You could feel your cheeks turning red, but you took a breath and remembered that he was only doing that because he wanted to adopt a kitten, you were of zero importance.

my_cherryblossom

Liked by Oscar_piastri and 57 others

A few weeks ago I found a box sealed with tape that contained 4 kittens inside. It's obvious that the intention of whoever put them there was for them not to survive but I found them just in time. Sadly, I can only keep one, which is why I am giving up the other 3 for adoption! They are so cute and playful.

If you're interested, write me.

P.S. These kittens are my life so if you give me weird vibes, I won't give you one lol

view all 10 comments

---------------

Radio Check: As mentioned above, this is just the first part of what I hope will be a series telling Oscar x Reade's story. If you'd like to be tagged, let me know! Please Reblog and like!

[stayteezdreams]

Secret Santa

Plot: For years, someone has been leaving you presents at Christmas, and you never knew who it was. This year, you caught them in the act.

Pairing: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi x Gn!Reader (childhood friends > strangers > ???)

Warnings: Mentions of bullying, rumors, classic mean-girl stuff. Brief mention of possible stalker (but its not). Sort of an open-ending but its a happy one.

A/n: I try to write these ahead of time every time, but I always fail (I say the night before the day I post this as I am panicking to write it)

Words: 4.4k

As you laid the familiar Christmas themed blanket out on your couch, you thought back on how you got it.

The first Christmas after you moved into a place on your own, a present appeared at your doorstep. There was no note or tag, so you thought maybe it was a nice neighbor leaving a secret present as a welcoming gift. Inside was the blanket. Large, soft, and in your favorite pattern.

Then the next year, you received a cute stocking full of your favorite candies, and a pair of gloves and a matching scarf.

The year after that, you moved away and assumed the Christmas gifts would stop. So, when another present showed up on your new doorstep that Christmas, you started to grow more than a little concerned. Especially when the present consisted of your favorite band’s new album, and one of your favorite candles only sold at a store near where you grew up.

Asking everyone you knew, no one admitted it was them, but you assumed it had to be one of them. Otherwise, the only other option was a stalker, and you certainly didn't want to entertain that idea.

You had hoped that you would catch them in the act one time, to finally find out once and for all who it was playing secret Santa these past few years. But the presents always appeared when you weren’t home, or they were left over night. The identity of the secret Santa remained a mystery to this day.

When you returned from the grocery store that evening, you feared you missed catching them again, as a large package was sitting at your front door. But relief washed over you when you saw your parents’ name and address at the top.

Inside the package was an array of wrapped presents your parents sent, since you wouldn’t be able to see them until New Years.  

As you took out the packages, as well as various candies and home-made treats, you spotted a familiar photo in a frame you had decorated in class, a wave of melancholy hit you.

A small note from your mother was attached, ‘I found this the other day and thought you might want it.’

The photo was of you and your childhood best friend hugging, you were about eight years old. "Soonyoung." You mumbled his name softly as you smiled. It had been a long time since you had seen him.

Last you heard he got a job at a dance studio in the same city you lived. Which made sense, he was always fond of dancing. And loved to try and force you to like it too. You always wondered if you would run unto him at some point, but the city was pretty big.

Setting the framed photo on your shelf, you smiled, though your chest was a bit heavy as the memories of your last argument with Soonyoung ran through your mind.

You couldn't help but wonder if he thought of you at all, and if he ever did, did he hate you?

As the evening drew in and the sun continued to set at an alarmingly early hour, you cuddled up on the couch and started watching videos on your phone. You only intended to lounge for a while, but as you sunk deeper and deeper into the couch, you never got up. Even as the house grew dark around you, you remained in your spot.

So lost in the videos you were watching, it took a few moments for you to focus on a sound you were hearing somewhere. Finally noticing it again, you paused your video as you held your breath and strained your ears.

Your heart skipped a beat as your gut clenched when you realized it was coming from right outside your front door.

Was it scratching? No. It was more of a rustling noise.

Rising from the couch, you silently slunk to the window, crouching down as you peaked out, heart hammering. Your eyes widened in fear as you flinched at the sight of a person outside your door.

‘Oh God am I being robbed? Should I turn the lights on to scare them away?’

Looking a bit closer, you noticed they had a bag in their hands. A Christmas bag. You almost gasped as you realized it was the person who had been leaving presents the last few years. You finally caught them in the act.

Squinting, you sighed in frustration as you couldn’t make out their face. They were wearing a hoodie over their head and a mask on their face. Slinking to the door, you grabbed the door handle as softly as you could.

‘Should I?’

Nodding to yourself, you took in a breath before you turned the handle and pulled the door open as quickly as you could.

The stranger at your doorstep, fell backwards in surprise as you opened the door, you pointed at them with a yell, “Caught you!”

You expected the hooded figure to be someone you knew, a family member, a friend, a coworker. You expected them to laugh and reveal themselves. But instead, the person froze for a moment, remaining completely silent, before turning and running away.

“Wh- hey, HEY!” Without thinking you ran out your front door and after them.

The stranger glanced back, and upon seeing you chasing them let out a muffled gasp before tripping and nearly falling.

“Come back here!”

You made it about two houses away before you caught up with them as they got themselves caught at the end of the cul-de-sac. With nowhere to go, they tried to outmaneuver you and make it around you, but you managed to grab the bottom of their jacket and yank them towards you.

The momentum was more than you expected as they stumbled back and fell, bringing you with them. You grunted as you fell on your butt before rushing to grab the stranger before they ran off.

Turning them over, they started waving their hands, as if expecting you to beat them up. A voice called out from behind the mask in a desperate plea, “Wait, wait, it’s me!”

“Who is me!?” You asked as you pulled back the hood and pulled down their mask.

Revealing a startled face, you froze as you stared down at them, familiarity and realization watching you. His hair was bleached blonde, and he was older, but he still had the same eyes and the same cute cheeks.

“Soonyoung?” Your voice was soft, as you looked down at him, “SOONYOUNG?” You repeated as the full realization washed over you.

He gave you a strained smile as he waved his raised hand softly. “Hi.”

“You- what? What are you even doing here?” Your voice was full of confusion as you climbed off him.

He swallowed nervously, as he sat up, his breath a bit heavy from running. He started playing with his mask as he avoided looking over at you. “Well, I just- I-“ he was fumbling to find an answer, not sure if he should tell you everything now, or just give an excuse.

Remembering the present he left at your door, you let out a sigh, making him finally look at you. “It was you leaving the presents all this time?”

He nodded softly without speaking.

Reaching out you smacked his arm softly, an action that shot Soonyoung back in time, something he missed.

“Why didn’t you just tell me? Or knock on my door? Why leave them in secret? You know I thought someone might have been stalking me, right?” Your voice became a bit hesitant, “Y-You’re not…are you?”

He suddenly started shaking his head and waving his hands. “No, no I’m not I swear! I just… I wanted to give them to you myself, but you hate me, so….”

You felt your heart clench as guilt and familiar heart ache washed over you. “I don’t hate you Soonyoung.” Your voice was soft, sad, as you rose to stand up.

His eyes followed you, caught on to your words with everything he had. “You don’t?”

“No! No, I never hated you, I just- “looking around, you sighed as you reached out your hand to help him up, “Come on, get up.”

Taking your hand, he swallowed nervously, your words echoing in his mind. You didn’t hate him? But all this time he thought you did.

“If you don’t hate me then why did you leave?”

You almost scoffed but let it go, “You really don’t know?”

He shook his head softly, a familiar pout on his face. The same face of the boy who used to follow you around. The one who promised to marry you when you got excited at a wedding when you were nine. The boy who became your world.

The boy who broke your heart.

You swallowed as a dozen memories flooded over you. You cleared your throat, “It’s cold, I’m going inside. You can come in if you want.”

As you walked away from him, he watched you with a tight chest. The last time he had seen you, you were walking away from him. And you never came back. And it was his fault.  

Back then he didn’t know he should have followed you. He wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.

Following you, he remained close, part of him wanting to reach out and take your hand as he often did when you were children. You had always been together, until you weren’t.

It was the first time you felt your heart genuinely ache. Seeing Soonyoung hand in hand with another girl. His new girlfriend. A girl who asked him out and he said yes because he was excited to date when no one else was.

The popular pretty girl. The one the teachers loved. The girl who took your best friend from you.

No more sleepovers, no more hangouts, no more lunches together. Not unless she was there, and if she was, you were invisible.

You knew he was excited about having a girlfriend. He was a freshman and thought it would be the perfect way to start high school. What he didn’t think about was you.

You had always been afraid there would come a time when you and Soonyoung wouldn’t be close anymore. When his family moved houses, you feared it. But he was still by your side every day. Then you were afraid you’d lose touch in college, but you never even made it that far. It was inevitable. And it was heartbreaking.

Truthfully, you had feelings for Soonyoung as soon as you realized what “feelings” were. He was your best friend, and your first love, even if he had no idea, even if he didn’t feel the same. Maybe you should have told him, maybe things would have been different.

The girl he dated was terrible, manipulative and fake. In secret, she would bully you, playing tricks and starting rumors. She even blamed you for things you didn’t do. Petty things like accidentally breaking something, or pranks played on students or teachers.

She was the popular girl with a pretty face, and you weren’t. So, who did they believe?

Not only did she make your first year of high school miserable. But she took Soonyoung from you.

You tried to tell him she was a liar, that she hurt you, but he was so wrapped around her finger that he didn’t believe you. For the first time in ten years, he didn’t believe you. He told you not to lie to him, he told you to be nice to her. He was angry at you. He was never angry with you.

“You’re just jealous I’m in a relationship and you’re not! Just stay away from me if you’re gonna act like this!”

These weren’t his words, and you knew it. It was her. There was no way it wasn’t.

He chose her over you. He told you to stay away from him. So, you did.

“Fine.” That was the last word you spoke to him before you turned and walked away from him, leaving behind your best friend, your first love, your first heartbreak.

It was devastating, and so noticeable that your parents intervened. They found out about the bullying, and the rumors. They figured this was why you were miserable. So, they suggested switching you to another school. They thought you might refuse, not wanting to leave Soonyoung. But you agreed, and you left. And you never saw Soonyoung again.

Soonyoung stared at his clenched hands as you finished speaking. His heart was pounding as guilt rocked him. He knew it was his fault, but he had blocked so much of it out he couldn’t remember all the details. And so much of it he never knew at all.

But you remembered all of it. Of course you did. How could you not?

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled after a few moments of silence. He sniffled a bit as he finally looked at you. You were looking down at your lap, and he didn’t blame you for avoiding his gaze.

Letting out a frustrated sigh, he put his elbows on the table and face in his hands as he groaned. “I’m such an asshole.”

You almost laughed at his sudden reaction but repressed it. Leaning back in his chair again with a sigh, he cleared his throat. Now it was his time to explain what happened next.

“I broke up with her a few months after you left.”

Your eyes shot over to him as he spoke, you had always wondered what happened to him, but made yourself stay distant.

“I guess once you had gone, she needed to find someone else to mistreat. I started to notice it more. I wasn’t as focused on her as I was, because… I was always thinking of you.”

Your heart skipped at this, as you looked over at him, heart jolting again as you saw him staring at you.

“I was devastated that you were gone. At first, she comforted me, but it never felt very genuine, then slowly, she started to get angry at me for it. She would say cruel things, and even insulted you. Then she slipped up about starting a rumor and I realized that you had been telling the truth the whole time. She got too comfortable and thought I wouldn’t care what she did. But I did. But I cared too late, I know that. I did the best I could at straightening out the rumors she started. Eventually by our second year she was known as the mean girl, and a lot of people avoided her. She couldn’t stop her true colors from being shown. She failed a lot of classes, and I don’t even think she passed her college exams.”

Listening to him, you did get a sort of satisfaction learning about her fate. The past was the past, but the hurt was still there.

“I wanted to talk to you so badly, but any time I showed up at your house you wouldn’t see me. Then when we graduated high school, you went to a college far away.”

Guilt washed over you as you let out a soft sigh. If you had given in and talked to him, maybe you wouldn’t have gone too long without seeing him.

“I’m sorry.” Soonyoung’s brow shot up as you spoke, “If I had talked to you at least once- “

“Don’t blame yourself! I mean… yeah, I wish you had, but I get why you didn’t. I blocked out the things I said to you that day. But…remembering now… I was so horrible. How could I do that to you? I mean. I was supposed to be your best friend.”

“I was supposed to be yours too. I should have tried harder to convince you about her.”

Silence sat between you for a few moments, as you both thought of what you did and didn’t do. There was guilt and heartbreak on both sides. Equal pain given and taken.

You finally spoke up again when you remembered what triggered this conversation all together “But… why the secret presents?”

“Oh! Oh. Uhm, after I heard from my parents that you graduated and moved back to the city, I really wanted to see you, but I was too scared. They got your new address from your parents and gave it to me. I got you that blanket as a housewarming gift, but when I got to your house, I got too scared, and I chickened out.” He let out an awkward laugh, “Then I just kept doing it. It was my way of being around, without really being around, you know?”

You nodded but remained silent, chewing on your lips as so many thoughts and questions crossed your mind. It was a habit Soonyoung noticed when you were kids, seeing that you still did it made him smile. He didn’t force you to speak or react as he sat there, thinking over what you had told him.

One detail he kept going back to made him smile as his heart raced. “So…you liked me?”

You froze in all your movements as you slowly looked over at him, seeing him repressing a grin. Why did you have to include that detail? Yes, it was an important part of why you were so hurt by him, but he was Soonyoung after all. And he most certainly would not be letting this go.

Groaning as you threw back your head, you heard him giggle and your heart raced, ‘uh-oh’. As he leaned forward like he was going to interrogate you, you shook your head, “Shut up. It was just a stupid childhood crush!”

He shook his head, his tone much less teasing than you expected, “I don’t think it’s stupid.” He seemed to think about something for a moment before he leaned a bit closer and spoke hesitantly. “I liked you too.”

You blinked in surprise, “What?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I mean. After you left, and I realized you were really gone, I started to think about how I felt when dating you-know-who versus when I was with you. I realized my feelings for you had been different. A good different, though. And the longer you were gone, the more I realized how I felt. But I think I refused to acknowledge them on purpose. I mean, you were already gone, so what was the point? But, yeah, I liked you too.”

As he rambled, your heart raced, and your neck grew hot. Why was this confession affecting you so much now? It had been ten years, surely those feelings were gone now. Right?

“I- uh, hmm.” You really weren’t sure how to respond, stunned by his acknowledgment of his past feelings.

Soonyoung smiled as he leaned forward, catching your eye. He had a somewhat tentative tone in his voice as he spoke, “Should we date?”

You nearly choked on your spit as you leaned forward, shock obvious on your face. You let out a bewildered laugh. “What?!”

“Come on! We both liked each other!”

You laughed again, but it held more bewilderment than humor. “Yeah, liked, as in past tense!”

He hummed under his breath, “But is it really?”

You stared at him in silence as you swallowed harshly, your heart pounding nonstop. “What? Of course it is.”

His smile turned into a familiar grin, “I recognize that tone, you’re not sure, are you? You still like me!”

You reached out and smacked at him again, “I do not! You’re being ridiculous. It’s been ten years!”

“But that’s even better then, isn’t it?! It means they’re real. More real than just a childhood crush.”

You sighed and shook your head, covering your face with your hands as you grew overwhelmed. With embarrassment or shock you weren’t sure.

You jumped ever so slightly when you felt him gently grab your wrists. Pulling your hands away from your face, you met his gaze. “I wasn’t sure just how much I liked you in the past, but I know now those feelings have only grown. You know, like that saying, distance makes the heart grow stronger.”

“Wh- are you saying, you still- “

“Like you?” He finished for you, before he nodded with a cheeky smile. “You’re right. It’s been ten years. We aren’t kids anymore. I know better now what these feelings are. I can recognize them better than I could back then. I won’t miss it this time.”

Letting your hands go, you watched as he reached down, before setting the bag he had brought in front of you. Sliding it in front of you, he spoke softly, “I was actually planning on letting you know it was me that was leaving the presents, with this.”

Hesitantly, you reached into the bag and pulled out the contents. Your heart swelled as you laid eyes on the teddy bear you had given him when you were kids. You had tied a note around its wrist and left it at his doorstep.

His family had just moved in next door, so you left him the bear and a letter introducing yourself and asking him if he wanted to be friends. The next day he showed up with his parents, and you had been inseparable since.

Around the bear’s wrist was a letter tied to it, just like how you had done so long ago.

Taking the letter off and opening it, you spared Soonyoung a look and saw him picking nervously at his nails.

‘Y/n,

I guess it’s time to finally give up this secret gift thing, it’s been four years now. I always want to knock on your door and give you the gifts yourself, but I’m a coward. You know I always have been. I hope you liked the gifts, and I hope I don’t ruin them by telling you it was me who left them.

It’s been so long since we talked, I can’t even remember the sound of your voice. Do you remember mine? I never thought there would come a time when we would stop speaking, but it happened, and I regret it every day.

I don’t know if you will feel anything when reading this. But I just wanted to let you know I think of you every day. I always have, ever since you left. And every day I feel more and more regret for letting you go, and never fighting to get you back.

The more time passed the harder it became. I felt like if I saw you, and you saw me, you would glare at me, or curse at me, or ignore me like you didn’t know me at all. That last one scares me the most. Even if we are strangers, I still hope you remember me. I think I would die if you forgot me.

I never had the courage to acknowledge how I felt about you back then. But I think I might gain some closure if I tell you at least once. Even if I am too big of a coward to tell you to your face.

You weren’t just my best friend, or my other half. You were my first love. I know that now. Too late, I know. But I hope, maybe, just maybe, that the knowledge that I never hated you, might make whatever heartache I caused you, lessen, at least a little.

I’ll leave my number at the bottom of this letter. In case you want to reach out. You don’t have to, and I won’t blame you if you don’t. But just know. I am here. I was always here. And if you ever need me, I’m just a call away.

-Soonyoung. P.S. I miss you.

As you read his letter, you hadn’t even realized you had started crying. Not until he reached out and gently swiped away a tear with his thumb.

Looking up, he smiled softly at you, a fond gaze you used to dream about seeing again.

“See? Those feelings are still there, aren’t they?” His tone wasn’t teasing, but genuine, and loving. You noticed the beginning of tears brimming his own eyes as well.

Nodding silently at his question, his smile turned into a grin.

Getting out of his chair, he knelt on his knees beside you as he held your hands. Looking up into your face he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I made you think you weren’t important to me back them. I’m sorry I was weak minded. I’m sorry I never sought you out, to make it right. I’m sorry it took me too long to realize you had been the most important thing in my life. I chased you away, I know that. And…I’m sorry I ran when you opened the door, but honestly you scared the shit out of me.”

You let out a bubbly laugh as he chuckled.

He squeezed your hands before continuing. “Please, let me make it up to you. I don’t want to start over, because I don’t want to forget what we used to be. But maybe we can start again from here?”

You swallowed back your emotions, uncertainly fading as you started to let go of the reservations you had held onto back then. He was right earlier; you weren’t children anymore. Maybe these feelings aren’t childish. Maybe they are real. Maybe you should try.

Taking in a soft breath, you nodded, “Alright. Let’s start again, here.”

He grinned up at you, letting out a shaky breath as his fear of rejection was replaced by relief and joy. Bringing your hand to his mouth, he pressed a kiss to your knuckles, making you giggle. Tugging your arms a bit, he spoke with an excited, yes soft tone.

“How about we have a sleepover? Like old times. We can properly catch up and maybe…”

You rose one of your brows before narrowing your eyes, “And?”

“Aaandd, maybe cuddle? Just a little?”

You bit back a laugh, but it escaped as he pleaded with his eyes. You cleared your throat as you tried to push back the growing bashful butterflies. “Don’t push your luck.”

He pouted, but it was quickly replaced by another smile as he suddenly yanked you into a hug. You wrapped your arms around his neck as you returned the embrace, emotions overwhelming but welcomed.

As he cupped the back of your head, he spoke softly, though his voice held countless emotions. “I missed you so much.”

You clenched your eyes shut as you squeezed him harder, letting out a soft breath as your heart swelled. “I missed you too.”

xx End xx

For having panic wrote this at nearly midnight before posting it, I'm pretty happy with how this came out!

((Taglist Form))

12 Days of Christmas Taglist: @multi-fandommaniac, @mbruben-stein

General Taglist: @charmsprout, @brattybunfornct, @bahng-chrizz, @otakutrash669,

@tinyelfperson, @pinievsev, @teenyfinds, @everythingboutkpop,

@shymexican, @stillwjk-channie-lixie, @alexxavicry

Seventeen Taglist: @ye0nvibezzn, @dancinglikebutterflywings

[ziminy]

The beauty in beast pt.2

How to not break a curse

Tags: smut, mdni, f!beast reader, bounty hunter!Toji, not so enemies anymore but also not so lovers, dark themed, a bit of delusion here and there, kinda angst I guess? (I have no idea what to call this), choking, he's teaching you how to be rough, hair pulling, creampie, slapping, Toji being a freak, marking, you almost get caught, public s(e)x,

Author's note: someone hold back my demons, please

Pt1 masterlist kinktobermastelist

At this point, the whole castle knew about you two, about the way you sneak and fool around. How you would laugh while following the bounty hunter to the closest room and then come out of it some time later looking like a total mess. How you would still cuss at him, and yet, this time it felt different. It wasn't the same old hatred you were showering him in, now it was concerned and somehow actually caring a bit.

You changed and everyone in that place noticed it. Your servants were following you discreetly, waiting and even trying to help you two get on a more personal level. But no matter how hard they tried, there was still a big invisible wall between the two of you.

Even Toji noticed the way you're acting, and he didn't cared. He didn't even bat an eye when you stopped acting like a scared cat and open up more. He pretended to not see how you slowly started to welcome him more, the pushing stopped and now you were a lot more calmer.

He misses the way you would fight, how you didn't stepped down until it escalated too much, or how you would look at him right in the eyes and fearing nothing, not even death.

That was your charm, and now he's afraid he took that away.

When he would sneak inside your chamber late at night, you didn't flinch, and even after you were done you would peacefully go to sleep, acting like everything was normal.

Perhaps this was normal, opening up and letting somebody in your life, not fearing when they might kill you. That's what normal people do, no? Find someone that you could trust, being able to close your eyes at ease without thinking twice of it.

But he didn't, he would look at you, still thinking of when he should pull his gun out and pull the trigger. He was still looking at the silverware and thinking where he should stab you with that fork. There wasn't a single situation where he couldn't kill you with ease. Even so, he would take your hand in his, looking down at you and parade with you around the estate. He would escort you from room to room and sit silently as he looked at you doing your work.

He didn't thought of it before, but now he gets it. Why was the castle in such a good shape, why your servants didn't blame you for anything even though you don't let a single day pass without cursing yourself for what you did to them. You took good care of your people, making sure no one is feeling left behind until this ugly curse is broken.

Did you consider him as yours? Hah, what a joke. He can't help but laugh just thinking about you trying to protect him the way you do to your people. You might even put him on a pedestal, put a glass over his head to protect him from any danger and probably sleep with him right next to your head.

Weren't you a cute one?

Unfortunately for you, he doesn't like that kind of attention. So you'll have to hold your horses in place if you still want to see him.

"What are you looking at?" you said, a bit annoyed at the way he kept staring at you from the other side of the room. You were trying to work and he kept distracting you.

He didn't said a thing, looking at you just like the way he did before. He probably didn't even heard you. What did you expect from him to begin with?

You roll your eyes, shaking your head in disappointment and looking back at the papers in front of you. He insisted that he wanted to be there while you're working and yet look at him.

Somehow, just after you stopped giving him attention he finally came back to reality. If he kept annoying you will you snap on him? A grin appeared on his face just at the thought of it. Well, he can try. It been too boring lately and he's afraid he might have to go back home with your head sooner than he would like to.

He got closer to your desk, throwing his gun on your papers and dragging a chair on the opposite side of the wooden furniture. "This again?" you raised an eyebrow, getting used to his empty threats.

"I have to go home with a beast taken out." he said, looking at the way you kept eyeing the gun. "Tell me about that curse of yours." always so straight forward, he had no idea what discreet even means.

"A witch cursed me." pretty much obviously, but you didn't elaborate.

"And? Did you killed her or what?" him and his mind. Always chosing violence for some reasons. "You really let her walk away?" he didn't understood you. A witch harmed you, placing a curse upon you and changing the people you love into house objects. That was more than enough reasons to want to get back at her. You were too soft, and it's getting on his nerves. Why can't you go all the way out when people are doing you wrong? Even now, you're clearly uncomfortable, you don't want to talk about it and all you're doing is avoiding eye contact, looking at your papers like they're a plausible excuse. "Choke me." he said, now waiting to see what you'll do next.

You looked at him in shock, mouth open and yet nothing came out of it. You looked like you could slap him in that moment, and again, you didn't. But he could help you. He would happily let you take out your frustration on him.

"I want your pretty fingers wrapped around my neck." you wanted to run from there. He was insane, he had something in his head that couldn't be fixed, especially by you. And even if you could, you wouldn't try it. He leaned closer making you jolt, you have to run from there before he actually make you choke him. "Come on, don't tell me you're scared." you were. "Give me your hand." you refuse. "Stop being such a scared cat and give me your hand."

He took your hand in his, dragging it to his neck and squeezing it lightly. "Does it hurt?" you were genuinely concerned about his well being, but your expression soon changed the moment he let out a moan.

You gulped, looking at him and then at the hand on his neck, then back at his face. Did he really enjoyed that? What can you even expect from him? He was a complete another specimen. "Harder." absolutely not. "Sit on my lap." you didn't even had time to complain before he dragged you in his arms.

You didn't get why he was doing this, and at this time of the day too. You had better stuff to do, and even if he didn't, he could go look for something to do. But instead he's here looking to try new things.

"I don't want to do it." but he did. And if he doesn't push your buttons then you'll remain a crybaby forever. And he doesn't want to remember you like that.

"I know you can do it." he said, a hand placed over your ass and squeezing it lightly. "Don't you wanna see how is it?"

"I don't want to hurt you." he laughed, like you could do something to him to begin with. "If you're going to laugh at me then I'm really not going to do anything."

"Why do you think I want it?" because he was crazy? He was a mad man, why would he ask you such obvious question? "If it didn't hurt then I wouldn't have liked it." with your hand still in his, he pressed it against his neck harder than last time, moving you over his crotch and letting another moan out, to show you that he was enjoying this and you're just overthinking. "Do it yourself now." he finally let go of your hand.

Still unsure of what you should do, you chocked him softly, looking at him with big eyes and waiting for him to say something about it.

"Do it like you mean it." but you don't mean it. You wouldn't do something like this, especially to him.

His dark eyes on you made you more unsure than before. I mean, he did asked for it. Wouldn't it be ruder to not do it? "You're sure?" you asked one more time, just to check. All he did was to nod before you finally wrapped your fingers around him harder.

He let his head fall back, hands on your hips and pressing you against his aching cock to make sure you were feeling him. You could be so insecure sometimes and he didn't get why. You were so much hotter when you were confident, when you looked at him in the eyes and spoke your mind freely.

"What are you doing?" you asked when he undid his belt.

"You think you can rile me up and leave me hanging like that?" he raised your hips out before taking out his cock. "Ride me." he lifted your skirt up, pulling your panties to the side and sinking his cock into you. Before you could do something, he got your hand back to his neck. "And don't forget to choke me." again? Arguing with him takes to nowhere, it's better doing what he wants so this would end faster.

Moving your hips up and down, you kept squeezing his neck lightly. You were being mindful at first, paying way too much attention to him and making sure he's alright. But the more you moved, the better it was feeling. Can you blame yourself that you forgot what to do? If it wasn't for him reminding you, you would have completely forgot. Perhaps he shouldn't had push you that much, because the closer you got to your sweet release, the harder you choke him, and if he's being honest, he loved it.

Your calculate demeanor disappears when your close. You turn into a complete mess and he can't get enough of it. You become what he wanted you to be, your true self. Like now, squeezing the life out of him, and on top of that you also made him desperate enough to make him move his hips on his own. You were moving way too slow for his liking, he had to do something. And now look at him, moaning like the bitch he is and waiting for something even more interesting to happen.

"Be quiet, what if someone hears you?" you didn't mean to put your words like that, but he was being way too loud.

"Oh yeah?" he had his same old grin on his face, stopping moving for a moment to push you on his cock and take him all the way in. "Make me." you didn't had the balls to look in the mirror, like you could do something to him.

His ideas were completely parallel to yours. While he was thinking about you using force on him, you just kissed him. A hand going through his hair and tugging at it slightly and making him moan again. He was doing it because he liked seeing you flustered, not like he enjoyed being loud or something. Well, even if he did, he wouldn't admit it.

While you figured out what he liked, so did he. He would always deny it but he really liked feeling the warmth of your touch and how gentle you were with him. It was calming, unlike his rough life. And you liked being treated the way you treat him.

But you could always try new things, like now. And who knows, you might enjoy it just as much as him.

You couldn't keep up for much longer, and he's willing to let you go lightly this time since you been good so far.

But imagine his surprise to see you keeping going even after you came, now focusing a bit too much on him. Doing just like he told you, and pulling on his hair in a way that got him rolling his eyes back. "You like it like that?" you were out of breath, and you couldn't even raise your voice from how weak you were feeling. But that didn't stopped you from rolling your body against his, waiting for him to cum too so you could go back to your work.

All he did was to moan, bucking his hips up and wrapping his arms around you before he came, filling you up a bit more than usually.

"You're alright?" you're always like this. Giving him a mind blowing orgasm and then caring a bit too much about him.

He rested his back against the chair, chosing not to reply to your question since he's not sure about his well being anymore.

"Well, that was enough for today." you said, getting up from his lap and fixing your clothes. "I'll get back to work." he can't just distract you whenever he felt like it.

He had to know what happened to you. Who that witch was, why you look like this if you're supposed to be some big monstrous beasts that had a bounty on its head. You clearly won't explain it to him, so he haves to find someone else.

He got up that chair and walked towards the door, still no more words exchange as he went somewhere where he knew someone who could respond to his questions. The biggest talker of the mansion, the walking candle that seems to have some kind of beef with the clock.

"I talked with your master." he opened a door and looked at the object he was looking for. "She told me about the witch."

"She did?" the candlestick looked surprised.

"Yeah." the man nodded. "She did."

"Then, what do you think?" the candlestick said, walking towards the man.

"About what?"

"About the curse. Our master managed to break her curse but not ours." you did? He had no idea since you were acting like you're still cursed.

"I thought the witch cursed her?"

"Yes, and she had to learn to love herself in that form." so then the claw marks in your room were made by you. "But for the curse to break completely someone haves to love her in the beast form while she accepts herself the way she is." that's a lot of work. "I'm glad master talked to you, we were starting to think she'd keep silent." well, you did. And if it wasn't for this candlestick he would have never knew about what actually happened.

Well, since you're not a beast anymore the bounty is pretty much invalid. Who would believe him if he goes home with you? Even he wouldn't have taken himself seriously.

He'll figure it out. He can find a wild boar and take it's head or something. Or he could say that you evaporated into thin air the moment he killed you. The possibilities were endless.

"How did your master looked like a beast?" he had to get an idea of what to look for.

"We actually have a painting here somewhere." his work is getting easier and easier. "Master is embarrassed of it, but we think it looks great." the candlestick took him somewhere far into the castle, the opposite side of where your bedchamber was. "It's pretty dusty but it's still looks good." there it was, a big gold frame with something that looks like a lion on it.

You looked calm, and he couldn't figure out if this was made right after you were cursed or when you finally started to accept yourself. You also looked a lot bigger, like you had the body of a bear, the clothes on you sitting way too tight and looking like they're about to be ripped apart.

If someone would have shown him this without telling him that it was you, he wouldn't believe it. But maybe he would. Because if he looks at your eyes he could see that it was indeed you.

Was it wrong of him to say that he wanted to see you like that again? Have a fight with that monstrous beast and see what you're capable of. But again, that's you so you'll hold back even if you had the upper hand.

Should he take this back with him? Not to show it as proof but to keep it to himself. Hanging right besides his bed just because he feels like it.

"I understand if this is a bit too much." the candlestick said, letting out a sigh and looking at the portrait. "Who would possibly love a beast like that?" he does. He would have loved to push you in bed regardless of your form and spend the next few hours in there.

He understands things better now. There was definitely more to the story and nobody seems to want to tell him. If you could break your curse yourself, then why were your servants still like this? Perhaps it wasn't you but them.

You always give more to them than you have, you think about the person next to you more than you think about yourself. So he doesn't get it why you got cursed in the first place. You couldn't have mistreated the witch, I mean, you'll probably let her do that to you before you'd do something to her. Then.. was it them? Your little minions that got themselves in trouble. He couldn't really see it but then again, who knows.

He needs to find out what exactly happened here. But it's clearly that you won't tell him.

The plan was easy. Be extra sweet to you, he doesn't care if it's out of character or if you'll find it weird. He'll find an excuse for that.

So, when it finally got time for a break and you went to eat, he also got there. Pulling out the chair for you and eating at your pace, to later on pull the chair for you again and walk you to your room. Holding out a hand and trying the etiquette way to escort you.

"Is everything alright?" you caught up quickly. "You've been awfully quiet tonight." he knows, but what can he do.

"It's nothing." it didn't sounded like that. He looked down at you with the corner of his eye, and then at the marks on the corridor. You made these too? The half ripped door, the holes in the walls and the way everything looks like it's falling apart. Perhaps he didn't needed to be more understanding, but maybe just show you that he doesn't care about how you look. "I saw your portrait today." he said, almost being in front of your room. "The beast one." you didn't said a thing, only looking forward and quickening the pace your walking at. "I'd fuck regardless of how you look." he said, finally letting go of your hand when you got to your room. "Even if you turn into that again, I'd still use your mouth as I please." you looked shocked at him, a bit horrified and concerned, but again, you didn't open your mouth to say a thing.

He turned around, walking back from where he came from and leaving you all alone to think about his words. You're a smart girl, you'll figure out what he's implying.

"You didn't came to eat this morning." he got into your office the next day. Dragging a chair in front of your desk and sitting down across you.

"I wasn't hungry." you were a mess, your hair all over the place, you looked like you haven't gotten any sleep.

"Did you stayed up all night?" yes you did. But you didn't reply to him. "Was it because of what I said?" it was. "I mean every single word. It doesn't matter to me how you look."

It wasn't just that. You figured out what he's doing. How he asked you about you curse, then went and look for an answer from someone else. And now he's teasing you about it like you'd give him an answer to his questions.

"Why do you want to know about the curse so badly?" he can't give you an answer to that. He was just curious, no other reasons. You sigh, pushing the work you had to do aside and deciding to give him just another clue. "What do you know so far?"

"That you broke your curse." he knows more than you thought. "Were they cursed separately or something?" he was referring to your servants.

"We were cursed on someone's else behalf." he didn't expected that. "The previous master died soon after I arrived here, this curse was supposed to be for him, not me." oh? This was a lot different than what he thought it would be.

"So how did it happen?"

"No, the witch came here a few days later after the old lord died. The servants were a bit mean to her so we all got cursed." that was it? Kinda disappointing. "She thought that I would hate myself for looking like a beast, since she didn't know that the old master died."

"So how do you break the curse?"

"Have someone love me in my beast form."

"That's it?" you nodded. He thought it would be something more worthy of hiding. Like taking a life for every single servant you have to turn them back into humans. "So you'll let them turn into objects?"

"How can you possibly love a nonexistent beast?" how heartless can you be. You went back to your work.

"What are you working on?" he always sees you working, but he haves no idea what you're actually doing.

"The work the previous lord didn't do." he's bored. That boring story you told him made him lose all interest he had. And now you dare to work and give no attention.

"Slap me." he was going to be the end of you. He needed to stop saying stuff like that out of nowhere.

"No." if you keep giving him what he wants he'll never leave you alone.

"You're scared?" more like annoyed.

"I'm not going to do it." he liked moments like this. Denying him, and not backing down until he does something to show you that it can go the way he wants. Because it's always goes as he wants.

He was trying you right now, pushing the papers off the desk and looking at you with a grin on his face. Like a cat who knows that's being bad, and it keeps doing it to get your attention. How long can you last? He knows you can't keep it together forever.

But you ignored him and picked the papers off the floor, placing them back on your desk and going back to work like nothing happened.

Why you're being so stubborn? Can't you just give him what he wants and call it a day? That's only making him try harder, like stepping on your feet, and dragging your chair closer, trapping you at the desk. The glares you give him is only making him laugh. "Slap me if you want me to stop."

"Why do you want me to do that?" he shrugged. He just wanted your hands on him, the stingy feeling of your palm pressed against his face. "Don't you have better things to do?" does he look like he haves anything to do at all?

"Here." he said and show you his cheek. "Slap me right here." you shook your head.

Like before, he took your hand in his, pressing it against his skin before slapping it slightly.

"Why do you keep doing this?" he dragged you to the couch, ignoring your protests and throwing himself on it.

"Sit on top of me." you're busy, you have to finish working and he's not letting you do anything at all.

"Make it quick." it was never easy with him. Because if you tell him to do something he'll do the opposite. Like now, he's taking his time with your breasts, sucking and biting them. Playing with the one and then moving on the other. "I don't have time for this, come on." he was always a smile whenever you complained.

He licked you nipple, looking at you right in the eyes as he took extra time to play with it. Sucking on it and making some noises you were embarrassed of. "What are you going to do if I don't?" did he woke up on the wrong side of the bed?

"Do you want me to do it that bad?" he didn't said anything, just moved his eyes away from you and sinking his teeth into your skin, making you gasp.

Still doubting yourself, you slapped him softly, making him let go of you for a moment. He was doing it again, biting you a bit too hard so he could give you a reason to hit him. Honestly, he could be so annoying.

You did it again, gaining more confidence and slapping him once again, and then one more time.

He was all a smile, looking at you with something in his eyes that was too dark to explain. He was clearly thinking of something lewd, and you're afraid he might come up with something more out of pocket than last time. He'll come with a request that will make you question your morality, and why you didn't kicked him out yet.

"Fuck me." seriously, could he stop smiling for a moment. It was distracting you, every time you tried to think rationally he would flash a smile and swipe you off your feet, making you agree with his stupid requests.

And once again, you did as he said, freeing him from his pants and positioning yourself better on him. You'll do it, you have nothing to lose from doing it. And he seems to enjoy it just as much as you, if not more.

You moved your hips slowly, getting used to the feeling on him inside of you and trying to figure out your own pace. But he was a bit too impatient, he kept grabbing your sides to help you move, but it always ended with you slapping his hands away.

"Keep your hands to yourself." your words went to deaf ears, because it didn't stopped him from touching you.

He'll die of boredom by the time you finally move faster. And perhaps he indulged you too much, maybe it was time to take control. Flipping you over, you woke up with your face pressed against the couch, ass in the air and him shoving his cock inside of you.

You can't completely read him yet, he'd always switch in an instant.

He moved in and out of you, at a mean pace, and never fully getting all the way in, leaving a lot of space empty to show you that he can too make you desperate for something.

"Master, we finally cleaned the greenhouse." someone knocked at the door, making you freeze in place.

"Someone's talking to you." Toji whispered in your ear. "Aren't you rude for not replying? How bad of you." you knew your manners.

"I'll go look at it later." you said, hiding your face in the couch because of how embarrassing you were feeling. "Get off." you whispered, trying to make him move.

"You're really going to leave me alone to look at some mediocre greenhouse?" he huffed in your ear, leaving chills down your spine.

"Yes." what a bonekiller. Well, whatever. He could get some fresh air too.

When he let you go, you thought you could finally breath in peace, that was until he started following you around. "This is the greenhouse?" he said, looking at the glass building.

"Apparently, yes." he raised an eyebrow, looking at you and the off answer you just gave him. "I've never seen it before either." and you call yourself the lord of the house? "I'm going in." you said and open the door, being hit with warm air.

"Master, we prepared some tea." that doesn't sound bad at all.

You walked further into the greenhouse, towards a small round table with some cups on it. Toji was still at the door, talking with the clock butler before he came to you.

"You seem to get along with them." you took a sip of your tea.

"They seem to have put their faith in me." he sat down across you, crossing his arms to his chest.

"Who knows." you looked at the flower bed that was surrounding the table. You had no idea you even had flowers like those there.

It was like he knew what you're thinking about, you didn't even needed to tell him. And somehow, he was jealous. Flowers or not, you see them everyday, while in his case you might not see him tomorrow. Shouldn't you want to get more of his attention while he's still there?

A loud bang could be heard coming from Toji's direction, making you look at him instantly. You looked left and right, but he was nowhere to be seen.

"Here." you heard his voice, coming from behind the table. And there he was, laying on the ground, his chair fallen next to him as he doesn't seem bothered by the situation.

"Are you alright?!" you got up in a hurry, getting next to him and trying to help him get up.

He extended a hand, grabbing yours and dragging you down on top of him. The flowers around him didn't make him look any softer, it just made him look out of place. He didn't belong among side flowers, it didn't suited him, especially when he had his typical grin on his face. "Let's continue from where we were." did he really wanted to fuck in there? You looked behind you, searching the area to see if there's anyone else besides you two. "Told your minions to leave." he really came here with nothing but dirty thoughts.

"You scared me for nothing." you sighed, hitting his chest lightly.

"Touch me." he had no shame. "Choke me, slap me." he placed your hand over his cheek, dragging it to his mouth and kissing your palm. "Do as we did before." you still didn't wanted to do it, the thought of hurting him made you want to back down. "I'm telling you I want it." and you'd rather do anything but that.

"Just one more time, alright?" he laughed, your expression way too cute for your own good.

You raised your hand, taking another look at him before closing your eyes and slapping him. He was still laughing, and this time was because of how you're acting.

He placed his hands on your sides, flipping you over so now you're the one pinned down. "You're really trying to get on my nerves, aren't you?" he flipped your dress up, taking out his cock and positioning himself between your legs.

You looked good between flowers, looking up at him with shining eyes and kissable lips. He wanted to bully you until you cry, to show you that you shouldn't trust people that easily. What are you going to do if you meet someone like him? One was more was more than enough, but two? It was like you want to screw yourself over.

This time he decided that he got bored of teasing. Just got straight to the point, pushing his cock inside of you and moving his hips when he got all the way in. He fucks you so much on a daily basis that there was no need for prep work anymore. And that's exactly how he likes it, knowing that you're always ready for him.

He'll miss you, this great pussy you have and the way you look at him. He would like to take you home with him, but you're not his to begin with. You were just like one of those flowers, if he picked it up then you'll start to die away, your natural beauty fading with time.

What should he do, there's so much to do and so little time. There are still places to see and stuff he wants to try.

He took your hand in his, going with it to his neck and squeezing it lightly. "Again?" you said out of breath. All he did was to nod, he just wanted your mark on him. You didn't understood him at all. But he knew exactly what you were feeling, because just when you were about to cum he wrapped his fingers around your neck, showing you just what he wanted from you.

Your mind was blank, you could barely breathe and you were feeling like you were in a complete another space. It was too much, and he only seemed to move his dick inside you faster.

Maybe you're getting it now, why he kept asking for such odd requests.

You weren't doubting him anymore, now indulging him. Biting, sucking and leaving purple marks on his skin, making him fuck you a bit harder than usual.

He liked it, this image in front of him. You splashed out on the ground, clothes still on but looking like they seen better days, eyebrows furrowed and biting your lips to not let out any loud sounds, like the ones your bodies were making weren't enough. Whenever he looked into your eyes all he could remember was that portrait of the beast he saw, looking with something unfamiliar, like he never seen before.

Did you loved him? Because he didn't understood this feeling. Why you looked at him with big doe eyes and why he seemed to want to keep you far away from people.

He made you wrap your arms around him, dragging him closer so he could kiss you, to prove himself that maybe it was all in his head and he's overthinking. But man, the way you take him so well is making him see stars and he's afraid he won't be able to stop until he puts a few couple of loads into you.

You sighed, closing your eyes and moving your head to the side, exposing more of your neck to him. You should be careful, because if you provoke him more he might take just some parts of you home with him.

So he fucked you, more and more. Pushing the tip of his cock against your deepest spot, wanting to go even deeper if he could. Was it wrong of him to say he wanted to become one with you? To be a part of you so you won't have to feel lonely again.

He kissed your cheeks, making you look at him before he kissed your lips, rubbing your clit with his thumb and wanting to see just when exactly do you give up, where your limit point was. Cum around him like you never did before, keep him inside of you forever and tell him that you want him to stay with you for an eternity. Because if you beg him he might change his mind.

But you didn't said a thing, not when you came, not when he filled you up until the sun set and not even he finally took you to your room. Placing you in bed and leaving you alone in there.

It was the next day when you realized what just happened, seeing your servants turning into humans, the curse finally being broken and the bounty hunter nowhere to be seen.

He did came after a beast after all, and since there was no one like that in that place then he had no reason to stay. You could always find another, the sea is full of fish after all. And perhaps, you would do much more better without him.

@vigilentballofpassion

Tagging:

[lucy90712]

Family Christmas- Pedri

A/n: Happy holidays guys. I have a surprise new mini series for new years so get ready

1st December 

The test stared back at me as it laid face down on the bathroom counter while Pedri stood behind me with his arms wrapped around my waist. We have been sort of trying for a baby but not taking it too seriously by tracking my ovulation or anything so I really wasn't expecting to miss my period only 3 months after coming off my birth control. My period was due 5 days ago and I've had no signs that it will be coming any time soon the only usual symptom I've had is a bit of nausea in the mornings and evenings but that's also a symptom of pregnancy. The thought that I could actually be pregnant has me excited and nervous being a mum is a big change in life a change I know I'm ready for I'm just nervous about doing things wrong. 

"Are you ready to find out?" Pedri asked 

"I'm ready" I replied 

"You don't need to be nervous it's it's not positive we'll just try again it doesn't matter ok" he said 

"I know I've just got my hopes up so if it's not positive I'll be a little disappointed" I said 

"And that's ok but let's not think about that right now" he said 

He kissed my cheek then put his hand on the test waiting for me to do the same so we could flip the test together. I took a deep breath and put my hand next to his then we counted down from three and turned the test over. Staring back at us was two distinct lines just as dark as each other so there's no question I'm definitely pregnant. Without me even noticing tears of joy poured from my eyes which Pedri wiped away before pulling me into the tightest hug. This is the best early Christmas present ever and now we can surprise the rest of our family throughout the holidays. 

~~~~~~~~~~

24th December 

Way before we found out I was pregnant we agreed to host Christmas with Pedri's family which at the time was a great idea but now I'm sort of regretting it. There is so much that goes into hosting so I've been exhausted all week because the first trimester is really taking it out of me so coupled with all the extra things I've been doing I can barely keep my eyes open by 9pm. Pedri has helped as much as he can but he's only been off for the last few days so now here we are finishing wrapping presents on Christmas Eve and I still have some food to prep. 

Usually I do most of the work when wrapping presents as if I don't it will look like a toddler wrapped them in the dark as Pedri doesn't exactly have the eye for wrapping. Under my instruction he did most of the work as then I could just sit there and hold the paper while closing my eyes for a few seconds to get some rest. The main thing we needed to wrap was the things we bought to surprise Pedri's family with the news as they don't know yet. We had our first ultrasound just a few days ago so we added some of the pictures to the little onesie we bought that we customised to have the baby's rough due date on. I can't wait to see their faces a when they find out because it's been so hard to keep it a secret from everyone especially when I've been feeling so awful and having to lie and say it's just a regular sickness. 

After we finished wrapping I went to prep some stuff ready to make dinner tomorrow as I don't want to spend all day in the kitchen and not enjoying the festivities. I tried my best to get on with the prep I wanted to do but the smell of the food was making me feel so nauseous I tried to breathe through my mouth or just ignore the smell but I couldn't. Eventually it became too much and I had to run to the bathroom where Pedri quickly joined me to help hold back my hair. To begin with my sickness wasn't too bad but over the last week or so it has definitely got worse there is certain foods that I just can't stomach anymore and the smell of most things makes me nauseous. Once I was feeling better I wanted to go back to the kitchen and finish what I started but Pedri wouldn’t let me he insisted on doing it so I gave him instructions and he did all of it for me. 

Pedri joined me back on the sofa and put on a show for us to watch or for him to watch while I fight to keep my eyes open. As predicted I must've fallen asleep as I was woken up by the squeaky step on the stairs as Pedri carried me up them. When he saw my eyes open he cursed the step before telling me to go back to sleep but I would only do that when he tucked me up in bed and gave me the goodnight kiss I missed out on before. 

~~~~~~~~~~

25th December 

My Christmas morning started out with the most delightful gift of having to run to the bathroom because I woke up feeling overwhelmingly sick. Luckily my hair was already up this time but Pedri still sat by my side and rubbed my back for nothing more than moral support but I appreciate it anyway. He got me a glass of water and helped me up so I could brush my teeth so that we can get on with the days plans. Like the amazing husband he is Pedri made me some toast for breakfast as he knows that’s one of the things I can eat when everything else makes me sick. He also had all my vitamins I'm supposed to take laid out and some water to go with them which so nearly made me cry as all my hormones have had me extra emotional but I managed to hold back. 

We agreed that we weren't going to open any presents until Pedri's family arrived but after we finished eating Pedri handed me a gift and told me to open it. Inside was a little photo album meant to capture every first of a baby's life I flicked through the book to see all the moments we can capture in here then I saw that Pedri has already put the first ultrasound picture in there. That was enough to make me cry I can't wait to fill this book with memories and cry again every time I look at it. 

"Thank you this is the best gift" I said 

"You've already given me the best gift so I had to try and get you something that represents that and I know you love a photo album" he said 

"It's perfect I can't wait to keep adding to it" I said 

We continued to talk about what our lives will look like over the next year and then for the rest of our lives until Pedri's family arrived and I had to hide the photo album quickly. He ran and let them in and helped them with the bags of presents they'd brought with them while I greeted them all as it's been a while since we were all last together as life has been hectic. Rosy complimented my outfit and told me I looked beautiful which really put a smile on my face as I've not felt good about myself since my pregnancy symptoms took over. We all chatted for a little while catching up before I could see Pedri getting impatient and wanting to tell his family already so I suggested we open presents. 

Pedri quickly took over and gave his mum the gift we wrapped yesterday and says it was for all of them so they all gathered round to look at what it was. Seeing the look on their faces as it sunk in made my day. I knew they would all be excited as Pedri's family are all really close but I wasn't expecting the immediate group hug we were both pulled into. I've never heard the word congratulations so many times but it made me happy to know they were so excited as I know our baby will have the best grandparents and uncle. 

"congratulations how far along are you y/n?" Rosy asked 

"I'm just over 8 weeks so not far along but we couldn’t wait to start telling people" I said 

"How have you been feeling?" Fernando asked 

"I've been better but I'm doing ok" I answered 

"She's been quite sick recently and very tired but she's been a trooper and still living like nothings going on" Pedri said 

"The first few few months are tough but it does get better and it's all worth it in the end" Rosy said 

"We can take over everything for today you should be resting and taking care of yourself" Fer offered 

"Oh no I can't have you do that you're supposed to be guests I'm fine really" I said 

"Don't be silly at least let us take over dinner I remember when I was pregnant with the boys the smell of food always set me off" Rosy said 

"Ok but I will make up for it at a later date we will invite you over for dinner and I'll cook for you" I said 

"That sounds lovely" Fernando said 

We opened the rest of the presents we had got for each other but nothing was really able to top the pregnancy surprise we started with. Pedri did get me a little heartbeat reading machine so once the baby is more developed we will be able to listen to their heartbeat at home which I enjoyed. He said he thought about getting this really cute baby onesie he saw but he held back so that we can get the first things together but he did promise to use one of his days off to go baby shopping with me in the new year which at this time in my life is my version of a great day. We also had to joke about the fact that Fer had bought be a nice bottle of wine which of course he wasn't to know was bad timing but it made everyone laugh especially when Pedri said we could pack it in my hospital bag for right after the baby is born. 

Then it was time to start on dinner but I wasn't allowed to lift a finger in fact I wasn't even allowed to get myself a drink of water someone else aways did it for me. I was also periodically fed snacks by Pedri who wanted to make sure I'm getting enough nutrients even when I'm not feeling well. At some point I must've fallen asleep as it was light when I last remember being awake but then it was dark out and very dark out. It was a good nap though as I actually felt refreshed and like I had some energy for once. As I slept for apparently most the afternoon dinner was almost ready so I got up to freshen up as I know I look ridiculous when I've just woken up. I fixed my hair and even put on a bit of makeup which made me look and feel more human which is the most I can ask for at the moment. 

By the time I was ready the table was being set so I tried to help as I've done nothing all day but Pedri steered me away from the kitchen to the table where he pulled out a chair for me and told me to sit down. I wanted to help but he told me that his parents have it all covered so my job is to just sit and look pretty which he said I'm doing a great job of. He gave me a quick kiss before running back to the kitchen to help. It didn't take long before there was a plate of food put in front of me which looked amazing although I had to try not to smell it as it will make me nauseous. The food was lovely much better than anything I could've made but I guess thats what happens when you get chefs to make your Christmas dinner. I ate as much as I could before I started to feel sick which Pedri could definitely tell as he squeezed my hand under the table to check that I was ok. 

The original plan was for everyone to stay and watch a movie after dinner but Pedri's family insisted on leaving us be after cleaning up which again I tried to say wasn't necessary but they insisted on helping out. The house ended up cleaner than it started out so I won't have to clean for a few days which will be nice. 

"Thank you for taking over dinner and cleaning I really appreciate all your help" I said as they were all leaving 

"There's no need to thank us you've done all the hard work preparing for today" Fernando said 

"And if you need anything don't hesitate to reach out even if it's just something small we are all happy to help out" Rosy added 

"Thank you guys we really appreciate all your help" Pedri said 

"Make sure you take care of her bro and you've got to learn to cook now your a father" Fer said 

"I've been trying haven't I love" Pedri said 

"He has and he's definitely getting better I don't have to supervise all the time anymore" I said 

They congratulated us one more time before leaving so it was just me and Pedri. It wasn't late but we decided to just go to bed as it's been a long day. Pedri definitely wasn't tired but I was so he got me to rest my head on his chest as he played with my hair as he knows that always sends me to sleep.

“Good night mi amor I love you and our little baby so much already” Pedri whispered as I was falling asleep

“We both love you too” I whispered back 

[pitruli]

the reverse Aruani comic i was talking about but it's only part of the storyboard and too many thoughts

I just started wanting to picture Annie's version of the ocean dream, except i wrote the outlines at 3AM and it turned into a weird meta thing about the fourth wall somehow. and then i wanted to tell as much as possible with minimal dialogue so i was That close to illustrate all 3 seasons haha,,, I'm stopping here for now so there's only (most of) season 1 there

Just the basic idea of how reverse au Annie would act knowing about the Ocean. I put it less in a weird-forbidden-book and more as something that slipped through the censorship. It's only a mention of it, small enough to be confusing without context. And it was enough to get Annie's curiosity because everything else makes sense in this book. Except this thing. But she couldn't find a single thing about it and now she doesn't know what to think of it. (It manages to inspire Eren because, maybe it's a fictional place, but maybe it's real and that's what the scouts could find outside. so it's kinda a 'i realised we were not free' in a 'we didn't know a single thing' way)

Also jumpscare Trost arc

Trost arc was planned differently at first and i don't remember what it was haha. I just got inspired by one of Mirthle's post later where the trio fleas from the canon shot and tries to prove by themselves Eren is alright. Also thought him saluting as a Titan to prove his loyalty would be cool as hell visually so i did haha. After Trost i was supposed to rush through most of the arcs until i reached late S3. But while drawing i got quite inspired for so many details in the FT arc and HAD to draw it haha.

Silly page, just Because. I also wanted to put 'sneak peak' of the Ocean at different place throughout the comic. So the wall-like vision Annie has of it in the previous pages and there the steam after Armin's attack, that would progressively get more accurate over time. I also started to make my storytelling around her hair more apparent in the last page. Since i made her Coloss design i had the idea her let down hair was a sign she didn't know what was happening anymore after turning a shifter, and i wanted to keep that in the rest of the plot. She had her hair a mess and tied it back once she decided to go a different way

What was planned afterward was the ideas i had with Stella a while ago about Armin's betrayal happening in this arc because it really stuck in my mind. (he would also have made the salute as a sign of surrender. Oh and he talks a bit too.)

And the last page that i has planned right from the begining haha. I'm kinda upset to not have the Return to Shiganshina arc drawn yet cause i really wanna try things out in this one, but i don't have the strengh for it now. maybe i'll add it later tho-

[whorelaud]

im utterly speechless by how perfect this was i have no words literally just in awe 🤯🤯 hes so pathetic its actually sickening i need that icky boy RN!! get in my bed 🛌 but anyways you did soooo well with their dynamics holyyy i was giggling and kicking my feet througjout the whole time i was reading i look like an idiot just smiling at my phone gahhhd.

pervy classemate!rafe who's always been your biggest simp. not only had he always been a simp when it came to you, but he was totally sick and completely depraved. he was the very definition of the word pervert in its most terrible sense. he never missed a single class where you were present because he was completely obsessed with the idea of being close to you, of sharing the same space as you. he loved to hum the air you breathed because your scent was the one that intoxicated him. he was constantly at the back of the class and you were only a few feet away. he was a pathetic gooner who knew he had no chance with popular chicks  like you. your standards were — too fucking high.  you were the kook princess,  too classy, too hot, too perfect, the mean girl out of his league.

oh im sat

he was desperately waiting for you to burst into his line of vision, his hand already stuck in his pants. his locker wasn't far from yours. there were photos of you and accessories belonging to you inside. everything you thought you throw away, he would get it back. he had a huge collection about it.

i need him this obsessed with me

“ want a picture of them, cameron ? ” you said with exasperation. “ because you're never gonna touch them. never in your life so stop watching. ” 

oh shes sick i need her

you were literally taking the saliva he was raining over you, giving no shit at this point.  when he began to move his hips, guiding the pace while fucking your throat, and you let him do as he was driving himself between your lips. a hand was tangled in your hair, getting them messy. your tongue was so soft, the sweetest he ever felt.

he id so pathetic my body levitated off the ground

his lower tummy was twitching, abs flexing deep to the feeling you gave him. a sloppy head  that made him cum so fast, coating your lips with a splash of sperm, as he held the back of your neck, forcing you to gag over the fat length. you were still hot, but messy. your vision was blurred and your face was covered with his drop of white loads, and streams of saliva. mascara was dripping from your eyes, your lipstick was smudging on your cheeks and his cock, your mouth was damping with drool and small bubbles connected to his sticky soaked tip.

i had to put my phone down to process how perfectly described this was

rafe was obsessed. you managed to drive him crazy, to dehumanize him. he had lost control when you added another finger, making it seem like you could fit the whole hand. you were so naughty, but your moans were so sweet. then the way you squirmed as you fingered yourself made him sick and perverted. “ easy pretty, you can't cum before me. ” 

omg shutuouippoo

your cunt was clenching over your fingers, sliding in and out of the wetness that came from your walls. but you continued to push them deeper and deeper to bring you close. you feel your hips lifted up, your legs trembling and you find yourself on your tiptoes as you reach your digits further in your swollen cunt. rafe couldn't help himself, and moved from your place to lick at your pussy when your fingers were still inside you. he was eating you out at , tongue sticking at your drooling slit that he was lapping while golden stars were taking you away from reality. he was so needy, the way his voice was breaking into your pretty cunt. he spreaded your folds way with his tongue, lapping through the needy hole before starting to make sloppy licks. you could feel his heavy nose rubbing against your clit, stroking it gently as he was lapping and stretching your canal. 

OH HELL YEAHHH THERE YOU GO 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

his nose was bleeding against your bud, as a line of the red liquid was trailing over the opening of your cunt making a way to his driving tongue. he was buried inside your whole sucking you to depth with blood foaming under his teeth — so close to bleed into your folds. 

i am dead on the floor

" That i'm gonna use you until i'm tired of you. It's my turn to have fun. But it will stay a secret between us of course. This is my number, and i better find you all submissive when i call you. "

oh im levitating

ain't nobody business // classmate!rafe cameron x mean!popular! reader

summary ; your classmate was too obssessed with you...but you were also too cool to care about him....only at first....

warnings ; 18+ smut plot. verbal violence. oral(f&m receiving). public masturbation. sub!rafe (simp obssessed and loser). nosebleeding so kind of blood. spitting. pervy behavior/needy depraved attitude. light praising. weird obssession. minors dni. be aware of the warnings before reading please.

author's note : none.

pervy classemate!rafe who's always been your biggest simp. not only had he always been a simp when it came to you, but he was totally sick and completely depraved. he was the very definition of the word pervert in its most terrible sense. he never missed a single class where you were present because he was completely obsessed with the idea of being close to you, of sharing the same space as you. he loved to hum the air you breathed because your scent was the one that intoxicated him. he was constantly at the back of the class and you were only a few feet away. he was a pathetic gooner who knew he had no chance with popular chicks  like you. your standards were — too fucking high.  you were the kook princess,  too classy, too hot, too perfect, the mean girl out of his league.

 then, he was never presentable. 

you didn't necessarily notice it because you liked to ignore the existence of your fan. but he was constantly looking at you, his blue eyes glued to every one of your moves. he was like a stalker, watching you from afar in the hallways as you walked through the crowd with your group of friends. you were the prettiest of them all, your hair was always clean and neat, your face soft and made up, your lips covered in gloss and your mouth chewing a bubblegum. you always wore skimpy outfits because it was always horribly hot even inside the school. 

he was desperately waiting for you to burst into his line of vision, his hand already stuck in his pants. his locker wasn't far from yours. there were photos of you and accessories belonging to you inside. everything you thought you throw away, he would get it back. he had a huge collection about it.

he was too freaking weird and lame — kind of the pervy freak your girlfriends make fun of it.  the kind of losers that upset you and made you roll your eyes when he was staring or talking to you. the kind of idiots that was always in your fucking way instead of getting lost somewhere you didn't care. 

but despite your mean and cold attitude toward him, rafe was always so eager to see you. 

out of the pathetic man he was, rafe cameron was big. even when his dick was limp in his boxer, a fat bulge was outlining the fabric of his underwear. when you were in the same room as him, he always felt the need to palm himself, literally stroking his aching cock through his pants as you took a seat. it was crazy because your back was only shown to him but his dick was already growing in his grip, the veins of his length bulging thick against his touch. 

he was getting harder every time he heard your chuckles.  and god,when you wrapped that pen between your glossy lips, he just wanted to force his fat dick against the gap of your mouth, watching you struggle to take him with those pretty eyes of yours rolling in the back until he’s crying and his tip leaking on your favorite lipstick. the way you swirl your tongue around the hood, leaving a trickle of drool webbing from your lips to the pen while you pretended to think, sweet moans escaping your lips as you fixed your mini skirt was too much for him. 

you were such a bitch. 

you probably didn't know it, and it was one of his many dirty secrets, but he had a sex doll in his room that looked exactly like you and that he fucked every time he came home. he was a premature ejaculator but above all compulsive. you could be sure that this doll was fucked ten times in a row until he was out of breath, sweaty and stinking, until his hair and sheets were drenched in sweat and juices with his muscles drained and body shaking under painfully spasms. when he had to jerk off, he didn't need to go to pornsites, he just needed to open your insta page. and it was even better when you posted stories because you were always half naked in them. he masturbated until his screen was covered in hot and thick spurts, his liquid hiding your face.

he was such a dreamer and you were such a fantasy. 

one time, you were in physics class in this lab-like class and you were across from him. he spent the whole time looking at your cleavage. his eyes were deep down on your boobs.  but he was also suffered from  a  painful boner that you were aware about, but was ironically under your control.  

“ want a picture of them, cameron ? ” you said with exasperation. “ because you're never gonna touch them. never in your life so stop watching. ” 

he knew it. losers like him didn't stand a chance with girls like you and that was what made him even hornier. 

sick.

the slightest contact with you was enough to ignite him. and telling him that he had no chance of touching you or going out with you made his cock bigger. 

" god, you're pathetic. ” you muttered before sitting next to him.  “did you pee your pants ? you've got a stain. ” you whispered in his ear. “ i know what you are, cameron.” 

but you were in a good mood today, so you wrote on a paper. 

— meet me in the girls' bathroom upstairs. (I know how much you love this place. I'm even sure you have lots of photos of me in the cabins.)

you kissed him on the cheek. as you were looking down on him, he just gasped while swallowing hard as you were laughing out loud with your girlfriends.

you were waiting for him  in the bathroom after class. it didn't take long for him to arrive. you had locked both of you in a cabin. he barely had time to open his mouth when you were already pulling down his pants to give him a blowjob. 

his boxer was wet and covered with dried cum. it was so gross and god so disgusting. you couldn't believe yourself that you were about to do this.

“are yo..." 

“Be quiet, Cameron. or i might kill you. ”

“ Please, you turn me on. ” he pleaded with a hard breath. 

his dick was fat and hard, literally twitching under your touch as you tried to not think too much. he was already whimpering like a crybaby when you hadn't even touched him yet.

he was in heaven. you were like a goddess for him. 

“ You really don't deserve me. and not even what i'm going to do to you. So you better not  screw that moment because it's gonna be the  first and last time a girl gonna ever touch you in your shitty life. ” 

as soon as you touched it, his stomach clenched. you were so kind to do that for him. you only thought of yourself. your fingers moved speed around his shaft while his balls slapped against his muscular thighs in motion. he was hard since this morning, so it was hurting him so bad, to the point he was terribly miserable and unsteady, just waiting for your touch since he watched you this morning in the hallways. 

he was shaky and breathy, drooling and moaning like a slut. and it was also ironic too because you were supposed to be the whore in general. but rafe cameron was one of the biggest bitch you ever seen. 

he was a kook but he was so shitty. 

“ i said be quiet. ” you ordered with a firm voice, tired of his whines. “ since you struggle to listen to me, i'm gonna put this in your mouth. better hold it tight with your teeth because if i hear another sound from you, i gonna take those high heels that you love to see me with and step on your dick with it. understand ? yea, i can give you real reasons to be noisy.  " 

you took off your underwear to stuff it in his mouth. you had hooked it tightly enough behind his head to keep him from dropping it. 

when you wrapped your mouth around his cock, you felt him shudder as you began to suck him gently. you moved your mouth as far as possible until you felt his girth at the back of your throat.  you had pushed your mouth to take all his inches, making in it fit between your lips. you were now full stuffed with his cock that was throatfucking you senseless. 

you were licking and sucking, giving him the blowjob of his life. he started to foaming at the mouth over your panties, his drool dripping from his chin to the raging dick that filled you. 

you were literally taking the saliva he was raining over you, giving no shit at this point.  when he began to move his hips, guiding the pace while fucking your throat, and you let him do as he was driving himself between your lips. a hand was tangled in your hair, getting them messy. your tongue was so soft, the sweetest he ever felt.

his lower tummy was twitching, abs flexing deep to the feeling you gave him. a sloppy head  that made him cum so fast, coating your lips with a splash of sperm, as he held the back of your neck, forcing you to gag over the fat length. you were still hot, but messy. your vision was blurred and your face was covered with his drop of white loads, and streams of saliva. mascara was dripping from your eyes, your lipstick was smudging on your cheeks and his cock, your mouth was damping with drool and small bubbles connected to his sticky soaked tip.

you sucked him again and he came five minutes later inside your throat. after that, he had stuck two fingers down your mouth. it was as if the roles had reversed for a moment because you were now his whore. 

he had started to thrust in and out, free-using your cavity while you took his fingers deep in your mouth. they were big and wet, making you gurgle terribly. his digits felt even more thicker inside you. he was brushing them against your tongue, forcing you to take them and lick them until they were nice and clean.

 

when he was satisfied, you had collected your panties, getting ready to leave. “please, die now. it's so embarrassing for me. ” you looked down and your eyes widened. “i don't mean that to see you being even bigger, cameron. you're such a trash. ”

“ please, can i touch you ? ” he was whimpering to your ears. 

“ think you deserve it ? ” you answered. “ because no, you can't. ”

he was under you, his grip so weak around your naked thigh, while he was pleading under his breath.  

he was staring at you with desperate eyes  that you agreed. “ but you're not gonna touch me. you're gonna watch only. you understand ? ”

he nodded, before getting on his knees. you took a seat in the cabin, and spread your legs, skirt on your knuckles. his hand was already on his cock, the tip leaking on the floor, as you opened your thighs wider to watch him losing his mind fully on the sight of your gleaming pussy. 

you hate yourself for being so soaked that wetness was running down your skin. rafe was now jerking himself off, his heavy and shaky breathing escaping his lips. you had brought fingers against your pussy after having moistened them then you had started to play with your lower lips with your hand before starting to caress yourself. your legs were feverish because you had already shoved three fingers inside  you. 

rafe was obsessed. you managed to drive him crazy, to dehumanize him. he had lost control when you added another finger, making it seem like you could fit the whole hand. you were so naughty, but your moans were so sweet. then the way you squirmed as you fingered yourself made him sick and perverted. “ easy pretty, you can't cum before me. ” 

but he couldn't take it anymore, he had soaked his hands from touching himself so much while he watched you fucked yourself with your fingers. “ c-can…i cum..please…” he was breathless, mouth running like a pup, eyes filled with tears as his hands were trembling over his throbbing dick. “ n-need…it…! ”

“ it's all you got, baby ? i'm disappointed. looks like someone doesn't really want to cum…” you teased, still playing with your insides. 

he knew he was stupid but you made him even dumber. when it came to you, he had nothing in his head, no self-esteem, no dignity. your fingers worked hard in your insides. the wet sounds of your digits going back and forth in your plushy canal as he was stroking himself harder. his fingers were in rhythm with yours, matching the way they were moving in your pussy. 

you were like a movie star. a fucking porn star. the one he's dreamed about in the dark of his room.

your cunt was clenching over your fingers, sliding in and out of the wetness that came from your walls. but you continued to push them deeper and deeper to bring you close. you feel your hips lifted up, your legs trembling and you find yourself on your tiptoes as you reach your digits further in your swollen cunt. rafe couldn't help himself, and moved from your place to lick at your pussy when your fingers were still inside you. he was eating you out at , tongue sticking at your drooling slit that he was lapping while golden stars were taking you away from reality. he was so needy, the way his voice was breaking into your pretty cunt. he spreaded your folds way with his tongue, lapping through the needy hole before starting to make sloppy licks. you could feel his heavy nose rubbing against your clit, stroking it gently as he was lapping and stretching your canal. 

you had to admit, he was good and if you didn't have so much ego you would let him know. but instead, you let him continue, the weight of his tongue shoving inside you, forcing you to squirm as he tickled your sensitive bud with his face. he was thrusting in and out, letting you leak your juices on his chin.

he was so deep in the thing, twirling his tongue to feel all your insides, driving his mouth so deep that he could not miss the spot, hanging his jaw open to let your wetness drip down his chin. 

he was about to pass out, living the dream of his life with you. the way your pulsing clit was rushing into his fat nose making him nuzzle stronger , slow back and forth to messy rubs. all your pussy was now so tough on him, stroking him harder, forcing him to gasp and wimps. you didn't make it stop because you were too selfish to care about what he felt. 

his mouth was working on your slit, as your clit was still evilly running the sensitive spot of his nose, getting it all wet and red until you heard a small crack from the pressure. his nose was now bleeding but that didn't stop him from pleasuring you. he was still eating at your cunt, metallic taste added to the sweet of your hole. after a wild minute, his entire face was coated with blood and seeds as he cried harder, his hands tugging the skin of your hips. 

his nose was bleeding against your bud, as a line of the red liquid was trailing over the opening of your cunt making a way to his driving tongue. he was buried inside your whole sucking you to depth with blood foaming under his teeth — so close to bleed into your folds. 

when you exploded, his tongue still fucking you, he had been so quick to swallow it all.

“ it's not gonna happen twice…” you muttered, still a little dizzy.  “And if you tell anyone, I’ll find you and kill you. And please, take a fucking shower,  Cameron. ”

“ It's Rafe. ” 

“ I know your name. I just don't care about it. ” you replied with a sigh. “ Now, i'm leaving. Stop, gooning yourself. It's so gross. ”

You began to walk away but you wanted to add something more. 

“ Did you understand ? Nod your head…”

You smiled when he obeyed. 

“Good boy, aren’t you Rafe ? ” you replied while gently slapping his heated cheek, before squeezing both of them between your fingers.  “ You definitely are.” you said, watching his face blushing under your touch. 

“ Y-y-es…” 

“ So you will do anything for me…? ” You asked with a smile on your lips. 

He nodded again.

 Anything you wanted. Absolutely anything. 

“ Fine…i'm gonna give you what you want. ”

“ What do you mean ? ”

“ That i'm gonna use you until i'm tired of you. It's my turn to have fun. But it will stay a secret between us of course. This is my number, and i better find you all submissive when i call you. ” 

[sysig]

maybe you should doodle however many or few starcon/helix/damned characters as you like (in human or alien form) in cute halloween costumes! imagine... ZEX dressed up as Ariel thelittlemermaid...

Day 26 - "I hadn't realized humans also had aquatic subcultures!" "Oh, well, uhm..."

[phoenixcatch7]

Why can't we have a batman is the spirit of Gotham au?

He already is, in meta, in character, in theming. Him and the joker. He is so very built upon what Gotham is made of, and Gotham builds from what he needs in turn, the setting of his story.

What if that is the reason he can take damage that would permanently ruin a physical career and come back? What if that's how he's managed to maintain his no-kill streak to such an extent? What if that's how he manages to maintain such high maintenance and all consuming identities?

For the heart and soul of a city containing all extremes, the richest nobility and the lowest of the poor, the cruellest villains and the most compassionate heroes, orphaned children and ancient lineages, a city rooted in fear and madness and grit-teeth determination and hard won kindness, what better choice could you find than Bruce Wayne?

But what if he wasn't alone in that? What if Gotham has sunk to such a low because its spirit is damaged and corrupted?

For the heart and soul of the cruellest city in the dc universe, the most unrelenting and uncaring, the one that practically laughs at your pain and suffering as you try to make it through another day, what better choice than the Joker?

[deamare]

♡ ˚·   @anruraiocht asked:

[ 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐞𝐥 ] : unable to handle their fondness towards receiver, the sender lashes out and they end up in a heated argument. ( ehehe )

Ishtar stands stock still, paralyzed with wrists still stretched between iron bars and palm held open. It's empty now, carefully wrapped remnants of her untouched dinner knocked from it onto the floor. She is frozen as though she expects to be scolded, even though the only person here to do so is a girl covered in filth and bound at the ankles.

"I thought..." Mother had taught her that people would weep to receive gifts from her one day, that there would only ever be gratitude for the Goddess of Thunder.

But this girl shows none, her face contorted in an anger so raw that Ishtar cannot bear to look at it. She thinks first that she should be angry-- that is what she has been taught to be when disrespected by someone labeled as lesser-- but then that feels wrong. What was it that made this girl lesser? The cage that she had been shoved in? The kingdom that she had been stripped of? The blood of her father still drying on his throne? All done in the name of Ishtar's own.

She steps shakily back, distantly aware that she should not be here any longer than she has to, and yet she finds she cannot bring herself to run. "I was trying to help, I-"

It hits her then that to help would be to restore what has been taken, to free her from this prison built within her own home. To help would have been to never allow this to have happened at all.

Footsteps echo from further down the corridor and her time for useless apologies has met its end. There is evidence of her disobedience plainly strewn across the floor of the girl's cell, and with one glance Ishtar knows that her fate rests in the hands of the other.

As the cell disappears behind her, she thinks that perhaps it is only fair. If she is to be punished, let it be at her discretion.

And the next time that Ishtar sneaks away in search of Miranda of House Ulster, she is nowhere to be found.

[airenyah]

Sex scenes don't bother me as much as kiss scenes. When the characters are making out in a way that indicates it will lead to sex, I'd scream at the screen "Just take off your pants and start grinding under the covers already!" because I cannot watch them mash their mouths together for another second.

That being said, I'm not a huge fan of sex scenes because firstly—I can't take the movements seriously, and if there's sound effects, there's also a high chance of me laughing. Secondly, the squishiness of the human body is another thing I can't take seriously. When I first watched the Only Friends trailer, and I saw that scene where Sand thumbs Ray's tattoo, I thought it was a butt tattoo because of the way the skin bounced in slow-motion, but no, it's actually a hip tattoo; the human skin is just that springy on every part of the body. While everyone was going crazy because of the tattoo-touch, I'm laughing because the bounce was so pronounced.

Basically, kiss scenes ick me out while sex scenes are comedy.

omg that sounds like such a fun way to experience sex scenes tho!! i wish my reaction was more like that rather than convulsion. i'd much rather experience a comedy show tbh dfjkkdgj

also interesting point you bring up about the human body being so squishy. i never really thought about it but yeah. human bodies are just so weird?????? actually, only the other week i was talking with another friend (who's likely also ace-spec) about just how humans (and tbh even animals) will just have things dangling from them?? whether it be genitalia or boobs or whatever. like, those body parts are just... hanging there?? and technically even your arms but at least you can control those. meanwhile my boobs will just bounce depening on what movements i make and i can't control them and they're just hanging from my chest while i go about my life. like, why?? i want dog boobs where you mostly have just the nipples and they only really get big when i have an actual child to feed (i know human breasts also swell when they fill with milk during a pregnancy, but why do i have to have two balls of meat hanging from my chest even when i'm not pregnant?? who thought of this design??). coming back to your point of the human body being so squishy and actually yeah, i'm realizing now that i can't take it seriously when people talk about how hot boobs are precicely because boobs are so squishy and also so wobbly and just. how is this not funny to people? dkdfjdjfk

and lmao i remember everyone going crazy over the tattoo!!!!! i realized right away that it's on the hip but maybe that was bc i remembered the placement of it from the eclipse. which is also why that scene didn't make me laugh, i was actually too busy trying to read what it said bc in the eclipse we never got to see that tattoo up close enough in order to be able to read it. so while everyone was freaking out i was just sitting in my corner like "omg so the tattoo says 'beautiful'???" i'd been wondering about it for a year ever since the eclipse, so i was just excited to finally know what it says bc i'm a nosy ass bitch lmao

anyway, i love hearing about your experiences. it's so fascinating how varied the ace experience can be and how specific things affect everyone differently. and i think it's also cool to hear what things other ace people pick up/focus on while the allosexuals are busy drooling over whatever is happening on screen dkjkdkjg

the kissing... idk, i can't tell you why it doesn't actually bother me that much or why i might even enjoy it. although i do have to say, the act of kissing does look extremely weird. sometimes (usually during longer kiss/make-out scenes) i'll be sitting there and suddenly it'll hit me that "actually kissing looks SO strange, whose idea was it for kissing to be a thing??"

sometimes in my head the kissing just conjurs up the image of a fish opening and closing it's mouth, like so:

except, you know, kissing involves two people so in reality it's more like:

[pearlymel]

"Do i look like i can work right now?"

Summery : he's needy for you and he's not afraid to show it <3

wc : 2k

Warnings : NSFW, fem!reader, ōral (f! recieving), bit of dry humping, making out, protected sex. Petnames used (honey, love, sweetheart.) No plot.

He was so done for.

Zayne exhaled shakily against your neck, his hands squeezing firmly at the dip of your waist for stability. He sounded needy, he looked needy, it's taking everything in him to not rip your nightgown off.

"You should be resting, but you occupy my every thought." He uttered in a hushed tone, but made no real effort to take you off his lap, instead pulling you even closer using his knee and burying his face on your chest.

"You're practically latched on me, Zayne." The words just rolled off your tongue it was almost infuriating.

Zayne wrapped one arm around your hips, keeping you firmly on his lap as the chair kept rocking back and forth with your combined weight. His other hand traveled up your back, up to your shoulder and neck, pulling you further down so he could nip at your collarbone with a sharp canine.

"You're one to talk, sweetheart. You're not being very cooperative with being treated properly, always gambling your life away—" he sounded frustrated, the last few words coming out in a low grumble.

You ignore his words, instead bringing your hand to playfully pinch at his earlobe before whispering, "is this how you usually treat your patients, doctor?"

"This is..." Unprofessional, he almost said, he knew well there wasn't anything professional about how he was acting with you at the moment. "...An exception."

He then continued to litter your skin with open-mouthed kisses, his hand trailing up to find your nape, tangling his fingers into your hair, playing with the textured strands.

"Is it because I'm that special someone?"

You really have no idea what kind of effect you had on him. Zayne's teeth grazed against your pulse point lightly, his tongue darting out for a brief taste of your skin. He would be lying if he said that he wasn't very affected by you.

"My special someone," he murmured, and can't help the low gasp that escapes his throat when you start rolling your hips against his, feeling himself going dizzy.

"M-my love," he protested weakly, a visible growing tent forming in his bathrobe, making it harder for him to stop himself from pulling you harder against his lap.

He grabbed you by the thighs and leaned back into the backrest, giving you less space to move but a better angle to straddle him instead. "Don't stop," you whisper next to his ear while you try to continue pushing yourself further into him that he had to suppress a moan.

Zayne was sensitive man, being pent up most of the time, so touch straved. "You're a terrible patient, you know that? Insatiable." He managed to get out.

"I'm a different kind of patient," you hum, trailing your fingertips along his visible bare skin of his chest.

He was going to combust if you didn't stop touching him like that.

"You're dangerous." he almost whimpered, his hands moving back to grip your hips, as if to steady them on his lap, but it took every ounce of his willpower not to grind them against his crotch.

God was he done, Zayne finally wrapped a hand around the back of your neck and pulled you back down for a crushing kiss. It was less of a kiss and more of a possessive mark, hungry and rough.

He wanted you, needed you, he couldn't get enough of you. His tongue delved into your mouth with a greedy swipe, tasting you, as if he was drowning in you and the only thing keeping him alive was your kiss alone.

His breathing grew erratic as his hands slid down from your hips, grabbing the backs of your thighs and squeezing at the flesh, pressing you more firmly against his lap so his obvious hardened cock was rubbing between your legs.

Your sounds were unforgettable, Zayne could never forget them, the gasps and small whimpers of pleasure. He was already gone.

"Goddamn it..." he cursed hoarsely against your mouth, his hands clenching tighter under your thighs, guiding your motions on his lap before bucking up roughly, letting out a quiet groan of his own in the process.

"such a foul mouth, doctor,"

"Don't push it," he grumbled, lifting you up to his waist, "Push it?" You ask while wrapping your arms around his neck as he walked you to his room, and upon the realization, tap on his shoulder, "wasn't i supposed to rest—"

"That doesn't mean you can't rest after, does it?" he responded, moving over to the edge of the bed before slowly lowering you down onto the sheets, his body caging you in between his arms and legs, his form hovering over you.

He wasted no time sliding his hand underneath your silky nightgown to feel your skin, pulling the fabric above your head, guiding your arms up.

Zayne was a weak, weak man. Weak for seeing you like this, glossy eyes, lips slightly swollen from his kiss and the way your chest rose and fell heavily with every breath. Just being able to see you like this alone was a privilege.

He let his hands roam over the curve of your stomach, "so pretty," he muttered, his eyes raking over your form.

He leaned down to graze your neck with a trail of open-mouthed kisses, his lips lingering and nipping the skin, he then slowly traveled down your collarbone and to the valley of your chest, his fingers fiddling with the clasp of your bra the entire time.

"Lift your hips." he commanded quietly, sending a shiver down your spine and heat pooling down as you obliged to his words.

The last thing on you, and Zayne was pulling the fabric out from underneath you, throwing the bra somewhere on the floor, his eyes dark as he raked his gaze over your soft mounds, "I'm never getting tired of this view." he whispered breathlessly, Upon holding your wrists down and claiming your lips again, it was impossible to not be sent into the next cardiac arrest.

Well good think your doctor is always here to tend to you.

"I've.. missed you,"

How was he supposed to hold back when you sounded like that? Your voice coming out in a low, needy whisper that drove him over the edge.

"You need me." he groaned, releasing your wrists so both his hands could run down your sides, hooking his fingers into the waistband of your panties before giving the fabric a tug. He reached over, grabbing one of your legs and hooking your knee over his shoulder before pressing a gentle kiss on the inside of your knee, He continued to make a trail kisses up your thigh until he reached right infront of your wet folds.

Zayne looked up when your hand came in contact with his hair while letting out a shuddering breath and a whisper of his name, your gazes heated as he moved his head further down to your core, using one hand to keep your thigh pinned over his shoulder before his eyes fixated on your clit, leaning down to kiss it.

You gasp. His tongue flicked out, tasting you, before he began to suck on your clit, his fingers trailing up to play with your hardened nipples, rolling and pinching them gently with his thumb and forefinger. He hummed when you start squirming, his tongue skillfully flicking and rolling around the bundle of nerves, Zayne didn't stop at just your clit, though.

He trailed his tongue lower, teasing your entrance, and you couldn't help but tug at his hair, hips coming to slowly grind against his face. "Stay still, you're doing well," he praised, his voice low and soft, you best know he's trying so hard not to rut against the mattress from how achy he felt. His tongue sliding in and out, coating it with your arousal. You could feel yourself getting closer, the pressure building up inside you.

And you think you might pass out when he starts sucking down. It was hard to stay still when you're so close to orgasm, that it was making your head blank, eyes half-lidded and heavy breaths coming out of your lips as you arch your back when you taste the sweet pleasure of your release.

Zayne lifted his head from between your legs, licking his lips appreciatively and giving your stomach a few fluttering kisses. "You okay there, honey?" He asked in a low, hoarse voice as he watched how your eyes were still half lidded, and how your draped your arm over your face.

You only nod in return, letting out a low "Mhm,"

He couldn't wait until he was on his knees positioned between your legs, throwing his bathrobe off from his body before reaching down to his painfully hard cock, stroking once, twice, and he had to stop himself because he could most definitely jerk off just by looking at your face, especially when you're naked like this.

Zayne swallowed thickly, shaking his head to himself from any other thoughts before reaching over to the nightstand and grabbing a condom, tearing it between his teeth then rolling it on himself, making sure it was on securely before moving between your legs.

He pressed the head of his cock against your entrance, staring into your eyes, waiting for you to give him the go-ahead. You nodded, your eyes still heavy with need, and he slowly pushed into you, his cock filling you up inch by inch.

Your jaw hanged, your body adjusting to him, your walls gripping his shaft. He continued to thrust in slowly, "you're the only thing..." He panted breathlessly into your neck, "the only thing i need in my life—" and he continued to rock against you with his thrusts slow and deep.

Zayne was taking his time now, slowly and with intent, he wanted to show you how much this moment means to him, how much you mean to him, how everytime you both have sex, it would feel like the first time every single time.

He lifted his head so that he could look at your face more clearly, his hands running over your sides, tracing the curves and the softness of your body, his fingers touching your skin as if to burn the feel of you into his memory.

His hand then trailed to your left wrist, taking your hand into his to interlace your fingers together, while his thumb brushed over the empty spot on your ring finger.

He internally cursed at himself for not getting you that ring he saw when he was on the way to the hospital. The beautiful gem resting on the window display, calling for him even.

Why didn't he just get it so he could make sure no one would ever look your way when they get the hint of the shiny ring sitting at your left ring finger?

Zayne then picked up the pace, his thrusts becoming harder and faster, your voice growing louder, accompanied by his frustrated grunts.

He could feel himself getting close, his thrusts becoming more erratic, "Come on, my love," he urged you desperately, "a-ah, Zayne—!" With a loud moan, you came, your body shaking and your legs convulsing around his waist.

He followed right after, slamming deep into you, his cock pulsing as he came, filling the condom with his hot seed. He held you close, both of your breathings heavy, taking a moment to hold you both close before slowly pulling out to dispose of the condom.

"Still have enough energy for cuddles?"

"Mm, I'd want nothing more than cuddles right now."

A smile formed on his face at your words, gently shifting himself back on the bed so that he was beside you, pulling you into his arms.

He wrapped his arms around you, and he let out a content sigh, his fingers tracing idle patterns on your skin, his head in the crook of your neck again, inhaling the scent of you, and he realized that he could stay like this forever. "Just a bit more before i clean both of us up.."