#thought on this for a while and couldn't find an idea i liked for it better

[livelaughloveluffy]

be mine - a valentine's day special with the monster trio, ace, and law!!!

a/n: happy valentines day everyone!!! i figured since the only valentine i have in my life are all my lovely fictional men, i would write only the fluffiest of headcanons for you guys!!

nothing but fluff here 💗

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monkey d. luffy

-valentine's day morning you get woken up to luffy jumping on top of you, smothering you in kisses. he's so excited to give you the small presents he got for you (a hand-picked bouquet, a locket with his initials that nami helped him pick out, and of course, lots and lots of chocolate).

-while the captain isn't the biggest romantic in the world, he definitely had an idea of how he wanted to spend the day with you. and with some help from the crew, he was able to make it a reality. luffy excitedly led you towards nami's tangerine trees, where you spotted the cutest picnic overlooking the ocean. the two of you spend the day basking in the sun, feeding each other chocolate and other sweet treats, utterly intertwined with one another.

-quality time and physical touch are luffy's main love languages so he's expectedly clingy to you all day, not that you mind. endless cuddles are just a given. every once and a while you'll get lulled to sleep as luffy gently plays with your hair, leaving gentle but sloppy kisses on your collarbones.

roronoa zoro

-as much as he puts on the front of being a moody, uncaring guy, you know zoro has the softest place in his heart for you. but for valentines day, he at first treats it like just another day. no mention of it, almost as if he forgot.

-by early evening, it's hard to not get your feelings just a little bit hurt over the fact that zoro forgot valentines day. as you stand at the taffrail overlooking the vast ocean, you feel zoro's hand against the smalls of your back, his chin resting on your shoulder as he mumbles "c'mere... you really didn't think i forgot, did you?" as he leads you into the kitchen on the thousand sunny. opening the door to a candlelit dinner made up for two, and as your eyes well up in tears with shock, zoro places a gentle kiss on your cheek "happy valentines day"

-you couldn't help but swoon when you found out the swordsman had actually been taking private cooking lessons with sanji for months preparing for this surprise. the chef initially deemed the man to be utterly hopeless and offered to cook for the two of you, but zoro insisted he learned and did it himself.

black leg sanji

-it's literally no surprise at all that this man is a certified lover boy. you'll wake up to a room full of flowers, a love letter on your nightstand, and sanji hand-delivering his freshly made breakfast in bed for you.

-he makes the entire day about you and his devotion to you. you are utterly pampered. all meals eaten on the prettiest bedside tray, with a special place setting and flower decor. you have to practically beg the man to feed yourself, because he insisted that even lifting a spoon or fork was too much for you to do. he'll set up a candle-lit bubble bath for you in the evening and stay in the bathroom with you to massage your back and scrub your hair.

-and of course, sanji makes only the most extravagant dessert for you. you can tell the countless hours he spent in the kitchen, perfecting his recipe. and while he tries to stifle his yawns, you have to pull the hopless cook into bed with you. thanking him for everything he did, as you find your way into his arms, gentle brushing his bangs out of his face before you both eventually fall asleep together.

portgas d. ace

-ace is definitely the most casual out of all the boys about valentines day, however that doesn't mean its because of a lack of thought or effort into the day.

-the feeling of ace's large warm hand against your cheek as he leans in to give you a kiss on the forehead, the soft whisper of "happy valentines day, baby." reaches your ears. the two of you collectively agree that you'd both rather just spend the day cuddled up together. no view or restaurant would ever be more comfortable than ace's bare chest. his hand softly running up and down your back, occasionally tracing shapes and patterns into your skin.

-even though you mutually agreed to keep things casual, ace surprised you with the cutest gift he had been holding on to for you. a large bouquet of your favorite flowers, as well as a matching pair to his signature necklace and bracelet.

trafalgar water d. law

-like zoro, as much as law tries to downplay his affection for you, his sweet affection for you consistently shines through all his many actions.

-the captain of the heart pirates led you to believe that he was swamped with work on valentines day, and didn't have time for you, though he promised to celebrate over the weekend with you. so when you returned to your room to the largest bouquet of roses placed on your bed alongside your favorite candy, your heart skipped a beat. instead he had been busy planning a spa day for you. a warm bubble bath with flower petals scattered in it, handmade face masks, and of course, law, ready to pamper you.

-as the two of you are getting ready for bed, law hands you a thin notebook. it's only after reading it that you discover it's a long love letter he's been writing to you since the two of you had started dating. he'll try and brush off the gesture, his gruff voice interrupting your thanks with a grumbled "it's nothing..." as happy tears fall down your cheeks.

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tags ♡: @dindjarins1ut @chibinasuu @twiishaa @vamphoria @3v37773 @thepotatocatto @irethepotato @peachycat17 @dreamcastgirl99 @acesdiary @sanji-soup @lilypadmomentum @ermbehindyou @erose-0707 @suga-tofu @kcch-ns @hamhamhamtaro @adamsfanficstash @raddelusionaldive @sparkyvibes @certain-tragedies @roronoazoroswife @chillerkiller @teewon @sharycatx3 @phoehav @gracefulcargo51 @moonpri @thissaintjessi @sunshineagony

want to join the taglist? click here!!

enjoyed this fic? here's my masterlist!!

[sourco0kie]

https://www.tumblr.com/sourco0kie/775427187568525312/self-aware-au?source=share

Hey loved this and found it so interesting...and got an idea for a whole self aware au...possibly could be a series if you find it fun enough to write...already love what you did with this first writing and defiantly wanna see it in action and your take on this:

Self aware au...cowardly y/n. Just imagine a y/n who gets sucked into the game and is so nervous about the story because of the fights, rivalries, and etc...like they know the story of cookie run so they are TERRIFIED at first when they first enter the world...maybe nervous at first when the cookies become self aware but scared when actually in the world as themselves but a cookie form...just a powerless cookie!

Cue them getting dragged through story, thinking they are gonna die...but here is twist, especially because of this writing I really liked: the cookies adore them! So every time they think they are about to die or get caught in the crossfire? Nope, they are perfectly safe and loved! Can't wait to see all the hilarious senarios of y/n panicking and thinking 'this isn't gonna end well for me' only to be immediately proven wrong via y/n being protected, comforted, or whatever you want lol!

AAAA I LOVE THIS IDEA!

Ideas are exploding in my head!

Self Aware Au

W/cowardly!Reader

You don't know how but you have been sucked into the game. At first you just wanna relax on the couch then suddenly, poof, you're in the game.

The first to meet you was the team. They saved you from a couple of cake hounds and cake wolves. You introduce yourself to them and oh what a wrong move.

Gingerbrave was instantly all over you, fawning on about you and finally excited to meet you. Both Pure Vanilla Cookie and Wizard Cookie were questioning how you got here.

That aside, Gingerbrave insists on having you travel with them. At first you don't agree, saying you rather not, already knowing what will happen next with all the spoiler episodes you watched. Wizard Cookie agrees with you until Gingerbrave literally begged for you to come.

Geez just like how you begged for new cookies to come home in your gacha.

You gave in and went with their adventure, honestly all the time traveling you felt bad. Not having the skill to do.. anything. They would reassure you every time, "It's okay.. [Name] Cookie. Just getting to know you along the way was a gift."

Gift? Okay Pure Vanilla..

Finally all of you arrived at the place, Beast-Yeast. Being there somehow gives you the chills, the crawling feelings of being watched.

You all met Elder Faerie Cookie. Soon White Lily Cookie. You both introduce yourself, luckily (or unluckily which ever you wanna see it) she doesn't seem to recognize you from outside the screen.

It's all great, until you meet him. Oh how the presence just makes you wanna coward back and run. Hide away from everything. Not to mention you can't do anything. And he can do anything he wants.

"Oh. I see I have quite an audience here! I am SO terribly sorry to have kept you waiting!!"

You froze, you can't move even as your mind screams at you to run. It wasn't scary when you passed this episode.. why is it now? Why do you feel fear now? Is it because you couldn't do anything, like closing the game?

"But now... The wait is over!"

Move your body, run! Anything!

"Your favorite trickster is here!

The sharp stares of his eyes, lands directly at you. Your body shakes. You know what will happen! You know what's next! But why are you still afraid? You expected this long ago!..

Oh what some silly thoughts!

Gingerbrave put a stance between you and the beast. He seems as scared as you are but.. he's determined enough to protect you. They all did.

The faerie kingdom fell into deceit, playing lies and truth like a game for fun. Shadow Milk Cookie returns once in a while to tell the stories Elder Faerie Cookie told them. But different.

It goes like you expected so you wouldn't fall for his lies easily. In one of the plays he described you. The divine, watching over them, Oh they were saddened when the five original power holders fell and sealed away.

No you were not.

At the end you watched as the team defeated the trickster. After he tried to swoop you away from them.

You watched both Pure Vanilla Cookie and White Lily Cookie exchange. Now you don't know where to go. You're lost without a home or anything. But they, accept you into The team with open arms. You have no choice either way, as you follow them to the next adventure.

[leonastarry]

{ 16 } Troublemaker ✧. ┊    s.jinwoo x fem!reader

Jinwoo never thought he would encounter a day like today.

He had fought countless monsters, faced the strongest avengers, and even stood on the edge of life and death many times. But nothing had prepared him for the current situation:

A four-year-old child, chubby cheeks, messy hair, big, sparkling eyes… was sitting on the sofa in his house.

And that child was you.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

It all started from an unknown hell gate. While Jinwoo and you were fighting monsters, out of carelessness, an orc shot his magic at you and you were hit. Jinwoo immediately ordered Beru and Igris to go to you, while he went to kill them all.

He quickly turned around and asked Igris about your condition. Igris hesitated. Jinwoo's eyes darkened, but before he could say anything, a childish voice interrupted him.

At Igris' feet, a child poked his head out, wearing loose clothes, looking at him with curious eyes.

"Jinwoo?" You blinked, your childish voice rang out.

Jinwoo was stunned. He couldn't believe his eyes. "Wait… Don't tell me…"

You puffed up in frustration. "Don't laugh at me!"

Jinwoo swallowed back the laughter that was rising in his throat. Taking care of a baby was hard enough, but taking care of you—a super naughty baby version—was definitely worse.

"Dang…"

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

After bringing you home, Jinwoo discovered a terrifying truth.

You had too much energy.

Jinwoo quickly realized that babysitting was not easy. You were an extremely mischievous child, and although your memories seemed to be intact, your personality was exactly like that of a real child.

You ran around everywhere, climbing on chairs, rummaging through cabinets, and even trying to get into the refrigerator to find cakes. Jinwoo thought about summoning Beru to help, but then he realized that would only make things… more chaotic.

Jinwoo sighed, rubbing his temples. "Can you sit still for a bit?"

You pouted, placing your hands on your hips. "No! I want to play!"

Jinwoo felt a not-so-light headache.

"Jinwoo oppa! I'm hungry!" You exclaimed, holding your stomach.

He sighed, rummaging through the fridge for something easy for kids to eat. Finally, Jinwoo placed a small cake on the table.

"Here, eat slowly."

But you didn't seem to want to eat slowly. You took a big bite, your eyes shining. "So delicious!"

Jinwoo watched you eat, smiling slightly. In this brief moment, he felt that you were really… cute. But just as he was about to enjoy this quiet—

"Done! I want to play more!"

Jinwoo rubbed his temples.

"Haiz…"

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

While Jinwoo was racking his brain trying to figure out how to get you to take a nap, you came up with a new idea.

You looked around the room, your mischievous gaze falling on Jinwoo's three loyal bodyguards: Beru, Igris, and Bellion.

A mischievous smile appeared on your lips.

_____________

Fifteen minutes later.

_____________

"M-My Liege…" Beru’s voice trembled as he looked down at the pale pink princess dress he had just been forced to wear.

Beside him, Igris kept his cool expression, but he couldn’t hide his embarrassment as he wore a pink headband with a giant bow on his head.

The most pitiful one was Bellion—Jinwoo’s most dignified general—wearing a sparkling tutu, holding a small doll in his hand.

Jinwoo almost dropped his teacup when he saw the scene before him.

You—in the form of a four-year-old child—were sitting in the middle of the living room, calling yourself ‘Princess’, and forcing Jinwoo’s three strongest guards to attend the ‘Princess Tea Party’.

"Sit down! The Princess commands!"

Beru, Igris, and Bellion looked at each other helplessly, then reluctantly sat down on the tiny chairs you had arranged.

Jinwoo felt his soul leave his body.

He had seen Beru crush his enemies in battle, Igris confront the strongest enemies, and Bellion lead a mighty army.

But today… they were sitting holding plastic cups of tea, wearing princess dresses, and pretending to drink tea with a four-year-old child.

This scene, he would definitely never forget.

"Jinwoo oppa! You have to join too!" You suddenly called out to him.

Jinwoo immediately shook his head. "No way."

But then you looked at him with sparkling eyes, pouting your lips, and mumbled, "Don't you love me?"

Jinwoo's heart stopped.

He sighed, then reluctantly sat down next to you.

Immediately, you placed a plastic crown on Jinwoo's head, then clapped your hands happily. "You're the Prince now! You have to pour tea for the Princess!"

Jinwoo looked at the pink plastic cup of tea in front of him, then looked at his three pitiful bodyguards.

He never thought he would fall into this situation.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

After almost an hour of pretending to drink tea and talking about 'noble' things like 'who's the most beautiful princess' (you forced everyone to choose you), Jinwoo finally managed to coax you into taking a nap.

Beru, Igris, and Bellion immediately took off their decorations, each with a different expression:

Beru: "I…I feel like my honor has been severely damaged, My Liege!"

Igris: "…I've never been through such a difficult battle before."

Bellion: "…Please forget about this."

Jinwoo laughed.

He looked at you—who was curled up in the blanket, sleeping soundly with an innocent face—and gently patted your head.

Even though today was a bit chaotic, seeing you so happy, he felt…it wasn't so bad.

Anyway, maybe one day, you'll come back as an adult, and he'll tell this story to tease you for the rest of your life.

Jinwoo smiled.

Today was truly a memorable day.

Maybe I wouldn't be able to write in 2 months

[apeachty]

₊ ˚ ⊹ ♡ . ⠀wild roses | chapter 1 ; the roots

⠀⠀⠀neighbour!yeonjun x fem!reader

♡ you're here ♡ | to chapter 2 →

genre ; soulmate au, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, humour, smut            wordcount ; 17.5k

warnings | tags ; unhealthy relationship with pain [mentions of self-inflicted pain]; yeonjun does some kinda questionable stuff; a bit of self-hate and self-pity.

smut warnings ; dom + soft sadist yeonjun x sub + soft masochist reader. wet dreams, heavily based on pain kink [choking, marking, spanking and so on]; male masturbation.

✉ notes ; oh wow... my first collaboration event ever and it was AWESOME. the idea was just incredible and i'm honoured to be a part of the event and write for the idea. i want to thank each one of beautiful talented moa who took part in the event, please-please-please, read other event fics, all of them are wonderful

i got a tiny bit carried away, so there are going to be two more parts. that just... happened. i was possesed

⠀⠀⠀[ event masterlist | my masterlist | wild roses masterlist ]

it felt like a cruel joke of fate, destiny, the universe or whatever force might be pulling the strings of your life. you were sure you could post an advertisement for your services—“spend a few days with me and find your soulmate. 100% guarantee”, because yet another one of your colleagues had returned from her vacation particularly glowing—she had met her, her soulmate, the one she had been waiting for her whole life. 

she couldn't keep quiet about it, and you couldn't blame her, despite the tiny, bitter part of your mind whispering that you were a lucky charm for everyone else, leaving yourself with nothing but emptiness and heartbreak. you'd only been working here for a year, and four of your colleagues had found their soulmates before your very eyes—five, including the one who had announced it today—and each time, the quiet whispers of pity behind your back only grew louder. of course, you heard the hushed “shh, don't be so loud” that meant to show care—you had stopped paying attention to it long ago. 

the bond you had once shared with your soulmate was a complicated one, tangled in endless conditions and rules, most of them uncertain, suspended between truth and myth. it had already felt impossible to navigate it, while you still had it, but now, when it was broken for years, finding them felt like a distant dream. you weren't even sure if they were still alive, if you were being honest, but thinking about it unsettled you to the point of near-physical pain, so you chose not to think about them at all.

your mind sometimes thought differently, though, keeping you awake until early morning and haunting you with visions of you staying alone until your last days. on those days you’d find yourself deleting your browser history in shame and embarrassment on your way to work—“would you know if your soulmate had died”, “is it possible to get another soulmate”, “is it possible to have more than one soulmate”, “wild rose bond”. you hated those nights and the days that followed, because your brain wouldn't stop overanalyzing everything you'd read, twisting every possibility into something even more unbearable—hope. 

but more than anything, you feared returning to the dark months after you had felt your soulmate for the last time. looking back, you wondered if their heartbreak had somehow resonated with your own—the one that had started just a few hours before. you had felt a faint sensation of nails dragging down your back from your shoulder blades, as if someone was scratching at your skin with their nails, but it wasn't your back, it was their back. you had thought you were devastated then, but a few hours later, when the real weight of it hit, you felt like you couldn't breathe anymore, and it wasn't your pain.

all of it plunged you into what was probably the darkest period of your life, making you realize how truly ugly your bond was, because it was either an endless cycle of intensifying pain—feeding off your soulmate’s suffering and giving it right back to them until it returned to you—or nothing at all. and when you woke up empty, feeling nothing foreign that had become an important part of you over the years, it was as if you had lost the constant touch of a lover. even if that touch had only ever caused pain, you still tried to get it back. 

you didn't know if you were trying to get your soulmate to respond to you, or if, in some twisted way, you were just to mimic the pain they had once caused you—desperate for anything that might keep you from feeling so utterly alone. but it never worked—they never replied and you never felt any relief. 

and now you felt yourself slowly sinking into that darkness again—the more happy stories told behind your back you heard, the stronger the itch in your fingers became. what if—just a tiny what if—they would reply to you if you pinched your arm just a little? what if they pinched back? what if you could finally do something you had wished for years you had done earlier—agree to meet somewhere through morse code? the sickening feeling of hope was so much worse than that mutual heartbreak had ever been. 

you shook your head—no. the “unbreakable bond” that was supposed to never fade—not by time, not even by death—was broken, and the was nothing you could do about it. maybe some people were simply meant to stay alone, and maybe you were one of them. so what? surely, you weren't the only unlucky one like that, there was no way everyone in this world had a person they were destined to live and die with. after all, you could be your own soulmate—at least that bond would never shatter.

the overly confident thoughts, which felt more like bravado than anything sincere even to you, took up all your attention, and you reached out for your coffee cup, completely forgetting it was still too hot. the burn on the pads of your fingers made you wince, a quiet "shit" slipping past your lips—all these existential crisis thoughts, that were creeping in more and more often recently, were making you a bit too careless, and that was a dangerous match to the way you were starting to perceive pain. again.

“you okay?”

you looked up at soobin—another one of your colleagues, but not annoying one— and pressed your lips into a thin line. “i’m fine. please don’t join them in looking at me like i need pity, i beg you.”

he smiled and shook his head. “wasn’t going to. you’re overthinking it, you know?” he glanced over your shoulder at the suddenly quiet, happy circle before returning his gaze to you. “well… you’re overthinking my behavior, i guess…”

you sighed—of course. “they’re looking, aren’t they?” he replied with a tiny nod, making you bury your face in your hands. “with pity?” you mumbled, your words muffled.

“yeah…” he admitted, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. he wasn’t one to enjoy much attention, but sitting across from you left him no choice when their conversations inevitably turned to soulmates. “hey,” he tried to get your attention, holding out his paper cup to you over both of your monitors. “it’s the same as yours, but not as hot anymore. haven’t drunk it either.”

the man was a savior sometimes. you took his cup, giving him yours. “thanks. what would i do without you?”

“drown in pity gazes and whispers?”

you laughed. “most probably.”

he smiled at you, glad that your face was no longer painted with ridiculously funny determination he knew you faked—trying to make yourself believe it—and got back to work, mirroring you.

but you had trouble focusing on your work anyway, and the worst part was your boss, who kept throwing worried glances at you whenever he passed by—it felt like a few more found soulmates in your branch, and he'd start asking if you wanted to take a day off or work from home for a few days whenever someone said. after all, whenever someone announced—because it was impossible to keep it inside—that they had found their soulmate, he always reacted the same way.

you already had the ick from the word—soulmates this, soulmates that. all those “don't worry, you're still young” reassurances coming from people you had met maybe three times in your life while making yourself a coffee in the office kitchen. it wasn't even about your age—though there were countless depressing myths about soulmates and age, especially when it came to wild roses—it was about the nature of the bond itself that made people pity you.

you had no idea why in the world they cared about their colleague—nothing more!—finding or not finding their soulmate. and worse, you'd never told anyone about your lack of one, nor about what kind of bond you had. yet, somehow, someone must have seen your mark—which wasn't too hard to notice, but the situation had to be very specific for anyone to actually see it—and now people knew about it before they had even met you, the rumours about you entering the room first. 

as if that wasn’t bad enough, at some point, they started matchmaking you with any soulmate-less new colleague. you were still sure those glances at you interacting with soobin meant something, just because he didn’t have a soulmate either. it was funny how they barely cared that he wasn't a wild rose—and you didn't even question how they never seemed to care about what the two of you actually thought of it, just being two introverts in an office full of extroverts. 

but soobin was nice enough not to care about it and was basically the only person here you talked to about something other than work, and you were thankful he was there for you without trying to assure you that you were still young and that your soulmate was still out there somewhere. he knew everything that had happened around your bond and understood that wild roses didn’t have it easy, so he never bothered you by feeding the hope you kept buried deep inside. 

“you know…” soobin started while you two were packing up to go home—you both started your workdays half an hour later than everyone else, meaning you stayed half an hour after everyone left, which was basically the reason for shifting your work hours in the first place. “i haven’t met my soulmate either, and…”

you shook your head, giving him that ‘are you serious?’ look. “soob, don’t start. you haven’t met them because you either work or play league.”

soobin laughed, nodding. “you’re right. but i just wanted to say that soulmate or no soulmate, it doesn’t define you—or anyone—as a person,” he smiled reassuringly, grabbing both of your jackets and handing you yours. “you’re perfectly complete without someone who was chosen for you by something unknown.”

you nodded, biting your lip and fidgeting with the pull on your jacket. he always knew what to say, and it was always sincere—probably, because he was in the same situation as you, but with a completely different perspective on it. soobin seemed much more mature than you could even hope to be. no—you pushed these thoughts away. you weren’t going to pity yourself. he was right—it made no sense. 

“thanks, soob. you always know the right words.”

he smiled. “i could say i’ve been there, but i think they bother me much less about not having a soulmate,” he scratched the back of his head in thought. “male advantage?” he assumed, and you both laughed—maybe it really was male advantage. “keep you company on your way home?”

you shook your head, checking the time. “you won’t be home by seven if you do,” you patted his shoulder, and he tilted his head in question. “it’s thursday. your league-i-promise-she-is-just-a-friend will be waiting for you,” you sing-songed, making him press his lips together in an attempt to hide his smile—a failing attempt—and you couldn’t help but mirror it.

soobin opened his mouth to tell you something, but it seemed like every thought he had about his “just friend” only made his smile grow bigger and harder to hide, so in the end he just shook his head with a shy but obviously happy smile. “okay. you sure you'll be fine?”

you nodded, giving him a quick goodbye hug. “completely. be safe too. and don't stay up too late!” you waved before turning around. soobin was a nice guy and deserved all the happiness in the world—you hoped things with his “just friend” would work out, whether she was his soulmate or not.

still, your head felt like a too-crowded beehive, a dozen thoughts overlapping each other, refusing to let you focus on any of them before stealing your attention away to another. you had a bond when you were younger. yes, now it was a distant memory that felt more like a dream—you weren’t even sure you would recall how it felt to experience someone else’s pain or discomfort, but you refused to believe you’d been imagining it for almost ten years of your life, ever since you first understood that some feelings weren’t caused by yourself.

and that connection… it was supposed to be unbreakable, because it was one of the strongest bonds between soulmates—it was based on pain. you could never stop experiencing it, even if it happened rarely, you would still burn your tongue on tea from time to time or hit your elbow in just that spot, and your soulmate would feel it, just as you would feel their pain—there was no way to break it. that’s what you thought, at least—before it was broken. 

these thoughts kept looping in your head, all the information you had read about the bond between wild roses throughout your life swirling in your mind, as if you hadn’t already gone over it hundreds of times, trying to find something you had overlooked—something that could solve the problem you had. but that kind of connection was surrounded by chaos of myths, assumptions, and lies from people pretending to be wild roses. you could never know what was true unless you experienced it yourself and, preferably, discussed it with the other end of the bond. 

and you weren’t even sure of what you had gone through yourself, because you had no idea what your soulmate had done for you to mirror their pain more intensely. it was believed that the strength of the pain you felt from your soulmate grew with distance, and you assumed that, a few years before the heartbreak and the breaking of your connection, they had moved far away from where you were—probably another side of the world. the faint touch of guitar strings on the tips of your fingers had become cruel, invisible marks and calluses, awakening a habit of scratching the pads of your fingers with your nails, trying to get rid of the sensation. the habit stayed—but because you missed the way it felt now. 

the quiet ding of the elevator pulled you out of your thoughts, even through your earbuds. you opened the case, carefully placing each one inside while waiting for the doors to open, and your soul almost left your body when they did, hand flying to your chest to calm your racing heart—a man was sitting on the floor, headphones on his head, too immersed in something on his phone to notice you.

you knew the man—he was your neighbour, but you had never really talked to him, so you weren’t exactly sure how to get his attention, especially since he was wearing headphones. so you stood in front of him like a complete weirdo, looking down at him, your brain still not fully functioning after a busy workday that was made worse by your overthinking. 

but you didn’t have to do anything—he noticed you almost immediately, looking up and quickly standing, pushing his headphones down to his neck. “oh! hey. don’t be freaked out, please,” he said, holding out his hand for a handshake. you hesitantly took it, shaking uncertainly—his hand felt… nice. “i’m your neighbour from—”

“apartment 139, yeah…,” you finished for him slowly, your hand still in his, now just held. “just across the hall. i see you sometimes, but you never greet back, always wearing headphones,” you shrugged—it wasn’t a big deal. he never seemed rude, more like he was always in his head, his hands and head making little weird moves, so you assumed he was dancing to the music in his headphones, the outside world forgotten.  

“oh…” he pulled his hand away and ran his fingers through his hair. “i’m sorry. i tend to get too into my work sometimes, not noticing anything or anyone around.”

you shrugged again, pulling your keys from your pocket, the bunch of keychains jingling softly. “it’s fine. just be careful on the streets. sometimes drivers are…” you scrunched your nose, and he chuckled. “reckless? some make me wonder if anyone can just go and buy a driver’s license now, without even graduating from elementary school, where they give you basic knowledge on traffic rules.” 

he looked at you with an amused smile, and you mentally slapped yourself—it was your first conversation, and you were already burdening him with the grumpiness of a ninety-year-old lady no one liked. no wonder your soulmate had broken the bond even before meeting you, the thought made you smile mentally despite how bitter it actually was—it was a good joke. you made a note to repeat it to soobin tomorrow when telling him about encountering your neighbour. 

but he only laughed, nodding a few times. “i see where you’re coming from. you can never be too careful when it comes to traffic,” he adjusted his headphones, turning them to rest on his collarbones with the ear pads facing in, and your gaze fell to the bare skin of his upper chest for a brief moment, making you involuntarily touch the tight collar of your t-shirt. 

“so…” you fidgeted with the strap of your bag nervously—small talk was nice and, dare you to say, comfortable, especially considering you'd never talked to him before, but he couldn't be sitting here for no reason, could he? “what happened?.. i mean, why were you sitting here?”

“oh! right,” he cleared throat. “i lost my keys. i was going to call for locksmith services, but i don't want to lockpick the door to the corridor,” he paused, because it suddenly started sounding stupid, but shook his head—too late to rethink it now. “so i was waiting for someone to open it.”

you nodded a few times, and he let out a breath—at least you weren't looking at him like he was a complete idiot, and he certainly felt like one. you simply took the key and opened the door to the corridor, letting him in before locking it behind you—he thought that he probably should've been nicer to you instead of just giving a tiny nod as a greeting once every few weeks, which, as it turned out, you didn’t even notice. 

he dialed the locksmith service, throwing glances at you as you unlocked your door. he noticed you pause, your key still in the lock, fingers rubbing it nervously as you stared at it, seemingly lost in thought. he wanted to ask you if everything was okay, but the moment he opened his mouth, a man on the other end of the phone line introduced himself and asked how he could help. 

you glanced at your neighbour as he turned away, still on his phone, his hand rubbing the back of his head. eavesdropping wasn’t good, but you wondered—if the locksmith was going to take some time to arrive, maybe he’d need a place to wait? you could invite him in… he seemed like a nice person, so— you shook your head, he’d probably prefer to wait at the convenience store across the street. with that, you pulled the key out and opened the door. 

“at least half an hour?” he asked, checking the watch before chuckled. “of course. not like i have any other choice,” he listened to whatever the person on the other end was saying before nodding. “yes, five minutes is fine. thank you,” the ‘beep’ of the ended call was almost loud in the empty corridor as he turned to look at you, still standing by your ajar door. “thank you. really,” he smiled warmly. “i’m yeonjun, by the way. it was nice to meet you.”

“[ yn ]...” you replied quietly, still debating whether you should invite him in—half an hour seemed long, but then again, sometimes waiting for an elevator to arrive could take five whole minutes. if he was unlucky, he’d only have time to buy something at the convenience store before having to come right back. no, you thought. don’t be stupid. “it was nice to meet you too,” you almost shut your front door when you realized how much of an idiot you were—just a few minutes ago you basically locked him in the corridor. “wait.”

“huh?” yeonjun looked up from his phone, confused. ‘wait’ for what?.. not like he had anywhere to go right now.

you grabbed the spare key to the corridor door from the key rack and walked up to him, holding it out. “here. you lost yours, and i have a spare one, so you can take it,” you felt so stupid, but it was too late to back out now. “for now or til you get a new one or… or you can keep it,” you finished quietly, each word sounding worse than the last.

yeonjun smiled and shook his head. “i have another one at home, don’t worry. i won’t need it until then anyway, i was going to wait here.” 

you pressed your lips together, cheeks burning, before asking quietly. “how would a locksmith get inside here?..” 

yeonjun froze. he hadn’t thought about it at all. it was almost funny—how he, the one who had that confident, almost intimidating aura, had somehow managed to make himself look like a complete idiot in front of his nice neighbour. not only had he lost his keys, but he also couldn’t think thirty minutes ahead. usually, he didn’t care much about what people thought of him, but he still expected himself to feel ashamed now. but he wasn’t. somehow, it felt like you wouldn’t see him that way—probably because you were just as awkward. 

he took the key from your hand, the little rose keychain getting his attention, as its tiny silver thorns nestled against his skin. yeonjun looked up at you, puzzled—a rose keychain wasn’t strange on its own, he had seen countless of them, but most didn’t have a stem, let alone thorns. he felt his heart skip a beat—the small silver trinket reminded him of a part of himself that he tried to ignore. you only shook your head, though, clearly telling him to not pay any attention to it. but he still didn’t like coincidences like that one. 

you nodded goodbye to him one more time and had already turned away before pausing and biting your lip. “look,” you said before you could stop yourself, turning back to face him. the worst thing that could happen? he would decline, and things between you two would get awkward. but—if you were honest—what things? there were no ‘things’ between you two. you took a deep breath. “you can wait for the locksmith at my place, if you want. it’s warm, and you wouldn’t have to sit on the floor or stand for half an hour. if you want.”

it was inviting. it sounded really nice, actually. yeonjun already felt like his butt was as flat as the floor he’d been sitting on for an hour before you appeared and saved him from what he jokingly thought of as flat-butt disease. but you had just met—neighbours or not—and even though he knew he had no ill intentions, he wasn’t sure you felt the same way. making you feel uncomfortable or, worse, unsafe in your own home was the last thing he wanted. “are you sure it'd be fine? we just learned each other's names a few minutes ago.”

“well…” you frowned and tilted your head—what kind of things was he thinking about? “yes?.. i mean, do you have any… bad intentions?”

yeonjun was taken aback by your question. “um, no?” oh god, pull yourself together, yeonjun! why do you sound so unsure? he cleared his throat and repeated more firmly. “of course, not. but… is that it? you're just going to believe my ‘no’ and let me in?”

you took a few steps toward your door, glad to see him following you. “yep?.. do you really think maniacs would ask in the first place?” you asked him, opening the door and stepping aside to let him in.

yeonjun glanced at you, narrowing his eyes. “do you really think maniacs would just say ‘yeah, of course, i have all the bad intentions in the world’? it sounds…” he tapped his chin, pretending to think. “naïve?”

“yeah? then why would you put these thoughts into my head? sounds like you’re giving me a lesson on how to spot a maniac,” you said, hanging your jacket on the coat rack and pointing at the free hook next to it. yeonjun immediately got the hint and hung his jacket there too, without letting either of you get distracted from the conversation. “so—” you glanced down at his shoes. “i can give you slippers, if you want. brand new. still unpacked even,” you added, waiting for his nod and little ‘thanks’ before continuing. “so. why would one of them do it? give me a lesson on it, i mean.”

yeonjun let out an exaggerated, dramatic sigh. “to lull your vigilance, of course. to make you ask yourself exactly that question and come up with an answer that it doesn't make any sense for a maniac to explain things like that, so it can only mean that this person isn't one,” he ‘explained’, waiting for you to take your shoes off and walk further into the apartment before crouching down to untie his sneakers—he didn’t want to risk making you feel uncomfortable, like he was looking up your skirt. 

“ah, really?” you held the slippers out to him. “why would you—or maniac—tell me that, then? why give further explanation?” you asked, waiting for him to put the slippers on and grab his bag before leading him toward the kitchen. you were enjoying this conversation a lot. maybe even a bit too much, but who cared? “no, no, no, let me answer it myself. to lull my vigilance?”

“exactly!” yeonjun sat down on the bar stool, his smile wide—not because you got something ‘right’ in that silly little banter, but because it felt so comfortable. he couldn't believe you two had never talked before, given how easy it seemed for both of you. “the same thing, but a bit more layered.”

“wow, you seem like a really thought-out maniac, yeonjun. just piling on layers to lull my vigilance,” you sighed in exaggerated awe, pressing a hand to your chest with a little bow of your head. “it's an honour.”

“well,” he shrugged nonchalantly, straightening his back in mock pride. “just doing my best at everything, you know?” 

you let out a laugh, covering your mouth with your hand. he was… cute. funny too, and so easy to talk to—it felt like you had known him your whole life but had just forgotten. it wasn't unusual for you to get loud or talkative, but you usually needed more time to get used to someone before feeling comfortable enough to do so—much more time. but it wasn't like that with yeonjun; he made you feel at ease around him almost immediately. you assumed it was his confident aura that didn't waver even when he was being playful or silly. that level of confidence, unspoiled by arrogance, was truly admirable.

you bit your lip, though—you weren't sure how to reply, but you gaze fell on the coffee machine. “do you want something to drink, by the way?..” you asked, washing your hands in the kitchen sink. “i don't actually have too many bottled drinks, but i have a coffee machine, ice and a bunch of syrups, or i can make you tea.”

it actually sounded tempting. yeonjun still had a bit of his coffee when he left the elevator on this floor and realized he had lost his keys, but that was long gone. he hadn’t risked leaving the spot to buy something to drink, afraid someone would come home while he was away, so now he was pretty much thirsty. but he wasn’t sure if he preferred burdening you over just waiting for half an hour, so he shook his head. 

“no, thank you. but… do you mind if i wash my hands?” yeonjun asked, getting up and rubbing his palms on his jeans. and then what? what was he going to do when he came back after washing his hands? he wasn't socially awkward, but staying with a barely-not-a-stranger in a small space with no one else around—and no alcohol to loosen the atmosphere? he should've just agreed to the coffee to make things a bit less awkward for both of you—he doubted you'd eat or drink something while he was just sitting there. was it too late to say he'd changed his mind?

“oh! kitchen sink or…” you walked out of the kitchen and he followed you, standing next to the kitchen door in the hall. you pointed at a door. “the bathroom is the only door to the right. a small gray towel on the towel rail is for hands, and…” you turned your head to look at him, still leaning on the door frame with the front of your shoulder. “i can bring you another towel if you want to rinse your face or anything. it was washed and dried that morning, so you can be sure it wasn't used.”

yeonjun blinked a few times, looking at you, his mind completely blank—he couldn't even find the words to describe how… adorably weird everything you were doing and saying was. why would you ask him if he wanted to wash his face? it was fine and clean—he had checked in the mirror by the door when he entered out of habit—but you were still unbelievably nice, offering another towel in case he wanted to do it. it felt like the thoughts in your head were completely random, yet it was interesting that you weren't afraid to say them out loud. 

“no, thanks. just hands,” yeonjun said, giving you a small smile before following the direction you had pointed to.

you watched him shut the door before turning back to the kitchen—it wasn't that you felt like you had to keep an eye on him, making sure he didn't wander somewhere he wasn’t supposed to, it was just somehow he already occupied your thoughts, and you only snapped out of it when he disappeared behind the door. but as you sat at the bar table, your overthinking started again. everything was… weird. good, but still weird. you’d never met someone you clicked with this quickly, and it felt almost… suspicious.

you threw a glance toward the bathroom as if you could see through walls, before shaking your head—you had been overthinking too much lately. if you were honest, you always did. maybe it was time to stop thinking and just… be? just accept that you had met someone you felt comfortable with immediately, without questioning it? making new friends—ever heard of it? you thought. yep. it was time to just live your life without looking back at any soulmate issues—past, present, or future.

yeonjun found you with a strangely determined expression on your face and chuckled to himself. he liked that you were like an ajar book—not fully open yet, but easy enough for him to read at least your basic emotion, and it also seemed like you weren’t trying too hard to hide them either. he thought that maybe he should be just as honest.

he cleared his throat, getting your attention. “i know i said no,” he started when you looked up at him, all your focus on him immediately, “but i think i’d actually like something to drink,” yeonjun admitted, watching you standing up immediately to start preparing something, but he was quick to reassure you. “water would be fine, though.”

you paused, hand on the cupboard, looking at him. “water would be ‘fine’ or ‘preferred’?..” you asked, unsure if it sounded too blunt—you didn’t want to sound pushy or impolite, but you could make him something specific, if he wanted. it wasn’t a problem. 

yeonjun hesitated, but admitted nevertheless. “to be honest, i wouldn't say no to some tea. i guess it's a bit too late for an americano,” he smiled warmly, sitting back where he was sitting before, his eyes following your movements. 

he was surprised to see how excited you got, reaching for a box on the top shelf, standing on your tiptoes, the tips of your fingers trying to grab it. he had to almost force himself to stay where he was, resisting the urge to rush over and help you—the scene inside his head immediately played out in slow motion, filmed in third-person with a random lyrical song and that weird corner-whitening effect they always used in dramas for moments like this. he cringed at the thought.

yeonjun still kept an eye on you in case you asked for help or needed it if everything started tumbling down, but you successfully won that round against heights and gravity, placing the now-open box in front of him. it was filled with different colourful foil bags—he was sure anyone would find something they liked here.

“you can choose any you want,” you said, grabbing the kettle to fill it with water the moment he nodded and started going through the box. you turned the kettle on and were about to sit back down when you suddenly realized you were still wearing your office clothes. “do you mind if i go change?..” you asked hesitantly, but yeonjun only nodded.

“of course. i promise to behave,” he lifted his hands in mock surrender, smiling—and making you smile back—before you disappeared around the corner, and he returned to choosing tea, wondering which one both of you would like. 

you tried to change quickly, not wanting to make yeonjun wait, but you froze the moment your gaze fell on your reflection—the t-shirt you were about to put on still in your hands. a huge mark, resembling a thorned rose stem, stretched from your left collarbone down to your right ribs, crossing your chest in a jagged line, and stood out even in the dim light of your bedroom. 

involuntarily, you pressed your fingers to the top thorn, right under your collarbone, as if expecting to feel it pierce the skin of your fingertips. it didn't, though—of course, it didn't—the skin felt the same as the rest, smooth and unbroken. if you didn't look at it, you wouldn't even realize it was there—you wished it was that way. ut no, you knew every detail of it. you knew the exact placement of each thorn, each uneven ridge in the stem. you knew where it started and where it ended. you could draw it with your eyes closed and get every millimeter right. 

the way you tugged the t-shirt on was almost harsh, the tight collar scratching your nose slightly on its way down—you just wanted to hide that reminder as soon as possible, even though you knew you couldn't keep running from it forever. one day, you would have to accept it as part of you—which it was—and stop seeing it as a reminder of your broken future, misfortune, and a cruel fate. but not today. maybe, one day, your view on it would change naturally, when the way you saw soulmates did?..

but for now, you would opt for t-shirts with tight collars and turtlenecks, whenever someone else might see you. alone? crop tops and tank tops were fine—if you tried to avoid looking at the mark—but not in public, and not in front of someone you barely knew. for many other reasons too, of course. 

when you entered the kitchen again, yeonjun was almost done choosing the last kind of tea—he grabbed the foil package from the box and placed it on the table next to six others. he turned to you, a bit surprised at your precise timing, and gestured toward the table. “i chose the ones i’d like to try. the final choice is yours,” he said with a smile, leaning his back on the wall and watching you. 

his choices were great. at first, you thought about suggesting that each of you make tea in your own cup to avoid drinking something you didn’t like, but all seven options were good, so you could actually brew tea in the teapot for both of you. 

you took two packages and placed it closer to him. “one of these. i can't choose,” you said, turning to the kitchen counter to grab the teapot and pour hot water into it, bringing it to the table along with two cups. yeonjun handed you the tea bag that he had chosen, and you dropped it into the teapot, waiting for the tea to brew.

as yeonjun busied himself putting the packages back into the box, the kitchen fell into silence. it wasn't the tense, uncomfortable kind of silence you might expect—it was a soft one, where both of you seemed to be lost in thoughts without worrying about getting silently judged for not supporting some awkward small talk. it felt like either of you could start or continue a conversation easily whenever you wanted, so there was no need in trying to fill the air with meaningless, forced words.

you were already sipping your tea, when yeonjun's voice pulled you out of your thoughts. “there’s a lot of handmade stuff,” he noted, looking at the wall to the side of you. you followed his gaze and nodded, waiting for him to continue. “a great variety too. sewing, collages, patchwork, crocheting, pressed flowers, diamond mosaic… have you done all of that?”

you nodded, taking another tiny sip—your tea was still too hot. “yep. all of these were done by me,” you said, glancing over the countless little handmade things scattered all over the wall, and it felt like you lwere looking at them from a completely different perspective than before. “but i do none of these seriously. it was… some kind of attempt to find myself,” you admitted. a failed one, you added mentally. none of these felt completely you. 

“successful?” yeonjun asked, his gaze fixed on a small patchwork of a rose, the only rose work out of a dozen—it would’ve been almost cute with the pale pink flower, some parts not sewn to the canvas, giving it some volume, but, just like the keychain, this one had thorns, carefully stitched onto the dark green stem. he lifted his hand to touch them almost unintentionally, but stopped, glancing at you.

“you can touch,” you said, and he gently pressed his finger to the top thorn of the rose, making your heart skip a beat. the stem was a smaller version of the mark you had on your chest—you made it in hope it would help with accepting your hopeless soulmate situation—and it felt strange, seeing how gently and cautiously yeonjun's fingers caressed it exactly where your own fingers had been not so long ago. you shook these thoughts away, though—close stitches were just nice to touch. “but no. not successful, as you can see in variety,” you chuckled.

yeonjun hummed—your works looked neat, at least in the eyes of someone who only knew the names of some of them, so if these were some of your first works of every kind… you were impressive. “do you like roses?” he blurted out and immediately realized the question made no sense—your apartment wasn’t full of roses, he had focused on only two things just because of his own issues.

but you simply shook your head and let out a tiny, sincere laugh. “i don’t. hate them, actually,” you admitted, making him nod in acknowledgement. “i know it makes no sense that i made that one—” you threw a glance at the patchwork he had been paying so much attention to. 

“no, it’s fine,” yeonjun interrupted. “i can see why you’d want to make it despite disliking roses. the picture itself is beautiful,” he said. he used to hate roses too, but he’d learned to only hate one. he caressed the length of the stem one last time, not noticing the way you swallowed thickly at his words and movements, eyes glued to his finger. he turned to you with a smile. “i have a silly question, but i assume you cross-stitched too, and i’ve always been curious about something.”

the speed with which yeonjun switched topics almost gave you whiplash, but you tried to compose yourself. “uh, yes. yes, when i was a child. not a too enjoyable activity for me, but i did.” 

he tapped the pad of his finger with his nail as if imitating a needle. “do people often pierce themselves while cross-stitching?” 

you tilted your head—the question wasn’t exactly weird, but it was unexpected. “i don’t think so?..” you weren’t completely sure, since you’d never really discussed it with anyone—you’d only had your own experience. “i mean, you might when you only start, but you learn to avoid it pretty quickly, and pierce your skin on accident to the point where it hurts, maybe… a few times in a few projects?” 

yeonjun hummed, his thumb rubbing the pad of his pointer finger on his left hand. maybe they were just careless?.. or it wasn’t cross-stitching at all? what else could it be, then? just sewing? 

you thought for a second before continuing. “but… i guess some people use their finger pad to feel the needle while piercing the fabric or canvas?..” you said, uncertain if that’s what he wanted to know or if it made any sense in general. “you know… instead of turning the canvas back and forth, you just control the needle with one finger on the back and another one in the front,” you tried to mimic the moves but it looked ridiculous. “it doesn’t really pierce the skin, but it’s technically poking your finger with a needle constantly…”

yeonjun frowned, trying to recall the feeling. “does it hurt? or is it just uncomfortable?” 

but before you could reply, his phone buzzed, breaking the conversation. he threw a quick glance at the number and grabbed the phone, accepting the call hurriedly, mouthing ‘locksmith’ to you. you nodded, watching his back as he rushed to the front door, quickly tugging his sneakers on, phone pressed to his ear with his shoulder, the rose keychain attached to the corridor key dangling out of his back pocket.

you felt… weird. it was a long-forgotten feeling, so you didn’t recognize it at first, but you felt like a child whose best friend's parents had come to pick them up from kindergarten, so not only you were left without your best friend, but alone in general, because the other children had already left, and you were left to wait for your own parents. longing and disappointment were a bit too strong of words for that, but it felt like them, in that childish way. 

yeonjun stopped in the middle of tying his shoe, though, listening to what the person on the other side had to say, before slowly untying his shoes and taking them off. he ended the call and turned to you, making you look at him in question. 

“something happened, and they had to move me further in order…” he mumbled, sitting back, embarrassed now at the way he’d hurried to leave the table. he only wanted to deal with the locksmith as quickly as possible so he could get back and continue talking to you, but by the way you looked at him—a tiny bit like a beaten-up puppy—he realized that it looked completely opposite of that. “they said i have to wait for an hour or two. they’ll call ten minutes before arrival.”

you nodded, rubbing the edge of the cup nervously. was he going to leave, as he now had much more time to go back home from some cafe and didn’t have to stay at your place? you didn’t want him to, but at the same time… you wouldn’t be surprised. 

yeonjun, on the other hand, was unsure how to show that he wanted to stay without making you feel like you had to let him stay if you didn't want to. but… food was always an option, wasn’t it? “it’s around time for dinner. are you hungry?” 

“oh!” you didn’t even realize that you were hungry, too consumed by the conversation. you stood up and went to the fridge. “i can cook somethi—” you paused, your shoulders falling—it was almost empty. just some snacks, milk and an egg. you were going to go to the convenience store after changing into something more comfortable, but that lost keys situation messed it up.

yeonjun looked over your shoulder at the fridge, holding back a chuckle—a typical fridge of a bachelorette (he assumed you were one based on the way your apartment looked), his own looked exactly the same. but it actually made the situation much better. “i can order something if you want? or we can go somewhere,” he proposed. “a friendly dinner as a thank you for giving me a place to wait.”

you froze for a second—he wanted to stay? you cleared your throat. “ordering something sounds great,” you admitted, shutting the fridge and sitting back. “i’m craving pizza, to be honest.” 

he smiled widely. you didn’t want him to leave—it was great. “pizza it is!” he unlocked his phone, laying it on the table between you two. “choose anything you want.”

you started scrolling through the app. “i’m the host, i’m paying…” you mumbled, adding a pizza and a drink to the order. yeonjun replied with a little ‘mhm’, turning the phone to himself. you wish, baby, he thought, choosing food for himself. 

of course, you didn’t pay. yeonjun had sworn he chose the “pay on delivery” option and even took your card when the doorbell rang. his face had been so trustworthy, you didn’t think twice. but it turned out his skill at lulling your vigilance was far better than you could expected. when he walked into the kitchen carrying the pizza boxes and a plastic bag of drinks, his expression was one of absolute shock. he announced that something had gone wrong—the order was already paid for. and, of course—how could you doubt him?—he had absolutely nothing to do with it. perhaps, he suggested, some kind soul (most likely a very handsome one, he added) had paid for it instead.

yeonjun had a way to make the atmosphere around him lighter and people around him more comfortable, you didn’t have to spend too much time figuring it out. but he also seemed to be stubborn—if he wanted to do something and thought it was right, he would do it, or find a way to do it if he was told not to. and he didn’t feel any remorse for that. but at the same time it was… fine? you didn’t want to confront him about paying for pizza, because you could easily find a way to return the favour some time later. ‘later’. the word made you feel warm inside, and you pushed all the questioning thoughts aside. yes. later.

“so,” you got yeonjun’s attention and he looked up at you, his mouth full of pizza—as if he tried to push the whole slice into his mouth without biting, which was almost cute—so you continued. “pineapple on pizza. yes or no?” 

he made a face, which was ten times funnier with his stuffed cheeks. “absolutely no,” yeonjun announced as he finally managed to swallow. “like, absolutely. you?” he asked, narrowing his eyes. you just shrugged, your face sly, and he made an expression of pure horror. “don’t tell me—i can’t believe i’m living next door to a psychopath! were you lulling my vigilance for the past hours just to hit me with this news?” 

you couldn’t help but laugh your heart out at his endless drama skills, and he obviously had troubles keeping up the act and not laughing too. “it’s not that bad, yeonjun. don’t be so judgy! did you know,” you pointed at him with a pizza crust before biting into it, “that sweet and sour sauce is heavily based on pineapple juice?” 

yeonjun rolled his eyes dramatically. “everyone knows it, girl. but it’s different,” he made a huge accent on the last word. “okay. my turn. mint choco ice cream.”

you scrunched your nose. “nope. but don’t tell me it’s a yes from you,” you warned jokingly and he smirked in response. “and you dared to call me a psychopath?! you? a mint chocolate ice cream lover?” it was getting harder and harder to keep your laugh inside, especially as he kept on laughing himself, but you tried to do your best. “i’ll be much more careful while leaving home now.” 

“actually,” yeonjun tried to say it through laughter, but was completely failing. “it makes you a psychopath one more time, because mint choco is awesome! so you’re a double psychopath while i,” he pointed into his chest, “a poor victim of someone with questionable taste.” 

you shook your head—you felt so full, content and comfortable now, it was almost unbelievable, but you loved it. “okay, expect a few tones of mint choco ice cream at your door as revenge for your shameless lie about paying for pizza.”

yeonjun laughed. “you don’t really understand the concept of revenge or punishment, do you?” 

“invite me when you’re trying to find a way to store it, and ask me that one more time,” you stuck your tongue out at him, your cheeks already sore from laughing and smiling. “you’ll be watching it slowly melt while not being able to do anything about it, because you don’t have enough cold space.”

yeonjun pressed his hand to his chest, absolute terror all over his face. “a psychopath, no doubt… will you tie me down and feed me pineapple pizza next?” he asked, doing his best to keep his face straight.

“well, if that’s what gets you going…” you winked at him, but the ridiculousness of the exchange made you crack into a grin and laughter. 

he moved a bit closer to you over the table and whispered. “really wanna know?” he winked back at you, but he was so bad at it, basically just blinking with both of his eyes, making your smile only bigger.

“okay-okay, keep it to yourself, perv,” you replied through laughter, and yeonjun moved back with a grin of a winner, grabbing another pizza slice. 

talking with him was easy—he knew so much, able to continue basically any conversation, but most of them still were silly and ridiculous. you talked about everything and nothing at the same time, getting to know each other better all the while. yeonjun was a choreographer and a dance teacher. he used to be a dancer in his late teenage years, but eventually started giving lessons, making his own choreography and, well, giving lessons on his own choreography. he joked about missing the sore muscles after endless dance practices some days but always reminded himself he wasn’t that young anymore.

at some point you both somehow stumbled into a soulmate topic. it was a pure accident—you wouldn’t be able to recall how it happened or what led to it even if you tried, but you quickly changed the subject to friends, and you could swear he looked relieved for a second before composing himself. but even just a few words were enough for you two to realize that you both had some issues in that area and wandered around soulmate-less. 

you barely even noticed how another hour passed, and yeonjun’s phone buzzed with a call from the locksmith. he didn’t rush to take the call that time, though, knowing it’d only mean that this tiny two-people party was over, as if the longer he would take to answer, the more time he’d get with you. but he knew it didn’t work that way, so he accepted the call and listened to the locksmith, who was saying he’d be there in ten minutes.

yeonjun ended the call, and stayed still for a second, looking at his phone screen before tapping a few times and holding it out for you. “save your number, please. or kakao id. whichever you prefer more.” 

you hesitated, but he shook the phone softly to hurry you a bit, and you obeyed, taking it and typing your kakaotalk id in the “add friend” section. you paused, thinking of a way to save yourself, throwing a quick glance at yeonjun. he wasn’t so smiley and warm anymore, clearly dissatisfied—you were surprised how strongly his mood affected the atmosphere around him. or was it affecting just you?.. you typed in the safest option you could come up with—‘[ yn ], apt. 138’ —and tapped “add” before handing his phone back.

yeonjun looked at his screen, noticing the ridiculous name, small smile appearing on his face, as he quickly opened the editor and changed it to ‘little psycho’. he made sure you could see it just to witness your reaction, and he didn’t regret it a second, because you looked at him with one of the cutest angry expressions he had ever seen—your lips in a small pout and brows frowned.

“i’ll save you as ‘mr. maniac’ then,” you stated, but it only made him smile. you realized you were happy to make him smile and be the reason why he stopped being a thundercloud with tiny lightnings all around him—even if it was just for a second. 

“please, do. i like the way ‘mr. maniac’ and ‘little psycho’ sound,” yeonjun said, checking the watch—he had to go soon. “i’ll even put red velvet’s ‘psycho’ as your ringtone, hm?” he proposed it like it was the best idea in the world, smug about coming up with it. the lyrics flew quickly in your mind, making you press your lips together, and he noticed it immediately. “no, nevermind, sorry—”

but you composed yourself quickly. “but only if you’re getting stray kids’ ‘maniac’ as yours. fair and square,” you said, trying to keep the most serious face you could manage, holding out your hand to “seal the agreement”. yeonjun took it just as seriously, shaking it a few times, but not letting go when it was clearly time to do so. you tilted your head in question, and that was the moment you realized you should never expect anything good from that man.

yeonjun stood up from the bar stool, placing his other hand behind his back and bowing slightly as he brought your hand to his lips, pressing a feather-light kiss to the back of it. “deal, milady,” he said, a foxy smile playing on his face—you were sure he wasn’t even trying to hide it, no attempt to pretend not to do it on purpose just to play with you! 

you narrowed your eyes at him, turning your hand a bit to pinch the skin between his thumb and index finger, making him tsk at you, but it quickly turned into a chuckle when he noticed the way you hissed as his ring scratched exactly the same spot on your hand. 

yeonjun's grin grew bigger at that. of course, he didn't do it on purpose, but it was funny nevertheless—the way your intent to “hurt him” turned against yourself. “the revenge was quick that time, wasn't it?” he asked mockingly, with no actual bite to his words, and somehow he was sure you knew it. his phone buzzed, though, and he realized he’d lost track of time again. “i’ll text you, okay? ‘mr. maniac’. don't forget,” he warned jokingly, trying to make you smile as he saw your face slowly falling. 

you nodded and followed him to the front door, watching him open the corridor door for the locksmith and let him in. they both came closer to you, the man asking for yeonjun's id to confirm he was living there. you almost retreated to your own apartment, not wanting to create a crowd when it obviously wasn't needed, when your eyes fell on yeonjun's wallet that he had taken out to get his id. inside, in a small window people usually used for photos, was a tiny pink pressed rose bud, the little flower made your heart skip a beat. why would he have something like that?.. even the locksmith's question didn't tear your attention away from it; it was yeonjun's soft, almost concerned ‘[ yn ]?’ that pulled you out of your head.

it was impossible to describe how embarrassed you were, trying to quickly recall what the question had been. “uh, yes, that man is my neighbour. of a few years,” you said quickly, and the locksmith nodded, giving yeonjun his id back and saying something about two confirmations being better than one, to which you only nodded absentmindedly, image of the flower still in front of your eyes. 

you waved yeonjun goodbye and mumbled something about having a good day to the locksmith before disappearing behind your door—completely unaware of yeonjun’s worried look.

the moment the door was locked, the last ‘click’ going through the heavy air, you realized how stupid you were for overthinking it—it was probably a little nothing from someone important. a girlfriend, perhaps. yes, he didn't have a soulmate, but that didn’t mean people who hadn’t met their soulmate couldn’t date anyone else—after all, your own soulmate did the same thing so many years ago. and you wouldtoo, you admitted to yourself, given the opportunity—that endless chase for someone who was god knows where, if they even were, was exhausting.

you didn’t even turn away from the door yet when your watch buzzed and you saw ‘be a cute psycho, not a sad psycho ;)’ on the screen. you looked into the peephole, and there he was—sending his failing wink at you and making you smile. you unlocked your phone and sent a quick ‘okay, mr. maniac’, accepting his friend request and changing ‘choi yeonjun’ to the nickname he wanted. you thought for a second before taking a screenshot of his name and sending it to him, getting a reply almost immediately—’good girl’. you paused, fingers hovering over the keyboard, unsure how to reply, when another message came in: ‘tell me when i’m too much, okay? don’t put up with my behaviour if it makes you uncomfortable’. it was nice—really nice, warmth spilling inside, as you sent ‘okay. but it’s fine so far, don’t worry’.

the conversation didn’t stop there—just like you two were talking about everything and nothing when yeonjun was sitting in your kitchen, you continued talking through texts, completely losing track of time—friends, families, funny stories from work. turned out he was three handshakes away from you—one of the guys who took yeonjun’s dance lessons about a year ago and became his good friend was regularly playing league with soobin. the guy he moved to japan a few months ago and kept complaining to yeonjun that his playing buddy chose a girl over him until three of them started playing together. 

it was past midnight when yeonjun said that it was time for you two to sleep, and you couldn’t even fight him on it—you tried to, but he kept correcting your sleepy typos instead of answering, and you quickly realized once again it was useless to go against him, because he would find a way to get everything done his way. so you wished him sweet dreams and locked your phone, putting it on the bedside table, your sleepy gaze still glued to it. you hoped yeonjun wasn’t finding you annoying—you liked talking to him. 

just like your head was full of him for the previous few hours, your last thoughts before finally falling asleep were the same.

the pain caused by him was delicious. it reminded you of caramel—his touches were drawn-out, hot and so, so sweet. no pleasure had ever come close to the sweetness of the pain he was inflicting upon you—he took his time, making you savour everything he was giving you and crave more. 

it felt like he was everywhere, coating every inch of your body; pain, just like honey, glazing every nerve—you could feel him tugging your hair, fist firm against the back of your head, could feel his fingertips sinking into the flesh of your thighs, craving to leave marks on you—you prayed they did—and his nails digging into your skin as he ran his hand down, leaving trails along your legs—just as burning and sweet as melted chocolate. 

his fingers around your neck felt like the only necklace you would ever want to wear from now on—hand firm, warm and sweet too. if only he tightened his hand—he did so immediately, making you roll your eyes and part your lips, and he didn't let the opportunity go to waste, sliding his index and middle finger into your mouth, the other ones and thumb digging into the gentle skin of your cheeks. 

but the most delicious pain was brought by his teeth, sinking into the skin of your neck and chest, holding it as he sucked the soft surface in, making the lonely thorny stem on your chest bloom, as he held you pressed into him. it was as if he wanted to merge you together, never letting you leave him, and you would beg him to even sew you two together just to never stop feeling that pain. would beg for more of it. 

you felt him part your legs, one hand still on your neck, another one digging fingers into the inside of your thigh as he opened you for him, sinking his teeth into the flesh of the other thigh. he leaned in, and the feeling of his warm breath between your legs made you lose the last shred of sanity you still had after all the sweet torture he put you through. at least, you thought so until his wet, warm tongue pressed against your aching clit. 

you arched your back, clenching the bed sheet in your hands. “yeonjun—” you choked out, eyes flying open, heart pounding in your chest. the ceiling of your bedroom felt pressing and heavy, trying to bury you under its weight, as if the guilt and disgust at your own dreams weren't heavy enough. 

everywhere his hands had been just mere moments ago felt dirty, as if every inch of you was covered in filth instead of the sweet honey his touches had coated you in. you wanted nothing more than to go shower and scratch away the remnants of the disgusting dream you’d had, but even the thought of touching yourself—not sexually, just touching yourself anywhere—made you want to throw up.

yeonjun was nothing but kind to you, making you feel warm and comfortable, asking if you were fine with his behaviour almost on the clock, and you paid him with having a fucking wet dream. not even a soft vanilla one—though, that one wouldn't have made the situation much better—but a dirty one, where you craved him to hurt you, and absolutely nothing was fine about it. it was that stupid masochism again, the one you tried so hard to ignore.

you sat up slowly, wincing at the uncomfortable feeling between your legs—you touched the fabric and it was basically soaked, feeling under the pads of your fingers adding to the guilt, because you weren't sure when was the last time you'd been that wet. you had to pull your panties off just not to feel your wetness against your skin—cool night air making you hiss.

the floor was cold under your bare feet, but you didn't care, finding a clean pair and pulling it on almost violently. you needed some water—your throat and lips were dry, and you prayed to all the gods that you had been just as quiet while having a wet dream as you were while touching yourself. if you remembered correctly, your and yeonjun's apartments were mirroring each other, meaning his bedroom was just behind the wall from yours. 

you stood by the counter, your fingers clutching the glass—you two were sitting just a few hours ago behind your back, and you wondered how you'd be able to look him in the eyes now, if you couldn't even look at yourself. 

just a wall away from where you were only a few minutes ago, yeonjun stirred awake with a soft groan on his lips, head thrown back. his heart was beating like crazy, and his entire body was covered in a thin layer of sweat, as he struggled to catch his breath and grasp at least one coherent thought amidst the dozen flying through his mind. but most importantly, he wanted to focus on anything but the images that stayed in his head even after he woke up.

yeonjun couldn't believe these thoughts, these fantasies were back. they weren't too hardcore, but he still had been pushing them down and ignoring their existence for years. no matter how he tried to phrase it, none sounded good—‘i’m a sadist’? he was, but he was a softcore one—that wasn't what anyone would think when hearing the word, though. ‘i enjoy causing pain’? it was even worse. and even knowing the truth himself, he couldn't accept it, too afraid of being labeled a psychopath. again. 

but they were back, and in the worst way possible—dreams. something yeonjun couldn't control. and what dreams they were—about the sweet neighbour he had only started getting to know better, and never wanted to make her feel uncomfortable. but his brain thought differently. too differently, throwing in images of the way your skin felt between his lips and teeth, of the way his fingers fit perfectly around your neck, as if it was made for him to hold it, of the way you trembled and clenched at every little glimpse of pain he was giving you.

yeonjun felt himself twitch in his boxers—pictures too vivid in his head. he ran his fingers through his hair, pulling the damp bangs away from his sweaty forehead and tugging at the roots. he didn't want to do it, truly didn't, but it was almost hurting, and his free hand—almost on its own accord—drifted down to jerk his tank top higher and then palm his hard cock through his boxers. he groaned at the feeling that was releasing at least a bit of pressure—pressure so unbearable, it almost shadowed the guilt he felt over thinking about you in such way.

the fabric was soaked through with precum, and yeonjun pushed it down with a quiet, low moan, freeing himself, his pulsing cock slapping against his stomach and leaving a smear of precum on his skin. he wrapped his hand around the shaft, stroking it slowly, images from the dream finding its way back into his mind—he tried his best to keep his fantasies to the needed minimum, not letting anything else in. he was doing it only to get rid of a boner.

but you felt so good beneath him there, your expressions, your sounds, the little trembles of your body and the way you clung to him, begging for more—all of it was sweeter than honey. yeonjun couldn’t stop his thoughts from wandering. was it possible to make you even sweeter? of course, he thought, cock twitching in his hand even before he finished the thought. because he could want anything, crave anything and you would give it to him, because you craved the same thing. like his lost puzzle piece. 

yeonjun stroked himself faster, his grip tightening around his throbbing cock as he started losing himself in the fantasy, much more dangerous than the one he had dreamed about, but he was in too deep to stop, because you—the one from the dream—was her. the one he had craved so much but had buried deep inside, down to the last thought. the one who wanted everything he wanted to give and could give—in exact same amounts. just perfect for him down to the smallest whimpers of pleasure found in the pain he gave you.

the thought made yeonjun groan, his hips bucking up into his fist as he felt his release building fast. he could almost hear your mewls and sobs of begging to never stop, feel your hands on his body, holding him and accepting him and his every dark part. he came, biting into his lip hard to muffle his moan of your name, as thick ropes of cum painted his stomach and hand. 

yeonjun tried to catch his breath, guilt slowly creeping in—much stronger than before—but there was something worse. the word was still bright, almost blinding in his mind, and he couldn’t believe a mere wet dream and just jerking off had awakened in him something that he had been hiding from himself for nearly a decade.

he looked at his hand, covered in cum, in disgust and grabbed the pack of facial tissues, pulling them out harshly to get rid of the reminders of everything that had happened. yeonjun wasn’t disgusted by his cum—he was a grown up, after all—but he hated everything that was somehow connected to it this time, and tissues weren’t enough. he threw the box somewhere on the bed and got up to go to the bathroom to at least wash his hands properly. 

yeonjun didn’t even bother to wipe them dry, just pausing in the doorway on his way out and shaking the drops off, as his gaze fell on the key you had given him, the silver rose keychain dangling down from the shelf, reflecting a light that went through the window from somewhere outside in the night. it was too dark to see the thorns, but he knew they were there, mocking him with the cruel coincidence. 

the way yeonjun tugged his tank top off on his way to the large mirror was almost cruel—he couldn’t care less if he tore it, he needed to look at it. he turned his back to the mirror, looking at the reflection over his shoulder, and there it was—mark of a wild rose, a thorned rose stem crossing his back. looking at it was almost foreign, feeling like a distant memory of someone who he had been years ago. 

yeonjun had always thought he was lucky to have it somewhere he just couldn’t see it—wild roses didn’t always find their soulmates, and their marks were a constant reminder of that, so he felt sorry for those who had to look at it regularly. he had the privilege of only seeing his own when he wanted to, and he never did—he hadn’t seen it for years. but had it helped him now? 

had his dismissal towards it helped him, when his tired and stressed brain clung to the nicest and most relaxing thing that had happened to him in weeks and distorted it into something dirty and disgusting, which had awakened a craving for something that he had given up on getting long ago, because his soulmate was nowhere to be found? 

had his pretending helped him, when he came with the thought of just being accepted? 

everything melted under the morning light, though—just like how it could turn the monster in the dark corner into a coat carelessly hung on the coat rack, when you were a child, in the same way, it transformed all the thoughts, fears and, most importantly, guilt into indifference for both of you. 

in the darkness of the night, you weren't sure how you could even think of yeonjun, but now, as you were applying healing lip balm to you sore lower lip—that you, perhaps, had bitten too hard last night—while trying to type with your other hand, you didn’t see any problem—you couldn’t control your dreams. your brain had probably been so overloaded with yeonjun for hours before you went to sleep, that it just continued thinking of him even subconsciously. god, you even had a wet dream about soobin once, after you two stayed in the office until almost midnight and you were just too tired. 

yeonjun would never know about it anyway—unless you told him, and you surely weren’t going to. you were going to just go with the flow and let stuff happen the way they were supposed to, without ruining everything for yourself by feeling ‘guilt’ and ‘disgust’ toward your subconscious. you would just deal with the consequences later—if there would be any, of course. you sure there wouldn’t be.  

and it was the same for yeonjun, who was almost embarrassed with how dramatic he had been in the dark shadows of his apartment and thoughts, longing for a soulmate who would ‘accept’ him. yes, his soulmate would—just as he would do the same for them—because his darkness aligned and blended perfectly with theirs. that was the point of soulmates. but who said his soulmate was the only one who could do it? his friends accepted him—yes, it was different, but it was still acceptance. who said there was only one person in the world that could accept him as a lover? bullshit.

and when it came to the filthiness of thoughts yeonjun had about you… he wasn’t so sure it was truly you, if he was being honest. in the chill morning air, it felt more like a phantom of his soulmate—one he secretly craved so badly to hold—had shaped itself into your form just because he spent so much time with you yesterday. it probably had to do a little with you as… you. too little. almost nothing.

so yeonjun had almost no remorse sending you a good morning text in the form of ‘so, are you having pineapple pizza for breakfast? or are you going to add pineapples to kimchi maybe?’. before he could even wonder if it sounded a bit too rude or aggressive, you hit him back with ‘okay, jokes aside, serious question now. do you put choco mint ice cream on your fried chicken or do you prefer to dip it?’, making him smile—you matched his sass, and he loved it.

yeonjun asked you if you wanted him to keep you company on your way to the ground floor, so you wouldn’t get bored waiting for the elevator and in it—a kind man he was—and you hesitantly agreed, not wanting to burden him, but keeping in mind that he was the one who offered. he didn’t have to, but he still did, so it was safe to assume he at least had no problems with it—and at most, wanted to. so you chose not to think for him and just be honest. 

it was awkward, leaving the apartment and seeing him by your door, waiting for you, but you brushed it off—it reminded you of a friend waiting for you to walk to school together, and it wasn’t a big deal. what was a big deal was the way your heart skipped a beat when you saw him, images from the dream still haunting you, a weird feeling blooming in your lower stomach. seeing him after the way you had felt him in the dream was unsettling, but you tried to push the images away—of course, they were still there, barely any time had passed.

it was the same for yeonjun, his breath hitching when he saw you—so composed and neat compared to how messy and ruffled you had looked in his dream and his fantasies. he quickly corrected himself—not you. his soulmate. with your appearance, but still not you. but he didn’t realize that it took him a bit too long until your question pulled him from his thoughts.

yeonjun was looking at you so intently that you felt an almost overpowering need to make yourself seem smaller. he couldn’t read your mind, could he?.. “is there something on my face?” you asked uncertainly, your hand shooting up to touch your lips. you didn’t have a coffee mustache, did you? that’d be so embarrassing!

“huh?” yeonjun quickly ran his eyes over your face. “no, nothing,” he shook his head, but almost immediately narrowed his eyes, leaning in just a bit closer, making your eyes widen. but then he shook his head and straightened back. “nope, nothing.” 

that man was something else, you thought. “what did you think you saw?” you asked curiously, as you both headed to the elevator hall.

“hm?” yeonjun threw a quick glance at you. “it seemed like you had a whole pineapple slice in the corner of your lip,” he shrugged nonchalantly, but the tiny smirk tugging at his lips gave away his intentions to tease you. he continued, “probably imagined it.” 

you quirked an eyebrow at him, keeping the play up as you stepped into the elevator. “really? just a few hours with me, and you are already imagining pineapples everywhere?” you leaned your back against the mirror, watching as he stood a bit to the side to adjust his hair. “what’s next? ordering pineapple pizza in the middle of the night so no one sees it?” 

gosh, yeonjun thought, throwing a quick glance at your reflection. you fit right into the circle of people he enjoyed spending time with. and what was even better, he knew he’d always have the last word with you. “mhm,” he turned to you. “wait til you look at mint choco ice cream in a convenience store, and the next second, you find yourself eating it with a tablespoon in the middle of the night, thinking of me,” he smirked.

you rolled your eyes playfully, covering up the weird way your insides reacted to ‘thinking of him in the middle of the night’. “you wish,” you stuck your tongue out at him, knowing he’d take it as your defeat. yeonjun seemed to like making you flustered and having the upper hand, and you could get flustered easily sometimes and had never been too sharp-tongued, sometimes struggling to come up with extremely clever and sassy responses—but he didn't seem to mind.

but ‘keeping company to the ground floor’ became ‘keeping company to the nearest bakery’ to get morning coffee for both of you—yeonjun said that he since was already outside, he might as well use the opportunity to get americano for now and some baked goods for later. you weren't sure who was the first to joke when he handed you your cup, but his question about whether there was a pineapple slice in your coffee blended with your question about him deciding against adding chocolate-ed toothpaste to his coffee this time, and neither of you had even finished—your shared laughter filled the little bakery instead. 

when you parted your ways, though, yeonjun realized that while talking to you made his exhausting thoughts disappear and he could just stop worrying about basically anything—which was only weird because you had met a little over twelve hours ago, as his friends were able to do the same—whenever you two weren’t talking, his mood became even worse than before, thoughts about not meeting his soulmate yet coming back to haunt him. he thought he had stopped caring a few years ago. 

it wasn’t easy to keep himself from turning around to look at you, but he managed to, gripping the cup in his hand tighter, the ice cubes clicking together and cooling his skin even through plastic. was the temporary happiness worth the dark thoughts that crept in the moment he hadn't heard from you for a minute? he wasn't sure. it still wasn't too late to go back to being just neighbours—you still had nothing between you two except one and a half inner jokes. it'd be easy to pretend things just didn't work out. 

yeonjun unlocked his phone, the chat with you still open on the screen. his eyes ran over the lines of the morning conversation, a soft smile appearing on his face. he wasn't sure he could do it—to pretend it just didn't work out—because it did, and your messages were perfect proof of it. he wasn't a weak man; he knew how to fight bad habits and addictions, and he could fight this one too, but… did he want to?

you, on the other hand, felt like you were shining from the inside. it seemed like the universe, destiny, fate, or whatever else was up there had heard your intentions of letting the soulmate situation go and sent yeonjun to support you along the way. maybe yeonjun was a sign, hitting you right over the head, telling you it was time to move on and focus on something else. for example, building a good friendship with someone nice and kind? it probably was. what else could it be? 

it became a regular habit—not a daily one, but yeonjun kept you company on your way to your work until the bakery at least two or three times a week, when his schedule allowed him—sometimes, his lessons started early in the morning, and he left while you were still sound asleep. he usually told you about it the morning of the previous day, adding something like “just don't miss me too much” or “i hope you won't cry on your way to work”.

yeonjun developed a habit of visiting the bakery and paying for your regular order beforehand these days, but of course, when you asked him about it, he had sworn it wasn't him—just some other kind and extremely handsome soul. perhaps the same one that paid for the pizza the first day. but you weren't going to let it slide, so whenever you both visited the bakery, it turned into a competition who could pay for both orders faster, and eventually two orders became one—to make it impossible to have a tie and to minimize the playful wrestling your competition was turning into.

what surprised you the most, though—because yeonjun's desire to pay for you didn't—was that he and soobin somehow got into contact, probably through beomgyu, and almost made a schedule. whenever soobin couldn't walk you home after working extra hours—either because he had his own plans or because you were the only one who stayed behind—yeonjun was right there, waiting for you. you knew you could tell soobin you wanted to go home alone that day, and he'd text yeonjun, telling him not to worry, but somehow, you were sure yeonjun would still come, not wanting you to walk alone when it was getting dark even before you left work. and you liked spending extra time with him, so you never fought him on it.

every time yeonjun saw you and your bright smile directed at him, he thanked his past self for deciding against pretending things between you and him didn't work out. he realized it wasn't you who was a problem despite triggering these dark thoughts, he was one—he had never really worked them through, choosing to just ignore them until they disappeared. and he thought they had, but of course they hadn't. yet somehow, it felt like just your presence was slowly healing him, motivating him to work his issues out, and it was getting better, even though he never shared his burdens with you. 

unexpectedly enough, you hadn't visited yeonjun's apartment in these two months, and he had only visited yours on the day you two talked for the first time. your schedules just didn't seem to match well enough—your nine-to-five job barely aligned with his packed weekday evenings (some days he had to rush back to the dance studio after walking you home) and almost full weekends, where he could have up to twelve hours of lessons each day. 

“as i spent two hours at your place the first day,” yeonjun once stated while walking you home, your fingers wrapped around his arm, as he held an umbrella over you both, “it'll be only fair if you spend just as much time at mine,” he threw his regular glance at you to check if you were fully shielded from rain.

it pulled you out of your head and you looked at yeonjun with a little ‘hm?’ but your brain caught up before he could repeat himself. “two hours? don't tell me you're going to set a countdown and push me out the moment it runs out,” you teased, nudging him with your elbow.

“nah, don't worry,” yeonjun assured you, poking your shoulder. “i’ll set a countdown and won't let you out until it goes out,” he paused for a second, wondering if he should say that, but jokes like that had become more or less regular between you two pretty quickly. he just hoped you'd tell him if he ever made you feel uncomfortable. “might even tie you up, hm?” 

you looked at him with ‘are you serious?’ expression, trying to contain your smile. “you're such a perv, jun,” you said, shaking your head, but you weren't serious about it, and he knew it—you often were the one to start these jokes. “how did we get from jokes about tying you up to jokes about tying me up, though?” 

yeonjun shrugged. “got to know each other better?” he was only half joking—he had enough experience to be almost completely sure where exactly you leaned on that… coordinate line. and considering you were keeping up with that direction of jokes, he assumed he was right. 

you narrowed your eyes at him—were you that obvious? “what does that mean, choi yeonjun?” you asked with mock pressure, but he only laughed, shaking his head. “are you free to hang out today?” you asked quietly, hoping he was. why would he mention it in the first place if he wasn't?

but yeonjun only shook his head, sighing. “no, sorry, mouse,” he squeezed your hand on his arm with his in an attempt to comfort you at least a bit. “i have classes in twenty minutes and almost til midnight,” he said. he hated to upset you—you never said it outright, but he could hear it in your voice. and he knew he’d hear that little hint of disappointment now too. 

of course, he did… you nodded, eyes glued to the tips of your shoes. “okay…”, you mumbled, looking at the reflection of you both in the puddles. it was his job, and he already somehow managed to find time between classes to walk you home when soobin couldn't and woke up early some days to keep you company on your way to work. you wished you could hide your emotions better, but it was difficult to pretend with him. you wanted to be sincere. “sorry. don’t think about it, okay?”

yeonjun pressed his lips together—you both still hadn't passed that stage. you could show your emotions to each other, but never really shared deep feelings, quickly pushing them away and covering them with a smile. and he couldn't ask you to open up, because he wasn't sure he would be able to do the same. “okay,” he smiled warmly at you. “i’ll record myself dancing between classes and send it to you, okay?”

you nodded, already happier—you loved watching him dance because you could see how much he enjoyed doing it, basically shining from the inside when he was doing it, his happiness almost contagious. and yeonjun enjoyed showing his skills to you too—he had only showed you his dancing in person a few times, but each time you looked at him with such awe, as if he were performing miracles rather than just moving his limbs. it fed his ego to no end, if he had to admit.

a few weeks later, though, yeonjun managed to free up his schedule a little and finally invited you to his place, swearing he didn't have any mint choco ice cream there, and you promised your pockets were free of pineapple pizzas. he had admitted he had nothing against pineapples on pizza less than a week after joking about it for the first time, and you said you were only joking about mint chocolate too, but the joke still stuck—it was your first inside joke (or the second one, after the one about yeonjun being a maniac one).

you found out he played guitar—the tips of your fingers itched at the memory, but you pushed it away—but he hadn’t played much recently, barely having time to practice anymore, so he figured he had probably lost all his skills. but yeonjun tried to remember a melody, playing it for you as you sat in his living room, watching him try to recall finger placements. and he was actually good, making you wonder why he gave himself so little credit sometimes. he was a great singer too—another skill from his middle school years—and while the highest notes weren’t his strongest suit, his soft, breathy singing was one of the nicest voices you had ever heard.

since then, yeonjun managed to free up even more time to spend it with you and his other friends—he was glad you motivated him to do it, because he realized he had been overworking himself like crazy for the past two years, taking on more classes than he could realistically handle while still enjoying his job. he could finally sleep properly too, minimizing the number of classes that started too early or ended too late, which also gave him opportunity to meet his old friends more often and spend time with you at his or your place almost on daily basis. 

it made you both slowly start opening up to each other about your current problems—work, friends, families—as you sat on the couch late at night,the room dimly lit by a paused movie or tv series on the screen, a slightly open window letting in cool air and making you wrap your blankets tighter around yourselves. all of it made the atmosphere too comfortable, almost intimate, making each of you think about the things that were burdening you and stealing the desire to keep them to yourselves when getting asked about them. 

often, you were the one who shared your burdens, and yeonjun listened, giving advice or, more often, sharing his point of view on the things you were worried about. you never expected him to be so emotionally mature, if you had to admit—he was extremely stubborn and even short-tempered some days, occasionally seemed to have issues when his authority was questioned, and you had noticed some light possessive tendencies, but his advice was always great, and most of the time, he was able to help you decipher your own feelings and emotions when you were completely confused.

yeonjun preferred to keep his burdens to himself—not just from you, but from almost everyone. he was the oldest in his friend group, and didn’t want to burden others in general, especially the ones who were younger. and, he once admitted, he also felt even more protective over you. he never said why, but you knew—he saw you weak. not in a bad way, just as someone who needed protection, and he wanted to take that role, which meant he wasn’t allowed to make you feel worse in any way, even if it was worrying about him. 

but at the same time, yeonjun tried his best to open up about things he was sure wouldn’t worry you too much—an annoying person in his class, spoiled milk because he forgot to put it back in the fridge, or a takeout order that was delivered wrong. things that made him annoyed or angry, not upset or hurt, because he was afraid you’d mirror his feelings, and being annoyed was much better than being upset. but even so, it still helped him open up more and more to you.

the only thing neither of you ever mentioned in these months was soulmates—the first slip into that topic had drawn a line you both didn’t want to cross, realizing how difficult it was even without knowing the details. mostly because it was the same for both of you. but at the same time, neither yeonjun nor you worried too much about it recently, too focused on maintaining a newly found friendship. of course, some dark thoughts still haunted you in the dead of night, but it happened much less frequently. 

wet dreams started happening more frequently, though. so often, you didn’t even bother anymore, simply going right back to sleep after waking up from another one in the middle of the night. all of them were based on the same thing—pain, which was more or less understandable, given your type of soulmate bond affected your relationship with it a lot. but you couldn’t wrap your head around yeonjun being the one in your dreams. he seemed so gentle with whatever he touched, so soft, a complete opposite of how he was in your dreams, and despite him being an extremely handsome man and everything anyone could want in a partner, you weren’t sure you were sexually attracted to him. at least, not until yet another wet dream that made you look at him differently for a few days.

for yeonjun, it was even worse—the fantasies he had been suppressing for years started creeping closer to the surface, which didn’t match well with his already naturally high libido, more free time from work, and not wanting to look for a friend with benefits or even a one-night stand. some nights he even managed to jerk off and clean up while being half-asleep, waking up in the morning with only a fleeting memory of what had happened. he felt more annoyed by it than guilty, but refused to admit it even to himself—the thought felt extremely selfish and wrong. he wasn't sure why you were the one who pushed his pain kink to the surface, unable to find an answer no matter how much time he spent thinking about it.

it became such a regular thing for both of you, that you just went about your days like nothing had changed, neither of you trying to put any distance between you. you kept getting closer, and at some point, yeonjun gave you a spare key to his apartment—he wasn't sure why, but said it felt ‘natural’. you joked that at least he wouldn’t have to worry about losing his keys anymore, before giving him a spare key to yours—it felt ‘natural' too. 

while you barely used yeonjun's, he used yours almost regularly—his uneven working schedule was giving him an opportunity to go grocery shopping in the middle of the day sometimes, so he started buying groceries for both of you, so you wouldn’t have to bother with it after work, leaving them at your place. of course, he always asked beforehand if he could come into your apartment or if you'd prefer him to keep them at his place until you could take them later, but you had no problem with him visiting your place, so you always gave the green light.

yeonjun never took it as a “permanent green light” though, and kept asking for your permission. so when one friday evening you texted him about not feeling too well and probably having a cold—just to explain why you couldn't hang out with him—he asked if he could check on you in the morning and maybe cook something for you. you agreed hesitantly, under the condition of him not getting too close to you so he wouldn't catch a cold too. you both knew perfectly well that he'd do whatever he wanted anyway, but it was obvious he wouldn't visit you without your permission. still, he'd worry his ass out if he didn’t, so you just agreed—you’d take care of him if he got sick. 

in the middle of the night, your fever got much worse, your temperature rising significantly and you were so cold, that you could do nothing except pull thick warm pajamas over the skimpy top and shorts you usually slept in and add another blanket, wrapping yourself in two of them like a hot, feverish burrito. and that was exactly how yeonjun found you in the early morning.

it was still dark, but yeonjun decided he could check your temperature in the dim glow of the city lights filtering through your window—he didn't want to wake you by turning on the bright lights, so he stepped to your bed, already feeling uneasy at the sight of how little of your face was visible between the uneven layers of blankets.  and it only got worse when he crouched down next to the bed and touched your cheek with the back of his hand—you were practically burning.

yeonjun almost jumped up, quickly slapping the nightlight lamp you had on your bedside table, the room filling with a soft yellow glow as he started unwrapping you from the layers of blankets. “come on, mouse, don't be stubborn,” he mumbled, when you tried to cling to the fabric, but he was stronger in general and you were weakened by the cold, so he had no problem uncovering you. “shit… are you trying to burn yourself alive?” he cursed, when he saw how thick your pajamas were. 

but that's when yeonjun froze, towering over you, his knee on the bed as you tried to keep warm, curling into a ball, your back facing him. he wasn't sure you were wearing anything underneath—panties, most probably, but a top…? cautiously, he slid the pajama top up your back, revealing the thin fabric of a crop top, damp with sweat and clinging to your skin. your skin felt like fire under his fingers. shit, he thought. please, don't hate me. 

he turned you on your back, trying to tug your pajama top off, but you clung to his arms with quiet sniffles. yeonjun thought his heart was breaking at the way you kept softly sobbing his name, saying how cold you were—he wasn’t even sure how you recognized him in that state, but you did. 

“baby,” he whispered, trying to lift your arms, but you only tried to wrap them around him, desperate for even a bit of his warmth. “we need to lower your temperature. please, let me take this off.”

you only whimpered his name again, your nails digging into his forearm. “jjun-ie… it’s so cold,” you sobbed quietly, and yeonjun’s heart skipped a beat—you had never called him that way before, and the way you did now made him want to protect you from everything. or give in. but he knew better. “you’re so warm…”

yeonjun hushed you, quickly throwing a glance at the medicine and glass of water on your bedside table beside the thermometer—you prepared it before going to bed. good girl. “i’ll warm you, i promise,” he murmured, pressing his palm to your side—your temperature was only getting higher. “just let me take this off, okay?” he said, tugging the pajama top up slightly. 

you nodded with a quiet ‘okay’, and yeonjun, finally getting permission even though a questionable one, pulled the over your head—at least you cooperated now—and froze with it in his hands, his eyes locked on your skin that wasn’t covered with the short top. he almost forgot how to breath. 

when he realized he had to undress you, he had told himself this was nothing, that he had seen enough women naked before, that there wouldn’t be anything new. and there wasn’t anything new. but there was something he had never expected to see—the mark. the one that resembled the one on his back. the same mark he had seen on the bodies of other wild roses he knew. half of the stem hidden beneath your top.

you were a wild rose. yeonjun felt like a complete idiot—everything had hinted at that. all the wild roses he knew disliked or even hated roses before meeting their soulmate, yet they always had something connected to roses on them. some wore jewelry, some had keychains or little paintings of one in their phone case. he had a pressed rosebud in his wallet, and you never took off a velvet bracelet that—he now realized—would look like a thorny rose stem if you laid it down. 

you had some issues with connection or your soulmate—yeonjun didn’t know the details, but he had never met a wild rose who had it easy. that type of bond being probably the least stable and the most unpredictable one. and you also tried your best to be extremely carefulб even in your clumsiest moments—that was something wild roses learned early on. and, well, you hadn’t met your soulmate, which wasn’t too strange before, but made sense now—many wild roses wandered alone for a really long time. 

yeonjun almost touched the thorn under your collarbone as if hypnotized when your sob of his name pulled him out of the haze. you sat up, reaching for him, and he was actually glad you did, because he needed you to take your medicine. he sat on the bed next to you, and you clung to him almost instantly, one of your hands slipping under his hoodie to press against his back, as you tried to warm yourself. he froze—his own mark was there, and even though you couldn’t feel it, it still made him feel weird. 

but yeonjun only adjusted your position slightly, settling you between his legs, your side pressed to his chest. he suddenly felt weak, wondering if the discovered information was already taking its toll on him. but he shook his head—not the right time to think about it. he popped the pill out and grabbed the glass, placing the medicine in your palm and guiding the glass to your hand, his own holding it over yours in case you were too weak. 

you stopped sobbing about being cold, though you still shivered and trembled slightly in his arms. maybe, the fresh air in your room had cooled you down a bit, clearing your mind, but either way, yeonjun was glad you had calmed down a bit—it made you much more cooperative. you took the medicine almost without needing his words, earning a quiet  ‘good girl’ from him, which you probably paid no attention to.

your arms were around yeonjun’s waist the moment he took the glass away from you, holding him tightly as you pressed your chest against his as much as you could in that position. he quietly asked you if he could take off your too-thick pajama pants as well, and you nodded with a quiet ‘yes’, your head resting on his shoulder, breath warm against his neck. you even lifted your hips slightly to help him pull your pants down, getting another ‘good girl' in response.

yeonjun put the thermometer into your mouth and rested his palm on your bare knee, as you pulled your legs closer to your chest, cold now as your pajamas were gone. he tried to warm you at least a little, but mostly, he let you warm yourself against him the way you wanted to, like your own personal human heater—it was the first time you two had been this close, and it was extremely close compared to the simple hello and goodbye hugs, which had been the closest you’d ever gotten. and he was too lost in thoughts anyway to think about how to warm you actively without crossing any boundaries. 

somehow, the discovery was horrifying, and mostly because yeonjun had no idea why it scared him so much. was it because it made him feel so much more protective over you, knowing perfectly how painful that type of bond could be? or because of how close it would naturally bring you together in search of comfort whenever it came to anything about soulmates? or maybe because he knew he would have to open up now and tell you who he was—because he knew who you were, and it would only be fair. because he was afraid to open that pandora’s box he called his soul. afraid to do it again, and realize, too late, that he had chosen the wrong person. one more time.

but as you finally fell asleep on his shoulder, your breathing even, your hold loosening and your skin no longer burning—the second temperature check confirming it—yeonjun knew he would never tell you how much you clung to him or how helpless you had sounded, unless you remembered it yourself. he didn't want you to feel embarrassed, especially when there was nothing to be embarrassed about in the first place. he caressed your cheek without thinking, surprising himself both with the action and with the way you instinctively leaned into his cool hand.

carefully, yeonjun laid you back down on your bed and covered you with a thin blanket, holding himself back from pressing lips to your forehead the way his mom always did to him, even when he had grown up. he got up slowly—he still felt weak, but he had to cook something for you, so you’d have something to eat when you woke up. he slapped the nightlight one more time to turn it off, and threw one last quick glance at you before leaving the bedroom. 

you were much more surprising than he could ever expect, and he had no idea what to do with these surprises. 

♡ you're here ♡ | to chapter 2 →

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[danisbrainrot]

Teen nat comforting you when you're crying about something hcs?

natalie scatorccio x reader

a/n: we're so back! after the first two episodes of season three dropped I'm inspired by this ask. it's not head canons, sorry, I just liked the idea and wanted to write a little story about it.

sorry this must be at least six months late, but here it is! camp counsellor nat :)

spoilers ahead!! (technically? I think it's just season two spoilers though)

wiping the tears from your eyes, you sniffle into your lap, hunching over to take up as little space as possible. you just wanted to be out of everyone's way, not wanting to ruin the mood with your tears. everyone else was happy and celebrating surviving winter, while you felt stuck. frozen in time, still unable to move on from how much winter took from you girls.

first jackie. then crystal. then javi. . .

now springtime has rolled around, you can't help but feel the same dread you felt throughout winter—yes, it was lovely now and your team has cultivated a livable community. however, you couldn't help but wonder what happens next winter? When akilah's animals freeze to death, gen can't find game. . . when shauna goes crazy again.

you pause, wondering when was the last time shauna was sane. then, guilt creeps in as you realise that you had no right to judge her—not after everything she lost. her best friend. her baby.

"hey, are you okay?" nat asked, crouching down to your level.

you gasp in shock, wiping more tears from your eyes. your cheeks stung with embarrassment at getting caught—nat came out of nowhere, giving you no time to recuperate. "yeah, just. . . needed to let it out."

placing a comforting hand on your back, nat tried to offer you a reassuring smile. "hey, we all understand. it can feel daunting out here. if you ever need someone to talk, I'm here."

"oh I know, your majesty," you tease, eliciting a snort from nat—you could tell she hated the title. you sigh gently, signalling you were okay. nat pats your thigh, standing up when suddenly your hand flings out to grab hers. "do you think we're awful people? for eating javi? and jackie?"

nat pauses, her face dropping significantly. she bites her bottom lip, which you find insanely attractive, before shrugging. "we did what we had to. . . to survive."

"but if that's what it takes to survive, do we deserve to?" you question, clutching nat's hand firmly. the brunette looks down at you, her expression unreadable, before shaking her head.

"all I know is that it should have been me. javi. . . I still don't believe in lottie's bullshit about the forest, but I will never forget his sacrifice."

you nod, realising your questions were hurting natalie more than you'd meant for them to. you drop your hand, resting it in your lap and watch her walk away.

she swivels her head to look at you, words on the tip of her tongue, before she shakes the thought away and walks away.

late that night, you hear a rustle outside your makeshift hut. turning to your roommate, you find gen fast asleep, so you decide to investigate by yourself. you follow a sliver of light, someone's back to you as they watch the small flames dance.

"shouldn't you put that out? it's late," you ask, sitting next to nat on the campfire log. she glances at you, her face enchantingly illuminated by the flames, taking your breath away.

"just thinking," she mumbles.

"about our conversation before?" you ask, eliciting a nod in response. you stare at the fire, wondering if it was the heat from the dying flames that burnt your cheeks or the way nat looked.

"you didn't chase me. why?" she whispers, not daring to look you in the eyes.

"when we ate jackie, it felt different. . . she was already dead and we didn't cook her, the snow did. sure, it was cannibalism but it wasn't murder. . . if I had chased you—"

"you'd have actively tried to hunt me," she replies.

"it seemed wrong, even for us," you answer.

there was a beat of silence while you watch her gaze into the flames. you felt your heart race in your chest, working up the courage to tell her what you want to say, "it goes both ways," you promise. she looks up at you confused, "if you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you. . . and I'm sure it's not easy as the antler queen, especially with whatever shauna and mari have going on."

nat erupts into laughter, shaking her head. "don't get me started on those two," she replies, before her laugh fades to a small smile. she places her hand on your shoulder, "but I like the idea. we look out for each other."

"You'll be the queen and I'll be your—wait what is it called. . . the people royalty lean on for support. . . oh, concubines?" your face drops when you notice nat's face. her eyebrows are raised and tries to cover her mouth and stifle her laughter.

nat can no longer hold it in and burst into laughter again, "that doesn't mean what you think it does," she teases.

"oh, that's the sex one. isn't it?" you mutter, lowering your head to avoid her gaze. nat tucks her hair behind her ears, making you think about how she managed to rock the grown out look. she suited blonde, brunette and a combination of both.

nat notices you watching her intensely, "what? is there something in my hair?" she asks, raking her hands through it swiftly.

"no, no. just wondering if you miss the blonde?"

"well, it's still there, isn't it?"

you snort, "yeah, but the full blonde?"

nat shrugs, "more important things to worry about," she replies candidly.

you reach out to play with the blonde hair, twirling it around your finger. unknowingly, you'd accidentally brought her face closer to yours. she didn't seem to mind, but once you realise your cheeks burn and you shuffle away from her. "sorry," you mumble.

"come here," she replies, grabbing the back of your head and pulling you close.

your lips connected seamlessly, like your lips were made for each other. she kisses you softly, a reassurance that she was here for you, while her fingers tangle themselves in your—already tangled—hair.

after what felt like only a minute—but could have been longer—nat gently pulls away, a string of saliva all that connected you two. she runs her thumb over your bottom lip, cleaning away the evidence, and offers you a wonky smile. "I suppose every queen needs her concubine after all," she jokes.

"that was amazing," you whisper, still in awe. she laughs again, resting her forehead against yours.

[thisonehere]

Please make a second part of the fic "Sleeping Beauty" I want to please my boy Smoke 👀

Finish Him

A/n: Me too, I need him in ways that haven't been scientifically discovered yet.

Tags: Request, Mk1 fanfic, Mk smut, NSFW

C/w: Blue Balls, more teasing, sexually frustrated, masturbation, oral sex (blow job), mention of bodily fluids

Last part

The rest of the day wasn't a good one for Tomas, not at all. Not after you left him to deal with that beast.

He started the morning late. Many thoughts that he just slept in late, but in actually trying his best to pleasure himself. There he was at the side of the bed stroking and rubbing himself as best he could. The room echoed with his moaning and whimpering as he chased the high of a climax.

After nearly an hour of agonizing work, he managed to reach it...but it just wasn't the same.

With a defeated sigh, he cleaned himself up and got ready to meet Honzo at the Dojo. The young man had been waiting there for a while, he had arrived an hour early to the great hall in hopes of practicing his technique before training with Tomas.

By the time Tomas arrived the boy was busy practicing his backside kick. Honzo stopped as he turned to face his mentor as he entered. "Apologies about my lateness. I was...I was busy and fell behind." He cleared his throat. "Let us begin."

---

"Correct your stance." Tomas nearly barked, Honzo had attempted a crescent kick against the punching dummy. He could deny that his poor stance caused him to balance, but it was getting harder to train with the way Tomas looked him. A harsh scowl on his face, as if he was upset about something.

"Again, harder!" These were the words Tomas would usually say to Honzo during Training, but he couldn't help but notice...venom in his words. Tomas seemed more irate than usual, not as bad as Bi-Han, he was still fairly kind to Honzo. But he seemed annoyed by something, it's like he literally woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. He wondered what could've happened this morning to agitate him so.

"That was perfect, Honzo, you've improved greatly." Tomas said after 3 hours of training. He gave Honzo a warm smile as he wiped the sweat from his brow. He seemed to have calmed down now, perhaps the training blew off some steam, calming him down a great deal. "Take a break," he huffed. "We'll meet again in 2."

He walked over to the bench to take a swing of water, until he catches something at the corner of his eye. He sees a very familiar figure pass the doorway to the training ground. You. Immediately follows after you, not giving Honzo a single look, not taking a single sip of water.

"Y/n!" He calls to you as he quickly trails behind you. A tinge of desperation can be sensed in his voice. You stop and turn to face him. Your smile is innocent, your eyes are demure, this morning didn't happen. "Um, hey." He shifts his pose, trying to look more chill and nonchalant as if he wasn't basically chasing after you a few moments ago. "Hey." You smile back at him. "So...what are you up to?"

"I'm heading to the storage room, Kuai needs a shin guards and hand wraps for a new initiate." Tomas's eyes perked up at the sound of this, as if he had an idea. "What a coincidence, I'm on my way there too." Your arch you brow in surprise, "Really?" You could've sworn you just saw him training Honzo. "Really." he assured you. With a sigh, you flash Tomas knowing smile and lead him to the storage room.

The storage room was the largest room in the entire complex. It was filled to the brim with supplies and uniforms for new recruits, it also worked as a place to hold weapons until they found an armory to put it all in. Boxes lined to 6 feet towers in rows creating entire walls. You quickly get to work finding the shin guards and wraps. Meanwhile Tomas awkwardly leans against doorframe, trying to be sexy. "Um, so, Y/n about this morning."

Your ears immediately purk up at this, you know where this is heading. Yet you play dumb. "Oh, yeah. You were telling me about how you had to train Honzo. How's that going?"

"Wonderful!" Tomas quickly jumps off the doorframe excitedly. "He's improved so much! Just a few more months and he'll be a full fledged Shirai Ryu. Actually, he'll even be the youngest-" he suddenly remembers what he was trying to do, clears his throat, and gets back to leaning against the doorframe, hoping to be sexy. "Fine. He's doing fine." He series to make his voice deeper, softer. "But I was talking about the other thing."

"Oh, is that so?" You finally find the Shin guard and wraps. You also get softer, turn to him, a sultry look finds its way onto your face. This took Tomas by surprise that he once again drops his attempts at trying to be sexy and just stand there awkwardly as you slowly advance up to him, your hips swaying here and there.

"Y-Yes, I couldn't stop thinking about it." He felt his heart skip a beat as you lay a hand to his chest. "I see. You want me to finish?" He frantically nods, his face becomes red with blush. "Yes, I would."

Your hands go from his chest, trails down his torso, and it begins to undo his pants. Tomas began to breathe more heavily as he watched.

His pants drop to the floor, and his eager member recoils upward, bouncing up and down excited at being free. You admire it for a moment, it's more than 8.5 inches long and 3.6 inches in width. You nearly lost your composure at the sight of it, he looks bigger and harder than he's ever been. His top is dripping with pre-cum. Maybe your teasing was more effective than you thought.

"I'm guessing you want me to give it a kiss?" You slowly get on your knees, licking your lips to moisten them. Tomas frankly nods, "Yes! Yes, please!" He begs, he's so desperate, it's kinda cute. "Alright." You grab his pen, both hands are required to grip. You wait and stare at it for a second, you have torture him for a little longer.

Finally, you plant a tender kiss at the tip. You even lick, the sweat from training mixed with cum gives it a nice and salty taste. Tomas's head falls back as he moans as relief is felt all over his body.

You then quickly get back up to your feet. "I better go, I have to get this to Kuai." Tomas eyes stretch open as he becomes horrified. "W-What!?! No, you can't, you have to-"

"I said I'd give it a kiss. I even went a step further with that licked." You say as you race out the door. "Y/n, please. Do you want me to beg? I'll beg! Please, just come back."

He looks down at the new problem you left him with. "Please come back." He whines to himself. Looks like he's going to be in the Storage room longer than he thought.

A/n: Aren't I just a tease? *Laughs maniacally*

Anyway, do y'all think I should do a part 3 where Y/n actually does it?

[goodolddumbbanana]

My pain in the ass Nexus is still a stubborn asshole like I remember. I love him. Please let him return and revive soon, Tsams.

Also, crack fic idea.

After having been sent to the Superhell, Nexus gets therapy. That therapy kinda makes him less cray cray than his usual self, and he kinda wants his family back. (Aka Earth, Sun and Solar, maybe Lunar. Moon can sleep inside the dog's house)

Anyway, he gets revived by Rez. And instead of haha, I'm a bad guy and I will take revenge on everyone who wrongs me!!! He just looks at his self-made clothes and his new boss and be like: You know, This... Kinda cringe.

Anyway, because he is still on Rez's leash, he couldn't go back home, as well as finding his own person and making amends for his family he hurt.

So he needs to get out, and to do that, he needs a plan, he needs someone who can help him out.

But while Solar is smart and very capable, the last time he meets, his ex bestie looks like he wants to beat Nexus to death by a toolbox. Same with Earth, because Nexus knows his sister, he knows Earth can hold a guilt for very long time.

So the last choice is Sun.

I mean, Sun is not a bad choice. His bro can resist negative star power, also he has magic. And after months of therapy, Nexus has to finally admit that Sun loves and cares about him even in his last moment.

It's just the last time they meet, Nexus has said something unforgivable, and Sun has killed him.

Heck... Things will be very awkward.

But because beggars cannot demand, Nexus decides to find Sun.

And because Nexys is still an emo boy with a level of emotions only higher than Moon and a goose, he decided to just very nonchalant say hello to Sun and act like nothing happened.

So the funny misunderstanding here is that... Sun kinda has Nexus's hallucinations for months and months.

And at first it is very angst with hallucinations of Nexus show up and say how much he hates him, inside dreams and reality.

But then eventually, hallucinations Nexus just becomes annoying, like a ghost sibling who Sun couldn't choke on.

Anyway, when the real Nexus shows up and asks for Sun help, Sun just blinks his eyes and be like: Okay, this is new.

Like Sun just thinks his hallucinations are just evolving like a Pokémon, and just flows with it.

And also Nexus has to run back before Rez notices him, so noone sees Nexus, just Sun.

Anyway, the reveal happened when Rez showed up about to gut the celestial family and get backstabbing by Nexus from behind.

Everyone looks very shocked, and they get even shocker when seeing Nexus look very friendly and waving back at them.

Nexus: Why do you guys act so strange? Sun, have you forgotten to tell them I am alive?

Earth +Lunar + Moon look at Sun with the betrayal and concern: You know you didn't tell us????

Sun: Wait...? You are real?????

Nexus:... I cook for you, Sun.

Sun: I just thought that night I became very imaginable.

Nexus: We hug!!!!

Sun: maybe it's just a dream.

Nexus: I HELPED YOU PRANK LUNAR!!!!

Lunar: Wait it was you!!!!??

Sun: Oh--- and I just thought 8 suddenly getting smart.

[fizzing-imagines]

Take Me To Church | Eddie Munson x Pastors Daughter! Reader

Notes: I have noticed that Christian girls are either incredibly sexualised or incredibly rude in most fics. So I'm here to feed you another version. Enjoy! 🤍

Words: 7.5k

Warnings: None, pure fluff!

Eddie never attended church. In fact, he avoided it like the plague. But there was one day a year he went: When Wayne made him go on Christmas Eve. He said it's "Part of Christmas, and the reason why you get a present in the first place.", so Eddie couldn't argue about that with his uncle. So he sat in the pew, surrounded by hundreds of strangers who all probably felt the same as Wayne. And the situation gave him a little laugh when he saw Gareth in the pew behind him, all dapper in a suit his mother made him wear.

He did have another feeling besides some fun; Adoration.

Eddie first saw you when you stood behind the podium to read the story of how Mary got pregnant and Jesus was born. You wore a white veil over half your hair, that just made your (Y/H/C) locks look even more beautiful. A small blush played on your cheeks, which made your (Y/E/C) eyes stand out more. For the first time, Eddie actually listened while sitting in church. He was so fascinated by your voice, he'd listen to you all day even if you were just reading from the Bible. And when you stepped down from the podium, your red, long skirt did a small bounce with every step you took. How has he never noticed you before? You must be around his age, and Hawkins High was the only school in town.

His eyes kept wandering over to you, watching how you sat next to the preacher with a woman that looked an awful lot like you. Is that your mother?

He heard your angelic voice again when you made the announcements at the end. Again, he listened closely to your beautiful voice, even if the information given didn't matter to him. He left church happy, for the very first time. And with actually knowing the story of Jesus for the first time in his life.

When everyone returned to school after the holidays, Eddie kept an eye out for you. It only took him until his third period to see you walking into his world class. How has he never noticed you before? Sure, you dressed pretty modest and not in a way that would draw attention. But your face. How could he never see your beautiful face? Now that you had your hair up in a ponytail, he could see your pretty features even better. And he knew it had to be you when he saw the gold cross charm hanging on your necklace.

He had to admit to himself that he had an immediate crush on a church girl. Out of all people.

But how would be talk to you? There is no way that you'd actually wanna hang out with him. But faith, or maybe even God himself, played into his hands that day when the teacher announced a partner project. She put teams together by drawing names from a bowl.

"Edward Munson and (Y/N) (Y/L/N)." You looked up in an attempt to find Edward. You've never heard his name before, but quickly saw him when he gave you a small wave. Once you two pushed your tables and chairs together, the teacher announced the assignment: a presentation about a historical figure from any country and time. That sounds fun!

Everyone in class started chatting, and so did you. "Do you have an idea?" Honestly, Edward looked a bit lost. "So, I was thinking maybe Amelia Earhart or Harriet Tubman. Unless you have any ideas, of course." You are so nice and chirpy, Eddie thought. How adorable.

"I know embarrassingly little about historical figures.", he admitted. But despite that confession, you still smiled. "That's okay, we all have our interests. I really enjoy reading about women in history, so I can give you some suggestion and we can choose together." How were you so kind? It amazed him.

You took your notebook out and wrote down a few names, then turned it to show him. With a lot of patients, you gave him a quick rundown of every woman in history you could report about. From Joan D'Arc, to Queen Elizabeth I, all the way to Anne Frank. He appreciated your patience, and getting to listen to your sweet voice was a nice bonus. In the end, the two of you agreed on Mary, Queen of Scots.

"I have a few books on her, maybe you can come over after school?", you suggested in a chirpy tone. How are you so nice? "Just, uhm...maybe see what you wear. I think it's up to you to wear what makes you happy, but my dad is a pastor, and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable." Eddie looked down at his Hellfire Shirt and the pins in his jean jacket. "I'll find something else, I think.", he said with a slight grin. How adorable was it that you warned him. "But he'll like your ring.", you said with a giggle while pointing at the thick, cross-with-skulls ring Eddie had on his pointer. "Oh yeah?", he said with laughter laced in his voice. "You like it, too?" You giggled at that. "I think I do." You leaned foward a bit. "Yeah, it's pretty!"

When he left class that day, he's never felt happier. He didn't know projects could actually be fun. You two agreed to meet the next evening at your house for the project and dinner. Eddie truly has never been more excited to eat at somebody elses home.

"Good evening.", he greeted the woman that opened the door. It was the same woman who sat next to you in church, so he figured that she was your mother. He didn't notice her pregnant belly last time, but now he did. "Good evening, you must be Eddie." Her voice was just as calming and relaxed as yours. Now he knew where you got it from. "Yeah, I'm here to do the project with (Y/N)." She nodded and hurried him inside before giving him a pair of single-use slippers.

"Honey, your friend is here!", your mother yelled upstairs. He heard some footsteps coming downstairs at a quick pace, then you stood before him. "Hey Eddie.", you chirped. "Dinner's ready in 30 minutes, show him around in the meantime.", your mother advised before walking back in the kitchen. You nodded and started showing him around. The living room was massive, and he was a bit confused once he saw 12 chairs at the large dining room table. It all made sense when he saw pictures upon pictures of your family hanging next to the stairs. "You have a lot of siblings.", Eddie commented while taking a look. Since this was a pretty normal reaction, you giggled a bit. "I have 11 siblings, and mum is having number 12 soon." He actually stopped in his tracks. In some way, he assumed there were a few uncles and aunts in the family pictures. Those were all your siblings?! And you saw his surprised face, so you took a picture down and sat on the stairs with him. It was one you took at your youngest brothers baptism last year. "So the baby is Isaiah. He's a bit over a year old right now." And that's how he learned all your siblings names, ages and that three of your eldest brothers and sisters stayed in Arkansas which he also now knew you were originally from. "Oh, I'm sorry, I tend to be a chatterbox. I didn't ask, do you have siblings?" He barely recovered from the infodumping, which made him fumble over his words a bit until he found then again. "No, I'm an only-child.", he mumbled while scratching his neck in embarrassment. "I live with my uncle." To you, that was fascinating. You never heard about that. "Is it nice?", you kept asking curiously. He huffed out a laugh. "Yeah, Wayne is cool.", he simply said. It didn't seem like he wanted to talk about his family much, so you let it be. "I'll show you my room!", you said excitedly while getting up. He was infatuated by how excited you were about everything. How can a person be this happy all the time? And why did it make him happy to simply be in your presence, aside from your beauty?

Your room was very prim and proper. What stood out were the multiple crosses in various sizes, styles and colours hanging above your bed. "You're very religious, aren't you?", he joked. "Can you tell?", you giggled. He had another look around and saw your overstuffed bookshelf. "That are the books I told you about." With ease, you pulled out three books. "We'll need those later.", you mumbled while putting them on your desk. "Oh, I'm assuming we'll do the project in the dining room because I can't have boys in my room for too long." He may have judged a bit with any other girl, but when you said it, it was adorable. When you looked over at him, there was this dreamy look on his face. Eddie looked...really cute like this. It made your stomach feel a bit tingly.

"Dinner's ready!", you two heard from downstairs. That snapped you out of your funny feeling, and you walked downstairs with Eddie. He could smell the food already, and honestly didn't know how hungry he was until that moment. And then, his stomach audibly grumbled once you two sat down next to each other. All of your siblings living in the house either came running along or were carried by another family member to be put in their high chair. He noticed that your father wasn't there, but he might just be caught up at work. Although he was still glad he picked an AD/DC shirt, since your mother was just as Christian.

Overall, it was unusual to Eddie, from the harmony going on to the sheer amount of people in this house. It really didn't look that big on the outside, where were all these rooms?

"We pray before we eat.", you whispered to him while taking his hand and that of your sibling sitting on your right. Even though it was just for praying, he loved holding your hand. And then it happened; his crush on you was settled.

Eddie couldn't stop thinking about that day. You were so sweet to him, although you had every reason to be mean like the basketball guys. And now, whenever you walked into class, you gave him a wide smile. Except today, where you walked up to him. "Hey, do you wanna eat lunch together? My mum packed me some extra." He loved the food your mother cooked last time, how could he say no?

You two sat at a table, seperate from both your usual peer groups. "Some Mac n' Cheese and home-made bread with home-made butter.", you said with your signature smile while sliding the two plastic containers over to him. "Does she always cook from scratch?", he asked while opening the food. You nodded as you picked up a fork-full of mac n' cheese. "Pretty much. I don't really remember not seeing her do it herself, except when I got a new sibling. Then the oldest usually orders takeout, so our parents don't know." The way you giggled as this, like it was the worst thing you could think of doing behind your parents back, was adorable. You're so innocent and pure, the complete opposite of him. "So you get to order takeout with this baby?", he asked after swallowing a bite from the bread and butter. Again, you giggled and squealed a bit. "I do! I'm so excited!" Eddie couldn't help but laugh at your adorable antics. "I'm going to get pizza for everyone, I love pizza." Honestly, he'd get this excited over pizza, too. All this excitement made you a bit irrational - you've been thinking a lot about why being with Eddie made your stomach tingle. It just didn't make sense, what would make you feel so funny? "Do you maybe wanna come over for dinner again? Even without the project?"

"I would like that.", he replied. "Promise I put on my most Christian clothes." You looked down at the shirt he was wearing, which read 'Black Sabbath' in bold letters. "Yeah, my dad might think it's a bit...controversial.", you agreed. It still surprised him that it didn't bother you enough to a point where you'd eat lunch with him. "Maybe tomorrow? If that's fine with you."

It was more than fine with him. He may even had a little skip in his step when he walked up to your house the next night. It was a bit more chaotic this time, with some toys laying in the front yard. Your father opened the door for him this time, but he gave you just as much of an inviting smile as your mother did last time. "You must be Munson's kid.", he said while making space for him in the doorway. How did he know him? "I am, sir.", Eddie replied before stepping in. It didn't take long for him to hear squealing kids and laughter from every corner. "(Y/N) is in the living room, I assume you know the way."

The second he turned the corner, Eddie saw you with a child on your hip. You looked beautiful like this. "Hi Eddie!", you said in a happy tone. "Look Isaiah, Eddie's back!" Against his expectations, the toddler grinned when he saw him. "I'm glad you're here. Mum's not feeling well, so dad is making dinner tonight and I'm helping with the young ones. I hope you don't mind." He shook his head no before looking around and seeing all the toys laying around. "I don't mind kids.", he stated while you two sat down on the couch. At least he wanted to, until a loud "BAA!" came from underneath his butt. Eddie jumped up to see the stuffed lamb he accidentally sat down on. Both you and your brother giggled. "Sorry, that's Isaiahs.", you giggled while taking it away. Reluctantly, he sat back down on the couch while watching you tickle your brothers nose with the lamb. It was adorable to witness.

"What's with Christians and lambs?", he blurted out. He saw so many lambs in your house and whenever he drove by church. Especially during Easter time. But that question made you happy, you loved talking about your religion!

"John the Baptist called him the lamb of God, because he came down to die for our sins. Kinda like a sacrificial offering." Eddie didn't even know who John the Baptist was, but he was just happy to see you talk in such a chirpy tone. He was quickly pulled out of his thoughts my your siblings running downstairs while screaming.

"Hey, turn it down! Mum is sleeping!", you scolded the three kids. Even while telling them off, your voice remained soft. "I wanna see mommy!", the girl said with a pout. "I know Hannah, but she's exhausted from growing another baby.", you explained to her. She waddled over and sat down next to Eddie with a curious look. "You're back.", she said with big doe eyes looking up at him. "Why do you have hair like a girl? Do you wanna be a girl?" Her tiny hands reached out to touch his hair, but you leaned over to scold her again. "Hannah, we don't judge people. That makes God unhappy." Now he knew why you haven't judged him once. "We talked about this."

Hannah grumbled and crossed her arms before her chest before walking off with a huff.

"She's quite the character.", Eddie chuckled. Honestly, he loved getting to know your family better. There wasn't much chance for it last time. "I love her to pieces, but she's in an exhausting phase right now." At least Isaiah was contempt in your arms with his stuffed animal. "Makes me question if I actually want that many kids, honestly."

"Do you want that many?", Eddie asked, a bit shocked. You giggled at his surprised expression. "Not 13. Maybe 5 or 6." That was still a lot, although less than half of what your mother went through. "Do you wanna have kids?" He sighted and leaned back against the couch. "I don't know...maybe. I don't have much experience with babies." You bit the inside of your cheek while watching him. Why did his eyes show some sort of fear. "Here, hold him.", you said. Eddie couldn't even protest before you plopped your baby brother into his arms. "That's your experience, congratulations." Isaiah looked up at Eddie and cooed before leaning against his chest. It was adorable, honestly. "How does it feel?" Instinctively, he started stroking your little brothers head with one hand while the other one was on his back to avoid an accident. "You're witty.", he said with a grin. "It's not so bad."

"Even a Hannah has her good moments.", you said. "I'm not trying to convince you or anything, but I'm just saying that kids can be a blessing." Did you actually try not to convince him? Why was it so important to you that he wanted kids? And why did you feel so warm inside when you saw Eddie with your little brother?

While you were starring at the floor while stuck in your head, he got to see that beautiful expression on you. With your eyebrows a bit knitted and part of your tongue sticking out while thinking. Did you always do that? Did he just never notice before? How adorable.

"Dinner's ready!", your father yelled from the dining room. Eddie got up with you, brother in arm, and walked right behind you.

"That's not what I usually listen to.", Eddie said in a chuckled tone while looking through your vinyl collection. It mostly consisted of Keith Green, Petra and 2nd Chapter of Acts. "What do you listen to?", you asked curiously while standing behind him. From his shirts, you knew a bit but not everything. He turned around to face you, and accidentally very closely so. Did he always smell this good? Did you always look this cute?

"Oh, uhm...", he started stuttering. "Like, uh...Metallica, for example. Or Iron Maiden, and Aerosmith." You listened, and looked fascinated while doing so. Considering your family and what he saw in your music collection, this probably felt like discovering a whole new universe. "Can you show me some time?", you asked in a sing-song voice. He let out a small laugh and scratched his neck. "Sure, uhm...maybe after school tomorrow? I can drive you home if you want." You nodded in agreement. "That sounds lovely, Eddie."

You couldn't sleep that night. All that was running through your head was Eddie driving you home. Why did it feel so exciting? Why did he feel so exciting? No amount of tossing and turning, praying or reading your bible helped making you sleepy.

You groaned into your pillow and got up again to find anything to do. But your room was clean, you couldn't even concentrate on a simple prayer and you finished your homework.

The slippers helped with quieting your steps while sneaking downstairs. Maybe some warm milk and honey would help. Although your mother standing in the middle of the kitchen scared you a bit and made you yelp out. "I'm sorry, honey.", she quickly apologised. "Why are you up?"

"Why are you up?", you asked back. It wasn't until then that you saw the plate of leftovers on the kitchen counter. "Growing a baby makes a woman hungry at the oddest times, honey." You giggled a bit before walking to the fridge and getting out milk. "I can't sleep, my head won't stop thinking." She leaned against the kitchen counter with the plate in her hands. That was your mother - she knew something new was rattling in your brain. "Thinking about what? Or who?" She hit a bulls eye with the who. While putting a cup of milk in the microwave, you started telling her all about your thoughts. That ever since Eddie offered to drive you home, you couldn't stop thinking about him. How you noticed that he smelled nice, and you wanted to get to know more about him for no apparent reason. That you thought the curiosity you felt wasn't about that he lived much differently than you, but more about him as a person. Once you were done with your talking and finished your milk with honey, she couldn't help but chuckle.

"I felt that way about a boy too when I was your age.", she said with a half-full mouth of food. That made you peak up in interest. "What did you do?"

"I'm currently having his 13th baby."

Were you in love? It would explain why you didn't know this feeling yet. With being at church your entire childhood and having only girl-friends, it made sense. "It's called having a crush, honey. It was ought to happen to you, and it's nothing bad. It can be really nice, actually." It didn't feel much nice when you couldn't sleep, but it felt good when your stomach tingled. "Is it like love?", you asked curiously. Your mother chewed on her noddles while thinking. "Not necessarily. But it can turn into love." With a hum, you started drinking your milk and thinking about her words.

"I saw the way he looks at you, honey. Try to find a good moment to tell him. You might regret it if it's to late." She kissed you on your forehead and smiled. "Go to bed, pray about it, find your inner strength. You have a lot of it."

"I don't think dad would like him very much...in the long run.", you confessed. Eddie was not who your father wanted for you. If it all went according to him, you'd marry someone from your church, who would listen to Keith Green with you while doing puzzles. A nice Christian boy. But you doubted that Eddie was even baptised. "Let me handle your father. I know a few tricks."

"That's so loud!", you squeaked while Eddie drove out of the parking lot. Currently, Iron Maiden was booming out of his speaker as he drove you home. "A good loud?", he asked with a grin. It was adorable whenever you were excited. "Yes, a good loud!" You were practical bouncing in your seat to the music. "I didn't think I'd like that!" It hit every part in your brain just right to satisfy you. You knew you couldn't listen to this at home, and maybe the lyrics weren't exactly biblical, but it tingled in your brain just right.

Meanwhile, Eddie watched you from the corner of his eye. Your bouncing, your giggling, the wide grin, yoir squealing. Everything about it was adorable. You were adorable. Who knew someone could look this adorable while listening to music about slaughtering humans?

"If you like this, you're really gonna like Metallica.", he said with a chuckle.

"It gets better?!"

Eventually, Eddie parked in your driveway and turned off the music. While picking up your bag from the foot well, you saw a magazine laying there. "What's that?", you asked. The first thing you saw was the word 'Satanic' in bold, red letters, then that it was a Newsweekly. You picked it up from the ground and skipped over the pages to find the article advertised on the cover. "Oh, that..." This might be the moment he fucks this all up. You enjoying being around him, your cute giggles and adorable grin. "We read it in our club...it's kinda..."

"Dungeons and Dragons?", you asked, bit confused. The article explained that it was a satanic game, made to infiltrate American kids and how it depicted satanic rituals, the devil, torture and murder. It took you a while, but you eventually put two and two together. "Is that what you do in your club?" There was some upset in your voice, but it was more of a sad one.

Is this really the person you had a crush on? This is what he spends his free time with?

"Well, yes.", he said while scratching the back of his neck out of nervousness. "But it's really not as satanic, or whatever, as it sounds there." Eddie still saw your confused look and furrowed brows that read disappointment. You took a deep breath in and closed the magazine. "It just sounds...scary to me." He did understand that. You were shielded from most those things, at least that's what it sounded like from what you told him about your childhood.

"Maybe, if you want to, you can tag along to a game?", he suggested. Your head shot up at that, causing you to look at him like a deer in headlights. Eddie could see how unsure you were just by looking into your eyes. Naturally, it scared you. Once you read the wors 'Satanic', it was ought to scare you off. Your dad was a pastor, after all. Meanwhile, he also remembered what you told your younger sister: "We don't judge people, that makes God unhappy.". That wad basically what he held on to right now.

"Maybe you can change my mind.", you said with a small smile. After all, you had a crush on him. Why shouldn't he able to show you what he enjoyed? "I could tag along next time your club me-" You got cut off by your own words. How would you explain it to your parents? Should you...lie? But that's not allowed, isn't it?

Meanwhile, Eddie was confused by your sudden quietness. He understood what you were going for, but it didn't seem like you wanted to finish your sentence.

"I would like to have you at the next campaigns.", Eddie said with a small smile. You nodded quietly and finally grabbed your bag. "I'll ask if I can.", you mumbled. Honest to God, you were still unsure about this. "I'll tell you tomorrow, yeah?" A small smile played on Eddie's lips at your words. "Alright. I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Thanks for taking me. And showing me your music." Regardless of everything he just told you, you still smiled at him before leaving the van.

You did make a decision, and told a small lie to your parents. Or at least not the entire truth. They thought you stayed longer at school so you could see what Eddie's club was up to, but left out the details of the exact game. When they questioned you, you just told them they'd he playing a board game.

So there you were, sitting between Eddie and Gareth while watching what the group (or how Eddie said they call it, Party) was doing. The story went that they, or their characters, were in a town called Saltmarsh and had to find out the secret of an abandoned house. For the first 30 minutes, you quietly watched and listened. Until they all got on a boat and Eddie started talking about the monsters appearing. He set down a figurine on the board, but that one simply confused you. Especially with everyone else being upset by seeing it.

"Whats that?", you asked curiously with knitted brows. "That's a dragon turtle", Gareth said, like it was obvious to you. It was, in fact, not. "Dragon...turtle?" Does it spit underwater fire? Where are it's wings? "A really big turtle.", Eddie said, knowing it was the easiest way for you to understand. "Oooh.", you said quietly. Now you see it. Everyone around the table laughed, until Eddie said their ship was wrecked by said Dragonturtle. That's when the laughter died down, and rather quickly at that.

It got even worse when Sirens appeared. You only knew about mermaids, so the concept of Sirens confused you a bit. But you understood the idea rather quickly.

And unfortunately for Gareth, his character got lured in by them. "Why me?!", he yelled in an upset tone while looking absolutely lost. "That's what lust gets you.", you commented, which made Eddie burst out laughing. You didn't know that he had Gareths character be lured in because he was actually the biggest horndog of the entire group, which made your words even funnier.

For whatever reason, your questions and absent-minded comments made the entire campaigns funnier for everyone. It showed Eddie that you actually enjoyed DnD, even though he saw you clutching your cross necklace every one in a while. Later in the car, you were grinning from ear-to-ear.

"Someone had fun.", he said while buckling his seatbelt. "That was so much fun!", you squealed. "I could've watched even longer! That was not what I was expecting!"

Your expression was adorable. He could kiss your pretty face just from looking at you like this. "Maybe we can find a campaign you'd like.", he suggested. That made your face light up even more. "You'd do that for me?"

Eddie would do just about anything for you at this point. He had to face that his crush was growing into falling in love. How could he not?

"Sure, if you want.", he started the car and drove to your house. His plan was to make a campaign just for you and have everyone tag along, but you didn't need to know that yet.

You kept going on and on about how much fun you had, and that you didn't understand the article from Newsweekly. But your words abruptly stopped when you saw your dad's car missing in the driveway. "What's wrong?", Eddie asked you. You've seen this scenario many times before, at this point it could only mean one thing if both cars were gone by this time. Plus, you knew he didn't work late today. "Mom's having the baby.", you mumbled. He couldn't bring anything out but an "Oh."

"It's fine. I'll get in and see how the kids are." You smiled at him while opening the passenger door. "See you tomorrow! Thank you for today!"

But he didn't see you tomorrow. You didn't come to school, or the day after. Maybe something happened with your mother? Eddie decided to drive over to your place after his second period. When you opened the door, you looked beyond stressed. Hair in a messy ponytail, baggy clothes and worn-out slippers. "Oh thank God, Eddie.", you groaned in relief. "Can you help me, please?"

He came inside to see a mess in the living room. Toys scattered everywhere, snack packaging on the floor and crumbs on every surface humanly possible. Your two youngest brothers was quietly playing in his playpen, but that was the only thing that seemed to calm you. "What's going on?", he asked in a concerned tone. Your house was always clean, or at least only a bit lived-in, when he was over. Never like this. "I have to do this all by myself, I can't do it." You were so close to tears, holding them back barely worked. "It was so easy in Arkansas, we had my aunts and uncles to help." Instinctively, he pulled you into a hug. You didn't mind it at all, it was just what you needed right now. Some tears rolled down your cheek and into his shirt. Eddie felt the wet spot on his top, but he didn't mind. Not when you were so worn-out. "It's gonna be alright, I'll help you.", he promised while still holding onto you.

"Thank you.", you sniffled while whiping your eyes with the back of your hands.

While picking up some of the toys, you told him what you have to do today. "I have to pick up three of them from middle school, one from high school and three from elementary. Then, three of the girls have cheerleading and two of the boys have softball. Sara wants to go to the arcade with some friends as well, and...oh, I need groceries." Your hand ran over your hair. Eddie put the books in his hand back in the bookshelf and walked over to you. "You pick up the kids from elementary, I'll pick them up from middle- and highschool. But we still have some time, so let's clean and get groceries. Okay?" How was he so level-headed right now? To be fair, he hasn't been stuck like this for over a day. It was all growing over your head.

"I'll get the boys ready.", you said. "I'll help.", he replied. It wasn't an offer, it was a decision. Jonah was walking already and wandered into the hallway with Eddie, while you put Isaiah in his overall on the couch.

You four got the grocery shopping done in no time. There was honestly something about watching Eddie with your brothers in the cart, pushing them through the isles with you. You never understood what your friends meant when they said a boy did something attractive until that very moment. It stunned you, so much so that you were just kinda starring at him when he asked you what kind of milk you needed.

"(Y/N)?", he asked. Yet you kept starring. "You okay?"

"I have a crush on you.", you blurted out. While he looked at you with a lightly shocked face, you covered your mouth with your hand. "I-I...", you stuttered, not knowing how to come back from that. Eddie's expression went from shocked to soft, with a smile playing on his lips. "I have a crush on you, too.", he said. Butterflies were flying around in both your stomach, and there was some kind of electric tension between you two. Should you kiss him? Can you kiss him?

"Sissy, choco milk?", Jonah interrupted the moment. It made the two of you look over at him. His small, chubby arm was pointing at a bottle of chocolate milk. "You have to share, okay Jonah?", you said to him while putting it in the cart. "Can we talk about this again later?", Eddie asked you. Both of you were aware that the middle of a grocery store was possibly the worst time and place. "Sure.", you replied with a small smile. Since both of you liked each other, you were hoping for a good outcome. And so was he.

Once everyone was back home from their after-school activity, you put pizza as dinner on the table and did the dishes with Eddie, you both crashed on the couch. Jonah and Isaiah were playing on the floor while the others either went to do their homework or play together.

"Thank you, Eddie. Really, I wouldn't know what I would do without you." His hand found yours and squeezed it. "I'd do anything for you...because I like you a lot." It all circled back to that moment at the grocery store from earlier. Just him holding your hand made you wanna giggle. "So, when I like you too...should we be...a couple?", you stuttered. As he was about to reply, the phone rang.

"Biscuits.", you mumbled in a frustrated tone while getting up. It was your father calling from the hospital, telling you your mother had a little girl they named Bethel. Finally, another girl. "I'll be home tonight, your mother had a long labour and needs to rest." Of course she did, she'd been gone for almost two days. "Okay, I'll see you then...oh, dad?"

"Yes, honey?"

"Can I...kiss before marriage?" There was some silence on the other line before he cleared his throat and talked. "It's okay as long as it doesn't lead to...more. Why?" How would you explain that one.

"Just wondering.", you lied. You lied?! "Bye dad, love you. Tell mom we miss her."

Eddie's head peaked up when he saw you walking back around the corner. "What was it?", he asked. You sat back down next to him and got comfortable. "Dad called, mom had the baby. Her names Bethel." He smiled at that. "That's nice, (Y/N)." Neither of you could believe that your talk kept getting interrupted.

"I would like to be your boyfriend.", he finally said. A grin spread on your face and a squeal left your mouth. "I want you to be my boyfriend!" He laughed at your excitement while letting you jump into his arms. "I'm the happiest girlfriend ever!" One of his hands pet your upper back while the other stroked your hair.

Eddie couldn't remember the last time he was this happy.

"Honey, does it have to be Eddie?", your father asked. A few days after your mother came back from the hospital with baby Bethel, you decided to tell them. "It's already Eddie, dad.", you said confidently. Luckily, your mother was on your side. She liked him, she saw how happy you were and knew he helped out while they were gone. "I just really hoped you'd find a Christian man.", he explained. "It's gonna be hard for him to adjust."

"He selflessly helped her while we weren't here, he has the right values.", your mom spoke up. "She's happy. Remember how I was when we met?" Admittedly, you didn't know much about her youth. She barely talked about it. But it seemed like that argument made your father quiet down quickly. "He's on probation." was his final word before walking off.

"We won that one.", your mother said with a grin while giving you a fistbump.

You two had a beautiful couple of weeks so far. Eddie made a campaign about a crusade just for you, he introduced you to Wayne and even came to church with you once so far. He seriously thought just hanging out with him made you happy, but you wouldn't stop smiling and laughing after the service. How could you get even cuter?

Your father came around eventually. He told you to invite him as often as possible and started treating him like his own son. The moment Eddie held your sister Bethel for the first time was the moment you knew he was the one for you. You knew you wanted to see him like this, but with your own child.

Finally, you could convince your parents to let him sleep over. Of course they had conditions; no making out, leave the door open, no touching below the hips. It was understandable to you, Eddie needed a bit of time to understand. In the end, he was just happy to kiss and cuddle you all night. So after dinner, you two went upstairs to watch a movie in your room.

He spooned you while looking at the screen, on which E.T. played. Although neither of you really cared much about the movie when you finally got to be so close together for the very first time. Eddie couldn't stop playing with your hair, kissing your lips, holding you close. You're all he ever wanted. But with all this kissing and cuddling, you remember that you had to have a talk with him.

"Eddie.", you said in a hushed tone. His head peaked up from behind you in curiosity. "Hmm?", he mumbled. "I know you might expect some...things.", you started. "But I don't think I'd want that before marriage." Your boyfriend knew what you meant. "Are you sure?", he asked. Honestly, he was nervous about his first time with you. It wouldn't be the first time he had sex with someone, but this was different. This was you. The person he was set on spending the rest of his life with. Maybe having to wait for a while wasn't a bad decision. "I don't know.", you whispered that part, since your door was still open. "Probably. Very likely." His response was a kiss to the back of your head. Although he might bring it up again in a few months; he was glad he didn't have to be nervous about that for now. "That's okay, my little lamb.", he mumbled. "But we can still kiss, no?"

You rolled over to face him with a small smile on your lips. "We can kiss, we can cuddle, most things that don't involve...that."

"You mean sex?", he teased you with a grin. "Edward Munson!", you scolded him with a playful slap to his shoulder. "My parents can hear you.". Your boyfriend couldn't help but still giggle at your blushed face with that tone in your voice. "Sorry, honey.", he apologised while kissing your temple. "But it's cute when you get flustered."

"You said I get flustered at everything.", you giggled. His fingers ran over your waist, tickling you a bit in the process. "Because you do, my little lamb."

"I don't!", you argued back. His fingers dug into your waist, making you squeam and giggle. "Eddie!", you laughed out while he kept tickling you. "Eddie, you're mean!" Your boyfriend eventually stopped tickling you and pulled you back into a hug. "Yes you do, that alone made you flush."

"Because I was laughing.", you said with a small pout. It was adorable to look at. "Sure, honey.", he chuckled before kissing you again. "I love you."

You starred at him for a bit. This was the first time he said that to you; and it felt even better than you ever imagined. "I love you, too." One of his fingers stroked along your cheek while he smiled down at you and looked at your lips. "Good."

Your graduation passed, your one-year anniversary passed, and another one of your siblings was born. Was your mother ever done having kids?

A few days before Valentines day, Eddie came to visit your parents while you were at work in the church.

"What's going on?", your mother asked him while sitting down at the dinner table with him and your father.

"Well, me and (Y/N) have been together for a while now, and I want to spend the rest of my life with her." This wasn't the first time your parents had this kind of talk; it already happened with your older sisters husband a few years ago. "And I wanted to ask for your permission to propose to her."

Both of them started smiling at his words, your mother more than your father. "You have our permission to propose.", he said to Eddie. "But, we want her to marry in the church. You would have to get baptised for that. That's my only condition."

To Eddie, that sounded more than fair. He'd do anything to be with you for the rest of his life. "Alright, I'll get baptised before the wedding."

Three days later, the both of you were out on a date. Eddie was never one to take you to restaurants, but rather to fun places like aquariums or carnivals. That was more his setting, and you were okay with that. So for Valentines Day, he took you to an aquarium. Watching you mesmerised by the fishes, giggling while getting to pet a stingray and squealing when a shark swam over your head was about the most beautiful thing he could watch. Eddie was head over heels in love with you and never wanted that to change. So while you were watching a shoal of sweepers swim by, he took a small step back, pulled out the little velvet box and got down on one knee. "Eddie look, a clownfish!", you said excitedly while looking beside you. Why wasn't he there. With a bit of confusion, you turned to look for him, only to see him kneeling. "Eddie...", you whispered, close to tears.

Unfortunately, he couldn't find his words. His nerves got the best of him, and all he could so is look at you and open the box. You knew him well enough, and kneeled down to his level. "Yes, Eddie. I'll marry you.", you whispered, now crying. With a shaky hand, he placed the small diamond ring on your finger before kissing you. Both of you were so happy right now, so much so that you didn't notice that other visitors of the aquarium watched and started clapping.

This day was one of the best days of your life.

When you sat in the pew a few weeks later and got to watch Eddie being baptised by your father, that came close to the proposal. He was doing this for you. That's how special you were to him - all so he could marry you. So he could spend the rest of his life with you. It made your heart swell, and you were the first to clap once the water was sprinkled on his forehead.

Eddie loved you so much, you couldn't believe all he was doing just for you.

"Honey, before we order the dress, I gotta ask you." Your mother turned the corner of your parents living room, where you both were sitting to plan your wedding. Once you two were officially married, you'd move into a small apartment of your own to spend actual alone-time in.

"Do you want special underwear for your wedding? We can order it with the dress, it makes shipping cheaper." To you, that sounded good and you stood up to look through the catalog. But Eddie realized something in that very minute.

He meant to ask you about having sex before marriage a year ago. He never build up the courage because he was too nervous to do bad.

Eddie accidentally waited for you until marriage.

[jo-harrington]

Corroded Coffin Fest Valentine's Day Pop-Up: It's Complicated

Summary: Jeff, Gareth, and Dave all confront their feelings on the 30th anniversary of Eddie's death.

Word Count: 2189

Rating: M

Warnings/Themes: Grief, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Time Skip, Older!Corroded Coffin, Canonically Dead Eddie, Mention/Implication of Kas!Eddie, Post-Season 5 World/Vecna Defeated

Notes: Thanks to @corrodedcoffinfest for this wonderful pop-up. Oh I've been contemplating what to write for this for a while.

Dedicating this to my beloved @dr-aculaaa who had an idea as we were chatting about art. Has had me noodling for weeks at this point, and although this is not necessarily in line with that idea, it's a spin on it.

This can be read on it's own...but I would like to think that it can also be read as a bit of an off-shoot of my fic, As Above, So Below. There are no real plot spoilers for AASB, I just think it could happen.

You can find my masterlist here.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

Hawkins, Indiana - March 2016

They didn't want to do it, but they knew that they had to.

They needed the closure, and 30 years was a long time to wait for it.

Because you don't stop thinking about the week your life changed forever.

The reunion almost didn't happen; they hadn't talked or seen one another in person in so long. It was the miracle, known as Facebook, that got them talking regularly again. Sending videos back and forth, commenting on each others throwback Thursday photos.

High school, then college, then jobs and families and vacations. Lives lived separate, when in another universe they might've stayed on the same trajectory together.

"Remember when we thought we were gonna hit it big?" Dave laughed sardonically after they'd greeted each other with handshakes and hugs and tears. They'd laughed and pointed out this beer gut and that thinning hairline. "Now I help people plan for retirement."

"Didn't think you were smart enough for that, Davey," Gareth chuckled, causing the older man to grab for him to try and put him in a headlock, just like he did when they were younger.

It was a beautiful day. Sun and fluffy cumulus clouds, unseasonably warm for March but none of them could complain about it.

"Leave it to us to not see each other in decades and we start off the conversation about the weather."

"You can take the boys out of the midwest but you can't take the midwest out of the boys."

They'd settled into lawn chairs, courtesy of Gareth, who hauled them all the way back to Indiana in his soccer-dad-minivan.

"Soccer, huh?" Jeff questioned mirthfully.

"Laugh it up," Gareth snorted. "I also have a kid that's an absolute menace. Couldn't be caught dead playing sportsball."

"Takes after Uncle Eddie, then, huh?"

They all went silent at that.

Because there were only three lawn chairs.

Three lawn chairs and a headstone.

They sat in front of it as though it was a television set, but there was only one thing on display.

Edward J. Munson Beloved Son, Nephew, and Friend.

The stone was chipped, weathered, covered in moss and other debris. There were also remnants of red paint clinging to the edges of the inscription.

People had gotten bored of defacing the grave a long time ago; no one cared about Hawkins anymore. No one cared about Eddie. The rest of the world had moved past the alleged murders and the earthquakes and all of the mysteries that had plagued the small town all that time ago.

Except the three of them.

That's why they were here.

"Do your kids...call him Uncle Eddie?" Gareth asked tentatively.

Jeff wasn't sure how to respond. How his old friends would react if he told them the truth.

"It's complicated."

There were a few beats of silence, before he spoke again.

"They do." Then he dove into an explanation. "They found a box of stuff at my mom's house a while back. Polaroids we'd taken at the trailer, at StarCourt, on Halloween. Copies of our fliers. Even my old Hellfire shirt. So I told them about Uncle Eddie, who taught me how not to be absolutely shit at guitar."

Gareth hummed and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Come on," Dave lightly hit his arm with the back of his hand. "Don't act like you've never thought about him for the last 30 years."

"I've really tried not to."

"Then what are we doing here, Gare?" Jeff scoffed. "Why did I drive 10 hours to come and sit in front of his grave if you're gonna act like he wasn't our friend."

Gareth worried his bottom lip for a pensive minute, trying to keep his tears at bay.

"I was really angry for the longest time," he finally admitted. "My parents made us leave with that initial wave of evacuees...after the first quake. We only took what could fit in both of their cars. We left my drum kit behind. And I didn't...I didn't even know he was..." His breath hitched as he was unable to say the word; 30-year-old emotions kept it stuck in his throat. "...for a whole week."

He pulled it together, letting the necessity of stereotypical, stoic masculinity that he had to adapt over the years take over and lock away the 17-year old he used to be again. The one that had been allowed to be stupid and upset with his friends.

"Once I heard, I started to blame myself. Because if I hadn't told Jason Carver where he could've found Eddie...Eddie could've gotten out of Hawkins and he'd still be alive. And I know...I know...who could've guessed that Victor Creel's copycat killer would've been on the loose. Or that there'd be an earthquake. But he'd been running around...hiding because those assholes were looking for him."

On and on, he spouted off his theory about what that fateful week had looked like, the through line between the murders. How if Patrick McKinney hadn't been part of the group looking for Eddie, Eddie wouldn't have been anywhere near when Patrick was killed. And if that was the case, he wouldn't have died in the quake either.

Of course, Jeff and Dave still asked questions, trying to get some sense of logic out of everything that Gareth said, but he snapped at them.

"It's like Jeff said. It's complicated. I've had enough time to convince myself I'm wrong, and I still don't. That's why I don't talk about it; it's easier not to. I don't know what else to tell you."

A dog barked in the distance, a breeze blew through, and there was a flapping of wings.

"At least you believed that he was innocent," Dave piped up. "My mom and dad...god, they believed all of that insane devil worship stuff. You guys left Hawkins right away. We stayed...for almost a whole year before they decided enough was enough. They made me get rid of all my DnD books, all of my tapes. Anything that could be tied back to Eddie. I didn't even...I couldn't even say hi to Wayne if we saw him at Bradley's."

He gestured a few feet away, to another headstone with Wayne's epitaph carved into it. It hadn't been a shock to see that the old man had died. But only a year and a half after Eddie? That had been a surprising sting that they'd all felt.

"You don't know how bad it got," Dave concluded solemnly. "We might have made it out right before the second quake hit, but they never let up. Eddie Munson's name was not to be mentioned again in our house. So be lucky that you had the choice of whether or not to think about him. Because I certainly couldn't."

There was a somber tone in the graveyard for a moment as they all reflected on their years spent apart.

Because, though the subject mainly rested on Eddie...there was also the unspoken accusation that they'd all also conscientiously needed to give each other up too.

30 years was a long time to grieve over a dead friend. But had they ever grieved the loss of one another?

It had been easy to reconnect, as though they'd never been apart. They'd been excited, eager to chat online. None of them had hesitated when the possibility of this pilgrimage arose, to see each other. Now, though? It was clear to see how far the trajectories of their lives had gone from one another.

Always the one to resolve conflicts between them, Jeff suggested that they move on to another topic of conversation: lunch.

Dave ran to get the cooler from the back of his truck. It was packed with sandwiches and beers and all manner of snacks.

All Eddie's favorites.

They set an old bandana onto the ground and piled it high with a ham and cheese sandwich and raspberry zingers and all sorts of little bites that they'd left behind in their youths once their metabolisms caught up to them.

"I don't think I've had a Mountain Dew in years," Dave stated after the most refreshing, crisp first sip of the bright green soda.

"Remember when you used to be able to burp the alphabet," Jeff chuckled.

"Remember when you used to have the most toxic dorito farts?" Gareth laughed at him. "Eddie almost kicked you out of the van that one time because you just ripped ass on the coldest day of the year and his windows were iced shut."

"Remember when he kicked you out of the van for..."

On and on they went then, reminiscing. Back to old times together, rather than lamenting over times apart. The topic, invariably, strayed back to Eddie.

"Did you guys ever..." Jeff trailed off, then shook his head. "Nevermind."

"What is it?" Dave asked.

"Nah, it's stupid."

"Come on, Davey and I almost fucking cried, full snot and all, in front of you. Don't get shy now," Gareth insisted.

Jeff sighed and settled into his lawn chair as he contemplated speaking his mind.

It was silly, foolish. The first time the thought had crossed his mind, he'd been young and stupid, and he'd missed his best friend. He'd even had a dream, once, and he'd woken up crying. After that, he'd decided that he needed to move on.

But here they were now, and there was no better time than to bring it up.

"Have you guys ever wondered...if he didn't actually die?" Jeff finally asked.

The other two men's heads snapped towards him and they gave him looks that definitely made him feel like he was insane.

So, he elaborated, "I mean, you've heard of witness protection and what not. This place was swimming with the feds. They never caught the copycat killer, right? Or so we know? What if Eddie was the next victim on the list? Or he saw who the real killer was? And so they hid him away."

Jeff tapped his fingers against the sides of his soda can nervously.

"What if he did exactly what all of us did? He left Hawkins and he never looked back," he concluded.

Dave and Gareth let out sighs of relief.

"Well, we know he never became a heavy metal star if that was the case," Gareth offered. "Could you imagine if he had? Lucky bastard, I would've had to kill him myself."

"Where do you guys think some alternate identity would've taken him?" Dave wondered. "Someplace cool, do you think?"

"They probably shipped him off to Alaska or something," Jeff scoffed.

"Oh he would've hated that," Dave laughed. "Do you remember when he'd need to go out for a cigarette in the winter? Almost lit his mittens on fire?"

Jeff got out of his lawn chair and hopped around like Eddie had on the porch of the trailer, trying to keep warm because he'd never bundled up properly.

"He'd hate to live someplace warm just as much," Gareth pointed out. "Remember how insufferable he'd be in the summer?"

"Wayne would tell him to get a hair cut so he wouldn't overheat?"

They all did silly impressions of him this time, laughing all the while.

They all fell back into their seats with a sigh.

"I...It's stupid," Jeff muttered. "I wouldn't give up my life...my family for anything. But there are just some days where I wish that he would've gotten to grow up with us too. He was my best friend, and I loved him so much. And I know you guys did too. I...he...he didn't deserve this." He gestured to the headstone. "So I hope that...that my silly thought is really what happened."

The other two muttered their agreements, and they knocked cans together in a salute to the missing piece of their puzzle.

There was a beat of silence before Dave piped up again.

"You know, that's not as crazy as what I thought you meant," he chuckled.

Jeff eyed him suspiciously. "What do you mean?"

Dave lifted his soda to his lips. "Nah, it's...I thought you were gonna ask if we thought he'd actually made a deal with the devil or something."

"See, this is what we get for hanging out together after a thousand years, I was thinking the same thing," Gareth agreed. "That Jeff was about to say that he was some kind of vampire or demon."

"Oh shit, or a necromancer. Actually that could've been cool!"

"Only Eddie could've thought about a vampiric, demonic necromancer," Jeff laughed along with them. "His own homespun version of Kas the Bloody Handed."

They all complained about the last campaign they'd played with Hellfire Club, Eddie's Cult of Vecna, and then agreed that they'd plan a night where they'd play some kind of RPG-type game over Skype, in his honor.

They stayed in the graveyard until the sky turned shades of pinks and yellows, and then they parted ways with more hugs and tears and promises not to wait another 30 years before they got together again. Then they drove off into the sunset, the perfect end to their perfect day.

A day that Eddie had blessed them with, as he looked upon them and wished that he could join them too...but...that, too, was complicated.

[dress-and-impress]

(cal if you see this pls dont read it has spoilers)

Now that The Dragon Prince Season 7 has been released and the processing has died down imma just share smth right her right now... the whole "Ezran vs Rayllum" thing did not affect me AT ALL while watching it. Was totally unfazed by it becasue I knew they were gonna all be friends again by the end of it... and have no opinion about who was right and who was wrong (That's not to say I didn't feel weird about it. I very much did). So, here is my presentive of each character in this situation:

(picture obviously from a poster of TDP promo)

Ezran:

As every Ez stan knows, he's a young king and has many difficult and challenging decisions to make. He was NEVER prepared to take the throne and when he did it was with such honesty, patience and love for EVERYONE, human, elf and even villain (as per talking to Aravos and Karim about their views and perspectives). BUT when the love he had got taken advantage of, he lost it. Like I would too if you spend all this time building a bridge (hypothetically and in a way literally) with people perceived as "the enemy". His perception of the world became a blur and the innocence he had was shattered in a million pieces. When Callum left he was undoubtably confused but MORE determined to put his fathers killer to justice instead of asking why (like he usually does).

Callum:

Now he's a very controversial side because you either love him or hate him. Very quickly though i find it really strange how he keeps saying that Rayla does everything for others and wants to do something "for her"; the quazar diamond scenario in season 6 and at the oddly adorable bridge scene at the end of season 7. To put it quite plainly, Callum has no idea how to make himself happy, so he makes other people happy. But you're probably thinking "Callum pissed off Ezran and ditched his brother for his gf". Yes. He did. Callum was a mediator in the situation (or tried to be) and once he knew both sides couldn't be happy he had to choose. Ezran, his half-brother and King who has kingdoms and allies that support him no matter what. Or the girl he loves and spent years thinking about and wants to make up as much time as possible with her AND who regretted running away without asking for any help from Callum.

Lets refer back to the moments before Rayla decided to leave (on Callums birthday). She was determined to find Viren and finish what they started and Callum didn't want her to so they made a compromise. BUT THEN Rayla left as we know. Alone. With nothing.

Rayla:

We have no idea what Rayla spent those 2 years doing trying to find Viren but lets list a few things we know (from when she breaks Runnan out of prison); She had to say goodbye to her birth parents who she thought she was going to bring back from Virens coin, is banished from her home and cannot go back and is basically determined to have some form of stability in her life. Quick note, Rayla and Callum are not concerned about Aravos because they think he's still in the pearly.

Rayla has made a lot of impulsive decisions throughout the show and it should be expected that she would betray Ezran's trust and make things difficult for Callum to prioritise the need to get AT LEAST ONE OF HER PARENTS HOME SAFELY. Her mind was an utter blur and filled with emotion she didn't know how to express. The only thing Rayla wanted to do was solve the problem. TAKE ACTION on the one thing that's making her feel that way. She's done it before and will continue to do it.

So to sum up watching that scene and processing it, you need to understand all sides. The emotion, the determination and challenges that came across the three of them. It gave their characters development and gave us an opportunity to explore WHY the characters feel the way they feel or make the choices they choose to make. It was never a "right or wrong" thing but more so gaining growth and maturity that decisions need to be made regardless of how painful it may be.

[akiss-from-a-rose]

"I told her while she was sunbathing at the country club that she wasn't a meal on display," Aaliyah said, raising an eyebrow. "I might have also mentioned that to both of you, but, really, I'm not going to spill species secrets around just anyone. That's how I was taught. Was it wrong? Probably." She laughed quietly before rectifying it. "Absolutely." She sighed. "Okay, smart ass. Keep 'um, actually'-ing me, you fucking nerd." She wasn't attempting biting, and she hardly found herself to be defensive. It was mildly amusing, and there was something close to pity, but Aaliyah made it a habit not to really pity anyone. A product of her upbringing, both living and unliving. "Again, you don't know me, Brielle. Very few do, I get that. I go for that. But you can't just state hard facts about me, like who or what I care about, without actually knowing me." She took the clan position because maybe, just maybe, she cared too much. Aaliyah didn't really have the language for it, but she cared deeply about the state of the vampires in this wretched town. Enough to sift out the tough love. Enough to take up the mantle of leader while only really wanting to desperately search for her friend, one of only a handful that she'd ever had in centuries.

Aaliyah just shook her head. "No, you're right, I didn't give you the chance to make a rational decision because we don't get those extra moments, Bri. We don't get the choice of, oh, I'll be a little mad. A human woman not controlling herself? She might yell, maybe hit. Perhaps she could cause some damage. A starving vampire not controlling herself?" She shook her head. "I'm not going to sit in front of the council while those fucking witches drag a clan member through the mud for fucking eating someone at a party. I won't even risk the chance of that happening. So was it rash to grab you? Perhaps. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat. I was protecting the best interest of the clan, I was protecting you, hell. I was protecting your fucking boyfriend from the potentiality of having to listen to your trial while Meena and I have to figure out your punishment. Something that wouldn't have been light for even contemplating hurting the coven advisor's sister." She got what Bri was saying, but there hadn't been much she could do about Jake. "His words were cruel. He was acting out of fear. Does that mitigate it? No. If he doesn't apologize, then I can offer to rip out his tongue, but he also wasn't my priority in that moment. Suck it up in that moment, yes, but wait. Get back at them strategically. I do recall telling you that I didn't want to put you in a box."

Any effort to get through seemed to be a mission in futility. Aaliyah almost didn't understand what she was trying to accomplish. "I'm not trying to be menacing. I'm being honest. You won't like it because it sucks. It will suck. It's not a pun. When you have control issues, when you have feeding problems, it's not easy. It fucking sucks, and it continues to suck for years. I think that you could have an easier time of it than I did. You wouldn't have to deal with my sire, for one. If you think I'm a bitch, then you have no idea. And you have a daylight ring." She was almost wistful, just for a moment. "I missed the sun so much. Longed for it. I used to try and grind up marigolds. I thought if I could put it on my skin, the way that they sooth and heal would help. It didn't. I burned, many times. I was called a fool. She was right, of course, but." She gave Bri a long look. "It doesn't matter if you were or weren't meant to be this. You are this. You have to find a way to live like this."

Aaliyah couldn't help it. She laughed, actually happy. "I'm really not, but it's nice of you to come out of the closet. I have been rather curious if you fight all of Professor anak Bandi's battles for him, even the ones he's unaware of. You were practically ready to break his computer when he was Zooming into council meetings. I've always wondered how human lovers must feel. Do they find themselves as weak as we so often act like they are? Does he need your protection as much as you offer it?" She couldn't help the curiosity, and it was genuine. She'd never stayed with a mortal for so long as to see them as anything more than a temporary fascination. She'd only turned a handful for companionship, but she'd never been especially coddling of any of them. "It's beautiful. Mankind used to spend hundreds, sometimes thousands of years building monuments, cathedrals. Some desperate clawing at permanence. And they are sad. But... ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Whether you're a skull in the wall or dust in the wind, it's sad because they're dead, not because of their eternal resting place." She snorted. "I've lost my touch if the only reason you think I'm a bitch is because I insult your boyfriend. I think I've also kicked your roommate out of my club three times. Her picture's on the wall, now. Do Not Allow Entry. And what is a Shrek?" she asked, like she hadn't seen the movie when it first came out, a fascinating innovation in animation. "I like to think that I have layers like a hornets' nest. Far more applicable." Full of tiny, dangerous little components packed with stinging, hateful creatures.

The irony, in Aaliyah's eyes, was that Brielle was just as set in her own thought processes as she believed everyone else was set in their opinions about her. "I really haven't heard the eulogies. Such a thing is fun in theory, less so in practice. Making an entire town come to a party and then speak about someone that they may not properly know very well is a well intentioned idea that is, more often than not, less than ideal in practice. Besides, I didn't say that everyone in this goddamn town cares about you, I said people. You still have people that care about you. Maybe it's one hundred, maybe it's just one, but that can be enough. And Benjamin has lived here long enough to understand the risks. I remember the former Coalition leader, and I remember that your professor stepped up as soon as he was needed. He loves you, and he loves this town. I don't think something like that is going to do him in." The man had more backbone than she felt obligated to give him credit for. Most humans did. They willingly chose to live in a place where their neighbors had wings or turned into wolves or craved blood. There was an incredibly amount of bravery there.

"I'm not being condescending. I'm not patronizing you. I'm just talking. This is the way I talk, and it's the way I've talked for a while, now. And I'm attempting to get you out of that booth. It worked. But if you want to have a drinking, go for it. Maybe make me a little card. One sip for saying 'fuck.' Down a shot for moral superiority from a confess serial killer," Aaliyah said, laughing a little before she looked at Bri, her eyes a little soft. "If you want an actual funeral, this isn't it. I imagine you didn't get a lot of mourning done in there." Her expression ticked up in amusement as she listed off some of the members of the clan and their various selling points. "She's eccentric. That happens, sometimes. He has cultivated a displeasure for most things. That happens, too. It's nice that they're happy, even if unhelpful. She needs all the rest she can get right now. And you're right, they're both rather new, and the last people I'd wish to get advice from about control are Tried to Eat My Boyfriend's Leg and Had a Sunburn for a Year From Sleeping Outside." She hummed. "No, not a bat signal. We don't turn into bats. Look, I get you might think it's too little, too late. And that's fine. But I work on payroll for Eclipse on Tuesday afternoons. I offered you help with payback at the gift exchange. I'll offer you something similar, now: help with being a vampire, sans neon sign. No non-vampire pals, no busy crowds where I, and most people, really, are so often on defensive. Again, I'm telling you that you probably won't like it. Not to cow you but to let you know that it's just not fun. I didn't like it. I hated it, really, and it took me years to get the hang of this bullshit. But you're much smarter than me."

"Actually you told the both of us during White Elephant two years ago. I was sitting right next to her," She explained. "And I could have, but I trusted you and, as I know now, I shouldn't have," She stated, pressing her lips together as she gave her a small shrug. "It's called a hyperbole. You know, a mild exaggeration for dramatic effect? And I'm well aware when you became advisor. I'm not attacking you. I'm simply pointing out the obvious," She explained calmly. "We both know you don't really care about me, so why bother with the pretend?" Bri reasoned. She already had to question pretty much every relationship in her life. Why add another to the rather long list?

"See. That doesn't exactly sound like you care. Though as for whether or not I would have taken a rational suggestion in that moment, did you even give me a chance to? I lunged at Frankie because she caught me off guard, my emotions got the best of me and I was starving. But, I stopped the moment I-" she paused. Her eyes momentarily drifted to the floor as she muttered under her breath, "Shoved Poppy. Just before you stepped in and, I'm not saying I don't appreciate the advice or the fact that you did, but I also know that, while people came to comfort me, not one actually told him to stop when he was strewing a list of insults my way. Instead, you essentially told me to 'suck it up' and I get it. That's pretty much the only advice anyone ever seems to give around here. 'Suck it up and get over yourself'. But, that doesn't exactly make me want to hang out with other vampires let alone ask them for any other tips. No offense." She had tried to. She had asked Ken to show her how to reverse compulsion and he pretty much rolled his eyes at her and made it abundantly clear she should know how already, though he had been more helpful than most. Ronnie and Safiye were just as lost as she was and Ralph, she was fairly certain was off in some other world.

"And that, right there, is why I've been figuring it out my own. I might have wanted you to teach me control before that ominous as fuck warning? Seriously?" She asked, she shook her head the smallest bit back and forth. "You clearly don't want to help me and I don't even think you could even if I did volunteer for your hellish bootcamp which seems unnecessarily menacing. I was never meant to be this and don't think I haven't notice how my body is still actively rejecting it. I was supposed to die a human and, if it wasn't for the Sheriff's spell, I would have."

"You're awfully defense, you know that?" She pointed out softly, though her voice took on a far sharper tone as she called Ben a 'droll boy toy'. "Though, I'm sorry, a droll boy toy? Go fuck yourself and just because it's art, doesn't mean it's not tacky. While as for catacombs, they're... sad. All of those skeletons piled on top of each other until they practically form of wall of mismatched limbs you can't tell apart from one another? Unless they were some notable official, they become lost amongst the many. Faceless skulls that will go on being unremembered," She wrapped her arms across her chest as she thought of how similar it would have been for her if she hadn't been brought back. No one would have even known where she was buried. "I don't see you as a villain. Maybe, a bit of a bitch, but to be fair, you do like to insult my boyfriend a great deal, so... next you're going to tell me you're like Shrek. An onion with many layers," She mumbled under her breath, not bothering to point out Aaliyah saying that her questions was an 'exercise in self-flagellation' she had outgrown, she was further supporting Bri's entitled bitch theory.

Instead, she stood there quietly. Her gaze hyper-fixated on the crowd with her arms crossed over her chest. It was only when she was told that people cared about her, that she cut Aaliyah off. "No. They don't," Her dark brown eyes met Aaliyah's as she told her, point blank, "You've heard the eulogies. Majority of this town either doesn't give a fuck about me or hates me and they have since the first day I was resurrected. You want to talk about a complaint box? I've been called pretty much every name in the book, not to mentioned was told I smell of death which was an added dose of prejudice for no apparent reason. My friends have forgotten my birthday, stabbed me, mooched off of me, admitted to being afraid of me and fucked my boyfriend before we got together and I do mean plural friends for that one. The only family I have in town left unsure if they'd ever return, knowing they'd forget about me, and they said goodbye for what might have been forever if they hadn't come back over a note. The only person I have in my life who I know for certain loves me unconditionally and would never leave is Ben and he's missing his fucking leg now because of this godforsaken town. So, when I say why bother it is because there is literally no point. I know plenty about myself. I know I've spent the past three years trying to be liked by you god awful people and it doesn't change anything. It doesn't matter how I act. It doesn't matter what I do, all roads end the same. So, why bother? You can call it self-flagellation, if you want to, but I call it me no longer giving a fuck because there are a very few of you who are actually worth it."

"I wasn't in there throwing a fucking pity party. I was saying goodbye to the girl who died, which was originally supposed to be the whole point of this thing," She rolled her eyes as she kicked herself up off of the booth she had been leaning again. "I never had a funeral, though... wow. Are you going to be condescending this entire conversation? Because at this point, I might as well make it into a drinking game," A dry laugh broke from her lips. It was truly ironic how much Aaliyah seemed to think she had a read on the situation. "I've been letting myself 'feel it' for the past three years and I've been to nearly everybody else. Gia's unhinged, Ken barely puts up with me, Ralph and Ernie are still living in 1955, Meena's recovering from being malled by a wolf, Rio's often to busy to even get a coffee let alone fill me in and Saf and Ronnie are just as new at this as I am. So, save the whole 'I've got to want it and seek it out' pep talk. I've been seeking it out. What more do I have to do? Invest in a literal bat signal? Carry around a flashing neon sign that says 'help'?"

[sysig]

maybe you should doodle however many or few starcon/helix/damned characters as you like (in human or alien form) in cute halloween costumes! imagine... ZEX dressed up as Ariel thelittlemermaid...

Day 26 - "I hadn't realized humans also had aquatic subcultures!" "Oh, well, uhm..."

[phoenixcatch7]

Why can't we have a batman is the spirit of Gotham au?

He already is, in meta, in character, in theming. Him and the joker. He is so very built upon what Gotham is made of, and Gotham builds from what he needs in turn, the setting of his story.

What if that is the reason he can take damage that would permanently ruin a physical career and come back? What if that's how he's managed to maintain his no-kill streak to such an extent? What if that's how he manages to maintain such high maintenance and all consuming identities?

For the heart and soul of a city containing all extremes, the richest nobility and the lowest of the poor, the cruellest villains and the most compassionate heroes, orphaned children and ancient lineages, a city rooted in fear and madness and grit-teeth determination and hard won kindness, what better choice could you find than Bruce Wayne?

But what if he wasn't alone in that? What if Gotham has sunk to such a low because its spirit is damaged and corrupted?

For the heart and soul of the cruellest city in the dc universe, the most unrelenting and uncaring, the one that practically laughs at your pain and suffering as you try to make it through another day, what better choice than the Joker?

[deamare]

♡ ˚·   @anruraiocht asked:

[ 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐞𝐥 ] : unable to handle their fondness towards receiver, the sender lashes out and they end up in a heated argument. ( ehehe )

Ishtar stands stock still, paralyzed with wrists still stretched between iron bars and palm held open. It's empty now, carefully wrapped remnants of her untouched dinner knocked from it onto the floor. She is frozen as though she expects to be scolded, even though the only person here to do so is a girl covered in filth and bound at the ankles.

"I thought..." Mother had taught her that people would weep to receive gifts from her one day, that there would only ever be gratitude for the Goddess of Thunder.

But this girl shows none, her face contorted in an anger so raw that Ishtar cannot bear to look at it. She thinks first that she should be angry-- that is what she has been taught to be when disrespected by someone labeled as lesser-- but then that feels wrong. What was it that made this girl lesser? The cage that she had been shoved in? The kingdom that she had been stripped of? The blood of her father still drying on his throne? All done in the name of Ishtar's own.

She steps shakily back, distantly aware that she should not be here any longer than she has to, and yet she finds she cannot bring herself to run. "I was trying to help, I-"

It hits her then that to help would be to restore what has been taken, to free her from this prison built within her own home. To help would have been to never allow this to have happened at all.

Footsteps echo from further down the corridor and her time for useless apologies has met its end. There is evidence of her disobedience plainly strewn across the floor of the girl's cell, and with one glance Ishtar knows that her fate rests in the hands of the other.

As the cell disappears behind her, she thinks that perhaps it is only fair. If she is to be punished, let it be at her discretion.

And the next time that Ishtar sneaks away in search of Miranda of House Ulster, she is nowhere to be found.

[alice--pallas]

Alice understood what Blue was trying to say, though she still didn't believe that they were to blame. The shooter and whomever had sent them after her--because she had to believe that that's what it was, a job that someone was sent to do--were who was to blame. And while of course she couldn't no for sure, she got the feeling that Blue was here out of concern for Alice and not because of some guilty conscience for wrong-doing. It was hard to trust people now and who knows, maybe she wasn't as perceptive as she liked to believe--but she trusted Blue. "Blue, look at me," Alice said, her voice tired but strong. "This was not your fault. Don't blame yourself. I know there's crazy shit going on that we don't have control over, but... The people that should feel guilty are whoever did this to me. I don't know what you could've done. But I appreciate the sentiment."

There's got to be a way to find out. Giving a small shrug, feeling a little helpless just then, the blonde took a breath and said "I... Don't even know where to start. I don't know, it's weird... I keep trying to think about how I would approach this if this were a case that I was looking into instead of it...being me. But I'm finding it rather difficult to...see the forest through the trees, I guess." Ideally, she should be good at this sort of thing--but it was hard to think back to that night without her heart racing and her stomach getting all tight inside. It was terrifying and she knew she was bound to have nightmares about it for god knows how long. Fuck.

If we learnt one thing, it's that Anchorage cleans up nothing properly. "I don't know if that's entirely true," she said. "I mean, I agree with some things, but... Look, the reason that I voted not guilty on that jury was because I believe that they were framed--and I don't know how and the most important thing is that we found them not guilty--" she started, though she stopped when she remembered that Mindy was now dead. Jesus Christ. "I think the town cleans up what they want to. Some things, they're sloppy--but not everything. I'm hoping there's still something from the scene, but... I have no idea. And honestly, even once I'm out of the hospital, I don't..." Her eyes darted to Blue's, hesitant to be vulnerable but then taking the plunge. "I don't know if I can go back there, to where it happened... I want to, but... I don't know if I can."

Do you think it was someone who could've known you? That's not a narrow list. She thought for a moment, trying against her better judgement to picture that person standing over her, pointing a gun at her. Shaking her head, she said "I don't think so, no. I mean, to be fair, they were masked so they certainly could've been but they didn't...feel familiar. But... I think the person that sent them, if they were sent, might know me."

"No, I didn't," admitted the professor. They took their seat in the chairs on the side of the room regardless, folding their hands into their lap. But in their mind, it was part of the problem. Doing nothing, missing the signs. Could there be signs to this? Their literary brain professed: yes. Meaning they simply hadn't been paying attention. Hearing Alice's name amongst those who had been injured had their guilt all over the place. The trial and the jury and the phone call. Genuinely, it was all just too much. "I didn't do anything and I hate that. These things have been building up and it's like. I don't know. I ended up being one of those people who threw up their hands like, what can we do? That's what it feels like to me." They pressed their nail to their inner palm, searching around for a pressure point. That's how you get rid of headaches, but what about when the headache continued coming from outside?

They scrubbed at their throat, yanking the sweater around. "There's got to be a way to find out," came the factual feeling. Focus on the facts. Not the feelings. Then it might be easier to navigate this, to not break down and make this about them. They also hated that: when something happened, and it became all about the people in the room, and not the person who was actually going through it. They might be in a state of stress due to Alice being shot, but at the end of the day, Blue themself wasn't the one who was shot. So they weren't going to act like it. "Right, like clues. Or something left at the scene of the crimes. They're going to be taking down the tents and all that, but that doesn't mean it'll get cleaned up properly. If we learnt one thing, it's that Anchorage cleans up nothing properly."

Their voice dropped droll at that. The sewers were evidence enough, and there was plenty of other shit floating around in the water that made it the truth. They just didn't want it to keep getting swept under the rug. "Do you think it was someone who could've known you? That's not a narrow list," they observed. It wouldn't even be a narrow list for them, and they thought to themself that they must know a lot less people, considering the differences in Blue and Alice's lines of work.

[airenyah]

Sex scenes don't bother me as much as kiss scenes. When the characters are making out in a way that indicates it will lead to sex, I'd scream at the screen "Just take off your pants and start grinding under the covers already!" because I cannot watch them mash their mouths together for another second.

That being said, I'm not a huge fan of sex scenes because firstly—I can't take the movements seriously, and if there's sound effects, there's also a high chance of me laughing. Secondly, the squishiness of the human body is another thing I can't take seriously. When I first watched the Only Friends trailer, and I saw that scene where Sand thumbs Ray's tattoo, I thought it was a butt tattoo because of the way the skin bounced in slow-motion, but no, it's actually a hip tattoo; the human skin is just that springy on every part of the body. While everyone was going crazy because of the tattoo-touch, I'm laughing because the bounce was so pronounced.

Basically, kiss scenes ick me out while sex scenes are comedy.

omg that sounds like such a fun way to experience sex scenes tho!! i wish my reaction was more like that rather than convulsion. i'd much rather experience a comedy show tbh dfjkkdgj

also interesting point you bring up about the human body being so squishy. i never really thought about it but yeah. human bodies are just so weird?????? actually, only the other week i was talking with another friend (who's likely also ace-spec) about just how humans (and tbh even animals) will just have things dangling from them?? whether it be genitalia or boobs or whatever. like, those body parts are just... hanging there?? and technically even your arms but at least you can control those. meanwhile my boobs will just bounce depening on what movements i make and i can't control them and they're just hanging from my chest while i go about my life. like, why?? i want dog boobs where you mostly have just the nipples and they only really get big when i have an actual child to feed (i know human breasts also swell when they fill with milk during a pregnancy, but why do i have to have two balls of meat hanging from my chest even when i'm not pregnant?? who thought of this design??). coming back to your point of the human body being so squishy and actually yeah, i'm realizing now that i can't take it seriously when people talk about how hot boobs are precicely because boobs are so squishy and also so wobbly and just. how is this not funny to people? dkdfjdjfk

and lmao i remember everyone going crazy over the tattoo!!!!! i realized right away that it's on the hip but maybe that was bc i remembered the placement of it from the eclipse. which is also why that scene didn't make me laugh, i was actually too busy trying to read what it said bc in the eclipse we never got to see that tattoo up close enough in order to be able to read it. so while everyone was freaking out i was just sitting in my corner like "omg so the tattoo says 'beautiful'???" i'd been wondering about it for a year ever since the eclipse, so i was just excited to finally know what it says bc i'm a nosy ass bitch lmao

anyway, i love hearing about your experiences. it's so fascinating how varied the ace experience can be and how specific things affect everyone differently. and i think it's also cool to hear what things other ace people pick up/focus on while the allosexuals are busy drooling over whatever is happening on screen dkjkdkjg

the kissing... idk, i can't tell you why it doesn't actually bother me that much or why i might even enjoy it. although i do have to say, the act of kissing does look extremely weird. sometimes (usually during longer kiss/make-out scenes) i'll be sitting there and suddenly it'll hit me that "actually kissing looks SO strange, whose idea was it for kissing to be a thing??"

sometimes in my head the kissing just conjurs up the image of a fish opening and closing it's mouth, like so:

except, you know, kissing involves two people so in reality it's more like: