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newtthetranswriter · 2 months ago

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Surprise Flights - Toru Oikawa

Word Count: 2128

Paring: Toru Oikawa x Fem! Reader

Summary: Toru really just wants to make Christmas special for Y/n, luckily for him he gets the chance to give her the best present of all.

A/n: Hello everyone, this idea came to me while working on a different fic that will be out closer to Christmas. Anyways I thought it was a cute idea, and it definitely turned out better than i thought it would. Also I just want to say that I’m sorry for the random long break in posting, writer’s block kicked my ass, plus I just got a job after almost a year of searching and so I might not be posting as much but I will try to write something every now and then. Anyways enjoy, Happy holidays, and as always remember to hydrate or diedrate.

a/n 2: This is really my first time doing any kind of smau style stuff for a fic so please let me know what you think. I'd be willing to try out doing an smau series in between normal imagines to help keep the ideas flowing just let me know if that's something y'all would want.

It had been almost a year since Toru left Japan to pursue his dream of being a pro Volleyball player. It had been almost a year since he wiped the tears off her face as he promised to call and visit as often as humanly possible. Toru was able to keep the promise of phone calls and text messages but his schedule didn’t allow for much off time.

He had only been able to see her in person once since leaving for Argentina. For his birthday Y/n and Iwaizumi had managed to fly out to visit him. His two favorite people managed to surprise him by staying with him for a week, but he still had practice so it’s not like he could truly enjoy it. After they had returned to Japan, Toru had promised himself that he would be the one surprising her next.

So when he found out in early November that the team would be getting the last two weeks of the year off, he began planning. Immediately he had told Iwa and made him swear not to let it slip that he would be coming home. Toru had it all planned out, he was going to make this the best Christmas she had ever had.

The days leading up to his flight Toru had to fight the overwhelming urge to just come clean and tell Y/n he would be there soon. The only thing preventing him from spilling the beans was the thought of how happy she would look when they finally got to hold each other again. The image of her smiling and the sound of her laugh as they embraced for the first time in so long pushed him forward, promising that it was worth it to keep it a secret.

On the morning of his flight, Toru made sure that he had everything ready. He double checked that he had his passport and ticket easy to grab as well as his charger and headphones. Looking over his entryway where he had his suitcase and carry-on placed and ready, he smiled to himself knowing that in less than two days he’d be holding his amazing girlfriend in his arms. Checking the time, he quickly ordered an uber before opening his messages.

After sending his usual goodnight message to Y/n, knowing that Japan is 12 hours ahead, Toru looked over his apartment one last time before heading out to wait for his ride.

By the time he reached the parking lot his uber was already waiting. Getting into the car he said a quick thank you to the driver, before turning his attention back to his phone as a new message came through.

Toru smiled to himself as he read his friend's last message. As Toru sat quietly watching the scenery pass by, he kept thinking over his plan. Sure he had set his lock screen to a list of times he needed to text Y/n so she wouldn’t get suspicious, but he was anxious that she would notice something was up.

“Going home for the holidays?” The driver asked, breaking the silence that settled over the car. “Sorry, I know not a lot of people like to talk during these rides, I just can’t help but be curious. Of Course you don’t have to share if you don’t want to.” He added on, sending the brunette a kind smile through the rear view mirror.

Smiling Toru nodded, happy to have a distraction from his thoughts. “Yeah I am. I haven’t seen my girlfriend in about five months and I have seen my family in about a year so It will be nice to see them all again.” He briefly explained.

The driver nodded. “Well they all must be excited to see you, if it’s been that long.” He said while keeping focused on his driving. “I know I’d be thrilled to see family if it had been a year since I last saw them.”

“Actually they don’t know I’m coming.” Toru said with a laugh. “Well, my best friend knows, he’s helping me with the surprise. But I wanted it to be a fun Christmas present for everyone.” He explained after seeing the driver's confused expression.

Laughing joyously, the driver nodded. “Sounds like an amazing gift. Well here we are. Have a safe flight and Happy Holidays to you.” The driver said pulling up at the passenger drop off door of the airport.

Grabbing his stuff Toru nodded. “Thank you, Happy Holidays to you as well.” He said, closing the car door and turning to the airport.

After making it through customs surprisingly quickly for the holiday season, Toru pulled out his phone while finding a seat near his gate. Seeing that it was about two hours until his flight was set to depart he decided it was a good time to start his plan.

Pressing send on the final message he did his best to calm his nerves once again. He felt slightly bad for lying to Y/n, but he knew that if he didn’t and just never responded to her messages she would worry. Sighing he pulled out his headphones, listening to music in order to block out the sounds of the airport while he waited for his flight.

Time skip to landing in Italy

After landing in Rome for his roughly eight hour layover, Toru decided to check his phone for any messages.

He fought the urge to respond right away, but reminded himself that Y/n thinks he’s still in Argentina where it’s currently three in the morning, so a text message from him would be suspicious. Sighing to himself, Toru decided to stay in the airport while waiting for the second half of his flight. Grabbing an overpriced coffee and breakfast from the airport Starbucks, He made himself comfortable close to the gate of his next flight.

About five hours into the layover, Toru decided it was a good time to finally respond to Y/n’s early texts. After all, nearly twenty hours of ‘sleeping’ was a lot even if he was ‘sick’.

Toru smiled at Y/n’s worrying, happy that she was believing him and she hadn’t caught on to his schemes.

The two continued to text back and forth for the next couple of hours. As they chatted about their days, Toru fibbing just well enough that Y/n didn’t catch on, Toru noticed that it was getting close to his departure time. He was enjoying talking with his girlfriend but he needed to come up with a way to end the conversation so it wouldn’t be suspicious if he just stopped responding. Luckily Y/n beat him to it.

Not even ten minutes after hitting send on his final message, Toru was on his flight. Overjoyed to know that the next time he texted Y/n, he would be in the same country and one step closer to being reunited.

Time Skip to landing in Japan

Stepping off his flight, Toru was surprised he didn’t feel extremely jet lagged after only sleeping for a handful of hours over the last thirty hours. He guessed it had to do with the fact that he was extremely excited about the events that would be happening over the next couple hours. Mainly the thought of holding Y/n in his arms once again.

While making his way to the baggage claim, Toru decided to text Y/n again. It was even more difficult this time around to not tell her he was back in Japan, but he remembered that she was probably at work right now so he couldn’t distract her too much. So he settled on keeping the surprise.

He frowned slightly hoping her day wasn’t going to bad, and put his phone back in his pocket. Turning his focus to looking for his suitcase as he tried not to worry too much. As he spotted his bag on the conveyor belt, Toru felt his phone go off again. Pulling out his phone again, he laughed at Iwa’s usual name calling before responding quickly.

As he texted his best friend he made his way to the passenger pick up, looking for Iwa’s spiky brown hair. Quickly spotting the former spiker’s pointed glare, Toru couldn’t help but walk a little faster. “Iwa, I’m so glad to see you. Thanks again for agreeing to pick me up.” He said in greeting, opening his arms to ask the stoic male for a hug.

Letting out a fake groan, Iwa embraced his childhood friend before pulling away. “Don’t mention it. Now didn’t you want to stop at the store before going over to Y/n’s?” He asked, no longer hiding the slight smile on his face from being reunited with Toru.

Time skip to Y/n’s apartment

After buying a few things at the store, Iwa helped Toru get all of his things up to Y/n’s apartment, telling him that Y/n had left a spare key out for him when he made up an excuse about needing to drop something off there. Once the two friends had gotten Toru’s suitcase and bags from the store into the apartment, Iwa gave his friend one last hug before leaving.

Now alone in his girlfriend's apartment, Toru couldn’t help but be nervous about waiting for her to finally return home and see the amazing surprise he had for her. He knew she would be happy, of course she would be, after all she was so sad when he said he couldn’t make it back for Christmas. He just had to wait another hour or so before she would get there.

Time skip to Y/n getting home & P.o.v switch

While it had technically been a short day at work for her, Y/n couldn’t help but feel that the day had drug on. When she finally arrived at her apartment all she wanted to do was lay down and wait for Toru to wake up so she could call him during his morning run, like they did most days. Getting to her front door though she was shocked to find out that the spare key she had left out for Iwaizumi was no longer under the mat and the front door was still unlocked. Opening the door and seeing a pair of men’s shoes in the entry way she assumed Iwa had just gotten there so she just shrugged as she took off her shoes and headed for the living room.

“Hey Iwa, what was it you needed to drop off …” Her sentence trailed off as she noticed the brunette standing in her living room, who was very clearly not Iwaizumi. “Toru? Am I dreaming?” She asked, pinching her arm, not fully believing that Toru Oikawa was really standing in her apartment holding a bouquet of flowers with a sheepish smile on his face.

Toru chuckled as he slowly stepped closer to her. “You’re not dreaming I promise.” He said, handing her the flowers.

Instead of taking the flowers to put them in water she just set them on the coffee table before nearly tackling Toru in an extremely tight hug. Toru quickly returned the hug, resting his head on top of her as she pressed her face into his neck. After a few minutes of silence, She pulled back cupping his face in her hands.

“You’re really here.” She stated as if reassuring herself that this was real. “I thought you weren’t able to get time off to come home? And what about you being sick?” She began questioning.

Chuckling, Toru leaned in and placed a kiss on her forehead. “I wanted to surprise you, after you and Iwa surprised me for my birthday. As for being sick, I needed a believable reason to not text you for hours while I was on the plane.” He quickly explained.

She nodded in understanding. “Well consider me surprised.” She said, before taking a moment to just enjoy being in the same space as him again.

“Wait, does this mean you told Iwaizumi about you coming home?” She asked, receiving only a nod. “No wonder he wanted me to leave out my spare key. I couldn’t figure out what he could possibly have wanted to leave here.” Y/n finished laughing slightly.

After a few moments of just standing in the center of the room, the two moved to sit on the couch deciding to just cuddle as they talked. The conversation eventually faded and the two sat in a comfortable silence. “I’m so glad you’re home.” Y/n said as slowly drifted off to sleep laying on Toru’s chest.

“I’m glad to be home.” Toru responded, quickly following Y/n into the realm of dreams.

(dividers by @/cafekitsune)

#x reader #haikyu x reader #newt writes #toru oikawa x reader #oikawa x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu x reader #toru x reader #x fem reader

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surfkng-archive · 2 years ago

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THINGS I HAVE ALREADY THOUGHT OF FOR THESE AUS I MENTIONED EARLIER FOR EASIER PLOTTING:

Supernatural AU (bc hello og fandom) - He’s a hunter; best at the hunting side of things, rather than the research side.

X-men AU - Mutant; Hydropath from his mother’s side of the family aka his grandfather on his mother’s side

Wizarding World AU - Gryffindor bc I refuse to mess around with the US side of things atm

just a general Marvel AU - I.... haven’t thought too much into it other than he’s either an enhanced soldier or smth.

Spy AU - Works for Statesman or Kingsman, has an idea of MI6, MI5 and other organizations and is an agent himself.

SPIDER-VERSE AU - VENOM. I don’t think I need to elaborate more than he’s Venom’s host.

I want something where Billy's been living in California and y'all can visit him - think this is self explanatory? maybe?

*SHAKES THE BARS OF MY CAGE* STAR. WARS. AU. PLEASE!! - He is absolutely force sensitive, but he uses it for pod racing and smuggling mostly. He has almost zero interest in being Jedi or Sith. He has a couple stolen lightsabers though that he’s either taken from the Imperials or found in rubbish heaps.

That cheerleader AU I posted at the beginning of yesterday

Good Omens AU - Demon, kinda bopping around doing his own thing but still easily meeting his quota; definitely supportive of the whole war between Heaven and Hell. Not too sure WHY anyone put Crowley in charge of anything???

Pirate AU - Captain of his own ship; definitely has a name for himself and is a pain in the ass for the British Royal Navy.

and Cryptid and Mythical Creature AU - Werewolf; changed when he was young; kind of a loner rather than having a pack or wanting to spend much time with his own kind.

PERCY JACKSON AU - child of hades

#;; wishlist #thought i'd give y'all a quick idea of what i already have for each of these things i wanna do

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impala1967dwinchester · 4 years ago

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Sam Winchester: Disney

*Credit to gif owner*

Pairing: Sam W. x Reader

Pov: Sams

Warnings: fluffy!Sam, The reader having an addiction to Disney movies, movie night, Sam quoting Disney movies, ( I think it's like one word) swearing, quick interaction with Dean.

Summary: Movie night rolls around and this time it's just Sam and Y/n. Letting Y/n choose pretty much just turns into them watching Disney movies. And maybe Sam knows a few quotes from each movie.

Word Count: 2k

A/N: This is for band--pyschos 1.5 followers Bingo Challenge. I'm so excited o be a part of this writing challenge.

Square- Movie Quote

Masterlist

Sams Masterlist

Taglist: @band--psycho @sweetdetectivequeen

If you keep sliding on the floor with those damn socks on, you're going to land on your ass, Y/n" I finally said after watching her pass by the library at least ten times within five minutes.

Y/n huffed and crossed her arms dramatically, but stopped. Standing there for a few moments, before once she thought that I wasn't paying attention she continued.

"Shit" I heard Y/n in a rather loud voice. So, I got up from my library seat, closing the lore book I was reading through. "Did you fall?" I asked as I rounded the corner.

Seeing Y/n sitting on her ass. She looked up at me, doing the thing I taught her. "No, No puppy eyes. I told you. I told you that you were going to fall on your ass." I said putting my hand out.

In moments like this, I noticed how much bigger my hand was compared to Y/n. She gripped my hand and I lifted her up from the floor. "Hey, you two, y'all okay?" Dean asked passing by the two of us in the hallway.

I knew he was going out; it was Saturday night and we were home at the bunker. "Yeah, we're fine. I was just sliding on the floor with my socks." Y/n said patting down her sweatshirt that used to be mine.

"That must have been the 'oh shit' I heard. We should totally do that, I'm heading out." Dean said. "Don't have too much fun," I said interlocking Y/n and I's fingers together.

Dean skipped up the bunker stairs and was gone within minutes.

"Babe, can we do something fun?" Y/n asked dragging me into the kitchen. I let her drag me into the kitchen before answering her question.

"I guess so since you've dragged me into the kitchen," I said, not letting go of Y/ns soft and small hands clasped around mine. "Well since we are in the kitchen, can we get some snacks together?" She asked.

Y/n had the tendency to always ask before doing anything around the bunker. It sometimes made me feel as if she was my student in school, and I was her jailer of a teacher.

"Y/n, honey you don't have to ask me every time you want to do something. This is your home, your home to do as you please, get snacks as you please. You aren't a student here and I am most defiantly not your teacher." I said, wrapping Y/n in a hug from behind.

"I know, but still I don't like the idea of just doing without asking," Y/n said leaning her head back up against my shoulder. We stood like this for a while, in the presence of each other was nice, it was always nice to just be together.

Nothing trying to get in the way, no Dean trying to tease me, no monster ruining dates, anniversary, or having to hunt monster worried about each other safety.

This was the most normal we could get. The most normal we would ever have. "So what are the snacks for?" I asked Y/n as she started to release herself from the embrace we had.

"I thought that maybe we could have a movie night since Dean is out," Y/n said rummaging through the cabinets and through the fridge. Her shorter stature giving her a problem as she tried to reach things on the higher shelves.

"Do you want some help? Also, what are you looking for?" I asked coming closer to hear what she had to say. "MMMH," She said, her face pensive and thoughtful about what she was going to say.

"I was trying to grab some popcorn for me, and some more healthy choices for you, but as you can see, I've failed miserably." Y/n said shrugging her shoulders.

Taking a moment to get an idea of the hand situation at hand. “You haven’t failed, and if I’m honest with you dear, I'm in the mood to snack on junk food and be lazy.” I spoke. Grabbing junk like food off of the shelves and from the fridge.

I’m rather glad that just a few days ago we needed to go shopping because Dean tends to pick up the junky food and tends to forget he has such an abundance at the bunker. Throwing a pint of ice cream on to the kitchen island, gently placing a twelve-ounce bottle of soda-pop, Y/n had already put out the over flow of candy that we had, so all that was left was really just making the popcorn.

“Movie night is going to be hella fun!” Y/n said dancing around the kitchen, as I looked for a clean useable big bowl for the popcorn. I think she noticed my struggle because she stopped dancing and come over to me. Taking the popcorn out of my hands.

“Just nuke the popcorn’ she said placing the popcorn bag into the microwave and pressing popcorn, ‘see now you can go look for your bowl” She said finishing her sentence and backing away to let me continue trying to look for a bowl.

Once that entire process was done, we migrated towards the Dean cave which had just turned into a living room slash movie room at this point. Not that either one of us would ever tell Dean that what it’s used for now.

We ended up having to make multiple trips back to the kitchen since we honestly did have a shit ton of food. But once we finally had all our food and snacks placed out in front of us, we sat down, well it was more like we sank down into the couch.

Dean was a rather lazy person and didn’t like to spend money which never made much sense to me seeing as we used fake credit cards, or the very bold answer which was credit fraud. We could have totally gone out and bought a brand-new couch, but instead Dean just saw this one and decided on the side of the road that he had to have it.

So, like I said we almost every time sink into the couch.

“Since it was your idea for a movie night, I’m giving you the honors of picking the first movie we watch!” I said handing her the remote that I had just fished form between the seat moments ago.

“Aww, you’re so sweet baby.” Y/n said kissing my cheek before she went on and searched through Netflix. After only a short time, I heard a frustrated groan come from Y/n. After being with Y/n for as long as I have, I’ve noticed different groans, and huffs have completely different meanings.

The groan thought meant that she was about to give up, frustration taking over her mind and her body. “Honey, is everything okay?” I asked deciding best to intervene before the remote ended up stuck in the TV screen. My girl has one hell of a throw.

“No nothing is fine!” She said huffing rather louder. “Give me the remote and tell me what you want to find.” I suggested. Plopping the remote into my lap Y/n crossed her arms and leaned in to the back of the couch.

“Baby you gotta tell me what I’m looking for, or should I already know?” I asked. I feel like I was poking a bear, or maybe a balloon just waiting her to explode. But she never did, I could hear her taking a deep breath in and then exhaling. “You know me enough to know that you let me choose, so Disney movies and I’m sorry for getting so upset so quickly.” Y/n said fidgeting with her finger nails.

“It’s okay love. You’ve got nothing to worry about. Now let’s see about watching some Disney movies.” I spoke.

I ended up having to go to Disney plus which held all of Disney's movies. “I’m figuring you want to watch their princess collection first, right?” I said, I received a hum in response.

Watching the movies in order for Y/n was the most important thing, so we started off with Snow white and the seven dwarfs. Watching through Y/n sang almost every song, and would sometimes nudge me to join in. I’d deny and she give me her doe eyes and I'd join regardless. Once the movie was over, I clicked around trying to find the next movie.

“Lips red as the rose, Hair black as ebony, skin white as snow.” I repeated as I looked around for the movie CInderella. I was interrupted before being able to click on the movie title. “Hey, that’s the phrase that the mirror says the queen. How do you remember that?” Y/n asked.

I honestly think she was totally surprised. “Because in a way it reminds me of you.” I said winking and clicked on the title of the movie. Cinderella played through, I had to pause a few times letting Y/n tell me when she was a young girl how much she wanted to be a princess but not just any princess she wanted to be Cinderella, and how her parents had bought her Cinderella dresses and she wear the plastic glass slippers and clink around her house.

Somethings you just always forget. Somethings like that are worth forgetting though, just so she can retell the same story and have the same cute and exciting look on her face. That was why I was okay with sitting down and watching Disney movies with her, because they made her so extremely happy and that’s all I needed to be happy.

We watched through that movies. “On the stoke of twelve, the spell will be broken, and everything will be as it was before.” I spoke. “Who said it though?” Y/n said questioning me. “Cinderellas fairy godmother!” I spoke.

I hadn’t realized how much this was now turning in to a game between Y/n and I. The next movie in our now marathon was sleepy beauty, so far, I had quoted every movie at the end.

So, this time Y/n was ready for it, “Now father, you’re living in the past, this is the 14th century.” I said a little laughed came out. “Oh, come on, there are so many better ones to choose from!” Y/n said dramatic.

“Yeah, like which ones? "I said, knowing Y/n knew a lot more about Disney movies then I did. “I’m awfully sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you, Make it pink, Oh dear, what an awkward situation. And that to name a few.” Y/n said totally sassy me, but whatever. This was her guilty pleasure. There was no reason to tease her about it.

We watched through ariel, I only stopped the movie once since Y/n said she need a peep break and I most defiantly needed a good stretch. When she came back, I said “Don’t underestimate the importance of body language!” I said as I shimmied my hands down my sides and winked at her as Y/n sat down on to the couch.

“Haha, very funny. Come on now. Sit with me.” She said giving me grabby hands. I sat down and we continued our watch through, unfortunately we only made it another two movies seeing as Y/n had fallen asleep with her head in my lap and a blanket covering the rest of her body.

Beauty and the Beast was the second to last movie we watched before Y/n fell asleep, she had cuddled closer and reminded me that she sometimes thought of this movie when she saw us together. “Take it with you so you’ll always have a way to look back... and remember me”

She cuddled in closer as I quoted that and looked for the next movie. Yawning I asked Y/n “Do you want to stop? We can always pick up tomorrow.” I said She shook her head and said “Please continue.”

Looking for the next movie, I found that was a musical now about the movie, Aladdin was the next movie, this was an upbeat movie. I remember vaguely seeing this as a young boy, something that Dean had taken me to do, while he sat in the back making out with whatever girl he was with at that point.

“Y/n, I do love you, but I gotta stop pretending to be something I’m not.” I said kissing Y/n temple and shutting off the tv, and the lights before grabbing the underneath of Y/n knees and carrying her to bed.

Compelted on: 04/15/2021

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shiroandblack · 4 years ago

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Finwë, the Progenitor of the 'Fins'

[Disclaimer: what you are about to read are basically my thoughts and interpretation of Finwë. So if you have different thoughts and opinions that's perfectly fine]

Oh, and I'm totally not doing this because I'm procrastinating on the Fëanor thought-vomit I have going on in my head. Pfft, absolutely not!

Finwë, High King of the Noldor, Daddy to Fëanor, Findis, Fingolfin, Lalwen, and Finarfin (not that kind of daddy, get yer minds out of the gutter), husband to both Míriel and Indis, the Ned Stark of the Silmarillion, (depending on who you ask) the Fin to Elu's Finelwë -

I should stop.

First of all, we have no idea where this guy came from (I think?). He just suddenly popped out as an ambassador who basically went out with his buddies (OG Goldilocks and Tall Boy) to scout Valinor and see if the elves should move there or not. Prior to that, Finwë is not mentioned anywhere. People are generally divided if he was Tata's son as was Ingwë being Imin's son and Elwë being Enel' or if he's Unbegotten. Some also headcanon him as an orphan with his parents gone via Morgoth Kidnapping which was why he was chosen as an ambassador. I mean, magical guy on horse saying he'll take their society somewhere? I wouldn't really send the heirs or chieftains, I'd send someone competent enough to be a diplomat but ultimately no great loss to the tribal society of Cuiviénen (my god did I spell that right) if magical guy does pull a Dark Rider. Personally I do think that if he was indeed an orphan, it would explain some things in particular, like his want for many children and just a big family in general.

Anyways, the three go on their joy trip to Valinor and come back and go like "come, come, there are two pretty trees and no Dark Rider". I personally would have gone because of the no Dark Rider part but hey, if you like shiny, glowing trees and that's your main motivation, no judgement. Right after that, we don't know what happens to Imin, Tata, or Enel. Working on the assumption that the three are different people to the three '-wë's then they could have become Avari since the Avari are Tatyar and Nelyar. Interestingly, the Minyar all go and there is no more mention of Imin despite he was chieftain of all chieftains and then suddenly Ingwë is High King of all Elves? I'm gonna go with @squirrelwrangler's Klingon route here from their story 'Of Ingwë Ingweron' because I think there should be more depth to Ingwë and on a completely irrelevant note I have had a crush on 'the boy who would be Ingwë' since I started reading. You probably didn't need to know that, but now you do :)

(As you can see, I'm being very objective.)

BACK TO THE MAIN POINT. THIS IS A POST ABOUT FINWË. So anyways, the Great Journey happened and for some reason he and Elwë decide to meet up in a forest to do what nobody knows. Anyways, Elwë got skadooshed by Melian and Finwë went to Aman forever regretting the fact that he never got to do Elwë - I MEAN DO WHATEVER HE AND ELWË PLANNED in the woods of Nan Elmoth.

There he got married. Now, this is where I actually stop making fun of Finwë (yeah, no) and give you my interpretations and analysis which none of you have asked for but I'm doing anyways. So right off the bat, even when Míriel is obviously tired from giving birth to the baby who is his own crematorium - sorry, I meant Fëanàro - Finwë goes like "oh he's so pretty, I'm sure our other kids will be just as pretty". Which goes to show us that Finwë likely wanted an armada of kids right from the start. Y'all know what happens next. Point is, Míriel's dead and gone and Finwë is understandably a Sad Boy™.

Now, he also exhibits a certain impatient streak after Míriel dies. Surely he knew that the more he bothered Míriel about "hey, when are you gonna come back?" the more obstinate Míriel would be about not returning. I say he is impatient because he is an elf. He technically has all the time in Arda to wait for Míriel to return, but curiously he doesn't wait. Now, Fëanor was born in YT 1169 and Fingolfin in YT 1190 and since one YT is about 10 solar years (I'm pretty sure it's 9.8 years ish but I suck at maths so please have mercy on me) that means that Fëanor was around 200 years old when Fingolfin was born and we know Findis is elder. 200 years for an elf is not long at all, hell to the elven perception of time Finwë marrying Indis is probably like someone going out dating after 40 days of abstinence after a break up. This means that he married Indis relatively quickly after Míriel died, which shows that he was very eager for the marriage to happen.

Why? Was it because he knew Míriel wouldn't return for a very long time? Or was it because he wanted more kids? Or maybe that impatience is just intrinsic to Finwë's character? I actually don't know what to make of his motivations regarding this, so I'd love to hear anyone's opinions.

Finwë supposedly fell in love with Indis when he was going to visit Ingwë and saw her singing and the light was golden and Indis glowed and yeah. Prior to that, they most likely met in Tirion or even in Cuiviénen as Indis was close kin to Ingwë so I highly doubt that this was their first meeting and Indis was in love with Finwë since the early days of when the Vanyar and Noldor still stayed together in Tirion. This does make me wonder that even when Finwë was married to Míriel, were there seeds of feelings towards Indis? No, I am not saying he had an affair with Indis while married to Míriel, but you can feel attracted to someone even while married to another. But considering Finwë's favouritism towards Fëanor, I don't think this was the case and he probably began falling in love with Indis when he saw her singing and being basked in golden light. I do wonder what would have happened if he saw her picking her nose instead but hey, elves don't pick their noses in the Silm because all the nose dirt is removed by the sheer amount of times they must've cried in the First Age. Snotty crying ftw.

Many people in-universe seem to think that his second marriage was a mistake, but I do not think his marriage per say was a mistake. To me Finwë had the right to move on from Míriel, but what I don't agree with was that the Valar basically locked her up in Mandos for eternity. But this is a point of conflict that I feel I should address in a separate post about the Valar. In any case, what I think was the mistake was Finwë's impactful favouritism of Fëanor and his failure to reconcile Fëanor and his children by Indis. As there are a lot of external factors to him being unable to make his kids get along, I will be focusing more on the negative effects of his favouritism.

Finwë's marriage to Indis seems almost like a spontaneous decision, I don't think he actually sat Fëanor down and explained things to him quite well. After all, in Fëanor's mind Indis is the reason his mother is forever dead which is not really the case. Finwë wanted to marry Indis and Indis wanted to marry Finwë. It takes two to make the relationship work, after all. But despite Indis giving him what he wanted which is more children and a big family in general, Finwë still favoured Fëanor. Now I do get favouritism because everyone has favourites, but Finwë's favouritism only served to create more strife between Fëanor and Fingolfin. With one child, he lavishes praise and attention to the point that it's detrimental to Fëanor's growth as a person and with the other children, Fingolfin felt ignored enough to tailor his entire life into proving that he is more worthy to be Finwë's heir to - for a lack of better word - get his father to look at him the same way Finwë looks at Fëanor.

I don't doubt that Finwë loved his kids. I think he did love both Fëanor and his children by Indis, but the thing is . . . his actions always show that he loved Fëanor more. And I think that must have been devastating for his other children and what was the worst in my opinion is that Finwë doesn't seem to realise this. This could be a form of selective ignorance on Finwë's part or it could simply be that Finwë felt that he was giving equal attention to his children and that Fëanor needed more attention because he didn't have a mother. This is a logical thought process for him, but just because something seems logical it doesn't mean it's the right thing. Personally, I think Finwë's feelings towards Fëanor revolve around love and guilt and that guilt over denying Fëanor a birth mother makes him put Fëanor on a pedestal above his other children.

Now I'm gonna dive in to the circumstances up to his death. Prior to the infamous 'point-a-sword-at-traitorous-half brother' incident, the Noldor already had factions brewing under each of Finwë's sons. Which means that there were different groups supporting different sons (I'm just gonna give this quick glance because Noldorin elf politics and succession matters requires its own post honestly), both Fëanor and Fingolfin's group were advocating for these two princes to be Finwë's heir while Finarfin's most likely stayed neutral as throughout the text Finarfin has shown no real desire for kingship as his brothers (well, little did he know that his mother-name would come true in an arguably sad way). What is very interesting is the fact that Fingolfin thought he could be king after Finwë to begin with, which suggests to me that Finwë hadn't formally declared an heir. Usually it is assumed that the eldest son is heir and there would be no formal declaration needed, but the thing is Finwë had sons by a different queen and what's more is Fingolfin and Finarfin were the children of the ruling queen. Why he didn't do a formal declaration, I do wonder, because while it may have embittered Fingolfin for awhile I do think that if Fëanor had been assured of his position then maybe the two could have had some semblance of a healthy relationship. Maybe he viewed it as causing a greater rift between his children?

Now we finally get on to the sword pulling incident. We all know what happens, so I'll just skip on to the aftermath. Fëanor is exiled by Manwë, Finwë views this as an insult to his authority. I do agree that this can be viewed as that because as a Noldo, Fëanor should answer to the king of the Noldor and Manwë is exiling someone who is not his subject. But the thing is, Finwë probably wasn't going to really punish him and that's why Manwë stepped in. Hell, we have no evidence of a trial going on for what Fëanor did. But the thing is, this isn't just a regular Fëanor and Fingolfin screaming match this was Fëanor actually threatening harm to Fingolfin in front of everyone. The guy literally sashayed into the room, wearing armour and drew a sword. This must have been the equivalent of a bank robber drawing out a loaded gun to the elves.

Anyways, ya know what good ol' Finwë did to protest against Manwë's interference and Fëanor getting exiled -

He incited the Fourth Shinobi War -

No, he just yeeted off with Fëanor. Look guys, I have neutral feelings towards Fingolfin I mean he is no victim (in general) because he has done some pretty presumptuous things (which is what makes him interesting, let's be honest), but I have never ever felt so bad for him before. Hell, this is an even worse 'fuck you' then making him cross the Helcaraxë because Fingolfin's main motivation in life thus far is probably to be equal to Fëanor in Finwë's eyes. I mean, he did leave Fingolfin regent (did he? Oh gosh, I honestly forgot) but still dealt an emotional blow anyways.

Right, so we don't get much of what Finwë did in Formenos but maybe this whole thing was just for him to get a holiday. And then Melkor comes and fucks shit up by killing Finwë. Now, I'm going to talk about Finwë's murder and why it is in my opinion the Inciting Incident™ of the Silm, the Chekhov's gun being fired so to speak, the equivalent of Ned Stark's execution in the Tolkienverse. Everything else, Melkor's lies, the creation of the Silmarils, the drama between the brothers, it was a build up to this moment. And everything after, the exile of the Noldor, the War of the Jewels, it was what happened because of Finwë's murder. Prior to this, there were already factions among the Noldor as previously discussed above but none of these factions actually openly made any moves against each other. Why? Because Finwë was still alive, because Finwë was essentially the lynchpin holding the Noldor together. Now, I'm pretty sure that Morgoth killed Finwë just to fuck Fëanor's shit up even more, but what he did was quite tactically brilliant. He has effectively wrought chaos among the Noldor in one single swoop.

And thus the Quenta Silmarillion happens.

In Mandos, he meets Míriel and tells her about his life. Because maybe it went something like this:

Finwë: so yeah, you know I was with our son all the way through and then I died. What have you been doing?

Míriel: oh, you know the usual things one does when one is condemned to Mandos for eternity.

Anyways, he gives up any opportunity for life for Míriel. Which is admittedly a nice thing to do since the reason Míriel is kinda stuck there is related to him, until you find out Míriel weaves the history of the House of Finwë instead of well, I don't know building the Mírindis ship? Yeah, she probably weaved Fingon getting his head smashed open by Gothmog and getting his corpse trampled. Oh and the 'If I Die, You Die' duel between Celegorm and Dior which probably wasn't as badass as Katniss' "If we burn, you burn with us" line from Mockingjay made it seem but more bloody and violent. Also Maedhros throwing himself off into a fiery chasm. Finrod getting mauled by a werewolf.

Good times, I'm sure.

But hey, at least Fëanor comes within a few seconds after stepping into Beleriand to keep him company.

So, I'm done with teasing my analysis of Finwë. Thank you for your time. Have a nice day.

Just keep procrastinating <3

#the silmarillion #lotr #silm stuff #finwë #fëanor #fingolfin #the ASOIAF and Naruto and Hunger Games references you probably didnt need #house of finwë #look at me trying to form my thoughts into coherent paragraphs #ingwë #because i have a crush on him #elwë #because yeah #tags galore #i should be doing something productive

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spencers-dria · 4 years ago

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Turn for the Better

Someone To Stay Ch. 1

Spencer x fem!reader

Spencer POV:

I open my eyes and glance around the room. It's darker than I remember. I must have fallen asleep reading on the couch again. I glance down and see a pile of books on the rug. Oh yeah...I only made it through about four books this time before I nodded off. I sigh in frustration that I'm awake. Might as well get up I suppose.

I wander into the kitchen and pull open the fridge only to be met with a jar of peanut butter, week old left overs, and a half empty jug of juice. Next.

I try again with the pantry. Almost completely bare. I guess this is what happens when you stop going to the grocery store. I settle on a cup of apple juice and a bag of chips... better than nothing right?

I slump back down onto the couch and pull my green wool blanket over me. As I stare up at my ceiling, as I begin to let my mind wander. But this was dangerous territory. I have to keep my mind occupied, I just have to. So I quickly sit back up and turn the TV to one of my favorite Dr. Who episodes. They say that anxious people re-watch the same shows because they find the familiarity comforting. I could definitely understand the feeling.

It was the weekend, which meant I wasn't called into work. Cases had been slow lately, as we spent quite a bit of time doing paperwork back at the office. Unfortunately for me, this meant less distractions. Distractions were good. Distractions were necessary. They are the only way I make it through the days anymore.

Things had finally returned to normal for me back at work. I was going into the field, and it felt like my coworkers were no longer tiptoeing around me. I hate when they do that, and it bothers me more than any amount of teasing ever could. I'm not so delicate, so easily breakable. Look at everything I have been through, everything I have endured. Yet here I am, still alive, still doing my job. I didn't need to be babied. So it was a relief when I felt the regular rapport I shared with my friends return. They had gone back to the sarcastic remarks and silly nicknames. I was grateful for it. They did, however, continue to check up on me. This was something that I did appreciate. They've seen me go down a dark road once before. I have no intentions of ever returning. I was stronger than that... I think. All I know is I have held on this long without resorting to any unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Coping mechanisms...oh how I wish I had something to make the healing process easier. Having a fairly empty social calendar left me alone often. Normally I would find comfort in the peace and quiet of my solitary apartment, but not quite so much lately. I couldn't very well make plans to go out, and I wouldn't even know how to begin to do that. Who would want to hang out with me right now anyways? I'd be a damper on the fun, and everyone knows it. That's probably why my friends stopped inviting me to the nights at the bar.

There I go again, letting my mind slip into a dark hole of anxiety. Its not a safe place to be. I quickly turn my attention back to the show in front of me, letting it drown out all other thoughts.

The ring of my phone quickly draws my attention away. Finally...another case! I jump up to answer, seeing the name on my screen: Derek Morgan. That's odd. Usually Hotch or Garcia call to notify us of a new case.

"Hello?" I answer, confusion lacing my voice.

"Pretty Boy! Buzz me up!"

Well now I'm even more confused. Derek never comes to my apartment. I quickly press the button letting him into the building and opening my apartment door, waiting for him to arrive.

As he comes up the stairs, he gives me a grin shouting, "Come on man! Get dressed. We're goin' out!"

I roll my eyes and retreat back into the apartment, Derek close behind me.

I sink back onto the couch, my eyes glued to the television as I tune him out.

"Aw c'mon. Don't be like that. How long have you been sitting there watching TV? Have you done anything else today, at all?"

I don't answer, I don't even look at him.

"Oh, let me guess. You've been reading all day, huh?"

"Wow, can't get anything past you huh?" I say dryly, regretting my tone as soon as the words left my mouth.

"Alright that it. You've been cooped up in here too long. Like I said before, we're going out. And I'm not taking no for an answer" he says sternly, raising an eyebrow at me.

I finally look up at him as I roll my eyes.

"You know I can kick your ass right?" Derek smirks.

"Fine" I concede. "Well...where are we going? I don't know what to wear unless you tell me what our plans are."

"Don't pretend you don't wear the same fancy button ups no matter where you end up going."

I let out a small laugh...he's got me there.

"Dinner at Rossi's. I know pretty boys are high maintenance but, hurry up or you'll make us late!" I smile at the nickname. Same old Derek.

Y/N POV:

You let out a sigh of relief as you watched your coworker approach you, ready to receive report. It had been a particularly busy shift, and you were ready to get some much-needed rest. You walked to each patient room, giving Clementine summary of the day and the latest updates on labs and vital signs. You stepped into each room with her, checking one last time to make sure each of your patients was doing well and didn't need anything else before you left. Normally you and Clem would spend some time catching up and making jokes, but she could tell you were tired and needed to be home more than anything. You wished her good luck on her shift as you made your way to the break room. After putting away your stethoscope and the large collection of pens, pencils, and markers you kept in your pockets, you finally headed towards the elevator to leave for the day.

You opened the door to your apartment to be greeted by your dog, Juneau. She was a rescue you adopted a few months back. She still needed to make progress, but she had really warmed up to you and your friends and seemed much more comfortable in her new home. After feeding her dinner and taking her for a short walk, you heated up a quick frozen dinner and sunk into your couch. Curling up in your blanket, you spent a few minutes browsing through different streaming services only to land on The Office, as usual. Your mind drifts to what your next few days might consist off. You just so happened to land 4 days off in a row, but you had no idea how you would spend your time. You glanced down at your phone as it lit up. It was your Uncle Will.

"Hey, whats up!" you chimed, glad to hear from your favorite uncle.

"Hey, (Y/N). I'm actually calling to invite you to a dinner some friends of mine are having tomorrow night. I know your schedule is real busy. But I haven't seen you much since you moved up here to Virginia! I know you haven't met many people here yet, but I think I can help you make a start. "

The kind gesture made you smile. You had always been fairly close with your father's side of the family. He had grown up in Louisiana and met your mother at a college in Texas. You spent your childhood in Houston but frequently visited the Cajun half of your family. Uncle Will had moved away once he fell in love with Jenifer Jareau, his now wife, and you hadn't seem much of him the past few years. But as luck would have it, your nursing career had lead you to a hospital in Fredericksburg, VA. You felt extremely lucky to have family nearby, or else you would have been completely alone. But sometimes you still felt that way, which is why you were so grateful for his offer.

"That actually sounds great! I am off for the next four days, and I didn't really have anything planned. Who will I be meeting at this dinner?"

"Well it's some of JJ's coworkers. They're like a second family to us, and I know they'll be just as welcoming to you. I already told them you moved up here, and they've been begging to meet you."

"Aww I can't wait to see Aunt JJ and my sweet little cousin, Henry! Its been so long since I came to visit you guys. I think Henry was barely two years old the last time I saw him."

"Well we all hope to see you a lot more now that you're here. You're like a daughter to us, Y/N. You are welcome to visit any time you like. I know nursing is a stressful job, and it can take a toll. Its important to have family and friends around you when things get tough." You could hear that this was a genuine offer and you fully planned to take him up on it in the future. Being alone in a new state was taking its toll.

"So where and when should I plan to meet for dinner?"

"I'll text you the address real quick. Everyone is planning to meet around 6. It shouldn't be too far of a drive. It's one of JJ's coworker's houses. David Rossi. He's a real easygoing guy, and he loves cooking for everyone. He loves meeting new people even more, so you should feel right at home!"

"Sounds like a fun time. Thank you again for thinking to invite me. I'm really looking forward to it!"

"Alright boo, talk to you later."

You smiled at the pet name used by the entire Louisiana side of your family. I guess the north had yet to steal his southern roots. You hung up the phone. You finally had plans. It would be nice to talk to someone who wasn't a coworker. It would also be your first excuse to dress up since moving and starting your new job. Too excited to wait, you jumped up from the couch and began to rifle through your closet for something to wear. You didn't want to be too over or underdressed. You grabbed a black spaghetti strap fit and flare dress and throw it on with some black panty hose, a lightweight maroon cardigan, and some black heels. You snapped a quick photo in the mirror and shoot a text to Aunt JJ.

Y/N: Apparently I'm joining y'all for dinner tomorrow night...is this too much???

Aunt JJ: I heard! I can't wait!

And oh my goodness, no! You look gorgeous! It will be perfect.

Also...Henry is so excited to see you!

You smiled, more confident in your choice. Aunt JJ had great taste. You had only had the chance to meet her in person a couple times, but the two of you had clicked right away and stayed in touch over text and Facetime. Sometimes she felt more like the sister you never had.

Starting to feel the effects of your particularly difficult shift, you start to get ready for bed. You wanted to be well rested for tomorrow. You say goodnight to Juneau and crawl into bed, snuggled under all the blankets. You fall asleep with a smile on your face, with the feeling that things in your life are about to take a turn for the better. You couldn't explain it...but somehow you just knew.

#fanfic #writing #criminal minds #spencer x reader #spencerreid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid x y/n #romance #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #original work #original story #Spotify

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helloalycia · 5 years ago

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alex’s little sister [one] // kara danvers

summary: with Haley wanting to find out Supergirl's identity, you have to get your memories wiped along with Alex, much to Kara's dismay. No longer remembering being her girlfriend, you can't help but feel like something is missing.

warning/s: none.

author's note: here's an angsty kara fic for y'all to cry over 😂 part two on the way x

part two | masterlist | wattpad

I watched as the last of the dozen or so agents who knew of Kara's identity walked out of J'onn's office. Kara's grip tightened in mine and I could only presume it was the same with Alex's hand.

Alex and I were the only two agents left who were going to get our memories wiped and Kara still wasn't okay with the idea. But it had to be done if her identity as Supergirl was to be kept a secret.

"So... who's next?" J'onn asked regretfully.

I pursed my lips and stood up, letting go of Kara's hand. "I'll go."

"Y/N!" Kara stood up, grabbing my hand again.

I grimaced as I met Kara's saddened expression. "We've discussed this, Kara..."

"I know, I know, just... just wait."

I breathed out and nodded, glancing between J'onn, Brainy and Alex.

"Are you... are you sure that this is the only way?" Kara asked, directing her question at J'onn.

J'onn's expression said it all – we had all pondered the exact same thing many times. We were only left with this option and Kara knew that, yet she still kept hoping.

"We need to do this, Kara," I told her, squeezing her hand and pulling her closer. My voice lowered as I met her glossy eyes. "It's gonna be okay. It won't hurt and it won't have any side effects."

"But you won't remember us," she sobbed. "You'll forget about everything. We won't know each other."

I tried to stop myself from crying, but of course, a tear slipped out. I knew this already. It was stuck in my head all night last as I tried to picture Kara not being there. It had only been two years since she'd been in my life, but it didn't feel like that at all – it felt like longer, so it was impossible for me to imagine her not there. I couldn't even remember what that was like.

Alex was my first friend at the DEO – now my best friend – and it was through her that I got close to Supergirl and eventually Kara. Living my life without Kara would be so strange, yet I wouldn't notice the difference because I wouldn't remember.

But she would.

I sniffled and rested my other hand on Kara's cheek. She leaned into it and kissed it, to which I leaned forward and kissed her gently, quickly.

"It's going to be hard, but it has to happen. I'm sorry. You have to let me go for now, Kara."

She breathed out and looked down, nodding her head. I struggled to ignore the tugging in my stomach as I let go of Kara's hand. Alex pulled her in for a hug, the two sisters left in an embrace as I went to stand before J'onn.

"It'll be quick," J'onn assured, raising his hands. I'd seen how he'd done this to the others and was about to close my eyes and prepare myself, but before I could, Kara quickly shouted.

"Stop!"

"Kara..." J'onn looked to her, but she was only looking at me.

"I just wanted to say... I– I love you," she got out, still holding Alex. "I need you to know that..."

I gave her the best reassuring smile I could muster and said, "I know it, Kara. I always will. I love you, too. No matter what."

She nodded and I hated how hurt she looked because of this. She was losing her sister and her girlfriend all at once and there was nothing I could do.

"Do us both, at the same time," Alex blurted out, sucking up a deep breath. She had been crying, too and honestly it was horrible that this was what everything had come to.

"Alex–"

"I'm not watching you open your eyes and be a completely different person," Alex cut my protest off, her eyes meeting mine. "I'm not losing my best friend. We do this together."

I nodded, understanding what she meant, and watched as she turned to Kara, who was shaking her head frantically.

"No... I can't watch this," she cried out, before letting go of Alex and leaving the room.

"Kara, wait!" Alex called after her, but J'onn placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her from going after Kara.

"It's better this way, Alex," J'onn told her. "It'll only hurt more if you both open your eyes and you're not the same."

Alex pressed her lips together and still stared at the door that Kara ran out from. I grabbed Alex's hand and pulled her beside me.

"C'mon, we have to do this," I said softly, a sad smile on my lips. "For Kara."

Alex gulped down the lump in her throat and nodded. "For Kara."

–

"How you feeling?" Alex asked as I left the interrogation room.

I rubbed my forehead and shook my head. "I don't know... that felt so weird, y'know?"

Alex pulled a face as she nodded. "Oh, I know. I still feel strange from the Truth Seeker myself, but it's not supposed to have any side effects. We might just be imagining it."

I shrugged, following Alex into the main operation room. "I guess so... I wonder how long Haley will keep this up. Does she really think we know who Supergirl is?"

Alex sighed. "Apparently so, which is dumb."

"This whole thing is dumb," I added, lowering my voice so I wouldn't be heard by Haley and her colleagues. "We need Supergirl. She helped us do our jobs better. Who cares who she is?"

Alex glanced at me with a questionable expression. "We were running a lot longer than Supergirl's existence, Y/N. Don't let anyone else hear you say that."

"I know... I just wish things weren't so tense around here. I don't know, I just feel strange. Forget it."

"I get you," she admitted, looking around at the other agents doing their jobs. "It is tense. But we just have to follow Haley's orders. I could care less who Supergirl is, but if Haley wants to know, we can't disobey her orders."

I nodded, rubbing my temple. "Yeah, I guess."

"Director Danvers, Agent Y/L/N!" Brainy approached us both, a neutral smile on his face. "I see you've both had your interrogations?"

"Yes, Brainy, is everything okay? Any updates on anything?" Alex asked him.

"Nothing to report," he confirmed, before looking carefully at us both.

"You okay?" I asked him, raising an eyebrow.

He straightened up, clearing his throat. "Yes. If you'll excuse me."

He turned around and walked away, leaving Alex and I confused. We'd learnt not to question him though, so I didn't think much of it.

–

A few days had passed since the Truth Seeker interrogation and Haley still hadn't found out Supergirl's identity, meaning her investigation was still intact. She was onto everyone like a hawk – even people who had never even spoken to Supergirl. It would be funny if it wasn't so serious.

In those few days, I felt a little different. I wasn't sure if it was confusion or an absence of something, but I felt strange, as if something wasn't right. And I didn't know why, but it was beginning to affect my sleep.

I chose not to think about it much, but after two weeks had passed, the feeling was running deeper than I wanted it to. It was keeping me up at night and I needed to know if I was actually losing my mind or not. Which meant I needed my best friend's advice.

"Alex, can we talk?" I asked her, seeing her standing at the control panel in the main hall.

She looked away from the screen and to me, probably noticing the serious expression on my face.

"Yeah, is everything okay?" she asked, giving me her full attention.

I breathed out. "I honestly don't know, can we talk in private?"

She nodded and I followed her down the corridors before we stopped at the end of an empty, rarely used one.

"What is it, Y/N?" she asked with concern.

I tried to collect my thoughts. "I don't know exactly, that's the thing. Ever since the interrogation with the Truth Seeker, I've been feeling... different."

Her expression softened and she seemed empathetic. "Different how?"

I licked my lips. "Like, I feel like something is missing. Or different. I just don't feel the same and I don't know why. It's been driving me insane, Alex. I feel like I'm losing my mind and I can't sleep because of it. Do you think it could be because of the Truth Seeker?"

Alex pursed her lips and crossed her arms. "It could be... I know what you mean. Not to your extent of course, but I have felt like something was off since that day. I've been dismissing it though."

I felt the tenseness in my body relax a little as she spoke, feeling glad I wasn't entirely crazy.

"I spoke to some of the other agents who were interrogated too," she continued, "but they didn't feel the same, so I don't know if it is the Truth Seeker. I even asked J'onn to check what's going on up here–" She motioned to her head. "–but nothing was wrong. I figured I was just having a bad few weeks. It's not hard for me to ignore."

I ran my hand through my hair and sighed. "I can't ignore it, that's the thing. It's making me feel restless."

"Y/N..." Alex frowned and rubbed my arm comfortingly. "We could ask J'onn to check you out if you want?"

I crossed my arms, shaking my head. "There's no point. I don't think I've got any reaction from the Truth Seeker – why would only me get it? I was actually thinking about going to see a therapist."

Alex nodded understandingly. "You think that will help?"

I smiled helplessly. "I have no idea, but it's all I got. It may just be something, you know, mentally wrong. Mental illness is frequent in my family."

Alex nodded and pulled me in for a side hug. "If you need anything from me, Y/N, just ask."

I relaxed my head on Alex's shoulder and nodded. "I know, Alex. Thanks."

She squeezed my arm reassuringly.

"Thanks for not turning into an arse or anything when you became Director, too," I added to lighten the mood.

She began to laugh as she shoved me away gently. I smiled, feeling a little better for the moment. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad. Therapy might help. If I knew what was wrong with me, I wouldn't feel so alone.

So, therapy was exactly what I did. I booked an appointment with a therapist, courtesy of the DEO's resources, for the following week and decided to power through, ignoring this distracting feeling inside of me. But that was exactly all it was – distracting, even at the most important of times.

I had been sent out on a field mission with Alex and a dozen other agents to stop some Children of Liberty attack. Somehow the Children of Liberty had a super-powered human on their side, tormenting and abusing alien and non-alien civilians alike.

When we arrived on the scene, Alex yelled out her orders, mine being to help detain the super-powered human. Myself and another agent tried shooting the person with non-lethal ballets, but it didn't seem to be doing much but angering him. He was now grabbing the nearest alien civilians and throwing them about like rag dolls.

"Distract him, I'll grab the civilian!" I yelled to my partner, Chris, gun raised.

Chris nodded and began to shoot the super-powered human to get his attention. I ran forward when his attention was diverted and helped lead the alien-civilians to the DEO trucks waiting for them. It was chaos though – Children of Liberty were fighting back all around and some alien civilians were acting out in defence, making it harder for us to do our job.

As I was helping up a woman and leading her the other way, I got jumped on by a Child of Liberty. The woman who I was helping screamed and ran away, and I managed to flip the arsehole over my shoulder and in front of me.

He stood up with ease and ran at me, shoving me to the ground. I couldn't access my gun, so I was stuck defending myself against the oncoming punches. When the man tired, I punched him in the throat and rolled him off me, looking to grab my gun.

"Leave her alone!"

I turned and saw a civilian man holding my assault rifle and aiming it at the Child of Liberty. I widened my eyes with surprise.

"Sir, drop the gun and run!" I yelled at him, before grunting as the Cbild of Liberty from before landed a punch to my jaw.

The civilian with my gun trembled and shot the gun, but he missed by far and got shoved to the ground by the super-powered human. He ripped the gun from the civilian's hand, tossing it far away, and picked up the civilian by the neck.

I dodged an oncoming punch from the Child of Liberty who was still on me and put my marital arts skills into practice, managing to dislocate his arm and pin him to the ground in an instant. I looked over my shoulder and ran towards the super-powered human, knocking him to the ground and away from the civilian, who was now screaming and running away.

I got a few punches in before I was head butted hard. It took a few seconds for my vision to focus, to which I received another punch in the face. I could feel blood dripping from my nose now, followed by the pain.

Suddenly, the super-powered human was no longer in front of me, but thrown into the side of a building. I stumbled over my own feet, trying to take in what happened, until I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around me, helping me stand up straight. I looked up and saw it was Supergirl.

"Hey, you're okay," she reassured, smiling down at me. Her breath hitched when I found her eyes, before she quickly said, "Come on."

I looked back to the super-powered human and saw some DEO agents surrounding him with guns. He was caught and could no longer hurt anyone now, thanks to Supergirl.

The blonde alien led me back to where Alex was stood, who immediately took me from Supergirl's arms and hugged me with relief.

"That looked like it hurt," Alex said, pulling away from me and giving me a rag to stop my bleeding nose.

"You have no idea," I said, trying to stop the bleeding. I turned around and saw Supergirl still standing there, though by now, Haley was heading her way and I knew things wouldn't be good.

"Thanks for that, you saved my life," I managed to say to Supergirl, who looked like she wanted to say something back, but couldn't because Haley stood before us.

"What are you doing here, Supergirl?" she immediately snapped at the alien. "You aren't part of the DEO anymore. This is an official case."

Supergirl nodded. "People were in trouble, including your agents. I help everyone and you can't stop me from doing that."

Haley didn't seem to like that response, but it didn't matter because Supergirl flew off before she could think up a reply.

"She saved my life," I spoke up, gaining Haley's attention. "I'm glad she was here."

Haley narrowed her eyes at me. "I didn't ask for your opinion, agent. But now that you've deemed it convenient for you to speak, let me say, your actions today were atrocious."

"Hal–"

"Butt out, Director Danvers," Haley cut Alex off with a glare. "This only involves Y/L/N and I." She looked back to me and said, "You managed to endanger a civilian and allow that same civilian to get ahold of your weapon. You also required Supergirl's help to get out of the mess you created. You didn't do your job."

"It won't happen again," I promised. "I wasn't thinking, I was just–"

"Distracted," she interrupted. "You were distracted, as you've been a lot recently. Don't think I haven't noticed."

"I'm going to get help," I said, wiping my nose and pleading with her. "I know I've been off, but it's not permanent. I've got a therapy session next week and I'll train more. I'll get back to how I was, I swear."

Haley shook her head. "Maybe you should pull that therapy session up to tomorrow. I don't expect anything less than perfect on my force."

I frowned, knowing where this was going. Of course she'd noticed. I hadn't been myself lately and it was showing in my actions, just like today.

"You are officially suspended from further work at the DEO, until you can prove you are mentally and physically stronger than you are now," she finalised.

"You can't just do that!" Alex yelled, but I pulled her back.

"Alex, it's okay," I mumbled, squeezing her hand.

"I'd listen to Y/L/N, Danvers," Haley said darkly. "We wouldn't want to go looking for another Director now, would we?"

Alex clenched her jaw as Haley marched away to check on some other agents. When she was out of earshot, Alex punched the car door near her.

"I can't believe she suspended you," she exploded with anger.

"It's only temporary," I told her, before breathing out. "I wish it was nonexistent, but I don't know, maybe she's right. I haven't been myself lately."

Alex's anger left her expression for the moment as she looked to me. "Y/N, you said it yourself. You're getting help. That doesn't mean you shouldn't work. You're amazing at your job and Haley shouldn't get to say otherwise!"

I shrugged, moving to lean against the car door for support. "I don't know. All I know is I need to get my shit together or I won't be coming back."

Alex looked to me with the utmost certainty. "You'll be okay. I'll help you no matter what."

And Alex didn't lie. After my first therapy session, she visited me to talk to me about how it went. I shared as much as I wanted to with her and she sat with me, not interrupting as I told her everything. She visited regularly after that, too, whilst I tried to focus on myself, whether that be with therapy or training.

After my second therapy session, Alex invited me to a game night at her sister's house. She said she wanted me to get out there a bit more, since I wasn't at the DEO anymore. I said yes, deciding it would be nice to have a change in scenery.

I'd never met Alex's little sister before, but she'd been mentioned near enough always so I was looking forward to meeting her finally.

I knocked on the apartment door and it opened to reveal Alex smiling brightly.

"You're an idiot," I told her, giving her a playful glare.

"What did I do this time?" she asked with a chuckle, stepping to the side to let me in.

I entered and turned around as Alex closed the door. "You told me the wrong apartment number in your text. I knocked on the wrong door and some poor old woman woke up from her nap because of my knocking."

Alex pulled a face. "What? No I– oh..."

She was checking her text and I rolled my eyes playfully.

"Yeah, oh," I teased before repeating, "You're an idiot."

She smiled sheepishly. "Sorry...? Anyway, you're here now, so it's all good."

I gave her a knowing look as she motioned around her. "This is Kara's apartment."

I glanced around and felt a sense of familiarity. "Have I been here before?" I asked Alex, furrowing my eyebrows. "I feel like I have."

Alex shook her head. "Not to my knowledge... Oh, Kara's coming."

I ignored the sense of deja vu I felt and turned to see a blonde woman walking towards us. She smiled as she met my eyes, but it seemed half-hearted.

"You must be Kara, Alex's little sister;" I said, smiling in return. "I'm Y/N."

Kara nodded and bit her lip as she glanced down for a moment. "Alex's little sister, right... glad to see you could make it, Y/N."

"Come on, I'll introduce you to everyone," Alex said, dragging me to the others who were sat on the couches.

I barely had chance to thank Kara for letting me come over before I was dragged and introduced to everyone. Well, I knew J'onn and Brainy already, but I befriended James and Nia. Apparently there was another girl – the infamous Lena Luthor – who was supposed to come tonight, too, but she couldn't make it.

Game night pretty much consisted of us playing several different games like Charades, Monopoly, Jenga and a few others, whilst smack-talking our day jobs. Pizza was ordered, wine was poured, and I got to know Alex's (well, Kara's) friends better. They were all lovely and I almost forgot why I was there in the first place.

We were in the middle of watching an intense game of cards between Brainy and J'onn when I saw Kara taking the takeaway boxes and empty glasses into the kitchen. I stood up and grabbed the remaining glasses, joining her in the kitchen.

"Hey, you didn't have to do that," Kara said when she noticed me.

"It's cool," I shrugged, leaving the glasses by the sink. "I don't mind washing up if you want."

Kara shook her head politely. "No need. I'll just stack the dishwasher later."

I nodded and went quiet for a moment, watching Kara pack the leftover pizza to put in the fridge.

"Thank you for having me over tonight," I said, glad to have the chance to finally speak to her without excited yelling in the background. "I know it was technically Alex who invited me, but thanks."

She paused and looked up at me, offering a small smile. "It's okay. Alex kind of told me about everything that's happening with you and she thought you could use the break. So did I."

I chuckled and felt my cheeks growing warm with embarrassment. "Wow. Your first impression of your sister's best friend is that she's crazy. Now I'm thankful you even let me in your house."

Kara stifled a laugh. "I never thought that. I just thought that there was this girl who was having some troubles and needed a break from it all. That's all."

I smiled gratefully at the blonde. "Well, I appreciate that, Kara."

Kara glanced up at me from the pizza box and I never really realised how pretty her eyes were until she was staring at me for so long. They seemed so familiar, too, and I suddenly didn't feel so lost.

"Hey, is there anymore pizza?" Alex's voice made me jump and I broke eye contact with Kara. "I'm feeling peckish."

Kara smiled at her sister and handed her another slice.

"Awesome, thanks," Alex spoke with her mouth full.

"Oh, Alex," I complained, nudging her jokingly.

Alex laughed and headed back into the living-room to join the others.

"I don't know if Alex said, but we do this every Friday," Kara spoke up, grabbing my attention again. "If you're not busy, you can come..."

I nodded, smiling softly. "I'm currently unemployed, so why not?"

Kara chuckled and bit her lip, looking down for a moment. I couldn't really get myself to look away, instead accidentally admiring her and the comforting energy she radiated.

She looked up again and nodded my way. "Does that hurt much?"

I subconsciously raised my hand to my bruised jaw and sighed. "A little. It's not as bad compared to when I first got it, but yeah."

"How did you get it? If you don't mind saying..."

I smiled at her to lighten the mood. "I was on a mission and got into a fight with some Children of Liberty. It got pretty rough because my mind has been elsewhere lately, as you know, but Supergirl saved me. She really is the girl of steel, isn't she?"

Kara suppressed a smile. "So you don't think Supergirl should stay away from the DEO?"

I pulled a face and shook my head. "Definitely not. And the fact that you know that means Alex has been telling you more than she should be... what was it you did again?"

"Journalist at CatCo," she quipped with a stifled grin of amusement.

I nodded, mirroring her expression. "Ah, see? You know the ins and outs of our work and you're a journalist. Is that really the best combo?"

Laughter slipped from her lips and I felt my heart beat exceptionally fast at that moment, to my surprise.

"I guess that just makes it easier to talk to you, though," I complimented, giving her a grateful look. "Nothing to hide."

Her grin faded into a small smile as she broke eye contact. "Yeah..."

"Are you guys coming back? We're starting another round of Jenga!" Alex called to us.

"I believe that's our cue," I said to Kara, standing up straight and making a move to leave. "You playing?"

Kara looked back up and breathed out, giving me a half-hearted smile. "Right behind you."

#kara danvers x reader #kara danvers imagine #supergirl imagine #supergirl x reader #Melissa benoist #kara danvers imagines #kara danvers x you #supergirl x you

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xxisxxisxxis · 5 years ago

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Sixty-Eight

A/N: Okay, firstly I cannot apologize enough for the delay. I'm sorry for not posting when I planned on, I have no idea how I feel about this chapter, it's all over the place and I've honestly thought of erasing it and starting back over but that'd take even longer and I don't want to make you guys wait any more. I'm sorry for falling through on my assurance I'd post by Friday.

Timeline in case anyone is wondering, this chapter starts around the 18th of September (flashback is last couple days in July) and ends at the end of September.

I hope you guys like it, perfectly understandable if y'all don't and I will be trying harder next time. Thank you🖤

P.S.--I haven't forgotten about the "D" Viv gets tattooed on her, it's being mentioned in the next chapter.

Words: 4.4K

Warning(s): Explicit language, violence, mentions of drug abuse, mentions of sexual abuse, insensitive implication of suicide.

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LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

I'm taking another bite of eggs, before an issue of Playboy is plopped down in front of me, into my food.

I was expecting the cover to hit stands sooner, rather than later. We went back on tour the first of September, and the issue wasn't out until September 16, a couple days after getting back on tour from a separate break that took place a week and a half after our first break at the end of July did.

I'm on the cover, naked, and I hesitantly run my eyes up Doc's body to his eyes, giving an uneasy smile, knowing I'm in trouble.

I swallow my food and he glares at me.

Within ten minutes, he's got all of us back into another meeting.

"Playboy?!" He's pacing the floor, throwing his hands up. "Y-You…" he trails off, the vein popping out on his forehead.

I look around and notice everybody--Ross, Fred, Tommy, Vince, Mick, Rich--has got a copy of it, flipping through, including Nikki, and I feel my face heat up, slowly sliding down in my seat.

"...Playboy!" Doc gets out again, before he starts laughing.

"Was a staff meeting really necessary for this?" I ask him.

"I mean, it could be worse." Fred tries to take up for me as my question is ignored.

"Yeah, she could've went behind our backs and shot a porno." Vince adds, glancing at me. "...or did you do that, too?"

Apparently I don't deny that quick enough because Doc is looking at me with an even more severe look.

"Did you?!" He asks.

"No?!" I argue, starting to get pissed. "I posed for Playboy, what's the big deal?"

Doc starts laughing again.

"What's the big deal? What's the big deal? What's the bi--what's the big deal?!" He pulls at his hair. "I am about to have a heart attack. I am about to have a heart attack. You--" he lets out a loud yell of frustration and we all look at each other. "--Are you trying to kill me, Viv?! 'Cause I feel like you are!"

"From a photography perspective, they're quite beautiful photos." Ross says positively.

"Yes, I for one want to express my gratitude and admiration for Saint Viv's--well, Dirty Stripper Viv's--contribution to the livelihood of many a jerking offs." Vince states. "Also would like to note," he looks at a particular picture of me before adding, "I've only imagined her doing this position but now that it's here on paper, I'd like her to demonstrate--slowly, in detail--exactly how she twisted hersel--"

"--Dude, shut up!" Tommy snaps, his hands over his eyes, his head back, and Vince grins at me, making me roll my eyes.

It kind of scares me how quiet Nikki is as he calmly thumbs through his.

"Okay." Doc takes a deep breath. "When did this happen?" He asks me.

"I got an offer in the mail, and took them up on it, and when we were in Chicago I went by their studio." I explain. "I still don't know what the big deal is. I thought it was the idea for rockstars and Playboy models to be together."

Doc looks at me with flared nostrils before flipping through his magazine.

"Whose is this?" He asks, turning the magazine around to show me, his finger on Duff's bass.

I just look at him, not knowing what to say.

"I know what every bass of Nikki's looks like and it's got too many personalized ticks on it for it to be a random prop they tossed at you." He adds.

The room is quiet for a moment.

"It's Duff's." Nikki says and Doc raises his brows.

"The fuck is that?" He questions me.

"Guns N' Roses bassist." Nikki informs him, his tone neutral.

I'm afraid to look at him, knowing it's gonna break my heart.

"The band that you've been in my ear about bringing on the tour?"

Nikki let's out a confirming sigh and Doc looks at me.

"So this kid's gonna bring this bass to play on tour, and everybody's gonna recognize it when they flip through your little stunt here," he waves the magazine, "and it's all gonna come together and they're gonna realize a few days after Vanity allegedly dropped a bombshell about her and Nikki supposedly having an affair--which is said to be bullshit--his wife comes out humping another man's fuckin' bass." He tells me and I roll my eyes. "You roll your eyes all you want. Vanity fucking fried all of us, and then you decided to toss us into the fucking fire. Not that I expect anything different from a goddamn Sixx at this point. You both know how to make shit worse than it already is."

"I highly doubt they'll notice, Doc." Tommy cuts in again.

"You stay out of this." Doc snaps at him.

Another beat of silence goes by.

"Nikki? Your thoughts? You're her fucking husband. You helped kickstart this snowball of shit that just keeps getting bigger and bigger. What's your fucking opinion on her doing this? Am I gonna have to worry about you bending another girl over on stage and going to town in retaliation or what?" Doc sarcastically throws out there. "I mean nothing will fucking surprise my anymore. I just need to know what I need to prepare to clean up next."

My heart pounds as I look at Nikki, liner smudged, tired eyes, glancing at me as he lets out a defeated sigh.

"She's a grown woman, Doc." He surprisingly says and I widen my eyes in shock, as everyone else looks worried that Nikki's not screaming at me for it right now.

Not yet, at least.

"That's it?" Doc asks him, raising his brows. "She didn't say a word about it, didn't give a warning, a heads up, nothing, and she comes out like this and you have absolutely nothing to fucking say?"

Nikki just shrugs.

"She just does whatever the hell she wants to do. Doesn't matter how I'd feel before, why does it matter what I feel like, now? Like I said, she's grown. Whatever she wants to do, she can do." He finishes, standing up to leave.

"Nikki, are you fucking me right now?!" Doc complains as Nikki heads to the door. "You flip your shit over tiny stuff but your own wife does this without even telling you about it and you just brush it off?!"

"Just because she calls me 'daddy' doesn't mean I can act like her fucking father, Doc." Nikki sternly says and my face heats up. "We're not even together so why the fuck would I care what she does or who she does it with?"

His bark was "I don't give a fuck" and "she can do whatever she wants", but a couple months later his bite was "you aren't worth a fucking thing which is why you had to get naked in a magazine to get validation in the first place" then proceeded to bare his teeth down further into my heart by adding, "just another pussy to unload in and get on to the next attention-humping slut."

The next thing I knew, Duff was knocking him to the ground and the two of them started ripping into each other like dogs.

Once the meeting is over, after another hour of going back and forth, feeling like I was going to vomit from impending guilt, I'm getting back to my room and making a beeline for the toilet.

I take a deep breath once I'm done, wiping the few tears from my cheeks.

I don't feel bad for posing…the entire meeting it took everything not to confess that me posing naked with Duff's bass should be the least of their worries, compared to what other activities I've gotten up to with him the last time the band had a couple days off and we went back to L.A.

The sound of my room phone ringing pulls me out of my head

“Hello?” I answer.

“H-Hey.” I hear Tansy’s voice on the other end and I perk up.

“Hey, Tans, how’re you feeling?” I ask her, nervously.

“Good, um…” She lets out a soft sigh. “...I relapsed.”

I close my eyes for a moment, exactly like I did last week, and the week before, and the week before, and so on.

After Sparkie did his damage, Tansy promised to swear the bastard off. But within two weeks of her incident, she was back with him, only because her babysitters--Slash and Steven--left her unattended and she ran off to find him.

They’d find her, threaten Sparkler, bring her back home and the second they turned around long enough, she was gone again.

Nikki had ordered them that she wasn't supposed to be around Sparkie because he had "accidentally" taken it too far while they were messing around…

Skylar squeals as tickle at her stomach, shampoo sticking her blonde hair straight up while Sharise runs a wash cloth over Sky's back.

When she's done, she's wringing the water out of it.

"Sky, we gotta wash the shampoo out of your hair." I tell her.

"Nuh." She protests, shaking her head.

"Skylar, we gotta get the shampoo out so we can get conditioner in your hair and get the tangles out."

"Nuh." She states, looking at us like we're crazy.

"Don't be a diva like daddy." Sharise tell her, raising her brows.

"Da-da?"

"Da-da's golfing." She replies.

Skylar looks between us.

"Nuh." She argues. "Beebee." She points at me.

Sharise looks at me and hands me the little plastic cup she uses to rinse Sky's hair.

"I'm gonna grab a towel from the couch." Sharise tells me. "Let Veevee rinse your hair."

Skylar's cooperative, letting me get the shampoo from her hair and letting me put conditioner in and rinsing it out.

When we're done, Sharise is picking Skylar up from the bath and wrapping her in her towel.

The phone starts ringing and I dry hands off and stand up.

"I'll get it." I assure Sharise.

"Alright, it could be Vince. He said he'd call before he headed home."

"Okay."

I go to the living room and pick the phone up.

"Hello?"

"I'm coming by to pick you up." It's Nikki, and I furrow my brows and look at the time.

"What're you doing up before two o'clock?"

"I got a call from a hospital in Malibu. Tansy's in surgery right now."

My blood runs cold and I can't get my thoughts together.

"Just be ready when I get there." He adds. "I'm leaving the house, now."

"O-Okay."

He hangs up and I head to Skylar's room where Sharise is helping her pick out some clothes.

"That was Nikki." I inform her and she looks at me. "Tansy's at the hospital in the middle of a surgery."

"Oh my God, is she okay?"

"I don't know."

"Is she having more heart problems or--"

"--I have no idea, Sharise. Nikki didn't explain."

Despite her body being pumped full of varying drugs, none of them caused her to be sent to the ER. Something else entirely, did though.

"She's more susceptible to complications during surgery due to her previous heart problems and her drug use. She did decide to sign a DNR--"

"--I'm sorry, what's been signed?" Nikki raises his brows at the nurse.

"A do-not resuscitate order. Meaning if she were to code, we can not perform cardiopulmonary resuscitation."

"So you just fucking let her die?!"

"Nikki, they had to explain to her what it meant, and she still agreed--" I'm cut short.

“--You know how much fucking heroin she fucking shoots on a daily basis?! I'm not even sure she could fucking see to sign her God damn in the first place, let alone comprehend you motherfuckers selling her death!" Nikki barks and the nurse sighs.

“Nikki, she’ll be fine.” I try to tell him.

"Fuck that!" He screams, fear in his eyes.

"Nikki, that's only if something goes wrong, alright? So far everything is going okay." I try to reassure him, my eyes drifting to her nurse. "Right?"

The surgery itself was going smoothly. One thing Tansy didn't tell us, however, was one of her kidneys was shot from her drug and alcohol abuse, and she asked her doctor to go ahead and take the thing out.

"She's in good hands." Is all the nurse says, before adding, "she should be out in a couple more hours."

She walks away and Nikki shakes his head and lets out a heavy breath.

"It'll be okay." I say to him.

“You gonna fucking pray about it or something?” He sneers at me.

“Yes.”

“Right, imaginary friends solve all of the world’s problems.”

“There’s nothing wrong with me doing something that brings me some peace.” I argue.

“You’ve been praying for me for the past six years. Feel any fucking peace, yet?” He snaps.

Believe it or not, no. I hadn’t felt any fucking peace.

It doesn’t take Tansy much longer to get out of surgery, and Nikki and I are horrified when her doctor explains what exactly he was repairing, being that the nurse wouldn’t tell us.

“Like...a shooter sized bottle--”

“--Pint.” He says to us and Nikki and I look at eachother.

“They tried to fit a pint sized bottle of Jack into her…?” I trail off.

“Well, they made it fit, it just didn’t stay intact.” He replies.

“The bottle of her vagina?” I question.

“I had to stitch up her vaginal wall extensively, and made sure to remove every piece of glass, including micrograins. Her left fallopian tube would have been compromised if the piece of glass that completely punctured through her vaginal wall, would have moved 0.004mm, which is about the thickness of a single strand of hair.” He states. “She’s very lucky her uterus or ovaries weren’t compromised. That wouldn’t have been as easy of a fix.”

“A--A bottle?” I’m stll stuck on them fitting a fucking bottle into her, my face twisted in horror as my stomach drops and my skin crawls.

He holds up a small container and rattles it around, the sound of glass swishing around making me cringe.

“Jesus fucking christ.” Nikki lets out.

“I’m going to tell her when she wakes, but please reiterate after me, that the next time she and her partner wish to add some heat to their sex life, maybe try not to be so blatantly reckless.” He suggests and Nikki and I nod, still speechless.

In a couple more hours, Nikki and I’s ears perk when she groans a little, our eyes shifting to look at her in her hospital bed.

Her bright blue eyes blink open, her brows furrowed in confusion, and it seems everything slowly falls into place for her.

“Tans?” Nikki says and she looks straight at him, just blinking.

“Where’s Sparkie?” She asks and we look at each other.

“We haven’t seen him.” I explain.

“Oh.” She quietly mumbles, closing her eyes again for a moment.

“Tansy, what the hell happened?” Nikki starts, a sharp tone in his voice.

She looks at me, carefully, before speaking.

“We were just trying to spice things up.” She says softly.

“With a fucking Jack Daniel’s bottle that clearly wouldn’t naturally fit inside of you?” He lets out.

She doesn’t say a word back, I almost think she doesn’t hear him, until she says:

“I’m not fighting right now.”

“Let’s just let her rest, okay?” I suggest. “She’s exhausted and she doesn’t need to be stressed out right now.”

Nikki sighs, but keeps his mouth shut.

After a few more minutes, I’m wanting a snack.

“You have any cash?”

He looks at me and I give him my best smile, making him exhale softly, digging in his back pocket for his wallet.

“How much?” He asks, clearing his throat.

“Like, a couple bucks.” I shrug and he hands it to me. “Thank you.”

I go to the vending machines past the waiting area, to see Sparkie sitting by the window, eating his food, and I glare at him as I walk by.

He doesn’t see me, unfortunately, and I just keep going to the Pepsi Cola machine calling my name.

I want to go curse him out, but Tansy doesn’t need the stress, and being they were both high as a kite, I can’t solely put the blame on him and only him.

She should have just left him years ago. All he’s been is trouble that she doesn’t need.

I get my Pepsi and a pack of M&Ms, walking around a little to stretch my legs since I’ve been sitting for hours.

I let out a heavy breath when I remember I’m nearly out of Nardil, being I flushed a majority of my bottle down the toilet in an angry effort.

I’ll make sure to call in some more before we leave for the next leg of the tour.

As I start on my way back to the room, I’m interrupted by the sight of Nikki and Sparkie standing face to face in the waiting room, and I drop my Pepsi and food when Nikki slams Sparkie’s head into the wall without a single word beforehand.

“Sir!” The receptionist yells, standing up as I go to them as fast as I can to get Nikki off of him as he grabs his shirt and punches the shitfire out of Sparkie, one of his teeth crumbling to the floor.

“I’m gonna fucking kill you!” He promises as he punches him two more times, not taking a breath in between with no signs of stopping his assault until Sparkie’s brain is bursting from his skull, but I’m managing to get Nikki off of him, making him drop Sparkie to the floor, his nose and mouth busted up as security comes in.

We were escorted out, and when we got home I called Steven and informed him what happened to Tansy, leaving out what actually happened because I didn’t need anyone else possibly being sued for trying to kill Sparkie, and he went to keep an eye on her.

“Anyone else you want to beat the shit out of while we’re home?” I snap as we get to the car. “First Vanity, now Sparkie--”

"--What, you wanna go back in there and coddle him the way you did Vanity?" He hisses and I roll my jaw.

"You know exactly why I 'coddled' her."

"Oh, right, because men aren't suppose to hit women so I'm an evil bastard for knocking the shit out of her even though she was punching and hitting at me."

"I've punched and hit at you and you've never--"

"--She came into our house, attacked me, and punched you, too, Vivian! I had a reason to bust her face up a little bit!"

"I can handle shit myself, Nikki, there was no need for you to hit her like that!"

"It's called 'equal rights'! All you women want is to be seen equally and shit! You fucking punch me like you're a man, I'm gonna fucking punch you back, like you're a fucking man! Don't hit me like you've got bigger balls than I do and then scream and cry and whine and plead 'frail, innocent, victimized, dainty, woman' when you get treated equally!"

"I don't do that!"

"No, but you sure as hell were all about feeding the cracked out beast when she fucking did!"

"That's it. I'm walking home."

"Walking home? We're forty minutes away from L.A., Viv."

"I'll hitch a ride! I'd rather be in a car with a sketchy stranger than be trapped with you for the next hour!"

"You've been trapped with me the past four years!" He barks.

"Not for much longer, thank God!" I bite out and his face slowly falls. "I didn't mean it like that."

"Pretty sure going our separate ways is just inevitable for us at this point, Viv, so it's fine." He brushes it off and my heart hurts at the thought. "And I'm sorry for going after Sparkie in public. But I'm not apologizing for defending Tansy. I'm not ever gonna be sorry for defending any of my friends."

“What happened, Nikki?” I ask him. “What the hell made you go after him like that? You were fine when I left.”

He lets out a breath, his nostrils flaring, his knuckles gripping tightly to the wheel as he closes his eyes and forces himself to calm down, before saying:

“Nothing. I just really thought about it and it got to me.”

I didn’t find out what happened until Tansy told me months down the road, and nobody else knows that’s actually what happened.

If Stevie and Slash knew what really occurred to put Tansy in that shape to begin with, they would’ve killed Sparkie the second Tansy first went back and "relapsed" on him.

"Tansy, he hurt you." I remind her. "And I know it was an accident but it doesn't matter. He could've seriously messed you up more than he did."

"I know, but I love him, Viv." She argues.

"Tansy--"

"--Nikki shot you. And you're still with him."

"Because Nikki was high out of his mind and didn't realize he actually was shooting at me. He thought I was someone after him."

"Sparkie was fucked up and didn't know he was hurting me."

"Who the hell shoves a pint-sized glass bottle up their cunt to begin with, Tansy?" I raise my voice, getting aggravated with her.

"I'm gonna go." She tells me, calmly, after a moment of being quiet. "And I saw your Playboy issue--Steven got it. You look very beautiful." She genuinely says and I let out a defeated breath.

"Thanks."

"I'll talk to you later, Viv, okay?"

"Got it."

"I love you, bye."

"I love you, too, bye-bye."

I hang up and fall back on the bed, groaning loudly in frustration.

"How the hell can someone be as passively suicidal as she is?" I let out.

I'd find out soon enough.

In the last ten days of September, "Girls, Girls, Girls" is certified double-platinum, a $5000 lawsuit is filed against the band after a mother had apparently suffered "severe hearing dysfunction and mental anguish" at a recent concert.

I wish I could sew these bastards for hearing dysfunction and mental anguish because God himself sure as shit knows I've had my fair share of it due to them, too.

By the end of the month, Nikki has Doc convinced to bring Guns N Roses on tour for the south leg, starting at the end of October…and I don't know how to feel about it.

"Are you not excited about it?" Fred asks me after Doc leaves his hotel room after coming in to tell me the news. "Thought they were your buddies." He adds and I look at him from where I'm eating a fry from the fast food bag that he'd gone and got for us.

"They are." I confirm, nodding. "I'm excited."

"...You just acted like Doc told you we were going to a funeral." He chuckles, sipping his drink and I lick my lips a little.

"No, it's great, I'm just a little stressed out." I shrug. "But I'm fine."

"Viv, what's going on?" He's not buying it and Iet out a soft breath, nervously picking the skin from the instead of my cheek with my teeth.

"There's just a slight complication." I tell him and he raises his brows.

"I'm all ears." He offers and I exhale, shaking my head a little, before opting for a way to confess my sins to him without him knowing I'm the one that needs forgiveness.

"Well, you know how Sparkie and Tansy have been together for a long time?"

"Yeah." He nods.

"She's really good friends with Axl, too, and her and Sparkie have been having some problems and might even break up so Tansy's been anxious and panicking a little, and, well…" I think for a moment. "...over this past break, Tansy slept with Axl." I say and his brows raise. "Who's the singer for Guns, and they've kinda been having a weird relationship situation thing happening ever since, but she's still with Sparkie, and being that she and Sparkie are along for the tour, Axl's gonna be around and she doesn't want Sparkie to find out what's been happening."

"Why won't Tansy just break things off with Sparkie?"

"She doesn't want to hurt him."

"He's a piece of shit to her, are you kidding me? I'd tell that motherfucker he could go blow his fucking brains out over it." He scoffs, chewing his burger and I feel my heart sink, apparently he reads the look on my face. "Sorry, I forget women are wired a different way than guys are." He apologizes, swallowing his food before saying:

"Does Axl make her happier, you think?"

"Sparkie's just exhausting her at this point. I think she really loves him, she's just tired of fighting and she hasn't had any peace in years, you know? She's just really tired. But when she's with Axl, she feels like everything isn't falling apart. She's at peace."

"I think she's gotta tell Sparkie they just aren't working anymore. And be honest about how she feels instead of trying to brush over it and find ways to escape from it. I've seen her do some questionable shit, and I know it's because she's in pain and just doesn't want to deal with what's hurting her. I think this fling she's got with this dude is another way of crying for a way out, but she feels like she's too trapped to actually leave Sparkie." He explains.

I nod slowly, tearing up a little.

"I'm just worried about it, is all."

"Don't be." He shakes his head. "Just tell her what I just told you, and maybe she'll be done with Sparkie before Guns comes on a month from now."

I take a deep breath and close my eyes for a moment.

"I doubt it." I say so quietly he doesn't even hear it.

I felt like I'd gotten a little bit of my guilt off my chest--aside from the fact that I was leaving out a minor detail:

"Sparkie" = Nikki, "Tansy" = Vivian, and, "Axl" = Duff.

#nikki sixx #mötley crüe #nikki sixx x oc #nikki sixx fanfiction #gateway drug

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