#thought about reposting it but idk how i feel abt it now

[euphietea]

revisiting fics from the old blog from 2021 is surely an experience. i was indeed, a thirsty hoe (and still am)

[weirdsht]

Hello! Good morning lol. I hope you're doing well :₱ i gotta say ur writing is good and addicting. I keep coming back it's eating me alive

I have a thought abt ur recent yan!cale post :₱

What if Cale actually got sum magical jewelry on the reader that prevents their risky, suic1d∆l powers from working? The reader realizes it's basically stuck to them and is unable to take it off, remaining stuck unless someone powerful in magic, like Eruhaben, removes it personally. They feel off about it at first, though they eventually accept it because it was Cale who really wanted it on them, and they believe that he's someone who wants nothing but the safety of his loved ones. But then---

Reader gets kidnapped, gets harmed in the worst way possible-

Lol sorry, idk why but yandere cale is so-

😆💞

Blood-Red Garnet - Yan!Cale/Reader

notes: my visualization for the bracelet

tags: gender-neutral reader, yandere cale, torture and injuries (nothing too graphic), hints of possessiveness, hints of unhealthy relationship and dependency but reader doesn't realise it

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read navi)

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A shiny gold bracelet with a piece of blood-red jewel in the middle was dangled in [name]’s face by Cale. It was a gift, or so he says. Told the ability user that it’s both an accessory and a preventative measure.

“Preventative measure? For what?”

“For your abilities. I don’t want you dying on me because of your reckless power.”

[Name] wore the bracelet even though they were hesitant at first. Their ability was their primary way of fighting. However, Cale was right. That ability is too dangerous. Plus, they still know how to wield a sword and fight hand-to-hand combats so they should be fine.

“By the way you can only use your abilities if I allow it or if a dragon dispels the magic on that thing.”

Right..?

Apparently not.

[Name] desperately stares at the three pieces of garnet in their bracelet. As if it would magically come off if they stared at it hard enough.

When the ability user first got the bracelet they were happy whenever they looked at the garnet it holds. The colour reminds them of Cale’s hair. Reminds them that the young master gifted it to them because he was concerned for their well-being.

However, now the jewel brings them frustration. The enchantment was placed on those three small circles. If only [name] can remove them.

Then maybe they won’t be subjected to this torture anymore.

“Your beloved commander won't save you. Just tell us where he is right now and whether or not his unconscious. We’ll let you have a quick death once you do.”

“If I’m gonna die either way then I’ll gladly keep everything to my– AHHH!”

[Name]’s words got cut off as another one of their fingers was broken by the torturer interrogating them.

“Are you sure you can take more of this? I can still break your toes if you’re so adamant.”

The torturer mocked them. Gently caressing his fingers over their feet before looking back again at their messed-up fingers.

[Name] merely laughs. They might be beaten up and have no way of fighting as their ability is suppressed, but they won’t say anything. Not now, not ever.

“Torture me all you– keugh! All you want. You won’t get an ounce of information from me.”

Despite being beaten up and coughing up blood, the ability user still had a smile on their face. A mocking smile that seems to rival their torturer’s mocking tone earlier.

The torturer’s face contorts in anger. He looked as if his ready to kill the ability user. Honestly, [name] thinks that would be better. They were getting tired too, they didn’t know how much more pain they could take.

Craaaaack! Psshhh

Just about when the torturer was raising a sword to inflict more pain on [name], a red thunderbolt suddenly fried the man. He was thoroughly burned to a crisp, almost like chicken deep fried in oil.

It was so strong that everyone within the vicinity could feel the anger of those thunderbolts.

And [name] didn’t need to see where it came from to know that it was Cale who did that.

“[Name]! We’re here to rescue you! I’m sorry for being late, I’m sure Saint Jack can heal you…”

Raon spoke in their head while supporting their back. His voice sounded as if he was crying. [Name] could also feel their back becoming wet.

“It’s okay. I’ll be fine”

The ability user comforted the toddler. They want to pet him but it’s impossible due to the state of their hands. Raon nodded, his cheeks squishing on [name]’s back. Once he regained his composure he used flight magic on them so they could get out of the cell.

Crash! Bang! Tak!

Outside was chaotic. At the centre of that chaos was Cale and all of his ancient powers running rampant. His face was contorted in something that can only be described as fury. All their other friends had to keep their distance because it almost looked as if the redhead was not in the right state of mind.

“The human has been like that ever since you got kidnapped! I don’t think I’ve seen him that angry.”

Raon tattled as they went closer to Cale. Despite looking like his out of his mind he had enough sanity left to create a path for [name] and Raon.

Cale’s face softened for a moment when he was face to face with [name]. However, it didn’t last long once he saw their state. There’s blood flowing out of their mouth. Wounds of varying degrees littered across their body. Not to mention the absolute wreck of a state their hands are in.

“I’ll be fine.”

[Name] tried to assure Cale who was stroking their cheek. But he isn’t having it. He could see how the ability user is using every fibre of their being to not wince. Probably so that Raon won’t cry anymore.

“Yes, you’ll be fine.”

Cale will make sure of it.

But for now, he must take care of these lowlifes that dare touch what’s his.

“Sleep. When you wake up we’ll be back home.”

Following Cale’s words, [name] closed their eyes. Succumbing to sleep as if the chaos happening behind them didn’t exist.

“Raon, Saint Jack is down there with Rosalyn. Tell him to make sure not a single scar will remain on [name]’s body.”

His negligence already allowed someone else to take his [name], he’ll be damned if he allows another man’s mark to linger on their body.

“Once we get home let’s ask Eruhaben-nim to put some defensive spell in that bracelet.”

“Let’s do that human! We’ll be going now! Be careful, I know you’re angry but you can’t cough blood!”

With that, the toddler used his magic to [name] to where Jack is. Leaving Cale to run wild.

Best to say that no enemy got out of that place alive after Cale was done with them.

[nitrokiraru]

i finished listening to the takutowa drama cd! my thoughts/ig spoilers under the cut

MAN IT WAS SOOOO CUTE N WHOLESOME exactly what i expected. it was a little shorter (? maybe the madatowa one just had more tracks) but the story was sweet about how taku came to terms with himself and the clinic and towa. including some screenshots from the translation credit to yukirayu (also if anybody doesn’t want their translations reposted/screenshotted just let me know and i’ll edit it out!)

this. this was perfect. literally LOVED this towa completely taking advantage of this old man and his new muscles from getting out of fuckin PRISON. he’s so funny

JEALOUS TOWA!!!!!!! HE APPEARS u already heard of old man jealous yandere taku in the vn now get ready for Him. i loved this i love them bickering like a literal married couple BUT WHEN TAKU SAID THAT IN THE FIRST IMAGE I WAS LIKE??? n then i realized oh nobody knows they be fuckin it kinda makes sense but i would’ve been mad/jealous too idk

towa can lie all he want but i know he was jelly i can literally imagine what his facial expression was in this part. he’s such a lil tsundere i love him

this was oddly adorable towa is just like “again :)” and then taku’s just like Huh?.. it gave dmmd bad end

something i realized abt n+c drama cds (or just the dmmd and surodame ones i’ve listened to) they always have some sort of conflict in the middle. like they LOVE the miscommunication trope

my only complaint is that i lowkey wanted it to be longer. i wish we had tracks of towa and taku just hanging around in their appt or something..like i feel like they’re just peak married couple vibes and they could’ve explored that a bit more besides the main plot

but anyways i loved it! i wanna buy the other ones now even though i’m not particularly big fans of the other ships. don’t get me wrong i like all ships there’s just certain ones that give me more brainworms than others

[starrixle]

my final thoughts on sootcest

ok, so officially im gonna close off my thoughts here. ive received a good amount of feedback so this will be the last thing ill say abt my thoughts on glitterduo/sootcest:

i am indifferent on selfcest shipping. idk if its proship or not, but i will remain distanced either way, for my own and other people's comfort with me and my content

i still enjoy bursonas and i will still keep drawing them and be present in the fandom, but i will not be involved in anything relating to shipping

any glitterduo art i post will be strictly platonic, same for any of the other bursonas

i do not hate or support sootcest, nor will i attack anyone who ships it. i do not care what your opinion is, i won't hate you for shipping bursonas together. just do not involve me in it

it is not my or anyone else's place to speak on wilbur's boundaries, only himself

as for my own boundaries:

do not involve me in discourse relating to sootcest (or selfcest altogether). i dont want to be associated

do not repost my old romantic glitterduo art. i cant force everyone, but id appreciate if any reblogs relating to my older art were deleted

if you disagree with anything i say, it is not worth any more of my time or energy to argue back, and it is not worth yours either

please stop messaging me about sootcest!!! i will leave my inbox open but i will close it if i continue to get messages about it

i haven't given myself much of a chance to step back and realize how much getting involved and constantly feeling the need to post lengthy texts towards by thoughts has taken so much energy out of me. i do regret having an aggresive tone in my past impulsively made posts, which is why ive deleted a lot of them. but from now on, i wish to just remain as an artist that just likes drawing silly little wilbur personas. shipping bursonas shouldn't be a big deal to me. i have made my own mistakes throughout this whole thing, but i at least wanna close things off here.

i know my old glitterduo art has brought enjoyment/comfort to many people, but it has also brought discomfort for others including myself. i know im not gonna be able to please everyone and people will have their disagreements towards me no matter what.

but for the sake of my own comfort, im stepping away from this subject. i have no ill feelings towards anyone who has communicated with me about this topic, and i thank everyone who has been civil towards me and given me advice.

im moving on.

[golbrocklovely]

you know, I thought i might of been annoying with the amount of asks i send you, and that still might be true but people apparently love me… so im sticking around 😂 gotta build this aussie anon fandom… buy the merch (its just a tshirt with koala ears on the anon icon and ‘xplr me daddy’ across the shoulder blades)

also absolute fkn ditto to your post abt snc needing a villain era. especially colby. I learnt just the other day that apparently he goes thru this m drama every time he’s snapped with a girl. like every time, for years. that’s gotta be so horrible. like imagine being the constant reason your friends or dates get harassed online just for being around you. you’d feel like poison. i truly hope he finds someone who couldnt give two flying quacks abt that stuff. heck, if it were me (lemme dream, alright) and i knew this wasn’t just a once off thing… i was going to say my acct would be private and i’d have ‘message from strangers’ turned off… but i already have all that… Colby, I’m ready!!! lmao i jk i jk (or do I 👀)

anyway, back to colby fighting in the clubs. you said he’s possessive… im curious about that. like in a protective way over the people he cares about, or actually like “this is my person, back off” type? either way, hella shmexxyy

- aussie anon

omg this is such a long response so i'm sorry in advance lol

haha no you're totally okay to keep sending in asks. no one has a problem with it, especially me :)

and omg an "xplr me daddy" shirt would be hysterical and i'm surprised they haven't done one (even jokingly) before lol

and yes, it's not just girls colby is interested in either. it's EVERY girl - date, friend, stranger - it doesn't matter. if fans can find out who she is, they will send her hate. or at the very least bombard her with questions as to how she knows colby, what's he like, ect. it's honestly very embarrassing to be in this fandom sometimes strictly bc of that type of shit.

i've talked about how i've felt on colby's love life ad nauseum on here, but i don't mind speaking on it more. i genuinely believe this fandom needs a HUGE reality check. bc there are too many ppl in this fandom that believe they have a say in what he does with said love life. and now it's bled over into sam's.

the golden child apparently can do wrong now lol

like on xplrclub, they literally APOLOGIZED (half-heartedly, but still said sorry) for the pics of them with the girls leaking over new years. and that's just fucking bonkers to me. there is no reason two 27 year old men should be saying sorry to a bunch of random girls they have never met before and don't even know exist bc they are going out and having fun and dating. and what makes it worse is snc felt the need to do this. they don't need to explain anything to us, especially about their private lives.

and the amount of fucking fans i saw saying "well if you wanted to have a private life, keep it private. don't post things." and it's like…… idk how many times i have to say this, but SNC ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. them not telling you about a girl they are fucking with is not a betrayal. they don't know you. they couldn't even pick you out of a line up of two ppl. stop thinking your opinion is neccessary, especially when it comes to their personal lives. you aren't owed an explanation. idc if you've been in this fandom for years, given them tons of money, have a fan account dedicated to them on every site, repost their content all the time - NONE of that matters. you are a random person, you are a statistic. a view count. and while yes, snc care about us, that doesn't mean they KNOW you or that your opinion is VALID.

you wouldn't like a random person coming onto your account and bitching at you about your life choices, right? so why do you think snc deserve that? bc they're public figures? NOPE, not a good enough reason. you want to bitch at them about content and the choices they make on that? that's fine. but private, personal shit they do is none of your concern or business.

and i know there are plenty of fucking ppl that will call me a hypocrite bc god forbid i talk about snc's love lives - but reality is i know my opinion isn't worth shit. i'm not coming up into their comments, @ ing them every chance i get, just to give them my two cents. i do my best to keep it light hearted and silly. none of what i talk about is serious or direly needed info. which is also why i do it on a site they aren't privy to. they're not on here. me complaining into the void doesn't effect them. and i'm also extremely aware of the fact that i don't know everything. i don't know the full story, never will, and i'm not OWED it either.

sorry, that was a really long rant. but i'm just…. so done with the fandom rn lol i've been reading ppl complaining for too long about shit they don't deserve to complain about and it's just annoying at this point.

but to bring it back to your ask - i hope colby, and sam too, find a girl that fucking PARADES that she's dating him. of course, with colby or sam's consent. if i was dating one of them, i would rub in these fans' faces, and i mean that wholeheartedly. aww, you're upset i'm fucking your man? TOO BAD WOMP WOMP lmao

and as for colby being possessive, he's said it in some tweets in years' past. he's tweeted out before "Im such a protective, jealous person wow" and "I'm overly protective" followed by someone asking him "so that means if you had a girlfriend you'd protect her a lot" and he replied with "protect her with my life". so, i see him as being a very loyal person, who is protective of the ppl he deems as "his", so to speak.

in a relationship, my guess is that while he's not obsessive or demanding, he is very much like "you are my girlfriend". i don't see him to be the type to say you can't talk to this guy or be friends with these ppl, nothing like that. but he reads to me like the type to keep his arm around you while at the club, that way any guy that sees you know you're taken by him.

also side note, i know as a woman i should be like i'm my own person, i'm no one's but my own, blah blah blah. but a guy that's just a twinge bit possessive is hot. i'm sorry, it's my red flag and i know it is sksksks

[ryansjane]

Hello! Idk how to approach this bc it's a sensitive issue. But I have a question. If you dont want to answer I understand. warning upsetting and sensitive subject ig. 

Was there ever a follow up on the ''drake is a potential transphobe'' issue? Bc i learned it from your blog, and the last thing i know abt is that he made a sorry a$$ excuse of an 'apology'. I just got rmded abt it when you rbed your 'my tee' gifset (damn that show was a rollercoaster of ‘wtfs’ lol). 

And since the actor ''O**.Pa***'', I want to be cautious about these issues (bc it came out of nowhere and slapped me in the face and I’ve been disgusted with him(O.Pa) ever since). 

I am asking you bc I dont know Thai ppl on here, and I learnt it(the drake situation) with you. I also know there is something culturally that could potentially also apply. That in country n1 (here Thailand) smthng happens is different from country n2 or 3 or 4. (like I rmbr abt the thing with cis actors who talked abt trans actors and everything). I agree abt the fact that we, I, come from NOT the same culture and we, I, have to take it into account.

 But in this case I'm REALLY not sure it’s about a ‘’different culture’’ situation. Bc you know, it was very transphobic and also yah andr** tat*... So ig I want to be sure abt the media/ppl I'm involving myself with. 

If you answer this thank you, and even if not.

hi! I've addressed the drake issue when a follower sent me his apology, which I personally thought was good bc he took accountibility & did say he respects everyone. the one thing missing was an explanation though, which is annoying bc it's what misses from most thai actors controversies. but personally, I did think he was being genuine & not a transphobe, though I am definitely biased since drake is one of my favorite thai actors. I've talked multiple times about the cultural differences between "ladyboys" (katoey) & trans people: though now most "ladyboys" now identify as trans women bc they've learned about the western term for it, they were historically considered as a sort of third gender in thailand. that means it is more globally accepted to say things about them in thailand that would be seen as insensitive in the west, and thai trans women themselves have grown accustomed to mocking their own transness to be successful in the thai entertainment industry. this means that the "____ is transphobic" controversies only ever regard international fans, while thai fans don't even bat an eye. it's not my place to say what's wrong or right in those situations, but that's why I feel hesitant to condemn ANY thai person as transphobic when the cultures are so different & sensitivities so opposed. trans rights are under attack everywhere in the west, meanwhile "ladyboys" have existed openly (somewhat safely, I'm sure there's attacks & discrimination on them, but I couldn't find any data about it) for literal centuries in thailand.

NOW THOUGH, I find it quite staggering that you can kind of put most of these thai actors in the same box. drake laedeke for liking (or reposting? I forgot sorry) an anti-trans video, for which he apologized, joss wayar for following andrew tate, who he unfollowed once the backlash against tate peaked, ohm pawat for being a homophobic bully (which some have argued that it's been disproven in my comments but I don't really believe it, it's giving delusional ride or die fan), and lastly foei patchara who reblogged anti-lgbtq far right content & (to my knowledge) never apologized or backed down. all four of these men present themselves as very straight, they all work out & have stereotypically very masculine & attractive bodies, and all of them are successful. I'm not surprised that men who watch fitness content would end up on hustle culture videos, leading to alpha male videos & eventually far right content which is currently obsessing about lgbtq+ people. and I'm not saying this to justify them or whatever, but I think it says a lot about masculinity & the echochambers created around this hypermasculine content which led to these actors clearly doing something wrong.

in the end, I'll say what I always say: everyone can choose to remain fans of actors that have done something wrong, or unfollow them, ignore them, hate them, etc. I do think things need to be taken with nuance, and for me I look at repeated behavior & lack of accountability to try to guess an actor's true nature. I say GUESS because none of us will ever truly know them. maybe there's an actor that has never publicly done anything remotely problematic, yet thinks the most awful things in his head. so yeah, it's up to each individual's judgment to decide what to do with those actors & what they've done wrong, but I do think we have to take cultural differences into account bc the world does not revolve around the west.

xxx

[cozy-mp3]

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[just-some-random-blogger]

meow meow, hottie-cutie! good morning! some love time for the best tumblr writer! 'i understand British accents' omg you're so big brained big sister!! ig i really am a little (ironic isn't it) meow meow next to you. i'm amazed you seem to be really smart, interesting, intelligent, bright and soso lovely-lovely. (and hot yes) i would've liked to be mutuals or friends with you for real ig? no but who are we to each other... you don't really need to answer it if you don't want to. what about british accent, it's more about the speed at which they speak?? i've sent my bestie a voice message with them speaking, turned it on and heard only 'lawlawlaw'... my brain may be big (not as much as yours) but too slow... and like spoilers... i know these TT girl i've been hyperfixated on this show since idk? november? october? tumblr and wiki almost showed me it TT i know the plot pretty good. tbh, i have really mixed feelings about rhaenyra's kids and jace being her heir? bc yes love is love and he's basically still targaryen, i can understand her being a wild girl in need of personal life and freedom. but thinking about the image of targaryens as the royalties, i don't really approve this? but i'm not on the greens' side bc?? i still haven't watched the show what am i talking about TT srry if i said smth stupid. next time i'll try better. 'IMMA BONK THAT LOSER MATT SO HARD FOR MAKING YOU SAD WHY ARE YOU SAD???' omg you sound SO like an elder sister rn TT thank you TT i'm always the one who people wants to bonk their enemies for them bc of my big stature? lol i'm literally all bark and no bite, i always just stand next to my short friend who beats the shit out of everyone like the meme with a small barking dog and a big one who's afraid of the first one. srry i've got distracted. i'm grateful! your words sound really comforting to me. but it's not like smth happened. this situation (like all things i must do but also the need to watch hotd without subtitles and so on) is so... ridiculous. it's killing me. why do i sound so whiny and complaining TT srry ig this's just how i see my life. (no but hotd already made my cry a couple of times) 'that means you want me to be nervous' IM SORRY TT it's good you understood i hadn't meant it. it was late with my brain even slower. wish you strong nerves!! giving them to you with a big kiss on your big brain!! thank you sm for your support, my most comfort person!! hope you can (or already did) forgive you too. 'i’m sure the same could be said about your kitty' ok i'm gonna make it a little sad rn. that very day, after nearly attacking my mom, my cat came back to me to lay on my lap. so now i'm crying and i'm not hot TT my face is pretty ugly rn but my eyes are shiny and it's pretty ig OH YOU KNOW WHAT?? you've reposted 'I, Unfortunately, Love You Most' and i recalled i was that anon too TT maybe even your work inspired me to request 'it takes two' and ask to make it more cruel sidjdpsp i like miserable and desperate daemon. i literally have fucking huge plot abt it in my notes... *winkwink* i've got a lot of thoughts about fics about daemon and some ideas but i feel like you're too busy. and like i need to go to bed... so have a nice day! take care! love you <з

MEEEEEEEEOW

meow meowmoew meow

some love time for the best tumblr writer!

💅💅💅🥺🥺🥺🥺 purr

'i understand British accents' omg you're so big brained big sister!!

bonk 🤠 understanding chavs that go innit is gauge of big brained-ness for you ?? LOL HAHAH

ig i really am a little (ironic isn't it) meow meow next to you. i'm amazed you seem to be really smart, interesting, intelligent, bright and soso lovely-lovely. (and hot yes)

lol but ur taller that me ??? HAHAHH i am pretty smart interesting intelligent bright and soso lovely-lovely AND hot arent i HAHAHAH <3 🥺😍 idk why ur saying this suddenly but <3 im honored for the high regard lovie

i would've liked to be mutuals or friends with you for real ig? no but who are we to each other... you don't really need to answer it if you don't want to.

WE CAN BE MUTUALS! and friends (aren't we already 💔)

what about british accent, it's more about the speed at which they speak?? i've sent my bestie a voice message with them speaking, turned it on and heard only 'lawlawlaw'...

that happens. sometimes idk what my sister is saying and we speak the same languages HHHHAHAH also we speak to each other in english accents cos its fun innit

my brain may be big (not as much as yours) but too slow... and like spoilers... i know these TT girl i've been hyperfixated on this show since idk? november? october? tumblr and wiki almost showed me it TT i know the plot pretty good.

HAHAHHAH MALAY KO BA (Filipino for how would i know ig lsdfaashf it's hard to translate) yeah same i knew what was gonna happen in the show because i think i started watching the show was already like on its 7th or 8th episode i didnt feel the need to skip through spoilers tbh though sometimes i did like its fine. also big brains arent meant to be compared 😡

tbh, i have really mixed feelings about rhaenyra's kids and jace being her heir? bc yes love is love and he's basically still targaryen, i can understand her being a wild girl in need of personal life and freedom. but thinking about the image of targaryens as the royalties, i don't really approve this? but i'm not on the greens' side bc?? i still haven't watched the show what am i talking about TT srry if i said smth stupid. next time i'll try better.

first of all you didnt say anything stupid. second of all, i agree, i too have mixed feelings towards rhaenyra in general lol. i mean they're all problematic, third of all. fourth of all, they all need extensive therapy and the rod of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. fifth of all, AHAHAHHA 'love is love' goo off queen but also DAMN 3 times HAHAdiaslgfasfasfhlasfhas i get why alicent is so pissed T_T sixth of all, i also dont approve of it, lol but im glad rhaenyra has her papa on her side. seventh of all, viserys problematic af too. eighth of all, im not on black/green side either, though since rhaenyra is mostly the protagonist of the story, people are more inclined to support her because that was how she was presented. again. they all problematic af AHAHAHAH

'IMMA BONK THAT LOSER MATT SO HARD FOR MAKING YOU SAD WHY ARE YOU SAD???' omg you sound SO like an elder sister rn TT thank you TT i'm always the one who people wants to bonk their enemies for them bc of my big stature? lol i'm literally all bark and no bite, i always just stand next to my short friend who beats the shit out of everyone like the meme with a small barking dog and a big one who's afraid of the first one.

lol HAHAH idk if its me being an elder sister or just me being intense. mayhap a bit of both. i will fight anyone for people i love. idc if theyre taller than me. people that are taller than me inspire my rage even more because ??? you think your safe just cause youre head dangling up in the ceiling ??? i think not. buttttt tbh irl im a pacifist AHHAHAH fr im usually the mediator i just talk a lot of smack, but when it comes to it, i usually resolve things peacefully.

im wonho in the end 'i dont smash i want peace

you and i are the same then, all bark no bite (just a nibble i think AHHAHA)

srry i've got distracted. i'm grateful! your words sound really comforting to me. but it's not like smth happened. this situation (like all things i must do but also the need to watch hotd without subtitles and so on) is so... ridiculous. it's killing me. why do i sound so whiny and complaining TT srry ig this's just how i see my life. (no but hotd already made my cry a couple of times)

im glad i can be a comfort to you my love. its ok to feel frustrated over things that frustrate you. its better sometimes to ride it out so that you let go of the feeling more wholly. as someone who watches a bunch of foreign films/shows, i understand the frustration of finding content without subtitles you can read so its ok. idk if i cried over hotd but i did very much feel disturbed many times over

'that means you want me to be nervous' IM SORRY TT it's good you understood i hadn't meant it. it was late with my brain even slower. wish you strong nerves!! giving them to you with a big kiss on your big brain!! thank you sm for your support, my most comfort person!! hope you can (or already did) forgive you too.

'i’m sure the same could be said about your kitty' ok i'm gonna make it a little sad rn. that very day, after nearly attacking my mom, my cat came back to me to lay on my lap. so now i'm crying and i'm not hot TT my face is pretty ugly rn but my eyes are shiny and it's pretty ig

T_T MY LOVE T_T IDK WHAT TO SAY ITS GREAT THAT YOUR CATE CAME BACK BUT ALSO REALLY SAD its ok to cry if ur sad but dont let yourself be sad all the time. i kiss my pretty darling

OH YOU KNOW WHAT?? you've reposted 'I, Unfortunately, Love You Most' and i recalled i was that anon too TT maybe even your work inspired me to request 'it takes two' and ask to make it more cruel sidjdpsp i like miserable and desperate daemon.

DANG THAT WAS YOU TOO you really are my #0 fan AHHAAAHHA tbh i love cruel fics but sometimes i dont think i write it well enough lol

i literally have fucking huge plot abt it in my notes... *winkwink* i've got a lot of thoughts about fics about daemon and some ideas but i feel like you're too busy. and like i need to go to bed... so have a nice day! take care! love you <з

you can always send me your thoughts if you want to. it's really just that i get back to them a little late because of how famous i am 😎 lol but in all seriousness, im so honored so many people like my writing enough to req things from me so yeah im luv u all<3

xxx

[wave2tyun]

oooh! im glad u were able to have fun with those courses in the end!! AND NO BC WHAT YOU SAID ABT HAVING TO DEAL WITH SCHEDULES FASDFASD honestly!!! as an introvert when i go out w friends/someone i get so drained!! when i get home i barely have the energy to change clothes... idk how idols do it either!! though maybe im just crazy.. i have to take a whole day to recover before i go out again or else i feel physically sick pfff also!! thats exciting to hear that youre planning on writing something vday related!! sdfdsfg i cant wait to see and on another note i saw u were suggesting soobin enemies to lovers and the thought of you writing for soobin has me running laps around my room!! as a proud soobrangdan i cannot wait to see what you make if u decide to write for him afasdffg *bats eyelashes* i will be the first one to read fr 🤭🤭🤭 -🐰

I GET YOUUUUUUU OMGG I REALLY DO!!!!😭😭😭😭😭😭 i'm also an introvert and if i have two consecutive plans like one day after another i feel stressed out and tired just by thinking about it!!!😵‍💫 and don't get me wrong i do love going out with the people that i love adbhjsa but sometimes i feel like i really need a certain amount of alone time to get my energy and uhhh social skills back up😭😭 i think this may be part of the reason why i'm not the biggest fan of spontaneous plans dabhjsa i used to think that maybe there's something wrong with me for being this way but as i grew up i learned to accept it, hearing that other people experience this also puts me more at ease. even if i force myself to go out more i just. won't feel good. people just live differently so do whatever feels good for you!!!!

hehe thank youuuu!!! :DD💓💞💘💖💓💘💞 i'm a bit busy today so i hope i'll be able to finish it by tomorrow night, i want it to be good so i apologise if it's not ready exactly on valentine's day😞😞 it's gonna be a one-shot and as of right now it's over 1.5k words!! at first i was struggling a bit with deciding what exactly i want to do with the plot, but now i'm quite happy with what i managed to come up with :DD when you read it pleaseee do let me know your thoughts about it, i'd so love to hear it!! :((((<33 and also, i do have a few more soobin fics that i've written before, so your soobrangdan heart WILL be fed well!!👀👀 i just haven't gotten round to reposting them just yet😔

[chiruba]

JJK BOYS' FEELING INSECURE ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP !

an. i spent my time playing a roblox aot game instead of doing hw today

ft. itadori, fushiguro, gojo, nanami, inumaki, junpei x gn!reader

wc. 0.8k

genre. angst

tw. mentions of death, insecurities, toxic relationships + minor manga spoilers for gojo's

► MASTERLIST ► TAGLIST ►

ITADORI YUJI — "people really die." that was one of the lessons itadori's grandfather left him with. it's a thought that only amplifies each time he grows stronger as a jujutsu sorcerer, each time he goes on harder missions that result in even more death. and then it clicks in him, if he's becoming a stronger sorcerer, why does he see more people die each time? the minute you get even a scratch on you, he nearly breaks down. in his mind all he can see is your face blending into the masses of mangled bodies. itadori begins pushing you away, going on missions without telling you, even training with anyone else but you. everyone notices. everyone tells him how he's destroying his own relationship, and he knows. but he'd rather rip your heart to shreds than watch you die.

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI — fushiguro knows his stotic and cold exterior can push people away, but you had always told him it didn't matter. that you knew who he really was behind it all. so why do you look so hurt right now? you had to know he didn't mean it. you told him you knew. fushiguro doesn't even try to apologise, why would he? he didn't mean it. it's not his fault. it's not his fault you told him it'd be okay. it's not his fault you fell in love with him despite it all. fushiguro can't bear to admit that he's hurt you just like he knew he always would, and so he blames it all on you instead. shielding his heart like he'd always done was so much easier. he loves easier.

GOJO SATORU — you'll never be geto. gojo sees geto as his one and only, a title you'll never receive, not from him. you know it, and he does too. so why are you still with him? it's a thought that only comes to him when he's completely isolated, his head crystal clear. each time he thinks about it, it makes him curl up on himself, going back to the feeling of no one truly understanding him in this cruel world, no one but geto. but how can that be? why can't he just accept your love and give you the same love back? deep down he knows the answer to that too. it's a quote he says often - "jujutsu sorcerers are insane." - gojo knows he fits into that category too, knows he's too messed up to truly love and be loved. thoughts like these make him feel weak, gojo hates feeling weak. and now he hates you.

NANAMI KENTO — nanami isn't one to typically doubt himself, but he often wonders if he does enough for you. he knows he's not the best with his feelings or words, but he tries his best. you do know that, don't you? you're not particularly nanami's first relationship, but you are the first person he's ever felt this way for, ever truly loved. he doesn't know what to do with these feelings for you, or how to properly convey them. nanami won't ever ask for reassurance however, and he's so good at controlling his emotions you'll never even realise he needs it. he's only human, and he's not all to surprised when he succombs to his emotions and insecurities, breaking your heart. you're left utterly confused, drowning in your tears as you try to figure out where your seemingly perfect relationship went wrong.

INUMAKI TOGE — all inumaki ever wanted when he was younger was to be 'normal'. now that he's older, he knows how to push away these thoughts, knows how to calm himself down before his insecurities eat him up. and then he begins dating you. inumaki doesn't understand it, doesn't understand how you can understand his onigiri language so perfectly, doesn't understand how you can deal with his pranks and clingy affections, doesn't understand why you ever fell in love with a boy who can't even tell you he loves you too. inumaki clings to you even more, gets more insecure each time he sees you with someone 'better'. he doesn't even realise how controlling and suffocating he's become until he goes to hold you close once more, and all his arms close around is air.

YOSHINO JUNPEI — it takes junpei a while to understand that you do love him, but he'll never understand why. he's the quiet nerdy kid that nobody even takes a second glance at. the perfect victim for school bullies with nothing better to do. that's what junpei's seen himself as all his life. what does he have to offer you? he can't give you the same bright eyed smiles you give him, the same affectionate kisses on his bruises that make everything seem okay. its days like these that junpei begins to close in on himself again, begins to see the kindness in your eyes as pity and doubt all your affections once more. but junpei can't bring himself to push you away, can't help the selfish part of him that wants you to stay even if this is all an act. and so, junpei holds you close instead, patiently waiting for the day you decide to give up this pity act.

ill give u a kiss goodnight if u reblog <3 

©  2021 sinrinyoku — please do not repost, translate, modify or plagiarize my work! i will beat the shit out of u (maybe)

[janiedean]

I feel bad for all the nice J*nsa shippers who like their ship for whatever reasons (tropes, pretty art, aesthetic appeal, whatever) and know it's not canon but get associated with the misogynistic Dany hating crowd who act like Jon being attracted to Ygritte is J*nsa foreshadowing because red hair (I guess Jon should fuck Edmure Tully too? Omg give me Dark!Jon getting revenge on Catelyn by seducing her brother!) Tell me something. I'm new to the fandom but was J*nsa popular before the show? And I've heard something about the OG J*nsa shippers being alienated by the new shippers who insisted it had to be canon and acted like the series is called, "A song of J*nsa #danysux." I don't find that hard to believe because I know people who are now ashamed of calling themselves J*nsa shippers. Like, at this point, it's not only rival shippers who hate it. Even Gendrya/Braime/Jon stans/etc have started disliking that ship. You know your fandom is a problem when people who have nothing to do with Jnsa have a problem with it.

me: reads this ask

me: iwastheregandalf.gif which I can't find now but

okay anon buckle up because I am sadly well-equipped to answer this ask but before I do lemme tell you dark jon seducing edmure to take revenge on cat is LITERALLY THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD but *clears throat* ALL RIGHT THEN.

disclaimer: as anon says I have no issue with like the shippers mentioned by anon in the beginning and ngl I agree, I have ABSOLUTELY ZERO FUCKING STAKES in the j*nsa vs j*nerys war and the only het jon ship I gaf about is jon/ygritte and we all know where that ended up I just... have been here since 2011/adwd was over and all the fic around was just for the books under secret lj communities and asoiaf qualified for yuletide and I have... seen... things.... and I actually have like uh had... beef... with some people in there and I know things bc ppl who hated those others told me stuff so anyway *sigh* buckle up anon I'mma tell you the story of jon shipwars through the years

in order, the old gods help me here, under the cut bc this is long as fuck

when I got into fandom also given what numbers were on ao3 one ship was popular and it was sansan. no like sansan was lit. the only asoiaf ship on ao3 with more than 200 fics. jb had twenty when i checked first. jc had like around 100-ish because of the show but sansan dwarfed anything. I posted the first jon/ygritte fic on the ao3 tag and the fourth throbb fic and like the others were all reposts from lj kinkmemes. nothing was popular before the show except for sansan when it comes to huge numbers bc grrm doesn't like fic and it was all hush hush until the show made it impossible to control and that ship was the one with a huge enough fanbase it actually had numbers, so like... j*nsa wasn't popular in the way nothing else was popular until it got screentime on the show

now, that stated, j*nsa had a... fair amount of fic for a rareship which was mostly book-based and from og shippers that were there from before the show and liked it for what it was but literally none of them thought it was gonna be canon, like it wasn't huge or anything but it had a small but dedicated fanbase who did their own thing and thought it was fun/liked the idea but that was it

that fandom had their own niche of hcs that they cultivated and shit except that like... at the end of S5/beginning of S6 there was a surge in shipping for... well obvious reasons bc it was obv sansa was getting to the wall and that would have been all nice and good but a) it was the time puritanical shipping was starting to take root and the 'shipping sansa with sandor or tyrion is hella problematic' rhetoric had started to circle coming from sans*ery shippers mostly but I'mma not open that fucking can of worms here, b) while the ending of S5 had more of a theon/sansa spike, the j*nsa stuff started getting big

now here we have to mention my villain origin story ie: j*nsa fandom had this one stan whose name I won't make because honestly it's been years and if she's still around I don't want her to remember I exist who was a bnf, wrote for... the website that created the whole larry/carol thing etc who was really fixed on this thing that j*nsa was actually canon and started writing extremely popular meta about it. now you're gonna ask how do you know, I know because this person once wrote a meta named 'why robb stark is a dick' and I told her that it was really fucking bad meta and she took it so badly she kept on trash talking me on her blog/her podcast (I was apparently the insane robb stark fangirl l m a o good lord) and like that was when some sane ppl who argued with her informed me in pvt that she was basically harping on the CANON thing when they'd have been okay with like... it being crackshipping and that she was basically cultivating a hoarde of followers who were harping on them/the ogs and basically ostracizing them;

I would like to add that this person - before her tumblr got 'accidentally deleted' and remade it therefore deleted most receipts for, er, her so-called meta which included stuff like ned and cat raised sansa as a sexual object and only wanted to sell her like cattle - had at some point started a round robin fic thing where... some of the characters mocked openly said stuff that some of the og fans had said specifically targeting them and people in that side basically went harassing anyone who didn't agree with that specific notion

now never mind that this person basically coined an entire term to describe ppl who liked white guys and excused all their wrongdoings out of my conversation re robb basically lying about everything I said as if I didn't have the receipts and tried to sell shirts with it and it didn't work and like then she got kicked out of her own website because she was telling her commenters disagreeing pretty shitty insults (considering I was called psychotic for disagreeing with her that time I don't doubt it) I think at some point she stepped back from fandom bc idk wtf she's up to these days and I don't want to, but basically at that point the dam was broken and there was a bunch of puritanical shippers harping on anyone who didn't agree with j*nsa is canon endgame stuff

this also includes an incident when those ppl were like... passing themselves as throbb shippers and ended up trying to tell t*hramsay shippers off the theon tag based on moral reasons and I ended up arguing with all of them (and they were all from that crowd) which in turn landed me in contact with other og j*nsa shippers who were like detached from that fandom bc those same people harassed them away as well ssooooo fun

anyway when S6 happened everyone was high on it and whatnot but I wasn't gonna begrudge them that I mean... you shipped it for years, canon is delivering you, good for you, but then j*nerys happened

god j*nerys happened

aaand basically...... I mean personally I was there like are y'all seriously arguing about the best incest jon ship out there but like basically the j*nsa endgame side was like AH JON IS PLAYING DANY SEE IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN, the j*nerys obv got defensive af and both sides were sort of alternatively shitting on jon/ygritte anyway and depicting any other romantic rship jon could have as abusive™ and during S8 it just got worse and like I tried to stay out of it but basically from what I'm seeing now idk how the j*neryses are doing but on the j*nsa one it's ah jon's gonna play dany anyway and she's going to go insane like in the show so SHOW TRUTHING EVERY OTHER WAY and like again denying that sandor exists or that tyrion exists and like I barely touch my corner (sansan) but I ended up arguing with j*nsa/th*nsa people on twitter who were antis and is2g it was white-hair inducing and I know for sure the sansa/tyrion shippers were harassed to hell and back throughout so FUN

and even if the show didn't go there now since everyone there banked on the jnsa endgame thing and admitting you're wrong is like... not a thing, they still haven't let go of it and attach to that ship any shred of evidence which honestly is grasping at straws half of the time (like... the sansa/alysanne parallels like guys please no) and which is why every other ship is starting to get fed up, attaching canon proof of stuff from other ships onto theirs see that batb argument and jb is platonic but jonsa is not nvm taking all the sansan stuff and throwing it on j*nsa but then denying that sansan has canon evidence (like guys I had to read sansa touching his shoulder when saying gregor wasn't a true knight wasn't meaningful and we were seeing things please) and blah blah blah

this also goes hand in hand with the fixation on like... villanizing dany at all costs and like is2g I have zero investment in dany or her storyline I don't even remember it and I don't particularly care abt her either way and sure af I'm not for j*nerys endgame but like.... some stuff I read is completely excessive esp when fixing on how she's a completely mad tyrant who's gonna have to be put down and like... guys no

(also there's some srs stannis hate in that corner which I honestly don't get why they even care abt stannis but I had to read stuff like ppl don't recognize that dany and stannis are the real villains in this saga and like........ idek)

I think most of the og shippers are gone or don't ship it openly bc they don't want to be attached to the drama but like I also think they're pissing off everyone else bc like... I mean a bunch of them also were down with sansa being paired with other ppl as long as it meant a good ending for her except those ppl were... like everyone but the ppl she has actual contact with in canon which meant that at some point sansa/gendry was a thing and like.... you can imagine why arya/gendry shippers & arya stans were fed up, and there's also this tendency to behave like sansa is the center of the entire saga which like these books is named a song of jon snow basically can we pls make peace with it and personally I've had it with both j*nsa and j*nerys people since they started with that dumbass JON/YGRITTE WAS AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP rhetoric but I'm also fed up with the total ignoring that sandor exists/depicting us as delusional and honestly I also was by proxy fed up from the harassing of the sansa/tyrion shippers soooooooooooo

there were also instances of 'well theon is an acceptable choice other than jon bc he can't threaten her' which... i mean we all know what that meant and I'm not even commenting it bc it's one AM and I have no force to but I don't have to explain why it's not a progressive take now do I

there were also metas about how cousin incest being legal in half of the world means that jondany is a worse incest and j*nsa doesn't count as such and I was basically there like guys please just fucking own up to it but honestly I chose to forgot where I read that and I couldn't find the link if I tried

tldr: no one wants to admit that it's not gonna be endgame which considering the amount of fic they have on ao3 is imvho useless bc they have more content than like.. anything I ship that's not jb or that's actually like canon *cries in joncon/rhaegar but I mean renly/loras is canon and has less fic than them* so idk what's the problem with enjoying that instead of insisting it's gonna be canon when not even the show validated it while show truthing anyway when the only show truthing that can be truthed is the small council made of minorities and possibly jon eventually fucking off with the wildlings but not like that but like most people who thought it wasn't gonna be endgame had left/were made to leave by the time S7 rolled by and at this point since wow isn't out yet everyone is fandom-grasping at straws to find stuff to discourse on and we're here beating dead horses *shrug*

so that's... how it is but I would again like to point out that I don't judge ppl on their shipping, I don't particularly care about this entire feud bc I only ship jon with ppl he's not related to in whichever way and I try to stay out of this mess bc I don't really care to argue with ppl who have already decided to bend canon to whatever they want and will have to realize that it's not what grrm wrote at some point but like I have a very good memory and the above rant is as objective as possible also bc again I don't literally have a stake in that race I just think romantic/endgame j*nsa is not a thing and that ppl should stay in their lane and not harping on other ppl who ship whatever in general but especially when their ship is the most popular thing in fandom in the first place /two cents

[theharellan]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm. tagged by: stolen from @dansiere tagging: @ghiassan, @deathsreflection, @altuspavus, @windrunnerrs (velanna), @hopewrought, @willbeshot, @seahaloed (iron bull), @asterfed​ (noctis), @ anyone who wants to steal it! also multis feel free to choose a different character

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated (i’m open to roleplaying with non-dragon age characters, and have AUs for other fandoms)

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. solas is both wildly popular and wildly hated. he’s been more consistently popular than the controversial women in the series, like sera or vivienne, who have only recently begun to get to the point where their tags are less vitriolic (although i’m sure it’s still out there), but there’s still a sizable hatedom that can’t have his name breathed in their vicinity w/o them talking abt how much they hate him. even if you’re currently cosplaying him!

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. again, you have ppl who are super into him and ppl who think he’s ugly. my personal opinion is that i think he’s weirdly pretty, and wish ppl would commit more to his unconventional features rather than try to chisel him into sb more traditionally attractive and that ppl who don’t find him attractive would maybe chill w/ calling him ugly. find him unattractive by all means, but lets embrace the fact that inquisition let their love interests have skin flaws etc and accept that some won’t be our cups of tea.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. its hard to deny at this point tbh.

Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK. frustrating as the hate in the tags he has enough fans that i couldnt say he’s underrated w/ a straight face.

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO. he’s the reason the game starts with a bang and not the inevitable dissolution of the conclave b/c the sides are disparate.

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. regardless of solas’ relationship with the inquisitor, there are parallels and contrasts in their stories and he also is the reason they survive inquisition.

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. fen’harel is well-known and revered, if feared, among the dalish, yet at the same time he’s not remembered for a lot besides locking the gods away-- and the context of that decision has also been lost. as solas he’s relatively unknown until inquisition and especially trespasser.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. again, polarising!! he has loyal agents and people are willing to speak well of him despite everything, including his enemies sometimes (depending mostly on the inquisitor). 

How strictly do you follow canon?  — generally i try to have a canon basis for my interpretation, even if i interpret the text differently than the author.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  solas is an immortal who is simultaneously jaded and very much invested in the small moments of life. far from being weary of the day-to-day lives of ordinary people, it is systems and orders he is most tired of. he walks an interesting line that feels far less misanthropic than other immortal characters i’ve experienced, yet still he’s quite cynical. as a character who has fought against religious based tyranny before, but in a completely different era, he is in a unique position where what he sees around him is both horrifyingly familiar and yet completely new. it allows an exploration of the wrongs of thedas’ society from an outsider’s perspective. his motivations are complex and multifaceted, often condemnable and yet also understandable. his character arc in inquisition (if befriended, or regardless in the case of my solas) takes him from a dispassionate, disconnected antagonist to someone deeply invested in the people of thedas, deeply conflicted and actively hoping he will be proven wrong again. i think his story is a testament to human (or elven, or dwarven, or-) connection and how even when we resist we can’t resist creating bonds with the people in our lives. i personally see this bond going beyond the inquisitor hence why i play low-approval solas as conflicted as high-approval, if not when it comes to the inquisitor.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  solas is selfish and motivated solely by revenge, he’s clinging to a past that clearly no longer exists, if you ignore all the people from it who are still alive. he’s totally unaware of all his flaws and never owns up to any mistakes ever. no, i haven’t listened to a single word solas has said in my life why do you ask. he’s also critical of my faves which means he’s #cancelled, there is clearly no validity to what he’s saying. ksjdf no but in all seriousness i think a lot of reasons ppl don’t find solas interesting are just... weird readings of his character that sometimes have no basis in the text of inquisition, but also there are plenty of perfectly valid reasons to not find him interesting. usually those ppl don’t like... talk abt how much they don’t find him interesting constantly tho. they just chill and aren’t invested in this particular villain. for one thing i think the game missed out on opportunities for exploring how someone who may not have even had a body at the beginning of his existence would feel about gender and sexuality, so making him presumably straight and cis was a boring choice. i also think that the dragon age games being very protagonist-centric hurts solas’ character, there’s no real reason why the inquisitor is the only one who can throw his plans into question but making the player the center of the universe means he’s not allowed to change due to the effects of other companions or NPCs. thank god this is rp and i do what i want.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  i have a history degree so when the inquisition companions were being teased, solas describing bias in primary sources from the memories he’s seen got me interested in him. but my first playthrough i didn’t actually take him with me all too often, i think my main party was dorian-blackwall-varric. i liked him, and i think he or dorian were my first friends in skyhold, but my initial interest was in other characters. between his dialogue that appealed to the historian in me tho and how his spirit opinions sort of turned everything i’d felt about spirits in the last two games on its head, i started vibing with him more the farther i went in. like merrill set me up for the “spirits are people” thing and solas hit it out of the park. then temple of mythal happened, and i did bring solas with me there. i found his dialogue fascinating and also suspicious, i’d just finished masked empire like the day before da:i came out so i definitely thought solas was an ancient elf in the same vein as felassan. it was after temple of mythal that i actually decided to make his blog, although like as one idk linchpin to cement my status as solas trash... i was hit BAD by the banter bug on my first playthrough, probably got like a dozen banters total. but then at some point late in the game i took solas to the forbidden oasis and he wouldn’t stop talking to people, and i really loved his banter with the rest of my party at the time.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  replaying inquisition, new DA content when the bioware gods deign to grant us a lifeline, but the biggest thing is my rp partners. i wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for the people i write with, new and old. my activity of late hasn’t been the best, work and the summer heat has really been sapping me of energy, and does even during years when we aren’t going through a pandemic. but it’s the thought of my rp partners and love of solas that keeps me coming back.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? i have my doubts sometimes, but i think i do ok.

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / SORT OF? there is no headcanon too small for me.

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO. but not lately * gestures to the low activity * i’ve been in this cycle where i get anxious abt late replies, so prioritise them, then burn myself out and can’t write the fics i want. i’ve had two i’ve been DYING to write tho i just... need to find the space in my brain to let myself.

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO. i mean it depends on the day. if i work closing shifts at my store it gets very quiet and boring around 8:30 so i spent the next 90 minutes thinking about character stuff.

Are you confident in your portrayal?  YES / NO / SORT OF? 

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. 

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO / SORTA.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  i’m going to say ‘no’ because like, i don’t ask for criticism. this is a hobby based on my interpretation of a character, if you think i write solas too soft then you’re welcome to think that, but i’m happy with the balance i’ve struck with his internal versus external behaviour and how he changes based upon who he’s speaking to. if you think i’m erasing straight people by making solas pan then ksjdfs. ok.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  yes!!! even if they retread ground already trodden, a) my interpretation may have adjusted since the last time i played or b) a reminder is nice. if it’s new stuff then it’s fun to think about.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  it’d depend on why they disagree. if they just disagree on a subjective opinion about what i took from a certain line, then they’re welcome to their opinion but i don’t necessarily care to hear it. if it is unintentionally hurtful then i would like to know. although rather than a comment i’d rather a non-anonymous message.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  same as the above.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  if they’re vocal about it i typically just unfollow / softblock if i was following in the first place. people can feel how they want about solas, but i’ve found over the years that if people really hate solas ooc it can often bleed into their ic interactions. it’s really weird seeing your character being brought up repeatedly in threads with others specifically to dunk on, for no reason other than i guess solas is living rent free in their heads, so at least we have that in common. but anyway unfollowing is just the best choice to avoid getting kinda pressed if i’m having a bad day.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  roleplay is the wild west of writing, so i think it’d depend on what the error was. coming at me like “you shouldn’t start a sentence with a preposition” would get a laugh, but i don’t edit my replies much if at all and mistakes will 100% happen. pointing out typos is chill so long as you do it politely.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  it depends! i’ve learned that being too easy going actually just means i’m subjecting myself to negative emotions to please people. so i’ve gotten less easy going as the years go by. how does one define “easy going” anyway? does asking that question mean i am objectively not easy going? the longer this thought goes on the more the answer seems to be “probably not,” but i like to think it could be a lot worse.

[justauthoring]

Content // Gilbert Blythe (4/4)

Original Prompt: idk if you’ll like this but ive been thinking abt it so,, anne and the reader were best friends at the orphanage and when the Cuthberts accept anne, all she talks abt is the reader and how she misses them so they’re like what the heck and adopt the reader too. so eventually the reader meets anne’s friends and they’re all besties. then the reader meets gilbert and they have an eventual relationship. it’s a lot sorry!! ily and your writing!💞

THIS IS A MINI-SERIES: one - two - three - final

Please don’t plagiarize my work - I spend a lot of my time writing, copying and pasting destroys that. If you want to repost my work. please ask first - but even then I might say no.

Word Count: 3,911

Tag List: @wyattgoleft - @xanatheisticblur - @stranger-marvel - @drabby-abby - @chaotictozier - @theedogmother - @angsty-otters-blog - @shirley-cuthbert-blythe - @fandomnerdsarecool Like to be added to the TagList? Message me letting me know!

-

Months passed. 

As time went on, the pain lessened. You were able to distract yourself with other things. Of course, the agony had burned deep in your chest at first. Your mind had constantly been filled with thoughts of Gilbert, and you found it hard to focus on anything but him and how hurt you were that he’d left without a single word.

During the time, Green Gables had been saved by taking in boarders. Anne had even mentioned something about seeing Gilbert when her and Jerry had gone into town to sell off some valuables. She’d mentioned that he’d asked about you, but you’d brushed her off. You hadn’t been ready to talk about Gilbert at that time, and truthfully you still weren’t.

The rumour of gold being in Avonlea had come and gone. During the time of the rumour, Anne had tried to convince you to send a letter to Gilbert. She professed that if there really was gold in Avonlea, he had every right to know. And while she was right, Gilbert did have every right to know, you didn’t want to be the one to tell him.

You couldn’t quite explain it. But there was just so much burning rage that constantly filtered through you when someone brought up his name, that you couldn’t even stand to utter it yourself.

He’d left you. Just like that. Without a word, or even a simple letter. The last words Gilbert had ever said to you was “i’ll see you tomorrow”. And then, you never had.

You didn’t want to talk to him. You’d rather wallow in your self pity and anger.

Gilbert’s disappearance hadn’t been all bad too. You grew exceptionally closer with Diana and Ruby, and you and Anne had rekindled your friendship. After a long talk about what had gone wrong, and about how both of you felt during the time of your argument, you both agreed that you’d both been in the wrong. Anne had ignored you for Diana and Ruby, and thus, you’d ignored her for Gilbert. It’d been a miscommunication on both of your parts.

Now, the two of you were as close as ever. It was just like it’d been back in the orphanage - attached at the hip.

You walked to school together, sat in class together and then the two of you would spend some time with Diana, sometimes Ruby and your new friend Cole. 

Anne ended up sending that letter to Gilbert. Not that you cared. 

It ended up being useless anyways in the end. It had all been a trick, and your boarders had come up with the story to earn some cash. Which, unfortunately, they had.

Anyways, time had passed. Gilbert, though never leaving your mind, wasn’t your full concern anymore. You pushed him to the very back and deepest depths of your mind and focused on your family, friends and school. You were constantly thinking about what you wanted to be when you were older and if you wanted to go to college or not.

Though, you never forgot about, nor would you ever forget about Gilbert... you moved on with your life.

“It isn’t that bad.”

“I look mortifying.”

“Honestly,” you sighed, rolling your eyes. “You look fine, Anne. The short hair suits you.”

With her hand on top of her hat, to prevent you from pulling the hat off yourself, Anne scoffed at your words. “I look ridiculous,” she sighed, lips curled downwards in a deep frown. “If no boy wanted to kiss me before, they definitely don’t now.”

You couldn’t help but sigh again. You were tired of hearing Anne talk so ill of herself. None of what she said was true. “You’re beautiful, Anne. Even now,” you whispered, tone sincere. “And don’t even try to argue with me. I’m always right.”

Anne chuckled, shaking your head. “While I appreciate the comment, I am inclined to disagree.”

“What did I say about arguing?”

“Not to do it?”

“Exactly.”

“Nonetheless,” Anne continued, letting her hand fall by her side. “There’s Diana.”

You followed the point of her finger, a small smile falling on your lips when you saw Diana waiting for the both of you by the front of the school house. She seemed somewhat nervous, and you figured it had to do with the fact that she’d yet to see what Anne’s hair looks like. 

“Come on then,” you announced, tilting your head ever so slightly when the two of you grouped with Anne. “Let’s go on in.”

The two girls followed you, none of those inside the school batting either of you an eyelash as Anne immediately ran to the confines of the coat hooks. She gripped onto her hat tightly as both you and Diana came to a stand before her. 

“Surely it can’t be that bad,” Diana spoke, voice soft.

“I’m a monstrosity, Diana,” Anne exclaimed, and you huffed, shoulders dropping. “in fact, you best forget me now and forever. You too, Y/N. I’d never, ever want to bring this humiliation upon you both too.”

“Oh, hush up,” you snapped, reaching forward. You caught Anne off guard, managing to snag her hat off her head before she could stop you. Both Diana and Anne both gasped in response. Anne in indignation towards you, and Diana in surprise at Anne’s hair.

“See?” You quirked a brow, leaning forward to hang Anne’s hat on her coat hook. “You look fine.”

Anne shook her head, fiddling with her fingers nervously as Diana sighed. Reaching back, she pulled the blue tie around her half-pony tail, letting it come undone. “I made a promise to never forsake thee,” she smiled, wrapping the ribbon around Anne’s head and tying it at the top. “Besides... it’s only hair. It’ll grow back soon.”

“That’s what I said.” 

With a nervous smile, Anne shook her head lightly. “Not nearly soon enough.”

In the next second, you found yourself walking through the crowd of students. Something seemed to have caught their attention, and Diana walked through ahead, creating a small path for both you and Anne. Anne held onto your hand tightly, squeezing tightly as you pushed your way through the crowd. And as walked, with your head dipped down, you never caught word of what was being said around you.

Or who it was being said about.

You continued to walk, until you seemed to notice that someone had stepped up to you. And slowly, you looked up from your feet.

Nothing could’ve prepared you for who you saw.

Your hand slipped from Anne’s hand, falling by your side as your lips parted and your eyes widened.

“Y/N...”

“Gilbert...” His name left your lips in a barely audible whisper. You lips moved more than actually saying anything, and for a long while, you found yourself rooted at that spot, unable to move.

Never had you thought that you’d see Gilbert again.

Surely, you should’ve known it was a possibility. There was no guarantee that Gilbert would never come back to Avonlea, especially with his dad’s farm. Not to mention the letter Anne had sent him. But you figured, in your rage induced mind, you hadn’t thought it would actually happen.

Yet, here he was. Gilbert Blythe was standing directly before you with a small little smile on his lips.

The entire crowd of students was looking at the two of you. Part of you realized that you’d managed to get the attention taken off of Anne, but you hadn’t wanted it to be on you, either.

You almost wanted to turn and run when Gilbert took a step towards you, practically closing the little bit of distance that had existed between the two of you. The sudden urge to cry right there and then ate you up, and you felt your eyes water as you desperately tried to fight back the urge.

You didn’t know if you were angry or relieved to see Gilbert.

“It’s uh,” Gilbert stammered, trying to find the words. “It’s really good to see you, Y/N.”

You didn’t say anything. An entire moment of silence passed as you stood there. Your eyes glanced around all those staring back at you until they landed on Gilbert once again.

And then you turned and ran.

You didn’t stop. You ignored Gilbert, who called your name, and Anne and Diana who followed you out to the steps as you continued running. You didn’t even know where you were going, you just let your feet lead you wherever they needed to go.

You eventually ended up in the little fort Anne had created. 

The moment you reached there, you halted, your chest rising and falling. You looked all around yourself, trying to understand what you were feeling. You’d never felt this way before, and you didn’t know how to explain it. It felt like something was crawling up the back of your throat, and you just wanted to scream.

Screw him. Screw that jerk for coming back and acting as if he hadn’t just left you for dust. Like he hadn’t broken your heart.

The tears came streaming down your cheeks before you could stop yourself. And for a long while, you didn’t move. You just stood there, sobs leaving your lips, your lips trembling in response as you rocked on the spot. Your entire body shook, both from the cold and because of your tears, but you didn’t care.

You didn’t care that you’d left school early, either. Actually, it felt good to be alone for once.

Everything hurt, sure. But it felt like you could actually think. As you stood there, you tried to understand why you were so angry. At Gilbert, specifically. Why seeing him there, in that classroom, had hurt and angered you so much all at once.

But you already knew the answer, and you’d said it that day way back when he’d first left.

You loved him. And it hurt to know that the boy you’d fallen in love with didn’t seem to care about you as much as you did. If Gilbert had, he wouldn’t have left you without a single word. Through person or letter.

And the worst part was, you still loved him. Even after all these months.

-

Marilla had lectured you long and hard after that day. But when you fell into her skirt, clutching onto her legs, crying, her harsh words seemed to fall dead on the tip of her tongue.

Time passed once again. You returned to school the next day, and promptly ignored Gilbert when he tried to talk to you. He continued to try and talk to you for the rest of the day and the days to come after that, but you never gave him the time of the day.

Anne wondered if you were taking it too far, that maybe it was time to forgive him, but you didn’t think so. So, you didn’t change anything.

And it ended up working for you. Eventually, Gilbert gave up trying to talk to you, but he never stopped staring at you longingly from afar. You were fully aware of his staring, since you could feel it on your back during class. But you ignored it. Pushed it to the back of your mind.

Your silent treatment had worked, at least, until Marilla had decided to invite Gilbert and his new friend, Bash, over for christmas.

“Anne,” Marilla called, voice exasperated, “do go and see what Y/N is doing.”

“Will do,” Anne replied, bouncing up to her feet. She sent Bash a bright and excited smile before bounding her way over to the stairs and practically dashing up them. You could hear her loud stomping from your bedroom, and you sighed, already knowing that you would have to come down. Whether you liked it or not.

“Y/N,” Anne sang teasingly, knocking on your door. “Marilla’s calling for you.”

You didn’t reply. Instead, you remained sat on your bed, your arms crossed over your chest with a deep frown. Essentially, you were pouting. 

“She sounded cross.”

Huffing, you dropped your hands by your side, allowing yourself a moment of childish pouting. Then, “i’m coming,” you finally answered, pushing yourself up to your feet grumpily. You stomped all the way over to your bedroom door, swinging it open with another huff and glowering down at Anne as she smirked brightly up at you.

“Gilbert’s here, you know.”

Stepping past her, you set your lips into a thin line. “I’m fully aware.”

“He wouldn’t stop looking for you,” Anne continued, her voice light with amusement. “Every five seconds he was looking at the stairs in wonder, practically begging for you to walk down the stairs.”

“I understand, thank you.”

“He’ll be so happy-”

“Anne,” you snapped, sending her a quick glare. With the grin never leaving her lips, Anne yielded, holding her hands by her side as she chuckled quietly to herself.

You turned your head back round, taking a deep breath to steel yourself, before making your way down the stairs. You felt your chest tighten with nerves, unsure of how the night would play out, as you reached the bottom of the stairs. The moment you looked up, you regretted it, and the great urge to turn and run back up the way you came surged through you. But the moment you turned to do so, Anne was standing there, arms crossed over her chest with a quirk brow.

“I thought we were friends,” you grumbled.

“We are,” she nodded, “that’s why i’m doing this.”

“Y/N, is that you?”

At the sound of Marilla’s voice, you snapped into action. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you made your way into the living room, eyes on your feet. 

“There you are!” Marilla exclaimed, clicking her tongue. “We have company, Y/N. Where were you? And, for Godsake child, do look up.”

Sighing, you obliged, raising your head. The first thing you saw was Gilbert’s eyes on you and you quickly placed your attention on the man sat next to him, one you could only assume was the famous Bash himself.

“This is Gilbert, as you know,” Marilla introduced, standing up as she gestured before herself. “And his friend, Sebastian.”

Said man stood to his feet as well, extending his hand out towards you. “Bash, if you don’t mind,” he smiled, and you felt some of your tenseness fall away as your own lips curled into a soft smile. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Y/N.”

Accepting the man’s hand, you nodded; “you as well, Bash.”

“Now, what do we all say about having some supper?”

With a polite smile, Bash clapped his hands together before him. “It all smells so delicious.”

“Wonderful,” Marilla nodded, stepping past you. “If you’ll follow me,” she guided, gesturing before herself once again before her eyes fell on you. “And Y/N, because of your tardiness, you can blow out on the candles on the tree please.”

You nodded, sighing slightly to yourself as you walked past Bash and over to the Cuthbert’s christmas tree. You, as you usually were, weren’t oblivious to the eyes that remained on you, mentally wishing Gilbert would just follow the rest and leave you alone. 

“Y/N-”

“Shouldn’t you be heading to dinner?”

Gilbert sighed, and before you knew it, he’d stepped up beside you. You turned to ignore him, raising your hand out to blow one of the candles, but Gilbert caught your arm. It elicited a soft gasp from your lips as Gilbert gently turned you towards him. “Please,” he started, voice pleading. “I just want to talk. I haven’t been able to-”

“I’m busy now,” you cut him off, turning your head to scarcely avoid his gaze. “Besides, this is hardly the time. Marilla will be vexed if we take too long.” You said nothing more, and didn’t let Gilbert try to stop you once again as you turned, blowing out one of the candles. You continued to do so, working across the christmas tree and noticing, out of the corner of your eye, Gilbert doing the same.

There was only one candle left, and before you knew it, both you and Gilbert were leaning forward, blowing out the single candle at the same time. Silence seemed to echo as you looked up, meeting his eyes. For a moment, you were reminded of all the times you’d ever spent with the boy. Of when you’d first met him, and when you’d joined his dad and him for supper. And so many more.

You remembered why you loved him.

Then, Gilbert leaned back, and his eyes softened lovingly as a small smile danced on his lips. You blinked, snapping out of your stupor as you coughed slightly, brushing back a strand of lose hair out of your eyes.

“I know you won’t listen,” Gilbert said, pulling his eyes on you. “I was always better at it anyway,” he teased gently, and you hated the way a smile threatened to grow on your own lips.

You were suppose to be angry at him.

“But, I hope this will change your mind.”

Your lips parted when Gilbert pulled his hand out of his pocket, extending it towards you. A small little box laid in the palm of his hand, wrapped up in brown paper and tied off with rope. A little card that read your name was attached.

Slowly, you reached up, taking the gift out of his hands as your eyes darted up to meet his own in bewilderment. 

“Anyways,” Gilbert whispered, “best be getting back.”

He turned then, his back facing you as he made his way to the kitchen. Your eyes fell back to the gift, staring at it in wonder before you heard Marilla call your name, announcing it was dinner and you quickly turned, crouching down to set it under the christmas tree.

Later that night, when everyone else was asleep, you crouched down before the tree, picking Gilbert’s present up. You let it lay in the palm of your hand for a moment, just staring at it, before you leaned back, falling on your bum. Setting the candle down beside you, you set the present on your lap, pulling the two ends of the rope until it untied. Then, you gently ripped the wrapping paper apart.

You hesitated a second longer, staring at the black box in wonder. What could Gilbert possibly have gotten you?

Taking the lid off, a small gasp left your lips when you saw what he had. There, in the box, laid a necklace. A small apple was the charm, and the chain was gold in colour. It was an odd necklace, if you were being honest, unlike anything you’d ever seen before, and you idly wondered how Gilbert had managed to find one of the like.

You pulled the necklace out of the box, gazing at it in disbelief for a moment before wrapping it around your neck. The moment it was secure, you couldn’t help but glance at it once again, holding it up before something else caught your eye. Picking up the box once again, you felt a small smile fall on your lips as you read the writing inside.

Because I know you like apples.

G.B.

-

“Y/N?”

With a nervous smile, you glanced up at Gilbert, meeting his eyes. “Gilbert,” you replied, nodding your head slightly.

Gilbert paused a moment, glancing inside his house for a second before stepping out and shutting the door behind him. You stepped back yourself, allowing him some room as he turned his attention back to you. He didn’t seem displeased at the sight of you, more shocked then anything. “What are you doing here?”

“I opened your gift.”

Gilbert’s lips parted and his eyes lit with realization.

Raising your hand, you pulled the necklace out from the bundles of your clothing and jacket, revealing it to Gilbert. “I put it on last night and haven’t taken it off since,” you explained with a soft smile. “It’s lovely, thank you.”

“Well, i’m glad you like it.” Gilbert nodded, obviously confused as he returned your smile with a small one of his own.

Shoulders dropping, you knew you just needed to get on with it. “I know i’ve been ignoring you,” you started, surprising Gilbert. “I know that I haven’t been all that kind to you since you returned, and obviously, it’s confused you. But the reason why I ignored you was because I was hurt, Gilbert. Hurt that you left.”

Gilbert opened his mouth to say something, but you cut him off; 

“Maybe I didn’t have a right to be,” you shrugged, “but I was. Nothing can change. You left without a single word, without even a note. And I know, now at least, that it was something you needed to do. That you couldn’t be here after everything. After your father. That you were lost. But that day, at school, you acted like nothing had happened. Like you could return and i’d forget all about the fact that you left without even telling me.”

Gilbert didn’t say anything for a moment, seemingly stuck in his thoughts. Then he sighed, and whispered; “I didn’t know how to tell you.”

With a sad smile, you nodded. “I know.”

“You know?”

“Now,” you corrected, with a small smile. “I didn’t sleep last night. After opening your gift and seeing this, it made me think. I understand now why you left, without saying a word.”

Gilbert smiled softly, eyes hopeful.

“But, Gilbert... I have to tell you this because I don’t know when i’ll find the courage to do so again.”

“...Yes?”

“The reason why I was so hurt... why Anne sent you that letter and not me, or why i’ve been ignoring you, is because... because, i’m in love with you, Gilbert Blythe.” You confessed, chest tight with nerves. Biting your lip, you rose your gaze from the ground back to Gilbert’s own. “And when you left, I was scared i’d never see you again.”

Everything felt eerily silent the moment you finished speaking. You gazed up at Gilbert, hopeful, anticipating his words.

But he never said anything. Instead, Gilbert just closed the distance between the both of you and pressed his lips against your own. The action stunned you, so much so that your entire body tensed in response, as Gilbert’s hands came up to cup your cheeks. 

He was pulling away in the next second, a small smirk on his lips as he gazed down at you.

And, with burning red cheeks, you stumbled over your words. “That... Th-That, um, oh my... That-”

“I love you too, Y/N,” Gilbert interrupted your rambling with a soft smile. With his hands never leaving your cheeks, he let his thumb stroke your cheek, smile mesmerizing. “And i’m sorry for hurting you. F-For leaving without a word.”

Shaking your head, you regained your dignity, and you raised your own hand, clasping it over Gilbert’s. “It’s okay. I forgive you.”

After a moment of just staring into each other’s eyes, Gilbert pulled back, his hand slipping into your own and falling back his side. “Would you like to come in for dinner?” He offered, tilting his head to the side. “Bash would love to meet you, properly.”

“Anne did do a lot of the talking, didn’t she?”

Chuckling, Gilbert nodded; “yeah, she did.”

“Well,” you started, taking a deep breath in. “I’d love to, then.”

-

that’s it!

let me know what you thought? remember, reblogging always helps!

[exploratoryarts]

[post thoughts]

It’s been about 24 hours since I popped the full pill and I didn’t really get the whole depression thing (given that I only took like 45mg) but I did feel like shit by like 12pm onwards. With that I will firmly say that mdma is the true gateway drug IMO (given by what I said while I was lit). Marijuana is definitely not a gateway drug at all. I don’t honestly get why I spent like almost 2 hours writing that long ass post but it’s fine. It was honestly quite the enlightening experience and I would totally try that again (I really would like to give acid a shot tho since it has a much longer high 😊). If I do try ecstasy again though it’ll probably be different next time, and I probably won’t make a long ass post that no one will read that documents every bit of the high.

Although I will say I think I did a pretty good job at redesigning my tumblr and Twitter lol

a total of two days later, a 300mg caffiene Bang (i didnt plan on slamming one but i went to work only to find out my shift got cancelled like wtf am i not good enough for you dickheads or something?) and a cigarette between that last stanza and this one, I am lying in my bed feeling like absolute shit. from the moment i rolled until now it has been almost two days. in those two days i have gotten a total of 5 and 1/2 hours of sleep. how could 45mg of mdma do this lol. imagine if that shit were in fact 300mg. I would probably have been literally rolling in the streets which sounds sick as fuck but I probably would’ve been literally sick as fuck by today. next time (if there is a next time) i’m def making sure i have some thc on deck. it would’ve make this shitshow of a comedown so much more bearable i bet. but no instead i have a no show plug who i question as a homie now. i just msg’d him abt it hopefully that changes something, or everything. anything? idk i feel like i subjected myself to some horrible shit by taking it in the middle of the fuckin week lol what was i even thinking. oh well you can’t come to a conclusion without some experimentation am i right????????

anyways expect this to get buried under the hundreds of my normal reposts in the near future when i recover from this comedown (no OC planned since tumblr buried itself deeper in its grave by mandating it to be SFW considering that it started out as an edgy teen blog website for teens who wanted a sick blog without the intricacies of dead-af-blogspot or wordpress).

randomly editting again after saving for the 10000th time, i think this is the depression that people were talking about. could probably be better had i slept right but idk i was tossing and turning in bed all night what could i do?? now i wallow in my crater of lethargy and hopelessness. I’m not yearning of death like a depressed person would, but im only slightly worried about it looming around  considering how much i taxed my brain, heart, lungs, and nervous system these past 2 days. i probably shouldn’t tho considering what river, rdj, belushi, and all those other celebs have done before they died/recovered. i’m sure i’ll be fine but dam im not in a good place rn. i dont entirely regret taking it because nothing wouldve really been able to stop me from the moment i found it anyways, i mean damn the time is so right too since i been home alone-ish. i like how i wrote a long post while i was lit from some pill and 1/2 that i found on the ground and now im writing another longass post despite saying i wouldn’t. this is honestly just to ensure to you guys im not actually as weird as how i sounded im just a guy with vices i plan on dropping at one point. 

[wearsheadbands]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER.

Repost, don’t reblog.

BASICS.

NAME:  brynn  /  b. PRONOUNS:  she  /  her.

THREE FACTS.

ONE:  i drink a lot of water and consequentally have to pee at least every hour but its worth it bc # skincare TWO:   buT i also have the world’s biggest sweet tooth, so yk, counterproductive THREE: i ,,,,, love lydia martin

EXPERIENCE.

HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?):  probably 5-6 years now ?? PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED:  tumblr,  proboards,  skype. BEST EXPERIENCE:  ugh this hp rp i was in on proboards  --  my writing was wEAK af but the group was so developed and well thought out

MUSE PREFERENCES.

FEMALE OR MALE:  females.  i can’t play males unless i have an oUTRAGEOUS amount of muse FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT:  angst is c razy big w me, but im also a Fluff Hoe . i can get pretty into smut if i trust the person enough to write w them ?? idk d. all of the above PLOTS OR MEMES:  pLOTS bc otherwise ill be v insecure and worried abt if im taking things in a direction u dont want LONG OR SHORT REPLIES:  long most of the time, esp if we’ve plotted BEST TIME TO WRITE:  SEVEN IN THE MORNING WHEN I HAVE A CUP OF COFFEE AND AM ABLE TO SIT AT MY DESK IN A CLEAN ROOM ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S):  blair and i are as alike as we are different. we both tend to romanticize things to the utmost amount  ( i’m totally guilty of directing movies about my life in my head, too )  we’re also both crazy protective when it comes to our loved ones and share a strong drive and need for success. however, this girl lacks a conscious, and i literally feel guilty sO easily  --  if i did half of the things she did, i’d be a crying mess

TAGGED  BY:  my lil angel @secretswathed TAGGING:   @mysterysolved,  @petrovanity,  @hisbattles,  @cruelintenticns,  @mercycries,  @knowsdeath   +  anyone else who wants to do it !