#though there is also a case to be made for 2006

[mostlysignssomeportents]

My McLuhan lecture on enshittification

IT'S THE LAST DAY for the Kickstarter for the audiobook of The Bezzle, the sequel to Red Team Blues, narrated by @wilwheaton! You can pre-order the audiobook and ebook, DRM free, as well as the hardcover, signed or unsigned. There's also bundles with Red Team Blues in ebook, audio or paperback.

Last night, I gave the annual Marshall McLuhan lecture at the Transmediale festival in Berlin. The event was sold out and while there's a video that'll be posted soon, they couldn't get a streaming setup installed in the Canadian embassy, where the talk was held:

https://transmediale.de/en/2024/event/mcluhan-2024

The talk went of fabulously, and was followed by commentary from Frederike Kaltheuner (Human Rights Watch) and a discussion moderated by Helen Starr. While you'll have to wait a bit for the video, I thought that I'd post my talk notes from last night for the impatient among you.

I want to thank the festival and the embassy staff for their hard work on an excellent event. And now, on to the talk!

Last year, I coined the term 'enshittification,' to describe the way that platforms decay. That obscene little word did big numbers, it really hit the zeitgeist. I mean, the American Dialect Society made it their Word of the Year for 2023 (which, I suppose, means that now I'm definitely getting a poop emoji on my tombstone).

So what's enshittification and why did it catch fire? It's my theory explaining how the internet was colonized by platforms, and why all those platforms are degrading so quickly and thoroughly, and why it matters – and what we can do about it.

We're all living through the enshittocene, a great enshittening, in which the services that matter to us, that we rely on, are turning into giant piles of shit.

It's frustrating. It's demoralizing. It's even terrifying.

I think that the enshittification framework goes a long way to explaining it, moving us out of the mysterious realm of the 'great forces of history,' and into the material world of specific decisions made by named people – decisions we can reverse and people whose addresses and pitchfork sizes we can learn.

Enshittification names the problem and proposes a solution. It's not just a way to say 'things are getting worse' (though of course, it's fine with me if you want to use it that way. It's an English word. We don't have der Rat für Englisch Rechtschreibung. English is a free for all. Go nuts, meine Kerle).

But in case you want to use enshittification in a more precise, technical way, let's examine how enshittification works.

It's a three stage process: First, platforms are good to their users; then they abuse their users to make things better for their business customers; finally, they abuse those business customers to claw back all the value for themselves. Then, they die.

Let's do a case study. What could be better than Facebook?

Facebook is a company that was founded to nonconsensually rate the fuckability of Harvard undergrads, and it only got worse after that.

When Facebook started off, it was only open to US college and high-school kids with .edu and k-12.us addresses. But in 2006, it opened up to the general public. It told them: “Yes, I know you’re all using Myspace. But Myspace is owned by Rupert Murdoch, an evil, crapulent senescent Australian billionaire, who spies on you with every hour that God sends.

“Sign up with Facebook and we will never spy on you. Come and tell us who matters to you in this world, and we will compose a personal feed consisting solely of what those people post for consumption by those who choose to follow them.”

That was stage one. Facebook had a surplus — its investors’ cash — and it allocated that surplus to its end-users. Those end-users proceeded to lock themselves into FB. FB — like most tech businesses — has network effects on its side. A product or service enjoys network effects when it improves as more people sign up to use it. You joined FB because your friends were there, and then others signed up because you were there.

But FB didn’t just have high network effects, it had high switching costs. Switching costs are everything you have to give up when you leave a product or service. In Facebook’s case, it was all the friends there that you followed and who followed you. In theory, you could have all just left for somewhere else; in practice, you were hamstrung by the collective action problem.

It’s hard to get lots of people to do the same thing at the same time. You and your six friends here are going to struggle to agree on where to get drinks after tonight's lecture. How were you and your 200 Facebook friends ever gonna agree on when it was time to leave Facebook, and where to go?

So FB’s end-users engaged in a mutual hostage-taking that kept them glued to the platform. Then FB exploited that hostage situation, withdrawing the surplus from end-users and allocating it to two groups of business customers: advertisers, and publishers.

To the advertisers, FB said, 'Remember when we told those rubes we wouldn’t spy on them? We lied. We spy on them from asshole to appetite. We will sell you access to that surveillance data in the form of fine-grained ad-targeting, and we will devote substantial engineering resources to thwarting ad-fraud. Your ads are dirt cheap to serve, and we’ll spare no expense to make sure that when you pay for an ad, a real human sees it.'

To the publishers, FB said, 'Remember when we told those rubes we would only show them the things they asked to see? We lied!Upload short excerpts from your website, append a link, and we will nonconsensually cram it into the eyeballs of users who never asked to see it. We are offering you a free traffic funnel that will drive millions of users to your website to monetize as you please, and those users will become stuck to you when they subscribe to your feed.' And so advertisers and publishers became stuck to the platform, too, dependent on those users.

The users held each other hostage, and those hostages took the publishers and advertisers hostage, too, so that everyone was locked in.

Which meant it was time for the third stage of enshittification: withdrawing surplus from everyone and handing it to Facebook’s shareholders.

For the users, that meant dialing down the share of content from accounts you followed to a homeopathic dose, and filling the resulting void with ads and pay-to-boost content from publishers.

For advertisers, that meant jacking up prices and drawing down anti-fraud enforcement, so advertisers paid much more for ads that were far less likely to be seen by a person.

For publishers, this meant algorithmically suppressing the reach of their posts unless they included an ever-larger share of their articles in the excerpt, until anything less than fulltext was likely to be be disqualified from being sent to your subscribers, let alone included in algorithmic suggestion feeds.

And then FB started to punish publishers for including a link back to their own sites, so they were corralled into posting fulltext feeds with no links, meaning they became commodity suppliers to Facebook, entirely dependent on the company both for reach and for monetization, via the increasingly crooked advertising service.

When any of these groups squawked, FB just repeated the lesson that every tech executive learned in the Darth Vader MBA: 'I have altered the deal. Pray I don’t alter it any further.'

Facebook now enters the most dangerous phase of enshittification. It wants to withdraw all available surplus, and leave just enough residual value in the service to keep end users stuck to each other, and business customers stuck to end users, without leaving anything extra on the table, so that every extractable penny is drawn out and returned to its shareholders.

But that’s a very brittle equilibrium, because the difference between “I hate this service but I can’t bring myself to quit it,” and “Jesus Christ, why did I wait so long to quit? Get me the hell out of here!” is razor thin

All it takes is one Cambridge Analytica scandal, one whistleblower, one livestreamed mass-shooting, and users bolt for the exits, and then FB discovers that network effects are a double-edged sword.

If users can’t leave because everyone else is staying, when when everyone starts to leave, there’s no reason not to go, too.

That’s terminal enshittification, the phase when a platform becomes a pile of shit. This phase is usually accompanied by panic, which tech bros euphemistically call 'pivoting.'

Which is how we get pivots like, 'In the future, all internet users will be transformed into legless, sexless, low-polygon, heavily surveilled cartoon characters in a virtual world called "metaverse," that we ripped off from a 25-year-old satirical cyberpunk novel.'

That's the procession of enshittification. If enshittification were a disease, we'd call that enshittification's "natural history." But that doesn't tell you how the enshittification works, nor why everything is enshittifying right now, and without those details, we can't know what to do about it.

What led to the enshittocene? What is it about this moment that led to the Great Enshittening? Was it the end of the Zero Interest Rate Policy? Was it a change in leadership at the tech giants? Is Mercury in retrograde?

None of the above.

The period of free fed money certainly led to tech companies having a lot of surplus to toss around. But Facebook started enshittifying long before ZIRP ended, so did Amazon, Microsoft and Google.

Some of the tech giants got new leaders. But Google's enshittification got worse when the founders came back to oversee the company's AI panic (excuse me, 'AI pivot').

And it can't be Mercury in retrograde, because I'm a cancer, and as everyone knows, cancers don't believe in astrology.

When a whole bunch of independent entities all change in the same way at once, that's a sign that the environment has changed, and that's what happened to tech.

Tech companies, like all companies, have conflicting imperatives. On the one hand, they want to make money. On the other hand, making money involves hiring and motivating competent staff, and making products that customers want to buy. The more value a company permits its employees and customers to carve off, the less value it can give to its shareholders.

The equilibrium in which companies produce things we like in honorable ways at a fair price is one in which charging more, worsening quality, and harming workers costs more than the company would make by playing dirty.

There are four forces that discipline companies, serving as constraints on their enshittificatory impulses.

First: competition. Companies that fear you will take your business elsewhere are cautious about worsening quality or raising prices.

Second: regulation. Companies that fear a regulator will fine them more than they expect to make from cheating, will cheat less.

These two forces affect all industries, but the next two are far more tech-specific.

Third: self-help. Computers are extremely flexible, and so are the digital products and services we make from them. The only computer we know how to make is the Turing-complete Von Neumann machine, a computer that can run every valid program.

That means that users can always avail themselves of programs that undo the anti-features that shift value from them to a company's shareholders. Think of a board-room table where someone says, 'I've calculated that making our ads 20% more invasive will net us 2% more revenue per user.'

In a digital world, someone else might well say 'Yes, but if we do that, 20% of our users will install ad-blockers, and our revenue from those users will drop to zero, forever.'

This means that digital companies are constrained by the fear that some enshittificatory maneuver will prompt their users to google, 'How do I disenshittify this?'

Fourth and finally: workers. Tech workers have very low union density, but that doesn't mean that tech workers don't have labor power. The historical "talent shortage" of the tech sector meant that workers enjoyed a lot of leverage over their bosses. Workers who disagreed with their bosses could quit and walk across the street and get another job – a better job.

They knew it, and their bosses knew it. Ironically, this made tech workers highly exploitable. Tech workers overwhelmingly saw themselves as founders in waiting, entrepreneurs who were temporarily drawing a salary, heroic figures of the tech mission.

That's why mottoes like Google's 'don't be evil' and Facebook's 'make the world more open and connected' mattered: they instilled a sense of mission in workers. It's what Fobazi Ettarh calls 'vocational awe, 'or Elon Musk calls being 'extremely hardcore.'

Tech workers had lots of bargaining power, but they didn't flex it when their bosses demanded that they sacrifice their health, their families, their sleep to meet arbitrary deadlines.

So long as their bosses transformed their workplaces into whimsical 'campuses,' with gyms, gourmet cafeterias, laundry service, massages and egg-freezing, workers could tell themselves that they were being pampered – rather than being made to work like government mules.

But for bosses, there's a downside to motivating your workers with appeals to a sense of mission, namely: your workers will feel a sense of mission. So when you ask them to enshittify the products they ruined their health to ship, workers will experience a sense of profound moral injury, respond with outrage, and threaten to quit.

Thus tech workers themselves were the final bulwark against enshittification,

The pre-enshittification era wasn't a time of better leadership. The executives weren't better. They were constrained. Their worst impulses were checked by competition, regulation, self-help and worker power.

So what happened?

One by one, each of these constraints was eroded until it dissolved, leaving the enshittificatory impulse unchecked, ushering in the enshittoscene.

It started with competition. From the Gilded Age until the Reagan years, the purpose of competition law was to promote competition. US antitrust law treated corporate power as dangerous and sought to blunt it. European antitrust laws were modeled on US ones, imported by the architects of the Marshall Plan.

But starting in the neoliberal era, competition authorities all over the world adopted a doctrine called 'consumer welfare,' which held that monopolies were evidence of quality. If everyone was shopping at the same store and buying the same product, that meant it was the best store, selling the best product – not that anyone was cheating.

And so all over the world, governments stopped enforcing their competition laws. They just ignored them as companies flouted them. Those companies merged with their major competitors, absorbed small companies before they could grow to be big threats. They held an orgy of consolidation that produced the most inbred industries imaginable, whole sectors grown so incestuous they developed Habsburg jaws, from eyeglasses to sea freight, glass bottles to payment processing, vitamin C to beer.

Most of our global economy is dominated by five or fewer global companies. If smaller companies refuse to sell themselves to these cartels, the giants have free rein to flout competition law further, with 'predatory pricing' that keeps an independent rival from gaining a foothold.

When Diapers.com refused Amazon's acquisition offer, Amazon lit $100m on fire, selling diapers way below cost for months, until diapers.com went bust, and Amazon bought them for pennies on the dollar, and shut them down.

Competition is a distant memory. As Tom Eastman says, the web has devolved into 'five giant websites filled with screenshots of text from the other four,' so these giant companies no longer fear losing our business.

Lily Tomlin used to do a character on the TV show Laugh In, an AT&T telephone operator who'd do commercials for the Bell system. Each one would end with her saying 'We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company.'

Today's giants are not constrained by competition.

They don't care. They don't have to. They're Google.

That's the first constraint gone, and as it slipped away, the second constraint – regulation – was also doomed.

When an industry consists of hundreds of small- and medium-sized enterprises, it is a mob, a rabble. Hundreds of companies can't agree on what to tell Parliament or Congress or the Commission. They can't even agree on how to cater a meeting where they'd discuss the matter.

But when a sector dwindles to a bare handful of dominant firms, it ceases to be a rabble and it becomes a cartel.

Five companies, or four, or three, or two, or just one company finds it easy to converge on a single message for their regulators, and without "wasteful competition" eroding their profits, they have plenty of cash to spread around.

Like Facebook, handing former UK deputy PM Nick Clegg millions every year to sleaze around Europe, telling his former colleagues that Facebook is the only thing standing between 'European Cyberspace' and the Chinese Communist Party.

Tech's regulatory capture allows it to flout the rules that constrain less concentrated sectors. They can pretend that violating labor, consumer and privacy laws is fine, because they violate them with an app.

This is why competition matters: it's not just because competition makes companies work harder and share value with customers and workers, it's because competition keeps companies from becoming too big to fail, and too big to jail.

Now, there's plenty of things we don't want improved through competition, like privacy invasions. After the EU passed its landmark privacy law, the GDPR, there was a mass-extinction event for small EU ad-tech companies. These companies disappeared en masse, and that's fine.

They were even more invasive and reckless than US-based Big Tech companies. After all, they had less to lose. We don't want competition in commercial surveillance. We don't want to produce increasing efficiency in violating our human rights.

But: Google and Facebook – who pretend they are called Alphabet and Meta – have been unscathed by European privacy law. That's not because they don't violate the GDPR (they do!). It's because they pretend they are headquartered in Ireland, one of the EU's most notorious corporate crime-havens.

And Ireland competes with the EU other crime havens – Malta, Luxembourg, Cyprus and sometimes the Netherlands – to see which country can offer the most hospitable environment for all sorts of crimes. Because the kind of company that can fly an Irish flag of convenience is mobile enough to change to a Maltese flag if the Irish start enforcing EU laws.

Which is how you get an Irish Data Protection Commission that processes fewer than 20 major cases per year, while Germany's data commissioner handles more than 500 major cases, even though Ireland is nominal home to the most privacy-invasive companies on the continent.

So Google and Facebook get to act as though they are immune to privacy law, because they violate the law with an app; just like Uber can violate labor law and claim it doesn't count because they do it with an app.

Uber's labor-pricing algorithm offers different drivers different payments for the same job, something Veena Dubal calls 'algorithmic wage discrimination.' If you're more selective about which jobs you'll take, Uber will pay you more for every ride.

But if you take those higher payouts and ditch whatever side-hustle let you cover your bills which being picky about your Uber drives, Uber will incrementally reduce the payment, toggling up and down as you grow more or less selective, playing you like a fish on a line until you eventually – inevitably – lose to the tireless pricing robot, and end up stuck with low wages and all your side-hustles gone.

Then there's Amazon, which violates consumer protection laws, but says it doesn't matter, because they do it with an app. Amazon makes $38b/year from its 'advertising' system. 'Advertising' in quotes because they're not selling ads, they're selling placements in search results.

The companies that spend the most on 'ads' go to the top, even if they're offering worse products at higher prices. If you click the first link in an Amazon search result, on average you will pay a 29% premium over the best price on the service. Click one of the first four items and you'll pay a 25% premium. On average you have to go seventeen items down to find the best deal on Amazon.

Any merchant that did this to you in a physical storefront would be fined into oblivion. But Amazon has captured its regulators, so it can violate your rights, and say, "it doesn't count, we did it with an app"

This is where that third constraint, self-help, would sure come in handy. If you don't want your privacy violated, you don't need to wait for the Irish privacy regulator to act, you can just install an ad-blocker.

More than half of all web users are blocking ads. But the web is an open platform, developed in the age when tech was hundreds of companies at each others' throats, unable to capture their regulators.

Today, the web is being devoured by apps, and apps are ripe for enshittification. Regulatory capture isn't just the ability to flout regulation, it's also the ability to co-opt regulation, to wield regulation against your adversaries.

Today's tech giants got big by exploiting self-help measures. When Facebook was telling Myspace users they needed to escape Rupert Murdoch’s evil crapulent Australian social media panopticon, it didn’t just say to those Myspacers, 'Screw your friends, come to Facebook and just hang out looking at the cool privacy policy until they get here'

It gave them a bot. You fed the bot your Myspace username and password, and it would login to Myspace and pretend to be you, and scrape everything waiting in your inbox, copying it to your FB inbox, and you could reply to it and it would autopilot your replies back to Myspace.

When Microsoft was choking off Apple's market oxygen by refusing to ship a functional version of Microsoft Office for the Mac – so that offices were throwing away their designers' Macs and giving them PCs with upgraded graphics cards and Windows versions of Photoshop and Illustrator – Steve Jobs didn't beg Bill Gates to update Mac Office.

He got his technologists to reverse-engineer Microsoft Office, and make a compatible suite, the iWork Suite, whose apps, Pages, Numbers and Keynote could perfectly read and write Microsoft's Word, Excel and Powerpoint files.

When Google entered the market, it sent its crawler to every web server on Earth, where it presented itself as a web-user: 'Hi! Hello! Do you have any web pages? Thanks! How about some more? How about more?'

But every pirate wants to be an admiral. When Facebook, Apple and Google were doing this adversarial interoperability, that was progress. If you try to do it to them, that's piracy.

Try to make an alternative client for Facebook and they'll say you violated US laws like the Digital Millennium Copyright Act and EU laws like Article 6 of the EUCD.

Try to make an Android program that can run iPhone apps and play back the data from Apple's media stores and they'd bomb you until the rubble bounced.

Try to scrape all of Google and they'll nuke you until you glowed.

Tech's regulatory capture is mind-boggling. Take that law I mentioned earlier, Section 1201 of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act or DMCA. Bill Clinton signed it in 1998, and the EU imported it as Article 6 of the EUCD in 2001

It is a blanket prohibition on removing any kind of encryption that restricts access to a copyrighted work – things like ripping DVDs or jailbreaking a phone – with penalties of a five-year prison sentence and a $500k fine for a first offense.

This law has been so broadened that it can be used to imprison creators for granting access to their own creations

Here's how that works: In 2008, Amazon bought Audible, an audiobook platform, in an anticompetitive acquisition. Today, Audible is a monopolist with more than 90% of the audiobook market. Audible requires that all creators on their platform sell with Amazon's "digital rights management," which locks it to Amazon's apps.

So say I write a book, then I read it into a mic, then I pay a director and an engineer thousands of dollars to turn that into an audiobook, and sell it to you on the monopoly platform, Audible, that controls more than 90% of the market.

If I later decide to leave Amazon and want to let you come with me to a rival platform, I am out of luck. If I supply you with a tool to remove Amazon's encryption from my audiobook, so you can play it in another app, I commit a felony, punishable by a 5-year sentence and a half-million-dollar fine, for a first offense.

That's a stiffer penalty than you would face if you simply pirated the audiobook from a torrent site. But it's also harsher than the punishment you'd get for shoplifting the audiobook on CD from a truck-stop. It's harsher than the sentence you'd get for hijacking the truck that delivered the CD.

So think of our ad-blockers again. 50% of web users are running ad-blockers. 0% of app users are running ad-blockers, because adding a blocker to an app requires that you first remove its encryption, and that's a felony (Jay Freeman calls this 'felony contempt of business-model').

So when someone in a board-room says, 'let's make our ads 20% more obnoxious and get a 2% revenue increase,' no one objects that this might prompt users to google, 'how do I block ads?' After all, the answer is, 'you can't.'

Indeed, it's more likely that someone in that board room will say, 'let's make our ads 100% more obnoxious and get a 10% revenue increase' (this is why every company wants you to install an app instead of using its website).

There's no reason that gig workers who are facing algorithmic wage discrimination couldn't install a counter-app that coordinated among all the Uber drivers to reject all jobs unless they reach a certain pay threshold.

No reason except felony contempt of business model, the threat that the toolsmiths who built that counter-app would go broke or land in prison, for violating DMCA 1201, the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act, trademark, copyright, patent, contract, trade secrecy, nondisclosure and noncompete, or in other words: 'IP law.'

'IP' is just a euphemism for 'a law that lets me reach beyond the walls of my company and control the conduct of my critics, competitors and customers.' And 'app' is just a euphemism for 'a web-page wrapped enough IP to make it a felony to mod it to protect the labor, consumer and privacy rights of its user.'

We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company.

But what about that fourth constraint: workers?

For decades, tech workers' high degrees of bargaining power and vocational awe put a ceiling on enshittification. Even after the tech sector shrank to a handful of giants. Even after they captured their regulators so they could violate our consumer, privacy and labor rights. Even after they created 'felony contempt of business model' and extinguished self-help for tech users. Tech was still constrained by their workers' sense of moral injury in the face of the imperative to enshittify.

Remember when tech workers dreamed of working for a big company for a few years, before striking out on their own to start their own company that would knock that tech giant over?

Then that dream shrank to: work for a giant for a few years, quit, do a fake startup, get acqui-hired by your old employer, as a complicated way of getting a bonus and a promotion.

Then the dream shrank further: work for a tech giant for your whole life, get free kombucha and massages on Wednesdays.

And now, the dream is over. All that’s left is: work for a tech giant until they fire your ass, like those 12,000 Googlers who got fired last year six months after a stock buyback that would have paid their salaries for the next 27 years.

Workers are no longer a check on their bosses' worst impulses

Today, the response to 'I refuse to make this product worse' is, 'turn in your badge and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.'

I get that this is all a little depressing

OK, really depressing.

But hear me out! We've identified the disease. We've traced its natural history. We've identified its underlying mechanism. Now we can get to work on a cure.

There are four constraints that prevent enshittification: competition, regulation, self-help and labor.

To reverse enshittification and guard against its reemergence, we must restore and strengthen each of these.

On competition, it's actually looking pretty good. The EU, the UK, the US, Canada, Australia, Japan and China are all doing more on competition than they have in two generations. They're blocking mergers, unwinding existing ones, taking action on predatory pricing and other sleazy tactics.

Remember, in the US and Europe, we already have the laws to do this – we just stopped enforcing them in the Helmut Kohl era.

I've been fighting these fights with the Electronic Frontier Foundation for 22 years now, and I've never seen a more hopeful moment for sound, informed tech policy.

Now, the enshittifiers aren't taking this laying down. The business press can't stop talking about how stupid and old-fashioned all this stuff is. They call people like me 'hipster antitrust,' and they hate any regulator who actually does their job.

Take Lina Khan, the brilliant head of the US Federal Trade Commission, who has done more in three years on antitrust than the combined efforts of all her predecessors over the past 40 years. Rupert Murdoch's Wall Street Journal has run more than 80 editorials trashing Khan, insisting that she's an ineffectual ideologue who can't get anything done.

Sure, Rupert, that's why you ran 80 editorials about her.

Because she can't get anything done.

Even Canada is stepping up on competition. Canada! Land of the evil billionaire! From Ted Rogers, who owns the country's telecoms; to Galen Weston, who owns the country's grocery stores; to the Irvings, who basically own the entire province of New Brunswick.

Even Canada is doing something about this. Last autumn, Trudeau's government promised to update Canada's creaking competition law to finally ban 'abuse of dominance.'

I mean, wow. I guess when Galen Weston decided to engage in a criminal conspiracy to fix the price of bread – the most Les Miz-ass crime imaginable – it finally got someone's attention, eh?

Competition has a long way to go, but all over the world, competition law is seeing a massive revitalization. Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher put antitrust law in a coma in the 80s – but it's awake, it's back, and it's pissed.

What about regulation? How will we get tech companies to stop doing that one weird trick of adding 'with an app' to their crimes and escaping enforcement?

Well, here in the EU, they're starting to figure it out. This year, the Digital Markets Act and the Digital Services Act went into effect, and they let people who get screwed by tech companies go straight to the federal European courts, bypassing the toothless watchdogs in Europe's notorious corporate crime havens like Ireland.

In America, they might finally get a digital privacy law. You people have no idea how backwards US privacy law is. The last time the US Congress enacted a broadly applicable privacy law was in 1988.

The Video Privacy Protection Act makes it a crime for video-store clerks to leak your video-rental history. It was passed after a right-wing judge who was up for the Supreme Court had his rentals published in a DC newspaper. The rentals weren't even all that embarrassing!

Sure, that judge, Robert Bork, wasn't confirmed for the Supreme Court, but that was because he was a virulently racist loudmouth and a crook who served as Nixon's Solicitor General.

But Congress got the idea that their video records might be next, freaked out, and passed the VPPA.

That was the last time Americans got a big, national privacy law. Nineteen. Eighty. Eight.

It's been a minute.

And the thing is, there's a lot of people who are angry about stuff that has some nexus with America's piss-poor privacy landscape. Worried that Facebook turned Grampy into a Qanon? That Insta made your teen anorexic? That TikTok is brainwashing millennials into quoting Osama Bin Laden?

Or that cops are rolling up the identities of everyone at a Black Lives Matter protest or the Jan 6 riots by getting location data from Google?

Or that Red State Attorneys General are tracking teen girls to out-of-state abortion clinics?

Or that Black people are being discriminated against by online lending or hiring platforms?

Or that someone is making AI deepfake porn of you?

Having a federal privacy law with a private right of action – which means that individuals can sue companies that violate their privacy – would go a long way to rectifying all of these problems. There's a big coalition for that kind of privacy law.

What about self-help? That's a lot farther away, alas.

The EU's DMA will force tech companies to open up their walled gardens for interoperation. You'll be able to use Whatsapp to message people on iMessage, or quit Facebook and move to Mastodon, but still send messages to the people left behind.

But if you want to reverse-engineer one of those Big Tech products and mod it to work for you, not them, the EU's got nothing for you.

This is an area ripe for improvement, and I think the US might be the first ones to open this up.

It's certainly on-brand for the EU to be forcing tech companies to do things a certain way, while the US simply takes away tech companies' abilities to prevent others from changing how their stuff works.

My big hope here is that Stein's Law will take hold: 'Anything that can't go on forever will eventually stop'

Letting companies decide how their customers must use their products is simply too tempting an invitation to mischief. HP has a whole building full of engineers thinking of new ways to lock your printer to its official ink cartridges, forcing you to spend $10,000/gallon on ink to print your boarding passes and shopping lists.

It's offensive. The only people who don't agree are the people running the monopolies in all the other industries, like the med-tech monopolists who are locking their insulin pumps to their glucose monitors, turning people with diabetes into walking inkjet printers.

Finally, there's labor. Here in Europe, there's much higher union density than in the US, which American tech barons are learning the hard way. There is nothing more satisfying in the daily news than the latest salvo by Nordic unions against that Tesla guy (Musk is the most Edison-ass Tesla guy imaginable).

But even in the USA, there's a massive surge in tech unions. Tech workers are realizing that they aren't founders in waiting. The days of free massages and facial piercings and getting to wear black tee shirts that say things your boss doesn't understand are coming to an end.

In Seattle, Amazon's tech workers walked out in sympathy with Amazon's warehouse workers, because they're all workers.

The only reason the tech workers aren't monitored by AI that notifies their managers if they visit the toilet during working hours is their rapidly dwindling bargaining power. The way things are going, Amazon programmers are going to be pissing in bottles next to their workstations (for a guy who built a penis-shaped rocket, Jeff Bezos really hates our kidneys).

We're seeing bold, muscular, global action on competition, regulation and labor, with self-help bringing up the rear. It's not a moment too soon, because the bad news is, enshittification is coming to every industry.

If it's got a networked computer in it, the people who made it can run the Darth Vader MBA playbook on it, changing the rules from moment to moment, violating your rights and then saying 'It's OK, we did it with an app.'

From Mercedes renting you your accelerator pedal by the month to Internet of Things dishwashers that lock you into proprietary dishsoap, enshittification is metastasizing into every corner of our lives.

Software doesn't eat the world, it enshittifies it

But there's a bright side to all this: if everyone is threatened by enshittification, then everyone has a stake in disenshittification.

Just as with privacy law in the US, the potential anti-enshittification coalition is massive, it's unstoppable.

The cynics among you might be skeptical that this will make a difference. After all, isn't "enshittification" the same as "capitalism"?

Well, no.

Look, I'm not going to cape for capitalism here. I'm hardly a true believer in markets as the most efficient allocators of resources and arbiters of policy – if there was ever any doubt, capitalism's total failure to grapple with the climate emergency surely erases it.

But the capitalism of 20 years ago made space for a wild and wooly internet, a space where people with disfavored views could find each other, offer mutual aid, and organize.

The capitalism of today has produced a global, digital ghost mall, filled with botshit, crapgadgets from companies with consonant-heavy brand-names, and cryptocurrency scams.

The internet isn't more important than the climate emergency, nor gender justice, racial justice, genocide, or inequality.

But the internet is the terrain we'll fight those fights on. Without a free, fair and open internet, the fight is lost before it's joined.

We can reverse the enshittification of the internet. We can halt the creeping enshittification of every digital device.

We can build a better, enshittification-resistant digital nervous system, one that is fit to coordinate the mass movements we will need to fight fascism, end genocide, and save our planet and our species.

Martin Luther King said 'It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can stop him from lynching me, and I think that's pretty important.'

And it may be true that the law can't force corporate sociopaths to conceive of you as a human being entitled to dignity and fair treatment, and not just an ambulatory wallet, a supply of gut-bacteria for the immortal colony organism that is a limited liability corporation.

But it can make that exec fear you enough to treat you fairly and afford you dignity, even if he doesn't think you deserve it.

And I think that's pretty important.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/30/go-nuts-meine-kerle#ich-bin-ein-bratapfel/a>

Back the Kickstarter for the audiobook of The Bezzle here!

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[autumngracy]

"Trump is better for the economy, though!"

Aside from almost every major economist agreeing that Trump's economic plans would actually make things far worse than they are now, this man can't even manage his campaign's, his businesses', OR his personal finances.

Case in point, here a list from Public Opinion of his failed business endeavors:

"Trump's companies have filed for bankruptcy at least six times. This is no exaggeration. Digital World noted this in its SEC filings. This excludes additional business failures that might not have declared bankruptcy, but closed owing vendors, employees and others."

"For the record, here are some of Trump's noteworthy business failures."

Trump Airlines — Trump borrowed $245 million to purchase Eastern Air Shuttle. He branded it Trump Airlines. He added gold bathroom fixtures. Two years later Trump could not cover the interest payment on his loan and defaulted.

Trump Beverages — Although Trump touted his water as "one of the purest natural spring waters bottled in the world," it was simply bottled by a third party. Other beverages, including Trump Fire and Trump Power, seem not to have made it to market. And Trump's American Pale Ale died with a trademark withdrawal.

Trump Game — Milton Bradley tried to sell it. As did Hasbro. After investment, the game died and went out of circulation.

Trump Casinos — Trump filed for bankruptcy three times on his casinos, namely the Trump Taj Mahal, the Trump Marina and the Trump Plaza in New Jersey and the Trump Casino in Indiana. Trump avoided debt obligations of $3 billion the first time. Then $1.8 billion the second time. And then after reorganizing, shuffling money and assets, and waiting four years, Trump again declared bankruptcy after missing ongoing interest payments on multi-million dollar bonds. He was finally forced to step down as chairman.

Trump Magazine — Trump Style and Trump World were renamed Trump Magazine to reap advertising dollars from his name recognition. However, Trump Magazine also went out of business.

Trump Mortgage — Trump told CNBC in 2006 that "I think it's a great time to start a mortgage company. … The real-estate market is going to be very strong for a long time to come." Then the real estate market collapsed. Trump had hired E.J. Ridings as CEO of Trump Mortgage and boasted that Ridings had been a "top executive of one of Wall Street's most prestigious investment banks." Turned out Ridings had only six months of experience as a stockbroker. Trump Mortgage closed and never paid a $298,274 judgment it owed a former employee, nor the $3,555 it owed in unpaid taxes.

Trump Steaks — Trump closed Trump Steaks due to a lack of sales while owing Buckhead Beef $715,000.

Trump's Travel Site — GoTrump.com was in business for one year. Failed.

Trumpnet — A telephone communication company that abandoned its trademark.

Trump Tower Tampa — Trump sold his name to the developers and received $2 million. Then the project went belly-up with only $3,500 left in the company. Condo buyers sued Trump for allegedly misleading them. Trump settled and paid as little as $11,115 to buyers who had lost hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Trump University or the Trump Entrepreneur Initiative — Trump staged wealth-building seminars costing up to $34,995 for mentorships that would offer students access to Trump's secrets of success. Instructors turned out to be motivational speakers sometimes with criminal records. Lawsuits and criminal investigations abound.

Trump Vodka — Business failed due to a lack of sales.

Trump Fragrances — Success by Trump, Empire by Trump, and Donald Trump: The Fragrances all failed due to being discontinued, perhaps as a result of few sales.

Trump Mattress — Serta stopped offering a Trump-branded mattress, again likely due to slacking sales.

Truth Social — This existing Trump business owes big money, and may well be breathing its last.

And then of course is his long history of stiffing contractors, restaurants, and even entire cities for their event venues he used for his rallies—as well as some of his own followers—

—such as the case where he promised a greiving hispanic American family that he would pay for the burial of their daughter, Vanessa Guillén, a servicewoman who had been brutally murdered by a fellow soldier at Fort Hood in 2020, but later told his chief of staff not to pay for it after learning it would cost $60,000, reportedly saying "It doesn’t cost 60,000 bucks to bury a fucking Mexican!"

[hoesandnuggs]

One Of Us - Leah Williamson x Reader

(Not my image)

Based on the song ‘One of Us’ by ABBA

———

Arsenal wasn't Arsenal without you.

Since 2006, when she arrived at Arsenal, still only a girl, she'd had you.

Even in 2014, when Leah had been promoted to the senior squad, you'd been right behind her. It was only right you made your debuts together, as best friends.

There had always been something more than friendship there. Being young, you'd both been to blind to see it, until Jordan Nobbs had made a pass at Leah at one of the famous Arsenal Halloween parties and you'd lost your head.

"I don't get what your mad about!" She'd chased after you once she'd seen you storm out. You'd argued on the way back to your shared apartment, about 10 minutes away from the house you'd been at.

"You really don't get it?! That I've been in love with you since before I even knew what love was. That it's always been you, that it always will be you. And I fucking missed my chance to tell you because I didn't want to ruin a 10 year friendship!" You shouted.

She didn't respond, only placed her lips onto yours and promised you that she felt the same way.

Life was good. Playing together, going home together, being together. It was all you'd even known, until one day it wasn't.

Whilst Leah broke through into regular minutes in the first team, you struggled immensely. You and Leah both played in the midfield, and with the senior players he already had in that position, he really didn't need two of the exact same player coming in. Leah's connection with the team landed her in favor, she'd always been the one to make friends on behalf of the both of you, and in this case your quietness had been the reason for your downfall.

As a result, Pedro frequently criticized your playing style, and began not even listing you as a substitute.

You felt your world falling apart, Arsenal was all you had even known, Leah was all you'd ever known, but you knew you were better than a reserve player.

He called you into his office after a particular good training session, but had quickly ruined your mood.

"I only need one player, between you and Leah, you need to fight and prove to me why it should be you. The January window is fast approaching, don't let it be you I sell."

You arrived home in despair. Leah was quick to comfort you, asking what was wrong, but you were in no state to tell her about the conversation you'd just had.

She held you that evening, lips brushing over your cheeks as she whispered sweet nothings over and over again.

And so I dealt you the blow

One of us had to go

Leah's expression was unreadable at breakfast. The revelation of your conversation with Pedro had hit her. She enjoyed her life, playing for her childhood club, whilst also being with the love of her life every day. She didn't want things to change.

That week she'd been quiet at home, and distant at practice. Everyone else had noticed the shift in dynamic between the two of you too, eyes watching both of you.

By Friday you'd had enough, entering Pedro's office after training to tell him that you'd be looking for a new club in January, and that you'd made his decision easier.

To say Leah was upset was an understatement.

"Why wouldn't you talk to me before making a decision like that! This isn't just about you, this is about our future too!" She yelled.

"I did this for you! So you didn't have to leave the club you care about most! I don't want you to resent me for being the reason you leave."

"No instead I resent you for leaving me!" She screamed.

Now it's different, I want you to know

She could never resent you, not really. Even though she might have hated you in the moment, the minute your stuff was out the door and you were gone, she regretted every word she said.

You hated the way you left, the veil of darkness that cloaked every corner of your house in awkward tension. Leah barely spoke a word, watching as you gradually packed up your things. She knew she couldn't be in the house when you left for good.

Leaving your key on the table you walked away. And when Leah came home to find it, she knew it was the end of everything.

One of us is crying, one of us is lying

In a lonely bed

Staring at the ceiling

Wishing she was somewhere else instead

6 months was not enough time for Leah to get over you. She put on a front for her teammates, acting like it didn't hurt to partner up with Jordan for passing drills, or seeing the new signing with your number on her back.

Your cubby hadn't stayed empty for long either, a reshuffle in the locker room had meant the new signing sat where you used to. Leah couldn't even look over there, the fact that your eyes wouldn't be looking back at her in reassurance.

For a while Leah couldn't go home. It felt empty without the little bits of you. Leah hated the way you'd leave your keys on the counter instead of on the hook by the door, but now she wished she was able to complain as she put them on the hook herself.

After a while, your pillow stopped smelling like you too. Before she'd cry into it, the smell soothing her into a false sense of security, one in which she could pretend she was in your arms.

Instead, she was alone. The bed seemed bigger without you. She was just a body. Staring at the ceiling as she wiped her tears, wishing she was wherever you were, next to you.

One of us is lonely, one of us is only

Waiting for a call

Sorry for herself, feeling stupid, feeling small

Wishing she had never left at all

The move was tough. You'd moved out of the country, to a club where you couldn't speak the native tongue. It was hard fitting in, making friends. You'd never been good at it, not really. All your friends had been Leah's, she was always the one who introduced you to new people, knowing just how shy you were around everyone other than her.

Maybe Leah was right, maybe you should've stayed, figured something out together. Your solution had left you feeling more alone than ever, going home to your own pity party after practice.

You were stupid to think Leah would call, but still you sat by the phone hoping that every notification that pinged would be one from her.

They way you left should've been the first sign, you knew it was over, you knew she was done. But still you hopelessly pined over her, hoping she missed you just as much as you missed her.

You shouldn't have left. You shouldn't have left her

[iwanthermidnightz]

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Taylor played The Outside tonight in Tokyo. She wrote it exactly 20 years ago in February 2004.

“I wrote another one called The Outside - - - It’s about being left out in the cold and being well - - - an outsider. I don’t know if it’ll go anywhere, but it made me feel better.”

Hidden message for The Outside in Taylor Swift (2006) album booklet: You are not alone.

In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Swift said:

It’s about what I was going through at the time. I was a complete outcast at school and never fit in, never felt like I belonged. A lot of times back then when I was 12 or 13, I would write songs about relationships, when I wasn’t in relationships, because I would look at other people and try to observe what they were going through. But in the case of ”The Outside,” I was writing exactly what I saw. I was writing from pain. And I’ve always felt so lucky, because I’ve never needed an escape like drinking or drugs or anything like that to escape from the bad days. Music has always been that escape for me.

She also said of the song:

This is one of the first songs I ever wrote, and it talks about the very reason I ever started to write songs. It was when I was twelve years old, and a complete outcast at school. I was a lot different than all the other kids, and I never really knew why. I was taller, and sang country music at karaoke bars and festivals on weekends while other girls went to sleepovers. Some days I woke up not knowing if anyone was going to talk to me that day. I think every person comes to a point in their life when you have a long string of bad days. You can choose to let it drag you down, or you can find ways to rise above it. I came to the conclusion that even though people hadn't always been there for me, music had. It's strange to think how different my life would be right now if I had been one of the cool kids.

[coimbrabertone]

The Best F1 Season For A Non-Contender?

Well, the biggest story coming out of the 2024 United States Grand Prix is without a doubt the Verstappen/Norris thing.

To recap, Lando is coming after Max hard, gets run on the backstraight after run on the backstraight, but keeps going to the outside and can't pull the move off.

Finally, on lap 52, Lando has a good enough run that he's ahead, on the outside, but ahead. So what then?

Well, Max Verstappen is on the inside so he just divebombs to get the apex, goes wide, pushes Lando wide with him, and Lando has to pass around the outside in the runoff.

He's finally ahead.

Except no, fuck you, this is F1 and fun isn't allowed.

So the stewards are investigating this move where no contact was made, nobody got hurt, and there was enough runoff all around to land an Antonov AN-225 in.

And Lando gets the penalty. Lando.

Why? Overtaking off track.

Lando is 4.1 seconds ahead at the end of the race, gets dropped behind Max in the standings, everyone on social media is pissed. Some people - who are wrong - think that Max had the right because he was in front at the apex, others think Lando should've just given the position back and retaken it on track, which probably would've been the smart play in retrospect.

It's also kinda the racing equivalent of cuckolding though, isn't it?

Like, are we really watching for someone to have to give up a position to avoid getting a penalty?

"Ah yes sir, you drove me off track like a prick sir, but here's the position sir, have a good one sir."

Ridiculous.

Anyway, I'm sure this is the 97th different place you've heard about this incident, so I'll leave it there. Instead, I'm gonna talk about something overshadowed by all the petty bullshit going on between these two championship contenders.

And that's the fact that Charles Leclerc is quietly putting together a dream season.

First, he wins the Monaco Grand Prix. Winning Monaco is already a feather in the cap for an F1 driver, but it's also his home race, so that might just be one of the most special wins imaginable. Especially when you consider how miserable Charles' luck at Monte Carlo has been before now.

Then, he wins the Italian Grand Prix in a Ferrari for the second time, no less. He's won his own home race and he's won his team's home race, what more could you ask for in a season?

Well, the first race weekend back from his birthday on October 16th, Leclerc goes and leads home a Ferrari 1-2 at the United States Grand Prix. Now, I'm an American so the USGP is a special event for me - I wrote a blogpost all about its history last week - but I recognize that isn't the case for the Monegasque Leclerc.

Still, a GP win is still an amazing birthday present.

What a way to bounce back considering he was disqualified last year for plank wear as well.

So, that's three wins on the season, each one having something special about it. Does that make it the best season ever for a non-contender?

Well, that's a difficult question.

First things first, what do we consider a contender? In a way, everyone is contending for the championship, so they're all contenders.

Is it a potential shot at the championship then? Eh, probably not, because Leclerc still potentially has a chance at winning the championship.

So how about this: being a contender is having a realistic chance at the championship. So the championship leader and the direct challengers.

This year, I'd argue that's just Max and Lando, since Max has had the best car for years and started the season with easily the best car, while Lando has benefited from a recent surge by McLaren.

For another example, in 2007, I'd argue that Raikkonen, Alonso, and Hamilton were all contenders, but Massa was not.

So how about Massa's three-win season that year?

Well, he won Bahrain, Spain, and Turkey.

Two places without much connection to him, and then a track he already won at the year before.

In that respect, I'd argue 2006 was a more meaningful season for Massa. His first year in a Ferrari, he's far off Alonso and Schumacher, but he takes his first win at Turkey and then gets to win his home race at Brazil, solidifying his position as best of the rest.

Button 2010?

Eh, he's the reigning champion going into a good team like McLaren and ends up dropping away from the championship pack after Korea, and only takes two wins to his name: Australia and China.

I can't think of a reason those races would be special for him.

What about Button in 2011? Is he a contender that year? That's actually hard for me to say. He's second, he was painted as the challenger to Vettel, but he finished more than a hundred points off. Is that much of a rivalry?

Then again, can we really say 2011 only had one contender?

I'm not sure.

Canada, Hungary, and Suzuka are a decent set of tracks if you're gonna take three wins in a season, especially given how Canada went down, with it being Jenson's career drive.

That one could count then, I reckon.

How about further back in history?

What about 1966, when Ludovico Scarfiotti did literally two races - Germany and Italy - and won the latter. An Italian winning the Italian Grand Prix in a Ferrari has got to be special, right? Especially when you consider that this is the last time an Italian won the Italian Grand Prix. Not just in a Ferrari, but at all.

I suppose it's also as close as F1 has ever gotten to that 2006 Valencia Grand Prix in MotoGP where Troy Bayliss returned to MotoGP, filling in for the injured Sete Gibernau at one race at Ducati.

A race with Bayliss proceeded to win.

Troy hadn't won any races in full seasons with Ducati in 2003 and 2004, nor in his partial campaign with Camel Honda in 2005, but he comes back in 2006 as a replacement rider for one race and goes on to win that thing.

It's a wonderful racing moment, and Scarfiotti at Monza in 1966 is probably as close as F1 ever got to that.

Oh here's one.

Jody Scheckter in 1976. The whole world is watching Hunt vs. Lauda, McLaren vs. Ferrari, and here's Jody Scheckter in a six-wheeled Tyrrell casually winning the Swedish Grand Prix, taking four second places, and ending the season as best of the rest.

The Swedish Grand Prix was a great race for these one-off weird winners actually. Scheckter in the Tyrrell P34 in 1976, Jacques Laffite in the Matra V12 powered Ligier in 1977, and of course 1979 with Niki Lauda winning in the fan car.

Ooh, speaking of 1977, I think we have a contender!

...A contender for non-contenders? Yes actually.

Mario Andretti in 1977. He's got the Lotus 78, the first ground effect car in Formula One history, and it's not quite ready to win the championship, but it's still going on a tear.

Winning the USGP West at Long Beach, a home race for Andretti. Then winning at Spain and France, and finally winning the Italian Grand Prix, the other race Mario could call home. That sounds like an awful good season to me, potentially even better than Leclerc this year. He also finished third that year, so it lines up there as well.

How about this? We'll see if Leclerc can win another race or two this year, and if not, then I'll give it to Andretti. 1977, the best championship season for a non-contender.

Feel free to leave any notable seasons I missed in the comments below, I'm eager to hear what seasons y'all can come up with.

P.S

In other news this weekend, we had the Australian Grand Prix in MotoGP. Jorge Martin won the sprint and Marc Marquez the main race. The sprint was pretty uneventful save for a few scary crashes right at the end - particularly Bezzecchi and Vinales in turn one, with both riders thankfully walking away okay - while the race saw a pretty dramatic battle between Martin and Marquez at the end.

I don't exactly cheer for either guy, so it was a bit meh for me, but at least Phillip Island put on a good race.

As for NASCAR...quite frankly I didn't watch this weekend. I was watching F1 and after that I had a headache and I was mad about the Max/Lando stuff, so I just didn't want to bother with it. I hear Logano won though, which means he goes on to the championship four. Cue up the even year memes.

Even Penske tweeted a joke about that.

Penske tweeting jokes. Heh, that's a new one.

[not-that-syndrigast]

I hate Alpine.

And I know, it seems hypocritical of someone that claims to be incapable of hating, but that is why i am about to give you the longest analysis on whats wrong at Alpine.

The thing is, I don't hate alpine because of their drivers or just for fun, the reason i hate alpine is that i know they could be so much better. They have great drivers, they could be fighting for podiums right now, but sometime in 2022 it all went downhill. I don’t hate Ferrari, as an example, because I am well aware that they are trying their hardest and I don't agree with their strategies, but I don't hate them because it's not that deep. 

So, let's start from the beginning; the downfall of Alpine. But to fall, you have to rise. 

Alpine, or officially BWT Alpine f1 team, formerly known as Renault sport formula one team have had a rocky path. For clarification; the official team name has changed multiple times and Renault (the car brand) has been involved in different percentages. In 1995 they produced the engine that would help Schumacher win the world championship and the then team called Benetton the constructors title. In 2000 Renault officially bought the team and changed its name to renault f1 team in 2002, these are the parts where it becomes interesting; in 2005 and 2006, with the help of Alonso and Fisichella, they won both the drivers championships and constructors championships. In 2010, they pretty much sold the team to Lotus, only to buy it back in 2016 and rebrand it to Alpine in 2021, to “promote Renault sports car brand” as stated on wikipedia. 

Now, why is all that important? Considering all these facts, it's pretty clear that Alpine is not a winning team like Mercedes, Red Bull or Ferrari, but they still managed to win some things. Different then other current backmarker teams, they have experience that they should use, which brings us to the big point of this; the real rise of alpine.

The 2022 drivers line up, consisting of Alonso and Ocon as drivers and Piastri as test driver is the perfect example of a popular strategy on how to build a team. With the alpine rebrand, they made a lot of changes in head positions to ensure a new beginning. This strategy is most famously known from Mercedes in 2010. The strategy is easy; the team signs a former world champion with many years of experience, in this case Alonso. Alonso knows the big teams, knows how they work. He almost won a championship with both McLaren and Ferrari, he knows how to make a team competitive. His role was to teach Ocon and Piastri, because it was pretty clear Alonso wouldn't be able to stay with the team for another decade, that's what Ocon was for. Ocon as a driver was already experienced and thus cheaper than a rookie, he lacked experience in fights though which Alonso could give him. Piastri would have replaced Alonso and thus the team would have two young drivers with different strengths to build the team around and win. You can't make a championship winning team with a car and drivers in a year, but with the Ocon and Piastri combination, they could have easily kept both for a decade, if not longer. 

But this is where the downfall begins. The strategy was not the problem, it would have worked if everyone actually followed it. Ocon has mentioned in interviews before how his, Alonsos and others comments on the car were ignored and they’ve been facing the same issues for years, which means Alonso's whole reason to be there was ignored. The only reason why Mercedes managed to be so good was the fact that they could have employed Schumacher and Rosberg as engineering interns, they knew how cars worked and they could give feedback. Ocon and Alonso could do the same, only that they were ignored. Then, many important people left, like Piastri and Alonso. They had planned on Alonso leaving the team, but under better circumstances and suddenly they also lacked the second driver they had planned with Piastri, and that's where they made their next mistake; signing Gasly.

Now don't get me wrong, I love Gasly, but it's a strategic failure. The team had a not functioning car, drivers lacking experience that they should’ve gotten from Alonso and the team lacking basic team work. When a midfield team signs two experienced but not winning drivers, that's usually a transitional strategy when they either plan to sell or start a new strategy. With Gasly and Ocon they are aware they can't win, which is why we are at their current masterclass of disaster team strategies.

They got rid of Ocon, after being absolutely weird not just about him but pretty much everyone that has left, which is why I'm questioning why people even want to drive for them, but alright. Their next step is to sign a rookie in hopes to build a team around them, only that said rookie has no experience and won't be able to get much experience from Gasly either. Even if they fix their car, neither of them knows how to fight for a championship or even a win. 

I want to go into deeper detail about Ocon though, because to me it's the best proof that Alpine is absolutely going nowhere. Ocon is with this team for his now fifth season, he got their first win as Alpine, he's been there through a bunch of bad seasons, with different teammates to now decide that he would leave. This leaves me to believe that there could only be two different explanations as to why he’s leaving; either, the team wants to get rid of him. No team is nice to their drivers unless they are currently winning and even then it's really on edge. It's about money and not being nice, so after Monaco there was quite a bit of talk. I wont address Monaco here, because the crash itself is irrelevant; relevant is only how they talked about Ocon which led many to believe they wanted to get rid of him. It makes no sense in my opinion though, considering that Alpine seeks to get a rookie into the second seat, he’s the one with actual experience on fighting. Many talk bad about his on track fights, but i think it's exactly what you need to win. The other thought is that Ocon deliberately left because he doesn't believe in Alpine anymore, which would frighten me if i was at Alpine, because he’s been through four rather bad seasons, even if he could have signed for another team and there were talks, he used to believe in Alpine. Only that belief is over now and he thinks Haas could be better.

But these are only speculations; back to the facts. In recent times, Alpine also could not score with being likable in any other way. From the way that no one stays at the team and the team principal once again got exchanged to the fact that they want to become a customer team. Yes, the Mercedes engines are better but just logistically, everyone knows they won't be able to build a better car than both McLaren and Mercedes so they could have focused on engines.

Last but not least, it's good that they support many young drivers through their drivers academy, if only they actually got the chance of a seat that would be a bit better, but considering that except for getting an F1 seat, the Alpine academy is one of the best, i can't really hate them for it.

As always, these are only my thoughts and ideas so I would be very interested in what others think of Alpine and if you agree or not and why. Also i'm sorry this got so long, i still have many thoughts about them.

[zepskies]

Never Say Goodbye - Part 10

Pairing: Dean x Female Reader 

Summary: The first time you and Dean sensed each other’s thoughts and feelings, you were just kids. It would take years to realize that you both were bonded for life, and even longer to finally meet. [Soulmate AU] (Rated M for eventual scenes – 18+)

AN: Bear in mind, season 2 aired/took place circa 2006, so references like iPods are going to be dated lol. 

Word Count: 5,500 Warnings: M-rated chapter ahead—18+ only! Angst, smut, fluff, and feels. Oh yeah, and kidnapping.

Part 10: Worthy

In the months after John Winchester’s death, Sam and Dean spent even more time on the road than before. Hunting down the demon, as well as trying to find the Colt. 

You helped them the best you could with research on their various cases. However, now that you had been promoted to Library Curator at the museum, you had even more access to scholarly research and ancient texts, but even less time on your hands. 

If you were honest (and you weren’t), it was getting harder to balance your real job and Sam and Dean’s requests. But you knew if you said so, Dean would never ask you for help again. At the end of the day, it kept you connected to them. And you liked helping out.

The next time the brothers came home marked a few months shy of two years since you’d met Dean. When they were a day’s drive away, he called you to ask you something he’d never asked before… 

He wanted to take you out to dinner. 

You had cooked for him before. He had cooked for you. You two had ordered in and gone to grab dinner with Sam in tow. But in almost two years, you and Dean had never gone on an actual dinner date, getting dressed up, just the two of you. 

Needless to say, you were very excited…but you also had no idea what to wear. 

Dean had seen you in the professional blouses, slacks, and skirts you wore for work. He’d seen you in ratty old college shirts and yoga pants while slurping ramen noodles from a plastic cup. He’d also seen you in nothing but one of his old buttoned-down shirts, and then, in nothing at all.

But he’d never seen you dressed to kill. That wasn’t to say you couldn’t pull it off, because you most certainly could. It had just…been a while. 

So you dove into the shadowy recesses of your closet and searched for something you knew he hadn’t seen before. And you might’ve gone to the mall and bought a couple new pieces of lingerie, just in case the night went really well.

You were grateful Dean gave you a full day’s notice. It gave you the time to mentally prepare, but you still had to call him again to verify a few things.

“Okay, but where are we going?” you asked. “Casual dressy or dressy, dressy?”

Dean chuckled. “I have no idea what that means.” 

He sounded tired to you, but the playful note in his voice still made you smile.

“It means just tell me where we’re going,” you said with a laugh. 

“Nope,” he refused. “But here’s what I can do for you. I’ll be leaving the leather jacket at home this time.”

You tapped your chin thoughtfully. “Okay. That’s something, at least. Man, you really are the worst with these little guessing games.”

“I think you mean the best,” he joked. “Remember, I’ll be there by seven tomorrow.”

You let out an annoyed huff. “I hate you.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

He was still laughing when you hung up on him. You now had a plan though. 

The next day was a Friday. You were able to get off work right at five, but that still only gave you two hours to shower and fix yourself up. Not nearly enough time, you lamented, but you made it work. 

Your dad, blessedly, was working late again. So you had the house to yourself as you played your music loudly and danced to the beat while you finished up your makeup. 

Then around seven, a knock sounded at the front door. Wow, he’s actually on time.

You swallowed a small swell of nerves in your throat. Stop being silly, you told yourself. And you were careful in your heels on your way down the stairs. You checked yourself real quick in the mirror, just to make sure your hair and everything else was in place. Then you looked into the door’s peephole.

With a smile, you unlocked and opened the door. Dean was there to greet you with a familiar grin, and then his eyes went wide at the sight of you. You crossed your arms and leaned on the door frame.

“We’re all stocked up on Girl Scout cookies, thanks,” you teased. Dean’s grin kicked up into a smirk. 

“I’m not here to sell you anything, sweetheart,” he said. His hot gaze took you in—from your softly curled hair to your dark red lipstick, to the black suede dress that clung to your every curve and fell to mid-thigh, and finally down to your scarlet red heels. Then his eyes traveled all the way back up to yours. 

“But I’ll bet you could get me to sell my soul with just those heels,” he said. 

Your brain stuttered to a halt. You couldn’t help but blush at the flirtatious depths in his voice, overlayed with a fine layer of charm. It didn’t take much for Dean to turn it on, but when he did, you could guess how many panty-dropping one liners he’d had in his arsenal before he met you.  

And he’d cleaned up nicely himself. True to his word, he’d forgone his typical leather jacket (though you were fond of it) for a solid black jacket. He’d paired it with a charcoal gray button-down and some dark wash jeans. (You suspected that Sam had given some pointers for this ensemble.)

His familiar pendant still hung from his neck though, along with his mom’s ring on his right hand. He was still Dean, but he looked good enough to eat. 

His smirk deepened, and you realized he’d likely heard that thought. 

Damn it. 

You hadn’t seen him in a long time, so you forgot you’d have to pull your thoughts back from the soul bond sometimes. Right now though, it was all you could do to stop from dragging him into the house and kissing him senseless.

Dean shook you out of your thoughts when his hands found the curve of your waist. You looked up at him, holding onto the edges of his jacket. 

“Sam’s not joining us for dinner?” you asked innocently, while knowing full well he wasn’t. Dean leaned down to brush his lips against your cheek, down to your neck where he caught the pleasant, sexy scent of your perfume. He felt you shudder a bit at the sensation of his lips across your skin. 

“Nope. It’s adults only tonight,” he said. Pressed against him as you were, you felt the reverberation of his voice in your chest. It was a very pleasant sensation that pooled warmth in your lower belly, and down between your legs. 

Dean came back to your lips, letting his ghost over yours. He didn’t want to ruin that pretty red lipstick (but he also really, really did).

You played into it; your smile brushed against his lips while your fingers dragged down his chest. “Then, maybe you should take me…”

You shifted on your feet, letting your thigh graze between his legs. You felt his fingers dig into the small of your back, and you reached back to grab his hand and unwrap his arms from your body.  

“…To this mystery restaurant,” you said. “‘Cause I’m really freakin’ hungry.”

You flashed him a smile and slipped between him and the front door. You tossed him your house keys so he could lock it. As you walked down the driveway toward the Impala, you felt his disbelief, a lance of annoyance, but also his amusement. And a hot flare of desire while he watched you walk away from him.   

You crossed your arms again and leaned against the passenger door of the Impala while you waited for Dean. He locked the front door and returned to the Impala while pointing a finger at you.

“You play too much,” he said. Your smile deepened. 

As it turned out, he didn’t take you to the most expensive restaurant in town, or just to the local diner either. It was a nice Columbian steakhouse that ended up being the perfect place for both of you: a cozy atmosphere with Latin music, a historically Columbian-owned restaurant, and an interesting culture of food for you to enjoy—and a series of revolving smoked meats for Dean. 

You noticed though, that while your boyfriend was enthusiastic about the food, he still seemed off somehow. His smiles didn’t always meet his eyes, and while he looked great, he also looked tired. He didn’t have 100% of his usual swagger going on, and that was enough cause for concern. From what Sam had told you, Dean had been doing better in working through their father’s death.

“Dean.” You laid a hand on his knee while he put yet another cheese bun into his mouth. You earned his attention regardless. “You okay? You seem…I don’t know. Tired.”

He shook his head and thankfully answered after he swallowed. “Nah, just a long drive. What, you’re not having fun?” 

You smiled. “No, I am. I just want to make sure you’re okay, that’s all.”

Dean smiled back. “I’m good, baby.”

But you could tell he was hiding something—from the bond, and from you. You frowned at him.

“Dean, we’ve been over this,” you said in a quiet, but firm voice. “You don’t have to lie to me. Whatever it is, I can handle it. You can trust me.”

After a moment, Dean’s pleasant expression faded. A more genuine, rueful smile overtook his features. He took your hand from his knee and pressed it to his lips. He looked down for a few seconds, just thinking, and you gave him the time he needed to do it. 

He appreciated that about you. Though you were a curious person by nature, and stubborn about it, in moments like this you never rushed him. You gave him room to breathe. 

“Do you know what a djinn is?” he asked. 

You blinked at him in curiosity. That wasn’t at all what you’d expected him to say. 

“Yeah. I mean, djinn, genies—they’re all over Middle Eastern mythology,” you said, and with a more teasing smile, “And not just in Aladdin.”

Dean inclined his head. “Very good, Professor.”

“I’m guessing they’re real too?” you asked. 

“Yeah, nasty sombitches,” he confirmed. He explained that with just one touch, a djinn could propel you into a fantasy of your own making. A dream world, where you can have the life you’ve always dreamed of—at the price of getting your blood sucked dry in the real world. 

You grimaced. “Ech. Sounds like a party.”

“Yeah, it’s freakin’ Disneyland,” Dean quipped. 

“I’m assuming you and Sam ran into a djinn?” you said. 

Dean nodded. His gaze fell away from you as his thoughts drifted back to that world. That place where his family was more or less whole. Where his mom was still alive, and his family had never been sucked into hunting. Where Dean had met you while on a road trip with his dad and married you a year later. Where his little brother had become a lawyer and Dean a firefighter.   

His father had died too soon in that world too, but it hadn’t been a gruesome, lonely death caused by a demon. The only real obstacle in that perfect world had been that he’d drifted away from his little brother. They didn’t have a great relationship in that world, but it wasn’t anything that they couldn’t overcome with a few beers and a couple of heart-to-hearts in the Impala. 

But it hadn’t been real. 

Dean explained all of this to you over dessert, and you listened with rapt attention. You felt all the emotions he couldn’t readily express. 

“I saw what my life could’ve been like,” he admitted. “And I wanted it, more than anything.”

“But this is what’s real, and you chose it,” you said. “That’s what matters.”

Dean didn’t look convinced. You were grateful that he shared this with you, but you could also tell that this had been plaguing his mind. You also didn’t want him to have to wallow in it anymore. What you wanted was to help perk him up, or distract him somehow…

So when he dipped his spoon into the large chocolate brownie in front of him, you parried his spoon with yours and stole his scoop. He looked up at you with raised, incredulous brows. 

“What just happened here?” he asked.

You shrugged, smiling as you licked your spoon clean. Dean’s lips pressed together, but in the name of keeping the night pleasant, he decided to let it go. 

Once again, he delved into the brownie. And once again, you took his piece with your own spoon, even taking a bit of vanilla ice cream with it. 

“This is really good,” you said, humming in delight. “You should try some.”

Dean quirked his head at you. He didn’t know whether to be irritated or amused. 

“I’m tryin’,” he wryly replied. With a purposeful hand, he wielded his spoon and took a nice corner piece. Sure enough, your spoon came in to intercept him. But his left hand closed around your wrist. His gaze flicked up to yours. 

“You’re playin’ with fire here, sweetheart,” he warned. You went for your glass of wine with your free hand and took a sip.

“Am I?” you asked. “I thought we agreed to share.”

He leaned in close, until there were mere inches between your faces. “I don’t share food.”

You took his challenge for what it was, and you leaned in until your lips were nearly brushing his.

“Fine,” you said. Then you sat back and sipped at your wine again. You seemed to have no further interest in dessert, so Dean nodded to himself and raised the corner piece of brownie to his lips. 

Only to have you snatch his spoon from his hand and take the bite yourself. You washed it down with some water this time. While Dean sat back in shock, you offered him a smile. 

“This’s a great place. We should definitely come back here,” you said.  

For a moment, all Dean could do was stare at his damn-near empty plate. When he gathered himself, he looked over at you and smiled dangerously. 

“Yeah, we should,” he agreed. 

You finished your wine while Dean paid for the meal. He wouldn’t accept your money even though you offered to pay half. He asked you out, so he should pay, he reasoned. (He also ordered an extra brownie to-go.)

Anticipation ran down your spine the longer it took to get back to the car. You could feel his silent simmer, but also his patience. You knew he wasn’t going to let you get away with teasing him, but you also knew he was waiting for the right moment. Most likely when you two had some real privacy. 

But before you could open the passenger side door of the Impala, Dean’s hand stopped you. You let him maneuver you around and press you against the door, and you held onto his jacket for balance. You grinned when he bent down and claimed your lips with his own, demanding, sensuous, and greedy. 

You clung to his arms as he basically devoured you in the restaurant’s parking lot. His hands were hot on your hips, then kneading your butt, pulling you flush against him as your fingers curled into his hair.  

You hadn’t taken Dean for a PDA kind of guy; he was very private about who knew you were together. But then again, it wasn’t too often that you two went out in public, considering this was the first proper date you and Dean had ever been on. 

“You’re in so much trouble,” he said against your lips, but the effect was kind of lost when you could feel his amusement and searing desire. You giggled against him. 

“Okay,” you agreed. “I can deal with that.”

He pinched your butt, making you yelp and tighten your hand in his hair on reflex. He groaned into your mouth. 

“Take me home,” you said. Dean nodded, but he was reluctant to let go of you. Eventually he withdrew his hands and opened the passenger side door for you. 

First, you smoothed down his jacket and wiped away some of the lipstick from his mouth and chin with your thumb. His charming, full-watt Dean grin was back, and it warmed you up from the inside out. 

That night, in your bed, you and Dean made up for months of separation. You were starved for his touch, and Dean realized that with no small measure of guilt. 

He tried to focus on being here with you, but in the back of his mind, he still felt like he was somehow taking something from you when he made love to you. Like that hit and run you once accused him of.

This is what Dad warned me about, he couldn’t help but think. 

You both laid on your bed together afterwards, dewy with sweat and a hand on your chest to calm your racing heart. But as great as it had been for you, you knew that Dean was distracted again. 

The moment you heard him think about his father, it brought you back to that day in the hospital. 

“I’m sorry I told you not to go after her a few years ago,” John had said. 

But why? You sat up against the headboard, bringing the sheets up to cover yourself. Meanwhile, Dean was coming back from freshening up in the bathroom. He then started tinkering with your iPod and speaker on your nightstand. But he frowned while scrolling through most of the songs. 

Ugh. Avril Lavigne. Really? You heard him think to himself. A smile threatened to curve your lips as he continued to grumble at your playlist. But eventually he settled on “Going to California” by Led Zeppelin. That was neutral ground you could both agree on.

“Dean,” you found yourself saying, before you could think about it. He joined you back in bed, sitting beside you. 

“When I was fourteen, I remember it snowed the day of my mom’s funeral,” you continued. “I was standing there in the cemetery when it started. I was…well, a wreck. I looked up at the flurries, and I heard something.”

It’s not fair!

“I didn’t realize it then, but I think I was hearing you for the first time.” You looked over at Dean, and he met your gaze. 

“Sam and I were carted off to Bobby’s a few times when we were kids,” he admitted. “It’s possible.”

You gathered your courage, and you asked the question you had been holding onto for almost a year. 

“Did you ever…hear me? Before last year.”

Dean sensed that this was a leading question. You already knew something, or at least thought you did. He sighed.

You sat up straighter and faced him.

“Talk to me,” you implored. Dean hesitated, but after a moment, he answered. 

“It was around seven…eight years ago now. I was working a case with my dad near your school. That university.”

You thought back, and it must’ve been when you were getting your bachelor’s degree. Dean explained that he was about twenty-three, making you twenty at the time. And he started to feel you, hear you. It freaked him the hell out. 

“A killer dog nearly took my head off because…anyway, the point is, I figured out what it was,” he said. 

“But you left,” you said, both hurt and angry. “Why the hell didn’t you reach out to me?”

“My dad told me something,” Dean said. “He said I shouldn’t bring you into my life if I couldn’t hang up my gun. You know what…he was right.”

Your mouth fell open in shock. “How can you say that?”

“Look at what’s happening,” he said. “I’m on the road with Sam tryin’ to hunt this demon, pulling you away from your job with research, dragging you out in the middle of the night because I’m on death’s door. It’s enough!” 

You didn’t like the sharpness in his tone, or the stubborn look in his eyes. That was another thing you’d learned about Dean. When he got an idea of something in his head, a conviction, he wasn’t going to let it go in a hurry. 

Too frustrated to remain in bed, Dean got up and started dressing. You watched him put on his underwear and jeans in disbelief. But you stole his gray dress shirt before he could put it on. He wasn’t about to leave you like this. 

So you put on the shirt yourself and stood in his way. 

“It’s not supposed to be like this,” he told you.

“Who says?” you challenged. “We’re doing what works for us.”

“That’s my point. It’s not working. And it’s not fair to you.”

“When have I ever asked for fair?” You wanted to know. You had never complained, never asked anything of him except for two things: to keep in touch with you, and not to lie to you. 

“This WiFi connection goes both ways, remember?” he countered. “You can try hiding it all you want, but you hate this long-distance crap. Pretty soon you’re gonna start hating me…and shit. I wouldn’t blame you.”

You didn’t know what to make of that resigned look on his face, but it struck at your heart. 

You hefted a sharp sigh. “Didn’t you say that this was just temporary? That after you and Sam killed the Yellow Eyed demon, then you could come home?”

“It took Dad our whole lives just to track Yellow Eyes down,” Dean said. “Then it killed him.”

So he was saying this could take his whole life too. Part of you knew that, but you didn’t want to accept the reality that you could be living half a life with him forever. 

You didn’t realize it then, but Dean took your silence as a sign.

“Look, I get it,” he said, rubbing a hand over his face. “It’s not like we can just…cut the cord here. But I’d understand if you don’t want to keep doing this.”

For a moment, you stared at him uncomprehendingly. But if he’d just taken half a second to look at your face—to read the truth in your roiling emotions, he wouldn’t have kept running his mouth.

“Truth is, you deserve better than what I got to give,” he said. His hand raised to card through his hair, an anxious gesture. You knew in the way his eyes shifted away. 

A tremor of disbelief and dismay coursed through you.

What he had to give.

A man who'd first offered his protection while barely even knowing you. Who comforted you when you needed him, and celebrated your achievements instead of belittling them. Who believed in you when you told him about working yourself up at the museum. Who empowered you to hold your ground, and speak up for yourself.

A man who'd rather be alone than keep hurting you.

“Baby,” you tried, grasping his arm. Still, he didn’t quite meet your gaze.

“I’ve gotta go,” he said. 

You pushed him back with both hands on his bare chest when he tried to get around you. “Stop!”

He said your name in a sharp warning. You shook your head stubbornly. 

“Do you want me out of your life?” you asked. “Is that really what you want?”

Dean finally looked down at you, his mouth pressed in a firm line, his brows crunched over his eyes…but he couldn’t answer you.

“Then stop it!” you said. “Just fucking stop it. I’m tired of hearing you think that you’re not good enough.”

Dean’s expression slackened. 

“Stop lying to yourself,” you said sternly. “I don’t care what you think I want. Whatever ‘together’ means for us is what we’re going to do. Because you are worth it.”

That was your conviction. He'd been fighting for his family his entire life. And now for you, in a way. So the least you could do was fight for him.

“Yeah, it’s really fucking hard right now. On both of us,” you said with a nod. “But if you think I’m going to let go just because of that, then you don’t know me at all yet, Dean.” 

Your frown solidified into a look of determination. 

“But goddamn it, you’re gonna learn.”

His mouth fell open a bit, and his soft surprise gave way to shock when you rocked forward, taking his face between your hands. He accepted your hard kiss, the uncharacteristic way you demanded from him, claimed his lips and his tongue, and the frustrated pace of removing each other’s clothes again. 

For once, you took control and pushed Dean down to the bed. He let you do it too. It was an electrifying turn on—to have your hands be firm instead of gentle, but still purposeful in how you touched him. 

And you did. You straddled his lap, and between fierce kisses, you mapped out his body with your hands. He held you by your hips, but you soon pushed him down onto the bed. With wet, nipping kisses, you burned a path from his neck, down his chest and sternum, down the defined “V” between his hips. 

His breathing deepened the further you went, because Christ had it been a long time since anyone but himself had touched him. He supposed you weren’t the only one starving.

Your lips grazed and nipped the inside of his thigh, getting ever closer to where you knew he wanted you. His hand raised to tangle in your hair, but you moved his hand away and trapped it onto the bed. Your challenging gaze met his, and Dean raised his brows. 

No touching, unless I say so, you said through the bond. A smirk raised the corner of his lips. 

Yes, ma’am, he replied, making you smile. You then renewed your attention to the task at hand. You settled between his legs lowered down, where the object of your focus was standing perfectly at attention. You let your lips graze his dick. Careful touches, and really, a bit teasing. Dean sucked in a breath when your hands joined your lips, just soft caresses along its length, underneath, over its sensitive head. It was both exactly what he wanted and nowhere near enough.

His hand fisted into the pillow behind his head and the comforter underneath him. Your name fell from his lips—both a prayer and a plea. He felt the shape of your smile in a kiss, pressed against his thigh. 

I’ve got you, baby, you said. Finally, your lips descended on him and you took as much of his dick as you could into your mouth. Something between a moan and a grunt fell from Dean’s lips as you worked him over, with your hands joining your warm, wet mouth. He itched to touch you, but you were relentless and held his wrist down onto the bed. 

With his free hand, he grabbed onto the headboard as his back arched involuntarily, but there was nowhere to go. You had him trapped, and he was exactly where he wanted to be.

But just when he felt that crest of pleasure nearing and thought he was going to see black on the edges of his vision, you let him go with a soft pop. You leaned your arms on his raised knees and wiped your mouth. You looked down at his incredulous face with a mischievous little smile. 

Dean made a sound of both shock and frustration as he tried to catch his breath. His head hit the pillow while his hand went to his wildly beating heart. 

“Well, that’s just rude,” he uttered. When he was able to speak, that is. You stifled a laugh and moved up to cover that hand on his chest with yours. He flinched, but you were able to offer apologetic kisses. He reluctantly accepted them. 

“I’ll make it up to you,” you whispered against his lips. You took his hand and pressed a kiss to the inside of his palm, then brought it to your cheek. Despite the playful, annoyed suspicion in his eyes, he stroked your cheek with affection. He saw your game, and he begrudgingly admired it—and you.

Smiling, you sat back on his bare thighs and brought both of his hands to your body, grazing down your neck to cup your breasts. You sighed as his thumbs brushed over your pert nipples and kneaded the soft flesh. 

“Is this for me, or for you?” he teased. You shot him a playful glare. For that, you lowered his hands further down your body and guided his hand to the very wet folds between your legs. 

“I’m letting you touch me now,” was your cheeky reply. 

Dean smirked, but he sat up and obliged, gathering your wetness with his fingers and stroking your clit with deliberate movements. You shuddered a breath as he slipped a long finger inside you, followed closely by another. All the while, his thumb drew wet circles around your sensitive clit and brought you to the edge of your release. 

From that very first night together so long ago, he’d been learning how to play you like a five-string guitar. Tonight was no different, and despite how you’d edged him earlier, he had no qualms about making you come all over his hand. 

Your fingers delved into his hair, and you mentally praised him while you caught your breath, resting your forehead on his shoulder. He held you to him as you shook. But after a few moments, he leaned back to look into your eyes. 

Through your connection, you felt his playfulness grow and you just knew he was about to say something smartass. But right now, you were still in control. So you stopped his smart mouth with yours and claimed his lips with another deep kiss. 

You slipped a hand between your bodies, and this time you took a firmer hold of his dick. It was still a bit wet from your earlier treatment, and you stroked him a few times. His grateful moans sounded in your ear as he gripped your arms tight. You closed your eyes for a second, inwardly preparing yourself, before you sheathed him inside you. You both breathed hard as you adjusted and settled on top of him. 

He grabbed a fistful of your hair. “Fuck, baby—”

You nodded, soothing down his back. “I know. Damn, you feel so good.”   

You pushed him back down again so you could find the right angle that would serve both of you. Then you started to move over him. Dean dropped his head hard against the bed. To help him out, you gave him something to grab onto and guided his hand to your hip. He squeezed the flesh there, hard enough to leave fingerprint bruises later, you were sure. But the brief pain was a good motivator—it let you know when he was close to his breaking point. 

You reached down with your fingers to further part your folds and rub hot circles around your already sensitive clit again. You felt a flutter in your lower belly as that familiar, inexplicable thread of energy within you stuttered; the part of your soul that recognized its equal, its match. The bond hummed and grew hot and pulsing. 

Finally, its warmth washed over you. 

You gasped and grabbed ahold of Dean’s arms as you almost got lightheaded at the feeling. Dean was going through the same tumble of sensations as he uttered a strangled sound, spilling inside you. 

But he had good reflexes; he steadied you, with his arms wrapping around your frame and holding you to him. He eased you over back onto the bed, and then slid out of you.

For a little while, neither of you spoke. The frenzy of your earlier argument had fueled what just happened, but now that tension had dissolved into a hard-won peace. 

When he was able to move, Dean reached out to hold the side of your face. He tucked a loose, sweaty strand of hair behind your ear. Your smile for him was soft. You sensed he was thinking, searching for what he wanted to say. So again, you waited, slipping a discarded blanket over your naked body. 

“Okay, I think I hear you,” Dean said. “I love you, you know that?”

Your smile grew. He’d repeated the words you confessed to him when he was in the hospital all those months ago. And it was the first time he’d said what he felt for you.

You held a hand by your ear. “What was that?” 

Dean’s lips raised into a smirk, but his eyes were soft. He slid an arm underneath you to pull you against his side. 

“I love you,” he said, “so damn much.”

“I love you too,” you replied, but not without some exasperation. All this craziness, just to finally get on the same page. You grabbed his face with one hand and squeezed his cheeks. “That's my point.”

You made a sound of frustration before you released him. Dean laughed a bit, closing his eyes. You enjoyed his more carefree smile as you rested against his chest.

This man, you thought, is damn lucky he’s adorable.

He cut into your thoughts dryly, Pretty sure that’s my line, sweetheart.

You rolled your eyes. 

At least we made it through our first real fight, you said. In spectacular fashion, I might add.

Yeah, but you played dirty, said Dean. 

You just smiled. 

The next morning, you and Dean woke up after your dad had presumably left for work. You were grateful. It spared you from the awkwardness of a “morning after” in your father’s presence. 

I really need to get my own place.

So you made coffee while Dean made some toast and eggs for breakfast. But he got a call just as he was plating the eggs.

“Yeah, Bobby,” he answered. The more your uncle spoke, the more serious Dean’s expression got. You sensed a flare of his panic and you turned to him in concern. The plate in his hand hit the table with a clatter. 

“Where?” Dean said. His tone was sharp and worried. “I’m comin’ now.”

Dean ended the call and abandoned the food to grab his jacket. He explained before you could ask the predictable question. 

“Sam went missing this morning on a coffee run,” Dean said. “When Bobby got to the diner to check on him, the whole place had been cleared out, except for the bodies of the brunch crowd.”

You gasped and raised a hand to your mouth in shock. “What happened to Sam?” 

Dean’s face became grim and angry as he grabbed his wallet and keys. 

“Bobby found sulfur all over the place. He thinks Yellow Eyes took him,” he said. “…I’ve gotta go.”  

It was late fall, so you grabbed a coat from the rack and your purse. “I’m going with you.”

Dean halted at the doorway, and that stopped you short behind him. He turned around and gave you a firm look.

“No you’re not, damn it!” he said. “You’re staying here.”

“Are you kidding me?” you said. “The last time you faced this thing, it almost killed you!”

“You’ve got a job, remember?” he pointed out. You shook your head.

“It’s Saturday. I don’t have to be back to work until Monday, upon which I’ll take a couple of sick days if I need to.” Your words were both a warning and a promise. “Just let me help you find Sam. I’m handy with research. You know I can help!”

Dean didn’t like it. He had half a mind to keep arguing with you, but he really didn’t have time for this. He made a sound of aggravation and rubbed a hand over his face. 

He then levied a finger at you. “You’re staying in the car. When we get there, you don’t argue with me. You do as I say, got it?”

You nodded. Normally you would take issue with being ordered by your boyfriend, but in the world of dark and evil things, you would follow Dean’s lead. 

So you hid a triumphant smile as you locked up your house, then followed him to the Impala.

AN: Whew! Well, then lol. The reader finally gave Dean a piece of her mind (among other things). How'd you like their first date? 😉

Dean definitely gives me Joey vibes from Friends when it comes to sharing food. 😂

But as the chapter title implies, we also dug in a bit on how Dean sees himself vs. how his soulmate sees him.

So a lot of drama this time, but ending on another good ol' cliffhanger. AKA: Where the hell is Sam?

Next up, some action! Heading into 2.21: All Hell Breaks Loose (Pt. 1).

To keep reading: PART 11

Series Masterlist

Dean Winchester Masterlist

Main Masterlist

@curlycarley @buckywenal24 @jamerlynn @iprobablyshipit91 @globetrotter28 @deamus-liv @irgendwas122 @deans-spinster-witch @dogbarkbark4445 @my-proof-is-you @vera0124 @deans-baby-momma @lacilou @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @theonlymaninthesky @spnexploration @itzabbyxx @cevans-winchester @imagineteller1 @icequeen1371 @tiredqueen73 @bitchwitch1981 @abbigaleelizabeth @ohgodthebogisback @where-the-river-bends @loveprof6 @shadowcrowsworld @thespnlover @this-is-me19 @stevenknightmarc @leigh70 @pallographsunspot @syrma-sensei

[chernobog13]

Five versions of Supergirl head to aid their cousin (or in Cir-El's case, father), Superman, in Superman/Batman (vol. 1) #25 (May, 2006). Written by Jeeps Loeb. Art by Ed McGuinness and Dexter Vines. Color by Dave McCaig. Lettering by Richard Starkings.

I miss the Linda Danvers and Cir-El versions of Supergirl. Even though Cir-El eventually turned out to not be Superman's and Lois' daughter from the future, she was a fun character to have around. And there's always a chance a real Cir-El could be seen in the future (Clark and Lois had many servings of beef bourguinon after he returned from Warworld).

That said, I also miss Power Girl as she was depicted back then. Her personality now, as seen in One-Star Squadron and her current series, has made her into a whiney milquetoast, not the strong, confident woman she's been known as.

[azuresins]

Kuroshitsuji is not queer-coded. You are not as smart as you think you are. Your opinions about the series, are not factual. The manga has no canon queer ships at all.

I don't know why you're so obsessed with me or why you're trolling me this hard, this feels personal. But just in case. I am beginning to think people have completely forgotten what subtext is. Kuroshitsuji started out in 2006... Kuroshitsuji as a manga is attracting a queer audience, absolutely. I'm going to assume you don't know the difference between Queer-bait, Queer-coded, and Representation... and that's super unfortunate, for you. None of those, are the same thing. It's not scandalous to say that you don't need a ship, in order for a story to be queer-coded and meant to attract a queer audience. The Found Family trope? Queer-Coded. The Non-human/Monster interaction with humans trope? Queer-Coded. Going against Christian hegemony? Queer-coded. Crossdressing? Queer-coded. Gender nonconformity? Queer-coded. Shapeshifting? Queer-coded. Complete transformation of identity? Queer-coded. Even if Kuroshitsuji only had but ONE, of those tropes I mentioned (and I suspect I missed some, these are just the ones off the top of my head). It would still be Queer-coded, and Queer people will gather toward it. Yana knows this. But even if she didn't...? If this story and it's construction was all just one huuuge coincidence...? It doesn't make the story less queer-coded. All that aside. It doesn't actually matter if a creator of any media at all, intended to attract a queer audience or not, if they write with any of those tropes in mind-- queer people will still be drawn to it. A creator can declare their work wasn't intended to attract queer people, or for queer people to be drawn to it, and scream how much they don't like it... if they want to. It wont end well for them, though. They'll alienate a huge portion of their fanbase and also get made fun of, a lot. People will, undoubtedly, ask the question, 'If you didn't mean for queer people to read this, then why did you write about these themes that are queer-tropes and resonate so strongly with queer people?' And, the author usually responds in kind, by showing a steadily decline of quality of their work, and tries to write-in a lot of strange rules and stipulations after-the-fact to try to 'unqueer' their story as much as they can. Or else, they try to write something else and either way, what they write, ends up being a pile a of shit. Because surprise-surprise ... it's actually very difficult to write a good story without ANY queer tropes and queer themes. Look at what happened to the Wizard Author (that's exactly what happened, in case you were wondering). But apparently, I'm not very smart. So believe whatever you want.

[otherkinnews]

The effects of psilocybin on phantom limbs: an upcoming large study, and what otherkin have noticed

Orion Scribner posted on September 15, 2023:

Content warnings: This article talks about the use of psychoactive substances only as used in either medical treatment under the guidance of physicians, or in spiritual visionary experiences as entheogens. This article also talks about injuries and chronic pain, but it doesn't describe these in graphic detail. Be forewarned that some of the academic sources cited do go into graphic detail, if you choose to go read those next.

Summary: In California, a large study is looking for participants. Researchers want to see if psilocybin helps treat the participants' phantom limb pain. The study isn't about therians or otherkin. Many therians and otherkin experience phantom limbs, and some of them have made observations about how psilocybin and other psychoactive substances influence their phantom limbs. This article is an eight minute read, plus a bibliography.

A large study seeks participants who suffer phantom limb pain due to having had amputations

The Psychedelic Health and Research Initiative (PHRI) at the University of California, San Diego, is looking for participants for a study. They want adults who have had an amputation and who experience chronic phantom limb pain. The proposed will use MRI brain imaging to study the effects of a therapeutic dose of psilocybin on phantom pain. Psilocybin is the active ingredient in hallucinogenic mushrooms, which may have potential for addressing some forms of chronic pain that are difficult to treat. The $1.3 million study will be placebo-controlled and double-blind, and they will compensate participants $600. Specialized monitors will oversee each session, with doctors and rescue medications available. The pitch for the study doesn't say what dates it will take place, but a recruitment ad ran for it on August 31 in Amplitude, a news and lifestyle magazine for people who have had amputations. To learn more about the study or find how to contact its team by phone or email, see its pitch here, and Amplitude Magazine's ad here.

This proposed study doesn't say anything about otherkin and therians, and the recruitment ad only mentions that it's looking for people who experience phantom limbs due to having had amputations. Something intriguing is that that otherkin and therians have noticed that psilocybin and other psychoactive substances affect their own phantom sensations. The rest of my article will go into some background about all that.

Many sorts of people experience phantom limbs, of many kinds, for many reasons

When someone has sensations as though they have a body part that they do not physically have, the medical term for this is a phantom limb. It's best known in people who have had a limb amputated, but the phenomenon happens in many other cases. For example, it also occurs for people who have sensations of missing body parts other than limbs: ears, fingers, breasts, genitals, or internal organs (Langer et al, 2023; Dorpat, 1971; Ramachandran and McGeoch, 2007). The phenomenon also includes people who have sensations of body parts that they weren't born with (McGeoch and Ramachandran, 2012; Price, 2006). Some types of people who experience this are those who have had a stroke, who were born with incomplete limbs (McGeoch and Ramachandran, 2012), who are transgender (Ramachandran and McGeoch, 2008), or who elicit such experiences through experimental conditions (Casas et al, 2016). The medical term for a sensation of an extra limb is a supernumerary phantom limb (SPL) (Amoni et al, 2005).

Phantoms are underreported due to stigma. Most people who experience phantoms only talk to their doctors about having phantoms if they are very painful and they want help with that. The medical term for this is phantom limb pain (PLP). For people who do feel phantom pain, it can be different to treat than pain in a body part that is physically there. Experts are developing creative approaches for treating this pain, for example, mirror-box therapy (Imaizumi et al, 2017), virtual reality (Ambron et al, 2021), and psychedelic medicine.

What are therianthropes and otherkin?

Therianthropes (therians) and otherkin are people who have the long-term, integral experience and identity of being something other than human. For example, of being a wolf, elf, dragon, or Pokémon (Scribner, 2023; Sonne, 2021; Shepard, 2021). The explanations they give for why they are like this usually come from spirituality, psychology, or both (Kinmunity, 2016, pp. 19). Some common spiritual explanations are reincarnation or having been born with a nonhuman spirit, but not all therians and otherkin share these beliefs or hold them in similar ways (Lupa, 2007, pp. 27, 57-66). Though these examples of explanations are tied to spiritual beliefs, being an otherkin or therian isn't a religion and does not have religious or spiritual requirements. On the secular side, some explain themselves as having something about their mind or brain that's different than that of most people, not for spiritual reasons, but simply an undeniable part of their everyday lives (Lupa, pp. 80-86). Though this is an unusual way for a person to be, mental health experts say this isn't inherently a mental illness or delusion (Lupa, 2007, pp. 86, 261-262; Baker-Whitelaw, 2015).

Many therians and otherkin experience phantom limbs

Many therians and otherkin experience phantom limbs and phantom sensations of body parts that humans don't have, such as tails. When the therian community began in the 1990s, they contextualized their experiences with werewolf folklore. They developed jargon in which they refer to times of feeling nonhuman phantoms more vividly as phantom shapeshifting (House of Chimeras, 2021; Lupa, 2007, pp. 42-43, 126-127; Proctor, 2019, pp. 203-209). When the otherkin community mingled with the therian community in the 2000s, they adopted this shifting terminology as well.

Survey data suggests phantom sensations are prevalent among therians and otherkin. A large informal survey of otherkin and therians found that 72.1% of them experience nonhuman phantom limbs or phantom sensations (Kinmunity, 2016, p. 155). A team of scientists known as the International Anthropomorphic Research Project (IARP) or FurScience surveyed attendees of furry fandom conventions. The furry fandom is about enjoyment of fictional human-like animals in art, and its participants often roleplay as animal characters, but usually don't identify as animals. The IARP tended to find that 5% to 20% of furries identified as therians (Plante et al, p. 112). At AnthroCon 2015, the IARP found that phantoms were more prevalent among therians than other attendees of that convention. Of those therians who felt phantoms (percentage not specified in the IARP's public-facing materials), 70.4% of them tended to find it distressing (Plante et al, p. 116).

Otherkin and therian phantoms can feel different while influenced by psychoactive substances

Drugs are not a key aspect of therian and otherkin subcultures. Their communities rarely discuss the effects of substances in relationship to their therianthropy and otherkinship. Some otherkin and therians who have used mind-altering substances have noticed that these influence their phantom sensations.

The first source I've seen that describes this in significant depth is "Entheogens for Otherkin," an excellent presentation by Dove and Edge for verified adult attendees at Othercon 2022. A recording of the presentation is on Youtube. Though there isn't a written transcript of it, together with other attendees, I wrote five pages of notes on the presentation when I attended, which you can read in a section near the end of this document. Entheogens are psychoactive substances employed in culturally sanctioned visionary experiences in ritual and religious contexts. Othercon is a yearly virtual convention for otherkin, therians, and other sorts of alterhumans. Dove is a formally ordained Pagan priestess, an otherkin, therian, and host of a multiple system, with ten years of experience with entheogens. Her spouse Edge is a vampire and Catholic witch with twenty years of experience with entheogens. The panelists and attendees talked about harm reduction and safety. Some entheogens the panel talked about were psilocybin, ayahuasca, datura, and cannabis. Different entheogens each affect phantom sensations in their own characteristic ways, some having little effect on phantoms, and others making phantoms feel more vivid, or shifting, or developing entirely into an out-of-body experience. Entheogens may affect otherkin and therians’ phantoms in different ways from person to person.

About the writers: This article was written by Orion Scribner (they/them), with feedback from their boyfriend Page Shepard (he/they) and partner system House of Chimeras (they/them). The three& of them are historians and archivists for the communities of therians, otherkin, and other alterhumans.

References

Ambron, E., Buxbaum, L. J., Miller, A., Stoll, H., Kuchenbecker, K. J., & Coslett, H. B. (2021). Virtual Reality Treatment Displaying the Missing Leg Improves Phantom Limb Pain: A Small Clinical Trial. Neurorehabilitation and neural repair, 35(12), 1100–1111. https://doi.org/10.1177/15459683211054164

Amplitude Magazine (August 31, 2023). "Tripping the switch on PLP." Amplitude Magazine.https://livingwithamplitude.com/article/tripping-the-switch-on-plp/

Annoni, Blanke, Dieguez, Khateb, Landis, Lazeyras, Momjian-Mayor, Pegna, and Simon (March 20, 2009). “Seeing the phantom: A functional MRI study of a supernumerary phantom limb.” Annals of Neurology.https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19557858/

Baker-Whitelaw, Gavia (February 22, 2015). “Understanding the otherkin.” The Kernel. Archived March 18, 2015. https://web.archive.org/web/20150318110839/http://kernelmag.dailydot.com/issue-sections/features-issue-sections/11866/otherkin-tumblr-definition-pronouns/

Casas, D.M., G G Gentiletti, & A A Braidot. “Somatic and Movement Inductions Phantom Limb in Non-amputees.” Journal of Physics: Conference Series, Volume 705, Issue 1, (2016): 1-11 http://iopscience.iop.org/article/10.1088/1742-6596/705/1/012062/meta (accessed June 26 2016).

Dorpat, T. L. (1971). Phantom sensation of internal organs. Comprehensive psychiatry, 12(1), 27–35. https://doi.org/10.1016/0010-440x(71)90053-8 https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/0010440X71900538?via%3Dihub

Dove and Edge (2022). "Entheogens for Otherkin." OtherCon. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YEh0mVcLo0

House of Chimeras. (November 19, 2021). A Timeline of the Therianthrope Community.https://houseofchimeras.neocities.org/Nonfiction-Articles

Imaizumi, S., Asai, T., & Koyama, S. (2017). Agency over Phantom Limb Enhanced by Short-Term Mirror Therapy. Frontiers in human neuroscience, 11, 483. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnhum.2017.00483

Kinmunity. "2016 Otherkin Community Survey." Kinmunity. 2016. Private collection.

Langer, S. J., Caso, T. J., & Gleichman, L. (2023). Examining the prevalence of trans phantoms among transgender, nonbinary and gender diverse individuals: An exploratory study. International journal of transgender health, 24(2), 225–233. https://doi.org/10.1080/26895269.2022.2164101https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37114107/

Lupa (2007). A Field Guide to Otherkin. Stafford, England: Immanion Press. https://www.worldcat.org/title/137242792

McGeoch, P., and Ramachandran, V. (2012). “The appearance of new phantom fingers post-amputation in a phocomelus.” Neurocase 18, no. 2, pp. 95-97. DOI: http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/13554794.2011.556128https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21598175/

Plante, Courtney N., Stephen Reysen, Sharon E. Roberts, and Kathleen C. Gerbasi (2016). "FurScience! A Summary of Five Years of Research from the International Anthropomorphic Research Project." FurScience. https://furscience.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Fur-Science-Final-pdf-for-Website_2017_10_18.pdf

Price, E. H. (2006). A critical review of congenital phantom limb cases and a developmental theory for the basis of body image. Consciousness and cognition, 15(2), 310–322. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.concog.2005.07.003https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1053810005000917?via%3Dihub

Proctor, Devin (May 2019). On Being Non-Human: Otherkin Identification and Virtual Space. The George Washington University. https://search.proquest.com/openview/e156c24bf65c4efb0918a8db37433cce/

Psychedelics and Health Research Initiative (2023). "Research." UC San Diego. https://phri.ucsd.edu/research/

Ramachandran, V. S., & McGeoch, P. D. (2007). Occurrence of phantom genitalia after gender reassignment surgery. Medical hypotheses, 69(5), 1001–1003. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.mehy.2007.02.024https://linkinghub.elsevier.com/retrieve/pii/S0306-9877(07)00181-8

Ramachandran, V.S. and Paul D. McGeoch. “Phantom Penises in Transsexuals: Evidence of an Innate Gender-Specific Body Image in the Brain,” Journal of Consciousness Studies, Volume 15, Number 1, (2008): pages 5-16, http://www.ingentaconnect.com/content/imp/jcs/2008/00000015/00000001/art00001 (accessed November 5 2015).

Scribner, Orion (April 13, 2023). “A Simple Introduction to Otherkin and Therianthropes: Version 2.4.7.” The Works of Orion Scribner. https://www.frameacloud.com/nonfiction

Shepard, Page. “The 2021 Nonhumanity & Body Modification/Decoration Survey Results Breakdown.” Three Dragons and a Dog. August 28, 2021. Accessed December 4, 2022. https://invisibleotherkin.neocities.org/files/BodyModification-DecorationSurveyResults.pdf

Sonne (2021). “Terms and definitions.” Project Shift. https://projectshift.therianthropy.info/terms-definitions-by-sonne

A note for commenters on this article:

The author of this article is a layperson who isn’t involved in the study, so if you have questions about the study, please contact the researchers running the study instead, here. In your comments on my blog post, please exercise caution if you discuss psychotropic substances. If you write about illegal practices, for example, obtaining drugs that are illegal in your region, myself and other moderators of this forum may delete your comment. This is in alignment with Dreamwidth's Terms of Service, which forbids material that is illegal under United States law (section XI, subsection 8) or in your own jurisdiction (section II, subsection 2).

(This article was originally posted by Orion Scribner on September 15, 2023 on the Otherkin News blog on Dreamwidth, where you can read and write comments.)

[lycanpunk666]

I’m finally making THE big detailed Monster Island Lore Post.

General setting:

This world operates on the following assumptions:

-Supernatural is the umbrella term for any nonhuman sapient creature.

-Paranormals are rare nowadays and have limited legal protections. (Paranormals are anything besides creatures like vampires and werewolves)

-Persons With Supernatural Diseases are werewolves and vampires and such.

-There are hospital wings for supernatural related injuries and also for newly turned vampires and werewolves

-Generally speaking, supernaturals are only just starting to be treated like real people, but that doesn’t mean social acceptance.

-Chris's show integrates supernaturals and humans into one show, mostly with challenges that don't give them any particular advantage-- The reason he integrates supernaturals is actually for reasons completely unrelated to social progress but that's more like a happy side effect that arose from it— (Chris in-universe is generally considered really liberal or something which is just absolutely hilarious considering the circumstances)

Supernatural creatures were only able to be around in public with legal protections FAIRLY RECENTLY.

like. 2009 kinda recently.

In the 1970s— and ONLY then, before then this was pretty common— There was a whole ass job for Helsings- monster hunters.

They were basically a combination between detectives and assassins--

Think peak McCarthyism (and the red and lavender scares kinda) but worse. And they were only outlawed as a practice officially (before then most were disbanded) in 1995 (in America anyway. Helsing Abolition Act of 1995)

Most of the time the general practice if you find out your relative or friend is a werewolf was to report them because GRAH DANGEROUS MONSTER and all that.

Chris McLean is a well known child actor, performer, and all around TV star that was very active and popular (even at one point being considered a ‘heartthrob’ by a couple of teen magazines in the late 90s).

Around 2004, he sort of went radio silent— people even thought that he’d died, along with other wild rumors. But in 2006, he made a miraculous return to the world of TV and reality TV by announcing that he was setting up a brand new show: Total Drama Island!

The particularly important aspect of the show regarding its casual involvement of supernaturals right next to the rest of the human cast got mixed feedback, but ultimately the show got greenlit.

Werewolves:

Werewolves are people with lycanthropy. (And therefore in the “persons with supernatural diseases” category) Lycanthropy is transferred by bite, in the shifted form on the full moon only. People can’t choose to shift into wolf form (with mild exception). Wolf forms are mildly anthropomorphic wolf like beasts, with eyes unchanged from their human forms. In human form, all werewolves have pointy ears and fangs. Werewolves in general have increased strength and athleticism akin to a human skilled athlete. Also comes with an increase in testosterone.

The most common strain would just be referred to as the generic strain. Everyone knows it. Someone turns into a big muscle-bound bara werewolf, (so mildly anthropromorphic and larger than a human) and out of shift they’re a bit beefier and hairier than most folks and commonly have slightly pointed ears. Shifts on full moons only. Transmissible via bite in wolf form only. Also includes Loup Garous and Black Dogs/Grims/Barghests.

Another strain, rare but not unheard of, would be the Chupacabra strain— Most common in areas with a high vampire concentration and originally made with a vampire who got bitten by a werewolf, but in rare cases of this, a unique strain is formed and transmissible. Not as much hair growth, though sometimes the hair growth is traded for rough skin and hedgehog-like spines on the back and neck.

>>>>Other strains will be listed in the “bonus lore” post. Which is different from the “elaborated lore”.

Vampires:

Vampirism is basically a very weird, slightly magic parasite that definitely doesn’t follow as much logic as werewolves do. Vampirism is technically a bloodborne “parasite” (actually a non sentient symbiote since the host is rewarded with powers) that is transferred by bite, but is entirely up to the turning vampire whether or not their victim turns.

They must drink blood to survive, but any kind of blood works. The sun burns, but it’s more a discomfort most days and can be dealt with pretty easily with sunblock, an umbrella, or clothing that covers the body.

Vampires generally have super speed, and the ability to walk up walls, and They’re harmed by holy water and consecrated ground.

There’s also a weird phenomenon called vampire “royalty”. This actually doesn’t have anything to do with real royalty btw. But essentially, it’s possible for a vampire to “become” “royalty”, which just makes them a different type of vampire whose only real difference is long elegant pointy ears, “inkstained” hands and ears, and mysterious extra abilities. Nobody really knows how this happened, only that it’s something that does happen.

>>>>>vampire royalty is extremely plot relevant.

Paranormals:

The other kinds of supernaturals (called Paranormals) are considered separate SPECIES/RACES, they’re genetically compatible with humans and they’re just kind of another kind of people. More often than not, they’ve got their own isolated cultures that intertwine with the culture of whichever country they’re in.

-Sirens are any kind of aquatic creature. Could be merpeople, could be selkies, etc. They’re amphibious, but unless stated otherwise, can’t walk on land. [But they’ll be unplayable unless they’re explicitly semiaquatic. since this is an umbrella term, you can get extra creative with this…]

-Harpies are bird people, and can retract and extend their wings, but they’re very physically fragile. They have hollow bones, bird feet, they're very light, and they have long tails. (Could be based off of any bird species, and as such will have minor abilities based on that fact)

-Satyrs have goat horns, furry legs with cloven hooves, and short goat tails, as well as furry goat ears. They’re known to be energetic party animals, and are said to have a connection to Dionysus, the Greek god of wine and partying. (Just said to, though, there’s no proof of this)

Links:

- secondary info on werewolves

- secondary info on vampires

- HEADCANON species assignments

- TDI tumblr edition Intro post



[jakowskis]

torchwood fanfic resources

so i'm a chronic livejournal archaeologist, and fixating on 2000s media is particularly fun for me because it means i get to go digging on lj / dw / old fanfic forums. below you'll find some of the excavations from my torchwood fixation (give it up for month 6!) it's pretty much got every comm i've ever stumbled upon and found useful, or thought others would find useful. it's largely fanfic-oriented, though there's some more generalized comms, too. i hope you guys enjoy!

i was originally going to include a link to my reclist on this post as well, but it's still a wip, so i'll just post that separately in the future.

general disclaimer: most of the content here is from 2006-2013 or so. period-typical attitudes may pop up in places. i'm not sure if most modern tw fans have witnessed the original fandom at all, but i felt a need to say this anyway, because i've seen some icky stuff. i've warned for anything notable. gwen bashing in particular may unfortunately pop up in some of these comms, especially in the comments, so tread carefully.

if you're new to probing through old lj comms, remember to always have the wayback machine on hand, because you're going to run into a lot of purged accounts and seemingly lost fics, but sometimes you get lucky and something's been archived :)

as of the date i'm posting this, all of these comms are still accessible, but if you're from the future and some have been deleted, again, go ahead and give the wayback machine a try. additionally, livejournal has a system that includes 'cross-posting' in which, if authors choose to (and the majority of them do, to get their fics more visibility), fics get posted to multiple comms at once. so chances are, even if one comm gets deleted, the contents will survive through other comms. kind of like how reblogs continue to exist even when the original blog is deleted.

finally, ctrl + f is your best friend if you have a specific ship/character/trope you're invested in, especially in comms with less than ideal tagging systems. if a comm does have a substantial tagging system, you can find all of its tags by adding '/tags' the end of the urls i've provided.

ok... let's begin :-)

assorted livejournal communities

✎ torch-wood: this is essentially a torchwood subreddit. it started before the show even aired, and one of the highlights of it is episode reaction posts (easily accessible on the right side of the lj) that document how everyone immediately reacted to the eps, which is pretty damn cool, fandom-history wise. only thing i should mention is there's quite a lot of gwen and owen bashing in the comments of some of those reaction posts, so just be wary of that if you love those two like i do, 'cuz it's a bit of a bummer.

✎ torchwood-three: this comm is an extremely cool then-daily newsletter (that still updates sometimes?!) that compiled as much fan-content as it could find into cleanly organized lists. the posts made immediately after new episodes aired contain reactions, discussions, meta, theories, new fic, fanmixes, just about everything. very very cool to go back and see the way the fandom was thinking as the show was airing and as they were getting to know the characters. here's a direct link to all posts made in late 2006, during the airing of s1.

✎ torchwood-fic: exactly what it says on the tin. desktop layout is easy to navigate, tags are all there!

✎ torchwood-fic's profile page also features a list of affiliated accounts that's pretty handy. it's worth taking a peek at, in case i've excluded anything in this post that you might be interested in.

✎ twgenrefinders: handy dandy comm where people would ask for fics of a certain variety & be treated with reclists, or hyper-specific fics... pretty cool stuff, ive got several threads bookmarked to sort through the links later. ofc, please note that some of the things people asked for might be stinky. particularly i've seen a lot of ppl requesting gwen bashing fics :/

✎ twstoryfinder: cousin to the above comm; here, people would ask for a very specific fic they'd lost. it's kind of fun to find fics through because you get someone describing memorable scenes + hyping it up, so it's different than just a standard summary. this one still gets posted on, too, which is crazyyy.

✎ tw-unpaired: for gen fics! no romance allowed! there's some good character studies + friendship fics in there. stuff's tagged by character + authors are even tagged, in case you find one whose writing you particularly enjoy. this is v useful for when someone's main journal has been deleted.

✎ torchwood-decaf: a comm where janto is BANNED. nah i'm kidding, it's not anti-janto, it was just made because janto is so huge that it overshadows everything else. pretty smart, tbh; wading through the sheer mass of janto content can be tiresome.

✎ jack-in-cuffs: for dark tw fic, or uber smutty tw fic. as a fan of dark!fic, there's some goodies in here, but of course it's not everyone's cup of tea. most of the writers included warnings, but if you go a little further back, some people weren't as courteous; navigate with caution.

✎ jack-owen: for fic featuring our captain and his (second favorite) doctor. i know this pairing's kinda divisive nowadays, but i enjoy it a lot. the comm's got a dismal tagging system and, ngl, i don't truly like any of the fics there (i'm very intrigued by jack and owen's relationship but i've never found fic that really does them justice, and i still haven't figured out how to write them myself) - but i'll include it anyway.

✎ odetojoi: for fic featuring owen in the middle of a janto sandwich, for those of us who are allergic to women (/sarcasm). there's an oddly impressive supply of fics of the three of them, and a good chunk of them can be found in this comm. (everytime i see this comm i think of a certain abbreviation found in p/rnogr/phy... but i digress)

✎ halfwee-and-tea: for ianto x owen fic. haven't gone through this one much, truthfully. i hate when comms have no tagging systems agh.

✎ owenharper-fans: a comm for the saddest undeadest bisexualest doctor around. also features a few burn appreciation posts, which is nice to see pre-pac rim era. mostly just features a shit ton of owen fic, particularly owen x ianto fic. mostly sufficiently tagged. if you need me once i post this, btw, i will be balls deep in this comm.

✎ the pro-owen alliance: another owen-focused comm - i think this one was made directly in response to owen bashing. haven't combed through this one much but it's got a fair amount of fics.

✎ house-of-cooper: a gwen comm! made in response to gwen bashing. haven't gone through it, but i'm glad it exists.

✎ torchwoodcoffee: ianto comm! this one's hugeee. the majority of it's janto, but the pairings aren't tagged, which is really frustrating. about 6k fics on there, though! just untagged. fff.

✎ tw-femficfest: a comm for fic about any and all of the torchwood ladies. tagging's cleanly done & there's some handy fic round ups, too.

✎ tw-femslash: yuri!!! wahoo!!! a comm for f/f tw ships. there's quite a lot of fic on here, but unfortunately there's no tagging whatsoever. sigh.

✎ tw-classic: a comm for 'all things series one and two of torchwood'. was made after s3 and was popular around s4 out of nostalgia for the golden age <3 good amount of fic, discussions, etc.

✎ torchwood-house: this comm is, like, letterboxd, but for torchwood fanfic. basically a group of individuals who thought of themselves as having Good Taste would read Good Fic and then go in this comm and write a post about why they recommend it. it's well-made, easy to scroll through, and sells the fics v well, and it kinda gets you more excited to read them when you get to see someone hype them up with Fancy Words. it's like a little torchwood yaoi bookclub. we're eating quiche

✎ tw100: a drabble challenge; this thing's full of 100 word drabbles. ngl i hate drabbles but i'm throwing it in here anyway

✎ touchyerwood: i love kink memes... i love kink memes less when my favorite character/pairing is unpopular. the pac rim kink meme's been a blessing bc i'm a basic ass newmann - the torchwood kink meme? not so much. it's got a fair amount of shit, though, so maybe someone else will appreciate it. this one isn't the original, that one's been wiped off the internet, to my chagrin. keep in mind before digging that people in kink memes are horny & gross. that's your warning.

✎ reel-torchwood: for any and all movie aus... ok i have a bone to pick with this comm. i'm a big movie nerd, i love film, i've seen dozens of films i've thought would make good aus - i combed through this and there is not a SINGLE fic in there that piqued my interest. NOTHING. needless to say my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined. i'm sure my experiences aren't universal though.

✎ torchwoodslash: ah, remember when we called it slash? gee whiz. i'm not big on this comm, it's not very user friendly + there's like no tags whatsoever so it's extremely hard to navigate. enter at your own risk & good luck, lol.

✎ rounds-of-kink: this isn't a torchwood-exclusive comm, but it's got a sizeable torchwood tag, which can be found here. pretty organized tagging system; makes me happy.

✎ tw-declassified: this comm was mainly used for running a 'torchwood bingo', which, i've been in other fandoms that do episode bingos and it's usually cute... this one confused me a little so i didn't bother peeking around too much, but still a cool little bit of fandom history.

✎ writerinadrawer: this was an annual torchwood writer's challenge that ran for four years... it's kinda hard to navigate but it does have some fic in it so i'm putting it here.

✎ dmarley-recs: a recs journal someone ran for compiling torchwood fic; it's got a l o t of recs on there, largely jack/ianto.

ok and straying from lj briefly for two other places to find fic...

✎ kink_bingo: this is a dreamwidth comm, and it's not torchwood-exclusive, so i've linked straight to the torchwood tag. this comm has a livejournal equivalent, but for some reason the tw tag is pretty barren on that one? not sure why. but on dw it's got a fair amount. the tagging system is rough, it tags fandom and kink but not pairing, which is irritating, and every post is hidden under a cut AND makes you go through a discretion barrier every single time (but probably only if you don't have an account? i'm not logged in) which makes navigation a pain. but i dunno, more smut, if you want it.

✎ whofic.com: this site is for doctor who fic, but it's got a very substantial amount of torchwood fic. i do not, however, like the formatting at all. i'm being overly nice; i HATE the formatting. it's very reminiscent of fanfic dot net but, like, worse. it reminds me of adultfanfiction dot org which was a NIGHTMARE to use. but! there is torchwood fic there so it's going in here.

aaaand there we go! that's all i have. i hope these prove handy! enjoy :D

[recklessfiction]

Writing Inspiration - Horror Movies -

The Thing (1982)

The Thing kills it with creature design and captures the vibe of horrors beyond our own rational understanding. I love Kurt Russell also, he's very capable and attractive and has fabulous hair.

The Wicker Man (1973)

The original Wicker Man is very much a christianity vs the "old ways" story. A fish out of water story, a warning to the christian about getting in too deep. It's really good, the kind of religious clashing I personally love to see.

The Lighthouse (2019)

What can I even say about this movie? It's weird, it folkloric, its otherwordly. It does what I love which is show a dull staple in mythology, in this case the mermaid/sea god, and made it weird again, made it strange and unsettling. It's made the sea and what is in the sea something to fear. Its my vibe but certainly not everyone's.

Pan's Labyrinth (2006)

GDT doesn't miss. I love when people make fairy tales frightening, and the creatures in them are weird and strange. I love fairy tales that are horror because that's what they've always been, warnings and something to scare children, and Pan's Labyrinth kills it!

Curse of the Demon (1957)

This is really just a comfort movie for me but it's very good and you should watch it.

Mad God (2021)

Mad God is something else. Not everyone's cup of tea, gross, horribly violent, uncomfortable, and odd. But I think it's wonderful in its wild creativity and strangeness. I like that it's more of a dream, shooting in wild directions with no real story line. It's a journey that you're just a part of and can't escape from, a nightmare.

Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust (2000)

Beautiful movie. Gorgeous. Love that the vampires are strange looking but still beautiful and dignified, it speaks to the level of artistry and creativity that Yoshitaka Amano has.

Suspiria (1977)

This movie something you need to watch to understand. It's not just images, its the soundtrack, the colours, the shots and cuts. Its an entire sensory experience with music by Goblin.

Hellraiser (1987)

A classic. Again, the designs rock and the atmosphere is wonderful. Sex and death and blood and meat, man. Lust and unfinished bodies but its still sexy even though your goddamn muscle juices are dripping onto the floor. It's great.

Evil Dead 2 (1987) & Army of Darkness (1992)

The king of horror comedy, I wish I had as much charisma and jokes as Ash Williams. A great time in general.

The Horror of Dracula (1958)

I enjoy the Hammer horror films over Universal simply because of the life that's in them. They're funny and have a lot of action and are seductive while the Universal versions, while wonderful in their own right, are more dramatic, and lowkey. I love the Horror of Dracula with all my heart, Peter Cushing is so dignified even as he's jumping onto tables and running around constantly, and it's just a lot more fun!

Annihilation (2018)

When I first saw this movie, my first thought was that the characters were entering a fairy ring. The otherworldlyness of The Shimmer, it's beauty even in the horrific parts of itself, in the alligator and the other body horror elements, is something I love. Making decay and and death and horror beautiful, so much so that you start to question whether or not you should be afraid (the answer is of course yes you should be.)

[justinspoliticalcorner]

S.V. Dáte at HuffPost:

WASHINGTON ― Would Donald Trump ever have become president if he hadn’t paid off porn star Stormy Daniels to keep her quiet in the days before the 2016 election? The answer is impossible to know, but the premise of the question forms the basis of the very first criminal trial of a former president in American history: whether Trump’s scheme to keep Daniels’ claim of a 2006 affair with him under wraps was, in fact, a crime for which the coup-attempting former president should be punished. While “hush money case” has become the shorthand to describe the first of Trump’s four criminal cases to go to trial, particularly among Trump defenders who wish to diminish it, that is not how it will be described to prospective jurors Monday at the scheduled start of jury selection. Judge Juan Merchan’s first sentence of a 223-word summary describing the case to jurors reads: “The allegations are, in substance, that Donald Trump falsified business records to conceal an agreement with others to unlawfully influence the 2016 presidential election.”

Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg, who brought the 34-count indictment against Trump just over a year ago, will argue that the ledger entries and other business documents Trump created claiming that he was paying lawyer Michael Cohen for “legal services” when in reality he was repaying him for the $130,000 check he delivered to Daniels, were felonies under New York law. “The core is not money for sex,” Bragg told New York’s public radio affiliate last year. “We would say it’s about conspiring to corrupt a presidential election and then lying in New York business records to cover it up.” Trump’s campaign did not respond to HuffPost’s queries for this report. He has primarily argued on social media and in his campaign speeches that the case was brought to hurt his efforts to regain the presidency, another piece of the “witch hunt” that he claims the “deep state” is conducting against him.

He repeated those claims Friday during a brief news conference. “It’s not even a crime,” he said. “It’s very unfair that we have this judge who hates Trump.” It’s unclear precisely how long the trial will last or even how many days it will take to seat a jury, although estimates suggest it could stretch into June. Merchan, in an April 8 letter to prosecutors and defense lawyers, noted the logistical challenges involved in trying a former president and presumptive major party nominee who travels with a substantial Secret Service detail. “In a case where security concerns are implicated every time anyone enters or exits the courtroom, or mingles around the corridors, moving the entire jury panel is no simple task,” Merchan wrote.

Bragg’s filing accompanying the indictment lays out the plan Trump and his ally David Pecker, publisher of the National Enquirer, developed to “catch and kill” stories that could hurt Trump’s presidential campaign. The scheme also involved paying off a doorman at a Trump building, who claimed Trump had a fathered a child outside his marriages, as well as a Playboy model, Karen McDougal, who also claimed she’d had an affair with Trump in 2006 and 2007. Neither of those payments, though, were made by Cohen, and the actual indictment only involves Trump’s reimbursements to him.

To what extent Trump’s successful pre-election silencing of Daniels, whose real name is Stephanie Clifford, played a role in his narrow 2016 win is unclear. Trump lost the national popular vote by 2.9 million ballots but won Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania by a combined 77,744 votes, which gave him a healthy Electoral College victory. After watching his poll numbers crater after the Oct. 7, 2016, release of the “Access Hollywood” tape, in which he bragged that his celebrity allowed him to grab women by the genitals, Trump slowly recovered over the coming weeks as Russia’s spy agencies and their ally, Julian Assange, on a near daily basis released stolen emails designed to hurt Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton.

[...]

Whether it would have cost Trump the election, of course, does not matter in terms of his criminal trial. Prosecutors must only prove that Trump had Cohen make the payment to Daniels for the purpose of influencing the election and that he subsequently created fake business records to disguise the purpose of the reimbursements.

“I think the case is strong as a matter of both evidence and New York law,” said Norm Eisen, a White House lawyer under former President Barack Obama who recently published a book about the New York prosecution. “If Bragg proves that theory of the case, and I think he will, he will establish this was no minor hush-money peccadillo but a serious democracy crime.” Trump faces three other felony criminal prosecutions ― two of them based on his attempt to remain in power despite having lost reelection in 2020. A federal indictment could go to trial as early as late August, depending on the timing of a U.S. Supreme Court ruling on his claim that he is immune from prosecution. A Georgia state prosecution based on his attempt to overturn his election loss in that state could also start later this year. An unrelated second federal prosecution based on his refusal to turn over secret documents he took with him from the White House to his South Florida country club has not yet been set for trial.

Today is the first day of Donald Trump's first criminal trial in New York v. Trump to determine whether the hush money payments to Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal made by Donald Trump to falsify business records in order to influence the 2016 elections leads to convictions for Trump.

If Trump is convicted on even one charge, he'll be forever known as Convicted Felon Donald Trump, and that would hurt him at the polls come election day because people who are hesitant on voting Joe Biden again but don't like DJT likely won't vote for a convicted felon to lead the nation.

See Also:

HuffPost: Trump’s Hush Money Trial: What To Expect

The Guardian: Donald Trump’s hush-money trial: a timeline of the case

[according2thelore]

keep goinngggggggg!!! just sitting here reading your snippets of the early and late season interactions and loving the goodness. ty for sharing bc the brainstorming sessions are amazing.

hi!!!!!

AGH! i'm so glad you've been enjoying! :) i wrote a little snippet, i hope you enjoy~!

sam scowls at the mirror. yeah, this is definitely not his shirt. it looks like something he would wear, but the sleeves are way too big, and the shirt drapes off of his torso like a kid playing dress-up in dad's closet.

sam picks at the fabric, suddenly too annoyed for words. it's his, isn't it? figures they'd both have the same taste in clothes. at least one thing in this goddamn world isn't unrecognizable.

sam shucks the shirt over his head, quickly grabbing another shirt from the pile--one of dean's old shirts, a faded metallica tee--and pulling it on.

he opens the door to the bedroom, and looks up and down the labyrinthian hallway. did every single one have to look identical? sam tries to remember what older dean had told him the night before.

(okay, so from your bedroom, it's a left, left, then right to the kitchen. two wrongs make a right. i'll be there if i'm not in the garage most days, probably. in case you were wondering. from here to the library, it's a right, left, then two rights. if you see a death ray, you've gone too far.

a death ray? sam interrupted, sharply. the older version of his brother waved his hand, and made a pshaw noise.

it's not actually a death ray. just looks like one. picture a death ray in your head? that's what it looks like. big ugly thing, probably gave scooby a headache in his day.)

sam takes a right, left, then two rights. sure enough, sam is sitting at the table in the library. well, 'sammy.'

after the fifth time of dean--sam's dean, the 2006 one--said "sam?" in a frantic tone, and both sams jumped up to calm him down, they had to come up with a system.

the older dean immediately pointed at 2006 sam and said, "sammy." with a happy smile. sam protested a-fucking-lot. sammy was for a fat little kid with a pinwheel hat. sam was sam. the older version of sam sighed heavily, like sam even being here was beleaguering.

"i can be sammy," he said, "even though i'm thirty-six. he's not going to agree to it." he nodded at sam like he knew him at all, and sam still kind of hates him for it. he didn't hate the guy at first--i mean, come on, a chance to meet his future self--untapped potential! sam had so many questions. but so far...sammy's been a disappointment.

"hey," sam calls now, and sammy's head pops up over his research.

sammy checks his watch, "shift change already?"

they had been doing research in shifts on how to take 2006 sam and dean back, to no result yet. sam shakes his head, and holds up the offending shirt.

"no, mixed laundry." he tosses it at sammy, who catches it with a fluid movement. sam eyes sammy with a wary eye.

how did they get so good at everything? sam feels unfairly trapped in the "before" picture of a healthcare ad.

"oh," sammy says, folding the shirt with his massive bear-paw hands. "sorry about that."

"anything?" sam asks, nodding at the books. sammy shrugs, rubbing a hand at his temple.

"not yet--" he starts, but someone knocks at the doorframe.

both sams turn to look. dean--sam's dean--is standing there awkwardly, shuffling on his feet.

"what's going on in here?" dean asks, hesitant. his arms cross over his chest, and his words sound like, what did you do, sam? what did you say this time?

sam doesn't know when dean--his dean--stopped being on his side, but he hates him for it. sam looks back at his older self. dean's so defensive over him, even though the guy can clearly take care of himself. older sam tucks a strand behind his ear and also crosses his arms, two huge barrels on either side like a goddamn white water raft or something. he looks only amused, a soft look on his face like he's observing two puppies trip over a ball.

sam hates that, too. that sammy always acts like he knows exactly what's going on in sam's head--every ugly, hideous thing. and worse, he's all condescending about it--holier than thou about it. i know what you're thinking, and it's cute. your animosity is as adorable and non-threatening as a puppy nibbling on my ankle. sam scowls.

sammy's eyes slide over sam's shoulder, to dean. sam tries to straighten his spine so sammy can't see over him, but sammy's smile is just as soft and knowing.

sam looks behind him, helpless to it. dean is flushed, eyes firmly on a bookshelf in the corner like he's leaning on the doorway for no reason at all, like he just happened to be there and forgot they were in the room.

that might be the absolutely worst goddamn thing about this whole situation.

"not a damn thing." he says, but he means, where did you go, dean? why do you love this guy so much? how the fuck am i supposed to be this golden-idol-version of myself to you?

sam wants to turn around and tell himself (god, he'd never get used to that), stay away from him. he's not yours. back the fuck off.

but he won't. and he doesn't. he shoulders past dean, feels the heat of his skin, and back into the hallway.

older dean is probably around here somewhere. sam looks up and down the empty hallway. kitchen. definitely kitchen. guy makes a mean burger. that's the only reason sam's seeking him out right now.

the only reason at all.

anywhoooo...hope you enjoyed! :)

-lizzy

[e-dubbc11]

Song Lyric Prompt with Billy Russo

“Irreplaceable” By Beyoncé 2006

[Chorus]

You must not know 'bout me

You must not know 'bout me

I could have another you in a minute

Matter of fact, he'll be here in a minute, baby

You must not know 'bout me

You must not know 'bout me

I can have another you by tomorrow

So don't you ever for a second get to thinking

You're irreplaceable

This song made me think of Billy. As much as I love how you write Billy 😍, he is canonically a F-Boy. 🤣

I’m not gonna lie, this was really difficult for me but thank you for pushing me out of my comfort zone, I do need that once in awhile, so I appreciate you. So this isn’t EXACTLY what you probably had in mind because I kinda made the reader a bit of an asshole, an “I don’t give a fuck” kinda girl. She’s a self made HBIC.

Irreplaceable

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.

Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader

Warnings: couple of swear words, reader is kind of a player, herself but she’s a little soft as well. Mention of oral sex.

Word Count: little less than 1K

Summary: Reader knows she’s being played but she knows how to play that game too

A/N: I am so old, like I knew what an F-boy was but back when I was young (when dinosaurs roamed the earth) we just called them players so this is a little different than what was asked but I hope you like it anyway!

As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕

He wasn’t what you expected him to be like…in bed.

You expected him to be selfish, to only care about himself and his needs but that wasn’t the case. He took care of you and your needs first.

Taking you out for a nice dinner, drinks afterwards, and even a little dancing. That was the start of his foreplay, he turned on his charm and flashed that perfect smile at you but you’ve seen it before. You knew his type, very well. He wasn’t the first guy in a fancy suit to get in your pants and he wouldn’t be the last.

There was something about maintaining a relationship that you just couldn’t seem to get a handle on, not that you didn’t eventually want one because you did. But it was easy to drive them away, you were ALWAYS working.

Owning and running your law firm was exhausting but it’s something you’ve wanted since you were young. Your mother had a picture of you when you were about 12 years old, wearing a Harvard sweatshirt, and even at that age you knew you wanted to be a lawyer.

And now you were the top defense attorney in the city and Billy Russo wasn’t the only one with a penthouse. You had one of your own.

You knew you weren’t the only woman he was using his charms on but you let him do it anyway. Why should he get to have all the fun? He should have a taste of his own medicine. Billy thought you were naïve enough to think you were the only woman he was seeing but also didn’t think you were seeing anyone else.

Always getting what you wanted was in your nature, it was in your DNA. You were a woman of status, high class, and appreciated the finer things in life because you worked your ass off for them. A glass of good bourbon after dinner, high end clothes, designer bags and shoes…all bought and paid for by you. What could a man give you that you couldn’t get for yourself?

Nothing.

Sure, the sex was good but you could do that by yourself too. That’s why they make toys. But you preferred sparring with a partner and Billy was good for that. He was really good.

Those long slender fingers of his could make you see stars every time and he could teach a class on how to properly go down on a woman because that tongue of his was a gift.

Letting him think that he was the only one that could do that to you was fun for you though, only because you knew he was using his “skills” elsewhere, not caring who he hurt in the process.

You never accepted a first offer at work or while you play so not asking “how high” every time Billy told you to “jump” was something he wasn’t used to. You didn’t always make yourself available to him every time he wanted to see you.

Why should you?

If you weren’t available, he’d just call someone that was.

“Can’t tonight, handsome. Gotta get some things done.”

But you knew he would continue to check up on you, in case you finished your work early enough for him to take you out for a drink to unwind.

Sometimes you’d let him, sometimes you wouldn’t even though you were finished with your work for the day. But you did really like him.

And one day after many months of casual play, he felt the need to come clean.

“You aren’t the only woman I’ve been seeing, y/n.” He said in a serious tone.

Never breaking eye contact, you sarcastically replied. “You think I don’t know that, Billy? How dumb do you think I am? You’re Billy fuckin’ Russo, handsome playboy CEO. You need a different woman for the different moods you’re in, right?” You said with a furrowed brow.

His jaw dropped and he was speechless.

When he finally was able to string words together, he said, “Well I just thought that we were having a good time together so—“

You cut him off. “Yes, we have been having a lot of fun. I do really like you, but I know who you are Billy Russo because I’ve dated many like you, at least they didn’t try to hide it from me! You think you’re the only man I’m seeing? I gotta lawyer over in Hell’s Kitchen that gives a good tongue fucking too, ya know.”

You put on your coat and picked up your purse. Billy almost looked ashamed like he was sorry, and he didn’t know what to say to you. All he could manage was to gaze at you with his endless brown eyes and run his fingers through his ebony colored hair.

“I do really like you, Billy. More than I’ve liked anyone in a long time but you decided to play with fire so I don’t know why you’re surprised you got burned.” You said, your voice dripping with disdain.

He tried to explain. “Baby, I really need to tell you something.”

But you didn’t want to listen. “Goodbye Billy.”

You walked out of his penthouse and left him sitting on the couch wondering what the fuck just happened. He felt guilty, probably for the first time in his life, for not being honest with you.

He tried not to, he never did this but Billy developed feelings for you and what he wanted to tell you was the reason that he came clean about the other women was because he didn’t want to see anyone else anymore.

He only wanted to see you.

But he blew it, you were gone, and he wondered if you were ever going to speak to him again.

Like you, Billy Russo is also a person that knows what he wants and he wanted you so he didn’t care how long it was going to take, he was determined to make you his…whatever it takes.

More than anything, he desired to be…irreplaceable.

Tag List: @mindidjarin @saintmurd0ck @wheresthesunshinesblog @rafaelakelley @idaoftheburningmind @snowkestrel @xdervyxccgh @mattmurdocksscars @fakehappy27 @music-indie-tv @fictional-hooman @kayhi808 @munsonownsmyass @gijos @celestialams @idek-what-to-put @anastasianeedstoread @ratsys @k-marzolf @nutmeg17 @rosaleenablack @vaguekayla @qu1etwolf @danzer8705

Others that may enjoy: @itwasthereaminuteago @fluffyprettykitty @jvanilly @russosafehaven @mrsbillyrusso @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend

If you’d like to be added to (or removed from) my tag list for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕💕💕 If I tagged you but didn’t want to be, just let me know and I’ll never do it again