#though that’s the problem idk where Drake would learn to use it

[stormcried]

Apart of me wants to have Drake be able to do healing water abilities that can essentially coax the wound and soften it. Idk why but playing Smite as Yemoja really makes me think he could eventually one day do that.

[fallout--alley--youth--zone]

I have a doc dedicated to a "Taegan Smith dies five years later and Caine is raised with Sam" au but I dont think I'll ever write it so here's some excerpts of it.

Personalities can grow and change over time and are impacted by our environment, but they are also inherent to some degree. My personal headcanons are that Caine became so manipulative bc of his upbringing- basically raised in an environment where weakness would be used against him and he couldn't just ask for help, he learned to get it other ways. That, mixed with good 'ol rich white boy entitlement, selfishness, and maybe ASPD/NPD turned him into the boy we see in the Gone series.

(Side note: ASPD and NPD are real and heavily stigmatized disorders that often stem from childhood trauma and are comorbid with anxiety and depression. People with these disorders can and do live fulfilling lives, show compassion and kindness, etc. Headcanoning villainous characters with these disorders or writing people with these disorders as evil is just as bad as writing any other minority/mental illness that way. While some of them can be awful, the vast majority are just people trying to live their lives.)

So in a world where Caine is raised side-by-side with Sam, he's still a dick. Not evil, just a selfish asshole.

His name is still Caine bc he's trans in this AU 💕

And he still has mommy issues! He either overheard his mom calling him evil/talking about adoption or found out another way. Take your pick.

That being said, he and Sam do have a light-heartedly antagonistic relationship that absolutely SIMMERS with jealousy and tension under the surface.

In this AU, Sam burns Tom's finger/misses and melts the knife or something, and Caine takes the fall for him. Blah blah blah Caine gets sent to Coates.

At Coates, things go mostly according to canon, though here Caine relies more-so on his telekinesis and book smarts than his charisma to get ahead. He's not a bully in the sense that he beats people up in the halls but he doesn't go out of his way to stop it bc he's a coward with a crush on Diana, who also lowkey encourages bullying.

He hosts "training sessions" for the other freaks. He's not, uh, friends with Drake exactly, but they hang around each other?? Caine tolerates him bc he's useful, Drake stays around to keep an eye on the freaks. This strains Caine's relationships with the other freaks and especially Dekka.

When the FAYZ happens and Drake suggests they cement the freaks, Caine considers it for .5 seconds then snaps to his senses and is like "no wtf?".

Little does he know Drake is smarter than he looks and knocks his ass out before Caine can even lifts his hands. There's a huge fight and long story short Drake runs into the night with his tail between his legs, where he'll continue to cause problems for the rest of the series.

The one who saved Caine is Dekka, because there WILL be a Caine & Dekka friendship in this au.

The Coates Squad(TM) is now Dekka, Caine, and Diana. Caine and Dekka don't even like each other, but the other freaks listen to Dekka and the non-freaks listen to Caine, so.

They come to PB in cars a day or two earlier than in canon but Caine doesn't make a big speech. Instead he and Dekka talk to Sam, who picks out and gathers the "PB leaders".

THEN he makes his speech. (Don't worry Dekka is in the background rolling her eyes the entire time.)

Idk what happens next.

But there is this note in the doc: "Caine uses his telekinesis to throw Sam in the ocean and play with the littles."

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Nicole's Rambling: The Avengers Problem (for PS4)

Let's start with the usual chanting: ❗this is my opinion, it's biased as hell (since I grew up with Marvel comic books and movies) and you don't have to agree❗

I was wondering why Avengers game gets so hated... So I took a look and I played it myself. Let’s have a look.

SPOILERS AHEAD

First off: the game isn't in any way horribly bad. It's just a button smasher with a story that has its good and bad beats. It's not memorable at all, but it could've gone way more downhill in my opinion.

At the start of the game, you meet the mighty Avengers through child fan's eyes - it's pure fanservice and let's be honest, it's dope. It was sweet, but pretty dragged, to be honest. I really didn't need to play as all five Avengers (HAWKEYE IS MISSING, AGAIN) in the first hour of the game, but sure, why not?

For the most part, you see the squad through Kamala Khan's eyes. For those who might have not a clue who the hell Kamala is; I am not wondering about why you don't know who the hell she is. She's a Marvel heroine who outed in 2013 and who will have her own spinoff on Disney+.

And again, Ms Marvel is fine, but not memorable at all. I've never, until this day, met anyone who would say that 'Ms Marvel is my favourite superhero'. I was halfway through the game before I even realized it's Ms Marvel - AFTER SHE PULLED HER DAMN COSTUME OUT. That can be due to my utter ignorance or because I heard of her so little that I can count it on my fingers. In all honesty, I loved Kamala as the story progressed, the gal's not bad at all - but as the whole game, she had good and bad beats. There were times where I wished to play as Iron Man and the game forced me to play as her... Whatever.

Let's look at the three problems I have with this game and three positives I found in the game:

0. (Technically zero since it's a personal problem of mine) The soundtrack and the voice actors:

By any means, I am not trying to say they should hire RDJ for the role of Iron Man and Mark Ruffalo for the role of Banner... But it was so hard to distinguish the voice of Nolan North (For example: Nathan Drake x Iron Man) and Troy Baker (Samuel Drake x Bruce Banner). For me, as for a PS4 gamer, it's annoying to hear the same voices again and again in every game I am genuinely excited about (Idk how Xbox players are familiar with them). Of course, there's even Laura Bailey as the Black Widow; I feel like these are the three only people who do voice acting for games these days and sure, I should've seen that coming.

Side note: Nolan North is not a good fit for Iron Man in the slightest in my opinion, but if you like his Iron Man, that's cool as well!

The soundtrack... M A N, the soundtrack. When I heard Marvel gave a green light to the Avengers game, I expected to hear at least the iconic Alan Silvestri's 'The Avengers'. Problem with this is simple: Marvel had spoiled its consumers with good and memorable soundtracks (don't you tell me you don't remember as they all gathered for the first time). Since it was Marvel itself who gave the green light for this project, which was supposed to be based loosely on the movies' and comic book success, I hoped to get all of it.

It's not Iron Man when AC/DC song isn't playing in the background as he flies through a canyon for his life. I mean, Iron Maiden are fine; but come on. COME ON. It's not the same. It's not the Avengers (WITHOUT HAWKEYE) without their significant theme.

1. IT. BUGS. ALL. THE. TIME and the combat is incredibly repetitive:

When I was little, I was a rage gamer. I could barely play Crash Bandicoot or Rayman without losing my cool. Since then, I grew up, skilled and etc. I try not to rage when playing games since it's simply not worth it.

But when you're replaying a boring mission for the tenth part and you're almost over and SUDDENLY, the game bugs out and you lose control over the character (it starts running in circles, etc.) it sucks shit. And don't let me start on the minor bugs. Like when you don't cross the platform by one pixel and the game doesn't let you make combos when you're in the air and bug into a tree when you bug into a wall, a rock, fucking nothing... Bruh. It was released in August, shouldn't these bugs be fixed by now? The game is fucking broken, hoes. It barely feels like a game ready to launch at times.

When you're so lucky that you don't bug out in the middle of doing something, the combat... It isn't bad. It's not terrible, but the Avengers deserved something better. It didn't deserve mediocre combat that repeats itself in every level. Once you find yourself good combo, you're done for. You can use it to finish the game if you will.

2. There's too many missions, too much information and too much things player has to understand if he wants to play the game properly:

Okay, this might seem to be a little confusing; I didn't understand the game system at all when I first ran it on my PS4. There's story missions, HARM training sessions, daily missions for particular heroes, faction missions (SHIELD, Pym, Stark, etc.) and character-side-story missions, and a lot more.

Trust me, it doesn't sound that hard, but once you open the map menu for yourself... Oh boy, that's a different story. And if it only was the map menu. The inventory and such aren't too collected all together either. Before you can safely tell what is what, it will take you at least a whole afternoon. Also, the fact that game just spills it on you just like that, one thing after another, it doesn't help the overall feel.

On top of that, there are MULTIPLE currencies in the game; some even involve microtransaction. It mostly is involving the customization of the Avengers, so it's not THAT big of a deal; you can get one currency by collecting boxes and stuff, but it takes ages before you can buy one single thingy.

Also, if you would like to get stuff (very useful stuff) from factions (SHIELD and Pym mainly), you have to do in-factions daily quests, which usually require to do a certain amount of things as a particular hero (you can do some quests with Ms Marvel only, some with Black Widow, it usually involves the damage dealt while playing as a character etc.). And if you forget to fetch these minies? Well, no faction points for you, bucko.

The system feels overall too complicated in the begging and even after finishing the game, I am not certain by some.

3. The gameplay of the one and only... Natasha Romanov, and the entirety of Steve Rogers:

Right off the bat: IT. SUCKS. SHIT.

This was your shot in opening our mouths and showing why Black Widow BELONGS to the Avengers in the first place. Like, sure, storywise you proved the point, but gameplaywise... That's a different story.

Out of the bunch, Natasha feels the slowest, most clumsy and overall not too pleasant to play as. Mainly is because her attacks do... Nothing. The gun reloading is basically constant when I have to put it simply and it takes about 3-5 seconds for her to even reload; which can be a matter of life and death inside the game. Sure, she can make herself invisible; but that's like... It. It's not that it would be suffering when you are forced to play as Nat... But not a pleasant experience either.

On the other hand, maybe it's just me. I have friends who told me the same about her gameplay, but maybe there's someone who enjoys the Black Widow. It's my personal with the entirety of the gameplay.

Steve, on the other hand, isn't hard to play as. It's just fucking boring. At the start of the game, I couldn't wait to play as Steve's character. He seemed to be awesome - Jesus fuck, how could I be so wrong? As I said, he's incredibly boring and dry, his skills would do the same amount of work if they even weren't there. I think that Rogers is there just for the shock value (as a value that doesn't even work in the slightest) and nothing more.

As you learn to do the tricks and combos with them, it gets slightly better and skill tree and equipment upgrades can help almost unnoticeable... But really, Steve and Natasha are the absolute worst.

Now the reasons why the game convinced me it isn't a hot mess as I initially thought:

1. The characters, dynamics, chemistry and the overall story:

Sure, it is mainly a basic plotline, a cookie-cutter one, full of cliché - Avengers have to regroup after a traumatic event and you're the one who has to find them and bring them together.

Yet it is quite interesting; the game leads you to believe that Steve Rogers is dead after an event called the 'A-Day' (which you won't believe even if the game does the hardest to make you to, constantly remaining you that 'Oh boy, Cap died, did you know that?') and the Avengers had left to exile because they were considered as big bad for the people and the country. They have their emotional baggage and the banter between Banner and Stark (though it ends too soon), is just the thing that makes them human and relatable.

Even the villains are quite compelling; not like ultra super convincing, but the game can turn around when you least expect it to; which is definitely a huge plus.

The characters were done GOOD. The dialogues are full of personality and jokes you'd expect from each one of them; Banner is a wallflower cutie, Tony fishes for compliments all the time, Natasha is the big independent woman she always was and Thor? CHEF'S KISS, I swear. It hits the Shakespearean vibe perfectly and at the same time, he still is charming and quite funny to hang around.

Every time you can listen to a chit-chat between two characters, it is a great pleasure for you as a Marvel fan. Also, I need to say that regardless of my personal issue with the dub (regarding Tony and Bruce; since they're the people you spend most of your time with), the dialogues for these two characters are on point without a doubt. And I kinda grew fond of the in-game Bruce Banner throughout the course of the game, to be honest.

There are references, jokes, inside jokes, one-liners... The dialogue was done amazingly and that's a huge   T H A N K   Y O U  to the developers.

2. The mind-blowing gameplay of... Tony Stark and Thor and AI, while not being too bright, getting stronger as you do:

In what the Natasha gameplay lacks, these two give you exactly what would you expect and way, way more than you'd ask for. Again, it mainly reflects the personal gameplay preferences of the player; let me tell you why I think these gameplays are, in my opinion, the best.

a) Tony's gadgets and weaponry: The suit itself is bloody brilliant. Once you master the ability to attack and fly at the same time, you have the moments when you can not only feel like Iron Man - but really be Iron Man. It's not even that your gameplay would suddenly become 10x easier; it significantly becomes funnier.

b) Thor's heavy fist-to-fist and Mjolnir preferences: the Mjolnir is bloody brilliant as well. Thor's combat is mainly physically based, but when you want to throw the hammer around like the madman you are, you can suit yourself. You can use the lightning if you please and you can fly if this style of combat suits you. It's all in your hands. Thor can take quite a bit of damage, which is significantly supporting you in this style. If you accidentally drop Mjolnir? Well, call it back and smash them!

Also, regarding the AI... As I said, they're certainly not the brightest sparks in the flame; yet thanks to the power getting bigger as you level up and continue with your story and a huge variety of enemies - from turrets to flying men with flamethrowers. It is just button smasher, but a pleasing one in this regard, I must say.

3. The fanservice to comic book fans, movie fans and loyalty to the property:

As one IGN review once said... "This game makes you feel like Batman." And this game more or less accomplished it as well, but diluted and stripped down. Of course, in no way I can compare this to the masterpiece to the Arkham saga; these games are brilliant.

But there are moments when the game can just drag you inside the story and tell you: "You're Iron Man now, boss. It's in your hands." And it's there. I think the only issue was that the team of devs just took too big of a bite. I wouldn't mind stand-alone titles emerging into one and big Avengers game. That would be fun as well and I would spend my time with it gladly.

To end it: it's a mess, but a good mess you might like. If I was to rate it, would be 5.1/10 Wait until it is on sale, don't rush it. I'm overall disappointed and I most likely will forget I have ever played it.

[outrunningthedark]

when dele split from his old agent i was and am still supportive of that decision if that was what's best for him but it's also ironic that up until late 2017 when that contract ended that was when dele had the most freedom on social media and commercial commitments seemed more relaxed. obvs the situations are different and dele has always been the bigger star but winks has segal as his agent and he never seems burdened with that commercial pressure. ads are fine but it's the cash cow element

Hey, nonnie!  Truthfully, I can’t knock Dele for his decision to appoint his “brother” in charge of his image/career, that’s never what my criticism focuses on. If we’re being realistic, had he stuck with his previous agent, we’d *probably* be looking at a much different situation as far as his participation is concerned. With Harry running the show, Dele still has the ability to veto suggestions/stunts because besides feeling comfortable enough to fight his own family (he admitted in one of his otro videos last year that they often clash), well...he hired him and he could just as easily toss him to the side. Harry knows this. I don’t think Dele would ever actually go that far (yet), but it’s best that his buttons don’t get pushed. Not only does it make him resist even more, but Eric as well. While Dele is spending the tail end of his break in Mykonos acting like a hetero, Eric’s making it awfully clear there is no woman in his life. Fans were soooo convinced we were finally gonna see him living it up with the socialite and she’s got her own shit going on at the moment. Ibiza girls get those tatts and quickly learned they messed with the wrong dude(s). Have we seen the tatts since? Nope.  My “issues” with Harry/anyone involved stem from the fact that they are very much OTHER ways around this. He/TPTB are SO concerned that Dele’s gonna idk, give himself up, that he can’t NOT be attached to a woman, even though it’s clearly draining him in every way. Why can’t Dele “focus on his career” and be publicly single for a time? Even when D/R “split”, she wasn’t ever out of the picture. He went to her family home in Leicester to drop off...a hat? Some sneakers? (Something like that. It was a pap meeting.) She goes with her friends to the Drake concert and just so happens to be sat in his same VIP area? Where a fan reported he looked bored af and kept checking his phone? Then she’s back for CL and the shit show that ensued? He’s not allowed to BREATHE. And, of course, there’s the whole “no one has the guts to test a glass closet” problem that could solve SO MUCH. How many fans would be able to tell the difference between a footballer going out with his partner once a week (for the public to see) and then being spotted with a lady friend? We know which one the straights would think they’re sleeping with. It’s that easy.  Big bro interrupting the live *should* confirm what most of us have felt in our gut - he doesn’t trust either of them. It’s better for him if they pretend not to be friends. He doesn’t have to worry so much. He doesn’t have to WORK so hard. (As if this opportunity didn’t fall into his lap. He couldn’t make it as a pro, but he knows someone who did...)

[lizzybeth1986]

Quick Thoughts on TRH Book 1, Chapter 3

• I'm hoping that if I have this chapter out early enough (doubtful, because compiling and organizing my screenshots takes time, and my drafts often don't save which means there are times I will have to replicate whole paragraphs from scratch. But fingers crossed!), I might try and do revisits of the first book. I did four of those chapters last year, and I think now - when we're looking at some of the stories told to us in Book 1 from a new lens - is a good time to explore that first book again.

• I hope the read more issue is resolved by now. It made posting quite hard the last time. In the meantime these are the tags you can block: #long post, #trh quick thoughts, #trh qts, #trh qt reblogs.

• Thanks a lot to @pixieferry for her Hana playthrough, @thefirstcourtesan for her Drake playthrough screenshots and the Abhirio YouTube channel for the Maxwell playthrough screenshots. Not much of those are up, because of lack of space to put up the pictures and the fact that this particular chapter wasn't specifically LI centric.

• Title: Your Kingdom Awaits.

Alternative Title: Tell Me What's Gestating in My Womb Today, Cordonia! A Cordonian Ruby? An Autumn Glory? A Granny Smith?

• Three chapters in and I'm getting more and more baffled by this story by the day. There's stuff I like. Some of the characters I still love. I have fun looking at the little hints, the bits of symbolism, the callbacks. I love theorizing what we'll be doing next! But all of this needs to be glued together by a coherent storyline and this just isn't it.

• Even if we push aside the gross inequalities in balance (re: character development), there's still so much that just doesn't make sense. Why is there so much rush. Why is everyone in this country (and outside) so invasive and entitled over this one noble's child? Why are we doing such insane scales of prep over a process that is in itself is so unpredictable? Why am I learning about Cordonia's allies/potential enemies in such a vague and shoddy fashion? And most of all what kind of bullshit Royal Council is this???

• But I'll elaborate on all those questions later. For now let's move on to the chapter!

• If you didn't buy the corgi in Book 2, they ask you if you'd like to buy it now at the beginning of the chapter. Possibly that may affect the entry of the second corgi in some way? Idk. 

• Esther, the Queen of Cordonia is also still the queen of winging it. You'd think they'd have planned a look for her (esp given the amount of time they could spend on the train) and gotten her ready by the time they reached there, not scrambled around for an outfit the minute they reached Valtoria.

• The LI tells the MC that they're fixed an appointment with the best obstetrician they could find, and we will be going there to ask our preliminary questions plus get a check up. I was wondering if in Hana's case they would be going to a fertility specialist instead.

• In any case, Bertrand volunteers to help us with an outfit for the last time in a short while, because he's traveling to Texas to prepare for their wedding. (we're going there too, but later. I'm not looking forward to another round of Savannah-worship - possibly with an added side of Bianca-worship - no thank you).

• Bianca's ranch is called the Walker Ranch, after Jackson's last name. Why Jackson's?

• Our OOTD!

Electric blue with a gold belt and a black and white border on the neckline, accessorized with a necklace (I think it's pearls set in gold?) and a brooch pin in the shape of a crown.

I kinda like this one and knowing the way this team operates when it comes to outfits most of the time, I'm pretty sure the colour scheme was chosen on purpose. With this outfit, the MC is presenting herself in the national colours, with a tiny signifier of what her future role might be. Either as Queen or as mother of the future heir to the Crown. This is an outfit that would send a message during Liam's announcement, whether she is (symbolically) wearing that crown or not.

• I'm obviously not very comfortable with the implications that would go with that outfit (esp if she is not the Queen), but I can't deny it does its job.

• The MC can opt to go for either being poised, acting like a diva or being very casual in her approach. Whatever she does the crowd pretty much worships her.

•

So everyone except Liam has someone (media, a fan, common people) approaching them as a way of showing how famous and revered the entire group has become in Cordonia. Liam doesn't need one coz he's anyway getting his moment with his big speech in front of the Valtoria manor.

Drake - Donnie Brine from the CBC speaks to Drake, positioning him as a man of the masses, the person that the Cordonian people see as their representative. Drake is woefully unprepared and freezes, blurting out that "things are great" which probably might end up becoming a meme on Cordonian internet later. Random Cordonian Woman from Applewood saves him by confirming this statement even though her trees have yet to grow and the tax problems are pretty much making her life "not great".

Maxwell - Where are Jiro and Camellia from Applewood? I like little Marco and Valerie but I hope they're not the only kids PB is going to be showing every time they need to show children. Marco approaches Maxwell and the MC both to sign his copy of Maxwell's book, and Maxwell takes care to do a dramatic signature that will not "obscure the picture of his face". I'm giggling at that image.

Hana - Valerie approaches Hana with a handmade flower necklace, presumably with a pattern made from "the Lee family crest". Now either Lorelai's family in Cordonia have the same surname as Xinghai, or Xinghai got himself a house crest for some reason. Either way, to toss out a detail like that so casually (a family crest is something that passes down through generations, esp in noble families) without even thinking of the logistics of it...(when an entire book of yours has been dedicated to sigils and crests) is pretty lazy.

BUT. In good news this means that my longtime speculation that Hana's mother's house had flowers as part of their court of arms is correct! (I was also right about a couple other things, like Maxwell's ancestors and Liam's mother being alive when Olivia was brought to the palace. YAY! 😁)

• We now move on to Liam's public announcement. Which sounds kinda weird whichever way you look at it. A married Liam announces that he and his wife are on a mission to enjoy babymaking and a single Liam announces this:

(Screenshots from a Hana playthrough by @pixieferry)

I will translate what both Liams are saying into Cordonian:

Married Liam: We don't have an apple cinnamon bun in the oven yet, but we're definitely having fun kneading that dough nudge nudge wink wink.

Single Liam: I'm neither making apple buns nor kneading dough. I'll leave that to my friends the bun-making experts here. I'm just gonna park my butt outside the oven door along with the rest of Cordonia.

Sounds weird? You're welcome. It was meant to sound weird.

• Esther finally reunites with her corgi Joy! I wonder if at some point she'll meet up with her horse Celestia and red pandas Hansel and Gretel too xD

• Mara tells me safety checks have been done, but...it's Mara saying that, so I'm not sure I'm quite convinced. The alternative is Bastien, so...we're kinda screwed I guess.

• The group then discusses the future foetus, and Liam takes this opportunity to hint at their childhood history. You know what that means? DIAMOND SCENE!!

•

(Screenshots for Asian Liam from my playthrough, Black Liam from @pixieferry and White Liam from @thefirstcourtesan)

LOOK AT THE WEE LITTLE KIDDIES AND LIAM'S MOM OMG AAAAAA.

As far as I can tell, among the kids the sprites for all three Liams and Drake are very much new, and the rest come from variations and changes to different faces. Maxwell's face is a copy of Simon from THoBM (only the mouth is slightly different), Hana's has a lot of similarities to young Kenna in TCaTF, but with pigtails instead of tiny buns. Olivia's is a little harder to place but I think there are plenty similarities between hers and RoE Camellia's face. For Queen Eleanor they used Young Mary's (MC's mother) sprite from D&D in accordance to whichever Liam you chose. Perhaps the only Mary sprite not used here would be the brown/Indian one, because Liam's ethnicities mainly feature White, Black and Asian. She even wears Mary's opera outfit (that incidentally Mary also ended up wearing to her wedding lol).

• Somehow they forgot that Maxwell was supposed to be a cute chubby little hippo who was loved by his mother.

• I'd like for Black Liam to grow more hair on his head because the curls on his younger self are lovely 😍

• Since most of the childhood tales revolve around the experience of growing up in the palace, this build up to the diamond scene begins with the MC asking questions about each of the boys (Liam, Drake, Maxwell).

- Little Liam and His Crown: Liam claims he only wore those during state occasions, but Maxwell (who admittedly didn't see Liam as much as Drake did but saw him often nonetheless) saw him practically sleep in the thing, and Drake has pictures to prove it lol.

- Grumpy Drake: Maxwell and Liam agree on Drake becoming grumpier as he grew older, but disagree on what metaphors to use to describe it. Maxwell favours "scratchy bark on a secretly loveable tree", and Liam claims he is "whiskey maturing in its barrell". ("oh", I want to ask Drake, "so that's what they call 'old grain mash' these days?" 🤣 This is my revenge for him referring to wine as old grape juice back in Book 2). No prizes for guessing which metaphor Drake liked better.

- Banning Maxwell from Palace Rooms: Maxwell's lucky he has a king for a friend because apparently before Liam jokingly and unwisely decided to give the man a royal pardon Maxwell was banned from all the good rooms 😅

• Hana clearly hasn't lost her touch when it comes to epic savagery. "I imagined you guys like the Three Musketeers, only...less French". 😅😅

• This diamond scene is split into three parts. You have the fun 'adventures' of the little boys (and later Olivia) at the palace, split in between by a slightly more sombre tale of little Hana's loneliness. The narrative voice in all three is very much that of a child, and focuses on Liam's and Hana's imaginations, so as to make their childhood stories more real to us while still providing us background information about the country's recent history (the "recent history" bit doesn't apply to Hana, though, since she is in China at the time).

- Pirate Adventures at The Palace Courtyard: Liam, Drake and Maxwell pretend to be pirate kings, battling rivals on the palace courtyard. After rescuing Maxwell from being stuck on the branches of a tree, the trio decide to continue their adventures on the gardens that are his mother's brainchild, but are stopped by a palace guard. Liam is briefly saddened by this, but is comforted by Drake and Maxwell. The boys then decide to continue playing in the palace kitchens. This scene begins by focusing on the antics of the little ones, but is really about the changed atmosphere in the palace that the boys themselves were too young to notice at the time.

(We also find out which place in TCaTF the Beaumonts originated from, since young Maxwell refers to himself as a pirate from Panrion in both scenes that he is in *cue Lizzy looking very very smug because I've been saying the Beaumonts were from Panrion/someplace in Ebrimel since way back in Book 2*)

The MC has options to respond to this tale (either about whether they were always this naughty, or about the increased security in the palace). In response to her question about the three of them, the boys tell us that Liam was known for being a free spirit and would skip many diplomacy meetings before he even met the other two (again, Constantine, Liam was A CHILD). If you ask the question they want you to be asking, however, about the increased security in the palace, Drake and Maxwell will tell you the security wasn't as strict earlier, and Liam will explain that the royal family had recently received threats at the time, and his parents were a lot more tense and on-edge than usual. Either way, you either get to know a bit about the political atmosphere at the time, or realize that little Liam wasn't the heavily burdened one we met on that first night in New York.

- Pretend-Teatime with a Young Hana: Hana continues on this thread of conversation by focusing on the bond between the boys, commenting on how she never grew up with that kind of experience. To which Drake and Maxwell have these reactions:

@Drake, pls fall on a cactus.

@Maxwell. Honey. She said this to you yesterday. She's probably said this more than once. You've seen her parents!! Wtf kind of friend are you if you can't even take what she said seriously the first time?

@Hana pls get yourself better friends 😭

Like @callmetippytumbles said in her response to this scene, I have no patience for this kind of selective stupidity.

So Hana's scene is technically a call-back to something she once told the MC back in Book 1 Chapter 6, when they were on their way to the post-Derby tea party with Queen Regina. At the time, Hana spoke of her parents not allowing her toys because they thought them frivolous, and how she had to make do with whatever was lying around instead. We actually see this happen in reality here. We see her PoV of what her inanimate objects do, we see her practicing court etiquette on these objects with her tea set, and we see her leave space for her asshole mother even though Lorelai doesn't deserve that much respect or consideration. There is a lot to unpack in this scene and I want to do that in my General Thoughts section later on...but for now I'll just say that it broke my heart, and not just in an "oh poor Hana" way.

- The Attack from Lythikos: I love this sequence too, not only because it shows us Olivia, a younger Constantine and Liam's mother Eleanor, but because the narrative framing in itself alludes to what happened between Lythikos and the Capitol earlier through the pirate story. Liam and Olivia still speak in the language of their story, but the sequence actually plays out what happens in their real lives. Olivia attacks the pirates, but is left desolate, sword broken, at the end of it (just like her parents tried to, and died in the process - leaving an innocent Olivia alone without support). Liam offers her terms that would give her safety and protection, and in return, she asks to be Pirate Queen and for Drake's sword - which he reluctantly gives.

Constantine mistrusts Olivia and attempts to limit her natural abilities and instincts, but it is Liam's empathy, support and validation of her pain, that eventually makes her the steadfast ally that she becomes as an adult - not Constantine's paranoia. Had Liam followed Constantine's lead, the chances of Olivia falling into the trap of subscribing to her aunt's beliefs would have been much much higher, and Constantine would have found himself at the receiving end of a self-fulfilling prophecy. The narrative may also be implying how deep Eleanor's own impact on her son must be, long after her death, since the narrative frames him as adopting her way of dealing with situations often.

In any case the narrative allows us to see the children as they were before their individual tragedies changed them (except in Olivia's and Hana's cases - where they were still struggling to survive the situations they were in), and allows us to see what shaped them into the adults they are today.

The MC then gets to ask one of two questions: either why Constantine treated Olivia so badly, or about the arguments his parents were having. We learn from these that this incident was shortly after Liam became friends with her and his parents brought her to the palace (this references both Liam's conversation about Olivia to the MC in Book 1 Chapter 7, and Lucretia's complaints about Constantine "keeping Olivia hostage" in her diamond scene in Book 3).

• Possibly this may not be the only scene of its kind we will see. Possibly the next few may be Drake-centric, since we may actually meet Bianca in a few chapters. But these scenes may definitely have an impact on dialogue later, just like how learning of the assassination attempt in Drake's Italian Restaurant Scene and Eleanor's death in Liam's Fydelia Balcony Scene in Book 2 are referred to later (if bought) in the hospital scene with Constantine.

• In any case, we leave the past in the past (for now), and move towards Valtoria's throne room. Where we meet Penelope, just back from her first canine fashion show, Kiara who tells us she has everything kept under control (you always do boo 😍) and Madeleine who is all up our uterus.

• She mentions King Bradshaw from Auvernal and his "impossible to control" wife, then mentions a Queen Amalas immediately after without bothering to tell us where this person is from. WTF? At least tell me the name of her goddamn country if she's another person!! You'd just have to say Queen Amalas of ChickenFeetonia and I would understand.

• ...you're telling me the Queen of this country (in my playthrough) has barely looked at a map of the place she's ruling or checked out who rules what?? You're telling me that the Royal Communications Director is STILL going to give her a gazillion flash cards to read something that she could sum up in five minutes, at the very last minute? Bitch what have you been doing this entire time? Touching up your manicure??

•

@Penelope: No you're not.

@Kiara: STOP ENABLING HER, KIKI, AND GET YOURSELF BETTER FRIENDS.

@Madeleine: Pls fall on a cactus.

• Madeleine hasn't been here for even five minutes and already I've had enough of her entitled ass. "Little apple gestating in your womb"...just...I can't. Ugh. Get your nosy nose out of my oven!!

• Remember how I told you guys about how apple analogies may be used to denote fertility? (mostly because RoE spoke of this apple cutting ceremony and it was a very obvious indicator towards apple metaphors being used to describe pregnancy and childbirth).

• I facepalmed when Kiara agreed with her but she's also probably thinking "well see this is why they call me the smart courtier. I don't have to deal with this shit anymore and now you do" (she isn't wrong).

• WELL HELLO OLIVIA.

• She informs us that we're expected at the solarium. I have a solarium?

• Apparently it was Mara's honeymoon gift to us. More like her "sorry Bastien and I screwed up last book" gift, I'd say.

• So wait where was this roster Liam was speaking about in the last book's epilogue? I see one Cordonian noble and one Englishman who until my wedding wanted to have nothing to do with Cordonia, and who's now bleating "our country, our kingdom, we're under attack" like a panicking patriotic nanny goat.

• Why can I not see Emmeline here, who is clearly the expert on her duchy? (I mean like. Landon is nice, but I'd really like to see more women in this Council too). Also does Kiara's inclusion into the Council cancel out the presence of her father Hakim, who is a seasoned diplomat and might possibly have some really good suggestions for dealing with these foreign powers (and seriously he'd be a better option than Godfrey anyway).

• Now Esther has a suggestion! Let's see what it is...

• A royal ball, apparently. Which...given the company, I'm sure it probably would be appropriate but I'm pretty sure we'll need to have more than that in place. I'm pretty sure the people in this council should either be finding out whether the person making these suggestions knows anything about these issues or whether she is simply talking out of her ass. This was a problem last book as well. The MC rarely feels the need on her own to explore these situations more, is okay with just learning things last minute and rolling with it and has the same solution to everything. It's either tours or balls but very little actual exploration of the situation. (I mean there is even a point where she barely shows any empathy at Portavira - even though they're still reeling from a bunch of natural calamities - and thinks it's appropriate to tell them to come for her wedding anyway. No wonder Liam panicked and started giving her diplomacy lessons, stat!) I'd actually take the MC seriously if she were doing her research and her suggestions weren't so shallow and one-note.

• Hana is grinning and giving justifications like this suggestion makes sense. STOP. ENABLING. HER. HANA.

• I especially want to know what Liam's experiences with these dignitaries have been. Both last chapter and this one, I'm seeing him in a position where he is defiant and digging his heels into whatever ideas he is having, but I don't know the context yet and would like to make sense of that. From whatever I've read so far...Liam took the year following Leo's abdication to familiarize himself with taking the front seat in negotiations, and probably may have been familiar with this kind of situation and the kind of people involved even before he became Crown Prince. It makes me wonder how difficult negotiating with them has been, and I want to see why Liam is so done with these people, so fed up. We're missing some context here and I think learning at least a little more than these scraps would have been better for everyone.

• I like that they remember Kiara as the only one outside of the charmed six to get a seat in this council (Kiki deserves the best). I also liked how succintly she summed up Drake and Hana's points about what the heightened taxes are doing to the people as "a reminder that we're not just here for ourselves".

• I find the entire idea of Drake Walker being the sole commoner representative in the Council laughable, especially in a narrative where every other commoner barely has a face, hardly has a name, and almost never has a voice. A man who has spent a huge chunk of his life in a palace, and who I've hardly seen even interacting with a commoner in the story...I'm expected to believe he will have great insights on commoner issues?? Even in this meeting, it's Hana who does a better job explaining this situation (she's the one highlighting the tax issues) than he does. Then again this Council also somehow gave a seat to Duke Karlington - a man who literally never had Cordonia's best interests in mind last book, and who only ended up attending our wedding because we had to be brought in as family counselors to settle HIS family disputes (I mean lol Godfrey how can you call this wedding a disaster when it caused you to magically become so "patriotic"!)

For God's sake, I want to see other commoners on this council. I want people who are actually living these experiences highlighting their issues. This is an issue I have with the MC too. She started out a commoner herself a waitress who wouldn't even flinch at the sight of rats in a dumpster. For someone of that background and who has possibly lived under the worse circumstances than some Cordinians themselves, you'd think that she'd have questions and show interest in how the people who aren't owning lands and are regular individuals on the street live their lives, and whether things are okay for them. But she's so immersed in the world of nobility that she rarely ever even tries to come out.

• Before Liam takes into account everyone's points and comes to a conclusion, the MC has the opportunity to give them her opinion. She can either say that we can't trust anyone, which Godfrey agrees with, or that an alliance would be good for Cordonia, which Godfrey views as naive, OR (and I didn't expect to like this response but I actually do) that she's a waitress from the States, and wouldn't know all that much about this situation. To which there isn't much of a reaction as such, but that's kind of what seems different about this book compared to the others.

• Once the meeting is wrapped up, our LI and Maxwell/Hana whisper in a corner about a surprise they have in store, and take us upstairs to show us what it is. If you're marrying any of the other three, Maxwell is the one who has arranged and picked out themes and colour schemes for the nursery. If you're married to Maxwell, Hana takes over this role.

• Ooooh. New (I think!) baby music! Nice. Very lullaby-like.

• Every design has these basic components:

a crib with a pillow (which I think will be updated later)

a couch nearby, likely for comfort when the mother wants to breastfeed (the updated versions seem to have a footrest)

a table with a lamp

three empty frames (also to be updated. I'm guessing for one of those "my first hand/foot impression" kind of thing and maybe even photoshoots etc)

a ceiling lamp/chandelier

a hook, also on the ceiling.

The two updated versions have footrests, updated lamps and ceiling decorations, additional carpet and customized designs (except for the crib and the pictures and the hook, which I think will be updated later). The Royal Glam theme is all reds and golds, very luxurious and very Valtoria. The Fairytale Forest theme has more whimsy, with bears, foxes, leaves, flowers and apples on the wallpaper, wood paneling, a beautiful golden lamp. Very pretty. Both seem to reference the MC's journey in TRR: her being either a Royal and the closest thing to one, and her journey being very fairytale-like (remember, the same logic was used for Hana's "something blue" gift for the MC's - where she views her as Cinderella).

• Only problem is...who exactly buys a nursery before they have a baby! Especially considering how unpredictable pregnancy and childbirth can be.

• We now meet Dr Ramirez for an appointment. I'm not sure about her suggestion that prenatal vitamins etc they will deal with after she has conceived. I know a number of people who did pre-pregnancy appointments and vitamins and folic acid were on the top of the list of things they'd start a routine with.

• As expected, all the appointments go roughly the same, with the usual answers to the usual questions (one about sushi, another about morning sickness and a last one about potential complications). The MC and LI are in the clear, and can start preparing - but apparently shouldn't stress. LMAO. Thank you doctor, I'm sure that will be easy to do in this country 😂

• Hana's goes differently, and it's clear this doctor's visit was primarily written to address her situation with the MC. The tests go differently, the suggestions given to them are different, the questions the MC asks (one about choosing donors, when they should start, and who should carry the child). The bombshell that immediately follows this is:

Wow. Seriously. Wow. You couldn't find a more temporary reason for why the MC has to be the one conceiving? It has to be something that would make her overall ability to conceive almost impossible?? (and this we find after one test? No follow ups?) I recall someone putting up/reblogging these screenshots with a caption about how the narrative pretty much took Hana's entire ability to conceive from her, and it's so true - and so disturbing when you place it in the context of how they've dealt with her issues so far (more on this later).

• In Hana's playthrough, she struggles with implications of this news, but constantly tries to veer the focus back to "well at least one of us can is able to have this baby". Twice, she is shown moving away from her pain to ask about the other possibilities for the MC.

• Anyway...we now move to the next morning, when the couple wake up to bad news - and it's concerning the pictures taken during their honeymoon. Given that Maxwell/Hana is holding a magazine when they tell the MC they found out who was responsible...I wonder if it's one of our news outlets. Or whether it's a foreign media rep.

• So I guess this complicates things at our Ball, since we're already on thin ice and this news would have spread to those other dignitaries as well. So we're going to have to deal with whatever implications come with those pictures (perhaps a spin on the royal gang having fun while Cordonia is in a national crisis? Who knows. It would be hypocritical of Cordonians and people from other neighbouring countries to judge the couple over the babymaking that they themselves were enforcing on these two!)

• In any case...royal ball this week. And in the universe of PB's stories that usually means some shit will go down.

General Thoughts and Observations:

• The funny thing about the MC's responses now is that her heightened position now seems to allow her to get away with a lot more than she used to. Now if she gives a joke response, the media and people laugh with her rather than at her. If she is a diva, the crowd will lap it up. I'm guessing what the book is trying to imply is that these are the people she has won over and doesn't exactly need to worry about, and now the ones she will have to convince are from other, more powerful countries - ready to back Cordonia into a corner anytime.

• As you can tell by now, I absolutely loved the childhood sequences. They sounded like children, most of the narrative lines up with what was already said in the previous series, and there were some interesting narrative devices used here.

• I think the third sequence especially drives home the point about what Liam did right, even as a young boy, and what Constantine refusing to look past Olivia's lineage to see her as an individual could have cost him. Constantine's ruthlessness and lack of genuine care for his bonds/friendships (eg. Hakim) had him in a position where he was unable to relate to anyone beyond his own tiny bubble (even his own wife Regina was taking countermeasures to make the best of his horrid plan), and had him make decisions that did more harm than good. For instance, take what he did to the MC, for no fault of her own other than that he didn't think she'd be a good Queen. Not only was what he did utterly disgusting, but it also would have made his own family a subject of shame in the country (which is why Constantine practically begs her never to expose him, because then Liam would be paying the price). Imagine what would have happened if Constantine didn't agree with Liam and perhaps Eleanor, never brought Olivia to the palace, and Liam had never shown her his constant support. Liam's genuine empathy in this case pretty much ensured the safety of his own line.

• I also love the implications of that sequence. Constantine is so wrapped up in his fear that he tries to break what Olivia considers most precious (Zenobia the sword in this case, but this could allude to her parents' deaths and later, her possible marriage to Liam at his Coronation). Liam attempts to fill that gap by taking her in, caring for her, and giving her the tools to continue being the Lythikos fighter she has always been.

• There are a few TCaTF references in the palace scenes: Maxwell mentions Panrion twice, and Olivia calls her sword "Zenobia" in honour of her historical hero (she still speaks of Zenobia with something akin to worship during the Winter Festival in Lythikos).

• Olivia's dress is also modelled on Zenobia's, with the same colour and bodice embroidery. In fact most of the clothes are very similar to their adult garments: Drake still wears denim, Maxwell favours dark colours (still should have been chubby though), Liam's clothes are similar to his casual wear minus the ascot, and Hana wears pink, with flower designs on the skirt.

• What I like most are the narrative voices for both Liam and Hana, who are the ones narrating these stories, and how rooted in their imaginations the scenes themselves sound. But there are significant, heartbreaking differences in how we see their imaginations play out:

Here are a few samples of narration I've managed to save from Liam's PoV. Notice how Liam and his friends are so into their little game that they find adventure in everything? Notice the language they use to describe themselves and what they are doing? Once-defiant topiaries shaking in fear at their antics. "Liberating" chocolate tarts. "Conquering" the upper floors. These boys are playing out their dreams and showing us the kind of men they would want to be. The heroes. The victors. The ones everyone looks at with awe and reverence.

This is also not a story Liam is creating alone. Drake and Maxwell happily join in, sink into their characters and display their heroics alongside him. Olivia also joins in and holds her own, and when Liam's father tries to break her spirit, Olivia shows Liam her trust and faith in him by using the language of the game.

On the other hand, here is what the narration technique in Hana's tea scene looks like:

There is a lot to unpack here. A lot. There is perhaps more in this one scene of Hana's than there is in all of Book 3, where she was pretty much pushed to the sidelines.

We were told in Book 1 that Hana had to get creative because she wasn't allowed toys. This was told to us in a rather matter-of-fact way, by a person who was normalized in this way of life and who hadn't yet realized just wrong her upbringing was or how damaged her self of self was. It's perhaps easy to forget this bit of dialogue if you were reading it for the first time because at the end of the day it's spoken of without much gravity.

It's when you see it play out in front of you, in little Hana's voice, from an adult Hana who will now view this entire sequence very, very differently, that the tragedy of it all really hits you. At such a young age she is forced to make do with the little she has: the little she has in terms of things to play with, the little she has in terms of relationships. What the MC says after that sequence is half-right, it's sweet how Hana used her imagination in spite of her parents' rules and strict lifestyle. But what that misses is the burden experiences like that would place on a child in her earliest, more formative years. What stand out to me the most in this sequence are these:

- The most obvious: the use of a 'tea party' to teach herself etiquette and diplomacy. In the present, Hana tells the group that "a lot of what I learned about courtly negotiations, I learned from the tea table". This is the level Hana chooses to focus on after telling her tale, to soften the blow of the story itself.

- The fact that despite her mother's treatment of her, Hana still leaves space for Lorelai. Still wants to believe the best of her, still wants her involved in her life. Lorelai denies her her support and comfort, which is the initial layer to her injustices against Hana. In a lot of ways, even now - Hana is still leaving space for Lorelai, giving her chances to improve, trying to educate her on respecting her boundaries better. It's a long, exhausting process, and Lorelai doesn't deserve the many chances Hana keeps giving her, but Hana is also a person who struggles to completely cut off from the people in her life, controlling and emotionally abusive though they may be.

- At the end of the day, the objects she is giving a life and a personality to, are inanimate objects used for other purposes. Not toys, not real friends. Every last one of them. Miss Doily is kind and caring, Princess Sinckerdoodle is jealous and gives a damn about etiquette (I like how you can see allusions there to Olivia and the MC in the Bakery Ball dialogue!). But they're essentially all objects that cannot move the way her narration describes them as moving. Even dolls and toys, inanimate though they are, are made for the express purpose of allowing a child to participate in pretend play. They can be given a voice, their limbs can be moved, the child can easily turn such a space into an active space with the use of her toys. The doily, the napkin, the sock...these are things Hana will have very little actual control over. They will not be able to move the way she wants them to, do the things she wants them to. Everything has to be happening in her head and there is very little outlet for her other than the few things she has at hand (a similar example of of Hana using scraps we will also find in Book 2, where she draws whiskers on a rock to replicate a toy mouse).

Look again, at the differences in the way Liam narrates his tale and how Hana narrates hers. Liam's is also a fantasy, also uses inanimate objects. But supporting him in building this imaginary universe are his friends, and the parents who both don't stop him from immersing himself in this imaginary world, and have a safe normal (for now) life to return to when those "adventures" are over. On the other hand, Hana has to do the heavy work...in every way. She has to imagine not only the background of what is happening, but also what the objects in front of her are like, what they will do, how they will interact with her, how they will interact with each other.

If I had to replicate such a scene into film, the loneliness of this sequence would perhaps hit harder. A large, empty room. A tiny girl. A tea set and several strange items - and none of them actually move. She is sitting alone, in the dim light, in the silence, talking to these objects that will never respond so she pretends they do, just to chase away that yawning, aching feeling of not having a single friend. All she gets in return is silence. All she finds in front of her is space, and more space. The kind of space that could swallow a child in its emptiness.

And in the center, is a seat left empty. For a mother who doesn't believe her daughter is worth the time.

I think there will be very few who will appreciate the strength it takes to survive a lifetime of that, and that's sad.

• The little Hana sequence reminds me of the animated film Cinderella, particularly in how the main character uses dreams and imagination as an escape from her life of drudgery and the abuse she faces daily. Particularly the song "Sing Sweet Nightingale", where Cinderella's dull world bursts into vivid colour through the soap bubbles that emerge from the washing bucket.

It's a beautiful, soft, almost surreal little sequence...but when you strip it all down to its basics, what you're essentially seeing is a woman so abused by her family and so trapped in this life she does not deserve, that she has to grasp at straws to find joy. Or in this case, soap bubbles.

What Hana faces in her home is perhaps a little more similar to Rapunzel's situation in Tangled than Cinderella's, but there are definite similarities in the way both characters use their imaginations to soothe and comfort themselves. She is forced into a situation where her imagination - and these things that can't respond to her - are all she has, and the only ways she can keep herself safe and happy. That's way too big a burden for a child so young to bear.

• I wonder if there will be more than the memories. Perhaps documents, news clippings, research material that the MC can use to dig further into what's going on in this country. It's possible, but it's also possible that memories will entirely be how we unravel this mess. I was speaking to @thefirstcourtesan the other day and she mentioned that Bianca and Bastien would both be pretty good sources for finding out more - Bastien, after all, had a lot of respect for the second queen and was close to Jackson, and Bianca would have heard certain things from her husband or witnessed something at the very least (and if they were friends, that angle too). I probably would add Lucretia and maybe Anton (if we see them and if they cooperate), Bertrand or someone new who knew Bartamely (if we can find out more about the Beaumont house that would be lovely!), the Lees, and...Francesco? (I still haven't forgotten that Bertrand mentioned him as being a friend of Liam's mother). I also want to see what new information Olivia got from the last time she did her research on any hidden deals or laws that could endanger the kingdom. There are quite a few possibilities in terms of what we could find and how it can be presented, so I'm looking forward to that. This scene was a good start.

• Having said that, this was something they should have been addressing the previous book. If they hadn't spent so much of their focus on all the wrong things, we wouldn't have as much ground to cover as we do now. And I'm not sure they've learned their lesson enough that we will not see the same mistakes repeated this time.

• Why is the system in place to inform and update the MC on what's happening so poor this time. At least earlier, we'd have a fairly good idea of what would be happening next, even if some important stuff was done last minute. Now the explanations themselves are poorly formed and done without proper thought on whether the MC/readers might understand what's going on or not. It doesn't look good on the story, nor does it look good on those characters esp the MC. This is stuff she could have maybe gotten away with as a suitor. But now she is Duchess/Queen, and an influential figure. What looked good in her days as a suitor won't look so good on her now.

• The Royal Council could be a way forward - for the nobility and royalty-heavy narrative to something that shows us more perspectives from the people who really form the backbone of this country - the commoners who actually populate Cordonia's lands and duchies, whose hard work likely keeps the economy running. Just one Drake isn't adequate for that kind of representation - not when he very rarely addresses their issues in the first place. Please tell me there will be more in that Council because the Council as it stands is in no way an improvement on the status quo.

• I've said more than enough about how bizarre and downright OOC Liam sounds, but I do think we should not ignore the context - the fact that every single individual involved is making these demands of the MC and expecting her to save their country through her child without really checking if she has basic knowledge or other resources in place (such as information about the rulers she is meeting). That includes the LIs. It's very easy to make just a character or two a convenient scapegoat, but let's not forget that there isn't a single person in this entire narrative that is bothering to examine the implications. Not a single.

• What really got me angry...was the Hana doctor sequence. Maybe two books ago it would have just hurt - but more on the level of "it hurts to see Hana like this but I have hope for her". Hope that she would have the space to grieve something she had lost before she could ever even have it, hope that the narrative would validate her pain and encourage her healing. But I can't even hope for that anymore.

This is a very very painful, complicated situation to put a person in. And yes, sometimes those are things you want to talk about and finding out you can't have children when you've always wanted to have them is a very real, very difficult situation - and there is a lot you can explore in terms of how a person with these conditions would feel. But the thing is...Hana has already been on the receiving end of multiple tragic storylines. I have already seen enough and more of her in pain. What I'm not seeing is a good - or even adequate - payoff that validates her painful journey and allows for a release of those emotions. I'm constantly seeing more tragedy, less triumph. I'm not seeing enough satisfactory resolution to those many many issues, and I've spent three books just watching her hurt be brushed aside both by the people who bully her AND the people who are supposed to be her friends (let's be real, they're doing it even now). And now is supposed to be a good time to pile up another difficult situation on her???

• Whenever Hana has been forced into situations that hurt her, her emotions and thoughts have always been pushed to the sidelines - unless and until it was to elevate the MC to a pedestal in Hana's eyes. Hana has rarely - if ever - been given the space to speak out against injustices done to her, has rarely been allowed to have an opinion on people who have harmed her.

When the narrative should have been validating what Madeleine put Hana through, they opted to create sympathy for Madeleine instead...and had her completely minimize what she did to Hana ("I'm sure Hana will be willing to let bygones be bygones").

When the narrative should have been allowing her to discover what her sexuality was, they opted not to talk about it at all. They opted to make her MC-sexual instead. Even with the "alternative LI" they planned for her (*pukes*), they focused more on Madeleine's feelings than Hana's.

When the narrative should have allowed her the space to explore what her parents did wrong and arm her against their faulty arguments about her being the "delicate flower" who cannot survive without them, the writers opted to push her into a 'solution' that was still centered around her usefulness, not her emotional state. Her 'happy ending' with her parents involves constantly educating them on how to treat her with respect, a suffocating, draining process for a child with her background.

When the narrative should have - at least - given her a good wedding, after showing us what dreams she had for it, a wedding where she was treated like a bride, not a bridesmaid, her writers did exactly the opposite. She is more skilled than the MC yet it is the MC that gets the duchy. She is the creative one who comes up with the polo moves yet it is the MC that gets the credit. She is the one that didn't have a chance to fully plan her own wedding the way she wanted earlier, yet the same MC still treats her like her wedding planner rather than a bride. In not one of these situations is she ever allowed to vent about or even speak of what this is doing to her.

Maybe they will give her a chance to explore this difficult journey, maybe they won't. But how dare they push another tragic, difficult (to her) truth such as this, when they have barely allowed her to voice discontent or pain on a host of other issues!

Piling more pain on top of the pain a character already has, isn't going to make your character better developed. Allowing them the space to feel and show those feelings to others will. Thinking of worthy resolutions to those issues, will. If you want to be fair to Hana, center her in her story. Expand on her origins. Focus on story not skills. And validate her pain goddammit!!

• Sigh. Until next time, folks.

[adamarinayu]

Now that we're on this hiatus, do you mind telling us what you thought of each episode?

Okay, I know I’m super late to answer this but here I am! I’m not gonna go too in depth on them, but I do want to talk about them.

Treasure of the Found Lamp!

This one was amusing, and I absolutely love what they did with Djinn. I’m so so so glad they changed his name, too, as “Dijon” always bothered me, even as a kid. Also, the story of the lamp was very heartwarming! And seeing Selene again was fun, especially as she had to run around and we find out she’s a terrible liar lol (so she definitely had nothing to do with Della’s disappearance, I think we can all finally put that theory to rest).

The wild goose chase aspect was funny, coming from both sides, and I still think the actress on Ma Beagle’s TV looked vaguely like a character from PKNA so. But Djinn did not pull punches and them Beagles at least got hurt XD

Also. It kinda has a “the greatest treasure is family” vibe to it.

The Outlaw Scrooge McDuck!

As someone who loves Scrooge and loves Goldie, but is indifferent to Scroldie… I still loved this episode. It was great! It was also absolutely hilarious. And Gyro’s time traveling was amazing. Especially Scrooge’s sudden moment of realization when Gyro returned lol.

Louie’s gonna befriend Goldie! That makes me excited. I bet they’re gonna teach each other things that we haven’t even thought of (ie Louie values his family, while Goldie doesn’t even have a family. Maybe Goldie will officially join the Duck-McDuck family not through her strange but obviously antagonistically-romantic relationship with Scrooge, but through her friendship with and tutelage of Louie? Maybe he’s the one who shows her the importance of family and offers her a place in their family… it doesn’t mean giving up adventure, it just means always having somewhere she can call home, and people she can trust and rely on!).

I’m iffy about Jeeves’ redesign, and also his somewhat betrayal of Rockerduck, but I’ve never been like a hardcore fan of the two of them so it was easy for me to move on. I am curious, though, just how they’re gonna come back… guess Gyro’s not quite done with time travel shenanigans.

The only real gripe I have is Sheriff Marshal Cabrera. DON’T GET ME WRONG, I absolutely loved him. He’s a beautiful babby boy. But at the same time, he’s literally just. Fenton. I know he’s like. Fenton’s great grandfather (or maybe uncle, idk) or something. There should absolutely be similarities yes, but it felt like someone had taken the characters and placed them in an old west setting. That being said, I do love him, I just wish he’d been slightly more his own character. Like, maybe a little more like a mix of M’Ma and Fenton! Idk.

The 87 Cent Solution!

…….. You really want to know?

Okay, the episode was good. It was funny, and I enjoyed seeing Glomgold’s timestop shenanigans.

But the funeral scene? That wasn’t cool. I saw the “not really dead” twist coming, I think we all did, but no one thought to tell Donald? Donald thought that, so soon after finally making amends with his uncle, he had lost him for good.

And I get it. It’s meant to be a gag. It’s supposed to be funny. But it kinda really soured the rest of the episode for me. I hate to say that too, because it was a good and funny episode… I just… I can’t believe they did that to Donald. :(

The Golden Spear!

AGONY. Agony is how I feel about this one. Della made friends with the Lunarians! Actual friends! And then Penny made a bad choice, and Lunaris… damn you, Lunaris, you traitor.

All the things Della listed off, wanting to do with her kids and brother and uncle… they’re things the others have already done without her. That hit me in the feels.

AND THEN DONALD- AGH, I CAN’T EVEN. Poor Donald. He’s so stressed and his family loves him so much and just wanted him to have some peace. But alas, it was not to be. And now the fandom cries.

… Even if he really shouldn’t have climbed into that rocket but y’know. He didn’t MEAN to press buttons….

Nothing Can Stop Della Duck!

Della reunites with her boys and no one realizes Donald is gone. And we see Della trying to be a mom, and kinda failing miserably. But she’s trying, and she’s learning!

ALSO THEIR WOULD-BE NAMES HFBVSHKFCS

It really put to rest one of my biggest fears, that all of the triplets would accept her immediately (Louie showed serious hesitation through the entire episode, definitely coming from his place of insecurity that Dewey and Huey don’t share) and she’d be super-mom. She makes mistakes, and it’s acknowledged that she seems to be trying to be one of them rather than be their mother. It does feel awkward at times, and alien, like the boys are trying so hard to think she’s doing great when she’s really causing harm, but in the end when it comes down to it she’d do anything to protect them, and gives them the choice of letting her into their life. She doesn’t try and force her way in (as she kinda did at first, but came to realize this isn’t easy for them either).

Right now she feels kinda more like a cool aunt than a mom, but she’ll learn.

Raiders of the Doomsday Vault!

IS LUDWIG’S CONSCIOUS TRAPPED IN THE VAULT?! HE REACTED TO AND INTERACTED WITH THE PEOPLE OUTSIDE.

Anyway Scrooge and Glomgold’s parts were absolutely A+ hilarious. Della and Dewey bonding, they’re so much alike, but we see Dewey’s insecurity flare up- how he wants to impress Della, feeling like he has to earn her love. Even though she’s already loved them for ten years, even without ever knowing what they looked like.

Della has a moment of realization here, too. She looks down and realizes Dewey is in a dangerous situation. She realizes that Dewey is in danger. She questions if they’re doing something crazy, clearly thinking maybe we shouldn’t be doing this, but when Dewey quotes her “I’m your son, I can do anything!” she instead chooses to encourage him, not wanting to discourage him and possibly cause him to fall.

And then of course, her “exit strategy” thing. I honestly kinda feel like it’s a bit of an ass pull, but it at least makes a little sense. When you’re being hunted by a monster on the moon, you always want to have an escape route planned. Scrooge sees that, even if she’s the same ol’ Della she was before, she’s still changed. Ten years still changes you.

Friendship Hates Magic!

New Girl! New Girl! Violet’s pretty cool. At first she comes off as one of those “um, actually” people, but since I’m one of those “um, actually” people it’s pretty whatever to me lol. And Lena’s back! I’m super excited about that.

Lena gets a little jealous-possessive but who can blame her, Webby’s one of the few people who have always believed in her. And Webby spent so much time we never knew about trying to find ways to bring Lena back, to the point that it’s like clockwork.

The whole “being tormented by her own mind” thing was actually frightening in a way, and I’m just glad it all turned out alright. And now Webby isn’t just a fourth triplet, she’s the central member of her own trio. It’s great!

The Dangerous Chemistry of Gandra Dee!

Admittedly another plotline to be seen from far away. A good episode full of secondhand embarrassment, but dang Huey’s LUNGS.

I love Gandra’s design and personality. It’s pretty durn great. I love it! I just have one gripe. Warning, this is a bit of a rant.

Why can’t we let characters be feminine? By this I mean traditionally feminine. Dresses, makeup, shopping, high heels, giggling, soft and compassion and gentle and things I’m not, pinks and lilacs, etc. Yes, Webby’s favourite colour is pink and she likes glitter and wears skirts, she is pretty feminine. But she’s the only one, besides Roxanne Featherby (Featherly? I don’t remember, and that’s only arguably because of her clothes), to be even slightly feminine, and even then it can be argued she’s not all that traditionally feminine because, well… she’s the bruiser of the group. Which there’s absolutely nothing wrong with! A feminine bruiser absolutely works, and I love it, but looking at it from certain angles…

Most of the (non-villain) females, besides Webby, show next to no traditionally feminine qualities- Goldie is the closest, when she dresses up for special events or for schemes. Which I don’t mind, per se, I don’t have many traditionally feminine qualities either, but you’d think at least a few would. The original Gandra Dee, who I am glad they changed mind you, was very feminine; she wore her hair long, wore dresses, enjoyed makeup and manicures, etc. She was traditionally feminine, AND smart. (even if I never liked how they drew her face (the eyes and beak look weird imho, DT17 pulled it off better), and I felt like she left much to be desired *cough*…)

There is nothing wrong with having traditionally feminine characters. There is nothing wrong with having characters who enjoy dressing up, or putting on makeup, or shopping, etc. The problem with traditionally feminine characters comes in when it’s done for sex appeal, or you have a woman running from dinosaurs in 6 inch heels (yeah I’m calling that out) or there’s a feminine character there only to be dragged on by the others for their feminine characteristics.

Anyway, rant about that over. I still love what they did with Gandra, but I’m just noticing this trend where female characters aren’t being allowed to like traditionally feminine things. Yeah, there are absolutely a lot of girls who don’t, but there’s probably an equal amount who do! And there’s nothing wrong with showing a competent, traditionally feminine character. :/

The Duck Knight Returns!

DARKWING DUCK DARKWING DUCK DARKWING DUCK NEGADUCK AAAAAAAA

Need I say more?

Okay, Launchpad is a sweetheart and let’s be honest, we knew the moment we saw him that the other guy at the signing was Drake Mallard.

I love that they kept the “Darkwing Duck inspires Drake Mallard to become Darkwing Duck” aspect of DW’s origin story, while twisting it around so that time travel and paradoxes don’t occur. Also! We still get Jim Cummings as Negaduck, while also getting a new VA for Drake Mallard/Darkwing Duck- someone who does a pretty good job at sounding like them, too. So now Negaduck, who is no longer Darkwing/Drake Mallard from an alternate universe, has his own distinguishable voice!

… And I still think Negs is gonna have an unhealthy obsession with Launchpad, thanks to the “my fan” comment. I figure that’s how we’ll get Nega Launchpad, but who knows! There’s so many possibilities!

Anyway Gosalyn, yesterday please. Gimme.

[bigskydreaming]

Okay, last random post for the day, then I gotta work. But something else I’ve been thinking a lot about lately, is that kinda weird feeling when you don’t like a writer or how they handled stuff and would have preferred someone else write it, BUT at the same time, you also really like something that came out of their writing and probably wouldn’t have happened if not for that writer making it happen.

And I think this also traces back to that post the other day about not settling for substandard representation and holding creators accountable for not doing more, and when its not the creators’ fault but the higher-ups, holding them accountable, etc.

Like, Scott McCall and Jeff Davis is a great example of this, I think. Obviously, he’s one of my favorite characters of all time. And as much as I hate how Davis and co. wrote him a lot of the time, obviously they also wrote him in ways that established all the core reasons I love that character so much, and there’s no guarantee that if another writer had launched a TW reboot, their version of Scott would be remotely like the one that I latched onto. 

And obviously we’ve all talked a lot about how Davis could have done more with Scott’s Mexican heritage and identity as biracial and latino, even though there’s a large chance he would have just been white if another creator had been in charge. I raise that just as another example of what I’m talking about, not one that I myself am looking to weigh in on, I leave that to latine fans. For myself, I’ve obviously talked a lot about how I project onto Scott and identify with him so much as a survivor and see a lot of parallels between his story and my own experiences and the identity they’ve shaped for me. And on that front at least, I’ve ranted just as much about how I personally don’t give Davis any credit for this stuff, because I think it happened in spite of him not because of him, that he was oblivious to the undertones of his own material, or at least the ones that could easily be read into it.

And then there’s Devin Grayson, the Nightwing writer I rant about a lot. The one who wrote him being raped, which obviously is also a large part of why I identify with Dick, and just like Jeff Davis, something I think is in spite of her writing, not because of it, as she too was irresponsible and oblivious in a lot of her handling of her own material. And at the same time, she’s also the one who introduced Dick’s Romani heritage and made that canon, while being very heavy-handed and stereotypical with the way she wrote things herself, and a lot of Rom readers being very critical of her choices there, while at the same time celebrating Dick’s Rom heritage and happy to have him as representation now. And given how few writers have even referenced Dick’s rape since it happened or how few actually acknowledge that he’s Rom, an argument can bemade that neither of these things would have happened if not for her.

And then we’ve got Bobby Drake, who I identified with long before he came out in the comics, and even moreso now that he’s actual gay rep I can point to. But obviously I rant a tooooon about Bendis and his handling of all this, probably even more than I ever have about Davis or Grayson specifically, and I think the difference here is that making Bobby gay WASN’T something that only he would’ve written. Given that multiple writers going back over twenty years have wanted to and even tried to write Bobby as gay or bi, but Marvel told them no, this is a definite area where the higher-ups are as much to blame for my issues with the comics as Bendis himself. Because Bendis is responsible for the writing choices I dislike so intensely in this matter, but Marvel’s higher ups are responsible for Bendis being the one who got to make the writing choices in this matter, even though other writers were willing and able.

I’m honestly not sure where I’m going with this, lmao, and don’t really have a point, sorry if you thought I did. I’m more kinda just thinking out loud. Except...in text. Whatever.

Anyway. All of this I think goes to show one of the best things about storytelling IMO....which is that stories grow with the telling. Always. Storytelling is like one giant, never-ending game of telephone. Where every time a story is retold, or adapted, or even just passed along from one person to another via a summary of the events - something gets added to it. The last person to pass it on in some fashion added a little bit of themselves to it, their own personal experiences and perspectives and priorities helping to further shape or flesh out the story even further. 

Sometimes by adding little details or context that maybe weren’t even in the original source material, but that we unthinkingly add in, maybe because those details are things that came to mind when reading or watching the story since they go hand in hand with why the story appealed to us in the first place. Like we add them in without realizing it because it seems so obvious that there are little holes and gaps in the story and these are the things that SHOULD go there, should’ve been there from the start. 

And other times, we add to and grow stories in the telling, somewhat counter-intuitively, but by ERASING little details about the stories or elements that feel like they don’t belong. Like filing away the rough edges to leave a more finished, polished piece before we hand it off to the next person, our audience for our retelling or recounting of it. Again, often not something we’re even consciously thinking about, our minds automatically leaving out the parts that we take for granted don’t fit or shouldn’t have been there in the first place. 

So any time we interact with a story, have some kind of personal relationship with it or connection to it, its like that story exists on two levels, in two separate ways. There’s the story as it was originally told, initially laid down, the story a creator constructed based on their own personal experiences, lens, and priorities, the story both as they intended to write it and as they actually wrote it, what ended up on the page. And then there’s the story as it exists once distributed to a wider audience, the story as its retold and recounted and transformed and shaped and honed and added to.

And you can’t divorce that second, larger version of the story from the initial ‘baby’ story it grew from. Not to get too precious here, but as with anything that grows, either physically or metaphorically, there is a sense in which its alive, and can be compared to other living things. Like take any person you meet. That person grew from a baby. The baby they were is fundamental to the person they are now. Who they are wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for who they were.

But how much does the baby they were actually matter, when interacting with the person they are now? No, you can’t separate the two, the one wouldn’t exist without the other, but in every way that actually matters, its only the larger, more grown version of that person that you’re actually interacting with, engaging with, INTERESTED in engaging with in the first place. How much credit do you actually owe whatever they were like as a baby or young child, for them growing up to become someone you like and value as a person now, someone who adds something to your life?

I think its something similar, with the way we interact with stories, and I think that’s part of why I have such a problem with the way we’re...encouraged to give proper credit and even show gratitude to storytellers for giving us certain stories in the first place. And I say that as a writer myself, and one who LOVES feedback, and loves interaction, and collaboration, and for whom a large part of the appeal of writing is seeing what someone makes of something I’ve written, or what they go on to do with it.

But I mean.....there’s no doubt that however these things originated, Dick Grayson’s existence as a male rape survivor means a ton to me, as one myself. Just like him being Romani means a ton to a lot of Rom fans, and the way Scott McCall being Latino means a ton to a lot of latine fans and how he means a lot to survivors in other respects and how Bobby Drake being gay means a ton to a lot of LGBTQ+ fans.

But in a lot of those cases, these characters mean so much to us more as a result of what other people have done with them SINCE those initial stories laid out these aspects of identity. It’s not Devin Grayson’s fumbling attempts at writing Dick as Romani that most Rom readers I know celebrate and enjoy his character, its for what others have done with that heritage on their own. Adding to it with their own personal experience, or at least researching attentively and with proper credit and deference paid to people whose experiences they listen to and learn from, etc. Just like, its not her issue with Nightwing and Tarantula I would actually cite as the reason I identify so strongly with Dick Grayson, but all of the fics and meta and headcanons written about that issue by other survivors who added to it and fleshed it out and made it real and lived with their own experiences and takes, while filing away the parts that just didn’t work for them.

Then again, we could argue that at least we still owe something for having that opportunity in the first place, right? That there was even that seed planted, that other people cultivated and grew into the story we actually like and engage with.

Except, idk. Like, intent doesn’t matter in terms of harm done, we say that a lot and its true. The fact that you didn’t intend to hurt someone with something doesn’t mean that they weren’t hurt. But that doesn’t mean that intent doesn’t matter, that it doesn’t make a difference in how something comes across. That sometimes it isn’t THE difference, in and of itself.

I rant about non/con fic and hurt/comfort fics all the time, fics that are really just an excuse for torture porn, even as I write stories that deal heavily with rape and abuse. And I don’t find this remotely hypocritical, because for me, this part traces back to intent. I’ve got zero interest in people using trauma such as rape or abuse for a narrative REASON. Like when writers talk about using rape as a tool to reveal something about a character, to change them in some way or develop them, to show what they’re capable of surviving or toughen them up, anything like any of that, I have an immediate and visceral reaction of FUCK NO. That train of thought is basically a dealbreaker right there, because I’ve got a deep-seated hostility to the idea that rape or any kind of trauma can be a tool. Even in fiction. Because no matter how you frame it, that tacitly perpetuates the idea that rape or abuse can have a purpose, a reason for existing, for happening to a character or a real person, and from there it’s only a few small steps to justification of it happening. The idea that being raped or abused can make a person better, can change them into a better or stronger or person in ways no other experiences or circumstances can manage - that’s deeply abhorrent to me, and I’ve got no respect for stories that go this route.

But at the same time, I do write stories about rape and abuse and read and engage with stories about this stuff, like various stories about Dick or Scott. And for me, the difference in these stories, the reasons why I’m interested in these but not those others, is because of the intent behind their writing, or at least what I perceive that intent to be, based on the writing. I’m interested in the stories that aren’t about writing rape/abuse to tell a story about a character, but stories about characters who have been raped/abused. Stories that are about the PEOPLE affected rather than the events that affect them. That treat rape/abuse not as a narrative or plot device or a thing that happens with purpose or for a reason, but rather just as things that happened to the people the story is about. Treating these things as lived experiences rather than part of an author’s grand design, or the real-life version of these things as part of God’s grand design. I don’t read/write stories about rape or abuse, I read/write stories about survivors. The difference is in the intent. Writers who are trying to make something horrible into something useful versus writers who are trying to make something out of the aftermath of something horrible. The latter value the survivor’s pain; the former don’t value their pain enough not to subject them to it in the first place.

And this of course relates to writing identity as well as experiences. With writers like Davis and a Latino character like Scott or writers like Bendis and a gay character like Bobby. It comes down to intent. Why are they making these choices, giving these characters these identities. Are they doing so for a purpose, because they think it says something about that character or will result in something? Or are they doing it to tell stories about a character with this identity? Because just like with certain lived experiences, I’ve got no respect for writers who treat real life identities as a tool, as something that can be chosen with purpose, to achieve specific goals. 

Most latine fans who are dissatisfied with Davis’ handling of Scott as a biracial or Latino character specifically, IME they cite the problem being how little interest Davis showed in actually expanding on that or doing anything with that aspect of his identity, even while happily taking credit for casting a Latino actor in his lead role. The vast majority of my complaints with Bendis and his writing of Bobby’s sexuality go back to how little interest he ever showed in writing Bobby as a character, having him explore his sexuality rather than just treating his coming out as a character benchmark or milestone that would forever have Bendis’ name on it, and that’s all he needed or wanted out of that. Why would anyone owe a writer credit or praise or gratitude for using someone elses’ identities for personal achievements? 

The flipside though is what about writers who write outside their lane in an honest and sincere attempt to tell stories about people who have these identities, stories about the experiences that come with them, stories about these people as people. Okay sure, that’s different, that’s great. But I mean, its not THAT great. As a white dude, I don’t ever think, gee I sure am grateful that this writer sat down and decided I’m gonna make this character a white guy because I think white guys have stories worth telling. LOL. Nah. So why should I be like, well gee, I sure am grateful that this writer sat down and decided I’m gonna make this character gay or bi because I think gay or bi guys have stories worth telling? I wouldn’t. I shouldn’t. Congrats on seeing me as a person whose identity and experience has value, same as I am and do because of my whiteness or my maleness? I’m....grateful? Nah. I mean, yes, this is better than writers like Davis or Bendis who are only writing outside their lane to get credit and praise for doing so, but just because its not ACTIVELY bad, doesn’t mean its like....ACTIVELY good or worthy of gratitude instead of just....hey, here’s a thing a writer did, they wrote a story with someone who’s like me in these specific ways. I’m a person to them.

Again, I have noooooooo idea where I’m going with any of this or what I was trying to say in any kind of cohesive fashion. This was just....stream of consciousness musing that I will now wrap up because I’ve run out of steam and/also I gotta get back to work. Make of it what you will, like, if you can find something useful in this, hooray and also, impressive, lmao, and if not....let your eyes glaze over and scroll past, lololol.

[sanrosa]

10:43pm

A month ago, exactly a month ago, I would not have imagined being in the position I am right now. Because a month ago, I still had uni assignments that were still due, I was still living with my one sister and mom, I had just applied for a learnership which I had hoped and prayed so much for - feeling optimistic because of the responses I gave for the interview, I still had a learner's licence that was about to expire and I was blatantly waiting for it to expire because there was no hope whatsoever anymore that I would get a test before it expires (my punctuality cost me a great amount), I still did not know how I'd really execute my vision of getting into the scenes and finally officially put myself out there as a rapper/artist, I still did not know either how I'd take advantage of the platforms I had initiated but did not carry on with (my blogs, youtube channels, twitter accounts, instagram, etc.) and I still had no full set idea of what I was going to do this year, like exactly what I'm working towards by the end of this unexpected gap year. This was all me, a month ago.

A month later... so much has changed, I'm quite amazed. So... I never quite really finished the assignments on time, and well, in summary: I failed. The hour I spent after reading that email, that hour- in pure shock, is one I will never quite forget. How I had emotions too many, yet none. A state of confusion, shock, heartbreak, deep sadness, then numbness, then acceptance, then happiness, then relief and joy. All in a matter of minutes. At the same time, I was trying not to feel either. I convinced myself that it is not that deep, I am strong and I will get through this. Because in a way, I had also expected it, the way things were going. I could not have expected that I pass with flying colours when the effort I was putting was minimal to none. Literally doing things last minute. So, while I was surprised at failing for the first time in my life academically, I honestly did not have anything or anyone else to blame but myself. The responsibility was completely my own and it is in my doing and way of handling my time that I succumbed to this position (of failure). So, yes, I do know that I am at fault. But fr, it just could not erase the fact that I was in shock hey. But I did move on from that rather quickly. And what I took from that moment were two things... A big lesson, and a big advice. The biggest lesson was (and will continue to be, until I truly learn and master it) - How to take control of my time and manage it efficiently! There will not a lesson as big as this one right here for me. Because it has become my biggest weakness and starting to become my most wounding one, unless I start acting right and learn it. I've been losing too much and too many precious things (opportunities, assets, beautiful moments) to my lack of time management skills. And it hurts! So I have no choice anymore other than to fully commit myself to respecting, cherishing and managing my time the way I'm supposed to, to get to exactly where I want to be. And well, I guess I'd say the advice is actually also in this lesson; Practice, practice, practice! Master the art of doing something when I need to and am able to. There's no better time than now. Anyways, next. Well, just a month ago I thought I'd be living with my sister for the year. But, my aunt and cousin came to visit for a weekend, and my cousin did not have a place to stay yet for his school year (res) so we found out he'll be staying with us. For a month. Jiki-jiki, a month later.. Both my sister and my cousin have left. Gone to their residences and off living their lives. As if I expected that?? I should've, right? No. Because my sister never actually said anything about leaving, and I genuinely thought my cousin was actually going to stay like a bit longer because who starts staying in a place in like the middle of the month, you know? So here I am now, lonely and sad they're both gone and I'm just left with my mother, who besides being a really cool and sweet human, likes to naaagg! about almost anything around the house. from the table not being wiped properly, to the windows, to the curtains, to the food and the way it was cooked, to the. Which, I'm not gonna lie, I understand as she is a black parent. I dislike it (extremely), but I do understand. I mean in any case, she probably has a lot of stress already so this is like her way of taking it out I guess (and lmao that is actually exactly what goes through my mind when she nags. I bounce her energy off, and not let it interfere with my energy, by keeping in mind that she's just trying to air out her 'boiling' thoughts, so i should not let it get to my emotions so that I have a bad vibe because the vibe that's been created. and it works like a charm). At the same time though, I'm not trying to paint a picture of her as an extremely 'complaintive' person lol, it's just i think that i'm not used to this energy anymore. I left the nest last year. Now that I've come back, I'm not sure how the hell I was able to handle such energy... cause it is lame as hell. But anyways, my point actually was how sad I am that my sis and cousin left. So abruptly even. Man. At least my cousin (who actually just left this morning) did leave me with something valuable. A truly valuable gift. He taught me how to make a beat. Just a day ago I didn't know practically anything about making beats. Not even the names of the types of instruments (snares, kicks, hi-hats, melodies). But now, I feel like I've unlocked a whole new world of understanding music. Cause now it feels like I even know exactly what went into the beats that these famous artists (Drake, Kanye, Nicki, PND, Cardi) use for the songs. Of course not exactly what they used, but more or less how they made it. And it looks easier now. My journey on being a rapper now looks more lit up cause bitch I'll even be producing my own hits now. Ah! Lol but okay, honestly, that was fire. And I'm truly and eternally grateful he helped with that. I hope he has a blessed year. Alright... next. (sigh) The learnership. Actually this one kinda still hurts deeply so I won't get too in detail about it, but... I did not get the learnership. Though I genuinely felt like I fit the criteria perfectly when I applied, as well as living very near to the workplace. Heaven only knows why I would be given such an opportunity and have the strength to actually take it, yet the outcome is a complete flop. Like I am honestly trying to understand why I even saw the ad in the first place... At such perfect timing (cause I was not going to be taking a gap year this year anyways)... All to just give me unnecessary hope? Why?? Why break my heart like that??? But ok yeah ... Life and shit. Anyways, the learner's licence. Haha, this one is quite interesting actually. Because to be truly honest, I had almost forgotten that I had a learner's licence. And I think it's because in my mind I had obtained the learner's, took driving lessons and had already planned to take the driver's test in PE, however I was in Gtown for most of last year, so it seemed like something that could not happen until I fully got back to PE, which was December. December came and went with all the fun I had and it completely slipped my mind that I could take lessons and a driver's test during the time. Came beginning of January, I'm preparing for school. Still no 'go book a test' in mind, until the middle/end of January (when it became final that I was not going to school this year) and I thought 'oh damn, this would be the perfect time to actually take lessons and book a test then'. Only to find out I am too darn late; the DLTC is all booked out. Oh, how I regretted wasting my time on idk what. 🙂💔 Fortunately, I was not too bummed out, considering I have another whole year to redo this then. Unfortunately, I stumbled upon a post by one of my favourite artists right now, Saweetie, and found out that she is doing a giveaway (brave of me to enter that world again, I know. I don't know what's my problem really) and well, I decided to enter it. Thing is though, it's a giveaway for a whole Tesla. Yes bitch, a whole entire mthrfking TESLA. And my ass is smart enough to think I would win it lol. Okay, God bless my heart. Anyways, so the catch is.... You need a driver's licence. OBVI! But I don't have one. YET! So, uhm, *cough cough* let me f**king book for learner's as soon as the day it expires!... Okay, done! Now let's go take the test 6 days later!... Okay, done! We passed... Done! Wooh. Now let's book for a driver's test as soon as you get home from writing the test cause we excited asf!... LMAO done! Now let's make sure it's a good date and good time astrologically too (cause that lowkey was the case with you writing the learner's test and boom you passed, even tho you didn't even check).... Done! Okay, we almost there, now go book for lessons at One Way (I'm sure they'll have spots for you cause it's a whole month and 3 days before you take your test lmao).... Done! Yay! I have a whole month to practice. Let's get it! Okay well, that's where I stand so far. Tuesday I'm then going to pay the booking fee and stuff. Then, take lessons from both the driving school and with my mother. Then take the test on Weed Day lmao. So after the test I smoke one up and celebrate victory. 😄 All in due time for the giveaway closing after two days. Wows. Whether I win the giveaway or not though, I'll just be glad that it seriously inspired me this much to finally get a driver's licence. Like, it genuinely pushed me hey. So boom I was able to get a licence this year 😁 Urrrniways... Next. My vision. Oh my dear vision. To be a well known female rapper. Beeeen hiding behind the scenes, you'd never know what I'm up to, whether I'm working, I'm playing, I'm being boring, I'm having a blast... or even having a child, chile (lmao). But one thing's for sure, I am still alive. Okay. And I'm just about to be more alive, and you'll even feel more alive... when my ass starts dropping things. Yasss honeyy, dropping my name, dropping that ass, dropping these beats, dropping this sass. Oh shit, here's the real her. Yes, hi. I been working, and I been playing, now let's get to showinnngg.😁 Lol, okay but on the real. A month ago, I really did not know how to execute my vision. In some parts I still don't really, like the cover for my debut EP (photography-wise), who to really contact for first edition EP-listening, and how much it would completely cost to distribute this whole idea/vision (which I'm actually going to have to start becoming my own professional accountant). But in some parts I now do, including important parts like GETTING THE MIC (😪😁 finally! and guess when it came? March 16th. always a special day for me this one), knowing how to produce my own beats here and there (finally 😁), and how exactly to market to a large number of people (😆more views and stuff), then perhaps less important stuff like the outfit I will wear for my very first performance lmao, and posting my stuff on instagram and tiktok (unexpectedly actually), and actually understanding and lowkey connecting with underrated rappers/singers. It's a pretty dope world to see tbh. Overrall... Babbyy, I see you the see the vision now. It's an exciting time to be in. (Side-note: Lmao I highkey lowkey think the moon being in Gemini just impacted me now. cause suddenly I'm on some other mood within writing this post. lmao shit changed quite drastically than when I began writing). Anyways, next. Last but not least... Taking advantage of these platforms, in conjunction with what exactly I will be doing this year. So, a month ago, I had almost forgotten about my astrology blog. Well, let me actually put it this way... I started to kinda cringe at the thought of my blog because it had been a while since I'd posted, so I wasn't too keen on going on to tumblr again. All the notifs, inboxes and deep cringe from noticing how it's been almost 5 months since I last posted something. Likkke... girl, is you serious or not? Lol, but then... an idea got blessed in my head on the 4th of March (a beautiful idea that will start commencing very soon)... How about I start a small business? :? Selling..... Merch. Based on astrology.😁 It is one heck of a win-win situation for me and the people getting interested in astrology now. But of course... I need an audience to sell to. So, (to the Heavens I thank for the day I randomly posted some astrology thing here on tumblr and it actually blew up and I did not even expect that), now I have some people to at least engage and connect with for this business. And I thank the Heavens even more that my idea somehow got transferred into my mom's head and she popped up a question of "Don't you wanna start selling stuff?" or something like that. And hell to yes, I grabbed that opportunity like no other! (but fr, I was shocked first. like what? you read my mind or sumn?) Lol, and so... Mi lady and I talked business and how she'd invested a K for me to check if I'd really be able to handle it. (Oh and perhaps I might add, my dad also did 'invest' a K for me in terms of my music... cause I was able to buy a mic with the money he gave me. Yes, yes, a whole K went into a mic). So I can only genuinely thank God for the people in my life, and how this path is going for me right now. Like, wow. But yeah. Technically, I haven't received the K from Mi lady yet, but that is good because I'd like to get in touch (and get bigger) with my tumblr astro fam again. Then in a couple of weeks, we officially commence. Just in time for me having a driver's licence. So, things can be easier for me pushing my business. :') Lord God, You are great. The greatest. Otherwise... yeah, then other stuff ke like really building my niche on instagram (posting pics and stuff), starting a music/astrology channel on YouTube (which I released my first video today 😁), and already officiated handles on twitter and insta. I'm not too sure if I care about facebook tbh. but yeah, then all that's left is the website itself and a professional email address. then, digitally, we up!

So yeah man... wooh, what a month passing by. never would've thought of all of these things happening. but I can only thank Lord God because it's none other than His doing that's helping me with all of this. Like I actually cannot explain how grateful I am for how kind and amazing He has been to me. and the fact that I'm able to see and understand why these things are happening. some making me really sad, but it's all just to introducing the next that will make me really happy. I am truly blessed man. wow.

God, I thank you. With all my heart and being. All my existence and soul. I thank you.

[rrrawrf-writes]

6, 7, 8, 11, 29?? 💚

06. are there different creatures in your world? what kind of creatures?

there are quite a few in ythea! there are very big things called iron-eaters that, surprisingly, eat metal. they look kind of like really big bison, if bison also had a sort of turtle shell. they generally move slow and are more attracted to metal inside magic-pusher barriers; naturalists think that they like it better without the taste of aether or magic. this can be a problem, since there are railroad tracks all over the midlands, where these things have begun to migrate to.

there are also rare creatures called ʻilio’lani !!! at least, they are in kamean; i got the word by mashing up hawaiian words for ‘dog’ and ‘sky’ and idk if i am going to stick with it, or if other countries have their own translation in ythea. they don’t look very dog-like, tho, but more like an otter or a weasel, with very, very long rabbity ears and four enormous feathered wings. real talk, i made these things up years ago as a kid after i played secret of mana and met flammie 8|

‘ilio’lani are fairly rare, living mostly in very high cliffs, and are considered as omens for good luck and fortune. both keo and queen alohilani have ‘ilio’lani as their ‘aumakua (their summons from their inkmagic).

there are also drakes, which are v big lizards that can be tamed to ride like horses, and then some other final fantasy-ish monsters probably floating around, who knows. locrian can turn into a drake. there are also things called whisper hounds that are ghosty things and will come and suck our ur life force if they smell that u have magic o3o

idk that bannerworld has anything new or interesting yet. we’ll find out :K

07. has there been a war? if so, tell your readers about it!

lots of wars in ythea’s history! as of present, port au fois is trying to avoid war with erideen. erideen is ruled by an oligarchy, and they are split on whether they wanna invade and conquer port au fois or not. they would have to deal with kamea, as well, if they did, and possibly another nation. port au fois is v good at making friends. altho, they did think kamea was to blame for some terrorist attacks a while back………

in bannerworld, he’s generally written as going through the war with cordell, or just after. eola is a magic-hating, militaristic country, while cordell is very into magic, and is ruled by the most powerful mage of the known world, king mafvin. mafvin isn’t very good at the whole warring bit - he’d really rather not - and eola sort of assumed that his power was limited to a specific area.

surprise!!! it’s only limited a tiny amount, and outside that area, mafvin is still horrifyingly powerful. he got pissed about the constant warring, and finally came out and nearly destroyed all of eola’s armies singlehandedly. banner lives through this and has some wicked PTSD now, and also still hates mages. eola capitulates, gives up some land to cordell (that, unfortunately, includes banner’s home village, guy just can’t get a break, he couldn’t even kill the witchking properly, and he was mistaken for a general and taken as a POW by the cordellans), and the king of eola was forced to agree to not make war on cordell again (in his lifetime).

it was rough all around.

08. are there any armies? do they have special armor?

ythea is, again, pretty standard to modern-day for the most part, except that mages can often create magical barriers and shields. keo is especially good with shields. also, there are very hard-skinned sharks and fish in the ocean that ancient kameans used to make armor out of, and they still use it!

bannerworld - banner is in the army! they wear v basic leather or chain mail or plate, tho. banner’s general ensemble is brigantine armor. not real fancy.

11. are there any fancy balls and festivals held in your book?

hmmmm talzee, tarquin, and keo end up going to a charity ball to scope out some stuff! keo gets beat up and becomes a host for some weird magic key, i think, i still don’t quite have it all sorted out. :x

banner wouldn’t know what to do with himself at a ball. be a decorative statute in the corner, probably. internally panic every single time a single lady so much as looks in his direction.

29. are there any minor characters you want to talk about? what is their role?

banner’s second lieutenant tovi! she’s a pal. gets stuff done, proofreads all his paperwork for him (he is terrible at writing and reading), keeps an eye on things when he isn’t around. she can also understand and occasionally even direct animals, which is a talent she keeps hidden, because eolans hate magic and that would probably count. it comes in useful after banner gets turned into a dog, tho 0:)

captain elias slate! another eolan officer. banner’s captain and commanding officer. like tovi, slate has some hidden talents that aren’t quite magical enough to be mage-worthy, and easily hidden, but he’d probably be executed on the spot, because he is a fairly high-ranking officer. slate can basically use his voice so forcefully that it affects peoples’ behavior; he can inspire courage or mild fear/alarm in people when he yells at them, basically, and is very good at getting people to spill secrets. he’s also a good enough alchemist/medicine-maker that would make most eolans suspicious, though he learned that from a cordellan healer mage when he was a POW in his youth. slate was born in a prison, so he didn’t have a last name, and took slate because rocks. and it sounds cool.

[bts-love-sweat-tears]

11 Questions

Wow, two tag games back to back! You all know how to make a girl feel loved <3

Thanks @jihyesol​, my one true international Virgo sibling and tea drinker! I love the questions, I think they’re so interesting :)  And i’m confused about the rules  so I will just answer all of them too <3 

Tagging @yaoilicious-ai​ @arrianna21​ @perpetually-jungshook​ @perfectlysane24​// @lauren2408​ and anyone else as always 

1. Which fictional character do you relate to the most and why ?

I’ve never really thought about this before. I guess I used to feel like the friend in the movies, who just filled in and solved other people’s issues, but now I feel like a main character, finally at 26. 

2. What’s your biggest pet peeve ?

When people say I should calm down about people with bigoted viewpoints and that we all need to listen to each other. Are people saying that to them? 

3. Forget about the salary and all the stuff for one second, if you could have any job which one would you choose ?

Is BTS stylist an option? Kidding, i’m not very fashionable.

4. What’s that accessory/piece of clothing that you put the most effort in or that you accord the most attention to ?

I have so many bags/purses. It’s actually a problem. Also, sunglasses when the weather warrants. I feel like the right pair of sunglasses can make almost any outfit look cool. 

5. You gotta choose one song as your all-time favorite. Which one is it ?

Impossible. 

6. What’s your happiest memory ?

Summer beach vacations with my extended family. 

7. What are your phobias ?

Spiders. I’m 26 so you would think I would grow out of it, but I haven’t yet. If there’s no one around to deal with it for me, I just ignore and pretend it’s not there (clearly, a healthy coping mechanism). 

8. What’s your favorite quote if you have any ?

Often misquoted, but here you go:  

“I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. He will put some things behind, will pass an invisible boundary; new, universal, and more liberal laws will begin to establish themselves around and within him; or the old laws be expanded, and interpreted in his favor in a more liberal sense, and he will live with the license of a higher order of beings. In proportion as he simplifies his life, the laws of the universe will appear less complex, and solitude will not be solitude, nor poverty poverty, nor weakness weakness. If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.”-Henry David Thoreau, Chapter 18 of Walden.

9. You have a free trip around the world but you’ll never meet your “soulmate” (or anyway that person who’s supposed to make you rly rly happy ok would it be romantically or not) do you accept that deal ?  

I would wait to meet my soulmate, who, if they really are, would love to travel around the world with me later. Boom. 

10. What kinda teenager were you ? Or if you’re a teenager now, what kind of kid were you ?

Nerdy AP kid with like 2 friends. You’re shocked, right? :P 

11. Your idol ?

Anyone who puts their minds to something and actually achieves it. People who find ways to operate and succeed even with so many constraints we all face on a day to day basis. 

I don’t have that many idols because as humans we are all flawed. But I probably idolize BTS a bit much. (duh, or this blog wouldn’t even exist)

Round 2

(not relevant in any way but too cute to not use)

1. Do you agree with what is said about your astrological sign a lot of the time?

Yes, for the most part! I’m actually messy af though so the things about Virgos being neat freaks isn’t really true for me. I’m really interested in astrology and recently found out that my moon sign is Sagittarius, which explained the restlessness and need to travel and not feel pinned down. When I saw that, I was floored because I never knew about anything other than sun signs until recently. 

2. If you could have any mythological creature as a pet (and lets say it would be safe for you, the creature, and the people around you to have it as a pet, and you would have all the right knowledge and reasources for it) what would it be?

I’ve never really thought about it. But maybe a werewolf friend? Though they wouldn’t be a pet. 

3. What’s your favorite book?

Anything by Tamora Pierce.

4. What album could you listen to for 24 hours straight and not be tired of it?

Any BTS, obviously.  I also have a weird obsession with Drake (don’t get me started), dancehall, reggaeton/cumbia, jazz (my parents are obsessed and I used to work behind the scenes at a big jazz festival in my city). I guess I didn’t really answer but i’m constantly listening to something. 

5. What’s your favorite flower and why?

Daffodils for now. The winter has been abnormally long where I live, so they are only starting to pop up now and I’m happy for signs of spring. 

6. What’s your favorite season and why?

Fall. I love the crispness, the leaves, sweaters, scarves, warm drinks, bonfires, everything.

7. Guilty pleasure tag on tumblr, like the one you can’t believe you find yourself strolling through?

I feel weird about smut in general ( though I pass no judgement, and def read on occasion). Like the person is a real person who is out there, and the character is a stand in for someone else? I also feel like a lot of it is very objectifying. On the other hand, it could be a harmless way for sexual exploration? Idk, any thoughts on this?

8. What is the best advice someone has given you directly?

It wasn’t verbal advice, but I had one boss who always assumed that whatever she did would work out, or that she could ask for anything that she wanted. While sometimes it grated on me, I loved how agentic she was in her life and try to channel that, to an extent. I tend to think of all the things that could go wrong or reasons why I shouldn’t do something (which can be useful too) but at some point you just have to actively go after what you want.

9. Favorite drink and why (non-alcoholic)?

LaCroix. Because I am as basic as you think I am. <3 

10. What’s your favorite tv show and why?

I have never watched much TV, but I used to watch Avatar: The Last Airbender religiously. Recently I am working my way through  season 4 of Parks and Rec  (finally), and just started season 2 of Attack on Titan. 

11. What is something you can do that a lot of people don’t know you can do?

I’m not that secretive (clearly) so this is hard. But I used to be into singing and took lessons, sang in the state-level choir, and have actually been in a recording studio way back when. But due to some perfect storms in high school, I stopped. Now I only sing at the top of my lungs when home alone or in my car. 

[elizabethschoices]

The Freshman, Book 4, Chapter Three: My Thoughts

Are we even legal to drink alcohol?

Alright, so the chapter starts off with Zack being a horrible driver on a bad road. #IBelieveIt We’re headed to the Ashtons’ summer home in Roxbury, and apparently it’s hella off the grid because there’s no maintenance on the roads. Lovely. Zack’s tires are gonna be fuuuuuuuuucked.

Same, Zig. Same.

Zack is poking fun at how snobby Mr. and Mrs. Ashton are, and good guy Chris defends them. We’ve met them before, so we of all people should know, right? Well, I didn’t love them, but they were tolerable. I did have a thing for James and they actually kind of brought us together, which I love. Even though I broke up with James, I still respect him greatly and would be open to getting back together under the condition he quits wearing that hipster outfit and that he’s not a douche anymore. It was hard breaking up with him because I was so whipped for him in all three books, but then he kind of turned into a fuckboy and that is #NotMyStyle.

I’ll say James’ parents are an acquired taste, because that’s exactly what they are. Some will like them, some won’t. MC advises them that while it’s okay for us to stay at their place, we should be on our best behavior. And honestly, that’s what any decent guest should do. Don’t act like an ape at someone else’s expense.

Good news! James’ parents are letting up on the writing thing, which is great! I was hoping they would come around. James is such a natural at writing and he genuinely loves the craft. That should be enough for parents, even if I do understand wanting the legacy to continue on and wanting a good, stable life for their child. At some point, you have to learn to let baby bird fly away.

Hopefully his parents aren’t still upset about the fiancée thing, ‘cause that would suck. Build a bridge, bruh. They’d probably be less upset though if we were still with James. But alas, that ship has sailed and I’m not getting back on it unless I see changes.

That’s right, Zig doesn’t know about basically anything our group has gone through in the first two books! Story time?

Almost story time. Damn you, Zack, for finding the house and shit. And apparently James has left the house unlocked for us, which I think is dumb. Just because you’re in the middle of nowhere doesn’t mean people won’t come steal your stuff. Also, be a good host and greet your damn guests at the door!

Alright, we get the staircase from the Cordonia’s castle! You’d think they could be a little more original with it. We first meet up with James’ mother, Olivia. She remembers us! Kind of hard to forget the woman that pretended to be engaged to your son though. Especially on the same night that your son admits he’s been lying to you for months now and is actually planning on doing nothing with the family firm you’ve been guiding him to all his life...

The boys leave the room and we’re left alone with Mrs. Ashton. She’s being very hospitable, and I wouldn’t have really expected anything else. What’s the point of being rude to someone you allowed into your home? We’ll tell Mrs. Ashton that it’s a pleasure to see her again, because it is. I’d rather just start from scratch with James’ parents, honestly.

Approval points for politeness!

She smiles at us!!! She seems to be on the same page as me. Mrs. Ashton then apologizes to us for being pulled into the middle of family problems that we had absolutely nothing to do with and she says she doesn’t hold our deceit against us. At least she knows how loyal we are to her boy!

‘Dear friend’

Is that all he said about us? And by us, I mean the people who dated James and then broke up with him when he was being a fuckboy?

All of the boys come back from moving the luggage, and Mrs. Ashton asks us about our trip. Honestly, during school, I never had anything to do over the summer, so I’d be looking forward to this trip. Approval points for not wanting to be lazy!

‘I’m not really one to sit around the house all summer’

This MC is not me. The past six summers I was forced to stay home and babysit. :/

James’ father George arrives! I hope he’s also chill with us. He says it’s nice to see us, so it’s a start! He introduces himself to the boys. Mr. Ashton pinpoints Chris as the football star of our group, and says he used to play rugby before school got in the way. Chris can sympathize, as being student body president isn’t easy to juggle life with. We can all recognize that, after all the shit from Book 3 that went down.

James’ father is impressed with that! Aaaaand they’re kind of down in the dumps about James not having that to add on his résumé. Olivia seems really upset that the movie deal fell through. I wonder how much James told his parents about what happened in LA.

Hmm, what to say... I don’t really feel like I have the right to tell them that it’s James’ life and not there’s. That’s something only James can say. Also, where is James, exactly? Anyway, we’ll tell her he left because he was miserable.

Ooooh, approval points!

She understands. She loves her son and wants the best for him, but doesn’t want him to hit an emotional health low. Good mama. His papa was worried about him too. They really do love their son, people who said that they didn’t. So take that!

OH FUCKING HELL HE’S STILL WEARING THAT STUPID HIPSTER OUTFIT THAT IS NOT THE JAMES I FELL FOR EWWWWWWW

James enters the room suddenly and I hope he plans on changing his clothes before we leave because otherwise I’m not letting him in the fucking van. DON’T HUG ME WITH THOSE GLASSES ON DAMMIT I’LL LET THE FLANNEL SLIDE BECAUSE I LOVE PLAID BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

Honestly, I wouldn’t be so salty if the red in the shirt was a blue color. Like a darker blue, almost purple shade. And the glasses were gone because they look dumb. And honestly, I’m fine with the shirt he’s got on underneath the plaid one.

The Ashtons are heading for a vacation in Greece, so the place will be all ours. Oh lordy. There’s a winery; we’re gonna get smashed. Can we get some kind of drama to this story now? It’s kind of boring with all this setup. There better be decent payoff, because nobody likes foreplay without an orgasm. Well, some people do, but not in the literary sense, anyway.

Zack is teasing James on the plaid.

James says it’s summer, so he’s gotta stay cool. And then he mentions his lightweight sweaters are at the dry cleaners. <3 But, let’s be honest, PB didn’t feel like animating new designs. The only one so far who has gotten lucky is Zack. Bastard.

James tells us he’ll be at Hartfeld next year, as he didn’t get all of his credits the previous year. And I’m sitting here like ‘i thought he was a junior this whole time shit’

Super senior James! That feels odd to say.

He says it’ll be good for him and give him more time to figure things out. He may even stay longer! Might as well start on a master’s degree. He says he’d like to enjoy the real world though.

Tour time! Horses first! After our latest encounter in The Royal Romance, all I can say that will make this chapter worth playing is if Drake saves us from being run over. Otherwise, I’m pretty bored.

Same background as in The Royal Romance too. Does that bug anyone else like it bugs me? It’s just the continuity of it all and I’m kind of OCD in that sense and it messes with me, not because I think that PB should design a new background for everything.

Zack tells a total dad joke and James might as well just prep himself for the road trip because that’s all it’s gonna consist of.

AWWW ZIG IS PETTING A HORSE AND HE’S SO GIDDY ABOUT IT

He likes animals! Ugh, he’s such a dork and I love him.

Lmao a horse is using us to rest its head on. Same. We’ll ask for the horse’s name.

Shut up, Chris, that was meant for James to intercept and tell us.

Apples McHooves? What the hell, Zack? He must be inhaling leftover pot from the van.

The horse’s name is Ezra! Isn’t that the teacher dude from PLL? Idk, all I know about PLL is what’s on Episode. Also, didn’t they say they would update that in January? I haven’t seen an update on it yet!

YES I WANT TO EARN THE HORSE’S LOVE FOREVER AND IF YOU WANT TO EARN MINE TAKE OFF THE GLASSES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

Yaaaay, we get to feed him! Maybe Zack should get a pet! He’d probably like a cat. They’re lovely. Assholes, but also lovely.

We inform James on the breakup and for the billionth time we’re hearing about it. Good god end this torture.

Fuck me I hope this is a premium choice ‘cause I’m gonna skip it so hard!

FUCK YEAH PREMIUM CHOICE WOOOO THIS DAMN CHAPTER WILL END SOON!

Sorry, Ezra. And sorry, Zig. But I have no interest in horseback riding as it is. At least James will back us up, even if he does have his sad face on. Fuck you and your attempted guilt trip, game.

Nap time!

Zack wakes us up when they’re done.

Wine cellar time!

Who needs this much wine?

Is this all this chapter is going to be? The boys amazed at the richness and me being bored out of my mind?

James takes us to where the magic happens, in his own words. I wonder if they make the wine themselves of if they have it made for them?

Little bit of both.

Ahh, here’s where the MC gets to make a fool of herself. We fall into the vat of grapes. Lovely feeling, I’m sure. At least James is cool about it.

OH FUCK FOOD FIGHT MAYBE JAMES WILL CHANGE HIS FUCKING CLOTHES AFTER

Chris, did you really need to remind all of us that you’re a quarterback?

Also, this is not our best behavior.

I just noticed Chris is wearing that hot white shirt of his again. Sweet!

Alone time with James now. I wonder if they were creative enough to do the ‘we were in a relationship and now we’re not’ kind of connection between books.

James grinning ‘wolfishly’ is so fucking hot omg

20 diamonds for a food fight part 2? DA FUCK?!

Nah, I’m fine.

After cleaning up and having dinner, we head to bed. Someone’s at the door though. James?

Yup.

We chat with him a bit about the bed and how he’s got plans for us in the Big Apple. And then we finally hit the end.

Until next week! Hopefully I’m more entertained by it.

[dspre]

How do you create OCs without making them first on wizard101? I find it very hard to make new OCs besides the ONE on wizzy because I don't have them "made" on the game (or leveled up, for that matter). I find it really hard and I hate being a perfectionist about it o;

Short answer: idk lol

Long answer: I don’t know haha

Answer that gives actual information: Let’s see if I can make this shorter than a river, shall we? (Spoiler, I can’t. This answer is one thousand words long.) 

You may have seen me post an out-of-context metaphor a moment ago: characters are pearls. Pearls, as you probably know, are formed when an irritant, sometimes a grain of sand, gets into an oyster. The oyster coats it with layers of goop, the goop hardens, and then humans find it and go Ooh, shiny. Pearls don’t pop out of nowhere. Characters also don’t pop out of nowhere. You build them around something. 

In-game characters don’t work very well for me as that sand grain, because not many of the attributes apply to my universe or my story (for instance, levels aren’t a thing, non-human characters are, and many of my OCs are adults), and there’s no personality to them, they just go with the plot, and their backstory is “Ambrose plucked them out of thin air.” I don’t understand how people make OCs out of them, but obviously they do, and fabulously at that. 

I use other things. I have a janitor I named after a type of cell, because that type of cell acts like a janitor. I have a supergod I named after our galaxy supercluster. I’m in the middle of reblogging a lot of tag-your-OC posts to a sideblog to draw ideas from. Hat Lord started as a literal joke, then became an imaginary friend, and I don’t know how av got into AGP. The alternate universe Sabrina Greenstars also started as a joke. 

Sometimes I just need a character somewhere, so one shows up (have a library? Have a librarian). Sometimes I try to figure out who my background characters are, and they become people (your character has bumped into someone, who are they? Why were they there? Why weren’t they looking where they were going?). Speaking of background characters, try to make them recur (AGP has a scene where Eth is walking down a side street and sees a person, Feef, and later when Talon and Iridian are asking if anyone has seen Eth, Feef is who replies “yes”). 

As for personalities, I write. This may be why I’ve been having trouble lately. My characters lack depth, so I don’t write, so my characters lack depth. Do you see my problem? 

Anyway, I go into waaaaay too much detail in my story. I sometimes call it ‘scenery porn’ because I just have to describe every single tiny thing Eth sees. This means I add random actions to new characters, because otherwise you would hardly notice they were there in between the descriptions of the wallpaper, the scent of spices, and exactly which spices they might be, the creaking of the floorboards, etc., ad nauseam. And then I read way too much into them. Did they doodle something in their notebook? They’re an artist. Were they humming? Musician. Were they throwing shade? Ooh, there’s a lot you could do with that. And make sure to ask a ton of followup questions. 

I also find that there’s a fine balance between boredom and Mary Suedom. My main (and viewpoint) character has brown hair, brown eyes, and is only one inch away from the average height for her race and gender. She listens to popular music, doesn’t dress too outlandishly, and has pretty common career aspirations. That said, she’s mute, so not entirely the average template. But most importantly, you see her personality. She has thoughts and opinions and makes decisions on her own, she’s not just shunted around by the plot. She’s also not a perfect angel. Some of her decisions are stupid, or vindictive. 

I think having a relatively average main character is a good idea. I’m always wary of stories where the main character shows up already knowing loads of magic, or being old friends with the Drakes, or being Super Snarky and mouthing off at Cyrus, and of course having silver hair and purple eyes and never-before-seen powers. Tread carefully if you decide to do these. 

For side characters, I find average doesn’t work. I already have a story for my main, it’s this one, so I need something else interesting for the others. Don’t be afraid to give them weird backstories and reasons for doing things. For instance, I just saw a prompt (that I am going to use, so I say this at some risk) for a character who learned to draw photorealistically because they were the only witness to a major crime, and they couldn’t describe the perpetrator. 

Background characters are background characters, and you probably shouldn’t put too much thought into them unless you need more mains or sides, or you risk cluttering your story. (Pffhahaha look who’s talking.) 

Back to your original question, though, and getting it answered: You do need something to build on, but if you’re trying to build on something other than what you’re used to, you’ll have to make an effort at it. It won’t happen by itself. 

Other pointers: Try to figure out where there would be a person. Has your character been thrust into a new place with nobody they know (like Wysteria, perhaps)? They’ll likely try to make friends, or at least allies. Does your character go to a coffeeshop? If they’re the outgoing type, they might chat with the barista. Is there somewhere your character isn’t supposed to be? There’s probably a guard. 

One place to start other characters would be, as I said, tag-your-OC blogs. 

Here is Springhole. Read it. All of it. It also has good random generators, many of which are for the express purpose of being sand grains. 

Here are some other generators I like, but most are just for names. 

Here is a character prompt blog I like, and I’m sure you can find more with that handy little search bar on the top left of your screen. 

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

asks (22)

Anonymous said: Fake-Dick death angst headcanons? Sorry if you already did this tho

*finger guns*

There’s also some in here and a couple fics over here :)

Anonymous said: I want to start reading the comics where Damian first appeared. Do you know which comic that would be? Thank you!

Sure thing! That’d be Batman and Son (2006), Batman #655-658. After that it’s The Resurrection of Ra’s al Ghul.

@macko-99 said: Amy was it you who wrote Batman #16? It looks like something you would write. P.S. I hope you're having a great day. ☺

Lmao yeah it does kinda remind me of this one. I think most of us have written a restaurant fic or two in out time, but it was interesting to see it in canon. I wish I really could claim credit for it, mostly because that would mean I have a job (@DC please hire me. I don’t have a job. Catch me while you can)

And thank you, my day is going pretty well so far <3

Anonymous said: WHY ISNT DEXTER SOY THE ARTIST FOR RHATO REBIRTH ANYMORE?!?!???!?!??!!? HIS STYLE IS BEAUTIFULLLL!!!!!! WILL HE BE BACK??? (srry for the caps...)

Ah well artists move around a fair amount. I think a lot of times they get offered a specific number of issues, and then they’re out.I’m afraid I don’t know if he’ll ever be back

@therobin53 said: If the Batfamily attempted the Krispy Kreme Challenge, who would come out on top (without puking)?

Jeeeeez I had to look that challenge up, and kinda wish I hadn’t, because that sounds awful

Suppose I’d go with Tim or Dick tho

Anonymous said: I love all the Drake Protection Squad fics, but I was wondering how Harper Row would play into them. Would she help Damian and Jason with Tim, or would she be more like Tim (not taking care of herself)? Or do you think she would get involved at all? Anyway, I love all your headcanons, thank you so much for all of them!

Hmmmm she’s got a pretty strong protection instinct and very little regard for what Tim wants her to do, so I reckon she’d be more on Damian’s side of things. Problem is, she doesn’t know Damian, so I don’t think she’d ever be in a position to get involved. 

Anonymous said: Who's the scariest batboy? Like, who's the one that the others would at least low-key fear if they were villains? Who's the one no one wants to get on the bad side of?

Well on the one hand Jason totally kills people, and the rest of them don’t do that. On the other hand, Dick is scary as hell and I would never cross him ever

Anonymous said: *raises hand* Mother, do you know when Steph learned that Bruce Wayne was Batman?I've been trying to find it, but haven't had any luck so far.

Hm.... that one might be a little up in the air? I can tell you exactly when she found out who Tim was (Robin 87):

At this point, however, Tim’s birth dad was still alive, and he wasn’t living at Wayne Manor, so knowing about Tim doesn’t definitely mean she knew about Bruce. That impression gets reinforced over here

where “Who pays for all of this?” makes it pretty clear she doesn’t know. Worth noting that this panel occurred before the Tim reveal though.

I skimmed through Steph’s Robin run and the first bit of War Games, and I couldn’t find any time that she referred to Bruce by his name-- it’s always “Batman” even though she does use Tim’s first name in her mind. She didn’t know Catwoman’s secret identity, and she didn’t know that Matches Malone was one of Bruce’s aliases. Bruce always wears his cowl around her. I don’t think we ever get to see her find out?

She died/fake-died at the end of War Games, and she definitely knew by the time she came back. The cowl comes off in Robin 174, but you’ll notice she doesn't seem surprised.

After that, she refers to Bruce by name a lot. It’s possible that there is an explicit reveal that I’m missing? But I’ve never seen one

Anonymous said: Have you ever thought about the culture clash that would have happened when dick first showed up? Traveling Romanian “g***y” boy who grew up in a circus with a huge circle of people who counted as family, meets super rich emotionally closed off bachelor who’s literally only had Alfred. Batman probably got along with dick better than bruce did at that point.

Okay I’m.... guessing by the quotation marks that you know that word is a racial slur, but I’m gonna go ahead and star it out anyways.

Beyond that, yeah, I always figured Dick and Alfred got on immediately because of the performer angle. Alfred was a Shakespearean actor, and I reckon that would have felt familiar. I have a fic about it over here

@therobin53 said: Just listening to a playlist full of sneaking music for midnight snacking, and had an image of Alfred cleaning the manor like Christopher Walken in the Weapon of Choice music video. Do you think he does that when the manor is empty?

Pfffft that’s a great image, and I certainly hope he does

@quadpen said: Do you have any opinions on the rhato rebirth?

Hmm not strong ones, I guess. I definitely appreciate the move back to Jason’s post-crisis origin story, but I still don’t trust anything written by Scott Lobdell.

I’ll also say-- and RHATO isn’t the only book guilty of this one-- I don’t like it when Bruce’s attitude towards the Red Hood is “well maybe it’s good that there’s someone to do the things Batman won’t do.” I consider that kind of tacit endorsement very out of character for Bruce. The fact that Jason kills needs to be a huge problem for him. I can take it when he sort of ignores it and pretends like he doesn’t know what’s going on, but for him to explicitly say yes, this is going on, and I think it’s a good thing? Not a fan.

Anonymous said: Imagine Jason and Dick doing that acrobatic maneuver together??? Like??? I need a fanart gif of that

Pretty cool, right?

Anonymous said: I just thought about an au where Cass is a dancer because it's an awesome way to express herself without needing words and I'm :') idk i just felt like sharing I guess??? Sorry for bothering you

Cute!

Anonymous said: When you get this, please respond with five things that make you happy. Then send to the last ten people in your notifications anonymously. (✿╹◡╹)

Hm post offices, chocolate cake, anything that glows in the dark, spoons, straight lines

Anonymous said: Hi I'm here for the ace in the hole project how do I sign up

Greetings, new applicant! Due to the wide-scale success of our program, we have moved into a localized recruitment model. If you are still interested in joining our organization, please contact your local office with your completed application and schedule. Snacks are provided. Thank you for your interest!

Anonymous said: Hi! First off, I want to say that I love your blog and all your headcanons. They're seriously the best. Do you have any more songs for the different members of the batfamily/bat-affiliates, especially unusual characters like Harper Row or Maps? Thank you for your time!

Oh hm I always forget which songs I posted, so bear with me if there are any repeats here. I don’t actively search for this kind of thing, so all I can give you are the ones that I already associate with characters... which means nobody unusual. Sorry bout that

Laura Palmer (Bastille): Jason

21st Century Breakdown (Green Day): Tim as Robin

Great Big Storm (Nate Ruess): Dick

Wait For It (Hamilton Soundtrack): Tim

Gavi’s Song (Lindsey Stirling): Damian

Alone Together (Fallout Boy): Jason

Drown (Seafret): Tim

I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For (either the U2 version or Peter Hollens/Sabrina Carpenter): Stephanie

There’s a certain kind of music that always reminds me of Dick for some reason, and these are all it:

The Parting Glass (Peter Hollens)

Happiness (Needtobreathe)

Hallelujah (Pentatonix)

Also just because you specifically asked about Maps, the first song I think about is My Eyes from Doctor Horrible’s Singalong Blog. Don’t ask me why. Seems like something she would like singing I guess. For Harper it’s I Wanna Get Better (Bleachers)

Anonymous said: Sorry you didn't get that job :/ not that a strangers consolation on the internet will do you that much good but i'm sure the next thing you apply for will feel all the better when you get it as a result

Ah it sucked, but I’ll get over it. I suppose I’ll start applying to law schools now :/

What are things/concepts/aesthetics you associate with me?

Anonymous said: For things I associate with you? I often think about you in relation to family, because of the great things you say about yours, and the lovely stories you write about the batfam. Also the colors red, green, and yellow, because duh

Ohhhh that’s good that makes me very happy

@accidentallyhopeful said: I associate you with warm hot chocolate, the smell of old books, and pens that have spilled ink everywhere

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ thank you

Anonymous said: aesthetic- rain and freshly sharpened pencils

Oh I like that yes I do

@inkdropfox said: southern accents, sweet tea, cheeseburgers, surprise presents, history, damian wayne, batfamily, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and the (ง •̀_•́)ง emoji

GOOD

You never did get back to me on the sweet tea thing, did you? I’m guessing that means you didn't like it. Outrageous. Heretical. Unacceptable. 

Anonymous said: batfamily, angst, and jail.

How did you know I went to jail

[uncvtgems]

✩ binch

im so tired

                         Cliff/Naomi — 

DISAGREEMENTS:

Who is more likely to raise their voice: NaomiWho threatens to leave but never actually does: CliffWho actually keeps their word and leaves?: Naomi, but not for very longWho trashes the house?: Both of them, but I feel like Cliff is the only one who cleansDo either of them get physical?: nahHow often do they argue/disagree?: not very often (lol @ us when we said they’d never argue, and then they fought in our next thread)Who is the first to apologise?: Cliff

SEX:

Who is on top?: eitherWho is on the bottom?: this is a dumb question (see above)Who has the strangest desires?: CliffAny kinks?: yeah Cliff likes to play Drake’s Take Care on loop and Naomi’s probably into being choked lol she wildWho’s dominant in bed?: Naomi Is head ever in the equation?: I meeeean, I’d assume so, lmaoIf so, who is better at performing it?: Naomi? bruh idkEver had sex in public?: Naomi’s probably wanted to but Cliff hits with the “no wtf we’re not animals” Who moans the most?: NaomiWho leaves the most marks?: Naomi Who screams the loudest?: Naomi, lmaoWho is the more experienced of the two?: not CliffDo they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?: l-u-v bc they’re lameRough or soft?: ummm bothHow long do they usually last?: a crisp 45 minutes, maybe an hourIs protection used?: r u crazy, yesDoes it ever get boring?: nahWhere is the strangest place they’d have sex?: apartment balcony? we just don’t know

FAMILY:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children?: don’t have any, don’t plan to, but shit happens I suppose If so, how many children do your muses want/have?: Cliff probably wants one, idk manWho is the favorite parent?: NaomiWho is the authoritative parent?: CliffWho is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school?: Naomi, but Cliff would be okay with it too lbrWho lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around?: CliffWho turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children?: Cliff, and Naomi when she can Who goes to parent teacher interviews?: both (I guess)Who changes the diapers?: Cliff, or quite honestly, the nanny Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby: they take turnsWho spends the most time with the children?: CliffWho packs their lunch boxes?: um themselves (or Cliff probably) Who gives their children ‘the talk’?: NaomiWho cleans up after the kids?: a maid, tfWho worries the most?: CliffWho are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from?: both lmao

AFFECTION:

Who likes to cuddle?: bothWho is the little spoon?: Naomi, but sometimes Cliff Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?: Naomi Who struggles to keep their hands to themself?: both (lame)  How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?: trick questionWho gives the most kisses?: Cliff What is their favourite non-sexual activity?: this thingWhere is their favourite place to cuddle?: anywhere smh i hate themWho is more likely to playfully grope the other?: Naomi How often do they get time to themselves?: basically whenever Naomi’s in town/when they become hermits 

SLEEPING:

Who snores?: neitherDo they share a bed or sleep separately?: shareIf they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?: cozyWho talks in their sleep?: NaomiWhat do they wear to bed?: Naomi wears literally lingerie, and we just dont know what Cliff wearsAre either of your muses insomniacs?: Naomi’s a crackhead, you tell meCan sleeping pills be found by the bedside?: its lit so yeahDo they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?: they’re re: getting cozyWho wakes up with bed hair?: NaomiWho wakes up first: CliffWho prepares breakfast in bed for the other?: Cliff What is their favourite sleeping position? real close and tangled up with each other Who hogs the sheets?: NaomiDo they set an alarm each night?: nahCan a television be found in their bedroom?: yes, but only to watch movies with each otherWho has nightmares?: uh Cliff idkWho has ridiculous dreams?: NaomiWho sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?: NaomiWho makes the bed?: neitherWhat time is bed time?: whenever my dudeAny routines/rituals before bed?: weed and a movie, or s/tWho’s the grumpiest when they wake up?: Naomi

WORK:

Who is the busiest?: NaomiWho rakes in the highest income?: NaomiAre any of your muses unemployed?: noWho takes the most sick days?: neither??Who is more likely to turn up late to work?: NaomiWho sucks up to their boss?: CliffWhat are their jobs?: Naomi’s a model, Cliff’s a tattoo artistWho stresses the most?: they’re chillin Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?: Naomi’s whatever about her’s, Cliff loves hisAre your muses financially stable?: hell yea

HOME:

Who does the washing?: CliffWho takes out the trash?: CliffWho does the ironing?: CliffWho does the cooking?: if making instant noodles counts, then CliffWho is more likely to burn the house down just trying?: NaomiWho is messier?: NaomiWho leaves the toilet roll empty?: neitherWho leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?: NaomiWho forgets to flush the toilet?: neitherWho is the prankster around the house?: both, but mostly Cliff Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?: Cliff Who mows the lawn?: lol what lawnWho answers the telephone?: bothWho does the vacuuming?: CliffWho does the groceries?: Cliff Who takes the longest to shower?: NaomiWho spends the most time in the bathroom?: Naomi

MISCELLANEOUS:

Is money a problem?: lol noHow many cars do they own?: none atm, but probably several in the futureDo they own their home or do they rent? ownDo they live near the coast or deep in the countryside?: neitherDo they live in the city or in the country?: cityDo they enjoy their surroundings?: yeWhat’s their song?: east atlanta santa  What do they do when they’re away from each other?: facetime a lot tbhWhere did they first meet?: at Kit and Teagan’s, probably How did they first meet?: their dads pushed them together Who spends the most money when out shopping?: Naomi Who’s more likely to flash their assets?: Naomi Who finds it amusing when the other trips over?: bothAny mental issues?: don’t think soWho’s terrified of bugs?: neitherWho kills the spiders around the house?: NaomiTheir favourite place?: the clurb, or their apartment honestly Who pays the bills?: NaomiDo they have any fears for their future?: Cliff might (like thinking Naomi doesn’t love him the same way he loves her, yikes) but she doesn’t Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?: bothWho uses up all of the hot water?: NaomiWho’s the tallest?: Cliff Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?: NaomiWho wanders around in their underwear?: Naomi Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?: NaomiWhat do they tease each other about?: Naomi teases him about his nameWho is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?: NaomiDo they have mutual friends?: more like mutual frenemiesWho crushed first?: Cliff Any alcohol or substance related problems?: oh boyWho is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?: both, or Naomi’s drunk and he’s helping her home Who swears the most?: tough call 

                      Maya/Jett – 

DISAGREEMENTS:

Who is more likely to raise their voice: MayaWho threatens to leave but never actually does: JettWho actually keeps their word and leaves?: MayaWho trashes the house?: both, but like, with artsy shit Do either of them get physical?: noHow often do they argue/disagree?: hmmm only every .02 seconds (though its more like Maya rolling her eyes at everything he says)Who is the first to apologise?: not Maya 

SEX:

Who is on top?: MayaWho is on the bottom?: hmmm idk u tell me Who has the strangest desires?: Jett, idk, he’s kinda weird Any kinks?: yea Maya’s kink is when he doesn’t talk Who’s dominant in bed?: MayaIs head ever in the equation?: sure If so, who is better at performing it?: Jett, but only because Maya doesn’t like doing it Ever had sex in public?: Maya loves herself (but maybe)Who moans the most?: MayaWho leaves the most marks?: Jett probs to piss her off Who screams the loudest?: neither Who is the more experienced of the two?: even playing fields my guy Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?: fuckRough or soft?: rough How long do they usually last?: we just dont know Is protection used?: re: r u crazyDoes it ever get boring?: ehh no Where is the strangest place they’d have sex?: art show

FAMILY:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children?: no and noIf so, how many children do your muses want/have?: idkWho is the favorite parent?: JettWho is the authoritative parent?: MayaWho is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school?: MayaWho lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around?: JettWho turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children?: bothWho goes to parent teacher interviews?: both Who changes the diapers?: bothWho gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby: again, bothWho spends the most time with the children?: Maya, idkWho packs their lunch boxes?: every man for themselves Who gives their children ‘the talk’?: MayaWho cleans up after the kids?: neither Who worries the most?: JettWho are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from?: Maya

AFFECTION:

Who likes to cuddle?: lol neither Who is the little spoon?: Maya Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?: Jett Who struggles to keep their hands to themself?: neither  How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?: literally 10-15 minutes Who gives the most kisses?: Jett, idkWhat is their favourite non-sexual activity?: being pretentious art hoes Where is their favourite place to cuddle?: nowhere Who is more likely to playfully grope the other?: MayaHow often do they get time to themselves?: sometimes 

SLEEPING:

Who snores?: JettDo they share a bed or sleep separately?: share ocassionaly If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?: start out spart, end up together Who talks in their sleep?: Maya What do they wear to bed?: both wear t-shirts probably Are either of your muses insomniacs?: don’t think so Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?: nopeDo they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?: side by sideWho wakes up with bed hair?: JettWho wakes up first: MayaWho prepares breakfast in bed for the other?: neither, or maybe Jett. who knows. What is their favourite sleeping position?: ?? we dont knowWho hogs the sheets?: bothDo they set an alarm each night?: noCan a television be found in their bedroom?: nahWho has nightmares?: maybe bothWho has ridiculous dreams?: Maya Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?: Jett (Maya’s too tiny for that)Who makes the bed?: MayaWhat time is bed time?: like 5amAny routines/rituals before bed?: noWho’s the grumpiest when they wake up?: Maya

WORK:

Who is the busiest?: neither lbrWho rakes in the highest income?: again, neither lmaoAre any of your muses unemployed?: no, but are they really employed anywayWho takes the most sick days?: u can’t take a sick day from artWho is more likely to turn up late to work?: MayaWho sucks up to their boss?: Jett What are their jobs?: Maya’s an artist, Jett’s a photographer (supposedly), and both students Who stresses the most?: they’re chillin Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?: they’re both annoying n passionate Are your muses financially stable?: i mean, their parents are 

HOME:

Who does the washing?: MayaWho takes out the trash?: JettWho does the ironing?: neither Who does the cooking?: its about the take out lifeWho is more likely to burn the house down just trying?: JettWho is messier?: MayaWho leaves the toilet roll empty?: neitherWho leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?: JettWho forgets to flush the toilet?: neitherWho is the prankster around the house?: i mean, Maya can’t take a joke soWho loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?: MayaWho mows the lawn?: whats a lawnWho answers the telephone?: bothWho does the vacuuming?: JettWho does the groceries?: MayaWho takes the longest to shower?: JettWho spends the most time in the bathroom?: its about the same 

MISCELLANEOUS:

Is money a problem?: some whatHow many cars do they own?: zeroDo they own their home or do they rent? rentDo they live near the coast or deep in the countryside?: neither?Do they live in the city or in the country?: cityDo they enjoy their surroundings?: sureWhat’s their song?: ill have to get back to uWhat do they do when they’re away from each other?: chill Where did they first meet?: on the streets How did they first meet?: Maya started painting him without asking #classis Who spends the most money when out shopping?: JettWho’s more likely to flash their assets?: hm neither Who finds it amusing when the other trips over?: both but especially Maya Any mental issues?: don’t think soWho’s terrified of bugs?: neitherWho kills the spiders around the house?: Jett Their favourite place?: somewhere annoying Who pays the bills?: bothDo they have any fears for their future?: probs about getting jobs idekWho’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?: good questionWho uses up all of the hot water?: MayaWho’s the tallest?: JettWho’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?: Jett Who wanders around in their underwear?: MayaWho sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?: neither smhWhat do they tease each other about?: she teases him about everything Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?: bothDo they have mutual friends?: do theyWho crushed first?: hmAny alcohol or substance related problems?: nah we’re good Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?: Maya Who swears the most?: Maya

[lizzybeth1986]

Quick Thoughts on TRR Book 1 Chapter 8

• So…umm…I LOVE this chapter! More in hindsight than when I was actually playing it because back then it just sounded like a jealous woman trying to sabotage the MC and failing. But now having played through this chapter and even written a fic about it…I have to say there’s a lot going on in this one.

• I’ve often found the 8th chapter in the series pretty interesting. This was the first chapter in the series to feature diamond scenes from all three of the original LIs in a single chapter. This would happen again in Book 2, but by Book 2 the imbalance was a lot more tangible. I will speak more about this later…but suffice to say that back when we had just two books in the series, I would call the 8th chapter The Magical Number Eight.

• A common misconception that seems to stem from this chapter (and others, often by Kiara-haters) is that Kiara “agrees to be our friend” this chapter, and then jumps ship to Madeleine in Book 2. That’s bullshit. Kiara never mentions the word friend. She says ally. And she delivers.

• THIS is also where you get the first little inkling that Maxwell could be romanced, though we would only know for sure by the middle of Book 2. This chapter is also where you also get the first of many Drake’s plot related scenes. Which meant that sometimes, even if a fan did not like him, they would end up buying his scenes anyway for some crumb of information on their LI. Drake was already getting popular, but dropping hints of plot into his scenes gave him an added edge and often encouraged fans of other LIs who didn’t like him, to buy his scenes.

• Anyway, since the buildup took an entire chapter, the book pushes us straight into the dressing room for this one!

• Title: A Waltz to Remember.

Alternative Title: Lizzy Turns This QT into a Kiara Gush-fest And Does Not Regret It (Even If It Gave Her Hand-Cramps).

I love how over the course of three books, this particular dance form of Cordonia has gained the importance it has. And it’s lovely how - even though we’re not meant to like Olivia at this point - our first glimpse of Cordonian culture through this dance, is in her estate.

• Hana’s silver dress makes its debut here! Honestly, I kinda would’ve liked this one a LOT better as a gown than as the bodycon it eventually became. That pleated bodice really needed a long, flowy skirt to work. I’m always going to be a little sore they made it a short bodycon instead 😑

• Okay I love both our options for the ball, okay. They’re both big, and glamorous, and make a real statement. Which is necessary, because the plan is to show Olivia up at her own home.

Winter Goddess is gorgeous - it has that vintage Hollywood feel to me, and the caption for it sounds pretty romantic (“will capture the winter moonlight”). Snowflake Sweetheart is very on-point for the whole snow/ice theme Lythikos itself has going on. I’m very fond of the crystals and the illusion sleeves on the second one….but I have to say that silk-satin one with the fur stole is the winner for me 😅

Me Back Then (on one of my million replays): If I really have to take a diamond option, I’m taking the second one. I’m cheap.

Me Now: Still cheap. I’m not spending 25 whole diamonds on another gown when there’s already a cute one free in my closet.

• Maxwell is trying hard to channel Bertrand 2.0, and is badgered enough by 1.0 over the phone to almost succeed.

• One of the formal phrases he uses is “a diamond of the first water”, a phrase you’d see very commonly in the Regency era…which kind of solidifies my belief that Regency England was one of their world building inspirations even back then.

• We don’t fully understand the kind of power the hostess can wield in her homeplace, until this sequence. On principle, Olivia is not exactly answerable to anyone, not even the royals visiting her in Lythikos - she can decide on seat arrangements, she can give instructions to the staff on who gets the best portions of the meals and who gets the worst, she can monopolize on the Prince’s time with her if she wants. And she takes full advantage of that.

• However, her being the hostess doesn’t always leave her completely free to do what she wants, without consequences. Lythikos is not just a turning point for us - it’s one for her as well. And not exactly in a good way.

• Here’s what Olivia does to sabotage us at the ball:

- seats us away from our sponsor, and away from the head table. In fact this is something she does to all the suitors - Maxwell tells us that not a single one has a place at the head table.

- seats us way back, next to a commoner who is also constantly given the same treatment - which Hana points out is meant to be viewed in the court as an insult. To an MC who is still learning the ways of the nobility, this move is pretty much a miss…but it does give us a very clear idea of how hypocritical the nobility and royalty can be. Hana is not immune to the prejudice either (seen as she does not censor the statement when she says it in front of Drake, a commoner), but she eventually grows to fiercely guard him and defend him from those kind of attitudes later on… and you can see a lot of that growth in TRH’s Walker Ranch chapters.

- has her servers give us ice-cold lobster bisque on purpose, thirty minutes after serving has begun. With no lobster in it. Remember, we’re in a wintry region where you require piping hot, creamy, fattening foods to stay warm. This isn’t just ruining a meal: Olivia is sending a clear message about how unwelcome they are, by giving them cold food devoid of the main protein, in the freezing cold of Lythikos.

- given the timing of her kiss on Liam during the waltz, she probably did that to send a message to us as well. It happens shortly after our dance with him, and from her reaction (angry, immediately establishing claim on him) to Liam’s dance with the MC, we can tell she’s more affected than she’d like to admit, and that’s what informs her actions during her second dance with him.

• Me Back Then: There is a nice option and a rude option. It’s Drake, but he’s Liam’s bff and I want to be nice.

(+ romance point)

Me Back Then:

Me Now: Romance points in Lythikos fall from Drake the way pee falls from someone with weak kegels. One tiny laugh and pssssshhhh.

• From the rude option you find out that Drake plays chess and often wins in his matches with Liam, so that’s a nice touch.

• The MC can acquire the fresh bisque for herself and her friends if she dramatically faints in front of a server. I quite like this (optional) moment because it shows her thinking on her feet and quickly ensuring she gets her way. The other options are pretty hilarious too, though, the obnoxious “do you know who I am” option comes with a Game of Thrones reference 😂

•

Me Back Then: …someone should leave Drake hungry at a party till the wee hours of the morning with access to only whiskey bottles. Whiskey for entrèe, whiskey for main, maybe we’ll be kind and give him brandy for dessert. Let’s see how far his love for whiskey goes then 😈

Me Now: Holy shit, Me Back Then, you just predicted the best scene in Book 3 🤣.

• One of my favourite TRR Tumblr posts ever, was the one where someone took a screenshot of Drake saying “I’m not one to complain about food” from this chapter, and placed a gif of Nicholas Fraser’s “Why You Always Lying” lyrics just beneath it 😄 If that isn’t the truth idk what is.

• Most of the chapter after this will focus on the Cordonian Waltz, Olivia’s little stunt and getting allies, so the buildup to Drake’s scene will happen now (and Hana’s just before we meet Drake). Hana will be dancing with Tariq, and then other partners in the meantime, so no opportunities to dance with her there.

I loved this dialogue option when I first saw it, but now that I know how much in love with dancing Maxwell is, this scene is ten times more fun! 😃

• On first playthrough…this didn’t seem like that big a problem. Maxwell was fun, and seemed to genuinely like us, and was berated a great deal by Bertrand - so it was easier then to perhaps forgive his gaffes and want to comfort him instead. But when you approach his character as someone who brought a complete foreigner to his country and then didn’t make much of an effort to educate her with what little time they both had…I wind up finding his character a lot less endearing. I’m honestly more irritated by his carelessness. There was a lot he could have done even if he forgot or didn’t know what to do. He could have asked around! Hana was right in front of him! He could have found out what to prepare for if he didn’t know or if Bertrand didn’t handhold him (which Bertrand himself isn’t exactly doing a good job of in the first place). The other LIs shouldn’t have to constantly step in and do his job as sponsor and guide!

• It’s only when we’re dancing that Maxwell realizes he’s not taught us the dance. Of course, if you bought Hana’s waltz scene, she whispers her advice just before you dance with him, and you give her credit for teaching you. If not, you go into it knowing very little (but because the options are easy to choose from, so you can still manage). Maxwell does explain its uniqueness in terms of the flirting potential and the fact that it’s a courtship dance…but the true beauty of that description only comes with Hana.

• Istg, if Hana weren’t around to repeatedly save our ungrateful asses…

• So THIS is the first opportunity you get to ‘romance’ Maxwell. He looks sad and tells you that you should only be here for the Prince, but it’s also that vague kind of sadness that you can interpret differently and write detailed fanfics about! I think a huge part of Maxwell’s appeal (besides the overall sparkling personality, and the fact that he was so different from both Liam and Drake) was the “will-he-won’t-he” nature of the LI question itself.

• We now move on to Liam, who is fighting a losing battle with his desire to favour the MC exclusively, but wants her to know that she is special to him. Notably he does say this in the “courtship” part of the dance.

• How do you know that the Cordonian Waltz was a strategic choice? Because Olivia chose to dance with Liam twice! And because she’s the hostess, it’s harder for Liam to refuse.

I remember being pretty uncomfortable with this scene the first time I saw it, I still am, and often I wonder if I’m the only one who feels that way. Whenever I see this scene being referenced, it’s often referenced in the most flippant ways. And it baffles me.

• Honestly, Olivia was clearly overstepping her boundaries here and didn’t even bother to ask Liam before doing it (Liam himself mentions he was “caught by surprise” and calls it an “unexpected advance”). Was Olivia doing it out of complex, understandable reasons? Like jealousy or frustration or showing the MC up? Well, sure I guess. But it doesn’t take away from the fact that her doing so was nonconsensual and downright wrong.

The funny thing is often this incident is either downplayed or erased completely, especially in contexts where people try to argue that Olivia “deserves better” than Liam, or sympathize with her for loving a man who “does not care about her”.

Does Olivia deserve to be loved back by a person she loves? Absolutely.

Is Liam a lesser person for not loving her back? No, and he shouldn’t have to be penalized or judged by a fandom for not doing so.

Is the fact that most people who uphold this “penalizing/blaming Liam for not returning Olivia’s feelings” argument, also tend to forget/downplay this particular incident…particularly disturbing? Well, yeah, definitely.

• Even the narrative fails with regard to this, actually. It is written in a comical style, with a couple of out-there dialogue options (like screaming loud enough of break poor Maxwell’s eardrums) and the MC is given a chance to lash out at Liam for not reacting fast enough or throwing Olivia off of him. And guess what his reaction is. Sad, contrite, trying to explain his position. It’s almost like it’s okay for him to feel guilty about something that was done TO him, that he was never asked permission for.

Olivia does suffer consequences, but more for her “power play” than for anything else. Her move isn’t viewed as negative for what it may do to Liam, it is negative because it is seen as a direct “fuck you” she is delivering to her competitors. The scene itself is written for laughs…which I’m surprised more people don’t find even a little uncomfortable.

• The reactions from the other suitors is pretty on point for their character types at this point. Madeleine is smug and condescending, confident that she will never be “unrefined or insecure” enough for such “ostentatious displays” (says the woman who will bully her entire court, run around Italy roaring drunk and name a drink after herself in Book 2). Penelope doesn’t exactly have a personality at this point, she merely comments that the kiss was a bold play. It is Kiara who points out the power dynamics involved and views it as the last straw in her waning support for Olivia.

Remember - the ladies of the court weren’t treated half as badly as we were, but they were probably more aware (than us) that they were being denied a seat at the head table, and had to put up with Olivia monopolizing Prince Liam’s time. While Kiara’s suspicions that Olivia is “mad with power” here probably aren’t too far off the mark (even though her feelings of jealousy and confusion may be involved, we can’t deny that there is a clear sense of “I’m the hostess here, I can do what I want”), it’s not just an assumption that simply stems out of nowhere.

• Maxwell sees and opportunity to gain allies, and encourages us to capitalize on it. The wrong options are pretty interesting: if you mention “slapping the smirk off Olivia’s face”, Maxwell tells you that the political equivalent would be to “attack her alliances”. If you suggest making out with Liam in public, Maxwell exclaims that doing so would lead to people gunning after you. Which is telling, because in Book 1 PDA is mostly shown as being frowned upon in Cordonian society in general. So Olivia’s very public kiss isn’t just brazen and bold to the courtly ladies, but also viewed as inappropriate and a jab at their own lack of power in this situation.

• I love that Maxwell gets the opportunity to encourage us to play politics. Love it. He is the first one to notice the change in Kiara’s attitude towards Olivia, and he recognizes that the time is ripe for us to captialize on it. While Bertrand, or Bertrand-and-Maxwell, are the ones who tell us the importance of gaining support from the press and the royals, getting the court to support us is wholly Maxwell’s idea. This added another layer to the way he was built in the story, and I’m not happy that we didn’t see a lot of that perceptiveness and skill around court later on. By Books 2 and 3, he was mostly relegated to the funny guy, the court jester. Book 1 Maxwell may make a lot of mistakes but you bet he’d be too smart to toss brushettas in the face of dignitaries at the UN. It was like his own writers forgot Maxwell was capable of more.

• OKAY SO THE KIARA SECTION IS A FAVOURITE OF MINE OKAY. And it only wound up being a favourite when I realized there were changes in her dialogue between my Esther playthrough and my Persephone one. I mean if I weren’t already a fan of her…this definitely would have converted me.

Before I get into the actual gushing…I’ll just summarize what the MC has to do to gain her approval:

- Language: Kiara is known for her proficiency with languages - it is the skill that defines her in court (to the point that you barely notice her other qualities). Her home language is French, and if you know how to respond to comment ça va she is cheerful and more willing to hear you out (if you choose the fromage answer she’ll a bit surprised but not too hostile, and if you say voulez-vous coucher avec moi, well…of course she’ll be pissed off because you just accidentally asked her to sleep with you). In any case, to gain her approval you need to respond in French.

In fact even Kiara’s goodbyes vary based on whether she becomes your ally or not. If she’s your ally, she says à bientôt before leaving (which is “see you soon”). If she’s not convinced by your arguments, she says adieu, which has more of a sense of finality to it and is often said when you don’t expect to meet again (in fact I’m surprised they had her say it) and is different from au revior (which means “until we see each other again”).

- Olivia’s Actions: Kiara reiterates to you what she’d just told the others - Olivia is on a power trip, and while Kiki is well aware that she’s not a top contender in this competition, she is not going to stand for being treated like she is lesser than the ones who do have power. Interestingly, in both Chapter 7 of Book 2 and this chapter, Kiara’s first visible signs of discontent/frustration come when both Olivia/Madeleine go on massive power trips (“she even named a drink after herself. Quelle narcissique”, Kiara says about Madeleine in the next book).

I feel like Kiara’s frustration may have already been there with Olivia’s treatment of the ladies of the court at the start of the Ball (but perhaps she may have been brushed it aside as a strategy you could expect from a noblewoman in her own estate) but it is Olivia kissing Liam and trying to establish a claim on him that is seen as the tipping point for her.

However, she’s also pretty pragmatic and is lowkey impressed with Olivia if you state that she went too far. She is irritated by the message Olivia is sending, but acknowledges that not many would have dared to do that in her place. A more neutral response works well with Kiara’s train of thought, because to her the important thing is seeing what works in the long run, and the MC has to convince her that she is a good alternative.

- Alliance: Kiara already anticipates this, since she is the one who straight-out asks this question. At this point Kiara is not exactly aiming to be Queen - she knows she is up against more powerful people, people who have more access to the royal family (perhaps her dad Hakim would have had a similar amount of access if Constantine wasn’t such a dick). She is not going to waste her time wishing for what she won’t get, when she can easily network instead. The answer that works best with her is the one where the MC speaks of Olivia’s friendship as being a one-way street where she always gets her way, which is ironic considering how the MC behaves in a likely worse manner towards Kiara in Book 3.

• One of my favourite Kiara lines is from the wrong option (“I’m nicer than Olivia”) for the Alliance segment: “Nice? Nothing about being here is nice. If I wanted nice I’d buy a teacup pig. 😡”

• Back in Books 6’s QT, I mentioned Queen Regina and Duke Bertrand as being the two people in the first book who watch out and keep track on our progress. Bertrand does it because he is our sponsor, Regina does it because after all we are one of the candidates for her stepson’s hand in marriage, and we’re the one he eventually shows the most interest in. But there is one other person who seems to be taking notice of our good performance as well:

On my fail run, where Persy doesn’t gain approval either from the press, or from the royals, those last two lines simply do not appear. She asks us about whether we’re looking for an alliance, and we immediately answer her. She will still join hands with you if you convince her (I did a test run where Persy said all the right things) but those words will not feature anywhere. Because the dialogue is coded such that it will only appear if you’ve done well in your previous two tasks.

That is fascinating to me, because Kiara is the only lady of the court who is written as noticing these things at such an early stage in the competition (the Lythikos Ball is only the third event in the social season, and the maximum approvals come from the Derby, which was the event just preceding it). She is the only person, besides Bertrand and Regina, who keeps track of our progress (even if that is only uptil this point, because if you win her support here, it stays that way until the Coronation). Even Madeleine, who has been part of a social season before and is viewed as having a lot of experience in the court, compared to the other ladies, spends most of her time simply underestimating the MC. It isn’t until Applewood and Ramsford that Madeleine even begins to think there might be more to this person.

Kiara, on the other hand, is observant. She is competitive but she knows when other people have the upper hand, and she will honestly acknowledge that you have an edge if you have proven yourself to the press and the Queen. For someone who would be seen as just a lady of the court….that level of foresight, observation skills and pragmatism is pretty phenomenal to me.

• I’ve said this many times and I will say it again: Kiara has always been upfront about what she’s bringing to the table in an alliance. She isn’t your friend and she won’t pretend to be your friend either. She mentions she will put in a good word and support you in becoming Queen, and she keeps her promise.

She keeps her distance from you otherwise, so you can’t dub her a ‘friend’ even then, but she will do her work as an ally. She doesn’t get involved in smearing your name while supporting you to your face. At the end of the day, she is a woman in the court trying to thrive and carve a space of her own, but she won’t dirty her hands to do that - and I don’t think she gets enough recognition for that.

• Alright I’ll stop gushing about Kiki otherwise this QT will never end 😂

• We now meet Liam, who tells us about the hot tub in his room, and invites us there. The intent is clearly romantic (the MC specifies as such, smiling, and Liam winks at you before he leaves).

• This chapter also marks the second time you see Penelope with Liam, after which you will only see her directly interact with him at his Coronation. Funny how Kiara doesn’t get even one opportunity in the narrative to talk to him.

• It’s the end of our big night in Lythikos, and we’ve got three invitations to spend time with an LI! Liam’s setting up candles near the hot tub, Hana is playing exquisite melodies on the piano, and Drake is drinking whiskey in Olivia’s wine cellar. Maxwell is…doing Maxwell things that we are not privy to yet. Or taking a nap.

• I won’t be going too much into detail esp for Liam and Hana’s scenes - because I have essays written on both! Both will be under the “Liam: Diamond Scenes” and “Hana: Diamond Scenes” sections of my essay masterlist if anyone is interested 😃 They will be titled “Hot Tub at Lythikos” and “Piano at the Parlour”, respectively. (another recommended read is “Exploring Hana in Her Context” where I talk about this scene, and her characterization. It’s a little further down on the masterlist).

•

(Screenshots for Drake from the HIMEME YouTube channel)

Liam: This is undoubtedly meant to be a romantic scene, and is hinted as much in the lead-up to it while still giving the MC the space to not go (since she says “I won’t make any promises”). He puts candles around the tub, and the tub itself is situated in an area where you can get a wonderful view of the mountains.

This scene is divided into two parts: the first where Liam gets to sincerely tell the MC he trusts her (optionally) and where they lightly flirt, and the second where he admits to feeling conflicted between giving in to his feelings and being fair to the other women. At this point he knows his feelings for the MC are stronger, implicitly trusts her (“I thoroughly believe that if you thought I was a pompous ass, you wouldn’t hesitate to tell me. I trust you, MC. Anything you say”), doesn’t want to call it love just yet but is well on his way to doing so. He tells us about his brother Leo, hinting at the events of the RoE series and explaining that seeing how love affected him made Liam think more about it. It’s not one of Liam’s absolute best scenes…but it is a sweet one where Liam tentatively explores his growing love for her - in some ways leading to his “almost-declaration” of love at the Forgotten Falls. In each scene of Liam’s, he takes a step further, and another, and another, to admitting his love for her and growing less guilty about his desire to be with her. He is still torn between his duty and his desire at this point, but you can already see him slowly inching towards the prospect of keeping what he wants first, for once.

Hana: This, in my mind, is Hana’s most powerful scene. As many adjectives as I can use to describe her in this scene would be inadequate, because it’s that good, that layered, that rich with nuance and detail. But I do think I can sum a bit of it up with a quote from a Book 3 Liam scene that instantly took me back to this one:

“Hana’s a tough one. She’s clearly had the kind of lessons I’m giving you now, and then some. Her posture is almost always polite and attentive…but when she feels strongly about something, you can sense her real feelings even before she speaks up. Her eyes grow darker and more serious.”

Compare the scenes from last chapter where she speaks about ice-skating, or even waltzing, to this one. In both those scenes, her expression is mostly neutral (or joyful when she is imparting her knowledge), speaking of it in a way that makes you understand that her heart isn’t truly in doing those things. But in this one, she is lost in her music when she plays it, she is feeling its melody in her bones, she speaks of guarding her most precious skill fiercely against her parents’ control because it’s the one thing she wants for herself. She is fierce and passionate and absolutely beautiful in the way she expresses her love for music.

In an essay I did on exploring Hana’s character in her larger context, I spoke at length about how this scene is important because it highlights that her struggle for her own autonomy began at a very young age - she recognized her art as sacred to her and had the foresight to understand that parading it around the way her parents wanted her to, would make her love it less. This scene is amazing because Young Hana is described as pushing back in the only way she knew how, so she could keep what was hers, on her terms.

The other thing this scene explores is her childhood loneliness and lack of friends, and how music helped her in those difficult times too. At this point we now know how deep that loneliness was, and how damaging to her, but back then this scene gave a wonderful insight to Childhood Hana.

So for her to trust us with her art - with the art she fought to keep her own…that’s a tremendous leap in that relationship - whether the MC is a friend or a potential lover. Romantically, she is at the point where she is slowly…slowly getting comfortable with the MC’s touch, allowing it to linger before she pulls away from her. She’s a bit like a butterfly who doesn’t know yet if she’s ready to leave her cocoon.

Drake: The picture presented to us of Drake here is the diamond-in-the-rough, the underdog, the one who views court and palace differently from everyone around him. He is there to remind us that this is not the charmed place we think it is, that even friends can stick knives in our backs. He speaks of the forced politeness of the nobility, the fact that he’s here only to protect Liam, that the MC is an innocent woman who doesn’t know what she is getting into and needs protection as well.

This scene comes with what was regarded as an important plot point at the time: who almost sold pictures of Liam’s bachelor party to the press? Drake and Bastien managed to get hold of them and prevent them from being published, knowing that having those printed before the social season would cast Liam in a more negative light, and make things harder for him. At this point, Drake is sure that someone he knows and possibly considers a friend is involved (close enough, but not quite there yet), but can’t yet figure out who (because, yknow, Olivia was the brains between the two, she cracked that mystery in under five minutes or something).

If you don’t buy this scene, you only get to know about the pictures in Book 2 Chapter 4. A lot of Drake’s scenes involve important plot points - some of which we won’t even hear the same way - or at all - if we don’t buy the scene (eg. the flashback scenes about Hana’s return and the Italian restaurant scene about Liam’s assassination). I recall buying quite a few of his scenes in the latter half of Book 1 and most of Book 2 just to find out stuff about other LIs.

The scene is pretty sweet - it highlights his now-famous whiskey obsession, has Drake openly show his protectiveness towards her minus the jaded sarcastic veneer, and has him warn her about the nature of this court. It has a line that I quite liked when I first saw the scene, but that fandom has pretty much ruined for me - “the moments in between”. Where he speaks of how the nobility are so busy schmoozing and being superficial that they miss the really important parts. It’s a beautiful thought, but the fact is I’m still paying like 17 diamonds to get it, which makes it a…pretty expensive moment.

But overall…it’s a nice scene. The look and feel of it is different from the other two, and so is the purpose.

• The focus of all these three scenes is clearly trust.

Liam completely trusts her opinion of him and confesses openly his desire to let go of all that is holding him back, even though he is still confused and conflicted about his own feelings.

Hana trusts her so much, that she will share piano pieces that she lovingly composed to the MC, even though she never performs for people. It is a measure of how much Hana values the MC that she will share such a secret part of herself with her.

Drake, who once came this close to calling the MC a crown chaser, now views the same woman as an innocent who doesn’t know what she is getting into. He will later tell her that that aspect of her journey reminds him of Savannah. He trusts the MC enough to give her important information about something he still views as a possible plot targeted at Liam, and tells her their moments mean something to him.

Chapter 8 of the second book took this theme forward for the initial three LIs, by showing us trust in other forms. Liam’s firm belief in his father’s dedication to his nation (which will crumble soon). Drake’s being convinced by the MC to stay on and hear out his sister, to give her a chance to explain what really happened to her, and his emotional reunion with her. Hana’s scene…was more about gaining someone’s trust - particularly Penelope’s. (it is also one of the worst scenes the series has ever given an LI, whoever wrote that one can fall on a cactus).

We are approaching a midpoint in the story, so at this point the narrative is progressing each of these relationships towards the point where they trust this woman, view her as a valuable person in their lives, and inch ever-so-slightly towards that eventual realization that they are in love with her.

•

Another point in the Tariq shoe tally!! I wonder if this ‘ghost’ deals with 'future misdeeds’ as well…

• We spend a few more days in Lythikos before we move back to the Capitol for the Royal Regatta, and both Esther and Persy are like “YOU HAD A FEW DAYS TO ASK IF I KNEW WHAT A FUCKING REGATTA WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MAXWELL”.

• So…a lot happens this chapter. The MC begins to rope in (or not) her first allies in the court, she has a strong foothold by now and is beginning to get noticed as more than just a random contender who wouldn’t last, she gains the trust of the people she is growing close to.

But most of all…Lythikos is where Olivia begins to lose the hold she once had on the court, and this is never more apparent than if you are losing supporters rather than gaining them (if you are more popular, it won’t be that apparent, since you will move far ahead of the competition). There will be times when the press may not pay attention to her, there will be ladies who club the MC and Olivia both together as “not a proper fit for becoming a queen”. She is still very much a frontrunner, she may win the Regatta if you fail all the steps to the boat race, but after this it will be harder for her to gain support whether or not the MC succeeds.

Shortly after this point, Olivia also doesn’t antagonize the MC as blatantly as she did in Lythikos, save for a snide remark to the MC (with a life jacket of all things) if you choose to go to her yacht in the next chapter. She will eventually begin to thaw towards you in Applewood.

• Constantine and Regina are conspicuous by their absence this chapter, and Constantine announces that he is stepping down the next. Which probably means he found out sometime between the Masque and this event that he was ill (since we don’t see him at the Derby). I’m headcanoning that they visited Leo around this time (optionally with the RoE MC, since the housewarming party in Newlyweds seems to happen sometime around the social season (it could be earlier or later too…but humour me 😂)

• So…Regatta in Chapter 9! Lots of sun, fun and (Persephone-willing) PLENTY of mess.

• Before I sign of, here is Persy’s Share of Mess this chapter (except for the bloodcurdling scream she gives when Olivia kisses Liam, I forgot to screenshot that 🙈 How on earth did Maxwell’s poor ears survive??):

• Until next week, folks!

–

• Tally Counts:

Number of Times Drake has Called Esther/Persy by Their First Names: 5

Number of Times Tariq Has Mentioned His Shoes: 3

Number of Times Drake Has Taken An Alcoholic Drink that’s Not Whiskey: 1

Number of Times Someone Has Called A Reigning Monarch 'Your Highness’: 2

Number of Times You Can Leave Hana Shook. SHOOK I TELLS YA: 4

Number of Times We See Penelope’s Angryface: 2

–

[praphit]

2016 CHEERS

When you talk about 2016, at some point you’re going to bring up The Reaper. The Reaper was the star of the year.

He looks menacing doesn’t he? Or is it a she?

I sometimes wonder if we get certain imagery wrong. Kinda like with the Devil. We usually depict Satan as something like this

-       but honestly, would you be tricked into doing evil by something that looked like that? I see that red beast, and I’m confident that evil is close by... I ain’t going anywhere near that! - I’m especially not going to listen to it. Now this imagery, on the other hand…

I’d be ready to be tricked into pretty much anything by that… just sayin. Maybe The Reaper is cuter than usually imagined.

Anyway, The Reaper took a lot of celebs from us in 2016: The one that impacted me the most was Prince.

Prince =  cool. Despite dressing like this throughout generations

He reigns in the cool department. Plus, Purple Rain… my fav song of all time. RIP Speaking of colorful characters – George Michael.

It’s funny – back in the 80’s if you listened to George Michael and dressed like George Michael, and you said that you were straight, people would believe you. Today, if you were to dress like George Michael and blast his music everywhere you go, people would see it as your coming-out party. I read the story of his struggles – very sad. It ruined my own false image of him. I always thought George Michael lived “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” – just a bunch of happy people dancing and singing around his mansion…  I picture his mansion looking like the background of a Care Bears episode.

But… that wasn’t his life at all; very depressing. Then, again, Idk why we’re surprised by death… especially in the entertainment industry. It’s one of the few beliefs that we all hold to - The Reaper is coming for us all and does not have any biases.

Young, old, male, female, rich, poor, boring, or colorful (like my false image of him) - The Reaper is lurking around closer than we all think.

Now that we’ve gotten the star of the show out of the way, let’s remember some other highlights: Leo & Oscars so white –

Leo is one of my bromances, but let’s be honest: Titanic, The Great Gatsby, Wolf of Wall Street, Departed, Catch me if you can, even Django…. I felt guilty liking his character in that movie, but out of all of these, he wins that coveted award for getting his ass handed to him by a bear. And as far as the Oscars are concerned… they’re STILL so white. I hope Jada is getting another protest video ready. I think there should be a Black People Segment in the Oscars. A time when black people in the biz can say what’s on their minds, tell you who should have won, share what goes on behind the scenes in the struggle... and remind everybody that there are more black people in Hollywood than Denzel and Will Smith. Beyonce made Lemonade –

Women everywhere united over this project as Beyonce rips into cheaters. I think this is a great idea. If you have problems in your relationships, don’t talk it out, instead get into the studio. “But, baby, I’m sorry.”

Response: “And I forgive, but I’m still going to let you have it when my album drops at the end of the month.”

Kanye –

A whole year of craziness. It’s a shame, because “The Life of Pablo” is good, but now overshadowed by his poor choices. Remember the ‘Famous” video with the naked celeb wax figures? I’m still not sure whether that’s illegal or not. Let’s say you come over to my place and see a naked figure of yourself chillin on my bed – would you be cool with that?

Pokemon Go!

We all know somebody who took this game too far. “Honey, don’t move! Yeah, yeah, we’ll get back to sexy time in a minute, but right now there’s a Psyduck on your leg… DON”T MOVE – I’ve almost got it!”

Brangelina –

I hate divorce (especially for the kids), but I don’t feel sorry for them. They’re both rich, successful, and hot. Either one of them could show up to a wedding ceremony and take the bride or groom to-be away. They’ll both be just fine. Do we have any pop star married couples left? Beyonce and Jay don’t count, cuz after Lemonade came out… who knows what’s going on there. Homer and Marge? Peter and Lois? It’s a shame that we can only count on animated celeb marriages staying together.

Comic Book Movies! They need their own category at the Oscars! Civil War was my personal fav!  But I can’t talk about the best and forget the worst… Batman v Superman. I was angry for a whole month after I saw that movie. I remember randomly ranting in the middle of work days…. Just out of nowhere! “John, what do you think about this marketing strategy?” Me:  “AND ANOTHER THING ABOUT THAT MOVIE…!!!” I never thought it was possible to actually crush a soul, but this movie found a way to do it to me.

Stranger Things Phenomenon

If you haven’t watched this show yet, then shame on you. You gotta catch this lightning in a bottle while you can, before these kids grow up, and their careers turn into drugs and porn. Drake

I’m baffled by Drake. He was once one of my favorite rappers. Then he started dancing…. badly. And he leaned into it to. He didn’t care that people were making fun of him. He looked like… y’all remember that cartoon “A Pup named Scooby Doo.”? And the kids would take dance breaks?

Drake would fit right in with them (look it up, and you’ll see where he got his moves).

His music got whiny.

He  started annoying basketball players on the sidelines while wearing a Doris Burke shirt. Some of y’all are like “Who the hell is Doris Burke?” – exactly! But, now he’s with JLo, so… maybe things are looking up. Though it DOES make me question JLo’s judgment. You see a man who has lost his edge (and possibly his way – career wise), he’s dancing with Scooby Doo and the gang, and he’s wearing obscure white women on his chest… and you say to yourself “I’ve gotta have me some of that!” - Something is wrong with you.

But… maybe she’ll be good for him, and get him back to form.

Kim Kardashian got tied up and robbed

-       which spawned this Halloween costume to be sold.

Assholes! We’re a nation of assholes.

Trump

I don’t even know where to start… and I wouldn’t know where to end, so I won’t get into it. There was a time when I would tell the kids that bullying is wrong! – that degrading women is wrong!

Now, there’s Trump… Idk what to say anymore. Maybe the bullies and male chauvinists out there are simply practicing for there future endeavors. There was a time, not too long ago, Kanye said he would run for President in 2020 -  I took it as a joke or delusion, now… well, if I’ve learned anything from the election, it’s that anything is possible.

My motto to live by from last year was from DMX’s “X gon give it to ya”

It was “(bleep) what you heard... it’s what you hearin!”

This year I’m going with a lyric from Sia’s “Cheap Thrills”

“Baby, I don’t need dollar bills to have fun tonight (I love cheap thrills!)”

Party on, people! Enjoy some of the simple pleasures of life: Parkour, pranking your neighbors, LSD, the latest Youtube challenge, etc.

Kaepernick –

He sucks! But… he made a splash somehow by simply kneeling. Some acted as if he pissed on the flag. All he did was kneel. He only said something about that when he was asked. People went crazy… people ARE crazy. Or maybe we’re all simply fighting to be heard. What do I know?? Democrats vs Republicans, Black vs White, Male vs Female… People of different faiths, LGBT peeps, the list goes on and on – deeper and deeper. Idk where we’re headed in 2017 and beyond, but I’m happy that I avoided The Reaper through 2016, and I’m gearing my hope up for the future. Cheers, party people!  - to surviving another year, and that we’re blessed to even have a future.