#though I kind of regret not doing white. a white elephant would make a perfect gift to have ready.

[asinglesock]

elephant time 🐘

[astrovian]

the official ranking of Claude Becker outfits

the official ranking of Daniel Miller outfits here

the official ranking of Adam Price outfits here

all Claude Becker outfits & rankings under the cut

we all know RA looks good in a suit, blah, blah, blah

after two of these rankings, this outfit is the physical embodiment of a yawn

I do appreciate the patterned tie to change things up a tad even if I’m not into the pattern itself. the intent is there, just not the execution

I will give props to the team for giving Claude a patterned dress shirt here (you have to squint a bit on the second image - more on patterned dress shirts later), but they really should have upped the game a little - change the tie & be less subtle with the shirt pattern

and I ask you, does Claude Becker not strike you as a man who would insist on at least a pocket square with his suits?? dream bigger stylists

3/10

@whoever stores old movie props if these weren’t disposed of immediately after filming i will pay you for a copy of one of these

putting aside the hilarious social commentary and fucking literal writing on this magazine cover done by some poor prop designer at 2am (”How to starve artists and other capitalist things”, as well as ”Claude Becker rolls up his shirtsleeves and unties his tie and puts on a vest and casually hangs his hands from his pockets” etc.), this is a nice change-up that made me question why we don’t have RA in just a waistcoat and dress shirt more often

also that tie pattern? fab. I love it. that is how to do a patterned tie. I hope we all know RA looks good in a suit, blah, blah, blah is paying attention

that being said, minimal points because we don’t actually see Claude wearing it in real life

4/10

where, oh where is my polo shirt? oh look, it’s right there

is there any RA character who is not afflicted with a polo shirt? not recently, apparently

I genuinely thought that it was a dress shirt for a moment which had me disappointed at the banality but then that turned into utter devastation as I realised we actually are looking at a long sleeve zip up polo shirt

the draping of the coat? phenomenal and what really brings this entire thing together

the long/three-quarter sleeves? the zip-up rather than buttons? better than one can normally expect from a polo shirt... and then they went and added stripes to the collar and sleeves?? regret

could be a lot worse but could ultimately also not be a polo shirt as well 4.5/10

could have tried harder during lessons but was a pleasure to have in class

I’m sure you all know my long-sleeve shirt obsession with RA but I made a promise to be honest with myself on these lists. the only feeling this outfit evokes is a ‘eh’

the equivalent of a middle slider 5/10

the Claude you’d actually have a fun day with

there’s something about RA in a hoody that just bangs. good lord I also have a weakness for those forearms

I also thought for a good moment these were dark jeans, but they disappointingly turn out to be sweatpants? however, it has made me think that we need to see RA in some darker denim shades more often 

this Claude is could have tried harder during lessons but was a pleasure to have in class but with just a little more fun and class to boost it *just* outside of the ‘eh’ zone

5.2/10

now this is how we do a long-sleeved shirt

I think it’s been fairly well-established by now that loose, long-sleeved RA is my ultimate weakness, so it’s nice to see that Ocean’s 8 is also making a concerted effort to murder me

also Claude’s obsession with sweatpants is giving me life

this is the Claude you make pasta with. and that pasta would be damn tasty, too

5.9/10

come hither

just-woken-up Claude is made 100x better by the bed head hair and the sleepy gaze

this man needs to get back into bed for a snuggle (preferably with me)

I can’t decide if I’m into the loose boxers or missing the tighter Adam Price undies. either way, it’s definitely not a bad aesthetic. and it reminds me, like dad chic Adam Price, that we don’t get enough of RA in shorts

I feel bad assigning numbers to a a shirtless one BUT Claude does transform into being fully-clothed in this scene so I’m going with it 6.4/10

you can kiss my hand anytime

the blessing of this film is not only the visual assault of attractive actors from all sides and genders, but it also instigates in me the thought that RA is wearing printed dress shirts and I can’t remember the last time I saw this?? I never even realised how much I need to see a lot more of this kind of look on RA until we were blessed with this vision

look at those lil’ elephants!! adorable. I hope Claude has a closet full of these with different animals on them

this outfit was so good, RA even wore it in his behind-the-scenes interview

7/10 for a printed, suited dream

the Claude you take home to mom & dad

god, it’s even better without the suit jacket

this is my honest appeal to the powers that may or may not be to put RA in more printed dress shirts

7.6/10

sometimes I think I should be more ashamed of myself

I feel like I need to preface this one thusly: okay, but like hear me out for real this time

I know this is ultimate hipster white-dude look and RA plays into that character so fantastically with Claude here. I mean just look at his expression. something about this whole look makes me want to simultaneously punch this man in the face and also take him home with me

this is a man who you know is a mistake before you make it, but choose to follow through anyway. he’s that last shot of tequila or the 5th glass of wine. you know you would go for him too. don’t even try to deny it

is the high ranking because of the novelty factor? is it because I’ve never seen RA wear a beanie like that and honestly the infamous running Daniel Miller could take notes? is it because I can’t take anyone who wears a beanie like that seriously?

all we do know is that I also can’t believe this is so high on the list

7.8/10

the moment we all learned Claude is 100% a bottom

one of the most iconic Claude moments in the film. RA plays the ‘dumb horny idiot’ character so well in this scene

not so into the pinstriped suit jacket but the hoodie peeking out from underneath combined with the thin scarf makes it for me

8/10

question: how may teeny-weeny scarves does Claude own, exactly?

who could forget the iconic moment when Sandra Bullock nearly shivs RA?

we have another printed dress shirt and I am HERE for it. it even has birds this time!! nice to see that Claude is not just a land mammal sort of man

I will concede that this is the sort of pattern that few men can pull off but RA is making it work and I am living

8.7/10

I’m not sure I can make a comment on this one that is even remotely appropriate except for “I told you Claude is a bottom”

safety first, buy some proper restraints for the bedroom please Claude/10

 modern royalty au Thorin

this is the moment that every single Hobbit fan went “hell yeah, now I have the perfect new aesthetic for my modern royalty Hobbit AU” (as an avid lotr/hobbit fan, I am not joking here)

RA looks like royalty here because he should be. please sign my petition to have RA usurp the British Queen

for real though, that baby blue sash is the 1000% perfect added touch to this suit and we love RA in a baby blue. a decent (and clearly successful) effort to match the faux Met Gala theme: European royalty. however, it is also pretty accurate re: the imaginative effort that most men have with altering their Met Gala outfits to fit that year’s theme

we need more RA in ‘modern royal’ roles for the #aesthetic and also so that he can dress like this more often

9.3/10 for a princely (or dare I say kingly?) figure

James Corden looks so gleeful running after Claude that it makes me happy. I get it, James. I get it

there’s really nothing spectacular about the general outfit here - except for the swagger RA is giving this

pants? shirt? boring, meh

check scarf? a brilliant switch up from Claude’s normal thin scarves. 

the popped coat? now we’re cooking

the sunglasses and wind-ruffled hair that screams “I’m hungover but I still look effortlessly handsome”? delectable

the dogs?? the best set dressing one could ask for

the attitude and ‘I’m too cool for you’ swagger? priceless and what makes this the second-best outfit of the whole film

9.6/10 this man could punch me and I would be grateful

hot diggity dog, someone get me Claude’s handcuffs

from the front view, it could be argued that this outfit (well, technically it may not really be a separate outfit as it’s the undone version of modern royalty au Thorin), while fairly exceptional, does not first place make

however, someone had the idea to shoot RA from a side angle in this and for that I am eternally in their debt

it’s all about the tease with this one. the glimpse of the suspenders (and holy shit, RA in suspenders was not a look I had thought about before). the way the waist coat hangs off Claude’s chest like that, just enough to make its presence obvious. the cufflinks. the delicate pocket watch chain.

if previous outfits on this list have been all sex and swagger, this is the foreplay. the subtle strip tease.

10/10 

[justthehiddleswrites]

Follow My Lead |Tom Hiddleston x OFC |Chapter 2 | He sipped the wine, avoiding the elephant called his bare ass, in the room

A/N: This will update every Thursday.  There are 13 chapters.  There are all sorts of kinds of D/s relationships.  This is the one I choose to write this time.

Series Masterlist Here

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x OFC (Vivian Swann)

Summary: Tom and Vivian have both been unlucky in love, searching for something outside of the bounds of a typical relationship.  When the two of them connect via a dating app, Tom is introduced to the idea of being submissive to Vivian.  Which is the one thing he never knew he needed.  Under the firm hand of Vivian, Tom learns what it means to submit and Vivian learns what it means to be in a loving dominant relationship.  But not everyone seems to understand what they have and the best intentions can destroy the strongest relationship.

This Chapter:  Tom and Vivian take the first steps in this relationship, including a first date and a first kiss.  And Tom discovers Vivian is not like any other person he has dated before.  Can he step up to the task?

Warnings for story: Dominant/submissive relationship (sub!Tom), lots of smut including but not limited to: vaginal sex, oral sex (male and female receiving), edging, denial, teasing, use of restraints, spanking, multiple orgasm, anal play, use of toys.

Taglists are open!  Please let me know if you wish to be added!  Thank you for reading!

-

Vivian returned to read her book while Tom waited in line for coffee. She didn’t look over her shoulder, but she could tell Tom was sneaking glances at her. He soon returned with two espressos. Vivian preferred a sweeter coffee, but the chocolate chip scone more than made up for it. She replaced the book back into her tote while Tom nervously sipped.

Vivian stared at him as she broke apart the scone with her fingers, popping bites into her mouth. She offered him half of which he accepted with a smile.

“Ask the question, Thomas.” she stated, leaning back in her chair.

Tom chuckled as he folded his hands in his lap. “Am I that transparent?”

“No, that predictable. It’s always the first question.” She finished up the espresso. “Go on, ask it.”

Tom sighed, his face a bundle of nerves. “So how does it work?”

Vivian smirked. “Depends.” Tom’s eyebrows raised and the two of them burst in laughter.

“I deserved that.” Tom laughed.

“Not entirely. But it’s the truth. Every relationship, vanilla or not, is different. But nothing happens without consent.”

“Good to know.” he finished up his coffee and half a scone.

Vivian narrowed her eyes, sizing Tom up with fresh eyes. “You know, if you are looking for kinky sex, there are professionals who can whip your ass and make you lick their boots.”

Tom coughed as he choked on the last of the scone. “Forward, as always. I am well aware of the niche services out there. I am not looking for a one time thing or anything casual. I want a committed relationship. I apologize if I wasn’t clear.”

“No, you were. But I run into a lot of men who say they want a relationship, but what they really want is to play 24/7 and a woman to fulfill all of their dark fantasies. It was never about me. Just a kink dispenser.”

Tom nodded. “I can only imagine the hurt and anger you must have felt.”

It touched Vivian at how empathetic Tom was. Something definitely missing from previous subs.

“What does your work schedule look like?” She changed the subject.

“I’m between projects right now. A few meetings and events here or there, but for the next three months I am mostly reading scripts and hanging around the house.

“Would you like some extra reading?”

Tom smirked. “I’ve already read Anna Karenina.”

“Not exactly. Can I have your phone number, please?”

Tom rattled off the number. Vivian typed on her phone, glancing at Tom a few times before hitting send. His phone dinged, and he fished it out of his pocket, reading her message.

“You want me to read these books?” He quirked an eyebrow. The titles of some books listed piqued his interest. Tom read a bit about this after his last failed relationship, but Vivian had more experience in this arena.

“Yes, please. And then write a 500 word email on what you are looking to get out of this relationship.” She gathered her belongings. “Think of it as homework.” She smiled at him.

Tom scrambled to his feet. “What happens next?”

“We date. We go out to dinner. To the movies. We flirt. Figure out if we like each other. If we are compatible.”

“And if we are?”

“We set up a trial period. We discuss expectations. Now if you excuse me, I have a hair appointment. It has been very nice to meet you properly.”

Tom held open the door and followed her out to the sidewalk. “Dinner tonight? You pick the place.”

She tilted her head at him and smiled, reaching up to pat his cheek. “How about tomorrow? I’m thinking Italian. 7 p.m. Text me the name and address please.”

Tom nodded. “I look forward to it.”

They parted ways with a hug and Tom kissing her cheek. Once she rounded the corner, Tom pulled a ball cap out and searched for a nearby bookstore.

-

There were many who would consider a blowout a luxury, but to Vivian it was a necessity. Her thick, irregularly wavy locks were a nightmare to tame on the best of days. Her standing Saturday appointment was something she never cancelled unless she was out of town or too sick to get out of bed. As the stylist pulled and tugged at her hair, coaxing it into big loopy curls like you see in all the magazines, Vivian replayed the conversation with Tom in the coffee shop.

First, she chastised herself for not recognizing him the first night in the bar. Second, she wondered if this was too good to be true. A bona fide movie star. Not that his status mattered in the long run, but Tom was looking for a lifestyle relationship. The little goblin in the back of her brain screamed, “HE JUST WANTS KINKY SEX!!!” But then she reminded herself not once did Tom mention sex.

While she stood at the counter paying, her phone buzzed. It was Tom. Such an eager beaver.

Hit the lottery at the local bookstore.

Attached was a photo of all the books she told him to read with Tom’s head poking in, a huge boyish grin on his face along with a thumbs up. She couldn’t help but laugh.

Good job. Aren’t you eager?

She turned the camera on and took a quick selfie. How’s my hair look?

Tom responded within 5 minutes. Divine. I made reservations for Il Sugo tomorrow at 7.

She danced a bit in place. One of her favorites. And the fact Tom wasted no time complying with her request pleased her to no end.

I know the place. Thank you for doing that right away.

Tom beamed at the praise, his cheeks heating and blushing as he made his way home to read his “homework” from Vivian.

My pleasure. Is there anything else before tomorrow?

Vivian licked her lips as she contemplated his question.

Wear the suit from Bloomsbury.

She trotted back towards her apartment when a dress in one of the clothing stores caught her eyes. Navy with a faux wrap detail and a deep vee neckline. The dress would highlight her assets and she had the perfect Louboutins to go along with it. Not to mention it would match Tom’s suit. She tried on the dress, loved and plunked down her credit card to pay.

-

Tom was ready 30 minutes before he even needed to leave the house. Unheard for him. While he made a point to be on time, no early, for all his professional obligations; his personal life didn’t always get the same attention.

He tugged on his cuffs and adjusted the gold cufflinks before smoothing down his jacket lapels. This suit, the one Vivian asked him to wear, was among his favorite, with the dark blue color and a thin white line running both horizontally and vertically. It cut close to his lean frame, and the blue suited his features. His phone beeped.

Nervous?

Tom frowned at Benedict’s message. He regretted letting his friend know about his date.

No. He lied. Tom wasn’t ready to reveal the true nature of this relationship yet.

Turn on that signature Hiddles charm and she will be putty in your hands.

Tom sweated. He hoped it would be more like him being putty in Vivian’s.

Right, mate. Got to go, Don’t want to be late.

Tom grabbed his keys and headed out the door, missing Benedict’s last message.

Make sure to tell me everything tomorrow.

-

Vivian completed the same ritual she did every time before a date. After soaking in a bath, with an oil in her signature scent, she toweled off. She applied an eye look that was sultry but not too heavy. A glossy lip and dark lashes completed the look. She slipped on her new dress and her shoes. The mesh details were reminiscent of lingerie. Her diamond swan necklace and a small clutch and she hustled out the door.

-

When Vivian walked up to Il Sugo, she found Tom pacing the storefront. His face broke out into a grin when he saw her approaching. He grabbed Vivian’s hand and kissed her cheek.

“I wanted to wait for you before going inside.”

“Thank you.” Vivian kissed his cheek too, the first kissing him anywhere. His cologne was woodsy and heady.

“That dress is divine.” he complimented, holding his arm for Vivian to spin. “The shoes though, how tall are you in those things?”

“I’m 5’10”, these are about four-inch heels, so 6’ 2”.”

“Perfect.” Tom murmured. He opened the door for her.

The restaurant was warm and cozy. And the food divine as always. Vivian ordered the seafood risotto and Tom the Bolognese. As they waited for their entrees, Vivian folded her hands on top of the table.

“So tell me about your work.”

Tom sipped his water. “So I just finished up a play at the Old Vic and I have about three months before I am due in Atlanta for my new project with Marvel. After that, a series for Netflix filming in London. Have you seen any of my work?”

Vivian’s cheek heated before regaining her composure. “I have.”

Tom smiled at her. “Well, you called me the God of Mischief so at least one MCU film and based on your hushed tone, I am guessing The Night Manager?” He tucked his head to stare Vivian directly in the eye.

“Yes.” she did her best not to blush.

“I’m quite proud of that work. Was nominated for an Emmy, won a Golden Globe. Quite proud of all my work.” He sipped the wine, avoiding the elephant called his bare ass, in the room.

“What is like at the Golden Globes?” she asked.

“Long.” he laughed. “But at least they feed you.”

Vivian giggled too. “Are you always this charming?”

“No.” he deadpanned. “Normally, I’m more charming. You put me quite off balance, Ms. Swann.” She liked how her name sounded when he said it. “From the first meeting. How do you manage that?”

“Practice, confidence, and a good pair of heels.” She kicked her foot out.

“Perhaps I need to invest in some new shoes.” Tom teased, the thought of him in high heels flashed through Vivian’s brain for a moment. She smiled to herself.

“I think yours are just fine.” She kicked the bottom on his oxfords with the toe of her heel before dragging it up his leg mid-calf. Tom choked on his water. “So I know what your job plans are, but what is work like?”

“Rewarding but exhausting.” he commented. “What being a globally renowned corporate barrister? It must be draining.”

Vivian’s eyes sparkled. “You Googled me.”

“Guilty.”

She held her sip of wine against her tongue. “It’s exhilarating. A total adrenaline rush. The stakes are high and I call the shots.” Vivian beamed as she talked about it.

“Don’t you ever want to not be the one calling the shots. Do you ever want someone say ‘do this’ and not have to think about it?”

“No. Do you?”

“Absolutely. I prefer my personal life to be as few decisions as possible. Wear the same clothes all the time. Jog the same route. Eat the same food.”

“And what if it was someone telling you what to do?”

“Honestly, it would be a relief.”

“Even if it were a woman.”

“Even if it were a woman.” Tom parroted, as the server placed the food on the tables. Tom waited until Vivian took a bit before eating. That’s just good manners.

“How is the risotto?”

“Delicious as always, your Bolognese?”

“Delicious, but mine’s better.”

Vivian raised a manicured eyebrow at him. “You cook?”

“When the need arises.”

“Do you clean too? I’m looking for a new maid.” She chuckled, half joking.

“Not as well as I should. Bachelor life has made me somewhat lazy in that regard. My mother would be ashamed.”

“I’m sure we can fix that.” She finished up her food and set her fork down. “What is your mother like?”

Tom wiped his mouth as he ate the last few bites of food. “Kind, hardworking, independent. I doubt I would be where I am today without her. Now my sisters…”

“I have one younger sister. You?”

“One older and one younger. And they are brutal. Talk about the Night Manager. The text messages they would send me. I am never living that down. Ever.”

“Sounds like my kind of girls.”

The server dropped by the table. “Dessert?’

Tom looked at Vivian expectantly.

“Would like to split something, Tom? Your choice of dessert.”

His eyes lit up, and he ordered whatever chocolate dessert was on the menu. Lava cake, flourless cake, some cake. Vivian didn’t care, but she enjoyed seeing Tom happy. The server returned with the dessert and two spoons. She took a small bite as Tom devoured his half and leaped onto the rest of hers. He insisted on paying the bill which Vivian agreed to only on the condition she paid next time.

The day had been unseasonably warm for June, and Vivian didn’t wear a jacket. And now the night air nipped at her bare shoulders. Tom slipped his suit jacket over her, the residual warmth of his body clung to the lining. She grabbed the lapels and pulled it tighter around her.

“Walk me home, please?” she asked rather than demand.

Tom smiled at her. “How else am I getting my jacket back?”

They walked the several blocks to Vivian’s flat in silence, her gripping onto his jacket for dear life. Tom shoved his hands into his pants pockets, doing his best impression of a man not cold. When they arrived at the lobby entrance, Vivian slid the jacket off her shoulders and handed it back to Tom.

“Thank you.”

“My pleasure.”

His hands twiddled in front of him. An awkward gesture Vivian found endearing. Just as Tom leaned in for a hug, she grabbed his shirt front and pulled him into a kiss. Tom’s feet scrambled for purchase against the sidewalk as Vivian yanked him forward. Her lips soft against his and he melted to her. His hands fidgeted in the air, not doing what to do with them until landing on cupping her face, catching tendrils of her hair in his fingers.

Tom couldn’t catch a breath as Vivian pressed against him. Her perfume made his brain go fuzzy, or was that the kissing? Tom didn’t know or care. He just wanted to keep kissing her forever. When Vivian pulled away, Tom leaned forward, desperate for contact. She flattened her hand against his chest to hold him in place.

“Goodnight, Tom.” She pecked his lips and backed away before he could pull her into an embrace.

He sighed as his chest heaved. “Can I call you tomorrow? After work?”

She smiled and shrugged her shoulders. “I work late.”

“I don��t go to bed early. Please text me when you get home. Whatever the hour. I want to hear your voice.” He pushed her hair back.

“Call me at 11?”

“I’m setting an alarm.” He whipped his phone for dramatic effect. Vivian playfully pushed him away as she headed to the door.

“Goodnight, Thomas. And don’t forget your homework.”

“I haven’t!” he called after her.

Tom floated his way back down the street and to the restaurant to fetch his car and head home. The ride home was a blur, and he stripped down to his boxers, tossing the clothes onto the floor, before slipping between his sheets and drifting off to bed.

Vivian washed off her makeup and did her skincare routine before changing into pajamas and placing her clothes in the hamper. She sighed as she thought of Tom. His soft lips and eager hands. Vivian was eager to take the relationship to the next step, but all too aware that rushing things with someone new like Tom could turn disastrous. She grabbed her book from the nightstand and read a chapter before going to bed.

[smndragon]

hi!! hope you're doing well. may i please request a reading? my placements are scorpio sun (9h), cancer moon (5h), and aqua rising. thank you in advance 🤍

I'll try and do all these by tonight so here we go! Hm, Scorpio sun, Cancer moon, and Aquarius rising. I see a girl with a long braid immediately off the bat. She looks like she's somewhat doing ballet (this has become a recent theme in my readings lol along with dancing) i feel like you may have had a nice childhood somewhere along those lines. You enjoyed it because your parents didn't constrict you to much. Either that or completely opposite, I'm getting mixed stuff sorry.

The sign that reaches most is the Scorpio sun, it takes the form of its most known large Scorpion. Its huge enough to be bigger than an elephant, black and rigid she'll covers it's body. When I feel it it comforts me. Unexplainable companionship. The Scorpion loves it's hosts as much as they can, and at times can be huge dogs when wanted up. This is kinda of the feeling I get from them. Many dots sparkle and decorate it's shell, seems as if the paint of the clouds had fallen on its back and left a pattern. The color is a bright white or brown, from what I read brown isn't a god aura but this one is perfect fine don't worry! The scorpion doesn't have an exact home. It travels the body as it pleases. The grounds are so dark they could pull you I by a minute stare. When my foot touches it, it feels like water. The Scorpio sun tells me I shouldn't go too far deep into it (my phone is messing up please let me get through this💃🕺) the darkness of the pools tell me you have had deep thoughts. They gave darkened your waters and left you dyed in a way. Those times may be over soon or even now. Either that or future wise they will happen. The reflections in the waters tell me your last lives have gone through much prejudice form others. Tears cascade down the face of a boy, holding his hands up to his face to show a scarred and blurred out image. I hug the Scorpio sun closer as if to forget the memory. "Mother" "mommy" the little boy cries for his mother but no one comes. A darker theme than intended with Thai reading. He seems as if he's done something he will regret or will do something. Pain has stained him, imprints of his dried tears. He has wide eyes, glistening and bright, dots upon dots of white and shines are hidden in them. (I feel so weird cause my body is holding his face and he looks so cute but this is a bad timing) I feel like he's comforted by this action though. Climbing up to the scorpions back with me. Holding my shirt tight. We've been here for what seems like years. This boy needs a mother. I feel it somehow manifested the Scorpio sun and possible Aquarius ascendent. Every trace of him lost on the earth is left imprinted in the waters of the ground, and the specks on the Scorpion. Now that I look around it seems all this around us has a piece of him. He's out so much into this world the zodiacs live in. I feel bad for him In a way. The Scorpio sun is only a guide front what I see, there's nothing but friendship to find in this domain. Maybe a loss of belonging at times throughout your life. The need to impress people became so great at some point it consumed you, I don't think it was for a long period though.

The Cancer moon is secretive, tactical, and guarding. Feels as if coming into contact with an archer. Now held high and determined look on their face. Long hair and silly eyes. Long lashes that could very well make any anime lover fall. (Weird- but go of ig) trees and high tops cover the area. A never ending forest of fun and travel where it's due in the sky. Tall pillars of housing sometimes left empty. The more I see it it becomes some kind of anime story lord. "brother" and stuff like that came from the archer's mouth, taking the kid and his hand. He seems worried and relieved. But then asks "how or why did you leave your assigned area" we were once at the hip now at the chest and shoulders of the host. A path of some sort. Was the boy supposed to stay there? If that was his brother why would he want him there though. I don't think he wanted him to. I think it was a form of protection. The whole Village of people live inside the host. Possible conscience? You think like a butterfly in a trap sometimes. "Where do I go?" "What do I do?" Looking back and forth for answers and ideas. The archer is your guard. Defending the sanction of your beloved forest. Families and loved ones all around. They work hard to keep the dark waters at bay. White clothing covers each person. I don't know what more I can get here but I believe the Cancer moon is your friend to the end. Protecting everyone isn't easy, sometimes it kins you so much it takes over completely.

The Scorpio sun needs to stay back here I believe. I may need it later but not now.

Lastly, we approach the Aquarius ascendent. A cold domain, filled with chains and air. Cold and thick enough to cut someone's skin when commanded. The Aquarius has no form but a vessel. An iron one with bolt and sweat work. It's not locked up I believe. Either protected or exiled in a way? It may have made the shell itself to protect it's form and stars. When it opens it shows the constellation, dark colors and idealized purple and blues. The stars feel like gumballs. As if I could pop one in and chew it. There's not much here but we'll see. Possible medical issues younger or older, the child at the beginning could have been a sibling or family member of not you. I feel you closed some parts off to people, it's not bad you just seem to be so kind it hurts your Aquarius at times.

Over all, I didn't do well enough in trading so let's see. I see cold soups, prepared dinners, family gathering, people moving and being together, joy on the outside. As if a movie of good times is on the screen. Your Cancer moon is so skilled it sometimes seems different to other people, a chance of people calling you things at times but not fairly much. With the Aquarius ascendant there's probably even more of that.

Characteristics: possible beauty marks on the face, or stomach. Your hair is either very tangled or very soft and parted often. Soft features that are turned hard by the Aquarius ascendants natural nature and the Cancer moons calculating look. They work a lot together sometimes, they seem so similar to me. Possible skinny looks, you may feel too skinny at times? Either that or there's something with body image. Your smile is dim but soft, people like seeing it because it makes them think of the sweetest sugars and things. Possible likeness for long clothes and big clothing? Your idols are your comfort often? I see a need to get taller in a way either 4'11-5'5 or 5'6 vague ik but that's why I got.

Soulmate and love wise: you will definitely meet them sometime when you feel most down, vending machines and cold drinks. They smile first. Wanting to seem nice to you. They are definitely soft at first and they love you greatly. There may be cheating somewhere though. Can't determine if you see each other again. They love your neck and being able to hold it in there hands or kiss it anytime. (Ughhhhh) if you're already with them or someone ignore.

Don't worry about this reading it isn't bad at all, it just seems more complicated than seems. You are amazing and lal your dreams will come true later on, some may seem long gone now but don't worry. People are always here for you, and with the gifted mind you have all you need is motivation and freedom to do so.

That's all I got ask for more anytime I think I missed some things.

Houses: (forgot lol sorry) with Scorpio in the 9th I feel it's both beneficial and not? It's based on religion and philosophy from what I know. Having Scorpio here creates partial problems with your own identity on the outside or truly and the one that you were expected to be. Having Scorpio here helps with the fact it adds more character in my opinion? It's vague but basically I feel there's more layers here than any other signs. Scorpio is a mover and motivator for the best of it's host, looks, thoughts, opinions. People often pay attention to Scorpios so having it as your sun makes things more difficult as your own thoughts may be fought against by others.

Having your Cancer in the 5th house is fairly well I believe that house is based around children and family. Having it there creates wide opportunities for both life paths and for people to enter your life somehow. Through family or relationships. I know the 11th house is more suited for that but it still works in favour.

[remiwarner]

   ❝𝕴𝖙 𝖇𝖚𝖗𝖓𝖘 𝖆 𝖍𝖔𝖑𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖌𝖍 𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖞𝖔𝖓𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖋𝖊𝖊𝖑𝖘 𝖎𝖙.❞

                    – – a Remi Warner playlist.

1. “Snufs” Kaveh, OnklP   /  (TRANSLATED)

Long fingernails, on some pimp shit Out to find a fucking nightclub to paint white Tony Montana, don’t think he accepts credit But he’ll happily give you your first hit Yo, come and get a (bump of cocaine)

And she asked me if I was keen on something And the line to the bathroom was fucking long cause all the boys were on some

2. “Day ‘N Nite” Kid Cudi

Slow mo When the tempo slows up and creates that new, new He seems alive though he is feeling blue The sun is shining, man, he’s super cool, cool The lonely nights they fade away He slips into his white Nikes He smokes a clip and then he’s on the way To free his mind in search of

Day and night, the lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night He’s all alone and through the day and night The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night At, at, at night

3. “Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked” Cage The Elephant

Oh, there ain’t no rest for the wicked Money don’t grow on trees I got bills to pay, I got mouths to feed And ain’t nothing in this world for free Oh, no, I can’t slow down, I can’t hold back Though you know I wish I could Oh, no, there ain’t no rest for the wicked Until we close our eyes for good

4. “Cold Wolves” The Gromble

‘Cause there weren’t many times that we shared a bed In the presence of strangers, you’d be sharing with them Needed protection and kept me around But I would always let you down Oh, I can always let you down

Machines keep on working I want to believe But tries are to no avail Some of us were born to fail

5. “Let It Bleed” The Used

This poison’s my intoxication I broke the needle off in my skin Picked the scabs and picked the bleeding And assumed that it was all in vain Pulled at a scab that’s never healing Callused, hit me in the face A burning bridge that’s so misleading Poison’s more potent now with the flame

Let it bleed, take the red for what it’s worth Watch the fire Fill your lungs with smoke for the last time If you feel like dying, you might wanna say

The fire department couldn’t drown the city They didn’t even try to wash it clean And what did you think – that I was sober? Put me out ‘cause I’m on fucking fire I pulled at a scab that’s never healing Regret that I kept this clean The most that I can do for you is keep on lying

6. “Prescription” Mindless Self Indulgence

I’m the doctor, I’m the patient Don’t forget that; it’s important If you love me, like I love me Everybody will be sorry

Well, I don’t need nothing before the show I don’t need nothing, well, that’s not so I need something before the show Just a little something to make me go You know what I want You know what I want Give me more, give me more Pretty please, a prescription Give me more, give me more Pretty please, a prescription

I don’t need no one screwing up my fun Over the counter, fill that prescription I don’t need no one screwing up my fun Turn down the bass and fill that prescription

Make it stop, make it stop Pretty please, a prescription Make it stop, make it stop Pretty please, a prescription

7. “Overdose” Grandson

I couldn’t find the thrill again I couldn’t seem to kill the pain I was living in the moment Searching for a little serotonin But this shit ain’t so fun now I can’t deal with the comedown I’ve been living on the run, now Oh, I gotta get out of this town somehow

‘Cause the bad’s been slowly getting worse In this fast lane, living, it’s a curse Better tell me, what’s your life worth? I think it’s time for a change ‘cause the drugs don’t work Anymore, anymore, anymore

Overdose, overdose, overdose, overdose, overdose All fun and games ‘till I hit the floor, comatose

8. “Little Lion Man” Mumford & Sons

Weep for yourself, my man, you’ll never be what is in your heart Weep, little lion man, you’re not as brave as you were at the start Rate yourself and rake yourself, take all the courage you have left And waste it on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head

But it was not your fault, but mine And it was your heart on the line I really fucked it up this time, didn’t I, my dear?

9. “Dread In My Heart” Mother Mother

There’s a godawful shitty feeling of dread in my heart Yeah, it’s got a lot to do with having to finish what I start And at any second now I think it all might fall apart ‘Cause there’s a godawful shitty feeling of dread in my heart

There’s a devil in my brain with a pitchfork and a flame Yeah, he likes to poke around and he likes to tell me things And whenever I begin to feel like I might be deranged I remember there’s a little shitty devil in my brain

Oh, I wonder what it’s like to be the type who doesn’t burn Yeah, the kind who fights the good fight Not the kind you’d find fisti-fucking-cuffing in the dirt

10. “Heavy Shit” Blake Rose

They tell me ‘why, this is all part of life, you see’ But the world keeps circling around me No, can’t seem to stop beating so hard on myself Hence all the shit I pour out Still haven’t found what I’m looking for No, all of these people keep closing doors They told me ‘you can’t keep holding all this shit to yourself Go find a way to let it pour out’

So here I am, trying to figure where it all went wrong Feel like a ghost in my own damn home Starting to wonder how I got so numb To this heavy shit I pour out Bottoming bottles in the mirror when I’m on my own Feel like I’m lost in my own damn bones Can someone tell me how I got so numb To this heavy shit I pour out?

11. “Discoloration” Dawn Golden

You took my hand and brought me down in the morning And I was sitting waiting for the telephone to swallow me whole I saw your face reflected on the resonant screen And I watched your mouth moving like a tired machine Trying to plead with me Trying to swallow me whole

It’s been a while since I’ve been gone and away And I watched your eyes reflect me in a terrible way As you cast your gaze to the flickering hall

And you knelt beside me and you started to pray And the whites of your eyes blackened with a hardened decay And you talked to me in a broken voice

‘In your open mouth Silence me in your coursing Blood in my eyes Dress me in your clothes And swallow me whole’

12. “Blue And Yellow” The Used

And it’s all in how you mix the two And it starts just where the light exists It’s a feeling that you cannot miss And it burns a hole through everyone that feels it

And you never would’ve thought in the end How amazing it feels just to live again It’s a feeling that you cannot miss And it burns a hole through everyone that feels it

Well, you’re never gonna find it if you’re looking for it Won’t come your way, yeah Well, you’ll never find it if you’re looking for it

Should’ve done something, but I’ve done it enough By the way your hands were shaking Rather waste some time with you Should’ve said something but I’ve said it enough By the way my words were fading Rather waste some time with you

13. “Past Life” Trevor Daniel

I’m trying to be honest with my happiness Don’t know why I’m bad at this And I don’t wanna settle in my sadness I know it’s a habit of mine

Perfect, perfect timing I start what I don’t know how to end Don’t re– don’t remind me I ruined it before it began

Last night was the last night of my past life Got me here like ‘you can never figure me out’ Last night was the last night, was the last time I’ll never let you figure me out Sitting here, talking to myself Thinking how I used to use you, only thing I’m used to Last night was the last night of my past life

14. “Graceless” The National

Graceless Is there a powder to erase this? Is it dissolvable and tasteless? You can’t imagine how I hate this Graceless

I’m trying, but I’m graceless Don’t have the sunny side to face this I am invisible and weightless You can’t imagine how I hate this Graceless

I’m trying, but I’m going through the glass again Just come and find me God loves everybody, don’t remind me I took the medicine and I went missing Just let me hear your voice, just let me listen

All of my thoughts of you Bullets through rotten fruit Come apart at the seams Now I know what dying means I am not my rosy self Left my roses on my shelves Take the wild ones, they’re my favorites It’s the side effects that save us Grace Put the flowers you find in a vase If you’re dead in the mind it’ll brighten the place Don’t let ‘em die on the vine, it’s a waste Grace

There’s a science to walking through windows There’s a science to walking through windows There’s a science to walking through windows There’s a science to walking through windows without you

15. “End Credits” Eden

Cigarette ash like wildfire, burning holes in the nighttime Open scars cut like barbed wire White lies flying high like a ceasefire Dropping flags on the shoreline This is as far as I can feel right ‘Cause what you don’t know can harm you

And all we ever wanted was sunlight and honesty Highlights to wanna repeat Let’s get away from here and live like the movies do I won’t mind when it’s over At least I didn’t think for a while

So let’s run, make a great escape And I’ll be waiting outside for the getaway It doesn’t matter who we are, we’ll keep running through the dark And all we’ll ever need is another day We can slow down, ‘cause tomorrow is a mile away And live like shooting stars ‘Cause a happy ending’s hardest to fake

16. “Bloody Shirt” To Kill A King

What you wanna do tonight? I got wounds to lick in life All you’ve said Standing like a stick, this tie could invert to be a noose instead

Oh, you’re lying next to me Heart is beating heavily Blood in your hair, though, oh, and blood on your shirt

It’s too late to say you’re sorry, say you’re sorry still And I stepped out with heavy heart to bail you out again All those things you do, and all those things you do

Get out, get gone, this town is only gonna get worse Get out, get gone, this town is only gonna eat you

17. “No One’s Here To Sleep” Naughty Boy, Bastille

Every carpet, every floor, everywhere I look, I fall Climbing up the walls, I’m climbing up the walls What goes on behind these doors I’ll keep mine and you keep yours We all have our secrets, we all have our secrets

Behind every door is a fall, a fall And no one’s here to sleep

You were always faster than me I’ll never catch up with you, with you Oh, I can feel them coming for me

Here’s the pride before the fall Oh, your eyes, they show it all I can see it coming, I can see it coming As I rise up through each floor Shit gets dark when you lose it all I can hear it coming, I can hear the drumming

18. “Shots” Imagine Dragons

Am I out of touch, am I out of my place When I keep saying that I’m looking for an empty space? Oh, I’m wishing you’re here But I’m wishing you’re gone I can’t have you, and I’m only gonna do you wrong

Oh, I’m gonna mess this up Oh, this is just my luck Over and over and over again

I’m sorry for everything, oh, everything I’ve done From the second that I was born, I sense I had a loaded gun And then I shot, shot, shot a hole through everything I loved Oh, I shot, shot, shot a hole through every single thing that I loved

Am I out of luck, am I waiting to break When I keep saying that I’m looking for a way to escape? Oh, I’m wishing I had what I’ve taken for granted I can’t have you when I’m only gonna do you wrong

Oh, I’m gonna mess this up Oh, this is just my luck Over and over and over again

19. “Apartment” Young The Giant

After leaving my apartment I feel this cold inside me It howls away all through the market It calls your name

On my way to your apartment I write for fear of silence You carved a boat to sail my shadow Now I walk alone Alright, alright

I hit the sidewalk, and this is how it starts Hide in a raincoat when things are falling apart

After leaving your apartment I hear the coast by nightfall So sure to keep you dreaming You understood Oh, I know you understood Yes, sir, it shows I was no good Alright, alright

I hit the sidewalk, and this is how it starts Hide in a raincoat when things are falling apart ‘Cause sooner or later this is bound to stop Come on, let’s savor What we’re falling over

20. “Munich” Editors

It breaks when you don’t force it It breaks when you don’t try It breaks if you don’t force it It breaks if you don’t try

People are fragile things, you should know by now Be careful what you put them through

People are fragile things, you should know by now You’ll speak when you’re spoken to

With one hand you calmed me With one hand I’m still With one hand you calmed me With one hand I’m still

21. “Tamer Animals” Other Lives

Oh, living for the city And it’s always troubling to keep it in the high lane I don’t care about no scenery And you run from it then Now you can’t escape

‘Cause it’s all you see But we’re all just an end to a simple thing And it’s all you see And it’s all you see

We’re just tamer animals We’re just tamer animals

22. “Silhouette” Jacob Lee

I have tried to quantify the reasons I feel incomplete I guess sometimes my wisdom it figures that’s what I need I have tried to sit beside these demons that trip up my feet I guess sometimes it’s weakness that strengthens the skin on your knees

I’ve not liked myself for quite some time now Standing at the mirror with the lights out Try to keep my shadow at a distance Scared of what it’d say if it could listen

I’ve not known myself for quite some time now Staring at the mirror with the lights out Screaming words that I should probably whisper Terrified the light above might flicker

[lenin-it-to-win-it]

rabbit tour!

i just made a “shelf” so all my stuffed animals weren’t crowded on the windowsill and i used this as an opportunity to take pictures of all the ones i have with me so here we go!

this is artemis, a majestic and powerful silver rabbit with a very dramatic backstory

basically i was 5 hours away from home on a work trip and i saw her in the window of a shop BUT it hadn’t opened yet so i had to walk away not knowing if I would have time to get back to the shop before it closed, if someone else would buy the rabbit, or if i even had enough money to buy the rabbit in the first place 

the most I was willing to spend was $20, not because I don’t think this rabbit is a priceless artifact of beauty, but bc im a peasant and my job was technically volunteer work and paid less than minimum wage but ANYWAY i go on and on about this fucking rabbit to anyone who will listen, my coworkers are plotting ways to murder me that will look like an accident, but we get back to the store and the rabbits still there AND ITS ExACTLY $20 SO I IMMEDIATELY BUY IT WITH NO REGRETS BEST PURCHASE OF MY LIFE 

here are some little baby babies i have clipped to my backpack (can you tell i like rabbits???), the yellow one on top is bun might for obvious reasons

 the one in the middle is technically unnamed but i call him sergeant pez bc hes a pez dispenser and he was in one of my dads old military trunks for like a million years until he was cleaning them out and gave him to me 

the light green one is the newest addition, her name is mochi and shes so fucking soft you guys its like petting a delicate cloud 

these arent rabbits but theyre still valid so shut up, the black cat is named agugu (short for akutagawa) bc i was into bung/ou s/tray d/ogs at the time 

the panda in the middle was a gift from my roommate and her name is monochrome because i have another panda back home thats purple and her name is. purple. so i wanted to stick with the theme here

the white tiger is named at2shi after atsushi (from b/ungou st/ray d/ogs again) who can turn into a white tiger but also i already had ANOTHER non-white tiger that was named atsushi so this one is at2shi 

more wild thangs that arent rabbits!

the elephant is слон or “sloane”, слон means elephant in russian and it’s kind of pronounced like the name sloane so it’s a very deep complex and intellectual name, clearly. слон is a puppet that shrieks like the souls of the damned when you squeeze him and he was a gift from my high school russian teacher because i would be Blessed with the duty of making слон scream at students who were speaking english in class, he’s a good comrade 

the tiger is atsushi, im sure you can figure out his deal based on at2shi, i got him at the zoo and hes lovely

the red panda with the minnie ears might have had another name at some point but during my regrettable b/s/d phase i started calling him chuuya and it stuck, also now i put my minnie ears on him bc his head’s the perfect size so im more or less using him as a hat rack which is very on brand for chuuya actually

the purple sloth staring into the camera (and your soul) is gasloth leroux and i won him at dave and busters after re-reading phantom of the opera

(last batch of non-rabbits)

the bear in the snazzy tunic is radar, he was originally my mom’s as a baby and she gave him to me as a baby and since i dont intend on spawning im hoarding him forever #life hack 

yall better know who fucking kermit is 

aannnd we already went over слон in the last picture so! back to the rabbits!

welcome to the purple corner, friends!

the little all purple one in the back is sukie, and she is just baby, only little creacher, nothing can change that, she was a gift for easter i think two years ago now 

the purple and white rabbit with the pink nose laying next to the cardboard shapes is named violet and her fur is very soft and lovely but she has some kind of hard panel inside (she moves, maybe? idk) so not exactly optimized for cuddling, still shes a good girl

the hulking googly eyed purple yarn monstrosity is roundy blumbo and he was handmade by my terrible but talented sister @rattypants​

most of these are new arrivals because walgreens has easter rabbits out and some of them were literally only three dollars so yeah but anyway

the grey one with the pink bow is named toshi after all might (i got him about the same time as bun might so b/nha heavily owned my ass at the time) and hes absolutely perfect for cuddling, very soft and long

the blue one is named bluebell the second or “twobell”, when I was younger I had a really tiny blue stuffed rabbit named bluebell that i would take everywhere but one day i dropped it somewhere in or around a ymca and lost it forever and i literally did not stop crying for two whole days because of it, bluebell the second is a spiritual successor who hopefully wont get lost 

the one that looks just like bluebell the second but not blue is marshmallow, bluebell the seconds identical twin brother who was also 3 dollars because literally, THREE DOLLARS

the one with light brown fur and orange ears is named gingersnap carrot cake because I liked both names and couldnt decide and since i bought him around the same time as bluebell the second and marshmallow, he’s their mischievous older brother and together i guess that makes them the rabbit mcelroys 

now the round rabbit next to toshi with the floppy ears and a smaller rabbit with a green dress on its back is rose and bunnia, the larger one is rose, the mother, and bunnia is her daughter, they have a very close relationship as you can see

the small white and brown rabbit next to rose and bunnia is spenser, named after edmund spenser, creator of the spenserian sonnet, bc i bought her at a renn faire and thought she should have an old timey name, shes a literary icon 

now we’re getting into the old guard! all the rabbits in this picture (aside from carrot cake gingersnap whomst is a SLUT FOR ATTENTION) are all ones i got between the ages of 6-10, so theyre my day ones uwu

the brown rabbit with floppy ears is mocha, she was a christmas present when i was 9 years old and shes probably the most rabbit-shaped rabbit i have 

the rabbit with the bright pink scarf is beatrice (i dont have favorites except actually i do and its beatrice), I got her when i was 7 years old from goodwill and one of her arms was kind of loosely connected and started falling off which Horrified me and i tried to “take care of her” by using a bit of ribbon as a sling, eventually my grandma sewed her arm back on so then i used the ribbon as a scarf and ever since then beatrice has had a scarf of some kind  

the rabbit next to beatrice with the black button eye is wrinkly pinkly, who lost her eye in the warTM (it fell off years later but she claims to have lost it in the war anyway and shes old so everyone just goes along with it), shes very loose and as the name implies, VERY wrinkly which makes her fun to wiggle around 

the bright pink rabbit with the wide head is anna, beatrice’s mom and wrinkly pinkly’s sister, her husband griffy is back home so i dont have a picture of him but their story is very enemies-to-lovers (they were on opposite sides of The War) and shes a very ambitious and powerful figure in rabbitopia despite having hundreds of kids to raise #feminist icon 

the light pink rabbit with the yarn dress is madison, ironically named long before i even remotely knew that madison, wisconsin was a place that exists, and shes beatrice’s younger sister and shes very active and athletic but she also likes being pretty which is why i made her the yarn dress

cottontail (he doesnt actually have a tail) is the town drunk and a constant nuisance, his wife left him so now he’s always hoeing around and causing trouble for everyone (which is also what he did Before his wife left him), one of his legs is more filled than the other so he walks with a limp. his wife took most of the children except

darnell (the long pink rabbit lying down), who inherited her dad’s troublemaking tendencies and loves playing pranks and talking shit 

(last one, for all the zero people who are still reading at this point)

next to cottontail we have aminta in the green dress, i bought her at the airport and shes a very beautiful and distinguished young rabbit who madison is ABSOLUTELY gay for, she’s very proper and is being brought up by

hera nova (the white rabbit with the pink nose and floppy ears in the back) who is the oldest rabbit i have (Ive had her since i was at least 5, though she didn’t get a name until i was in my greek mythology phase a few years later), shes sort of a grandma to all the other rabbits and could absolutely destroy them all if she wanted to 

karoline (yes with a k, i didnt know the kardashians were a Thing back then) is the yellow rabbit with the basket, she works at rabbitopia’s most popular restaurant, the spinning carrot, and she is one of the three main chefs along with her sister 

bonnie, the pink rabbit with only one ear, she got torn up pretty badly over the years but shes still alive and still spinning those carrots!! (there was a third rabbit that worked with them named fritz who was white and holding an easter egg but i don’t remember what happened to her) 

so there we go! rabbits! lots of them! 

[avani008]

If you are still doing the six squared meme, can we have Animal Husbandry, Family Tree and Hours and Day for Krishna? [What can I say, he's a favourite. I think you can empathise. :-P]

(I certainly do :P Behind the cut because this is long)

Animal Husbandry

hair of the dog

“Will there ever come a time, Kanha,” Dau asks wearily, out of breath from outrunning yet another honorary aunt who’s found her butter-churns raided. “where you tire of your mischief and resolve to tell falsehoods no more?”

“Of course,” Krishna lies cheerfully. 

horse sense

Though there is no dearth of subjects about which he might disagree with his cousin Nakula, the one that Krishna takes the most umbrage to is his choice of occupation while in exile.

“Why wouldn’t you have volunteered yourself to tend the cows?” Krishna wants to know. “The world knows they’re much easier, and far more pleasant than your horses–just ask your brother if you don’t believe me.”

“There’s a reason they call me the wise one,” Sahadeva adds, and Krishna beams at him. 

cat with the cream

“And you’ve no idea at all,” says Devaki, still awestruck and admiring of her god-given son to be suspicious, and more than a little relieved to let her children manage household matters, “why the palace cooks complain so?”

“None whatsoever,” replies Krishna earnestly.

a sow’s ear

In truth, Krishna has few expectations of any of his cousins, least of all the Kurus who are known for their discriminating standards–but he sees Yudhisthira’s sharpness, Bhima’s gruff kindness, the twins’ humor, and Arjuna’s everything, and thinks, for the first time: I could make something out of that. 

birds of a feather

“It is your shared complexions that bind you,” people say, and Krishna is content to let them think so, but it is more than that he shares with the Princess of Panchal: it is quick wit, it is quicksilver pride, and most of all a quietly burning anger at the way things are. 

white elephant

He is thanked, over and over again, for his help; and so often he wants to say, It was no help at all, but a burden I must place upon you for no fault of your own.

Family Tree

sins of the father

It is not Vasudeva he blames, but Satvana, who let his people splinter into Andhakas,  Vrishnis, Kukuras, Bhojas and Shainyas. There are years and years of feuds to be answered for, and Krishna–in the end–who must pay the price for them. 

the mother of innovation

When at last his mother Devaki hears of his exploits in Vrindavan, she frowns with disapproval–but not for the reasons his mother Yashoda might have. 

“Why,” she exclaims, “you might have done so much better to rig up a pulley, and lift your butter-pots out from outside the houses, where no one might see you!”

(not) one’s brother’s keeper

“Why worry, Kanha?” Dau says with false cheer before he sets off on his pilgrimage, before he returns and will never quite be able to forgive Krishna for what Krishna has done during the war. “You don’t need me, not really.”

“No,” Krishna admits as the retinue disappears past the palace walls. “But I wanted you with me regardless.”

sister(s) under the skin

“If we did not share each other’s blood,” Subhadra wants to know, “and were strangers to each other, would you still be so proud of me?”

Krishna considers her, the joy of their house, born with all Dau’s courage and all his charm. He considers that he is proud of everyone he meets, of their faults and victories, no matter how big or small they are. He considers his knowledge that she is meant for great things, things that will break her heart in the making.

“Of course I should,” he reminds her gently, and fortunately, she is content with that.

cry uncle

He does not mourn his uncle, does not attend his funeral, does not pretend even the slightest hint of tears and regret as his father and grandfather do.

There will be plenty to mourn in the years to come; Kamsa is not one of them.

There are six bloodstains in the courtyard that stand testament to that.

country cousin

“So,” Shishupala grunts, “you’re Uncle Vasudeva’s secret son.” He manages, somehow, to make son sound every bit as insulting as an accusation of illegitimacy might be; the less said about secret, the better.

Krishna turns, with his most maddeningly insolent smile. “Why yes,” he says with the sort of country drawl even his fellow cowherds might have mocked, “I do believe I am.”

Hours and Days

morning after

The worst day is the first he spends in the palace of Mathura, where he can hear birdsong from his window, so similar to that of Gokul, and when he opens his eyes–

There’s none of Mother’s pots and pans, none of the knickknacks Father persists in carving despite having no perceptible use, none of the flowers garlands and woven clothes Radha has given him. 

There’s only a strange room, full of strange things, that must now be his own. 

high noon

At last it is done, and Dwaraka shines, every corner studded with gems and covered with gold, at his feet.

“It’ll be a dreadful eyesore when the sun catches it at noon,” Rukmini says by his side, but he can see her smile; this city is as much her child as his, and they will never be more proud of it. 

lady of the evening

The nice thing, he realizes, about cultivating a rakish reputation is that no one says anything when he leaves the palace at sunset, only calling out conjectures that he must be going to meet some fine lady or another.

“I certainly am,” Krishna calls back (with perfect honesty, as always, no matter what Dau grumbles) and minds that they don’t notice the empty milk-bucket he holds.

sunset years

“I am not,” Krishna says distinctly, “growing old.”

Akrura and Kritavarma laugh along the rest, and so much the better; let them think it a jest by a man meant to be a few decades past his prime, if it keeps them from realizing that every word is true.

ships in the night

Pradhyumna is taken from Krishna as a baby, and not returned until he is half-grown; Krishna is taken by Samba when his youngest boy is an infant, by politics and plots and pretense upon which the whole world’s fate depends.

Krishna loves his sons, truly he does, but it seems he never knows their childhood for more than a few passing moments. 

bad moon rising

And here is Abhimanyu, who, unlike the rest, Krishna lovingly brings up, there for every lesson and mistake and change; here is Abhimanyu, who still at almost-seventeen, comes to his uncle in the camp of Kurukshetra to ask why the moon looks so swollen and blood-red.

“Because,” Krishna says, and looks away, “he weeps for his son’s return to his rightful place.”

[artificialqueens]

Objects in the Rear View Mirror (Craquameron) - Chapter Thirteen - Saiphl

We’re crusaders of the heart and going all the way is just the start - Chapter Thirteen

Kameron/Aquaria/Brianna PoV

Come on and take me, take me!

We’re crusaders of the heart

And going all the way is just the start

No longer after I’ve been left, I call a cab and go back to the hotel, grab my things and cancel the rest of my reservation. Then I move back to the orange house, which ironically, is giving me a little more room to think on what am I going to do next.

I’m one of the first guests for the career advice week, Blair email my schedule and all the details, and I can’t be more grateful of having something to keep my mind busy.  Images and memories of that night still haunt me whenever I’m distracted, and I can’t help myself from wonder if any of them is thinking of me. Selfish as it might be, I keep wondering if something could have been done in other way, if any of the possible scenarios in my head may led to a different outcome. The hardest part, is that I wouldn’t change a thing, even though I haven’t known about any of them and it hurts like hell.

Two more days go by, and I’m ready to go back to the High School, this time as a guest and not like the outcast I have always been. I’m about to call a cab when my telephone beeps, the message alert jumping on the screen.

Aquaria: I’m around the corner, don’t leave

Aquaria: My speech follows yours, so I thought to come and pick you up

I raise a brow, two whole days of radio silence and she comes as if we just had dinner together. When she arrives, I’m still laughing at myself, no matter how pissed I can be about the silence, being in full conscience of her coming here again relieves me more than I’ll let myself to admit. The car stops and I walk out the door, making sure to leave it closed this time. Before I could even react, a pair of arms are surrounding my waist, and the heat of Aquaria’s body and the scent of her perfume hits me in full display.

Turning to face her, she tightens her grip on my waist. “First of all… I’m sorry, I needed to clear my head”, she says, just to briefly kiss my lips. “Then, I thought of all these, and, if you want, I’m open to give it a chance and see where does it take us.” She kisses me again, this time longer than before. “We also need to decide what are going to do about Brianna,” one more kiss, the one that makes me dizzy. “And last… would you be my +1 to my sister’s wedding next saturday?”,  she asks, whispering to my ear and nipping my earlobe when she’s done.

One thing is sure, and it is that if I don’t break this moment, we will not make it to the school, and they’re counting on us, so, reluctantly, I kiss her one more time and then make some space between us. “Forgiven, but I won’t forget it miss thing,” Aquaria laughs, and I get lost on the joy of her beautiful face, then I lock hands with her and start walking towards the car. “Wow… you just said you want to try and date and you invite me to your sister’s wedding? that’s quite a step.” She gives me a side look. “Guess she will talk to us when she’s ready to do so, by now you must know that confrontation is not her strongest suit. Anyhoo, I’m happy that you came back, I was feeling lonely.” Aquaria kiss my cheek, just to clean the cherry red stain on my face, then she gives me that look that clearly says fuck all the way off/I missed you too.

“Guess you’re right babe, one step at time,” she opens the car door letting me hop in, and before closing it she asks “so… about Nebraska’s wedding?” I laugh, and then nod at her. Her smile widens and I can tell she’s happy.

“Count me in… but I’ll need to get a dress, I didn’t pack anything for that kind of event.” Aquaria giggles and jumps a couple of times; she closes the door and then goes fast to the driver’s seat. We make it just in time to be introduced to the auditorium that’s crowded with teenagers that seem bored and listening to some of the speakers makes it harder for them with their monotonous voices and the lack of emotion about their own professional lives.

I have never been a natural speaker, and when it’s finally my turn to talk, the kids seem about to fall asleep. Getting nervous I trip on my own feet when I’m walking to the podium, and it makes the crowd come back to life. I start talking, my voice unsure and I nervously look at Aquaria in the front line, her smile giving me the reassurance I needed to talk about my passion, and showing them not theory, but actually the ideas in my mind shaping in stages for theater plays and TV studios.

Sometimes it’s the flesh

And the way it seems to yearn

For all the magic of the single perfect touch

I keep looking at Kameron during her speech, and struggle to keep focused on the audience while I give mine. Some of the students seem excited about what we do and how we got to achieve what we have. A group of girls gather around me asking about how life at FIT is, and another group is asking Kameron about choices on Architecture and design. I know it had just been a couple of days, but never got to ask her what does she do for a living, and after that night I found out we both live in New York. I wonder what else will I discover about this amazing woman.

We leave the High School hand in hand, still laughing about the stiffness of many of the former students, and how I’ve stuttered out of excitement about what I do for a living. “Shut up! there were just two words, and no one but you noticed”, I say, making her laugh louder.

“Ok, just two words, but everyone there noticed, believe me”, she mocks, making me flush, I lower my face and she stops to lift it with our conjoined hands. “You look so cute when you’re blushing”, she says and I feel my skin burning. I can’t really remember the last time I felt like this, and being honest: I really like it. “Well my lady, are you coming to dress shopping or will you let me surprise you?” Looking at her, and faking annoyance I lean to kiss her, muttering you’re impossible over her lips, just to pull her to the car.

“I’m going with you to that dress shopping, I need to make sure you don’t look better than me and my bridesmaid dress.” She fake coughs to hold back a cackle, and by the time we reach the car, most of the guests of the advice career day are looking at us, half curious, half offended by our chirpy loud talk.

We spend the rest of the day looking for a dress. To choose a dress for Kameron may be one of the most difficult tasks to perform, it’s not about her body or height, it’s about her looking ravishing with basically anything she wears. By the evening we have seen more than fifteen gowns and still can’t make a decision. “Baby, honey, darling, dear… I know you’re showing off, but I’m starving and you have-to make a decision… like right now” I demand, feeling exhausted, and regretting with all my heart not having a sewing room at my mom’s, so I could create something just for her.

“Alright Ms. Bossy Pants, I’ll pick one, but you can’t complain about it”, she says pointing at me with her index finger, and I bite it playfully. Twenty minutes later, we have a beautiful black dress that shows her legs, her arms, her shoulders and marks her hourglass body beautifully. We get some food, and talk about our lives in New York, I learn she’s working for a Stage Building company, still as a junior designer, but working hard to get a promotion, and I tell her about my work at that indie fashion store, the one that found my work good enough to give me a chance as a designer assistant. Later that night, I leave her at her mother’s house after an hour or two of making out.

The following days went way too fast, and Kameron was really helpful, not just by helping me running errands, but also helping Momma to set all the decorations together, and making sure Mom didn’t kill the caterer, making it easy for Sjoerd, who still feels awkward and relieving Nebraska in the process, and mainly, keeping my anxious head at bay, just because that house easily became madness.

The night before the wedding, I stay at Kameron’s, we spend the night watching Netflix, cuddling and making out, once we finished with a movie, she put her laptop out and turned to look at me. “I hate to be the one bringing this to the table babe, but we need to talk about the big white elephant in the room”, I nod, knowing exactly that she is talking about Brianna, a subject we avoided like masters.

“She will be there tomorrow,” I say, matter of factly, “she’d never turn Nebraska down, she loves her like a little sister.” Kameron nods, clearly understanding how the relationship of my family with the Crackers had been working for at least 26 years. “You know Kam? I’d like her to be part of these… like, a part of us.” She looks at me, one of her brows arched, thinking.

“I’d love to get her with us, I really do, but I’m not sure if she’s ready to make a decision like this, Aqua”, her tone is somber, and I can see sadness in the back of her eyes. “As much as we could make an effort to bring her with us, the whole idea might be overwhelming for her.” In my ideal world, things would work for the three of us. We would be happy, together, building a life for the three of us, maybe even raising a family. Then, I know Kameron’s right, Brianna’s emotions are still messed up, and she didn’t try to contact any of us. Maybe this is the time when we give up on her… and it’s not that we don’t love her, it’s just she’s way too afraid.

Say a prayer for all the sins

Let the dancing never end

Let the future now begin

It’s been a whole week since I left Kameron’s house in the middle of the night, and I can barely believe that time ran so fast. Gratefully, the group of guests they had for the career advice week is not the same where Aquaria and Kameron are included, so I can concentrate on what I have to do.  To be honest, I haven’t been able to think in any other thing that what happened that night, I find myself recalling the sensation of Kammy’s fingers in my sex and Aqua’s lips on my breasts one time and another until the need to release tension is unbearable.

Dad, Jamin, his wife and Mom are the happiest about my sexual unreleased tension, cause I unleash it the best way possible, which means relentlessly cooking… all day long. From breakfast to dinner, going through brunch and tea time cookies and scones, I spend most of my time keeping my hands busy and giving my family some extra pounds they’ll never complain about. Blair, my dear friend and now sister-in-law, looks at me in suspicion and rubbing her growing baby bump. “Brianna… I know it’s not of my business but, you’re acting weird since the meeting of the career advice week,” she says, and I can tell she’s being cautious while I vigorously mix flour, milk, fresh vanilla and eggs for the evening cookies. “I bet my right hand that it’s related to Aquaria and Kameron.”

“Come on, Jamin has the biggest mouth in the fucking world,” I say, frustrated, not only my fucking sex life was miserable, but a matter of public knowledge. Blair laughs, and looks back just to make sure my brother is not around. “How can you be so sure that this is about Aquaria and Kameron? why doesn’t this be about any other person?” I ask, irritated, and mixing the ingredients with even more strength.

“Oh God, Brianna! first of all, calm down, you’re making a hole on that bowl. Then, Jamin has nothing to do with my conclusions,” she says, with a petulant smile on her lips. “I may not know a thing about being a lesbian, but I know for sure when someone wants to jump another’s bones”.  She looks around again and whispers, forcing me to lay down my bowl. “And I saw the hunger in both of them, they were chasing you… and also, I saw you leaving together in Aquaria’s car.” I sigh defeated and then nod.

“Yeah, we left the school together, and we had a talk. And I kissed them,” I whisper, rushing my words. “And it was fucking awesome, and then I slept with both of them. And that was beyond incredible” the simple admission of that little fact, seems to release a huge weight from my shoulders. We spend the following hours talking about what happened with them, and how hard it’s being for me to make a decision. For the first time in so many years, I let myself talk long and detailed about my fears about letting Aquaria in once again, and also about my regrets about never looking back for Kameron once I came from Paris.

Talking with Blair about all this issues, and about that part of my life was refreshing, especially when she helped me to put together the pieces that didn’t make sense. I understand that they’re actually in love with me too, as much as I’m in love with both of them. Obviously I keep that part for myself, anyway, I’m pretty sure that Blair already know what I’m hiding. When the last cookies were decorated, I was positively sure of two things: The first, I am deeply and utterly in love with this incredible women, and second, as much as I’d want to be with both of them, I’ll have to let them decide who of them is able to live knowing that she’s not the only one.

Later, Mom and Dad are sleeping at the end of the hall, Jamin and Blair crashed on my brother’s old room straight in front of my door. Lester is snoring by mi side, the puppy fast asleep while I scratched his head. Absentmindedly I look at the dress hanging on the back of my door. When I bought that dress back in New York, I remember the joy I felt when mom told me we were invited to a wedding, and not only a wedding, but Nebraska’s one. I’ve always seen that gorgeous girl as my little sister. First like the living doll that both our mothers never allowed to play dress up with, and then as the positive and cheerful girl she grew up to be.

Now, I still feel joyful about her and the big step she’ll take by getting married, but the idea of having to face Aquaria just make me wish not having to show up. Maybe she won’t say a thing on her sister’s big day, still, she’s always been confrontational and short tempered. She’ll want to know what’s going on with me and my silence, and for sure I’ll have to explain myself one way or another. Then she’ll have to decide if she’s still willing to get involved with the mess of my emotions.

My anxiety takes over and after some more hours of failed attempts, I finally fall to a restless sleep that’s crystal clear when my family looks at me in the morning. Jamin and Mom mock me on the undeadlish color of my face, both Blair and Dad lecture them. Blair gives me a cup of coffee, which I grateful take as a temporary peace treaty.

We finally hop in my father’s car and I curse my choice of gown as far as I can barely sit comfortably. when we arrive to the church, there’s a lot of people gathered there already and the bells are calling all of us to get in. The ceremony starts and Aquaria opens the line, looking like lust in her mauve satin gown, her deep cleavage a distraction even for the groom’s best man. The rest of the procession gets in, and finally Nebraska comes, both Sharon and Alaska by her sides. They reach their final positions, and I see Aquaria smiling wide, not looking at her sister, but two lines back, exactly where Kameron’s auburn hair stands out of the sea of heads.

There are so many wounds you can’t heal

So many nightmares are turning too real

So much of paradise lost and you added the cost

But there’s nothing to be sorry for

Now we can feel so much more

Now we can be loving you

Nothing that we’re scared to do.

[reidfoley80-blog]

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[astridxreyes]

W H O    A R E    Y O U?

ASTRID REYES

AGE: 28 APPEARANCE: Astrid rarely wears makeup and, when she does, she wears a bare face kind of "no makeup" makeup look. She likes fashion and likes experimenting with clothes, but often is seen in more plain jane clothes in an attempt to blend in (ex. t-shirt, jeans , sweaters, white sneakers). GLASSES/CONTACTS? She has glasses that she occasionally wears, but only to help her blend in as a "human" who needs reading glasses. TATTOOS? She has a matching tattoo with her friend Liv (who she accidentally turned into a harpy) that says "to infinity" across her rib cage (here); A couple of watercolored little birds on her right collar bone (here); stay gold tattooed across her left wrist (here); a tattoo that says 'but without the dark, we'd never see the stars' on her left upper thigh (here); a little anchor on the back of her neck (here); and a little elephant on the back of her ankle (here). SCARS OR BIRTHMARKS? Astrid has a couple different scars on her body. She has some scars on her hips and her wrists from TW: self harm; Her left wing doesn't tilt exactly right and a has a scar across from it; she has a tiny little scar that can barely be seen across her right temple. RICH OR POOR? Astrid grew up in poverty and although her adopted family is very wealthy, she lives a lower middle class lifestyle not wanting to borrow money from them. SPECIFIC TICK OR MANNERISM? She fidgets with her hair when she's nervous, often switching up her part from one side to the other or fidgeting with the hem of her skirt or shirt as she talks to people; she also has a tendency to rock back and forth slightly on the balls of her heels and nibble on her bottom lip.

P E R S O N A L I T Y ?

What is your idea of perfect happiness? 

“I don’t really know if I believe in perfect happiness anymore, but I guess if I had to pick I’d say that moment when I just forget where I am. When the world around me fades away and I just can exist without the past or... fear of the future.” If she had to pick a specific moment, she knew it would have been when she was flying, high above the trees, far away from any source of people whom she could hurt, where she could just sing to her hearts content, letting the wind kiss her cheeks.

What is your greatest fear? 

Being found out, being sent to prison or even worse, transferred. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t scare the shit out of me, excuse my language, to be sent somewhere- anywhere- away. But, I think the part of me that scares me more is what would happen to my family- the Reyes who took me in when they didn’t have to- and my friends like Liv. I did this to her, I scratched her. I turned her. I ruined her life and, because of me, she might end up spending the rest of it behind bars. And Damien- he already lost so much. I wonder if he’d even look at me again if I ruined what was left of his family, Astrid couldn’t help but think. But, she wouldn’t ever dare mutter it out loud.

What is your biggest pet peeve or trait you deplore in yourself? 

“There’s kind of too many to list. But, I guess if I had to pick I’d say just not feeling able to be myself? Or even really knowing who I am? I sometimes see other people around my ages, fooling around laughing and letting loose. You know, those people who are the focus of every group they’re apart of, who make you laugh out loud and are just magnetic? Those people who everyone can’t help but be drawn to? I see them and I get jealous, so freaking jealous, because I can never be like that. And it’s not just because-” Because she was undeclared. “I just- sometimes I feel like I’m drowning in my own body. In my own skin. Like no matter who I’m around or what I do, I’m on edge and petrified of being myself, of letting people in, of getting hurt again, of having someone take something of mine that wasn’t theirs to take. I hate that I don’t feel safe, that I haven’t felt safe since I was like 10 years old and will probably never feel safe again and- and I hate when I look at these bright amazing people, I know deep down that I’m not one of them and I probably never will be, I guess...”

What is your biggest pet peeve or trait you deplore in others? 

“I don’t know? I don’t really know if there is one. But, maybe being entitled? Those people who feel like the world belongs to them and everything is for their taking even if it’s not?”

Which living person do you most admire? 

“I have two. My mom and dad. My adopted mom and dad. They took me in and gave me everything. Not just a home, but a family even if it was far from easy. They’re kind of the coolest people in the world and I don’t know what I’d do without them.”

Which living person do you most despise? 

“I don’t know if he’s alive anymore, but...” Charlie...

What is your greatest extravagance?

“College? I only went for a year and a half before it was just too much to keep paying for on my own, but it’s definitely the most I’ve probably ever spent on anything.”

What do you consider the most overrated virtue? 

“Maybe faith? I don’t just mean in the ‘higher power’ sense. I mean just hope. Believing that everything is going to be okay, even if the world is falling apart at the seams?”

On what occasion do you lie? 

“I kind of lie everyday, now-a-days. About who I am? Where I came from? But, I guess I lie the most when I tell people ‘I’m fine’.”

“What is the quality you like most in a significant other?

“Optimism? Or maybe humor? If someone can make me smile or let my walls down, they’re a-okay in my book.”

 Do you have a catchphrase? Which words or phrases do you most overuse? 

“Maybe ‘Gosh Darn it?’”

Who or what is the greatest love in your life? 

“Fiyero Tigelaar. And if you know who that is, then you probably know why.” She’s a little theater nerd and fell in love with singing and the stage.

When and where were you happiest? 

“The first time I flew across the lake. I kind of had a whole Harry Potter riding a hippogriff, moment. It’s was pretty awesome.”

Which talent would you most like to have?

“Shapeshifting would be pretty cool, but I’d settle on getting over my stage fright?” Or singing without the possibility of accidentally paralyzing someone or knocking them out... Kind of puts a damper on being a broadway star and all.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? 

Being Declared without having to go to jail, would be pretty cool? She couldn’t help, but think.

If you could pick up and go anywhere, where would you most like to live? 

“Just get me anywhere in Europe with a backpack and I’ll be happy.”

What is your most treasured possession? 

“My Hello Kitty backpack. It’s silly and cheesy, but it’s all I’ve got from before I ran away, so...”

What do you value most in your friends?

“Faith, trust, and I have yet to find someone with pixie dust, but that would be cool too.”

Who is your hero of fiction? 

“Elle Woods. She got into Harvard. You know, not like it’s hard or anything.”

What historical figure do you most identify with? 

“Amelia Earheart. She was the first female aviator to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean and she just never let anything hold her back. I don’t know if I’m anything like her, but I want to be.”

What is your greatest regret? 

“Not getting out fast enough when Charlie... when I was turned.”

What is your life’s motto?

“If you’ve seen Warm bodies-”

Would you describe yourself as being an optimist or a pessimist?

“Optimist. I’d say I’m a glass half full type of person, but I drink water too fast to have half of anything left.”

Introvert or Extrovert? 

“Introvert aka a not so closeted loner... I really should get that on a t-shirt.”

How do you hope others will see you? 

“Hooman?”

How are you seen by others currently? 

“Nice? Which I kind of hate by the way. I mean being nice is great and all. At least, I’m not the devil or anything, even if our pastor might disagree if he-” learned the truth. “But, in my experience, nice is kind of the go-to-word to describe someone you know nothing about.”

How do you see yourself? 

“Like Tracey Turnblad shoved inside a scrappy filipina body.”

How do you react to praise? 

“Last time someone complimented me, I’m pretty sure I flailed my arms and made a sound that could best be described as an awkward dinosaur noise? So not great.”

How do you react to criticism? 

“I thrive in it. My self-esteem loves being taken down a notch. But, in all seriousness, I try to prove them wrong and often end up doing something I’ll probably regret like doing a weird rollerblade dance routine to Stayin’ Alive. Clearly, one of my finer moments.”

Do you often make snap judgements or take time to consider? 

“I’d like to think I’m a rational thinker, but... did I mention the Staying’ Alive boogy dance? On Roller blades?”

Do you think you lead more with your head or your heart? 

“Bu-dum, bu-dum, bu-dum...  I was trying to make a heart sound and the second I did, I instantly regretted it.”

When was the last time you cried? 

“When half of the ice cream in my cone fell on the ground. What? It was a very traumatic experience.” Even, though she knew it was actually when her parents asked her if they could adopt her. Happy tears.

What is your guilty pleasure? 

“The Bachelor franchise. It’s like watching a car crash. It’s horrifying, but you can’t look away. That or singing to show tunes in my car at the top of my lungs when no one’s watching or sitting in the taco ball parking lot eating a quesarito while... also listening to showtunes. And then I end up ordering dominos and make the deliver guy knock on my window like I’m doing some shady drug deal when in actually it’s just for cookie brownies and those parmesan bread knots... I have a lot of guilty pleasures.”

When was the last time you showered? 

“This morning and every morning like a hygienic person?”

Are you the type of person who talks in the movie theater? 

“No. Unless it’s a horror movie. Then, you’ll find me curled up in my chair, peaking through the cracks in my fingers covering my eyes, screaming at the characters not to go in the room and asking them why in the world they’d be asking if anyone’s home when they hear a creepy noise upstairs, as if the killer is just going to respond with ‘oh hi love! I’m just making myself a sandwich. But, don’t worry. I’ll be down in a giffy to kill ya.’”

Are you more of an indoor cat or an outdoor bird? 

“I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a plane-” (Cue Five for Fighting - Superman) She’s an outdoor person.

Are you a fan of Harry Potter and, if so, what would be your Hogwarts house? 

“Honey badgers don’t care.” She’s a huge Harry Potter fan and a Hufflepuff all the way.

Do you like superheroes and, if so, which character is your favorite? DC or Marvel? 

“Yes! And Kitty Pryde aka Shadowcat.”

Did you used to play Pokemon? And if so, what be your starter Pokemon? 

“Yes! And in the versions I’ve played, Squirtle and Piplup.”

Star Wars or Star Trek? Or neither?

“Both?”

If you were in the Hunger Games, what would be your game plan? 

“Hide?” Hide until I get caught and then fly up real high or sing until anyone who tried to attack me gets stunned so that I can escape?

If the zombie apocalypse happened today, how would you defend yourself?

“I’m a goner anyways, so...” ZOMBIE HARPY HERE I COME!

What’s the first thing you do when you’re home alone?

“Slide across the floor like I’m Tom Cruise in Risky Business while singing ‘What Dreams are Made Of’ into a hairbrush like Hillary Duff.”

What is the most overplayed song you listen to? 

“Defying Gravity or Satisfied. Can you tell I used to be a theater kid in High School?”

Do you believe in a thing called love?  (cue the Darkness song…) 

“I believe in a thing called love Just listen to the rhythm of my heart There's a chance we could make it now We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down I believe in a thing called love Ooh!...

too much?”

Do you believe in love at first sight? 

“No. I believe in lust at first sight, but when you think about the cliche disney fall in love moments- Prince Charming couldn’t even recognize Cinderella when she didn’t have a big ball gown on and, in Snow White, which also was Prince Charming funny enough... he was kind of a stalker and necrophiliac? And yeah... I don’t know if I want that personally.”

If you could travel to any period in time, future or past, where would it be? 

“I’m kind of happy now, to be honest. Even though I wouldn’t mind reliving the early 2000′s again?”

Have you committed a crime? 

“Who? Me? Nooooo.... Never....” I’m literally undeclared so... you do the math?

If you could commit a crime and get away with it, what would it be? 

I’d like to continue being undeclared without being caught, thank you very much.

If you found yourself trapped in an elevator with a group of strangers, what would be the first thing you’d do? 

“Panic? I’ve seen Tower of Terror and I have no want to be the little girl in that movie.”

[albionscastle]

First Impressions Part 2

In which, just like Darcy, Jack makes an arse of himself and is kind of a douche. 

 And Tom falls head over heels for the lovely Jaina, who I based on the awesome @tomgcsglasses hope Uni isn’t kicking your butt too much, love.

First Impressions: Asshole Meet Idiot

LIZZIE

Friday dawned ridiculously hot and humid, and Lizzie was dreading the day ahead. Every year she volunteered to help out at the Pierogi Fest and every year she would wake up on the day regretting the decision. But what could she do? Charlie was the main organizer and as her best friend he knew she had literally nothing else to do for the next three days. Besides he could work a guilt trip like no one else on the planet, and he’d always known exactly which buttons to push.

Jaina was already in the kitchen when Lizzie stomped in looking for coffee. For the last week 5am had been about the only time she could study without their mother hovering. She was starting to look strained to Lizzie’s eye.

“Want some?” she held up the bag of Death Wish coffee that was hidden behind boxes of granola.

“No thanks. You know I think they recalled that stuff, Lizzie, it can kill you.”

“Can it do it before 7am? That way I don’t have to go today?”

“Why do you always say yes when you hate it so much?”

“Because I’m obviously spineless and I haven’t been able to say no to Charlie since 3rd Grade. He’s my kryptonite.”

“It’s because you’re a good person Lizzie.”

“Shhh, don’t ever let anyone hear you say that, I have a reputation to uphold.”

Jaina snickered, turning back to her books. Lizzie sat, sipping her coffee and watching her sister. She really was the best of them, sweet, shy, big-hearted and smart, not to mention gorgeous. Men would stop to look when she walked down the street, and when she smiled it was all over. They could not have been more different, but of all the girls they were the closest, nothing and no one could ever come between the bond they had.

“Lizzie, do you think I’m silly for being nervous about today?”

“The pre-arranged meeting before your arranged marriage? Why be nervous? Your future is already planned, I’m already considering coming to live with you, Tom and your 10 kids.”

Lizzie chortled, thankful that Jaina laughed too.

“I wouldn’t worry about anything until you actually meet him Jai, I mean you may not even like him.”

“I’m just worried that I will, and that he won’t like me.”

“He’s going to love you, one meeting and he’ll be head over heels if he has any sense at all. And if he doesn’t, then poo to him with knobs on.”

“I want you to be there Lizzie, you know how Mom and Lydia get.”

“Text me when it’s going down, I’ll bring food to ease the awkward. Dad said he was expecting to meet up at 7 right? After the parade?”

“Yeah.”

“Well hell, if Tom can still speak a coherent word after that experience then I would say he’s a keeper.”

“Wait till he hears the music.” Jaina giggled.

“The perfectly coiffed and quite possibly carved from marble Mr. Glynn Carney, surrounded by thousands of drunks, listening to polka music in Whiting Indiana, with our family. The poor bastard is going to need therapy, which I’m sure you can provide.”

Lizzie waggled her eyebrows suggestively, earning a punch on the arm for her trouble.

“I’m off, I’ll see you later. Don’t worry, he’s going to be drooling at your feet before you can even speak a word.”

Jaina blew her a kiss, head back in her books before the door even closed.

JACK

Jack turned from the window of his hotel room looking confused.

“I’m sorry we’re goin tae do what now?”

“Pierogi Fest.” Tom stated from the doorway.

“Can ye explain tae me what a Pierogi is?”

“Not really, no. I was told that it’s some kind of pasta or dough stuffed with potatoes and cheese, or fruit or whatever. Doesn’t matter, we’re going.”

“So we’re somewhere where they haf a festival fer some kind of stuffed dough ball? And ye want tae go out there and join in?”

“Sounded like fun, there’s music, a parade, a beer garden.”

“It’s hotter than the sun oot there.”

“It’s called sunblock, Jack, surely your pale Scottish ass knows that much. Come on, you can’t stay in this room for the next three months.”

“Try me.” Jack muttered, looking back out over the water, the Chicago skyline standing dark against the blue sky.

It wasn’t that he was afraid to try new things, usually he was pretty much up for anything if he wasn’t the one instigating. Even a food festival that sounded so ridiculous that it couldn't be made up would usually be right up his alley.

But that was before. Now all he wanted was to film his scenes and hide away until he could go home. He didn’t want to be around people, except his true friends and his family. Everyone else could just go get fucked as far as he was concerned.

“Jack, it's been a year, mate. You can’t keep hiding away. It’s time to have some fun again. Have some drinks, some food, hell get laid cause you really need to.”

“Ye ain’t goin tae let this go are ye?” Jack sighed, already looking for a clean shirt to change into.

“Nope, now come on. I have high hopes for this thing to be the silliest event I’ve ever been to.”

Tom’s hope for ridiculous was founded from the moment they left the hotel and saw the number of cars in the lots and the bright school buses going back and forth. The main street was closed when they got down a block and Jack could only see a dense sea of people that seemed to go on forever.

“This is awesome!” Tom shouted over the sound of polka music blasting from a 12 foot stack of hot pink speakers.

Jack only saw thousands of people who would be bumping into him, crowding and crushing him. Sweat trickled down his back making his t-shirt stick to him, he was pretty sure even his jeans were going to be soaked by the time he got back to his room. He hated heat, and this humidity was like nothing he’d ever felt before.

“Oh, shit sorry bro!” Jack staggered as a shirtless man bumped him, sloshing a can of beer over his arm. Hell. He was definitely in hell.

LIZZIE

Hell. She was standing in hell. In fact Lizzie was pretty sure that if she turned around she would see actual fire licking at her behind from the pavement.

“Charlie! The soap people were asking if we have any extra fans, their shit is melting.”

“They ask every year and the answer is always no. Did the food truck situation get sorted?”

“Yeah the City guys came and added some extra outlets to the pole. Everyone has juice now. Jesus fuck how hot does it have to be?”

Lizzie went to the freezer in the Chamber of Commerce break room and grabbed a handful of ice, rubbing it over her face and neck as it melted almost immediately against her heated skin.

“It’s currently a balmy 97 degrees with 70% humidity. It's a gorgeous day, dollface.”

“For you maybe.” she grunted, falling into a chair.

Charlie stood by the door, resplendent in his tie dye ‘volunteer’ shirt and shorts. He didn’t even look like he’d been sweating, even his hair was perfect. Bastard. For her part, Lizzie could have wrung out her bra into a glass, even her damn shorts were damp. Her face was flushed, nose sunburned, even with SPF 50 on and her hair was starting to escape her braid and hanging limply around her face.

Charlie looked like a fucking supermodel while she looked like a hobbit on a bender. It made her sick.

“Stop glaring at me Lizzie, you know I can’t help that I’m gorgeous, it's in my DNA.”

“As someone who’s meet your brother I dispute that fact.”

“It’s the gay gene. I like to call it my Gay Witchcraft, a secret we can never share with you straights. If you don’t have it, you don’t have it. Sorry Sweets.”

Lizzie muttered something unintelligible under her breath, coming very close to kicking him when her stomach started gurgling.

“You mainlined coffee for breakfast again didn’t you? Did you get lunch?”

“When have we had time for lunch?” her stomach gurgled again and Lizzie realised exactly how hungry she was.

“Go get something to eat, I’ll hold down the fort. Get me an elephant ear though would you?”

Lizzie pushed her way out of the chamber and into the dense crowd, making her way forcefully towards the truck she knew was selling the good fried dough. Most people stepped aside when they noticed her shirt and the walkie clipped to her shorts, and those that didn’t, well she had pointy elbows and she knew how to use them.”

Elephant ears obtained, she fought her way back to the air-conditioned building, taking a huge bite of hers before turning towards Charlie and crashing into a solid wall of sweaty man.

“Shit! Sorry man, didn’t see you there.” she mumbled around her mouthful of food, conscious of the powdered sugar coating her lips.

There was a grunt in reply and Lizzie raised her eyes up, and up some more, finally landing on a face she recognized, even through the sweat and flush. It was a face that she’d dreamed about several times in the last week, the kind of dreams that made her skin prickle and turn bright red in front of him in person.

Well fuck.

JACK

After a few beers Jack decided that he could see himself having a decent time at this quaintly idiotic festival, if it wasn’t for the heat. He had always liked colder weather, lived for it even. The summers back home were usually uncomfortable but bearable. But he had never been in the American Midwest in summer. He couldn;t for the life of him understand how these people could function. Heat made him sweat, sweat made him grouchy and tired.

And he needed to pee. Crazy bad and every porta-potty had a line at least a dozen deep.

“Tom, mate, we need tae find a loo.” he was a 28 year-old man hopping from one foot to another in the middle of the street like a toddler.

“Yeah, right sure.” Tom laughed, looking around, smiling at every pretty girl who strolled past.

The girls were smiling back too, at Tom not him. Somehow the prick still managed to look like a fucking Disney Prince despite the heat.

“Here Jack, there’s a volunteer, I’m sure she’ll know where you can go.”

Jack’s eyes followed Tom as he stepped in behind a young woman in a garish tie-dyed shirt and jean shorts, hands full of food. Another time he might have appreciated the milky pale skin and trim figure, but all he could see was her swiftly leaving them behind, unconcerned with the misery he was experiencing. Irrationally he felt angry toward the oblivious redhead, blaming her for his current predicament.

He saw her go into a building and groaned, there went his chance at not pissing himself in a public place. For a moment he stood still, people crashing around him, every one of them strangers and comfortable in this place where he felt so completely out of his element. He hated crowds, heat, oppressive noise and he just wanted to go home.

“Come on Jack!” Tom was at the door the volunteer had disappeared into and, as he stepped through it, the feel of the chilled air over his skin was a bliss of almost orgasmic proportions. The woman he’d seen was backing up towards him, her mouth covered in sugar as she chewed something that smelled delicious. She was still oblivious to his presence and it bothered him for some reason he couldn’t explain.

The inevitable collision came, he wasn’t going to move out of the way, wasn’t his fault if she wasn’t looking where she was going. She turned at the last moment, but not in time and she walked into him with a wallop that made his bladder scream in agony. He grunted, hands in the air to avoid grabbing at his crotch to hold the contents in. The woman was small, almost a foot shorter than him and had a mouth on her too he thought irritably. She was apologising and he just wanted her to hush so she could direct him to a toilet.

Her eyes met his through both their sunglasses, her face and neck turning bright red as she stared.

He didn’t have time to be polite.

“Loo. Please.” he loathed the begging whine of his voice but it got his point accross as she bolted into action.

“Sure, this way, I’ll show you.”

His teeth were clenched so hard that he couldn’t even manage a thank you as he shoved through the door, hi zipper barely opened before his bladder let loose. He wanted to moan, it felt so good and as it was his hand flat against the wall was the only thing holding him up when his legs buckled in relief. Never had he been happier to take a piss in his life.

At the sink he splashed cold tap water on his face looking in the mirror at his slightly sunburned face and bloodshot eyes. He looked like shit and, after taking a test sniff of his underarms, he realised he didn’t smell much better. This wasn’t him at all. He was fastidious and clean usually, unless he was playing football. He didn’t walk around as though he didn’t give a shit and hadn’t showered in anything but his own sweat. “Really attractive mate.” he muttered, sighing when he realised that there was still at least 2 hours before Tom wouldn’t fuss at him like an old woman for going back to the hotel for a shower.

Tom was sitting in an armchair when jack exited the bathroom, looking easy and cool, a bottle of water in his hand as he chatted with two volunteers. They all looked up, the woman silently handing him a bottle.

“Thanks.” he looked at Tom entreatingly, wanting to leave. His irritation toward the volunteer hadn’t completely subsided and to be honest he was embarrassed at almost losing his bladder in front of her.

With a chuckle Tom said said his goodbyes as Jack walked out the door, back into the wet blanket heat.

“Well that was rude Jack. I’ve never known you to be such an ass before.”

“I just about wet myself Tom.”

“Thats no excuse for the way you just acted.”

“I said thanks fer the water.” Jack protested, starting to realise that he had indeed been kind of a dick.

“You barely muttered it, that poor girl was just trying to help, its not her fault that you’re having a shit time of it.”

Jack was silent as they walked through the crowds, if there was one thing that made him more uncomfortable than heat and crowds, it was guilt. And he was feeling guilty about the way he’d reacted to the girl, who had helped him despite his rudeness. It wasn’t her fault that he was crabby and hot, or that his love life was a black hole since Lisa has fucked off. He had simply projected all his misery onto her at that moment, and it hadn't been fair.

He really was an ass.

He thought about going back to apologize, even making it as far as the door before seeing the crowd of people in there, volunteers all looking harried and exhausted. He decided that it wasn’t a good time and that she’d probably had her fill of obnoxious bastards for one day.

She probably wouldn’t even remember him.

Feeling a little better, he actually enjoyed the parade - which was nuts- complete with its precision lawnmower team and Polish buscias who were pinching the cheeks of every young man. And not the ones on their faces either he realised with a blush as a hand grabbed his ass. He would go so far as to admit the event was interesting, but not something he’d really want to do again.

“Jack, it's time to meet up with Ben.”

Groaning inwardly, Jack followed as Tom made his way toward tables set up behind a barrier by a stage. He hadn’t yet met the man but Tom had rather liked him, he’d offered the services of his kids as local guides if they wanted to explore. Jack was adamant that the man had at least one daughter who was close to their age, but Tom didn’t care in the slightest. At 23 the lad was smooth in ways Jack could never hope to be, attracting women just by breathing. Jack had fans, he knew, but in reality he tended to repel women with his grumpy demeanour and bitter broken heart.

Approaching the table, Jack could only see his worst fears confirmed as Tom shook the hand of a friendly- looking older man.

“This is Jack, he’s starring in the movie too.”

The eyes of Ben’s wife lit up as she shook his hand.

“It’s so lovely to meet you both. These are my daughters, Mary, Jaina, Kate and Lydia. My oldest, Lizzie is obviously tied up somewhere.” she said with annoyance.

She had the right idea, he thought, noticing the discomfort on the faces of three of the girls. The one who was obviously the youngest winked at him when he looked over which just just made him feel weird.

He stood there awkwardly while Tom struck up a conversation with a stunning looking brunette, Jaina, he remembered. The mother looked at him like a cat about to eat a canary and ben Ben just seemed oblivious to the whole thing. Jack didn’t know what to say to any of them and he was filled with an overwhelming desire to escape.

“Ah, there’s Lizzie and she’s brought food!”

Jack turned, and groaned as the girl from earlier came up to the tables carrying an armload of what he assumed were the famous Pierogies.

“Sorry I got held up, some dipshit decided to eat a whole ghost pepper on a dare and I had to wait for the ambulance.”

“Language Lizzie!” the mother snapped, looking him apologetically.

“Gee, sorry mom, should I have said wanker, twat or moron instead?” she said sarcastically. “I’ve been dealing with assholes all day…” there was a pointed look at him and he flushed, “I guess I’ve started to run out of appropriate adjectives.”

Any moment and Jack knew he was going to look down and see himself naked, because this exact scenario somehow felt like his worst nightmare. He flushed darker as Lizzie held out a plate of food, scooting over so there was room for him to sit down. Tom was looking at him like he was mad and he felt a little dizzy, choosing to sit next to Ben. His move didn’t seem to bother Lizzie much as she discussed the day with everyone. She even tried to draw him into the conversation a few times, with resulted in a few grunts around mouthfuls of food.

He was affroded the opportunity to observe everyone, from Tom’s death stares to each of the girls. His opinions were set after a few minutes, the family seeming about as ridiculous as the event they were at, but harmless. Tom looked absolutely smitten with Jaina, which didn’t surprise him, the girl was gorgeous. The guilt that had receded reared up again when Lizzie arrived, making him antsy and irritable. She seemed like a nice enough girl, not his type but very pretty, and damn if she wasn’t outspoken and snarky, which he could admire. Especially as it seemed to serve mainly to irritate her mother.

“Elizabeth Erinne Bennet, take those glasses off at the table!”

Everyone winced at Chloe Bennet’s shrill admonishment, even Lizzie who slumped forward over her plate after removing her sunglasses. Jack had had enough. Pushing away from the table he nodded a goodbye, taking his rubbish over to the bin.

“Jack, what are you doing?” Tom hissed, coming up beside him.

“I’m goin back tae the hotel, I’m tired.”

“Come on man, you can’t leave yet, we just met them.” Jack followed Tom’s gaze to where Jaina sat talking softly to Lizzie.

“Nothin stoppin ye from stayin, I can make it back meself”

“Just give them a chance, they are lovely.”

“Jaina’s a stunner I’ll give ye tha.”

“She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” Tom sighed. “And she’s so sweet and…”

“Well stop wastin yer time talking tae me then.”

“Just stay a bit longer, Jack. Lizzie seems nice, freaky smart Jaina said. Plus she’s really pretty.” “No my type. What could I possibly have in common wi a girl from this backwater who swears too much and can’t even stand up to her own mother?”

True and false, Jack thought in a panic. She wasn’t his type, no, but she sure was a pretty thing and he actually liked the way she talked, she seemed real. But tell Tom any of that and he would have them married by breakfast. So he diverted, evaded, and scorned, proud of himself until he turned around and came face to face with Lizzie.

She’d heard every word he’d said.

God her eyes were beautiful.

A blush rose from his neck to his face as the woman in question stood there and deliberately looked him up and down, a sly smile on her face as she chuckled, turning away. He was batting 0 for 2 and while he’d been making his judgements, Lizzie had been making hers.

And he’d been judged wanting.

[sncwhisperednothings]

Potential Scene #2

"You know, you used to be so nice to me," Obito murmurs, a muted reverence bleeding into his voice. Melancholy flares in his eyes like a candlelight in the dark. “Of all the things I remember about you, your kindness is what I remember the most.”

I struggle to find the right words to say, if such words even exist in the first place. Most people remember me for different things: using the Hiraishin like no one's business, having a monster sealed in me, being the Yondaime's daughter, or, I don't know, killing fuck-knows-who of importance—just to name a few. 

Should I hit him? His face looks so punchable right now.

“I mean,” I say slowly, wondering if my next few words even matter. After a moment of contemplation, I decide they do. “Of course I was nice. We were friends, remember?”

Were. Obito twitches. “We were,” he agrees. 

“And it’s not like you need to be friends with someone to be nice to each other. You were nice to everyone back then,” I continue, not mentioning the elephant in the room known as the present. “I’m sure plenty of people were nice to you, too.”

Obito shrugs. “You were the nicest, though. Everyone else was too busy with their own lives, watching their own backs.”

“I didn’t have much of a life back then,” I point out. "I thought I was going to die.”

“You didn’t, though.”

The strong emphasis on ‘didn’t' makes me pause. 

I sometimes forget that unlike Kakashi, the last time Obito saw me then was on my momentary deathbed, organs failing and life fading. For all he knew, I was as good as dead. 

“I didn’t,” I echo back faintly.

“You never stopped caring, either. You always cared too much.” He lets out a soft snort, dark eyes flickering up to my face for just a moment before lowering to the dirt he tries to scuff off his shoes. “Maybe that’s why you cared about me when no one else did.” 

I hold back every single urge to slap the self-depreciation out of his stupid, fat head.

"That’s not true," I tell him. He looks up at me from beneath his lashes, imploring, daring—as if to take away my breath with a single longing glance. I look away, and then firmer: "You know that's not true. It wasn't just me. Your friends. My parents. People I probably never knew. They were all—"

"I know.” The way he grits his teeth says otherwise, fists clenched tight until his knuckles are white. "But it was different with them.”

“Even Kakashi?” 

Obito shakes his head. “You’d never understand."

"Understand what?"

He motions with his hand as if to illustrate the point further. "It wasn't exactly sunshine and rainbows between us. He wasn't always a good friend."

"Kakashi . . . went through a—" No words immediately come to mind to describe how much of an asshole he was before common sense uppercutted him. "—a phase. We both know that. He's better now, I swear."

A lopsided smile stretches across Obito's face, but it doesn't exactly reach his eyes. "Makes me wish I died before I learned to like him. Then I wouldn't have to deal with all this."

His words stop my heart cold. I frown. "You don't mean that."

"I do." There's cold steel in his voice, a sharp edge he hadn't had a minute ago. "I really, really do."

"Bullshit."

"How would you know?" Obito scoffs. "You were stuck in a box all that time. It wasn’t like you could see how we were outside that room."

This time, I actually do punch him in the arm. He barely flinches—that tanky bastard—even when I do it again.

"Sorry, that one was uncalled for," he coughs.

"You're a terrible person, you know that?"

He at least has the decency to look somewhat sheepish. "I do, yeah."

"Take it back." He looks at me, confused, so I clarify, "The thing about Kakashi. I know you don't mean that."

"No," he says. His jaw clenches. "And stop talking like you know everything about me. You might have at one point, but you don’t anymore."

I push back the pang of hurt in my chest. "Why not? Am I missing something here? Last I checked, you two were best friends!"

"And how many years ago was that? Ten? Twelve? More?" Obito furrows his brows and holds my gaze with something between disappointment and exasperation in his eyes. I always hated that look, a look that hasn’t changed in years, but I hate it even more now that it’s directed at me. "It's more than just what happened in the past. Besides, things are different now. We aren't kids anymore."

"Kakashi doesn't think that. As far as he knows, you're the friend he thought he killed because he wasn't good enough." I swallow back as much of my anger as possible. I shouldn't yell at him, but holding back is proving harder in practice. "He's been trying to repay you for everything. Your friendship. Your eye. Your sacrifice. Everything."

I know it’s unfair of me to say this after everything Obito has given up, but I can’t just not defend Kakashi. He’s done so much for me, for everyone, and even though he was never perfect to begin with, Kakashi doesn’t deserve this slander. The argument is weak on my tongue and deflates with every passing second, but I can't stop.

“I get it. Kakashi was an asshole. But you changed him. He tried so hard to be a better person because of you. For you.”

Obito doesn’t say anything for the longest time, but he doesn’t look away like before, either. I haven’t the slightest clue as to what he’s thinking. I try to read his eyes, but nothing. Eventually, it begins to unnerve me.

His silent stare pierces through me with such little regard, tearing down the bravado the longer the silence stretches. 'Are you done yet?' it says, loud and clear. I squirm under his scrutiny, immediately regretting my words. When he lifts his hand, I flinch on the spot, expecting retaliation for my earlier assault.

"Does doing something for someone else with just intentions automatically make that person just?" Obito instead asks, so quiet that I nearly miss it. "Is that how this game works now?"

I reel at his surprisingly tender tone, and when he puts his hand over mine, I find myself incapable of holding onto the red, hot anger from before. 

The frustration, the hurt, the guilt: They all fade away until the only thing that remains is the same helplessness that stared me down my entire life. This time, it takes the form of a living, breathing reminder of a past long gone.

Suddenly, I'm not confronting a painful ghost anymore. Now, all I see is an old friend.

His fingers tighten around mine. I don't pull away. Can't. 

At his urging look, I reply to the almost forgotten question, "I—I don't know."

Obito says in a quiet voice, "I used to do that to you, you know. Trying to give you everything, pretending to be a better person than I actually was. You never asked for it, but I wanted to be the one to make you happy. But . . ."

There’s always a ‘but.’

His words leave an unexpected, bittersweet sting in my chest. I snuff it out immediately, stomp on it with my foot, lock it someplace dark and throw out the key.

"No," I pull my hand away, slow enough to feel him continue to grasp for it right until it's out of reach. I ignore his miserable smile, his knowing gaze, the way he pulls his hand back and drops it to his side, lost, and the lingering warmth from his hand on my own. "It doesn't."

[tessavirtueandmoir]

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

Daniel aka one of the Finnish guys cause I didn’t want to get lost in the club (I also hate club so it was like a double whammy)

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Is outgoingly shy a thing? I used to be super shy and still am around guys, but im definitely more outgoing in everyday life than I used to be

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

MY BESTFRIEND WHO FREAKING FLEW TO ENGLAND THE DAY I CAME HOME AND I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO SEE HER YET.

4. Are you easy to get along with?

Depends on who you ask, I guess.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

More likely than not.

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Blond hair, blue eyes… the eye colour doesnt really matter tbh but that seems to be the trend. Not douchey.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

Uhh.. that’s wishful thinking.

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

Those dang Finnish boys #lifecrisis

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Yes.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Probs one of those Finnish boys

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

I sent an article to my mom about how Canada was gonna be colder than Antarctica and mars. lmao I love this freaking country.

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Freedom 90 - Pitch Perfect Cast

Saturday Night - Whigfield

New Year’s Day - TSwift

New Rules - Dua Lipa

Hopeless Romantic - Scott Middough

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

Yeah dude point me to a girl who doesn’t

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Lmao no not really

15. What good thing happened this summer?

I turned 20 and apparently had a life resolution. Ditch those crappy people y’all, they aint worth your time

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Debatable…

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

Don’t even remember who my first crush was so that’s probably a no.

19. Do you like bubble baths?

Yo. My kryptonite. My res only had showers for the 4 months I was there and I legit cried when I say my bathtub so.

20. Do you like your neighbors?

As long as I can’t hear them, I don’t really care

21. What are you bad habits?

Getting super snippy when I’m hungry. Um… constantly being on my phone? Idk what else. Being blunt?

22. Where would you like to travel?

I just want to go back to England at this point

23. Do you have trust issues?

hahahah AHAHAHAHAHHA bye

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

the fact I didnt wake up until like mid afternoon in the uk… now literally nothing

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

My stomach? Or maybe my arms

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Check my phone notifs

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Maybe a tad darker because im literally pale af but otherwise no

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

my best friends aka girls

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

No? One of my ex’s once told one of my friends to check on me though cause he was worried.. it was strange.

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Also, debatable. I’m loving my alone life right now.

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

If it wasn’t I would literally cry so. Every time I get it cut we make sure it goes into a pony because of dance and stuff.

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Anna Kendrick and is Tessa Virtue a celebrity? I think she is. Wow… that is quite the threesome honestly. Gotta have different life experiences I suppose.

33. Spell your name with your chin.

grasysdoihj

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

Dance and soccer. dance is a sport dont argue with me

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV I guess. But either option would be pretty lame.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

In my 20 years, yeah probably

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

Nothing, I usually check my phone or something

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Not an inconsiderate douchebag. And someone that lives in the same country as me.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

NEWLOOK, River Island, ASOS, RW and Co, Dynamite (sometimes the Bay)

40. What do you want to do after high school?

Be a lawyer.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Nah man.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

I’m fucking mad and u best walk away before I slit you in half. Or I’m tired. Or im not comfortable with the situation

43. Do you smile at strangers?

I barely even look up so no

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Bottom of the ocean

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

That maybe it’ll be cold enough for me to take a bath at some point… I have a lame Canadian life. And I also don’t wanna be a university drop out so there’s also that.

46. What are you paranoid about?

People following me… like not on social media. Just like in general

47. Have you ever been high?

Nope

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Potentially? Idk man, probably not

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Oh yeah. But I told my friends about it so does that really count?

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Navy

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Everyone wishes they were T Virtue so.

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

I wish I could make myself want to go to the gym an exercise. But yet, here I am

53. Favourite makeup brand?

Anastasia Beverley Hills/Tarte/Fenty Beauty

54. Favourite store?

Did I not already answer this?

55. Favourite blog?

Mine. Shameless self promo

https://graysonwadsworth2.wixsite.com/hayitsgray

56. Favourite colour?

Grey/Teal/Burgundy

57. Favourite food?

G A R L I C B R E A D

58. Last thing you ate?

I’m about to eat a huge ass bowl of oatmeal

59. First thing you ate this morning?

This huge ass bowl of oatmeal. It’s 9:25 PM in case y’all were wondering.

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Many. For dance.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

No, I’m an angel. Just kidding.

62. Been arrested? For what?

Nope.

63. Ever been in love?

Yep.

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

Happened on a cruise ship in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea and I stupidly decided to play a game where we were trying to get our faces as close as possible without kissing… I was dumb okay lmao.

65. Are you hungry right now?

Mildly.

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

I talk to my Tumblr friends more than my real friends

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Why is instagram not a choice. Tumblr I guess.

69. Are you watching tv right now?

I’m watching the movie what not to expect when you’re expecting

70. Names of your bestfriends?

Harneet, Keira, Emmy, Katerina, Andy, Meghan x 2, Madi, Sydney, Emily, Lauren, Cassidy… wow… that’s so many

71. Craving something? What?

Not to be sick.

72. What colour are your towels?

My personal towels are teal. But we have brown, black. and grey ones in the bathroom too.

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

there’s 6 on my bed right now

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

does one laying at the foot of the bed count cause otherwise no

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

I legitimately cleaned out my entire closet this week and found my ENTIRE collection of webkinz so if we’re gonna count those probs like 300 lmao

75. Favourite animal?

Elephant

76. What colour is your underwear?

Pink

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Vanilla

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Cookie Dough OR French crisp from Laura Secord

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Grey

80. What colour pants?

Grey, white and pink

81. Favourite tv show?

GREYS ANATOMY

82. Favourite movie?

Moulin Rouge or Angels and Demons

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Mean girls who are you

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Jump Street

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

Janice

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

Dory or Crush

87. First person you talked to today?

I honestly have no idea, probably meg though… or I definitely snapchatted people

88. Last person you talked to today?

Meg

89. Name a person you hate?

Well, that would be mean.

90. Name a person you love?

My British bestie, honestly, I don’t know why I love her so much. It’s strange. My cat is the next backup.

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

No? Violence is never the answer. Passive aggressiveness is

92. In a fight with someone?

Not that I know of

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

All of my sweats are basically roots, and I honestly have too many

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

TOO MANY

95. Last movie you watched?

Pitch Perfect 2

96. Favourite actress?

Anna Kendrick OR Reese Witherspoon

97. Favourite actor?

I am currently blanking on male actors at the moment. Let’s just go with Ryan Reynolds cause he’s funny af and married to Blake so

98. Do you tan a lot?

I burn a lot.

99. Have any pets?

A really bitchy cat

100. How are you feeling?

Sick #iloveairplanes

101. Do you type fast?

Yes, unnaturally fast. I can also type without looking at the keys which weirds a lot of people out.

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Doesn’t everyone? It wasn’t stuff that I did myself though

103. Can you spell well?

Usually yes, lately no. I need to go back to school obviously

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

My grandma

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Yep

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Accidentally on purpose yes

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Yes, and I got bucked off and now refuse to ride another horse

108. What should you be doing?

Writing an essay that’s due on Friday

109. Is something irritating you right now?

The fact that I can’t fall asleep, but that’s the norm so

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Only when they broke my heartttttt

111. Do you have trust issues?

I swear to god I’ve already answered this one

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

My best british friend. She legit left me crying in the middle of the club

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Gray gray. Or Gray goose.

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yes

115. Do you play the Wii?

I used to. My console is in my closet now though

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Yes, always.

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

MA FAVE. It’s the only soup I eat.

118. Do you like Chinese food?

YES. MY OTHER FAVE.

119. Favourite book?

13 Reasons Why, or Atonement. Soon to be: Scrappy Little Nobody

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

No.

121. Are you mean?

I am blunt. Sometimes those two can get confused

122. Is cheating ever okay?

No, y’all are scum bye

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Uh… if my white shoes get dirty I clean them so they’re white again

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

No, but I believe in crushes at first sight #themodel

125. Do you believe in true love?

I mean.. maybe.

126. Are you currently bored?

Yes, hence why I’m answering all these questions

127. What makes you happy?

My friends

128. Would you change your name?

I currently am, but not my first name.

129. What your zodiac sign?

Cancer the crabbbbbb

130. Do you like subway?

Uh…. sometimes. But it’s not my go to

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Yikes, this has legit happened to me and I had to dip so fast im not even lying

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Definitely one of those Finnish boys

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

Take back your picture in a frame

OR

sometimes the clothes do not make the man

134. Can you count to one million?

Who would ever try that? It would take forever.

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

When I told all my profs I couldn’t write my midterm cause I had a concussion and I went to the Dominican instead #rebel

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Closed

137. How tall are you?

5′ 3″

138. Curly or Straight hair?

Straight hair that is curled

139. Brunette or Blonde?

Blonde

140. Summer or Winter?

Neither, I hate both. But if I had to choose, summer

141. Night or Day?

Night

142. Favourite month?

May

143. Are you a vegetarian?

No, I’d literally die because I hate vegetables

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

milk

145. Tea or Coffee?

T E A

146. Was today a good day?

Tbh I laid in bed all day so that’s pretty ideal

147. Mars or Snickers?

Mars

148. What’s your favourite quote?

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind - Dr. Suess (how philosophical wow)

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Nope

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

The young team were still getting most of their ice time in Ilderton and were preparing for the Western Ontario sectionals in the juvenile category, but in late autumn of 1998, just a week before sectionals, Scott broke his right arm playing flag football. That is the longest sentence ever wow.

[greatlakereviewoz]

The Zoo

Written by Evelyn Sokolowski, our Fiction Head Editor Fall 2016-Spring 2019

***

I hate the zoo. It is my absolute least favorite place in the world––other than Hell. As much of a good, born and raised Christian man I am, I rather live my afterlife unfairly in the burning pits of Hell than to step foot into a zoo ever again.

My grandchildren, along with my own flesh and blood children, don't understand why. The animals are cute. The family has a great time there. It is a guaranteed clean and safe, family-friendly place with great corn dogs. Overall, compared to many other places to be nowadays, it is the best.

Why do I hate it so much?

Why do my guts twist and bend when I hear those syllables uttered? Why do I scowl in response as if I just sucked on a lemon? Why do I want to smack the back of my children's heads whenever I hear my grandchildren whine about me not wanting to take them?

It all dates back to 2040. I was still a decently young parent at the ripe age of forty-two with three children, two in their early teenage years and one who had yet to reach double digits.

We decided on a sunny, yet slightly cloudy day to go to the zoo. A week prior was my forty-second birthday, so going to the zoo was meant to be like my unofficial birthday gift. In actuality, the youngest was in the midst of a penguin obsession, so going there was more so for her than anything else.

Anyways, there we were: the zoo.

We saw the monkeys swinging on their vines and scratching their asses, elephants splashing water on themselves as a bath, and lions jumping through hoops for a snack. Without failure, we saw the black and white, flightless birds waddle around their miniature North Pole and slide on their bellies into the freezing water.

To say my daughter was ecstatic is a ginormous understatement.

But we did not end our zoo visit there. We made sure to visit all the animals my wife and I wasted forty bucks per person (that would be two-hundred dollars in total) to see.

Our last stop was the reptile exhibit. None of the kids cared much for those critters, other than the alligators that my son thought were "bad-ass." Honestly speaking, I had a soft spot for tortoises since I had two of them growing up as a child, so I would say out of all the exhibits, I was quite thrilled to visit the reptile one.

However, it was that very exhibit that ruined the zoo––no, animals––no, humanity for me for the rest of my life.

Unlike all the other exhibits, there was a swarm of people with signs gathered around its entrance. I couldn't tell you for the life of me now what they said, but I knew they were along the lines of the world ending and us saving animals and how cruel the government was. The crowd, though, was surprisingly silent––blankly watching us as we walked into the exhibit.

One thing I do recall is a little girl who was at least five years old and had the brightest, blondest hair I had ever laid eyes on. She was the closest to the entrance, and with her tiny, pudgy hand, clutched onto just barely the tip of the hem of my flannel shirt.

My eyebrows furrowing in confusion, I paused in step and looked down at her. "Yes?" I asked hesitantly, glancing at the crowd of protestors to make sure none of them were about to pounce on me. It is common practice for men like me to be extremely cautious when talking to children who aren’t your own in this day and age.

"If yew go in 'der, yer gunna re-re... not gunna like what yew see," she murmured before letting go of my shirt.

Before I could utter a response, I remember my eldest daughter grabbing my hand and yanking me into the exhibit. She must've muttered some kind of sarcastic response as to why I was taking forever, but the little girl's words echoed in my ears. As I assumed the girl was attempting to pronounce "regret," I wondered what I was going to regret seeing. What was I not going to like seeing? What was about to happen?

My stomach churned as I trailed behind my family through the exhibit. Everything appeared normal. There were no brand new signs that I could spot––only the ones explaining what specific reptiles were behind each glass case.

My son pointed out the second crowd of people huddling around the largest case in the whole exhibit. However, compared to the crowd outside, these people did not seem like they were protesting. No signs, no blank stares, no creepy child telling prophecies. There was a murmur spreading through the crowd, but I couldn't make out any of their words.

I don't remember how my family ended up at the front of the crowd. I think there may have been security guards or workers at the front cycling out people, so everyone had a glance. Someone told us we had ten minutes to stand there. Regardless, we ended up front and center of the glass––of the tortoises––of what I thought were tortoises.

They looked like normal tortoises. There were three adult ones and two smaller "baby" ones. They were all lying on the grass, except for one adult who was taking a dip in the water in front of us. What felt like five minutes passed until one of the adult tortoises lifted itself and started walking.

My eyes were glued to the adult tortoise. For some reason, it was almost mesmerizing watching it move. Although it was not walking fast, as it was a tortoise, its movements somehow appeared fluid and just slightly faster than the average tortoise. I assumed it must have been younger than its appearance since I was not a turtle expert––but then it happened.

"What's the fuss about?" my wife whispered in my ear right as the tortoise's foot froze mid-air. It began twitching forward and back as if it was glitching.

I hoped my eyes were deceiving me when I saw light gray puffs of smoke rise to the air. Unfortunately, they were not deceived. Barely a second past when two workers with toolboxes appeared out of the blue and rushed to the tortoise who was still glitching.

I flinched when a voice boomed over the speakers, "Ladies and gents, we apologize for the technical issues you are currently witnessing. As we are perfecting our animal models," I learned to hate those two words, "there are still technical issues that arise every now and then. If you would like to record this moment..."

I forgot who I asked what "animal models" were but I remember someone telling me that, since most, if not all, animals on Earth were going extinct, this zoo was the first of its kind where it was replacing all its real, breathing animals with animatronics. I never knew about this global issue to begin with, because my family did not own television as I did once back in the day, so news channels were no longer a thing neither me nor my family watched.

My eyes wanted to unsee the panel being lifted from the tortoises' side. It released a large puff of gray smoke, but once the smoke died down, I saw the cogs and gears attempting to rotate inside the tortoise.

Although my heart shattered at the realization that the tortoises, along with all the other animals of the world, were no longer real, what made me sick to my stomach was information I found out sometime after my zoo visit. When I was told that real animals were being replaced by animal models, I did not know that the method of replacement was the mass slaughter of the remaining animals. No one ever explained why, and I could not find a reason on the Internet (most likely due to the increased level of control the government has taken over what us civilians may access online).

For whatever reason, my children accepted this ungodly change in dynamics. They accepted the fact that God was no longer in control of creation––that all of His power was now put into the hands of us mortals who were not even serving his intended purpose of other creations roaming the Earth with us.

Forget my upbringing!

My children blindly accepted the slaughter of millions of innocent creatures––and all for the sake of what? Those "animal models" continue to remain behind the glass as the real animals did. We are not allowed to interact with them beyond the walls of government-sponsored zoos. Animal models don't even provide meat for us as meat is now as extinct as the animals they once came from.

So these are the reasons why I hate the zoo––why I lost faith in both humanity and God.

[mega-aggron]

ask meme 1-150

¯\_(ツ)_/¯gdi winston

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

erica, my friend across the hall

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

super shy ;-;

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

idk! i’ve gotten a surprising amount of diversity in friend and family interactions the last week or so. pretty content right now.

4. Are you easy to get along with?

i think so? i hope so.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

i’d hope so?

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

funny people. broad guys. guys with beards.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ who knows. 

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

lorde lmao

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

not really, i just usually can’t provide much input on the subject

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

uH probably my mom

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“Going good, spent the weekend at home for Father’s Day. How’re you doing?”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

shit fuck why is this always a question (at least they give me a top five instead of making me choose one :p) more recent faves:

perfect places [lorde]

pool [paramore]

bandages [hey rosetta!]

cut to the feeling [carly rae jepsen]

youth (day) [oohyo]

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

i don’t mind.

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

i mean jesus did some cool shit but i don’t really think much about miracles in a modern context

15. What good thing happened this summer?

got a job doing fun web dev work :D

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

i can’t remember the last person i kissed

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

yeah! probs not our solar system (or even close) but it is likely!!! man read up on the fermi paradox or the drake equation and get back to me, i think this shit is so interesting

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

first “crush” (thought i was straight lol): nofirst real crush: yep! not super frequently but we just got ice cream with some friends recently

19. Do you like bubble baths?

haven’t had one in like 13 years but i don’t see why not

20. Do you like your neighbors?

yes! they’re my closest friends

21. What are you bad habits?

procrastination (but i usually pull through in the end)

22. Where would you like to travel?

so many places my dude. dubai seattle and back to san francisco are probs current top 3

23. Do you have trust issues?

i don’t think so. at the very least, not usually

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

don’t really have one

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

my weight :/ i hate looking like a twig but have stayed this weight for like 4 years. also i don’t embody the physical traits i find attractive in other people so i just kinda think of myself as an unattractive person

26. What do you do when you wake up?

wait for my second alarm to go off and roll back under the covers

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

i’m pale as fuck and sunburn, i wish i could tan at the very least

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

my friends? hashbrowns, friends across the hall, roommates, sleepovers with nitesh, dnd squad, all good options

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

nah lol i had a boyfriend for like a month it really wasn’t meant to be

30. Do you ever want to get married?

yeah! someday™

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

no, but the top is getting longer than usual even though i just had a haircut oops

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

yowza hello what

33. Spell your name with your chin.

wwereecvdb

(well that could have gone better)

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

volleyball during the school year. i just got a summer gym membership so who knows maybe i’ll swim or run more

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

tv hands down. i already don’t watch it a whole lot but wowza i love music

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

yes

it sucks

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

i don’t really think many silences are awkward? if anything i guess i try to think up a new topic to talk about but most of the time i’m fine staying quiet

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

isn’t this like #6

idk someone who likes laughing and is a nice person. video games, beards, and being bigger than me are also plusses

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

uniqlo is a fun store

40. What do you want to do after high school?

LOL

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

usually. i mean it depends on context (like, if you cheat on someone, you probably don’t deserve a second shot at that in my book) but most of the time i think forgiveness is on the table for a first offense. but if behaviors repeat for a long time, i’m less inclined to offer it.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

i’m probably thinking about something, zoning out, or disagree with whatever was just said and am not trying to start something

43. Do you smile at strangers?

sometimes!

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

spaaaaaaaaaaaace

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

the fear of disappointing others realizing i’ve spent as much time as possible in bed without making myself late

46. What are you paranoid about?

not much?

47. Have you ever been high?

no

48. Have you ever been drunk?

yes

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

i don’t think so?

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

red

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

i literally wish i was sara bareilles but other than that no

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

just like… my body structure as a wholeor maybe just the ability to grow a better beard, i am not about this 90% neckbeard life

53. Favourite makeup brand?

don’t wear any

54. Favourite store?

nintendo world store

55. Favourite blog?

mine #getrekt

nah idk

56. Favourite colour?

turquoise / teal

57. Favourite food?

hhhhh cheese tortellini w/ pesto

58. Last thing you ate?

orange chicken, sweetfire chicken, and chow mein from panda express

59. First thing you ate this morning?

a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

i won a beauty pageant freshman year with my talent being rapping busta rhymes’ verse from look at me now and a choreography to super bass

i won a battle of the bands with the hip hop orchestra to be an opening act for t-pain and lil dicky when they performed here too

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

no

62. Been arrested? For what?

no

63. Ever been in love?

not in the reciprocated romantic way yet

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

i was lying on his bed watching a movie when he turned over to face me. we looked each other in the eye for a while before closing them and going for it.

65. Are you hungry right now?

li’l bit, but i’m not even halfway through these questions so i’m trying not to think about it

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

it’s a venn diagram, some of my closest irl friends are my tumblr friends and vice versa

67. Facebook or Twitter?

fb

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

nope

70. Names of your bestfriends?

i mean this list would be like 20 names long because i don’t really use the title “best friend” but nitesh winston jared and siddy are all pretty high up there

71. Craving something? What?

nothing atm

72. What colour are your towels?

teal

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

1 to 3. usually have 3 on my bed.

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

nope

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

on campus i have my eeveelution plushies, a totoro plush and a kicks plush. at home i probably still have some webkinz, a build-a-bear dog, a giant togepi, and a treecko.

75. Favourite animal?

oh geez idk i just…. love all of them

i really love australian blue cattle dogs, elephants, parrots, chinchillas, and otters

76. What colour is your underwear?

uh it varies but today they’re white

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

vanilla ice cream, chocolate pretty much everything else

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

vanilla, mint chocolate chip, or cotton candy

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

blue

80. What colour pants?

teal

(i’m in pajamas it’s ok that these colors clash)

81. Favourite tv show?

geez i’m really out of touch with tv

parks and rec was good? fma brotherhood? good

82. Favourite movie?

begin again

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

is this even a question? original

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

only have seen 22 jump street but i think i’d prefer mean girls

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

why is this person so obsessed with mean girls

idk i like cady?

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

dory probably. or squirt

87. First person you talked to today?

brent

88. Last person you talked to today?

satvik

89. Name a person you hate?

orange president

90. Name a person you love?

@caqtuscomics

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

see #89

92. In a fight with someone?

no

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

2? maybe 3?

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

2

95. Last movie you watched?

legit could not tell you lol

as a substitute, last musical i watched was sound of music last night at the kennedy center

96. Favourite actress?

…sara bareilles

97. Favourite actor?

mark ruffalo is pretty cool

98. Do you tan a lot?

NO I BURN

99. Have any pets?

yeah! parents have a dog named zoe and i love her

100. How are you feeling?

pretty ok! fluctuated the past couple days but i’m ok now

101. Do you type fast?

yes (perks of being in cs)

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

not a whole lot tbh. nothing that was so bad i’d want to go back and redo. i think.

103. Can you spell well?

yeah

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

some high school friends, i guess. but it’s been long enough that i’m kind of over it, the ones that i miss most still make efforts to keep in touch so it’s fine

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

just once, i think

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

not as far as i know

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

yep! family friend rides horses and let us on hers over the years.

108. What should you be doing?

nothing! finally. (realistically, getting back into journaling. that fell by the wayside this semester and i’d love to get back into that.)

109. Is something irritating you right now?

not really. since the semester ended things have been pretty calm

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

.-.

111. Do you have trust issues?

deja vu

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

i don’t cry in front of others often. not afraid to or anything, just doesn’t happen a lot. possibly satvik back in like september

113. What was your childhood nickname?

got called punkin’ by my mom (short for chunkin’ punkin’ because i was a fat baby) but didn’t really have nicknames from my friends

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yep! fairly regularly

115. Do you play the Wii?

geez when was this survey made

play on my switch now. n64 and wii u occasionally :p

116. Are you listening to music right now?

nope

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

it’s ok!

118. Do you like Chinese food?

ye

119. Favourite book?

the kite runner by khaled hosseini

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

not really, though i still do weird things sometimes because of the dark (double takes, turn lights on/off)

121. Are you mean?

i hope not! i really don’t think so

122. Is cheating ever okay?

no

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

haven’t tried :p don’t get white shoes often

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

sigh i wish but i think it’s more lust than anything most of the time

125. Do you believe in true love?

not like “there is 1 person in this world destined for me” but i like the concept of making one’s relationship as strong as it can be

126. Are you currently bored?

well, i have answered 125 questions so far without looking for something more entertaining to do

127. What makes you happy?

pokemon, music, the mcelboys, humor, overwatch…

128. Would you change your name?

last name for marriage sure why not

first name i’m cool with not changing

129. What your zodiac sign?

leo

130. Do you like subway?

ye

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

inform them that i am unfortunately super duper gay

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

again, deja vu

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

hm!!!! geez there are so many good lyrics from after laughter and melodrama

“I’m underwaterWith no air in my lungsMy eyes are openI’m done giving up” - pool, paramore

“All the nights spent off our facesTrying to find these perfect placesWhat the fuck are perfect places anyway?“ - perfect places, lorde

134. Can you count to one million?

i mean, i know the order of the numbers but god forbid i try this anytime soon

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

geez idk once when i was 7 i told my grandma i couldn’t find my watch while i was staring right at it so when i wasn’t looking she took it from me and swatted my hand for fibbing

as far as i know, no lies i’ve told have had big consequences; i don’t lie that often other than what time i’ve gone to bed to my parents back in highschool

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed

137. How tall are you?

6′3

138. Curly or Straight hair?

i love wavy hair

139. Brunette or Blonde?

brunette

140. Summer or Winter?

summer

141. Night or Day?

night

142. Favourite month?

geez idk most of them are pretty good. may is nice, august is my birthmonth.

143. Are you a vegetarian?

nope

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

dark = milk > white

145. Tea or Coffee?

don’t really drink either, but leaning towards tea (esp. chai)

146. Was today a good day?

yeah it was alright :)

147. Mars or Snickers?

uh never had a mars but i’m not too big a fan of snickers so i’ll risk it

148. What’s your favourite quote?

life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

nah

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“The Great Tree stands in the center of a vast forest, and a variety of living things come here to ask for its blessing.” (Hyrule Historia)