#those who could touch him without permission were friends and trusted people | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cienie-isengardu · 5 years ago

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Hello! I noticed one sad thing - it seems that Anakin wasn't even a hug after his departure from Tatooine? The guy clearly had a strong tactile hunger. I remember Obi-Wan hugging and being hugged, but I don't remember that with Anakin. And becoming Darth Vader... he definitely was touch-starved as hell. All this is unfair... and awful... I really hope that I am wrong and just inattentively read books!

Hi!

Anakin’s approach to touch is kinda complicated thing. On one hand, Shmi and the closest childhood friends were a source of comfort to the boy thus their touch (hugging, holding hands) was welcomed gesture and returned by Anakin. With them, being touched without permission was acceptable, because Skywalker knew they mean no harm to him, that it was a sign of love, friendship, worrying for and a way to reassurance each other in difficult times.

On another hand, Anakin grew up in abusive environment and there is enough sources to give general idea how his life looked then. Including the physical abuse coming from slave masters, like was mentioned in AotC novelization:

[Anakin] wasn’t sure how he would feel about seeing the slaver, even if Watto had nothing to do with bringing any harm to Shmi. Watto had treated him better than most in Mos Espa treated their slaves, and hadn’t beaten him too often […]

Anakin seems to be very open kid in TPM even to strangers, but we must remember that he actually had a chance to observe them in junk shop and talk to Padme (kind, beautiful yet very lost girl) and Jar Jar (clumsy but not dangerous alien) before he decided to be involved with those people for good. The fact that Jinn was Jedi, what Anakin noticed quickly, probably helped a lot too to be open and accepting - and even initiate - touch around them

Similar like Anakin & Padme’s romance on Naboo, TPM gives us a sense of actually real connection between him and other people - especially Jinn and Padme. They may know each other for a short time, but their relationship was grounded in mutual respect and friendship. Jinn’s touch was consolation for Anakin in uncertain time of his life and main support after leaving Shmi behind.

Growing up in Jedi Order for sure wasn’t the easiest process for Anakin, but as much as Jedi Council (Yoda) made him feel unwelcome, unwanted and different, Jedi Code was strongly against attachment to people and things but did not forbid any physical contact between padawans and Jedi alike. Yet it is easy to see difference between TPM!Anakin and his older version in AotC. Skywalker’s whole body language changed, became more closed off, guarded.He is less likely to physically interact with other people. Obi-Wan (as his long-time master now) and Padme (who he knew before and their familiarity has strengthened again) are understandable exceptions, because both were very important and trusted people in Anakin’s life.

There is no doubt the violence that Anakin experienced in slavery affected him deeply (x). The real question is how much childhood trauma AND the feeling of being different while growing up between Jedi affected Skywalker’s physical isolation and how much he himself cut off from other people:

“Anakin had always been something of an enigma to Jax and the other Padawans. He was nearly the same age as Jax, and they had studied and dueled together often. While it was true that no one could really get close to Anakin - he had always maintained an aloofness, a reserve, that none could penetrate- still, Jax had counted himself as one of the troubled young Jedi’s few confidants.” [Coruscant Night: Jedi Twilight by Michael Reaves]

We may only wonder how much Anakin changed “naturally” and how much it is effect of his loneliness, pressure and difference he felt for years. I personally don’t think Anakin per se needed hugs to feel better. Rather he needed a true friend(s), someone to bond with, someone loyal and accepting. And yes, Obi-Wan is definitely a person that Anakin trusted and respected and whose touch was accepted by him, but his master tried as much as possible to not “touch” Skywalker’s past (and trauma) and the desire “to make Skywalker the best Jedi” often didn’t allow him to act in more affectional way toward his student. To act in a way struggling Anakin needed.

That said, Anakin was always a kind person, willing to show support (physical gestures) when it was possible. He did that for Ahsoka and clone troopers through the war. But it is easy to see how much more guarded he act in AotC and beyond than he did as a kid. That he was less willing to be the one initiating touch, unless he knew well said person (Padme). Frankly, I’m not even sure if he ever hugged Ahsoka, beside the critical moments after some drastic experiences (her dying in Mortis arc, maybe?). Either there were some rules for physical touching between master and padawan or Anakin simply tried to respect Ahsoka’s personal space and allowed himself to touch her (hand on arm usually, if I remember right) when he felt she needed more palpable support.

There was a time when I suspected Anakin may suffer from no physical contact, but now, looking at Anakin from AotC through the whole war, he doesn’t exactly look to me as “touch starved” person. Especially not in the sense of being desperate to have physical contact with others. He just became more private, secretive man, an introvert that always kept in mind showing emotions (attchament) wasn’t wise thing to do around other Jedi. And really, some people (due to trauma or just that type of nature) simply do not like or need that much physical contact with others.

I guess, as introvert myself, I don’t think Anakin wanted that much physical contact, more like needed to hear some recognition from fellow Jedi. Simple you are good enough coming from Council would probably made him feel better than any hug from Yoda or Windu or any Jedi could do.

As for Vader the situation become more complex and much simplier at the same time. To allow someone touch him was unacceptable. Living outside armor was impossible thing at that time - the armor keep him alive and without it, he would die. Without it, the flesh and scars were unprotected, easy to hurt, and as a Sith Lord he can’t allow himself for such weakness. Beside, as much as Anakin missed Padme (and her touch), what was the point of wishing for any physical contact, if Padme was dead? He loved her and only her, any other person - beside few trusted medics & droids - would never be allowed to touch him ever again.

(Though even as Vader, Anakin was willing to show some support to his troopers and close associates with physical gestures. He wasn’t affraid or beyond attachment to touch people, he just didn’t need any kind gestures from others for himself)

#star wars #anakin skywalker #darth vader #funny how my reading of anakin changed #there was time when i think the lack of physical contact could affect him #but i don't see him touch starved anymore #what he truly needed was #recognition and validation #while touching was a sign of trust #those who could touch him without permission were friends and trusted people #obi padme even palpatine #maybe ahsoka once he get used to her #and 501st though he was the one usually patting troopers #but that makes sense he is the general they are just troopers it wouldn't feel ok to invade his personal space #but the fact he kept reserve toward other padawans and jedi #just proves he didn't feel good in jedi temple #vader just didn't care for such human things like touch #padme was dead so he focused at things that keep him busy #like force and empire #my replies

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jtargaryen18 · 3 years ago

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His Inheritance ~ Chapter 8

Part 8: Reckoning

Series Masterlist

Words: 3.2k

Pairing: Mobster Steve Rogers x Mobster daughter reader

Warnings: References to mafia families. References to arranged marriage. References infidelity, miscarriage, possible domestic violence. References to crime family violence. Coercion. Spanking. Acohol consumption. This is a dark fic. Please read responsibly.

Disclaimer: The author of this work claims no ownership of characters aside from the reader, and original secondary characters mentioned. This work is not intended for those under the age of 18 due to explicit sexual content and darker themes. By reading this work or any works on my blog (jtargaryen18), you agree that you are at least 18 years of age. I do not consent to have my work hosted on any third party app or site. If you are seeing this fanfiction anywhere but archiveofourown and tumblr, it has been reposted without my permission.

Summary: For @alexakeyloveloki. Your father is the head of one of the most powerful crime families in Boston but he’s protected you from that life. In your quiet home outside the city, you’ve been cared for and protected. When the desires of a more powerful man with the will to dominate bursts into your life, all your illusions are shattered as he comes to claim what is his.

~~~

“Your temperature is slightly elevated but everything else seems okay,” the ER nurse told you. “If the fever returns or you experience other symptoms with it, please get in touch with your personal physician if it’s a non-emergency. Otherwise, come back here.”

Nerves were getting the better of you now. The niacin Nat gave you managed to mimic a short-lived fever. It made you feel strange enough to be convincing to the ER staff that took care of you. They ran several tests, found nothing. The clipboard holding your paperwork was clutched tightly in your shaking hand, half-completed and barely legible.

“Where’s your friend?” the nurse’s voice cut into your thoughts.

She’d walked you back into the waiting room that was literally filled with people, some injured, others visibly ill. Not only did you feel guilty because there wasn’t a damn thing wrong with you, but you didn’t see Nat anywhere.

“She’ll be back for me,” you said to her, finding a seat near the door, hoping it was true even as you said it.

Hopefully, she was getting to visit Clint. How she planned to get around Steve’s men who were there to watch over him, you didn’t know.

All you knew is that you were alone in the ER with no car. No way out.

If what Steve told you was true, you could be in very real danger. Someone shot Clint. Was it ordered by Bucky Barnes? An old enemy of your father’s? What if they figured out you were there at the hospital? All alone?

You checked your phone every few seconds, hoping for a message from Nat. Praying you wouldn’t see one from Dyson. Or Steve. Your heart raced and your anxiety was through the roof. The window was cold behind you, blasts of winter air hit you each time someone came in or out of the automated glass doors.

You needed to get back. Dyson had barely had time to react when Nat had rushed you out the door, into her SUV. The poor man looked on the verge of apoplexy as he stared out the open doorway of Steve’s house, watching you drive away with Nat.

You wanted to earn a trusted friend in Nat. But what had you gotten yourself into?

Mere moments passed and you couldn’t take it anymore. You started typing a quick text to Nat. You hated infringing on any time she had with Clint but…

You shivered in the chill from the door opening by your side.

You jumped in your seat when a heavy hand dropped onto your shoulder. The scent of sandalwood caused your fear to spike. Your phone tumbled from your hand.

Steve scooped it up with a speed that startled you, his sharp gaze meeting yours as he handed it to you. There was a dusting of snow on his hair, on the shoulders of his heavy black coat.

Oh, you were caught.

You didn’t recognize the men who walked in behind him, both dressed in suits and overcoats as he was. The taller one had dark eyes and slick black hair. His face was stern as Steve plucked the clipboard from your lap and handed it off to him. That man made his way towards the desk.

The other man was shorter with warm brown hair, warmer blue eyes. His gaze was sympathetic on you.

Kneeling in front of you, Steve took your hands in his. It wasn’t until then you realized just how bad you were trembling. Your heart beat so fast and so hard your chest hurt.

“How are you feeling?” Steve asked you, his tone soft.

“I’m fine,” you managed. “I had a slight fever and Nat was nervous. She insisted…” It was the best you could remember on what she told you to say.

Steve’s smirk was knowing. “I’m sure she did.”

Still, he insisted on talking to the nurse who attended you, the older woman charmed by his polished appearance, his obvious concern for you.

Like it was real…

Signaling to his men, they approached the two of you. Steve grabbed your coat from the seat next to where you were sitting and held it for you to slip on.

“Take her to my car,” he told them. “Don’t leave her under any circumstance. Got it?”

To you, he said. “I’ll just be a few minutes. Then I’m taking you home.”

The stern-faced man nodded and headed for the door. The friendly one motioned for you to follow him.

You glanced back over your shoulder to see Steve walking away, heading into the hospital.

He was looking for Nat you knew.

You felt worse about the day’s events, the decision you made, as the minutes ticked by.

***

Nat never saw him coming up behind her. She was heading up the hall, back towards the ER where she thought his girl was waiting. His sister was sniffling, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue as she walked.

Steve was livid.

Grabbing her by the elbow, he roughly maneuvered her into an empty patient room and slammed the door behind him. The way his sister’s green eyes widened in fear gave him a small measure of satisfaction.

Nat turned to face him, hands up defensively.

“Steve, look—”

“Are you happy now?” He got in her face. “Clint isn’t out of the woods. He’s not even awake yet. And you pull this?”

Her jaw locked even as tears slid down her face. It was a mannerism she inherited from their father and like him, it only came out when she was pissed.

“That’s right, Steve,” she shot back. “He could die. And you honestly thought I wouldn’t move heaven and earth to see him again? Even if he never knows I was here?”

Scrubbing a hand down his face, Steve blew out a frustrated exhale.

“This is exactly why it was safer for you to marry Bruce,” he reminded her. “Your husband shouldn’t be in the line of fire. You’re safer this way.”

“And miserable.”

Steve couldn’t do this again. His sister was ruled by her heart not her head. That was how people got themselves killed. She’d been married to Bruce for over three years. When was she going to let it go? She could try telling him that she loved Clint so much…

In all honesty, he was mostly convinced she did this to punish him for not getting what she wanted.

“You are only miserable because you’ve decided to be,” Steve told her for the hundredth time. “Bruce provided you with a beautiful home, everything you could ever want…”

Angry color flooded her face as she stared him down. “And he loves me so much he keeps a Russian whore on the side and stays out late with her almost every night. I’m alone, Steve.”

“You wouldn’t be if you…”

“Don’t say it,” she warned him, swiping angrily at tears. “Don’t you fucking dare say that to me. Not after what he did.”

Steve stopped there. Angry as he was, he wasn’t that cruel.

In the early days of their marriage, from what Steve could tell, Bruce had really tried. He’d had a crush on Nat since high school. Unfortunately for him, Natasha had dated Clint through most of high school. Their father had watched in disapproval. And even though Clint’s father was one of the family’s best lieutenants, even though Clint made himself a good and loyal soldier, he was not who their father had in mind for his daughter.

Natasha and their father had epic arguments over it, but he wouldn’t be swayed. When the heart attack took him unexpectedly, Natasha blamed herself because they had a horrible fight the day before. It was the biggest reason Steve was able to convince his sister to break things off with Clint, to consider Bruce.

When Steve arranged their marriage, Bruce had been delighted. They’d gotten married and Bruce gave her everything she wanted. The mansion where they lived, the cars she preferred. She had enough clothes to fill two walk-in closets.

To help things along, Steve had sent Clint off to Europe for several months. The family had business there to handle – not terribly important �� and his absence, Steve thought, would give Nat a chance to see what a good guy her husband was. That they could be happy together.

Steve’s gut had told him the plan would ultimately fail. It had.

Clint came back and all it took was a chance meeting between him and Natasha.

Nat admitted to Bruce she still loved Clint, that she wanted to be with him.

The fight that resulted surprised Steve in its explosive nature, its violence. Bruce assured him that Nat had been startled and tumbled down the stairs, breaking her arm and her leg in the fall. Those injuries she recovered from.

The miscarriage? Steve didn’t think she’d ever recovered from that.

The marriage didn’t appear to be recovering either. They played the part well enough when they had to.

And since then, Steve wasn’t sure how, his sister found ways to see her former lover.

Nat assured him Bruce had breath-taking anger issues. Bruce assured Steve that he’d never lay a hand on his sister. The man had never seemed violent, never displayed such a temper in his dealings with him.

Was there something he didn’t know?

Steve had to try. He needed Bruce until his leadership was solidified and he was a damn good lawyer.

“A child might keep him at home, Nat,” Steve told her.

“Because I want that,” Nat shot back angrily. “Why don’t you worry about your own marriage, brother?”

Steve’s anger flared at that. “Speaking of my fiancée, what the fuck were you thinking? Using her to make your little charade happen?”

“Charade?” Nat challenged him. “Your fiancée spiked a fever while Dyson was with the stylists. What did you want me to do? Ignore it?”

“According to the nurse, her temperature never reached 100,” Steve told her. “They didn’t find a thing wrong with her, Nat.”

“Better to overreact than to ignore a warning sign,” she told him.

“Why were you at my house with the stylists anyway?” he wanted to know. “They’d already been to your house.”

“I forgot to talk to them about something I need for my dress.” Nat wasn’t backing off her story.

Steve didn’t want to waste more time there just in case Bruce did find out she was there.

“You’re playing a dangerous game,” Steve warned her. “I don’t appreciate you dragging my fiancée into it.”

“She wasn’t feeling well,” Nat insisted. “Ask her yourself.”

Steve stared her down. “Believe me. I plan to.”

That had her green eyes wide in alarm. “Steve…”

Grabbing her elbow again, gentler this time, he steered her back out into the hallway. “Neal will follow you home. I suggest you get back right now.”

When she said her name, Steve smiled. “I’m taking my fiancée home. We need to talk.”

“Steve, this isn’t her fault,” Nat tried. “She wasn’t feeling well.”

“She was told not to leave the house,” Steve told her, calling her bluff. He walked her to the emergency room entrance. “She disobeyed me. It’s not a good way to begin our marriage.”

***

The ride back to the mansion was tense and quiet. When you arrived Scott, who’d taken Clint’s place as Steve’s driver, held open the door. Dyson stood there looking concerned. Guilt flooded you as he took your coat, quietly asking how you were feeling.

“I’m fine,” you told him. “Just tired.”

Then you headed for the stairs. Fast.

When Steve called your name, you ignored it. When he marched up behind you and grabbed your elbow, you flinched.

“See to it that we’re not disturbed,” he told his men as he steered you in the direction of his study.

He shut the door harder than he needed to. You got that he was angry. He went straight for the mini bar behind his desk, pouring liquor into two crystal glasses. When he came back, he handed you one and motioned for you to sit as he leaned on his desk.

“I’d rather stand,” you told him, putting the chair between the two of you and meeting his gaze.

Steve cocked an eyebrow at you but let it go.

“Want to tell me what really happened?” Those blue eyes were intent on you as he swallowed down his bourbon.

For courage, you had a drink of your own, making him wait.

“Does it matter?” you shot back.

“If I remember correctly, I told you that I didn’t want you to leave this house for your own safety. I told you I didn’t want you even outside on the grounds,” he said angrily. “Do you remember that?”

You nodded.

“That was this morning,” Steve pointed out. “And here we are.”

You kept stubbornly quiet, having more of the bourbon.

“Nothing to say?” he pressed.

“What do you want me to say, Steve? I’m sorry? I’ll never do it again?” You shook your head. “If I remember correctly, this marriage wasn’t my idea.”

“Maybe not, but it’s going to happen, and I need you to wise up.” His gaze darkened and color seeped up from his color.

“What was I supposed to do?” You hated sounding defensive, but there it was. “Your sister asked for my help, and I went with her.”

That you didn’t stick with Nat’s composed story surprised him. But he recovered quickly.

“Just like that?”

“Just like that,” you went on. “At least she told me why she needed my help. You have all these expectations of how things will go and what I’m supposed to do. Buy you never tell me anything.”

At that, he pushed off from the desk, slamming his empty glass on the desktop hard.

“I told you not to leave this house,” he told you.

“But you didn’t tell me why,” you had to point it out. “I get some vague bullshit about Bucky Barnes being a dangerous man. That I need to do exactly as you say. Why? Does Barnes want to kill me? I feel like there’s a lot I don’t know, Steve.”

“Did Nat tell you that?” he demanded.

“No, but she did tell me that she wasn’t allowed to marry Clint and that was the man she loved.” Oh, you knew you were digging in deeper, but anger pushed you on. “Why?”

“You can’t be that naïve,” Steve shot back.

“He’s not good enough?” Your voice rose.

“Soldiers are on the front line of our business,” Steve told you. “If I’d allowed her to marry Clint, she might be a widow right now.”

That made you pause. It was a valid point. But it addressed a symptom, not the cause.

“She might be happier as a widow. At least she would have had love.”

“Love?” Steve laughed bitterly. “Love is a dangerous thing in our world. Love causes people to make stupid mistakes. Love can get you killed.”

“Well, then at least I’ll be the safest woman in the world, huh?”

That earned you a look.

“Nat should have been free to make her own choice,” you told him with feeling. “And so should I.”

“Judging from your actions today, it doesn’t appear either of you can make good choices.” Steve was pissed. “I expect better from her. I won’t tolerate this behavior from you.”

It was a warning shot.

“I’m already a prisoner in this place.” You wouldn’t call it your home. “We’re supposed to get married in a week, even though I don’t want to, and you’ve spent thousands of dollars on a wedding dress and stylists to make sure I look perfect.” You put air quotes around perfect. “What else can do you to me really?”

“I already told you,” Steve warned.

All too afraid you knew what remark meant, you sprinted for the door, the glass slipping from your hand onto the carpeting. You wrenched the door open, but Steve roughly slammed the door closed with a hand over your head.

Wrapping a powerful arm around your waist, he yanked you off your feet and quickly locked the door. It didn’t even seem difficult for him to carry your kicking and screaming ass back to the desk, shoving you face down on it with a firm hand planted between your shoulder blades.

“Seriously?” you managed before he landed the first slap.

You felt the full brunt of Steve’s anger as his hand hit your denim-covered ass again and again. He made you feel it. You tried to push up, scrambling for anything on the desk you could use as a weapon, but there were only a few papers, his phone. His empty glass tumbled onto the floor.

“We will get married,” Steve paused. “And when I tell you to do something for your safety, you will fucking do it. Do you understand?”

Growling, you tried to push up again. Another slap.

“Answer!”

“Fuck you,” you shot back.

Steve continued to spank you until tears stung the backs of your eyes. You were furious.

When he stopped again, you fought for breath.

“Do you understand?”

In the pause, you heard shuffling just outside his study. The doorknob rattled as someone tried to open it.

Dyson was probably so worried right now.

Fuck.

“I understand,” you grumbled through gritted teeth.

The second his hand lifted from your back, you pushed up with as much dignity as you could muster. Yeah, your ass hurt but damned if you were going to show it. Standing by the edge of his desk, you glared him down.

Steve looked as angry as you felt, his color high and the front of those elegant slacks were… tented.

Steve’s phone hummed on the desk, drawing your attention. A text popped up on the lock screen.

Katerina: Are you still coming, lover?

Steve snatched up the phone, shoving it in his pocket roughly. His glare faded when the tears came on. You hadn’t slept well last night. The situation with Nat had put your nerves on edge. You came home and he’d just beaten your ass. Your emotions were spiraling, anger dominating the rest just then.

“You couldn’t even tell me you already had a girlfriend,” you said bitterly.

Raking a hand through his hair in agitation, Steve’s gaze locked with yours. His expression was edged with concern now.

“I was supposed to meet her tonight. To end things.”

Swiping at your tears with your hands, you marched around him. He allowed it. When you reached the door, you unlocked it.

“I wouldn’t if I were you. You’re going to need her,” you told him. “What happened just now? That’s the last time you’re ever going to touch my ass again. I promise you that.”

Dyson and Scott both were standing outside his study. Dyson looked as concerned as you expected. Scott’s mouth hung open as you marched by them, heading for your room.

#His Inheritance #Game on

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stellarlex · 3 years ago

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One of things that annoy me about Alya in S4 is that Alya doesn't behave like Marinette's confidant, but like Master Fu stand-in.

Nah, she's worse. Master Fu at the very least had respect for Marinette and didn't bulldoze all over her like Alya does. He listened to her ideas and considered her opinion. He could at least be convinced that he was wrong. Alya is none of those things. While he made mistakes, they were at least coming from a fear of making another mistake like he did with the Temple of the Guardians. A place, mind you, that he didn't even want to go to.

And I know people rag on him for choosing children, which is a bad idea. But also I see why he did it. He's been consistently told by Wayzz that he's too old to play superheroes. Having the time limit on Marinette and Adrien was a failsafe he could utilize against them if they turned out to be bad. He wouldn't have been able to go against Hawk Moth himself, nor trust an adult with the miraculous, because they'd have no time limit.

He'd have nearly no way to get it back from them unless he pulled what he did in Feast. And even if he did pull it off on those adults and he gave it to Marinette and Adrien second, those adults would have the advantage. They could simply follow Ladybug and Chat Noir when they detransform since the child heroes would have the time limit against them. They wouldn't be able to go that far. And adults would be able to take on the children for the miraculous.

To be honest, Master Fu wasn't even nearly as bad as people in the fandom claim to be. He had very good reason to keep secrets. He was unwillingly put in charge of Gods with powers beyond anyone's imagination because of a mistake he made. And yeah, he didn't trust Adrien enough to tell him everything but that was well deserved. Adrien is irresponsible, childish, and naïve. There was no way he could be trusted to do most of the things Master Fu entrusted Marinette to do. It's simple logic. The girl who takes her job seriously, or the boy who throws tantrums and threatens to quit while people are literally drowning.

Alya is nowhere near a Master Fu stand in. She's not even a good friend most of the time. She disrespects Marinette at every turn, and even before she found out Ladybug was Marinette, she disrespected Ladybug. She kept trying to find out her identity, kept posting miraculous info to her blog despite being warned that that info was dangerous, and she even posted that kiss out of context without their permission.

Not to mention when she was first given the Fox, it wasn't Ladybug that convinced her to give it back, even though she had already agreed to give it back when it was first given to her. It was Trixx. And lets not forget the whole believe some new girl over her best friend thing, or taking a miraculous from the box without Ladybug's permission and nearly getting Marinette exposed as Ladybug and the Guardian. I'm not even gonna touch how many times Alya has forced Marinette into interactions or situations with Adrien despite her saying no or that she wasn't ready.

#alya salt #ml salt #master fu #master fu wasn't that bad #adrien salt #marinette deserves better

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mercy-burning · 4 years ago

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Trouble

Part of Mercy’s 1k Celebration: A collection of Spencer Reid x Reader requests to celebrate 1,000 followers.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader

Summary: Reader decides to cause a little trouble on vacation.

Category: SMUT (18+)

Warnings: Language, sex (dom!Spencer, hair pulling, spanking, female masturbation, rough sex, light choking, oral sex- male receiving, crying during sex, degradation, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, cum play / if I missed anything, please let me know!)

Word Count: 6.6k

Full Requests:

+ “...this is for dom spencer/post prison spencer!! okay so you guys are all out with the team on like a team vacation type thing! you decide to wear the cutest and smallest black bikini and tease spencer the whole day. and i mean tease him!! after you guys all separate off for the night he punishes you! spanks you and fucks you until you’re a whimpering mess! maybe you even fall into sub space and his aftercare is 10/10 amazing!!” — @slutforthegubes

+ “A one-shot for reader being bratty for being clingy in front of the team, so then he punishes her by spanking, edging ect?” — @smexyreid

MASTERLIST | 1K MASTERLIST

NOTE: I actually had a fluff planned for today, but I’ve been feeling rather ~spicy~ lately, so I hope this is alright 😉😂

***

Normally you didn't like to get into trouble on vacations. And really, who did? Vacations were meant to be relaxing, a way to kick back, relax, and take a break from the monotony of day-to-day life. Not to mention you and the team were far over-due for one of those breaks.

So naturally, your instincts would tell you to do just that: relax. Right?

Wrong.

You couldn't help it. As of late, your sex life was getting... interesting, to say the least. And now more than ever you were always in the mood for trouble; Whether it meant purposely bending over in the office (right in front of your boyfriend, where everyone else was in the room and he couldn't do anything about it) or touching yourself without permission, also sometimes right in front of him.

Bottom line: right now you were looking for trouble. And you knew exactly where to find it.

Trouble, in this case, took the form of a skimpy black bikini you'd spotted while shopping for the trip. it was barely a bathing suit at all, held together by thin strings that you knew would fall apart with just a mere little tug. And if that wasn't enough to entice you, it had little lace detailing that you knew would drive him insane.

Your body practically burned with desire as it sat in a bag in the backseat of your rental car, Spencer's hand on your thigh burning equally as hot.

"You feel really warm," he noted, giving your leg a comforting squeeze. "Are you okay? If you're not feeling well we can stay behind..."

"No, I'm fine," you answered truthfully with a smile. "I'm just really excited to take some time off. Lord knows we need it."

"Yeah, I know... I just wish we weren't going somewhere so... water-y..."

You laughed, placing your hand on top of his and giving it the same reassuring squeeze he'd given you. "It'll be fun. Trust me, you'll have a great time."

He didn't sound so sure about that, but he didn't know the plan you had cooked up. He was going to have fun on this trip whether he thought so or not.

***

The resort was beautiful. Hell, beautiful was nowhere near the right word for it. It was everything you'd always dreamed about, just like those fancy commercials that showed people in big pools, surrounded by palm trees and workers with white polo shirts who brought you whatever you wanted.

And the hotel rooms you stayed in? They were immaculate. It may have seemed like you were exaggerating, but honestly, you felt like a princess. The bed was just about the most comfortable thing you'd ever had the pleasure of laying on, the view was incredible, sweeping over the resort with a beautiful sunrise every morning, and the complimentary robes and towels were heavenly.

You never wanted to leave.

"Remind me to give Rossi a big hug the next time I see him," you sighed as you rolled over in bed and snuggled into Spencer's side.

He laughed softly into your hair and pulled you closer. "I know it's only been a day, but I could stay here forever. In this bed, with you..."

You smiled, feeling your heart warm at his words. "Me, too... But if you think you're gonna get out of today by being charming, then you're sorely mistaken."

Yesterday, the day you all arrived, you made a plan with Spencer: that first day would be spent settling in and having dinner with the team, going out for drinks and relaxing. And then the next day (today), you were all going to spend the day outside, enjoying the sun and enjoying each others' company. He wasn't too fond of the idea spending all day outside in the heat, but you were sure that by the end of the night he would have found it very rewarding.

Because today was the day you were initiating your plan. Since you would be in public (and you knew your boyfriend wasn't a fan of being too publicly affectionate), you were going to tease him as much as you could. You knew it would kill him, not being able to touch you in front of everyone, and you also knew it would make him mad. Most likely, he would warn you to drop it, and you would feign innocence, continuing on your merry way and proceed with the plan. And if you knew him as well as you thought, chances are he would tolerate you all day, barely putting up with your antics until you were alone for the night.

And then? Then you were hoping he would punish the hell out of you. Because honestly, nothing got your blood pumping faster than when he called you names... When he spanked you, or choked you, or refused to let you come. Or even when he did the opposite and made you orgasm so many times you cried from the overstimulation.

But you knew that whatever punishment he decided this time, it was going to be absolutely delicious.

Just the thought of it made you clench your thighs together, and Spencer seemed to notice; He brought one of his hands down to rest between them, feeling the dampness that was forming through the fabric of your underwear.

"Someone's excited this morning," he mused, pressing a kiss to your forehead as his middle finger pushed the fabric aside and gently glided through your pussy.

You sucked in a breath, nuzzling into his neck and failing to hide a smile. "Well, since we're gonna be out and about all day, don't you think we should do something about that?"

Spencer laughed again, this time slipping his finger all the way inside you, causing you to gasp out.

"That sounds like a fantastic idea, princess."

***

To say you were anxious would have been an understatement.

Because of the material of your cover-up dress, no one could see what you had on underneath unless you took it off. In reality it was more like a summer dress, landing just above the knee in a pretty black floral pattern. Your hair was up in a clip for easy taking-down, and cheap dollar-store sunglasses sat firmly on the bridge of your nose.

And just the knowledge of what was hiding beneath your seemingly innocent get-up had your stomach twisted in knots. Even as Spencer swung your hand in his as the two of you made your way to the lounge area, you pictured that same hand fisting the sheets as his wrapped around your throat while he fucked you absolutely senseless.

You hadn't even realized you were squeezing his hand so tight until he wiggled his fingers and gently nudged you with his shoulder. "You've been... squirmy and tense lately, are you sure you're alright?"

Your hand loosened its grip on his, and then you brought them up to kiss the back of his hand. "I'm fine, just excited to be in the sun all day, that's all."

There was some degree of truth to your words, but he didn't have to know that.

So, to convince him you really were fine, you practically jumped once you reached the gateway to the pool and lounge area, spotting all your friends as they waved you over. Spencer laughed as you parted from him and started walking a little faster.

"Someone's eager," Rossi mused from his chair, a glass of lemonade in his hand.

As Spencer approached behind you, Luke snickered. "Not eager enough, apparently. They're late. What were you lovebirds up to, eh?"

"Alvez, if you have to ask, you probably couldn't handle the answer," Tara said with a snicker of her own.

Funny thing was, she was absolutely right. And it made your stomach twist into even bigger knots just thinking about what happened just an hour before you left the room.

Thankfully the mood was kind enough to shift, courtesy of JJ removing her sheer cover-up and taking her sunglasses off with them. "Anyone up for a light morning swim before more people show up?"

You weren't sure whether or not it was a good idea... Did you want to start your teasing so early on that by the end of the day it was going to be an even bigger struggle to keep your hands off of Spencer, silently begging him to whisk you away and have his way with you? But what if he held out and decided to cut the day off early? If that was the case, he'd most likely drag out your punishment for hours, and is that something you wanted?

Your mind swam in a current of filthy images and possible scenarios, all of which were too damn good to pass up.

So, you counted yourself in and handed Spencer your bag, to which he gladly took and then planted a kiss on your forehead.

You waited until he was settled down, sitting at the table with Rossi—who also decided to hang back—to start removing your accessories.

The first to go was the sunglasses, easy and still unsuspicious. You were going to remove the hairclip first, but then an idea came to mind, so you easily slid out of the cover-up and let it fall to the ground.

Spencer's jaw dropped open at about the same speed, though he quickly closed it to seemingly remain unbothered. The smallest of smirks played across your lips as you bent down to pick the garment up. And you took your sweet time, purposely struggling to get it between your fingers. At one point, you had it halfway up before you 'accidentally' dropped it again, mumbling a curse under your breath.

But eventually you gave up the charade, successfully grabbing the dress and holding it out to Spencer. "Would you put this in my bag for me, babe?"

"Uh huh," he muttered, his hands practically shaking when he took it from you.

To add sugar to the pot, you took a step towards him and kissed him chastely on the mouth, just before taking the clip from your hair and shaking it out like in the movies. Truthfully you weren't sure if it was as sexy as they always made it seem, but judging by your boyfriend's inability to look at you, you figured it did the trick.

You turned and made your way to the pool then, leaving him behind with a little extra spring in your step.

***

Your swim extended until lunch time at around noon, where everyone gathered at their table. There were about thirty of these tables all around the pool, each attaching a tall umbrella to keep from the sun.

Though Spencer had seemed rattled and more shocked than anything at your outfit reveal before, now he just seemed calm. Oddly calm.

As you opened a beer, you looked over at him. "You okay, baby?"

"Yep. I'm all good."

He clearly wasn't. His hand twitched under the table, and it made your stomach flutter with butterflies as you wondered what he was thinking. Was he thinking about fucking you out here in front of everyone? Was he imagining and concocting ways to make sure you knew how much of an affect you had on him later? The thought of all of it excited you to the point of squirminess again.

It was safe to say that Spencer noticed. His hand reached out and brushed your knee about ten minutes into lunch, and it sent a jolt of electricity through you. He was never this way in public, but now he was full-on gripping your knee under the table and slowly sliding it up and up and up...

"Excuse me? Do you guys have an extra chair we could use by chance?" A voice sounded from the other side of you, and you jumped as Spencer quickly removed his hand from you.

But then you got another idea.

"Oh, here, you can use mine," you told the voice, which belonged to a middle-aged woman in a blue one-piece and a sun hat.

"Are you sure? I don't want to be any trouble..."

You stood up and smiled at her, handing over your chair as you insisted. "It's not a problem. Really."

"Thank you," she returned with a smile. "Have a great day."

"You, too!" you called as she walked off with the chair. You turned to Spencer with a smile. "You don't mind if I sit on your lap, right?"

He didn't answer, only shifted in the chair, and that gave you all the permission you needed. So you promptly sat down between his legs, and you snuggled as close to him as you could, making sure to wiggle a little more than needed without being too obvious as your friends continued chatting. Spencer's left hand gripped your hip so tightly you thought he was going to leave bruises.

That excited you more than it probably should have.

So to test your luck, you placed your hand over the top of his and drew little patterns into the back of his hand. Your other hand worked at occasionally grabbing fries to eat.

What you didn't expect was for Spencer to ask for one. Really, you didn't think much of it, though those butterflies returned in your lower belly when he ate the fry right out of your hand, bringing his face to rest right above your shoulder. Before he pulled away, he whispered just inconspicuously enough to avoid raising any red flags.

"Watch yourself, princess..."

He hissed out the nickname so harshly it made you shudder, and your thighs clenched under the table as he leaned back again.

Just in time for someone to talk.

"Why, you two are awfully clingy today." It was Penelope, giggling through a bright pink bendy straw.

You decided to play off of that, smiling and leaning back to press yourself fully against him. "This is our first vacation together, I guess I'm just excited," you said sweetly.

Spencer lightly kissed your cheek, but his hand squeezed your bare hip again. A warning not to push it.

"You know, Will and I haven't had a vacation in a while. It's kind of a bummer he had to work, otherwise we could've taken the kids." JJ pouted playfully before taking a fry.

"We'll definitely have to plan for another one of these in the future," Penelope offered happily.

You wiggled your hips just the tiniest bit as your head dropped onto Spencer's shoulder. "I agree."

His fingers were gripping your hip with brutal force now, and to cover a yelp, you faked a cough. He eased his grip, settling on splaying his entire hand flat across it instead. Its warmth mixed with the knowledge of how big it was made you all warm inside. And, God, if you didn't want to fake being sick so you could drag him up to the hotel room right then...

But you held on, ready for phase two of your plan.

While swimming before, You decided with Luke, Penelope, Tara, Matt, and Emily that a game of water-volleyball was in your future. JJ offered to call points while the rest of you, in teams, played against each other. Despite their efforts to get Rossi and Spencer to join, they both declined, but in a way you were thankful.

Being in action might just be the thing you needed to finally push him over the edge.

So soon after lunch, you all moved over to the open water-volleyball pool. JJ, Spencer, and Rossi all sat at the edge on lounge chairs to watch while you divided into two teams, Penelope, Luke, and Emily on one side, you, Tara, and Matt on the other.

Truth be told, during the game you almost completely forgot about the other little game that you were playing with Spencer—the one only you two knew about. You were quite content and happy having fun with your friends for so long that it was a distant memory.

But at one point, Matt lifted you out of the water to hit the ball, his hands firmly gripping your waist to help you do it. And you didn't think anything of it until you realized your second, and probably your most fatal, mistake.

You'd successfully spiked the ball and scored the winning point, to which your team loudly cheered. And when Matt brought you back down into the water, you flung your arms around his neck in a hug. He lifted you out of the water again as he hugged you, and over his shoulder, you spotted Spencer.

He was furious.

No one would have been able to tell, of course, but you knew. You'd seen that look before, when you were teasing him badly enough that it warranted a pretty severe punishment.

You may have won the volleyball game, but in the process you inadvertently won another game, one that excited you far more and presented you with the grand prize of one very long night.

***

Spencer was quiet with you the rest of the day. After the game, you all decided to just lay out in the sun for a few hours. Occasionally, you would sneak a glance at your boyfriend to find him in that oddly calm state again, the one that borderline scared and excited you at the same time, and for a moment you wondered if maybe you'd gone too far, even if you hadn't intentionally meant to make him jealous.

But if something was truly wrong, he would have told you. You both knew the lines between playful and serious, and this odd calm that Spencer was exuding was most definitely playful.

He only further proved that to be true when you got up to the bar to get a margarita, and you felt a presence behind you.

His hands splayed over your hips and slid forward to your stomach, pulling you back to him. The hardness you felt pressing into the thin material of your bikini made you tremble.

"I want you to finish your drink, and then I want you to meet me in our room. Take your time, princess. I'll be waiting."

Before you could even answer, he was gone, his hand lingering on your body for a moment before he let himself fully walk away. And as you slowly sipped on your drink, chatting a bit with Penelope when she came over, your skin still burned hot from his touch.

***

You took a deep breath before stepping ino the room. Your hands were shaking with excitement and your stomach churned at the sight of him.

He was perched on the bed, freshly showered, wearing nothing but a towel hung low on his hips while he read a book. His hair was wet, towel dried and hanging in soft curls in front of his eyes.

Spencer always took your breath away, but this?

You were in deep shit.

He didn't even look up from his book. He continued flipping the page and gently nodded towards the bathroom door. "Go get a shower ready. I'll be in in a minute."

Your first instinct was to obey. But then again, trouble was what you wanted in the first place, so trouble was what you were going to deliver.

"Why?"

"Because you're covered in chlorine from the pool, and you have to shower." He still didn't look up at you. And that just wouldn't do.

"I'm sure you're right, babe, but I just don't feel like it. And you can't make me."

His eyes flitted up to meet you, just for a brief second before he sighed and shut the book. "Y/N..."

"Spencer..."

"You've been a tease all day, do you really want to make it harder for yourself?" This time he was looking up at you fully, meeting you with a bored expression that was just so fucking hot. You couldn't resist.

"I don't know," you teased, crossing your arms. "Do I?"

"Trust me, princess, you don't..."

You giggled at the nickname and started walking towards him, kicking off your flip flops and uncrossing your arms in the process. "Hmm... I think I do."

"Take another step, see what happens," he offered plainly.

Just for the hell of it, you stopped and then took one giant step forward, bringing you to the edge of the bed where he was sitting. You smiled down at him and felt your insides heat up as he brought his hand out, roughly pulling at the thin fabric of your bikini. He pulled you right on top of him, just for you to be rolled over and pinned on your stomach.

His hands pinned your hands behind your back as he pushed his body into yours, making you whimper out excitedly.

"So be it. Don't make a sound unless I tell you to. Understand?" The sternness in his voice sent another chill through you as you nodded. But then one of his hands came up and tugged on your hair, pulling your neck back. "Answer me."

"I understand," you said, though not without making it sound like you were bored.

That only seemed to make him more mad, which of course was a win for you. He tugged your hair harder, causing you to yelp out with a masochistic laugh.

"Something funny?" he inquired evenly.

"You're cute when you're mad," you offered with a shit-eating grin, wiggling your ass against him.

This time, instead of pulling your head back, he shoved it down into the mattress, his hand shifting to hook his middle finger around your cheek and into your mouth. "You're cute when you shut up and obey me... But I have a feeling you're not going to be very good for me tonight, are you princess?"

You only hummed around his finger in response, clenching your pussy around nothing as your body suddenly went wild with a wave of pleasure at his words.

"That's what I thought... Let's see how well you take your spankings, maybe then I'll go easy on you later."

He wasted no time then, yanking your swim bottoms down and running his hand over the curve of your ass.

"Let's see... One—" SMACK. "—for making a show of wearing this slutty little bikini."

To keep it interesting, you wiggled your ass for more, and he returned the favor by spanking you even harder than the last time. "Two, for giving away your chair just to sit in my lap." Very quickly after, he administered another one, following with, "Three, for teasing me at lunch in front of our friends."

"But I d—"

SMACK. "Four, for interrupting me," he said quietly. And with the way his hand was rubbing over your stinging skin, he was no doubt admiring his work so far. He even hummed, lifting his hand occasionally, leading you to think he was going to spank you again— Only for him to settle on rubbing over your ass again.

He was drawing this out. Taking his time. Seeing how antsy you would get.

Needless to say, it was working.

Your hands, which were still pinned behind your back by Spencer's other hand, started to flex, and you whimpered out in want.

"What's the matter, princess?" he cooed.

"I... I want you," is all you could think to say. Because you really did.

"Bad girls don't get what they want. Especially brats. So tell me, do you think I'm going to give you what you want?"

You were supposed to answer him, but in the name of trouble, you remained silent.

He waited for an answer that never came. And when he was tired of waiting, realizing what you were doing, Spencer spanked you again. "Five, for not answering me."

Before you could do or say anything, he landed another slap to your ass. "And six, for having Matt's hands all over you."

You couldn't help it. You laughed. "Oh, that got to you, huh? His hands were nice and big. Reminded me of y—ah!"

He spanked you again, hard. Tears stung behind your eyes and you smiled through them.

"Seven," he growled. "For being a fucking brat."

You took a few deep breaths before speaking again. "Aw, are you jealous? You really think I would—fuck!"

Another spank. "Eight. Don't you dare get it to ten." It was obvious that he was challenging you. Either that, or you were just looking for trouble so badly that you were willing to hear his words as a challenge. But regardless, you challenged him back with one simple, breathy word.

"Nine."

SMACK. "Nine. You must really be looking for trouble, huh?"

You laughed, wiggling your ass one more time. "You don't even know the half of it."

Spencer spanked you one last time, harder than all the rest of them, and you actually yelped out, squeezing your eyes shut.

"Ten. Now get in the shower, or I'll make it double."

You thought about it, but a shower actually sounded really good, and it would give you a chance to breathe before he utterly wrecked you in a little while.

"Okay," you offered, slumping against the bed loosely to show him your surrender. He gently let go of you then, rubbing over your ass a few times before pulling away from you and helping you stand.

"You want me to put something on that now or later?" he asked gently, brushing the hair from your face.

"Later," you returned with a wink and a smile.

He huffed a laugh before gently smacking your ass one more time and sending you off in the shower.

***

As excited as you were for the rest of the evening, you were tempted to take as long in the shower as you wanted, just to see what Spencer would do. But you decided to just take a shower normally, rinsing out your hair just as you always did. You quickly washed up your body, wincing a bit at the sting of your ass under the soap and warm water.

And then you started thinking about how exhilarated you felt as he punished you. Each sharp, warm smack of his hand on your skin made you feel utterly electric and wet. It was a wonder you weren't actually dripping down your leg and onto the bed at how badly you wanted him.

The thought sent your hand down to said wetness. You really shouldn't have been touching yourself, but you were practically burning for him, melting at the amount of teasing you'd done today and the anticipation that came with every move. Your hand was relentless, looking for its own trouble as you moaned out as quietly as you could. The water was still cascading down your back as you rubbed tight, fast circles on your clit, hoping to get fast relief.

And then a knock came at the door.

"I want you out here in five minutes!"

Sure enough, Spencer's voice was enough to finally push you off the edge, wave after wave of pleasure coursing through you. But as soon as it subsided, you turned the water off and got out to dry yourself off.

Hopefully he wouldn't ever find out what you've done. But the devious side of you really wanted to know what he'd do if he did.

With that thought flooding your brain, you quickly finished drying off and walked out into the bedroom to find Spencer waiting on the bed again. His towel was still wrapped around his waist, and it gave you an idea.

You winked and dropped your own towel, revealing yourself fully to him.

"Did I ask you to drop the towel?" he chastised.

"Nope," you replied, placing your hands on your hips.

"Then why did you do it?"

You decided to take the mocking route, drawling out an overexaggerated, "Because I'm a dirty little whore, and I need you to put your big cock inside me."

"Are you done?"

He looked bored again, and it made you want him even more. So you said, "No. Once your cock is in me, I wa—"

"Were you touching yourself in the shower?"

Holy fuck.

"No."

Spencer stood up and glided over to you until he was towering over you, clearly unbelieving of your blatant lie. "No?"

"No," you repeated, the tiniest of smirks forming on your lips.

Without warning, his hand was between your legs, and a gasp left you as he found your clit, rubbing it almost exactly the same way you'd been earlier. You couldn't help the strangled moan that left your mouth, and he smirked knowingly.

"Yep. Those are definitely the sounds I heard."

And then he removed his hand, making you whine at the loss of contact. "I'm sorry," you whispered, hoping he'd return, if only to punish you for what you did by overstimulating you.

He seemed to have another idea, though.

"You're sorry?"

"Mhm," you whimpered, reaching out to grab his hand. "I'm so sorry."

When you had hold of his hand, he took control, gripping your wrist and pushing it away, and then he grabbed your shoulder. "Then why don't you get on your knees—" he pushed on your shoulder and you obliged happily, "—and show me how sorry you are..."

Your pussy throbbed around nothing as you looked up at him, eagerly waiting for his towel to drop. But he didn't move, and it was clear that he was waiting on you to do it.

So you yanked the towel down and marveled at how hard and ready he was. Your head seemed to move of its own accord, like it was magnetically drawn to his dick, and you weren't complaining. And then your tongue flattened and licked a broad stripe underneath him, before you quickly made work of taking him completely into your mouth.

It didn't take long to start a nice rhythm bobbing up and down, occasionally looking up to see him. Again, he looked bored, and though that would have spurred you on before, now you were desperate to please. So you worked your mouth faster, slacking your jaw and taking him in deeper, using your hands to keep yourself steady by gripping the back of his thighs. You moaned and gagged around him, yet kept your pace up regardless.

"Come on, princess, you can do better than that," he teased, fisting your hair and holding you down on his cock. "Apologize like you mean it."

He released your hair then, and you pulled back to take a breath of air before spitting obscenely on his dick and quickly stroking him with your hand. "I'm sorry, baby, I'm so so sorry," you whined, right before taking his balls in your mouth. You kept at that for a few moments before going to take him in your mouth again.

This time you were meaningful in every single movement, taking him in slow and deep. Each time he hit the back of your throat you held yourself there and choked around him as long as you could, tears falling from your eyes. And then you'd pull away slowly, swirling your tongue around his tip before repeating.

Eventually though, he pulled you away completely and studied you as you sat there, knelt on the floor in front of him with red eyes, and tears and spit completely coating your face. Your lips were glistening and puffy as you panted, whispering soft apologies.

"What a good girl," Spencer mused, brushing hair from your eyes and wiping tears from your cheeks. "I accept your apology. Come here."

His gentle voice all but pulled you to him as you stood on shaky knees. He hadn't even really done anything to you yet, and you were already a mess. That fact made you smile.

You wiped most of the mess from your face and nodded. "So, what's my reward?"

Spencer huffed a laugh. "For being a brat? Nothing."

"Aw, but I thought I earned your forgiveness..." You pouted playfully, and he pulled you closer by the waist.

"Yeah, well you're being cocky, so I take it back."

Before you could say anything, he kissed you, bringing both of his hands up to cradle the sides of your head. You all but melted into him and let him lead you to the bed, where you were turned around and bent over again.

He used his leg to spread yours apart, right before bringing a hand to the nape of your neck. As he grabbed a fistful of your hair and gently tugged your head back, his other hand fell between your legs and gently parted you.

"You ready, princess?"

"Uh huh," you whined back, right as he pushed forward and glided his cock through your pussy. He waited, making you anticipate that sweet moment when he'd finally enter you, and you could tell he was enjoying every second. You wiggled against him, and he yanked your hair.

"Ah-ah, be patient... Be patient..."

He continued just sliding himself through your opening until you weren't expecting it. And then he slammed into you, eliciting a loud moan from the back of your throat.

"Sh, shh," Spencer expressed, releasing your hair and sliding his hand to cover your mouth. "Everyone's going to hear you, princess, you need to keep quiet. Can you do that for me?"

"Mhm," you mumbled against his hand, letting out a strangled sigh when he placed it on your shoulder instead. He kept up a nice, hard pace pounding into you, each slap of his hips against your burning ass just the right amount of pain to be pleasant. And you were thankful for the bed underneath you, because if you didn't have it, you'd surely have buckled under the weight of your knees already.

Feeling how limp you were in his grasp, Spencer used both his hands to wrap around the front of your throat, keeping you upright as your hands pressed into the mattress.

"Tell me, princess, do you think you deserve to come so soon?"

You were so caught up in how hard and deep he was fucking you that you were pretty sure it wouldn't matter what you told him— you were going to orgasm regardless, because there was no way you could even fathom trying to hold it in. Whether or not Spencer would show you any mercy at that point was a mystery.

You were just going to have to find out.

"I—I... Ohhhh..."

You heard him laugh lowly, and it made you clench around him. "Oh, it hasn't even been five minutes, and I've already fucked you so dumb you can't even speak? Huh?"

You whined in response, letting your head fall to the side as you tried to look at him. And you barely caught a glimpse of his hair as he continued speaking. "Aw... My poor little princess... That's what you get, isn't it? When you act like a dirty little whore..."

He was recalling what you'd teased earlier, and it brought you closer to the edge more than you liked to admit.

"Uh... huh," you whined out, dangerously close to coming undone.

"Alright then, princess. Come for me, show me what you got."

Unsurprisingly, it didn't take very long for that to happen. You let out a string of whimpers and cries as he fucked you through your orgasm, his hands slightly tightening around your throat as well. Every sensation was blinding and intense, just like you knew it'd be, even if it was only your second orgasm of the night.

And you had a decent suspicion that it wasn't going to be your last.

Even after you were done, Spencer kept at it, relentlessly fucking you into the mattress until your legs were surely numb. Your knees were still sore from being on the floor before, and likewise, your ass was still burning. Not to mention the overstimulation you were experiencing as one of his hands moved down to rub at your clit.

Eventually though, he stopped, and you weren't sure why. But then he flipped you around, laying you on the edge of the bed and leaning over you, his hands brushing more of the tears from your cheeks.

"I wanna see your pretty little eyes when I come, okay? You think you can keep 'em open for me, princess?"

"Mhm," you whined out as he pushed into you again.

He settled on a slow pace that built and built until he was fucking you fast and hard and incredibly deep. His entire body leaned into yours as he snapped his hips forward over and over again, brutal in their goal to completion. You kept whining out, feeling another orgasm coming quickly as you let yourself succumb to him.

"That's it, princess, you're taking it so well. We're almost done..." He whispered comforts into your temple, moments before you reached your peak once more. You shook violently underneath him, which was all he needed to finish himself.

He pulled back and looked into your eyes, filled with tears at the overstimulation, as he snapped his hips forward once, twice, and then three times before letting go. He held himself inside of you, moaning out while looking into your eyes. The feel of his cock throbbing and spilling over inside of you was just about the most comforting thing in the world right then, accompanied by soft brushes of his fingers through your hair and even softer declarations of love.

Long after he stayed inside of you, catching his breath, Spencer pulled out and examined you, the way your body glistened perfectly with the right amount of sweat. Your chest heaved, each dip and curve and peak of your breasts slowly rising and falling as you trembled. He slid down your body, until finally his eyes caught sight of your pussy, glistening and dripping with his cum. It absolutely wrecked him in the best way possible, so much so that he couldn't help himself.

He brought his hand to your opening, gently scooping up his cum and gathering it onto the pads of his fingers. You moaned out as he did it, and he knew then exactly what he wanted.

"Open up, princess," he pried softly, bringing his fingers to your mouth. You gladly did what you were told and sighed out as he glided them over your tongue, practically spoon-feeding you his cum. He pumped his fingers in and out of your mouth slowly, feeling every vibration on your tongue from the sounds you made. And then he did it again, bringing his fingers back to your pussy to gather more of his mess.

He did this until it was pretty much all gone, and truthfully, you would have let it go on forever. The intimacy of it all, the soft and sensual way in which he explored and watched you, and the love you felt for each other all wrapped up in a shiny, red bow was the perfect end to a perfect day.

You would have fallen asleep, but Spencer was gently nudging your arm. "Hey, you," he said gently, pressing a kiss to your temple. "I think it's time to run us a bath, don't you think?"

"Sure," you agreed quietly with a smile. "And then we can sleep, right?"

"I think the team might get mad at us for ditching dinner, but I'm willing to risk that."

With a laugh, you reached over and kissed him. "Good. I love you, Spencer."

"I love you, too, princess."

TAGS NOT WORKING: @emilyprentisslittlewhore @takeyourleap-of-faith

PERMANENT TAGLIST:

@elldell1204 @muffin-cup @calm-and-doctor @slutforthegubes @s1utformgg @rainsong01 @yourmisosoup @liveloudwriteloud @reidsconverse

If you would like to be added to the taglist, feel free to message me or leave a comment, and I’ll add you!

#spencer reid x reader #mercy 1k celebration #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid smut #criminal minds #spencer reid #criminal minds fanfiction

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konigsfaerie · 3 years ago

Text

Sapphire Throne

Summary: While in the throne room, Loki finds a way to relieve his new queen's stress.

(sub!loki x dom!fem!reader)

cw: contains bdsm and femdom)

The Mortal Queen is what they called you, even though you were mortal no longer. You spent your childhood and formidable years on Earth, and when you met Loki and were taken to Asgard, your newfound people either loved or hated you. But the people that loved you adored you, would die for you, and the people that hated you really hated you, some going as far to commit treason to get you off of the throne. Some had views like Odin. Views such as mortals are of no consequence, only made to worship the gods of old and die at an early age. It infuriated them that someone from Earth could hold such power not only physically, but at court.

Nevertheless, Loki fell in love with you during your time on Earth and made you Asgard’s queen, and you stepped into the role with such love in your heart for your people, whether they detested you or not. As you sat on the throne, your love next to you, deciding whether to go into enemy territory, you placed a hand on your chin and contemplated for a moment, water running through your veins. “I hate to put our people at war again…. Our soldiers through more battles,” you said, your eyes falling to the floor and then back up to your council members. “But I fear if we don’t, Asgard might fall. We can’t risk our people like this.”

Most of the council members had the utmost respect for your rule, although one or two silently protested your status. “Is it decided, My Queen?”

You gave a look to Loki, and he nodded in return. “It is, Vastros. We will invade their territory within the next nightfall. We go to war this winter,” you proclaimed, slamming down your large staff, the color of lavender. The look on your face was no look of pride, of hope. It was the look of a woman knowing she would send her people to die, even though you were sure we’d win the war.

The entire castle shook with your proclamation, and Loki’s matching staff hummed in response. For many decisions, Loki let you take the lead, as he knew you needed to solidify your title as queen. It didn’t matter much, because on many, if not all issues, you eventually came to the same decision.

As the council members left in unison, both of you stayed at your thrones. You gave a deep sigh, a hand flying to your forehead.

You personally got to know almost all of the soldiers before you were first crowned. At first it was an act of simply wanting to gain trust among the people, but soon they became some of the most trusted friends you had. You were already a trained fighter, but the way of the Asgardians were much different, and your magic was extremely new to you. While you could wield the power of the elements, they taught you power of the supreme weapons they held. This was why it was so painful to declare war. You knew that many of the people you came to love so much would die on a nondescript, frozen-over battlefield, no one to send them off to Valhalla.

“I know you’re stressed, my darling,” Loki breathed, “but you did make the right decision.” His deep green eyes found your chocolate brown ones, full of love and sympathy. “I suppose I never warned you of how much it could hurt… making decisions for a whole nation of people.”

You shook your head. “No… I suppose I didn’t know how many enemies we had. How much they wanted to get their hands on our vaults.”

His face fell to the floor, knowing he couldn’t exactly say something to make all the hurt go away. He knew how much you loved the Asgardian people, your newfound people. And knowing some of them might die… He quickly fell back into his head, as he was quite likely to do. But you knew him completely. You knew his thoughts, his doubts. His thoughts of thinking he wasn’t good enough to rule Asgard, not good enough to rule beside his Mortal Queen, not good enough to love his queen and receive love in turn. You wouldn’t let him fall back into those doubts.

“There is one thing you could do to relieve my stress, pet,” you quipped, giving him a small smirk. While you would maintain your composure at almost all times, the love in your eyes couldn’t be mistaken.

His back straightened on his throne, his eyes slowly finding yours. “Anything,” he said, not much more than a breathless whisper at the sound of one of his favorite nicknames you gave him.

“Get on your knees.”

Loki was wearing his Asgardian leathers, and you also fell into traditional Asgardian fashions, a small blue cape adorning your shoulders to honor your favorite element, with small green accents to honor Loki, only going down to your mid-back. Beyond that, you had a white jumpsuit on and white boots, streaked with even more green.

Before you could blink, Loki was at your feet, his knees on the ground and his back perfectly arched like the good boy he was. “M-My queen.”

Many people would probably guess he was a brat, and you a brat tamer, of which you both could absolutely be, but the gods-honest truth was that he loved serving you in all ways. It got him off. It made his cock twitch. And seeing him on his knees for you made you wet. Something about his willingly submissive nature towards you and only you made you want to make him beg.

“Oh, sweet boy,” you teased with a chuckle, “you’re so ready for me.” Even with all the doom and gloom, you knew that throughout the meeting when he looked at you, he was imagining just this. You placed a boot on his shoulder, contemplating just what you had in store for him. “What shall I do with you?”

The guards were still at the doors, which undoubtedly made Loki more excited, knowing his personal guards knew how much he served his queen.

“Leave us,” you commanded.

As they gave a curt nod and exited with a bow, the doors closed with a loud thud and you gave another smirk. “I know you like it when they watch, my little prince,” you mused, gazing into those wanting eyes.

In turn, he gave a small whimper and bowed his head.

“Unclasp my cape,” you ordered.

His hands scrambled onto your body, feeling on you until he reached your cape, unhooking the small golden buttons with his fingers. “P-Please let me touch you. Please.”

A small, almost nonexistent golden zipper ran down your white jumpsuit, and as you unzipped yourself, you pushed him back onto his kneeling stance. “Touch me?” you teased, his mouth falling open as he realized you didn’t have anything underneath your clothes. Your body lay more than halfway exposed, his eyes going directly to your breasts.

“Touch… these?” You grabbed your tits, pushing them together and twisting your nipples in-between your two fingers. You gave a little moan, spreading your legs so he could see how you glistened.

He knew to stay put. To stay absolutely still until you said otherwise, because he was such a good boy for you. Because he had seen how you enjoyed punishing him so much the last time he dared to touch you without permission, spanking him and not letting him cum for days at a time until he begged for release. The ways in which you punish him each time he disobeys got more creative.

“Now, who’s my good boy?”

“Me! I-I am! I promise, just please let me-”

You grabbed his wrist, pushing his face into yours, letting his lips fall onto yours. As the two of you kissed, you grabbed his throat and pushed him towards your body, making his hands grab your thighs. “Touch me,” you breathed.

He went to work on your body, squeezing your thick thighs, going up to your equally thick torso, cupping your breasts. You could feel his breath hitching. As your tongue flipped over his, you used your powers to slip off his pants, revealing the feminine underwear he had on that you commanded he always wear.

“Up.”

At once, he jumped up and let you survey his body, a small pout on his lips from the ghost of touch he felt. You felt it too, but you’d never reveal that. In times like these, you’d never let him know just how much you needed his fingers against your body.

“Take your shirt off.”

He quickly stripped down, all but his underwear, as you hadn’t ordered him to do so. And he knew how much you liked looking at his cock straining the thin fabric, of his ass popping out of the cheeky, lacy underwear. Loki bit his lip, waiting for you to instruct him further. Needing you to tell him what to do, even yearning for it.

“Such a good little prince,” you observed, putting one finger on the lacy underthings and pulling them down, his rather heavy cock immediately popping out and standing to attention. “And an excited one, hm?”

You finally arose from your throne of crystal sapphire, walking behind and fetching a black collar. “Is this what you want?”

He suddenly was unable to speak, only nodding without abandon, knowing the collar was a special treat you only gave to him when he was extra obedient. You let out a chuckle, placing it around his neck until you heard a click. With any other collar, he might be able to unlock it, but not this one. You had specifically trained with the most experienced of magical designers and created this yourself. Only could you unlock it, and that’s why it excited him so much.

You sat back down upon your sapphire throne, abandoning your jumpsuit and spreading your legs, placing them on Loki’s back, pushing him to your pussy. “Make your mommy feel good.”

His tongue immediately got to work, spreading over your glistening folds and lapping at your clit. As soon as he started moaning, you knew you were done for. The vibrations were already sending you over the edge, and as you groaned, you grabbed a handful of his black curly hair quite roughly, which only made matters worse for him.

He scooted even closer to you, slowly pushing a finger into you. As his fingers pumped into you, you gripped one arm on your chair, the other holding his hair tightly. Not only was he pumping into you, adding another finger, but he curled them, knowing exactly where your g-spot was. “My love-” you moaned, “Fuck!”

His tongue worked away from your clit, obviously wanting to taste you for longer. He stroked your pussy with his tongue, up and down, up and down, which caused you to wriggle around in his mouth. You could hear nothing but moans from him, his tongue diving deep in your hole.

Unable to stand it any longer, you gave him an order. “My clit, now. Make me cum.” You could only hold your composure for so much longer.

You could feel the disobedience thrumming off of him, wanting his tongue inside you for as long as he could. His tongue entered your hole again and in response, you dug your boots into his back and he let out a small cry of pleasure. “Now!”

He immediately realized his mistake, his place, and his tongue started making circles around your clit slowly. “Ah, fuck, Loki!” you gasped. “Make your queen cum, make your mommy cu-” Your body pulsed with pleasure, digging your boots into him even more. As you tried to escape your orgasm, his hands found your thighs and his tongue kept your pleasure in place, making you dizzy as your orgasm reached its height and your hips bucked against his soft lips.

As you came down, your hand wrapped around Loki’s beautiful curls once again, snapping his head up to look at you. You surveyed his beautiful face, his chin dripping with your juices. His tongue licked his lips, and you pressed your mouth to him, your tongue circling his, tasting yourself.

Your hand moved down to his waist, moving him to your lap and pressing him against your chest. “Sweetie?” you grabbed his face, looking into his eyes and putting on the sweetest smile you could muster. “I’m not done with you yet.”

His eyes widened slightly, his cock pressing against you as he made little movements, needing to feel your touch. “Mommy,” he begged. “Please. I’ll do anything, just please touch me.”

Your firm hand gripped his cock tightly. “Like this? Is this what my sweet boy wants?”

He started nodding, his mouth opening slightly as his eyes dug into yours. “B-But I…”

“Use your words, pet.”

“I want to be inside you!” The words almost came out like one, and you gripped the edge of his collar, getting up from the throne and dragging him just beyond the throne room, upstairs to both of your chambers.

As you dragged him above, you glanced at his blushed face, loving the fact that you had total control of him, body and soul. He was yours, and there was no denying that. In that moment and all moments forward, he’d do anything you told him to do.

You both entered your rooms, clad in black and white marble, huge statues of jade and sapphire separating the bedchambers, living spaces, and kitchen. With a stroke of your hand, the candles and fires lit at once, illuminating his face as you pushed him against the stone wall and started teasing the head of his cock.

With a touch of your finger, the collar fell to the floor and before he could start pouting, you pressed your hand against his throat. He gave a smile completely fueled by pleasure, his form slacking against the wall as your hand moved to stroke him. “Tell me what you want again.”

“I want….. I want…. Inside of you,” he whimpered, writhing against your hand.

“And should I let you cum tonight?”

“Yes! Please!” His blush went deep red, his eyes snaking over your form, landing at your drenched pussy, moving his eyes just for a moment at your hardened nipples.

“Please what?” Your face was one of hardened stone, minutes away from bending him over and punishing him until he cried if he didn’t call you by your proper name in the next five seconds.

“Please my queen! Fuck me!”

You gripped his throat even harder, moving him over to the bed lined with silk sheets and white covers. You threw him onto it, flipping him over to appreciate his ass. You gripped it hard, giving it a little spank. You simply couldn’t help yourself, and you made a mental side note to fuck it later until he was whimpering under your weight.

You flipped him over once more, straddling his perfect thighs and placing his hands on your tits. “Squeeze my nipples, my little prince.”

Of course he did as he was told and his hands sent shocks through your body. You moved his knee up, slowly grinding your clit against it. You bit your lip, letting out a little moan as he continued to palm your breasts. “I love you, sweet boy. I love you so much.”

“I love you more tha-'' before he could get the words completely out, you softly pressed your lips to his, nothing like the desperate kiss only minutes before. This time, it was tender, it was soft, but it also contained all the words you wanted to say.

I love you.

I’d do anything for you.

I’d kill for you.

I’d die for you.

As you pulled away, you gripped his hard cock and slowly lowered yourself onto him, promoting a loud moan from his lips. “Does this feel good, baby?”

His head tilted back, grabbing your thighs tightly enough to leave marks. You’d let him. If anyone was to see, it would only be further proof you owned each other. And the bruises around his neck would be proof you especially owned him. He could conceal them with magic, but he wouldn’t. During council meetings and social gatherings, he’d press against them so he could feel what you did to him the previous night.

Before he could get his answer out, you slowly started riding him, almost teasing him. In response, he fingers teased your nipples, twisting and rubbing them slowly. You reached his full length, and realized you probably weren’t going to keep your calmness for much longer.

You leaned your body completely against his, wrapping your arms around him and riding him with abandon. “You’re a fucking goddess- you’re - you’re everything I’ve ever wanted,” he breathlessly remarked.

His length completely filled you up, and as always, was stretching you out. Sometimes you thought you couldn’t handle it, but eventually you regained your control and pressed your hands around him, enveloping him to completion. You bounced back and forth on his dick, crying out in unison with him, already on the brink. You were pulsing against his thickness, but you didn’t want to cum just yet, if only to tell him not to.

“Goddess, can I?” At this point, his words were just sounds and you didn’t know if you could reply without moaning your words out.

“Can you what?” you let out.

“Can I cum? Please?” The last word was just a plea, and you knew he’d do anything just to cum, to release inside of you and have you dripping with his cum.

“Yes, that’s what you want. You want me to cum against your cock and make me leak with your cum. Tell me that’s what you want,” you growled.

“Yes! That’s what I want!” he started, thrusting with you as if he couldn’t handle it anymore. “I want you fill you up, I want my cum all over your thighs, I want-”

“Cum for me!”

At those words, you both cried out as you slammed his shoulders onto the bed, bouncing up and down and taking both your orgasm and his.

The orgasm you had previously was nothing compared to this. You were all filled up, cumming against his cock without abandon. You could feel him shooting inside of you, you could see his hands ripping at the bedsheets as he moaned in pleasure, which only built the orgasm, stars exploding in your eyes.

You both were breathless, panting against each other's bodies. For a minute, you couldn’t move, the pleasure finally ebbing from your body, but then Loki was flipped on top of you, stroking his dark curls and kissing his forehead.

You could feel how tired he was, how tired you made him, and you commanded the collar back to your hand, locking it against his throat. “Thank you,” he said, biting his lip and looking into your eyes.

“I love you, my sweet boy.”

“I love you more than words could possibly say.”

#lokixreader #loki/reader #sub loki #lokixyou #loki/you #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki fic #loki oneshot #loki smut #fanfic #my fanfic

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thesunicarusfellfor · 4 years ago

Note

Hello my beloved! ( Can I call you that? And people it's platonic!) I have an idea and this is for pogtopia wilbur and ghostbur! Can you do a reader who loves painting and one morning they find a picture of them with a note about the reader confessing to then but they didn't do it in person because they were really nervous? Thank you!

And please take as much time as you want also could it be a long story? Thank you!

- Your beloved Moosh 🥺

Moosh, darling! Hello! Yes, you have my full permission to call me that, thank you for asking! This is the third time I've written this story because Tumblr just really enjoys screwing me over...

Also. You never clarified whether you wanted fluff or angst, but it's Pogtopia Wilby so I kinda just went with angst? If you want a happy end to this, I'll rewrite this no problem! But it won't be as long because... Well, you'll see. Also also, I didn't exactly know where to throw the Ghosty Bur in, so... Yeaaaah? He's at the end tho!

THE FIRST PART IS LIKE NEW NEW POGTOPIA WILBUR

TW: (Sorry it didn't save the first time) C!Schlatt, bruising, threatened hanging, self doubt

Perfect Picture of Imperfection (Pogtopia!C!Wilbur x GN!Painter!Reader)

Maybe you painted Schlatt's horns the wrong colour? Or his jawline was off? He was furious when you finally showed him your art piece... It was the best you could do with the few hours you were given! Paint physically couldn’t dry as fast as Schlatt wanted it to you… He didn’t seem to care when he threw the wooden frame of the torn canvas at you, giving you a dark bruise right above your eye, or when he started yelling at you and threatening to burn your art studio down to the ground.

Or even when he grabbed you and suggested to Quackity to hang you at the gallows for insulting the emperor of Manberg.

The man you had once been friends with grinned widely and nodded happily, “Yes, sir! Yes, sir!” He said, without a single care that you were a living human being, only giving a cheer as he picked you up so your feet were dangling on the ground, leaving you silent in terror. Tubbo only averted his gaze.

“Aww… You’re like a little fawn, caught in the torchlight of a traveller.” The ram hybrid smiled in a sickly sweet manner, causing the colour to drain from your face, “Come now, darling, I’m not a monster… You’re the only one of Wilbur’s sweet little subjects that he hasn’t gotten back, and here I thought you were his favourite… Or maybe he left you here to act as a sacrifice so they could all be off doing their own thing... Guess he prefers Niki over you…” He whispered as he dropped you, chuckling softly as you scurried out of the building as you quite literally ran for your life.

You called Wilbur when you were safely hidden in your house, gasps and sobs leaving your mouth quicker than tears could pool out of your eyes…

“(Y/n)... You can’t be calling me when-”

“Wil…?” You whispered into the communicator, your voice shaking enough to shut him up immediately, “He… He’s going to…” Hiccuping meekly, you curled in tighter on yourself as you heard Schlatt’s loud and pompous voice come over the speaker system he had hung up all around the once beautiful country, “I think I’m going to die here…”

The dead silence that followed through the line was sickening…

“Is it true…?” You couldn’t help but find yourself wondering aloud, “Is that why I’m the only one left here? Am I a sacrifice so you can live happily elsewhere? ...Is that why you haven’t come to get me?”

“(Y/n), I want you to never utter those words again.” His voice was dark and steely as there was a bit of crashing around that came from the other side as well as faint mumbles which were clearly from Tommy judging by all the swearing, “You are not a sacrifice. Now... Get your Enderchest and Inventory packed up, I’m coming to get you tonight, and then I’ll explain in person…”

The line cut off and you slowly lowered the communicator down from beside your ear. Your heart was sinking one minute, but soaring the next… A terrible feeling really. You were saved! But… He could get caught trying to come to get you… You couldn’t let that happen for sure. With a heavy sigh, you rubbed your eyes free of tears before standing up and beginning to shove any necessary equipment into your Enderchest, including your finished painting of Wilbur that you were going to give to him when he won the election… And finally, confess your feelings…

When midnight hit and the lights of the city finally died down, you climbed up onto your roof and looked around for the president, fear and paranoia flooding through your veins as your mind went wild. What if he got caught? What if he was trying to give you false hope? What if. What if. What if. These sort of questions buzzed around in your mind for an hour as you waited for your saviour to arrive…

Finally, when enough became enough and you decided he wasn’t coming, you stopped pacing and slowly sat down on the roof as the tears began to start again. You could practically hear Schlatt chiding you in the back of your mind, telling you that you were a fool for holding out hope.

“(Y/n)!” A low hiss came from beside you and a hand touched your shoulder. You certainly would’ve screamed bloody murder if another hand hadn’t quickly wrapped around your mouth, “Sh, sh, sh, it’s me… It’s Wilbur.” The voice soothed softly as the hand left your mouth, quickly allowing you to turn your head.

It didn’t feel real… Seeing him after so long… And in an outfit other than his uniform. “Wil...bur?” You repeated, staring at him for a while before giving him a soft smile filled with relief, “You really came…”

“Of course I did!” He almost seemed offended for a moment before his eyes softened as he realized what Schlatt must’ve drilled into your head. Wilbur easily caught you as you flung your self at him, quickly wrapping his arms around you and burying his face in your (h/l) (h/c) hair, “I missed my artiste…” He whispered, donning a temporary french accent for the word ‘artist’.

Holding back a sob, you quickly grabbed his extended hand and followed him as he jumped off your roof, safely landing in a bed of hay that you used to feed your old farm animals that Schlatt confiscated before following him out of this damned country.

After that, things seemed to change between you and Wilbur. He always seemed to be at your side, choosing to personally train you rather than letting Techno train you with everyone else, or even running over ideas on how to expand Pogtopia with you rather than with Tommy. His touches always lingered longer or he somehow wound up leaning closer to you than originally necessary, but you never caught yourself complaining. He would watch you paint beautiful designs along the armour he had gifted you, knowing full well it would chip off and was heavily unnecessary, but he only smiled and let you continue doing it as long as it didn��t interfere with enchantments.

Each day with Wilbur became better and better, but your heart physically couldn’t take it any longer, you had to tell him that you felt this way for him… The way that you had to fight back the reddening of your cheeks when his chest pressed against your back as he adjusted your stance in training, or the way you had to struggle to regulate your breathing every time he complimented you on how far you had come…

He was going to be the death of you…

Your already calloused hands were bruised and blistered, but somehow, you were still able to hold a quill, pinched in between the fingers of your dominant hand. Wilbur had come to your Pogtopia home this morning, but upon realizing that he had knocked you to the ground a little too hard yesterday as you were incredibly stiff and sore, he let you have the day off of training.

This was at least a little chance… You had torn a page from your notebook and sat down at your handmade desk with a bitter sigh. Trust me, you wanted to tell him in person, but you were just too scared… Plus, maybe you could play it off as someone pulling a prank on him if it went south.

Biting your lip, your fingers treated the quill as a brush, delicately running the ink dipped tip over the top of the paper, letting your heart control what words you wanted the ink to form.

Wilbur,

You don't realize how much you mean to me. Although we've been friends for only a year, I feel as though I've known you my entire life. My connection to you is already so deep, and my love for you is already so strong that I can't remember what my life was like before we met. Even more, I can't imagine my life without you now. I can't imagine the future without you, either.

You have saved my life several times already. You have even saved me from myself several times, too! I am so thankful for your guidance and care. Whenever I'm having a bad day, I know that I can just give you a call. I know I can depend on you and, with your help, everything will turn out well.

I want you to know how I really feel. It's time for you to know that I'm ready to admit how much I care for you, how much you mean to me. I know, this isn’t the best timing in our lives, but I trust it will get better through your leadership. I love you, Wilbur.

Please, don't ever forget how much I love you.

Love, (Y/n) (L/n)

Sighing, you put the quill into the inkpot and put your head in your bandaged hands. ‘This is going to work. It will work. Go on. Have faith in yourself, as Wil said…’ You took a few deep breaths and stood up, picking up the letter once it was dry and reading it over as many times as you physically could before your mind couldn’t handle it any longer.

Walking to the door, you cracked it open to search for any sign of your president, sighing again as you realized he was likely out helping gather resources. “Is… This enough?” You mumbled sadly as you stared down at the simple letter before looking at your Enderchest in thought. Surely you could give him a few emeralds or some gold… Yeah! That’s what you’d do! Smiling in victory, you quickly wandered over to the chest and opened it, digging through it for a few moments.

It was sort of empty…

You groaned as you remembered that you haven’t really been one of the miners or forgers for Pogtopia. Instead, you were one of the warriors, focused on protecting others instead of gathering supplies.

Going to shut the chest, you suddenly paused as you saw something colourful resting at the bottom. Pushing aside your old L’Manberg uniform, you gasped as you found your old painting of Wilbur from a few months ago. It was old, yes, and a little dusty but you were still proud of it even now! Perfect.

Pulling out the painting, you began to lightly brush the dust off of the picture, smiling at the splashes of paint and colour forming a picture. It was your magnum opus.

It was a painting of Wilbur holding up a massive L’Manberg flag against the sunlight with a wide smile and hope in his eyes… This was the day that L’Manberg won independence from DreamSMP…

Standing up again, you quickly hurried out the door and walked to Wilbur’s room, silently creaking open the door and looking around, even though you were well aware that he was gone for the day. You walked over to his desk and gently setting the painting down on top of the countless sheets of work, making sure not to mix up any of the papers, then putting your letter on top where he could see it before hurrying out before you could change your mind.

Thankfully you got out when you did because, by the time you pulled an already baked potato out of the furnace, Wilbur came down the stone stairs, looking extremely exhausted, “(Y/n), my artiste…” He murmured with a smile, “I’m glad to see you’re still up and going… I was worried we would have to make you a healing pot.”

“It’s not too bad… It’s mostly just my hands that hurt.” You chuckled and held up your shaking bandaged hands, “You want me to cook you up some potatoes and carrots? Or I could maybe try and get some steak cooked up before you go to work?”

Wilbur tried to smile a bit, deciding not to question why your hands were shaking so badly, taking everything out of his inventory and placing them in their designated chests. “No, no… It’s alright. I’m going to go get ready for Tubbo’s report… I’ll see you later tonight, okay?”

You gave him a small wave before Wilbur disappeared into his office. Taking a sharp intake of breath, you quickly followed after him and peeked through the tiny crack in the door where he didn’t close it all the way. He stood in his room silently for a moment before throwing his hat off at a wall, screaming into hands, muffling it heavily to the point where you wouldn’t have heard it if you were still near the furnaces. Wilbur threw off his jacket before plopping himself into his chair with his head in his hands for a few moments, then lifting it to stare at the painting that you had placed.

He was still for a long time, then he slowly picked up the note, his eyes softened slightly before his face broke out into a wide and genuinely happy smile before his mouth twitched and the smile began to fall, tears bubbling into his chocolate coloured eyes. Wilbur held the note up to his chest and slouched back against his chair, sobbing into his hand, whispering ‘I’m so sorry’ repeatedly.

Frowning, you realized that he physically couldn’t return your love because of the stress of caring for Pogtopia and trying to win back L’Manberg. With a sad smile, you stood up and walked to your room, putting your head down as you saw water droplets hit the stone below you, “It wasn’t a no…” You tried to tell yourself, ignoring the tears running from your eyes as you shut the door, sliding down to your knees.

The next few weeks after that were hell, the complete opposite of the Utopia that you were blinded by for the past month. Wilbur asked Techno to pick up your training, and he never even spoke to you about it again… It was the Piglin hybrid that awkwardly told you. During dinner, Wilbur would practically eat as little as possible as he ignored you, trying to make any situation where he would be in the same room as you as short as possible.

“Wil-...” You reached out to the president but watched as he only gave you the saddest gaze before walking past you as if he never saw you. But he would have no problems talking to Niki, or anyone else! It wasn’t fair!

Time ticked by in a haze of fog and you quickly watched the man you had once fallen in love with becoming a complete shadow of his former self… It was sickening… He… Lost it… His mind was becoming twisted… And all you could do was watch in horror…

You knew something was wrong when he crept away from the festival and the celebration… But you just decided that he was going to take a break from the excitement. He was quite old after all…

Then the ground shook with booming roars as TNT blew craters into the earth, sending debris scattering and people screaming, scattering for their lives. Gasps of terror escaped your lips as you realized the cause of it all… You hopped over gunpowder scented broken stone and batted the smoke away as you saw the final picture to paint the last stroke of horror in your heart.

There was a blond man with massive avian wings holding a diamond sword glimmering with enchantments as the brunet clung to his clothing, slowly sinking to his knees. With a sob of despair, you watched the man you once loved so dearly, get stabbed through the chest by his own father.

“WILBUR!” You shrieked, your ears ringing from the blast as you sunk to your knees, sobs racking your frame violently. Wilbur’s head lazily rolled to look in your direction…

And in his last dying breath… He smiled…

“That painting…” A light airy whisper echoed through the darkened stone halls of your home, “It’s familiar… Yet so foreign...”

You gave a hum as you hung your netherite armour on your stand before turning to stare at the spectral figure floating in your doorway, “Which painting, Ghostbur? There’s many… You have to elaborate.”

“Right! Because you’re an artiste!” The transparent male chirped happily, not seeming to notice your flinch, “I mean the one hanging above the fireplace, of Alivebur.”

“Right…” You nodded, following behind the eager sweater-wearing ghost down the eerie hallways and into the office, "I'm going to take it down... I think it's doing more harm than good..."

Ghostbur didn't seem to understand your reasoning, but he didn't say much, knowing that Alivebur hurt many people... But he didn't think he hurt you, "It's pretty though... But your art style has changed, in a good way though!" He smiled softly as you opened the large dark oak double doors.

You walked past your grand dark oak desk to stare at your former magnum opus, dangling above the unlit fireplace. "Hey, Bur, if you have a flint and steel, could you light the fire please?" You glanced over and watched him nod as he dug through his pockets. In the meantime, you climbed up onto the mantle and began to struggle to pull the canvas off the wall. With a bit of hassle, you managed to pull it down and toss it onto the ground before climbing down, just in time for your ghost friend to light the fire.

"Don't damage it, (N/n)! It's still really good!" Ghostbur scolded you with a pout once you hopped down and picked the canvas up, "And you used to be proud of it!"

"I'm not, don't fret too m-" You paused mid-sentence as you saw a letter tucked into the bottom corner of the back of the painting. Frowning in confusion, you slowly picked it up and turned it over into your hand, only to discover that it was addressed to you in fancy cursive, sealed with a light red and white wax seal, "What's this?"

He looked over at you and tilted his head, seeming almost as genuinely confused as you were. Ghostbur shrugged as you propped the painting up against the wall before sitting at your desk, using your letter opener for its purpose, "Love letter, perhaps?"

"I doubt it..." You mumbled softly as you carefully unfolded the paper, recognizing that it was probably a few years old, "Let's see... Who wrote this..." You hummed before beginning to read.

My darling artiste... I'm sure by the time you read this, I'm either dead or... Well, most likely dead, if all goes to plan...

I am writing this letter to you to let you know that life without you is not the same. Life without you is very sad and lonely. I have realised that it was you who keep me alive and cheerful.

I thought I would get used to your absence from my life, but every day has been harder when I think of all the good times we spent together.

There are so many things which I want to confess. It's killing me because I don't want you to go another day without knowing how I feel about you.

And I'm not able to tell you I'm in love with you.

What an idiot I am.

And for the past few days, I've been trying to figure out, why there aren't some words to describe it. I want to tell you exactly how I feel but there isn't a single goddamned word in the entire dictionary that can describe my love for you.

But I need that word. I need it because I want you to hear me say “I love You". I want to make the sweetest gestures in front of you which make you feel even more loved.

Trust me... I know... I act like an absolute ass towards you. I'm so scared of your life being in more danger than it was... I really did love you, and still do, but I didn't want it to hurt you more when I blow up L'Manberg...

Darling, I could have simply called you on your communicator and took you out on a surprise date but I couldn't have expressed my feelings. You have become an integral part of me. I want to give you all my love throughout my life.

The painting you made me is beautiful and I will cherish it for as long as I'm alive... It's a perfect picture of imperfection...

I Love You, (Y/n), even if by now you'll never love me back.

- Wilbur Soot

"That... That idiot..." You whispered, holding your head in your hands in an attempt to hide the tears from Ghostbur, "He planned blowing up L'Manberg from the beginning... That's why he refused to acknowledge me after I... He wanted me to hate him..."

Ghostbur held a bit of blue in his hands tightly, avoiding your gaze as you murmured to yourself, "Yeah... Most of my happiest memories involve you... That's why I couldn't understand when you said Aliverbur hated you..." He glanced away again as he saw you look at him.

"(Y/n)... Are you ever going to move out of Pogtopia?"

"Probably not for a long time, Ghostbur."

#pogtopia wilbur #pogtopia wilbur x reader #c!wilbur x reader #wilbur soot x reader #pogtopia wilbur soot x reader #dsmp x reader #dream smp #dreamsmp x reader #mcyt x reader #wilbur mcyt #villain wilbur #villain wilbur x reader

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expectingtofly · 3 years ago

Text

Painted Nails and Pride

1.7k

internalized homophobia, john being an a**hole, bisexual dean, found family, happy ending

written for day 7 of @spnprideweek

Music boomed from the park down the street and Dean tried to focus on the newspapers spread out before him, front pages covered with news about a bear attack at a campsite a few miles west. Not actually a bear attack, of course. From the tracks they’d seen when they hiked out there yesterday, Dad's money was on wendigo.

Cheering drew his eyes from the table where he, Sam, and Dad sat outside a restaurant to the people heading down the sidewalk towards the music. Banners on streetlights along the road proclaimed that today marked Roseville's 3rd Annual Pride Parade. His eyes snagged on a group of kids his own age standing on the street corner, hugging and talking excitedly. One boy had painted nails and wore a cropped shirt that exposed his midriff. As he talked with his friends, he looked around, and his eyes met Dean’s. He smiled at him, and Dean ducked his head, face burning.

An announcer’s voice echoed down the street. “Welcome to Pride,” the voice boomed. Dean folded and unfolded the corner of the newspaper, listening to the cheering, rotating the ring on his thumb around and around.

Dad snorted, and Dean glanced up at him. Arms crossed, leaning back in his chair, he watched the proceedings with a scowl on his face. Dean studied the newspapers more intently, underlining words just to look like he was doing something productive. Part of him wanted to go down to the parade, just to see what it was all about, but that was ridiculous. Only affirmed by a derogatory comment Dad made low under his breath about the people in the street.

“Yeah,” Dean agreed verbally, jostling his leg under the table. He glanced sideways at Sam, who was giving Dad a glare. Dean gave him a look that meant, don’t start, but Sam ignored him.

“Don’t say that,” he said, and Dean froze, eyes snapping to their father. Dad pulled his eyes from the street to Sam, giving him a long, steady look.

“What?” he asked after a long moment. “You one of them?”

Sam only held his gaze for a second before it seemed his courage failed. He ducked his head. “No,” he mumbled, kicking at the table leg.

Dad stared at him for another long moment, expressionless, before turning his journal around and dropping it in front of Sam. “Shut up and make yourself useful. Sooner we figure out what’s killing these folks, sooner we can get out of this goddamn town.”

He waved down the waitress for another drink, and Dean glared at Sam, who was absently thumbed through the journal pages. Returning to his own work, he snapped one newspaper closed and opened another, skimmed an article about the victim’s family. The words didn’t really make sense in his head, though, and too soon he found himself watching the people in the street again. The boy who’d smiled at him had disappeared, though, probably watching the parade.

Finding a one-off line in an article about rumors of a strange being haunting the woods, he circled it and handed the newspaper across the table.

“Nice work,” Dad said, taking the paper, but instead of the usual warmth from his praise, Dean only felt sick.

He felt about the same now, standing in Jody’s kitchen—off to the side so he wouldn’t be in the way during the frenzied preparations to attend the Sioux Falls Pride Parade. Music played from Patience’s phone, some song he recognized from Cas constantly turning the radio dial to the pop music station. Sam helped Kaia finish a sign decorated with the lesbian flag, and Eileen signed with Alex who was learning sign language in high school. Claire sat at the table painting Jack’s nails, who wriggled in his seat excitedly.

Catching Dean’s eyes, he held up the hand Claire had finished. “Dean, look!”

Dean forced a smile. “Looks good.”

“Stay still,” Claire ordered, frowning down at Jack’s hand as she painted his pinky.

This was a bad idea, Dean thought. Jody had invited them for the week, mentioning off-hand that Sioux Fall’s pride events were going on, and Dean had pushed aside the mild panic at that comment, told her they’d come visit. He didn’t know he’d be roped into joining everyone at Pride, but here he was, feeling out of place in the corner of the kitchen. Who knew how he’d feel standing at the parade.

“Want me to do yours?” Claire asked, and Dean snapped his attention back to her. She was holding a bottle of nail polish, others lined up next to her on the table, and he froze, realizing what she was suggesting.

His first instinct was to spit out, “I’m not one of those,” but guilt rushed through him for how harsh the words sounded in his head. Defensive words, unnecessary ones because there was no threat here. He didn't mean them anyway.

Swallowing them down, he glanced around the kitchen for rescue. Cas was helping Donna pack water bottles because “It’s gonna be hot out there,” but he must’ve felt Dean’s gaze because he looked over and gave him a reassuring smile. No judgement in his eyes, or Claire's either, for that matter. He had a feeling he wouldn't find any judgement in this kitchen, which should've been a relief, but he had a hard time trusting it.

“Come on, Dean,” Jack said. “We can match!”

You can do this, Dean told himself. It's just Pride, not an Apocalypse.

He tried to smile. “Sure,” he said, going to the table and sitting down, chest tight.

He chose the color blue because it felt less ostentatious than the pinks and lilacs Claire presented to him. Even so, the color looked strikingly bright in the sunlight as he stood along the street marked off for the parade, and he shoved his hands into his pockets.

“Hey,” Cas said, touching his shoulder. Dean tensed, then felt awful for his reaction, but Cas didn’t move away, only rubbed between his shoulder blades until Dean relaxed marginally. “You okay?”

Dean nodded. “Fine,” he managed. Cas gave him a small smile and leaned his head on Dean’s shoulder.

A float passed with people waving and dancing on top, a banner strung across the front declaring, “Protect Trans Kids.” Jack waved a rainbow flag around, cheering along with the crowd. Claire’s arm was wrapped around Kaia’s shoulders, a smile tugging at her mouth despite her attempts to look unbothered by the proceedings. Dean wished he could feel that nonchalant. Instead, he kept looking over his shoulder. He didn’t know exactly what threat he was looking for, but the press of the growing crowds and the heat and noise, the bright colors and waving flags everywhere he looked was making him nauseous.

Turning back to the parade, he met Sam’s eyes. “Never thought we’d both end up here, right?” Sam asked over the noise, attempting levity, and Dean wondered if he remembered sitting outside near a Pride parade, feeling so unsure. There were plenty of other instances to remember, plenty of times John made disparaging comments that Dean either pretended to not hear or agreed with out of a panic that if he wasn’t careful, they might be directed at him next.

“This is fun,” Sam commented, watching the parade, and Dean wished he could agree.

Easy for you to say, he thought. You have a girlfriend, people’ll assume you’re straight. But he felt bad for thinking it. He didn’t want Cas to move away from him—if anything, wanted him closer, wanted his arm around him. But he felt too tense to move.

A crowd of middle-aged people walked in the parade, t-shirts reading variations of MOM HUGS, DAD HUGS, GRANDPA HUGS. Dean watched as people stepped off the sidewalk and hugged the moms and dads, some crying as soon as arms wrapped around them.

Without his permission, he felt his own eyes growing teary and he ducked his head, scraped his heel on the sidewalk.

“Dammit,” Jody said. “Where can I get one of those t-shirts?”

“We gotta do that next year,” Donna decided, and Jack gave her a hug.

“You can hand out hugs without the t-shirt,” he told her, and she grinned.

“You’re right.” Lifting her arms, she announced, “Free hugs over here!” People around them laughed, and someone took her up on the offer, telling her, “You’ve got a lovely family.”

Donna beamed. “Why yes I do.” She pulled Claire into a half-hug that Claire resisted, protesting the whole time. “Come here, Sam,” she said, yanking Sam into a hug that he had to nearly fold himself in half for. Everyone else got their turn, then she turned to Dean, holding out her arms.

Dean stepped into it, wrapping his arms around her. A gentler hug, Donna rubbing his back. Dean sunk into the embrace, the chaos around him subsiding for a moment.

“We’re family now, right?” she asked, pulling away to meet his eyes, and Dean nodded. Smiling at him and patting his arm, she turned back to Jody, wrapping an arm around her.

It felt a little easier to breathe now, his chest not so tight. The crowds around them didn’t seem so threatening, just smiling people with their families like he was with his. Eileen cheered as a float passed with an Irish LGBTQ+ coalition, and Dean smiled, easier now, not forced.

Jody pulled Donna in for a kiss that turned into making out. Claire rolled her eyes. “Ew, guys, Gross.” Kaia elbowed her and Claire’s put-on air of displeasure broke into a grin as she elbowed her back. Cas nudged Dean with a small smile when a float of pink, purple, and blue streamers drove past. For a moment, Dean's chest seized, John's voice ringing in his head, but in all the noise around them, it quickly drowned out.

Pulling his hands from his pockets, he took Cas’ hand. Cas interlaced their fingers immediately, squeezing tightly, then lifted their hands and studied Dean’s nails. Dean had let Jack paint a smiley face on his pinky to match the one on Jack’s thumbs. Staring at them, he thought of a boy at Pride with painted nails, his own fears and wants tightening his chest, but then Cas looked up at him with a smile, and the memory faded into a warm glow.

“I like them,” Cas told him.

“Yeah," Dean said. "Me too.”

#spnprideweek #bluefirecas #seraphcastiel #rambleoncas #userstarry #userpris #destiel fic #pride #internalized homophobia #john's a+ parenting #established dean/cas #bisexual dean winchester #inspired by my first time at pride #:)#expectingtofly writes

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momtaku · 3 years ago

Note

I’m sorry if you’ve been asked something like this before, but what do you think about Marie? Personally, I think she was just a childhood crush of Ewin’s and nothing more. He did give her up to fight in the Survey Corps and then mention that he didn’t regret his decision, after all. He even helped Nile write love letters to her or something, right? My Eruri is being threatened and I need to know this lol, please help me!

I occasionally get asks that talk about Marie in an effort to "prove" that Erwin could never have feelings for anyone else or else that he is permanently and incurably straight.

I also get asks pointing out Erwin's flaws - his ruthlessness, his depression, his deceptions, the pursuit of his dream - as proof that he is canonically a horrible person and therefore unworthy of anyone's honest care or concern.

I recognize all of these types of asks as bait and unless I can use them as a leaping off point for something I want to talk about, I ignore them.

Your ask might be bait as well. So many these days start with "Hello fellow eruri!" in a pretense of trying to seem sincere. It makes me laugh a little. Do I seem that naive?

Regardless, I'm in a mood and I can use your ask to talk about something I want to. So thank you for that. Whether your ask was bait or not, I will answer your question sincerely.

Here is my advice to you, Anon. If the existence of a decades old crush "threatens your eruri" maybe you should stick with less nuanced characters and less realistic relationships. Read stories where people fit more neatly into boxes of good and bad. Because everything, all of this, just makes Erwin better. It makes him more realistic. More interesting. It makes him a complex person with the sort of issues that affect complex people. Like all of us he was a multidimensional mix of good and bad, of inconsistency and constancy, of sinner and sainthood. And I love that about him.

His realistic portrayal makes all of his relationships feel real and believable and messy and imperfect in the same way my own irl relationships are.

So yes. Erwin and Nile had teenage crushes on a girl named Marie. Erwin didn't act on it. He was self aware even at a young age to recognize that his dreams were more important to him than a traditional family. As a nice guy, he encouraged and helped Nile and Marie's relationship.

He genuinely cared about Nile and Marie. You mention the love letter smartpass but my favorite is the one that touched on his and Niles childhood games and how he used one of those games to surprise Nile and Marie with baby gifts and best wishes since because of a mission he'd be unable to do it in person. He realistically knew many of those going on the mission, including himself, who were friends with Nile might not return.

So we have Erwin caring deeply about his longtime friends. But we also have Erwin being manipulative as hell and using his friendship to further his cause. Erwin genuinely wanted to help Nile and Marie and the people of Paradis. He also very genuinely wanted the MPs on his side so he didn't end up swinging from the gallows. I have no issue with this at all. People are rarely 100% altruistic so if a character is they wouldn't interest me.

As an eruri, I love this detail about Marie. I love what it reveals about Erwin. It shows that he was focused even as a teen, that he genuinely loved his friends, and that he had emotions. It adds to my enjoyment of the series.

Nothing in the manga "threatens my eruri" because I don't view the relationship as a fairytale romance. I'm going to quote @lostcauses-noregrets here because she's the writer not me and she says it perfectly:

One of the reasons that I love Eruri is that it’s a deeply complex adult relationship. This is not a romantic infatuation, this is a relationship that has evolved over many years and it’s one that is founded on mutual trust, commitment and support. It’s not all plain sailing, adult relationships rarely are. Erwin’s behaviour clearly frustrates the hell out of Levi, but his trust in Erwin is unshakable, and you never question their commitment to each other.

And my favorite (and more colorful) lostcauses quote for people who don't see Levi and Erwin's canon relationship as special:

What the hell do they think a relationship looks like when you’re an exhausted 30 + year old war veteran who has spent their entire life fighting for survival. It looks like this; finding someone who you can trust with your life. If you were to ask me what characterizes a successful adult relationship I would say it’s exactly this; mutual trust, respect and understanding, and when push comes to shove, the willingness to do everything in your power to help the person you hold most dear, even if that means letting them go.

And my other favorite lostcauses contribution used without permission and not requiring any explanation:

Thanks for the ask!

#chatting with friends #eruri #I had a lot of feelings to get out this morning #ok?#thank you for giving me an ask to do that #writing is so much easier with a prompt #also lost <3333

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nsfwshiggy · 4 years ago

Text

tempo

_______________________________________________

paring: dabi x hawks x fem!reader

warnings: 18+, threesome, double penetration, absolutely railed into dumbification, giving/receiving head, anal, deepthroat/facefucking, unprotected vaginal sex, cumming inside

word count: 2.1k

author's note: i don't know what happened or how this happened.. hope you enjoy lol

*side note after finishing, i don't know if i like the way this one turned out?

_______________________________________________

usually you were very nitpicky with who you slept with but today you just didn't care about anything. the week barely just started and you were already counting down the days until you were freed by the weekend.

you didn't want to have sex with anyone you knew because there was no real thrill in doing that. you just didn't care about today let alone care about tomorrow's consequences. you had already put dating apps on your phone but never actually used them - they made you nervous.

you set up your account only adding two pictures, your face and one of lingerie you had just bought for the occasion. you had never planned on doing this again so why not make it special. you added a short and sweet bio:

looking for a simple one night stand. no feelings and no repercussions.

you left the app alone for a few hours because if this was actually going to happen you needed to get ready. you cleaned up your hotel room, you most definitely weren't giving out your real apartment address to some random person online so you got a hotel room, and put on fresh sheets right out of the package. you also took an extremely long shower, shaving this area and that area as well. you didn't care to put on makeup or do your hair either so you just didn't.

---

four hours had passed since you made your account and you were honestly excited to see what kind of people would be interested in doing something like this. of course there was people you considered creepy and you just simply passed from those. you scrolled and scrolled until one piqued your interest.

dabi. he was extremely attractive with a nice body full of tattoos. if you were to pass him on the street you would definitely ask for his number but since this was strictly a one night stand you decided to keep it just as is. you were already feeling quite cocky about this whole thing so you messaged him -

if you actually look like your pictures you should definitely come over

you two continued the conversation back and forth for about thirty minutes before you actually gave him the hotel address and room number. you were finally starting to get nervous because he said that he would bring a surprise but wouldn't elaborate anymore than that.

you needed something to calm yourself down so you decided to have a glass of wine but not too much because you still wanted to remember everything tomorrow. you were looking out the hotel window at the amazing view you had just for one night before you heard a knock on the door.

you slowly walked to the door and looked through the peephole, it was in fact that same guy you saw in the pictures which helped calm you down more. nothing looked suspicious so you opened the door smiling at him, "hi i'm glad you came" you say letting him in.

it was weird because he didn't have anything in this hands that could possibly be your surprise so you thought maybe he had just forgot. you had a robe on covering the lingerie that you had put as one of your pictures but before you could let the robe drop to the floor there was another knock on the door.

you looked at the man standing before you confused but all he was doing was smirking. you walk back over to the door and looked through the peephole once again but you saw nothing. you look back at dabi and told him no one was there. you opened the door to look around and when you turned your head to the left there he was.

leaning against the wall smoking a cigarette right under the no smoking sign. "i wasn't sure if i had the right room.." he tells you blowing out smoke "but now that i have seen you, i think i got it right."

"surprise!" you hear from dabi behind you. this was your surprise? you were so beyond confused. "what are you talking about?" you ask him while the unnamed man let himself into your hotel room without permission.

"you said before that this was going to be a one time thing so why not make it memorable?" he says to you laughing before walking over to you pulling you into a kiss. you didn't even try to push away, you just kissed him back. "you aren't even going to introduce us?" you hear the man behind you ask.

"oh shit sorry. this is hawks. he is a friend of mine and we are both here to fuck you" he says while dragging a finger down your body until he reached the place that was keeping your robe from opening. he gave no care to it and quickly pulled on it so that it would come open giving him a good look at your body.

the man behind you, hawks, pulled the robe off the rest of the way letting it fall to the floor. you could feel his hands touching your waist and then his lips on the back of your neck. "i mean why not?" you tell them because like you said before you didn't care what happened tonight.

you walked away from both of the men and got on the bed and used your finger to call them over to you. they both walked over to you and in the process they took off what they were wearing only leaving their boxers on. you could see the outline of both of their dicks which made your mouth water.

forgetting about how nervous you were before it was all excitement now. dabi walks over to you without getting on the bed and pulls down his boxers letting his erection slap against his stomach. you lean over to get in front of him and slowly lick up his shaft while looking up at him. hawks was now behind you on the bed rubbing your ass and sliding a finger down your clothed slit making you moan in the process.

hawks pulled down your panties letting them fall to your knees while beginning to lick your wet heat and inserting a single finger into the hole you weren't expecting him to. this caught you off guard while you already had your mouth around dabi so it made you gasp around him sending vibrations up his body.

"do that again hawks" he said while grabbing a fist full of your hair pushing your head down further around him almost reaching the base. hawks did what he was told like dabi was the one in charge and pushed his finger into your hole again but this time he pushed it in further. it was a sensation you had never felt before and you didn't know if you liked it or not because right now it hurt and the only thing you were feeling was a burning sensation.

dabi liked the feeling of being down your throat, he liked seeing the tears forming in your eyes while you looked up at him while he thrusted his hips making his cock go deeper and deeper each time. hawks spit on his fingers so this time when he inserted the second finger it would go in easier, "i have to get you ready for me" he says while kissing your ass. he knew it didn't feel good but it would eventually.

every time dabi would trust into your mouth it would push you back on to hawks' fingers making them go deeper touching the spongey place deep inside you. because he had been doing it for a little while now it was starting to feel good making you moan around dabi. "that's it baby girl" you hear one of them say, you couldn't tell who had said it but you didn't care.

you knew dabi was close to cumming when he fully pushed himself down your throat and held your head there making his cock twitch before hot seed was being pumped down your throat. dabi was moaning out cuss words while he still had his dick down your throat, you tried to swallow around him so you could breathe a little bit but it was no help. noticing you were almost out of breath completely dabi finally pulled out and tells you sorry while you tried to catch your breath again.

"you can't break her just yet" you hear hawks say chuckling at dabi. he had fully stretched you enough so that it would be easy for him to enter his dick later. you wiped your mouth from the spit that came out while dabi was face fucking you. you were already such a mess and this was only the beginning.

dabi lays down on the bed and tells you to ride him. you make your way over to him before you are pulled away by hawks. "i get to fuck her first. you already got to cum loser" he says pushing you over the side of the bed with your ass in the air. he lines himself up with your tight hole before pushing it in making you grip onto the bed sheets.

he can hear dabi speaking to him but because of the pain you couldn't make out what they were saying. hawks was slowly thrusting into you so you could get used to it first but then he heard you start to moan. he smiled and started to pick up his speed, just like dabi before he grabbed a fist full of your hair and pulled making your back arch forcing his cock deeper in you.

you had never done anal before but now you think it might be your new favorite thing. hawks slaps your ass with his other hand before letting go of your hair so he could grab onto your hips, his trust really starting to pick up now. you could feel his nails digging into your skin as you notice that dabi was watching you both while stroking himself.

hawks didn't want to finish just yet so he pulled out right before he did. because of the position you were just in your legs become a shaking mess making it hard for you to stand or even move. hawks picks you up and places you down on the mattress next to dabi, "let's fuck her at the same time" he says getting on the bed with the both of you.

dabi was already laying down and hawks got in front of him. dabi helped you get on top of him slowly entering himself into your wet cunt making you moan out loud because it had been awhile since you had sex and it felt so good to have something deep inside you. you thought you would cum just from this alone but before you could you felt yourself being pushed over so now you were chest to chest with dabi.

hawks inserted himself into you again but this time it went in way easier. the feeling of having both of them inside you was a feeling you had never felt before and you didn't want it to end. you could feel them rubbing against each other while still being inside you causing an amazing friction sensation. "fuck hawks she feels so good around my dick. she squeezing around me so hard" he says while grabbing onto your hips and trusting into you at the same time hawks was.

you had never had two guys at one time before but they were making you feel so good. you couldn't think of anything while you were being fucked by both men. your mouth had fallen open so now drool was coming out and landing on dabis stomach making a mess. "look at her dabi" hawks says while reaching around to squeeze your nipples making them hard, "she is going dumb around our cocks she can't even keep her mouth shut" he says making them both laugh

you were so close to finishing it but you didn't want it to end just yet so you continued to let them use your body and tried your best to not finish just yet. until they were cumming inside you filling up both of your holes, the warmth of their cum entering you made you finally reach your end making your eyes cross in the process. you were still a drooling and twitching mess when they finally both pulled out of you and left you laying on the bed.

"if you ever want to do this again" dabi says zipping up his jeans, "you know where to find me." you watch as both men walk out the door while you still try to catch your breath and calm down, you could feel their cum dripping out of you and onto the bed beneath you.

©️nsfwshiggy

#mha smut #bnha smut #boku no hero x reader #my hero academia smut #hawks x you #hawks x reader #dabi x hawks #dabi x you #dabi x y/n #hawks x dabi x reader #dabi smut #hawks smut

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juniorgman187 · 4 years ago

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Be Forever Young (Reid Fluff Fic)

Summary: After Penelope’s resignation from the BAU, she attempts to set up her tech protégé, Reader, with Reader’s intellectual match yet much older counterpart - Dr. Spencer Reid.

A/N: The POV switches between Reader and Spencer, just use context clues to detect who the narrator is. Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid Content Warning: 21 year age gap, headcannon proposal Playlist: Cloud 9 by Beach Bunny Word Count: 6.1k

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Prologue

Events like these weren’t exceedingly rare. They weren’t anything like Halley’s Comet, by any means, where it only happens once in your lifetime - if you’re lucky. But they weren’t exactly sunrises - something that you can count on occurring every day without fail.

The best celestial phenomenon I could compare it to are blue moons. Rare enough to still have an element of surprise when they came, but not so rare that I should never expect them.

These ‘blue moons’ are actually the events in which I meet an intellectual match.

It’s not too often that I find a mind quite like mine, so you’ll forgive me for the reaction it elicits to watch them transcend the physical level and connect with me on the psychological one. There’s only been a handful of people who’ve ever had the exact standard of aptitude to be permissible into this metaphysical world with me, but now - there’s a handful and one.

The newest addition to the list is her.

_ _ _

Getting a word in edgewise when it comes to a conversation with Penelope Garcia is nearly impossible. Getting a word in edgewise when it comes to a conversation with Penelope Garcia about Dr. Spencer Reid is impossible.

I couldn’t tell you when the first time she brought him up was, but I could probably tell you just how many times since then she’s mentioned him.

A trillion. At least.

For months on end, he was the only thing she would talk to me about. Morning, noon, and night. Every single day she’d gush about him with the same unrelenting zeal as she had the day before and the day before that. It was both scary and impressive how she never seemed to run out of good things to say about him.

“You would just die for his apartment. It’s got this super chic dark academia thingy going on. You’d be really into that,” she would say. Or something to that effect. I was never really listening.

Not that I wasn’t interested in learning about Dr. Reid - I was very interested in him.

As a superior.

I first learned of him when he taught my Psych 101 class. Freshman year me was simply enthralled with him as a speaker, probably due to the charm of his awkward humor. I found it eerily relatable and touching, in a way. That was probably my favorite class, minus the assholes who made it less than enjoyable at times. (That’s a story for later).

The next interaction I had with him happened not even a year later when he came back after temporarily teaching to sit in on a philosophy class. Even though he was only auditing the lecture, whereas I was enrolled in the course, he ended up sitting in the seat right beside me. Had he not been gifted with an eidetic memory - a fact I found out during one of my obsessive research sessions - I doubt he would’ve even remembered sitting next to me.

Our shared field of work helped to bring us back together repeatedly throughout college. I would run into him at seminars, workshops, once even at a library where we were both looking for the same book.

But for the most part, our relationship was parasocial. It largely consisted of me learning from him at a distance. I would use his brilliant research to support my own assignments, read the books he recommended, audit the classes he would teach.

Rather than accurately interpreting my very limited, very professional connection to Dr. Reid, Penelope was deliberately using it as ammunition for her arsenal of reasons why I should consider dating him.

“You guys are basically already friends, and nothing is cuter than the friends-to-lovers trope!” Now that she actually did say, and the only reason I remember it verbatim was it was so outrageous I couldn’t not remember it.

And probably because she just said it to me right now.

“We’re not friends! We’re ... acquaintances. Colleagues, if you will.” My attempts to gain distance from Penelope and this topic of conversation were crashing and burning. The more I tried to walk away from her, the faster she would chase me. It was inconceivable how she managed to do that and continue to pelt me with her perky persistence.

“Even better! You know I’m no stranger to workplace romances.”

That I did. One Derek Morgan or one Luke Alvez ring a bell?

“Dr. Reid and I don’t work together,” I reminded her, if only to burst her bubble of insanity.

“Exactly my point! If you two don’t work together, then there’s nothing keeping you apart.”

I was stopped dead in my tracks, almost causing Penelope to trip since she was right on my heels.

“Nothing? Really? Try 21 years.”

That surely kept us apart.

Our age gap was one of those glaring disparities Penelope couldn’t wave away with her magic wand. Frankly, it wasn’t an age gap so much as it was an age Grand Canyon. He was a whole person of legal drinking age older than me!

Hell - our age gap itself was older than me!

Maybe there weren’t any contracts or agreements or supervisors to keep us apart, but there was still one significant thing doing that.

Time. Arguably the most important thing you needed to get right for a relationship to work.

If there were any chance that he and I were good together, that was squandered by our divergence in age.

Right person, wrong time ... but wrong time by more than two decades.

I could see the smallest fragment of hope wither away in Garcia’s eyes, and it actually hurt to have known that I caused that. Her voice was more solemn when she said, “You don’t have to date him, I just want you to go on a date. Get to know each other better. Who knows? You might finally graduate from colleagues to BFF’s.”

Not that I was seriously considering the possibility of growing closer to Dr. Reid, but there was one question lingering in my mind.

“Does he even want to go on this date? Have you asked him how he feels about it?”

Part of why I was wondering was on the off chance that she’d tell me he had the same objections towards this that I did, which would be good news for me since it would mark my reluctance as a sound judgment. If there was anyone whose opinion was worth something, it was his, right? After all, he was the provable genius in the same compromising position as me.

“Trust me, he’s been dying to do this.” In spite of her preface to trust her, I didn’t. I couldn’t be sure if she was suggesting that he’d been dying to go on a date with me or if he’d been dying to go on a date in general.

No offense to him, but I guessed it was the latter, and if that was the case, he was only being a team player because she hadn’t told him it was me she was setting him up with. Already suspecting that I’d probe further to navigate through her vagueness, she cut in with one last Hail Mary. “One date! That’s all!”

Whether you believe me or not, 100% the only reason why I said what I said next was to put an end to this madness. “Fine. I’ll go.”

Maybe 99.99%.

_ _ _

I never knew how I could lose so much time. Sure, if anyone asked, I could probably account for everything I’d done in my day, second by second. But still, there was this cloudiness, a fog, inhabiting my brain, casting this haze on whatever else dwelled in my mind, too.

I couldn’t focus on anything for more than 4 seconds at a time, and while that wasn’t incredibly concerning for the average human, it was disconcerting for me.

What was going on?

What is going on?

“What’s going on?”

Suddenly, a hand began to wave in front of my face. “Yoo-hoo? Anybody in there?” JJ wondered aloud, causing me to realize it was her voice that asked the question from before.

“Yeah, sorry,” I shook my head to regain some clarity, but that did me no good. My foggy brain still remained. It goes without saying my words were worth nothing as well. JJ saw right through me in a way that never failed to scare me shitless. I could never conjure up a lie good enough to follow that look she’d give me. So I settled for the truth. The question that cast the haziness in my brain to begin with.

“What do you think about me dating again?”

If I thought that first look was bad, then the one she was giving me now was something of a nightmare. At least with the first, I knew what she was thinking. With this one, I hadn’t a clue.

To relieve us from some of the insufferable silence, I found myself speaking again in my defense. “Garcia mentioned something earlier about setting me up with someone and it got me thinking.”

Thinking about Max that is.

Being my most recent girlfriend, it made sense why she was freshest in my mind. That being said, we’ve been broken up for 14 months, which in any other context would seem like more than enough time to start dating again, but therein lies the catch.

We didn’t just break up. She said “no” when I asked her to marry me, which, if you ask me, is one hell of a way to break up.

So from that perspective, it obviously begs the question: is 14 months too fast to move on from something like that?

JJ sharply inhaled. “Well, are you ready to start dating again?”

I still didn’t have an answer for that myself. “I don’t know. There isn’t exactly a rulebook on how long you have to wait until it’s socially acceptable-”

“Lemme stop you right there, Spence,” She placed her hand on top of mine. “You can’t just do whatever statistics or studies or science say is right all the time. You not only need to be more in tune with your own needs but accepting of them, too. Screw what anyone else has to say about you dating again - including Socrates, including Einstein, including Aristotle ... including me. Do whatever you think is acceptable by your standards - not society’s. Do what you wanna do and I’ll support that.”

There was something special about having JJ’s approval. It was like getting permission to be excited, something I didn’t know I needed or wanted.

“I’m ready.”

Born ready, as Penelope herself would say.

_ _ _

I was starting to get suspicious that maybe I had an invisible string attached to me and on the other end of that string was Penelope. It was the only explanation as to how she managed to trail behind me at an isochronal pace. Perfectly equidistant, perfectly equal intervals of time. Must’ve been some form of magic that she was able to synchronize that connection for as long as she did as we pranced around the office, basically chasing me.

“Okay, I know the date isn’t until Saturday, but I really think we need to amp up your wardrobe choices ... like stat.”

Hearing that I was seeing my superior still didn’t settle well with me. I don’t think I could ever get used to the thought.

I should’ve been offended at her suggestion to change my clothing taste as it implied my stylistic choices weren’t up to par, but a part of me, a very small part of me, knew she was right. And just because I wasn’t keen on the idea of going on a date with Spencer didn’t mean I didn’t want to look nice for him for it.

“I’m assuming you’ve got some ideas in mind,” I said in a teasing voice, knowing that’s precisely why she brought it up.

“See! You are a genius! Exactly why you and Spencer are meant to be together!” Her exclamation was just as loud as it was outlandish.

“Alright, calm down sparky,” I shot a warning look. “It’s just one date - we’re not soulmates.”

Then, talking in the quietest voice I didn’t think Penelope was capable of speaking with, she said, “Not yet.”

I knew the minute I showed even the littlest bit of interest in Penelope’s fashion guidance, I’d end up draped in ruffles, sequins, glitter, tulle, rhinestones, or all of the above. Nothing again Penelope’s personal style - it’s just not mine.

I was scared to ask, but I had to know. “So what were you thinking?”

Before my very eyes, Penelope’s constantly-there smile transformed, something akin to the mischievous grin of the Cheshire Cat. “I was thinking …”

In a Mary Poppins-esque fashion, Penelope produced a dress that in no feasible reality should have been able to fit within that little Hello Kitty side bag.

I suppose it must’ve been absolutely backbreaking for Penelope to refrain from choosing a multicolor or at least pattern-riddled dress, so as compensation for the fact that it was only one singular color throughout, it had to be a bold one.

Red.

“Not too shabby, right?” Her eyebrows jumped on her forehead, knowing she’d made a good choice.

And a part of me actually died saying this, but it was pretty perfect.

_ _ _

My life didn’t flash before my eyes, per se, the moment I finally arrived at the delicatessen. It was more like a very specific, singular memory had flashed before my eyes.

That story for later? This is the one.

Psych 101 was my best class in Freshman year ... by a long shot. Come rain, wind, or snow, I was always excited to go. It was a standout course on its own, but not because it was terribly spectacular or the most fascinating subject in the world, but more so because of how it changed my own person. It challenged me, like all worthwhile things do.

There were more judgmental meatheads - boys, if you will - than not, who would jump down my throat for being a smart ass or a teacher’s pet if I so much as answered one of Dr. Reid’s questions. Par for the course, really.

As a result, I had a proclivity to avoid raising my hand. It wasn’t that I was hyper-fixated on managing my reputation, just that participating wasn’t worth the eventual harassment from my dimwitted classmates.

Nonetheless, one day, I felt compelled to answer Dr. Reid when he asked what our thoughts were about the sampled, pretense manifesto.

No one else was jumping at the chance to speak, perhaps they were just as cowardly as I was, and it was clear that he was going to stand there waiting until someone finally would. The silence was painfully awkward for everyone and so I felt obligated, as a student who was actually enrolled in the class for credit and not just to audit like 90% of the other girls here, to break it.

Slowly, ever so slowly, my hand hesitantly inched up into the air until it floated just high enough above the student in front of me’s head. As soon as I knew he saw it, I let it plunge straight back down.

“Yes, Ms. (y/l/n)?”

I could already feel the dirty looks and snide comments coming before I even said a word.

“I know we’re all collectively referring to this unsub as a man, and while that might just be a general assumption or Freudian slip perhaps ... I think the language is steeped in betrayal and contempt. And it would be ignorant not to notice how it reads more like the wrath of a woman scorned than your typical jilted male lover.”

“Lover?” Someone two rows back snickered quietly, clearly to mock my choice of words. I didn’t even have to look to know it was Brad who had said that. Nevertheless, Dr. Reid was impressed with my answer. His lips curved into the faintest smile as he nodded his head. If he had heard the commentary of one Brad Sterling, he made no visceral reaction to it.

With an extended hand, palm facing up, he gestured for me to, “Please. Stand up.”

I fumbled my way up and out of my seat to possibly delay the shit I’d get for this mere action.

“That, ladies and gentleman, is what it looks like to have courage,” He underlined his words with a grand flourish of his hand in my direction. “Putting yourself on the line even in the event you’ll be mocked and ridiculed or deemed wrong. That’s something you’ll need if you are seriously considering being part of the BAU, or the FBI at any capacity.”

My face was flushed from the acclaim he was showering me with. Suddenly, I was glad I volunteered.

Taking me completely by surprise, Dr. Reid wasn’t done yet.

“So, Mr. Sterling,” He began, directly calling out the boy in the back who without a doubt made the remark. I wouldn’t have had any reason to believe he heard it since his attention never diverted away from me long enough to catch the comment, much less the culprit. I wonder if he’d heard all the times Brad made jokes at my expense. Was he finally at his wits end with the sarcasm? “Make fun all you want, but might I suggest that if you like a girl, you do the opposite of that.”

His sickly sweet drawl was followed by a short wink at me as if to say ‘I have your back’, and I was lucky to have already been in the process of sitting back down because my knees would’ve given out underneath me from the sheer exhilaration of his praise.

The thought never once crossed my mind that Brad was so fixated on me because he had a crush, but it all made sense once it did. And if I didn’t know any better, Dr. Reid only humiliated him and brought it up because the realization dawned on him, too.

Was it possible that Dr. Reid was ... jealous?

In the spirit of complete transparency, that suspicion may have lit the tiniest wildfire imaginable in my chest. A wildfire that, even now, has yet to extinguish. Perhaps that little flame is the 0.01% of the reason I said yes. I could only imagine what kind of omnipotence it would soon gain if this date went well.

If he could light such an enduring kindle with simple praise, think about what would happen if he smiled at me. If he laughed at my jokes. If he held my hand.

If he kissed me.

Dr. Reid’s validation would be something I actively sought from all walks of life, I knew that much. What I didn’t know was how far that desire would take me.

I would have never guessed it would lead me here.

Standing in front of a fancy restaurant in a pretty red dress with the tenuous hope that the professor inside might just like it so much that he’ll end up liking the girl wearing it, too.

_ _ _

No matter how many times I adjusted the bouquet of poppies, they sat perpetually crooked on the table. Much like the dark gray tie around my neck that tightened around my throat with every passing second. I had to keep messing with it to loosen the noose-like grip it had on me. Who knew if it actually was becoming more restricting or it was the flourishing bundle of nerves in my stomach that made it harder to breathe.

I was never very good at lying in wait patiently. Especially if I was expecting something. Now that I was expecting someone? I could say with perfect clarity - I was not good at waiting.

I don’t wanna seem the way I do

Every time the door opened, my eyes flashed to it instantaneously. And every time it wasn’t her, a little part of me was disappointed. It was still too early to say for certain that she was standing me up, but my mind was doing what it did best. It wandered. There was nothing else to do after all.

Except maybe adjust those blood orange poppies one more time.

I’d picked them out specifically because Penelope slipped in a not-so-subtle comment about her dress being “a perfect match to the color of papaverales” - her words exactly. I thought if she went through that much trouble to find a color coordinated plant and say the scientific name for me to decode, it was worth picking up a bouquet of them on the way.

It was only the most ironic occurrence in the world that when I went to rearrange them one last time, I devoted my full attention to the action, missing the very moment I was on the lookout for the past hour and a half.

I didn’t even see her until the red poppies camouflaged into the identically colored setting of her dress.

Then there she was.

All the disappointment in the world was worth that first time I saw her with fresh eyes.

I was dumbstruck for a moment, long enough that it warranted an apology for not standing up sooner.

“(Y/n)! Hi!” I accidentally squealed. I couldn’t control myself, let alone control the pitch of my voice apparently.

I could see, in her, youthful naivete where, in others, I saw their age. She paradoxically had not aged a minute, and yet a new womanhood was piercing through her ultimately adolescent appearance.

“Hi, Dr. Reid,” She said through a laugh and a smile, shaking my hand politely and professionally. She was greeting me like I was still her professor and she’d just happen to run into me on an errand. Next, she’d be attempting small-talk for as long as it took for me to let her go.

Unfortunately for her, I had no plans for that.

But I’m confident when I’m with you

“Please, it’s just Spencer,” I reminded her, hoping to break down that governing image of me she surely maintained.

“Spencer,” She tried again; doing it more to be obedient to my instruction than to satisfy her own desire. It sounded so unnatural to her, just as it did to me. I found it adorable, actually. It seemed like she was breaking this unspoken, and very much illusionary rule to say my first name. “It’s nice to see you again,” She added after I pulled out her chair for her.

“Is it?” I asked when I rounded the table to get to my seat. “I get the feeling you’re a little disappointed.” The only reason I pointed it out was that it was true, not just that I’d observed the notion grow more poignant in her face for the past minute.

“Not at all,” She shook her head, which luckily for me, drew a line of congruence between her body language and verbal language. At least, she was being truthful. “It’s just that I’m sort of embarrassed.”

“Embarrassed?” I repeated in astonishment, unable to cultivate a list of reasons that would justify her feeling that way. I couldn’t think of a single thing I’d done to provoke that emotion, and it nearly broke me to consider her internal being substantiating it.

“Embarrassed isn’t the right word, but I can’t find a more accurate one for what I’m feeling,” She shied away from my eyes when she lowered her head as she spoke.

“You could try to explain it to me?” I offered gently. It took an overwhelming amount of self-restraint to not offer my hand with it. It would’ve been so easy to slide my hand across the threshold to enter her territory of the table, but who knows if doing so would just make her that much more uncomfortable.

“Well for one thing, I don't really go on dates,” From this alone, I could already relate to her enough to laugh at the fact. “Don’t laugh at me! You know how dangerous first dates can be,” She swatted her hand in my direction to chastise me.

“I do! I do! I think it’s really good that you’re protecting yourself to the point of avoiding dates,” I was teasing the implication that she wasn’t asked to go on very many, which was thankfully delivered well enough to make her laugh again.

“Hey! Many people have wanted to go on dates with me, thank you very much. You included.”

“Me included.” I nodded in approval. We sat in a short period of silence while we exchanged one soulful glance, borne from the insinuation of what I just said.

“And for another ... I respect you too much as a figure of authority to see you in that way.”

_ _ _

“In what way?”

Rather than tossing me a lifeline, he was feeding me to the sharks. Forcing me to dive into the deep end. He wanted to see me struggle to stay afloat in the sea of his sticky toffee eyes. He knew I'd get suspended in them when he gave me that look. How much I’d be willing to get lost in them just so I could wander in the depths of his honeyed orbs for a little bit longer.

That look ...

“You don’t find it weird?” This was the most honesty I could’ve demonstrated.

“Find what weird?” For someone with such a high IQ, you’d think he’d be quicker on his feet.

“This! You - me. On a date!” I gestured to the space between us. “You’re ... well frankly, Spencer, you’re old enough to be my father.”

“Does that make you uncomfortable?” He genuinely cared about the answer.

“Only in theory. Not in actual life,” was the most precise response I could give.

“So what is making you uncomfortable?” Again, I could tell my answer mattered to him.

“You were my professor once, and now I’m just supposed to go on a date with you and see you as my equal when I’ve spent the entire time I’ve known you, putting you on a pedestal? Do you know how much pressure that puts on me? To be perfect?”

“Who says you have to be perfect? Who says you’re aren’t already?”

That one caught me off guard. I had to gulp down the lump of shock.

“You think I’m perfect?”

“That, or you’re pretty close to it.”

Lately all I feel is bad and bruised

I could’ve smiled, I could’ve thanked him, I could’ve fallen at his feet and thrown my dignity down there along with it, but I just laughed. I laughed.

“That’s ridiculous! You barely know me.”

“You’re wrong,” He simply replied with a firm shake of his head and a cavalier sip at his drink. It showed just how confident he was in his answer. How cocky he was.

“How am I wrong?”

He cleared his throat as though he were preparing to deliver the world’s greatest speech. Then, he leaned forward, motioning with his fingers for me to do the same.

“If I’m remembering correctly, which you know I am, you were the student who had the gall to raise your hand and correct me on my gender identification of the unsub, right?”

The second the sentimental thought, ‘aww he remembered’, came into my head, it was soon followed by, of course, he did, idiot. Eidetic memory, remember?

Tired of tripping on my shoes

“What does that have to do with me being perfect? Or so you claim?”

He was piercing deep into my eyes now, his gaze overwhelming my senses and sending shockwaves akin to the feeling of butterflies everywhere … and I mean everywhere.

“Bravery is the audacity to be unhindered by failures, and to walk with freedom, strength, and hope, in the face of things unknown.”

I recognized the quote as one of Morgan Harper Nichols, but the words went right to my chest like they were his own.

That damn wildfire just got a whole lot bigger.

“I’ve always thought about how if I could be unfazed by failure or even just the prospect of it, if I could just be strong enough or have enough hope to face what I couldn’t predict, I’d be set. I’d be golden,” He paused. “I’d be perfect ... but you? You, little one, have already got that figured out. So whether that means you’re perfect on your own because of your bravery or you're a perfect match for someone fainthearted like me, is up for you to decide. Whichever interpretation of being perfect you choose would be correct, but you should know - I meant both either way.”

But when he loves me I feel like I’m floating

When he calls me pretty, I feel like somebody

Even when we fade eventually to nothing

You will always be my favorite form of loving

“Do you want to get out of here?” He asked when he finally refound his voice.

“Since the minute I walked in.” I replied after refinding mine.

_ _ _

“You always take girls to your apartment on the first date, Doctor?” Asking this in the name of taking a jab at him was the most clever way I could think to conceal my underlying motive of trying to gauge how giddy I could let myself feel about the fact that he’d taken me to his ‘super chic dark academia’ themed residence - Penelope’s words, remember?

“Well, in my abundant dating history,” He sarcastically began, “I can’t say I ever have, no. You’d be the first.”

That shot another quick bolt of lightning to the wildfire in my heart that I’m ashamed to admit made the heat reinvigorate. The flame must’ve been too much for my chest to contain so it had to relocate to my face, where my cheeks were left to burn under his gaze and thanks to his admission.

I was the first.

He must’ve seen the glint localizing on my countenance and decided to speak on it. “Why does that amuse you?”

“I don’t know,” I dumbly but truthfully replied. He didn’t need any more information to get his answer, though. Because even if I didn’t know what amused me about being his first, I never denied that it did, and that was more than enough confirmation for him.

“You promise to be here when I come back?” He wagged a cautionary finger at me like it might persuade me to stay and hold me accountable if I didn’t.

Spencer needed to go into his room to collect an item that ‘shall not be named’ but was apparently essential for our super secret plans tonight (secret to even me) and he was leaving me in the living room while he did so. I guess being the initial girl he took home on a first date was okay, but being the initial girl he took into his bedroom on a first date was crossing a line.

That was alright with me, though. I was in this for the long haul.

“I promise I pose no flight risk, Your Honor,” I taunted with a coy tone. “But I can’t promise I won’t snoop around some.” Hey, at least I was telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

“Snoop around all you want,” He laughed ruefully, demonstrating an openness I quite envied and admired. “You’ll probably learn a lot about me that way. And you won’t even have to talk to me to do that!” I knew he was only saying that out of self-deprecating tendencies he harbored, but I couldn’t help feeling that a small part of him actually believed that I wasn’t interested in talking to him.

“Spencer, you know I do like talking to you right?” I caught him just before he ran into his room. Already halfway in the door, I could still catch the megawatt smile on his face.

“So stay then,” His smile grew impossibly bigger. “We can talk all you want when I get back.”

The door closed, and then suddenly reopened to let just his face through, a face that said, ‘Don’t go anywhere.’

After a few minutes of loudly sorting through his room, I heard the sanctimonious cry of victory. “Found it!”

I could hear the little pad of his feet and he happily trotted out of the room. “Ta-da! My stargazing kit.” He said it as though he were introducing the basket he was holding to me, and me to it. Like it was a real person he wanted me to know. I almost felt obliged to say, ‘Hi stargazing kit! It’s so nice to meet you. I’m (y/n)!’

“Let’s go,” He smiled, reaching for my hand.

I unabashedly took it, because although it meant that I was truly leaving his apartment, I had a very strong feeling that I would be back here again one day.

_ _ _

We were lying there on this big quilted comforter that was stashed away in that stargazing kit of his, staring up at the sky, drunk on the sound of our occasional fits of laughter.

“It’s Earth Day, you know that?” I wondered aloud in a state of complete euphoria.

“I actually did,” He said through a sheepish laugh, almost as if he was admitting the knowledge of it against his own will to protect my fragility.

From out of nowhere, there was a small tug on the skirt of my dress. I looked down to find Spencer’s hand there, playing with the fabric until it lay perfectly on my leg.

I coughed to possibly relieve the tension brewing in my loins. “So then you know the Lyrid meteor shower is tonight,” I moved the tiniest bit closer to lean into his touch.

“At exactly 4:33 a.m,” He moved too.

“Is that why you brought me here? To watch the shooting stars? To make a wish?” I thought for a second that I would appear exceedingly childish - more so than I already did being 21 years his junior. But he didn’t judge me at all for the kid-like notion of making a wish on a shooting star or the implication that I still believed in those things.

In fact, I piqued his curiosity, telling by the way he moved only his head to the side to watch my reaction. “Say I did. What would you wish for?”

In the throws of dreamy elation, I softly murmured the only honest answer. “To be older. But not the unfulfilling 9 to 5, loveless marriage, ‘I do my taxes for fun’ older. I want to be old in the ways that the stars and the sky are old. I want to be infinite.”

“...To be infinite.” He whispered my wish back, sounding sort of in awe of me.

Just then, the overhead horizon grew larger. With no buildings or people to block the view, it was just us, the stars, and the sky. I could actually feel that I was lying on a planet. It was so wide. So infinite.

“Can I hold your hand?” I asked softly, in a manner so vulnerable it scared me.

Without any words or hesitation, he put my hand in his.

“The universe seems so big right now. I just needed something to hold onto.” I explained quietly, practically with the hopes that he wouldn’t hear me. But he heard.

“I’m here.”

We didn’t know what was ahead of us then. We were just two people, looking up at the sky on a cold February night. We weren’t divided by power, or age, or space. We were ourselves and no one else.

My eyes fluttered shut again and a smile stretched across my face. “Stargazing was a good idea.”

The world and the sky and the stars and I - we were all infinite. I couldn’t have felt bigger in my own body. In the best way possible, I was taking up so much space. I was occupying the earth. I was made up of matter. I mattered.

Just as I began to open my eyes, I caught a glimpse of a fading shooting star. Though I had wished to be older, I still felt like a child. Then it hit me. I didn’t feel older because I wasn’t older.

I was infinite.

Yes, I was a child, but not in the pinch your cheeks, bottles and pacifiers, babyish way. I was a child in the ‘you have a life full of possibilities ahead of you’ way.

You are young. He tells me with his eyes. And that is a good thing. Be forever young.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

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