#those are teris thoughts today

[harry-sussex]

This was, no joke, the best moment of my entire life. I have been waiting so long for this. I never thought it would happen.

I had originally planned to volunteer with the UK branch of my job today, but when I saw the announcement, I knew I had to do this instead. I decided to get dinner at the pub, Dog and Duck, last night to look inside and try it out - I got bangers and mash and some fish (sans chips) as an appetizer, and it was legitimately so good. I also tried the Timothy Taylor’s Landlord Beer – you can see William in the photos from today right behind the tap. My server’s name was Bernie, and you can see her in some photos with William and Kate today too – tiny woman, short gray hair cut into a bob.

I set earlier alarms this morning but due to the time difference / jet lag, I didn’t make it here until 10am. I popped into a Tesco Express on the way to grab some flowers at @avidroyalfan’s advice – yellow of course, the brightest bunch I could find.

I made it over to the area around the pub and there were barricades and policemen everywhere. There was also a black Range Rover parked at the far end of Frith Street – the street they mentioned in the press release yesterday. It thought it was mildly crowded when I got there, but it didn’t even begin to compare to the crowd that had gathered closer to their arrival.

I really had trouble picking where I was going to stand – I didn’t want to be behind anyone, I just wanted to be up against the barricade, but given that the crowd was so relatively sparse on Frith Street (as opposed to right across from the pub on Dean Street) when I got there, I wasn’t sure they were going to come my way. I was also praying that I’d be on Kate’s side of the road if they came by – you guys know I love William, but if I had a chance, this once in a lifetime chance, I needed Kate. I went with my gut, a little further down the road than where the crowd at the time had started to assemble, so I could be right against the barricades. From the moment I got to the barricade, I was literally shaking, and I am not exaggerating – you can see it in one of the videos.

I passed the time talking to some lovely people – some of whom planned to be there and some of whom happened to stroll by. I met a lovely woman, Cath, who took tons of photos without me even asking – she just saw how excited I was and took the photos to send to me. Another woman named Teri did the same – just out of the kindness of their own hearts. Those are most of the photos you guys are going to see – I took a bunch while Kate was walking around, but I didn’t want to put my own camera in her face if she was standing right in front of me.

I stood for more than four hours start to finish and I do not regret it in the slightest. I thought a lot about what I was going to say to her if I had the chance – I’ve thought about it so many times over the years, but what could I really say that would summarize more than 10 years of pure admiration and adoration in 30 seconds or less? What could I – an American in London all the way from New York – possibly say to the UK’s next queen to tell her how much she’s meant to me for all these years?

There was a policeman right in front of me – his name was Thompson – who was subtly dropping hints about what was going on. He couldn’t say much but he did hint at the time we could expect them to arrive – about 12:45pm. He ended up pretty close – he told me that he got randomly assigned to the event today and that he (and basically the entire police force) would also be at the coronation. He also confirmed that they would be walking down Frith Street, where I was, though he wouldn’t hint at which of them was going to be on my side of the street.

By the time they arrived, the crowd had literally quadrupled – maybe even more. People were on the rooftops and hanging out of windows. Very few of them had flowers. Businesses let people go on their steps to get a closer view. A helicopter was circling above for security. There were policemen and RPOs everywhere. I thought William and Kate were going to drive right up to the pub but instead they walked from the far end of the street – I suppose because they took the tube. Speaking of the tube, that’s the exact line I took this morning. That’s also where the (absolutely enormous) press pack was assembled.

I could tell when they arrived, even though I couldn’t see them right away, because the roar of the crowd and the sound of dozens of cameras clicking said everything I needed to know. As I was a bit further down the street, I didn’t get the greatest view, but it didn’t matter – you could see Kate from a mile away. That jacket was bright in and of itself but she literally glows. There’s just an inherent radiance about her that cannot be explained unless you see it in real life – she’s ethereal in photos, but they don’t even begin to do her justice. She’s radiant. Also, you can see that her hair is perfect no matter how far away you are. As they turned the corner to get to the pub, I was able to crane my neck a little bit to see them get closer to the door, and I saw The Hand with my own two eyes. William placed his hand on Kate’s lower back to guide her inside – we’ve seen photos millions of times, but seeing it with my own two eyes was unreal. Completely surreal.

They spent far less time inside the pub than I would’ve thought (unless time was flying because I knew they were coming), but again, you could hear them come out the door just by virtue of the roar of the crowd. Thompson the policeman then told me that Kate was coming to my side of the street. I thought I was shaking before – nope, not even remotely compared to how I was when I heard that she was coming my way. I saw William first across the street – he went through relatively quickly but I could somewhat hear him saying “nice to meet you” over and over, shaking hands, laughing, the usual. He’s huge – I always knew he was tall but he’s massive, tall and broad. You could tell from twenty feet away - he’s huge. At one point, I literally blurted out “he’s not wearing blue!” once I saw the brown coat. He was on the side of the road that had more people, and he moved along at a solid pace - it’s definitely true that Kate is a chatter, no wonder they gave her the side of the street with fewer people. She would’ve been outside for 3 hours if she was greeting the amount of people on William’s side. He’s honestly such a good sport – he was shaking hands, standing on his tip toes and craning over the barricades to greet as many people as possible. I could very clearly see the faces of the people looking directly at him – you can tell they absolutely love him. Such genuine smiles. The pure adoration and happiness in their eyes said everything one needs to know – those people absolutely love him like their own.

When Kate turned the corner from the pub towards where I was standing, I swear to god my heart jumped right into my throat and my stomach dropped. God, she’s beautiful. Like I knew this, it isn’t news, the entire world is perfectly aware that she’s one of the most beautiful women on the face of the earth…. but she still managed to stun me anyway. She’s radiant. Absolutely gorgeous.

Somewhere along the way, as she moved down the line of people in my direction, it occurred to me that I was legitimately going to meet, or at the very least greet, Her Royal Highness The Princess of Wales, after all this time, after so many years… I am not exaggerating when I say I was physically shaking. You can see it on my face in the photos even as she approached, before she came near me – I wasn’t panicking, I was just in awe. I’ve always known she was real of course, but she’s… actually real? Do you know what I mean?

She was moving so slowly compared to William – I swear he was already 75% of the way through his side of the crowd by the time Kate got to me. That’s when I really noticed that she is just so chatty – I didn’t notice her just greeting someone and then moving on quickly. She was so engaged. Every single person I could see was like entranced by her very presence - she’s literally such a vision. It’s not just me, it’s not just us – people are completely fascinated by her.

And then.

She came closer and closer – as I was on her left, I could see the ring. It’s huge – like, it’s big on camera, but the thing is enormous. I could not believe for the life of me that she was right there. I made sure to stick the flowers out enough and stand up straight and believe me when I say I didn’t have to remind myself to smile or make eye contact – I could literally feel myself beaming (right before she got to me):

When she came over, I couldn’t believe my eyes. Before I knew it, Kate was reaching to shake my hand and saying “nice to meet you” and I literally still cannot believe it. I handed over the flowers and I said to her:

“It’s nice to meet you, I just wanted to tell you that I have admired you for so long and that I also studied Italian Renaissance art history just like you did.”

When I said that I admired her, she said “oh, thank you!” as I continued to ramble about the art. She was still holding the flowers. I cannot believe that there are so many pictures of Her Royal Highness The Princess of Wales holding bright yellow flowers that I got for her while smiling ear to ear – she handed them off before she moved onto the next person, so she is definitely smiling at me in those photos.

She then asked me if I liked studying art, and I said of course – she responded “me too!” After that, she asked me if I used it in my career, and I said no (which I don’t) but my master’s was a passion project. She then asked where I flew from (the accent, I guess) and I told her that I came from New York. She said that it was such a long way to come and that she was surprised at how many people have traveled so far for the big weekend. She touched my arm so sweetly for like the quickest second; she then said that it was going to be such a big event and that she was looking forward to joining the celebrations and that it was going to be good for everyone.

The last thing I said to her was “also, I ate in the pub last night because I heard you were coming!” and she responded with “oh that’s great, how was the food?” It was legitimately fantastic – I told her so – and she said that they would have to come back and try it when there were fewer people around.

It was then time for her to get moving so I just said “it was so nice to meet you” again and she said “nice to meet you, have a nice day!” Right before she moved on and as she was saying goodbye, she handed off the flowers and went on her way.

The whole thing lasted maybe two minutes, but I will remember it for the rest of my life. Her eyes are so green and she’s just so stunning up close and I just cannot believe she was that close to me and that we were able to talk and she is everything I have ever dreamed she would be and more. Just so sweet and gorgeous and engaged in what we were talking about – she didn’t just say “hi” and “bye,” you know? She listened to what I said and responded back without generalities… everything I ever dreamed of and more. I thought I couldn’t love her more – I do now. She has made my entire day and my entire life and I will literally never forget the vision of Her Royal Highness The Princess of Wales, Catherine Elizabeth, someone I have adored for more than a decade, standing in front of me.

I am so happy I could cry. I was stunned after - literally could not believe what just happened to me. Take a look at the video below - you can see part of our conversation and then just the pure shock at the end. My hands were literally shaking.

Once the shock wore off, I did in fact cry. They say never to meet your heroes – why not? How could you go wrong meeting someone you have idolized when that someone is Kate?

[boxwinebaddie]

uncle neen!!! welcome back omg i was so sad to see u disappear </3 hyh !!! i had a question i asked last time but i was wondering since ur rewriting ur fics, are u planning on posting them on tumblr? or on ao3? pls be kind to urself too<33

good MORNING, lovie!!!!~ <3 c':

( or whatever time it is, where you are at the moment! )

i'm very excited to announce that you are my very FIRST new ask message on my brand new blog!

( teri is my first follower; ly ter. <33 o//3//o )

***long overdue UN ramble-bramble under the cut. xx

i /do/ miss my six hundred bajillion ask memes and am mourning the loss of all my online creations and great joys as a deranged southpark fanfiction author and the legacy i built with my tiny, gay weird hands

( i will go into it another time, but i had a very, very frightening bipolar episode surrounding my blog and my role on here as a writer, friend and mentor to you all, deleted all my things in a horrible panic, was able to recover them...but in the -- what i hope is the *very last* -- after shock of my episode...i got very scared, very sad and deleted both my dearly treasured and beloved, beautifully cult followed by many of you and other ghosts of sp style fanatics past ao3 account**

**( with peppermint on it at 13k likes which...oh my god, please be gentle with me, that was a very, very hard blow and rough realization for me and i am sorry to everyone who loved that fanfiction and wanted to go back and read it for posperity and personal comfort...i miss her too; rest in peace, pep, my first born. my sweet girl. </3 )

...and most tragically of all, i deleted my tumblr blog, with over one hundred pages of carefully curated content surrounding my sp aus, your lovely, insightful and thoughtful questions and inquiries, also typed with your tiny, weird gay hands answered, in turn, with mine, torched the ev. of those memories in the final blast and lost my window into your world through that medium...

...which is literally heartbreaking to me, because more than even my silly fanfictions or my blog, what i loved to do, was talk to all of you and read your wonderful messages each day and remind myself of why i should be here and continue to do what i do. </333 :'''c

BUT! my darlings, as ravenstan would say, 'it's always darkest before crimson dawn', for the very first time in several weeks ( which, i fear, and i was, full of fear and horrible self loathing/dread every waking and nightmarish moment ), last night, i cried for a very, very, very, long time, held myself together in the broken places -- told myself and the girl i was that i loved her and i was going to take care of us and be brave -- and broke the fever ( a little off key like jersey kyle, but very lovely nonetheless; love you tone deaf king. x my sboyf. )

today, i woke up this morning and slept...PEACEFULLY and woke up PERFECTLY HAPPY AND RESTED...

AND SMILED. QUITE. WIDE!!!!~ :D

and that is a baby step, but it is a step in the right direction and also almost wanted to make me weep like a baby again because i literally have not felt happy or like i do not hate myself for like, i shit you not, over like 15-20 days...it was frightening and fucking horrible! SLAY!

nevertheless ( or the most, finally ) i am excited to welcome in a new era/year of change on my blog and within myself; which is an era of peppermint flavored 'hope i'm healing' in a delicious rem(ember) font.

unfortunately, because i nuked my ao3 account, i do not currently one atm, but am in the process of recovering it.

( i'm not condoning any kind of rude/uncivilized behavior bc people are allowed to do anything they want -- but i'd really like to get my user back and would appreciate it a lot if no one used it to create another ao3 account just because it would be confusing for my readers and disheartening to me to not be boxwinebaddie anymore. )

until then, i will be writing/drafting rem(ember) in my messy google docs, am storyboarding everything to the best of my ability ( which is not perfect, but nothing is -- except stan and kyle to each other -- but god loves a trier, which is why he hates me: i prefer hell where it's drier -- that way my girlfail guylinea will not run. xx )

KALE SEITAN! ;)

posting little snippets of it on here for all of you, probably put it here on my tumblr and post it up to ao3 if i can regain my account/one in general ( i am a little worried that because of how long it's been, the loss of all my followers and, what i assume, is a decreased public or tiktok generated interest in sp, it will do poorly; rip </3 )

-- but the point is...that i want to start doing stuff for myself now. and not because i think i should or create unnecessary stress/sadness surrounding my strength or weakness as a writer or person ( or like, beat the living shit out of myself every single day anymore )...

...so i am writing it slowly, carefully, synthesizing all the info i gathered from over a year of answering your questions ( which helped me develop my sp au styles and their worlds into the lovely, seemingly breathing paper machslayed things they are now ), am going to write the fanfiction i always/wanted/ to write ( i’ve always wanted to rewrite RM, but was so busy and overwhelmed with my blog/my irl stuff that i couldn't )

and i'm calling it...

<3

p.s. ( i love you ): i am going to give my grandmother a copy of the first chapter of peppermint for christmas because i wanted to do something special/sentimental for her and secretly push the gay middle school style agenda ( she is actually very woke and thought my uncle might be gay for a while when he was younger, haha xx ), but i want to give them different names, so that on the off chance it gets passed off to my mom, my dad or manages to travel by world of mouth ( my grandma has a tendency to gab, but i love her a lot ) that it can't specifically be traced back to my dead ao3 or my blog.

so if any one has any ideas for silly interesting names i could give my sons, names for other characters or south park in gen. hit me up! <33

thank you for your interest in my work -- and in me, in general. i love you all dearly, i hope you heal ( i know you will ) and smile, pendejos because got a lot coming up on that crimson dawn and a lot of crazy shit coming down on that *jersey i won't say i'm in luh megara vc*

~SCHARLET sLUt~

cheers! mazel! ;) xx

-uncle nina, in her healing era <3

[hoeforhao]

Tum Se Hi (Its about you, Just about you) J.W.W

୨୧pairing : co-worker!wonwoo × g.n reader

୨୧author's note : how can i not do something for my moon's birthday!!! the title is from one of my favorite songs of our culture. I have tried to include the closest translation at the places the song's verses have been used♡

"What about the flowers tho? I want exactly two thousand and three lilies to adorn the hall by 6p.m sharp!!You remember that right?" a raspy hushed voice whisper talks to Chan, part time pet sitter at the shelter and full time Mr.Wonwoo's baby.

"What are the lovebirds chirping about huh?Lemme in your gossip too nah!" sudden contact of his shoulders with a warm pair of hands, pulls wonwoo out of the conversation and makes him stern his face so that the big secret doesn't spill out to you before hand.

"Nothing dumbo. We were just planning on what to do for cinnabun's birthday." the moment that those words escape his crevices, witnesses a slight drop in your smile and a deep sigh making its way out of your lungs.

*Cinnabun was one of the furrbabies at the cat shelter you three worked for, whose birthday was the next day. But that wasn't the reason for your sigh. I mean why would it be right? She was your favorite babie afterall. It was just cuz you thought that wonwoo even remembered bunbun's birthday, but ironically not yours. Your 20th birthday that was today. Yes today yet you had to act like there was nothing today. Why? Because you knew no one remembered and no one cared! Except....*

It was around 5:30 in the evening when you were finally done with your daily work schedule,be it feeding the babies or cleaning up after the menace pies.

Even if the world forgot to celebrate your presence, doesn't mean you will too, right? That's what you kept on telling yourself while buying that one slice of caramel cheesecake from the bakery next to the shelter, this morning.

Consoling yourself with all the "yes y/n you matter" and "so what no one remembers? it's still your special day", you gingerly make your way to the room where all the cattos were.

"Wait! Why is it all dark? Where are the babies? Did they all fall asleep already?" your heart clenches at the sight. Maybe you truly were just a mistake the universe made and now tried conveying to you at every point that you're nothing but an unimportant living piece of dirt on this planet. Else, why would everything be against you, on your OWN GODDAMN BIRTHDAY!!

"Looks like I'm just not meant to be even the tiniest bit happy on my day" these are the last words that part your lips, as you twirl on your feet to go back home.....just when a tug of guitar strings rings in your ears and....

Baaton mein baatein teri, raatein saugaatein teri ( my talks are full of you, my nights seem to be a gift from you )

Kyun tera sab yeh ho gaya,hua kya

( why has everything of mine become yours? what happened? )

Mein kahin bhi jaata hoon ,tum se hi mil jaata hoon ( anywhere i go, seems like i meet you )

Tum se hi, tum se hi ( it's about you, just about you )

Your legs have started feeling numb, you're too scared to even turn back to see the prettiest constellation being presented to you. Just you!

"Happy birthday y/n! I know all these years you've felt like you didn't deserve to celebrate your special day, the day this universe created the most beautiful lily ever. The day the missing puzzle piece of my being was carefully wrapped up in the shiniest of papers and presented to your parents." teardrops following each other down your cheeks like a colony of ants bringing home food, while wonwoo's bulky firm arms pull you into the warmest embrace known to mankind.

"Y-you remembered? B- but how?" trying to speak casually while being a crying mess is definitely not your cup of cocktail for sure. "And what about the cats? Where are they?" a panic instantly shines on your forehead as wonwoo pulls you by the shoulder and turns you towards the masterpiece he has created.

All your babies were lined up like little kids at a birthday party, wearing silly little princess and knight dresses while the room was decked up with white lilies all over. Your work table was now being occupied by a two tier vanilla caramel cake that specifically spelled out "Going Twenty" alongside your favorite brand of soju. But all of these still felt small infront of that satin sash that said " Happy Birthday to the prettiest star this galaxy had to offer".

And that's where you lost it. Dropping to your knees on the floor while shielding your entire face beneath your palms, you started wildly sobbing. No one has ever made you feel this special and what did wonwoo do? He turned the eternally cursed day of your life into the most beautiful one.

"Don't cry dumbo. Today is the day to celebrate with spirits and cakes not with tears and sobs princess" that same pair of arms wrapped around your torso, gently pulling up your body from the ground ; the arms that now felt like home and the embrace that made your heart fill up with nothing but sheer joy and peace.

"How can i ever thank you for this wonu!! All these just f-for me...for a girl who's only your co-worke..." before you could even finish blabbering like an absolute idiot, one of wonwoo's slender fingers lands on your lips forcing that ignorant mouth of yours completely shut.

"Just a girl? Oh how naive you're love. Only if you realized that you're not 'just a girl' for me but my entire sky; the canvas upon which i shine the brightest every night. The lost piece of my painting I've been trying to finish all these years"

'W-wonu y.." idiotic of you to even try speaking midway when the person you've adored all these time is now pouring his heart out to you.

"Y/n, I've loved you three summers....will you let me love you the rest too?" the restricting fingers finally drop down from your lips as wonwoo bends down his head, tears threatening to fall out of the two moon crevices on his forehead.

"Will it be a problem if we walk down this path together, hand in hand?" a soft pair of paws cups wonu's cheeks, gently wiping off the stray drops of tears staining his mochi buns.

"Thank you y/n." that's all that comes out of his mouth as he literally throws his entire body weight onto you while wrapping you into the tightest yet gentlest hug....head resting on your shoulders.

"Thank you more wonwoo" you calmly whisper into his ears while your hands took turns in patting his back and his satin soft perms.

"Uhh hmm looks like someone forgot to thank the one who helped him TO ARRANGE ALL THIS AND IMPRESS HIS LOVE" Chan's sudden intrusion is all it took for you two to come out from being an intertwined vine.

"You sly little boy!!! Did all of these just under my nose while acting all normal huh!!" and that's how a typical chase between the real life Tom & Jerry of your shelter ensued....wonwoo quietly looking over his moon being all giggly and happy, with stars in his eyes and sheer love in his heart.

[cartooninvaders]

Hiya!!

Tis only sketches today, one a little blue gremlin practice sketch while the other is my first ever PaperBall ship art!!

Soo here’s an ironic story for ya. See it all started many moons ago when Gumball still aired on CN and I was just a young teen at the time. See my brain tends to notice the minor details reading between the lines so with that In mind I had shipped Carrie with Gumball for so long due to those details among other reasons but like my brain did what it usually does and thinks and over analyzes things it thought oh what if and hear me out Teri x Gumball.

So I do what I usually do and do my research and unfortunately I came up with very little soo the ship just kinda just sat there stewing in my brain until recently over the years I was like “O My Stars I think I like Teri x Gumball more than I do Carrie!” Tho don’t misunderstand I still heavily enjoy Carball but ye!

Also to all the Teri X Gumball shippers out there could we all collectively use PaperBall instead of Terball thank you! ^~^)/)”

[slowing-down-in-style]

My Dad - 12/27/2023

My dad came over for Christmas. He showed up a little before 9:30am and he was gone before 11:30am. I didn't expect him to stay long. I guess there wasn't really anything worth staying for. He doesn't like people. (Groups of people or people in general) He doesn't like coming to the city. I can't get him to do anything with me. No hockey games. No baseball games. No Crew games. No Zoo. No parks. No hiking or biking or walking or movies or cooking or baking or... anything. He's okay with coming to my place though. Sometimes we go to dinner. Only at Texas Roadhouse, preferably in Springfield. He lives an hour away from us. So in actuality I guess instead of 2 hours...  I'd taken up 4 hours of his day. Anyways, I thought the way that he left was rather weird...

He came over. I made cinnamon roll waffles for Christmas breakfast for him, Alex and I. We didn't exchange presents this year, same as last year. I didn't know what else to do while he was here... and I've long since learned I probably overwhelm him when I talk, because I fill the silence between us with talking. So I tried to talk less. Tried to stop filling the gaps of silence with worthless chit-chat.

So yeah. I guess it makes sense he left after only 2 hours. I dunno.. is 2 hours short? Is it long? Is that a perfect amount of time? He said he wanted to go home and take a nap.

Alex and I were fiddling with the xbox, maybe he thought we were ignoring him or were bored with him or something. I wasn't trying to ignore him, I was just trying to load something up, a game or a movie or something I could share with him so it wasn't just silence.

He suddenly declared he was going home and started walking towards the front door. I got up and opened my arms like I wanted to give him a hug. He looked back at me and kind of scoffed, then came back and hugged me and said goodbye. I don't think I'm ever going to forget that scoff and the look he had. I was heartbroken.

I sent him an email today, that's how my dad prefers to communicate, and asked him if I had done something to upset him on Christmas.

"No." was the reply. Nothing else.

Chris calls it verbal economy. 'that man does not talk about feelings. full stop.'

Yeah.. doesn't really leave me with a whole lot of paternal love. This is the same guy who let his me just step out of his life for years because his girlfriend treated me like a second class citizen and he only came back into my life because I called him and made him man up for my 16th birthday.

I need to quit trying to squeeze water out of stone.

My mom was a pretty emotional person. Very watery. Wore her heart on her sleeve. She was the one who had full custody of me. She often guilted me into spending time with her in ways that now... I miss terribly. She would sometimes climb in bed with me and snuggle. She would ask me to come down and snuggle up with her on the couch and watch a movie and play footsie with me like we did when I was a little kid. She took me everywhere with her when she could. (At least until she started leaving me home to go to the bar...)

I took these amazing moments for granted. When I was little I loved them. As a young adult and a teenager I felt cramped and we fought and she drank and it felt like manipulation and neglect and abuse. She would (often drunkenly) fight with me one night, not remember it the next day and expect me to be okay with her sudden lonely affections. She might not have been mother of the year, she might have been verbally and emotionally abusive and an alcoholic... and I'm not putting her above my dad in any way. But I wish right now I had parents who showed me love. I wish I had realized how important those moments were and how few of them I was going to have.

I have aunts who love me, or at least one does, but they are far away. On top of that Teri has more than enough to handle being the center piece of sustaining the lives of my disaster of a cousin and aunt. How can I possible ask her to take on one more burden in me?

I have Chris who loves me and shows me love in so many ways. He shows me new ways to love and encourages the growth I need to understand myself, the love I need and the love I give other people.

I have Alex who loves me and indulges me here and there in the same ways I indulged my mom when she wanted and needed affection and attention. When I want to show him attention and motherly affection I do so and try not to guilt him into accepting it as best I can.

I want to move towards acceptance of however my dad chooses to be and how he choses to love me. I like to think I have over the years. I don't try to force him into situations by suggesting things anymore- so he doesn't have to tell me no. But how do I expand on that acceptance so that I don't hurt when I'm let down anymore?

Also- today is his birthday. I'm taking him to dinner. To Texas Roadhouse. In Springfield.

[baekhvuns]

Ok so i think it's mostly a blur but now tht i think abt i found you thru twt as well. Interesting story, bcz i had no idea what twt was used for??? plus i had no social presence whatsoever, i still don't. So a few of my frnds suggested me to download a few apps like insta 💀 I didn't hv it back then, twt and Snapchat. So currently I only have the last two apps, where I don't do nothing, just scan the world arnd me 😭 like IDC abt the posts or streaks or whtv. I'm a grandmother ok?

BUT as I made an acct on twt i was scrolling thru things and YK the thing where they ask ur interests, so i just clicked on kpop AND specifically went for ateez. And in a few moments I saw so many twts BUT one of them caught my eye. Idk but someone had linked your fic there and it was lnfila. I was enchanted by the moodboard 🤧🤧 it was pretty. So then I was like how about we give this a try and i found out ur official acct is on Tumblr. So i shot down twt and deleted my account and forever came to settle in Tumblr land 😀 honestly i had thought tht u were one of those writers tht wrote a masterpiece years ago then vanished frm the face of the earth BUUTTTT

I realised u were still active and tht made me so happy 😭 so after reading all those ffs i sent u the submission of my cringey ass review 😭😭 but yeah such a beautiful story right? Anyways, it's raksha bandhan today...AND I GOT SOAN PAPDI AS A GIFT 😭😭 like I just don't like it now dude, as a kid i was obsessed but now it just don't suit my taste buds. But the urge I'm having to ship those boxes to South Korea 😞 for a special someone.

And NOOO YOU'RE SO RIGHT IT'S ALWAYS JK AND TAEHYUNG AND THE THUMBNAILS 😭😭 GOD THE THUMBNAILS-

OHH OK so I read ur songs reccs AND DAMN BRO THOSE PLAYLISTS THO ✋😭 I hv to re read the fics again. Also, if you had to dedicate one ost for all the hwa fics BUT make them bollywood songs, which ones would you choose?

wait this is such a cute but chaotic find 😭😭😭 no coral media presence? that’s exactly how one should live 🤚🏻 my digital footprint is nonexistent my only achievement <3

LMFAOOOO SO THE MOOD BOARD CAUGHT UR ATTENTION 😭😭😭 and did not know let’s not fall in love was ur first fic by me??? inch resting, LMFAOOO IT WAS FUN READING THEM 😭😭😭 a very beautiful story indeed!! AAAA TO U TOO!! BDMWHDKWHDKS NOT THAT FUCKING THING SEND IT AWAY REGIFT IT REGIFT IT!!! SEND IT TO THAT SOMEONE IN KR,, also apparently there’s some sort of a event happening today ??? that’s not auspicious so they’re asking ppl to tie them early??? sus idk if u heard it but i heard it so im sure u did fbsnbdkvlvkc

AND IM CONVINCED JK HAS READ THEM 😭😭 THERES NO FUCKING WAY HE DIDNT GIGGLE AND SHIT READING THEM BFMWBDM

OOOOO that’s so interesting, will dig into my bollywood playlist rn!!

duke : janam janam? or jashan e bahara for the sakes of royalty <3

just friends : i think i will chose miss aish’s crazy kia re + marjavaan from the movie fashion! + humraah

mafia : jannatein kahan by kk BECAUSE THE OHHHOOOO PARTS FBNWHDKWJK

divorce : raabta for the lyrics 😭😭

khronus : main yahaan hoon from veer zaara THE LYRICS FIT LIKE A DRESS

bodyguard : teri meri reprise version HOW CAN I NOT + love is a waste of time from pk for the fun moments + tum se hi??? yes.

rewrite the stars : ilahi + hawayein ??? and the new srk one form jawan i think it’s called challeya??? yeah, all the trip sound tracks + safarnama

bbhwa : tum mile + baby when u talk to me from patalia house 😭😭😭 do u rmr that movie 😭😭

[terinour]

Some Martha’s memories

It was raining that day in La Palma. Martha had ordered a beer. His head was turned towards the bay window of the bar. What was she looking at outside ? In fact, she wasn't really looking out, but into herself. She held her cigarette in the air as she always did and could stay that way for hours. She was so absorbed that she did not see the bartender bring her a Dorada.

She was thinking of a woman on the other side of the world. They had met in Tokyo and, in his memory, it all happened very quickly. They had arrived at the same time on the terrace of a restaurant and there was only one table left. They had decided to eat together. In conversation she said to Martha ̒I like all causes, but I prefer those who are desperate.̓ Instantly, Martha fell in love. She masked her confusion by holding her cigarette in the air with languidness.

She remembered the two colored paper lamps above them that seemed to watch over them like angels. The light diffused by the two globes, however intense, could not match the emotion that overwhelmed her. Suddenly theirs fingers brushed. The evening was advanced. The other customers were leaving one after the other. They were moving away while Martha and the unknown woman were getting closer. After most of the clients left, eyes closed, she kissed her on the lips.

When Martha opened her eyes she found herself near a stone bridge spanning a quiet river. The bridge separated two misty moors. Martha knew she had just reached another point on her dream journey. Yet it was neither a memory nor a dream. An old man with a familiar face looked at her with a compassionate gaze. The bright colors had given way to pastel and evanescent tones. Nothing here seemed tangible. ̒You look so sad, is something wrong ? ̓Simply asked the old man. Martha was fighting back tears. ̒It was a long time ago now, but I haven't forgotten,̓ she managed to tell him. ̒You don't want to let go of the past, do you ? ̓ ̒It’s me that has been abandoned, so many times.̓ ̒That's the human condition, isn't it ? People, events and all kinds of things come and go in our life.̓ ̒Yes, it’s true.̓ ̒Something is always present and never leaves us? It's the same person who goes from happiness to sadness, isn't it ? Who is this person ? ̓

The old man left Martha to his thoughts and crossed the bridge. ̒Wait !,̓ she said. But everything was already disappearing in the haze. When she dissipated, Martha saw a door. She was in a dead mall. A blind with twisted and dusty blades were hanging on the glass door. Logos, such as hieroglyphs, testified to a past today. His inner life had a time looked like, stripped of his substance. She distinguished a flower in the middle of the rubble. She had found.

Martha came out of her reverie, drank a sip of Dorada and pulled a puff on her cigarette. Smoke volutes took the shape of an island or an archipelago. It could be the Palma, her island, or Japan. This could be the present, the past or the future. What was close seemed far away, and vice versa. She smiles. Memories did not matter, either what happened or what would happen to her. The most important thing is that she had found herself.

Teri Nour

Note: I translated my own text entitled "Quelques souvenirs de Martha". This work led me to modify few words. It's a way for me to rework my pieces. I apologize for this appoximative translation. Below the new french version.

Quelques souvenirs de Martha

Il pleuvait ce jour-là à La Palma. Martha avait commandé une bière. Sa tête était tournée en direction de la baie vitrée du bar. Que regardait-elle dehors ? En fait elle ne regardait pas vraiment dehors, mais en elle-même. Elle tenait sa cigarette en l’air comme elle le faisait toujours et pouvait rester ainsi des heures. Elle était tellement plongée dans ses pensées qu’elle ne vit pas le serveur lui apporter une Dorada.

La vérité c’est qu’elle pensait à une femme à l’autre bout du monde. Elles s’étaient rencontrées à Tokyo et, dans son souvenir, tout s’était passé très vite. Elles étaient arrivée en même temps sur la terrasse d’un restaurant où il ne restait qu’une table de libre. Elles décidèrent de manger ensemble. Dans la conversation elle avait dit à Martha :

– J’aime toutes les causes, mais j’ai une préférence pour celles qui sont désespérées.

Pour cette phrase, Martha l’avait aimée aussitôt. Elle avait arboré un air détaché tout en tenant nonchalamment sa cigarette en l’air. Elle se souvins de ces deux lampes de papier colorées au-dessus qui semblaient veiller sur elles, tels deux anges. La lumière diffusée par ces deux orbes, quoi qu’intense, ne pouvait égaler l’émotion qui la submergeait. Le bout de leurs doigts s’effleurèrent un instant. La soirée était déjà bien avancée. Les autres clients partaient les uns après les autres. Ils s’éloignaient tandis que Martha et l’inconnue se rapprochaient. Lorsque la plupart des clients furent partis, les yeux fermés, elle l’embrassa sur les lèvres.

Quand Martha rouvrit les yeux elle se retrouva près d’un pont de pierre enjambant une rivière tranquille. Le pont séparait deux landes brumeuses. Martha su qu’elle venait d’atteindre une autre étape de son voyage onirique. Pourtant, ce n’était ni un souvenir ni un rêve. Un vieil homme au visage familier la regardait avec un regard compatissant. Les couleurs vives avaient cédées leur place à des tons pastels et évanescents. Rien ici ne semblait tangible.

– Vous avez l'air si triste, quelque chose ne va pas ? Demanda simplement le vieil homme

Martha retenait ses larmes.

– C’était il y a longtemps maintenant, mais je n’ai rien oublié… Réussit-elle à lui dire.

– Vous ne voulez pas abandonner le passé, pas vrai ?

– C’est moi que l’on a abandonnée, tellement de fois

– C’est pourtant la condition humaine, non ? Des gens, des événements et toutes sortes de choses entrent et sortent de notre vie

– Oui, c’est vrai

– Quelque chose est toujours présent et ne nous abandonne jamais ? C'est la même personne qui passe du bonheur à la tristesse n’est-ce pas ? Qui est cette personne ?

Le vieil homme laissa Martha à ses pensées et traversa le pont.

– Attendez !, lança t-elle

Mais tout était déjà en train de disparaître dans la brume. Quand elle se dissipa, Martha vit une porte. Elle était dans une ancienne galerie marchande, aujourd’hui à l’abandon. Un store aux lames tordues et poussiéreuses pendouillait à la porte vitrée. Des logos, tels des hiéroglyphes, témoignaient d’un passé aujourd’hui révolu. Sa vie intérieure avait un temps ressemblé à cet endroit, dépouillée de sa substance. Elle distingua une fleur au milieu des gravas. Elle avait trouvé.

Martha sortit de sa rêverie, bu une gorgée de Dorada et tira une bouffée sur sa cigarette. Les volutes de fumée prenaient la forme d’une île ou d’un archipel. Cela pouvait bien être La Palma, son île, ou le Japon. Cela pouvait être le présent, le passé ou le futur. Ce qui était proche semblait lointain, et inversement. Elle sourit. Peu importaient les souvenirs, ce qui lui été arrivé ou ce qui lui arriverait. Le plus important, c’est qu’elle s’était retrouvée.

[jocktrolls]

taps mic

using flowery or euphemistic language to portray a message that is substantively sexual and contexually inappropriate does not make you seem polite

it just makes you look like a tool ontop of being sexually inappropriate

[bob-artist]

I think about those crabs in that cup almost daily, I love them so 🦀🦀🦀 I made a crab apple (apple cut to look like a crab) for my halloween party's char-boo-terie board, I thought you would like to know those exist here in our real world with us today and that you can make one yourself. I would also do anything for a higher res version of the drawing so I can make it my phone background T_T

I do indeed like to know that they exist, thank you very much for improving my day!!! 🦀

As for the high-res art, sadly this one had only a shitpost level of foresight and planning, so I only made it at a low-ish resolution. The full size image I uploaded to tumblr is 1688x1666, and I think you should be able to grab it from the website...? But if not, here's a version with some of the white cropped out for better phone dimensions, in case it means tumblr shrinks the image less:

[badedramay]

arylie ki pasoori - 15/02/22

Devi Imlie Maata teri sadaaa hi JAI!!

matlab epi ki start hi Maata ki Mahanta ke bhajan se huaaaaa. not a single cell within me was surprised to see her neither grateful nor apologetic towards Aryan. in fact ussi ki lecture suna rahi thi xD But love my man Aru who did NOT buy any of her excuses. bol hi diyaaaa ke usse buss puri banane pe well done milne ki khushi hai..kaam ke liye nahin. 

real talk? i know the writers put in these scenes as a way to address the blunders they made but like..what’s the point? token reprimanding scenes daal dete hain and then it’s back to whatever sasta nasha they phoonkofy. 

khair.

Tripathi House ka drama chalu hai...breakfast table se hi shuru hogaya. L M A O Aryan haq se bething on Nalla’s seat and Nalla being all 😐 because range hi itni hai. but OOOOOOOOOHHHHH!! ARUUUUUUUU’S REACTION!!! when he heard Imlie made NALLA’S favorite dish askdjawhea! yeh ishq nahin hone wala aasaaan ashiq singh rathore!!

Aryan and Malini. Noice. listen i KNNOWWWWWWWWW Malini has done some inexcusable kaands in her life but I can’t really hate her?? her actions are questionable but her intentions are right, you get what I mean? she just wants to be happy with her husband and doesn’t want any ateet ka khatta meetha saaya hovering around them. what’s wrong with that? ainvayi villain bana ke rakh diya hai. but looooooooooooool when Aryan asked her what exactly she has done in the past to separate Imlie and Aditya was such a smart move. and a very well obvious one too ke baaji itnaaaa jo you say I have done toh tell me what you’ve done?

turns out the teaming up was all a plan!!

not even gonna TRY to get into the timeline.

AJKSDHWEKJAW! Imlie will do the most ABSURD things with Aryan and he’ll very gladly tag along with her until the last moment. what was that hypnosis scene?! xD banda was ready for anything! but the moment she said he’ll do Imlie’s “Seva” and he snapped out of it! which is very I N T E R E S T I N G~ last night I said that Aryan will continue to give Imlie more of his power  but GOSH DAMN TODAY’S EPISODE GAVE ME NEW THOUGHTS TO BE THUNK!!

WILL I EVER GET OVER MY SQUEALS ANY TIME ARYAN USES IMLIE’S LINGO ON HER?! “Bulabwa”? MAAR HI DAALO MUJHE ARUUU ZINDA REH KE KARNA HI KYA HAI?!?!?!?

AND NOW THE BEST FUCKING PART

FAKE DATING???

DID IMLIE SUGGEST THE MOST FAMOUS FAKE-DATING TROPE FOR THEIR PLAN?!

HER FUSED BULB HAVING THIS STROKE OF GENIUS! LIKE NO CAP I SCREAAAMEEEEDDD????????

Imlie basically said everyone already assumes you are my boyfriend so why not just fucking go with it??? AKDJHAKEWJA NOT HER SAYINGG SHE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT MEANS!

“Boy ho. Friend ho. Toh iss mein galat kya hai?”

 BEHENOOOOO WHEN I SAY ISS WALE JAANIYA PE MAINE BHANGRA DAALA TOH TRUST ME CUZ MAINE BHANGRA DAAALAAAAA!!!!

it’s now getting FASCINATING for me watching how Imlie treats Aryan....or rather sees Aryan. she gets concerned when he coughs and asks if he’s okay. but then very next second she tells him he’s devoid of any emotions so it’s not like he has anything to lose if they carry on with this plan? MATLAB BEHEN???? PICK ONE STRUGGLE????

AHEAWKJEA I KNOW THIS IS MY SCREAM CORNER BUT hold up hold up! Imlie sees everything she just is very very VERRYYY selective and slow in processing those things. is her assessment of Aryan wrong? oh yeah. but is her assessment groundless? Heck no! today I was confused if she thinks too highly of him or she thinks the opposite??? 

for her emotions are her strength but she also acknowledges they are her weakness. AN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT SHE ONLY GOT AFTER MEETING ARYAN BECAUSE IT WAS HIM WHO DRILLED IT INTO HER HEAD TO START ACTING LOGICALLY AND NOT EMOTIONALLY!! so for HER to assume Aryan is not capable of emotions SPECIALLYYYY petty emotions of jealousy is....IT MAKES SENSE YOOOO! 

for her, he’s the winner. top of the game..ahead of everyone by miles. and love by definition is about surrendering and losing. WHY WOULD SHE THINK HE WOULD CHOOSE TO...oh em gee I’m gonna say it...TAKE ON THIS PASOORI?!?!??!

WHICH THEN TRIGGERS ARYAN BECAUSE..ASDKLASEHAWKEAW I AM SCREAMING CRYING SHAKING HERE BUT BECAUSSEEEE IT WAS HEERRRRRR WHO HAS AWAKENED THE FEELINGS IN HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?!?

Imlie took her jokes with him too far and It is the first tiem Aryan has reacted so strongly to the jokes so her shock was understandable. before this he almost willingly set himself up to be the butt of her jokes and he never said anything. THAT WAS THEIR EQUATION. and now Imlie hit a nerve when she said it was just too impossible for her to think he could ever be hopelessly in love. NOW FOR ARYAN...THE PERSON WHO IS EVOKING THE FEELINGS OF HOPELESS LOVE IN HIM  IS THE ONE TELLING HIM SHE ISN’T CAPABLE OF THE FEELINGS....CAN YOU IMAGINE THE SIRENS GOING OFF IN HIS HEAD?????

This was basically Imlie saying she’d never take him seriously when he chooses to be more open about his feelings towards her. because she just SAID the very idea is so absurd for her that she cannot wrap her head around it! HIS HURT MAKES SENSE. BUT SO DOES HER EXPLANATION??

Imlie’s a victim of love. she loved and she lost..OH THE WAY AND THE THINGS SHE LOST...will haunt her for a long LONG time. she cannot even fathom the possibility of ever going through that again any time soon. she thinks this loving and losing is part of her growing up. BUT. Aryan for her is already a grown up! she looks up to him because his control is something she aspires to have. for her to think ARYAN, the strongest person in her life currently, to fall victim to the SAME weakness...of COURSE she wouldn’t entertain the idea!

and...SHE DOES SEE HIM! she sees him which is why she said he has bigger plans to pursue. now she doesn’t KNOW what those plans are but she has enough understanding of him to know that someone like Aryan would not be just living his days without having a bigger goal to achieve. Imlie sees Aryan but she has seen him but like everything else..her vision is selective when it comes to him. she doesn’t imagine him when he’s all alone and just Aru. she doesn’t want to. and I guess I get her? so it’s safer for HER to see him just as Aryan Singh Rathore. a friend. a selfless friend with whom she can share anything...on whom she can rely on...and be safe with ke yaaar isske saath koi lafday nahin honge. that’s her defense mechanism working. I can’t blame her.

UFF THE BGM IN THE SCENE THOUGH. IT WAS SO GOOODDD!!!

I think I’ll say some more about it later.

Abhi ke liye bohat hai.

[mochegato]

Hope on Board

Chapter 23 – The Clock Ticks Life Away

Chapter 1     Chapter 22

Stupid hormones.  That was the only thing she could think.  Stupid hormones taking over her brain.  Hormones and frustration and stress from the impending fashion show. Of course Dick didn’t put his friend up to that.  Roy was just trying to protect his friend.  An incredibly assholish way to do it, but he was trying to look out for his friend.  Whatever Dick had been talking to him about, it had nothing to do what Roy did.  

Dick would never do that to her.  Dick had never lied to her, never treated her like he suspected her.  It was just her hormones and frustration at him being gone so often making her see things that weren’t there, which was extremely unfair of her.  He was only gone because of work.  He had to leave.  He didn’t want to.  He’d made that clear when he was with her.

She took a deep breath and smoothed the fabric over her baby bump.  She could do this.  Luckily, she hadn’t done or said anything bad.  But they still needed to talk about it, to clear the air and she had to be the one to take the first step because she was the one that broke it, well Roy broke it but she needed to tell Dick about it and see his reaction.  She clutched the container of chocolate cookies closer to her as she made her way into the Wayne Enterprises building and froze as soon as she made it past the front doors.  

She had entered this building so often, she knew the paths to Tim’s and Lucius’ offices better than she knew the path to her own studio.  But that wasn’t her destination today.  With a guilty twinge she realized she didn’t know the path she wanted to take.  She’d never been there before.  She let out a reproachful sigh and made her way to the reception desk.  “Hey, Teri,” she gave the front guard a smile.

Teri returned it with a bright smile, lighting up at seeing her.  “Hey, Miss. Dupain-Cheng.  How are you doing today?  Anything I can help you with?”

“Yeah.  I… um… can you tell me how to get to Dick’s office?” She kept her voice even, keeping the embarrassment out of it.  How could she have never visited his office?  They’d been together for six months now.

Teri gave her a confused look.  “I’m sorry?”

“Dick Grayson.  I wanted to surprise him but I realized I’ve… I’ve forgotten how to get there,” she elaborated.

Instead of clearing up, Teri’s confused look got deeper. “Mr. Grayson doesn’t work here, Miss. Dupain-Cheng.  He never has. Only Mr. Wayne and Mr. Drake work here from the family.”

Marinette stared at her blank faced.  That wasn’t right.  That… No, no, no.  He said… he told her…  She suddenly dropped the container of cookies and gasped for breath, having forgotten to breathe for the past few seconds.  She plastered on a fake smile.  “Sorry.  I thought Tim set him up with something to experiment.  He must have meant somewhere else.  Thank you, Teri,” she rushed to get out.  She grabbed the container of cookies and started heading to the exit. She paused and turned around. “Here, Teri.  You work too hard.  You deserve these.”  She tossed the cookies on the counter and took off out of the office as quickly as she could without drawing too much attention.

Teri watched after her.  Her confused expression morphed into a deep concern.  She picked up the phone to call up to Mr. Drake’s office. Miss Dupain-Cheng did not look okay and she thought Mr. Drake would want to know immediately so he could check on her. “Mr. Drake’s office,” the curt voice responded.

“Hey Tam.  This is Teri at the front desk.  I just had a strange incident with Miss Dupain-Cheng and I thought Mr. Drake might want to know.”

Tam was silent for a moment, weighing her options. “Mr. Drake is in a meeting right now, but I will let him know you want to talk to him as soon as it is over.”

“Thank you, Tam,” Teri answered gratefully.

<><><><><> 

He lied.  He lied.  He lied. He lied.  The mantra repeated itself in her mind over and over again. He’d lied to her.  Every time he said he had to leave for days at a time for work, it was a lie.  Every time he was late for something because of work, it was a lie.  Every time he left early because work called, it was a lie. Every time he promised to be somewhere then missed it because of work, it was a lie.  His words were lies.

She had been patient and understanding with all the absences because it was for work. He didn’t want to miss out on things, he had to.  He didn’t have a choice.  But that was all a lie.  He had a choice.  He wanted to leave.  He wanted to miss everything. What he didn’t want was to be with her.

She watched the clock as it ticked the time away. And he was late… again… after he promised he wouldn’t be anymore.  His promises were lies.  The time fell away and Marinette’s composure fell with it.  Which of his words could she trust?  Was there anything about their relationship that she could trust? Where had he been going when he left? What had he been doing that was so much more important than her and the babies?  That was so important he had to lie to her about it?

She eyed the clock again doing a quick calculation. Forty-five minutes.  He was forty-five minutes late with no warning, no call, no estimation of when he might get there.  Again.  Because why? Because she wasn’t worth the consideration?  Her mind was spinning, her heart was racing, her patience and understanding were gone, and her ire was rising.

At the forty-eight minute mark the front doors slammed open and Dick rushed into the room in a whirlwind of apologies and remorse. “I’m so sorry!  I’m so, so sorry.  I couldn’t get away.  I’m so sorry. Something came up at the last minute and I had to deal with it and then we had to reconfigure everything when… one of the men on the team ended up with a broken jaw somehow.”

“You’re late.”  

Her voice was deceptively calm.  There was a coolness to it that Dick wasn’t used to hearing from her.  Even when she was upset, she didn’t take that tone.  He knew he deserved it, but the unexpectedness unsettled him.  He braced himself for her to get angrier, because it was only going to get worse the more he spoke.  But there was no way around it.  They finally cracked it.  Donna put together the clues last night and now they knew.  They knew when the Court was going to strike and where.  They even knew the how.  Now they just needed to compile the evidence against everyone helping them and stop it. It was almost over.  They were almost done.  Just this one more thing and he was free.  “I know.  I know. But like I said, something came up and we had to figure out details for a trip we need to go on starting tomorrow.” Dick winced.

“You’re leaving… again.”  As predicted, her voice got colder even as a tone of incredulity snuck in in response to his announcement.

“I am.  I hope this is the last one.  I know the timing is terrible.  But I have to go,” he tried to placate her.  He knew it was bad, terrible really, but hopefully it was the worst of it. After this, if everything went right, after this, he could relax and focus entirely on her.

“For work…” she clarified with a sharp edge.

He gave her a curious look.  She knew that was why, or thought she knew that was why.  Why was she asking for clarification on that? “… Yes”

“Where is it you work again?”  Her voice was dangerously innocent.

He eyed her cautiously.  Where was this going?  “You already know.”

“Do I?”  The innocent tone in her voice was offset by the narrowed, accusatory eyes and pursed lips. Dick held his breath.  She knew.  She had to know.  “Why don’t you remind me?  Because I thought it was Wayne Enterprises.  Isn’t that what you told me?  You worked for Bruce at Wayne Enterprises.  In security.  I could have sworn that’s what you said.  Isn’t that right?”

“Mari…” his voice was timid.  They couldn’t have this conversation.  She couldn’t find out now.  Not now.

“Because when I went there today to talk to you to clear the air after yesterday, after your friend decided it was a good idea to test me by hitting on me, badly I might add, and see if I’d cheat on you…”

Dick’s whole body suddenly snapped up straight.  “Who did what now?” he growled, Roy’s broken jaw suddenly making a lot more sense and vastly not enough.  He asked Roy to stop being an asshole to her, not step it up. When he saw Roy again, it wouldn’t just be his jaw that was broken.

“I’m assuming with your permission,” she continued unperturbed.

“With my what?” he asked incredulously.

“And I went to Wayne Enterprises to apologize for getting upset by the situation, which is stupid really, because I had a right to be upset about it.  They told me you don’t work there.  You never have.  You lied to me.  All those times you left for work, you lied.” Her voice started to sound broken.  Tears started welling in her eyes.  She was barely keeping them in, but she refused to cry right now.  Now wasn’t the time for tears, it was the time for answers.  She needed answers.  She needed something true to hold onto because right now?  Right now, she was drifting into nothingness.

“Mari…” he tried to sooth her.

“So I have to wonder, where you were all those times. Where were you going when you were abandoning me?  Where were you going when you forgot about me?  What were you doing that was more important?”  She threw her hands out, begging him for a reason, an explanation, some comfort.  She was lost. She was stumbling in the dark and she needed reassurance.  She needed him to come back.

“Mari, I promise you…” he started breathlessly.

“Your promises don’t mean much right now,” she growled.

“Mari, I promise you it was important,” he tried again, his voice pleading with her.  The promises comment hurt, but it was deserved, an indication of the damage he had done to their relationship.

“That’s what you said before.  So explain it to me.  What were you doing?  Where were you going?  This is your chance.” she demanded, cutting off his inner monologue.

He opened his mouth, but what was he supposed to say? He couldn’t say anything yet.  “Mari, I can’t.”  His eyes were imploring her to understand.  He wasn’t the bad guy.  He wasn’t using her.  He wasn’t just blowing her off.  This was for her, not against her.

“No,” she answered harshly, “this is your chance right now.  Explain it to me.  Was it all lies?”

“No!” God, why was it all falling apart.  Everything terrorizing doubt and nightmare was coming true.  She knew before he could explain and now she didn’t trust him.  “No.  Mari, I love you.”

She shook her head like she wanted to believe it but couldn’t.  “But you’re still leaving tomorrow for what a day, a week, a month?”

“A few weeks,” he admitted begrudgingly.

“During which time we won’t be able to talk at all,” she continued.

“I can’t.”  That was the line he wasn’t willing to cross.  If they got compromised, he refused to allow any link to Marinette, any link they could follow to find and harm her.

“And you won’t tell me why.”  Her voice was accusing and angry but her eyes betrayed how hurt she was.

He opened his mouth to give a longer explanation, but immediately closed it.  There was none to give, not yet.  “No.”

She drew in a long, shuttering breath.  He wasn’t willing to tell her.  He was willing to just watch her walk away rather than just tell her.  Whatever it was, it was more important than her and always would be. Was that something she was willing to live with?  Always being less important than God knows what?  Maybe, if she was honest.  She might be willing to live with that, but she wasn’t willing to let her children live with that.  She couldn’t just think of herself anymore.  She had to think of what was best for them.  “Just go,” she croaked, her voice breaking along with her heart.  “Go on your trip to wherever it is you go with whoever it is you spend time with.  Go where you really want to be.  Just leave, like you clearly want to anyway.”

“That’s not fair,” Dick cried.  “I don’t want to leave.  I have to.”

“Why?” she begged him.  Tears she could no longer hold in, despite her best efforts, were starting to fall.  “Why do you have to leave?”

“I’m protecting my family,” he screamed out in frustration. He winced, immediately wishing he could take it back.

“No,” she seethed.  Her face switched from pleading tears to anger in an instant.  Her quivering lips now taunt, glassy eyes now hard. “I spent three years getting terrorized, living through Hell because of that reasoning.  That is the only defense Gabriel would give.  It’s still the defense he gives, ‘I was protecting my family,’ like that makes everything he did okay.”

He knew that.  He knew better.  That phrase brought back all the attacks she’d had to go through, all the deaths she watched and experienced herself, and the perfect trauma that was Chat Blanc.  It triggered massive anxiety attacks for her, or in this case, fury.  “’I was protecting my family’ does not absolve all sins.  It does not make things okay.  So, I’m going to need more than that.”

Dick opened his mouth and immediately closed it. Even if he wanted to tell her he was about to go into a dangerous, potentially deadly mission, he couldn’t tell her here.  There was nothing he could do right now, no way he could fix it.  He would tell her after he got back, but he couldn’t tell her right now.  He couldn’t add that stress onto her.  He just needed her to trust him for a little bit longer.  He just needed a bit of faith.  Hadn’t he earned that?  Was that too much to ask?  He screwed up with the lie, but hadn’t everything else proved he was worth a bit of faith?  “I can’t give you more than that.  Not yet. Give me a few weeks…” he begged lowly.

She groaned and pulled on her hair in frustration. “Damn it, Dick!  Why…”

“Marinette Du…” a voice from the doorway called out before trailing off uncomfortably.

Marinette and Dick immediately stopped arguing and shrank back from each other, still breathing hard.  Marinette fought back the new wave of tears and shook her head to change focus.  She chuckled stiffly and offered a wide, strained smile.  “Sorry.  This must be so awkward.  This is…” she looked away, eyes darting over to Dick for a moment before returning to the nurse.  “Sorry about this.  Let’s just go back, please.”

“I can…” Dick started starting to move towards the door to the doctor’s offices.

“No!” Marinette cut him off coldly.  “You have more important things to do.  An important trip to prepare for.”  She turned and walked back through the doors to the offices behind.  

The nurse looked back and forth between the door and Dick a few times before scurrying after Marinette with an awkward, “Right then.”

Dick growled and kicked one of the waiting room chairs, accidentally sending it flying across the room.  This is not how this was supposed to end.  This was not how their story was supposed to go.  And there was nothing he could do.  He couldn’t fix this right now.  He had to leave her like this until he got back.  Damn it!  Why couldn’t the universe have waited a few weeks?  As soon as the Court’s plot was stopped or maybe as soon as the twins were born, he could tell her everything.  

Why did it have to happen now?  He needed to be somewhere else.  He needed to focus on the trip.  He couldn’t focus on this now.  If the mission fell through now they’d lose all their progress.  It would all be for nothing, all the lost time, all the missed appointments, all the times he’d disappointed Marinette, for nothing.  It couldn’t be for nothing.  He had to make it worthwhile.

His thoughts were interrupted by his phone going off. Dick reluctantly pulled out his phone and looked at the caller, Tim.  He sighed.  “What’s up, Tim?” he asked with a defeated sigh.

“She knows!” Tim yelled at him desperately. “Marinette found out you don’t work here.”

“Yeah, no fucking kidding,” Dick grumbled leaning against his motorcycle.

“You saw her already?”  Dick could hear Tim’s grimace through the phone.

“Yeah.”

“Things go badly?” Tim’s voice was appropriately tentative, like he already knew the answer but felt the need to ask anyway.

“No, it went peachy,” Dick snapped.  “She loved that I lied to her, that I’ve been lying to her since we met, and couldn’t explain why.”

Tim hesitated for a few seconds before offering a heartfelt, “I’m sorry, Dick.”

“Yeah, me too,” he sighed, trying to fight back his own tears.

“What are you going to do?”

“Stop this plot then fix this.”

“… In… Is that the order you want to do it in?” Tim asked cautiously.

“We need to stop the plot now.  We lose this, we lose everything.  It has to be now,” Dick answered resolutely.

Tim sighed and didn’t say anything for a few seconds. “Jason was right.  You’re such a fucking dumbass,” Tim said angrily before hanging up on him.

Chapter 24

Tags:

@dickinette-february @demonicbusiness @ichigorose @iloontjeboontje @ladybug-182 @toodaloo-kangaroo @dast218 @golden-promises @trippingovermyfeet @emimar7 @laurcad123 @lady-bee-fechin @thewitchwhowaited @redscarlet95 @jayjayspixiepop

[talpup]

Summary: The war between the Dragons and Griffons ended 233 years ago, and both races right along with it.

Or so it was believed. There are three individuals that will soon change that.

Kai is the last of the Dragons and he seeks to take what he sees as his rightful place and rule over all of Oblvi. Meanwhile, Shouta, the last Sphinx, wants nothing more than to do his job; keep the peace and and teach the young Fourth’s to hopefully avoid the mistakes of their ancestors. And Teris, a Foundling who is just trying to understand and survive in this strange new world that is supposedly her own.

All three have their own wants and desires, but Kai’s plans, Teris’ existence, and Shouta's past mean that none of them may get what they want.

***while they are capable of beastly forms, most of the time they keep to their human form

This fic is rated explicit and has warnings of sex, violence, and other possible triggers.  For a full list of story tags please check the fics AO3 (link to that at the top of my tumblrs homepage).

21.1

“So Kai must be stacked with coin to give you those flowers for no reason at all.”

“Huh?” Lost in thought, Teris turned to Hizashi, aware he had said something but not knowing what.

“Well you said there was no reason for the flowers when I asked if he got in trouble with ya and it’s too early for any kind of anniversary…”

Walking ahead of them on the forest path, Shouta tensed, lip twitching at the thought of Teris and Kai having any sort of anniversary to celebrate.

“So he must be just tryin’ to wine and dine ya.”  Hizashi glanced at Shouta’s back, hoping the Sphinx was taking notes. Teris might not be the type to need fancy, romantic displays; but that didn’t mean such charms didn’t work.

Teris turned away from her friend, eyes lowering to the small trail of trampled grass. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“That’s what you said back at home!”  Hizashi complained.

Shouta grimaced at the volume, but didn’t mind too much.  He was hoping for an uneventful patrol; which was why they were walking the path night smugglers used.  It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Teris and Hizashi’s ability or want them to have the growth that only experience brought.  It was just that too much was going on, and after their first overly eventful patrol with the Red Cap, Shouta would rather nothing happen this time.

“And now we’re on patrol.”  Teris said, hushed voice cracking. “A time where we should be focused, not chatting about needless stuff.”

Shouta nodded, proud and all too happy that talk of Kai and the flowers would now hopefully end.

Hizashi frowned.  Something was off with Teris.  Even with her and Shouta's attempts to avoid each other of late, Teris always came down for breakfast.  But she hadn’t today.  Instead, she had stayed up in her rooms all morning and afternoon, coming down thirty minutes before they had to leave for patrol, likely because Shouta had previously ordered them to.  When they had told her about someone waiting outside for her; Teris had opened the door, accepted the flowers and closed the door, all without expression.  At least she had called for Twice, asking the House Elf to put them in a vase, instead of leaving them to wither on the table like it had first looked like she would. But considering the massive bouquet of what looked like pretty expensive flowers, Hizashi would've expected a much different reaction; if you could call Teris’ non-reaction a reaction at all.

Hizashi's frown deepened as he took in Teris’ red eyes and listless movements. “Did you get any sleep last night, Ris?”

“Huh?” Teris turned to him.

“You look worse than Shou.”

Shouta glanced back over his shoulder. Of course he had noticed how troubled and tired Teris was; but as she always looked beautiful in his eyes, he hadn’t noticed just how bad the physical toll was until Hizashi mentioned it.

“Thanks.” Teris huffed, forcing a playful smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “That’s just what every girl wants to hear.”

“I’m serious, Ris!  Even your voice is raw and scratchy.”  Hizashi saw her dull, dead eyes alight with fear.  Wrongly thinking her fearful unease meant something else, he accused.  “Are you sick and hiding it so Shouta doesn’t make you stay home in bed?”

“I’m not sick.”

Worrying over another possibility, Hizashi didn’t even hear her. “Shou, what kind of sickness is there here?  Can Fourth's get the flu or common cold? Does it vary species to species?  Are some species immune to some stuff that others can die from?”  He rushed forward, grabbing Shouta's shoulder and turning him. “Can they treat or even know what Teris has if we don’t know what species she is!”

Shouta's eyes flicked from the exhausted looking Teris and back to Hizashi. “Yamada. We’re on patrol. Be quiet.”

Gemstone eyes still filled with concern, Hizashi's mouth slowly closed.  Ears lowering, he let go of Shouta's shoulder.

Shouta glanced at Teris.  Even though his tone and words hadn’t been sharp, he found it telling that Teris didn’t snap at him for snapping at Hizashi.  He was about to ask her if she was okay when a whiff of smoke tickled his nose.  Head lifting, his senses sharpened.

“What? What is it?”  Hizashi’s ears rose and twitched, emerald eyes following Shouta’s gaze.

Sniffing the air, Shouta's eyes scanned the area the gentle breeze was coming from.  The smell was gone and there was no fire or smoke in sight.  He listened but there was nothing, not even the flutter or chirp of a bird, an eerie thing in a mid-growth forest; but considering how loud they, well Hizashi was being, it wasn’t surprising that the area fauna had been scared off.  As for the smell, Shouta wrote it off, figuring it came from the Fourth that was following them, who he assumed to be Hawks.

He sighed, wishing he could do something about Hawks hounding Teris.  But he couldn’t even stop the Anzu if Hawks chose to follow them on every patrol.  Working directly for the Council gave Hawks a ton of leeway, and Shouta little recourse in which to combat and stop him.

“Nothing.” Shouta sighed, again.  He and Hizashi resumed walking side-by-side, leaving Teris to follow.  Thinking it best to keep Hizashi engaged so he wouldn't return to bothering Teris, Shouta murmured.  “Tell me what abilities Oboro is instructing you on.”

“This week he’s been tryin’ to teach me how to summon the wind.”  Hizashi enthused.

Shouta scowled.  “He’s teaching you learned abilities instead of instructing you how to master your natural ones?”

“Learned abilities?”

At Hizashi’s confused expression, Shouta ground out an unintelligible curse. Apparently Oboro hadn’t even taught Hizashi the difference between natural and learned abilities.  He was on the verge of asking Teris if she knew the difference when the barest hint of smoke made his nose itch. Focus shifting, Shouta scanned the area.  He had noticed they were being followed almost as soon as they had left Traverseen Hall; but he was now beginning to wonder if it was Hawks following them. Forgetting about his intention to ask Teris to see if Kai was properly instructing her, Shouta told Hizashi.  “Natural abilities are things every Fourth from a particular species can to do.  Learned abilities are exactly that.  Learned.  Though in most cases learned abilities are still heavily segmented by species.”

Looking back at Teris, Shouta noticed the way she was listening and rightly figured that Kai hadn’t given her such a needful lesson.  Shaking his head, he wondered what Kai was teaching her. Possibly nothing these past three weeks as having release would considerably shorten her time of learning with him; that was unless Kai’s lasting ability was short, Shouta thought with a digging smirk.

Voice rising enough so Teris could hear with ease, Shouta went on. “Take Venti’s for example. All Venti can summon and control the wind.  They can ride and even become the wind.  While it takes time for those abilities to present themselves and effort to master them, they are natural abilities that come with being a Venti. Now I know Oboro can’t do this because he’s complained about it with annoying regularity; but warping is an example of a Venti learned ability.  Unlike natural ability, a Venti must spend time, sometimes countless years, learning how to warp; and if they don’t, then that Venti will never be able to warp.”

“What’s warping?”

Shouta looked back at Teris, steps slowing.

Hizashi, on the other hand, lengthened his stride. Though it was an academic question, he hoped it led to further conversation between Shouta and Teris.  As much as he hated how they used to argue, he hated even more how they currently avoided each other.  All he wanted was for this silliness to end and for them to finally admit their feelings for each other.  Was that too much to ask?

Walking beside Teris, Shouta explained.  “Warping is an advanced form of travel. So long as there’s the barest movement of air, a Venti who can warp can instantly travel to that place no matter how far.”

“Even to Terra?”

“To Terra; or to a locked prison that’s been spelled against entry, so long as they know the location.  Some have even learned how to warp others with them.”

“How many others?”

“Depends on how well the Venti has learned and mastered the ability.”

“What are some Sphinx's learned abilities?”  Teris saw a sadness cast over Shouta’s charcoal eyes and regretted her thoughtless query. “Sorry.  I wasn’t thinking.”

“It’s okay.  I often wonder myself.”  Shouta sniffed, smelling smoke again, but it was gone before he could trace it.  “Thanks to His Purple Highness, I do know of one learned ability that is exclusive to Sphinx’s.  But it’s something I’m still learning to master and leaves me with severely dry eyes when I use it.”

“What is it?”

Shouta shook his head.  He didn’t mind telling Teris, after all she was his— a member of his Ilca.  But he didn’t want to share such information when they were out in the open and whoever was following them could possibly hear.

Thinking Shouta didn’t want to tell her, Teris faced forward, trying to ignore the pang of hurt she felt.

Sensing the change in her, Shouta sighed.  Why was everything always so difficult between them?  No. That wasn’t true.  Numerous occasions had shown that things between them could be easy and fun; it was just that one or both of them would fight it and invariably mess it up.

Looking at her out of the corner of his eye, Shouta reached into his pocket and pulled out a small jar.  “Here.”

Hands closing around the sealed container, Teris’ fingers laid atop his. Shouta stifled a groaning whine.  They hadn’t touched since the night of the Festival, and he hadn’t realized just how much he missed it. Sure they had come in contact during physical training sessions, but that wasn’t the same; and with the way things currently were between them, Shouta made sure there were no lingering touches during that time.

As badly as he wanted this touch to linger, Shouta pulled his hand away.  “Eat that.”

Teris looked at the small glass jar.  “What is it?”

“Nutrient jelly.”

Her nose wrinkled.

“It’s not that bad.”  At her dubious expression, Shouta admitted. “You get used to it.”

“I’d rather not.  Get used to it, that is.”

“I’d rather you not get used to it either.  But unless you keep food in your quarters, you missed supper last and today’s breakfast and lunch, so you’re bound to be hungry.”

I missed yesterday’s lunch too, Teris thought, trying not to think about the reason why.  “Thanks, but I can’t.”

Shouta stared down at the container she held back out to him.  “Why? Think it’s poisoned?”  Eyes shining with humor, he looked at her. “It’d be illogical for me to poison you all the way out here, I’d have to carry you back.”

Teris smirked, nearly chuckling before she stopped herself.  She had fallen for Shouta's humor the night of the Festival and greatly missed the part of him he had shown that night.  But the morning after had proven who Shouta really was, and she wasn’t about to open herself up to more heartache of missing someone who didn’t, or rarely existed.  “It’s yours. You were carrying it for a reason.”

“Exactly.” Shouta nudged the container she held toward her.

They stared at each other a moment, Shouta’s gaze caring and concerned, Teris’ eyes wide as she realized he had brought the meal for her.  The moment was broken by her growling stomach.

Her head ducked, embarrassed.

Shouta smirked, finding the action cute.

“Thanks.” Teris mumbled, eyes lifting back to him.

Caught watching her, Shouta swallowed and looked away.  “Don’t mention it.  You’re,” he quickly thought the words before speaking them, “my Ilca. It’s my job to—“ He stopped, smelling smoke again, though it was the flash of color in the distance that made him frown.

Shouta's eyes narrowed, hackles rising. Hawks was too good at his job to be so easily seen.  So if Hawks wasn’t following them, then who was.

“Shouta? What is it?”  Teris looked in the same direction as him, but her human form eyes didn’t see anything amiss.

Shouta squinted, Sphinx-ly sight barely able to see the movement of a branch going against the breeze.  His sharpened gaze panned the distance; but whoever was following them was somewhat proficient as he couldn’t find them or more tells of their presence.

Not wanting to tip the following Fourth off should they have superior hearing, Shouta kept his conversational volume as he turned back to Teris.  “Nothing. Just not used to patrolling with others.  It’s made me a bit jumpy.”

Before Teris could dispute the excuse, Shouta gave a subtle shake of his head.

At that one communicative movement, adrenaline shot through her.  Her eyes darted to Hizashi; the twenty some odd meters between them feeling like miles.  They had to get to him.  To call him back. If something was wrong.  If someone attacked…  Her spiraling thoughts stilled when Shouta's strong chest pressed against her.  She took a step back, but Shouta's arm wrapped around her, pulling her to him.

His head bent, and for a breathless moment she thought he was going to kiss her.  Her heart raced for a completely different reason.  As much as she wanted him to kiss her, yesterday’s events at Kai’s made her tense and turn her head in shame.

Shouta's lips pressed against her ear.  “There’s stream to the northeast.  Turn your eyes in that direction and show me you know which direction I mean.”

Teris obeyed, breath speeding.

Feeling the rapid rise and fall of her chest, Shouta soothed.  “It’s alright.  I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

“Zashi.” Teris whispered.

“I’ll protect the both of you.  You’re…”  Shouta's eyes closed, face pressing against the side of her head.  You’re mine. “You’re both my Ilca.  I promise I’ll protect you.  You trust me?”

“Yes.” Teris breathed, nodding.

“Good girl.”  Shouta nuzzled her head.  He made himself stop, chastising himself that now was hardly the time.  “The stream is some distance away. Just use the sun and keep going northeast.  I’ll meet you there if not before.”

“Shouta…” Teris gripped his arm, not wanting to leave him.

“It’s just someone following us. Probably Hawks.”  Shouta lied, hating himself, but wanting to put her at ease.  In any case, whoever it was likely wasn’t a problem given their lacking ability to spy unnoticed, and Shouta's anger at seeing Teris so fearful.  “I’ll deal with them and join you shortly.”

He kissed the side of her head, unable to stop himself.  Teris leaned into his warmth, clutching him closer.  Shouta's eyes fluttered closed, losing himself in the feel and scent of her.  A whiff of smoke brought him back.  His head gently bumped hers, an instinctual act of comfort and encouragement.

“Go. Look after Hizashi and see he does the same for you.”

21.2

Though he had planned to follow Aizawa when the Sphinx took his Ilca out on patrol, Dabi’s recent demands required Hawks to stay at Traverseen Hall.

Anxiously waiting for the Council Leader to respond to his request to speak, Hawks paced the expansive floor of his chambers study.  He just hoped that something didn’t happen during today’s patrol that made Teris show some sign of her true form.  He just hoped that the Council Leader agreed to Dabi’s demands and didn’t ask about his progress on figuring out what Teris was.

Hawks glanced at the candle on the desk.  Finding it still unlit, he ran through what he knew of Teris thus far.  She was a pack Beast.  Proud, stubborn and entitled, like most Beasts were.  She tasted far sweeter than she acted, he thought with a smirk, remembering his kiss and her responding bite their first meeting. Her species scent was one he had never smelled; and the list of Beastly species he had met was quite extensive.

He tabled his thoughts on the bracelet Aizawa had spelled in place that was likely muddling and minimizing Teris’ species scent, and continued with his running list of factual known’s. The aura and sense of her told she was of an ancient and powerful species.  And since Aizawa was on his knees before her the night of the Festival, it was safe to say that Teris wasn’t a Beast connected to the land, as Hawks highly doubted Aizawa would deny her the added power that came from participating in the Sowing just so he could to have a taste.

Plucking a large feather from his wing, Hawks swung it like a sword.  “The damned Sphinx spelled that bracelet on her for a reason.  He’s gotta know what she is.”  If only he’d share, Hawks thought.  If only Aizawa would quit making himself so busy and finally meet me for an interview.  His hand tightened around the stem of the long crimson feather.  “I’d wring the information outta him.”  His grip loosened, arm lowering. “Or Aizawa would wring me.” He shivered at the thought, feather returning to his wing.

“Let’s see…”  Hawks rubbed his chin.  “What else do we know.”  His eyes flicked to the candle, making sure it was still unlit.  “She licked the small puncture wound from my talon.”  He shook his head. “But that’s an instinct nearly every Beast has.  Even avian Beast’s do that while in human form.” The only Beast’s that don’t are reptilian, he thought and muttered. “Cold-blooded things.”  At least that scratched her being some kind of reptilian Beast off the list of possibilities. “At least that meant she wasn’t a Dragon.”  He murmured, thinking what a mess that would’ve been. Though from his understanding, Dragon's were a sort of raptor-like reptile even though they and the Sphinx's were the first Beast’s, and therefore had never been Hybrid’s.

He shook his head, focusing.  “When startled, her voice had a sort of melodic chirp and the peach fuzz along her cheeks turned into tiny quills.”  Also her movements became quick and staccato when agitated, something avian Beast’s are well known for, he thought. At other times her movements were fluid and graceful, something else avian Beast’s are known for.  “It’s also something several other types of Beast’s are known for.”  He said, not wanting to become fixated on the idea that she was some type of avian Beast; especially when Dabi had called her a ‘bratty cat’.

“Why did he call her a bratty cat?“ Hawks’ finger brushed his lips, eyes sharpening even as his gaze unfocused. “An avian cat...”

The candle ignited, stalling his contemplation's.  Wings flapping, Hawks leapt over a chair and ottoman.  He noted that the flame was long, which told of the connection’s distance; though thankfully there wasn’t much flickering, which meant the signal was good.

Stopping in front of the desk, he bent, hands on the polished surface.  “Hello?  CL?”

“I told you not to call me that.”  A female voice sounded from the candle’s flame.

“Well, Council Leader is kinda long to say…”

“Hawks.”

Hawks straightened.  “Yes, ma’am?”

“Have you figured out what the female Foundling is?”

Hawks grimaced, glad this method of communication didn’t provide images.  “No, ma’am; but I’m getting close.”

“What about your other mission?  Have you gained entry into the League?”

Hawks grimaced again.  The Council Leader was a hard, difficult to please woman who rarely gave out praise.  Still, to have her immediately pick at his failings with three gruff questions was demoralizing.  “Almost. But I need something.”

“What’s that?”

“They want a book on Dragon’s Eye.”

“The watching stone?”

Hawks’ head perked, having had no clue what such a stone did until now.

“I’m assuming they have a Dragon's Eye stone.”  The Council Leader said.

“I don’t know.”  Hawks expected her to criticize his lack of knowledge, but she didn’t.

“It only stands to reason that they do.  Why else would they want a book on it.  When do you need it by?”

Hawks straightened, surprised.  Was getting this book really that easy?  If that was the case then he should've said the book he wanted on the abilities of Sphinx's was wanted by the League.  Maybe then the Council Leader would've given it to him and he wouldn’t be left nervous and wondering what Aizawa was capable of.

Swallowing his annoyance that the Council Leader would so easily give a highly regulated book to the League but wouldn't let him have one to aid his mission, Hawks glared at the flame. “I need it by end of day.”

“Is that all they want?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

There was a long pause.  The great distance made the communicative candle burn quickly, and it was nearing its end.  Hawks willed the Council Leader to speak.  Such candles were costly as they were difficult to make; or more correctly, difficult to make well.

The Council Leader’s heavy sigh filled the room. “It’s not as if a Dragon’s Eye will let them spy on whoever they want.  The stone is greatly limited.”

Hawks remained silent; having worked for the Council Leader long enough to know she was thinking aloud.

“Fine.” She said, at last.  “You’ll have the book before sundown.  I take it that procuring them this prohibited work will finally see you welcomed into the League.”

Hawks broke out in a cold sweat. “I’m sor— ma’am.  —ou’re faz—out.”  He fractured his words.

“Hawks! Tell me this will get you in the League!”

“Can’t —ear —ou.  Cand— almost —one.”

“Hawks! Hawks!”

Hawks pinched the candles wick, snuffing out the flame.  He had maybe a minute or more on the candle, but the Council Leader didn’t know that.  It wasn’t as if he could tell her that getting this book wouldn’t secure him entry into the League.

His eyes narrowed.  Dabi was using him, clearly.  But the question was, was Dabi using him for the League’s purposes or his own.  Did Shigaraki and the Big Boss know that Dabi had asked him to get a book on Dragon's Eye?  Were they aware that Dabi was going to give the restricted book to Kai?  More importantly, was doing this going to help him earn the League’s trust and be welcomed into it? It wouldn’t if it wasn’t for the League, Hawks thought.

But there was one way to get credit for this even if it wasn’t ordered by Shigaraki and his Master; and that was to write Shigaraki informing him of the great risk he took to get a book on Dragon's Eye, and say he hoped whatever Kai was giving them in exchange was worth it.

Hawks eyed the candle.  There was a little more than a minute for vocal communication; for written, that translated into roughly ninety words.  He could get his message across in ninety words.  The Council Leader said he’d have the book before sundown; that gave him plenty of time to write and send a message to Shigaraki.  He just hoped the book being sent wasn’t overly long.  Granted he had said he needed it by the end of today, that way he would have a full day to read it before needing to pass it on to Dabi; but he’d rather not spend all night and day reading.

Moving the candle aside, Hawks pulled out a parchment and sat down, penning a the letter that would be burned to send to Shigaraki.

21.3

Shouta circled around a line of trees, watching Teris and Hizashi disappear off the trodden trail in the direction of the stream.  They were too far away for Shouta's Sphinx-ly ears to hear the running water; but he knew the narrow creek was there and Teris would find it easily enough.  Even if she and Hizashi somehow got lost in the forest, Shouta would find her; he would always find her.  He shook his head at the possessive thought, telling himself he only felt that way because Teris was part of his Ilca.  But if that were true, why didn’t he feel the same possessive protectiveness over Hizashi?

Because you don’t love Hizashi, his heart hummed. Burying a growl, Shouta forcefully thought, I don’t like Teris. Who said anything about like, his inner-self taunted; love has little to do with like.  Shouta shook his head; it’s illogical to love someone you don’t like.  It’s also illogical to be one-sidedly mated; but you are, his heart argued. Shouta’s eyes closed, trying to ignore his inner being.  But as hard as he tried to ignore and make a case against it, he knew it was true; he was one-sidedly mated to Teris. Just admit your feelings for her, his inner-self told.  You say it’s illogical to love someone you don’t like; but despite your constant attempts not to, you not only love Teris, you like her.

The crunch of leaves drew his attention, and Shouta couldn’t have been more grateful for the distraction that drew him out of his head.  He didn’t care how illogical or blatant the continued denial was, he wasn’t ready to face and admit his feelings for Teris.  His eyes opened, narrowing as a figure came into view.  Possessive protectiveness of Teris, and his ire at his internal conflict made Shouta's hand curl into a fist around his piece, eager to deal with this following Fourth.

The Fourth passed Shouta, oblivious to his presence.

Shouta watched the man continue up the trail, passing the point where Teris and Hizashi had branched off.  The Fourth then stopped several meters ahead and remained immobile, his senses probably tuning in, tracking.  The man then backed-up; his head turned, eyes searching.  The Fourth apparently noticed the couple of stalks of the knee high grass that had been bent when Teris and Hizashi had cut a path toward the northeast; because he stepped in that direction.

Eager as he was to deal with this person, Shouta heaved a weary sigh. Stepping out into the open, his long coiled piece waved in the air, floating above his shoulders.  “I gave you a chance to make the right choice and stop following...”

21.4

“Teris… Ca—can we hold up a moment?” Hizashi panted, trying to keep up with her.

“We’re almost to the stream, Zashi. I can smell the water.”

“But…” Hizashi kicked at a shrub, the surrounding flora literally stretching toward him as if he were the sun. “Get off!  I can’t help you!”

Teris spun around, thinking whoever had been following them had somehow gotten passed Shouta and was attacking Hizashi. Seeing no one but her friend, she exhaled, tension leaving her.  Relief making her somewhat giddy, she quirked an eyebrow and chuckled despite the unnerving situation. “Who are you talking to?”

“The plant.”  Hizashi stepped away from the bush only for the branches of another brush his leg.

“Which plant?”

“All of them!  Gah! That one has a bug on it!”  Hizashi's arms windmilled.  He tripped over a reaching bramble in his backpedaling rush.

“Zashi, calm down.  It’s just a leaf-hopper.” She was about to say they were probably everywhere, but thought better of it.

“It’s a bug!”  Hizashi squeaked, head ducking as the large leaf-hopper jumped to another shrub.  One eye on the leaf-hopper, he pleaded.  “Teris, help.  At least the trail we were on was a younger part of the forest, so the under-story plants weren’t as desperate. But this part of the forest…  It’s in that horrid middle growth where the trees aren’t old enough to stop ground growth but are mature enough to block out enough sunlight to make the smaller plants struggle.  On top of that, this place has had little to no foot traffic in years.  You remember what Shouta said our first patrol about how even forests can go mad when left for too long?”

Teris frowned.  Shouta knew there was a stream in this direction, and he wasn’t wrong, she could smell the water; but if Hizashi was right about this section of the forest being left alone for so long then how did Shouta know of the stream?  Flying over it, perhaps?

She slapped away a twining vine that was climbing over various shrubs and saplings in an effort to reach Hizashi. “What do the plants want from you?”

“Apparently they can sense the growth of power my High Elf side got when I participated in the Sowing with Oboro, and think I can help.”

Teris shook away the images of Shouta that popped into her mind at the mention of the Festival. “Help how?”

“Help them with needed light and nutrients so they can grow and survive.”  Hizashi pulled his leg from a snagging thorn bush, the sound of ripping fabric loud in the quiet forest.

Seeing a streak of blood on Hizashi’s lower pant leg, Teris scowled at the offending shrub. “You okay?”

“Nothing a Fourth's rapid healing ability hasn’t already taken care of.” Hizashi paused, reminded of a question he had early on, on if Teris’ healing ability had been like his before being brought to Oblvi; which is to say faster than a humans but nowhere as fast as it was now.

Teris’ gaze returned to Hizashi. “Proving light and nutrients is something High Elves can do?”

Hizashi nodded. “In regards to plants, it’s something most Elves can do.”

“Well if that’s all they want then do it so they’ll leave you alone.”

“The thing is…”  Hizashi fidgeted.  “I know how to do it, but I can’t control it.  It’s like when I picked the lock the Red Cap was in our first patrol. It might use up too much energy and leave me spent.”

Teris tisked.  “Shouta was right to sound so disapproving about Oboro teaching you learned abilities when you haven’t mastered your natural ones.”

Hizashi had a moment of affronted gladness; mildly hurt and insulted, but also extremely happy that Teris had sided with Shouta on something. That moment ended in an instant as a mass of smoke appeared directly behind Teris.  Hand on his chest, Hizashi's feigned gasp of offense came out as one of startled fear as the mass of smoke coalesced to form a silhouette.

Teris spun around, ready for anything; or so she thought.  Nothing could've prepared her for what she saw; the smokey silhouette solidifying into an all too familiar figure.

“Hey there, Doll.  Miss me?”  Dabi’s turquoise eyes glowed in the shaded forest.

Teris fell back.  She would've fallen over if not for Hizashi’s steadying arms. Her head shook wildly, body trembling uncontrollably.  This couldn’t be happening.  This wasn’t real.  It had to be a dream.  A terrible, awful nightmare.

Hizashi glared at the man before them, Teris’ fright making him angry and protective.  “Who the hell are you?”

“Teris’ tormentor.  But you can call me Dabi.”

Hizashi's teeth bared.  What did the man mean by Teris’ tormentor?

Breathing in Teris’ fear, Dabi looked down at her. “Don’t tell me you’re surprised to see me. You’re a smart little cat.  You had to have known I was a Fourth when they brought you here.”

Yes, Teris thought.  And though she had feared the possibility of eventually seeing him again, she had never imagined it would be like this; with him following her while out on patrol.  Her heart seized, breath catching in her chest. “Sh—Shouta.  Where’s Shouta? What’d you do to him?”

“You mean the Sphinx that was nailing you to a tree the night of the Festival?”  Dabi’s eyes glittered, seeing Teris quake. It didn’t matter that all he had seen of her since her escape was that little bit from that night; Teris didn’t know that.  She would assume he’d been watching her and become all the more fearful.

Breath ragged, Teris’ racing heart drummed in her ears.  Panicked as she was at the thought of her tormentor watching her all this time, she was more anxious about something else.  Shouta. If Dabi was the one Shouta had sensed following them there was no way Shouta would've let him pass to reach them.  Unless…

Eyes wide with fear, Teris stared up at the captor and jailer she’d escaped from.  “What did you do to Shouta? Where is he!”

“I killed him.”  Dabi grinned.

Hizashi’s pointed ears fell. “No.”

Teris’ blood ran cold.  Her eyes prickled with disbelieving tears.  Clutching her chest, her aching heart echoed Hizashi’s single breathed word.  No.  No, it wasn’t possible. Shouta couldn’t be dead.  He just couldn’t.  He was too stubborn and powerful to die.  He had too much left to do. Too much left to teach them. There were too many things left unsaid.  Too many feelings still hidden and ignored.  He meant too much to her...

Dabi laughed at Teris’ clear anguish.

Glaring up at him, time seemed to slow.  Teris’ senses heightened.  She saw the minute scaling of Dabi’s burned skin that hinted at his true form.  She heard a dried Fall leaf break from a branch and sail to the ground.  She smelled Shouta's comforting scent from where he had nuzzled against her head. She smelled Hizashi’s fear and distress.  Hizashi…  Shouta had told her to protect him. She couldn’t lose herself to agony and dismay when Hizashi needed her. Shouta would be angry if she failed to follow such an important order.

Snapping out of her tortured trance, Teris shook her head, refusing to believe Shouta was dead.

Just as time had seemed to slow, time sped up, several things happening at once.

“No!” Teris shrieked, the sound far from human.

Dabi’s wicked laugh cut short at the piercing cry. His eyes widened, Teris’ features sharpening. She lashed out, feathers appeared along her neck and in her hair.

Dabi’s arm raised.  He grunted, Teris’ talons slicing through his flesh, nicking the bone.

Teris saw Dabi’s other arm lift, his hand stretched out.  She knew what was coming, but didn’t care.  She had had enough.

Questions and comments are always appreciated.

Thank you to those who have left hearts. And a special thank you to those who have left comments and/or reblogged. They really mean a lot.

And as always, an extra special thank you to @inorganicone2230​ who knows of my love for the mythic and encouraged me to start this fic without stressing about the other two I’ve got going.  Your friendship means the world to me.

[harveywritings92]

Father! Connor and Reincarnated! Modern reader! PT. 4

Seems you were right in your prediction however the scenario was vastly different then what happened in the game, Connor wasn't in the basement being shown the rope dart, Achilles had shown him that, the day before, Currently the assassin had you sitting in a highchair trying to feed you this bright orange mush which you suspected to be carrots or yams. 

Either way you weren't to enthusiastic to try it as your dad's cooking skills were.. let's just say you rather eat burnt popcorn... But soon you gave in as he kept doing the puppy dog eyes, with a heavy heart you opened your mouth waited for whatever beetroot and cabbage concoction he'd thought up to for today's menu.

Only to be greeted by a rich creamy sweetness, causing you to squeal with glee and bonce in your chair. "Wabo! ubar!" You babbled excitedly as Connor chuckled at your reaction giving you another spoon full. "You like it, I had I known I would've went through Miss Abigail's recipe book earlier." He hummed catching some of the baby food dribbling down your chin.

*Thank-you granny Abby, you are my angle!" you babbled away, Achilles often talked about his wife to you often stating if she were still here she would've love you like a granddaughter, Connor looked around making sure no one was around before dropping his stone face and unwinding into a giant goofball. 

"O tsi seksa’tí:io " {You are so cute!}

"Na...um" * That I am Daddy-O, that I am... * 

"Can you say kwé kwé?{hello}..." 

"Bwa?" *If I do. can I have some more sweet pump-tato mush?*

Connor kept trying to coax you to talk, not noticing Kanen'tó:kon walking in with Achilles the old man shook head at the assassin's antics while the confused native beside him just stared wide and slacked jaw at what he was witnessing before him. 

"Ratonhnhaké:ton?" Connor let out this not so manly yelp; nearly leaping out of his chair when he heard his best friend's voice behind him, he cleared his throat and straightened himself up and awkwardly turned to greet his friend, who was looking at him strange.

The assassin stood up putting you food down out of your reach, causing you to fuss and make grabby for the bowl "Um...y-Y/n...  Kheién:’a" [My daughter]" Connor stammered out to his friend who was even more confused. "Oh niiawenhátie?? {what is going on??}" Kanen'tó:kon started but shook his head remembering why he was there.

Immediately informed Connor of Jonson's plan much to you dad's shock after all they destroyed all that tea, the natives were discussing what to do and were were almost out the door, You heard Achilles yell at Connor for embedding a tomahawk in one the porch columns, Connor explained it's meaning briefly coming back inside kissed your head and went into mission mode.   

Normally your goodbye was to laugh and clap, but your frustration being denied lunch was finally at it's boiling point, you gathered all your baby might and cried out "Dah-deeee!!" the was tense silence as Achilles and Kanen'tó:kon watched Connor curious of what he'll do, while you repeated Dah-de a few times wondering if he had heard. 

*Hey, Dad I just said my first word... Yay?* You stared at his back expectantly, the assassin didn't say a word he silently pulled his hood up kept walking, leaving you hurt and confused. "That's something you'll have to get used to my dear." Achilles stated somberly as he  finished up feeding you. Suddenly the pumpkin didn't taste as sweet anymore...  

On the way to Jonson hall was quiet one that was until Kanen'tó:kon spoke up. "Are you okay?" he asked observing his friend's body language it was tense and puppet like. "yes I am fine." Connor said curtly as his friend thought back to the expression on his friend's face when that child called him father.

Kanen'tó:kon felt his stomach flop when he realized what was bothering Ratonhnhaké:ton."Was that her first-" he was cut off by the taller man "I don't want to think about that right now." the assassin hissed trying to keep his mind focus on the mission and keep his family life in a place separate.

Two years in the future.

Y/n is three was sitting out on the porch pretending to play. Achilles was in New York; Connor had been arrested you knew he had been, He talked about Hickey before he left, You felt your stomach churn as you placed a green block on...to be honest you had no bloody idea what the fuck you were building!

It started out as copy of the manor, but now it looked like a rainbow colored Eldritch monstrosity, with a frustrated huff your tiny fist took a swing; knocking all the blocks over, your lips formed a pout as you wondered if Connor was alright, then looked over at Godfrey who was napping on the bench, he been asked by his wife to keep an eye on you, while she and Diana tended to their son and Miriam who were both sick with a cold.  

Y/n threw a block at his belly making sure he was really asleep, when he didn’t flinch Y/n cautiously stood up making sure not to step on creaky boards and toddled off the porch, and into the front yard where Connor's dog Fran immediately started whimpering at seeing Y/n walking around and started following. "No Fwanny." you huffed not wanting to play with her right now, the dog suddenly let out persistent bark, it wasn't until a shadow casted over you tiny form did you realize she wasn't barking at you. 

You thought Godfrey had woken up and were in in for it, you swallowed cautiously looked behind you and felt your throat go dry. It was Connor! and damn he looked like hell, you winced seeing the rope marks on his neck and how worn out he looked. Y/n felt sick as she managed to whimper "Dadd-" Before she could finished Connor had swept her up into a tight hug; nearly knocking the wind out of her tiny lungs, Y/n instinctively went to wrap her arms around his neck, but then felt Connor tense up and remembered the bruising she clung to his shoulder instead.

"Daddy sad?" You asked placing a tiny hand on his cheek seeing what looked tears threating to fall, Connor took a breath. "No, I'm not sad Teri, I just missed you." he assured giving you a kissed on the forehead, Just then Godfrey came bounding in the front yard like a bat out of hell. "Y/n lass! where are-" He sighed in relief seeing you in Connor's arms but then noticed your dad's condition. 

"Connor? Good God lad. what hell happened to ya?" He demanded with fatherly concern as he help the native man inside, Achilles filled everyone in with a fake story that Connor was arrested with a gang of counterfeiters simply because he was in the same pub as them and was nearly killed for their crimes until his friends Stephane & Duncan managed to pay his bail and cleared things up.

Speaking of which Y/n curiously glanced over Connor's shoulder to see said men fallowed after Connor both of whom seemed very surprised to find out their mentor was a father, she could hear the two of them whispering amongst themselves.

Something about how all those child rearing questions Connor was asking Zenger made sense now? they stopped when and noticed you staring at them curiously and immediately your face felt hot and tried to hide behind Connor's shoulder. "Sorry, she's cautious around strangers." Connor explained as his recruits waved it off.

"She' beautiful mon ami, But I could've sworn you told us you were unmarried?"

"I'm not married, Y/n is my daughter, but not by blood."

"...then her family is, Oh I see, was it the Templars?” 

"I suspect so...I believe her father may aligned with them. "

Connor said briskly as he placed Y/n her in her room closing a small wooden gate Lance installed so she wouldn't wander off, said toddler tensed when she heard this *Hold up what? my birth father's a Templar?!* you mentally stalled as you tried to process this, before standing and rushing toward the baby gate shaking it trying to get his attention. *Come back! Come back!* you mentally begged but it was all in vain; once Connor goes assassin mode there was no coming back till his job was complete. With that Y/n sighed and went back to playing with her toys.

[Teri is short for Terì:teri, it  means Blue Jay in Mohawk, it's Connor's nickname for you.]

[tunakaslana]

Aftermath fanfic after Hua's awakening

Kiana and Doodoo thing I wanted to do for a while now.

——————————

It was afternoon, most Schicksal staffs and Valkyrie are busy on carrying out their assigned tasks and missions. The hallways are almost empty if you exclude those doctors and researchers going around doing their things.

Kiana has been strolling around Schicksal, there really isn't anything she could do. Ever since she became the acting Overseer after she was met by Durandal when they got back Fu hua in Taixuan, her dull days just became duller.

Ever since Otto's "death" or disappearance, the higher council of Schicksal is in shambles. They need an Overseer, or an acting Overseer, to keep thing in path until Otto comes back. Theresa, the only Apocalype existing beside from Otto (even though it's only by name), is already considered as traitors of Schicksal and was already exiled from it. A Schariac would be a rather lesser choice than Theresa since to the eyes of most, they are nothing but guinea pigs to the Apocalypse family if not given credit for the "Holy blood" their house possess.

Don't even get me started with the Kaslanas, Schicksal looks at them like Schariacs, but a bit more. Main thing is because of Kaslanas' strong Honkai adaptability. They fear Kaslanas due to it and you caould trace it back during Kallen's era.

Durandal, not being able to bare seeing the disarray in Schicksal anymore, decided to sought for the best possible candidate as Overseer. Schicksal is a very traditional organization and would only choose candidates as Overseer within the three Houses.

Kiana Kaslana, or K-423, would be it. Even as a clone, she still holds relations between the Houses of Schariac and Kaslana, also the indirect connection between her and the Apocalypse after being regarded as Otto's creation. She more or less represent the 3 families on her own.

As Durandal was in the HQ database, looking for information on Anti-Entropy bases and possible locations for Kiana Kaslana, a large spike of Honkai Energy, roughly reaching 6000 HW was recorded in Eastern Asia within the Eurasian Plate. That amount of Honkai Energy released is similar to a Honkai Eruption taking place.

As much as the leadership issues in Schicksal is important, they can't ignore the possible birth of a new Herrscher.

Durandal assigned the other Immortal Blades that can still be deployed to her team that is going to go to the location of the spike. Rita and the other Immortal Blades that are severly injured during the Honkai Eruption in Coral City are still healing.

When they got to the location of the spike, which is located in the northeastern part of Shenzhou, what they saw is simply not what they expected.

In the coordinates they went, they saw the former Schicksal Agent that should be dead, a former Schicksal Valkyrie, and the person Durandal is looking for, Kiana Kaslana.

Eyes were thoroughly inspecting the surrounding, wondering what caused such spike and where it is now. Durandal speculated that it is from the person she fought in Schicksal that has a similar appearance with Fu hua. She asked Kiana and those present, aside from her squad, where is the Herrscher.

"The Herrscher is contained, it's now a hostless consciousness. It won't cause anymore damage. Her location is also unknown to us."

Judging from Fu hua's words, she ordered the Immortal blades to clear the Honkai Beasts around the area and return immediately to Schicksal to assist on damage control in the HQ.

She looked back to the group and it seems that the girl with a robotic phantom is now fine. She approached Kiana.

"May I have a word with you Ms. Kaslana? Private if possible."

"What is it about now? Fu hua and Bronya deserves a hear on whatever discussion we'll have.."

Durandal expected as much, but still decided to go on.

"It's about Schicksal's leadership... Overseer Otto is still missing, we're conducting a search operation within all of Schicksal's branches and other possible locations. As of now, no traces has been found on where he could have went or an act of kidnapping was done."

"I still don't see the reason why I'm concerned with this matter.."

A long silence ensued the group before Durandal decided to speak up.

"You are to act as an Acting Overseer until Overseer Otto is found. Feudal order in Schicksal will disarray if none will lead them."

The three were shocked by what Durandal had delivered. Fu hua decided spoke up.

"Even so, Otto has a council with enough capabilities to lead Schicksal even if he was gone, don't tell me they had fallen too?"

"Sadly... That seems to be the case."

Kiana pulled Fu hua and Bronya out of Durandal's earshot and conversed in whispers.

"Hey, don't you think this is a good a offer? I mean, surely, being an Overseer grants them access on all files and data around Schicksal and--"

"And you plan to fish out information in them while acting as Overseer?"

"Bingo!"

"Never knew Kiana Idiotka could think of that."

"Hey!"

"Anyway, that's also an advantage for our side. Otto still has many things hidden in the shadow, it would be good if we were to uncover even some of it."

"Da, Bronya will go back to AE to tell them and Theresa what happened here, I assume both of you will head to Schicksal?"

"Uh huh, tell aunt Teri that Kiana will be fine, she has Fu hua with her."

"Da, I will tell the rest of the details to Theresa. You should talk to Durandal now, I'll be heading to the Helios."

Bronya got better thanks to Kiana healing her. She then went to Helios to go back to AE.

Fu hua and Kiana walked to Durandal to discuss about the rest of the matter. Kiana agreed on becoming Overseer until Otto is found under the condition Fu hua will be with her. Durandal accepted her conditions and the three of them headed to Schicksal HQ to ready Kiana with the other things she needed to learn.

——————————

Kiana continued to wander around the base. She eventually found herself in the garden. There are benches in the garden, she's already walking too much for 1 day so she settled on one of them.

Fu hua is normally with her but she has things to take care of, something about keeping something away from human sight. It's been 2 weeks and still no signs of Otto.

Waaaah-- is there even anything left to do? I already signed off the paperworks Amber gave me

The white haired knight looked up to the clouds that are moving far too close in her vision. Maybe it's because of boredom? She got far too distracted in the clouds to even notice someone approaching her.

"Thought I could found you here."

The sudden rise of volume behind Kiana made her jump from her position. She looked up to see the owner of the said voice.

"Ah Durandal, you're already back, how did the mission went?"

"Smooth as ever, the Honkai in that area has been contained. We also managed to get some piece of info on what might be the cause of it."

"Is that so? I'll look into it later."

Kiana moved to side a bit and patted the space beside her. Durandal eventually occupied the seat beside Kiana.

Both of them sat in silence, staring at the sky above their heads.

"Sometimes, I wonder why you chose me as an acting Overseer, you never really told me anything aside from it being a wise choice and such."

The blond pondered a bit on the words of the woman beside her.

"Hmn, because you could make a wise decision. Our conversation back then when you where held by Schicksal when I captured you is enough. It's rare to see something bright in a world full of gray.."

"Mmmhm"

"Did that answer your question?" Durandal looked at the eyes of the person beside her as if seeking for her approval.

Kiana stood up and patted Durandal's head.

"Mah, mostly, anyway, that's enough deep talk for today, we should head back, the sun is already setting"

Kiana flashed Durandal a smile as she held her hand out to the blond. Durandal accepts it as she stood up.

Durandal then remember something.

"Oh right"

"Eh? Something wrong?"

"Not something like that. Rita asked me to invite both you and Fu hua for dinner tonight. Will you be available tonight?"

"If it's me, I am.. I don't know about Fu hua since she's still taking care of some things, but expect me to come later! What time should I go?" Kiana then brought a finger to her chin.

Durandal smiled a bit on Kiana's acceptance, "Around 7 would be sufficient."

"Alrighty, we should head back now, it's already 5:39."

This hand... Felt so familiar.. yet why can't I remember a thing?

Both of them left the garden, walking side by side with Kiana still holding Durandal's hand....

[tailorvizsla]

A Proper Mandalorian Courtship - Chapter 2

Title: Hurt, Healing, Help Pairing: Paz x OFC, OFC x OMC Word Count: ~2350 Rating: MA Warnings: Cursing, canon-typical violence, crack humor that’s also serious Chapters::Ch 1 | Ch 3 | Ch 4 | Ch 5

📚 My Master List 📚 

Notes: This chapter contains potentially triggering material. Warnings for: mentions of past child abuse, past violence, and a lot of cursing. No graphic details, just a passing mention of certain situations that have occurred. The flashback occurs ~ten years before the story is currently happening.

Also, your nickname is Shu'shika. It means tiny disaster. I've been trying to format the HTML for this update on AO3 for two hours now, I don't think I can handle any more of the text popups right now. Also posted on AO3, where you can hover over the stuff in Mandoa or unfamiliar terms to see translations and notes. 

(See the end of the chapter for more notes and translations. Also let me know if you want to be tagged or something. @mandalorerose I am so sorry, pls don’t goor me from the server.)

[flashback]

The bright sunlight fills the clearing, bringing a touch of warmth to the smoky, frosty morning air. High up in the trees, the birds flit from branch to branch, watching the proceedings with unabashed curiosity. Occasionally, tiny creatures fight amongst themselves, scolding each other with a flurry of chirps.

Grinning, Paz sidesteps Neten’s blow easily, clamping down on his bracer tightly. Using the other man’s momentum, Paz latches onto Neten’s extended arm and pulls hard, causing him to lose his balance. Once he stumbles forward, Paz gives him a good shove, sending him careening forward into the soft grassy earth. A low ‘ooh’ goes up from the crowd as Neten trips and slams into the ground with a heavy thud. Paz nods, holding back, giving Neten enough time to recollect himself.

“Nice form, good strength,” Paz says, to encourage the younger man. “Let’s go through it one more time. Then we’ll break for water.”

“Sounds good, alor'ad,” Neten says.

“Swing at me,” Paz orders. “And I’ll show you the best way to…”

He trails off when he receives notification that his door alarm has been disabled. His brow furrows as he considers it for a few moments. Neten falters.

“Uh, you still with us, alor'ad?” Neten asks.

“Yeah, sorry,” Paz said. “Swing at me.”

Paz recently upgraded the locking mechanism to keep the kids out of his candy stash. He does not mind sharing, but when six kilos of candy disappear in one week, he has to put his foot down. That, or the other parents would strangle him. Paz shakes away the feeling of unease and catches Neten’s fist in his. Grasping firmly, he halts Neten’s attack, freezing him in place.

“You’re trying to build up momentum from too far away. See how this leaves you open while you're swinging? Get in a bit closer,” Paz says, showing Neten how his previous attack left him vulnerable with a solid blow to the gut. “Stick a bit closer and – “

The door chime goes off again. Then it disables itself a second time. Zeli said she would be busy helping in the kitchen today. Paz frowns.

“Uh, right. When I push you forward, roll into the fall,” Paz says. “It’ll give you some space to work. Now, try it again.”

Neten swings a third time. Paz pushes him harder this time. Instead of falling, Neten curls his body forward and rolls into the fall. He comes up on his feet, but quickly loses his balance. He falls over.

“Shit,” Neten sighs.

“Just takes practice,” Paz says. “Get up, you’ll get it right.”

After walking him through the proper counter a few times, Neten finally manages to roll directly onto his feet and absorb the momentum with his knees. Then Paz turns to the crowd.

“Partner up,” he says. “Neten, you partner up with Fen.”

As he assigns partners, he chooses to place the most advanced fighters with the novices to ensure they teach the others. Paz finds he still cannot shake that weird feeling in his gut. Something nags at him until he decides to go investigate.

“Revala,” he says. “Keep an eye on these idiots for a minute?”

“Sure thing alor'ad,” she says, coming forward. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah…I just need to check on something,” he says. “No more than a few minutes. If they give you any backtalk, you have my full permission to make them run until they drop.”

“Yes, sir,” Revala exclaims gleefully as she turns back to their drilling vod, “Alright, losers, I’m in charge, and I’m going to make you suffer.”

“Gaa’tayl, alor'ad!” someone yelps.

Rousing laughter fills the clearing at the plea for help.

“K’atini!” Paz snaps over his shoulder. Wimps.

He turns toward the entrance to the hideout. Their current home is situated deep in a granite canyon. It was at one point some sort of pirate bolt hole, but over the decades, other Mandalorians had come and gone, making the space larger and adding some basic furniture. It is cramped, but it is well-hidden and easy to defend. Not only that, the family quarters have separate showers, a perk he does not hesitate to abuse. He makes his way down the main hallway, avoiding the fistfight between Din and Terys.

“If you two are going to slap each other like whiny little aruetiise, do it outside,” Paz snaps.

“He ate my uj’ayali,” Din snaps in response. “I was saving that, you dickhead – “

“I didn’t eat your fucking uj’ayali,” Terys grunts as he elbows Din in the side.

Paz shakes his head and continues toward the living quarters. Winding through the hallways, he finds himself surrounded by a throng of scuffling children. He breaks it up with a firm growl and sends the guilty parties to time-out. At long last, he comes to his door. As his hand hovers over the pad, he feels that sense of dread worsen, like a block of lead has suddenly materialized in his belly.

Paz almost hesitates, but he pushes forward. Something isn’t right here. He types in the code and watches as the door silently unlatches and swings open. He steps into the living area, his feet heavy and uncooperative. That feeling in his gut warns him to stay silent.

When he sees Zeli’s boots on the floor, he frowns.

He sees the second pair, hidden just out of sight, at the same time he hears Zeli’s cry. Paz inhales sharply and turns toward the bedroom, thinking that someone is actively forcing themselves on his beloved.

“Yes, Liam!” she cries out, stopping him in his tracks.

Paz can only stare, his stomach roiling violently at the sight of the two figures entwined under the light sheets. For several seconds, he stands there, frozen. Taking in the sights and sounds of their lascivious coupling. The wet slap of sweaty flesh meeting and Zeli’s throaty, animalistic keening. The way her short pink nails dig into Liam’s shoulders. The way he fervently fucks into Zeli, repeating what Paz had done with her just hours before.

“Oh, gods, Liam! Harder, h-harder!” she sobs, her sinewy body arching under his.

“Ni copaani hailir gar,” he pants. “Gedet’ye, cyare."

From here, he can see her digging her heels into his backside. The raised red welts she has left along his spine and shoulders. The livid bite marks along her shoulders.

As the harsh, unpleasant shock starts to set in, he feels his lips and face go numb, a deafening roar filling his ears. His chest tightens as he tries to tear himself away from the lurid scene, only for his gaze to land on the couch.

They had placed their helmets on the seat - her cherry-red helmet next to his deep grey helmet, the forehead ridges pressed together in a sweet kiss. As if to mock him. Paz turns his stinging eyes to the low table. The pieces of their armor are arranged neatly on the table. It is clear to him that the lovers had taken turns stripping each other, piece by piece.

This is not an act of drunken, frenzied passion.

This is a deliberate act of practiced intimacy.

In the years Paz and Zeli have been a couple, building their future together, she has not once asked him to use blindfolds. She has never once asked to break down that one last barrier keeping them from tasting each other’s lips for the first time. Yet here she is, fucking one of their closest friends in his bed. All while stringing him along with the promise that they will be one, that they will remove their helmets for each other for the first time on their wedding night.

How many times has Zeli allowed him to debauch her in their bed? In the same bed where Paz professed his love for her for the first time? The same haven where they spent countless hours in each other’s sweat-slick arms, fantasizing about the warriors they would eventually gift the tribe? How many times has he run his fingers along her breasts and inadvertently dragged his fingers through the dried remnants of another man’s sweat and saliva?

Revolting nausea fills him, that numb feeling creeping through his entire body, leaving him feeling so empty and cold. As his hands begin to shake, he clenches them into fists at his sides, his breath coming in shuddering pants as he struggles to not fucking sob. Bile rises in his esophagus, leaving his throat feeling bloody and raw.

Why?

Why?

The question keeps chasing itself through his thoughts as the agonizing knot in his chest threatens to tear him apart. He hears a giggle from the bed as Zeli flips Liam onto his back, the sheets shifting to reveal the delectable curve of her lower half, plump and succulent as she starts to bounce on his cock.

“Come in me, cyare,” she purrs to him.

“A-are you sure? You’re not - not - contraceptive – “

“Paz won’t know,” Zeli laughs. “He’s desperate for kids.”

Those words are the catalyst for his rage, like a lit match dropped into a barrel of volatile jet fuel.

Incandescent rage unfurls explosively in his chest, evaporating the cold sorrow that had once filled him in an instant. He feels his blood pressure and heart rate spike, leaving his vision thin and black and pulsating at the edges. Paz takes one menacing step toward the doorway, his entire body trembling as he struggles to contain the inner maelstrom of hatred.

It would be so, so easy for him to make them suffer, to make them feel the bone-deep agony they have inflicted on him. All he has to do is step into the bedroom. Look at their faces. Break the blood-oath of secrecy they had sworn to uphold a second time. By seeing their faces, he is a witness to their identities, and they will not be given the option to marry.

With just a few more steps, he can destroy them; he can take away everything and everyone they have ever loved. He can make Zeli’s worst nightmare a reality – she will lose her father, her sisters, and her friends. She will have only her lover by her side. Liam will be declared dar’buir by proxy. They will both be exiled in their dishonor and shame.

Suddenly, he sees Zephyr’s gap-toothed, mischief-filled grin and he comes to a grinding halt.

Zephyr was broken when Liam had found him huddled in the burnt-out husk of his ancestral home. Raiders had tortured his family and forced him to watch as they were killed, one by one. After they had taken their amusement, they had beaten Zephyr, leaving the young boy to die alone in the wastes. It was only by pure fortune that Liam had seen the smoke and gone to investigate, thinking it was his prey.

Instead, he had found a mute six-year-old boy wrapped in a ragged, blood-stained blanket, his tiny, emaciated frame covered in a multitude of bruises and lacerations. It took three years of love from the Tribe for the boy to speak again. After those first words, Zephyr had risen from the ashes of his shell, soaring like the celestial starbird.

Zephyr had finally found his voice and his manda, bringing life and light back into his eyes.

His gut wrenches and a new type of agony lances through his heart. It pierces him, wounding him so deeply he physically cannot breathe. He bites down hard on the sides of his tongue to stifle the sob threatening to escape his throat. His teeth break skin and the taste of copper fills his mouth. Paz cannot do it. He cannot be the reason Zephyr has to relive the loss of his family.

He will not be the reason the light leaves Zephyr’s eyes again. No amount of agony inflicted upon him - a grown man - could ever justify harming an innocent child for the sake of revenge.

Paz forces himself to exhale. Blinking, the tears finally fall, burning their way down his cheeks before finally soaking into his beard. Stiffly, he makes his way back to the couch and picks up their helmets, taking Zeli’s in his left and Liam’s in his right.

Acrid bitterness fills the shattered remains of his heart as he looks down at Zeli’s helmet. The paint on the forehead ridge has worn away from the many passionate kisses they have shared. Cynically, he wonders how much of that paint was worn away by Liam. How many embraces have they shared behind his back? How many times have they bared their fucking souls to one another in his bed?

Paz turns back to the door and exits, leaving the couple to their tryst. As the door clicks shut behind him, he suddenly feels intense exhaustion, his armor suddenly becoming stifling and heavy. Each breath feels like tar in his lungs as he leans heavily against the wall opposite the door.

“Hey, Paz,” Din says, coming toward him. “Bad news. Your idiots outside managed to set something on fire – “

Seemingly sensing something wrong, Din comes to a halt an arm span away. He leans forward slightly, coming to his side, in a show of brotherly concern.

“Ori’vod,” Din says softly. “Are you okay?” Paz draws in a great, gasping breath, his gaze still fixed on the door.

“Not in the least bit, vod,” he admits hoarsely, his voice breaking.

Din looks down at the helmets in his hands and comes to the only logical conclusion. He hisses through his teeth.

“I will drag them to the Foundry like the worthless fucking hut’uun they are,” Din hisses, his fingers flexing as he takes a step toward the door.

“No,” Paz says immediately, shaking his head.

“Why the fuck not?” Din demands sharply, his voice rising to an angry roar. “They betrayed the Oath, Paz!”

“Din, keep your voice down,” Paz says, ushering him away from the door and toward the Foundry. “I know what they did.”

“He called you his brother,” Din snaps angrily. “She called you her intended. They are liars, they broke their Oaths - !”

“Zephyr,” Paz says, his voice cracking again. “I don’t want to risk…”

The rage leaves his brother in an instant. He deflates like a wilted desert orchid. Din sighs gustily, looking between him and the door.

“What can I do to help, vod?” Din asks quietly.

“Just keep people away from me for a while,” Paz utters. “Armorer…she will know what to do.”

Gods, he prays she knows what to do.

“Absolutely,” Din says, clapping him on the shoulder. “I’ll always be here, ori’vod.”

Paz swallows thickly and nods, not trusting himself to speak. When he has regained control over his legs, he starts the long walk to the Forge. Each step feels like he is scaling some sheer cliff, the air thin and frosty in his lungs. Din runs interference, keeping the people trying to get his attention at bay. Pausing, he closes his eyes and considers what he is about to do.

Aliit maan bal solus kyr’yc.

He knows what the right thing to do is. Paz just does not know if he can do it.

For the first time in his life, he finds himself questioning his faith.

-

-

-

[current]

Armorer is in the middle of brewing a pot of her favorite tea when she hears footsteps in the Foundry. She looks up and sees Paz poking his head around the main doorway. That simple gesture brings back many memories of their earlier years together. Armorer has left the door to her private quarters open, the curtain drawn back, inviting those in need of guidance into her home.

She reaches for a second cup just as he reaches to knock on the door frame. Even though they’ve been family for nearly three decades, he still insists on knocking.

“Paz, join me,” she says.

He steps inside, ducking his head in a polite, respectful greeting.

She turns back to the chipped tea pot. Their new Tribe introduced them to the concept of tea, and now, she indulges every afternoon. Paz joins her and pulls a metal straw out from his gauntlet.

“What brings you here, Paz?” she asks, as the scent of the hot, spiced tea permeates the air. 

He stares down at the cup, tension filling his massive frame.

“I wanted to ask your advice on something,” he says in a serious tone.

She remains silent, her brow furrowing.

“I’ve taken an interest in a woman,” he says. “And I want to ask her to be my partner. I want to know more about proper courtship traditions.”

It is only through years of experience and training that she does not jerk in surprise. She takes a moment to gather her thoughts. She is somehow surprised and not surprised at the same time. He has gotten to that age where a hunter starts staying at home for longer periods of time to teach their skills to the next generation. Although he is also bound to be lonely, she cannot recall him mentioning a partner.

She knows her friend, and she knows he will not entertain the idea of a serious relationship without the promise of marriage. After what the aruetiise had done to him, he had thrown himself into the hunt, turning his back to the possibility of marriage. Or anything long-term, really. The wounds were so deep she did not think he would ever fully heal.

He – like the rest of their kind – has been shaped from birth by hardship and struggle. He has had to fight for the victory of every single sunrise. Despite the crushing setbacks in his personal life, Paz has held his head high, always teetering on the edge of fully reaching mandokar - the ideal virtues of a Mandalorian warrior. It is that lost lust for life that has held him back all these years.

Now, he is ready to move forward, to hunger for each moment and experience in his life. Throughout the years, Armorer has seen glimpses of the warrior he could become. He is on that path now. Her heart fills to the point of overflowing for him.

She nods once.

“You know of our Tribe’s tradition of exchanging blades before the vows are spoken,” Armorer says.

Paz nods.

“What about here?”

“Alor Dezha has remarked that the Elders prefer to publicly acknowledge that the vows have been exchanged before the wedding night physically occurs. They typically do this as part of the wedding feast. Ultimately, it is your decision. You may choose one, both, or neither. As you know, we make do with with what we have. We do not have rigid rules in place.”

“That’s less complicated than I thought it would be,” he responds. “Nevertheless, I want to do this the right way for her. I think I’d like to do both.”

She is truly pleased with the news. If he is interested in entering the riduurok there is a chance he is also interested in rearing offspring. He will make an excellent spouse, parent, and teacher.

The youngest child here is eight years old. In just a few years, he will be fitted for his armor, and he will no longer be a child. Armorer and many others have expressed the desire to hear more little feet in the hallways. Hopefully, Paz will continue doing what he does best – inspiring and encouraging others through his leadership and his unwavering dedication to the Resol’nare.

Perhaps the other Hunters will begin reconsidering their unwed statuses so they may finally begin to increase their numbers once more.

Paz fidgets with his cup for a moment, breaking her from her reverie.

Now, she must satisfy her curiosity.

“Who has caught your attention?” the Armorer asks, keeping her tone casual and light, even as her thoughts whirl with plans for the feast and bonfire celebration.

Her thoughts then leap to naming ceremonies, but she restrains herself. They will need time to settle in as a married couple before producing or finding children.

“I want Shu’shika."

Armorer blinks in response.

“Shu’shika has caught your attention,” she confirms, carefully keeping her voice neutral, to give herself time to think of an appropriate response.

“Yes. How do we go about this courtship business, then?"

How unorthodox. Yet, as she considers it, she can see why he wants you. Paz has always appreciated the company of those who put the Tribe before themselves, and you are no exception. If a hunter or child has need, you will forego sleep to ensure they are properly cared for. Nothing will keep you from caring for those around you. Your dedication and loyalty to the Tribe will never be contested. With extra training, Armorer can see you shaping up into a halfway decent warrior in time.

“What exactly do you wish to know, Paz?” she asks curiously.

“How?”

Armorer blinks, though he cannot see it. She had not been ambiguous.

“What do you mean how?”

“How do I convince her to agree to courtship?” he clarifies, giving her what she interprets as an expectant look.

A furrow forms between her brows as she stares at her companion. Based on the rampant, unbridled scuttlebutt, there is no shortage of available and willing partners for a hunter of his stature and skill. She herself had once harbored an attraction to him, though that had been roughly two decades ago when she was just a feral, hormone-riddled teenager with far more free time than common sense.

“Most people start by asking their interest out on a date,” Armorer says slowly.

“A date,” he repeats.

Armorer almost sighs. Perhaps she had overestimated Paz’s general intelligence level.

“A date is an activity wherein two individuals assess their mutual compatibility and – “

“Armorer, I know what a date is. What does that even have to do with courtship?”

"Courtship is dating, Paz, but with the intent to marry, and no carnal relations."

"Oh. That makes sense. And how do I get her to agree to this?"

“How do you normally secure your partners?” she asks bluntly.

Paz recoils ever so slightly.

“I have only had a handful of one-time arrangements…since…”

Well. That is unexpected.

“Paz, you must simply ask,” she responds. “You are one of our best hunters. There are many who are interested in having you as a partner. I am certain she will be flattered by your request.”

“…but how? I haven’t asked anyone out on a date in eighteen years,” Paz says. “I honestly don’t know what people do on dates nowadays.”

“Just ask her to accompany you on an outing,” she responds.

“So, like…shooting? Do people even still go shooting on the first date?”

“Just pick something you know she enjoys,” Armorer says, faintly annoyed.

“Alright, I can do that,” he says. “One more question, Armorer.”

“What is it?” she asks.

Despite her affection for the older man, she is unable to keep the annoyance out of her body language. Maybe the age-old Mandalorian saying still holds true today: three braincells for the entire Tribe and the Alor holds two of them for safekeeping. However, Alor Dezha is a Hunter down to the marrow in his bones...perhaps it would be best to leave the braincells in the possession of a Tradesperson, where they won't risk being eaten.

“You’re a woman, aren't you? So, tell me: what do you ladies like on dates?”

She is so offended and incredulous that she splutters indignantly at him. As she struggles to come up with a proper retort, she becomes aware of his shoulders shaking.

She tightens her jaw. He always has been able to get under her plating to chafe at her like no one else. If anyone else had grown the balls to ask her something like that, she would not have hesitated to put her hammer through their skull.

“Paz, get the hell out of my room.”

He erupts into boisterous guffaws as he thumps his fist onto the table.

“Would you want chocolates? Flowers? The severed heads of your enemies?” he gets out through his giggles.

“I will goor your ass into the Forge,” she says in amusement, reaching for her hammer in warning.

Holding his hands up in mock surrender, he gets up to leave, and hightails it away before she can make good on her threat.

Armorer smiles under her bucket.

She hasn’t heard him laugh like that in a long time.

He will be just fine.

-

-

-

Paz paces nervously around the table for the fifth time, pausing to try and flatten the curling plastic tile underfoot. When that fails, he continues on his path around the table. Paz stops when the door opens. Din strides in, closes the squeaky door behind him, and takes a seat. The chair groans under his weight as he leans back.

“So, what’s got your bucket straps chafing?” he asks.

Paz immediately regrets asking for help. Especially from Din. But, being his brother through both vow and combat, Paz trusts no one else as much as he trusts Din.

“I need some advice,” Paz says carefully.

“What sort of advice?” Din asks, his helmet tilting a bit to the right.

“I want you to swear you won’t tell anyone,” he says firmly.

No one needs to know about his lack of experience.

“I won’t tell anyone,” Din says.

“Swear it,” Paz stresses flatly.

“Alright, alright,” Din says.

“On my honor, I swear I won’t tell anyone about anything we’re about to discuss.”

Paz takes a deep breath as he struggles to come up with the words needed to explain his unique situation. How the fuck is he supposed to even ask about this?

Has Din ever even been on a date before?

Gods above, he is too old for this shit.

“Does this have anything to do with those problems men your age typically get?” Din asks suddenly, breaking the silence. “You know, below the codpiece?”

He gestures down toward his crotch, as if his words were not mortifying enough.

“What?” Paz asks incredulously.

Din holds both hands up as if trying to defend himself.

“Look, Paz, every rifle malfunctions eventually,” Din says in what he might think is a comforting tone. “Especially when a man starts to get into his forties and fifties – “

“No, stop. My di - that part of me is just fine,” Paz snaps in annoyance. “I’m not that old, you little shit.”

“Oh. Okay,” Din says. “So, what is it? You’ve been acting really strangely for the past few weeks.”

Their buir did not raise either of them to be a hut’uun. He can do this, get those words out. He is a grown-ass man and he can be direct. Fuck delicacy. That kind of bantha-shit doesn’t work for Mandalorians, anyway.

“There’s a woman I’ve taken an interest in,” Paz says. “I’d like to give her a proper courtship. I was wondering if you had any input on where I could take her on a date.”

Din doesn’t react. For a moment, Paz wonders if Din even heard him. As the seconds tick by, the buzzing of the fluorescent lights overhead seems to grow louder. Then he hears a choked wheeze from his modulator, one that sounds like someone is strangling a de’kath bird with piano wire. Din’s shoulders shake violently as he starts to howl with laughter.

“You’re – you’re coming to me for advice on dating?” he gasps out, “Me? Din Dumbass Djarin?”

Paz falters at the mention of Cara’s affectionate nickname for Din. He shrugs once in response. Then he sinks down onto the table and crosses his arms.

“Yeah. Half a braincell is better than none, right?”

Din goes silent for several seconds.

“Holy fuck, you’re serious,” Din whispers. “Paz, I can barely keep my shit together. What makes you think I, of all people, would know anything about dating?”

“I haven’t been on a proper date in eighteen years,” Paz says dryly to Din. “I don’t know how this shit works anymore.”

A pregnant silence follows.

“Din, I’m over Zeli. I’ve been over her bantha-shit for a few years now,” Paz says. “I am ready to try something long-term again.”

“Fuck,” Din breathes. “We’ve all been wondering…if you’d…you know.”

“Stop wallowing in my self-pity and move on with my life?” Paz asks sardonically. “The past few years…I have been working on improving myself. Figuring out how to best honor the Resol’nare...All the stuff we were supposed to figure out years ago.”

“Paz, I’m happy to hear that,” Din says. “I’m glad you’re going to be you again.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Paz says, waving off Din’s comment. Shit, this is getting too emotional for him. “Whatever.”

Din snorts.

“Anyway. As for dating…I mean, there are better people to ask. I really could not help you with the dating thing.”

“Surely you’ve had a partner,” Paz says. “I’ve heard rumors about you and Cara.”

“Cara wants the simple things in life: good beer and to regularly beat someone's ass,” Din says. “I just so happen to be good at both finding good beer and getting my ass beat. When I asked her out, she almost pissed herself laughing at me.”

“Well, she said yes, which is more success than I’ve had,” Paz says. “I don’t know shit about this. The only people who care about courtship are the Elders.”

“And you now, apparently,” Din argues back.

He does have a point.

“Well…she means a lot to me. She isn’t a temporary arrangement,” Paz says carefully. “I’d like to do this the right way for her. So she knows I’m serious. And that I'm not just after...sex.”

Din inhales deeply, tapping his fingers on the table as he stares at the wall.

“Well, buir once told us that women like providers. So, go find a really big marsh deer, kill it, dress it, and bring everything back to her,” Din says, shrugging his shoulders. “Women like meat and leather, right?”

His tone is as uncertain as the way Paz feels about presenting you with a dead animal. They stay silent for several seconds.

“I’m fairly certain buir was joking when he told us that,” Paz says slowly.

“Huh,” Din says. “You know, now that it’s been said out loud…it does sound kind of ridiculous. Shit.”

They stay quiet for several moments, considering how truly fucked they both are when it comes to relationships. They’ve both had the occasional pleasure arrangement. And pleasure arrangements only require interest and about ten minutes. After his dumpster fire of a relationship with Zeli went down in a fiery, messy explosion, Paz never really considered settling down for marriage.

Why is this so damn difficult?

Din sighs, breaking him from his reverie, and tilts his helmet in his direction. It’s a sort of acknowledgement, an understanding that they are both committed to figuring this courtship business out together. Paz supposes that Din’s going to have to learn a few things, too, if he's somehow going to convince Cara to stick around with him for more than a few months. At the very least, Paz is grateful that Din picked someone smarter than himself. At least their children will have one intelligent parent.

“So. Who is it that has you acting all emotional, all ready to get domesticated?” Din asks, waving his hand around a bit.

“Shu’shika,” Paz says. “She’s…she’s the one I’m interested in.”

Din’s head snaps up so hard and fast that Paz hears his vertebrae crack from here.

“What?” Din asks. “Shu’shika?”

“What the fuck is with that tone, Din?” Paz snaps irritably. “If you’re going to insult her – “

“What? No, no,” Din says. “I’m not insulting her, no way. She doesn’t seem like your type, Paz. She’s…uh…not the most athletically gifted. Or the best at...hand-to-hand combat.”

That is the most diplomatic tone he has ever heard from Din and it pisses him the hell off. Paz does not like the idea of someone insulting you.

“She’s perfect the way she is,” Paz says flatly.

Din holds his hands up in surrender.

“I’m not judging your taste in women,” Din says mildly. “I was just…uh…surprised. I thought you’d go for someone like Nayel, or maybe even Revala.”

“They aren’t Shu’shika,” Paz says, shrugging.

Nayel and Revala are both warriors and hunters, the two of them direct competitors for their age and skill group. Nayel has even made a few passes at him, but her hand against his doesn’t send that little bolt of tingling pleasure radiating up along his spine. She always wants to fight with him. While he appreciates having good sparring partners, he sometimes wants something quieter.

“Well, we are both shit at this,” Din says. “So, we treat this like any other battle to be fought and won. What intel do you have for me?”

Paz starts to list the data, growing more comfortable as he settles into the comforting routine of what he does know how to do. Win a fight. Then again, he isn’t sure if he should be looking at courtship like it’s a battle to be won.

-

-

-

Notes:

Alor'ad - Captain Vod - comrade, mate, brother - different contexts based on the people involved Gaa'tayl - help Aruetiise - outsiders, traitors. When used to refer to an outsider, it's not an insult. It's just a state of being. When used to refer to a Mandalorian, it's an insult. Uj'ayali - Mandalorian cake made from ground nuts, fruit, spices. Delicious. "Ni copaani hailir gar. Gedet'ye, cyare." - "I want to fill you. Please, my love." Cyare - beloved Dar'buir - "Divorce" from a parent, like disowning them. Rare, usually only done if the parent is a shithead. Starbird - Star Wars creature that is basically a phoenix. It's supposedly reborn in the heart of a star, etc. Manda - Soul, that which makes someone Mandalorian hut'uun - coward, an egregious insult Aliit maan bal solus kyr’yc. - Family first and the individual second - randomly made this saying up. Mandokar - the virtues of the ideal Mandalorian - aggressiveness, tenacity, loyalty, and a lust for life. Riduurok - love bond between two spouses, marriage Resol'nare - The six tenets by which all Mandalorians abide. Short version: "Education and armor, self-defense, our tribe, our language and our leader all help us survive." Alor - leader Goor - Goore --> Grenade --> You toss a grenade --> Therefore goor is the Mando equivalent of yeet. Humor from Tumblr. De'kath bird - An animal I made up a long time ago for another story. The bird sounds like a raven, a tuba, and a paper shredder all got together and made an ugly, horrifying baby. Marsh deer - An animal I made up a long time ago for another story. A marsh deer is about twice as tall as a giraffe and has huge antlers that can cause serious damage if they ram someone. They are generally herbivorous, but when they are in the middle of rutting season, they become opportunistic carnivores. They also dislike humans and will attack unprovoked. Also, they make for good eating and hunting. OYA! Shu'shika - Nickname I made up using shu'shuk (disaster) and -ika (diminutive), means Tiny Disaster. Because Reader is a tiny disaster.