#tho i will say october themed fics….. i love it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

justfor2am · 2 years ago

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hi my interview has been rescheduled once again because of course it is ^_^ nothing wants me to be interviewed ig ^_^ anyways 🥺😈🛒🎢✨💋🎶⛔🍦🌞💖💌❌🧐🦅👀🤗💞🧠🤩🤯💔🤭 for the fanfic writer asks or wtevr they're called??? didn't realize until just now u even rbed an ask game so apologies 🫡 side note the 💥 emoji is so fun . its just like 💥💥💥💥💥 yk??? also feel free to skip any of those i just threw down the ones i think would be most interesting but as usual there r many

i am manifesting an interview AND a job for u, get that bag king!!!

also waough ty for giving me an excuse to talk abt my blorbos 🥺🥺🥺

and ya 💥 feels like ur comboing someone really well in a fighting game, like 💥💥💥 K.O. yanno?

this is def gonna be a long one tho soooo the rest underneath the cut this goes lmao

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

Anything having to do with touch. I'm a sucker for physical gestures, so anything that involves details like brushing someone's hair out of their eyes, hooking a tentative pinky around someone else's hand, it doesn't need to be overt to get me in my feels every single time.

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

Yes! I threatened a major character death in [though I've closed my eyes, I know who you pretend I am] late in the final (12th) chapter lmao

I knew that being that late into the fic most people would've forgotten what the specific tags were and even less would be willing to scrolling all the way back up to check lol

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

Like I said in the first Q, touch is a big thing for me. Eyes and anything having to do with vision also tends to be a big one, if you read a fic with both of those elements there's a decent chance I wrote it.

As far as overarching things, I prefer to write scenery over dialogue, and put a heavy emphasis on describing what the characters are feeling/thinking over having them verbally express it.

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

I wanna say my [detroit become human au] has shit hit the fan pretty quickly. The fic opens with the conflict and it takes a few chapters for the reader to get any context, but once you've got it, going back to the start just makes your heart break.

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

booo hiss grrr

no but actually uhhhhhh... I will say that when I've got a good idea rattling around in my head, I can churn out a fic for that premise very quickly. to the point that i accidentally wrote three chapters for one of my fics all within a day, because I'm unhinged like that

💋 First kiss fics. Love em or hate em?

LOVE but only if they're done right. I appreciate first kiss fics that aren't perfect or a little clumsy, but also i'm a sucker for those picture perfect moments too

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

YA i do my best writing with some music on. I've been listening to a mix of things lately (Love from the Other Side by FOB, that new Shakira collab, and Flowers by Miley Cyrus) but i've also been looping my 14+ hour long exo playlist

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

I had a sculk!Grian fic from like, I wanna say October last year that I was 1k words into that just. Disappeared. No clue where it went or how I lost but, but in hindsight, it wasn't my best work.

I'm still a bit sad to have lost it, but considerably more proud of the things I've written since.

🍦 What’s the sweetest fic you’ve created so far?

I have come to the realization that I am horrible at writing fluff without some level of conflict within the fic. Whoops! Closest I've got is a [scarian sick fic] that I wrote recently lmao

🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

Either while I'm at work when it's dead during the day time, or frantically at like, 11 o'clock p.m., there is no in between.

💖 What made you start writing?

Wayyyyy back when I was 12/13 I used to be big into rp, and I came into the realization that the rps I was doing could just as easily be formatting into fics.

None of those fics were ever published, but getting to learn how to edit and rewrite scenes that had been planned out with another person made me want to start creating stories of my own.

💌 How do you feel about comments and feedback?

Love love LOVE comments and feedback. Literally getting a comment is like a serotonin boost directly into my veins to write more, esp comments that'll point out specific scenes or moments/lines they liked.

someone pointed out that they liked the way I described fresh hickeys like blooming violets and I haven't been able to stop thinking about that comment ever since.

❌ What’s a trope you will never write?

That's a good question.... I'm trying to think of one that isn't like, a blatantly obvious icky trope.

I'm not sure if it counts as a trope, but Y/N fics. Not only are their primary function to act as fan service, they end up coming off very RPF to me which I'm not a fan of.

Oh, also RPF. Any fic i write has to do 100% with the characters those people portray, not the real person.

🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?

Depends on the fic! For my [actor au] I've just been kinda flying by the seat of my pants, doing the occasional googling but not much. The opposite of this would be my [detroit become human au] where I literally rewatched jacksepticeye's d:bh playthrough and scoured wikis to make sure i'm describing androids correctly.

tl;dr: generally no, only as needed unless I get fixated on it.

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

Fly by the seat of my pants, but i'm trying to change this! For my multi-chaptered fics I've started actually planning out future events, and even for this one big one shot im working on, i've got an outline in the works.

...though generally, i don't plan. it's a bad habit.

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

GLADLY so speaking of that big one shot, it's going to be a boatem superhero au, i've started outlining it and getting my concepts together, i'm very excited for it!

here's a snippet:

It was fairly obvious that the Mayor had pulled some strings to get Scar to this stage; once a nobody vigilante who seemed more preoccupied with dazzling the camera over saving lives, Scar's public image had taken a hard left turn during the past few campaigning months.

The situation was more of an open secret— it was all too convenient for Scar, who practically lived in the Mayor's pocket, to be joining the city's most elite crime-fighting team.

it's VERY early in development so don't expect this one for a while tho

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

I'd say figure out your character's voice is a big one. It's easy to fall into fanon tropes and while they're fun, they can cause lots of warping in the way you write your own fics, which might make them sound off.

So look out for fanon tropes! Personally I've run into people who make Scar very sweet and innocent, to the point of dusting his hands clean of blame. It's an easy hole to fall into, and no one should fault a writer for falling into tropes.

There's a line to walk, and I find that watching content relating to that character really helps shaping that "inner voice".

Also, get someone to proof read your work who is willing to point out your mistakes. Editing/betaing is never meant to be a personal attack, but rather to make sure that the fic you present to the rest of the world is cohesive and clear.

💞 Who’s your comfort character?

Scar! He just gets me fr. He's one of my favorite guys to write because of how versatile and how much variety he has. He could be a silly salesman one minute, and a quietly scary assassin the next. Whatever the bit or joke is, he fully commits to it, often to the detriment of himself, but god does it make for good content.

Also he has a really good narration voice ok

🧠 Pick a character, and I’ll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

(ty for the speedy discord reply lol)

Grian! my darling baby boy who has every mental illness ever

no but actually, i'd say my favorite grian head canon is anything having to do with him being an alchemist. i want that man brewing potions, getting blown up, and curing all his friends ailments with the most illegal looking brew you've ever seen in your life.

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

Grian, mostly because he comes easiest to me! There's such a sense of endless potential when I get ready to write him, and like, idk what it is, but longing too?

We've been getting it pretty heavy w/ his whole "I Miss Mumbo" campaign but like, grian to me feels like someone who's always thinking about reaching a hand out, and pulls it back at the last second. It's very relatable.

🤯 What’s a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

Weirdly enough, it's fluff. I always feel compelled to write stories with some level of conflict or it's not "satisfying" to me. I love reading the genre, but for whatever reason when I write it, I get in my head about if it's "good enough" or not without conflict. I'm working on that lol

�� Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

EDIT: so i misread this, you get fic recs as a bonus. my proper answer is: [my bad ending fae two shot], it will shatter you as it did me </3

i'm going to give two because i do what i want. the first being [It's Only Logical by TSTrashCaptain] which is a sanders sides fic that to this day, i can only dream of writing something so good. tw for themes of abuse and nsfw at times, but god. just reading the title again puts a knot in my heart in the best way possible.

now, this fic. [your heart rots in my hands by thepigeoncat]. this fic slaughtered me the first time i read it. i left a long ass comment on it. tw for major character death, but this is the perfect last life scarian fic.

it's beautiful, and tragic, and it makes me feel as though the world has truly ended /pos. please go read it.

🤭 Do you have a favorite tag to use when posting your works?

my favorite tag for when i post unbetaed work is "no beta we die like scar to the boatem hole"

as far as a REAL tag, hurt/comfort >:))

and my favorite one off funny tag is "i cannot emphasis to you enough how much blood is in this fic"

[fanfic writer emoji asks!]

#justfor2am #justfor2talks #long post

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chryzure-archive · 2 years ago

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Not technically on theme but I’d like some spare Jackszure details if you have them 👀 (Refering specifically to Azure-possessed!Jacks)

I WOULD LOVE TO TALK ABT JACKSZURE!!!!!!!!!!

whenever jacks gets extremely emotional/distressed, azure will take over because he KNOOOWS nothing will get done otherwise

on that topic, they can perfectly mesh together if their emotions align. this typically happens whenever chrysi’s in danger + jacks and azure will both be working in total unison to keep her safe!!!

i haven’t actually decided if normal ppl can see jacks’s eyes turn red when azure is in control, or if that’s jst a chrysi thing,,,,,,, but it’s cool when it happens!!

whenever azure will swoop in & take control, it’s literally as casual as taking a breath. like it’s jst a difference of his posture to distinguish between him and jacks..

versus jacks coming back in control and he’s one step from dropping like a sack of potatoes. bro be soo serious?

jacks and azure can have convos w each other in their head,,,, at first, jacks would mutter his responses to azure audibly, but then he figured out that if he thought it super hard at azure, then azure can hear it.

chrysi can sometimes catch phrases spoken by azure! it’s a lot like listening in on a crackly phone connection + it’s rlly distant, so she really has to strain to hear it. but that’s why she was able to quote what azure said in the epilogue of the october fic!

if jacks passes out, azure can assume immediate control of jacks’s body… but if it’s a bad enough hit, then it’ll take both the souls in jacks’s body out of commission!

when jacks is asleep, sometimes he’ll relive some of azure’s memories. things got weird when he realized azure had a bunch of different lives.

chrysi can immediately tell the moment azure is in charge. and even tho she says she loves azure and jacks equally, jacks has noticed that she’ll give azure more affection. mean… :(

honestly, i think that azure’s trapped in jacks’s body now. he can’t leave without something happening to kill jacks.. it’s like jacks has become dependent,,, they’re part of the same being now..

#.asks #m.filly✨#star cursed trio #yeah :)

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st4rguy · 10 months ago

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1, 4, 10, 11, 12, 17, 18, 19, 23, 29, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 48, 68, 88, 89, 92, 93, 98 for the homestuck thing ^^ feel free to skip anything if u want lol

@sleepy-kitty-boy lets gooooo sorry this took so long answers under the cut

original post -> st4rguy.tumblr.com/post/743052789002977280

1: When did you first get into Homestuck? around mid-October last year, I think I had started reading previously but got like. 20 pages in.

4: Ever made your own chumhandle? yeah, I have, it's cosmopoieticQuestant. idk if it's a good one and I don't use it for anything but l like big fancy words and its abbreviation would be CQ and because I'm a fucking nerd that makes me happy. uhh cosmopoietic is a word I really like it means universe-creating so yeahg 👍

10: Ever drank Faygo? No, I have not ever :P

11: Favorite Alpha kid? mmm that's a tough choice but probably Jane?? I find her fascinating like I could write an essay about her.

12: Favorite Alpha troll? Meenah. she's funny, spunky and fun to draw. I like to give her an anglerfish antenna just because why not. Her and (Vriska)'s relationship is. fascinating. Her Aranea are adorable tho.

17: Favorite Beta kid? Egbert probably? I love them equallyyyy

18: Favorite Beta troll? uahgh. thats difficult. honestly, I don't know.

19: Favorite Beta character overall? I simply could not pick.

23: Favorite guardian? MOM. ROXY. ok like. y'ever think about like. how she likely knew she was going to die. And she basically raised Joey and Jude from when she was a teenager. and we don't know how their story ends yet. I think about her quite a bit.

29: Favorite Friendsim character? HAVE MY LIST: CIRAVA, BRONYA, SKYLA, POLYPA, KONYYL, TYZIAS, AZDAJA, TIRONA, MARSTI, CHARUN, WANSHI, DARAYA AAAAND LANQUE. <- troll call order btw. I loooove them

33: Favorite pale ship? I'll have to go with the classic and say meowrails. you can't beat them.

34: Favorite pitch ship? JANEVRIS. rarepair blast attack!

35: Favorite flushed ship? scratch n sniff perhaps. idk sure I like em.

36: Favorite ashen ship? good question i love the Ashen quadrant I do not know

37: Favourite vacillating ship? KONYYL AND AZDAJA. I know no one cares but I love them. idk if they "vacillate" per se if you ask me they have like. whatever the signless and the disciple had going on. KONYYL LITERALLY SHARES HER THEME WITH THE DISCIPLE.

48: Zodiac troll? Are you happy with them?: I'm born on the cancer-leo cusp so Karkat or Nepeta I love those guys

68: Classpect you identify with currently? uhhh page of space probably. I'm bad at classpects but it fascinates me nonetheless.

88: Favorite Homestuck fics? Early June by RoseGardenofEden, Detective Pony by sonnetstuck and Pilot Light, Pale Rapture by purplebard (series) to name a few

89: Favorite Homestuck fanartists? missbehaviourOuO, conceptofjoy, tgcg, dammarchy211, teethcritter, serfuzzypushover, and like a bunch more

92: Favorite typing quirk? MEENAH FEFERI OR NEPETA. I LOVE PUNS. THEY INFECTED ME WITH THEIR STUPID PUNS. and they are also just cool 👍

93: Favorite MSPFA? burning down the house! idk if it counts really it's not hosted on mspfa but that's probably the most apt description and I think it's really cool and would highly recommend it

98: What characters do you relate most to? Aradia maybe? I tend to go through spells where I feel really detached and apathetic. yk. depression. but uh that's kinda heavy! I also am fascinated by dead things, as well as diseases and fungus and bugs and shit like that but they kinda scare me.

#ask #homestuck

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tsaritsa · 3 years ago

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tagged by the beautiful and sexy and successful @fullmetalscullyy + @megthemighty. ty babes ur both fergalicious mwah how many works do you have on ao3? 40

what’s your total ao3 word count? 275,381 words

what are your top five fics by kudos?

may i feel, said he

for the serpent has died and i’m leaning by your side

enthrallment

against the run of play

a strange fate with wandering limbs

i’m really proud of each of these pieces for different reasons. mifsh is a love letter to mar and to the fandom generally; ftshdailbys (what a fucking acronym lmao) was one of the first pieces i did with the intention of hitting a specific word count; enthrallment is a reminder to myself that pain does eventually pass (and that riza/bradley is sexy af); atrop definitely helped develop my love for multimedia fics and playing around with how we show information to the reader; and asfwwl was as much a study of riza as the people around her

do you reply to comments, why or why not? absolutely — although i tend to wait for updates to reply to the previous chapters if it’s an ongoing piece. i’m always stunned by the comments i get and i treasure each and every one of them. ty for giving me a little joy in my daily life

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? i guess it depends on ur perspective. a strange fate is essentially dead dove on arrival — and bellyache deals with some unsavoury themes as well

what’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? prolly that v saccharine valentines day fic. personally it makes me cringe a little now, but if that’s what floats ur boat, then go for it

do you write crossovers? if so, what’s the craziest one you’ve ever written? specific aus are as close as i’ve gotten - the crown!au would be the best fit. the concept of doing a marvel-esque endgame showdown has never really vibed with me; especially for the fma universe, which is incredibly niche and unique in a variety of ways

have you ever received hate on a fic? hahahahahah remember the time when ppl were bitching about mifsh on here bc it was ‘everywhere’ and we were ‘no better than rcyeddies’ with the power imbalance and it was a ‘glorified self-insert fic’ and we were deviants for sharing it and had made the royai fandom ‘cheap’ and ‘an awful place to be’ bc they were so much more than fucking?

yeah me neither lol. i’d also like to state that i’m not bitter about this anymore — but it really did feel awful to read those things, and for ppl to judge us and the substance of the story without ever bothering to talk to us before doing so. i’d like to think the fandom is a kinder space now, where we can just. move on if we don’t enjoy something, instead of sniping about it publicly and deliberately trying to make ppl feel bad

and if u were one of those ppl who were mean: either die mad and jealous lmao OR write something better and more engaging if u want ppl to shut up about may i feel. that’s literally all u have to do 🤷

do you write smut? if so, what kind? i write sexy smut. sometimes it’s an au where they’re in a ballet company. sometimes they’re at university. sometimes i forget to finish them in a timely fashion

have you ever had a fic stolen? not lifted verbatim. but there have been a few times where — and it’s not just my gut feeling, others have brought it to my attention — ideas and phrases align a little too neatly for me to brush it off as mere coincidence. at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter

have you ever had a fic translated? i’ve been very lucky to have a few translated: a few in spanish, russian, and mandarin as well, if memory serves me right

have you ever co-written a fic before? y’all know i have. may i feel and starstruck are the published ones, but maybe more will surface. we’ll see

what’s your all-time favourite ship? royai for sure. they just tickle a very specific part of my brain

what’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? won’t say i can’t finish any of them bc there’s always the chance i will — just a matter of sitting down and figuring out what needs to happen

what are your writing strengths? this made me pause for a bit bc in truth i’m not terribly sure. i’d like to think my dialogue is strong — not only in terms of characterisation, but in the ability to move the plot forward without having to simply tell the reader what is going on. y’all know i love making things sound pretty as well — assonance my beloved

what are your writing weaknesses? it’s a double-edged sword. as much as i love writing to a particular aesthetic, that definitely hinders me too when i get too involved with the details rather than examining my writing from a birds-eye perspective. i also know i struggle with keeping things simple — from explaining something as just. as it is as well as bigger issues like “let me just tell y’all about the history of the economy of resembool from the years 1872-1911 even though this was meant to be a throwaway sentence″

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? i think it can add a ton of depth to a scene — it’s more a case of ensuring that the context around the dialogue can help the reader infer meanings without feeling so unsure they want to go search the translation. for the most part in may i feel, i think readers have been able to understand without too much hassle when a character uses spanish (but also we all know enough rudimentary spanish that it’s not utterly foreign). using a non-latin written language like mandarin or thai would definitely take me out of the fic more — but again, it’s all in how u apply it

what was the first fandom you wrote for? fruits basket! i never published it tho

what’s your favourite fic you’ve written? currently it’s my piece that will be published for this years fma big bang. i’m really excited to share more about it next month (and publish it on october 3rd!!)

tagging @firewoodfigs, @royai, and @bringingglory if y’all haven’t already gotten around to it

#would u believe i'm writing fic again?#who would've thought lockdown would give me time + space to do so hah

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neo-shitty · 3 years ago

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— tag game!

tagged by: @neolee231 ; thank you, sam! i love answering these :] tagging: @seungmoe @lovelygalaxy333 @masterninjacow @latetaektalk @enha-woodzies @neonun-au only if y’all are interested :]

1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)?

uhhh, iv of spades, bts and enhypen.

2. what fandoms are you currently writing for?

nct, stray kids and ateez (on a thin line tho)

3. how long have you been writing?

since 4th grade so it’ll been 10 years this october? (wow, i just manually counted so i’m just as shocked as you are) but writing for this blog, i hit my anniv the other day.

4. on which platforms do you post your stories?

tumblr only. still thinking of posting the more lengthy ones on ao3.

5. what is your favourite genre to write?

ANGST. but atm it’s fantasy/out of the mundane setting fics.

6. are you a pantser or a planner?

definitely a planner who sucks at following the plan so i end up being a pantser.

7. one shot or multi-chapter?

one shots because i have SERIOUS commitment issues when it comes to chaptered fics. i become pressured by the feedback and sometimes i feel like i can’t do any justice to how good the fic has been so far.

8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion?

for a multi-chaptered fic? around 2k or 3k, i guess?

9. what is your longest published story? is it complete?

checkmate, 19.3k.

10. which story did you enjoy working on the most?

again, checkmate. made me more attached to stray kids and i definitely loved the

11. favourite request you've have written and why (if any?)

i have two! in quarantine (choi san) because it kick started everything and the most recent one, gladius maximus (bang chan) because AAAAA percy jackson.

12. are there reoccurring themes in your stories?

uhhhh someone’s always bound to get hurt except when it’s fluff.

13. current number of wips?

oh fuck, hold on. 8, i think. how many am i working on? none.

14. three things you have noticed about your own writing?

i don’t fucking ‘show don’t tell’ which is the biggest flaw i have. i’m trying to improve by lessening it but it takes away what i see as assets in my writing. also, i can tell you what my characters feel through their thoughts, but i can’t show you where the fuck they are because i can’t world build for shit. and lastly, the cussing in my fics lessened significantly as the year progressed. i’m glad i got to get rid of that.

15. a quote you like from a published story

“When you found a vacant window seat, you looked back at Donghyuck’s retreating figure as he made his way back to his bike. You catch him wiping his eyes again—unsure if it was because of sweat, or from tears again. He mounted his bike and started pedaling away. maybe back to school, maybe towards home or maybe to the places you both used to frequent—only this time, he was alone.”

16. a quote from an unpublished story

“You were the only living soul for miles.”

17. space for you to say something to your readers

YOU READ THIS SHIT? but thank you for reading the arranged word vomits that i publish here. i have nothing but appreciation towards those who take the time to read through everything. words can’t express how happy every notification makes me and i can’t thank you enough for everything. you’re a part of the reason why i continue to share my stories here. i love you all to bits <3

#toff.tags

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schnaphan · 4 years ago

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the ultimate 2020 masterlist ayeeeee! 🎉

2020 has been a busy year. i wrote and published a bunch of phanfics, adding up to 124,433 words. i’m also currently working on my ospbb fic which adds another 25k to the word count! on top of that, i wrote a fic i’m going to publish in the next few days, adding another 10k. almost 160k in the phandom! 🎉

that’s enough for the stats. here are the bebes.

SMOL BEBES ring my bells ~ You try to hide it I know you do When all you really want is me to come and get you ~ my contribution to the wipswap 2020! i didn’t have a wip to do a proper exchange but i was very happy to help out as a pinch hitter ♥ Rain ~ When their dinner date gets ruined, the boys need to find a way to make it work. ~ my first collab in YEARS. @jorzuela and me decided to spend one evening writing, posting the result right afterwards. the ideas were all over the place but we managed to build a neat little story ♥

IMPROMPTU CHALLENGE what’s a great idea if you want to participate in nanowrimo? yep - spend a big part of october writing. i had a lot of fun, tho! ♥ it was really awesome to try out so many different stories and oooooof returning to short stories helped me SO MUCH. cliffhanger It happened so out of the blue. One day, Dan's twin brother was gone. He didn't return home that night - he never did. The sea took him and Dan was left alone. Just like that. the emperor's new clothes Dan picked a special outfit for their dinner date. Phil doesn't quite know how to deal with it. with you by my side Dan and Phil spend their first night together. But Dan can’t fall asleep. family of ten Having a serious conversation with your biggest daughter is rather difficult. Especially when she wants to know if you regret having children. drifting Dan is in love. But his love is confined to a place with blue dim and an electrical hum. exclusive content: murder Meeting with this guy from the internet is kind of risky, kind of sketchy. But it's not just some random guy, it's Phil. So Dan feels safe. Is he right, though? scars of luck Luck. That's what Phil calls it. But Dan knows better. cutting ties Phil likes Dan a lot, he really does. Still, he can't let him know more about his life. But apparently, Dan didn't get the memo. you still have a wish Dan wants to have anonymous sex. Phil agrees. trampoline Whenever Dan is overwhelmed, he runs. Running is the one thing that makes him feel free, the one thing that clears his mind. So it just seems natural to run from Phil. pandemonium The world collapses. And Phil is gone. forever. The waves keep rolling in. Forever. Phil is by Dan's side. Forever. dornröschenschlaf On a trip through the city, looking for picturesque places, Phil stumbles across a seemingly enchanted place. But who knows, maybe he's part of the fairytale too. blessed with a curse everything i touch turns to stone. so wrap your arms around me and leave me on my own. phantom butterflies Dan still got butterflies in his stomach when he sees Phil. But what if they're only phantom butterflies? drown my demons Whenever Phil feels all alone, he knows he can rely on Dan. But maybe he shouldn't. And apparently, demons know how to swim. whiffs of autumn The world is an amazing place. Look at it instead of your flaws. - It doesn't work all the time. But autumn makes things easier. just Dan and Phil are friends. Not ‘just’ friends - they’re friends, there’s no doubt about that. And yet, Dan feels like he’s missing a piece. 知己知己 - zhiji: the one who knows me. soulmate. confidant. THE BIG STUFF

A Song for Lottie ~ Dan was quite happy without Phil in his life. But then, Lottie came along. Lottie, the annoying girl with a sweet tooth and a bad mouth. And you just can't say no to Lottie. Even when she wants you to meet Phil again. ~ sooo i volunteered to be a pinch hitter for the phandom reverse bang. (just in case you can’t tell - i love pinch hitting ♥ just hit me up - pun intended - whenever you need a pinch hitter. i’m a sucker for challenges ♥) and i did what you do as pinch hitter - begin a multi-chapter fic with several storylines. wait, you usually don’t do that? damn, nobody told me :D the story has been on a break for a while but i’m planning to write the next chapter this week! doppelt. ~ The big wheel in Manchester. The big wheel in another Manchester. Phil's disappearance. Finding Phil - twice. Dealing with Doppelgängers. That's not exactly what Dan expected from their first meeting. But in the end, being with Phil is all that matters. ~ i’m not only a sucker for pinch hitting - i also love projects. this time, i took part in the phandom big bang. the first ideas were super ambitious and nobody could understand them and i couldn’t wrap them up so i broke it down a lot. i guess i shouldn’t try to enter metaphysics into a fic - especially considering i have no clue about metaphysics. :D thriving. ~ Sometimes, you meet someone who changes your life. Someone who becomes your best friend. Someone who becomes more to you than just a best friend. Someone who helps you thrive. ~ my actual contribution to the phandom big bang - the one i signed up for. :D i spent so much time looking up flowers, oof. i ended up with 19, one for each chapter and aaaah i just love that feeling so much when everything adds up. common theme, chapter names, even formatting... i still enjoy it. :D MISC writing and posting all these fics wouldn’t have been possible without someone i met in 2020 - my beloved phandom beta @jorzuela ♥ we got to know each other during the phandom reverse bang in summer and i already told you 32763249 times that i was so glad i picked your artwork because it brought us together ♥ thanks for your patience, time, energy, everything ♥ and f... you for stealing my commas. they are essential OKAY 😤 last but not least... i got nominated twice for the phanfic awards?!?!?!!?! i’m still speechless, i can’t even put into words how much it means to me. since i started writing, it has been a dream of mine to win an award but i’ve written off that dream long ago. so it came as a huge surprise when i saw the nominations. y’all are insane, thank you so so so so so so so much for nominating me! ♥ i got nominated in two categories - A Song for Lottie in “best angst” and doppelt. in “best scifi fic”. if you want to vote for me, here’s the link! i would be more than happy to receive your vote ♥ so - that’s it! 2020 wrapped up in a neat post. thanks to everyone who was a part of my journey 🎉

#phanfic #phanfiction

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selfcareparker · 4 years ago

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LMAOO I WAS GONNA BRING UP FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLIDER BUT I WASNT SURE IF YOU WERE WATCHING IT HSKAJ (are you liking it? i know it’s only the first episode but ya know, another one tomorrow night- well tomorrow night for me, and did you like wandavision?? i loved it!!)

oh my goodness i’m watching lion king while writing this and i haven’t seen it in a while and i am..... emotional. but anyway, i love that streaming services think that imma pay for them while they charge $50 a month. like yes of course i have that kind of money and i am going to give it to you to watch tv 🙄 that $50 is budgeted to sims thank you. (ALSO SIMS!!! i’ll get to that in a minute) now see if i don’t google levidia right this minute LMAOO, not that i’m gonna use it.. just for the research...

AND HDKSHS SEND THAT CHAOS WALKING LINK LMAO i saw it for the third time with a different one of my friends and she wasn’t the best one to see it with? she literally was on her fucking phone and i was like ok whatever her loss not mine, and idk if you’ve read the books or if you’ve seen it by now, but by the end of the whole movie, after they’ve confirmed THE THING throughout the whole movie she asked the dumbest question and i’m like diD YOU NOT WATCH THE MOVIE, and i guess she didn’t. so. this sounds so vague but i don’t wanna spoil the movie for you just in case lol.

THE STORY LMAOO, so A DIFFERENT FRIEND LOL, like my oldest bff, we had a day together and we wanted to go see chaos walking. and i honest to God thought that no one would be seeing this movie. like NO ONE. every day, i checked the theater seating and no one was there right? plus i really wanted us to have the theater to ourselves. so we sit in the wrong seats, the row in front of us, STILL THINKING WE’RE ALONE. and then these 3 older people came in AND IM ABOUT TO SCREAM FHSJSH AND IM LIKE “are we in your seats?” and they we were like uh yeah, AND IT WAS SO BAD LMAOO , we’re moving and everything would’ve been FINE but my friend’s reclined seat was going down so slow and as it’s going shes LITERALLY SAYING ALOUD “awkward awkward awkward” so she thinks forget it, lemme just get up. HER BAG GETS CAUGHT ON HER CHAIR AND HER FRIES AND THEY SPILL ALONG WITH HER HONEY MUSTARD 😭😭 ALL OVER THE FLOOR! so i’m trying not to laugh lmao but those aren’t even our seats and we just made a mess, so naturally, i get on the floor and start cleaning it up with my napkins (this is going for too long) AND MY FRIEND IS STILL SAYING “awkward awkward awkward awkward” and i’m really abt to crack up bECAUSE LIKE SHUT UP HAHAHA and we’re cleaning it and shit and the oldest lady is gonna say “yeah you’re not gonna make an old lady get on the floor, are you?” AND I WANTED TO LAUGH AND SCREAM AT THE SAME TIME BC DID WE ASK YOU TO, NO, so then i had to get the manager and she helped us clean it, we got new fries and everything was fine, it’s just a crazy story bc LITERALLY WE COULDVE AVOIDED IT AND EVERYTHING BUT THESE ELDERLY PEOPLE HAD TO COME AND SEE THIS MOVIE😭😭 at least the gentlemen was nice.. he helped us clean. but then his wife was like “i aM nOt siTTiNg tHeRe” and at first i thought she was a teenager bc of her stink attitude but her husband was nice. and it’s not like we weren’t cleaning it up, we were!!! like i was so apologetic- anyway.

about sims! do you play console or pc? wait,, you already told me you play pc bc your computer was broken, i’m glad you can play now though :’)) litetally when i read in the tags that you’re playing sims !!!! and are you hyped for bunk beds? i have cc so i’ve had them for a bit, but they were glitchy... but i’m so excited we have them now! i should really play sims today...

GURL IM SO PROUD OF YOU 🥺🥲 i know you aren’t fluent in everything and you aren’t a linguistic genius LMAO but it’s still soooo amazing :’) here i am reading the captions while ur just going hahah, yea i tried duolingo but.... i didn’t stick to it HDJSH talking to you though makes me so interested because you know all these languages, not even studying them like that, but you have this foundation and ahh it’s just super cool. LOL YOU DONT SOUND LAME HAJA IM TELLING YOU ITS SO SO COOL, i’m loving this lesson btw oh my goodness- HSKAJS YOU THOUGHT I WOULD ALREADY KNOW THAT??? HDYSJHS MY ONLY ENGLISH SPEAKING ASS??? HAHAHAHHAH i find that word (Rindfleischetikettie- i’m not gonna write the whole thing i’m sorry) very interesting... like... wow. did you have to google that or did you just know lmao

OKAH THE WATER THING HDKDJDKS UR GONNA TERRIFY ME HAHAH OH MY LORD- first of all CROATIA 😍😍 but thinking about it like that, I WOULD FREAK OUT TOO HAHSGSG i never go that deep into the water, or if i do i have my dad with me lol and i kind of hold onto him bc ive seen/heard too many things about people being dragged into the sea. but i loveee the water (i wanted to be a mermaid soooo bad ohmigosh)

I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW ONE CANNOT LIKE MUSIC ITS AWFUL !! lmao yeah i haven’t even listened to harry’s his first album, everyone says they love it more. I WAS GONNA SAY IMMA LISTEN TO ONLY ANGEL BUT THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE IT HUHAHAH also i have never listened to anything by mgk (i actually had to google who he was IM SORRY😔) i’m tempted to listen tho lol PLEASE JUSTIN BIEBER- I PROMISE IM NOT LAUGHING AT U IVE JUSY NEVER HAD SOMEONE SAY THAT B4!! like i don’t know many people who’ve liked him bUT NOW IM GONNA LISTEN & the cardboard cutout- okay. 😭😭😭

oh my goodness to see the vamps live 🤧 TO SEE ANYONE LIVE PLEASE JJDGSHAHGD and little mix is so good oh my goodness- i actually haven’t been to that many concerts.. i was at my first one, elsie fest (it’s like a broadway thing really) in uhhh october of 2019, yea i took my mom for her birthday bc she loves darren criss and i’m obsessed with glee lmao OH MY GOODNESS YOUVE BEEN TO SO MANY!!! and those are such great artists 😩😩

LMAO UR FINE, hamilton is a musical that lin manuel miranda wrote and i think generally made? i’m obsessed, but basically it was on broadway and then recorded and put on disney+ ... idk i guess it counts a film bc it’s like a movie really cuz it was recorded but in what 2018 or 2016? i don’t remembers the date that is on disney+ but it’s strange how i got into it, a lot of my friends were obsessed and i was like uhh why? and while researching it and watching it, trying to figure out why people love it... i fell in love with it LMAO but the music is FANTASTIC and lin is incredible😭 but yes yes yes i loveeeee high school musical!! my dad actually took my cousins to see it on ice or something (i absolutely forget lmao) but i don’t know how people don’t know hsm. it upsets me.

OKAY IM DOWN TO THE BOTTOM HAHAHA (it takes me so long to respond, now i’m on lion king 2 WHICH IS SO GOOD PLEASE FHHSSHHSHSH) i could respond in chunks but i kind of enjoy responding like this? it feels a bit like a letter but if this whole thing is overwhelming i’ll cut it up lol

+ yes that was me about your fic and sleep and everything lol but it was so good😭 i don’t understand how you write peter so well like you have this ability to capture his.. everything? i’m crine. all the time. over your fics. & i cannot describe my happiness for youuuu :’) i’m so happy you’re writing again 🥺🥰 the thing about how you only want to write the long peter fic but you don’t know how to continue... i feel that so so so hard, i don’t think i told you but ughh i was so blah bc of that feeling of having pent up inspiration for only one fucking thing and not being able to write it. it’s so frustrating 😭

not to add more to this but i need to vent a bit? the situation is definitely different bc with your major it obviously requires for you to ya know, know english lol, but uhm bc i’m homeschooled ive been cheating on all my work SHSHDHSJ like i google the answers but i’m still learning! it’s just..... i find it so unnecessary, like going for an audition no one is gonna say to me “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” like tf??? there’s literally no point. i’m gonna be getting into voice lessons again soon and i’m already doing dance, AND i’ll be doing this summer camp program (more hamilton lol) and thinking about school is only making me stress more, like i haven’t been able to rehearse dance at all this week bc of it...... so

hahaha reading your tags, lonely anon would still be accurate HAHAHHAHA // another add: yea i love ur current theme, i’ve gotten used to “seeing you” like this, but anything will look super pretty :)) ALSO HOW IS IT STILL SNOWING THERE, i swear it’s getting warmer and warmer by the day here 😭🤧

these long ass posts, my gosh🥲 lonely lovely anon <3

Omg yes it does feel like a letter sldkdj and then the few days of waiting also make more sense okay i love this ❣️💕❤️💓❤️💞🧡💜💘(wtf)sksjhz

Dear lovely anon,

ALSKSJVKD yes i‘m liking falcon and winter soldier dlkdh i haven‘t watched the second episode yet but i‘ll watch it tomorrow! but i didn‘t watch wandavision........ eidislskks i was going to but idk i wasn‘t that interested in it and watching series is already too much of a commitment (what can i say i‘m a Sagittarius—🤧 (no i’m joking i actually know NOTHING about starsigns)) didjj that i couldn‘t force myself to watch it, ALSO i hate (idk if this is an unpopular opinion) when every episode is like a whole hour. i‘m rewatching an old series today (it‘s german so i won‘t even get into it) and the episodes are 25 mins each and i‘ve already watched 8 episodes today ridlndjdjd,,, and i feel like if the episodes were an hour each i wouldn‘t have gotten past episode 2 today like idk.... even if series had the same length in total, i prefer when the individual episodes are shorter idk why tho tbh (so yeah i already wasn‘t 100% convinced about watching wandavision so i just couldn’t make myself watch a bunch of 1hour episodes— i‘ve heard that it‘s good tho- but i‘m not much of a series person so. Dldkk (have we talked about this already??? sorry i don‘t remember what i said lol and i couldn‘t find my own post anymore so dkdjsh) (WAIT I JUST CHECKED THE WANDAVISION EPIOSRDES ARENT EVEN THAT LONG??? Okay wait i might watch it now - did you like it? let me know if i should watch it— why did i think they were 60minutes???)

okay another confession i‘ve never watched the lion king????? i mean i watched it when i was a child but i was too young to actually pay attention to any kind of plot i just liked the songs lol sldkdj i‘ve been meaning to watch it for years tho 🦁 (idk it just felt appropriate to put a lion emoji lmoaoo)

OH MY GOD THE CHAIS WALKING/CINEMA STORY AHSJSKKS😭😭😭😭 NOOOOO (very fitting that there was so much chaos when you were watching a film that has chaos in the title loool) and the “awkward awkward awkward“ SAME SKSKSLSKDJ, that‘s literally me 24/7 ahajshshhshshsh. Like i was so skdjdjdkdllsldksnsnsnsb while i read what you sent me djslslsjdjdbdn why are old ladies always so grumpy btw 🥲🥲🥲 at least the man was nice tho! and wait did i read that right... you have fries (which, to me, are called chips dusuusldk) at your cinemas?? (Movie theatres sorry sksjsh) we just have popcorn and nachos and drinks i want chips too when i‘m watching a film what😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺

Also i still haven’t watched it so thanks for not spoiling it!!! (idk when i’ll watch it i’m so bad with films and even worse with series💀💀💀- same with cherry. i literally forgot all about cherry, i was SO hyped when the trailer came out like i’ve never been so excited about a movie... and then it came out... and i still haven‘t watch it like what‘s wrong with me???? Dkdjdjdjdklsl i feel like i‘m not gonna watch it anytime soon tbh, but i wanna watch chaos walking i just have to find the time

Okay and @ your other friend who wasn‘t paying attention like why are you even watching the film then???? but ok (omg this sounds so mean i‘m sure she‘s very nice but in this situation just like❔❔❔)

SIMS ahhh, BUNK BEDS, ahhhh sdljdjdjdkdkdldksj i actually haven‘t played it since the update 🤧🤧 i made both of my sims (enisa (bestselling author already, thank you) and michael (aspiring doctor)) go to university and bro it takes so long 😭😭 and you can‘t do anything else if you want them to do well so literally the last three times i played sims i was just constantly clicking their homework and computerd to write their assignments (i play it in german so idk what its called on the sims) and do their presentations and do them all over again so that they get better or whatever for HOURS, but imma play again soon

also i‘m living my fanfiction life loool, so i made my two sims neighbours (on the same plot tho but i made two small separate houses lol, i still wanted to control both of them at the same time but i made sure they didn‘t interact before i wanted them to skdjdjdk). and first they both experimented and got some experience in the love department you know (all genders, cause i have to live my sexuality even in a pc game slskdjh— wait, i‘ve never lived my sexuality irl like i‘ve done NOTHING nothing with guys nothing with girls (🥲) but maybe that’s why i want to do it even more in the sims) and then they met at uni and realised like hey we‘re neighbours and now they‘re together (but michael accidentally had an alien baby with another woman (who was an alien which i was not aware of) cause i wasn‘t paying attention like i said woohoo not try for baby like michael why is your pull out game so weak tf LSHDDHDJDJSKKDKSKDKS okay but making out and flirting and doing all the fun stuff in the sims turns me on way more than it should PFAHAHHAHSH) so idk why i told you this but I’m creating that neighbour!au in the sims lmaoooo

i did not have to google Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsübertragungsaufgabengesetz (just did it again😌 sisjshhs) but i might have mixed up the words überwachung und übertragung or i might have even forgotten a word skskks but in the end it doesn‘t matter (by linkin park- ok i‘m so sorry it‘s 2 am and i have a headache from having waveformers in my hair all day but i still wanted to reply to this now so sorry if i‘m not making any sense right nowbahahshah)

i wanted to be a mermaid too dldjdksksj like h2O and all those series convinced me i could be one like. i remember i‘d always go in the deep pool and attempt to swim like them in all the series with that wave motion i must have looked so crazy with my goggles as well dkdjsksöksj (i was like twelve but still)

so mgk has two sides one is hip hop/rap which is like ~~~~ idk he has good and bad songs, but his latest album is like punk pop snd I LOVE IT SO SO SO SO SO MUCH, so if you like punk pop I’d recommend his album tickets to my downfall (i don‘t blame yoj if you don‘t like it tho like about a year ago i would have HATED that type of music dkdkdkkd)🥴

Okay talking about music, there‘s this german rapper and he is... not a good person. he‘s literally a criminal and extremely sexist but to me he‘s still hot???????? he‘s even cute at times even tho he has tattoos everywhere and is like 6‘5 and is super aggressive but i see him and i‘m like 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 my heart beats only for you💘💘💘💘and he released a new song today and i watched the video and i‘m wondering wtf is wrong with me 😃 (he did look particularly cute cause he was high so idk he wasn’t really aggressive in this one) 😭 so i thought i‘d share that LMAO IDK

(not saying tattoos aren‘t cute btw i LOVE tattoos imma get some soon, but you know he looks like someone your grandma would be afraid of (and in his case rightfully so💀)

okay wait i‘m getting so tired it‘s 2 am i think i‘ll have to do the rest tomorrow but i wanted to do it now😭🥺🥺 see you tomorrow

it is now 3:42 am and i couldn‘t sleep so here we go again

girl you can laugh at me for liking justin tho skskks i wanna laugh at myself idk, like i said i really really really liked him a few years go, basically my life was at least 50% justin and then he went on a break for a while and released an album last year which i hated 🥴 but this album is wow. (Still weird to me because it‘s literally the definition of pop and i don‘t ever listen to pop?) and it‘s so weird because i used to know so much about justin and had so many friends who loved him as well and now it‘s like I’m listening to someone new? Don‘t get me wrong i never KNEW justin and i never will and i‘m aware of that shahsh but yeah i used to be soooo used to him and it‘s like reconnecting with an old friend and you realise you don‘t know that friend anymore- like you don‘t know them anymore at all. I mean justin is weird nowadays 😂😂😂 so pls laugh at me tbh dskksjsjsh

awww it‘s so wholesome that you gave your mom tickets to the concert 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i gave my mum tickets for pink like 2 years ago and she loved it so much and i was like 🥰🥰🥰 (i went with her) AND OMG GLEE ok so unfortunately i barely remember glee, but i used to watch it too!!!! And it‘s actually on my list of series i wanna watch (again) so youre making me want to watch it even more (but like i said i‘m bad with series so 😩😩😩 who knows when i‘ll rewatch it)

When all this pandemic shit is over (let‘s be hopeful <3333) then you need to go to as many concerts as possible!!!!! i‘ve been to SO MANY and it‘s literally one of the things in my life i‘m the most grateful for, concerts are some of the best experiences i‘ve ever had in my life especially the ones that are in smaller concert halls where you can feeeel the vibe and everyone‘s energy (and that sounds awful thinking about it mid-pandemic 😐) anyway—

Okay omg you‘re absolutely making me want to watch hamilton right now like omg i WANT TO WATCH IT NOW but it‘s 4 am sodndkdldl

what you said about my peter fics🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺like omg i love these emojis they literally just describe how i felt when reading what you said so, yes, 🥰🥺 + thank you :) it really means a lot <3

and no omg i totally get the studying thing. like last year before i graduated .. was that last year? yes wtf omg okaykdjdj, so the last three months before i had my final exams we were just in a lockdown and we didn‘t even have online classes. We had nothing except one teacher who left our group chat (😭) because she was mad at us (?) and one maths teacher who did an online ““lesson““ once a week. he‘d ask: so does anyone have questions. us: . Him: okay, bye then. So. Yeah dndldldj. But we had one online test and it was in german and like i read the book wee were supposed to read? but the questions on the test were all unanswerable (is that a word?) and i had to google everything (got an A tho 🤪 but only because i googled everything so i was so scared that i wouldn‘t be able to get a good result on the final exam because what if i‘d gotten used to just googling everything and i couldn‘t do it by myself anymore? anyway it was all fine in the end but yeah at times i couldn‘t even study because i had so much anxiety about studying and yeah- like this whole annoying cycle. but you said you‘re still studying———- okay wait 👁👄👁 i forgot what i was going to say??????????????????????????????????????????????????? Like wtf. Is wrong with me? And i‘m reading what you wrote again and i just don‘t know what i was going to say? Like i get what you‘re saying obviously but i‘m like? Idk 4am brain ayeee, please vent more if you need to and elaborate further because right now i‘m???? Too dumb to respond to this right now wtf. I‘m so sorry lmao ddlkdjdjd what is even going on like i‘m sitting here open mouthed just like ? But btw the fact that you have Voice and dance lessons is like SO FUCKING COOL like oh my god that is sosososos cool wtf, i was thinking that when you first talked about it too

And “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” ODHDKSLDBDJDOFIDKDNDLDK

Yes i know about the weather dkdkdkjd but it‘s getting (a lot) warmer here too and where i live we kind of get a weird type of wind called föhn (which literally means hair dryer but idk if that‘d the reason why it‘s called that, i‘m too tired to think of whether it makes sense rn) and it gives me headachesssssss and the changing weather is also giving me headaches 😭😭😭😭 so this season right now is just headache season and i hate summer so i wish it would just snow again lmao (okay it‘s getting so late that it‘s early already snd i can hear this bird chirping so fucking loud wtf i‘m also getting a headache 🤧🤧🤧) but at least i can do my new theme soon (i hope it‘ll look good🥺 and omg thank you for what you said about my current theme- i always feel like i‘m so bad with aesthetics, i obviously like my theme but i feel like every single person on tumblr has a theme that is prettier than mine so it was very nice to hear you say that you love it👉🏼👈🏼 (i‘m so used to it by now that i actually hate it lmao so it‘s getting yeeted soon and i‘m making megan thee stallion my pfp 🤪 (if the graphics and shit works out skdjdjdj)

#lovely anon #<333 #okay its so late now i dont wanna post it now in case i‘m too tired to notice losds of mistakes #but i also wanna post it now so.#*loads #i‘m posting it #and i absolutely do not mind if you answer like this!!!! but if you ever do feel like it‘s too much or you uust want to respond to one thing #in particular sooner then pls go ahead! <3

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captainjanegay · 4 years ago

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1, 7, 15, and 17 for the fanfic asks? ❤️ i wanted to post these but i still haven’t written anything!! i really want to but i still haven’t been able to 😅🤦🏼‍♀️

Thank you, honeybee! ♥ I totally feel you, it’s the worst when you really, really want to just sit and write but you just can’t do this?? I hope your inspiration and ability to focus on writing will be back soon ♥ Take all the time you need to recharge tho :’)

1. If you’re an author, how many WIPs do you currently have? (Be honest!)

I have... 3. Ish. I think. I have 3 that are actually started and two more that are just bullet point ideas. And I’m totally thinking about starting something for NaNoWriMo but it’s 29th of October already and I don’t even know what could I work on?? I didn’t have time to think about any more elaborate ideas that I could write for it but I kinda want to do this again, my two longest fics were born as NaNoWriMo projects :’)

7. What’s the last thing you read that made you cry?

It was totally the where the days are longer by @endofadream :’)) It was such a beautiful fic, it broke and mended and warmed my heart and it t turned me into a crying mess, it was soo good :’))

15. Post the last line you wrote without context.

The beautiful, sasy man, standing in front of him, barefoot, in just his boxer briefs and a loose t-shirt, with his cheeks red and hair messy is definitely too good to be true.

😏😏😏

17. Describe a fic that is still in the ‘ideas’ stage.

Omgg I have quite a few of them! But for the longest time I wanted to write a NASA themed AU and I’ve mentioned it to you a while ago lmao. I was thinking about it when I was still writing mainly for my old fandom (it was 1D idk why I never mention it kdjadkja) but now I can’t help thinking about writing some kind of a Martian AU cause i absolutely love this movie?? And Seb was so cute in it?? So like it could either be that both of them are astronauts and end up on a mission together and even though they know it’s not professional and there’s policy about not allowing feelings to interfere and distract them from the fact that they’re in the damn space, they just can’t help it? Spending so much time together, they can’t help to see they have so much in common and they could talk for hours, if they could? OR an AU where Bucky is an astronaut and he meets Steve and they go along really well and go for a couple of dates and it’s going great. But for some reason Bucky never outright said to Steve what his job was (like he could mention he works for NASA as an engineer or sth) and then Bucky is like “I know it’s gonna sound like I’m trying to blow you off and I PROMISE I’m not, but I need to leave for a couple months?” and Steve is like “you can just say you don’t want to go out with me anymore, I can take it”. And Bucky starts explaining that it’s not like this, but he is actually being sent to the International Space Station and Steve is like “????? that’s the most creative way to broke up with someone I’ve ever heard?” and it takes ages for Bucky to convince him that he adores Steve and there’s nothing more he’d love more than to take Steve for as many dates as he wants but he is ACTUALLY an astronaut?

dhakjda that turned out longer than I expected lmaoo As you can see, I’m pretty into those ideas but I’m too scared to start working on them? I don’t wanna mess this up??

fanfic asks

#thank you so much love! ♥#those ideas has been haunting me so much lately djasjkd #i love them but I'm so scared of them at the same time lmao #ask #hbalbat

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ddaenggtan · 5 years ago

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tag game

tagged by: @jungtaeyoongles and @hobisbeautifulass

:: nickname(s): bette-y boop, bette-y boo, bette-y bear, betet, babie, beepa (only by Fiance tho), bette in general is a nickname tbh as is my actual name, uhhhhh idk what else do yall call me???

:: bias: pls stop asking me this question i am an Anxious Libra i cannot make decisions

:: blood type: uhhhhhh i think like a+? maybe a-. definitely a.

:: favourite food: cake. mac n cheese. chickie nuggies. honestly probably chickie nuggies overall bc i could literally eat them every day of my life.

:: birthday: october 6th uwu

:: zodiac: LMAO im a walking libra stereotype

:: pronouns: she/her

:: hair length: like..........idk tbh its a weird mullet thing goin on rn bc i buzzed it funky and now its growing weird, but i think like. two and a half inches at its longest.

:: height: i am 5′8.75″ and yES that .75 is important to me

:: a crush: i mean i have a fiance so

:: what do you like about yourself: i like that i can listen to my friends and lighten their burdens some, and i like that i got long ass eyelashes for no fuckin reason, because this is the year of fucking loving ourselves

:: left or right handed: right

:: list of 3 favourite colours: blue, purple, pink.

:: (right now) eating: uh......a burger?

:: (right now) drinking: sprite uwu

:: i’m about to: finish this and the other tag thing and then do fwl reblogs and then write that hanahaki fic lmao

:: listening to: my Get Hype playlist, which currently features like fifteen Black Swans and also some reggaeton

:: kids: none

:: get married: i’M FUCKIN TRYING, smh fiance keeps saying “taxes” and “insurance issues” like thats gonna make me wanna marry her less smh

:: recent phone call: cab company on my cell, guest’s room on the work phone

:: (have u ever) dated someone twice: no? i think?

:: been cheated on: lmao yea

:: kissed someone and regretted it: lmao yea

:: lost someone special: lmao yea

:: been depressed: right now buddy boi

:: been drunk and thrown up: literally once and it was the worst experience of my life

:: had glasses or contacts: glasses, that i lost like four years ago and can’t afford to replace

:: had sex on the first date: ...................does it count if it was before the date?

:: broken someone’s heart: lmao yea

:: turned someone down: truly an obscene amount of times, bc apparently hitting on people at work is a common theme among men :)

:: cried when someone died: uh yea

:: fallen for a friend: lmao that’s how i got engaged

:: (in the last year have you) made a new friend: so many

:: laughed until u cried: did that literally yesterday

:: met someone who changed u: doesn’t everyone we meet change us in some way?

:: found out who your true friends were: lmao yea

:: found out someone was talking about you: lmao yea

:: lips or eyes: eyes, always, because as wonderful as lips are, there’s something different about it when the light hits their eyes just right and it turns into a kaleidoscope

:: hugs or kisses: kisses always

:: romantic or spontaneous: romantic

:: hookup or relationship: relationship

:: first best friend: 4th grade, and we are in fact still friends

:: surgery: nay

:: sports i joined: lmaoooooooo does academic team count

:: do u believe in yourself: im tryin

:: miracles: sometimes, but never when you really need them

:: love at first sight: in a way, yeah. not that ‘i’d do anything for you and i wouldn’t even hesitate’ kinda love, but love is so fluid and dynamic and diverse, i fall a little bit in love with people constantly every day, so i don’t understand people who don’t believe in it

:: heaven: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

:: do u have any pets: five of them, and they are all spoiled as shit

:: do u want to change your name: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

:: what did u do for your last birthday: Fiance and I went up to my mom’s house (bc it was also my mamas birthday uwu) and we played a bunch of board games and hung out and it was super fun

:: what time did u wake up today: 12:57 PM

:: what were u doing last night at midnight: waiting for a fucking cab so i could go home from work

:: something i can’t wait for: finishing the fics im writing, MOTS7, the fics that emma and jane and lisa and reni and b and nell and sora and ellie and so many other fucking people are writing, going home god damn i wanna be home already, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Wednesday so i can preorder the full 7 set, uhhhh getting married, uhhhhhhh, listen i look forward to a lot of things,

:: last time u saw your mum: uhhhhhhhhhhh the 1st? i think? im seeing her wednesday tho!!!

:: what is one thing u wish u could change about your life: that i didn’t have to worry about money and food as much so i could actually enjoy more of it lmao

I’d like to tag…. @personawife @strawbxxymilk @seokoloqy @peekaboongi @honiboyyoon @helpitskpop @gimmeyoon and literally anyone else that wants to do this

#mine #about bette #about me

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stuckwith-harry · 5 years ago

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hey you, i only followed you recently and I really like your hinny fanfics and your poetry. Would you mind telling me about your process when you write? I really wanna learn how to write properly and you seem to take your craft so seriously. How do you built a story, how often do you edit, how much time do you spent on your work, what do you try to go for,...? Thanks xxx

Anon, this is the coolest ask I’ve EVER received, and I’m hanging it on my wall next to all the colour-coded flashcards with poems on them. This is going to be LONG, and by no means exhaustive - I’m gonna jump around and ramble a bit and if there’s anything specific you wanna hear more about, please ask! I fucking love talking about writing!

I’m gonna put most of this under a cut, but before we dive in: yes, I tAkE mY wRiTiNg sErIoUsLy in the sense that I’d like to publish some original bodies of work in my life and to have physical copies of them exist on a bookshelf that’s not my own. I don’t need it to pay the bills, but if you googled my full name I’d like for, like, a poetry collection to show up and not, I don’t know, the two poems I got published in a regional newspaper when I was eight.

(And please let the record show that they’re fine poems for a primary schooler. The cringe years came way after that, kids.)

So, even having some ambitions in the industry, the reality is that I’m a 19-year-old kid with a keyboard and a dodgy internet connection who discovered fanfiction when she was twelve and got hooked for life. We’re going to retire the idea of “writing properly” for now, because writing is supposed to be fun and I haven’t actually gotten accepted into that Creative Writing Bachelor’s degree I so desperately want to do. YET. Don’t let the fancy writing blog (@jessicagluch) fool you into thinking I know what the heck I’m doing. But, okay, with that out of the way, let’s get into what I’m personally doing right now, yeah?

Fanfiction

You asked about process, and the truth is, I don’t … really have one. For the Muggle/FWB AU called “Let Me love” I just published, I actually wrote a pretty detailed outline that I then filled in, which was fun, but it’s not a habit exactly. I’d written a lot of assorted scenes and pieces of dialogue for that one, too, so I had a lot of material and just had to put all the scraps and pieces in order and stitch it all together. After the brainstorming, word-vomity part of writing Let Me love, my #1 task was figuring out where everything went, and making sure it’s all there.

As soon as I’d written a full first draft, no gaps, and the anatomy of the whole thing had somewhat clicked into place, I moved away from it for a while. Wrote something else. Came back maybe a week or two later, polished up the prose a bit very late at night.

Figure out when your creative hours are, if you can pinpoint it at all. Mine are precisely “I was supposed to be asleep two hours ago and I’ve got an important thing tomorrow” o’ clock. Sigh.

Just - leave it alone for a bit, come back with fresh eyes. I love writing Let Me love - I’m working on part 2 right now - but after you’ve fucked around with the same sentence fifty times, you get sick of it. And I did. At some point you have to decide to put down the pen and let it be.

Especially because fanfiction isn’t something you’re writing for a publisher - hopefully, you’re writing it mostly for you - no one is holding a gun to your head to get rid of every last adverb or stuff like that. I can do what I want, MOM. I am allowed to make the thing I’m writing as tropey and campy as I want and hold up a big old middle finger to the rules, if that’s what I want to do.

Fanfiction, to me, is this grand, batshit writing playground. That’s why I fell for it in the first place - it’s inherently self-indulgent and hedonistic and that you can write everything EXACTLY as you please is the primary purpose it serves as a genre. So go wild.

(Process-wise, the one thing I do very consistently is making moodboards and playlists. I like having some inspiration material to swim around in, which helps me figure out what the story looks and feels and sounds like in my head.

Every fic has a soundtrack. SOUNDTRACKS ARE IMPORTANT, PEOPLE.

Like, Let Me love is all coloured lights and night-time London and texts left on read. It’s neon signs and wearing somebody else’s t-shirt, messy bedsheets and hangover breakfasts and quarter-life crises.

This is the Pinterest board.)

What I pay most attention to is the stuff that gives the text depth beyond the surface. I look for metaphors - and I personally prefer the ones that carry through the whole thing, ideas we explore throughout the story and revisit at the end. I look for themes that hold a story together beyond the plot. I look for subtext and imagery and I want symbolism, goddamnit.

(That’s the poet kicking in.)

And of course, I’m a product of my generation, so I love referencing other bodies of work and subverting tropes and stuff like that. Hey kids, intertextuality is fun!

(Like, do you see what I did there? See how the phrase “hey kids x is fun” in itself is a reference to something? See??? I’m a fucking genius.)

I think we need some examples. Allow me to toot my own horn for a minute.

In the Halloween 2018 oneshot I wrote, which is about Harry grappling with the anniversary of his parents’ death when he’s a little older, he visits the graveyard with Ginny and Lily Luna. Ginny comments that “it’s freezing”, to which Harry responds with the titular, “you’re warm”. And yes, it’s October, it’s probably cold. They’re keeping each other warm. And yes, it’s maybe about comfort in harsh situations in general, a more metaphorical warmth, if you will. I get it.

But when you remember this exchange is taking place on a graveyard, you might start to wonder about warm, living bodies as opposed to cold, deceased ones. And then you think about how this whole story is about the living remembering - in a sense, living with - the dead. And how it’s about death as a part of Harry’s life. And you can probably guess by now that all my literature teachers fucking adored me.

(But he’s also choosing a side here, maybe. But I’m merely the author, you don’t have to listen to me at all. My words beyond the words don’t mean shit unless you decide they do and even then you’re going to find yourself knees-deep in a debate around authorial intent in record-time. In the age of “Nagini was a cursed human woman all along”, I’m not sure I want that.)

I also reference other pieces of work a lot. Often poems, and even more frequently, songs. The songs in Let Me love are VERY IMPORTANT and I can’t show you the full playlist right now because SPOILERS. But the chapters are split into sub-sections via song lyrics. Those are part of the playlist. There’s also a lot of referencing songs in general because Harry is a big music fan in this one, but that’s just indulgence on my part. If I want to make a 21st century Harry a Mitski stan, then I will. And I did!

(AND Let Me love has a Friends reference. For funsies, but also, for much more than funsies.)

“I love you / please do not use it” was inspired by a poem by Savannah Brown called “organs”. (It’s linked in the author’s notes at the beginning.)

“It’s two sugars, right?” borrows and/or references a ton of lines and phrases from T. S. Eliot’s The Hollow Men. Most noticeably:

Sublety isn’t my middle name, exactly. (The forget-me-not-blue sky in The Bride On The Train, anyone?)

In short: I like when my fanfictions are worth rereading. I like when you can come out the second read having found a little more than you did the first. I like when you can wander around a little, and, like a treasure hunter, make some strange new discoveries.

Lastly: of course, writing from your own experience helps. Spy on your own life. Collect all the ways in makes you feel, like a thief, write it down, memorise it, put it in the story. Reuse! Recycle! ✊🏻

I fortunately don’t relate to Harry’s childhood trauma, but the feeling at the beginning of “We’ll figure it out” - which is a story set shortly after him and Ginny find out she’s pregnant and he’s struggling to connect with everybody else’s simple bliss, because he’s terrified, and he’s terrified of admitting he’s terrified - that was real. That “wait a minute, this moment is amazing. I’m supposed to be the happiest person on the planet right now. Why am I not feeling it? What is this emptiness? Am I not happy right now? Why am I having doubts? I’m not supposed to have any doubts! What the fuck is wrong with me?”, that was lifted from a specific experience.

Side note, I’m really proud of that one.

Okay, poetry!

Where there is even less rules and more fucking around ensues!

I read and promptly lost a quote recently about how explaining a song sort of defeats the purpose. (I’ll link it here if I ever find it again.) In some ways, poems and songs work really similarly, and I think it applies here as well: if you could really explain the whole poem in one sentence, or a few sentences, if you could accurately and concisely summarise exactly how it feels, then you wouldn’t really need the poem. My favourite poems (or songs) tend to be the ones that outline a really specific emotion via a few powerful images, but I couldn’t precisely tell you what the emotion is. Like, I know exactly what this thing is saying, I know this exact feeling, I GET-GET it, but don’t ask me to explain the thing, just READ the THING, and you’ll KNOW.

Mitski does this really well. Like, I couldn’t explain to you what Last Words Of A Shooting Star makes me feel, but it does. I can tell you that “I am relieved that I left my room tidy, they’ll think of me kindly when they come for my things” cuts through me like a hot blade but I can’t pinpoint exactly why and I don’t want to. All I know is she Gets It, and that I want her writing chops, goddamnit.

Or, like, look at Laura Gilpin’s Two-Headed Calf. Yeah, I’ve read that poem a hundred times and thought a lot about all the themes it’s presenting me with. But I have zero desire to explain those themes to you, because I’d kind of be robbing it of its magic. I don’t want to tell you what it’s about. I want you to read it and I want to simply sit with the knowledge that we know, we Get It, that “twice as many stars as usual” kicked you in the shins, emotionally speaking, as much as it did me.

Few words, max impact, is key.

In Mary Oliver’s words, we want something inexplicable made plain, not unlike a suddenly harmonic passage in an otherwise difficult and sometimes dissonantsymphony - even if it is only for the moment of hearing it.

I’m realising right now that leading with these shining examples and then following them up with my own thing is nerve-wracking. But I like to think that I accomplished something like that with a little poem I wrote called Basements.

It’s is based on the prompt “back to nature” and follows that, uhm, somewhat loosely, a little subverted. I think it’s about impermanence and nostalgia and the fact that the places we lived in continue to exist even when our lives in them don’t anymore. It’s about that and a lot of other things. Maybe. The truth is, I don’t want to explain it to you: I just want you to read it, and then I hope that it made you feel something, and I’m going to trust that you Get It. Maybe you don’t get the same things I did, but that’s great. I’d love nothing more.

Before it was all those things, it was a poem about my life. The neighbourhood with the yellow house across the graveyard that I spent nine mostly happy years in. (The house, not the graveyard.) Every single thing in there is true: my sister really bust her lip and we both cried; wild lilac really grew there; we did spend most of our summers catching tadpoles, and yes, that neighbourhood was a construction site from the first day we lived there to the very last.

And I really sat in the driver’s seat of the family car about a year ago and watched it from afar. I didn’t come up with that - it’s my life. I only went on a scavenger hunt through my own memories, through the places and records and mementos of my life, and arranged a few specific anecdotes in a way that would give them meaning.

It’s kind of what I’m proudest of when it comes to my poetry - that I get to just live my life and see the metaphor and the meaning and symbolism as I’m experiencing it. I sat in the car and I thought, huh, that’s definitely making me Feel A Thing right now, that I’m sitting in the driver’s seat looking at this place I haven’t really been to in years, my childhood home, where I don’t live anymore. That I drove here myself.

I think that, when done right, specific makes universal. If you arrange a kaleidoscope of memories in just the right way, what it’s making you feel will speak for itself, and you won’t have to explain it. Most people who’ve read “basements” probably didn’t spend countless summers playing in literal holes, originally dug out for basements that were never built because no one wanted to move there. Holes that then grew full of weeds and wild lilac and felt like miniature jungles right outside our parents’ houses. It was perfect, it was specifically mine, but the feeling behind it is universal, I think.

Like, that’s how half of Taylor Swift’s RED works. That’s how most good Taylor Swift songs work. That’s why the bridge in Out of the Woods is so good and why I love New Year’s Day so much and it’s EXACTLY why All Too Well is considered her best song by so many people. Because she zoomed in on the details of her life and let the world take a look. Because “we dance around the kitchen in the refrigerator light” is a line in that song. THAT’s why it MAKES YOU FEEL THE THING.

Back to poems? This:

So we tell them all about the dayWe planned revolutions on my bedroom floor, or how we onceSpent an entire Monday lunch break making life plans over ice creamAnd most of our parties talking politics over beerWe both paid for ourselves.About the days you drive me to school. In your carI am the girl, front-seat passenger of our lives,Who does not need reach for the steering wheel –The road is alright.

isn’t fiction. These are my memories, carefully selected and re-arranged for Politics at Parties Boy.

I didn’t make up these film stills of a non-romantic relationship that never became anything other than non-romantic because neither party ever made a move. What I did is look at my own life like it’s a piece of fiction. If these memories were a movie, you could pluck them apart and say, see, the screenwriters put this scene here to communicate that.

The truth is, I am the screenwriter and the protagonist and the actress and the director and the camerawoman. I looked at a teenage girl who refused to let her friend buy her a beer at a school party and decided “huh, I guess that tells us everything we need to know” because I was that girl.

And I did pay for the beer, so we’d never move into “let me buy you a drink” territory. He was already driving me to school.

That’s my best lesson on poetry, really. I look at my life like it’s a piece of fiction and then I make it one. I put personal memories in poems meant to be read by other people, I overinterpret everything that happens to me, am literally constantly thinking about how to work every knock-back and struggle into my narrative arc and look for symbolism in anything from the date, the weather, and the colour of my front door. I watch myself in third person all the time and thus become my own muse. I’m the painter and the painting.

It’s a somewhat narcissistic and masturbatory approach to poetry, but as far as writing about your own life goes, it’s what works for me.

As far as writing about not yourself goes - well, I’m a narcissist and I’m bad at that, but I wrote a poem about the Mars rover Opportunity that shut down this February called Spirit shuts down and Opportunity feels no tremble, no ache. For stuff like that, if you don’t happen to be Struck TM by a lightning bolt of inspiration (which is the exception, not the rule), a good old-fashioned mind-map helps. I just let my robot grief go wild on the page for a bit and what I ended up writing about was death and the human condition and being a teenage girl, maybe.

I really enjoy taking two concepts/ideas and juxtaposing them, watching a theme unfold in the overlap. Like, it’s a poem about a robot AND about being a teenage girl and in between those two lies a poem about the futile attempts to teach a robot human emotion. Maybe.

It’s a poem about how my mum always cries at the airport and about me making my own happiness my priority and it kind of ends up being about my intense guilt of making my parents watch me change and grow and leave.

It’s about the night I wandered through a quiet street in Central London at 1 a.m. and realised that the city of my dreams sleeps like any other place, that people wake up early and make coffee and go to work and have bad days here. That it’s not all dream. It’s some people’s lives. But it’s also about watching another person sleep - the way someone’s face changes when they do.

In the middle lay a poem about finding a friend in a lover. Not the daydream, but my life.

Lastly, I can’t talk about my own poetry without talking about my darling poem 5 disasters. It’s my pride and joy. Like, you could kill me write now and I’d be like, it’s okay, I’ve written the poem I want to be remembered for and it’s this one. I wrote it in less than a day and every time I think about the fact that I wrote

I cravedsomething more violent than death, somethingviolent enough to bea beginningand for my life to be thousands of themI wantednothingto remainexcept the girl that sentthe disastersand survived -may this wasteland bewhere I find her.

… I lose my shit a little bit.

(5 disasters was a rarity in how quickly I wrote it. It often takes me weeks. Sometimes months. There’s poems I’ve been meaning to write for years now and I still haven’t found the words. Take your time.)

5 disasters is a lot of things, but within the context of the poetry collection it’s hopefully going to exist in one day, it serves as almost an instruction manual for metaphors: here, the floods and rainfalls are always change and the forest fires are always my highschool demons and my friends and how they look the same. The colour yellow is always referencing the same love. Basically, I like pinpointing my symbolisms and then crafting a poem around them. You end up creating something like an in-poem universe that you get to navigate like a fantasy novel. Like you’re telling a story about a natural disaster, but it’s all a metaphor, Hazel Grace.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. As I do.

I hope this serves as a starting point of sorts, anon. Most importantly, have fun, don’t concern yourself with all the rules too much. Experiment, be bold, read lots.

Again, if you’ve got any questions, I’d be thrilled to help. Thanks for the opportunity to toot my own horn to this outrageous degree, it’s been a blast.

#this is SO LONG i'm SO SORRY i was VERY EXCITED #jessie the writer #owl post #anon

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lisatelramor · 5 years ago

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You Can Tie the Knot

So, my brain took a brief jaunt away from fanfic for half of October, and while most of what came out of that is something that maybe 5 people would recognize characters to, I had my brain latch onto a Certain Image at work one day, came home, and wrote a OC porn fic in one sitting for the first time in years. (considering how often my brain stalls on sex content and it’s rare to write ANY scene in one sitting, I was actually pretty happy about it). I’ve decided to post it here since technically I’ve posted with these characters before. This is in the same universe as my stories Still Love After and Getting On Your Nerve, but reading those isn’t really necessary. This is literally PWP. 100% PWP. (Tho for anyone curious, Ayrien’s mentioned in Still Love After as the ‘yoga asshole,’ and has an... unhealthy relationship in Getting On Your Nerve with a different character than featured here. If anyone DID read GOYN and wondered why this fic exists, may I just say that Glen and Ayrien’s relationship is very much It’s Complicated in all aspects ^_^;;

PWP under the cut featuring shibari and BDSM themes.

Glen tied the last knot, smoothing a hand along Ayrien’s bare skin between the mesh of rope. Ayrien was trembling. He’d gotten hard before Glen was even halfway through, gone silent around when Glen got his arms tied back.

It was something Glen never thought he’d see, a quiet, compliant Ayrien, responsive to the slightest touch. He tested the give to key places, making sure nothing was too tight or loose and no blood flow would be restricted to the point of injury. Then he tugged lightly on Ayrien’s blindfold, the first thing he’d tied on his long-time friend. “How’re you doing? Still feel your fingers?”

Ayrien licked his lips, mouth opening but no sound coming out.

“Hmm, words, Ayrien. While you still can.”

Ayrien swallowed. “Good,” he said, sounding wrecked although, objectively speaking, they’d barely started yet.

“Good.” Glen pet his hair in reward, feeling his shiver. “Is it everything that you pictured so far? I’d hope it was worth learning how to tie so many knots.”

“Yes,” Ayrien said.

Glen could push for more words, but that was good enough for now. He’d spent the last half hour watching Ayrien fall into subspace and he was ready to play. “Time well spent then,” Glen said. “Just one last thing, if you’ll open up.”

Ayrien’s mouth fell open obediently. If only he listened on the average day as well as he did in the bedroom. Glen slip a ball gag into his mouth and heard Ayrien groan low around it. He tightened the strap and tested its give as he’d done with the ropes; Ayrien wouldn’t care if Glen hurt him, but the only pains Glen wanted to give were the intentional kind.

“Wonderful,” Glen said, sitting back to admire his work. For a first time trying his hand at shibari, it had come out very nicely, a pretty red lattice across Ayrien’s chest and binding his arms back before bracketing his ass and trailing down his legs, forcing him in a kneeling position. It was all the prettier a picture with a gray silk blindfold over Ayrien’s eyes and the red ball gag stopping up his mouth. Ayrien. Absolutely at his mercy. He’d had fantasies in high school like this. Well, sort of like this. Less silk rope and more kneeling at his feet.

Glen leaned on an elbow, tracing a finger down Ayrien’s side, enjoying how he twitched and moved, instinctively tugging against the rope. With that dirty-gold hair of his falling down along his collarbones it was almost unfair how good he looked. The bastard.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to gag you,” he said, hand trailing down Ayrien’s hip. “I’m pretty sure it wasn’t sexual in middle school.” He ran a hand feather-light up Ayrien’s inner thigh, enjoying the way he breathed harder. “It definitely was by the end of high school.”

Ayrien made a sound around the gag as Glen rubbed where his thigh met his pelvis. He was dripping already. Even his cock was pretty, red and rosy and sleek, only a slight upward curve to it. Hairless even to his balls because Ayrien was definitely vain enough to wax on occasion even if he pretended he wasn’t. He couldn’t use the excuse of crossdressing for casework all the time; it was definitely a preference.

“Hmm.” He dipped a finger along the bead of precum at the head of Ayrien’s cock, watched him jerk full-bodied at the touch. Because Glen was just as much of a bastard as Ayrien was, he didn’t touch him with more than a finger, fiddling with the head of his cock like it was a straw wrapped on a fast-food table, idle and seemingly thoughtless. “You know, I’m a bit of a sadist. And it’s entirely your fault. I internalized your sick sense of humor at some point.” He smiled as Ayrien squirmed. “I realized it around the time I punched you in the face of course. The biggest adrenaline rush—but of course I can’t just go around punching people in the face for fun. That just isn’t socially acceptable. I suppose neither is this to some people, but it works.” A thumb under the head, one finger tracing the other side, almost but not quite circling him.

Ayrien let out a whimper.

Glen bit his lip and adjusted his jeans. “I bet you want me to knock you around a bit now, don’t you. Make you hurt.” Ayrien was shivering, dick twitching in Glen’s hand. “I could.” Glen let go. And Ayrien swayed toward where his hand had been, another groan muffled by rubber between his lips. “But you know I’m not just that kind of sadist. You’re a social sadist. Like to watch people squirm, get angry or stressed."

Glen got to his feet, circled the pretty picture of a red faced, trembling Ayrien at his feet. “I’m not a social sadist,” he said conversationally, enjoying how Ayrien tried to tilt his head to pinpoint where Glen was. “But I do like a bit of hitting. Or course you’d like that. You like pain.” He gripped Ayrien’s hair without warning, close to his scalp and tugged upward until Ayrien was forced to strain against the ropes to relieve the strain on his neck. “And I can like how pretty a shade of red you’d turn if I spanked you. Another thing I’ve fantasized about, by the way.” Ayrien shuddered, breathing hard, body a pretty pretty line of tense muscles and bowed back and new-forming bruises as the ropes held him down. “But you know what would get me off more?”

Glen kept his grip tight, leaning down to speak in Ayrien’s ear. “Denying you.”

The desperate sound that brought was music to his ears, the tremble that much more intoxicating. He could do whatever he wanted, and oh, Ayrien would love it if he made him bleed. But people made Ayrien bleed all the time. People hurt and punched and threw Ayrien’s nastiness right back at him and Ayrien would go back for more. Glen could hurt him and he would sing beautifully with pained pleasure, but a gentle touch and the right words, he knew Ayrien would break. And Glen was always so good at taking things apart to put back together.

Glen kissed Ayrien’s cheek, jaw, down the side of his neck. One hand braced against Ayrien’s throat, just to let him know he could choke him but wouldn’t.

Glen spent so many years being the one cleaning up Ayrien’s social messes, smoothing over jagged, cruel words and playing bridge to societal sensibilities. Ayrien was an asshole and everyone thought Glen was the nice one. Perhaps at one point he was nice, or maybe he just hadn’t wanted to get in trouble with school or his parents or the police. Glen wasn’t nice. Glen watched Ayrien struggle to find middle ground as an adult and mercilessly called him out on every failure. He knew full well why Ayrien was a mess and didn’t give him any slack for it because he’d let him walk over him once, and he’d never let it happen again. He struck first and harder with words and could make Ayrien cry if he wanted to, and not in the fun way. He could blackmail him for eternity if he so chose.

He didn’t. But it wasn’t because he was nice or because they were friends. He just didn’t have any reason to do it.

Glen was just as much of a bastard as Ayrien was, so he kissed slow arcs along bruising flesh, let Ayrien try to twist and make the ropes turn actually painful. They wouldn’t be painful of course. Glen made sure of that. They’d bruise but they wouldn’t chafe. They wouldn’t leave his fingers red and aching.

“You’re beautiful like this,” Glen said. Because it was true and he only told Ayrien truths even if they cut deep. The hand not at Ayrien’s throat wandered his chest, dipping into each and every gap in the rope-work. “So pretty and perfect and having to sit and take whatever I’ll give. I thought about buying a ring gag, you know. Something to hold your mouth open so you’d have to take my cock down your throat.” Ayrien made a sound that could be a sob. His throat clenched in a swallow beneath Glen’s light grip. “Maybe sometime I’ll buy one and use it, your hands tied up so you couldn’t do anything.”

Glen licked his lips. He was so hard now, but that was part of what made this good. Of making Ayrien a mess and barely touching himself.

“Sometime I’d fuck you how you like it and make it hurt so good.” Just the hint of nails to Ayrien’s inner thigh, the scrape of teeth to the back of his neck, not biting, just enough to promise. “But not this time. Pain doesn’t make you break, Ayrien, and I want to see you broken.” Definitely a sob, and another jerk against the bonds.

Ayrien was powerless. Trapped in Glen’s hands and words and writhing under them, seeking any bit of ache he could and getting soft touch and kisses instead. His breath came in great shuddery gasps that made Glen’s own breathing pick up.

Glen touched him like he was soothing a deer, cautious and gentle. He placed kisses on Ayren’s neck and face. His beautiful collarbones where they were starting to bruise. His shuddering chest and twitching hip. His knee. His inner thigh. Right before his cock.

Glen stayed there a moment just breathing in Ayrien’s scent, and the sweat and precum and the wonderfully musky smell of an aroused man. He watched Ayrien’s cock twitch and his hips fail to get friction as Glen held him still. He watched Ayrien’s face contort beneath the blindfold and around the gag. He watched Ayrien break, tears leaking from beneath the blindfold.

He kept watching for a cruelly long time as Ayrien sobbed, just breathing against his cock.

The details were committed to memory. How many other people had seen Ayrien like this? How many had managed to make him cry? How many had done it from soft touches instead of sharp nails, or teeth or a quick fist?

Glen pushed himself up, using Ayrien’s hips as leverage to reach his face. He kissed the tear tracks gently, pressed his clothed body to Ayrien’s naked one and felt him press into the connection. “You’ve been so good,” he said. He brushed a thumb under the blindfold to chase tears away. “You listened so well for me. Now you get your reward.”

He unclipped the ball gag and it fell free from Ayrien’s gasps for breath and words spilled out. “Glen, please please god please I need you to do something touch me please please, god—” All shuddery and caught up in sobs and it was gorgeous. Glen loved and hated it all wrapped in one, bringing Ayrien to this point. It almost made him want to push him further, not just break, but shatter. That would be going too far though and Glen knew it.

He cut off Ayrien’s babble with a kiss, forcing him to accept it and Ayrien tried to kiss back, so sloppy it was almost pathetic. Glen felt like he’d finally won something over Ayrien for good. But Ayrien was still crying and Glen had promised a reward. One hand fisted in Ayrien’s hair, the other curled rough around his cock.

Ayrien keened into Glen’s mouth, head and back forced into an agonizing angle and his cock pumped too hard and fast for Glen’s personal taste. It was just the right amount of discomfort for Ayrien’s needs though because he came in less than thirty seconds of the treatment, whimpering against Glen’s lips as Glen kept touching him into overstimulation. When he finally let go, Ayrien swayed in place, breathing too hard and looking like he’d collapse if he wasn’t still tied up.

His mouth was red, his hair disheveled and sticking to his face where tears and spit made it wet. Bruises would be setting in with such a gorgeous pattern soon. And it was all at Glen’s hands. Glen let go of Ayrien’s cock to squeeze his own, not caring that he smeared cum along his pants. His other hand undid Ayrien’s blindfold.

“Still okay?” Glen asked, rubbing away a new set of tears.

Ayrien’s eyes fluttered open, pale lashes damp and glittering. His pupils were still huge. He pressed his head into Glen’s touch like a big, affectionate cat. It was cute and ridiculous. Glen bit his lip.

“Words, Ayrien,” he reminded.

“Mm. Good,” Ayrien slurred. “…you?”

“Oh, I’m good.” He could have gotten off with a few strokes, but he’d rather wait a little longer. Maybe hold off entirely and jerk off to the memory of Ayrien sobbing. Glen shivered. Hmm, yeah, he was just as fucked up as Ayrien was, and it definitely was Ayrien’s fault. His mother always did warn him that Ayrien was a bad influence. Pity Glen never gave a fuck. “Gonna untie you now.”

Ayrien hummed, flopping forward as much as he was able, nose smooshed against Glen’s neck and shoulder. “You were mean,” he mumbled as Glen began the annoying process of un-tying all the knots he’d so carefully made.

“I’m a mean person,” Glen said. “You’re always saying it.”

“‘Killjoy’ is different than ‘mean,’” Ayrien said. He nuzzled closer and breathed Glen in. “Can’t believe you didn’t even take your clothes off.”

“Didn’t need to.” The power dynamic of being clothed while Ayrien wasn’t was also a turn on, so. Yeah. Glen was still hard, but it was cooling to a comfortable level of arousal rather than immediately needy. Which was good because Ayrien was probably still crawling back from subspace. He wasn’t usually clingy, but then they didn’t usually do anything sexual with each other.

Ayrien hummed again and let Glen maneuver him this way and that like a giant floppy ragdoll with lead weights in its extremities until he had his legs free. Ayrien whimpered when he got his legs stretched straight in front of him. His head lolled back against Glen’s shoulder as Glen went to work on his arms.

“Shit, they’re all pins and needles.”

“Well you were kneeling for ages,” Glen said. He paused to rub one leg helpfully. Ayrien’s breath caught when he thumbed over a bruise. “You also asked for it when you suggested shibari.”

“You need to tie me up again sometime,” Ayrien said. “And maybe not be so gentle.”

“Hmm, maybe,” Glen said. Truthfully, he kind of wanted to keep it to this sort of dynamic if they did this again. Let handcuffs be rough play; shibari was an art and demanded some delicacy.

It was only after Glen freed Ayrien’s arms and was halfway done with the last few knots at his chest and shoulders that Ayrien roused back to a semblance of his usual self. “Did you even come?” he asked, frowning down at Glen’s crotch where his erection had mostly subsided from the scene turning into cuddles.

“Later,” Glen said.

“But.”

Glen cut him off with a finger and a quick kiss. “Later. Later we can shower and you can suck me off. Or you can shower and I can get off in your bed and you can think of me while you’re washing.”

Ayrien actually blushed. It was hard to get him to blush, but he still didn’t expect to hear this sort of thing directed at him from Glen’s mouth. Glen would enjoy it for as long as that reaction lasted. “…more fun if I get to see you,” he said after a moment.

“Shower together it is,” Glen said.

Ayrien grinned. Glen knew he was back to normal when he gave a wink and said, “You just want to bruise my knees and shut me up. All those gag fantasies were about choking me with your cock, weren’t they?”

Glen had years of self-control not reacting to Ayrien, so he only raised an eyebrow. “Oh, some of them. Maybe someday I’ll show you some more. I might need a few more toys for some of them.”

Ayrien blinked a few times and groaned. “Ugh, why did I think you’d be different in bed than any other part of my life?”

“Wishful thinking?” Glen joked. “But you like it.” Ayrien liked Glen not taking his bullshit. He liked when Glen cut him down and made him honest. He even liked when Glen was cruel, most of the time. But Ayrien hated himself, so of course he liked it. Glen would have to do the work to find the right balance. To figure out where the spot was between harm and boundaries all over again. Tonight, he thought, was a step in that direction.

Ayrien rolled his eyes as the last coil of rope slid free.

Glen gave him a kiss and prodded him away, admiring the red lattice marks with every step toward the door.

#my writing #my characters #pwp #if Ayrien had a theme song it'd be Florence's Kiss with a Fist #the man can't do healthy anything #but Glen's as close as he gets to a healthy relationship dynamic #not sure what glen's song would be #but his public and private selves are a bit of a gap #this wouldn't have gone near so smooth if Ayrien wasn't gagged #real question is how did ayrien talk glen into trying this in the first place #glen: wants and needs are different. i'll meet your needs but i don't promise you everything you want #for characters i've never written a full story for #they have a lot of history in my head #but i suppose that happens over the course of twelve years #ofic

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chloesabug · 3 years ago

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i’ve seen sooo many on pinterest so i’ll go on there soon once i kinda know what i wanna do. i think the celebration will start like the last week of october so i have some time lol. i’m excited tho!! and yay thank u!! but yess the elissabat icon is sooo cute i can’t get over it. i miss unwrapping monster high dolls on christmas 😭🥺 fun factt for halloween growing up i’ve been abbey and spectra! spectra isn’t that well known because she’s just a ghost who runs the gossip blog but she’s underrated lol

aw noo not ur bestie leaving 🥺 that’s always the worst when you’re having fun and time flys by so fast. it makes me think like why can’t time go by fast when i’m working out or doing something i dont wanna do 😭 my day is pretty good! just finished some homework and i think i’m gonna watch some real housewives while i write a jj fic!

yes!! i was gonna say i have a whole bunch in my saved pins on pinterest!! i did a scarah screams theme before this one but it didn’t match at all :( so i did this one 😊 and omg- i used to love going to the store and getting a new monster high doll i had so many. but spectra she looks so badass and pretty dang why didn’t i have the idea of dressing up as a monster high 🥺 my memories are fuzzy but i think i was obsessed with draculara and rochelle goyle 😌

and i know i miss her buttt sometimes i like when she leaves so then i can have alone time and relax because everyone bothers me when she’s here but when she’s gone they leave me alone 💀 but now i’m procrastinating i need to clean and dust off my stuff in my room but i don’t wanna get up from my bed 😫 but also i’ve never seen real housewives, i need more shows. but oooo a jj fic 👀👀

#liv 🫒#moots 🍀#asks

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argentconflagration · 7 years ago

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A, B, C, O, Q, V, and uh... W, to throw in one non-shipping question

Ok I just got home and @noddytheornithopod I’m going to answer this one first just to break it up a little more evenly.

A: Your current OTP.

… That really depends on how long a period of time is captured by “now”. For maybe a week now, I’ve been in the thrall of an obsession with Zero Two / Hiro from Darling in the Franxx, but speaking in a more overall sense, I’d certainly say Kirishima and Bakugou.

B: A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind.

I mean I don’t know if this counts because it was basically immediately after I watched BNHA that @peregr1ne explained TsuYami to me, which I wouldn’t have shipped on my own, but consider – it’s not just theme shipping. Tokoyami is obviously uncomfortable with who he is. He seems to believe that on the inside, people look down on him or fear him. He sort of reminds me of me in that I tend to be extremely surprised when anyone besides those I’m super close with does anything nice for me. Where as Tsuyu is not only visibly and deliberately ‘odd’, but she speaks her feelings very frankly. And from Tsuyu’s side, it makes a lot of sense to me that she’d find the most withdrawn and awkward kid in the class (with an animal head, to boot) and say “I want that one.”

C: A pairing you wish you shipped, but just can’t.

Umm the background pairings in kiribaku fics sure would annoy me a lot less if I shipped Kaminari and Jirou. I’ll leave it at that.

O: Choose a song at random, what ship does it remind you of?

The first song that came on was “You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid” which reminds me of Terezi?Vriska because … well just watch this AMV, that pretty much explains it. But I kind of wanted to make a new song/ship connection, so I’m going to keep going.

Second song that came on was “She’s My Ride Home” by Blue October, a kind of silly song about being in love while doing things like murder. I just know there’s an OTP that this makes sense with, but it’s not coming to me. (Simply trying to find the connection was sorta fun tho.)

… I tried to keep going and find a song that I could make a new connection about, but discovered that my music library maybe just isn’t suited for that? I listen to a lot of music about heartbreak / unrequited love / tragic romance, while I tend to prefer ships where the ship is the happy, healing part of the characters’ lives, even if everything else in their life is tragic.

Q: A ship you’ve abandoned and why.

Hmm … I’m not sure there’s any ship I’ve totally abandoned, in that I don’t like it even a little bit anymore, but my first ship in the Homestuck fandom was actually JohnKat, and of course I lost a lot of interest in that when I got much more involved in Karezi.

V: Do you have any 3-way ships? If so, what?

Hell yes, I am so here for the polyamory!

Special shoutout to Takuto/Wako/Sugata from Star Driver! Most of my poly ships are a couple I like + another person (kind of shaped by the fact that it’s much easier to find fics of couples than OT3+’s) but Takuto/Wako/Sugata is truly an equilateral triangle in the sense that there isn’t a particular dyad among them that’s my favorite.

… Okay I just spent several minutes going back and rereading the tiny amount of Takuto/Wako/Sugata fanfic in existence. I have basically forgotten literally everything about Star Driver except that Takuto, Wako, and Sugata are in love and their basic personalities.

Anyway not to toot my own horn, but I’m sorta on an Izuku/Ochako/Tsuyu kick because it ended up being endgame in the Ochako-centric longfic I wrote during NaNo last year. Now that I think about it, I think I ship the three of them partly because I’m frustrated with the ship war between IzuOcha and TsuChako – specifically, the queerphobia. No, Horikoshi is never going to make anything queer canon, with the exception of KiriBaku if we get very, very, very lucky, and you don’t have to rub it in everyone else’s faces just because your ship is straight. And on the other hand, Ochako is canonically interested in Izuku, so the bi erasure of SHE’S A LESBIAN!!! gets old really fast.

(I appreciate the way this question was matched to the letter.)

W: 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms.

-Terezi Pyrope from Homestuck

-Steven from Steven Universe

-Chandra Nalaar from Magic: the Gathering

-Kirishima Eijirou from Boku no Hero Academia

-Zero Two from Darling in the Franxx

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