#tho i think that the later planning was more in-depth for specific moments so its not a super fair comparison

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

[k7l4d4]

Midnight Striga: Fairy Tail/Owl House Cross Fic Episode 5 Part 10

Hello, and once again, I welcome you to Midnight Striga. Please, enjoy.

Perry Porter strode into the Covention Center, eyes easily panning across and compartmentalizing the tragic sights around him, a skill he picked up by virtue of sheer experience. Clinically, he noted the amount of bodies present, living and dead, as well as the brow-raising sight of what could only be human corpses, if the ears were any indicator. He felt a sinking sensation within his stomach; whatever had occurred today would rock the Isles to its core, of that he had no doubt.

Shaking his head, Perry scanned the crowd again, eyes widening at the sight of a hand waving him over. Rushing over, he slid to a stop in front of his son, Augustus; his silly, energetic, passionate, brilliant son, Augustus, alive and well. “This is Perry Porter, on the scene saying,” He started, before pulling Gus into a hug. “I am so happy you’re alright.” He sighed, relieved, feeling Gus relax into his grip.

“I-I am really glad you got here so quickly dad.” Gus choked out, a light sprinkling of tears in his eyes. “A lot’s happened, and I really, really want to talk with you about it, but something more important came up, and I think you can help out, you know?” He put on his bravest smile, trying to hold in the scream that was building ever since he had managed to process that yes, everything that had happened to today was all but over.

“I really think it would be best that I try and talk with you about what happened here,” Perry began, before noticing the stubborn expression on his son’s face, “But I can see that you won’t budge on this. So, shall we?” He calmly asked, gesturing for his son to lead the way, which he did with a beaming smile.

As they walked through the clinic, Perry idly noted the general behaviors of the people around him; there was his son’s friend, Willow Park, tearfully talking with her parents, a relieved smile on her face. There were the Blight Children, the two eldest tightly squeezing themselves around their younger sister, a baffled look on her face. He saw the crowds of crying, pleading, nervous faces all around. As his son led him into a backroom of the small clinic that had been established, Perry came face to face with three figures; the Emperor’s Coven Head Lilith Clawthorne, Eda the Owl Lady, and a human girl, all seated around a central table, gesturing for him to sit. As his son quickly saw himself out of the room, Perry had the sinking suspicion he was in a bit over his head.

After they explained the situation, as much as they could at least, Perry took a deep breath, holding in a sigh. They wanted his help to spread this information, which he could see the basis behind it- a group that invested this much effort into an attack wasn’t going to just stop and people needed to know about them- but the sheer depth of this reveal would completely change the social landscape of Bonesburough. “Very well, I agree to help with this. Do you have a plan for how we go about this?” He asked Lilith, who seemed to be trying a bit too hard to hold authority over this meeting, despite the lack of resistance from the other two.

Lilith nodded. “We have two real options at this point.” She said, holding up two fingers for emphasis. “We can either do multiple takes and present them later, or we can have this meeting broadcast live as breaking news.” She ticked off the options on her fingers, a grave look of contemplation upon her face. Lilith pursed her lips. “Personally, I favor the second option.”

That caught the group by surprise. “Huh, I honestly thought you’d prefer to get this all perfect and have it presented later.” Eda commented, arching a brow.

Lilith snorted. “Please, sister, give me some credit. The longer we go without addressing this, the more severe public unrest and hysteria will become. While the release of this information will certainly have its own consequences, those are still preferable to the people being left in the dark, and drawing more unsavory conclusions.” Lilith calmly stated, gaining impressed looks from the others.

Perry calmly assembled the equipment he would need, adding in his own take on the situation. “While an official report would normally be prepared by the Emperor’s Coven,” He carefully ignored Eda’s derisive snort, “that would be contingent on them possessing factual information to present. Without it, anything they provided would be woefully inadequate for informing the people. While a Live Report of this interview will most certainly cause a stir, it will ultimately be a mere fraction of what would result if the Emperor’s Coven issued a report that ultimately proved to be false in some capacity.” The group blinked, but, after mulling it over, agreed with what he said; it made sense, if people placed trust in an organization and it failed them, whether as a result of malice or otherwise, there would be backlash.

Perry clapped his hands. “So! Let’s begin, shall we?” They all shared a look, and nodded.

As they gathered around the table, Lilith leaned forward. “Now then, human, it’s time for you to answer my questions. The People of the Isles are dying to hear what you have to say.”

Luz gave a challenging grin. “Ask away. I’m all ears.”

Taking that as his cue, Perry started up the broadcast. Turning the camera to himself, he began, voice grave. “To all the citizens of the Boiling Isles, this is Breaking News, Live from the Covention. I am Perry Porter, reporting on behalf of Emperor’s Coven Head Lilith Clawthorne.” He paused, allowing the prepared footage to play across the crystal balls of all watching; the broken walls and shattered stands, the caged prisoners held under guard, and the bodies of all those who’d died, some gathered together for examination, others… not so much. He continued. “Today, tragedy has struck. For the first time since Emperor Belos’ ascendancy, an organized attack on our people has been committed. Of the over 2000 attendees, approximately half have been slain, and a third of the remainder have sustained moderate to severe injuries. Many of them were children. Of the 300 Coven Guards assigned to the Covention, over half of them have died, with all but a quarter sporting severe injuries.”

“What is most shocking, however, is that those claiming responsibility, a group known as the Black Dog Squadron, working on behalf of a group or individual known as Oroboros, are humans. That’s right, humans!!” Perry exclaimed, milking the drama a bit more than he liked, but needing to keep the audience invested; tragedy could only captivate for so long. “During the attack, all displayed some form of magic, but none, bar a handful who commanded Plant Magic, utilized any of the Nine Magics. How is this possible? Why did this happen? What will we, as a society, do next? To help answer these questions, Lilith Clawthorne has initiated an interview with a human who fought on behalf of our people, one Luz Noceda.” He knew that the girl’s image was now emblazoned across every crystal ball on the Isles at this very moment, leading further weight to his broadcast, in theory at least. “I am here with Coven Head Lilith herself,” He indicated the prominent Witch, who raised her hand to the audience. “To broadcast the interview to you all. Please be advised, some of what may be discussed may be shocking to some viewers.” With his part finished for the moment, Perry fell silent, allowing the broadcast to focus on the interview, more of an interrogation really, going on in the room.

“To ensure that what you say is true,” Lilith began, cutting right to the chase. “I must insist that you swear an Unbreakable Vow to that effect. This way, none can claim you are attempting to deceive us. Is that acceptable?” She asked, holding her hand out to begin forming the spell.

Luz raised an eyebrow, but saw no problem with the spell. She shrugged. “Sounds fine to me.” She said bluntly, prompting a nod from Lilith as she formed the spell. When the circle was completed, the two shook hands through it, sealing the oath. Luz was blissfully unaware of the shock rippling through the Isles, as now none would be able to refute or deny her words without looking insane or foolish. She had effectively solidified her legitimacy irrefutably in a single instant.

“Excellent.” Lilith replied, a grim smile playing across her face. She began. “First of all, I must ask, for how long have humans been capable of magic?”

Luz gave a shrug. “I can’t give you an exact figure, but at least 700 years, most likely more.” She said, unaware and uncaring of the shock that erupted at her statement. Even Lilith wasn’t totally immune, managing to school her features, expertly concealing the bewildered shock at the girl’s reply.

Lilith cleared her throat, forcing her instinctive urge to dive into the historical implications of that statement. As calmly as she could, she continued. “I see. How is magic utilized in Human Society?”

Luz tilted her head a bit. “You’re gonna have to be a bit more specific than that. There are a lot of Human Societies, all of whom have magic capable individuals, and all have their own ways of doing things. A benefit of being the dominant species in our world, is that we can afford to divide ourselves into a LOT of individual cultures and communities.”

Lilith paled at that, unable to stop the question that bubbled up in response. “Just… how many humans are in existence, exactly?”

Luz pondered that for a moment before replying. “I can’t give you an exact number, but I’d say there’s about several hundred million of us. Our world is big, and there are very few places we can’t survive on it.”

Internally shaking her head, and forcing herself not to focus on all the implications that came to mind, Lilith continued with her questions. “What is this Oroboros that the attackers claimed to be working for?”

Luz’s eyes sharpened, a burning hate filling her eyes, enough that even those watching at home suddenly felt very unsafe at the moment. “Oroboros is a criminal organization; specifically, they are the single largest Dark Guild active in the world right now. Oroboros prides itself on its ability to seize control and orchestrate things to its own benefit, without any regard for the harm and chaos that erupts in their wake. Cruelty and brutality are prized and cultivated among their members, almost as much as magical power is. No crime is too heinous, no line too sacred for them to cross.” She hissed out, the pure malicious hate coloring her tone forcing Lilith to gulp in nervousness.

“I see.” And Lilith did see. She had personally borne witness to the aftermath of that cruelty and indifference; however, Luz’s response brought another question to mind, one she felt she needed an answer to. She narrowed her eyes. “Edalyn told me you would be an excellent source of information for this. So far, you have proven to be so, even if my questions have not been exacting enough to gain satisfactory answers as of yet. But that response of yours has me thinking. How do you know about Oroboros, Miss Noceda?” Lilith inquired, eyes focused.

Luz raised an eyebrow, stood up, and turned around. After ensuring her back was presented to the broadcast, she reached back, and pulled down at the back of her outfit. Seared into her flesh lay a symbol, a serpent arranged into a Sideways eight, biting its own tail. “I used to be a member.” Luz said, voice dead and hollow. She turned a heartbreakingly sad smile towards Lilith. “Specifically, I was a member under protest.”

“Elaborate.” Lilith ordered, voice hard and unrelenting. She could feel the urge to bring out her staff and blast this child into oblivion, but tamped it down. She didn’t have all the information yet.

Luz gave a chuckle, bitter and full of the kind of spite that made people glad for what they had. “Oroboros has no limits to what they are willing to do, and that extends to what lengths they are willing to go to for recruits. Whenever someone with a useful skill or magic appears in their information network, they send out recruiters. For those with a few too many morals, such as myself, they like to employ a more… decisive argument.” She turned an empty smile upwards, oblivious to the daggers Lilith was glaring her way. “Oroboros kidnapped my sister, and used her as a hostage to keep me in line.” Lilith froze, unblinking.

Luz continued, oblivious. “Whenever I talked back, Vee was beaten. Whenever I failed an assignment, she had a bone broken. Whenever I completed a job, she got a good meal, after having been starved and deprived of water to just short of death that is.” She smirked, an angry, tired thing. “I hated myself. I wanted to die. I only kept living for her. And then she died; one of her guards decided they wanted to have a little fun with her, and the next anyone knew, the guard was dead, and my sister had a knife in her liver. I was free in the worst way possible.”

Stunned silence rang throughout the Isles, such that even Lilith herself was rendered speechless. Forcing herself to speak, Lilith asked the next question on her mind, one she felt the Isles would wish to know. “Should we consider this an act of War from the Human Realm?”

Luz blinked. Then, she laughed; a deep, cackling laugh filled with so much loathing and misery it was genuinely astonishing a living being could make such a sound. “No. Or at least, not the way you’re thinking. Oroboros is in no way affiliated with any form of Government or Ruling power. It’s a criminal organization that supports itself alone.” She gave a poisonous smile. “While I have no way of knowing if any Human Governments know about the Isles, I can assure you that none of them were involved in this.”

“Well, that’s something good at least.” Lilith said dryly. “What can you tell us about Oroboros in regards to how it is structured?”

Luz leaned back, gathering her memories on the subject. “Oroboros originally began as a Dark Guild that took jobs that other Dark Guilds shied away from, stuff that was extremely messed up and depraved in what was involved to go about them. When the big three Dark Guilds were dismantled, Oroboros clawed its way to the top of the heap after all the infighting died down. After that, they started breaking down and assimilating other Dark Guilds that they thought might be useful. You actually met one of them out there.” Luz offhandedly mentioned.

“Truly?” Lilith broached.

“Yup.” Luz nodded. “Before they became the Black Dog Squadron, the Squad was originally a guild in its own right, Barghast. Barghast was a mercenary guild at first, selling the services of its members as soldiers and fighters to the highest bidder, with an emphasis on fighting in wars. But when the local groups started fighting less, Barghast decided it would be better to start the wars they fought, and sell their services to both sides to keep the conflict going longer.” Luz smiled at that. It was not a nice smile. “When their little scheme came to light, they were branded a Dark Guild and went on the run, before being absorbed into Oroboros.”

Luz leaned forward. “Oroboros likes to present itself as one big unit, and while it can act like one in the field, Oroboros is full of splintered factions and units. The Black Dog Squadron is one of the neutral factions, actually; they don’t care which faction is using them, just as long as they can cause as much suffering and bloodshed as possible. I was an unaligned member, mostly because none of the Squadrons trusted a conscript like me not to stab them in the back, so I didn’t really work with any of the Factions or Squads outside of being paired with them for missions. My jobs were assassinations, thefts, and… less savory things.” Luz admitted, eyes downcast. Tears pooled in her eyes, dripping onto the table.

Lilith pursed her lips, feeling unwilling to judge the girl for compromising herself in the name of her loved ones; if anything, she was impressed the girl had the sense of self not to justify the atrocities she had done as anything other than what they were, a means of sparing the life of her loved one at the expense of others, and felt remorse over having done so. Still, she had two pressing questions to ask. “I must ask, you keep referencing Oroboros as a Dark Guild. Just what is a Guild?”

Luz slumped, feeling spent from the roller-coaster of loathing that always came when she thought about… all she had done. “Guilds are the Human Version of your Coven System, if far less restrictive. I won’t go too far into it, that would take way too much time, but Dark Guilds are essentially guilds that flout the laws that govern what Guilds can and cannot do, and actively have their members engage in crimes. If I had to give a close equivalent, Dark Guilds are basically for us what an Assassin Coven or Thief Coven would be for you. An organized effort to commit crime with little to no regard for who would be hurt as a result.”

Lilith felt a chill run up her spine at the thought. The idea of the Coven System being twisted like that, perverted into a warped, criminal mirror of itself, made her shudder; the implications of what such a thing could do, producing criminals whose magic was specialized to enabling criminal acts… it was a horrifying thought. Lilith swallowed, before jumping into her last question. “I thank you for agreeing to this; some of what you’ve revealed could not have been easy for you. But… I must ask you this; can we count on you to aid us against Oroboros?” She peered forth, unknowingly mimicking the apprehension of many of the citizens watching.

Luz gave her a smoldering glare. “You don’t have anything to worry about. I’ve already seen enough misery because of Oroboros. I won’t let them do as they please anymore, not while I can do something about it.” Luz paused, a thought coming to mind. “Huh, this reminds me of something my teacher said while I was training.”

Lilith raised any eyebrow. “Oh?”

Luz gave Lilith a soft, tired smile. “Yeah.” She reached up, rolling back her sleeve; Lilith recoiled at the sight. From her elbow to her shoulder, Luz’s arm was a maze of scar tissue, deep gouges and rents woven through the veil of poorly healed flesh; the fact she could use her arm without issue was awe-inspiring, when one considered the pain she must feel every day from such an injury. “I got this when I first tried using my Magic in a combat situation. I was fighting a monster that was bothering some of the fields near the village I was staying at during my training. I had barely been training for a week, having only just barely made a proper spell for the first time less than a day ago. The monster dashed me against a cliff, driving my arm so deep against the stone that it started scraping bone. If my teacher hadn’t intervened, it would’ve eaten me.” She turned to Lilith, sober eyes burning with shame. “I was an idiot. My teacher made sure I remembered that. What they said to me that day, I’ll never forget.” Luz leaned back, before reciting something with the air of quotation. “‘Magic is an unreasonable force. It is wondrous and horrific. It cares nothing for good or evil, or the intentions of those who use it. If you wish to put your skills to such a task as fighting for truth and justice, grow strong. Otherwise, you’ll never be anything more than prey for those with less moral compunctions than you.’” Luz gazed fondly at the ceiling, tears pooling at the memory. “Ever since that day, I swore I would never let myself be too weak to stand up for myself, or what I believe in. I would be strong enough that I could protect others, but also to protect myself.” She gave a chuckle. “Things didn’t work out too well for that promise.”

Lilith just looked on with pity, before turning to Perry. “I think that would be a good point to end the interview. At least for today.”

“Indeed.” Perry nodded. “Well then, you heard it here first, Citizens.-”

“What are you doing?” Lilith queried.

Perry blinked. “I’m… ending the broadcast.”

Lilith shook her head. “Not yet. I still have one thing left to do.” She beckoned her sister forth, who had been silently looking on as the interview went on. Eda’s mind was brimming with questions for Luz, but she was willing to put it aside for when they got back home. For now, she had her sister to deal with. Lilith gazed upon her sister, an unreadable look in her eye. “Earlier, when you defeated me in a Witch’s Duel, your request for your win was that I would tell the truth about your curse to the public, dispelling the official story. We even swore an unbreakable vow over it.” She held up her arm for emphasis, her arm flashing with a white ring. An ominous smile graced her features. “Well, I do believe a live broadcast all across the Isles is certainly public, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Yeah, it is. And I’m glad you’re not putting it off, I am! But… are you feeling okay sis? You seem a little out of it.” Eda asked, genuine concern coloring her voice. The hysterical laugh Lilith gave just added to that concern.

“Oh Edalyn, if you only knew.” She said, wiping away a tear from her outburst, before sobering. “But then, I suppose you will in a moment.” Turning to the broadcast, Lilith braced herself, fully willing to bear the backlash her actions would cause against herself and the Coven from this. “Citizens of the Isles, I, Coven Head Lilith Clawthorne, stand before you to reveal a bitter truth. For years, the story of the Owl Lady has been told, how her defiance and dismissal of the Coven System was punished by the Titan. That story… it is a lie.” She bluntly stated, almost feeling the gasps rippling through the Isles. “The Emperor’s Coven itself has no knowledge of how Edalyn was cursed, but it was most certainly no work of the Titan, or its will.” A mysterious smile, almost beatific were it not so filled with pain, crossed her features. “The one responsible for Eda Clawthorne’s curse was a witch. Specifically… the one responsible was myself.” Lilith felt more than saw Eda freeze up beside her. She could see it now on Perry’s own face, the look of horror, accusation, dumbfounded shock. 

Lilith turned to Eda, feeling an almost spiteful glee at the look of horror, denial, and hurt that crossed her features. “Y-your lying, Lily. You-” Eda stuttered (Edalyn stuttered!), denial and shock filling her voice. Lilith slowly stroked Eda’s cheek, an almost tender gesture.

“Edalyn, we both know that, for all your hatred of the rules and authority, you are far smarter than this. You know I can’t be lying.” Lilith said, just barely loud enough for the broadcast to pick up. “Think about it, you’ve surely pieced it together after all this time. Who else could’ve gotten into your room to curse you? Who else would’ve had reason to curse you?” Eda shook her head, denial still burned across her features, backing away from Lilith.

“Why?” Eda hissed out, forcing it through the denial. “Why would you do this!? To me!? TO YOUR FAMILY!?!?” She screamed, hurt and rage finally making themselves known in full.

Lilith chuckled, the same bitter, empty laugh Luz herself had used previously when discussing her failings. “Because you were going to win, dear sister!” Lilith cried, almost relishing the horror on Eda’s face, were it not for how sick she felt at it all. “We were set to fight for a place in the Emperor’s Coven, and you would win!! I knew you would!! You were the prodigy, the gifted genius that everything came so easily to when you bothered to try, the powerhouse who could already level buildings at the age of TWELVE!!!” Lilith felt the tears coming, the bitter, hot tears of her own weakness surging forth. “I was the one who wanted to serve the Isles, I was the one who wanted to help people!!!! You only cared about joining the Coven so you wouldn’t have to give up any magic! So why should I have given up my dream, my future, for you!?”

“I ONLY WANTED TO BE PART OF THE COVEN TO SUPPORT YOU!!!” Eda cried, her own angry, hurt-filled tears flowing. “All I wanted was to support you, to give you the future you deserved!!” She shook her head, anger and shame filling her heart.

“I KNOW!!” Lilith shrieked. “I Knew it then, and I know it now!!” The tears were like waterfalls now, bitter pain coating her every word. “But I couldn’t accept it, the idea that you, someone who so effortlessly and deliberately flouted the rules, would have what I wanted, what I dreamed of! How could I have known that you would forfeit, how could anyone!? A position in the most prestigious and influential of covens, and you throwing it away for me!?” She shook her head. “No. I didn’t believe you could be that selfless.”

Eda gave a bitter snort. “And I didn’t believe you could be that selfish. I guess we were both surprised.” Not staying to hear another word, Eda grabbed Luz, who wordlessly followed her, and stormed off. Luz shot Lilith a look of empty disappointment. It was exactly what Lilith deserved.

Lilith turned to the still running broadcast, a blank smile on her face. “And you’ve heard it here first, folks.” Lilith mockingly imitated the standard reporter line. “The Enforcer of the Emperor’s Will is a cheat, scum who would betray her own family, and a fraud. What a shocking revelation, is it not?” She wandered off, tears still streaming. Perry wordlessly cut the broadcast. He suddenly felt the need to give his son the biggest hug of all time.

All across the Isles, people were reacting to the horrifying news. Some focusing on some parts over others, of course, but none could deny that the Special Report was on everyone’s minds.

“This is unacceptable!!” Kikimora cried, frantically pacing in front of the Emperor’s Throne, heedless of her standard deference. “How could Coven Head Clawthorne reveal such sensitive information through a broadcast of all things!? Your Highness, this mutiny cannot stand!!” Normally, Kikimora would never be so blatant and emotional in front of her lord, but she felt now, of all times, was the best moment to voice her worries.

“Hmm… it seems I must adjust some of my plans.” Belos murmured. While Lilith publicly revealing the secret she so fervently guarded was certainly a surprise, if anything the revelation of her obsession should make her even more fervent in her future attempts to apprehend her sister. The revelations of Human Realm Magic now infesting his realm… oh he would definitely need to broach this carefully, but his ultimate goal remained unchanged. Wild Magic would be PURGED from the Titan, that was non-negotiable. But the revelation of Human Magic would certainly prove a useful tool for later…

“My lord!?” Kikimora frantically pleaded.

Hunter contemplated the revelations he had just witnessed. Humans were capable of magic, something deemed impossible. If it was possible for them… could it prove possible for himself? Something to think about for later. Right now, he had to attend to his Emperor. He owed the man everything, and this did not change that fact. He would probably have to keep a closer eye on Lilith though,

Alador calmly adjusted the latest adaptation to the Abomiton project, carefully tuning out his wife’s frantic screams and rage. She would burn herself down, if not out, in a little while, and then he would intercede. For the moment, he needed to properly calibrate the Coiled Composition System, truly a marvel really; if it worked properly, even the lowest quality of Abomitons would be a force to be reckoned with.

Odalia slammed herself down across from Alador with a huff, blistering rage burning in her eyes. “Well, at least now we know who our mysterious clients are.” She bit out, forcing herself to calm down with a cup of tea. Alador merely raised an eyebrow. He would see what she said in full, before replying. Odalia chuckled, a nasty, angry sounding thing. “It truly makes sense, you know. Such mysterious customers, wanting such a variety of goods and supplies! And they turned out to be murderous criminals. Fitting.”

“Will we stop supplying them, then?” Alador faux-absentmindedly asked. He had a feeling as to what she would say, but it was still imperative he hear it in truth first.

Odalia snorted. “No. We’ll keep selling to them. We’ll just covertly sabotage the goods we grant them, and use our dealings to pump them for information. Once we’ve gained everything we can, we use the resources we’ve acquired in our dealings to crush them.” Her eyes sharpened. “They endangered our children. Our FAMILY. They will not be allowed to survive for this offense.” Alador gravely nodded. Oroboros had made a crucial mistake already. They’d tried to challenge the Blight family, and harm their children. There would be a reckoning for this sin, of that neither Blight had any doubts.

Raine Whispers was conflicted. On the one hand, they now knew who had cursed Eda, and their heart went out to their old flame about what she must be going through. On the other, more clinically minded hand, the revelation that Humans could wield magic was in itself a massive blow to Belos’ authority, particularly in regards to his edicts on magic and the Titan. It was certainly something to explore for the future. For the moment, they had to get to their meeting. If all went well, they would finally, finally have prospective members willing to step out of the shadows with them. To be honest, that Katya girl had seemed almost too eager to join up, but they would at least give her a chance to step back and explain before making… hasty judgments.

Eda slammed the bottle of Appleblood back, her tears pouring down as fast as the heavy beverage went down her throat. It still hurt. Luz cuddled up to her, lending a comforting presence, King sitting on her lap. Words could wait. The three of them had enough pain to work through. Eda allowed a small smile to cross her features. At least they had each other to share the burden.

[insomnihan]

han’s Entire Thoughts and Feelings on Dreamcatcher’s “Breaking Out”

MY TIME HAS FINALLY COME

ITS TIME FOR ME TO GO CRAZY AAAAAAAAAAA GO STUPID AAAAAAAAAAA ON TEXT POST THE TIME IS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FULL SOMNIE MODE ACTIVATED DONT LOOK AT ME (added mv instead so bc there are already TOO MANY pictures)

there are no read mores here so im sorry (im actually gonna apologize this time this is long™) IM GONNA BE VERY SPECIFIC

hella pictures, links, and words youve been warned™

ALRIGHT SO-

THE SONG i think a lot of us would agree that the introduction threw us off (i was also one of those people) but to be honest i dont mind it AT ALL?????? that kinda harmonizing sound during here and here i dunno what that is but i was vibing hard with it i really liked it and yeah it is different from their usual style but once i heaRD THAT GUITAR IT WAS OVER FOR ME I COULDNT- like i wanna bounce but i also wanna headbang at the same time

i mentioned this to gwen @wickymicky tho one thing i would say is i just WISH this song went harder??? i dunno how to describe it exactly but something heavier??? i wish i knew how to elaborate on what that means im sorry but i just know thats what i feel but other than that im very satisfied with this song!!!!!!

yoohyeon starts the song as if i wasnt vibrating with excitement already like her singing voice is just sounds so pleasant???? HIT ME WITH THAT SILENT NIGHT SILENT NIGHT i personally liked this part in the middle and how it built up into the chorus i FELT THAT IN MY BONES

MISS JIU YOUR VOICE its so soft yet powerful just like you GENERALLY LIKE HOW!!!!!!!!! youre literally the second person to sing and you got two things from me: 1. F UCKED UP and 2. my heart........................... like her bridge part just SO PERFECT LIKE YOU DONT UNDERSTAND-

S U A YOU CANT BE KILLING ME WITH NO WAY NO WAY LIKE WERE STILL IN AND THERE WAS NO ONE LEFT just something about her tone.................. im- pairing her with jiu for THIS my heart and my ears, yknow what ALL OF ME is just so happy and ‘you cant stop my heart’ well you sure stopped mine with your voice-

there is SO MUCH DAMI??????? THERE ARE TEARS???? IN MY EYES???? i was shocked to hear her so early on in the song but i welcomed it with open arms i love her deep voice so much her parts were nice (tho a little off as in not very ‘dami-like’ if you will not usual to her parts in their other songs) BUT when she was saying that part with love, lost, and hide it and her part at 2:31.......................... pls.....

HANDONG P L E A S E her parts at 0:40 and 1:39 were small but they sounded SO pleasant im cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a moot of mine mentioned in her tags somewhere about how handong’s voice sounds silky and like...................... thanks for saying it bc youre sO RIGHT like i cant even describe it in depth to yall bc it just makes me feeL GOOD hearing it!!!!!!!!

miss lee gahyeon hitting me with something gentle at 0:44 but then hitting me with this at 1:31 like with handong her parts are small but still impactful!!!! her voice is so nice to listen to like it sounds smooth??? i cant Words™ but yknow what im saying right-

SIYEON I COULD LITERALLY LISTEN TO YOUR VOICE FOREVER her voice for the chorus................ IM CRYING ITS SO CATCHY!!!!!!!!! SO BREAKING OUT OF THE DARK NIGHT is literally stuck in my head i cant- her voice is just SO unique right??? like its so powerful and it jUST H I T S YOU FULL FORCE side note: i found myself waving my hand with her when she sings bye bye thats so dorky of me leave me alone

THE DANCE L I S T E N i was PLANNING on trying my hand at gifs but i was impatient and we all know that pictures WILL NOT do this choreography justice but AS ALWAYS THEY COME THROUGH WITH SOME GOOD ASS CHOREO it doesnt hit as hard as their other dances but that doesnt bother me- there was a lot of Hands™ like a lot of emphasis on the hands and gestures (will mention more later) UUUUUM the dancing during the chorus with so much arm swinging and they all hit the air so hard with their elbows and fists i could really just feel that energy?? like all the effort and power they put into their dancing and to give it their all???? aka i feel tired just watching them dance

two parts i REALLY wanted to gif: 1. when yoohyeon does this with her hands up to 1:30................................... thanks and 2. this part with jiu and sua together................................... thanks x2

BONUS PICTURES:

so this pose is like their thing now right?????? this is from what???? i dunno what this means here but like im glad they have a cool pose that represents them

OKAY TWO THINGS: this was all i could focus on when i watched the teaser like siyeons face as if shes super into this (or was singing i dunno) and then jius face like is it THAT serious-

THE VISUALS ON TOP OF BOMB CHOREO THEY ALSO HAVE BOMB AESTHETICS FOR THEIR VIDEOS!!!!!!!! i would explain EVERY scene but i thought why not show the ones i really liked and put some thoughts under, some are more specifically about how i left looking at them (this is long enough already):

(i must mention beforehand that i loved the part with suas swing and jius rope too but i liked looking at these ones much more)

I KNEW THE MOMENT I SAW ALL THAT RED THREAD IT HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH FATE like i think actually believe in fate and stuff like that now bc LOOK at them their threads of fate all tangled together and s hit but also i just REALLY wanna see how they pass through the strings lmao

this part was haunting to me??? like i felt suffocated just looking at this??? i dont think thats how i was supposed to feel but this hit

do you see how disorienting???? do you feel that way too???? bc I SURE DID plus i dunno these colors, overlaying her looking in different directions and then at the end when they connect again in the middle my god yes-

okay i said i was going to mention hands and that theyre basically the most important thing in this entire video there are so many scenes of them reaching towards each other, wiggling their fingers and shaking their hands, but unable to even TOUCH you could really F E E L how DESPERATE.......... the WANT and the NEED to just connect together and bicth im gonna cry but its BEAUTIFUL™ (i was gonna add every shot that showed them reaching to each other but this is long enough already)

THIS JUST HITS HARD TO ME

ITS SUPER SYMBOLIC BUT IM TOO BIG STUPID™ TO PUT IT INTO WORDS JUST LOOK. AT. IT.

this is like gahyeons scene but it didnt hurt as much i love the color green but for this scene seeing that wall nearly crushing her and this color together i ACTUALLY felt scared and nauseous and again i dont think thats what im supposed to feel but i did and it also hit she is certainly........................... breaking out sorry

P L E A S E this is the ending and theyre all finally together and i think them standing in a circle and holding hands like is also their thing but do you see?????? yoohyeons smile?????? (im sure theyre all smiling at least i hope so)

T H E M

to the shock of LITERALLY NO ONE they are the seven (7) most beautiful women to walk this earth, so of course i was shaking continuously and my neck was getting broken every second i have nothing to complain about or even REMOTELY MENTION to change anything about them except i want damis shorter length back

plus their outfits and makeup looks are simple and nothing over the top and i think theyre wearing their teaser image outfits in the more colorful scenes but no complaints there like the white outfits when theyre surrounded by the red thread like they look great!!!!!!!!!! just nothing to specify (also their really cool looking earrings they just always have)

(also pls appreciate these screenshots they all come from a split second within their individual shots instead of the shots from the beginning bc i love making my job harder for no reason looking good as hell it took forever to get them okay moving on-)

JIU

someone pls tell me how she could make her face so intense...................... pls i thought i was gonna get turned into stone any second with how threatened i felt seeing her i just about died with all those damn close ups she got im TOO TIRED miss kim minji if looks could kill............................ her white dress was longer on one side so its lowkey just one leg and her shoulders out pls- that scene with the purple background and the rope and her eyes are purple too and just FULL of threatening energy....................................... dont hurt me

SUA

COME👏THE👏F UCK👏ON👏

ALL INSOMNIAS AGREE SHES A WHOLE MEAL™ this hairstyle and color on her specifically like this picture and its wavy i wish she could just keep that forever but yknow and that white dress shes wearing in this picture too with the sleeves pls you BEAUTIFUL BIH- her hair has a smaller pony tail in the red dance scenes and a whole pony tail for the swing i just wish i could see those styles better and I KNOW its a swing and the shot has to be far away but thanks for her side profile there im just saying-

SIYEON

THIS WOMAN™ this exact look with her hair straight and the one black glove and the one long sleeve that s hit hurted me and when they were dancing in the kinda red (i think its red) scenes shes wearing pants so good for her to stay on her brand plus i mentioned the green scenes earlier and she is THE Actress™ shes literally so stunning i had a hard time getting this screenshot bc i just kept looking and NOT doing this, her Power™ truly i finish with mentioning the eyebrow thing at the same part as bye bye................................. thank you

HANDONG

YALL ALREADY KNOW HOW IT BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS WOMAN IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IVE EVER LAID MY EYES ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the first couple of close up shots she got I DIED AT THOSE TIMES SHES SO ETHEREAL i will NEVER get over this hairstyle on her EVER and her hairstyle for that one dance outfit here like CAN WE JUST ALL AGREE that she just almost always looks Expensive™ and Princess™ like whenever we see her bc i cant deal!!!!!!!!! and i DID see her wearing that lavender outfit from her teaser image when that dropped during these scenes like i understand its supposed to be far away to express distance between others and how gloomy it is like that but i wanna see- ANYWAY I LOVE HER

YOOHYEON

let me just start out with how HAPPY AND THRILLED I AM that she has grey hair again like THATS HER LOOK™ shes also very good at being intense and powerful and that breaks every bone in my body but i had accepted it i wanna specify her little snarl hit me harder than it shouldve it lasted for literally a second she had the wavy hair too during those green yellow (???) and red scenes which i have to say AGAIN i wanna see it better but i understand why i finish this with her smile at the end i must mention it again pls my uwus-

DAMI

im sorry i need to start with full on wishing her hair was still that shorter length i miss that so much- ANYWAY this color on her F A N T A S T I C™ like this look with the black around her shoulders and she has a shorter dress instead of the long on one side like siyeon she was also wearing pants during those red dance scenes and honestly thanks im not even going to mention her scenes with handong again yall already know i wanna see it better

GAHYEON

LOOK AT HER she didnt have a lot of screentime like this picture comes from her first singing part and it was blurry but yknow that was aesthetic bc it focused eventually so ill let it slide literally she just has long black hair but she looks absolutely GORGEOUS in this mv!!!!!!!! i just wanted to see her more at all!!!!!!!! shes just so pretty and she got to have that cool scene with the plastic but like GIVE👏ME👏MORE👏GAHYEON👏NEXT👏TIME👏

LIKE i keep reminding myself that this IS a japanese song and i expected the style to be different so i guess thats why im not TOO critical about it i can totally hear how someone could be not so into it like that beginning part which doesnt sound like a dreamcatcher song if you didnt it was them yknow what i mean??? at least thats how i see it BUT PERSONALLY this is a pretty solid song!!!!!! ive been listening to it for two days straight and im feeling G R E A T!!!!!!!!!

IN CONCLUSION: GUESS WHOS GOING TO LISTEN TO THIS (AND THE WHOLE ALBUM) ON LOOP FOR WEEKS ON END YUP THATS ME

bonus bc i had to make this:

[thattimdrakeguy]

One of the reasons why I don't like favoritism in official comics is because it distorts characters to put a specific one on a pedestal.

Like how Tynion tried to make Tim so cool that he ended up writing what felt like a total different character. Making him a show-off with a hot blonde girl friend that always praised him, was good at about everything and wanted to make Gotham a Utopia.

Just a bunch of stuff that wasn't exactly Tim's style. Who was usually the underdog for one reason or another and never really cared for being in-charge of everything like in his Utopia plan. And was not really Batman's lieutenant like he was shown in Tec.

It created such frustration in me because I didn't care if Tim was cool. His charm was being a relatable, underdog, dork.

Then on the otherside there was Tomasi style of favoritism. Where he shows it in a more complicated fashion. He'd try to make the unlikable one in a situation likable by giving them a sympathetic moment.

Like he had a story where he throws Tim and Jason under the bus to make Damian look tough (therefore cool to younger boys), and then gave Damian a "it's not fair moment" for sympathy to attract more emotional types.

He had Tim be a total brat to Damian (something he doesn't do, he usually kept his thoughts internalized till one of their fights broke out, or in one instant when he thought Damian was hurting Alfred. So he wrote him OOC to make Damian be one it seem we should root for in some fashion).

So then Damian goes off to beat up Tim and Jason to prove something, even though Jason didn't even do anything. Comparing Tim being angry someone got killed to when Damian himself used to kill. Which makes no sense.

So instead of opening up the characters ina logical way that could further their relationship. It's like the characters are ignoring the obvious because Tomasi is desperate for people to like Damian so he adds "it's not fair" moments to the story instead to further the idea he wants Damian to be the likable one.

Later on Tomasi writes a story after Damian is dead and Bruce tries to trigger Jason's PTSD so he could bring Damian back (which is the kind of goofy that’s confusing and out of place, and not the kind of goofy that’s fun and adds to the experience).

And, this would ... sort of be okay, if Jason didn't already die (which was his PTSD), Bruce can be emotionally constipated and he can be a jerk because of that.

But because Bruce didn't go through this with Jason. It implies Damian's on a pedestal.

And later on it creates this odd tone, because logically Bruce is the bad guy. He's traumatizing his son on purpose for his own wants while crying stuff that's basically saying "WHY DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT ME" being emotionally abusive.

But then later on Jason agrees to help bring Damian back like we should've been on Bruce's side. A lot like the story with Damian against Tim but even more confusing because Tomasi didn't initially break Jason's character to make who's good or bad more obvious or at least implied.

(And on a side note Babs says "there's only one Robin. In that same story as Jason and Tim are right there. Further implying Damian's on a pedestal.)

It creates odd, confusing and conflicting vibes and feelings because Tomasi doesn't spend enough time to properly delve into things. You can yell character development, but it doesn't feel earned or even accurate. It feels confusing, and I feel its because Tomasi's afraid of making his favs look too bad.

Tynion seemed almost afraid of showing how Tim actually is because he wants him to be cool. But on his tumblr post he showed awareness that Tim is awkward and earnest. And I can only think of one singular time Tim was awkward, and that was to make TimSteph look cute. Earnest seems to be something he tries to put as a veil over his Utopia plan. But it doesn't add up to how it was portrayed before, as a serious plan that Tim wanted to do for the betterment of man-kind because gosh isn't he great and selfless.

It feels like excuses more than anything else.

Having favoritism just feels like it robs the stories of depth that's more than superficial. And sometimes they try to put what it should be over what they actually did write as if to say "SEE I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING" but it just seems so empty and a stretch.

One of the reasons why Bat-Family hasn't felt right in the comics is because it's portrayed so inconsistently. It's what a specific writer wants just in the moment rather then what it should be.

They don't wanna do what it should realistically be (what ever that even is), because then maybe their favs would look bad to them and they worry.

But the reason why I felt attached to Tim was because he made mistakes but he was so earnest and tried his best that you wanted to see him do better. They didn't spend issues about how great his try was and why he's such a great guy for it. They focused on how he beat himself up for it but got back up to try again because he was a good kid with a lot of heart that really was just trying his best..

What made Damian likable initially after just being that brat was that he actually learned, and how through Dick and Alfred's teachings he got better cuz he saw better. They made the point that he was the way he was because of other people, but they didn't draw to make him likable because of that. He grew to be likable because of how he grew as a person.

Something not taken as seriously later on. Instead of growing his morals they tried to make him cuter in ways that replace who he just was, and not who he was for better or worse, just how he went about things and interacted with people, to make him cuter and therefore easier to like, even if its not how he is. Another trick I think Tomasi used to make him likable. Because I feel like he was too afraid of him growing a certain way. Because to grow you have to admit you're wrong. Something Tomasi only touches sometimes. And hardly at all other times. Just a tinge of a touch to imply but not a bunch of needed focus to feel real. He might have his characters grow as long as it makes who ever look good. Where in other situations it might make them look bad compared to another.

Tynion put Tim's character on a stand-still, because he wanted to change him to appeal to an audience of some sort if not just his teenage self. The stories feel on a bubble of themselves because they don't feel connected with what happened before, or even after since YJ thankfully went back to how he was before.

Robbing the stories of feeling as big to the characters history as I'm sure the intention was.

Fan fiction writers can do as they please. They have responsibility to no one, but I feel official writers have more responsibility seeing how big these characters are, and the attachments people made to them.

So to throw some stuff away to make your fav likable just makes things feel selfish.

I don't feel like writers show responsibility or care when these things happen.

(And I wish Jason would stop being thrown under the bus to make what ever random person look better. Even tho the person trying to look better ends up looking like a jerk. AKA Tim and Dick in post-UTRH stories that just annoy me. Cuz why did Jason have to be treated like such crap.)

[evenstevensranked]

#5: Season 3, Episode 1 - “The Kiss”

Season 3 begins with a bang -- bringing us one of the best, most memorable episodes the show has ever produced! Louis and Tawny accidentally kiss at lunch and the two decide to start dating!!! AHHHH! Everything's great until Tawny has to kiss Zack Estrada (yes, the saga continues once again) in the school play. The subplot is all about Donnie, who feels like a broken human because he never cries.

This is it, guys. The Top 5. The home stretch. The crème de la crème. Let’s go. 

This episode was a really big moment in my childhood. I was going through some old VHS tapes I found not too long ago, and came across one with this episode on it! That’s how you know it was a major deal. The first minute or so was cut off on the recording, and this was before all of our TVs had in-depth guides at our fingertips -- so I had no idea what episode was going to be airing. All I knew was “Even Stevens is up next!” So as soon as I saw it was the kiss episode, I popped in that tape and recorded this thing ASAP. I was a tweenage hopeless romantic with a crush on Shia LaBeouf. Of course I had to record the episode where Louis gets a girlfriend. 

It opens with Louis and Tawny at lunch together being adorable, trading snacks and sides until each of their lunches are completely different from what they started with. When suddenly, Tawny ~gets something in her eye.~ The oldest cliché in the book! I love it. Louis gets reaaal close to Tawny and goes diggin’ for gold in her eye, eventually identifying the “thing” as a soy cookie crumb. That’s when some person bumps into Louis and thankfully Tawny’s lips are there to break his fall.

The two are in absolute stunned silence once they break apart. It was a magical moment, clearly, as you can see. Ren interrupts their mutual daze by walking over with Zack Estrada and Tom in tow, reminding Tawny that she has a fitting for the school play. This does a hard cut to Louis’ room after school that day. Twitty dramatically spits out his drink when he hears the news: “DUDE! THIS IS HUGE YOU KISSED TAWNY?!?!” 

I’ve mentioned before that Even Stevens comes across as more of a ~bro show~ in comparison to the majority of Disney Channel shows which typically follow a teen girl as the lead. This is why I love rare moments like this scene between Louis and Twitty. Two guy best friends freaking out about one of them kissing a girl for the first time. I feel like we never see this on Disney Channel anymore. It feels so real and genuine too, especially for these characters. Louis isn’t entirely sure if it counts as a kiss though, so Twitty demands to get the facts straight. (“Kissing is like basketball, either the ball went in the hoop or it didn’t!”) He asks Louis how long he kissed her for and Louis guesses it was a “one-Mississippi” length. Twitty rejoices. 

“SWISH, DUDE! You kissed her!”

Louis is elated. Both of them agree that Louis + Tawny = Beautiful. (Can’t argue there!) So much so, that Louis starts to skip around with happiness. One of my favorite parts of the whole episode is here, when Louis takes a moment to think about how Tawny might be feeling. He has a mental breakdown when he realizes “Wait, whoa. There she was... Eating her lunch... and I, like... JUMPED on her! For all I know, Tawny’s disgusted by me!” Louis Stevens is the kind of guy we all deserve. I know it’s such a small thing, but it’s something that has aged amazingly. This line stood out like a sore thumb to me given today’s political climate and the Me Too era. I’ve said a million times that this show has aged super gracefully because it really has. It’s not entirely perfect though. No show is without its blemishes. There are some things we haven’t made it to yet in the countdown that have definitely not aged very well, but we’ll get to that later. Let’s just say, this one little line shows that Louis has grown exponentially as not only a character, but a guy in general, and sets a good example. Twitty vows to go on a “fact-finding mission” for Louis to figure out how Tawny feels about the situation. 

Tawny is still back at school rehearsing for the play which was written by... you guessed it! REN STEVENS! This woman does everything. How does anyone else even have a job at LJH? Ren is in charge of everything ever. Ren’s brilliant and totally not boring play is about Abigail Adams, played by Tawny, and her relationship with John Adams, played by none other than Zack Estrada! Knowing these characters and their history, it’s clear that Zack is still into Tawny to some degree. Coach Tugnut is there because they apparently pay him $92 to be the theater advisor. I love how specific that amount is, lol. He has no problem telling Ren that her play is a pile of trash and needs to be spiced up if she wants to sell any tickets.

I love how Tom is playing the “lowly manservant.” He’s ridiculously dedicated to staying in character at all times throughout the episode. Tom’s the best. Tawny’s pattern mixing though. A plaid dress with red and black striped tights and Docs? She was so ~alternative.~ I love it. 

Zack is trying to ask Tawny out for a root beer when Twitty crashes the rehearsal and not so subtly tries to ask Tawny about the kiss, skirting around the issue by nervously asking stupid questions instead like “where are your parents from originally?” But of course, Tawny is freaking awesome and has no time for anyone's bs as usual. She literally says “I’m gonna stop you. Because eventually, you’re going to ask me about the kiss Louis gave me today at lunch. If he wants to talk to me about it, he can talk to me without your help. Tell him to meet me at his locker 10 minutes before first period,” YAAAASSSSSS! TAWNY IS NO NONSENSE AND ONE OF THE GREATEST FEMALE CHARACTERS ON DISNEY. Praise. 

The next morning Louis is waiting for Tawny at his locker and you’ve undoubtedly seen this screenshot of when he notices her walking his way: 

Smooth. For whatever reason this is one of the main images that comes up as a “Louis Stevens” search result, therefore nearly every single nostalgia article uses it. It’s kind of annoying. 

Louis and Tawny have a preciously awkward conversation, talking about how they both couldn’t sleep because they were up thinking about what happened. They’re also sort of skirting around the issue until Tawny puts her foot down once again: “Look, Louis, I like you. I always have. Since the first day I met you.” I am melting. Louis is so freaking happy and says “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?! WE COULD’A BEEN KISSIN’ UP A STORM!!!” Oh, wow. They immediately start dating and I’m a puddle of goo. Also, this happens. Which... yeah, lol. 95k notes. Wow. 

The first gif tho. Louis when Tawny was saying “I like you.” HOW GENUINE IS THAT FACE?! Shia won an Emmy for this so there is justice in the world. But yeah. They are so pure. :’)

This leads into a montage that spans possibly 3 days or so, showing us Louis and Tawny interacting as a couple. I hate that this is all we get. They should’ve stretched this montage into 3 episodes instead tbh. I live for this crap. 

“Hey, babe. Want some celery?” 

“Only 15 more hours ‘til I see you!” 

"Thanks for walking me to rehearsal.” “Oh, anything for my beautiful lady.” 

QUALITY CONTENT. Also, gotta love how polite Louis is being by wearing that hideous sweater Tawny knit for him. 

I love this episode because we get to see actual ~Boyfriend Louis~ for the first and pretty much only time, and man is it something. Once again this show nails the awkwardness of Junior High relationships. It’s so intense when you’re 14, right?! There’s no such thing as casually dating. You have to be all in, 24/7. It takes over your life because you’re not really equipped to mentally handle a serious relationship at 14. This is why I never get tired of watching TV teen relationships. They’re always endlessly entertaining to me. 

After watching a cheesy 1940s “Casablanca” knock-off romance movie with the fam, Ren realizes the “spice” her play needs is the passion of two people in love. She rewrites the play to make it more exciting and even adds in a passionate kiss between Abigail and John... a.k.a. Zack and Tawny... for the big finale. UH-OH! We’re introduced to Donnie’s little subplot there because Steve, Eileen, and even Beans -- bawled their eyes out at the movie but all Donnie could do was burp after stuffing his face through the whole thing. He starts to question “what’s wrong with me?!” because he felt no emotion whatsoever.  

Ren announces the script changes at the rehearsal Louis walked Tawny to a few screenshots above. Coach Tugnut observes Louis and Tawny’s obvious couple-y vibe and tells Louis “First girlfriend? Get ready for a lifetime of pain.” Oh, god. That’s the last thing you should tell Louis Stevens. He starts freaking out and it only gets worse when he hears Ren tell everyone about the addition of the big kiss and Zack cheers “YEEEEEAHHHH!!!!!! *transitions into a cough to cover his excitement*” Because as I mentioned, it’s clear that he’s still into Tawny. I feel like if it was anyone other than Zack, Louis might be okay with the kiss. There’s just something about this guy that he absolutely cannot deal with. We first saw Louis' jealousy over Zack and Tawny way back in Season 1 with "Easy Way" and then "Strictly Ballroom." We also see Louis become super jealous over Twitty's friendship with Zack towards the end of the series. Also... I swear, I did not plan for 3 out of 4 episodes in The Zack Estrada Saga to end up in the Top 10 and be counted down in serial order. Pretty cool that it worked out that way though, haha.

Louis feels that Ren’s rewrite is “too predictable” so he decides to write his own ending for the play and presents it to Ren at home that night. He envisions the story concluding with Abigail running to her husband and giving him a haircut. HAHAHA! Anything but a kiss! “I’ve never seen it before!” he says. Welp, he’s definitely right about his idea being unpredictable! lol. Imagine?! Of course, Ren can tell that Louis is actually just freaking out about Zack kissing Tawny and Louis is like “Are you trying to embarrass me in front of the whole school?!” -- But, would it really be that bad though? Would people taunt him like “lol ur girlfriend kissed another guy” or something? Because, like... It’s just a play. But then again, it is middle school. So. 

Louis is super down about the whole thing and Tawny finds him sulking on a bench the next day. She’s all “Hey, Cutie Pants! I’ve been looking all over for you!” -- ‘Cutie Pants’ is a little too far, lol. She brought Louis her “Tater Slabs,” which he declines. Side note: Are those supposed to be a form of Tater Tots? Because I feel like Disney Channel has a million different names for Tater Tots. They call them Tater Slabs here. These days, they’re calling them Baby Taters on Andi Mack. It’s just a constant reminder that “Tater Tots” is a registered trademark that Disney can’t say without coughing up the cash, lol.

Tawny asks Louis if something’s the matter and he’s like “I think you should quit the play” and pulls a bunch of bogus excuses out of his butt as for why. Tawny being Tawny cuts right to the chase: “Does this have anything to do with me kissing Zack?” I love this bit. She reassures him that all they’re doing is acting, it’s not real -- and there’s only one person she really wants to kiss. She asks Louis to promise he’ll be okay with it and Louis’ response of “Alright. I promise,” is the softest, most sincere thing I’ve ever heard this character say. It warms my heart every time. Tawny heads off to rehearsal and Louis is feeling prett-ay swaggy knowing he’s ~the only man in Tawny’s life~

I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS. I also never knew what he was saying here, but I think I just realized he’s mouthing to himself “I’m the only one she really wants to kiss” 

Louis was just accepting the fact that it’s ONLY ACTING until he sees the newly unveiled poster for the play that features a cozy picture from dress rehearsal. 

CUT TO THE PLAY! It starts with a bit where Tawny/Abigail calls Tom’s character Renee “a loyal and faithful manservant.” Tom originally had a speech, but Ren cut it in her rewrite. So he milks his time on stage by saying “Thank you, thank you, thank you” repeatedly to Abigail. It’s great. Tawny and Zack are up there acting really well together! Louis’ whole family is whispering about how great their chemistry is and Louis is quaking. 

One of John’s lines in the play is that he will think of Abigail “on two occasions... when my eyes are open, and when they are closed,” -- Is that a Babyface reference?! HAHA. Louis can’t take it anymore so he goes running backstage and I’m not sure what he was planning to do, but he ends up going completely insane. He somehow managed to steal Tom’s costume right off his back and goes running on stage demanding for John to leave before kissing his wife goodbye. It’s so cringeworthy. I can’t help but laugh though when Louis says “You must come with me at once! You gotta send her a postcard, email, or something! We gotta miss rush-hour traffic!” LOL. 

Ren: “How did Louis get your clothes?!”

Tom: “He can be very persuasive...” 

What could Louis possibly have said to get Tom to strip?! Omg. 

Tom goes running on stage like ^ that in an attempt to save the play somehow and says “Excuse the undergarments, m’lady! I was under the cherry tree napping!” which was always one of my mom’s favorite lines, haha. Tom tries to drag Louis off stage but the entire play officially goes down in flames when Louis starts fighting Tom off of him. He goes rollin’ all over the stage, knocking down everything in his path -- completely ruining the set. It’s funny, but I also feel so bad for Tawny. Ugh. 

After Louis destroys the whole shebang, he tries to play it off by doing this... which is truly hilarious: 

Louis meets up with Tawny outside after the play and the two have such a dramatic conversation. I love it. Louis apologizes: “You gotta understand... I tried to be mature and cool. And the next thing I know, I’m up on stage wearing Tom’s pants! I’m really sorry.” It’s way more sincere than it sounds. Louis decides that he’s not ready for a relationship. This is actually such great character development for him. Interestingly, he’s mature enough to realize he’s NOT mature enough to seriously date someone. As upsetting and frustrating as it is to see the two break up, it’s also really satisfying to see him own up to his immaturity. This creates a true arc for when they finally get together in the series finale. It feels earned. Like they’re actually ready that time around. They decide to go back to being just friends for the time being. Before they part ways, however, Louis decides to leave Tawny with a super suave kiss?! What the heck?!

This was the biggest kiss of my entire childhood between two TV characters aside from Lizzie and Gordo at the end of The Lizzie McGuire Movie tbh. Everyone was expecting that Lizzie/Gordo kiss though. THIS one was outta left field here! This is so weird to me! He’s super smooth with Beans’ cousin later on and here he’s kissin’ Tawny like a pro. Idk, man. 

The episode ends with Donnie finally crying over that Babyface lyric: “When his eyes are open, and when his eyes are closed......... THAT’S ALL THE TIME!”

And that’s it! 

Gaaad, this episode is a classic. Like I said, it was a pretty big deal for 10 year old me, let me tell ya! I feel like it’s definitely one of the most memorable episodes ever. Not to mention, it technically has 3 plots (Louis/Tawny, Ren writing the play, and Donnie) and ALL OF THEM ARE INTERTWINED FLAWLESSLY! I gotta commend that. The only department I’d say this episode is lacking in is quotable dialogue. But that’s it really! It checks every box for me otherwise! This episode and the finale probably had a lot to do with Season 3 being my favorite as a kid, haha. 

What are your thoughts on this wonderful season opener?! Please add to the conversation via Disqus belowwww!

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[sapphireorison]

Hokay. So. ACOTAR, ACOMAF, and ACOWAR. I finished them. A bit ago. And then I forgot to actual finish this write-up.

I enjoyed them! I have a great many thoughts and it will take a while to unpack them. Fair warning: I’m an editor and some of this is critique. These books hit a good number of my buttons and I legit cried in several different places, so they receive a rec from me. Just--I love to interrogate what I read as well as enjoy it. 

Spoilers to follow. :) 

:rubs hands together: 

Just in case my readers have read some but not all of the books, I’m going to be trying to split thinguses all up. This is difficult b/c I read them mostly back to back and I have a hard time splicing out storylines when I do that. Thank goodness for book summaries. 

Book 1: A Court of Thorns and Roses.

I loved the concept of eternal Spring at the Court, and I love the fact that Feyre is so driven. She makes shit happen, throws herself head-first into...not the best plans, let’s be real, but she’s sympathetic and we get a really deep glimpse into her head with the first person PoV. Her crap plans are also very interesting from a character growth standpoint, because she’s flailing around trying to figure out how things work and still willing to dive into the shit half-prepared because she thinks she needs to. I respect that in a protagonist. The supporting characters, Lucien and Alis, are also a lot of fun. I also thought the worldbuilding was fun in that the fae actually use their glamour for pretty much everything, and that there are festivals and rhythms to life. The estate feels very empty on purpose, but the life of the characters seems to extend beyond the page and I quite like that. 

One thing I found very interesting was that, as the book goes on, Maas slowly finds her stride. The end of the book is better than the beginning (and the second book better than the first, but that’s getting ahead of myself). Maas’ strength is in interaction person v. person and person v. environment, but until the environment is established, her people can’t properly interact with it. We’re missing too much and the clues aren’t actually clues that a reader can put together--or even recognizes as clues. ‘Ah yes this is a mystery’ isn’t...isn’t helpful. The world doesn’t *quite* exist before it’s explained, which is a bit rough when it’s explained at the rate of ‘clueless newbie in an information-averse environment.’ I speculate that a reason why her series are so popular is that she does very well with cumulative worldbuilding. Or, rather, working within established worldbuilding. When she’s establishing it herself, it’s a little wonky until it takes hold.

I mean, I enjoyed the whole ‘masque masks stuck to everyone’s faces’ thing but it wasn’t incorporated emotionally and then they just pop off. The resolution of that arc factored into the climax but the focus had shifted away almost completely at that point. That’s partially because we get three or four character anchors, and not a lot of secondary and tertiary characters to populate the emotional background of the story, so there are precisely two people she knows/interacts with from Spring Court there Under the Mountain and they’re narratively busy. Plus, masks are a major, ridiculously romantic imagery thing. The decadence. The finery. The masks hiding everyone’s true intentions. But without keeping them important, they don’t have the impact I think was intended.

When Maas DOES incorporate something emotionally, she’s good, imho. See anything she does with tattoos. It’s personal, a body transgression with a dab of body horror, it’s visible and has a major impact on her day-to-day attitudes and the images she strikes in this book and for the rest of the series. I ended up caring very much about that damned tattoo. 

On another note, I was /deeply confused/ at the totally blasé attitude the Spring Court had most of the book towards the fact that Feyre had murdered the fuck out of that fae. Like. I didn’t get the vibe that 'something must be going on for everyone to not be beyond pissed off at me.’ I got the the ‘wow, things are moving really fast and everyone’s reactions are a little weird because the main characters need to be together’ vibe. Which turned out not to be the case in, like, any sense, but it was still very distracting. Also, I’m just like, “There is a lot of emphasis on love in this book, but I’m not actually feelin’ it anywhere.” Maybe it’s my aromantic ass talking, but there was a lot of emphasis on the sustaining power of love that didn’t really...okay. I think it’s fair to say that I don’t *get* why love was a driving force for most of the tail end of the book when there were other perfectly valid reasons to take action and/or survive. The main character spent most of the end of the book in an altered state of mind and fixated on an emotion that wasn’t being actionably reciprocated, so that when she won things I was very excited, but when she was floundering in between I stopped being able to quite access the character.

It’s a bit of a left turn at the end into sexy villainess territory, and the altered state of mind thing--like I get why it was done on a narrative level (tho I consider it a bit of a narrative cheat), but it’s also sort of extremely iffy on a ‘future romantic interest’ level.  

Overall, though, I liked a lot of the interpersonal play between characters and how the edges don’t always meet. And I like the sense of ‘no, don’t do it! why are you doing this?!’ and ‘yes, do the thing!’ that I as a reader felt depending on the decision that Feyre had to make, and most of the time those character choices were nicely in character. 

Book 2: A Court of Mist and Fury

Well. I was spoiled by tumblr for this one, so I knew it was coming, but EVEN SO I was still a little ??? that Tamlin was straight-up the villain. On the one hand, the first book WAS a riff on a Beauty and the Beast narrative, so this is the ‘Beast’ subversion book that digs into the abuse and depression narrative. Which--I actually didn’t mind. The oddest thing was Tamlin going from a very poor fit for a boyfriend to legitimately abusive, which I take to mean (as is alluded to in later bits) that his experience Under The Mountain just...broke him. I was actually watching in the first book for ‘abusive’ cues, and they were little red flags that seemed to have been incorporated into the fabric of the story in the traditional-love-story sense that only in contrast and context analysis appear as big red flags. 

So...that’s interesting. Because it was very much a sense of exacerbated personality, without necessarily the seeds of the abusive relationship being developed as such. Even though :waves vaguely at Rhys: that dude’s presence was at least planned, and the mating bond was present at the end of the first book. So yes, it seems abrupt, and I can’t decide if it’s an abrupt that fits or not.

And just as an addendum, I’m not actually interesting in redemption stories (as I know there’s all sorts of discourse surrounding Talmin on tumblr), so I didn’t mind him being the villain and staying that way. 

The strength of this book, imho, is its tight focus on healing from abuse. It’s a very specific narrative, very in-depth, and very personal. Feyre is such an emotionally-driven character, and it’s her emotions--conflicting a lot of the times--that are cracked open and chewed-upon. And, actually, it’s her emotions that, well, it’s not that they provide /continuity/ but they actually carry the book. Whatever she’s feeling at that particular moment is encompassing, and it eclipses a lot of the book’s continuity errors and world-building...holes. At least for me, it did, and that’s part of why I enjoyed the story as much as I did. Worldbuilding is my /jam/, so the emotional resonance has to be engaging for me to enjoy a book without a solid foundation.

But part of the recovery-from-abuse narrative is that there’s a lot of emphasis on consent--or at least there’s an attempt at it. Everything at Feyre’s pace as much as possible (a convention broken only for plot, if I recall correctly.) Even if, most practically, there is a lot of organizing Feyre’s life and she doesn’t have a lot of actual control over it, she feels like she does. She is able to accomplish things again and accomplishing those things isn’t a panacea for her depression, but it certainly helps. 

What boggles my mind, with respect to the consent thing, is that Feyre very much has no control over her emotions at the best of times, not when she’s vulnerable. But that Maas adds the mating bond/soulbond nonsense. 

Okay. FULL DISCLOSURE. I...read soulbond fic. I *enjoy* soulbond fic. But I’m very picky about my soulbond fic. For the most part, I consider it to be a good part manipulative drek where people are attracted to one another for no apparent reason with an automatic love that spans lifetimes. 

Which, you know, romantic. (Says the aro lady) But my point is, that the soulbond fics that I really enjoy are the ones that really grapple with the idea that, okay, you didn’t /pick/ the soulbond. You were destined, and that destiny means you had little-to-no free will, consent, or agency in that choice. You feel encompassing...something for a person. Is it love? Is it healthy? And I understand that some people really, deeply enjoy the idea of destiny and the idea that this bond to someone in your soul means you are inherently lovable no matter where you came from or what you’ve done. I, however, resent even the hint of fate, so exploring how people deal with that (beloved) + (fate) thing is simply deliciously fascinating. 

However, in context of a recovery-from-abuse narrative it’s, uh...wow. Feyre doesn’t have a choice but to fall in love with this man. For a healing narrative making an attempt to be about giving her choice once more, a soulbond inherently removes that consent *especially* because it’s kept a secret. Feyre doesn’t know what’s going on and can’t make an informed decision about. 

But I think what completely flummoxed me was the fact that Feyre’s emotional response to finding out that she had a soulbond was *relief*. ‘Oh, it’s not actually me moving on from the abuser I sacrificed so much for and forming this crazy-strong attachment to this man in what I consider a betrayal of my former love for my abuser.’ She’s happy it’s not her fault. With one soulbond, her conflict over moving on is wiped away and resolved, even when moving on and forming a strong emotional attachment/falling in love with another man is, uh, perfectly natural. especially for someone who runs so much on her emotions as Feyre, even if maybe there’s a bit of concern that Rhys might be a rebound because he’s helping her heal (as not everyone can handle both healing-phase relationships and then the transition to stable-established). I mean, it’s an understandable response for her to be like ‘oh, thank fuck,’ but, um, that’s the end of it. She’s done feeling any conflict because she has cosmic permission to move on. 

And tbh, that’s...not an issue with character responses imho. It’s an issue with how the world is built and what function the soulbond serves within a narrative that attempts to emphasize consent...by resolving part of the conflict by make it fate. 

So that’s a thing. XD

Anyways, I am definitely of the opinion that this second book was stronger than the first, both emotionally and world-buildingly. And just...the visuals are wonderful. I think out of everything, I loved the visuals the most. 

Book 3: A Court of Wings and Ruin

The most recent (last?) book in the series, a Court of Wings and Ruin is by far and away the most solidly established book with respect to the worldbuilding and pre-established character. At this point, the world has accumulated enough that there are repercussions, politics, and things moving and shaking. The narrative expands from tight-focus on specific relationships to an epic continent-spanning conflict with multiple cooperating factions. 

It’s, uh, quite a jump. 

But first let me just...bang my fists on the table and chant: High Lady Feyre. High Lady Feyre. High Lady Feyre. The simple fact that we get to see her be High Lady and that she embraces it. No matter how the execution of her being High Lady falters, it’s viscerally pleasing that the intent is for her to be a partner. She has a powerful position, a seat at the table, and (although her inexperience is, er, a liability, uh) the ability to change the tide of the epic shenanigans going on all over the place. 

Also. Nesta. My love. She shines in this book. I just. I think it says a lot about what your favorite character in any particular book is, and for me, it’s hands down 100-percent Nesta. She’s just so angry and complicated and she lashes out and hurts people and even in the previous books when she’s being stubborn or antagonistic-y and Freyre is pissed off and hurt by her...I just kept thinking to myself: is she supposed to be my favorite? Because she’s absolutely my favorite. 

Like, she’s reserved as fuck and ready to cut into people and eat their hearts, and was dragged into Feyre’s bullshit literally kicking and screaming and basically sinking into the Cauldron while flipping the world off. And then she rips part of the Cauldron’s power out with her teeth. Plus, she develops a thing for the one who is clearly the hottest boy character (sorry Rhys, I have a type). I mean, she couldn’t be set up any more perfectly as my favorite character. 

Like. I like Feyre, but to be quite honest, I don’t GET Feyre. (I don’t recall if I said that in part one, but whatever, this is part three and a whole different book.) I just...Feyre is emotional to the point where I lose hold of her, because I’m not the same personality type. I can feel what she feels because that’s Maas’ forte as a writer, but that’s about as far as my sympathy goes. I /feel/, but I don’t understand why she acts the way she does on those feelings. 

What I do find interesting is the trope evolution of the soulbond thing. It’s like Maas walks it back. It’s a mating bond and it’s physical. It’s not necessarily a ‘meeting of souls’ or ‘one true love’ thing, because there have been crap soulbonds in the past, but a signifier that elf-y genetics decicded they’d create good bebs. Which...holy het, batman, for one, the implication being that only reproducing couples will ever matebond. And two--that’s...a marked difference from the second book. There’s also some confusion as to whether the mating bond is destiny or a result of love. Because more than once it’s referred to wanting the mating bond to snap into place (implying that love can come first), and more often it’s shown that the mating bond is destiny. It’s never clarified if it’s both, or Feyre’s mistaken, or what. Or if it can actually be cancelled, or if it becomes only cancelled for one because it’s ventured by one? Or if there’s an attempt to snap it into place and...

Basically, book three just confuses the shit out of the issue of the soulbond from the straightforward trope-dancing of the second book to attempting to address edge cases without actually clarifying anything. 

There is one point, though, where I’m sort of...the series started as one thing and has morphed into somthing entirely different, and the style it’s written in can’t quite support it yet. Namely, there’s a scene where Feyre does a bit of psychic eavesdropping to relive a scene we would not otherwise have gotten to see and just...

That, my friend, is cheating the first-person narrative. It’s invasive, and debatably out of character, and is handle with a ‘sometimes we suck, and we just have to get over it’ conversation, and the invasion is never elsewise addressed. It’s just, like. An errant scene. It’s worked into things, but in such a way that the value of the scene is debatable for as much damage as it causes the narrative. 

Which flows into the fact that the narrative can’t sustain the epic battle thing. There’s a deus ex machina at the end, even though it’s not the thing that wins the day. Like, there’s an entirely character PoV and narrative thread that’s just...left out. For three books. Which is a limitation of first person without careful plotting. But the whole end with reinforcements and Lucien and the firebird Queen? Not out of the blue, but like...a whole different book. 

And the last thing that I think is interesting that *doesn’t* touch on the Black Jewels trilogy, is part of the inspiration for some of the fae mythology, namely the Black Cauldron. 

Or, more rather, the Chronicles of Prydain by Lloyd Alexander, upon which the Disney movie the Black Cauldron was based. The Chronicles themselves are based on Welsh Mythology, notably the Mabinogion. But the Chronicles have the three witches in the swamp (the three death gods?), the fair folk, the land of death with its control of the Cauldron with the power to create an unstoppable army. Of a living sacrifice jumping into the cauldron of their own will being the only thing to shatter it.

(And, hilariously, I did a search for what Maas herself said about Prydain since I was gonna ramble on about it, and it really does seem like they were a major inspiration for her. I found a twitter thread where she laments that he used all the really cool antiquated names for all the places she wants to use. If you wanna see what she says about it, pairing the author names will give you direct quotes from her saying how much inspiration she drew from them.)

It’s just that even though Eyrian and Illyrian are very similar, Illyria is the name of a Baltic country back in antiquity. And her naming conventions for the races aren’t complicated. The angel-people are Seraphim. The falcon-people are Peregryn. She uses a lot of possibly-Greek-inspired words for her mythological faerie people. So while I wouldn’t say Illyrian is a coincidence, it does fit with her rampage through her favorite things, pulling in disparate (and sometimes clashing) elements and knitting them together as she slowly builds her world the best she can.

To me, this feels like a hodgepodge of inspiration, though I know that a lot of people knock the books for tasting very strongly of Bishop’s work. I’d argue that, Prydain and the aforementioned Welsh mythology and Greek references are as much an influence on Prythian as Kaeleer and Terrielle are, at least in the worldbuilding aspects. She even says in interviews that they’re her inspiration. She’s enthusiastic about them in a charming way (I say as an editor of new, baby authors who have this sort of love for their inspiration, too.)

But ‘what is inexpert but honest homage and what is are you sure this isn’t fic’ is a discussion for...later. That I’m half done with. Hopefully I’ll be able to finish and post it sometime soon. :) 

[livingwithashipname-blog]

Ermanda’s Inner Sanctum: Scorpion Season 3A

This is a general review post on the first half of Scorpion season 3 with my introspective critiques.  To follow my in-depth episode reviews, drabbles, and thought pieces for Scorpion (and other shows), follow the tag “ermanda’s inner sanctum” for more.  This post is long so read at your own risk! 😜😂😂😂😂😂

I think this portion of the season resolved season 2 cliffhangers well.  The elements were addressed in a step-down manner that showed adequate research of these topics and didn’t introduce anything too unrealistic in their resolutions.  There were other elements that didn’t deliver because of the quantity over quality conundrum.  I appreciate the exploration of new relationships this season within the cyclone and all the new foreshadowing bits I have witnessed so far.  I am intrigued to see where these stories are going.  Here are some specific things I would like to address. 

Series Goals vs. Time Slot

Various interviews from the showrunners and actors, as well as elements of the show itself, suggest that Scorpion is a family show and will continue to meet this goal over time.  A 10 pm time slot means that there is room to push portions of the show to appeal to more adult audiences.  The showrunners have decided to do this in the type of major storylines introduced and how they are portrayed on screen.  Episode 3.03 It Isn’t The Fall That Kills You is a good example of a grittier portrayal of the Waige dynamic and Happy’s cadmium poisoning that mimicked pregnancy in symptomatology and testing is another example of dealing with the concept of loss that doesn’t involve miscarriage.  However, disillusionment within the fandom exists when the personal storylines don’t fit fandom expectations for a show in a particular time slot.  When the show (in the eyes of fans) fails to deliver on the personal end, it is easy to default to the mission.  If the same happens there, the entire episode feels inadequate.  I am indifferent If Scorpion stays in its 10 pm slot or returns to 9 pm.  I am more concerned about which day it is scheduled.  Mondays are perfect right now.  Tuesdays are too competitive with other networks (gotta save those slots for the network’s heavy hitters - NCIS series), Wednesdays are already devoted to Survivor and Criminal Minds, and Thursdays are devoted to sitcoms.  Scorpion is not a show that fits CBS’s aims for Friday programming and it is not close to an end for the network to push it to Sundays “to live out its last days.”  There are still a large number of shows that have to go and be replaced by new shows.  If the show returns to 9 pm, there are certain ways they have to “censor” the dialogue to fulfill network demands to audiences accessible at that time.  Thus, there will always be this struggle between fulfilling the family goal and pushing the envelope with a 10 pm time slot.  The show has succeeded in some ways, but it can definitely do more with the opportunities the 10 pm time slot provides.  I don’t anticipate any sex scenes beyond the scope of that seen in episode 1.14 Charades for this show, but if that happens in the future I will be pleasantly enthused.  

Comparison to Numb3rs

In a lot of ways, Scorpion feels just like Numb3rs, which is another crime drama that premiered on CBS for 6 seasons.  It’s one of my all-time favorites and currently lives on in syndication on ION television in the US almost 7 years after the series finale.  If you’re not familiar with this series, all 6 seasons are available on Amazon Instant Video with a Prime account and Hulu.  Here’s a synopsis of the series: 

FBI agent Don Eppes recruits his younger brother, Charlie, a mathematical genius and college professor, to help solve some of Don's toughest cases. Although others at the bureau are skeptical of Charlie's involvement, he finds support in a colleague at the university where he teaches.

The show showcased a romantic relationship between Charlie, the math genius, and a fellow colleague who was as equally smart; the nerdy, awkward friend who managed to woo the strong heroine; the difficulties of raising a family where one child is a genius and the other is a normal; the sibling rivalry that exists between brothers because of this dynamic; and much more.  Maybe this is why I flocked to Scorpion so quickly.  And now that Scorpion is up for syndication, it all seems like deja vu.  So I am curious to see if Scorpion will be handled like Numb3rs in the future since both shows are with CBS. 

Areas for Improvement

Suspense/Mystery

I think the show needs to do a better job at CONSISTENTLY creating suspense with each mission’s operational casualties.  For example, I think that the apparent danger of the tornado scene in 2.21 Twist and Shout wouldn’t have fallen flat if it had obscured Walter and Paige for a moment and we only heard their voices while they were holding onto each other for dear life.  That would have given the situation more of a semblance of realism and make us wonder about their safety even though we know that they would survive.  Also, don’t get me started on the wire work in that episode.  Where was the body control?! 😂  For this season, episode 3.10 This Is The Pits comes to mind when Walter got stuck in the tar.  One episode I quickly recall where this is done well is in 2.13 White Out. 

Continuity of Injury & Emotional Fallout

These characters manage to find themselves in dangerous situations mission after mission and heal quickly or they encounter a major emotional event that is resolved in that episode or picked up again 10 episodes later.  Granted, this is expected of procedurals where each episode is set up to tell a new story each week that keeps the casual, periodic viewer engaged and cognizant of the show’s overall goals without the need for 5-6 episodes to fill in the blanks.  Also, the actors talk about this superhero aspect that has been infused into the show.  So this suggests that this is intentional.  However, there have been moments such as Walter’s hand injury and Toby’s post-kidnapping injuries (physical & emotional) that should have been seen for more than 1 episode.  Thus, it would be nice to see the dramatic elements of this show extended in small, subtle ways outside their brief multi-episode arcs that are not foreshadowing elements for later developments and are done in ways that are not easily missed when presented within an episode.  Yet, I will argue that certain things are not as easy to portray on-screen and it is an understandable reality that I am willing to accept in some ways. 

A New Cyclone Hangout 

I would like to see a financial investment in new hangouts that are also used to explore the emotional complexities of the cyclone as is done with the garage rooftop.  These could be anywhere from someone’s living quarters to an unexplored area of the garage.  I use Criminal Minds as a point of reference - another big budget show with a central hub that also explores more locales throughout each season.  Yet, I also consider that these new locales may not be chosen as often as the fans would like to see because investment is an expensive venture that is not fiscally possible given approved plans for the season and what can be accomplished by production within a given time frame.  For example, the backdrop of city scene on the rooftop is CGI, but it takes time and money (paying editors to make it work with actors who are moving in and out of shots) to do it well. 

Better Application of Plausible Scientific Scenarios & Explanation of These Events

I think this point is self-explanatory, but I will refer to a recent scene.  Scott Porter was directed to deliver this lengthy piece of dialogue for his character in 3.10 This Is The Pits and then perform the task afterwards.  This order negatively affected the purpose of the dialogue and the efficiency of the action.  It would have been more realistic for his character to perform the task while reiterating an understanding for the science so it didn’t seem like he dictating a term paper.  I hope that makes sense!  LOL!      

Dropped Storylines

There have been several storylines within this series on a whole that have been introduced and never mentioned again.  But the ones that are problematic are those that contributed to a story arc within a season.  The best example of this would be Sly’s journey to acquire naming rights for the pediatric ward in the hospital Megan spent her last days.  Sly was working on raising enough money to do that.  And it was insinuated that the turnover time was not long.  So... 👀  Is there a plan to work this into his political campaign in the future?  Let’s hope so!

Number of Plots Covered in One Episode

This is another self-explanatory point.  It’s another quality over quantity argument with a show that already gives so much given time constraints.  

BE REALISTIC!!! 😉

There will always be things that we like and do not like with all of our favorite shows.  Does this mean that you should lower the bar of expectation?  No.  However, it is so important to put your expectations in check.  Pay attention to clues within each episode and think about the music choices, the shot selection, and the dialogue to fully understand what is being communicated in that moment and beyond.  In other words, you have to put down your shipper goggles for a minute and use foreshadowing ones.  Hahahaha... but fo real tho!  Recognize production patterns because they are usually good predictors of what to expect from season to season.  I even addressed one in this post.  There are many within this show, but the most prominent is that for the ships.  I’m gonna let you figure that one out! 😉  If you want to talk about it more, drop an inquiry in the inner sanctum (aka. my ask box) or hit me up in the chat! 

A short note on ratings & syndication: Syndication is the evil twin of continuity.  CBS loves its syndication deals.  A show will get renewed if it is up for syndication.  Ratings for 8 & 9 pm shows are always better than those at 10 pm.  The important factor to consider is average consistency.  Even if ratings decline in the US, the network will choose to move forward with episode orders if a show has a good international following (e.g. Elementary).  So if you have international followers who are also fans, ask them to indulge the content in the way it’s available within their country. 

Constant complaints about things that can be fixed are just seen as noise if they are not accompanied with realistic ideas.  They only put up more walls between creators and fans in an era where communication between these two groups is closer than ever.  The reality is that all these comments come with a turnover time of AT LEAST 2 months in which 3-4 episodes have already been written and shot.  If it fits with what’s already established, there’s a chance it might be considered.  But if it doesn’t, expect that idea to get tabled for the latter portion of a season or the next.  It is more advantageous to share your headcanons, set ideas, etc., as it would be done in the writing room and be specific when you do.  If you honestly think no one is watching/reading because your desires have not been met, you are living in the clouds.  That’s how you set yourself to get baited by clever PR moves.  Patience is a virtue.  If a season’s developments still do not suit your fancy, stop with the emotional masochism and either figure out a new way to indulge the content if you still want to stay close to it or drop off entirely.  At the end of the day, EXERCISE YOUR CREATIVE FRUSTRATIONS IN FANFICTION if all else fails!  That’s where everything goes down and I love it!

Kudos to wardrobe because the looks this season are really great!  Kudos to production and art  departments for the amazing cave set of 3.06 Bat Poop Crazy and the cabin set for 3.11 Wreck The Halls.  Kudos to location scouts and the camera crew for capturing scenic beauty in 3.08 Sly and the Family Stone!  Kudos to the showrunners and writers for exploiting the strengths of their cast!  

THAT’S ALL PEEPS!  TOODLES & HAPPY SCORPION MONDAYS!!! 😘

[paradoxspaces]

actually here are more 3 am meat feelings

my prevailing thought about meat, which will probably sustain throughout candy and probably the rest of this week if not my life, is that john egbert died and none of his friends (beyond terezi) know about it. none of them know. he fucking died and his last words were a love confession to a girl who he doesnt even really know. john egbert died. he is probably not coming back and, even if there was a ‘’chance’’, he has been summarily dismissed from the narrative. 

john egbert died trying to be a hero even after we were told he wasnt special and he is dead!! he died and he didnt get to reconnect with the betas or the alphas even, didnt really work through any of his depression. he fucked terezi (suRe?) and tried to tell her loved her and fucking died. i am, literally, never going to be over it. 

hgshss aside from that i actually liked the ending more than I thought? The middle was extremely touch and go for me--there were moments I liked and then something would happen that I’d get upset about and the cycle continued-- but I thought the last few chapters were interesting and genuinely enjoyable. basically i love kanaya maryam so fucking much and i was so glad to see her be herself again ashjsj i lovE her.

Seeing the characters get motivated to work together and stop Dirk was a surprisingly optimistic conclusion for an ending that was clearly obsessed with misery. I didn’t expect that kind of ‘call to action’ that occurred, but I was glad to see it. Despite that and despite the post-scripts, I don’t think theres going to be anything after this. Alt-Calliopes last words in meat made it seem, to me, that any kind of additional work was to fall into the reader’s hands, in fanwork or w/e. or, at least, I supremely doubt hussie will be involved in anything going forward. there are still things left open, and new questions wrt dirk and the bots and the new session, but I feel like this was all meant to stir up investment in hs as a property, as a place to think about and create work for and pay attention to (and buy friendsims), but not as a piece of ongoing media. we have been compelled to think about homestuck for a while longer, but I’m not sure we will be reading new content again--or at least not for a while. (maybe candy will change my mind, though? so many ppl seem SO sure that there will be more and I dont know why besides wishful thinking)

not even sure if id really want more, unless it was like a 10 chap sequence about a secret middle route where john doesnt die, vrisrezi 4 real, and a normal dirk receives therapy and like chains ultidirk to the ocean floor or something. all the betas hang out regularly, but specifically rose and jade have one fucking conversation at least. 

(actually the concept of a like theatre of coolty-esque all-dirk showdown is. good. ultidirk/teen dirk/hal/brain ghost try to out-monologue each other and then fight) 

(actually actually jake kills ultidirk with his bare fucking hands to get some retribution for the bullshit that happened to him)

obviously obviously obviously I still have big issues with stuff. i hate that jakes main character trait is being sexualised and manipulated and the narrative still just makes him out to be the fucking dumbest shallowest idiot. why cant jake get like.....any depth at all....why cant there be an acknowledgment of how fully traumatized he must be at this point?? also i cant get behind johnrezi, tbh, tho i think theyre written well. beyond my full devotion to scourge sisters, they didn’t even talk that much, and most of their convo was tz dictating her plan to john to get the love of her live back. it isnt like they hung out all that often???? before that, their most notable interaction was when terezi tricked john into dying for a joke. why is john obsessed with these two girls he barely spoke to, who are both in love with other people?? (might be worth thinking about further) i dont like that 99% of the time roxys transness was brought up only to have someone near by be a fucking dick about it. Jane: become fascist is still really bizarre to me. i still think some of the HEAVY focus on meta commentary is a bit of a drag. 

overall i think this whole ‘exploration of the ugly bad awful shit’ was certainly that. we got meat, we got high plot/action/drama. bad things happened and everyone was miserable and disconnected and awful to each other. narrative relevance through trauma/pain/violence. I really thought it was going to end with some kind of tpk, so this kind of vaguely optimistic pseudo-cliffhanger was better than I really expected it to be. I’m holding off on like sweeping estimations until after candy, but I still am not sure what the point of having everything be THIS open ended is if not for a sequel and im not sure what the focus on ‘releasing narrative responsibility from the singular author/interpretation’ is doing if not directly precluding a sequel. so idk. onto candy, i guess. we’ll see how this all goes. 

(I hate ultidirk as much as the next girl ESPECIALLY for what he did to kan and for being just like....the worst during johns death but like. im dumb im dumb and bad and part of me wants dirk redemption in some form, ideally in another splinter obvi. i was extremely horrified and resistant to big villain dirk but after reading his later thoughts i get it more than I thought I would and its all very interesting. I also, like a lot of others, am entertained by the image of him cavorting around like a sailor moon villain or something) 

(i don’t love the weird convo that was kind of trying to excuse/react to the Incest Commentary Drama and I would have paid to have it removed but w/e)

(ALSO THE FUCKING ‘COSMIC LOVE’ VRISREZI BIT I. I !!?! TEREZI LOVES VRISKA SO MUCH. SHE LOVES HER S MUCH GUYS. SHE LOOKED FOR HER FOR FUCKING YEARS IN HER POV AND ALMOST DIED BC SHE DIDN’T WANT TO GIVE UP HDSHA LET THESE GIRLS KISS IM SO FUCKING SAD. 

HOMESTUCK IS ABOUT VRISREZI RIGHTS ONLY. I ONLY CARE ABOUT TWO GIRLS AND HOW MUCH THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. GOD IM IN HELL GOD GOD GOD THEYRE IN LOVE!!!!! )

[anavoliselenu]

Hiched chapter 23

More importantly, I’ve come to grips with my feelings. I can look Justin in the eye and tell him I love him. I know exactly what my future holds, and I’m eager for every minute of it.

Well, the future in a general sense, anyway. Right now, I don’t know anything, because Camryn is covering my closed eyes with her hands as she guides me through the house. She put on my makeup and helped me zip up my dress—a gorgeous pale pink princess-cut gown, boat neck with lacy cap sleeves—but she refused to breathe a single word about Justin’s plans. I haven’t even seen what she’s wearing yet.

“Almost there,” she says.

“I can tell.”

I’m pretty sure where we are. The floor beneath my high heels has changed from the hardwood of the hallway into plush carpet, and I hear the buzzing murmur of our many guests talking, muffled by thick glass. We must be in the den, near the French doors that lead out onto the patio and rear garden.

“Don’t open your eyes yet.” Camryn’s hands leave my face. A door handle clicks and the noise from the backyard abruptly becomes louder. “Okay, open them!”

The entire garden, already lovely in the golden light of late afternoon, is festooned with paper lanterns and garlands of fluffy peonies in every color of the rainbow. Each table holds its own small bouquet of peonies as a centerpiece. A bar and a long buffet table piled with what looks like tapas occupy the far right corner of the garden. On the opposite side, the same band we booked for Tate & Cane’s big beach party provides a mellow instrumental backdrop.

And through the middle of the lawn, a snow-white runner marks the path to a tall, arched floral bower. Beneath it is an altar where we’ll recite our renewed vows—and where Justin already stands, devastatingly handsome in his tuxedo, his glowing smile directed at me like I’m the only woman in the world.

My sister, Rachel, and a gaggle of my other female relatives encircle the patio. While I stand gawking at everything, they cheer at my approach, turning heads throughout the larger crowd and sparking off a round of applause. All the women are wearing identical tea-length tulle gowns in an airy shade of seafoam green, as if they were bridesmaids. And when I turn around in astonishment, I see that Camryn is dressed the same way too.

“You like it?” She laughs, pulling me into a hug. “Justin picked my brains about your perfect wedding. He must have sent me a million e-mails confirming everything.”

Then the band starts playing the opening bars of the wedding march. The bridesmaids scatter to take their places along the aisle, and Camryn shoos me off, insisting, “Go on, you’ve got a husband to smooch!”

Blinking back tears of joy, I walk through my bridesmaids toward Justin. The man who so quickly became my friend, my groom, and finally my lover. Not the order that most people do romance in . . . but I wouldn’t have things any other way, because this is our story.

As I reach the altar to stand at Justin’s side, I spot Dad in his wheelchair at the very front of the audience, with an attending health aide sitting next to him. Of course I know that he’s not well, but he’s beaming like this is the best day of his life.

“You look stunning,” Justin whispers to me, taking my hand and stroking the back of it. His eyes are shining like I’ve never seen.

The depth of emotion reflected back at me takes my breath away. I don’t think his expression in this moment is something I’ll ever forget for as long as I live. I feel like his entire world, his most important treasure, his everything. And I love it.

Justin turns to address our audience directly. “Three months ago, Selena became my wife. But as many of you may know, our union was not a typical one. We married in stressful times; our families’ company was facing the end of an era. And our relationship itself has had its share of rough spots. But we overcame every obstacle, and our love bloomed despite the circumstances.”

Taking my hand, he turns to face me, still speaking clearly enough to let our guests hear. “You’ve made me a better man, Selena. I believe in this marriage more than ever. I am so grateful that I get to spend the rest of my life at your side, and I eagerly await whatever that life may bring us.”

My breath catches in my throat, but he’s not done yet.

“On our wedding day, I pledged my commitment to you. I promised to honor, cherish, and comfort you, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, for better or for worse. Now I want to add true love to that list. I am honored to stand here today, in front of these witnesses”—with his free hand, Justin makes a sweeping gesture that encompasses our entire audience—“not only to reaffirm all my wedding promises, but to announce that I love you. I always have and I always will, for as long as we both shall live.”

Justin suddenly drops to one knee. “Will you take me as your husband again, Selena?”

Blinking back tears, I take his hand and encourage him to his feet. I lift up on my toes and press a kiss to his lips.

“I do,” I whisper against his mouth.

The crowd surrounding us bursts into a chorus of whoops, whistles, and applause. I glimpse Dad and several of the bridesmaids dabbing at their eyes.

Just as the sun touches the horizon, the paper lanterns blink to life, one by one, transforming the garden into an enchanting dance floor. The band eases down into a languid, soulful tune and the singer starts crooning “At Last” by Etta James.

Justin stands up, still holding my hand. “May I have this dance, Mrs. Tate?”

Our first wedding dance . . . it might not be our first dance as a married couple, but it means the same thing.

I step close to Justin and loop my arms around his neck. “Of course. Lead the way.”

Gently rocking, wrapped warm in each other’s embrace, we sway in slow circles around the dance floor. I rest my head on Justin’s shoulder and enjoy the feeling of moving together with him, our rhythms united. We’ve spent our whole lives so close, but just barely out of step. Now we’re finally in tune, in sync, in love.

When the song ends, it feels like waking up from a dream. Our guests applaud as we step off the dance floor and others step onto it, letting the reception officially begin.

A white-coated waiter serves us chilled glasses of champagne, each topped with a slice of floating strawberry.

We take a sip, and as the bubbles dance on my tongue, I find myself blinking back tears once again. The scene before me is almost too much. Every inch of this reception is beautiful. And all of it was planned for me by my husband. Seriously, what guy does that?

“What do you think?” Justin asks, dropping a tender kiss onto the back of my neck. “Is it everything you hoped it might be?”

“No.” I shake my head. “It’s more.” My throat is tight, and I know he can see my eyes brimming with tears. I blink them away, refusing to ruin my makeup that Camryn spent an hour applying.

“I love you,” he says simply.

We walk over toward our head table that faces out on the garden and all the guests.

“Why did you say no to me all those years ago?” I ask.

He looks at me quizzically. “When?”

“That summer at Puget Sound. I was ready to hand you my virginity on a silver platter.”

He laces his fingers with mine. “Because I knew back then I wasn’t ready for a woman like you. You weren’t the casual type. You were the marrying type. And I was still just a dumb kid—all I wanted to do was sow my wild oats. I didn’t deserve the greatest gift you could offer.”

His answer is so honest, so sweet, that all I can do is merely nod.

He helps me into my seat, then inclines his head at the buffet table. “Do you want me to get you something?”

“Yes, please.” Lunch was more than a few hours ago.

I smooth my skirts out around me and settle in to wait, watching the laughing guests as they mill and mingle. Soon Justin returns with two glasses of red wine and two heaping plates of tapas.

“This looks great.” Justin sets a plate down in front of me but before I can dig in, I hear him chuckle.

Following his gaze, I spot Rosita on the dance floor and smile, watching as she dances with her thirteen-year-old son who’s taller than she is.

“What did she think about her promotion?” I ask, helping myself to a bite of grilled prawn.

With the same fondness in his eyes that a son has for a mother, Justin smiles. “She hugged me. And then when I told her the pay increase, she cried.”

I place my hand over his. My sweet, loving husband is a good man underneath it all, and I know I’m blessed beyond measure.

“Looks like everyone’s having a good time,” I say as I raise my glass to my lips. The reception party for our not-a-wedding is in full swing.

Justin chuckles. “That’s for sure. I can already tell who’s going to hook up later.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh, come on, Snowflake. You can’t tell me you’ve never played that guessing game at weddings before.”

It does sound kind of fun, but I still roll my eyes at him. Just to tease him, I point to Sterling and Camryn, standing near the bar.

“Okay then, how much do you want to bet on them?” I ask sarcastically. No way would those two ever hook up.

Justin squints in their direction—then bursts out laughing.

“What? Are you okay?” I ask, bewildered.

“So that’s why Sterling has seemed so restless lately. Damn, how did I not see it before? He was getting laid just like usual, but the difference was, there was a specific girl he wanted who he couldn’t get. All the signs were there; I was just too wrapped up in my own shit to notice. I’ll have to bring him a beer later . . . and tease him about his little crush until he punches me.”

Now I’m staring toward the bar too. “Sterling and Camryn? Really?” My brain is still hung up on that part. But when my gaze falls back to Justin, I shrug, smiling. Then again, I guess stranger stars have aligned.

“Hey, Justin,” I say softly. “I’ve been thinking about something. Specifically, about us . . . having a baby.”

He whips around to gape at me. “What do you mean?”

I take his hand in mine. “I’ve thought a lot about this. Everyone said your life will change. Well, just like I always do, I had to break that down into pros versus cons. I wasn’t sure I wanted our life to change. But ever since the whole heir clause thing, it’s been on my mind, and after I had some time to think about it, I realized . . . I like the sound of starting a family with you.” I rest my forehead against his, looking deep into the dark eyes I hold so dear. “It’s more than worth it to me. And I’m not saying right away, but maybe we just see. So if you’re okay with it too, I wanted you to know . . . I’m open to the possibility.”

For a second, he just stares, his mouth slightly open. Then he crushes our lips together, fiery and joyful. “Are you kidding?” He gasps. “I’m crazy about you. I’m more than okay with this—I’m over the fucking moon.” Another hard kiss. “I love you so much. You make me so happy.” The words pour out between hot, sweet kisses, as if he can’t stand to keep his emotions inside but he also can’t stand to stop touching me, our guests be dammed.

I love being the center of this man’s world. And even though I can’t imagine that anything could top this moment, somehow I know that our wedding night will.

Chapter Fourteen

Selena

The dreamy little smile on my lips refuses to fade. The night has been magical. Enchanted. I felt like a princess. But instead of being rescued from a dark castle, my prince rescued me from a loveless life of monotony and work. With Justin by my side, everything is brighter.

The limousine drops us off at home. Rather than being tired from the late hour, I’m energized. As Justin unlocks our front door, I’m struck by how the meaning of this penthouse apartment has changed for me. Dad gave it to us as an early wedding gift, but we were only getting married in the legal sense, and at the time, I hadn’t even come around to that idea yet. Justin and I could barely call each other friends. The gift was an awkward shock. I was angry, scared, resentful at being forced out of my own space.

For the first couple of weeks, Justin and I tiptoed around each other like houseguests. But eventually, as we grew closer, it became a comfortable refuge where we reunited at the end of a long day and restored each other’s spirits. Now it’s our true marital home—a place where love sprouted and took root. It’s truly ours, truly shared, not just a lease that happens to have two names on it.

I’m startled out of my thoughts when Justin bends low and sweeps me off my feet—literally, with one strong arm under my knees and the other under my shoulders.

“W-what are you doing?” I squeak, throwing my arms around his neck.

He chuckles, and I can feel the vibration in his chest even through his tuxedo jacket. “Carrying you across the threshold. What does it look like, Snowflake?”

I relax slightly, no longer nervous about falling. “That was supposed to happen when we were first married.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t do it at the time. All of today is my big do-over.” His voice lowers to a sultry hum. “And that includes the wedding night we never got.”

Damn, I like the sound of that. I let him know by stretching up to kiss his stubbled jaw.

Cradling me bridal-style, Justin steps easily through the doorway as if I weigh nothing. “Anywhere else you want to go while your chariot is still at your service? Like the bedroom?”

“I thought you were always at my service,” I tease as I glance around. “Hmm, how about the couch first? We should relax a little before just jumping into things.”

Justin carries me into the living room and sets me on the couch. But before he can straighten up again, I grip his lapels and tug him down with me, into a tangle of limbs and a deep kiss that leaves us both flushed.

“What happened to taking tonight slow?” His voice is noticeably huskier.

With the mischievous grin that I learned from him, I reply, “I lied.” Then I push Justin back to sit up and swing my leg over his lap, straddling him.

He gives a quiet murmur of approval and kisses me. I return it, and our tongues dance hard and deep. I hike up the skirt of my dress so that I can grind my hips down against his growing erection. He rewards me with another rougher growl that demands more. Without breaking our kiss, I unbutton his tuxedo jacket. He shrugs it off and tosses it toward the far end of the couch, letting it land in a heap. But when I reach down to unzip his pants, Justin catches my hand.

“Wait, babe,” he says, sounding like it pains him to stop me. “Slow down; let me get a condom.” He reaches for his discarded suit jacket to grab his wallet.

Now it’s my turn to cover his hand with mine. “Actually, I was thinking we’d go without one tonight.”

I bite my lip, grinning, when he stares at me with an earnest expression in his eyes.

“Don’t fucking tease me like that, baby.” He lets out a low groan. “Did you start taking the pill or something?”

“No, I’m not on any birth control.” I know the words I spoke to him earlier tonight must be flashing through his mind with even greater clarity. “Tonight I’m ready to feel you, all of you. Just us . . . together.”

“Fuck yes, baby, that sounds so fucking perfect.”

I need him now. Working my hand into the front of his pants, I pull his cock out and stroke it while he releases a satisfied sigh.

Justin’s hands go to work, unzipping the back of my dress, and I rise to my feet and watch it puddle on the floor. As soon as I step out of the dress, I plant myself back in Justin’s warm lap, not wanting to stay away for even a second.

I trace the lettering I’m still getting used to, loving it more than I ever thought possible, and he inhales sharply at my touch.

“I can’t believe you put my name here. It’s permanent, you know?”

“So are we,” he murmurs, kissing my throat.

His fingertips trace my curves, the white silky lace of my lingerie. But I can’t wait any longer. I yank aside my panties and impale myself on him, sinking down onto his steely length with a satisfied sigh.

Justin bites his lip and moans deep in his chest, an animal sound of pure pleasure. “Holy fuck, that feels amazing.”

I have to agree with him. Something about the sensation of his hot flesh directly against mine is so gratifying, so intimate and primal. I can feel every detail of his cock inside me—the ridge where head becomes shaft, the way it twitches when I clench my inner muscles. And even if it didn’t feel any different for me, just the knowledge that his pleasure has intensified so much would be fucking hot.

He grips my ass cheeks in his palms, lifting and lowering me slowly. His biceps flex with each movement, and I feel like a goddess perched on her throne with the way he’s worshiping my skin, nibbling my throat.

Time to test his stamina. I set a fast pace, riding him hard, my breath coming fast from my throat every time I plunge down and thrust his cock straight into my G-spot. Neither of us gives a shit that Justin is still mostly dressed and we haven’t made it to the bedroom. This is the honeymoon we never got to have, and we’re damn well going to enjoy it.

“Selena . . .” Justin moans, as if just saying my name gives him pleasure. “I love you. You’re my . . . whole world.”

Words fail me. The devotion shining in his eyes is too much—I can barely breathe, let alone speak. I crush our mouths together, trying to pour all my happiness into my kiss, knowing he’ll understand. This man is all mine. He chased me, caught me, tattooed my name on his skin, and now I’m never letting go.

The sounds of panting and the smack of skin on skin fill the air. I gasp when Justin’s hand pushes between our sweaty, writhing bodies to start working my clit. He bucks his hips to meet me with every thrust, his other arm locked tight around my waist to keep up the demanding rhythm. He alternately cranes his head up to kiss me or down to bury his face in my breasts, licking and sucking my nipples.

“Come for me,” Justin growls, rubbing my clit harder. “You’re so beautiful. Let me make you come, let me watch you . . .”

I’ve never wanted anything so bad. Feverishly I grind down on him, needing more, faster. I’ve been waiting all day to touch him like this. The heat between my legs coils tight—

Then finally snaps, flooding white sparks of pleasure throughout my body. My arms tighten around him, every muscle quivering in ecstasy as I fall into his dark, adoring eyes.

“So perfect,” Justin pants. “I can feel you coming, pulsing around me . . .” His words dissolve into a loud groan and his cock throbs inside me.

It feels like forever until the tremors fade. With his cock still softening in me, I rest my sweaty forehead against Justin’s. He kisses me softly, just the barest brush of lips.

When I’ve caught my breath, I lean back to brush a stray curl of damp hair out of his eyes, smiling down at him fondly. Justin has spiced up my life in ways I never could have anticipated. I’m happier, calmer, more carefree and adventurous. And not just because of the increase in orgasms, either . . . although that certainly doesn’t hurt.

I feel a dripping sensation between my thighs. My smile falters and my cheeks flush when I realize it’s Justin’s come. I’ve never had condom-less sex with a man before. Obviously, I knew it would involve him coming inside me, but actually feeling the evidence is a totally different matter. It’s both embarrassing and strangely, unexpectedly hot.

Justin reads my mind. “Want me to clean you up?”

That sounds nice . . . also really hot, actually. “You got me all messy, so it only seems fair,” I tease my sweet husband.

Justin rises, lifting me into his arms, and carries me toward the bedroom. I bury my face in the crook of his neck, a sigh of love on my lips.

Epilogue

Selena

Three Months Later

I close my laptop with a sigh. It’s five o’clock on the dot. Normally, I might be tempted to work overtime, but not today. My Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evenings are reserved for visiting Dad. My younger sister, Rachel, visits him on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, since her classes end early on those days, and she often spends weekends with him too.

Dad’s health has declined steadily ever since he fell the night of Tate & Cane’s gala. Our Hail Mary pass, the night that saved our company, also spelled the beginning of his end. Three months ago, Dad was given only one more month to live. His doctors aren’t really sure how he exceeded that prognosis by such a huge margin—although Dad himself always says, “It’s because my two wonderful daughters visit so often and keep my spirits up.”

But it’s clear that his journey will come to an end soon; we just don’t know exactly when. He’s confined to his bed much of the time, but he has a helpful staff to look after him in his own home, rather than in a hospital.

Not too long ago, I thought I’d be sobbing nonstop. And sometimes I do still find myself choking up. But Dad is so positive about everything that I can’t help being soothed. His lack of fear and his acceptance of his death has helped me accept it too. I try to cherish the present moment instead of mourning the inevitable and letting it spoil what little time we have left. Whenever the tears come, I let myself feel them, but with hope that the grief doesn’t pull me under completely.

My car purrs as I leave New York City behind, away from its noisy, smoggy hustle into the slower quiet of the suburbs. Instead of pulling my car into his garage when I arrive, I park on the street outside the front gate and walk up the winding driveway, enjoying the crisp air of the last days of autumn. The garden’s flowers have faded and fallen, but their leaves are still green, the rosebushes are still pregnant with plump red blooms. The oak tree sheltering the house is a blaze of orange and yellow.

I let myself in the front door. A woman in scrubs bustles past me down the main hall. I recognize her as the registered nurse who comes once a day to monitor Dad’s condition. I walk to the master bedroom, which has been transformed into a makeshift hospital room: a mechanized bed, a wheelchair, an IV stand, an oxygen tank, a host of gently beeping monitors. Another younger woman in plainclothes—his overnight aide who sleeps in the guest bedroom—peers at me over the top of the book she’s reading. The sight of all this medical equipment is still a little intimidating, but it reassures me to know that someone is here to help him at all hours.

“Hi, Dad. How are you feeling?” I say as I cross the room. Dad is sitting up in bed. Today must be a relatively pain-free day.

He raises his hand in a weak wave, a cluster of tubes and wires trailing from his arm. “Good afternoon, sweetheart. Tell me how you are first.”

I smile at him. He always insists upon that, no matter what. I lean down to kiss his cheek and sit in the armchair by his side.

“Well, Tate & Cane is doing great. Our stock prices are higher than they’ve been in ten years. We’ve been getting so many work offers, we’ve actually had to hire a few freelance subcontractors to pick up the slack.”

“Excellent news,” he says. “I’m so proud of you and Justin. You two kids have done more for this company than I ever dreamed. I only wish Bill had lived to see this day, but I suppose I’ll just have to tell him all about it when I get to heaven.” Then he gives me a pointed look, his thinning eyebrows slightly raised. “Do you enjoy being a CEO? I hope you’ve been taking enough time for yourself too.”

“Yes, I love it. And we try to reserve weekends for relaxing together.”

“Sounds like things are pleasant at home.”

I nod, grinning. Sometimes I still get giddy over the fact that I’m married to Justin—happily now, not just legally. “And I have a big announcement.”

“Oh?”

I lean over to take Dad’s hand and look him in the eye. “I’m pregnant.”

Joy dawns gradually over his face as the good news sinks in. “Really? You’re sure?”

“I just went to the doctor yesterday for an official test.” Usually, it’s not a great idea to announce a pregnancy so early, but a grandchild is my father’s dying wish. I can jump the gun a little bit.

“Oh, how wonderful.” He heaves a blissful sigh and there are tears shimmering in his eyes.

It’s a moment I wasn’t sure I’d ever get to have with my father, and it’s every bit as sweet and heartfelt as I imagined it would be.

“How are you feeling? And have you thought about names yet?” he asks.

“I’m feeling great; don’t worry. We figured William or Frederick for a boy, Dahlia or Susan for a girl.” It only seems right to name our baby after one of its grandparents.

Dad blinks, then laughs until a coughing fit cuts him off. “I appreciate the thought, sweetheart, but for God’s sake, don’t name the poor thing Fred. Or at least use it for the middle, not the first. That name is getting to be on the old-fashioned side these days.”

I give him a look. “And Dahlia isn’t?”

“Perhaps, but you’ll have to take that up with Justin.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I say with a chuckle. Without letting go of Dad’s hand, I pull a small, folded square of cloth from my purse. “But I’m not sure he’ll be able to think straight for a few days. He was so excited yesterday, he ran right out of the doctor’s office and bought this.”

Dad unfolds the present. It’s an infant onesie made of butter-soft, pale yellow cotton. Beaming at me, he hugs the tiny piece of clothing to his heart.

I gently squeeze his free hand. “Okay, Dad, I told you how I’ve been. Now you tell me how you are.”

“Do you even need to ask, sweetheart? I couldn’t be happier.”

Blinking back tears, I reply simply, “Me too.”

Epilogue Two

Justin

I did it. I totally put a bun in her oven. I am so the fucking man. My wife is incredible, and I can’t wait to see her as a mother. Because this baby? This will make us a true family, and one I’m honored to be part of.

Even sweeter news? In an unexpected twist, we learned from Prescott that the estate attorney over my father’s will had been instructed not to tell us that the will had stipulated our shares of the company be placed in a trust if the heir clause wasn’t met within ninety days, but if we did marry and produce an heir at a later date, the shares would revert to our child. It’s an even happier happy ending. We’ve got this.

Game on.

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