#tho i know plenty of y'all follow me here too

[fitzs-trained-monkey]

Little Favors

Title: Little Favors

Word Count: I lost count

Warnings: !EXTREME FLUFF AHEAD! Y'all don't even get it. So much fluff. The only warning I can come up with is a use of the slut word and a couple innuendos because Kol. Oh, also, canon is whatever I want it to be.

Summary: You know what? Adventures in Babysitting. That's all you need to know. Let's see if you guys can spot all the places where the reader almost becomes aware of the supernatural! || Kol Mikaelson x reader || Here lies my Masterlist ||

A/N: This idea wouldn't leave me alone so here's this surprise fic in celebration of this account reaching 300 followers. Thanks to everyone who's supported me!

✨STORY BEGINS BELOW✨

"Hey, do you wanna come over for a bit?"

You sent the text and bit your lip, hoping against hope that he'd say yes. Seconds later, your phone chirped with a reply. 

"Do you even have to ask?"

A relieved smile spread across your lips.

"Yeah, still do. Thanks tho."

"See you soon, love."

You raised a brow at that.

"How soon exactly?"

His response was almost instant.

"Very."

Your head snapped up as the doorbell rang through your house. How was he always doing that? If you didn't know better, you'd think your friend was the Flash or something. Peeling yourself off the couch, you wandered over to the front door and threw it open. There, standing on your front porch, putting away his earbuds was the most handsome boy alive - or at least within the tiny town of Mystic Falls. You leaned your head on the door and lifted a brow.

"So what's your excuse this time?" You asked, suppressing a smirk. Kol just chuckled, dragging a hand through his slightly damp hair. Good heavens, he was hot when he did that. The sight set off a round of butterflies in your stomach. 

Kol Mikaelson had moved into town with his family about two months earlier. He was a senior at your high school, along with his younger sister, Rebekah. They were Irish twins or something - you didn't quite know the specifics. Of course, in a town as tiny as yours, Kol and his family quickly became the talk of the town and despite not being one for drama, even you could admit that there was plenty to talk about. The family was English, and wealthy and all of them were outrageously attractive. Honestly, your first thought about them had been something along the lines of: "What kind of wacky Twilight crap is this?" It was so weird and, as ashamed as you were to admit it, you had avoided the new kids at first.

Such a course of action had been extremely difficult, primarily because you shared four classes with Kol and he'd been seated next to you in all of them. What are the odds, right? But, wait, it gets worse! Every day, when you say down, Kol would greet you with a smile and attempt to start a conversation. With dark hair, amber eyes, and a square jaw - not to mention that crooked smirk - the guy was so gorgeous, you didn't even know what to do. Intimidated by his status, his good looks, and his excellent sense of humor, you just tried your best to pretend he didn't exist.

Well, it hadn't taken him long to get fed up with that act. So one day you'd walked in to see a note sitting on your desk. It was addressed to you and written in perfect cursive, because of course his handwriting had to be impeccable too. The note read: "Dearest Y/N, I'm sorry I exist. If there's anything else I've done to offend you, then you have my sincerest apologies. Now, will you please stop acting like you've seen me commit murder? I'd really appreciate it. Your neighbor, Kol." Unable to contain your laughter, you'd started a timid conversation with Kol and the two of you had hit it off pretty quickly after that.

You'd learned that Kol and his sister were simply two really nice kids just doing their best to fit in at a new school, nothing more than that. As you got to know him a little better, it surprised you that Kol desired you to be his friend. He was intelligent, talented, and beyond attractive - one of those instant popular kid types - he could have been friends with anyone, yet he chose you. No one ever chose you. Ever. You had spent your high school carrier being invisible, and you were good at it! So when the most attractive guy in the twelfth grade started hanging out with you, people started paying attention and rumors got rolling pretty quickly.

Were you dating Kol Mikaelson? That was the question everyone at school was trying to answer. To be perfectly honest, you had no idea. He'd asked you to hang out a few times at different places around town, but he'd never labeled it as an actual date. And sure, he flirted with you quite a bit but that boy flirted with just about everything with a heartbeat! As far as you were aware, he only liked you as a friend which was exactly why you were trying hard to hide your nerves right now.

"I know it's crazy, but I swear I was right around the corner when you texted," He said.

You narrowed your eyes. "Doing what, exactly?"

"Just walking." He shrugged, burying his hands in his pockets. "Trying to clear my head."

"Really?" You scoffed. "In the snow?"

He rolled his eyes. "It's barely snowing, but yes."

You hummed. "Right…"

"It's the truth, love," Kol said. He rubbed his eyes.

"Uh, huh."

"I'm being completely honest!"

"You better be," You said, grinning. "Otherwise, the only sane conclusion I can come up with is that you're stalking me."

"As gorgeous as you are darling, that's not the case." Kol snickered and stepped forward, leaning his weight against the door frame. He crossed his arms, looking down at you with those droopy, amber puppy-dog eyes that you'd been in love with for as long as you'd known him.

You swallowed thickly. That position perfectly accentuated his lithe body, for a high schooler, the guy was insanely well built. Ugh! And those eyes! Those eyes made you want to throw yourself at him or disappear and you didn't know which one.

"Well, good. 'Cuz that would be creepy," You replied a little quietly. Kol hummed and nodded.

"So…" He trailed off and leaned closer almost conspiratorially. "Do I get to ask why you invited me over to your house on a Friday night?"

You tugged on a loose strand of hair, twisting it around your finger. "I mean, you are kinda the only friend I've got…" The only other person you'd consider a friend was Matt Donovan and the two of you really weren't close.

"I know." He smirked. Oh, he really wasn't making this easy on you.

"So I thought I might ask for your help?"

Kol wet his lips and tilted his head innocently. Geez, he was so much taller than you. "With what, exactly?" He asked.

You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and cleared your throat. "W-well my parents aren't home and-"

His brows shot up and he blinked. "I don't believe this…" A slow impish grin spread across Kol's face and he leaned closer, eyes raking your body as he loomed over you. "Y/N, are you propositioning me?"

If you had been drinking water, you would have done a spit take. You felt like your whole body was blushing and you might as well have looked at Medusa for how still your limbs became. "N-no! Uh… I-I-I… um…" What were you even supposed to say to that? Why did he have to be so attractive?! It really wasn't fair!

"Are you sure?" He asked, stepping that much closer. "Because I certainly wouldn't be opposed to it." You thought you saw Kol glance down at your lips, but you must have been imagining things. 

You twisted the fabric of your shirt between your fingers, struggling to find something intelligent to say. "That-that's not… I mean, that's not what I-" You sighed. "This would be a lot easier to explain if you came inside." You opened the door wide so he could come in, but he hesitated.

Kol raised a brow, almost surprised. "You want me to come in?" 

"Yeah," You mumbled. "Is that a problem?"

"Not at all." He shoved himself off the door frame and stepped inside, closing the door behind him. You stepped back a good four feet, trying to dispel some of the tension. He glanced over his shoulder, gesturing at the coat rack behind him. "Mind if I-"

"Yeah, sure."

He shot you a little smile and stripped his jacket off before hanging it on the coat rack. He must have noticed your bare feet because he took off his shoes too, kicking them next to the door. Then he turned back to you and cocked his head. 

"So, your parents aren't home…" He started.

"Nope." You shook your head. You couldn't seem to stop blushing. What was your problem?

Kol nodded, rubbing his lower lip with his thumb. "It's just you and me then?" He asked, taking a step closer to you again. His eyes were slightly hooded and there was something in them that you'd never seen before. It was… admiring, bordering on hungry. 

You shot him a nervous smile. "Well… not exactly…"

His brows drew together and he lifted his head a little. "What do you mean? Who else is here?" His voice was calm enough but he seemed almost suspicious. You didn't have time to wonder why.

"Meow, Meow!" 

The high-pitched whine came from just behind you and his eyes flew wide. You smiled sheepishly and slid one step to the side. The boy dropped his gaze down to your feet. Sitting on the floor, poised exactly like a little kitten, was your baby sister. The two stared at each other for a moment before Kol threw his head back and laughed. It was a vibrant, sincere sound, full of light-hearted mirth. He doubled over, bracing his hands on his knees. Clearly, he found this situation rather humorous. 

"I'm sorry…" You hissed, biting your lip.

Kol waved a hand. "Don't be! It's completely fine." He tilted his head and knelt to be closer to the little girl's height. "Hey there, little one! How are you?"

"Meow! Meow!" Your baby sister responded. 

You nodded and shrugged. "This is my baby sister. Her name's Nora and she's a two and a half year old menace to society."

Kol snorted. "I don't know about that, darling. She looks pretty harmless to me." He waved at the little girl and she recoiled, hiding behind your leg.

"Meow, meow! Meow, meow!" She said, pretending to tremble. This was her newest little game. 

You sighed. "She's also a cat."

"Ah! I see," The boy hummed, keeping his eyes fixed on the little girl. He must have known she wanted the attention. "Is your big sister right? Are you a kitten?"

Nora nodded. "Meow, meow!"

"Oh, alright then. So, if you're a little kitten, then you'll probably want to sniff my hand so we can become best friends. Isn't that right?" He held his hand out as one does for a cat or dog. You raised a brow as you watched your baby sister crawl over to him. She sat up when she reached his hand and grabbed it, bumping her nose against his knuckle. Then she flipped it over and rubbed his palm against her cheek. He chuckled. "Hello, Nora."

"Purrr. Purrr." She said.

Kol grinned. "Awww! You're a cute little kitty-cat! Aren't you?" He scratched her chin a little bit before scooping her up so he could stand. 

"Careful," You warned. "She'll lick you too."

The instant you spoke, Nora stuck her little tongue out and licked his cheek. He blinked and you pinched the bridge of your nose, groaning. Much to your surprise, Kol didn't so much as frown. He just laughed, shrugging.

"Still better than, Henrik!" He concluded, wiping his face with the edge of his sleeve. You regarded him questioningly and he nodded, explaining. "Henrik was my youngest sibling. When he was this young, he was convinced he was a wolf cub. He would bite your legs, he would bite your fingers, and he would bite your face - it stopped being cute rather quickly."

You snickered, relaxing a bit. "Is Henrik much younger than you?" You wondered.

Kol's face fell and he rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, no, actually… Henrik, um… He-he passed away some time ago," He said.

"Oh." You whispered, fixing your eyes on your feet. You were such an idiot! "I-I'm really sorry, Kol. That was a stupid thing to ask."

He shook his head. "No, it wasn't. I wouldn't have raised the topic if I couldn't handle the questions it was bound to insight."

Wow... He was really well spoken… His voice sounded like a snowfall: gentle, playful, and pure.

You blinked. "O-oh, okay. Um, well I'm sorry I asked you over here then."

The boy sent you a quizzical look. "Why?"

"I mean, it's not for fun," You pointed out, scuffing your toe against the floor. "My parents left me in charge but this time I just need a little bit of help entertaining and wrangling them…"

Kol tilted his head as Nora cuddled up against his shoulder. "Them?" He asked. Your sheepish smile doubled in intensity and you let go of a nervous chuckle. 

"Y/N! WHY ARE YOU FLIRTING WITH THE PIZZA GUY?!" A shrill voice pierced the air from one of the upstairs rooms. You flinched and Kol's face filled with understanding.

"Ah…" He nodded. "So, there's two of them…"

"Unfortunately…" You sighed, then took a deep breath. "I'M NOT FLIRTING AND HE'S NOT THE PIZZA GUY! NOW, GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE!" The boy in front of you flinched and you sent him an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, Kol. She's eleven and I swear this is the only way to communicate with her."

"YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME, Y/N!" Your sister screamed down.

Kol glanced up there and huffed a laugh.

You sighed again. "I am so, so sorry."

"No, no, darling, it's fine. Seriously, stop apologizing!" He said. "You just shocked me is all. I guess I figured that screaming at one another was only the default language in dysfunctional families like mine."

The relief that flooded your body was palpable. "Really?"

"Of course," He assured you. "In fact, watch this." He shifted a hand to cover Nora's ear - the one that wasn't tucked into his shoulder - and looked up. "ACTUALLY, SHE IS THE BOSS OF YOU, UNTIL YOUR PARENTS GET HOME! SUCKS TO BE YOU, LOVE!  SO WHY DON'T YOU QUIT WAILING LIKE A BANSHEE AND COME SAY HI!" He finished shouting and shot you a wink.

You smirked, crossing your arms. "That was impressive." 

"Thank you."

A moment later a petite H/C girl came bounding down the stairs. She swung her weight around the banister and stopped right in front of Kol, staring up at him with scrutiny. She put her hands on her hips and spun to face you.

"Is this the boyfriend you wish you had?" She demanded.

You slid your tongue over your teeth, reminding yourself of all the reasons you shouldn't deck a child. "Ainsley," You addressed with a razor-sharp smile. "This is my friend Kol. He's gonna help me take care of you and Nora tonight."

Ainsley shot him a dirty look and turned to you. "I don't need another babysitter, I've already got you."

"Well that's a shame, because I'm not leaving for the whole night," Kol said, smirking. "And I'm afraid you got it wrong, sweetheart." He gestured to you. "See, she's the girlfriend I wish I had."

You flushed and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear - it was a nervous tick. Ainsley spun back to face him.

"You talk funny," She declared. 

"Ég get talað fyndnara," He told her with a smug smile. The foreign syllables rolled off his tongue effortlessly - almost like he'd been born speaking them. What language was that? The rough sound of it made your stomach attempt gymnastics.

Whatever it was, it made Ainsley giggle. "You're weird!" She said.

"Why thank you, love." He held onto Nora and dipped into a flourishing bow for her and she laughed again, clapping.

"Wanna come see my dinosaurs?" She asked him, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet. "They're in my room!"

The enthusiastic gasp he made for her was very convincing as he placed a hand over his heart. "Oh, wow. I would love to come see your dinosaurs, Ainsley. But is it okay if I talk to your sister for just a second first?"

"Okay." She shrugged. "I'll go get 'em ready!" 

"Alright! You go do that and I'll be right up," He said. Ainsley squealed with glee and rushed back upstairs again. You watched her go for a moment before turning back to Kol.

"That was actually amazing," You marveled, staring at him with wide eyes.

He shrugged. "That was nothing, I-"

"No, no. You don't understand," You cut him off. "Ainsley hates everyone."

"Everyone?"

"Everyone!" You stressed. "She's at that stage where she knows everything about everything all the time so when she doesn't know someone she hates them and if they're in on her act, she hates them. In other words-"

"She hates everyone," He finished, nodding. "Bekah did the same thing, except she never grew out of it."

"I pity you."

"You should." Kol flashed you a grin and adjusted Nora in his arms. She made that little purr noise of hers and nuzzled him. He shrugged. "What can I say? The ladies love me."

You huffed a laugh and shook your head, focusing on the floor. "You don't have to stay if you don't want to," You said quietly.

The boy frowned. "What are you talking about, darling?"

"Well, I just-" You'd definitely made this seem like something it wasn't. Would he be mad? "I-I mean, you're not like… disappointed, are you?"

"Disappointed?" He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Darling, I get to avoid my family and spend time with a beautiful girl. Why on earth would I be disappointed?"

Because for a second there you acted like you wanted me…

You pushed that thought away and shrugged, rubbing your arm. "I don't know… I-I thought-

"Woah, woah, sorry to cut you off, love. But what happened to your hand?" He demanded. You hardly blinked and Kol had somehow crossed the room. He was standing right in front of you, only inches away. You jumped as he reached to take your hand. "Easy! Easy now! I just want to look at it," He said. You bit your lip as Kol gently took your hand.

He trailed his fingertips over the reddened, burned skin, just barely skimming over the marks. Pain flared up in each one despite his best efforts and you hissed, snatching your hand away. 

"Darling, what happened?" He pressed, a little more urgently. "Did someone do this to you?" Something flashed in his eyes, something more than the usual mirth or amusement he offered you. It was intense yet soft.

"No, I, uh… I burned myself making muffins," You admitted. "It's fine. I'll be fine."

"This is why you wanted my help, isn't it?" He asked, the way he regarded you made you pretty sure he doubted your tough facade. "Because it hurts more than you let on?"

You sighed. "I didn't treat it right originally and now it's coming back to haunt me," You confirmed.

"I see." Kol raised your injured hand to his lips and pressed a feather-light kiss to one of the few unburned areas. "Tell you what, I'll help you with your sisters - entertain them, and get them to bed - then I'll help you dress and wrap that properly, alright?" He offered.

You shook your head, trying to laugh his kindness off. "You don't have to do that."

"I know," He responded. "But I'm going to anyway." Then he leaned down and planted a sweet kiss on your forehead, shooting you a smug and very knowing smirk before turning and climbing the stairs after Ainsley. "Alright! Let's see those dinosaurs!"

You followed him up and pointed the way to Ainsley's room. She sat there on the floor surrounded by dozens of tiny dinosaur figurines no bigger than an inch. Kol knelt next to her, carefully avoiding crushing any of them. 

"Wow, these are exquisite, darling," He said, picking one up to examine it. "The details are stunning. Where did you get them?"

Ainsley beamed. "I made them!"

Kol shook his head. "Nah."

The girl frowned. "I made them out of clay," She insisted. 

"No, you didn't."

"I did so!"

"You did not! There's no way you made these, they're just too fantastic," He teased, shooting you a wink while your sister wasn't looking. You chuckled and rolled your eyes at his antics. 

"I'm not lying!" Your sister rounded on you. "Y/N, tell Kol I'm not lying!" She demanded.

He turned to you expectantly and you shrugged. "She's not lying."

Kol's surprise was extremely convincing, even to you. "I can't believe this! Ainsley, darling, your work is fantastic!"

The little girl smirked and glanced back at you, waggling her brows as if she'd won some sort of competition. You took a deep breath, running your tongue over your teeth.

"Ainsley, are you gonna tell him all their names?" You prompted. You didn't miss the grimace that flashed across Kol's face at your words. There were so many little dinosaurs, that naming all of them would take a while. 

"Not all of 'em." Ainsley shook her head. "Just my faves."

"You do that," You encouraged with mock enthusiasm. Kol shot you a look that reminded you a bit of a captive being made to walk the plank and you just smirked.

The girl picked up each one to introduce them individually. "This one's Diplodocus, this one's Deinonychus, this one's Ankylosaurus, this one's Baryonyx, this one's Compsognathus, this one's Archaeopteryx, this one's Dilophosaurus, this one's Coelophysis, and this one's a T-Rex!" She announced with pride.

"Ah, I see." Kol took that last figurine from her, inspecting it. "Now, I can't say that I'm familiar with most of those names you listed, but I do know this one. In fact, I went to go see the first skeleton of one ever found in a museum a while back!"

"Wow!" Ainsley gasped. "How big was it?"

"Colossal!" He exclaimed. "I think one could eat you in one bite. Om nom nom!" He reached up and chased Ainsley with the figurine she'd given him.

"Ah no! I don't wanna be eaten!"

"Too bad, love. The T-Rex has other plans."

"Oh." She dropped to the ground and started twitching. "Bleh! I'm dead."

Kol laughed and glanced back at you, grinning wide. "So, now that this one's dead, Y/N, when do I get to see your bedroom?" His tone was perfectly innocent but the expression he wore was anything but. His eyes skimmed over your figure and you realized you were wearing your slightly revealing pajama shorts. You knew you were blushing and he seemed excessively pleased with himself as you struggled to find something to say.

"Hey! I'm not really dead," Ainsley complained. "I was just pretending!"

Kol winked at you and turned back with an incredulous expression. "Really? Oh wow, that was extremely convincing. You should become an actor."

"Maybe I will!" Ainsley grinned, picking herself up off the floor. "Oh, and you can keep that by the way."

"I can keep this?" He affirmed, holding the T-Rex figure. Ainsley nodded. "Thank you! What an honor, lovely. I will cherish this gift for all my days." He stood and ruffled the little girl's hair in a casual gesture, but Ainsley didn't seem to like it very much. She recoiled from his touch like she'd been burned, jumping back and slapping his hand away with a yelp. She drew away from him, wrapping her arms around herself.

"Y-you're cold," She hissed, regarding him with a suddenly distrustful glare. 

Kol was quick to back off. His brows drew together and he raised his hands non-threateningly. Confusion swam in his deep brown eyes. "Am I?" He wondered. He held his hand out to you.

You didn't feel anything out of the ordinary. His hands were soft and you supposed they were a little cool, but not cold. Not odd. A thin scar bisected his palm diagonally and you wondered where he'd gotten it. You shook your head. "Ainsley, what's wrong?"

"He's cold!" She insisted. "Don't you feel it?"

You shrugged. "He feels fine to me and Nora seems pretty chill." The toddler was still sitting cozy in Kol's arms, meowing happily. "Maybe you're coming down with something?" You suggested. 

She just crossed her arms and huffed, glaring at Kol. You glanced at him and he shrugged, scratching his neck. The atmosphere in that room was incredibly awkward for a solid minute before you cleared your throat. 

"Who wants to play a game?" You asked, desperate to clear the tension. One could have cut it with a knife. 

Kol raised his hand. "I'm up for it! Ainsley?"

She scowled. "Do I have to?"

You sent her another sharp, forceful smile. "Heck yeah, you do, sunshine."

The little girl lifted a brow in challenge, putting her hands on her hips. "What's in it for me?" She demanded.

"Ah yes, the negotiator," Kol snickered. You sent him a scathing look and he quickly tried to cover his laughter with a cough.

"We can watch a movie after," You decided, turning your attention back to your sister. She hummed and pretended to inspect her fingernails - you were pretty sure she'd seen that on TV somewhere. Annoying as she was, that little brat was going places. "I'll let you pick?" You offered.

She flicked her eyes up to yours. "Emperor's New Groove?"

"Whatever you want," You sighed, rubbing your temple with your good hand. Kol was still trying ridiculously hard not to laugh.

"What about your hand, Y/N?" Ainsley asked, grinning like a satisfied Cheshire cat. "How will you play with us?"

You glanced down at the flaming red and pink marks that crisscrossed your fingers and palm, stretching up to your wrist. They stung and burned on their own, moving just made them worse. You frowned. "I guess I'll just have to watch you guys play."

"Oh, that's too bad." She didn't mean that one bit and you had to lean back against the door frame to keep yourself from throttling her. Ainsley shot you one last devilish smirk before rounding on Kol. "Do you know how to play Gin?"

"As a matter of fact, I do," He said, smiling amusedly. "Is that what you'd like to play?"

She nodded vigorously and swiped a deck of cards off her bedside table. "I'm gonna kick your butt!" She giggled.

"Is that so?" He hummed, shooting you a grin. You sent him a thankful one in return.

Nora sat up against his shoulder. "What about me? I wanna play!" She whined.

"But if course!" Kol exclaimed. "You're going to be on my team and help me beat your sister." 

Nora gasped and nodded. "Meow! Meow!" She chirped. Kol chuckled and kissed her forehead lightly. 

"There's a sweet little kitten."

"Why don't we go downstairs so you guys can play at the table?" You offered before they got anything started.

"That sounds like an excellent idea," He agreed. You shoved off the door frame and started for the stairs, glancing back to see Kol reach for your sister's hand. "Come on, Ainsley. I won't bite." She hesitantly took it and you turned back before he could see the smile that spread across your face.

Thirty minutes and eight rounds of Gin later and Kol seemed to be regretting his decision to play with your little sister.

"How?!" He demanded after her eighth consecutive win. "How is this possible? How are you rigging the deck when I'm the one shuffling?"

"Told you I was gonna kick your butt," Ainsley said smugly, leaning back in her chair.

"This shouldn't be statistically possible," He muttered. In his lap, Nora stood up and "pawed" at his chest, meowing in pity.

"Statistic probability does not apply when Ainsley desires to win a card game," You supplied, ruffling your sister's hair as you stood.

"It's uncanny," He agreed, nodding. You weren't aware of Kol's eyes lingering on you as you stretched, reaching your arms over your head. Wandering over to the pantry, you opted to search for a snack the four of you could enjoy during the movie.

"Say, Ainsley darling, have you ever played Poker?" Kol asked as soon as your back was turned.

"Kol!" You warned.

"Sorry, darling!" He called back. He lowered his voice to a whisper. "Wanna learn?"

You snorted and spun around on your heel. "Kol Mikaelson, you are not going to teach my little sister to play Poker!" You lectured, trying your best to contain your laughter.

"She'd be a bloody prodigy, love!" He defended. He too was struggling to keep a straight face.

"Uh, huh. A prodigy with a gambling addiction."

"A gambling addiction? With me as her mentor? Inconceivable."

"The image of you mentoring anyone terrifies me to my very core," You deadpanned. "Ainsley, go put something on and if Kol ever tries to teach you anything, run for the hills."

"Got it," She replied, hopping out of her seat and running off towards the living room.

Kol leaned against the counter, folding his arms as he watched you search for some junk food. You selected ice cream - holding the frozen tub felt glorious on your burns. His eyes never left you for a second and the faint smile he wore never faltered. You stood on your toes to reach for some bowls off the top shelf and felt your cheeks burn under his undivided attention. Setting the bowls on the counter, you took a breath in an attempt to settle the butterflies that were using your stomach as a bloody airport. If you turned to face him, you knew you'd lose your ability to speak, so you feigned nonchalance.

"You're staring," You pointed out in hardly more than a whisper. 

Kol hummed. "Am I?" 

"You are." You nodded, trying to keep your pitch from rising. "What is it back there that's got you so interested?"

You could hear the smirk in his voice. "Definitely not your legs."

His comment lit your cheeks on fire and you buried your face in your hands. Why did he have to be such a cheeky bastard?! 

You turned back to face him, biting your lip and crossing your arms over your chest. "You just can't stop yourself from making those sorts of comments, can you?" 

Kol grinned. "I don't exactly try," He said.

"Of course, you don't." You sighed, tucking a strand of hair away from your face. "And I assume you just shamelessly flirt with all your friends."

He shrugged. "Pretty much."

"Good policy." 

Especially if your intention is to keep this socially awkward bundle of anxiety guessing every second of the day…

You smiled thinly and turned back to start scooping ice cream into the bowls. You gripped the ice cream scoop in your good hand and tried to transfer some of the surgery goodness but only succeeded in pushing the tub around on the counter. The burns on your left hand flared with pain as you absentmindedly attempted to use it and you whimpered, biting your lip to keep from crying. A frustrated growl escaped you as you glared at the frozen treat. 

Kol's hand wrapped around yours, gently lifting the scoop from your grasp. "Let me help you out, love," He coaxed. His voice was as soft as snow - the kind you make angels in. 

You sighed. "I can scoop ice cream, Kol. I'm not a complete invalid," You insisted.

"I know," Kol hummed. He swept your hair over your shoulder and ran a hand down your arm. His touch felt like lightning across your skin. "But you are in a lot of pain."

You glanced at the burns covering your hand. They stung and seared constantly. "Yeah…"

"Then move over and let me help you," He pressed, leaning on the counter next to you. He stared you down and you tried your best to stay strong but those soft amber eyes drilled into yours and you lost.

"Fine!" You relented, backing off. He smirked and took over. 

"So how's the hand holding up?" Kol asked. He paused and cleared his throat. "Still the same or getting-" He cut himself off with another cough. "- getting worse?"

Your brows pulled together and you frowned. "Pretty much the same," You answered. He nodded, coughing into his sleeve a few more times. You blinked, starting to worry. "You good?" Kol sent you a thumbs up but kept on coughing. You reached up to touch his shoulder and he flinched away from you. "Kol?" You moved around to face him but he doubled over, coughing more frantically. You couldn't see his face. Was he in pain? What were you supposed to do? 

"I-I'm fine." He waved you off, straightening back up after a moment. His voice was strained and he looked extremely uncomfortable. "I'm alright."

"You don't look fine," You said.

"I-I just…" He trailed off.

"Kol?" He didn't respond.

For a moment, he just stood there, watching you. Kol tilted his head to the side slowly. His brows were furrowed but his eyes were far away and there was something in them. You didn't know exactly what it was, but it made your skin crawl. You didn't like it. He swallowed thickly, wetting his lips. His hands were wrapped around the counter's edge and his knuckles were white. Was he having a seizure or something? What was his problem? He took a shuffling step backward, blinking rapidly. 

"KOL!" You snapped your fingers in front of his face and he jumped.

"Yeah? What-what is it?" He shook his head as if trying to clear something away.

You stared at him with wide eyes. "Do I need to call 911?" You demanded, voice rising. 

"No." He shook his head. "No, it's just a-a dry throat… I'm fine. I-I can handle it."

Why did he sound like he was trying to convince himself?

You raised a brow. "You sure? 'Cuz I did not pass my CPR class…"

Kol huffed a laugh, smiling wryly though you didn't get the joke. "Yeah, I'm fine. Can we just… Can we open a window or something?"

"Uh, huh… sure." You nodded slowly, giving him a last once over to be safe. You edged over to the window above the kitchen sink and shoved it open. The air outside was freezing from the snowstorm but you could hear Kol's sigh of relief. He muttered something under his breath.

"Heilagt helvíti, ég er of svangur í þetta…"

It was that language again, the same one he'd spoken earlier. You weren't sure how you knew but you were positive of it. The way it rolled off his tongue was too natural to be something learned. It had to be a native language… But wasn't he from England?

You wandered back over to him again, more than a little worried. "You're absolutely positive you're okay?" You asked, placing a gentle hand on his arm.

He nodded and maybe you were reading too much into it but his smile seemed oddly tight, almost forced. "Of course, I am."

You bit your lip, rocking back and forth on your heels for a moment. "Do you want something to drink?" You offered.

His eyes flicked towards you for a split second. He clenched his jaw, nodding. "That would be nice. Thank you." He cleared his throat again, rubbing at his eyes.

You drummed your fingers on the countertop before grabbing a cup from the cabinet and moving to the fridge. You opened it up and glanced over the contents. "So, we got milk, orange juice, grape juice that tastes like wine, grape juice that tastes like grape juice, apple juice that Nora may or may not have attempted to chug out out the bottle, or - the good ole' family favorite - water," You listed. "What do you wanna have?"

You weren't prepared for his response. It was so quiet - hardly a whisper - and you were certain you weren't meant to hear it.

"You."

Your whole body tensed and you blushed like mad. 

"W-what was that?" You called over your shoulder. Don't turn around. Don't turn around. Don't turn around.

"I said milk is fine," He spoke up a little louder.

He lies…

Or maybe you were just going insane.

You ran your tongue over your teeth, trying in vain to calm your rapid heart rate. "Okay." You pulled the gallon of milk out of the fridge and kicked the door shut with your foot. 

"I'll put this away," Kol said once he was done with the ice cream. 

"Thanks." Yeah, your heart rate wasn't slowing down any time soon.

"Not a problem, darling." He brushed past you to tuck the ice cream away.

Once you finished pouring the milk, you turned to pass it to him. "Here's some-" The words got caught in your throat. He was standing a lot closer than you'd expected, watching you with a smirk that set your cheeks on fire. You snapped your mouth shut and just shoved the glass towards him.

"Thank you, darling." Kol took it from you, which was a relief because your hands were trembling so viciously you might have dropped it at any second. He leaned back against the counter, looking as perfect as ever and you dropped your eyes to your feet. "Are you alright, love?"

You shrugged. "Yeah, I'm okay. Why?"

"You seem rather agitated tonight - stressed," He observed.

"Well, I did burn my hand."

Kol frowned. "No, I don't think that's it."

You swallowed, your throat was suddenly as dry as a desert. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the hottest boy in a one-hundred-mile radius is standing in my kitchen drinking milk. You thought. Perhaps it would be best to tell the truth, he always seemed to know when you were lying.

"I mean, it's just that you're the best friend I've had since kindergarten," You blurted out. 

Kol raised a brow. "I am?"

You nodded. "You are. A-and I'm kinda freaking out, because we don't even know each other crazy super well and yet, here you are, at my house, helping me take care of my borderline insane sisters." You let go of a breathy laugh, though it sounded rather forced. "I know you'd probably rather be, like, anyplace else but I didn't have anybody else to call and I just want you to know how grateful I am that you came."

You hadn't realized before that exact moment that you'd never really seen Kol smile. You'd thought you'd seen it, but those glimpses had never been the real thing. When Kol smiled - really smiled - it took your breath away. It was bright and warm, the kind of smile that makes everyone else smile too.

"You don't have to thank me," He claimed with a slight shake of his head. "But I do think I know how you can repay me…"

You crossed your arms over your chest. "And how is that?"

He shrugged. "Say it again."

"Say what again?"

"That I'm your best friend."

"Really?"

He nodded enthusiastically. "I've never been anybody's best friend before."

You rolled your eyes. "I don't believe that for a second. You must have had loads of friends before you moved here."

"Not really, actually. I annoy people."

"Well, you don't annoy me. Most times."

"So that makes me your best friend?" He pressed.

You opened your mouth to say the words he so desperately wanted to hear but someone cut you off.

"WHAT'S TAKING YOU GUYS SO LONG?" Ainsley shouted from the living room.

Kol's response was immediate - premeditated even - as if he'd been waiting for her to say those words. "LEAVE US ALONE! WE'RE MAKING OUT!" He yelled back, grinning like a maniac when Ainsley started gagging obnoxiously.

You smacked your forehead and sighed. "You're gonna get me in so much trouble… and we didn't even do anything!"

"What are friends for?" He shrugged. 

"Best friends," You corrected.

"Right." He smirked. Placing a hand on the small of your back, he guided you towards the living room. You stiffened at his touch. Oy vey, you were so obvious, but you couldn't help it! Kol leaned down to your ear as you reached the living room. "Relax, darling. It's just me."

That was the problem.

"Ooh! Ice cream!" Ainsley cheered. Nora, who had been sitting on the floor, looked up from pretending to lick her arm… at least you hoped she was pretending. Both girls hopped up to take the treat.

Kol held the bowls out of their reach. "Ah! What do we say?" He asked.

"Please?" Ainsley begged with her best doe-eyes.

"Very good, darling." He passed her the ice cream. "Nora?"

The little girl reached up. "Gimmie!" She demanded.

Kol glanced at you out of the corner of his eye and you just shrugged. "I don't know where she learned that, but it wasn't me!"

He looked back down at the toddler. "I'm sort of tempted to give it to her, because that's a very assertive attitude."

"And that's bad parenting."

"He's not my dad!" Nora said. "Now gimmie!"

"You have to say please, kitten," Kol insisted.

"Gimmie it please!"

"There it is," He said.

"Now!" She commanded.

"Alright, alright!" He lowered the bowl into her greedy little hands and she squealed in delight. His gaze shifted from the toddler to you and back again. "That one's going places," He announced.

You rolled your eyes. "Tell me about it." You sat down on the couch as Ainsley started the movie and Kol moved to sit beside you. Stretching his arms and legs as he settled in, his arm just so happened to wrap around your shoulders. You smirked.

"Smooth."

"I know." He winked.

About halfway through the movie, the doorbell rang. You had no clue who it could have been as your parents weren't supposed to be back until tomorrow. Both you and Kol got up to answer it and you waved a hand.

"It's okay, I've got it," You said.

"Well I'm coming with you." You shot him a questioning look. He shrugged easily. "There are some serious creeps out there, darling. I just want you to be safe."

“Takes one to know one,” You teased, walking backward towards the door.

“Exactly,” He replied. Then his expression sobered just a little bit under the dim light of your foyer. Kol’s humor was usually arrogant or self-deprecating in one way or another but that expression told you that there was something underneath that. That boy was by no means insecure, but ego and pride aren't the same as self-esteem. His honest opinion of himself wasn’t a positive one. You didn’t like seeing that.

“I don’t know how you do it.” You rolled your eyes, chuckling. Your tone was easy because you’d never been too great with people. You always said the wrong thing when you tried to be genuine, so you favored humor instead. "How can you manage to be so egotistical while also being self-loathing, and yet secretly kind all at the same time? You’re like some wacky combination of Emperor Kuzco and Shrek."

“Oh is that what you think?” He said, shoving your shoulder playfully. Kol scrunched up his face. "I was a perfectly nice guy and they ruined my life for no reason!" He quoted in a perfect imitation of Kuzco's American accent from the movie. That sound made you uncomfortable for some odd reason.

You squirmed a little. “Okay, first that was excellent. Second, never do that again please."

“Aww! Thank you, Y/N/N. It’s always good to be appreciated,” He continued in that American accent. 

“Ewww. Staaaahhhp!” You complained with a feigned gag.

“Stop what?” He poked you in the ribs.

You jumped out of his reach, smacking his hand away. "That!"

"I have no clue what you're talking about." He cheekily grinned. Ugh! It was so cute… but the accent was still terrifying.

"That voice!"

"What? Does my impression of a stupid American bother you?" It was even more unsettling when he was insulting Americans while talking like one. He skipped ahead of you, blocking your way to the door and you laughed.

"Yes! It's gross, you're not meant to be American."

"Would you prefer Français?" He asked, switching accents. "May I offer you a baguette? Perhaps a croissant?"

You snorted. "That's worse, and culturally insensitive!" You pointed out.

"Italiano?" He waggled his eyebrows, smirking as he swapped accents again. "Rome is an impressive city."

"Ugh! No!" You cringed. The doorbell rang a second time followed by a few incessant knocks. "I know! I'm coming, keep your pants on!" You called at the door. It was only a few feet away, but Kol was blocking you.

"Wha' 'bout Sco'ish?" The boy swapped again. "Sco'ish is a'plen'y o' fun. When a true bloody Scott gets a'talkin', ya' can't even tell what them's a sayin'. I mean, is moose loose in the hoose or are ya' wantin' to go'in grabb'a bagg'a chips, pal?"

You blinked, completely clueless as to what he'd just said. "What?" You cackled, shaking your head. He spoke so rapidly, and none of his words even sounded like words. "How are you doing that?"

Kol shrugged. "Eh, I've traveled. Picking up accents is a… hobby of sorts,” He said, reverting back to his natural silk-like speech.

You narrowed your eyes, quirking a brow. "Kol?"

He hummed, tilting his head innocently. "Yes?"

"Are you stalling?"

"Nah...'Course not." His smile thinned almost invisibly. 

"Cool. Now, will you let me get to the door please?" You asked, crossing your arms.

Kol swept his tongue over his lower lip, watching you for just a moment. His expression was something soft with a twinge of fear - or at least you thought that’s what you saw, He replaced it with a smirk before you had a chance to remember it. “As you wish,” He muttered, finally moving out of your way.

“Thanks,” You said as you moved past him. You couldn't see why he was trying to stall you. Maybe this was a byproduct of having lived in such big cities as he had. Crime rates were high in places like London, Moscow, Paris, or New Orleans. You'd never had to worry about that, nothing bad ever happened in Mystic Falls. You found it sort of sweet that he was so worried though, standing directly behind you like a bodyguard as you looked through the window at who was outside. You smiled. "You can relax, man. It's just Matt."

Yet, he didn't relax. When you twisted the knob, Kol quickly wound his arm around your waist, swiftly pulling you into his side. You blushed furiously, cracking the door open just slightly to keep the warmth inside. The snowstorm had gotten significantly worse.

Matt Donovan stood on the doorstep, hands shoved in his pockets against the cold as he shivered. He didn't have the money to afford a good coat to keep him warm, but he smiled at you with more warmth than anyone else in town ever had - aside from Kol of course. He was friendly but the two of you just weren't close. The blond had only ever been your friend out of proximity. In a town as small as Mystic Falls, it's a little hard not to get to know your neighbors from across the street.

"Hey, Y/N!" His teeth were chattering violently.

"Hey, Matt! Move it or lose it 'cuz I'm closing this door," You stated dryly. Opening the front door just wide enough for him to slip inside, you slammed it shut again as soon as he was in the clear.  Kol's grip on your waist tightened as Matt stepped over the threshold and you bit your lip, pretending not to notice.

“Oh, hallelujah, it’s warm in here!” The blond-haired quarterback relaxed almost immediately once inside, closing his eyes and sighing. "You're an actual angel, Y/N/N," He said.

"Naturally, but what's the reason this time?" You smirked.

He groaned. "My payment was late by one day and the electric company shut my heat off."

You hissed in genuine sympathy. "Geez, sorry dude. That sucks."

"Tell me about it," He huffed. Matt opened his eyes and smiled at you. Then his gaze shifted to Kol and he startled, taking a step back as his eyes flew wide. "What the- Kol?" He sputtered.

Kol waved. "Hey there, mate."

Matt's face drained of color and you blinked, glancing between them. Weird.

"Y/N, what's he doing here?" Matt questioned. His tone was icier than the storm outside.

"Indentured servitude," Kol replied easily. You huffed a laugh.

"I lured him here under false pretenses and roped into doing my bidding," You explained, smirking. "Why?"

Matt's eyes remained glued to Kol. "No reason." Yeah, there was definitely a reason all right. A tense silence lingered in the air for a moment.

"So… Did you need something, Matty?" You wondered, rocking back and forth on your heels.

He blinked and shifted his attention back to you. "Yeah, no, um… yeah." He shrugged, gesturing vaguely. "I was just wondering if I could borrow your, uh, phone charger. Mine kinda… broke."

"Of course!" You chirped. "I'll go get it while you wait here, yeah?" 

"Yeah." Matt's eyes drifted back to Kol as you were speaking. You glanced back at Kol but his expression was carefully, perfectly, unreadable. What was that about?

"Okay… Right." 

Kol's arm around your waist was rigid but you tapped his hand twice and he let go. His fingers traced along your back as you moved away, pressing firmly into your skin. His hands were still cool.

You tried to shake the odd behavior off but couldn't help listening in on their conversation as you climbed the stairs.

"Speaking of things that break, how's the hand doing?" Kol asked casually. "I heard that was quite the injury you had a while back. Multiple contusions, eh? Nasty business that. Especially for a… quarterback was it?"

"Nah, I'm fine." Matt waved his hand, though his voice was oddly tense. "It wasn't as bad as it looked. Actually, I'm more interested in Y/N's hand. What happened there?"

Kol laughed, but you knew it wasn't genuine. "Ah, yes. That was a little misadventure in the noble profession that is baking, believe it or not."

"Wow, that's crazy," Matt said flatly. 'Yeah, I-I don't believe it."

"Don't you?"

"Nah."

Satisfied that their conversation seemed somewhat normal - aside from the obviously forced civility of it - you ducked into your room and retrieved your extra phone charger. You also grabbed a blanket from your hall closet because you knew Matt didn't have enough. Then you went back down the stairs. 

Your two friends were right where you'd left them. Matt was glaring daggers and Kol's smile looked a bit more like a jaguar bearing its teeth than it did an actual human expression of happiness. The animosity simmering between them was thick enough to warrant a Dr. Suess book.

"Here ya' go, Matty," You said, dropping the items into his arms. "Phone charger and a blanket because Virginia law is stupid!"

There was relief that he didn't want to show when he smiled at you. "No, no. Y/N you don't have to give me this, just the charger is more than enough."

"Well, you might as well save your breath 'cuz I'm not taking it back." You smirked.

"You're a lifesaver." He chuckled.

You winked. "I know."

He sent you a grateful smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Well, uh, thanks. Have a - have a nice night." 

"We will," Kol chimed in.

You almost missed the scowl that flickered across Matt's face, it was there for a second and gone the next. Then he turned and opened the door. You held it open as he stepped out, Kol trailing your steps like a shadow. His arm wound itself securely around your waist again, squeezing lightly for a moment. The gentle pressure made you dizzy, but it was gone just as quickly - you must have imagined it. 

"I guess I'll see you later," Matt said with a small wave. You flashed him a smile.

"See ya." You expected him to just go, and he moved to leave, but he stopped. Just as you were closing the door.

"Y/N!" He called out at the last second. 

You cracked the door open just enough to enable conversation. Kol's fingertips pressed in at your waist just slightly more - almost possessively… but that was just ridiculous. Right? You shook the thought away.

"Yeah?"

The blond's eyes flicked to Kol one last time before landing on yours. There was something in them, it was desperate but reserved. Like there was something he was begging you to understand. But he didn't tell you what it was. He just said:

"Stay safe." 

You nodded. "O'course." 

Then he turned his collar up against the wind and stalked away through the snow. You thought you saw him shake his head as you closed the door. How odd.

You hadn't realized you were holding your breath until the door clicked shut and you released it, leaning your head against the wood. 

"That was so weird," You mused, just trying to make sense of it. "What's his problem, am I right?" You huffed breathily. Kol just shrugged.

"I haven't the faintest," He replied, shaking his head. "Vicious small town paranoia perhaps?"

"Maybe, I guess." You shook your head, baffled. "But Matt's usually just nice to everyone." You stood there, worrying your lip as you tried to puzzle it out to no avail. Your friend pulled you away from the door and your thoughts a moment later.

"Really?" Kol's arm around your waist dropped lower, his hand resting like a ghost's on your hip as he accompanied you back towards the living room. "That's the strangest thing. He's always just seemed to hate me. I don't even know what I did!"

"Huh. Weird." You gave up on trying to figure it out and shrugged. Returning to your place on the couch to continue the movie, Kol once again took up the spot next to you but he didn't let go. He leaned back and took you with him, holding you close as he guided you to lay across his chest. You were hesitant to curl up with him. What if you were misinterpreting this? Your fears were quickly swept away, however, when you felt him tug your body closer.

"What are you, a stiff?" He chuckled, tucking your head under his chin. "I want you to lay down, love. Now, come here." He dragged you closer and this time you went with him, letting yourself get comfortable. Kol pressed a sweet kiss to the crown of your hair and you shivered.

Holy crap, this was a cuddle.

Kol was cuddling you. 

Your cheeks flared unreasonably warm and you prayed for him not to notice your heart racing faster than a rabbit's. He probably would, you could certainly feel it. 

"What's this for?" You wondered, trying not to let your voice tremble. You thought you did rather well.

"Mmm. You're warm," Kol mumbled into your hair blissfully, curling himself around you a little. 

"Well I have other blankets, you know," You pointed out, snickering. The boy's hand found your good one and tangled your fingers together.

"True," He acknowledged. "But none of them would be near as effective."

"How do you figure?" 

He shrugged a little, rubbing circles into the back of your hand with his thumb. "Well, the average human's standard body temperature is ninety-eight degrees and there's two of us. Add that together and that makes one hundred and ninety-six degrees. Simple!"

You snorted. "Yeah, well I'm ninety-eight percent sure that's not how that works."

"Of course that's how it works!" He scoffed. 

"You guys are gross," Ainsley muttered, shaking her head.

"Meow, meow!" Nora climbed up onto Kol's lap and curled up into a little ball, clearly not at all bothered.

"Plus a cat," Kol added. "That makes two hundred and ninety-four degrees."

"You're full of it," You sighed.

"Oh absolutely."

By the time the movie was over, Nora was fast asleep and Ainsley was well on her way there. Kol, you were pretty sure, was two and a half sheets to the wind himself and, if you were being completely honest, you too could feel the figurative wall approaching fast. Yet, you didn't want to move. You were beyond comfortable just where you were. Too bad your absolutely platonic cuddle puddle couldn’t last.

You knew this crush on him was stupid. You knew that.

You weren't a fool. Kol was your closest friend and you knew his reputation better than anyone. The boy was a troublemaker and a notorious flirt - a well-warranted reputation. The number of girls you knew he'd slept with was too high to count, not to mention all the others you had no clue about because you weren't exactly what one might call in the loop. Sure, all those other girls were complete sluts anyway, but that wasn't the point.

The point was, that wasn't you.

You may have been a nobody, but at least you had no delusions about becoming something more - someone popular. You didn't want attention and you didn't need it. Especially not from a hundred or so underage wannabes with self-esteem issues. No thanks! 

You weren't going to throw your dignity away just because Kol or any other boy wanted something. You were worth more than that and you knew it. You weren’t going to lower your boundaries for anyone and you knew Kol knew that already.

So why did he put up with you at all?

See, that was the question that had you doubting. You meant nothing to anyone. No one would care if he screwed you over - doing so wouldn't bring him any sort of sick praise or status, though he didn’t seem to crave those things like every other high schooler did. So why make the effort to talk to you? Why would he go out of his way to help you tonight if he didn't care at least a little bit?

This was all so confusing. You didn't want to think about it anymore.

"Look at that, bedtime," You announced quietly. Kol stirred underneath you and you sat up, raising a brow as he rubbed at his eyes.

"I wasn't sleeping," He claimed, jabbing a finger at you. 

You snickered. "Yeah, yeah… just resting your eyes, right?"

"Exactly." He grinned. You rolled your eyes and detangled yourself from the boy's arms, much to his disappointment.

"You know who's not resting her eyes though…" You trailed off, tapping Ainsley on the shoulder. She slapped your hand away drowsily. 

"Iss' not bedtime… I’m-I'm not tired," She protested, slurring.

"Liar." You smirked. "Come on, you gotta get up so you can go to bed."

"I'll sleep here," She argued.

"No, you'll sleep in your bed."

"Too late."

You grimaced and Kol spoke up from behind you, tapping Ainsley's leg.

"Come now, love," He urged. "Don't make me carry you."

She shook her head. "You can't carry me, I'm a big girl."

"I can and I will," He warned.

You sighed. "Kol, don't. You'll hurt yourself."

"Oh, how wrong you are, darling," He whispered into your ear. You blinked, startled by his sudden proximity.

He settled his hand on your back and rubbed a few comforting circles before slowly, experimentally, sliding it lower. His fingertips danced along your spine, down to the base where he stopped.

Kol lifted his hand away and adjusted his grip on Nora who he had already scooped up. Holding her in one arm, he bent down and used his shoulder to hoist Ainsley up too. She naturally wrapped her arms and legs around him like a little Koala so that probably made things easier. Though it made it no less surprising to you as he began climbing the stairs a minute later with little to no effort. Together, Ainsley and Nora must have weighed about a hundred pounds and Kol wasn’t an athlete as far as you knew. So where the hell was he pulling that kind of strength from? You shut your gaping mouth and followed after them.

You arrived on the second floor just in time to watch Kol tuck Ainsley into her bed, covering her with a few extra blankets in light of the winter storm. Nora hadn't woken despite being moved and she was quickly tucked in a well. 

"Meow, meow," She mumbled.

You offered Kol a smile from your position in the hallway and he just rolled his eyes, turning out their lights as he shut their bedroom door.

"That was adorable," You voiced under your breath. 

"I bet," He hummed. "Your turn, darling. Let's go fix that hand."

You groaned. You'd been dreading this the whole night. What if treating your burns made them hurt worse? Wouldn't they just go away on their own after a while?

"What if I changed my mind about that?" You tried, lamely attempting to hide your burned mess of a hand behind your back. 

He shot you a very pointed smile. "Not an option, sweet thing. Now, where do you keep your first aid kit?"

"My bathroom," You sighed, pointing. 

"Thank you." He placed his hands on your shoulders and pushed you along though you didn't exactly fight him. You just complained more than anything.

"My body, my choice right?" You huffed, walking through your bedroom doorway and immediately turning to enter the bathroom. 

"In any other scenario, absolutely." The boy smirked, closing the door. "Unfortunately this is not any other scenario and you will take care of your body even if I have to do it for you."  

You huffed and rolled your eyes. Using your good hand, you hoisted yourself up to sit on the counter. "This is gonna hurt, isn't it?" You asked wearily, watching him search for the first aid kit.

"Just a little bit," He assured, pulling the kit out of the towel closet. He opened it up and started rummaging through the thing.

“You lie.” You deadpanned.

“Indeed,” He hissed, offering you a sympathetic smile. “Just trying to ease your nerves, love.”

"I think this is a violation," You grumbled.

“Well, in that case, shame on me," He replied cheerfully. The boy grabbed a spray of some kind out of the kit and held it in one hand, offering the other to you. "Might want to hold onto something for this next bit."

You were in no way prepared for the pain that came next. Kol sprayed the chemical solution on your arm and you bit back a scream. The burns stung. Your eyes welled with tears and you kicked your legs out, nearly crushing the poor guy's hand in your grip. He tried his best to keep you calm, muttering encouragement the whole time while you verged on hysteria.

"Kol? Kol, that hurts! Please don't do that, it hurts!" You hated letting anyone see you cry, but this was the most pain you'd endured in years. "Kol, please? Please, it hurts so bad. Just stop. Kol please stop!" You sobbed quietly. 

From the expression on your friend's face, you would have thought that hearing your pleas hurt him as much as your burns hurt you. He looked guiltier than you'd ever felt.

"Shhhhhh, shhhhhh. Darling, it's alright," He soothed. "I'm almost done. Just a few more seconds, love. You're doing so well." His voice was shaking. You blinked away tears but they seemed incessant on falling. "There, that part's finished," He breathed what felt like an eternity later.

You choked down another sob and focused on your breathing. The scorching sting in your arm began to fade bit by bit as Kol pulled out bottles of aloe and antibiotics. He sighed deeply, unable to meet your eyes.

"I'm just trying to help you," He said quietly. "I'm sorry I caused you so much pain."

You nodded, slightly more rational now. "If not you then it would have been someone else later and that probably would have hurt worse," You reasoned. Your smile was tight but genuine. "I'm kinda glad it was you. I probably would have Spartan kicked anyone else."

"I'm honored," He snickered. Kol grew quiet as he shifted his attention to gently applying the aloe and antibiotic onto each of the burn marks. He was very careful and extraordinarily gentle as he wrapped the area in bandages. 

"Where'd you learn how to do this?" You wondered, watching him with fascination.

The boy smirked, shrugging. "I was a dumb kid," He admitted. "Got hurt a lot." He secured the outermost layer with a few hooks and sighed. "There, almost as beautiful as you."

You rolled your eyes. "Kol Mikaelson, are you flirting with me or yourself?" You demanded, feeling uncharacteristically bold.

"Definitely you." The boy's lips twitched up into a crooked smile, as he leaned against the counter next to you. “I have been for quite awhile. Would’ve thought you’d notice.”

You blushed, bowing your head to avoid his amber eyes. "Believe me, I’ve noticed…” You hesitated, forcing a laugh. “I’ve watched you flirt with everyone."

"I know; yet, no matter what I try, I just keep on running back to you. It’s the strangest thing. Anyone else and I’ve never looked back or looked twice. But when it’s you, I can’t seem to stop myself… and I don’t think I want to.”

Your lips pressed into a thin line and you shook your head. “Kol, d-don’t do that. Please? Don’t make me sound like… like…”

He tilted his head. “Like what?”

“Like…I-I don’t know!  Like something I’m not!” You scowled.

“Like special?”

You froze. Suddenly you didn't feel so bold anymore. He was so close to you, hardly an inch away. Your throat felt too dry to talk. 

“Yeah.” You looked up, nodding. “I don’t like liars, I-I can’t stand a liar, Kol. So just-just stop, okay? This here, w-what you’re doing right now, it-it isn’t funny.”

The boy frowned. “No, darling, I’m not-”

“Not what?” You interrupted. “Not trying to chat me up? Make me feel all special just because my parents aren’t home and you think that means I’ll make some sort of exception for you? Well, the answer is no. I guess this is what I get for choosing the wrong friends.” You tried to hop off the counter, but Kol stepped closer to you, positioning himself to stand between your legs.

“That’s not what this is,” He said. Kol leaned closer, resting his hands atop the counter on either side of you. “Darling, I’m not trying to hurt you.”

You rolled your eyes, trying to fight off the blush invading your cheeks. “Right. As if there’s any other reason someone like you would ever acknowlage someone like me. I’ve never qualified as special in my entire life.”

"I don't think that's true," He murmured, sweeping your hair over to one shoulder. "I tend to avoid ordinary people." 

"Then why are you here?" You demanded in a dry, derelict whisper. 

His brows pulled together and he frowned slightly, but it wasn't directed at you. "There's… a lot of reasons, I think," He said. "I-I'm not all that good at telling the truth, especially when that truth envolves… well… me. But-" His voice trailed off and he swallowed thickly, seeming almost pained.

"What?"

His lips twitched up into a nervous smile as he glanced away. “You mean more to me than anyone else becasue when I’m around you I don’t feel alone. I feel at peace. My world has been crashing down around me for as long as I can remember and I’ve always been running, or hiding, or fighting for my life. But when I’m around you and you’re happy, you-you smile at me and I can pretend that-that I’m normal and that everything’s alright.” He bowed his head, smiling thinly. “I’ve always hated depending on anyone for anything, but when I’m holding you, things calm down. Its quiet wherever you are and I can just live in that moment, where the only thing you ask of me is the very thing I want.” Kol looked up at you through his lashes and you could never resist those soft amber eyes. “Why would I seek the company of anyone else when I know you’re the only one who’s ever sought mine? Darling, it’s not your body that I want… well, it is but-” He cut himself off with a sigh and a slight laugh. “What I’m trying to say is, I want you. I want you because you’re my best friend and I want more.”

You blinked. You hadn't been prepared for a full blown confession… and that one didn't sound very platonic. He had you trapped between his arms and you couldn't run even if you wanted to. But why would you? You would never run from him.

You bit your lip, there was no going back to anything if you asked what your heart wanted to know. "So, y-you really like me? As, you know, more than a friend?" Your command of the English language was legendary.

Kol grinned. "What more would you have me do? Propose?" He laughed. "Or would you prefer I just make out with you right this very second?" 

Blushing deeply, you cleared your throat and twisted your fingers together nervously. "It's not my fault… I mean, when you're a senior in highschool who's never been asked on a date, you learn to ignore anything that might be considered a hint," You admitted. "'Cuz it just never is."

"I see…" His voice trailed off. Kol paused for a moment and you felt your cheeks color as his eyes skimmed down your figure. He made a slight movement towards you but stopped and met your eyes. "May I?" He asked in a much softer tone. The playful gleam you usually found in his eyes was replaced by something much softer. It was soft like cotton; yet there was something hungry there too.

"What?" Your voice was hardly more than a whisper. 

"May I touch you?" He clarified. 

Maybe he was lying. Maybe he only wanted you for your body. Maybe he would throw you away once he realized you wouldn't give in to him like any other girl. Maybe he just wanted to use you.

But if any of that were true, he wouldn't have been there for you when you needed him. 

You smiled softly. "Yeah." He smiled.

Keeping his eyes on your face to watch for the first sign of your discomfort, he settled his hands on your waist. When he moved them, he did so slowly - achingly slowly - smoothing them tentatively, hesitantly, over your hips then lower to your bare upper thighs. You should have worn longer shorts, but you didn't object. You didn't do anything. You didn't know what to do. 

Your heart was racing and you couldn't breathe properly. 

"Do you like that?" He hummed. His lips were at your ear and you were hyper-focused on him but your brain refused to believe it.

In one swift movement, he dragged you in close - dizzyingly close - pulling you into his chest. The boy leaned down and rested his head on your shoulder, nudging his nose against your throat lightly, almost teasingly but you got the feeling that there was more to it than that. His touch felt like snow before the cold sinks in. The pressure of his fingers on your skin set your senses on fire as Kol squeezed your thighs in a gentle, precise grip. Your eyes fluttered closed. He traced his hands over your sides - up and then back down - and then Kol squeezed again. The boy's fingertips dug into the flesh of your thighs and you couldn't help the soft moan that escaped your lips. His touch felt… good. Like aloe on a burn. Yet, addicting like the rush of adrenaline. 

You nodded. "Is this real?"

His grip on your thighs tightened and he leaned in closer, skimming his lips over your throat. "Exactly how obvious do I have to make my intentions before you believe them to be genuine?" He whispered, almost pained.

"Pretty freaking obvious, apparently," You laughed. 

Then you felt it - a tiny feather-like pressure, soft and sweet against your pulse. Your breath hitched and Kol pressed his lips against your throat again - his kiss was sweeter than candy and you wanted more. You shivered and felt his lips twist into a smirk at your reaction. His nose nudged at your throat he took a deep breath, humming contentedly as he pushed a stray lock of hair out of your face.

He pulled back and captured your lips in a soft, adoring kiss. His hand slipped beneath your shirt, setting fire to your skin though his hands seemed colder than they had been a few hours ago - almost unnaturally cold. Kol broke away from your lips, smiling blissfully for a moment. When he came back again, he slid his tongue along your lower lip, asking sweetly. You granted him his request and holy criminy that boy was an insanely good kisser. Every time you flinched at something he did, he would squeeze your waist tenderly, reassuring you that he would never hurt you.

He didn't stop. With each kiss, the boy's lips lingered on your neck, savoring the sensation. "You, darling, smell divine," Kol whispered the words between kisses as though they were something he wasn't meant to tell you. After a few more sweet pecks, Kol opened his mouth and kissed you a little harder. The boy moaned a little and his mouth moved against your neck, harsher, needier. He tugged on your waist, drawing you deliciously against him and you couldn't help but gasp when you felt the tentative sweep of that boy's tongue glide along your skin. Kol shuddered and clinched your thighs; you took it he liked what he tasted.

Never.

"How's that for a hint?" He asked smugly. 

"Pretty good," You laughed, taking a moment to catch your breath. Kol pressed a kiss to your temple and pulled away. "Wait-"

"Nora's crying," He informed you.

Your face fell.

"Of course she is."

Tagging: @yn-ymn-yln @r13mar @rootbeerfaygo @iiskittles16ii @fandomrulesall-blog @dark-night-sky-99 @railingsofsorrow @apolloroid @thatweirdoleigh @misswe03 @eat-cake @felinegrate Hey, if your name isn't on here and you requested to be tagged, send me a DM to let me know! Tumblr wouldn't let me tag some people and I'm really sorry about that...

[carlsainz]

𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒊 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 – 𝒒𝒖𝒊𝒏𝒏 𝒉𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒆𝒔

summary: you're spending the summer at the hughes' lakehouse but things between you and quinn are not how they used to be.

pairing: quinn hughes x reader

requested: yes

warnings: none i think

a/n: hihi loveys, here i am with this request from oli !! i loved writing this one, hope y'all like it <3

if there are any mistakes please let me know, since it's not proofread. (just imagine THIS quinny in the cover as the quinny here)

word count: 4,7k

lowercase intended.

my requests are closed.

sitting on a chair at the huge backyard, you inhaled the clean air that you only found at the hughes' lake house. this house has always been your sanctuary in the summer, since you've been friends with the boys since childhood.

with eyes closed and lost in thoughts, enjoying the last moments of peace and quietness before everyone arrived, you didn't even notice ellen sitting beside you.

"hi honey, you ok?" she asked in a maternal tone.

"oh my god," you said, putting your hand on your chest, feeling your heart beating fast by being caught by surprise.

laughing at your reaction, ellen said "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to scare you."

"no, that's okay," you laughed too, "i was just lost in my own head, no big deal."

"you want to talk about whatever it's disturbing you?"

quickly weighing your options, you chose to talk. after all, ellen hughes has always been listening you since… well, since forever.

"there's this guy i…" you stopped and then sighed. "there's this guy i really like but i don't know if he likes me back. and i'm really confused because we had an arrangement, you know?" you were feeling your whole face burning with shame. ellen just nodded and you continued. "we spent some good months together, he's a spectacular guy. i love his friendship and company, he's the best person for a lot of things, specially marathon series with," you smiled. "as long as i want to stay with him, i know i can't take it anymore. it's too much to my heart, i can't keep hurting myself like that."

"so what did you do?"

"i told him i couldn't do this and ended that strange thing we had and he didn't say anything," you sighed. "i miss him every single day, i've been through hell to be honest. but it's for the best, i have to have some self love, right?"

"have you ever considered that this guy can like you too?"

"nah, there's no way."

"but how would you know?"

"i think if he really liked me back, he would've told me, we had plenty of time," you shrugged. "also, he could've called me or something during this time we're apart."

"oh dear," she sounded sad for you. "look, i'm not playing devil's advocate here but try to put yourself in his shoes. he can be a shy person or thinking the same way you're thinking."

"how?"

"well, he can be thinking you don't like him and never will," she started slowly caressing your back the way she always did. "that's one of the options for why he hasn't told you anything."

"i really think that's not possible but thank you for hearing me, mama hughes, i love you," you genuinely smiled this time.

"i'm here whenever you need, my dear. you just–"

she was interrupted by loud noises coming from the front of the house.

"here they are, i thought they were gonna take longer to arrive," she laughed.

"i'm glad they're here tho, they can help distract me."

"absolutely," she got up. "if you need to ask me something or just talk about what's in your head, you know where to find me."

"thank you very much," you said, getting up too.

"i love you, darling," she hugged you tightly and then headed to where the boys were gathering with all their things.

you looked at the lake one more time and followed her. as you expected, the living room was a confusion of voices and luggages. since the house was pretty big, all three boys always brought their friends to spend some time with them. jack always brings more people than anyone, he and his ntdp buddies are inseparable during summers.

this year, they were here again, of course. luke is with some of his friends from umich and quinn is alone.

quintin hughes. your guy. your best friend since forever and the boy you love for as long as you can remember. you were feeling nervous seeing him for the first time after you "broke up" with him. his hair was longer and his beard looked amazing. while looking at him, you had to tell yourself lots of times you couldn't caress his face or kiss his lips.

"earth to y/n" you heard. shaking your head to get back to reality, you looked at the person trying to talk to you.

"alex, oh my god i missed you so much!" you wrapped your arms around your best friend.

well, second best friend, since the first one is – or was – quinn.

"how are you doing, bug?"

"not so well," you replied, your voice lowering.

"that same thing?"

"yup," you let out a tired sigh. besides ellen, alex is the only one who knows everything about your situation with quinn. "but how are you? we haven't seen each other in a while, tell me everything."

turcs started telling you some basic things since you were still in the middle of the noisy living room while quinn watched from the other side of the room.

he was feeling nervous too, even more than you. as his mother said earlier, not knowing she was talking about her own son, he was, in fact, in love with you. nonetheless, he was afraid as hell of your reaction if he told you the truth. in his head, you were way out of his league. you're smart, lovely, gorgeous, funny, and a lot of other things. why would you look at him as more than a friend? besides, you've known him since you were kids and he didn't want to lose your friendship, but hey, surprise! it was ruined too now.

quinn thought he was lucky enough to have you as his friend with benefits, that thing of taking what you can. but of course it ended. he was heartbroken since the day you looked at his eyes and told you couldn't continue this. choosing to focus solely on hockey, he gave you space, not realizing you were waiting to see if he would do something different.

he was brought back to the moment at the sound of his mother's voice.

"okay everyone, enough with this mess here," she said and everyone went quiet. "let's organize the pairings to the bedrooms now."

quinn saw his mother grabbing your hand, since you were closer to her, and announce "y/n, you're with quinn this summer," she said. "i thought it was ok since you usually slept in the same bed here when you were younger?"

when he was ready to open his mouth and ask to change with someone else, you were already speaking.

"that's ok, mama hughes."

the rest of the room was clueless, except quinn and alex, of course. they were looking at you, thinking about why you did this.

the thing is, not even you know why you said it was ok. of course it wasn't, you couldn't sleep in the same bed as quinn after everything. but you'd think about it later.

ellen followed her list, designating pairs for the rooms, and soon the living room was calm again, as everyone headed to their bedrooms.

you grabbed your things, going upstairs to your bedroom while trying to distract yourself with some music you were addicted to. quickly finding the room, you put your luggage on the floor, starting to put your clothes in the wardrobe. you were in the middle of it when quinn knocked on the door and entered the room.

he looked at you and you looked at him and everything looked strange. you were dying to hug him and so was he, but you just stayed glued to the same place looking at each other. he gave you one last look with his sad eyes and closed the door behind him, going to the other side of the bed and starting to do the same as you in silence.

after some time, you couldn't take it anymore. turning around, you observed him, missing your moments more than ever.

"hi, quinny," you said in a low voice.

"hi, angel," he said in the same tone.

feeling your eyes watering, you dropped your things, going straight to him. hugging him without thinking twice, you felt the tears streaming down your face while he held you tight in his arms.

"i missed you so much," you said.

"me too, you have no idea."

"can we just pretend nothing happened?"

his heart clenched at your words but he said "of course we can, i miss my best friend."

you slowly nodded against his chest, sniffling. as much as you wanted to believe that everything would be normal again, you just couldn't feel it, everything was very weird between you. you disentangled your arms from his middle, giving him a tight squeeze, looking at his face and trying to smile. he did the same but your heart ached either way.

"well i have to finish unpacking my things," you said.

"me too, i think my mom's gonna be here soon telling us to help her."

"yeah, let's do this."

•

later that night, everyone was saying good night as, one by one, they went to their bedrooms to sleep after a long day. after you finished unpacking your things, both you and quinn went to help ellen and then spent the rest of the afternoon outside with everyone else. it was good to see your friends after so long but something seemed off and it was your relationship with quinn.

some of them noticed you weren't as close with quinn as you usually were, staying with alex more than normal when you, in other times, would be glued by quinn's side. ellen was the one who noticed more than others, naturally. she couldn't quite understand what was happening between you but she was going to find out.

going upstairs before quinn, you took a quick shower and dressed comfy to sleep. when you stepped outside the bathroom, you saw quinn closing the door, looking tired.

"hm hey, about sleeping tonight," he started. "i can sleep on the floor if you want."

"oh no, you can sleep in the bed, there's no problem."

there was a problem, but you wouldn't let him sleep on the floor.

"are you sure?"

"yeah, that's alright."

"ok, then i'm gonna take a shower."

"mhmm."

you stared at each other in an awkward silence and quinn cleared his throat. he picked some things and headed to the bathroom, while you turned the lights off, leaving only a bedside lamp on. you heard the shower noise and lay on your favorite side of the bed, thinking about this situation. in a few minutes, you'd be sleeping beside the man you love for the first time in a few months and you didn't know how to react.

not wanting to wait for him, you just turned on your side and closed your eyes, trying to sleep fast. of course it didn't happen, you only sleep fast when you're hearing nature sounds on your spotify but you didn't put them because quinn probably don't want to hear it.

the bathroom door opened and you kept your eyes closed so you didn't have to talk to quinn. you heard a heavy sight coming from him, and then some noises indicating he must be putting his things in their places. he turned the bedside lamp off, laying down. a few seconds passed and you started hearing your favorite nature sounds' album out of nowhere.

it was quinn. he remembered and put his phone between your pillows after setting the timer. you're sure you could cry just at this gesture. smiling softly, you started feeling the sleepiness already coming to you.

•

the first time you woke up, you noticed the warmth under your head. since when is your pillow so warm? with your sleepy brain not letting you care enough, you snuggled even more, going back to sleep once again.

it didn’t take much time for quinn to wake up too and for real. at first, he wasn’t alarmed by feeling your body in his arms, your head on his chest. this was a current situation for a long time during your friends with benefits period. he enjoyed the moment as always, but then suddenly remembered that you put an end to this. being extra careful to not wake you up, quinn managed to disentangle your bodies, getting up short after. rubbing his eyes to get rid of the rest of sleepiness, he looks at you one more time before he goes to the bathroom and then the kitchen to eat something.

there, he finds almost everyone eating and chatting, all of them excited to enjoy the day and the summer as always. he acted normal, kissing his mom’s cheek and eating and chatting with some of the boys. today, they were all going fishing together, a thing they couldn’t do very often when the season was happening.

while eating, quinn started zoning out, thinking about you per usual. why do you have to be so incredible? the thought of how he could fix things with you was eating him alive. perhaps he should ask his mom what to do. yeah, he was definitely going to do this later.

“wake up, jerome,” someone yelled to him.

“hm what?”

“man were you even on earth?” trevor asked.

“what do you want?”

“oooh he’s moody,” it was brendan’s time to tease him.

quinn just gave him a look and he immediately closed his mouth before saying something stupid.

“they were asking if you’re ready to go to the lake, huggy,” luke said.

“yeah, sure.”

they all got up and quinn took advantage of the momentary mess to talk to his mom.

“hey mom, can we talk tonight?” he said in a low tone.

“sure sweetie, should i be worried?”

giggling, he said “no, it’s not a good situation but you don’t have to worry.”

“ok, now go with the boys.”

“bye mum,” he kissed her forehead and followed everyone.

meanwhile, you were waking up and getting ready for the day. since it was officially the first day, you would be only staying on the shore, working on your tan and reading some book. going downstairs to eat, you found only ellen watching tv.

“hi mama hughes, how are you?”

“great honey, and you?”

“i’m gonna be fine,” you gave her a sad smile.

“still that boy?”

“yeah.”

“and you wanna talk about it?”

“actually no, i think i’ll try to distract myself today,” you said. “where’s everyone?”

“fishing.”

“ooh, makes sense.”

“what do you want to do today?”

“i was planning on staying at the shore in the sun reading something, what about you?”

“well i was thinking about spending the whole day sleeping to rest.”

“you’re so right, i’ll be out soon so you can have the whole house in silence.”

“take your time, dear. there’s tea and some food for you in the kitchen.”

“thank you, you’re the best,” you kissed her head and went to the kitchen.

after eating, you grabbed your sunglasses and book and headed to the chairs outside to lay down. you read just a few pages before drifting off to sleep. you were lucky because you remembered to apply a layer of sunscreen, and the sun wasn’t strong. it was a dreamless nap, 2 hours of rest and then you were waking up again. picking your book again, you continued from where you stopped and luckly your brain kept everything related to quinn in second plan, giving you a truce.

the book you were reading was about a fictional famous hollywood's actress who had seven husbands and an incredible life story. you were enjoying your time but then a droplet of water fell on your head and you looked up, seeing it was starting to rain. collecting your things, you ran to the house and kept quiet so ellen could rest and headed to your bedroom. after taking a shower, you lay on the bed, smelling quinn’s scent. you missed it so much you could cry.

picking up your phone, you started scrolling through your social media and listening to some music. you were so distracted you didn’t even notice quinn opening the door and then closing it. he was quiet until he stubbed his pinky toe on the bed.

“holy shit,” he almost yelled.

you startled at the sound, taking off your airpods and looking at his face.

“oh my god are you alright?”

“i am but it hurts so much.”

“stay here, i’m gonna grab an ice pack.”

you practically ran downstairs and grabbed the ice pack in record time. going back to the bedroom, you saw quinn sitting on the bedside, looking defeated. you hated when your boy looked like that. he’s not your boy, you reminded yourself.

“here, put your feet on the bed.”

he did as you told and you placed the ice pack after taking a look at his finger. it didn't look broken nor swollen, only being red.

“you will be okay, just keep it on for-”

“20 minutes, i know,” he interrupted you. you backed off, suddenly feeling shy. “thank you, y/n/n,” he added.

“i’ll be downstairs.”

you did it and sat alone on the front porch until ellen called everyone for dinner. going to the dining room, you saw that the only available place was beside quinn. sighing, you sat and asked “how’s your finger?”

“way better, thanks for asking.”

jack, who was looking at your awkward interaction from the other side of the table, asked “what’s going on between you two?”

“what do you mean?” you asked.

“you’re acting all weird since yesterday.”

you heard everyone agreeing and felt cornered.

“nothing’s wrong, i think y’all are seeing more than what’s here,” quinn said.

“yes,” you agreed. “and also, people change so…”

“everyone, time to eat,” ellen came to your rescue.

you looked at her with a grateful look and she smiled at you. the rest of the dinner was pretty normal, the boys talking about their fishing day while you ate in silence.

after everyone finished eating, you excused yourself and headed to the bedroom, just wanting to hide from the world under the covers. quinn stayed behind to help his mom while everyone went to the backyard.

“ok sweet boy, want to talk now?” ellen asked, putting the things in the dishwasher.

“sure,” he replied. “i was… seeing a girl back in vancouver and she’s my friend but we had an arrangement and everything was good and seemed to be ok, at least from my point of view. we were always together doing everything but not officially because i didn’t want to ruin our friendship but i guess i did it anyway, i really don't know.” at this point, despite having heard only the start, ellen was starting to connect the dots. “i swear everything was normal and then one day she called it quits and i was so shocked i didn’t even react. i still don’t know what to do because…”

“keep going, baby.”

“i love her, mom, i really do. and i’m so heartbroken since that day because i miss her friendship and our moments together and everything. i feel so lonely without her, i don’t know what to do to fix things and i thought you could help me.”

he didn’t realized there were tears streaming down his face until his mom approached him and started drying his tears with her thumbs.

“oh my little baby, i feel so sorry for you,” she said. “i think the best thing i can say to you for now is to try to distract yourself here, going out with the boys and enjoying your brothers.”

“but what can i do to get my girl back?”

“just be patient and enjoy the summer here with your family and friends, quinny,” she said, messing up his hair. “and then you can talk to this girl, tell her your feelings and if she’s the one for you, she will understand. and if she doesn’t feel the same, it’s not the end of the world. keep in mind that when a door closes, others are opening for you.”

“ok mom,” he said, begrudgingly.

“now go do something, i think the boys are outside,” ellen said. he nodded and did what she said.

this whole situation seemed like a mess to ellen. the thing is, she knows you live in vancouver for college and of course she knew you were always together since little kids. she only needed to connect the dots and realize you were talking about quinn and he was talking about you. it hurts to see that this situation could be solved with a little communication, the pain could be long gone. it was now her personal mission to make both of you talk about it somehow and she would do what she could to make this happen.

after that day, your awkward dynamic kept going, the only change was the way you were sleeping now. after two days waking up the same way as the first, you and quinn started sleeping as you used to do, together from head to toe. but it was only this. you couldn’t act like a normal person around him and the same with quinn. ellen was working hard trying to make you have a conversation but nothing seemed to work. until the universe got tired and did the work all by himself.

you were spending a lot of time with alex this summer and that night it wasn’t different. you were all around a bonfire chatting and making s’mores and roasting marshmallows. everything was nice and comforting, you were feeling truly relaxed and happy despite everything going on in your head. the time was passing quickly and everyone started to go back home to get some sleep, until it was just you and turcs. you stretched your limbs and let out a heavy sigh, starting to think about quinn all over again. why was everything so complicated?

“turcs why can’t i be happy with quinny as my boyfriend?”

“aw bug, you know you should talk to him about how you feel, don’t you?”

“i know but it’s so hard, my biggest fear is to be rejected and lose his friendship for real this time.”

“but your friendship is kinda nonexistent at this moment,” he said.

“shut up alex, i hate you.”

“but it’s true, you really should tell him. i’ve known quinn for a long time now and he’s always been the type of guy who can only show his feelings with his family, you know? i think he’s afraid of telling what he really feels and you misinterpreted his lack of action after you broke up with him.”

“that’s basically what mama hughes said.”

“you told her?”

“yeah, i just didn’t tell i was talking about her son but besides this little information, i told.”

“see it’s not too hard, you told me, told ellen and you can totally tell quinn.”

“that’s not how it works, smartass.”

“you’re wrong but ok.”

“it’s just that i love him so much, i hate seeing him and not being able to act like a normal person. i just wish i could say it to quinny and hopefully he would say he feels the same but if feels so impossible to me,” you sighed. “i’m sorry to keep talking your ear off about this whole situation, i just don’t know what to do.”

“you don’t need to apologize, i understand,” he said. “what i have to say is you need to find the courage to tell him. if you need support, i can go with you.”

“i need some time to think about what i’m gonna do.”

“and i need some sleep, let’s go bug.”

“okaaaaay.”

you and alex went back to the house, but what you didn’t know is that quinn was hearing everything. he went back to the backyard because he forgot his phone and heard it by accident. he couldn’t believe what you said, it all felt like a feverish dream. the girl he loves loves him back. when you were out of sight, he grabbed his phone and went back to the house, suddenly feeling a rush of adrenaline and confidence.

opening the door to your shared bedroom, he saw you looking at something in your phone and cleared his throat, catching your attention.

“we need to talk.”

“about what?”

“us.”

“what about?”

“i heard you and turcs at the backyard by accident, i’m sorry.”

“you what?” you said, your eyes wide open.

“it was an accident, i swear, but i have to tell you that we’re feeling the same way.”

“how can this be true?”

“you never noticed?”

“of course no, you silly boy, if so i wouldn’t be asking.”

“calm down,” he sat by your side. “i- i love you. for real. more than friends should love each other. i’ve loved you since we were teenagers but then it faded and everything got back like a hurricane when you started living in vancouver.”

“why didn’t you tell me before?”

“the same reason as you, silly.”

“i can’t believe we messed up everything when we could be dating for a long time now,” you let out an incredulous laugh.

“i know, it sucks,” he laughed too.

“so it’s so easy like this?”

“i guess so? we’ve known each other for a long time and that’s our dynamic.”

“well i don’t have much more to say about it, we suffered in silence when it all could be avoided but now we can finally be together after everything,” you said.

“for real this time, no more misunderstandings.”

“for real,” you said. “babe i missed you so much.”

“me too, i couldn’t take it anymore.”

“i know, i know,” you said, “come here.”

you opened your arms and he hugged you, resting his head on your chest just how he likes.

“i love you so, so, so, so much, quinny,” you mumbled, kissing his head.

“it’s so good to hear it, you have no idea,” he said. “i love you too, my love, i never stopped loving you.”

you stayed tangled for some time but then quinn decided he had been deprived of your lips for too much time and he wanted to end this. lifting his head, he looked at your face and captured your lips in a gentle kiss, your hearts beating so fast they could explode. his lips were warm and soft against yours, his beard scratching you but it was so good you didn’t care. he held your neck, adjusting your head so he could deepen the kiss. meanwhile, your hands were threading through his soft hair. boy, you missed it so much.

when the air was needed, he slowly pulled away, giving you some pecks while trying to breath and it was a mess but you were laughing.

“i. love. you,” quinn said in between pecks.

“i love you too, huggy bear.”

“we should sleep, as long as i want to keep kissing you the whole night i’m tired and you must be too.”

“you’re right, babe.”

getting up to change your clothes, you stole a shirt from quinn’s things as he laughs, shaking his head. after being dressed and clean, you turned the lights off and lay down by his side.

“i have a confession,” you said.

“go ahead.”

“i wasn’t sleeping very well until we started sleeping together again.”

“same with me,” he said.

“i guess we’re just meant to be together.”

“as we should.”

“i love you.”

“i love you too, my sunflower.”

quinn grabbed his phone to put the nature sounds and after setting the timer, he asked you to turn around so he could be the big spoon. doing as he said, you felt so protected and loved as you only felt when you were a little kid.

from that day on, everything seemed to be back to normal with you and quinn back to your old dynamic. well, old for you, because for the others – besides ellen and alex – it was all new. they all supported you and of course, they teased you, but it was all great and beautiful because you were with the love of your life.

as ellen said, when a door closes, others are opening for you. always. in this situation, the door was only a matter of time to be the right one.

[pr1ncessm00n]

Update!!

Hi, everyone!! thank you so much for all the support and compassion. i'm sorry i've been kinda MIA for two days lol. that's kind of shitty of me to just not drop an update on Sunday and then disappear. but here's an in depth explanation as to wtf i've been doing and whats going to happen!! tw: heartbreak, depression, academic struggles

so obviously most of my chapter got deleted. i am actually almost done with rewriting it and i think it shaped out to be better than what i had previously written. i think by at least the end of the week it should be out, and it's VERY long just to make up for sunday's non update!! so i've been working a lot but thankfully my days off start tomorrow. i have a lot fo academic stress bc of some personal issues regarding my school quite literally fucking my schedule up and pushing my estimated graduation date back by oh... a few fucking months! great! literally hate that !! so ive been running around like a headless chicken trying to fix what wasn't my fault. sigh, i guess it should be resolved in a week or so, but as you can imagine i am so stressed about it. what makes me angrier is that it was not my own error. like to have to fix an issue that i did not cause?? i swear the staff at my school makes our experience harder not easier.

secondly, don't be fooled lol. i am writing this with tears down my face listening to harry styles and the aot season 3/4 theme song endings on repeat for almost 30 minutes because i had to end my 4 year relationship. that's a whole story for another day, but i don't think i will be okay mentally for a long time. he was my best friend and my first real love, so yeah. i might make our own love story into a fic or something just to cope but as for now thats another thing i have to deal with now!! my heart hurts a lot !! it's always the things you least expect. the worst part is it really isn't either of ours faults... or choice. i don't want to go into too much detail because even tho he's not on here and y'all don't know him, i want to respect his privacy. but the main reason is he has become very depressed, and even though i tried to help him as much as i could theres just some things you can't fix as a partner. i wish so much that i could take his pain away but i can't, i just can't.

sorry for that weird rant lol. it was a mutual decision, but it still hurts regardless lol. he was my bestfriend and lover in one, and i don't know how im going to continue my boring routine without him lol. but don't worry, i'll still be writing. if anything i'll probably write more. it distracts me, soothes me and is. great outlet. i don't plan on abandoning tumblr anytime soon lol.

thank you all so much for the support you guys are seriously the best group of people/fandom space i have witnessed in all my years as a fangirl. and i was around for 2014 tumblr so thats saying something. you guys have motivated me a lot to write more and improve, and i actually feel heard on this tiny blog (altho u have managed to make it not so tiny any more in the span of such a short few months?? im literally at 420 followers and i was at 300 a few weeks ago?? wow. im also about to hit 500 notes oh god.) you guys have literally given me so much inspiration and im so grateful for the friendships ive made already!! i have plenty of requests in my inbox to work on as well. im also creating a tag system so stay tuned!!

anyways, i feel so blessed to have such attentive followers and readers and you guys literally make me laugh everyday. its not just about notes or followers to me, but its so amazing how through tiny screens we can all share our love for some 2d characters and how for some reason my writing has struck a nerve with some of you. i love you all <3

emi

[historyofshipping]

My massive Bellarke is epic and here’s proof from s5-7 rant.

Ok guys I cannot stress enough that I am drunk, this is long, it has strong language, and it’s a trip. I am putting it almost all under a cut because it is 20 f*ing pages on word.

For reference: this was on a discord chat and I am removing all names and a few other things but there will be absolutely no editing. Anything in straight text is me, anything in italics is someone else (there’s several different someone elses so people are separated by line breaks). On my page I think it appears as everything grey is someone else, everything black is me. I’m going to put the beginning on here and rest under the cut. If you’re still going through with this, I suggest some popcorn.

Guys... I'm trying to stay optimistic but I'm really worried that jroth is gonna make bellarke canon in a really disappointing way. Like for me infidelity is a huge no in ships and I hate that becho has gone on so long that there doesn't seem to be a lot of room left in the canon timeline for a becho breakup/end that doesn't ruin the start of Bellarke for me

WAIT I GOT YOU I CAN CALM YOU I THINK BUT FIRST I NEED TO EAT MY BREADSTICKS

Every moment Echo is on the screen I want to claw my eyes out because she's so boring please jroth let it fucking end, but the feminist in me doesn't want her to die or be disrespected just because she's a callous asshole who doesn't deserve him yknow

Eat your breadsticks babe I've been living with my dread for 2 seasons I can hang on a little longer I just wish the entire becho relationship had never happened it's a blight and it's gone on so long adenfkidsngksdgnksdgn

Kate will say it better than I will, but don't lose hope! Becho hasn't really been together on screen for very long. It's only been like a few weeks to a month since the beginning of S5. They've stretched it out over two seasons, but in canon not much time has passed. And most of that time had Bellamy either sacrificing almost 300 lives to save Clarke, poisoning his sister to save Clarke, or fucking off into the wilderness with Josephine to save Clarke. They've just straight up not had enough time for Bellamy to be like, "Hey Echo, I know I said things wouldn't change but that was before my wife was actually alive, so bye." Though  to wishing Becho had just never happened. We got one good angst scene with Clarke seeing them kiss. But otherwise, I could have very much done without their whole relationship.

they gave me 2 dozen breadsticks. i ordered 6

You've been blessed by the breadstick goddess.

oh sorry i was misinformed. i only have 22. apparently one bag only had 4 OK SO BELLARKE BITCHES AM I GOING TO ANNOYINGLY DO THIS IN CAPS SO BUCKLE TF UP

I mean, I love the idea that they only got together in the sixth year on the ring when Bellamy totally lost hope but is that canon? I thought we had a 3 year range

ALL RIGHT

We ignore canon in this channel. lol They've been together for 3 months.

SO LET'S START AT THE BEGINNING OF BECHO ok caps off. i even annoyed myself

I'm so here for this.

https://tenor.com/view/murder-she-wrote-angela-lansbury-jessica-eats-popcorn-interested-gif-4594942

Damn, I was ready for caps.

OK WE'RE BACK TO CAPS

https://giphy.com/gifs/popcorn-go-on-keep-going-Zd1BUb0qs6nwjeMUBu

OK SO WE HAVE BECHO'S FIRST SCENE TOGETHER ANYONE REMEMBER WHAT BELLAMY SAID? ANYONE? THIS REQUIRES AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION

"Hey work with me so I can break everyone out of this mountain"? or something?

OH DAMN I MEANT WHEN THEY WERE CANONICALLY TOGETHER XP

"I'm a goddamn delight who's trying to save your life you ungrateful walnut so maybe don't spit in my face" is what I would have written

LMFAO OJN THE RING WHAT'S THE FIRST THING WE HEAR FROM THEM? THE FIRST IMPORTANT THING? ANYONE?

Unfortunately that scene was physically repulsive for me so I don't remember much except for "nothing will change on the ground and my sister totally didn't mean to murder you"

AHA! THERE YA GO NOTHING WILL CHANGE ON TEH GROUND BECAUSE WHAT IS HE EXPECTING ON THE GROUND? NOTHING TO CHANGE BECAUSE THE ONLY THING THAT COULD CHANGE IS -----

>"I'm a goddamn delight who's trying to save your life you ungrateful walnut so maybe don't spit in my face" is what I would have written I SPIT OUT MY DRINK I CANNOT

ANYONE? YUP

I'm behind. lol

CLARKE

AND THEN WE GOT TO THE GROUND, WHAT HAPPENED?

BEING ALIVE

His sister having more taste in his romantic partners than him?

WHAT WAS THE LITERAL ONE THING THAT COULD HAPPEN THAT WOULD CHANGE BELLAMY'S MIND DING DING DING CLARKE IS ALIVE

10 points to 

AND WHAT DOES OUR BABY BOY DO?

SACRIFICE 300 PEEPS FOR HIS WIFE

Clarke with a gun AND a kid AND a rover AND bedtime storytelling practice like what more could he want that's all the things he loves

A LITTLE AHEAD BUT BANG

BABY BOY FOLLOWS CLARKS DAUGHTER FIRST, LEAVING ECHO IN THE LITERAL DUST (that's what he does before sacrificing lives)

WE WENT FROM "I WILL NOT TOUCH THESE PEOPLE BECAUSE WE'RE GOING TO DO BETTER." TO "I WILL SLAUGHTER 283 PEOPLE WITHOUT RAISING AN EYEBROW" BECAUSE RANDOM CHILD SHOWS UP AND SAYS "CLARKE'S IN TROUBLE" RANDOM CHILD WHO HAS JUST KILLED A BUNCH OF HARDENED CRIMINALS

He had the dad mug tho, he had to help her

HE SAW HIMSELF IN HER HE KNEW

OK

HIS SOUL KNEW

SO WE'RE THERE NOW BUT THEN BANG, WE'RE ON THE GROUND AND OH FUCK I FORGOT I HAD A GIRLFRIEND BUT BELLAMY IS LOYAL SO HE SURE AF ISN'T DOING ANYTHING UNTIL HE'S DONE WITH ECHO BUT

He's had 2 seasons!!!!!

CLARKE BASICALLY ACTS LIKE SHE DIDN'T CARE ABOUT THE SEPARATION THOU SHALT NOT POKE HOLES IN MY SHIT UNTIL I AM DONE

>He's had 2 seasons!!!!! But only like a few weeks in time.

BECAUSE THESE TWO FUCK HEADS CANNOT HAVE A CONVERSATION

Forgive me!

SO WE HAVE A GRAND TOTAL OF FEWER THAN 3 WEEKS THAT THEY'RE ON THE GROUND AND THEN IN THAT TIME WE HAD.... one sec pPLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO REVIEW THE TIMELINE https://historyofbellarke.tumblr.com/post/620425806742749184/season-5-7x03-so-far-timeline FOR SEASON 5 ALL RIGHT SO WE HAVE THEM TOGETHER FOR LESS THAN A WEEK BEFORE BELLAMY'S LIKE (FROM CLARKE'S PERSPECTIVE) "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR KID, I HAVE TO SAVE MY FAMILY" SO THEN WE HAVE THEM SPEND THE NEXT 10 DAYS APART BECAUSE SHE LEFT HIM AFTER SLAPPING HIM AND SHE THOUGHT HE DIED BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKING MORONS WHO CAN'T HAVE A CONVERSATION (YOU WILL NOTICE A RECURRING THEME) AND THEN, ECHO HAS LEARNED THAT NOT ONLY HAS CLARKE CARED ABOUT BELLAMY ALL THIS TIME BUT THAT SHE'S ONCE AGAIN READY TO PUT THE FATE OF HUAMNITIY ON THE LINE TO SAVE HIM "GO SAVE HIM. EVEN TAKE MURDER!DAUGHTER WITH YOU" BUT BELLAMY STILL DOESN'T KNOW THIS SO ANYWAY WE HAVE ANGST!BELLAMY GET PARENT TRAPPED BY MURDER!DAUGHTER are y'all still with me? AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED IMMEDIATELY AFTER MURDER!DAUGHTER'S INTERVENTION?

BELLARKE FORGIVENESS ™

YAS NOT ONLY THAT BUT SOFT!BELLARKE RETURNS WITH A VENGEANCE [side note: you can pry this theory from my cold dead hands but there was 100% a canon bellarke scene between forgiveness and 125 year wake up just in case they ended at season 5.]

[I need them to publish that scene when this is all over]

ALL RIGHT SO FUCKING MARPER - WHO SPENT A TOTAL OF LIKE 4 MONTHS WITH CLARKE BUT 6 YEARS WITH THEIR FAMILY- DECIDED TO WAKE UP BELLARKE TO TALK TO AND GIVE GUARDIANSHIP TO AND WHY DID THEY DO THAT?

THEY BEEN KNEW

I'LL ACCEPT IT

OK SO WE GET THIS PROMISING FUTURE TOGETHER ON THIS NEW PLANET RIGHT?

WRONG MURDER POLLEN

OK BUT TECHNICALLY BECHO IS STILL TOGETHER. NO PROBLEM - WE NEED TO FIGURE OUR SHIT OUT AND THEN WE'LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO HAVE PEACE AND GET TOGETHER OK SO I'M JUST GOING TO START SAYING "CHORUS" WHEN I MEAN "BECAUSE THESE TWO DUMBASSES CAN'T TALK TO EACH OTHER" IS CHORUS THE RIGHT WORD? OR IS IT REFRAIN? WHATEVER ONE REPEATS - THAT ONE ALL RIGHT SO WE HAVE THEM GOING INTO THE VILLAGE AND EVERY TIME THERE IS DANGER, BELLAMY GOES IMMEDIATELY TO CLARKE WHEN IT'S PEACEFUL, OPE IT'S BACK TO ECHO

(like the husband he is)

I HAVE A WHOLE META ABOUT THAT IF YOU WANT IT BUT SO THEN THE FIRST TIME - LITERALLY THE FIRST TIME SINCE THE MARPER VIDEO - THAT THEY'RE ALONE, IT'S BECAUSE BELLAMY HAS SOUGHT HER OUT AND WHY DID BELLAMY SEEK HER OUT? Y'ALL I'M ONLY AT 6X01. I HAVE SO MUCH AMMUNITION BUT SOMEONE IS WELCOME TO SCREEN SHOT THIS SO THAT THE NEXT TIEM WE HAVE DOUBTS, I DON'T HAVE TO TYPE IT ALL OUT SO WHY DID BELLAMY SEEK HER OUT?

>Y'ALL I'M ONLY AT 6X01. I HAVE SO MUCH AMMUNITION @kate (historyofbellarke) "Give a position show me where the ammunition is" from My Shot just popped into my head lololol

WHY DID BELLAMY LEAVE HIS CANONICAL GIRLFRIEND TO GO SEEK OUT CLARKE?

BECAUSE HE LOVES HER AND ALSO BECAUSE THERE WAS DANGER

OK BUT WHY SPECIFICALLY NOOO WHEN CLARKE WAS IN THE SCHOOL

AND THE LAST TIME SHE WASN'T IN HIS SIGHT SHE ALMOST DIED

OK THAT TOO

Okay I'm lost at this point then.

LOL

Phone a friend.

Bc she sucks and Clarke's the best?

I'LL LET ---- CHIME IN LMFAO I LOVE YOU GUYS KNOW IT'S TO TELL HER THAT HE KNOWS ABOUT THE CALLS

OH THAT SCENE

HE KNOWS THAT SHE CALLED HIM EVERY DAY FOR 2,199 DAYS HE SOUGHT HER OUT, BY HERSELF, TO TELL HER THIS

YES YES

BUT BECAUSE CHORUS

WE'RE BACK THESE FUCK HEADS CAN'T HAVE A CONVERSATION

SHE GOT NERVOUS AND DUCKED OUT BECAUSE IT'S BEEN LESS THAN 3 WEEKS SINCE HE CAME BACK AND SHE'S OVERWHELMED BECAUSE HOLY FUCK WHAT A 3 WEEK PERIOD THAT WAS (REFER BACK TO TIMELINE AS NEEDED) ALL RIGHTY SO THEN AFTER THAT THEY FIND OUT ABOUT THE RED SUN WHICH BY THE WAY IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS BECAUSE HE CALLS OVER ECHO JUST TO PROMPTLY IGNORE HER COMPLETELY [AND BECAUSE IT'S ME, I HAVE A GIFSET FOR THAT] SORRY I GOT DISTRACTED

NO WE'RE HERE FOR THE GIFSET

I'M LOOKING OK IT'S PART OF THIS SO YOU GET A 2 FOR 1 https://historyofbellarke.tumblr.com/post/184827185143/bellarke-danger-vs-becho-safety OK NOW I FORGOT WERE I LEFT OFF OH YEAH IGNORING ECHO ALL RIGHT SO THEN WE HAVE EVERYTHING GO TO SHIT AND OF COURSE, BELLARKE LOCK THEMSELVES TOGETHER AND WE HAVE THE ANGST THE ANGST BUT THEY HAVE EACH OTHER'S KEYS

WHICH IS A MARRIED MOVE IF I EVER HEARD ONE

BECAUSE THEY HAVE THE KEY TO MY HEART, WHEREVER YOU ARE, I'LL KEEP YOU

That's a very comprehensive gifset

IF YOU DON'T KNOW THAT SONG THEN I FEEL OLD SO YOU HAVE THEM UNLOCKING EACH OTHER BECAUSE OF COURSE THEY ARE

I might drift in and out of conversation, partner wants attention but I wanna finish reading this asdfgh

AND HE'S LIKE "NAH ECHO, WIFEY AND I GOT THIS. WE GOTTA TAKE CARE OF OUR KIDS." TELL THEM TO WAIT THEIR TURN SO THEY'RE GOING LITERALLY PSYCHOTIC BUT THAT'S COOL. I TRUST THE OTHER ONE ENOUGH TO NOT KILL ME BUT OH WAIT - WHAT IS BELLAMY'S PSYCHOSIS ?

Not needing Clarke anymore...?

YUP WHICH MEAN S

He needed her and knew it at some point

YUP ALSO I FOUND THAT GIFSET THAT I IDD TO THAT SONG https://historyofbellarke.tumblr.com/post/184725894498/this-song-popped-into-my-head-and-i-had-to OK SO SKIPPING AHEAD, HIS BIGGEST SECRET IS THAT HE DOES STILL NEED HER OK EVEN I'M STARTED TO GET BORED SO I'LL GIVE BULLET POINTS FROM HERE ON OUT SO WE HAVE HIM NEEDING HER HIM CALLING HER THE LEADER EVEN THOUGH SHE HASN'T BEEN FOR LIKE 6 YEARS AND WE HAVE HIM PINING OVER HER AT THE DANCE FLOOR AND PICKING A FIGHT WITH ECHO OH YEAH AND WE SEE ALL THE  BECHO CRACKS HERE

This has been a v good rundown, I won't lie.

LOL

ONWARD  I'M BACK ON TRACK

WE HAVE JUXTAPOSED: ECHO NOT KNOWING WHAT TO SAY WITH REGARDS TO OBUT CLARKE KNOWING EXACTLY WHAT TO SAY EVEN AFTER 6 YEARS

BECAUSE WIFEY

https://historyofbellarke.tumblr.com/post/618426948212965376/historyofbellarke-4-times-someone-knew-the-right

Really you'd think the spy would know what someone wants to hear smh

NAH BECAUSE SHE HAS NO EMOTIONAL EMPATHY. WE'LL GET TO THAT EVENTUALLY

She's also kinda a shit spy. Like when has she ever done actual spying.

Y'ALL I HAVE A GIF FOR EVERYTHING. I'M THE LIZ WARREN OF BELLARKE GIFS GIFSETS AT LEAST

You don't need empathy to fake it, Madison's right she's just such a bad spy :joy:

I'VE GOT NOTHING ON ---- FOR JUST GIFS LOLi

I say this as someone who was 10/10 a spy in a past life at least according to my recurring dreams about it1

OK SO THEN WE ALSO HAVE BELLAMY SIDING WITH CLARKE AT EVERY TURN, OVER ECHO'S EXPLICIT OBJECTIONS AND WE HAVE HER NOTICINGGGGGG WE'RE HERE FOR THIS CONTENT

https://historyofbellarke.tumblr.com/post/185265380768/6x04-bec-scene-follow-up-with-6x05 JUST ONE EXAMPLE

HATE TO SEE IT 

SO WE HAVE BELLAMY CLEARLY SHOWING THAT HE'S HER LEADER - WHETHER HE MEANS TO BE OR NOT - WHICH COMES IN IN 7X01

Total aside but now I want a modern au where Bellamy doesn't know how to break up with Echo so he tries to ghost her while everyone around him is pulling their hair out

OH SHIT ONE SECOND I HAVE TO DO DUOLINGO SO I DON'T LOSE MY STREAK BRB

>Total aside but now I want a modern au where Bellamy doesn't know how to break up with Echo so he tries to ghost her while everyone around him is pulling their hair out ---- I love this, actually. WE SHALL HOLD YOUR SPOT

No one in this goddamn canon knows how to have an actual breakup conversation they only know how to die

CORRECT CHORUS

BECAUSE THESE TWO DUMBASSES CAN'T TALK TO EACH OTHER

Ironically Raven and Finn are the only ones who have had a half-normal breakup.

Will be back, partner is dramatically exclaiming that I don't love him anymore bc I won't go give him a goddamn hug bc the meta's too good

BOOM OK I'M BACK

SIDE NOTE BEFORE WE'RE BACK

GO ON

What language are you learning on Duolingo?

relearning spanish and then german german for work, spanish because i used to be fluent and i'm so bad now xp

This entire convo is a chaotic mess

We are a chaotic mess.

WELCOME TO THE HELLMOUTH, ----

Our ship is a chaotic mess.

It all tracks, honestly.

WE WOULD'VE ALL BEEN SO MUCH BETTER OFF IF JASPER HAD DESTROYED THE CHIP OOK SO MOVING ON NOW I FORGOT WHERE I LEFT OFF OH YEAH LEADER PERF SO OH YEAH I FORGOT TO ADD - 6 & 7 ARE ONE SINGULAR SEASON SO

This convo should totally be convered into a Masterclass session at the end. YES

WE'VE GOT A RUNNING THREAD OF ECHO BEING A FOLLOWER OF BELLAMY AND HER KNOWING IT

6/7 ARE ONE SEASON WE'RE HERE WE'RE LIVING

BUT BACK TO S6 SO WE HAVE BELLAMY BEING THE FIRST TO REALIZE THAT CLARKE WANS'T CLARKE AND WE HAVE THIS BEAUTIFUL MOMENT

I’m here and all of this is glorious

OH YEAH THERE'S ALSO THIS BUT I DIGRESS https://historyofbellarke.tumblr.com/post/618548726524510208/historyofbellarke-5x09-6x04-6x05 THE FIRST ONE HERE - https://historyofbellarke.tumblr.com/post/616075629201408000/just-some-clips-ofabout-bellamy-where-either HE'S WILLING TO RISK EVERYTHING EBCAUSE CLARKE MIGHT BE AT RISK  EVEN THOUGH THEY LITERALLY HAVE NO WHERE ELSE TO GO OH YEAH FUCKING MURPHY - I'LL GET BACK TO HIM ALL RIGHT SO THEN WE HAVE BELLAMY FIGURING IT OUT AND THE HORROR BLOOMING IN HIS SOUL AND THEN WE HAVE HIM LITERALLY WITH A ROOM DESTROYED EVERN THOUGH HE IS CHAINED UP LIKE SERIOUSLY HOW DID HE MANAGE THAT AND THEN TRY TO KILL RUSSELL THE SECOND HE COULD BECAUSE HE HURT CLARKE EVEN THOUGH, AGAIN, THAT'S THE ONLY WAY HE AND HIS PEOPLE COULD SURIVVE BUT WITHOUT CLARKE, HE'S NOT ALIVE. HE ONLY SURVIVES AND HOW DO WE KNOW THIS? BECAUSE HE FUCKING SAYS IT (implicitly)

I just came into this. I have nothing to add I just want to say I’m living for it

:heart:

Agreed, this conversation is giving meaning to my insomnia :joy:

https://historyofbellarke.tumblr.com/post/618973621000585216/just-a-reminder-that-bellamy-canonically-only

WHOLE F*ING THING ON SURVIVING VS LIVING AND THEN ONCE HE DECIDES THEY'RE GOING TO LIVE (AND LET RUSSELL LIVE)  BECAUSE IT'S WHAT CLARKE WOULD'VE WANTED, HE SAYS "WE SURVIVE" LOOKING LIKE THE SADDEST FUCKING PUPPY IN EXISTENCE AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE FACT THAT WE HAD A WHOLE DAMN EPISODE OF A 13 EPISODE SEASON DEVOTED TO BELLAMY SUFFERING BECAUSE HIS WIFE DIED AGAIN 3 WEEKS AFTER SHE WAS RESURRECTED SUBTLE, JASON. SUBTLE. OK NOW BACK TO MY BELOVED COCKROACH MURPHY AND BELLAMY ARE ARGUABLY THE TWO CLOSEST NON-ROMANTIC (:upside_down:) PEOPLE ON THE SHIP THE RING RIGHT? OK WE'RE GOING WITH IT ANYWAY

Hmmm yes(I agreee) but also Clarke and Murphy have that understanding that transcends words?

THEY ARE THE CLOSEST ROMANCE WITHSTANDING ON THE SHIP

AND MURPHY, MY BELOVED MURPHY, HAS BEEN THERE FROM "I'LL CHOP HER HAND OFF" TO "OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK CLARKE IS UNCONSCIOUS AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO" TO "YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE HERE SAVING SOMEONE THEY CARE ABOUT"

BECAUSE BELLAMY DOES NOT EVEN KNOW ECHO'S ACTUAL NAME AND THEREFORE THEY ARE NOT CLOSE

LOL SO MURPHY AFTER 6 YEARS IS TRYING TO GET BELLAMY TO DO SOMETHING HE WANTS (WE'RE BACK IN SEASON 5 NOW, SORRY) AND HOW DOES HE DO THAT?

AND INVOLKES MOM'S NAME

BLESSED BE "WELL IF CLARKE WAS HERE" BELLAMY ESPLODES OK SO NOW WE HAVE MURPHY AGAIN WHO KNOWSSSS AND WHAT DOES HE SAY TO JOSIE? ABOUT BELLAMY

If Clarke is dead Bellamy will kill us all HE KNOWS

BAM ALSO, REFER BACK TO PREVIOUS GIFSET, SAME MURPHY "OH YEAH I'LL TRY TO HELP ECHO TOO" BECAUSE MURPHY KNOWSSSS OOK THAT'S ALL FOR MURPHY NOW SO WE HAVE BELLAMY "WE'RE GOING TO SURVIVE BECAUSE I CAN'T LIVE WITHJOUT CLARKE BUT I'M GOING TO ONCE AGAIN HONOR HER FUCKING MEMORY" UNTILLLLLL WHAT HAPPENS

lol @ Murphy having to remind Bell his gf exists hahahah UNTIL HIS SOUL REALIZES CLARKE IS ALIVE

BUT HOW DOES HE REALIZE THAT

BECAUSE YOU CAN'T CONVINCE ME HE KNEW IT WAS MORSE CODE BECAUSE OF EARTH SKILLS NO

HE KNEW IT WAS MORSE CODE BECAUSE HIS SOUL FUCKING KNEW HIS WIFE WAS ALIVE

Yesss

PLATONIC SOULMATE MY ASS JASON

Morse code is life

[okay rant over, continue Kate]

MILLER'S FACE WAS LIKE "YOU FUCKING WHAT MAN?"

(side note- i am getting alive in morse code on my wrist when covid clears) OK SO WE'RE BACK SO WE HAVE JOSIE TAPPING HER FINGERS

Oh I love that I have friend who has that tattoo

YES TAP TAP MILLER GOING WTF BELL GOING ALL GIDDY PUPPY WITH A BONE

WHICH MEANS BELLAMY HAD TO HAVE GONE BACK TO HIS FAMILY AND SAY "OK WE'RE GOING TO RESCUE MY DEAD WIFE. SHE'S ALIVE. IKNOW BECAUSE JOSIE WAS TAPPING HER FINGERS." AND THE FAMILY HAD TO GO "YEAH OK THAT MAKES SENSE."

AND NO ONE QUESTIONED IT BECAUSE THEY BEEN KNEW

Yessss

SO WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO? LIKE IT WAS EVEN A QUESTION. THEY'RE RESCUING CLARKE AND BY THEY'RE I MEAN HE BECAUSE HE DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THEM AT THE MOMENT SO HE'S LIKE "READY OR NOT, I'M RESCUING MY WIFE. BYEEEEE" AND JORDAN'S LIKE "WHAT ABOUT PRIYA?" AND EVERYONE'S LIKE ".... SORRY BRO. CLARKE. YOU WANTED HEART BELLAMY. YOU GOT HIM." SO HE GOES, LEAVING HIS FAMILY BEHIND WITH A BUNCH OF PSYCHOPATHIC MURDERERS WHO KNOW THAT BELLAMY IS GOING TO KILL THEIR DAUGHTER BUT HE'S JUST LIKE... BYE AND HE KNOWS, AND WE KNOW THAT HE KNOWS, BECAUSE JOSIE TAUNTS HIM ABOUT IT THE WHOLE TIME BECAUSE JOSIE IS THE AUDIENCE BASICALLY

JOSIE IS US BUT SLIGHTLY MORE PSYCHOTIC

ALL RIGHT SO SKIPPING AHEAD, SKIPPING AHEAD, YOU HAVE JOSIE'S WHOLE RUN DOWN OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP

TOGETHER

AND HIS VERY LONG PAUSE FOLLOWED BY "I WON'T LET YOU DIE"

EXHAUSTING

INSTEAD OF I FUCKING LOVE YOU BECAUSE CHORUS SO WE GET CLARKE BACK THROUGH SHEER FORCE OF BELLAMY'S WILL

>AND HIS VERY LONG PAUSE FOLLOWED BY "I WON'T LET YOU DIE" @kate (historyofbellarke) "I LOVE YOU, BITCH. I AIN'T EVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU, BITCH."

"I'LL SHAVE THE BEARD" SO WE HAVE CLARKE WHO GAVE UP LIVING BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT BELLAMY GAVE UP (REMEMBER, JOSIE SHOWING HER THE MEMORY OF BELLAMY SAYING WE'LL TAKE THE DEAL) AND THEN CLARKE COMING BACK TO LIFE BECAUSE BELLAMY WOULDN'T GIVE UP AND THEN WE HAVE OCTAVIA, MY BROTHER POISONED ME FOR HIS WIFE AND I STILL RAISED MY NIECE ON STORIES OF EPIC BELLARKE, BLAKE IN THE BACKGROUND BEING ALL OF US

>SO WE HAVE CLARKE WHO GAVE UP LIVING BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT BELLAMY GAVE UP (REMEMBER, JOSIE SHOWING HER THE MEMORY OF BELLAMY SAYING WE'LL TAKE THE DEAL) @kate (historyofbellarke) OMG I HAVE A SPEC ABOUT THIS I HAVE A SPEC ABOUT THIS BUT IMMA WAIT TIL WE'RE DONE TO POP INTO SPEC TO TALK IT OUT OKAY CONTINUE

i'm going to keep going, but have i done a pretty good job of convincing anyone who was wavering? because remember this is all canon.  i have done absolutely no spec-ing at all.

I'm very hype rn. Ngl.

lol

Could flip a tire for Bellarke rn kind of hype

OK SO NOW CLARKE IS ALIVE BUT OH FUCK, THE REST OF THE FAMILY IS IN TROUBLE WE LITERALLY HAD MURPHY, MY BLESSED MURPHY, SHOW UP TO GO "YO. YOUR GIRLFRIEND." AND BELLAMY GO https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/591463308117278720/716493560610029708/tumblr_pv4mkld49N1xsmktho1_500.gif SO OF COURSE, IT'S NOT TIME TO TALK BECAUSE CHORUS

DUMBASSES NO TALKIE

SO WE GET EVERYONE FIXED. A BUNCH OF UNNECESSARY PLOT SHIT HAPPENS. AND THEN BELLAMY LITERALLY PUSHES HIS GIRLFRIEND OUT OF THE WAY TO GO AND DO A DRAMATIC SUNSET REUNION WITH HIS WIFE AND THEN PLOT SHIT PLOT SHIT PLOT SHIT WE'RE IN S7 AM I MISSING S6 STUFF? PROBABLY BUT Y'ALL IT'S LITERALLY BEEN 4 WEEKS IN CANON AT THIS POINT AND I MISSED A LOT OF SHIT. SO Y'KNOW. OUR BABIES ARE TIRED N AND NOW WE'RE ALL GOOD RIGHT? JUST GONNA GO HAVE A QUICK MEETING WITH GABRIEL AND THEN GO BACK TO MY WIFE SO WE CAN TALK OVER SOME TEA THEN BAM, O GETS STABBED AND THEN WE HAVE . 4 EPISODES THAT HAPPEN OVER 2 DAYS BEFORE CLARKE'S LIKE "WELP. I'M THROWING MYSELF HEAD FIRST INTO A WORM HOLE TO GO GET MY HUSBAND AND HIS STUPID GIRLFRIEND." AND YOU HAVE EVERYONE ELSE GOING "I'M SORRY, DID YOU THINK ANYTHING ELSE WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?" AND FOLLOWING AND THE S6/7 WRITERS MOSTLY JUST CHOSE TO IGNORE THAT S4/5 WRITERS GAVE CLARKE A DAUGHTER BECAUSE, WELL, I DON'T BLAME THEM EVEN THOUGH I LOVE MADI SHE'S AN UNNECESSARY COMPLICATION SO HAND WAVING SHE'S FINE SO NOW WE'RE UP TO PRESENT

Fully convinced Madi was there to ensure Clarke didn't go fully insane on Earth and provide motive for that bitch slap scene from S5.

brb spilled beer

Oh, and to parent trip Bell/Clarke.

>brb spilled beer @kate (historyofbellarke) makes sense after the tea you're spilling on this channel

Someone really oughta document this convo for a later date. lol We will need to reference it before end of the season, bet. lol

blesss i do not deserve my partner he told me to go sit down and is cleaning it also i went to finish the last of the unspilled stuff and promptly spilled it down my chest so ALL RIGHT WHERE WERE WE OH YEAH AND BELLAMY FORGAVE HER BECAUSE MADI WAS LIKE "YO YOU'RE A PARENT TOO AND REMMEBER SHE STOOD BY YOU WHEN YOU PUT OCTAVIA ABOVE LITERALLY EVERYTHING" AND BELLAMY WAS LIKE "OH... SHIT." AND THEN SHE WAS LIKE "SHE CALLE DYOU EVERY DAY YOU DUMBFUCK" AND YOU HAVE THE PATENTED "OMG, DOES CLARKE HAVE FEELINGS FO RME TOO???" JAW DROP BUT NOW BACK TO PRESENT

(Now if someone will just fucking tell her that he did the equivalent grant gestureTM of the radio calls except w/ poison)

i didn't even include the fact that he fucking poisoned O, that diyoza referred to her as his girlfriend, etc etc etc OH AND AS TO WHY HBECHO ISN'T GOING TO BE A HTING ANYMORE BESIDES EVERYTHING I'VE SAID

FINN COLLINS THAT'S WHY

BASUCALLY YES

FINN COLLINS EXCEPT AT LEAST CLARKE KNEW HIS REAL NAME

THEY DID A LITERAL EXACT PARALLEL BETWEEN BELLAMY AND ECHO SPFEIHOi4ur YES LIKE IT'S LIKE THE WRITERS FOUND BESTOFBECHO AND WENT "FUCK, ARE WE NOT BEING OBVIOUS ENOUGH? TIME TO CALL IN ZACH MCGOWAN" ( THEY FUCKING GOT ZACH ON A PLANE FROM LA TO VANCOUVER TO JUST SAY "YOU DON'T LOVE HIM" LIKE I DON'T THINK PEOPLE REALIZE HOW INVOLVED OF A PROCESS IT IS TO GET AN ACTOR THERE - ESPECIALLY IN CANADA WHERE YOU HAVE TO BALANCE NON-CANADIAN WITH CANADIAN ACTORS OR YOU CAN'T SHOOT IN CANADA SO THIS AMERICAN HAD TO BE TAKEN INTO ACCOUNT FOR THE WHOLE SEASON FOR A 2 MINUTE APPERANCE BUT THE WRITERS WERE LIKE "YO HUGE NEON SIGN RIGHT HERE" AND THEN SHE CONTINUED ALL SEASON IN THAT VEIN UNTIL 7X05 WHEN SHE BROKEEEEE OVER HIS "DEATH"

BECAUSE HER SOUL DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS ALIVE LIKE BELL DID CLARKE

AND DID THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING BELLAMY DID WHEN HE FOUND OUT CLARKE WAS ALIVE

And also as mentioned, she's a shit spy.

BECAUSE THE WRITERS ARE LIKE "CAN WE MAKE IT MORE OBVIOUS? I'M NOT SURE HOW!" so now we're at present day and here's a bit of crack spec-ing

THANKS FOR THIS LONG ASS META !!

YOU ARE WELCOME once again if i put that amount of effort into my dissertation, i'd be a phd with a published book or 3

This was a joy to read An utter joy This reaffirmed all my beliefs and got rid of all doubts I had

https://tenor.com/view/about-to-ugly-cry-ugly-cry-emotional-sensitive-crying-gif-8033343 i aim to please so now we have that O/B scene so we as the audience know something is off. bellamy was dragged sobbing and unconscious by his captors to suddenly being awake, fine, and killing a bunch of trained soldiers and holding someone hostage with his left hand. so then you have O, noticing something isn't quite right, casually bringing up clarke's name clarke. fucking. griffin. who bellamy had JUST brought back from the dead after learning she was alive and he's just... calm? about O possibly doing something with these psychos that's related to clarke? HE JUST POISONED HIS SISTER LIKE A WEEK AGO TO SAVE CLARKE'S LIFE i cannot stress this enough. bellamy fucking blake would not just go "huh?" when O, his sister that he's barely tolerating, goes "i'll tell you, you psychotic cultists, everything about my sister-in-law" and that's it. that's where i'm at s6 was about bellamy literally pulling clarke back from death s7 will be about clarke literally crossing time and space to get back to bellamy THIS IS AN EPIC FUCKING LOVE STORY AND ANYONE WHO THINKS OTHERWISE IS WRONG AND NOW I'M GOING TO TAKEA . SHOWER BECAUSE I SPILLED BEER ON MYSELF BUT I WILL BE BACK also i didn't think iw as drunk but then i reread that and started crying so it's definitely shower time

[teacubes]

I loved your last Identity V story! Could you make one similar but with Norton (Prospector) and Eli (Seer)?

Ahhh, thank you bb!! I'm really happy to hear that you love it, and yes! I hope you enjoy! ùwú 💕 And y'all really be out there showering me with my favourite characters— (although I never say it before LMFAO)

Pairings: Norton Campbell x reader, Eli Clark x reader

Tw: contains gore, deaths, yandere theme. Please proceed with caution

Norton Campbell:

This is the first time where he have the feeling of fear if he ever lose you

In the past, he doesn't hesitate or having a little bit of remorse over the deaths of his fellow miners

Just looking at you, he felt like you are just a delicate glass. Wrong move then you ended up broken or death

He just wanted to keep you in, sheltering you from the bad people outside

He will never ever and ever to hesitate throwing out his dynamite to people who wronged you, to people who hates you

He will keep you safe in his house, he won't even let you meet your family or friends

He will do anything to keep you in the house: cute dresses, story books and many more

You really want to go out because you want some fresh air? Sure bb, as long he is there alongside with you.

As long it's at beach or backyard, that's quite okay

You can't run away from him, he will literally massacre everyone or go legit mad

But if you did, don't expect you will allowed to be out of the house just because you want some 'fresh air'

Oh yeah, did I mention that every window has bars now?

Doors were always triggered by bells so he will know

In his free time, he probably just hug you and adore every parts of you

He will gently run through his fingers to your hair as he say something disturbing

“You are the most beautiful jewel I've ever found, you know? I would really really hate to lose you then explode everyone to pieces.”

Pretty sure he also say it with a disturbing smile when he look into your innocent eyes

He will humming some music as he comb your hair

“Swear to me, my lady. Swear to me that you will never ever leave me, or else I'm going go mad without you here...”

— ❁ * ✲ﾟ* ❁ —

Eli Clark:

He is smart af

Whatever you do to outsmart him, it failed drastically

Faked your death? You think he believe that?

His owl already tracking you down, it's all left for you to decide either surrender or him to hunt you down

Don't worry, he won't get mad but his smile just creep you out.

You have plenty of freedom, you can do anything you want which you appreciate him for that

But you didn't know that his owl follows you and the people who got too close to you were gone and dead af

But really, he just treat you as a goddess. He literally make you the happiest woman in life, as long you don't know what he did during in night

Bruh I stg this man doesn't like to fight but will literally throw hands for you in case somebody did dirty to you

He is a happy boy when he hears about you by his owl

Ngl tho he rather every second update to him because he just needs tO KNOW HOW ARE YOU DOING

If you get into a fight with a friend even it's your fault, he would just kill them off and say "They don't deserve you, darling”

You scared? Why you need to be scared when he is protecting you?

You better get used to it cause he ain't stopping it for you

But he won't kill right in front of you if you just nicely asked

I can't stress this enough how he would get flowers for you

But some might have tainted with blood but that's okay because it's the thought that counts, right?

Whatever you gave it to him, he will treasured it deeply

He make sure to wash his bloody hands off before touching it (remember wash yo hands guys)

“Darling, do you have a lot of fun from our little hide and seek game already?”

[dr3am-t3am]

quick comment i wanted to make on the fan art issue, that i would’ve put on twitter if it weren't for its stupid character limit

i really really do understand both sides. in all honesty, im not mad at all, bc i think the issue is more with twitter itself than either dream or the artists, but tensions got rlly high last night and i feel for everyone that was affected. i do wanna say tho, the twitter algorithm really puts artists at a h u g e disadvantage. 

to everyone and anyone affected, pls feel free to talk to me? and if you have fan art, feel free to message me w/ it. im v far from anything resembling a big account both here and on twitter, but i will definitely boost ur art if u send it ! we really can't expect ccs to see or boost our art, just from the crappiness of social media algorithms alone, but when artists work together to help each other and such we can still make sure that all of our art is appreciated and loved by the community. love y'all !! <3 <3 <3

more hypothetical discussion and thoughts under the cut

again, i am a fanartist. i am also a fanfic writer, and i started on tumblr, so i know that bc of my experiences, im gonna be a lot less? affected? i guess by limited interactions from ccs. on tumblr, there’s no way you're gonna get noticed by ccs (which is a perk, sometimes) and when you’re a fanfic writer you really dont even ask for positive attention you really just want people to stop giving you negative attention haha

that being said, i understand people’s frustration with dream bc he hasn’t been interacting as much with art. i maintain that this frustration should be more directed to the twitter algorithm, tho. 

(who’s ready for some hypothetical math?)

let’s say that an artist takes 1 hour to make one piece of art. this is honestly, really really dang fast, many detailed full pieces of art take 2-3 hours at least, and many others will take 8, 10, or even more. but we’re gonna give the artist the benefit of the doubt anyways and say that they take 1 hour. 

Now how about stan accounts? Let’s say that they make 5 posts an hour. This is honestly, probably a low ball! Each post takes a few seconds to make, a lot of the time, and plenty of accounts are much more active than posting every 12 minutes. But we’re gonna, again, make this situation the best possible situation for the artist, and let’s say that the stan account only posts 5 times an hour. Even with this situation, for each post that the artist makes, assuming that they @ dream every time, he’s going to see 5 posts by a stan account.

Artists also tend to be very outnumbered on twitter, so let’s say for every artist, there are 10 stan accounts. Let’s assume that they also make 5 posts an hour. So for each artist that shows up in dream’s notifications, he’s going to see 50 posts by stan accounts.

But artists get fatigued! We’re going to go with a high estimate again with 4 fully finished pieces a day. (this is insane! keep in mind, even if we’re lowballing the time put in, this is still 4 hours a day of art. for most artists, their fully finished pieces take 2, 3, 4 hours. four pieces a day would put them at 8-16 hours of work!!). on the other hand, stan account posts take a lot less time to make, and are much less likely to make them fatigued. Therefore, we can assume that the stan accounts, posting 5 times an hour, can stay active for 8 hours a day. 

What does this put us at? For every post that an artist makes with a fully finished piece of art, dream is seeing 100 notifications from stan accounts. This doesn’t even include how dream is more likely to respond to those who interact with his tweets, which is nigh impossible for artists because they cannot make a piece of art to reply to his posts in the ~5 minutes that he will look at the replies to the post he posts. I also made this situation the best possible situation for the artist. In reality, I can only make about one fully finished piece a day, and more often will go two or three days without posting. There are also far more stan accounts than artists, stan accounts are often active for longer than 8 hours and post more than once every 12 minutes. The real ratio might be more like 1 in 200, 300, 400. Just because of the algorithm, artists are pretty dang screwed.

Dream has been making efforts to help with this, such as through the dreamfanart tag! this manages to filter out all of the stan accounts, and when fan artists use it he’s going to be much more likely to see the art. even so, the amount of artists he will actually interact with is very low. it’s just the way the website works, when his notifications are definitely constantly flooded, when artists are so easily drowned out by the literal army of stan accounts on twitter. in the end, it’s really up to artists to hype each other up and support each other. My best advice for if you want more appreciation and interaction are:

1. use the dreamfanart tag! again, this manages to filter out most of the stan account activity, and will help other people to find your art if you’re a relatively new artist

2. self advertise! retweet your own art, reply with your art under people’s posts hyping up artists, dont be afraid to put yourself out there. if you want your voice to be heard in the sound of all these other accounts, you have to be loud!

3. interact with other artists! by helping and hyping up other artists, theyre more likely to do so with you. artists are a pretty small population of dttwt, and we have to support each other to get anywhere. retweet, like, reply to people’s art. follow dttwt artists and support them! 

4. love your art for what you’ve already done. this is the hardest part, especially when you put hours into a piece and see it get like, less than 10 likes. i have been there, and it sucks. but your art is Good. you put your time, effort, and heart into that, and regardless of how other people respond, you did good and im proud of you. <3

a last note: i have to admit, i wasn't the most comfortable with all of the dttwt artists bullying and venting their frustrations at dream, specifically, for “ignoring” fan artists. could he have interacted more? definitely. but i dont think he was by any means trying to “ignore” fan artists. his notifications are swamped, his tl is swamped. twitter works in a way where a day or two after you make a piece of art, it’s pretty much buried and lost forever. last night he was just trying to do a good thing by shouting out some small accounts in the community. fan artists, i am a part of you, and i feel your pain and frustration, but please don’t speak out of a place of anger. it’s far too easy to say something, publicly, that you’ll regret. i do not condone any of the hate sent anywhere, especially to fan artists last night, but let’s all remember to be kind and build each other up, ok? We’re all in this together, ccs, stan accounts, fan artists. we’re all doing this because we love the dteam and the content they make. don’t lose sight of why we’re here in the first place <3 

again, love you guys so much. take care of yourselves! im proud of all of you, fan artists, fanfic writers, any and all creators, as well as those of you who are just here to express your love for the dteam. be kind and support one another, ok? <3 

[vestzmc]

Ok now I did some research and finally fixed the ninjas into how they'd fit into the Magnus Institute so here's the stuff, GET READY FOR A RAMBLE :DDD

I have the notes

NOTES:

This AU's timeline is not the same as the original Magnus Archives' timeline! The ninja boys took over the institute long after Jon and the others passed away so have no fear of spoilers for the podcast aside from the existence of entities! :D

Context:

For those who don't understand the TMA universe it is a world where the supernatural exists and people who experience it goes to the Magnus Institute where they give a statement, via letter or a personal statment to the archivist who mostly reads the stories and records it by a tape recorder (because they're old style).

They put it in the records data and gather more information about the supernatural being on whether it is avoidable or could be solved. Sometimes it doesn't even need to get solved and a statment of a supernatural event is good enough.

This supernatural is tied to 14 entities that manufactures these beings through fears. Avatars are people who are tied to these beings either willingly or unwillingly by ritual which gives them certain abilities. You gotta die for it tho.

I'm not gonna go on full detail what these entities are but I will describe my important ones and their traits to have more context to the characters.

The Desolation: what a bitch this entity is, seriously. It's the entity that feeds on fear of pain, loss, burning, fear of unthinking or cruel destruction. Always has a grill party in the backyard. It has a cult.

The Eye: are you a private person? Well Nord VPN can't save you this time. It feeds on the fear of being watched, exposed, followed, having secrets known, drive to know and understand even if it destroys you. Fun times.

The Buried: feeds on the fear of being trapped, pressured, crushed, drowning, heaviness, and sinking. Kinda cool until you find yourself trapped in a coffin for 2 weeks.

The Vast: feeds on the fear of our own insignificance in this universe, loosing yourself in too much space. Basically 12 year old me.

The Web: you like spiders? Well, this entity manufacturers on the fear of being controlled, entrapped, being trapped and not knowing it, your will not being your own, or being manipulated. It is often seen in the symbol of spiders. *shivers*

The Hunt: i love this bitch, the Hunt is so gucci to listen in action. It is the animalistic and initial fear of being hunted/chased or becoming prey. It's Avatars are called Hunters and gain enhanced health and seem predatory and feral.

Now that the entities are out of the way

ON WITH THE CHARACTERS!

Kai Smith

He was invited by Wu to work on the Magnus Institute as a new archivist. Needing a job, Kai agrees where he meets Cole, Jay, and Zane where they soon become great friends after solving a statment that has been abandoned for dacades. Kai is unknowingly an Avatar of the Desolation, which gives Kai has the ability of sharply noticing things others don't, such as information or sentences that doesn't seem important but actually is. (y'all thought i'm giving him fire, hah! Let's not focus too much on that)

Jay Walker

Worked for the institute with Cole and Zane for 4 years before Kai became the new archivist. He works on finding information in high places such as police records or government files. Jay discovered the Vast entity when he was 14, living in the desert with his parents and kind of became an Avatar by accident because he really freaked out when he was suddenly lost in sand dunes with no one around. He has the ability to paralyze people, locking them in place as if frozen even if they're on air.

Cole Brookstone

I've seen plenty of people put Cole as the Avatar of the Buried but GET THIS: HUNTER COLE. Enhanced strength and health, hunts down mosters and avatars he'd love to kill??? :DDD He did get into loads of trouble that connects to the Buried entity but he never really terrified of it so, maybe it's like a respectable fear for it to Cole. He works as the protector and searcher for the institute, the first person hired unwillingly by Wu by binding but soon got used the institute and Wu. At least he can still freely move from place to place rather than just staying in the institute. He can hunt down people easily with just a place and a name and as a Hunter he has this ability to know where people are by touching the ground.

Zane Julien

Second hire after Cole, so both of them are quite close. Zane is orphaned at a young age and couldn't remember remember anything before that. Was hired by Wu which he accepted. Zane was poorly troubled at the thought of his unknown past that he nearly went to the hospital on how unhealthy his research was. The Eye soon made Zane a Avatar, from Zane going mad by paranoia and fear of where he came from that Cole had to stop his hunting schedules and keep Zane down and help him. Zane and Cole eventually was able to heal from Zane's lost past by jokingly making up stories of where Zane came from when Jay arrived. They sometimes tell Jay he is a emperor from japan, that he is a robot heavyly programed to do good and cook kickass food, that Zane trained in a clan of ninjas before Jay learned not to trust anything the two were saying. Jay and Zane enjoy talking alot since they'te both knowledgeable on tech than Cole and Kai. Zane has the ability to put ideas into people's heads that affect their actions, that the 'victim' would think said actions was their idea, like walking out a door.

Lloyd Garmadon

Not part of the Institute. He's a student journalist that goes around poking into people's business and most especially into the Magnus Institute's records which gave a bit of a bad first impression on the guys when they caught him snooping. Lloyd is however allowed access in because of Wu's influences and soon became friends with Kai first, then the others. Lloyd isn't a Avatar which is great because being controlled by an entity kinda sucks but Lloyd is hunted often by the Web because of his fears of being controlled without his will and him going after people and areas with supernatural encounters because, journalism! Cole babysits Lloyd from afar. He often finds comfort around the ninja crew and likes spending time with them other than in school where he's often avoided and ridiculed by his peers. After several weeks the ninjas have all decided that they are willing to die for Lloyd, who they all treat as a younger sibling. Also! Lloyd is totally trans in this au.

And that's that for now! Might write about the side characters if any of you guys want more. It's kinda OOC about the avatars really because it basically canonically takes loads of years for an entity to charge up enough energy to posses an avatar but eh, creative writing for power using boys.

Also you guys probably noticed I didn't make the boy's abilities as their original elements? weeeellll it's kinda because it has to fit in the tma universe where everything is more subtle than outgoing when it comes to powers.

I also noticed that the only way I can write long ass sentences is when I ramble so that's a thing.

Have a great day! Statement ends.

[onyx-void]

Answer 1 through 50

Okay. You called my bluff. (ok not really a bluff, tbh, thank you I appreciate you) Unfortunately, we're having an internet outage where I live, so this is gonna take a while. Also, I have to do this on the webpage, on my phone, cause otherwise I can't have an 'under the cut.'

1. Do you have a crush on anyone?

I suppose you could call it a crush. That's one layer to how I feel. Like an onion :p

2. What's your favorite candy?

Ferror Roche, or however you spell it, Unless it's a holiday, then I Love those chocolate covered marshmallow treats. 

3. Favorite love song? 

I don't really listen to music much, tbh, love songs included. The first one to come to mind is "Love Story" by Taylor Swift. My favorite when I actually think about it has to be "You Are My Sunshine" by Johnny Cash. 

4. What was your first kiss like?

My first kiss. I had my first kiss last year, actually, at the same age I am now, 22. That was my first date, too, such as it was during a pandemic. I hadn't -still haven't, I guess- had many 'first's.' It was awkward, but nice. Chaste, to start. 

5. What was your last kiss like? 

My last kiss, was a goodbye.

6. Sexual/romantic orientation?

I'm reasonably sure I'm straight, heteroromantic. I've questioned all my orientations several times over the years, but nothing seems to fit as well as that does.

7. Do you prefer poems or love letters?

I would be over the moon to get either. I've written a few poems, though they weren't For anyone. I would prefer love letters, though. Poems can wax and wain to the individuals interpretation, but love letters can declare for all to see. 

8. Favorite fanfic trope?

God, I'm Super self-indulgent with my fanfic. I love Mary Sue's, fix-it, time travel, amnesia, self-insert. I want everything to be okay, and for the main character to be able to have at least some idea of what challenges they'll face. 

9. Have you ever been in love?

Have been, still am.

10. Favorite milkshake flavor?

Strawberry. Also favorite ice cream flavor. Chocolate's fine, but strawberry Hagen Daaz is The Best. (tbh it's also a sorta reference to my fav character/anime, Ryougi Shiki from Kara no Kyoukai. It's also just damn good ice cream tho

11. Dinner dates or Brunch dates?

Dinner dates could be a great end to the day, but brunch date leaves the possibility for a full day together to look forward to, so I'll go with that.

12. Favorite flowers?

Sunflowers. Though lilacs are nice too.

13. Favorite perfume/cologne?

I've used a vanilla sugar scent in the past? Don't use or have others use it enough to have a favorite.

14. Favorite candle scent?

I got a pack of incense a while back, a dozen different scents. I think my favorite is called Celestial. It's smells like... lavender and petrichor and stardust, I suppose.

15. What's your ideal first date? 

Ideal, so everything's perfect. Hiking in the woods, a mountainous area, lots of ups and downs and winding paths and beautiful colors and views. We come to a clearing, and a picnic I've prearranged is already set up next to a glittering lake. We sit, and eat, and talk. 

16. What's your favorite love story?

Just the other day, I was finally able to watch The Princess Bride. I absolutely loved it. 

17. What's the most attractive thing a person could wear? 

Easy. One of my shirts, and that's all that's visible. Could they be wearing something underneath it? Maybe. But you can't be sure, unless they show you one way or another  It's a sort of, are they aren't they thing. That said, it works for just about anything where you can't tell if they're wearing short shorts or something, but it works best if it's something more casual than a dress, like a oversized hoodie or shirt. 

18. Chocolate, vanilla, or red velvet?

Chocolate. Vanillas alright, red velvets gross.

19. Snow, rain, or sun? 

God, we just got snow here that Actually Lasted All Day. That's a miracle tbh. I absolutely love it. 

20. Sweetest romantic memory?

We were swinging at the local park, just talking. And I looked over, and the sun was shining through the trees onto the face of an angel. I could have spent eternity in that moment.

21. Favorite dating sim? (And favorite character?)

The only dating sims I know are yandere dating sim, and hautiful boyfriend. Favorite character in general is Ryougi Shiki

22. Fictional crushes?

...Ryougi Shiki...

23. What's your dream wedding like?

It's a small affair, outside, in our backyard on our plant of land, amongst the orchards and vegetable gardens. There's a living arch made of roses I've been growing in secret in preparation, and the bride's bouquet is made from cuttings we took on the spot. The sun is shining, everyone's full of joy, and our love is sure. 

24. What makes you blush?

Sincere expressions of love, or even just Being Known. If you say you care for me I Will Melt and that is a Threat.

25. Do you believe in love at first sight? 

I have to. I can't disregard my own experiences. That said, it's important to say that love is also something you work towards, together, day in and day out. It's not always hard work, it might not even seem like work, but it's an active thing. 

26. Do you believe in soulmates?

I think there are several people you can meet over the course of your life you can call a soulmate. 

27. Denim jackets, leather jackets, or bomber jackets?

Leather jackets cause I live in Texas. Otherwise, bomber jackets.

28. What's your sign?

Taurus. Lmk if you want my complete chart from that star app.

29. Are you single?

Unfortunately.

30. Do you prefer to charm, or be charmed?

I think I'm quite charming, I'd definitely say I'm in touch with people, though my execution probably leaves something to be desired. That said, I Love to be charmed. Tell me you like me, tell me I'm wanted. Hell yeah.

31. Guitar or piano?

Piano. Love the classics. I was actually looking at how much pan flutes cost just the other day. 

32. Favorite romcom? (Or any romantic movie?)

Once again going with The Princess Bride here.

33. Do you fall in love easily?

Far too easily, I'm afraid. Show your interest in me, and you'll catch mine in you. Doesn't happen very often, though. And if it's just something like a dating profile, I'm far pickier. 

34. Valentine's decorations, yay or nay?

If it's something personal, absolutely. As long as it has meaning, it's worth it. Even if the holiday itself is just to sell cards. 

35. Would you like to propose, or be proposed to? What's your dream proposal?

I would propose, after it's been made mutually clear and discussed we're both up for it. As a kid I dreamed about proposing on one of those boat rides under Niagara Falls. Now, I think it'd be during a hike, on an overlooking cliff, basically like my ideal first date, actually. That, or somewhere personal to the two of us. 

36. Cloud gazing or star gazing?

Star gazing, definitely. Out under the stars, looking up and sneaking glances at each other. Telling stories and making up constellations. What's not to love?

37. Do you like to dance?

Oooh, no. I've never danced, not really the social dancing type. Never really took the opportunity too.

38. What's your OTP?

....Ryougi Shiki and Mikiya Kokuto

39. Kittens or puppies?

You're gonna make me CHOOSE?! ...puppies, because they're more lively and willing to interact with me, generally speaking. 

40. Coffee, hot chocolate, or tea?

Hot chocolate. Never got into coffee, I want to like hot tea, but eh. Iced tea is good tho y'all. 

41. Favorite soda?

God as a kid I Devoured grape Crush soda. Like. 24 cans a week. Mainly drink juice nowadays. Or choccy milk

42. Do you prefer gazing wistfully out the window or lying dramatically on the sofa?

Window, definitely. Light as well have a view if I've gotta be dramatic, right?

43. Favorite ABBA song?

"Take a Chance on Me" followed shortly by "Dancing Queen"

44. Fuck/Marry/Kill?

You didn't name anyone, so... Fuck Lauren German (I've been watching Lucifer) Marry the one I love, and kill, idk, Trump?

45. Favorite pajamas?

For myself? They're fleece, I think. Usually I just sleep in my boxers tho. For my theoretical partner? How about my boxers ;)

46. Favorite liquor?

I've never had any alcohol, and I don't really intend to.

47. Do you think about love alot?

Every day. It's what drives me.

48. A walk in the park or a walk on the beach?

Walk in the park. More cover ;)

49. Hand kisses or nose kisses?

How about a hand kiss going up the arm, slowly, sensually, all the way up the arm, to the shoulder, taking a stop on the side of the neck, and right before it gets to the lips... Nose kisses.

50. What's your dreamhouse?

It's in a mountainous area. On at least 5 acres. Plenty of woods with trails in them, bordering a national park. On my land, there's an orchard of fruit trees, and greenhouses with herbs and vegetables. The house itself is actually japanese inspired. There's an outdoor garden you can access after coming through the entrance. The bedroom door is a sliding one, through a shortened circular opening. The whole thing gives off a cozy feeling. The love of my life has made their presence known in every room of the house.

[savnofilter]

plzz, grow up. youre always complaining about how hard you hav it when there are so much worse that could happening. starvation, illiteracy, bullying, physical abuse, etc. and youre sad bcuz you feel insecure? as a person, youre actually quite mean. people like you make me sick.

You know, if you really had your money at your words you would’ve done this off Anonymous but you’re clearly a pussy ass bitch to do so. Since you think I’m a bitch or an asshole or an asswipe (whichever you’d like to prefer), I just wanted to water your crops and respond to you in that manner. You’re welcome. I will write you an essay since you’re just an angry fan who wants attention.

1. There’s a reason why I haven’t properly stated my reasons for being like I am the way I am, but since you want to be all up in my coochie hairs, this is my business.

- losses in the family.

- stresses of school.

- responsibilities i have to take care of because I can’t just drop out because i “feel insecure”.

- wanting to reach out but my feelings and thoughts are always twisted because I am shit at words/or seen as stupid reasons to be upset.

- legit being called a rape apologist that triggered me from past experiences, sent my already deteriorating mental health into shit hole.

- being body shamed at a place that felt second home at.

- wanting to do my favourite hobby on earth but not being able to do it because I have no energy for it/not wanting to leave my followers hanging who are excited for things and not post at all (which I’ve been doing but I sincerely apologize).

2. What the fuck makes you think I have never struggled before? I am genuinely curious. Because I can write? Because I try to be nice to people on my blog? Because until now I don’t hide that yeah, I’m not in the best place? You’re such an asshole for even trying to invalidate my feelings and its happened way too many times in my life to let someone like you even attempt to do it. Maybe you’re attacking me because I am young. Maybe you’re attacking me because you need to blow off some steam. 

I legit don’t know what your reason is, but YOU need to grow up LMAO like your ass in ANONYMOUS right now kik like whaaaaaat. My cock isn’t yours so hop off it okay? Never called you my slut but you all up in my pussy boy.

3. Also to further my point in bullet one, why is it that I can’t feel insecure? It’s not like I wake up with a mental breakdown not feeling myself on purpose. It’s not like I wake up and go “okay what can I be depressed about today” – because quite frankly if I had the choice guess what? I wouldn’t choose it lmao. 

Just like many artists like Billie Eilish, what’s wrong with admitting that you aren’t okay? Like how is that immature? The first step to the healing process is to know the issue, second step is finding out the root of the problem. Since I know myself, me saying that is basically a forewarning like “my emotions are fucked up at the moment, so I might be an asshole because what the fuck are feelings?”.

And you know what? When you’re often a second choice, or someone shows absolute affection towards you and makes it seem you’re the only one then they do it to everyone else then yeah it does get to you. But from what I’ve read, you’re too much of a pretentious bitch to have ever experienced that and people probably bend to everything you say and that is why you don’t like me. I don’t act the way you want me to. And you were probably the one all up in my inbox asking me age like a creepy bitch like that is none of your flip flacking fucking business (apologies if the anon who asked that isn’t, its weird. dont do it lol).

4. Yeah I make you sick? I’m mean? Since you have not provided any statements nor receipts for me too refute, yeah everyone can be a bitch. I mean just look at you sugar. Anyways, I will be showing the pros and cons of talking to me, so you know, people like you,,, don’t,,,,, get,,,,,, sick,,,,,,,,

pros:

I am nice - unlike popular belief or your opinion and no, not to be cliche. yeah sometimes when i talk its like “… why the fuck would you say that?” because sometimes I just don’t know. So it’s better to tell someone then I’m sitting here like

after it hits the fan.

I am very supportive - bro, you having a hard time? Hold up where is the remaining of my happy energy to give to you! You need a heart meme? Writing piece? Like I got you. Feel like your stuff isn’t worth it? You don’t feel worth it? I got you. Like no cap.

Loyal - you give me the same energy, I vibe it back to you love. That’s all. You shower me in love, I shower you in love. You never forget me or always talk to me, I do the same. It’s how you do it babe.

cons:

there’s a reason why my blog name is “savnofilter” - and imma explain it good. Well here’s a backstory ain’t nobody asked for so here it is. 

So in 7th grade, moved to my new town I live in – shit at first kinda alright now. We had this assignment in our poetry unit, and that was to get the class divided and have a rap battle and whoever won I don’t fucking know got extra credit or some shit (my brain is old at this point, can’t remember shit lol). So in this assignment, we had to make, a rapper name. And I wanted it to be cringey (yes, that was the vocabulary used-). I had to think long and hard because mane I ain’t ever thought of shit like that until my friend was like, “hey, why don’t you go with savage because you say wild things and don’t care” and I was like,,,,, oh shit mane, U RIGHT. Then I was like, that isn’t enough. I need more, more flare. So I dozed off then sat up like “oKAY A CONCEPT THO, HOW ABOUT NO FILTER?! SAvage… No Filter? Saying it out loud sounds like absolute rubbish.” So I had to think again, what name clicks? 

I had already locked in that I have no filter because I don’t give a fuck, so whats next?Sav[redacted]nofilter (blurred because you’d be able to find me somewhere NOT related to writing LMAO). So yeah, because I’m a savage. I genuinely do not care what I am saying. And no, not in a way that I’m saying something insensitive and going “its mah trademark!” its because I don’t care. I’m a savage with no filter.  

If you piss me off or ignore what I’ve said or belittled me – whatever I will not hold back! period! - I dont have much explaining for that but there it is. take it how you will. 

I am piss poor shit at words - I know plenty of you will read this and be like “but u write? 👁️👄👁️”. So you guys know those people who need like a puppet to speak properly, or sing so they don’t stutter? That’s basically me. If it’s not an actual work or anything I can’t comprehendddddd. Then again I’ve learned to just hold on my feelings since I use to be a crybaby and such. I just horde my feelings until they get worse, like now. I’ve now just realized this so I’ll be talking with my therapist into easing me into sharing how I feel. Which furthers my next point -

I have constipated feelings - so, you can say, that my feelings a shit (y'all saw what I did there LMAOOOOO).

I vibe with how you vibe with me - pro if you do it right, con if you do it wrong. My mum has always said that I tap into peoples energies too much, but its because I like helping people, I like helping people feel secure and everything is alright but it backfires when someone isn’t giving me the same energy.

At this point, I’m not mad anymore. I know who wrote this anyways by the end of this so I apologize for my language earlier ;;. If you truly wanted to speak with me, I would’ve appreciated it lol. I’m just hurt you chose to do it in such a destructive manner, even including someone else in it as well. 

oh oh!! yes, i get vague visions of who be all up in my inbox so theres that. thisll be last time i take anyone serious on anon, so future anons you can cuss em out if youd like lol.

[dyketectivecomics]

Are you even aware that Jonah Hex fought for the confederacy sold black people and treated them like crap and his books was knee deep in racism and freaking Bendis is trying to scrub that under a rug by giving him a queer legacy? Lgtb deserve better representation than granddaughter of slave trader (who apparently got cause let's keep all the stereotypes around while we're at it)

Are YOU even aware that Jonah Hex was sold into slavery by his father, and defected from the confederacy after learning that supporting them meant supporting that very same system of oppression that he himself was a victim of?

No, I guess not. Because that would require you to actually read his wikipedia page. It seems a miracle you can read or write at all, anon, since all of your brain cells can’t seem to function beyond sending trolling asks to try to stir up drama.

(I’ll dive a bit further, since you apparently want a Reaction. But the rest of y'all don’t have to worry about this clogging up your dash, since I’m putting a cut right here. If i get any more clownery about Jonah &/or Jinny Hex in my ask, you’re getting a thorough mock & a block. blacklisting and the block button are there for a reason guys. If Jinny or Jonah ain’t your cup of tea, regardless, I suggest using those tools &/or unfollowing me, because I can and will continue to reblog content with them (Especially Jinny, because, well. Jinny).)

Any story, in ANY medium, that covers an historical time, would need to address the racist (& if applicable, misogynistic) attitudes of the time period it is set in. Are those stories going to always be handled 100% unproblematically? Hell no. There’s lots of things that make me uncomfortable with any western movie/book/show that finds its origins in the antebellum south. Do I enjoy them regardless? Yes. Because I can separate the things that make me uncomfortable from things that are used to highlight a change in attitudes towards race &/or women, versus an author using the time period as an excuse to act out racist/misogynistic power fantasies.

But I’ll go ahead and bite one tidbit at a time here. “His books are knee-deep in racism.”

It’s been a LONG ass time since I’ve read a Jonah Hex comic. Or rather, had it read to me, since Dad read a few of his comics to me when I was TINY ass kid (god like? When I was 6/7? I had a very brief Western Phase then.) We ended up watching more westerns than reading them. I’m sure there’s plenty of #Problematic things to be found in the comics themselves. Hell, even just his origin with being ‘sold as a slave’ to an Apache tribe & subsequently ‘taken in’ by them is something we could spend hours and paragraphs tearing apart.

Recognizing something is wrong & calling it out is perfectly fine. But something so many ‘fans’ on tumblr fail to realize is that nothing will be 100% pure. Older comics especially are riddled with racism, and it’s important to recognize those tones. But if you expect me to preface every post I make about Jonah Hex from now with “sorry sorry, I know these comics were racist tho” you must be out of your damn head. 

Now for “Bendis is trying to scrub that under the rug by giving him a queer legacy”

Hon, no one is saying that Jinny’s existence automatically erases everything the writers have done with Jonah’s character. Hell, most people (fans included) aren't even aware of Jinny’s existence at this point in time unless they’re involved with reading comics. Jonah Hex’s “legacy” will survive well past whatever Bendis chooses to do with Jinny. Hell, I won’t be surprised if, after this run of Young Justice is over, she’s swept under the rug by DC & promptly forgotten. Because that’s usually what happens with next gen/legacy characters. People would rather read on ‘The Originals’ not their descendants. (the only hero I can think of off the top of my head who surpassed the legacy of their predecessor would be Zatanna vs Zatara. But she’s also had 40+ years to work to that point.)

What has been done with Jonah’s character in the past, and what Bendis & other writers choose to do with Jinny’s character in the future have nothing to do with one another. If Bendis chooses to integrate more of Jonah beyond just “here’s a weird old truck from his adventures, have fun with that!”, I’d love to see it & dissect it. Until then, there’s really only the name, and what’s looking to be the fantastical side of his adventures, rather than anything with historical weight.

“The LGBT community deserves better” (again, let’s keep in mind that your little ‘slave trader’ line there as a complete lie & the rest is just incomprehensible gibberish bc I’m gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and say you pressed ‘send’ too soon in your haste to troll.)

As a queer, hispanic Texan, I could not disagree more. Who’s ancestor HASN’T done awful things in the past? Show me someone who has a completely pure legacy free of benefit from oppressing those of another race/gender/origin/etc. We all have a fucked up history. It’s our collective human history.

LGBT history itself is built on the backs of trans women of color.

Including one more (presumably, but she IS Texan so we’ll see if they expand to make her hispanic) white wlw character is hardly new, groundbreaking representation here in 2019. But it’s progress. It’s progress where there could have JUST AS EASILY been absolutely NO representation. This shouldn’t be something that I’m absolutely ECSTATIC to see. Queer representation off all kinds should be standard. 

But they aren’t.

So am I going to celebrate the fact that DC has given me a queer wlw character from an area very close to the one that I am from? An historically conservative place, mind you, where being LGBT+ can just as soon mean putting yourself in danger on the day-to-day when you live in a small, conservative Texas town?

Abso-fucking-lutely, I am. 

(And not that I believe that you are, anon. But if you’re following me, I kindly suggest you hop the fuck off my blog and go follow someone else. I’m gonna be over here celebrating what representation I can. And if I feel like sharing an analysis on racist overtones of older/newer comics, I will do so because it interests me to discuss it or because I decide to. Not because some ass decides NOW needs to be the time to ‘discuss’ it, if we can even call this pathetic attempt at trolling a ‘discussion’.

[databard]

Tagged by the inimitable @interstellarvagabond! Ya big galoot

Rules: answer 21 questions and tag 21 people that you’d like to get to know better. (Make a separate post.)

1.) Nickname: [my last name] because there are too many damn Davids running around apparently. Also Bomblin to one person thanks to one time I got very drunk and created a drink for him that neither of us will ever remember how to make, but was apparently v e r y good

2.) Zodiac: Virgo, cusp of Libra!

3.) Height: 5' 6"

4.) Last movie I saw: uhhhhh, well knocking out the entirety of The Librarians in a weekend doesn't count I guess so... I guess it must have been Seven Psych*paths?

5.) Last thing I googled: Artie Lang, yes it was about his nose

6.) Favorite musicians: like, individuals? Probs Hozier, Joe Satriani, Evan Drachman, St. Vincent, Bunny Bennett, etc. They're the first to mind. But also everyone in San Fermin and Here Come the Mummies

7.) Song stuck in my head: thanks to the last question, Honeybee by Steam-Powered Giraffe, but also Me and the Man in the Moon by Frank Salvano and The Ambassadors thanks to the This Isn't Normal podcast (which y'all need to go check out if you're into liveplay RPG podcasts or wacky 20's shenanigans involving demons and bumbling 20-something investigators)

8.) Other blogs: the all-but-defunct @inkwelldiving is where I put some of my writing stuff and plan(ned) to put more but?????

9.) Do I get asks?: uhhhh like once every blood moon or something

10.) Followers: 493

11.) Following: 1284

12.) Amount of sleep: average about 5-8hrs, days off I can go for like, 14 tho

13.) What am I wearing: black joggers, black tee from our last summer reading program but inside out because I just got home from a performance of The Laramie Project that I'm in. It was a t h i n g.

14.) Dream job: librarian, at this point I'm thinking research would be interesting but general or reader's advisory would be best

15.) Dream trip: I have a weird thing with traveling? There aren't a lot of places that I actively want to/think about going, but there are plenty of places I'd like to see if I get the chance. I guess the dream trip would be a leisurely globe trot to experience every possible place?

16.) Favorite food: yes

17.) Play any instruments?: I'm a bit rusty, but cello, guitar, and bass guitar. I've dabbled in harmonica and melodica as well. These days I'm mostly a vocalist if anything (easier instrument to transport)

18.) Favorite song: Ra Ra Ra by Here Come the Mummies

19.) Random fact about me: I was born in Germany, but only stayed there long enough that I'm not allowed to donate blood! Thanks mad cow epidemic of the 90's!

20.) Describe yourself as aesthetic things: a room full of books, there is a semblance of attempted order but soon you can see it dissolves into stacks of vaguely relevant titles that cover every surface save a path to a desk, a novelty mug of coffee on that desk, the 3D printed owlbear next to the novelty mug, cardigans

21.) Who are you tagging? These lovelies: @witchfinder-major-saucepan @sweet-twisted-princess @donttemptmeiknowyourmother @luxidy @iheartchocolatecroissants @magewart @diddlysquash @micro-hippo @itherienmollymauk @spainstateofmind @coolandkitschy @queercateer @sleeps-the-crimson-petal @thekittennamedkat @procrastinationwarzone @throughdepthsofheight @somehow-falling-up @dandyfrau @armrry @smidvargandthegang @desertbat

Have fun!

[felicityb-reviews]

Review Roundup - Week 1 January 2018

Hello babies!! Welcome to your debut Review Roundup for Week 1 of January 2018!!! I'm really excited to launch this series, because while I do love doing reviews, sometimes the only thing I can say about a song is "I like it, it was good". I also wanted a place I could spotlight releases from less popular acts (or even less conspicuous releases, sometimes) who don't exactly have 2309342 million fandom pages. This is a great way to combine that, I guess.

Before we begin, some ~rules~

For a song to eligible, it has to have an official video. Even if it's basically some shit an intern made in Final Cut Pro in five seconds, before uploading it. I just need to know that it's an ~official~ release.

No OSTs!! 90% of them are dry ass ballads, and I do not have the time, sis!! No OSTs!! /Edna Mode voice

And on that note, I might choose to skip a certain release, because I have nothing to say about it. Or nothing nice that isn't constructive criticism.

Yes, each video has a Rating™. Do not get hung up on said Rating, cause it's basically meaningless; it's just an arbitrary number based on how much I liked the particle song, mixed with how well I thought the song was written.

Just like with my Feature Spotlights, the blurbs here are just my opinion, sis. Please do not get hung up on what some gay bitch on the Internet has to say about your fave. I'm hella arrogant, but my words are not of God.

So now that we got that out of the way (Even though I'm 90% sure some bitch is gonna try my ass), our list begins with...

Grown Up (Soyou)

Grown Up is pretty standard fare for a Starship ballad. The company has always submerged themselves in RnB and Gospel sensibilities, and it shows here. Miss Soyou takes us to church with Grown Up. A very nice song which I appreciate, but will probably not listen to much, unless I'm in a Ballad Bitch™ mood.

Rating - 3.5/5

TRCNG - Wolf Baby

"Ooh bitch... You mighta just did something there"

That was my first reaction to Wolf Baby, fam. I was ready and willing to write the song off, because the teaser did not show it off in the best light (it sounded like a demo of Hyosung's Into You, according to a friend) and the visual was more of the boys showing off their dance skill. Which is never a bad thing... Except when it's literally the same shit we've seen 20 million times from similar boy bands. But Wolf Baby delivers in full. Unlike the God awful Spectrum which takes after B.A.P in the worst of ways, Wolf Baby sounds and feels more like a Secret song (which sounds a lot better than you think it would). Wolf Baby shows that these boys have personality that can translate to the music, and Lord knows we need more of that in K-pop boy bands. I'm so tired of being charmed by these boys in variety, but utterly bored by their music.

Rating - 4/5

Think about (Seo Ji An featuring KLANG)

Lissen... Whoever wrote this song needs to give me a refund. That intro had me thinking this was gonna a bombastic radio ballad. Like, they were about to hit me with that Ryan Tedder throwback shit. But instead, all I got was soft falsetto and a limp piano line.

Talk about a boner killer, sis.

But once I got over myself (and the song started to pick up), I realized that it was actually pretty nice. Nothing I'd put into heavy rotation, but this would be good shuffle bait.

(Sidenote - if anyone can find me anything on the female vocalist, KLANG, I will give you a hug and a cookie, because I really liked her voice)

Rating - 3/5

XOXO (Soyeon of LABOUM x Park Jae Jung)

We're getting a jump start on the Springtime love duets, I see. I can't say I'm entirely mad, tho. XOXO, like Seo Ji An's Think about, falls within a category of songs I like to call shuffle bait. They're not terrible songs, but they're also not ones I feel obligated to put on heavy rotation. They're good for those days when you don't know what you wanna listen to or need some soft background sounds, so you put your music on shuffle. Not a category one should aspire to be in, but not one to be mad at for falling into, either.

I'm very happy that Global H made this a duet, cause Soyeon's overly bright tone could have tired out the ears very easily if she had to sing this by herself. And not only that, but Park Jae Jung provides a nice foil to Soyeon's voice with his smooth tone. All in all, a very nice song.

Rating - 3.5/5

Honey Tea (OOHYO)

Miss OOHYO is givin us a little Bassa Nova in her Honey Tea, you guise!!

Honey Tea is another shuffle bait song that almost makes it in the Heavy Rotation camp with it's interesting choice of instrumental interludes; but alas, she doesn't quite make the cut. There's something about the production here that doesn't quite mesh right; the song elements don't meld into one another like they should, especially with such ~agreeable~ (for lack of a better word) elements as these. This song is really nice for what it is (the melancholic atmosphere nice for those days when you just wanna brood like an angsty teenager), but I needed just a little bit more.

Rating - 2.5/5

Like Paradise (Kriesha Chu)

Something tells me that Future Bass is going to be everywhere in Kpop this year like Tropical House was last year, and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that. On one hand, you have Svt's Don't Wanna Cry and LONG:D x Kim Doyeon's All Night that are masterfully made songs. But then you have BTS's Best of Me and Kriesha Chu's Like Paradise, both of which are so fucking beige it makes me wanna slam my face into a wall. And it's really sad because, unlike Best of Me, Like Paradise starts out with a great verse. But then the prechorus goes right into generic territory with a chorus that's so anybody, it's almost frightening.

Kriesha Chu exploded onto the scene with a familiar formula in Trouble, but she did enough to make it her bitch, so idk what happened here. A friend mentioned that she feels as though she's heard this melody fifteen times, and I wouldn't be surprised if she has. This song isn't bad, but it don't got no soul. Which is a shame, because Miss Kriesha Chu has plenty to go around.

Rating - 2/5

Blah (Planetarium Case #1)

Now this is a song that took me by surprise. I was not expecting that Tropical style beat to kick in when the verse started, but I mean... Y'all know how I am with anything and everything Tropical inspired. And then they had the nerve to combine that heaux with RnB style instrumation?!?!!

Bitch...

I wanna be mad at how much I like this song. I really do. I wanna care about how the vocalist's voice is a touch too bright and whiny for that kind of vocal processing (it's faint, but it's there). I wanna feel some type of way about how that kind of vocal processing isn't really suited to this type of song. I would like to have some kind of critique here, but everything just slots together in a way that I can ignore the little things I don't care for.

Sis, idk how these underground labels know me well enough to make such targeted attacks against me like this, but I'm not mad. In fact, I'm very okay with that if I get to walk away with songs like Blah. Can we get more of this, instead of Future Bass or whatever other kooky trends are gonna rule K-pop this year?!?!!

Rating - 4/5

Foresight Dream (Younha)

Hello, Miss Younha!! It's nice to see you giving us something other than classical ballads like some kind of Baek JiYoung knockoff.

...was that mean?!?!!? Okay yeah, that was mean. Oh whatever, it isn't like other people weren't thinking it.

Copious amounts of shade aside, I'm been very here for what Younha has been doing, musically, since Get It. She's swapped out the ballads for a more RnB/Pop sound that's very in line with what the K-RnB World has been doing lately, and I couldn't be happier. Foresight Dream is a dreamy piano driven song that's a bit too downtempo in groove to qualify as an Acoustic Coffee Shop RnB Midtempo, but still has enough drive to feel like it's actually going somewhere. And Younha's voice sounds amazing. She's got a voice very similar to Alice from HV's, but Younha has more depth to her tone. All in all, a very magical experience.

One critique I have (and it's not even of the music) is that I'd have liked if Younha had released Foresight Dream before the GroovyRoom produced Parade. With the way Parade followed the ph-1 assisted Hello, I had assumed that she was done releasing songs. But with Foresight Dream coming after those two, it kind feels like it dampens her momentum. Idk, I'm just being a picky bitch.

Rating - 4/5

wewantourmoneyback (Giriboy)

*sigh*

This nigga talmbout how he want his money back, but I want my fucking time back from listening to this hot mess.

Okay, let me roll back the shade for a second. This song really isn't that bad. I've heard F A R worse from the likes Jay Park, Zico, and Dok2. But dude, this is a touch too fucking generic for a winter release. You couldn't have saved this for summer?!?!? When niggas is actually trynna shake they ass to generic trap beats?!?!

To be honestly, I'm tired of hearing these kinds of songs in K-HipHop. Especially from dudes who have tones like Giriboy. Their voices are whiny as fuck all, and these kinds of beats usually have a lot of higher tones in the mix (for those who are too bougie to listen to trap, producers typically use high, tinny synths as the main instrument in trap beats), so it's just a headache in the making. It's already hard enough to make a trap song without it sounding too repetitive, but these fools have truly tired me out with this genre. I can't even think of something to say about this song, cause it's just so generic.

Rating - 1/5

Paint Me (Mamamoo)

I'm sorry... MamaWHOMST?!?!?!!

Jokes aside, I'm not quite sure how I feel about this song. Mamamoo is a group that I once loved, but all that went sour when they decided to do blackface in concert (and then post a BTS video of getting into costume for said stage a week after posting an apology). And if I'm being honest here, their only good songs are You're The Best and Piano Man. I stanned for their other tracks for the culture; I liked what they did with the songs live. I didn't really listen to them, but tis the life of a K-Pop stan.

In retrospect, it's quite interesting how Mamawhomst Mamamoo haven't promoted a big power ballad like Paint Me before. The instrumentation is basic as all fuck, but it allows emphasis to be put on their vocals. Which are half the reason Mamawhomst Mamamoo survived Nugudom, in the first place. But as great as their voices are in this song, it just doesn't go anywhere. It throws you from one extreme to the other, and then ends. It's hella polarizing, and not something I really wanna put myself through with repeated listens.

Rating - 2.5/5

A Day I Want To Love (HEYDAY featuring Lim Eun Young)

A Day I Want To Love is a very typical classical ballad, and while that usually has me running for the hills, I decided to give it a chance. And I mean, this isn't a song that I'd put into Heavy Rotation, but it'd fit in very nicely with all the songs I download to use as shuffle bait. I'd also quite like to hear this sung live. Idk, I just feel like it'd come off better that way.

Rating - 3/5

OGZ (Jo Woochan x Park Hyunjin x Achillo)

I don't understand this song.

That's not to say that it's bad. The beat reminds me of wewantourmoneyback, but GroovyRoom decided to make a more interesting remix of it. And the boys all hand in amazing verses. But idk, yo. This song just feels weird as all fuck.

Rating - 4/5

Missing You (VOISPER)

How fitting that this is the song that closes out the main list week. Missing You is another lowtempo shuffle bait track (the mood for this week, apparently), but this time around, we get some horns in the mix. Which I greatly appreciate, because without them, this song would have been extremely boring. VOISPER have nice voices, but their technique is kind of sloppy. And I don't usually sweat shit like that, but it's really noticeable here.

Rating - 3/5

The Fabulous Five

So... You've made it to the end of the post (thank you, btw), and are now wondering what in the actual fuck a Fabulous Five are. Well, it's simply a fancy title (because your bitch is hella dramatic) for my favorite songs of the week. In fact, if you payed any mind to the (badly made) gifs at the top of the post, you'd notice they're from the following videos. Anyway, there's no real metric for what goes here, just songs that I stan a lot.

5. Lower (f(Amber+Luna))

MY WIG!!

MY QUEENS!!

M Y W I G!!

Lower is God tier, sis. I've read a few people's reviews of the song, and the one thread of commonality between them all is that Lower is generic and not worthy of the f(x) brand. And while I'm not gonna sit here and act like Lower isn't something I'd expect to hear at a European gay club (or any gay club for that matter), I really like what Amber and Luna did with this song.

I also think that Lower should be considered a performance piece above all. I view EXO's Monster this way - I don't care for the song by itself, but I'm hype as fuck when there's an accompanying visual. Amber and Luna could have made this beat their bitch (Luna certainly has the vocal chops for it, and Amber could have done ha thing with a lil rappy rap), but the main focus of the song is the breakdown. And they dance for their fucking lives to said breakdown.

I can't tell you if I'd have liked this song so much from another duo in K-Pop or if I'd have liked it if it didn't come with a video, but the reality is that like it.

Me Likey Likey a lot!!

I'm really hoping that SM sees how well of a unit these two make, and decides to debut them, officially. Cause God only knows we aren't getting any new material from f(x) anytime soon. Victoria is too busy livin ha best life in China, and Krystal is too busy looking fed up for no reason with Jessica, whilst people throw money at BLANC & ECLARE.

Rating - 3/5

4. Hot Potato (N.FLYING)

Before I start in on my review of this song, I just wanna ask what the fuck is up with idol bands being filled with beautiful ass humans?!?! Like?!?!?! Anytime I watch anything with Day6, I can't help but wanna cry at how hot they are. And watching N.FLYING's Music Core comeback stages, I got the same feeling. I could barely pay attention to the songs. Am I really just that thirsty?!?!?

Nobody fucking answer that, I know I'm thirsty heaux. I don't need you shady bitches dragging me for it.

Existential crisis aside, Hot Potato is a banger. I'm really hoping 2018 is the year idol bands start thriving, because I need more songs like these in my life. The verses are pure octane fun, while the choruses are power pop crack. I dare one of you to tell me you wouldn't sing along to that chorus if you knew Korean. I fuckin D A R E you!! And whoever's idea it was to add Yoo Hweseung from Produce 101, I wanna kiss you silly. His chemistry with Lee Seunghyub is ridiculous!! And in addition to that, an added vocalist allows them added flexibility with with N.Flying's rap/sing vocal style. I'm just so happy with this song, especially with how little love I had for The Real. It's great, sis.

Rating - 5/5

3. Her (Drug Restaurant)

Raise your hand if you had no idea that Jung Joon Young's band changed their name to Drug Resturaunt!?!?!?

...

Oh that was just me, not paying attention to anything?!?! Okay...

The first time I heard Her, I was immediately mesmerized by that opening chord progression. Some part of my musically trained brain knows how overused that progression is, but the rest of me is too busy blissing out to it to care (to be fair, most chord progressions in popular music are overused, because there's only so many that actually sound good to our ears). Her is no one trick pony, tho; she may come back to the oddly dissonant and melancholic texture of the intro now and again, but she always makes sure to give you something new with it.

The rest of the song is pretty great, too. Jung Joon Young has a very smooth texture to his baritone, very similar to BTS's Kim Taehyung (and if y'all know anything about my gay ass, y'all know I'm a H E A U X for baritones), and it's a great contrast to the grit of the instrumental.

Her is a very nice intro (err... reintrduction) to a great band. I keep telling myself I'll get back into rock like I was in middle school (the only good thing about being a weeb is J-rock and VISUAL KEI, I will fight you if you say otherwise), and it looks like God decided to help a girl out.

Rating - 4.5/5

2. Twenty Something (Alice featuring Yooyoung of HELLOVENUS)

Hello?!?!? Fantagio?!?!?! Starship Entertainment called; they want their Acoustic Coffee Shop RnB Midtempo back.

Yes, I realize I'm not that funny, but it's not gonna stop me from cracking jokes

So... If you don't know what an Acoustic Coffee Shop RnB Midtempo is, it's basically the RnB version of an acoustic midtempo ballad (hence the acoustic coffee shop bit). They're usually not acoustic at all, but they still have the same feeling as an acoustic ballad, if that makes sense.

And can I make a bold statement here?!?!!? Fantagio just declared a turf war against Starship with this song. Yes babies, it's that fucking good. Starship is usually my go to for Acoustic Coffee Shop RnB Midtempos, but it looks like Fantagio wants to throw their hat in the ring for consideration.

Alice has the right amount of grit to her voice to really hook you in, but a decent amount of brightness to help uplift the track. And Yooyoung's rap is just... Oh my God, it's so good!! I wanted it to be longer, sis. A++ content!!! She provides a nice texture change that makes Alice's voice pop when she takes over the track again. And the instrumentation just makes my brain happy tingle. God, I'm just so in love with this song!!

My only complaint is about that flat ass, limp ass, needs to be put out of it's misery ass high shriek Alice does over the final chorus. Guys, I am so tired of my ears being accosted by these singers trying to belt. Most of K-Pop's vocalists are sopranos with bright ass tones and absolutely no power behind their voices. This obsession with high belted notes at the end of songs is just so weird, and if y'all are gonna continue to do it, I need y'all to integrate that shit into the song better. Don't just have a vocalist do their best "OH MY GOD, THEY'RE TRYING TO KILL ME" shriek. It's so irritating!!

And apparently, this is the first of a monthly song single campaign Fantagio is doing for 2018?!?!!? Someone at that company wants me to die, sis. First, they inflict Ong Seungwoo and Park Jinwoo on my ass, and now this.

Rating - 4.5/5

1. Bboom Boom (MOMOLAND)

First of all, can we give S. Tiger a round of applause for throwing it back to EXID's Nyam Nyam Jeop Jeop?!?!?!? That is a top five favorite b side of mines, so the second I heard the guitar in the teaser, I fucking Knew™ my edges were about to get snatched right off my face.

Secondly, Queen JooE is outchea livin ha best life, and I'm just so here for it. People love to talk shit about girl groups cause they only do cutesy and sexy concepts (nevermind the fact that boy bands do the same shit, but I guess y'all not trynna hear that), but anytime girl groups give you something different, y'all not trynna stan. So, I'm so fucking here for JooE serving you basics Unapologetic Joy™ in the New Year.

Hallelujah, Thank You Jesus!!

For those of you who can't tell (although it's position in the Fab Five should've tipped you off), I fucking love Bboom Bboom. I was ready for Bboom Bboom the second the teasers started rolling in, and my excitement hit an all time peak with the Great! highlight medley showing that the entire mini was Banger Central™. My only complaint about the song is that the transition from the trap beat to the regular beat in the second verse was so throwed together and clunky. Did y'all run out of time to really integrate that right, cause?!?!?!?! I love that section, but that it could have been handled way better.

Still my favorite song of the week.

Rating - 4.5/5

And that's that, folks!! Tune in next week at 6pm EST to see my round up of this week's new releases. And don't forget about Friday's Feature Splotlight at 6pm EST!! There's been a little (Okay, it's a pretty big ) change to the schedule. Wanna know what it is?!?!?! Be sure to check it out!!!

[survivormagictreehouse]

Episode #4: “I am definitely sobbing 24/7” -Gavin

-okay so dan left eight to one a real... how you say... zzz. and then birch activates the earthquake and gives us... the best swap... ever...? i say us i mean ME so anyway the swap gives me... my alliance members of vi/collin/ruthie which YES. we already are half the tribe eat it UP. then i have cindi who im close to, who im also in a second game with rn. which BAM, and also... og tribe majority mmmmm delicious. THEN from the other tribe i get. BODHI who im also close to outside of this, and am also in another game with rn (where im about to vote to keep him in so woo we love  building trust...?). then i have rachael who is a sweetheart and TIMMY. ONE OF MY OLDEST ORG FRIENDS HELLOOO. this swap is kind of... too... good? all the people i'd wanna vote out are on the other tribe so the MO rn is to just sweep challenges ideally? thats the agenda. because rn the ones i want gone are birch/keegan/zachary/gavin... all of whom are on the other tribe. so we better get to winning even tho it might be bad for austin/jay if we do (but maybe timmy would go first idek)

-okay so... we just won jeopardy? that challenge truly had me weighing up and considering literally fighting a child because that zach is half child prodigy, half robot he was literally bodying the challenges... BUT THEN WE WON ASFJDKSAL. we literally just went for broke on the final jeopardy and it came THROUGH. im so so happy because i want all of my swap tribe at merge, they are all people i want to stick around so even one tribal would be a disaster. i think timmy might unfortunately be screwed just because jay/austin are really connected. also the annie tribe is probably gonna lose... another og tribe member. but HONESTLY what can you do. this is good for my longterm survival anyway hopefully they turn inwards and get rid of one of OG Jack even though its probably unlikely KJFLSAD.

-well, to start out, i am sorry this is later than anticipated. however, what matters is that i am doing it now... right? ANYWAYS... onto the confessional. i think the main thing i want to talk about this round, is the brilliant move i orchestrated during that challenge that gave us the win... and the fact that i got NO CREDIT FOR IT. OKAY Y'ALL... I SEE YOU. but anyways, i think it is clear that i am basically a mastermind. however, what really matters is that we won... so GO TEAM (me)! following the challenge this round i was added into an alliance chat planned by keegan and zach with rachael and myself. so, when jess wasn't included, i obviously had to go talk to her and subtly expose that alliance... and funnily enough, keegan added jess to alliance with birch! FUNNY. so, we basically figured out that keegan is trying to play everyone and anyone he can--which will definitely be useful information going forward. overall this round, i think i really strengthened some key bonds with birch and rachael specifically. i was on call with rachael for 5 hours straight and talked about personal things with birch for about an hour. so, i honestly feel pretty good going forward. and on the bright-side, if things start to look like they're going south, i always have that idol in my back pocket. until next time... xoxo, gossip girl.

-well, to no ones surprise... we swapped. AND I WAS SEPARATED FROM MY RACHAEL. i’m not crying... (jk, i am definitely sobbing 24/7). but on the bright side, i at least have jess with me. unfortunately due to zachs poor math skills, we lost the challenge that should have been an easy win for us given our lead going into the final jeopardy... but gavin is not bitter. so, unfortunately, we have to go to tribal with a brand new tribe. on the bright side, it seems to be looking in OG jack’s favor numbers wise, so i don’t particularly feel like i am in danger. however, you never know what could happen at tribal council. so, if worse comes to worse, i will have my idol ready to play—but i am hoping it doesn’t come to that. it appears as though austin or jay will be leaving—which is perfectly fine with me (even if i want keegan to go sooner rather than later, it’s best not to make any unnecessary waves right now. so i will continue to let him become a bigger target and try to take charge and snake as he does... and we will go from there.

https://youtu.be/R3zDNJfI3Pc

https://youtu.be/4QKj_KZhhCE

-I....am upset. You put me on a tribe with little cutie Gavin and then RIPPED HIM AWAY. I am beyond upset. I am outraged. SWAP US BACK COWARDS. Can't wait for the next earthquake to hit so we can be reunited. I miss him so much. He still sends me tiktoks though so thats cute. we are watching Hamilton together on Friday and I am so excited.

-It’s 1:02PM and I still miss Gavin.

-It’s 5:14 pm and I still miss Gavin. Hope he doesn’t go home, but I won immunity ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So I forced a swap. yay! I also exiled myself, mainly to keep myself safe cause fuck getting voted out, Am I right? So I don't really have anything to report on. uhhhh, yeah. Go everyone!! 

-When your tribe mates don't listen to your wager advice and you lose the challenge :))))))))))))))))))))))))

-So a swap happened so that's fun.... I can't even lie I  have swap PTSD from my last Survivor. I was swapped into the minority, rocked myself out with an idol for a souvenir. THAT BEING SAID... This swap worked out for me! I think? At least for now? If I didn't have Gavin with me I'd be extremely worried but because I do believe he has an "in" with the bro's Keegan/Zach aka: a duo... I'll at least know if they are up to some shady shit. I also got Chips! SO PARTY. I'm really thankful we got a swap because I don't know if I would have survived a couple of votes on my previous tribe. I wasn't necessarily "in" with people. So a swap was welcomed but I was also scared shitless. This swap has really opened the door for me/Zach? I don't trust him the slightest BUT at least we have some sort of dialogue right now compared to the crickets we were exchanging on OG JACK. This swap also broke up the "alliance" of Zach, Rachael, Keegan...and Gavin. So now they'll need to find a replacement Rachael and I know I'm not as pretty as Rachael but maybe I'll fill the female quota in that alliance? Chips has opened up a LOT to me so far. We've exchanged idol searches but he feels on the bottom of that "alliance" and I don't blame him. I just don't know where we go from here after this vote. He flips? to Jay? Maybe a Jay/Chips/Keegan/Zach majority? He wants me to flip to a Chips/Jay/Timmy/Majority? I have no idea. We also get Birch next round! I do enjoy Birch so much but that's a number for Keegan and that makes me un-easy. Keegan is easily my biggest threat so far. Next round could potentially be a 6.vs. 2 majority and it can't be THAT simple. I'm going to focus on winning... I guess? I'm really enjoying Timmy so far even though he's given me a few red flags or I'm being lied to hardcore. Austin told me he had a vote reveal however, why would Timmy tell someone who he has said "treated him badly" about a power? So either Timmy is playing me or Austin is playing me. Either way they both can go?! Timmy gives me such weird vibes. I want to trust him but I also think he's going to be a super cut-throat player down the line and that SCARES ME.

Ok.....with the swap that happened and us losing immunity I really feel my game is over. Which really sucks bc i wanna work with ppl like keegan jess jay chips and zach but I dont feel most of those ppl wanna work with me.  I'm not gonna give up tho . I'm gonna try talking and making deals and doing what I can to save myself.  It's not over til tribal and I have plenty of time. Pleaseeeee atomic gods let me make it through this one vote 

Me never remember what my last confessional was about? The title of my autobiography. So, we swapped which is super unfortunate but the tribe I got swapped into has a majority OG Jack members. JESS, ZACH, GAVIN, CHIPS and myself against JAY, TIMMY Z and AUSTIN. And then we lose the challenge because math is apparently impossible? Like ZACH either threw the challenge on purpose or he’s just the worst person at math. Either way, we’re going to tribal tonight. The current plan is to stay tribe strong and vote out an OG Annie which is fine by me. JAY is saying he wants to work with me because we’re both previous winners which is a good point. But I’ve got some solid alliances already and I don’t want to mess those up this early into the game. As far as I can tell right now, the plan is to split votes between JAY and AUSTIN with AUSTIN being the primary target since he’s pretty bad at challenges and isn’t likely to work with us down the line. TIMMY apparently spilled the beans about a six person alliance that didn’t include himself or CINDI, so we’re trying to keep him safe and pull him in as a number for the future. Who knows what will happen though. There’s idols to worry about which is why we’re trying to split the vote. 

This tribe swap makes me so happy because I vibe with these people so much better and it gives me a new chance in this game to fix my activity level. On top of that, we are safe!!! Another round of not having to go to tribal is a good round for me. Who knows why the Annie tribe only wagered $3,000 because that made absolutely no sense but I’m not complaining. Overall, A+ round!

So this round, i find myself swapped into a tribe of people that are so much better then my old tribe. I was on the outs of that 6 person alliance and I am sure I would have been the next to go for sure. I get a really good vibe off of zach and jess, plus gavin and keegan are cool too. Not to sure about Chips but I have to put my trust in these people for the mean time. As for the challenge, we lost and i knew I was going to vote with the old Jack tribe. We plan on splitting the votes 3 vs 3 with austin and jay voting whoever. Of course in true them style, the moment they found out it was them, they threw me under the bus immediately. Hopefully everything goes as planned tonight and Austin goes home, if not it is going to be me. I have had good convos with people tho and hope that can get me through this tribe.

Well this swap completely sucks. In the complete minority, someone sold out the alliance to Timmy so I doubt he trusts me anymore. I just tried to be honest with him so he'd see me in a better light and I hope it worked. Beyond that, we lost the challenge and I think my head is on the chopping block. Earlier today Chips came and told me that he's pretty sure the votes are coming down on me and they're gonna tell me Austin to fake me out. And you know, that's probably true because Zach, Keegan, and Gavin have all told me it's Austin. What troubles me is that Chips doesn't seem to have a plan otherwise even though it seems like he wants to do something else. So once Zach told me it's Austin, I had more of a chat with him. He really seems to not want me to go anywhere, which is hard not to believe. Either he's telling me the truth or he's a fantastic liar. Same with Keegan, even though I think it's in both of our best interests to work together going forward. At this point it's clear that it's gonna split between Austin and myself so i worry if I don't vote Austin then I'm just automatically out. Shits really hard in the game right now and all I want is to survive another day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25eKaudnTmA&feature=youtu.be

https://imgur.com/31jZcmF

I am finally not at the bottom. My original tribe has minority and I have prior existing relationships with 2/3 of the og Jack tribe. Plus I have bodhi, whom I absolutely love, on my tribe. I am happy. 

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Click HERE to watch the Round 4 Cast Assessment!

[feathers137]

Sup

Alright, since my day has been pretty awful I'm gonna share the only thing that's kept me smiling all day. Tomorrow is a huge day for me, why? Because its this blogs first birthday. I think I'll start this post with some special thanks to some of the people I've met on here.

So first off, I want to thank @theskylarksings Sky was there for me in the beginning (well actually past like... 9 months but whatever) she's been with me through some pretty rough shit, and she probably knows more about me then anyone else on this list. Thanks to her I've excepted myself more (though only slightly, more progress to come) she's my go too when I've got problems or something on my mind, like seriously I can tell her anything. I will be eternally grateful for this amazing friendship.

Next I want to thank @a-dreadful-personal-blog when I felt alone, when everyone I knew had disappeared, Cori shoved his way into my life. I don't even remember when he became so important to me, but I do know that knowing him has been one if the best things I've ever experienced. He's always there to listen, and with him (just like with everyone else on this list) I don't have to worry about not being myself because he's just so excepting. He doesn't think I'm crazy (well maybe slightly)

Alrighty, next I think I wanna thank @keepingcalmisoverratedgoddamnit Georgia reminds me every day that even the little things are huge. When I talk to her I always smile because she makes me remember that the little victories are huge ones as well. That reminder is sometimes what gets me through the day

@hisshissimnagini Mya was one of the first people I've opened up to on here, she talked with me on those nights where I was missing my dad so much I was in tears, I discovered bits of myself with her. I don't think I've ever met someone with so much patience. I've got lots to learn from her still (I have plenty to learn from everyone here I guess)

@draco-rex I'm not gonna lie, when I first met Draco I was terrified. I was scared I'd do r say something wrong and he'd never talk to me again, but in the past month we've... Bonded very quietly. It kinda started when I was crying and needed someone to talk to. He was there, and he always has been when I just need someone to listen. He laughs at my stupid jokes and reminds me to breath when I have a bad day

Last (but definitely not least) I would want to thank @supernatural-official Dani... God without her I'd probably be someone completely different. She's always smiling, and has this way about her that makes it impossible for me not to be happy. She's done a lot for me, and I don't think I could ever repay that dept.

OKAY NOW THAT THATS OVER (geez Logan that was a lot of typing) I WANNA GET INTO THE HISTORY OF MY BLOG

so for anyone who's been here since the very beginning, you'll probably know that at one point this blog was named something else. Yeah, that was back in the first few months, I regret that name more than anything (I mean, nothing is as spectacular as dem-gabriel-tho) it was, if I remember correctly, ishouldgotobedsoon. God awful, right? Yeah that's why I changed it. In the past year I've gotten 629 followers, which is HUGE!! When I first made this account I thought I'd have 20, at best. But look where I am now, and I don't mean to brag or anything, no no no that's not my style. I'm only pointing thus out because every day I look at my follower count and I remember, that's 629 people that would miss me if I left. Sometimes when my worlds falling apart I remember, I've got all you idiots who thought it was a good idea to follow this trash blog, and damn it I love you all

So finally, my final note. I'm gonna talk about why I made this blog. To anyone who knows me, they know this past month has been hell. The 5th was the Tyree year anniversary of my dads death, which means right now isn't really the best of times for me. It was the exact same way a year ago, and I was also suspended from school at the time (its a long story). With everything going on in my life, I needed a place to he myself and to have distractions from this hell. Tumblr is my own little coping mechanism, I relay on it for the ability to get through each day. I've needed that for the past year, so I really fucking love this hell hole. It may be trash, but its definitely the best thing that ever happened to me. Anyway, sorry for the long post, I love you all and I want to thank each and every follower for following me. I couldn't do it without y'all, peace out

[decoding1432]

Anons opinions (p.2)

On Camila’s tweet (quoting Ellen)...

Anon 1: Camila’s tweet about Ellen and 5H tells me a lot. Seems like she wants to grab the attention away from 5H and wants people to talk about her too not just them. Why would she tweet it otherwise. She's literally using 5H to get attention from the media and Ellen acting as the victim. She clearly has intentions while tweeting that. Anyone who says it was just a funny tweet is lying to themselves. If she didn't tweet that the media will spotlight to Ellen and 5H, camila wanted to be part of it too😒  

Anon 2: Hmm if camila wanted attention she would have @ ellen's twitter directly but she just quoted it.

Anon 3: Haha this situation is kinda like a divorce and when you see your ex in new situation, and you're already making jokes like "oh they'll love you better than I ever could" and it's just awkward because it's too soon. We need more than 2.5 weeks Camila. Too soon.

Anon 4: So many people are afraid to say anything honest about Camila. Really interesting. I adore and stan her still, but she's not perfect. She does have a few attention-seeking moments. Ellen chose to highlight OT4 and that was really nice. She has a huge platform. Camila could've been more self-aware and realized that moment wasn't about her, but that's sometimes hard to do as a celeb. Yes, she had humorous intentions, but also only retweeted 5H because of Ellen and the attention factor.  

Anon 5: Even though I do think the tweet was just a joke, I feel she should keep herself from mentioning or referencing 5H in their current guise whenever possible. From here on out nothing that they do really has anything to do with her and so any reference to them she makes is only going to make her look bad or like she's piggybacking on the attention their getting. I'm actually a bit surprised by the tweet because her and her team are usually smarter than that.

Anon 6: It's not about the joke. It's about attention. Camila needs to stop throwing herself in the center of 5H or celeb attention. She's solo now. She'll get plenty of her own. Now 5H has to debut as OT4 without Camila making jokes about 5H every time they get attention. Because every time she does the press has no chill and it's Camila + 5H again. And her and Roger know this. I'd be equally annoyed if 5H kept responding to tweets to Camila from other celebs. We all just need space for a few months.  

On the situation as a whole...

Anon 7: i still hate the label but we shouldnt forget that there couldve been no fifth harmony if they were to be dropped.

Anon 8: Love that breakdown on the genius of EPIC's 5H vs. Camila split. I think it slightly overhyped how OT4's felled about Camila though. That feeling is closer to indifference. You have to consider we have been over her antics for much longer than this PR whirlwind - since Summer of 2015. So all of this was more of confirmation of our doubts. Not necessarily revelations. It was incredibly sad to realize how calculating EPIC was behind all of this. That is infuriating. We don't blame Camila for that.  

Anon 9: Even though it was dramatic AF. Lowkey glad we learned everything WHEN we did. Otherwise it would've been this passive aggressive game of pop stars. The Cabello's obviously had little chill, Camila was recognizing 5H as little as possible, her indirects "I can breathe again" were picking up, and who knows what else Roger was going to setup or say. Everything coming to the light just made all sides address it swiftly. I cringe thinking we could be in January still thinking she was in 5H.

Anon 10: Guys, Billboard is very much a mouthpiece for the industry and labels. All of their sources are direct. The long narrative on Camila's exit? That was directly from Roger and Camila. It was actually her response to the last 5H response. Different platform, same agenda. It's pretty obvious when you read through it. Describing Dinah Jane as an "occasional ally" and attempts at therapy sessions as 4 on 1, and directly saying OT4 was simply jealous. How does any of that sound unbiased or outside pov?   

Anon 11:  Please god don't let the fans buy into EPIC's 5H vs. Camila feud. Let's all move on into a peaceful and prosperous 2017!                    

On Laucy...

Anon 12: "Epic wanted a follow-up on marketing to the LGBT community." But...Laucy has been playing out your "PR" schemes since late 2015. Lmao. All those fiends, classmates, family, trips, posts, private vacations, kisses, and more. Some elaborate schemes my friend. Elaborate schemes. I love Camren as much as the next delu. It seems like some of y'all are working double time to invalidate a real relationship tho. Lol. Lauren hasn't been a PR love puppet for over a year guys. Let's consider it's real.  

Anon 13:  Still highkey hilarious to me shippers think Laucy is the BEST industry PR advantage for Lauren. Oh babies. We just skipped right over actual celebrities who would give Lauren big U.S. headlines and assumed her childhood friend which NO news outlet in the states covers, is somehow a gain for Lauren or 5H. If it's all just to deny Camren, Camila's about to do that pretty effectively in the next few months. Lauren doesn't have to fake love her BFF for limited fandom drama. 😂