#even if its just an anon wanting to know more about me
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siriuslylantsov · 1 day ago
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pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader
description: in which spencer gets home and needs you.
tags: MDNI smut! and fluff, established relationship, sleepy sex, pinv, little praise, brief nipple stuff (im a creature of habit), cockwarming, aftercare, this is just sweet and quiet.
a/n: anon who sent in the req, this is for you :) little gilmore girls adjacent line there at the end because i have that show memorised and i think its silly. smut is slowly getting easier for me to right and im really happy about that. happy reading! tell me what you think
wc: 1.3k
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you feel the all so familiar lips on your shoulder and you know. you stir awake. with a groggy groan, you open your eyes and turn your head around. the strap of your tank top is peeled down to your arm and a messy mop of curls is tucked into your neck. he's home.
“hey,” you whisper. “you're home.”
spencer lifts his head up, “yeah, baby.”
you scoot back into him, needing him to be closer. chuckling, when you feel an unmistakable hardness against your ass. you nudge your nose against his. 
“you okay?”
“mhm. you're just so pretty,” he responds, lip caught between his teeth, eyes glistening even in the low light. you could see the need in his eyes, and even barely awake, you felt compelled to tease him.
you turn to face him, subtly wedging a leg between his. action ever so slightly causing some friction, just enough that it seemed innocuous. you scrunch your nose up appreciatively, muttering a quiet “thank you”, pressing your thigh more firmly against him. 
he pouts, knowing what you're doing. “please,” he mumbles.
“please, what?” you taunt, playing dumb.
“i need you, please angel,” he whines, hand finding your waist.
you caress his cheek lightly with your knuckles, the gentleness making him shiver, so sensitive. you smile at him and he returns it. “you have me, spence. whenever you want.”
he leans into your touch, eyebrows furrowed in mild exasperation. “why tease me then?” he implores. 
“it's fun,” you offer up uselessly with a shrug. everytime you do, it draws something whiny from him and you find it so endearing. 
he huffs, in disbelief and amusement. “you're impossible.”
“you love me,” you retort, melting into the pillow.
“i do,” he confirms with a nod, leaning in to kiss your lips, lingering for a moment to see if you'll kiss him back.
you do, it's a little sloppy but he's okay taking the lead. his tongue slips into your mouth as he slowly pushes you to lay on your back. finding the waistband of your shorts, he pulls them down along with your underwear. your legs instinctively part as he lifts himself to settle between them. he dips his head down to capture your lips again, the kiss more frenzied this time. his hand trails up to your shoulder pulling the other strap of your tank top too and bunching the fabric at your waist so your tits were out. you weakly paw at his t-shirt and he takes it off, kicking his pants and underwear off in the process, clothes in a tangled mess somewhere under the duvet.
he mouths at your neck, sucking lightly. his hand trails over your breast, kneading the flesh. his thumb grazes your nipple and it stiffens. he rolls the bud between his fingers, making you quiver, causing arousal to pool between your thighs.
“spence,” you whimper.
“i got you,” he responds quickly, dipping his fingers between your folds. groaning when he feels the wetness there. “always so wet for me,” he murmurs. your eyes flutter shut as he gently circles your clit.
“do you need my fingers first? or are you ready?” he inquires.
 “‘m okay. i can take it,” you reassure him, your tone a little petulant because of the lingering sleep. 
you look so unbelievably soft, he's afraid that he might break you. “i know you can, angel, but it's been a week.”
“need you inside me,” you slur.
your gaze meets his, equally clouded in lust. he takes the plunge, guiding the tip of his cock to your entrance. he pushes in slowly, matching your sigh when he bottoms out. 
he stays there for a moment, relishing in the way you wrap around him. it's warm and soft and wet and overwhelmingly you, he couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. 
you seem just as content as him when you don't urge him to move immediately, raising your arms to pull him closer. your fingers trace the subtle lines of muscle on his shoulder blades, hallowed paths that you’re well accustomed to. 
your walls flutter around him and he buries his head into the crook of your neck, whispering sweet nothings into your skin, lips pressed firmly against you because he wants you to have it all, to absorb it, to take it. 
“perfect girl, you feel so good. so so good for me,” his words are muffled but heard by you all the same as he draws his hips back, only to somehow push in deeper. 
it goes like this. languid thrusts by him and soothing passes over his spine by you. it’s tranquil, the way that he fucks you–for a lack of a less crude word. it isn't making love either, in the sense that it isn't passionate or intense. but it's sweet, done with ease. practised motions of his hips has him dragging against your sweet spot incessantly. he can hear the hushed ah’s you let out, and god does he love how you sound. 
“i missed you,” he drawls into your neck, lips pressing feathery kisses to your skin.
your hand snakes into his hair, lightly scratching his scalp. “i missed you too, sweet boy.”
his pace quickens, ever so slightly, in mollified desperation. you almost feel a little bad that he's doing all the work, but you're too tired to think about it–and he feels fucking incredible inside you–so you happily let him. he lurks his hand between your bodies to rub at your clit again, angling his thrusts higher.
“fuck, baby, like that,” you keen.
“yeah?” he pants.
just like that. your orgasm washes over you in a wave of bliss–high, high and higher. the feel of you squeezing around him, drives him over the edge too. his hips snap as he fucks you through it, once, twice, and then he stills. 
he raises his head from your shoulder, “hi pretty,” he whispers, soft smile gracing his lips.
you hum in acknowledgement, the post orgasmic haze lulling you back to sleep. he chuckles quietly, brushing his lips over your forehead. he cautiously pulls out as to not wake you, corners of his mouth twitching when you make an incoherent noise at the feeling. 
he grabs a damp towel, warily cleaning the mess. he's careful when he redresses you, slipping on a clean pair of underwear and pulling the straps of your top over your shoulders, kissing either joint before lying down next to you. he pulls the covers up, starkly reminded of how cold you keep the room, holding your hand as he falls asleep too. 
your eyes flit open hours later at the feel of his fingers skimming over your face. rays of sunlight peek through the gap in the curtain. you look up at him, already staring down at you.
“creep,” you rasp, though there's no malice behind your words.
“i'm sorry, i didn’t mean to wake you,” he apologises.
“which time?”
“both,” he lets out sheepishly.
“it’s okay, i'm not,” you counter as you throw an arm over him and tuck yourself into his side.
he wraps his around you in turn, smiling into your hair. you rest your chin on his chest, half-lidded eyes staring into his wide eyed brown ones.
“what time is it?” you inquire, too lazy to check the clock that sat atop your bedside table.
“late,” he says, running his hand down your arm and up again.
“i’m hungry, i want pancakes. can we make pancakes?”
“we can make whatever you want, sweetheart,” he answers, prompting you to grin and spring upright.
you notice the clothes on your body and you stick your bottom lip out, “you’re sweet.” you look at him a moment longer, eyes following the features of his face in awe. you pull him up to hug him tightly.
“oh, i’m so happy you’re home.” you chirp giddily.
he squeezes you, “they say absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
you let go of him, jumping out of the bed. “yeah, well. sex does that too.”
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hvnyrt · 1 day ago
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Request/idea: Jason pining for reader, although he’ll never admit it
Voice in the Wind
Hi Anon! Thank you so much for submitting a request! Luckily for you I have no class or work today and was able to get this out same-day for you. :) I went angsty for this request, I hope it's to your liking!
SUMMARY: You have been in love with Jason Todd for a while now, and he had been too, yet he was too trapped in his mind to even take your relationship into consideration.
WARNINGS: Angst, non happy ending :(
WC: 1.9k
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The rooftop of a Gotham skyscraper was cold beneath Jason Todd’s boots. His breath formed small clouds in the air, the city’s ever-present hum a background noise to his thoughts. He stood facing the edge, arms crossed, eyes scanning the streets below. It was late — or early, depending on how you looked at it — and the city was bathed in a sickly orange glow from the streetlights. Gotham was always awake, like a predator that never rested, and Jason… Jason was just another hunter in its maze of shadows.
He was trying to focus. ‘Focus, Todd,’ he told himself. ‘Don’t be weak. Stay sharp.’ But there was a problem. Your face kept slipping into his mind. No matter how hard he tried to shove it away, there you were again, with that crooked smile and those damn eyes that could cut straight through his walls.
Your voice rang in his ears. He hated your voice because it followed him everywhere, like an earworm he couldn’t get rid of. And your name. He hated your name because it made him feel like he could say it, like he could speak it aloud and claim it, and he didn’t want to claim anything. Not You. 
"She’s just a distraction," he muttered under his breath, the words lost in the wind. "Just a damn distraction." 
Except you werent. He knew it. 
He didn’t know how you had got under his skin, but you had. It had started innocently enough: a few random meetings while he was on patrol, a conversation here and there. But then something shifted. Something he couldn’t control, couldn’t shake. It wasn’t that he wanted to care about you; he didn’t. He couldn’t. Not when he knew better, when he was haunted by the ghosts of his past mistakes. People like him didn’t get to have things like that. People like him didn’t get to have… normal.
It was so fucking frustrating. 
"Stupid." Jason spat the word out as if it could wash away the thoughts, the feelings he didn’t want to deal with. There was no place for feelings in the world he lived in. It was all blood and violence, adrenaline and fear, and you… you were none of that. You were calm. Grounded. Real. You made him feel like he wasn’t constantly running from something.
Nope. Not happening.
"Jason?"
The voice broke through his internal tirade, familiar and warm, cutting through the cold like a blade. Jason didn’t turn around. Didn’t even flinch. But his heart did a strange little lurch. He hated that it did, but it did.
There you were, standing a few feet away, your arms wrapped around yourself to shield against the Gotham night. You didn’t even seem to notice how out of place you were up here — on this rooftop, so far above the city you loved but could never truly understand. You weren't like him. Never would be.
"You shouldn’t be here," he said, his tone as dismissive as he could manage. "Go home, It’s dangerous up here."
Your eyes flickered with that same mixture of concern and defiance he was growing all too familiar with. "And I’m guessing you’re worried about me?" you said, your voice laced with quiet amusement.
Jason’s lip curled slightly, though it wasn’t a smile. More like a reflex. “I worry about everyone, you're no different.” He said flatly, his back still turned.
But even as he said it, the doubt crept in. You had a way of doing that — making him second-guess every cynical, hardened part of himself that wanted to pretend he didn’t care. But he didn’t let it show. He never did.
"I’m not helpless." you said softly, stepping a little closer, close enough that he could feel the heat radiating off you. "You don’t need to protect me. You don't have to worry me. Just please, tell me what's on your mind. Talk to me. Let me in." You wanted him so bad to just admit that he wanted you as much as you wanted him. You tried too hard to get him to open up to you, to get him to see what your relationship could be. He never listened.
The words hit him harder than they should have. He wanted to argue, to push you away again. You didn’t understand. You didn’t get what the world was really like, what it could do to someone like him. Someone who had already been destroyed once, who didn’t want to give it a second chance.
Instead, he just shrugged, trying to appear indifferent. "I’m not your protector. Just someone who knows better."
You raised an eyebrow, that familiar smirk tugging at the corners of her mouth. "So you’re telling me I shouldn’t be out here, too, but you’re not protecting me?" 
Jason didn’t answer. His gaze drifted away from her, back to the city lights, to the shadows below. But he didn’t walk away. He never did.
"You really think I can’t handle myself?" Your voice was quieter now, and for a moment, it almost sounded like you were teasing. Almost. 
Jason let out a breath, unable to keep the edge out of his voice. "You think you’re the only one who can handle themselves?" He turned his head just enough to catch her gaze. "This place doesn’t make you stronger. It makes you smarter. And if you’re not smart enough to get the hell out of it, you’ll get crushed. And that’s not something I’m willing to let happen."
The words left his mouth sharper than he’d intended, but he couldn’t stop them now. He never could when it came to you. 
You didn’t say anything at first. Just looked at him with those damn eyes that felt like they saw straight through his bullshit. Then, slowly, you took a step closer, not intimidated, but calm.
"Jason, you don’t have to pretend with me. I’m not going anywhere."
The words hit him like a punch to the gut, though he’d never admit it. "I’m not pretending," he muttered, too quickly, and too defensively. 
The city stretched out beneath them, vast and indifferent, like a black sea dotted with the flickering lights of a thousand lives he would never touch. Jason stood there, his shoulders tense, his fists clenched. You were still beside him, too close for comfort, your presence a constant reminder of everything he couldn’t afford to feel. 
Focus, he told himself. Don’t let her in. Don’t let her do this to you.
But it was already too late.
You were right. He was pretending. 
Jason’s jaw tightened at the thought, and he could feel the familiar coldness creeping in — the walls he had built so carefully around himself, the ones that were starting to crack and crumble under your quiet, persistent gaze. The feeling of wanting to reach for you, of wanting to say the things that scared him more than anything else in this broken city, gnawed at him like a sickness. 
But no. He couldn’t do it. Not to you. Not again.
"You don’t get it," Jason said, his voice rougher than he meant it to be. He didn’t look at you, but he could feel you staring at him, that soft gaze that always seemed to see straight through him. "This isn’t… this isn’t some fairy tale. You can’t just waltz in here and fix me. I’m not… I’m not someone you can save. You don’t know what it’s like, and you never will."
He finally turned to face you, his eyes burning with something he couldn’t even name. "I’m dangerous. And you think you can handle me? You think you can be around me and still come out unscathed? You have no idea what this world does to people like us."
You didn’t back down. Of course you didn’t. You never did. Instead, you stepped closer, her voice low but steady. "I know enough, Jason. I know you’re scared. You don’t have to push me away—"
"Stop," Jason cut you off, his voice sharp, almost desperate. He took a step back, as if your proximity was suffocating him. "Stop pretending like you know me. Like you understand anything about me."
Your brows furrowed in confusion. "Jason, I—"
"I’m not the guy you think I am!" He didn’t shout, but his voice trembled with the raw emotion he refused to show. "I’m not the guy you can fix. You think I don’t care about you? That I don’t—" He stopped himself, the words lodged in his throat like broken glass. He could already feel the heat in his chest, the thumping of his heart, the same damn pain that had been there since he came back from the dead. 
His fists clenched tighter. "I’m not your fucking hero. I’m a killer. A broken, fucked-up, damaged thing, and you don’t want to get close to that."
The words came out in a rush, desperate, but also… final. His eyes were wild now, the storm inside him too strong to ignore, the war he’d been fighting with himself spilling out in a way he hadn’t intended. 
You stood there, silent for a moment, your face unreadable. Then your expression softened, a mixture of hurt and understanding flickering behind your eyes.
"I’m not trying to fix you," you said quietly, your voice steady despite the tension crackling in the air between them. "I’m just trying to be here. I’m trying to be someone you don’t have to push away."
Jason didn’t respond right away. He couldn’t. The words felt too raw, too close to something real. And that scared him more than anything. 
"You don’t understand," he whispered, his voice barely audible. "You can’t understand. I can’t let you in. Not like this. Not after everything."
He took another step back, further into the shadows, his heart pounding in his chest. Every instinct in him screamed to get away from you, to run, to push you out of his life before you were swallowed up by the darkness he carried with him.
"Jason," your voice was quiet now, soft, like you were trying to reach him through the thick walls he had built. "Please."
But he couldn’t do it. Not for you.
Jason shook his head, more to himself than to you. He turned his back on you, the weight of his decision heavy in the pit of his stomach. His feet moved automatically, the thought of staying with you—of letting you see him, really see him—was too much to bear. 
Before he could even reach the edge of the rooftop, he heard your voice again, fragile but clear.
"You don’t have to do this alone."
He froze. For a second, everything inside him wanted to turn around, to reach for you, to tell you how much he wanted to believe that. How much he wanted to let you in. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t let anyone in.
Because when you let someone in, you gave them the power to break you. And Jason was already broken. He couldn’t let anyone else be hurt because of him. Not again.
Without another word, he jumped off the rooftop, vanishing into the night, leaving only the sound of his footsteps echoing in the cold air.
You stood there for a long time, staring into the empty space he had left behind. Your heart felt like it had been crushed under the weight of everything unsaid, everything unacknowledged.
You weren't stupid. You knew what had happened. 
Jason had chosen the darkness. He’d chosen it over you. Over them.
And the worst part was, you didn’t know if you could ever change his mind. 
But one thing was certain: you weren't going to forget him. Not now. Not ever.
Jason thinks people who reblog/like the fics they enjoy deserve a good time :)
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wish-i-were-heather · 2 days ago
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of course trump fucking won. this entire country is fucked and always has been. i went to his instagram to see if him or harris have posted anything and im absolutely fucking disgusted. ive never seen anything more hypocritically racist, sexist, homophobic, and literally discriminating against everything besides white heteronormative christians. but unfortunately there are just as many disgusting people in the world who see themselves in him and are going to vote for him. and they did vote for him. look where that got us. and of course he won because those people voted for him, those people who want to take away human rights. why would a woman win in a country that's sexist?? why would someone of color win in a country that's racist?? and why especially would a black woman who actually cares about people win in a country full of racist, sexist assholes?? ive literally never felt more hopeless than right now. we survived the last times he was president, but his plans for this time are far worse.
if you voted for trump, you voted for a man who only cares about himself. he doesnt give two shits about anyone, republican or not. you elected a homophobe into office. oh, great, you're also homophobic? then think about this. you elected a racist into office. you elected an ableist into office. YOU ELECTED A RAPIST INTO OFFICE. if you dont see the problem with that, there is something seriously wrong with you. if you voted for trump, there is something seriously wrong with you. as a teenage girl who is going to graduate before the next election, youre giving me this absolutely disguisting horrible piece of shit that dares to call himself a human being to deal with. i am genuinly preparing myself to leave the country after i graduate. it was a joke at first, but its nowhere near funny now. if i could leave right now, at this exact moment, i would. i am actually crying right now because i know that there are other people, people who are my friends, who are far more affected by this than i am. you had your vote, and you chose use it to ruin the lives of everyone.
if you voted for trump, have fun telling your daughter, your sister, your girlfriend, your best friend, your niece, your cousin, your mother, everyone, that you voted to take away their bodily freedoms. have fun at the hospital as your ten year old daughter gives birth to her rapist's baby, potentially dying doing so, because you voted away her abortion rights. have fun receiving a text from your nephew telling you that he is hiding from an active shooter because you voted for a vice president who stands behind glass while preaching that school shootings are "a fact of life." have fun watching your best friend, who you didn't even know was transgender because no, you can't "always tell," get fired because you voted away their job security. have fun watching the world around you fall apart because you voted for a dictator, not a president.
send me more hate anon i dont give a fuck. words cannot express how upset i am right now. with everyone. if you voted for a third party or even didn't vote at all, you're just as much at fault. any vote not for harris was a vote for trump. and now trump has the votes. now trump is the president.
if you voted for trump, i would just like to say thank you. from the bottom of my heart, thank you for ruining my life.
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laura1633 · 20 hours ago
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Oh wow i have a serious problem i just went over what i wrote to you and i probably should have stopped at the first two sentences but it gets me upset the abuse lando faces i dont even like the guy i perfer oscar, max, charles and carlos but even i know that sending death threats to someone is not okay, and it upsets me that people almost always take his words out of context like when did lando say he actually had a chance at winning the wdc this year? I've seen people bash on him for the latest race where max raced incredibly, but what they dont seem to understand is that the race's terrible race conditions could have actually seriously injured him, we all seem to forget that the guy is younger then max, less experienced, and has huge problems with self-worth that actively seem to affect the way he race's. the fact that max won in the rust bucket that barely seemed to work in favor of the guy is incredable, but bashing on another driver for seemingly not wanting to take a chance with the awfull race conditions (*please note that this is what it looked like to me on what lando was doing that race where he did make mistakes but the weather wasnt helping ether* also note that that franco, oliver and others commented ether on the weather being dangerous, their cars 'Presumably the cars not agreeing with the weather ether', or the fact they couldnt see for shit and out right stated that someone should have a talk with the fia *i couldnt watch the whole race but ive seen snippets of driver radio's and the like, so i cant say with 100% certainty that this is correct*)
So yeah i think that, if i as someone who doesnt like lando, its really concerning what some people say about the guy and as a side note none of the other drivers seem to notice the hate from what ive seen but this last part might just be me. What are your thoughts on the hate lando's been getting seeming to increase anytime he seems to actually want to enjoy racing with the other more popular (equally popular?) Drivers?
🍑anon
Hi anon, 
That’s okay, I will respond to this ask rather than the previous one (but just for context for anyone else the previous ask was about fan fiction so wan’t anything mean). This ended up being a really lengthy answer because I have lots of thoughts!!! 
I’ll put the answer under the cut and tag as anti Lando despite this really just being my opinion and I personally don’t think I am being particularly harsh here but maybe people will disagree.
Firstly hopefully to most people it goes without saying that sending death threats is not okay, that goes for any of the drivers (and various other individuals that I have seen targeted over the past few years). I also have never understood people specifically going to an individual’s social media page just to spout negativity or abuse at them, if you don’t like someone you don’t need to follow them. 
However, I am surprised that people seem to be shocked that Lando is receiving hate online as this is absolutely nothing new and, if I am being honest, I have seen worse (not that this is a competition!).
I will speak from the perspective of being a Max supporter and say that the abuse he has received both online and at track has been appalling over the years. After Silverstone 2021 there were plenty of comments from people saying he ‘deserved’ such an awful crash or that they wished it had been worse. Even this year there were memes going around saying that maybe we needed a repeat of Silverstone 21 (a meme liked by Lando’s dad no less, not that I think we should be blaming children for their parent’s actions!). Not only that but there is rarely a week that goes by that I don’t see jokes online about how Jos is the only one that ‘can beat Max’ or people posting memes about Max being left at a gas station when he does badly. Max needed a bodyguard in Mexico last year because there were concerns over death threats, he’s been booed up on the podium, had people chanting cheat at him in the fan zone, every comment section on his social media includes comments telling him he is a cheat or that his achievements mean nothing. The British media are like vultures any time there is even a hint of controversy. I don’t know why everyone is suddenly up in arms about Lando receiving hate, perhaps its a case of only caring when it happens to ‘their’ driver. 
It doesn’t just happen to Max either. I don’t follow Lewis on social media but I still know the type or racist abuse he has faced over the years. Other drivers also receive abuse - Lance for example has vile things said about him, Nicholas Latifi was sent death threats after 2021. I am sure most if not every driver has experienced some level of hate. Social media can be extremely toxic. 
Do I think any of the drivers should have to deal with such toxicity? No, but Lando is nowhere near the only one to receive hate and I don’t think someone like Max who appears ‘strong’ should have to put up with things because people get the impression it doesn’t bother him.
Whether the other drivers notice, well probably they do but its not happening just to Lando. Did Lando realise how much toxicity was being thrown at Max after Austria or Mexico? Did he try and calm things with the media or did he double down and make things worse for Max? 
As for taking Lando’s words out of context. That definitely happens from time to time, the same as with any driver. Media goes for clickbait headlines and run with them. The problem is that Lando has also said things that haven’t been taken out of context and that people still find distasteful. The comments about it not being talent and being luck did not come across well. I was tempted to give him the benefit on that one and assume he was referring to himself and saying it was not him being untalented but unlucky but then he doubled down by saying nobody deserved to win the race more than George - how can I take that any other way other than the fact he was saying Max didn’t ‘deserve’ to win the race. 
As for Lando saying he thought he could win the WDC, if he didn’t think he could win it this year then to me that would be more of a concern. He has a championship winning car and has done for most the season, if he can’t win it now then when?! He should have been confident that he could win or at least put up a good fight. I would have had no problem with him openly saying he is going for the championship. Look at Charles who is not afraid to say that whilst it is still possible he is still fighting. I think part of the problem here lies with Mclaren because they should have been fully backing Lando and hyping him up but seemed to flip flop back and forth about whether they thought he was truly in the fight. It’s hardly going to give Lando confidence when his team don’t seem to be backing him as strongly as they could be. 
As for Brazil, Lando didn’t have a great race. George got past him at the start. He made too many errors. Charles finished in front of him despite starting behind him. Max, Esteban and Pierre took a risk staying out on those worn inters, they gambled on the fact the race would be red flagged but also on their abilities and confidence to keep the car on track under those conditions. They all did extremely well and deserved their podium spots. The most important thing though is that all the drivers came away without serious injuries because over the course of that weekend there were numerous occasions where entertainment was put over safety. If a driver felt they had to pit for safety reasons then I am glad they took that step.
Lando is younger than Max but I don’t think we need to baby him in terms of his racing or in terms of giving him a free pass with what he says in the media. He is 24 years old, the same age Max was when Max won his first championship under very intense pressure. 
I think you are correct about confidence or self worth affecting him. Whilst I wouldn't like to comment to much on his mentality, to me (and I don’t tend to watch too many of his interviews so I could be wrong) he seems to flop back and forth between being overly critical of himself and then also not taking accountability and saying someone else just had the fastest car or were lucky. I think it would be really good for him to be able to look as objectively as possible about where he has actually made mistakes and can improve but also being able to pick out the things he has done well and be proud of those things. 
Overall I don’t think any drivers should have to put up with the amount of hate that they have to put up with but Lando is not the only one to receive hate and, dare I say it, I don’t even think it has been as vicious as some of the things I have seen over the years. Social media is toxic and people should be more mindful and realise these are real people - all of them!! 
Also, once again lets be thankful that nobody was seriously hurt over the weekend and lets hope the Fia take steps to act more swiftly when safety cars and red flags are needed and that they put safety above other concerns.
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thegaylink · 2 days ago
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Biden and Harris shot themselves on the foot but sure the 500k people who voted Stein are to blame
Many things to work on here.
1. Stein is not the only 3rd party candidate.
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All together, this amounts to 2,097,242 votes
2 million votes that were wasted on candidates that everybody knew wouldn't win. When we say every vote counts, this is why. They ADD UP. These numbers can change the course of an election, and they were tossed aside.
2. I never said 3rd party voters are the only ones at fault. If you chose not to vote, you are as much to blame as Trump supporters. Non-voters also make up an enormous number of people. Those kinds of numbers can change the course of an election, and they were discarded by people who chose to remain ignorant, uneducated, and uninvolved.
3. I assume you are the same person who sent me an anon message that says "genocide is bad" and YES. That's exactly what I said. Trump has been very clear about his plans for Gaza. He will not help them. He will continue to fund the IDF and support Isreal. He will help Putin invade even more European countries, and in doing so, he will fund the murders of hundreds of thousands of innocent people. I understand that Kamala Harris has contributed to the horrid deaths in Gaza, but the chances of getting a ceasefire/stopping support of Isreal were much better under her than Trump. If you seriously believe that voting 3rd party is going to help the people of Gaza, you are just as ignorant and uneducated as those who support the genocide.
4. Even with the genocides going on, the president's biggest loyalty should still be to the people of THIS country. They should be fighting for the rights, liberties, and happiness of the American people. Out of every candidate on the ballot, Harris has shown that she is loyal to America. She had worked in all 3 branches of the government, she has worked her way up and worked hard to get to where she is. She understands the struggles the average American faces. Trump is loyal to his own pocket, and that's it. He makes decisions not based on good values, but on how much money he's set to make. He is greedy in his professional and personal life. He takes from people over and over again, whether it's by taking their money, their trust, or their bodies. He grew up rich and stayed that way by running back to the comfort of his father so he can take more from him. He ran his business into the ground repeatedly, he ran his marriage into the ground, and he ran this country into the ground. He has no sense of loyalty. Not to his family, not to this country, and not to our people. He is loyal to himself and his wallet, and that's it. To see all of this evidence, these testaments to their character, these reflections of their values and morals, and still decide to use your vote for a candidate that you know will not be able to win even one state, even one county, shows where your loyalties lie. It is a testament to your character and a testament to your values. If you vote 3rd party, you do not value the people of this country. You want to be able to say you voted, to let people think that you used your power and your voice, while allowing your voice to be silenced. You want the praise from voting, but refuse to help. When you vote 3rd party, you prove your loyalties lie only to yourself, not to your community, and not to others. You are thinking only of your conscience, despite the fact that your poor choices will lead to thousands of deaths. You do it so you feel better when you lose, instead of fighting to win. Nobody will never agree with everything a candidate believes in, but elections are not for you to elect someone just like you, they are to elect someone who will lead the country with its people in mind, with loyalties to their people. If you vote 3rd party, you have failed at your role in this election.
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courtmartialme · 23 hours ago
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Hey! Sorry in advance if this is word vomit-y and a mess im literally crying rn lol
Ok so i found u for ur trans riza art and at first i was like yo cool explicitly trans art! Then i went thru ur blog and found there was so much here and it made me so fucking happy. Like we (trans mascs) domt get as much representation so its really meaningful when u find it in the wild but then when its genuinely good A+ quality content too and theres just so much of it? Words cant describe how fucking happy and seen i felt.
Ive been following u for a while now and just like. Youre so inspiring to me? Like your art is goals its so fucking good, when i see your art it makes me want to draw and improve my own art. Your brainrot and like willingness to do your own thing in regards to trans riza and ur AU art is also just so inspiring to me. And like as a trans masc creator i guess its so inspiring to see you succeed if that makes sense.
As to why im crying rn, i just found ur trans riza comic and its Unlocking things in me its making me cry so hard rn dhddhddnbdjdbdfbnffb like it just makes me feel sm hope for my own future? And idk its just really nice to see such good content and representation that really understands and gets the "trans experience" if that makes sense. So like yeah dhdjdjf just thank you so much for being so inspiring to me and (others bc im sure its not just me that feels like this) and for sharing your art!
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that's a very sweet message thank you !!! i'm glad my trans riza art resonates with you ^_^
though anon, i don't think we are "under represented" at all. maybe in big media? sure, idk, i don't pay attention tbh. but anon there are a lot of transmasc artists making transmasc art out there you just have to pay attention :] and i think this kind of art is better appreciated when you stop using words such as "content" and "representation" to describe art made by artists in the wild and save it for big tv shows lol. ofc i get the trans experience, i'm trans. but maybe my trans experience isn't the same as yours. who gets to decide if something so personal is bad or good content? or representation? i think by applying those standards you're only limiting yourself and others
of course, i know you only meant well with your message! but i took the opportunity to ramble about something i think about a lot <3 i'm honored you find my art inspiring bc i honestly mostly draw whatever i feel like drawing lol even though trans riza au isn't very deep or personal or anything, it's important to me so i draw it. i hope all of us can forever create more art about our experiences without worrying if it's good representation or whatnot because that's a silly word to describe the feelings of real people :]
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katerinaaqu · 11 hours ago
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It's hard talking about the disrespect to Greek mythology and religion when every argument people brings to the table is "look at this original novel that is adapted into a movie that is turned into a tv show that didn't follow the original plot" as if the Greek culture is on par with fictional story instead of a tradition and heritage of real life people.
A media that is broadcast to the public and make accessible to everyone that erased the values and lesson of a cultural story still can do harm when it feeds misunderstanding and misinterpretion of the culture it originated from.
Greek people has the right to be upset when their culture keeps getting misrepresented, doesn't matter the good intentions behind it, why must it be at the expense of Greek culture?
You can create arts that is so beautiful and so praises by many, and years from now you could look back and see what an amazing experience and community you have created out of it. But at the same time you also continue feeding the distorted ideas and flawed understanding about a culture as a whole.
All because you took from a culture and want to tell your own story.
Retelling is telling back the story. Any addition or new ideas you bring is when there's part in the original story that is vague or open for interpretations. Even then, when you elaborate, you follows the already presented ideas that the original story already established.
If it so beloved to you and so meaningful to you, why couldn't you be faithful when adapting and retelling with the talents you have?
Shouldn't it be better if you created an original story inspired by it? If you feels that the values and standards are not to your taste, but you so loved the stories and could related to it, isn't it better to create original characters and settings with your own voice and narrative with the story inspiration as the backdrop?
At this point, what is greek mythology and lore to you? That makes you so passionate so inspired, that spark your imagination that encourage you to be creative but it is at the ruin of old age history that is meaningful for the Greek identity. Do you really appreciate the values and moral that you gained from the stories, or did you forget yourself along the way?
I couldn't have said it better! I agree to all that because that is exactly my sentiment as well! On one hand of course I am proud that Greek mythology contnues to inspire and people want to create stuff on them or that even now there are people who think the values of Greek Mythology are universal and they are!
But as you said it pains me to no limits when stories that were literally created from people based on their culture and religion to pass on messages are not only distorted beyond recognition but also to a degree where nowadays most people of Greek mythology liking spectrum know only how terrible villains some men are (in actual mythology they are complicated personas) and how weak women are (there are literlly figures in Greek mythology that are so strong personas that honestly I am shocked. See Helen for example how she is the most projected persona as a pretty face that does nothing when Helen literally taks back to Aphrodite, she is the only one who sees through Odysseus's disguise, she has knowledge of medicine and so much more for once) Mythology loses all its meaning, all its allegory and all its cultural spectrum because as you said people do not use it to retell the story, they use the word "retelling" as their excuse to just tell a story that fits them by using the popularity of greek mythology and yes as you said why cannot they say their original stories while using inspiration from Greek mythology?
Honestly I have nothing to add! You said it all dear Anon!
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brutalitybunny · 1 day ago
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warrior cats/spirit of justice au that i cannot stop thinking about
under the readmore is a bunch of screenshots of posts i made rambling about it + design notes + misc
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dragonstorm is dragon(fly) and storm mostly because dhurke's real name is derived from druk, the bhutanese thunder dragon,... even when he's leader of defiantclan i don't think he'd be dragonstar because it's LAME!!!! he's not intending for defiantclan to be official. he was not sanctioned by starclan. its fine. his markings are pretty self explanatory..... it's really just his hair LOL maybe i could have pushed more of his jacket into the design but i was originally trying to keep it simple...
runningheart is bc datz's jp name is like "fleeing as fast as you can" and hes always RUNNING and Ok you get it. i already explained it. cheers to /beauzos for pointing out that -heart is very datz though! his scarf is just a ratty piece of fabric he likes. i don't know how it gets on him don't ask me. i don't know where the piercings came from don't ask me. despite having a bobbed tail, i think he's incredibly agile and graceful. compensation king! his markings mimic his gloves+boots and harness, and the scars on his shoulder mimic the defiant dragon's band he wears :3
sunsight is a kit they found...probably a kittypet who got lost and they were like ok well he's ours now ^_^. named him sunkit/paw because the marking on his back looks like the sun. when they return him to twolegsplace for his own safety, he's picked up and named apple... but when he eventually returns to clan life, he's given the name sunsight because dragonstorm hopes his perceptiveness will help bring justice to [khura'inclan]. and because it rhymes with spiritflight. LMFAO the sunback marking is kindddd of like his attorney's badge and the band around his wrist is You know what it is
spiritflight was a pain in the ass for no reason. he's long. he needs to be. he's like they turned a borzoi into a cat. like dragonstorm, his tail calls back to his long hair... the swirls on his body are mimicking his flowy flowy sash, and also, just a way of stylizing mackerel tabby swirls that i like :3 spiritflight was a name entirely made by /beauzos THANKYOUUU because..you know...spiritual freak..the flight brings to mind that he uses religion as a way to flee from the horrors of It All. to me. it seems graceful and elegant but with an underlying current of "let it go and move on"...
i don't have names for amara or ga'ran cats but rayfacat would be called lilypool (/beauzos) because its cute and i want it. it's cute. NEKLNDFG khura'inclan also doesnt have a name yet... they live IN khura'in so that can't be it. we'll figure something out. im obsessed w these cats. I love these cats.
this is all because of the anon that reminded me of dear fellow traveler, which i only know from a talljake amv i saw. it's all connected!!!!!
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just-null · 1 year ago
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your yan!noritoshi is so wisnwonwpwjw RAAAHHHH going absolutely feral ... i want him . ive had so many thoughts abt him as like a yandere n then i saw your art n absolutely lost it /pos
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IM ALL EARS, BABY!!!!!!!!!!!
GOD FUCK OKAY, HOLD ON, I ALSO HAVE SOME RAMBLES AND THOUGHTS ABOUT YANDERE NORITOSHI BUT IM GOING TO PUT THEM UNDER THE CUT.
I AM IN NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR UNLEASHING MY TJOUGHTS OFFICER. IT WAS MY GLORIOUS CULT MEMBER RIGHT HERE.
MERRY OCTOBER YALL
[disclaimer: im not a writer, but I want to get better. think of this as my practice. it ended up being so fucking long, but i swear it's just rambles, not a fic]
[warning for blood under the cut? keep that in mind for future posts]
OKAY LETS GO.
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Bro ok so. if I'm not too delusional (yet) and don’t see him as a yandere, then this guy (Noritoshi) is still a strict fuck. he'd put you on the same level of importance as his clan if not a bit higher. but only by a bit. Your relationship would gradually bloom into something meaningful to him that he’d cherish you wholeheartedly. Only then would you grow in importance to Noritoshi significantly. He'd keep his resolve and all those healthy green flags. Because honestly? Noritoshi is just a green flag, he's so sweet..
But let's twist that into a yandere setting. I don't even need to twist too much, Noritoshi as a yandere is way too fitting.
Noritoshi was abandoned by his mother as a child, thereby fueling his lifelong goals to do as she said and bring her back. He didn't even think on his own accord, nor did he try to find a different way, or even follow her! He accepted his fate and made it his mission to accomplish the goal he was given. Despite the intense pressure of his worth being determined by an ability he was born with and the high expectations from the Kamo clan, he perseveres. That is until [spoilers] Noritoshi is exiled by his clan because of some Kenajku shit. All his hard work and future goals were ripped away from him without a second thought in an instant. Noritoshi was always the second thought time and time again, and now left as a man with nothing but the failure of his desired future.
That wasn't even the yandere part, that was all canon, what the fuck.
Yandere Noritoshi is the type to cling to scraps... He reminds me of an obsessive and protective yandere. obsessive about you because you become his everything.. his goal, his will to keep going, the light at the end of the tunnel. he wants all of you, from the best parts of you to your worst. He's also protective, because he cant handle losing yet another person so important to him. He'd rather tear himself apart than lose you.
He also seems mostly self-aware but can overthink to the point of delusion. For example, you pat him on the back and tell him he did a great job on something. He knows it's nothing to dwell on, but why does he feel like there's more to your words? Should he read in between the lines? but there's only one line! From then on, his mind would reel until he landed on a favorable conclusion. You meant that he was the only one who did great. The others paled in comparison in your eyes therefore you must favor Noritoshi in some way.. right?
Since Noritoshi was pretty deprived of any emotional support, you won't even have to try too hard to get his heart thumping. If you were to give him even just a bit more attention and care than the average person, like making sure he's eating alright or remarking that he's paler than usual after restocking his blood bags, he's hooked. He's self-aware enough to realize his blooming fondness for you is one-sided, so he simply admires you. that is, at the start. Note that Noritoshi is still new to these feelings so he's.. awkward. It's really cute.
Though these moments were cute to you, they slowly became horribly blissful to Noritoshi. Poor you, completely unaware of how you're slowly corrupting him in, what he thinks, is the best way possible just by giving him your attention. He thinks you're the last and only person still believing in him, so much so that everything and everyone else slowly becomes minuscule in the grand seam of things. He feels happy around you, like he matters, like he has someone to trust, like he has someone who won't abandon him. Because of this, he sees you as a new goal. A new hope. Failing you is not an option. Disappointing you is not an option. Hell, even a frown from you is unacceptable in his eyes.
Noritoshi tries to cling to you at this point in his own way... He enjoys it when you speak to him, or even sit next to him, so much so that he seeks you out when you're not there. You'd feel eyes boring holes into the back of your head, a sense of being followed, sometimes seeing your shadow accompanied by another, every time you turn around to be surprised by a familiar face. His footsteps are so quiet that you barely notice Noritoshi walking around.
Unfortunately, due to Noritoshi’s inexperience, the only way he knows how to impress people is by being “perfect” a.k.a. his strict, pain in the ass, annoying heir shtick. He would be the type to get on your case, scold, coddle, nitpick, correct you, and practically look like he's trying to bully you when in reality he's trying to hear praise from you for "helping" you. He’s waiting for you to see the affection and adoration behind his nagging, is he not being obvious enough? oh well, at least your eyes are on him for now. When most people in Noritoshi's life have either put him second or flat-out abandoned him, he's satisfied with anything he can get from you. Though he'd prefer praise, the thought of your attention being given to another even for a second makes his stomach feel like it's tying in knots, so he settles for your annoyed tuts and glares.
Of course, after a while, you'd get tired of this and tell him to knock it off. Or some variation of what a decent human being would do like, “Do whatever you want, but don't meddle in people's business.”
You KNOW he's going to be picking that apart in the middle of the night while looking up at the ceiling. What did you mean by that? Do you mean ANYTHING he wants? As long as he doesn’t bother anyone? Were you talking about yourself and everyone in general? Were you talking about someone specific? Did you leave it up for him to decide? Thoughts and questions circle in his head until he twists your words enough into something that he favors again. Ah, you allow him to do whatever he wants so long as he doesn't get in your way. But he wants to be alongside you... Did you mean in your way to the point of annoyance? Noted. From then on, Noritoshi's strictness softened into light nagging and bearable hovering. He'd knock it off completely through gritted teeth and furrowed brows if you threatened him with the silent treatment. He'll slowly start it up again until you begin ignoring him, only then will he get the hint and relax a bit. only until next time, of course.
The intensity of Noritoshi's coddling can fluctuate depending on your actions. (recklessness, obedience, shyness, etc.) it's his love language.
It's a completely different story if someone else decides to nag you as Noritoshi does... If someone scolds you, Noritoshi's on the offense. He's known for his occasional bluntness and sassy remarks, but this time... He's contradicting himself all in an attempt to get the other person to back away. If the one scolding you brings up points Noritoshi used in the past, he firmly denies them all and stands by your side. He'd rather sound hypocritical than let someone else care for you the way he does. Noritoshi stands in front of you, almost guarding you with his body and begins his barrage of deflective comments through his clenched jaw such as “That's not your place to say” “Shut it, they did no wrong.” “You don't know the reason why they did so, leave them alone.” and other things similar to that. Jeez, take your advice Noritoshi.. He’d argue and become antagonistic towards someone scolding you, even if it's exactly what he was about to do.
The same goes for someone who tries to be gentle with you to a lesser degree. It's nice that people see how wonderful you are, but having your smiles and kind words directed at anyone else other than Noritoshi is... Upsetting. The resentment gradually pools in the pit of his stomach and suddenly finds himself impulsively moving towards you and this "friend." He stands in between you and the kind person, trying his best to conceal his sneers. He wants nothing more than to have the third party get swallowed up by the ground or hit by a car, but he keeps his composure. Noritoshi sternly states how he’ll handle everything from then on and gives the third party a glare that's much more hateful than usual… Finally! Noritoshi has you to himself again! All is right in the world once more...
Noritoshi has always been on a very tight rope... Any wrong step and it’s going to snap. The more Noritoshi gets attached to you, the easier it is to convince himself that it's okay to cross certain lines to make sure you're safe with him. Even if that line he’s crossing, includes murder. It'd happen quicker if he caught feelings after the whole incident with the Kamo clan. You'd be the only thing he has left, the only thing he'd cling onto with every fiber of his being, emotionally and sometimes physically.
And like every fairy tale, a problem unconventionally shows itself much to Noritoshi's dismay... Noritoshi is shown to be prideful at times. Because of this, he'd try to conceal his more embarrassing emotions and reactions towards you. He wants to be seen as someone strong you can rely on, a steady pillar to your stability, someone who will do anything you wish at the drop of a hat, but it’s almost impossible to execute when he feels like he's nothing but putty in your hands at the slightest sign of positive reciprocation.
If Noritoshi felt his face heating up because your laugh caught him off guard, he'd turn his head to hide how that simple action made him nearly melt into mush. If your hand brushed against his, he'd quickly swipe it away. Not because he doesn't want to touch you, but because you'd feel how shaky and sweaty his palms got with just a graze. Noritoshi's gaze always lingers on his bow if you ever touch it causing his aim to decline in accuracy significantly.
He mentally curses himself out every time he pulls away from you because he knows he's sending mixed signals. Noritoshi loves you endlessly, but please spare his fragile heart. Your presence overwhelms him like no other, and he's utterly conflicted on how to act. He can handle being by your side like he wants, but the second your 100% focus is on him and only him, he’ll start to squirm under your gaze. Noritoshi wants to impress you! Stop being so mesmerizing for just a second so he can gather his thoughts and not embarrass himself! A-ah, but don't look away!!!
Tl;dr Noritoshi as a yandere is needy and petty as hell, but will explode if he gets an ounce of affection! He’s also! A creepy hopeless romantic who sends you mixed signals!
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deoidesign · 3 months ago
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I’m a trans man that recently got diagnosed with hyper mobile eds, so now seeing Steve makes me extra happy, because cool disabled ftm rep. Thanks for making the radical dude bro, he’s funky.
same disability (waving hand emoji)
Always extremely fulfilling to know my work makes people happy in some small way, it means a lot. Thank you for sharing with me
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presiding · 1 year ago
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How you'd rewrite Dishonored death of the outsider if it was fully fledged game with 10 missions? (like Dishonored or Dishonored 2)
Oooh!! Enrichment in my enclosure - thank you for asking! Thinking about a total rewrite was a great exercise. Fair disclaimer: I haven’t read the books & their canon-status can’t hurt me. To me, the Dishonored games stand out due to their immsim design philosophy, and thinking about some of the industry reasons for DotO’s departure from that, if I could make a standalone game with ~ten levels I would, but with the same budget I’d also happily make two DLCs made slowly over a longer timeframe with greater attention to detail.
Game structure
Finding Daud // Billie’s past
The fate of the Outsider // Billie’s future
Game story
Setting & Characters
Billie: What has Billie been doing since she’s returned to Serkonos? Knowing the Dreadful Wale will sink, she’s sold it for scrap & has set up an agency in Lower Aventa. She’s something of a detective/odd-jobs man (& assassin when it suits her). Business is booming, life is good. I think a long-running implication that she's becoming Daud in some ways would make for an interesting subplot.
Karnaca: a city that unfolds. In the first levels, Billie feels like a forgotten woman, a ghost slipped through the cracks, but as levels progress there are hints & references to how her past actions have affected others & shaped the city
Alignments: Witches, gangs, religion, industry; missions for clients who can’t necessarily pay their way. Missions that allow the player to explore/understand Karnaca in a deeper way.
Daud: Billie is unsure if Daud again will bring her any closure. She’s been thinking of him since her time with Emily, and his name keeps popping up.
Deirdre: the charm is a more functional heart, similar to Jessamine, as well as her own character design. Perhaps she doesn’t see Deirdre until she chooses the powers, or until she’s in the void (see next point)
First arc: Finding Daud // Billie’s past
Powers: the Outsider offers Billie powers even though her life is finally, actually good, so she’s pissed off. A choice - she can take them, or play no powers mode.
Breanna Ashworth is this arc’s villain - she wants Delilah back, and knows that Daud has banished her before, wants to know how he did it. Grief & desperation has changed her, and she no longer has her high society veneer. The remnants of the Karnaca coven, now powerless, have stolen from the Overseers to arm themselves to the teeth, and to neutralise Daud’s powers, in addition to black bonecharms.
Billie’s in a race against time against Breanna to find Daud, but by the last level it becomes clear that Breanna *has* found Daud, and has been torturing him for information about the void. Her dynamic with Billie is complicated by their past.
I think betrayal would be an interesting theme, so maybe one of the levels gives you the option to ally yourself with Breanna under false pretences.
Second arc: choosing the fate of the Outsider // Billie’s future
Delilah is the core villain, but she’s obsessed with killing the Outsider so she can take his place, having been violently ripped from her perfect world in her own painting by Breanna (who meant well), & knowing the Empire doesn’t hold her interest... but a perfectly mouldable void & infinite power does take her fancy.
As remorseful Daud is obsessing about preventing Delilah from taking power, Billie’s doing some detective work and learns more about the Outsider (he’s not showing up and monologuing - she’s finding this out herself. A level idea could be a raid on a ‘haunted’ houses where the void is thin)
Delilah succeeds in taking the Outsider's place, leaving the Outsider dead or mortal depending on if you are able to save him. Delilah has split her soul from herself before and she’s very much clever enough to learn the Outsider’s name to render him mortal.
Daud knows he’s dying, though, and it might be an ultimate sacrifice to save both Billie’s life, and the Outsider’s.
So during the final battle, there’s an option to make Daud the Outsider, because Daud wants Billie and the Outsider to have a shot at a normal life, and his life was forfeit in his own mind…
… or, reluctantly accepting the Outsider’s help, Billie finds a way to cut the void’s access to the world, rendering Delilah an all powerful god over a dead & silent world.
Because of the past/present focus of this you could even have levels set in the past - missions with Billie & Daud. Perhaps Billie as POV character, and Daud dropping by the way that Billie did in Knife of Dunwall. That’d be neat.
A heap of ideas here, hope there was something you liked :)
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wormchaser · 2 months ago
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you are complaining about complaining too much while complaining about the fact that maybe people dont like you because you complain too much while complaining about being alone. just stop complaining and do something about it. talk to people. reach out. dont just wait for someone to come to you first.
i have tried reaching out to different people in the past year or so but it never works. i understand its my own fault for letting relationships decay because of my own insecurities and issues but that doesn't mean i can just will myself to think or believe different things about myself. it's a self fulfilling prophecy ; i think people don't like me so i don't reach out so people don't like me etc . i am sure you do not want to hear me list all the things i want to say in response so i will put them in the tags.
#every time i try to reach out or talk to someone it goes nowhere. i dont have any social skills anymore and have no clue how to keep a#conversation going. half the time even when i do people stop replying to me. which is fine theydont owe me a reply but still feels likeshit#when i tried to make one new irl friend it just didn't work because they have better options for friends. we spoke occasionally but never#messaged online like ever and would only talk when we happened to be in the same place. i tried multiple times to organize a time to hangou#none of which came to pass. i dont understand why this one didn't work because i thought this person was interested in being my friend but#i guess i was wrong or thought they were more interested than they really were.#i have a problem with reaching out anyway which has been a problem i have had since i was like 11. reaching out to people first doesnt come#easily to me - in the beginning when i was a lot younger i didn't want to bother people with my presence & thought if i were to come to#someone first they would feel pressured into talking to me when they didn't want to. this is stupid of course. but has still not left me as#something i feel is very core to the way i act today. waiting for someone to come to me first feels like my only option because i do not#know how to reach out effectively (my evidence being i have failed every time i have tried) & i am convinced people dont like me in the#first place and do not want me to approach them.#i dont really even know who to reach out to in the first place. my world is extremely narrow. the number of people i know has shrunk#significantly and my standing in their eyes collectively has also shrunk significantly in the past few years. i feel like every person i#was once friends with wants nothing to do with me. i feel as if i have burned every bridge possible.#when it comes to the fact i complain all the time . which i know of course is annoying. its because i cant find any kind of joy in anything#i do or see or whatever. nothing makes me happy - i only see things to complain about. all stimulus seems grating and the world seems#specifically catered to make me miserable. all i can really do is complain. i treat this blog like a stream of consciousness and when most#of that consciousness is occupied with how much i hate being alive the blog will mostly be complaining. its a vicious cycle lol .#anyway . i guess the key theme is low self esteem begets low self esteem in many ways. mental illness begets mental illness.#i am not really saying this to anyone least of all to you anon. i just felt compelled to recount i guess for myself the reasons that came#to mind for why i am like this. i am talking to myself here
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iiusia · 1 month ago
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Is ir okay to not feel it as a christian if youre still doing it? If i read the word and do what it says, but i never feel. the feelings. Is it normal? I feel so lost. Ive prayed so much.
hi!! i'm going to assume this question is coming from this post of mine. if its not sorry but i hope my answer still stands!
my point in that post is that it's not all about feeling the feelings. honestly, i would say that usually, Feeling Strong Emotion/being overtaken by emotion over it is something that is not necessarily common. of course, it depends on the person. some people are just Strong Feelers but that's not everyone! (i am not one of these people, for example).
if you don't Always Feel The Supernatural Presence Of God and you don't feel emotional every time you think about the Lord, or whatever standard you want to set, that's not an indicator of your faith. (or if you're truly saved.)
what's important is knowing. and believing. do you truly Know And Believe that the Lord Jesus, the Son of God, died on the cross for your sins? do you Know and Believe that the God of the Bible is real? that He created the world and everything in it? that He sent His only begotten Son to die out of love for us?
"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1
that's what's important!!!! not if you cry during worship or if a sermon touches you. not Feeling A Supernatural Presence. if you know God is with you always, then you don't need to feel it for proof. you know it. you have faith.
modern-day christian culture has turned christianity into solely something you Feel. big displays of emotions during worship, people talking about visions and speaking in tongues and being filled by the Holy Spirit, etc. (this attitude has also led to the culture of "if i don't feel that the Lord is telling me that this is wrong, or if i feel that the Lord is telling me that this is okay, then it is.) but you can't rely on your feelings.
"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" Jeremiah 17:9
you want to hear God speak? you open your Bible. it's Literally God's word. everything you need to Know about God and how you should live your life is in there.
basically: anon, lack of Strong Emotion over living the faith does not mean that you're doing something wrong. however! i want to cover all my bases, just to be sure. you mention "reading the word and doing what it says". you might already know this, but being a christian isn't just about acts or works. the entire point of the gospel is that we cannot be saved through what we do, only through faith. it goes back to what i was saying about faith earlier on. if you find yourself treating this life like a checklist, like a "i'll do this, and this, and this, and then God will help me/love me", then that might be something to meditate about.
"For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast." Ephesians 2:8-9
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motordyk · 8 months ago
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maybe this vacation was a good idea
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transformers-synergize · 1 year ago
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Comment characters I've redesigned that ya want to see more art of, and I might draw a quick thing of them.
I'm currently working on some bigger stuff for this project, but I don't wanna leave this blog postless while to do so
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atomiclace · 4 months ago
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who knew that some agere people would be the worst type of people to exist (talking about you spinny)
#dont get your toddler army to do your anon hate and unblock me on discord if u want to talk#ik you act like a baby and thats fine but if youre bold enough to try to get me paranoid (and fail) then u should be bold enough to dm me#yknow without hiding yourself#either do that or leave us alone girl!! move on#like why do you preach about moving on to a new era and then actively seek out trouble ????#get a job or something#trying to make me think my bf is cheating on me is such a weird thing to do and a big low for you spinny. it's actually sad#the worst part youre not even good at doing it. youre making shit up from what you THINK you know & hiding behind ur friend#its okay to fall out of friendships and im not even trying to meddle with your life but you are literally actively seeking out problems#and thats so pathetic. especially when you paint yourself all high and might over us ??? clearly we tried everything for you#until we got to a point where we were literally drowning because we have other shit in our lives too#you keep losing friends and complain about it. maybe consider why??? because of lack of communication and empathy!! youre just mean!#especially to those who've always tried so hard to have your back and defend you! (buka and me!!!)#yet you didnt care. you dont communicate and expect us to read minds & you demand things#and u say that a real friend should know when to reach out & ya but when it gets to a point where i feel like im drowning? no thanks#im prioritizing myself and my mental health im sorry#not to mention i was ALWAYS IN THE MIDDLE IN YOUR BULLSHIT#so grow up. actually. and if you wanna dm me then unblock me and we can talk#if you want to keep hiding behind your toddler friends acting like youre all small and sweet and babies then go ahead but leave us alone?#at least ill have closure and finally come to terms that you're not rlly a good person and u use your illnesses to excuse ur behavior#because i still think about you and wish you were our friend but after everything thats happened (this being the cherry on top for ME)#then maybe you really just are a shitty person and you do more harm than good#soz to everyone else reading this just continue scrolling LOL#its drama cus an ex friend is sending their toddler militia on me for some reason???#delete later
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