#this year is especially sucking ass
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i hate christmas so much i’m sorry idccccc it’s boring overdone and annoying if i was walter white i would steal that shit too
#this year is especially sucking ass#spent the morning getting annoyed by my parents#and then drove 6 hours to stupid seattle too see my older sister . WHO DIDNT EVEN WANT TO SEE US TONIGHT#just been laying in this stupid airbnb missing my cat being grumpy#also it’s fine that my sister didn’t want to see us like i get it i’m just annoyed in general like i didn’t even wanna travel in the first#place 😭 esp bc i already traveled from school to be at my moms like travel inside of travel??? you want me dead??#and i’m planning on coming BACK UP TO STUPID SEATTLE in a week anyways#so i could just see her then bc i hateeeee family things like . even if i fuck with them individually the group vibes are boring at best#and rancid at worst . let me outtt#and even on a good year christmas is just so fucking boring and annoying like who cares .
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as much as I would like to believe that Frederick and Asuka could be friends again, like, Freddy is building that rocket as fast as he can to kick his ass before the residual FoC and Gear power leaves his body. I'm sorry. I know I'm the Asuka apologist but dude. Nearly 2 centuries of the most unimaginable agony and festering sense of betrayal, compounded by Asuka goading him intentionally on multiple occassions (his reasoning behind all this goading aside) he is not just going to be able to let that go.
Asuka's crimes against humanity are one thing, you can argue til you're blue in the face about that and there's actual ground to cover there, but what he did to Frederick and Aria is like... damn dude. You, without their consent, turned them into gears. You lied about it to their faces too. Aria, someone who is cited as having her identity and who she is as a human being be one of the most important things to her, trusted you to put her into cryosleep because you said you'd find a way to save her so that she could be with Frederick. She didn't want that, she wanted to stay and spend the time she had left with Frederick instead, but she let you convince her cause she trusted you. And you took away her body, identity, and autonomy. You took Sol's humanity from him following that, lied to him about it, and then spent 200 years pissing him off so bad on purpose to make sure he'd always be there to help you fix everything. Oh, and then you made him kill his wife that you mutilated. Twice, essentially.
I love you Asuka, but shit, that's all kinds of levels of fucked my man. Frederick justifiably hates you really REALLY bad. I hope we get something in Dual Rulers settling this, cause Frederick just letting that go even following the events of Strive is just kinda unrealistic.
#sairambles#guilty gear#frederick bulsara#sol badguy#asuka r kreutz#aria hale#I've been thinking about it a lot recently#I think it'd take me like actual years to cover just this dynamic between the three of them alone#like Asuka and Sol being friends is important to me but#it's not really feasible. Sol's whole life and world was ruined for about 2 centuries#and Asuka is manipulative! He admits to that!#like at the end of the day it sucks but the price of saving the world was his most important relationships#and that is a tragedy because his very desire to cling desperately to the most important people in his life#is exactly what ruined him in the end#and that fucks me up SO bad#and then you gotta feel for Freddy too#like he essentially got caught in the crossfire#I forgot to talk about it in the post but he also had to spend those centuries suppressing violent gear bloodlust#like he wears that limiter for a reason#and Asuka made him that way on purpose. He “needed a warrior” as he says in Overture#it's all just. so fucked#it's crazy to see how much AsuSol there is and then how much “Sol hates Ky” there is next to it#Like... Sol and Ky are borderline familial#ESPECIALLY by the end of Xrd#Asuka though? He wants to kill that guy. Or at the VERY least beat him within an inch of his life#and even then man like#is that going to be enough?#after aria and 200 years of agony#like how much ass beating is really going to make you feel better? Is there any amount of violence that will let you get it all out?#shit man I don't think any amount would be enough for me
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rdj the (whitewashed) electric boogaloo
This is a reminder to everyone who's excited about RDJ's casting as Doctor Doom that this casting is whitewashing. Victor Von Doom is a Romani character and has been a Romani character since his introduction in the 1960s. (Fantastic Four Annual #2 [1964]) Not only that, but his Roma identity and the persecution he and his family faced due to it is integral to his character, it is what forms his identity. (Books of Doom by Ed Brubaker) Even if on the off chance this casting is meant to not be Victor but instead be some variant of Tony or whomever else becoming Doctor Doom, it is damaging to the character to rob him of that important cultural background. Doctor Doom does not exist without that history. Fans have been pushing hard to cast Doom as a Romani actor for years, especially since the MCU has whitewashed other Romani characters. (Wanda, Pietro, etc) This casting is not a celebration moment, it's fucking heartbreaking that the MCU repeatedly ignores the important and nuanced cultural backstories of characters.
I know I can't change anybody's mind on whether or not you want to be excited about RDJ's return to the MCU. But I do think at the very least you should be mad that the MCU is baiting us all and destroying nuanced and interesting characters for the sake of self-referential easter eggs and nostalgia bait. Because that's what it is. Feel how you'd like to feel about RDJ's return, but personally, this is soul-sucking. I had such a deep love for the MCU as a teenager, it was obviously something incredibly formative to me, especially Tony Stark. This isn't recreating what I fell in love with the MCU for. This is turning a well-planned and artistic storyline of adaptations into cheap cash grabs and fan service. Because, I think we're past the point of being able to call the MCU an adaptation of anything. They can use existing characters' names and powers, but to say they're being properly adapted is laughable.
This is not an adaptation of Doctor Doom. This is RDJ the Electric Boogaloo because Marvel's fear of losing the interest of dedicated MCU fans overrides their willingness to tell stories that are genuine to the characters. I don't know what there is to be excited about that. The MCU has lost its authenticity and aside from a few projects, feels heartless. Every movie is a copy of a copy. This announcement isn't something celebratory, it feels like a death knell of a cinematic universe that's so desperate to cling to relevancy it's resorting to nostalgia for a character/actor who hasn't even been dead for a decade. We're not getting anything new, we're just rinsing and repeating the same song and dance.
I get it. I love Tony Stark, his death destroyed me and I to this day, rue the ending he got in Endgame. It misunderstood his arc and it robbed him of a satisfying conclusion. But the solution to that isn't dragging the corpse out of the grave five years later to whitewash an existing character with rich and interesting nuance, just to forcibly tie his existence in the MCU to Tony. Whether he is a variant or not. Why would you want someone else's fave's legacy to be destroyed simply so your fave's legacy can go on? Hell, if we were really all so hellbent on the return of RDJ and/or Tony to the MCU, we have the multiverse for a reason. There were other ways to do it that didn't whitewash and ruin someone else. This just. Isn't something to be happy about.
#... we will not be addressing that i'm a dead blog#no one say a WORD about my inactivity for 4 years this isn't about that /lh#also if anyone tries to get smart about “romani isn't a race” i don't care and you can shut up.#it's an ethnic and cultural identity. and it should be portrayed correctly.#ESPECIALLY for a character like *victor von doom* of all people. like it is fundamental to him.#i would've included panels of the comics mentioned but most of them use the g-slur and i don't wish to encourage that here#like listen i don't think you need to be a comics fan to be an mcu fan. they're so divorced from each other atp#nor do i think the mcu owes complete comic accuracy. but i do think you should at *least* care when characters are whitewashed.#look. i really don't want this to be a debate on if rdj's return is good or not#i've been frankly baffled at how many old mutuals are excited but. whatever if you want him back i get it.#but it shouldn't be like this. not at the expense of a different character.#this whole thing made me realize i'm *far* more jaded and turned off to the mcu than most of you guys are.#which is fair you can still be an mcu fan. if it brings you joy i'm so happy for you#but how does this like. bring joy i don't get it.#this is soulless. it's uninspired. it's done purely for shock value.#i occasionally get asks to this blog about why i left and asking me to come back#and i get it. i *want* to come back.#but i don't *care* about the mcu anymore. this is not the franchise i fell in love with.#i don't recognize what once meant everything to me.#winteriron will always hold a special place in my heart (as will tony stark)#but like. i just don't have love for it. and it sucks that this bullshit from marvel actively kills the love i had.#this sours tony stark to me. i'm sorry but it does. because was it really worth this? is this what his legacy has become?#this does cheapen his legacy btw. like without question. it turns him into a cheap cameo reference. heart of the mcu my ass.#my fandom circles have *massively* changed#i'm now entirely surrounded by comics fans bc my primary fandom is dc comics. that's what i'm up to these days#and the difference was actually baffling to me. everyone i follow now is *pissed* about this. comics twitter is so mad.#and then i see ppl on here excited and i'm just genuinely surprised this is something you want. i don't get it.#i don't say that to be rude. i just don't get it. how is *this* actually something people *want*.#do i still care about marvel? eh.#i like winter soldier comics and i could give a comprehensive rec list. and i read some other characters i deeply enjoy.
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icl i would be at least a little happy with almost any ending for stranger things but one thing that would ruin all of it would be an epilogue (of a decade or more later)
#it would just kinda ruin the fun of imagining them doing whatever tf i want them to these days yk#like even if everyone got together the way i wanted them and got the jobs i think fit etc it would still just kill the creativity#+ even the small things would annoy me like what if i just don’t like what one of them named their kids. or dresses like in 20 years#maybe i wanted them divorced by then but that would’ve angered the fans#maybe i wanted to imagine that single person’s future spouse myself (or keep them single in my head)#what if i want them to recover from this or that or still be working on it. what if i the adult/older actors look shit#anyways point is do not do an epilogue timeskip of more than 5/6years PLEASE i am begging u duffer brothers#stranger things#byler#<- u guys get me on this yk#even if byler isn’t canon at the end i can still at least imagine they do in uni or in their 30s or whenever#as long as there isn’t some fucking scene where mike and el r old and married in 2023 or something#would just kinda ruin all of it; making us see them as old ass adults with their entire lives set it stone yk#manifesting a few month/year timeskip where everyone gets a happy ending isn’t all “and then they lived a nice life in this specific way”#and especially manifesting that we don’t get an#“i haven’t seen you guys in decades how’ve you been? sucks that erica died in a car crash last year. she was almost 40”#type epilogue (if we must have one)#like no hate to amphibia and that one 80s movie but it just kinda makes what happened before a bit pointless if it focused on their#relationships at all#like cool we spent years watching these friendships grow and adapt only for u to go “yeah and we’re strangers now soz :)” like ok so none o#that lasted#idgaf if it’s “realistic” if i wanted realistic representation of childhood friends into adulthood id think about real life and shit#idk random rant if they do any of this shit i WILL kill all of them and then myself#ryan shut the fuck up
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this moment in the game where you're finally off the first planet always feels so good. god i love this game's voice actors and OST
#the outer worlds#tow#phineas welles#tow phineas welles#spark's outer worlds adventures#spark talks about nothing of relevance#like. it is. indescribable. and then right after this you get Felix#the only thing that sucks about the next leg of the game is i Just Don't Care About Roseway Quest#i know it's skippable but I ain't doing cascadia early👍#once again begging mutuals to play the outer worlds. especially with 2 coming next year#it's my most anticipated game for 2025#also: me looking between project moon-verse borderlands-verse and outer worlds-verse: i think i have a type!#(The type is future-age games that ask you to Destroy Capitalism with Cool Ass Weapons). also the Found Family.
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made a wholeeee smorgasbord of random foods and had a nice lil dinner with my niece. Let my indoor cat run around in the snow (she hated it)….I also ran around a bit….
#I have this intense need to take a very specific video in the cemetery of my favorite statue#and woke up to snow and by the time we got there it turned to grosssss ass rain#then it started crazy snowing of course after the sunset#got snowed in and went in to look and play guitars haha#it'll probably be gone tomorrow but someday i’ll get my snowy pics AND video hopefully#has to be snowing actively it's a very specific artistic urge ok#I have this rly neat motorized tripod gadget that my dad got me a while ago you can get the most incredible videos especially moving around#after my cemetery snow adventure I'm all set where's spring#my friends sending me palm trees and beautiful weather snaps and I'm sending back blizzard pics#made her gay very californian brother audibly gasp lol#it’s so pretty though I love the first few snows#I wish I wasn't scared of going into the cemetery at night like I would but l'd need a group of ppl to go with#my angel statue in there all snowy right now and I can't get to her 😠#it’s not even that far away too#need to get to mount auburn someday during snow tried that last year but barely got any#the roads are so bad though now I just drove my niece to her boyfriends up and down steep hills too#my car handles it well though compared to my old one holy shit idk how I survived winters#I'm about to be a plow driver because they genuinely suck so bad I could do better#pay meeeee
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Little Kandi Raver got stuck in my head
as a bonus: dance pose doodles
#moom makes bullshit#digital art#art#cwacom#cloudy with a chance of meatballs#flint lockwood#sam sparks#sparkswood#They're pleasant to draw#especially messing with stylisation#still cant believe almost a whole year into this fixation I can't draw Flint's hair#I still suck ass at it lol#but I'm starting to get there#weirdly enough it's easier on desktop than it is mobile
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continuing my self imposed tradition of drawing these guys for new years! Happy new years everyone!
#onwards to 2024! this year was just warmup and 2022 and 2021 and 2020 and 2#jjba#jojo#jojo's bizarre adventure#diu#diamond is unbreakable#josuke higashikata#okuyasu nijimura#koichi hirose#havent posted for a hot minute sorry.... burnout n college sucks ass#even tho i dont draw much jojo anymore it still holds such a dear place in my heart. also my ocs that I DO draw constantly are from it sooo#technically. TEHCNIALLY i am still#id like to post here again tho. maybe ill compile my oc doodles into one huge post and just dump it on yall idk#ocs are hard to share outside of ur friends tbh but maybe you guys would enjoy it :3 aurelio especially ouguh aurelio my dalring boy...#anyways ill get out of yalls hair now have a good one!
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ok look ive only mostly had a passive interest in the series and only saw some of the older versions as a teen and idk it's relative popularity in anime circles cause i never hear anyone talk about Ge Ge Ge no Kitarou BUT WAS ANYONE ELSE GOING TO TELL ME THAT THEY MADE KITAROU'S DAD
(Pictured here as a goofy ass lil butt naked eyeball man)
INTO A GODDAMN TUMBLR SEXYMAN???????????
WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE
#IT WAS A MOVIE AND APPARENTLY IT WAS REALLY FUCKING GOOD???????????????#WHO IS THIS SALARYMAN HE SEEMS TO HAVE ROMANTIC TENSION WITH????? BASED ON GOOGLE RESULTS#OH THATS HIS ADOPTED DAD. this is wild because the old ass manga i read he sorta sucked shit i think#ok about to eat my fucking foot because i constantly rant about how much i hate when they yassify Kitarou characters#ESPECIALLY neko musume i fucking HATE the new versions of her SO MUCH she NEEDS to be a gremlin WHY DOES SHE HAVE HEELS#and its so unfair nasty stinky rat dude hasnt changed AT ALL in all those years and meanwhile neko musume is UNRECOGNIZABLE#and i just genuinely really love the scrunginess of the original style and the polished shit loses all the charm which i feel is important#to a story about this misfit kid hanging out with ugly monsters and just having fun#but kind of love the tumblrized dad LMAO i#if i was a teen seeing this id have a big ass crush on him probably lmao#hes like a mix of kakashi and the guy from mushi shi#dullblogging#also lost my mind at the cover where theyre just standing there covered in blood LMAO
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am i so hard to care about?
#i need to vent and i know u guys cant stand me because i can feel it (and certainly from the anon hate) but i think im gonna have an ulcer#if i dont put this out somewhere#SH s*icide tw !!!!!#i need some advice or opinions because i feel like im losing it#i dont understand why my friends cant care about me#i know !!! i know i seem out of touch and insane because i say this so often and the question to someone reading would come natural: maybe#it is just ur perception…. maybe u suck ass as a friend too#and i do ponder about that!!!!!! i take those possibilities into consideration i do. and i genuinely dont think i suck as a friend. i always#check in. if they seem off i ask how they feel. i ask updates on their stuff. i dont think i deserve this tbh#but especially when i am struggling they just disappear#like even when i reach out and let them know im doing bad. they clearly read my measages and choose to ignore them#these are supposed to be my best friends#these days ive been so bad. and trigger warning again#i just feel so suicidal and i have been hurting myself in the desperate attempt to cope and manage these thoughts#and i dont tell them these things#i dont share the details because 1) it is too much to dump on someone and 2) they dont show any interest even on the surface level of my#problems so i just wouldnt tell them the deeper issues#i am just in so much pain. and i also feel a lot of anger because of their behavior. i feel so so hurt by it. so many years of this going on#of them just not even acknowledging my struggles while i was in the midst of them and trying still to support them and be there for e#whatever they had going on. and getting nothing in return#i hate that i feel so angry but i do. and ive been swallowing this anger and pain for so long i feel it eating my insides#even my therapist doesnt understand why i am friends with people that dont care about me#i dont know what i should do#i want to say something#actually i already talked about this to one of them one year ago exactly and i told her all these things and she just said she didnt know#why i was ignored. and then still kept being a part of it#the thing is i am so upset and my mental health is so so so bad. i am supposed to spend new years eve with them in two days but i dont know#how i can do that feeling like this#but if i speak to them about it i think it will also ruin the mood#if someone has any thoughts or advice it would be very welcome….
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Hi guys. Had a bit of a scare recently. The other day I went on the Wattpad app to work on SOTM like I often do, and literally all of my drafts were gone! 7 chapters worth of rough drafts for Moon High, a few for Snowfrost's Fate, and all the unpublished things I have going on in the background (including but not limited to a collection of short stories related to characters in my series, and a passion project I mentioned a long time ago dedicated to rewriting my first warrior cats fanfic from when I was 11). I tried logging out then back in, uninstalling and reinstalling the Wattpad app, and troubleshooting. But nothing worked...
I was gonna give up and fall into despair over it when I remembered Wattpad has a functional website (I'm primarily on mobile when I write. Like I'd day 98% of the time. And I'm used to websites being shitty nowadays when there's a correlating app-- with a few exceptions, tumblr being one of them lmao). So today I booted up my dinosaur of a pc and logged into Wattpad desktop. All my drafts are still on the main website! What a relief. But I've learned my lesson about relying on one plain old website to house all my drafts. From now on I'm tripple backing everything up. It'll be a pain in the ass, but it's worth it to protect literal years worth of work
So that's what I've been dealing with recently! That and hardcore writer's block (yes, again -_-) I gotta go back to the drawing board for the newest chapter I think, because it is not budging in development. Sorry about all the delay but new stuff will be out soon!
In the meantime should I post some character refs from Treeclan, and the fee I have so far of Oceanclan?
#viti shoosh#I feel like Im always making excuses and apologizing for not having new chapters posted#but the reality is that Im a 26 year old adult with a full time job and mental health issues#that get in the way of me being able to write and especially my flow of motivation + creativity#it really truly sucks. I'd hoped I'd be finished writing moon high by now since its been 3 gd years#and I finished moon rise within that same amount of time. but things were way different then#not to mention moon high has me juggling 2 main POVs and thus their 2 different plotlines and lives. it s more challenging#but Im not giving up! so I hope you guy don't give up on me either#thank you to everyone who's put up with my slow ass
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also as a feminist, i believe women should have an option to get rid of their babies if they don't want them. yes ideally if they don't want them they never create them but like there should for sure be an institution that takes care for children who are born into hostile environments, to people that don't want them. are you people stupid
#i'm half joking but in an equal society women SHOULD be allowed to abandon their children just like men do#and an official body should monitor who takes care of the child after and if they do it well#not all can be left to the ''care & control of the community'' lol#especially because a lot of communities suck ass and are toxic af. it's not a magical world where things work perfectly#this is what happens when u let yanks who grew up in nuclear families & saw their grandparents twice a year talk abt community#bitch i had a community and i ESCAPED it because they are lunatic anti-vaxxers#lina laments.txt
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Idk I just think that treating your child as less-than on the basis of them being your child (whom you are responsible for having) is kind of very shitty
#I had a whole long ass post written out#but#‘do as I say without any questions asked’#and ‘you have no choice in any decisions made here’#and ‘respect your elders even if they treat you like shit’#and ‘your feelings don’t matter’#are AWFUL lessons to teach to anyone#especially children#I don’t care if someone is a million years old if they treat me like shit I will walk away from them#I dont know why I’m still treated like this#I’m an adult#and it’s not like my mother treats my older brothers (who are only a few years older than me) the same way#the only difference is they don’t live with her#my younger siblings and I get screamed at and called names by our entire family#and WE get punished for walking away#it’s always ‘stand up for yourself’ until the people I’m standing up to are older than me#THEN im being disrespectful#but they aren’t#because it’s impossible to disrespect a child#there are ways to teach your children respect and responsiblity without treating them like slaves who’s only purpose is listening to you#and all of the older people who preach ‘just deal with it because life sucks’ can fuck right off#life does suck and you will have to put up with shitty situations and shitty people but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t avoid it if you can#God I can’t wait to move out of here
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i think my university fucking bit me wtf
#it started last semester or maybe even last year but they infected me with an anxiety that completely rewired my brain#i have general anxiety disorder & i’ve had the occasional ‘something bad is gonna happen’ day where im anxious the whole day for no reason#but then it changed to this like. academic anxiety that got so bad i was like. nauseous all the time throwing up i had to go to a counselor#and now i’m straight up paranoid. like idk maybe i’m not using the word right but i’m convinced every day all my worst fears are gonna—#just happen one after the other. my tumblr will be revealed to my family. my toxic ex will come back into my life—#my money for school is revoked things like that.#because adult life is just so confusing and convoluted and works against people#and my anxiety just goes through this loop of ‘everyone dislikes you/hates you/thinks you’re annoying’ so -> ‘you’re gonna get in trouble’#so -> ‘your life will be irreparably damaged and/or you will die’#the ‘you’re gonna get in trouble’ bit especially gets me because it’s like bitch how!! i follow laws!! i cheat a bit less than the average—#student! any time someone has a concern with like my work performance or something they politely tell me#why do i have the anxiety of a fucking hunted animal over these things!!#i wanna be numb actually i miss that time. it still sucks but at least i don’t make myself sick#things would be so much easier if i was a house spouse who cooked & cleaned (with no kids) & didn’t have a job or go to school#ofc managing a house has its own challenges and i don’t wanna undermine that but ykwim#i want this fuckin eye of sauron off my ass already 🧍#and don’t even get me started on the ‘you have to do this little task in this specific way or else everyone you love will die’ thoughts#that’s a whole other mess#tw vent#rose.txt
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this election feels so hollow even though it’s likely ostensibly gonna be a good outcome. labour really just sucks fucking ass rn huh
#if the tories lose bad enough to make lib dems the opposition though… a guy can hope#I think it’s the fact that this is the first general election I can vote in that’s making me lose my mind a little here#I have done basically nothing but read today. I DO know a whole bunch more abt voting systems and the nightmare the tories have been now tho#I’m just kinda like. okay so what happens next? bc labour WILL do some decent shit but they also. fucking suck.#planning to look into the local green party once I’m back at uni bc I could actually do stuff there#I think I’m just dealing with a little bit of whiplash going from doing a biology degree where Everything is about climate change#like unambiguously it gets brought up in every topic (I DO focus on ecology and agricultural stuff and not like genetics but still)#clear consensus from literally everyone you talk to that shit has to happen right the fuck now.#it’s not even like I’m unaware of the state of policy rn I KNOW it’s a nightmare to do anything but we at least TALK about it#and then this election where it’s barely a footnote. biggest thing is the sewage dumping everyone’s talking about and yeah fucking finally#but is that all you’ve got?? the labour manifesto is bleak. it has a section and the stuff they’re proposing isn’t bad but it’s so little#and yeah no they’ve changed the official line on the manifesto to ‘make Britain a clean energy superpower’#I SWEAR it was different a few days ago#maybe I’m being pessimistic bc their plans for clean energy if they actually do them could be huge especially if they manage it by 2030.#it’s just that I know what the targets are and they’re already pulling back on shit like EVs bc of the shift right and I am So Tired#two party politics is a curse. as much as reform is an actual nightmare them getting a decent vote share might actually be the thing that#gets people talking abt proportional representation again bc they are nothing if not good at being loud#did you know we had a fucking referendum in 2011 bc what the fuck. and it went SO BADLY even though people generally supported it#god idk I think I’m once again being naively optimistic about people and election coverage has been very good at knocking me down a bit#people generally are good. I have to believe this. but man the british public is making that really fucking hard#genuinely I think a good chunk of that is down to first past the post driving politics to be divisive and aggressive#like is it the only problem? fuck no. but it’s definitely poisoning the way this shit goes bc when all the parties do is jab at each other#what are we actually doing here#idk I’m gonna stop now but this is taking up a ridiculous amount of bandwidth rn I can’t wait for it to be over#already dreading what the next election could look like in 4 years if starmer continues to suck ass bc I don’t trust him to not like at all#luke.txt#I said i was done but I just looked at the lib dem manifesto and oh my god it’s actually pretty good on this? holy fucking shit
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like theres a lot of you nnow
#i dont really check my follower count often since i dont visit the actual 'activity' page much#and i dont think theres any other spot to view the total count? so it doesnt catch my eye often#i dont think i like to obsess over numbers. especially online#but ive more or less starting drawing again since last year january#and posting it too#sdjfsn thanks to the encouragement of both new and old friends mksfds#and the support and help ive gotten through it all has been insane#and im really happy i could manage to make a habit of it (drawing and posting). i genuinely love drawing. regardless of how good i am at it#ive always sucked ass at sharing my stuff with others though#mainly due to anxiety#even now whenever i post something i always close tumblr immediately cuz i dont wanna see other people interact with it mkss#and like. the amount of support and kind words ive seen is genuinely overwhelming#and i dont really know what to say other than like. thank you all for helping me. and being kind#its like. more clear than ever that i like sharing things with others. regardless of its reception#if one person is happy with the result (and that person can be me) then i dont mind the outcome. ive never had anything to worry about#so like. i hope i can repay your kindness through whatever i choose to create. because i dont think i wanna stop again#diary
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