#this would be so awful. can you imagine family dinner with these freaks.

[catboygirling]

I swear I saw a tumblr post once saying that Desirée DeLite and Sebastian Debeste were siblings, but now that I'm actually trying to find it I think I confused it with a post that said that about Desirée and Matt Engarde somehow and I just made up the Sebastian part myself? anyway guys I just thought of the worst and most toxic family ever-

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for "using" a cucumber and putting it back in the fridge?

(🥒👌 to find later)

Please, I know it sounds nuts but hear me out. I feel awful and I need to know just how bad this is. Also, I intentionally left as much as possible vague as I am a minor and I do not want this to get removed for being too explicit. But the story will not make sense if I don't include certain things, please understand.

So I (16M) grew up in and currently still live in the bible belt, with extremely conservative evangelical parents. As a taste of what it's like, we have church 3 times a week, and church camp every summer. We are only allowed to access Netflix through a stupid content filter app and we can only use a restricted smart phone that is regularly checked at random by our parents. We get an hour and a half of computer usage every other day, and the internet on the computer is heavily filtered also. The only reason I have access to Tumblr and am able to post this now is because my best friend's older brother gave me his old android for my birthday a few years ago. His family is much more open minded, and I'm very close with them. I also think they have always felt a little bad for me with my family being the way they are.

I'm also gay. Obviously, my family does not know, and I intend to keep it that way. I won't go too deep into it, but it will suffice to say I struggled a lot when I was younger over this. The good thing is that in the last few years, I've been able to accept myself more and come to terms with what my own feelings about religion and faith really are. I came out to my best friend and his brother a little over a year ago, and they've been very supportive. I have yet to tell any of my other friends.

Recently, I've been trying out alcohol since my friends found a hookup. Something I have discovered is that I tend to get lewd feelings when I drink, which has nearly caused a few embarrassing moments around friends. Coincidentally, I have also been experimenting with... certain things. Being a minor, I obviously can't enter any of the adult stores around me, nor would I feel comfortable asking any of my friends to drive me there if I could. I also can't order anything online because my bank account is connected to my parents, and I don't have a shipping address I'm comfortable using for those items either. So instead, I use household objects that belong to me and can be sanitized easily. You might see where this is going.

Yesterday evening, I came home from best friend's house with a full bottle of wine in my backpack. We and a few other friends had already been sipping on a few beers that afternoon, and I still felt a little buzzed. After my family went to sleep, despite already having a little alcohol in my system, I proceeded to get wasted on this bottle of wine in my room. I don't have the clearest memory of all of this, but at some point, I got hungry and lewd-feeling. Went into the kitchen and, through some kind of thought process I can only imagine now, came back into my room with a cucumber. From the title of the post, you can hazard a guess as to what happened to this cucumber. Once I was done, I drukedly and quickly washed it in the bathroom sink and threw it back into the fridge. I went to sleep.

I started freaking out as soon as I woke up this morning. There were four cucumbers in the fridge, I was pretty positive at least two were going to be used for dinner tonight, and I had no idea which cucumber I did the deed with. To make matters worse, my mom was inviting the pastor of our church and his family over for dinner. I have practically no money currently, no license or vehicle, and no friends with vehicles free to pick up new cucumbers for me (and no reasonable explanation as to why I needed them to spot me for four cucumbers specifically). I also have no believable reason to give for why we shouldn't have cucumbers added in the salad mix. My mom knows I love them, and they haven't gone bad. Can't say I ate them because who the hell eats four raw cucumbers? And she'll interrogate both my brother and I until she gets a satisfying answer if I just throw them out. I didn't know what the hell to do about this and I was close to having a panic attack, so... I took a nap.

Evening came. Guests came over, dinner happened. We had porkchops with macaroni and side salads. Cucumbers were in the salad, and I along with pastor's family and my own, ate it like nothing was wrong. My parents, the pastor and his wife had an engaging conversation about politics, religion, and some mild church gossip after dinner. My little brother continued to read his book, and I had a very awkward and one-sided conversation about Young Sheldon with the pastor's daughter. Then they left. And I went to my room to mentally implode.

To say I'm horrified is a major understatement. I don't think anyone is going to get sick because I scrubbed all of the cucumbers with soap multiple times and cleaned the vegetable drawer with bleach when I woke up this morning. I guess I also don't know that the violated cucumber was one of the ones that was used for dinner tonight, but then it's only a matter of days until we have salad again, or if mom cuts one up for water. I've rattled my brain for any way I could get some new cucumbers without telling anyone the details of the event, but I have nothing. Don't even have the money, anyway. Gave up the last bit of cash I had for the damn wine yesterday, and I have $0.43 in total on my debit card.

Admittedly, there is a very small part of me that doesn't even really care if they have eaten or end up eating the damn thing. I can't stand my family. My parents are invasive, controlling and neurotic, and don't give a shit about how I'm doing in so far as it pertains to god and the church. I'm a little more sympathetic to my brother as he's been stuck in this hell with me, but at 13 he's already begun to regurgitate way more religious dogma than I ever did at his age. And I know for a fact that they would want nothing to do with me if they found out I was gay. They'd probably kick me out on the street and spit on me if I had to guess. But even still, this is only a small part of how I feel. What I did was still so gross, and no amount of animosity I have for them can change how mortifed I am. I do have at least a semblance of a conscience.

So...AITA for all of this? WIBTA if I did nothing about the other two cucumbers? Please help.

[toxicroyjamie]

I'd love to hear more of your thoughts about Roy's family, if you have any.

Honestly, I imagine Roy's parents were okay. Not good but not awful. Sort of bare minimum. I think their household was stable (no abuse or explosive fighting or anything like that) and his parents provided for their children materially, but they were emotionally distant and withheld affection from their children and from each other. They probably should've gotten divorced some time ago, because they clearly don't actually love each other, but it's not like they're getting in screaming matches or anything, so you feel bad saying it. They were never the sort of parents who would cuddle you when you were upset and ask you what was bothering you (which is why Jamie and Georgie freaked Roy out so much), you'd just bottle it up and pretend you were fine until you started to trick yourself into feeling better. Yk

I know most people take his granddad being so heavily involved in his upbringing as a sign that his parents were all over the place and didn't take care of him, but I won't lie, I don't love that assumption. Intergenerational households and grandparents doing childcare are very very common worldwide, especially among families who don't have a ton of money, and we know the Kents were working class, so I always figured Roy's granddad was his daytime caregiver when he was little because his parents had to work and granddad was retired + would take care of him for free. I think his granddad was a lot more emotionally open and affectionate with him than his parents, though, and that's part of why Roy remembers him so so so fondly :(

As an adult, I think Roy has a somewhat functional relationship with his parents, but they're not close and don't see eye to eye on like. Anything. They're conservative and passive-aggressive (because the golden rule of the Kent household is to never address anything! you always bottle it up!) and Roy and Rachel (which is his sister's name. do NOT @ me) can't be in a room with them for more than like 2 hours without going insane.

They're constantly making backhanded comments about Rachel being a single mom, and then they piss and moan about how they never get to see Phoebe, like they have no clue why that would be. They don't approve of Keeley because she's a titty model, but then Roy starts bringing Jamie around and all they can talk about is how much they loved Keeley. They're "heartbroken" that Phoebe doesn't have any cousins and want to know when Roy is going to get married, but not to Jamie, because they think he's just looking for a "sugar daddy." Exhausting

Roy talks to them on the phone once every couple of months and sees them only on holidays. Holiday dinners are always followed by a 4 hour debrief with Rachel and like 3 bottles of wine

[codename-adler]

tell me more abt your aftg ocs. any of them. please

IT WILL BE MY PLEASURE (official unofficial list here)

The one currently rotating in my head is:

Wade Vesper (36) FBI Agent

Born 3-4 years ago, in the very beginnings of Steady Now/The Trojan Court, he was created because I needed a legal guardian for one beloved Adèle Moreau. And because I can never leave well enough alone, and Pedro Pascal as Joel Miller happened, I couldn't let the man be a simple cardboard cut out, now, could I? In truth, he is actually one of my favorite OCs of the whole lineup/universe. I love him so much. I enjoy his story so much. I hope you will too.

When Wade was a Junior in college (22), he met Assistant Coach James Rhemann (27), who helped train their college's Exy team, which Wade was a part of (#backliner). The two men bonded so much that when Rhemann was offered a higher paid position at USC, Wade followed him there despite being on the cusp of starting his senior year.

Sadly, a double tragedy strikes Wade. One of them being Rhemann refusing to pursue what they have with each other, refusing to acknowledge the love there, and shutting out Wade completely in critical times. Rhemann did it with Wade's best intentions at heart, of course, but it was also a cowardly move for the exit: James is in too much of a position of power over Wade for the relationship to possibly healthy, and there's the age gap, and the homophobic times, and- Wade would have fought, if he thought he was wanted. But James made it clear.

Being orphaned at 23 by a suspiciously freak accident also didn't help Wade's head and heart to stay above water. If he couldn't have James support through this unbearable tragedy, why would Wade stay a second longer? Why would he even try? What was the point of it all? Goodbye mother, goodbye father, goodbye little sister, goodbye Exy, goodbye uni. Goodbye James.

Hello FBI training camp. Armed only with his need for revenge and closure, Wade aces the program and becomes one of the youngest recruits at 24. While James ascended to official Head Coach for the Trojans at only 31, Wade cumulates the gruesome cases, all solved, thank you very much. Both men keep thoughts of the other at bay, though James does not keep up with Wade's life, tries to dedicate his whole life and heart to his team, tries to forget everything about relationships and broken hearts. Wade watches every success and failure of James from afar, no matter which state or country he's in. He can't help it. After some years, it becomes a comfortable routine, though. Like brushing your teeth and making dinner and running at 5am. It becomes bittersweet, but almost completely scarred over.

While Wade's personal case remains unsolved, he's 27 when he falls head first into the case of his life: tasked with protecting Adèle Moreau, surviving daughter of the Moreau crime family that had fallen to ruin in France years ago, Wade cannot let go of her once it is time to hand her over to Witness Protection.

Adoption it is. Never in a million years would Wade have imagined being the legal guardian of a girl with ties to the mafia, one that could be killed any moment, one that chips at his fortress of a heart and ice-cold of an exterior. One that mends his heart in ways he never thought possible. One that takes only months to heal parts of him he never even considered were broken, when years of relentless work had done barely anything. Light of his life, and whatever.

But for years, she survives, and so does he, and they're even happy together. Until. It's always 'until'.

Neil Josten, aka Nathaniel Wesninski, opens his big fat mouth and reveals awful things, opens up gates that should have stayed locked. Adèle learns about Jean Moreau, learns about USC, hides the little she knows about her past and her file, and somehow lands both her and Wade in SoCal, under the pretense of joining the excellent gymnastics program at USC.

So here Wade Vesper stands, at 36, juggling life as a father, a decorated FBI agent, and a still broken-hearted man over a love story that never was with a man he is now crossing paths with again. None of the people involved are ready for what lies at USC. Old wounds will bleed, cycles will be repeated or broken, and Wade will have to decide if it is better to speak, or to die.

[empressgeekt]

If Soft Hearts and Flooded Wombs were combined with Laptopsticker87's Just Got Up and Ran Away, how would things go considering Floyd would've been allowed food during his time in captivity and would've made it to Pop Village unscathed with Veneer by his side?

Oh, I've read that one it's a good one. (I do not own this au pls go support that author).

Humm...

Well, considering that Floyd wasn't kept starving he'd probably start showing sooner, and while Velvet wasn't paying attention, Veneer would be since he doesn't actually want to hurt Floyd. I'd imagine that Veneer would be very confused when he asked Floyd about his stomach as Mount Rageons have kids differently. However, even Veneer isn't willing to hurt an unborn baby, so when he finds Floyd escaping, he helps, and they both leave for Bergentown to save the rest of Floyd's family.

On this trip, Veneer learns a lot about trolls...way more then he'd ever think he'd know. Velvet being the one who did the research about trolls to use a talent enhancer. The whole eating them for a happiness kick is horrifying, and his guilt grows when Floyd points out that it wasn't all that different from using him for his talent, and while getting eaten was awful, it was only one day a year, was over quickly and pregnant trolls were usually left alone. ("Wait a minute you want to go back to a place where they eat you to give birth?" "It's my only option, and with your help once it's over I'll be able to get Branch and Grandma out and we'll find somewhere safe to live.") Which leads back to the whole having a baby as a male thing, Veneer asks if Floyd is trans or something, which then leads to a very long discussion about the many ways a Troll can have a baby. A talk that Floyd gently gives while Veneer's face is slow become more like his hair color throughout.

When they arrive at bergentown, and hear the music. Floyd is panicking as he thinks that he's mental calendar was all messed up and today was Trollistice. Veneer's scared too, but he listens to Floyd when he says they need to get in there now. Floyd is not relieved when he hears it's a royal wedding. There was always a troll flavored cake at a royal wedding or birth of an heir. Floyd remains tucked in Veneer's hoodie pocket, as they watch the wedding unfold. Something is clearly off, Floyd would spy a bright pink troll in the front row, a crown on her head and sneaks through the crowd to her. She's the one in charge, even if Floyd doesn't recognize her (he left before Poppy hatched).

Branch and Poppy would be watching the ceremony with happy hearts, thought when an expectant troll approaches them from behind mid ceremony. Poppy's first thought is a medical emergency is about to happen, while Branch is just "not f*cking now". Branch doesn't acknowledge that Floyd is his brother until, Poppy says his name, which Floyd hones in on immediately, leading to a very awkward reunion. When Keith comes slamming into Branch's legs, it doesn't get more peaceful. After all with the kid there, Branch can't help up point out how he couldn't abandon his little brother, unlike some people. Poppy subtly tells Branch now is not the time.

Veneer is understandably very intimidated when Branch, Keith and Poppy are brought over. Poppy is the queen, Branch is Floyd's young brother and clearly doesn't trust strangers, and Keith is so Freaking cute! Who knew the babies were so little!

The reception dinner wasn't any better, Branch would have to take off his mask, revealing his facial scar which would horrify Floyd, and Keith would mention all of the gore details of the injury the Chef gave Branch. Which would lead into discussion about Branch's work, and Branch then turns tables asking Floyd what happened to him. Probing deeply, into where's his partner if he's having a baby, how'd me meet Veneer, and where he was for over twenty years? Once the abduction is mentioned, Branch goes full interrogation mode wanting to know everything and if he needs to prepare troll kingdom for an invasion. In the end Poppy has to talk him down, cause their at a wedding.

By the end of the plot. Veneer would likely have moved to BergenTown since the forest beyond the village borders is dangerous. Branch and Veneer aren't besties but their civil for Floyd's sake and they do slowly get better. Branch and Floyd big brothering the mount rageon better than Velvet. Since he's in better health then in my own Au, Floyd moves into his own pod, and successfully has his baby with little to no complications. However his daughter is born mute, and will never be able to sing on her own.

[myloveforhergoeson]

tw: discussion of scars + childhood injury

“woah… what’s this?”

gingerly, roxy caught james’ left wrist between her calloused fingers, turning his forearm to face her direction as they cuddled on one of the many lounge chairs by the pool. with his well maintained tan from hours spent in the los angeles sun, the thin white line was almost impossible to spot; she’d certainly never noticed it before today.

thumb swiping over the scarred area, she felt james slightly flinch at her touch. “it’s nothing… old injury.”

removing the right arm slung around her waist, he shifted to the left a bit, dark sunglasses obscuring the look on his face. he covered the mark with his hand for a moment, palm over the area like a bandaid, before taking a breath and gathering his girlfriend in his arms once more.

with her ear to his chest, she could hear his heart race. though that might be due to their proximity, the feeling of his palms growing clammy on her bare skin told her otherwise.

she silently praised her choice of a red crop top for the day.

“i’ve got one on the back of my leg,” she said in response to the chill, moving her right foot into the air and wiggling it a bit to ease the tension she could sense radiating off of him in waves. “one of dani’s dogs didn’t like me very much. i got too close to her one day and she really decided to let me know… god, that shit hurt like hell.”

one of his brows raised, signifying she’d caught his attention. “you had to know that she didn’t like you. dogs are super vocal about that type of thing aren’t they? like, missy really hates logan. we think she can sense he’s more of a cat person.”

“i know you’re not blaming me for being viciously bit by a crazy animal right now. everybody else loves me! why should i assume bear felt any different?”

air shot out of his nostrils in a silent chuckle, tickling the top of her head, almost going unheard against the chatter of other hotel patrons on the deck around them. “the dog was named bear?! baby, you were totally asking for it!”

visions of the black labradoodle ran through her mind, much like how bear loved to run through dani’s family’s large, open property. “she was a total sweetheart when mag and dani were around her… maybe she doesn’t like gorgeous, talented women or something.”

james’ nose exhale turned into full on laughter, roxy practically bouncing off his chest as his body shook at her words.

from the table beside their lounger, roxy reached out to take a drink of the lemonade she’d picked up from the cafe, offering the cup out to her boyfriend as well.

after a long, slow sip, james’ free hand set it down before sinking into her long hair. instinctively, her arm draped around his waist. “i forgot to put the blade guards on my skates after practice one night. coach worked us so hard that day i was just happy to get off the ice and get home; too distracted by what my mom might be making for dinner to think straight. walked out of the arena with my bag in one hand and my stick and skates in the other, hit a patch of black ice before i reached her car, and ended up cutting myself up pretty darn good.”

just the thought of the sharp, stainless steel of an ice skate anywhere near her skin caused a shiver to crawl down the girl’s spine. “that must have been awful…”

“well a trip to the er, sixteen stitches, and a bunch of ibuprofen later i was feeling just fine. i think my ego was more bruised than anything. my mom was super freaked though.”

“well yeah,” roxy nodded, finger rising to trace the lines of the soft black tank top james wore, “any mom would be worried about such a substantial injury. i’ve never had stitches but i imagine sixteen means it was very big and very deep.”

closing his eyes, james took another breath. “deep? yes. big? eh. nothing like the time carlos got a metal plate put in his head.”

“jesus christ. i’m going to pass out just thinking of it…” her hand curled into a fist, taking the smooth fabric with it.

a few kids from their class were starting up a game of volleyball in the pool in front of them, sounds of shouting and splashing water distracting the writer from their conversation momentarily.

“but you’re right,” james continued. “my mom was worried - just not about me. more about the mark it would leave than anything… she even called an emergency meeting for her product development team to start work on a scar cream. i still use it to this day.”

roxy chose not to comment on the success of the cream if she was still able to see the mark that remained on her boyfriend’s skin, though her heart panged at his words. clearly, brooke’s concern had reached him, just for the wrong reasons. she saw it in the way he instinctively covered the area when she’d mentioned it, in the solemn way he discussed the product he still used, months, maybe years, after his accident.

without thinking, her fingers caught his wrist again from where they tangled in her locks and pulled his forearm to the sun once more. the scar stood out more prominently to her now, and now she couldn’t even remember what he looked like without it. it was part of what made james james. “she shouldn’t have made you feel that way... it was an accident; you were seriously hurt. who cares what it would look like in the future? what should have mattered was your safety in that moment and beyond.”

he didn’t respond to her, gaze somewhere off in the distance behind the tint of his shades. this time, when roxy swiped her thumb over the area, he didn’t jump.

“we all show concern in our own way i suppose,” he whispered into her hair, placing a kiss on her crown before resting his chin there.

as they cuddled by the pool, james hugged roxy just a little bit tighter.

[wonderlandleighleigh]

If you’re taking prompts, maybe something with Christopher and midge and Lenny

"This uh...this food is really amazing," Christopher says as they all sit around Midge and Lenny's dining room table. "It's really great."

Midge gives him a bland smile, and Lenny can't blame her.

this schmuck.

"Dad's not used to a home-cooked meal," Rory chimes in, obviously trying to make this dinner smoother. It's her father's first real time in Stars Hollow, and it's obviously she desperately wants it to go well. "He's a takeout fiend like we are."

"You eat too much takeout, Sweetie," Midge chides gently, scooping some more food onto the girl's plate.

Lenny remembers the last time Christopher Hayden was here. He hadn't stayed long; left his preschool-aged daughter sitting on a park bench alone because he was too freaked out to stay.

Schmuck.

It's unlikely Rory remembers, and even if she does, she's too young to be angry about that kind of thing. She'll be pissed about it when she's older, Lenny has no doubt.

"So Lorelai says you live in California, Christopher," Midge pipes up again. She's fussing over Rory because she's deeply aware that Christopher won't stick around, and now she's brushing the girl's hair back behind her ear.

"Yeah. I uh...I have a business out there," he tells them. "It's going pretty well."

"That's nice to hear," Midge grins.

Lenny glances at Lorelai, who looks...uncomfortable.

"You got Friday night dinner with the parents tomorrow, right?" Lenny asks gently.

"Yeah. Yeah. Uh...it'll be a big one," Lorelai grins tightly. "My mother is over the moon that Chris is here, so she's uh...inviting his parents, and it'll be the whole family back together again."

Lenny nods slowly. "Well. You need anything after, you just knock, okay, kid?"

"Why would she need anything?" Christopher asks.

"I always make babka on Fridays," Midge responds quickly. "I always make way too much."

"What's babka?" Christopher asks.

Rory lights up. "It's the best! It's this yeasted bread, and Midge puts chocolate or cinnamon in it? It's amazing."

"Midge is a great cook," Lorelai agrees. "And thanks. I might stop by."

Christopher looks a little wary, but keeps eating.

"You're helping Luke with the painting after, though, right?" Midge asks Lorelai.

"Yes! The painting!" Lorelai smiles, turning to Christopher to explain. "Luke? He owns the diner. I promised I'd help him paint. It needs it desperately."

"No kidding, he hasn't painted since he opened," Midge chuckles.

"Luke, huh?" Christopher asks.

"He's a friend," Lorelai tells him. "And Midge and Lenny have known him forever. Since he was a kid. Which is hard to imagine."

"Butch Danes," Midge teases with a snicker.

Lorelai giggles. "Butch. I forgot that was his nickname."

"It fit back in the eighties, not so much now," Lenny chuckles.

Rory giggles, too, but Christopher looks like the joke is lost on him, and it makes Lenny happy.

*****

It's much later the next night when there's a knock on Midge and Lenny's door.

When he opens it up, Lorelai is standing there, her nice clothes covered in paint. "Hi. Babka?"

Lenny grins and lets her in. "So you got home in time to help Luke..."

"I did. It took making Chris really mad by not having sex with him on the balcony of my old room of my parents' house, but - I made it."

"You probably dodged a bullet," Lenny tells her.

"Is that Lorelai?!" Midge calls from the kitchen. "The babka is just done cooling, and it deserves an academy award!"

"It smells like heaven in here," Lorelai says as she steps in. "Tell me I can take some home for Rory."

"Of course," Midge promises, kissing her cheek. "How awful was dinner?"

"Awful," Lorelai confirms. "Really...truly awful. I think I was called a slut like five different times, and accused of ruining everyone's life about six."

Lenny rolls his eyes and pours her some coffee. "We could have paid for Rory's school, you know. You didn't have to go to Richard and Emily."

"You've done too much already," Lorelai points out. "And...if I'm being truly honest? God, if I can just find a way to fix things with them...for Rory to have some kind of positive relationship with them...that's a good thing, right?"

Midge strokes her hair gently. "Whatever happens, we're here for you, honey. Just remember that."

"With babka?"

Midge chuckles. "With babka."

[carladuquette]

My best friend is super brave. She has been struggling with severe mental health issues the entire time I've known her. And this past Sunday, she opened up about all of it in a social media post – all of it out there for everyone, her family, her friends from all stages of her life, to see. Can you imagine?? She said it had been on her mind so much that she needed to get it out and that after sharing her story, she felt tearful but relieved. I am still in awe of her, and the idea of opening up, sharing something of yourself that you normally keep hidden, inspired me.

It also freaks me out and I'm not as brave as my best friend, so I'm not sharing my story with everyone in my life. It's easier to do it here, where most people don't know my full name or my face or where I work or who my mom is. At the same time, it's not the same as screaming into a void, because I do feel like I have some sort of connection with some of the lovely people I've met here. A perfect middle ground, if you will.

If you know anything about me, you know I'm wordy and can't be short and to the point to save my life, so it's no surprise that this is going to be on the long side, too. But hey! As my best friend put it, I'm giving myself the "gift of openness and understanding."

I have an eating disorder. (And I'm going to be somewhat explicit about it, so if this is triggering for you, please take care and put yourself first.) I have never used these words before and even right now, part of me thinks that's bullshit. That I'm being overdramatic, trying to get attention. Because I'm fine! I'm not anorexic, I'm not bulimic, I'm just not the healthiest eater and don't really like the way my body looks, like almost all women everywhere ever.

But the fact is that I threw up my dinner tonight because I felt like I shouldn't have eaten it, or all of it, in the first place. This is what I do. I don't binge to then purge, but I throw up food when I feel disgusted with what I ate. I'm mad at myself that I don't have the self-control to just eat less, so instead I throw up what I regret. That can be the occasional junk food haul, the treat I was excited about when I picked it up and took it home (an excitement that turns sour quickly), or a nice dinner at a restaurant with friends. I've been hunched over the toilet in my favorite Mexican restaurant more than once, waiting for the woman in the other stall to leave so I could throw up without anyone overhearing.

The part of me that doesn't think I have a problem points out here that I don't do this all the time. I go for months at a time without throwing up at all. Years sometimes! (Other times, when it’s bad, I do it several times a week.) I first started doing this when I was 16. Before tonight, I haven't thrown up in a few weeks, and before that, probably two months. So, clearly not a problem!

Except that it's exhausting. I want to be able to have mediocre fries and chicken filet bites, or feel full and stuffed and happy without panicking about how all this food I just ate is going to make me gain weight. And on that – I would love to return to a place where I can tell what my body actually looks like. Because I have no idea anymore. I don't know what's normal anymore.

I look in the mirror from the side and will be destroyed because what I see is disgusting, even though I'm pretty sure (I hope?) that's not objectively true. Then I see a current photo of myself where I think I look good, or I catch a glimpse of myself and think "Hey, that's not too bad!" Then that same day I see my reflection in a window at the office and am horrified again. And I know, rationally, that it is not possible for my body to look completely different a few hours apart. That it's just in my head. But there's nothing I can do about it.

This distorted body image, unlike the throwing up, is relatively recent, something that crept up on me during the pandemic, and I'd love to go back to a time where I was happy with the way I looked. Which, by the way, wasn't that much different from now, I think. But I'm not sure.

I've gone on a couple of rants here about how mad I am about what society has done to women. How angry it makes me to see women feel like they have to starve themselves for love or approval or success because thinness is valued above all else. And I've talked about how that behavior is nothing to emulate. I hope all of what I've shared in this post today doesn't make me a hypocrite. I still stand by what I said earlier. The thoughts that are put into our heads by everything we see around us, the way it's drilled into girls and women, sometimes subtly and sometimes less so, that what matters most is our looks, is infuriating. It's hard not to let that get to you, and I guess I did, too. Even though the part of me that thinks I'm just being overdramatic says that my problem isn't society, it's just the fact that I am lazy and can't watch what I eat. But you know what? Fuck that girl. At least right in this moment, I can say that and believe it.

I feel better just having gotten all of this out for the first time. My best friend, the brave one, is the only person who knows about my eating disorder, and she encouraged me to do this. So I'm sharing this in her honor – cheers, girl. It's ok to be open. It's also fucking terrifying. But maybe it can help. And if you have something you feel you need to get out, if you feel inspired by my best friend too- my inbox is always open, for a private chat, an anonymous ask, whatever.

Aaaaand post 💌

[sunrisefairy]

Sketches

Pairing: George Weasley x reader

Word count: 2.1k

Summary: Y/N likes drawing people. More specifically, she likes drawing George Weasley. Which is fine, until she loses her notebook and George is the one who finds it. 

A/N: Okay so because of lockdown and me having legit nothing to do i spent the last 2 days writing this fic for @teawiththeweasleys​ writing challenge and i couldnt wait to share it with you. im lowkey very proud of it so i hope you all like it 

Taglist: @hufflepuff5972 @inglourious-imagines message me if you would like to be added!

Ever since Y/N was a little girl she was always drawing whether it was scribbles of her family, animals, magical creatures or plants, you could always find the girl with a pencil and paper somewhere nearby. For as long as she could remember her home was covered in her drawings, Y/N’s mum and dad would frame and hang up all of their daughters’ drawings all over the walls. They were so proud of Y/N’s creativity and encouraged her to keep creating her art. It had become a tradition that every year for her birthday Y/N would receive a new notebook and pencils form her parents and it was always her most cherished gift.

Over the last few years Y/N has become very intrigued with drawing faces, she loved how she could capture a person’s emotion with just some charcoal and parchment. More recently when Y/N was sketching she’d try to focus on the subtle and small features that make humans unique and beautiful, may it be the way their eyebrows arched in curiosity or the dimples and freckles etched into their skin or small wrinkles that danced near their eyes when they smiled. Y/N loved it all.

Because Y/N was so captivated with how facial features made everyone unique she found herself draw a particular ginger a lot more than anyone else. George Weasley. Everybody at Hogwarts knew George Weasley was the twin to the confident and loud Fred Weasley. And being that they are identical twins they look very similar. Y/N found it fascinating trying to pinpoint their minor physical differences and she had become quite good at it.

Her brown leather notebook, which if it wasn’t in her hand was usually found stuffed in her book bag, was full of sketches of George. It started of gradual, her drawings of the sweet boy. Y/N was usually found sitting on a bench in the courtyard if the weather was nice, drawing anyone she saw nearby and normally it was someone new each time. But when her eyes landed on the loud group of Gryffindor boys, she felt a pull to the tall boy with fiery hair who was standing next to his twin, both taking turns to tell a story which had the rest of the group engrossed. Y/N wanted to challenge herself, it was simple, she wanted to capture the features that made an identical twin unique.

Y/N spent the last few weeks ‘studying’ George in a very non-threatening and not at all creepy way. The pair had a few classes together being in the same year at school but the two hadn’t really spoken much to each other. So, Y/N admired from afar, normally from across the great hall or in class. She quickly learnt that George’s face was longer than his brothers, his eyes were more slanted, and his lips had a curve in them that was more prominent when he smiled, something he does a lot, Y/N observed.

~~~

The weather was particularly nice on this Saturday afternoon, so naturally Y/N found herself on a bench in the courtyard with her pencil tin open and a range of charcoals scattered around her as she doodled in her notebook (the one which wasn’t unofficially dedicated to George).

“Hello there little Gryffindors-” Y/N heard a voice call from nearby, the voice belonging to Fred Weasley. George was standing next to his twin and the duo were chatting to some unsuspecting first years.

“-anyone fancy a nougat? They are delicious” George finished; the twins shared a mischievous glance at each other.

Y/N quickly grabbed her other notebook and some charcoal and began sketching the boy’s face focusing on the way his eyes sparkled when he laughed at the poor Gryffindor who accepted the free candy which turned out to be a nosebleed nougat. Y/N was absorbed in her sketching she didn’t notice her best friend sit next to her, peering over her shoulder.

“Ah, drawing your lover boy again I see” Alicia chuckled as Y/N slammed the book shut.

“He’s not my lover boy, I’ve already told you; I draw him to-”

“-capture the features that make an identical twin unique. Sure, so if I flick through your other notebooks, I’ll find one dedicated to Fred too then?”

Y/N rolled her eyes, “shut up.”

“Come on creeper, we told the others we’d hang out today.” Alicia pulled on Y/N’s hand as she quickly threw her notebooks and pencil tin in her book bag.

“Merlin, hang on! You’re gonna rip my arm out of its socket!” Y/N giggles hoisting her bag strap higher up her shoulder.

The two girls walked off, arms linked and laughing, neither one noticed the lone notebook that was left on the bench.

~~~

George, Fred and Lee were heading towards the great hall after their amusing interaction with a group of first years when the younger twin noticed a brown book perched on a bench. He detoured that way to pick it up, flicking through the pages in hopes he will find who it belongs to so he can return it.

George furrowed his brows as he dove deeper into the book. He expected it to be filled with notes and writing but he was not expecting to see drawings of people; of him and Fred. But as he looked closer, he quickly realised that they weren’t sketches of him and Fred, just himself.

“Oi! What are you doing? We’re gonna be late for dinner” Fred’s voice pulled him back. George shoved the notebook in his pants pocket and hurried after his twin very confused as to why the notebook was filled with drawings of him.

Later that night George found himself sitting on his bed in his dorm room flipping through the notebook. These drawings were incredible, whoever it belonged to had some serious talent but he couldn’t get over why someone had drawn him, let alone multiple drawings. Each sketch was different to the last though, some were of his whole face others just of his eyes or mouth. George was in awe of the skill this person had; they had managed to capture his face perfectly.

Some might view finding a notebook filled of drawings of themselves a little creepy, however George Weasley found it flattering. You see, for his whole life, George has seen himself as the other half of Fred. Most people in their lives couldn’t tell the pair apart and opted to talk to them and refer to them almost as if they were one person as FredandGeorge and not Fred and George. This notebook was proof that someone out there noticed George as a singular person, an individual, which made George’s heart flutter.

~~~

“Oh godric” Y/N mumbles pouring out the contents of her book bag on the table.

“Hey, Y/N relax. I’m sure it will turn up eventually.” Alicia says in attempt to calm her friend down.

Y/N ran her hands through her hair, very stressed. She had been searching for her notebook all morning with no luck worried that the wrong person had found it and would deem her a creepy stalker.

“How can I relax when my notebook-the notebook which is filled with drawings of George Weasley-has gone missing. Oh merlin, whoever has it will most likely recognise the drawings of George and give it to him and he’ll eventually find out that it belongs to me and think I’m a freak” Y/N’s arms are frantically waving around to empathise her point as she paces up and down the room.

Alicia stops in front of her friend, placing her hands on her shoulders, squeezing reassuringly “Y/N breath. You’ve told me a million times that those drawings are just about capturing someone’s facial features, right? It’s not like you have a crush on the guy so it doesn’t matter if anyone thinks that, because it’s not true.”

Y/N’s sketches of George Weasley had started just as Alicia said but it quickly turned into Y/N possessing a small, okay maybe huge crush on the red head and her trying to find any excuse to stare at him and draw. Y/N’s heart hammered in her chest at the thought of George being the one to find her notebook. There was no way George wouldn’t be freaked out and think Y/N had some weird obsession with him.

“Okay so when was the last time you remember having your book?” Alicia questions.

Y/N racks her brain trying to remember, “yesterday afternoon. In the courtyard on that bench, I was drawing him when you came over. I’m sure I put it in my bag but I haven’t seen it since.”

Alicia nodded, the two deciding that was the best place to start.

Y/N practically sprints to the courtyard, luckily there wasn’t many students here, giving it was a Sunday morning and everyone was probably still sleeping. The two girls look around trying to spot the leather book. Y/N sighs in defeat, collapsing onto the bench and groaing into her hands.

“Bloody hell, I can’t believe I lost it. I’m so stupid”

“Err, Y/N” Alicia nudged her friend’s shoulder.

“Geez, thanks Alicia, you’re meant to say ‘No Y/N you’re not stupid’”

Alicia widened her eyes at Y/N before glancing behind her, “look”.

Y/N follows her gaze and freezes. George Weasley was walking towards them, that in itself was strange but it wasn’t until Y/N looked down at George’s hand and noticed the missing notebook.

“Oh no.”

George had figured whoever misplaced the notebook would probably come back to the last place they had it to search for it. He was hoping for that at least. Not only did he want to return the book to its rightful owner, he also wanted to thank them for seeing him, for noticing him.

As George rounded the corner his eyes scanned the courtyard and were met with Alicia Spinnit and Y/N L/N sitting on the same bench he’d found the notebook on, bingo. Judging by Y/N’s wide eyes that were glued to the notebook in his hand and how Alicia gave her a pat on the shoulder before disappearing, George figured the drawings were the work of Y/N. George’s heart sped up with this information. The two of them weren’t close but were friendly having shared some classes together. George had caught himself on more than one occasion glancing at Y/N during lessons and mealtimes, wondering what it would be like to get to know her. Guess now he has a chance.

His feet stopped a few paces in front of the bench as Y/N gawked up at him.

George cleared his throat, “uh I believe this belongs to you?”

Y/N basically snatches the notebook from his fingers, feeling insanely embarrassed and when Y/N is embarrassed, she rambles. “Oh merlin, I’m so sorry! I’m guessing you looked through it, of course you did. I would have too if I stumbled across a stranger’s book. I’m also guessing you realised all the drawings were of you. Look I’m not some stalker, I swear. Like I’m not some girl that has a massive crush on you and decided to fill a notebook with drawings of you… Well I do have a crush on you. But I promise I didn’t mean to be creepy. I just, I like drawing people and you have a nice face.” Y/N chews on her bottom lip, forcing herself to shut up.

George opens his mouth and closes it a few times as he processes the girl’s words. “Wow, um- I want you to know that I don’t think you’re creepy at all. I was actually really flattered looking through your pictures. It’s nice to know someone sees me as me and not as an extension of Fred.”

The two stare at each other for a few moments, neither one knowing what to say.

George moves to sit beside Y/N, close enough that their thighs are touching, “they are really good by the way. The drawings I mean. You’re very talented.”

Y/N blushes at his words, “thank you. I don’t normally share my art, with the exception of my parents and Alicia.”

George places a hand over his heart, “well in that case I feel very honoured.” He runs his fingers through his hair as Y/N giggles before continuing, “I know we aren’t super close and I kind of hate that it’s taken me this long to ask but would you maybe wanna hang out sometime? Like a date.”

Y/N fiddles with the notebook in her lap trying to hide her excitement “for sure, I’d love that.”

George lets out a sigh of relief, “great, well what are you up to right now? Maybe we can hang out and you can draw more pictures of my handsome face.”

Y/N rolls her eyes and playfully shoves at his side “careful, your head might explode with all that ego. But yes I’d love to hang out with you right now.”

“Cool.”

“Cool.”

[fandom-imagines-stories]

Run to You Part One

Derek Morgan x Reader

Words: 2474

Summary: Having been dating for a while, you finally feel comfortable enough to introduce your boyfriend to your daughter, Angelica. Derek takes on the role better than you could have imagined and you start to feel like a family. Then one day, Angelica disappears from a friend’s house and your ex husband starts making demands. 

Notes: Hey look it’s another one shot that got turned into a mini series. Whoops. Anyway, Derek Morgan, like Reid, holds a very special place in my heart and I hope you guys enjoy. Let me know what you think!

More Criminal Minds: HERE

-

You swirled the wine around in your glass, blowing out a long sigh before checking your watch. You’d been sitting there for about twenty minutes, deflecting glances from the waiter and reading the menu over and over again. You were about to call when you felt a pair of hands on your shoulders, the contact nearly making you jump out of your chair. You whirled around, heart pounding and breathing heavy. You sighed with relief when a familiar charming smile greeted you. 

“Jesus, Derek, you’re lucky I didn’t pepper-spray you.” You groused, feeling your body gradually calm down. He pressed a quick kiss to your lips. 

“Sorry, baby, I got caught up at work.” 

“Uhuh.” You coyly turned your head away, pretending to ignore him. He ran his hands up and down your arms, giving you goosebumps. 

“I’ll make it up to you…” He coaxed, his breath hot against the skin of your neck. Damn, he was impossible to be mad at. 

“You’d better.” You surrendered to another kiss before he sat down across from you. 

While you kept up your usual cool and collected appearance, on the inside you were sweating like a pig. Tonight was the night. Usually, on nights like tonight, you would get either dumped or ghosted. Most of the time it was both. But you had a feeling, a desperate hope, that Derek was different. 

“Earth to Y/N.” Derek laughed. You hadn’t realized that you had spaced off. He reached across the table and put his hand on yours. “Where’s your head at, sweetheart?” 

“I, uh,” You laughed nervously, “I was thinking we could go back to my place after this.” The biggest smirk spread across his face. 

“That’s what you’re getting antsy about?” He chuckled, shaking his head. The waiter came back with the check and, though he offered, you took this one. 

“You paid for the last date.” You reasoned, though you also didn’t want him to shell out for dinner if he was going to run off later. 

“Independent woman, I get it.” He teased. He knew that something was off about tonight. You kept looking at your watch, fingers tapping on the table anxiously, and now your eyes kept darting from the check to his face. 

Once the check was taken care of, you both headed back out to the parking lot. Derek took your hand and stopped suddenly, pulling you into his arms. He lifted your chin so that you were looking into his eyes. You looked pretty freaked out about something and it was worrying him. 

“Okay, sweetheart, what’s going on?” 

“What do you mean? Everything’s fine.” You couldn’t even convince yourself, let alone a behavioral profiler. You took a breath and let the tension built up in your shoulders fall. “Okay, there’s something I haven’t been telling you about me and when we go back to my place, you’re going to understand.” His eyes widened. 

“Don’t tell me you're married.” 

“No!” You exclaimed. “Well, not anymore. My ex and I split a long time ago.” 

“I’m confused. You were married?” You nodded, looking down shamefully. Derek put a hand on your cheek. “Baby, you could have told me that.” You let out a frustrated sigh. 

“That’s not the problem, Derek. That’s not the part that sends every other guy I’ve dated running for the hills.” 

“You’re really freaking me out here, Y/N. What is it?” Did you really think he was that kind of guy? You bit your lip nervously. 

“My roommate.” 

-

Your apartment should have been dark, but the living room lamp lit up the room, revealing the little bundle of blankets curled up on the sofa and the fast-asleep teen in the chair. You sighed, putting your keys in the little bowl on the table and walked over to the couch. You knelt in front of it, searching for a little nose and a pair of eyes. 

“I know you’re awake, Jellybean.” You tapped her nose lightly and earned a chorus of giggles. Her eyes popped open and her arms latched around your neck. 

“I missed you.” She pouted, making you laugh. 

“Baby, it’s only been a couple of hours. Besides, you had Amy to keep you company.” You motioned to the teen who was snoring in the seat across from you. Angelica made a face. 

“Who’s that?” She pointed over your shoulder to an awestruck looking Derek. You picked her up, blankets and all, and walked her over to him. 

“This is Derek. He’s a friend of mommy’s.” You tried to read his expression, but he was just looking at her. 

“Hi Derek, I’m Angelica.” She beamed. He smiled. 

“Hi sweetheart. That’s a really pretty necklace.” He motioned to the chain around her neck. It had a little locket on the end with a picture of the two of you inside. 

“Thanks! It was my mom’s, but she gave it to me for my birthday this year.” 

“Alright, munchkin, why don’t you go brush your teeth and get into bed?” You put her down on the floor, ignoring her pouting lips. “Go.” She scampered off to her room and you slowly looked back up at Derek. “So…”

“So.” 

“I’m going to send Amy home and then can I get you something to drink?” You asked, but you were really waiting for him to run. He nodded. 

“A drink would be great.” 

After Amy was gone and you finally got Angelica to stay in bed, Derek was patiently waiting on the couch, glass of wine in hand, awaiting the explanation that sent most guys out the door. You nervously sat down beside him and took a long drink from your own glass. 

“Your roommate?” Derek chuckled, quirking a brow. You laughed anxiously. 

“Yeah… I was afraid if I came right out and said ‘daughter’ you wouldn’t have even left the parking lot.” You curled your legs up underneath you, trying to get comfortable despite the situation. “That’s also why I didn’t tell you about her sooner. It seems every time I like a guy, he bolts as soon as he finds out I’ve got a kid.” Derek nodded in understanding. 

“How old is she?” 

“She’ll be eight in two months.” You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself. “They aren’t kidding when they say they grow up fast.” 

“Yeah, well if she’s anything like her mother, I’m sure she’s a piece of work.” Derek chuckled, teasingly poking your side. He seemed pretty laid back. He wasn’t gunning for the door or itching to leave as soon as your back was turned. His face turned serious, but he still didn’t seem angry. “You know you could have told me, right?” 

“It’s not you, Derek.” You stared at the wine in your glass, watching it swirl around like a crimson whirlpool. “I just have a hard time trusting people, especially when it comes to her. But I’m sure your profiler brain figured that out the day we met.” You cast him a knowing look. He shrugged. 

“I knew that you weren’t telling me something, but I always figured you’d tell me when you were ready to tell me.” He moved closer to you, setting his glass on the coffee table. “And now you have.” 

“I know that this isn’t exactly what you signed up for, and I’m not asking for you to step in and become her dad or anything like that, but I really want to keep seeing you and-” You took a breath. “Sorry, I’m rambling, aren’t I?” 

“Just a little, but it’s okay.” He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and you both sank further into the couch. “She seems like a good kid.”

“Oh, she is.” You beamed. “She’s smart and way more creative than I ever was at her age. And after everything that’s happened…” You stopped. You didn’t want to get into that now. One big reveal is enough for one night. “She’s a great kid.” 

Derek didn’t miss your hesitation, but he decided not to push it. You would tell him when you were ready. 

-

Three weeks later

When you stepped into the kitchen, you couldn’t help but laugh. Derek was standing over the stove, eggs cooking in the pan and music playing from your speaker. 

“Alright, show me your moves. Dance with me, Angel.” He laughed, Angelica jumping and spinning around him. Derek was beaming, picking her up in his arms and twirling around, spotting you out of the corner of his eye. “Morning.” 

“Morning momma!” Angelica exclaimed. You smiled and kissed her cheek. 

“Good morning Jellybean.” You kissed Derek, smiling against his lips. “Good morning Derek.” 

“We’re making you breakfast.” Angel grinned. “We’ve got eggs and bacon and french toast.” 

“Don’t forget the coffee.” Derek added. You laughed. 

“No, never forget the coffee.” You poured yourself a cup and watched as Derek continued his playful dancing with your daughter. It was hard to believe that he didn’t know she existed a month ago. In just a few weeks, Derek had become a fixture in her life. He was sweet and funny and, most importantly, he really cared about her. “Oh, Derek, I almost forgot. Could you pick Angel up after school today? I have a bunch of meetings today that are supposed to go late. Obviously if you have to leave for a case, I can figure something else out, but I figured if you were here you might be available?” 

“I’ll let you know if we have to take off, but I should be able to otherwise.” 

“Yay!” Angel cheered, placing a big kiss on his cheek. Derek chuckled. 

“Alright, Angel, you’d better go get ready.” He put her back down. “And if you’re quick, I’ll make you an extra piece of french toast, okay?”

“Okay, Derek!” She grinned and sprinted to her room. You watched him in awe. 

“I can’t believe how good you are with her.” You mused. Derek smirked. 

“What can I say? Chicks love me.” He teased. You rolled your eyes. Dereke snaked an arm around your waist and kissed your cheek. 

“I have two sisters.” He chuckled, shrugging slightly. “Besides, Angel is a sweet girl.”

“She’s crazy about you, that’s for sure.” You laughed lightly, taking another sip of coffee. Everything felt exactly the way it was supposed to. Derek made you feel safer than you had in a long time and, even more, he made you happier than you had been in years. 

Derek gave you a quick kiss goodbye before jetting off to the BAU. You watched his car pull away as he blew a kiss to Angelica with a grin on his face. 

When he got to work, an eagerly curious face was awaiting him. Penelope had been trying to figure out who Derek’s new girl was for a while. He hadn’t told her your name, partially because it was fun to watch her squirm with not knowing, but also because he knew her too well. She’d find out everything she could about you and he wanted to find it out for himself. He didn’t want you getting profiled by anybody else on the team. 

“You can stop grinning like that, babygirl, I’m still not going to tell you.” He smirked. Garcia pouted. 

“I can’t believe you torture me like this.” She huffed. “I am your best friend and therefore am privy to any and all relationship details. Hiding them is like breaching our deepest form of trust.” 

“I have given you details, Penelope.” He chuckled. “I’ve told you I’m seeing someone, it’s more serious than a usual fling, and that you would approve of her.” 

“How do you know I would approve?” Garcia challenged, punching his shoulder. “She’s got to be one hell of a woman to be good enough for my Derek Morgan.” 

“She is, babygirl. Believe me, she is.” He put an arm around her as they walked in together. Prentiss gave the pair a smile. 

“Did he finally tell you who she is?” 

“No and it is killing me!” 

“I still think he made her up to torture us.” Reid laughed as he walked by. Derek thwacked the back of his head and everyone laughed as they went to their piles of dreaded paperwork. Derek stopped by J.J.’s office. 

“Hey, J.J. what does today look like so far? Any cases?” 

“None that aren’t going to take me all day to prepare, why?” She smirked. “Got a hot date with your mystery woman tonight?” Morgan chuckled. 

“Something like that.” 

“Seriously, we are all dying to meet the woman that finally caged our resident playboy.” J.J. whined. 

“You’ll all meet her soon enough, I promise. I just don’t want all of you scaring Y/N off yet.” He wiggled his eyebrows, content with giving her just enough of a clue to appease the beasts for a while. 

Walking back to his desk, he had to shake his head, laughing as J.J. rushed to Garcia’s office to tell her the ‘mystery woman’s’ name. 

The day passed just as J.J. had said. Without a case, it was all catching up on paperwork and studying different cases. Of course, Garcia would be looking up every Y/N in Virginia and Morgan couldn’t help but revel in her vain efforts. 

He was pouring himself another cup of coffee when Prentiss tapped his shoulder. 

“Hey, your phone’s been ringing. I was half tempted to answer just to get it to stop. Can’t you hear it?” 

“I guess my mind was somewhere else.” He shrugged. He finished pouring his coffee and went back to his desk. “SSA Morgan.” 

“Derek…” You tried to calm down enough so you could speak clearly. 

“Y/N? Baby, what is it? Are you okay?” The entire office shifted with him. They saw his body tense and his voice change with concern. 

“It’s Angelica. S-she disappeared from school. They said she was there before recess and when they came back in, she was gone. Derek, he took her. I know he did. If we don’t find her he’s going to-”

“Woah, slow down, baby. I’m coming to you, okay. Where are you, the school?”

“Yeah, but Derek I-”

“I’ll be right there. Don’t go anywhere until I get there.” He hung up and grabbed his jacket. Prentiss looked at him with a worried expression. 

“Morgan, is everything okay?”

“Tell Hotch I had to leave.” 

“Why? What happened?” Reid asked. Derek looked around at all of their concerned faces and sighed. 

“I don’t have time to explain right now and it might be nothing, but if it isn’t…” He hated to admit it, but this wasn’t about his ego. This was about you and Angel. “I might need your help.” 

With that, he was gone, running to the elevator to get to you as fast as he could.

-

General Tag: @rae-gar-targaryen; @takemepedropascal; @childhood-imagination;  @mylovegoesto; @yellowbadgergirl; @itmejado; @suckmyapplejacks

[tibby]

if it’s okay to ask do you have any headcanons on an AU where the apprentices kill John and end up being an awful messed up found family featuring my beloved Diana gordon having the weirdest parental figures known to man. Thank you in advance and don’t worry if this makes no sense it’s very late

oooh, interesting! i haven't thought much about this direction for them so it's a little jumbled but hopefully it's enough:

amanda would have to be the one to kill john. i can't imagine her ever forgiving any of the others if they did it given her issues with forgiveness as a whole + attachment to john, and i think if anyone else killed him...it'd be hard for her to ever free herself from his hold on her.

but after saving adam For Lawrence she's started to pull away from john (see here), and then everything with lynn happens and lynn is kind to her and lynn thinks she can do better than all of this, and lynn isn't involved with everything and maybe that's all amanda needs. and much like her sudden decision to save adam she makes the sudden decision to shoot john instead of lynn, because amanda deserves to have romantic love too.

and now john is dead and amanda's in crisis and there's no point in continuing the games. amanda can't go down that path again. lawrence's priority is adam, who never wanted any part of this. and even hoffman isn't stupid enough to try anything on his own when the others are still out there.

so. john dies and they wrap up the games and bury enough evidence so that strahm and perez and whoever else can't ever tie anything back to them.

and amanda moves in with lawrence and adam and it's awkward and it's hard and they're all so deeply fucked up, but amanda was the one who john sunk his claws into the deepest. so it's the hardest for her. a lot of guilt, a lot of anger, a lot of resentment. it's not a pretty time for any of them.

but time heals and amanda has lynn and lawrence and adam and they care about her without expecting anything from her, love her without demanding that she plays any games. and eventually she's able to recognise that what john did to her was fucked up and she was a victim. not all wounds can be healed but they all learn to cope and to live.

(even hoffman, who can't really go on killing when the others would turn him in so fast but he can't really go on being the world's worst cop either, so he's just kind of...there. still kind of a shitty person but when he has nothing to gain and everything to lose from killing one of the others...well. nobody else wants anything to do with him. might as well hang around).

and then there's diana. and alison has primary custody (lawrence knew it was for the best given his work schedule, brief time as a serial killer accomplice, and the fact two unstable twenty somethings live with him) but lawrence still gets her a few times throughout the month.

and neither amanda or adam really know what to do with an eight year old girl at first, but. they try! they don't swear in front of her and they sit through bad children's movies for her and they let her paint their nails all sorts of colours and put little braids in their hair.

once lawrence had to work late and they all just made ice cream sundaes for dinner, because sometimes it's okay to have a little indulgence when caring for the traumatised child of your boyfriend/friend/housemate.

diana thinks adam is a little weird (she's right) but he's funny and he makes her dad happy so she likes him. she thinks amanda is super pretty and super cool and tells her this every time she sees her, and amanda always blushes and looks away but says "thanks kid. you're pretty cool too."

hoffman is usually banned from the house when diana's visiting but one time he showed up unannounced and they were like say one wrong thing and lawrence gets to beat you with his cane. diana thought he was a freak but he made some really good mac and cheese so she didn't say it to his face.

(when diana gets older she will not have the same decorum. 13 year old diana gordon WILL make this grown former murderer cry).

diana helps out adam with his vegetable garden and she sits around and watches whenever amanda has to fix the sink or whatever.

a few years after everything, lawrence gets diana for christmas and adam makes them take a stupid family photo in ugly sweaters together. amanda tries to leave but adam will NOT let her. and the stupid picture of lawrence, adam, amanda, diana, and adam's cat is hanging up in the living room.

[griavian]

the 36 questions that lead to love

x <- read on ao3

dream finds a list of questions that can supposedly lead to two people falling in love, so him and george try it out on stream. turns out, they don't really need all 36.

“Come on, George. It’s just a couple of questions.” Dream pleaded into the call, making George roll his eyes. He’s been trying to end stream for the past 15 minutes, but Dream always convinces him to go “just a little longer!”.

“36 questions is not just a couple of questions, Dream.” George glances at his second monitor to make sure his green screen was still black and to check a few discord messages. He had no intention to fall into Dream’s trap for another hour of streaming.

“But it says it’ll lead to love!” Dream says, exasperated. He googled ‘questions to ask your friend’ earlier and found a list of them that apparently lead to falling in love. To George, it was bullshit.

“That’s such bullshit.” He expresses.

“You’re no fun.” Dream’s voice lowered, and George can feel the pout Dream has plastered on his face. He can already predict what the next 12 hours would be like with Dream: silent treatment and being a general dickhead. George was used to it when they lived an ocean apart, and even found it amusing, but it was a totally different experience living with him. Dream would mope around, go into George’s room randomly just to not talk to him, and go as far as to blast sad music from his own room across the hall while George was trying to finish up some editing. Sure, it was all light-hearted jokes, and Dream would stop his act in a heartbeat if George was truly annoyed by it, but George still dreaded it.

“Fine.”

Dream immediately cheers up and starts typing on his keyboard while George watches his chat fly by, seeing a lot of emotes and positive messages.

“Okay, um- first question. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom,” Dream mocks the formality, “would you want as a dinner guest?”

George’s nose crinkles. “How is that gonna make me fall in love with you?”

“Just answer the question.”

“I don’t know! The queen?”

“That’s a stupid answer.”

“What!” George screeches and Dream barks out a laugh. “You’re so dumb.”

“You gotta give me a better answer than that, or else we won’t fall in love with each other.”

George rolls his eyes, but decides to think about his answer. Truthfully, he wouldn’t want anyone special as a dinner guest. “Um. My mum.”

George eyes his chat as it’s filled with “aw”s. He almost scoffs.

“See? That wasn’t so hard.” George wants to punt Dream into another universe.

“Alright, who would you want as a guest?”

“Tom Brady.”

“That’s the stupidest answer ever!” George yells, his eyes wide, perhaps offended that Dream picked Tom Brady out of anyone else in the world.

“Question two!” Dream ignores, “This one is kinda dumb, but would you like to be famous and if you do, what for?”

George hums. “Probably don’t want to be famous-famous. Maybe being well-known for being the first person to invent IRL-VR. I want my body to be submerged in the Minecraft universe.”

“That’s sick. I dunno what I’d want-”

“You’re already famous.”

“Shut up. I don’t even- I don’t even want to be famous, really. I just want to make whoever knows me smile.”

“Aww, isn’t that sweet, Dream.” George teases and he knows Dream waved him off. George has his habits practically memorized.

“Whatever. How about you ask some questions?” Dream sends a link on discord and George reads through them.

“There’s no way these can make people fall in love. What even is this question? Before making a telephone call, do you rehearse what you’re going to say and why?”

“Trust the process. I mean, I do that. I don’t want my brain all jumbled up, I guess. Words are hard.” Dream answers.

“I don’t think I’ve ever done that. I wing it.”

“That’s very you. Next question.” Something about Dream saying that made George smile the tiniest bit, made the serotonin flow through his brain.

“What’s a ‘perfect day’ for you?” George reads. It’s quiet for a moment.

“Hanging out with you,” his voice is sincere, “You and Sapnap. Recording, streaming, anything like that. What about you?”

“Hm. Me too.”

George isn’t one to show his feelings often. He remembers being asked if he did, and he answered with “not ones that matter”. It still rings true to this day. His walls are still built up and that’s okay to George. Mushy feelings aren’t important, but he’d be damned if he didn’t say his heartstrings were playing a beautiful melody during this moment.

The questions and answers fall easily after that. George knows it’s around 1 am, and he should go to sleep, but answering the questions was kind of addicting.

“Do you have a hunch on how you’ll die?” Dream reads the question with a chuckle. “That’s such a weird question to ask someone you wanna fall in love with.”

George tries not to read in between the lines.

“Heart failure. For both of us.”

“You know how I’ll die?”

“We’re Minecraft streamers, Dream. We’ll probably die at 40.” They share jokes and giggles of scenarios where they die and what they’d do, and something about it feels a bit too honest.

“I’ll die the day you die, George. Emotionally and physically.” Dream says, dramatic as ever. George only huffs, and they leave it there.

“Name three things you and your partner have in common. Dream, do you have a secret girlfriend?” They start to bicker back and forth, because of course they do.

“It doesn’t mean romantic partner, you dumbass. Like- it’s like a science partner,” Dream sighs, “Well, we do have a lot in common. We have the same job, we care about the same things, and we love each other! Easy.” Dream answers.

“Who said I loved you?”

“You literally did last night.” George had closed chat a while ago, already prepared for what was to come. He can only imagine what they’re saying.

“They’ll never believe you.” George says with a sadistic grin.

“Ugh. Okay, what are you grateful for in life? You have to answer this.” George can hear Dream get a little closer to his mic, almost anticipating George’s answer. Dream knows how much he doesn’t like to express any feelings, and probably expects him to skip the question overall. George prevails.

“You. Obviously,” and before Dream can get out an aww, George says, “You made my career, dummy, and I’m grateful for that. And my friends, family, all the normal things. Chat! I’m even grateful for chat.”

“Well, I’m incredibly grateful for you especially.” Dream’s voice is soft, almost loving. George rolls his eyes. He could’ve guessed Dream’s answer, but it weirdly hurts him when it was spoken aloud. He doesn’t know whether it hurts because it might be a fun little joke or if it’s because someone might care about him that much. George decides to stop thinking.

They answer more questions, from taking four minutes to tell each other their life stories (“There was no reason to add that detail; you’re so gross, Dream.”) to what significant quality they would want to wake up and suddenly have (“You’re already good at code shit, George. That’s the saddest answer ever.”). They move onto section two of the list, which are deeper questions.

“Is there something you’ve dreamed of doing but haven’t yet, and why haven’t you?” George asks. He knows about Dream’s unfinished projects. There’s probably a million answers to the question, and George would listen to every single one.

“Uh, well. You know I was writing a book, yeah? I was halfway done with it, and I can’t make myself finish it. It’s probably writer’s block, but I don’t think I’ll be able to do it.” George frowned.

“You can’t finish it with that attitude, silly. You’re annoyingly amazing at everything.” George says with a snort, “I don’t have an answer to this. What did you say that one time? Your future is my future? Well, your dreams are my dreams, then.”

George cringes a little at what he said. He doesn’t know his viewer count, but knows that at least a million people will watch that clip out of context. Dream doesn’t say anything back and moves on to the next question.

“What is your most treasured memory?” Dream asks, and George immediately laughs.

“I definitely know your’s.”

“Do tell, George.”

“Our first Christmas together. Sapnap insisted on getting a real Christmas tree, and when we started decorating the stupid thing, Sapnap sees a spider and screeches. Then, our neighbors come knocking on the front door and you had to explain to them that nobody was being murdered, it was just your roommate being a big baby. And as if it could get any worse, I got tree-sap all on my fingers and clothes and you couldn’t help me because you were laughing too hard.”

“Pretty sure I almost choked on my own spit.” Dream adds, and George scoffs. “But no, that’s not my treasured memory.”

George sputters. “What? You’re telling me I told that to thousands of people for nothing?”

“To be fair, you were all soft on Christmas morning, so our first Christmas might be your treasured memory. Anyways, remember the first time you helped me with a code?” George stays silent, giving Dream the answer. “Well, that was the first time we had a real conversation. I made you laugh, then I started to laugh because you laughed, and we didn’t get the code done. It sounds dumb, but I always smile whenever I think about it.”

George’s face falters a bit. God, he just wants to hug Dream; he wants to make a beeline for his room and attack him with affection and make sure he knows that George loves him, platonically or romantically, George wants him to know.

He just can’t express it with words.

“That… sweet.” George’s eyes travel down the following questions and panics, seeing how personal the questions are. He fakes a yawn. “As mushy and stupid this thing is, I’m really tired.”

Dream doesn’t say anything. It almost scares George, but he deafens on Discord and bids farewell to his viewers, who were completely freaking out. George doesn’t blame them. He’s abruptly leaving after a sweet moment? That’s a recipe for disaster, and George knows better. Yet, he clicks the end stream button.

The door to his office swings open instantly and startles George. It was Sapnap, someone he didn’t particularly want to see.

“What the fuck was that?” His roommate whisper-yells.

George groans and slides deeper into his chair, covering his face. “I don’t know,” he muffles.

“Are you even trying to hide your feelings at this point?” He can hear Sapnap close the door and flop on his office’s couch. “You might as well buy a billboard that says ‘I’m in love with my best friend! His name is Clay!’ with a big ass picture of your dumb face beside it.”

“I know,” George whines. “Do you think he knows?”

“He’s not the one I’m worried about knowing. I’ve told you a million goddamn times that he’s too whipped to notice. I’m worried about the fans. They’re gonna go fucking bonkers because of this stream. Clips are gonna be shared. People are gonna speculate.”

George uncovers his face and narrows his eyes at his friend. “Thanks for the reassurance,” he deadpans.

Sapnap rolls his eyes. “I’m being serious, dude. I know you’re very deeply in love with him in the gayest of ways, but you gotta be careful in front of the fans.”

“Oh my God. I know, Sapnap! I know. I forgot we were even streaming. It felt like it was just the two of us, and I got too comfortable. And it was so nice. I can’t even do anything about it now, so it doesn’t even matter.”

Sapnap sighs and pulls himself from the couch. “You need to talk to him before this gets out of hand. You know I love ya, and that I’m here for you.” George cringes out of habit, but nods. It reads as ‘I love you too, I guess’.

Sapnap leaves without another word, and George is left alone with his thoughts. It’s not long before he sluggishly makes his way back to his bedroom. He opens the closed door, enters, and shuts it. He turns around, only to be greeted by a familiar person in his bed, and yelps.

Dream laughs. He’s wearing blue pajama pants and a white t-shirt. His hair looks messed with, and his cheeks seem to have more color to them. George can’t help but stare.

“Well? Aren’t we gonna finish it?”

George cocks an eyebrow.

“Finish what?”

“The questions, dummy. You don’t… you don’t have to. I mean, it’s kinda stupid that I want to do it in the first place, but…” Dream trails off. George hops on his bed and grins lightly.

“Go for it.”

They answer questions they skipped, like what is your most terrible memory (“My, uh, grandma. She died when I was about 14. It was… hard on me.” “Oh, George…”).

The overhead light was off at this point, the only light coming from a lamp on his desk and the stars shining through the window. The two are on their sides, Dream on the right of the bed and George on the left, facing each other, occasionally looking at their phones to ask the questions.

“What roles do love and affection play in your life?” Dream asks, his voice softer than ever. George can almost not answer. He doesn’t know.

“I’ve never been a super affectionate person, so I don’t know. I’ll give you guys quick hugs of course, but with really close relationships, I don’t know what to do.”

Dream looks as if he’s searching for something in George’s face, and George can’t tell what he’s looking for. His movements are hesitant, George sees.

“Do- um. You wanna maybe,” Dream pauses, closes his eyes,and scrunches up his face. “Try?”

“Try what?”

“Affection.” Dream lets out a breath and opens his eyes. “Affection is my strong suit, afterall.” His mouth forms into a teasing smirk despite his eyes showing nervousness.

“Um. Take the lead.”

It’s slow. So, very slow. Dream’s hand raises up and lands itself on the dip of George’s waist. He’s whispering instructions, and George listens. His hands are hung around Dream’s neck, and their legs are starting to tangle together. They laugh when they realize how far apart they are, and Dream pulls him closer. George can feel his heart beating out of his chest as he lays his head where Dream’s right shoulder meets his neck.

“Do you want me to ask the rest of the questions, sweetheart?” It sounded like a coo, and George is surprised at how effortless the pet name comes out of Dream’s mouth.

“Was that okay?” Dream whispers after a moment of George going still. He perks up.

“Yeah! Yeah.”

“Okay.” Dream pulls George closer and rests his left hand on his back. He starts rubbing up and down in slow motions.

George simply melts.

The questions and answers go by slower, and their voices become gentler. Dream announces that they’re on section three now, and to state three true “we” statements. Dream goes first.

“We… are cuddling?”

“Obviously, idiot.” George chuckles. “We are really tired?” Dream hums.

“We meant everything we’ve said tonight.”

“We are going to mean everything we say tonight.”

“You can’t just steal my answer.”

“Just do your third one.”

“We will be ‘Dream and George’ forever.”

Forever is a long, long time. And yet, Dream’s statement is still true.

“We don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow.”

There’s a beat of silence.

“Very vague.”

“Next question, Dream.”

“Alright, alright. Complete this sentence: ‘I wish I had someone whom I could share…’”

Without a second thought, George replies, “My emotions with. Your turn.”

George swears he felt Dream squeeze him.

“My everything with. Every single little thing. Physical, metaphorical, emotional.”

“Even Patches?”

A laugh.

“Yes. Even Patches.”

“Next question.”

“Tell your partner what you like about them and be very honest.”

“Your voice. It’s like… I don’t even know how to describe it.”

“Does it get you going, George?”

“Shut up. I definitely don’t like your smart-assery.” George can feel Dream lean down into George’s shoulder and smile. “I like how you act around people. It’s always different depending on the person. Different with me.”

“I like how you act around people too. You’re almost always bubbly, even though you like to say you aren’t. And, God, your laugh. It’s so overwhelming, but in the best way possible. You have no idea how many times I’ve said the stupidest shit just to hear your little laugh.” George digs his head deeper into Dream’s shoulder. “I also… really like it when you say my name. My real name.”

George raises slightly, gaining the tiniest bit of confidence. “Clay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, that.”

“Clay,” George whispers.

“George.” Dream sounds weak. So, very weak. George gets closer to his ear.

“Clay.”

George can’t tell if he’s joking.

“You’re gonna kill me, George.”

George’s lips brush against the outer of Dream’s ear, and his friend shivers. He decides this isn’t a joke anymore. He thinks the invisible line they had drawn in the sand many years ago has been kicked and stomped on to the point where neither of them remembers the line being there. George goes further.

“Clay, Clay, Clay,” George is still whispering, slowly brushing his lips across Dream’s jaw, and the hands around his waist get the littlest bit tighter.

George finally raises his head to meet Dream, who was a mess. His cheeks are glowing and his eyes are almost bloodshot. His breath is labored and his hands are shaky.

“Calm down, love.” George whispers and raises his right hand to meet Dream’s cheek, who leans into the touch.

“Kiss me.” Dream begs quietly, as if saying anything louder would shatter the moment in little pieces.

An adrenaline rush fills George’s veins. “Anything you want,” he says, and closes the gap.

The kiss is soft. Dream is maneuvering their bodies to be more comfortable, meaning George is pulled on top of Dream. Their lips didn’t part once.

They move together in harmony, both in the kiss and their bodies, putting everything they got into it. It was unsaid feelings and years and years of thoughts, and George felt every single one of them. George is straddling Dream’s middle and Dream is leaning up to meet George’s touch. His hands are rubbing up and down and squeezing George’s hips and George’s hands find their way into Dream’s hair. It’s perfect and imperfect and everything George has been waiting for, yearning for.

They part, and Dream pushes their foreheads together. George assumes they look dumb, but how could he care in this moment?

“Beautiful. You’re beautiful.” Dream says, his breath tickling George’s mouth. He lets out a breath and breaks out into a smile. His hands start brushing through Dream’s hair and George backs away to get a good look. Dream is staring back.

George lunges forward and wraps his arms around Dream’s neck, sending him flat on the bed with an “oof”.

“Jesus Christ, George. A warning would be nice.”

“I love you. I-love-you-I-love-you-I-love-you-I-love-you-I-love-you-I-love-you-” George couldn’t get enough of saying it. George’s dam cracked when Dream held him and fucking exploded when they kissed. He doesn’t have to hold back anymore, so he doesn’t.

“Slow down, baby.” Dream says through a chuckle. He makes George lean up with tans hands on pale cheeks and a lot of eye contact. “I love you, too.”

George’s breathing slows down to a normal, less-adrenaline-filled pace, and Dream kisses him again. George forces his head back up.

“What does this mean for us?”

“Isn’t it a little obvious?”

“Not really.”

“Boyfriends, George. We’re dating now.”

“How do you know I wanted to even be your boyfriend.” George narrows his eyebrows in faux-suspicion.

Dream’s stare is blank. “I mean. You’re- well- you know, um-”

George dismisses this shortly and confirms, “I want to be your boyfriend.”

Dream sighs in relief. “You’re such an idiot.”

“Yeah. Whatever.” George slides off Dream’s waist and lays facing him. Dream turns as well. “Was that question the last question?”

“No, actually. There were a few left.” Dream blinks, then muses, “Guess we didn’t need 36 questions after all.”

“That was the cheesiest thing you’ve ever said and I hate you for it.”

“You wound me, George. You wound me.”

George makes up for it by letting himself be engulfed in Dream’s embrace, and feels tiny kisses on the top of his head. George nuzzles closer.

Yeah, everything was going to be fine.

[headheartbellarke]

HOME | Charlie Gillespie

Requested by anon:  "Hi! If request are open can you do a charlie imagine where him and the reader (she/her) met on a project a while back and have been friends for a while, but the reader kinda had a crappy home life so she gets overwhelmed by charlies family being so loving and perfect and she basically breaks down and feels like she doesn’t fit in and isn’t good enough for him? please and thank you so much, ur writing is amazing!!!"

PAIRING(s): Charlie Gillespie x fem! reader

WARNING(s): mentions of abuse, trauma, anxiety, angst, fluff

WORDS: 2,036

SUMMARY: charlie takes co-star and girlfriend y/n home for christmas but that leads to self doubt in her (im so bad at these) [note: this takes place in 2021]

    As Charlie pulls out the key from the ignition, I sigh, wringing my hands nervously. He unbuckles his seatbelt and faces me, giving me a bright, happy smile.

  “My family is so excited to meet you.” He says, reaching forward to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

  “What if they hate me?” I whisper.

  My boyfriend, Charlie, and I first met on the set of Charmed – we were both in the first episode, but I left it after that due to scheduling conflicts with my other show, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. I had been a part of CAOS since its first episode – I played the role of Sabrina’s cousin, Sarah Spellman.

  Back then, we were just friends. After I left Charmed, we would text and call each other occasionally. Whenever we were in the same city, we would meet up – but that was hard considering we both had quite different lives. So, we didn’t think of each other as more than friends – sure I thought that he was attractive, but that’s it.

  But, in 2020, after CAOS was cancelled, I got a call from the casting director of Julie and The Phantoms: she was the one who had previously cast me in CAOS, and she believed that I’d be perfect for the role of Julie’s British cousin who joins her school after her parents relocate to LA – I also play Reggie’s love interest.

  I texted Charlie immediately after my manager finalized all the details for the new role. He had been excited and when shooting started in 2021, we were pretty inseparable.

  After a few weeks, I had developed a major crush on him ad the rest of the cast had also picked up on that. They were also convinced that Charlie liked me (which I didn’t believe at that time but later found out that it was, indeed, true) and they used to tease us about it all the time. Finally, a couple weeks before production ended, he asked me out on a date and it’s been really, really great so far.

  We’ve been dating for about nine months now and honestly, he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. He’s my home – all my life I’ve always felt lost, but I feel like I truly belong with him.

  Now, he laughs. “Baby. I promise you – they already love you. My mother’s been bugging me to bring you home ever since we started dating, and you’ve already met Megan, and she loves you.”

  “If you say so.” I say, still not convinced.

  He grins and we get out of his car and face his childhood home. I take a deep breath, shaking off my nerves. He knocks three times on the front door, and it opens immediately after.

  A petite, blonde woman steps out, with a wide smile on her face. She opens her arms as Charlie yells, “Mamacita!”

  “Mon chéri. Ça fait trop longtemps!”

  “Je vous ai manqué!”

  I have absolutely no idea what they are saying, but the scene in front of me is so heart-warming. Charlie’s mother is genuinely happy to see her son – one can tell by the way she’s holding him, almost like he’s a little child. Charlie is quite a couple inches taller than her, but he’s nestled his face into her shoulder.

  I can’t stop a grin from breaking out on my face. It’s honestly rather lovely. But I also feel a slight pang in my heart knowing that no one ever greets me like this when I go home.

  They separate from each other and she squeezes his shoulders, looking at him with so much love that I have to look away. I have never seen a mother look at their child like that, with such intense love. That’s dumb, I know. Mothers are supposed to love their children. But all my mother ever looks at me with is disappointment, anger, disgust, and – you get it.

  She notices me next and claps her hands. “You must be Y/N!”

  “Hi, Mrs. Gillespie. It’s so nice to meet you!” I extend a hand toward her.

  “Aw, come here! You’re gorgeous.”

  She pulls me in for a hug too, and for a moment I’m engulfed by the smell of white musk and the feeling of warmth.

  We pull apart and I smile at her, genuinely. All my anxiety has washed away.

  “My son is always talking about you, about how pretty you are and –”

  “Let’s go inside!” Charlie quickly cuts her off, eyes widened as I laugh.

  “But I wanna know what he says!”

  Mrs Gillespie winks at me as Charlie turns scarlet. “I’ll tell you when he’s gone.”

***

    Another roar of laughter erupts around the dinner table.

  Honestly, I’ve never seen a family like this – a family so connected, so loving. All of Charlie’s siblings – from his three older brothers to his little sister are here for Christmas Eve, and all of them are teasing each other, telling childhood stories, and just having the best time. I was, too. That was until I suddenly realized how I don’t fit in here.

  Everyone here grew up completely different than I did. When I was young, about two years old – my dad left my mom and I for another woman. I haven’t seen him since – although, he sends me a postcard and some money on holidays and birthdays. He’s travelling around the world with his new wife and is apparently ‘happier than he’s ever been.’

  The reason he left is because kids ‘freak’ him out and he isn’t ‘ready’ for that kind of responsibility. I mean, it wasn’t like he was fifteen when he had me: he was twenty-seven, and already married to my mother for about two years then.

  Naturally, my mother blames me for her divorce. I was born out of an accidental pregnancy, so my mother made sure to remind me every day that I was unwanted, and my birth was what ‘pushed’ him to leave us. Every single day, my mother told me that I shouldn’t have been born, that I was a mistake, that I was worthless, unlovable and so, so many more horrible things. She used to drink like crazy, and if I accidentally faced her in that state, she would sometimes hit me.

  Years and years of abuse and all that childhood trauma led me to develop a fear of abandonment, trust issues, intimacy issues, anxiety, and depression. Throughout school, I had been closed off, unable to form relationships and friendships with other people. I had feared anything and everything – I couldn’t even maintain eye contact with people.

  Of course, when I auditioned for CAOS and moved away to LA, away from that toxic environment, I got help and turned my life around. (My mother was incredibly happy to see me go since she had married another guy and now has a family with him – so I was the only thing left that reminded her of my father.) I learnt to accept, prioritize, and love myself – but I’m still working on that, of course.

  But, I know, deep down, no matter how well I am, or how happy I am – there will always be a part of me that’s broken. I’ve grown to accept that, accept the fact that I’ll always carry the trauma with me.

  But Charlie doesn’t. He’s lived a good life, and he deserves someone who can give him their everything – and that’s not me.

  As much as I hate to say it, I’m not good enough for him.

  He senses a change in my demeanour and squeezes my hand under the table. I give him a weak smile.

***

    “Y/N/N, what’s wrong?”

  I look up at my boyfriend. He has a look of concern on his face as he takes a seat next to me on the couch.

  I sigh into the quiet. Everyone has fallen asleep, except Charlie and I – we are seated in his living room in front of the fireplace.

  “Nothing. I’m just really tired.”

  “That’s not true, Y/N. You were fine throughout dinner – oh my god, it’s the ice cream, isn’t it?”

  “What?”

  “The pistachio ice cream that Maman made. It was weirdly bitter, eh? It’s okay, you can tell me.”

  I purse my lips. “No, Charlie. The ice cream was great.”

  “Are you sure? You’ve been down since desert.”

  “It’s not the ice cream, babe.”

  “Okay, then, what is it?”

  He looks at me expectantly, and I can sense that he’s feeling anxious.

  “I just – I realized that I don’t fit in.”

  He furrows his brows, but before he can say anything, I start speaking again. “Charlie, you have such a loving and perfect family. And you know how I grew up. What I went through. So, you know that I’m not used to this. I’m not – I’ve never seen love like this in a family, you know. And I don’t fit in here! While your mother was being so nice to me, I kept wondering when she’s going to scream at me. Or when your father was genuinely interested in me, I kept thinking that maybe he’s trying to find a way to get rid of me. It’s just – it’s just the way I grew up, and I’ll always be like this, Char. Your family is so nice, and it shocks me, honestly. And I think that maybe it’s better if you date someone who grew up the way you did, someone who’s like you. Because I have been broken my whole life, and I don’t think that I can give you everything that you need. I don’t think I’m good enough for you. You’re the best person that I’ve ever met, and I think you should be with someone who’s worthy of you.”

  I whisper the last part, and feel a teardrop fall into the space between my collarbones. I look down because I’m too afraid of what he might say.

  I hear him breathe out heavily and I feel him take my hands in his.

  “Don’t you ever say that.”

  “But it’s true –”

  “Y/N. Don’t you dare doubt yourself. You are good enough. No, you’re perfect. You’re the strongest woman I know. I completely understand why you feel what you’re feeling right now.”

  He scoots closer to me and cups my cheeks in his hands. “And it’s okay. It’s okay to feel that way. It’s okay to feel shocked. That doesn’t make you a bad person, nor does it make you not good enough. In fact, it makes all the stronger – you went through so much as a kid, and still, you have space in your heart for me. You know, I never doubt the fact that you love me, ever. Because you always make me feel special, make me feel good about myself and always make sure that I’m happy. You always go out of your way to take care of me, and you always make me feel at home. I don’t want anyone other than you. I love you so much and I never, ever wanna lose you.”

  I think I’m fully crying now, as Charlie continues, “It’s okay to feel that way. Take your time. But I’m never leaving you. You’re my person, and you’ll always fit in with me, baby. Always.”

  “Charlie…”

  I look at him properly, and I can see the pain in his eyes as a tear traces along the curve of his cheek. He sniffs, saying, “I’m sorry. I just can’t imagine being with anyone other than you.”

  “Why are you so good to me?” I whisper, my throat still tight from the emotions.

  “Because you deserve someone good, and I can only hope that I’m good for you.”

  I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in his shoulder as a sob escapes my body. “I’m so sorry, baby. So, so sorry.” I keep whispering that, while he rubs my back, saying ‘it’s okay.’

  “I love you so much, Charlie. Honestly, thanks for being so good to me. You have no idea what you mean to me.”

  I can feel him smile as he says, “I think I have a pretty good idea, yeah.”

***

jatp requests are open <3

[sunaswife]

Summary: It’s been five years since you’ve seen your ex, Rin. He’s still not over you and you’re not over him. When he finds out you have children he thought he didn’t have a chance. Then he finds out they’re his? All of a sudden you’re teaching Suna how to be a single dad.

note from denise: hi hii 🥺 I’m so happy and i love this chapter even though it’s all over the place so I’m sorry plz forgive me 🙇‍♀️

Warnings: Fluff, angst I guess, drama, and cuteness twin overload

Previously Up Next Masterlist

Chapter eight

You heard Hana and Jamie bickering in the living room as you took the burnt part off of the bell peppers you roasted. You were looking out the window in front of the sink every once in a while to check up on the kids. They were having fun playing with their father and uncles. You’ve never seen them smile brighter.

You were happy that they finally had their father, Tobio was a good figure but obviously not their real father. Earlier Rin gave his first scolding to your son for shoving Akira and he also told Akira that calling people idiot wasn’t nice. You couldn’t help but snicker behind your cardigan since he was obviously nervous and a bit awkward but it all worked out in the end. The twins and your best friends were peering through the door at the scene and they were in awe.

It just looked so natural. You, Rin and the kids. All that’s missing is a pet dog or cat. Jamie thought if you and Rin really try then you both could fall in love again and be a nice family all together. She grew up with divorced parents so she knew how tough it could be. She doesn’t want to hear you and Rin fighting in the future about upcoming holidays. Or maybe eventually having to separate the twins.

“Hana do you think you could ask the guys if they want to stay for dinner?” You said from the kitchen. “Oka-“ “No y/n, I think you should do it.” Jamie popped in. “Huh? I’m literally cooking.” You said as you reached into the bag of roasted peppers. Your fingers were stuck onto the black crisps. “You’re trying to avoid them.” She squinted and you rolled your eyes. “No I’m not.” You defended yourself. “Yes you are.” She deadpanned. “You never say no to setting for your kids. Even if you’re busy you tell them to give you five or ten minutes but when Rini asked you straight up said no since you needed to cook. I think that stung him a bit. He probably wanted to show off his skills to his dad.” She said and you frowned slightly. “I mean it’s fine, she’s probably uncomfortable which makes sense. The worst people in the world are just chilling in her house. It makes sense that she’s on edge.” The familiar voice said and you turned to see Atsumu leaning against the breakfast bar between your kitchen and living room. You didn’t want to say he’s right..but I mean..he’s right.

“...would you like to stay for dinner?” You asked awkwardly as Jaime sighed and walked away. “Mmm depends, what are you making?” He teased to try to help you ease up. “Food, either take it or leave it.” You said plainly as you flipped the pepper on the stove. “I miss your cooking so I think I’ll stay. Let me call Osamu so he can help.” He said and you immediately protested. “No it’s fine, you guys are the guests. I’ll feel bad.” You said and he chuckled. “Y/N-Chan..” he started, “Osamu owns his own restaurant, all he does is eat, cook, and work out. He would want nothing more than to help you cook. It’s in his DNA.” He said and you rolled your eyes. “Fine ask Rin if he wants to stay too.” You said. “Oh he’ll want to stay, plus we all carpooled together.” He said and you nodded and he left.

“Yo, we gotta go.” Jamie said from the doorway. “Did you say bye to the kids?” You asked and she nodded. “Sorry Y/N, we have a doctors appointment.” Jamie frowned slightly. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll call you later.” You smiled and she nodded sadly. After a quick goodbye hug they were out the door and Osamu was waiting in the kitchen to help you cook.

“Alright boss, let’s get started.” He said as he washed his hands and you chuckled.

Dinner went good, the kids mainly talked and were the stars of the show. After dinner they wanted to show their uncles and dad their Minecraft worlds on their tablets, courtesy of Tobio.

Suna offered to help clean up but you insisted it was fine and to spend as much time with the kids and he reluctantly agreed and you were left alone.

Your phone buzz after you sat on the breakfast bar to enjoy yet another cup of tea and you almost spilled it when you saw who was calling. “Holy shit, holy shit.” You muttered and the guys immediately turned to you from their spots on the couch. “I’m going to take this phone call I’ll be right back.” You said leaving Rin in charge and you answered while you made your way down the hall.

“Hello?” “Hi is this Y/N? This is Natsuo, the songwriter and director for the soundtrack for Kimetsu No Yaiba. From my understanding you are voicing Nezuko and Shinobu, correct?” “That is correct, sir.” You replied, “Well I stumbled across your portfolio and resume and I phone called your old vocal coach and he said some things about you.” He said. “Well I hope they’re all good.” You chuckled nervously.

“Yes they’re more than good actually and I wanted to offer you the opportunity of singing the opening for the anime, if not then maybe the outro. Would you be interested? Of course you’d have to come to the studio and sing for us and we’ll decide but I wanted to ask first since I know you also work as a volleyball commentator as well.” He said and you gasped.

“Yes sir of course, I would be honored...” you said happily. “Great! I see that you come in the studio on Monday for the read through of the script. Can you come earlier to audition?” He asked and you agreed and set up a time.

Normally any other person would want to audition after but if it’s singing, you can’t eat or drink sweet stuff before because it messes up your throat and you can accidentally burp and embarrass yourself. So you’d rather do the singing audition before and eat whatever is at the snack bar during the read through.

When you hung up the phone you squealed and did a little happy dance. You quickly took a deep breath and you made your way out of your office back to the living room. “Um...where are the twins? The Miya’s I mean.” You asked when you saw that only Suna was chilling with a kid on each side of him. “Osamu needed to check up on his shop and Atsumu had to go to the gym. I decided to stay behind because I didn’t know how long you would take.” He replied.

“But didn’t you all carpool?” You asked and he nodded. “I can Uber. Don’t worry.” He said and you nodded and sat next to Rini. “Kids guess what.” You said happily and they both looked up from their tablets. “I go to the studio on monday—“ “THE STUDIO CAN WE GO?!” They immediately asked with bright eyes. “Uh—I don’t know guys, I’m working and Jamie has work too i don’t know if someone can watch you guys at the studio.” You said. “What time and I’ll go. I can keep them entertained.” Suna spoke up.

“I’m gonna be there for a few hours..I’ll have a read through of the script and a song audition before that..” you told him. “Wait what do you do anyways?” He asked curiously and the kids gasped. “You don’t know what mommy does for a living?! She’s the coolest mom in the world.” Rini exclaimed with extended arms to emphasize the world. “Listen to the voice of the narrator.“ Akira said and shoved the tablet in his hands. It was Peppa pig. Honestly they couldn’t find a cooler role you played in? Even the side characters were fine, but Akira had to choose peppa pig.

Rin listened to peppa as she scolded her little brother Georgie. And finally he heard your voice narrate what happened and his eyes widened. “No way, you’re a voice actor?” He asked and you nodded. “Wow imagine that. You were always so shy and now your voice is heard by millions across the world.” He teased and your face tinted.

“Well when you put it like that it freaks me out!” You snatched the tablet from his hands and the kids looked at each other with raised brows. “I’m only kidding. But it’s pretty amazing that you do that. Any big roles you’re playing soon?” He asked. “I may or may not be acting in Kimetsu No Yaiba.” You said which was a manga series you both were obsessed with when you were together. “Say sike right now.” He gasped and you gave him that I’m serious face.

“Congrats Y/N. That’s freaking amazing. May i ask who you’re voicing?” He asked and you shook your head. “That’s a secret.” You said and he sighed. “Man got my hopes up for nothing.” He muttered causing your kids to giggle.

“Momma we invited dad to the field trip tomorrow he said yes.” Akira spoke up and your eyes widened. “Wait what—“ “I didn’t necessarily say yes. I wanted to make sure it was cool with you, first. They told me that they were homeschooled and you take them to different places for field trips all the time.” He tried to correct Akira and you nodded.

“Well...I mean..if you want to go then it’s fine. We’re going to an aquarium.” You said and the kids gave him puppy dog eyes. “Alright I’ll go then. It’ll be fun and you guys can show me what you’ve learned.” He smiled softly and the kids cheered. Is this really a good idea? You don’t know. But if your kids are happy, then you’re happy.

“Rin It’s getting late they have bath time and then they need to sleep.” You told him as the kids ran up and down the hall racing with Rini’s toy cars. “Alright then I’ll leave.” “I’m not kicking you out of anything-“ “No it’s fine I get it. I’ve intruded in your territory long enough.” He chuckled and you nodded. “Children of the corn! I’m leaving.” He called and immediately the kids emerged from the hallway and began whining and protesting. “You need to take a bath then go to bed. It’s late. I’m seeing you tomorrow anyways.” He knelt down on his knee to be of eye level with the kids.

“But we don’t want you to leave. I won’t sleep if you don’t read me a story.” Rini pouted and Akira nodded and you both sighed. “Fine, I’ll read you a bed time story and you will go sleep.” He told them and they nodded.

You rounded up the kids for a bubble bath and Rin was sitting on the counter as you explained what kind of kids soap you use and such. But he was mostly watching the kids play with the bubbles. “Hey Akira do you think I’ll look cool with my hair like this?” Rini asked with his messy wannable mohawk, he looked more like the grinch. Akira looked at her brother and snorted. “You look like a troll.” She muttered causing Rini to pout. “You’re so mean.” He mumbled. You got the shower head and told Akira to close her eyes as you finished washing her hair and body and she was finished. “Do you wanna try to finish Rini while I change Akira?” You asked Suna and his eyes widened. “I only know how to bathe my dog, I don’t know how to bathe a kid.” He protested. “Weren’t you watching me?” You asked. “I was distracted with the bubbles, okay.” He deadpanned and you sighed. “Rini help your dad.” You said plainly and left despite Suna’s protests.

“Alright princess, let’s get you dried up and ready for bed, yeah?” You asked the shivering girl in your arms and she nodded. You placed her on the bed and dried her hair a bit and you began to put on her lotion. You helped her into her underwear and she wanted to wear her fox onzie so you began helping her feet in when Rini stumbled in naked with Rin chasing after him with a towel. They were both soaking wet.

“Oh my god.” You sighed. “Boys.” Akira mumbled and you nodded. “You’re worse than washing a dog.” He said as he held him and dried his hair. “Woof.” Rini snickered and Suna flicked his forehead. “I’m soaking wet now.” He deadpanned to his son. You zipped up Akira after successfully placing her in her onzie and you moved on to your son. “Stop giving your dad such a hard time, he’s new to this whole parenting thing ya know?” You told him as you began to rub his face with lotion. “Akira go brush your teeth.” You told her and she pulled her dad along with her. “What do you want to wear to sleep?” You asked. “Can I wear my Fox onzie too?” He asked and you nodded. “Of course.” You replied and helped him into it too.

Rini went on his way to brush his teeth and you were met with the view of Rin helping his daughter floss and you just wanted to melt. This was so freaking cute. You don’t know if your heart could handle the cuteness. “Alrighty next victim!” Rin said and picked up Rini. He began to help him brush his teeth. You helped Akira down from the counter and she went off to look for a good book. You decided it was best to get one of Tobio’s shirts and shorts he had lying around for Rin so he wouldn’t get sick.

When Rini finished brushing his teeth, he went out to help Akira search for a book. “Are you still soaked?” You asked and Suna nodded. “Here wear this so you won’t get sick.” You tossed him some gym shorts and a random T-shirt. He gave a small thanks and you closed the bathroom door to leave him to change. “Alright where are my little foxes?” You hummed and you found your little demons kids jumping on your bed and patiently waiting to read. “Why aren’t you both in bed?” You asked and they stopped jumping and turned to you. “We wanna sleep here with you and daddy!” Rini said and you almost choked on air.

WITH RIN?! ARE THEY CRAZY OR CRAZY?

“Baby he’s not spending the night. He’s only going to read you a bedtime story then leave. You’ll see him tomorrow when you wake up.” You told them and they both had the saddest look on their faces. “But we wanna sleep with you and daddy. Please can he spend the night. Please please please!” Akira begged.

“I don’t mind if you don’t. It’s only for the night.” Rin almost whispered in your ear and you turned your head to him. “Are you sure? What about tomorrow? What are you going to wear?” You asked, “We can stop by my apartment in the morning before we head out.” He said and you raised a brow and turned back to your kids they were already comfy on the middle of your bed and you released your nth sigh of the day. “Fine, one night.” You answered and grabbed your pajamas and left to the bathroom to change.

When you returned Rin was on the left side of the bed with Rini right next to him. Akira patted your spot on the right side and you sat against the headboard of the bed. The twins had two books they wanted you both to read but they all fell asleep while you read the second one. You looked to see Rin, Rini and Akira sleeping and you can never get over how similar they looked like Rin. You quietly hopped out of bed and put the books away and turned off the lights.

You woke up to the sun shining on your face and arms around your waist. You felt a weight on your chest and you sighed and opened your eyes. You blinked a few times to make sure you weren’t seeing things but sure enough, Rin was sleeping on your chest. Just like old times and you tried to control your breathing. You don’t want to be the type of ex who yells and they fall off the bed. You realized the kids were not on the bed too and if Rin was cuddling you, then they must have been gone for a while.

“Rintarou—the kids—WAKE UP!” You quickly shook him and he opened his eyes and quickly moved away. He felt around him and he noticed the kids weren’t there. You both paused in silence to see if you can hear them but when you didn’t you quickly yeeted yourself off the bed with Rin following right at your tail. You opened the door to the twins room and you saw them in their own bed hugging their plushies. You held a hand over your chest and you leaned against the doorframe. “My heart literally dropped.” You turned to Rin.

“Mine did too. Do they usually do that?” He asked. “No, never.” You sighed and closed the door.

The twins opened their eyes and they looked at eachother from across the room. “I told you mom would get a heart attack. We’re lucky she didn’t cry.” Akira whispered. “Whatever at least they cuddled together like a nice married couple.” Rini whispered back and Akira nodded. “I hope mommy and daddy get back together.” Akira said. “They will, our plan is perfect.” Rini whispered mischievously and Akira smiled.

TAGLIST IS CLOSED

🏷: @therealwalmartjesus @differentballooncollection @aaesuki @atsunflower @dope-squish @prettysetterboiss @june-phantom @tomo-uwu @austriasmariazelle @xrnia @katsulia @aprettyfruit @shut-your-eyes-kiss-me-goodbye @tvbiio @sun-daddy-yoriichi @kamenoyaki @ppangiiroo @loeyprivvv @kmskj92 @lovinnoya @sarahvvictoria @tris-does-stuff @mokkeguts @sunaluvr6969 @bara-rose-would @sempiternal-amour @volleybloop @leykyuu @bokutoichigo @stfucanunot @iloveanime69 @tpwkatsumu @ohshirabu @shoutosimp @mqrinqcele @bokutosdivineass @anngelllla @toworuu @hidden-otaku-stuff @seijohiselite @caxsthetic @aquariarose @hhwanggu @bakuhoetoedoroki @yoozuku @osamus-onigiri @akaashi-todorki @donica95 @kakaokenma @airheadpillar

[leossmoonn]

Confessions [Stefan Salvatore]

masterlist 

pairing - stefan salvatore x fem!reader

type - fluff, lil angst

note / request - “hi i just wanted to say absolutely loved your recent stef imagine🥰🥰can you write more of him? if you’re up for it!! also one where maybe like they’re always teasing and bickering because they like each other <33″ YES AH I LOVE STEFAN. yall are gonna hate me SO MUCH in the ending. enjoy :)

summary - after a little teasing goes to far, you’re forced to tell stefan your real feelings for him

warnings / includes  - mild language, suggestive language. italics are your thoughts 

————

*gif isn’t mine* 

“Stefan!” You exclaimed. 

Stefan rolled his eyes. “I had him!”

“No, you didn’t!” You shouted. “God, why can’t you just let me do my job! Why do you have to be such a control freak.”

“Cause I’m the one who made the plan,” Stefan said. 

“Yeah, and it was literal dog-shit. I was about to stake him!” You said, putting your hands up in the air in exasperation.

Stefan rolled his eyes. “You should be thankful. You would’ve been toast if I didn’t come in.”

You clenched your jaw. “I’ll make you into toast.” You went to lunge at him, but arms pulled your back quickly. You kicked your feet in the air, trying to get out of the hold that Damon had you in. 

“Let me go! I need to kick his ass!” You exclaimed. 

Stefan smirked, “You’re human, you wouldn’t last one second.”

“We’ll see about that,” you said, managing to rustle out of Damon’s grip. 

“Stop it!” Caroline yelled. You looked at the blonde who had her fangs out, ready to get in between you and Stefan. 

“He started it!” You straightened up, pointing at Stefan.

“No, she did!” Stefan exclaimed. 

“You two are act like 5 year olds. Grow up. Y/n, you were about to die if Stefan hadn’t come in,” Caroline said. 

You scoffed, turning to your friend. “Really, Care?”

“See, told you,” Stefan snickered. 

“But,” Caroline started, looking to Stefan. “You should’ve trusted her. She's more than capable of handling herself.”

You smirked. “HA! In your face, Salvatore!”

Stefan rolled his eyes. “I just didn’t want you to get hurt. I can’t live without my best friend.”

You teasing smirk turned to a soft smile. “Aw, Stef, I always knew you cared about me.”

“Barely,” Stefan scoffed. 

“Oh, sure,” you giggled, walking up to him. “You adore me.”

“Only in some aspects,” Stefan said. “Oh, yeah? What are those aspects?” You smiled. 

“Like when you’re quiet,” Stefan smiled at you. 

Ouch.

You frowned, “Wow, so nice.”

“Well, you asked,” Stefan shrugged. 

“Hm, true. Alright well, I’m tired of getting my feelings hurts by a vampires so, I’m gonna go home,” you said, walking over to the door. 

“No, Y/n! Stay for dinner!” Elena begged.  “Nah, I’m okay. I have ice cream at my house,” you shrugged. 

“You sure?” Caroline asked. 

“Yeah. See you guys tomorrow,” you smiled and waved before exiting the Salvatore’s house. You sighed and went to your car, going in and heading home. Once you got home, you put on your pjs and opened a pint of cookies and cream ice cream. You turned on Criminal Minds and cuddled up on the couch. 

15 minutes into the episode, a knock on your door sounded. You paused the tv, getting up. You grabbed pepper spray and a knife you had hiding in a vase, going to the door hesitantly. 

It’s 10:50 PM. Who is at my door?

You peaked through your window, relaxing immediately as you saw Stefan. You put your weapons on a nearby table, opening the door. 

“Hey,” you smiled. 

“Hi,” Stefan smiled back. 

“What’re you, uh, doing here?” You asked. “I came bearing gifts. As an apology for being mean,” Stefan said, holding out a box of chocolates, a box of pizza, and some soda. 

“And I should forgive you, why?” You asked. 

“Because I’m your best friend and you love me?” He smiled. 

You pursed your lips, putting your finger on your chin. “Hm, well, I do love chocolate and pizza and soda. I also kind of consider you as a friend, too, so... sure. I forgive you.”

Stefan smiled. “Awesome. Can I come in and hang out for a bit?” 

“Sure,” you said, moving out of the way so he could step in. He stepped inside, slipping off his shoes and his leather jacket. 

“Whatcha watching?” He asked, walking into the living room. 

“Criminal Minds,” you said, walking in with him. 

“Ah, nice. The show doesn’t scare you?” Stefan asked. 

“Not when you’ve seen a vampire rip a person’s head off right in front of you,” you chuckled, taking your seat on the couch again. Stefan sat next to you, putting his arm on the top ledge of the couch. 

“Right,” he chuckled.

You sat back into him, putting your head on his chest. Stefan put his arm around you, pulling you closer to him. 

This was normal behaviour for you and him. You two had been best friends for the past 3 years since he came here. You two connected instantly. You were witty and teasing, which was something Stefan couldn’t help but be intrigued by and attracted to. After finding out he was a vampire, you two became closer. You learned all his secrets, everything about his childhood, and slowly fell in love with him. It was cliché, you knew, but it was true.

You had always been attracted to him, since day one. He was handsome, no doubt. He was also kind and dedicated to helping his friends and family, which was something you admired. You’re little crush on him stemmed from when he had saved you from Kol Mikaelson. Kol pushed you off the terrace after you tried to stake him, making you fall hundred of feet. You truly thought you were about to die, but Stefan Salvatore swooped in and saved you. From the moment he caught you in his arms, when you looked into his eyes, when your lips almost met, was the exact moment you knew you were starting to like him. The time you realized you were in love with him was when the teasing started. 

You two had been friends for about a good year or so. You two had always had a playful relationship. You two made it that way because you two liked each other and it was easier to be mean to each other than admit your feelings, but you two didn’t know that about each other. Anyways, the moment you fell in love with him was when he was helping you cook for you and your friends. You were trying to have a nice night without all the crazy. Stefan and you were cutting some vegetables up when you sliced your finger. You expected him to go all crazy, but really, he helped you out. When he was cleaning up the cut and wrapping the bandage around your finger, there was a moment when both your eyes met and a little voice in your head that said, ‘he’s the one you love and are gonna marry’.

It had shocked you, at first, and there was a period of time where you shut him out because you couldn’t deal with your feelings. But you soon realized that you couldn’t live without your best friend and that if you weren’t gonna confess your feelings, you would at least keep him as a best friend. So, you two started to tease each other more and would bicker like an old married couple. Everyone seemed to notice your feelings for each other but you two. It was truly amazing, but you two seemed happy this way, so no one every really bothered you guys. 

“Wow, that’s not gross at all,” Stefan said, commenting on what was happening in the show. 

“Yeah. it’s kinda weird, but I’ve been watching this show for 10 seasons so, you know, I’m very used to it,” you shrugged. 

Stefan smiled down at you, admiring how pretty you looked all natural, hair in a bun, and in your pjs. He liked how focused you were on the show, even though mutilated bodies were being shown on the screen, very very up close. 

“I never would’ve pegged you for a criminal show type-of-girl,” Stefan said. 

“I’m full of surprises,” you grinned. 

“Yeah, I know,” Stefan smirked. You looked up at him, your eyes skimming his lips before gazing into his eyes. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You asked. 

“Nothing,” he shrugged. 

You started to yawn, putting your attention back on the tv. 

“You should get some rest. You had a big day,” Stefan said. 

“No, I wanna stay up and be a rebellious teen!” You exclaimed.

“You’re 18. You’re not a teen anymore,” Stefan chuckled. 

You smiled, “True. But hey, you are! Aren’t you, like, 17?” You asked, looking back up at him. 

“Yeah, but I’m also 165 years old,” he said. 

“Haha, you’re still younger than me. I order you to go to your room and sleep. Oh, and you can’t talk back to me,” you giggled, teasing him. 

Stefan rolled his eyes, “Ha-ha, you’re so funny.”

“Stefan Antonio Salvatore! Do not talk back to me!” You exclaimed, getting up from the couch. “Go to you room!”

Stefan stood up with you, towering over you. “How about I take you with me?”

You looked into his deep, green eyes. Your breath hitched, your heart racing to the point where you thought you were going to have a heart attack. Stefan took your hand in his, lighting your skin on fire. Heat rose up to your face, making you hide your face from his view so he didn’t see you blushing. But he put his other hand on your chin, lifting your face up and looking you in the eyes. 

Your eyes went down slowly to his lips, subconsciously licking your own at the thought of kissing him. Your eyes went back up to his, noticing his eyes on your lips, too. Stefan’s arm snaked around your waist, pulling you in so your bodies touched. You felt the warmth radiating off of him, wanting to stay there forever. And as much as you wanted to kiss him, you knew you couldn’t. You knew he didn’t like you like that, and this was one of his ways of teasing you. So, you pulled away, turning away from his once more. 

“You should, um, go. We’re both tired and stuff,” you said. 

Stefan frowned, wishing you would follow along with him, but he didn’t try again. He didn’t want to force you into anything, especially since he wasn’t too sure about your feelings for him. 

“Alright. I’ll go. I’ll see you later,” he said. 

You nodded, not looking at him. “Bye.”

You heard the door open, hearing Stefan mutter a ‘goodbye’. Once the door closed, you started to cry. Tears that were forming in your eyes fell, coming down like a waterfall. You put your fist in your mouth, trying to drown out the sound of your cries, not wanting to wake your mom. You went to your room, curling up on your bed and hugging your pillow. 

I wish I would’ve kissed him. 

————

You walked in Elena’s house, your mouth watering at the smell of bacon and eggs. 

“Hm, who’s cooking?” You asked. 

“Me,” Stefan smiled once you came around the corner. 

“Oh, great,” you said.  “Aw, come on, I apologized to you last night. Be nice,” Stefan said. 

“Being nice to do is the last thing on my to-do list,” you snorted. “Give me some eggs and bacon?” “Nope. Say sorry,” Stefan said. 

You rolled your eyes, walking over to Stefan and the stove. “In your dreams. Now, give me food, Stuffy,” you smiled, using a nickname you had made up for him. 

“Not a chance, Y/n/n,” Stefan smirked. 

You sighed and tried to grab the plate of bacon that was in his hand, but he held it up in the air. You huffed, jumping up and trying to get the plate from him. 

“Stefan, I’m hungry! I didn’t have an actual dinner last night. Please,” you begged, jumping up, barely touching the plate. 

Stefan put the plate down to your reach. You smiled, “See, I knew you couldn’t resist me.”

Right as you were about to grab the bacon, Stefan swiftly put the plate down, taking both your wrists in his hands. You fought against him, a big smile on your face. 

Caroline, Elena, and Alaric scoffed in the living room. 

“Are they ever gonna get together?” Alaric asked. 

“Sometimes it seems like it,” Caroline says. “And sometimes it doesn’t,” Elena sighed. 

“Why? They’re like, perfect for each other,” Alaric said, smiling a little when seeing Stefan scoop you in, spinning you around. 

“They’re so oblivious to each other’s love, it’s annoying,” Elena said. 

“And weirdly movie-like,” Caroline said. She sighed, looking at the two of you longingly. “I want what they have.”

“More like lack there of,” Alaric snickered. 

Elena hit his shoulder, going over to the kitchen.  “Okay, love birds, let’s eat. I’m starving,” Elena said.

Stefan let you go, your feet landing on the ground. 

“So you’ll listen to Elena and not me?” You asked. 

“Hm... yep,” Stefan smiled sweetly. 

“Rude,” you remarked, making your way to the kitchen table. 

Stefan brought over the food and you dug in. You all talked about a new plan to take out Klaus, which led to you needing to go back to your house to get some vampire-hunting supplies. 

“Mind if I go with you? Might be some heavy lifting I’ll need to do,” Stefan said. 

You rolled your eyes, “I’m strong enough, but sure. I could use someone to make it less boring.” You got up, putting on your shoes and jacket. 

“See you later, guys,” you smiled and waved to the rest of your friends. 

They waved back at you and Stefan followed you out to your car. 

“So, what’s the reason you wanted to go with me?” You asked, getting in your car. 

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “I’m bored.”

You snorted, shaking your head. “Okay, yeah, what’s the real reason.”

“I um... I wanted to talk about last night,” Stefan said. 

“Alright, but nothing happened. We did our little friendly-cuddle, you got all up in my personal space, and then you left and I went to bed,” you said. 

Stefan shook his head, “No, Y/n. That’s not what happened.”

You parked your car in your driveway, getting out and going into your house. 

“Then what happened, Stefan. Tell me,” you said, walking into your room and going into your closet. 

“Well, we did do our cuddle thing, but it definitely wasn’t friendly. We also almost kissed,” Stefan said, following you. 

“Sure, Stefan. You have a funny imagination, you know,” you said, getting out your box of weaponry. 

“We did, Y/n. Stop being in denial. I also know that you cried after I left,” he said. 

You looked up at him, scoffing and moving past him. 

He just wants to get under my skin.

“Y/n, this isn’t one of the times where you can just walk away and we forget about it. I’m serious,” Stefan said. 

Shit. 

“How do you know I cried?” You asked. 

“I... I heard you using my super-hearing through the door,” Stefan admitted. 

You shook your head, “Stalker.”

Stefan went up behind you, grabbing your forearm, causing the box you had to drop on the floor. He turned you to him, looking deep and hard into your eyes. 

“Let me go, Stefan,” you muttered through a clenched jaw. 

“No. Why won’t you talk to me about this?” He asked. 

“Be-Because I don’t want to. I have a right to not want to do anything, you know. Let me go!” You exclaimed, fighting against him. 

Stefan shook his head. “No. I want to know why you pulled away. We had a moment, Y/n, and we’ve always been having moments since we met. I... I don’t know if you are in love with me, like I am with you, but I felt something last night. I know you did, too. I saw in your eyes and I know that you were crying because you pulled away and you were upset. So, Y/n, why’d you pull away?”

You looked up at him helplessly. “I... I pulled away because I was scared.”

“Scared of what?” Stefan asked softly. 

“Scared of what would happen. I didn’t know if you loved me back. I was scared that if I kissed you, that I would lose our friendship. And as much as I wanted to kiss you, I can’t risk losing you,” you confessed. 

Stefan’s hands let go of your wrists, going over to your waist. He pulled you closer, your bodies touching once again. Your heart beat against your ribcage, making you more nervous than ever. You looked up at him, leaning in closer. 

“You’re in love with me?” You asked. 

“Yeah. Probably since we became friends,” Stefan said. 

“Me, too,” you smiled. 

“I figured after last night,” Stefan smiled. 

You chuckled, “Yeah.”

“So, are you gonna pull away now?” Stefan asked. He put his hand on your cheek, his hand staying on the small of your back. He looked into your eyes, waiting for your answer.

You shook your head with a smile. “No, not this time.”

————

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[nauticalparamour]

If you’re still taking prompts, #156 regulusXhermione? Also, I just wanted to say I love your writing! Thank you so much for sharing it :)

Aw, I am so happy to hear this, anon 🥰🥰 thank you for the prompt and sorry for the delay in getting to it!

Hermione looked up in surprise as her boyfriend of four months jogged into the living room, where she’d been waiting for him patiently, from his bedroom. She was a little annoyed at being kept waiting when he was the one who had insisted she arrive an hour early because his mother detested people who weren’t punctual.

“Regulus’s, what is the deal?” she demanded, seeing his father un-put-together state. He was still dressed in only a white undershirt and jeans, barefoot, his dark hair still wet from the shower. “You were the one who wanted to me to meet your family.”

“I know,” he said, a pained look on his face. “But now that is actually about to happen I feel like I’m going to hyperventilate.”

“Come on, Reg,” Hermione said, rolling her eyes. “I am sure that your family can’t be that bad.”

“Ha,” he answered humorlessly. “Can’t be that bad? Can’t be that bad? Sirius is a lush and a womanizer. My father is a paranoid freak. And Mother—“ he sucked in a deep breath “—is a harpy.”

Hermione stared at him with wide eyes, wondering where her normally confident boyfriend had gone and when he’d been replaced by this anxiety ridden pacer. Seriously, if he made one more pass through the living room she was certain he would wear a hole in the rug.

“Well, that sounds unpleasant,” she said, grimly. Maybe she shouldn’t have agreed to meet them all at once?

“But it’s okay because I’ve got a plan,” he told her his arms crossed over his chest. The pacing resumed.

“A plan?” Hermione repeated, skeptically.

“And I’m like 20% sure this plan will work,” Regulus continued, not having heard her. “The other 80% means we could die horribly and violently, but honestly it’s a really solid plan.

“Uh huh,” she said. “What exactly is the plan?”

He stopped and turned to look at her. “We don’t go,” he said with a frown. “Just tell Mother that we are sick and can’t go. Of course if she ever finds that I lied she will kill me, but I think we can pull it off.”

Hermione hopped up from her spot on the couch so she could stand in front of him. “Regulus!” she said, hoping to get his attention back on her. “Your family can’t do anything to scare me off. Not even if your brother drinks too much or your dad shows me an end of the world bunker or if your mum makes fun of me to my face about some fashion faux pax.”

“Really?” he asked, looking at her skeptically. “Because I think they are worse than you imagine. They have really horrible opinions and views — well, not Sirius, but he’s Sirius.”

“I promise,” Hermione repeated. “Do you share their opinions?”

“Well, no, of course not,” he scoffed.

“Then there is no way they could scare me off. Because I know that you are not your family,” she said with a smile. “Plus I love you too much now to let you go quite so easily.”

His smile went a bit dopey at her sudden confession. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her in for a quick kiss. “I love you, too,” he said, his voice sappy.

“Then go finish getting dressed so we can still show up on time for your family dinner,” Hermione ordered in her bossiest voice. “And I promise to fake a terrible migraine if you can’t handle it anymore so we can leave early.”