#this works on like every new leaguer except for Jon Kent bc he’s so used to carrying Damian that Bruce is actually less scary by comparison

[arkangelo-7]

Imagine being new to the Justice League and being assigned to Bat Carrying Duty.

Like, it’s the end of the battle and everyone’s getting ready to go back to the Hall of Justice for some ret-con or something, and Green Lantern turns to this terrified newbie and tells them to go pick up Batman. Why? Because the Bat-plane got hit and that bitch can’t fly, so he needs to get back to headquarters somehow.

And this poor baby superhero has to awkwardly go over to Batman and try to pick him up, all while Batman’s grumbling about the League’s incompetence and telling this kid not to touch his utility belt bc of they press the wrong thing it might explode. This kid then has to bridal-carry the fucking Batman across state lines, enduring what is the most painfully awkward silence in all of human history. And the whole time this newbie is praying that they don’t drop Batman bc that would piss Bat’s off and that in turn would piss Superman off—and that’s a recipe for disaster.

But then they finally get back to the Hall of Justice and the entire league is there laughing their assess off bc apparently getting assigned to carry around the League’s resident Scary Human is an initiation ritual/hazing thing.

And the kid is red in the face the entire time. Batman is unamused