#this will get bloody and sad

[kidovna]

manifested mileven at the snowball in 2016, so now I’m manifesting byler at senior prom🪻🌻

[dootznbootz]

I've been seeing some shit on how certain folks apparently think it's like, surprising that Penelope just accepted Odysseus and all the stuff he's done without question and/or disappointment in Would You Fall in Love With Me Again when like... Not only against Odyssey!Penelope but ALSO Epic's. We may have only gotten 2 songs it's still a concept album. THERE'S STILL TIME! of the real Penelope in Epic but like, even then we can see that she's equally as wild

[saint-hymn]

WIP - tommy, i-

part of the zombie au

[soni-dragon]

tw for eyes below cut

“wanna see what destruction looks like?” but 100x scarier

[canisalbus]

It's quite funny having followed you for years and years and knowing Machete as his dark, bloodied, cunning (and always on the edge of getting horribly murdered for his hubris) incarnation, and coming into 2024 and just... yeah he's gay now. Maybe he's even happy. Redemption at last... perhaps he DID get assassinated indeed and all those AUs are just his personal afterlife (does he get to go to Heaven? Seems so!)

.

[yo-kaiwatchkillyourfamily]

Hello good old people of the old tumble Would you like hear my Burger King dream? No?? tough luck. So my mother gave me £17 in like a short pocket that was on the front and not the side so I made my way over the Burger King to order my “plain big Mac with large fries and a large drink” (in real life my order will change ever so slightly to be a plain whopper with cheese and a large fries and drink) but I couldn’t get anything because like evil Super Mario world was to the left just straight up an evil version of Super Mario world like that was Mario and she was standing in a flashy room that was completely black except the floors that were a dark flashy red colour and the cashier was like” no no big Mac for you” so I had to go to another Burger King but guess who decided to wake up that right this and I ended up waking up at 5 o’clock in the morning which is extremely late for me for I normally wake up at two o’clock in the morning

[stiffyck]

people hating a character because they very clearly misunderstand them is forever going to make me so mad

[mars-ipan]

Mars i fear i may be dying of the plague. I have coughed blood into my sink twice now and my throat feels like I gave really aggressive oral to a scrubdaddy spongue.

Do you have any priest au thoughts/scenarios/rambles to sooth a troublde lad such as mysrlf🙏🙏

hemo. as a guy who has also coughed up blood somewhat recently. it may be time to go to an urgent care and make sure it’s nothing serious. there’s a pretty nasty pneumonia going around rn and if that IS what it is the sooner you get those antibiotics the faster you’ll recover.

as for priest au stuffs: the election kinda killed my creative flow (we’re ballin but we’re stressed) BUT i’ve been trying to flesh out hajime’s backstory a bit for the the past few days so here’s some bullet point brainstorming on that :D

check under the cut for the goods, as per usual ^_^ tw for mentions of child abuse, and also a general warning for priest au-typical horny talk and homophobia

i’ve been thinking abt hajime’s childhood/past a lot, partially bc i don’t feel fully confident writing him until i have the details of his backstory fleshed out. i think his dad was more of the aggressive “no son of mine” type of homophobic, where his mom was more of the “hate the sin love the sinner” type of homophobic. it’s cliché maybe but like. traditional catholic family values yanno. his family does differ from traditional catholicism in one way though: hajime is an only child.

i don’t think hajime was ever The Manliest Man growing up. yeah he was strong from helping on the farm, but he never felt the need to flaunt his masculine attributes. he never wanted to impress girls, he never initiated an arm-wrestling contest, and once he hit teenagerhood he quit wrestling with his friends altogether. when his friends asked him why he never roughhouses with them anymore, he tensed up and mumbled something about it being “weird” and “immature.”

he showed a lot of delicacy towards nature as well, a trait he carries into adulthood! rescuing turtles from roads, gently rehoming bugs, taking care not to step on wildflowers, that sort of thing. he was teased for this growing up :( he’d be compared to a disney princess and the like or just be called a pussy for Caring About The World Around Him. while he still loves nature and knows there’s nothing wrong with that, he does get embarrassed if his gentleness is pointed out— he’s anticipating some sort of reprimand.

been trying to think about hajime’s gay awakening. i imagine once he hit puberty he started having vague… thoughts. they weren’t attached to anyone but he kept it secret anyways since Lust Is A Sin and Masturbation Is A Sin Too and he’s not interested in growing hair on his palms or going blind (he later finds out that those are myths, but for now he heeds the tales), nor is he interested in the scolding he would get from his parents if they found out. from there we have two main options as i see it.

option A: in a parallel of the magazine he finds in Jabberwock, teen!hajime comes across some sort of gay porn. it’s completely accidental— he finds a mag or some other paraphernalia in a log or something, opens it, Realizes what is is, looks around for witnesses, and quickly stuffs it into his jacket. he’s not even sure why, but he knows he’s curious. as soon as he gets home he hides it between his mattress and his bedframe, and that night, when he’s sure his parents are asleep, he grabs a flashlight and starts to look through it. he doesn’t understand why he’s so fascinated until he realizes: he’s breathing heavily, hot in the face, absentmindedly rubbing his thighs together, and, most incriminatingly of all, he’s the hardest he’s ever been in his life. mortified, he shoves the magazine back under his mattress and tries his best to forget about what he saw, tossing and turning as he tries to calm down and go to sleep.

option B: hajime is really close with one of his peers. they’re childhood friends, and they’ve gotten along great forever. at some point, though, hajime starts feeling weird around him. not BAD weird, but… he’s nervous, and his skin seems to buzz whenever they touch, and his heart flutters when he makes his friend laugh, and… he can’t make sense of it all. not until he wakes up one night from a particularly vivid dream, chest heaving, skin covered in a thin sheen of sweat, and his sheets soiled with the evidence of his subconscious sin. he realizes what’s going on, and his heart sinks into his stomach. he does his best to ignore it, but it haunts him.

we could also combine these options and say both of these things happen, but idk yet. i like the loneliness of the porn but i also like the guilt of having to talk to your close friend and pretend you aren’t feeling confusing and frightening things for them.

hajime lives at home until his early adulthood, when he is Caught. if we went with option A for his awakening, then he comes home one day to find The Porn sitting on the kitchen table, its pages now crinkled from years of viewing, and his heart sinks into his stomach. he’s not sure how they found it— maybe his mom was cleaning his room and lifted his mattress? but it doesn’t matter— they Know now, and he has no way to explain himself.

if we go with option B, hajime is caught with that “good friend” of his. he had snuck in via hajime’s bedroom window, at a time they both were sure hajime’s parents would be asleep. unfortunately, hajime’s dad comes up to his room (hajime never learns the original intent of this visit) and opens the door to find his son, hair and clothes a mess, with the neighbor boy straddling his thighs, hands clearly paused in the middle of lifting up his son’s shirt. it’s silent for a bit, and the tension in the air is so heavy hajime feels like he can barely breathe. still, he breaks out of the stupor first, muttering a quiet “you need to go” to his friend without breaking eye contact with his father. the friend gets the message and bolts, leaving via the same window he came from. hajime is now alone with his father, so guilty and scared that he feels nauseous.

regardless of which of these events occurs, the outcome is the same. hajime’s father responds first, yelling and berating. hajime is terrified— he’s seen his dad mad, but never like this. never shouting obscenities and vile words at him. when told to explain himself hajime stumbles over his words, eventually landing on some variant of “i don’t know.” eventually, his father decides words aren’t punishment enough, and hajime gets the shit beat out of him for the first time in his life. he tries to defend himself, but he’s never been much of a fighter, and he doesn’t want to hit his dad, self defense or not. when his father finally storms off, his mother comes near, her eyes brimming with tears. she holds her arms out to hajime, tells her baby to come here. hajime, aching and bruised and perhaps with a freshly broken nose, collapses into his mother’s arms, silently crying into her shoulder as she pets his hair. she holds him close, rocking them from side to side, before she speaks. “oh, hajime, darling,” she starts, voice thick with tears and love, “i’m sorry. we’ve failed you, haven’t we? that’s why you’re doing this to us.” hajime’s stomach curdles at those words, and he quickly excuses himself, washing the blood off his face in the bathroom sink before he locks himself in his room.

regardless of the guilt he carries— he knew he was sinning, after all— hajime knows he is no longer safe at home. his father had never beat him like that before, and he doesn’t know that he would be able to walk away if it happened again. he doesn’t want to leave his mother, but he could tell that she was disgusted by him, too, her words still echoing in his mind. so, hajime packs as many of his things as he can fit into his suitcase, and the next day he leaves town, never letting himself look back. he job hops for a bit before he manages to get his house in Jabberwock— he got really, really lucky with the price of the property.

hajime hasn’t talked to anyone from his hometown since he left, and while he still has his parents’ landline number memorized, he doesn’t dare call. his dad’s probably disowned him, anyhow. sometimes he wonders how the people he grew up with are doing, but he can’t bring himself to go back. it’s not home anymore.

[stillprettyunoriginal]

Names are so vital. So important and held to who a person is and gods Claude who has known Jericho through being far closer to Simon than himself now; through Jericho and the taking of his FACE through having to take in the mind of bloody fucking Martin. If names bring power, what sort of humanity does it draw out of a person when they’ve seen you try on a good couple. Maybe I’m just in my own head about this but truly, there are versions and layers of learning and change to the Jericho we know now, and after a certain point? If we move past his childhood? Claude has been there for nearly all of them besides the tubs. When he lost Kassie there was someone else and this one hasn’t LEFT through his learning and hasn’t died through him stumbling into the world and overall at his side. He has truly been one of the people closest to him. One of the closest you could get, at the very least, when you wear the face of a tormentor and feel your gut twisted by their own memories of their hatred of you or how you her them, and you can’t remember a world without that hurt. I’m never going to heal from these two I swear it.

(also the taking of Martin’s face is destructive to my mental health rip someone please save me it ruins me every time I remember it, n WONDER he had brother issues dude)

[anotherfanaccount]

Given what we know of this drama. There will be no plot holes and loose ends.

Justitia dresses up and sends all the culprits to hell herself. Taegyu is going to get what he deserves soon. He gets the extra human world justice because he was that heinous.

And by dying Justitia fulfills Bael's annoying rule. Now the cleanup crew can preserve Bit Na's body. And Justitia will return. And Tae Gyu will see hell for real.

And then we can see Da On and Bit Na camping for real. The demon subunit join sometimes. Da On's found family and colleagues will join some days. And they'll live together till the end of their human lives happily and making sure the evils of the world get what they deserve.

[autisticrosewilson]

Throwing up thinking about how Jason probably wanted to be a doctor because Catherine died from an illness that they couldn't afford to treat and then he met Sheila who was a doctor and she never even tried to save him. And he couldn't save either of them in the end. And her last words were about how much he must have loved Catherine.

[saint-lajka]

Anyway last post about this. Today is Lajka rememberance day, not just "Lajka day". 'laika' is a bastardized appropriated spelling of her name, most slavic and eastern european countries using this alphabet spell it Lajka.

Lajka was not loved and cherished by everyone, she definitely was by a few, but she was a lab rat in the end and a tragic casualty of the space race and cold war and general American assault on all things slavic, russian or communist. If you're American or western, know that your country is to blame for her death. Feel at least a bit of guilt about it instead of taking yet another hero to slavic countries for yourselves, you have plenty. You guys are all for not appropriating cultures until the culture is slavic, and then you all act like it's fine, when most of you don't even know what Slavic means. She is not yours to mourn, she is not yours to cherish.

And at the very least spell her fucking name right.

[mortellanarts]

Hm.... Do you hear something?

Look at the details I put into this thang

[batsplat]

in the early days of his career, obviously before casey entered motogp, i wonder if he ever lay in bed before falling asleep, imagining scenarios of him and vale on the track…

https://www.tumblr.com/kwisatzworld/768392840044789760/speaking-of-meeting-with-all-the-colleagues

(link) unfortunately this ask only reached me after I'd already answered and scheduled the previous post, feat. embedded video and transcription, so those are 10-15 minutes of my life I'm not getting back. alas, we live and we learn

but actually, y'know what, it's been long enough since I've brought most of this stuff up... let's do a quick round up of the state of play with regards to young!casey's admiration of valentino. we know they shared some pre-2006 pressers (three pixel screenshot on the left is from assen 2004):

and here's casey chatting to valentino's crew chief jb while watching valentino, who's celebrating one of his many victories in 2005:

rocking up to one of valentino's podiums and chatting to his crew chief?? noticing. perceiving. thinking. ofc paddock gossip held that if valentino were to swan off to f1, jb might have looked to link up with the promising young australian kid. it was also rumoured that jb was interested in getting casey to yamaha, though that obviously didn't end up panning out (whether by valentino's hand or not)

and as extra confirmation that valentino and casey had a rapport of some kind during casey's year in 250cc (the phrase 'except maybe for one or two riders' is doing so much heavy lifting it would make atlas wince):

we also know that casey has been following valentino "with admiration" early in his career, from 125cc era onwards - which, well, this is going to leave an impression on him. and of course we can bring in what casey has said in general over the years about his respect/admiration for valentino:

(think it's always key to note with the autobiography that it was written at the lowest possible point of the vale/casey relationship - and some of casey's rhetoric inevitably reflects the immediacy of his emotions at the time)

of particular interest I feel is what he said about 2006 - that his respect had grown, that "at that moment I thought he was someone almost impossible to beat". obviously this is kind of a funny thing to say given that valentino rather memorably did not win the 2006 title, but you know what he means - on merit, valentino was the best rider that year and even getting it to a final round decider would have felt like a crazy accomplishment at certain stages of the season. the whole thing thing made valentino even more impressive in casey's eyes (which may be why casey was watching back the title decider and concluding valentino had been sabotaged by Big America)

as a little bonus, let's also quickly bring in some more documentation of their 2006 on-track encounters (plus a cameo from catalunya 2007):

how much of this is casey retroactively forming this narrative about 2006 vs stuff he already felt strongly at the time - who knows. but to return to casey's early assessment of valentino as a rider... I'll say it, I think it's very theoretically possible to be a fan of valentino ONLY because of what a great rider he is but... casey's only human. "great sportsman" "looked up to and aspired to be" "the sort of people I wanted to become like"... this isn't just about valentino winning a lot of races. I refuse to believe an eleven year old is watching 125cc valentino and only making notes on his corner entry technique, come on. though speaking of - casey saying in 2021 he thinks motogp would be better with valentino at the front of the field!! because at the end of the day, he isn't wholly opposed to valentino's particular brand of fun. he enjoys watching valentino even when he doesn't always like competing with him

and... well. to understand young casey, it's crucial you never forget just how much pressure he was under, how terrified he was of failing, how he had this immense burden on his shoulders. I agree with mr motomatters on this (and also here, plus here) --

-- like it was unfair and it was unbearable. and I think when you're in a situation like that, you have to tell yourself it's going to be worth it. casey feels like this had never been his dream, that it was his parents' dream - but he had been convinced that he wanted this, even if by his late teenage years he was beginning to doubt it (x, x). he had to believe there would be light at the end of the tunnel... that at the end of all of this, the political machinations would stop, the financial insecurity would fade - and everyone would give him the credit he deserved. that everyone would acknowledge how good he was. he had an image of his head of a version of the sport that never existed - that could never exist unless the world was a very different place indeed - but he needed to have that image to keep himself going during all the hardship and toil and turmoil. and in the midst of all that, the most prominent face of the sport (certainly after the retirement of his other hero, doohan) was a bloke who made riding look like so, so much fun. who always looked like he was having a fantastic time racing. if you're a teenager in that situation, don't you think you might start associating valentino with your hope for what the sport might one day do for you? how can you not look at what valentino was doing and hope your life might end up looking a bit more like that? not exactly the same - casey was always clear on how he didn't want to become the next valentino rossi. that's not who he was. but just... just fun. just that

and he arrives at the pinnacle of the sport and he's winning and he's enjoying his success... but he's still not happy. obviously the job security and the financial security will have made a massive difference, of course things are far better now. but you can have a secure job and a stable income and essentially be winning in all the ways that matter... and it still might not be enough to magically dispel your malaise. it probably won't be. you can still be stressed and frustrated and lonely... you won't just be fixed. all the hardship casey has gone through to get to where he was could not suddenly be erased - and he held the sport to a standard it was never going to meet. at the end of the day, if we're being honest with ourselves, valentino's behaviour towards casey ranks well outside of the top ten causes for casey's discontent in 2007. valentino cools off towards casey because he is a title rival - which casey recognises to some degree, but that doesn't mean he could accept it. what valentino does that year falls entirely within the realm of completely normal behaviour of a top level professional competitor (albeit one who indirectly benefited from the entire sport already adoring him)... it takes until laguna 2008 for valentino to meaningfully cross any line with his conduct - and if anything he's still perfectly willing to lay it on thick where the interpersonal charm is concerned in the run-up to that race. no wonder, then, that laguna feels like such a monumental betrayal. valentino might not have been the root cause for casey's relative misery, but he was certainly the most easily identifiable face of it. just like valentino may have once represented casey's hope, so now he symbolised casey's disappointment and disillusionment (further discussed here)

so where does all of this leave us... well, you're right, anon. casey at last got to "share the track with him in an enjoyable way", something he says he "would have wanted to do" in his early career... whether he's talking about competing with him in motogp in a way that could actually be FUN for him, or whether he's thinking of this kind of out-of-paddock leisure time activity... tbh, maybe there even was an element of wanting the latter - hardly unheard of back in the day, cf valentino and sete training together in 1998 at kr sr's ranch. and there's no particular reason why something like qatar 2007 wouldn't have been an enjoyable experience to casey, given he himself gave glowing reviews of valentino's post-race conduct on that particular occasion. (or indeed something like catalunya 2007, for all casey's insistence that he didn't even particularly rate his own performance in that race... it's possible to make yourself miserable even when everyone's praising you and your hero is hailing you as a god - if the voice in your head telling you that you could have done better can never shut up.) in 2007, casey described the early season as 'fantastic' but felt it was no longer so once valentino 'stopped talking' to him... surely it will have been more than valentino's behaviour that could make casey feel so differently. in any casey, whether casey wanted more fun in motogp itself or outside of it - what matters is that he wanted to share something enjoyable on a track with valentino. once upon a time

when casey visits the ranch, a part of him is thinking back to a time when he could have imagined few things sweeter than that sort of recognition and acceptance from his hero. for all of casey's resentment and bitterness towards valentino, for all that he knows how unpleasant life can be as valentino's designated foe, he has always understood the joy that valentino represents within the sport - precisely because that emotion has so often been alien to him. maybe he really did dream of having that kind of fun on the track, imagine it in bed before falling asleep - like valentino, with valentino. when casey goes to the ranch, he is met with unconditional recognition and acceptance on valentino's part. valentino has all in all never been particularly shy in acknowledging casey's talents... it's not just anyone he'd say was 'riding like a god'. still, of course he was a little more careful with casey back in the day, committed first and foremost to figuring out this tricky new puzzle, to besting casey in competition... now, by contrast, valentino can let casey know how much he respects him without any reservation - and casey is ready to listen to what valentino is saying. it's bittersweet because it's what casey always would have wanted. and it's also come too late

[writer-rider-flirty-thirties]

I reread The Black Games trilogy and I realized I never truly finished the last two chapters of the third installment (despite reading the whole triology at least five times) and y'all...

It rocked me emotionally.

Anyways, I love the trilogy so much and I'm so happy I finally got to finish it!

(also, it has my favorite OCs ever!!!)

[citrine-elephant]

leon kennedy, but he's having a really good night. for once in his life, things are peaceful. he's just had a nice get together/date with chris... and a few others of course. but the way those two couldn't shut up... couldn't stop kicking each other under the table...

leon's on his way back to his lonely place when he's caught completely off guard and pulled into an alley.

the one time he lets his guard down, and he finds himself swinging fists, and another swung into his head. he's not out for long, but by the time he registers that he's been, or being robbed, he's kicked in the stomach. the face. and they're gone.

one good night. can never have one good night, can he?