#this will be my first actual vacation since….2018?

[iki-teru]

I am about to embark on a multiple day, cross country road trip in a car with my parents, brother, and 2 year old child.

Please watch this space for lots of yelling so I don’t murder a family member.

[supernovafics]

series masterlist | last part — next part

pairing: modern!college!steve harrington x fem!reader, bestfriend!eddie munson x fem!reader

word count: 3.6k words

warnings: explicit language, mentions of alcohol/drinking

summary: growing closer to steve during the trip was pretty much inevitable, but it still surprises you how easily it happens

CHAPTER THIRTEEN | ❝𝒊 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆❞

Summer 2017

“Does that make sense?”

“I’ll be honest, not really, no.” 

It was dark in the small motel room and you both were facing each other. Your eyes had long adjusted to the dark, so you were able to vaguely make out Eddie’s face and the small smile pulling at his lips. 

“Okay, let me try to phrase it this way. You know that feeling you get when your heart drops?” He asked.

You nodded then. “Mhm, yeah.”

“That’s pretty much what it’s been like.” 

Your eyebrows furrowed. “So, you’re saying that this entire road trip has felt that way for you?”

“Yeah.”

“But, that’s the worst feeling ever.”

“No, sometimes it’s good. Like, when you're on a rollercoaster.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” You said, eyes falling shut just for a second before you opened them again and let out a laugh when you thought about something. “Y’know, when I asked how you've been feeling lately, I initially expected just a simple good or bad.”

“That would've been a boring answer,” He answered. You weren’t looking at him anymore, instead you were lying on your back and staring up at the ceiling, but you could still hear the smile in his voice. “So, how have you been feeling lately?”

“Good,” You answered. “And I’m okay with my answer being a boring one because I’m too tired to think of a better way to say it.”

You heard Eddie laugh. “Understandable.” 

You turned on your side again and faced him. He was still smiling and you smiled back. He’d been happy a lot lately, which was nice to see.

“Glad to know you’re doing good, though.”

You gave him a quick nod. “You too.”

This was the first time that you couldn’t block out the thought; the realization that you still liked him.

It didn’t surprise you at all. Instead, it annoyed you. Because there was still no way that you could admit it to him and it all still felt so hopeless. Only a month had passed since his breakup with Chrissy, and although he seemed better about it now, the thought of confessing anything to him felt like the dumbest idea ever.  

You pushed the realization away, trying to forget about it completely because you didn’t want it to ruin what was left of the road trip for you. Especially since there were only a handful of days left of it. 

“You falling asleep?” Eddie asked, pulling you out of your thoughts. 

“A little bit, yeah,” You said softly, letting your eyes slip shut. It actually wasn’t that much of a lie. “Which is weird because I’m usually never the first one to fall asleep.”

“First time for everything.”

“Yeah,” You said, voice still quiet as you turned away from him again. “Goodnight.”

“‘Night.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

Spring Semester 2018

Sunday quickly became your favorite day of the trip. It was the only day that ended up feeling like an actual vacation.  

You and Steve decided to order in breakfast because neither of you could really bother getting out of the room, or even out of bed— especially you. Your body was still aching after experiencing the most intense hike that you’d probably ever been on, even though it had been deemed as “beginner-friendly.” 

You managed to get out of bed when the food showed up and Steve decided to set it up on the table outside on the balcony— everything about the room was too nice and too big, even the balcony. 

You expected to spend the majority of the day with Steve’s parents, and you were mentally preparing yourself for that inevitability as you ate breakfast. But then his dad was calling and Steve was pulling his phone out of his pocket and proceeding to talk to him inside for the next few minutes. 

“I just got us out of going on an all day boat ride with my parents and aunt and uncle,” He told you when he returned, walking over to you and pocketing his phone back in the basketball shorts he was wearing. 

“How did you do it?” You had asked as you took another bite of fruit from the bowl that he ordered. 

He sat back down across from you. “I said that you get seasick easily.”

“Solid excuse.”

“We do have to meet them for dinner, though,” He said and you nodded at his words because you were completely okay with doing that. 

You two spent the rest of the morning in your room, on the balcony specifically, and then you were suggesting that you go to the beach because the weather was too good not to and the view of it from the balcony also made it look really nice. Hours were spent out there in the sand and in the prettiest blue water until the heat became too unbearable and you found yourselves back in the room until the sun went down. 

Even the dinner with his parents got canceled because, after the boat ride, they were too exhausted to do anything else; apparently, there had been a lot of snorkeling involved. So, you and Steve had dinner alone and then ended up at one of the bars on the resort that was having a karaoke night. There was something about watching drunk people on vacation doing karaoke that was very amusing to both of you. 

You were the one that tipsily suggested that you two play rock, paper, scissors, and whoever lost had to go up and do a song, and Steve was laughing as he agreed. You lost on the tiebreaker third round but ultimately refused to follow through with the punishment because you weren’t near drunk enough to go and sing something and not throw up from embarrassment. 

“You still owe me a song,” Steve reminded you now as you two sat by the pool. “Or did you forget about last night?”

You didn’t even have to look at him to know he was smirking at you. You instead took a sip from the drink in your hand— the lemonade that he had actually gotten for you barely ten minutes ago. The weather was hotter than yesterday, but the umbrellas covering your and Steve’s long lounge chairs made it actually feel okay, and the drink was helping too. And then there was the added fact that today was your last full day here that made you want to stay out by the pool for as long as you possibly could. 

Steve had been the one to suggest the pool day idea when you two woke up and you immediately agreed. And then, barely two hours later, alternating between actually being in the pool and wasting away next to it in two lounge chairs was where you found yourselves after having breakfast with his parents and one of his aunts and older cousin. You two had purposefully acted extremely smitten at breakfast— chairs pushed close together, hands held, an arm draped around your shoulders at one point, and yours circling his torso at another— so no one asked to join you; surprisingly, not even his mom. It seemed like the idea of you and Steve being a perfectly happy and serious couple was fully sold, and you felt relieved. 

You set the drink in your hand down and then finally looked at Steve. “I didn’t forget about last night. But, that song is never gonna happen. I don’t stand by the things done or said by my past drunk self.”

“You weren’t even drunk then.”

“Tipsy still counts.”

He laughed a bit, slightly adjusting the sunglasses he was wearing, a fancy-looking pair of black Ray-Bans. “That’s the shittiest excuse.”

You knew that it was but you still stood by it. “I have no idea why I suggested the karaoke thing. You can have anything else for winning rock, paper, scissors.”

Steve nodded and things were quiet just for a moment before he was asking, “What are you reading?”

You looked down at the book in your towel-covered lap. It was a short novel, barely two hundred pages, and you were only a few chapters in. “It’s something for one of my classes.”

“Read to me.”

For a second, you simply looked at him with an amused smile on your face. And then you were saying, “Seriously?”

He shrugged. “Yeah, there’s really nothing else to do. And you said I could get anything else I wanted.”

You gasped dramatically. “Holy shit, is this the moment where I finally turn you into a person who doesn’t hate books?”

Steve gave you a playful smile. “It is. This is your one shot.”

You let out a laugh as you rolled your eyes and then met his gaze. You fought the urge to reach over the few feet that separated the two of you and steal his sunglasses for no other reason than you wanting to see his stupid brown eyes. 

You and he had grown closer over the last couple of days, which shouldn’t have surprised you because, with the set of circumstances that you two were in, it was kind of inevitable. But still, you were pretty surprised about how much more you two felt like actual friends. It was a friendship that you had a feeling you’d really miss once all of this was done and over. 

Pushing your thoughts away from that for the time being, you gave him a brief catch-up on everything that had happened in the book so far and then you picked up where you left off, reading out loud for him. It felt a bit awkward at first, you couldn’t remember the last time you read a book to someone or even just read out loud, but then you were falling into a sort of rhythm and you felt perfectly fine. 

Eventually, you two moved back into the pool— it was too hot not to. Steve got all of the way in and you simply sat on the edge with your legs in so that you didn’t get the book wet. Everyone else in the pool probably thought you two looked insane, you reading out loud to him, but it was hard to really care or even feel all that weird about it. 

Steve moved closer to you, crossing his arms and resting them on your thighs. You told yourself that the sudden jolt you felt was from his cold and wet arms abruptly touching your dry skin, nothing else. This wasn’t that far off from any other time you two had touched— holding hands or keeping one another close with arms draped around each other. However, there was something about this moment that felt the tiniest bit different from the others because this moment wasn’t for show.

Or maybe it was. Actually, you quickly figured that it definitely was because his parents could technically pop up at any minute, so it would be good to just keep looking completely infatuated with each other. Right? Yeah, of course. 

Steve turned his head and rested it on his folded arms. 

“Are you still listening?” You asked, stopping in the middle of the sentence you’d been reading. His damp hair was dripping onto you but you didn’t even mind it all that much. 

“Of course.” 

You stole his sunglasses then, putting them on for a second before pushing them up and letting them sit on the top of your head. 

A part of you wished that you could just stay stuck here in this moment— in this entire weekend, actually. Where things weren’t complicated and you were basically living a life that was much easier than your actual one. Where your thoughts and feelings toward the Eddie situation were tossed to the side for the time being, and where you didn’t have to preemptively stress over the questions you knew that everyone would have when you eventually told them that you and Steve were “broken up;” you were still in the middle of working out a story that you hoped would make enough sense to them. 

You knew that going back to reality would suck and it was nice to push your mind away from it all, even just for a short amount of time. You were good at that— avoiding certain thoughts and problems. If you weren’t overthinking, you were probably avoiding.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

“Stop, there’s no way that you actually think that’s gonna happen,” You said as you shook your head. It was that head shake that made you realize that the half-empty glass of champagne you had sitting next to you at this table was doing its job. 

There was an amused smile on Steve’s face as he simply said, “Why not?”

“He can’t die. He’s the son. It would make no sense for him to die,” You said with another head shake and another reminder that you were the tiniest bit tipsy. Talking about a book with Steve in the middle of a wedding reception wasn’t exactly where you expected the night to go— especially since it was him who brought it up in the first place— but you liked it just the same. 

“Yeah, exactly,” He told you. “That’s exactly why it would happen. Right as he and the dad finally get their relationship to a good place, boom, he dies.”

You refused to believe that Steve could possibly be right; even if his words did kind of, sort of, maybe make sense.  

“You’re insan–” You weren’t even able to finish your words before he was abruptly kissing you.

It was entirely unexpected and also entirely unlike the moment barely two days ago when he gave you the quickest peck that quite literally felt like nothing. This one reminded you a lot more of your date with him— that first and only date barely a month ago where he kissed you and for the briefest second it actually felt right. 

In this moment, Steve had one hand on your cheek and he was moving in quickly, but his lips were still softly finding yours; it seemed entirely contradictory but somehow he managed to do it so smoothly. 

Your heart did a weird thing— a sudden drop that surprisingly didn’t feel all that scary and made you think about that conversation in that motel room with Eddie, a moment that felt like forever ago. And then all you could think was why the hell were you thinking about that moment in this one? 

This was more than just a simple peck, but still, you had no time to really process it before Steve was pulling away, lips finding your cheek instead and then lingering by your ear. To say that you were completely sobered up would be an understatement. 

“Sorry for the no warning. My mom was walking past and looking our way, and I wanna sell this as much as we can before we end things.”

“Mhm, got it, no problem,” You said softly, and then before he could potentially question your sudden shyness and whatever else was happening with you right then, you continued. “You wanna dance? That’ll probably really sell it, and this is a good song for it too.”

You didn’t recognize the song playing, but it was slow; a soft guitar melody that you two could easily move together to. 

Steve pulled away from your ear then, meeting your eyes and nodding. “Sure, yeah, that’s a good idea.”

You finished what was left of the champagne in your glass and then set it down on the table before standing up. Steve led the way and you followed him onto what was probably the most lively dance floor you’d ever seen at a wedding. The number of people who danced and genuinely looked like they were having a good time when more upbeat songs were being played during the first hour and a half was actually surprising to you. And even at this moment, there were so many couples paired up on the floor and swaying to the soft song. 

Your hands came up to rest on Steve’s shoulders and then linked at the nape of his neck, and his circled your waist and settled at the small of your back. You could feel the warmth of his touch through the silky fabric of the dress you were wearing; or maybe that was in your head. Either way, with how close you and him were right then, everything was weirdly starting to feel a bit too real and serious, so you quickly decided to bring up the first thing that you could think of. 

“Your mom does hate me, by the way. You were right about that.” 

Steve’s eyebrows furrowed. “She said that to you?”

“Not outwardly, but I could read between the lines,” You responded. “I forgot to tell you, but it happened when she asked me to go to the gift shop with her before the hike on Saturday. She mentioned that you and I look happy together, and it seems like I make you happier than Nancy did, which is good. But, she also implied that I’m only “good” for you for now and definitely not forever because I’m not a certain kind of girl from a certain kind of family. I’m guessing certain means rich.”

“I’m sorry,” He said and he sounded so genuine about it that you weren’t sure if he was apologizing for his mom’s words or for something else entirely. 

You shook your head anyway. “No, it’s okay. It’s good, honestly, because it means that this is working. She believes that we’re— well, more specifically, you— are happy and in love and in a great relationship. So once you tell her that we broke up because I cheated or whatever, she’ll believe that you’re actually heartbroken about it. This is definitely gonna work for you.” 

“This should’ve worked for you too. I still don’t get why it hasn’t,” Steve said, shifting the conversation to what you really didn’t want to talk about, but, of course, he didn’t know that. “I can tell that Eddie likes you. It just doesn’t make sense why he hasn’t admitted it to you yet.” 

“It’s okay. It’s fine,” You said and shrugged like it was truly no big deal, even though it was and you’d been trying for the past week to convince yourself that it wasn’t. “Doesn’t matter, honestly.”

Steve gave you a look that was too hard to decipher. “I feel bad, though. This whole thing was for you.”

You didn’t say anything in response to that and instead focused on the music playing; the current song started to fade out and it transitioned into another one that sounded similar. 

You knew that this was when you should’ve been honest with him. You should’ve finally told him about the conversation you had with Eddie; the rejection that you’d been trying hard to avoid thinking about because you just wanted to move on from it. 

“Maybe I can say something to him,” Steve started before you could potentially admit any part of the truth. “Tell him that I can tell that he likes you, and then maybe it’ll all finally click into place for him and–”

You were shaking your head and interrupting him mid-sentence. “No, stop, there’s no way you’re doing that.” The thought of that happening made your heart drop and that one was not in a good way. “Seriously, Steve, it’s okay that this whole fake dating thing didn’t work for me.”

You could tell from the look on his face that he was going to try and debate your words, maybe even try to convince you that his idea was a good one, so you pulled away from him and quickly walked off before he could say anything. A part of you wanted to leave this banquet hall that the reception was in and head back to your and Steve’s room. Simply wallow for the rest of the night and continue to forget and push away everything that you didn’t want to think about. It was a walk that you knew would take less than five minutes, even with the slightly uncomfortable shoes you were wearing. 

Instead, though, you sat back down at the table that you and Steve had been occupying throughout the night because that felt a thousand times less dramatic. 

Steve joined you after a second, once again sitting down in the chair across from you. “Hey, I’m sorry. I promise I’ll stop bringing it up.” 

You shook your head, more so at yourself than at him. “I’m sorry too. For walking away from you back there; that was shitty. It’s just…” You trailed off, still unable to say the words, the truth. Ultimately, you shrugged. “I don’t know. Whatever. It’s okay.”

The only thing you wanted to do right then was end that part of the conversation entirely— no more talking about you and what worked and what didn’t work and whatever else. 

Before Steve could say anything, you were leaning in and kissing him. It lingered longer than just a simple peck, but it was still quick; it was basically a repeat of what he did to you barely ten minutes ago. When you pulled back, you could tell that he was surprised by the abruptness of it.

“That was just in case your parents were watching us,” You said as you let one of your hands find his, trying to look like that “happy couple” again. “Don’t want them to think that we’re mad at each other or something for leaving the dance floor abruptly.”

He nodded, throwing on the sweetest and most charming Steve Harrington smile that you’d probably ever seen. “Good thinking.”

“Thank you,” You responded with the quickest nod. “Now can we please just drink more champagne and have fun on our last night here? No talk of anything else.” 

He gave you a real smile then. “Yes, cheers to that.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

next part!

taglist (lmk if you want to be added or taken off<333); @eddiernunson , @loulouloueh , @the-aster , @blckburd , @totally-bogus-timelady , @yujyujj , @irhdifartzamfyaa , @mochminnie , @munsonssweets , @blckbrrybasket , @xprloki , @definitionwanderlust , @dwcode , @sun-fiower-seed , @keerysfolklore , @damon-loves-pie , @lodeddiperrodrick , @bisexual-and-intellectual , @munsonburn3r , @negomi123 , @khena , @facexthexsunshine , @seatbacksandtraytables , @suckerfordylansstuff

(if your user is crossed out it means i can’t tag you</3)

[lemoncrushh]

Connect

Summary: Not wanting to lose their connection, Lily takes a surprise trip to see Harry.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3.4k

A/N: Real Harry x OC, written in first person. This is the last of my writings from 2019 (technically the first one since I'm reposting backwards). Obviously, this was heavily based on Live on Tour. I think I was just testing the waters then after having taken a break from fics. The only thing I focused on in 2018 was a longer fic which will come later. So next, I'll be reposting the one shots from 2017.

“I miss you,” he said, his voice raspy and weary.

“I miss you, too.”

“I wish you were here with me,” said Harry. “I know you didn’t wanna be, cause it’s crazy, but-”

“I never said I didn’t wanna be,” I interrupted.

“Well, you can’t. And I get it.”

With a sigh, I rolled over onto my stomach as I gnawed on the inside of my cheek. The truth was, I wanted to be with him more than anything. I just felt like it was too soon. We’d only started dating a few months before he left for the tour. Things had been such a whirlwind then, that it was a wonder we’d managed to actually become a thing. I’d worried that we’d moved too fast, and when Harry had asked me to consider flying out for some of the shows, I’d hesitated. In the end, I’d told him I couldn’t do anything on short notice since I didn’t have vacation time yet and my job was still relatively new. But I promised I would make plans to be with him for his final show in Los Angeles. He’d said he understood, but each time we talked on the phone, he seemed to miss me more and more. It broke my heart to say the least.

“I just don’t think I can-“

“Lily,” he interrupted this time. “It’s okay. Let’s change the subject.”

That night when I went to bed, I thought about our conversation. Though the rest of it had been sweet and light-hearted, I had felt the weight of Harry’s tone. He wasn’t mad, or even upset, but I could tell he was having a hard time concealing his emotions.

Throwing the covers off of me, I hopped out of bed and grabbed my laptop. Like the word nerd I was, I googled.

Emotion. Noun. A natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others.

Relationship. Noun. The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.

Harry and I were connected. I knew it from the moment we met. Not to sound cheesy, like it was some grand scene of kismet in a rom com, but I’d felt something that first day.

Literally, it had been my first day at my new job. After years of trying to be a writer and applying for any kind of position that was remotely associated with writing, taking jobs as a receptionist at a local fluff newspaper and a data entry operator in the accounting department of a publishing company, and even working behind the counter at a bookstore, I’d finally landed my dream job. Well, not so much dream as it was...how shall I put this...the bottom of the totem pole at a company I wanted to work for. Everyone’s gotta start somewhere, right? So what if I was pouring coffee and scheduling meetings and *cough* picking up dry cleaning? I was working for an amazing magazine. No, I wasn’t writing anything yet, but I was finally getting somewhere!

The stars must have been aligned that day. Being the “new girl”, I was led around the office by my boss as she introduced me to everyone. We’d just made it past the editing department when Candace, my boss, lifted her cell to her ear with a frown.

I didn’t understand the conversation, especially with only hearing one side of it, but I certainly caught the words “Harry Styles” and “lunch interview” followed by a few expletives. My breath stilled, and I’m pretty sure my heart did too. Trying to act casual as Candace returned her phone to her pocket, I blinked several times and shifted the weight between my feet.

“Lily,” she turned to me. “I know it’s your first day and you barely know your way around here, but I need a favor.”

I nodded. “Of course.”

Her expression relaxed as she gave a gentle smile. “Congratulations. You get the opportunity no one else has ever gotten on their first day.”

I wasn’t sure why I’d agreed to it, other than the fact that I’d wanted this job more than anything, and impressing Candace was my top priority. But to say I was a nervous wreck as I rode next to her in her BMW to a restaurant so luxurious I’d only ever dreamed of dining there, was an understatement. Apparently Candace’s head writer had gotten into an accident on the freeway that morning and was unable to get to the interview on time. That meant either sending someone else to have lunch with Harry Styles or going herself. Deciding quickly on the latter, and because it was my first day as her personal assistant, I got to tag along, notebook in hand. Well, not exactly in hand. It was in my bag. But you get the idea.

I hadn’t really known what to expect, both in meeting Harry and in getting to eat lunch at this particular restaurant, but within ten minutes I got the answers. The restaurant, while swanky with a limited menu, still felt like any other restaurant I’d been to, albeit upscale. Cloth napkins, iced water in big glasses that looked like they were more for wine or brandy, and tinkly piano music to complete the ambience. And as for Harry Styles...well let’s just say, he was the coolest person I’d ever met. And I don’t mean cool as in too cool for me, or too cool for school. I mean he was so completely down-to-earth that I immediately felt at ease. Sure, my insides were a mess, my heart beating out of my chest and my stomach doing somersaults, but despite that, he didn’t come off as a “celebrity”. He was charming and funny and easy to talk to. And because I was Candace’s assistant, you would think he’d only direct his answers to her. But he looked over at me several times with a sexy, easy grin and made sure he included me in the conversation.

Once Candace got up to take another phone call, and I was left alone with Harry. Afraid I might say or do something stupid, I looked at the notes I had written down. Candace of course had recorded the conversation on her phone with Harry’s permission, so I wasn’t quite sure why she’d had me take notes too. But such is the job of an assistant, I presumed.

After a moment or two of silence, Harry said something, though it took me a second to realize he was addressing me.

“Sorry?” I looked up from my scribbles.

“Is the interview done?” he asked, his eyebrows raised.

“Um...I don’t think so,” I stumbled.

“Then why are you looking at that? I’m right here.”

My heart plummeted to my stomach, and I thought I might vomit the salad I’d just eaten.

“Sorry,” I mumbled as I shoved my notebook into my bag, my face no doubt red from embarrassment. I wanted to crawl under the table...on the other side of the restaurant.

Suddenly Harry laughed. A good, hearty laugh. I looked up at him to see the little crinkles next to his eyes as he chuckled, dimples dipping in his cheeks.

“Loosen up, Lily,” he said.

It took me a second, and a shake of my head, to remember that he knew my name. But the fact that he’d remembered it after only learning it once briefly when Candace had introduced me was another thing entirely. And...was he teasing me?

“Excuse me?” I asked.

“I’m just giving you a hard time. You seem very nervous.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” he smiled. Then he gestured toward where Candace had walked off. “Is she hard to work for?”

I relaxed, exhaling and placing my hands in front of me. “Truth?”

“Of course.”

“It’s my first day.”

A grin spread across Harry’s handsome face. Just then Candace emerged from the hallway headed back to our table. Harry quickly and simply leaned over towards me, covering my hand with his.

“You’re doing great,” he whispered.

And that’s when I knew.

Okay, it’s not when I knew we were meant to be together or would fall in love or any of that. But I felt connected. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but it was something.

I hadn’t gotten another assignment quite like that one again. At least not yet. Most of my job consisted of running errands and getting coffee, although I did get to see and greet a few celebrities here and there. But when Harry’s interview was printed, I received a bouquet of flowers. Lilies.

Harry and I laughed about it for days after he called to ask me out. We both agreed it was cheesy, but he admitted he liked the cheese. I’d fallen for it, after all. Sucker.

Emotion. Noun. A natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others.

I stared at the screen, reciting the definition over and over. Harry and I were in a relationship. He was far away and it would be a long time before he returned. How could I not feel any emotion about it? How could I not consider his feelings as well? How could I keep pretending I didn’t miss him more than anything? How could I possibly keep this amazing relationship alive if I wasn’t willing to try to put more effort in re-establishing our connection?

Connect. Verb. Bring together or into contact so that a real or notional link is established.

Indeed.

With one or two more clicks of the mouse, I found myself on an airline website. Then opening a second tab, I brought up another website and searched for Harry Styles tickets. Flipping between the two sites, I chose a concert on a Saturday and managed to find a decent price for a flight. I figured I could fly out on Friday and be back by Sunday. I wouldn’t even have to miss work. A few clicks later, and I’d made my purchases. I was going to see Harry.

It had been a while since I’d been to a concert. Despite being a huge fan of music and having my own list of favorites, I hadn’t been inside an arena in at least a few years. My ears were already ringing from the noises around me, fans eager for Harry to take the stage.

I had a seat near the B stage. I hadn’t known what that meant until I’d bought my ticket and began to watch fan videos on YouTube. During the middle of the show, Harry stepped off the main stage and walked the gauntlet so to speak, screaming fans on either side, and made his way to a second smaller stage near the back of the arena where he performed a few songs acoustically. I’d watched several videos so far, and this was probably my favorite part of the show. It seemed so intimate, like Harry was giving his audience a special little piece of himself. Sometimes he’d throw in a little banter which made me giggle and remind me why I liked him so much.

I’d also seen fans giving him flowers. I thought that might be a little presumptuous and perhaps even ridiculous, not because he didn’t deserve them, but because...what if he didn’t take them? Or what if they got crushed in all the excitement? The poor girl spent her money on a bouquet for nothing. But I reckoned I’d take my chance. And if nothing else, we’d have a laugh over it later.

No, Harry didn’t know I was coming. It was a surprise. We’d even talked on the phone the night before after I’d landed and was snug as a bug in my hotel bed. He hadn’t a clue.

When the lights went out, I immediately felt the excitement the rest of the arena did. I even laughed and hugged the girl next to me when she grabbed my arm and screamed in my ear.

Before the first song was over, one thing was certain. Watching Harry Styles on YouTube was not the same as watching him in person. You would think I wouldn’t be screaming and dancing with the rest of the crowd since I actually knew the guy personally, let alone had the privilege of dating him. But holy cow, was I a fangirl! It was like watching Mick Jagger, Freddie Mercury and some cool indie rocker all rolled into one. I was so mesmerized and lost in every single song that I almost forgot about him coming to the B stage. Until it happened.

I’d laid my bouquet of lilies as gently as I could underneath my seat, hoping they didn’t get stomped on. I quickly retrieved them as soon as he took the steps down the main stage and waited for him to come closer. To be honest, up till this point, I suppose I had just assumed he would catch a glimpse of me, but I hadn’t considered anything further than that. My stomach started doing the flips as he climbed onto the small stage, and I saw him wave to the crowd. I didn’t want to make my presence obvious, but I did want him to know I was there. But his eyes grazed right over me and then he pulled his guitar strap over his head.

Disappointment ate at me as I felt my chest deflate. Nevertheless, Harry sang the first song beautifully, and it brought tears to my eyes. As he introduced the chords to the next song, teasing the audience a bit, I almost thought he saw me. But instead he tucked his guitar pick between his teeth and spread out his arms, making the crowd cheer loudly. The girl next to me began to jump up and down, making the ground tremble beneath my feet. I sort of wished she’d make enough noise for Harry to look our way, but he seemed to be taking it all in, letting the fans simmer in their excitement.

Finally, he began to sing. It was one of my favorite ballads where everyone with a cell phone brought it up to display their flashlights or bright screens. I sang along with him, wishing I could somehow channel my thoughts to him, make him look my way telepathically. Suddenly, during the breakdown after the bridge, his gaze met mine. It was kind of comical how his eyes widened as though he wasn’t sure he’d really seen me. I smiled, holding my lilies underneath my chin. Then he smiled too, one corner of his mouth sliding up further than the other. The crowd seemed to scream even louder, thinking his pause and smirk was somehow a reaction to them. I was perfectly fine with letting them think that. But I knew it was for me.

Harry finished the song, his audience singing in unison. Then he took me by surprise by setting down his guitar, walking to the edge of the stage, and reaching out. At first I wasn’t sure what was going on, but then someone nearby, a stagehand or someone from the soundboard, or maybe even Jeffrey Azoff, heck if I knew then, took the flowers from my hands and handed them to Harry. He smiled, inhaled deeply, smiled even wider, then blew me a kiss.

Everything after that happened so fast, it was a whirlwind. I think someone took the flowers back from Harry and put them somewhere. Then Harry sang one more song before heading back to the main stage. The cute girl next to me grabbed my arm again and squealed that he’d taken my flowers, and I was so freaking lucky, and that she was gonna do that next time, if she got to see him again. I giggled with her and squeezed her hand, then we watched the rest of the show in glee.

I hugged my new friend goodbye after the lights came back on, not really sure what to do next. Obviously I’d come to see Harry, not just his concert. But I didn’t know if I should stick around and wait for him, or go back to my hotel.

I opted for watching the crowd fizzle out as they sang and danced down the aisles towards the exits. I was just about to climb the steps myself and make my way to the restroom when my phone buzzed in my pocket.

Where are you?

I grinned, quickly texting him back.

Still in my seat.

I’ll send someone for you.

I wouldn’t have been surprised if I’d had to wait another half hour or so before someone came to retrieve me. Working somewhat in the entertainment industry - even for a few months - I was used to a lot of waiting. But it wasn’t barely five minutes before a man with a tight smile on his face came to greet me.

“Follow me,” he said simply.

The hallway backstage was brightly lit and smelled of sweat and cologne. It reminded me of a high school gym. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting as I’d seen many movies and documentaries about bands, but for some reason it wasn’t that. Still, I followed the man down the corridor to a closed door onto which he knocked. Someone must have given him the all clear and he pushed open the door and gestured for me to enter.

Now, the fangirl in me would have kicked myself for not first noticing the shirtless Harry Styles sitting in a chair by the mirror, but instead the bouquet of lilies displayed in a vase next to him. However, the girlfriend in me was all heart-eyed and flustered.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I heard him ask.

Blinking my eyes, I smiled at him, finally getting a good look at him. Weak knees. Heart palpitations. 9-1-1, people. How did I get so freaking lucky, as my new stranger friend would have said.

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” I beamed.

“Well, mission accomplished,” he chuckled.

With the grace of a gazelle, Harry rose from his chair to stand in front of me. I’d almost forgotten how tall he was. Man, it had been too long.

“Truth is…” I cleared my throat. “I missed you.”

Harry said nothing, merely nodded, his eyes glowing as they seemed to memorize every curve of my face.

“And um…” I continued as he suddenly touched my arms, his hands cupping my elbows.

I momentarily lost my train of thought as Harry lowered his head and began to breathe on my neck. I felt goosebumps all over my flesh in an instant, and I instinctively lifted my hands to touch his chest.

“There’s an and?” he said low into my ear.

“Yeah,” I sighed. “But it’s not important.”

“Of course it is. Or you wouldn’t be here.”

He lifted his head again to look straight into my eyes.

“Tell me,” he said.

“I just...didn’t want to lose our connection,” I confessed. “I think we have something great. And I hope you do, too.”

Harry nodded, a soft smile on his lips. “I do.”

“I admit, it’s hard being apart from you,” I added, looking down at my hands that had somehow landed on either side of his butterfly tattoo. “But I’d be an idiot if I didn’t let you know how I feel.”

Harry pulled me to him then, and I felt him sigh.

“And how do you feel?” he asked.

“I just said.”

Harry laughed. “No, you didn’t.”

“I feel...emotional,” I side-stepped.

“That’s a bit redundant, darling.”

I bit my lip. He was gonna make me say it, wasn’t he? As much as I was a word nerd, that was one word I couldn’t just blurt out. Even though I definitely felt it. It just wasn’t easy for me.

“Well, how do you think I feel, Harry?  I mean, I just flew out here from L.A. to surprise you.”

“Oh, I dunno,” he teased. “Could’ve been for another reason, and I just happened to be here…”

“Harry!”

He threw his head back laughing before kissing me on the forehead. Then the nose. Then the mouth. The kiss deepened, and for a minute I thought perhaps his inquiring was over and we were just lost in each other. Then he stopped suddenly and whispered against my lips.

“I love you, too, Lily.”

If you enjoyed, please like, comment, reblog or send me a msg!

MASTERLIST | KO-FI | FEEDBACK

[pascallatte]

Let's go to the beach

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x actress!reader

Summary: first sighting of the newly announced couple in public (a compilation of sightings in Hawaii)

Date: 2018 March

Warning/s: age gap, the first "video" was from a pap, the word screeching, not in your pov.

Taglist: @benonlinear, @t-stark35, @heyitsme-2, @elleeeee21, @holmesstrange, @tagakalat, @flyestvenustrap, @oldermenaremyreligion, @cherryred444, @avengersheart, @guacala, @pukka-latte, @hobiismyhopeu, @lilvampirina

a/n: I put this out because I want to but also because I might do something later too since I was inspired by one comment from you guys. Anyways hope you enjoy this !!!

Series Masterlist

Video from @deathalinechase

The wind hit the camera as soon the person started filming, it was obvious that the person was from a far distance hence the total zoom they did to get a clearer and closer look at you guys.

The cast of Triple Frontier: Oscar, Charlie, Garrett and Ben were on the shoreline talking to most probably their instructor for the day. They were all sporting the topless and swim trunks look, seeing that they were being told to dive.

On the far left, under the shade of a large rock and an umbrella, the newly announced couple was seen lying down on the sand, Pedro on his knees, wearing something similar to his cast mates, while you were wearing a black bikini. The two of you were seen talking— most probably teasing each other after you were seen playfully punching his chest as he gracefully fell next to you on the blanket.

The video blacked out but came back almost immediately, just in time to see you lean in for a short kiss, before taking Pedro’s sunglasses. He was called in by staff later on, leaving you in the shade to read your book.

Video from @.shashaila4013

The video started off with the usual, “I unexpectedly met Pedro Pascal and Y/n L/n while on vacation.” Shaila, as per her handle, introduced herself before heading straight to how she met the two.

“So my friends and I were in this place in Hawaii, that was recommended to us by the locals. It was all fun and games before we headed out for a dip at our place. So when we got there there were all these vans and like cars out in the specified parking area, which made our taxi stop and lead us to walk to the beach itself.” She explained showing pictures and videos of her and her friends.

“When we rounded up near this big ass rock, we were stopped by these people in black saying there was a shoot going on. At that moment we were annoyed since it meant we had to walk all the way back, which was a long walk by the way. So on the way back, we decided to just keep walking and exit the other way, AND THIS IS WHERE IT HAPPENED.”

“A friend of mine, Katie, pointed out the cameras and the amount of crew on the beach so being the troublemaker that she is she slipped past the fence for a minute to go and see who was there. So she ran back all smiley and shouting names we weren’t able to hear at first. Katie babbled on seeing that the one from King Arthur was there, along with Ben Affleck. She then like jumped up to join us on the other side, now shouting that she has seen Pedro and Y/n walking in our direction.” She breathes out to calm herself as she reminisced on the feeling.

“Ok, so we didn’t believe her at first. But of course, it had to be true because they really appeared in front of us, hand in hand with two other staff members assisting them. So us being the fangirls that we are screeched our lungs out making them look at us, actually let me just show you the messed up video we took."

As said, screeches were heard as soon as the video was played, you and Pedro were seen standing directly in front of them assuming they were waiting for something or someone. Pedro was seen wearing a loose white shirt and his swimming trunks, while you were wearing this Hawaiian print button-up shirt that was evidently Pedro’s because of the size. Hearing the noise, you turned to look only to make eye contact with Shaila herself. An audible noise was made from the back of her throat before she was seen waving at you. You having fun seeing their reactions waved back which resulted in guess what?… more screeches.

One of the girls asked if they can take pictures with Pedro, which Pedro looked at you first before nodding at them, beckoning them to stand near him. The video stopped at that, making her continue her not-so-short story now.

“The video accidentally ended when we went to them so let me tell you what happened. At first, y/n thought we were going for Pedro alone so she kind of like stranded away from him, but of course Pedro seeing her actions looked at us, like really LOOKED at us. Not in a judgy way but in a why, and kind of like asking way?-" she questioned herself.

"-Before extending a hand out for y/n, she insisted that she was okay, but me being a bigger fan of hers called to her asking if we can take a picture WITH her. She looked at me like with the largest eyes before nodding-“

“-And so yeah we took a couple of pictures after that.” shaila then placed the photos on screen, seeing the genuine smiles you had on your faces. As well as the sweet and protective stance Pedro had on you seeing that in the picture you were surrounded by the group which made him wrap and arm around your waist so that you won’t get squeezed or pulled back due to the people moving around you to fit in the picture.

“Assuming you guys would be asking questions about them, let’s start off with Pedro. Both of them were shocked to see us by the way, I mean who wouldn’t, we were screeching and all. And he looked good as hell by just wearing a plain white shirt. he had the warmest voice I’ve heard coming from a guy and had one of the sweetest smiles. I also didn’t expect he’d be that taller than me given that I was 5’7, but yeah he was towering over us. Now, this is the cute part, y/n was small— like small-small, I think she reached just below my ear which made her look up at us. Her height difference with Pedro was adorable, she just reached up to like under his chin- something like that, al-and-” Smiling wildly at the camera, she buried her face in her pillow. Before getting up as quickly.

“-She’s the sweetest I’m telling you, they were the most humble pair of celebrities I’ve ever met, after we said our thanks and apologies for interrupting them they just like smiled and said thank you back like it was nothing, they also offered us the drinks they ordered, which was the reason as to why they went our direction in the first place. They were also so sweet to each other seeing that Pedro was blocking her out of the sunlight and her asking if he was fine after a minute. They also argued about who’d take the most drinks back but someone helped them so they took like a bag each. Yeah, so that’s the story of how I met my now favourite celebrity couple. Thank you!”

Video from @gabefkundest17

Like the first video, this was shot from a far distance since the area you were in was closed off hours ago for a night celebration.

The sun was already setting at that time, making people go out of their cottages to watch it. Gabe’s group were one of those who went out and at the right timing saw you guys setting up to watch it too.

“It’s really them, I’m telling you.” Assuming this person was Gabe, said looking in the direction of the blocked-off area.

Mumbling was heard coming from a friend of his, making him shake his head. “No, it was leaked they’d be filming in Hawaii, just not which part of Hawaii. If I do get this right you’ll buy me drinks the whole night.”

Gabe was seen walking closer to the shore, almost parallel to you guys, and zoomed in. And at that moment he sucked in a breath hiding his excitement. slapping his friend in front of him, “I told you it was them.”

There in front of them were you and Pedro, laying down on a beach towel near the shore. Music coming from your side of the beach was heard in the video, confirming that it wasn’t just a spot for the two of you. It was uneventful, to say the least before the music switched up into something more lively.

Pedro being the dancer that he is turned to look at you and grinned. Wordlessly, he extended a hand out to you, beckoning for you to go dance with him. The group Gabe was in was silent during the whole interaction, they, however, let out similar squeals when you were seen reaching up and pulled into Pedro’s arms as you both tried to stay on beat, Pedro being the most on par. 

“Aww isn’t that the cutest. If I knew they’d be like this, I would’ve stayed tuned for years.” One friend cooed which made Gabe chuckle. Zooming in a bit more, you were both seen with large grins on your face, laughing when one of you makes a mistake, which the majority of the time was you.

Your little moment was then interrupted when Charlie called to Pedro from afar saying that something was ready. This only made Pedro shout out an audible, “Yeah, we’ll be there.”

He turned to look back at you and walked closer, for him to be able to wrap an arm around your shoulders. You were still laughing when you leaned in closer to him, arm now around his waist. Pedro was seen leaning down to kiss your temple, making you smile up at him before pecking his jaw.

Muffled sounds of excitement were the last things heard on Gabe’s end before he said bye ending the video.

[toiletology]

Knowing the 17 exist is the first step

G = 7, O = 6, D = 4 = 17

Funny my moms new dog she just got she named Truman. I think we have established the importance of the 17 up to this point and how it creates the shape of a door. We can endlessly extrapolate upon this number and find more mathematical or logical proofs of its importance. From the Holy Bible to Pi 3.14 to the numerology of our letters.

The numbers 1/7 = 0.1428571428571429 makes is not the most important part. Just knowing it exist is the first step to escaping the matrix and your 3D limitations.

Everything boils down to BELIEF, you must beLIEve in the LIE. I had to LIE to myself for a very long time for many years. I didn't want to accept what was happening to me was actually happening. Everyone around you will call you crazy, you need medication etc. Everything and everyone around you will tell you are WRONG. And what you are believing is INCORRECT.

Just be a good little sheep and follow the herd. The problem with that is I never liked listening to authority. I think my longest civilian job outside of the army only lasted 5 months. I knew there was something wrong with the world I just couldn't put my finger on it. Luckily my OCD for understanding the truth out weighed every other thing in my life including family life, health, social norms, relationships, etc. I've actually never been on a vacation before and here I am at the age of 40.

Yes I have been very obsessed with seeking the truth. Now that I finally found the Holy Grail I am sort of picking up the pieces of my life and trying to repair the damage I caused by being so obsessed with this journey. Luckily I am single with no kids and the only beings relying on me is my 2 cats. I am exercising a lot more since my health plummeted coincidentally a week or two after getting baptized at the age of 33 in 2018. I got diagnosed with Bechet's Disease which causes inflammation of the blood vessels. I was in an out of the ER 5x that year, I won't go into the details but it was pretty bad.

It can cause all sorts of ailments but it can go into remission. I've fixed 90%+ of my health problems by just using a foot stool in the bathroom, making homemade kefir and drinking yerba mate. The last part of correcting my health is increasing exercise and cardio. I have created a Bechet's Disease Research group on Facebook and I do believe I've narrowed down the causes. One part is the lungs I smoked off and on from the age of 19 up to around 31. Another is not exercising enough, gut microbiome (was damage due to long term antibiotic use in 2010 which started my first symptoms of Bechet's), the adrenals and I believe phosphates in the foods plays a big part which affects the kidneys. Astragalus is supposedly one of the best herbs for the kidneys.

I notice a big improvement in my energy levels when I take my multivitamin, magnesium, chlorella/spirulina and get more sunlight. https://amzn.to/4ducxFE

I thought God hated me especially since all these underlying conditions manifested right after being baptized. Looking back now I realized it was an important physical and mental test of rebuilding myself and learning how to repair the damage I did to my body. God sent me the answers that I needed to solve my health problems and rebuild myself. I was actually experiencing shooting pains in my abdomen for months around 2020 and I was 1 day away from going to the ER for it.

I prayed to JESUS on Friday night and the next day that shooting pain magically went away. I was able to make that pain completely disappear once I added a stool for my feet in the bathroom and started incorporated homemade fermented kefir into my diet. The stool helps by lowering your cortisol and stress on your organs.

Now your probably saying, so you were healed after praying to JESUS and now you want us to believe in this Toilet God fantasy you're weaving? Exactly! During my 11 year trials I was attacked by a lot of evil. That evil demonic energy would actually laugh at me and make fun of me for calling out to JESUS for protection or help. Like oh God here he goes again calling out to Jesus to save him... But in the end I always did the same thing for protection. Until this last time in 1/7/2023 where I was finally able to push higher past the jeSUS avatar and realize they are there to hide Gods ultimate truth. Don't get me wrong there is a great deal of power in JESUS name but they are not the ultiMATe truth.

Jesus or the Jester is a better name. Gods true persona is one of a clown or jester entity. The energy that flows outwardly from the Vesica Piscis or the vessel of the fish (Jesus fish) is a CLOWN energy. God is closer to that wink or that JINX than JESUS. God embeds a lot of their truth spread out through all religions and spiritual practices. Its just most of it gets diluted overtime to the point it becomes no longer helpful. This is why GOD wants to bring Toiletology to the masses. The world needs a wake up call. With more and more moving away from God a joke/parody religion is the best method to bring their truth like a trojan horse in disguise!

How can a silly parody/joke religion created by a comic book writer actually have any Godly truth within it?

I'm starting to realize now that I have done the crucifixion slowly over this past 11-12 years. Going through these past battles especially the one in fall 2023 where I had to fast for 40 days into another 40 day battle was hell. It honestly felt like I could keel over at any moment. I keep talking about how to reach my level of understanding you need to do this 11 year journey as well. I been asking God about this lately, how can the average person handle this without experiencing everything I have over my entire life? My time in the army, at war, my paranormal experiences when I was a teenager, my intuition and constantly searching etc.?

I am realizing now that I may of already done the work for y'all. And all that is left is for you guys to harmonize off of my words and the message I am bringing to you through Toiletology or my "ministry." I am mostly just an artist, I am no savior figure. I am just somewhat good at creating great art that may resonate with a large amount of people. I also don't like a lot of attention and tend to avoid people. You can find me alone and in hermit mode 99% of my life. I have spent much time in solitude trying to understand God. Many years just quietly meditating and not much else.

My one friend I was training last December in 2023 for a few weeks said he could feel the sauce/slack or the ACE as I like to call it. The drugged out energy you feel when you are on the right track and harmonizing with God perfectly to reach your full potential. It took me 10+ years to feel that on my own. If what my friend was telling me it means that you guys made not need to go through all the grueling test God put me through. My friend was willing to join the church and I actually promoted him to the second rank while he was here with my fencing saber. You may get a watered down version of this 11 year journey and basically ride my coat tails to the top or through the gates of heaven. Because I can provide you with all the answers you seek without you doing any of the work. Maintaining 4D awareness requires an insane level of belief. I imagine you will still have battles you must overcome to reach the level of belief required. Toiletology I believe will accelerate this process for you. Everyone is already on this journey, they just don't realize they are. Toiletology is like a compass/map that can point you in the correct direction you should be looking. To better help you navigate this tangled web that God weaves.

The main thing this journey has taught me is mastery of being insane. You need to be so insane that you actually go around the swing set inside out and become sane again. Basically being so bat shit insane but still being a "normal" functioning human being. Not mindlessly bumbling nonsense all over the place.

The truth is not that complicated. There is a higher level of awareness or reality. It is possible to tap into this reality and extra senses. Its definitely more than 6 senses, but the 6th sense is definitely your ability to communicate telepathically. Accessing the Akashic Records, lucid dreaming, astral projection or remote viewing you could probably lump all into this same 6th sense.

I think its all connected, it all begins with developing your pineal gland. I am still developing new abilities and strengthening the ones I have now more and more. I still don't fully know what the upper limit of these abilities will be yet. No I don't think I will ever be able to fly in the physical world, but I do fly a lot in my dreams. Maybe astral projection flying is real in the astral realm. I haven't done that yet, so I am not sure.

It is possible to "meet" with others in the "mind" if you have the skill to connect telepathically so that you both can share, connect or bond with each other in this shared mind. You can't force yourself into another's mind, only if you both are trying to connect to each other will your thoughts and memories start to flow together. It can be kind of weird thinking another persons thoughts and vice versa. It is possible to pick up on a persons thoughts in close proximity.

One time at the movie theater I hat a black wool Amish looking hat and heard this guys thoughts where he said in his mind, "I should wear a hat like that." I responded out loud, "Might as well." And they looked at me perplexed, smiled and walked away laughing. These connections aren't so much being telepathic yourself, but God allowing these connections to happen since they can't be forced. No matter how good you think your telepathic skills are. If its meant to be it will happen.

Needless to say I am still fairly new to these enhanced capabilities. I am just 100% in full belief they exist because I use them and practice them daily for years now. I know anyone can reach these same abilities as I am not that special or super smart. Though I have my moments and sometimes my intelligence does feel like it has major jumps or increases quite a lot. But it does shrink back down and makes things difficult again. The brains neuroplasticity or ability to change and grow seems unlimited. You know what they say if you don't use it you lose it.

Most humans have limited beliefs in their God given abilities. Maybe they grew up with everyone telling them they aren't that smart so they started to believe that. Self defeating thoughts can really dim your light. It can be hard to believe in yourself even when everyone around you doesn't want you to.

That is the true challenge for me and for Toiletology. Figuring out the best methods for helping everyone reach their full potential and unlock their supernatural abilities and connect perfectly to God so they no longer need my guidance or training. The basic foundation is love, honor, truth and respect. Point blank if you aren't operating at least at that fundamental level everything else will never work.

I was thinking maybe you guys need to bring on your "spiritual helper" which was the start of my elven/eleven year journey. I am still waiting for more guidance and knowledge from the Toilet God. All I do know is there is power in the ranks of Toiletology. There's power in just joining the church, there's power in helping it grow. There's power in making a daily conscious effort to believe what I am saying is actually true and/or possible.

It all starts first with making that FREE WILL conscious decision to explore this as a new avenue for your spiritual growth. The 17 (doorway) exist to reach these higher realms. Believing is the hardest part. Toiletology will show you the correct method for living in harmony with God. As well as developing your spiritual powers/defense so that you can start to make the transition into 4D.

ALL I can say is buckle your seatbelts because your in for a wild ride Dorothy and Kansas is going bye bye! I am not exactly sure the full potential and power of Toiletology quite yet, only that I made the journey and have embedded that Jesus-esque power into the church I have created.

I guess we won't know until I start getting some more disciples...

Interestingly half of 432 Hz = 216 or 27/117/49/64

[marine-indie-gal]

Dedicated to anyone out there who did their own Tribute to Stephen Hillenburg, I'm pretty sure we all know we're all know that I am indeed exactly Five Years late for this 😅

Considering that Today is the 62th Birthday to SpongeBob's creator who already passed away, I wanted to share my own tribute to him by drawing my own personal interpertation of Salacia hugging one of her pals (SpongeBob) knowing that Hillenburg is still there for his own creation (even if he may not be alive anymore).

Speaking of which, I wanted to share my own personal history with my own relationship with Hillenburg's creation throughout the Years.

As someone who was born in the 2000s era, I was never born in the 90s which always made Me the Youngst growing up as I was born around in a Crazy Blizzard around 2005 in the month of Christmas. There were a lot of popular things in life around my childhood like Angry Birds, Minecraft, Cut The Rope, My Little Pony, Hello Kitty, and even some First Modern Cartoon Network shows (before that studio went down) and all kinds of Early 2000s/2010s stuff that I've seen in life. One of my first exposures around in Pop Culture of that era when I was young was Disney and even a little addition of Dr. Seuss. I've watched SpongeBob around in its Seasons 4-8 when I was a Young Kid, growing up, I've always adored the Little Sponge Guy around in my childhood considering that it was one of my favorite shows from my childhood. Well, techincally, back then, I was actually more of a TAWOG Person being that Gumball was actually my very exposure of a very first fandom growing up as a kid (I even remember being obessessed with that CN Show until when I stopped watching it. Either that I was too busy on other things or that I was always stressed out on School).

I saw its First Movie when it came out One Year after I was born. I myself had watch that movie all the time as a kid, as I still enjoyed it at the very least to this day. Looking back at it, I actually haven't re-watched the film for quite a long time as it has been such a wicked long time considering that a lot of things change over the past few years of decades. Some things don't certainly age well in our childhood, others do age like wine.

Being a 2000s kid, I actually did had a few DVDs of Old Episodes from the Show from Seasons 1-3 as someone who always had a family moving place to place for weekends of vacation, I would always watch Movies and Shows all the time with my Parents. Sometimes, even if my Parents weren't around, I would sometimes watch a Few Movies and Shows by myself (mostly the obscured ones) on streaming services. Growing up, I had a fascination with Beach Life. I would always collect Seashells, Explore around the Sandy Places, and even most of the Time swim underwater where the Fishes would swim by. Though, oddly enough, SB wasn't the only Aquatic Media that I always loved as a kid since there were a few others that were also Aquatic as well like The Water Babies, Finding Nemo, Shark Tale, Disney's The Little Mermaid, and even Bubble Guppies. So yeah, you can at least pretty much tell that I was already born to be a Marine lover person who always had a life for Life under the Sea.

But when things start to change as I was around in my earliest Teen Years, I had no such more focus on SB anymore considering that like again, I had much focus for other things in life. New fandoms, Better Days (some were also terrible if you could put it that way). In 2018 (when I was 12 at that time of year), when I found out that SB's creator (Stephen Hillenburg) had passed away, I was completely shocked about his death and I had felt bad for the Other Hardcore Fans who missed him dearly partially because on how that he helped everyone's own childhoods with his own creation. I still remain a SB Fan that day but as someone who actually did not seen his New Seasons during that time, I still had no focus on looking back at it but whenever people pass away throughout decades, you'll always know how much you're gonna miss them, even if they were famous people from your childhood, especially for the ones who happen to inspire your own creaitives. Even losing a family member is hard for someone who has lost a few of them in their own life.

Then, around in the year, 2020 (when I was around 14), when SpongeBob was going to release its Third Film after it's Second Film in 2015 ("Sponge Out of Water" when I was 9), that Year itself was hell considering most of the horrible things that happened during that year that I'm pretty sure no one hasn't forget and still remembers that Worst Year to this day (My Mom broke her own Leg during that Year despite that she now broke her Arm in this Year, Kobe tragically died, and even COVID was the reason why we all had to be inside). Not to mention that I already lost my own Grandfather in December and my Mom was extremly heartbroken losing her own Father. When "Sponge On The Run" (Originally titled, "It's A Wonderful Sponge") was annoucned, it had so much delayed troubles I couldn't even be looking forward to seeing it, even after when it finally released around in August in Canada and then in March of 2021 on Netflix (though, it's not really on Netflix anymore last time that I've checked). But when I heard about the Controversy surronding it all because of the Spin-Offs that a lot of people on the internet were saying stuff like "STEPHEN DIDN'T WANT SPINOFFS!!!!!" or "NICK IS SPITTING ON HILLENBURG'S GRAVE BECAUSE HE ASKED FOR NO SPINOFFS!!!!!!" Look, I know that was all History stuff but if a few people are still acting like it to this day, they should get over themselves now. 

In case if you didn't know (or never watched the Third Movie), Sponge On The Run actually started the Whole Spinoffs in segments of Flashbacks to the Days where the Gang were at a Camp which was a brand new fresh start for SB considering after when Steph died, it was only up to his crew to take care his creation. Despite the fact that if you'd had watch all the episodes from the show, you would know that the franchise actually has its own Lore from Each Episode from the Past which people pointed out on how it was ridicolus to restart the lore (even I myself used to believe that). But looking back at the show, and how one of the Writers (Vincent Waller) pointed out that Steph knew about Kamp Koral, it turns out for what people have mislead in the past (if some still do to this day), I think what were all blind is that Steph actually said "He didn't know IF he could have seen in the potentails in wanting give his own Creation a Spin-Off" which, come to think of it, despite the show's genre of Surreal Comdey, I think we've been just living under the rock this whole time judging by how when we grow up, we start to realize that there is no such thing as "Canon" in a show like SB (usually, you'd see different types of canons in every other franchise like Sonic or Angry Birds). But even for that, sometimes a Story has no connection to the Other in terms of speaking in Timeline.

I still remember that time around in 2021 when I was introduced to SMG4, I remember seeing SpongeBob in other parody videos and even that one time I made my own SMG4 Fanfic featuring their own potrayal of the SB Characters (which I believe was kinda embrassing to Me to this day now that I've actually been thinking about it). 

Anyways, now as someone who has already gotten old, I have been looking back at some of my very old nostalgic things around in Childhood since 2022 while still looking forward to new things ahead. Mainly because after so much stress and grief upon everything that I once had in my old life, and now that my own Mother lost her Brother (who was my Uncle), I've already made my own descion Last Year of going through a New Life where I would have to face everything in my upcoming Adulthood, but I still missed my own childhood days. I've watched the Modern New Episodes (Seasons 9-12) for the very first time and honestly, I'm gotta have to admit here, but I actually like the New SpongeBob so much better than the Old One (apologises to those who still prefer the Classic), I still don't have nothing against the Old One but the New One feels so much improved with such Cartoony Whacky Animation that I like to think that I prefer the New Style over the Old Style (but still support both). I had watch the Third Film for the first time as I did used to think that it was bad (like how a lot of people say they would) but overtime, the way that I draw Poseidon somehow makes Me like that Third Movie since the Writers did want to put much heart for how much that Friendship truly meant around SpongeBob and his Friends.

I also couldn't thank Other Artists who done their own versions of Greek/Roman Gods into my own Personal Versions if the Other Gods in the Pantheon were in the Same Artstyle as King Neptune and King Poseidon in a Silly Show as inspiration for those (like my own friends) who have done interpertations of what Other Characters from the Source Material that never been adapted would look like in a form of the Artstyle. Ever since that I did my own personal take on Salacia, it completely took over Me as it made me have a strong fond for both the Sea Kings (even Poseidon and Amphitrite just became my New Mythological OTP alongside with Hades and Persephone thanks to Myself). Not to mention, I also had a long-passion for Old Stories for a long time, it also help Me to inspire to create my own personal versions of these said stories to interprete them in a different way which once lead me into my own Prequel Headcanon Project about the Lives of both King Neptune and King Poseidon in my AU if they weren't from different timelines. 

Overtime, as I always kept looking back at my old self, remembering the Days that I actually did had a Good Childhood, I'll always never forget my own Glorious Days where I grew up with such Nostalgic Things around in my life since SpongeBob was always truly one of my most favorites since the very beginning when I was came to the World. It just makes Me feel so much inspired by Hillenburg considering that he's a Marine biologist like how much I have a huge love for Nature and even a soft spot for Animals. Not only did I once feel hope for having a better future, but for a fact that I was born as a Sea Lover when it comes to looking into Other Aquatic Cultures and Media (New Ones like Splatoon, Ruby Gillman, and even Luca) and even old ones that I didn't saw as a child until Teenhood (The Sea Prince and The Fire Child).

It has come to my conclusion that SpongeBob as a show has always helped us build our childhood as things will always inspire us to give our very own bright imagintation, even to People who have Autism like Myself. While I do respect for those who are not into the show anymore because of its recent seasons, I still support it, even in my heart since I have not look back into it for such a long time as I believe it was my fault for not looking back at everything in my childhood. 

Thank You, Stephen Hillenburg. For reaching all of our own childhoods, even if we don't know what would life would be like without your own Magnificent Sea World.

Salacia (c) Me SpongeBob SquarePants (c) Stephen Hillenburg and Nickelodeon 

[harrytheehottie]

read part one here & let me know your thoughts

SPINNING OUT ONE NIGHT ONLY PREVIEW COMING SOON

This is an expert from the profile: 

Styles has spent a lot of time in Italy over the last few years. He has made a home for himself in a tiny village town far enough away from the tourist traps. A place where he truly feels like he is just like anyone else, “I’ve tried to live my life as normally as I can and obviously in some places I will get recognized a lot more than in others. So to have a place where I can come to bring my friends and family to and not have to worry about who has their phone out to take a quick picture is really nice.”

One may think it’s an odd choice for a post Coachella vacation. Going from playing in front of hundreds of thousands of people to being in a secluded town halfway across the world. But if you even spend a little bit of time with Harry, it makes perfect sense. He gives his all on stage and having the time to recoup and feel normal is important to him.

“When I first came here a lot of my neighbors were definitely annoyed.” Styles laughs as he recounts a story about how people were afraid that the town would now be hounded by fans and people just trying to find him, “but I have such a close relationship with a lot of the people here. So I can come here for weeks and weeks on end without anyone actually knowing where I am. It’s nice that anonymity is normal, it’s not to say I’m not grateful for the opportunities I’m given but there is comfort in knowing there are places where I can just be Harry.”

It couldn’t have been more true as you spent those few days with him. The demographic of people leaned older, they all treated Harry like their own son. He would wake up in the early morning hours to do a cold water plunge. After a few weeks of being in Styles’ orbit you too might find yourself in a cold water plunge on two. He then makes his way to the local cafe picking up a cappuccino for the way home. The ladies in the coffee shop always sneak in a few extra pastries into his take away bag. “When I come here I don’t really have any plans. I like to just see where the day takes me but one thing that I always do is this routine - cold water plunge, grab a coffee and a pastry and then come back home. I make myself a breakfast usually just some eggs and toast and then sit in my garden and enjoy the silence. The calm before the storm I guess.”

And that it was. Harry would have a week of promo in New York City before his One Night Only show where he will play Harry's House in full for the first time ever at UBS arena and then he’s off to London to do the same in Brixton and then embark on his UK/Europe tour for the firs time since 2018. His schedule felt exhausting but when you see him up on that stage, you know it’s exactly where he should be.

[yourfellowhuman07]

Ao3 updates and other such Incredibles

Howdy, everyone!

As you may have noticed, for the past couple of months I've been slow to update my fics, and I thought I should offer some sort of explanation and tell you guys some of the plans for the future.

Firstly, school and all my after-school activities have absolutely swamped me with work, such as plays, awards shows, sports, testing, and films. I've wanted to write more this semester but I've had little time and absolutely no energy to write. Also, it's embarrassing to write fan fiction at school. I've also been experiencing a creative drought, which hasn't helped. Anyway, I have two more days of school until summer vacation, so I'll be able to have time to write a lot more.

Now, moving forward.

Alliance of the Heart

Unfortunately, my inspiration for this fic is very fleeting so updates are very infrequent. I have a semi-lose plan on what to write next (I rarely plan out fics) so hopefully, inspiration strikes again and I can give you guys one or two more chapters this month.

Fates Rewritten

Right now, the story is hitting another one of those dry spots that are necessary for the plot or character building that are a slog to write, so that has prevented me from creating another chapter.

I promise the plot does get awesome when the actual war starts, but we need to build up to that point first.

Post War Fics

Now here's where things get complicated.

I'm discontinuing my first Post-War series.

Yes, I am sad to do this, but I do plan to rewrite the whole thing.

For the past couple of weeks, I've been thinking about all the ways I could rewrite Where Do We Go Now?, and I didn't feel like working around all the sequels so I've decided to start from the ground up. The rewrite will loosely follow the original, but there are massive changes to character interactions and how the plot unfolds since I know the characters and the world better. I'm also making things harder for everyone because everything happened way too easily last time. Trust me, this fic will be a massive improvement.

I'm currently rewatching the She-Ra 2018, so when that's complete, I'll begin the rewrite.

I promise this will be worth the wait!

(And yes, this will be an Ao3 exclusive)

[aemondsbabygirl]

Hard days ahead so I’m just venting.

So, my mom has a heart surgery on Wednesday. She’s had several since 2018. She’s not even 60 and I am once again thrown into the trauma. Because the first surgery, when she first fell ill was extremely traumatic. Can’t go into the details of it cause it would get too long. But it was traumatic. How it all happened when she was fine the day before.

Basically, I’m really stressed and want to burry myself in comfort movies, and fluffy fics. Put the AC on, and stay under the blankets. But I have to take her to the hospital, talk to surgeons, do all the admin work, pray she doesn’t die, and take care of her afterwards. Dad is here but non existent.

I just wished I wouldn’t have to relive this trauma again. I keep wondering why her ? which is horrible, because I wouldn’t wish this on someone else. And at the same time, I feel anger towards her because I have had to take on the role of caretaker so young, and it takes so much time and energy form me. I don’t have time or energy left to care about my personal life. I set aside friends and potential relationships for her. I use a lot of my days off of work to take care of her, which is not a vacation, it’s work for me. And then I have to go back to work like nothing happened, like I actually had rest.

Well this got heavy quickly and it’s not even half of it.

[transflynnscifo]

Tales of Vesperia Blurays

hello to anyone who’s scrolling the vesperia tag! I have finally gone around to digitizing other vesperia materials I possess that aren’t.. really anywhere online. (i may have put this off for at least as early as when I scanned light novel stuff)

anyway. the drive folder im providing includes: the vesperia stage play!!, the 10th anniversary party!!, tales of homeroom: tov edition!!, first strike 2019 bluray version!!

just keep in mind the following: you’ll have to download the things to watch them. you’ll most likely need to watch them through VLC media too. and they’re all unsubbed because translation is really not my forte

if you’re seeing this post and havent in any form completed/seen the game then do beware spoilers being in there, proceed with your own discretion. other than that, have fun! if anyone wants to translate these (they are all RAWs after all) please feel free to :)

goes without saying that if there’s any errors (there’s only so much I can proof-watch at once), do let me know!

that all aside. here’s the Contents (details) :

-Tales of The Stage: Justice of Light and Shadow (2019). Includes disc 1 (the play itself), and disc 2 (bonus content included in the bluray itself. stuff with the actual stage actors and whatnot)

I have so many thoughts on the stage play and i consider it a worthwhile experience! its like a little treat (though the speedrun being done here to get as much main story content covered within 2.5 hours is a sight to behold LMAO) (and even then, the stage play diverts from the main story to a good degree :3c)

-Tales of Vesperia 10th Anniversary Party (2018), also known as the celebratory party that was done live with all the voice actors leading the show! it’s overall very sweet and charming. this includes 2 discs, each containing a recording of 2 different days when the party took place, if that makes sense. any other videos in the folder is the bonus segments included in the bluray too, in a similar fashion to the stage play

-Tales of Vesperia ~The First Strike~ 10th Anniversary Edition (2019), and Yes, we do have the movie available online, but i figured i could provide the bluray version that you would get if you got the definitive edition of the game in Japan. could make use for some HD screenshots perhaps.

the plus to the new bluray: it INCLUDES a 30 minute skit present on the disc as a bonus. im also providing the menu animation for the bluray since I somehow could rip that too and it looks pretty neat (:

-Tales of Homeroom, the two tales of vesperia episodes that you could only get through, again, the first strike bluray (2019). If you’ve seen some of the tales of HR videos uploaded on youtube, then you’ll know what this is about. if not, no fret! it’s just 2 tiny episodes centered around the vesperia cast on a vacation :)

Link to the Bluray Stuff

Link to the post where I scanned light novel illustrations and the danzaisha no keifu manga

eventually i should get to finding a way to put out the drama cds i own too. hopefully i don’t stall as long as i have with these

EDIT 30th September: new masterpost as I don’t want to use gdrive

[calliecat93]

Well, we're at the end of 2023. I keep going back and forth, feeling like the year went on forever and like it just started. Weird, huh? So things in the world this year... yeah I don't need to say much on the state of things. All I can say is that I hope 2024 will be better... and that Trump doesn't make it into office. Things WILL get worse for everyone if that happens, and that's all I will say about it.

Anyways, my personal life. It actually wasn't too bad. I got to go on my first-ever cruise at the end of April and the first real vacation that I had had since I was a kid. It was such an amazing time~! I even got to hug Mickey Mouse for the first time in 20 years~! Speaking of though, I've done a hard step away from animation. I still reblog stuff, but I'm not as into looking into things like voice actors or history and stuff anymore. The past few years of industry drama utterly drained me and killed a lot of my love and passion for entertainment in general, and it was time to realize that, step back, and let myself begin just enjoy watching things again. Which I have been doing slowly. It's sad, but accepting that I don't want a part of the animation world and remain a casual fan was the right thing to do. I'll always love it, but I don't want to be a part of that world as a career or anything anymore.

Doing so has helped me decide on what I want to do though. Mom had been trying to convince me for years to get into culinary since I both liked it and was good at it. I was reluctant because it's VERY high stress... but I've gotten really into baking and I've decided that I'd like to pursue that as a career. It's fun, not so stressful that I can't handle it, and I'm good at it. I'm hoping to go back to school as the community college here has a culinary program where I can get a baking certification. But yeah, it was a life change that needed to happen.

Otherwise, this was one of my calmer years. There wasn't some major family tragedy for the first time in like five years, Thank God. I turned 30... so I'm old. We adopted out dog Dante that past December and I utterly love him with all my heart. I got my learner's permit a few days ago so I'm one step closer to being able to get my life going. I've fully accepted being sapphic and once I can drive and stuff I'd like to be able to start maybe dating for the first time. I think overall I finally realized how stilted my life had become since my dad died in 2018, but I lacked any motivation and drive to change it or do anything. IDK what's changed, but I want to start living my life and continuing to make progress on that is my goal for 2024.

Fandom life has been a lot slower. Probably as a result of me realizing that I should actually focus on my real life. But it's not dead either. RWBY Volume 9 finally came out and while I almost quit when it did, I stuck to it. I'm glad I did because it's now my favorite volume of the show and while I'm honestly convinced V10 won't happen, if it does I'll be here for it. My TOS passion got reignited, so much so that I had to make a sideblog to contain it all. I haven't really gotten into anything new, really with the state of things, I'm almost afraid to even try any new shows. Like I said, I've been focusing on just enjoying stuff again so it's just been whatever I see around getting reblogged. I guess that made things dull on here, but it did good for me, and in the end that's what I use this blog for. I've even started to get back into fanfic writing after all the RT drama got to me so bad I quit after finally getting over my writing anxiety. But I hope that's a good sign of finally moving forward.

Overall, I know that the world is in dire straits right now. My personal life wasn't too bad this year, but it sucks to think bout how so many have suffered and I can't really do anything about it. Like I said, I hope that 2024 will be better for everyone. Regardless I hope that you all have a Happy New Year and as we enter Year 12 of the blog, I thank you all once again for having stuck with me. See you all in 2024~!

[kabutoraiger]

finished my latest out of pocket straight people soap opera of choice, "tasogare ryuuseigun."

the setup is that the average salaryman main character has a midlife crisis and goes on an impromptu european vacation where he coincidentally meets another japanese tourist and realizes she's basically his soulmate. and then even more coincidentally meets her again back home and they start the world's most awkward affair.

meanwhile his unfulfilled wife falls for their 20-something daughter's fiance who is like the milfhunter supreme and is putting the moves on her from the very first second they meet. but it's no real betrayal of the daughter bc SHE'S actually in love with her 60+ yr old college professor and is just marrying the younger guy to be practical / bc HIS mother is dying from cancer and wants to see him get married before she's gone.

so. y'know. normal hetero stuff.

the mom x daughter's fiance storyline was what dragged me into this bc i was like ok i Have to know how that shit pans out. and the answer is... honestly kinda cutely, all things considered.

any time i encounter middle aged woman/younger man in jdramas it always seems to be like. "e-ehh!? (blushes) but i'm an old lady..." as some alpha fuckboy kabedons her. which is. i mean i cannot begrudge the housewives who watch these shows their fantasies but it's simply not my thing, let's just say. so i did find this drama more enjoyable bc while it does feature a lot of the "e-ehh!?" the love interest here is very. different. i call him milfhunter supreme but he's so earnest and gentlemanly and like "you deserve the world, beautiful queen!!" about it. it's a little cringe but also sweet.

but it works on a compatibility level too since he comes across as such an old soul & is honestly kind of. intriguingly "feminine" in his interests & mannerisms. this is a guy who's into growing herbs & brewing tea as a hobby and goes to the movie theater in 2018 to see "an american in paris." genuinely difficult to imagine what he talks about with most people his own age. so him and the mom actually ending up together as a cute couple in the finale feels like. yeah. it's sensible. this seems like an age gap relationship built to last.

that being said i still struggle to call it hugely interesting - the mom is lacking in personality and they never really Talk about what's going on between them in the way you desperately want them to. & the other relationships here are mostly pretty whatever. (did get such a good laugh out of that elevator scene i posted about previously, though.)

that + the fact that the theme song is horrible and plays constantly + the fact that the subs are totally desynced from the video in half the eps if you watch it on a streaming site like i did (i did try to find the raws but no luck at this point)... hard to give this a recommendation. maybe if you really enjoy melodrama and you're on avistaz and are able to DL a properly timed version from there.

[bereft-of-frogs]

writing goals for this weekend: make significant progress on part II of my little summer ocean horror project (though part II is when the ocean becomes more metaphorical) because if I can make significant progress on that I might actually make my self-imposed deadlines for the second half of the year. Current word count is 20,411.

And yes this is indeed another case of me being like ‘I’m not going to force things, I don’t want to scare away this fragile inspiration that has only just now returned from the war, and then immediately being like ‘ok I have a schedule for the next 6 months now’.

In case anyone is wondering (probably no one but I’m still going to tell you):

rest of June (this week): get as much of the first draft done as possible. Ideally finish it but I’ll see how things shake out, it might end up getting longer, who knows at this point

July 1-5: vacation! friends are coming and we’re going to my parents house and I’m not going to look at it at all, just going to take a break and read and maybe swim in the lake (this is kind of why I’m hoping to finish the draft before the end of this week)

rest of July: second draft rewrite, edits. I’ve learned that doing full second drafts, shockingly, makes my writing better. who would have thought? crazy, right?

August: ideally posting the four parts across the four Fridays in August, while finishing up, rewriting, and editing the second chapter of ‘omens and all kinds of signs’.

September-October: y’all know where I’m going with this one. I guess it will depend on if the new mods change the schedule at all but despite not completing all the prompts since that one time in 2018, and really struggling last year, I can’t think of writing in Autumn without at least giving whumptober a try. every year I’m like, ok but this time I’ll recreate the magic that got me to 100% in 2018. Probably not! Still going to try.

November: finishing up any prompts and posting.

December: chilling, figuring out what’s next

Obviously since these are self-imposed and I don’t think anyone is like...waiting for anything lol, it’s flexible. I’ll have to see how satisfied I am with this fic at the end of July because I don’t want to rush it if I feel like it could be better. I might move that posting to September, but we shall see! Also hopefully not but my inspiration could completely vanish and I won’t finish any of this! Really, really hoping not lol. And I do think this is fairly realistic, like it’s not that crazy. My schedule that one time in 2018 was way more crazy. This is fine and a totally normal thing to do XD

[kimkaelyn]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

Shout out to the amazing @andypantsx3 for the tag! Sending lots of love and happiness your way!

Hmmm, so this is difficult. In my opinion, I haven't published many worth mentioning fics but if I had to choose any, they would be these. 5.) This is for all of the stories that I started to write, but never finished; and all of the stories that were ideas in my head that never got to be played out. I love you and do think about your worlds and stories.

4.) Can I Sing At Your Wedding | Kim Namjoon

I don't have a reason for why I am including this. I just find it hilarious and a big mess that makes me smile every time I read it.

3.) Ditto | Shouto Todoroki

when you transferred to U.A., you didn't anticipate slipping on a pair of chopsticks in the middle of the crowded cafeteria during your first week. however, what took you by surprise was the unexpected fall for the boy who gracefully caught you.

This isn't released yet, but I am having so much fun writing it!!!!!! I'm looking forward to sharing this with you all!

2.) Marinette Claire | Miraculous Ladybug

She made a promise to him. But something happened and she disappeared. What would happen three years later when she returns with secrets you never could imagine?

Soooooo, this is the first fic that I actually ever wrote. I never finished it (at least on paper), but it is special to me. I wrote this all the way back in 2016 when I was twelve or thirteen. At the time, I was trying to navigate my feelings and grief over a classmate's death. And those emotions that I was feeling is reflected in this story. This story is about a boy trying to navigate the death of his best friend and try to figure out how to move on with life.

Basically, I was writing about myself, but speaking through the character of Adrien Agreste (T_T omg i can't believe I just typed that out). This story was my coping mechanism, and it was a light when I was surrounded by so much darkness.

1.) Lost at Sea | Marvel

"Cap! We found her!"

After I woke up, I met this gorgeous woman. Eventually, we got married and had a daughter. We were very happy. I never allowed my work as Captain America to come in between my family and I. Until a sudden mission forced me to leave our family vacation in Italy and catch the next flight to D.C. My wife and daughter were supposed to fly back two days later, but they never made it home...

"Where's my daughter?"

"All we know is that she's not with her mother."

Now I know you guys' are probably racking your memories trying to see if you have read this story before, and the answer to that is probably not. Lost at Sea is the first multiple-chaptered fic that I finished. I wrote it all the way back in 2017-2018 while I was in middle school. This story is my baby, and my OC Mariana... I don't know what to say about her only that she holds a special place in my heart. (Seriously if I have a daughter I am going to name her Mariana.) Maybe because she is the type of person that I wish I was, but regardless, she is my everything.

I wrote Lost at Sea during a very difficult time in my life. I haven't talked about this here on tumblr before, but middle school was hell for me. I was severely bullied over my online presence and I am ashamed to say that they made my old childhood persona die, and they are the reason that I use a pseudonym now. At that time, while being bullied, I was trying to figure out who I was and find a place where I belonged. I, like so many writers and artisans, turned to art as a way to cope and navigate my emotions and changing world. The result of that is Lost at Sea. I poured my everything into that book, and I am so so so proud of it. I have come a long way since it was completed, and I promise one day I will go back and give it the revision it so desperately deserves.

Thank you again Andie for the tag!

no pressure tags: @yoonia @floatingpetals @missrosegold @thecowboykatsuki-anon @vampyrsm @ghostgirl19posts @kpopfanfictrash @jamaisjoons @jeonstudios @riverofmemoriesft

(I apologize if you are already tagged, but please do @ me in your post so I can read about your favorite fics!!)

[rjam9]

Jam’s fanfic masterpost

a masterpost for all my published fics on ao3, linked here for easy access in case you don’t want to go searching for one in particular. if any of these interest you please check out the full fic (with tags and complete descriptions) on my ao3. will try to keep it updated, but i am pretty forgetful.

-

doctor who

a hundred bad days make a hundred good stories

status: ongoing, 3/?

desc.: ( a hundred good stories make me interesting at parties )

notes: a collection of very old songfic that all had a specific focus/theme in regards to the Doctor going on. some of the very first fics i posted on ao3, and i haven’t updated this series since 2020, though i do want to get back to it and revamp it at some point.

this is home

status: complete, 1/1

rating: teen

words: 2.7k

desc.: The Doctor is okay. But they forget rule number one. The Doctor lies.

notes: songfic, very very old, so expect mistakes. has been crossposted before to various platforms. focuses on the Doctor’s thought process through s12.

fire

status: complete, 1/1

rating: teen

words: 3.1k

desc.: It seemed like they were always burning.

notes: songfic, very very old, so expect mistakes. has been crossposted before to various platforms. focuses on the Doctor’s relationship with fear.

99

status: complete, 1/1

rating: teen

words: 5.1k

desc.: “A friendship older than your civilization and infinitely more complex.”

notes: songfic, very very old, so expect mistakes. has been crossposted before to various platforms. focuses on Doctor&Master relationship.

non-series fics

the star that fell to earth

status: complete, 1/1

rating: gen

words: « they're like a shooting star, a beautiful array of gold and blue streaking across the sky. »

desc.: 2.1k

notes: my first ever fic posted to ao3 back in spring 2020, originally written circa 2018/2019 when i first got into doctor who. has been cross-posted to various platforms, so it’s been floating around for ages. a somewhat rewritten version of “The Woman Who Fell to Earth” from Thirteen’s perspective.

don’t kill me (cus’ I’m just the messenger)

status: ongoing, 4/?

rating: teen

words: 2.9k

desc.: « The universe is waiting. »

notes: my collection of doctor who one-shots, mostly drabbles too small to fit into their own fics. updates very, very occasionally.

Respice Ad Astra

status: complete, 3/3

rating: teen

words: 19.6k

desc.: After The Doctor gets knocked into a coma, Yaz and Ryan decide to dive into their mind and try to wake them up. However, to do so, they have to travel in an hellish landscape filled with secrets from the Doctors past.

notes: my first ever multichapter fic, where i got wayyy to into the “tarot card” page of the doctor who wiki. older, but i’m still proud of it since it was, again, my first ever multichapter fic.

The Concept of Karma and Unluckiness

status: complete, 1/1

rating: gen

words: 4.7k

desc.: The Doctor is just trying to find Jack and Rose, not meet their future self at some stupid, and very boring, vacation resort. Well, it could be worse. At least they got some free custard creams out of it.

notes: one of my older fics, but i still find it enjoyable. Nine&Thirteen meeting fic.

the fifteenth letter of the alphabet

status: complete, 1/1

rating: gen

words: 3.7k

desc.: The Eleventh Doctor, on a whim, decides to give their phone number to an MI6 agent named O. Here are a few of the chatlogs that happen afterwards.

notes: chatfic spanning from Eleven’s run to Thirteen’s; no actual prose to be found here, sorry.

follow me to wonderland

status: complete, 1/1

rating: teen

words: 8.6k

desc.: Yaz and Dan, they’ve been having dreams, but they haven’t felt like their own. But that’s impossible, right? It’s not like they could be having someone else’s dreams, right?

notes: trippy dream fic, i was trying to be spooky.

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little nightmares

the static and the emptiness and how you lived through it

status: complete, 3/3

desc.: When Mono and Six meet in the basement of the Hunter’s cabin, neither of them think they’ll end up sticking together. That was not how this monstrous world worked, and above all else, they need to survive. Having a friend just made it harder. Luckily for both of them, they’re wrong.

notes: little nightmares destroyed me emotionally so this is how i deal with it. focuses on Mono&Six’s relationship and features canon divergence from the you-know-what. first fic is from Mono’s POV, second is form Six’s POV, and the third is an epilogue of sorts from Runaway Kid’s POV. enjoy.

living without the fear of a monochromatic existence

status: complete, 1/1

rating: teen

words: 16.1k

desc.: The story of friendship, hand-holding, and how to survive longer than those who want you dead (hint — it involves those first two things).

notes: a study on Mono&Six’s relationship, with my own headcanons thrown into the mix. canon divergence for the ln2 ending. Mono’s POV.

how life works when the sun never shines

status: complete, 1/1

rating: teen

words: 37.8k

desc.: The story of friendship, hunger, and trying to save yourself when you’re so intwined with another person you don’t know where to begin (hint — telling yourself something doesn’t make it true).

notes: takes place directly after first fic in the series, canon-divergence from ln2 where Mono joins Six on the Maw. Six’s POV, and features rewritten scenes from the first fic from her perspective. tw for canon-typical Six/Lady uh. dynamic.

what it means to live when you’re no longer about to drown

status: complete, 1/1

rating: teen

words: 9.6k

desc.: the story of endings. and the story of beginnings.

notes: the final fic in the series, an epilogue of sorts, takes place directly after the last fic. Runaway’s POV, features some of my (very odd) Runaway characterization and an outsider pov on Mono&Six, because i live for that shit.

non-series fics

a peripeteia that happens before you wake up

status: complete, 1/1

rating: teen

words: 2.9k

desc.: The story of loneliness, the passing of time, and what happens when you’re forced into isolation when your greatest fear is being alone (hint — it’s something very not good).

notes: post-ln2 trippy piece vaguely inspired by poetry.

allusions, allegories, and other literary devices involved with friendship

status: complete, 1/1

rating: teen

words: 8.8k

desc.: The story of spare change, sneaking out, and holding onto the hope that someday you’ll make it out here (hint — if you’re someone like Mono and Six, you’ll make it true).

notes: a modern au. kinda.

when smelling smokes ends up causing social anagnorisis

status: complete, 1/1

rating: teen

words: 10.1k

desc.: The story of weird words, paper bags, and seeing smoke before there’s even a fire (hint — sometimes you end up causing a fire anyways).

notes: a pre-ln2 fic focusing on my headcanons about Mono’s backstory.

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moon knight (mcu)

using syzygy in place of a metaphor

status: ongoing, 3/?

desc.: After the whole deal with Harrow in Egypt, the Moon Knight system is attempting to live their new shared lives together. It’s a learning curve for all of them, but they’re trying, which is all you can really do in this situation, isn’t it?

notes: originally started as a canon divergence post-series one-shot people asked for a continuation of. focuses a lot on the Marc&Steven&Jake dynamic. i have a few plot bunnies planned for the future, but as of right now i’m focusing on other fandoms. all fics should be able to be read separately from one another.

selenography in regards to the human mind

status: complete, 1/1

rating: teen

words: 6.8k

desc.: What comes after for a former gift shopist, an avatar for a moon deity, a minted taxi cab driver, a sorta ex-wife who is also an avatar for a hippo deity now, a local egyptian god, and their three goldfish.

notes: originally written as a post-canon divergence standalone; system is still Moon Knight and know about Jake. can be read separately from rest of series.

perigee as a reference point

status: complete, 1/1

rating: teen

words: 13.4k

desc.: There’s a universe outside of London and Egypt, and people typically take notice when you mess with the night sky.

notes: a moon knight / mainline mcu crossover. can be read separately from rest of series.

the relation between lunar cycles and the three of hearts

status: complete, 2/2

rating: mature

words: 62k

desc.: Marc and Steven open Jake’s sarcophagus when they find it on the boat in the Duat. this changes things. this changes a lot of things.

notes: a what-if Steven&Marc opened Jake’s sarcophagus fic, chp1 is “Asylum” rewrite and chp2 is “Gods and Monsters” rewrite. can be read separately from rest of series. heed tw in the author’s notes.

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ironfamily (mcu)

i’ll become a trumpet or a drumset (in a sad orchestra)

status: ongoing, 4/6

desc.: When Pepper gives Peter Harley’s number so the two boys can chat, some … stuff happens, including a kidnapping attempt, an Iron Lad appearance, family drama, a field trip from Hell, Tony being stressed out, and possibly a few more things. This was probably a bad idea.

notes: once again meant to be a standalone fic people asked for a continuation of. focuses on Peter&Harley relationship most often, but also features irondad and the other “ironfamily” subfandom tropes. all fics feature elements of chatfics and social media, though not all are as serious as others. one more main series fic is planned, then a collection of one-shots.

come on guy (i promise everything will be alright, be okay)

status: complete, 1/1

rating: teen

words: 12.9k

desc.: When Pepper gives Peter Harley’s number so the two boys can chat, it ends up with a lot of texting, some explosions, a few threats of tasering and a kidnapping attempt. That really should be expected when these two became friends, though.

notes: a Peter&Harley centric fic, from Peter’s POV, takes place in the vague hand-wavey time post-Homecoming but pre-IW. vaguely crack-treated seriously + part social media fic.

i guess the last time (you had any fun)

status: complete, 1/1

rating: teen

words: 22.8k

desc.: Harley’s staying in New York permanently now, for at least his next school year. This means a new classmate at Midtown Tech, the official introduction of ‘Iron Lad’ (name still in progress) to the public, and Tony gaining a few more grey hairs from his dumbass kids.

notes: a Peter&Harley centric fic, from Harley’s POV this time. takes place directly after last fic in series. vaguely crack-treated seriously + part social media fic.

the world’s smallest violin (really needs an audience)

status: complete, 1/1

rating: teen

words: 27.4k

desc.: Tony is settling into his new, weird-but-normal routine, where he is currently mentoring two chaotic kids and, apparently, actually has some people in his corner. Which is good, given the fact that the Rogue Avengers are officially being pardoned. He’s pretty sure the stress is going to kill him before superheroing does.

notes: a Civil War-fallout fic, from Tony’s POV. takes place directly after last fic in series. less cracky then the previous two, still part social media fic.

holy moly (it’s a real do-nothing day)

status: complete, 1/1

rating: teen

words: 36.5k

desc.: Midtown High Academic Decathlon Team has won their national competition. Technically, they don’t get any awards other than boring money stuff from it, which when Tony Stark hears about it, he intends to rectify — meaning they get a special, end-of-the-year field trip to Stark Industries on the behalf of Tony’s two interns; Peter Parker and Harley Keener. Ugh.

notes: POV outsider on the fieldtrip trope, written after the fieldtrip trope went out of style. goes back to being vaguely crack treated seriously + part social media fic. takes place directly after last fic in series and possibly the only one (besides the first) able to be read separately, but i wouldn’t recommend it.

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the murderbot diaries

Logging Off

status: complete, 1/1

rating: gen

words: 722

desc.: Murderbot has a conversation with Dr. Mensahs daughter and reflects way more than it should.

notes: first ever Murderbot fic, written pre-Network Effect

Crossed Wires

status: complete, 1/1

rating: teen

words: 4.8k

desc.: Five times a human watched Murderbot and ART interact, and one time Murderbot and ART (sort of) watched the humans interact.

notes: POV outsider on Murderbot&ART, very old with many mistakes. planning on being rewritten sometime, probably whenever the next book comes out.

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five nights at freddy’s

if you get hurt we won’t cover your loss

status: ongoing, 2/3

desc.: All Gregory wanted was a warm place to sleep and some (stolen) food, but he ends up being hunted down by murderous animatronics and security guards alike, having to quite literally fight for his life, and he can’t escape no matter what he does — given that time keeps resetting whenever he dies. Too bad Gregory isn’t going to give up on this, so whoever is trying to screw him over will just have to deal with him.

notes: my Gregory-gets-stuck-in-a-time-loop verse. currently working on an alt. pov fic with plans for the sequel in place.

the party’s never over for you

status: complete, 35/35

rating: teen

words: 265k

desc.: Gregory just wanted some free (stolen) food and a warm place to sleep, except time keeps resetting whenever he dies, and he can’t escape no matter what he does. He’s way in over his head here, isn’t he?

notes: time loop fic with found family and trauma. currently my longest fic ever, so i would suggest not reading it all in one go. you’ll lose your mind.

don’t bite off more than you can chew

status: ongoing, 1/?

rating: teen

words: 6.7k

desc.: There is something odd going on in the Pizzaplex tonight, but Freddy has decided he will do everything he can to help Gregory — this odd, lost child — escape the mall unscathed. Meanwhile, Vanessa is having, quite possibility, the worst night of her life. The other animatronics don’t remember any of this.

notes: an alt. pov companion pieces to “the party’s never over for you”, featuring even more trauma and time loop shenanigans. has no strict uploading schedule and will hopefully not be as long as the og fic, but given how long all my works end up being, we’ll have to see how it goes.

bonus: check out the tumblr tag, i answer questions about it occasionally!

non-series fics

there’s a stranger in us all

status: complete, 1/1

rating: teen

words: 6.2k words

desc.: Cassidy has two separate conversation with the same weepy child, who is lonely and scared and crying. The situations are just different. But that’s what really matters here, she thinks.

notes: Cassidy&CC relationship fic, bc i love the “fucked up little kid friendship” dynamic apparently. some tw apply for canon-typical gore and child death.

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good omens

the “soldier, poet, king” collection

soldier, poet, king (old)

status: complete, 6/6

rating: teen

words: 95k

desc.: Eleven years ago, the Antichrist was born, set to bring upon the end of the world in due time. He was suppose to be delivered to the Order of the Chattering Nuns the night of his birth by the demon Crowley. And that’s what happened. Well, what everyone thinks happened.

notes: an Aziraphale/Crowley raise Adam AU, every chapter is a rewritten episode. formerly my longest ever fic, has now been bumped to second place. is currently being rewritten! (see below)

soldier, poet, king

status: ongoing, 1/6

rating: teen

words: 37.5k

desc.: Eleven years ago, the Antichrist was born. The baby was to be delivered to an order of satanic nuns by the demon Crowley and then be raised by a human family, and when he came into his powers, the Earth would end in fire and brimstone. And that is what happened. Or, what everyone believed had happened.

notes: the rewritten version of my previous Aziracrow raise Adam AU, this time featuring working footnotes and some improved prose. it also looks like it is going to be twice as long as the original version. oh boy.

non-series fics

love like yours will surely come my way

status: complete, 1/1

rating: teen

words: 4.6k

desc.: Crowley made it so hard, sometimes, to be an Angel. So even though Aziraphale knows he really should be finding the Metatron and going back to Heaven, he was still here, kissing Crowley in his bookshop.

notes: s02e06 fix-it fic i wrote in a day, bc season 2 left me in shambles. written in my usual style and not my emulating style, but it’s still a fluffy, angst with a happy ending one-shot to heal any broken hearts. including my own. rip

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the mandalorian (star wars)

but when we cry, we cry together (like it was meant to be)

status: complete, 1/1

rating: teen

words: 3.5k

desc.: In which Din gets injured and thinks a bit more than he should.

notes: very old, written pre-s2. the last of what i call my “early days” fics where i was still getting used to ao3 and posting my polished fics. so, expect mistakes. tw for some mild desc. of injury.

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dceu

as opposed to permanence

status: complete, 1/1

rating: teen

words: 2.6k

desc.: The consequences of time travel, and what comes with being just a few seconds out-of-sync with the rest of the universe.

notes: Barry Allen time shenanigans taking place post-Snyder Cut. written before all the Ezra Miller controversies, but i still like the character.

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assorted (aka, things i’ve written for class)

The Martian

it’s far behind the stars

status: complete, 1/1

rating: teen

words: 814

desc.: There’s still an entire trip back to Earth to get through, and some habits are hard to break.

notes: post-canon character study written for class.

Shakespeare

you’ve been on my mind since the flood

status: complete, 1/1

rating: teen

words: 898

desc.: The water wants Ophelia to come play. It might not just be the water.

notes: character study on Ophelia from Hamlet written for class. tw for implied character death (on par for the original play) .

[firsttarotreader]

In an interview in 2018 he said

"For me, travel means breaking, changing habits and finding a new balance."

(Question) Of the many places you have been to. which would you choose?

"Walking on the Great Wall for Zhang Yimou's The Great Wall was like finding myself on another galaxy. In southern Italy, on the islands of Sicily such as Lipari and Stromboli, I experienced a symbiosis with nature that I need, even though I consider myself a man who always, or almost always, needs to feel a metropolis around him. New York will forever remain my habitat, but another of my favourite cities is Madrid."

But now that he is not working, he is in LA at home. And we know he doesn't get much rest, always by his own admission. My question is: how does he feel about a proper vacation? Like an atoll in bora bora or whatever

Hello! I asked the cards your question about how he might feel about a proper vacation and the first pull was the 10 of Teacups, Justice and Strength.

Well, interesting thing. 10 of Teacups represents happiness and complete satisfaction, like a “happy ending”. Justice does speak of balance and moderation, of finding this harmony between the “sides”. Strength is another card that is somewhat related to balance, as it’s about finding inner strength, mastering your raw emotions in order to be able to tackle any situation with a calm heart and mind. So a proper vacation would possibly represent a lot of joy and satisfaction, but also finding inner balance and inner strength.

The next pull was the Knight of Spears, 5 of Flowers and The Chariot. Well, Knight of Spears followed by 5 of Flowers points to the idea of a real and long vacation as being something very challenging for him, that will require a lot of strength and courage to face all the obstacles that may surface, be it cultural differences or language barriers. But this Knight is a fighter, so he might be up for the challenges, even though there might be some resistance when it comes to thinking of a trip like that, as in “I want to avoid the hassle”. The Chariot, on the other hand, suggests he could also see this kind of experience as a lot of growth, self-development, self-progress and once he’s on his way, he’s on his way and he will enjoy the ride.

The last pull was the 8 of Flowers, 7 of Flowers and Page of Flowers. Interesting how most of the cards are from the Flowers suit, the one with the fire energy and the action energy. 8 of Flowers represents things changing fast and intensely. This could be telling us he might actually prefer the more spontaneous trips, the ones decided last minute (when he can, of course), without thinking too much or planning too much. Shorter trips might feel better for him too. 7 of Flowers is another card of conflict, but more like an inner conflict. Since he is indecisive (like he’s said before), planning and thinking where to go and what to do might give him anxiety and bring out his indecisiveness at full force. This card also makes me think that, once he finally makes up his mind, he will be one to push for his ideas to be accepted and he might be stubborn too and hold his ground to defend that his plan for the day is the best. The Page of Flowers shows him becoming an energetic and overly excited boy that will be willing to try everything and explore everything he can about the place.

So in the end, he probably feels like a proper vacation would be a great idea, full of action, excitement and joy. However, he could also feel like it requires a lot of physical and mental strength, which is understandable.