#this whole scene is one of the best in the entire play holy fuck

[mythalism]

in my rook hating mindset now after that post this morning and cannot stop thinking about how they are literally the worst protagonist maybe in any story i have ever experienced JRHGKJERHGJERG. and like if you love your rook i am not saying you shouldn't. if you love your rook i am so so happy for you genuinely but you are also probably brilliant and have a huge brain because what the game gives you to build off of is so abysmal.

i literally cannot stop thinking about how insane it is that rook literally causes a double blight and worldwide catastrophe on a scale which thedas has not seen probably since the creation of the veil itself and just. experiences no remorse. and the story tries to tell us thats a good thing and makes them better than the villain/their foil. JHREGJKHERGJKHERG. HELLO?!!??!?!?! literally no one ever goes "hey maybe you shouldnt have done that" except solas and hes framed as the VILLAIN!!! WHAT!!!!!!!!!! hawke blames themselves for not putting the pieces together fast enough when a bouquet of white lilies arrived at their door? the narrative gleefully condemn anders with the immediate opportunity to kill him for his crimes. nearly every single character in origins immediately puts the entirety of the responsibility for the fifth blight on loghain's shoulders, regardless of the CLEAR SUGGESTION that the battle at ostagar could never have been won. and all of these makes sense for the world and characters!!!!! of course hawke would blame themselves for their families deaths when they were given the role of protector by leandra after malcom dies. of course the city of kirkwall is going to want anders dead for his extreme act of violence rather than start the uncomfortable process of acknowledging the beloved chantry's complicity in large scale abuse happening in the mage circles!!!! of course alistair and the warden are going to blame loghain for the blight and cailan's death!!!! it doesnt matter if they are right or wrong, it makes sense for their perspective and worldview to feel this way!!!!

have yall gotten the low approval conversations in inquisition????? solas's "Inquisitor. Tell me. How does it feel? Being you. Are you blissfully unaware or, deep inside, is some part of you banging on the walls, screaming?" cassandra getting drunk and practically spitting in your face how she regrets raising you up to such power? blackwalls' "Are you proud of yourself, of what you’ve built here? How about the lives you’ve destroyed along the way? Given much thought to those lately? Is this Inquisition all you wanted it to be? Because I’m disappointed. All I see is a gang of thugs led by a self-serving tyrant." and these SCATHING comments from those who once believed in the inquisitor enough to join their cause come from decisions that affect a fraction of the population that dies under the southern double blight. people will rip the inquisitior to fucking shreds when they fuck up. THATS THE ENTIRE POINT OF THE TRESPASSER DLC EHRGKJHERGKJHERG. like holy shit every decision carries the weight of "oh my god whos gonna hate me. who is going to die because of my choice. how is this going to come back to bite me." have we forgotten what its like to return to varric after leaving hawke in the fade and confess what we did? the call we just made? to look him in the eye and tell him that we sacrificed his best friend? WHY IS ROOK NEVER ASKED TO PARTICIPATE IN ANY OF THIS INTROSPECTION?????????? TO EVALUATE HOW THEIR DECISIONS AFFECT THOSE AROUND THEM BOTH PERSONALLY AND SOCIETY AS A WHOLE????? OH MY GODDDDD

the regret prison scene is so insane. first its insane because its solas at his best and most cunty. but secondly it makes no fucking sense even if im largely distracted by pookie being fun and villainous. solas tries desperately to play up rook's regrets during their conversations and we are supposed to believe that it was that manipulation that allowed him to swap with them in the prison. how does this actually work? blood magic? dont worry about it, kitten. but then when we get into the prison.... the only two regrets that manifest are things that just happened within the last 3 hours - your two party sacrifices. lets be clear that these are not even real sacrifices because literally all of these people volunteer to go and then argue about why they should go. this is so fucking stupid. then rook looks at the statues and says "i dont regret this because this was your choice". YEAH????? OF COURSE YOU DONT FUCKING REGRET IT WHY WOULD YOU. HELLO???? THIS WAS NOT ROOKS CHOICE THIS WAS ROOK JUST SAYING "SURE I GUESS". AND THEN THATS ENOUGH! THEY JUST LEAVE BC THEY CONQUERED THEIR REGRETS!?!?!?!?!??! WHAT!!!!!! there is no discussion of rook being responsible for the blight in the south that we find out via ooc inquisitior letter has KILLED LITERALLY EVERYONE. no suggestion that their recklessness and willingness to act WITHOUT ALL THE INFORMATION at the ritual is the reason for every single thing the evanuris do following their release.

and let me be very clear bc i know this was causing drama on twitter last week. i am not saying the double blights is rook's fault. i actually dont think it is their fault, although i do think they are stupid and reckless and shouldn't have acted so carelessly. but although rook is responsible for ghilly and edgar breaking free, rook is not responsible for the their actions following that freedom, and rook is not at fault for being put into an impossible situation (the need to stop solas's ritual) without all of the information on what the ritual was and what stopping it might incur. however, the double blight is rook's fault in the same way that the veil, the fall of the elvhen empire, elven mortality, and every demon's existence is solas's fault; which is to say, it is and it is not. solas was backed into a corner, in a desperate situation without knowledge of the potential consequences, and was forced to make a decision for the good of the world when he imprisoned the evanuris and blight with the veil. rook was backed into a corner, in a desperate situation without knowledge of the potential consequences, and was forced to make a decision for what they thought was the good of the world when they interrupted solas's ritual. but while solas feels immense guilt and responsibility for the choice he made, rook feels.... absolutely none. and the game tells us that... they're right? people should just not take accountability for anything? i will give credit where it's due here that varric's contribution to this scene is quite good and his line where rook tries to take responsibility for his death and varric says smth like "no, that was my own choice and you dont get to take that from me" is B A N G E R. WHERE WAS THAT ENERGY IN THE REST OF THIS FUCKING GAME!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?

THAT was the lesson solas needed to learn, not that his regret was wrong but that it was MISPLACED!!!!!!!!! and that is why it is mythal acknowledging that their burden is shared and not his alone is the culmination of his entire story and what finally allows him to move on. pride stands alone, wisdom seeks out the input of others to make an informed and wise decision. this is also why he leaves such breadcrumbs for the inquisitor (a high approval one, at least) because he respects their opinion and their input and their existence and the way they treat him turns him back into wisdom from pride. this is why a romanced inquisitor mentions his name being pride and how its possible that hes not even CAPABLE of changing his mind because it would be so against his nature, and he needs someone whose opinion he values to show him the way. his flaw is his SELF INFLICTED LONELINESS!!!!! NOT HIS REGRET. varric even fucking says this in some random banter you get with his ghost in the infirmary but im too lazy to go find it on my desktop. its something about how he sees attachments as a weakness rather than a strength. his pride causes him to take on responsibility that is not his, his wisdom -> pride corruption has led him to believe he is the only one capable of fixing the world's problems and he will destroy both himself and those he loves in the process. he asserts that he is just a man but is unable to stop making decisions for the world like a god.

THIS is the solas/rook foil that should have been: rook relies on their friends and that reliance is ESSENTIAL; after all, the neve/bellara and davrin/harding sacrifice is essential to win. in contrast solas refuses to rely on anyone, and this isolation makes him increasingly cruel. when he has no one to mirror the way a spirit should, he becomes Pride, too proud and too god-like. his attachments make him more human. he is terrified of depending on others and will kill them rather than risk the vulnerability of dependence after what it has done to him (mythal, felassan). he has to unlearn this avoidance and fear, he has to admit that there "could have been a better way" that someone else saw and he did not. he must learn that he does not have all the answers. he is not Pride. its NOT that rook doesnt experience regret and doesn't take accountability for mistakes while solas is trapped by his own regrets. the message we got instead is so incoherent. but it was SO CLOSE TO BEING GOOD. the bones of this are littered everywhere in both the game and in the datamined content and for some reason it just could not be brought together in a way that makes sense.

the message that rook is "right" and better for not having regrets is genuinely insane, especially when the "regrets" they have to conquer are literally just. other peoples decisions. the fact that rook has the audacity to say to solas that he could never escape the prison while they could so easily because he is trapped by his own regret as if rook is better than him is genuinely so fucking dumb it makes me want to claw my eyes out for having been forced to read it. rook sacrifices nothing and learns nothing. the sacrifices within the game belong to the characters that make them, rook does not order people to their deaths in the same way that solas or even THE INQUISITOR do. rook never is asked to grapple with the fact that they ACCIDENTALLY unleashed a double blight, no matter how good their intentions. WHY DOES NO ONE BLAME THEM FOR THIS???? regardless of if it is their fault or not, the objective truth of fault does not matter, what matters is that you make decisions and PEOPLE JUDGE YOU FOR THEM!!!!!!!!! THIS IS LIKE FOUNDATIONAL TO THESE GAMES JEHRGJKREHGJKRHG. this is what the entire game is about doing to solas. judging him. based on his choices. and the game clearly wants you to have empathy for him in the end. but its so OBVIOUS that the vessel for building up that empathy should have been ROOK EXPERIENCING THE SAME THING!!! THE SAME JUDGEMENT!!! THE SAME GROWTH!!!!! FEELING THE BURDEN OF THE WORLD ON THEIR SHOULDERS. FEELING THE DREAD OF GUILT AND SHAME AND REGRET. TRYING TO DEFEND THEIR INTENTIONS!!! I DIDNT MEAN TO I DIDNT MEAN TO IT WAS A MISTAKE!!!! LEARNING THAT THEY HAVE TO OWN UP TO IT BUT THEY ALSO HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO MOVE FORWARD!!!!!! HELLO!??!?!?!?! they BARELY even express remorse for the treviso/minrathous sacrifice, even when faced with neve/lucanis's anger they just go "a decision had to be made and i made it". well. YEAH? LIKE YEAH THATS RIGHT BUT HUMANS HAVE FEELINGS??? YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE A PERSON, NOT A BLANK SLATE VIDEO GAME PROTAGONIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS OKAY TO FEEL BAD!!!! YOU MADE A DECISION THAT RESULTED IN PEOPLE DYING. ANY HUMAN BEING WOULD FEEL BAD ABOUT THIS. ITS KIND OF FUCKING WEIRD THAT YOU DO NOT. HOW IS ROOK JUST BORN BEING OK WITH THIS. ITS SO ROBOTIC AND ARTIFICIAL LOL

rooks actions are such a clear, perfect parallel to solas putting up the veil and the guilt that haunts him afterwards that i KNOW it was intended that way and somehow it just got completely shafted. it literally feels like they did have a coherent parallel going and for some reason were forced to change directions last minute and thus we got some mish mashed barely cobbled together incoherent nonsense with clear echoes of its former self. instead rook has no flaws, makes perfect judgements at all time, has unconditional support from all of their friends who also make perfect judgements, are immune to making mistakes, and the message is its actually just really easy to not have regrets if you just choose right every time and refuse to take responsibility for anything as long as you had good intentions :D

[thesarcasticism]

LMAOOOOO

[ironunderstands]

2.1 was so good holy shit (spoilers, obviously)

GOD THEY ATE AND IM SPECIFICALLY GONNA TALK ABOUT HOW WELL THEY WROTE RATIO IN THIS BECAUSE IM FOAMING AT THE GODDAMN MOUTH IT CHANGES HOW YOU VIEW EVERYTHING BUT IN A GOOD WAY.

so, let’s start from the beginning in 2.0 I want to walk you through my experience of it

ratio mean to aventurine, everyone gets mad. I feel weird about it, pre-2.1 I come to the conclusion that he got used as a plot device in that scene, since being racist contradicts his core motivations and the dialogue is awkward and has no real reason behind it, I chalk it up to bad writing but ultimately forgive it because 2.1 seems centered around Aventurine so they need setup for that

2.1 drops, my bsf plays the update throughout the night and we are losing our shit. He gets to the part where Ratio “betrays” Aventurine. I fucking lose it, I try to reconcile this with my preconceived notions of ratio, they don’t match up at all, his behavior that whole time doesn’t in the slightest. I am confused, I wonder if I have been wrong about him this whole time, if his whole speech on the Space Station and his character quests were some kind of fluke. I mean it could be in character? Knowledge of how a stellaron works could save millions if not billions of lives, invaluable information which Ratio would have trouble turning down because of its value. It still feels deeply wrong, Ratio isnt a backstabber, and he wouldn’t so easily bargain with Sunday over information he has no confirmation of (and could likely obtain in some other way).

The story continues, me and Haseeb (aforementioned best friend) are still pissed, I’m losing it because my favorite character just did something so unforgivable and out of character and I feel like a complete and utter idiot for interpreting a character to be a good person when they so clearly weren’t. Well, I (luckily) was so so so so so so so wrong about that, as it was all a setup, a plan devised by Aventurine to distract Sunday and forward their goals. I’ve never been happier, and suddenly every weird behavior, every “this doesn’t make sense” goes from “bad writing” to perhaps one of my favorite retroactive twists in fiction.

Ratio belittling Aventurine for his background doesn’t make any sense, I mean we literally saw the guy give a whole ass speech about how he believes all people deserve access to knowledge and that everyone is capable of being creative and having intellect, but that they just have to try for it, and if they are incapable of it, he DOCTOR Ratio is there to lend a helping hand. To cure the galaxy of stupidity, something which he views as not the lack of knowledge but rather the misuse and misinterpretation of it, how he depises the Genius Society because they mostly do not try and use their intellect from the betterment of other, and actively guide/encourage other scientists (and in Hertas case the researchers at the space station) to view knowledge as some sort of prize or commodity rather than tool. This notion is what causes Screwellum to acknowledge that Ratio is more like a medical doctor than a scholar. And this notion is something Sunday Isn’t Aware Of.

Sunday doesn’t know who Ratio really is, he may have heard of his various exploits, but Ratio has a reputation for arrogance, bluntness and insensitivity, something which Ratio plays up to the nines. The 2.0 scene with Aventurine goes from seemingly massively OOC for Ratio to him actively playing up his negative reputation to play into Sundays perceptions of the pair for their plan. Ratio->

a) makes it seem like Aventurine fucked up and he’s mad at him for losing the cornerstones, something which Sunday would see and go “hmm they don’t like each other

b) this “oh I can drive a wedge between them” notion gets worse (although in their case better) when Ratio brings up Aventurine’s (not entirely accurate) background. Sunday now thinks he has leverage over Aventurine and even more of a chance of getting Ratio to betray him. Ratio also makes it seem like he just learned this information by stating he “did his homework” and this supposed unfamiliarity with one another would give Sunday more confidence to try and drive a wedge between them

c) this makes it seem like the IPC are unaware of the Families constant surveillance, as it looks like they are having an important conversation in a private room, which would make Sunday think they are unaware of his eyes and ears everywhere

Now let me qualify this notion with more evidence because you could still try and argue that the deal Ratio and Aventurine struck was post 2.0 argument

Topaz (my glorious Queen). At the end of the 1.4 (or was it 1.5?) Belabog quest she has a conversation with Aventurine in which he requests for her help in Penacony, and we do not get a confirmation on if she said yes or not. Until 2.1, in which the the Topaz (and Jade) stone in in Aventurines possession, meaning she took him up on that offer prior to 2.0 because how else would he bring multiple cornerstones there, which we know there are many because Ratio says he lost the cornerstones, not just his own. Topaz would not give this item up easily or on a whim in between 2.0 and 2.1, meaning she would have to be let in on his plan prior, meaning the plan was formed prior. Since Ratio was also assigned to this mission keeping him in the dark would make negative sense and actively undermine their collaboration, something which he brings up in their fake argument

2. The Final Victory Lightcone. I originally thought this scene to be after their argument for complicated reasons, the most important of which being the minor snippet of conversation we see between Ratio and Aventurine during the first time we meet Acheron. Aventurine mentions 3 chips, Ratio doubts him, and the lightcone description starts with Aventurine questioning his doubt and firing three shots, a perfect correlation that made me place the order of events in that way. However, we get to see the snippet of conversation between Aventurine and Ratio in game, right before they meet Sunday, not prior to the lightcone events. However, they are still clearly connected for aforementioned reasons, just in a different manner, let me explain. Now we know the three chips reference not bullets but the three cornerstones, and Ratio openly expresses his doubt because the family is always watching (something which I will get into) and because a part of him does doubt this plan will go well. However, Aventurine prior reminds him of the events of the lightcone with the three chips. My interpretation is that Aventurine took that gamble in the lightcone to convince Ratio to go along with his crazy plan since if he can win a game of Russian Roulette with an unwavering smile on his face he an insane gamble means nothing to him (ratio doesn’t buy it because it’s ratio but the sheer audacity or you could say the “charming audacity” makes him go along with it). In my opinion this scene only makes sense pre-penacony, due to the timeline of events, which is why I believe it the reason for the events in it has to be Aventurine trying to convince Ratio to join in.

3) The family is always watching. During the 2.1 story quest it gets brought up several times in many different ways that it seems like the family has eyes on everything and everyone. Sunday’s fuckass bird is everywhere, and the man himself (minus being a goddamn biblically accurate angel) is covered in eye shaped shit and possesses close ties with the Harmony, which lends itself well to a character that knows things considering the Aeon itself is a conglomeration of many different perspectives. He fucking perception checks Aventurine, when the crew goes to look for info on firefly they learn the dream pools monitor people’s vitals and everything, even producing a dialogue option where the trailblazer states they feel like their every move is being watched. Topaz gets stalked by bloodhound members upon arrival, I could go on. TLDR Sunday knows almost everything that’s going on in Penacony, this is what leads him to believe the traitor is within the family, and his access to knowledge is something the IPC 100% knows about. I mean they have been presumably attempting to try and get it back for a while, and they would reasonably extensively try and learn everything about it. The Family notoriously hates negotiating with them so the IPC either learning and/or coming to the conclusion that the Family is watching their every move isn’t a ridiculous notion. If this conversation was genuine, if Ratio truly wanted to discuss this matter with Aventurine, why would he do it in a likely wiretapped, not very soundproof room where any passerby could hear Ratio loudly exclaim that Aventurine lost the very important cornerstones and that he is also one of the most despised groups in the galaxy because that would really do numbers for both their reputations. If you think about it, this not being staged is an incredibly stupid blunder on Ratio’s end (minus the deliberate OOCness) because of all the places Ratio could set up a very important meeting he does it in one of the worst places ever.

4) The dialogue in the scene. It’s awkward, it’s so awkward and the whole “also my family died I didn’t get an education” seemed so tacked on the first time I watched it. Knowing now, it seemed so tacked on because it was, Aventurine had to shove the info in there somewhere and their incredible conversational skills decided that was the best part in there. Ratio fucking leaving before Aventurine is even done talking goes from a “huh weird” to a “wow he is really playing up this arrogant scholar role”. And if Ratio is playing the arrogant scholar, Aventurine is playing the dumb, helpless, blonde to a T. Losing the cornerstones and acting nonchalant about it, letting Ratio insult him so callously and letting the insults slide, talking absolute nonsense at the end about random things that don’t matter, sadly lamenting into the distance that he’s alone again. Bro is playing it up and I live for it. They also and play up these personas in their little adventure prior to meeting Sunday, Aventurine asks stupid questions like wondering about the species of the bird that make up the statues and talking about how he wants to play in the sandpit and even insulting Sunday a bit, behavior that would make Sunday think him unprepared and unserious rather than cold and calculating. If Aventurine does that well, Ratio plays up his arrogant, uncaring scholar persona to the nines. He insults any and every decision or thing Aventurine does, loudly sighing of how happy he is to finally have some peace and quiet when Aventurine leaves his sight for 0.00008 milleseconds, pointing out his sarcasm, beefing with a random Pepeshi bodyguard no reason, pointing out his sarcasm, just the exaggerated way he talks in general, and suggesting he admit Aventurine into the Genius Society (even Ratio wouldn’t stoop so low as to suggest Aventurine was worthy of that).

Moreover, this is really, really tragic because I do think there are several moments of genuine banter and fun the two share “Ratio, you’re huge!” was not added to the script to enhance the plot guys. And obviously Aventurine knows most of Ratios behavior is acting, however he has such severe trust issues, and Ratio is so damn straightforward and blunt that he worries the man was serious about some of it which just breaks my heart. Soft Ratio please add it give me one conversation, the note at the end of 2.1 doesn’t count it’s too short.

Ultimately, knowing what I know now I can’t help but view the 2.0 conversation with Aventurine as being anything but staged, it simply makes no sense otherwise, and it happily obsolescent Ratio of his sins. This was a bit incoherent I honestly just wanted to rant (if you couldn’t tell haha) but I hope you enjoyed it regardless. I need sincere Ratio more then I need oxygen and I’m not afraid to say it.

[amourtoken]

a thought: cnc primal as fuck noah

maybe u went on a cute little walk by yourself through the forest… but it ends with him ‘stumbling across you’ on your walk and chasing you through the forest until he catches you, throws you on the ground or against a tree and then absolutely fucking destroys you w his cock 😌

(he obviously has the mask on btw)

((help it’s 7am why am i like this))

Ive been thinking abt this for fucking days bc holy shit???? I love him???? Sorry if I got carried away w this one I intended for it to be short and it is not bc the worms in my brain took over 😌

He's bigger, much stronger and way faster than you. It's honestly cute that you really thought you had a chance at outrunning him In the first place which is why he agreed to the scene anyway.

You'd nearly begged for him to give in and participate in this new kink of yours and he's happy to but he's gonna do it in his own way. He probably waits a few weeks just so it's not as fresh in your mind to actually set the whole thing in motion.

He kept up with your schedule for a while, he wanted to catch you at your most off guard moment possible and he was sure he found that when you were out for a walk like usual these past few days since the weather had taken a nicer turn. You'd pretty much forgotten your whole agreement with Noah by now so that's why it was such a shock when you were literally lifted off your feet with a hand over your mouth.

You probably would've heard the extra footsteps behind you if you hadn't had headphones in but he knew you weren't the most spatially aware person alive and that helps in this situation (he's gonna give you a whole lecture about being more careful once this is over, trust.)

You tried your best to squirm in his hold but you really weren't making much progress, especially when your face was pressed up against the rough surface of a nearby tree so Noah could drag your athletic shorts down your legs. His free hand held your arms behind your back and pressed you firmly against the tree, you were fighting for your life but it took him essentially no effort to keep you still, pathetic on your part but it's not your fault he's so strong.

He nudged your legs further apart with one of his and really couldn't help but admire you for a moment. Even in a harsh scene you're still the prettiest person alive to him but he has a goal here. You whined when you felt him brush the tip of his cock against your pussy, aside from the fact you had no prep at all you were on a trail where literally anyone could pass by at any time and it made your knees even weaker.

"Really? Dripping for me and I haven't even touched you. You're supposed to be scared of me, yknow?"

"Need dick so bad you'll just let anyone fuck you raw anywhere? Such a slut."

"Such a dumb little whore, you should really be more careful out here. Maybe this'll teach you, yeah?"

Noah's hand over your mouth barely muffled the sounds that fell from your lips when he actually filled you up, you almost forgot you were supposed to be playing along. The stretch of his cock always left a pleasant ache, it felt like he radiated through your entire body. The rough texture of the tree in front of you was making your eyes water while he held you against it, every thrust pushing you forward. At this point you didn't even mind, the feeling of him brushing your cervix was fogging up your brain anyway.

"gonna fuckin' cum- ah- gonna fill this pretty pussy up- tell me you fucking want it, wanna hear you beg for it-"

he always gets so talkative when he's near his end, again he nearly forgets he's supposed to be playing along as well. The hand over your mouth moves to your throat, making your voice hoarse as you follow his request of begging him to cum inside you. He was squeezing tight enough to make little black spots flit around the corners of your vision and it only got worse when he slid a hand between your legs to force you to your end as well.

It didn't take very long to have you teary eyed and shaking as you came undone on his dick, and he followed shortly after. He didn't linger, pulling out of you and sticking around just long enough to watch his cum drip down your legs before disappearing down the trail again. You were left half naked and trembling, heart still racing while you tried to re dress before anyone could see you.

(If I were more awake I could rewrite this to be rougher so expect to see a pt. 2 shortly)

[ginger-berrie]

SO I JUST SAW FALSETTOS LIVE FOR THE FIRST TIME

HOLY SHIT OKAY. HEY GUYS I JUST GOT BACK FROM SEEING FALSETTOS. LIVE. MY FAVOROITE MUSICAL EVER. I HAVE WORDS TO SAY.

So firstly I of course have to say this musical is fucking phenomenal and if u havent seen it even on youtube you HAVE to. onne of the best musicals ever wrutten. ignore any typos in this my hands r still shaking and im not editing htis. OKAY.

The actors. It was a college level production but the actors were so so talented. My favorite performances were from Mendel and Jason, who both pulled off their roles INCREDIBLY. Mendel was like a carbon copy of Brandon Uranowitz he had his mannerisms DOWN. All the nervous ticks, touching his face, being generally so awkward all the time, even his face was just perfec t for the role. And Jason was played by an adult femme-presenting person but they were so good as him!!!!! their voice fit him perfectly and she also perfectly encompassed Jason;s awkward childlike nature. The entire cast was incredible but those two really stood out to me!!!! Everyone's singing voices as well were fantastic, especially Trina's—she KILLED the high notes and even sung up the octave on a few lines !!!! including the "but still the bastard divorced me" and she still belted the "you must exorcise a devil" even AFTER Im Breaking Down. In fucking sane.

THAT BEING SAID THOUGH. Even though i enjouyed every second of it I do wanna make some more analysis-related directing critiques because im fucked up and evil about this show . im so sorry just let me speak here meaout. Stating right now though I've only seen the 2016 revival (about 2 dozen times) and not the original 90's version (been meaning to watch it just havent gotten the chance) so i reserve all TRUE judgement until after I see it!!! maybe some of these choices were in the original but tbh if they were i still like how the revival did it better. okay i swear im not just one of those ppl who is like "tHaTS noT hOw ThEY dId iT On BroADwAy" calm down. thanks <3

First of all. Some of the scenes lacked energy !!!!! Thrill of first love had no homoerotic choreography!!!!! they just kinda sat there on the couch looking morose and barely looking at each other as if they truly just hate each other and feel ANYthing towards each other anymore at all. But thats not the point!!!!!! They dont fully hate each other theyre just lacking the excitement that they once had and it's been replaced with nothing but disagreements and sex. When Whizzer and Marvin do their gay little dance theyre not just dancing and being gross and sexual theyre also FIGHTING!!!! they still care about each other they just dont know how to act!!!! and marvin's a bitch of course. Marvin was still very much a bitch. But because of the lack of energy in this song there was a bit of a lack of chemistry between the two as well, which carried through the whole show. I feel like it's important to see just how gross fucked up n nasty these two are about each other to see how its truly affecting the other people in Marvin's life. Even their chemistry during the chess game was lacking. They just kinda felt like they really hated each other. Which isnt the pointtttttt. Guh

Trina (or the directors idk) also made some choices I wasn't 100% on board with but they were more subtle. Mostly in her tone about Mendel. Up through Please Come To Our House she seemed to really really like Mendel. Like it was clear she was attempting to woo him. But then when he was proposing, and when they were maknig their home together, she just seemed. Unenthused. I know Trina truly doesn't really love her life, and just needs the stability of a nuclear family, but it was odd to see her not even attempt to keep up the facade on her own. Her and Mendel were similarly lacking in a lot of chemistry because of this, which, maybe to some of you makes sense but to me i do want to see them be close even if Mendel isn't absolutely the best.

LAST CRITIQUE OKAY. This one is BIG SPOILERS if u havent seen it yet but probably if ur reading this far youve already seen it okay. The fuckign bar mitzvah!!!!! There was no acknowledgement from Whizzer to Jason as he was reading his Torah !!!!!!! He just layed there in the hospital bed, facing AWAY from the audience so we could only see the very top of his head (which was on purpose for a quick change but) and he didnt get up at all to thank Jason or even acknowledge him :( for all the audience knows maybe he didnt even see Jason get bar mitzvahd. screaming crying throwing up.

OKAY IM DONE W BEING MEAN HERES A BIG CHANGE I REALLY LOVED !!!!!! as well as some smaller changes that i also really liked or were jsut neutral things i noticed

For most of act 2, up until Days Like This, They had this really cool circus imagery? Now once again idk if this is in the OG, but they had a picture of each cluster of characters set up on either side of the stage, and each of them was doing some sort of circus act both in the pictures and on stage, especially during A Day in Falsettoland. When a character was having their point in the song, they'd sometimes cut the lights briefly and suddenly the characters would be struggling to perform their little circus act, and each of them had a differnt one respectively and they all represented their immaturities/flaws/struggles:

Jason was on stilts, representing his need to grow up and perhaps his perceived mental maturity compared to the other characters

Trina was balancing/spinning plates on sticks, representing her need to keep balance and order in her life

Marvin + Whizzer were fencers because of their lingering animosity, yet newfound respect, for one another. Fencing isnt a dangerous sport, like you dont actually hurt your opponent in it, but it;s still a fight and youre still pointoing a weapon at them. guh. (AND BTW they did this during the racquetball scene and HOLY SHIT. I just gotta describe this one. Racquetball number 1 They had their little racquets as they were singing to each other but then when they got really into the game the lights would cut and then theyd be FENCING each other instead!!!!! and then the lights would cut again and itd go back to racquetball!!!! BUT THEN in the racquetball number 2 when it cut to them fencing ONLY MARVIN HAD A SWORD. WHIZZER STILL HAD HIS RACQUET. GIUUHUHGGHGHGHGHGH.;..,.,/;;'.';.;'[[[.)

Then the lesbians from next door were like a duo balancing/acrobatics act where they were always leaning on each other and picking each other up which was cute but also like. Charlotte would start falling in one direction and Cordelia would have to scrambke to catch her. I always hail them as the healthiest couple in the show but sometimes i forget they have problems too, like Cordelia;s insecurity and Charlotte's stress over the virus of course.

And finally Mendel!!!! was the fucking ringmaster!!!!! He had a hoop and a top hat and every time he was trying to calm down Jason (Everyone Hates His Parents), or Caroline, or Trina (A Day in Falsettoland), he would appear with his hoop and top hat, to show that HE is the one who needs to "control" other people's lives, or at least he feels the need to direct them. Mendel of course needs to feel like he's smarter than everyone else and like he's the only one who can help people. It really drove that home and it was an insane realization to come to. Phenomenal directing choice idk who came up with that but. bravissimo to you

Now miscellaneous stuff i liked or noticed!!!

They didn't have the big ol foam block. just some couch ends that they moved around to be diff pieces of furniture. If you've ever seen Waiting In The Wings' analysis on falsettos you might have seen a comment in the youtube section discussing how in the set design for the revival, the lack of real furniture through most of the show represents the lack of maturity of the characters, and as things get serious for them, more real props and set pieces get added. Like the chess board, the decor for Mendel + Trina's home, Whizzer's suitcase, the whole hospital room, etc. They didn't lean into that with this but i think that's fine! its not a necessary detail in my opinion and they did their best with what they had!!

Marvin didn't hand whizzer the suitcase after the chess game. He just grabbed it, and packed it himself. I was waiting for him to slam it into whizzer's chest or something. but no. Whizzer just picked it up and walked off. okay. Neutral bad change imo

Marvin's performances of What would I do and What more can i Say were. Breathtaking. Marvin actor if you're out there reading this your voice is lovely and carries so much emotion in your solo numbers. I Did Cry. a little bit

god their group number harmonies were AMAZING. All of the cast members' voices blended together so well and it was absolutely beautiful. the whole show was beautiful and i adored it i swear. I jsut need somwhere to put my feelings

THE ORCHESTRA FUCKED. IT FUCKED

Okay its getting late now and im fading quickly BUT IF U READ THIS FAR UR INSANE. This is for me and nobody else i just eneded to feelings dump. tl;dr: i fucking lvoe falsettos this was one of the best nights of my life i love you actors i love you pit i love you lighting i love you run crew i love you sound crew i love you musical theatre

[freshwarrior757]

Played Class of 09 Flip Side last week...man, that sucked

I was honestly given high hopes for The Flip Side, and since my Class of 09 drawing that I made for Flip side is getting a lot of likes, I figured I'd make a post reviewing the game.

Pros:

The voice acting was incredible. Kayli Mills really gave her all in the therapy scenes, I actually felt heartbroken for her.

The FYE route was good up until the end...I'll talk about that in a bit.

The 7 seconds part was pretty funny.

Trody is still best boi

Emo Jecka

The Hatman

The Nicole Suicide route was one of the biggest requests for the Flip Side, and at least he listened to the fans on that. It was even more awfully crushing when seen from Jecka's perspective.

That's about all the good. Now the bad:

The foot stuff. That was like, a third of the game, and it was barely even funny the first time. If they were gonna do something like this, the least they could have done was not show the actual foot stuff taking place. In The Re-up, they didn't show Nicole having sex with men as a MySpace escort, and it honestly made the point even better (I'll talk more about this later). It's pretty obvious that SBN3 was just putting his fetish in to spite people.

The Dad was just tiring. I mean, his character was a good depiction of an abuser, but the joke honestly just got boring. It's like SBN3 saw how popular the "I WANNA FUCKING KILL MY WIFE" scene was, and decided to make that joke an entire character.

The jokes just felt off. The edginess was there, but it was all edge, no point. The "Flip a coin" scene was funny, as was the "7 seconds" scene and some others, but it kinda felt like SBN3 just got burnt out, or he fired his ghostwriter (I don't doubt that he wrote the game, but I'm pretty sure he had some help with some of the jokes).

The FYE Route had a bizarre-ass ending after all that good buildup.

Crispin did nothing but get insulted the whole game, even when he tried to help Jecka.

Mr. Katz became a pedophile because SBN3 didn't like the fact that Reddit liked him. He was one of the only male teachers who wasn't a pedophile, he was just a crackhead. But they had to massacre his character too.

The characters felt kinda...out of character. Nicole HATES men, like absolutely DESPISES them. She engages with men to manipulate them, and she only engaged in sexual acts with men when she was homeless, on drugs, and had literally no other options. She would never willingly try to have sex with a 50 year old man.

Also, she didn't get mad at Jecka for refusing to let her stay at her house when she was homeless, and she didn't get mad when Jecka refused to help her get revenge on Megan, or sell crack, or do some of the other stuff. But you're telling me she's gonna engage in sexual acts with her father because...Jecka didn't cut Nicole in on one of her jobs?! People may point to the Megan route in The Re-up, but Megan was a bitch to her for most of their interactions, whereas Jecka was Nicole's only real friend. Plus, she just asked Hunter for dick pics, she didn't actually try to have sex with him like she did with Jecka's dad.

To add on to this: The FYE Route had like, the weirdest and worst ending: Being sex trafficked by the Taliban. The other games were believable, even if the White Supremacist ending was kinda exaggerated. But holy crap, this made no sense.

Nicole gets kicked out by her mom and has to resort to selling her body? It's pretty fucked up, but it's really happened to people. Jecka finds out that FYE has a massive illegal porn stash they use to keep men in control, and gets sold to the Taliban as a sex slave to keep her quiet? It makes zero sense.

To add on to the last two things: The endings were not good. They were:

Jeffery OD's and Jecka becomes more toxic as a result of relying on Nicole

Nicole has "foot-sex" with Jecka's dad, and Jecka kills herself

Jecka drunk-drives and kills Ari

Nicole commits suicide, leaving Jecka all alone

Jecka gets sold to the Taliban, and Kelly fucking dies.

I mean seriously. Even the past two games had SOME good endings: Nicole becomes a YouTuber, Nicole becomes Valedictorian, Nicole graduates and becomes a better person, Nicole exposes a racist teacher...this game just felt like torture porn of Jecka.

I swear to God this anime better get picked up by Prime or Netflix or something like that, cuz I'll be damned if the series dies like this.

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 1 - Side A

Galahad art credit @spiralstain

Propaganda below ⬇️

Junk Rat

I wish his Catholicism meant if he got killed in game it would take him 3 days to respawn

Galahad

OKAY SO . "Galahad (played by Jonny d'Ville): a travelling preacher/religious zealot who is told to sit in the Siege Seat by Merlin, and discovers the fact that Fort Galfridian is falling into the star Avalon. He sparks the quest for the GRAIL, and willingly goes to his death to overcome its final defences." DUDE SAT IN THE CHAIR THAT IS KNOWN FOR KILLING PEOPLE BECAUSE HIS CRUSH [MERLIN] [AKA HANGED MAN] [AKA DRUMBOT BRIAN] TOLD HIM TO . SORRY I THINK THATS REALLY FUNNY. he found out the whole shitshow of a spacestation he lived on was gonna fall into the sun and he went around yelling about it incomprehensibly and got fucking gunned down trying to get the GRAIL and just kept going through the gunfire because of how Religious [tm] he was . he died . in once and future king it just "galahad's blind faith" . also hellfire goes really hard . he is the definition of going insane with the knowledge of the universe . also jonny dville played him thats bonus points

There was a prophet. The prophet gave three separate people three separate instructions. 1. Stop being racist 2. Love your son 3. Sit in the Chair That Makes People Insane Galahad received number three. He was the only one who followed the instructions. He sat in the Chair That Makes People Insane, saw the sun for the first time, and immediately starts preaching about how everyone will burn in hellfire

i dont know anything about this guy i just wanna help make Kai happy please dont like not count my submission just because i dont know anythinf except for the Kills You Chair im trying my best im sorry 😭

his themesong is called hellfire and it slaps btw go listen to it. anyways he is my blorbo blingus he is Deeply unwell i could fix him but also whatever is wrong with him is incredibly fascinating to watch. a robot dude who's been hanging from the gallows since forever told him 'hey go sit in the Chair That Kills People Who Sit In It' and he was like 'I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT MY ENTIRE LIFE'. the getting-his-brain-fried thing definitely made him worse but he was also clearly kind of fucked up before that. his death is probably one of my favorite scenes in any mechs album. maybe just straight up my favorite. ahem. SAY WHAT YOU WILL ABOUT FAITH, BUT IT CAN HAVE POWERFUL EFFECTS ON THOSE THAT HAVE IT. IT CAN KEEP YOU FROM FALTERING AS THE BULLETS START TO SLAM INTO YOU. IT CAN KEEP YOU WALKING AS YOU LEGS ARE SHOT TO BLOODY STUMPS. IT CAN KEEP YOU LAUGHING AS YOUR LUNGS ARE FILLED WITH SHRAPNEL AND LEAD. IT CAN KEEP YOU SMILING AS HALF YOUR FACE IS BLOWN AWAY. IT CAN KEEP A MAN LIKE GALAHAD STANDING TALL UNTIL THE GUNS. CLICKED. DRY. anyways go listen to high noon over camelot <3

my friends my people my... flock I HAVE HAD A VISION!! A VAST FIERY ORB FLOATIN IN AN ENDLESS VOID!! and there so small so feagile US!!! BUT FALLIN FALLIN FALLIN INTO THE FLAMES!!! your soul is connected to the world youre in youre draggin it down with the weight of your sin surrounded by temptation and y'just give in we're fallin into the flames OF THAT FIRE THAT FIRE THAT HEEEEELLLLLLFIIIRE YOUR BROW BECOMES SLICK AS YOU PERSPIRE YOU THINK YOURE THIRSTY NOW WAIT TIL IT GETS DRIER AND YA FEEL THE HEAT OF THE FLAMES OF THAT FIRE THAT FIRE THAT HELLFIRE YOUR SICK AND SINFUL LIES WILL BUILD A FUNERAL PYRE YOUR PERVERSION SCARS THE STATION SON ITS GONAN FRY HER AND WE ALLLLLL FALL INTO THE FLAMES... oh i have SEEN DAMNATION MY BROTHERS!! ive FELT its searing heat within my VERY BONES !!!!!!! but there is a way me be saved... "OH TELL US FATHER GALAHAD, TELL US" I HEAR YOU CRY "IS IT PIETY IS IT PURITY IS IT VIRTUE?" NO!!! ONLY WAY TO SAVE US NOW IS THE HOLY GRAIL ITSELF... HAHAHAHAHHAAAA.... WELL THAT ORB OF DAMNATION MAKES THE SUN SEEM PALE YOURE QUITE CORRECT TO QUIVER YOU ARE RIGHT TO QUAIL THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE US IS TO FIND THAT GRAIL OR WE ALL FALL INTO THE FLAMES OF THAT FIRE THAT FIRE THAT HELLFIRE YOUR SKIN STARTS TO SIZZLE AS YOU EXPIRE YOU CLAIM TO BE VIRTUOUS BUT YOURE A LIAR !!!!! AND YOU FEEL THE HEAT OF THE FLAMES ... i said HEEEELLLLFIIIIRE HEEEEEEEELLLLFIRE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLFIIIIIREEE HEEEEEEELLLLLLFIIIIIIRE OF THAT FIRE THAT FIRE THAT HELLFIRE AT THE HEART OF THAT INFERNO THAT WILL NEVER TIRE IVE SEE THE END IS NIGH AND DAMNATIONS NIGHER OH WE ALL FALL INTO THE FLAMES

Ok i know this is kind of a shot in the dark because hes so obscure but i need to speak my truth. Hes so insane. The narrator calls him a “holy roller.” He has a vision which is meant to tell him that the place they live is LITERALLY going to get burnt to a crisp because its slowly falling into the sun. But hes like Oh my god i just had a vision of hell i need to save everyone from eternal damnation. And he happily gets killed and turned into a pile of slop because he believes its what he was “chosen to do” he quite literally dies for his religion. Hes also quite funny. I like him. Thank you

[podfeels]

Podfeels Adapt8ion Notes: Episode 6

hello, dare again! just as a reminder for how these posts work, stagelights will be covering the notes as a whole, and if i ever have to pitch in it will be with purple text like this! with that said, lets get back into it!

and here we have it, the final one of season/act 1. i dont know if we ever settled on which its called. seasons internally, acts externally :) we never really cleared up that inconsistency but its not a huge deal so shrug emoji. this episode is some of our best work so far, and i think a lot of the changes help sell that even more.

a bit of a call forward to the next chapter where dirk says the same thing. we also used this in the trailer for the sahcon new years showcase.

this change was done to match the art drawn for the background more closely.

that first bit literally makes no sense in audio and there is no way to adapt it so we changed it. then some narration changes. then im pretty sure that last bit was a typo, so that was fixed lmao. yeah. half-hazard is a sarah-ism we nixed to make the actual word (as much as its a charming sarah-ism, i dont think it was intentionally included by choice by her, just put in by virtue of her writing it) and grub-naking was definitely a typo i think. as for the b's or 8's thing. yeah. that was hell to figure out and we eventually gave up on it after multiple attempts to find ANY way to make it work.

this line wasn’t actually changed, but there was a small addition of the characters in question screaming slash begging for their life or what have you as their name is said. spooky. :)

fairly big change, and i think the change from a photo to a video helps sell more in audio form the impact of junes violence here. its some good shit, and also fucking terrifying holy shit i shuddered while listening back to this for writing these notes. shout outs to the writing team for putting this here. abso-fuckin-lutely, the writing goes so hard. also a big shoutout to my friends who put up with my annoying and loose process to come in as cameo voices for the recording!

you know the drill by now.

there are a BUNCH of changes here. first of all we added a lot of new lines here for the ads, because i think that fits better in audio. all of these lines are voiced by guest actors, including sarah herself, which is pretty neat. then theres a new bit of dialogue here from jane. it being a pre-recorded message helps to sort of keep it ambiguous as to whether she’s alive or not, and helps to sell that this is a crisis the world is taking seriously. it also helps bring things in line with future bits of godfeels, as crockercorp has its hands in many pieces of this version of earth c. then janes voice starts to glitch out and we cut to the terezi call, which had a bunch of changes to reflect the whole “phone calls and not text” thing. 

some changes to help bring the fight scene into place more naturally

This entire fight scene does not show the script in the video version, so i had to manually create the screenshot for this for the sake of the comparison, but this screencap does not do this scene justice. this entire bit of narration was cut and replaced with some INCREDIBLE sound design, which i can’t really get into the sound design part because im not a sound designer. but its really fucking good. shout outs to dare for that.

so, a bit of background on this scene. originally our plan was to have an instrumental sludge metal cover of Sweet by Phemiec, the trickster!Jane song. it was gonna be a tense chase sequence like the original text, but dragged out into a cat and mouse between june and dirk with dirk playing with his food a bit and june having to face the reality of what she did while fearing for her life.

however, when it came time for this to be done, the musician i'd planned this with had something else in mind, intending on a Deftones style altmetal sound instead of the sludge metal previously discussed, and then also life events made her incapable of delivering within any reasonable timeframe anyway before we could settle on which route to go down. so that got scrapped, which is tragic because that plan, sludge or alt, would have been absolutely stunning, but also scrapping it allowed us to make it SO. MUCH. BETTER.

we had already settled on "Game over." as a title, a callback to the last time everyone Fucking Died, also formatted like Dirk's text instead of June's, to show his control over this episode. but following from that name, I realized... we could use the song. from [S] Game Over, CARNE VALE. which also adds more flavor to this ult-dirk depiction, i feel. using a Caliborn song over a Dirk scene reminds the listener that Ult-Dirk is, in fact, Caliborn. He's every instance of Dirk, which includes Lil Hal, which includes Arquisprite, which includes Lord English. So using a Caliborn song here actually resonates REALLY HARD, i think.

as for the sound design, thank you for the praise! im very proud of my work here, the vrillyhoo sounds, syncing the swings to the beat of the song, and using the uprising whistle in the song at one point as a sound effect for the vrillyhoo flying through the air after june gets disarmed. the scene and song gave me a lot of material to work with :3

there were actually a ton of suggestions for flourite octet effects from all of our writers (and a few friends of mine who weren't on the team lol), and i cant find them all, but these were the final ones we narrowed down to before chosing

last bit of the original episode had a bunch of cuts for pacing. pacing, yes, but also to keep us tied to our current june. the original writing had it cut to the scene before june showed up, and had her appear. but in order to maintain the inertia from the last scene and to keep our camera focused on our protagonist, we had us just land in the scene at the same time as her. the audio here is literally ripped verbatim from episode 5, and in the scriptlog for this episode it says “episode 5” during this part, which i think is very fun.

there is also a post credits scene involving dirk, with a bit of completely original writing.

i don’t know if theres much to say about this that the text itself doesn’t already make clear. “this is where i get off” is apparently a half life reference though, but i haven’t played half life so idfk. dirk would be the type of nerd to do a reference like this in these circumstances though.

i had a lot of plans for this scene, and felt VERY strongly about it. originally this scene was vetoed by some performers until i recorded it myself as a proof of concept and we discussed was to get them on board. my original draft had gore sfx after he swung his blade (because i love gore sfx), but i think its far stronger to cut off before impact. as for why we're having A Dirkicide, when thats often seen as a bit insensitive these days, is actually to humanize dirk. dirk, in later godfeels updates, comes back as far less of a villain. in early godfeels, he's all intimidating villain all the time, all the way until his death. i wanted to let him share his piece. the text here is some original, some taken from his death in the Meat timeline, and some taken from his death in the Game Over timeline. These callbacks are also included intentionally to make him a bit more sympathetic. While his plan is to spark the epilogues, and he is a monster for his actions there, he IS ultimately motivated by an urge to keep his friends alive. this timeline isn't just a dud for his plans, isn't just a failure of his foresight, but also a repeat of dirk's lowest moment in the comic, when he lets the glitchtide take him after learning all his friends are dead. a moment he remembers and likely still grieves. and now he's having to grieve it all again. this wasn't included to be insensitive to dirk, it was included to make you remember 'wait, shit. yeah. oof. he IS kinda right on all counts about june as of this moment'.

and for a bit of behind the scenes? i've designed two sounds for deaths, Heroic and Just. and this one? it was Heroic. he died in the process of opposing someone who just killed all her friends. i may not agree with that distinction overall, but i think its a fair choice for skaia to make and i included that little meta aspect to once again humanize him a bit more.

also yes i had him quote gman, not just because he's a dweeb, but also to show his position as a Controller Who's Lost Control.

_____

thank you for coming around to see the adaptational notes for podfeels act 1! thank you again to stagelights for putting all of this together (i never would have found the time to do the bit by bit markdowns like they did), and also thank you to everyone on the team for contributing to this passion project i think we're all very very proud of.

i apologize for the long delay in getting act 2 started, but rest assured that we're still hard at work! i hope youve enjoyed seeing our process a bit, and maybe even learned from it a little!

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Doctor Who, but Chronologically 30

Okay OKAY so we have just watched the Christmas Armistice of 1914, but now we move on to one of my favourite episodes of ALL TIME. In fact, full disclosure, this is one of my favourite TV episodes of anything ever. This is one of my go-to options for comfort TV. If I’m ill and sad and cwtched up on the sofa, this is in the Emergency Elanor First Aid Kit. I love it. I love it so much that I will not be quoting any of it, because if I do, I will be posting the whole script. You cannot imagine the extent to which I had to sit on my hands so I wouldn’t do a full episode review accidentally.

It is 1926, my friends, and this is the Unicorn and the Wasp.

Tennant and Donna are back!!!! DREAM TEAM. We haven’t seen them since they were running around Pompei in episode one, my lord that was a while back now. And Jesus, what a return to quality. The companions have been failing the Sexy Lamp Test for so long. The only break was Martha in the Human Nature two-parter, and that was an emotional wringer. But here!!! Donna!!! You could NEVER replace her with a sexy lamp. She is 1000% the co-protagonist. She and Tennant are best friends and they love each other intensely and platonically and they travel through time and SOLVE CRIME while being, at all moments and seconds of every single scene, two halves of a whole idiot, and it is joyful and wonderful and amazing.

Okay okay so

They land in a country manor in England, a part expertly played by Llansannor Court in Wales if I’m not much mistaken, and the interiors are 1000% Tredegar House because I know my Welsh country manors. The Doctor and Donna get ludicrously excited about going to a garden party in 1926, all giggly. They even go and get dressed up, by which I mean Donna does – she exits the TARDIS and gives a twirl.

“What do you think?” she teases. “Flapper, or slapper?”

“Flapper, definitely,” the Doctor beams. “You look lovely.”

… I am having violent flashbacks to Capaldi calling Clara ugly.

Anyway they meet Agatha Christie in time for an honest-to-god murder mystery. It’s fucking phenomenal. It’s silly and camp and the murderer is a giant wasp, except in true Agatha Christie style, there’s a complicated twist involving a secret pregnancy, an expensive gem, the hot young woman (played by her from Rogue One) actually being an accomplished jewel thief impersonating a socialite, and a prodigal reverend. One of these people is the aforementioned giant wasp, except the joyful sci-fi plot is really running around a playground with a balloon and giggling, so it has been primed to kill people in libraries with lead piping like a Cluedo game.

I literally cannot list every moment I love. It’s just too many. So I shall try to name check some top moments:

“MAIDEN”

“It was a good once”

“I am Inspector Smith from Scotland Yard, and Miss Noble is the plucky young girl who helps me”

“Copyright Donna Noble”

“Major snap out of it. No, right out of it –“

“HOW IS HARVEY WALLBANGER ONE WORD”

The ENITRE reveal scene holy shit

“Ah, let’s see, it’s filed under C” *box contains a Cyberman part, a Carrionite egg, a bust of Caesar, and cables*

Fuck. I just. *clenches fist* I love this episode so damn much

Okay so plot threads. Well! No new info about Donna’s back, unfortunately, so nothing to tick off there. Only, as ever, things to add. There’s a scene where Donna is comforting Agatha (and finding vital clues), and she explains that her last partner ran off with a giant spider. That’s a hell of a thing. Oh, also Donna made her second reference to bees disappearing. But that’s it.

Fuck me but I would burn so much Capaldi for so much more Tennant/Donna.

Anyway the list of plot threads is now going under a read more, Christ on wheels

“She” (an unknown person) is returning (perhaps River returned as Missy. Maybe Me? Maybe Clara???!)

There is something on Donna’s back

An entire planet, Pyrovilia, just… disappeared, somehow. (Maybe because the TARDIS is exploding??? Saturnine was also lost, and that WAS because of the TARDIS exploding. The lion man’s planet was also lost but he was a bit of a knob about it if I’m honest.)

Amy is maybe dead (she’s not)

The Doctor has been cubed (he’s out, but how?)

River is possibly blown up  (unless she’s Missy)

The TARDIS has blown up  (It’s fine now. Except it’s sort of melting now because it’s corrupted, but it’s fine again)

The universe appears to have ended  (the universe is back again)

The Doctor has employed(?) Nardole

(And Nardole was “reassembled???” Nardole had glass nipples and invisible hair?? WHAT THE FUCK IS HE)

There’s a vault in the TARDIS and it contains Missy but we don’t know why (sometimes she knocks for the bants)

What has happened to all these companions and where are the new ones coming from?

There’s an immortal Viking girl now. Her name is Me and she’s now looking after the people the Doctor abandons

What’s With The Silence?

Why was Rory entirely unconcerned by the entire world suddenly going silent when that is Not Normal and should have been, at the very least, extremely disconcerting?

What did the Doctor do to Queen Lizzie One?

Who is Captain Jack Harkness? (Is he the one who gave the companions a warning about the lone cyberman?)

Why is Amy seeing a one-eyed woman in a vanishing window?

What’s with the Doctor’s future involving getting shot by an astronaut?

Is Amy pregnant and why is it inconclusive?

Who is Sarah-Jane Smith?

How is the Doctor Bill’s teacher and why/where does he have an office?

What is going on with the Cyber War and the Cyberium???

Who did the Doctor lose to Cyber Conversion?

What happened with the Other Cyber War?

What happened with the Third War that deleted the void?

Why does Rose seem particularly important?

What’s with the Weeping Angel statues, and why can’t you blink at them?

What order do these Doctors go in? (Eccleston, Tennant, uncertain, Smith, Capaldi, Whittaker)

Which companion just… forgot the Doctor, and how?

Yaz and Vinder are about to die as Mori/Mwri/Muuri

There is a Lupari shield around Earth.

What’s a Time War?

What’s the Rift?

What’s Bad Wolf?

What happened with Amy’s pregnancy?

In which war did the Doctor become a war criminal, and how?

Who is the Master?

Why has Amy forgotten Rory?

Is Rory plastic or not?

Why is the Doctor sulking on a cloud?

How exactly does the Doctor have a cloud?

What exactly happened with Strax to, uh, tame him?

Which friend killed Strax?

Which friend brought Strax back?

Where did this lesbian lizard and human couple come from?

What happened with Clara as Souffle Girl and the Daleks?

How does Clara actually join?

Why so many Claras?

Why is Missy apparently in robo-heaven?

Why is probably!Missy pushing Clara and the Doctor together?

What is Trensilor and what happened there?

Who is Handles?

The Doctor is about to be dissolved by a beautiful geode man

The universe is being crushed by the Flux

Will the Doctor open the fobwatch?

Sontarans are invading Earth again

Who is Kate?

Who is Osgood? Another name of Clara’s again?

The fuck is the deal with the Grand Serpent

Does Martha get to go to an ice cream planet with 12-fingered massage aliens?

How did the Doctor forget Clara?

Who is Bill’s puddle girlfriend Heather?

How did Nardole die?

When does Bill get Cyberman-ed and die?

When does the Doctor shrink and enter a Dalek called Rusty?

Whittaker is falling to her death rn

Was that ring relevant?

Does anyone know the Doctor’s name?

When did Yaz talk to Dan about fancying the Doctor?

When did Dan talk to the Doctor about fancying Yaz?

Who was the Doctor’s wife?

What's happening with the bees?

What happened with Donna's ex and a giant spider?

[emblemxeno]

Xenoblade 1 DE Main Story/Game Thoughts

Finished the main story! I didn't go full completion but I got full affinity for all areas and saw every Heart-to-Heart. More detailed thoughts-including spoilers-under the cut!

-For starters, DE is a great update to the original. Many QoL improvements trims the extra menu time down a lot (inventory management, art books, equipment/gems, etc.), especially swapping gems. Also hell yes to including the appearance feature from X, as someone who prefers the default outfits for everyone!

-Same applies to battle stuff and general gameplay. Quest tracking, gauges on things like Break and Topple, clearer status effects, chance arts being highlighted, even something as small as the scroll between Talent Arts/Running/Chain Attacks being more streamlined had many great returns on me not pressing the wrong thing.

-However... why did they not just go all the way with more changes? The two big ones that come to mind are trading and Colony 6 collecting. First, why can you not bulk trade? It is such a time sink having to constantly open the menu again and again. And since trading and skip travelling share a button, I clocked probably over a hundred instances of opening the damn map menu instead of trading since there's a second of cooldown before the option appears for the NPC again! It's an annoyance that is easily ignored once or twice, but absolutely brutal after the tenth time.

-Jumping ahead a bit, but I speak not just criticizing DE but XC1 as a whole. It's probably an unpopular opinion but I don't like the ongoing Colony 6 reconstruction sidequest. The first time I completed it-about half a decade ago I think-was magical! Seeing a ruined home blossom into a lively city due to my hard work was something I'll never forget as an RPG fan. But I don't have that kind of time on my hands anymore (or I simply have better management of time now that I don't stay up til 4 am playing video games anymore lol). Exploring Bionis and Mechonis is an undeniably wondrous and beautiful experience, but only when doing normal quests (well most of the normal quests) and progressing the story. Jogging around places trying to find each item is incredibly unfun and tedious. The big offenders are typically Ice Cabbages (luckily I got all the ones I need by playing through the Valak portion of the story), Rainbow Slugs (I spent an entire hour on the Fallen Arm ugh), and the Black Liver Beans. The last one was the breaking point, I can't stand the Bionis Interior and after an hour in there just trying to find one, I said fuck it and did the Time Attack trials to get them that way. It was just not... good! I don't like it a bit.

-Last thing on DE specifically, I found that the graphics are apparently controversial among fans? I'm understanding of the position, as there's definitely a charm that the original artstyle had, especially being on the Wii. But to me the original has more issues in its visuals than just being a different artstyle. Poor resolution, blocky models, souless faces when not in an important cutscene, absolutely diabolical pop-in. And some say that the original gave its characters more personality during cutscenes, which... I don't get whatsoever. Did we watch the same scenes, cuz it's very hard to distinguish emotion in the original, whereas DE has better mouth, eyebrow, and facial movements. Certain scenes may "look" more emotional in the original, but things get exaggerated all the time to compensate for poor resolution or graphics.

-Now on to the just XC1 in general! Holy fuck the main cast is better than I remember. Shulk, Fiora, and Melia were already my favorites, but honestly... Dunban is probably my absolute favorite out of all of them now. His story is just so succinct and he's just so cool and hot and kind and just ughhhhhh!

-Egil is still best villain in the game, no surprise. Revisiting this game honestly made it really fucking clear why I loved Dimitri from 3H so much cuz the two are so similar (to the point where you can pull line's from the game about Egil and put them in 3H). The others fair less well. Metal Face/Mumkhar is delightfully hammy and an amazing threat for the first half of the game, but is as deep as a puddle. Dickson and Lorithia I found I dislike even more, for the wrong reasons; they lack charisma, and it's noticeable in places where the game gets really anime in its hammy villainy, but they're written and played a bit too straight for it to come off as anything other than lackluster. Though at least Dickson has presence as Shulk's caretaker and the guy who everyone knows and respects; Lorithia though? Throw her away. Honestly if Yumea took her place and retained the bigotry against Homs it'd be much more entertaining IMO.

-Zanza himself is a definitive mixed bag. Were I ignorant to Klaus' entire story from XC2, I'd honestly write him off as a by-the-numbers arrogant (but secretly imperfect and prone to "human" folly) god figure that happens in many, many RPGS. But I can't dislike him because I do know the entire story, and Zanza being an utter dickwad is explained in great detail and makes sense. Honestly, he does work for the story that XC1 is telling without playing XC2 as well, but ehhh. I guess it's just really difficult to be the main villain after Egil does such great things in a limited time.

-Narrative is great, just as it was the first time I played. Highlights for me:

Singlemindedly fighting for revenge is destructive not just to your enemies, but to yourself and your friends. Ignorance and unwillingness to look beyond your own world or history means you may be hurting innocent people without realizing it. Chaining your life to the deaths of others rather than supporting the survivors is unhealthy and can lead you down a path of misery and disaster.

Ether is not just analogy for carbon/other base elements in our world. Philosophically it's analogous to light and fate as well. Shulk unlocks the Monado's powers when he stops treating it as a tool with functions, but rather as an extension of his will. He wills his wishes into his heart, and they are made manifest. He protects Reyn with Shield not cuz the Monado lets him, but because he desired it. Same with Sharla and Speed, and it's how Alvis taught him to unlock Purge. It's how he resists Apocrypha, and later gains Cyclone once the Apocrypha is destroyed. His will is so strong, it becomes resistant to Zanza's influence, hence why he starts suffering the more he learns of Mechonis' history. The truth being brought to light is painful internally and externally, as Zanza physically rejects anything that challenges how he sees the world. Shulk brings himself back to life, begins having visions without Zanza, and gains his own Monado-which looks purely made of ether and light-through pure willpower and the desire to create his own future.

Shulk's duality and inner turmoil when he realizes his yearning for revenge is destructive; Fiora's endless strength of heart when dealing with a machine body and carrying on Meyneth's wishes; Melia going through hell and back trying to find a balance between her sense of self and sense of duty (I imagine Future Connected is gonna touch on that more as well); Dunban grappling with his moniker of being a hero and mentoring the party despite being imperfect and lamenting his disability; Reyn's goal of being a protector developing into being a supporter once he becomes insecure over his strength and character compared to Shulk; Sharla trying to keep hold onto a sense of hope that her love is alive before coming to terms with the fact that she needs to cherish her life and love those within it; Riki just being the fucking best dad and friend in the world.

Having played XC2 and XC3 makes all these things even richer as well.

-Last but not least, gameplay:

-Most quests are good. Most. The generic quests weren't ever fun for me, and they cause significant bloat that could've been trimmed IMO. Especially since lots of quests ask you to kill monsters and collect items anyway.

-The method to get quests started though? Awful. I know that things like Community in Torna and Field Skills in XC2 are hated, but man I can't stand having to change the clock and track the damn NPCs in XC1. Especially since there are many areas separated between towns/villages and "wild" areas (Colony 6 and Bionis Leg, Frontier Village and Makna, Alcamoth and Eryth + Valak), it just makes things so drawn out. Going back and forth, changing time and all that, is a sour point on this game.

-Like I said a few weeks ago, the Xenoblade series as a whole is unmatched in gameplay story telling. Beautiful and large environments make curious exploration a treat, especially as you start getting pieces to puzzles that can get completed later. I payed a lot more attention to the High Entia and Giant related sidequests due to the fascinating lore, for example.

-The fights are great, if a bit centralizing. Shulk, due to Monado arts, is the best character to have in the party and is sorely missed when switched out. I have pretty standard opinions on the rest of the characters, so no need to speak on each individually. I will say though, holy fuck is the AI just as bad as I remember. Shulk wastes his Monado gauge, Sharla is terrible at using arts and always puts herself into cooldown, and Melia for the love of god, stop firing elementals as soon as you summon them you're made of tissue.

Topple locking is deffo the prime strategy, cuz there were fights I wouldn't otherwise have won were it not for it, and thankfully Reyn and Dunban have pretty good AI.

Two major gripes though. Spikes are a terrible mechanic, gross. Second, I hate that the enemy tags affect accuracy, it makes certain quests extremely brutal to complete without grinding. And I just hate having to fight tough/overlevelled enemies as a whole, it becomes routine and simple after a while.

As a whole, I like the gameplay still, but it feels very restrictive going back to it after seeing all the crazy tricks I could do in 2 and 3. And also auto-attack arts > timer arts forever and ever.

-Overall a very great experience getting to replay this game like this. Though more rough points than I remember, and with certain things that have not aged well whatsoever , XC1 is still a good game that I'm glad introduced me to this series. I'm taking a break before playing Future Connected.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I’ve just finished Cabin Pressure, and that was, to quote its character who also wrote the thing, brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. For the first few episodes, I thought it was quite a good sitcom, and would be gently amusing for thirteen hours. A few episodes in, I became attached enough to the show to not want to do anything except listen to it. From there I went through the rest of the 28 episodes (26 alphabet ones plus part 2 of Zurich plus a behind the scenes one at the end) quite quickly.

It usually annoys me when people describe any bit of comedy as being especially “British”, because I don’t think you can have a single category of humour to describe The Goon Show and The Thick of It and WILTY and Stewart Lee and Josie Long, to name a few things off the top of my head that are as different from each other as I can imagine. Last year I took my best friend to see Nish Kumar, and he didn’t like it, and I was surprised, and he said I shouldn’t be because I know he doesn’t like British comedy, and I said yes but he based that opinion entirely on seeing Monty Python’s Holy Grail as a kid, and he said well it’s all British comedy. And I said Nish Kumar hasn’t got anything in common with Monty Python (I say that not as a slight against Nish Kumar, if anything it’s a slight against Monty Python).

Having said that, Cabin Pressure immediately strikes me as the absolute epitome of British humour. I don’t like the idea of describing British humour as anything in particular, but if I had to describe it, I’d point to Cabin Pressure. Or maybe it’s just Radio Four humour. A radio show with a bunch of characters who are quite well drawn considering the small number of episodes, getting into sitcom trope-infused situations while being deadpan-ly sarcastic at each other and pronouncing everything perfectly and saying “brilliant” a lot. Peak British comedy. Peak Radio Four.

A lot of playing with class and status among the characters, not just two in opposition to each other but a bunch who are all at different levels, some cases of one person's class not matching up with their status, humour is mined from all these clashes. That's British as fuck. They all do that. Fawlty Towers and The Thick of It and Stewart Lee all do that.

It was so good. I liked how the plot got thicker as it went along, the characters better drawn out, they remembered and brought back little details rather than retconning anything inconvenient. I liked that the characters and relationships actually grew and changed. It had the perfect mix of comfortingly familiar sitcom tropes, with enough character complexity to feel original. Sharp dialogue that made sense for each character, so it didn't feel like the writers were just showing off their cleverness (obviously they were also doing that, but they justified it every time). I don’t watch/listen to fiction nearly as much as I used to, and it’s been some time since I’ve gotten this invested in fictional characters.

I think the alphabet theme might have been what kept any episode from feeling like filler, that there was a clear plan from the beginning for every episode to matter. They were all well written and well acted and if I were re-listening I could jump in to any part of any episode and enjoy it. The whole thing was a delight. Wonderful British humour that I'm definitely adding to the hard drive of comedy that I'm giving my dad for Christmas. I'm very glad I did that.

Having said that, for months now, Cabin Pressure has been sitting in the "comedy to listen to" folder on my phone, with the thought that I'd listen to it once I was done every other thing on my list, and when I finish that I'll start a new long-running thing. It's been months but I've finally finished all of it. What am I supposed to do with my life now?

[dna-d2]

(One Piece Live Action Spoilers, Beware) (Also long post alert, Also Beware) (TL;DR at the end)

(Beware)

So I finally finished watching the Live Action One Piece and BOY LET ME TELL YOU.

(Please note that this is coming from someone who’s read the manga numerous times and is almost caught up on the anime. So this is a time for me to lovingly rant about this show/franchise in general)

I loved it. Like, to start off with, I fucking loved it. It had a couple flaws, and I certainly wouldn’t say it’s the BEST way to experience the story of One Piece, but I had so much fun with it, god.

Like, one of the biggest flaws you see with live action anime adaptations is that they make a bunch of changes, and these changes feel like they were made by a bunch of higher-up suit-wearing dickheads who think they managed to systematically dissect why people loved Dragon Ball so much and gave us the war crime that was Dragon Ball Evolution.

No, OPLA does have changes, but these changes feel like they were made to actually ADAPT the story into a new medium, since this would require a whole different type of storytelling compared to anime or manga. And (almost) all of the changes do feel like they were able to get the same point across as in the anime/manga, just in a different way.

Like pretty much everyone’s been saying, the casting choice was SPOT-FUCKING-ON. Like

HOLY SHIT

Guys, Iñaki as Luffy was absolutely brilliant and you’d have to kill me before I’d ever say anything different, I mean it. The closest I’d have to a character complaint (and it’s really not a complaint, it’s more of a nit-pick than anything) is that Zoro was just not goofy enough. OG Zoro gets caught up in the shenanigans more than he’d like to admit and gets pissed about it and many other things. OPLA Zoro was way more stoic than that. Though I did also like the stoic himbo energy he was giving off too, so like I said it’s not ENTIRELY a complaint. Just a slight nitpick. (And this is nothing against the actor, the actor did a phenomenal job and I will hear no slander against him or any of the others. Especially Usopp’s actor. Dude was perfect in pretty much every way)

And then the only REAL complaint I had. Well, two, technically. And they both center around the final two episodes.

One of the ONLY changes I didn’t like is that the people in Cocoyashi DIDN’T know that Nami was working for Arlong to buy back the village. The anime/manga had them all know about it and play along so that her efforts to help them wouldn’t be in vain, thus when she was double-crossed by Arlong, they had 7 years of resentment against just HIM to get out, and it felt so nice knowing that these guys were more than willing to fight to the death for her in her name and in the name of the years she sacrificed for them.

In this one though, the fact that they didn’t know just made it feel less impactful to me. They hated Nami for years, then just gave her an apology for not realizing what she was doing before deciding to march on Arlong Park. They didn’t even march on Arlong Park. It felt like the writers were rushing this along a little bit, which kinda leads into my other complaint.

I think there should’ve been ONE more episode. Just one. Nine overall. I think they should’ve spent 2 episodes, 7 and 8, specifically on the fight against Arlong, instead of an episode and a half with the resolution to the Garp thing stuck on at the end. THEN made episode 9 the resolution to the Garp subplot. Or hell, I think even just an extra 30 minutes would’ve helped a lot more. But it felt like they didn’t 100% get how to pace it out properly and had to change certain things that resulted in being a detriment to the overall product. I didn’t feel anywhere near as moved during Nami’s scene asking for help as I did during the anime/manga. In those, she looked absolutely broken, pushed so far past her breaking point that she just couldn’t see a way out of this darkness she’d found herself in for years and years. And in OPLA, she just…Didn’t. It’s hard to put to words, but it just wasn’t as impactful to me.

NOW WITH ALL THAT SAID!!!!

This is an incredible show in its own right. If I didn’t have the anime/manga to compare this to, I would have almost no gripes whatsoever. Maybe even none!! I enjoyed the hell out of this from start to finish, and only came out of it with like one complaint and a couple nitpicks. That’s INCREDIBLE for a live action anime adaptation. Not to mention the way that this is already proving to be a great way to get new people into One Piece. (They don’t realize. They don’t realize that this is the gateway show. That this is where it starts. They don’t realize that they’ll be hooked after this. They don’t realize. But I realize. I know. And soon, so will everyone…!!!)

So yeah, OPLA, solid 8/10. It’s not the best way to experience the story overall, but it’s great for beginners and I will watch again for Easter Eggs and further enjoyment. You should watch it.



TL;DR: One Piece Live Action is great actually, and while it’s not perfect, you should watch it and I love it.



[bb-bare-bones]

Deya's Favourite Body Horror Films

Art and Words by Dy Dawson, @xgardensinspace

John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982)

Films that have practical special effects tend to be my absolute favourites! And this film is – at least in my humble opinion – the holy grail for practical special effects! I never get tired of watching bodies becoming unrecognisable masses of bone and sinew in this incredible film, and the fact that everything looks agonisingly real whilst being done through the power of makeup and human hands with such extensive precision blows my mind! EVERY GODDAMNED TIME!

The Void (2016)

Similarly to The Thing, I praise the shit out of this hidden gem because the practical effects are PRISTINE! I don’t wish to say much about this one because it’s a real treat, and the fact that they managed to build a WHOLE creature on such a tight budget (plus all the many other special effects) is insanely amazing. A must watch, if you haven’t already!

Braindead (1992)

For this one I would like to say, buckets of blood and a lawnmower. That is all.

Nah, but in all seriousness, this is considered to be the goriest film of all time, and for good measure. It’s extremely campy, but all the effects are practical (I think you might start seeing the pattern here), super well done, and even if this is a horror comedy, the gory scenes are bound to make you feel icky! Also…Peter Jackson made this masterpiece before Lord of the Rings. I just think that’s fucking precious.

Child’s Play 2 (1990)

Some might not consider this a “body horror” film, but if we really think about it, this film series still contains an extensive showcase of body horror as a doll is quite literally turning human. This could fall under the “mutation” bracket of body horror. The first two films do the best job at showcasing that; the doll’s appearance shifts as Chucky spends time inside the doll. It’s shown through the progression of his staining teeth, the receding hairline, and a blemished face. I have specifically selected Child’s Play 2 because it’s got the most beautiful blend of this “mutation”, and the violation of the doll’s (human) body itself. That final scene in the factory is the best, and this stands as the only film that I couldn’t sleep with after watching. Sure, I was 8 years old, but I’ve been watching horror since the age of 5 and the fact that this one genuinely frightened me and has now turned into one of my favourite franchises saysa lot (mee thinks).

Akira (1988)

This film is simply amazing! And the most stunning example of body horror in animation! Well, the kind about physical human body mutilation, of course. But the animation behind those scenes is pure bliss and such a beautifully grotesque visual. I played King of Fighters before actually watching Akira, though. So when I saw Tetsuo’s arm do “the thing” for the very first time, you can imagine how happy I was to know there was a magnificent reference to the character X/9999. It fulfilled some childhood nostalgia I didn’t know I was craving, and seeing those scenes in the movie still runs chills down my spine because that animation is GORGEOUSLY disturbing. And trust me, I like to be disturbed.

Hellraiser (1987)

My favourite thing about body horror is the absolute gory violation and destruction of the human body. The whole centrepiece of this film is body mutilation, so of course it’s going to be on my list! My favourite scene is when Frank Cotton is being resurrected from the floorboards of the attic. When that spine connects to the brain, I shriek with Frank in pure awestruck! Another thing I love about body horror is THE GOOP! I need fluids, blood and goop and ooze and stringy bits. And that scene has SO much of it!

If I’m not being disturbed and/or disgusted, am I really watching horror?

Re-Animator (1985)

What can I say about this one that Ed hasn’t already? I mean… c’mon! There is SO much body horror and practical effects in this baddie to fill an entire house! I mean, the opening scene has exploding eyeballs, for Pete’s sake! And the entirety of Dr. Halsey head is oscar-winning material for the makeup department! As well as for the effectiveness of working smart, not hard. This entire film is a beautiful collection of practical effects that work effectively by not spending an absurd amount of money. It’s a B-film for a reason! And let’s face it, B-films often have some of the best effects in the industry because people have to work around that tight budget, get very creative and manage to deliver effects that can withstand the test of time, as well as look as convincing as possible. Re-Animator does this so well, and I sometimes forget Dr. Halsey isn’t actually decapitated in that fucking scene. Such a simple effect accomplished incredibly effectively.

Ginger Snaps (2000)

This is one of my favourite films, but not necessarily for the body horror; it’s just such a bloody good story! I still wanted to include it because I feel it’s a bit of an underrated or not very talked about film. Anyone with a period needs to watch it, first of all… And the practical special effects for Ginger’s werewolf transformation are genuinely impressive! One of my favourite things about this film is the opening sequence, with the sisters’ photoshoot on deaths. They are all very precious ways to die, and some are very body-horror oriented! (As well as the social commentary on women and their periods. It’s fucking BRILLIANT!)

Event Horizon (1997)

This one is truly a treat for sci-fi and horror films alike! And if you, like me, adore both genres, this film is just a treasure! It’s gorey, it’s gritty, and the plot is to die for. A little Hellraiser around the edges, but who’s complaining? And the special effects are truly magnificent! Also, look out for deleted scenes or the unrated versions of this film, please. You cannot miss this film in its full horrific glory!

Taxidermia (2006)

Taxidermia’s a bit odd, but I love it for exactly that reason. It’s one of the only films to have genuinely disturbed me; although it’s for my emetophobia reason rather than for body horror-situations. Although…it brings the question on whether competitive food eating is a bit of a violation on the body, hehe. It’s a film about 3 generations of one family, through the POV of the grandfather, the dad and the son. The biggest “body horror” part in this film is the last segment, and boy is it beautiful! Well, the bits with the son only. The body metamorphosis the dad went through is certainly grotesque, but the effects are sort of unrealistic/comedic(?) and thus look a bit silly. But trust me, that final transformation the son goes through is truly beautiful :)

Again… a really bizarre little Hungarian film, but if you are interested, go watch it and don’t say I didn’t warn you! I also don’t personally know anybody who has seen this film…so it’s always great to recommend and put it out there!

Honourable Mentions:

Tetsuo: The Iron Man (1989)

This one is here for being ICONIC. This film is so creative and artsy about its body horror. Certainly taking inspiration from Akira, but also just being unsettling for its stylised way of showcasing the destruction of the human body. Bits and wires everywhere! In black and white? SURE! I love the red of blood, but this movie gets a pass for its sheer imaginative way of displaying body horror.

The Fly (1986)

Love this film, but surprisingly it’s not one of my favourites! I wanted to include it here though, because the metamorphosis Seth Brundle goes through is EXTREMELY grotesque! It’s got absolutely everything I adore about the genre: Physical human body violations, gore, GOOP, and practical effects.

Scanners (1981)

Honestly, this one is just here because I FUCKING love that head exploding scene everyone knows about :b LITERAL ART!

Black Sheep (2006)

A dark comedy! Or horror comedy? Either way, this fucking film is DISTURBING! The practical effects are to die for, and the final creature sent shivers down my spine. I don’t care how silly this film is, if it wasn’t comedic, this would be a straight up HORROR of the most disturbing kind. And besides, anything making commentary on animal cruelty and animal testing is a definite narrative artistry about body horror in my book.

American Mary (2012)

This film has A TON of body horror displays! Full frontal and all. It’s one of my picks that isn’t just about gorey mutilation, but actual sexual violation as well :0 It’s got such a strong message, and the visuals are pretty great! Extra points for empowering women ;)

Slither (2006)

This film is only here for being one of the only ones to genuinely disgust and disturb me. The transformation of that one woman in the barn creeps me to the core :( And that doesn’t happen often! So as much as I hate this movie for making me feel uncomfortable, it’s gotta be on the list, right?

Society (1989)

This film is also fucking GROSS. Commentary on the rich being as disgusting as the actions happening, and as gross as they look in the end of this film is fucking GOLD! I’m all for it. Definitely not one of my favourites (it’s just a little boring at parts), but worth mentioning for that social commentary mixed in with absolutely horrendous body mutilation scenes done with practical effects.

Splinter (2008)

Another little hidden gem of a movie! I don’t hear people talk about this one ENOUGH! One of two films in my list that doesn’t exclusively include practical effects (I think). But that’s okay! Because this film is SO creative and has such a unique version of the zombie virus! It certainly will shake you; especially if hearing and/or seeing bones cracking is one of your “irk” uncomfy factors.

[arcplaysgames]

hey guys have you met kanji tatsumi

he's like the best dude

wait lemme sum up other stuff first before getting to my good good punk boy

I'm good enough friends with shrine fox that he'll give me a discount on healing which is good because HOLY SHIT THIS BITCH IS EXPENSIVE, what the hell. 9 THOUSAND yen, bro? what the fuck. i'll just go home and sleep thanks.

Hung out with Yosuke and like the retail core of my soul just shrivels and dies every fucking time because yep YEAH YEP THAT SURE IS A THING.

Like... it is horseshit the amount of hours retail sucks out of your life, but leaving other people to take on your hours and thus grind that other person further into the ground just. hate it.

Yosuke is both trying not to be The Junes Kid but everyone around him expect him to basically be a ad hoc manager and that shit fucking sucks so much, I'm sorry, dude.

also he burst into Reverie's room looking for porn. ah, life before the more widespread proliferation of the internet and its cavalcades of erotic content. someday, yosuke, you will be able to just look up tiddies.

i know everyone has probably said all of this already but out of everyone, yosuke feels the most like he's Trying to be hetero and it's painful to see.

Over in the Hierophant SLink, I got enough eloquence to talk to Dojima and this conversation took me tf OUT. Dojima, you HAVE to try harder, Nanako hangs out more with my high school friends than you and it SUCKS.

That said, the whole family working on the garden is very heartwarming and gives me hope. Dojima needed me to level up my stats to even TALK to me, so there is this gap he has to bridge to reach out to Nanako, and it's painful to see because I'm sympathetic but also you GOTTA do better, Dojima. This is not optional.

I read the first few chapters of My Immortal.

AND IN THE SUN SLINK THERE IS LIKE SO MUCH FUCKING DR-- drama. there's. drama in the drama club. i see what they did there. Yumi's mother collapsed. but ho ho!

It turns out that her deadbeat dad collapsed and mom lied to get Yumi to come, and it's a fuckign MESSSSSSSS.

Then in the fucking Adachi SLink that apparently exists??? The game gave me the option to flirt with him and he actually let me down very smoothly, which.

WHY IS THIS HERE? Was there a hankering for this weird side character to get an SLink? I'm baffled.

And then Nanako asked me why people die and I am not equipped to handle that one, honey! Not yet! Whoo boy! Your dad sucks!

here nanako, do you have a psp? play this game, persona 3 portable, it'll explain everything, okay? make sure to use the arcade games to boost your stats, you'll be fine.

KANJIIIIIIIIIIII

hang on the entire scene with him is so good i need another post, brb

[gaydiation-poisoning]

Revali from BoTW for the character opinion bingo!

Ohhhh you're gonna get me killed by the fandom for this one, that there is a character I have some BAGGAGE with

Okay here's my thing

I kinda despise Revali And it sucks because I really REALLY don't want to

Story time

I grew up playing Wind Waker, it was my first video game ever, and from that game the Rito were my favorite race, and they remained my favorite all these years. You probably wouldn't be able to find someone more hyped than me for the return of these beautiful birds.

So. April 2017. When I got my hands on BOTW I decided I'd save the Rito zone for last, I'd kept myself blind so I could go in and experience everything purely.

So imagine my surprise when I unlock the champion I'd been most excited for, the Rito, the champion of my favorite Zelda race from my earliest childhood memories.

And he was a complete fucking douchebag

At first I was like oh :( well okay maybe we'll be given some more information on him and it'll be better!! After all characters with huge egos can be extremely fun!!!

So I maintained hope that maybe the upcoming DLC would give us something

December 2017

We got something!! A teeny tiny fragment that suggested maybe Revali's ego was just a coverup for a deeply troubled bird, it was hardly anything at all but it was something.

But then his journal made him like 10 times worse in such a way that the DLC honestly didn't do much but make him more insufferable

So I was deeply saddened, they'd given us something but simultaneously made him more unlikeable. I thought that would be the end of it. But then!! Hyrule Warriors Age of Calamity was announced. And I was THRILLED. FINALLY. we were going to get AN ENTIRE game alongside the champions, I was gonna get more content for Best Girl Mipha, and FINALLY AN ENTIRE GAME'S WORTH OF CHANCES TO GIVE REVALI SOME CHARACTERIZATION. YES!!!!

November 2020. AOC comes out. Holy. Fucking. Shit. Revali what did they do to you? To my shock he'd graduated from a little unlikeable to downright unpleasant to watch. Even my best friend, a diehard Revali fan through and through, could not STAND what they'd done with him. We got a whole game with this guy and they basically spent the whole thing trashing this guy's character. He was arrogant to the point of annoying, horribly rude to characters who had done nothing to earn it, and overall was just kinda a ballache. And not even in the 'fun annoying character' way.

But hey!! AOC was getting DLC as well!!! That is meant to flesh out the characters more!!! We'll definitely get something there!!

October 2021. Guardian of Remembrance comes out. Yeah this DLC gave us fuck all really. That goes for all the champions, but I think Revali suffered pretty bad in this regard. Some of the scenes with Tulin were cute but they didn't do much in terms of Revali's character.

And....that's where we are now. Tears of the Kingdom is on the horizon, and I highly doubt we're gonna get much on the Champions in this game but...well I've maintained hope for six years already, why stop now?

So yeah my feelings on Revali are...complicated to say the least. There's so much I love about him, his design is probably my favorite of the Champions (next to Mipha), he easily has like...the best voice in the whole fucking game, and the character POTENTIAL is absolutely incredible. But all in all it feels like they've done nothing with that potential, for what is supposed to be the most Character driven era of Zelda to date, it truly feels like they've let his character stagnate, if not actively regress in a way that I REALLY do not vibe with.

I can see what people can love about him, god knows I've done more when provided with less in a character. It's not the ego that gets me, I love cocky characters, ffs my favorite BOTW character is Master Kohga for crying out loud, and that man has a damn near god complex. (Kohga, incidentally, has LEGITIMATELY EXPERIENCED MORE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT THAN REVALI. WHAT.)

Like I'm not saying I want his character to do a full 180, just a couple more scenes like what we got in Champion's Ballad, just a couple more cracks in the facade would have done wonders. But instead they just kept him rather one note. Feels bad man.

Ultimately it feels like they're just going in circles with this character, arguably the Champion with the most potential to be interesting and they're doing fuck all with it. I can see why people love him, but idk, I've dealt with a few people irl with egos like that and that's probably not helped.

Idk, I guess this character managed to regress perfectly into a niche I cannot stand, and it sucks because it feels like such a personal loss to me.

I guess to put it very shortly

Revali is a bully. And I'll take a full blown villain over a bully any day.

[mycomicbox]

Random Thoughts on Persona 4 Golden - Part 2

(for context, I'm up to 11/13 and I just rescued [SPOILER])

<<< Part 1

I like how there are a lot of moments where the Investigation Team hangs out together outside of the context of the main story, like the fireworks scene and the concert performance. It really makes them feel like true friends.

Not my favorite fishing minigame in the world, but it's serviceable.

You ever drink coffee so good it knocks you the fuck out?

The Death Social Link may be in my personal running for one of the best Social Links that isn't a party member or side character.

I was honestly kinda blindsided by Mr. Morooka's murder.

They did it. They made a character who's both a bear and a twink.

Mitsuo's dungeon and boss fight were cool as fuck, especially with the 8-bit remix of I'll Face Myself. I'm a sucker for that retro aesthetic.

Since I played Persona 3 Portable immediately before this game, I loved the Tatsumi Port Island field trip. It was really nice to see something familiar. Chihiro shows up and briefly mentions Mitsuru, Club Escapade plays the opening song for Persona 3 FES, and the gang even stays in the hotel where SEES fought one of the boss Shadows. Wonderful.

Speaking of Club Escapade, how did Rise and Yukiko get drunk again? Naoto mentions that the drinks were non-alcoholic, so were they just acting drunk?

...They did Naoto so dirty. That part where she said that she "shouldn't strive to live as a man" gave me the ick. Her dungeon literally has a Transition Surgery Machine, and she continuously wishes that she was born a guy. Like I said in my last post, the story feels like if a queerphobe and a queer person were fighting over who got to write it. It would've been nice if Naoto's arc revolved around accepting that she was transmasc, or better yet, rejecting the concept of gender entirely.

Speaking of Naoto, she's honestly kinda OP. I heard that she was buffed from the original Persona 4.

The Cultural Festival was... holy shit, where do I begin. The whole beauty pageant segment was incredibly awkward (except for the bit where Teddie stole the show, that was pretty based of him), and the hot springs scene was even worse than the one in Persona 3. And don't even get me started on the scene immediately after.

The scene on the night of 11/1 was awesome. The suspense of Nanako's kidnapping was elevated by how likable she is, especially if you finished her Social Link beforehand (which I did). I was also wondering when Dojima would find out about the protagonist's involvement.

It's probably been said many times before, but WE WERE FUCKING ROBBED. As I found out, there were unused voice lines for Yosuke (in both Japanese and English) which imply that he was going to be a romance option, but it was cut in late development. Not only would it have been nice to have an actual bromance in a Persona game, this would've been a great character moment for Yosuke; it would've recontextualized his homophobic remarks as the result of denying his own feelings, fitting perfectly with the game's intended themes.

(Also, happy launch day to Persona 3 Reload. This is a Persona 4 post, but it feels weird not to acknowledge it.)