gotmefeelinsoright

[wetlandwanderer]

Photos from Shenandoah

[obvi-the-best-soph]

we're all bound to break. (chapter 1)

alexia putellas masterlist: here requests: here

based on this request: Hey! Got a request for a teen!fic with Barca women’s team (focus on Alexia, Mapi and Ingrid if possible). I’m a sucker for angst so would love an angsty storyline, maybe an injury or off pitch event or something!

word count: 2,375k

summary: your parents pass away 2 weeks before the champions league final, but you don't tell anyone, which of course has knock on effects.

genre: angst/hurt warnings: disordered eating, vomiting, death of parents, swearing, grief, drunk driver/car accident, alcohol, struggling alone, body dysmorphia.

chapter 2

a/n: this is my first full length fic i'm posting on here, so i hope you enjoy it. sorry if the spanish is bad, i tried lol. would love requests and feedback as this had taken me literally ages. thank youuu :)

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Ever since you were a little kid, 4 or 5, you had wanted to play for Barcelona. Your papá had taken you to nearly every game you could make it to, and you loved it. That was always a special time, just you, and papá, and football. That was how you liked it. You and papá. Of course, you loved your mamí too, more than anything, but she didn’t quite love football just as much as you, but she was always supportive and tried her best to understand. So when the contract came for the first team of Barcelona Femení, you couldn’t put pen to paper fast enough. And suddenly, papá wasn’t just coming to games to watch the team, but to watch his own pequeña princesa (little princess) play.

And you absolutely dominated too. At first, you were just another new signing for Barcelona, a young kid that would probably barely ever play and hardly ever get started, but you quickly squashed those assumptions, scoring a hattrick in your debut game, shocking Camp Nou into near silence. You celebrated every goal by making a heart with your hands over your eyes, looking through the gap, where your papá would be cheering and clapping for you. Everything you did, you did for your papá… sound familiar? Every award you had won was dedicated to him, every goal, every game, similar to your mentor and current roommate, Alexia Putellas. When you signed for Barcelona, you had needed somewhere to stay as you and your family lived just outside the city, and after Alexia had met you, she had immediately offered. So that’s where you lived, in an apartment with Alexia. And occasionally, her girlfriend Olga. 

But Alexia wasn’t the only person you’re close to, Mapi and Ingrid often hosting you for sleepovers on weekend or Friday nights. You loved Mapi, always interested in her tattoos and their stories, or the funny things she’d tell you about Alexia or Ingrid. And Ingrid was great too. 

You loved all the Barca girls really, the second you stepped foot in there, they welcomed, loved and accepted you. Especially Ona, who you had become really close to, and Lucy and Kiera were always funny when you tried to teach them Spanish. Lucy was pretty good, but Kiera could barely make her way through “¿Hola, cómo estás?” (Hello, how are you?) without stuttering or looking around for reassurance. She was teased for it a lot, but it was all in good fun. All in all, you loved it at Barcelona, and now anywhere with that team felt like home. 

This season, you have been killing it. Scoring at least one goal every game, often two. And now, you've made it to the Champions League final. 2 weeks before, you got the most devastating call of your life. 

“Is this Y/N L/N?”

“Si, who is this?”

“Uh hola, this is the Police Department of (your hometown), and we regret to inform you that both of your parents have been involved in a serious car accident, they were hit at high speed by a drunk driver. Unfortunately neither of them have survived the impact.”

The phone slipped from your hands, clattering to the floor. Everything went blurry, the tears clouding your vision, and your knees shook until you found yourself crumpled on the bathroom floor. Thankfully, Alexia and Olga had gone out for dinner that night, so you were home alone, otherwise you would’ve immediately had people at your side, and you couldn’t think of anything worse right now. 

So… what now? No more papá, no more mamí…

You didn’t know what to do. So you just sat on the kitchen floor, and cried. And cried. And cried some more. “Why did it have to be me? Why did it have to be my parents?” you thought, the stages of grief already hitting you hard. 

After another hour and a bit longer of crying, you retreated to your room. You curled up in your bed, staring off into space, thinking about all the little things you didn’t have anymore. No more hugs from mamí, no more of her cooking, no more one on one time with papá, no more childhood home to go back to, no doubt your Tia (aunt) would sell that the second her greedy, money-loving little mitts could, no more papá. No more mamí. The two people that kept your world spinning. 

You decided you weren’t going to tell any of the team about it, not yet. Maybe after the final. There were a few reasons you’d thought of, one; you didn’t want them to pity you and treat you differently, two; you didn’t want to make them worry over you anymore than they already, and three; you just couldn’t bear to actually voice the words. “My mamí and papá are dead.” It was too much, too painful. So, you just stayed silent.

You didn’t get out of bed or leave your room much anymore, unless it was for training or other football stuff. That made Alexia begin to worry, you were always happy, and cheerful and hyper and pestering the others. But now you seemed like a shell of the person you were, which was partly true. You didn’t enjoy life much anymore, you just barely managed to drag yourself out of bed each morning, no breakfast, training, then back home, and back to bed. Spending so much time in bed was something you thought to be ‘lazy’ or ‘slobbish’, although you still couldn’t manage to muster up enough energy or fucks to give to get out of it. So you began skipping meals. Not intentionally per say, but you certainly weren’t trying overly hard to eat either. 

And when you look in the mirror nowadays, in a strange, twisted way, you prefer what you saw. You look older, more mature like the other girls in the team, not the baby-faced 16 year old the public sees you to be. So you make even less effort to eat. You know you should, that an athlete starving themselves was like trying to drive a car on empty, but you simply can’t part with the new reflection you saw, the ‘beautiful’ and ‘mature’ one. 

Finally, the day of the final rolled around, and everyone was extremely hyped. The locker room was buzzing, music blasting, girls dancing around, and the atmosphere generally excited. But all you could feel was the emptiness of your stomach, the pounding in your head from the harsh drum beats of the music, the way the backs of your ankles had large red blisters from how your skin had thinned and now the bone rubbed right against the back of your cleats now, the overwhelming feeling of loneliness, knowing that neither of your parents were in the crowd. So you kept quiet, avoiding conversations unless they were completely necessary, slipping out of the locker room as soon as you had finished changing. 

You were starting today, playing up the front with Alexia. You two had become known for your chemistry on and off the pitch, goal scoring machines on it and best friends off it. Alexia had been insanely worried about you recently, living with you, she had obviously noticed your tendency to stay in bed and skip meals, she’d always push for you to eat, but you always passed it off with a “Sorry, I’m not feeling well, I think I’m just going to go to bed.” “Oh, no, gracias, I’m not hungry.”. 

You jogged onto the pitch behind Alexia, before joining the line facing out to the stadium while the National Anthems played, Alexia had her arms wrapped around my shoulders, and her firm grip and presence felt like it was just about the only thing holding you up in that moment. You refused to look at the place where your parents always sat, not being able to bear the sight of someone else sitting in their seats. 

The first whistle blew, and you played well for the first half, scoring a goal in the 26th minute after Alexia set you up for a header. You didn’t really know how to celebrate it, there was no point in doing your usual celebration, because there was no one to look through your heart hands at. You barely even smiled, letting the team just crowd around you with a group hug type thing before getting back to it. You scored again about 10 minutes into the second half, the equalizer, the score was now 2 all, but once again, you barely celebrated. Running on an empty stomach had meant that the game had drained most of your energy, and you weren’t really in the right frame of mind for playing anyway, stuffed full or starving. 

Now, it was the 89th minute, and still a draw, someone needs to score, and quick. You snapped yourself out of the hazy, barely-there headspace you’d been playing in previously. Now was not time for being floaty and sloppy, now was the time to focus. You yelled at Alexia profusely for the ball, 45 seconds on the clock. She made a shit pass, but you managed to recover it. There were 2 defenders on you, and you were barely past halfway with no support, but a quick glance at the clock and you had made up your mind.

You shot. From halfway out. It was a powerful shot, with the perfect curve and force. You watched as it flew through the air, the stadium silent, but the second the ball hit the back of the net, the noise was near unbearable. 20 seconds to go, you’d scored a hattrick, won Barcelona the final, scored from halfway out, and not even celebrated. 

3-2 to Barcelona.

The final whistle blew. All Barcelona goals had been scored by the 16 year old girl. The 16 year old girl that hadn’t eaten in 2 days, the 16 year old girl that had no family to her name but an aunt that never liked her, the 16 year old girl that had secretly been an orphan for 2 weeks, the 16 year old girl that didn’t even know what to feel anymore. 

This was your dream. Win the Champions League for Barcelona. It’d been your dream for as long as you could remember. But it didn’t mean anything now. Not without papá waving his silly flag from the stands, cheering louder than everyone else in the section, wearing your jersey, waiting with open arms when the sound of the last whistle rang through the stadium. 

You stumbled off the pitch, the exhaustion and lack of fuel to keep your body going hitting you all once. You felt weirdly light, your head spinning and vision blurry, steps uneven, like the ground was moving beneath you, like you weren’t really controlling your body.

Eventually, you got to the locker room, where there was thankfully a few sandwiches and some Powerades laying around from before the game. As much as you really, really, didn’t want to eat them, you knew you couldn’t pass out. Not now anyway. So you swallow the two sandwiches down, washing the bready taste away with the Powerade, trying hard not to think about all the carbs and calories in the meal.

You made your way back out to the pitch. But you didn’t go into the middle to celebrate with the other girls. You just plonked down a little way in from the sideline, just staring out at everything, the crowd, the girls, the losing team, the fans, the losing fans. It wasn’t like you at all. You were always in the action, partying and pestering, but now, you were intentionally avoiding it. You hid away in the dugout when you saw the team looking around for you. Their star player. “The goal scoring machine at 16”, as some fans had nicknamed you.

“Y/N? What are you doing chica? Come celebrate!” Alexia called at you from the sidelines, grinning, a slight confused furrow in her brows. 

Welp, hiding place blown you guess. You sigh and get up, painting a fake smile across your face and letting Alexia wrap her arm around your shoulder as she leads you back to where the rest of the team are, in the middle of the pitch.

“Y/N! Our little superestrella (superstar)!” Mapi yells, excitedly making her way towards you, the rest of the team rushing along behind her, wanting to celebrate you. Attention. The last thing you wanted right now, but you were being smothered in it. 

Eventually, the team retreated from the pitch, and into the locker rooms. That was okay, there was far too much alcohol and drunk women in there for you to be allowed in, being underage still. So you went home. Despite practically winning the Champions League for Barcelona, you just ordered an Uber and took yourself home, flicking Alexia a quick text to tell her you’d left.

You got back to the shared apartment and struggled your way through a shower before crashing into bed, and crying. Bawling. Sobbing. Shaking. At one point, screaming.

Over the past two weeks, you had gone through a lot of the stages of grief, but most recently, anger. 

Why? Why had it had to happen to them? What had they done so wrong that the universe needed to kill them? Why you? Why them? You couldn’t remember your last words to them either, so nowadays any time someone left, you made sure to say a real goodbye. 

You had passed out after around 2 hours of violent crying, having cried so hard at one point you’d had to lean over the bed to be sick in the wastebasket between your nightstand and the mattress. It felt good, as your mamí had always said, better out than in. It also made you feel a tiny bit better about the sandwiches earlier too.

It wasn’t until 10am the next day Alexia stumbled in the front door. She wasn’t drunk anymore, but looked insanely hungover. She cracked the door to your bedroom and looked at you. Really looked at you. 

“Superestrella, we need to talk. There’s something wrong, and you’re going to tell me what it is.”

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a/n: sorry to leave it on a cliffhanger! but i just want to see how well this goes before launching into a second part. feedback would be greatly appreciated, but of course please be kind! 

requests for a part 2 (or any other requests): here

[dreamsinarcadia]

The one where Trent falls asleep against a window and his sister falls asleep on Jude Bellingham’s shoulder.

pairing: jude bellingham x fem!reader

warning: not proofread

p.s: first time writing a bellingham fic!

Jude risked a glance over the top of her head at Trent. His friend was, thankfully, fast asleep with his headphones plugged in and arms crossed tightly across his chest. Trent’s sister was in an equally blissful state of slumber, but unlike her brother she didn’t have the side of her face comically jammed up against the glass.

Jude wished he could reach into his pocket to grab his phone and snap a photo, because this was picture perfect blackmail material for the future. But there was no way he’d move a single muscle in fear of jostling awake the woman sandwiched between the pair of footballers.

She’d fallen asleep as soon as Trent ushered her into the middle seat, body slack and head falling sideways barely a minute into the journey.

Right onto Jude’s shoulder.

Okay, that was a lie.

The man had turned his head at the slight bump to his side, pausing briefly as he saw that she was sound asleep, the tiniest dent of irritation between her brows as her body attempted to readjust into a more comfortable position.

Their day at the carnival must have taken a lot more out of her than he had thought. This had been her first trip to Madrid, and the sheer intensity of the heat had been tough on someone who had grown up in the abysmal weather conditions of Liverpool.

For such a cheerful personification of sunshine as herself to fall asleep on the train ride back to the city… Jude found himself frowning at his lack of perception.

He would have cut the entire day short if she’d asked him to, no questions asked. He would have gotten down a car, left Trent with the rest of the group and walked her right to her hotel room, the media be damned.

Jude wasn’t sure if it was the jet lag, but she hadn’t been sleeping all too well. Trent had mentioned that this holiday was a much needed escape from her studies. She was in the final year of her undergraduate degree and teetering on the edge of a serious burnout. Assignments had left her a yawning mess and dragging her feet as she followed her big brother to Madrid for a much needed weekend of fun.

Trent was so busy strong-arming his sister into joining him on all the rides that he hadn’t noticed her rapidly depleting energy.

There was a noticeable loss of bounce in her step, her big beautiful brown eyes hadn’t sparkled in a hot minute, and her voice was quiet. Jude found himself missing her a lot more than he believed was acceptable - as far as missing one of his best mate’s sisters was allowed.

When they get back to the hotel, Jude made a promise to himself to snatch the laptop from her room and hold it hostage for the rest of the weekend.

If she refused to take care of herself, then he would.

Brought back to the present at the way her head threatened to detach itself from her neck at the way it kept falling forward, Jude decided that his next move was the chivalrous thing to do and cajoled her head to rest on his shoulder. A smile threatened to break out on his face when she immediately snuggled into his side, cheek resting comfortably on his shoulder.

With a cautionary glance at Trent, who was fogging up a storm on the window he was snoring on, Jude raised a hand to gently tuck a few wayward curls behind her ear, fingers tracing the apple of her cheek as they did so.

Her nose twitched as she sighed in contentment.

The moment was witnessed by an older woman who was making her way down the aisle, her red-faced husband toting a multitude of colorful bags behind them. With a cheeky smile in place, she craned her neck to mumble something to the older gentleman, who quickly looked at them and nodded in agreement before urging her to move on.

Now Jude was by no means anywhere near fluent in Spanish yet, but he knew enough to piece some words together. The woman had called them a beautiful couple.

Just the mere thought of her as his girlfriend was enough for a rush of heat to colour his cheeks and set the tips of ears on fire. As the train entered a tunnel, the compartment was immediately swallowed into a brief moment of darkness.

She stirred awake at the jarring change of brightness as they exited the tunnel.

Blinking, she realised that her cheek was smushed against something solid and warm. Peering up, she locked gazes with an amused Jude.

He wiggled his eyebrows at her. “Morning,” he greeted. The low rumble of his voice was powerful enough to send an electric shock wave down her spine and jumpstart her brain to assess the situation.

Oh God. Had she been drooling on Jude Bellingham’s shoulder?

She sprung back as if electrocuted, eyes wide as she smacked a hand on her chin to make sure there wasn’t any drool. Whipping her head around to see that her brother was practically dead to the world, she turned back to groan pitifully at the sheer embarrassment of the moment. “Oh my God, Jude, I’m so sorry!”

Her relationship with her brother’s friend had grown somewhat complicated over the years, the two of them tiptoeing around each other in the rare moments they would be alone in a room. They’ve been friends for so long, but something had changed at some point in time, and she was too afraid of Trent’s reaction to dare explore the shift in this relationship. Crushes were fleeting, but Trent’s ability to hold a grudge certainly was not.

Jude merely shook his head. Taking advantage of the woman floundering over what exactly to do next, he stretched his arm behind her frame to pull her closer to his side. And then, with the utmost caution, he placed a hand on her cheek. The heat radiating from his palm sent a shiver down her spine, while the softness of her skin dried up his throat to an extent that he had to swallow down the nerves threatening to break the innocent of this moment.

“Jude—”

“It’s fine,” he cut her off and gently pushed her head back onto his shoulder. “Go back to sleep. I’ll wake you up at our stop.”

It was the softest she’d ever heard him speak, and it made her limbs feel like jelly. “Um… really?” She whispered, unable to bring herself to look up at him. A good thing, perhaps, as she would have found it amusing to see the Jude Bellingham blush a curious shade of fire engine red.

Jude, of course, was trying so desperately not to hyperventilate at the way she basically slumped bonelessly against his side at his gentle command. The arm that was perched comfortably on her shoulder dropped down to curl around her waist, a hand finding solace on the sliver of skin left exposed to the cool air.

The sensation of warm fingers tracing patterns on her skin sent a bolt of electricity through her body, lighting a fire in her chest that she didn’t know existed in the first place. As warm as ever, she turned her head to press her face into his shoulder. “You don’t mind?” She mumbled into his shirt.

“Nah.” His reply was simple and instantaneous. His voice sounded contemplative, as if coming to a realisation he had not yet realised he had to perceive.

And when he ducked his head to press a kiss on her forehead, she felt her toes curl in sheer delight, any thought of confusion and any semblance of hesitancy dissipating in the feeling of the most delicate kiss she’d ever received.

“I don’t mind.”

Oh. Trent was going to kill them.

This will be proofread over time, I promise 🫶

Let me know what you think! Comments and reblogs are always appreciated!

[starryevermore]

dumb love, i love being stupid ✧ ruhn danaan 

angst city™ library |send in a request (consultrequest faqs first)

pairing: ruhn danaan x fem!reader 

summary: you thought you had found your forever, but he wanted to keep it casual. 

word count: 2,346

warnings?: angst city™ bitch, not proofread

“So how’s it going with that one girl? Been seeing her a lot lately.”

“Eh, we’re just keeping things casual,” Ruhn said, eyeing a pretty faun from across the bar. 

You watched as his friend—Declan, you realize—arched a brow, took a long sip of his drink. Ruhn couldn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes as Declan said, “That why you keep bringing her around so much?”

“We both know what this is. I like her company, so I invite her out sometimes. That a crime?” Ruhn didn’t wait for an answer. He set his drink down on the bar and began to make his way to the pretty faun. 

“Guess not.” Declan looked away from his friend, eyes somehow finding yours. Despite the distance and lighting, you couldn’t miss the flash of pity. 

Before he could say anything to you, you turned on your heel, ready to leave the White Raven with whatever scraps of your dignity you had intact. You pushed through the throngs of people, ignoring the annoyed voices of those who you accidentally elbowed in the process. You just needed to get out of there. 

A hand caught your arm just as the exit was finally in sight, pulling you to a stop. “Hey! Where are you going? The fun’s just about to start!” Bryce cheered. Behind her stood Hunt, who offered you a smile and a soft “hey.”

Wriggling lose of Bryce’s hold, trying to maintain an air of playfulness, you managed a laugh. “Some of us have early mornings and can’t party til dawn.”

Bryce rolled her eyes. “Don’t be a buzzkill. Do I need to drag Ruhn out of whatever corner he’s hiding in and convince you to stay?”

Your heart skipped a beat, and you prayed neither Bryce nor Hunt could hear it. “Didn’t realize he was here. Saw Declan for, like, half a second.”

She wiggled her eyebrows at you. “So that’s a yes? Getting your boy toy will get you to stay?”

“He’s not my boy toy,” you said, “and it makes me feel icky for you to call your brother that.”

“You’re no fun!” Bryce whined. 

Hunt, either because he believed your story about an early morning or because he could sense your unease, took Bryce by the waist and slowly began to urge her away. “C’mon, this is a losing battle.”

“Fine, but you’re coming to the party this weekend, right?”

You probably weren’t, but if agreeing was what it took to get out of the White Raven without crying in front of Ruhn’s friends, then that’s what you’d do. “Duh, you think I’d miss it?”

Bryce grinned, and Hunt finally successfully urged her into the crowd to find the rest of their friends. You loosed a breath, rolled your shoulders, and made your escape. No one stopped you again, or even spared you a glance. For that, you were grateful. You weren’t sure how much more people-ing you could handle. 

Unfortunately, you did plan on making one more stop before you went home. 

Ruhn really needed a better hiding spot for his spare key. Was there anything more obvious than a potted plant by the door? It would have been laughable if you weren’t effectively breaking into his home. (Is it really breaking in if you found the key? And when the owner of said key told you where it was hidden?) 

You didn’t bother being quiet, figured that all of the home’s residents were out at the White Raven. Yet, when you shut the door, a voice had you jumping out of your skin. 

“Ruhn come back with you?” Flynn asked, leaning against the entry to the kitchen. 

You tried to steady your breathing and racing heart. “Nah. Think he’s at the White Raven with Declan. I was just swinging by to grab a couple things I left behind.” You held up the spare key for him to see. “Y’all need a better place for this than the only potted plant on the property. You’re practically asking someone to steal all your shit.”

Flynn nodded. “Cool, cool. Shout if you need anything, and try not to rob us blind, yeah?”

“Eh, I’ll leave your shit alone, but can’t say the same for Ruhn and Declan,” you joked despite yourself. 

He snorted out a laugh. “You’re funny. Shame Ruhn got to you first.”

You shrugged. “I’ll only be a few minutes.”

As you walked up to Ruhn’s room, Flynn disappeared into the kitchen. He’d probably leave you alone. As long as you don’t take a long time, probably. You didn’t plan on sticking around, though. You just wanted to grab your things and get out before Ruhn returned with that faun he was eyeing. If he thought this was casual, the last thing he would want is for you to be hanging around while he was trying to get lucky. 

Thankfully, you knew where most of your things were. A couple of shirts thrown in his closet, a jacket strewn over a chair. Some miscellaneous socks mixed in with his laundry. You grabbed your lipgloss you thought you lost from the bathroom, and the pretty hand towel you brought because there was no way in hell you were using the scratchy ones they bought in bulk. Your favorite bras, buried in the top dresser drawer. 

Once you were satisfied you got everything you cared about, you made your way out of the home, praying that you wouldn’t run into Flynn again. 

He was on the couch when you came out. He eyed the bundle of clothes in your arms. “Moving out?” he teased. 

“Getting this stuff out before he thinks I’m trying to move in.”

“You and I both know Ruhn wouldn’t mind if you did. Honestly, he’d probably be more offended you were sneaking all that shit out.”

Liar. “Eh, I need to wash all this and I don’t trust you idiots to not fuck all my nice stuff up.”

Flynn laughed, throwing his head back. “You make us sound like beasts!”

“Excuse you, I was here when your sheets were stained pink after a sock made its way into the machine, and when half of Ruhn’s clothes got bleach stains after one of you forgot to rinse out the drum,” you giggled.

Fuck, you wished you had fallen for Flynn instead. Or even Declan. They were easy to talk to, and wouldn’t make you feel like an idiot for thinking that something more than casual was going on. That was more your fault than anything, you supposed. You knew who Ruhn was when he approached you at the White Raven all those months ago. He never tried to hide who he was. You were the idiot who thought he might settle down.

“Fair enough,” Flynn laughed. “Hey, you be careful alright? Ruhn’d kill me if you got hurt after leaving here.”

You were already hurt, but Flynn didn’t know that. Didn’t need to know that. “Yeah, yeah, whatever, you mother hen.”

Flynn flipped you off as you left, still laughing. The bitter part of you thought he was laughing at you, knowing how big of an idiot you were. The more rational part knew he was just having a nice time joking around with you. Whatever. You probably weren’t going to be seeing him around much either way. 

Loud knocking on the door woke you up. When you glanced at your phone for the time, it was barely one in the morning. Several more hours until you would need to start the day, and way too late for anyone to be bothering you right. With a groan, you got out of bed, wrapped yourself up with a robe, and went to the door, fully prepared to chew out whoever was interrupting your beauty sleep. 

You yanked open the door. Ruhn stood on the other side. Whatever steam you had rising up inside you dissipated when you saw him. 

Pulling the robe closer around you, you asked, “What are you doing here?” More questions stayed locked in your mind—Why aren’t you home? Why aren’t you with that pretty faun? 

“Flynn said you stopped by to get some of your things,” Ruhn said. “Looked like you took more than a few. Just wanted to see if you were alright.”

You opened the door wider so he could see into your small apartment. You gestured to the couch, where your laundry basket sat, topped off with the clothes you took back from his place. “Was needing to do laundry,” you lied. “Wanted to make sure all my stuff got washed.”

He pouted—actually pouted. “I could’ve done that for you.”

“It’s no big deal—”

“Or you could’ve done it at my place. Throw in a couple of my things if you didn’t have enough for a load,” he continued. Ruhn took a step into your apartment. You took a step back. “I like having your stuff around.”

“It’ll all probably end up there again anyways,” you shrugged. You doubted it. Ruhn might have wanted to keep this casual, but you weren’t that sort of person. You craved intimacy, the closeness of a relationship. If Ruhn wouldn’t offer that, you didn’t see the point in sticking around. 

Ruhn’s violet eyes searched yours. You weren’t sure what he was looking for. It would probably be easier to walk into your mind than try to pick it up with context clues, but you also didn’t want him anywhere near your head. You didn’t want to hear any excuses he had. Anyways, Ruhn was good about staying out of your mind. He said he didn’t want to violate your trust. What a joke. “Why didn’t you talk to me tonight?”

“Huh?”

“Dec said he saw you, and Bryce said you two talked. I was there, too. I know we didn’t plan on doing anything tonight, but I would’ve liked for you to say something.”

You crossed your arms over your chest. “Why are you really here, Ruhn? I know it’s not because I got my things or didn’t talk to you tonight.”

“Are we good?”

The scoff fell from your mouth before you could stop it. Seriously? Why did he even care? If this was casual, why did he care about your feelings? “You don’t have to pretend, Ruhn. I know you want to keep this casual.”

Ruhn blinked, slowly working his jaw. “What are you talking about?”

“If you want this to be casual, that’s fine. I mean, you wish you had told me that, but I can’t change the past. If you want, you know, company or whatever, that’s okay. But I’m not that sort of person. Let’s not let feelings get any more involved than they already are.”

Realization dawned in his eyes. It took him long enough. Ruhn was far from stupid. It didn’t make sense for it to take this long for it to all click. “You heard me and Dec.”

“And saw you with the pretty faun.”

Ruhn looked away. His jaw clenched and unclenched. “I didn’t realize you were there.”

“Does it matter that I was? I mean, if this is casual, you can flirt with anyone you want. You can fuck anyone you want.”

“Stop saying that,” he near-growled. You raised your brows. What right did he have to get upset? At you no less? Fuck, you needed to put an end to all of this. Tonight. Now. 

You couldn’t hide your own ire as you said, “Why? Only you get to call it casual? I get to sit around thinking that maybe you actually give a shit about me, that you want to stick around for the long term, but you get to sleep with half of the city. Do I have that right?”

“No.”

“No, I think I do,” you said. You reached out, started to push him toward the door. Ruhn snatched your hand and tugged you against him. “Ruhn, let me go.”

“No.”

“Let me go and get the fuck out of here.”

“No,” he insisted. It was hard to ignore the desperation in his voice, but you weren’t going to fall for any of his tricks. You fell for enough of him already. 

Tears pricked at your eyes. Godsdammit, you weren’t going to cry in front of him. He didn’t deserve to see you so vulnerable. Not anymore, at least. “I am not going to be the idiot in love with you,” you said, your voice thick, “not when you don’t give a shit about me.”

Ruhn’s eyes flashed. With what, you weren’t certain. “I fucking care about you!” he shouted. Oh, what you would’ve given to hear that just hours ago. Now, it meant nothing. 

“No. You either lied to Declan about this being casual, or you lied to me about wanting something with me. Either way, you lied. You do not lie to the people you care about.” You wrenched yourself away from Ruhn, grabbed the door, and pointed out to the hall. “Go. I won’t ask again.”

“I want to talk about this.”

You gestured into the hallway again. “I have nothing left to say. I’ve got neighbors, Ruhn, and you’re probably waking up the whole building.”

He said your name, so softly your resolve nearly crumbled. But you looked away, steeled yourself. You weren’t going to let yourself be treated like shit just for a fae who would never respect you. 

“Lose my number.”

Ruhn stepped toward you. He stopped right in front of you, brushed away a strand of hair that fell in your face. His eyes scanned over you, as if memorizing you. But you wouldn’t look at him. Couldn’t. Then he stepped through the threshold of the door, and you shut the door before he could say anything else, twisted the locks before he could try to open it.

You pressed your back against the door and sank down to the door. Face pressed against your knees, you began to cry, and you pretended you couldn’t hear Ruhn still standing on the other side. 

It was better off this way. 

[back2thebasics]

Charlie Swan x Fem Reader - Target Practice

Hopefully you guys like it! It's my first time trying to write Twilight fanfic but I had lots of fun writing this so I would be down to make more in the future if there is an interest.

Charlie Swan X Fem Reader- Target Practice -

Summary: You work as a Private Investigator. You first met Charlie at a gun range and ever since you saw him for the first time, you can't stop thinking about him. He notices you right away, not being able to keep his eyes off of you, intrigued by you. One day, he finally musters up the courage to approach you and start a conversation.

Content: 18+, MDNI, sexual content, guns, oral sex, public sex, age gap, 

WordCount: 4k

You had moved to Forks recently from a big city, looking for an escape from your stressful job as a private investigator. You had covered anything from cheating to much darker things that you were trying to forget about. You needed some time off, so you decided to switch things up and move to the small town of Forks, Washington. Not long after arriving, you discovered through a local newspaper that there was a gun range a few minutes out of town. The first time you shot a gun was for your weapon training course. It surprised you how easily you took to it and how you somewhat enjoyed the experience. The small rush of adrenaline and the focus required made your blood rush and made you feel alive. Luckily, you never required a gun for work, but you always kept one hidden in the glove box of your blacked out Mustang. The first time you went to the gun range, you had just wanted to check it out, but once there you felt stupid turning around. You entered the old looking concrete building, which almost looked like an old prison but smaller. You could already hear the loud gunshots, slightly muffled through the front door. 

Once inside, you went up to the front desk, which doubled as a large gun locker. The old man leaning back in an old wooden chair polished a gun looking up at you. He put the rifle down and stood to greet you. You pay the admission fee and the rounds of ammo and you, as you enter the second section of the range where the targets are, you feel the old man's stare. He probably knows every single customer, but you are new here and also the only woman in sight. You feel pairs of eyes on you as you go to your assigned booth at the very back. That's when you see Charlie for the first time. He is in the booth right next to yours, his focus remaining on the target ahead. You find him handsome from first sight. He was just your type. A little older, rugged, strong looking, with a full head of dark hair and a nicely trimmed mustache. He seemed quiet, observant, but discreet. You caught him glancing your way as you settled in your own booth at the very back. As you prepped your gun, you felt his eyes on you again, lingering, but not constantly. During your first visit to the shooting range, he stayed silent but sneaked intrigued glances towards you when he thought you wouldn't to notice. You had good aim the first visit despite being a little rusty. His was near perfect, you noticed. He pulled the trigger like it was breathing to him, never straying too far from his intended target. He also looked detached a little while he shot round after round like he did this every Sunday. Did he? You thought to yourself. It was only on your way out that first night that you noticed a patch on his jacket telling you he was a cop and the chief of police of Forks. 

The following two weekends, you made the trip to the gun range to shoot a few rounds, and you saw Charlie there each time. He seemed to allow himself to look at you more and more each visit, his gaze lingering longer than before. Then one day, he finally broke the silence at the end of a session. 

“Where you from anyway? Ive never seen you around?” He asked as you were taking a break. You pushed back the large noise canceling headphones that you wore while shooting. 

“I just moved here about a month ago. I’m from Seattle.” You explained, happy that he finally spoke to you. 

“Ah, that explains it. If you don't mind me asking, how did you learn to shoot like that?” He asked, arching a brow slightly. The sight made you hold in a giggle. 

“I'm a Private Investigator so the training came with the job but I ended up enjoying it so now I do it as a way to unwind, I guess.” You told him, looking up into his dark eyes. He nodded, as if finally able to solve the puzzle he’d been constructing in his head.

“Well, I have to say after me you might be the best shot in this town.” He chuckled softly, and the praise made your stomach do flips. You didn't think a random man’s opinion would mean so much to you, but you cared about what he thought of you. 

“Well Chief, thank you. My name is Y/N.” You stuck out your hand for a handshake, not yet knowing his name.

“Please call me Charlie.” He shook your hand, giving you a warm smile. His touch lingering slightly on your smaller hand. His hand slightly calloused and rough felt warm in your grip. You both pulled away and went back to your own thing. He kept shooting a few rounds. You found yourself simply watching him for the rest of the session. 

A few months later…

After settling in fully into the Forks' lifestyle, you noticed a few things. Charlie was everywhere, and everyone in town knew and respected him. He was also a very quiet, reserved man who was impossible to read at times. You always felt nervous talking to him for some reason despite his trustworthy reputation as the town's hero. You were sitting in the only bar in town. You rarely went out for drinks, but tonight you sat on a high stool dressed in a nice black jumpsuit. You took the time to do your hair and apply a little makeup, which was a rare sight. While you were lost in thought, a person suddenly occupied the empty seat next to you.

“Fancy seeing you here.” Charlie sat with an ease that made you think this was his usual spot. You flashed him a smile that he returned.

“Yeah, what are the odds?” You joked back, knowing it was the only bar around for miles. 

“You come here often?” You add in teasing him.

“Probably more than I should.” He joked back and gave the bartender a little signal. A few minutes later, a tall draft beer sat in front of him. Your cocktail sat half empty as you nursed it, taking your time to make sure you could still drive home after. The two of you sat and talked for a while, the time slipping by as easy conversation flowed effortlessly. 

“I have this cabin up in the mountains with an outdoor practice range. I usually go up there with my buddies during hunting season, but I was wondering if you'd maybe want to go there to shoot. I mean you don't have to but if it interests you, I could um.. take you.” He seemed to get flustered by the proposition. Was he asking you on a date? “Yeah, that sounds great. I'm free next weekend.” Your answer eased his antsy demeanor, and he settled back into the stool, smiling at you, pleased.

“Perfect then. Ill pick you up and we can go.” He confirmed and the thought of going on a weekend trip to his cabin excited you more than anything had in the past 2 months . 

The weekend came, and you felt like a teenager as you paced by your window waiting for his truck to pull into the driveway. The outfit you had spent hours debating was a functional but cute ensemble consisting of a pair of jeans, a black tank top paired with a soft Forrest green flannel, and a pair of lace up hiking boots. You heard the gravel crunch and then saw his truck slow to a stop. To your surprise, Charlie exited the truck and approached your front door. A loud but still polite knock sounded a few minutes later, and you had to stop yourself from running to the door like a love-struck teenager. Opening the door, you admired him for a moment. He had shaved, leaving only his signature mustache perfectly trimmed. He wore dark-colored jeans paired with a gray t-shirt and a faded leather jacket. He looked so handsome that you had to stop yourself from ogling too long and making things awkward.

“Ready to go?” He asked, flashing you a smile that almost took your breath away.

“Yeah, but I don't have a gun. Sorry, I forgot to mention that earlier.” You usually borrowed one from the range. 

"No worries, I got you covered." He replied, smirking. Walking back to his truck and you followed instinctively. He opened the hatch of his truck to reveal a black trunk of some sort. He pulled it towards him and unlatched the cover to reveal a whole arsenal of firearms, from pistols to rifles. 

There were loads of ammo and other things as well and you were relieved he came prepared. You were willing to simply watch him shoot if it had come to it. You climbed in the truck after Charlie held the door open for you. He drove the both of you into the mountains, the forest getting thicker the further you drove. You filled the silence with pleasant conversation. You couldn't remember feeling this comfortable with anyone on this level before meeting Charlie. He made you feel seen, safe and fuzzy inside. Like a warm roaring fire was slowly building within you every time you thought of him or saw him in town. Once you arrived at the cabin, he helped you out of the truck and gave you a quick tour of the property. He showed you around the little clearing where he had set up many targets of varying distances, sizes and difficulty. He seemed proud of his hard work as he walked you around, showing you all the little details he had thought of and engineered himself. He then brought you inside the cute little log cabin that had a small kitchen, bathroom and a single bedroom. The inside was decorated with memorabilia that had been collected over the years. The cabin had charm and you couldn't help but walk around appreciating all the little momentos that made the cabin feel alive. This place was Charlie's space and you could tell he had fun times here in the past with his friends. 

“Its so nice Charlie, wow.” You told him, admiring the little metal fireplace in the corner of the living room. He saw you looking and approached to start making a fire. “You like it?” He smiled, crouching down to add logs to the fireplace. 

“Yeah, I love it.” You replied, still finding more things to look at. Everything in here had a story behind it and you couldn't wait to ask him more about his different adventures. 

“We can take a little break and eat before we go out to shoot.” He lit the fire and then stood to cross the cabin over to the fridge.

“You brought food?” You asked confused, not remembering a cooler of any kind. He open the fridge door and the fridge was fully stocked.

“I came up here yesterday to make sure we had food and other supplies we might need.” He pulled out a few things, placing them on the counter and closing the door once more. The thought of him going through all this effort for you made your belly warm and a rush of butterflies to flutter around. There was a tension in the air but it wasn't the bad kind. You went to his side to help him prepare the food. You made some steak and potatoes along with some steamed green beans. 

“My daughter showed me how to cook. Without her I would still be eating tv dinners every night.” He laughed to himself, draining the boiling water from the potatoes carefully.

“You have a daughter? I didn't know.” There were still a few things you wanted to know about him and you were curious to learn more.

“Yeah, Bella, she doesn't live with me anymore. She has a husband Edward and they live together with their daughter, Renesmee. I go visit them as much as I can nowadays.” He seemed wistful but the love that shined in his eyes made it clear the level of affection he held for his daughter and her family. 

“Hopefully, I can meet her one day.” You smiled at him warmly.

“Yeah, that would be nice.” He agreed, looking into your eyes, his dark pupils flaring slightly. He looked away, going back to preparing the food. Once you were both done, you sat and ate in a peaceful silence. Then it was time for some fun.

You fired round after round, enjoying the rare sunshine that made the day even more special. You had friendly competitions with Charlie, who liked to tease that you were cheating by distracting him. In the end you won fair and square and you celebrated by opening a beer and sitting tother in the clearing on a large fallen log. He smiled at you as you took a sip of your beer. You were a little sweaty, your hair clung to the back of your neck from the beaming heat of the sun. Charlie seemed lost in thought, so you broke the silence first.

“What are you thinking about?” You asked softly.

“I can't remember the last time I was this happy.” He said simply, and the words flared something inside you like the fire that was building before it came to a roar suddenly. It gave you the confidence you needed to say the words that had been on your mind for the past month.

“I like you Charlie.” The words came out in a single breath, softly spoken, making you feel vulnerable.

“You do?” He asked, looking at you with a fierce look of longing. His question seemed like it served for his reassurance. Like he couldn't believe that someone like you could ever like someone like him.

“Yeah, a lot.” You replied nodding, a small smile forming on your lips. You felt nervous, giddy energy bubbling inside.

“Fuck sweetheart, you sure? I am a lot older than you are.” He seemed to be having an internal battle. You did have a considerable age gap between you, but that did not stop the attraction that you felt. He was kind, charming, warm and considerate, along with incredibly hot, which helped.

“I know, but that doesn't change anything for me. If it doesn't bother you then it doesn't bother me.” You said softly, scared he would reject you after bearing yourself to him. He looked torn and intense, and it made you nervous. 

“Listen, I don't want you to think I have ill intentions. I like you too, trust me. Shit, I don't remember the last time I felt like this. It makes me feel young again.” He swore and chuckled, shaking his head.

You felt hopeful, so you decided to take a leap of faith. You knew he would never make the first move, so you did. You leaned in slowly, giving him time to pull back if he wanted to. He instead pulled in closer as well and your lips met his. The kiss started slowly as you sighed into the soft contact of your lips. His mustache brushed against your upper lip and you gently griped the back of his neck with your hand. The kiss grew more intense as he brushed his tongue against your bottom lip mid kiss. You opened up for him and let your tongue explore as well. You pulled back breathless and the both of you held each other's eyes. Heat was building low in your stomach, sending a pool of liquid to your core. 

“Do you want to go inside?” He asked gruffly, his voice thick with desire.

“Yeah.” You led the way, standing from the log and feeling charlie follow behind you. Once inside, you couldn't hold back any longer and you almost pounced on him. Turning back to him once he closed the door and pressing him up against it, resuming the kiss you shared outside. It took him a split second to return the kiss, gripping your hips firmly with strong hands. He surprised you by turning the both of you suddenly so your back was pressed against the door. You released a small breath and looped your hands around his neck. He grabbed behind your thighs and lifted you effortlessly so your legs wrapped around his torso.

 The kiss continued fierce and passionate. Your hands gripped the back of his hair slightly, tugging the short strands between your fingers, earning a rough rumble from Charlie. The sound set another wave of lust to your core. You broke the kiss panting and looked into his blazing dark eyes that devoured you. 

“Charlie, I need you.” You spoke the words sounding needy even to your own ears.

“Fuck sweetheart, are you sure?” He asked for your consent, his eyes hopeful but careful, making sure you felt comfortable.

“Yes, Ive never been more sure.” You answered with a small smile, knowing this was important to him. 

“I don't have any, um, protection, darling.” His low, almost embarrassed voice made your heart swell. You stroked your thumb on his cheek. “I'm on birth control. It's okay.” You answered, soothing his worries.

You saw the restraint in him give in that moment as he carried you to the bedroom. You felt the excitement return, and you started peppering kisses to his jaw, down his neck, over the strong column of his stubbled throat. He groaned deep in his throat, a sound of pure male pleasure and it encouraged you. He set you down gently on the queen size bed hovering over you and leaning down to return the favour. He trailed kisses down your neck to your exposed collar bones, spreading kisses across them like he was appreciating every inch of your skin. You shivered with pleasure beneath his strong frame. He gently helped you out of the flannel you wore and then the tank top and jeans, leaving you in your underwear. Then you went to work on his clothing, shedding him of his layers until he was in his boxers and socks. 

The two of you continued the frenzied kissing like horny teenagers because that's what you both felt like. He was hard and you could tell it was big. It excited you and your hand trailed down to pull out his large cock from the confines of his underwear. He let out a huff of breath and he groaned when you started stroking him slowly, teasing him a little. He sat back and pulled you up with him so you were straddling his lap. He expertly unclasped your bra, and the look of admiration and pure lust thrilled you. He spent time appreciating your breasts, kissing them, licking your hard budding nipples, and then gently nipping the tips with his teeth, sending you twitching of pleasure in his arms. He made another guttural sound of pleasure and then you were beneath him again. He was trailing kisses down your stomach, going lower and lower until he reached your soaking wet clothed mound. He peeled your wet underwear from your legs and flicked them on the floor. He looked up at you with an intense lustful gaze, his dark eyes asking before his lips spoke the words.

“Can I?” The question was almost whispered against your core, sending shivers up your spine. You nodded quickly, flustered. Your cheeks felt warm and your breathing was still a little erratic from the intensity of the moment. He dipped down to your slick folds and got to work, starting with slow teasing licks that made you crazy. Your hands instinctively flew out to grip his dark brown hair. You felt his facial hair brush against your inner thighs and it turned you on. He devoured your pussy like a starving man, with languid strokes of his tongue that increased in speed slowly, followed by slightly sucking on your sensitive clit. You pulled harder on his hair, releasing little moans and soft cries at the pleasure. He increased in speed and intensity until you felt the slow climb of your orgasm forming. It came like a crashing wave, strong and sure. The white hot pleasure peaking and sending you free falling of the ledge. Your legs shook as you came on his tongue, moaning loudly and releasing his hair to grip the sheets tightly with bunched fists. He pulled back after you were done riding the comedown of your dizzying orgasm.

“You taste so good, Princess.” He praised low and throaty from his own desire. 

“Charlie, I want your dick.” The request left you without even thinking, you were still hypnotized from the rush of coming hard for him. He seemed pleased at the words and he pulled down his boxer briefs, his fully erect dick touching his happy trail. He was a good 7 inches for sure and the sight of him in his full glory made your mouth water. He positioned himself until he was lined up to your slick entrance and then, with a smooth slow thrust, he pushed in. The feeling of him filling you slowly was exquisite. He groaned and squeezed his eyes shut in pleasure.

“Fuck you're so tight.” He cursed under his breath as he started to test out a few thrusts. You moaned as he slowly picked up the pace. He braced himself on his elbows, caging you into him and sending his smell to flood your senses. He smelled faintly of pine and sweat and it turned you on more than any expensive cologne could. He fucks you deep, powerful thrusts and your moans increase in volume. He looks down into your eyes with lust, sweat beading on his forehead from the exertion. He lets out little groans and muffled curses as he fucks you. 

“You're so pretty when I fuck you, sweetheart.” He coos, pounding into you and sending you close to a second orgasm already. 

“Fuck yes Charlie.” You moan out his name, clutching the surrounding sheets in pleasure. 

Your back arches and you feel one of his strong, calloused hands on the small of your back, holding you up and pressing your front to his chest as he thrusts into you fast and strong. 

Your sensitive nipples rub against his hairy chest and it sends sparks of electricity through your body as you feel the peak of your second orgasm approaching. It rocks through your body and you pull him in for a needy kiss. You come while kissing him, breaking apart to moan out his name as you convulse in his powerful grip. Your toes curl, your back arching even more and then you come even harder than the last time. Your vision blurs a little as you come down from the high, still pressed close to a panting Charlie, who came at the same time. He pulls out slowly and then stands to grab tissues from the wooden side table next to the bed. He wipes you first, then himself. Then he approaches where you sit at the edge of the bed, watching him with a loving smile. He settles into the bed, pulling you close to him, and you cuddle with him in the drowsy post orgasm haze. His hairy chest serves as your pillow as you gently stroke his shoulder and then trail your fingers on his chest. You sigh happily.

“You know that was the best sex I've ever had.” He smiles down at you, flashing you with one of those breathtaking smiles.

“Me too.” You agree, smiling wider and then pulling him in for another kiss. 

[withwritersblock]

More Hearts Than Mine -Her Sister Spends the Night

~More Hearts Than Mine by Ingrid Andress~

Author's Note: I'm not a huge fan of the way this one was written but I adore this series so much. Oh also the game I am referencing of Quinn's in the beginning is the game the Avs came back from a 3-0 deficit to beat the Canucks. tehe. I love Luke Hughes but I am an Avs fan until I die. Summary: Jasmine seeks out advice from her older sister and Luke. Warnings: I don't think so? Word Count: 2,664 Luke Hughes x fm!reader

She was laying on her back as Luke was laying on top of her, his head rested on her chest. He was watching the Canucks game on the TV screen as he ran his hand up and down her side. Her fingertips trailed up and down his back slowly. The Canucks were playing the Avs and they were up by three goals.

“Why are his games always so late?” he let out with a yawn, she chuckled as she curled her fingers in his hair. 

“Time Zones, baby,” she teased.

“Time Zones are stupid,” he mumbled as he pressed his lips against her collarbone. He shut his eyes as he continued peppering kisses along her skin.

“Luke,” she mumbled as a wide smile formed on her lips. She tilted her head back as she bit her lip. His hands gripped her waist tightly as she arched her back into him, “What about the game?”

“They’re up by three,” he said with a chuckle as he reached for the remote on the coffee table. Her phone started to ring on the coffee table as well. Instead of reaching for the remote, he took a hold of the phone handing it to her. “It’s your sister,” he mumbled as he reluctantly stood up from his lying position on top of her. “I’m gonna-” he trailed off as he pointed towards her bedroom.

She rolled her eyes playfully as she pulled the phone up to her ear, “Hey Jasmine, it’s late, are you okay?” Y/N asked as she stood up from the couch, turning off the TV in the process. 

“Yeah, I’m good. I just miss my sister,” she said as her voice broke slightly. Y/N pouted as she walked towards her bedroom. “Are you and Luke busy this weekend? I was wondering if I could stay with you guys for a few days.” She sniffled on her end of the phone.

She stepped inside her bedroom to see Luke sprailed out on the bed, scrolling on his phone. He lifted his gaze, admiring her frame while biting his lip. “Uh-Luke has a game Saturday afternoon but otherwise we aren’t busy,” she mumbled. Luke’s eyes widened as he nodded slightly, “I can pick you up after school tomorrow and bring you back to the city,”

Y/N sat down on the bed as Luke slid closer to her, he slowly ran his hand along her lower back. “Wait really?” she asked excitedly.

“Maybe, just maybe bring your jersey with you,” she teased. Jasmine gasped excitedly. Luke let out a dry chuckle as he slowly glided his hand beneath her shirt.

“Thank you, Y/N! It’s going to be so fun!” Jasmine said, “I just need a break from home for a few days,”

It was unusual for Jasmine to even call her sister, let alone want to come stay with her for a few days. Y/N was going to take the opportunity.

“Of course, Sis. Well, we are getting ready for bed, so I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Y/N offered.

“Yeah, yeah. Good night,” Jasmine said before she hung up the phone. Y/N slowly dropped the phone from her ear. She switched her gaze towards him. He smiled softly as he tilted his head to the side. 

“Is she okay?” Luke asked as he continued delicately rubbing his hand on her skin. She reached her hand over and delicately rested it onto his pinked cheeks. 

“Something seems off but she wants to come visit us,” she muttered as she ran her thumb across his cheek, “She seems to think we live together though,” she let out while squinted her eyes slightly. She smirked.

He returned the smirk as he clenched his jaw, “I guess I do spend a lot of time here, huh?”

She leaned towards him delicately pressing her lips against his. He gripped her hip tightly as she slid closer to him. She slowly climbed on top of him, straddling his body. He gripped her thighs as she grinded against his lap. She pulled her lips away from his own as she fluttered her eyes open.

“What if you did?” she mumbled as she delicately ran her finger across his lower lip. He pressed his lips against her finger, “I mean you only stay at your place when you have an early travel day. Most of your clothes are here, you buy groceries-”

“Well that’s because you were surviving on Poptarts and ramen instead of real food,” he countered as he giggled. She rolled her eyes playfully as she rested her hand on the base of his neck.

“What do you think?” she asked as she raised her eyebrows. He pursed his lips forward as he tilted his head to the side a little bit. 

“You just want help with the rent, huh? I’ve got this big NHL salary that-” he teased.

She gasped as she leaned away from him still straddling his body. She delicately slapped her hand against his chest, “You know what, just for that, I take back my offer,” She started to climb off of his lap but he quickly took a hold of her waist. Pulling her towards him, he smirked as he scanned her features. He ran his hands up and down her thighs.

“We are going to have to do some redecorating-”

“Oh shut up,” she muttered as she leaned down and kissed him urgently.

~~~

Luke stood at the stove finishing up stirring up the stirfry he made for Y/N, Jasmine, and himself. He was humming along to the country music playing. After a few more minutes, “Lukey,” Y/N called out as she walked inside with Jasmine. Luke lifted his gaze and smiled widely towards the pair that walked inside.

“Hey! Dinner is almost done. I didn’t know if you’d like stir fry. If you don’t want that I can put in a frozen pizza,” Luke expressed as he met Jasmine’s gaze. She smiled softly as she adjusted the bag on her shoulder.

“Stir fry is great, thanks,” she mumbled.

“Why don’t you put your stuff in our room?” Y/N offered as she delicately rested her hand on Jasmine’s shoulder. She nodded as she wandered towards the bedroom. Y/N dropped her keys on the counter beside the vase that was nearly exploding with roses. “You didn’t have to cook us dinner,” she mumbled as she leaned her head against his arm. 

He smiled as he wrapped his arm around her, he kissed her head. “Of course I did, Baby. How was the drive?” he asked as she slipped away from his grasp. She leaned against the counter, watching him add a few more seasonings to the pan. 

“It wasn’t bad, Jasmine and I jammed out to some 5 Seconds of Summer,” 

“That’s good, I’m glad,” he mumbled as he turned the stove off, “Did she tell you why all of the sudden she wanted to come visit?” he asked quietly and Y/N shook her head. “We’ll make it a fun weekend for her,” he said as he stepped away from the stove.

“Thank you,” she let out barely above a whisper. He smiled as he leaned towards her and delicately pressed his lips against her cheek.

“Come on, Baby, let’s eat,” he muttered.

After a few minutes the table was set up and the three of them were sitting and eating the amazing dinner that Luke prepared for them. “This is really good,” Jasmine said with a mouthful. 

“Thank you,” Luke said as he smiled towards Jasmine.

“Where’d you learn how to cook?” Jasmine asked. Luke took a bite of food before tilting his head back. He shrugged his shoulders.

“My older brother Quinn can cook pretty well so he’s been teaching me for the past few summers,” he explained, “Also my brother Jack and your sister can’t cook for shit so somebody has to feed them,” 

“That is not true!” Y/N countered. 

“You can make two things, burnt eggs and a decent grilled cheese.” Luke countered as his lips curled up in a half smile.

“He’s not wrong, Y/N. Remember that time you tried making mac and cheese for EJ and I and you forgot to put water in the noodles!” Jasmine let out. Luke’s eyes widened dramatically as he stared towards Y/N. 

“What do you mean you didn’t put water in the noodles?” Luke asked while chuckling.

“I went to put water in the noodles but you and EJ were screaming at one another. I forgot that I didn’t put water in it and just put the noodles on the stove,” she defended. 

“You just look into the pot, Darling, that’s how you see if there’s water in it or not,” Luke teased as he rested his hand onto her thigh. Jasmine smiled politely at the mention of EJ. 

“Not funny,” she poked his side.

~~~

It was a few hours after dinner and the three of them were sitting on the couch letting Jasmine pick a movie for them to watch. She sat leaning her body forward as she scrolled through Max trying to find something interesting enough. Y/N sat beside Luke as she curled into his side. His hand was doing small circles against her hip as he kept his gaze on his phone as he was texting with Quinn. Y/N kept her gaze on her little sister, who was a little off the whole afternoon. 

“Have you guys seen Barbie?” Jasmine asked as she stopped on the screen. Luke let out a dramatic sigh.

“Yes, we did and we got dressed up,” Y/N said excitedly.

“No way,” Jasmine said wide eyed, “Do you have pictures?” she asked. Y/N pulled her phone from her pocket as she scrolled to the handful of pictures of herself with Luke and several other couples from the team going to see the movie together. Each pair dressed up in dramatic Barbie and Ken fashion. 

Y/N was wearing a short bright pink dress with a bright white pair of sneakers. Luke was wearing a light pink t-shirt with a light blue sweater vest tied over his shoulders with a pair of white shorts. Many of the guys on the team wore similar outfits and were standing closely with their Barbie. 

“Twitter went nuts when we shared these photos,” Y/N said, mentioning the fans. Jasmine shook her head as she zoomed in on each player that was in the photo. 

“Can we watch it again?” she asked.

“Of course, let me go make us some bowls of ice cream,” Y/N said while raising her eyebrows. She stood up and Luke followed her towards the kitchen. She pulled the gallon of ice cream from the freezer and placed it onto the counter. Luke rested his hand onto the counter as he came up behind Y/N delicately kissing her cheek for a brief moment.

It wasn’t awkward for him to show affection towards Y/N that much anymore around her family. It was becoming natural and she was grateful for that.

“Is it weird that social media knows about your relationship?” Jasmine asked from the couch. Luke tilted his head to the side as he furrowed his eyebrows. Y/N took a sharp breath. Jasmine was staring towards her hands for a few seconds as she anxiously messed with her nails.

“Some of the fans aren’t the nicest to Y/N but it’s easier not hiding it from social media,” Luke explained as he met Jasmine’s gaze, “I also have seen a few signs that say something like ‘only here for Y/N’s boyfriend’.” Luke further explains as he runs his fingers through his hair. 

“Why do you ask?” Y/N asked Jasmine as she added another scoop of ice cream into Jasmine’s bowl.

“EJ was having Joey over for a sleepover this weekend and Joey asked me not to be there because he thought it would be obvious to EJ that we are dating,” she let out in a long rushed sentence. Luke’s eyes widened as he stuck a spoon into the bowl he claimed. 

“I-I didn’t know you and Joey were dating,” Y/N let out as she put the ice cream back in the freezer before she took a hold of the two bowls and walked towards the couch beside Jasmine.

Joey was EJ’s best friend. Since Jasmine and EJ have the same friend group, Jasmine and Joey were close as well. Y/N quickly handed Jasmine her bowl of ice cream as she sat down beside her.

“We didn’t want EJ to find out because he would flip out. I really like him but I don’t want EJ to be mad,”

“Why would EJ be mad?” Y/N asked as Luke slid closer to her, bumping his thigh against hers.

“Because he was Joey’s friend first and if he found out that we were dating it would be weird and awkward. I’m just tired of hiding it,”

“Who asked to keep it a secret?” Luke asked as he brought a spoonful of ice cream towards his mouth. It was against the diet restrictions of the season but he didn’t care. 

Jasmine stayed quiet as she brought her own spoonful towards her own mouth as she met Luke’s gaze. “It was Joey’s,” she mumbled. Y/N glanced towards Luke, hesitantly trying to find the best way to comfort her sister. “It just sucks. We were friends first! I don’t know why he wanted me out of my own house, so he can hang out with my brother. I just don’t get it,” she mumbled, getting teary eyed.

“It seems like he’s trying to spare his own feelings,” Y/N offered as she felt Luke rest his hand on her lower back, “He’s dating his best friend's sister. You guys are all in the same friend group, it could get messy. Maybe he isn’t sure how to go about all of that,”

“Well then why did he make the first move?” she pleaded. Luke's eyes widened as his lips fell into a pout.

“Guys that age don’t really think before they do something. He’s probably liked you for a long time and didn’t know what to do. Maybe now he’s panicking and doesn’t know how to handle it properly.” Luke explained. Jasmine met his gaze as she wiped a tear that fell from her eye. 

“Did you do something like that when you were younger?” she asked. 

Luke shyly smiled as he licked his lips nervously, “I didn’t really date anyone until your sister,” he muttered. Jasmine pulled her head back as she fought a smirk on her lips. 

“Really?” she asked as she glanced towards Y/N. 

“I was really focused on hockey and-”

“Shy, he’s really shy,” Y/N interrupted him as she leaned towards him. Jasmine lauaghed as she tilted her head back. Luke’s mouth fell open as he fought the smile forming on his lips.

“But if you two just talk to your brother, I’m sure EJ will be understanding. I think he’d just want you both happy,” Luke switched the subject back to Jasmine’s situation. “And if anything happens between the two of you, EJ would be more upset with Joey than you,”

“I don’t know about that,” Jasmine sighed out.

“I do,” Y/N said confidently. Jasmine smiled softly as she shifted her gaze towards the TV screen that was still showing the first second of the Barbie movie.

“So you seriously didn’t date anyone until my sister?” Jasmine questioned. Luke clenched his jaw as he pursed his lips forward. He took a long breath.

“I didn’t think I would ever be a good boyfriend,” he shrugged.

“My dad likes you, I’m pretty sure you’re a great boyfriend,” Jasmine let out while wide eyed. 

“It’s true,” Y/N mumbled as she kissed him briefly. Jasmine cringed as she pressed play on the movie finally.

[httpiastri]

PERFECTLY FINE – CHAPTER FIVE

genre: angst, fluff, comfort, the usual

word count: 5.0k

warnings: hmmmmm don't think so!!

author's note: hello hello !! finally done with this!!!! took me ages 😵 anywayssss i was supposed to include like italian cities and everything but i have 0 knowledge of italy i've realized, it's been ages since i went there... so pls forgive me for that, hope this makes sense anyway :) hope you enjoy!!

series masterlist

"we came home from a run in the mountains about… ten minutes ago?" you start, checking your watch. "the view was actually mental, i will send you some pictures."

your mother hums on the other side of the line. "that sounds lovely, darling." she pauses for a moment and you sit down on the edge of your hotel room bed. "where is ollie now? is he around? can i talk to him?"

"he's in the shower," you tell her, ears instinctively listening for that familiar sound of the shower running and the soft humming by your boyfriend. "but i can put him on when he's done, if you'd like."

the same night of the monaco grand prix, ollie managed to find a way for you to fly out to italy with him the following morning. you were into the idea when he proposed it, but right before you were traveling to the airport, you started to doubt if it was actually that good of an idea. you basically only had racing gear in your suitcase; no swimsuits or clothes to work-out in, and the only outfit even near fancy enough to wear to a real restaurant was the one you had worn to the ferrari celebratory dinner the night before.

but ollie insisted. i'll buy you everything you need, he told you, which you, of course, instantly refused. i want you with me, so if that's the price i need to pay, then it will be worth it.

ollie took a day in modena to re-pack his bags, to visit both prema and ferrari, and to just take some time to recharge with you after the race weekend. the following day, you started your trip down the country. but first, you needed to stop in another few cities for some shopping. after a lot of complaining, you agreed to let him pay for the clothes, but only if you got to pay for the coffee and gelato. pretty fair, if you may say so yourself.

you booked your hotel in a cozy little city neither of you had ever heard of before, somewhere close to the west coast, but you have been around in most neighboring cities by now. romantic dinners in charming restaurants, sunbathing by cozy little lakes, and a lot of hiking and running through scenic trails to keep up your physique during the break.

and, as you hoped beforehand, you've started to see ollie in a new, more romantic and more exciting light. the quiet evenings spent together, far away from the hustle and bustle of your regular lives, have been like a breath of fresh air; it's all so easy, so comfortable, so heartwarming. and after your talk with paul in monaco, there isn't even a dark, rainy paul-shaped cloud hanging over your head like there usually is.

you find yourself enjoying the different layers of him and every detail that make ollie that sweet guy you first went out with, and those initial butterflies from your first few months together have finally made their comeback. it's not a huge change, but definitely enough to make you feel like you're moving in the right direction.

"are you two having fun?" your mother asks, the tone of her voice a tad too innocent for you to ignore. "your father mentioned something about a fight, or…"

you can't help but scoff at her words – you know she means no harm, unlike your other parent, but even just the mention of your father irritates you these days. "we're not fighting, mum. everything is fine."

"i'm glad." another moment of silence, just as suspicious as the whole aura of this conversation. then, she lets out a laugh, her voice growing much more lighthearted. "do you two ever fight at all?"

you aren't having it, however. "not really," you say, continuing instantly. "i think it's silly to assume that it's a bad thing that we're never upset with each other. i don't understand it."

your mom clears her throat. "you've got it all wrong. all we want is for you to be happy," her voice booms out from the phone, a little louder now than before. "but fighting a little is healthy. dealing with your problems is important in a stable relationship."

you obviously understand her side of it, and you know she's right. but how could you ever bring yourself to fighting with ollie and causing him any extra pain when he deserves nothing but happiness? how could you ever put more pressure on him when he's already got the expectations and weight of the entire world resting on his shoulders?

besides, what would you even fight over? the fact that you aren't as passionate about him as you were about paul? or the fact that you don't feel the same way you used to with your ex?

this vacation was supposed to make you feel more, to make you fall deeper. sure, you still have a few days left, but will any amount of time ever be enough to get over paul?

"we have no issues," you say. "it's alright, we've got it under control."

you can hear your mom let out a little breath before she speaks up again. "if you say so, then i trust you." there's the faintest hint of sincerity in her words, enough to almost make you believe her. "he must've been very proud to see you on the podium."

a faint smile appears on your lips at the mention of monaco, nodding to yourself as you think back to the race. "he was. jealous, but proud."

"i think they were all jealous. maybe even paul." a confused frown takes over your face as you lie back over the sheets, staring up at the ceiling. "how was it to share the podium with him again? you two looked quite happy with each other."

"i guess."

"you guess? you two were hugging like…" she chuckles. "well, like it was a year ago."

you take a deep breath. "your point?"

"i was just thinking about how…." her words fall out of focus when your ears catch the sound of the shower being turned off and feet tapping against the tiled floor.

ollie then appears in the doorway to the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist and an intrigued look in his eyes. who are you talking to? he mouths.

"ollie just came out of the shower," you tell your mother as you push yourself up to a sitting position again, dropping your phone onto the bed and clicking a button. "you're on speaker, mum."

she calls out for him, and he smiles as he sits down next to you on the bed. "hello, mrs. harper," he says. "how are you doing?"

"lovely now that i get to hear your voice, sweetheart," she coos. "how are your parents doing?"

yet again, everything quiets down; ollie's mouth moves, and you see him politely laugh at something your mother says, but everything you can hear are your mother's words from before.

dealing with your problems is important in a stable relationship.

you reach forward to brush a wet strand of hair out of ollie's face, letting your hand fall down to his cheek. he looks down at you with gentle eyes and raised eyebrows, making you want to open up and tell him everything. about how badly you want to change to be the perfect partner for him, about everything you're feeling and about everything that makes you so terrified that your voice gives up on you. about how scared you are of even giving him a real chance, of actually falling for him, because what if he isn't enough?

but what if he is?

what if you allow yourself to fall and he's there to catch you every time?

today during dinner, ollie got an idea.

he loves the way that you can come up with conversation topics out of nowhere. he loves how you can rant the entire way to the restaurant about a karting race you drove in ten years ago, and he loves your little game of "is the couple at the table next to us siblings, happily married, or is one of them secretly only in it for the money?" during dinner dates.

but it doesn't help him get to know you any better, especially not on the deeper level he wishes to reach you on. it doesn't allow him to come closer, nor does it help you get closer to him, either.

but tonight, he hopes everything is about to change. if he just introduces the idea of talking to you, actually talking, then maybe it will come more naturally in the future, too.

ollie is sitting up in bed when you turn off the lights in the bathroom and enter the bedroom. his back is propped up against the headboard, phone in hands turning black the second he sees you appear. he plugs the phone in to charge, clearing his throat before speaking up. "can i ask you something?"

you nod as you walk over to your side of the bed. "of course."

"i'm pretty sure i wasn't the only one who thought it was strange that you stayed in red bull after your dad started working with the ferrari driver academy," he says, watching you sit down on the edge of the bed. "how come you didn't switch academies?"

you let out a sound, something between a sigh and a chuckle, looking over at him as you hold up the duvet. "do you want the short version or the long version?"

"the honest version."

"well," you start, slipping in under the covers. "there's a lot that went into it. ferrari is a cool brand and everything, and it would be an honor to represent them. but…" you shrug – or as much of a shrug as you can pull off while lying down. "i went to red bull because of my dad in the first place so…"

ollie doesn't say anything when you pause, his expression reflecting genuine interest. he's always been a great listener, and today is no different.

"plus, it's been pretty good not having my dad breathe down my neck every second. i would've gone absolutely crazy by now if he had been my boss."

ollie snorts, a grin appearing on his lips. "your dad is a good boss, though."

"if you say so," you respond with a roll of your eyes, one he can't quite decipher.

ollie takes a deep breath, seemingly preparing for his next words. "you didn't even want to join ferrari just to be with me more?"

you bite back the smile that wants to spread across your lips. "didn't wanna get too distracted from my goals."

"is that so?"

you nod, and ollie just looks down at you for a few moments, that grin still prominent on his lips, before shifting to turn off the lamp on his bedside table. he then lies down, joining you beneath the covers.

"genuinely, though," he begins. "when did you first realize you liked me?"

only the gentle, white light from the moon sneaking past the blinds keeps the bedroom somewhat lit now, but it's enough for you to catch the way the pillow has messed up his hair already. you turn your head, eyes following the beams in the ceiling and the chandelier dangling from it. you think it through for a few moments. "i think… something inside of me always liked you." you pause to find the correct words, but none of them seem to describe what you're really feeling. especially not in a way that will sound good to his ears. "like, something just clicked when we went out on our first date. it was like the puzzle pieces fell into place. like i suddenly realized my feelings."

when you look back at him, his eyes glimmer in the moonlight – or is it because of your answer? – and he doesn't move for a good few moments, just taking you in.

"your turn," you prod, supposing he'll need to think through his answer, too.

however, he answers within just a second. "in 2021," he says, completely serious, "when i saw you for the scouting finals."

you groan. "oh, shut up."

"it's true!" he exclaims, propping his head up on his arm. "of course, i knew of you before that day. but actually seeing you in real life, seeing your smile and hearing your laugh..."

"but you never said anything?" you ask, eyes flickering over his features, mentally drawing lines between his freckles and birthmarks. "or did i miss any signs?"

ollie shakes his head. "even when you weren't actually taken, i knew you were mentally with..." he doesn't say the name; he doesn't need to. instead, he starts talking again instantly. "but when i heard that you two had broken up, i knew i had to shoot my shot. i knew i wouldn't get another chance like that."

his words should fill you with joy. they should make you swoon, make you fall even more for him, make you feel like the luckiest person in the world. you have this perfect man lying right next to you, telling you about how he was waiting for years for his chance to be with you – what could be better?

but instead, there's a sharp pain in your chest.

what if you will never love ollie the way he loves you? in the way he deserves?

the sound of ollie pulling the keys out of the ignition finally draws you out of your thoughts, eyes flickering over to him. you've been mostly quiet for this entire forty-five-minute ride to your destination, your mind still stuck on your conversation from yesterday, but you think you can blame it on just wanting to hear ollie hum along to the italian songs on the radio.

you decided to travel to this cute little coastal town to go for a little swim after your morning run, and the name of the place ollie had suggested seemed familiar enough. you just weren't able to figure out why – until you finally arrived.

"i've been here before," you say as you jump out of the car, closing the door behind you. "me and dino were here two years ago, for our summer break."

ollie raises his eyebrows, pulling open the trunk lid. "just the two of you?" he asks and you shake your head.

"some other friends, too."

and paul. but the words die on your tongue. it's an unnecessary detail, anyway, you think.

in this context, sure. but the truth is that the trip was pretty much divided into two trips; your trip with paul, and dino's trip with your other friends. it was just months after you and paul had first gotten together, and this was your first trip together as more than friends. you were still in that initial honeymoon phase, able to spend hours and hours together without ever getting tired of each other, stuck in a haze of obsession and love and everything in between.

but you're not here with paul now. you can't be thinking about your former boyfriend when you're here with your current boyfriend, at a stunning beach in this beautiful weather.

ollie slings your beach bag over his shoulder, closing the trunk before making his way over to your side. "any good memories?" he asks, taking hold of your hand and beginning to drag you out of the parking lot. "or is there a reason you never came back?"

you hum. "we went here to the beach, and… we went to a nice restaurant in town," you say, gazing over the beach to see if you can find any empty sunbeds. "it had a funny name, but i... i don't remember what it was."

"was it any good?" he asks as he lets you pull him towards two sunbeds near the shore.

you nod, snatching two towels out of the bag before ollie even has a chance to put it down, draping them over the chairs. "they had this lovely pasta," you tug your sundress over your head, folding it up on one chair. "homemade tortellini, with this sauce made of-"

"what are you doing?" ollie cuts you off when he sees you sit down, his frown prominent. "i thought we were going swimming."

he's already dressed down solely in his swimming trunks, but not even the sight of his toned upper body is enough to make you waver now. "i just need a few minutes to tan so i..." you trail off as his frown melts into a pout. now, that is something you have a much harder time saying no to. "do i have to?"

"you do."

once you've stood up again, ollie moves in behind you and practically pushes you toward the water, explaining how good it will feel, post-morning run and everything. but the second your toes make contact with the water, you can't help but squeal, instantly shaking your head and backing away again. "i can't," you tell him. his hand wraps around your wrist as you try to move away, and now it's your time to pull your best puppy eyes. "let me warm up a bit first so that i can actually enjoy it."

"that's what you said yesterday," he counters, his other hand reaching to grab your other wrist. "but you stayed far away from the water all afternoon."

"you're right, but i promise that today-" you let out another screech when he tugs you closer to him before picking your body up in one swift motion. you press a warning finger to his chest as he takes a few slow steps out in the water. "oliver james bearman, you will put me down right this second, understood?"

he doesn't answer anything, because he seemingly doesn't understand. or maybe he just thought 'put me down' meant 'throw me into the icy water'.

he doesn't even look guilty over it; in fact, when you resurface and look over at him, he's grinning like the damn idiot he is. "oh, you will pay for this."

if by 'pay' you meant that he would get to pay for dinner that evening, then you were right.

sadly, not at that restaurant from the last time you were in town, but at a cute little trattoria near the city center. you stayed quite late because ollie got recognized as 'the guy who drove for ferrari in f1!' by the owner of the building, who then treated all customers to free drinks, and you obviously had to stay and celebrate with everyone. after the long ride back to your hotel, ollie was out like a light the moment his head hit the pillow.

however, you can't get your mind to rest.

yet again, you find yourself dwelling on yesterday's conversation, and this entire trip in general. no matter what you do, no matter what you try – counting sheep, recalling old racing memories, thinking about the rest of the season – your mind always falls back to the same thoughts.

it's as if your brain works on autopilot when you slowly get out of bed, pull open the door to the balcony, and step outside. the cold air should help bring you to your senses, you assume, but it doesn't really do anything other than make your brain spin even more. the city lights in the dark night seem miles and miles away, yet so close, and you have to sit down on the little chair by the corner of the balcony to steady yourself. what's going on? you didn't even have a lot to drink, and yet you feel more dizzy than your worst nights out. what's real and what isn't?

one of the few things you know for a fact is real is the series of low beeps from the phone in your hand, but it takes a couple of moments for you to realize that they're signals – meaning that you're calling someone.

you blink at your phone a few times as you try to figure out what number you've dialed and how to turn off the call because it's nearing three in the morning, but you don't make it in time. there's a clicking sound from the speakers, followed by a low grunt. "hello?"

suddenly, you're wide awake and clear-minded again.

as you're trying your best to figure out how the actual fuck you managed to call him at this hour – was it a pocket dial? or did he call you? – the person on the other side of the line grows impatient. "is this a prank call or are you going to say anything?"

"i'm so sorry, paul," you manage to get out, your voice getting caught in your throat for another few moments. thankfully, he allows you some time to regroup. "i have no idea why i called you, it- it was a mistake."

paul stays silent for a little longer before the clicking sound of a lamp being turned on plays from your phone. "you must've had something to say, no?" he asks, and your heart clenches slightly at the sound of his sleepy voice.

you take a deep breath. "well... i actually do have a question for you." you shoot a precautionary glance over to the balcony door, checking that you indeed remembered to close it properly. "you know when you, me, and dino went to italy in 2022? during the summer break?" he merely hums as an answer. "do you remember what that restaurant we went to like five times was called? the one with the delicious pasta? it had a funny name, but..."

he lets out a confused sound, and you imagine his eyebrows furrowing together like they always did when you used to ask him stupid questions back in the days. "um... not right now..." he sighs. "you mean the one in the corner of the town square?"

"yeah, that one."

"can't remember. sorry." you both go back to that silence from earlier, and you begin to ask yourself if it's less embarrassing to say goodbye or just hang up right now and pretend this never happened. "a bit of a random question, no?"

you chuckle, nodding to yourself. "well, i've been craving pasta... so i just thought about it..."

"can i also say something i've been thinking about?" he interjects suddenly.

"of course."

"well, i... i'd really like to apologize. for all of the things i said about you in the start of the season." the words hit you like a truck. you had assumed you would be somewhat friendly after monaco, but you never would've thought he would actually apologize to you. "it all got much worse than i had anticipated. i didn't mean it like that, i was just..." he sighs again. "i was worried about you."

in some sick and twisted way, his words actually do feel comforting. you understand where he's coming from, despite how little he's said; maybe it's the fact that you know each other so well by now that makes you understand how sorry he actually is. "i get it, paul. thank you for your concern-"

"like, i genuinely really never meant for that to happen," he says, not able to hold back from cutting you off. "i didn't think it could snowball that big and get so taken out of context. i should've known and been smarter."

"i appreciate that, actually," you say, voice softer now. "it means a lot."

the sincerity of his voice lingers, chipping away at the anger you've been holding onto. there's a strange mix of relief and hurt still swirling inside you, though, and you look around the balcony to try to find something to anchor your thoughts. you accidentally glance back into the hotel room, your eyes landing on ollie, peacefully asleep and so oblivious to the emotional storm you're navigating. the sight of the gentle rise and fall of his chest blends with the memory of paul's tired voice, and your mind gets going again. surely, you woke him up – but what if he was lying in bed with someone just like you were moments ago? what if you not only interrupted his sleep but also someone else's?

the words leave your lips before you can stop them. "how is your girl doing?" you bite down on your lip, shaking your head at yourself as an awkward silence fills the air.

"who?"

don't act stupid, paul, you think to yourself. "the girl you were with in imola." who else?

"oh, her," he says, voice suddenly much quieter than before. "i don't know her. haven't seen her since."

"oh." you can't tell if that makes you feel better or worse; was he willing to just go kiss any random girl?

"how is milton keynes treating you?" he asks, interrupting your thoughts before they can trail off. "pepe bothering you anything? no murders in the stairwell?"

"i'm... actually not there right now."

paul lets out a surprised sound. "where are you then?"

you don't say anything; you don't need to. the silence is enough of an answer for him.

"italy, of course. i get it." he takes a deep breath, which turns into a loud yawn before he speaks again. "well, i really should get back to sleeping..."

"i really am sorry for bothering you this late," you say, the guilt clear in your voice. "i shouldn't have called."

"you can always call me, you know. no matter the time."

this is far from the first time you've been on a call with him like this, late at night and thousands of kilometers away. but the words you're so used to telling him, the ones you almost let fall from your tongue, are the ones you aren't allowed to say – or even think of.

i miss you.

"ollie!"

his name sounds like a curse when it leaves your lips, a mixture of a groan and a whine following it. you can hear the laugh he tries to stifle despite him being many meters ahead of you. "what is it?"

"i'm too tired," you complain, stopping in your tracks. "my body is about five steps from giving up."

for the last day of your trip, ollie wanted to take you to one of his favorite spots in italy. did he admit that it required a bit of a hike? yes. but did he remember to mention exactly how awful of a hike it was, that it would take almost three hours and that it would be worse than any workout you've ever gone through? definitely not.

"we're almost there," he counters, turning around to wait for you to catch up with him. when you do, he wraps an arm around your waist, practically pulling you with him up the last hill. you can see the viewpoint already, but you can't squeeze one last drop of energy out of your legs.

"you've been saying that for the last two hours."

ollie laughs again, a sound that usually wakes the butterflies in your stomach but right now just annoys you. how is it fair that he has all this energy left? "you're going to love the view, come on."

he wasn't lying; the view truly is breathtaking. the valley beneath you seems to go on forever, a patchwork of forests and rivers filling the land. the mountain peaks jut up sharply against the sky as the clouds drift lazily overhead, their shadows dancing on the ground below. and the feeling of your boyfriend's arm around you just accentuates the feeling, making it all seem a little brighter and more colorful.

"worth it?" he asks after a few moments of silence.

"let me breathe for a minute, and then i can decide."

he lets you admire the scenery for a bit – but he's already memorized every tree and every mountaintop far too many times, so his eyes stay glued to your expression instead. he soon snaps out of his thoughts, shrugging his backpack off his shoulders. "i almost forgot," he starts as he crouches down a little, opening the zipper of the bag and starting to search through it. "i have something for you."

your eyes flicker down to him, interest in your gaze. "i hope you brought more of those chocolates-"

when you see what he pulls out of the bag, you instantly freeze. it's not the bag of sweets you had expected; it's a small velvet-lined box.

a ring box.

"don't freak out," he says when he takes note of your expression, and he stands up properly again. "it's not an engagement ring."

"ollie-"

"just open it."

when you remain still, he grabs one of your hands from your side, places the box in your hand, and prods you to lift the lid. the hesitance bubbling in your stomach makes your fingers tremble, but you finally open the lid, revealing a thin golden ring with a tiny heart-shaped gemstone.

"it's a promise ring," he explains. "it doesn't have to be a promise that we'll get married one day, or anything like that. but, just... to show that i'm serious about us."

you finally tear your gaze from the ring, wide eyes blinking up at him. "i..." you start, but no words feel right for this moment.

"i know it's sudden, but you can also think of it as an early birthday present," he tells you. "you don't have to accept it, of course. but it would mean a lot to me if you did."

but do you really have a choice?

can you actually promise to be serious about him, in the way he's serious about you?

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yourusername recharging the batteries 💗

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user thank you both for letting me take a pic with you 😭 made my week

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user gorggg!! hope you've had a good break <3

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redbulljuniorteam can't wait to see you back on track 💪

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user gonna have to steal you from ollie actually!! you're mine now 🫵

→ user i'll take ollie then 🤭

→ user deal

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olliebearman ❤️

[mermaidgirl30]

Shout out to @mandoisapunk for being my beta reader! One shot is posted on A03! @pedrostories

Rating: Explicit (18+)

Pairings: Joel x Reader, Joel x female reader

Word count: 8,905

Summary: After having a bad breakup with Joel Miller, you decide you need a night at the bar to relax and meet someone new. Little do you know, Joel is there but he’s with someone new. Will you let your jealousy get the best of you or will you get revenge with another man at the bar?

Warnings/Tags: No Outbreak, jealousy, angst, longing, fluff and smut, cream pie, oral, fingering, unprotected P in V, Dom Joel, possessive Joel, porn with plot, lots of smut, drama, makeup sex

It was a warm summer evening. The Texas heat was brutal, but the nighttime was just a little more bearable as the temperature dropped from 100 to the 80’s. It was Friday night, the one night where the city of Austin came to life the most. Cars crowded the streets with their flashy lights and music that was turned up too loud. Just a normal start to the weekend.

You’d spent most of the early evening getting ready in your too bright, too bulky vanity. Caking your lips with the darkest red lipstick you could find, putting on that perfect shade of pink eyeshadow, getting your eyeliner smooth and sharp, and curling your hair into long waves. You had to look perfect tonight. You were in the mood to flirt, maybe meet a nice guy, maybe bring someone home. It was all up in the air, you just needed to get out of the house. You needed attention. Needed to get your mind off him. It had been a long, insufferable week at work, and you just needed a break.

You walked down Sixth Street that was filled with busy bars and noisy people, settling on a bar called The Black Stallion. A bar you usually didn’t go to. You could’ve gone to all your usuals, but you figured you’d try something new. Maybe tonight would be your lucky night.

You didn’t answer the phone when the girls called earlier, you just needed a night alone to unwind, uncoil all your raging thoughts that had been stirring in your mind.

You’d been doing so good lately. It’d been days since you last saw him. Weeks since you last touched him. You didn’t need him though. It was over between you two, and you had to accept it.

Acceptance could be messy though, and that’s what you’d been lately. A fucking wreck. You thrived off cheap liquor and lousy hook ups to get you through the weeks, trying your best to move on and keep your mind busy. It didn’t really work much though.

Not really.

But you were getting better. One day at a time.

You’d gone days without thinking of him, keeping your mind on men that could be your next obsession to fill the void. Someone who would want to wine and dine you, treat you right. You liked Golden Retriever boyfriends who were kind and sweet. But they weren’t anywhere near what Doberman boyfriends were. Overprotective, loyal, powerful. The ones that say “Touch her and you die” kind of vibes. That’s what Joel was, your Doberman…

No, fuck that and fuck him. You were not doing this tonight. You were here to have fun, to meet someone new. No more thoughts of Joel. He was in the past. You had to look towards your future, with someone better.

Something pulled deep inside you though. Something you pushed down, crushing it with the too high black heels you had on. Sinking it further into the cracks with every clank they made against the pavement that you walked across. This was your time to shine, to go in there and act like you own the place. You sighed and took a deep breath, calming yourself before you stepped in.

You walked into the lit up bar with your head held high. The air smelled like all sorts of liquor and the hint of cigarette smoke that lingered high in the air. The place was packed. Bodies were littered all around you. A couple that was too cozy wrapped themselves up together right next to the door, melding together in a passionate kiss. You rolled your eyes and kept moving forward, it made you sick.

It was dim in here as the lights were down low. You moved past the packed in bodies and found a seat at the bar, pulling back a black barstool and sitting down. You leaned against the dark wood bar top and settled in, looking around at your surroundings. A large mirror covered the back wall as bottles of liquor sat on one another, making all sorts of fancy patterns next to the glass cups.

A pack of older biker men sat a few seats away from you, already ogling you. You wanted to roll your eyes, yell for them to stop staring, but it was pointless. You knew you looked good. You could snatch up any man you wanted if you really tried. But the only man you wanted attention from was gone. You pushed past the thought and flashed them a smile, not caring if you didn’t really mean to be flirty with them. They could have one smile. That was it.

The bartender came over to you, about to take your drink order you assumed. He was handsome, maybe just a couple years older than you. He had black slicked back hair and green eyes that could entrance any sane woman. He was over 6 feet tall and had a nice build. Seemed like a charming gentleman.

“What are you drinking tonight, sweetheart?” he asked smoothly, cleaning off a glass cup with a towel.

“Whiskey and coke, please,” you purred, gently smiling at him.

“A whiskey girl huh?” He raised an eyebrow in surprise.

You shrugged your shoulders. “It’s what I like.”

“Figured you’d be a fruity cocktail girl.”

“Sorry to disappoint,” you raised an eyebrow in defense.

“No disappointment here,” he said as he raised his hands in defeat. “One whiskey and coke coming right up.” He moved away and started mixing together your drink, watching him closely to make sure he knew what he was doing.

The truth was whiskey and coke wasn’t your usual. Not until you met Joel, then you were hooked. It was his favorite, his go to, his only choice of alcohol. And now it was yours as well. A taste you couldn’t shake. Your own personal brand of heroin. A taste you could get drunk off.

You remembered so clearly what it was like to hang off his lips, his breath smelling of whiskey as he drew you in, tangling his tongue with yours as you melted into him. A tingle ran down your spine just thinking of the way you got lost in his scent. Whiskey and mahogany. Your two favorite scents. You threw the thoughts out of your head quick before the bartender came back over. What the hell was wrong with you? It was over, done.

He came back and set the drink in front of you. “Here ya go, one whiskey and coke on the house. One of those gentlemen over there paid for your drink.”

You looked over and nodded to the man who did. He wasn’t your type at all. Short, buzz cut hair style, and grey eyes. You were still polite and smiled, looking back at the bartender. “Thanks.”

“Enjoy. Let me know if you need anything.” He smiled and turned away, going to help another customer a few seats away.

You took the straw that was in the drink and spun it around, watching the ice clink together as the amber colored liquid mixed before your eyes. You listened to the soft hum of Metallica carry through the bar, easing your mind of any tension you had seconds ago. You took a sip of your drink as the cold liquid ran down your throat, the sweet aftertaste hitting seconds later, covering the burn of the whiskey.

You glanced around the room, taking in the low lighting the bar encapsulated, watching the spin of couples on the small wooden dance floor, scanning the doorway as men trailed in and out of the bar. You were trying your best to relax.

Your eyes made their way to the pool tables, scanning over the groups of people that were crowded around them. The black walls mixed in with the red carpets of the pool table tops, along with the cue sticks that sat against the walls. You relaxed against the bar top, your knees grazing against the table.

Two couples that were holding hands walked away from the pool tables, making a clear path for you to see. As you took another drink from the cold glass, you froze. Choking on your alcohol and tipping the glass over, spilling it all over the bar surface as the glass hit the ground and shattered into tiny pieces.

Holy shit. What stood across the bar was a sight that blinded you. You felt as if a car had just crashed into you, your insides completely wrecked. Joel. There he was in his favorite red plaid shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows as his thick arms hugged the smooth material. Bulging veins covered his arms, his huge hands on each side of the pool table. Except they weren’t just on the pool table. He was leaning over some girl, and his hands were covering her waist.

You choked again on nothing, your throat constricting. She had big, blonde hair that was caked in hairspray. Her icy blue eyes fell over his face, a big red lipstick smile covering her mouth. Her double D’s were spilling out over her too small hot pink tank top. Her denim shorts were hiked up, almost showing her ass. She looked like the city slut, an instant sour taste entering your mouth.

Who the fuck did Joel Miller think he was taking out? Why was he with her? She was definitely not his type, but apparently you didn’t know what his type was anymore. It obviously wasn’t you.

Suddenly your short black dress felt too short, felt too tight as your chest suffocated against it. Your heels felt too tall, too uncomfortable. Your matted red lips felt dry, your throat barely catching any air. You swore you were about to get sick. You didn’t know if you wanted to scream at the top of your lungs or cry. Maybe you wanted to go pull out her fake bleach blonde extensions. You weren’t a violent person, but your insides were burning just watching her. Little miss give me attention getting ogled and touched by the Joel Miller. Give me a fucking break.

“You alright there, sweetheart? You broke your glass and look like you’ve just seen a ghost.” The sweet bartender was back in front of you, cleaning up the whiskey that you had spilt.

“I’m fine,” you said with gritted teeth, turning back to glance at just how close Joel was to the blonde bitch. Sliding his fingers over her thigh, teaching her exactly where to aim the cue stick on the table, leaning down against her. You were boiling alive inside, about to either run out of the bar or stand your ground and watch as jealousy burned through you.

“You don’t look fine to me,” he said carefully. “Now, what do you keep looking at huh?” He turned his head and looked in the direction of the pool tables. He spotted Joel and his new girl hovering over the pool table, all smiles and laughs. Pathetic.

“Oh, I see. You looking at that couple over there? He an old flame or something?”

“Something like that,” you said quietly, teeth still bared.

“That girl over there is named Brianna. She’s a frequent to this bar. I see her all the time with a different guy. She knows how to get around. She’s been coming with that one the past week though which is unusual. She usually doesn’t stick around that long before she’s on to the next guy.”

“That’s just lovely,” you said sarcastically with a scowl on your face.

“Hey, look at me a minute. Let me give you some advice,” he said gently.

You turned towards him and rested your elbows on the table, leaning in so you could hear him clearly.

“You’re really worried about that guy? Honey, this whole bar is after you. And there’s a guy on the end right over there that has had his eye on you ever since you stepped foot in here.” He pointed out a man at the end of the bar, sitting alone with a beer in his hand. He was good looking. Really good looking.

Tousled blonde hair with bright blue eyes and a jawline so sharp that it could kill. He was wearing dark faded jeans and a black button up, the top buttons undone and his tie loose. His sleeves were rolled up to expose a black intricate snake tattoo that ran up his entire arm. Whoa. Okay, this guy wasn’t just hot, he was sexy. Maybe even boyfriend material.

“Let me give you some advice. If you want to get over someone, you get under someone. And I bet if he saw you with that guy sitting at the bar, he’d be jealous as fuck. I know I would be. I don’t know what happened between you two, but he messed up. And it’s his loss. Now, why don’t you put on a pretty smile and wave him over. Make that other guy regret ever letting you go.”

You thought about his words, let them sink in as they flowed through your mind. Make him regret ever letting you go. Okay. You could do this. You could make him jealous. Easy. You already had Mr. blondie on a tight leash. All you had to do now was pull.

The bartender placed another whiskey and coke drink in front of you, replacing your broken one. You took a large gulp and placed it back on the table, getting your courage up. Let the games begin.

You smirked over to the hot blonde, batting your long eyelashes at him, coaxing him to come join you at the bar. He gave you a devilish grin and stood up from his barstool, slowly making his way over to you. When he made it over, he pulled out the barstool next to you and sat down carefully.

“Didn’t think I’d get your attention tonight,” he said with a smirk, his blue eyes piercing into you, making your stomach flutter with butterflies.

“And why’s that?” you asked with a laugh.

“Because you’re the prettiest girl in the room.”

You gulped at the compliment, turning just slightly so your knees could brush up against his, scooting the tiniest bit closer, your dress hiking up half an inch, exposing more thigh. He stared down at your legs, going over every inch with his eyes, sending chills down your spine. He really was attractive. He had that typical bad boy look, but he also looked sweet. Maybe even caring. Guess you’d have to find out.

“You’re sweet,” you said with a blush forming on your cheeks.

“I try. What’s your name?” he asked genuinely. You gave him your name, and he said it back with a lull in his voice. A sweet sound you could get used to. “I’m Alexander, but you can call me Alex for short.”

He had an accent. Definitely not from Texas. He sounded like he was maybe from another country. “You’re not from around here, are you?” you asked curiously.

“I’m from England originally, but I’ve lived in California most of my life. I just moved here a few months ago for work. Trying to start up a business here and get it going before I go back to California.”

“Wow, an English man. I always loved the English accents. They always sounded so romantic.” You placed a hand on his thigh, leaning in closer, batting your eyelashes up at him. His eyes went wide as you slid your hand just a bit higher, stopping just short of his zipper. Putting the flames to the test. He passed with flying colors.

He gently laid one of his hands against the small of your back, sinking it down just before he could graze your ass. You didn’t mind. This is what you wanted right? To get under someone and forget Joel. Make him jealous so he knew exactly how you were feeling right now.

You glanced back over to the pool table, and he was planting a kiss on her cheek, hugging her from behind as she held the cue stick in her hand, trying hard to concentrate on where to aim. You wanted to vomit, but you tore your eyes away from them and focused on the hot man that was sitting next to you.

“So, what exactly do you do for work?” you asked casually, trying not to let your anger slip out in your tone.

“I run a few tech companies. Nothing too big. Oh, but we’re partnered with Apple, so we’re kind of a big deal,” he said nonchalantly, brushing it off.

Your eyes widened as you snickered. “Apple is huge! You must be swimming in money.”

“Something like that,” he laughed back at your response.

You flirted back and forth for the next few minutes, taking in the sounds of rock and roll music flowing through the bar, finding things in common to talk about. You could see this was going well. And if it went really well then you’d be in his bed by midnight.

“So, uhh you think you want to go on a date sometime? Maybe this weekend?” he asked shyly.

“Is this not a date right now?” you asked, running your fingers lightly up his striking snake tattoo. You could feel the goosebumps start to spread over his arm. Your plan was going exactly how you wanted it to.

“I mean, I want to take you out to dinner. Maybe take you home with me also…” he said quietly, watching you closely to see your reaction.

“Oh, I think I’ll let you do both,” you said flirtatiously, leaning in closer to him, lips hanging just below his.

He didn’t stutter one bit. He sealed the distance between you and pressed his lips against yours. It was a hot, sticky kiss as he moved his hand down to your ass, opening your mouth to invite him in. His tongue connected with yours as it swirled around, tasting like vodka and whiskey mixed together. After a couple of minutes of intense making out, you broke the kiss, sitting back in your own bar stool.

As you went to turn to your drink, you saw dark eyes staring at you intensely from across the bar, right next to the pool tables. It was Joel, and he was mad. No, more than mad. He looked livid, fuming with rage. He was holding the cue stick so hard in his hands that it looked like it was about to snap in half.

You didn’t know what to feel. Remorse, jealousy, sadness, your feelings were all over the place. But you had to see this through. You wanted him to hurt just as much as he had hurt you while having to watch that slut of his fall all over him. But something like regret washed over your insides, making your stomach drop at what you just did.

Alexander leaned over and kissed you softly on the cheek, putting his hand dangerously close to the inside of your thigh, hiking your dress up even more. You squeezed your legs together, not wanting him to expose too much to anyone else.

Joel threw down the cue stick on the pool table and grabbed the blonde’s wrist, pulling her to the bar table. The same one you were at. Fuck.

He pulled out an empty seat for the girl and sat down next to her, sitting right across the table from you. His eyes were searing into yours, about to burn you alive. You tried to look down, but you could still feel his heavy gaze on you. He wouldn’t let up. He was brooding.

The room was becoming too hot. Your head was fuzzy from the warm alcohol and your cheeks were flushed. You hadn’t even had that much to drink, but the way Joel was looking at you now was making you scorch with heat. You needed a cold glass of water and now.

You waved down the bartender and asked for a water. He quickly got you a cold glass and placed it in front of you. You didn’t even say thanks, you were too preoccupied with calming the hell down. You threw your head back as you chugged the water down, hoping it’d help cool you off.

As soon as you finished the water and placed the glass back down, you realized it didn’t help at all. You were still too hot, feeling like you could crawl out of your skin at any moment. You looked back up at Joel, and he was now pushing the blonde’s hair back, exposing her neck as he placed a kiss against her collarbone. He looked straight at you the entire time he was doing it, his cold gaze burning through you. He was taunting you, showing off just what he could do with another woman.

You could feel the burning tears in the back of your eyes that were screaming to escape. You wanted so badly to break down into a puddle and cry, yell at him for ruining you, scream just how much you hated him in this moment for making you feel this way.

You couldn’t watch anymore. You had to get up and go. You couldn’t hold it together anymore. “I’m sorry, I just need a moment. I’ll be right back,” you said hurriedly to Alexander as you got up out of your seat and walked as fast as you could to the back of the building. You needed to be alone. Just for a few minutes. Until Joel got up and left the table.

You couldn’t look at him anymore. Not tonight anyways. After seeing him with that blonde, you realized just how not over him you were. You still cared way too much, even if what he just did tore you to bits. You had done the same to him though. You wanted to make him jealous, so you did. You got what you deserved. You just didn’t know it’d hurt this much.

You pushed yourself through the crowd, finding it harder to breathe. The music was too loud, the lights were too bright, there were way too many people around. You just wanted to be left alone. Before you could make it through the long, dark hallway up ahead, someone grabbed your wrist and pulled you ahead.

“Hey, stop! You can’t just…” You tried to yank your hand away until you realized just who had grabbed you. You turned to face them and realized it wasn’t just any random person. It was Joel. Oh no.

He pulled you into a large, lavish bathroom and locked the door, standing right in front of it so you couldn’t leave. Who the hell did he think he was?

“Joel, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” you hissed.

“I wanted to talk to you.” His eyebrows were furrowed together, his arms crossed over his chest as his thick arms hugged the plaid material.

“Right now? In the bathroom? No, I don’t think so. Now move so I can leave.” You tried to go around him, but he wouldn’t budge. He just stood in front of the lock, body unmoving.

You tried to push him away, but he wouldn’t move. It’s like you were trying to get through a brick wall. “Joel, I mean it. Get out of my way,” you said with more force.

“No! Not until you talk to me,” he yelled, eyes glaring at you.

You huffed and threw your arms up, backing up. “Fine, whatever. You want to talk, then let’s talk.” You crossed your arms and matched his energy, cocking your hip out to lean on.

“What the hell was that out there?” he asked angrily, his nostrils flaring.

“What was what?”

“You making out with that asshole. He was all over you, practically had his goddamn hands up your skirt,” he spit with rage.

“Oh no, you don’t get to do that. You don’t get to jump down my back when you were all over that blonde slut.”

“Oh, I was not.”

“Bull shit! I saw it with my own eyes!” you screamed, irritated with him already.

“I wasn’t touching her nearly as much as that fucker was touching you.” He was searing at you, eyes blazing fumes. He was jealous as fuck.

“You’re jealous, aren’t you?” you asked in disbelief, eyes growing wider.

“So what if I am? You’re jealous of that blonde girl I was with too. Admit it. You were only trying to make me jealous to prove a point.”

“You arrogant son of a bitch, I was not!”

“So did you come here with him tonight or was he just some cheap shot you found at the bar?”

That was it. You weren’t doing this. You had had enough. “Move,” you demanded, putting your hands into fists at your side.

“No,” he said with finality. “Not until we finish talking.”

“God, you’re so infuriating! Look, if I knew you’d be here tonight I wouldn’t have even come here. The last thing I wanted to see was you all over a dumb bitch who doesn’t even know how to hold a cue stick correctly.”

“And you think I wanted to see you making out with a selfish prick who just wanted to take you home for the night and never call you again after?”

You clenched your jaw after that comment, hands balled at your side, wanting nothing more than to slap him across the face. “Why should you even care? We’re over! I thought the breakup was mutual. Why should you care if I’m trying to move on the best I can?”

“By getting under a man you don’t even know?” His eyebrows were raised, a look of anger taking hold on his features.

You held up your hand, frustration taking its hold over you. “Don’t even say anything because I know you’ve probably already slept with your new blonde toy.”

“So what if I have?! Not like you care.”

That hit you like a ton of bricks, your heart sinking at the thought of those two in bed together. You wanted to be sick, wanted to throw up every ounce of alcohol you took in. You kept it in though, holding on to your dignity.

You walked over and shoved him against the door, taking out your growing frustration on him. Wanting to do it again and again until all the hurt left your body. “Oh, I do care. More than I’d like to admit,” you stammered out, almost losing your footing on the floor.

Joel grabbed your wrist tight, preventing you from backing up. “Let go,” you said with a tight jaw.

“First tell me why exactly you were all over that guy tonight.” He was looking down at you harshly, something shifting in his eyes the more he looked at you.

“I was just having fun. I thought he might be nice and..”

“You’re lying,” he said with a locked jaw, eyes hounding you as he didn’t let up on his grip around you.

“Fine, you win! I was flirting with him to make you jealous because I couldn’t stand to see you with little miss attention!” Your voice was raised, a faint cry getting stuck in your throat. He released you from his grip and let you take a step back.

“I knew it,” he said proudly, slicking his dark hair with grey streaks back. Watching how his fingers slid so easily through it, remembering all the times you got to do that. Wanting nothing more than to be able to run your fingers through that messy hair that you always thought was so sexy.

“Congratu-fucking-lations. Want a prize or something?” you sneered.

“Hey now, don’t be like that.”

“How do you expect me to be, Joel? I haven’t talked to you in weeks. Hell, I’ve been doing the best I can. I had a really shitty week at work, and this was just the icing on the cake! So thank you so much for that, I sincerely hope you’re happy!” you shouted as you rolled your eyes, crossing your arms again.

“No, I’m not happy,” he grimaced, tightening up his fingers one by one.

“Oh, really? Why not?”

“Because I couldn’t fucking stand watching another guy that wasn’t me be with you!”

Oh. You wanted to fall apart at how Joel was looking at you now. He was breathing hard, and you swear you saw tears start to form in his eyes. “Joel, I…”

“I’ve spent weeks trying to get over you. It didn’t matter what I did or who I went out with, none of them were you. I have nightmares all the time. Ones where you’re always wrapped up beside me in bed, and I’ll wake up and you aren’t there. Or ones where some other guy is in your bed, taunting me from across the room. It was all just a dream though. So I did what I had to do to try to forget about you, but nothing worked. So excuse me for trying to get over you with her.” He sounded defeated. A sad lullaby that wanted to be put to sleep.

He relaxed his eyes, sadness closing in on him. Oh, Joel. “That night of the fight, why didn’t you go after me?” you asked quietly, barely able to keep your head up, doing everything in you to keep hold with his eyes.

“I didn’t know you wanted me to…” he said quietly, eyes looking down at the ground as he shoved one of his hands in his pocket, the other one hanging loosely to his side.

“I did. And you never came after me. You didn’t call. I was waiting for you to, but you never did,” you said with a shaky breath, holding back tears.

“I thought you never wanted to speak to me again,” he said with sad eyes, his eyes turning a warm honey color. You wanted to melt into those eyes. Wanted to bleed into them until you couldn’t see anymore.

“No, that’s not true…I…I don’t even remember what we were fighting about now. It was stupid, dumb, whatever it was. And look where it led us. To this exact spot. Making each other crazy with jealousy. All for what? To hurt each other? To get back at one another? Because that’s not what I wanted. That’s never what I wanted,” you said as you brushed a stray tear away, blinking away anymore that were about to fall.

“Hey, it’s okay…” He reached out a hand and wiped another tear away, lingering his fingers on your cheek. You closed your eyes and took in his gentle touch, remembering every single touch he ever gave you.

You took a step back, away from his reach. The warmth from his touch turned into a cold, vacant feeling. Wanting nothing more than to seep back into his warmth. He took a step forward, but you took one more back. “You never gave me the chance to get over you…” you whispered quietly, your voice coming out hoarse.

“Oh, baby. I’m so sorry…” He looked so sincere, sadness dripping off all his features. There was no more anger left. It was only replaced with longing and apologies.

He walked towards you, and you let him this time. He stopped in front of you, pulling back a lock of hair behind your ear. You leaned into his touch, wanting to sink into it.

“I never stopped loving you,” he whispered gently against your ear. And there it was. That one word that you had been waiting to hear again. A hushed lull that could hum you to sleep.

“You…you still love me?” you asked in a daze, confused.

“That’s right. I still love you.”

“Then why didn’t you fucking fight for me? I was waiting for you to chase me out that door, come stop me and tell me not to go. But you didn’t! I was waiting, Joel. I was waiting and you never came for me!” You were broken. Tears spilled downing your face as your vision got blurry.

Joel didn’t waste a second as he pulled you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you so tightly that you couldn’t break free. You just cried into his chest as he held you, trying to soothe you as he took a hand and gently slid it up and down your back. Taking away all your pain.

“I love you…” you whispered quietly, enough for him to hear.

“I know, baby. I know. I should’ve never let you go…” With that he kissed the top of your head and held you tighter, not wanting to break apart from you.

You felt a sense of relief. You were back in Joel’s arms. Back to where you really wanted to be. You didn’t want Alexander. You wanted Joel. He was home, and he always would be. You don’t think you could ever stop loving him. Because what the two of you had was something you never felt before. It was beautiful and was something that shouldn’t be broken.

You stayed in his embrace till all your tears dried up, slowly backing up to look up into his beautiful face. His eyes were the color of hazelnut coffee, and he had the most apologetic look on his face.

“Let me make it up to you. I want to show you just how sorry I am,” he said gently, catching the edge of your wrist.

“And how are you going to do that?” you asked, questioning him.

“By showing you exactly how I feel about you…”

Before you could say anything, he crashed his lips against yours. It wasn’t just any kind of a kiss. It was a desperate, starving kiss as he pulled you closer, pressing you up against the wall. You sank into his velvet lips, chasing his whiskey taste you so desperately loved. You opened your mouth, and his tongue shot in, chasing yours as it engulfed you. He tasted so sweet, his whiskey and spice flavor enveloping your throat.

He bit your bottom lip and slowly released it, quickly finding your neck as he sunk his mouth down on the most sensitive spot that rested above your collarbone. You choked out a moan as he grazed his teeth along your neckline, sending a pool of slick against your now drenched panties.

He lifted you up and wrapped your legs around his waist, running a hand against the inside of your thigh, dangerously close to your throbbing center. He dropped down again to your neck, sucking so hard that he’d surely leave a mark. You ran a hand up through his tousled hair, and he groaned as you dug your nails into his scalp.

He brought his face up to your level and rested his forehead against yours, still slowly slithering his fingers up and down your thigh, making you squirm with anticipation. “Gonna make you feel so good, baby. Gonna show them just who you belong to.”

“Tell me who I belong to,” you gasped out.

“Me,” he growled. He slammed his mouth into yours again and brought his hand higher on your thigh, digging into the sides of your scrunched up panties. He lifted your dress above your hips, exposing your drenched center. You bit down on his lip as he teased you, running his fingers lightly over your pulsing core, sending more slick running down.

“Jesus, baby. You’re already so fucking wet for me.”

“Mhmm,” you moaned out as he slipped a hand inside the wet material, sliding through your folds and circling your clit firmly. You felt hot pulsing desire run through your core as he made you wetter from the touch of his calloused fingers.

“Joel…” you moaned out as he placed more pressure on your throbbing clit, wanting more, needing more.

“What’s that, darlin’?” he smirked, a devilish grin ghosting over his lips.

“I need more,” you begged, moving your hips up so you could grind against his sticky fingers.

“More what?” he asked with an edge to his voice, his dark eyes honing into yours.

“I need more of…more…” He slowly pushed two fingers inside you, pressing his palm against your aching clit. “Fuck!” you breathed out, your voice shaky from the friction.

“That’s what I thought.” He smirked as he fell to his knees and pulled down your panties, placing them inside the pocket of his jeans.

“I missed you, baby. Missed your long legs.” He ran a hand up your thigh, sending shivers down your spine. “Missed your smell.” He grabbed one of your legs and put it over his shoulder, running his tongue up your inner thigh and stopping right before he got to your pulsing center.

“Missed your taste…” He took his tongue and ran it all the way up the center of your folds, covering his tongue in your slick. You moaned out in response, and he took it as a reward. “That’s my girl. Now hold on tight. Gonna give you just what you deserve.”

With that he lapped up more slick, quickly finding your clit as he circled and circled you, making your head dizzy from the building heat. He was sucking and pulling your throbbing clit into his mouth, making your legs shake against him.

He slid two fingers inside you and pumped in and out, flicking your clit back and forth with his tongue. You grabbed a hold of his hair hard and pulled his head up higher. His eyes were staring into yours intensely. His coffee colored eyes were now full blown black pits as he was devouring you. It was the hottest most intimate thing you ever saw, making more slick appear between your legs.

“Joel…I’m close…I’m…” you groaned out, bucking your hips higher, needing more of him.

“Want you to come for me, baby. Want you to spill all over my mouth. Want to taste just how sweet you are…” He was pumping his fingers faster inside you, putting more pressure on your clit with his tongue as he ran it up and down, nice and slow.

You were squeezing your leg around him, pulling him closer to you as you could barely take anymore. The pressure was building and building inside your core. So much that you were about to release it all, let it spill all over Joel’s tongue.

“Come for me,” he commanded. He pulled your clit inside his mouth and sucked hard, breaking that seal that was holding in all your pressure. And you were done for. You released your orgasm as a low moan escaped your mouth, coating your inner thighs with hot stickiness.

“That’s my good girl,” he praised as he lapped up all the slick from your throbbing center and thighs, leaving no trace left behind. He placed your leg back on the ground gently and stood up from his knees, placing his hands around your waist to balance you from your intense orgasm.

You took a few seconds to uncloud your mind, come back down from the wave of bliss you’d just been on. You needed more. Wanted more. And you knew what you wanted to do next. You wanted to taste him.

You slowly lowered your hands to his belt, undoing the buckle and feeling his growing bulge through his jeans. He groaned as you traced your hand against his length, wanted so bad to make him feel just as good as he had made you feel.

“I think it’s my turn to taste you now. I want you to remember just how good I can make you feel.” You lowered yourself slowly to the ground, unzipping his pants and shoving them down to his ankles along with his black briefs.

You stared up at the growing erection that was planted firmly against his stomach, precum glistening on his tip. You wrapped your hand around his massive width and slid up and down his long length, squeezing just the slightest. He groaned in response as he stared down at you with dilated pupils. “I want you to know who blows you the best. Not that blonde girl. ME,” you said possessively.

“Fucking feral, darlin’. I love it. Now, show me just how good you can take this cock,” he said greedily.

You smirked up at him as you licked his tip, circling all his sensitive areas. “Fuckkk,” he moaned as you yanked up and down his shaft, licking precum off his tip. You slowly took him in your mouth, taking him in as far as you could go, gagging on his large length. He was big, but you knew just how to take him. Knew exactly how to make him feel good. It was like clockwork, you knew him that well.

You continued sliding your mouth over him, tasting the saltiness coat your tongue. A flavor you revelled in. He grabbed the back of your hair and pulled you forward, driving deeper into your throat until he was touching the very back, gagging and choking on him. A sound you loved hearing because you were driving him wild, sending him over the edge with your throat.

Tears stung your eyes as they ran down your face, drool pooling down your chin as he slammed back into you, mouth fucking you aggressively. “Good girl. That’s a good fucking girl,” he groaned with force in his words, enjoying every second of your mouth on him. Your hands your planted firmly on the back of his thighs, holding on for dear life as you choked on him. The taste of him was intoxicating, something you could get drunk on.

A few more thrusts to your mouth and he was releasing you and pulling your chin up to look at him, taking that long breath that you needed. He wiped the tears from your eyes and cleaned off the drool that was coating the edges of your mouth.

“Look at you, you’re a mess,” he said as he clicked his tongue with a smirk on his face, wiping once more under your eyes.

“I’m a mess for you,” you answered quietly, staring up into honey eyes that were turning darker by the second.

“That’s right. My mess,” he said aggressively. “Now c’mere, I’m not done with you yet.”

He pulled you up from the floor and took you over to the counter, placing your hands on the edge of the sink as he bent you over, facing directly in front of the mirror. He placed his hands over your fingers and put a leg in between yours, pushing your thighs further apart with his foot. You gulped as he kept his foot there, unable to move your legs at all. It was seductive, intimate, and hot as hell.

He leaned over your shoulder and put his mouth right next to your ear, grazing his lips against the sensitive skin. You whimpered when you saw just how he was looking at you in the mirror. The look of lust, desire, pure want, and need in his eyes. You didn’t think you’d ever seen him look so hungry for you. A hunger he’d go feral for until he ate up every single inch of you. Slick pooled at your center at the mere thought of it. Fuck.

He took his tongue and ran it up your neck slowly, stopping every couple of inches to kiss and caress your skin that was aching for his touch. You angled your neck towards him, wanting more. Needing that hunger as much as he did.

“Gonna fuck you now, baby. Gonna show you just who you belong to.” He grabbed your hair and pulled your head up higher so your eyes were staring into the mirror. “Eyes on me. I want you to watch. I want you to moan my name, I want the entire bar to know you’re mine,” he growled. It was possessive, jealous, dominant. And it was erotic as hell.

He slid the tip of his cock over your folds, collecting the slick and making himself thoroughly wet. You whimpered as he slid into you slowly, driving another moan out of you as your walls squeezed around his thick width.

“That’s right, baby. Takin’ me so good. Takin’ me like the good fucking girl you are,” he growled. He slid one hand in front of you and pulled down your dress, exposing your hard, pebbled breasts as he grabbed at them, thumbs digging into you. He then sunk his mouth down on your shoulder and bit. Teeth bared like he was a vampire coming in for the kill. Marking his territory. Claiming you. Making you feel like you were on cloud nine as he rammed into you over and over again. Feeding your aching core, increasing your hot wave of desire that was building inside you.

He was staring seductively at you in the mirror, black pits bleeding into your eyes, making you lose control of how insanely hot you were in the room. The smell of sex was everywhere. Mahogany, whiskey, and dripping bodies filled the air, making you light headed and dizzy.

“Joel…” you moaned as he circled your clit, hearing the wet, sticky sounds of his cock sliding in and out of you, corrupting all form of coherent thoughts you were having.

“Atta girl. Say it again. I wanna hear it. Say that you’re mine. Look at me with that pretty face and repeat it back to me.”

He pressed harder on your clit and pulled your hair tighter, making you gasp at how dominant he was being. Making you want to come undone just by the deep growl in his voice.

You moaned as it was all too much. You were about to shatter yourself all over him. “Joel…I’m yours.”

“Repeat it!” he growled into your ear, staring ravenously back at you in the mirror, his hand digging into your hip.

“I’m yours, I’m all yours!” you screamed out, fighting everything in your body to just hold on a few seconds more.

“That’s my good girl. Now come for me.” He sped up his circles on your throbbing mound and pressed down hard, drawing a line down your entire clit. That did it. You were rolling your eyes back and coming hard for him. You clenched up around him and released yourself on him, coating his cock in wet sticky slick.

“Goddamn, baby. Feels…so…good,” he moaned as he pushed up into you a couple more times, then he was making that sexy orgasmic face as his eyebrows furrowed together and pushed your hips into the counter. He was spilling his seed inside you, saturating your walls and calling your name. Your name sounded like a melodic lull against his deep voice. Entrancing in itself.

He stayed like that for a few more seconds then slowly slid out of you, letting his seed slip down your thighs, coating it all in white. It was warm, messy, and it was him claiming you, all of you.

He turned you around to face him, gently placing one hand around your hip and the other brushing stray locks of hair behind your ear. He slowly leaned down and kissed the top of your head, caressing your cheek with a feather-like touch. It was so gentle that you wanted to fall into him, stay in his arms where it was warm and safe. Where you felt most at home.

He lifted your chin and traced your face with his thumb softly, looking at you like you were a diamond in the rough. It made your insides tingle, a wave of admiration and longing hitting you hard as he stared at you with those warm honey eyes that made you melt.

“I missed you so much…” he whispered as he ghosted his lips over yours. Making you drink in his whiskey breath and mahogany cologne. Your two favorite scents because that was his trademark. Your choice of ecstasy.

“Not as much as I missed you.” You took your hand and ran it through his salt and pepper beard slowly. He seemed to like it cause he groaned and leaned into your touch, looking at you with endearment and tenderness.

A faint smile spread on his lips at your statement. “Alright, let’s get you cleaned up before we go back out there,” he laughed as he adjusted your dress and helped you clean off the sticky mess in between your thighs. He pulled up his jeans and tucked in his shirt, fixing his tousled hair.

You quickly ran a hand through your hair, trying to tame the messy sex hair the best you could. You tried to reach into his pocket for your panties, but he grabbed your wrist and stopped you fast, clicking his tongue at you. “Oh no, you’re not getting these back right now. They’re stayin’ with me,” he smirked with darkening eyes.

“I can’t go back out there with nothing under my dress. What if people see?” you pouted with wide eyes, not wanting to leave the bathroom till you had something on.

“They’re not gonna see cause we’re leaving, now,” he said adamantly, sliding his hand down from your wrist to your hand, entangling his fingers with yours. It felt so good, so warm, so right.

“But what about your date?” you asked hesitantly, lowering your voice.

“Look at me,” he said firmly, grabbing your chin. “I don’t give a fuck about her. We’re leaving, now. You and me. Not her.”

“Where are we going?” you asked with questions in your eyes as he dropped his hand from your chin.

“We’re going home.”

“Home? Are you taking me back home to my place?”

“No, baby. You’re going home with me,” he said gently.

Oh. “You’re taking me back to your place…?” Your voice carried off into the distance, not believing what you just heard.

“Yes, where else would I be taking you?”

“I don’t know. I thought…”

“You’re going home with me, period. I’m not letting you go again. So c’mon, let’s go.”

“Okay.”

As you walked out of the bathroom, a gentle smile spread across your lips. You had done it. You got him back. He still wanted you just as much as you wanted him. It was almost surreal. You thought for sure you would’ve ended the night at Alexander’s house, but you’re glad that wasn’t the case because you would’ve just been sulking over Joel the entire time.

He pulled you through the crowded bar, making space for you to pass as he kept a hold on your hand, pulling you into his chest as he grazed his hand over your hip and pushed you forward. Making sure no one else was able to touch you.

As you passed the bar, you saw Brianna staring wide eyed with an open mouth at the two of you. She looked pissed and she tried calling Joel’s name, but he didn’t even turn his head. He didn’t care about her. He was back with you now. Every ounce of jealousy that you had toward her was gone because he was yours. She didn’t get to have him anymore. You smirked at her, letting her know you had won.

A few more steps and you were passing Alexander. Joel glared daggers at him as you passed him by. He was letting him know that you were his, and he didn’t appreciate when he had been touching you. You mouthed sorry, and all he did was shake his head and take a stiff drink from his cup, looking anywhere but at you. You didn’t care anymore. He was just a placeholder, a vacant spot until you got what you wanted. Joel.

Joel walked you to his white Chevy and opened the door for you, helping you in so you wouldn’t trip over your tall heels. As soon as you got in, he closed the door and went over to the driver side and got in, starting up the hum of the truck as the engine came to life.

You remembered it just like it was yesterday. His soft velvety seats, the smell of cigarettes and wood filling the inside, his favorite bands playing softly against the stereo. He turned up Pearl Jam, and it was just as you remembered. This was what peace felt like. You were content, finally.

As he started driving, he threw an arm over the back of the seat, coaxing you to join him. He looked over at you with those calm brown eyes and nodded his head, wanting you to scoot over by him.

You smiled shyly and slid over to sit beside him, leaning over and resting your head on his shoulder as he placed his arm around you, grazing against your arm with his calloused fingers.

This was what home felt like. He was home. And that’s where you were going. Back to his house, with him. And this time you wouldn’t run out, you wouldn’t let him go. You’d stay forever. Right in his arms. Right where you felt most at home. His. As much as he was yours. Two pieces that fit together perfectly, and that’s where you’d stay. Until the end of time.

[riboism]

ungodly hour

pairing: j.yh x (f) reader content: pool sex, established relationship, valentine’s day, public sex, manhandling, dirty talk wc: 900

a/n: I think about that yunho dubai poolside pic maybe 2-3 times a day

“Yunho.”

He only hummed into your lips, having no intention of breaking away from the kiss just yet, no matter how much you whined. It was Valentine’s Day weekend, and Yunho surprised you with a trip to a couple’s retreat in the city. The hotel you were staying at has a pool, and your boyfriend begged you at the odd hour of midnight to come down and join him for a swim.

It was innocent at first, until a game of tag led you to be pushed up against the edge of the pool while Yunho locked his lips with you from above and teased you with his bulge below the water. He had been rubbing fronts with you for a while now, and you could feel him growing as he did. You finally managed to break away from the kiss, gasping for air as you tried to warn your very excited boyfriend.

“Someone can walk in and see us!”

He clicked his tongue and pulled you closer to him by your waist. “Trust me, no one’s going to come in this late. Come on, it’ll be fun. Didn’t you say you wanted to spice things up a bit?” He winked.

Being busy and working adults, sex with Yunho had become pretty mundane and predictable, even with all the manhandling. You suggested spicing things up and trying new things this weekend, but public sex wasn’t necessarily on your list. “I don’t know…”

Yunho’s lips trailed down to your chin before he made it to the sweet spot between your neck and shoulder. His fingers toyed with your swim top’s strap, slowly pulling it down from your shoulder. “Please baby. Need you right now.” He mumbled into your skin. He was rock hard now, mindlessly rutting his thick bulge over your clothed clit. He was so far gone that it would require a lot of work to get him off you, but if you were being honest with yourself, you didn’t want to stop just yet. Feeling his cock tease you like this only made you want him more, and you weren’t sure if you’d be able to wait until you made it back to your rooms to continue.

Reaching down into the water, you undid the knot on his swimming trunks while Yunho looked down at you with a boyish grin. He loved the pained look on your face and was completely smitten over the fact that you wanted him as badly as he wanted you right now. Trying to pull his trunks down was more difficult under water, and you looked at him with desperate and pleading eyes when he didn’t bother helping you out. “Yunho,” you cried in frustration “hurry.”

With haste, Yunho pulled his trunks down just enough to release himself. He lifted you up from the back of your thighs and you immediately locked your legs around his waist. He pulled your panties to the side and began lining his leaky tip up with your entrance, forcing a small gasp out of your lips when you felt him rubbing against your achy core. “Fuck, gonna take me right here right now, baby?” He teased.

The stretch is usually a little painful because of Yunho’s size, but the pool water helped ease you onto him better. It was too slippery for you to move, so you wrapped your arms over his neck and held on the best you could while he grabbed onto your waist and moved you up and down his length to his own pace. Sometimes, you let him choose the pace, allowing him to use your body at his will. Afterwards, he’d kiss the bruises he left from his tight grasp on your waist.

It was hard to keep quiet with the way Yunho dragged you over his cock, his hard tip reaching so deep inside you. If anyone was around, they’d definitely know what you two were up to. Yunho adored how vocal you can get, but he also didn’t want to get kicked out of the hotel in the middle of the night.

“Gotta do something about those pretty little moans baby.” He said, before dismantling you from him. His hands took authority over you, guiding you to turn around so you were sandwiched between him and the edge of the pool, your back pressed against his chest. You knew what he wanted to do next, but you let him pull your hips closer to him before he rammed into you from behind. Yunho caught your moans with his palm, his long fingers squeezing your cheeks as he did so. “Have to stay quiet, baby. Fuck, you feel so good.” He whispered into your ear. “Tiny little pussy taking my cock like this…gonna take all my cum too?”

You let out a muffled yes into his hand, earning you a chuckle from Yunho. “That’s my girl.”

The sound of your skin slapping together got more and more delayed, a sign that he was close. You dipped your hand under the water to work your way up to your own high, but Yunho already beat you to it. His fingers glided over your clit perfectly, giving you the perfect amount of pressure before you two finally reached your peaks.

Your walls clenched around him, squeezing out every last drop of his essence. His head fell into the crook of your neck, and you kissed his head softly as he calmed down.

“We have to do this again.” He panted.

You giggled at his enthusiasm. “Absolutely not.”

🎧 ungodly hour- chloë x halle

[forteafy]

Always | CL16

Summary: Neither you or Charles wanted to break up, not truly. Life hasn't been the same since, no matter how much work or fun you both tried. Will Charles drop everything on the one day you need him? Part of the 'Vices and Virtues' collection.

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, stress, Charles Leclerc is written by women

Exhausted did not begin to describe the feeling seeping into your bones.

Silently, you fumble for the key in your back pocket; you’d strategically placed it there before leaving the restaurant, knowing by the time you’d be back, you’d be in no mood to root around your bag for it. The key rattles for a moment, the ornate door opening into your apartment, dipped in the orange glow of a Monaco sunset. 

You’d been in this new place for a little under seven months; at first you couldn’t bring yourself to even sleep in your new bed, knowing all too well that his body wouldn’t be beside you. No warm arms to circle you when tumbling in from an event, no hot breath to tickle the back of your neck when you awoke each morning. It had taken a lot of willpower (that, and your best friend buying you bedsheets so comfortable, you had to use them.) 

It had taken that time, but your life was finally beginning to feel like yours again. You decorated your apartment with plants and photographs of friends. The days were spent inviting over your loved ones to try food for the menu you’d thrown yourself into developing. Evenings were spent pairing wines to desserts and watching the sunset dip over the city you never wanted to leave. On the rare weekend off, when the city was placed into darkness, clubs and bar evenings beckoned your friendship group. 

Not you, not anymore. 

The vision of one evening was still painted in your mind. Five days. Five days after the breakup. The idea of going out had repulsed you, wanting nothing more than to curl up on your parent’s couch and wallow in self-pity around the belongings you had taken there and then. Unfortunately, she had other ideas, demanding you get dressed up and come out for an evening of drinks, to kiss a stranger or to at least take so many tequila shots you’d wake up with one in the morning. 

The epitome of ‘wet blanket,’ thoroughly described you that evening. No conversation had drawn you in, simply starting down into your untouched drink, waiting for one of your friends to be so wasted, you could offer to drive them home and escape this evening, no questions asked. When that had happened, a friend’s arm slung around your shoulder as you tried to lead her away from the pulsing music and fumbling hands on the dancefloor. You were almost at the exit, when your peripheral vision caught sight of a crisp shirt on a man, identical to the one you had bought your boyfriend- ex-boyfriend, less than two weeks ago. 

Ironic, because it was your ex-boyfriend sitting there. No, lounging back in a seat, a girl with the exact same hair colour as yours under his arm, her lipstick clearly smudged, the tint on his lips an identical colour. You didn’t think he would be sober enough to clock you, instead diverting straight for the exit, resting your friend in the back of your car as she sung to every song on the radio which seemed to remind you of him. 

You’d sworn off all partying after that evening, instead throwing yourself into work. Being the head chef at Monaco’s prime bay restaurant played handsomely, but their work demanded the highest calabar. If you weren’t at work, you’d be at home, cooking, researching; Sunday afternoon trips into the market in search of new flavours and seasonings seemed to be the closest you got to relaxation. 

 After the day you had, your bed was practically singing to you. There had been no end of deliveries, one group particularly enraged that their food had taken longer than expected to arrive. With no manager in that afternoon, you had to step out of your domain, apologising for your appearance and giving the table an apology dish, cooked by yourself. It must have paid off, seeing their smiling faces and ‘thank you’s,’ as you’d left the place yourself, finishing at a reasonable time for once in your life. 

The extra time you were not usually blessed with had given you the opportunity to look after yourself; scrubbing your face clean of the day, applying moisturisers and serums, a hair mask massaged into your hair. On instinct, you’d reached for a flannel to wipe your face dry, completely forgetting you’d thrown it into the washing basket earlier that day. Sleepily, your feet dragged you towards the cupboard, just in need of a new face cloth for that evening. 

You didn’t expect a lump to form in your throat. With a small gasp, you see the shirt crumpled at the bottom of your neatly stored cupboard. It’s red – that shade of red. A number sixteen was engraved across the back, his name spelt out across the shoulders. That goddamn shirt. You can still remember the day he had given it to you; you’d been sat up in bed, watching with teary eyes as he packed his suitcase, ready to jet away for race weekend. However, this was the one you couldn’t join. An important critic was coming into the restaurant, his review would make or break the kitchen in Monaco. 

Instead of tears and pleads not to depart, he’d carefully slipped his red shirt over your torso, the scent of him instantly wafting around your senses. You’d worn that shirt for practice, for qualifying, even under your chef darks that weekend. In your mind, that was what got you the stellar review, and him the first-place position he’d been working hard for. The moment he got home, your lips were on his and celebrations were held. 

Now? The shirt served as a memory, a painful one at that. Despite moving on, despite this sanctuary that you had built for yourself, he was still missing. Part of you didn’t think you’d be able to get over that. Not when every few nights, you’d come back to this cupboard, retrieve the shirt and pull the fabric to your chest under your duvet, almost like a dirty secret. Tonight, was no different; you kept the shirt close to you when trailing back to bed, tucking yourself into the soft cupboards, letting sleep overtake you in a matter of moments, the day draining you and the warm scent of him clasped to your body. 

Charles had always been a light sleeper; he’d found it especially hard since the presence of you in his bed had disappeared. He was a man of habit, he liked his pillow, the feeling of his favourite joggers wrapped around his legs. He craved your scent when he slept, whether it was feeling your body next to him, the hoodie he had snuck into his travelling case, smothered in your perfume. Nobody else he knew wore that same perfume; it was like a drug to him. 

He’d tried everything in the past seven months; no dating, rebounds, nobody could come close to you. That was why he laid in a stranger’s bed, eyes wide open and blinking up at the ceiling. The girl – Christ, he couldn’t even remember her name, was sound asleep, her head resting on Charles’ chest; something he usually despised. You’d never done that; you knew it kept him awake. Instead, you’d let him curl into you, hide your head in his neck, even go as far as to rest his head on your chest, running your nails through his soft hair. 

He wanted you. God, he needed you. Even if it was merely being in the same room, sitting opposite him on a couch. Charles had never gotten over the split; his background of the two of you resting on the nose of his car said that all too well.

His deep thoughts were pulled aside when he heard a slight buzzing coming from the floor. The buzzing continued for a few moments, signalling a telephone call; who on earth would be calling? He had no sense of time currently and tried his hardest to relax as the buzzing came to a stop. And then…it started again. Constantly. 

Huffing gently, Charles removed himself from the figure, making sure to rest her head gently on one of the pillows. His body ached, he’d rested in such an awkward position, not able to get comfortable. Crouching, his hand fumbled to find his phone in his trouser pocket, the screen giving a dull glow, phone still vibrating. It must have been Arthur; maybe had one-too many drinks and needed a lift home. Pierre, possibly? With the time difference the two were currently in, he could have forgotten.

The last thing he expected to see was your caller ID, flashing on his screen. What on earth was happening right now? You hadn’t called, not since…since you had asked to come and pick up some belongings remaining at his home. He’d cried after you’d left that day, seeing the pieces of the life you’d built together disappearing around him. Then and there, he should have clung to you, begged you to stay, confessed the way he felt like there was no tomorrow.

Nothing in this world or the next could have stopped him from pressing the green button, holding the phone up to his ear, stepping out of the stranger’s bedroom and into their living room, still dipped in darkness.

“Hey.” Is the first word out of his mouth, voice still coated with exhaustion. “Are you okay?”

“Charles?” Your voice catches on itself; it’s been so long since you’ve heard his voice. The sweet accent sprinkled upon his English, taking you back to a time when he would mumble sweet nothings whilst you curled up together. “Oh my god, Charles- “

“Hey, hey. What’s happening?” His voice is already a comfort. The one comfort that you needed right now. 

“Eloise- the manager-“ Your words keep cutting off in your throat, a visible shiver running down your spine. “She’s walked out. They want me to go in and run the breakfast cooperate event- I can’t, I’m in the kitchen-“ You can feel your chest tighten, palms sweaty at the idea. “I need to do kitchen prep; nobody is answering their phones- “

How could you be surprised? It was almost four in the morning. 

“Okay.” Charles’ voice is firm, instantly stopping your ramblings. “Here’s what we’re going to do. Go and get everything you need. I’ll pick you up in 20 minutes. We can go in together; I’ll help you until your team arrive.”

The thoughts finally catch up with you – your ex-boyfriend, was up at four in the morning, ready to get up and go, probably sacrifice a night of sleep, probably an evening with a woman he was getting to know, for the sake of you. How on earth was this happening?

“Thank you.” Your voice was barely a whisper, laced with tears as you hold the mobile to your ear, eyes darting around the room in search of your work bag. You barely hear his response before Charles hangs up the phone, wiggling into his t-shirt, searching for his car keys. 

“Always.”

The sun was beginning to peak into the streets of Monaco; time had passed since the initial phone call between Charles and yourself. In nineteen minutes, he had gotten out of the apartment of the woman, slipped into his car, the drive to your new apartment almost memorised. It wasn’t disturbing; he drove past them to get to his own home. Every time he did, his heart longed to run to your front door and take you with him. 

Silently, he sends you a text to confirm he’s outside. You’re quick to respond, locking up your apartment. His eyes transfix on your body making its way towards his car; work bag resting on one shoulder, a slick black dress on a hanger resting on the other. You look so small, so tired, but undoubtedly beautiful. Charles wants nothing more than to scoop you up in his arms. 

A tumble of apologies falls through your lips as you climb into the passenger seat, placing your bag and dress onto the car floor. This time, Charles can’t help himself, leaning over the console awkwardly and wrapping his arms around you. Instantly, you…relax. It takes everything in your power not to melt into his touch, to proclaim your love to him once again. Instead, you feel his lips press to your cheek, before stretching back, nodding towards the seatbelt on your left-hand side. 

“Strap in.” He presses. “Let’s go.”

Part of you knew that this would always happen. Eloise never liked the transfer to Monaco, her heart wasn’t truly into the place, not like yours was. Nobody was as committed as you; that was said all too well as you unlocked the door to the kitchen, Charles closes behind you. On instinct, your hands find the lightswitch and power buttons, kitchen springing to life. 

The Monegasque can’t help but be in awe of the kitchen, sparkly floors, industrial cookers, giant fridges. He’d eaten here so many times before, from lunch dates with his friends and family to breakfast whilst he is waiting for you to finish your morning shift. He’d always sit by the window when alone; the views of Monaco were beautiful, and he could sometimes catch a glimpse of you running outside to the herb garden. 

“Okay.” You start, walking towards the fridge. You’d silently thanked yourself for preparation you had done last night; staying for a little longer to prepare whilst the rest of your team ran their dinner service had paid off. Charles followed your pace, standing next to the fridge you had opened, eyes being met with neat labels and containers. 

“We don’t need to start cooking yet. But when we do, this is where everything will be. Eggs, salmon, pancake batter…it’s all labelled.” You explain, the man nodding in confirmation. Your fingers slide out a large container of fruit, placing it down on a counter directly across from the fridge. He also notices a neat list tacked to the side of the fridge, your neat writing labelling that it was the opening list you had left yourself of remaining preparation. 

“What I do need, is this fruit cut up. Can you…” You trail off, motioning towards the fruit. 

“Of course, I can. Let me wash my hands and you go and get your things ready. You’ll come back to the most beautiful fruit.” He grins. You give him a quick nod before making your way to the kitchen door, the steps to the office around the corner. 

“If you want a snack or a drink- there’s a coffee machine at the back, just make sure that you press the green button first.”

“I’ve got it.” Charles responds, his hands under the sink, currently being doused in warm water. 

“Make sure that you’re using the right knife, hand away from the blade- “

“I guessed that much.”

“-And keep the-“

“Belle. Go and get ready.” The pet-name from so long ago escapes his lips without realising, but the faint tint on your cheeks means that you’ve noticed. Silently, you nod, leaving the kitchen with your bag and dress, your heart thundering like anything as the name rings in your ears. 

It opens a metaphorical can of worms for yourself; did Charles still feel some way for him to call you that? It couldn’t have been, surely. It had been too long. You were aware of his string of lovers through the past months, twitter and gossip columns littered with photos of Charles in clubs, girls falling for him at each step he took in those stupidly expensive shoes. 

And yet…you thought, brushing your hair into soft curls, opening your makeup compact to see how your appearance was fairing, he had come running the moment you had called. So many outcomes could have happened; ignoring your call, blocking you all together, answering the phone and telling you to delete his number. No. His voice had been soft, promising that he would be there to help you out. 

Belle. It wasn’t just a simple nickname. It had come out of an evening of babysitting Penelope whilst Max and Kelly took an evening to themselves. You had sat in the comfort of Charles’ sofa, the child curled up on your lap, eyes transfixed on Beauty and the Beast, playing on the television whilst the driver had started making his favourite girls some dinner. It hadn’t taken long for Penelope to notice that the yellow sundress you had worn was identical to the princess on screen, or at least, in her eyes. 

“Charlie!” She had pointed at the screen, before pointing back at you, grinning. “She’s just like Belle!”

“Hmm?” Charles looked up from the cutting board of vegetables, trying somehow to disguise the food from the child. He finally connects the dots, seeing the reference the girl had made. He can’t help the soft smile on his face, seeing his then-girlfriend smooth out the yellow dress. “She is, isn’t she?” He grinned, taking one of the flowers from the bouquet Max had bought for Kelly and then forgotten when dropping off Penelope. “She’s my Belle.” 

The nickname had stuck ever since then. His beauty. Every time you wore that dress, he had gone out of his way to present you with roses, a clear reference to the rose from the movie. Even as you had left his apartment on that fateful day, he had murmured the name to you as you’d left, a silent promise to himself that you would always be his belle. 

Even today, he had said it. You replayed the moment you’d left the kitchen in your mind, slipping into the dress that you had bought in. You huffed for a moment, trying to zip up the back of the dress, eventually finding an awkward angle, not even wanting to question how you’d get the garment off later. 

With a final look in the mirror, you nodded to your reflection, coming out of the office, the sales system and network set up for the day. You’d taken a handful of breakfast menus with you too; two servers and a bartender would be in momentarily, you’d left a message on the group page to inform them you would be running the morning, with a promise of celebration drinks that evening if everything ran smoothly. 

As you made your way down the stairs, heels clicking on the ornate flooring which connected each room, you could hear…music? Your questions were answered as you opened the door to the kitchen, eyes widening.

Fruit was cut up, cold cuts had been presented, bread samples ready for the customers, every single piece of preparation on that list you had created was complete. And in the centre of it all, Charles hummed along to the music playing from his phone, carefully slicing up some mixed berries for the smoothie packets. His eyes darted up when hearing the door open, lips parted slightly at seeing you look so…professional. You could leave anybody weak with that smile, the dress. 

“Look at you!” He cheers, letting his eyes drink you in. He steps away from the fruit, wiping his hands onto his jogging bottoms, before taking your hand in his. “You’re going to knock them dead.” He presses, lifting your hand to his lips, kissing your knuckles before he can even realise. His eyes suddenly widen upon realisation, but when you don’t step away and instead just smile, he can’t help but calm a little. He never knows what would happen next, because the door to the reception area opens, the two servers and kitchen assistants filing into the restaurant, ready for their day. 

Charles drives you home after the cooperate clients have finished, singing nothing but praise and their thanks for a delicious breakfast. The restaurant had closed in order to prepare for their dinner service. The first thing you had done was run into the kitchen, pulling the entire team, Charles included into the tightest hug, thanking them all for the support you had given one another. No bad words could ever be said about you, of course the team wanted to help. They were all adamant in that moment that you and Charles must have been back together, dubbing him the ‘boyfriend of the century.’ 

Neither of you said nothing, instead just exchanging glances. 

The drive home was peaceful, sleep beginning to overtake your body. If it wasn’t for the dress, you would have fallen asleep there and then. Instead, Charles pulls up outside of your home, eyes staring over to you, a silent signal that you had arrived back. 

“Would you-“ Your lips are forming the words before you can stop yourself. “Did you want to come up for a drink? As a thank you.” You press. In your heart-of-hearts, you’re not ready to say goodbye to Charles. Not again. 

“Yes.” He responds almost too quickly, pulling his car into a parking space, engine shutting off and keys being removed from the vehicle. The driver follows you up the stairs to the comfort of your complex. He had never been to your new apartment. As the heavy door opens, he can feel his breath catch, a lump in his throat upon seeing all the belongings of yours, scattered around your new home. 

“So, this is it.” You explain, slipping off the heels by the front door, making a mental note to put them away later. “What kind of drink would you like? Something strong? Warm?” You attempt to wiggle your arms in an unruly matter to remove the garment. Charles sees you struggling, wordlessly taking the zip in his delicate fingers, zipping down the dress as he had done on so many previous nights. Your nod towards him thanks him, stepping into your bedroom to retrieve some comfortable clothing. 

 “Do you still have that tea?” He asks. “The cinnamon one?” He’d never been able to find it once you had moved out, convinced that it only existed when you were about. 

“Cupboard next to the sink!” You shout back, wiggling into some soft joggers, your body instantly relaxing around the cotton. When you step back into the living area, Charles is offering a mug of tea, a warm smile on his face. He’s found the proportion of milk and sugar that goes best for your taste; of course, he remembers that. The same way he remembers what end of the sofa you prefer to sit on, leaving space to nestle in beside one another. 

Silent sips are taken, before the mugs are placed down on the coffee table. When Charles arm comes back from resting down the mug, it finds itself behind your body, pulling you ever so closer towards him. When you don’t hesitate, he can feel his hear race. He’s certain it’s exploding when you rest your head on his shoulder, almost as if the previous seven months never happened. 

“Why did you come today?” You ask softly, not wanting to break the moment between the two of you. There’s no answer for a moment, Charles shifting slightly so he could catch your eyes in his own. He looks down to where your hands had become subconsciously entwined, seeing the way your fingers wrapped around his. 

“Belle, do you really think I feel so little for you, I wouldn’t come to save you?” He murmurs, leaning close enough to rest your foreheads upon one another. Your eyelids feel heavy, closing them and revelling in the touch that you felt, one you’d been craving for so long. A hand runs over your cheek, tilting your head upwards, hot breath dancing across your cheeks. 

“It was you. It was always you.” He murmurs, closing the gap between the two of you, his soft lips feeling at home for the first time in so, so long.

That night, you fall asleep in your bed properly for the first time in seven months. A warm body rests beside you, their face pressed into your neck in a silent comfort, hands entwined. Seven months was a long time, after all. There was a lot to make up for. 

charles_leclerc:

Liked by carlossainz55, arthur_leclerc and 708,502 others

charles_leclerc: Celebration swim for the new manager of Monaco Marina. I could not be prouder of you, Belle. Here's to your next victory.

view all comments:

arthur_leclerc: alright Ross and Rachel

f1paddockpercival: THEY'RE BACK OMG OMG OMG ITS HAPPENING

smoothchilisainz: children of divorce our day has ARRIVED

maxverstappen1: Did I miss a chapter mate? Congratulations!

schecoperez: Bringing the family in for lunch soon, we expect nothing but the best from our girl. Vamos!

Tag List: @ishwiya @stillbreathin @like-fire-love-blog @rafaaoli @deviltsunoda

[luvletters4nagiseishiro]

break my heart | fuckboy!oikawa

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩ oikawa is the school's most renowned playboy and he tries his best to win you over

cw: gn!reader, college au, slight angst, suggestive, but no smut, mutual pining

notes: the slightest blue lock crossover btw

you were irritating to him. the very thought of you boils his blood-- for the simple fact that you showed no interest in him whatsoever. he was the most popular amongst the school, his groupies heart-eyed at the sight of his face, a simple smile from him could make anyone blush- except you.

it was that one day that made him distraught, almost hysterical. you two were in a calculus workshop and sitting in between you two was your friend who had been trying her best to hide the fact that she was completely enamored with oikawa. it's been three weeks into the semester and you couldn't help but wonder what your friend megumi saw in him. to you he was just a pretty face who could set some volleyballs, nothing more.

on top of his obnoxious personality, it also annoyed you just a little bit how he excels in class for someone who you have never seen pick up a pen in the last two semesters. it just sucks that he's always on par with you even with all the hours you put into your studies, but you don't dwell on it too much.

"anyways,, this is boring. let's chat." oikawa grinned playfully, adjusting his body to face you and megumi.

"have you finished the work?" you don't even glance at him and continued to click away on your calculator.

"did it last night." he said casually, leaning against the chair.

how? before you question it any further, megumi piped in. "are you guys going to the music festival in the city this weekend?" her body is completely facing him, obvious that she is directing the question at him with an ulterior motive.

"hmm, i was planning to but i would need someone fun to go with or else it'd be boring." he mused, eyeing you as you don't even bother to face him when he's talking.

"i mean we could go toget-" but before megumi could even finish that sentence, he leaned in forward on the desk.

"if y/n went with me, i'd have a lot of fun." his cheshire cat smile never failed to send shivers down your spine. you turned to see megumi's scowl on her face which made you curse under your breath.

"no thank you." you said quietly, taking a quick glance at her sour expression.

"why not?" he whined, his eyes glinted with amusement as he waited for your reaction.

"i don't think i'd have fun with you at all." you said nonchalantly. you didn't lie. you didn't think you had anything in common with oikawa at all. even if you liked the same music, how strange would it be for you to go to that music festival with him out of all people?

his grin quickly faltered, his face turning blank. he retreated from his position and went slumped back into his chair. he was stumped. every time he tried to make an advance on you, you would just flat-out reject him with no hesitation. it's been like this for months and it's driving him crazy. he even asked in front of megumi on purpose. to show that he only wanted you. and no one else.

after that day, he decided to stop plotting ways to get your attention because he was so busy with club activities and an on-going tournament. that didn't stop him from being his cocky self, flirting with girls that would watch him at the gym and even entertaining the female professors.

but every time oikawa would catch a glimpse of you in class (he tries to at least once every 5 minutes), he couldn't help but feel a burning sensation in his chest at the fact that you still weren't his.

you only realised recently that he barely talked to you in class, his playful remarks were no longer the first thing you heard when you sat down, his teases were no longer distracting you when you tried to do the work. you felt slightly relieved that you were no longer a target of his antics, because you believed deep down that everything he said and did was just a ruse, something to keep him occupied in a boring class.

but, there was a feeling of emptiness that you felt whenever you expected him to give you a witty comment, but he doesn't. and he just looked away. suddenly, every time you saw him entertain someone else you were trying to figure out why your heart would ache in response. why your stomach would churn whenever he paid megumi the slightest attention- knowing that she was obsessed with him. you knew it was just his personally. it was natural for him as a playboy to find new girls to toy around with. but why did it bother you so much?

your other friend reo tasked you with going into the boy's locker room and dropping off his textbook during his soccer practice. you didn't know why he thought it was a good idea, but you couldn't say no because his notes have been practically saving your grades in your economics classes. you thought it'd be easy to do it around this time because everyone is occupied in the gyms training.

walking in, you immediately dropped the textbook in shock when you saw oikawa shirtless and covered in sweat. he was just about to change when he caught your eyes. "so you're sneaking into locker rooms to get a peak of me now?" the cockiest grin formed on his face, the grin that you denied you missed so much.

blood rushed to your cheeks as you took in the sight. beads of sweat glistened on his abs and defined arms, somehow accentuating every line of his defined muscles. your train of thought snapped when he stepped closer to you, the grin not leaving his very, hot face. you couldn't deny it anymore, as much as you tried to. oikawa was extremely hot. no matter how distasteful his personality was to you, his face card would never decline.

"who's this for?" he cocked his head as he picked up the textbook you dropped on the ground and handing it you.

"um. it's for reo." you mutter to the ground, not daring to make eye contact with him in this situation.

he groaned, "soccer players." he took another step closer to you, forcing you to look up at him. so tall. you thought.

he was too close, his lips were only a few inches from yours. and before you could take a step back, his right hand gripped your waist to keep you close to him. "you're really hard to please y/n." he whispered into your ear. the sensation tickling your outer ear, sending shivers down your spine. your heart has never raced this hard before.

"i don't know what you mean..." you breathed out. he lowered his gaze and you felt his breath on your neck, causing even worse heart palpitations.

"i nearly gave up on you, y'know." you tried to step back but for some reason you were frozen in place, you wanted to leave somehow but the feeling of his large hand keeping you in place gave you butterflies in your stomach.

"but seeing you now, i never wanted you more." that sentence alone made you lightheaded. and before your brain could process it any further, your body moved on its own to pull him in for a kiss.

his eyes widened at the sudden advance, unexpected from you to make any move, but it didn't take him long to kiss you back, and hard. he groaned, your lips practically molding together. his left hand kept your head in place. his other hand gripped your waist tightly, making sure not to let go. he didn't ever want to let go.

oikawa's lips were soft, and so was his hair when you tugged at the back of his head, dropping the textbook once more. he groaned against your lips when you matched his roughness.

but you forcefully pulled away, breathless. "oh fuck..." you cursed under your breath. it way was too hot in that room.

"that was not. i am not-" before you could start to make excuses for yourself, he interrupted you.

"are you free tonight?" he queried, giving you an all-too-familiar grin.

"yes." you blurted out, not thinking straight. but the idea of continuing what you started with oikawa after a date didn't seem too bad.

notes: a smut pt.2 would go well with this

[sadist1224]

I still want Mafia!141 AU

Part 1 https://www.tumblr.com/sadist1224/742379650222784512/i-need-the-mafia141-au?source=share

I just still want Mafia!141 who are so used to you, your difficult, persistent character and kind heart that they try to help you in everyday life and drag you somewhere on weekends, literally imposing themselves on you. At first you were angry and nervous knowing who they were, but the more you talk to them, the deeper they penetrate into your heart.

Johnny, who seems to have fallen in love with a self-sufficient, harmful and somewhat fearless barmaid from a small bar, who can't help talking about you for a day, which annoys the Ghost, and Gaz only slaps the Scotsman on the shoulder and offers to bring you coffee to work, and at the same time sandwiches.

Price, who is happy that his boys have found entertainment outside of work hours, but still worries that you are sitting too much in their heads.

The hikes of the 141 guys start to attract attention, and at some point there are more visitors in the bar, some of whom are quite intimidating.

A ghost who notices familiar unwanted faces hanging around your work. And the problem is that your neighborhood is small, at the intersection of two streets of the city, is a no-man's land and gangs have been fighting for it for a long time. And 141 and Los Vaqueros may be ready to accept your area as neutral territory, but others are not yet. He immediately reports this to Price, thinking along the way how he can scare other sharks away from this place.

But they have a job again and Price swears that he will take care of you and the bar as soon as he returns from another city.

It's not the first time you've seen new faces in a bar lately, your income has increased significantly, but the two men who came today seem too suspicious to you. One of them is tall in a sniper hood, the other is smaller, wearing sunglasses and a medical mask on his face. Both of them run their eyes around the bar, meeting you at the bar, wiping glasses, and then bumping into Valeria's stern gaze from the opposite corner.

Both choose a quiet corner away from the eyes, and the waitress brings an order for two beers. These two don't cause you any problems throughout the evening.

But a bar shift wouldn't be a bar shift without incident, right?

Therefore, when one of the particularly drunk customers starts harassing one of the waitresses, you can't help but intervene. A few seconds are enough for you to go around the counter of your workplace and walk with quick, firm steps to a group of drunks.

"Come on, we're going to have a lot of fun~" - one of them says, clinging to the waitress's arm with such force that she can't escape them. The girl turns, fixing a pleading look at you, and a moment later a half-empty bottle of rum breaks with a loud sound on the head of one of the men. The others jump up from their seats while their friend falls to the floor.

The one closest to you swings at you with his fist, but you easily dodge him, making a grab and pinning the man to the table, twisting his arm.

To your left, Val has already knocked the third one to the ground with a good punch to the jaw.

"Is there a problem, bastardos? - the brunette does not hesitate to kick one of them in the leg. This is her place, she can. - You are not welcome here."

The waitress girl hides behind you while you watch the drunks trying to get back on their feet. A crowd has formed around you for a long time, but you know for sure that the people around you are on your side.

A group of male regulars pick up the violators by the arms and take them out the door for a "conversation". Valeria, as always, punches you and goes to the bar with a loud phrase in Spanish. Everything is going back to normal.

However, out of the corner of your eye you notice the stares in your direction from those two visitors. You don't like those looks.

It's late at night, when the shift is over and you and Val have said goodbye, you feel the surveillance again. But you know for sure that 141 is not in the city, and if it's not them, then you need to be ready.

You are not a fool and you know that because of your injury you will not be able to handle a direct fight, especially with several opponents. Your strength is enough to defend yourself, but your instincts scream at you to escape and you manage to take off before someone very tall pounces on you from the shadows.

You run well. You run fast. But, unfortunately, not for long, and there is not enough lane map in your head to choose the most acceptable route to your home.

Therefore, when you are finally dropped to the ground, you group up and manage to deliver several blows to the attacker. One in the knee, the second in the stomach under the ribs. This does not save you from a severe blow to the head and darkness in front of your eyes. Well, you've been caught.

[urfriendlylocalidiot]

Requests are open again 👀👀

Reader x LE SSERAFIM

Vacation w/ LE SSERAFIM

Vacations are nice. But a vacation with your lover is even better.

Chaewon

Honestly you guys just needed a weekend away from the city and the constant rush of everything. And after such an iconic comeback, you decide to surprise her with another weekend off. This time without cameras too. Just you two, away in the countryside for a weekend of pure relaxation.

You’ve been stressed too, so it was really just what the both of you guys needed. You decide to take her out to a little cabin in the woods. That has internet connection and really everything you two need to for a weekend.

It was the perfect vacation. You guys were able to explore the woods through the trails in the daytime and at night you guys cuddled next to the fireplace. You two really just needed a weekend away from the rush of your day to day lives, which have been jam-packed as of recently.

Sakura

After a long and stressful week, a nice little vacation was exactly what you two needed. However, since you guys spend so much time actively doing things, you both decided to have a lazy weekend inside instead. A break from the usual rush of the days was very needed for you guys.

It was honestly, the most relaxing ‘vacation’ you guys had been on. You weren’t about agendas or the next ‘big’ thing or finding the perfect place. It was just a weekend, together. You cooked together, caught up on some dramas together, and were just together for the weekend.

Of course you guys did go out, since the weather was nice. You guys went to your favorite shopping mall and looked around a little too. At the shopping mall, you guys ended up at the cozy bookstore, which was a nice quiet place. It was no wonder that by time you guys got home, it had felt like a million pounds had been lifted off your shoulders. You guys opted to cook dinner together that night.

Yunjin

You guys basically sleep all day and party all night. Not necessarily parties, but you guys are definitely the type to enjoy a city’s nightlife. It’s not even the drinking part of it that you guys enjoy. It’s more just the energy of the night.

It’s mysterious, and it feels anything could happen. It’s electric and you guys are lightning rods for it. You would definitely go dancing somewhere — a club, a party, anywhere. However, if you guys are feeling extra spontaneous one night, you may even wind up performing at a karaoke bar.

But you guys have to stop laughing long enough for it to actually happen. It’s honestly a good thing, you guys don’t exactly need everyone to find out who you guys are. Either way, it’s not about how good you guys sounded it’s about how good you guys felt that night.

Kazuha

Kazuha and you have been working hard. A lot harder than usual. So much so, that you guys barely are able to see each other anymore. The solution, obviously was to go on vacation together. As soon as you guys both have a break at the same time from your busy schedules (which does mean cancelling things on both ends) you guys decide to go on vacation!

After so long of not being in each other’s arms, to say it was a relief to finally hold each other again is an understatement. Kazuha would’ve been perfectly content with just spending those few days together, but you wanted to go a little farther. You end up booking a spontaneous trip to Japan to visit her family!

It seemed like as good an idea as any. And both Kazuha and her family are glad you did. They were able to properly congratulate Kazuha on her comeback and your success as well. You have a great time, laughing and sharing stories with her family. You even manage to convince them to go to some touristy places. However, all too soon, you and Kazuha have to fly back to Korea, to say the least, you’re both looking forward to the next vacation.

Eunchae

Anywhere and anything can be a vacation with Eunchae. She’s just that fun to be around. And whenever you’re around her it’s like all your problems just melt away. You decide to take her out to the beach, for a weekend of sun and sea. Just you two and the Pacific Ocean. No worries in paradise after all.

You guys end up having the time of your life, even sorta? figuring out how to surf. But mainly just splashing each other with the ocean water. You guys fool around and just have fun on the beach! Even making sandcastles and mini versions of each other. There was even a vendor selling fresh juice, so you guys didn’t have to leave for a while!

The best part of the whole trip though, was getting tickets to a boat trip. On the trip, you guys were able to see dolphins and sharks and turtles. Even better though, you guys got to see the sunset together and watch as it painted the ocean the most beautiful shades of pink and orange.

[dudadragneel]

🦄 I literally just woke up and thought this through. So they’re staying at y/n parent’s holiday house right? Okay so I’m thinking to switch the dynamics up with this one in which Hyunjin knows he’s sick and keeps expressing this to y/n but they’re really busy with work or something on their laptop all day. So Hyunjin keeps telling y/n he doesn’t feel well but they think he’s probably just tired and shrug it off. Then afterwards he gets a really bad stomachache and y/n finally starts thinking something is actually wrong so they cuddle to make him feel better and then that’s when it happens and he just throws up all over y/n and the bed and it’s a whole disaster. Y/n feels bad now for not taking him seriously and helps them both get clean. He feels really bad and gets all emotional which only makes him feel worse. They hope that everything is fine but then things just get worse so y/n ends up having to drive them home early since they don’t haven’t any clean clothes anymore and care for him better there.

want this one to be messy in all the best waysss 🤞🏻I

hope this wasn’t too long/too much I wanted to be descriptive I hope you like my little idea :)I

I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK THIS LONG! BUT HERE IT IS!!

🦄! I hope you and everyone else enjoy it!

Warning: it's messy, I guess

AN EVENTFUL WEEKEND

To say you two liked to enjoy every single minute of your vacations was an understatement, you planned everything to make sure you'd be able to make the most out of the breaks Hyunjin had from his busy idol life.

This time around, it was summer, thankfully it wasn't as hot as it was on a previous trip with the boys, but it was still hot. You two wanted to enjoy some pool and a chill time away from everything. Your parents owned a holiday house away from the city and told you to enjoy your time there, that way you wouldn't need to spend money on a 3 days stay somewhere else.

You were both excited for this little getaway, even though you still had work due in a few days and you'd be a little busy at the beginning of your vacation.

However, things wouldn't go as smooth as you'd both like. On the night before Hyunjin went out for dinner with the boys, it was a hot night so they decided to go to the Han river and just enjoy each other's company while eating. They talked, they laughed, they cried and they ate a lot and had a lot of fun.

By the time they decided to walk back to the dorms, Hyunjin was already feeling weird. After they ate and started playing, Hyunjin felt full, not only felt, his belly was actually a little bloated. He thought that it was just gas and moving around would help ease the weird feeling. But it didn't, it kept getting worse, his stomach was still bloated and started to hurt. He tried to just shrug it off not to worry his brothers.

But the walk back home was rather long and although it was a little windy, the heat still wasn't helping. As they made their way to the dorms, Hyunjin's stomach started to feel worse, what was once a feeling of being full, had now turned into nausea. He felt something creep up his chest and immediately swallowed and tried to just shrug it off again.

But deep down he knew he was eventually gonna be sick and his stomach wasn't helping at all.

He just tapped on Chan's shoulder to get the older boy's attention.

- Hyung...

- Hm? What is it?

Chan said as he and the others stopped walking to pay attention to Hyunjin.

- I'm feeling sick...

- What's wrong?

- My stomach hurts...and I feel nauseous...

- Okay. Maybe it's because you moved too much after eating. Do you want to sit down for a bit?

- Yeah...

The boys helped Hyunjin to a bench nearby and sat for a while to see if he felt a little better before heading to the dorms.

- Do you want some water?

- Yeah...I guess...

They bought some water at a nearby vending machine and gave it to Hyunjin, who took careful small sips. Thankfully, the cold water gave him some sort of relief, it sat well with his stomach. He just sat for a while and took deep breaths as he felt the nausea begin to fade away. After a few moments he told the others he felt a little better and they could keep walking back home. He soon regretted that decision.

No lies, he took max 5 steps and his stomach jolted again. He felt something rush up his chest in a way he knew he wouldnt be able to hold.

He tugged on his hyung's shirt and barely managed to talk.

- -m gonna throw up

He said gagging and bending forward, vomit gushing out of him and hitting the ground with a sickening sound, and just barely escaping soiling his hyung's shoes.

- Hyune!

The boys said gathering around him, out of concern and also to block him from potential curious people walking around.

Chan turned him around so he was now facing the street gutter and he supported himself on his knees as he spat out thick saliva before another violent stream came out, his body barely gave him time to catch his breath when a burp brought up even more partially digested food.

- Oh my god, Hyune-ah...

His hyungs said as they rubbed his back and kept his hair from falling on his face.

- How are you feeling?

- Sick...

- Maybe it's the food. It could've been out of date. It's best if you get it all out, Hyunjin-ah.

There was no need to tell him twice, as his stomach contracted again, sending more putrid vomit up, followed by another strong wave.

- Do any of you have water?

Chan said as he rubbed Hyunjin's back, gently applying a little bit of pressure to help the boy get everything out his system.

- Here Hyung.

Han said handing him his water.

- Hyune-ah, straighten your back and take deep breaths with me okay?

Hyunjin did as he was told and took a few minutes for his stomach to give him a break.

- Here, rinse your mouth. Are you good?

- I think so...

- Can you walk back home?

- Yeah...

- I'll help you. Let's go.

The walk back to the dorms didn't have any more incidents and Hyunjin couldn't be happier to be home.

He took a shower and some stomach medication and went to sleep, hoping this was an isolated incident and he'd be good by morning for your little getaway. But boy, was he wrong.

Morning came, it was sunny but chilly at the same time, you were finishing packing your stuff and called Hyunjin.

- Good morning babe.

- Morning

He said on the other side of the phone, voice raspy from just waking up and the strain of vomiting the night before. You noticed it but didn't give it much thought, since he had just woken up.

- How are you?

- good...and you?

- I'm great. I'm finishing packing my stuff, I'll be there in 20 minutes.

- Okay.

He was lying, he felt sick. Whatever it was from the food yesterday, it was still making him sick.

But he didn't want to cancel your getaway because it was important to both you and him, getting to relax like this together.

He got up from bed and contemplated whether or no the would have breakfast. He knew that if he didn't eat anything the hunger would add to the nausea and it would make him feel even worse.

He took some Dramin before mustering the courage to have breakfast. Needless to say it was hard to chew and swallow the food but he managed to do it.

He also finished packing his bag and then got down to wait for you at the garage.

Like you said, you arrived exactly 20 minutes after you called him.

He got into the car and gave you a kiss.

- Hey babe.

- Hello honey. How are you?

- Not that good...and you?

- I'm fine. What's wrong?

- I don't know... I feel weird...

- Aren't you just tired? You went out with the boys yesterday right?

- Yeah...I don't know...

- Just don't pay much attention to it. Try to keep yourself distracted.

You said grabbing his hand and kissing it before starting the car. You put on some music and turned on the AC since it was a little hot outside. Just like you said, he tried his best to keep himself distracted, he chatted with you, and sang a little bit as well, despite feeling his stomach twist a little every now and then. Not enough for him to say he felt nauseous, but enough to annoy him.

One hour into the road trip, the medication he had taken earlier was still working, hence why he wasn't feeling that nauseous, but he felt really sleepy so he was dozing off. Which was good, that way he didn't pay attention to the weird feeling in his stomach, that was giving him clear signs that having breakfast might've not been the best idea.

Eventually, you decided it would be good to stop at a rest area to go to the bathroom and buy some snacks before heading to the house.

Hyune, wake up...

Hm? Did we arrive?

Not yet silly. It's a rest area, will go straight to the house from here. I'm gonna use the restroom real quick and eat something. And you?

I'll use the restroom as well...

Do you want something to eat?

No, I don't feel hungry...my stomach feels weird...

You might be carsick...It'll be good if you step out of the car for a bit, breathe some fresh air and stretch you legs.

Yeah...I'll do that.

You went to the bathroom first while Hyunjin mustered the courage to get out of the car he was rather comfortable there and he was afraid that moving would make his stomach flip. But he didn't even need to move for that to happen, it flipped and contracted without giving him much warning, he suppressed a gag and recolected himself before heading to the restroom.

He locked himself inside one of the stalls and just stood there, eyes closed, clenching his fists to the point his knuckles turned white, breathing deeply trying to fight the urge to throw up. He didn't want to throw the little amount he ate earlier afraid that he'd be feeling both nauseous and hungry later.

But his stomach had other plans, it was sloshing around as if he was inside a car on a bumpy road. He felt it contract making him gag into his hands and he kept gagging, trying his best to hold everything in and for a brief moment he thought he had won that battle. But then, a stronger contraction mixed with an air bubble stuck in his throat, made him burp and that time he couldn't hold it. Vomit escaped through his fingers, splashing inside the toilet water with a sickening sound.

He didn't want to kneel in front of the toilet in a public restroom so he bent over, one of his hands on his aching stomach and the other against the wall for balance. His stomach contracted, arching his back and sending another wave of pale brown liquid that hit the water with a sickening sound, unfortunately for him, loud enough for someone who entered the restroom to hear.

Dude, are you okay in there? Do you want me to call someone?

No, I'm fine...

That was his answer, but not his reality. As soon as he answered the stranger outside, his stomach contracted one more time, but now only bile came out and then another contraction forced him to gag harshly one more time bringing up just a thin stream, but enough to make him go red because of strain his body was putting him through.

Once he was left dry heaving, he stood straight, just like you always told him to do when he got sick, to try to keep his stomach from being stimulated again. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply a few times before deeming it safe to exit the stall. He rinsed his mouth and splashed some water on his face, given how he was looking after what he just went through.

You were waiting for Hyunjin outside eating your snack. The stranger who was inside the men's restroom came out and commented with his friend that someone was throwing up, you happened to overhear them talking and got a bit worried. Could it have been Hyunjin? you thought but then you remembered that it could've been just carsickness and that he would bee feeling better now. However another man left the restroom first, so you thought it might've been him and not Hyunjin who was getting sick.

Hyunjin then got out of the restroom and met with you at the table you were.

Are you okay?

Yeah. I just...I think I was feeling a little carsick...

Did you throw up?

No...

He was lying, he wanted to tell you he did throw up, but he thought you wouldn't get worried and just tell him he was tired or something, so he kept it to himself.

Let's go.

He slept through the rest of the way until you got to the summer house. It was a beautiful place, away from the city, it had a pool, which would be marvelous, if he wasn't feeling so horrible.

You two unpacked your bags and you proceeded to make lunch, Hyunjin's situation was slowly getting worse, the nausea just didn't want to fade away anymore, so he deemed it best to stay outside than risk being exposed to the smell of food.

Honey, I'll stay outside, by the pool. It's too hot...

He said, which wasn't a lie, it was too hot.

okay. I'll call you when it's ready.

He lay down on one of the sun loungers and tried to pay attention to his surroundings, in an attempt to ignore the nausea. He felt a cool breeze on his skin and listened to the sound of the water inside the pool. That was the most relaxed he felt since yesterday. But things would soon take a turn for the worse.

Lunch was ready and Hyunjin couldn't be feeling more fearful than now. The last thing he wanted was to eat, he knew that if he did so, he would eventually throw up.

Babe...I'm not hungry...

What do you mean?

My stomach doesn't feel well...

It might still be sensitive from the trip. Maybe if you eat something it will feel a little better. Feeling hungry is only gonna make it worse.

Okay...I'll eat just a little bit...

The food was delicious, like always, and he wanted to have enjoyed it, but that wasn't the case. Each mouthful was a struggle, he would chew for too long and then swallowing it would be even harder. In the end, he managed to eat a fair amount. But his stomach was complaining all the time and proceeded to do so after he finished eating.

While you did the dishes he decided to go to the bedroom to rest for a bit, hoping his stomach would feel a little better after a nap. He lay down, one hand resting on his stomach the other arm covering his eyes.

You still had some work to do, so you decided to work while you kept company to Hyunjin. You entered very quietly and sat down on your desk.

Hm? Babe....

Oh, Hyune, did I wake you up?

Not really....

You can go back to sleep, I won't make any noise.

Babe...my stomach hurts...

Maybe the food didn't sit well with you being carsick. Why don't you try to get some sleep while I get this over with?

I'll try...

You failed to notice the sad tone in his voice when he answered you, and just focused on your work for the time being. Hyunjin felt so frustrated with the fact that you weren't exactly worried about him, that he just turned to the other side.

He'd been feeling awful since last night and now, even though he hated to admit, he was stressed that you were thinking he wasn't being serious about feeling sick. He just closed his eyes and tried to focus on sleeping, but his misery just got worse and worse.

In a few minutes, he started to feel cramps on his stomach, the burning sensation grew stronger, the nausea had subsided a bit but it was still there. It was as if there was someone stabbing him from inside and starting a fire in his stomach, a feeling now unbearable.

Without knowing, he started crying, not only because of the unbearable pain he felt, but also because you weren't taking his complaints seriously. He curled up in a tiny ball covered by the sheets, even though it was hot, the pain made him break into cold sweats. You could hear some shuffling behind you, so you stopped working and turned to Hyunjin, only to find him in that state.

Hyune? Babe?

You said as you gently nudged his shoulder. Understandably, he didn't want to move, or look at you, which surprised you. And now you started to grow concerned.

Babe, please. What's wrong?

He turned to you, eyes red from crying.

I've been telling you what's wrong, since morning.

Baby, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I was too focused with the trip and the remaining work I had to do. I'm sorry I didn't hear you.

My stomach is killing me.

What exactly are you feeling?

Cramps and it burns. It's hurting too much.

Oh baby...I'm sorry. I'm here now.

You lay down next to him and cuddled him, you brushed his hair and gently massaged his tummy, in circling motion. He tried his best to focus on your touch and take deep breaths to see if he'd feel a little better now that you were with him. But it didn't take long before the disaster unfolded.

His stomach just felt worse and worse. The nausea that had been hidden while he felt pain, had now came back. He felt everything sloshing inaide, he was laying down but he felt like he was o boat on a very angry sea.

He felt it jump aggressively and send it's contents up his chest but he felt like there was a burp stuck on his throat so he carefully tried to get rid of it only to be tricked by his own body.

As soon as he did that, hot liquid rushed up his throat without much warning, filling his mouth with a foul taste. When he opened his mouth, thinking it was only a burp, vomit gushed outright onto you, soiling you, him and the bed.

- Oh my god! Hyune! Are you okay?

- S-sorry...

That's all he managed to say as he sat up and another violent stream gushed out, adding to the mess on the bed. You ran to get a towel to put on top of it and helped Hyunjin sit on the edge of the bed, with a bucket at his feet.

- Oh baby...

You said wiping his mouth and the tears that had unconsciously fallen down his cheeks.

- I'm S-sorry...I made a mess...

He said between sobs.

- I just- I was feeling sick since yesterday and it just wouldn't go away...

- Why didn't you tell me?

You said and immediately regretted saying that.

- I tried to! The whole day! From the moment you picked me up at the dorms I told you I was feeling weird. But you didn't give it much thought and just kept saying I was tired or carsick.

You had never seen Hyunjin that angry or sad before, not to the point of talking like this to you. But you couldn't blame him one bit, you knew this was 100% your fault.

- Baby, I'm so so so sorry...

He had broken into sobs after saying that, from pain and frustration, and it only made things worse. Crying made him swallow a lot of saliva and that just increased his nausea even more. In a matter of seconds he bent over as another violent stream of chunky vomit gushed out, thankfully, hitting the bucket you had previously placed by his feet.

You rushed to grab his hair and hold it while your other hand rubbed his back.

- It's okay. You're doing great. Get everything out.

A harsh gag, painfully contracted his stomach and arched his back, making he bend even further as another wave came out mixing with what was already inside the bucket.

- Oh my god, baby. I'm so sorry...

You said as you kept rubbing his back. A small coughing fit stimulated his stomach, which sent up a thin stream of saliva mixed with partially digested food.

- oh god.

You couldn't help but grimace a little, the room was starting to smell, since the bed sheets were still soiled with vomit.

He sat straight, trying to catch his breath and regain control of his body but it was pointless. His stomach still felt weird, it contracted once more and for a while Hyunjin tried to hold it in, his throat was starting to hurt. But his body had other plans, he felt a bubble of air coming up his throat and he tried to burp, but instead, vomit came out without much warning, getting on his clothes again and ok the floor.

All you could do was put another towel on top of it and keep rubbing Hyunjin's back, but now you tried to rub his stomach as well. Maybe some gentle touch would comfort him a little.

His stomach finally gave him a little break.

- Baby, straighten your back a little. Let's take a deep breath. Come on, in and out.

He followed your instructions while you still rubbed his back and squeezed his hand, reassuring him you were there.

- Baby, come here. Let's take these off.

You helped him out of his soiled clothes and guided him to sit on a chair while you removed the bed sheets.

You came back from the laundry and then guided him to the bathroom and had him sit on the bathtub.

- Baby, I'm gonna help you, okay?

- Hm...

- if you feel sick let me know, okay?

- Okay...

You helped him take a shower because he was feeling too weak, after throwing up most of what he'd eaten that day. You washed his hair since some vomit ended up getting on it.

Thankfully he didn't throw up during the bath and then you helped him get dressed in some comfy clothes.

He had thrown up on you but you were afraid of leaving him alone, so you just wiped off and then changed into some clean clothes.

- Baby...I'm tired....

- try to get some sleep baby...I'll just get some cold water for you.

He lay down and closed his eyes and tried to sleep, but it didn't matter how tired be was, his stomach felt way too bad for him to be able to relax. It kept gurgling, twisting and turning, the nausea never going away, and only getting worse.

You got back from the kitchen with some cold water for him and lay down beside him.

- Honey, come here, let's cuddle, hm?

- I want to ...but I don't feel safe...

-Why?

- I'm afraid of vomiting on you again.

- You can turn to the side, baby. I just want to embrace you.

- thank you.

You wrapped your arms gently around him, careful not to squeeze him and make him throw up again.

Just like a miracle, he managed to fall asleep, while you stayed awake, feeling both relief that he was sleeping and tension that this situation might be far from over. And boy, were you right.

About an hour into sleeping, Hyunjin woke up with his stomach revolting again. However he didn't dare move his body, he just kept his eyes closed and tried to take deep long breaths. He clenched his fists in an attempt to take back control over his body, feeling tense trying to hold everything in. Part of him wanted to call you, the other knew for sure he'd throw up if he even attempted to.

But none of his approaches to easing the nausea were working and now it was building up even more. His mouth started tasting foul and saliva was pooling inside of it, he felt something rushing up his throat so he covered his mouth and started swallowing convulsively, trying to hold it in. He took deep breaths in between and for a brief moment, it looked like that urge had gone away. But then, an air bubble came up his throat and when he opened his mouth to let it out, a thick stream of vomit spilled out soiling the bed sheets once again and the floor.

You jolted up at the sound of something splashing on the floor and immediately knew what was going on.

- Hyune! Baby!

- 'm sorry...

He said almost sobbing again for making another huge mess. You quickly grabbed another towel and threw it on the floor on top of the vomit and helped Hyunjin sit up again.

The motion made his stomach jump and he felt liquid rish up his esophagus, he covered his mouth to suppress a belch, but to no avail. Another gag followed up bringing more pale brown vomit that escapes from his mouth and slipped through his fingers soiling his shirt, shorts and the sheets. He kept his hand on his mouth, knowing that another wave was coming up.

- Shit! Here.

You ended up forgetting to get back the bucket before, so instinctively, you placed your hands under his mouth just in time to catch the remaining vomit, preventing from adding to the mess. You could feel every bit and piece of undigested food pooling in your hands, not being able to do much but breathe deeply holding back a grimace.

- You're okay. You're doing good. Don't worry about any of this. Just focus on getting everything out.

You couldn't move from your spot and your hands were far from being able to hold everything. So you thought that since the bed was already a mess, it didn't matter if the rest of it got dirty and asked Hyunjin to get the blanket and place it in his legs so you could dispose of the vomit in your hands without soiling him and his clothes even more.

- Baby, I'll just wash my hands, okay? I'll be right back.

You left to the bathroom and Hyunjin just stood there, frustrated that he lost complete control of his body. It didn't matter how much he tried to control the nausea, his stomach just wanted to get everything out. At this point he thought that he was vomiting what he had eaten the entire week.

Another jolt and a loud gurgle announced that more was coming. The same process, foul tasting saliva and hot liquid rushing up his chest and back of his throat. By now he knew it was no use trying to fight this awful feeling. The putrid tasting liquid soon filled his mouth making him gag, he he covered his mouth in an useless attempt but he knew he wouldn't be able to hold it in. In that moment another gag arched his back, he let go of his mouth and ducked his head as another bout of vomit fell on the blanket he had previously placed by his lap.

His body barely gave him time to catch his breath before another gag made him belch and cough up another stream of pale borwn liquid, this time coming out of nose as well.

You got back into the bedroom just in time to see him vomit again on the blanket that by now was completely soiled.

- Oh my god! Babe!

You ran to his side and grabbed his hair and this time decided to rub his stomach. You could feel his body shiver under your hand as another harsh gag arched his back bringing up more putrid vomit, the sound of it mixing with the big puddle on the blanket making you grimace a little.

- It's okay babe. Just keep going. Just focus on get it all out.

He grabbed your arm for dear life and squeezed it as his stomach contracted one more time, bringing only a little stream of liquid mixed with rice and saliva. You squeezed his arm back reassuring him you were there.

- Baby, I think you have food poisoning. It's not normal for you to be vomiting so much. Considering all the times this has happened before. Tell me, what did you do last night?

He breathed deeply but didn't dare open his eyes. The lights and everything were starting to make him feel overstimulated, even if he didn't have a migraine.

- I- I went to the Han river... And we até there.

- when did you start feeling like this? Be honest with me. I know I didnt pay attention to you but please tell me.

- Since yesterday night ... I got sick last night when we were going back to the dorms...

- Okay... Well go to the hospital and then we'll head back home okay? You need to be examined and get some fluids in...you threw up too much and you're proba ly dehydrated. And also, we don't have any more clean sheets or clothes.

- Okay....I'm sorry...

- don't apologize. It's not your fault. If I had payed attention, this wouldn't have happened.

You packed your stuff and put the soiled clothes and sheets on plastic bags, securely closed to wash later.

You grabbed a few plastic bags from the kitchen and gave one to Hyunjin before entering the car.

- Babe, I'll let the windows open so you can breathe some fresh air. You have the plastic bag but if the movement of the car gets too much tell me, we can park somewhere and the continue.

- Okay ...

A few minutes into the ride, his stomach gurgled loudly, and you heard it as well. You placed you hand on his shoulders thank God for automatic cars, as he brought the plastic bag close to his face and bent over throwing up bile and saliva.

You could only rub his shoulders and hope he'd be fine. He coughed a few time because something got stuck on his throat and then threw up again. He then was left dry heaving and you told him to sit back on the seat and try to take deep breaths. He did as you told him and for a while it worked.

For another hour he was "fine", his stomach kept making uncomfortable sounds but nothing more than that and Hyynjin kept shifting uncomfortably all the time. Unfortunately, the road to the hospital was in construction so the route you had to take instead was too bumpy because of debris and other stuff. You cursed under your breath because this was now explicit torture to Hyunjin.

He tried his best to not throw up and kept everything in, but the swaying was too much and that plastic bag wouldn't be of much help.

- Please...pull over-

He said gagging at the end of the sentence. Thankfully there was a shoulder near that you could stop the car. As soon as it came to a full stop, Hyunjin quickly unbuckled his seatbelt and opened the door, bending over as a thick stream of bile and saliva poured by the side of the car.

You barely had time to unbuckle your belt, getting out of the car on your side would be risky so you just moved closer to Hyunjin and started rubbing his back as he gagged productively one more time followed by a burp that brought a thin stream of bile.

- oh baby... Hold on just a bit longer. Well Be at the hospital soon.

You gave him some water to rinse his mouth and then he closed the door, sat back on the seat and exhaled tiredly.

- I feel miserable...

- I know baby...you'll fell better after the doctor prescribes you something and we're at home.

- I know...

- Are you good to go? Do you need to throw up again?

- No...not now...

- Okay, then I'll restart the car. I'll do my best but the road is not gonna be of much help ..

- I know ... It's not your fault....

You started the car and headed to the hospital, unfortunately he threw up one more time on the way there but you didn't have to stop again.

It didn't take long for him to get called. You explained to the doctors what had happened while Hyunjin just sat beside you, holding onto another plastic bag in case he felt the urge to throw up again.

- I see...so he's been feeling nauseous since yesterday. And the vomiting started yesterday as well, right?

- Yes.

- Well run some tests and we'll take a blood sample, while we do that, we'll get you some IV fluids. From what yohr s/o told me, you might be really dehydrated. I'm actually surprised you didn't faint. You can go lay down there, a nurse will go there in a minute.

The nurse installed the IV fluids and told you that it would take about 1h30 for it to be done and that he'd do an abdominal tomography to rule out anything more serious, since it could've been an appendix burst given some of his symptoms.

The IV fluids were helping, he felt a little better after 30 minutes, then they called him for the exam and when he returned he was feeling nauseous again, moving around was the last thing he wanted to do.

He just sat back on the bed and didn't want to lay down. He just kept looking down.

- I want to throw up.

He said gagging and you hurriedly placed the basin beneath his chin for him to throw up and rubbed his back.

The nurse came back and told the doctor had prescribe result of the tomography medication for his stomach ache and that the tomography didn't show anything and the blood tests confirmed your suspicion, food poisoning.

The doctor told him he'd stay at least another hour getting IV fluids and an intravenous medication to help with the continuous vomiting.

Fortunately the medication seemed to have worked and althouggh be still felt nauseous, be didn't feel like vomiting. He gave you a prescription with medications for Hyunjin and told you what you should do to nurse him back to health and that this could take a few days.

- Let's go home.

In the car Hyunjin kept dozing off on the ride home and thankfully he didn't throw up anymore.

- When we get home you'll take a nice bath and then you'll get some nice sleep and I'll be by your side all the time my love.

- Thank you...

He said smiling shyly and turning to look at you with loving eyes, almost asleep again.

Jus like you said, you helped him take a shower and then lay down with him and let him cuddle you. You kept a bucket and some spare sheets and towels ready for whatever would happen.

An dnust like the doctor warned you, it would take a few days for him to recover. You spent the next 3 or 4 days cleaning vomit here and there, doing laundry and making countless trips to the bathroom.

To say you were exhausted when he was finally better was an overstatement but then, Hyunjin did his best to compensate and take good care of you, the way you also deserved.

[chussyracing]

What is happening in the world of motorsports?

a very long post summarizing the stuff that happened across the last two weeks

Racing updates:

Pacal Wahrlein became the FE champion for 2024

Yuki started from the back of the grid after taking multiple new components outside of allowed (so Guanyu who was p20 in quali and got 3 places grid drop penalty for impending was actually promoted to p19 because of this), Max got 10 places grid penalty only for new ICE outside of allowed ones

Yuki was ordered to rest after his check up following the crash in Hungary and he was seen limping after getting out of the car after the GP, because he bruised his tailbone and it was confirmed that the impact of the crash was worth 68G

FIA announced that a selected part of the teams will be checked for the flexibility of their wings in Spa

Hungary was really a mayhem for everyone: McLaren messing up the strat and then spending 20 laps telling Lando he is a dick for not letting Oscar swap after the pitstop, Lance ignoring multiple team orders telling him to let Fernando swap, Max made a rookie mistake and Nico Rosberg blamed him for staying up till 3am sim racing, RB messed up Daniel strategy while pulling out a one stopper for Yuki and Alpine messed up quali strat and then after another pitlane start had to retire Pierre

Haas extended their engine deal with Ferrari through 2028

after suspecting an illegal cooling duct on the McLaren car, Red Bull filed a complaint about it to FIA (but FIA claims that check after race showed that the holes they thought were there, were closed up)

also to have a bit more fun with McLaren, they got their motorhome back only for them to lose the roof of the front of it in the wind during a storm at the start of the race weekend in Hungary (and Oscar indirectly joked that their motorhome needs to get destroyed for Lando to get pole)

Antonio Lobato believes that the drop of performance for Red Bull is not just because of Newey leaving, but also because FIA caught them cheating and they had to change some parts (and he claimed that some teams found out about it and at least two of them confirmed it to him)

McLaren might have ruined Oscar’s first ever win but Australian GP plastered his posters all over the city (because he was actually born in Melbourne)

Aston Martin’s quali got fucked after the red flag because of a mistake FIA made thanks to APX GP in the parc fermé

George was disqualified from Belgian GP after his car was found to be underweight and Horner claimed that he believes the difference in the weight was made by the decision to only stop (and our comm claimed that Mercedes knew about George's car being underweight before they started, that's why they purposedly left a lot of fuel in the car and also that recounted the weight dofference would be worth around 4 or 5 seconds)

Stoffel Vandoorne will test Aston Martin in the summer break

Liam Lawson and Daniel Ricciardo will test an older Red Bull spec while Yuki will fulfill a filming day in the summer break

Silly season:

Mattia Binotto, the devil himself, has been appointed the new head of Audi after both Seidl and Hoffmann „leave the team“ (= got fired for not hiring Carlos alongside Nico who said the decision shocked him since he had no idea) – they were also eyeing Mike Krack according to some reports so it is very much possible they might want to hire him alongside Binotto

Carlos congratulated him on the move and then everyone thought he is going to Audi for sure because of him

but he goes into Williams on multi year basis (2025, 2026 and beyond) instead

There's a rumour he has clauses allowing him to leave when he pleases which James Vowles technically denied saying they only wanted someone that wanted to be a part of the team and who wouldn't come for money or as a last resort option (and he also said they were talking to Carlos since AD 2023)

Sauber/Audi also hired Stefan Strahnz (previously in Merc) as program director

Kevin Magnussen will leave Haas at the end of the season, Este signed with them on multiyear deal

after rumours that Alpine F1 team wants to find new engine supplier and become a customer team, Renault explained to their employees they would like to focus more on new projects like hydrogen and battery development instead, according to the gossip they are not ready and French labour union is interested in the case, because it could lead to mass firing and nobody wants that

also if it wasn’t enough, Bruno Famin left his position of Alpine’s team principal after Spa to focus on the Renault’s car division instead and Oliver Oakes from Hitech becomes their new team principal (that could also mean signing up Paul Aron to their junior academy)

fun fact: Hitech was among the teams trying to become 11th team on the grid (what if… Briatore sold it off to Hitech? to Andretti?)

there are some talks about who could partner Pierre in Alpine and gossip started seeping out that in the internal Jack/Mick test, Mick was pretty impressive

Marcin Budkowski said that everyone at Alpine knew Este was talking to Williams because he had a GPS in the car that they were tracking in the company

Enrico Cardile who left Ferrari with immediate effect to get replaced by Frederic Vasseur as head of chassis technical team before Loic Serra can join the team after his gardening leave, was officially announced as Aston Martin’s new chief technical officer for 2025 and Vasseur said that Ferrari will officially announce the new technical department structure after the summer break

Autosport believes that Alpine is in advanced talks with Mercedes to get engine, gearbox and suspension from them (which might come as early as next year instead of 2026 like previously suggested, Toto met up with them in Spa)

Helmut Marko confirmed to stay with Red Bull till 2026 (which supports the claim that Max stays in the team considering he had a clause to leave alongside Marko)

Toto spoke to oe24 and said that they are not interested in Adrian Newey because he trusts James Allison and therefore

PlanetF1 thinks that George is a candidate for the other Audi seat in the future when Carlos didn’t sign with them and that would open a way for Max to Mercedes

Marko confirmed that they will evaluate Checo’s chances to keep his seat after Spa and Daniel said that these two races are the two most important ones in his career and the team ruined the Hungarian race for him

Isack Hadjar, Yuki, Liam Lawson are also linked to RBR and RB mess

finally Red Bull confirmed that Checo will continue with them for the rest of this season (but there are rumours that LM and Carlos Slim asked them to keep Checo after Verstappen jr and sr already got told that Checo is leaving after the break on sunday, because they need Checo staying at least for Mexican GP due to high volume of ticket sales Checo brings at his home race)

today Daniel and Liam are having sort of a shootout that would be for next year's seat (Yuki is in Imola as well but for filming day with current car so he is NOT a part of the seat discussion)

also fun fact from press con where Yuki hinted he thought he is signing a Red Bull Racing contract not a RB one

Marcus Ericsson claimed Logan and James Vowles’ relationship is so bad that they do not even speak each other and cited Kyle Kirkwood as his source because they spoke about it in the Indycar paddock, Logan denied it and basically said that Marcus is just running his mouth (the only thing he was right about is Logan being out of Williams confirmed by Carlos’ move)

more gossip about Kimi to Merc for 2025 after his feature race win, he will also test W13 in Belgium after this race weekend (and he was very friendly with Bono after Lewis won in Spa)

Future of F1:

Audi announced their first two sponsors they will come into F1 with in 2026: BP and Castrol (Castrol is currently sponsoring Alpine so they will probably depart next year)

FIA warned drivers to stop swearing on team radio after Hungarian GP (so almost all radios we got this weekend were full of swear words)

Osaka made „Convention and Tourism Bureau“ to help support the F1 race in the future (Suzuka has a deal till 2009)

F1 will test new cooling system inside the cockpit to help with extreme heat (initiated in Qatar last year with extreme temperatures) in Dutch GP

F1 commission made some rule changes/decisions

-they decided not to change the point system which they speculated about (like 12 drivers scoring or all 20 driver scoring etc)

-the minimum weight will increase by 2 kgs to help drivers keep more healthy routine (it is time to address some eating habits that drivers speak about although this change is not enough to just end it)

-testing for new regulations for 2026 will be 9 days long to help teams get used to such big changes (also there is still talk about how bad the racing will be with the active aero and how fast or technically how slow the cars might be)

-these 9 days will be spread over 3 venues (probably Bahrain, Barcelona and??)

-those rules will be updated and presented on World Motor Sport Council on 17th October and then on 2nd F1 commission will meet to discuss it further

-parental leave, sick leave and team entertainment will stay outside of budget cap

Mastercard entered F1 world as expected, they became McLaren’s sponsor (after also speaking to Mercedes allegedly)

Otmar Szafnauer said he is part of american project evaluating 11th team on the f1 grid

Rumour has it that Spa and Zandvoort might stay on the calendar but only as alternating tracks (only one of them would be raced each week and they would alternate

F1 partnered with Las Vegas Convention and Visitos Authority to help promote tourism

Other series:

McLaren and their driver moves in other series jeez: Theo Pourchaire is back in the team after getting fired when he signed a multi year contract previously, because Alex Rossi got injured

they are also making moves in FE where Jack Hughes will leave them and join Maserati next year instead

other moves in FE include Stoffel Vandoorne leaving DS Penske and joining Maserati as well, Nico Müller leaving ABT CUPRA

At Goodwood, Newey drove a Ferrari and introduced the hypercar be worked on, but also he gave interviews and mentioned that he can start working for a new team in March 2025

Excel London might host the last Formula E race in 2025, because the corners are tight and it is no longer sustainable with bigger cars although they want to keep London as a venue

Tuukka Taponen replaced Nikola Tsolov for this weekend after he got a race ban for participating in another FIA race without authorization from the federation

Fun stuff:

Charles and Pierre played Box of Bluffs (the video is somewhere on Youtube)

Leo Leclerc and Roscoe Hamilton met and it was as iconic as everyone expected it to be

Mercedes had limited data on Friday after the global blackout caused by Crowdstrike issues (and Red Bull made fun of their non-working computers on Twitter while F1 footage focused on shooting the Crowdstrike logo on Lewis’ helmet help)

Lando was at Euro 2024 final while George snapped a pic with Djokovic at Wimbledon

Este got his Alpine car which he won the Hungarian GP with and placed it in his family’s private collection

funnily enough, Lando and Este had almost the same helmet for the Hungarian GP, Lando because he broke an extremely expensive driver trophy last year, Este because he got his only ever F1 win here, they are not the same (side note about Lando is that he wrote a short note for the company making the trophies and made a lot of mistakes in it and then people said he is actually dyslectic and I don'tfeel like it is appropriate to spy for any proof but if you want to know more, the articles i saw mention tiktok as a source)

Max was “banned” from late night sim racing after binning into Lewis in Hungary after he raced till 3am, but Max said to media that it’s not like he was banned but rather there are no more events on the calendar in the same time as race weekends and that he also doesn’t tell the team what they do in their free time (not funny side note: apparently Will Buxton pointed out that the biggest mistakes and outbursts in Max’s performance so far were on race weekends where his father was in the garage and I will not be getting into that because it’s a personal thing and I find it rather distasteful to dig into it)

Alpine cosplayed Ferrari with Wolverine slash Deadpool inspired livery (and suits and helmets) in Spa

Vogue made an article about Lando rivalling Lewis for best dressed driver in F1………

also Lewis became Dior’s ambassador and host designer :))

Lando got a new Defender they were editing for him for half a year (apparently it even features a pizza oven)

Seb went into a cycling competition in Norway but used his wife’s birth last name as a kind of disguise (and finished 44th in his category)

Checo's docu series Never give up comes out today on Disney +

Grill the grid is back for the summer break

Inspiring stuff:

Ralf Schumacher came out as gay in a form of Instagram post with his partner in his arms

2024 is the first year of FIM Women’s Motorcycling World Championship since FIM was founded in 1904, there are 24 riders from 18 countries and they all have Yamaha YZF-R7

Iron Dames won 4 hours of Imola in ELMS category with Sarah Bovy, Rahel Frey and Michelle Gatting (they also got Hyperpole in 6 hours of Sao Paulo btw)

also it’s 10 years since Susie Wolff took part in F1 weekend (being the last woman to do so)

Sophia Floersch tested an F2 car and Chloe Chambers tested an F3 car to give their feedback on the accessibility of the machines and help women in the motorsport proceed into the highest categories

on 14th July Sophia Floersch also drove an F1 car at Goodwood

Lola Lovinfosse (why her…) got chosen for 2024 Lamborghini Young Driver Program

Other, because I have no category for this:

British F4 had record number of women in the race with 8 of them racing (5 of them from F1 academy)

Jamie Chadwick will test Indycar in September

Max says he had vision problems after Monza 2021 crash

[hoodoo12]

Two nights of Shakespeare--

--and two days of Alex Brightman. I'm exhausted and sore, but a long weekend full of theater and museums is worth it.

Last Wednesday I saw a production of Sh!t-Faced Shakespeare doing Much Ado About Nothing. You know, the show where the company does a Shakespeare play but one cast member is drunk. If you haven't seen one, do yourself a favor and get tickets the next time they're within drivable distance. It's always a blast.

The company changes a lot but one actor was in the last production I'd seen (Romeo and Juliet) and last week's as well. In Romeo and Juliet he was tapped to drink; at one point during the show he gave out his phone number for reasons only he understood. I memorized it and texted him afterward, much to his still drunken delight:

I went ahead and texted him after Much Ado as well, just because, lol.

Thursday we drove down to DC to catch Comedy of Errors. (shhh, I told my husband we needed to go to DC because it was a less expensive getaway since 90% of the museums are free. Oh, and I got theater tickets too. Oh, and just so you know, Alex Brightman is in the show. He gave me this look 😑 because he immediately knew I'd planned the whole thing to see Alex on stage again.)

Before we left for the theater, I emailed Alex to break a leg and that I was excited to see him. At one point in the show, he (as Dromio of Syracuse) sat in the audience two seats down from us; he'd snuck in for the scene and startled the people sitting next to him, lol

The show was great. People who say they don't like Shakespeare need to see a show and not just read the plays. Great actors make Shakespeare's comedies exactly what they're supposed to be: accessible and understandable and raucous fun. They were written for the masses and we're still masses!

Afterward we waited at the stage door. Having seen different shows in different cities, let me tell you that Broadway's stage door experience is not what other places are like. There were a total of eight people waiting. EIGHT. One group of four knew Alex; he chatted with them before he came over to me. I got a sweaty hug and he asked for one more second to talk to someone else. He came back, I got a second sweaty hug and we talked for quite a while. He said he hadn't checked his email before the show, only after, and told me, "I realized like oh shit it meant you were seeing the show tonight!" After a final sweaty hug (my husband got one too--his family is not a hugging family but mine is so he has learned to deal with it lol lol) Alex said he'd walk with us but was stopped by the final person patiently waiting.

That fan was visibly nervous and he was so kind to her. I'd seen him put people at ease with his openness and genuine interest in people before and it was showcased again in that inTstance. We waved goodbye and headed out while he talked to her.

Two days later I almost ran him over with an electric scooter, but that's a whole other thing. 😄