#this wasn’t intended to be Janus when I started

[always-anxious612]

Very messy Janus sketch :)

[skeletinmoss]

The curse of the dark Phoenix

Chapter 11: To Arms

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Virgil led Roman to what had to be the library. It was a round room with a big ceiling window, the walls lined with a ridiculous amount of books.

No memento’s or trinkets on these shelves.

Virgil had been right that his home would be in a better condition than the tower. There wasn’t any dust to be seen, and the book Virgil had called Dex was busy putting some books back in their spots.

“I was sure we’d find Logan here at the very least,” Virgil mused.

“Well, it looks like he was, at one point,” Roman pointed out.

Virgil considered that for a moment. “Star, search,” he instructed.

Roman expected the wolf to start sniffing, but instead the cosmic wolf turned into an amorphous cluster of stars and darkness, zipping around the room and then through a door. Virgil followed him, and Roman could only rush after the two. They walked through an observatorium, a sitting room, and then they found themselves back in the living room and heading outside. Where they caught them talking.

"... ask him... oh, hi Virgil!" Patton greeted.

"Hey. What are you two up to?" Virgil wondered as Stardust materialized at his side.

"Well, Logan had an idea," Patton offered.

"Yes. I was thinking that I could do to the garden what I did to the path, return it to the state it was in a past point in time. Particularly when your friend was about to break down the door, as we managed to figure out the correct date for that, or a few days later, even. See if we can track your other friend Janus as well," Logan pointed out, indicating a map he'd likely found amongst Virgil's things.

"I am aware most need a somewhat fresh trail to start with. But, if my spell is as thorough as I intend it to be, then there might be one when I'm done. At worst, you will have a lot less work to restore the garden to its former glory," Logan pointed out. Virgil nodded, feeling intrigued.

Logan lit up at getting the high mage’s approval and gestured for them to stand behind him. Roman suspected that was more so he could properly show off and less because he genuinely needed the space.

The Great Wizzard Mage sat down once again to meditate, and before Roman's eyes, weeds vanished, unkempt vegetable plants became lush and neatly organized. He saw a patch of herbs of all kinds next to a flower garden. He realized that he'd seen dried up flowers of the same species spread around the house.

Virgil mentioned that in his childhood home, there'd been the smell of flowers everywhere. So it made sense that he’d filled his house with them to make it feel like home.

"Excellent work," Virgil mused.

"Thank you. But please, save the praise for when I confirm your friends' current location," Logan insisted as he pulled out herbs that Roman could immediately tell were of the sort his friend wouldn't even have considered touching 2 days ago. Something had clearly clicked in place for Logan since inventing that spell.

"By all means," Virgil nodded, indicating Logan should continue.

Logan laid out the map, rubbed the herbs between his fingers, rubbed some on the map itself, and then made a pattern in the air, slow and steady, and pushed at the gathered magic. For a brief moment, Roman could swear he saw two silhouettes on the path towards the front door. They disappeared before he could really make sense of them though and Logan got up, studying the map with a critical frown.

"Not as precise as I had hoped, but at least we know that we are heading the right way for the temple and that your friend Janus isn't too far away," Logan mused as he handed Virgil the map. Roman glanced over Virgil’s shoulder and saw a green and yellow circle. They both covered a lot of ground. But the green one's radius included the lake. So that was a plus. The yellow one had some overlap with the green one and included large stretches of forest and four villages, possibly more depending on how old this map was.

“We know more than we did before,” Virgil agreed before turning to the group.

“I do intend to let you all look around some more and learn what you need, but I would like to provide you three with a change of clothes and some weapons first,” he offered.

“You’d be able to arm the tree of us?” Logan wondered.

Virgil smirked and walked back inside. “Come with me to the armory and we’ll find out,” he stated.

Armory?

The trio of great mages hurried after Virgil, through a door and found themselves in a large room with countless weapons of different types lining the walls.

Roman looked around in awe. His eye getting caught by a beautiful ornate sword with a golden grip and an engraved blade. “I breathe so I dream. With this blade I forge the future from the unknown.”

He knew that phrase. He’d read it in history books. “Is that a founder’s sword!?” Roman gasped in awe.

“It looks pretty, but it wasn’t ever intended for combat. Not this kind anyway,” Virgil said dismissively as he continued to walk past the racks, looking for something.

Logan had come to stand next to Roman and stared at the blade in awe, wanting but not daring to touch it. “This is a national treasure,” he breathed in shock.

Virgil stopped. “… That, makes sense. Sorry. To me it’s just sort of… The first actual sword I ever owned?” he admitted.

Roman didn’t have to check to see if his friends were as shocked as he was.

“Virgil… How old did you say you were again?” Logan wondered. Because right now Virgil’s timeline included the founding of the very kingdom almost five centuries ago.

“28, I’m pretty sure,” Virgil mused. Roman knew that Virgil wasn’t actually misinterpreting Logan’s question. He wasn’t going to answer them though. He was having way too much fun feeling how shocked Roman was every time he turned out to be older than he previously assumed. Maybe Gustav hadn’t been exaggerating that much when he mentioned a millennium in the memory.

“Are there a lot of mages who have been around as long as, or longer than, you?” Logan pressed, also guessing that Virgil wasn’t going to give him a number.

“Well… Not too many. There are two old teachers of mine that should still be around for sure. But… Sometimes high mages decide to give up immortality. For several reasons:

Because they’ve simply lost interest. As an act of defiance against a bad king, as an act of love towards someone they want to grow old and start a family with,” Virgil mused.

“But if all high mages that were around fifty years ago are in a similar situation to me, then I’d say me and my friends are among the top ten percent most experienced,” Virgil allowed.

… Roman was going to let that sink in for a bit, and Logan seemed to think something similar.

That, or he’d simply gotten distracted.

“Is this… This is the staff of the mountain wizard,” he mused as he studied the indeed striking similar design to the sketches he’d seen in his history book. The dark wooden base the tendrils of gold weaving around it and enclosing over a glass orb.

“It is,” Virgil confirmed, still bemused.

“But… Wasn’t he a badguy?” Patton asked confused.

“Exactly why I took his staff. He was abusing my niece,” he huffed. Roman could feel the hostility roll off him. He was still not over that slight. Despite putting the man in his place, Roman assumed. The mountain wizard had gone missing and no one knew what became of him.

“You had a niece?” he asked, deciding he shouldn’t focus on the implied vengeance right now.

“Many. Well. I call all the descendants from my brother and sister my niblings. I check in on them, make sure they are doing well. This particular niece admired me a lot and mister mountain wizard thought that he could easily impress her and then trap her into an abusive relationship. He was wrong,” Virgil explained off handedly.

He didn’t have any curse markings… So he hadn’t used magic… Roman looked around. What had he used though?

“In any case,” Virgil stated, picking up the staff and handing it over to Patton. “would be far better off being wielded by you,” he decided. Patton bit his lip nervously.

“The staff isn’t evil. The wizard who used it was. I think it deserves to feel what it is like to be used to protect,” Virgil stated firmly.

Patton thought for a few more moments, but then nodded and accepted the staff…

And then they all watched on in awe as the orb glowed in Patton’s signature blue with little specks of white light floating around in it, swirling playfully.

“Oh… It… It feels like children laughing…? Does that make sense?” Patton asked, completely baffled.

“It does for you. Now. For the pretty one,” Virgil mused. Roman was so impressed with how Virgil had guessed that Patton favored a staff to fight with rather than anything that could stab, that he almost missed the complement. Almost.

With a bright red face and Logan next to him now definitely aware that there was reciprocated flirting going on, he followed Virgil through the room. To the spears. Roman’s favorite along with swords.

"I think you will get along well with sky cleaver," Virgil decided, picking up a spear entirely made off black steel with engraved golden waves winding around the shaft. Right under the tip, a leather cord was wound, the loos hanging ends adorned with feathers and beads. Roman couldn't place the species of bird or the materials the beads were made off.

Feeling his curiosity, Virgil elaborated.

"My astronomy teacher discovered a shooting star and mapped its path. His calculations revealed that it would one day hit us, and the consequences of that would be unfathomable. So he made me swear to keep an eye on it and to do what was necessary to protect our world from the destruction after he was gone. So I studied and tracked and kept a close ear to the development of prophecy spells. Luckily, for a non-human event, those work a lot better since there are far less unpredictable variables. So when I knew the time was drawing near, I looked into the future to learn where and when it would strike, and I traveled across the ocean to make good on my promise. The local magic users were happy with the heads up and my help taking care of things and crafted this out of some of the remains, made it pretty with gold. The chief of the town I stayed in during this time, added these," he ran his hand past the beads and feathers. "As a symbol of their friendship. I named it Celius sky cleaver. May it strike with purpose," he offered as he held out the spear once again.

Roman very carefully accepted the weapon forged across the ocean from the remains of a shooting star.

"... Did... did you fly across the Ocean?" Logan asked, completely baffled.

"Yes. It was a Long journey and I was pretty much useless for a year after I got home," Virgil confirmed casually. He flew... across the ocean.

"That leaves us with you," Virgil pointed out. Gesturing to Logan and heading to a rack of crossbows.

Logan was immediately distracted from the fact that Virgil had traveled to unknown lands across the ocean. Rather he browsed through the options and picked up an ornately decorated crossbow. “What is this one called? It seems to be off the hand of the great crafter Similion,” Logan observed.

Virgil took the device out of his hands. “It’s called clover. Similion made it as his graduation hobby project so to speak and gifted it to me in exchange for some pointers on how to improve his next project. I had a lot of pointers,” Virgil stated, before reaching for a far smaller device and a brace.

“This, will suit you much better,” he stated.

Logan accepted the set and studied it. “I don’t recognize this sigil,” he admitted.

“That’s because she never made it big. She was a genius though, beloved by Earth. But only an apprentice when she suddenly passed away in her sleep may the Ocean carry her soul.

Her parents knew one of my pupils at the time and through him I received her finished works and blueprints. I have been looking for a promising talent who’d give her credit so she can take her rightful place in history,” Virgil stated. “This one is called Apis,” he offered, indicating the modest weapon.

Logan took all that in and nodded weightily as the weight of the story behind the weapon settled on him. He put the bracer on and attached the crossbow which glowed blue as soon as it sat secure.

“Fascinating,” he mused.

“Yeah, they all have some tricks up their sleeves should you need it,” Virgil mused as he walked on and soon retrieved a pair of twin daggers, connected to one another with a chain.

He looked at them for a long moment. Testing their weight. And eventually going through a few fighting motions. Roman could feel that just holding them put Virgil in a rather sullen mood.

Feeling his concern, or noticing that they were all looking at him worriedly, he righted himself and gave them a sad smile. “We weren’t always at peace,” he pointed out… Oh gods… How many…?

Stardust chose that moment to demand attention once more and they were all promptly distracted for a good five minutes.

“Alright, yes you are very good Star, I love you too,” Virgil smiled before getting up again along with the rest of them.

“Listen… I was an efficient fighter, but that doesn’t mean that I enjoyed doing it. I only picked these up when there was no peaceful solution,” he assured them, feeling nervous, ashamed, scared, sad…

“You were a protector,” Roman said decidedly. “Sometimes that means being a fighter,” he assured him. Virgil looked up at him, searching for truth, insisting he had blood on his hands without saying it out loud, glancing towards Patton and Logan, worrying that this would ruin the progress they had made.

Roman didn’t waver, didn’t doubt. They all had been a little afraid of him from the very start considering how powerful he was. Whether with a blade or magic, he’d always been able to overpower them. So in that sense nothing had changed.

Virgil relaxed just a little and gave him a smile, thanking him for his reassurance.

“Ahem, we are also still here. And would you even be able to use those? As stated, even if we arrive in the night, which we might not, you will likely be forced into your guide form as soon as we get close to the sunstone,” Logan stated. Virgil looked up a bit apologetic and nodded.

“Yes, but we might encounter cult members before we get that close,” he pointed out. “And I will be in human form at least for a bit of the encounter, if the crystals do their work,” he pointed out.

“Crystals?” Logan asked.

“His home is lit by moon crystals and he had some left over in stock,” Roman surmised.

“Ah,” Logan nodded in understanding.

“With all that said, I will give you a change of clothes and then we can head to the library to talk strategy before we settle in for a quick nap,” Virgil insisted.

Roman couldn't help but be a bit excited. Despite Virgil's earlier insistence of being a sensible dresser, he'd felt his pride in his work. Felt how much he enjoyed wearing something nice he put effort in to the party.

He knew Virgil had a great sense of style, not to mention wearing something Virgil made sounded exciting to him.

Virgil smiled at him and motioned for them to follow him. They passed through the room with the loom, their barely started work left untouched.

Virgil went on into another room, and they followed. This one had a little round stage, half of it surrounded by mirrors. In front of it stood a changing screen and four mannequins each prepared with a different outfit that was practical, not too loud, but obviously tailored uniquely for each of them.

"The traveling cloaks should be waiting for us at the door," Virgil stated as he collected his ensemble and headed to the changing screen first.

"They are all self-cleaning. So it won’t be as uncomfortable to travel in these," he explained as his borrowed outfit was tossed in the air and some sort of magic carried it away. Presumably to be washed.

"Much better," he mused as he appeared in a black, sleeveless tight fitting top with silver feathers embroidered along the seams of the shoulder.

It was tucked into dark pants with a silky purple sash as a belt. Roman tried not to stare too much. In his previous two outfits it hadn't shown, but Virgil was well built.

"Next," he smiled.

"These are... custom made for us," Logan observed.

"Yeah. Not by hand, though. I mean the fabric was made by me. The rest is courtesy of the house. I don't have the time to do it by hand right now," Virgil explained.

"Gosh Virgil! That's so impressive. Mine feels so soft and cozy, and I'm not even wearing it yet!" Patton gushed, playing with the sleeves of his blouse with little bunny paws along the hem.

"Hmmm." Logan mused, taking his outfit and getting changed. His outfit, too, was collected by seemingly invisible assistants.

He came out in a black undershirt and pants with a midnight blue vest. The buttons in the shape of unicorn horns. Logan was reattaching the crossbow to the brace while Patton took his turn, getting changed.

"How did you guess the exact weapons we were trained to use? I am assuming some level of weapons raining has always been mandatory, but there are a lot of options," Logan pointed out.

Virgil nodded. "You assume right... among high mages who've been around for sone time, patterns become apparent. We usually could guess which guide would unveil itself to which student. Made little bets on the ones who we weren't unanimous on. We also saw patterns in the weapon someone chose and the guide they turned out to have," Virgil explained. Patton came out and hopped on the stage to get a good look at his new shirt.

Roman, while interested in the story, didn't want to waste time and went to change as well. His pants were similar to what was made for Lo, Pat and V.

The difference was in the tunic. It reached to his knees, was a lovely red in color and golden wings embroidered on his chest similar to the decorative golden chest piece Virgil had worn when they first met. On the other side of the screen Virgil continued.

"Jackalopes are playful and rarely go for truly lethal weapons. Combined with Patton being a martial caster, and thus not afraid of direct confrontation when needed, I figured the Bo staff a good fit. Confrontational, but far less likely to cause accidental maiming.

Unicorns are for the intelligent. The strategists. So a long distance weapon is logical. Combined with the fact that you aren't built for a longbow or a short bow, a crossbow was most likely." Roman bit back a laugh. That was a polite way to say that Logan clearly had no upper body strength.

Virgil paused his story, amused at Roman's barely concealed mirth.

Roman finished changing and joined his friends. Taking a moment to admire himself in the mirrors. He felt like a noble warrior honestly, especially while holding the spear.

"The phoenix... tends to favor being up close and personal in battle. We can afford it. High mages might survive injuries but they still hurt. We aren't as incapacitated by a serious blow and as you saw, our reincarnation can be an effective weapon too," he explained. Roman could very vividly imaging Virgil forging a path through an army. Literally blazing through and leaving terribly burnt enemies in his wake. The image both beautiful and frightening in his mind. But not in a way that made him afraid of Virgil.

"Not that we know that when we choose the weapon, but phoenixes, like dragons, will tend to be at the front line. We choose weapons that are noble. That are direct. The light phoenix' bravery makes them brazen. So a sword or a spear would fit him most. I figured Roman would be the type to want a more versatile weapon. For myself I chose the daggers for their high mobility and the tight control on every swing. Less chance on friendly fire. In my mind at least..." he finished. "So. If we are all satisfied with our new clothes, I'd suggest heading to the library. In one hour we sleep," he said decidedly.

The group nodded and they followed Virgil through a door back to the library.

"Say Virgil, can I borrow this book after we do all the important things? I looked through it to see if there were any interesting creatures for me to turn into, but it only has magical creatures. It's a verry fun read though so i wanted to read more when we are less pressed for time," Patton offered gently, picking up a book from the shelve and showing it to him. Before Virgil could answer though Logan grabbed the old leather book that looked more like a journal than a proper book to Roman.

"This..." Logan gasped, flipping through a few pages with wide eyes. "Is this a, complete, handbound first draft of the beastiary of Aristofel?" he asked baffled.

"Um... yeah. We used to date..." Virgil admitted sheepishly. "He sent it to me as a thanks for my help and stuff."

Logan looked up at Virgil. "Most existing copies are damaged in some way. This is the only complete edition in existence as far as I am aware," he stated.

Virgil clearly didn’t know what to say to that.

Roman decided to step in. "Let's focus on our missions for now and then you can explore the house for more forgotten treasures whenever Virgil decides to invite you back," he suggested.

Logan nodded and gave Virgil his book back. "Yes. Apologies. I forgot myself," he said a bit embarrassed.

"That's alright, it happens. Patton if you need some inspiration for transformations into non magical creatures..." Virgil looked at his shelf and picked out a different book and handed it to Patton.

"What were you looking for Logan?" Virgil wondered.

"Ahm. I want to look into chrono magic. It is closely related to my divination and some spells I heard about might be useful in a crisis situation," he explained, nervous but determined. Who was this man and where did his extremely cautious friend go? Forbidden magic? Logan? It was a bit of a shocker even with how, bold, he’d been today.

"Hmmm..." Virgil mused before getting a deep blue book with stars on the cover. "That should help," he stated before turning to Roman.

"And now you..." he stated. Roman nodded and followed him to settle on a carpet on the floor.

"I suppose I should learn some basic martial crafts," Roman mused.

"Didn't you say that you wanted to learn more about herbology the way I taught it?" Virgil wondered. Roman nodded. "Of course, but the fight..."

Roman stopped talking as he felt Virgil's fond amusement, though there was an undertone of frustration. Oh. The holes in his education were showing once again.

"Did they teach you that all you could do was identify herbs and minerals and heal?" Virgil wondered. Roman nodded, waiting to be corrected. Virgil reached into his pouch and retrieved a yellow dusty substance. Pollen. Roman knew instantly.

And then from his hand a gorgeous fire Lilly grew, which Virgil gently tucked behind Roman’s ear.

"Roman, the spell Patton did to trap those wolves. What kind of magic did you think that was?" Virgil asked.

"I-I thought Wild keep magic but I’m guessing that's wrong," Roman concluded. Virgil nodded.

“It was herbology. We do more than just identify the gifts of nature Roman. We connect to them. When you held that stone, you weren’t divining it the way Logan would. You connected to it, heard it’s entire story, and that happened to include what it was used for. How it was used,” Virgil explained.

“Through that connection you also returned the fields to a healthy state, making undeveloped seeds catch up to their neighbors and the sick plants heal in only a moment.

Wild keepers can commune and command the plants that are living. We…” He made a flourish with his hand and laid a dried out lavender stem in Roman’s hand.

“We can call upon them even if they are long gone. They are our ally as much as we are theirs,” he insisted. “So long as we treat the plants and minerals around us with love and respect, there is no telling what favors we might yet learn they would do for us,” he added. Letting a long silence fall.

Roman could tell he was expecting him to do something, anything with the stem.

Could he revive it? Roman closed his eyes and focused. Willing his magic into the plant the way he would when he would try to draw out its mana, but this time he didn’t make it stream out and take energy with it. He strengthened the mana, connected to the plant’s innate wish to live…

He opened his eyes when he felt Virgil’s pride swell.

In his palm was a perfectly healthy lavender stem. He looked up, proud of himself and tucked the lavender behind Virgil’s ear.

“Good,” Virgil smiled, touched by the gesture. “Now, let’s teach you to be a force of nature.”

[therealemaskye]

it is desperately missing sanders sides hours (which is pretty much every hour for me) and i just rewatched my favorite sanders sides related video to date: “flirting with anxiety.” i have so many thoughts on this episode i thought i’d throw them out into the void that is tumblr. here is my unorganized list:

• the first thing that comes to mind when rewatching this episode is just how much roman and virgil have grown together. as a comparison, let’s use the only other video they had with each other. in “the dark side of disney,” roman was annoyed at virgil simply being there. he was in disbelief that virgil could even be a fan of something like disney. to quote roman, “disney movies are the embodiment of goodness and purity; something you would know nothing about.” throughout “flirting with anxiety,” just by the body language you can tell how comfortable the two are with each other. they bounce off of each other with ease, and make up a pretty entertaining matchmaking team, which is something roman once thought virgil couldn’t understand: love. both episodes are almost similar, though, in that both roman and virgil bring different sides to the table (pun not entirely intended). in “the dark side of disney,” roman and virgil discuss the different messages they see in disney movies; in “flirting with anxiety,” the two have very different approaches when it comes to flirting. their differences, which once made them argue with each other, now made them a team.

• as well as having their differences, we also see how much they have in common. when you think about it, there’s a lot; more specifically in what they like. bringing this back to “the dark side of disney,” it feels like they’ve come full circle from where they started, back when they discovered they could even have the same interests at all. the stickers on nico’s laptop stood out to me as sort of easter eggs to these kinds of moments in the past: the disney sticker (the dark side of disney), the paramore sticker (roman must have called virgil a nickname related to this somehow; also, emo music is a perfect combination), and the nightmare before christmas sticker (accepting anxiety: “you can’t have my sick nasty tim burton posters!”).

• this next note is the whole reason i wanted to make this post really: thomas’ monologue in the bathroom. on the surface of “flirting with anxiety,” there are no telling references to what had happened previously in the canon timeline: “putting others first.” this asides episode was sort of a breath of fresh air after the messy cliffhanger in the main series. now, i don’t know if this was intentional or not — but looking closer, this entire scene is full of insight into what roman specifically is feeling after the events of svs redux. let’s break it down:

1.) “look, i know this is awkward… and maybe not the best place to strike up a conversation. …i don’t really know what to say to you; i honestly don’t know what i’m doing at the mall today. i don’t know what i was looking for… i guess that answers my question: the mall is where you go if you want something, but you don’t know what it is because the mall has everything, right?” at the end of this quote, the frame shows roman looking in the mirror with an almost painful expression. he seems to realize how close those words hit to home: roman is lost. after everything that happened, roman has to be feeling like his world has turned upside down. he is unconsciously avoiding the issue by making thomas feel like he has to go to the mall. roman is the part of thomas that doesn’t know what he’s looking for.

2.) “i don’t know… ugh, i don’t know a lot about anything… least of all myself. …and i feel that the hardest when it comes to… knowing what i want.” once again, the frame is a cut to roman. it is such a punch to the gut, because this is exactly what caused the whole mess in the first place. think about it — who was the most torn on the wedding or the callback? it wasn’t patton or janus, logan or virgil: roman didn’t know what he wanted. roman has clearly followed patton’s lead since the beginning; he wanted to be the pure and good prince that he was, and patton was just that to him — pure and good. yet, he would do anything to achieve his dreams — thomas’ dreams. that included ditching a friend’s wedding, and friendship is something that roman holds as dear to his heart as patton does. roman was by far the most torn of all sides about this decision; that’s why it was so impactful that roman was the one to decide to go to the wedding. from the get go you could tell he didn’t want to, but at his core, he is a fundamentally good person; someone who is righteous for righteousness’ sake. this is a value that stems directly from his admiration for patton: so you can imagine how blindsided he was when patton had a change of heart in svs redux. to roman, this huge, personal sacrifice he made was for naught.

3.) “but i know that… i want to take a chance… and talk to you. i have to, because… i don’t know when i’m going to know what i want again… and i know that if i don’t act on these feelings right now, i’m… going to regret it.” the one thing roman is so sure that he wants, and always has wanted.. is love. there’s the placement of the panels again; when thomas says, “i don’t know when i’m going to know what i want again,” the panel has roman in frame. it’s almost as if that is what roman himself is thinking — finally, he has a chance to get something he knows he wants, and it isn’t out of reach. but then after that, when thomas says, “and i know that if i don’t act on these feelings right now, i’m… going to regret it,” it is virgil in frame the entire time. virgil’s feelings on the whole svs redux matter are entirely up to fan interpretation — he wasn’t present at all. i at least can provide evidence as to what i think he is feeling with this frame — virgil knows how much roman regrets going to that wedding. as we know, virgil fervently sided with patton in “selfishness v. selflessness.” now, i don’t think it’s because he truly believes it to be the right decision; he’s anxiety. he was the part of thomas that irrationally worried that if he didn’t show up to his friends’ wedding, thomas would lose them forever. plus, virgil is a follower, not a leader; he states as such in “fitting in.” before, as a dark side, he followed janus; now, he has latched on to someone else: patton. to him, not agreeing with patton meant agreeing with janus; you can imagine his feelings on that. so, maybe virgil regrets his own stance on the case — moral of the story, virgil is tired of regrets. he knows how horrible they are first hand, being anxiety and all; and i like to think he’d rather not put roman through that any more if he can help it. at this moment, virgil knows he has to do something to make this thing happen — which later turns out to be virgil taking that leap of faith, and pushing thomas back to nico.

• don’t worry, i’m going to touch on where i just left off; but, i’d like to bring up another note that made me want to do this. it is honestly very hard not to notice that throughout the entire episode, roman and virgil never fail to bring one thing up: lies. they scold thomas for lying and even call him a liar multiple times. when they exit the bathroom, the both of them are adamant that if they are to go forward, the basis of a potential relationship cannot be deceit. it is so obvious that roman and virgil are the two sides who hold the most disdain for janus; janus is a reminder of what they have failed to do. for virgil, janus was a part of his life that he regrets because of how he mistreated thomas and the group. for roman, he wanted exactly what janus wanted as well: to go to the callback. janus proved that thomas could’ve and should’ve gone to the callback, something that roman wasn’t able to do.

• before going into the most prinxiety part of this post, i’d lastly like to expand on nico’s song idea: “i think i like the idea of someone’s life, or an aspect of of their life feeling like… a trash bin. and the waste keeps piling up… and piling up… until it inevitably… spills out into the rest of their life.” funnily enough, nico apologizes if it hit to close to home, and thomas adds that it’s true: his life is full of wasted opportunities. this once again feels like a reference to the callback. the entire explanation, though, feels like foreshadowing to the future of sanders sides. as i’ve discussed, there is clearly a divide among the sides; the biggest one they’ve ever had. yet, there lacks a resolution to the issue at the moment. it seems that all of it will continue to pile up until the repression of their glaring problem spills out into thomas’ life.

• i’d argue this is the most important scene in this episode: virgil pushing thomas. the look of dejection on roman’s face as nico walks away is a reminder that virgil is indeed tired of regrets. at that moment, i don’t think there was a single other reason why he did what he did than virgil’s desperate need to see roman happy again. whether you ship it or not, it is clear how much these two care for each other, especially in their last interaction. virgil is constantly surprising roman — i like to think that’s why he started to like him so much. the moment that virgil pushed thomas was probably one of the most surprising things roman has ever seen from him, though. a very, very wonderful surprise. you can just tell how much admiration roman has after virgil has done this just by the one word he uses: bravery. let’s take this back to “fitting in.” roman is very clearly protective of his house and its noble traits, and bravery is one of the most important ones of all for a gryffindor. bravery is what roman is all about; when roman calls virgil brave, it is one of the biggest compliments he could give someone. then you can just feel it in your bones the warm affection behind “shut up, emo,” and its subsequent shoulder touch. it showcases, once again, a huge contrast in how they use to behave with one another — there is so much fondness and respect that wasn’t there before. this is honestly one of (if not the most) heartfelt scene in the series.

and that is all! if you got all the way through my terribly long rambling, thank you for listening! this show means so much to me and i miss it so much thomas pls drop the next episode challenge (but also no pressure). if you couldn’t tell i’m a roman stan. okay byyye.

[naminethewriter]

Change Is Scary

Two days late but here is the last story for @intrulogicalweek this year! Once again, it was lots of fun and I am amazed that I am still not tired of these dorks 🤭 Anyway, I couldn't help myself and again sneacked in some Intruloceit, though Janus doesn't make an actual appearance. If you want more context for this story, read Sk8er Boi which I wrote for last years Dukeceit Week! It's a prequel to this but not a necessary read to understand this one. Hope you enjoy! 💙💚

Masterpost | Intrulogical Week 23 Masterpost | Ao3

Summary: Remus loves Logan. He's falling in love with Janus. He hopes Logan will give him a chance, too.

Content Warnings: None!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey Lo, I’m home!” Remus called as he closed the door to their apartment behind him.

“Welcome back!” his boyfriend answered from what was most likely the living room. Remus quickly took off his combat boots and leather jacket before hurrying to find him. He was indeed in the living room, typing something on his laptop. Remus came to a stop in front of him, bouncing on his feet quietly as he waited for Logan’s signal that he was done.

His boyfriend made an audible click on something, let his eyes dance across the screen once more and then nodded. With a grin, Remus plugged the laptop off his lap and put it on the coffee table before taking its place.

“Hello darling, did you miss me?” he purred as he straddled Logan’s lap.

“I did, Cephy,” his boyfriend chuckled. “I hope you had an enjoyable day.”

“I did! I did! It was very fun, we—”

“Before you start telling me about it – and I do want to hear it,” Logan softly interrupted him, “I have some news for you.”

Remus’ interest was immediately piqued. “What?!” He leaned closer, their noses almost touching.

“The first recording of your new album arrived today.”

With a delighted screech, Remus sprung up and clapped his hands. “Play it, play it, play it!”

“I thought you might say that,” Logan chuckled and grabbed a remote that sat next to him. With one button press, their stereo started playing the newest song of Remus’ rock band and with an excited wiggle, Logan was pulled up and into Remus’ arms.

“Let’s dance!”

They twirled around their living room, Remus holding Logan close to his chest and humming along to the melody. The dance didn’t fit with the music, but Logan was used to that. When Remus got excited, he liked to hold his loved ones close and his usual dance moves didn’t allow for that, so instead he just hugged Logan close and spun around a bit.

It was a tradition at this point with every new bit of music they produced.

“It’s a good album, Cephy. You outdid yourself again,” Logan praised, and Remus kissed him enthusiastically.

“Wasn’t just me! You and Virgil and Pat and Ro all did a lot, too!”

“Of course.”

For a moment they just enjoyed the music until Remus’ initial burst of energy dissipated a bit. He still held Logan close and swayed along to the rhythm but stopped with the spinning. Logan was grateful, he was starting to get dizzy.

“I’d love to hear about your day now,” he reminded, smiling up at Remus, whose expression brightened.

“Oh, it was great! Jannie and I had lots of fun chugging the golf balls as far as possible!”

“Aren’t the courses in a mini golf park rather, well, small? I cannot imagine you had to shoot them all that far.”

“We didn’t!”

With a fond sigh, Logan dropped the topic. He should have known that Remus wouldn’t play the game as intended.

“As long as you didn’t hurt anyone, I guess that is fine, too.”

“We didn’t hit anyone. The owner wasn’t all too pleased with us though,” Remus giggled.

“I can imagine.”

“Jannie said he enjoyed himself though. He also asked about you, you know.”

Logan stiffened slightly in Remus’ arms. “Did he now?”

Remus stopped their dance entirely and grabbed the remote to turn the music down, though he kept his boyfriend close.

“He did. He’d really like to get to know you, too.”

“I know. I would like that as well.”

“But?”

Oh, Remus knew him too well. Nervously, Logan fiddled with Remus’ shirt, keeping his head low to avoid eye contact.

“But I still feel like it’s too early, don’t you? I mean, you just started going out, maybe we should wait to see if—”

Remus squeezed his shoulder to stop his rambling.

“I don’t think that’s actually your issue, is it, Lo Lo? Me and Janus is our thing, you don’t have to worry about us. And there’s nothing to worry about to begin with, we’re great. I really like him, and he likes me, too. And I’m sure you would like him as well if you gave him a chance.”

“I want to give him a chance. It’s just that I…” He trailed off but Remus didn’t push him. He knew that Logan sometimes needed to gather his thoughts before speaking. “I am worried. I know we both agreed that we are open to multiple partners and I am not taking that back. I love you and I am happy that Janus makes you happy as well. I… I am simple worried about managing two relationships at once, I have never done so before.”

“And that’s a valid thing to worry about,” Remus nodded. “It’s not gonna be easy, I mean, our relationship took a while to work out, too. But I’m here for you. And Jannie will understand it, too. I don’t want to share more than I should, but you know he’s trans and grew up in a rather conservative household. He understands how scary change can be and that some stuff will take time to figure out. None of us can expect this to go perfectly, so don’t think about it too much.”

“I know. I’m trying.”

“And I’m very proud of you for that.” Remus pressed a kiss into Logan’s hair. “If you need more time, I won’t push you. But maybe consider letting me invite him for tea or something? It doesn’t have to be anything big; it doesn’t even have to be a date. Just a conversation to start with, okay?”

Logan took a deep breath.

A conversation.

Yeah, he could do that.

“Yes. I’ll try and find something I am comfortable including him in.”

“Thank you, starlight.” Remus hugged him closer, nuzzling him contently. “I love you.” “I love you too, Cephy.”

[edupunkn00b]

The Uses of Adversity, Ch. 13: Two Days Later

Prev - Two Days Later - Next - Masterpost - [ AO3 ]

Two weeks and two days later is Star Wars Day, May the Fourth. Logan's Birthday. Guaranteed to be a day to remember.

When we, spoke we, knew it wasn't over When I, spoke I, know it tortured us both Two days later, two days later and calm - Two Days Later, by Fink

Logan’s very obvious panic attack seemed to have awoken some sort of friendly protectiveness in Roman and he’d reached out every day since it had happened. Even during his week-long trip back to London, Roman hadn't let a day go by without reaching out in some way.

Typically, it was simple texts in the morning, Logan's morning. But sometimes, well after dinner but before Logan was asleep, Roman would call, as well. Logan knew it wasn’t necessary, he was fine but… he found it impossible to force himself to discourage the calls and messages. He was now more sure than ever that his earlier musings on what Roman might have been about to say that lovely evening was nothing like he’d thought. Hoped for? Still, Logan couldn't help but look forward to starting his day with their little chats over his morning coffee.

Good morning, Lo! May the Fourth be with you!

Setting down his mug, Logan chuckled and typed back.

And also with you. 🌟 

He paused for a moment, thumb hovering over the send button. Finally, he quickly tapped out another line and sent the message before he could think too much about it.

Do you have any plans tonight? Virgil and Remy came down and we’re going to have a Star Wars Marathon. We’d love it if you joined us.

Three little bubbles popped on the screen for a long time and Logan took a slow draw of his coffee, bracing himself for a thoughtful, gentle rejection. He shook his head, frowning at his own thoughts. It wouldn’t be a rejection, he’d simply asked a friend to join him and his sons for a movie night. It wasn’t a… a date.

I’m sorry, I have plans. Maybe next time? 🤞

The phone didn’t at all tremble in his hands as he tapped out a response. He merely typed too quickly to hold it steady.

Yes, of course. I did not intend to put you on the spot. Another time would be wonderful.

Logan waited, sipping his coffee, but though his message flipped to ‘read’ immediately, Roman didn’t respond. The cold certainty that he’d made a mistake crackled, blooming in his belly and growing through his chest with each tick of the kitchen clock. Stupid, stupid, stupid. You don’t invite people to a social gathering the morning of. Let alone on a Friday night! What, you seriously thought Roman Prince didn't have a date and would just be sitting at home waiting for you to—  Logan took a deep, shaky breath and slowly let it out. He would do better. Roman was forgiving. Desperate not to end their conversation on such an awkward note, he finally tapped out another message.

I hope you have a great day!

He locked the screen to stop himself from staring and waiting for a response that wasn’t coming. Slow steps shuffled down the stairs and he shoved the phone into his pocket and refilled his coffee. Remy entered the kitchen, still in pajamas and tapping at his own phone. He and Virgil had gotten in late last night and it looked like he’d had trouble falling asleep after the adrenaline of a long drive. “Good morning, Remy,” he called and Remy stood still, thumbs bouncing against his phone. “Would you like some coffee?” Finally, he stopped and looked at him.

“Morning, Dad! Happy Birthday!” He pocketed his phone and nodded before hugging him. “Yes, please! I'll always say yes to coffee!”

~~~

At the sound of footsteps down the carpeted hall, Janus frowned at the clock, then looked up from his desk. He should have had at least another hour before the office grew to its usual frenzied pace, starting the never-ending stream of people at his door. His frown softened when he caught sight of carefully polished shoes and razor-sharp creased pants.

“Logan?” Said shoes froze mid-stride outside his office door and Logan turned to face him. “Would you come in here, please?” 

“Oh, J—Janus,” he sputtered, clutching a thick redwell of case files close to his chest. “I—I did—didn’t realize you were in yet.” He adjusted his glasses. “I—I mean, n—not to say—”

“It’s alright, Logan.” Janus attempted a smile. The man’s nervousness was contagious and recent… developments had left Janus doubting his assumptions about him. “It’s safe to admit your observation that I’m typically not the first one in the office each day. Leadership has its privileges, after all,” he deadpanned. Logan didn't crack a smile.

Janus gestured toward the chairs across from his desk. “Please, Logan, sit down.”

Nodding once, Logan stepped inside, spine straight and face carefully masked with his all-too-familiar ‘approach the bench’ expression. “At ease, Logan,” he said, closing the folder in front of him and steepling his hands as he sat back in his chair. He waited until Logan sat down, hands folded primly over the casefiles in his lap.

“You are correct that I’m breaking character a bit here,” Janus began. “Devin’s recent… behavior—”

“You mean assault?” Logan raised an eyebrow, still sitting arrow-straight even as he frowned back at his boss. 

Janus fought a smile. There’s the lawyer. He nodded, “Devin’s assault showed me I have had a few blindspots around here.” Janus fucking hated admitting he was wrong but he had to concede to himself, if no-one else, that Logan had tried to warn him, had advised him to pay more attention to Devin’s actions.

After everything he’d learned, fucker had been right to take the deal.

Licking dry lips, Janus fished around in his pockets for mints and reached for his water. He rapped his fingers against the bottle, relishing the cold burn of the water and peppermint down his throat. It wasn’t what he really wanted. But it helped.

“I’ve spent the past three months reviewing everyone’s caseload and docket history.”

“Everyone’s cases?” Logan asked. His expression didn’t change but his eyes jumped down to the stack of files on Janus' desk.

“Everyone’s,” he confirmed. “Both for paying clients and pro bono cases.” Janus frowned. The deafening silence pouring in from Devin’s empty office on his left and Marge’s empty office on the right had grown distracting over the weeks and months since he’d introduced Roman and Devin, ever since his former best friend had revealed just how slimy he really was. Their emptied offices were a constant reminder of how easy it had been to let ‘just a little’ favoritism snowball into blinding him to their poor performance, as well. 

Logan’s eyes followed his gaze but he didn’t ask for details on his former colleagues' sudden—and vocal—departures. He’d been the only one in the office who hadn’t. He’d just kept his head down and picked up more than his fair share of their abandoned cases. “The rumors are true,” Janus confirmed. “I’ve let several people go.”

He waited, but Logan only nodded, still listening. Janus sighed. He almost wished he’d smirk, say ‘I told you so,’ dance on their graves, anything… human. He just sat there like the fucking robot Devin—

Janus blew out a sharp breath, stamping out the thought before it could fully bloom. “When I was reviewing your docket, I came across the old petition records of that anti-equality initiative.” Logan nodded, brow furrowed. “A name leapt off the page.” He blinked again, lips twitching at the corners like he was forcing himself not to speak. They both knew Logan knew exactly which name he was referring to. “Your old last name,” he finally said. Janus crossed his arms, a flash of his original anger seeping out.

He’d been fucking livid when he’d spotted Kelly Jessica Croft signed in big, looping letters on the first page of the signature list. Fortunately, he’d been alone in the office, so no-one had overheard when he’d called his husband to complain.

“I can’t fucking believe it!” He’d paced the office, Remus on speaker phone so he wouldn’t shout into his ear. “I just can’t fucking believe it! This motherfucker simps and nods, all respectful with his fucking creased pants and he turned around and had his own wife run a goddamned petition against the law! Our law!”

Remus didn’t speak, and the only sound coming over the phone was the ratatatat of his brushes beating against the side of his easel.

“I can’t figure out what his angle was. Why fight his own fucking law? He wrote the damn thing! Was it the money?” Fuck knows they’d all had to pull overtime when the Save Our Families initiative had gathered enough signatures to be taken seriously. Ultimately they’d prevailed, but…

“It just doesn’t make any sense. He’s named as the primary author of the legislation. He didn’t need to fuck around. If he’d wanted more money, more attention, a better office, he could just write his own goddamn check! There were firms across the country battering down the door to meet with him. He didn’t need to do this he—Oh!” Janus' voice dropped to a whisper. “Oh, fuck.”

He stopped pacing, both hands coming up to his temples. Yep, that was a migraine coming on. He fumbled in his pocket and popped three Altoids into his mouth and crunched hard. “You don’t think he was feeding information to the Eyman group, do you?”

“Okay, Jannie,” Remus finally said, and the little shk shk of his mustache brushing against the mouthpiece yanked Janus’ attention back to the present. “Take a breath. Let’s think this through, together, okay?”

He waited, probably with that infuriatingly adorable smirk, until Janus took three slow breaths.

“Okay. When the law passed, he coulda strut around that office, right? Gotten any new title he wanted and just rode those laurels until it was time to retire, couldn’t he?” Remus’ voice was low and quiet, and Janus deflated, sinking down into an armchair near the window. He nodded silently and Remus continued as if he saw him.

“But he didn’t do any of that, did he?”

Janus sighed. “No,” he said, still frowning.

“What did he do?”

Scoffing, Janus got up and checked the 2012 docket list. “After the initiative was struck down, he requested three new pro bono D.V. cases, claiming with Marriage Equality complete, he had time to pick up ‘his slack.’” He swallowed against the sour taste in his throat and popped another handful of peppermints into his mouth. 

“Jannie,” Remus cooed. He felt like he was the one being cross-examined, the noose slowly tightening.

He sat back in his chair, eyes falling shut. “What, Muse?” The throbbing in his head slowly eased.

“So his wife’s name—now ex-wife’s name—was on the petition…”

“Her name’s on the fucking presentation page." He sat up again, rage energizing him. "She had to be one of the organizers. The whole thing was probably bankrolled with his Q-Law salary!” Janus sat up, stabbing a finger down the hall toward Logan’s office. “He probably signed it, too!”

“And how long did you spend pouring over the old paper documents searching for his name before you gave up?”

“Two—”

He could practically hear his husband’s eyebrow raise over the phone. 

“Two and three quarter hours,” Janus murmured.

“And had he signed it?”

“No. But I might’ve missed something.”

“Jannie…” Remus purred and Janus leaned back against his chair, arms crossed in front of his chest. He knew he looked like a petulant child but he was too angry to give a fuck. “So, if all signs are pointing to him not signing the damn thing, and when he could, he didn’t take an easy opportunity to gain fame and wealth and, frankly, a fucking target on his back…” Silence poured over the phone line. 

“So why didn’t he?” Remus asked, gentler than he probably deserved.

Janus picked up the file. He’d spent hours re-reading Logan’s case notes, checking the filings… there was nothing suspicious save for his fucking wife’s name on the petition. Had Logan had some grand scheme? Had Janus somehow stopped him from taking the next steps in whatever the fuck he was trying to accomplish here? Or was Logan completely incompetent and couldn’t recognize when to strike?

“Maybe it's the other way around.” Remus’ voice cut through his wandering thoughts.

“What do you mean, ‘other way?’”

“So this guy used to be married to some Karen—”

“Kelly,” Janus smirked.

“Even better,” Remus cackled, the unexpected sound pulling a chuckle from Janus, as well. “So he’s married to this bitch Kelly who runs a campaign against her own husband’s work…” Janus dumped the last of his mints in his palm and popped them into his mouth. “The same ex-wife who watched over him like a fucking warden at the Q-Law parties, right?”

“The few he’d bothered to attend,” Janus had muttered. Something itched at the back of his mind but he couldn’t quite scratch it.

“Maybe ask him about it before you accuse him of legal espionage, huh?”

It had taken Janus three days to calm down enough to decide what to do. And another three days to call him in to discuss it. He hadn't been delaying the conversation, he’d… he’d just had a very busy calendar.

Finally sitting across from Logan in his office, he watched the man's guarded eyes, the way they bounced back and forth from the case files and his face. Anxiety sizzled through every movement. Worry. Maybe even a little fear in there.

But no guilt.

“What can you tell me about this?” he asked, setting down the file, open to his ex-wife’s signature. Janus spun it around so he could read. “You were still married when she signed this.” Logan touched her signature and for one sickening moment, Janus thought he might cry. “Did you sign it, too?”

“No, of course not!” Logan looked up at him, mouth hanging open in shock. It only lasted a second and was quickly papered over with a more controlled expression. “Janus, I—” He sat up a little straighter, lips pressed together into a thin, shaky line. “D—did you c—call me in here to fire me, as well?”

“Should I have?” Janus challenged, leaning over his desk and staring into Logan’s eyes.

Logan gripped the case files in his lap before straightening his glasses. “If you can’t trust me enough to believe I wouldn’t sabotage my own work, then perhaps you should.”

Balls of fucking steel. The wobble in his chin and the wetness he couldn’t really hide behind his glasses told Janus he was probably going to go cry as soon as he left the office, but that still didn’t stop the guy from standing up to him.

Janus nodded once. “Actually, I called you in here to offer you the office next to mine,” he looked pointedly at the wall to his right.

“Wh—what?” He almost dropped the files as he scooted closer in his chair. “But tha—that’s the office for the Assistant Attorney in Charge.”

Unflappable my ass. “Exactly.” Janus couldn’t hold back a little smirk. “You want it?”

~~~

The office slowly came to life around them as they discussed—negotiated—Logan’s new salary and a 30-60-90-day plan. Janus listened when he leapt up and taped sheets of legal paper to the wall, sketching out a plan to coordinate with firms across the country to battle the flurry of anti-trans and anti-LGBTQ laws popcorning up in even moderately purple regions. Janus laughed when Logan grabbed a highlighter from his desk without asking, but quickly sobered when he drew lines between them, noting which states were also in the middle of proposing bans on no-fault divorce and obliterating reproductive rights. It wasn’t something they’d been watching very closely at the firm, but the commonalities revealed a chilling strategy.

Again, there was that little itch at the back of Janus’ mind but he shook it away.

“Draft this up,” he nodded, clapping Logan on the shoulder. “Let’s see if it has wings.”

“Thank you, Janus,” Logan smiled. It was small, and shaky and didn’t quite wipe out the worry in his eyes every time he looked over the boxes and arrows he’d mapped out, but it wasn’t that papier mâché grimace of his, either.

Beatrice chose that moment to slip into the office, towering over both of them. “Oh, good, Logan, you’re in here. You have a flower delivery at reception.”

“Oh?” he blinked. Janus could’ve sworn he was blushing as he followed her out to the lobby. 

“Go, on,” Janus nodded. “It’s time for a coffee break, anyway. C’mon," he said, grabbing his blazer from behind the door. "My treat.”

“Yes, silly,” Beatrice patted Logan’s cheek as he passed. “Why didn’t you tell us it’s your birthday?”

Plastering on a grin, Janus crossed his arms and tried not to think about how, just a couple hours ago, he’d let Logan think he’d been about to fire him on his fucking birthday.

A delivery guy stood in front of Beatrice’s desk, arm wrapped around a giant vase filled with pansies and baby breath. An enormous heart-shaped balloon emblazoned with ‘Happy Birthday, Logan’ floated above it. He held a beat-up clipboard in his other arm. Yeah, Logan was definitely blushing.

“Are you Logan Sanders?” the delivery guy asked, holding out the flowers.

“Yes,” he smiled, accepting the bouquet.

“Sign here, please,” he said, watching as Logan signed. He took back the clipboard and left a manila folder in his hand. “You’ve been served.”

Logan looked up at him, brow furrowed in confusion as he held a bouquet in one hand and a thick envelope in the other. “It’s really your birthday?” the guy asked, a twinge of guilt passing over his features. Logan nodded silently and turned over the envelope. He paled at the name of the firm on the front. “Sorry, man,” he shrugged and hurried down the stairs. He didn’t bother to wait for the elevator.

Beatrice nudged Janus forward with a pointed look, then moved down the hall, shooing away the little knot of interns who’d heard the word ‘birthday’ and had gathered to watch. Janus held out his hands. “Would you like me to take those?” he asked, leaving open which he’d prefer Janus held for him.

Logan nodded and passed him the flowers. “Is there a card?” he asked without looking up from the envelope. Hands shaking, he tore off the sealed tab and pulled out a blue-backed petition.

Janus found the card and turned it around to read. A little growl bubbled up from the back of his throat and Logan looked up at him.

“What does it say?” he asked, defeated.

“Happy Birthday,” Janus answered, only half-lying.

Apparently Logan’s bullshit detector was just as finely tuned as his and he reached for the card to read it for himself. “Happy Birthday. Pansy.”

Gritting his teeth, he shoved the card into the envelope and took the flowers, dropping the bouquet of pink and yellow pansies into the trash.

“I think I could use that coffee, Janus, if you’re still offering,” he said, jaw set despite his shaking hands.

“You bet your ass I am.”

~~~

Together, Logan and Janus read through Kelly’s petition to the court. His boss’ muttered curses grew louder with each page.

“What fucking century does she think this is?” he finally spat, shaking his head and signaling a server for another refill. “Dammit, Logan, this is…”

“I have to fight this,” Logan whispered, staring at her proposed parenting plan. Full custody of Patton with no requirement to stay within the school district or even within the state. Monthly, supervised visitation with Logan. A continued residential requirement attached to any future college payments for any of the boys after they turned eighteen.

“Of course you have to fight this,” Janus insisted, looking up from where he jotted notes in the margin. “Fuck that, we have to fight this.” Logan stared at him, the blend of shock and hope on his face twisting uncomfortably in Janus' gut. “Hey, I thought you were smart," he said, trying to deflect. "A man who represents himself is a fool.”

"A man who is his own lawyer has a fool for a client," he corrected automatically, the barest hint of a smile softening his face. “Are you seriously offering to represent me in this? It’s… it’s a personal matter.”

Janus shrugged and smiled over his coffee. “You can get me back when Remus sues me for custody of our lemurs.”

“You have pet lemurs?”

“That’s the part you find unbelievable, Sanders?”

Logan bit back a chuckle and, by the look in Janus’ eyes, that had been the point. “I have zero doubts about the longevity of you and your husband’s relationship,” he bowed his head, clinking their newly refilled coffees together. “I… I appreciate your help. I…” He blew out a sharp breath and straightened his eyeglasses, an embarrassing lump growing in his throat. “I—I don’t know what I’d do if she took my boys from me.”

Janus clinked back and smiled. “You won’t ever have to find out.” 

After drafting their plan of attack, Logan crossed out the section marked The respondent forfeits his or her right to contest and signed the petition with a flourish. Janus would first enter himself as attorney of record representing him in the proceedings, file a stay, and then submit a claim for discovery. “That’ll take a while, so in the meantime, I’ll need to deposition you. I need all the facts.”

Nodding, Logan looked away. “Yes, of course.”

Janus patted his hand. “Attorney client privilege will be in effect. I won’t share what you tell me with anyone you don’t wish.”

“Of—of course, Janus. I trust you and your integrity. I…” Janus seemed to misunderstand his hesitation and gripped his shoulder.

“I think you’ve probably had enough for one day, let alone your birthday. Take the afternoon off.” Logan opened his mouth to protest but Janus was quicker. “I insist. I’ll draft the papers and we’ll start the deposition… is Monday too soon?”

“Monday would be good,” Logan nodded. Get it over with.

“Monday, then,” he smiled. “Now, I will take all of this back to the office.” Janus picked up his case files, their notes, and the petition from Kelly’s attorney. “You will go home and enjoy your birthday.”

—-

Taglist: @crossiantgay

Ask and ye shall be added

[flxchxrs]

{ cis man, he/him } ❝ when a thief kisses you, count your teeth.❞ huh, who’s keita machida? no, you’re mistaken, that’s actually kaen flecher. he is a 31 year old half-blood wizard who is a clerk at the junk shop. he is a slytherin alum and the biological child of mundungus fletcher & miyake shun (non-canon). he is known for being larcenous, blinkered, and disingenuous but also unabashed, tenacious, and charming, so that must be why he always reminds me of the song take what you want by post malone and forearms lent across the bar with an order for firewhisky, nabbing the full bottle once their back is turned, the rise of cigarette smoke just before it falls away with the wind, & an old familial ring weighing heaviest on stealthy hands. i hear he is aligned with no one, so be sure to keep an eye on him.

tw: family issues, parent death, death mention, abandonment, prison

full name: kaen janus fletcher

date of birth: november 19th

star sign: scorpio

place of birth: liverpool, england

family: mundungus fletcher (father), miyake shun (mother)

sexual orientation: unlabeled, uncertain, unconstrained

religion: agnostic

tattoos: dueling rabbits on either thigh, a line from the back of his skull down to his waistband, “whatever forever” on his left shin, a very mediocre wizard on his right tricep, a double-headed rat on his left bicep, "you lose more by not trying than by trying" at the crook of his left elbow, a kintsugi tattoo along his left side, "if you grow up you'll die" above his right thigh, a snake along his right shoulder and bicep, a scorpion on the back of his left hand, and lines on his right ear.

style: hawaiian-esque patterned buttons-ups, checked trousers, dark-washed denim, black leather belts, silver chains hung from belt loops, basics often in cooled tones, a dark wool trench hand-me-downed, a multitude of rings, all black converse, corduroy shirts hung open like jackets, plain white vests, coats with a fleece trim, and tendency for anything with pockets.

forearms lent across the bar with an order for firewhisky, nabbing the full bottle once their back is turned, unopened letters cluttering a bedside drawer, discreet glances over your shoulder, fingertips ghosting across items on a shelf, a pocket gone heavy, the rise of cigarette smoke just before it falls away with the wind, a family name fives steps ahead, lips tugged tight into a smirk, ink telling stories that words won't, a black cat brushing against your leg, a rose snipped from the neighbor's garden, & an old familial ring weighing heaviest on stealthy hands

kaen was not the child of school romance or grown-up planning. he was something created from lust. mundungus fletcher and miyake shun were never supposed to be anything beyond that one night of passion... but... nevertheless, kaen entered the picture. a brief bit of hope and connection, especially given the time. they tried to make the most of it. they tried to make a family… if you could call it that.

shun was really the sole caretaker. mundungus was always off with his latest ‘get rich’ scheme. it wasn’t always illicit activities, just mostly. that and a gamble or three. a law broken more than once. a couple they were not. never close aside from that single night.

DEATH TW: just shy of starting his second year at hogwarts, shun passed suddenly. a muggle heart thing— hypertrophic cardiomyopathy— nothing attached to dark magic or an ill-intended brew. yet still sudden. unexpected. and wildly unfair. he’d been lucky enough not to have been the one to find her, thought the hurt remained all the same. kaen holds onto that sensation for one essential fact: he never got to say goodbye.

DEATH MENTION, ABANDONMENT TW, PRISON TW: and like the top-notch parent that he was, mundungus strayed further away after shun passed. didn’t always have to be the physical distance, sometimes it was like he was just clocking in as dad. picking up his hours as a fatherly figure before he could dash off again to the life he wanted. a blip on the radar. a mad dash per month not to be marked as dead-beat. because fuck if mundungus was considered dead-beat. as if he hadn't always been working at or crafting some scheme. like the one that landed him in hot water... the first time, then the again, and... somewhere along the line, mundungus had toed the line one, two steps too far. incarcerated.

PRISON TW: despite always holding the name flecher, it wasn't until mundungus got imprisoned that kaen felt like he'd won his father's attention, though he blamed the sudden thirst for a relationship on boredom. after all, how many letters had kaen sent as a kid when mundungus had gone off on one of his business trips? and how many had he gotten returned? and this quick? after receiving that first correspondence from his jailed father, kaen left everything unopened. as a result, he has a bedside drawer stuffed with unanswered, unread letters.

despite their strained relationship, kaen very clearly carries his sentiment. a gaudy, family ring given to him that second shun-less christmas. "from one fletcher to the next. it was my father’s,” mun had told him. kaen never knew if the story was real or fake, if the ring had really just been snagged off some poor unfortunate in the tube or if his dad was telling the truth. either way, it never left his hand.

all that to say the apple didn't fall far from the tree. now kaen blamed circumstance: hardly a parent at his side, the cost of living hung over-head like a dark cloud, the money always short. growing, saving, only to be gone in a snap. i mean, rent had to be paid and, well, a worker's wage wasn’t fucking cutting it. he started by stealing in stores, mostly what he needed and then what he wanted. soon he got pretty good at picking pockets. then he just sunk further in.

the sticky fingers started with that very first scholarly trip to diagon, going down the school shopping list, watching as his mum clutched her coin purse tighter and tighter with each galleon and knut slid across the counter. kaen couldn’t find it in him to ask for even a pack of caramel cobwebs extra. he stomached the want at first, but by the second passing of the shop, want took over. and, fuck, had it been easy. in a second his pocket was heavier and his need was less. in an odd way, kaen's had a hankering for caramel cobwebs ever since.

his favorite place at hogwarts had been the room of requirement. felt like heaven the first time he found it. it’s not quite the same, but the junk shop in diagon alley has a similar feel. plus, kaen has access to the merchandise. and, should people want something not for sale on the floor, all they need to do is know how to ask. what the owner doesn’t know, won’t hurt him.

very into tattoos. they’re a way for him to be vulnerable without having to be outright with it. the ink does a better job at saying his feeling than his words do.

he’s an accidental cat father. socks just kept showing up on his fire escape. night one, he figured she was just curious but by the third he said fuck it and let her inside. she’s never left since. as an all black cat, people are often confused as to her name, having expected some coloration on her paws. that is, until they learn of her hoarding.

definitely has a cocky air about himself, but mostly because he’s had to stand on his own two feet for so long so he has a sense of pride with that, and knowing what he’s capable of. so in turn he doesn’t take a liking to people making incorrect assumptions. assume away, just be accurate about it.

general connection ideas: best friends, friends, ex-friends, pseudo siblings, ex-roommate (outside of school), classmates, childhood/family friends, coworkers (now or once-upon-a-time), exes [ 1. early adolescence innocent type vibe (first kiss-ish?) , 2. first more real relationship early hogwarts, 3. end of school era that ended badly, 4. post-hogwarts short-lived lust more than love, 5. recent ex. ], fwb, one night stand, blind date that didn't fully "work?", one-sided crush, old crush?, enemy, annoyance, drinking buddy, bad/good influence, people he's stolen from, people he's sold to, extended fam… others that i cannot think of

[ PINTEREST ]

[inthenameofallthingsholy]

Very…Satisfactory

Request made by @girlcalledwhatsername a long time ago and I finally finished it. Less angsty that it was originally intended to be, but at least it’s here yk

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

June 4th, Mindscape.

So…Roman’s birthday…

It’s not that Logan wasn’t happy for Roman, of course his friend’s birthday was a great occasion. However he, as per usual recently, was being a bit ignored by his compatriots. 

But today was about Roman. If standing near the punch bowl, being addressed only for the occasional “Having a good time?” meant Roman has a great birthday, Logan would oblige. 

“Heyy.. Havin a good time?” Logan heard a sly voice from behind him. He expected it to be Patton or Virgil. Probably Patton, Virgil was pretty busy hiding his blush from his Prince. 

“Yes…definitely….When are we going to-“ He turned around and saw the slithering snake that was Janus, Deceit, whatever one could call him. 

“What? Are you really so shocked to see me, I mean I would hardly call myself a stranger.” He smirked devilishly. 

Logan tried to ignore the mild attraction he felt when Janus smirked like that. This guy was bad news, and this was not the guy to have a crush on.

“I strongly believe Roman would not want you here. I suggest you leave.” As he spoke, his demeanor changed from awkwardly standing with a drink, to threateningly towering over Janus. His words were calm, but his actions spoke mild aggression. 

“Goodness Logan!” There was that smile again, Goddammit. “I simply came to drop off Remus’ card for his brother, that’s all.” 

Logan knew he was most likely lying. He knew Janus most likely would try to ruin the party. But some part of him was saying to let him stay, at least to leave the card for Roman, who would probably tear it up quickly.

“Give me the card, I shall see that it gets to him.” Logan reached for the card but Janus flipped it just too far away from his grasp.

“Make me…” Janus hissed like the snake he was. Logan, however, was blushing. Hard.

“If you do not give me the card, rest assured, I will make you leave. This is no time for games.” Logan fought to make his face stoic.

“You’re no fun Logan..” Janus smirked. “I thought this was a party, after all..” 

He saw that Logan’s face remained stoic, or at least was trying to be stoic, so he eased up the act. 

“Fine, whatever, just make sure Roman gets it.” Janus moved his hand close to the side of Logan’s cheek, and revealed the card as if it had come out of Logan’s ear before handing it to him and walking out the door.

Logan was back to blushing. Not good. Before he could even process what he was feeling, he heard a voice behind him. Again.

“He doesn’t like you.”

Logan turned around. Virgil. Shit.

“Pardon?” Good job, Logan, play dumb.

“He might act like he likes you, but he doesn’t. You know lying’s his whole thing.” Virgil was nearly fuming, arms crossed and his face scrunched up in a defiant snarl. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Virgil.” Logan spoke in a monotone voice.

“It seems he’s rubbing off on you.” Virgil scowled. “You cannot trust that guy. I know from personal experience.” 

Logan responded quickly. “What do you mean by ‘personal experience’?” 

Virgil hesitated. “Honestly, Janus and I were…almost friends. As close friends as two dark sides could be. But when he found out I was starting to be accepted by everyone, he cut me out. He refused to talk to me and even turned Remus against me. He made me feel even more alone than I already did. He’s a backstabber and he won’t do you any good.” 

Logan shouldn’t be surprised. Deceit is literally in his name, it makes sense he would backstab his only friend, but something about the pain in Virgil, one of his best friends’ voices, made him very angry. 

“I won’t get close. I promise.” Logan’s stoic face tried to give Virgil hope. A weak attempt to say the least.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2 weeks later, Logan was visited by a certain someone again.

The studious side was minding his own business in an empty mindscape, with each of the other sides biding time in their own rooms, and reading a book. 

The Hounds of Baskerville, a classic.

“Hey, tough guy” Deceit magically showed up behind Logan (he was getting good at that) “What do we have here?” He yanked the book out of Logan’s hands.

Logan huffed. Did he enjoy the teasing? Perhaps, but he made a promise to Virgil. “Give me back my book, Janus.”

“Or what?” Another cunning grin spread across his face. He knew how this was making Logan feel.

So Logan walked away. Didn’t take his book back, didn’t give a response or second glance. He silently and calmly exited the room. Of course, his brain and chest felt as though they were on fire, but he masked that behind the wall of dead air he left within the room as he walked into the hallway.

This was the only way he could fight the feelings, complete cold shoulder. If he didn’t interact with Deceit at all, he would be better off.

“Hey!” He heard Janus call back to him as he kept walking. “I was speaking with you!”

Logan heard fast footsteps run to where he was. He remained quiet all the same. They continued to walk.

“Do you not know it is rude to ignore someone while they are talking to you?” Janus hissed on the letter s in the sentence. Truly a snake.

“I would rather not be speaking with you.” Logan gave a stoic reply. It was at this time he took the book from a confused Janus’ hand.

“I thought we were having fun.” Janus used a mischievous tone constantly. “I know how you feel about me…” The tone changed from mischievous to flirty on a dime. 

“I feel nothing but annoyance with you currently.” A lie. One that could give the lie’s receiver a run for his money. 

“Wow, I thought I was supposed to be the liar here. Turns out it’s both of us. We make a great team.” The short man kept coming up with responses like he planned this conversation in his head.

“I would never be on a team with you. Not after what you did to Virgil.” It came out. A small amount of the truth. Logan didn’t mean to spill the beans on why he was being so standoffish, but the words flew out all the same.

“What about Virgil?” Janus stopped Logan from walking any further, hand on his chest. This time, his tone was neither flirty nor sly. It was firm. Logan assumed he hit a nerve.

“You turned against him and made Remus abandon him just as you had. He told me.” Logan was cold with his words. Any adverse emotions in this moment would clue Janus to the fact he was much more angry about this than he would let on. 

There was a silence for a moment as Janus ingested the information. 

“I believe I should be go-“ Logan was cut off.

“-I thought he was leaving us for you guys…. I thought he didn’t care about Remus and I anymore…So I did what I thought would stop Remus and I from being hurt.” Janus slowly let out what felt to Logan as…genuine truth. 

“I-“ The next words seemed hard for Janus to get out. “I…regret what I did and how it affected Virgil and I’s friendship.”

Logan was shocked by the vulnerability Janus was displaying. He looked down and at that moment noticed the gloves were off. 

“Why are you telling me this?” Logan hoped the answer was what he wanted it to be.

“Because I really like you, Logan. Don’t know if you’ve picked up on that from the obvious hints I’ve been giving.” Janus chuckled. A real chuckle. Logan’s shock grew. He liked Janus’s flirty, teasing persona, but he might like this Janus even more. The Janus who can really laugh.

“Do you have anything to say? Or are you going to gawk like that until I sink down.”  Logan realized he had said nothing. 

“I may also be experiencing a similar sort of reaction to you as you…have to me..” Logan awkwardly rambled.

“So you also like me?” Janus did his flirty smile again. 

“I believe I..do.” Logan was full on red. The blush could not be hidden by a stoic face at this point.

Janus’ smile grew “Can I kiss you?” 

Logan’s face got more red, if that was even possible. It burned more than the sun it seemed. “I supposed that would be…satisfactory.”

“Ok, Dictionary man.” Janus did another real chuckle. Logan really really really liked that. Janus brought Logan down a tad to his level, and kissed him in a perfectly splendid way that made Logan melt.

After the kiss, Janus couldn’t help but ask. “How was it?” He knew the answer he wanted.

Logan adjusted his necktie. “Quite….Satisfactory.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I FINISHED IT CAN YOU BELIEVE IT ONLY TOOK ME LIKE 4 MONTHS WHATEVER LOL

[jungle321jungle]

Snippets of 10“New” Fics #2

Yes I am alive. And I have so many fics just sitting in my google docs. Some barley started others already chapters long, but none of them are finished. But even so I enjoy some key moments of all of them so once again I gonna share them here! So in no particular order (but some of my favs are at the end) enjoy!

Read Snippets #1, Read on Ao3.

1. Janus is the illegitimate prince of a now fallen kingdom, and to stay alive he’ll need to sell his soul to the empire’s duke, Logan and the emperor as well.

“But Janus, answer a question for me. What do you intend to do once our traitor is caught?”

Janus ensured the confusion he felt didn’t show in his expression, “Pardon?”

“You're here- alive because you can help us with a rat problem. What do you intend to do once you have exterminated it?”

“I like to think I have many uses and thus reasons to be kept alive.”

“And are those reasons greater than retribution?”

“Virgil,” The Duke cut in. 

“What?” He asked innocently as he drank more wine. “Since when is it such a bad thing to question my convicts? I simply wish to know if he thinks that he’ll ever truly be able to wash away what he’s done.”

“He doesn't nee-”

“No,” Janus cut in. “And I never said that I was capable of that or that I even wanted to wash everything away. I said that I wanted to live. And all that involves is others looking the other way, not repentance nor forgiveness.”

The young man’s eyes narrowed, “You don’t feel bad for what you’ve done?”

“I do. But given how small my worldview was in comparison to what I thought it was? Without knowing what I do now, I’d make the same choices.”

“...And what is it that you know now? That we aren’t the savages you thought?”

“I never thought that, I simply wasn’t aware that there was a world without my father in it.” Both of them were staring at him, watching him, and Janus found himself oddly disturbed by their gazes but he forced himself to look the Emperor in the eye. “I was raised to live and breathe for his whims. That devoting myself to them entirely was the only way to survive. Now- now my leash is held by another, so I’ll do as I’m told by him in order to keep my head. So when your traitor is caught, I could very well be handed off to yet another. And if I am, I'll do what I can there to survive as well. Survival is all that matters. My feelings- my remorse has no say in it, because feelings can be manipulated. I focus on my actions.” 

The Emperor said nothing as he downed his remaining wine before he stood. “Clean up after your pets, Logan.”

~~~~

2. Janus and Logan are rivals in everything they do, including liking Virgil. 

Here, Janus and Virgil are texting about a date Janus interrupted between Virgil and Logan. 

That was so mean! 

Why would you say that when I was on a date!

It’s fine Logan’s not that easily bothered 

And it’s not first time I’ve called him boring to his face 

Usually I choose something more creative tho

Wait

Waif wait wait

Do you think he heard that?

Yeah 

He’s got real good hearing no way he wouldn’t have

Noooooooooooooo

Don’t worry I’m sure he’ll still call you after all that 

I’d prefer if he didn’t but that’s just me

Janus

Virgil

*sigh*

Why just why are you so confusing

It’s a specialty 

But I gotta ask

What exactly are you two?

That was our second date 

So nothing serious then?

I want to see him again though 

Any chance there’s space for me to try and steal your attention then?

I just said I wanted to see him again???????????

But you’re not exclusive right?

No

Then what’s the harm?

The fact that I feel like you’re just asking me out right now because it would annoy Logan?

I can have multiple reasons 

I told you back then that I’d be willing to try things again if you wanted 

It’s nearly been a year

I thought you wouldn’t care anymore 

Well you’d be incorrect 

It’s quite hard to forget asking someone to be my boyfriend and being turned down

I’m still sorry about that 

I really like you 

But family stuff had me in a weird place 

Hey I get it no worries

More importantly 

Like or liked?

Huh?

Your past message

Shit

Liked*

Seems like Freudian slip to me

~~~~

3. Janus didn’t know he had an ability aka powers. Whoops. 

Unrelated note: he and Logan are twins in this verse

A heavy sigh was the first thing out of the detective’s mouth as the man sat across from him. He looked past Janus as the cop who was standing by the wall, before he finally looked Janus in the eye with a tired expression. “You are aware that using your abilities to influence gambling is illegal in this city, correct?”

“Yes bu-”

“If you know that, why try and ruin everyone’s day?”

Janus gave his best placating smile, “See I know it’s illegal, but I didn’t think it mattered for me since-”

“Because you’re better than everyone else?”

“What? No! Because I don’t have an ability!”

“Yes, that’s why officers said you kept repeating on the drive over here.”

“Because it’s true. I-”

“Those handcuffs you're wearing, what color is the light on them?”

Janus raised an eyebrow in confusion before he looked at the large bulky, heavy, metal bracelets on his wrists. Within all the metal were three thin lines glowing. “It’s red.”

“Right. That’s the color it glows when a person has an ability. If I put them on, they would be green because I don’t.”

“But I don’t-”

“Yes, yes. You don’t have an ability.”

“Aren’t there people who can tell if someone is lying or not? Because if you got one of them here, they can tell you that I really have no clue what’s going on. I just went out for some drinks and a good time.”

“And why should I waste my time with that?”

Janus sat back in his seat before he frowned, regardless of whether or not he did or didn’t have supernatural powers, there was still a power he did have. Two in fact. “Tell me detective,” he started slowly. “What’s the punishment for such a thing? A fine? Community service at most? Or who cares even if it’s a year of jail time. It ultimately doesn’t matter.”

“What do you mean?”

“As you know, my last name is Ackroyd. Feel free to Google as you please, and then you can understand the amount of assets under our company- ah that our family has access to. I say it doesn’t matter because with the resources I have it will only take a single call to have everything resolved before the sun rises. And the media across the country will tell my version of the truth. You needn’t believe my story, but instead I’d like you to wonder what would happen to the jobs of every person here if your name- no, even just this police station was mentioned in a single article.” Janus gave him a slight smile as he shifted his heavy feeling arms so he could put his arms on the table, allowing the metal of the handcuffs to clang with the metal of the table. The sound wasn’t loud, and yet it echoed for a moment and another as the detective’s neutral expression grew more and more worried. But to his credit, he attempted to stand his ground. 

“Interrogations are recorded. You’re admitting all of this-”

“Things happen to videos all the time. One corrupt file can do a hell of a lot. But one person desperate enough can do even more. A bit of prodding and they can do a whole lot without any blood on my hands. Who knows what a single person can access? It could even be someone else's personal things. What if there’s two desperate people? Or three? Or ten? What if it’s this whole precinct? But of course these are all ‘what ifs.’ Who knows what will really happen? I’m far more merciful than mother, and you’re just hearing my ideas after all. I can’t even fathom how they'd make everything disappear. But we can certainly find out together… Unless of course, there happens to be a living lie detector in the building?”

The detective didn’t need to respond, because it was then the woman who had been standing behind Janus made herself known as she walked to the door, “I’ll fetch him.” 

~~~~

4. Emperor Logan decides he wants a harem to do work for him. Not do usual harem stuff. 

The wedding ceremony and coronation had been beautiful, he had looked good, the guests had behaved throughout the day, the gifts were beautiful, the Emperor had spoken to him for more than a few minutes- they had even danced together, all in all it was a pretty good wedding day. And when it came to a close Janus was more than ready to sleep for a year, but instead he found himself being shoved into a bath, covered in fancy lotions and oils(?), and sitting in only a robe on his bed. 

If Janus hadn’t been looking forward to his wedding then he wasn’t sure what he felt about his wedding night. But here he sat a glass of wine in hand, as he waited. Time didn't really seem to pass, or perhaps it was simply mocking his anticipation. But finally, his husband entered. 

“You're still awake,” he commented. 

Janus gave a slight nod, as he took in the fact that his husband was wearing pajamas which didn’t quite seem fair. “I am.”

The Emperor crossed the room slowly and sat beside Janus on the bed, “I wished to speak with you.”

“Al-alright.”

“I’m not forming a harem for pleasure,” he said bluntly, already managing to floor Janus. “Rather I intend to create a harem to work. I brought you here first because I want you to eventually manage the others and ensure they perform their duties. Essentially my cabinet is corrupt and the easiest way to replace them is to marry others and give them the cabinet’s jobs.”

“You married me… to give me a job?”

“Yes. And you can consider planning the wedding in such constraints as your job interview. As to which you did swimmingly. So eventually enough I’ll ask for your help in choosing others to fill this palace.”

Janus set his wine aside and pulled the robe tighter around himself as the words settled upon him, “Your Majesty? May I speak frankly?”

“Please. And more so, please call me by my name.”

“Then Logan,” Janus started trying and utterly failing to hide his angry tone. “Is that the only reason you married me?”

“Yes. I coveted your skills in wrangling the nobility.”

“And that’s the only reason? Not pleasure of any sort?”

“Well I believe you have other skills that could help improve The Empire, but no I have no interest in the traditional ah- benefits of having a harem.”

Janus gave a slight laugh of disbelief as he stood up and crossed the room to put a good amount of distance between them, “Then if you don’t mind Logan, could you get the hell out so I can put my clothes back on!?”

There was a long pause before the Emperor’s face flushed as if it just processed in his mind that Janus was indeed naked aside from his robe. He gave an awkward cough as he tried to replace his stoic facade. “Ah- oh. Right, I suppose it is our wedding night.” He gave an awkward cough as he quickly strode to the door. “Then please dress yourself. I simply wished to speak with you as soon as possible, we can speak at a later date. Apologies.”

A sigh of relief escaped Janus when he was alone, and then he was quick to gather his clothes and dress. Part of him expected the Emperor to come back to tell him it had all been some strange prank, or to simply talk more business, but it seemed he would leave Janus alone for the night. And for that, Janus was thankful. He got a much more restful sleep than he had been anticipating. 

~~~~

5. Cop Logan is mourning his fiance after a case doesn’t end well.

It had started as a missing persons case, where a college kid known for vanishing for a few days at a time, had vanished for longer than usual. In the end it had been easy to find him, but the kid had been paranoid saying that someone was out to get him for seeing or knowing something he wasn’t supposed to. The rambling hadn’t even sounded like real words at the time, rather it was appearing like their “victim” was just heavily under the influence- until the shot rang out. 

That kid had been the first, but he was sadly not the last. Bodies were dropping left and right as it suddenly became more and more clear that they had stumbled into something much larger and more dangerous than they had ever imagined. It took months- nearly a year of waiting for the “mastermind” to get too comfortable and slip up. But when that moment came, nearly every cop in the city was present for the deputy mayor’s arrest. At the time it had felt triumphant, that they had finally finally stopped all of this. And yet Logan quickly learned that just because the deputy mayor traded an office for a cell, didn’t mean that power left his grasp. 

It had been difficult to investigate the man who was so careful that nothing at all was tied back to him. There was only one piece of true evidence tying him to anything- and then mountains of circumstantial evidence from there. Even so Logan and so so many others had thought the trial would be a breeze. Because despite all of the doubt that had been derived from “inferring crimes” (as the lawyer had liked to put it), a hitman who kept receipts in the form of recordings seemed pretty damn concrete. And yet… somehow Remy was currently walking about as a free man. 

What had he missed?

“Is it all really that hard to understand?” It seemed silence wasn’t an appropriate answer because he continued. “Oh come on Lo, you’re good at what you do. You didn’t miss anything evidence wise. You missed things people wise.”

Logan took a deep breath as he set down the document and looked Janus in the eye, earning a smile from the other man. 

“Sometimes you think things are too black and white,” Janus supplied his eyes looking over the spread of pages on the floor. “You're thinking that you have so much clear evidence that it’s impossible for a jury to deny it. Except juries are human, and humans have greed.”

“You’re... you’re saying that he bought the jury?”

“I’m saying the man would do anything to avoid prison. And well, nepotism and cronyism go hand in hand with rich assholes.”

“You make it sound like your-”

“I am self aware, thank you very much… I also don’t have any slush funds nor murders under my belt.”

“Not even one?”

Janus gave a shrug as he carefully tiptoed around the mess to make it to the couch where he made himself comfy. “You would know if I did.”

Logan rolled his eyes as he looked back to work spread before him, “Buying the jury…”

“Before you start down that rabbit hole I think there’s something more pressing? Or well, a few more somethings.”

“Like?”

“Well for starters the case is officially closed, and then you're also sidelined for two weeks. Even if you make some calls you’ll be shoved away.”

“Then I’ll look into it myself. And when I get back, I can check in with some contacts in between other cases.”

“Alright, but you're still forgetting one more thing.”

“Which is?”

“Me?”

“You?” Logan hummed less interested as he looked up at the news story playing.

“You made promises,” Janus interrupted, standing in front of the screen. “You promised me, my family, and yourself. You’re supposed to go visit us.”

“I made that promise when I thought we’d win.”

“Won’t they need you more now?”

“I-”

“You need them now.”

“No, I don't Janus. I need to figure this out. So move out of the way.”

“You don’t? Then look at me.”

Logan raised an eyebrow, “I am.”

“No you’re not,” Janus said, walking forward onto the papers and crouching down to ensure he took up all of Logan’s field of vision. “Look at me Logan.”

“I-”

“And when you really look? What do you see?”

Logan took a deep shuddering breath as he closed his eyes pretending the tears weren’t gathering there, “Let me have this,” he begged quietly. “I’ll go- but for tonight just let me…”

Janus’ gave a chuckle, “Alright, but I’m holding you to that.”

“You always do… you always do.”

~~~~

6. Janus takes in his much younger brother Virgil.

Virgil had always been a quiet and shy kid, especially in unfamiliar surroundings. To the point that when their family went to functions the kid usually glued himself to one of their parents’ legs and would seem to do his best impression of an invisible person. In addition to that, Janus had never been particularly close with Virgil given the age gap, and hell he barely saw him. So perhaps all of that is what made seeing how his little brother acted here and now so jarring. 

The boy Janus knew to always pause and take in a new space before acting was sprinting the moment he entered the room. He didn’t care about anyone of the many people watching, he just ran to Janus who was quick to drop down and pull Virgil into what was surely the tightest hug of his life. And yet with a swallow he forced himself to pull back from the hug to look over the seven year old. Virgil had no visible injuries, like he had been told, but it wasn’t until he saw him here and now that Janus felt a mountain of tension release from him as he pulled Virgil close once more. “You okay?”

Virgil didn’t say a word, but the arms around his neck tightened slightly and that told Janus more than enough. 

A moment passed and then another, before the woman from before entered Janus’ field of vision. “There’s just one or two more things I need your signature for and then you’re free to go.”

Janus gave a nod as he released Virgil and stood, but the kid still managed to stay as close to Janus as physically possible. The woman held out a clipboard and pen and after scanning the pages presented to him, Janus filled in what was needed and handed it back. “That’s it?”

“That’s it. Drive safe, and bye Virgil.”

“Bye Ms. Park,” Virgil replied quietly. 

And with that Janus took his brother’s hand and walked out thankful that all of this mess was over- for now at least. 

“I want to go home,” Virgil told him as they exited the room. 

“Me too,”Janus sighed. “But instead of going home home, you’re going to be staying at my house.”

Virgil’s big eyes met his- and there were tears in them- shit what had he done wrong? Before he could process something to say, Virgil’s gaze fell to the floor, “Is it because I burned the kitchen? Do Mommy and Daddy not-”

“What? No, no. Mom and Dad are um...” Shit what was he supposed to say? ‘Oh well our parents are shit people so the government said you can't see them?’ That wouldn't go over great...

“They’re what?” 

“They’re... they’re traveling! You know them, never home. Anyway, we all decided you can stay with me instead of with a nanny. And, I’ve already started putting together a room for you. But you can pick out the rest to really make it your own, okay?”

Virgil nodded, but Janus wasn’t sure the kid was convinced. This was gonna be even harder than he thought.

~~~~

7. Teen Janus gets caught in a fire

Janus didn’t remember falling asleep, but he did remember waking once more to find an empty room, falling asleep again, and then waking at the sound of familiar arguing. His parents were here. Here and arguing with one another in their hushed tones which weren’t as quiet as they thought. But beside them, Mr. Logan seemed to be trying to keep the peace, but at least they were here- at least they had come.

“Is that what you’re really worrying about right now?” Dad huffed. 

Mom didn’t even look away from her phone to reply. “We don’t exactly have a house anymore. I think that’s more than acceptable to worry about.”

“You know that’s not what I meant!”

“Well what do you want me to say? I didn’t know he was calling over an emergency! More than that he should’ve called 911!”

“He’s-”

Right, he hadn’t done that had he? Why hadn’t he? Calling 911 was the logical thing to do, and yet in his panic and chaos his family was all that came to mind. Who had called then? Virgil? He had been crazy enough to run into the burning place- so he probably called after Janus had passed out… He truly owed Virgil everything in the world now didn’t he? 

Lost within his own thoughts, Janus hadn’t noticed the conversation continue around him until a hand settled on his arm. “How are you feeling?” Dad asked him. 

“Tired,” was the only real response he could give. His body felt heavy and sore sure, but really it felt like even breathing was sapping energy away from him. 

“Understandable,” Mom added, moving to stand next to Dad- and as she did Janus noticed as Mr. Logan made himself scarce. “Do you remember what happened?”

“I was- I was going to do laundry, and when I opened the bathroom door… It just burst out and-” Janus cut himself off as the pain began to grasp his throat once more, and he took a deep breath, hoping it would help, but it didn’t rather it lead to a fit of coughing which sent the pain spidering out across his chest. 

“You inhaled a lot of smoke,” Mom said unhelpfully, he had kind of figured that part out. “Take your time.”

When he was able, Janus took a few more deep breaths before he spoke. “After I opened the door the fire just burst out and I fell and then there was just fire everywhere. I…” What had happened after that? He knew that somewhere within the chronology of events the gas stove that he had running had only made things worse, and elsewhere in that he had called his parents over and over, and there was something he was missing- he had done something. But in the blur of his memories he couldn’t recall. He had run into Patton’s room for a moment- but he couldn’t recall what he had been trying to retrieve from it. Maybe Patton's room had been first? Or was the call? The kitchen was probably last since he had been on the floor in the living room when Virgil came. He wasn’t really sure, but nonetheless he told them the events that had occurred before Virgil found him, even if he didn’t know the order. With the story as finished as it could be, his parents seemed to have two main takeaways. First, that he should’ve noticed the bathroom door was hot (and apparently the fact that since he had been carrying a laundry basket and had thus used it to press down on the door handle, wasn’t an excuse). And  secondly, that instead of going to Patton’s room there were a million other things he should’ve done. And with that Janus couldn’t help but agree- especially because he couldn’t even properly recall what he had been doing. All he really knew about his actions was that a fire in the bathroom had kind of sent all logic as far away as the sun. 

When the criticisms laced with worry had subsided for a moment Janus used the opportunity to get the attention off of himself for just a few moments. “Do you have water?” He asked mom first. She looked about the room before vanishing, promising to get some, and when she had Janus asked his father, “How’d Patton’s appointment go?”

“It was fine,” the man sighed, sitting down. “I was expecting more, but it seems like this was just another preliminary thing. I feel like that’s just an excuse they toss at us at this point. But there’s a chance-” As the conversation became one sided, Janus didn’t even attempt to listen closely. But as soon as Mom returned with water, she joined in and as expected the conversation carried on without him as if he wasn’t even there. So he simply drank his water and let their complaints and bickering once again serve him as a lullaby. 

~~~~

8. They’re all detective adjacent solving crimes and the like. Eventually it will devolve into a weekly cop show kinda vibe and dynamic. 

“Cheers!” The word was echoed about the bar, as everyone began to revel in earnest- it seemed the fact that it was a school night meant nothing to them. But then again he couldn’t blame them. They had significant evidence against a Vyren, such things were near impossible in a city where so many had been paid off by the infamous family. Cheers and toasts had begun the moment they precinct had taken over the bar (and effectively drove other patrons away), and they didn’t seem like they would stop anytime soon. 

“Are you feeling alright?”

Logan stopped in his scanning of the room as he noticed Virgil sliding into the booth seat across from him. “Perfectly fine, why?”

Virgil didn’t respond verbally (as he was busy downing a beer) but he did gesture to Logan’s general form and the drink Logan held. 

“Are… are you suggesting that I’m not well because I am here?”

A nod was the response. 

“I don’t mind a celebration or socializing now and then.” 

Virgil gave an amused hum as he set down his drink, “Did you hear who it was that was the key to all of this?”

“Roman said it was someone undercover.”

“It was your unofficial rival, Sanders. That’s why I assumed you wouldn’t be coming.” 

Logan’s lips twitched into a frown, before he hid it with a sip from his glass. “We have nothing against each other. We were in the academy together. And now we are based out of the same precinct. That’s it.” It was more or less true, but perhaps it was more true to say that Thomas had nothing against him. Logan meanwhile couldn't help but be a tad jealous of the man who had gotten promoted to detective first- especially in the unit that Logan had initially wanted, but it wasn’t as if he hated the man. He was too nice to even dislike. Which only annoyed Logan more. Regardless of the truth, based on what was conveyed Virgil didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t push the topic. 

“Well it’s good to see you outside of the office.”

“I leave my office to visit your lab.”

“Okay… uh good to see you in a non work capacity. Better?”

Logan nodded “I can be a homebody, but given significant reason I am more than willing to be social.”

“Now I’m wondering what counts as ‘significant’,” Virgil said with an eye roll but there was that perfect smile of his playing on his lips. 

“Well-”

“Virgil!” A sharp yet familiar voice called cutting in. And Logan couldn’t help but grimace as Roman appeared. He truly had the worst of timing. 

“How is my favorite gremlin?” Roman asked, pushing Logan aside as he scooted into the booth. 

Virgil paused for a half moment as if he was weighing the benefits of addressing Roman at all, but ultimately he spoke with a sigh. “Hello Roman. Drunk already?”

“I’m not drunk! At least not yet. This is still my first drink.”

Logan sighed, taking in Roman’s demeanor. He seemed slightly unsteady, he had a stupider smile than usual, and his voice was a slightly different pitch. “We haven’t even been here that long, how many shots did you have?”

“It’s rude to ask a man such questions.”

Virgil gave a sigh as he climbed out, “I’ll get you some water.”

“Lo! Did you see that!? He does care!”

“Very happy for you,” Logan replied dryly as Virgil walked away. “Did you need to come over here?”

Roman gave him a mischievous smile as he whispered, “I just want to witness a love story with my own eyes.”

“I… You- You’re insufferable.”

“You love me.”

“You simply wish it was so.”

“You're so cruel to me.”

“You deserve it.”

~~~~

9. Janus remembers his past lives, and his dad (Logan) is very sketchy. 

A loud and resounding bang jolted Janus awake. He sat straight up in bed, heart pounding, every one of nerves firing at once as he faced the darkness of his room. He took a few deep breaths, trying to de- 

BANG. 

The sound of a gunshot was a sound Janus knew well. Far too well. His breath hitched and his throat seemed to try and close itself as he forced himself to be silent as he fought the tears burning in his eyes. As he fought the fear of the past by digging his nails into his arms forcibly grounding himself to the present. The pain of it allowing him to bring his mind into slight focus. He forced himself to take the smallest and quietest of breaths as he tried to convince his body to not lock itself in place as he heard the sound of a heavy thump followed by multiple pairs of boots coming up the servants’ stairs. He could barely hear them over the sound of his deafening heartbeat, but he could tell they were growing closer, and closer, and closer. 

Adrenaline hit him all at once as Janus scrambled up from the bed and threw himself under the bed with as little sound as he could muster. His hands were pressed firmly around his mouth as he tried to muffle the sound of his own breath as the footsteps grew closer with whispering voices to accompany them. Before they came to a stop outside his bedroom. 

This is different. This is different. This is different. 

He told himself this over and over and over as he tried to suppress his past self and the fears that came with it. He didn’t have his memories back at that time. He did now. He knew how to fight, and how to talk his way out of just about anything. This would be different from his tenth. It would. He wasn’t the same scared kid anymore. That kid was gone. He was Janus. Janus. Janus Ackroyd. Rich, smooth, and confident. 

And yet his body still trembled as he hid under the bed and the bedroom door swung open. A dim light from the hallway was able to illuminate two pairs of legs which walked in the room, but the one in front stopped halfway to the bed. 

The pause felt like an eternity in which Janus had no choice but to allow himself a breath. He closed his eyes tight as tears began to flow freely, but he tried to control himself. He was different. He was different. He was-

“Janus?”

The soft call of Dad’s voice was too sudden to be real. And yet Janus slowly opened his eyes to realize the room lights had been turned on. Even so he didn’t dare to move. The pair of legs closest to him bent slightly and a hand sporting a familiar watch touched the floor followed by the slow appearance of the rest of Dad’s body as he flattened himself to the floor and their eyes met. 

“It’s okay,” he promised softly. “You can come out of there.”

Janus took a deep breath as he body shook, he wanted to move but it was as if all of his muscles had been permanently locked in this position. Unbothered, Dad scooted closer, not caring as his expensive clothes rubbed all over the floor. He moved so he was just within Janus’ reach but he didn’t try to touch him. Instead he just gave a slight smile, “You used to always hide under there during a loud storm... I didn’t know you could still fit underneath.”

Janus wasn’t sure how long the two of them laid there for, but it wasn’t until he wrested back control from the past that he inched his way out from under the bed. Dad said nothing more, he simply sat up and pulled Janus into a hug which was quickly and tightly returned. 

“Why don’t you lay back down?” Dad suggested after a moment, and at Janus’ nod he found himself lifted to the bed and Dad sat down beside him. 

Janus wanted to say something, to do something- but it was all he could manage to hold his father’s hand and try to control his own breathing. But he did manage a peek past Dad to see Roman lingering by the doorway, but there was-

“You can go get things finished,” Dad told Roman without turning around. “I’ll stay here for now.”

“Night Boss! Mini Boss!” Roman called as he left the room leaving Janus and his Dad alone. 

“I think tomorrow should be a sick day from school,” Dad said quietly as he took to running his fingers through Janus’ hair. “What do you think? I finished what I was doing, so you and I can relax tomorrow?”

Janus could only give a nod in reply. 

“Then it's a plan. But for now, let’s rest hm?” It sounded far easier said than done, but Janus didn’t complain as he closed his eyes. A moment passed before he felt the bed shift as Dad laid down beside him. It was stupid. He was far far far far older than the man holding him as he tried to sleep- and yet he was grateful that his father hadn’t left his side even to turn off the light. 

“Remus.”

The man glanced up from his cleaning with a smile, “Is Mini Boss asleep?”

“Finally, yes,” Logan nodded. “But more importantly than that, I thought I made it clear that you weren’t to show yourself in front of Janus with blood on your clothes.”

Remus glanced down at himself as if he hadn’t noticed its presence. “I hadn’t thought to check, thought the kid was sleep.”

“Of course he wasn’t. Guns like that aren’t quiet.”

“I didn’t know, these babies are new!” He gave a smile as he continued to clean the barrels. “And they pack a punch don't they?”

Logan forced himself to take a deep breath, he wouldn’t get anywhere talking to Remus. “I want everything spotless. And I need Roman back in the afternoon. Make sure you both sleep somewhere in there.”

Remus waved him off, “Don’t worry about me, go back to Mini Boss before he wakes up again.”

Logan gave a nod as he left and headed towards his room to change into something more comfortable, then afterwards he’d head back to Janus’ room to sleep. He still didn’t know what kind of explanation he could give to his son. He had intended to keep all sides of his work and family separate. But given the way things were moving, that may be easier said than done. Janus was a mature kid, he acted older than Logan most of the time, but… he was still a kid when it came down to it. And the last thing Logan wanted to do was drag his son into the middle of this fight. 

~~~~~

10. Janus has been raised by Virgil- only to find out that Virgil isn’t actually his Dad, Logan is, and a lot of things have been a lie in order to protect him. 

But Janus just really loves his Dad.

“I knew trusting you was a good thing.”

“I didn’t.”

“Ah yes, there’s that patented negativity I’ve missed.”

“You think it was easy? Not even considering the fact we were in The Kingdom, stubbornness is clearly a family trait.”

“Such insolence,” The Emperor replied in a lighthearted tone. “I was about to tell you that I missed you. I now will rescind such a thought. Instead I order you to help Janus get settled and then you are to come have a drink with me.”

Dad responded with a smile, “I missed you too, Your Majesty.”

The man nodded and began to lead the way into the grand entryway of the palace. Inside everything was gilded and shimmered, even the impressive looking floor looked clean enough that he could see himself reflected with ease. The plants and paintings decorated the space in a beautiful manner, even screamed extreme wealth, and yet the most impressive thing in the room still managed to be the Emperor. His long, scaly, blue tail swishing behind him as he went in a way which Janus assumed meant he was happy- did that work for dragons? Or was that just dogs? Or well, the Emperor wasn’t a full dragon, he had dragon blood though. How much dragon was even in dragon blooded? Janus had no way of knowing, and not wanting to ask at this moment he simply followed after, wondering if the cheap mended clothes he wore were somehow mocking the space around him. 

“I’ll admit it’s a bit strange to hear you call me that, Virgil.”

“Well, you're the emperor now,” Dad said, walking a pace or two behind Janus instead by his side. The man caught Janus’ confused gaze but said nothing on it nor did he move. It was then when he noticed that the servants who walked with them were walking behind his father. Did birthright and even dictate walking? 

“That’s true,” the Emperor started. “But, ever since I could remember you were always there somewhere shouting ‘Your Highness’ and following me about.”

“Well you did have a habit of disappearing.”

“You’ve known each other that long?” Janus interrupted. 

“Our entire lives,” The Emperor hummed. “Virgil’s mother worked as a doctor and alchemist, and his father was the personal knight of my mother.”

“We ended up spending a lot of time together,” Dad added. “So, I became His Majesty’s servant. Then eventually I became his knight… and then I became your protector.”

“Protector,” Janus echoed softly. It didn’t seem like an appropriate title. Sure he had kept Janus alive, but he had also done so so much more than that. His “protector” had taught Janus everything he knew, be it how to read or how to make potions. His “protector” had held him when he was upset or scared and laughed with him when he was happy. His “protector” had been the one to scold him when he had done wrong, and praise him when he had done well. More than that, that word implied that what was done was no more than a job. An obligation. A duty. A knight protected their masters because it was their job and they’d be scorned if not. A mere protector wouldn’t shed tears over the fact that he wouldn’t be allowed to tell Janus ‘I love you’ anymore. If Virgil’s role in his life was nothing more than a “protector” then Janus was sure the dictionary needed to update their definition of the term. But even then, the only way to explain it succinctly would be to write: ‘Protector: a parent’. 

But regardless of what the term meant to him, or what he wanted it to mean. Ultimately… a protector's job would eventually end. Wouldn’t it? 

~~~~

And that’s ten! I hoped you like! Let me know if there’s a particular one you want to see more of even its just more snippets as opposed to a chapter I haven’t finished yet. 

[ask-fantasy-sanders-sides]

So J is there a back up plan if the High Priestess tells you to go fuck yourself? And your caught out in the open away from all your vaguely combat ready meat shields?

Patton recounts what he remembers from their misadventures during Liar’s Night,

“I can still feel my aches from fighting Remus, and I remember everything up to getting drinks with Roman, but after that point is a bit of a blur. I was a little tipsy at the time, but that usually doesn’t impede a Hin’s memory, so I think that’s the magic’s doing...” he continues wandering aimlessly about the forest and looking for Dee as he speaks aloud,

“I remember looking for Annie, and Roman freaking out when we couldn't find her. I’ve never actually seen him flounder like that before. It feels mean to say, and it wasn’t worth the price of her being kidnapped of course, but I did feel a little vindicated seeing his panic. Didn’t want him treating the issue lightly, since he really had messed up this time.

“I remember noticing that person wearing green. They'd...been following me for a while, now that I think about it!” Patton huffs, frustrated,

“I thought they must have been up to something after your warnings, but when I walked up to confront them they disappeared. I mean vanished, like a magic trick! I kept looking for them in the crowd, but I couldn’t find them again after that, and regardless I had a more important missing person to worry about.

“When I found him again, Roman was arguing with Remus. I'm not sure when he got there, or what they were arguing about, but Roman was beet-red in the face.

Before I could really hear them, suddenly Remus had fallen flat on the floor! I remember assuming Roman must have knocked him flat for an insult or another, but I don’t think Roman had touched him.”

Patton scratches his head, coming up blank.

“Ahhh...Everything after that I forget. I’m not sure if anyone else in the ballroom even noticed Remus passing out before I woke up in the barn again.”

At your insistence upon the letter, Patton pats the pack strapped around his waist and frowns,

“I don't know what the letter has to do with all this, but I suppose we could read it once everyone's back together again. I doubt anyone but me wants to try going to the party again, after what happened last time.”

He blushes slightly, sheepish,

“There's no point in me reading it alone. My reading isn't so good, and if I know Ian, he'll have encoded something on it. We'll need a candle to read it fully, and I don't want to risk opening it and smearing something...”

Patton gets back to looking for Janus in earnest, moping to himself with a pout,

“Oh, I wish Logan wasn’t knocked out... He’d be able to fix all of this with those spells of his, or at least come up with a better plan than that scoundrel Dee! —And I hate speaking ill of people, so you know I mean it!”

He fidgets with the sleeves of his hoodie, looking around nervously,

“Gee... What can I do? I doubt I’ll find Dee unless he wants to be found, and he sure doesn’t seem interested in being anywhere near me. I should have been watching him more closely...

“Should I keep looking, or should I just go back??”

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Ask 130     (( @lovelivingmydreams​ ​ ))

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Most Recent Recap, in case you feel like you missed something!

Available for questions: Patton, Roman, Virgil, Janus, and Annie!

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As soon as they are far enough into the woods separating the Manor from the Castle, Janus sneaks off into the wood! It seems he never actually intended to let Patton follow him, or rely on the Empress...

Patton looks for his runaway party member, and summarizes his memories of the previous file...

[rangerstark25]

Some RswR details/discussion :)

There were a lot of cool details in the newest episode of Roleslaying with Roman (episode 5) and there is something that I haven’t seen anyone else point out yet, so I guess I’ll do it myself!

I’ll get into it under the cut as not to spoil the episode for anyone :)

Okay, so I can’t be the only one who noticed the crystals (at least somewhat) representing the sides, right? I mean, just look at them:

It’s not just the fact that there’s seven, in the colours of the sides (including orange), but also what some of them represent within the episode. 

Take the first room, with the pale blue and yellow crystals.

In this room, they have to reveal the biggest lies they’ve ever told. When Roman talks about his messy room, the yellow crystals (Janus/Deciet) start glowing brighter, but when he finally admits his actual fear, the pale blue crystals (Patton/Morality (or in this case honesty)) glow brighter to show he’s on the right path.

On their way down the tunnel it is specifically said “the glow of the pale blue crystals, and a little bit of yellow from that dishonesty, light your way”

Up next is the maze room, with orange and purple crystals.

In this room, Youngblood is blinded. I’ve seen a lot of theories surrounding Orange, and how he could have some form of blinding ability the same way Janus can silence people. Most of these are derived from the Orange = Anger/Rage theory, and the phrase “blinding rage.” Additionally, in this room Orange tries to harm Youngblood, while Purple helps them out.

I’m honestly not quite sure how to interpret the purple crystals (which would be Virgil/Anxiety). (I doubt it’s even intended to be this deep, I'm just reading really far into it). Maybe it’s because, similarly to rage, anxiety can often feel blinding? Sometimes you need a friend to help you out of the spiral, because you can’t do it alone :)

Anyways, next are the doors with the green and red crystals!

This one feels rather simple. Roman, ever chivalrous, wants to do the princely thing and be polite to everyone. So when they mind their manners as the sign suggests, the red crystal (Roman/Creativity) starts glowing. At first I thought it was weird that it wasn’t the green crystal that was glowing, because green means go and all that, but if you think of it in a Sanders Sides context then it makes sense. The green crystal (Remus/Dark Creativity) would glow if they were to ‘break the rules’ or do something they weren’t supposed to. All the rooms also have interesting (you could say creative) puzzles/solutions, at least in my opinion. 

Finally, we reach the end of the cave, the final room.  

And what do we find? All the crystals in the wall.  ”Crystals are embedded in the same formation on either side of the wall of the chamber. They gleam bright in the dim light. Pale blue, yellow, purple, orange, red, and green. They are laid out along and in between five straight lines carved into the rock behind them.”

I don’t know why I found this detail so peculiar. Dark blue is in the middle, and yet is isn’t mentioned when describing the room. This could have been an accident, of course. This isn’t a word-for-word scripted series, after all. (Maybe it has to do with how they went through the rooms. The order the crystals are mentioned in isn’t the same as their formation on the wall, but it is the same as the order of rooms, and dark blue/indigo (Logan/Logic) doesn’t get a room either.) 

I do think the room has symbolism though. The “lines carved into the wall” as shown in some of the art clearly intended to represent sheet music to some degree:

The crystals start glowing once they hit the right notes, and the instruction is for them to sing together. To harmonise. So... are they (loosely) suggesting the sides need to harmonise better? That maybe if they work together as a team, they can get out of whatever mess they get themselves into? As the title of the episode suggests, Teamwork Makes the Dream DemonWork!

Anyways, that was all for my over-analysis of this particular episode, I hope you enjoyed overthinking with me! If you have any more theories/details that I didn’t mention, feel absolutely free to add them on! 

~ Madelyn

[iclaimedtobethebetterbard]

if you’re going my way, i’ll go with you - chapter 7

Fandom: Sanders Sides Characters: All the sides, character!Thomas, minor/background OCs Rating: Teen & up Relationships: Platonic/familial Logan & Janus (& a little bit Patton), mentioned Analogical, mentioned Dukeceit Warnings: Brief instance of sex negativity, language, a couple of minor sexual references, as well as brief non-detailed mentions of past instances of: bullying, teen pregnancy in an unsupportive environment, teachers misusing power over children, an injury resulting from dangerous behavior, torture and injuries resulting from it. (much like last chapter, despite the warnings i swear this is mostly just very cute fluff, platonic loceit edition this time) Word count: 4676

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Chapter 7

Logan had been having a productive day. (Had been.) It was satisfying and enjoyable. He’d woken curled in Virgil’s arms, his partner pressing the softest of kisses to his forehead, and the pair of them had cuddled, talking and exchanging gentle sleepy kisses, for a little more than an hour before Logan had finally roused himself to tend to his responsibilities, later than he had intended. Upon arriving at work, he’d greeted Remus—who had already arrived and opened up the lab, presumably at the normal opening time—and assured him that yes, he was fine, and there were no concerning reasons for him being two hours later to work than usual. (Remus had seemed a little skeptical when Logan had failed to provide any reasons, concerning or otherwise, for the delay, but accepted Logan’s word without too much pushback.) Making a batch of puberty blockers had gone much more quickly than he anticipated, and he’d gotten it out of the way with ease, allowing himself to focus on his normal workload before he got too far behind schedule. 

All in all, it had been an excellent morning. 

When Logan went to lunch, though, heading towards the cafeteria-style meal hall on the first floor of the Heroes’ Guild headquarters, he stepped out of the stairwell and found his path blocked by Vortex.

The man, short and muscular, stood with a wide stance and his hands on his hips; his supersuit was bright orange, textured like overlapping scales with a metallic sheen, with accents in red and a bit of yellow. His mask and gloves were red and his brown hair was combed upwards with a bit of a twirl to it, vaguely reminiscent of the logo—a letter V stylized to look like a tornado—on his chest. 

Fire and wind powers. And an ego and temper to match the most stereotypical depictions of such powers. For all Logan disliked Vortex, and hated the way he treated Janus, he had to admit he was quietly grateful Vortex had enrolled as a hero; the amount of damage he could do as a villain was not pleasant to think about.

“Good afternoon, Vortex,” he greeted mildly. “Excuse me.”

Vortex didn’t budge. “There was an incident last night, Logic,” he announced, not even acknowledging that Logan had spoken at all. 

“So I’ve heard,” Logan said, choosing to ignore the belligerent tone in hopes of concluding this interaction as speedily as possible. “I’ve been assured that Count Ruthless was dealt with handily by the heroes who responded, and the damage he did to civilian property is being remedied. Is there anything specific you wished to discuss?” 

“Where were you?” Vortex demanded, no less rudely than before. “You weren’t on the scene, and you weren’t in your lab. There were no communications from you, either.” 

“Ah,” Logan said, and found himself at a highly unpleasant lack for words. It wasn’t like his presence was actually required or even expected for a villain as low in the pecking order as Count Ruthless; nobody ought to be surprised by Logan’s absence at the scene. But the lack of communication was harder to explain away—it was rare for Dr. Logic to be totally unreachable in the event of an emergency. And “I left my work phone at home because my boyfriend, who is also my nemesis, called me in a panic and I dropped everything to spend the night in his lair” would not go over well. “I—well—” 

“Babysitting,” a new and very welcome voice said from behind him. Janus appeared at his side and slung an arm about his shoulders, leaning comfortably on him. “For me, of course. So kind of him, honestly.” 

“Ah,” Logan said again, gratefully. “Yes.” That was a logical and plausible explanation, one that required no further information to be shared. Very helpful of Janus.

Janus, meanwhile, frowned at Vortex. “Also, he’s a doctor,” he said, tone icy. “Doctor Logic. And he’s your superior.”

Vortex looked like he had eaten something very unpleasant. “Sorry. Sir,” he said to Logan, shooting a venomous look at Janus.

Logan raised his eyebrows. “I appreciate the apology,” he said coolly. Glancing over at Janus, he added, “I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to share that information; thank you.” That should explain away his earlier stammering to Vortex.

“No, no, it’s all good,” Janus played along. “Vortex is acquainted with the fact that I have a child.” They tilted their head, glaring harder at Vortex, who was still standing with arms crossed before the pair of them. “Remind me what you said about that, back in our sophomore year? Something about how my, what was it, ‘whorish tendencies’—like you didn’t date just as many people as I did—‘destined’ me for villainy from the very start, right?” 

Logan pressed his lips together, forcing himself not to react. While the specific quote was news to him, he had already known about the history between Vortex and Janus. The two had been in the same class during their time at Brennan; to Logan’s understanding, Vortex had bullied Janus from very early on. It had only intensified after Janus became pregnant at fifteen—at that point, Vortex had gone from an outlier to a ringleader.

Logan was glad he’d shown up looking for an apprentice when he had, and had been able to remove Janus from the situation entirely. Very few people in Janus’s life had been less than cruel to him over the pregnancy up until that point—including his teachers.

“You know how there’s a super biology unit at Brennan?” twenty-year-old Janus asked, placing the cutting board he had just cleaned on the dish rack. Patton, who was all of four, was building a puzzle with large, chunky pieces on the floor of the living room. While at this point Janus had their own apartment, they frequently came over to Logan’s for dinner. The pair of them discussed whatever was going on at work, and after dinner Janus did their college homework, allowing Logan to seize the opportunity to entertain Patton until the tiny child dozed off, usually in his arms.

Logan looked over from where he was adjusting the seasoning of the soup and testing the vegetables for doneness. “Yes, why?” 

“I—” Janus swallowed. They seated themself on a chair at Logan’s table and picked at their fingernails. “I just—before Patton.” The little one looked up at his name, and Janus’s voice shifted at once to something far more cheerful. “Yeah, hi baby! How’s your puzzle going? It looks so good!” 

Once Patton had reported his progress in a serious little ramble, made all the more adorable for his tiny voice still full of toddler-lisp, and had resumed his work on the puzzle, the smile dropped off Janus’s face and she returned to what she’d been saying before. “I was at school, right? Just a little before I found out about him. And I tried to do this thing I used to show off with, where I’d jump off something on the playground and use my powers to catch myself. Grow wings, or really long legs, or go all snakey, so I didn’t get hurt. It—” They laughed, but it was thin and wavering. “It was stupid. But I—then I—it was just a normal day. But when I jumped and tried to shift, I couldn’t. And I was too startled to fly before I hit the ground.” He bent his head, avoiding Logan’s eyes. “I wasn’t that high up, I only sprained my ankle. But the nurse didn’t—he didn’t say anything about why I couldn’t use my powers. Just healed it and let me go back to class without my powers or any explanation. He—he had to have known.” 

Logan turned off the stovetop, moved the pot to a cold burner, and turned to face Janus, giving her his full attention. 

“And I had no idea what had happened for weeks,” Janus went on, voice trembling. “I couldn’t shift, and I didn’t know what had happened—I was so scared, and none—” They gulped. “None of my teachers said anything. None of them explained it to me.” 

Logan moved over to sit beside them and put a hand on their upper arm. 

“And then in bio, we went over shifters, and the teacher—she just—just read it out from the textbook in front of everyone. That we can’t shift if we’re pregnant.” Janus leaned into Logan’s touch. “I—I didn’t know. And she told everyone. The whole school knew by the end of the day.” He drew the back of his hand across his nose. “I know I was an—an annoying little piece of work when I was fifteen, but someone should still have told me!” 

Patton looked up again as Janus’s voice cracked on a sob. “Mama?” he asked, tiny face pinched up with worry.

“Hi, baby,” Janus croaked wetly, holding out his arms and letting the child climb into his lap. They wrapped their arms around their son, burying their face in his curls and sniffling softly.

Logan sighed. “I’m sorry,” he said, wrapping his arm fully around them in a side-hug. “You’re right. You were mistreated. It was wrong and should not have been allowed.” 

Janus leaned into the hug, nestling against Logan with a trust Logan rarely saw him display to anyone else, Patton still cuddled close in his arms. He huffed out a laugh that held no amusement. “And Vortex had a field day with that, obviously. He left my boyfriend entirely alone and just picked on me for it.” They made a descriptive noise of disgust. “Honestly, half the reason I said yes to the apprenticeship was just to pi—” They glanced down at Patton. ”—upset Vortex. He was so sure you’d pick him. He was bragging about it ahead of time and everything.”

“I knew I was uninterested in working with him twenty-six seconds into the interview I gave him, actually,” Logan said.

That drew an actual chuckle out of Janus. “I’m not surprised.” She chewed on the inside of her cheek for a moment. “What did I do, though? I wasn’t even trying.”

Logan didn’t hesitate. “You had potential. It was clearly being wasted. I didn’t like that.”

“Aww,” Janus drawled, the sarcasm clearly covering up genuine warmth. “That’s—”

“I want soup,” Patton, who had evidently gotten bored, announced.

Janus straightened at once, attention entirely drawn to the child in his lap. “You do?” he inquired, doting and indulgent.

“Pwwwease?” Patton said, struggling with the l, and reached up to place his palms on Janus’s cheeks.

Janus’s whole face melted into a delighted smile. “Of course, baby. Hold your uncle for me.” She transferred Patton to Logan’s arms.

Logan accepted the small warm body at once, running a hand through Patton’s hair—which was getting long enough to warrant a trim—and smoothing it. The child happily wrapped his tiny arms about Logan’s neck, chanting, “Soup, soup, soup,” under his breath and watching Janus’s progress.

Janus crossed the kitchen and pulled down bowls from Logan’s cupboard—two regular ones, and one dedicated specifically for Patton’s use. It had pawprints and hearts painted on the rim; it was shallow, so food in it would cool quickly, and made of stoneware, which was harder to break and less sharp in the event that it did shatter.

In short order Patton was seated in his chair, which was not a high chair but did have a higher seat than any of Logan’s other chairs, happily digging his spoon around in his bowl. Logan and Janus, seated on either side of him, were both quiet; Janus still seemed to be turning something over, and Logan felt that work matters, which were not particularly pressing this week anyway, were less important just now than this conversation was.

“I would’ve done it,” Janus said quietly a few minutes later.

“Done what?” Logan asked, though he suspected he knew the answer.

“Gone villain. Everyone was telling me I’d have to.” Janus stared at the fridge, where a scribbled crayon drawing Patton had proudly presented to Logan last week was pinned up. “I would have done it. If you hadn’t shown up.”

Logan thought about the surly child Janus had been when they met him, crossing their arms and avoiding his eyes, clearly assuming Logan thought the worst of him, and the blank shock on their face when he offered her the apprenticeship anyway. He thought about the terrible look on Janus’s face the day Vortex had been accepted into the Heroes’ Guild, and the way they had wordlessly vanished into the training room with their dual knives in hand, emerging two hours and eight shredded dummies later and refusing to speak to Logan for the rest of the day. (Logan had hated signing off on Vortex’s contract, though he could hardly have rejected the young man’s application without accusations of favoritism that would only make things worse for Janus.) He thought about the way Janus spoke more warmly of their nemesis Viper than they did any of their coworkers.

Logan put his hand over Janus’s on the table between them and squeezed. “I know.”

Logan had seen that vulnerability from Janus quite a few times over the years. But out here in public, face-to-face with a man who they did not trust and in fact hated quite a lot, Janus’s masks and shields and walls were all up and the hurt they had never bothered to heal from was hidden away behind a sharp, dangerous grin. Janus was not afraid to poke at their own wounds if they thought they could gain something out of it. Vortex’s discomfort being a case in point. 

Janus clucked her tongue condescendingly at Vortex. “Always telling me I ought to be a villain. And now the head of the Heroes’ Guild calls my son nephew. How does it feel to be wrong, Vortex? Do tell me. I’m unfamiliar with the sensation.” 

Vortex ignored the pointed speech. “And where were you last night?” he demanded, eyes narrowing. 

“Spending the night at my boyfriend’s. I’m sure I don’t have to spell out what we were doing.” Janus sounded bored, examining his nails with pursed lips; it was a beautifully delivered lie. “Though perhaps your wife might appreciate it if I explained to you, since, you know, both of us enjoyed ourselves.”

“That is more than enough,” Logan interjected firmly, adding in a murmur to Janus, “I’d rather not rush you to my lab for burns, if it’s all the same to you.” He stepped slightly forward, emphasizing that he was on his way somewhere and had been interrupted by this whole interaction. “Vortex, thank you for the concern over Reflection’s and my own wellbeing last night. As you can see, our absence was simply a matter of poor timing. I’m going to grab some lunch now, would you care to join me?” 

Vortex scowled. “No, thanks, I just ate,” he said, far more politely than the look on his face, and he begrudgingly stepped aside and allowed Logan and Janus to pass. 

“So,” Janus said in an eager, gossipy tone when he and Logan were seated at a table in the cafeteria with their chosen meals in front of them. “Spill.” 

“I have no idea what you’re referring to,” Logan lied, taking a bite of his lasagna.

“What did I give you an excuse for? C’mon, Doc. It pissed Vortex off no end, that’s always a promising start to a story.” Janus leaned forward, propping her chin up on both hands. “It’s not like anyone can hear us.” This was true; the tables in the cafeteria were located inside of booths protected with noise-canceling barriers of Logan’s own design. The barriers both allowed privacy while eating and drastically reduced the amount of background noise in the cafeteria, making the space much less overwhelming to be in.

However, being able to safely share information about last night with Janus did not mean Logan wanted to. He shrugged. “Personal matters. My presence was requested elsewhere when the response team was doing their work.” 

Janus stared at him, pausing mid-chew, their expression growing more and more dramatically unimpressed until it shifted into theatrical disgust. Ah. They had put the pieces together. Unfortunate. “No,” they said, breathless with horrified glee.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Logan tried. 

“You missed out on hero work because you were at your boyfriend’s?” Janus demanded, sounding equal parts scandalized, annoyed, and delighted. 

“It’s more complicated than that—” 

“Oh my god, this is great. You are never allowed to yell at me for kissing Remus ever again.” 

“I do not ‘yell’ at you,” Logan protested.

“Fine, but you get all huffy about it.” Janus grinned and pointed at him with her fork. “Not allowed anymore.” 

“If you would choose other times to engage in such activities than when both of you are supposed to be working, I would have no objections to how you choose to spend your time.” 

“Right, because responding to a villain incident is totally not a time you’re supposed to be working. That’s totally different.” Janus sounded far too smug for anyone’s good. “That’s totally a responsible time for you to be getting some—”

“That is quite enough, thank you,” Logan interrupted. He frowned; he couldn’t exactly share any details with Janus about why he’d gone to Virgil’s so unexpectedly in the middle of the night. “I would like to cease discussion of this topic now.”

Janus rolled her eyes. “Fine, fine.” There was a brief silence as they both ate; then Janus looked up. “You haven’t been over for dinner in ages. Patton misses you.” 

Logan hesitated. “I know.” Once Janus had graduated college, joint dinners had alternated between their two residences for some time before settling into a solid routine—weekly at Janus’s, and once a month at Logan’s. This state of affairs had kept up with little interruption for several years. And then Janus had decided, against all Logan’s good counsel, to start dating his intern.

“I don’t work with him, we’re in different departments that have almost no overlap. So it’s not a conflict of interest. Also you can’t make me,” they’d shot off, rapid-fire, when he’d suggested a little more than a year ago that perhaps it might be wiser to remain on friendly terms only with Remus.

He had to admit that, against all his trepidations, the pair of them had made it work remarkably well. And, well, he was hardly in a place to criticize Janus for making less than perfectly sound decisions when it came to dating choices—and unfortunately, Janus knew this and would call him out on his hypocrisy should he try.

The thing was that Janus, together with Virgil, comprised the entire list of people who existed in both Logan’s work life and his personal life. He preferred to keep the two as entirely separate as possible. And Remus, as fond as Logan was of him, was located firmly in the “work” side of his life. Dinners at Janus’s were not work events, they were family events—but now, for the last several months, dinner at Janus’s was an event that included Remus. Hence Logan’s hesitation, a vague tinge of anxiety twisting in his gut despite himself. He had not been to Janus’s apartment for dinner in over six months, though Patton and Janus had come to his own as usual. Still, the frequency of their visits was drastically decreased, a state of affairs that pleased no one.

“He’s safe, you know,” Janus said, eyeing Logan shrewdly. “He’d never tell anyone.” 

Logan frowned. “You cannot predict every eventuality. Knowledge is powerful, and the further it spreads, the harder it is to control. The only ‘safe’ option is to never tell anyone. Two people is already more than I would like, no matter how much I trust you.” 

“He was fucking tortured for you,” Janus said sharply. “He didn’t say a word.” 

Logan froze. “I—I’m sorry, what?”

Janus blinked. “Oh. Right,” she said awkwardly. “I, ah, wasn’t supposed to tell you that.” 

“I—please elaborate?” 

Janus hesitated, but Logan could see the cogs in their brain turning towards the conclusion that at this point an explanation was owed. At last— “It was ages ago now. When he was kidnapped,” Janus said, frowning at his food. “That one time. The day we started dating. By the time I got him out, they’d already tried to get information out of him. He just—” They swallowed. “Just dissociated through it. Told me it was only a little worse than what he’d used to be used to. While I was resetting his dislocated fingers. He said it wasn’t that bad.” Their voice trembled slightly. 

Logan was silent for a moment, resisting the irrational urge to go find Remus right that moment and check that he was okay, apologize for not having known, ask if he knew his own wellbeing was unquestionably more important than any of Logan’s tech.

The kidnapping incident had been over a year ago. A new villain had wanted to come onto the scene with a splash, and had assumed that kidnapping Dr. Logic’s intern would be a good way to lure him out for a fight. To prove them right would have put Remus in danger of repeat incidents, so Janus had gone instead to extract him with as little fuss as possible. Remus had showed up to work the next day with a few bruises and scrapes, but he’d claimed they were superficial and had come about from the brief struggle he’d put up at being grabbed off the street. He hadn’t seemed to be concealing anything, and at the time Logan hadn’t known that Remus had good reason to be able to hide or downplay his injuries and to lie convincingly about their origins.

“Neither of you told me that,” Logan said at last, struggling to keep his tone even, fighting back the urge to be guilty, to tell himself he should have known, should have figured it out, should have looked back once he learned more about Remus’s childhood and put the pieces together, should have done something.

“He asked me not to,” Janus said shortly. “And I saw to it that he got proper treatment for his injuries.”

“Reflection, that was still highly relevant information,” Logan scolded. “His wellbeing is my responsibility, particularly in a situation like that. You should absolutely have come to me and—“

“No,” Janus interrupted. “I should not have gone back on my word to him. He’s an adult, he received the necessary medical attention and then made his own decision about how to move forward. And I was not about to betray the trust of the first guy who saw me having a kid as a good thing and not a—a fucking turn-off.”

That was right; Janus and Remus’s relationship had been so new. Of course Janus would have been in a particularly irrational frame of mind when it came to Remus, just then. Not to say that Logan was wrong. Simply that Janus’s mistake could be explained. He sighed. “Very well. I understand that the past cannot be changed. I also strongly disagree with your decision in retrospect.”

“Sure. Sorry. I’d do it again, though,” she said bluntly. “But my point was—you can trust him. With all of it. I promise you can. He looks up to you so much,” he went on, tender but also intensely sincere. “He’d never share your secrets.” 

Logan drew in a breath. “I… have not come out to anyone in a long time,” he said quietly. While his alter ego was openly trans, he rarely had to actually state it to new acquaintances—people picked up on it from his social media, or the flag on the strap of his wristwatch, or the events he attended. And he was stealth at work. It had been quite a while since he’d had to spell it out.

“Ohh,” Janus breathed, understanding. “You’re scared?”

“No,” Logan protested, then winced at how quick and loud he’d spoken. “I do feel… some trepidation about the idea,” he admitted.

“Okay,” Janus said, serious now. They hesitated, clearly thinking hard about this. “You know, you don't have to tell him,” she offered. “Even as yourself.” 

“No.” Logan shook his head at this idea. “I—I would want to. If I were to interact with him in that context. That is an important part of my other identity.” He drummed his fingers on the table. “I just—I don’t know.” 

“He’s safe,” Janus repeated, this time more gently. “Frankly, he’s more respectful of my gender than I am.” He snickered. “I think he judges me for not raising Patton gender-neutral, actually. Just a bit. Not that he’s ever said anything.”

Logan, who also did that, refrained from commenting. He could hardly fault Janus, who’d been a teenager just beginning to understand their own gender—he’d had to explain so many concepts from the ground up to Janus the first few months he’d known him, even things as basic as pronouns—for not having been prepared to think in the long term about such things. And Patton was certainly doing fine so far.

Janus was still watching him, clearly trying to think up more arguments in Remus’s defense. “I’m not breaking up with him anytime soon, you know,” she said. He crossed their arms. “Not ever, actually. Not if I can help it. So he’s not going to stop being around.”

This was a good point. Logan hesitated again. “I will think about it,” he said at last. In theory, he had no objection to Janus’s proposal. But in practice, it was hard to make the decision when it required breaking so many of his most well-established habits.

“Good.” Janus gave him a small smile. “Let me know. Anytime.”

Logan nodded. “How is Patton doing at Brennan lately?” he asked, changing the subject. 

Janus lit up. “Oh, he’s absolutely beating all the other children into the dust, you know how it is,” they said proudly. “Leaving them all in desperate tears, inconsolable in the face of the knowledge they’ll never be as good as him. Laughing in the face of their despair.” 

Logan blinked and nodded, trying very hard to keep a straight face as he imagined Patton actually doing any of what Janus had just said. “I see. Where are his lessons at lately? Children with emotion-based powers don’t usually start focusing on deliberate control until… seventh grade, isn’t it? So it would be more centered around managing his emotions to build up to that, and learning to use his common powers?” 

“Yes,” Janus confirmed. “He’s been—” 

The lighting in the cafeteria went red. 

“Another one?” Janus asked, sounding surprised and annoyed. Red lights meant a villain incident at the third level or higher had been reported. Two incidents large enough to warrant a red alarm in less than twenty-four hours was… unusual, to say the least, though Logan was not surprised at this particular one. Virgil had been very clear about his intentions for the day, and though he was unlikely to be doing anything that impacted civilians, two villains fighting each other was more than enough to draw attention and get a report filed. 

“I’ll handle it,” he said, holding down the button on his wristwatch that would transmit his voice to the heroes’ intercom channel. “Everyone, please resume normal operations until further notice.” 

Logan made a quick stop at his lab to grab a few gadgets he thought might come in handy, as well as an iced coffee and a bluetooth speaker, before checking the location of the reported incident. Count Ruthless’s lair, as expected. He left without much fanfare—after all, he preferred that this encounter draw as little attention from his coworkers as possible.

-

Taglist (ask to be added/removed!): @the-sympathetic-villain @theimprobabledreamersworld @remy-the-lemon-berry @midnightstorm-underthe-moon @crazydemigod666 @perplexed-kale @did-he-just-hiss-at-me @virgil-is-verge @simplestoryteller @oblivionartworks @so-youre-a-rock-with-issues @emoprincey @theblackcatscratchpost @biwithapie @poettheythem

[i-am-bitterly-jittery]

Little Storm Cloud

The first installment of my superhero/villain au: Virgil's origin story

Unethical Funding (Logan’s origin story)

Word Count: 846

Rating: Teen

Pairings: minor Intrulogical and Roceit

Warnings: minor swearing, implied child abuse

~~~START~~~

Stupid Roman being on his stupid honeymoon. Usually, Logan would have asked Roman to check out the storm with the weird energy signal, but since Roman and Janus were on their honeymoon — gross — Remus had volunteered.

Of course, Remus had volunteered. There was a storm, Logan thought it looked strange, and Roman wasn’t available, so Remus was more than happy to see what was up. If the origins of the energy source were evil though, then Remus might just let the storm go — he was a villain, what could he say?

Volunteering didn’t mean that Remus was particularly pleased to be trudging across town though. It was pouring for Pete’s sake. (And yeah, Remus could control water and therefore protect himself from the downpour, but that wasn’t the point!)

“You’re getting close to the source of the energy signature,” Logan’s staticky voice came through Remus’s earpiece.

“Lolo, this street is abandoned,” Remus told him. He was in the middle of the suburbs — weird place for evil-doing — in the middle of the day, and all he could see were soaked cars, soaked trees, and soaked houses.

“Storms don’t normally emit these readings,” Logan reminded him. “Something has got to be causing it.”

Remus rolled his eyes but trudged on. According to his handheld scanner — one of Logan’s wonderful inventions — the source was coming from the abandoned lot at the end of the block.

The lot was surrounded by fencing and filled with random things that people abandon in lots — old tires, an antique refrigerator, broken furniture — nothing seemed out of place so far.

“I don’t see anything.” Remus carefully picked through the debris, it could be that someone hid some kind of storm generator here, but there wasn’t much evidence for any kind of nefarious plan. “How long do I have to look before calling it a day?”

“If you’re certain that there isn’t anything then maybe—”

“Wait wait shut up,” Remus ordered. There was a sound coming from the far corner of the lot. The sound was barely audible over the rain, but it sounded kinda like someone was crying. “Lolo, I think something’s here.”

“Why would anything be out in this weather?”

“I dunno, I’ll go find out. Hello?” Remus called. “Is someone there? Are you okay? Do you need help?”

“You’re starting to sound like a hero,” Logan commented dryly.

“Shut it,” Remus hissed. He’d almost reached the corner where the crying was coming from.

There! It was—

—a kid?

There was a kid, huddled against the fence, soaking wet and crying. The kid didn’t even have any protection from the downpour, what the hell was it doing out here?

“Hello?” Remus called softly. He wasn’t entirely sure how to talk to kids, but quiet and small seemed like a good idea.

The kid’s head snapped up. It stared at Remus with wide, terrified eyes.

“Are you okay?” The kid still didn’t answer. Remus tried crouching down to be closer to the kid’s level. “Do you need help? What are you doing out in this storm?”

“‘M not supposed to talk to strangers,” the kid murmured.

“A child?”

“Smart,” Remus commented. “But I’m sure you know who I am. I’m The Duke!”

The kid nodded. “You fight the dumb prince guy.”

Remus preened, extending his water umbrella to cover the kid. “I do! Where are your parents? They shouldn’t let you be out here in this weather.”

“My parents are dead,” the kid said bluntly.

“Oh… I’m sorry,” Remus floundered. “Who’s in charge of you?”

“I am fairly certain that the child is the source of the energy signature,” Logan said in Remus’ ear. “Now that I’m getting a clearer reading, it does appear to be a signature consistent with that of an untrained Atmokinetic.”

“I live in a foster home,” the kid answered, unaware of Logan’s commentary. “They probably won’t notice I’m gone.”

“That’s very mean of them.” Remus frowned, what would Roman do in this situation?

“They’re not very nice,” the kid said. “I don’t like them.”

“If you calm him down then the storm should end.”

“Would you like me to kidnap you?” Remus asked. That might not have been a good choice — and it definitely wasn’t what Roman would do — especially when Logan said he needed to call the kid down, but this kid’s guardians didn’t even seem to care that the kid was missing in the middle of a storm. Remus didn’t want to send the kid back to them.

“Will there be food?” The kid asked with such wide, innocent eyes that Remus’ heart just about broke.

Yep, this was his kid now. Logan better be ready to become a father because this was happening.

“Remus…” Logan sounded just as affected as Remus was.

“As much food as you want,” Remus promised gently.

“Okay,” the kid whispered, finally uncurling himself and standing up. Remus stood too. “My name’s Virgil. I’m eight.”

“Hello Virgil,” Remus crooned. “My name is Remus. I’m old as shit.”

Virgil started to laugh as sunshine began breaking through the clouds.

The storm had ended.

~~~END~~~

Thank you @canvas-the-florist for suggesting Roman and Remus have fire or water powers. I know you probably intended Remus to be fire and Roman to be water, but Fire, Red, Passion those are all Roman-y things. Plus it means Remus can call Roman Prince Zuko related nicknames

I had intended to start this AU with Logan's origin story, but Virgil's story called to me

General Taglist: @royalty-of-all-things-snuggly @pixelated-pineapple

[unsymp-sides-content]

I wish you would write a fic where Janus was told constantly when he was younger that the light sides would never love and care for him because he's a snake by the other dark sides. So Janus grew up super self conscious about his snake traits and gets super confused when the other sides compliment them ~🥔

This took forever but I hope you enjoy it

Characters: Janus, Logan, Roman, Patton

Word Count: 1.5k

Janus couldn't remember how old he'd been when he'd first mentioned thinking that his scales were pretty around one of the others. He could remember the way they'd looked at him though, incredulous and amused. And he could remember their laughter.

"Pretty?" they had mocked. "Who in their right mind would find those disgusting things pretty?"

Janus had frowned at that, not knowing what to say and the others had gone back to their conversation. But he hadn't been able to stop thinking about it.

Later that night, he'd stood in front of his mirror, slowly running his fingers over the left side of his face. The scales felt smooth and he slowly turned his head back and forth, watching the way they changed color slightly in the light.

Before, he'd always found it mesmerizing. Now, he couldn't get the others' words out of his head.

By the next morning, he still couldn't stop thinking about it. He paused in the hall after breakfast, staring into the mirror they had there and trying to decide whether his scales were beautiful or hideous. One of the others had caught him looking and sneered at him. "Admiring yourself again? I'm surprised you can stand to look at yourself for that long."

Janus really should have stayed silent then. But he couldn't help himself. "What do you mean?

The other side rolled his eyes. "I mean, you have to know how unnatural they are. All weird and inhuman. It's kind of creepy."

"...Oh." Janus had not, in fact, known that and the words stung more than he would have expected. "You really think they're that bad?"

"We all do. That's why we avoid you so much. Makes it kinda hard to look at you or, you know, like you."

And that, that hurt so much more than Janus had ever realized something could.

All he could manage was another, mumbled "oh" before he hurried back to his room, locking the door behind him.

From that day on, Janus started avoiding mirrors.

It was already too late though. The others used every opportunity they got to remind him how awful his scales were, how unlovable they made him, and how it was hard to even look at him most days.

After a little while, he started avoiding them too. But that didn't help much either. He couldn't get their voices out of his head.

Eventually, he'd simply accepted it. He got rid of all of the mirrors in his room and avoided going out into the mindscape as much as possible. He began wearing gloves so he wouldn't have to look at the scales on his hands. And he learned to accept that none of the light sides would ever love him.

He had expected them to be a little less blunt about their hatred though.

Logan was the first one he noticed it with. Every now and then he would catch the other side looking at him, more specifically his scales, a little too closely. Logan never said anything about it though, and neither did Janus. The others had already made it clear how hideous the snake half of him was, and he didn't need to hear from anyone else.

After a little while though, he started to notice Roman and Patton doing the same thing. They were far more subtle about it than the logical side had been and they at least had the grace to look away and make an excuse when they were caught.

Janus couldn't deny that it still stung, but at least they were kind enough not to say anything to his face. It was far better than anything he'd expected and anything that he was used to. So he could handle it. Even if hurt so much more coming from people he actually cared about. He was strong enough to take it.

Until he wasn't.

He'd already been having a bad day. Thomas had desperately wanted to get out of plans with some of his family and Janus had had to construct some rather intricate lies to convince them to leave him alone. Add the amount of effort it had taken to get Thomas to move past his guilt and agree to lying in the first place, and Janus' patience was running thin.

When he was finally done, he made his way to the living room of the mind palace where the others were gathered, rewatching The Office (despite Logan's protestations). He collapsed onto the sofa with a groan and Roman raised an eyebrow at him. "That bad, huh?"

Janus groaned again in response.

The others went back to the show and after a few minutes Janus sat up, looking around at them.

Patton and Roman seemed genuinely fixed on the show, laughing and joking with each other as they watched. Logan, however, was paying far less attention. He was still watching the show, and he'd chime in with the occasional comment, but every now and then, he'd dart a glance over at Janus. They usually lasted a few seconds and Janus couldn't help but notice the way Logan's eyes slowly passed over his scales each time.

On any other day, Janus would have done his best to ignore it or perhaps made an excuse to go to his room. But today was different. Today, he was already at the end of his rope.

So the fourth time he sensed Logan looking at him, he turned to meet his gaze with a sharp glare. "If you want me to leave that fucking badly, it certainly wouldn't be easier for you to just say that." His voice came out sharper than he'd intended but he couldn't bring himself to care.

Logan frowned at him, looking more confused than genuinely hurt. "I certainly do not want you to leave and I'm not certain what gave you the impression I do."

"Oh fuck off." Janus snapped. He could feel Patton and Roman staring at him too by this point and he ignored them. "I'm not stupid, Logan! I can't see the way you all constantly stare at me! I know my scales are hideous, I know it's hard to look at me, I know you all hate me. I know I'm disgusting."

Patton opened his mouth to say something at this point, but Janus pushed on.

"So if you'd rather not have to see me, fine, just tell me to leave! I don't care. But at least have the decency to say it to my damn face!"

Janus was yelling at this point and he was ashamed to realize there were tears starting to form in the corners of his eyes. He blinked them away quickly, refusing to look at any of the others.

The television was still playing in the background, but it sounded muffled and far away. Janus stared at a spot on the carpet with startling intensity, while the other three looked at him silently.

It was Roman who finally broke the silence. "What are you talking about?" He sounded genuinely confused. "I- none of us find you hideous or want you to leave. Why would we?"

Janus almost laughed at that. "Don't lie to me."

"We're not." It was Logan who spoke this time, shifting so he was directly in front of Janus. "I'm not certain what we did to make you believe this, but none of us hate you or find you repulsive. I cannot speak for the others, but personally, I was only watching your scales out of fascination. I find them quite aesthetically pleasing to look at, but I was worried that vocalizing this might make you uncomfortable."

Janus felt at a loss for words. Logan was lying. He must have been. And yet…. Janus couldn't sense any kind of lie in what he'd said. And the way Logan was looking at him was far too genuine to be anything but honest.

Before he could even start to recover from everything Logan had just said, Roman joined in, nodding.

"Calculator watch is right. Your scales are stunning. The way they glimmer in the light. The way their color seems to change everytime you look at them. Their lovely greenish gold hue, the way they blend so seamlessly into your face…."

Roman had gotten up and slowly started moving closer as he spoke. Now, he knelt in front of Janus and looked up at him earnestly. "They're beautiful. You're beautiful."

And that was finally too much. Janus felt tears spring up in his eyes again and this time there was nothing he could do to stop them. He let out a sob and slid forward, off the sofa and into Roman and Logans' waiting arms. A moment later Patton had joined them as well. He sat on Janus's other side, one hand slowly rubbing his back as he cried.

"It's okay, kiddo, it's okay. We're all here for you, okay?"

Janus couldn't bring himself to respond, simply sobbing harder. He felt the others shift closer to him in response and he let himself relax against them.

"It's okay," Patton murmured again, his voice soft. "We love you."

For the first time in as long as he could remember, Janus actually believed that.

[lexcat-11]

Logan has never been fully accepted (a theory)

Joan has said that they never intended Logan’s name reveal to be angsty, and with its early placement in the series that makes sense. However, I think there is a lot of potential with the fact that Logan never gave his own name.

Consider, when one of the sides gives their name, it’s confirmed by Thomas to be 1. Character Thomas accepting the side and 2. Character Thomas recognizing the side as more than just their initial function that they were first introduced as (morality, creativity, etc.)

Roman is passion, pride/ego, and creativity, Janus is denial, deceit, and self-preservation (in a societal sense), Patton is morality, a portion of emotions, and nostalgia, you get the point. But Logan has always been Logic, nothing else. And he refuses to be anything else. But he is, or could be more.

Logan might represent curiosity.

Let me explain. Logan fears being useless and being afraid, and those fears tie into his greater fear of the unknown. We know this first because of his answer in the first episode when asked about his greatest fear which was, “What exactly is at the bottom of the ocean?” He does not know, and that is frightening. Furthermore, we know of this correlation because of his lovely monologue in CLBG, “If you are afraid, seek knowledge. It is our greatest weapon and our greatest defense.” And if that wasn’t enough, in Embarassing Phases, he also says “I am fearless and therefore powerful,” not to mention his entire response to Remus in Intrusive Thoughts, so there is a definite connection between Logan’s fear and his knowledge.

But with the unknown comes the one area Logan fails to understand: his emotions. There is a look of shock and complete fear on his face after he lashes out at Roman in Learning New Things About Ourselves. His first reaction is apologizing and admitting “I don’t know what that was.” He straight up panics because he does not understand his own behavior. But, what does this have to do with Logan being curiosity? Well, it tells us why he isn’t curiosity yet.

Curiosity is vulnerability. It is asking questions that one does not yet know the answer to and being content with exploring the unknown despite risk. It’s wonder, wondering what could be with what is. It’s nerding out about interests and looking up at the stars and geeking out over that cool fact you learned. And Logan was described as this from the very start! He’s “every fact [Thomas] has ever learned,” and Thomas right after states how he was “...quite the nerd in school.” Logan embodies so much more than logic— he’s the awesome, nerdy interests Thomas has, his passions to persue chemical engineering and to save the environment. Curiosity is the side of Logan that he has been repressing with his emotions for the fear of being vulnerable— of losing control and therefore being useless.

Logan’s been smiling increasingly less in the series, and it’s no secret that he’s been shut down a numerous amount of times. It’s getting to him. He thinks he’s being “invasive” and so he takes the form of Logan’s Lowdown in Putting Others First and becomes a neutral moderator. He’s abandoning taking a stance of his own, abandoning his own opinions and personal contributions! He’s stripping himself down to his most basic, simple function of logic because that is familiar and there is no risk there. If he does his job and does not feel, he cannot be exposed to emotions, and therefore he can not lose control in an emotional situation he is unable to grasp. If he only does what he needs to, then maybe he’ll be respected enough to stick around. He won’t have to leave Thomas alone and defenseless, he’ll be exactly what they need and not some kind of joke.

Logan did not give his own name himself because that would mean accepting and embracing that he exists as more. By telling Thomas Logan’s name, Patton created the impression that the others accepted Logan before he accepted himself. But until Logan is validated and feels secure enough to not have to pretend to be this perfect, robotic, emotionless shell of himself, he is only logic to himself. He does not yet know how much he is loved not only by Patton, but by everyone.

I leave you with this quote from the philosopher Alan Watts which can be found in the song Medicine on Logan’s Playlist:

“Because as Aristotle says, the beginning of philosophy is wonder. Philosophy is man’s expression of curiosity about everything. His attempt to make sense of the world primarily through his intellect; that is to say his faculty for thinking.

[fangirlwriting-stories]

Star-Crossed

Summary: Virgil has known since he was little that some day he's supposed to meet his soulmate and fall in love with them.  You're supposed to date, then fall in love, and eventually ride off into the sunset to the sound of wedding bells and a happy life in front of you.  You're supposed to look forward to meeting your soulmate.  You're supposed to plan your life around them, because you're supposed to want to.

He's not sure what exactly you're supposed to do when someone else gets there first.

There’s a way these things work, Virgil knows.  Of course, everyone’s story is different, because people aren’t made with perfect cookie cutters.  But there’s a general way that these things work.  It involves meeting your soulmate, getting to know them, dating and falling in love, ending with a wedding at an appropriate age.  You’re supposed to be tailor made for each other, your love story written in the stars, to the point where communication is easy and problems aren’t hard to overcome.  Now, that’s of course not how it always works in real life, because people are complicated and problems can be just that.  But it’s supposed to be relatively easy to ride the wave to your happy ending, wedding bells and cheers and riding off into the sunset.

For most of his life, Virgil had craved that ease.  Relationships that didn’t come pre-packaged for success were hard, and he wasn’t very good at them.  It took him until eleventh grade to make any friends.  But even when he did, they were proof that soulmates made everything easier.

Roman, Patton, and Logan had the kind of soulmate story people dream about.  The three of them had been best friends since childhood and started dating in their early teens.  They’d had their general share of problems throughout the years, but overall they were good.  Their story made them popular too, and Virgil couldn’t imagine why they’d taken him under their wing, but here he was.

With popularity-by-association came pressure, though, and Virgil couldn’t name the number of times he’d panicked about what would happen if he didn’t live up to the soulmate story of his friends.  It was what they expected of him, in the way that they never said outright, but Virgil could tell they were thinking it.  He knew for a fact it’s what his parents expected of him, as unlike his friends, they had said it outright.  He wondered why exactly they felt the need to make that clear.  Did they know something?

Because in the end, that was the point, wasn’t it.  Nowhere in the general “way these things work”  did your soulmate story allow you to be here, in your crumbling backyard treehouse, wrapped in the arms of someone you love but shouldn’t as they kissed your damn brains out.

Virgil couldn’t give an exact name for what he and Janus were.  They weren’t quite dating, but they definitely weren’t just friends, if the way Janus’ hand was tangled up in his hair and pulling him closer had anything to say about it.  He did know that Janus made him feel alive, in a way he’d never quite gotten from anywhere else.  He wouldn’t trade Patton, Logan, and Roman for anything, but there were times the expectations they came with made him terrified.  His parents made him feel more trapped than anything else, though he didn’t think that’s what they intended.  But here, with Janus, he felt like the world could burn, and as long as he had Janus there with him, he would be perfectly content to just watch.

Virgil shifted enough to see the outside of the treehouse, and pulled his head up slightly.  “Janus,” he murmured.

“What, I’m busy,” Janus murmured back, shifting his lips on Virgil’s neck.  Virgil gasped and pulled in a breath.

“Janus,” he said again, though his voice sounded significantly higher than a second ago.  “The sun’s rising.”

“Oh, my, alert the media,” Janus said, moving up from his neck to capture Virgil’s lips again.

Virgil pulled back.  “You can’t keep kissing me to shut me up,” he said.

“But it works so well,” Janus crowed, leaning back in.

“Janus,” Virgil groaned, but wrapped his arms around him anyway, letting them both move back slowly onto the floor.

“You have to go, you know,” he murmured in a moment he pulled back to breathe.

“Mmm, I can’t convince you to stay just another half hour?”  He kissed the corner of Virgil’s mouth and Virgil held back a whine.

“You are very persuasive,” he muttered.

“Ah, one of the many reasons you love me,” Janus said, moving to the other corner of his mouth.

“I’ll love you less if we get caught out here,” Virgil said.  “You know how early my dad gets up.”

“Really?  Getting caught during one makeout session, that’s all it takes?”  He pulled Virgil up closer to him, wrapping his arms around his back.

“Janus,” Virgil said, pushing him backwards.  “It’s not about that and you know it.”

Janus sighed, dropping his head onto Virgil’s chest.  “You ruined it with seriousness, Virgil,” he whined.

“It’s going to be ruined with a lot more seriousness if you don’t go,” Virgil said, trying to ignore the way that Janus’ lips still looked so very tempting.

Janus had to have noticed his staring, because he smirked and leaned back in.  “Yes, and it seems like you want me to leave so much,” he whispered, right before connecting their lips yet again.

Virgil heard the soft click of a lightswitch, easy to hear with nothing else going on— well, with only one other thing going on.

Virgil pushed Janus back more firmly.  “Janus,” he said.  He looked over towards the house, where the kitchen light had just come on.

Janus sighed, and laid back down on top of Virgil.  “Curse your early bird of a father.”

“Yeah, he’s the worst,” Virgil said, only half joking.  “I’ll see you on Monday, alright?”

“How ever will I last,” Janus said with a smirk, leaning in one last time and kissing Virgil much more gently, the way he did goodbyes.

Virgil returned the kiss as Janus sat them both up, and pulled back a second later.  “Text me when you get home,” he said.

“I will,” Janus agreed, moving to climb down the treehouse ladder.  Virgil watched him go for a second before leaving himself, climbing across the tree branch that led through his open window.  He made it just in time to look out his window and spot Janus leaving through the gate towards his front yard.  He paused and looked up at Virgil first, giving him a sloppy salute as if saying “There, I did what you wanted.”  Then he turned and vanished into the early morning.

Virgil smiled to himself and sank down against his windowsill.  God, he loved that idiot.

He waited until he got a text half an hour later that Janus made it home before climbing into bed.  It would still be a while before he fell asleep, though, the buzzing feeling Janus left him with made him feel too alive for that.

Not for the first time, Virgil wished that the “way these things work” was something different.

…

“I’m just saying,” Roman said, his arm looped through Logan’s as the three of them walked to class.  “That if you’re going to give students an assignment over break you deserve nothing less than death.”

“Agreed,” Virgil said.

Logan shook his head at them both in disbelief.  “We are students,” he said.  “Our entire job is to learn.  If the teachers have assignments to grade over break, shouldn’t students have something to work on too?”

“No,” Roman said.  “It’s the teachers job to grade assignments.”

“Did you miss the part where I said learning is our job?”

“I don’t see myself getting paid for this shit,” Virgil muttered.  “And I don’t want to write a whole damn essay over break.  I don’t care if ‘learning is my job’ or whatever you think.  The whole point of a break is a vacation.”

“It’s just one essay,” Logan said, raising an eyebrow.  “You can get it done and still have a vacation.”

“Logan, your ‘I can write essays in an hour’ thing is kicking in again,” Roman said.  “It takes most people longer to write an essay than it takes you.”

Virgil didn’t catch Logan’s response, having instead caught Janus’ eyes on the side of the hallway.  Janus looked at him as he passed and smirked, giving Virgil just enough time to think about how absolutely gone he was for this boy before he passed behind them.

“Virgil?”

Virgil jerked around to face Roman.  “What?”

“Don’t you agree?”

Virgil blinked.  “Oh, yeah, absolutely.”

“See!” Roman exclaimed, spinning to Logan like that won the whole argument.  Virgil was happy to help.

They both continued the argument that Virgil had lost all interest in until they reached the lunchroom, where Patton was already sitting at their usual table.

Virgil pulled his phone out as he sat down, because if he’d passed Janus… yep.

 Janus: So how are the universe’s favorite love birds doing

 Virgil rolled his eyes.

 Virgil: You don’t always have to act like you hate them you know

Janus: Excuse you?  They are the worst.  I despise them and everything they stand for

Virgil: They also happen to be the only people who actually tried being my friends

Janus: Ugh

Janus: You and your hatred of loneliness

Virgil: If you want to talk to them they wouldn’t hate it you know

Janus: And surround myself with soulmate perfection stories all the time?  Please

 Virgil sighed.  They both knew he could see right through Janus.  While Virgil now had three close friends and gained the friendliness of everyone else by association, he remembered the things that you said when you didn’t have anyone and were trying to convince yourself you were okay with that.  “As if I want to surround myself with soulmate perfection all the time” was up near the top of the list.  Virgil had said it more than a couple times himself before he realized the soulmate perfection people were actually pretty nice.

“Hey, Virgil, whatcha looking at?”

…About most things.

“Nothing,” Virgil said, putting his phone back in his bag.  “Just making notes of assignment stuff.  Roman’s right, an essay assignment over break is BS.”

“Right?” Roman said, and started launching into his complaints.  Virgil sat back in relief and listened to him start to rant, rubbing his thumb over his phone case in his pocket.

He had other reasons to hate the essay assignment.  He and Janus had been planning what to do over spring break for months.  Janus had gotten his mother’s permission to take the car and go with a friend on a couple of day trips, so long as they didn’t like, leave the state or something.  Virgil had been looking forward to going somewhere fun with Janus, exploring the places Janus had picked out, finding places to be alone… maybe pretending to be soulmates.

Virgil looked down at the name on his wrist and sighed, wishing once again that it said something other than Ethan Baker.

Virgil went through the rest of the day trying to figure out a way to finish that essay before break.  He had a week, but he had other assignments due before break.  He could probably ask Logan for help, come to think of it.  He texted Logan after school as he was heading out to Roman’s car.  Logan stayed after most days to tutor.

 Virgil: Hey, could I maybe stay after Thursday to work on my essay with you

Logan: Sure, I don’t have any tutoring on Thursday.  Try and have an outline and an argument decided on by then, okay?

Virgil: Will do

 Virgil slipped his phone back into his pocket and glanced up as he approached Roman and Patton, who were standing outside Roman’s car waiting for him.

“Sorry,” he said as he ended up in front of them.  “Trying to figure out how to get an actual break.”

“Do you have a plan?” Roman asked, getting into the driver’s seat as Patton took the passenger and Virgil got into the back.

“Yeah, I’m meeting up with Logan on Thursday to write the essay.”

“Oh, can I join?”

“You should ask, but I’m sure he won’t mind,” Patton said.  “I need a treat.  Anyone else want ice cream?”

“Sign me up,” Roman said as he started to back up.  “Jenny’s?”

“Absolutely,” Virgil agreed.  Jenny’s was their favorite ice cream place.  He wanted to find a way to take Janus some day.

Patton texted Logan to meet them there when he was done with tutoring, and then they all headed there.

Virgil grabbed his notebook once they got there and started writing down ideas for his essay in between bites of ice cream.  By the time Logan got there, he had a couple ideas to narrow down, and he pulled out his phone to text Janus.

 Virgil: You don’t have any assignments over break, do you?

Janus: Fuck no.  What monsters do you have as teachers?

Virgil: Don’t worry about it, I’ve got it handled.  Just making sure you’re ready for our trips too

…

Turns out, Janus had quite a few good spots to go to, with different goals in mind.  They went to ice rinks, outlet malls with Hot Topic, and a state park all within the same week.  The park ended up being Virgil’s favorite.  It was filled with giant rocks that people were encouraged to climb on.  They found a high up rock tucked in between trees overlooking a river, and stayed there for hours appreciating the view, and appreciating… other things.  If anyone saw them, the names on their wrists were covered, and people were much more likely to assume they were soulmates than otherwise.

It was as they were getting into the car to leave the park that Virgil turned to Janus.  “Janus?”

“Hmm?”

“We can’t pretend we’re not dating anymore, can we?”

Janus huffed a laugh.  “I don’t think we can,” he said.  “Not really.”

“Should we talk about that?”

“What part of it?”

“You know what part, Jan.”

Janus sighed.  “No, Virgil,” he said.  “I’m not going to force you to tell everyone now just because we’ve admitted we’re dating.  Believe it or not, I like things as they are.”  He leaned over and kissed Virgil as if to make his point.  Virgil’s hands drifted to hold the sides of his face as he kissed him back.

“Hey,” Virgil murmured as Janus pulled away to breathe.

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” Janus replied easily, like he barely had to think about it, and Virgil pulled him closer as sparks lit inside his chest.  It was going to be awhile before they left the park.

…

“What about that hotel, we could stop there.”

“We are not stopping at a hotel, dumbass,” Virgil said, shoving Janus’ head from the side.  “These are supposed to be day trips.”

“Oh, Virgil, how could you deny me the chance to spend a night with you?” Janus asked, throwing a hand up to his forehead as if this was some huge betrayal.

“Don’t you have to be 18 to be able to buy a hotel room anyway?” Virgil pointed out, crossing his arms and smirking.

“Hmm.  Fair enough.  I know a motel a couple miles away, we could try that.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s the same deal.”

“I have a fake ID in the glove box.”

“You what?” Virgil laughed, pulling open the glove box to see that Janus was right.  “Why are we going to a motel and not a hotel if you have a fake ID?”

“So what I’m hearing is we can go to a hotel!”

“Janus!” Virgil groaned, trying to stop smiling.

“What, it’s not like we have school again tomorrow.  We’re not needed anywhere.”

“Yes, well as technically true as that is, tomorrow is still the day we all meet up at Roman’s house to set up the pool and swim.”

All of the mirth faded instantly from Janus’ face.  “Oh.”

“Hey, what?” Virgil asked, furrowing his eyebrows in concern.

“Nothing.  You’re allowed to have other friends,” Janus said, sounding sincere in that.

Virgil sighed.  “Except I never get to see you as is,” he muttered.  “Right?”

“Well… yes,” Janus admitted.

Virgil reached over and grabbed Janus’ hand on top of the steering wheel.  “Come with me, then.  I’ll ask them if you can come.  I’m sure they’ll say yes.”

“Oh?  And what will you say?  ‘Hey, are you three with your perfect fairy tale story ending cool with me bringing my boyfriend that isn’t my soulmate over to your house?”

“Well of course I wouldn’t say that,” Virgil said, rolling his eyes.  “I’ll probably say you’re a friend I’ve met.”

Janus sighed and shook his head.

“Janus,” Virgil said, checking to make sure no other cars were around before pulling his hand onto the middle console.  “Come with me.  You can wear a swimsuit and look hot and make me wish I could come over and kiss your face off.”

Janus gave him a look, and Virgil could see his answer before he said it.

“Maybe another time, Virgil,” he said, pulling his hand away and putting it back on the wheel.

They made the rest of the trip home in silence, and after a while Virgil leaned on the window and fell asleep.

…

“LOGAN, LOOK OUT!” was all the warning that Logan got before Roman landed right on top of him and sent them both underwater.  Virgil started swimming over to them instantly, but both heads popped out of the water before he got there, though Logan was rubbing his and looked in pain.

“Do you never look before you leap into pools?” Logan asked, glaring at Roman.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Roman said, grabbing Logan’s head and starting to look it over.  “Here, I can kiss it better.”

“That is not how medical care works,” Logan said, as Roman kissed the area of his head he’d landed on.

“Oh for goodness sake, specs, I’m being sweet.” Roman said, continuing to look his head over.  “You look okay.  You want to get out for a minute?”

“I am alright.  I think a headache is forming after that, but I don’t feel I need medical attention.”

“Medical attention?  What happened?” Patton called, emerging from the house with a platter of various snacks.

“Roman was being the idiot he usually is and leapt right on top of Logan instead of just into the water,” Virgil said, swimming back over to lean against the side of the pool.

“Oh my goodness, are you two okay?” Patton said, setting the platter down and rushing over to the side of the pool.

“We’re alright, Patton,” Logan reassured, catching Patton’s hands before they could start fluttering over him in worry.  “Neither of us are seriously injured.”

“Good,” Patton muttered, kissing Logan quickly, and then moving on to do the same for Roman.  Virgil looked away, trying not to feel bitter.  He looked over at his phone, sitting over by his clothes, and debated going over to call Janus and make him get his ass over here.

He missed his boyfriend.  How had he gotten so used to seeing him every day so quickly?

The sound of people climbing out of the pool roused his attention, and Virgil saw Patton waving him over for the snacks he’d brought.  He pushed himself out of the pool and headed over to eat them, trying to push Janus out of his mind.

“You know, I heard there was going to be a new student coming to school after break is over,” Logan said.

“Ugh, of course you care about stuff like that,” Roman said, rolling his eyes and giving Logan an endeared smile.

“No, there was something about him.  His name sounded familiar, but I’m not sure why.”

“What’s his name?” Patton asked, popping a grape in his mouth.

“Um… Ethan, I think.  Ethan Baker.”

Virgil’s blood ran cold.  “What?”

Logan glanced over at him.  “What?”

“Oh my gosh, Logan!” Roman exclaimed.  “Why didn’t you say anything?  That’s Virgil’s soulmate, you dummy!”

Logan’s confused look cleared.  “Oh, that’s why it sounded familiar,” he said.  “Well, congratulations, Virgil.  Unless it’s a different Ethan Baker, it sounds like you might get to meet your soulmate soon.”

Virgil stood up suddenly and stumbled a few steps back.

“Virgil?” Patton asked, standing up and looking concerned again.  “Are you alright?”

“Um,” Virgil said, still moving backwards.  “I—”

Roman jumped up.  “Virgil, stop, you’re going to—”

The ground disappeared from under Virgil’s feet and his heart leapt into his throat a second before he hit the water, thankfully in a deep enough part of the pool that he didn’t hit his head on anything.

Maybe he could just stay down here and never have to face the reality that Logan just presented him with.

Unfortunately, a hand reached down into the water and pulled him upwards until he was above the surface and looking at Roman’s concerned face.

“Are you alright?” Roman asked, helping him out of the pool and sitting down next to him.

Virgil yanked his hand away and wrapped his arms around himself.  “Fine,” he muttered.  “I’m fine.  Everything’s fine.”

“Hey, kiddo,” Patton said, sitting on his other side.  “I get it.”

Virgil looked over at him.

“It’s okay,” Patton said, smiling.  “Of course meeting your soulmate is scary.  I was scared when I met Roman and Logan.”

“You were a kid,” Virgil pointed out.

“And?  You’re not allowed to be scared because you’re a little older than I was?  Virgil, it’s alright.  No one is going to blame you for being scared.  You don’t even have to meet him right away if you don’t want to.”

Something in Virgil’s chest lightened at the thought.  “I don’t?”

“Well, I wouldn’t conceal it from him,” Logan said, sitting down on the other side of Patton.  “You should tell him who you are.  But if you’re not ready for a relationship or even a friendship you can tell him that.”

“I can?” Virgil asked, as his heartbeat continued to slow.

“Oh, kiddo, of course,” Patton said, grabbing Virgil’s hand and squeezing it.

“This is your soulmate, Virge,” Roman said, and Virgil glanced over at him.  “You’re matched up for a reason.  He’s going to understand if you’re not ready.  And even if things are bumpy, it’ll be alright eventually.  I mean just look at my parents.”

Virgil wasn’t sure what Roman’s parents had to do with anything.  Roman had two dads who seemed as in love as any other soulmates Virgil had ever seen.

“Just relax, Virgil,” Roman said with a smile, cutting off his thoughts.  “There’s no reason to freak out before you even meet the guy.  You don’t know what he’ll be like.  Just keep that in mind.”

Virgil leaned forward and rested his head on his knees.  “Okay,” he murmured.  “I’ll do that.”

“These things tend to work themselves out, kiddo,” Patton said.  “That’s what soulmates are all about.”

Virgil’s test tightened again.  That’s kind of what I’m afraid of.

…

“Okay, I got your frantic text,” Janus said, pulling himself up into the treehouse.  “What’s going on?  Why are we meeting tonight when school starts again tomorrow?”

Virgil was grateful in the moment that he must have looked outwardly anxious in his position of being tucked against the back wall with his arms around his knees, because otherwise Janus definitely would have made some kind of joke about him being just that irresistible.

“There’s a new student coming to school after the break,” Virgil said.  “Named Ethan Baker.”

Janus shut his eyes and let out a long, slow breath.  He clearly knew what that meant.  He moved across the treehouse and sat in front of Virgil.  “Okay.  What do you want to do then?”

“What do you mean what do I want to do?” Virgil asked, staring at him.  “Janus, I want him not to come.”

“Yeah.  I figured.  But that doesn’t change the fact that he’s coming.  So what do you want to do?”

Virgil didn’t have an answer.  He didn’t want to think about it, or have to make this decision.  He didn’t want his parents to reject him.  He didn’t want Patton and Logan and Roman to hate him.  He didn’t want to go back to being alone and friendless, and especially not while dating someone who wasn’t his soulmate.  He’d be ostracized, and even when he was lonely, he hadn’t dealt with any level of vitriol.  But the issue was that, at the same time…

He wanted Janus.  He wanted this, stolen nights in a broken down treehouse and day trips over spring break and Janus’ wit and sarcasm and hatred for all things soulmates.  He just didn’t know if that want was strong enough to override all of the things that he didn’t want.

“I want…” he said after a moment.  “I want to meet him.  Who knows, maybe he’s an asshole who can fuck right off.”

“Maybe,” Janus said, in a tone that said ‘hopefully,’ but also in a way that meant he didn’t really believe that.

“Look,” Virgil said.  “What I want is to not decide anything before I meet him.  Let’s just do things like normal.  I’ll see you here on Friday.”

Janus looked at him for a moment, and nodded.  He turned as if about to leave, and suddenly Virgil wanted to scream at him to stop.  That would have been incredibly stupid, though, so instead he reached out and grabbed Janus’ arm.

Janus turned back to face him.

“What was that you said about wanting to spend a night with me?” Virgil asked, trying on a wobbly smile.

“I meant under different circumstances,” Janus said, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, yes, but…” Virgil tried to figure out a way to say Don’t leave me like this without using those exact words.

Janus seemed to read it in his face.  “Okay,” he said, and he turned back around, thank god.  “But I’m not sleeping in a treehouse.”

Virgil nodded.  “Follow me,” he said, and climbed back across the branch into his bedroom, showing Janus where to put his hands and feet.

Janus dropped quietly down into the bedroom after him, and suddenly soulmates were gone from his mind, and the only thing Virgil could think about was that Janus was in his room.

When was the last time he’d cleaned up again?

Janus was smiling as he looked around.  “Wow, Virgil, you’re a regular neat freak, aren’t you?”

“Shut uuuup,” Virgil groaned, shoving his shoulder and stepping over various items as he started towards his bed.  Janus followed, and toed off his shoes at the edge.

“Here,” Virgil said, taking a short detour to his dresser and handing Janus one of his hoodies and a pair of sweatpants to sleep in.  He crawled into bed as Janus changed, and then joined him a minute later, wrapping his arms around his waist.  Virgil leaned back against him.

“I set an alarm so I’ll get up and leave,” Janus said.

“Okay,” Virgil murmured.  He was quiet for a minute.  “Hey Janus?”

“Hmm?”

“I still love you.”

“I love you too,” Janus whispered, kissing the top of Virgil’s head, which made Virgil feel warm in an entirely different way from how he felt after a makeout session.  He fell asleep still warm all over.

…

Virgil recognized Ethan by finding his name on his wrist, which really just felt like one more way for the universe to laugh at him.  But Logan was right.  He couldn’t just hide from Ethan the fact that he was his soulmate.  So instead, he walked up and tapped him on the shoulder, feeling like he was sealing his fate.

Which he supposed, in a way, he was.

Ethan turned with a slightly curious smile.  “Hello,” he said.

“Ethan Baker?”

Ethan nodded, looking more curious.

“Uh,” Virgil waved his wrist.  “I’m Virgil Storm.”

Ethan’s eyes widened.  “Oh.  Oh, my goodness!”

“Yeah,” Virgil muttered, trying to make his smile look happier than he felt.

“Well, hi!” Ethan said, starting to smile much wider.  “It’s so lovely to meet you, Virgil!  I never would have thought—”  The warning bell rang overhead.

“Oh, damn that thing,” Ethan muttered, looking up at it.  “I wish we had more time to talk.”

“What class do you have?” Virgil asked.

“Uh… Holden.  English.”

Virgil tried to smile wider.  “Well, I’ve got good news then.  That’s my class too.  Want to walk with me?”

“Oh, awesome!” Ethan said.  “Yes, please!  It’s so good to meet you!”

“You too,” Virgil said, falling into step beside Ethan as they started down the hallway.

Come on, Virgil.  Give the guy a chance.  Maybe this will all work out fine and he is an asshole.  Maybe he’s about to say something super dick-ish right now.  Here it comes.

Ethan beamed over at him.  “I should have known you’d be even more gorgeous than I pictured,” he said.

Goddammit.

…

Ethan wasn’t an asshole, by any stretch of the imagination.  Virgil really tried, he tried so hard to hate him.  It should be easy, he was an expert at hating people for no reason!  He tried twisting all of Ethan’s words and actions into the most despicable light he could manage.  But Ethan was just too damn sweet.

He was gentle and caring.  His smile could light up a room.  He got along perfectly with all of Virgil’s friends.  Virgil was pretty sure he tried harder than anything else he’d ever done in his life, but he just couldn’t hate him.  Why couldn’t he hate him?  Was this the universe fucking with him?  Was there some kind of genetic thing that kicked in that made people incapable of hating their soulmates?

Or was Ethan just that fucking nice?

Either way, Virgil couldn’t hate the guy.  He wanted to, but he couldn’t.  Maybe that was why he was hiding here.  Virgil looked up from the stage, glad at least that the auditorium was big as well as empty.

He just couldn’t go back to class, where everyone would be staring at him and Ethan like all of their future problems were solved now.  He buried his head in his knees.  He wanted to get out of here.

He didn’t register any kind of bell ringing, but one must have, because doors opened and people started coming in, and Virgil remembered that there were drama classes in the auditorium.  He jumped up and headed backstage, trying to control his now much worse breathing.  He’d be fine, he just had to last until everyone starting doing things and then he could—

“Virgil?”

Of course.  Of course he would be here.

“Hey,” Ethan said, coming backstage.  “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Virgil shook his head.  “No,” he choked out.  “No, I don’t want—”  He yanked his hood over his head and pulled hard on the strings until his face was obscured.

“Okay, okay, you don’t have to tell me.  Just come here, alright?  People are going to be coming back here soon.”

Virgil grabbed onto his hand when it was offered because he didn’t know what else to do, and they ended up in what looked like a prop area underneath the stage.

“Hey, breathe with me, okay?  I’m gonna count to four, try and breathe in.  It’s okay if you can’t make it all the way there.”

He started doing that, and waited so damn patiently until Virgil finally managed to calm down, and the whole time he didn’t make a single sudden move, and Virgil wished that he wanted him to leave.

When Virgil was breathing normally again, Ethan just smiled gently and leaned back.  He didn’t ask a damn thing about what happened.  He just said “You okay?” in a way that meant it would be totally fine if the answer was no.

Virgil took a shaky breath and nodded.  “Thank you,” he whispered, because Ethan was good at that, and he hadn’t met another person who knew how to do anything like this before he told them.

“Of course,” Ethan said with a nod.

“How did you know what to do?” Virgil asked.

“My little sister gets panic attacks sometimes.  I wanted to learn how to help her, so I did some research.”

Virgil nodded.  “Guess that’s lucky,” he muttered.  He looked up at Ethan.  “Ethan?”

“Yeah?”

“What do you want from this?”

Ethan looked confused.  “From what?”

“Me.  What are you looking for?”

“Well, a soulmate,” Ethan said, like that should be obvious.  “I don’t want to start dating you if you’re not ready, of course, but eventually.  I— I like you, Virgil,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck as he started to blush.  “I’d love a relationship with you once you’re ready.”

What if I’m never ready, Virgil didn’t say.  He shut his eyes and leaned back against the wall behind him.

“Virgil,” Ethan said, and Virgil opened his eyes again.  “If you are not ready to date me, we don’t have to date yet.  Is that what you’re panicking about?”

“I… don’t know,” Virgil lied.

“I’m not going to rush you,” Ethan said, taking a small step forward.  “Or push you.  I want to move at a pace we’re both comfortable with, and if that means I have to wait, I’m okay with that.  For now, I would be more than happy to be your friend, Virgil Storm.”

Virgil looked back at his soulmate, with the universe stamp of approval.  It was the ‘for now’ part of that statement he was going to have issues with.  But then again, maybe for now… that would be fine.

…

Virgil’s entire body melted with relief when Janus appeared in the doorway of the treehouse.

“Janus,” he said, climbing up and moving across to meet him.  He started to pull Janus down into a kiss, only to be stopped by Janus pushing back a second later.

“Janus?”  He stopped moving when he noticed the look on Janus’ face.  “Janus, what’s wrong?”

“Virgil, we need to talk,” Janus said.

“Oh, hardly,” Virgil said, starting to smile.  “I have good news.  Ethan says we don’t have to date if I’m not ready.  And I’m not.  So…”  He leaned up to pull Janus down to him again.

Janus sighed and pushed him back.  “Virgil.”

Virgil stopped smiling.  “What?”

“Did you miss the not ready part of that sentence?” Janus said, sitting down across from him.  “He definitely wouldn’t be comfortable with you dating other people in the meantime.”

Virgil scowled.  “I don’t owe him anything.”

“Yes, you do.  He’s your soulmate.”

“And since when does that kind of thing matter to you?  Part of the whole damn reason you fell for me is because I’m not your soulmate.  You hate soulmates.”

“But you don’t,” Janus said, looking firmly at him.  “Virgil, I saw you with him.  You don’t hate him.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m in love with him!  I love you.”

Janus sighed.  “Virgil.”

“What?”

“You can’t possibly see yourself falling for him?  There’s no chance you could end up in love with him even more than you are with me?”

Virgil leaned back.  “What— Janus.  It’s not about that.”

“What’s it about then, Virgil?  Come on, he seems made for you.  That’s what they say soulmates are supposed to be, don’t they?”

Virgil narrowed his eyes.  “I don’t care.”

“Oh, so you don’t care about whether or not your family wants you to be with him?  Or your friends?  Or everyone else?”

Virgil winced.  “That’s different.”

“I’m not going to push you into the limelight like that, Virgil.  You seem uncomfortable now, when you’re doing what everyone expects of you.  If someone found out you were dating me, I…” Janus shook his head, looked more helpless than Virgil had ever seen him before.  “I can’t do that to you,” he finished, shifting backwards slightly.

“Don’t you think that should be my decision?” Virgil said, crossing his arms.

“Well, I’m making it.  I’m sorry.”  Janus stood up and started for the ladder.

“Wh- wait, Janus!” Virgil moved and started climbing down after him, catching his arm before he could run from the backyard.

Janus sighed, then turned and faced him.  “It’s okay,” he said.  “We’ll be okay.  Don’t try and stop yourself from falling for him, Virgil.  I won’t even be a little mad, I promise.”

“Janus, please.”  Virgil tried to pull him back, but Janus wouldn’t budge.  “What— what if I don’t see you again?”

Janus smiled sadly.  “How ever will I last,” he whispered, leaning in one last time and kissing Virgil gently.

The way he did goodbyes.

He pulled his hand out of Virgil’s and ran for the back gate, slipping through it and into the night.

…

When Virgil had no reason to try and dislike Ethan, liking him was much easier.  He was sweet, and very cute when he was excited, which tended to happen whenever he talked about theatre, which was his favorite part of school (he got along well with Roman).  He knew how to help Virgil if he was panicking, and he took an interest in the kinds of things Virgil liked.  Virgil tried so hard to return the favor, but he couldn’t make himself interested for very long.  That… that was okay.  That would change with time.

For all of Virgil’s fears about what having a soulmate would do to his relationship with Janus, now that the worst had happened, having one actually having one wasn’t so bad.  Ethan was easy to care about, and easy to spend time with, even if their interests didn’t always line up.  Virgil would fall in love with him.  He just needed a little more time.

These things worked themselves out, Patton said.  That had to be true.

Virgil’s parents were thrilled to meet Ethan.  His mom got along with him really well, and his dad seemed approving, if his smiles and nods to Virgil were anything to go by.  His mom was astounded when Ethan mentioned they weren’t dating yet.

“Why in the world not?” she asked, looking over at Virgil across the dinner table.

“It’s just… a big step,” Virgil muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.  “I don’t know.”

“Hmm,” his mom said, in the way she did when she thought Virgil was being too anxious about something.  “I suppose that’s fair.  Take your time, of course.”

“It’s not just him,” Ethan said suddenly.  “I don’t want to rush things either.  We both decided to just take it slow.”

Virgil smiled gratefully at him, glad for the save. Ethan gave his hand a quick reassuring squeeze under the table.

They went up to Virgil’s room after dinner, and Ethan seemed concerned.  “Is your mom always that pushy?” he asked, as Virgil shut the door.

“She just… wants me to push myself,” he said.  “She thinks I would be more satisfied if I took more risks, went after what I want.”

“What if you don’t know what you want?” Ethan asked, raising an eyebrow.

“And therein lies the main problem in my relationship with my mother,” Virgil sighed, looking up at the ceiling.

Ethan chuckled a little, moving to lean against the wall next to the door.

Virgil worried his lip between his teeth, and looked back at Ethan.  “You’re really okay with moving slowly?”

“Virgil, I told you,” Ethan said, smiling genuinely at him.  “I want you to be comfortable.”

“You want to be with me though,” Virgil said.

“I… do,” Ethan admitted.  “But if you’re not ready for that, I don’t want to rush you.”

Virgil looked at him a moment longer.  Ethan wasn’t bad looking.  Virgil liked him as a person.  Maybe in order to make the switch into liking him romantically, he just had to force it a little.

He took three steps across the room and kissed Ethan square on the mouth.  Ethan made a muffled noise of surprise, and Virgil pulled back instantly.  Idiot, you need to ask before doing something like that, you moron.

“I’m sorry!” Virgil said, stepping back.  “I’m sorry, I just— I—”

Ethan cut him off by reaching up and pulling him back in to kiss him again, and in the moment, all Virgil felt was relief that he hadn’t freaked him out or pissed him off.

He could do this.  He’d done this a hundred times with Janus, he just had to… go through the motions.  Come on, Virgil.  You know what you’re doing.

He pulled Ethan with him as he stumbled back across the room and pulled them both onto his bed, wrapping his arms around his back and trying to push himself a little farther.  He’d start feeling something any second now, he just needed to—

“Okay, okay, woah,” Ethan pushed him back, panting.  “I need to breathe.”

Virgil leaned back.  “Sorry.”

“Hey, no apologies necessary,” Ethan said, grinning at him.  “You… you’re very good at this.”

Virgil felt his cheeks grow warm.  “You wouldn’t guess, huh,” he muttered.

“Absolutely not a bad surprise,” Ethan said.  “It just might be my turn to ask you to slow down a tad.”

Virgil nodded.  “Okay.  You’ve got it.”  He looked down and fidgeted with his fingers.  “Want to watch a movie?”

“That sounds nice,” Ethan said, still looking very happy with the situation.  Virgil leaned over the side of his bed and grabbed his laptop as Ethan sat up.

It’s okay.  It’s okay.  You’ll fall for him.  You just need a little more time.

…

Time passed, and Virgil didn’t fall for him.  He didn’t know what else to do.  He tried to come up with something to make it better, some kind of “at least” to work off of.  At least Ethan was nice.  At least he was pretty.  At least everyone else was happy for him.  At least Janus didn’t hate him.  None of them seemed to work.

Virgil was quickly becoming the soulmate envy of all just like Patton, Roman, and Logan, and feeling absolutely miserable because of it.  He hadn’t shown it, of course.  He’d beamed at Ethan and kissed his cheek before classes and smiled and rolled his eyes in endearment whenever someone asked him how knowing his soulmate felt.

He couldn’t stand it.  He was pretty sure he’d never felt less like himself.  But Patton and Logan and Roman all smiled at him like they thought he was happy, and so did his parents, and so did Ethan, so Virgil tried to brush aside the miserable feeling in his chest and fool himself like he’d fooled everyone else.

He hadn’t expected a change to come from Roman.  With his general romanticism and his perfect soulmate story, he’d expected Roman to be the last person to be able to tell when someone wasn’t happy with theirs.  He’d noticed the occasional suspicious look sent his way by him, but he’d managed to brush it off.  He certainly hadn’t expected Roman to say anything.

On the day he did, Virgil had already been feeling pretty shitty.  It was around lunchtime, Ethan was sitting next to Virgil and smiling at him as they both ate, riveting them all with a story about what had happened during drama class.  Virgil had mastered the art of smiling and nodding along, and that’s what he was doing when he turned at just the wrong time and met eyes with Janus, who looked as miserable as Virgil felt.

His eyes widened when their gazes met, and Virgil tried to think of the last time he’d seen Janus in any way.  Janus was very good at disappearing.

As if proving his point, Janus looked away and disappeared into the crowded room like a ghost.

Virgil stood up and pushed his chair back, saying something about going to the bathroom before all but sprinting from the lunchroom.

About halfway to the bathroom he realized that was a mistake, because it was just going to make Ethan come looking for him, so he veered right to head out to the football field.  He sat on the bleachers and buried his head in his knees, trying to quiet any of his rushing thoughts.

“You are going to seriously hurt someone.”

Virgil jerked upwards and saw Roman walking up the side of the bleachers towards him, arms crossed and looking firm.

Virgil swallowed, recovering his bearings as Roman stopped in front of him.  “What?” he asked.

“Virgil, if you don’t love Ethan you need to tell him that.”

Virgil’s mouth went dry.  “What are you talking about, I do—”

“No.  You don’t.”

Virgil looked away.  “But I have to.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Virgil.  You clearly don’t.”

“But he’s my soulmate.  What… what else is there?” Virgil asked, like he didn’t know the answer to that question by heart.

Roman didn’t reply right away.

Then suddenly, Virgil was pulled up off the bleachers and into a hug.

“Oh, Virgil,” Roman whispered.  “Virgil.  There is so much more if you want it.”

Virgil blinked quickly, trying to hold back the tears welling in his eyes.  “What?”

Roman leaned back.  “Virgil, what on earth made you think that all soulmate bonds have to be romantic?”

“What— but you— but they are,” Virgil insisted.  “That’s just how soulmates work.”

“Well, that doesn’t seem very fair,” Roman said, smiling gently.  “First of all, aromantic people would be shit out of luck if all soulmate bonds had to be romantic.” Roman’s look turned curious.  “I have told you about my mother before, right?”

“Your mother, what— don’t you have two dads?”

“Not always.  My mother married my father before she realized she didn’t experience romantic attraction.  She ended up divorcing dad, but they’re still close friends.  That’s how their soulmate bond works, but my dads aren’t soulmates.  And mom lives with Remus.  He and I are soulmates, but that’s definitely not romantic.”

“Who’s Remus?” Virgil asked.

“My brother,” Roman said, waving his hand dismissively.  “He and mom live a couple districts over.  He���ll come over here more often on summer vacation and you can meet him.  Point is, soulmate bonds aren’t inherently romantic, nor should they be, in my opinion.”

“But… but you’re in love with Patton and Logan,” Virgil said weakly.

“Because I choose to be, Virgil.  The three of us don’t have to be dating.  I know that’s what most people tend to do, but it’s not fair to expect that of everyone.  What if you don’t want a partner right then?  Or ever?  What if you fall in love with someone who isn’t your soulmate?”

Virgil’s blood ran cold, and he took a step back, almost stumbling into the bleachers.  “Who told you?” he whispered.

Roman’s face fell.  “Oh, Virgil,” he said.  He moved forward and pulled Virgil into a hug again.  “No one told me, Virge.  I’m so sorry.”

Virgil’s breathing started to shake, and he pushed himself back from Roman.  “I thought— I thought you wouldn’t understand,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around himself.  “Because your soulmate story is so perfect.  I thought you wouldn’t—”

“A lot of people don’t,” Roman said quietly.  “I’m not going to tell you you’re wrong for being afraid.  But right now all you’re doing is hurting Ethan, and yourself, and the other person you love.”

Virgil sat down on the bleachers and buried his head in his hands.  Roman, after a moment, sat down next to him and put an arm around his shoulders.

“I have to break up with him, don’t I,” Virgil muttered.

“I’m not going to tell you what you should do in that regard,” Roman said.  “But I think you should strongly consider telling him what’s going on.”

Virgil nodded.  “I thought I could make myself love him,” he whispered.

“Love doesn’t work like that, Virgil,” Roman whispered.

“It would be easier if it did,” Virgil muttered.

“Yes,” Roman agreed.  “But then you wouldn’t get to have the person you love now.  Is that what you want instead?”

Virgil shook his head instantly.  He hadn’t wanted to lose Janus in the first place.  He didn’t want to trade him for anything.

“Do you want to stay out here for a while?” Roman asked.

“I want you to go get Ethan,” Virgil said firmly.

Roman blinked, seeming surprised.  “Right now?”

Virgil nodded.  “Yes.”

Roman still looked hesitant.  “Are you—”

“I’m sure.”

Roman must have seen he meant it, because a second later he nodded.  “Alright.  I’ll be back.  Um, advice, don’t dance around the subject.  Be straightforward and genuine, but also gentle if you can.”

Virgil nodded.  “Okay,” he said, and Roman left.  Virgil leaned back against the bleachers and took a deep breath.  This wasn’t going to be fun.  It may not be romantic in nature, but he did love Ethan, and he didn’t want to hurt him.  He leaned forward and buried his head in his hands again.  Why had he thought this would last?

“Virgil?”

Virgil jerked upright and spun around, because that wasn’t Ethan’s voice.

Sure enough, there was Janus, standing just at the edge of the bleachers and looking concerned.

Virgil leapt to his feet.  “Where the hell have you been?” he snapped.

“I saw you run off, I wanted to make sure you’re okay—”

“Not what I meant.  You completely ignore my texts and then you avoid me at school?  You asshole.”

Janus turned his hands upwards, looking a little offended.  “What, did you want me to hang around all the time?”

“I didn’t want you to leave in the first place you idiot,” Virgil snapped, jumping down from the bleachers and storming over to stand in front of Janus.  “You were clearly miserable on your own.”

“And you were fine,” Janus said, stepping towards him.  “I was trying not to be selfish for once.”

“Oh, I was fine?” Virgil said, throwing his hands to the sky.  “Janus who’s spent most of these past months avoiding me thinks I was fine.  Never mind then.”

“I thought you wanted to do what everyone expected of you,” Janus snapped.  “It’s not like you ever wanted to fight for me.”

“Oh, fuck you, Janus!  I wanted what everyone expected of me because that made me feel safe.”

“And you don’t want that?”

“No, right now I just want to feel alive again,” Virgil said, moving forward until he was nose-to-nose with Janus.  “Which is kind of hard to do considering I’m starting to spend my whole life going through the motions.”

“Why would you need me to change that?”

“Moron,” Virgil said, and pulled Janus into a kiss, desperate and passionate and making up for all of the months he’d been gone.

They both pulled apart when a gasp came from nearby.

Virgil spun around to see Ethan standing at the edge of the walkway leading up to the field.

“Wait,” Virgil said, stepping towards him.  “Wait, that’s not how this was supposed to happen.  Ethan—”

Ethan spun around but didn’t leave, and Virgil moved across the field until he was right behind him.

“You’re never like that with me,” Ethan murmured.

“I’m sorry, this wasn’t supposed to be how I did this—”

“But you were going to do this.  You were going to leave me for him.  He’s not even your soulmate.”

“I know.  I… I’m sorry.  I do love you, Ethan.  Just not…”

“Not like I love you,” Ethan said, looking over his shoulder at Virgil.

Virgil winced.  “I’m sorry.”

Ethan laughed a little and looked down.  “I think I kinda knew it, you know?  I just wanted… I wanted to be enough for you.  But I was never going to be, was I?”

Virgil started to reach for him, but stopped and dropped his hand.  “I’m sorry,” he said again.  “You can… you can hate me if you want.”

Ethan looked up at him again.  “But you don’t want that.”

“Not everything has to be about what I want,” Virgil said quietly.

Ethan turned to face the school.  “I… I’m going now, Virgil,” he said.  “I’ll call you if I’m ever ready to talk again.”

“Okay,” Virgil whispered.  “Take care, Ethan.”

“You… you too,” Ethan said, and then he walked away.

Virgil watched him until he was gone, and then turned around to face Janus, who was casually looking around back in the middle of the field.  He looked back at Virgil when he started walking across to meet him.

“All good?” Janus asked, like he already knew the answer.

Virgil shook his head.  “No.”

Janus nodded.  “Yeah,” he muttered.

They both looked at each other for a moment.

“Janus?”

“Virgil?”

“Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

Janus started grinning, and held out his hand.  Virgil grabbed it, and they both started running.  They made it to Janus’ car, and both got in, and drove.  And drove, and planned to drive some more.

Nothing was fixed.  They’d have to come back and face the music eventually.  Virgil had to tell Patton and Logan what happened.  He’d need to tell Janus about Roman’s parents.  They’d have to figure out a way to make this work, actually work, work in the way they both wanted.

But for now, they rolled down the windows, and drove out of the suburbs and out under the open sky.  Virgil screamed My Chemical Romance lyrics at the top of his lungs.  More than once throughout the drive he checked to make sure no other cars were around and leaned in to kiss Janus’ face off.  He had a lot of lost time to make up for, after all.

And now, hopefully, a lot of time to do it.

Part 2

[aidensm8]

Random vampire AU ramble just cause it was too tempting

Setting:

All the light sides are vampires, the dark sides are hunters

Patton is head of his own vampire manor

Remus and Roman were born human twins (still a prince and a duke)

Janus is a shapeshifter who became a hunter to protect his friend from a demon that friend made a deal with

Logan is the average working human

Virgil is also a normal human who wanted to make a legacy and so he ran away and became a hunter

__

Storyline:

Patton’s is a pureblooded vampire who owns his own manor, he has gargoyles and other newer vampires to serve him

Logan is a regular human who was stressed about work, he one day runs into the dark woods in a fit of anger when his boss and coworkers piss him off

Logan cools down but then realizes he’s lost

A creature finds Logan, severely injuring him

Patton is out on a hunt when he stumbles into Logan. He feels pity and asks Logan if he can try to save him

Logan says “I doubt there’s anything you can do to save me but yes…” while hoping the stranger meant giving him a merciful death

Logan is surprised when he awakens in a fancy room, his wounds seemingly gone. He feels a huge wave of relief that he’s alive but is now anxious of what to do when he goes back home. He’s panicking but tries to calm down to figure out his situation

Studying his surroundings, he notices that the room has no mirrors

His thoughts are interrupted when one of Patton’s “servants” come to check on him. They give him spare clothes and tell Logan that they’ll inform the master that he’s awake

When Patton enters the room, Logan’s worries are calmed. He recognizes Patton as the stranger who saved him and asks him what he did

Patton apologizes profusely and tells Logan that he is a vampire now

Logan is shocked but now trying to figure what to do, how his job would react

Patton offers to let Logan stay with him, to be his advisor or keeper of the archives

Logan takes a moment to think, he has no friends nor attachments to his human life. He has a chance to feel happy, but knows the feeling of guilt from “running away” from his duties will haunt him

Patton reads his emotions, sensing the guilt, and assures Logan that he’s free to start over, to choose what’s best

Patton gets up to leave since he has duties to attend to, but will return to check on Logan later

As time goes on, Logan is feeling settled in his new role in the manor, doing an excellent job at maintaining the archives

Patton regularly checks on Logan to see how he’s doing until one checkup, Logan asks why Patton cares so much about him, why he saved him

Patton’s response brings Logan to tears. Patton holds Logan close, giving him words of assurance and love, and at that moment, Logan silently vows to himself that he will protect Patton with the 2nd chance of life he has given him

—

Moving on to the twins’ side of the story, Roman and Remus are still prince and duke

Roman is crowned prince but recently, discourse has happened and their father, King Creativity, had made some mistakes to warrant the people wanting the royalty removed

The king makes the mistake of pissing off a vampire, who vows revenge against King

King is immediately worried and gets more security on himself

He made the mistake of letting the twins wander alone in the back gardens, where the vampire attacks them

Remus was the intended target since he was the dark duke, seeming to be a perfect addition to the vampires

But Roman draws his silver sword and intervenes

In a moment of spite, the vampire takes Roman with him to the woods, dropping his sword

Remus chases after them, now wielding the sword, and when he finds the vampire leaning over the unconcious form of his brother

Remus fights off the vampire. As they leave, they mockingly laugh at Remus, asking him “Who will take the throne now? Surely, they wouldn’t want a bloodsucker on it”

Remus looks over Roman, realizing that he had changed

Roman wakes up, and now they’re both worried on what to do next. Either way, this was a loss for their lineage

Patton was on his own hunt when he runs into the twins

Noting Remus’s sword, he asks from a distance what was wrong

Patton felt a wave of protectiveness on him, seeing a vampire so close to a weapon that could harm them

Remus is poised to defend Roman, asking Patton what he wants

Patton tries to calm him down to let him know that he just wants to help and explains to them that from what he sees, Roman was a vampire

Roman is panicked at this, but Patton offers to take in the prince

Remus tries to stop this, but Patton argues that Roman needs someone to help him figure out this new life

Roman is also hesitant, but knows that only tragedy awaits them if they return home. He asks “what about my brother?”

Remus withdraws, realizing Patton is right, but knows he can’t return home either so Remus decides that he’s going to pursue being a vampire hunter to protect his brother from other vampires and hunters

Roman is worried about this but Remus assures him that he’ll find a way, as he always does

Patton takes Roman home with him, and Remus takes his leave to begin a new journey of hunting evils, he will be the evil they fear

__

Years pass, and Patton is very protective of Roman as he is like a son to him

Logan also views Roman as a son, and is protective of him, but is more protective of Patton

Remus meets Janus during one of his missions, and they quickly became hunting buddies

Remus figured Janus wasn’t human, and Janus admits

Janus suspects Remus isn’t just a messy hobo, as he noticed that Remus had some grace in his gestures and way of speaking, seeming like he is very much educated though his usual manner of speaking seems like the opposite

Virgil and Janus were old friends

Virgil finds that Remus does have features that seem very much royal, but brushes it off since Remus acted so weird

Virgil doesn’t agree with Remus’s messy methods, but stays nice for Janus’s sake

Virgil wanted to be bold, and so he tries to go on a mission alone

Virgil meets Roman, and is entranced by the vampiric prince

He realizes how much he looked like Remus

He can’t find it in him to attack Roman, and Roman, smelling Remus’s scent on Virgil, cautiously asks him who he is, using his vampiric power of persuasion

Virgil tells him that he’s a hunter who wants to make a legacy for himself

Roman tells him that not all legacies end welp (such as his and Remus’s), and leaves

Virgil takes in Roman’s words, realizing he had a point. He decides to try to find Roman again just so he can talk to him, but for now, he returns to the inn where he meets up with Janus and Remus

He tells him about meeting a vampire and wanting to deal with it alone

Remus wants to come, but Virgil insists not to

Janus convinces Remus to just let Virgil do as he wants, and they leave

After a while, Virgil finally finds Patton’s manor

The servants are alert and attack him until Roman pops in, seeing Virgil, and asks them to let Virgil be

He asks Virgil to leave, but Virgil doesn’t want to lose Roman again

“You can’t lose what you never had”

Virgil looks defeated, but Roman gives him a forhead kiss, “but perhaps one day, we’ll have each other”

Virgil blushes, but is now outside. He leaves, but he finds Roman waiting for him where they first met, and they start slow with small conversations which escalate to “May I hold your hand?” then to “May I kiss you?”

Virgil realizes maybe he doesn’t want to be a hunter anymore. He tells Janus about his thoughts of wanting to settle down, which Janus finds suspicious

So when Virgil meets with Roman, he says he has a surprise for later, giving Roman a quick kiss before leaving

Roman is confused but watches as Virgil heads to the direction of the manor

He is about to follow him but Janus pins him down by surprise, thinking Roman may be a shapeshifter since he looked just like Remus but cleaner

Janus tells Remus to help him but when Remus recognizes who Janus is holding, he attacks Janus to get him off his brother

“Remus, what the fuck, that shifter is using your face”

Remus stands protectively in front of Roman

Remus explains that the vampire was his brother and the reason why he became a hunter

Janus is shocked at this, but calms down as he realizes that this may be a revelation for Remus’s background and motives

Roman and Remus hug as they tell each other how much they missed the other, telling stories of what had happened

Janus is just there, until Remus remembers and introduces him as his boyfriend, joking about the whole “in-laws sure do love attacking each other lmao”

Roman is shocked, but is open to meet the person who had been taking care of his brother in his absence

Meanwhile, Virgil had asked to meet with Patton

Patton agrees and Virgil now sits in his office/grand hall

Virgil explains that he wants Patton to turn him into a vampire

Patton agrees and Virgil becomes a vampire himself

Remus, Roman, and Janus had decided to go back to the town so the brothers can catch up since Roman was very excited about seeing Remus again

Later that night, Remus fell asleep first and Janus and Roman get to talk. It’s a bit tense since their first interaction was a fight

They apologize about the fight before and they find they have many interests in the same field, even having near equal acting prowess

Janus then moves the conversation along to ask for Roman’s blessing in proposing to Remus

Roman is happy for his brother and agrees

Roman is happy to stay the night so he can have more time with his brother

Virgil was waiting for Roman to return at the manor, and when he didn’t return, he got worried. Patton tries to assure him that Roman tends to have little misadventures that last a few days, but Virgil was still anxious

In the morning, he decides to return to the inn to pick up his stuff

Janus and Remus woke up before Roman did and Janus gets to talking about them, and how much he looks forward to Roman being his immortal brother-in-law

Virgil returns and seeing upon seeing Remus and Janus hovering over an unconcious Roman, has his anxieties assuming the worst and he goes feral protective

Caught off-guard, Remus and Janus didn’t stand much of a chance. When Janus tries to ask Virgil what he’s done to himself, Virgil doesn’t respond, carrying Roman back to the manor

Uh…. fuck, this ramble got long o_o

So I’ll pause now, thanks for taking the time to read if you made it down here. I may consider making a part 2 (for when Logan meets Remus, Virgil and Janus making up, Patton being a dad to all of them, etc) but anyways, that’s all for this post