#this was very kind sorry it got kind of ranty

[tapedsleeves]

🫂🩷anonymous mutual support!🩷🫂please pick one of the following:

•share a link to a fic youd like some comments/kudos on

•take a moment to say one nice thing about yourself

•vent! what's going on that you need to talk about?

•any other random thing that would make you feel supported right now.

you are loved!

if you have the mental space, send this to 5 others who might need the same support

•share a link to a fic you'd like some comments/kudos on (and a little it of a vent, oops)

ok listen. I know it's a rarepair & not even my normal fare so my regular readers prob won't read it, and then it's kinky on top of that, so it's not like. i know it isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea. but it's almost criminal that teach me to breathe (break me in half) has the second most hits for any of my fics this year and only 2 comments.

I've got a whole rant about, not specifically this fic, but smutfics in general and how *little* engagement they get when the amount of work that goes into them is so high (for me) and like. how it's barely not even worth it? Shoutout to @lurlur straight up tho for cheerleading this fic entirely bc it was written 100% for her and i'm almost to the point where I don't care what anyone else thinks about it lol.

[14dayswithyou]

💖 Day 3.5 is now available! 💖

For the last couple of months, only Server Boosters had access to the 3.5 update... Buuuuut now it's available for everyone to play in the 14DWY Discord — and soon itch.io once I'm happy with the QA and state of the game — so please don't feel pressured to join unless you want to!!

The full devlog + even more screenshots are under the cut ^^

What's been added to the 3.5 version?

📺 Streamer Mode!

I've been told that it's difficult to stream and monetise age-restricted videos on YouTube and Twitch, so I added an option to remove the sexual content and strong language used in the demo.

Now y'all can invite Ren into your bed for cuddles without putting your streamer career on the line /silly /lh

This won't affect the 18+ rating or dark themes/elements of the game, however! Although Streamer Mode will prevent you from seeing any "gruesome" CGs in the future, most of the core elements of the game will still be tied to the choices and decisions you make. So you won't miss out on the overall experience by using streamer mode!!

⚙️ Custom Pronouns!

It only took me one entire year to get around to it, but you can finally choose your own preferred pronouns (or use a set of pronouns instead)... At the cost of being able to change them mid-game ^^;

Since the original pronoun screen wouldn't update until a new scene was displayed, I temporarily disabled the feature. But once I find a workaround, I'll bring it back!

💗 Choose how others perceive you!

You can now choose how the cast and narration perceive you! Originally, the narration was kept strictly gender-neutral (outside of pronouns and genitalia picked by the player), but this will soon change in future updates.

For more clarity: you don't get to choose the words specifically, but you can choose between masculine, feminine, and androgynous terms!

📋 Separate top and bottom genitalia!

You can now choose your tatas and pps separately! >:3

Alongside that, you can also choose your preferred body type!

I removed the "both" genitalia option because a few players still assumed it was an obscure version of "intersex". That wasn't my intention and I don't want to mislead anyone, so I took it out for now ^^;

I also didn't want to include a screenshot of the new genitalia choices in action (because it's NSFW), so y'all get the same character menu screen for the nth time instead lmao

📱 Relationship Screen Overhaul!

You can now change your own status for more immersion, and long-term Server Boosters will eventually be able to submit and use their own icon within the game as well!

Stalking finding your friends has now become easier by using "Buddy Maps"; a new app that allows you to see the location of all the cast members!

I want to offer players more incentive to check the relationship screen since they tend to miss the status updates, so hopefully this might help ;v;

It also says it "updates every few hours" so folks don't go overboard and check every 5 seconds to see where Ren is gdsghf (also keep in mind that he's a hacker lol)

🖤 Additional Scenes Update!

Day 2 received a brand new CG!!!!! Originally, I planned on only adding a few CGs sporadically throughout the game, but it didn't feel right to leave Day 2 so... empty... so I added a brand new CG to (hopefully) make things feel more balanced and natural!

If you decline Teo's offer on Day 3, Leon will now call and try to convince you to reconsider. However, players are still allowed to decline, and if they do, they'll reach a dead end.

After listening to feedback on itch, I changed some of the dialogue during Days 1-3 to make it seem more consistent! They're only small changes though, so it's honestly not worth looking for sdgjssga

🎶 Updated BGM and SFX!

I wanted to try out a different style of music to see if it fits the vibe of 14DWY more! The BGM features more acoustics to suit the "beachy" theme of Corland Bay, though I made a conscious effort to include piano elements as well to stay true to the original!!

I figured it'd be better to give players a live example before I make a poll (to see if they prefer the change or not) and publish it to Itch.

Some new SFX have also been added, though it's very minimal and honestly not that noticeable.

How to download and play the update?

(warning: clicking on the following links will open Discord!!) To download the Day 3.5 update, simply join the 14DWY Discord server, verify your age, and visit the "14dwy-updates" channel!

Alternatively, you can also wait until the update is publicly released on Itch to play it as well!! (It normally gets released shortly after a round of QA testing/getting feedback from the server, though I may release it earlier if I feel like it hehe ^^)

Enjoy!!

[evolutionsvoid]

I think a thing that needs to be said about ecosystems is that no matter how pretty they are, they are still the wilds. I know this sounds painfully obvious, but I feel like it is something that is still widely ignored. When it comes to dark jungles or eerie bogs, sure, people worry about dangerous monsters and hidden perils. But if it were some picturesque mesa or lush meadow, where the scenery is absolutely captivating, I feel people kind of get lost in the majesty of it all. They think themselves in some magical land, or a painting come to life! They cease to be aware of the fact that they are still in the wilds, and that the same rules apply. People will stand there dumbfounded, or blindly walk across dangerous terrain, or just ignore the fact that wild animals are afoot. Why do I bring this up? Because some of you people are way too casual about coastal areas! Particularly the places one would call "beaches!" You see a sunny sandy beach next to a gentle ocean and just throw all cares away! Start acting like you're on a resort, where there are fancy drinks and hunky lifeguards a plenty! Riptide? What's that? Say, what are these colorful birds with the weird club arms? How pretty! It never ceases to baffle me how quickly one's guard drops the second they see a nice stretch of beach far from civilization. Just rip off all your clothes and throw yourself into the waters without a second thought! One good thought to have would be "hey, does anything live there?!" That might be good to figure out before you dive headfirst into the water, or throw a towel down onto the sand, or just start grabbing random shells with your bare hands are you serious!? Sorry if I am getting a little ranty here, but oh how it drives me mad! Not only are you spoiling a good spot to do some wildlife watching, but you are also throwing yourself blindly into danger!

I bring this all up because it was meant to be a short little lead in to the species I wanted to talk about, but look where that got us. What I was meaning to do was say that I have seen this behavior all over the world, the sheer stupidity that befalls people when they see a sunny beach. And while in most cases things end up being just fine, there are a few times where fools wind up getting bitten. Literally. In one region, there is a telltale sign of when someone succumbs to this spell. When they come stumbling back into town with a nasty bloody bite on an arm or leg, you know full well someone tried to have a beach day on Nure-onna territory.

The Nure-onna are a species of reptile that is found out on the coast in subtropical regions. I know sharp eyed readers may note my vague description of calling it "a reptile." Why do I say that? Shouldn't I just say it is a snake? I mean, just look at it! Well, the reason why I chose "reptile" is because we aren't fully sure yet what the Nure-onna is, be it snake or lizard. Yes, it has a long serpentine body that it slithers with, but there are species of legless lizards out there. Sure, it has very small forearms, which would rule out snakes, but does it really? And then some people cite the prominent fangs as a snake feature, while others point out the strong muscly jaws as something more lizard-like. I find it hard to say, because I get swayed back and forth whenever people start piling on arguments, but currently I feel the Nure-onna is some kind of primitive snake. Perhaps a relic of when ancient snakes started losing their limbs, but the Nure-onna hung onto theirs.

Regardless if it be a legless lizard or a faintly legged snake, the Nure-onna is a reptilian creature with a greatly elongated body, bright splotchy patterns and a pretty distinct look. Their serpentine bodies have bright red patches of color over top white scales, making them pretty eye-catching! They possess tiny, nearly atrophied forearms, which still have claws, but they do very little. At times, they can help give traction over smooth stone, and some say that males use them during mating to better grip the females. Going to the head is where things get more interesting, as they possess very strong, brutish jaws, and a surprising shock of hair! In truth, this black mane of "hair" is actually made up of long, thin scales, which cascade off the body and bunch up together to create this illusion. Some folk compare them to very crude feathers, as if the Nure-onna tried to make feathers but gave up nearly instantly into the process. So what is the reason for having this odd collection of scales? Well, it appears that it helps them soak up the heat of the sun more, on days where simple basking isn't enough. They can be seen curled up beneath this mane during colder days, helping trap in what little heat they have, while also using the black scales to better absorb sunlight. Some also think this curling up helps disguise them from prey and predators, hiding in the shadow of rocks with this tactic. It should be pointed out that this hair is also useful for creating the illusion that makes them so infamous. Because Nure-onna have a particular shape to their heads, and curious markings too! Add in this hair, and their threatening pose of holding their upper bodies high, and the snake (or lizard) suddenly becomes a human woman!

Okay, well, not entirely a human woman, but you can see where the mistake can be made at a glance. Scary stories like to say that this is meant to lure in human prey, or disarm them with their seductive feminine appearance, but in truth, it seems more like a coincidence. People seeing similarities in certain patterns. One of the reasons I say this is because these facial markings vary slightly between individuals, and greatly between regional species. Some have patterns that are strikingly human, while others look like they were trying to apply makeup during an earthquake. So this variation suggests that this is not a particularly important appearance that they must uphold exactly. Nature doesn't seem to think it is worth anything, but that doesn't mean there wasn't some kind of selection to be had here! Some theories claim that locals long ago selectively bred certain populations to get that distinct face look to their patterns. Certain nobles and warlords liked having these human mimicking serpents around, and kept them as pets. To be clear, there was no domestication to be had here, more so having a serpent that looks like it has a face but also one that is down for taking a chunk out of intruders and people you don't like.

With a toothy maw like that, the Nure-onna is obviously a predator. They scour the beaches for prey, hunting the sands, shallows and rocky areas. They use their long bodies to slip into tight spaces and burrows, while also using quick bursts of speed to chase down prey. Their strong jaws are good for grabbing on and never letting go. They are also pretty decent at cracking open shells of crabs and other coastal invertebrates, and if their teeth don't do the trick, bashing them against rocks also helps. Nure-onna use the tactic of "bite down hard and don't let go til it stops moving." They coil around prey and chomp down, waiting to the fight drains out of their meal. If prey is larger or more feisty, they may twist and thrash their bodies around while latched on to do some real damage and maybe tear off a chunk of meat. If they can't down their food, at least they get a free mouthful!

While their typical menu is usually crustaceans, fish, small reptiles and the occasional washed up carcass, Nure-onna are known for attacking larger things. More so, they are known for being very aggressive and territorial. They are an ill-tempered lot, always perceiving others around them as potential threats or competition. While other critters may flee at the sight of a human, the Nure-onna would stand its ground til they got too close, and then the fight is on. Their way of dealing with predators is to essentially be so aggressive and bitey that they give up and find something that doesn't fight so much. Due to this nature of theirs, Nure-onna territory is marked and avoided, as people trespassing on a day the Nure-onna are out and about results in getting chased down and bitten. Obviously, not everyone listens to these warnings. They will see an isolated beach with no one else around and think they found paradise, only to find serpents pouring from the rocks and racing across the sand with teeth bared. This aggression results in the Nure-onna being labeled a "maneater," with the belief that they happily hunt and consume humans. But it actually is more that they chomp onto oblivious tourists and then consume the corpse if they succumb to the squeezing and biting. They don't specifically target people, but they won't say no to a human carcass after they have bitten their throat out.

Though Nure-onna are feared and avoided due to their strong bite and anger issues, people do hunt them from time to time. Typically, if someone wants to settle upon a coastal stretch of land, the Nure-onna are going to have to go, as you can't make a beach town with these things around. And even for villages that are already established, lone Nure-onna may travel here and try to setup shop, which thus leads to culling. Their meat is said to be quite good (though very bony) and their hides and hairs enjoyed in fashion and ceremonial garb. As mentioned before, some folk a long time ago tried keeping Nure-onna as pets, or more so punishment for others. They weren't exactly lap dogs, more so creatures that knew who fed them and who didn't have food. You would keep them in pools or moats, and let them chew on intruders who tried to sneak in. Thus, this is why it is believed these face patterns appeared, as owners selectively bred them before the trend was given up on and they were released into the wilds. In stories, people like to play up the feminine appearance of Nure-onna, pretending that they can perfectly mimic woman. They also like to use this species as minions for evil-doers and sorcerers, who unleash these faced serpents upon foes. One story claims a sorcerer used some Nure-onna to kill and rob people who walked the beach. He would cast a curse on a pretty looking stone and then leave it in the sand, so someone would see it and pick it up. Once touched, the cursed rock would bind them to the spot, weighing down on them as if it was a boulder. The serpents would emerge from their hiding place and devour the poor soul, and the evil fellow would gather what coin and jewels were left on the shredded carcass. Neat tactic, though a bit convoluted for simple banditry. I guess points for creativity?

Though the attempts at keeping Nure-onna as pets has fallen away for humans, I will say another species has formed a bond with these savage serpents, seeing that they indeed make good guards! But that is a story for another entry!

Chlora Myron

Dryad Natural Historian

--------------------------

"Nure-onna"

May of went too face-like for this thing, but ah well.

[snowblack-charcoalwhite]

some fans said they set up Aemond with that line about Daemon and it was cringe but what if all his lines are cringe😔 some people are still making fun out of his rant to Cole in episode 9

Hi, and thank you for the ask!

I'd like to begin by saying that I personally don't find Aemond's line about Daemon cringe. Yes, there is something worth an eyeroll about it; but IMO it's not the fact that Aemond considers himself good enough to be able to stand against Daemon - it is that he thinks Daemon fears him.

When it comes to them potentially facing each other in combat Daemon definitely has an advantage thanks to his experience with actually fighting to the death, which is a completely different thing from being trained even by the best of the best. But let's not forget that Aemond has something on his side too, namely youth. And even if we discard this, I still don't think that Daemon is so superior to Aemond as a swordsman that it is ridiculous to even think the latter could have a chance at winning.

However, implying that Daemon would hesitate to face him... Come on, sweetheart.

And yet, even that does not feel cringe to me because it is 100% in character for Aemond. He was bullied and underestimated by his peers, including his brother, for years - and then, still a child, by claiming Vhagar he managed to accomplish a feat no one had thought him capable of achieving. So it's quite possible that from that moment on Aemond felt like he was meant to be the victor - in every situation; him managing to overcome his partial disability and become an excellent fighter surely helped as well. And this must have made his frustration with having to be behind Aegon - at the very least where the right to rule was concerned - grow stronger.

Aemond is dead sure he knows where to find his brother (but he doesn't); he rants about himself being a good candidate for the throne (which quite soon turns out to be quite arguable). And remember this -

He has got off the back of the largest living dragon - of course he would be able to do just as he says and face no consequences. How could it not be true? How could it not feel true? Leo Ashton just nailed capturing this newly discovered aspect of Aemond's personality.

So did Ewan - and I can't wait to see him developing it further in Season 2. One of the most wonderful things about his Aemond is that he combines arrogance and overconfidence (which initially came from the place of insecurity) with vulnerability - sometimes even with gentleness.

Sorry, it got kind of ranty:) To finish this, I would like to say that there certainly are ways to ruin Aemond's character - but as far as I am concerned making him believe in his utter invincibility is not one of them.

[murdleandmarot]

hi <3

I felt weird just sending a message so I'm putting this as an ask for some reason, so it's easier to ignore if needed

I just want to say thank you for everything you've said, I hold on to every positive thing people say to me for when I'm in crises

I'm sorry I've been struggling so much lately ;; i feel so bad every time I call for help because I know it's nobody's place to. i probably shouldn't get into details of why I've been feeling like this because it's kind of a long ramble and I don't want to waste your time

I've been losing a lot lately and itzr4v3n and one other person on Discord seem to be the only people who want to talk to me anymore, so when they're not here I'm kind of on my own. I'm trying to make a name for myself in the murdle fandom but it's very hard because I'm not really making what the fandom wants lol

anyway, sorry for rambling... I owe you a lot, and I appreciate you so much <3

hi hello!!! thanks for reaching out, I’m glad my words have had a positive effect on you <333

I know it’s easy to get stuck in cycles of not feeling ‘good enough’ for fandoms-I feel this way OFTEN, mostly due to my own insecurities surrounding my art and my abilities. But you have to remember-it’s a FANdom and you are a fan. As long as you like what you’re doing, it’s worthwhile.

And your series is so cute!! I don’t engage with it much, simply because I’m not not as active on here as I used to be, (combo of school medication and general depression baybeee), but know I am cheering you on from the sidelines :)

Don’t feel bad about asking for help, ever, because otherwise people might not know anything’s wrong. I wish I could be brave enough to express feelings and doubts and insecurities on here without constantly worrying about validation-we’re all just trying our best, and you don’t have to be sorry or feel bad for admitting that life sucks for you at the moment :(

That got a lil ranty, my bad. The point is: I love you, keep doing what you’re doing, and don’t be afraid to ask for advice or anything! I’ll be happy to say what helps me with mental health stuff (or just catharsis-sometimes having a favorite sad song just to get the feels out is really helpful lol).

Sorry I was very much assigned yapper at birth, I LOVE YOU 🫶🫶🫶

[aroaceconfessions]

im aroacespec and already out to all my friends. i used to also be pretty physically affectionate with my friends and its never been uncomfortable for me or them to initiate things such as hand holding or cuddling. lately though I've haven't been initiating anything and been growing more uncomfortable with physical contact with one of my friends and i kinda feel like im growing apart from them just in general. they got a romantic partner a while ago and they're happy, so im glad for them and such, but also i can't help but feel like im just kind of a third wheel these past few times we've hung out in which their partner was also involved. their partner is also partly the reason why im not as affectionate since im not sure how my friend and their partner feels about me showing affection physically, so even something so simple as resting my head on their shoulder, i no longer do because i dont know if its crossing a boundary, and also i dont know their partner so well, so im a little uncomfortable around them.

my friend is also very affectionate physically with their partner when im there, which i dont have too much of a problem with, but there are times when im kind of uncomfortable with it because i start to feel like a third wheel as i said. i understand that since they're in a relationship thats only normal for them to show affection for each other like that, but there are also times in which i feel like my friend just kinda doesn't notice or doesn't pay attention to how im feeling as much as they do their partner. there was once a moment in which we were hanging out, my friend, their partner and i with some more people and someone pointed out how i looked uncomfortable and lonely and how my friend wasn't paying much attention to me to which i brushed it off with a joke but internally i was panicking because i didnt want to seem needy.

i have hung out with a different friend and their partner before only once, and in that case i thought it went a lot smoother and i wasn't uncomfortable at all and even made fast friends with my friend's partner and i felt like i could be more of my genuine self around them. i have only hung out with this friend and their partner once and I did not feel left out for even a moment that I was with them for that whole day. i also look forward to hanging out with the two of them someday again because it was truly that nice and comfortable!

In the first case i mentioned, I've felt left out and uncomfortable at some point each time. i don't know how or if i would ever bring this up to someone without sounding as if im whiny. its one of those situations where i feel like once a friend gets into a relationship, the friendships sre devalued, but in that second scenario with my other friend and their partner, i did not feel that way once. so i don't know if maybe there's something wrong with me or if its the situation with the first friend.

i dont want my friend to end their relationship obviously if they are happy but sometimes i wish I felt that same level of comfort around them that i used to years ago. i can speak openly with them about a number of topics still but when it comes to talking about my discomforts or being affectionate with them, i feel as if im walking on eggshells. even that feels wrong to say because i can't be walking on eggshells if I've said nothing at all to my friend about it. sorry if this is too ranty, i just dont know if its something that is wrong with me or if im right to feel this way. I'd appreciate if anyone could give some tips or have experienced something similar?

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

I usually don't like calling people names but my god everytime kate or sophia talk about loki's gender they seem even more fluidphobic everything sophia says specifically sort of feels like she is trying to separate her own character for being a loki

The entire representation we got in this show is loki saying he is bisexual and that he has a female varient which displays his genderfluidiy on screen but no they are willing to absolutely disregard that in favour of flashing out their new character in expanse of loki

(sorry that is kind of ranty but i just read the article about sylvie "not having the same gender as loki" and i just hate everyone related to this shitshow even more now )

No worries, dear anon 😉

I get the frustration, they seem to have this weird idea that Sylvie's presence in the series is justified because she's a Loki, but once that bit is clear they do everything in their power to convince the audience that she's not a Loki at all and she's her own person. And they're using the genderfluid-ness as just another way to distance her from him: "He is genderfluid but she isn't! See? They're not the same! They can kiss!".

I suppose it makes sense because given that Sylvie is utterly bland, her only important trait is that she's a woman. Saying she's genderfluid would probably ruin that, and also there's a big case here of Sylvie being some kind of self-insert for a lot of people and something tells me those people need her to be a very traditional cis woman. (Disclaimer: I have nothing against those people, I just don't like what the writers have done with it.)

There is no representation in the show whatsoever. None at all.

[sadistic-softie]

Ok, ok, hold on! Actually, I wanna say some stuff I've had on my mind for a while. Sorry to be a downer, but I feel like a big and kind of important issue related to this is that A LOT of people equate furry sexuality to nefarious activity and even just flurries in general. As soon as you express yourself sexually in relation to furries or draw sexy/kinky furries or are seen dressing like in that photo (love that suit btw), you can get loads of weirdos like my mom all over you.

People demonizing you, saying/assuming you're a zoophile or a pedophile or that you perform bestiality or other generally creepy ideas they have of you and they will refuse to believe otherwise. It scares a lot of people (including me) away from participation in the community, sharing furry related artwork, or even *telling* people they are a furry or in that they like furries in the first place.

My mom is a prime example. She very firmly believes that ALL furries, in her definition of them, are zoophiles and/or pedophiles. And I mean ALL. And she doesn't consider Looney Tunes characters, Disney anthro characters, Sonic characters, and other very popular/prevalent anthro cartoon characters and their respective costumes and cosplayers as anthro animals or furries because they're "different" somehow to any other anthro characters (even though Loony Tunes were/are often openly sexualized but that doesn't exist to her)

Oddly enough, when I draw my fursona, she doesn't see it as a furry thing either, but that might be denial or because it's more of a bug type character?? Idk.

I don't really understand her viewpoints and I really really wanted to, but I just couldn't really ask much about the topic because she would get progressively *aggressive* toward me any time I tried. I told her I wanted to own or even make a fursuit one day and she just stopped me and said, very sternly, "No. Not in my house. I don't need more trauma" and went off about furries being sick in the head and got uncomfortably hostile as I continued to try being part of the conversation while she ranted.

She doesn't know a single furry (besides me) btw so idk where she's gotten this from. Her main proof RN is "just look at them" and "think about it" Not funny, but, lol. And sorry for the long ranty post. I got really carried away. This stuff just means a lot to me.

I feel like a lot of people forget the furry community was built on queer sexuality and kink along with acceptance for being "different" and when people just go "I'm not like those freaks, I'm a wholesome good one" you're kinda just ignoring that side of history. it's ok to not be into that stuff and steer away from it but you gotta acknowledge the importance of queer furry sexuality.

[jervis-tetch-my-beloved]

Hey, Cass! ^^

We don't know each other, but hope you're doing well.

I'm not really a Jervis fan, but I always see you gushing about him… I'll probably read the fanfics you wrote about him and leave reviews. Well, I found him kind of interesting as a character, so who knows?! Maybe I'll take a liking to him :) Maybe you could share with me why you like him so much? I'm curious.

Oh my gosh hiiiii :3

Literally thank you so much that’s so sweet, I’m literally going to bite you. Don’t feel like you have to take a liking to him though I feel like he’s an acquired taste of that makes sense. If it doesn’t that’s fine too.

I like Jervis because he’s 1) very very pretty. like SO pretty. 2) he has a cool like aesthetic and concept. 3) I love obsessive characters, I love characters who do whatever they can for someone they love, who become fully enveloped in the person they love so much they throw morals out the window for them. There’s nothing I love more then characters who are dedicated to their partners. I love how he’s so obsessed over his “Alice” (speaking in terms for any Jervis version cause I like multiple), it’s so earnest and intense.

Maybe that’s because I grew up with people around me who thought of me as a second option, that weren’t really invested in our relationship or friendship that they felt distant that I fell in love with a character who took it SO seriously, that loved SO much that they couldn’t handle it. I just wanna be loved like that. So maybe that’s why I like him, I want to be loved by someone who cares like him. And in return I’ll be just as dedicated. I just want someone to be loyal to me as he is to her.

Sorry that got ranty. Anyways THANK YOU SO MUCHHH 😋😋

[dwter]

yessss literally. i've also been ignoring content when it does come (tho tbh it's more shorter appearances on other people's stuff) because i know it's so temporary. idk i guess they don't like streaming as much or are busy with other things (which is fine!) but yeah ngl it's sad seeing the collective hopes on my dash die each month as the number of streams is lowers. idk... the major thing is that it's not like a break was announced, but rather a "wow we're in a content drought lol! but i'm sure it'll pick up!" that just was stretched and stretched

fr like there are times i hear that certain ppl i like are on other ppls streams and i just cant bring myself to watch anymore bc it all feels so fleeting and pointless to get into 😭 and yeah ive been trying to brush around saying it but i dont rly think a lot of the dteam (well everyone except sapnap imo) enjoy streaming tbh lol. and yeah i think it kind of has to do with them being busy but we also hear abt the fact that a lot of times they ARENT busy and just dont wanna stream (which is completely fine like u said! they dont owe us anything). i agree with u so much anon abt how depressing it is to see the hope on the dash die each month, the last lore stream the most recent example. biggest jebait in history. and the fact like u said breaks arent even announced so were just on this constant edge of “is there going to be a stream today?” which turns into “i hope there is a stream today :)” followed by “i hope there is a stream today :(” which eventually becomes “theres probably not going to be a stream for awhile, i might as well find something else to do now” BUT THEN THEY DO STREAM MAYBE ! and its like everything seems promising again all sunshine and rainbows and then BOOM. cycle continues. and like u said each time the droughts get longer and longer and ppls interest wanes more and more until eventually, ppl are going to just ….. stop caring as a whole.

[swan2swan]

Gonna need a strong drink because I just saw a gifset showing how Rey decided not to sell BB-8 for food because “her parents sold her for drinking money” and BULLCRAP she didn’t do it because she’s a good person and that’s all! 

That was her character moment!

Her best character moment!

There was no “motivation” or “reason” for it besides the fact that she realized that it was the right thing to do to hold on to and protect BB-8. That’s it!

And that’s not “because she’s a Skywalker” or “because her parents were heroes” because that’s not what the Skywalker bloodline is about. That’s never been what it’s about! The Skywalker bloodline isn’t about defining who becomes a hero, it’s about defining who has power. The power isn’t “moving rocks around” or “using a laser sword” or “seeing the future”, that’s not the power, that’s never been the power, and the movie came close to that but it never touched on it, because the Skywalker family has always been about choice. They’ve always been endowed with the same powers, but they’ve used it for different paths. Rey being a Skywalker wouldn’t have been what made her the hero, it just would have given her a reason to be the protagonist of the Skywalker story (which is now Kylo Ren’s story, unless the point is that Rey is gonna be the new Skywalker Babymaker), and it would have explained why she can move things around--her role as the hero, though, would have been because when she had the choice to sell out an innocent to save herself, she chose to make a sacrifice. 

That is what makes her a hero.

Powers or no.

And that is what The Last Jedi lost when it chose to obsess over her non-legacy: the choices Rey made and the reasons she made them.

[supekitchen]

Replying from my Boys specific blog here, thank you for responding! I get the way you feel that way about Becca and Billy's relationship. It just doesn't feel like her character gets called out enough for what she did to the man she supposedly loved so dear, and her trying to justify it in some fucking martyr like speaking. As if Billy can't be trusted to do what he wants with his life. He had a right to know!

I feel like you said where she just wasn't the kind of girl who could or wanted to deal with Billy's myriad of issues. When the going got tough, she got going and left Billy in the lurch to hate himself over it. Becca always seemed to strike me as the type of dog owner to buy a breed like a wolfdog or a tibetan mastiff and expect it to act like a labrador retriever. Why not just end the relationship or, you know, TALK to your husband about how his behavior problems are concerning her and try to work through it together like a team? Or a partnership? Instead of throwing it into his face a decade later after he questions your ludicrous decision making? And maybe it's a very uncharitable way of reading it, but I think her ease in choosing a child she conceived out of SA over her loving but troubled husband had in no small part to do with said husband's not very buried daddy issues and childhood trauma and his not being too hot on the idea of having any of his own. Or at the very least, very touchy and sensitive about it. And instead of ever addressing this with him, chose to run away rather than confront these uncomfortable questions that may involve a break up. But that's what I get out of it.

Not to mention why she chose to fake her her death, sell herself and more importantly Ryan to the same company that caused all of this in the first place and have clear intentions on making another (more "controllable") Homelander out of Ryan, and create all of this suffering to her loved ones when could and should have just gone into witness protection I'll never know. She put Butcher, her family, and even Ryan through so much grief and pain and trauma for no reason all because she couldn't be honest with what happened to her and give the ones she loved the respect, agency and trust to handle that information. Same goes for the sheltering that ultimately damaged Ryan and his ability to be able to function as a person. Another reason why her and Vought's whole hideaway plan was doomed to failure. She should have come clean, gave him an ultimatum of either going into WP with her or ending it there, let him make his choice, and then go into protection. That would have prevented the entire 2nd season and her own death had she just used her head!

Billy deserved better and I'm still mad that they never had him start coming to terms with how Becca screwed him over and allow him to be justifiably angry at her. She clearly never trusted or respected him enough to be there for her when it mattered, even when he was willing to move heaven and earth for her. And she never did the same for him. Every time I try and analyze Becca and her choices, it all comes across to me that she was very weak willed and afraid of confrontation and I personally can't stand emotional cowardice. Which makes it hard to stomach whenever she and the topic of her and Billy's relationship is brought up in a positive light in either the show or in fanfiction.

To summarize, I think Becca was a very cowardly character and the story would have been better had they highlighted this and shown this for the flaw it is rather trying to make her like this amazing saintly woman and that Butcher's the one in the wrong for wanting revenge and justice for what had happened to her.

Sorry for the very long (and ranty) response, but I have a lot of thoughts on Becca Butcher and how the story deals with her and Butcher's relationship. I'm glad that you're trying to take what went wrong with Billy's previous relationship and show how it should have been with Addison and I'm interested to see how it goes in your story. I had stopped reading before cause I was disappointed by how fast it jumped from the characters being on tentative good terms to warm friends with the start of the series plot.

Can you talk about your thoughts on Billy and Becca's relationship? From what I've read from your comments and notes, you're not a big fan of them together and it's rare to find others besides myself in the Boys fandom willing to be critical of this ship and especially Becca herself in regards to how it turned out.

Yeah I can certainly try! I don’t speak on it a lot I don’t think because I’m not about to argue with someone I don’t even know and I’m not going to put down someone’s ship. I wouldn’t say I’m not a fan of them together, I love how Billy loved her and he did - I would say I’m not a fan of the way people put her or their relationship on a pedestal just like she said not to and they were clearly toxic for each other.

My feelings have a lot of different aspects - one I think she’s just badly written, I mean she’s totally fridged and there’s no basis in my opinion for her to be amazingly perfect? (Not that any woman has to!) So I don’t get why people think that. Two - my feelings while I’m watching emotionally are kind of different from my more academic opinions and are also different from Addison’s feelings on it - which in my head I’ve really gotten into so I can write my story authentically.

I will say additionally I have a degree in psychology and I’ve been in a happy successful relationship for 27 years (so far) from 16-43 so I know a little bit about what it takes. The things we have been through together and come out still completely committed and fully loving each other…

Emotionally, she annoys me and that’s just me. They’re trying to make her look like some amazing mother but the first chance she gets she’s spouting how she just ‘acts’ like ‘Carol fucking Brady’ like what? How is that in any way being a good mom. And I hugely disagree with her over sheltering. And she just wishes she was doing nothing on the couch smoking weed and eating Cheetos like huh? That’s the first thing she wants to say to Billy after 10 years? The way she acts about it rings so weird to me. Now BELIEVE ME I absolutely do those things too and enjoy it when my child is good for the night but I would never say it like that or think like that nor would that ever be my first conversation with my husband after hiding from him for a decade.

Billy was shown often (except for one weird one off line) to be there for her and love her but her whole attitude and the ease with which she left him leads me feel she was in it for a good time and not much else. The conversation about the spice girls concert is ridiculous. I can’t even fathom making my husband do something like that that he’s not into. We absolutely both have things we like to do together and then we have our own things too. Why would she force him to go to something he hates like that? Especially when she has her sister to enjoy it with. I don’t get it at all and it’s not how a relationship works.

In the fourth season the Becca hallucination tells Butcher that he shouldn’t betray Hughie even to save Ryan, there would be another way. And that’s what should’ve happened after she was r*ped. She left Billy because he would’ve gone on a rampage if she told him?? She thinks he wouldn’t if she disappeared? (He did.) How does that make sense. There’s always another way. Just like she says. I cannot even for a second imagine doing what she did to my husband. And yes I understand Billy has major problems but he was never shown to be beyond love and support. I don’t think she supported him as a partner at all. She was there because he was hot, sexy, he worshipped her and he took care of her. How did she take care of him, ever? I have a lot of Billy in me on the inside and I’ve said some very choice things in private messages but I won’t say them here haha <3

Now Addison is a better person than me, though of course she doesn’t know any of those examples, but she loves Billy unconditionally even though it’s going to be really really hard but her view of Becca is through Billy’s eyes so she really respects and protects that vision for Billy in a way and I kind of like exploring that too :) Latest chapter out here 🖤

hope that kind of makes sense, and thank you for your ask. just my thoughts and all ships should be happily whatever the shipper wants them to be because a ship can be anything

[koszmarnybudyn]

Shithead, so i got an ask and i wanted to answer it but Tumblr is a bitch and i acidently deleted it >:( i am so sorry T^T. But it was basiclly asking for my thoughs on my magical girl au, and i shall still answer. Unfortunetly like i said basiclly all that i have written has been deleted :( so this is a rewrite.

Okay it like really late where I'm from (0:15 to be exact) but i want to answer anyway (im saying this will be ranty and not comprehensive probablly but i will try). Also i have adhd so everything i write is a ramble.

My thoughs on the season two dads/season one kids is that they all became superheros basiclly, in this au the dodler did get unleashed, but it is much less of a terrifying ancient force and more of a campy villian power source, it does turn people evil just more in the (idk what his name is english) miraculous the moth guy power kind of way. People basiclly become acolytes but they are brought back to basiclly normal by the end of the 'episode' and everything is dandy.

The dads all have powers and they do get silly costumes and stuff, they are less girly and more grown up then the kids are tho.

I haven't really put much thought into it but here are my ideas for their powers:

Grant- kinda green lantern kind of power where he creates concepts out of energy, it is mostly weapons tho, and lasers (to hone in him being a sniper)

Nick- fire manipulation (obviously), his powers are similar to Taylors, he does get a cool ass demon power up tho, im thinking like a dragon ball or just anime in general inspired transformation. I also want him to have a guitar or something (maybe as a skateboard considering season one demonic) maybe marcelline inspired. I kinda also want to give him spliting (idk how to call it?) powers (to represent his duality, as nick and nickolas) where he can split into nick- more raw power, more music focused side and nickolas- more strategic, and elegant and protective side (now im just thinking of left brain right brain by bo bunmrnham lol). Nickolas is blue and nick is red, and his costume is red and blue. (This is kinda inspired by that one teen titans go episode where they get split into multiple facets of their personalities because as someone that desperetly wants to be hyperanalyzed by people it is still stick in my brain).

Terry- idk honestly, i think it would be slightly similar to hermie in design, because of him being in theatre, i want to give him some more brainy wizardy powers. Also something wampire agecent. He wears a doctor strange like robe and everything.

Sparrow- speaking with animals???? Again idk yet, i want the twins to work together, maybe i'll incorporate some of him being the lovewolf, i also want his powers to be just a tiny bit boring and not flashy like the others because that is what he strives for. I also want the twins to have some of the dodler like horror stuff, maybe some mind manipulation powers. They were the lord of chaos after all.

Lark- again i want the twins to work together, Lark would be the more destructive force in the duo, the raw power while sparrow is the support, im not very sure tho. I kinda want to give them something like the power gloves they had, or maybe just Lark has them. Their costumes also paralel each other.

The dads got their powers after the dodler got unleashed, so they are much more developed than the teens at the start, they do have secret identities but they are also known to exist to the public it just works in a clark kent- superman like fashion where even with minimal effort their identities are somehow hidden. The teens unlock their powers like in the show, when their dads get kidnapped (maybe?), Nick used to work with them but he was deemed to destructive and now works more vigilantish and solo so he is not kidnapped. The teens get their powers with their badges, which probablly get turned into jewelry or crystals or something im not sure yet.

Now to talk more about the teens:

Normal- his powers seem inoccent but they also get freaky, i got inspired by blumm from winx club and starfire from dc. He can summon a giant mech basiclly that looks like teenie, he has energy blasts, and does a lot of gymnastics (which don't always work) he also has heling powers. After talking with his dad (i have no idea how that interaction works in this au yet) he learns his powers are kinda cringy and wierd and he tries to supress them, because of that he doesn't transform for a while, still trying to help in fights. He does eventually transform (in a fight with the mayor) but his powers still act up a lot, his outfit changed afterwards becoming a wierd combination of his friends outfits and then coming back to the previous version but without the teenie stuff and slightly altered, he is unable to summon the giant teenie after that. Lark and Sparrow were not the greatest about hiding their secret identities (i honestly belive Lark just straight up told normal once what they were doing but Normal thought he was joking and was kinda oblivious. I think it would be funny if there was a gag where it is insinuated that Hero is a literal superhero (and is actually good at it unlike the teens) but no one realizes (like wearing a suit under normal clothes, disapearing randomly etc.). Normal is very much struggling with his powers, he has a lot of raw power but he never fully sinced up with it so it is contantly malfunctioning because he tries to supress them (which is kinda Sparrow's falt because of what he told him. He is literally so clumsy. Everyone thinks the magical girls are cool so no one suspects him because they think he is a loser even tho the teenie stuff was pretty oblivious. (Also some magic thing is probablly going on so people don't realize it)

Link- he has at least a bit of super strength, because really confident in the costume. Has magical soccer balls (that souns stupid) he summons. Fights mostly with his feet. Also a healer. Has the most functional costume probablly. There is definitly a gag where at first his costume is very fancy and has a lot of stuff on it, but he just feels like the texture is icky so it quickly changes to a more practical one. His pockets are endless probablly. He straight up tells Marco he is the magical girl (i have to figure out their team name and hero names soon) but because of magic bullshit Marco doesn't really get it (he does try to be supportive tho). His wings make lot of noise. I think there is a wierd glowy aura around him at all times. He can also make force fields, shield and similar to grant magic weapons.

Taylor- he is the most hyped one about the magical girl stuff. He schetches them all the time (he has been making a manga at this point, and it is actually kinda good). He does not realize that Hermie is also a magical girl, but he does tells him everything (they are besties and you can take that headcanon from my cold dead hands) and hermie does beta read the manga so like he knows their identities. He rocks a skirt so good. He is imune to fire, has better resistence to most things in general than the others, his costume works on anime logic and so does he (he gets slapped quite a bit into concrate), he has really fast regeneration. After the power up outfit change he gets demon horns, bigger wings and a full on tail his hair also becomes fire and he can move really fast like in anime. He can do that anime thing where you cut something and it breaks after a while. He is glad to be a part of a team, he was pretty lonely for a while in school. His mom does know about him being a magical girl, she thinks its cool but it does freak her out sometimes (she knew about superheroes for a while now because of nick, they actually met because of him being a superhero).

Scary - she is indeed scary. Many people wondered if she was gonna be a villian or betray the team, there were bets going on on when she is gonna go vigilante and kill some bad guys. Also has fire powers, the only one that doesn't have wings and she is jelous (she half jokes that's its because of sexism) she does fly like katsuki from mha tho. She is crazy powerful but not great at taking pain, which is not good because she is not great at dodging. Did not tell her mom about the superhero stuff (their releshonship is not great at the moment). Sights a lot. Also glad to be on the team but pretends not to be. Enjoys being a hero. Is the only one to actually swear on the team.

Hermie- was an antogonistic trickster at first. Wierdly doesn't have actual powers, or at least claims not to "its juat acting" which seems impossible. Flirts with normal a lot. His mask changes expresisions. Can and will break the fouth wall. Will stare right into the camera. Link still dislikes him but they make a good team. Wierdly has a lot of useful information. If you try to take of his mask a new one is underneath with a slightly smaller face underneath. No one knows how he sees through it. normal has yet to figure out he is Hermie, so has Taylor, Link and Scary know tho. He does get really badly hurt once, thats where his burns come from, and he does get an outfit change and becomes more unhinged afterwards. He does wear makeup underneath the mask, he has taken it off once to look at normal and it has cracked after he got burned. Somehow always in the place of the fight or close to it.

Bonus:

Ericka- would be a much better superhero than the teens if she wanted to, but she doesn't have the time. She does ocassionally help tho. Does not need powers to kick ass.

So i want this au to focus more on their school lives and silly things. The villians are less body horrory and more campy etc. The story will probablly focus on the teens and their shenanigans and dealing with responsibilty of being superheros and basiclly child soldiers. I think after the doodler got unleashed the sky didn't turn red and they didn't have to switch realms but the dads still did fuck up in some way idk in what way tho.

I think thats all for now? Sorry for the ramble (and for deleting that ask accidently :( ). It is like 1:30 and i have to wake up early but this felt important. This are juat my loose thoughts, most of which i just came up with on the spot. I hope to do some more content for this au in the future but who knows. If you take inspiration from this i would love to see it, tag me or use the tag, please. Anyways, asks are always apprecieted as is feedback and your own thoughts. (I love when people leave tags :) )

[farshores]

wait wtf happened 💀 I feel like I missed a shitstorm

To keep it short, sweet, & not ranty: Kaidan addon update - they massacred our boy /hj

Dialogue is p low-tier, very Yt Women Romance(tm) & draws away from his original set up, imho at least lol but in the end that isn't what bugs me.

What has me seeing red is the devs throwing a fit & pearl clutching because folks were asking if they're going to keep in/respect the asexual option the base mod has. (Because obviously that means they want to do away with all the romance/sexual options as does anyone with a single, mild criticism - amiright gamers /s)

Which idk bout y'all but that is not a good look lmao

EDIT: lmao one of the new devs is biphobic as well - don’t use the Kaidan add-on folks

EDIT 2: Screenshots of the whole fiasco regarding Kai’s asexual option have been provided (do note this is what’s left after some deletion) and will be added below the cut - Names of the discord members were censored for general precaution + I hope y’all are mature enough to realize not to bug the VA Dan about this. Again, this is not an excuse or reason to harass anyone, this is to inform others so they can form an opinion & hold accountability.

That being said, I will be posting my short personal opinion below, because lol i do have opinions - transcript has been added

[Image transcript:

"My thing is I'm fine with it if it's unlocked via other dialogue tbh because I 100% have characters that'd be down for it. But others would be like...no? So how do I vote for that XD"

"I like what she has done with the mod. It makes him more real and with faults. He is an harlequin romance novel character. I'm sorry, but I had to give in my two points there. He isn't excuse me Just don't where the amulet o mara don't wear it, don't get no reomance Um Okay"

"I mean for me even in the base Kaidan mod it got mized up after a while, I don't know if that was my game being bugged though. (I did think there was an odd flaw in that if you choose to wait the first time dialogue kind of got lost???)

"Okay now hold on, some people are asexual but not aromantic. They don't want sex but do want love and romance."

"Yeah exactly"

"As an asexual, I always choose the romance without the sexual stuff."

"this is where I exit the convo, have a nice night guys."

"Would it be possible to add a option where you can tell Kaidan what you're comfortable with and what you're not comfortable with?"

"Now in all fairness you need to consider [redacted] side too, Adding content may not always be in line with the original author's intent. This is [redacted]'s work, not Liv's. It's not necessarily fair to impose another person's will to limit her creativity and it's difficult when some do want that content. Yes what [redacted] said was insensitive but I think it was from frustration of a feature they wanted being cut not out of malice. It's not okay to dogpile and shout out her opinion. Let's take a deep breath."

"Do you want him to be a monk that is tranquil in dragon age terms?"

"No? I want him to be who he is already."

"They might mean don't ruin his protective nature."

"I think that would be a great shame (I'm tired and not expressing myself very well sorry)"

"Making him more sexual when not in a relationship would feel more bishop like and less like himself or how Live wanted him to be."

"You guys really don't want to hear what i am feeling right now, so i'll be a nice respectful [redacted] and just stay behind."

"exactly"

"OK EVERYONE. THATS ENOUGH. This is what's going to happen: [redacted] will remove ALL sexual related stuff. So everyone can drop it now. From now on will focus only on quests and the like"

"I think there is room for both. Kaidan can be more open to being more saucy if his lover mentioned they wanted it. He dated Ros for Divine's sake Dagon knows she asked for worse. But [redacted] isn't able to make everyon happy. You have to be understanding on both sides."

"we will make him a monk. with protective tendancies"

"TBF he was traumatised by Ros"

"sorry [redacted] I'll shut up"

"From now on, if anyone wants sexual material they will have to donate and get a bespoke from Dan like some other people have done."

"sorry if its a dumb question but when you said all the content did you mean everything in the whole mod itself or just a new patch? again, sorry if thats a stupid question."

"So, I'm getting confused now. Is there too much romance in the mod now as well? Sorry but I just feel frustrated at this point. Yeah sexy might be too much but romance as well?"

"I don't think anyone is saying there's too much romance? (though more friendship stuff would be lovely too!)"

"no [redacted] its perfect on your end its just some people having different opinions"

"how about she removes /all/ the sex shit period from her mod and just leave what is in the original mod for you guys?"

"Oh god no [redacted] the romance stuff is lovely!" (unable to read the rest of the message)

"Yeah there's a cold romance and the hot romance I believe."

"Please keep in mind this is [redacted]'s mod. I payed for all sex lines myself. she was being nice and sharing. But ok, we will take them back. The donations where used for regular comments and a large quest. We will not be able to please everyone. Lots of people have privately asked us for more romance and sex and that's why we took this route. Now because you guys those other people won't get anything. There. Now y'all are up to date. Better to just drop the subject and everyone have a good rest of the night."

"There are three"

"I am just confused at this point also, Is it just like, have two paths the more slow romantic and..."

"There usm byt /u haven;t been able to figure out how to go along the paths so far."

"I love the romance stuff!"

"Sure x"

"I'm going to be really blunt here, and I'm sorry if I sound like a jerk. But....people that have not donated really shouldn't be asking for anything. Plan and Simple. Suggestions are welcome by everyone of course. Telling [redacted] what to do with her mod? NO. I talk to Dan, not only professionally, we are friends. Guess what, what you hear is how he is. He IS Kaidan. We give him a script and he runs with it. He does whatever he wants. Adds cussing at will and even changes things. We just use whatever he gives you. Soooo if someone doesn't like Dan's stuff then by all means don't use the mod. I WILL NOT tell Dan what or what not to do. Anyways, sorry for being so blunt. Some of you needed to know this. Most of you are really nice people. Thanks."

"go on" ]

Now I don’t want to sound like a jerk here, but there’s a difference between being blunt & throwing a fit because people were (rightfully) upset at your response to a simple suggestion.

You’re right! It isn’t our mod, but if you’re going to take the mantle of taking other’s suggestions & criticisms - you gotta do so without this whole attitude lol. I don’t give a damn if you’re best friends with God - this is not acceptable behavior & if your first response to someone going “Hey is this thing from the base mod going to be respected/stay” is “OOOH SO YOU WANT NO SEX OR ROMANCE WHATSOEVER OOOOH YOU’RE PULLING OUR LEGS BOOHOO” then maybe - just maybe - being a mod dev ain’t for you. & I seriously recommend logging off for a bit & finding something else to do.

Spicy take but trust me when I say someone not being 100% interested in the same shit as you isn’t the end of the world. Both opinions can be discussed but it needs to be done so respectively & the devs failed in that.

[doesyourshipmakeyouabadperson]

hay, this is more me looking for advice, but how do i stop lying to my followers about being proship? there was one point where i drew fontcest (undretale), and i got an anti who harassed me in ask, and sent me a graphic description of their brother killing their hamster. ever since i've been very weary of saying anything, or confirming i ship something cuz i don't want to read something like that again. that, and in general, i don't ship things too hard/go all in with it, at least 1/?

2/? i don't think i do. granted, i draw a bunch of art and post it, but for me that's just general hyperfixation. i'm also ace, and while yes, most ships are romantic or sexual, mine tend to be platonic, or suggestive. and are not as clear cut as to if i ship the characters or not, because even for me, it's up in the air, and i don't know, i'm not good with knowing how i feel about things, i just express myself through art and hope it says all it needs to. i've come up with a sorta tagging

3/4 tagging system, with tags for platonic ships, joke ships, etc, but even then sometimes how i view the relationship changes. like right now, i'm drawing a child and adult character together, most of the time the dynamic i portray is paternal, but other times i want to make it romantic, either as a cope for my own truama, or just because it's been my brain rot for weeks and i want it out of my head to get back to the "clean stuff" and just not post for a while. idk, maybe this is

4/? is all overly complicated, and i've made a mess for myself, but i feel like at this point i've tricked ppl into following or liking my work. because ppl do like my work, and then they send ask like "your art's now tainted for me", but i've been this way since 2016, i've just been scared of getting disturbing irl hamster gore stories again. or i've been told "fuck you for normalizing this", "don't hc this character as a murder pedo", "this feels like grooming", "you know your audience"

5/5 like i don't, idk how old anyone is who follows me, idk if there's children looking at my content. and i can't just make a poll, or check the thousands of followers i have to see if they have their age in their bio, i can't fucking ask for an id before following, i just. idk, this was very long and ranty, i'm sorry, i just don't want to remake my blog again, maybe i'm just dumb and anxious, i don't know. srry this was long, hope you're doin ok (^.^)v

Hello, I delayed answering this for a while since, well, i'm definitely not usually the person people go to for advice so im not used to it lol ❤ /nm

Buuut i mean... I can see why youre upset. I dont think you should have to come out and say you're proship. Being an anti shouldn't be seen as the default. You should also be able to make whatever kind of content you want as long as you tag it properly. If your fanbase is making you feel like you can't, then that fanbase isn't your demographic.

There are actually a lot of decent people out here who are pro ship, and if you choose to be openly pro ship, yes you will get some hate mail, death threats, suibait etc and lose followers, but you will also gain a lot of fans who want to see your interesting takes on different interpersonal dynamics. (Also, the former group weren't really your fans in the first place if they'll be so godawful to you over some pixels on a screen)

And yes it is impossible to police thousands of followers and that quite literally is not supposed to be up to you. Minors on the internet are supposed to be monitored by their guardians. If you put a disclaimer/tag for your content and some dumbass clicks it anyway and doesn't like what they see, that's their fault not yours.

I've also noticed that the majority of people who are pro ship are prone to actually filtering content they don't like, while antis seem entitled and want the creator to do it for them. Its just a better fanbase experience all around in my experience.

As someone who helps run multiple pro ship accs, i understand the visibility can be scary. But I promise at the end of the day you'll feel a lot better for it. Hope this is at least semi-helpful/reassuring idk ❤

[cowboyjen68]

hey jen! content warning- this is gonna be long and ranty and about a pretty nasty (verbal) fight i got into with my mom

i'm a 17 year old lesbian living with my 50 year old conservative mom. she knows i'm queer but she doesn't know i don't like men at all- i'm pretty sure she thinks im bisexual. anyways, we've managed to kind of avoid the topic of my sexuality so we can avoid arguments. ground rules at home are no girlfriends (i can have a boyfriend though), no pride flags/pride ANYTHING, no watching lgbt movies or reading lgbt books, you get the idea. it's annoying but i'm moving out in a year so i'm just swallowing my pride (no pun intended) until then.

well last night we got into an argument. we were in the car trying to talk about our schedules so i could figure things out for my new job and she kept interrupting me and i got really annoyed so i said in a raised voice "can you please just listen to me?" and she BLEW up. now before you read this next part you have to understand a few things. 1- me and my mom are very close. i don't talk to her about my personal life but we share music and movie taste and we spend a lot of time together cooking, doing our nails, and watching movies. 2-my mom is very very mentally ill. she's been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, anxiety, and ocd and she refuses to get treated for any of it. i know this isn't an excuse for her actions, but it's an explanation. basically, she started screaming at me (in front of my 5 y old sister) that i'm a disrespectful brat and a bad daughter. she said everything wrong with my sister (she has some yelling problems) is my fault and all i do is make life difficult and she wishes i would just move out. she's done this stuff before but she said a few things different that hit deep and really really hurt me. when we got home i ran upstairs to my room and just stayed in there crying for two hours. a bit later, she comes into my room and tells me i need to learn how to admit when i'm wrong and i need to apologize to her. for the rest of the night i just didn't talk to her and stayed in my room. this morning i woke up to her playing salsa like normal and pretending nothing happened. she always does this after arguments, but it feels so wrong because of the severity of her words yesterday. she came into my room to hand me a gift with a note on top saying

"no argument, disagreement, misunderstanding, "yell-fest" or anything at all could ever change or stop the fact that i love you so much! you deserve everything good and more. i will always be on your side ♥️"

yeah. i don't really know what to do or how to feel and i don't know if you can help me but i really need some advice on how to handle this. stuff like this keeps happening more and more and i don't want our relationship to fall apart because i get offended over something she says in a fit of rage. sorry if this was too long or it bothered you in any way, and thank you for reading

It is super hard when someone you love is mentally ill. In theory mental illness is a reason and not an excuse. In theory we can love someone and not have to lower our boundaries to be mentally or (physically) abused by people.

That is all true when we can walk away, but the reality is we are not always given that option. Since she is your parent and you need at least a year to finish school, get a savings, paperwork in order, planning etc, you do not have the luxury of setting down boundaries and sticking to them.

Even relatively mentally healthy adults can and do say things that are hurtful and many of them deal with their regret but sort of bushing it off, giving a peace offering and hoping it does not come up. Admitting wrong and apologizing is super hard for lots of grown ups. It means admitting fault and because she knows she hurt you it is virtually impossible for her to say she is sorry without having to process that fact.

As a parent I know when I hurt my kids with words said in mistake or anger it is super hard to admit that. To allow that feeling to sit in my brain and to verbalize my regret. I do and can but it took time and practice.

By the sounds of it, she will likely not be open to therapy with you to learn some communication tools. If you have a school counselor or the ability to get therapy please do so, even if just for yourself. Lots of therapist are working on line now so it is easier to access. Some schools will facilitate therapy.

You need to keep in mind that you are leaving within a year. A doable goal. Use your energy to plan. Make sure you have access to your birth certificate, social security card, insurance, taxes, etc. If you have a car get it in your name. If you have a cell phone make sure you have access to switch the account. 

Work on your independence so when you are able to you can break loose. The less you rely on your mom the more you can work on a healthy relationship with her because you can set boundaries, speak your mind and garner respect without fear of loosing your housing or safety. 

Lastly I am sorry you are going through this. Know it is no fault of your own and you don’t deserve such harsh treatment. Her words come from mental illness and inability to communicate her emotions in an appropriate manner, but knowing the cause does not make it any easier.  I am glad you reached out, even if just for the chance to vent and to hear that you are worth more than the treatment you are receiving.