#this was the first time i watched horror and went oh that was abt something else LOL we love a film abt trauma recovery :)

[unproduciblesmackdown]

one in a million when i watch smthing in the horror genre and don't end up disappointed to/and/or pissed off about it so like "also yeah i liked it. ooo" is like relative to that an off the charts rave review of media of the millennium. also i did think about mh a lot along the way so would recommend its affect/effect if you like mh's horror too

[robby-bobby-tommy]

Well, it's time for my hcs. (Mostly UM and KO)

Ultra Magnus has a terrible CPTSD. Sometimes he hears a plane and immediately transforms his hands into blasters. When he talks to someone he tries to continue the dialogue, but all his attention goes to figuring out the location of the enemy. (+ he has bad sleep schedule)

I'M also has a terrible case of 'bad things happen to bots when I leave them'. He doesn't like staying away from the battle, because he cares very much for his new found family. He isn't afraid of dying for the cause, but he doesn't want to lose anyone.

At the free time he has helped some Autobots make their battle skills better. Like he spared with Miko in Apex armor so she could practice her punches and also had classes for medics (Ratchet and KO). They didn't have blasters, which is disadvantage, but they figured out the way to fight almost as good as others.

Speaking of KO. He wasn't very welcomed at team at first, so he was watched very closely. Yet sooner or later they've warmed up to him. KO was a bit afraid at first, but seeing that they meant no harm, he came back to his sassy attitude.

Also KO has some appreciation problems. When he was a decepticon he had to earn the respect and after Shockwave came along he felt very replaceable. He wasn't thanked for his work half as much as he should. So when Ratchet thanked KO in 3 season he genuinely said "you're welcome".

But the moment he felt he was accepted into team prime was when OP didn't let him on some mission. It went like "Why can't I join?", "Knock Out, comrade, you aren't in need of another warrior, yet we may use the help of a second medic." "We can't just lose medics around. Too important." Ratchet adds. After like the whole team nods. And KO felt so appreciated

After that he became very close to Team Prime and (if they stayed on earth) to kids. When some bully is rude to Jack, KO would let Darby drive himself in school just to show off. He'd watch horrors with Miko, and even tell some interesting stuff abt Cybertronian culture, organism ect to Raf

Also he'd race with Bee and Smokescreen, but he is hella competitive. Like this scene in Avatar The Last Airbender, where Azula plays volleyball. "You'll never rise from the ashes of humiliation!" "Dude... It's not that deep bro.."

Oh, and he'd be very awkward with Smokey cuz like... He tried to open him up. But Smokey doesn't mind it, saying that they're even after he put KO in the wall

The other very strange relationship he has with Bulkhead. It's because of Breakdown. Bulkhead hated him and, as we all know, KO was in a relationship with him. Bulk ofc doesn't hold anything against KO for his relationship, yet they'd have a lot of different opinions on BD. They would talk a lot, finding out more about BD's past

And boy oh boy he had a wild one. Him and Bulkhead were born in the same class. They were builders, as Bulkhead said 'I can build stuff, I can break stuff. That's all.' Yet both of them wanted to do more good in the world, so they joined the Wreckers (before the war it was a gang that helped everyone in need and protected the weak), where they've met. Bulk and BD quickly became brothers in arms but the war seperated them

Once BD heard a broadcast of Megatron's ideas of reforming Cybertron and became a great supporter. He joined the decepticons cuz he thought it was his chance to make the world better. He was so blinded by Meg's promises that he thought this crimes were justified. Bulkhead was more observant, and felt something shady and was grossed out by bombings. But the thing that brought them apart and made them enemies was BD's betrayal. Early in the war Megatron was merciless and Wreckers mostly opposed him. Breakdown pledge allegiance to Megan. He wanted whole gang to join, but they refused and Big M wanted to destroy them all. Breakdown told the location of their hideout, and when Wreckers met there, they were greeted by pistols. It was a big fight, some lives were lost. After that BD went with Decepticons and Bulkhead with the Autobots. Now Bulk hated BD for his betrayal

KO never knew abt that cuz he met BD later. Knock Out was a doctor in one of the neutral cities, that were captured by Decepticons early in the war, and decided to join the "winning team" Just to survive

After all the talks Bulkhead started to respect KO more

Knock Out, Bee and Smokey regularly forcing the gang to go to the drive in theaters.

Arcee, June and Miko have a girls nights where they judge everyone

OP and UM are very close. To the point they're mistaken for brothers (they call each other that in private)

Ultra Magnus doesn't like to show affection in public, so when someone wants to hug him or smt like that, they always ask him to another room. Like after OP came back in season 3, Optimus said smt like "Ultra Magnus, old friend, for a word". And then they are just hugging in another room

Optiratch. Just them. Married. Conjux endura. That's all

Megatron, Soundwave and Shockwave are mean girls.

Megasound cuz you can't stop me. And Shocky just third wheeling his spark out.

Shockwave actually started to like Starscream when they were left on earth.

Agent Fowler and June dating, cuz they both deserve better

KO, Arcee and Ratchet form a widow club after the film.

KO and Arcee beat Arachnid's aft together.

That's all for now.

[abnormalpsychology]

I went to my first Rocky horror screening on Friday and I literally miss it so bad!!! I lost my mind and felt so hot and it was . transcendent . so I made a list of highlights:

- MY FRIEND AND I GETTING SAT IN THE SECOND UP CLOSE FRONT ROW BC WE LOOKED SO ENTHUSIASTIC IN OUR FLOOR SHOW MAKEUP AAGHDH 😳😳

-MY FRIEND AND I GETTING TO BE BETTY AND RALPH HAPSHATT (HER SAYING YES DESPITE NOT EVEN KNOWING WHO THEY WERE LMAO) AND ME MISSING THE BOUQUET TOSS TIMING - MY ONE JOB!!!! - OUT OF SHEER BLUESCREENING FROM SEROTONIN OVERLOAD AND PANIC LMAO

- OUR VIRGIN GAME WAS LITERALLY NOT BAD AT ALL DESPITE ME HAVING BEEN SO SCARED LOL. “I went to Rocky horror and now I’m popped!!” as our repeated call to worship with a guy dressed as the pope agahshgk, they were so gentle w us fr

- THE CAST DID THIS PRE RECORDED ROCKY HORROR VERSION OF THE NICOLE KIDMAN AD AHHAJDJ

- the audience making a joke to the stage guy (who was like probably 30) abt skibidi toliet and him being like “what the FUCK are you talking about” 💀

- preparing the audience for the ride like “people are going to be yelling the worst things you’ve ever heard in your life at the screen.”

- RIGHT INTO IT WITH A STRIPTEASE AND TIDDIES COMING ALL THE WAY OUT ON SCIENCE FICTION DOUBLE FEATURE

- “fight a triffid” “WHAT THE FUCK IS A TRIFFID”

- doing the time warp with a crowd was like the most fun I’ve ever had

- I ALSO GOT TO BE THE FUCKING LEVER RIFF RAFF CRANKS FOR ROCKY TO RISE OUT OF THE TANK LMAO

- I can’t even remember all the crowd chants but so many absolutely DESTROYED me w laughter

- “LIKE UR NECK BITCH”

- “you say goodbye / and I say” “hello 😒”

- “hey Janet are you a slut?” “yes ☺️ I am”

- IT WAS WEIRDLY LIKE CHURCH BC EVERYONE KNEW HOW ALL THIS SHIT WORKED AND HAD THEIR LINES MEMORIZED AND WE DIDNT BUT THEY LITERALLY HAD SIGNS AND SO MUCH KIND NICE INSTRUCTION FOR NEW PPL AND LIKE. I LOVE THEM

- THE LINES I KNEW I WAS SO GODDAMN HAPPY TO KNOW AND I EVEN YELLED OUT MY OWN ONES I CAME UP WITH AND THESE OLDER LADIES BEHIND US KNEW ALL THESE ORIGINAL ONES TOO

- “keep calm / don’t panic” or something like that and everyone just screamed in unison 😭 multiple times lol

- FORGOT TO GET US A PROP BAG BC WE GOT TO BE VIPS WHICH KILLED ME BUT IM GOING BACK ANYWAYS SOOOO 🤪🤪

- everyone had so many funny chants that kept surprising me but I was just singing along bc the songs already are just sOOOOO INCREDIBLY FUN anyways

- the improvisations by the cast were so consistently v funny, I loved them . and like everyone was trans!!! so many binders!!! it was incredible

- “-visitors, let alone offer them hospitality “HORSE BRUTALITY?” WAS SAID SOOO LOUD LMAO

- “it’s a Bird it’s a plane it’s SUPER ASSHOLE”

- THE WEAKLING WEIGHING 98 LBS CALLBACK LINE WAS EVERYONE JUST BEING MEAN TO BRAD AND IT WAS SOOO FUNNY LMAO

- EVERYONE THROWING UP TOLIET PAPER AND PARTY POPPERS AND CARDS IN THE AIR WAS SO BEAUTIFUL TO WATCH ACTUALLY <3

- THE BEDROOM SCENE OUR FRANK WAS LIKE “yep it’s totally me . Brad majors 😐 That’s me” not even TRYING and I fucking died lmao

- OH MY GOD. THE BEDROOM SCENES IN SILHOUETTE WHERE THEY HAD THEM PULL DIFF INSANE PROPS OUT OF BRAD AND JANETS ASSHOLES 💀💀💀💀 I WAS LIKE “THATS NOT HOT????”

- the Eddie chanting (“not the ass but the side!”) was SO FUN I WAS SO HAPPY I STUDIED FOR HOURS READING THE PARTICIPATION SCRIPTS LMAO

- Eddie live where they did the hand jive and I couldn’t do it fast enough and Rocky was wtaching me and said “IM LOOKING AT YOU”

- THE REVEAL OF EDDIE’S BODY WHERE THEY COULDNT HAVE HIM LYING UNDERNEATH THE TABLE SO THEY JUST HAD HIS ACTOR RUN OUT AND BE DEAD AS FAST AS POSSIBLE FHSAHSHHAHAHA

- them like “haha Dr Scott! we are eating ur nephew” 💀 #prankd

- I got to throw in my own little lines with like “You’re going to kill him? What’s his crime?”“WHATS NOT?” And I FELT SO FUNNY FOR IT

- riff saying “my most beautiful sister” and my friend (WHO HADNT FINISHED THE MOVIE) turning to me slowly like .. 😟?

- EVEN IN “IM GOING HOME” THEY STILL HAD CHANTS MAKING FUN OF IT FHAJQHS

- THEY DID SUPER HEROES AND I WENT “THANK YOU JESUS” ALOUD HFJSJW

- they had audience members also be the table Frank rides in the scene and the sonic oscillator which was so great!!! my FAVORITE of which was the cutie playing the globe at the end who got so dizzy she had to stop 😭❤️

- anyways it went crazy. pls go to Rocky horror if you get a chance asap!!!! go to events! be gay! it will change ur life

- <3 u rockyhorror :)

[intertexts]

anyway nhw dynamic essay i am NOT going to fucking. type out all of this at once. it is 1am. but. yayyyayayay!!

>starting out w/ ashe & virion because i have been having Thoughts on them........... b4 the trickster they are already good friends-- it's a little awkward at first bc oh shit virion is really cool and kind of scary, i dunno if he likes me, i think he and william are a thing and i've been spending a lot of time with william lately. but that doesn't last long, maybe until the first time they're in some minor scuffle and imprint takes a hit for him. & ashe goes ohhh fuck. maybe he doesn't hate me? & then it turns out that virion is-- well, yeah, he is kind of quiet and intimidating (the horrors! the goofiness was closer to the surface before his family. well.) and hard to make laugh, but they're kind of similar. the quietness is frequently masking awkwardness or not knowing what to do or say in some situation, and they're both so clueless as to normal person stuff (wibby and dakota make some reference to public school shit & virion & ashe make 'do you believe this shit?' eye contact over their heads.) & they're both massive nerds. after all of the horrors, everything virion liked playing was covered in The Ooze, and also he was. living with a gun in his hand and sleeping for no more than two hours max at once with his eyes open and Killing People and doing dirty work for a year or so. grew up pretty fucking fast. didn't have much time for jrpgs anymore. anyway i think he eventually sees ashe on their couch playing pokemon or smth on his switch n just gravitates over. sits on the couch back and watches the animal crossing island ashe is running like the fucking navy or whatever. it becomes a thing. ashe gets him really into shin megami tensei (<- this one is just for me i just thing he'd like smt. relevant 2 mac's thoughts on ashe & horror etc!). they're the ones reluctantly tagging along with dakota & wibby's ridiculous shit & talking super quietly with their heads kinda close together. they'd be really good roommates.

after ashe returns from the trickster-- ok getting sidetracked thinking abt this LMAO. but. i think being muse for so long fucks ashe UP. it takes... a long time. the strain of being forced in his breaker form for as long as he was had consequences!! he did not come out of that as abled as he went in! & also the trickster turning his mind into soup for a year or so fucked with his head severely. get lobotomized idiot. and also. well. the everything else. anyway, i think for the first while when he comes back he dissociates a lot. loses significant amounts of time frequently. has derealization issues. has delusions related to the "hey that guy controlled my body for a year and change and before that he stalked me for god knows how long and always knew exactly where i was and i kept running into him" thing. panics frequently and messily. gets migraines. gets bad & debilitating flashbacks. is back to having 10 billion hangups about his powers. anyway anyway anyway virion.. understands, a lot of this. in a way that wibby & dakota don't. not that they haven't seen awful shit and had awful shit done to them!! but virion is the one who watched his entire family slaughtered in front of him. he's the one who's killed people. he knows what it's like to be okay and maybe happy and one day something fucking breaks, and you'll just. never be the same again. never get that back again, never be who u were before. (dakota was like, 7/8 when he triggered. virion was 15/16.) and he understands the grief & the paranoia & the brain static & the losing time & the fear. so virion gets it. ashe knows that virion is very very scary and very very alert and virion took a crowbar or something for him after knowing him for a couple weeks. so if, like, there's anyone to feel safe around... it's him. ashe's fine motor control is not so good for a while and he's terrified of using his telekinesis, so now it's virion playing animal crossing and ashe watching. he has a fucking awful island it's dogshit it's so funny. virion's good to fall asleep on. they hold hands if they have to go out somewhere. etc. shoutout 2 virion sol & all the emos he keeps picking up & wanting to kill people for. gayass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[puzzled-pegasus]

obligatory Moral Orel werewolf au bc damn it you guys have a point

I'm gonna draw some werewolf themed Clay art at some point or other but before I do im gonna dump a bunch of thoughts about it onto yall

First of all Clay is of course the main werewolf, but where did he get it from? His mom before she died? His dad? His mom might make sense. Like instead of just jer heart giving out, big surprises can bring out her wolf, so maybe she was so shocked by Clay's suicide prank that she flew into a feral rage and ended up turning jer son before her heart gave out?

Then he started to turn on the full moons, but his dad would treat him like an animal when he wqs in animal form and lock him up so he didn't maul anyone, and Wolf Clay would scream and howl and Arthur tried sometimes to smack him to shut him up but when he went away Clay kept howling cause he wanted the attention (or something idk)

Clay's mom had had a wolf hunting trip planned with him but since she was dead there was no way Arthur was gonna take him, and Arthur made sure Clay knew

i'm not sure yet how alcoholism correlates to the lycanthropy but maybe it like, turns him whenever he drinks too much even though it's usually only on the full moon? Or maybe he feels like he doesn't need to hide it so much when he's drunk and it slips out? Idk yet.

But anyway as an adult, he locks himself in his study on the full moon, as well as in the evenings when he plans on getting wasted enough for the wolf to come out.

I think he would turn Orel around the time of Trigger, to prepare for the father son wolf hunting trip. Orel doesn't make a good hunting wolf, but he has a hard time controlling his wolf the first week or so leading to the events of Trigger

And ofc the hunting trip Clay goes absolutely nuts and hunts a bunch of animals while Orel is horrified. Clay eats someone's dog. Orel wonders whether that's cannibalism.

During the rant, Clay turns on and off (turning back into a human when the mask is on but he stays a wolf longer the more it slips), and Orel watches in horror as Clay keeps shifting from his dad to a snarling beast screaming to be put out of its misery and back again on a dime. During the rant, the lines seem to blur between Orel's dad and the beast, and the moments where he screams or yells or grumbles in the original story are actually howls and barks and snarls slipping out.

Orel starts turning too with the strong emotion, and he barks at his father, "It's because you become a monster when you drink!"

"Oh, do I? Drink IS nature, Orel, the monster IS nature!"

Anyway I got a little excited about this but yeah this is my thoughts abt werewolf Clay. Man he's such an interesting character even though he's such an awful person wow

[candychameleon]

post of all my thoughts on the Skybound Transformers comic, where i actually go into WHY i like it

NOT SPOILER-FREE I wanna ramble freely abt this!!

i mean tbh all i have so far is praise but i just wanna ramble about specifically WHY i like it ykno

ok so first off the brutality…I've seen ppl complain abt that but honestly i LOVE it. I like this story establishing the tone and stakes RIGHT away. I was like OH okay it's going to be THIS kind of comic (in a good way). the comics being darker is smth i've always liked.

what's more I feel like it establishes the gravity of the decepticons being there. like...I don't think, in ANY TF thing, I have ever really felt FEAR for the human characters. so...starscream squishing a guy into GOO on-panel was a big OH moment. the danger feels tangible

which brings me into my thoughts on the decepticons and like...listen, i am the FIRST in line for stories about sympathetic decepticons and morally grey autobots. but i am absolutely LOVING how delightfully sadistic starscream is. it's about time he was an actual threat again

as much as i enjoy the misunderstood/underdog decepticon stories…they are the villains. that has always been their purpose in TF as an entire concept (besides SG i guess). so letting them BE villains and be just WHOLLY awful people like ooh i can get into this 👌

they're awful in a realistic way too, at least to me. like i enjoy how cartoonishly ~evil~ the decepticons are in like, the og g1 cartoon, but i'd never describe g1 starscream as "sadistic". but HERE?? in this comic?? absolutely would describe him that way. and it's amazing

which like…I am also glad for a story that doesn't pull its punches and give "important" characters plot armor. like i was FULLY shocked at not only the characters that (supposedly) died, but how brutally they died as well. again, great way to establish stakes

energy/resources scarcity is also something i'm glad is touched upon by this story right out the gate, you can FEEL the desperation from BOTH sides. it's something that's baked into the concept since g1, but i feel like g1 doesn't FULLY explore that yknow

the amount of horror i felt watching soundwave and starscream rip skywarp apart out of sheer desperation? yeah that SHOOK me, and i LOVE when stories can do that. that was horrific and really went a long way in showing just how desperate cybertronians have become and what lines the cons are willing to cross. rip though god, was hoping skywarp was finally gonna get to do something LMAOO 💀💀

but also on the other hand…wow a continuity where CLIFFJUMPER gets to do something and doesn't die immediately?? revolutionary, good for him

and i have seen a lot of people praising this specifically and i have to agree that i LOVE how this optimus prime is written. he's so kind and gentle, with an absolute WONDER for the beauty of organic life and willingness to protect creatures he JUST met. i love that so much??

i've been so jaded abt OP for a while and only recently started liking him bc i have issues with how he's written in…a LOT of continuities lol. but this is such good OP characterization. not my FAVE, like honestly my fave OP is more like Tired Annoyed Dad, but this is SO good

uhh I think that's all my thoughts. tl;dr i am LOVING this comic so so much so far, the fact that i can ramble THIS much about it when there are only 4 issues out is a great thing imo, i am so excited to see where this story goes!

(and I'm hoping maybe someday I can work on them myself ahdlfsjh i am gonna try my hardest to make that happen)

[theroadtosomewhere]

Writer Interview Game!

Tagged by @azapofinspiration yippeeeeeeee

When did you start writing?

Mmmmm.... first story I wrote properly was in 2014, little primary school lad who got marked well on a story in class and it ended up on a lil notice board which little me was like oH. It was a 10 year old's excuse for a horror story but it does make me laugh to think that I went from that to wattpad within months, back when it wasnt behind a paywall. My first original was on wattpad in maybe 2016 and after that I was really into LoZ and BBC Sherlock so there was some fanfics there. My longest (unfinished) original story was built off a plot that I created for a LoZ fanfic and I was still very active in writing it up until three years ago, so there was a solid 6-7 years spent with that lol.

End of 2022 I started reading abt skk on ao3 without ever having watched the show (shoutout athena and moxie p sure i read some of yours first lmfao every skker ever) and started writing my first few skk fics without ever having watched the show OR read the manga. Before that though the thing that got me onto writing for/on ao3 was Narumitsu!!! my babes one day i will finish that first fic (blackmadhi yesssssssss if you wanna see my cringe from pre bsd thats it lol).

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

god..... too many..... its been a long time since ive sat down to read properly, and even during school i would not have considered myself a book nerd by any means (mostly because i was juggling time between school and extra-curriculars.)

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

When I was in highschool, my writing style (based on the original mentioned above) was compared to Marcus Zusac before I'd even read a book of his. That was pretty nice. Same with Neil Gaiman but that is too high praise for me to accept considering i now write either about gay lawyers or gay mafioso x ex-mafioso soooooooooooo. not sure any of that would come through in my writing these days.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

Literally write wherever I can. In my room, at my desk, on the bus or train, during breaks at work and in class at uni (responsible i know). Wind, rain or shine, if i have an idea (or not even) i'll jot down an idea or vaguely edit something. The process is process-ing!!!!

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Hehehehehehehe......maladaptive daydreaming..........

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

I LOVE THIS OKAY. SO. typical projection stuff incoming. I feel like most if not everyone has a highschool horror story and up until like a year or so ago i was like!!! it wasnt that bad!!!! (it was, emotionally at least). The aforementioned original story and its characters changed a LOT overtime lol. when I hit my last year of highschool, i'd had some time away from writing and when i read over it, it was crazy to see not only what my mental state had been through my writing, but to see my own coping mechanisms written between the lines before i even knew what they were/that i did them! Won't go into too much detail about that but I did experience dissociation and anxiety etc which I only began to address in my last year of school, so going back and reading it with a clearer head was like wow okay. that was real!

That being said! Hurt/comfort my beloved. The unloved being loved. Second chances. Do with that what you will.

What is your reason for writing?

Initially i started writing for fun, but during highschool as things got a little worse, i fell into the characters i created and i can look back now fondly and think...thank you. i still dont know if i want to touch the story because its one of the last things i have left from a time past that may not have been positive, but the experience of writing and developing the characters alongside myself back then is just sighs :') sometimes i miss that girl.

First for enjoyment, second as a way of staying sane, and now i'd say its a mixture of both. My writing is my love letter to whatever I'm writing about. I do love sharing too. Right audience and all that :)

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

I've been told that I can write particular characters' inner voices quite well, which is always a compliment :')

I think my own strength as a writer is also the weakness, which is to say that a project is never finished. Even when there's something out there and up on the interwebs for people to see, there's a good chance that if you check back months later, something has been edited or changed. I do have issues with perfectionism at times, but weirdly enough its not a negative thing when i apply it to my writing. I enjoy the process of seeing the stories i write change.

How do you feel about your own writing?

Good most days. I experiment quite a bit with ideas and writing styles/formatting so I will leave it at that lol.

Tagging @calmlb and @samtheboyfailure if y'all want :)

[burgersnacksformax]

Koito/reader platonic modern au hcs

(can also be read as romantic if you want :])

Gender neutral reader, Koito's like your best friend here

And this is kind of long. Again

He keeps pulling you out of your comfort zone, whether it's by bringing you to a place you've never been or taking you sightseeing far from home. You always hate him for it at first until you actually start to enjoy the thing he's introducing you to. And by the end he's always so proud of himself for helping you find something new that you like.

One time you went to a clothing store just to buy a new pair of pants or something, meanwhile Koito was off finding outfits for him and yourself. He absolutely insisted to try on the outfits with you and yes you model and take photos in the fitting rooms.

He takes the best selfies and photos like dude its insane. Either he's secretly really good at photography (wouldn't be super surprising) or he just has the best phone camera (also wouldn't be surprising).

His room is always tidy always how the fuck does he do it. And if he sees your room is messy, whether its when he comes over to visit or if he's just being nosy during a video call, he becomes the mom friend and motivates you to tidy up at least a little.

He's sweet in that he invites you out to eat at fancy places but he fucking. He just calls it lunch. Like "oh im gonna go get lunch with them :)". As if he's not shelling out ridiculous sums of money just to eat there.

Dw abt going broke though he'll sponsor you.

Honestly you're a little worried that he'll get his generosity taken advantage of. If you're ever out shopping with him and you refuse to buy something that you want because you've already exceeded your budget, he'll offer to buy it for you and won't ask for anything in return. Something something "your company is a gift enough already".

He likes to invite you over to his house to watch movies or binge shows. He prefers it to the cinemas cause he can't make commentary in public without disturbing people - and he makes so much commentary dude. Sometimes you have to pause what you're watching so he can give his input, and sometimes you end up having a full on discussion about some really trivial aspect of it.

He loves and hates watching cheesy horror films. Love because he finds them so fun to take the piss out of (ignore the fact that he screams at the top of his lungs at jumpscares - not even screams of terror, he makes full-on war cries), and hate because of how dumb the characters can be sometimes.

And when there are two characters who get along really well in the show/ movie, he'll point and go "that's us". Or if the characters are bickering over something trivial he will also say that.

Definitely wears some kind of perfume or cologne. You really can't place your finger on the smell but it is somewhat flowery. When you go back home after spending time at his house you smell like it.

Can and will whoop your ass in smash bros. And he'll do it with the prettiest characters on the roster. And also Ridley because who wouldn't want to be a space dragon for a little while?

You made the mistake of having a sleepover with him and you ended up being part of his 20 step skincare routine (it was actually relaxing, but you're hesitant to admit because you complained about it at first, and Koito would definitely say "I told you so")

It's hard to buy him gifts cause if this man wanted something he'd just buy it. So you write him cards and appreciative messages and he loves it so much. You wouldn't be surprised if his love language is words of affirmation honestly.

If you ever have to call him for company in the middle of the night for whatever reason, he'll be a little cranky. And you'll be worried that you're bothering him but he'll be like "shut up I'm not gonna hang up till I know you're fine"

If youre ever sick he busts the damn door down to make you food and stuff. But he's a little noisy which doesnt help but he's just aggressively supportive so you can't be mad.

Sometimes you and him send each other random screenshots or pictures you have saved that reminded you of each other. He always has the gall to caption each thing he sends with some kind of lighthearted insult or something.

Wine aunt energy, need i say more ?

Absolutely adores internet slang and uses it in verbal conversation, hes so fucking annoying in that he says lol and lmao out loud while he laughs. Like. JUST LAUGH.

Sends you links to youtube videos with timestamps of his favourite moments.

Tends to show up at your house uninvited, he'll just text you that hes otw. But even then the only reason he gives you a text in advance is bcs of the time he came over and you were in the shower. He made a mental note to always give you a heads up because he did not appreciate having to wait outside your front door for however long you took to shower while he frantically spam called your phone which you oh so conveniently didn't bring with you.

He has the cutest mom apron in his kitchen.

He helps you with self care but in the jackass way where if he knows you skipped brushing your teeth, hes gonna bother you until you do it. If you skipped a meal for no good reason hes gonna be on your ass for that too.

He's a little clingy in that if you skip replying to him for just a day without saying why, he's gonna be concerned, so just let him know that youre doing alright.

When he vents to you, it's a whole long winded spiel. Usually he can figure his feelings out by himself but he just needs an ear. And you'll be there listening for so damn long as he rambles and doesnt give you a chance to interject unless you raise your hand or something.

Also his room is so cozy, so so cozy. Complete with a beanbag and soft cushions and his own TV.

Has offered to do your makeup before. And if you dont wear makeup, he will still offer. And if you know how to do makeup then he'll give his advice here and there and ask for you to try your usual look on him.

Whenever he drives he doesnt listen to the gps. He thinks he knows what hes doing and usually he does, but sometimes the gps goes "in 200 meters, turn left" and he'll be like "no i know a shortcut." And then the gps will recalculate the route and the journey will take an extra 15 minutes.

[abrahamvanhelsings]

thank youu for tagging me @zaegreus 💙🐳

WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

not really, i believe my mother happened to know someone, a colleague or something, and she liked the name so on the baby name list it went. as far as my new chosen name which ive been trying out here and there, it's just the male version of my legal documents name, but since that's dorian it always makes people go 'ooo like from oscar wilde's dorian gray?' OR they go 'oh like in dragon age' and both of these things. queer. lmao.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

hmm i don't quite remember, i think i cried about palestine a couple of weeks ago bc i was very stressed abt work and my emotions were very close to the surface so to say, and this genocide happening right in front of our eyes while the world acts like it isn't makes me feel incredibly powerless and lose my faith in humanity. to see suffering and ignore it - to refuse to see these people as people, with lives and dreams and feelings that are each worth the universe, at all. just inconceivable to me.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

no. and despite what my mother likes to think i do not want them and i never will.

WHAT SPORTS HAVE YOU PLAYED/DO YOU PLAY?

i played football for a couple of years as a teenager. i also did horse riding for a year or two as a child, but then the timing of the lessons got awkward in regards to dinner so i had to stop. i still kind of miss it every once in a while though, because i really love horses and riding is very nice. uhh i also did archery for two years or something. and when i stopped playing football when i was 15 i went on to rowing and i haven't stopped doing that since! honestly a pretty important part of my life, there's a lot of time that goes into practice alone and i also have to volunteer at the club (common courtesy as a member), but i really love it. don't think ill ever stop doing it if i can help it.

DO YOU USE SARCASM?

uh yeah all the time lmaoo which sometimes people do not catch on to and then it seems like i've just said something incredibly rude or patently insane but we roll with life's punches. which in this case is failing a 'have a normal conversation' check.

FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

hands! im very peculiar about hands and i will commit a felony for a beautiful pair of them. this goes for eyes too but looking straight into people's eyes is, like, more intimate than sex so i tend not to do that very much even if i think someone's eyes are beautiful immediately. and also, people's shoes, bc i honestly believe that if there's any piece of clothing that can tell you a lot about a person it's shoes lmao

WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR?

hazel, they kinda go from brown to green depending on the shirt im wearing and the way the light falls into them

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

kind of depends on your definition of scary? i don't like horror at all but i can enjoy a good thriller. generally i think i prefer happy endings though. still, a good tragedy every once in a while... in fact one of my favourite movies of all time (in the mood for love) has a very bittersweet ending. and also i am terror crew of course

ANY TALENTS?

i used to be decent at drawing but i haven't really done that for years bc academia sucks the life out of you. same goes for writing - i so wish to take up writing fanfic and original works again and i have so many ideas, but then whenever i have the time i do not feel the energy. oh but im very good at public speaking! has always come naturally to me which is quite a stroke of luck

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

provincial town somewhere in the north of the netherlands

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

rowing, playing the piano, and the usual stuff i.e. reading, watching things (including sports) and playing video games. idk if id classify climate activism as a hobby? im not doing it for fun but bc it's necessary, but we do try to have a good time of it bc it's not sustainable mentally/physically if you don't. i also play board games with some of the climate activism people in my city every once in a while

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

no! my parents used to have cats but when they died they didn't take new ones and im away from my own apartment more often than im there bc of work and sports and activism and friends blah blah blah so it isn't really a good idea for me to take a cat or something if we can't even be proper companions

HOW TALL ARE YOU?

ehh 169 cm or so

FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?

even though i studied history i think latin and ancient greek were my favourite subjects in high school bc that's where i actually learned things. the history teacher just let me do whatever bc it was all too easy for me anyway, but latin/greek were actually challenging even though i was good at them. in fact my highest mark on the big national high school exams was for greek! also i told you about my amazing latin teacher :')

DREAM JOB?

man i don't even know anymore. for the longest time i thought i wanted to work in academia but now im doing a phd and im seeing all the uni politics up close im like... man... all of you people and your made up rules and your cronyism and toxic power dynamics and your hierarchies suck ass for real. but then idk what else id do bc even though i like museums that whole world is impossible to get into without literal nepotism so yeah. marry rich and set up something cool to popularise opera among younger generations? lmfao

tagging @garlandgerard @boogiewoogieweeb @croziers-compass @burrowingregg @tadpal @tideswept if you feel like it 💚🐢

[chryzure-archive]

HAPPY (early as of rn..) BIRTHDAY!!🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🎁🎁🎁💝💝🎁🎁💝💝💝💝🎁🎉🎉🎉🥳🥳🥳🎊🎊🤍🤍🤍 love chrysijacks agonies sm, are there any other horrors you are thinking of putting them through?:)? whats it like if chryzurejacks were cat people at the same time…WHO is picking the cat fights….. any songs u want to share that remind u of chryzure/chrysijacks?? who is the best -> worst gift giver among chrysizurejacks…

THANK YOU <<333333 i was jokingly talking to my sister abt celebrating our bdays w a glass of wine and then i realized. i can buy wine now. i am old enough to do that. suddenly, my jokes aren’t as funny ://

OH, ALWAYS!!!! there’s the chrysijacks agonies i’ve mentioned prior (jacks finding her dead body and getting his curse from her 🥰, jacks getting soooo fucking possessed and trying to kill chrysi over it, chrysi taking jacks’s place in the card and he has to deal with the guilt of his immortality making him cruel to his very bestest friend), BUT i always have new and improved agonies that await <333 like how i think that ummm since jacks has chrysi’s blood in him, if she were to die, his blood would start blooming w death flowers.

oh, but the fic where jacks is the human and chrysi’s the fate is so uniquely agonizing… jst bc like!!!! jacks went and killed himself (partway bc of his obsession w chrysi overtaking him, partway bc eris influenced him and killed him off bc she didn’t want chrysi to fall in love and become mortal again. long story, but she essentially also killed azure so that chrysi would become her “greatest achievement” and become a fate), but he still lingers around chrysi bc he continues to love her in his death. ((chrysi ends up getting eris to preserve his body… once a trophy husband, always a trophy husband, i guess.. jacks is somewhat touched by this gesture. there’s something very wrong with both of them)) AND THEN when chrysi loses her mind over the knowledge that she’s lost the two ppl she loves most bc of eris (her goddamn mother figure!) and she starts killing ppl indiscriminately bc of it… jacks possesses fate!jacks and kills chrysi to save her from herself…. it’s jst. so sad. then fate!jacks is left w his own fucking body taxidermied and chrysi’s dead body in his arms. how the hell is he supposed to handle this? and when he gets back to his actual world, how’s he going to look his chrysi in the eye? but you know. the agonies are sooo fun!!!

oh my god, chryzurejacks being cat ppl all at the same time is an amazing idea… i will post art of them like this later today, i think! but i think that it’s a lot of azure lounging aroudn and napping and reading books, while chrysi definitely gets hyper at times and takes a lap around the house <33 jacks will tend to curl up w chrysi, but whenever she wants to play or run around, he’s extremely displeased,,, why doesn’t she jst want to be with him ?? :(( it’s worse bc she’ll run around, and then once she settles down again, she GOES TO LAY DOWN IN AZURE’S LAP. WHERE’S THE JJUSTICE!!! JACKS WAS HOLDING HER FIRST!!!!!! <- jealousy issues. go to a therapist.

anyway, chrysi’s starting the cat fights <3 jacks walks by and she jst smacks him 17 times in the head and then bolts off. it’s more like a cat ambush, and chrysi’s winning.. jacks has a bruise now 😿azure watches this all go down from his safe little perch w a book. this isn’t his problem <333

OH, but i think that azure might also start some fun cat fights w chrysi. it’s how they flirt <3 it ends w them holding onto each other. jacks is, again, very upset by this. let him in!!!!!!!

chryzure songs rn include red with love - pom pom squad, getting by - long beard, ancient history - the crane wives, serenade - evgeny grinko, nocturnal me - echo & the bunnymen (it’s required..), wonder what you’re doing for the rest of your life - train, my girlfriend is a witch - october country, come home - willow

((the chryzure song range is sooo funny.. they have so many lives that they hold every different type of breakup within themselves… except maybe a breakup from cheating. bc they are incapable of doing that to each other))

chrysijacks songs include only wanna dance - almost monday, great! big! party! - eyeamki, love song - sara bareilles, chapstick - coin, dancing in the moonlight - king harvest, private eyes - hall & oates

a chryzurejacks song that keeps making me cry bc it makes me think of them all being friends in a modern day au is everybody wants to rule the world - tears for fears…. that song’s heartbreaking to me… i think of it like after they’ve all split off in their adult lives and they find all their photos of them hanging out in high school,,, sobsob… of course, extenuating circumstances involving a curse, a ghost, and azure’s horrible, horrible luck gets the gang back together, but. still. the nostalgia aspect makes me vv sad..

i think that chrysi’s the best gift giver (she goes above and beyond + always hand makes stuff, plus writes a nice note, plus gets more things that they wanted <33), with azure a close second (he’s a lot more subtle abt it + he just gets ppl gifts whenever he feels like it. it’s not a special occasion type thing), and then. jacks. (he exclusively gets chrysi gifts but they’re all clothing and jewelry that jacks wants to see on chrysi. not what she specifically asked for. cmon, man…)

[wordpimp]

Gilgamesh

When you said we weren't alike I never really believed it.

Oh, but didn't you?

They were seeing what the hill could swallow. The fire in the hill, that the neighbors had built for the night. Pizza incense oven, habemus papam. Soft and warm wooden, burning and warming the air around it. A faint smell of bourbon. Ginger. Some thin crowd stood around, murmuring. A light gossip.

Music from a patio speaker, propped up against a table with snacks and coolers. Good music. Dust settled down, but you couldn't see it in the dark. There's always a fine dust that setttles, everywhere. You breathe it in, it settles inside you too.

Don't you feel excited by time, the day ahead, the distance you've gone?

Charlie nodded. I guess so. A bonfire was good at least. Standing or sitting, a drink to occupy the mind from being occupied with other things. She had a lot on her mind lately. Couldn't say much about the days, but the ends of them, that was nice.

Dani brought an apple with her.

Red delicious, purple too. Coke bottle icee, it looked erotic in the night. Comely.

Charlie had a doll, it slept with her, it had for years, but she was ready to let it go.

The doll represented a cousin, at least she thought it did.

Would you like to see it?

She did not want to see it. Slime of varnish, wet decay, brown fungus. She walked with him into the woods though. It would've been rude not to. When they reached the mossy bank it was already dark so there wasn't much to see. Her memory of that summer was vague.

Things that people often did when they were eight, or ten, or six. And then much later. Desire to be certain, to derive some knowledge from a situation, bc it turned them against themselves, or it was primal, or they didn't laugh enough, or it was too much for them to hide for so long.

Shit I told my therapist abt this didn't I? He can't fix it. There's nothing to fix. I'm fine. Aren't we fine Dani?

Dani thought that they probably were. It wasn't the end of the world that people thought it would be. This was a party. There was a ritual aspect, to be sure, but homegrown. Fiery banner in a cul de sac, block party, gathering beacon of last days of summer, autumn then november. First it would be autumn then november. It was traditional as it got. She guessed that some priest was graying in another time and place, that they would bless the proceedings. Scary sacrifice.

Dani and Charlie both had baubles and relics hidden under their beds and in drawers with their panties and magazines, porno tapes they had watched with boys, queer ones especially. Charlie's first boyfriend had been into that. Same sex, group sex, any sex.

They each picked an item to bring for the party. A kind of going away party. Goodbye summer, a horror themed season. Witching season.

Dani rubbed her apple. It was warm in her pocket. Cashmere nest, red egg wet fruit. She hadn't meant to bring it actually. It was an odd reaction to an odd request. But she needed something to burn, something to give away. Propitiate the flames make them dance. The apple would do that, if heated up sufficiently. Blue and green in the flame. She grabbed it instinctively from the pink basket on the kitchen counter. Pocketed, exact change, cab fare.

Charlie had a name for her doll, she called it cousin baby, but in the dark tonight, she called it robert, after her cousin who went into the woods with her when they were ten. He was dead now. He would've been twenty-five this year, same age as her.

Around the fire the murmurs of others with their offerings. Rabbits and owls, panthers and goats, pigs and deer. No human face tonight. Another rule.

Dani was a deer, a mule deer. Charlie was a wolf.

Bloodthirsty, prone to violence, solitary, sweet docile tender innocent. A pig oinked, a boy dressed as a pony twirled up and down a carousel. Held hands.

Here, grab a sparkler.

Charlie pulled one of the thin metal rods from the cardboard package, handing it to Dani. Then she grabbed another for herself. They lit the sparkler ends and pulled their lawn chairs next to the fire.

[mothlegs]

dream dreams

horror movie dreams

one was def inspired by maze runner with how everyone kept saying the MCs name lol. also it was just literally that actor. named sam tho

they were like. imposters i think? something would take the appearance of someone else but it also sorta seemed like an infection

first one took place in a school. allll high schoolers 18y/os i think. there was a girl who was the weak love interest that had to be protected i guess. dont super remember a lot

there was stuff before this. but mc runs to the door were girl is but it's locked and they cant get out but he was being chased by th3 monster so theyre kinda fucked now, except luckily some guy opens the door from the other side

idk how they escape from the monster here but they do. i think the monster was mcs bestie too? idk they knew each other and theyd gone out into the school with the mc not knowing the guy was an imposter

and then like after that. mc walks over to the group and says something about them all going somewhere, but then his eye twitches and a guy realises hes an imposter, but he doesnt say anything since rn it's not tryna kill them but it def would if he called it out, so hes like waiting till it's safer ig

thenn i go to watch another movie. cause yes these are movies in the dream. i look at the next movie in th3 series (trilogy) and it's something abt a mom, but im like. scared and p uncomfy cause of the movie already so i try to find something else

i irl have a problem of like. i genuinely think the only reason i watch so many horror movies is because it's the only genre i understand. like people will ask me for a genre since thats like the first step to finding a movie and i always say horror cause i jist genuinely do not understand what any other genres are. like i get the Concept but i dont get what movies are or arent those genres, i get that comedy is supposed to be funny but i dont know which movies are comedy and which ones are just funny

but anyways. i was very clearly having this problem in the dream also. because i really did not want to watch a horror movie but i did want to watch something so i was trying to find...unscary horror movies

i started other which started in a parking lot at night? and it was two old women who fought monsters i think. except one of the old ladies was an imposter now and tried to kill the other one. it mightve been the other way around but i think the human sprayed the imposter with red liquid (looked like blood but wasnt- and it was from like. looked like one of those mist sprays for plants) and it burnt its face

i thought something like. oh it's from the same universe as the other one. and then went to look for another movie cause it was too scary 😭

i think i woke up 2 or 3 times? and the looking for movies thing was almost like a loading screen for the dreams, because i was really only aware of the tv screen (it was netflix) and not myself at all, and when watching the movies they were 100% real, more than i was real when trying to find movies

feel like there was more but i no rememby

[noramoons]

moodtober 2022 | day 10

it follows (2014): starring xiao dejun

“it doesn't think. it doesn't feel. it doesn't give up.”

moodtober masterlist

[looseratinthegarage]

HIII hiii idk if you have doen this yet but can you write a lil thing abt a first kiss with the slashers?? i love your writing sm and. i kinda binge read Almost everything

First kiss with the slashers

Omg my heart is melting, i'm so honored that you like my writing T^T and I’m so glad you suggested this! I’ve been wanting to write it and you’re a great motivation! I don’t know which slashers you want so im gonna do Michael and Thomas, if you want to see others please let me know! I’d be happy to write more of this!!!! I really enjoy fulfilling requests <3

Tw: This one is a bit nsfw, but its just kissing!

Thomas

•Oh my goodness, your first kiss with Thomas was so cute and sweet!!!

•You were sitting on his bed taking a break from chores and talking. Poor thomas was so hot that he really wanted to take off his mask, but he was afraid of scaring you away, that you’d see him as a monster…

•Once his mask was set aside, your mouth fell slightly agape. He initially panicked, thinking the worst he quickly went for his mask, but you stopped his hand. You carefully crawled up onto his lap to get a better view of his face.

•You place your hands on either side of his face and lean in, he froze, a mixture of shock and his natural shyness. He begin kissing back quickly, once he process what's happening that is. He places his hand at the back of your neck and pulls you impossibly closer.

•You pull away, embarrassed and bright red, you begin appologizing and stuttering like mad. He isn’t good with words, so instead he pulls you in for another gentle kiss to show you its okay.

•You can hear fake gagging noises from the doorway, both of you spin around, a blushing mess to see who it is, though you both knew before you looked. There Hoyt stood with the most disgusted face.

• “You both have work to do, quitmessing around!”

•you both nod and awkwardly look away from him as he stomps away. When you look back at eachother, you both are blushing messes

•Just know if Hoyt ever messes with you and tommy about being romantic, just tell Mamma Luda Mae, she’ll handle it, Hoyt will spend a night sleeping on the porch :)

Michael RZ

•He would be very aggressive about it but he has sweet intentions

•Your first kiss would most likely happen 1 of 2 ways

•The first way would be on a movie night! You set out all the snacks and sweet treats for the both of you. He’ll take his mask off so he can eat and watch at the same time, if he rolled up his mask every five seconds to eat his vision would be pretty hindered.

•He’s pretty cute when it comes to horror movies, especially gory ones. When an intense moment comes on he’ll cover your face with his large hand, even if you tell him your okay with it! But if you tell him you actually enjoy it he’ll pause, and possibly get a boner- put your murder boner away!

•you rest your head on his shoulder, and that has him melting. He’ll slowly turn to face you, thinking you did something wrong you quickly sit up and go to apologize. What you didn’t expect was him to grab your shirt and pull you in for an unpracticed rough kiss.

•He pulled you to his chest and the movie was quickly forgotten. I think we all know Michael is very handsy, he’d grab your butt and squeeze, not too hard though, making you gasp into the kiss, allowing him to slip his tongue in.

•You both pull away for air, your eyes are wide and a string of spit connecting the both of you. He’d pull you in and rest his head in the crook of your neck, he’ll stay there for hours if you let him <3

•The second way is if a victim got to you…

•He’s on his usual hunt, but the victim ran into his house after a long chase. You were inside and jumped at seeing a bloody figure that wasn't Michael. They caught on pretty quickly to why you were there and cornered you.

•He wrapped his hands around your throat and began to squeeze. You choked and clawed at his arms, you screamed desperately for Michael with your limited air to come save you, ironic isn't it?

• “That freak killed my girlfriend! So I'll kill his little toy!”

•Blood suddenly sprayed all over your face as the hands around your neck loosen significantly until they fall. A large hand pushes the body to the left, making it fall with a thud. You look up and see a comforting sight, but for the first time, you saw something different in his eyes. Michael looked scared, honestly scared. You thought you’d never see the day.

•He pulls you in and looks you over for any wounds, once satisfied he delicately lifts your chin and leans down. Fireworks go off in your head once your lips connect, he becomes rly soft and gentle when worried about you T^T <3

[ppersonna]

out of my league - knj | 01

you were out of my league. got my heartbeat racing. if i die, don't wake me, cause you are more than just a dream - out of my league, fitz and the tantrums

✹ summary- Kim Namjoon was never supposed to find out about your years-long hopeless crush on him. And he most definitely was not supposed to find out about it in front of all your coworkers in a company-wide meeting.

✹ rating- explicit/18+/nsfw

✹ pairing- kim namjoon x reader

✹ word count- 6.6k

✹ genre- angst, smut, comedy

✹ chapter warnings- swearing, descriptions of sex, sexual content, namjoon being a sexy flirt, jungkook being a himbo, awkward conversations, jimin being a protective bff

✹ a/n- hello and welcome to this fic thats lived in my google docs for almost a year now. without @ladyartemesia @xjoonchildx @untaemedqueen and @chimoona, i would never have posted it. i truly owe so much of my brainstorming and creativity to their incredible brains and thoughts and ideas. i love them very much! i hope you enjoy this first chapter! please feel free to message me, talk to me abt anything!! im always here to chat. ILY!

MASTERLIST

Kim Namjoon was never supposed to find out this way.

You planned to confess your undying, unerring love for your coworker at a better time, a classier place. You would wear a dress that highlighted your features, hair cascading down your back, makeup done to perfection and spritzed with expensive perfume. You’d confess, he’d confess right back, and you’d live happily ever after.

You’d also dreamt that Kim Namjoon would have the slightest inkling of who you are before he finds out about your year long crush. He might know you as the mousy girl in the office who doesn’t talk and doesn’t contribute much other than some crunched numbers and apparently the best coffee brewer in the office. But you’d prefer he knows you well—your favorite colors and movies and foods, what makes you happy and sad; things future husbands should know.

You very much did not think it would happen in a company wide conference, full of over five hundred suit-wearing executives. You did not think it would be done by the office bully, Chungha, who carefully takes over the mic and speaks the words clearly as she presents awards of recognition.

“Congratulations to Kim Namjoon for 5 years with the company, over $4 million in revenue, and the object of ____’s lust and affection. I’m sure you two will have the happy life she’s written in her journal about. Make sure you celebrate with her today!”

The room is silent, so silent you could have heard a pin drop from a mile away. Your face is cherry red and you wish the earth would open up and swallow you whole. Your heart feels like someone has ripped it in half and you stare in horror at the girl smirking at the front. Is this what it feels like to be backstabbed? Namjoon looks perplexed—confusion written on his face as he gestures around to no one in particular like he’s saying ‘what the fuck was that?’

Awkward coughing and clapping begins and Namjoon stands to receive his award, a fine wooden fountain pen, and chances a glance around the room. He easily spots you, with your wide, frightened face. His look remains passive, not hinting what he’s thinking behind those stormy eyes, before he turns and sits back down at the table with his buddies from his department.

You seriously contemplate quitting your job. You could find a new one easily, right? Just stand up and tell your boss you quit and you’re out of there before Namjoon ever sees you again and you’ll never have to face the mean girl who’s ratting you out.

As much as the idea rolls through your head, you know you won’t do it. You love your job, love the security and finances it provides you, and you love to look at Kim Namjoon, all day every day.

You don’t understand where things went wrong.

( one month ago )

It’s 9:03 am. You finish brewing the coffee in the small staff kitchen and sigh at the aroma of the freshly ground beans. Coffee is your favorite meal, favorite time of day, favorite snack, and preferred beverage. You drink it constantly. You’re known as “coffee girl” at work, mostly because no one really bothers to get to know you beyond that. You drink coffee like it’s a devoted religion. You could drink a cup right before bed and still sleep like a baby. It was, put simply, your drink.

The office workers deem you to be the one to make the pots of coffee every morning, claiming you were the ‘best’. You didn’t mind—you preferred to make your own coffee regardless—but you believe your coworkers are trying to pass off the twenty-minute job to someone lower in the office hierarchy. And you were one step above the interns.

The coffee machine chimes to let you know it’s hot, and it’s ready for you. You eagerly pour a mug, a large one, and smile as the waft of freshly ground beans (by you, of course) fills your senses.

You nearly knock the cup out of your hand as Kim Namjoon strolls into the office, eyes set on the coffee.

You feel your throat swell up, like he’s an allergen and you’re caught without an epi-pen. Butterflies swirl in your stomach and you can’t stop staring at him. He pays you no mind, tired yet determined to pour a cup of coffee and get back to his office.

You stand in the small kitchen, clutching your coffee like a lifeline, and pray to god you don’t do something stupid.

Namjoon pours his mug, and you watch his muscular hands grip the coffee pot. He pours a hefty amount of cream and sugar into his cup—it appears even perfect male specimens have their faults. 

Your eyes dance on his face before they tango down his body. You wonder what he looks like in the morning, crawling out of bed with mussed hair and a sleepy smile painted on his face. He’d look at you and tell you you’re the most beautiful girl and kiss you deeply despite morning breath. Maybe he’d take you to the shower to press you against the tile as he fuc-

“Oh!” it startles Namjoon to see you, and the coffee in his hand swishes violently. “Didn’t see you there. Sorry!”

Your heart melts. He’s the picture of kindness and politeness. You recognize it’s been a few seconds and you still haven’t replied.

“It’s fine!”

“Great coffee, by the way,” he smiles. His teeth nearly knock you out cold with their brilliance. “Have a good day.”

He turns and exits the room without so much as a glance back at you. Your knees feel weak.

Kim Namjoon talked to you. He complimented you. He told you to have a good day. It’s the best and most significant conversation you’ve had with your secret crush.

You definitely file that away for another day when you need to reminisce on his compliment, and you scurry out of the kitchen towards your desk.

Park Jimin is waiting dutifully at your desk when you arrive, a smug smile still slapped over your features as you sip at your coffee. Namjoon spoke to you today—how lovely.

Jimin quirks an eyebrow. 

“What’s got you so perky this morning?” 

You’re normally quiet and passive, avoiding eye contact or any semblance of emotion on your face.

You look up at the blonde bespectacled boy. Park Jimin is the closest thing to a best friend in the company. He’s who you spend time with at lunch, see on weekends, and text often. You suppose he’s the closest thing to a best friend you have in your entire life.

You send him a smirk and lean in close to whisper. “Namjoon said hi to me today!”

Jimin sends you a pitiful look and pats your shoulder. Your best friend is well aware of your secret crush and while he thinks Namjoon is a nice guy, he thinks your crush is a little hopeless. He’s the most popular guy in the office, often has dates lined up every weekend. Jimin hears the way he and his friends talk in the break room. The man is definitely not hurting for female attention.

“Oh, honey,” he sighs, unenthusiastically. “That’s great.” He can’t help but feel a twinge of sadness over how excited you’re getting from a simple ‘hello’ from a coworker.

“I know, right? Anyway, lunch today?” You ask as you settle down into your cubicle.

Jimin pushes his glasses up his face and nods. “Of course! That’s why I came by this morning. I wanted to let you know that Jungkook from marketing will join us.”

You make a face, disgust etched in the lines creasing your forehead. 

“Why?”

Jungkook is well known in the company. He’s a loudmouth, a player, a clown, and everyone’s favorite comedian. He’s just not your favorite.

“Don’t be rude,” Jimin admonishes at your grimace. “He asked to join and well—he’s cute. I can’t say no to him.”

“Oh Christ, Jimin,” you groan. “Not you too! Don’t tell me you have the hots for the serial fuckboy?”

He blushes lightly and shrugs. “Maybe I do! Be nice to him today or I’ll eat all your chocolate ice cream I know you have at home.”

You stick your tongue out, petulantly. “Fine, now let me get to work or else Seokjin will be up my ass.”

Jimin smiles and kisses your cheek before he scurries away, back to human resources.

It feels as if barely any time has passed. You’re working hard, running calculations and updating spreadsheets. You have an eye for numbers, and losing yourself in an equation is just another day for you. You’re shaken from your cheerful place by a vibration from your phone, and a text alert popping on the lit screen.

jimin 12:01 pm- it’s lunchtime!! you better get your butt out here!

You smile and text back an affirmative reply, then move to grab your lunch from the company fridge. Gliding down the steps leading to the fresh outdoors, you meet Jimin at the lunch tables in the grass.

Jimin is sitting with Jungkook. You can recognize your best friend by his hair and glasses, and Jungkook by his obnoxious laughter.

“Hi,” you murmur as you sit down and open up the brown bag lunch you’ve brought.

“Hi!” Jimin is excited to see you, and just a pinch over eager to be sitting next to Jungkook.

“You know Jungkook, right?” Jimin asks, a harsh look in his eyes that reminds you to be on your best behavior.

You nod as you pull out a bag of grapes. “Oh, yeah, hey,” you smile. “I’ve seen you around.”

Jungkook delivers you a signature smirk and you feel yourself roll your eyes internally. “Yeah, you’re Coffee Girl, right?”

You pout and glare down at your brown bag lunch. Will you ever become more than just Coffee Girl?

“Yeah, I suppose that’s me.”

Jimin clears his throat to dismiss any awkwardness. 

“So, Jungkook, I hear you like working out? ___ likes to work out too. She drags me to the gym sometimes. Maybe we could all meet up sometime?” You don’t miss the hopeful lilt in his voice. Jungkook does.

“Oh, yeah?” He narrows a sexy look at you, rather—a look he thinks is sexy that you find off-putting. “What do you do at the gym? Little cardio sets with 5 pound weights?”

What an asshole.

“Sometimes,” you state as you take a bite of the homemade salad you handcrafted last night. “Most of the time I’m lifting heavy. I can bench 275 and deadlift 300.”

Jungkook looks taken back. “What, really?” He sounds breathless. “You lift more than Namjoon-hyung.”

At the sound of the love of your life’s name, you pause. Your face heats quickly and Jungkook smirks. Of course, he recognizes this and not Jimin’s obvious flirting.

“Why are you blushing?” He asks. “Did I say something?”

You’re quick to dismiss things. “Um--no. I just um,” you’re grasping at straws. “I’m hot.”

Jimin is trying not to laugh, hiding his mouth behind a petite hand.

Jungkook tilts his head. “It’s not even sunny today.”

You gulp. “Yeah, I must be hot. With a fever. M-malaria… probably.”

Jungkook snorts. 

“You have malaria? Bummer.” He picks at his nails. “I thought for a moment you had a thing for Namjoon.”

“No!” The retort is quick, too quick for normal conversation, and it gives you away.

“Aha!” Jungkook points an accusing finger at you. “You have the hots for him, don’t you?”

Your features melt, and Jimin tries to assuage the situation. “Jungkook, please don’t tell anyone,” he pleads.

Jungkook smiles at you. “That’s so cute. It’s like a little nerdy freshman crushing on the senior class president.”

You bury your head in your hands, suddenly unable to stomach any food.

“Jungkook,” Jimin’s tone becomes more firm, authoritative. “I’m asking you this as a friend. Please, don’t say anything.”

Jungkook holds his hands up to prove his innocence and waves his proverbial white flag. 

“Secret is safe with me,” he promises. “But it’s cute. I know him really well, you know. I could try to hook you two up.”

You blanch, unsure if you want Jungkook saying anything about you to the man of your dreams. 

“I’m good, but thanks,” you offer meekly. “I’m not feeling well. I’m going to head back to work, okay?”

Jimin frowns, knowing you’re feeling like a cornered animal, and nods. “Feel better, babe,” he sighs.

Jungkook watches as you leave and turns to Jimin. “Man, he’s way out of her league.”

Jimin slaps the boy in the chest. “Be nice, asshole, that’s my best friend.”

Jungkook promises to be nice, and Jimin is blissfully unaware that others are listening and that the man beside him is easy to persuade.

( present day )

The company-wide meeting adjourns soon after what is likely to be the most embarrassing moment you’ve ever lived through.

You’re grabbing at your things and trying to run out of the room, desperate to get out before anyone sees you or talks to you or laughs at you.

A hand grabs at the coattails of your suit jacket and you’re pulled backwards with a yelp. You turn to seek your captor and find the concerned face of your best friend, Jimin.

“Are you okay? What the fuck just happened?”

Jimin’s concern makes it all real. Until now you could pretend you were in a fugue state, totally dissociated from reality. Now, you realize that everyone in the entire company is aware of your crush on Kim Namjoon.

You can feel your bottom lip wobble, tears threatening to spill. Jimin murmurs an ‘oh shit’ and drags you out of the large room and into the nearest bathroom. He pushes you to sit against the sink and passes you toilet paper to dab at your eyes.

“I don’t know how she found out!” you cry. “God, I feel so stupid and embarrassed.”

It incenses Jimin. He’s holding it back to ensure you’re okay, but in reality, it’s an HR nightmare waiting to happen. He’ll find who did it and punish them accordingly.

They will suffer. 

“It’s okay, babe,” he pulls you into a hug. “Everyone will forget about it soon. They’ll think it’s just a lame office joke, okay?”

You nod, feeling the slightest bit comforted by his words. 

“How could she find out, Jiminie?” You ask with a sniffle. “You’re the only person who knows.”

Jimin sighs and shakes his head.

“I don’t know, but they’re dead. I haven’t told any-... oh, my god,” Jimin stops suddenly. You look up at him to catch what he’s thinking.

He growls and balls his fists. 

“Jungkook knew.”

You let out a sob and bawl your eyes out into the tissue you’re holding. Jimin holds you tighter while he conjures up a hundred different ways to hurt someone and make it look like an accident.

“Don’t worry,” Jimin sighs, trying to comfort both you and himself. “I’m HR. I have to handle this. I’ll make sure they get what they deserve.”

You feel a sting of pain for Jimin. He’s been hopelessly doting on the man who spilled the beans for a few months now, even got to take him on a few dates. It was still nothing serious, but Jimin was clearly smitten.

“I’m sorry you have to do that, Chim,” you whisper. “I know how you feel about him.”

“Yeah, well,” he swallows thickly. “You’re more important than any asshole.”

Jimin holds you tight for a few minutes longer, before you clean yourself up and steel yourself. Ignore everyone, Jimin encourages. Just get to work, he says. Then you can go home and we’ll drink wine and forget about it all, he promises.

You replay his words in his head like a prayer as you walk down the corridors and towards your office. Everyone in the hallways stops to stare at you. They lean towards their friends and whisper. You hear snippets of their gossip, like “Namjoon” and “out of her league”. It drives the sharp blade lodged in your chest even further. It threatens to collapse your lungs and break your ribs.

You make it to your desk safe and sound and bury yourself in work and forcibly ignore the gawking and the stares. 

Just make it home. Just get through the day. You’re almost there.

You could do this.

You nearly make it the entire day before running into the one person you didn’t want to see, Kim Namjoon.

At the end of the day, you’re taking the stairs down to the parking garage instead of the elevator. The elevator is too busy, too many people, and you’re trying to avoid the stares and giggles at your expense. The stairs are always deserted and you figure it’s your safest bet.

You can nearly hear the wine calling your name at home. A delicate glass of Sauvignon Blanc and some chocolate ice cream and a good cry—it sounds like the best and only way to unwind after the worst day you’ve ever had in your life.

The chanting of your name gets louder and you wonder if you’ve finally lost your mind—if you’re actually hearing your wine bottles all the way at home talking to you.

No, wait. The voice is real, and coming from behind you. You turn around to face who’s calling you and nearly faint at the sight.

Kim Namjoon stands on the landing above you, one strip of stairs between you.

“Hey!” He seems glad he’s caught you. “I’ve been calling your name for a minute.”

You swallow and search for an answer. 

“Sorry, I’m-.. I guess I’m just a little out of it today.”

Namjoon grimaces. 

“Yeah, about that…” he begins as he takes the steps down to be on equal ground as you. Your heart is spinning wildly. He’s so close to you. He’s talking to you. On any other day you’d be erupting towards the sky like a firework. But today isn’t any other day.

“I feel like I should apologize,” he states. “I don’t know what happened. I didn’t plan it or anything.”

Damn him and his kindness. Damn him and his cute, awkward smile.

“No, no,” you assure. “I know you didn’t. You don’t have to apologize.”

It’s hard to make eye contact with the man. You want to, know it’s important in intense conversations like this, but the thought of him seeing you—really seeing you makes you ache inside.

“It was a really shitty prank,” he begins. “I’m sure you don’t even know who I am, let alone have a crush on me.”

For the millionth time that day, your face heats to a near boil. You stammer and you’re sure you’ve blown any chance at even thinking about a date with Namjoon.

“Oh, uh, right,” you seek an answer, beg your brain to pick something to say that doesn’t make you sound stupid. “I do.”

“You do what?” He’s confused and you widen your eyes at what just left your mouth.

“I do know you! I mean, I do have a crush on you! Oh, fuck,” you shove your face into your hands. “Please, ignore that. I need to go. Sorry!” You don’t give him a chance to reply, you book it out of the stairway as fast as your heels will take you.

Today was the worst day you’ve suffered through in your life.

The next few days aren’t much better.

Not only are you “coffee girl”, you’re now also sarcastically called “Namjoon’s girl”. As much as you hate your initial title, you’d prefer it to the new one they throw at you as you walk by.

Jimin rats out Jungkook and Chungha to the bosses. They get two weeks probation and they have to write you apology letters if they wish to keep their permanent files clean of any reprimands. It’s a slap on the wrist, and everyone involved knows it. Jimin is furious and wants the boss to reconsider. You tell him not to push it. You’d rather this be over and everyone to forget it even happened. Jimin unwillingly agrees.

You’re working at your desk, earphones shoved in your ears to diffuse the gossip in the room, when you feel a tap on your shoulder. You turn and are greeted with the face of Judas Iscariot himself, Jeon Jungkook.

“Hi,” he sounds sheepish, cheeks reddening.

You narrow your eyes at him, sharper than steel. “What the fuck do you want?”

He winces, knowing he deserved that. “Well, I just wanted to apologize. I know they told me to write you a letter, but it seems too impersonal…”. 

You can’t believe Jungkook is sucking his ego up and actually coming to you to apologize. You thought he’d for sure be the one to cop out and send a shitty letter.

He continues. 

“I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry that all went down. I didn’t mean to tell her. She got me drunk and said she saw me eating lunch with you and Jimin. I think she was jealous or something and it slipped out. I know that’s not an excuse. I fucked up your trust and Jimin’s trust. But I just wanted you to know I didn’t do it to be an asshole. She sort of duped me.”

You pause as you take in the man’s apology. He didn’t have to come to you in person. He could have easily taken the shitty route and half-assed a letter to you. But he didn't, and he owned up to his mistake. God dammit.

“I appreciate your apology, Jungkook,” you sigh and you see his body visibly relax. “I’m still mad, but I guess the anger is at her for doing it in the first place. I’m sorry she tricked you.”

He breathes a sigh of relief and kneels down beside you. “I’m really happy you believe me. I was worried you were going to kick me in the nuts.

“I won’t lie, I thought about it.”

He smiles with you, and you feel like this is the restart of a friendship. “I definitely deserved it.”

You shrug and smile. “Jimin would kill me for hurting you. He might even kill me for thinking about hurting you.”

Jungkook’s smile drops at the name of your best friend. Yikes. Looks like there’s still trouble in paradise.

“I think you’d be in similar company with Jimin right now. He’s not speaking to me.”

You let out a breath through your nose. “Yeah, he’s a little protective of me.”

“For good reason,” he admits. “You’re like a cute little flower. A cute nerdy flower.”

“Jungkook,” you warn. “I just forgave you after I was humiliated in front of the entire company. I’d be careful with calling me nerdy right now.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it in a bad way.”

It’s hard to stay mad at the boy, no matter how much you dislike his reputation around the office. The fact that he humbled himself enough to seek you out and apologize is proof enough to you of his character.

“It’s okay, Jungkook. I forgive you,” you smile. “Thank you for apologizing.”

He rubs the back of his neck anxiously as his cheeks flare red.

“Yeah, it felt pretty shitty to just… do anything else. Plus, you seem really cool.”

“You seem great, too, Jungkook.”

He smiles and pulls you in for a hug, catching you off guard. For the fuckboy type, he’s surprisingly sensitive and soft. You like that about him.

“I’ll see you around, okay?” He says as he pulls away from you.

“Maybe you should apologize to Jimin, too?” 

His smile drops, but he nods anyway. “Yeah, maybe I’ll go find him now.”

“Good luck,” you offer with a pat on his shoulder.

With a sad smile, he turns and heads down the hallway towards the HR department. You pray Jimin shows mercy to the handsome boy.

A few weeks go by, and you’re sure that everyone has forgotten about you and your most embarrassing moment to date. You make the coffee, you calculate the numbers, everyone ignores you. Things return to relative normalcy.

Until it doesn't. The moment you think you're safe is the moment your guard comes down and everything falls apart around you.

It's when you're in the staff kitchen, grinding fresh beans to brew a second pot of coffee, that it happens.

The kitchen is fuller than usual. You normally try to wait until the lunchtime crowd dwindles and leaves to make your second pot, but you're so desperate for the caffeine that you can't find it in you to care.

You trudge into the kitchen with your handy coffee mug clutched in your tired hands and head towards the cupboards to grind up the beans.

There's a few groups of coworkers lingering in the room, and as your grinder whirs the beans around into a powder, you chance a look around to see who's among the crowd.

Your eyes flick immediately to where a hearty laugh erupts. It makes your heart still in your throat. Namjoon sits with his usual crowd of friends, hand gripping a homemade sandwich while the other assists him in telling his story to his friends. He pays you no mind—why would he?—and you can't help but stare at the way his dark brown hair lays perfectly against his forehead, and his eyes crinkle so cutely at the edges when he smiles.

You nearly forget about the coffee grounds—you're snapped out of your Namjoon-induced trance when suddenly a woman's laugh echoes around the room.

"Look at her," the voice states.

You peer up and see a girl you vaguely recognize. Is she from Marketing? Or perhaps Sales? You’re not sure, but she’s staring at you with a sneer.

“She’s so weirdly obsessed with Namjoon. It’s so creepy.”

Your face turns cherry red and you’re sure your lungs stop functioning. The air your body needs to breathe freezes and your chest aches. 

Namjoon turns to look at the girl before he looks and sees you grasping your coffee grounds tightly.

“Chungha was right—it’s so weird. Namjoon, you should talk to HR about this!”

Namjoon turns back to the gossiping coworker and frowns. “Can you leave it alone? She wasn’t even doing anything.”

The girl huffs and crosses her arms over her chest and looks back at Namjoon.

“How can you stand to be in the same room as her? She clearly thinks she has a chance with you.”

Her words come out like a bite. She punctuates her point with a harsh laugh and the group around her mumbles and chuckles in agreement.

You’re desperately grabbing at anything you can, wanting to leave as quickly as possible before you’re embarrassed further.

“Well, she does!” Namjoon replies loudly, annoyance written in his features. “I was actually going to ask her to dinner this weekend in private, but since everyone is so fucking interested in my love life, I have to do it publicly.”

The room falls silent, and your favorite mug falls out from your hands and shatters on the floor. All sets of eyes stare at you while yours widen with disbelief—you don't even care that you’re standing in a pool of old coffee and shattered ceramic. 

Namjoon stands and heads over to you, bending down to pick up the shards of your coffee mug. You take a few stunted breaths to kneel and help. 

His eyes peer into yours. They’re warm—a chocolate brown color that makes you feel safe.  

“What do you say?” He asks with a smile so gentle it nearly breaks your heart. “Will you let me take you out this weekend?” 

You’re gaping like a fish and the surrounding room is silent—bated breath waiting for your reply. 

“Yes, I would l-love that.” 

His smile turns even brighter, and he stands to throw the broken mug away. 

“I’ll email you the details, okay?”

Your head nods dumbly without thinking. His eyes sparkle as he smiles at you, and he extends his hand down to you to assist you off the floor. As your hand slips into his, you can’t help but feel how soft and strong he feels. You wonder what his hand would feel like caressing your face, smoothing down the expanse of your bare back, running down the length of your body.

The thoughts shake out of you as he winks and kisses your hand gently, causing the gossiping coworker to grunt her disapproval and for murmurs of shock to echo around the room.

“I’ll talk to you later, doll.” Namjoon winks at you before he grabs his sandwich and leaves the room, gesturing to his crew to follow along.

The place on your hand felt warm where his lips once lingered. You no longer cared about the angry glares from the rest of your coworkers. Your heart beats wildly in your chest, and you leave the kitchen nearly floating on cloud nine.

Email from: Kim Namjoon

Sent: 3:06 pm

Subject: Hey good lookin ;)

Hey! 

Just wanted to see how you are! I’m sorry about what happened at lunchtime. That was super petty and uncalled for. I really wanted to ask you out, and I hope I didn’t embarrass you too much by doing it in front of everyone.

I was wondering if you’d like to go out this Friday night after work? Say around 7? If you send me your address, I’ll pick you up.

Let me know!

Xoxo, Joon

You’re sure if you weren’t sitting in your tiny cubicle, you’d be screaming your lungs out.

The second the notification of the email came through, direct from the man of your desires himself, your body froze.

You re-read the message, over and over and over.  

The winky emoji, the xoxo, the nickname ‘joon’. It’s all so much and makes the grin on your face threaten to split your lips in half.

Your fingers press the “FWD” button and you quickly send the message to Jimin, before you stand demurely, attempting to give off an air of professional confidence. You need to talk to Jimin, now.

As soon as you’re out of the eyesight of suspicious coworkers, you bolt down the hallway towards Human Resources. Your high heels click loudly on the tiled floor, but the sound doesn’t even register in your mind. All you can think about is Namjoon, the email, the press of his lips on your hand, the way his smile made you feel as if you could fly.  

The door to HR swings open with your tight grip around the doorknob, and you open your mouth to call to Jimin, the lone employee, when you’re startled by the sight ahead of you.

Jimin sits on the edge of his expansive desk with his arms thrown around Jungkook’s neck and is clearly engaged in a deep, sensual kiss. At the sound of the door opening, they quickly break apart, with matching cherry red blushes on their cheeks and mused hair.

“Oh, shit,” you gasp. 

The men are silent and you can’t help but giggle after a moment passes. “I’ll take it you two made up?”

Jungkook flashes you a dopey grin, one that gives you an answer, while Jimin smirks haughtily.

“Jungkook and I were just discussing, umm… his 401k.”

Jungkook looks at the blonde boy for a moment, confused, before he gets it. “Yeah! Totally. Retirement. Love to t-talk about it?”

You laugh out loud and walk towards the couple.

“I’m sure it was a titillating discussion,” you tease. “I have good news though, if it’s okay to interrupt this retirement planning session.”

Jimin nods and Jungkook rubs at the back of his neck awkwardly. “I guess I should leave?”

“It’s okay,” you smile. “I trust you.”

Jungkook smiles as if he’s just won the lottery. He looks between you and Jimin, face pure and excited like a puppy.

“What’s up?” Jimin asks as he moves to sit down at his desk.

“I forwarded you an email. Read it.”

Jimin nods and logs on to his posh computer, scrolling and clicking before narrowing his eyes and reading.

“Oh, my god.” Jimin’s face is shocked—it's written all over his features. “Namjoon asked you out?!”

Jungkook’s child-like grin turns into one of shock himself. He runs around to stand behind Jimin, eyes seeking over the words of the email.

“Well, hot damn,” Jungkook whistles. “He asked her out.”

Jimin exchanges a look with Jungkook, one that you’re not sure you can read. It quickly slips your mind, however, as you’re more focused on the task at hand.

“Can you come over tonight after work and help me pick out something to wear?” You ask excitedly.

Jimin smiles at you, a touch of sadness in his eyes, before he nods.

“Of course, babe,” he assures. “We’ll make sure you look nice and hot for the date with Mr. Kim.”

“Thank you!” You squeal as you wrap your arms around your best friend. He hugs you back before you scurry out of the office and back to your cubicle, itching to reply to the message.

Jimin sighs as the door to his office closes behind you.

“Kook, please don’t tell me he’s going to break her heart. He’s asking her out to make himself feel better about this, isn’t he?” 

Jungkook slips his hand into Jimin’s and squeezes. 

“I’ll find out, baby.”

Jimin smiles and nods appreciatively at the boy, before leaning up and kissing him.

Jungkook smiles against his lips, and is determined to ensure the young HR specialist never hates him again, even if he has to go behind his hyung’s back to ensure his new boyfriend’s happiness.

Jungkook has one mission now, and that’s ensuring Namjoon takes you on the greatest date known to man.

He grills Jimin with questions about what you like over dinner one night. Jimin finds it endearing that Jungkook is so eager to rectify his mistakes, but he still can’t help but worry that Namjoon is doing this to save face—not because he actually likes you.

“So, what does she like doing?” Jungkook asks as he spins his pasta around his chopsticks idly.

Jimin smiles as he takes a bite of the ramen Jungkook has thoughtfully prepared for their stay-at-home date.  

“I’ve told you already! She’s easy to figure out.” Jimin pats Jungkook’s hand gently. “She loves cooking and baking, working out, daydreaming about Namjoon.” 

“Cooking, hm,” Jungkook looks thoughtful as he takes a bite. “I think Namjoon can work with that. I’ll let him know!”

Jimin tries to hide the anxiety brewing in his stomach. He’s had to plaster on a fake smile for you while you tried on different outfits, wondering which will be the one to finally convince Namjoon he is the one for you. It’s hard to fake it around his boyfriend, too—but something tugs in his stomach that flares the cynical side of him.

Namjoon went from not knowing of your existence, to watching you get publicly embarrassed in a matter of minutes. While Namjoon isn’t a terrible guy, Jimin knows he doesn’t like anything to tarnish the gentleman reputation he’s built in the office. And as much as Jimin likes him, and surely likes his friend Jungkook, he can’t help but feel skeptical.

Jungkook hurriedly pulls out his phone and types away, letting his elder friend know of what he’s found out. Jimin swallows his food, and his pride, and hopes to god his growing cynicism is wrong.

Friday comes slower than you’d like. You wake up every day during the week, one day closer, and your eagerness hits peak levels. Namjoon sees you in the hallways during the week and winks at you, hands shoved in his tight slacks that make you salivate.  

He emails you again Thursday afternoon, confirming things and getting your address. You reply in nanoseconds, uncaring how overeager you come off. 

By the time your alarm clock rings on Friday morning, you’ve already been awake for 4 hours.

All you can do is daydream about the date, the way his hand fits into yours, the warmth of his eyes when he smiles at you.

It’s what fuels you through work.

You hope to god the numbers you’re attempting to work during the day come out right, because your mind is elsewhere for more than most of the day. There isn’t enough coffee in the world, but also your body feels as if you’ve overdosed on caffeine already.

The clock eeks towards 5:00 pm and you’re bolting out the door at 4:56 to head home and get ready for your date.

Jimin attempts to meet you before you leave, but your desk is cold and empty by the time he gets there.  

He sighs and heads back towards his office to gather his things, waving bye to various coworkers as they file out of the corporate building.

He turns the corner towards his office but stops in his tracks as he sees Namjoon’s back to him, phone pressed to his ear.

“Baby, I’ll come over later tonight, okay?” Namjoon speaks into the phone.

Jimin feels his heart fall into the pit of his stomach. He retreats and hides behind a wall, ear carefully peeled to listen to the tall man’s conversation.

“I’m going on this date with that chick from work,” he sighs. “It won’t last more than a few hours. Poor girl has a crush on me and you know the usual assholes won’t leave her alone.”

Jimin bites his lip and clenches his fist. Namjoon thinks he means well, but he knows his suspicions have been confirmed, and he’s torn inside. He wants to tell you, to warn you not to get too invested in the man, but he also has no interest in popping the bubble you’ve been in since the day he asked you out.

Jimin lets it simmer for now. He decides he’ll monitor Namjoon and cut things off if it appears the man strings you along for fun.

Namjoon finishes his phone call with a promise to see whoever is on the other end of the phone later that night, and Jimin quickly pulls out his phone and fakes a conversation with no one when he hears the man approach.

“Oh, Kookie,” Jimin giggles, leaning against the wall casually. “I can’t wait to see you tonight, either, babe.”

Namjoon walks towards Jimin and makes eye contact with the HR specialist.

“Bye, Kook! See you tonight, baby.” Jimin finishes up the fake phone call as Namjoon arrives next to him, and he plasters on his best fake smile.

“Congrats on you and Jungkook,” he speaks sincerely.

Jimin hates how nice he is, hates that he’s a nice guy who gets too wrapped up in his own good looks and reputation.

“Thanks, Namjoon,” Jimin smiles uneasily. “You too! Have fun on your date tonight.”

Namjoon’s face lights up and Jimin desperately wishes he could go back in time to 30 seconds ago, before he heard the conversation, and believe that Namjoon truly wanted to date you.

“Thanks, should be fun, huh?” He winks and nudges Jimin, before he waves a goodbye and continues out the door.

Jimin pulls his phone out of his pocket and dials the number of his boyfriend.

“Hey, baby. We’ve got a problem.”

tag list! - @jimidol @aretha170 @dearbambideer​ 

[illumilu]

there’s only one bed” - illumi zoldyck x reader

a/n: a very stereotypical cliche for fanfics, but, yk what? cringe makes the world go round. so here, have my drabbling of what would happen if you were to spend an unwanted night in the same hotel bed as the adultrio. i feel like i may have made this way too long again, but who cares?? this time it’s with illumi! aka loml ...

summary: after a lengthy car trip, you arrive at the hotel with illumi, but to your horror (wink wink), there’s only one bed. including: you dreaming abt him when he’s literally right in front of you (embarrassing). this is part two of a three-part series, with the adultrio. hisoka is already written and chrollo will be coming soon!

warnings: no particular trigger warnings, lowercase intended, a lot of fluff! and cuddling! only on your part though, since illumi is basically awkwardness personified... no nsfw <3

illumi zoldyck:

- the trip to the hotel had taken 6 hours. 6 hours in which you had fallen asleep multiple times, cramped your legs, somehow made every sleeping position dangerously uncomfortable, cracked your neck and twisted your back, possibly to the point of no return.

- for mr zoldyck, or rather, “illumi”, as he had instructed you to call him, the trip was no problem. his upbringing, which consisted of mainly torture, included staying awake for as long as a fortnight at a time. 6 hours may as well have been a few minutes. 

- “the silent son of the zoldycks” was his reputational nickname, or, rather, “lifeless koi fish”, as your friend, hisoka, enjoyed calling him. either way, illumi was not going to let a car ride tire him.

- when you had first met him, he had scared you. a lot. the entire “trained dangerous traumatised assassin” storyline was one that felt like a threat. you were undoubtedly taking a risk by working with him, but it was one you were willing to; it may have been twisted, but murder was your forte, and you were searching for a partner.

- over time, you had grown to be less intimidated by him.

- you were now colleagues with him, working on a new assassination.

- shockingly, planning murder took time, and who better to plan it with than the assassin himself? you had spent the past day on a “business trip”, paid for by illumi’s grandfather, where you sized up the area and familiarised yourself with yorknew.

- all for the big night.

- tonight was the day before the murder of the ten dons.

- illumi and kalluto would carry out the murder, while you made sure everything went smoothly, via a small mic attached to his clothes. the entire operation was based on trust, and would therefore be executed like clockwork.

- you had taken the necessary mental images and kept the targets in mind; all that was left was a night at a pre-booked hotel and then it would be go-time.

- you had assumed that the hotel would be high-class, with doormen, perhaps some marble flooring and pillars - it was the zoldycks who were paying, after all, and you knew they had money to spare. 

- “we’re here.” illumi stated blankly, face reflecting in the window. admittedly, he did look a little bit like a koi fish.

- you nudged past him to look out of the window, leaning over to get a good view.

- oh.

- it seemed you had made quite the overestimation. it was a simple, plain building with a few stories. no doormen or extravagance could be sighted.

- you supposed keeping a low profile was important, but the depressing accommodation was somehow making you wearier.

- the two of you didn’t exchange any conversation on the way up to your room, but you were used to that. 

- you and illumi had met around 5 months ago, and most of it had been comfortable silence. you hadn’t expected it to be like that - in all honesty, you had expected him to kill you - but illumi seemed... calm around you. 

- it was probably because you shared such an odd passion with him; the logistics of murder. you assumed it gave him a chance to loosen his harsh demeanour and enjoy himself. the both of you had worked on multiple murders together, focusing on theory and planning, but this was a huge assassination. nevertheless, you knew he could pull it off; illumi was smart, you had to give him that.

- finally, you arrived at your hotel room, sighing from the lengthy stairway winding up to your unnecessarily high room. you assumed it was for safety purposes, but for god’s sake; why did safety have to be so enervating?

- illumi pushed the door open, and you walked in with him. finally, you could catch some rest.

- except, you couldn’t. 

- a singular bed placed in the middle of the room.

- “why.” you thought to yourself tiredly. 

- you stood there silently, waiting for him to say something. 

- then, you remembered that he was illumi. he obviously wouldn’t see anything wrong with the situation. 

- the bastard.

- it didn’t help that he gave you no visible reaction when you stared at him with your face scrunched up expectantly, as if to ask what his plan was.

- “is there a problem, y/n?” illumi asked, his tone flat as usual.

- you took a deep, worn out breath, clearing your throat.

- after a bit, you shook your head. this was strictly professional. illumi wouldn’t do anything, because he was illumi. nothing would happen.this was an important night, where rest and a clear mind were essential. blame it on the fatigue, and nothing else. you were just exhausted. there was nothing else to it. nothing.

- “no. i’m just a little tired.” you dismissed.

- a silence skimmed past.

- “my grandfather... he often tends to be absentminded. occasionally, he forgets to do certain things, or plan them correctly, i suppose. you could say this is a prime example of such.”

- “zeno forgot another goddamn bed, hm?” you laughed nervously.

- illumi stared at you once again, blinking a few times, in a methodical manner, face neutral and robotic. you smiled awkwardly and remembered that he was not one to laugh at jokes. or anything, for that matter. 

- you wondered if he laughed at bloodshed. or maybe hisoka.

- “i’m going to... go to set up my stuff now.” 

- turning your back to illumi, you winced at the uncomfortable air. even after all your time with him, you never learnt to stop trying to lighten the mood. the mood was literally just always unnatural, in some way. that was another one of illumi’s specialties.

- after some time, in which you had finalized tomorrow's plan and each changed into comfortable clothes, you watched illumi tie his hair up from across the room. 

- his hair had always fascinated you. 

- you had always wanted to touch it. honestly, even when you had first met him, apart from his magnetic eyes, you had been drawn to his hair. you imagined it felt like silk sheets, caressing over one’s hands as smoothly as honey. you were glad he grew it out; in fact, upon seeing his teenage photos, you had laughed so hard you ended up getting a nosebleed from hitting your face. illumi had been left in confusion for a while.

- you realized how random you sounded. why were you reminiscing so much? 

- shaking yourself back to your senses, you admired as he artfully twisted his hair into a loose bun, strands of hair cupping his elegant, pale face.

- what a beautiful koi fish.

- most people couldn’t compute that illumi had true, human feelings. after all, it would be hard to believe a man like him felt anything. but, of course, he did, unhealthily so. he channeled all his trauma and hurt into his villainy, and received happiness from his villainy, anger from his villainy and occasionally fear from his villainy.  however, there was one emotion he could never grasp. he hated himself for it, but soon realised he could manipulate his hatred into villainy, too.

- illumi was a man who could manipulate anyone or anything he wished. 

- except himself.

- internally, he had always felt at a loss whenever he confronted his emotions. but, after he had met you, something had changed. as he caught you staring at his hair through the hotel mirror, he couldn’t help but feel something small stir inside of his stomach. not evil, not happiness, not hatred, not anger. perhaps, friendship?

- this tinge of new emotion inside of him initially made him feel uneasy, but that worry morphed into giddiness, a childish high buzzing somewhere in his core.

- eventually, he stood up to face you and suggested going to sleep. you checked the time on the wall clock. 8 in the evening. well, illumi had always been particular. you agreed that rest was essential for tomorrow.

- you hesitantly took the left side, and, upon seeing your choice, illumi followed to lie on the right.

- after a few minutes, you looked back at him, noticing illumi fell asleep abnormally quickly. you furrowed your brow quizzically at the rock-like manner he was in. frankly, he looked like a plank when he slept. you almost laughed, but held it in for his sake. 

- he had a very specific sleep schedule, as did the other zoldycks. he could go to sleep immediately at his own command, and stayed perfectly still as he did so. he woke up at 5 in the morning every single day, without fail, almost like he had some sort of alarm clock planted in his body. 

- looking at him lying there like a block, you smiled softly. illumi was quite the conundrum to you. you often speculated whether he ever got what he deserved; love, affection, anything really. you knew about his past from when he had told you nonchalantly, within a few weeks of your acquaintance. you always hoped he’d find someone to love him, but doubted whether people would bother looking beyond his bleak surface, and into his excellent mind. lost in thought, you found yourself getting drowsier. you also fell asleep generally quickly, limbs aching from the stupid car ride.

- the night passed.

- illumi was the first to wake up at 5am, stoic and in the same place he had fallen asleep in. no surprise there.

- but you. 

- that was the first thing he saw when his eyes opened.

- he did not expect you to be lying on him lazily, snuggling into his body, arm and leg comfortably wrapped around his side. you were breathing lightly, face burrowing onto the ridge of his chest.

- i suppose you didn’t expect to be there either, which he realized, but the point still remained.

- why were on you his chest.

- “y/n.”

- no answer.

- illumi could have pushed you away; in fact, he could have blown you 983 metres away (his personal record). 

- but he didn’t.

- it wasn’t the thought of disturbing your comfort that stopped illumi from hurling you into oblivion. it wasn’t the fact that he explicitly enjoyed it, either. he remembered that the mission was today; if he were to wake you, and you hadn’t slept enough, you wouldn’t be at your upmost performance.

- the murder of the ten dons was his priority, right? yes. it was. there was no doubt about it. that was the only and final reason he wouldn’t wake you. end of discussion. 

- so, illumi stayed there, waiting for you to wake up and get off of him. 30 minutes passed, and he watched you for every single one.

- hard as it was to admit, watching you rise and fall in sync with his chest made the spark of emotion in his core grow fervently. what had that foreign feeling been? yesterday, he had settled at friendship, but now he wasn’t so sure.

- you looked so peaceful while you slept. less confusing. he remembered the time you had accidentally complimented his hair when the two of you had first met. he had found that amusing. he remembered the time you got a nosebleed from hitting your face too hard - it was after laughing at his teenage pictures, which perplexed him greatly. he remembered the times you two had sat together, working and theorizing on missions, accidentally meeting eyes or brushing hands. one time, you had dipped one of his pins in ink and scratched his name on some paper “for fun”. you had handed it to him and, for some unknown reason, the scrap was still tucked safely in his wallet. your unrivaled intelligence, your idiotic sense of humour, your smile, your lack of common sense, your twinkling eyes that so ironically contrasted his, everything. everything crossed his mind while he lay there.

- illumi found it strange how people remembered the oddest things at the oddest times. 

- why did he think of that now, as you were sleeping? even worse, on the day of a meticulously planned assassination. why couldn’t he manipulate his emotions to stop fluctuating around you so much?

- it all frustrated him.

- why had he let you call him by “illumi” so quickly? mr zoldyck would have been fine. and why had he been so lenient with your antics? no one else got to touch his pins. why did he feel like keeping you on his chest forever, and keeping you safe? most importantly, why was he thinking about you so much?

- his contemplation came to a halt when he heard you stir a little in your sleep.

-  finally, you’d wake up and he could forget about this entire problem.

- he watched you, expecting you to get up soon.

- you began shuffling around, brushing against his chest, and soon your eyes fluttered open, hazy and glazed over. it almost seemed like you were still in a dream, in some sort of half-sleep.

- “huh?” you whispered quietly, still lying on illumi. you looked up lazily, meeting eyes with him.

- “oh... i get it...” you hummed quietly, falling back onto his chest.

- he furrowed his brows.

- “why are you here?” you hugged him from the side, softly laughing at your ridiculous dream. he tensed up at you embracing him, but soon relaxed after realizing what was going on.

- illumi looked at you, one eyebrow raised. did you... think you were dreaming?

- to be honest, he found it kind of entertaining, the way you were fawning over him. if he let you stay there, he could figure out a lot of things about his newly found emotion. it could be worth it. just not today.

- illumi came back to his senses fairly quickly; you were obviously awake now, so why couldn’t you get off of him already?

- “y/n.”

- “mmm? what? so serious all the damn timeee, illum-” 

- “you aren’t dreaming. get off.”

- SHIT

- SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

- you jolted off him immediately, staring down at illumi zoldyck. 

- the real illumi zoldyck.

- oh my god what. what. what. what.

- every nerve in your body began to panic, and, in the stress of trying to find the correct words to say, you just ended up making some sort of incomputable “aaaahhh” noise and jumping off the bed.

-  illumi had finally gotten up and was now staring concernedly at you.

- an awkward pause.

- “let me just start by saying i did not-”

- “y/n. we have more pressing priorities for today. i don’t care.”

- illumi zoldyck had lied. even to himself. he did care. and so what if he ignored it until it festered so intensely inside of him he couldn’t do anything but tell you? he cared about you. and he knew it.

- “ok. you’re right. you’re right! illumi. one question. was i like that the whole night?”

- “i don’t know. i woke up at 5 and you were there.”

- you looked at the clock. it was 6am? what had he been doing for an hour? you opened your mouth to ask but closed it soon after. you recalled your thoughts about illumi growing up void of affection, or love, or appreciation. 

- some questions were best left unanswered.

- “how long was i... mumbling like that?”

- “a few minutes.”

- you gulped. there were a few things you had to come to terms with. shutting your eyes firmly, you apologised profusely, annoyed at yourself.

- “y/n. i don’t care.” he lied once again.

- “you’re right!” you rambled - “the ten dons are today! it doesn’t matter what i said... none of it matters, we can both just forget it!”

- you sounded like you were trying to convince yourself more than anyone.

- “so all we need to do is go over the plan one last time, get kalluto, and then we’ll carry it out, and soon enou-”

- “stop it. you’re wasting time. just go and get ready.”

- you sighed and smiled weakly. on the inside, you were sure your soul had died a little.

- while you left to change, overcome by embarrassment, illumi lingered by the bed for a few seconds. he tried to push down whatever he was currently feeling, but it was no use. the feeling in his core had risen up to his throat, a burst of something waiting to leave his lips. 

- for the first time in a while, illumi zoldyck smiled. not at murder, or at power, or fulfillment, or achievement, or even villainy.

- illumi zoldyck had smiled at the thought of you.

- let’s just say illumi had trouble focusing on his mission. 

i am honestly so fucking sorry you had to read that whole thing. the way i am literally in love with illumi zoldyck and ended up writing 2857 words bye bye bye i’m so sorry!!! PLZ what?? anyways,, i feel like i heavily underwrote hisoka now, since i did such a prologue thing for this! honestly i feel like this one came out a little boring, im sorry again AAAAA just agh; chrollo should b coming when i have time but i have exams rn so idkkkk hh

either way, likes or reblogs or whatever are super appreciated, but don’t feel forced to or anything! either way, i feel like no one’s gonna see this with my reach LMAOO but anyways thank you for reading, if you made it here! feedback and tips for writing on here are always helpful :)