#this was the first lesbian i saw on the internet ever

[sno0pidity]

"oh my god why am i into this, this is so childish"

.

.

[beesspacedotorg]

The Sky is Blue, the Grass is Green

Summary: You love your girlfriend more than anything else in the world. It's not hard, she's perfect for you. You'd give her everything she could ever want and more still.

Warning: SEX LESBIAN SEX WITH GIRLS AND LESBIANS. I will say that reader has a vagina as does lino. hits is because I wrote this while half asleep after not sleeping for 16 hours with a sore throat and forgot to write gender neutral reader. outside of the fact that the reader has one of those body type is not specified because :|. uh. spanking (sorry, I'm me) and mommy kink (me) and girls being in love with each other

notes: happy pride month. I've been listening to a lot of music by sapphics recently and it made me gay. Also I saw some loser say that Chappell Roan is the first queer person to publicly yearn for women and that is phenomenally untrue. Internet person who I've never met, this was written to spite you. Sorry for not making this more inclusive to women of all body types or to all lesbians regardless of gender. mayhaps I will write something for you soon. EXTRA NOTE: Moon Chaeyoung is not a kpop idol (to my knowledge) she is Cindy Moon aka Silk aka a Spider-Man. Chaeyoung is her Korean name. sorry for the slander, Cindy, I love you more than anything but I needed a name.

You’re going to make her your wife one day. You know this with the certainty that you know everything else. The sky is blue, the grass is green, you are going to marry Lee Minho. You’re staring at her, watching her make breakfast (that isn’t actually breakfast because you’re eating it at 2pm) in an old school shirt of yours and you can feel your love for her swell through your heart to be pumped through the rest of your body. You think that loving her is the most effective drug on the planet, that people wouldn’t need anything stronger than an ibuprofen because just spending a minute alone with her is enough to give you a high unlike any other. She turns around to plate the food and catches you staring, she always does, and it makes her ears blush crimson.

“Yah,” she says it softly, “take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

“Why would I need a picture when I have the real thing right in front of me?” Her ears turn a new, deeper shade of red and she avoids your gaze.

“You’re a charmer, you know that?”

“I have the most beautiful woman in the world in front of me and you want me to be normal about it?” You roll your eyes playfully, and reach for your cup to take a sip of your juice.

“No, you don’t,” she says, suddenly.

“‘No, I don’t’ what?”

“You don’t have the most beautiful woman in the world in front of you,” she hands you your plate - with no eggs because you can’t stand them, and no pork because it makes you sick, and french toast the way your dad used to make on lazy Sunday mornings - made with love and care just like everything else she does.

“You don’t have the most beautiful woman in the world in front of you,” she repeats, sitting down next to you with her breakfast that’s completely different from yours, “I do.”

-

“Minnie Mouse?” You just came from work, calling through the house to see if she’s home, too. You can tell from the aggravated sigh that comes from the living room that she is, indeed, home.

“You could literally call me anything else,” she’s wrestling Dori on her lap, the tabby always staunchly opposed to having his nails clipped.

“Where’s the fun in that?” You sit down beside her and take the clippers, letting her soothe and calm Dori while you make yourself his least favorite for the night. You’ll live. He’ll come begging for attention when Minho’s too busy being great at everything to give it to him.

“The fun is not having your girlfriend break your toes in your sleep.” You laugh at her and bring her Doongie, holding him instead because he doesn’t care about the whole process even a little bit and you want to pet his soft head.

“Did you know there’s nothing they can do for broken toes?”

“Really? Doongie, please stop wiggling so much.”

“Yeah, they kind of just say ‘good luck’ and kick you out before charging you one million dollars for breathing hospital air.”

“American healthcare really is something. How’d you learn that by the way?”

“My friend had an experience once. Also, it was mentioned in a video game.” She laughs, kissing Doongie’s forehead, then yours.

“Did you learn anything else in that video game?”

“I have incredibly poor hand-eye coordination.”

“I could’ve told you that.”

“What- what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Will you get a towel to wrap Soongie in, please?”

“Hey, wait. Hey! You can’t just say weird things and walk away!”

(“Can you really tell that I have poor hand-eye coordination?” You ask her this while she’s splayed out under you, two of your fingers knuckle deep in her sweet cunt while a thumb circles her clit.

“What?” She’s out of breath and her chest is heaving in a way that makes her tits look even hotter than normal. You almost lose your train of thought.

“Earlier. You said you can tell that I have poor hand-eye coordination.”

“Jesus- you stopped fucking me to ask me that?” One of her hands that was cradling your wrist goes up to her eyes to rub at them. “You’re something else.”

“Well! I just remembered it! Maybe I’m not doing a good job-”

“Stupid girl,” she’s got you on your back now, seemingly not caring about the orgasm she was approaching before you got distracted. “When have I ever not told you when I didn’t like something?”

“Uh. Never?”

“Exactly, so why do you think I’d start now? With this?” She gestures between the two of you and you look, stupidly, like you will see something other than your naked, sweaty body and her equally naked, equally sweaty, incredibly sexy body.

“That’s… that’s a great question.”

“I was just teasing, jagi. That’s all.” She kisses the side of your mouth and you can feel the way her lashes flutter along your cheek in a perfect butterfly kiss. Everything about her makes you fall deeper in love the longer you know her, even her stupidly long and perfect eyelashes.

“So, about my hand-eye coordination.” She drops her head to your shoulder with another curse and your hand comes up to play with her hair.

“It’s still bad, believe me. I don’t notice it when we have sex, though. You’re perfectly good with your hands, jagi.”

“The best?” She smiles, kisses you on the mouth this time.

“The best.”)

-

She’s got you in between her legs in the tub, her strong thighs thrown over yours so you can’t move while she aims the jet of the shower head directly on your clit. It’s almost too much, it always is, an unyielding wall of pressure that sends shocks of pleasure through your body in a way that makes you squirmy beyond belief. The first time you did this to yourself, you ended up with bruises on your back, the first time you did this with her, you almost elbowed her in the face. As it stands, she’s got her arms wrapped around you as best she can as you whine underneath her.

“I can’t, I can’t. ‘S too much, please.”

“Jagi,” she coos it right into your ear, “you haven’t even came yet. You keep tapping out before it gets good. Don’t you wanna come, baby?” You nod and she tilts her head out of the way so you don’t nail her in the jaw.

“I want to, but it’s so much.” She coos as you again as your legs scramble uselessly for purchase underneath hers. The tile is too slippery for you to do so, and Minho’s thighs are no joke. She’s danced for years and her gym routine is nothing to scoff at. You could spend hours writing sonnets about her legs if you weren’t so distracted.

“You can though, can’t you, kitty cat?” Your hand pats frantically at her arm until she gets the message to hold it in one of her own. “You can be good for me, right? You’ll come the way I want you to?”

The sound you let out in response to that is more of a cry than anything else, she shushes you and kisses your cheek sweetly like she isn’t the one overloading your nerves with sensation, like the isn’t the one unleashing as much water pressure as possible on the most sensitive part of your body. She shifts her grip just slightly, adjusts the angle and that has you lurching forward so fast you almost knock her over.

“Silly girl, don’t run.” She pulls you right back to her chest, boobs pressed against your back as she fixes the spray directly at the angle that had you reeling. “I always forget how squirmy you get when we do this.” She giggles, like she’s watching a silly cartoon.

“Mommy,” you can’t think enough to say anything intelligent, high, pitchy moans coming out in place of words. You want to answer her, to tell her you weren’t trying to run, that you will be a good girl for her. She’s trained you better than this, but you can’t say much else beyond her title, beyond her name. You hope she knows what you’re trying to tell her anyway.

“Oh, jagi.” Her voice is soft and sweet, but the way she’s pinning you is not. Neither is the way she’s forcing you to take what she gives you. “Mommy’s here, kitty cat. Mommy’s got you.”

“Mommy. Mommy.” You’re repeating it, over and over, too dumb to say anything else as you feel the overwhelming input you’ve been receiving crest higher and higher. She hums after each mention of her name like she understands what you’re saying. Hums like you’re one of the cats meowing at her for attention. You suppose she’s not too far off.

You cum with a near silent scream, breath halting in your chest in a way that used to concern Minho when it first happened. She doesn’t keep the water pressure going for too long after that, dropping the showerhead to replace the stream with her fingers to help you ride it out. She only loosens her grip when you slump back against her, loose limbed and dazed, muscles still twitching from how tightly they were tensed. She kisses the side of your face and very politely keeps her hands above your waistline while you calm down.

“You feel better?” She’s holding the shower head again, and giggles when you close your legs, simply holding it to the side so it doesn’t spray water all over the floor.

“Mhm. Thank you, mommy.”

“I’m glad. Let’s finish showering, yeah? Mommy will clean you up.”

 (You’re leaning heavily against her as she guides you to sit on the bed, grabbing your respective lotions and hair care products and turning to take care of you first. You whine at her.

“Let me do yours!” She raises an eyebrow.

“Keep your eyes open for more than thirty seconds and maybe I will.” You lift your hands and manually pry your eyelids apart. She bats at them until you stop.

“Ew, it’s so gross when you do that. Freak.”

“I miss five minutes ago when you were telling me I’m the love of your life.”

“Five minutes ago you weren’t being a little shit head.”

“False. I’m always a shit head.” She hums and grabs your chin, wiggling your head a little until you look at her.

“No, sometimes, you’re my sweet little girl.”

“Oh.” There’s absolutely no hiding the way you react to her when she talks to you like that and your hands fly to her hips as she lets go and leans back out of your personal space to grab the stuff to start your post-shower routine.

“Let me eat you out.” It’s sudden, and comes out of you in a rush.

“What?” She nearly drops the bottle of leave-in, ears turning red.

“Please? Please. I’ll get on my knees right now.” She scoffs.

“You’re falling asleep as we speak”

“No, I’m wide awake right now. Please let me, please.” She hums.

“Let me finish what I’m doing and if you’re still speaking in full sentences and not going crazy with sleep induced hysteria, I’ll let you.”

“Yippee!”

“If you fall asleep you can have what you want in the morning.”

“You’re the best, ever.”

“I’m aware.”

By the time she’s done taking care of the both of you, you are definitely not well enough to be doing anything. That doesn’t stop you from trying though, and you fall asleep with your head pillowed on one of Minho’s thighs. She has to readjust you so you don’t suffocate in her cunt. What a way to go.)

-

Minho is having a bad day today. It isn’t often she has those, generally unflappable to most things, but she’d gotten into a fight with one of her work friends and came home in a huff.

“I just don’t understand why she won’t listen to me!” She’s slamming things open and closed around the kitchen while you sit on the counter. She works around you as she always does and doesn’t slam anything if it’s less than two feet away from you.

“I know, she’s a bitch. You should report her to HR or something.”

“I should!”

“I’ll help you draft the email. I’m very good at sounding bitchy in a nice way.”

“You are!” She’s aggressively chopping vegetables next to you and you rest a hand on her shoulder.

“Be careful of your fingers, lovie.”

“I’m always careful.”

“Of course you are,” you’re unusually agreeable because it will do nothing but harm to work your girlfriend up when she’s already upset. Besides, of the two of you, you’re more clumsy, so it’s not like you have any legs to stand on. 

“Do you want solutions to what’s going on, or do you want me to keep calling your coworkers mean names?” It’s nice to ask people what kind of support they want, you learned. Minho is a coin toss, sometimes she wants an immediate solution, sometimes she wants to complain. You always do your best to meet her where she is.

“The second one, please.” She’s sauteeing something in the wok, and it smells delicious. You peer over her shoulder.

“Pause. Is that pancit?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re the love of my life.”

“Yes, yes,” you touch your pointer finger to the tip of an iron-hot ear as she speaks, “please call Moon Chaeyoung a cunt again, it’s funny.”

And so you do, going into detail about all the ways Moon Chaeyoung is inferior at her job compared to your girlfriend until she asks you for genuine help.

(“Is there anything else you need?” She’s laying with her head in your lap as you make tiny braids in her hair. Her eyes are closing and she hums as she thinks about it. You’ve already given her all the advice that you can, her only course of action now is to do it.

“Well. I can think of some things.” She turns her head to the side and shoves her face into your crotch like an animal. You swat her shoulder lightly.

“You’re a horn dog. Insatiable.” She turns her eyes to you, squinting them so her cat-like gaze shifts from playful to predatory.

“Which one of us woke the other up this morning because they couldn’t stop shoving their hands in their pants?” She sits up, leaning over you.

“I was dreaming!” You’re giggling, slipping under her arm and moving away.

“You kept going after I woke you up!” She stands up, throwing her arms in the air indignantly. You cross your arms in response.

“I was horny!” 

“That’s exactly my point.” She has her head in her hands so the words come out muffled. She grumbles something and lunges after you. You squeal and head towards your room.

“Yah! Get back here you little shit!” She lets out a huff as you throw a cat toy at her.

“I thought I was the love of your life!”

“That was before you decided to run from me- don’t you dare close that damn door-” The bedroom door clicks shut and the sound of your giggles is uncontrollable. You hear her walk away before the lock jiggles and her head pops through.

“Guess who?” You laugh again, heading towards the bed to throw more things at her, it does nothing to stop her. It’s not long before she has you pinned underneath her.

“Hi,” you smile at her, leaning up for a kiss.

“All that and all you want to say to me is ‘hi’?”

“Yeah.” She rolls her eyes and flips you over as you yelp in surprise. You’re about to start questioning her when a sharp sting lights up your ass.

“Ah- Minho! Hey!”

“Stop squirming. I’m not done yet.” There’s another smack over your pants before she pulls them down and her palm is connecting with skin.

“This isn’t fair! I didn’t even do anything!” You’re protesting while laying limply across her lap. She laughs at you.

“‘This isn’t fair’ she whines. Why is your pussy so wet then, hmm?” She spreads your legs a bit and lands a smack there too, snickering when your legs close reflexively on her hand. “Be a good girl, jagi. Take what you’re given.”)

-

It’s sunny when you ask her. The air is hot and humid and she’s wearing this dress that’s making your brain melt out of your ears. You’re having a picnic, because you can, and she’s talking about this show that she’s watching with Jisung.

“And then- and you’ll never fucking believe this- he goes ‘I could never court her’ and she overhears. If that happened to me I would literally explode.” You hum, shoving a heart shaped sandwich in her mouth while you look at her side profile. She’s beautiful, sharp nose and a round face. You want to live the rest of your life with her.

You’ve talked about it before, on hazy mornings when the rest of the world is just waking. In the middle of the night when the only sound is the hoot of owls and the buzz of crickets. At lunch, at dinner, at breakfast. In the shower, over the phone, through text messaging when you’re at work. You both are listed on the cat's vet information, something she changed a year into dating that she was nervous about telling you.

  “I don’t want you to feel pressured,” she’d said, “or like they’re your responsibility. I can take you off if you want, but I thought that if I was out of town or if something happened, you should be able to take care of them.” She’d been nervous, ears red with shame instead of the cute way they flush when you flirt with her. 

“Thank you, jagi.” You don’t often call her that, preferring to torture her with bad puns using the syllables of her name, so her breath catches in her throat.

“You’re sure?”

“Of course.”

She knows every order that you get from fast food restaurants, she hounded your parents for their chicken noodle soup recipe when you got sick one time. She learned how to make your grandma’s spaghetti sauce and let’s you call her mommy in bed because it makes you feel safe.

She’s everything to you and then some, so when you tap her shoulder and hold out the ring you bought, it’s as natural as breathing. A fact of life, an inevitability. The sky is blue, the grass is green, you are going to marry Lee Minho.

“He keeps friendzoning her. It's absolutely despicable, like, are you blind or something-” She turns her gaze to you and her eyes go wide. “You’re joking.” Her eyes are welling with tears, something that you hardly ever see.

“I’m as serious as a heart attack, baby. Will you be my wife? I promise if you say yes I’ll start helping you make the bed in the morning instead of laying on it and making your job harder.” She hugs you, knocking you back onto the blanket you’re sitting on. The movement tips over your cup of lemonade and you damn near lose the ring.

“Of course I will. And you most certainly will not help. But that’s okay, I love you even if you create weird bumps in my sheets and mess up my hard work not five seconds after it’s done.” She kisses your face all over, resembling more like an overexcited puppy than the cats she favors, and you grab her hand to slip the ring on it.

“I love you, Minho. I really do.”

“I can’t believe I get to marry the most beautiful girl in the world,” she says, looking down at her hand.

“You don’t,” you start, kissing her cheekbone. “You don’t get to marry the most beautiful girl in the world. I do.”

(“You know,” she starts as you’re packing up, “I was going to propose to you soon.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Absolutely I am not.” She fishes around the pocket of her dress before pulling out a ring.

“This is so funny. Can I still have it?”

“Of course, it’s yours,” she slips it onto your finger, face heating up to match her ears, “everything I have is yours. Everything and then some.”)

[salem-witch-slut]

This Is What I Know Of Life

Kara Danvers X Masc! FemReader

SYNOPSIS: After saving Kara from a horrible date in a bar, you can't keep the blonde out of your mind no matter how hard you try. You just had to know her.

WORD COUNT: 9.4K

WARNINGS: Canon typical violence, lesbian reader, reader described as muscular with many tattoos, mentions of blood and medical procedures (stitches, needles, etc.), shameless flirting

Author's Note: So this was on my old blog and I just had to bring it back. It's exactly like it was before, so if you missed it, here it is! I will be adding more of my old fics back to this account, but let's start with my favorite!

DIVIDERS MADE BY @cafekitsune

This is what I know of life: Love fiercely, even recklessly; Laugh loudly, even raucously; Risk everything, at least once; Live openly, without abandon; Build trust, be honest;

Kara had no clue what she was thinking when she considered this.

Internet dating? It reminded her painfully of when she first came out as Supergirl. That was the worst date she had ever been on… until tonight. The blonde Kryptonian had chosen a black skirt this time, and an off-shoulder pastel blue blouse to try and accentuate the definition in her collarbones and shoulders, which Alex had suggested she show off more often.

Almost as soon as she met the man at the bar, she was uncomfortable. But it seemed that no matter what she had been able to say, he wasn’t backing down, moving away, or taking no for an answer. The bar was incredibly crowded and if she ended up using her powers on him, she would be seen and that would be a very, very difficult thing to talk her way out of.

Kara couldn’t look at her phone, or text Alex 911 to get the hell out of there. Kara felt stuck, and she was not a fan of this feeling. This guy was the worst, and he was getting far more intoxicated than she was comfortable with.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” Kara asked, watching her date down another shot and watching him sway slightly against the bar counter.

The man chortled, which made her extra-terrestrial skin crawl. “Don’t you worry ‘bout me, baby.”

She wanted to throw up… And then, things got ten times worse.

Kara may have had superhuman abilities, and could fly at the speed of sound… But nothing could have prepared her for the feeling of the man’s grimy hand against her rear. The blonde tensed so hard that she almost lit the countertop on fire with her laser eyes.

Kara was about to snap. Exposure be damned, she was going to break this man’s fingers until he could never even hold a glass again. Her blood was boiling and she turned to look up at him and destroy him, but paused at seeing a hand tapping her “date” on the shoulder.

Kara watched him turn around and before he could even ask “What do you want?” A fist went directly across his face. Kara gaped, her eyes widening in shock as she saw someone knock the drunk flat on his ass. He stumbled from the bar counter and onto the ground as the someone stood over his body, shoulders squaring aggressively and brows pulled down.

What does she do about this?!

“Keep your filthy fucking hands off of her,” You snarled, grabbing at his collar and kneeling down low enough to seethe in his face. For a second, Kara was worried about the guy laying on his back, but then her eyes ended up drifting to the hand curled into his shirt… you were wearing rings on almost every single finger, and you had a tattoo of a moth on top of your hand.

You may have had more tattoos but your arms were hidden behind the button down black shirt that was rolled up to the middle of your forearms… Forearms that were massive and veined, clearly dripping with power. That hit must have hurt like hell.

Kara found herself blushing. Whether it was from embarrassment, or flattery, she didn’t know.

The man on the ground groaned, looking up at you with a dizzy expression and immediately started smirking, blood on his teeth. “Ain’t scared of you, dyke.”

The entirety of the bar let out a gasp as you hit the man again. There was no doubt his nose was broken, and Kara made a face of terror as you stood up, seeing your knuckles bruising and covered in the man’s blood. Most were his, but the first punch had left a cut on your finger from the guy’s teeth.

“Are you—” Kara watched you stand up straight, having to look up to meet your gaze. She pushed her glasses up on her nose and her brows pulled down in distress. “Who are you? Are you out of your mind?”

You reached out for a napkin on the bar and wiped the blood off your knuckles and cleaned the rings on your fingers. You didn’t respond to her initial questions, but instead, asked one of your own. She blushed all over again. “Are you alright, sweetheart?”

Kara gaped, giving a remarkable impression of a fish out of water. “I-I’m fine! I could have handled him; I can take care of myself!” The super went on the defensive immediately. She wasn’t about to let you put her into the persona of a weak, innocent girl that needed protecting. She had lived her entire life with other people taking care of her and she didn’t need random women at the bar taking pity on her and fighting her battles for her.

All you did was smile, which made her stomach twist uncomfortably. You looked so nice when you smiled like that. “I didn’t say you couldn’t.”

Kara watched as the bouncers of the bar were dragging the man out of the building, not even looking at you or acting against your demonstration of violence. “Then why did you just—”

“I’m not a fan of assholes who take advantage of pretty girls in crowded spaces where they can’t say no,” You cleared up immediately. “He wasn’t backing down and you had been uncomfortable since you got your first drink… I wanted to knock his ass out for a while.”

Kara tried to focus on the entirety of your words… not that you just called her pretty. “Were you watching us?”

You smirked, not meeting her eyes before you reached down to your hip and tapped the pistol holstered on your side. Kara suddenly felt uncomfortable. Why did you have a gun? Why were you allowed to carry a weapon in a club? Who were you?

“It’s my job to watch everyone that comes in, sweetheart.”

A shout of your name across the bar had you looking up and you saw the bartender approaching you with a first-aid kit. “Why didn’t you just restrain him and call the cops?”

You smirked, grabbing an alcohol wipe and rubbing it across the cut on your knuckle. “Needed a harder lesson, Rick… Did Tommy call the police?”

“Yeah, pulling up in five minutes. They’ll want a statement from you and her, you know,” Rick pointed at Kara who immediately went pale in the face.

“I’ll handle it. Thanks buddy,” You sighed, sitting down on the bar stool and wiping off your own blood and the blood of the asshole’s that’s currently bleeding all over his cheap blazer. Kara was beginning to understand what your role here was and she sat down on the bar stool next to yours. The slice on your knuckle just kept bleeding and you tore open a gauze patch with your teeth.

“Here,” Kara immediately grabbed your hand, much to your surprise. Almost immediately, her cheeks were tinting pink as she placed the gauze over the cut and began to wrap it up. Your hands were so warm that it was making her shiver. “Are you alright?”

“You don’t need to worry about me, sweetheart,” You smiled, and Kara rolled her eyes.

“My name is Kara, not sweetheart,” She corrected as she released your hand, making you chuckle and lean against the bar’s counter with a smile that she couldn’t not respond to with her own smile. You called the bartender back over and looked at Kara one more time before saying what to get her.

“Get miss Kara here anything she wants to drink, and close out her tab,” You gently reached out and Kara almost flinched away before you slid your uninjured hand through the blonde hair framing her face and pushed it over her bare shoulder. She shivered at your touch. “Anything you want, its on the house. Just don’t get too drunk, alright?”

Before Kara could protest, you stood up from your seat and walked back into the crowd. Kara watched you walk away, biting her lip and then looking back at the bartender who was simply waiting for whatever she wanted. Kara couldn’t keep her thoughts away as her brain teased “Are you sure that the thing you want didn’t just walk away?”

It was 3 AM by the time Kara was leaving the building. Everyone else had gone and she was one of the last patrons to exit. What made her linger for so long when she had no reason to stick around? Well, she was waiting for you…

The police had already come and taken your statement, but they never talked to her. When you said that you’d take care of it, you must have taken care of everything because her “date” had been arrested and you actually waved when they drove off with him in the car.

She wanted to talk to you again, but you were busy and she didn’t want to distract you… Three other people had been escorted out of the building that night by you, but none of them had gotten hit like her date had. You were polite with everyone else, even with them being belligerent… It didn’t make sense to Kara. She needed to know what was happening in that head of yours.

You were taking the walkie off your hip and passing it to the other bouncer as you removed the pistol from your hip and ejected the magazine. Kara watched you check to see if it was still loaded before you clicked on the safety and handed the gun and holster over to your coworker.

When you turned away, you came to a stop at seeing Kara standing there at the door, looking at you with a nervous expression on her face.

“Hey,” You approached her, rubbing the back of your neck and smiling. “Didn’t know you were still here. Are you okay?”

“Oh, I’m fine,” Kara reassured you, a smile growing on her face and showing off her pretty white teeth. “I was just uhm… Do you want to take a walk with me? I live about 8 blocks away, and you can just…”

“Walk you home?” You smiled and held out your hand for her to go forward first. “Lead the way, miss Kara.”

The two of you fell into a comfortable silent walk, enjoying the warm night air of National City. Kara held her jacket in front of her while keeping her steps slow to have them sync with yours. She took a nervous glance over at you and saw that you were smiling, both hands tucked into the pockets of your trousers that just looked so incredible on you.

“Why did you hit him?” The question seemed to catch you off-guard. When you looked up, Kara clarified, adjusting her glasses. “I saw you throw others out… You didn’t hit those guys. Why’d you hit that guy?”

 You took a long moment to consider why exactly you hit him. Kara was getting worried, like you didn’t really know what made you snap and attack a patron in such an unprovoked way. The way your fingers rubbed at the skin on your cheek and how your stride seemed to slow to almost a stop. Kara frowned, waiting patiently for your answer.

“He didn’t deserve to be near you,” You stated coldly. “Saw him four nights in a row with four other girls… Each time, he wouldn’t keep his hands to himself. I guess seeing him do it to you really pissed me off.”

“But you don’t even know me,” Kara said.

You sighed. “I don’t. But pretty girls like you have always been one of my weaknesses. I guess I got a bit protective—I don’t know,” The confession felt like vinegar on your tongue and Kara came to a full stop in her walk as she stared up at your face. “I’m sorry, miss Kara. I was in the wrong. I took matters into my own hands instead of doing the right thing.”

The silence was no longer comfortable around you two. It was tense and Kara felt almost uncomfortable… Not because she was upset with you or scared of you. But because she seemed to almost like how you defended and fought for her at the bar. She had friends that would defend her, and her sister would always be by her side… But no one had displayed this level of protectiveness over her before.

You looked down at her and cautiously stepped forward. When Kara didn’t step back, you decided that she wasn’t going to pull away and you reached down, tracing your fingertips across her forehead and brushing her blonde hair away from her face. Kara blushed, watching as you tucked the blonde locks behind her ear around her glasses.

Kara reached up and held your hand against her face, leaning into your palm and basking in the cool of your soft touch. You stroked your thumb across her cheekbone and smiled, pulling your hand back and leaving the blonde to pout a little at the lack of contact.

“We should get you home, sweetheart. It’s getting late.”

Why did the idea of leaving you make her so sad?

The chaos that flooded the top floor of CatCo was very familiar to Kara. Only this time it had nothing to do with Supergirl, and everything to do with the bar last night. She saw on the dozens of TV screens her date being hauled out of the building covered in his own blood.

“Kara, wasn’t that…” The sound of Winn’s voice didn’t surprise her, but she still stepped to the side trying to avoid his questions. “That was the guy you—”

“The guy I went out with, yes, I’m aware,” Kara sighed, pushing her glasses on her nose and trying to relax her emotions. She chose to listen to the broadcast, but normally she’d tune it out to ignore the words that the news said.

“-Richard Hendrics was apprehended outside of a nightclub just off of 45th Street, guised under a fake name ‘Ivan Neward.’ Authorities have Hendrics in custody after the club’s security guard took down the perpetrator; we have her words from the scene last night.”

Kara felt her face heat up when the screen changed, and your interview pulled up.

“I’ve seen this guy five times this week. He shows up, brings another girl, and gets drunk. We do what we can to protect everybody that walks through those doors, but things are chaos during these nights. We need everybody to be vigilant, and if you see someone being uncomfortable and they look as if they are in danger, you have to speak up. Protect each other.”

Your voice carried throughout all of the office room and Kara felt her heart pound inside of her chest. You cared so much for others, and it was so sweet to see your concern for everybody—for her.

“Was there a woman here tonight that you protected? Where is she now?”

The camera attempted to pan over to the club and try to find Kara inside before you grabbed the camera and yanked it away. “She is not part of this interview. That is all I will say on this, no more questions!”

Chaos erupted as you began walking away. Kara bit her lip, watching you walk away. You looked so good going back inside of the building and away from the scene outside. Winn looked over and saw just how bad Kara was blushing at seeing you on the screens and bit down on her bottom lip… She used to look at James like that. What was she thinking?

“You got that weird little smitten face,” Winn said, nudging Kara with his hip. “Who is she?”

“Who?” Kara looked up. “Oh! Uhm, sh-she’s just a… some girl from the bar. She kind of p-protected me from that guy and uhm… It-it’s a long story.”

Kara just brushed it off, trying to ignore the feeling of shivers going over her spine as the interview freeze framed on you looking like you were about to knock the reporter’s lights out. Evidence of blood on your fist was a dead giveaway that you were the one that beat up Hendrics.

“Was she the one that—”

“Kicked his butt? Yeah.”

Kara immediately turned away from the screens and sat down at her desk for a grand total of five seconds before she heard Cat calling her name… or, not exactly her name.

“KYRA!” The Kryptonian huffed before she stood from her chair and aggressively walked into Cat’s office.

“Ms. Grant?”

“You see this woman?” Cat stood in front of the TV screens. Your image was plastered on every single one of them. Kara felt her stomach twist. “She is… inspiring. She is an everyday hero and inspired thousands of women to speak up and defend each other. The internet is exploding with confessions of dates that have gone wrong, and countless sex offenders have been arrested in all but twelve hours.”

Kara was speechless, but in Cat’s presence, that happens very often. The woman was a legend, and she was calling you inspiring. “I want that woman.”

“You—you want her?”

Cat turned around slowly, staring at Kara like she was an idiot. “I need an exclusive with that woman. She’s the height of the media; the face on every news station. As violent as she may be, she is someone that deserves to be heard.”

“Oh, you want to interview her—” Kara took a deeper breath, like she couldn’t believe that the idea of Cat Grant wanting you carnally even crossed her mind.

“Kyra, I could not have been clearer. My days of experimentation are over after drinking all night with Madonna,” Kara blinked a few times, trying to comprehend what she just kind of haphazardly admitted. Cat Grant had experimented with women—no, she experimented with Madonna! What the actual—

“Get me that woman. I want an interview today! Go, now!”

Kara nearly stumbled out of the room to escape from Cat’s hungry gaze. It made her uncomfortable for a whole new reason; one she didn’t truthfully like. There was one thing she had on her focus now, and she wasn’t sure that she was up to the task.

Winn ran up next to Kara’s desk as she went into her phone and scrolled through the contacts inside of it like her life depended on it. “What did she say? What are you doing?”

“Cat wants an interview,” Kara clicked on one of her contacts and stood up, slowly stepping in a circle and waiting.

“Interview with…”

“Hi! Hello, hi, I don’t know if you remember me. We met last night at the club? Kara Danvers?”

A soft chuckle sounded on the other end and Kara shivered at your voice. “How could I forget? What can I do for you, miss Kara?”

Two hours went by. Two full hours of Kara sitting at her desk like one wrong move would make the building explode. Every few seconds she would look at the door and wait for you to come out of the elevator, but she couldn’t hear or see you… You were unlike Cat when she was in her elevator. She always talked to herself. You were silent.

But there was one thing she did hear… a very, very fast heartbeat. It was definitely yours. She recognized it from the night before. Oh, you were nervous?

The elevator doors dinged, and you stepped off and rounded the corner. When she saw you, her heart almost exploded, and the sound of crunching could be heard across the room. Kara looked down and saw her computer mouse in pieces.

You were wearing a custom-made suit in Kara’s favorite color. The navy blue accentuated your skin tone flawlessly and you had your hair styled in a way that could make the straightest girls falter in their steps. Silver rings decorated your fingers, and a silver chain was wrapped around your neck in a light choker. You looked… holy Rao, you looked incredible.

“Hey, uhm…” You stopped at one of the desks nearby and looked down. “I’m looking for Kara Danvers?”

The blonde stood from her desk and walked a little too fast over to you, almost tripping to get to you along the way. “Hi! I’m so glad you could make it,” Kara looked you up and down, from your coat down to your dress shoes. “Wow, you look amazing!”

You blushed, a hand running through your hair. “Well, if you think I look good, you look amazing. Lavender is definitely your color, really brings out the blue in your eyes.”

Her entire face went red, and she had to look away for a second just to calm her heart down. For a second, she thought she was going to fly away and had to force her feet to stay on the ground. Why is it when you said things like that, it made her stomach twist?

“Kyra,” The Kryptonian heard Cat’s voice and turned around hard enough to whip you in the face with her ponytail. You made a face of disgust and peeled a piece of blonde hair from your glossed lips. “Do not crowd our star… Cat Grant, it is so nice to meet you.”

The smile that radiated from your face was enough to make Cat blush. “Oh, it’s an honor to meet you, Ms. Grant. I love the work you’ve done with Supergirl! Every time I read one of your stories, I’m starstruck with her all over again.”

Kara gaped for a split second. You liked Supergirl? Wait, your heart rate was rising again and she could hear all of the blood rushing to your face and down… You had a crush on Supergirl!?

“Understandably, all men and women adore her both as a hero and as an attractive woman,” Cat shrugged like it was obvious, stepping towards her office and beckoning for you to follow. You did, without hesitation, waving at Kara and stepping into the office where the interview of a lifetime would be taking place. Not for you, but for Kara specifically.

Almost immediately she sat down and began to listen to you with her super hearing.

“What happened last night? Well… there was a girl. She was being harassed at the bar by her date and I guess I had enough of seeing him take advantage of women to last me a lifetime. I reacted on instinct and protected the girl.”

“Cameras saw blood on your hands,” Cat said, looking down at the recorder on her desk. “Did you hit him?”

You hesitated for a second. Kara almost expected you to deny it.

“I did,” You said. “It was more instinct than thought, Ms. Grant. Fear of that girl being hurt set in, and I went on the offensive. I’ve seen the men who have my job do much worse, and they carry guns just like me.”

“But we are women,” Cat stated. “We are expected to keep calm in the face of terror and hold it together no matter how scary the world is. Speak up, but don’t be a bitch. Defend yourself, but don’t be aggressive. Protect each other, but don’t travel in groups.”

“I’ve never really been like other women,” You said without letting her fully finish. “I’m sure you can see that, Ms. Grant?”

Kara heard Cat hum, and she knew she was looking at you all over like she wanted to eat you alive. “Yes, your aesthetic is very butch, it’s not that hard to see how very non-heterosexual you are.”

A very odd silence carried within the walls of the office before you cleared your throat. “You have something you want to ask me, Ms. Grant.”

“Who was the girl you protected?”

Kara tensed up, and she felt for a second that you might actually tell her that she was there, and she wouldn’t be able to stop you even if she wanted to. But just like last night, you surprised her. “I don’t know her name, Ms. Grant. If you only wanted me to come in here to find out who I was fighting for, I’m going to have to disappoint you.”

Kara let out a breath of relief, dropping her shoulders and relaxing in her seat. She finally stopped listening to the conversation going on in the other room and about seven minutes later, you stepped outside of the interview and removed your phone from your pocket.

“How did it go?” Kara pounced on you. “Did you mention me? Did you say anything about what happened?”

Before Kara knew what was happening, you grabbed her by the arm gently and led her out onto the terrace to avoid prying eyes and unworthy ears. The Kryptonian looked so confused and somewhat shocked by your actions. “Was it that bad?”

“No, it was fine,” You defended. “I kept my promise and didn’t involve you in it.”

“Yeah, uhm… why are you doing that exactly?” Kara adjusted her glasses for almost the thirteenth time that day. You noticed she fussed with them when she was nervous or overwhelmed in some way. “I mean, I have no reason to hide or anything. I can take the heat from the interviews and things, and I mean, it was me that he tried to—”

“I know you can handle yourself, miss Kara. That isn’t what I’m afraid of,” You leaned back on the bar of the balcony and Kara watched the veins in your hands flex. “I’m afraid of the media treating you like some victim, which you wish to not be. The second I tell everybody that it was you he was after, you become the front of sympathy tabloids. I guess… I am trying to protect you, but in a different way.”

Kara took a few moments to truly process what you said and looked deep into your eyes. So deep that she almost x-rayed you. Her fingers flexed against the bar she was holding, and a soft, tense breath escaped her chest.

“Well, I can… take care of myself?” Kara stumbled on her words, and you simply chuckled. Before she could stop you, once again, you were reaching out.

“I see that,” You slowly ran your fingers under a stray lock of blonde hair and slowly tucked it behind her ear, your strong hands lingering against her skin and gently stroking your fingertips across her cheekbone and down to her jaw. Kara felt as if you stole her breath away. “And you… have the prettiest smile I have ever seen.”

“I…” Kara was beginning to shake, almost like she was vibrating in place. You smelled so nice, and you felt so cool against her warm Kryptonian skin. And in five seconds flat, Kara was gone out of your sight with a simple “I have to go!”

All you could do was frown at her running away, looking down at your hand and wishing her warmth was back against your calloused skin. You sighed and leaned back against the rail, rubbing at your face and attempting not to smear your eyeliner. “Sweet moments never last, I guess…”

You headed back inside and noticed that Kara was nowhere to be found. With a deep, disappointed sigh, you began walking towards the elevator with your hands tucked into your trouser pockets. Wherever the blonde went, she was doing a damn good job at avoiding you.

You texted her, making sure that you didn’t overstep in any way.

“I’m so sorry if I made you uncomfortable, sweetheart. It was never my intention. I hope you have a good rest of your day.”

Kara was staring at her phone screen for almost a full day. Every spare second that she had, she looked at the text you sent her, and her stomach began flipping all over again. She was so engrossed with how she would respond that even Alex was noticing. Her sister saw that she was simply staring at the screen, not typing or responding… she didn’t recognize your name.

“You plan on responding?” Alex teased, pausing the movie in front of them. Kara flinched, almost dropping her phone and looking over at her sister like she was just caught watching an R-Rated love scene. “Who is that?”

“N-No one! She’s nobody— n-not anybody,” Kara attempted to tuck away her cellphone, but Alex was faster, grabbing the device and reading what was on screen. “Wait, Alex, come on!”

“ ‘I’m so sorry if I made you uncomfortable, sweetheart.’? Who is calling you that?” Alex teased, looking at her sister and smirking as the blonde sighed and dropped her face into Alex’s leg.

“She’s just… the security guard from the bar the other night,” Kara admitted, her face burning the deepest shade of pink. For a second, Kara remembered how good you smelled and how chilled your skin was against her face, and it sent a very vicious shiver down her spine.

Alex noticed. “How’d you get the security guard’s phone number?”

“It’s a long story—”

“Well then start from the beginning?”

And so, Kara did. Kara told Alex everything that happened, not sparing a single detail and not leaving anything up in the air for guessing. She needed Alex to know every single detail and every single emotion that was passing through her in that moment.

“I don’t understand Alex,” Kara sighed, looking down at her hands. “It’s like I can’t think when I’m near her… Like my heart is about to leap from my chest and my hands feel like they’re vibrating! It was like that first time I was Supergirl… when I first saved the plane? That… adrenaline, that feeling of—”

“You like her.”

Kara had to stop her words, staring at her sister like she had just told her the biggest secret in the world. Her entire body started vibrating and Alex put her hands on Kara’s shoulders so the Kryptonian didn’t accidentally fly away. “I like her? What are you—”

“You acted just like this with every single crush you’ve had before, Kara,” Alex reassured. “And it’s okay… You are allowed to like this girl. She sounds great; I’d love to meet her someday.”

The blonde was silent for a good long while before she looked down at her phone and nearly threw it out of the window when she saw that you were calling her. The phone slammed on the coffee table and Kara jumped up, hiding from the device like it was a bomb about to explode.

“OhmyRao! Oh no, she’s calling— Alex, what do I do!?”

Alex rolled her eyes before she answered the phone, much to Kara’s horror. “Hello?”

You were so tense that the sound of another voice didn’t register. No, all you wanted was to talk to Kara and explain yourself so you couldn’t drive her away or scare her off.

“Kara! Hi,” You didn’t expect her to answer. “I uhm… Sorry for calling you so late and unexpected, I just… I don’t know, I need to explain myself? I’m sorry about today, and I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable this afternoon. I don’t know what came over me.”

Alex smirked as she held her foot out, pressing it into Kara’s chest. Kara could stop her if she wanted to, but a part of her wanted to hear you out on this. Without interrupting you.

When Kara didn’t respond, you feared that she may have hung up on you. But against your better judgment, you started talking again. “I feel like I got the wrong impression from you. So, this may sound absolutely insane but… If you are willing, I would like to have dinner with you? Tomorrow night?”

The silence was almost deafening. Kara looked at Alex and the blonde seemed like she was about to throw up or pass out, maybe even both. Alex grinned from ear to ear and decided to respond for her, much to Kara’s complete and utter torture. “Tomorrow night sounds amazing.”

Kara could hear you sigh a breath of relief, almost like you had been holding it waiting for her answer. “Oh great! Great, uh… I will text you all of the details then? 7:30?”

“7:30, I will be there,” Alex chuckled and looked at Kara who looked like she was about to start screaming. “Goodnight… Sweetheart.”

When Alex hung up, Kara immediately dropped down behind the couch and curled into the fetal position like she wanted to do nothing but vanish into the floor and scream until her breath ran out. The DEO agent started cackling and tossed the phone over to Kara, laughing even harder when the device smacked her in the head.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!”

You had spent the entire day pacing in your loft, looking at all of the clothes inside your closet and trying so hard to decide on something to wear like your life was on the line. All you wanted to do was impress this girl and show her the best time of her entire life. Kara was unlike anyone you’ve known… and you wanted to know even more.

Deciding to keep things semi-formal, you chose a black long-sleeved turtleneck with a delicate silver chain and gray trench coat. The black boots completed the look, and you tried very hard to not overthink things as you stepped out of your apartment, only to stop and gently pet your orange tabby cat on the head. “Stay put, Tigger. Love you.”

You triple-checked the address on your phone, standing outside of the restaurant that you and Kara picked out together. Asian was your idea and Kara leaped at the opportunity. You tried not to fumble with the box inside your jacket pocket, biting down on your lip and doing your best to calm your beating heart.

It had been years since your last date… work had always got in the way, and you tended to scare off a lot of “candidates”. Your hands were shaking, and you wanted to kick at the wall but then you’d look semi-psychotic.

Of course, your train of thought was completely derailed when you looked up in time to see the most beautiful thing you’ve seen in your entire life…

Kara Danvers, wearing a lavender dress with a white cardigan overtop, the skirt reaching just above her knees, matched with white heels. Her hair was held back with a ribbon braided into her blonde locks, complete with those turtle shell glasses that you thought were so cute on her that it made your heart flutter.

How did you get this lucky to be out with her?

“Hi!” You chirped, stomach tightening as you looked at the most gorgeous female that’s been in your vision. “Uh… wow, you look beautiful, Kara.”

“Thank you,” Kara blushed, looking down at her heels for a brief moment and biting her lip. “And you look… I don’t even have the words for it!”

Now it was your turn to blush, heart fluttering as you gently twist your fingers together. Kara noticed the bandages on your knuckle, but it seemed underplayed by all of the rings on your fingers. This was the first time in a long time that Kara had been on a date, and she actually had hopes for this one. All of the other ones? They were a huge letdown.

Kara was now keeping score in her head. What she didn’t expect was for you to open the door for her. Wow… one point for you!

“Ladies first,” You held out your hand for her and she could tell that you were more charming and polite than any man she has been out with in her entire life.

The hostess led you both to the table in the very quiet restaurant that had live music playing softly nearby. The dining area was dimly lit, and the only light was from a very soft glow of the light above the table. Kara was about to approach her seat when you jumped forward and pulled the chair out for her, smiling and gently pushing it in once she was sat down.

“Well, you certainly know how to make a girl feel special,” Kara chuckled, sitting down and removing the cloth napkin from the plate and laying it over her lap.

You stripped off your jacket and draped it over the back of your chair, sitting down across from her and folding your hands overtop the table in front of her. “I find it hard to believe that you are treated any less when you go on dates.”

Kara chuckled, shrugging her shoulders. “Yeah… the dates I’ve been on? Not exactly anything to write home about.”

You make a face of complete horror, doing a remarkable impression of a fish out of water. Kara simply took a sip of water to try and break the tension, but you weren’t breaking eye contact. Maybe you wanted her to explain?

“Okay, most of the guys I’ve been with? They are too focused on their phones… and they ditch me after twenty minutes at most,” Kara sighed, adjusting her glasses. “Maybe I’m just not that interesting?”

You sat back a little, rubbing a hand across your jaw and sighing deep in your chest.

“Kara Danvers,” You reached out for her hand, and she blushed at how cold it was. “You have not been treated like the lady you have deserved… it will be an honor to show you a time that you won’t ever forget.”

A single moment passed as Kara smiled and leaned forward, almost challenging you. “I’m keeping score.”

Challenge accepted.

The night was absolutely perfect. Kara had literally never felt more heard in her entire life. At one point during the evening, Kara heard your phone chirp, and you removed it from your pocket. Kara was about to deduct a point for that, but you immediately turned it off and put it face down on the table, apologizing for the interruption.

Surprise was all over her face as you simply cut off all communications with everybody just to listen to her silly story about something that happened at CatCo. And you were hanging on literally every single word she uttered and every syllable that tumbled from her lips.

You had ordered a beautiful bottle of wine to go with the food she ordered, which consisted of pork potstickers, crab fried rice, and a beautiful plate of scorpion roll sushi. You didn’t even bat an eye as you listened to every single word she said and when she would ask you questions, you were happy to answer with honesty.

“-After the army, I was just feeling a bit lost,” You admitted, pausing to take a sip of the wine and leaning back in your chair. Kara leaned forward, almost like she wasn’t close enough to hear you. But in reality, it was so quiet that it was easy to feel like you two were the only ones in the entire universe. “I bounced around from place to place, looking for a job where I felt like I was making a difference. And don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with working retail… but the night life called to me? The club reached out to me, and it was easy for me to be security.”

“Ex-military,” Kara smiled. “No wonder you’re so strong…”

“Well, I do work out every day,” You shrugged like it was no big deal, but in reality, you were flexing and trying to impress her. Kara giggled at seeing you put your hands behind your head and leaned back in her chair herself, allowing a moment for her dinner to settle.

The moment was comfortable as the music played inside of your own little world you two created together. “This is actually really nice…”

You smiled. “I promised a night to remember,” You glanced up at the musicians and then at Kara. “Would you like to dance with me?”

“Here?” Kara giggled, eyes wrinkling with humor as you stood up from your seat and held out your hand. “In the middle of the restaurant?”

All you did was keep your hand out for her and Kara thought about it for a few seconds before deciding screw it and placed her hand into yours. The cold of your rings bit into her warm skin as you lifted her from the seat and placed a gentle hand on her waist. When Kara’s hand met your shoulder, you two began swaying gently back and forth to the soft music inside of the restaurant… It really felt like it was just the two of you in the entire universe.

Kara felt so warm against you… So gentle and so sweet, almost like she was an angel in your presence. You couldn’t help it. Very slowly, you leaned your head down and rested your cheek against the top of her blonde hair, breathing her in like this was going to be the last time you ever got to feel her against you.

Kara bit down on her lip and pressed her face into your chest, feeling the soft swell of your breasts against her face and realizing that she didn’t hate the feeling… In fact, you felt comfortable and cool and all of the things that she loved in the world. But the best part? From here, she couldn’t just hear your heartbeat… she could feel it.

“Your heart is racing,” She whispered against you. Almost comically, your hands began trembling as you slid one through her soft blonde hair and twisted it in between your fingers.

Kara could feel it. You were terrified. “I… Don’t want to mess this up,” You pulled back slowly and looked down to gaze into those beautiful blue eyes. “How’s my score?”

The Kryptonian smiled, her eyes twinkling. “One final test for you?”

“Name it,” You begged.

Kara smiled, hypnotizing you with those pretty glossed lips of hers. “I would rather show you.”

The blonde slid one hand up to the back of your neck and then you felt those warm fingers through your hair. Oh, she was so beautiful, and she felt so perfect in your arms, and you wanted nothing more than to kiss her… but you weren’t going to move until she did. Kara needed to do this first.

She inched closer and closer, and you could feel her breath against your face. It was almost chilled… You waited patiently, hoping she would continue—

The entire restaurant trembled around you both and on instinct, you grabbed at Kara’s waist, preventing her from falling over. The pounding in your chest went haywire as you looked out of the window and saw the street was literally on fire! “What the hell—”

Patrons in the restaurant went crazy and began to run for the exits. But in doing so, you couldn’t have held onto her even if you tried. “Kara? Kara!” You called out her name, fear rising at the idea of losing her within the crowd of terror as patrons shoved you outside and into the streets that were blazing alive.

Standing on the street now, you could only look on in abstract horror as a blue-skinned, horned face alien was breathing literal fire and setting the streets ablaze. You took the smallest step backward and realized that was your mistake. The alien sent a very powerful blast in your direction, and you went from your feet to the air.

The blast lifted you from the ground and your entire body slammed into the windshield of a truck, glass shattering all around you and slicing your sweater and into your skin. You would no doubt need stitches now.

The impact didn’t knock you out, but it made you slightly dizzy as you crawled off the remains of the truck and stumbled against the concrete, bracing yourself against the hood and rubbing at your forehead. “Fuck…” You only had one thing on your mind… “Kara, where are you?”

Another blast was about to hit, and you had no time to brace for impact. The alien seemed to hate you for some reason because he kept targeting where you were standing. You slowly stepped back and your body pressed into the steel of the truck, waiting for the next hit. You crouched down and attempted to shield yourself… but it never arrived.

You looked up and let out a surprised gasp at seeing the red cape in front of you, and beautiful blonde hair that flowed down in waves down her back. It was unmistakable who it was. “S-Supergirl!”

The hero turned to look at you, smiling a little but the grin dropped as soon as she saw the blood seeping into your clothing. “You’re hurt—”

“I’m okay,” You said, trying not to look weak in front of the Kryptonian. Your heart pounded in your chest as you began to look around even more frantically, desperate to find your date in the sea of terrified residents of National City. “Where is she? God, please—”

“Kara Danvers sent me,” Supergirl placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. Your eyes widened in surprise at her statement. Kara sent her? “She’s in a safe place… I hear you are ex-military. Can you help me clear these streets?”

Supergirl was asking for your help? Suddenly the wounds in your skin seemed so minor as you stood up and paid attention to the superhero that began to rise from the ground and look as regal as inhumanly possible. She really was incredible… “You can count on me, Supergirl.”

“Ms. Danvers speaks highly of you,” Supergirl said and bolted away.

You immediately jumped into action and began to direct people away from the threat of the alien terrorizing the city. You helped them down into the subway stations to avoid the dangers of the fire and the battle between whatever that creature was and Supergirl herself. But the more you moved and the faster your heart raced, the more your wounds began catching up with you.

Blood was dripping from your sweater and onto the stone steps of the subway. Sweat dripped from your forehead and you nearly stumbled down the stairs and onto the concrete below you.

“Hey, hey,” The new voice resonated in front of you and all you could do was look up and see a woman with short brown hair and a soft look, almost like she knew you. She was dressed in all black and had a gun on her hip. “Eyes on me? Are you okay?”

When you didn’t respond, could only blink slowly, the woman was getting concerned with your state of health. You very faintly heard her say “Can you hear me?” but then you could only reach for the railing before falling to the concrete stairs.

The horrible sensation of needles pressing into your skin woke you up from the deep unconscious state you were in. It reminded you of the tattoo on your upper back and you just couldn’t stop yourself from hissing in pain and flinching at the stab.

“Ow,” You twitched, opening your eyes and immediately wanting to close them with how bright the lights were. But something was off… This did not smell like some hospital? Isn’t that usually where someone ends up when they hit the windshield of a truck?

“Try not to move,” A voice said from above you. It was the woman from the alley… for some reason, now her voice was recognizable but not when she was impersonating Kara on the phone. The pain of the needle resonated in your back again and you grabbed the table with both hands to force your body to sit completely still.

“Where am I? What is this?”

“Can’t tell you that,” She said. “Just know that it’s somewhere safe. What do you remember?”

“Uh… I remember an ugly-ass alien setting the streets on fire? And then I hit a truck and I was looking for—” The needle in her hands went directly into your shoulder as you jumped upward and almost fell off the table. A tube was in your arm, and you saw a slow stream of blood flooding into your veins. “Kara! Fuck, where’s Kara? Where is she?”

“Hey, hey!” The woman from the subway jumped up and held out her hands that were gloved but covered in your blood. You were frantic, looking around the room like a terrified bird in a cage too small for it to be considered humane. “Hey, you need to calm down. You lost a lot of blood and—”

“I’m not—” You ripped the tube from your arm and the blood splattered to the floor as you began to run at the glass, not fully realizing you were in just your black skin-tight boxers, sports bra, and dog tags hanging from a chain around your neck. Everything else had been torn and drenched in your blood. “No, I… I gotta get out of here, I need to find Kara! Kara Danvers! We… we went out together tonight! I have to go- I need to know that she’s okay!”

“Okay, okay! Calm down, please, relax…” The woman grabbed your forearms and you breathed hard enough to start hyperventilating. Very slowly, she led you back over to the bench and removed the needle from your shoulder. “Look… my name is Alex Danvers. Kara is my sister, okay? And I can promise you that she is fine.”

Your brain skipped like a needle on a record, blanking out for a few painful seconds and trying to make sense of it all. What are the odds that Kara’s sister is the one stitching you up right now in some secret medlab? “A-Alex, like the… special agent Alex that she talked about?”

The woman smirked a little. “Yeah… and you’re the ex-military nightclub guard that she can’t shut up about?”

You simply rolled your eyes and tried to stay upright. Blood loss was definitely getting to you again and you placed both hands on the gurney underneath you. “C-Can’t shut up about me? It’s only been a day.”

Alex was quiet after that as she continued your stitches, meticulously closing you up and removing a piece of glass from your skin in the process. You were so engrossed in the procedure that the soft swishing of the door was almost missed. “How is she?”

You looked up and your cheeks turned a deep pink. It was Supergirl… and she was standing there like the typical hero she was, hands crossed over her chest and looking at you with the most intense blue eyes you’ve ever seen… well, the second most intense blue eyes you’ve seen. Thoughts of Kara surfaced, and you felt nervous all over again.

“All things considered, she’s doing okay,” Alex said, placing a gauze patch over your final stitches and removing her gloves. You sighed and leaned back to sit up straight, rolling your shoulders and attempting to relax. “Just try to calm down and relax, you’ve been through a lot today.”

You nodded and attempted to not look embarrassed at being almost half naked in front of National City’s hero, heart thumping at high speed and your fingers twitching like absolute crazy. “Agent Danvers… I know that this will sound dumb, but can I talk with Supergirl? Alone?”

“That’s not a possib—”

“It’s okay, Alex,” Supergirl held out a hand, attempting to calm the agent. You blushed and began to chew on your thumbnail waiting for Alex to leave the room and stand on the other side of the door. When it slid closed behind her, but she stayed within sight of the glass room, you met Supergirl’s eyes who moved both fists to her hips in the classic hero pose. “What’s wrong?”

“You know, it's funny- I keep playing the… the way we met in my head?” You stood up from the bench and rubbed the back of your neck to try and relax your sore muscles. “And there’s just one thing that doesn’t really make sense.”

“You were in danger, I saved you,” Supergirl stated in a nonchalant way. But she looked slightly twitchy.

“Not that,” You approached Supergirl, noticing that you were slightly over her in height… Just like her. “You said Kara mentioned I was ex-military… I didn’t see her texting during dinner, and she didn’t have any time to tell you about that before the attack.”

“What are you—” You gave the Kryptonian a look and tilted your head.

“You look just like her… Even without the glasses, your eyes are the same. And you…” You reached out and the hero didn’t know better, and you were able to touch her skin before she stepped away. “Are just as warm as she is.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I know that it’s you, Kara,” You stated, much to the woman’s shock. “You vanish and then Supergirl shows up? Supergirl tells me something that only you found out ten minutes before? Your sister shows up at the most convenient time to save my ass from bleeding out on the stairs?” You stepped forward, and the super stepped back, spine hitting the wall behind her. “You can’t fool me…”

“You are… just delusional from the blood loss. I’m not Kara Danvers, I don’t—”

Your hand reached out and pressed against Supergirl’s cheek, stopping her words in their tracks as you breathed slowly and stepped infinitely closer. She was so warm and so beautiful, and you knew it was her, but she was so in denial. You knew it was to keep herself safe, but you just couldn’t help yourself.

“If you aren’t my sweet Kara,” You sighed, watching Supergirl’s bottom lip tremble. “Then that means I can’t kiss you…”

Supergirl breathed. “Th-That’s right…”

“But if you are,” You leaned closer, heart racing in your chest. “I still have one point to gain for the best date ever.”

A moment of silence passed between both of you, and Supergirl breathed hard against your face. You felt her cold air again, and now knew it was from her ice-breath. “Final test…”

In seconds, you dipped down and captured her lips in the most intense kiss of your entire life. Supergirl—Kara wrapped both arms around your neck and held you close, her strength now showing from her Kryptonian powers as you placed both hands on her waist and pulled her as close as humanly possible.

The moment was so intense and full of heat between you two that the noise you made when Kara jumped up, wrapping both legs around your hips made you stumble backward and hit the steel wall behind you. A hiss of pain left your lips as you felt your torn skin strain on the stitches. “Fuck, fuck, shit, wait…”

Kara jumped off of you, gasping and realizing that her strength was too much for you. She stepped backward and you turned around, glancing at your back and trying to see if you had accidentally burst any of the stitches. “Okay… okay, I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

The hero looked at you and you could see tears brimming in her eyes as she reached forward and gently placed both hands against your cheeks. “I’m so sorry… I’m so, so sorry I left you! I wasn’t fast enough, and you got hurt and you—”

“Hey, hey, hey no, none of that!” You said, grabbing Kara’s hands and gently rubbing your thumbs across the veins in her hands. Kara whimpered, tears tracking her face. “No, you saved me Kara… You did everything you could and from where I’m standing, you saved everybody, not just me… I would’ve been dead had you not shown up.”

Kara giggled, sniffling through tears. “Heh… guess I owed you from the other night, huh?”

“Yeah… Guess you did,” You brushed her blonde hair away from her face and kissed the space between her eyes, right over the small crease in her brow line. “People are gonna get hurt, Kara… I’m not immortal. I know how dangerous this world is. But I’m strong. I went through war and still came back. I can take a few stitches. Don’t you worry about me.”

“I will always worry about you—”

“And I’ll respect that. But only if I can worry about you… I must protect what is mine.”

“Y-Yours?” Kara blushed from the tips of her ears down to her neck. “Wh-What are you?”

“Be mine, Kara Danvers… Supergirl, I’m asking you to be my girlfriend.”

Your answer was another desperate, fiery kiss. And for a moment, both of you felt like you were flying… But when the kiss broke, you saw that Kara had accidentally lifted you both off the ground. 

[ysabelmystic]

“I just came from r/196” ask game

Saw another post. I think I should invite y'all to one of our longstanding traditions. Answer the questions then tag 10 (or more) people. I'll go first.

Name? Frankie

Pronouns and gender? he/they/it, transmasc

Sexuality? Lesbian

Country? USA

Top 5 fandoms? Bungou Stray Dogs, Cosmere, All for the Game, Fundiesnark (not a series but I'm too deep in it to not consider it a fandom), .....the tornado fandom? (they're my special interest)

What is your Most forbidden snack? The preserved bones at the Atlanta Bodies Exhibition. They looked so crunchy...

Would you pet a bug? If it's big enough, it is pettable.

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. I like to drive around rural areas and photograph old, sometimes abandoned locations in the dead of night. I have been literally chased out of towns by foot and by car on two separate occasions. The second time this happened, "See You Again" by Miley Cyrus came up on shuffle and that's the soundtrack my friend and I tore out of town to. Also every "guy" I've dated except for my most recent ex (who has big egg energy) is a lesbian now.

What does the color blue taste like? Creme brulee

What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? The appalachian mountains of Tennessee in the middle of summer. There's kudzu everywhere. On the backroads, there were several old, dilapidated Baptist churches barely hanging to the side of the mountain. I wonder how many of them were still in use.

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? Short version: my friend's house almost got broken into by this dude who'd been stalking us for months while we were home alone. Instead of calling the cops, we decided to confront him with a bow and arrow (me), a hatchet, and a baseball bat (him). The plan was that if it went badly, we would simply throw his corpse into one of the many lakes in the neighborhood and let the alligators eat his remains (this was Florida). Why? Because we were afraid of having our home-alone privileges revoked. Luckily for us all, the guy fucked off and we never saw him again.

Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? My ex thought that Jackalopes were real. Also, a nurse I was doing rotations with apparently thought that "Witness Protection" was for Jehovah's Witnesses.

Hyperfixation song? Young Enough + Bleach by Charly Bliss

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? Profile pic; I'm transmasc and I'm currently obsessed with TriStamp. Username; It was my fake internet name when I was like 13. I won't change it because I want my mutuals to recognize me, and because I do have a viral post associated with this name.

Dream career as a child? Doctor (funnily enough I'm now in nursing school)

Dream career as an adult? Professional Jester. Not a comedian. I just want to be some weird little guy who dresses silly and you can hire me to roast your boss at work parties.

Thoughts on cilantro? Delicious

Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? I honestly can't remember? Probably... but in recent memory I've mainly banned people from places.

What is your cursed food combination? Pineapple on a hotdog with grilled onions. It Slaps.

Trans rights? TRANS RIGHTS

Tagging: @rocket-mankoi @mostlymarco @atleast8courics @jazzlike39 @gemsweater72 @limbobilbo @ameliaaltare @redcrane112 @theoneofwhomisblue @twinkenjoyer @theultimatecarp and anyone else who wants to jump on

[chaifootsteps]

Hey I saw someone on Twitter saying you’re transphobic because it said in your Twitter bio “IDW Arcee is still a guy” even though the character is canonically trans. What’s your take on that? I’m not attacking you or anything I just genuinely want to know the context of all that.

Oh boy. Strap yourselves in kids; time for Chai's villain origin story.

So basically, IDW Arcee made his debut under the pen of Simon Furman, the dude who created Arcee in the first place. Simon Furman has a small massive chip on his shoulder over the notion of girl robots, but we're going to be talking in mostly Watsonian terms for now. IDW Arcee as he comes on the scene in Spotlight Arcee is the victim of a nonconsensual forced sex reassignment, we see right off the bat that this destroyed his life.

He's wracked with trauma and dysphoria over this, on a do-or-die quest to take out the mad scientist who did it (he succeeds and tortures said scientist for seven years straight), and is implied to suffer chronic pain.

This got a lot of criticism, but Simon Furman insisted it wasn't meant to be transphobic, just the opposite. When someone pointed out that this was a story about how traumatic it was to be assigned a gender you didn't feel was the one you should have, Furman agreed with this take.

Eventually Furman was shooed out and John Barber was brought in as writer, and nobody seemed to know how to deal with Arcee's backstory. So they just kind of...didn't. They wrote around it for eight whole years, never really acknowledging it, but frequently alluding to how traumatized he was from it. The only person to ever roll up their sleeves and tackle it head on was Mairghread Scott, the only person IMO to ever do justice to IDW Arcee.

By the way, this panel made me weep. This issue also includes a fleeting, but notable moment where someone refers to Arcee with they/them pronouns, and at the time, I was extremely excited for this.

Shortly after this however, the comic came to an end and John Barber decided -- in the very last issue -- to bring in an expert. And by this, I mean he found some trans lady on Twitter and let her write Arcee. The last issue has Arcee concluding that the whole sex change was consensual and the violent murder spree was the result of, I quote, "bad meds."

Yeah, basically Arcee killed all those people because the Spiro was a little off.

I got into a lot of internet fights with people over this back in the day, criticizing it for being worse than what we started with, but also frequently pointing out that it wasn't Twitter lady's fault, as she wasn't the editor-in-chief at IDW and that there's a very good reason professional writers aren't supposed to do this sort of thing. In return, I got accused of hating trans women and still get some real ugly things in the inbox about it to this day. It was the first taste, bitter as wormwood, of what I as a trans man could expect from my own community.

Regardless of all that, Arcee is probably the most important fictional character to ever enter my life. He helped me realize I was trans, got me through some dark days, got me through heartbreak and top surgery. He saved my life a few times, and every so often he continues to. I owe so much to him.

If writing a very gentle fix-it fic where Arcee has a long talk with Anode (one of the trans lesbian bots from the vastly superior sister series James Roberts wrote) makes me a transphobe in these peoples' eyes, so be it. I don't care what they think. They never reached out to baby trans Chai and held his hand and kept him breathing.

Arcee did.

[katieaki]

My ✨ post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure✨ has just updated! Read it here for free on my Patreon and vote in the poll! Here is a guide to get you started, the summaries of each part of the story thus far, the complete collected text, and FAQ, all in one place. They have everything you need to know about Lou, her requited-but-complicated love, the religious assassin who just beat the tar out of her, the worst person she's ever met, and the ill-advised journey she is on! There is also a discord where Pony Express readers from all across god's green internet can gather, here!

(touching earpiece) I'm getting word that there may, in the near future, be only one bed.

✨Read the update for free on my patreon & vote on what happens next! ✨Excerpt below the cut.

“I thought you were a kid at first, when I first saw you,” the kid said, appearing at Lou’s elbow. She had gotten dressed without drying off enough and there was a little body-shaped damp mark bleeding through her baggy overalls. She was cute, with big front teeth and a chin-length bob. Lou was never stable enough to even consider having any herself, even in a mythical ‘some day’, but she liked kids. She always had. As soon as she stopped being a hand herself, she had used all the power she had to make sure the hands that worked under her still had time to be kids. You had to give them time and space to fuck around and have fun.

“Me?” Lou asked.

“Because you’re so small,” the kid said. 

“Sorry pard, just a small adult,” Lou said. “Hate to disappoint.”

She brought her hand up to measure Lou’s height compared to hers. “I’m as tall as you are,” she said.

“Like foot you are,” Lou said. She wasn’t, but she wasn’t that far off, either.

“Am so,” the kid said.

“Not even hardly,” Lou said. It was fun to get faux-defensive with a kid. It riled them up. “Rub the dang salt out your eyes and look again.”

“She doesn’t mean anything by it,” a diver who hadn’t yet spoken up said. Lou hoped she hadn’t thought she was picking on the kid too much. “Like we said, we lost several of our children very recently. Aoi’s lost her playmates.”

“I’m not a baby,” Aoi said, frowning at her. “I don’t have ‘playmates’.”

“I lost my dad and my sisters to a sickness, too. When I was just a little girl,” Lou said. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t easy and it was just the three of them.”

Aoi scrunched her nose in an expression Lou didn’t know how to interpret before dashing back ahead to the front of the group.

[mommys-puppy-tgirl]

Two blue screens

I wrote a lesbian robot puppy girl short story. Please enjoy :3 also the pov character is trans.

Pulling into the driveway, I stepped out of the car. Thebsweet smelling rain cascaded across my face, through my hair and soaking into my clothes on the brief stride to the front door. I fumble with the keys, sliding through three on my ring before finding the right one, all the while the water and wind sap my heat. I turn the key, open the door, and step inside, dripping water on the hardwood floors with a plop. I shut the door, remove my wet black sneakers and socks, hanging both on an empty coatrack.

From upstairs I hear my favorite thing. An excited “Woof” compressed and taken from Nintendo’s ds game “Nintendogs.” Following the sweet audio came a rumble of a heavy chassis across carpeting floor and then a “slump,” “bump” and “crash” as my beautiful girlfriend rolls down the stairs in an excited heap, her mechanical tail wagging. She quickly corrects her pose and rises to her feet to embrace me, squeezing tight enough to hinder my breathing.

Hal-E is my adorable robot girlfriend, her tummy and face each having a monitor like a Nintendo DS. The tummy screen currently has nintendogs open and all the necessary buttons to play of ones favorite Nintendo game on it. The bumpers are on her sides and the cartridge slot is hidden on her back. She wears a crop top and booty shorts so that heat can vent properly, and to cover more explicit ports. across her exposed metal are numerous stickers of bands, anime, cute animals, and flowers

I squeeze back, but stop saying. “Wait wait, I’m all wet. Down girl.”

A small green light flicks on when she hears the order. In an instant she gets on her knees, hands on her lap, and stairs up with the same dumb, cute, adorable smile she always has when I come home. I’m already colder without her natural heaters pressed against my body. So I’ll have to go quick so I can feel her again.

“Puppy, wait for me in our bedroom,” I said as I walked into the other room.

HAL-Es green light turned on and she said “I love you,” scampered up the stairs. She’s a robotic puppy girl all the way through. When we first got together she was just a robot girl, but she had fun exploring the internet and discovered puppy play. It was a recursive file in her memory banks. She pleaded with me to make a program that would help fulfill her dreams. As a programmer, I stayed up all night for a week and fulfilled her wishes and embedded it in that nintendogs cartridge. She can take it out any time she wants. But she loves it too much to ever stop being my good girl.

Now alone I removed my wet clothes and grabbed a towel from the linen closet. I ran the cotton across my skin and removed the water from it, but the cold remained. The rain left a lasting chill deep within me, and brought all the grime from that days work to the surface. Now I need my puppy to wash it all away. I walked upstairs to our shared room, opened rhe door and saw HAL-E sitting on the bed. She too was uncovered, revealing the stickers placed upon her breasts. It reads “if lost, please return to Marcy.” When I see that sticker I can’t help but bite my lip.

HAL-Es eyes widened as I entered the room, her mechanical tail wagging faster and faster, smacking against the pillows with a loud “whomp” over and over again. I could tell she wanted to jump out of bed and hug me, tackle me down and kiss me all over. She made sharp pushes against the bed, false starts as she contained her excitement. As I slowly approached the bed, I heard her cooling fans activate, pumping heat out from her head and torso to keep her from overheating. She whimpers, desperate to be played with, for someone to touch her controls and insert data into her.

“Look at how eager you are… so patient… so good…” I said, my voice shifting to a soft sultry tone. “Good girl. Do you want belly rubs?”

She let out another whimper, then a compressed yap. She rolled onto her back and looked up, her digital eyes filled with a burning heat and desire. Her vents pumped warm air all over my legs, a heat that threatened to drag me down onto her. I wanted to take it all, all her warmth and embrace her. But not yet, first we play the game.

“Good girl,” I said, rubbing my hands all over her chassis, my fingers touching the lower ds screen and sending signals into her brain. Several green lights flicked on and off as I touched her, telling me how much she enjoyed it. She was officially in “good girl mode” and now all pleasure and sensations are heightened. Just a tap of her screen sends waves of energy through her circuitry. if she wasn’t on her charging leash no doubt she would lose power.

I moved my position between her legs and told her to keep her head up. Laying down on her warm body was like a car running car in the winter, so warm it melted any ice still within my skin. I placed my thumbs on the buttons and +pad and my index fingers on her bumpers. She squirmed with each button press, the good feelings programmed into her mind. I didn’t have to play for long, for her it would feel like hours of pleasure.

Nintendogs is always a fun time, espreciallt when my girlfriend moans every time I press a buotton. Every time I play with a puppy I’m playing with her mind, and every treat given is a treat she feels. Her vents are pouring hot air, but when I check her power banks she is still charging. After 15 minutes, I pulled up her task manager, I saw how much her cpu and memory was full. All her processes were at their limit! “How about we turn some of these off…” I said.

“Ahh! Bark! W-what?” She struggled to make words after being a puppy for so long. But before she understood what was happening, I had limited her cognitive processes to 30% and boosted her pleasure centers to 120%. This was something she could turn back on if she wanted too, and was within our discussed limits. Messing with her mind, messing with her programming and messing with her wiring and attachments, she lived for it.

Now that she could only bark and whimper, reduced to my dumb, sweet, happy puppy, a puppy full of pleasure, I rose from between her legs and laid across her belly. My breasts pressed against hers, the sticker caught on my nipple, teasing me unintentionally and reminding me how much I love this woman. The warmth exuding from her chest was burning hot and nipples like fresh dripped candle wax. My eyes locked with hers, those digital girl eyes. I locked my lips with her synthetic lips just below her top screen.

Her silicon lips were warm and soft. What others see as fake, to me they were realer than any other. My tongue slid between them, and I felt the zap of her hidden mouth port. The tingle only made me want her more. I kissed and kissed, she squirmed and moaned into my mouth. It was delicious. Her hands were spazzing, fighting the urge to touch the port between her legs. She knew I’d get there later.

I shifted my weight, so that my knees were on her arms and my dick between her breasts. “Be a good puppy…” I said, my voice containing my eagerness, “and suck mommy’s cock.” Her hot lips on my skin almost made me explode, her sensation, her obedience, her eagerness. I own her, and she loves it, and I love it. The jolt of her energy through my body called me to thrust into her mouth, her synthetic tongue caressing the head. Now I had to hold myself back from explosion. I needed to hold off the building tension from below, calling me to unload inside my puppy’s mouth. “She would love it, mommy’s hot cum inside her,” I thought. The devil in me told me to do it, ruin her hot mouth, short circuit her brain with my love. But no. Not yet. I can’t.

My puppy’s eagerness brought her sensual blowjob from a savoring to devouring. Her dumb, sweet, gorgeous puppy programming needed her to get my cum. But I had to keep it from her, like waving a toy over a dogs head, beckoning it to jump for it, only to snatch the toy away before they can lock their jaws into it. I let her go fast, but now I needed to stop before I gave her the prize.

“Good girl, drop it.”

She immediately stopped, but her eyes were confused, begging me to let her keep going. She was hungry for it. She couldn’t even move her arms to bring me back in. She just had to wait, like a good puppy. The Denial fed her eagerness, she needed a release. She needed to fuck her mpmmy so bad, and I could tell.

“Let’s use the gba port.” The gameboy had an insane amount of device attachments to go with different games or products. The attachment we are going to use was not a commercially made device, but Etsy creators sold these for anyone who had a Nintendo DS branded robotic girlfriend who wanted to get kinky. With a little luck, I managed to get a hold of the attachment before they were shut down by a classic Nintendo cease and desist.

From the bedside table, I pulled out a Gameboy advanced dick attachment with vibration and cum functionality. I plugged in the cock to the gba port between HAL-E’s legs (it was placed there to mimic the ds’ original design and got past Nintendo censors). As soon as it connected, the cock hardened and throbbed. The temperature of the dick rose, using it as a heat sink. Her artificial cum leaked out like a doctor checking a syringe before inserting it and I was the patient. I poured lube all over her cock and stroked her twice to get it all over.

I laid on the bed, my legs in the air and my butt propped up against the pillows. My cock leaked across my front, and my asshole puckered. I put my hands on my cheeks and spread them, beckoning my sweet puppy closer. “Be good girl, Fuck mommy…”

Her desperate puppy eyes guided her as HAL-E moved forward and pressed her warm robot cock against my greedy asshole. She moaned and glitched moan, one that splintered and drowned out her screaming fans. Her cocks head pressed into my ass, spreading it and filling me up with her love. Unlike the doctor, she pushed her cock jn and out. “Arf” and “bark” came from her speakers with every thrust. Her eyes were locked on mine and our hands intwinned. Our love was one, her heat and mine, a building cycle. Her glitchy moans. She’s going to cum.

She’s speeding up. Im moaning, she’s barking, she’s such a good girl, such a good puppy. I’m going to reward her so good. “Good girl. Good puppy.” She speeds up again. Faster. Harder. Desperation rising. My cock tenses. I can feel her cock rubbing against my special spot. “Cum with mommy.”

She barks in response, my beautiful dumb puppy.

“3.”

She speeds up, I’m losing control of my voice and moans.

“2.”

She’s overheating, her fans on overtime, my body is so hot too, I love her so much.

“1.”

Her cock is tensing, but she won’t cum until I say. She’s a good girl.

“Good girl… cum.”

We both cum, as she pins be down with her robot body. She locks her cock inside my Ass to make sure I feel her pulsating eruption within me. Such a good puppy. Her screens both turn blue as the pleasure and heat overloads her. It’s too much, her lips lock with mine as she reboots.

Meanwhile I erupt all over our tummies. First on mine, then hers as she leans over to reboot. With deep breaths I embrace her, I give my darling puppy robot girl all of my love. I kiss her lips, sticking my tongue in and moaning “HAL-E” with every thrust. “Good girl.”

I spent 2 minutes with her as she rebooted. It was quiet, broken by a few clicks as the systems worked through and reset to normal levels. With every moment I fell more and more in love with HAL-E, all over again. But every time I couldn’t help but get scared. She doesn’t always blue screen, but when she does I can’t help but worry. She’s told me 100 times that it’s harmless, but I still get nervous.

After those two minutes to calm down, she woke up. Her eyes bright, “hey cutie” she said. Those words made my heart melt. I kissed her again and again, and forever into the night.

(This was written in my notes app, sorry for any typos) :3

[ericmicael]

The "Campfire Scene" emits such great lesbian energy that even those who are against ElsaMaren admitted this, I don't usually pay attention to haters (normally I block them without talking, I'm already 26 years old, the last thing I want is to get stressed out in internet like a teenager), but this most recent one was fun (he read half of what I said before responding, distributed gratuitous insults and contradicted himself the rest of the time, as I said it was fun for as long as I could stand it). The conversation ended up being summed up in the end with him admitting that he saw that Disney purposely created the moment between Elsa and Honeymaren in "Frozen 2" with an explicit air of romance to please those who thought Elsa was a lesbian, but only because of the financial failure that had with "Lightyear" and "Stranger World" she wouldn't continue that.

It was the anti ElsaMaren profile that was the biggest defender of ElsaMaren that I have ever seen. Normally the antis boil down to saying that Honeymaren is just a tool in the script that will be discarded in "Frozen 3" or they ignore things.

There are people in the fandom who want "Frozen 3" to retcon "Frozen 2" by basically pretending the second film didn't happen and continuing from the first. I never thought that the "Campfire Scene" would be one of the reasons for this since, as I said, the anti tend to belittle this scene (I've even seen someone writing a text complaining about the existence of the "All is Found" duet that ElsaMaren does at that moment), but after seeing an anti admitting that he felt Disney's secret intention with this scene when normally only shippers of the couple do this makes me think that in fact deep down they agree with us that "Frozen 2" confirmed Elsa as a lesbian and that's why they want the retcon.

[cjkie22]

A non-exhaustive list of why you should listen to hit dirtbag boyband Bears in Trees:

their music is really amazing. you'll love it.

especially if your Spotify wrapped was on the pov: indie side of things

and even if it wasn't.

songs for every emotion

absolutely beautiful lyrics

sometimes these lyrics make sense. sometimes they don't. that's part of the fun.

songs about platonic love !!!!!

songs for the queers! the aros! the aces! the enbies! the trans community!

my dad likes them. doesn't sound like a lot, but it's an achievement.

(more underneath the break)

iain (bass/vox/lyrics) has "ginger" tattooed on the back of their head. if that isn't iconic I don't know what is.

on the note of iain, they were the first person i was aware of that used they as a pronoun, and that changed my life

they have a discord server! it's a really lovely community. i am not biased in the slightest. (discord.gg/sandbox) (https://discord.com/invite/thesandbox) (i will personally send you an invite i don't actually know what the link is)

they should DEFINITELY be on the heartstopper soundtrack

if I'm remembering correctly in the tiktok where they said they should be on the heartstopper soundtrack, they also said 3 out of 4 of them were in some way queer. seems like a good thing to me.

they opened for you me at six earlier this year. it was my first time seeing them live. and WOW.

I met some of my best friends through this band. I'm not joking; big shout out to the mojo dojo castle house, I'll never forget that weekend.

they're hilarious on the internet

you might cry at several of their songs for a million different reasons

BearBerry records

they have a tumblr blog @/bearsintreesofficial (iirc). I'm not gonna tag them but

BiT gigs are a safe space. I may have almost fainted at my last one (new cross inn, August 2023) but I've never met so many kind strangers and genuinely lovely people

merch is super comfy and really cute.

it gives stardew valley and animal crossing (trust me I'm right)

after the new cross gig (sweatiest gig in the world), despite surely being exhausted, callum (uke/keys/vox) took my bereal and i got my mini lesbian flag signed by them all

I turned out not to be a lesbian, which possibly makes it funnier, but the flag is stuck on my wall still

cryptids would LOVE their band

dash.

there's also a community minecraft server for discord members

BiT postcards !!!!

gosh and the bit stickers

they covered stick season on an Instagram live

they also do the funniest twitch streams

iain and the mountain

the raccoon email address

george (drums/production) is elite. the drum fills in doing this again? iconic. also has a specific really cool shirt I want to steal

wedding. dress. tiktok.

callum doesn't wear shoes on stage. apparently this was common knowledge but it sure surprised me at new cross.

the austrian soft drinks advert

iain make up looks

callum plays the flute. I want to say classically trained flautist but i may be wrong.

none of them have EVER bribed any members of law enforcement

their songs are very tattooable

talking of tattoos, nick (lyrics/guitar/saw him play the uke on stage once) has L + R tattooed on his forearms (iirc). absolute genius and I am stealing it when I get more of my patchwork sleeve done

iain releases solo music to under the name pet yeti. it's ethereal. callum also plays flute on one of them.

trumpet joe

the four of them never look like they are dressed for the same event

someone once edited the bears in trees wiki page to say that Ryan Ross was in their band

silly geese

that time we got singing? poetry? performance art? of THAT harry potter fanfiction

according to tiktok, iain and nick once had to sneak into their own show because they were underage

nurby

I have a video in the depths of my camera roll of them covering Mama by My Chemical Romance on a twitch stream

sonick

all of them give me gender envy at different times

their newest single (bart's bike) features banjo

patreon content

yelling it gets better with a room full of people was a healing experience.

tilly

modern baseball and fall out boy adjacent in my brain

if you like bears in trees you're automatically hot and really cool

they did a song with noahfinnce and its really super good

callum also featured on a myriad song which is also really super good

bit songs feel like coming home. they feel like hot chocolate and a blanket on a cold night. they feel like a warm hug. they feel like surviving and falling in love with life again and overcoming the worst things. they feel like victory, because you didn't think you'd make it to adulthood. but I'm 20 now. and I'm still here. I've almost graduated uni. and that's what bears in trees feels like.

all of their songs!!!! amazing!!!!

please feel free to add to this list. I'm taking suggestions.

[dollypopup]

So, I wasn't gonna post anything about this, honestly, but because I was directly asked, here's my 2 cents!

First, I want to thank you for saying you trust me with this! I'm also on the ace-spectrum, and I'm a queer, bisexual woman, so I do have a lot of empathy with you and everyone else who was down for queer rep.

(Also, I do not have Anon turned on for my asks. I absolutely respect your privacy, but I've been harassed before, and if people want to come at me, they can do it with their whole chest. Similarly, if people want to come TO me, I'd love to be friends!) I want to start off with the fact that whilst I understand that you believe the article, I don't. Call it the skeptic in me, or my media literacy classes during my grad program or denial or what have you, but we live in a huge era of misinformation. A tabloid is not likely to be any kind of reliable source, and a random reddit user even less so. It's like making a balloon full of pudding and having a clown say it's helium. We're not going to know until the needle pops it. Surely, no one would ever lie on the internet.

That being said, as much as I yearned and wanted for Demi Colin to be confirmed, it's not set in stone, and so it couldn't have been taken away from us. Honestly, even being ace-spec, a lot of the HC of Demi!Colin started putting a bad taste in my mouth when I realized that a lot of this predominately cishet fandomw as doing it as a means of keeping Colin 'pure' for Penelope, and that struck me as incredibly acephobic. Sure, they were HCing him as one of us. . .but not because it fit with his character or provided a rich and interesting arc for him to explore, but more so that his identity was an extension of their hopes and wants for Penelope. It wasn't for him as a character, but for him as a prize. And that made me so very sad, so my dream of Demi!Colin died when I saw that happening so frequently. Us Demi and Ace folks deserved better than that, and we continue to.

Either way, I think you are absolutely allowed to feel your disappointment! This is a frustration safe zone! There was a lot of potential this season, especially for Colin, that I feel has been dropped. But even IF that article contains some truth (big, heavy IF). . .idk, I see it through the lens that lot of us Demi folks have had sex. Even no strings attached sex. I know I have. Was I disassociated from it for a lot of the time? Yeah. Was it satisfying? No. But did it happen? It did. I chose to take part in it, and they were experiences that helped me grow. And I am no less Demi for it! IF this article is true, instead of us freaking. . .I feel like it could tell us a lot about Colin's character.

He is a man who has had, largely, no good role models in his life. Not in this regard. Who does he have to guide him? Anthony? Literally said he should have taken Colin to brothels. Benedict? Hell, he had a threesome himself. Why wouldn't Colin be out here thinking 'This is what Men do, this is what my brothers do, why not?' Colin is young. He's 23 still trying to find himself. And the entire idea of 'oh, he's a nerd! no way he's had threesomes' lol, like nerds aren't kinky? Come on, I'm a nerd and I've done way more than people would assume I have. He was traveling for months, and I think this really isn't as huge a deal as we're making it out to be. I ship Polin exclusively, and I love the idea of them having their firsts together, but I'm also not angry otherwise. In my mind, he's still demi. Just like he'll always be ND, even if it isn't confirmed.

Sidenote, o want to touch on something that is somewhat unrelated to your post, but something I'm seeing a lot is the whole 'it's dehumanizing for him to watch two women!' or 'it's lesbian fetishization!'

from the very bottom of my heart, as a gay woman, people saying that can eat me. These are the same people who didn't care about any of our representation, before. They didn't care about having lesbian characters, didn't bring them up. Now that it affects their (largely) het pairing, and specifically Colin as a perfect prize in a pairing he has largely been denied a narrative within, we're talking pieces and pawns for their discontent? No, I refuse. There are legitimate criticisms that can and should take place about Bridgerton's lack of care toward wlw, and especially that our only representation may actually just be a lesbian performance for the sake of a threesome, but this is not a criticism on COLIN. It is a criticism on the PRODUCTION. Because if we had queer women in the series before, it wouldn't be an issue. However, I refuse to have my sexuality used as a 'ewwww gross! look what they're doing! isn't that soooo wrong?' gotcha moment by people who just don't like his character. If we're gonna have a conversation about it, we should have a conversation about it based purely on our actual desire to protect and care for queer women. Not using us as stepping stone soap boxes to prop up an argument.

Queer people are really done dirty in the Polin fandom, and this is proof of it. Demi!Colin is important to me, and he continues living on in my heart and my fics, and even if it turns out that he's fucked up and down the Amalfi coastline and watched live porn, that won't make him less demi to me, personally. Ace spec people's experience with sex is all unique, and honestly, watching seems very in line with Colin's character. I don't agree with peeps who call it weird or gross that he watches porn.

This is an incredibly puritanical fandom, and I find it more and more evident as I spend time in it. The entire 'suffering' 'penance' 'deserve her' 'grovel' train was already very clear in that regard, and then people only wanting Colin to be a virgin so he remained 'pure' and 'untarnished' (legit takes I had to read with my own eyeballs) for Penelope was so Catholic on main that it made me feel insane.

Us ace-spec peeps deserve to be and should have the space to be upset at any developments taking place! We also deserve to be free from people doing pseudo pearl clutching and hiding behind feminist and queer-friendly language to disguise that they're just upset that Colin is getting anything at all in his storyline that centers around him and his own discovery outside of Penelope. Even if he isn't a virgin, he can absolutely still be Demi, Anon! And I hope that brings you some comfort.

Am I a fan of the threesomes foursomes moresomes and live porn speculation? No, not particularly. Am I livid furious throwing up about it? Also no. This series has betrayed me and disappointed me in so many ways, but so has the fandom. I guess I'm accustomed to it, now. But I want to reiterate that we should not believe everything that is posted. Some rando on a reddit forum confirming a tabloid article does not investigative journalism and peer review and confirmed sources make.

But in the event that the season does disappoint and gives us some baffling storylines: this is where fanfic can be such a comfort. It's how a story lives on in perpetuity. I've written trans!Colin and queer!Colin and demi!Colin and virgin!Colin and bdsm!Colin and all sorts! We can give we everything we want. It's our playground and it's meant to be fun.

But over my dead body will I believe a Sun UK article lol

[goodluckclove]

Hi! Have you ever felt ashamed of yourself because something made you feel like your taste in books/film/music wasn't diverse enough? I'm here to tell you that having that be the case does not necessarily mean that you're a bigot that hates minorities!

I mean, if you only read books by cishet white men specifically because you think they're the only good kinds of books - yes, that is sort of indicative of a problem in your perspective.

But most people don't pick books because of the author's background. Most people don't even know the author's background. Sometimes you just read books you think are good, and it isn't until you look back and notice the lack of a certain voice and think "huh, that's weird that I haven't looked into that".

That's okay! There are many brilliant minority authors that you might not have a way to know about unless you search the right term or have someone tell you. This is not a moral failure on your behalf, but an opportunity to see just how vast your favorite genre is.

Consider science fiction, or speculative fiction as a whole. Philip K. Dick has a deeply specific type of science fiction influenced by his gender, the era he was born in, and his rampant and intense schizophrenia (look up The Exegesis, it's wild). Kurt Vonengut has an entirely different take on the same genre that was heavily, heavily shaped by being a literal prisoner of war and being in the Dresden Bombings of World War Two. He was, I believe, also rumored to be on the schizophrenic specturm.

But let's widen the scope! I have only read a few books of Octavia Butler and wasn't as impacted by them as other books I've read, but I definitely noticed a major shift in atmosphere in a narrative world formed by a black woman. The air tasted different. It was a truly remarkable way to expand my vision of what the genre can do.

There's also Yoko Ogawa's The Memory Police. I have a complicated relationship with this book. I read the first chapter, loved the environment of an Influenced sci-fi dystopia, but then immediately realized this premise would destroy me and stopped reading. I still have it. I'm going to read it, it's just a tough subject for me.

If you want to widen your scope of art consumption you can do it as easily as taking a book or movie you like and seeing what art influenced it or what art was influenced by it. Websites like Tastedive are great for that. You can also look for lists of minority authors that have written in your genre of choice and see what sounds appealing.

You also shouldn't do it all at once. I don't think a minority artist would appreciate that you rushed through their work solely because someone on the Internet told you you're a bad person unless you experienced every oppressed perspective immediately. You have time.

A while back I did research and made an effort to read more female fiction. I looked at my bookshelf and saw that a majority of the women I read were either nonfiction writers or retro lesbians. So I bought a few short story collections by women writers that I found online, because I was also inexperienced with that. It was great. I really enjoyed it. My next goal is to gather more perspectives on experimental fiction, my favorite genre. I've read mostly Western, czech, Italian, Spanish and French. Some women, mostly men. I would like to see what else is out there.

Also if anyone has a suggestion for a book on black existentialism other than Ralph Ellison's Invisible Man, I sure am hungry for it. Invisible Man is one of the most painful and beautiful books I've ever read.

I'm rambling. Art is exciting, is what I mean to say. If you feel the way you take in art is missing something, instead of scolding yourself for that it's actually a lot more effective to do a lil' bit of internet searching, get a new book or movie, and see what it makes you feel and think. I'm pretty confident that's the ideal viewing experience in the eyes of the minority creators who made these pivotal works.

Consider race, sexuality, era, disability, gender identity - all of that and more changes the way a person makes art and it's truly enlightening to explore!

[corvuserpens]

Saw the trailer for the new The Crow movie with Bill Skarsgård and...

Well, it looks cool and fun at least, so I'll definitely sit my ass at the movie theater for the first time since Black Panther: Wakanda Forever came out, but I can't help to feel like making it a "remake" of the original 1994 film (bless Brandon Lee and may he rest forever in peace) with some MASSIVE changes (RIP to my girl Sarah and Cool Dad Sgt. Albrecht, they deserved better) was a bit of a missed opportunity? Because look, it's like this

say whatever you will about the quality of the sequels, and whether you liked them or hated them is entirely your business and valid either way. I mean, I only watched City of Angels once and barely remember it, it was that good. Never managed to catch Salvation (read the plot) and watched Wicked Prayer a couple of times (David Boreanaz and Danny Trejo were in that movie, HAH!) and I'm basically neutral about it because THAT was practically a remake of the original but in a different setting with different characters, the plot beats were the a carbon copy.

In summary, the tradition with this unloved obscure franchise is that with every movie, the story changes. You have a new cast, a new city, new villains, and the only constant is that someone is brutally murdered along with a loved one, and their soul can't rest, so the crow that carries them to the next life allows them to come back to right the wrongs before moving on. And independently of how successful the storytelling was, they at least tried to do something different each time (except for Wicked Prayer): City of Angels was about a father being brought back to avenge the murder of his son and Salvation was about a guy being wrongly accused of the murder of his girlfriend and coming back from being executed to solve the mystery of her death and avenge himself and her. And this new film is just--

Oh we have two cishet people who are in love and get murdered and they're both just called Eric and Shelly and this isn't supposed to be a reboot, it's just the same plot as the '94 movie and the main characters are different people but have the same names as the two lovers from the original and we're gonna ramp up the supernatural element even though knowing so little about it is what made the original so mysterious and tight in its themes and instead of our titular Crow looking like "a Nine Inch Nails member" he'll look "like a rapper on SoundCloud" (quoted from a great YT comment btw). Oh and Eric and Shelly are delinquents so we can toss some poorly construed redemption arc, just to spice things up a little.

Just ?????? WHAT?? That's IT????

Ever since the rumors of a new Crow movie started traveling around the internet, I was hoping they would really try and make something interesting with it because this is a kind of universe (I hate that term, fucking Marvel) where there's strict rules, true, but within its boundaries you can get really creative! Like why not have a female Crow, for a change? It's always been a male playing the part! Why not an LGBTQ+ Crow, like hear me out:

how about a lesbian couple who were super in love and happy but got murdered by homophobes one night so one of them is brought back to exact vengeance so brutal, vicious and graphic even the devil would get chills (and the anti-LGBTQ+ fake fans in the audience would shit their pants)?

And I didn't have to think too hard about that one! It's basically the original plot but with lesbians! You get a female Crow AND a LGBTQ+ Crow in the same film!!

And it doesn't have to be about lovers being murdered either, like I said City of Angels was about a father and his son, in Salvation the guy got wrongly executed for the murder of his gf, why not have a daughter coming back to avenge her mother? Why not a friend coming back bc they can't rest after they and their BFF were gunned down? Why can't it be total strangers who hit it off after meeting for five minutes and have a "wrong place, wrong time" scenario going on??? How much better would that be?

So many possibilities, but nooooooo, we gotta go with the tired Sad White Boy (no shade on Bill Skarsgård) loses his One True (Straight) Love plot and he has to be conventionally attractive (and get jacked up when he's brought back bc yeah, I mean in the original Lee's character looked exactly the same pre and pos resurrection, his only superpower was that he couldn't be killed but whatever) and look badass while killing all the bad guys. BORING. Oh and 2024's Shelly is a black woman who gets murdered, don't think I didn't notice that casual racism.

Since we're on that note, why not have a black Crow???? Or a Mexican Crow??????? I realize that in Wicked Prayer Jimmy Cuervo maybe was supposed to be Mexican, but he was still a white man (with Mexican heritage, I'll give it that) so we're back to the same white-people only club! I realize there are white Mexicans, but that's not the point, the point is to give brown skinned people the chance to play a main role where they get to be badass too! Just..... AHHHH.

Listen. Anyone who truly knows me is aware I'm a big romantic bimbo. I LOVE a good love story that ends in tragedy or in bittersweet terms bc the couple are so in love and true love never dies (see what I did there, fellow Crow fans?). But nothing is gonna beat Brandon Lee's movie in that sense, that's why I love it. What buggers me the most is that, from what I've been told, the director and writers wanted to make an adaptation more faithful to the graphic novel (which I have not read YET! I recommend Into The Depths video if you wanna know more about the author James O'Barr and his story, which is a very sad one indeed) that started it all, and yet it doesn't look like it will be any more faithful to said graphic novel than the '94 movie! Like, if you're gonna bullshit about it, at least make up a better excuse.

Hhhhhhhhhh. Hollywood's gonna Hollywood, right? Joke's on me expecting better.

TL:DR The Crow (2024) is trying to be a remake of The Crow (1994) when we already have a remake (The Crow: Wicked Prayer (2000)) instead of trying to make something new and it's silly, but I will still go watch it bc at least it looks fun to look at. And there's a bit of poetry in knowing this new flick will release 30 years after the original, ig.

Rant over.

Bloopers: try to guess how many times I ended up writing Wicked Grace instead of Wicked Prayer bc I'm back on my Dragon Age era lmaooooo.

[starfleetwitch]

Berenice Griselda Wolfe tried to kill me and when that didn't work, she sabotaged my home set up by being a flirty MF with a TARDIS.

(Not a sentence I thought I'd EVER write completely sober or seriously but here we are)

This is a bit of a long story and now I've written it and got it out of my system I fully realise just how much I resemble a dog barking at a corner for no reason.

There is a TLDR at the end

Story time:

So I got this Tardis themed external USB hub for Christmas a few years ago.

It's kinda cool, lights up when you plug in a USB and what not. Fantastic. It also made that scrapping TARDIS sound when you plug in USBs. Also a fantastic feature, quite quirky. Much wow... For a week and then it really grated on my nerves. Found out after a month there was a switch on the side that let you turn the sound off. Wonderful. Fantastic. Problem solved. They all lived happily ever after, end of the story.

Except it wasn't.

Because the internet exists and with it, great knowledge that I shouldn't have been allowed access to.

I got bored and last year during some death scrolling, I found out I could change that hideously irritating TARDIS scraping sound...

...TO WHAT EVER I WANTED...

... And lesbian jesus help me, I wanted to be funny 🙈

So I decided to use sound bites from Holby City. Specifically from Bernie Wolfe.

We had "I say ding dong" for when a USB was pushed into a slot and "Easy tiger" for when a USB was pulled out of a slot.

Link here for reference: Where it all went wrong

Anyway. For a while it was quite funny... Except for you know... When my volume was turned up full blast and I was getting jump scared by Bernie Wolfe's voice every time I plugged in, lord knows what the rest of the house thought every time it went off.

I lived with it for a while... You know... Haha, scared me, GOT ME AGAIN BERNIE YOU OLD SCALLY WAG! But then things started going wrong. The jump scares started going into heart failure mode when in the middle of the night if I was doing a long download, she'd just randomly yell 'DING DONG!' or even worse, she'd start stuttering on full volume 'I SAY I SAY I SAY DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG'. GENUINE heart failure territory. Like FOR GODS SAKES BERENICE STFU!!!

Me being me, I forgot how I'd changed the setting to be her voice... And also at this point, I should add, the switch on the side to stop her talking stopped working.

I must assume murdering me in cold blood via jump scares just wasn't working fast enough for her because for a while she stopped.

All seemed well in the land of Starfleet Witch but unbeknownst to me, Bernie was plotting something bigger. Something she knew would REALLY insta kill me.

I started working from home for a bit and randomly about a week in, she did it again... Except this time she yelled 'EASY TIGER' and that was it. Nothing seemed out of place, she never spoke again after that. Everything was fine for a couple of weeks.

Until last week (AKA THE WEEK THAT NEVER ENDED.)

I'd been in an anxious spiral. Shit was happening IRL and I was TERRIFIED of the future. She saw this weakness in me, witnessed first hand how on the edge I was and decided, like the spiteful cunt she is, that now was the time to hatch her brilliant plan.

Wednesday morning. I had a deadline. 9:30am arrived... But my computer wouldn't turn on. I rang for help, I had switched it on and off many times... Nothing. 10:30am rolled around. I unplugged everything, had the very guts of my computer spread out across my floor praying it would be an easy fix... Nothing. At the 11th hour, I plugged everything back in and tried to turn it on again, constantly pressing F8 to reboot it and miracle of miracles, it worked! I downloaded some software to test the hard drive health, did some diagnostics and everything seemed fine. Better than fine. The computer was HEALTHY AF! So I prayed it may have been just a one off glitch.

It wasn't.

In fact my computer repeated its issue of booting up every morning after that, an expense I couldn't afford to fix any time soon but I NEEDED the computer for work.

Friday morning rolled around, I unplugged everything, held the very heart of my computer in my hands trying to find a loose connection or SOMETHING. Nothing. Everything was fine. Dejected, this time when I tried to turn the computer on, I only plugged in the power cable, screen and keyboard.

It worked first try.

And that's when I FINALLY got suspicions.

Over the weekend I decided to do some experiments. I tried plugging in different things I hadn't plugged in when I last tried switching it on and low and behold it wouldn't turn on when Bernie TARDIS was plugged in.

And that dear friends is when I decided aging 40 years in the space of days over a joke isn't actually funny and that I'd CLEARLY wronged a god somewhere along the way, for what crueller punishment could they bestow upon me than to have my very muse almost kill me via an anxiety induced heart attack?

TLDR:

I haven't found out how yet but my TARDIS with Bernie's voice clearly got possessed by a disgruntled spirit insisting on making my life a living hell and now it's in quarantine until I can cleanse it's soul and work out how to take it's voice away again.

Moral of the story: Don't give things Bernie Wolfe's voice, no matter how funny you think it'll be. Bolting upright in your bed because you heard Jemma Redgrave say "ding dong" at 3am isn't actually as pleasant an experience as you might think and when it happens several times, it's terrifying.

[humorisstoredinthetits]

Heathers Candy Store AU Pt. 2

So y'all really liked the last one and I said to myself 'I like getting validation from strangers on the internet' so here I am with another one

Things have been going amazingly for Veronica

She's making more money than ever before, enough that she can easily get a better apartment for her Betty and Martha and cover their rent as well

She loves her job, she enjoys learning how to make different kinds of candy and experimenting with new types and different ways to make them

And of course, she loves her three gfs, and they've even started planning on having her move in with them once she finishes her degree, which would allow her to write whatever she pleases and not have to worry about making enough to make ends meet

Things only get better when she gets a call from her cousin, Janis, who lives in Chicago

They were close when they were little, and as they got older they bonded over their attraction to women and struggles at school and became someone they could talk to who would actually understand what they were going through

Janis tells her that her gf, Cady, got a full ride to the same university as Veronica for mathematics, and they're going to be moving to Sherwood

Veronica is super excited, she hasn't seem Janis in person for years and is overjoyed that they're going to be close like when they were little

Janis mentions that she's gonna be doing some commission work for her art but Cady is looking for a job over there

Veronica gets the idea that she can come work for the Candy Store with her and quickly texts Chandler to ask

At first she's a little apprehensive but Veronica sends her a pic of her doing the puppy eyes and Chandler relents and agrees to hire her

After they hang up Veronica realizes that she never gave Janis the name of the store, but she figures that its fine, they'res only one candy store in the mall, Cady will find her way with no problem

Boy was she wrong

A few weeks pass, and its Cady's first day at the store, or its supposed to be

Cady is a no show and Veronica tries calling her but gets no response

Chandler is annoyed about it, Duke is indifferent and Mac is worried

They run the store for the day and when they close Veronica gets a text from Cady

She's super confused bc Veronica wasn't there and when she asked the owners didn't know a Veronica

She relays this to the Heathers and they're all confused to

Cady then asks does she not work at "Regina's Confectionary" (very unoriginal ik, I couldn't think of a pun with plastic that would work)

None of them have ever heard of this store before

Cady tells them where it is so they walk over to figure out just what the hell is going on

When they get over there they see a more modern looking candy store, complete with rows of the tube-shaped candy dispensers and plenty of candy-related merchandise like pillows and shit

They notice that they have more packaged candy then store-made

Regina's is also bigger and flashier, unlike the 50's vibe that the Heathers were going for

(Imagine an It's Sugar vs. a Mom and Pop Candy Store)

Cady is waiting for Veronica outside, just so confused

She explains that when she came to the mall she looked and saw "Regina's Confectionary" and figured that was it

They argue a bit and Cady says that all she was told was that there was a Candy Store in the mall run by a trio of lesbians and she knew of a Regina and her polycule from high school so she figured that was it

(In this AU, just like how the events of Heathers didn't happen, the events of Mean Girls didn't either, Cady just came to Northshore and was taken under the wing of Janis and Damian and eventually her and Janis got together)

Cady didn't really want to work for the Plastics, but since they didn't really do much to her and Veronica had told her all these nice things about them she figured she would give it a shot

It just so happened that on the day Cady went in to start Regina was also looking for another worker, and when Cady went in asking about a job she decided to hire her on the spot

Regina decided not to question it, she just decided that it was her lucky day

Veronica then says how didn't you see the one that has Veronica in the name but she goes to look on the mall directory and she realizes that the name of the store hadn't been changed on there yet

Around this time the Plastics are locking up their store and they see the Heathers and Veronica standing there in their uniforms

Regina quickly realizes that they are her competition for the candy market in the mall and so she decides to flaunt how amazing her store is and how they're going to put their sad little store out of business

It takes every ounce of restraint in Chandler's body not to beat the shit out of Regina then and there

Regina keeps yapping and Chandler snaps, launching herself at her, narrowly missing Regina

Duke, Mac and Veronica all rush to restrain her

Chandler then calls her a copycat and a pathetic little trust fun baby who didn't have to work for anything while she built her store with blood sweat and tears, and at least she could make her own candy and didn't have to buy pre-packaged

That makes Regina snap

Thankfully Gretchen and Karen knew this was coming and were able to grab Regina before she socks Chandler right in her face

Both groups decide to leave, still holding on to Chandler and Regina, who are both still spewing insults at each other, saying how they will run each other out of business

When they get back to the car Chandler swears that she is going to run that bitch outta here if its the last thing she does

Over the next few weeks their rivalry continues

Chandler is constantly pushing the others to come up with new candy to draw more people in

At the same time, Regina is coming up with all these deals to draw people away

Sure they candy might not be as good, but who cares as long as its cheaper, and people generally agree with that philosophy

Being made in-store, the Heathers' candy tastes much better, but as a result it is much more expensive to make and sell, and not everyone has that kind of money to spend on sweets

After learning that Cady was supposed to work for the Heathers, Regina offers her just an insane sum of money for a part time job to stay there, which Cady agrees to

Veronica feels betrayed, but when Cady tells her the amount she is forced to concede that maybe she should stay there, bc its more than the Heathers would be able to offer her considering that business slowed substantially since Regina's opened

A similar situation between what happened with Martha and Betty happens between Cady and Janis, but unlike with the Heathers the seemingly only redeeming quality of Regina is how much she is paying her

Janis is still pissed at Cady for working for someone who essentially ruined her life, but is also begrudgingly forced to admit that the money is nice and helps in the event that her commissions dry up

Anytime they come across each other, Chandler and Regina get into a screaming match, which mall security often has to break up

Eventually the mall owners get tired of the constant arguments and pull them into a meeting, essentially saying that one of them has to go for the mall to have peace

While Heathers' was there longer, Regina's gets more business, so the mall cannot decide which one needs to leave

They then say that they have to decide amongst themselves who leaves, otherwise they both get kicked out

Regina tries giving them a shit load of cash to leave but Chandler's ego is too large for that and she refuses

After a bit of arguing Gretchen comes up with the idea for a competition, where they will have three rounds where they would each make the same kind of candy and have an audience taste test and vote on who is better

**Line break bc tumblr is dumblr**

Chandler and Regina both agree and when they bring up the idea of the owners they see this as an opportunity to bring more people to the mall and agree as well

They spend a few weeks promoting it and setting things up when the day finally arrives

A stage was set up with the Heathers and Veronica on one side and Cady and the Plastics on the other, with all the necessary equipment and ingredients

Below them is the audience area, where 9 chairs are set up for the judges

Janis somehow ends up being one of them, being selected randomly

The first candy was chosen by the Heathers, the second by the Plastics, and the third was chosen by the audience

The first candy chosen is chocolate

The Heathers win easily, The Plastics don't make alot of chocolate in their store, preferring to sell pre-packaged, so they were completely outmatched

The second is a sour chew

The Plastics win, Karen really likes sour candy (She doesn't even think its sour, she can eat bag after bag of it and not once complain of the sourness), so they are used to making it

The audience choice is a candy cane

Its around Christmas Time, so it fits

Neither group make these that often, so they are on equal playing level here

Once they finish and hand over their samples, Chandler is sweating bullets

But when the votes are tallied, the Heathers win and get to keep their store at the mall

Regina actually growls at her before storming off

Later, Chandler gets a beach chair and some popcorn while she watches the Plastics and Cady move out of their store, laughing every time they struggle with something

Cady eventually confesses to Veronica that she sabotaged the last batch by putting in too much peppermint, making the cane's taste too strong and allowing the Heathers to keep their store

Veronica worries that she might get fired, but Cady says they'res no way they would notice, since they were too busy doing their jobs to notice her

Once they move out, the Heathers' store gets alot more business from those who heard how they won their competition through sheer skill, so much so that they are able to reduce their prices a bit, which brings in the customers who may have once went to Regina's bc of their cheaper prices

Things are going so well, in fact, that they even begin to discuss moving out of the mall and into a larger space so they can have more candy and more space to make it

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi okay you said it’s okay to rant to you so here’s mine: being a lesbian is so lonely and isolating. I’m in my mid 20s and I’ve maybe met two lesbians in my entire life and have never been in a relationship with a woman. (I have dated some men bec I didn’t realize I was queer till senior yr of hs, although it’s so obviously to me now) I have never had a group of queer people to hang out with and I am always the only queer person in a room. I have some good (straight) friends but I see and interact with the world so differently so it’s hard feeling close to them. I basically have to be a straight person around them or talk about being a lesbian and watch them have no idea what to say. I just can’t imagine telling a straight person “hey what if you were in your mid 20s and had never even had a full length conversation with a straight person”.

With the internet (or parts of it) being so openly queer now I feel so behind and stupid for not having found this perfect gay friend group or even having a girlfriend. It just feels like every queer person has got those things and that I’ve somehow done something wrong because I haven’t. And I’m worried it will only get harder to make friends as I get older. I wish I didn’t feel so lonely. I wish I wasn’t the only lesbian in every room I have ever been in. I wish I had someone in my life (friend or girlfriend) who truly saw and understood me. (I also wish more therapists were lesbians, but that’s another rant)

Thank you so much for listening. Your blog is such a wonderful, safe space and I enjoy your writing immensely . <3 have a great rest of your day!

Hi love!

First of all, this feeling of being lonely and isolated is completely valid and unfortunately all too normal. There are so many parts of the world that are lacking in queer spaces.

Please know, NOT every queer person has a perfect gay friend group and a significant other. There are SO MANY people who feel like you do- I've talked to many of them here! You are not stupid or behind at all!

If you can be safe and do so, here are some suggestions if you're in the mental space and want them:

If you live near a city, try to see if there are queer spaces there. Queer spaces are more common in cities. Things like gay bars, drag shows, and cafes advertised as queer-safe.

If you like near a city that does so (and again, if it is safe to do so) try attending a pride event. Even if you go my yourself, I promise you will make friends. Last year at pride the group I went with actually grabbed like three or four people who had been there by themselves and just added them to our group!

Try online friend and dating apps. If you feel safe putting on your profile that you're queer, you'll probably find people in your area who are also queer!

Continue to talk to people online. I promise, there are so many people feeling the same way as you, and even though it's not the same as finding people in person, a community in any way is still so helpful.

You have a lot of people on here that are here for you (myself included) and you are NOT alone <3

[pillarsalt]

Wikipedia anon here, i feel SO embarrassed for misremembering so much about that article. the concept of the cotton cieling and the reminder of the sheer amount of institutions/resources that have been taken over by tims/tras makes me so upset i didn't want to recheck the article again, even though i should have. (it was some time ago i saw the rb of your comic and did my first check, then saw your comic again and remembered about doing so, to clarify. yes i'm an absolute mess i apologize)

i appreciate you so much for not only getting what i was trying (and failing lmao) to explain but also looking into and linking the talk page because JFC!!! so sharing differing opinions for a topic (with cited sources!!) on wikipedia is a no-no, but it's totally fine when you and your friends retroactively decide pro-topic views make you look bad and so you delete the entire article and rewrite the definition of said topic to be about generically "being left out of spaces :.-(" instead of being honest about it being homophobic, rapist rhetoric (which is the reason you're trying to hide it in the first place) hoooooooly SHIT

if genderism ever blows over (with how long it's stuck around for, and with no one being willing to talk about objective/legal concerns like the WPATH files and Maya Forestater, let alone even have a conversation with a GC person, at this point i'm not hopeful...) everyone who contributed to the widescale abuse and trauma of women (especially lesbians), girls, gay men, gnc people, and tip (medicalized or not) could spend the rest of their lives begging for forgiveness and it wouldn't be anywhere near enough. not that i'm expecting them to do that, of course. it's not even blown over yet and we can see from the cotton ceiling article that they'll absolutely try to just gaslight everyone and pretend it never happened (and if it did, it wasn't that bad, and if it was bad it was your fault for not doing your research, etc etc)

ANYWAY i'd rather end on something positive, so thank you again for sharing your wonderful art on here!! seeing there's a talented, feminist female artist who's into pokemon and mlp but hasn't bought into trans ideology is so healing for me. hope you have a lovely day!!! :) :) :)

I wouldn't be embarrassed, I mean the article's not completely empty but it's obviously been stripped down to next to nothing compared to what it used to contain, and half the cited sources aren't really relevant at all. They briefly mention the MTF porn actor who coined the term but failed to mention the scores of other popular MTFs who were vehement proponents of the rhetoric (Riley J Dennis is the first one that comes to mind). And yeah that dude in the discussion page saying he's going to be watching the page and reverting any edits he doesn't like, isn't that very wikipedia illegal? I don't edit wikipedia but I'm fairly certain that camping on an article to make sure your edits aren't edited is not allowed.

It's definitely been a trend with "progressives" to flip the script on anything they've done and can see was wrong in retrospect, claiming "no actually YOU said this, not me." It's a very good reason to keep things documented, and I have huge respect for people who keep the receipts so we can hold people accountable for the harmful bullshit they've spread around. (Speaking of which, I think now is a good time to remind everyone that Eli Erlick is a rapist, another interesting fact that has been unsuccessfully scrubbed from the internet.)

Thanks for your wonderful words as well :) Have a great day too!