#this was the big project i was talking about...

[oldsoul007]

unexpected

joel miller x pregnant!reader

summary: y/n finds out some unexpected news and is nervous to tell joel

joel miller masterlist

I paced the small living room, my hands fidgeting with the hem of my shirt. I could hear Sarah in the other room, humming to herself as she worked on some school project. The sound was sweet, grounding, but it didn’t stop the anxious flutter in my chest.

I glanced at Joel, who sat on the couch, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. He’d been unusually quiet since I asked him to sit down. He hadn’t spoken a word since I said, “I need to tell you something.”

I bit my lip and took a deep breath.

“Okay,” I began, my voice trembling slightly, “so… this isn’t something we planned. At all. I know we’ve been trying to keep things stable for Sarah. She’s still so young, and I know things have been hard, and… well, I just—”

“Y/n.”

I froze, his voice cutting through my rambling. Joel looked up at me, his dark eyes steady and waiting.

“Just say it,” he said, his tone soft but firm.

My heart thudded painfully in my chest. I took another breath and blurted it out before I could lose my nerve.

“I’m pregnant.”

The words hung in the air, heavy and terrifying. I searched Joel’s face for a reaction, but he didn’t move, didn’t speak. He just stared at me, his expression unreadable.

My stomach twisted. This wasn’t the reaction I’d hoped for.

“I know it’s not what we talked about,” I said quickly, my voice rising in panic. “I mean, we never even talked about having more kids, and I don’t know how Sarah’s going to feel, and—”

Joel stood up, cutting me off mid-sentence. He took a step toward me, and for a moment, I thought he was angry.

“Joel, I—”

Before I could finish, he closed the distance between us, his hands cupping my face as he kissed me. It wasn’t a soft kiss, but a fierce, overwhelming one that stole my breath.

When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against mine, and I could feel the smile tugging at his lips.

“You’re pregnant,” he murmured, almost as if testing the words.

I blinked, my eyes wide. “You’re… not mad?”

“Mad?” Joel let out a soft laugh, his thumb brushing my cheek. “Y/n, I’m… I’m so happy. Damn happy.”

My lips parted in surprise. “Really?”

Joel nodded, his voice thick with emotion. “I didn’t know I could get this lucky twice. First Sarah, and now this.”

Tears stung my eyes as relief washed over me. I let out a shaky laugh, wrapping my arms around his neck.

“God, I thought you were going to freak out,” I admitted, my voice muffled against his shoulder.

Joel chuckled, holding me close. “Nah, I’m not freakin’ out. Just… thinkin’ about how we’re gonna tell Sarah.”

I pulled back slightly to look at him. “You think she’ll be okay with it?”

Joel smiled, brushing a strand of hair from my face. “Sarah’s got the biggest heart I’ve ever seen. She’s gonna be a great big sister.”

I smiled back, a weight lifting off my shoulders. In that moment, with Joel’s arms around me and his quiet reassurance, I let myself believe everything was going to be okay.

[formerplumi]

USED A SUA IMG IN ONE OF YOUR BATFAM POST imagine a luka reader. the family desperate to reach you and due to lack of memories of what You were like since they all neglected you, started just making shit up about you. yes, of course youre angelic, kind and so darling to them! youd never hurt a fly and your soul is such a forgiving one... until they look you up online properly and see you gay baiting someone to get them shot

- prologue

PAUSE anon you cooked, omg. (for those who don't know who luka is i've put a very small summary of his character right at the end.)

honestly i've just been using sua as a poster girl, but a reader with luka's characteristics is so interesting... after being relocated from your "father's" underground business dealings to gotham to live with your real family, it'd be natural to stay reclusive because of the change in atmosphere.

i imagine a luka-ish reader would try to socialise more with the family than the current insert, but their attempts would be unmeaningly unsettling. an innate feeling would rise in the batfam that didn't make them dislike you, per say, just unintentionally avoid you.

you can't be much bothered with it, since even in your previous living conditions, there'd be people who liked you, and people who didn't. you knew how to work around it

so you redirect your focus. you'd been treated like an adult as you were being raised, so you had your goals and motivations figured out at this age already. for a handful of years in the manor, you'd work to keep up the fame you'd built up with your old "father", fame that slightly dissolved after your sudden disappearance from the screens; your escape from the industry.

eventually, when you decide to move out to perhaps further your prospects and influence, there's a buzz in the media at the sudden reappearance of the angle-voiced child star who was taken off the big screens after their "father" got involved with court dealings.

this is probably what eventually alerts the family to your absence in the manor, and in the shame that they couldn't notice it without the help of a third party, they scrounge around in their memory for good exchanges with you. just to have some semblance of the kid who wandered around aimlessly in the house. the kid they shooed away without ever actually shooing them away.

when they find nothing; they try to make stuff up. "angle-voiced child star", so you must've been soft-spoken, sympathetic, angelic person too, right? yeah, yeah you must've been a darling... how could they be so ignorant of you?

their shame somewhat morphs their unease at your old attempts to talk to them, into a shy child's timid want to talk to a new family in a new area, without any help whatsoever.

oh you poor, poor little kid.

i imagine it wouldn't be too difficult for them to find content of you, since your net-presence sky-rocketed after returning to the music industry. but ohh just imagine their surprise when they get access to an underground website streaming some sick stage-show human trafficking project, and see you there?? whatever are you there for? doesn't your fame generate a fortune? what in the world would you need to be on this... show for?

idk how the "getting them shot" thing could play into any other place other than a dark-web game show tbh. maybe they don't initially recognise that the videos up there are for such a thing, only after seeing you walk away from an applauding audience, get surprised by the sound of a shot and the image of your opponent lying dead on the stage ground, do they bother to investigate the ordeal. but this time, as vigilantes, and not failed family.

they'll just... save you along the way, yeah? 'save' you.

luka is a character from a series called alien stage, and you can find the episodes uploaded on youtube by vivinos. luka's established as a well known, famous character within the alien stage 'tournament', who's participated in the whole thing before, and has a significant amount of aliens/audience rooting for him.

his character on it's own looks beautiful, and is dubbed "prince" by his fans, but on his first appearance in round 5, he is portrayed as somewhat unfeeling and manipulative.

better characterisation is provided on alien stage's official accounts, with comics and patreon uploads. the "father" i refer to in the above imagine is referring to luka's alien owner.

[hamilando]

˚₊ 𖤓☽˚At the garden, general ? ˚₊ 𖤓☽˚.

pairing : general! max verstappen x fem reader x betrothed duke! lando norris

part : this is the first fic of the regency series

tw : set in regency era, discrimination against women, max has troubles with his dad, angst, talks about infidelity

a/n : AHHH THE SERIES FINALLY BEGINNNN, please do comment and give feedback, it’s the first time I am starting such a big project so it’s great to see feedbacks!

⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧

The sun dipped low on the horizon, casting golden rays across the blue dusty eyes of General Verstappen, his troops in tow, riding along the unpaved path that wound through the estate of Verstappen Hall. Dust stirred beneath the hooves of their horses, a lingering testament to the journey they had undertaken from the distant battlefields of the north. As they approached the grand gates of his family’s estate, a swell of emotion surged within him, battling the exhaustion that clung to his bones.

“Home at last,” he murmured, his voice thick with the weight of longing. He felt the familiar pull of nostalgia as memories of his childhood flooded back—sunlight filtering through the ancient oaks, laughter ringing out during summer picnics when his sister would cry seeing the broken flowers and the scent of blooming roses wafting from the gardens which he once tried sneaking for his childhood love.

As they rode through the arched gates, Max’s heart raced with anticipation. He could see the sprawling façade of Verstappen Hall in the distance. The estate was a symbol of their family’s legacy, one that had served the monarchy for generations. His grandfather was a first lineage general, breaking the tradition of goldsmiths of the Verstappen lineage. Jos Verstappen, Max’s father followed his own father’s footsteps, currently serving as the military advisor to the King while his own son, Max Verstappen served as young and budding general, retuning after a successful campaign in the north.

As they dismounted, the stable hands rushed forward, eager to tend to the horses. Max took a moment to collect himself, smoothing the creases in his coat before stepping toward the grand entrance. The sound of his boots echoing against the marble floor felt foreign yet comforting.

The door swung open, and a rush of warmth enveloped him. There, standing in the entryway, was his mother, Lady Verstappen. Her eyes, a striking shade of blue that mirrored his own, widened in disbelief. She rushed forward, her arms outstretched, and Max felt the weight of the world lift as he embraced her.

“Max! My champion!” she exclaimed, her voice trembling with joy. “You are home! Oh, how I have prayed for your safe return!”

“Mother,” he replied, his voice thick with emotion. “It is good to be home.”

She pulled back to examine him, her hands resting on his shoulders, her eyes taking in the changes in the boy she raised, the unkept hair, the gruff stubble, the cracked hands, all signs of the hardships her son endured to be the best, “You have changed so much. The war has taken its toll on you, hasn’t it?” He offered a wry smile, attempting to mask the scars that lay beneath the surface. “It has, but I am here now. That is what matters most.”

As they stepped inside, the warmth of the hearth welcomed him, the familiar scent of woodsmoke and roasting meat filling the air. The flickering light of the candles cast a soft glow across the room.

His father, General Verstappen, emerged from the adjoining room, his expression a blend of pride and strictness, not allowing himself to fully grasp his happiness and relief of his son returning home, “Emilian, I see that you have returned!” His father’s voice boomed as he crossed the room, gripping his son’s arms firmly.

Max stood still, feeling the weight of expectation settle upon him. His doings always fell short, perhaps if he had endured a few more scars, his father would have said the words he longed to hear. Before Max could respond, the door swung open again, and his younger sister, Victoria, rushed in, her cheeks flushed with excitement. “Maxie! You’re home!” she cried, throwing her arms around him. “I missed you so much!”

“I missed you too, Vic,” he said, chuckling as he lifted her off the ground. “You’ve grown since I last saw you.”

“I have!” she beamed, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “But I have so much to tell you! There’s been talk of the Regency, and—”

“Victoria Jane!” Lady Margaret interjected gently, a note of playfulness in her tone. “Your brother has just returned from war. Let him catch his breath first.”

Max chuckled softly, grateful for his sister’s outburst. “It is quite all right, Mother. I would love to hear all about the Regency.”

Victoria’s eyes lit up. “There will be a grand ball! All the lords and ladies of the court will be in attendance. I heard that the Prince will even make an appearance!”

Max’s heart sank slightly at the thought. The ball promised a night of celebration, yet it also signified the expectations that would soon weigh upon him. He had always felt the pressure to uphold the family’s reputation, and now, with his return from war, it seemed that burden would only grow heavier.

“Indeed,” General Verstappen said, his voice grave. “And it would be proper for you to attend, Emilian . The King will expect to see you there, representing our family.”

Max hesitated, glancing at his mother, whose expression was one of keen interest. “Mother, I—”

“Yet, you are a Verstappen ,” General Verstappen stated firmly. “You must show strength and resilience. The Regency will provide an opportunity to showcase your valour and to remind the kingdom of your service. I don’t remember my son being a coward, seeking his mother for moments to shed his tears or express his tiredness.”

“Very well,” max said finally, a hint of resignation in his voice. “If it is what is expected of me, I shall attend.”

Victoria clapped her hands, her excitement palpable. “Oh, it will be wonderful! You will look so dashing in your uniform! Everyone will be so proud of you!”

As the evening wore on, the family shared stories and laughter, yet Max found himself retreating into his thoughts. The hearth crackled with warmth, but his heart felt heavy. He gazed out the window, watching as the last rays of sunlight faded into twilight, and shadows danced across the estate.

“Maxie?” Vic’s voice broke through his reverie. “Are you all right?”

He turned to her, forcing a smile. “Yes, Vic. Just lost in thought, I suppose.”

“Do not worry,” she said, her youthful innocence shining through. “You will see that the Regency is not so dreadful. There will be music! And dancing! And perhaps even a chance to meet a lovely lady.”

Max chuckled, a genuine smile breaking through the mask he had worn. “Ah, a lovely lady, you say? And who do you propose I dance with, sister? Maybe you have someone in mind for who shall be your sister-in-law ?”

“Anyone, really! You are a hero, and the ladies will flock to you!” Victoria laughed, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “You cannot hide from your duty forever. I need to be aunt before I turn 18 !” Max just started at her in disbelief, a little smile creeping in his face, while his sister tried to control her laughter, the thought of being an aunt consuming her.

As the fire crackled and the family continued their joyous reunion, Max felt a flicker of hope igniting within him. Perhaps the Regency would provide a distraction, a moment to breathe away from the memories that haunted him. He resolved to put aside his burdens, if only for a night. As laughter and stories filled the air, Max realised that perhaps he could embrace both his past and his future. He would return to the battlefield of society, prepared to navigate the complexities of life beyond the conflict and as the night wore on, a sense of hope blossomed within him, mingling with the flickering shadows of the hearth.

The days passed in a languid rhythm, the golden sun rising and setting like a well-rehearsed actor on the stage of life. Max sat in his chambers, a cup of tea cradled in his hands, the fine china clinking softly as he rested it on the delicate lace tablecloth. Reading the newspaper was a rare leisure he allowed himself, awaiting the royal decree for his next campaign, till then he shall enjoy his mother’s and sister’s frugal attempts to get max to give them a child to fawn upon.

“Max, you must come and help us!” The voice of his sister, broke through the tranquil moment, her brow furrowed in distress as she swept into the room. She was a whirlwind of energy, her pale blue gown swirling around her like a stormy sea, the fabric catching the light with each hurried step. Max could see the servants rushing behind her, holding crates of gowns, each one customised to enhance Victoria’s aspect of getting a better suitor.

“Vic, what can possibly be so urgent that it requires my assistance on this fine day?” Max replied, a teasing smile playing on his lips. He leaned back in his chair, his eyes crinkling as he saw his sister pace around the room. He very well knew that Victoria wanted him to choose the gowns and hand gloves, one which can possible capture a young suitor. A feeling of jealousy passed over him, the thought of another man touching his little Vic, unsettling.

Vicotria stopped, hands on her hips, her eyes flashing with determination. “Mother is in quite the state, and we must finalize the arrangements for the regency ball. It is a matter of great importance, and I cannot manage it all by myself!”

“Indeed, the ball,” Max mused, feigning a yawn. “Surely, the entire ton shall be there, adorned in their finest silks, all in a frenzy over the latest gossip.”

“Oh, Maxie, must you be so insufferably lazy?” Vic huffed, her patience wearing thin. “It is not merely gossip, but our family’s reputation at stake! If we do not present ourselves well, how shall the world see us? Not only that, I am 17! It’s my debutante, you very well know how much influence you have on my suitors, if I go unselected, the prospects of me getting a good family is-”

At that moment, their mother, entered the room, her expression grave as she surveyed her children. “Victoria, my dear, do keep your voice down,” she chided gently, though her eyes glimmered with the same urgency. “And Max, you must not lounge about like a lazy lord. You are a general, after all. Your sister is correct, the suitors will want Victoria after they sense that her brother is general favoured by the King.”

Max raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Mother, I assure you, a general requires his moments of laziness. Vic is just 17, she has a good 5 years before her regency goes to waste. I assure you she will make you a grandmother before I do so."

Victoria just looked with disbelief at her brother, unshed tears swimming in her eyes, before rushing out of the room, throwing away the pearls and fine gloves she adorned, clearly saddened by her brother’s lack of interest. “You do not understand a lady’s debut Max,” Lady Verstappen insisted, her tone firm. “You must understand that with your rank comes responsibility. In a society like ours, a girl’s only way of serving is through her husband or through becoming a scholar. You know your father, he never let Victoria touch a book, if she doesn’t get a good suitor, her life may as well be sealed. Your presence at the ball is essential.”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair, the golden strands catching the light. “Very well, I shall grace the event with my presence. But I cannot promise to enjoy it.”

“Enjoy it or not, you will participate,” Lady Verstappen said, a hint of triumph in her voice. “We shall need you to engage with the other gentlemen, to show our family's strength, if not for enjoyment, for Victoria at least.”

On the eve of the ball, the household bustled with activity. Max stood at the window of his chamber, gazing out at the twinkling lights strung throughout the gardens. The moon hung high, casting a silvery glow over the estate, illuminating the faces of the servants as they hurried about their tasks. His mother was busy with preparing Victoria for her debut while his father was going through the prospects of her future husband, a list already drawn of who shall Victoria interact with and who shall be tossed.

The grand ballroom of the Regency shimmered like a jewel under the light of dozens of crystal chandeliers, each facet reflecting the laughter and chatter of the evening’s revelry. The air was thick with the mingling scents of roses and lilacs, their perfumed elegance wafting through the expanse of polished marble floors. Men in uniforms and diamond struck tailored clothes and ladies in flowing gowns moved gracefully, their figures swirling like the very music that filled the air, a delicate waltz playing softly in the background.

Victoria, radiant in a gown of soft lavender silk, glided across the dance floor, her laughter a sweet melody that mingled with the music. Her light hair was adorned with pearls, and the sparkle in her eyes shone brighter than any diamond.

“Look at her, Max,” Lady Verstappen said, her proud gaze fixed on her daughter. “Is she not the most beautiful creature in the room?”

Max nodded, taking a sip of his drink, a deep, rich claret that did little to quell the apprehension brewing in his chest. “Indeed, Mother. She is lovely,” he replied, his voice low and steady, betraying none of the concern that gnawed at him. “But I wonder if this attention is all it seems to be, she is still so very young.”

“Let her enjoy herself,” his mother urged gently. “You were young once too, my son.”

Max chuckled dryly, his gaze unwavering as he watched Vic twirl, her laughter ringing out like a bell. “I was, but I was not in the company of fortune seekers.”

As the music swelled, Max felt a presence beside him. He turned to see a lady standing there, her gown a deep emerald that accentuated her striking features. Her hair, a cascade of golden curls, framed her face beautifully. She regarded him with a keen, searching gaze.

“General Verstappen, I presume?” she said, her voice smooth and melodic.

He straightened slightly, taken aback by her directness. “Yes, that is correct. And you are?”

“A lady who was told by her betrothed to not to talk to men ” she replied, extending her gloved hand. “I could not help but notice you standing alone while your sister dances. I thought it rather uncharacteristic of a man of your standing.”

Max took her hand briefly, feeling the warmth of her palm. “I prefer to observe. The world of balls and dances has never been one I enjoy indulging in.” Max turned his attention to the lady, a brief smirk on his face, “And where shall be this protective betrothed of yours? I must say he won’t be pleasant after watching you talk to me while I caress your silk clothed hand.”

“He must be somewhere, a political alliance waiting to be signed”

“Were you also one of the political papers signed?”

The lady let out a soft laugh, her eyes crinkling, “ General you do have a good sense of humour but I must say the truth lies in what you speak.”

“But isn’t that what you want? A lady wants? Protection, title, a suitor worth riches ?”

The smile disappeared on the lady’s face, her jaw clenching, “Not all of us have the liberty to choose what we dream of General, why are you here? If you are so disinterested in finding a lady who wants your title and riches.”

“To protect her,” he replied, his fingers pointing towards her sister . “The world can be a dangerous place, and I’ve sworn an oath to keep her safe.”

The corners of her mouth turned down slightly, “And yet, she must carve her own path, even if it includes the occasional misstep. Is it not our duty to allow them to grow?”

“Not when those missteps could lead to heartbreak or ruin,” he countered, his voice firm. “You do not understand.”

“Perhaps I do,” she said, her tone shifting to one of anger. “But perhaps you underestimate the strength of your sister, or a lady perhaps. She is not a porcelain doll to be kept on a shelf, General.”

Max and the lady were just staring at each other’s eyes, the blue ones seeking the motive behind the brown ones while the brown ones deceptions anger, of being misunderstood yet once again by men.

“Am I interrupting something?” Victoria softly said, trying to see through the intense stare between his brother and the mysterious lady.

“Your brother and I were just having a delightful conversation,” The lady said, her smile not doing justice to hide her anger. “ I am afraid I must take my leave, lovely meeting you Lady Victoria, General.” The lady just bowed and left, her anger causing Max’s heart to stir, wondering where did he go wrong? Was offering a lady protection through title really that bad ?

Victoria just raised her eyes, looking curiously at her brother, “Did you just engage or rather should I say fight with the future Duchess of Belmore ?”

“Duchess of Belmore ?”

“She is Lady Y/N Cecil, betrothed to Duke Norris of Belmore, they are the most powerful regent couple if you may presume.”

“The Cecil household is related to the monarchy, the Lady of the household is the cousin of the King, then why do they need the Norris household ?”

Victoria just sighed, patting her brother’s shoulder “It’s not Y/N who wants it, It’s the Cecil in her name who wants the marriage, she has never even met Lando, yet look at the those two, acting like lovebirds, Lando gets a pretty face, the Norris household gets a monarchy relation and well the Cecil household gets more power, a good alliance right?”

Max glanced at where Vic was pointing, the lady who he was talking to was now in the embrace of the Lando, or rather Duke Norris, politely laughing on her betrothed's words while he just talked to other dukes.

“And what does Y/N get?”

“The ill fate of being born as girl.”

Max kept staring at the couple, observing every move of Lando, how his fingers were wrapped around Y/N’s waist, his beard slightly scraping her cheeks when he leaned to speak, the slight tremble in her hand when she held Lando’s hands.

Y/N looked up, interrupted by a servant offering her wine, she politely took the glass, taking a sip, the red wine going down her throat as she met the blue eyes. The eyes speaking more than words could, the blue and red in her system igniting a fire, something her betrothed couldn’t suffice, no matter how many county’s he offered or diamond crosses he decorated her with.

Max just smirked, not breaking the eyes contact, “Simply lovely that I chose to be a general Vic, but I feel this lady is going to meet me more often than I would want.”

Max would often go out of the house, much suprise to his mother and sister. He would catch glimpses of Y/N, the small smiles passed, the way her eyes would convey her messages when she was wrapped around Lando. Max would deliberately go her estate late at night, sneaking in the garden, where she would be waiting for him with a dish she had baked for him. It became a tradition, for what started as a banter, Y/N seemed to enjoy his company.

Days passed, it was silent night, Max who was now in the parlour with his tipsy friends. He leaned back in his chair, a glass of fine whiskey in hand, surrounded by his loud friends, all engaged in the light-hearted banter that followed a seductive dance given to them by the hostess, the friends howling like young lads seeing a girl’s legs for the first time.

As the dance continued, Max’s gaze drifted towards the entrance of the parlour. There she was—Lady Y/N, or rather, the figure of a man who bore an uncanny resemblance to her. Dressed in a tailored suit with a cravat that could have belonged to a dandy, she glanced around the room, her eyes darting as if seeking refuge from the spotlight.

“Excuse me, gentlemen,” Max said, interrupting the banter. He stood abruptly, his chair scraping against the floor. “I must… attend to something.”

“Max, where are you going? The game’s just getting good!”His close friend, Lord Riccardio, or Danny Ric as they called him.

Max just gave a sly eye to Danny, and made his move, his eyes locked onto the figure of Lady Y/N. He made his way through the crowd, dodging the odd glass of whiskeys and drunk lords. With determination, he approached her just as she slipped into a shadowy corner of the room.

“What are you doing here? That too dressed as a man!” he exclaimed, his voice a mix of anger and annoyance.

She turned, her eyes wide with surprise, but quickly masked it with a sly smile. “Ah, good sir! I am out for an evening stroll. How dare you follow me”

Max closed the distance between them, pinning her against the wall with a playful smirk. “A stroll is it? I’d say you’re more of a runaway bride, I wonder how would Norris react, seeing his bride pinned so seductively against me.”

Her eyes sparkled with mischief, and she raised an eyebrow. “And you’re more of a brute than I remember. What do you want, General? Are you going to arrest me for being too handsome?”

“Handsome? Is that what you call it?” Max teased, noting the exaggerated puff of her chest. “I thought you were busy being the Duchess of Belmore.”

“Ah, but one must have a little fun before being shackled to a life of estate duties and endless tea parties,” she replied with a wink. “Besides, I can’t resist a good masquerade or a man.”

Max slipped his hands to rest on her waist, the long coat she wore doing nothing to hide her petite figure of a woman, “ And what if he finds out Y/N?”

“Well this is not the first thing you are stealing away from him.” She leaned closer, her voice dropping to a whisper. “Oh, I do hope he finds out. It would make our wedding a great deal more interesting, don’t you think?”

He held her hand, before leading her away from the ally, going down to the guest abode down the ally, booking a room before leading her inside. Inside the confines of the four walls, the two of them could escape their own reality, one bound in her hand by that diamond band.

Max chuckled, plopping down on the bed. “You’re insufferable. You know that, right?”

“insuffersble and rather clever, if I do say so myself. Besides, it’s not my fault you’re so easily distracted by a pretty face,” she quipped, her eyes gleaming with challenge.

“Pretty face? You’re wearing a disguise! The only pretty thing I can make out are the eyes begging me to take them out the disguise ” he shot back.

“You take them and the next thing you know our names being plastered on the society’s disgrace board” she retorted, her confidence unwavering.

“Touché,” Max conceded.“But what’s your plan? Sneak in, make a mockery of your fiancé, and then what? Run off to join the parlour, wearing those tiny codices of clothes and rubbing against Lords?”

“Now that’s an idea! I’ve always fancied myself as a dancer,” she replied, her grin widening.

Max eyes reflected anger, or what you could say a glimpse of jealousy, “I would rather have me being bankrupt for you than seeing those naked men throw money at you. Perhaps I should rescue you from your fate and sweep you away.” Max said, his hands closing in her neck.

“Bankrupt? I will take my chances with Duke. Besides, we are just friend right ?” The words tasted bitter on her tongue, and she knew they were a lie. They both knew it.

“Just friends?” Max echoed, his brow furrowing. “Is that really what you think we are?”

She hesitated, feeling the weight of his gaze on her. “I mean… we are. We meet, we talk, we laugh. That’s friendship, isn’t it?” She tried to sound convincing, but the tremor in her voice betrayed her.

“Meet? I sneak in to see you, we talk behind the bushes so as no one catches us, is that what friends do?” Max replied, his chest heaving with the unsaid feelings.

Y/N bit her lip, her heart hammering in her chest. “I don’t want to complicate things, Max. Not now. Not with him looming over us.”

“Complicate things?” Max's eyes narrowed slightly, a mix of frustration and hurt flashing across his features. “Is that really how you feel? That what we have is just a complication? Is it about the higher title he has? The higher county’s he has?”

“No! That’s not what I mean. Max, you can be shunned if people found out you are perusing a married woman.”

“Yet to be married and I am pursuing ? Am I the one baking for myself ? Am I the only one at fault ? Last time I remembered, a kiss is not something you can just do with one person.” Max replied, getting up from the bed, the comfort long forgotten.

The anger in his voice made her ache. She wanted to reach out, to close the distance between them, but the fear of crossing that line held her back.

“What are you so afraid of?” he pressed gently, his tone softening. “You’re afraid of him, but what about us? Don’t we deserve a chance to explore this? To see where it could go?”

The temptation to confess her feelings was almost overwhelming, but the fear of the consequences stopped her. “I don’t know if I can do that, Max. I don’t want to hurt anyone, especially not him. He’s… he’s important to me too.”

Max’s jaw clenched slightly, and she could see the struggle in his eyes. “He is important? Your family attended his importance! Your family gave you away to bear his heirs.”

The walls seemed to shrink around Y/N as his words sank in, each syllable a painful reminder of her reality. “You don’t get to say that!” she shot back, her voice rising in defiance. “You don’t know what it’s like to carry that burden. It’s not just about him. It’s about my family, my duty—”

“Your duty?” he interrupted, taking a step closer to her. “What about your happiness? Your dreams? You’re just going to sacrifice everything because they expect you to? Here I am giving you an option for a life you want.”

“a life I want ?” she echoed incredulously, spinning to face him. Her voice trembled, the weight of her feelings spilling over. “And do what? Throw everything away? All for some fleeting sense of love? You don’t understand the stakes here. I’d be disowned, cast out… I’d lose everything I’ve ever known.”

Max took a deep breath, his frustration palpable. “So you’d rather live a lie? Is that what you want? To be miserable for the rest of your life just because it’s what they want? To bear his heirs, to be a pawn in their game? To throw this unnamed feelings?” His voice broke slightly, and Y/N could hear the pain behind his anger.

it all became too much. The weight of his words, the intensity of the moment, the raging storm inside her—it spiraled into a whirlpool of emotions that she couldn’t contain. With a swift movement, she brought her hand up and slapped Max across the face, the sound echoing in the stillness of the room.

“There’s nothing between us, Max!” she shouted, her voice breaking again, but this time with a mix of anguish and rage. “It was a mistake! It was all a mistake! I should have never approached you at the ball!”

“Why can’t you just trust me?” he replied back, desperation creeping into his voice. “Why can’t you see that I’m not going anywhere? I want to be here for you. I want to fight for us.”

“Fight for us?” Y/N repeated. “What is ‘us’ even supposed to be? A series of stolen moments in the shadows? A relationship built on your fantasies while I drown in my reality?”

The words fell from her lips, a final confession, a desperate attempt to sever the ties that bound them. She turned away, unable to face the pain in his eyes, the anger and sorrow that mirrored her own.

Then why can’t you let it go?” he asked, his voice strained, barely above a whisper. “Why does it still hurt you?”

“Because it matters!” she snapped, her anger flaring again. “It matters too much! And I can’t keep pretending that it doesn’t!”

Then stop pretending!” he urged, stepping closer again, his presence overwhelming. “Stop pretending you don’t want this, Y/N. Stop pretending you don’t want me!”

“Want you?” she laughed bitterly, shaking her head. “I want to want you! But it’s not that simple! This isn’t a game, and I’m not a pawn you can move around!”

Max had enough, he just pulled back, running a hand through his sweat-stricken hair, leaving her alone in the ally, before turning for the last time “ I loved you, Y/N. I am ready to fight Norris, just say it now, just say yes and I will leave my title, my everything to be with you.”

Y/N held back her tears, a small ‘no’ escaping her lips. She saw Max turn around and leave, her knees finally giving out and the sobs the she held back for long flowing freely.

The preponed wedding of the Duke and Duchess of Belmore caused the buzz in the society. The grand drawing room of the estate was abuzz with laughter and chatter, the air thick with the scent of blooming roses and freshly poured champagne. Yet, in the midst of this joyous celebration lay a heart torn. Y/N stood at the center of it all, adorned in a gown of ivory lace that flowed gracefully down to the polished wooden floor. Her eyes sparkled with delight, but deep inside, a storm brewed, threatening to engulf her.

As Y/N caught sight of Max across the room, her heart raced. He looked dashing, clad in a tailored suit that accentuated his tall frame, yet his expression was stormy. A mix of anger and disbelief played across his features, and the moment their eyes locked, a silent understanding passed between them.

“Max,” Y/N whispered, stepping away from the gathering. She felt an invisible pull towards him, her heart aching for the man she once thought she would spend her life with.

But before she could reach him, Max turned his back, his shoulders tense. “I can’t do this,” he muttered, his voice barely audible over the music of the party.

Y/N felt her heart torn, seeing the man she loved standing right in front of her, seeing her get married. She was led inside in a room, told to wait for the ceremony to begin.

“So this is it then? You’re just going to go through with it?” Y/N’s head snapped back at the voice she would recognise even in her dreams.

Y/N felt her heart shatter as she realized the truth. “I don’t want to lose you, but I can’t fight this battle. It’s already been decided for me.”

Max stepped back, his expression darkening. “Then there’s nothing more to say,” he said coldly, the warmth in his voice replaced by a chilling distance.

“Max, please…” she pleaded, reaching out for him, but he pulled away, the space between them growing wider.

“What do you want me to do? Wait for you my whole life while you put on a show as a duchess? I can’t do it anymore. I gave you chance, you just had to say a yes. Goodbye, Y/N,” he said, his voice distant and filled with sorrow. With that, he turned and walked away, leaving her standing alone in the room, the silence in the room suffocating her.

Max was sitting with his family at the chapel when the groom arrived. The music began again, signaling the entrance of the bride. But there was no bride—only an empty doorway waiting for someone to walk through. The commotion erupted, with the Norris family demanding answers while the Cecils sent their guards to apprehend their unfilial daughter. The guests were equally shocked, absorbing the chaos around them. Max was utterly confused as well when he felt someone slip something into his coat pocket. He looked around in confusion before opening the note, a slight smirk forming on his face as he read the note.

“Meet me at the same garden, General Verstappen?”

let me know if you want to be added or removed to the tg!

permanent tg: @isotopemylove @chair-things @justaf1girl @nichmeddar @bibblemiluvr @blushmimi @nikfigueiredo @amz824 @ivegotparticulartaste @raizelchrysanderoctavius @freyathehuntress

series tg: @dark-night-sky-99 @slutforaz @bloomcobie @linnygirl09 @charlesgirl16

[bengiyo]

Ben's Big BL Blurb 4: I Hope I See Jay Sorathon Again

New year, new blurb. Time to reflect on a few shows finishing, talk about some new shows, and see where we're at in January.

Haunted Hearts Sucked

Final Verdict: 5.5, Not Recommended. Y'all don't need to watch this weird mess of a show. Despite joking about "devirginizing" its lead multiple times, it was so chaste in the end. It also did some weird world shenanigans I was not feeling. The leads are supposed to be in another Oxin Films project soon, so we'll see if they're better there.

Caged Again Flopped

Final Verdict: 6, Recommended Only For Jay Sorathon. This one really hurts me, because I genuinely loved the first half of this show. Jay Sorathon as Junior was one of the most refreshing experiences I've had in a while. This young actor is charming in a way that felt different, and I found myself enjoying every scene he was in because he could deliver what he was asked to do. However, the show generally failed to do much with most of its themes, and I think it was a real waste of Nokia and Jaonine as a pair. There were interesting themes about how Junior and Sun wanted different things out of their relationship that didn't get resolved, so all of their skinship felt disconnected from the big themes they were teasing out.

I am sad that I cannot really recommend this as a complete viewing experience, but I do not want that to detract from how much I enjoyed the entire cast's chemistry. I just cannot pretend that this show didn't peak at the gif used above before floundering completely.

An Apology to City of Stars

Final Verdict: 8, Recommended. I skipped this show originally because I was overloaded and unmoved by the first episode. However, this show was actually one of the most consistent narratives we've had about the consequences of fan culture, sponsorship, and commercialization of queer actors we've had this year. Unlike Only Boo!, this show inflicted real consequences on Feuang for coming out to the point that he essentially had to change careers (which happens to real actors all the time, going back as far or further than William Haines).

The leads also kept having sex after getting together! A novel experience! I loved that Krom had almost no swag, and Feuang fell for him entire on family photos and his mom gushing over him. He really won as a tech worker. Watch this if you're interested in seeing a show with clear ideas about the entertainment industry and are willing to deal with some weak acting.

Our Youth Left Me A Bit Wanting

Final Verdict 8: Recommended With Reservations. I wrote my write up for this already, and will say here that I like parts of this show a lot even though I wasn't fully satisfied by the viewing experience.

See Your Love Got All The Important Things Right

Final Verdict: 8, Recommended for the Mains. I will admit that I didn't much care for the side couple, but I loved Shaopeng and Sean's relationship. I loved that this wasn't a story about fixing someone's hearing so they could be in a romance. I also love that one of our final scenes in Shaopeng's dad telling Sean's dad to go fuck himself. The leads reminded me of Jimmy and Tommy from Why R U and I loved their work together.

Love in the Air Koi Was a Genuine Delight

Final Verdict: 9, Highly Recommended. I liked it a lot. I think new and old fans will be able to enjoy it. I have high hopes about cross-cultural adaptations as a result.

Love is Like a Poison Was Spectacular

Final Verdict: 9.5, Highly Recommended. I had so much fun with this show. I love that this show blended multiple genres together, and I loved that Shiba was always in a legal drama. By blending this together this way, the show supports the idea that the different ways we love and see the world are not incompatible in relationships. Shiba and Haruto are one of the best couples we had this past year, because they each made the other better, and they each add something to their relationship. Also, this show was actively horny the entire time. Run, do not walk, to support this show (if you can) on Netflix.

Fragrance You Inherit Was The One of the Kindest Shows I've Ever Seen

Final Verdict: 9.5, Highly Recommended. Thanks to the constant efforts of @isaksbestpillow we were able to enjoy this incredible show. @twig-tea already wrote a great review. I will be thinking about Sakura and Touki for years. I will just add that I really loved that Hoshii was just a goofy dude that loved the women in his home. He respected both of them, and was just so happy to be included in their shenanigans. I cannot overstate how much the episode where we met him properly kicked this show into overdrive for me. I loved that he was a good dad and husband and that it was clear his wife and daughter felt safe and happy around him. I loved that this show was about kind people doing their best.

Okay, on to the currently airing stuff.

Your Sky is Faltering, but I Still Like It (8/12)

Look, I am just not keen on the Oh redemption arc. I'm also feeling the show dragging its feet at this point. I also am not sure what the relationship between the various sides are contributing to this story. That being said, I continue to enjoy the chemistry between the leads, and I am looking forward to seeing their dating era. This show has been riding the line on the bubble, and I am curious to see where it lands.

Ossan's Love Thailand (1/12)

I've grown to love Ossan's Love over the last year, and so I was cautiously optimistic about this adaptation. I don't think the humor is as tight or zippy as I would expect, and I think the branded pair component is hurting some of the initial setup. I also feel like the shower scene shifted in a way that doesn't entirely work. In addition, making Kongdetch a widower slows down his dramatic development. I'll check in again next month.

Call Me By No Name Started Weird (1/8)

gif by @my-rose-tinted-glasses

This show got off to a moody and somewhat intriguing start. I am looking forward to our little gamer's interactions with this possibly-fey creature for the coming weeks. It's difficult when the show starts coy.

When It Rains It Pours Has an Uphill Battle (1/7)

I am personally interested in the journey this show wants to go on as what will more than likely be a double cheating narrative. I like that the show started with boy guys in relationships they feel a bit frustrated with due to a lack of intimacy that is being actively ignored by their respective partners. I'm also intrigued because both partners seem like they're overall committed to our leads. This one started off in a mild note, so I'm curious how it holds audience attention. Still, both leads had sad masturbation scenes, one explicitly remembering when his partner used to fuck him, so it has my attention.

That's all for now! I'll check back in with one of these in a few weeks and we'll see where we're at.

[graysongoal]

I agree that it's frustrating that this is what people are focused on. Because it isn't just YouTubers - and it's not just big names.

I'm a queer, trans, and disabled sex educator. I lose money every year doing this work - to the point where, once affiliate links stopped paying out that much, I had to put nearly all that work - including original research - on the backburner.

Part of this is because, if people had the Honey extension in their browser, Honey would negate my affiliate links. I went from getting a few hundred bucks every couple of months - enough to help cover my website hosting fees and pay bills associated with this work - to getting literally nothing over the last year plus.

Alongside other factors, Honey pushed people out of their passion projects and away from being able to focus on work that made the world a better place.

That's what we should be talking about.

ngl i dont give a fuck about Honey screwing big youtubers out of money via referral codes selling flat tummy gummy vitamins and scammy betterhelp therapy and fake plots of land in scotland and shit

[highesthealer]

ENHYPEN 2025

the new theme is based on astrology

I LOVE IT WHEN YOU…

part 1

Lee Hee-seung

I love it when you create harmony around us

Heeseung appreciates sophistication and aesthetic taste. He likes a partner who cares about their appearance and knows how to maintain interesting conversations. He is hooked by attention to detail and the ability to resolve conflicts calmly. Favorite moments are romantic gestures, candlelit dinners or joint discussions of art and music.

Jay Park

I love it when you take care of me and show stability

Jay is looking for a partner who can be faithful and predictable. He is hooked by cozy evenings at home, delicious food and sincere words. He loves moments when a partner shows warmth through touch or gestures, such as cooking something for him.

Jake Sim

I love it when you make me feel the depth of our emotions

Jake is looking for a sincere, passionate partner who is capable of a deep connection. He is attracted to mystery, attention to his inner world and the ability to be sincere in words and actions. Favorite moments are nightly conversations filled with meaning, or time spent alone.

Park Sung-hoon

I love it when you inspire me and share my dreams

Sunghoon values ​​freedom and a fun partner who will support his sense of adventure. He is hooked when a person is passionate about something and loves to learn new things. Favorite moments are traveling, unexpected surprises, or talking about big plans for the future.

Kim Sun-woo

I love it when you make me your home

Sunoo is drawn to a partner who is caring, gentle, and willing to share their emotions. He is drawn to moments when a partner shows genuine attention, such as asking how their day was or doing something small to cheer them up. Favorite moments include hugs, watching movies together, or walking in the rain.

Yang Jung-won

I love it when you inspire me to be myself

Jungwon values ​​uniqueness and independence in a partner. He is captivated by moments when a person shares their unusual ideas or sincerely supports his creativity. Favorite moments are conversations about the future, joint creative projects, or an evening full of laughter and spontaneity.

Nishimura Riki

I love it when you have fun with me

Ni-Ki is attracted to bright, energetic people who are ready to share his love of fun and adventure. He is hooked when his partner is ready to be spontaneous, for example, suggesting a new hobby or going to an unexpected place. Favorite moments are shared jokes, active games or bright, memorable evenings.

[the-100-days-of-junkan]

Day 100

One hundred fuckin’ days. God. Actually happened. 

I spent 3/4ths of the year drawing more Junkan art than I think anyone else on the internet ever has. Which might be presumptuous of me, maybe i’m just looking in the wrong places y’know? I’m a solid second place bare minimum.

And like, that’s still pretty funny right? This whole event is something I’m gonna cherish forever, the memories, the art itself, the friends I made because of it. But like, c’mon. I drew 100 fucking pieces, learned new skills like digital painting, animation, all that shit, for a ship that I used to hate, and a ship that for the longest time I thought was gonna get me fuckin banished to the deepest depths of the internet just for drawing a poor sketch of them kissing. This ship has become more deeply entwined into who I am as a person that it’s passed up Tokomaru, the ship that literally made me realize I’m a woman.

It’s gotta be at least a little funny, right?

Ah but enough of that, I can talk more on that subject a bit later. For now I reckon I should focus on our art piece for today! Wouldn’t you agree?

Yeah it’s the Wedding. I’d say even before Day 60 I decided the final pic of the Project would be The Wedding, even before I decided to draw a comic of the proposal. Because like, c’mon, it’s basic but how the fuck else was I supposed to end of the project? With something that ISN’T a wedding????

And very shocking to hear after this entire project has gone by, but I did in fact scale back this pic massively. You wanna know what the original idea was?? 22 images, each one depicting different parts of the wedding and afterparty, including the kiss at the end. And the kiss at the end? I was gonna feature every character from the 3 main classes + Ruruka, Seiko, and Yasuke. Fucking why??? Because Excess is all I know people ITS ALL I KNOW.

However I had decided that I wanted this project finished and ready before October, because I wanted to do the Vampire Fic to coincide with Day 30. And again, say it with me here, “Jem was severely burnt out on the project!” 

So it went from 22 images, to “However many I can get done in time + the big group shot” and then that became “Just the big group shot,” and then finally, i cracked and just drew The Kiss. 

Speaking of which before I divulge some more info about the original plan, i’ll get all the fun things about the actual art I did go through with.

As you can tell I shaded this differently from anything in the project. I normally have two different ways of shading art, I don’t think these are the proper words but I call them Soft Shading and Hard Shading. If you need immediate examples, Day 95 was Soft Shaded, and Day 94 was Hard Shaded. Generally speaking I prefer to do Hard Shading, as I think it works better with the rest of my style, and also just looks better in general. Soft Shading is what I do for pics with like, a very specific tone and energy to them that I can’t really put to words. It’s also significantly easier to do compared to Hard Shading. 

A few months back for a commission of Kaede and Marceline from Adventure Time hanging out (yes this is relevant) I was trying to capture a very specific aesthetic that I’m obsessed with called Frutiger Aero. This mostly was in the background, however when lighting the pic I needed a very specific aesthetic that I didn’t know how to capture with just one of my shading styles. So . . . I fuckin did both. And in my opinion (which is crazy because this requires I compliment myself) it looked fuckin great. That said it was significantly harder.

I think I’ve done it only one other time after this, but I don’t remember what the pic was if it exists at all. But obviously as you can see, I decided that to really commemorate the occasion I’d go all out and do both shading styles again. It was very worth it, but fun fact! Doing this style on Roses is a fucking pain in the ass and if I ever have to do it again I will fucking SCREAM!

Anyway, the pic was definitely a lot harder to work on because of that stylistic choice, but the end result makes up for it by a massive margin. 

Hope ya’ll like the dresses because they were the hardest part of this! Fun fact, Val (She’s back!) did a chapter for her legendary Year of Love and Despair fic where the gals are in wedding dresses. And the designs she came up with are amazing! I still really wanna draw em when I get a chance! However! I woulda felt bad if I just yoinked em for this, so I had to do everything in my power to come up with completely different designs. And given that I am a perfectionist, that was significantly more difficult than it probably shoulda been. But I did it! I really like how Mikan’s dress turned out specifically, I thought giving her a fit that covered up more skin than a normal wedding dress would be fitting for her. Also I really like drawing Mikan’s hair in a bun, I never had a chance to say that so I’mma say that now. 

Wow fuck I just realized there’s probably a lot of random details or thought processes I have on this ship that I just never got an opportunity to talk about, either because I had a different topic to cover on previous posts, or I just forgot, or I just didn’t have a good segway! Crazy right? 

Also yes! Shading Junko’s hair was heavenly~

Okay i’ve run out of words on the art. Time to tell you about everything I cut! Now I’m sad to say but no, I didn’t actually cut 22 planned images. I never got far enough to actually figure out each individual pic. Only a small handful, which I almost speedily sketched out for this post, but I don’t have it in me, especially on my current schedule. So i’ll just do my best to describe what I had in mind!

First piece would have been Mukuro being on Security for the Wedding, because of course. She would have also enlisted the help of Mondo and his entire gang, because that combination in this context sounds funny. Don’t worry though they were well behaved.

Ruruka was gonna handle the Wedding Cake, with Teruteru on the rest of the food. Either Ruruka or Mukuro would have been giving him a death glare during the process of course.

Behind the scenes Mikan would be getting prepped for the Wedding. And by prepped I mean Seiko, Ibuki, and Sayaka would be trying very hard to keep Mikan from crying as a result of how happy and overwhelmed she is (Ruining her makeup). Seiko trying to blow air into her eyes to keep them dry while Sayaka and Ibuki desperately try to find an outlet to plug in a hairdryer in because that would be significantly more efficient.

On the reverse, Junko would be doing all of the work on prepping herself for the wedding, with Ruruka, Yasuke and Tsumugi standing in the background, questioning why they’re even there. Junko would yell at them that they’re morale support in this instance. 

Warriors of Hope would of course be there being scamps of course, Kotoko would be the Flower Girl because I play favorites. Toko and Komaru would probably be there trying to keep them in line.

I didn’t have anything in mind with the afterparty but I more than likely would have drawn the drunkest Junko I possibly could. Maybe even Mikan too!

For the Bouquet Throwing I was gonna have Syo jumping at it like a feral animal, and thinking about it now I’d probably also have Tenko jumping for it with killing intent in her eyes.  

And I think that’s it for ideas I had prior to cutting them. Which means it’s time for me to get sappy about the fact that the project is finally ending! Fuck! Usually when I write these I try to have a decent idea ahead of time of what I’m gonna fucking say, this time however I’m just gonna talk, and i’m gonna keep talking until I’m either struck down by nature or I run out of things to say. Sorry! 

This is going to get silly, sappy, and maybe even a little venty, jump in at your own risk. 

If you told me at the beginning of 2024 that I was going to draw 100 days worth of Junkan related art, including a gif and a music video, 2 comics, and also get back into writing to make gay fanfic, I’d be so god damn confused. Because what the fuck right? And that’s not even counting everything I drew AFTER I fuckin finished! Like hold on a minute i’m gonna count up how many times i’ve drawn these two, including the individual comic pages from the three i’ve made.

204.

Fucking, I. I didn’t even know we passed 200 by this point. 

And that’s not counting the sketches I’ve drawn on paper in my sketchbook. It’s also not counting unfinished pics. It ain’t counting the art I might draw WHILE writing this! It’s not counting the stuff I probably forgot about while searching my files cause I suck at naming the aforementioned files!

AND I’M STILL NOT BURNED OUT EITHER?

I got burned out on the project sure but the moment I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted I fucking IMMEDIATELY drew a Junkan pic for Halloween. And then I kept going, and then I didn’t fucking stop, and I don’t think I CAN stop! I don’t even WANT to stop but you’d think by now I’d be like “Well I don’t have any ideas right now-” NO I HAVE TOO FUCKING MANY IDEAS! I KEEP FUCKING THINKING OF MORE IDEAS, AND THEN I COME UP WITH AN AU AND THAT COULD HAVE LIKE 10,000 MORE IDEAS. JUNKAN IS A MENTAL HYDRA YOU DRAW ONE PIC 2 MORE POP UP IN ITS PLACE!

I can draw these pieces in like a few hours if not shorter, because I don’t have to fucking sketch them properly anymore. I feel like I shouldn’t be able to do that! This ship has done unspeakable things to both my mind and body! And i’ve said it before but i’m not trying to complain here, as you’ll see when I start talking about this ship like it saved me from falling into the grand canyon. But it’s just, so, absurd???

Danganronpa is only like my third favorite piece of media behind Bo-bobo and Fairy Tail and yet I’ve drawn more art of JUST THIS SHIP than I have of just general art of those series! That’s not even counting all the other ship art I’ve done! Like Tokomaru! Remember Tokomaru? The ship that is responsible for me being a woman and being able to find the happiness of being my true self? I think i’ve drawn that and Syomaru a combined like, 20 times across my entire life as a DR fan. ALL OF THIS JUNKAN ART SAY FOR LIKE, 5 OF THEM WERE IN ONE YEAR. 

And bare minimum for 2025, assuming I don’t make ANYTHING ELSE OF THEM (Which I will. You know I will.) I’m gonna draw 21 pics for Junkan Week, because you know I’m gonna just draw EVERY prompt from all three lists. And then 30 more for the Month of Junkan (Will try to have that prompt list up soon btw!). So that’s 51 I’m going to do. That’s over half of what I realistically was supposed to do bare minimum for this project. That’s so fucking much, and I’m gonna do it, because I love this ship, and also it sounds REALLY funny if I did that. 

I think genuinely the only other ships I could fucking do this for are like, Toko/Syomaru or Flarelu. Maybe Togachako if I did a reread of MHA to get me back in the spirit for that series. And even then i’m not sure I physically have it in me to go that distance even for those ships. I certainly want to draw a lot of them, especially Flarelu because that’s a ship so rare that it makes Soft Junkan (before I fucking flooded the tag on tumblr) look like a bustling city.

Speaking of tags, I still think about sometimes how like, the Junkan Tag maybe got like, a post like, a few times every month. The normal amount for a ship of this general Rarity. And now it’s like, for so many pages, just half of it is me. Because I was asked to bring something to eat to the function for the buffet table and I fucking crashed a Food Truck through the wall. I feel bad about it sometimes, sometimes. I’m imagining the scenario in my head where someone who likes Junkan but didn’t check the tag super often because it wasn’t like, a super commonly updated one, and then pressing it for the first time in a year and being like “What the fuck happened here?” You know what still shocks me? Not once have I gotten hate for any of this. I was so fucking scared for like half of this projects creation that I was going to get bombarded with people angry at me for shipping this, and NOTHING. I’m not complaining I’m just confused. I have to at least have had a few people block me right? It’s just so eerily quiet. And it’d be one thing if it’s just a thing of like “Why would people who hate Junkan check the Junkan tag” because yeah, that makes sense. But also I’ve been putting at least one Junkan pic in both characters tags every day for 3 fucking months, there had to be at least one Mikan super fan who is eternally fed up with my antics. Like, awesome that I didn’t get harassed over a ship, that actually gives me a little hope that nature is healing, just. Crazy right???

So like. Fuck.

I guess I’ll get to the sappy shit now?? I think I ran out of things to be confused about in terms of what I did this year because of this ship. So I guess I’ll just start talking about how much it means to me, both the ship, and this project. 

(trigger warning, mentions of abuse, nothing super graphic in my opinion but could be mildly uncomfortable. Either skim ahead or stop here)

2024 kinda, fuckin sucked for me to be honest?? I have like 2 good things I can speak for it in terms of major positive points (Obviously I had other good experiences but if I just said “Oh I read a I Love Amy and it was one of the greatest things ever” it lacks the same impact). Not counting getting this project to like, work, obviously.

I finished the 5 chapters of my webcomic that I wanted prepped so I could actually make a website and start posting (ignore how I didn’t make the fuckin website yet). And I started dating my darling Yves and Rivette. Who I cherish deeply. I made other friends this year, a lot of them in part cause of this ship. And I went through a lot of emotional change. 

But to get that change it required I unpack a lot. And by a lot, I mean one bag that was filled to the brim. Gonna try real hard not to like, talk about this in excessive detail or turn this post into some woe is me bullshit, but I feel like I should at least make mention of it.

At the beginning of the year, I asked Yves (who I wasn’t dating yet) about my previous romantic relationship. And she confirmed to me that, based on everything I had told her about it overtime, that yes, it was abusive.

During 2021-2022 I was in a relationship with a girl I won’t name here, you wouldn’t know her of course, it was a completely different community. It started out as friends, I got a crush, jumped at it because I was still inexperienced with feelings, and it didn’t work out. And that’s the simple way of putting it, and that’s how I viewed it till Yves opened my eyes.

From the getgo it wasn’t healthy. She was manipulative, constantly had outbursts towards me, and yanked me around emotionally constantly. I would later find out that she had a previous history of just, generally being an awful person. Even after we broke up we still stuck around each other, mostly because I felt guilty for breaking up with her, and was also just generally terrified of her. The abuse was all mental of course, it was long distance so she couldn’t hurt me physically at all. 

I of course, didn’t process any of that as me being abused, I even viewed myself as being at fault for a lot of it. The experience was so bad that I identified as Aromantic because just convinced I wasn’t able to feel proper romantic feelings for someone. It wasn’t till much later when I got another crush that I realized that I’m Panromantic, and me being Aro (and very briefly Aegoromantic) was basically just a coping mechanism to write off my trauma. I still feel guilty about that since it feels like I devalued the importance of people who do identify on the Aro spectrum, but that isn’t relevant here.

Point is, a lot of bad shit happened to me because of that woman, and even after a year and a half of us not talking because we both mutually decided it would be better for us to not stay in contact, she still found ways to worm her way back into my life. One conversation we had just by chance, to catch up, that’s all it took and I was thinking of her again. I never talked to her after that, and I have her blocked now, but I didn’t need to for shit to hit the fan.

So I asked Yves that question, she answered, and I now suddenly had to deal with the fact that I was abused, and that I was traumatized as a result. And like, I never really viewed myself as a traumatized person up till that point, I viewed myself as someone who wasn’t very smart but tried her best to do good by people who didn’t have too much baggage beyond some sucky school memories.

When I had to unpack what happened that kind of spiraled into severe Self Confidence Issues and even more Self Hate. I struggled to accept even the slightest compliment if it wasn’t directed at my art. The reason I even quit weed is because I used it almost exclusively to suppress all of the negative emotions I felt. 

I’m in a somewhat better place now, I’m trying to give myself more breaks from artwork, rather than overworking myself constantly just to feel something (and being fully open, I realized near the end of december that I pretty much used Overworking as a form of self harm). I’m gonna really try this year to like, actually let people be nice to me, and in turn try to be nicer to myself. And I have goals to work towards for this year. But I wouldn’t have gotten to this point without two things. One, my girlfriend Yves, who even before we started dating helped me through multiple breakdowns and has helped/allowed me to grow into a (I hope) better, healthier person. And even after I got over most of my feelings related to my Ex, has continued to help me cope with my self hatred. I cherish every moment we share and wouldn’t trade her for anything.

And the other thing, which I know will sound silly right after I talked about my girlfriend, is well. Junkan.

Let me say this, I didn’t get into Junkan to cope with my abuse. I have toyed with the notion in my head before and the idea of it pisses me off to a quite frankly irrational degree. I was into Junkan before I realized my issues. If you want my coping mechanism it’s Alex from Minecraft and no I’m not explaining that right now.

That said, it, like all the yuri ships I like, was a source of comfort for me. Originally I read stuff like Tokomaru fics just to help me reduce stress, back when I dealt with really severe anger issues due to the online spaces I occupied. And to this day reading a nice, fluff fic can calm me down a bit. But now they can serve a much deeper sense of comfort, away from all the bullshit, and obviously, gave me a way to distract/calm myself from the storm of negative emotions and memories that filled the brain.

I see myself in Mikan more than I’d like to personally admit, obviously not to the extreme, but in aspects. So it’s just, nice to see a better timeline for her with Junko, ones where she gets to be happy and maybe even heal as well. It just so happens that I also think there’s a lot of genuinely good potential for the ship from either a canon or non-canon perspective, and Junko’s just a really enjoyable character. 

Working on this project helped too. It gave me a way to dive deeper into my love for this ship, and gave me a sense of purpose and validation that helped me work through the rough. Whether it was the really bad mental health days, or just a shit streak of commission work that tore away at me because my job even if I love drawing can be a real drag at times, and i’m unfortunately a workaholic (Trying to work on it though).

I think i’ve said it before but even something simple as Val showing her excitement over the art pieces I was prepping could genuinely brighten my day even while I was at my lowest.

And then when I really started pursuing this as a project, rather than just a secret stash to satiate myself and one other person minimum, I realized I could do something good here. For the people like me who loved this ship but might have been too nervous about expressing it, the people who were just really craving it, and the people who had already made all of the fics and art that sent me into this spiral of obsessive passion in the first place! A gift to all of them, to make ya’ll happy. 

In hindsight, may not like, the healthiest mindset for setting off this whole project. But hey it all kinda circled around into eventually helping my mental health recover. So like, win?

And i’ve already spoken on how Day 60 allowed me to feel a lot more emotionally free as an artist even if I still have my struggle days. I’ve gotten better just in general as an artist as I improve more at stuff like expressions, posing, linework, etc. And I’ve even managed to make friends with some of the people I used to look up to as idols and can finally just view em as normal people now. (Even if I might still be a bit excessive in my praise, I swear I’m normal about ya’ll besties I just don’t have like, a middleground for showing my appreciation and affection for my friends. It’s maxed out unless I’m tired as shit) 

I find myself comedically terrified of how this ship has affected me over the course of 2024, and how it will likely continue to affect me through 2025 even as I try to move onto other projects not related to Junkan. I wanna show off my love for Fairy Tail on my main blog, and I really think that with a full years time and the first five chapters done I really can get my comic off the ground and focus on that for the foreseeable future.

But hey, 2025 at least we got two whole Junkan Events. And with Junkan Week I’d like to keep that going for as long as I can, unless someone else takes the reins way down the line. So this ol’ blog’ll keep going for a good while I imagine, even if it’s a lot smaller. Maybe I’ll find other ways to keep this place active, I’ve considered just making it a one stop shop for all things Junkan though I don’t think I’m really suited to manage that. Maybe someone’ll read this and try there hand at it down the line, maybe someone’ll do their own 100 Days of Junkan! 

Oh hey did I ever tell ya’ll I was gonna make a comedic video just making a guideline for how one could make their own 100 Days Project. It was gonna be like, pretty obvious points just framed in a very exaggerated and comedic tone. 

Alright anything else I should cover? Fun facts? Deep personal anecdotes? Sappy stuff?

Lemme check my files, maybe i got another dumb joke image- 

. . . 

Oh . . . Well there’s somethin.

Alright, don’t get to excited ya’ll, but just for a bit of fun, how about one last day in the project. I know 101 days doesn’t roll of the tongue as well, but I think this is vaguely interesting enough to make up for that! Tune in tomorrow. Same time, same place. 

As always, Reblogs, Comments, and Little Notes in the Tags are appreciated!~ They always make my day!~

[lurkingshan]

2024 Recap: ✨A Summary✨

Post your most popular and/or favourite edit/gifset/analysis for each month (it’s okay to skip months!)

@troubled-mind and @my-rose-tinted-glasses brought this back, so here is mine! I can't believe some of this stuff happened this year, it feels like it's been 84 years.

January:

most popular - Deep character analysis of Phaya from The Sign

favorites - The birth of Japanese QL Corner, Breakdown of the Last Twilight finale (siiiigh), love for I Became the Main Role in a BL Drama and Gyeongseong Creature, and this list of some of my fav non-BL jdramas

I was a busy little bee in January! Not surprising, as I tend to hermit at home in the deep winter and do nothing but watch dramas and post too much. JQL Corner became my big project of the year, and I can't believe there wasn't a single week that I didn't have Japanese QL to talk about. I Became the Main and Gyeongseong were both surprise delights that ended up among my favs of the year. I’m still holding my LT grudge, in case anyone had any doubt.

February:

most popular - Praise for Dead Friend Forever's mystery arc

favorites - Appreciation for Love for Love's Sake's ending, every single LITBC book club post that I either wrote or read, my final review of Cooking Crush

The original run for the LITBC book club that @bengiyo and I led! What a great time reading a fantastic book, chatting with besties, and making new friends. I also stand by that praise for DFF's mystery arc--that was the strongest part of the show; the things I took issue with were elsewhere in the story. I have just been thinking I need to rewatch LFLS and this post reminds me why (I remember when it first ended me and @wen-kexing-apologist were like, we're going to watch it again immediately! And then realized we were in no way emotionally prepared for that LMAO). Cooking Crush remains a fav and I may or may not be rewatching right now.

March:

most popular and favorite- An actual love letter to TsukuTabe, my beloved

other favorites - Analysis of Unknown ep 6 aka The Turning Point and big love for Cherry Magic Thailand after the finale

Wow, three of my very favorite shows of the year all happening at once. What a blessed month this was. Also, this is not a specific post, but this is the month when I read Da Ge and then spent weeks with people coming into my DMs to get their own copy of the translation, which was a top fandom experience for me because I met a bunch of new people, some of whom stuck around to talk about Unknown, and it made me feel like an illicit dealer which was very fun.

April:

most popular - The boopening

favorites- A breakdown of the pseudo-incest trope and this list of my favorite friends to lovers dramas

The boopening was a once in a lifetime whimsical tumblr event, and I am so glad I was able to participate fully. I also really like these other two because I feel strongly that all tropes have their place and can be enjoyed when executed well and I love talking about that.

May:

most popular - Love for Oyei and Cher from Wandee Goodday

favorites - Trans Allegory in Cupid's Last Wish, co-authored with @wen-kexing-apologist and @so-much-yet-to-learn and this cdrama rec list.

I spent much of May watching and posting about shows I did not end up liking much in the end, but that is also the month I finally watched CLW with my friends and enjoyed it more than expected, in part because WKA had us watch it through the lens of trans allegory, which totally worked.

June:

most popular - Class disparity themes in Love Sea

favorites - 10 Things I Love About Triage, celebrating Thai marriage equality with @my-rose-tinted-glasses, praise for Marahuyo Project

What a fun Pride month with the start of Love Sea, Knock Knock Boys, Marahuyo Project, The Trainee, and me finally watching Triage.

July:

most popular - Teaching the youths about face fucking and power dynamics in Love Sea

favorites - 10 Things I Love About Oppan and The Miracle of Teddy Bear Saved the Gays with @twig-tea

More great shows. I'm so glad me and Twig ignored the rumors and watched Teddy Bear because it's one of my favorite Thai dramas of all time.

August:

most popular - Cheering on the defeat of noble idiocy in Love Sea

favorites - Praise for Knock Knock Boys and this spicy JBL rec list and this other quality JBL rec list and calling out weird fandom attitudes about JBL

Another good month, and the busiest by far for QL Corner. There were so many JQLs airing this summer! What a time to be alive.

September:

most popular - Documenting Wang's behavior in The On1y One

favorites - 10 Things I Love About Mr. Mitsuya's Planned Feeding, clocking Doku Koi as a fav early, this high school bl rec list and this BL romance rec list

I'm filled with so much bitterness reading that Wang/Tian post. I'll be taking this grudge to the grave!

October:

most popular - Moar boops

favorites - Analyzing Dohoe in Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo and celebrating the first two episodes of Love in the Big City and the creation of the LITBC Drama Book Club Round Up

Two moody Korean shows with complicated gay leads dropped in my birthday month, the book club band was back together, and I got to do Halloween themed boops. I WAS THRIVING IN OCTOBER.

November:

most popular - On fandom as a life saving force

favorites - This list of some of my trash favs for @happypotato48 and getting my feelings out on Young and Gyuho and Hirukawa and Minase and final thoughts on the LITBC drama

I was having a lot of feelings in November.

December:

most popular - Democracy in Squid Game 2

favourite - QL superlatives and grievances, this round up of my fav dramas of the year and being so very normal about Hirukawa

This write up really helped me appreciate that I had good stuff to watch and write about every month this year. There were some disappointments, but also a lot of shows I really loved and it was fun to remember some of the things I wrote. Also, i got to make so many fun rec lists! If you were tagged here, or if you just see this and want to join in, consider yourself invited to do your own!

You can go here to find your top 10 posts of each month.

[artbyblastweave]

🔥 One More Day?

One More Day is a really interesting artefact for me because of the question it raises about whether a Big-two comic can be good in-and-of-itself or if that question is inherently bound up in the impact it has on the shared universe. Reading the thing even as a teenager it came across to me as something competent and thoughtful that JMS was being made to write at editorial gunpoint; I was under no illusions that this stupid fucking beat was in any way his idea and as a consequence it didn't detract from my enjoyment of the rest of the run. It's "good" when taking into account the out-of-universe constraints driving it, the ruminations on Peter's character that amount to an argument for why the story's own existence is a terrible idea. It's 'bad' in terms of the basic concept, and the impact it has on the setting as a whole, and the fact I've still gotta talk about it, what, 18 years later? Christ. This is actually a microcosm of my problem with the Civil War event as a whole; as an object-in-itself, the Millar/Nivens 7-issue miniseries is dumb but high-effort popcorn fun, many of the tie-in minis are downright transcendent, and many of the stories it enabled up through Siege are genuinely interesting; but the event, if taken seriously from a worldbuilding perspective, should have permanently annihilated the ability for any of these people to ever work together or even look each other in the eye, ever again. There should have been no going back. And so the entire project is dragged down by the fact that inevitably you have to call that bluff, and then there, is, in fact, some going back.

[kcalsforhim]

𓏲.ೃ࿔❀˙˖ ｡ thursday 9 jan 2025

༄.°

i woke up in the worst state someone could find me in LOL. i can’t recall much except feeling so fucking terrible ;; i did go to college and haku didn’t go to college so i was all alone

2 sugar free red bulls

2 sugar free coca cola oreo

in class for the first half i worked on a drawing for college then on the second half i talked with my classmates to make sure i could actually be included in the second half of the group project pretty please. i had a lot of cool ideas and that is a lot of fun im excited for that

then when i was walking home my mom sends me a text, she got called by a number and she’s asking me who it is. i checked and the number called me too

earlier in the day i sent my mental health coordinator at college that i wanted to commit suicide on new years and i ended up not doing it, and that im just kind of lost now ;; and she started panicking and called me

we had a nice conversation on the phone about a new special trajectory for me so that i can calm down and obviously get extra help and bla bla. this has been weighing on me for like.. ever since i started college again, but mostly since start of november, that’s also when i started binge eating.. or well, it started developing.

afterwards i just started to stress and i wanted to binge, it was a good convo, but i wanted to eat everything in sight. instead i went to the shops to spend money there instead since another one of my comforts is shopping. (yeah i know lots of bad comforts)

i went to miniso and got lots of kuromi stuff, bottles and lunch box that’s tiny and even a hair straightener ; then i went to primark and bought a pair of sweatpants and a kuromi hoodie and pyjamas and more kuromi stuff. i also went online and ordered a pair of pants. yes i went crazy.

however, i got no food. when i got to my local train station i began my walk home and my knees wobbled and i just kind of half fell on the floor, i was so exhausted and it was. cold. icy cold. i called my friend and asked him to get me

he did and he was deadass pale like a ghost. he had to hold onto me when we got me some groceries so i could eat. he even pulled out of his savings to have enough for what i wanted to eat

he got me cigarettes and got me everything i wanted, just ingredients for a dish. he held me when i felt my legs giving out lol, he took me home and he gave me the longest hug ever and asked me to keep safe, i told him i would try

a pokebowl containing salad mix, spicy mayonnaise, edamame beans, half of an avocado, carrot shavings, cucumber cubes, shrimp and salmon.

4 courgette hashbrowns / cakes

3 medjoul dates

1 protein yogurt

i didn’t count my cals cause i knew if i didn’t eat something properly i would and will binge eat everything and i was feeling really emotional so i would rather eat salad and salmon than a big thing of cookies… im just saying… 3 dates instead of 1 for the same reasoning

its pathetic but i did half all of the ingredients at the very least, half the avocado, half the salmon, half the shrimp, ect ect. i made my mom a small bowl to eat out of too and that’s where the extra meat went (i ate similar meal today too)

i wanted to eat more and more and more afterwards but i ended up not doing it dont worry. i just chewed a lot of gum to get my jaw moving and active so that i wouldn’t go downstairs to chew on something else yk ?

i am relieved things in my life will change though, i’m relieved. telling everyone in my life i wanted to be gone on new years stressed me the fuck out

fitting for how i felt yesterday, i listened to it a lot that day too… it just resonates with me, you know ?

𓏲.ೃ࿔❀˙˖ ｡ stats for today

streak : 4 days binge free, thank god

cals : n.v.t

steps : 15.2 k

overall today went shit in well, EVERY regard, not just food. im cutting myself a little slack. the next day; so today as im writing this, i did eat the leftovers but only because my friend pulled from his savings for me to be able to eat something i find comfort in. my favourite restaurant is closed, so i have to make their dish from my own memory. i hope you guys understand but im ready to feel terrible by the next day (11th)

༄.°

[twopoppies]

Talking about DWD and H´s acting, my bf joined me when I was watching it in like last 30 minutes of the movie and he said H has one huge problem - he can´t deliver the emotions he´s supposed to feel. I know you wrote that you haven´t seen it but there´s this scene where he´s yelling at Alice and my bf went "Well, there´s exactly the problem. He´s angry and he´s yelling but somehow he still looks like a cute kitten and so you don´t believe him". But on the other hand when watching MP I totally believed him and somehow he delivered those emotions imo. But maybe he delivered it because imo he wasn´t acting that much because H is Tom and he knew exatly how it all feels because he´s living his role in the real life and went through it a lot of concequences of his closet.

Yeah, I found it very interesting how much he was able to portray all of those micro-expressions of how a man so frightened of his own sexuality might react (especially those first intimate scenes with Patrick). I'm blown away by parts of the film whenever I watch it.

But I do think he tended to be a little one-note with his big emotional scenes. I think he's got so much raw talent, but he does need more time to develop. While I think he was excellently cast in MP (and I think it was a real passion project for him), it's a shame his team encouraged such a big jump into a lead role with DWD (and please don't get me started on Holivia and his/his team's financial stake in the film).

[janeyshivers]

i think a big part of the reason why, even when Pratchett was alive, it was always Rowling who was held up as the gold standard of a modern British fantasy author, is that Pratchett was above all else just far more honest about like, The English writ large.

a lot of ink has been spilled on the saccharine nostalgia of Harry Potter books, particularly as they went on, that longing for the WW2 Blitz spirit that Rowling herself didn't actually live through, but is lionised in our culture and was subsequently regurgitated uncritically by her, on account of her being an unimaginative hack. "keep calm and carry on" is the core aesthetic of the later books, while the earlier ones are far more of the sort of irritating, faux-charming, brilliant baffling bouncing Britishness that captured the hearts of teaboos who knew no better around the world, and also presented a highly self-flattering image to the people who have to actually live on this shithole island. this was especially true of cultural institutions such as schools, libararies, etc, who found it germaine to push these middling children's books relentlessly on kids, while massive multimillion dollar movie projects were cranked out, because they were deeply, painfully in love with a cutesy mirage of England that we like to project to the world to cover for the fact that this place is the husk of a dead empire, inhabited by tiny islands of obscene hoarded wealth in an increasingly desperate sea of insane deprivation and poverty.

and on a certain surface-level reading, you could almost accuse Pratchett of doing the same thing. after all, he also wrote whimsical fantasy tales largely set in a transparently England-ish setting (that is, Ankh-Morpork and the surrounding countryside areas on the Discworld). they even feature lots of witches and wizards! his books are full of bumbling, good-natured Englishmen doffing their caps to the lord, scenic countryside vistas, dirty and yet charming city streets, bustling fairs, rascally pickpockets, and generally a lot of the same aesthetic signifiers of Rowling's earlier work especially.

but.

read any amount of Pratchett's stuff and you realise very quickly that he understands that there is a persistent, genuinely violent nastiness underpinning a lot of this stuff. I Shall Wear Midnight is a good example, as the honest, hard-working country folk of the Chalk never even acknowledge the shameful mob killing of the old toothless woman who Tiffany has had to bury. these charming communities are places where well-known cases of domestic violence go unaddressed until a pregnant girl is beaten so badly she has a miscarriage, and they are places where miserable, curtain-twitching sneaks spread lies and rumours with impunity. Guards, Guards! fits here as well, a book about how the not-insincere love of the people of Ankh Morpork for their new king is insane and destructive and ends up getting quite a lot of innocent people killed.

what i appreciate most about how Pratchett talks about this stuff is that neither the nastiness nor the more charming elements are artifice. while they seem to exist as a contradiction at first glance, a core feature of English culture from Pratchett's perspective is that these impulses exist in a tense balance at all times. Mr Petty hits his daughter until she miscarries, and also stings his hands gathering nettles to make a little grave for the poor kid before trying to hang himself. that doesn't make what he did ok, but it does mean grappling with the fact that people are complicated and don't make sense, culture doesn't entirely cohere, and that the things you might like about "Englishness" are part and parcel of some genuinely horrifying shit.

obviously i'm not going to sit here and pretend that Pratchett was some plucky underdog compared to Rowling, the dude had a knighthood, and there are even a few movies based on his stuff (I'm rather partial to the 2008 The Colour of Magic adaptation myself), although nothing on the scale of the Potter movies. but at a glance, it does seem strange that Rowling was our nation's marquis literary export in the 2000s, considering that Pratchett was more established, working in the same genre, and also a significantly more technically skilled and insightful writer than her. but, that's the thing, he was insightful enough that his writing didn't make for decent cultural slop like Rowling's did. Harry Potter is vapid enough for corporate interests and cultural institutions to build a multinational media empire on, not through some insidious conspiracy to poison the minds of a generation of irritating millenials, but because it was there and it was popular enough and it was easy to use, because it's not very complicated or challenging. Discworld is not perfect by any means, and i have my personal disagreements with Pratchett's (relatively) rosy perspective on humans as being fundamentally very decent. but the stories make you think, they encourage you to engage with the world critically, and they are written with a degree of empathy and kindness that clash with any earnest attempt to shore up "English values".

[howdoichooseablogname]

biromantic asexual buck x aromantic alosexual eddie

like they start a relationship, but it's undefined. it's just them. they love each other and want to send the rest of their lives together. that's all that matters

buck had a bunch of sex with people because it feels good and he's wanting a proper romantic relationship and hoped one day he would

while eddie is sexually attracted to people and trying to make a romantic relationship work when he doesn't want nor need it

the relationship they make together is deep and out of love. they don't kiss because they both personally find it gross(too romantic for eddie and too sexual for buck, plus they've basically been forced by expectations into it and they don't want to and its always been bad), they have sex sometimes when buck (who's mostly sex-positive, or sex-neutral?) initiates it because he has used sex as a form of self harm in the past. but they cuddle, they have an emotional closeness and intimacy they crave in a comfort level they love

they talk about their boundaries, they talked about what they want in this relationship, this partnership. they don't call each other boyfriends, but partners, because boyfriends have a set rules and expectations that they don't want, nor need. if they ever get married in this (which they might for legal reasons, taxes, chris, etc) they'd still call each other partner

they probably have more and proper boundaries that they respect than anybody else they know. and their communication is the best because they talk regularly about what they want from the relationship

(i'm not saying that this form of relationship automatically puts you with good communication, but it's more likely because it's not one that society expects with expectations already attached to the relationship and label. it's easier to communicate what you want with your partner when your making your own relationship with your own rules. every relationship should have this type of conversation, but since 'boyfriend, girlfriend, etc' already have expectations it doesn't happen often. but, even with this type of relationship you can still have miscommunication, bad communication, no communication. it is not a guarantee for good communication)

no one around them seems to properly understand their relationship

maddie is worried buck will hurt himself

chimney understands enough to know it's what's for them

hen is a little worried (but more in the "it's not illegal or wrong to be boyfriends" aspect, she respects them though!)

bobby is a little confused over boyfriend vs partner thing (but still respects them!)

athena is happy for them

chris understands the best, but thats partially due to living with it

josh, love him, he gets it and helps maddie with her worries. he had an ex boyfriend who had a queerplatonic partner, so he knows of it, (even if buck and eddie don't use that term because they don't want labels. they just want to be them). maybe he doesn't fully understand what it means, but he knows it's a thing

josh tells maddie that they love each other, and that's all that should matter (to which maddie apologizes for getting upset when she should have been happy, buck accepts because that's his sister, and she trusts him)

paperwork wise would be a nightmare for bobby. he gives them a 'romantic partner' paperwork to fill out, they decline because it's not romantic. then (straight out of that one scene from superstore(am i remembering that correctly??)) they go on a call with hr because it's not romantic, but it's not friendship. they're partners in life as well as the job (maybe this is why they get married lmao)

its just them loving each other and not having to worry about labels or expectations from others. maybe i'm projecting my hopes and dreams, shush. romantic love isn't above all other loves, platonic, familial, alterous, etc, all that love is equal and should not be put above one another

this is a big fuck you to allonormativity

[hatsukeii]

12:51 FM / K. AKAASHI

•၊၊||၊|။||||| 0:10 hello hello, you are currently tuned in to 12:51 FM. this is your host IYKO speaking. welcome to the show.

pairing(s): k. akaashi x reader

podcast status: ongoing

taglist status: open

podcast content(s): slight angst with good ending, high school best friends, pining, misunderstanding trope, falling out, corpo slave akaashi x anonymous podcast host reader, mixed formatting

content warning(s): corpo slavery, a good amount of use of y/n (sfw, gn reader!)

podcast overview: a corporate slave's lifeline- music and introspection at an odd time of night, provided by none other than a weird, altered voice through a podcast mic.

•၊၊||၊|။||||| 0:23 let's get started with tonight then, midnight dwellers.

EPISODES:

PROLOGUE: 12:51 AM EP. 1: CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE SHIRT? EP. 2: ... MORE TO COME...

taglist: @wyrcan @kawoala @bakery-anon @tobiosluvr @kameyyy @chuuya-brainrot @catsoupki @staraxiaa @akaakeis @velvetreds @bailey-reeds @fiannee @hiraethwa @hiraethwrote @kongkhoi @gumims

p.s. comment/dm for taglist!

[dkettchen]

she would've told them unlike her canon! version who decided not to be an ally smh

[triona-tribblescore]

Anxiety