#this was supposed to be longer but i spent way too long on it and lost motivation so i'll finish it later lol
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horreurscopes · 1 day ago
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dude your intricate ritual just fucking bit me
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youngke · 10 months ago
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DAY6 COMEBACK COUNTDOWN: favorite member
young k / brian / kang younghyun / yonk / the bane of my existence
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twocutlines · 8 months ago
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anyway
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dolly-spit · 5 months ago
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listening to these two bickering is probably the best background noise to drink coffee to
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voidhope · 1 year ago
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The Other Woman
(Part 2 FINALE)
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Synopsis: Miguel had left Y/N for another version of his old wife in hopes of getting his old life back. To only realize the mistakes he’s made.
Link to Part 1
Pair: Miguel O’Hara x Spider!reader
Warnings: very heavy mental health, ANGST LIKE A LOT OF ANGST, ALL OF THIS IS ANGST, mentions of death/almost dying, long term establish relationship, cheating, swearing, therapy, physical fight, blood, feral protective miguel?
A/N: hello again! this one is more heartbreaking and longer than the first part oof… Very low dialog up until closer towards the end! wanted to just get through telling the story itself and the emotions. It’s just a very heavy storyline!! I want to say thank you so so much for showing so much support for part 1 i had no idea it would receive that much attention :O !! i wrote this out kinda fast as i didn’t want to loose the momentum of the idea. so apologies for any mistakes! all feedback is greatly appreciated ~
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You used to make Miguel coffee everyday, with one cream two sugars, and he would nag about how he hated the taste. It was to your liking, not his. As you would sneakily take sips out of his mug while working next to him. Why didn’t you just get your own coffee? You claimed you could never finish it and just wanted a taste out of his. Miguel would roll his eyes at you every time he caught you but he adored it. He had secretly grown to love the way you made it and had become his only way of making coffee after meeting you.
Now as this version of his older wife made it the way he is suppose to like coffee, bland and straight, he found himself bothered by it. Going as far to correct her even though this was what he had been claiming to have missed so much. He was now seeing himself teaching someone else how to love him like you did…
He was only a shell of the man he was when he had Gabriella. Even though the copy of his old wife has her same personality, the relationship couldn’t be exactly how it was before because he had changed so much. You had helped him become whole again. His tastes and likings had all switched to everything about you. The charm he found in his old wife doesn’t hold a light to you now and he was getting frustrated. He had wanted this so badly. He felt like those babies who whine and cry wanting to eat a lemon and once they get their way they realize the sour truth.
Miguel never truly realized what it was like to loose you until three weeks after he told you the truth. Over the years the idea of losing you terrified him but he only ever thought of it being in death. He never considered separation when everything was perfect for both of you then. There were times he believed that you were made just for him and he treated you like his queen. Which you truly were to him in his spider society. Why would he ever throw that away? Look at what he did.
He gave himself every excuse in the book before you knew he was cheating on you. ‘This is only for research.’ he would think every time he found himself back in that universe. As everyone knew he was so serious about his work, obviously this is just him getting to know more about certain universes and canons. Lyla was the only one seeing straight through him knowing where he was actually going. Things kept tumbling and the more he found out about the place and spent time with her the more his grief and yearning returned. It was all just there, so reachable.
There was a time his mind tried to snap him back out of it while cheating on you and made him realize the guilt. The first time he kissed this woman you were there in his mind. He came home right after and held you without saying a word. You never questioned him, just showed him comfort as much as you could. Lightly stroking his back, you never over stepped or pushed him when he was vulnerable with you. He only closed his eyes and held onto you tighter processing how you were always too good for him. He was converting to living two different lives; his old self during the day and then coming home to you. He didn’t want to let go of either at the time.
Once he found out he could safely have Gabriella again was when he became distant with you. The shame of using you for research made him become stoic. He didn’t want to admit how wrong he was treating you. All while you were always being so loyal and trusting towards him. Things were slowly slipping through the cracks and he knew he couldn’t up keep it. He wished he could have had that conversation with you so much differently but it was over. Now he had his old life back, a dream he had his mind set on.
He ignored the shakiness in his hands when he returned to her after letting you go. ‘It’s all for the best.’ is what he would repeat in his mind as a mantra. His new girlfriend truly had no idea who he really was or what his background was. Miguel continued to feed her lies to the point where he even started believing them himself getting too lost in avoiding what he’s done. He believed he was happy as he spent time with her.
When she got too close to finding the truth after finding his wedding ring in one of his pockets, he set her off course from it by revealing his spider identity and taking her to HQ. This was the day that everything felt like it was crashing around him. Being reminded of his marriage, having to face his friends with his new lover, sharing his personal spider life, his work with someone who wasn’t you. He excused himself rushing to an unused office room while his chest was tightening. Pupils dilating as he realized it was his first time having a panic attack.
Nevertheless he continued to push it all aside and act completely normal with his girlfriend. He was feeling your absence the most while working. You had became an extension of him. He had trained you from scratch and you helped him build this society he has now. You knew the ins and outs of everything and fought perfectly alongside him. Now that he was on his own he let his girlfriend be there for him when he got stressed, but there always was a knot in his stomach he never could get rid of.
The more his mental health ate at him late at night the more he considered searching out for you. There was no closure between both of you and he never got to listen to how you feel. What was your opinion on all that happened? Do you hate him?
He wanted to speak with someone so badly but he dug himself in a hole too deep. You were gone, he was lying through his teeth to this poor woman he’s kept for some fantasy, he felt too ashamed to say anything to his friends, he would rather die if all his workers found out how big of a piece of shit he is. Anytime Lyla tried peeping a word that wasn’t work related he would snap. He had pushed everyone away and now he just felt alone.
Regardless he would wake up in the morning and swallow all his dark feelings. He would remember his grief of when he lost his family and it would put him back in the moment. He has another chance. He was happy with the direction he was going in now.
Right?
The day he found out you were at HQ he felt his heart stop. He was mid mission trying to call for Lyla but she wouldn’t answer. Frustrated he tried looking into what was happening only to see her busy having a conversation with you. It felt like something took over him when he opened a portal in less than a second. Without thinking nor wasting a heartbeat he rushed back. Just a glimpse of you, maybe just to hear a word out of your mouth. The feeling of having you back in HQ was making him ignore all his insecurities. How he would coward at the thought of trying to reach out to you before. You were in his home, your home, and the thought drove him wild.
You were already long gone though. Lyla stared at him not saying a word. The quietness in the room making his ears ring but his thoughts were screaming in his head. He stood there frozen still trying to recollect himself. He was the one that left you, what is wrong with him?
Again he went back and forth in his own head trying to convince himself ‘You wanted this.’ but if he did why is he feeling like someone just killed a puppy in front of him? Why is he here fighting with his self if this is really his dream? Why did he try chasing after you? The wounds of his past grief were too deep. He never took the time to properly heal and now look at what he’s become.
“Miguel, what’s this?” He was startled turning around seeing his girlfriend holidng your watch and skimming through the divorce paperwork addressed to him.
There was no more hiding, no more lying. He swallowed hard even though his throat was dry. He let everything he had kept away rise to surface. It hurt him to see the beautiful face his old wife shared contort into such anger and pain while finding the truth.
She didn’t stay, but for some reason he wasn’t upset. Though he longed for his daughter, he knew it would have never been the same now. He finally closed the door on his past. His heart had made the choice this time but it’s too late. Now grasping onto the divorce papers left by you, emptiness spread through his soul.
You on the other hand did not find yourself crying by yourself on a rooftop for long. The shift in the air from your arrival alerted the local spider-man immediately.
“It didn’t work out, did it?” He crouched down next to you as he noticed your watch gone and your missing wedding band.
Peter Parker knew both you and Miguel. Your husband had come to do many rounds of research in this universe when he took you. Eventually offering this Peter a spot in the society, which he politely declined due to just being busy enough here. You both never spoke much but always had an appreciation for each other.
“Do you need a place to crash at?” He continued while trying to get you to look at him. Reaching his hand towards you.
You had absolutely no one and you had been gone so long you couldn’t even go back to the little you had. When you met Miguel you didn’t hesitate to never look back and now it filled you with regret. How naive were you to put all your trust and reliance on him.
You took Peter’s hand. You were ready to start your own life and be your own person now.
Peter Parker was nice enough to let you stay with him as long as you needed it. You both had became ‘besties!’ as he would love to poke at you. The first month with him you were a disaster really but he showed you how he liked to cope using his spider abilities.
The first thing he helped you with was getting a new suit. Your old one resembled too much to Miguel’s and you felt suffocated every time you put it on. Peter had taught you to use your current emotional pain on whichever sad little villain was making trouble out in Brooklyn that night.
“Come on, we got multiverse spider-woman helping me keep these streets clean now!” He would taunt at the men while watching you easily take them out a little bit too aggressively. His feet kicking up and down while he sat on the side of a building watching you. The crime rate did go down a bit once word got around how strong your punch was. Peter’s just happy he can now spend some nights to himself.
You got yourself a job at the mart on the corner to help cover bills for Peter and save up. You were grateful enough the owners never batted an eye when you would disappear during a shift to either suddenly go cry uncontrollably or beat the shit out of someone at a nearby robbery. Next thing you were enrolling yourself back in university, wanting to finish that degree you never did.
It wasn’t too long that some of your older spider friends would stop by to check in on you. Seeing them was difficult sometimes, you were internally itching to ask about Miguel. Things were going okay for you on a very slow path of breathing step by step. You never wanted to feel that hurt again and so you very well pretend like Miguel didn’t exist if you could.
You couldn’t ignore the hurt resurfacing when you passed couples on the street. Or when you found yourself going to fidget with your wedding ring just to remember it’s gone. You can’t just move on from a relationship that was so deeply apart of you and lasted so long. You gave everything to him and it will take you much time to get yourself to build trust again.
After two semesters, you finally had your graduation. All the things you learned while in Earth-928 paid off as you barley had to study. Passing top of the class, you immediately got an offer for an internship opportunity with Alchemax and was able to get an introduction tour of the building beforehand.
What you hadn’t realized was that Alchemax had been looking for that girl who snuck into their offices a couple years ago. Who made another dimension’s spider appear and then went missing herself soon after. They had kept as close tabs on you as they could and how foolish you were to think your little break in wouldn’t come back to bite you. The moment you stepped foot back in their building, it was over for you.
Miguel had spent a whole year in much deserving therapy. Nothing could stop the embarrassment he felt when Peter B signed him up with HQ’s best spider-therapist after 3 months of constant out bursts. No one could come near the man when he felt like he had lost everything. Those first initial months were difficult for everyone around him.
Therapy did help, he hates to admit it, but it was a very rough ride. He finally was able to understand his deep inner term oil and heal his issues but moving on from you? No, he could never.
You were the only one who had sincerely stood by his side, always rooting for him. He never fell out of love with you despite of everything that he did. He just pushed everything down too deep and was blinded by obsession. Till now he could never deny that he still loves you. Maybe if he just would have went to therapy years ago instead of acting out on unsolved grief none of this would have happened. The guilt always making him toss and turn at night.
He would have big temper tantrums when he would find his coworkers going to visit you time to time and not sharing any details. He needed to know if you’re okay. Did you already move on? He longed to find you and speak with you but he knew he wasn’t ready yet. He was so self destructive and this was what he deserved.
Everyone avoided him completely when he overheard someone saying you were living with Peter Parker. Fighting crime with him and having a cute little home life. Peter followed you around now like a puppy. Miguel did not take the news well at all. Let’s just say, the large bill replacement for his monitor screens was what snapped him out of that rage.
He also wanted to strangle Hobie Brown every time he saw a glint in his eye when your name was mentioned around. Yet Miguel couldn’t hate the kid either, as Hobie was one of the people to try help repair the damage he did to you. How badly he just wanted to hold you and shield you in his arms from any other people taking you from him as if he wasn’t the idiot to let you go in the first place.
Everyone’s big, powerful, scary boss was really just a grumpy, wallowing-in-self-pity, sensitive, lonely man now. Mention your name too much to him and watch him start crying or take it out on whatever he could find nearest to him. He would some nights scroll through your wedding photos while listening to your last tracked log with Lyla. Your words cutting through him deep like long sharp knives. How he urged to go tell you it was all wrong and how guilty he was for making you feel like this.
Despite it all, he still believed in being the best of the best. He used his work to distract himself from his sorrows, to become numb. Even though his divorce paperwork were set next to him on his desk to remind him the pain. He never signed it.
“We can’t tell him!” Jessica gritted through her teeth. Small group of spider-people were hovered around Lyla taking in the new found information.
“Her canon events have always been uncertain, we can’t just stop and fix this one?” Gwen Stacy suggested in hopes.
“We have never prevented a canon event of hers or the people involved in it. It could be even more dangerous than a regular canon.” Peter B spoke grimly.
“When ‘as danger ever stopped us?” Hobie spoke up.
“Everyone get your gear.” Lyla added to the stress of the situation.
You couldn’t open your eyes properly with a strong blinding light being held above you. Arms and legs secured on top of a metal surgical table. You could feel the warmth of blood scattered on certain parts of your body, slowly starting to dry. It was a mix of yours and the people you had tried fighting through to get out of here when you realize the trap you were reeled into. Different people in lab coats poked and pried all around you while you were tied. Your mask was thrown on another table and your suit had large gashes across it.
Soon you also could feel the presence of Peter Parker being brought to the room, thrown slumped in the corner breathing heavily. They had gotten you too good. They knew everything and had planned this so detailed.
“Now you’re going to help me open the multiverse.” Kingpin loomed around you. All you could feel was searing pain as a laser aimed right at your chest.
Miguel was already staring out the window to the glowing night lights of Nueva York when he saw a big hole appear in sight of the skyline. His eyebrows furrowed while he was trying to process what he was looking at. It wasn’t a second later when all alarms started going off in his office.
“Qué carajos?” He exclaimed seeing the alerts of a possible universe collapse. “Lyla! Why wasn’t this being taken care of already?”
“I already sent people.”
“Then what are they doing?” He yelled. His confusion and anger only furthered when he saw a red alarm for a canon event.
“Canon event?” He whispered to himself. He always knew when these were happening, there were none scheduled for today. There was no way he would let one passed him, it’s not like this could magically appear? His jaw dropped in realization… a new canon event.
“Lyla, tell me the truth. Why wasn’t this reported to me?” He made the atmosphere turn cold. She knew he already figured it out.
“A new canon event was received this morning being given to Peter Parker. Of Y/N L/N’s death.” The words from Lyla made Miguel’s body go still. His eyes raced side to side while he processed it.
“No!” He roared, a fist slamming into the nearby desk. His massive strength breaking it in half.
“Boss, you can’t go on this mission only using your emotions.” Lyla warned. However Miguel was already half way stepping through a portal to find you.
He appeared, watching his team struggle to shut down the machine causing the collapse. Outnumbered by the amount of Alchemax puppets. A different kind of rage filled him as he saw you, for the first time in a year, suffering. Miguel was never one to act reckless while on missions but he had no plan here and just ran off the pure adrenaline the fight or flight had hit him with.
His claws tore into the backs of his enemies as he jumped beast-like across the room. Not hesitating spilling blood across the wall while he took everyone down as fast as he could. His team could only watch wide eye with an unsettling fear as they saw Miguel lose himself to his spider sense. While he fought they took the opportunity to take apart the machine.
Miguel was panting heavily, pupils blown wide glowing red, and fangs dripping with venom as the room slowly silenced. Kingpin laid on the floor slowly trying to drag himself after being beaten to a pulp. It was over. Peter B stopped him from doing anything further. Knowing Miguel would kill the man, Peter B let the team finish up to give Kingpin to authorities. Miguel turned frantically to look at you seeing the other spiders step away. Peter Parker was hunched over you in tears. Miguel fought the urge to snap at Peter and grab his hands off of you.
Your vision was too blurry and everything felt like it was burning. A shape that seemed too familiar came into your peripheral vision and you tried to push yourself up.
“Miguel?” Was the last thing you croaked before slumping back passing out. Miguel catching you in his arms before you could hurt yourself further.
“It’s her time.” Jessica spoke behind him. Yet he was refusing to let go. He had never defied the way the timeline worked since he created his society. He would never break the rules and you both had promised each other before not to. If there was a situation like this you both agreed to save the universe first. How stupid was he to think he would listen to that now facing it in-front of him.
He never got to tell you what happened. He never got to apologize. He never got to tell you one more time that he loved you. Even if you in result just spat in his face, at least he was able to talk to you one more time. You were never a placeholder or someone to fill a hole in his heart. His whole heart belonged to you and he couldn’t let you go thinking you didn’t mean anything to him. No matter the consequences, he needed to tell you.
“Call all the teams to control the damage of a possible universe collapse.” He turned to Jess with Y/N tightly in his arms. The spider-people watched speechless as he opened a portal and disappeared.
Two weeks you laid motionless in the HQ’s medbay.
The clean up after breaking the canon was a little intense. They were able to get it under control as the event started to fade from your timeline once you were returned and starting to heal in Earth-928.
The spider society would remain silent near the medbay. The lights always being dimmed and hushed whispers between staff to not bother the distressed O’Hara. He refused to leave.
Your Peter Parker had now joined the team, much to Miguel’s dismay. Everyday your friends would come in and check to see how you were. Some telling stories about their day or any gossip updates you missed, in hopes that it would get you to wake up. They would ignore the gloomy Miguel who was basically glued to the seat next to you not saying a word to anyone.
At night Miguel would play with your fingers and softly stroke your hair all while pleading “Please don’t leave me, please don’t leave me. Por favor mi alma.” He knew it wasn’t his place to beg this after what he did, but he didn’t mind the words falling on deaf ears.
Miguel hadn’t eaten in days, he felt too nauseous from anxiety to even try anything. Pavitr had done the favor to bring you and Miguel’s favorite empanadas from a small street vendor downtown. Hoping to get Miguel to at least try the food before he ended up in a hospital bed next to you due to starvation.
You started to blink open your eyes, spots surrounding your vision. You could hear a soft breathing to your right side and you slowly felt your sense come back one by one. It felt like you just had a really rough nap.
“Oh my god that smells so good.” You moaned, sitting yourself up to try to look at where the smell of food was coming from.
You were met with a wide eyed Miguel holding a box of empanadas. His jaw slacked open acting as if he’s seen a ghost looking at you. Confusion hit you first for a second and then you start to panic.
Why was he here? Why was your ex-husband sitting right here? You started to push away from him and Miguel caught on to your panic.
“No, no, no mi amor stop.” He tried calming you. “You’re hurt, you’re going to open your stitches.”
You suddenly remembered everything that happened right before you blacked out. At that moment you forgot the hurt you had towards your ex-lover. Gathering yourself you just stared at him. “I’m suppose to be dead.”
Tears rimmed your eyes. Why did it feel like life just hated you so much?
Miguel engulfed you in his arms as you started to cry. You didn’t care right now. You had ached for this feeling again, so alone, with the comfort Miguel used to bring you. Just for a moment you could pretend like how it was before.
“We can’t do this Miguel.”
He knew what you were thinking. He didn’t want to let you leave his arms yet, as he let his self hold harder and push your head closer into his the crook of his shoulder. The tickle of your breath on his neck, he just wanted this forever.
“She left. Almost a year ago.” He let out to you. A big weight coming off of his chest. You pulled back from him and looked up into his eyes while you watched him avoid your gaze. You felt bad to say you could feel a bit of satisfaction bubbling in you.
“Good, she deserved better.”
“So did you.” Miguel sighed playing with his hands. Your eyes widened when you saw the ring still on his finger. He let you stare. “I-I could never. I couldn’t.” The emotions struggle to come out of his mouth. You understood him though. You always did. Placing your hand on top of his you just nodded.
“Please stay here.” He whispered.
Miguel had broken you in so many ways. Yet he almost ruined another universe just to keep you alive. You both needed time to talk and coming out a coma right now isn’t good timing.
“I finally became my own person when I went back in my universe. I enjoyed my independence.” The words pelleted at him. He could only hold his breath as he waited for you to continue. “I’ll stay… but not for you.”
It wounded him deeply; but he deserved it. This place will always be a home for you even if he wasn’t apart of it. Before he can tear his gaze and turn away, you reached out to hold his face close to yours. Your fingers gently rubbing on his cheeks as you slowly look at him properly after so long. You let your thumb smooth over his frown lines and he leaned into your touch closing his eyes.
“Let’s give us time.” Was the words you blessed that opened every door of hope he could find. He would take it, he would absolutely take it. He has to fight for you, he has to prove to you. He would do anything but for now he’ll be on his best patiently waiting for you.
Both of you sat comfortably without speaking, only the faint background beeps of the hospital monitor making up for the silence, while passing small glances. For once both of you felt a missing warmth you didn’t realize you needed. Sharing empanadas with each other, just maybe it will be alright…
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The end!!! Thank you so so much for your time in reading my story. i really really was so happy with all the comments and feedback on pt 1 it really meant a lot!!!
i hope this was ok ~ i apologize for how long it was i was thinking of doing another part but just wanted to finish this up. I was in such a conflict how to end this. i hope it wasn’t too cliche or anything i’m just a sucker for very wanty needy dramatic stories. It’s a hopeful ending tho~ i couldn’t pick with just happy or sad.
So many of you had tons of amazing suggestions which I appreciated so much. I was such a mess trying to figure it all out. Many of you wanted to see Y/N move on with another person but I ended up going this route. I used Peter Parker as an obv character in y/n’s universe but it’s not tied to any specific one and you guy can think of him more to your liking if you want to!
If any of you would like a small drabble or imagine of another route of this story or just anything angsty/possessive and rarwrarwbarkbark miguel. I’d be glad to help lol!! My request box is wide open~ i had so much fun writing this!
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pretty-little-mind33 · 11 months ago
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James Potter x fem!reader
Summary: James has been persuing you for years and you've never said yes, until now?
Genre: Fluff 😇🎉 (bc i love happiness, ur welcome)
Warnings: misunderstandings, lovesick!James <3
JAMES POTTER MASTERLIST
It's not James's fault he's been head over heels in love with you for longer than he can remember. And it's really not his fault either that he's spent years acting like a complete and utter fool just to have a sliver of your attention. 
Talking the loudest in any room you're in? Easy.
"Accidentally" flying too close to where you're sitting in the Quidditch stands while he's supposed to be playing just so he can flip around obnoxiously? He's done that over three times now. 
So, when he hears you'll be at the Three Broomsticks this evening, it isn't surprising to anyone that he convinces Sirius and Remus to accompany him.
The moment they walk in, their loud demeanor makes everyone turn their heads. It's no secret James, Sirius, and Remus are the handsomest guys in your year — so no one could blame you when you look up too. 
Your friend digs her elbow into your side when James sees you looking and struts to your table. You sit up, taking a long sip of your pumpkin juice as James leans in and crosses his arms.
Sirius and Remus stand behind him, amused. "Ladies," James winks, his eyes focused only on you. "What brings you here on this lovely Friday evening?"
You turn your head, avoiding his gaze with a small smile that makes James lose his mind, "Nothing that concerns you, Potter,"
"Can I buy you a drink?" he asks, unfazed by your bluntness as he motions to your empty glass. 
When you stand, James smoothly moves out of the way and you send him a look behind your shoulder. "Mm, no thanks. But if you want you can walk with me to order my own drink," you joke, not thinking he'll actually want to.
But, if James was a puppy, he'd be your puppy. You have him wrapped around your little pinky and the only person who doesn't see it is you. 
"Gladly," The boy smirks and his arm brushes yours as he walks next to you. You frown a little but don't say anything. You've never minded James's attention, and you know he's been after you for years now, but still you can't wrap your mind around him being serious about it.
In your mind, the attention was always bound to fade with time, and you wouldn't be caught as the fool who'd fallen for it.
However, as you lean against the bar to order another pumpkin juice and you feel James's eyes glued on you, you start to wonder. 
"So, when's the expiration date for this little game?" you ask, looking at him seriously. 
James leans against the bar too and completely turns his body to you. "Hmm? What?" he asks with a smile. He tucks the loose strand of hair from in front of your eyes behind you ear, seemingly proud of himself when he can see you clearly again. 
"This," you point at him, and then throw your arms up dramatically, "Whatever it is that you're doing."
James just smiles. He's not really catching on as his hand slides closer to yours on the bar counter. "What am I doing?" he whispers, leaning in. He has that look in his eyes, the one that makes your stomach flutter. 
You move your hand away from his. You sound exhausted, "All this flirting! Aren't you done yet?" you say it a little loudly and the woman who hands you your drink sends you a glare. Your cheeks heat up and you mumble a small sorry as you slide her your money. 
James catches your other arm before you can turn around and walk away from him. "Hey wait, what do you mean am I done? Do'you want me to be done?" he sound unsure and you can see his confusion on his face. 
Now you're confused. "Are you not planning on being done?" you whisper.
James can't hear you over the loud music and chatter inside so he moves you outside gently and you don't have to time to wonder why you let him.
It's slightly dark but the air is warm and James can hear you now when you ask the question again. He looks you over, still extremely puzzled by the entire situation.
"Wait, done with what?" he asks.
You blink at him. "What?" you feel like you're losing your mind. 
"Am I done with what?" he asks camly and you roll your eyes. 
"Done with flirting with me!" you exclaim, running a hand in your hair, "I- I don't understand, James. Why haven't you moved on? Sure, it was funny for a while but it's been years, even you must find the joke stale by now?"
James mouth opens and closes like some kind of fish and then he stares at you like you have lost your mind. "Joke? What joke?" he says and walks a little closer to you. He sounds even more confused. "Y/n, do you want me to stop flirting with you?"
You bite your lip, "I mean, yes? Because, it's not really funny anymore. I didn't mind it, Potter, but —" you pause and then hold the drink in your hand tighter. "Okay, here. What if I say I like you too? Can we just have a good laugh about it and then it all be over?"
James's frown deepens and he waves his arms in the air. "Wait, you think I'm joking?"
You blink at him again. "You're not?"
James runs a hand through his hair, chuckling in disbelief, "Of course I'm not joking," he walks even closer and you feel his presence as your skin tingles. You look up as he brushes his thumb on your chin and then smiles warmly, "I'd never pursue anyone as a joke. If you said you like me, then I would say thank Merlin and then I would kiss you until you couldn't feel those gorgeous lips of yours," he says it so calmly but you almost drop your drink. 
"Wait, so you actually, no-jokes, like me?" 
"Oh yeah. Why would you think I was making that up?" James moves his thumb to brush over your lips now, a look of adoration in his eyes, "I'm not that committed to my jokes," he teases. 
He pauses to think, "you think a twelve-year-old boy would write you cheesy love notes every class and actually send them if it was a joke? Or likewise, a sixteen-year-old would spend all of 6th year reading every single book you borrowed from the library just in case he had the chance to impress you? Or lose sleep over the way you wear your hair, or know that you change your nail-polish every week but you rotate the same colors since 4th year," James blushes a little at the admission and pauses, "and now I just sound like a creep, don't I?"
You laugh and the sound makes James grin. You hesitate but touch his cheek, tilting your head, "So, you meant every over-the-top gesture and every hilariously stupid pick-up-line?" you ask, "ever since 2nd year?" 
James nods, leaning into your touch. "Mmm yeah, but we can pretend that I was joking about the pick-up-lines that way it's less embarrassing for me," he says sheepishly.
"But I liked your pick up lines," you pout with a smile, your shoulders relaxing. 
James's eyes sparkle, "Yeah? You did?"
You smile at him. "No, but now it's funnier that you were serious about them."
James looks at you and he laughs. He throws his head back with a grin and your chest tightens even more. Has he always been this handsome or have you just never let yourself fully admire him? James looks at you again and his next words almost cause a heart attack. "Merlin, I've never wanted to kiss you as much as I do now," 
Your eyes flicker to his lips unconsciously and you realiz ehow close he is. You're nervous now and James can tell. Gently, he takes the drink in your hand and sets it on the small ledge of the building. It might fall but that's the least of your worries. For now, you need to focus on remembering how to breathe. 
Something must be different in the way you're looking at him because James asks you if he can kiss you. Years and years of flirting and he's never asked you that. 
You don't answer him and just when the silence starts to become awkward you take his cheeks in your hands and pull him towards you. Your lips hit his clumsily and you gasp into his mouth when his arm swoops behind you and he pulls you closer. James kisses you hungrily and you start to wonder why you hadn't done this years earlier.
When James disconnects his lips from yours and looks at you sweetly. "I didn't think you'd say yes," he whispers, "even less that you'd say it like that," his cheeks are tainted pink and your lip-gloss stains his lips. 
"Neither did I," you admit and look away a moment. Goosebumps run across your arms and, because you don't know where to put your hands anymore, you put them in your jacket pockets. You frown and pull out the galleons you'd used to pay for your drink with your left hand. You look back at James and he looks guilty. "What's this?" you ask. 
"I paid for your drink when you weren't looking. I knew you'd most likely say no again but I couldn't resist. I'm sorry," he holds his nape and sways on his feet.
You stare at him, slightly annoyed but also impressed that he'd put the money in your pocket without you noticing. You outsrech your open palm for him to take the money. "You'know, you make it very hard for me not to fall head over heels in love with you, James Potter."
James grins and closes your hand around his. "That the point, love," he says. 
You roll your eyes, realizing if he'd gone behind your back to pay for you he'll never accept your money now. "So, are you gonna ask me out properly or what?"
James smirks, "Are you going to say yes this time?"
You grin, "You'll just have to find out now, won't you? Tenth times the charm?"
"I don't think that's the expression—"
"Just ask me already, you idiot," you giggle.
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crescenthistory · 2 months ago
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did i hear you say you were writing another animagus!reader x regulus where they cuddle at hogwarts in each their cat forms? 🥺🥺
you know what they say, don't believe everything you hear... except for that, that's actually true
Words: 2.4k
Warnings: not proofread, fem!reader, copious amounts of fluff, established relationship, bsf!remus, background wolfstar, reader and reg are kinda goody-two-shoes, platonic physical affection
Note: read more about cat!animagus!reader's shenanigans with reg, wolfstar and james here & here
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Sweet Like Honey; Karma is a Cat
What a conundrum.
Remus should take this as an opportunity to be a good friend. You have spent almost two decades showing him exactly how to do that, playing the perfect part of the sister-he-never-had, loving and supporting him through life. For never turning your back on him, Remus is sure he owes you far more than what he can ever repay you, so he should try every single day. He should be a good friend.
But it was just too funny not to.
"At what point is it our duty to wake them up?" Sirius' voice whispered in his ear, shaking with mirth.
"I'm wondering the exact same thing." Remus dragged his words out to avoid making a decision. "How long do you think we can get away with?"
"I mean, they are already 15 minutes late to their Charms lesson, so we're dead men walking for not having said anything so far."
Remus is just able to tear his eyes away from you to glance sideways at Sirius, a too-fond smile already playing over his lips as he sees the exact mischievous look on his boyfriend's face that he expected. The look he fell in love with, not that Remus would be sappy enough to think about that right now. "So what you're saying is..."
"Leave it for a while longer?" Sirius grinned.
"Leave it for a while longer." Remus confirmed, whispering through a laugh, shifting his body further into Sirius' side as he lets his eyes fall back on you.
Well. On what he and Sirius knew to be you and Regulus, but what all other students in the library thought was just two cats sleeping in an armchair.
There was an elongated square of sunlight cast onto the middle of the seat by one of the beautifully decorated windows of the ancient castle, every cat's dream spot. The green velvet covering the seat of the mahogany chair was already riddled with fur from how long the two of you had been curled up around each other in it, white, grey and black hairs mixing together. Your forms might as well be mixing together too, fluid in a way that defied physics yet looked impossibly comfortable. Remus supposed you had to milk as much pleasure out of being an animagus as possible to make that whole mandrake leaf ordeal worth it. Though you could not answer even if he asked you right now, he was sure you at this very moment thought it was.
Remus' smile widened as he saw your chest rise dramatically as you breathed a sleepy huff, turning your head over slightly and burrowing it further into Regulus' plush neck. Your little cat bodies laid facing each other, arms around each other in a way he thought looked a little too much like a human hug.
It would be the absolute picture of serenity, two young things with no care in the world but each other – had it not been for the large clock ironically hanging right behind you, reminding you that you were not supposed to be here right now.
The four of you – five before James ran off the second he spotted red hair a few shelves back – had spent your two hours of shared free periods to read up together, for once actually doing a considerable amount of studying during it. Sirius was rubbing it in your faces, yours by consequence and Regulus' by design, that you still had one lesson left for the day when you abruptly stood up and demanded that you need a study break. When you then promptly dragged Regulus off into a corner, Sirius got the karma of a lifetime as he grew very concerned about what kind of break you would be engaging in. That was until the two cats lazily strolled back in and made themselves comfortable in the chair they now claimed as theirs.
Knowing you, Remus knew you hadn't intended on falling asleep, but maybe the fact that you did meant you really needed it. Yes, surely, you must have been exhausted and your body demanded a rest, so frankly he is quite an amazing friend for ensuring you listen to your health and your needs.
"Cats shouldn't be allowed to be that cute," Sirius all but grumbled as he looked at the two of them. "I should hate them on principle, but look at them Moony!"
"Quite literally no one is demanding that you hate cats on behalf of Padfoot, Siri."
"Padfoot is!" Sirius gave him a you can't argue with that logic look, but Remus knew he could.
"Ah, yes, my boyfriend the dog," he mused, cocking an eyebrow at Sirius who promptly reached out with his finger and pulled it back down.
"I could so give you a comeback to that, but I respect you too much not to say it in public," Sirius muttered and Remus couldn't fight his laughter.
Something moving in his periphery brought his attention back on you, seeing you shift even more into Regulus which caused him to begin stirring as well. Go back to sleep, go back to sleep, Remus whispered to you in his mind.
As always, you didn't listen to him, and ever so slowly Remus saw you peel one yellow eye open, blinking blearily at the room before turning your head back towards Regulus. The greyest of your four paws came up to gently pet at the black cat's neck, almost as if you were smoothing over the fur you had ruffled in your sleep. It made Remus' heart ache with love for you both, even as his stomach was slowly dropping.
A soft prrt! escaped Regulus before he instantly began purring and tightening his hold on you with his little cat paws, nosing his head against yours. A kind of softness Regulus rarely let himself fall into in public, though this was arguably a grey area.
It almost looked like you were about to be driven back into sleep by the vibrations moving through you from Regulus' chest. Remus noticed Sirius paying attention raptly as well, which was unfortunate.
Because when you shot up out of your seat with a small squeak, jumping as if startled as you looked towards the clock – now a good 30 minutes into your 45 minutes lesson – Sirius let out a loud bark of laughter. It earned him more than a few hushes from those around, but most importantly, it earned him your head snapping around to look at him with eyes that could rival a basilisk’s.
Considering Remus was already on a streak of making disloyal choices towards his loved ones, he didn't fight his instinct to stand up from his seat and back up when you ran and jumped onto the table right in front of Sirius' face with a hiss. You slapped at him with a clawless paw to which Sirius whispered something along the lines of "hey, knock it off, be cool" while trying to hold you at arm's length. You scowled at him as aggressively as any cat could, raising your back slightly before you arguably tut-ed at him and jumped back down.
Remus fought for his life to not laugh.
You turned around and ran over to Regulus who was still lazily stretching and gaining his bearings, not an ounce of care shown towards the near-assault of his brother. Nudging him with your head towards the end of the chair, he got the point and jumped down, already falling into his usual graceful mannerisms.
Together you scurried off back into your corner.
When you came back a mere minute later Remus swore there was no difference in your facial expression. Remus carefully walked around the table – where Sirius was still sitting with a petulant pout – hands up in surrender.
You crossed your arms, leaning your weight onto your right hip as you glared at your oldest friend, clearly expecting him to speak first. Behind you Regulus was strolling over, looking like he was trying really hard to be miffed but falling just short.
“How dare you,” you said – and it was a statement, not a question.
“In my defence,” Remus started, hands still up but so were the corners of his lips. “You two looked adorable.”
“That will surely hold up real well with the professor,” you scoffed.
“We didn’t make you fall asleep, princess,” Sirius grumbled to which you turned to him with a bitch please look Remus is fairly certain you picked up from Sirius.
“Apologies for expecting my friends to have my back. How stupid of me.”
“Very stupid indeed,” Sirius murmured as he took a sip of his coffee, grimacing when he found it to be cold. He nearly spilled some when Regulus gave him a light slap up the back of the head.
Remus figured it was time to pull out the big guns.
He manoeuvred his held up hands to be stretched out towards you instead with a rueful smile as he inched closer and closer. You had a moody expression still, eyeing him with suspicion, but you didn’t move out of the way. He dared make a small cooing sound as he brought you into a hug, coddling you like one would a child after they hurt themselves to keep them from crying.
“‘M super super sorry, lovie,” Remus half-muttered half-laughed into your hair as he rocked you a little bit. Your arms were still crossed against his chest, but you were leaning into him. 
“Don’t believe you, Loopy.” 
Regulus snorted at that and Remus looked up at him over his shoulder and the boys shared a look of humour and shared love for you that warmed his stomach. Though when Sirius nipped at Regulus’ sleeve to get his attention, the faux-miffed expression was plastered right back on the younger boy’s face.
Siblings, Remus thought and chuckled a bit into your hair.
“You laughing at me?” you questioned incredulously. 
“No, I’m laughing at our boys.” His response was quick to rid himself of any further accusations.
You instantly nodded against his shoulder. “Understandable.”
“Hey! Don’t bring me into this, amour.” Regulus' chiding tone was met with you uncrossing your arms at last, reaching a hand out behind you blindly, which he immediately took and squeezed with his own.
You let your other arm curl around Remus’ back. Forgiveness at last.
He pulled back to look down at you with a goofy grin, and was pleased to see you could no longer contain yours either. “You were really cute. Didn’t want to disturb you.”
You gave him a look. “Right, no laughing at our expense whatsoever.”
“Never.”
You gave him a light shove while you snorted, pushing him away from you. “This is what I get for my sacrifice for you?” you said as you shook your head at him not much unlike McGonagall would during detention.
“I would argue you got a pretty sweet deal with that sacrifice, doll, seeing as you can curl up with your equally sacrificial boyfriend and sleep in the library whenever.” Sirius nodded solemnly, while jutting his chin towards Regulus. “This one would never let that happen in any other form.”
“Oh, I’m sure I could’ve convinced him,” you replied, looking at Regulus with an almost salacious smile. As if to prove your point – or just to prove Sirius wrong – he came up to stand closer behind you, arms going around your waist. You leaned your weight back against him with a happy sigh.
“Disgusting,” was all Sirius offered.
You raised an eyebrow at him before turning your head sideways to give Regulus a short, sweet kiss.
“Disgusting,” he groaned once more, pressing the backs of his palms into his eyes.
“Karma,” you and Remus sing-songed at him at the exact same time in the exact same tone. 
Your eyes met in surprise before you both burst out laughing, any pretend fight seeping out of you as you both beamed at each other.
Siblings, Remus found himself thinking once more.
“Well, now that we don’t have a lesson to get to anymore, I suggest we get out of here,” Regulus sighed, squeezing your hips as if to underline his point.
“Where we heading?” Sirius asked as he swung his legs out to get up.
“I don’t know where you’re going,” you started. “But Remus will go hunt down a certain Head Boy and get him to make up some excuse to Professor Flitwick for why Regulus and I did not attend class so that our absence is removed from the records.” You put on your sweetest smile as you turned towards Remus at the last part.
“Regulus, what have you done with her?!” Sirius stage-whispered his accusation at Regulus who only responded with a certain impolite gesture.
“And why would James do that?” Remus drawls, certain that his entertainment was written all over his face.
“Oh, I’m sure he owes you for something, you figure it out.” You spoke as you tried to put your bag over your shoulder to leave, but Remus and Regulus both reached for it at the same time. They gave each other a look, trying to decide who will take the literal burden, before they both turned to Sirius and dropped the bag in his lap. He rolled his eyes at the both of them, but pulled the strap over his free shoulder nonetheless. 
“You are quite the minx, aren’t you?” Remus asked, going for chiding and landing somewhere along the lines of compliance.
“Learned from the best, Rem!” you cheered brightly, pressing quick smacking kisses on both his and Sirius’ cheek.
Before they could muster up a response or a reaction, you had already hauled Regulus down the halls of the library towards the exit with half-heartedly hushed giggles. The raven-haired boy looked over his shoulder right before you turned the corner with a barely-contained smile, inhibitions straw thin in your presence.
Remus understood him well.
He turned to Sirius with a pleased smile to find him already admiring his reactions from where he stood beside him.
“I get why they’re cats,” Remus mused as he interlaced their fingers, following the general direction you ran off to, ready to hunt down James and possibly claw up some furniture. 
“Because they’re adorable but also massive menaces?”
Remus breathed out contently. “Yeah.”
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yeonives · 4 months ago
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📁 SHH SECRET RELATIONSHIP - PSH
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엔하이픈 성훈 ୨୧ f ! r ・ 13OO fluff, oneshot 1cw ・kisses, petnames >o< feedbacks and reblogs are highly appreciated and encouraged! ── archive あり
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YOU NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D FIND YOURSELF IN THIS SITUATION, let alone with someone like sunghoon. after all, he was your sworn enemy—or so everyone thought. in public, the two of you couldn’t stand each other. insults flew, glares were exchanged, and everyone knew you were at war. but behind closed doors, it was a different story.
you sneak into the empty classroom, the one that’s always deserted after hours. your heart races as you check the hallway, making sure no one followed you. it’s risky, but the thrill is half the fun.
“you're late,” a familiar voice drawls from the shadows, and you turn to see sunghoon leaning against a desk, his arms crossed, a smirk playing on his lips.
“and you're as annoying as ever,” you retort, but your tone lacks any real bite.
he steps closer, and suddenly, you forget how to breathe. it’s ridiculous how easily he can do that to you. he cups your face with his hands, his touch surprisingly gentle for someone who spent the whole day throwing snide remarks your way.
“i missed you,” he murmurs, his eyes softening as they meet yours.
“missed you too,” you whisper back, the confession barely audible, but you know he hears it. he always does.
the world outside that room fades away as he leans in, his lips brushing against yours in a soft, sweet kiss. it’s slow, unhurried, as if you have all the time in the world. in these moments, it’s hard to remember why you’re supposed to hate him.
he pulls back just enough to rest his forehead against yours, his breath warm against your skin. “why do we even bother pretending we don’t like each other?” he asks, his voice tinged with amusement.
you sigh, threading your fingers through his hair. “because it’s fun,” you reply with a grin. “and because if people knew, they’d never let us live it down.”
he laughs, and it’s a sound you’ve grown to love. it’s rare to hear him laugh so freely, without the walls he puts up around everyone else. you’re glad you get to be the one to see this side of him.
“you’re impossible, you know that?” he teases, pressing a quick kiss to your nose.
“takes one to know one,” you shoot back, sticking your tongue out at him playfully.
his eyes sparkle with mischief as he pulls you closer, his arms wrapping around your waist. “you’re lucky you’re cute,” he murmurs against your lips before kissing you again, this time deeper, more passionate.
your hands find their way to the collar of his shirt, tugging him closer as you lose yourself in the kiss. every touch, every caress, feels like a secret only the two of you share.
“we should get going,” you say reluctantly when you finally pull away, reality creeping back in. “someone’s bound to notice if we’re gone too long.”
sunghoon groans, resting his chin on top of your head. “yeah, yeah, but can’t we stay just a little longer?”
you chuckle, giving him one last peck on the lips before stepping out of his embrace. “later,” you promise, reaching for his hand and giving it a squeeze. “meet me here tomorrow?”
he grins, that familiar cocky smile that makes your heart skip a beat. “wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
with one last glance, you slip out of the classroom, already missing his warmth. as you walk down the hallway, you prepare to slip back into your role, ready for the glares and the insults.
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zepskies · 7 months ago
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Wanderlust
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Pairing: Soldier Boy (Ben) x F. Reader
Summary: Your wandering hands are keeping Ben up at night.
AN: My nightly daydreams led me to Soldier Boy this time. 😂
I was imagining the Break Me Down-verse for this one (shortly after Checkerboard), but it can also be general Soldier Boy x Reader.
Word Count: 650
Tags/Warnings: 18+ only to be safe. Fluff, innuendo, Sleepy Ben, implied smut.
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You traced down his back with light, trailing fingers.
Lying next to him in bed, with scraps of moonlight filtering through the closed blinds in the window as your only guide, your mind was still drifting even though you should’ve been sleeping.
You couldn’t help yourself.  
You drew invisible patterns across his bare skin. Ben was warm, always warm, even though the AC was making the room almost frigid. You knew it was the ever-present radiator in his chest that made him your own personal heater.
You propped your head up better with an elbow on your pillow as you laid on your side. You then let your hand drift over every dip of muscle between his shoulders, every small freckle you knew just from memory, then down and down his spine.
You flirted with the idea of inching down the sheets, where his bare ass would greet you. From there, you supposed you'd decide what wandering direction your hand took next.
“If you don’t go to sleep,” his deep voice rumbled, “I’m gonna wake up and fuck you again.”
You bit your lip against a giggle, but you didn’t quite succeed.
“It sounds like you’re already awake,” you remarked.
Ben grumbled incoherently in response. He was tired, you knew. He’d just come back from a week-long mission with Butcher and Co. for Supe Affairs. Hence the long night you two spent catching up.
If you were honest, you were still tingling between your legs. Your thighs and ass were a little sore too. Likely they’d be sporting a few fingerprints tomorrow.
You didn't mind it so much though. You two now had a safe word for that kind of thing.
You smirked, sifting your fingers through his hair. It was getting long again. Maybe you’d trim it for him tomorrow, since you both had the weekend off.  
Your hand meandered down the back of his neck, just to begin dragging your nails up and down the slope of his back.
“What does that feel like to you?” you asked curiously. You often wondered how much his invulnerability affected the way he felt things, especially the way you touched him.
“Like a tease,” he muttered.
You applied some more pressure with your nails. Not the way you’d scored his back about an hour ago, when he’d had his sinful mouth all over your body, but enough to be more than a tease. Enough that it would’ve left an angry, red trail on your own “fragile” human skin.
Still, you weren’t able to leave any marks on him. Just a faint whiteness of pressure against his skin that soon returned to normal when you moved your hand away.
“How about that?” you asked.
“Like you’re playing with fucking fire,” Ben said, though you heard the smirk in his voice. “Go to sleep.”
You smiled too.
“We'll pick this up in the morning,” he made sure to add, though he was already halfway back to slumber, from the sound of it.
“Oh, I’m sure,” you said, laughing lightly. You leaned over and pressed a soft kiss against his shoulder. “G’night, babe.”
“Mhmm,” he responded.
He groaned deep in his throat and turned over onto his back. Your smile remained as your body tensed in anticipation, but all he did was slide an arm under your waist and curl you towards him, trapping you against his chest. His hand splayed against your lower back, heavy and warm.
His lips brushed your hair away from your forehead and lingered there. He closed his eyes and let out a deep exhale. You did the same, relaxing against him. Your hand came to rest against the steady thrum of his heart.
Moments like this with him still managed to surprise you…but admittedly, less and less the longer you lived and shared together.
A girl could get used to it though.
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AN: Lol should she have pressed her luck? Let me know what you think of this one! 😉💚
Keep Reading in the BMD-verse:
Next we have a fun, fluffy, angsty, smutty, 3-part Christmas special, Love Actually:
Summary: Ben gets in late on Christmas Eve with a Grinch-like attitude, but you’re determined to force some holiday cheer into his system. At least, you hope you can, before he meets the rest of your dysfunctional family on Christmas Day.
▶️ Next Story: Love Actually
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Ko-Fi Me ☕
Break Me Down Masterlist
Soldier Boy Masterlist
Main Masterlist
BMD Tag List (Part 1):
Including the BMD tag list on this, since that's what my heart was imagining. 😂
@deans-spinster-witch @this-is-me19 @waynes-multiverse @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @spalady26
@spnwoman @syrma-sensei @wirdbeimaufhebengebunden @muhahaha303 @123passwort
@mrsjenniferwinchester @lyarr24 @xoxovienna @lollag0w0 @globetrotter28
@nancymcl @ashbatz @vavafaure1994 @kristophalis @wonderland2022
@emily-winchester @shelh93 @sl33pylilbunny @spoonmynoodle @chernayawidow
@buckybarnes-1917 @asgardprincess97 @sometimes-i-sing @itsyellow @theonlymaninthesky
@kimberleymjw @is-this-a-febreze-commercial @iamsapphine @sanscas @se-fucking-hun
@lassie-bird @jessjad @yepimthatperson @fromcaintodean @stoneyggirl2
@spnfamily-j2 @im-a-slut-for-fluff @lacilou @venicesem @mimaria420
@tearsfortheyouth @agalliasi @chriszgirl92 @kazsrm67 @deansbbyx
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welty4ng · 3 months ago
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TEAR MY WORLD APART!
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call transcript; “adapting is never easy. jiaoqiu supposes he only tolerates it because you’re with him”
cw; spoilers for the current quest !!! f!reader, NSFW (mdni) !! hurt/comfort, fingering (soft sex tbh), not proofread, ugh jiaoqiu i love you so much, fic below the cut, 4.7k words
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When Jiaoqiu first returns home, there’s a heavy weight in his chest.
It felt horribly uncomfortable, having Moze walk him all the way from the docks to his house. It felt even worse to have his companion fish his keys from his pockets.
In his mind’s eye, he knows where everything is. He knows where you keep your plants and how to avoid running into them; still, he tips one over, the crunch of dirt beneath his feet ringing sickeningly in his ears. He knows where every corner of his house is; yet, he hits his shoulder when he rounds a corner a little too soon.
Shamefully, it takes him longer than he’d like to find someplace to sit. He’d never thought it to be so humiliating, to realize he spent so many years seeing the layout to his own home without memorizing it.
He’s unsure for how long he sits, the silence deafening and the darkness blinding. There’s a gnawing, ever-growing pit in his stomach at the realization that this might very well be the rest of his life. A shiver runs down his spine. He doesn’t think he’ll enjoy having his senses heightened any more than they already were.
Jiaoqiu jolts when he hears the front door open, his ears perking up. The sound of your footsteps reaches his ears before you call out his name, your voice gentler than he’s ever heard it.
“Hey,” you say, hushed. Jiaoqiu shudders when your hand finds his knee, trying to soothe him. His hands ball into fists on his lap.
“Hey,” he echoes, slightly strained. The weight in his chest grows heavier when you thumb at his knee. It’s horrifying, how he can practically picture the pity on your face — he’d never thought he’d be at the receiving end of it.
“General Feixaio told me what happened,” you whisper. Jiaoqiu’s ears twitch when you cup his face and he immediately nestles into your palm. Your thumb is gentle against his skin, caressing his cheek with the utmost of care. “I’m so sorry, love.”
There’s a lump in his throat, a million words on the tip of his tongue — ‘I’m okay. I’ll be fine. It’s nothing serious. I just need to adapt.’
All that he musters is a quiet, shaky, “I want to see you.”
Jiaoqiu wonders if you look as broken as he sounds.
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Being molded into a homebody is not unideal, but Jiaoqiu has far too much to do.
He wonders if that’s why Feixiao sent Moze to inform him of the leave of absence he’d been granted.
It should be welcome. It is, to an extent, when guilt doesn’t chip away at his conscience; when he doesn’t feel like he’s a burden—
The clatter of pots makes him jump, his tail puffing up before matting back down. He exhales, low and unsteady as you call out a sheepish, “Sorry.”
Jiaoqiu doesn’t think he can complain. Not when you’ve carved out time from your schedule to look after him — to help him adjust, or whatever bullshit Moze claimed Feixiao had said. So he’ll endure the ringing in his ears when something is just a little too loud, endure the tangy, bitter smell of something burning, and offer a patient smile, followed by a soft, “It’s okay.”
Because he knows you’re trying.
Cooking was never your thing. He’d never let it be, because, why would he ever let you dirty your hands when he could do it instead?
Part of himself feels guilty that you’ve been forced into a myriad of things that fell under his attention. It’s an ever-growing sense of uselessness that weighs on his chest, burrowing deeper with every ‘tap’ of the knife on the cutting board.
He presses his back against the wall, trying to suppress the familiar urge to take over the cooking for you. A knot forms in his throat when he hears you softly hiss, his eyes yearning to open and treat whatever wound you must’ve gotten.
When a soft rush of water reaches his ears, he inches off the wall just enough, taking a step toward the noise. It feels slightly disorienting, trying to guide himself simply through hearing. Still, he tries, awkwardly stumbling in your direction with an outstretched hand.
A shaky exhale leaves his lips when he touches your shoulder, his tail awkwardly flicking to the side when you jolt at the contact.
“Let me help,” he whispers, his fingers instinctively squeezing your shoulder. There’s something so horrid about being able to hear your breaths before you even speak. He loathes how clear he can hear your breath falter as you hesitate.
“Jiaoqiu, you—”
“Please.” He’s tired of feeling useless. He has enough to deal with, now that his eyesight is gone indefinitely. He wants to help — to be of use, even if it’s just a little.
The weight in his stomach sinks deeper when you gingerly clutch his wrist. For a moment, he expects you to drop his hand and lead him back to the spot on the wall he’s claimed as his own. Instead, you bring his hand up to your face, letting his knuckles brush against your skin.
“I don’t want you to get hurt,” you murmur, gentle as you press a kiss to the back of his hand. Jiaoqiu wonders what expression you’re making; wonders if it’s pity or sympathy.
He takes a step closer, his front bumping against yours before his free hand shoots out to hold onto the edge of the counter for balance. “Let me do something, at least,” he pleads, a vague hint of desperation lacing his words.
Your breaths fan his face, tickling his skin in a way that has his tail swaying.
“Please,” he whispers, trying to keep his voice from wavering.
There’s a brief moment of hesitance before you ask, “What do you want to do?”
Jiaoqiu’s heart hammers in his chest, a ticklish sort of hope flooding his being. His hand trembles against your face, softly squeezing your own when you grasp it.
“Anything,” he breathes out. “It doesn’t have to be cooking or cleaning or — just let me do anything.”
When your grip on his hand falters, he grasps it tighter, resting them on your cheek. The smell of something burnt fills his senses, but he can’t find it in himself to care; not when he can feel the faint warmth of your skin. “I want to be of use to you.”
His ears twitch when you sigh, his hand trembling lightly against your face. He can imagine the expression you’re making — pursed lips and furrowed brows, deep in thought. Still, he yearns to see it.
“You can help me stir the pot,” you offer, a hint of hesitance to your voice.
The weight in his chest lightens just a little, his fingers tightening around your own in a light squeeze. “Alright.”
It’s a shred of normalcy, he supposes; even if he’s just swirling a ladle. For a moment, it reminds him of a simpler time, back when he was younger and still learning to fend for himself. The soft ‘tap’ of the knife against the cutting board fills his ears, accompanied by your faint humming.
Will you let him keep helping you? Jiaoqiu can’t help but wonder. Would you let him stop being a burden? Do you even think of him as a burden? He hopes — prays — you don’t. He hopes you let him stay by your side, even if all he can do is rot.
It’s all he wants.
So, when you lead him to your dining table, trying to distract him from the scent of burnt meat, he’ll entertain you. He’ll keep his complaints to himself, even if the soup is far too salty; the noodles are a little too undercooked; and the cubed beef is a bit too charred.
You’re both trying, he reminds himself. Perhaps that’s why he can’t find it in himself to care much when he can hear the ‘snap’ of a noodle between his molars. There’s a slight tingle in his tongue by the time he’s done eating.
Still, Jiaoqiu doesn’t complain. Instead, he smiles, softening when your hand grasps his own beneath the table, squeezing twice in a comforting gesture.
“Thank you,” he whispers, hushed. When your breath hitches, a lump forms in his chest. Quickly, he adds, “For everything.”
For a moment, he supposes the only good thing about being blind is that he doesn’t have to see you cry. Though, he supposes it’s worse, hearing you hold back from it — hearing you struggle to remain composed.
When he opens his arms, you rush into him, leaving your chair behind and opting to perch in his lap — just like you’d always done. He holds you closer, instinctively; though, he rubs at your back with hesitance, almost trying to map out the length of your back.
He shudders when you wet the side of his neck. It feels more present, now that his world is shrouded in pitch black. Your cries sound louder, even when quiet and muffled by his skin.
“I’m sorry.” Jiaoqiu’s unsure if the apology is his or yours, the weight growing tenfold in his chest and ringing in his ears.
He can’t tell if the sobs are still yours, either.
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Jiaoqiu learns to rise when you do. His routine morphs into your own, despite your insistence that he rest longer.
Staying in bed doesn’t feel the same without you, he’d argued. You were quick to relent after that.
His feet drag on the floor behind yours, his grip tight around the back of your nightshirt. There’s a dull ache in his head. He bumps into you when you stop, a quick apology tumbling from his lips before he can stop it.
When the sound of rushing water reaches his ears, they twitch, recognizing the familiarity. His hands perch on the edge of the counter, letting go of your clothes. It never takes long for him to hear the soft rustle of fabric falling onto the floor. It never takes long for him to fumble with his buttons, either, before you come to his aid.
“Will you help me wash my hair again?” he asks, quiet as you ease the fabric off his shoulders.
“If you want me to,” you reply, gentle as you help him out of his pants. When your fingers brush against his lower abdomen, he shivers, his tail puffing up as he sucks in a sharp inhale.
Jiaoqiu’s hand leaves the counter, moving to cup your cheek in a practiced (albeit clumsy) movement. Part of himself still feels like a fumbling fool when you move his hand just a little lower, correcting the placement. Still, you never mention it.
A voice in the back of his head tells him he should reject your offer for help — tells him he’s been more than enough of a burden by making you spend more time ensuring he’s clean than you do yourself. Then, a gentler, kinder voice reminds him you’d expressed your satisfaction at being able to aid him. Pride never stands a chance, when it comes to your delight; he realized this soon after meeting you.
So, he lets his finger brush against the apple of your cheek, his voice softening as he says, “I do.”
It’s become almost instinctive, following you. There’s always a certain gentleness with which you hold his hands, guiding him forward as you step into the shower. He hears the quiet scuff of a stool (your insistence, not his) being dragged across the tiles. Your hands remain gentle as you guide him to sit.
“Tell me if I scrub too hard, okay?” The statement is almost unnecessary, truly. You’ve never once treated him with something other than overwhelming delicateness — like he’s made of porcelain. Jiaoqiu considered himself tough, before losing his eyesight. He thinks that shell was stripped from him alongside his vision. He wonders if you know it, too — wonders if that’s why you touch him like he’s seconds away from breaking beneath your touch.
Still, all he says is, “Okay.” Then, after a moment, “Thank you.”
A lump forms in his throat at the beat of silence, his heart hammering in his chest. Aeons, he wants to see your expression — he needs it so desperately. It’s become hard to tell whether he says the right thing or not. Sometimes, he wonders if he oversteps. There are a million words at the tip of his tongue, all of them longing to spill out.
Something soft presses against his forehead, gentle and so, so soft. Two hands cup his jaw, holding him in place before drawing him in. His arms wrap around your middle almost instinctively, his face burrowing into your chest.
“I want to see you,” he whispers, his words muffled by your skin.
Your lips press against the top of his head, tender. Jiaoqiu melts when you cup the back of his head, holding him in place. He wonders if you realize how soothing your heartbeat is to him, currently. Your fingers weave through peachy strands, washing out the shampoo suds from his hair.
“I know,” you reply, your voice barely audible. “We’ll figure it out, love.”
A soft noise rumbles in the back of his throat, his ears twitching and tickling your skin. “Promise?”
“Promise,” you whisper, kissing the top of his head one last time.
For a moment, something akin to hope blossoms in his chest. It’s the first time he’s felt it, since losing his vision, Jiaoqiu notes.
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Normal still feels out of place, though not as much anymore. It’s become a faint, lingering feeling in the back of his mind.
There’s still a vague sense of discomfort at being surrounded by darkness constantly. Jiaoqiu supposes it’s only through the habit of touching that he reminds himself he’s not alone.
He’s only grateful you indulge him, even if it must be a bother to have him hovering and pestering just to stick to you.
The streets of the Yaoqing — have they ever been this noisy? Jiaoqiu can’t tell. It’s uncomfortable, how loudly everything rings in his ears. He thinks he would rather trade the boisterous noise for the bright, vivid colors he used to complain about.
“We’ll head home soon,” you reassure, squeezing his hand as tight as you can. For a moment, he wonders if his distress is palpable (he concludes that, for you, it must be).
“You shouldn’t rush,” he replies, his words trailing off into a quick apology when someone bumps into his shoulder. His hand squeezes yours — the mere thought of separating from you makes his heartbeat spike in anxiety. Jiaoqiu softly clears his throat, quickly adding, “I’m fine, really.”
Neither of you seem to believe it, though you don’t call him out on the lie. Instead, you slow your pace even more to loop your arm with his.
“I was thinking,” you start, pulling him just a little closer to you as you walk, “We could get the ingredients for those noodles you like.”
Jiaoqiu hums, trying to ignore the way the corners of his lips curl up. “That would be nice,” he says, trying to keep his steps matched to yours.
“You could help me make them,” you offer, gently tugging him closer before someone brushes against his arm.
His steps falter for a moment. When he takes a second too long to reply, you rush to add, “Only if you want to.”
A lump forms in his throat, agreement sitting on the tip of his tongue. All he does is exhale. His heart hammers in his chest, thundering loud in his ears. You’re looking at him — he doesn’t need his vision to tell. A hushed, barely audible whisper leaves his lips when you call his name.
“Is it still too soon?” you ask, a hint of worry in your voice. Your hold on him tightens just a little. “I-I figured, maybe it had been long enough to try and ease you back into things you used to do. We can just pretend I didn’t say any—”
“I want to,” Jiaoqiu says, his voice wavering. He isn’t sure when his breath picked up, but he can feel his chest heaving. His tail lightly sways when you place your hand above his own, thumbing at his knuckles.
“Okay.” Your voice feels as soft as your touch. It tickles his nerves, sending a flutter through the pit of his stomach and down to his core.
He leans down, pressing his forehead to yours (a jolt of satisfaction in his chest at the lack of clumsiness). His ears twitch when the pad of your thumb lightly presses into his knuckle. 
“Okay,” he echoes, trying to match your tone. Jiaoqiu softens, gently rubbing his forehead against your own.
Warmth blooms in his chest when you whisper. The market’s ruckus feels like white noise as your words ring in his ears. Like instinct, his lips part before replying in earnest. “I love you, too.”
He wonders if it’s your face that’s burning up, or if it’s his.
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It pains him a little, just how long it’s taken him to ask this of you.
Jiaoqiu feels you shift beneath him, adjusting your position before wrapping your legs around his waist again. He softly exhales, tracing the slope of your cheek with the utmost of care. His heart hammers away in his chest, his tongue darting out to wet his lips.
“Don’t move,” he whispers, breathless as he pokes at the fat of your cheek. When you sigh, he lets himself cup your face, the pad of his thumb lightly pressing into the hollow beneath your eye.
“How much longer are you going to do this for?” you ask, curiosity lacing your voice. Jiaoqiu softens, his tail swaying when you lean into his touch.
“Until I’m sure I’ve memorized everything.”
“I thought you already knew my face by heart?” you reply. The corners of his lips curl up into a smile when he hears yours. He gently pinches your cheek, drawing a soft chuckle from your lips.
“I do,” he says, loud enough so it’s meant for your ears only. “I just want to make sure I know it, deep in my soul.”
A soft hum leaves his lips when you squeeze his waist. His hand moves, his thumb tracing the shell of your ear.
“How smooth,” you mumble, brushing a few peachy strands away from his face.
“I want to make sure it’s all like I remember,” he murmurs, complying when you pull him up with your legs. Jiaoqiu’s ears twitch when his nose bumps against yours, a breathless chuckle slipping past his lips.
His hand trails down, his thumb brushing your lower lip. When you gently kiss the digit, his breath hitches. He cups your jaw, trying to find an angle. You simply follow his lead, letting him lead.
He thumbs at the corner of your lips, your breath fanning against his skin. His mouth presses against yours in the softest — faintest — of kisses. When you sigh, he lets himself mold against you. His tongue traces the seam of your lips, his tail swaying when you grant him access.
There’s a hint of desperation behind his actions. Jiaoqiu wonders if you can tell, by the way his tongue licks at your mouth — almost like he’s trying to memorize the way you taste.
He barely gives you any reprieve, breaking the kiss to catch the slightest of breaths before he’s attached to your lips once more. When his name leaves your lips between kisses, heat pools in his stomach. It’s a feeling he’d thought dormant since he’d lost his sight.
Jiaoqiu doesn’t think he’d mind its resurgence — not after the way you part with a whined gasp, struggling to catch your breath. His lips press against the corner of your mouth, then lower, until he’s kissing a trail down to the spot beneath your jaw.
When you struggle to hold back a moan, heat shoots through his veins. Your hands find the back of his head, your fingers tangling in peachy strands. He complies when you help him up, cupping his face before capturing his lips with your own.
For a moment, Jiaoqiu wonders if you taste sweeter than he remembers.
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“Guide me.”
“Hm?”
A soft, huffed chuckle escapes Jiaoqiu’s lips. His hand moves to cup your cheek, his thumb applying a delicate pressure beneath your eye. He feels you shift on the bed, your legs tangling with his own.
“Guide me,” he repeats, his ears twitching when you yawn. A gentle noise rumbles in his chest, his body pressing closer to yours and his hand moving lower to let his thumb press against the corner of your mouth. Then, he leans down, his lips replacing the digit.
Heat pools in his stomach at the sigh you let out. His tail lightly sways, the ends puffing out when he nips at your lower lip. “You’ve been patient for long enough,” he murmurs, gently ghosting a kiss over your lips.
“Jiaoqiu—”
“No excuses,” he says, “Please.”
After a light kiss, he adds, “Let me do this for you.”
For a moment, he wonders if it’s your heartbeat he hears, instead of his own. He lets his hand leave your face to rest on the underside of your breast, relishing how your breaths stutter.
“You’ve done more than enough for me,” Jiaoqiu reasons, his voice tender as he moves his face closer to the crook of your neck. “I ought to express my gratitude,” he whispers, noting how you shudder as his breath tickles your skin. He presses his lips against the underside of your jaw — right at the spot he knows makes your breath hitch and your thighs clench. “Shouldn’t I?”
“I didn’t do anything with the intention of getting something in return,” you say. He catches on to the quiver to your tone when his ears twitch. His teeth graze your jaw, soft and experimental as he thumbs at the lower part of your breast.
“Isn’t that reason enough to accept my gratitude with open arms, then?”
You shudder, your hand moving to perch on his shoulder when he trails kisses down to your collarbone. “We both know what your gratitude entails, Jiaoqiu.”
He softly clicks his tongue, letting his canines graze against your skin. The hand on your chest inches upward, moving until his thumb reaches your pert nipple. “Even more reason for you to accept, hm?”
His touch softens when you sigh.
“Isn’t it a little too soon—?”
“I think I should be the one to decide that,” Jiaoqiu mumbles. He presses a soft kiss to your collarbone. 
There’s a slight hesitance to your actions — how you seem to mull over his words. His tail sways, lightly rubbing against the bedsheets as your fingers run through his locks.
“Still, I—” your breath catches, your words interrupted by a wanton whine when delicately rolls your nipple between his fingers. 
Heat shoots through his nerves, fueling the fire in his stomach as he pictures your expression — your face all scrunched up, but your lips parted as you pant. Jiaoqiu slows the barrage of kisses on your skin, softy exhaling.
He wants to see it, so, so desperately.
He wants to feel and touch and see. His ears twitch when you sigh his name, breathless. A soft growl rumbles in his chest in response before he presses an open-mouthed kiss on your collarbone.
“Let me take care of you,” he quietly pleads. “You shouldn’t have to suppress your own needs for my own.”
“I’m not—”
Jiaoqiu nips at your collarbone to cut off your words, his tongue gently soothing the spot. “Don’t lie to me,” he murmurs, his words slightly muffled by your skin. “Not when I hear clearer than I ever could.”
Your grip on his hair falters, your breath hitching. He wonders what expression you wear — are you flustered or taken aback? Or is it something entirely different? 
“Just because I’m blind doesn’t mean I can’t touch you like I used to,” he breathes out, gently rolling your nipple between his fingers. You tug on his hair, your breaths uneven. His lips trail kisses along the expanse of your collarbone. “You just need to guide me.”
His fingers leave your nipple, drawing a soft whine from your lips as he trails them down to your hip.
“It’s about time you replace your fingers with my own, after all,” he rasps, kissing a path back up to your jaw, “Isn’t it?”
His ears twitch when a strained whimper slips past your lips. He nips at your skin before pressing a feather-light kiss on the spot. Heat floods the pit of his stomach when you nod against his head, your hand resting atop the one on your hip.
“You’ve been more than patient, love,” Jiaoqiu whispers, his tail twitching against the sheets as you help his hand down between your thighs. He shudders an exhale, his fingers inquisitive as they search for your clit. His breaths become heavy, fanning against your jaw in a way so ticklish that your thighs instinctively press together.
A choked whine leaves your lips, your fingers curling in his hair. “‘s n-nothing,” you murmur, your voice trembling.
He gently clicks his tongue, his thumb pressing against you once he finds your bud. “It’s not ‘nothing,’” he replies, rubbing his nose along your jaw as he begins to circle your clit. “It’s never easy to care for a patient.”
You mewl, lightly jolting when his index finger prods around in search of your entrance. “W-wait,” you stammer, your hand moving to aid his own. His tail thumps faintly against the bed when his fingertips ghost above your folds.
“Here we go,” he whispers, unable to keep the elation from his voice. For a moment, he wonders if you’ve realized the selfish intentions behind his idea to thank you.
Though, he’s sure that even if you have, you probably don’t mind. Jiaoqiu knows how tired you must be from fingering yourself in his stead. Your fingers were never as good as his at bringing you pleasure, after all.
The corners of his lips curl up into a small smirk, his finger pumping in and out of you with practiced ease. “That’s nice, isn’t it, love?” he asks, his voice a soft coo.
“M-mhm,” you shakily hum, slowly rocking your hips against his digit to match his pace.
“Your sweet cunt just needed my fingers, didn’t it?”
He can’t hold back the purr in the back of his throat when you nod, your fingers fisting his peachy strands when he pushes a second finger into your folds.
“N-needed them s-so bad—!” you cry, your voice cracking. Your free hand grasps at his forearm, your breath quick and uneven pants. “‘s never the same when t-they’re mine…”
Jiaoqiu gently shushes you, peppering kisses against the underside of your jaw. “I know, love,” he coos, his voice full of sympathy. “I’ll take care of it for you.”
You moan, your breath hitching as your walls flutter around his fingers. When they curl, you cry, your hips desperately rocking against his hand. “J-Jiaoqiu—”
“Close already?” he asks, though he fails to hide the smile from his voice. You huff and he chuckles, a sense of satisfaction settling in his gut. How long has it been since he’s felt that — felt anything other than a weight in his chest?
Jiaoqiu can’t be bothered to wonder. Not when your cunt spasms around his fingers, your broken cries and moans rising in volume the more he curls his digits against the spongy spot in your folds.
“That’s it, love,” he breathes out, his voice a heavy rasp. “Let go for me.”
When you cry, he can only picture the expression on your face — can only imagine you look just like you’ve always done when you cum. His chest aches for just a moment, then lightens when you mewl his name.
“T-thank you,” you whisper, your words slightly slurred. Jiaoqiu softens when you kiss the top of his head. 
“I should be the one thanking you,” he replies, hushed. He nuzzles into you, slowly pulling his fingers out of your cunt. His chest rises and falls, weightless for the first time in weeks. “For everything.”
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806 notes · View notes
creamflix · 27 days ago
Text
cw: mentions of sex & reader menstruating, nothing detailed or explicit [for nsfw].
read part one here part three
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three years.
three whole years of loving each other in your own chaotic way.
but when the anniversary actually rolled around, you felt like someone had hit the reset button on your social skills. standing in the kitchen that morning, you blurted out, “it’s our anniversary. we’ve been together for a long time,” as if that wasn’t blatantly obvious.
sukuna blinked at you from where he was tying his tie, raising an eyebrow like he couldn’t believe what just came out of your mouth.
“no shit,” he deadpanned, though his lips twitched like he was holding back a smirk.
you huffed, crossing your arms. “i’m just saying. it’s... a big deal, y’know?”
“yeah, yeah,” he muttered, brushing past you to grab his keys, but you caught the way his gaze lingered for a moment longer than usual.
truthfully, neither of you were handling it well. anniversaries weren’t exactly your forte. it wasn’t like you didn’t say “i love you” to each other, but those words carried weight between the two of you — too much to just toss around casually.
and now, faced with the unspoken expectation to do something, both of you were stumbling like teenagers on a first date.
sukuna spent the entire morning at work distracted, fidgeting with his pen and snapping at his coworkers more than usual.
am i supposed to plan something? he thought. i was the one who proposed, does that mean it’s my job? the pressure was getting to him.
finally, he decided to keep it simple: your favorite takeout from university, a nostalgic callback to the start of everything.
meanwhile, you spent your day spiraling in a completely different direction. romantic gestures weren’t exactly your specialty, but the thought of doing nothing felt worse.
so, you left work early and dove into something utterly out of character — a full-on romantic dinner, complete with candles, music, and a dish you’d only ever made once before.
by the time the evening rolled around, both of you were a mess. sukuna trudged through the door first, looking disheveled in his wrinkled work clothes, seven plastic bags in hand, each one stuffed with takeout containers. he didn’t even bother taking off his shoes before stepping into the living room.
“yo, i got —” he started, but froze mid-sentence when he saw you.
you were standing by the dining table, decked out in an outfit that screamed special occasion, with your hair done and everything. the table was set like something out of a movie: a full spread of homemade dishes, soft lighting from the candles, and an awkward tension hanging in the air because, honestly, what the hell were the two of you doing?
“...what the fuck,” sukuna finally said, his voice soft with something you couldn’t quite place.
you shrugged, suddenly feeling self-conscious. “i figured... i’d try something different.”
he stared at you for a beat, then down at the bags in his hands, then back at you. “you made all this?”
“yeah.” you shifted on your feet. “thought it’d be nice. but uh, if you don’t wanna eat it, we can always —”
“shut up,” he cut you off, a grin breaking across his face. “you’re insane, you know that?”
“takes one to know one,” you shot back, but your cheeks were burning.
he dropped the bags unceremoniously on the counter and crossed the room in a few quick strides. before you could say anything else, his arms were around you, pulling you into a hug that was somehow both firm and gentle.
“you’re ridiculous,” he mumbled against your hair. “but you’re my ridiculous.”
you rolled your eyes but melted into his embrace. “yeah, yeah. happy anniversary, jerk.”
he laughed, low and genuine, and for a moment, the awkwardness faded. the food didn’t matter. the plans didn’t matter. just being here, in this little apartment you called home, with him holding you like the world didn’t exist outside these walls — that was enough.
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even after three years together, the idea of using the typical, sugary nicknames made you both cringe harder than nails on a chalkboard. no “babe,” no “sweetheart,” no “love.” for some reason, it just didn’t fit.
instead, you’d toss out things like “dude,” “bro,” or, on particularly annoying days, “boy,” just to get under his skin. the way sukuna’s eye would twitch every time you called him that? priceless.
but sukuna wasn’t innocent, either. his repertoire of names for you was a mix of creative insults and borderline threats, delivered with just enough affection to remind you that he didn’t actually mean them.
“woman,” “brat,” “shit for brains” — those were the classics. and when he was in an especially foul mood? let’s just say the creativity really started flowing.
the funniest part? even in public, neither of you switched it up. at restaurants, when a waiter would ask for your order, you’d say, “he’ll have the steak,” and sukuna would fire back with, “she’ll take the fish,” like it was the most natural thing in the world.
no “my love” or “my darling.” just “he” and “she,” like a couple of reluctant coworkers at a team lunch.
the one time you tried something different, it didn’t end well.
“what’ll it be, babe?” you’d asked one night, trying to suppress a grin as you glanced at him over the menu.
sukuna lowered his menu just enough to shoot you a look so disgusted you swore you could taste lemons in the air. “what the hell did you just call me?”
“babe,” you repeated, forcing the word out like it physically pained you.
he grimaced, his nose wrinkling. “don’t ever do that again.”
you’d burst out laughing, and from that moment on, the unwritten rule was solidified: no “cute” nicknames. not unless you wanted to ruin the meal for both of you.
and yet, despite all of that, there were moments when the truth slipped through. when you were out with friends, you’d proudly call him “my man,” as if daring anyone to challenge the claim.
and sukuna wasn’t any better — he’d talk about you to his buddies like you were the most important person in the world, casually dropping “my lady” into conversations like it was nothing.
but back home? it was business as usual. “yo, dude,” you’d yell from the kitchen. “did you put the laundry in the dryer?”
“hell nah, woman,” he’d yell back. “do it yourself.”
sure, it wasn’t the most conventional display of affection, but it was yours. no sickly sweet terms of endearment, no over-the-top romantic gestures — just you and sukuna, trading insults and sharing a love that, in its own weird way, felt perfect. would you trade it?
absolutely not.
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you and sukuna had never been the type to ooze affection. no heartfelt “good lucks” or mushy “come home soon” texts.
instead, your love language was passive-aggressive threats with just enough bite to keep things interesting.
“don’t fuck it up,” he’d said before your job interview, leaning casually against the counter with a smirk that hid the way his eyes lingered on you a second longer than usual.
“look who’s talking,” you shot back, adjusting your jacket in the mirror. “aren’t you the guy who choked on his coffee before his last one?”
“watch it, brat,” he muttered, grabbing his keys, but his lips twitched.
underneath the snark, though, there was always something unspoken. a silent, shared understanding that you were rooting for each other, even if neither of you would ever outright say it. and during that waiting period — the nerve-wracking limbo between interviews and callbacks — the usual jabs quieted.
it wasn’t a truce, exactly, but you both found yourself going easier on each other. sukuna would make sure you had coffee in the mornings, leaving it on the counter without a word. and you’d restock his energy drinks without him asking, slipping them into the fridge while he wasn’t looking.
when the calls finally came, first for you and then for him, the celebration was as understated as your relationship. no grand hugs or squeals of excitement — just a knowing look exchanged from across the room, a rare, genuine smile curving both your lips.
“guess you didn’t screw it up,” he teased as you set your phone down, but his voice was softer than usual, the edges rounded out by pride.
“guess you didn’t either,” you replied, tossing the comment back at him with a grin.
and maybe — just maybe — there was a fleeting kiss in the mix. something quick and almost shy, as if lingering too long might make the moment too heavy.
“don’t think this means you’re off the hook,” he muttered afterward, trying to play it cool, though his hand rested on your waist a beat longer than necessary.
“wouldn’t dream of it,” you quipped, leaning back just enough to meet his gaze.
this was just the start, the first step in what would be your new life together. and even if it wasn’t wrapped up in the typical trappings of romance, it felt right. because with sukuna, love was never about the obvious.
it was in the things left unsaid, the quiet gestures, and the stubborn refusal to admit just how much you cared — though, deep down, you both knew the truth.
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you still remembered the first time sukuna kissed you.
it wasn’t some grand romantic setup or a scene out of a cheesy romance flick — it was just… sukuna. blunt, stubborn, and perfectly him.
it was after graduation, a so-called “first date,” though neither of you called it that. he had taken you to the same drive-in you’d always gone to during halloween, the one with the faded screen and popcorn that tasted more like cardboard than butter.
but this time, they weren’t showing the usual campy horror flicks you two loved to make fun of. no, this time it was la la land.
you’d raised an eyebrow when he mentioned it. “really? la la land?”
“what? you’re too good for musicals now?” he shot back, pulling into the lot like he wasn’t questioning himself at all. but you caught the way his grip on the steering wheel tightened just a bit, like he was bracing for you to laugh at him.
“no, just didn’t know you had a thing for jazz hands,” you teased, grinning when his scowl deepened.
the movie started, but naturally, the two of you barely made it through the first twenty minutes without bickering. the popcorn bag was snatched back and forth between you, each accusing the other of hogging all the caramel-coated pieces.
“you’re eating all the good ones!” you snapped, clutching the bag protectively.
“you’re imagining shit, woman,” sukuna retorted, leaning over to yank it back.
in the heat of the squabble, with your faces inches apart and insults ready to fly, he kissed you. just leaned in and pressed his lips to yours, all sharp and sudden, like he had decided there was no other way to shut you up.
you froze, your brain short-circuiting for half a second, before he pulled away with a smirk that made your blood boil and your heart race all at once.
“what the hell was that?” you demanded, staring at him.
“you were being annoying,” he said, like that was the most logical explanation in the world. but his smug expression faltered just a little when you glared at him, lips parted like you were about to really let him have it.
“you don’t just kiss someone and then pull away like that, you asshole,” you huffed. and before he could reply, you grabbed him by the collar and kissed him back, pouring every bit of your irritation — and maybe a little something else — into it.
the second kiss was different. softer, slower, and entirely mutual. neither of you pulled back this time, and when you finally did, both of you were slightly breathless.
“still annoying,” he muttered, though the corner of his mouth twitched like he was trying not to smile.
“still an asshole,” you shot back, crossing your arms, though your cheeks burned so hot you were glad for the darkness of the car.
after that, there wasn’t much attention paid to the movie. there was a lot more kissing, though, a lot more bantering between each one. and while neither of you would ever admit it, kissing him made you feel like a stupid, giddy teenager. like you wanted to kick your feet in the air and giggle, even if the thought made you cringe internally.
it was ridiculous, it was messy, and it was entirely the two of you. just the way you liked it.
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your relationship with sukuna had always been a clash of opposites.
back in your college days, he was infamous for his revolving door of women — never the same face twice, always someone new on his arm. sukuna, the loud, reckless heartthrob who could charm his way into anyone’s bed.
and then there was you: exclusive, reserved, someone who didn’t let just anyone close enough to even try. while sukuna’s name was tossed around in gossip, yours carried a quiet weight, a mix of intrigue and admiration.
it wasn’t that you were some saint — far from it. you weren’t a stranger to sex, but you didn’t hand it out like candy at a parade. your friends teased you about your “dry spells,” but you’d always brushed it off. you had standards, that was all.
meanwhile, sukuna? standards weren’t exactly his thing, or so it seemed.
so, when the two of you somehow transitioned from bickering frenemies to a full-fledged couple, there was an unspoken tension between your histories. you knew who he was, what he’d done, and he knew exactly how tightly you held your walls up. still, you worked together, two stubborn halves of something that somehow clicked.
until one night, when things heated up unexpectedly.
it started innocent enough — if “innocent” was a word that could ever describe sukuna. a clumsy makeout session in his dimly lit apartment, his hands tangled in your hair, your breath mingling with his as he pressed you against the couch. it wasn’t your first kiss, far from it, but this one was different. there was a weight to it, a hunger neither of you had acknowledged until now.
“you’re terrible at this,” you muttered against his lips, though your shaky breath betrayed you.
“yeah?” he shot back, his voice low, teasing. “seems like you’re still here, so what does that say about you?”
you rolled your eyes, but before you could quip back, he kissed you again, harder this time. his hands moved to your waist, fingers tracing the curve of your hips, pulling you closer until there was no space left between you.
it escalated quickly, too quickly. his mouth moved to your neck, and you felt the scrape of his teeth against your skin. a shiver ran through you, your hands gripping his shirt to ground yourself. this was sukuna — your sukuna — and yet, this was a side of him you hadn’t faced before.
you froze slightly when his hands wandered lower, testing the waters. for a split second, you weren’t sure what to do.
your mind raced with contradictions: the part of you that wanted to pull him closer, to let yourself get lost in him, and the other part that wanted to smack his hand away and call him out for moving too fast.
“seriously?” you blurted, breaking the kiss and glaring at him. “do you ever not act like a horndog?”
he smirked, cocky as ever, though his hands eased up. “what? you didn’t seem to mind a second ago.”
“maybe because i was too distracted by your terrible kissing technique,” you shot back, though the heat in your cheeks betrayed you.
“you’re full of shit,” he said, leaning back with an exaggerated groan. but there was something softer in his gaze, a flicker of hesitation that wasn’t usually there.
“look, if you’re not into it, just say so. i’m not gonna —”
“shut up, sukuna,” you interrupted, grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling him back down. your lips crashed against his, and this time, there was no hesitation.
it was messy, passionate, a clash of teeth and tongues that left you both breathless. every time you thought you’d had enough, he’d kiss you in a way that made your head spin, and you’d find yourself pulling him closer all over again.
maybe you’d slap him later for being an overconfident ass, but for now? for now, you let yourself get lost in him, in the way he made you feel like you were the only person in the world he’d ever want. and, as much as you hated to admit it, you didn’t regret a second of it.
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sex with sukuna was its own breed of unique — a stark contrast to the wild stories he carried in his history. where you once expected a whirlwind of dominance and filthy words, what you got was something raw and unexpectedly tender, the kind of connection that made your chest ache in the best way. it wasn’t the slow, candlelit romance people wrote songs about, and it wasn’t some grand kink-fueled adventure. it was quiet, comfortable, and somehow, so deeply you two.
sukuna had his reputation, sure. tattoos, a sharp tongue, and an aura that practically screamed i don’t care about your feelings. in his youth, you imagined he’d been the kind of guy who thrived on power plays in the bedroom, leaving women weak-kneed and breathless for all the wrong reasons. hell, he probably relished in it, back in the day.
but that wasn’t what you got.
instead, he was gruff, but not in the way you’d expect. it was the kind of gruffness that came with holding back, with trying to temper himself into someone who could make you feel safe and seen. when he leaned over you, his usual arrogance was softened by something quieter, something he didn’t say out loud but you could feel in the way his hands traced over your skin.
“this okay?” he’d grumble, his voice low, trying to sound nonchalant, but you caught the way his eyes searched your face for any hesitation.
you’d nod, a little too bashful to form words, and he’d pause, eyebrows raising just slightly. “i asked if it was fine, not if you could sit there like a scared rabbit.”
“sukuna,” you’d groan, slapping his shoulder. but your face would heat up anyway, and he’d smirk like the cocky ass he was, though his hands stayed steady, patient.
if you didn’t answer quickly enough, he’d ask again, his actions slowing to a near halt. “hey,” he’d say, leaning down just enough so his lips brushed your ear, “you gonna tell me, or do I have to stop?”
“don’t stop,” you’d finally mutter, voice barely above a whisper, and he’d let out the most obnoxious chuckle, something halfway between pride and amusement.
“thought so,” he’d say smugly, resuming his movements — but gentler than his tone suggested, always so much gentler. it wasn’t about control or ego, though you knew he liked to push you just enough to make you squirm. no, it was about making sure you were there with him every step of the way.
it was new, this side of him that catered to you, the way he’d catch your gaze when he thought you were feeling shy or uncertain. sometimes, you wanted to throttle him for the way he’d tease you, like it was a sport. other times, you wanted to melt into him for the way his hands would guide you, steady and secure, like he had all the time in the world for you and no one else.
but your favorite part? it was always the aftercare.
where sukuna usually thrived on chaos and crudeness, after sex, he was different. softer, quieter, almost dazed. he’d hold you like he was afraid you’d slip away, his arms wrapped around you a little tighter than usual.
“you good?” he’d ask, his voice gruff but quiet.
you’d nod, and he’d huff, pressing his chin to your head. “drink some water,” he’d grumble, even as he was already reaching for the glass on the nightstand.
he wouldn’t joke as much, at least not in the way that made you want to kick him. instead, he’d run his fingers absentmindedly through your hair, muttering about how you’d better not go passing out on him. he’d press lazy, almost featherlight kisses to your temple, your cheek, anywhere he could reach without moving too much.
and if you curled closer to him, burying your face in his chest, he wouldn’t say anything. he’d just hold you tighter, his fingers tracing slow patterns on your back, grounding both of you in the moment.
sometimes, you’d laugh to yourself, thinking about how this man — this loud, sharp-edged, unapologetically rough man — had turned into a vanilla sap just for you. and other times, you’d bite your lip and blush at the thought that he was yours. completely and utterly yours.
you’d never admit it out loud, but the way he took care of you? the way he toned down all the bravado and just was with you? it made you love him more than words could ever say.
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the first real fight wasn’t the playful sparring you and sukuna usually indulged in. it wasn’t the sarcastic quips or half-serious insults that usually left both of you laughing by the end. this time, it was different.
the argument started small, something inconsequential, but quickly spiraled into a storm of raised voices and sharp words. sukuna’s tone was harsh, and your stubbornness was just as sharp. you were used to challenging each other, but this felt heavier, like neither of you was willing to back down.
“you’re not even listening to me!” you snapped, your voice breaking in frustration.
“yeah? and you’re so damn perfect at communicating?” sukuna shot back, his words biting.
the tension was suffocating, the air in your shared apartment thick with unresolved emotions.
and then it happened — he grabbed his jacket, slammed the door, and left.
the sound of the door shutting echoed in your ears, and you froze, your chest tight. sukuna didn’t just leave. not like this.
he left home.
it wasn’t just an apartment. it was the place where you built something together, where you shared quiet mornings and loud, chaotic evenings. it was the place that held laughter, tears, and everything in between.
and now it felt unbearably empty.
you wanted to scream, to throw something, to lash out at the ache in your chest. but you knew that chasing him down with your usual fire would only pour gasoline on the flames. so you swallowed your pride, slipped on your fuzzy slippers, and bolted out the door.
you spotted him a few blocks down, his tall figure unmistakable even under the dim streetlights. his pace was fast, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. he looked pissed, but there was something about the way his shoulders hunched slightly that made your heart clench.
“sukuna!” you called, your voice louder than you intended.
he didn’t stop.
“dammit, will you stop walking for one second?” you yelled again, jogging to catch up to him.
when he finally turned around, his expression was a mixture of anger and surprise. “what the hell are you doing?” he asked, eyes narrowing. “it’s late.”
“yeah, and whose fault is that?” you shot back, before taking a deep breath. no, not this time. no more yelling.
“look,” you started, your voice softer now, though your chest was still heaving from the sprint.
“i’m sorry. i mean it. not the sarcastic, biting kind of sorry. a real one. i shouldn’t have — ” you paused, struggling to find the right words. “i shouldn’t have made it about winning. i was wrong.”
sukuna stared at you, his expression unreadable for a moment. the silence stretched, and you felt the sting of tears prick at your eyes.
“...dammit,” he muttered, his shoulders dropping. “i was a dick too.”
you blinked, surprised. sukuna rarely apologized, and when he did, it was never straightforward.
“yeah, you were,” you replied, a small, tentative smile creeping onto your face.
he let out a low chuckle, shaking his head. “you don’t make this easy, you know that?”
“neither do you,” you shot back, stepping closer.
he sighed, his hands leaving his pockets to pull you into a hug that was as awkward as it was comforting. “you’re lucky i didn’t get too far,” he grumbled into your hair.
“you’re lucky i chased after you,” you countered, though you clung to him just as tightly.
and just like that, the tension broke. it wasn’t perfect — there were still things to talk about, wounds to mend — but in that moment, wrapped in each other’s arms on a dimly lit street, you both knew this was home.
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sukuna would never say it outright — hell, he’d rather swallow nails than admit it — but he had your back when it came to that time of the month.
he tracked your cycle like a tactical mission, not because he was obsessed with you or anything (his words), but because it was easier to prepare than to deal with the aftermath of being caught off guard.
“what, you think i like listening to you whine about not having your stupid chocolate?” he’d grumble, dumping a bag of your favorite snacks onto the counter with an air of exaggerated suffering. but there was no mistaking the care behind the gesture, no matter how much he tried to play it off.
medicines? stocked. pads and tampons? stocked. heating pads? ready to go. hell, he even had a backup stash of painkillers tucked into his drawer at work in case you ran out at home.
he wasn’t perfect, of course. sukuna had zero patience when you were in one of your mood swings, snapping at him for breathing too loudly or sitting “wrong.” but he’d weather it, rolling his eyes and muttering under his breath.
“you done yelling at me, or you wanna go another round?” he’d ask, arms crossed, leaning against the doorframe.
but the moment you started crying — whether it was over a sad commercial or pure frustration — his entire demeanor shifted.
“hey, hey, cut that out,” he’d say, pulling you into his chest despite his grumbling. “you’re not allowed to cry over dumb shit while i’m around, alright? i’ll give you something real to cry about.”
when you were touch-starved, he’d let you cling to him, even if it meant sitting through a three-hour movie you’d already watched ten times. when you were touch-repulsed, he’d keep his distance but stay close enough to hand you water or make sure you were comfortable.
and when you were too tired to shower, he’d step in without hesitation, grumbling all the while. “can’t believe i’m doing this,” he’d mutter as he adjusted the water temperature and gently washed your hair. “you owe me a massage or something after this.”
he’d change the bedsheets without complaint, tossing you one of his oversized shirts afterward. “don’t stretch it out, or i’ll kick your ass,” he’d say, but you both knew he didn’t mean it. he even kept a corner of his closet stocked with clothes he didn’t mind you ruining — shirts and sweatpants that were practically yours at this point, though he’d never admit it.
“don’t get used to this,” he’d say, watching as you shuffled into the living room in his clothes, burritoed in a blanket. but the way his gaze softened as you curled up on the couch, finally comfortable, betrayed him.
for all his rough edges, sukuna handled you with a quiet kind of love — grumbling, sarcastic, but steady. he might call it “dealing with your bullshit,” but deep down, you both knew better.
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it wasn’t a night you’d easily forget — not because of the celebration itself, but because of what came out of your mouth when you were deep into a rum-induced haze.
the bar was alive with the thrum of music and the clang of glasses, laughter and shouting merging into a chaotic symphony that somehow suited you and sukuna. the two of you had ridden in on bikes, looking like a mismatched pair of rebels — him towering, tatted, and menacing, and you just as fierce but smaller, less overtly intimidating.
"you know," sukuna drawled, leaning against the bar with a lazy grin that had been charming women for years, “if you weren’t already mine, i’d be trying to pick you up right now.”
you rolled your eyes, though your own grin betrayed how much you enjoyed the rare moment of his playful charm. “you’re an idiot,” you shot back, taking another shot and wincing as it burned down your throat.
but then, in the lull between his next teasing remark, you blurted it out. “i love you.”
the words landed like a hammer.
sukuna froze, the smirk slipping from his face. the rowdy atmosphere of the bar seemed to fade into static as he stared at you, his crimson eyes narrowing slightly, as if he was trying to gauge whether or not he’d heard you correctly.
"what?" he asked, voice lower than usual, his usual bravado stripped away.
you blinked at him, too tipsy to care about the weight of what you just said. “i love you, stupid. don’t make me say it again.”
and just like that, it was as if someone had pulled the rug out from under him. sukuna, the guy who had once been a whirlwind of hookups and no-strings-attached chaos, was sober in an instant. not because he didn’t like what he heard — no, it was the opposite. it was because those words had been lodged somewhere deep inside him, waiting for the right moment to claw their way out, even if he refused to admit it to himself.
he didn’t say anything right away. instead, he paid the tab, his movements oddly methodical, and threw his leather jacket over your shoulders.
“c’mon,” he muttered, voice gruff as he guided you to the door.
“what’s the rush?” you slurred, stumbling slightly as he helped you onto the bike.
“the rush is you’re drunk and saying shit you don’t mean,” he snapped, though his tone lacked its usual bite.
you didn’t protest after that, leaning into him as he drove the two of you home. by the time you reached the apartment, he was practically hauling you inside, grumbling about how you were a lightweight.
as he set you down on the couch and pulled a blanket over you, the words escaped him, unbidden and softer than he’d have liked.
“i love you too, idiot.”
he thought you were out cold, your breathing slow and even. but the faintest smile tugged at your lips, and a quiet mumble escaped you:
“heard that.”
he froze, a flush creeping up his neck. “shut up and go to sleep,” he barked, but the gentleness with which he tucked you in betrayed him.
you didn’t say anything else, and neither did he, but the air between you felt lighter, warmer. it wasn’t perfect or grand, but it was yours — messy, stubborn, and just enough.
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woso-dreamzzz · 3 months ago
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Helper IV
Mariona Caldentey x Child!Reader
Summary: You show Mariona around
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The car pulls up and you rock back and forth twice on your feet. You tap your clipboard in sets of twos as the car door opens.
Mariona steps out, looking around and shaking everyone's hands before her eyes finally rest on you.
She kneels down to your height, a smile on her face. "Hello, y/n."
"Hi!"
She glances around. "Where is Lia?"
You shrug. "Somewhere. I'm showing you around!"
"You are?"
You nod earnestly. "Uh-huh! I've got a clipboard!"
"I can see that."
"I see you've found our special helper," One of the staff says," Y/n is a big part of the team. She keeps everyone in line."
You nod. "Captain Kim says it's an important job. People have to listen to what I say."
"Well, I suppose I should do the same," Mariona says.
The tour starts at the gym and you lead Mariona in by the hand. She marvels over how big it is as you tick it off from your list.
Next are the pitches.
They're big and green and Mariona talks about how she was at Barcelona for ten years.
That's a long time, you think. You're only little so Mariona was at her old club for longer than you've been alive. That's a very long time and Barcelona is a lot hotter than England so Mariona must have spent a lot of time being hot.
She plays for Spain too though so you suppose that she must have been used to it like how you're used to the rain and clouds of England because you were born here.
"And this is Win."
"Win's not on the list," You whisper to the staff member after looking down at your clipboard.
You hadn't factored in seeing Win and that makes your tummy get all fluttery in a weird way. You wrote out your list specifically for this moment.
Mummy always says having a routine and a plan is important.
Like in the morning when you wake up and brush your teeth before getting dressed, having breakfast and doing the dishes right before you leave for training.
You do that everyday and it makes you feel nice and prepared every time for training.
Mummy even lets you tap the front door twice before getting you in the car.
You tap your clipboard in rounds of two anxiously as the tour is delayed while Win gets belly tickles from Mariona.
You shuffle forward a little bit, leaning against her shoulder as she crouches down to stroke Win.
"She is cute, huh?" Mariona says and you nod, still tapping your clipboard.
"I didn't know Win was coming out," You whisper, just low enough for only Mariona to hear," I'm sorry."
Mariona shakes her head, easily tucking you under her arm. "It's okay. You didn't know."
"But I should have! I'm sorry!"
Your eyes water and the staff have the decency to turn off the camera and turn around as Mariona pulls you into a hug.
"It's okay," She says," I don't mind."
"But I'm sorry!"
Mariona feels nice and warm. She holds you like Mummy holds you, turned away from everyone else and hidden in her neck.
"It's alright," Mariona says, rubbing your back in a quick one-two motion.
The tears don't fall as harshly anymore, just a few running over your cheeks. You yawn, completely exhausted and Mariona stands.
She lifts you up with her, resting you on her hip as you lay your head against her shoulder, eyes sagging shut.
You're very tired. It was a late night for you as you made your list and then an early morning to get here before Mariona. All of that coupled with your sudden crying fit has left you so tired and in desperate need of a nap.
Mariona's shoulder is comfortable and she's so warm that your eyelids drop automatically and you shuffle a bit in her arms to get more comfortable.
"Oh!" Mariona says," Are you having a little sleep?"
"Yes, please."
"Alright then. I'll wake you up when Lia's here to pick you up."
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wannabeschyulersister · 3 months ago
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sleepy berzatto
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Part of you didn’t want to wake him up. He looked so peaceful as he slept. For once, the anxieties of the day couldn’t mess with him.
He was still in his work clothes. You could tell that he meant to just rest his eyes for a few minutes before he fell into a deeper sleep. He was supposed to pick you up from the airport when your flight got in.
You touched his head lightly brushing his hair away from his face. It stirred him awake.
“(Y/n)?” He mumbled. He felt like he was in a dream.
“Yeah, it’s me, Carmy.”
When the realization hit, Carmen quickly stood up from the couch stumbling a bit. He was clearly still half asleep, “Fuck! I fell asleep. I’m so fuckin’ sorry, Baby. I didn’t mean to-“
You reached out to steady him, “Carmen, relax. Michelle sent a car for me. They didn’t want to wake you.”
He took a deep breath and pulled you closer to him, “I’m sorry.” It felt so nice to be in his arms after weeks of not seeing him.
“Don’t be. I made it safely. We’re together again. That’s all that matters.” You rubbed your hand soothingly on his back. You didn’t want him stressing at all during your visit.
“How was your flight?” He asked as you took your coat off.
“It was fine. I read for most of it. I had the whole row to myself.”
He grabbed your coat and went to set it on the hook near the door. When he joined you on the couch, he quickly captured your lips with his. Now that he was fully awake, he could show you how much he missed you.
“Three weeks is too long for us to be apart, Berzatto.” You said before he kissed you again.
“I’ve been goin’ crazy wishing you were here with me.” Carmen confessed.
“I have too. Sugar is probably tired of hearing how much I’ve missed you everyday.”
Carmen chuckled, “She told me that she’s always happy to have you around. You’re the sister that she’s always wanted.”
Your heart soared at his comment. It meant a lot that Sugar enjoyed your company.
“Mikey invited me to dinner at The Beef two days ago. I went and spent some time with him. Richie and Tina ate with us also.”
Carmen was a little quiet, “That’s-that’s nice”
“It was nice, Bear. I enjoy hearing his stories.”
He nodded, “I’m glad you had a good time.”
You touched his face gently, “When is the last time you spoke to him?”
He shrugged his shoulders a little, “I think three weeks or somethin’.”
“He told me that he’s really proud of you. I am too. I’ve always been proud but when I get photos of the stuff you’re creating, it’s a whole new level.”
Carmen smiled sheepishly. Before you, he wasn’t great at receiving compliments. He could hand them out easily but when it was reversed, he just didn’t know how to handle it. The longer the two of you were together, he was getting better at it.
“I couldn’t do any of this without you, (Y/n).” Carmen said softly.
“I’m so happy to be cheering you on. I wish I could come visit more but work has been insane and I barely got the time to come for a few days now.”
Carmen placed his hand on your thigh and rubbed his thumb against it soothingly, “I feel bad that you’ve been doin’ all of the traveling to make sure that we see each other.”
“There will be a time when you’re the one having to come to me. I don’t mind it right now.”
Carmen kissed your forehead, “I don’t deserve you.”
It tore your heart piece by piece every time he confessed that. You hated that it was a thought in his mind.
“Yes, you do, Bear. I wish you could see yourself the way that I see you. Until that day comes, I will continue to tell you until you finally believe me.”
You wrapped your arm around his midsection and rested your head on his chest. His hand automatically went to your hair. It was moments like this that he cherished the most. All of the stress and headaches were worth it for the moment to be sitting with the love of his life.
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won4kiss · 2 months ago
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﹙ 🎬 ﹚ ────START OF SOMETHING NEW
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(🧺) ── 𝓙EONG JAEHYUN﹙정재현﹚ ꒰ 𝓰. oneshot ៸ fluff ៸ new relationship ୨୧ㅤㅤ WARNiNGS : not proofread ៸ kissing ៸ skinship❞ boyfriend jaehyun x 𝑓! reader ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ ꒰ WC : 1.2K ꒱ SYPNoSiS 𐙚 in which you and your best friend of many years start dating, causing awkward tension between the two of you due to the new title .ᐟ ── LiBRARY
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YOU AND JAEHYUN HAD BEEN BEST FRIENDS FOR AS LONG AS YOU COULD REMEMBER.
he knew all your weird habits, your laugh, the way you’d crinkle your nose when you were concentrating.
every embarrassing moment of your life had happened with him either cheering you on or laughing at you afterward.
but now, things were drastically different—things had changed in a way that made it feel like you were meeting him all over again, only this time with a fluttering in your chest that hadn’t been there before.
the two of you had crossed that invisible line between friendship and something more, and it was all so weirdly new.
the kind of new that made your heart race whenever he looked at you a second longer than usual, or when his fingers brushed yours by accident. ── 𝖬𝖮𝖱𝖤 𝖴𝖭𝖣𝖤𝖱 𝖢𝖴𝖳 .ᐟㅤ
the kind of new that made you forget how to act around him.
it was silly, really, considering this was jaehyun—he’d seen you at your messiest, your silliest, your most real self—and yet now, with every little thing between you feeling heightened, it was like you were on some sort of invisible tightrope.
tonight was the perfect example. you were at his apartment, a familiar place where you’d spent countless nights before.
it was supposed to be like old times—the two of you curled up on the couch, some random horror movie on in the background, a bowl of popcorn between you. just two friends enjoying a movie night together.
but instead, both of you were sitting a little too far apart.
the popcorn bowl was nearly empty, but neither of you dared to reach for the last few pieces.
the silence was comfortable but tinged with this somewhat strange awareness.
your knees were close enough to touch if either of you shifted just slightly, and you found yourself too aware of every time he glanced over at you.
you caught his eye once, and for a second, his gaze softened, his lips curving into a gentle smile that made your heart flutter.
but then he quickly looked away, clearing his throat, and you did the same, focusing on some random scene in the movie you weren’t even paying attention to.
the tension in the air was thick, and you could almost laugh at how strange it felt—this was jaehyun, your best friend, and here you were, both acting like it was your first time in a relationship.
eventually, the movie ended, leaving you both in a silence that felt louder than anything else.
jaehyun reached over to grab the remote, his hand brushing yours, and you felt a warmth rush to your cheeks at the simple touch.
he paused, his fingers lingering against yours for just a second too long before pulling back.
“you know,” he said softly, his voice barely breaking the quiet, “it’s weird, isn’t it?”
you turned to look at him, your heart pounding. “what is?”
“this,” he murmured, gesturing between the two of you. “being… like this. with you.”
you smiled, feeling your nerves settle just a little.
“yeah. i guess it is a little weird.” you glanced down, finding comfort in the way his fingers still rested on the couch cushion near yours, close enough that you could feel the warmth of his skin. “but it’s nice, too.”
he nodded, his gaze still on you. “i just… i never thought we’d end up here. i mean, we’ve always been close, but now…” he trailed off, looking away, the tips of his ears turning the faintest shade of pink.
you’d seen him blush before, but this was different. he looked almost vulnerable, like he was trying to piece together something he didn’t quite know how to say.
“yeah,” you whispered, not trusting yourself to say much more.
your voice felt too loud in the silence of the room, and you almost wanted to pull back, to crack a joke and bring things back to normal.
but there was something in the way he was looking at you that made you stay right where you were, letting the moment stretch out between you.
and then, slowly, like he was testing the waters, jaehyun leaned a little closer.
his eyes searched yours, and you could feel his breath, warm and steady, mixing with yours in the small space between you.
your heart pounded, your own breath coming shallow, and you saw his gaze flicker down to your lips for just a fraction of a second before he looked back into your eyes, as if asking a silent question.
you nodded, feeling an excitement and nervousness swirling inside you, making your hands tremble a little as you reached up, touching his cheek.
his skin was warm beneath your fingertips, and he leaned into your touch, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment before he opened them again, the warmth in his gaze sending a shiver down your spine.
he tilted his head, bringing his face closer, his lips hovering just inches from yours.
your heart was beating so fast you could feel it in your throat, and you closed your eyes, waiting, feeling the anticipation build until you were sure you’d burst from it.
and then—he stopped. you opened your eyes to find him looking at you, a mischievous grin spreading across his face, and he let out a quiet laugh.
“what?” you asked, confusion flickering in your mind as you tried to ignore the way your cheeks burned.
“just… i can’t believe i’m about to kiss you, and all i can think about is that time you had that horrendous garlic breath during your first kiss,” he said, his grin widening as he tried to stifle a laugh.
your mouth dropped open, a mix of embarrassment and amusement bubbling up in you. “jaehyun! why would you bring that up now?”
he laughed, a deep, warm sound that filled the room and eased the tension that had been building all night. “i can’t help it. you told me about it right after it happened, and i just… i guess it’s something i’ll never be able to forget.”
you groaned, covering your face with your hands. “you’re actually the worst, you know that?”
jaehyun gently pulled your hands away, his laughter fading into a soft, affectionate smile.
“i’m just saying, if i kiss you, i want it to be better than that,” he teased, his voice low and warm.
your heart softened, and you couldn’t help but smile back. “well, lucky for you, i didn’t eat any garlic today.”
“good,” he murmured, his voice dropping even lower as his fingers brushed a strand of hair behind your ear.
this time, he didn’t hesitate—his lips found yours in a kiss that was slow and gentle, each second drawing you closer as he wrapped his arms around you, holding you like you were the most precious thing in the world.
when you finally pulled away, the two of you stayed close, your foreheads touching, a quiet giddiness settling over you.
“guess it’s not that awkward anymore,” he murmured, his thumb brushing over your cheek as he held you close.
you laughed, feeling like everything had finally fallen into place.
the two of you spent the rest of the night cuddled up on the couch, teasing each other about old memories, talking softly about things only the two of you knew.
only now, every touch, every smile, felt a little warmer, a little more special.
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© WON4KISS 2024 do not repost, plagiarize, or translate.
NOTE. FIRST NCT 127 FIC !! i can't believe they’re actually taking jaehyun away like just spare everyone the pain and take me instead pls.
୨୧ TAGLIST OPEN ‹𝟹 @mioons @nshmuras @suneng @pnghoon @shawnyle @laylasbunbunny @privareum @briefsaladfun @cyjzzl @sol3chu @txtlyn @d-dilemma @deezbin @iluvnikism @rikibwn @wonsprincess @niawonn @pockyyasii @kiss4noo : COMMENT OR SEND AN ASK TBA.
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thesilmarillionblog · 3 months ago
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𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄 ── Part 2
Click here to read the first part.
Summary: In the hopes that things would improve between you, you choose to lose your virginity to your friend Dean Winchester because you have been in love with him madly for a long time. However, he doesn't feel the same about you.
Pairing: Dean Winchester x F!Reader
Warnings: +18! (Minors DNI),smut, unrequited love, angst, reader gets hurt, arguments, jealousy
Word Count: 5896
A/N: English is not my first language.
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Dean hung out on the second floor with his new girlfriend while you and Sam watched TV. There were no audible voices. Well, you couldn't hear anything that far away, at least. You couldn't stop your mind from concentrating on them, even if you didn't want to. Your head hurt from the mix of the TV's sounds and the rain. Actually, the pain was in your soul.
You waited for regret to surface so you could condemn and despise yourself for opening yourself to Dean, your friend. But despite your best efforts, you were unable to sense remorse. You knew that you would do it again if you had a chance, taking back all that happened. How could you refuse him? You wished to memorize every moment of that night by being able to see every expression on his face. It was ridiculous that something so basic could no longer be made possible. The moments you spent with him are now only vague memories in your mind. All you could recall was the touch—his touch. It was still lingering on your skin. That would be enough.
It was clear to you from the way he laughed with her moments ago that the moment you had spent with him days before meant nothing. It was simply another hookup for Dean. Though you didn't think you'd reveal the truth from your side, you wondered what Sam would say about it. Sam was a good man, but you really weren't supposed to reveal to him that you slept with his brother since it would be too embarrassing. Additionally, you had given your virginity to his brother, whom you referred to as a "friend." There was no way you could tell him this.
You couldn't even recall the name of the show that was on TV. From time to time, Sam cracked up at the jokes. At least one person was feeling good. You looked at him attentively and observed that he had his attention on the show while he ate his popcorn.
He turned to face you, seeing your serious expression as he observed how you were reacting to the joke. In your arms, you held a pillow.
He said, “What's that look?”
“Seems like someone is enjoying, huh?”
“Why not? We all deserve a little relaxation after working so hard as hunters, don't you think?” He remarked, grinning, and turned down the TV. The instant the room was silent, you realized how much the noise had hurt your head. 
“Like your brother?” Compared to what you had anticipated, you sounded more serious. 
“Dean being Dean, you know.” Sam sighed and made a quick statement. Yes, you were aware of it. 
“How is your arm, by the way?” you said with a troubled look on your face. You've been feeling terrible for Sam because he kept you protected throughout the hunt and then ended up hurting himself. He was always considerate and cautious of you and Dean. It was in his nature. 
Sam smiled reassuringly and said, “It's fine. You know, things go wrong, and as long as you save the day, it's alright to get a little bit hurt.”
Stating, “I didn't want to get distracted that easily. I'm not sure what's wrong with me these days, but I promise I'll get better.” The claim that you were acting in this way without knowing why wasn't true. You were certainly aware of the exact cause of your growing distraction. 
If only Sam could read your mind and understand. Otherwise, there was no way for you to tell him straight what happened between you and Dean that night. You had any, yet deep down you needed to talk to someone. But you were very, really embarrassed. It's not like you were teens; you and Dean are grown ups. Reasonable ones, obviously. On the other hand, exposing your situation to him would be the same as declaring your love for him and would reveal your feelings for him.
“Really, Y/N, it's all right. What is done is done.” Sam looked at you, totally shutting off the TV. “Ignore what Dean said. You know how protective he is all the time. If you were the one who was harmed by me, he would say the same things. Though he may have come off as tougher, his intentions were good.”
"I'm afraid that's not true, Sammy. I mean, I know his intentions were good, of course, but I guess I touched his nerves this time for real.”
You attempted a smile, but it did not reach your lips before you realized Sam was trying to soothe you.
Sam replied awkwardly, “He cares way too much about the people he really cares about.” At these meaningless remarks, you both halted for a little period of time. “Well, it wasn't the best way to put it, but you get the idea. You might understand if you were raised by an older brother. He's not a bad person; there are just moments when I don't understand him.” 
“Of course not,” you cut him off right away. “You don't even have to say it. Don't get me wrong; I'm not saying anything negative about him. I would never.”
“I know, I know...” Sam spoke quickly. “Still, I'm simply advising you not to think too much about what he said previously, all right? We've been hunting for more than a year; it's not that he doesn't like you. Remember that a year ago, it was he who offered the invitation for you to join that team?”
You ultimately nodded as Sam attempted to convince you that Dean didn't mean to hurt you. 
“Yes,” you murmured to yourself. “Considering how often you two sustain injuries, a nurse would be beneficial. I wonder if Dean was looking for a nurse for himself and his little brother, or if he was looking for someone with hunting abilities.”
“Let's say you're just talented enough to take a part in that very humble team,” Sam laughed. “And you're being a nurse is just another plus.” 
You sighed and then gave him a genuine smile, saying, “Fine, if you say so.” You had finally been somewhat diverted from your thoughts about Dean and his girlfriend by a brief conversation with Sam. 
Curious, you said, “How about you and Ruby, by the way? It seems that you two have become a very good couple, haven't you?”
“We're looking for something…to work out. But it's okay for now,” Sam remarked hesitantly. You found it amusing that he was so forthright about everything else than relationships. 
“You seem to be very much in love.” Not knowing how to present the matter to Dean without taking any suspicion, you offered an innocent glance to Sam. Sam was smart in every other way. Sometimes he observed and gazed at people as though he could see right through them. 
“She's like no one I've ever met,” Sam said timidly. “I think it will take some more time to work it out, but it's fine so far.”
“I'm glad to hear that.”
“How about you?”
You hesitantly replied, “What?” as he sent you one of his suspicious stares. 
“I've been thinking about lately and come to know... that it has been a year and I didn't even see you with anyone. That seems a little odd, don't you think?” Sam arched an eyebrow. “Are you not seeing anyone, or are you keeping it as a secret or something?”
You shifted on the seat and hugged the pillow against your arms a bit extra to help you unwind. In the end, he knew nothing about Dean or you. There was no reason to be anxious. It was only chitchat. 
“No, of course not!” You stopped him off before he started asking his questions. “It isn't... I'm not interested in anyone right now.”
“Really?” With a look of suspicion, Sam inquired. “We met other men throughout the cases, and they seemed to be interested in you. How can you tell whether you're interested in one of them if you don't give it a shot?”
“Sam, I don't like hookups. Something like that is not what I want.” However, you've turned into Dean's one hookup. The thought briefly ripped through your soul, given how little you've been talking recently, as if there were an unambiguous wall between you that you could not break down no matter how hard you tried.
“That's not what I'm saying. I'm just trying to get the point that you should give people a chance to win you over. How in the world would you know if you liked someone or not without that?”
“I don't want to,” you interrupted, concentrating solely on Dean. It would be simpler to get Sam to understand you if you could tell him how you feel about Dean. 
Sam groaned and said, “Fine. It was just an advice.” 
“I know, thanks,” you responded, putting on a timid grin. “Will you continue to watch TV for a while? It's growing late.”
Sam said, “I think I will,” as he looked at his watch. “Are you leaving?” 
You said quietly, “Yeah,” as you peered out the window to see the weather. It was pouring. You would have hated sunny days even more if you had gotten intimate with Dean on a sunny day. Rainy weather used to be something you enjoyed, but now it just hurt.
“I think it's better if you stay though,” Sam said, taking a deep breath and using one of his fingers to show you the pouring rain. “You're not the best driver.”
With a harsh tone, you said, suddenly tossing the pillow over his face. “Did you just insult me?”
“That's not insulting,” Sam shot it back at you. “I'm just saying that you're no Hamilton.”
You said, “You have no idea,” and you couldn't help but smile as you recalled the day Dean forbade you from driving on rainy days after you nearly had an accident. Dean continued to get anxious when it started to rain while you were driving because of that day. His Baby was more important than anything. 
“Will you be watching TV or?” Taking back the remote control, Sam asked. 
“No, thanks; enjoy yourself.” Setting the pillow down next to the coach and stretching your arms, you yawned. 
You couldn't help but notice the agonizing heavy feeling in your chest as it began to flare up again like tiny needles as you made your way upstairs. Even though you didn't want to hear anything, you were listening for any sounds coming from Dean's room. As you passed, your movements almost seemed to slow down, but you quickly realized what was going on, and you entered the dark room where you would be spending the night, as if your brain didn't want to hear anything.
You had been repeatedly asked to leave the same house by Dean and Sam and start to live with them, but for whatever reason you were unaware of, you had refused. If they repeated the offer, you would most likely take it immediately. God, even if you just lived in the same house, you would probably fall even more in love with Dean. During hunts, it was even sufficient to see him for a few hours. Your heart ached to think about his face, his grin, and every joke he ever told.
Has the night some weeks ago caused you to ruin what you had? You didn't feel any regret, but as you noticed that Dean was becoming more aloof, regret started to consume you.
You'd just gotten out of the shower when your hands found one of Dean's t-shirts. You desired to wear it like you had some weeks prior. Back then, it wasn't a big deal; instead of complaining, he would just make jokes about how little and amusing you looked in them. But things were different today, and you knew it wouldn't be proper to wear it while he had a girlfriend.
If he truly had affections for someone, you didn't want to spoil things for him.
They laughed a little too loudly as you lay down on the bed and pressed his t-shirt against your chest as if it would bring him further closer. Dean's laughter mixed with Jo's. You tried, devastated, to focus on the soothing sounds of the falling rain and on the absurd or hazardous situations that had transpired during the hunts. It was useless. 
That was the moment you became aware of how really alone you were. Perhaps Sam was correct about telling you to pursue a romantic connection. However, how could it be possible when you were already deeply in love with someone? Anytime Dean was around, your heart felt like it was going to explode. You had no idea how to handle things like that. 
You set his shirt down and let it fall to the ground, acting as if doing so could shield you from the overwhelming feelings that Dean had given you. God, how could you possibly let go of your feelings for him when you couldn't even let go of a single piece of fabric with ease? 
You were so miserable and pathetic that you were unable to stop crying this time. You dreamed of something you could never have as the tears flowed down your cheeks and onto the bed. You will always cherish the beautiful memory the night gave you, but at what cost?
You were sobbing, but you weren't sure if it was from the noises Dean and Jo were making or from the dreams that could only have come true in your head. 
Your impulse to pick up Dean's t-shirt from the floor gradually vanished as your tears dropped to the bed and the pain consumed your entire being. Until today, you had no idea how much you actually loved him. 
“What happened?” With a big smile on her face, Jo placed her fingers around Dean's face and inquired in between laughter. She teased this thick neck with a quick, playful kiss. On his lap, she became still. 
Dean's fingers raised her skirt and were ready to push her underwear aside. Jo continued moving on Dean's lap, making herself wetter by rubbing herself over Dean's boxer, her hands lingering on his wide and bare chest with desire. 
“Nothing,” a rough-voiced Dean said. From the room where you were staying, he thought he heard something. He had heard you took the upstairs before he'd gone to the bathroom. You most likely made the decision to stay since it was pouring rain outside. You definitely didn't know how to drive in such conditions. He shuddered, remembering when you nearly crushed his baby and sent it to his sweet vehicle burial. 
Jo touched Dean's naked chest and paused her palm at his abs, saying, “You seem to be like thinking something else.”
“I wasn't,” Dean lied. It was not significant at all, so there was no need to provide details.
“I was just thinking though,” Jo said, attempting to find the right words to say. 
“About?”
“I think we'd be a great team, you know.” With a sly smile, Jo continued to stroke Dean's abs with the tips of her fingers. “As you are aware, Sam, you, and I would make an excellent team since we are now somewhat of a family, since I am also a hunter. Do you not think?”
Dean moved slightly on the bed, thinking of you, irritated at Jo's disregard for you, as if the details weren't even important. You were a member of the team. He was the one who initially made the offer to you in fact. Besides, they weren't even paired up. He said nothing about it so as not to hurt her feelings or make her feel humiliated if she brought it up. 
“How about Y/N?” In an attempt to lighten the mood and soften the air, Dean attempted to smile at her, but his smile did not reach his lips.
“She's a nurse,” Jo said, as if it were an insult. Dean felt uncomfortable and uneasy because Jo was attempting to push out the details of what she truly wanted to say about you. Despite her best efforts to seem polite, she came out as cunning and bitter. That was something Dean did not appreciate. 
“So?” Dean arched an eyebrow in questioning. “She is the only one still alive due to the terrible things that went wrong; her family was full of hunters just like ours. She doesn't even need to, yet she still has passion. That's very encouraging, in my opinion. I mean, continuing to work in the family business while also doing her professional job responsibilities. That requires guts.”
“Are you defending her?”
“I am,” Dean said in a firm and harsh manner. Jo was still on top of him, trying to get him to say nasty things about you, and he didn't enjoy her attempts at distracting him with handiwork. Dean felt unease and a strong sense of aggressiveness.
He never explicitly expressed his admiration for you for persevering through everything and for having the guts to face your fears. Jo recognized how much he genuinely admired you in his heart when he explained how excellent you were at what you did. Even though you occasionally were easily sidetracked, you were a professional.
Jo sighed, but she didn't give a damn about Dean's opinion of you. In the end, you posed no threat. For nothing at all. 
“I don't think your dad raised you and Sam for doing some charity to the orphan hunters and helping them to find a belonging,” Jo said. Although she made an effort not to seem cruel, it was the reality for her. “I am aware of the danger she took for Sam when you all were hunting last time. It is a weakness to be easily sidetracked in this.”
Dean's eyes grew enraged as Jo carried on speaking in a sinuous manner. She was aware of his dislike of others discussing the persons they cared about in this way. Particularly about the people he respected and gave enough thought to. 
Dean whispered, “Jo,” but it seemed more like he was threatening her. “Stop this fucking nonsense now. I'm serious.” 
“Do you have a soft spot for her or something?” Jo inquired once again. She also bit her lips invitingly while gently raising her skirt to reveal her pussy to Dean's gaze in an attempt to divert his focus elsewhere.
Her eyes were full of promise. In particular, Dean found it amusing when ladies looked at him with such passion. 
Dean immediately felt a sense of relaxation as his hands moved to her hips. He sighed and refused to answer. “Are we just going to talk?” he asked. She began removing her clothes rapidly while he licked his lips and observed. 
“Hopefully not,” Jo laughed in response. She was relieved that she and Dean had stopped talking about you. “Let our bodies talk in their very own, divine language.”
Dean switched the positions before she could say anything more. Now that he was on top of Jo, he was urgently kissing her while his mind was racing with ideas he wanted to put down for the night. 
Dean roughly spread Jo's legs wider and pulled her underwear aside, freeing himself from his boxer. With a single forceful shove that caused them both to moan loudly, he gave his firm cock a few strokes and pushed himself in Jo beforehand. That was an excellent way to get some real comfort now. 
Jo hadn't kept it low at all, so Dean put his hands on her mouth to silence her, causing her to sigh into his hands without intending to wake anyone. He picked up his speed and began to push into her rough and fast enough to satisfy both of them, knowing that she enjoyed being fucked raw and fast and that Dean also wanted to find his release. 
While he continued to fuck her, Dean warned her to "keep it low," suppressing his own groans.
She was, however, loudly groaning in Dean's hands, locking her legs around his hips, matching his speed as she raised her hips, as if she wanted everyone to know that she was getting fucked by Dean. Dean warned her to turn down the volume once more, but it didn't help.
In an attempt to find his release, Dean thrust into her more quickly, giving the impression that he was being forced to come—as if this were a mission or one of his hunts. He was striving to find his pleasure when he felt nervousness take over his body. He wasn't accustomed to feeling this way, especially around women.
His other hand tightened on Jo's tits, and he ran his fingers through her ass to help himself. His movements were forceful and impatient. All he wanted was for her to be somewhat silent so that he could focus more easily. It wasn't like Dean liked to be all crazy harsh on ladies or anything; he just needed to experience the closeness of a true, sincere touch, which was difficult to find at the moment.
He was on the verge of getting there, but he was unable to seize the ideal moment of pleasure and find relief.
Though it wasn't appropriate to think about it right now, Dean's thoughts began to form around the moment he and you had shared weeks earlier as he continued to stroke his hardness into Jo's warm pussy while muttering under his breath. It was as though his body had a mind of its own and knew when it was best for him to get what he was looking for.
His thoughts were hopelessly consumed by the sensation of your tightness and those moments of adorable small sounds that you attempted to hide from him. Dean attempted to concentrate on the woman who he was actually fucking into, not feeling proud of how he thought about you while he fucked Jo into the covers. Thinking about how he fucked you wasn't fair to no one at all. But his own body, which was attempting to steal what it desired by using Jo's body, was not under his control.
Him fucking Jo was becoming a battle between Dean's body and mind. Pleasure and reason; soul and mind.
Jo began to quiver instead of groan loudly, and as Dean withdrew his fingers from her lips, she cried out, “Will you come inside?” 
Dean instantly said, “No,” realizing that he hadn't been wearing a condom throughout his frantic sex with her. “Stay still.”
With a hint of rage, Dean sank his fingers into Jo's flesh and his head into her sweating neck, fiercely shutting his eyes. He was going insane as he struggled with his own thoughts, which were attempting to recall every little detail about your body and how you responded and tightened around his member. He didn't want to go back in time mentally and get pleasure thinking about the night with you while he was inside someone else. It wasn't fair for any. 
It was just an impulse decision made in the heat of the moment. Still, Dean's mind continued seeing the body underneath him to be yours, making him picture every single detail of how he took you and how you immediately clenched around him the moment he entered you. He was taken aback by how tight you were; you were like anyone he had ever fucked. 
As the fantasies overtook his thoughts, Dean became aware of his surroundings as Jo began to speak dirty to him, telling him how much she enjoyed it when he gave her such an aggressive fuck. Dean wasn't aware of himself till now that he started to fuck into her pussy quicker and harder.
Dean's body tensed as his eyes opened. He was pushing his cock in and out of Jo without intending to get off as he thought about you. He was a little caught by what had transpired in a split second. 
Jo gasped and said, “Why did you stop?” To regain his attention, she raised her hips higher. 
“Nothing,” Dean said, losing his temper and collapsing to his side as he felt his cock gradually soften. 
Jo was bewildered, but she became enraged when Dean abruptly quit fucking her and left her feeling unsatisfied. 
She sighed and said, “You want me to get on top?” although she sounded more like she was frustrated. 
“No.”
“What the hell is your problem?” she said, nailing Dean's chest. “Come on-”
“I said, 'no.' Alright?” In an attempt to disassociate himself from Jo, Dean stated. Even though he knew it was just about him, he tried to keep his cool down despite feeling like rage was taking him.
When she realized Dean wasn't in the mood and was most likely experiencing some sort of dysfunctional erection, she simply remarked, “Anyways,” without caring about it at all. “I promised to go out with some friends tonight, you know,” she said, putting on her clothes again.
“Alright. It's pouring outside though.”
“Yeah, and?”
With a sigh, Dean said, “Nevermind,” understanding that you were the only on who found driving in such weather difficult.
Dean quickly showered right after Jo departed the house, then jerked off just after he entered the bathroom. Even if things started to seem strange with Jo, his body still wanted some release to ease the tension. He was horny and furious at the same time. Though he was a man of action and he wasn't the biggest fan of taking himself in hand in the shower like a teenager, it worked this time. It felt good enough.
Dean gasped in frustration, picturing your gentle touches and the way he felt within you while he fucked Jo and how he thought about you while. The easiest way for him to regain control of his body was to stop. That was all—him and you were simply pals who took pleasure from each other for one night. You were lovely, so it wasn't that he wouldn't want to fuck you again, but it would just be weird. That was not Dean's type of thing. 
With one arm folded behind his head, Dean lay on the bed and tried not to think too much. Perhaps he was simply too exhausted.
Even though you were exhausted, your body woke up in the middle of the night due to a headache and a dry throat. You walked silently downstairs to the kitchen so as not to wake Sam, Dean, or his girlfriend. 
You cursed yourself for being so emotional and sensitive, crying your eyes out till you went to sleep. Perhaps you were about to have your monthly period very soon. You were forced to put on your headphones by Dean and his companion in order to block out the noises they created all night.
What a waste, you thought. Believing that once you committed yourself to Dean, things would improve between you two. The situation became worse because of it. There was now such a strong and lengthy barrier between you that, despite your best attempts to remain composed, you were unable to climb it at all without being exhausted. If you were more courageous than this, you would have let everything pass by, turned your back to the team, and concentrated on your actual work. 
After turning on the light and rubbing your swollen eyes, you sipped your water and sat down next to the window. You couldn't even get enough sleep, and you had to work all day. You required a long vacation. 
As soon as you placed the glass down on the kitchen sink, you turned around and saw Dean staring back at you. He was half nude, wearing just sweatpants; his broad chest was all naked. You jumped and gasped in fear because you didn't hear him approaching. 
Dean seemed a little confused for a moment when he saw your ruined hair and swollen eyes, but he said nothing. 
He stated, “You're so jumpy,” in a low voice as if another person may hear them. 
You paused in front of Dean and said, "I didn't hear you coming," but all you did was stand there and remain still, your heart racing. 
Ignoring him and returning to your room was difficult. Though your soul ached and yearned for more time with him, your mind knew that nothing would happen between you.
“Why are you still awake?”
You suddenly snapped, “Why are you questioning me?” but then you added, “I was thirsty.”
He said, “It makes us two,” and grabbed a glass of water for himself.
Can't help but notice how you looked, he remarked, “Your eyes appear somewhat swollen.” He couldn't help making a comment this time, a sense of concern overwhelming him.
Trying to sound convincing enough, you said in a hushed voice, “I just woke up. Couldn’t sleep properly.”
“You're going to work tomorrow, aren't you?” Dean inquired as if attempting to strike up a conversation after such a lengthy period. You haven't been speaking properly recently for the obvious reason. 
You answered, “Um, yeah,” and lightly stroked your hand to see whether it hurt. It no longer did. Thank goodness you weren't seriously injured. You've also taken plenty of time off from work. It would be best if you started working right away to take your mind off of Dean and all that was going on. There was a lot to take in. 
“But can you work though? Is your hand okay, by the way?”
“Yes, I suppose there's nothing to worry about. It's stopped hurting. Actually, I missed my job. It's been too long since I took a break.”
You took a deep breath and went to head back to your room, saying a quiet, "Good night," but Dean stopped you by grasping your arm after he finished his drink. “Wait,” he quietly whispered. 
He released his hold on you and gently caressed your skin in an attempt to apologize for being a little too harsh on you. You turned to face him, perplexed. “Yes?” you said as you awaited his next words. 
He seemed unable to find the right words to say, so he said, “Whatever happened during the hunting... It wasn't just your fault.” The moment he brought that case back, your heart pounded. 
You took a deep breath to keep yourself from being upset as you thought back to what he had said to you, his hurtful remarks, and how annoyed Dean was as a result of your distraction. 
You managed to stutter, “It's okay,” and try to smile sympathetically at him. “You are right in every way. I should have exercised more caution. After all, he's your brother.”
“No, I'm not right about everything.” Dean took a deep breath and held your still-healing hand. “I was responsible as much as you were. After all, I am the team's oldest member.” He attempted to lighten the situation with a smile, but for some reason neither of you felt like it. 
Dead had told you, just to your face, that Sam was extremely important to him, as if you had someone in your life to worry about. He hated himself for not being more compassionate after realizing he was simply being harsh.
“It was just... in the heat of the moment,” Dean made an effort to explain his behavior. But the way your eyes met, it seemed like he meant something very different.
“I know."
“I only wanted you to be more cautious; I didn't want to hurt you.” He looked into your reddened eyes and added, “Not just for me or Sam, but especially for your own good,” with such genuineness that it seemed he could see what a wreck you were on the inside. How messy you were.
“You did not hurt me at all. I will proceed with greater caution, as I had said previously.” You let his hands lightly brush across yours. Your heart had melted at such a simple, one-time gesture. Though you knew you couldn't, your body was aching to get closer to him. 
He finally released your hand after a little while. However, if he hadn't taken it in the first place, it would have hurt less. 
You hoped with all of your heart that this moment in the kitchen with Dean had gone differently. You wanted to be closer, cuddling, laughing, or doing anything else that would be tender and intimate. But you two were farther apart than before. Your eyes would have said everything about how much you wanted him if they could communicate.
“I honestly didn't intend any of the things I said to you before or later. I want you to understand this.”
“I do, Dean.”
Dean said, “I know things are a little awkward between us, but I don't want it to be like this,” before you could say anything more. “I hope that you continue to feel at ease with me. I suppose we haven't discussed it appropriately so far about this.”
Your cheeks suddenly flushed scarlet at the mention of your circumstance, and fear shot through your veins “It's really okay,” you nodded to him and replied in a hurry. “Everything's alright.” 
You felt burdened with the thought that he could be concerned that you might tell Jo. Should that be his worry, you might reassure and soothe him. In a whisper, you said, “I wouldn't...tell Jo.” 
Dean opened his mouth to say something, then scowled instead. His expression showed signs of uncertainty. Given how often they had been hooking up only, he wasn't really sure if he and Jo were a thing at all. 
He felt a little guilty as well as responsible for initiating the kiss that night since he was aware it was him. 
“You know, I don't want you to feel awkward. Don't let anything go to waste or let this ruin what we have.”
Your heart raced with hopelessness again as Dean blatantly said that he wanted nothing to change and that you should move on from the past. At this point, you couldn't tell if he was genuinely unaware of your emotions. It was better if he hadn't even opened his mouth in the first place and stayed silent. 
Since you believed you were trying your best to keep things calm between you and him and maintain whatever relationship you had with him, you wanted to ask him if there was anything you could have done to make him feel that way about you or did you make him feel uncomfortable around you. It wasn't like you were still holding out hope. You were not anticipating this any longer.
Despite his repeated promises not to hurt you, he continued to do so without even realizing it.
You nodded to him quickly and answered, “Of course, I don't want this either,” with a heavy heart. “I would not want to ruin.”
You gave him a little smile and a mumble of "good night," then turned back toward your room. You would have found the strength to cry a little bit more if your eyes weren't sore from crying so much hours before. But at that moment, all you wanted to do was sleep, without really considering anything.
Next Chapter
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A/N: Please, let me know what you think about this one. Comments and reblogs are very appreciated! ^^
Taglist: @procrastination20 @faiirynyaa @deangirl96 @steelthespooder @t1asstuff @slut-for-evans-stan @esposamultifandom @rebecca-hvnstn @monkey-d-hoshizora98 @filmologetica @n-o-p-e-never
@midnightpearlaurora @mango-munchies @zaratahir @sammyxorae @opheliadynah @spxideyver
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nastybuckybarnes · 2 months ago
Text
Mouse Trap
Pairing: Ghost X Reader
Summary: Ghost's little mouse finds herself stuck in a trap. Who better to save her?
Warnings: Violence, Language, Angst, Fluff, kinda unhinged Ghost?, Torture ig, murder, Injuries, self-hate kinda i guess
Word Count: 2.5k
A/n: I'm literally in love with this little series, i think it will forever have a special place in my heart
~*~
Days go by since Ghost last saw you, since he fucked you, and the skulls seem to disappear once again.
His little street mouse has disappeared without a trace.
Ghost is a man of logic. A man who can use the information at hand to come to the most realistic conclusion.
And, in this case, you've realized what a fucking nutcase he is and have decided you never want to see him again.
I mean, what else could it be?
His sour mood is taken out on anyone and everyone unfortunate enough to get in his way.
And today is no different.
His brows are permanently furrowed and his grip on his riffle is unwavering as he and Soap do their rounds.
The Scot is quiet for a long while before deciding to try and poke the bear.
"Still nothin from yer mouse?" He asks, knowing damn well the answer.
Ghost says nothing, doesn't even address the fact that the man has spoken.
"You ever think of... lookin for her? I mean, she doesn't exactly spend time in the safest areas," he presses.
If Soap hadn't spent as much time with the bigger man as he has, he wouldn't have noticed the slight falter in Ghost's steps.
Sure, he'd looked for you, but the idea of you being hurt or even killed wasn't one he entertained.
In his mind, no one would be stupid enough to touch what's his, but people have certainly tried before.
His world shifts slightly, the tension in his shoulders changing. He's no longer worried that you're hiding from him, no. Now he's wondering who would take you and where they'd hide you.
Those are the thoughts that occupy his every waking moment for days, until he finally gets his answer.
While combing the streets for any sign of you -or the hostiles he's supposed to be looking for- there's a gift from God.
On the ground, in what looks alarmingly close to blood, is a skull drawing. And a trail of the same blood-like substance leads him better than breadcrumbs.
"Soap, on my six," he murmurs into his radio, carefully following the blood trail as it leads deeper into the city, into enemy territory.
Soap is quick to meet up with the Lieutenant, eyes and ears peeled as Ghost comes to a halt outside of an old office building.
"Wha're we doin' here, Lt?" He asks quietly, watching his back as Ghost picks the lock.
"Savin' my mouse."
The lock opens with a soft 'click' and he shoulders the door open, staying low and scanning the first room quickly.
He motions for Soap to follow and the Scot does, sticking close as the slowly sweep room after room.
As they go up the stairs, Ghost slows, tilting his head to the side as he hears the sound of muffled voices not far away.
He follows the sound, being extra careful as the voice gets louder and louder, until he can make out the words.
His stomach drops the tiniest bit as they approach the third floor.
He's done this countless times, this should be no different.
But it is different.
You're in there. He has no room for error. Not when your life could be on the line.
A man is speaking, and Ghost takes that as his cue to creep into the hallway.
Soap grabs his shoulder, giving him a strong look.
"This could be a trap. We should call the rest of the team."
The skull-faced man only stares at him for a long while then tugs out of his grip.
"S'not a trap, Johnny. She's in there. You wanna leave, go. M'not leavin without her." With that, he turns back to the hallway and moves forward.
Though he has his doubts, Soap follows closely behind, staying silent as the voice gets louder.
Other sounds are able to be heard now, too. These ones confirming Ghost's suspicions.
Feminine grunts, groans, and cries of pain.
At the sound of your voice, a switch flips inside of the large man and he's quickly and silently moving forward, taking down any hostiles in his path. Anyone that stands between him and you is promptly killed, dropping to the ground with quiet 'thud's.
The man that's been torturing you drops his knife onto the table and yanks your head back by your hair, forcing you to look at him again.
"I'm gonna ask you one last time, doll face: who sent you?"
Your eyes roll in your head for a moment before finally focusing on him.
It's been several days of this, if not longer, and you're starting to worry that your Ghost, that Simon, isn't coming for you.
You still stay strong, saying nothing.
This only seems to aggravate him further. He drops your head and walks back over to his table of torture toys, looking for something suitable for what he has planned for you.
Your eyes flutter to a movement in the doorway of the room, and you feel your heart fill with hope as one of the guards gets yanked into the hallway.
Familiar eyes peer into the room, immediately locking on yours, and you feel safe.
He's here. He came for you.
You knew he would.
He presses a finger to his lips, urging you to stay silent, and you give him a soft nod of understanding. Your eyes flutter back to your kidnapper, and you watch as he picks up a pair of pliers.
He clicks them together a few times then turns to face you, a wicked grin on his face.
"If you're not going to use that tongue, there's no sense in having it, is there?" He asks rhetorically.
He steps forward, grabbing your jaw roughly, and then he's collapsing on top of you, his blood spilling across your face.
You let out a startled scream, jerking your head back as he rolls onto the floor.
The room is suddenly filled with chaos.
A gun is pressed to your head, and Ghost has another man in a headlock, his eyes on yours.
"Keep those eyes on me, Mouse," he orders, making sure your gaze is locked on his as he snaps the mans neck.
"Don't come any closer!" The man holding the gun to your head warns, pressing it against you harder.
You wince but your eyes never leave Ghosts. Not even when he produces a small blade and whips it at the man beside you.
Ghost steps toward him as he writhes on the ground, yanking him up by the collar of his shirt and ripping the blade out of his eye socket.
"That's for lookin' at her. Imagine what m'gonna do to you for touchin' her," he snarls, big hand nearly crushing the man's windpipe.
You stare at them as Soap comes to your aid, freeing you from the rope binding you to the chair.
"Maybe, if you apologize nice and proper, I'll let you live," Ghost whispers, his eyes empty and hard as he looks at the man.
"Look at her with your good eye and tell her how sorry you are."
The man's head whips around to you and he stutters out an apology.
"Now, tell me how sorry you are."
He turns back to Ghost with his mouth open to apologize and you flinch as another gunshot rings out, and then he's crumpling to the floor in a heap, blood pouring from both eyes.
You stare at his corpse, at the dead man who threatened your life, then slowly bring your eyes up as the man who saved you approaches.
"How's she lookin', Johnny?" He asks, crouching down in front of you as Soap presses some gauze to your thigh tightly.
You whine at the pain, and Ghost gives one of your hands a squeeze.
"Not great. Bleedin' real heavy. We can drop her off at one of the med tents and-"
"Not happenin'," Ghost interupts.
He pulls you from the chair and carefully lays you on the floor, working with Soap to try and slow the bleeding as much as possible.
Your head spins as the adrenaline slowly leaves you, and you lift a hand in search of your big soldier.
"Simon," you whisper, vision going blurry.
Soap's eyes shoot up to you, shocked that you know the Lieutenant's real name. He can't help but wonder what exactly would happen when Ghost would go on patrol alone. How many nights were spent with you if he's trusted you with his name.
Ghost grabs your hand in an instant, his eyes over yours.
"M'here, Mouse."
Your bottom lip quivers and tears streak down your temples into your hair.
"Tired... so tired," you whisper.
He shoots Soap a worried look then gives your hand another squeeze.
"I know, but you can't sleep yet, Mouse. We'll stop for a coffee on our way back to base, how's that sound?"
You frown, edges of your vision slowly going dark.
"Simon," you whisper once more, pushing your hand up to dust over his masked face.
Soap watches, eyes full of wonder as Ghost, the man who just murdered over a dozen people, is soft and gentle with you.
Your fingers smooth over his masked lips, and then your hand is tumbling down beside your head and your eyes are falling closed.
"No, none of that. Eyes on me, Mouse. On me."
You try, you really do, but you just need a moment to rest. That's all. Just one moment.
~*~
You're in and out of consciousness from that moment forward, finally fully coming to in a dimly lit room.
You're groggy and confused, blinking several times to get the fog clouding your vision to go away.
When things finally clear up, your heart jumps in your chest and you look around frantically.
This isn't familiar.
None of this is.
"Easy, Mouse. You're safe. M'here."
Except that.
Your eyes dart over to the source of the sound, finding those familiar piercing eyes.
Instinctively, you relax and reach for him, stopping with a hiss when something tugs at your arm.
"Easy, love," Ghost murmurs, reaching out and taking your hand in both of his.
Tears well up in your eyes and you look away from him, shaking your head.
"'S'alright, little one. M'here. Not goin' anywhere anytime soon."
It's true. He has no intention of leaving your side until you allow it. Something he has made explicitly clear to the members of his team.
You look up at him with big teary eyes and his icy heart cracks in his chest.
"Don't make me go. Not back to city, please," you beg quietly.
His gaze softens and he shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut for a brief moment before tugging his mask up over his lips and leaning down to kiss your knuckles.
"You're not going back there. Not if I have any say in it."
Your breaths start coming in faster, more shallow, until you're hyperventalating, one hand grasping at the gown on your chest.
Everything is too much. Too constricting, too enclosed.
You can't breathe.
"Hey, hey! Eyes on me."
You obey, your eyes finding his once more, and he nods encouragingly.
He brings your hand to his chest, flattens it against the thin shirt, and you can feel his heart beating against your palm.
"I want you to breathe with me, Mouse. In... and out."
You slowly copy him, slowing your breathing to match his and keeping your hand against his warm chest the entire time.
Eventually, the feeling of his skin only one layer away is too distracting. You slide your fingers up to the small area of skin between his shirt and his balaclava, stroking it gently.
Your breath hitches at the feeling of his flesh against yours, and you lean toward him, desperate to feel more of him.
He leans forward and takes your other hand in his and you stare in awe, pressing your palm against his. His hands are rough, calloused and hardened, but they feel so good, so right against yours.
You slide your fingers up his forearm, tracing the scars, veins and tattoos while your other hand wraps around the back of his neck, slipping under the back of his balaclava and tangling into his hair.
"Simon," you whisper, tugging him closer by the nape of his neck.
He leans in, scarred lips tilting up in a soft smile at the sound of his name on your tongue.
He presses his forehead to yours, his eyes falling closed a moment after yours.
Carefully, he nudges his nose against yours, then tilts his head to slot his lips against yours.
You kiss him back softly, tugging away after a moment and drawing your brows together.
"What?" He asks softly, his free hand coming up to stroke your cheek.
"Where do I stay? Here?"
He shakes his head, pulling back a bit more after pressing one more kiss to your mouth.
"You'll stay with me. Unless you'd prefer your own room."
You're shaking your head before he's finished speaking, and he nods knowingly.
"Then you'll stay with me. We should only be here a few months longer. Then you can come home with me, if you'd like."
He'd be lying if he said he hasn't given much thought to the future. But after this? After nearly losing you before he truly got to have you? He's not willing to let you leave his side.
You only nod, eyes full of awe and adoration.
He gives you one more kiss, then gets up to get a med officer to check on you.
~*~
You spend a few days in the medical wing, and then, once you're given the go-ahead (under the ever-watchful eye of Ghost), you're changing into military-grade pants and a black t-shirt, and sitting patiently while Ghost laces up your boots.
"We match," you say proudly, beaming up at him when he rises to his full height.
He grins down at you through his mask, his eyes crinkling around the corners, and presses his forehead against yours sweetly.
"That we do, Mouse. Now, lets get you on your feet again."
He takes your hands and gently helps you to your feet, steadying you when you try to put weight onto your injured leg.
Your face screws up in pain, but you push through it, taking a few careful steps with his help.
"You sure you're ready?" He asks warily, watching you intently until you glare at him from the corner of your eye.
"Ready. Want to leave."
He nods, wrapping an arm around your waist and all but lifting you off the ground every time you try to step with your injured leg.
He leads you through the base, his glare sharp enough to have the onlookers scurrying out of sight.
Ever since he brought you back, bloody and wounded in his arms, you've been the talk of the base.
Who are you? Why does the Lieutenant like you so much? Can you be trusted?
That last question has plagued even some of his closest friends.
But as he helps you to the barracks, you lean further into him, you trust him at your most vulnerable, and he knows deep in his soul that you are someone he can trust.
Finally, after what feels like forever, he unlocks the door to his quarters and pushes it open.
The trek took far more energy than you'd like to admit, and you eagerly take a seat at the desk against the wall.
"You hungry?" He asks after a moment of silence, watching you as you look around curiously.
You nod, glancing up at him when he takes a step to the door.
"I'll be back in a minute. Try not to get into any trouble while I'm gone." He can't help but grin when you cross your arms over your chest.
Without another word, he exits the room, leaving you alone to explore.
You do exactly that, carefully taking in your surroundings.
There's a bed, a real bed, against the far wall. Across from that is a small wardrobe.
On the opposite side of the room is a door, and you find yourself limping over to it curiously.
You push it open and flick on the light, your eyes widening when you see the bathroom.
A proper bathroom, with running water that probably gets warm.
You turn the faucet on, watching in awe as it takes only a few moments for steam to start billowing. Your eyes follow the steam until they meet your own reflection in the mirror.
An audible gasp leaves your lips, and you lean forward, staring in a combination of disgust and horror.
You've seen your reflection since hiding out, but never quite so clearly.
The stitches at your hairline are crusted with blood, and you have bruises all over your face. Dark splotches that paint your skin in a way that makes your stomach churn.
How could Simon stand to look at you like this?
You splash some of the water on your face, hissing when it's a little bit too hot. Not a problem you thought you'd ever have.
Turning it down, you wait unti lit cools slightly to try and scrub your face clean, to make yourself more presentable for him, to look pretty.
No matter how hard you try, however, you can't clean the evidence of the torture from your face.
Hot tears streak down your cheeks and you turn your back on your reflection, angry that you ever dared to look at yourself.
At least before, you didn't know what you looked like. You didn't know what your Ghost had to look at, to touch, kiss.
"Mouse?"
You sniffle and wipe your cheeks quickly at the sound of his voice, opening the bathroom door a crack.
He takes one look at your face, at your red eyes and tear-stained cheeks, and he's pushing his way into the bathroom and inspecting you for injuries.
"What happened?"
You shake your head and tug on his balaclava gently.
"I want one."
His brows furrow and you can almost see the gears in his head trying to process what's going on.
"What?"
"Please. Want one... like Ghost."
He cups your cheek gently, big warm hand soothing your aching skin.
"Why? I like seeing your pretty face. Dont want you to cover it up if you don't need to."
This makes you tear up once more and you tug out of his grip, turning your back to him and hiding your face in your hands.
"Need to," you whisper thickly, "not pretty. Not now."
He's appalled by your words, stepping in front of you and gently pulling your hands away from your face.
"Where'd you get an idea like that?"
You sniffle and shake your head, avoiding his eyes.
"Broken... ugly..." Your eyes catch your reflection in the mirror and you glare at what you see, your bottom lip quivering as you try to hold back your tears.
A surprising rush of emotions floods him and he takes a few moments to breathe and steady himself.
He's not used to this whole softness thing. Not great at it, either.
"You think I'm ugly? I've got more bumps and bruises than you can count, little one. Scars, too. Does that make me ugly? Should I forever keep my face hidden from you?"
You frown up at him and shake your head quickly.
He could never be ugly, not to you.
"Then why are you any different? I see these," he strokes the mark on your cheek gently, "and it makes me want to protect you. It reminds me that you're fragile. Delicate. It makes me angry that someone would put their fucking hands on you, but thats it."
He pulls you into his arms and lays a few kisses on the top of your head.
"You're precious, Mouse. So very special, and so beautiful. M'more than happy to prove it to you if you don' believe me."
His voice drops a bit lower, as do his kisses, and you can't stop the smile that tugs at the corner of your mouth.
"There she is, there's my pretty girl," he whispers, kissing your lips briefly then pulling back once more.
"Now, you need to eat something and I need to debrief with Price. Rest while I'm gone, because you're not gonna be doing much sleeping when I get back."
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