#this was supposed to be a shitpost it took more time that i would like to admit haha

[jajatoc]

The shadowlands - a shitpost about coffee and healing.

Inspired by this post that reminded me of crowley

[grimmcheems]

More Buff Chichi 💖💪🏽

Ik it’s been a while but here’s another buff chichi I drew. This was supposed to be like a funny shitpost (I was using one of those out of context images as a reference) but I got serious halfway through lmao, now it has a whole dialogue and extra shading n shi. I literally die everytime someone likes my old buff chichi post and anything dragonball related I’ve made bc I never expected the fandom to still be alive like this when I first started posting (also my aus are rly random and I never expected ppl to actually see and like them oop) and it gives me a good jumpscare when I come back to check my inbox lmao.

Anyways. Here’s Chichi being Stronk, who knows who said it but Chichi heard someone mention her age as if that would mean she would be weak and she took it as a little challenge and grabbed her boys as quickly as she could to put that statement to rest. Trust she’s got some muscles under there, you just can’t see them because these goobers are covering them.

I originally had some extra speech bubbles where she says “I bet I could even lift your father, Videl, and Pan at the same time too!” To which Gohan replies “Please Don’t! You’ll hurt yourself” because he’s the only one worried about her age and health lmao. Everybody else just egged her on. Maybe even Goku gets sad he wasn’t the one lifted instead but who knows. Goten’s line was also altered from “Gohan and Dad really weren’t kidding about you still working out.” But it sounded a bit like a jab at the two and her since it’s unlikely that’d be a thing he wouldn’t believe from either of them. She trained him, like cmon, out of all the people who’d stop training? idk what I was thinking with that line😅

Added trunks last second because it was funny thinking of Bulma struggling with doing the same but only with Trunks, and even funnier when I thought about Vegeta doing it bc he would be half embarrassed but he doesn’t like to lose. (Though it’d be too easy for him and would make no difference since he’s a super powered alien.) Also I thoroughly enjoyed drawing these three together, it was really hard since I’ve only ever drawn chichi out of all three.

[the ref I used: \/]

[heavens-aesthetic-kitchen]

Why the TF2 Defense Trio deserve more recognition

The people have spoken, I have decided to create an essay disguised as a post on this godforsaken website because it's a free country goddammit! (I would have done it either way lmaooo, I have a lot of shit to say about these maniacs) To start this formal essay glorified very serious shitpost, why should you as a tf2 fan care about these 3 men? They're so "boring" and there's not much going on with them. If ya took a second, let's pause with what was being said. YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND to think such thoughts, we must shake you out of cuckoo land by giving you an in-depth look into these three so that you understand where I'm coming from. Let's start in order:

Demoman:

After being in the fandom since 2019, there's always one character I always thought wasn't given much anything in the fandom at all. Even taking ships out of the equation, there's barely any fics I've that focus on Tavish Finneagan Degroot specifically that I've seen that isn't a compilation fic (I read a lot of x readers, don't judge me). Believe me, I checked ao3. I went through Demoman's tags and I tried very hard to filter a lot of the crossover and relationship tags, yet there's less of Demoman himself, than there's him just existing as a side character of a story. Which is honestly sad, I honestly think Demo is one of the more kinder mercs compared to a lot of the team. This man made friends with the BLU soldier, despite knowing that they were supposed to be killing each other. Sure, it's unclear whether or not Demo did actually go through with it and it's just a ruse, because the voicelines in WAR! don't have a set timeline. But I do think that Demo would have tried to keep his friendship with BLU soldier. He's very chill. I've never actually seen him get violent against his friends and family, despite being a drunkard. I honestly think he's one of the sweetest people in TF2, he takes good care of his mom and haunted sword lmaoooo. Jokes aside, he seems like a genuinely good man and I barely see anything that suggests he's sadistic. He's a chaotic and loud, but not bad. Not bad at all. The fact he can still do his job well, even after drinking so much that his body created a whole distillery, is even more impressive. He is damn good at what he does and works very hard. He's had multiple jobs, even as wee little lad. Despite what people think of him, the fact he's getting paid 5 million dollars a year, is proof he knows what he's doing. He loves his job and couldn't bear the thought of not working. I feel like his backstory isn't talked about enough in the fandom either. When you think about it, it's kinda fucked up that he was put in an orphanage by his biological parents until he was in the right age to be blowing people up. Not only that, his eye socket was haunted by the Bombinomicon so that every halloween a giant eye would manifest, attacking him and his friends. Even Medic couldn't help him and instead resorting to scooping the part of Demo's brain where he remembered so he would stop asking. He most likely has a lot of stories for you, I see him as the type that has a lot to say. His past is the most fleshed out and complete out of all the mercs, which I really appreciate, you can do a lot more with him. Also another thing, during Unhappy Returns, he took the time to reassure Soldier that he wouldn't think he's a civilian. He didn't brush Soldier's worries aside and instead comforted him. I wish I had a lot more to say about Demo because I am baffled that he isn't being gushed about as a potential partner. He has the excitement and like zero baggage. A thing I also wanna point out is that he seems to be insecure of the fact he's a black scottish man with only one eye during Meet The Demoman. I may be reading into things a bit too much, but it makes me wanna be like "NOOOO don't talk about yourself like that, bro. You're so cute UGHHH" Also also he's handsome. Sure looks can be subjective, but I still think Demo has a face I would kiss hehe. He looks great with his beard and his cheeky ass smile. GOD I could gush about him all day, but I have to move on rip.

Heavy:

Honestly, I'm having a hard time just finding the words to describe this amazing man without giving him the respect he deserves. But I'll sure try. Heavy has had a difficult life and I've always admired how strong he was. Not just of his muscles, but he endured one of the toughest situations and still kept moving forward with his life even though it was traumatizing. You see why I'm even having a hard time talking about him? I can't really get down into the weeds, without getting serious for a min. I feel like the fandom doesn't give him much credit for being able to deal with so much. He's the rock for his family after his father disappeared (atp I think he's dead, which is the cherry on top this depressing sundae) and I wouldn't doubt that he would be the same for his team. He's a man of few words, but that makes him all the more intriguing. Just because this man has a lot of brawn does not mean he's dumb at all. Despite how he acts in the battlefield, Heavy is observant and clever. Although, it's implied that Spy being Scout's dad is an open secret between the mercs and Miss Pauling, the fact he figured it out without saying it directly must mean he has a lot more going on. He's also educated, getting a phD in Russian Literature. It's not a STEM program, but he actually got a doctorate and went to college, that's a lot more than half of what the mercs did lmaooo. Also he has a bit of a softie side, not just for his mom and sisters, but also other creatures as well. I respect him so much for avoiding violence against those dogs during the Showdown comic. Not only shows what an absolute sweetheart he is, but also how much he's able to think quickly on his feet. Heavy is very direct and blunt, I don't see him as the type to lie about his feelings. I appreciate that he doesn't feel the need to sugarcoat anything, he'll get the job done and he ain't playing. There's no fluff, he knows what he wants and that's to rev up Sasha and ram through sons of bitches without any worries.

I feel like I wanna point out, his story seems the most unexplored in the fandom, even though it has a lot of potential for ANGST factor. I already broke down how sad it is, but I just feel like it isn't said enough. Can I just say how cuddly he looks?! GAH, I feel like he would give the warmest hugs! The way he smiled in Unhappy Returns when he finds out his family doesn't need to live in fear anymore, just melts my heart! He's so protective over his family and friends! I wish I had a lot more to say about this guy because I just can't stop finding more things about him that go unappreciated. I had to literally edit this part so many times before moving on, he just has those little details you don't notice until you take a second and have that OH MY GOD moment

Engineer:

I was getting so hyped, when it was finally our resident southern nerd's time to shine. GOD I have so much to say about this man. It's been over 5 fucking years and I have never stopped simping for this man since 2019, I think I'm gonna go insane from how much I've been repressing, I go feral when he's around. Anyways enough stalling. I don't ever think a fictional character has ever made me swoon quite like Engineer, I really mean that. I have ask and pleaded to whatever god was listening to give me a man like Engie. To me, he is everything I ever wanted and more.

First, I wanna talk about what makes him attractive to me. His accent. His southern charm, UGH he's killing me with that smooth voice and chivalry! I swear this man could make me faint just from existing. The way he smiles is so warm, his insults are so corny I love them. That five o clock shadow GAHH! I'm getting butterflies all over again. I swear I love all three of the defense bois, but Dell Conagher has my heart wrapped around his gunslinger metal finger. All those personal reasons aside, I've always thought Dell Conagher was a very interesting character in the world of TF2. He might not have much screen time or goofy shenanigans like the other mercs, but that doesn't mean you can ignore him oh no no no. This man is important within the whole story of Mann Co and TF industries, his grandfather being the catalyst of the game's events and the comics going forward. The Conaghers are the SOLE REASON why Team Fortress 2's story exists. I find it strange that the fandom hasn't done much with this fact because you can do a lot with this idea. Engineer knows a lot of shit and would be the biggest threat to Helen, if not for the fact that his family has been helping her for years.

Like his backstory, he's not seen much in the battlefield, but he has a lot more going on behind the scenes. Imagine the possibilities. He is damn intelligent and he knows it. While Dell is very sweet and has a southern charm, this is a facade to hide his God complex and sadistic tendencies. If you think this man is just your boring gentle engineer, you've got a big storm coming. It's heavily implied that he sawed off his own arm so that he could use the gunslinger. This man works on projects with Medic and doesn't question the moral implications of putting a human brain in a pumpkin. Hell, he threatened his own employer, even if he was an old man (Granted, Blutarch dug up his grandpa's grave, so he probably should have gotten something a lot worse than just Dell telling him to fuck off). Engineer is more than the texan egghead sweetie pie, he is a mercenary for a reason and I would argue that he might be as insane, if not more than, the rest of the team. No sane man would willingly work with a bunch of war criminals if he wasn't also crazy. That's the thing I really like about him. I love playing as him in the game because it represents his character very well. He technically serves a supportive role to the team with his buildings, but he is a killer with a lot of tools in his disposal, With the right amount of training, he can absolutely dominate in the battlefield.

I feel like he's one of the people that underestimate and assume that he's an easy target, but he's a lot more than that. He has a lot of layers that makes me want to learn more about him and what he has to offer.

In Conclusion:

These guys are cool. Lmaooo okay I won't just end it there. I genuinely believe that they're not getting the recognition that they deserve, they've got a lot more going for them if you pay attention. Sure they might not always be the loudest or most prominant character in the story, but what they lack in quantity, they make up for in quality TEN FOLD. They don't have to be your favourite, but you should at least give them a chance. You never know, they may surprise you.

Okay so thats enough of that, I couldn't find a divider above this message, so you're getting this grainy ass gif. Honestly, I put way too much effort on this shitpost lmaooo, but I just wanted to get my thoughts out in a more concise manner. If you want to add more stuff about these three that I didn't mention, feel free to do so. Anyways thanks for reading

[actual-changeling]

I think in like. 90% of "they're handcuffed to each other" scenarios, they would not care. It would barely affect their work at all. They'd keep them on even once they have the key because this is the perfect 'for the love of God, do NOT get kidnapped again' insurance.

However.

There are those delicious 10% right in the middle of the Diana mess that would make for the most painful, angsty, hurt/comfort fic you can imagine. Arcadia, but turned up to 11.

This was not supposed to be anything resembling said fic and instead stay a shitpost—but here we are.

———

They're fighting over who gets to be in charge of movement immediately, and they do not stop . They keep tripping because they decide to suddenly walk in two different directions, and their wrists are chafed and bloody.

They keep going like that for a while until their lack of coordination and teamwork almost gets them killed, and then they're stuck hiding in a small, dark space, forced to TALK.

Imagine a janitor's closet or a small, windowless bathroom.

First, there's silence.

Then, one of them dares to say a word, and suddenly they're at each other's throats, going straight for the jugular.

Petty fighting turns into insults, which turn into months of pent-up emotions spilling out without any control over how, and they both say things they'll definitely regret later on.

Until it finally reaches a breaking point when Mulder—annoyed, frustrated, confused—cuts her off and says, "You're making it personal again, Scully."

Her mouth closes with an audible click, and she freezes before shuffling as far away from him as she possibly can. He realises he has fucked up. A lot.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"

"Oh, you meant it, Mulder; don't backpedal. You meant it now, and you meant it back then too."

"Scully—"

"Shut up."

She's exhausted. So fucking tired. You made me a whole person to get her to stay, and she'd believed him. Damn it all, she had believed him. Just for him to turn it into a lie and destroy her trust within seconds.

"What does it take? For this thing to come up and bite you on the ass? I saw these creatures. I saw them burst to life. You would've seen them, too, but you were infected with that virus. You were passed out over my shoulder."   "Mulder, I know what you did. I know what happened to me, but without ignoring the science, I can't… Listen, Mulder. You told me that my science kept you honest. That it made you question your assumptions. That by it, I'd made you a whole person. If I change now… it wouldn't be right or honest."   "I'm talking about extraterrestrial life alive on this planet in our lifetime. Forces that dwarf and precede all human history. I'm sorry, Scully, but this time your science is wrong."

He had walked away from her without a second of hesitation, and she wishes she could walk away from him now.

Six years of loyalty and trust, and for what? To end up as the second-best, easily forgotten choice? To be wanted not for herself but as a placeholder, a substitute for someone else?

Forgiveness, over and over, without hesitation, and Mulder took it for granted. Of course, she will do what he wants. Even when he goes behind her back. Even when he tricks her into it. Even when he leaves her behind with barely a word. Even when she has no reason to do it except because it's him.

Because it's personal.

It has always been personal, but suddenly it's a fallacy she spun out of nothing and not the foundation of their partnership.

"I shouldn't have said that, Scully, i—"

I'm asking you to trust my judgment. To trust me.

"Mulder, shut. up."

He hadn't trusted her. She still trusts him and hates herself for it. What's the point of trusting someone when the reward is rejection and loneliness? When he stopped trusting her God knows how long ago?

The skin on her right wrist burns with abrasions, but she refuses to budge. Pain is sharp and honest, grounding and constant. She trusts pain more than she trusts him.

Time is hard to tell in the dark, it could be minutes or hours of waiting until she can feel his fingertips brush against her palm; she suppresses the urge to flinch. Mulder's touch is warm and light, not meant to ask but to offer, and her body betrays her mind and allows him to interlace their fingers.

God, she misses him. 

Underneath all that bubbling anger and lingering betrayal, she misses her partner. She misses him and the person she knows she can be with him—lighthearted, happy, alive. Contented hours of searching through files and writing reports have become a necessary sacrifice; suffocating spans of time she counts down by the minute.

It was never about the desk. It is not about Diana, not really. 

Maybe the darkness makes them both a bit braver, a bit softer around the edges, because she lets out a deep sigh and wills the tension to leave her muscles. If they keep going the way they have in recent weeks, they will break apart sooner rather than later, and she doesn't want to lose him, she never has. 

All she wants is to get her best friend back and to keep him for however long the world will allow. Not a clean slate or a new beginning, but a second chance for both of them. 

Caught between either extending an olive branch or ending up alone, it is easy to choose. Because it's personal, always has been, and always will be.

The pressure around her wrist disappears when she stops trying to keep her arm from him, and he hesitantly squeezes her hand—she slowly squeezes back.

"I'm sorry. for all of it. I never meant to hurt you, but I did, and I'm so, so sorry."

Scully pushes herself backward so she is leaning against him again, and when she closes her eyes, she can almost pretend they're somewhere, anywhere else, and she's finally coming home.

"I know, Mulder. I know."

[screamingcrows]

Note: This was supposed to be a 50 word shitpost, I hate myself. Born from a mixture of being exposed to too much Dr. Ratio art tonight and being a massive coward. Not proofread because this is my 20th hour awake.

Warnings/tags: suggestive, student/teacher, miscommunication, comfort, age gap (reader is university student and Ratio is probably 35 is my bet?)

Minors, ageless, blank blogs will be blocked DNI

Thinking about attending one of Dr. Ratio's classes, and you're a little confused but you've got the spirit. Ultimately, due to a bunch of external turmoil in your life, you end up getting a poor result on a test, prompting him to call you over after class.

With shaky hands, you head up to the podium as your classmates file out, taking the white noise with them and leaving you alone to face his disappointment. It didn't help how badly you'd like to perform well, impress him, hear him praise you.

With your hands rubbing your eyes, an apology had already begun taking shape on you tongue, it never made it past your lips.

"It's come to my attention that you've been struggling with the latest addition to our curriculum, and seeing as you-"

"I really tried, okay? It just- I haven't had enough time and everything went to shit and and-" you can barely get the words out, heart lurching at how much it hurt, wanting nothing more than plead with him to let you stay.

Tears stung in the corners of your eyes, vision blurry already. Probably for the better so you wouldn't risk looking up and seeing his disappointment. You kept your gaze down even as he cleared his throat barely able to focus on the sound. He continued in a strangely gentle tone, it felt almost out of place.

"As I was saying; seeing as you generally perform above average, it stood to reason that something had impeded your studies. If it could interest you, you are welcome to come by my office to brush up."

And that's how you found yourself anxiously pacing back and forth in the hallway a couple of days later. Your attire left little to the imagination, wanting to make sure he didn't regret giving you a chance. After all, his words had been oozing with subtext, right?

His reaction left something to be desired, merely coughing into his hand before turning his head away, beckoning you inside. It was a tense affair, sitting across from him and trying to keep still as he began lecturing. At some point he slid a sheet of questions across the desk for you, observing as you tried to solve them and gently nudging you to the correct methods.

"Doctor? I thought we were, you know, that you'd raise my grade if I uhm..." your voice faltered, seeing him pointedly look away only made your confusion more apparent.

"There was never a promise of raising your grade, this was meant as an offer if you were interested. And as for what you were trying to accomplish with that," he gestured towards you, voice sounding a little strained, "it goes against not only the regulations at this insitution, but most certainly also my own moral compass."

A beat of silence turned into two as shame spread in your body. Of course he hadn't meant it like that. And how did you come up with the idea that he'd offered to raise your grade? This was awful. Maybe dropping his class would be for the better.

"With that being said, I am willing to overlook this little incident if you truly wish to understand. Leaving now won't reflect poorly on your final grades."

It took a couple of minutes of contemplation, but you decided to stay, gratefully accepting the cardigan he slid off his shoulders and handed you, pulling it around your body. He'd looked pleased when you accepted the proposition, a pleasant smile passing over his face before he went back to making sure you not only knew, but understood every part of the theories.

You'd been so relieved when you'd finished, a spring to your step as you waved and left, confirming you'd like to continue next week if he had time. He'd been so pleased by your smile that he couldn't bring himself to ask for his garment back, you'd realise in time and bring it back.

As soon as the door was closed, he was able to stand up from his desk, smile vanishing as his hands gripped the wood tightly, barely able to stifle a groan. He did feel bad for the hardness pressing against his pants, but not enough that the thought of relieving himself didn't cross his mind. It would be a long semester.

[therealjordan23]

gwiles shitpost

ooo

The first thing Gwen had to do was tell Miles, and from some of the stories she had heard from other women, it was always one of the challenging parts. It wasn't supposed to be scary or difficult, but ever since the doctor confirmed her suspicions two weeks ago, anytime she tried telling Miles, she found the words die in her throat every time she opened her mouth. At this point, he must've been under the assumption that she had developed some form of memory loss.

The first night they were married, they had spent the night curled up in bed in Miles’ dimension. Too much had happened in too little time; they simply slept, wrapped up together all night. The next morning, Gwen woke up with her arm resting lightly against his bare chest, and she felt his steady heartbeat underneath her palm. She was relieved to find out that it wasn't a dream, and she had indeed gotten married to the man of her dreams. 

When he finally woke up an hour later, she kissed him with every ounce of passion she could muster, and they had truly become husband and wife in that one final threshold.

And now 4 months into the marriage, she was 2 months pregnant.

“Not that I don't like spending time with you," Hobie said thoughtfully. "But it's also dawn, Gwen. I thought you’d be asleep." 

Gwen had woken up early that morning, before the sun had begun to rise. She detangled herself from Miles' loving embrace, and pulled the covers up to his chin upon seeing goosebumps rise steadily on his chest from being exposed to the cold air. She kissed his forehead and silently dressed herself. Sneaking out, she headed to Hobie’s dimension where she knew he’d just be coming back home after a night of partying. True enough, she had found him, and together, they were taking a morning walk. 

"I needed to talk to you where other people wouldn't listen," Gwen insisted, sitting down on a tree trunk. "It's a secret."

"And Miles isn't in on this because…?"

"That's the problem."

She looked down at her hands and watched them shuffle and fidget. She'd been elated when she thought she might be pregnant, but she had to keep her excitement in check until she was sure. As soon as the doctor confirmed her suspicions, she took sudden permission from the universe to be as excited as possible. Truthfully she wasn't exactly sure if she and Miles were able to have children considering that they were from different universes. It was something they had accepted and talked about before tying the knot, and she was ecstatic to learn that yes, they were able to conceive children. Gwen wondered immediately if it would be a baby boy or girl, whether they would have a son or a daughter. She hoped the baby had her eyes and Miles' hair, and as much as she relished saying Gwen Stacy-Morales to herself often, she was even more excited that her children would share the same last name. Miles was the father of her children and she was the mother of his. 

She wanted to communicate all of this to Miles, but she never found the words.

"Talk Gwendy, what's wrong?" Hobie asked, taking a seat on the ground next to her.

"I'm pregnant."

Why was it so easy to tell Hobie and not Miles? Well, perhaps because Hobie had little stake in it other than being the fun uncle. She and Hobie would not be forever bound by this life that they both created and shared. 

That didn't stop him from turning pale and his eyes went wide. Gwen groaned.

"I don't know how to tell Miles, and you're freaking out, which means he'll definitely freak out, and it shouldn't be this hard! And at this point, he won't find out until I actually have the baby, and just say, 'Hi, this is yours', and, oof—!"

She was cut off by a very sudden and very tight hug. After a moment Hobie jumped back though.

"Sorry, I don't want to hurt you, love," he said, eyes darting to her still flat stomach and laughing nervously. "Congratulations Gwen! I’m so happy!"

Gwen smiled at that, and relaxed for the first time in days. "Really?" she asked.

Hobie looked at her in disbelief. "Are you daft? What do you mean 'really'? Of course, Gwen! Miles is basically my brother, you're like my sister!"

"I'm just nervous."

Hobie moved to kneel in front of her. "About what?"

"About what? About everything! Miles will lose his mind—"

"Why?" Hobie challenged. 

She fumbled for an answer. "B-because he's going to be a father! His entire world is going to change, and suddenly, we're going to have a baby to take care of—"

"Gwen." 

Hobie took her hands gently but with purpose. When she refused to look up, he put a few fingers beneath her chin and tilted her up until her eyes met his. And then he smiled the warmest smile he had ever shown her. 

"No one is going to make better parents than you and Miles," he said very plainly. "Miles was born to be a father, and despite not knowing if he could, he's always wanted kids. And you've always been such a kind, gentle, nurturing person. And even better, you two are in love. That's rarer than it should be when it comes to parents. Hell, I wish my parents weren't separated, but here we are, Gwen. Love between parents is rare to come across these days. I know you'll both love that baby with all your heart because you love each other."

It was surprising how deep Hobie could be, and he had a point. She had been elated in the first seconds of knowing she'd be a mother, because she knew that they were doing this together. That's what a baby was: two lovers coming together to create an entire universe made up of stars from his eyes, planets from her hair, comets from their skin.

"Tell him Gwen. I mean right now when you get home. If you don't, I can't guarantee I can keep quiet for long," he laughed.

She smiled, she leaned forward and kissed his cheek, gave his hair a stroke, and stood, opening a portal back to Earth-1610. Hobie gave her one last hug as she walked through the portal to the front door of their home. Gwen entered just as quietly as she'd left.

The house was still dark. In the bedroom Miles had moved, turning onto his side with his hands bunched beneath the blanket. He was still heavily asleep, his breathing very deep. Gwen took a deep breath. She kneeled in front of him and gently brushed her hands through his hair. It was always soft and thick and curly. She studied his features intently: he had grown up a lot from their teenage days. Miles grew to be around 6’2 while she stayed 5’10, keeping his hair relatively the same. He had a light stubble, and was a lot more filled out and lean.He began to stir slightly at the touches, his eyes slowly creaking open. She leaned forward and kissed him until his eyes opened completely and he kissed her back lightly.

"Are you awake?" she said.

"Hmfph," he gave as a response, his voice thick, blinking rapidly.

She fought back a laugh. "Are you really awake? It's important," she said.

Miles pulled a hand up to his eyes and roughly rubbed the sleep out of them before pinching at the bridge of his nose. He sat up, the blanket falling down and exposing his skin to the chilly morning air and he shivered. He gave his hair a once through with his own hand before turning to Gwen with clearer eyes.

"Sí, mi amor, I'm awake," he said, yawning. "Are you alright?" 

She took a deep breath through the nose, and told herself when she exhaled out would also come the news about the baby.

"I'm pregnant, Miles," she said.

He looked at first like he'd misunderstood her. Then his jaw fell open. His eyes looked down with such concentration she thought he might have been reading an invisible book.

But when Miles' eyes finally snapped back to Gwen, he smiled and his eyes were like fireworks. In one fluid motion he grabbed and pulled her in and rolled over. He tightly hugged Gwen who hugged him back. The anxious weight on her chest finally dissipated, and a garden of flowers replaced it. She told Miles, and it felt amazing.

He was whispering words of adoration in her ear while she just pulled at him tighter and relished the smell and feel of skin.

"I love you, Gwen," he said plainly and quietly.

"I love you too," she returned.

They spent half the day in bed, talking about names, taking bets on whose hair and eyes it would have. Miles insisted it would be the best Spider person; Gwen said she didn't care as long as they were happy and didn't set foot in an abandoned subway tunnel. He brought her food on a tray, insisted they'd buy all new food immediately, fresh food, he'd bring it to her whenever she needed. She laughed and told him it would be months before she'd truly need that.

It had been the best day of Gwen's life, but she knew there could only be one day that could outdo it.

But she'd have to wait 9 months. 

[burningupp]

nine: searching

tw: panic attack! pls don’t read if it triggers you, your mental health very obviously has priority over my stories <3

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series taglist: @sunnibearr @punks-rad @jovialdelusionbouquet @mchslut @vampcharxter @soobin-chois @phobia0325 @lumineeee @thearcher-withglasses @itsallaboutkey @seungminsapuppy @gothmingguk @rindomo @hyunjingin @reighlee-greaves @wannabekris @midnightfury71 @multifandomtrash-dree @kwnshi @wonkiewolfie @kpflyn @lilydaisyyy @jason-peter-n-shitposts

He had no clue where to even look. Music shows generally took place in very large buildings, and those buildings had a lot of windows in a lot of places, as Hyunjin came to find out. He didn’t really know why he was looking for his makeup artist so frantically - sure, she had looked sad, but there was a deep panic spreading through all his limbs which didn’t really make sense.

How had Chan seemed so calm when Y/n walked out? The poor girl was shaking, teary, and it sounded as if she could barely breathe. She was supposed to be one of Chan’s best friends, so how could he just ignore it like that? The distress of a friend had never been something Hyunjin was able to take lightly; not that his makeup artist truly counted as a friend in his case.

He couldn’t ask people who worked in the building if they had seen her for fear of rumors spreading about him dating someone, so he was left with the option of running around the maze-like corridors like a headless chicken. As soon as he spotted a window without anyone sitting by it, he would do a 180 and run back the way he came. He most likely looked insane.

Y/n’s teary eyes kept flashing in his mind, and it made him more and more frantic as time went on. He was climbing stairs three steps at a time, which most likely would result in an injury if he didn’t calm down, but he didn’t care. He was on the eighth floor, panting and sweating like a dog, and if he couldn’t find her here he was going to call the police. She was a small woman, sure, but she couldn’t hide this well, could she?

And then, just when he was losing hope and thinking about how to explain to the police that he was panicking because his makeup artist had been missing for exactly 23 minutes, he found her. She was curled into a ball under a window, holding the sides of her head and heaving like she had just ran a marathon. Honestly, he practically had and he wasn’t panting that badly.

“Hey…” he said softly, and though her body hadn’t exactly been relaxed when he arrived, it tensed up further at the sound of his voice.

The look she sent him broke his heart into a million tiny pieces. She looked afraid, like he was going to yell at her and hurt her and Hyunjin had never hated himself more than he did in that moment. The way she was gasping for breath sounded almost inhuman, and he wondered how she even made it that far if she was in such a horrible state.

He wanted to do anything to help, but he had never struggled with anxiety to this degree and he had no idea what would make things worse or better. Even though Jisung has had issues with anxiety, he never went that deep into it with most of the members and Hyunjin had certainly not wanted to push.

It felt awkward to just stand there and stare at someone who was very clearly in distress. So, testing the waters, he took a gentle step towards the hyperventilating woman in the corner. She shrunk in on herself as well as she could, and he sunk into a squat, still a few steps away from her.

“Y/n?” he said gently, and was met with nothing but continued gasps for air that seemed like it would never reach her lungs. He waited a few seconds. “Can I sit next to you? I-I promise I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to, but I figured you wouldn’t want to be… alone.”

Again, nothing but heaving gasps, but she didn’t react or tense up in any way when he stepped closer, so Hyunjin took a seat a foot or so away from her. He rested his head against the wall, his legs crossed and silently watching Y/n struggle.

He hated it. He hated himself for upsetting her, for making her uncomfortable, for being such a judgemental baby, and most of all for never having paid attention to what people needed while having panic attacks. He didn’t know much, but at least he knew that’s what this was. Panic.

“Do you-” at his words the woman tensed up again, so Hyunjin fell silent. Then he decided that it was okay, that maybe if he said the right thing, she would feel better. He took a deep breath. “I’m not very good with this whole thing,” he started. “I’ve never really experienced a situation like this. Jisung had some issues with anxiety, but I’m sure you knew that already. He never came to me with it, though. He mostly went to Felix and Chan hyung.”

Y/n said nothing, just kept gulping down whatever oxygen she could - way too fast, Hyunjin knew, and he was surprised she hadn’t passed out yet. Glad she hadn’t, but surprised nonetheless. He didn’t know what else to say, and reached out a hand to place on her head. She tensed up and let out a sob-like sound, and Hyunjin pulled his hand away like he had just gotten burned.

He wanted to give her something to focus on other than her apparent panic, but he didn’t know how. He didn’t know if it would work, either, but he figured that to stop panicking she would have to stop thinking about the fact that there was something to panic about. He racked his brain for something to say, something to catch her attention, and came up with absolutely nothing.

Except… She had been able to hear him and at least somewhat process what he was saying, right? So what if he gave her something to listen to? And really, he was a singer, wasn’t he? Well, singer, rapper… whatever he was, his job was giving people all around the world something to listen to.

So, he did what he does best and started to sing. He was singing their latest title track - really, he had to warm up for the performance anyway, right? - for a good thirty seconds before he heard something from the woman next to him.

She was laughing.

She was still breathing heavily, and he most definitely spotted some tears on her cheeks, but she was laughing. Because of him. He stopped singing, and she laughed harder. He was unsure as to what was so funny, but really, he couldn’t bring himself to care about anything other than the fact that she was no longer panicking and he was the reason for that. She could laugh at him all she wanted, as long as she calmed down enough to get her breathing back to normal.

After a minute or two, her breathing started going down enough to be considered at least somewhat normal, and she straightened her back a bit, wiping her tears off her face. Then she looked at Hyunjin and smiled softly, and his stomach moved in a way he couldn’t quite place.

“You’re terrible at helping people when they have a panic attack,” she said jokingly, looking down at her lap where she was picking at her nails.

“I know,” he answered, smiling softly. “It worked though, didn’t it?”

“That it did,” she mumbled, looking back up at him. “I’m sorry for just leaving, I was just not prepared for all those people, and cameras, and-”

For a second, Hyunjin feared that she would work herself up into another panic attack, but she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, grabbing her necklace and fiddling with it. He observed her quietly, wanting to learn anything and everything he could about her habits and moods.

“Anyway, that entire situation was just a lot for me. I’m sorry, it was unprofessional of me and I will do my best to make sure it doesn’t happen again, I promise,” she finally finished.

He blinked at her in disbelief. Why was she apologizing? It wasn’t her fault that she had trouble handling large crowds of people. If she was unprepared for a situation like that, it would obviously be overwhelming and unpleasant, and that wasn’t something she had to apologize for.

“That’s okay,” he said gently, pushing her softly with his elbow. “If you ever need a break, just let me know. I know I’m not Chan hyung, and I don’t know you quite as well as he does, but I still care about you and your comfort.”

At his words, she smiled so brightly he almost felt blinded, and his stomach did that thing again. This time a little more violently. He should probably go to the doctor if it kept up.

“Oh my god,” Y/n suddenly gasped, grabbing Hyunjin’s jaw gingerly and turning his head back and forth a few times. “I have to fix your makeup, Christ. What did you do, run across the entire country?”

“Felt like it,” he joked, grinning impishly.

She suddenly released his jaw, blushing furiously and looking down at her lap again. “I’m so sorry! I should have asked before touching you, I-”

“Hey, it’s okay. You were doing your job.” He assured her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. His phone vibrated in his pocket, and he took it out to see at least twenty text messages and two missed calls from his members. His eyes widened and he turned it to show Y/n, who immediately let out a shriek and shot to her feet.

“Shoot, we have to go fix you up! Let’s go!”

She grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hallway. His arm felt like it was going to be pulled out of its socket, but somehow, he didn’t mind all that much.

[scoobydoodean]

links to all the crit dramas? plz? pretty pretty plz? with plzes on top?

Bestie that is a BIG ask and I did not keep up with all the links for all of these (nor would it be feasible to link all of the wank that happened in some cases, and I think in other cases, it would be poor form). But here’s a rundown in (to the best of my memory) chronological order.

Poor wet cat failed pacifists Cas

I think this one may have more context than I know—it's a fairly common motif anyway and has been for years. But the disk horse was reignited at some point because Courtney Queermania said that Dean is, in fact, willing to be inconvenienced by Cas. This did not sit well with anti-dean destiels, who went on the post to tell Courtney they are wrong about everything because *looks at notes* Cas was dedicated to pacifism and Dean forced him to be an evil killer or some other made up nonsense. Dean also forced Cas to fall from heaven and poor bumbling billion year old baby Cas can't even take a shit without Dean's say so, so everything is always Dean's fault and he can't even be grateful and is mean and evil and probably abusive too etc etc. Funny stuff from people who ship Dean and Cas. Btw. Elements of this camp had been sending Courtney hate mail for months before this for daring to post a poll featuring canonical events that occur in the actual show.

Deangirl Uquiz

In April, I made a 50-question True/False uquiz called "How sus do you look to a deanfan (me)?" and said you were sus if you got anything less than like an 80 or something. It was supposed to be a silly, tongue-in-cheek shitpost. I did most of my fandom interaction over on @i-make-fun-of-spn-characters at the time, but intentionally did NOT post this uquiz over there (to a much larger audience) because the uquiz I'd made was meant for a small group of like-minded mutuals and followers who would actually understand the context and find it amusing.

Well. It ended up spreading.

Deancrits got ahold of it and were very very mad that I dared to say things like, "Dean is not largely responsible for Sam and Cas's issues" and "People should have laughed at Dean's jokes more" and "Sam and Cas didn't actually deserve Dean's trust in season 4/6 because they were gaslight gatekeep girlbossing and could not be trusted". They grabbed my uquiz to use like a fleshlight, then discarded it on the ground and cried that it was too big around to suit their tiny wieners.

Deancrits drove their followers to brigade my post and my page. I received hate mail. People spewed venom at me directly. Worst of all, someone I don't give a damn about told me I am not funny. :(((( People pushed and made uquizes to "combat" mine. I spawned countless vagues all over spnblr--some supportive, some spewing venom about deanfans violent hatred (???) for Sam and Cas. Whole mutualships were lost between people I didn't even know over this uquiz. It was nuts out there.

I sexily evaded deancrits with my sexy ways while they chased me through the town square, trying to wrestle me into a hair shirt. I edited the uquiz with some more snark since deancrits made it all about them anyway, and changed my icon to flaming Elmo and probably changed my header to say "@ Deancrits Suck my Ass" or something I don't remember. I think I became genuinely angry at one point for about 5 minutes. After that, I remembered a deancrit casgirl took my 50 question uquiz several times in a row, shitting out their insides with rage the entire time, then posted the screenshot of their 0% to all of their followers like the trophy head of some vanquished beast, letting out a warrior howl of victory. To this day, I could not tell you why they thought this would stick it to me. However, this was so incredibly funny that to this day I still risk pissing myself laughing when I think about it. To get that 0, they also had to call Dean their poor little meow meow btw.

Vegan Sam

Every few years deancrit samgirls start this really funny disk horse about how Dean is an evil food tamperer who doesn’t respect that Sam is a vegan. This, of course, is also a violation of Sam's bodily autonomy (see section below). Victoria Angelsdean dared to make an original post stating that Sam is not, in fact, a vegan and never ever has been one. This made vegan Sam truthers really mad, and it was really funny.

Later on, because Courtney Queermania had been receiving a continuous stream of hate mail from deancrits since February, I had lodged a threat (blackmail) to make a second uquiz of evil and villainy in retaliation should any more hate mail be sent to Courtney. During the "Sam’s Super Special Most Violated Autonomy Stolen Valor" disk horse, I made good on this threat, and featured a question about whether or not Sam is a vegan, which made them mad yet again.

Also this post was fun.

Jesus!Sam

Back in April, tumblr user christ-figure-bracket took it upon themselves to create a poll tournament to determine the ultimate christ figure in fiction. Samgirls have long enjoyed paralleling Sam with Jesus, and nominated him for the tournament. In the first round, Sam was put up against Aslan from The Chronicles of Narnia—literal lion Jesus. Samgirls were determined to bring Sam victory. Much of SPNblr endeavored to assist because it would be funny if Sam won. I was a stick in the mud about it, and gave this as my reasoning:

#i’m sorry I know Sam beating Aslan would be funny but I can’t stand the sam = jesus take #worst thing sam girls ever came up with #and that’s a large hurdle to clear #not even because i have a problem with people wanting to read into things and explore symbolism #it’s because some of them get gigantic heads about it and then act like they’re being persecuted for their beliefs

Lo and behold—they proceeded to prove me right.

Very early on, some samgirls started telling people who voted against Sam to kill themselves, and complaining openly by name about fellow samgirls who didn't support their plight. However, the real trouble started when christ-figure-bracket made it clear in a humorous manner that they would prefer not to have wincest shippers in their notes. Enraged, angry wincest shippers began sending christ-figure-bracket hate mail, and adding wincest fic and art to their posts and sending it in DMs, and saying they were being persecuted for their beliefs. christ-figure-bracket could barely block them fast enough. Samgirls cleverly recollected—from a few hours before—that Sam had been placed against literal lion Jesus in the very first round. This and the wincest shipper blocking clearly implied christ-figure-bracket's barely-concealed hatred for samgirls. They were no impartial moderator—no! They intended to skew the poll to destroy Sam!

Anyway, christ-figure-bracket removed Sam from the entire tournament as a punishment. Sonic the Hedgehog ended up winning the whole thing, btw. Also I thought it was funny that Sam got kicked out so I said so in some tags. I got some absolutely batshit mail about my "unfandom behavior" and how I place myself as some "sane anti bully saint" and then the person pinned a vaguepost on their page about me choosing who to bully and who to baby for like a month.

Jesus!Sam disk horse returned for a part 2 when Courtney Queermania said something like, "Making a t-shape with your arms should be called 'Sammying'" and got this shit in their inbox:

Dean winning the best tits poll

People got really mad that Sam didn't win this. There was also a lot of arguing about "tits" versus "pecs" and whether Sam has good tits or good pecs.

Sam’s Super Special Most Violated Autonomy Stolen Valor

One day, Courtney Queermania dared to say on their own blog, that they were considering whether Sam’s autonomy actually gets violated anymore than anyone else’s, and weren't sure that it does.

This suggestion resulted in a firehose of anonymous hate mail on Courtney's blog, about what a terrible evil person Courtney is for daring to think this, about how Sam is the specialist most autonomy-less adult baby ever to exist, and how deangirls daring to possibly deny this truth or suggest anyone else ever experienced a violation of their autonomy is a violation of samgirls bodily autonomy in of itself.

To be clear, NOT ONCE did any of us go on any samgirl's page to interact with ANY of them in any negative way. And yet, samgirls fully treated all of us as absolutely evil horrible insensitive people who were actually harming them irl by posting things on our own blogs. While their friends spewed absolutely vile hate messages at Courtney, samgirl blogs were making posts about OUR cruelty and how any of us daring to find humor within the onslaught was deeply evil and insensitive toward them. It was literally argued that Samgirls themselves are all super special victims of abuse who all of us (who clearly have never been through anything bad ever) were being insensitive toward. So of course that mode of thinking within the samgirl community encouraged the hate bombing to continue as some justified form of "retaliation" against our cruelty.

Genuinely I think the hate mail on this went on for like 1-2 months. Some really really ugly vile shit was sent mixed in with some really funny shit. Questions were pondered such as, "Wait a minute—how is everyone defining autonomy???" "Is a demon tricking Sam a violation of Sam's autonomy?"" "Do Deangirls just want to give all of Sam's Super Special Traumas to Dean, who has never been through anything, ever?" "How many incidents can PK come up with where Sam violated Dean's autonomy within 3 minutes?" I posted the aforementioned blackmail uquiz, and Courtney gave all of us this incredible baby Sam image that shall live on in infamy (and haunt all of our dreams).

Psychic!Dean or: Sam's stolen valor part 2

I believe it all started when Laura ilarual made a post talking about a funny headcanon they came up with in a discord server, wherein Dean managing to predict the future fairly frequently is actually a display of latent psychic abilities Dean isn't aware he has. Courtney Queermania also joked about it, which is a crime punishable by death, because Courtney (a completely normal, nice person) is actually the devil incarnate according to a variety of hate anons who have targeted them nonstop since February 2023 for literally no fucking reason.

This resulted in this hate mail, and also blended with the general autonomy disk horse that was still going on in Courtney's inbox at the time.

I think what was funny to everyone about Psychic!Dean was how spitting mad it made people for absolutely no reason other than it was somehow perceived as "stolen valor" by samgirls. I started shitposting after that about how Dean can sense hidden rooms. Psychic!Dean has become one of my favorite headcanons since—we're all rather fond of it now.

Gun Safety: A Commentary on pillows and black store clerks

This is two different diskhorses in a trenchcoat that happened with deancrit destiels/casgirls. Once again—me and my friends never went on anyone's page to interact with anyone in a negative way.

This disk horse had two related flavors: is Dean bad and evil and the devil incarnate for 1) sleeping with a gun under his pillow and/or 2) Shooting Jack in the back to get his attention and keep him from strangling a black store clerk to death? Also, are either or both of these things abusive because of... the lack of gun safety?

I suppose you can guess what side deancrit casgirls landed on regarding both of these issues. It was suggested that the sheer possibility that Dean might hurt poor white baby Jack's feefees should trump the life of the innocent black store clerk he was strangling to death in a rage. Naturally.

Regarding the former vein of discourse: Someone got really really mad at Victoria angelsdean and me for making posts on our own blogs that didn't frame Dean as the source of all evil in the world for having a gun under his pillow, and started going through our blogs reblogging things and being an insufferably condescending asshat in tags with a very transparent goal. Among their complaints, were that "The Prisoner" is an incidence of "domestic violence" against Cas, and that Cas shoving his hand into a child's chest to feel for his soul causing him excruciating pain is perfectly fine, but Dean sleeping with a gun under his pillow is *looks at notes* abusive to Jack. Also they thought it was very important to remind all of us that their dad was in the army for some reason.

I was completely unable to take any of this seriously. If you haven't been on my page long, you might not be very familiar with my potty mouth, but it's important here. I've been here a long enough time that I've seen countless kind people get hate bombed by ugly disgusting assholes in this fandom, and this year I simply had enough. Somewhere around the 20th time I saw fellow deangirls get absolutely vile messages from deancrits or obnoxiously condescending reblogs full of nonsense in the year of our lord 2023, I started endeavoring to embarrass them. One way I did this was by equating deancrits who come onto deangirls blogs to police their posts and act like insufferable condescending assholes... with a dude who walks into a men's locker room and immediately whips his dick out. Everyone else is clothed, but this one dude starts running around naked, showing everyone his cock and going "LOOK HOW BIG MY COCK IS. SUCK ON IT" and not only is he being annoying and weird and harassing people—his dick is actually tiny. Basically I began saying, "Stop whipping your dick out on everybody else's blogs, acting like your cock is big and huge and bulging and I need to get down on my knees and suck it. No one is going to suck you tiny cock just because you decided to whip it out."

I used this metaphor with the person who was being a condescending ass on my blog. I promptly got accused of making "violent sexual threats" by one of their friends, and then another one showed up to tell me, "If internet cancellation were real, you would be so cancelled for this." I changed my header to say, “Cancelled by Ligma Balls” and blocked like 6 people and my blog has been blessedly free of deancrit casgirls throwing tantrums and trying to hit me with their babyhands since.

[cyborgpulsebooks]

Pulse of Life Press 1st Anniversary - and an experiment!

It's been a whole year since I started this crazy artform! I can't believe it myself. The amount of books I've made in the past year has long since hit the double digits, and each and every one of them is incredibly important to me, flaws and all.

However, there was one book - my first book - that had more issues than the others, some that outright interfered with reading. Luckily I've been learning book repair at the same time as binding, but when I tried to fix some of the problems for Bernhardiner, it went...well... about as badly as it could.

What to do, then, with a ruined book? I didn't have enough decorative paper to completely redo the cover, with all the little dogs. But then I thought - why not leave the cover? I know how books work - I could pretty easily detach the whole case from the ruined textblock, make a new textblock, and just reuse the old case. It seemed like a sound experiment. Now, for the press's first anniversary, I have compiled most of the process under the cut, complete with pictures.

Please come along with me on this journey!

This was the beginning of the process, after having slooowly and carefully detached the endpapers of the textblock (right) from the case itself (left). You might remember this from my recent shitpost! To loosen the adhesive and separate the two parts without ruining either one, I initially slid a bonefolder into the hinge area of the case, and then switched to a thin little boi called a microspatula to slip through the glue not unlike a letter opener.

This did lead to some wear and tear on the boards of course, but it could have gone a lot worse. Most binders that I've learned from use a homemade wheat paste to attach case to textblock, but so far I have not been able to make it without the ingredients turning into an Oobleck-esque gelatin. Thus I use PVA glue, which is far stronger, and can lead to things like this. Still, not too bad. The case was successfully salvaged!

Before I describe and show off the redux, I just wanna share a couple of the errors and mistakes I made on the first textblock here, as I usually try and photograph my books with the least amount of flaws visible. Here we can see, firstly, that the glue job on the spine was shoddy at best; none of it really got quite between the individual signatures of the book, leading to weird gaps like that which compromise the stability of the book and show off the spine liner/mull, to my dismay.

In the other two pics you can see page numbers where they're definitely not supposed to be. Ah, MS Word, you son of a bitch and your terrible, terrible pagination settings. Took me months and months to learn how to paginate my books correctly, up until about my FINAGLC bind.

Not enough glue here on the pre-made endbands, either. It would sometimes fold under while reading, which wasn't super fun to see.

Finally, the botched repair that started this whole journey - I had attempted to fix one of the gaps between signatures (seen earlier) with some Japanese repair tissue, but ended up sticking these pages awkwardly together and fucked up that little top part there. A nightmare!

For all the above reasons, I actually decided to go back to my original typeset and revamp it. I've gotten some... teasing in my binding groups for the fact that my first few books were set in Times New Roman (which I actually find satisfying to read, thank you very much), which apparently gives off a sort of amateurish vibe. I've been experimenting with body fonts since, and the two I reliably use at the moment are usually Sylfaen (for shorter, smaller books) and Baskerville Old Face (for longer books). I switched it to Sylfaen here, and you can compare and contrast the results far down below.

Now, I'm not going to detail the entire bookmaking process here - just the interesting bits. If you want to learn how to make books, I highly suggest checking out @renegadepublishing's resources, as they're how I learned. But here we can see all the new signatures of the new edition nice and crisp and printed. In the second photo they've even been punched for sewing already!

At the co-op where I print and sew my textblocks, I often get to use real nipping presses like this bad boy right here. It's entirely metal (iron?) and way too heavy to lift. Between the two scrap papers peeking out is the new Bernhardiner!

But at home, this is my current set up:

Everyone, meet the eponymous Pulse of Life Press. POL Press, meet everyone.

A family member of mine made the wood part (obviously, a separate piece from the HS books) for me last Christmas, with no real knowledge of what a book press should look like at all. It's sort of a cross between what's known as a lying/finishing press and just some sort of regular old clamp. I line it with wax paper, stick the spine of the book in the center, tighten, and then cover the rest of the textblock with my trusty viz Homestuck books. It's a little MacGyver-y, but it's served me well.

This is the part where you glue the spine, attach the endpapers, and so forth.

For this redux, I decided to continue practicing making my own endbands instead of using the same pre-made ones I had for the first copy. These ones actually came out pretty darn well, if I do say so myself! They're the absolute neatest I've made them so far, and that's a relief. Obviously I still need work, but it's so lovely making them. <3

After this, I actually don't have a lot of pictures! It's basically just press, attach the spine liner and glue again, press again, casing in, and then...

Et voila!

Lookin' pretty good, if I do say so myself.

I didn't get exact duplicate photos of the original textblock's mistakes for a before/after, but you can probably just tell from these just how cleaned up the new one is. Rest assured those pesky out-of-place page numbers are long gone, and my spine gluing has gotten a lot better. I'm honestly just glad that it cased in so well - I was worried about that flaky board for a minute there!

And that's all. Thank you for coming with me on this little peek behind the scenes! Here's to many more books in the coming year - more to read, more to make, and more to write.

Cheers!

[canaidliafail]

untitled

streamer ellie Williams x dancer reader 🌿

Id call this an excessively long shitpost. It is in the same timeline with staygrounded but I wrote it down for self indulgent reasons such as -to no ones surprise- venting. It ain’t good btw but its getting better I think.

CW: first of all, reader is a dancer/ dance teacher || short mention of self harm || MDI: there are sexual themes if I remember correctly || Ellie being very gay

If you by any chance do enjoy this concept I don’t mind writing a part 2 tho. Requests are open ✨

“you blame it on the drugs I dont give a fuck cause the damage is done,

and you talk about suicide, its the way you manipulate”

1:35 ───ㅇ───── 3:47 ↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

gossip, rumors, spreading a false narrative and falling in love with being a victim of life and most importantly a victim of you.

So many things that could have been said about her. So many and yet all sat stale at the tip of your tongue. You wanted to rip her to shreds, put a curse on her and considered spending life in prison for premeditated murder. Then you cried and just prayed she would leave you alone and that she would find happiness and that you would never hear anything about it. You scratched your arms, the stitches holding your flesh together getting irritably itchier day by day. flesh that you so willingly sliced a week ago and regretted right after.

It was fucking embarrassing to fall to such depths of despair and misery cause of love. In life we allow things to happen to us. Saying that was comfort of some sorts. It gave you control over a situation that you were dragged around like a puppet.

Could truly another person's venom poison you this irreversibly?

And while you did crave love and attention you refused to humiliate yourself by asking for it,let alone admit to it.

“she didn’t love you, she loved the idea of being with you. You have to realize it baby, You are a known figure now…People will do that to you. This is a whole new world you just entered”

You shook your head and dully stared at the screen playing lo-fi on loop

“New world ? Feels like I'm back in high school”

You sat on the other end of the couch numb and mute. It had been a week since you spoke to your roommate and two since you last saw your whole friend group. You warned them

“I can’t talk but I really need you”

and they came and would chime in to whatever little but you were willing to share that night.

You all woke up around the same time the next day, exam season not really willing to cooperate with your mental breakdown and started getting ready. You had already failed 2 subjects. shit was not going your way so on the fourth day you just gave up and decided to go with the flow

“how bad can it get”

bit of advice fellas, never fucking say that cause it CAN get worse.

While initially you were well prepared for exams, You mixed up the days when you were supposed to submit assignments and the days when you were taking a written exam.

2 failed subjects, 4 more to go.

4 failed subjects… 2 more to go

Hot girl summer just doesn’t feel the same once you hit your 20s it seems.

_________________ 𓆩♡𓆪 _________________

You were aimlessly watching one story after the other,barely there and hardly caring what exactly you were looking at. Abby had just posted one cryptic photo with a girl you saw around in the community and smiled. You could tell something was going on with her and that other streamer girl and you smiled. You thought they were a good match and quite frankly you were just glad to see that some people were doing better in their love life than you ever could. It gave you hope that things like that still existed even if you weren't meant to experience them. Ellie had also just posted and you took a minute longer to appreciate her slender form dressed in tights and a top while horse riding. She was hot and she knew it and you liked that attitude of hers. You checked the next story which was a black screen with a text

*I fell off my horse two minutes after taking that pic*

And chuckled. Your eyes drifted off to the green square mark and cocked a brow

Oh?

So you were in her close friends ?

You sat up

“Wait since when has she-” You asked yourself out loud and noticed that indeed she was following you. In the midst of working on new content and getting out of your depressive slump you started checking your social less and less too busy with dance practice and trying to enjoy life and it seemed like in the middle of your subtle break things…. Happened

Maybe a few months ago when you were down bad for her this would’ve affected you but now you just shrugged and closed your phone. You need to get back to practicing a new dance combo for a video and you couldn’t be bothered. Your ex had scared you off from dating public figures for good. Dating was a strong word…You hardly wanted even a fling at this point.

You got dressed up and put on a wig, fixing your makeup in place and making a movement test before you went to the studio to record the new choreo so that you could only worry about the variation and not have any unnecessary technical issues. The studio was a few minutes away from your place by bus and you put on the songs you planned on rehearsing to get in the mood on your way there humming softly and tuning out any other thought polluting your mind.

There's was a text notification from the user

Elliefuckingwilliams

Which you forced yourself to ignore refusing to entertain whatever she could have texted you. If this was a month ago maybe you would have but now you didnt want to.

_________________ 𓆩♡𓆪 _________________

Ignoring her was your plan until you posted the new video of your dance which admittedly you did look good and may have been one of your best videos up to date. Ellie Was the third like on that post and she had shamelessly double texted you. You chewed on your lip nervous and uncertain

“She texted me again”

Ophelia, your roommate, peeked her head from her iPad and looked at you curious

“Who?”

“Ellie”

“ELLIE?! WAIT THE ELLIE?!” She jumped up and for a moment you for sure she came for your throat but instead clutched the blankets on your couch

“And what do you mean again ?! When did all of this happen ?”

“Relax it all started today and you know I wanted to tell you once we had time to properly hang out” You said fighting back a smile knowing that this was a victory. Ophelia had suffered you for months crying over your ex, then thirsting over Ellie and then back to square one. You owed her an update on your emotional affairs which you swore that they would stay stagnant.

“So what did she say ?”

You opened the Direct messages

Elliefuckingwilliams: Hey I have a question

Elliefuckingwilliams: Is your studio in Seattle ?

Elliefuckingwilliams: I have a project and am looking for a dance instructor. Let me know if you would be interested in a collab

“Ah. Just work stuff it seems”

“EXCUSES SHE JUST WANTS TO EAT YOU OUT AND IS LOOKING FOR A EXCUSE”

“You are shameless”

You stared at each other with a smirk fighting to break through, wanting to seem equally serious despite the ridiculous situation.

“She does not”

“She does. I’m betting 50 dollars”

Oh fuck off ill just roll you a blunt”

“A WIN IS A WIN” she said with her hands in the air “No come on! Respond already you are driving me crazy”

You rolled your eyes and considered her offer. You were taken aback cause Ellie didn’t seem like she would do anything with…dancing. However you weren’t new to influencers trying new things to get back on the algorithms favor so you brushed it off as her chasing new heights to her already growing fame.

-Hey, I’m not sure where you are exactly and it isn’t my studio. I am just renting the space but I could give you a lesson or two

Elliefuckingwilliams: Sweet! When are you available ? I have a gap next week otherwise it can be next month

You stared at her immediate response and quirked your brow in approval. Professional and straight to the point. You could respect that. Not what you were aiming for. You tried to ignore the previous conversations you two had that showed above her new messages. Your fruitless attempts at getting her attention in the most stupid of ways. Can’t blame a girl for trying. Shoot for the stars they say. You’ll land on dirt but hey, at least you gave it a fair shot and therefore no one could blame you for trying.

-This week is good. Say Friday ?

Elliefuckingwilliams: Yeah yeah cool! I'll text you the day before so that you can tell me your location and everything

You pursed your lips and turned to look at Ophelia who was on all fours on your couch desperately trying to steal a glance at your phone screen. You tossed it on one of the floor cushions

“Not a date. I’m just gonna be her dance instructor so looks like you owe me that blunt”

“Nu-uh. Bet you’ll be raw dogging in the studio. We will see who wins on Friday”

_________________ 𓆩♡𓆪 _________________

“And the dance floor is filling up with blood, But oh, Lord you’ve never been so in love”

ELLIE’s POV

Ellie was convinced that God had specifically hand crafted her body to be incapable of dancing. She had no coordination and perhaps was even tone deaf which was ridiculous for someone who played the guitar and sang. Not that she was a pro at that either but who creates a musician who doesn’t understand how to step on notes in any way other than with an instrument ? So now that she had texted you she was frantic, bouncing her leg up and down and chewing on the flesh around her fingernails.

“What's gotten into you?”

Dina asked while folding clothes. She was at her and Jesse's apartment for the night and she had yet to tell them about her new crush and her impatient attempt at getting to see you as soon as possible. Ellie was aware of you as a creator. Be it from a post-share on her friends stories or you falling on her timeline she would see you here and there. She vividly remembered a month where you peaked and she went from seeing you once every two months at best to seeing you every week. And she was curious as to why was everyone going crazy over you and your content. You seemed to interact mostly with Abby’s girl.

That’s how Ellie referred to the girl Abby seemed to be crushing on. In a game of broken telephone and who told what, Ellie planned on seeing how close Abby was with her girl and if that was close enough for her to ask if she could…well ask her about you and then somehow for that information to get back to you.

But all that plan failed the second Ellie asked

“So is Cotton dating anyone?”

And Abby took that horribly wrong and now was set on gatekeeping her. Ellie was awkward and a mess and couldn’t communicate properly what she wanted because to her, what she asked was obvious and had no hidden meaning or intention but the world around her didn’t work like that and she struggled so fucking hard with it.

Ellie’s second grant failure was when she followed you back. She was sure that you wouldn’t have missed it. But the silence was so loud it was deafening. You were still posting but you were otherwise quiet everywhere else. You rarely even watched her stories at this point so Ellie decided to grow a backbone and some balls and directly message you.

She flinched at the dry responses she gave you to your previous interactions which back then seemed professional but now they seemed…So distant.

Finally, she texted you.

and you responded.

“Dina I did a stupid thing”

Dina tossed the clothes in the wardrobe and kicked close giving up on tidying Jesse’s shit

“Ok, stupid how? Like speaking money or-”

“I texted my crush-”

“You have a crush?”

“Yes and so I texted her and-”

“Who is she ?”

“A content creator, anyways so I texted her”

“WHo?”

“Dina can you let me talk?!” she said frustrated and Dina grinned. She went to the kitchen aisle to grab a bottle of water and tossed another one Ellie’s way. She leaned against the counter listening to her friend endless yawping about this new crush. she called her twice a day until Friday, and would recite every move and gesture she planned on using to seduce you. Dina would turn each one down by saying

“You do realize that when you see her you will just shit your pants from excitement and won't say anything right?”

So ellie would hang up and call a few hours later with a new plan that aligned more with how she typically acted.

When Friday came she showered twice and changed outfits over and over again, as a result she was late. She was proud of her fit since the sleeveless turtleneck did a nice job at hugging her slim, well built frame and showed off her toned arms that took years of calisthenics to build and paired with a baggy pair of sweatpants she felt like she had the biggest dick in the city.

But once she parked outside of the studio you mentioned cold sweat ran down her spine and her hands felt clammy and sticky from anxiety.

what the hell am I doing

she questioned and rested her head against the steering wheel. She drummed her fingers on the soft leather and hummed a melody to ease her nerves till she heard light tapping on the window. She lifted her head and looked up and there you were. hair loose, shorts and a baggy graphic T that had a faded graffiti-like artwork of spiderman.

She hated how much she loved the sight in front of her.

she opened her door and slid out trying to gather her stuff in a hurry

“Hi sorry, were you waiting long? I missed the bus and had to wait a bit until the next one came…”

“no no! Its cool I was just, ugh trying to calm down cause I'm nervous”

you smiled and lowered your brows in empathy

“I assumed you would. You don't have experience in dancing right? Or at least you haven’t mentioned it anywhere”

She winced at how obvious her lie was and she didn’t know how to answer to that

I don’t dance but If that’s what it takes to fuck you then sure I can learn how to do a Ronde de Jambe

“ah yeah you got me there, I’ve never danced before”

“That’s cool with me. Just curious on what piqued your interest to start now. New hobby or…?”

“yeah new hobby!” she hurried to answer, glad that you inspired her on what lie to use for the day.

You nodded while checking her out head to toe and before she had time to boost her ego and assume that you did because you found her hot you said-

“Hm. I will need you to wear tighter pants next time so that I can see what you are doing with your legs. But for today it's fine”

and took the keys out of your duffel bag

“Well. Ellie williams. Ready to start?”

“ah yeah just, be gentle…? I've never done anything remotely close to dancing with my body and I might be pretty stiff”

“Don’t worry about it. I've had every type of student and all of them managed to pull a few cool moves in their second month. If there’s a will there’s a way”

she smiled more nervous than before. You were formal and professional leaving little close to no space for her to get flirty and she was at a loss. She should’ve done more research on dancer etiquette so that she wouldn’t have looked like such an uneducated swine but there was no point in getting angry over that now.

“We will start with basic breathing exercises and a warm up just to get you in the swing of things. We will start with body isolations”

Ellie stared at you from the mirror as you showed her the first few basic motions

“Alright so for the warmup just follow my lead”

you grabbed the remote and put on “never ending song” by Conan Grey which had a pretty standard rhythm and was easy to dance along to. Ellie was in awe with the plasticity of your body, every move being a continuation of the previous one all like a rolling tide of emotions complimenting the beat and the beat complimenting you.

On the other end, Ellie was too embarrassed to look at her own reflection

“alright so first to isolate your hips from your chest” you said and let the next song play. You laid your palm flat on her back and pointed a bit below her collarbones holding your fist in the air

“move with me, breathe in” you said and she tried to copy your move watching your chest rise. You shook your head

“no, I need only your chest to move. Relax your shoulders love” you teased with an easy smile and Ellie by now was a mess, from the proximity and from the simple exercise of trying to move your breathing pattern

You were oblivious to it all going from one body part to another occasionally fixing up her posture and tapping the part that she had to focus on, but all hell broke loose in your brain when you laid your hand on her stomach asking her to clench and unclench her core hunching within herself.

“You were so dramatic before, look at you Els. You just needed a little basic guidance “ you encouraged and she smiled and looked at you in excitement, oblivious to the fact that when she turned her head she was a breath away from accidentally kissing you

“ah! I-“

you smirked and pulled away

“I've been rehearsing this one choreo, best way to understand these exercises is through a dance routine. How do you feel about that?”

Ellie agreed and while dancing she kept being thrown off balance at the sharp turns that she had to take which in return slowed her down and she would miss a few steps. You let the music play in the background and let out an awkward chuckle

“Fuck ok this is my fault see I forgot to tell you about spotting”

“Spotting?”

You nodded and you pushed her back by her shoulder freeing up a line for you

“See when we turn, we always have a spot” You said and stepped into the appropriate preparation to do 8 simple turns, your head always snapping the back to the invisible mark you held with your eyes

Ellie pursed her lips. Seemed like such an obvious trick but one that went completely over her head

“Now I see that you struggle to look at yourself in the mirror, Which is fine. I’m sure you'll get used to it eventually, so instead try taking a few turns while holding eye contact with me, yeah ?”

You offered and she took a couple steps back

“Ugh…what were all those moves you made before spinning?”

“Oh don’t worry about that,thats ballet stuff. Just spin. Bent your elbows and hold your arms against your chest if it helps”

Ellie started off slow, picking up the pace as she neared you, eventually losing sight of what was in front of her

“Wow-wow-wowwww I got you” you said and steadied her by her shoulders and held her in place. She looked up at you taking in deep breaths, cheeks flushed and eyes wide open with her lips parted in a soft smile

“That went well, How do you feel?”

You said and you gently rubbed your thumb against the naked skin of her biceps.

“Great, I… I liked this it makes more sense now”

She said filled with excitement

_________________ 𓆩♡𓆪 _________________

Every time Ellie liked your story you felt your heart skip a few beats. You were in the studio for your solo dancing practice and kept bouncing from one leg to the other to keep your muscles warm while you scrolled through your phone to find some inspiration or a pic that you could post and in return give Ellie an opening to respond to. The image of her timidly trying to follow along through your every move, her flushed cheeks and her voice shaking did things to your brain chemistry, re-wiring its entire structure and flow. Every time she posted a story with a smug smile and pants lower than her boxer briefs you just laughed remembering what a shy and soft mess of words the girl was and felt an unhealthy amount of endearment. A spark re-ignited in your dead heart and you liked it. You liked ellie when you didn’t know her, and you liked her even more now that you did.

By now it had been…a good two weeks that consisted of 4 dance practices that you had with her. The first time you saw her up close all you thought was a “huh”

And then a “she is shorter than me-“ which for you was dangerous. You had an incredibly soft spot for masc lesbians who were shorter than you. Unfortunately they were never attracted to you though. You had always attracted the exact opposite of what you wanted and you blamed that on your overly dominant attitude.

On the second day you both had the same idea of treating each other to a coffee and so you ended up with 4 paper cups of iced almond milk lattes which you laughed about for a good 10 minutes

“We are so in sync!” You commented and she nodded excitedly, blushing all the way to her ears.

On the third dance practice you purposely pretended to assist her and correct her to find an excuse to touch her and when you saw how positively she reacted to it you pushed on the advantage that you had, heavily , which made you believe that maybe there really was some kind of ulterior motive as to why Ellie was so set on having you as a dancing coach.

On the fourth day there was a shift in the tide and something was in the waters. Ellie had her hair gathered and decided to wear the sluttiest outfit on earth ( aka a white top and grey sweatpants )

She went to greet you with a hug and you noticed her perfume, subtle but there to make you lust after it. She asked if she could record the Dance you were rehearsing for a post and you felt alright with that. And she excelled. She was a fast learner and her body had a good flow. It did need polishing but she wasn’t half as bad as she claimed to be. The fifth video take was close to perfection and in her excitement she yanked you towards her and wrapped you in a tight hug which you immediately reciprocated eager for the contact with the sex God standing before you. You took in the blended smell of her perfume and her sweat which had you feel insufferable discomfort with how tight your pants were. Something about her raw scent had you horny like a dog and you had to clench your jaw in patience not to act out of instinct and try to get closer than needed.

You both laughed and she yelled in excitement “I fucking did it”

And then your voice followed, a bit quieter “I told you, you could do it” she pulled back her arm still on your waist, her thumb caressing the skin as she watched the video a second time in excitement. You took the chance to stand a bit closer to her while she in sync wrapped her whole arm around you and leaned her head against your chest enjoying the dance and pointing out things that you could do differently next time, all in the comfort of each other’s embrace.

She posted the video and in the daze of the excitement of seeing what you two looked like next to each other you forgot to worry about the fact that you were yet again getting entangled with a public figure. An actually big one. While your previous relationship was just your ex leeching off of you and your success, this one…it had to be different. Ellie had nothing to gain from you and you put your trust in that and in the fact that the two of you seemed to genuinely get along

You decided to text her first

“You impatient fuck. We could’ve filmed a better take tomorrow”

“You are such an ass, let me enjoy my accomplishments”

You started tidying up the studio and decided to leave your bag with your ballet clothes and pointe there since you would come tomorrow for Ellie’s lessons anyways. You chatted back and forth all the way back and you almost tripped on your staircase too busy typing a response. You banged your head against your door though thinking you had unlocked it to find that you didn’t. Ophelia opened it for you

“Girl?”

You looked at each other and you immediately broke into a smile the split your lips

“Ellie posted our video. And she left in the part where she hugged me”

“Oh-hooooo” she exclaimed and rushed you in. She tossed the mop on the side of the wall and nudged you to the couch abandoning whatever housework she was in the middle of to listen to you

“Aaaand we are still talking” You said smiling and Ophelia clapped cheering for you while you swung your way inside the house and fell dramatically on the couch.

“Oh my, I’m so glad the Gods heard our prayers cause I was sure I was about to send you off to priesthood”

“It wasn’t that bad”

You said with an offended gasp and she scoffed

“Honey, one more month and you were about to grow back your virginity. I’m just happy to see you back out there and not just with anyone but with The Ellie fucking williams!” She said getting louder with every word. You joined her cheerful demeanor hopping on the couch and you both started bouncing on it like kids in a playground

“I can’t believe this. I wanna wear something good for our practice tomorrow”

“Shorts and that nice red bodysuit!”

“But-“

“No buts! I know it’s uncomfortable but she will see you and rip it off right away so how much will you really suffer, you know?”

Ophelia coming through with the obvious answer to any and every world known issue was exactly what you needed to finish off your day. Though to be fair, if there was anything you should have listened to regarding -making a move on your crush- that would have to be her. She had a banging record of pulling every single guy she set her eyes on and one night standing them for her own satisfaction. Of course now she had her sights on someone specific but that didn’t change or erase all previously acquired skills in the flirting department. Despite all of that, You ended up rejecting the bodysuit idea because that would be a hassle to actually get off if things would go anywhere and even if they wouldn't, anything that tight during summer was a nightmare in general.

“Hey can I borrow that white top you have?”

“Borrow whatever you want and do whatever you want just never let me know about it”

_________________ 𓆩♡𓆪 _________________

on the day that you fully planned on making a move a couple things went wrong. First and foremost well, It decided to rain down which meant you had to run all the way from the bus stop to the studio in a hopeless attempt to preserve your hair and outfit. It didn’t do much since you ended up like a drenched cat either way but you refused to let your mood falter.

You tried texting Ellie to ask if she could bring coffee for you two.

Few minutes later she came in with two iced coffees, not a drop of rain on her which you were awfully jealous of. Her cropped hair was once again all gathered in a short ponytail and she wore two sports wristbands around her arms which did unimaginable things to you. It was good sight with her sleeveless baggy tshirt. Ellie just knew how to dress plain and attractive.

“Looking good” she teased when she found you furiously trying to dry the ends of your hair with a towel

“Shut up. Please shut up”

“So sensitive” she said and rolled her eyes making her way to you and taking the towel from your hands

“Let me help” it wasn’t so much of a request as it was a demand when she pulled the towel out of your hands and moved behind you, wrapping your hair in it and squeezing it to get most of the water out. You felt your body temperature rise at the awfully tender gesture and unsure of what to do you just fidgeted with your hands looking at the floor

“ I can drive you back to your place if you want”

“No, it's fine. Ill wait it out”

“No no, I insist. Let me drive you back and look cool while doing so”

A soft chuckle escaped your lips as she rounded you up to give you the towel with a small shy smile, her cheeks a shade of pink now.

Practice was good if you were to ignore that Ellie seemed a lot more focused on your assets rather than the moves you were showing. You knew the biker shorts you were gave her a 4K view of your ass but you didn't expect her to be this obvious about it. You stepped back after a moment and just watched as she rehearsed the dance on her own and you were in awe on how much more comfortable she seemed with her body now

“Good. This one was very good. Want me to film you so that you look at yourself?”

you asked and she shook her head satisfied with the progress. You slouched on the ground, legs spread and ankles on your knees wiping the sweat of your brow carefully as not wipe your brow completely off with it and looked at the time

“Well we are pretty much done then for today. Unless there’s anything you wanted to ask me or anything else you wanna try doing?” you asked and Ellie followed your lead walking over to you across the room and crouching down on her knees in front of you

“Oh yeah I did wanna ask something”

“go ahead then” you said dreading having to get up. You didn’t have to though

“Can I take you out on a date ? for coffee perhaps?”

[deathbirby]

Nabatean Slumber

After several shitposts, we have finally returned to the lore/theory posts! Just as the title says, we are going to be looking at Nabatean slumber. How does it work? What even is it? This post will be more of a theory-post.

Let's unpack!

Death

The first time in the game that we see Nabatean slumber, is when Byleth was blasted off a cliff. They slept for 5 years and woke up to a continent at war.

Here is the thing though. Byleth did go into slumber but it was not like the other Nabateans.

You see, unlike regular Nabateans who go into slumber to heal from near-death experiences, Byleth died,

"So you've managed to make it all the way to the end. For once, it seems the stars were wrong. My reading of the stars predicted that, during the war, you would fall to your death. But that was five years ago. Perhaps the prediction was true for you then somehow." - Magic Wielder

The fall killed them. It makes sense, no mortal would survive that. This is further supported by other lines:

"What have you been doing all this time?" - Edelgard

"I was sleeping" and "I was dead" are both equally valid answers. Byleth was dead, in 'eternal slumber', except they're able to wake up from it. Sounds strange, right?

This seems to be a thing related to the Crest of Flames. Sothis was also dead when Nemesis plundered the Holy Tomb, yet we are told she was slumbering.

And Nemesis was dead and brought back to life:

"Nemesis? That Nemesis? Do you really think the ancient King of Liberation has been brought back to life?" - Claude

"An incredible power that we children cannot hope to match dwells within the blood of the progenitor god. Nemesis obtained that blood, so it would not surprise me if that were the case." - Rhea

What about Edelgard? Her case seems to be unique. The Crest of Flames doesn't work the same way when you have another crest already. Crest cancer is too strong.

Near-death

I stated earlier that regular Nabateans go into slumber to recover from near-death experiences. My reasons for this are some lines in game:

Afterward, it broke my heart to see how much you would need to rest just to survive. - Seteth

Flayn, a Nabatean, went into slumber during the war of heroes to survive. It was a near-death experience.

She even has a few lines for Byleth, depending on how they answer:

Under a rock... How similar we are! As it were, I took my rest in a casket made of stone. - Flayn

She slept in a casket made of stone. That does make it sound like she was dead. Why else would you choose to sleep there? It could be symbolic or my theory is wrong and slumber = death for everyone.

But here is another theory: sleeping in a casket is normal for Nabatean slumber. It could be why Rhea did not want to bury Sitri. Not just because of the cold, dark soil, but because her resting in a casket implies she could come back.

Oh. Well, I suppose one's first long slumber is difficult to recall... - Flayn

FIRST long slumber? Huh, sounds like going into slumber is pretty normal for Nabateans. Not that that's a huge shock. Seteth immediately understands when Byleth tells them they slept for 5 years.

But. man, they must really suck at surviving if they keep getting close to death's door!

Who else do we have left?

Relics

Ah, right. The corpses of the slaughtered Nabateans. Is their current state a "slumber"? They're dead, Rhea tells us that quite clearly.

Why do they twitch then? Why do they sap the life-force of their wielders? Why do they glow when activated, similar to Rhea's "truest" form at the end of SS?

Are the relics aware, somehow? Miklan turns into a black beast, and Maurice suffered a similar fate. Was that the relics trying to return to their original state? Why does it happen more frequently to a non-crested person, then? Do they see crested people as fellow Nabateans, and thus don't want to do a take-over? Does it take longer because they need time to come to the realization that this is a human with Nabatean blood? Or was it just an act of revenge?

The game doesn't give us any concrete answers when it comes to the Relics. All of it is left vague and up to interpretation.

So, what are your thoughts on it?

[tungledotedu]

i'll grant that the juxtaposition involved makes it a creative prompt, one that a human being would think of. we have a tendency to anthropomorphise animals and objects, and this is an example of that instinct.

i don't think the attack helicopter model (or even type of military vehicle) matters.

as for 'attitude', i suppose one possible interpretation is a mild woobification of the military-industrial complex.

but it takes more than creativity to make art. having a creative idea alone does not make you an artist, nor does it put you on the same level as someone who would actually draw a picture like the one above. that would involve steps beyond conceptualisation, such as composition, thumbnailing, sketching, line art, colouring, etc.

a 5-minute crappy doodle version of this would be art because a human being took the time to turn that idea into an artwork. telling someone or something to draw an idea you came up with does not make you the artist. you used generative ai to shitpost and act like it's some #deep statement. trying to be clever with the 'answer my questions' bit while ignoring the most fundamental one: did you draw this yourself?

6. does the fact that i have previously said i will make a bing ai image every time someone complains about AI art, sarcastically saying that by doing so i am stealing food out of artists' mouths, impact the perceived meaning and impact of the image? does it offer a new reading of the absurd nature of the prompt?

it does give the impression that this is not intended to encourage a good-faith discussion. you may not be personally 'stealing food out of artists' mouths,' but you are normalising the devaluation of our work and entitled attitude about the use of ai over human labour.

these aren't rhetorical or troll questions, to be clear -- they are merely being posed to illustrate that the idea that there is no artistic intent or human expression behind AI generated images falls apart under serious analysis.

again, it's not enough to have 'artistic intent or human expression'. anyone can come up with any idea. the difference is what you do to bring that idea to life.

and to be honest, it's hard not to interpret the underlying intention of intellectual exercises like this as:

'why should i pay you when i can tell a machine to make this for free?'

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 30/01/2024

Trial of the Heart

Season 3 Featured on: Now That's What I Call Quality!

Ripped by ShonicTH

In a few posts on here, such as on Medley Rush #7 and Sidelined Symphony, I've brought up and discussed the idea that certain rippers on SiIvaGunner feel immensely recognizable even without knowing the credits of who made what. A big part of SiIvaGunner's appeal from the start was that this mass output of rips of varying quality was pretty secretive about who was behind what, and only the fans who care enough to download the team's album releases (or check the Wiki) would be made aware of the rippers' identities. I'll wholly admit that, despite being a self-proclaimed SiIvaGunner loremaster, it took me until around the middle of Season 4 Episode 1 to actually begin paying proper attention to all of the behind-the-scenes workings. Even whilst I was in the dark in a lot of ways, though, there were a few names I was still keenly aware of through their notoriety and frequent mentions in the YouTube comments. There was channel founder Chaze the Chat, there were the shitpost legends like BotanicSage, Triple-Q and toonlink - and then, there was ShonicTH.

Out of the two dozen or so rippers that have stayed actively participant in SiIvaGunner since the very early days of Season 1, ShonicTH has always stuck out as particularly memorable to me for a lot of ways. While I comment on l4ureleye's stylistic traits as a ripper, or the various ways that Chaze the Chat would sneak his affection for Maroon 5 into half the projects he worked on, ShonicTH's legacy on the channel is comparatively pretty simple. The dude just loves Kingdom Hearts.

From an absolute onslaught of rips in Season 1 that adds The Flintstones or Snow Halation to music all across the Kingdom Hearts franchise, to his literal sole contribution to the channel in Season 7 being a rip of the exact same nature aptly titled Quickly meeting my yearly quota, ShonicTH's presence on the channel has since way back in Season 1 been immensely identifiable as just "the Kingdom Hearts guy". It reminds me of the rippers like Uncle Fill that I discussed in Violet Sky Memories - the ones where you get the feeling that, they enjoyed contributing to SiIvaGunner just to share their love of the game. And at this point, whenever I see anything Kingdom Hearts related on SiIvaGunner, be it individual rips, the Yoko Shimomura tribute album "Il settimo grande padre", seeing videos in SiIvaGunner's "Liked" playlist relating to the games, or whatever else it may be - it feels like its become a community-known truth that it can all be traced back to Kingdom Hearts.

And for a lot of these rips, particularly ones from Season 1, I don't really have much to say, other than that I'm really glad that ShonicTH is still having a great time doing what he loves for the channel. But in his vast resume of contributions, Trial of the Heart really stands out as a symbol of love above the rest - after two years of making edits to Kingdom Hearts music, it's a fully original composition by ShonicTH himself meant to emulate that very sound. And yeah, it definitely succeeds in its mission statement! Trial of the Heart sounds like an authentic battle theme from the series, althewhile sneaking in small, repeating chord progressions that sound suspiciously like the beginning to The Flintstones theme. Its reminiscent to A Battle of Grand Proportions in that sense, I suppose, as an original composition aiming to feel like a sort of battle theme for the SiIvaGunner channel itself - yet Trial of the Heart makes its one reference to the channel somewhat more subtle, and does mainly feel more like ShonicTH just testing himself on if he's able to make a song in the same style as the games he so loves.

For all the years I've followed SiIva, and for having been very much outside the core community for most of those, its always been sort of...reassuring, I suppose, to know that ShonicTH is still part of the team no matter what. Rain or shine, if there's rips to be made, ShonicTH still wants to contribute to show his love for Kingdom Hearts, and its clear to me that he's a dear friend to many on the team.

It is on the other side of your heart that the memory of this place exists. It is your heart that remembers.

[thinkin-bout-milgram]

WHAT DID U GUYS THINK ABT THE LATEST MV IM GOING INSANE

tw for suicide, mention of alcohol

Admin Saturn: I now have a crush on kazui! The other admins have been trying to convince me that because his whole arc is showing why he's not a good husband to his wife but like bro... open marriage and a guy that buys me flowers and holds my hand and takes me on drives? Sounds pretty swaggy to me! Also he ate a bird! Thats kinda wack!

Overall based on the info we have and everything he's said in his VD (assuming its to be trusted cause he does have that whole lying thing going on), I would personally go with inno. Like unless his sin was suicide baiting her, I don't entirely see how this could turn into a guilty situation. Definitely not on the same level as a lot of the other prisoners. (looking at how guilty mahiru should be but isn't getting)

Admin Venus: I'll summarize what I talked about in my theory, but honestly, I feel like Kazui didn't do all that much wrong. He seems like he just kinda let life go the way other people wanted it to go for him, and somewhere along the way he realized he really didn't enjoy it. At some point he got "greedy" and took steps to try to change that, but his wife probably committed suicide or possibly got into some kind of accident or something. Either way, that's what resulted in her death.

Between that and him being useful on defense from a meta standpoint, I'm not sure why I would vote him guilty. I wish we knew more though, I feel like both half and Cat were pretty sparse on details relating to the actual death of his wife. Like, I understand your situation, Kazui, tell me what actually happened!

Side note though, it's really interesting to me in the audio drama that he says he wants Es to find out his sin. In the first trial, I'd thought his MV was giving nothing because he was purposefully burying details to hide them from us. After hearing that line in the audio drama and seeing this MV, I feel more like Kazui's repressing his feelings on whatever his sin is so hard that even the MVs can't quite get at them.

(Also, the fact that we still haven't seen anyone who he's romantically involved with (other than his wife) adds to the theory that he's gay for me. A lot of other people (Shidou's wife, Mahiru's lover, etc.) have gotten relevant characters' faces revealed this time, and while we did get that for Kazui's wife, I feel like who he was with would've been revealed to us unless there was a specific reason to hide it (ex. he was with a man).)

Admin Mercury here. Uhhh I really got nothing on my mind but shitposts tbh. When listening to his VD, I really got the impression he was still lying or at least being overly dramatic like the theater kid he is. Especially in this part:

(translation thanks to @/onigiriico) The way he delivers these lines seems so fake to me, but I realize this might just be personal bias talking. Idk yall, lemme know what you think ab his delivery in the comments below (PFFFT sorry)

Admin Neptune: I'm definitely team innocent. Although it seems like Kazui hurt his wife by not wanting to be married anymore, he tried to be a better person and stop lying to her. Unfortunately, according to him, this resulted in her death. It doesn't really seem like he did much wrong, especially compared with many of the other prisoners, and he helps keep the prisoners safe.

The part where his wife's image transforms into what is seemingly a man with an apple for a head (along with other parts such as the "I can't stop, I can't be normal") leads me to believe that he's gay. Assuming that the apple is supposed to represent something he feels is forbidden, this part could represent his desire to date/marry a man instead. I find it interesting that he sees this image through an alcoholic drink, and I feel like it represents something but I'm not completely clear on what.

Since Kazui says "I can't live unless I lie" as mentioned above in the VD, I wouldn't be surprised if he was still lying, but I do believe that he never actually cheated on his wife. I do wonder if he would consider "emotional cheating" infidelity, and it seems like the temptation might have been there when he says "it didn't even turn into infidelity."

[justsomeoneunordinary]

Why You Should Reblog Creative Work

Here’s the thing about tumblr and reblogs: A lot of tumblr olds will tell you how reblogging is the only way for a post—especially when it comes to creative work such as art, gifs, fics etc.—to be seen by other people in the first place, as tumblr doesn’t have an algorithm.

This is not quite true anymore. Tumblr does have an algorithm and it’s a pretty well working one, too. I actually do use the ‘For You’ page every now and then and it always shows me a few posts that absolutely are of my interest. Hell, it even shows me untagged posts, it even shows added commentary in reblogs that are relevant to my interest.

So, saying “a like does nothing on tumblr” isn’t true anymore. As I’ve already seen, you don’t even necessarily need to tag your posts anymore (text posts at least—I don’t believe it’d work with images) to reach your audience.

But, and there is a But, capital letters and all that jazz, tumblr is first and foremost a blogging website. You all have blogs, and when you post here you blog. The reblogging function is a deeply ingrained, essential feature of this site, and when bloggers stop using it, creators will stop creating. A lot of them have already stopped—it’s one of the reasons why I for example, as well as a lot of other writers I know, don’t post fics on here anymore and merely share a quick link to AO3.

This is a blogging website and people are killing it by not using it the way it’s supposed to be used. Yes, you can, technically still reach your audience even if you’re not being reblogged at all, but apart from the fact that a lot of tumblr olds don’t even look at the ‘For You’ page, nothing will spread creative work as fast as reblog chains will. Nothing will make sure your work will be seen at all, except when people reblog it.

Not to mention that the ‘For You’ page (or the ‘Based on Your Likes’ function which is mostly garbage unlike the ‘For You’ page tbh) will never be able to show you older work that could interest you too, and bring the creator joy by getting attention on something that’s already years old again. Only sharing the work and spreading the joy will work.

Also, because likes were pretty useless until recently, most tumblr users don’t see likes as in “hey, I liked this!” but more in a “I saw this” manner. Hell, that’s how I use the like button. Sure, I leave a like on things I do like (I wouldn’t leave it on a post I dislike, that makes no sense), but the like is mostly meant for me to remember I saw this already. To show appreciation I reblog/queue the post. Because that’s what reblogging to most of us means. It means “hey, I like this and I appreciate it and I want to share it so others see this amazing thing too!”

If you leave only a like and no reblog follows it eventually, to most of us it means “yeah, I liked this but not enough to have it on my own blog and share it with others”—and that’s discouraging as fuck. It’s like saying that the work we created isn’t good enough.

Obviously, you don’t have to reblog every art/gifs/fics/etc. you see if they don’t even interest you. But naturally, you wouldn’t leave a like on something you don’t like either, would you?

There’s, of course, also always this small portion of Big Artists who claim that reblogs aren’t that important and likes are just as appreciated, but those are usually the kind of artists who reach hundreds of reblogs, get lot of commentary on the work, kind asks and so on and so forth. Maybe once people stop interacting with their work they would change their tune, but as long as they don’t struggle with receiving appreciation for the creative work that took them hours and was created with passion and love, their opinion doesn’t really matter, as they’re in a huge minority with that view anyway.

(I am talking about creative work specifically here because honestly, no one gives a fuck if you reblog shitposts or not, as they don’t take even remotely the same amount of time as a single art piece does for example, and aren’t made with the same passion either. Ironically though, shitposts are the kind of posts that get the most reblogs anyway.)

At the end of the day, it’s really not that hard to reblog other people’s work. You don’t have to leave a comment in the tags/reblog either, as not everyone has the time and spoons to do so—I do promise you though that if you leave kind commentary underneath a creative work, you will make OP’s day—there’s even a quick reblog resp. a quick queue option on mobile and desktop, which takes you just as long to click as the like button. Literally just a second.

You can also always make (a) sideblog(s) for anything you don’t want to mix with the other things you post/reblog.

And it doesn’t matter if you have no followers or not many who would see the things you reblog either. OP doesn’t know that—all they do know is that someone appreciates the creative work they posted. And a reblog even with no commentary will always be more meaningful than a like.

Maybe it’s not important anymore on tumblr to get reblogs to reach an audience, but the reblogs are still necessary to keep the community alive. And by discarding the reblog function we’re effectively killing that community until there won’t be any creative work anymore and well… probably only memes and shitposts on here.

So instead of getting all prissily and calling creators “entitled” for asking for reblogs, as if it is such a hardship to click the button, you should maybe ask yourself why you’re so reluctant to reblog work that took hours to create in the first place, hm?

[h0n3yk1tt3n]

thoughts on the squip?

It's. Complicated.

Well the complicated part is what the fandom thinks of/does with the squip. Actual Canon squip in the show? ..also complicated bc Two River and Bway are vastly different ALMOST to the point of not even being the same character bdjdbddj OK ITS ALL COMPLICATED BUT FOR DIFFERENT REASONS, I'LL TRY NOT TO RAMBLE BUT I CANT MAKE PROMISES

Two River Squip

To me it's the best blend of intimidating "I wanna be that" and intimidating "I'm scared of that" where we can actually feel threatened by the "everything about you makes me wanna die" AND STILL get lulled into a false sense of security with "everything about you is going to be wonderful." It shifts between the two so well that you Think it's on your side Most of the time, but has questionable actions that you don't really know whether to trust or not. It goes from the encouraging "of course [she's talking about you], I've been activating your pheromones. Keep it up" to the almost menacing (albeit absurd) exchange of finding out about eminem. For anyone that needs a refresher, it goes as follows:

Jeremy: did you know this was going to happen?

Squip: of course not!

Jeremy: so it's a coincidence you told me to wear this shirt?

Squip: of course not.

Jeremy: what- did... did you kill eminem??

Squip: nooooot exactly. My quantum processor allows me to envision probable futures. While I did not know that today eminem would be impaled by that rogue hockey stick, I was aware of the probability of a... favorable outcome?

Jeremy: ...favorable for who?

Now this conversation doesn't change in the bway script (as far as I'm aware) but the tone of the scene changes significantly between productions for me because bway squip just. Doesn't come off as menacing to me, which leads intooo

Broadway Squip

I hate to say it because it just sounds like the same shallow shit from 2018 off-bway, but I just can't take the surfer dude voice seriously. And you can argue that you're not supposed to! This is kind of a comedic show first and dramatic show second. I mean it IS dramatic bc everything is dialed up to 11 but it's over-the-top dramatic and not oh-shit dramatic. Which is fine! It's a different take on the tone of the show! I just can't buy the intimidation of "everything about you makes me wanna die" or how fucking manipulative it REALLY is when the squip sounds stoned.

Headcanon Squip

I likes me a squip that feels much more cold and calculated. It'll Act Like it has your best interest in mind, but it doesn't care how it gets the results it wants. Doesn't care who gets hurt or Literally Dies to make all the pieces fall into place. Just reeeaaally lean into the emotionless computer tied solely to its programming aspect. Now ofc it'll Act Out emotions, but as a mimicking/manipulation tactic to get Jeremy to trust it more.

"A squip's sole purpose is to improve its user's life," it'll say, while electrocuting and psychologically tormenting you and arguing that, on a TECHNICALITY, your life is better because you have more friends and your dad wears pants now. Yes you hurt your best friend, yes you took advantage of a girl that really liked you, yes your friends got injured in a house fire, but it all worked out in the end didn't it? You win some, you come out of others with a little bit of PTSD.

Fanon Squips

Don't get me wrong, the shitposts are funny. Seeing all the squips riffing off of each other and showing their different personalities is great. Hell squip x squip ships are the ONLY ones ill accept. PEOPLE CAN SHITPOST ALL THEY WANT. I just think that the shitpost personalities put on the squips (particularly bway) make people forget that... this is the main antagonist of the show. And it's easier to forget that with bway I think, because this villain is made So Campy that you Forget To Take It's Actions Seriously.

This thing emotionally and physically abused Jeremy, and it's been boiled down SO MUCH into Haha Silly Sexy Computer that people forget (or flat out ignore) that THE SQUIP EXACERBATED DYWH.

Remember who the real villain is (Spoiler alert: not Chloe)

I've already gone on a whole tirade about how Chloe gets so much fucking hate for a goddamn teenager going through the hellish hierarchy of high school, AND I WILL REITERATE THAT IM NOT DEFENDING HER ACTIONS, but for fucks sake THE SQUIP PREVENTS JEREMY FROM MOVING. Can you think of how fucking terrifying that must've been? Not only is your girlfriend's drunk best friend trying to jump your bones, but the squip LITERALLY TAKES AWAY HIS ABILITY TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. The squip MAKES HIM drink the alcohol. The squip MAKES HIM kiss Chloe. THE COMPUTER IN HIS HEAD THAT CAN CONTROL HIS BODY HAS RENDERED HIM POWERLESS. As soon as the squip shuts down, HE GETS THE FUCK OUT OF THERE BECAUSE ITS NOT CONTROLLING HIM ANYMORE, showing that he ABSOLUTELY could've escaped sooner IF NOT FOR THE SQUIP.

Let's tally up those sins real quick.

Chloe, getting mixed messages as to whether Jeremy actually wants this or not because he 1. Says he has to go, but doesn't leave 2. Calls her the hottest girl in school (which Chloe misreads and takes as a kissing invitation) 3. Says he isn't a drinker, but drinks from the bottle anyway 4. Kisses her (which SHE doesn't know to be the squip's doings and not Jeremy's) 5. Finally conveys "I don't want this" with enough body language for Chloe to get the idea, at which point her only concern is just making Jake THINK she slept with Jeremy rather than actually DOING IT: let's call this 2 sins, because she 1. should've stopped her advances after Jeremy said he has to go and 2. Shouldn't have kissed him unprompted. Everything beyond that was ambiguous because she didn't know that the squip was controlling Jeremy.

Squip, KNEW Chloe wanted to jump Jeremy's bones and didn't CARE if Jeremy didn't want it, TOOK AWAY his ability to escape, DIDN'T WARN him that Chloe was about to kiss him, MADE him drink the alcohol, MADE him kiss Chloe, and had NO SIGNS of letting Jeremy go UNTIL IT GOT TURNED OFF: that ALONE is 6, NOT COUNTING THE REST OF THE SHOW.

In conclusion, Two River squip comes off as a more menacing villain than Bway, fanon squips are funny but feel like they've been watered down to jokes or thirst traps, and Chloe isn't WORSE than the squip (she fucked up, she's not IRREDEEMABLE)