#this was such a special series to work on and im SO proud to say i actually finished a ship week for once!!

[rendevok]

My illustrations for CJC Week 2022 - unofficially titled Green Carnations

Done in collaboration with my friend Zee, who wrote a lovely fic by the same title.

[nereidprinc3ss]

do you believe me now? | 4

in which spencer reid and inexperienced fem!reader are interrupted at the most inopportune of times. he calls you on the first night of his case. dirty talk turns into a hard conversation. we get a glimpse into spencer's past, and we finally learn why he's so hesitant to sleep with you.

series masterlist

18+ (smut) warnings/tags: dirty talk, phone sex/mutual masturbation, softdom!spence, obligatory he talks u through it, lots of graphic discussions of sex, established relationship, angst (sorrryyy!) a/n: so remember how i said you'd need the bonus chapter to fully appreciate/understand this part? i was wrong!! it will come in handy probably in the next part tho:) also idk how these parts keep getting so long im sorry! anyway, i love you all so bad. thank you for bearing w/ my craziness. PLEASE let me know your thoughts on this part!! i adore hearing from you!! kisses

(also special thank you to @fliesforeyes who convinced me phone sex w/ spence could be done!! i will link his phone sex blurb here :)) thank u binx!!

“Three million six hundred eighty four thousand three hundred thirty two times fourteen million seven hundred sixty one thousand nine hundred seventy one.”

You’ve lost count of how many stupid math questions you’ve asked your human calculator boyfriend, just to see if he can actually do them. Spencer is silent for a second, and you think you’ve finally stumped him. 

“That one is complicated.”

You sit bolt upright in his bed, looking down at him and pointing an accusatory finger. His brows raise at the manic look in your eye. 

“You don’t know.”

“I do know. I meant it would be hard to explain if you aren’t a math person.”

“Bullshit!” You scoff, “you don’t know!”

“It would display on a calculator as five-point-three-eight-eight-E-thirteen. It’s a really big number.”

“Oh, really big, huh?” you mumble, searching for your phone blindly in the sheets and scrambling to open the calculator app. “Um… what numbers did I say?”

Spencer repeats them back to you and you press the equals sign. 

You look at it. 

And then you set your phone down. 

“I was right, huh?” he smiles up at you, probably reveling in your pouty wrongness. 

Too proud to admit it, you collapse on top of him, burying your face in his shoulder. 

“I don’t like this game anymore. What the fuck even is an e? Why are we doing algebra?”

Spencer laughs, brushing your hair aside. 

“The e stands for exponent. It’s to the power of ten.”

“Ever heard of a rhetorical question?”

“Yes, I have.”

It’s hard not to snort even at his dumbest jokes. 

“You’re annoying. Let’s do something else.”

You roll over onto your back again, letting your head flop over to look at Spencer, whose hair is exactly the right amount of messy after a long day, falling in impossibly soft waves over the perfect lines and contours of his face. Despite lounging, he’s still in his suit from work—he’d left Quantico and immediately picked you up. There were no solid plans for the evening, so after both of you pretended that you wanted to go out for a while, you ended up back at his apartment. 

He looks good. Almost too good. 

“Something like what?” he smiles lazily, reaching over and tracing his fingers over your cheek. 

“Something… naked?”

His grin widens and he shakes his head. 

“Me naked or you naked?”

Pretending to think about it, you roll your bottom lip between your teeth. 

“Mm… why not both?”

“Hm. Why do I feel like I know where this is going?”

The mattress sinks underneath your elbow as you prop yourself up, dropping your head over Spencer’s to kiss him. 

“Because you’re so smart, and you think it’s a great idea.”

He entertains your kiss for a moment. Just a moment.

“You sound sure of yourself.”

“Because I am!” You finally give in to your impulses, tangling your fingers in his hair and looking at him meaningfully. “It doesn’t make any sense for us to have not had sex. I don’t care about any of your weird, cryptic moral reasoning.”

He grabs your wrist carefully. 

“It is not moral,” he scoffs. “We haven’t even talked about it yet.”

“Really? Because I feel like we’ve talked about it a lot.” 

He begins to reply, but you realize you don’t want to get into a debate over whether you’ve technically talked about it yet. “I don’t even care! If that’s all that’s standing in your way, then let’s talk about it. Right now.”

Spencer sighs, his eyes darting between yours as he reaches up to cradle your cheek. 

“Fine. But I have things to say you’re not going to like.”

“So business as usual?”

He rolls his eyes. You allow yourself a tiny self-satisfied smirk, forever relishing in his poorly-hidden soft spot for your constant teasing. Spencer ignores this. Which is probably for the best. 

“I know you probably won’t see it this way, but—sex is different than everything else we’ve done so far. It can be really fun, obviously it feels good, it facilitates deeper feelings of connection—that’s all true. Which is why, in my opinion, it’s incredibly important that you be selective with who you sleep with. Because it’s so easy to do something you regret, and sex is vulnerable. It should always be with someone you trust and—and… care about.”

A pink flush stains his cheeks like watercolor as he stumbles over the last few words. It makes your heart flutter against the confines of your chest.

Maybe best not to think about the absence versus presence of certain four-letter words and what they may or may not mean. You’ll move on to more pressing matters and pretend like it doesn’t ache just a little in your whole body. 

You cover his hand with your own. 

“Are you going to break up with me anytime soon?”

Spencer’s eyes widen, filling with genuine horror and confusion. 

“What? No!”

“Are you going to cheat on me?”

“Absolutely not, I—”

“Then I’m not going to regret it. Issue resolved. Moving on.”

“Honey, I just want you to be 100% sure that I’m what you want.”

“Oh my god,” you groan, flopping onto your back once more. “I have begged you to sleep with me on multiple occasions. We have been dating for months and I liked you even longer before that. I think about it literally every time I see you. I don’t know how to be any surer.”

It’s quiet for a moment as you study the imaginary pattern on the ceiling. The rebuttal you’d been anticipating doesn’t come—instead, the mattress shifts next to you. Spencer enters your field of vision, now leaning over you with a little smile on his face that gives you butterflies. 

“Every time?”

“…yes, every time,” you agree, voice considerably thinner than it had been a moment ago. Spencer glances at your lips as he speaks. 

“Interesting. And what is it that you think about exactly?”

You groan again, attempting to roll facedown, but he pins your shoulder to the bed. The way he’s sweetly kissing down your cheek and jaw is infuriating because you know it’s a false pretense. 

“Ugh, I don’t know! Don’t make me answer that!”

“You said if talking about it was all that was standing in my way, we would talk about it. Now I want to talk about it. Come on,” he says, voice low and cloying against your throat as he attempts to tease the answer out of you. “Tell me what you think about when you think about us having sex.”

You let out a shaky breath at the feeling of his lips skimming your neck, hating how easily he can reduce you to this. 

“I… I always wonder what it will feel like. Sometimes I wonder if it will hurt.”

Spencer sighs, interrogation by way of seduction momentarily forgotten. You silently curse yourself for saying something so un-sexy. 

“It might, sweetheart. That’s one of the reasons we’ve held back. I… really don’t want to hurt you. I don’t even know if I can.”

You grab his face in both hands, forcing him to look at you with more confidence than you feel. 

“Sometimes I worry about it, too. But I like you a lot more than it scares me. I still want to.”

He kisses your palm. 

“You’ll be okay. It doesn’t hurt for everyone, and even if it does, you’re resilient.”

“Exactly. So you have to get over yourself.”

Spencer laughs like he wasn’t expecting to, eyes sparkling as he regards you.  

“Yeah. Yeah, maybe I do.”

He’s smiling again as he leans down and kisses you—a slow, lingering thing which tastes like spearmint as you part your lips for him. 

“Please?” you whisper against him after a long moment. He hums, keeps kissing you. 

“What is it that you think you want? You don’t even know what you’re asking for.”

“Tell me,” you beg, chasing his lips. “Tell me what you’re going to do with me. We can talk about it. This is talking about it.”

Spencer exhales deeply, wedging a thigh between yours. Immediately you clamp around it, trying not to grind against him too overtly. 

“You want to know what I’d do to you?”

“Yes—” you paw at his jacket. Surprisingly, he doesn’t stop you from pushing it off. Your heart pounds. 

“Well… we both know how anxious you get,” he muses, pressing his lips so delicately to your fluttering pulse-point in emphasis, and then back to your mouth. His thigh pushes harder against you to supplant the absence of his lips as he speaks, though he kisses you sporadically and between sentences. “You’re hard to get out of your head when you’re nervous, you know that? I watch it happen. One minute you’re with me, and then you start overthinking, and getting self-conscious. The only thing that seems to relax you is letting me touch you—so first I would touch you like I’ve touched you before. I’d make sure you know how pretty you are and how good you deserve to feel.” You whimper inadvertently at his words, arching into him and grinding against his leg as he pauses to kiss the sensitive soft spot below your jaw. “You’re going to need to be really ready to let me in. Do you know what I mean by that?”

As he asks, he pushes his thigh against you harder. Your body responds immediately, arching into him and seeking more friction. When you squeak, he takes it as a no. 

“I mean I need you relaxed and wet. You’ll excuse my crude language.”

You pull at his tie, breathing heavier now and so turned on it’s almost painful. 

“What are you gonna do after that?”

“What else is there to do but fuck you after that?” he breathes. “You want me to tell you how I’d fuck you?”

Something about it makes you whine salaciously. You’ve heard him curse—you’ve even heard him talk about fucking you. But it feels more real now; when it’s low in your ear and you’re covertly undressing him and he’s pushing your shirt over your stomach promisingly. 

“Yes, please.” 

He hums against your jaw, nipping and brushing his lips over the skin as he considers. Leaves you waiting. 

“I would have to take my time with you. You’ll be overwhelmed. I know you think you won’t, but you will. I’m going to have to be so, so careful with you, angel. It’s going to drive me insane. But it will feel good for you.”

“Why careful? I don’t want that.”

He chuckles. A chill runs down your spine. 

“Yeah, you do. You’re going to want me to be careful when I’m—” he pauses, pressing his thumb to your bare lower tummy and dragging up to a spot below your belly button. He presses down lightly again. “Right here. Approximately.”

The surface of the sun has nothing on the temperature of your skin in this moment, as you writhe underneath him in both arousal and embarrassment. Mostly, burning need. You feel almost sick with it. 

“Please don’t make me wait anymore. Just do it, please, Spencer. I need it to be you, I don’t want it to be anyone else. I promise I’m ready.”

It’s silent for a moment. Your heart quickens. You sense his walls wearing away, his instinct to keep you intact for god knows what reason crumbling. He’s finally going to give you what you’ve been begging for. 

Spencer opens his mouth, eyes glimmering—

And then his phone rings. 

You both freeze—he melts dejectedly before you do, more accustomed to an ill-timed phone call and realizing the finality it can present. 

He’s breathing heavily against your neck, as if maybe whoever it is will just hang up. But the phone keeps ringing. 

“I’m sorry.”

Your stomach sinks as he sits up, grabbing his phone from the side table and rubbing circles on your inner thigh as he answers.

“This is Reid,” he says, lackluster. 

If you wanted, you could hear what Penelope is saying—but you don’t bother listening. It’s going to be a case. Spencer is about to leave. The details are his problem. 

“Okay. I’ll be there in an hour.”

He hangs up, tossing the phone onto the mattress and not speaking for a moment, just continuing to rub your leg apologetically. Watching you almost mournfully—taking in your disheveled hair, your likely blown-out pupils, the shirt pushed almost over your chest. 

“I have to go right now,” he finally manages with a heavy sigh, gently pulling your shirt back into place. 

You sit up, shedding all the hopes that had been building for the evening, and try to sound chipper—though all you feel is bitter disappointment that goes deeper than you understand. 

“I know. Go ahead, I can get a cab home.”

He frowns, running his hand over the back of your hair. 

“I don’t love the idea of you standing on the sidewalk waiting for a car in this part of town so late. Do you just want to stay here for the night and go home tomorrow?”

You force a smile. Great. So you’ll be spending the night in his bed after all—just without him. 

“Sure. Thanks.”

“Yeah.”

Neither of you are feeling particularly grateful. 

Soon you’re walking him to his own door. Both of you come to a stop in front. 

“I’m sorry,” he sighs again. 

“Spencer, it’s fine. It’s your job. You don’t need to apologize. You were very clear about this part when we started dating.”

“I know, but… it’s easier in theory than in practice.”

You smile. If Spencer is a reflection of you, it doesn’t quite reach your eyes. His hair is still messy from your fingers running through it and he’s missing his tie. You hope all his coworkers see and feel bad about taking him away from you. 

But it’s not their fault. You just want someone to blame. 

Instead you mould yourself to his body, wrapping around him like you belong there. He returns your embrace, pressing his lips into the crook of your shoulder and rubbing your back in that way he always does with you. 

In that moment, your affection for him becomes so profound it’s like a chemical reaction—everywhere he touches burns and you love him so fucking much it aches in every inch of your body the way your muscles do when you have a bad fever. Love is the most terrible of afflictions, you realize. It is a fever dream. It’s every fiber of your being screaming to tell him how you feel, to beg him on your knees not to go because you love him like a child loves a parent or a bee loves honeysuckle or the ocean loves the horizon. Pared down to your most basic components, the barest version of yourself, you require him. Your soul needs his soul. 

“Spencer?”

“Hm?” 

It’s nothing more than an absentminded hum against your skin. 

“I…”

Should you be looking him in the eye when you say this? Should you say it right before he has to leave? Just because you say it doesn’t change the fact that he’s about to be gone for several long days. Maybe this is a terrible time to admit something that suddenly feels so true and so consequential. 

He senses your internal conflict, pulling back despite your resistance and holding your face between his hands. 

“You what?” He murmurs, soft eyes bouncing back and forth between your own. Fuck—you feel so observed, now. Like he can read your mind. 

“I forget.”

FUUUUUUCK. 

Spencer blinks. Processes. You watch the disbelief crystallizing over his eyes like ice freezing over a lake. 

He knows. 

He knows you didn’t forget, and he probably knows what you were going to say, and he’s going to tell himself he was wrong to spare your dignity. 

Everything hurts when he kisses you. You wonder what regret tastes like. 

“Well, let me know if you remember.”

It’s too gentle and at the same time he can’t hide the edge with all the tenderness in the world. You nod as if in a trance, already looking forward to dissociating as you lie in bed and stare at the dark ceiling.

Two small goodbyes are exchanged, slightly stifled now, as if shared between drunk strangers who have sobered up and are mutually embarrassed about how candidly they’d interacted before. 

You close the door behind him, doing up all the locks, and meticulously flick every light switch in the apartment off before climbing into his bed—though you don’t really feel like you deserve to be there anymore.

But perhaps this is all an overreaction. It’s not like you owe it to him to say I love you, or anything—it was bad timing, anyway. And why can’t he say it? In fact, why hasn’t he said it? 

Maybe you have it all wrong. 

Maybe he doesn’t feel that way about you. 

You fall asleep before you allow these questions to make you sick. 

24 hours go by. 

24 hours go by and you really had meant to leave his apartment—it was just that you woke up late, and your phone was dead so you couldn’t call a car, so you charged it while you made breakfast, and then you ate, and then you decided to take a shower and wash your clothes, and then it was two in the afternoon and you hadn’t left yet and you decided to walk to the store and replenish the groceries you’d used up. 

Maybe you got a bit distracted looking at flowers and other beautiful things at the market and by the time you got home it was 5:00, so you decided to wait until seven to skip rush hour. And then eight, just to be sure. 

Before you know it, it’s midnight, and you’re dozing off in his bed again (teeth cleaned with the brush you’d bought at the store—maybe this whole situation hadn’t been entirely unwitting on your part.)

Throughout the day, you tried to let all your anxiety about the previous night melt away. If it’s something that needs to be addressed, Spencer will address it. Everything will work out in the end. That thought is how you’re able to doze off. 

You’re almost asleep when your phone lights up and begins buzzing on the side table. You wince as your eyes open, not adjusting well to the harsh bright display and unable to discern who’s even calling you at this hour. Stupidly, probably because you’re half asleep, you answer without checking. 

“Hello?”

Your voice is groggy, quiet with sleep. 

“Shit, did I wake you?”

“Spence?” you whisper, stomach flipping at the sound of his voice on the other line. You feel caught, still sleeping in his bed. 

“… yeah,” he chuckles. “Did you not check who was calling before you picked up?”

“I was asleep,” you pout. “Kinda.”

“Okay. Go back to sleep, honey. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

You sit bolt upright, phone balanced between tense fingers and speaking directly into the microphone. 

“No! No, I’m awake. What’s up? Why did you call?”

A longer stretch of silence—you’re too sleepy to comprehend what it might mean, though never too sleepy to worry about it. With a pang of pain, you recall your strange goodbye, the words you hadn’t said. 

“I just needed to hear your voice,” he sighs. You frown, staring at nothing in particular in the pitch black room. 

“Oh. Is everything okay?”

“As much as it can be.”

“Right.”

More quiet. You chew on the inside of your cheek, stricken with a sudden feeling of awkwardness that you haven’t had with Spencer in a while. 

“I’m sorry… I don’t really know what to say.”

“That’s okay,” he says, and you can hear the smile in his voice which makes you feel a bit better, “why don’t you tell me about your day? Or you can absolutely go back to sleep, if you’re too tired.”

“Don’t ask me about my day,” you whisper, flopping down on the bed once more. Shame seeps into your voice. He laughs. 

“What? Why?”

“Because if I tell you you’re going to think I’m super weird and you’re going to break up with me.”

Laughter tapers off into gentler tones. 

“I already think you’re super weird. It’s actually one of your most attractive qualities.”

Blood rushes to your cheeks. 

“But it’s like… borderline crazy.”

Immediately, he replies, “for better or worse, I also frequently find myself attracted to crazy.”

“Thank you for calling me crazy and super weird,” you grumble. 

“I also called you attractive twice. Tell me.”

When his tone takes on that easy, assertive quality, and it’s sort of raspy and low because it’s late and he’s been talking all day, and you can hear the lazy smile on his face—you imagine him laying on his hotel bed, arm slung over his eyes in the dark as he grins into the microphone—you have a very difficult time saying no. 

“Fine. Guess where I am right now.”

“Um, I would hope you’re in bed?”

You smile to yourself, basking in the victory of successfully throwing him off his game even slightly. 

“Guess whose bed.”

Silence. 

“What an interesting question.” That cocky smile, the low drawling is back, and you chew on your lip, ignoring the shiver that runs down your spine. “If it’s not mine or yours, we’re going to have issues.”

“But if it is yours? You’re not going to call the police on me?”

“Why would I call the police? To tell them there’s a pretty girl in my bed and I don’t want her there?”

“To tell them your psychopathic girlfriend broke into your apartment and might be holding hostages there.”

Spencer laughs; a brittle, drawn out thing, flat and quiet as the desert.

“If you were a psychopath, calling the cops would be a waste of time. I would handle you myself.” The idea of being handled has your thighs clenching. “But—yeah, don’t invite anyone else in.” More humor finds its way into his voice, momentarily relieving some tension that had sneakily begun to build. “Having people in my space makes me anxious.”

“But not me?” Your whisper is half flirtatious, half insecure. Spencer’s reply is soft, as if he’s picking up on this from hundreds of miles away.

“No, not you. You are always the exception.”

“Good,” you say, cheeks aching as you half-bury your warm face into his pillow. “Because I made myself really comfortable. You have a nice shower, by the way.”

Spencer groans. 

“You’re killing me.”

“What? What did I do!”

“Don’t talk to me about my bed and my shower. I might start to think you’re intentionally being a brat.”

“You asked me about my day! I’m just telling you what I did!”

But you’re also intentional teasing him for sure.  After a pause, he sighs in defeat. 

“You’re right. I did do that. Tell me what else happened.”

“Well,” you begin, all too eager, “I had to put my clothes in the dryer after I got out, so I borrowed some of yours. But then they were way comfier than mine, so after I went to the store I put them back on, and—”

“Okay.”

“Okay what?” you frown. 

“Tell me what this is.”

“I—I don’t know what you mean.”

Lying to a profiler is usually pointless. 

“I’m not stupid, sweetheart. Tell me why you keep talking about my shower and my bed and my clothes.”

Caught red-handed. Your skin heats up. 

“I don’t know. I miss you.”

He hums in a way that blurs the line between sympathetic and patronizing. Even through the phone you can feel the bass of it in your bones.  It changes the frequency you’re vibrating at. It’s hypnotic. 

“But that’s not really why you’re being intentionally provocative, is it?”

“No,” you admit quietly. “I’m still upset you had to go last night.”

“So you’re frustrated and you’re taking it out on me?”

Your brow furrows. Well, when he puts it like that…

“I’m not taking anything out on you.”

“I think you are. And I don’t appreciate that, because I’m on your side, honey. Do you think I prefer being in a hotel bed by myself or being in my bed with you?”

Somehow, he makes you feel like a scolded child. But he makes it appealing in ways you don’t understand. 

“Your bed with me,” you murmur, skin prickling with the coldness of his absence even as you curl under the blanket. 

“Right. So why don’t you tell me what I can do for you right now, instead of punishing me for things that are beyond my control?”

“I wasn’t punishing you,” you mutter. 

“No? You weren’t intentionally talking about using my shower and sleeping in my bed and putting on my clothes so that I’d have to think about what I can’t have right now?”

“I—”

“Believe me when I tell you I have been thinking about what I can’t have, all day. Your efforts are entirely redundant and you can’t say anything about yourself that is even close to as dirty as the frankly disrespectful thoughts I’ve been having about you for seventeen hours.”

The lack of air is making you so dizzy your vision goes gray at the edges. 

“What… what thoughts?”

“None that you need to concern yourself with.”

“You can’t just say something like that and then not tell me!” you insist. He’s obviously giving you a taste of your own medicine and it’s fair but it doesn’t mean you have to like it. 

“I can do whatever I want,” Spencer corrects cooly in a way that pisses you off beyond belief because he’s right. It triggers some adolescent immaturity within you—a desire to get back at him, so to speak. He wants intentionally provocative? He can have it. 

“Fine. Then so can I. And there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it even if I could.”

“Spencer,” you warn. “If you don’t tell me what you were thinking I’m gonna—” you look around the room for ammo. “I’m gonna look through your nightstand!”

“Go ahead. I’ll warn you, it’s not very interesting.”

“Sounds like what someone who has something hide would say,” you mumble, crawling across the mattress through tangled sheets and using your phone flashlight to open the drawer. 

Spencer is patient and silent as you take in its contents—a small blue leather-bound notebook (full of what looks like Russian), a fountain pen, a glasses case, various kinds of vitamins, and—

“Spencer Reid,” you say, dragging out his name and pretending nothing is fluttering in your stomach, “what are these?”

“I don’t know. I can’t see what you’re referring to.”

“Take a wild guess.”

“Oh, I have one. But I’d like to hear you say it.”

You realize you may have gotten yourself in deeper than you meant to by going through his stuff. Well—they don’t say karma is a bitch for nothing. 

“What are you doing with a box of condoms?” 

He chuckles and you feel it in your whole body, warm as you stretch across his mattress and eye the box like it might jump out at you. 

“Those are years old. I’ve used three since I bought them.”

“Don’t tell me that,” you whine. “I don’t wanna think about all the other women you’ve seduced.”

“You wanted them to be for you, huh?” 

You flush. Honestly you hadn’t even thought about that. 

“I… I don’t know. I kind of just assumed…”

It’s silent for a second and you frown, realizing you hadn’t even considered protection when you’d imagined sleeping with him before. 

“You assumed what, honey?” he asks, voice soft. 

“It’s dumb. I can’t tell you.”

“You can tell me anything. I’m not going to think it’s dumb, I promise.”

You chew on your lip, letting your eyes unfocus on the box as you muster the courage to be honest. 

“Whenever I imagined it… we didn’t… use anything.”

The words make you cringe even as you’re saying them. So does the quiet that follows. 

“When you imagine us sleeping together, we don’t use a condom?”

“Ah!” The phone drops to the mattress as you cover your ears and roll onto your side, curling into yourself once more. “You didn’t have to say��it! You make me sound so weird!”

“It’s not weird,” he laughs, because he can probably imagine exactly what you just did, “I just wanted to make sure I was understanding you. That said… we would definitely use protection.”

“Do we have to?”

The quiet words take even you by surprise—and they seem to stun Spencer as well. Several false starts are punctuated by a sigh as he gathers his thoughts. 

“We really should, baby. That’s the kind of thing we need to take seriously.”

“But you’re… you’re good, right?”

Thankfully he picks up on your meaning. 

“I am. I wouldn’t touch you if I weren’t.”

“And I’m good. So...”

“Hm. And has anyone ever explained to you where babies come from?”

You groan in frustration. 

“Spencer, I’m being serious! There are ways to negate that.”

“Honey,” he murmurs, “I understand that. But it would be irresponsible of me to say yes. We can talk about it in the future, but—”

“I’m telling you it’s already dealt with. The chances of an accidental pregnancy are slim to none.”

The new information hangs in the air for a moment until Spencer speaks—to your surprise, his voice is low and humorous. 

“That is… good to know. But even so—I’m setting a dangerous precedent if I always let you get exactly what you want.”

“Is it such a bad thing that I just wanna—I wanna know what it feels like? You don’t want that?”

“That’s not what I said. I want to know exactly what you feel like. I’m just hesitant to give in so quickly because it makes me look weak.”

You laugh breathlessly, caught between being turned on by the first part of his sentence and amused by the sarcastic second half. Your thighs clench and your hand absentmindedly wanders between them. 

“You know what I was thinking about?” you ask. Spencer hums curiously. “I was thinking about when you let me, um… when you let me touch you how you touch me.” He hums again, but you can hear the amused curve of a smile in it now.

“When you had your mouth all full of me and you looked so pretty?”

“When I—yeah,” you agree, too caught up to deny his compliment as your fingers brush your most sensitive spot through clothing. “And  how you got me all messy after. And I was wondering what it would feel like… inside me.”

He sucks in a breath. Your legs brush against each other and you twist slightly as you pretend like you’re not touching yourself just a little bit. 

“You want me to come inside you?”

“Yeah,” you whisper, brain short-circuiting at the way those words sound in his voice. 

—

On the other side of the line, Spencer isn’t doing a fantastic job of thinking clearly either. His dick is half-hard already and it’s only getting worse with each little noise you make that you don’t seem to realize you’re making. 

“Really? That would be very messy, baby. I’m surprised that’s what you want.”

“But I really want it,” you breathe. He’s not even looking as he slips his hand under the waistband of his pajamas and palms himself, his other hand rubbing tiredly over his face as his phone rests on his chest. This was not how he intended for this call to go, believe it or not—but he’s here now. 

“Yeah? Is that why you’re touching yourself right now?”

You go silent—which is more or less exactly the reaction Spencer had been expecting. Patiently he waits for you to deny it, in three, two—

“’M not.”

Now, he could explain how he knows that’s a lie. How your breathing pattern changed, and your voice got softer and airier, and how you started speaking with smaller words in fragmented sentences. But he doesn’t feel like explaining any of that. 

“I know that’s not true,” he murmurs. “You know what? It wasn’t fair to get you all worked up last night and then leave. I don’t want you frustrated, honey. I want you to do whatever you need to do.”

You make a little gasping noise, and Spencer can imagine the way your back would arch when you did it. His own hips buck slightly as his dick twitches under his fingers. 

“Where are you touching?”

“Um—over my clothes.”

Cute. 

“Go under them for me. Tell me how it feels when you’re touching yourself like that.”

It takes a moment, in which all he hears is the rustling of fabric, until you’re whispering, “feels… it feels good. I wish you were here.”

He inhales, freeing his cock and squeezing the base. 

“I know. Just listen to my voice, pretty. I’m right here.”

Spencer allows himself a few slow tugs as he imagines what’s happening in his bed. You make a squeaking noise, like a held-back moan, and his eyes screw shut. 

“I need them inside,” you whine, and he knows you’re referring to his fingers—the ones currently stroking his own leaking cock. 

“You can use your own, just give yourself a minute first. Remember what I said about needing to be ready?”

“I am ready—” judging by the surprised chirp you interrupt yourself with, you’ve proven yourself right. What surprises Spencer is the weak sound of disappointment you make next. “Spence, it doesn’t feel the same.”

“We’re different sizes, honey. Your hands aren’t as big as mine. But you can still make it feel good.” 

He almost says, 90% of the nerves in the vaginal canal are located in the lower third—in other words, within approximately 2.36 inches from the opening, which you can most certainly reach—but he refrains. He’s not sure if that’s good dirty talk. 

“You have a really sensitive spot about three inches up, right in front. It’s going to feel a little different than the rest of you when you touch it. I want you to try and find it for me, okay?”

“Okay,” you breathe, ever-eager to please even from a great distance. There’s a quiet moment. “I can’t—I don’t think I can r—oh,”

The moan is so pretty Spencer can’t help speeding up the motion of his hand, hissing slightly as his fingers brush against the angry tip with every pump. 

“Did you find it?”

“Yeah,” you whine, a weak, high-pitched thing. “Oh my god.”

“Be gentle,” he warns with some effort as his own hips jump slightly. “You’re really sensitive there. If you’re not careful you’ll make yourself sore.”

“I don’t care—holy shit—” the way your voice rises and tightens to a squeak at the end has Spencer moaning as he fucks his fist. A black hole forms and warps time, turning every minute into a second and every second into an infinity until he has no idea how much time is going by. He drags his thumb over the tip, smearing precum over his cock and whining as his jaw drops at the feeling. “Oh my god, Spencer,” in that same strained, high voice. “’M gonna—ah!”

He gets the general sentiment. 

“What, baby? You’re gonna make yourself come all over your fingers? Is that what you wanted to tell me?”

“Mhm!”

“Yeah, I bet you are. It feels good, huh?”

“Yes,” you cry. 

“See? You don’t need my fingers to feel good. Mine barely fit, you know that? I have to hold your fucking hips down whenever I put my fingers in you because you can’t stop squirming. I don’t know how you think you’re going to take my cock.”

“Spencer!” 

He knows. 

“Come, baby. Let me hear you.”

The delicate sounds you make as you bring yourself to orgasm tip him over the edge of his own—grunting as he comes all over his fist. 

“Jesus,” he strains under his breath, the word dragging out into two long syllables as his hips buck involuntarily and cum drips down his knuckles. He’s lightheaded and he’s created a mess and it all happened so quickly. “Fuck,” he breathes, a rasping chuckle as he reaches for the towel he’d dropped on the bed after his shower earlier. “You conscious over there?”

“I’m conscious,” you slur, breathing heavily. “I’ve never had an orgasm by myself before.”

“Are you proud of yourself?” Spencer smiles, wiping his hand off and making sure he’s otherwise clean. “You should be. I am.”

He’s barely kidding. 

“I’ll be proud when I can do it without your help,” you tease. 

“But I’ll always want to help you with that.” His already warm face flushes further as he goes over what he’d said. “Sorry I was so vulgar.”

You laugh. He blushes even more. 

“Are you? I think you secretly love being vulgar.”

“I don’t know why! I have no idea where it comes from. I would never speak that way in any other context. I should probably work on that. Sometimes I look back on the things I say and I’m genuinely appalled.”

“Well, don’t stop on my account. Personally I enjoy it.”

“Yeah, I think I’m corrupting you. You probably shouldn’t enjoy it.”

The truth of it weighs heavy on his mind, but he’s pretty sure his voice alone doesn’t betray that and you can’t sense it through the phone. 

“Oh, my god. Do not do that falling on your sword shit. I like being corrupted by you. If you stop I’ll be very upset.”

“Well god forbid you get upset,” he teases gently. Idly he wonders if the reason he’s suddenly feeling so depressed is because his cortisol levels were already high from the case, and then he jarred his system with an orgasm, spiking his dopamine and ultimately causing it to plummet without the oxytocin release that post-coital physical contact would usually provide. 

Or if it was something else. It could also be something else. 

For the millionth time, he wishes he was with you. Part of him also wants to go to sleep. But mostly he wishes he was with you. 

—

A comfortable silence settles over the conversation. In the ditch between words, you’re mapping constellations in the texture of Spencer’s ceiling. If you squeeze your eyes almost shut, you can imagine it really is the night sky. You can imagine he’s really here. 

You think about what he said—his apparently mindless vulgarity. Did it mean anything? Or was he just rambling to get you off?

“Spencer?” you murmur. 

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you a question?”

He sounds earnest, perhaps a little tired, as he replies, “always,” through the little metal rectangle on your chest. He likes me and my questions are important to him, you repeat to yourself silently as you work up the strength. 

“If Penelope hadn’t called, last night… were you going to have sex with me?” 

Your lip tastes like his toothpaste as you chew it. Spencer sucks in a breath of air like he’s about to speak—and lets it fizzle out like foam on a carbonated drink. 

“I don’t know,” he finally admits, lamely. “That wasn’t my plan, but you can be extremely convincing when you want to be.”

“But why can’t it be your plan?” It’s an almost whine, pouty and childish—but the next words are quiet and pained. “Is it something I’m doing wrong?”

“No, no! It’s not you. You’re perfect. It’s—it’s complicated. It’s a me thing.”

Such trite words—such a ubiquitous, simple excuse sounds almost comical from his mouth when you know he’s capable of all the eloquence in the world. It’s not you, it’s me. It’s ridiculous. 

“Okay. Let me simplify this for you,” you begin with an uncharacteristic assertiveness that surprises even you. “I want to have sex with you. Either we are going to have sex or we’re not. So your future branches in two diverging paths. In one, we have sex, and then we keep having sex. In the other we never have sex ever. If you want to ever have the privilege of fucking me, then we just have to do it. Otherwise it simply will never happen. And I’m not eternally patient, Reid.”

Go me, you think, slightly breathless from your monologue. 

“Watch your mouth,” he says dryly. Something about the chastisement makes your stomach flip and your whole body tingle. “When you talk to me you call me Spencer. I will also accept Doctor Reid.” You wrestle down a smile, refusing to let him change the subject. A delayed sigh from him sobers up the conversation. “You know what I want. I’ve been very clear with you about that. But…”

“But…?”

Another sigh. A deeper, shuddering sigh, like his breath is searching for balance. Like Spencer is in a precarious position for which he was unprepared. 

“But—but to be completely honest… I worry that you’ll regret choosing me. And I know virginity is a social construct and I’m not implying that your worth will somehow be diminished if we have sex but regardless of my views on virginity as a construct, having sex for the first time can be weird and scary and it’s incredibly intimate and I don’t want you to regret your first time like I regret mine because you chose the wrong person.”

The words come at you so rapid-fire it takes you a moment to process them. And aside from all the ways you want to reassure him that you will not regret choosing him—that you could never, ever regret anything about him—one thing stands out. 

“You regret your first time?” 

Something between a scoff and a sigh travels through the line. You can tell he’s not annoyed at you for asking so much as he’s flustered himself with all his own words as he occasionally does. 

“Yeah. Yes. Sometimes I do. The person—she didn’t… like me as much as I liked her. And I was really, really in love with her, and she knew that and she knew she wasn’t in love with me—or maybe she was, I don’t know—but my point is, when one person likes the other more than the other person like them, things get complicated. And however you feel about me—that’s fine. It’s fine. I don’t want you to feel bad if we don’t feel exactly the same way about each other. I understand that this is newer for you, it’s different, I—I just don’t want us to do something we can’t undo because I don’t want to relive that. And I’m not saying it will never happen but I just don’t want you to make this choice when… when right now, I think we’re in different places emotionally. Regardless of that, I want you to choose the right person. I don’t want you to choose me and then find out that we feel differently after we sleep together and leave you feeling like you signed up for something you didn’t understand. I’m sorry. Maybe telling you this is selfish. But I’ve been thinking about it and trying to ignore it and I think I just have to be completely honest.”

Your ears ring like Spencer just fired a blank right into the microphone. Like you just got backhanded across the face and now you have the world’s worst case of whiplash. 

Every finger is numb and your blood is so cold it feels blue as it slithers thick through your veins. 

What you want to do is scream. What you want to do is go back to last night and stop yourself from almost telling him I love you, slap yourself and keep your cards a little closer to your chest. Because now he knows, and he doesn’t feel the same. 

You want to scream bloody murder. 

But when you try, when you unhinge your jaw and part your chapped lips and expect a bellow to come hurdling up the corridor of your throat with so much force it rattles your bones, all that falls out is a small, “oh.”

Maybe that’s worse. 

Spencer doesn’t reply. You hate yourself for feeling obliged to fill the silence. 

“I didn’t realize you…”

I didn’t realize that you don’t love me back. 

I didn’t realize I like you more than you like me. 

I didn’t realize you’d tell me to masturbate in your fucking bed and then drop this not even five minutes later. 

If Spencer Reid was able to talk to you over the phone with the same amount of affection and familiarity as always, like everything was still okay, knowing you love him and he doesn’t love you the whole time, he is not who you thought he was. 

“I’m sorry,” he lamely says again, like it could ever help. 

More silence. Now you can’t bring yourself to speak, so Spencer does. 

“I realize how awkward this is. I really didn’t mean to put you in this position. Especially not over the phone when I—god, I’m stupid. I’m sorry. But can we—can we talk about this in person when I get back? Please?”

Is that what grownups do? Is the proper etiquette for him to take you out to dinner and explain why he’s not in love with you? Is he going to break up with you?

What does one even wear to a breakup date?

“Okay,” you whisper. Your eyes sting, your everything stings, like you’ve been wrapped in a shroud of briar. Sheets that were soft a moment ago feel like sandpaper on open wounds. You feel like an open wound. 

Spencer sighs. It’s a sound of relief that confuses and hurts you even more. 

“Okay. I—okay. Thank you. Um—I’ll let you go back to sleep, now.”

“Okay,” you repeat—as if any of this were okay. But you can’t keep being that stupid girl who feels it all so much harder, who loves easily and begs to be loved in return, too naive to assume that someone who treats her so kindly might not reciprocate her feelings. It has to be okay, because if it’s not, you’re silly and dramatic and you’re just proving him right. 

“Goodnight,” Spencer whispers, and you can’t help but feeling that it’s the last time you’ll ever hear those words from his mouth while you’re in his bed. And he’s not even fucking here.

So you pull the blanket a little higher. You let your tears stain his pillow because they’ll be invisible by the morning. It will be like they were never here. Like you were never here. 

“Goodnight.”

-

part five

[dictatortirah]

Welcome to Gleamfolk City!!!

All you need to know bout da main story! Doin dis so new ppl can grasp da story too

WTGC is a story that takes place in a city that claims to be the happiest place on earth where nothing bad ever happens! Gleamfolk City has basically everything to keep someone happy. Jobs, free public transport, all types of food, etc... all accessible as long as you smile!

There are three main characters: Nero, the pessimist. The city can't make him happy no matter what. Sniper, the optimist. Blind but she can still be happy, even without the city's gifts. And Hemlock, the realist. They just don't care.

The story is mainly episodic, meant to be a fun series with a linear story. Mostly starring Nero as he goes through unfortunate situations daily, getting hit with bad luck here and there and sometimes even near-death situations.

Through these situations, he learns that the city is being controlled by this worm-like entity that claims itself to be a god, calling himself Gura. It is Gura's influence and control that keeps the citizens happy and oblivious to issues as long as they're in the city.

In his past life, Gura was a king but got his physical form petrified and destroyed. Now, he can only show himself in dreams or by possessing someone in order to influence(mostly brainwash) the waking world. His main goal is to gain as much power as possible and be worshipped.

Being a powerful worm god, Gura has disciples all over the city who are responsible for spreading his power to other citizens and keeping them "happy". These disciples are fully aware of Gura's presence, having their own special abilities to do their jobs.

As Nero's only best friend, Nero tries his best to protect Sniper from getting under any control by Gura and keep her "genuinely" happy. He makes sure she's unaffected by any of Gura's disciples and keeps her oblivious to any issues that happen in the city. He often gets hurt tho

To stop Gura's reign of power, Nero works with Hemlock, a washed-up detective who used to be respected but due to Gura's control over the city, everyone just has no need for them anymore since no one believes there are any problems in the city. They're a bit of a dick but genuine

There are other major bad guys besides Gura who have a huge role in the story! Mallet, Nero's insane amnesiac brother and only remaining tie to his past. Orchid, mayor of the city who's currently Gura's host, but plans to overthrow him and take his power for herself instead.

Since Nero is the only one who is immune to Gura's power and knows about it, Gura constantly torments him and tries to stop him from defeating his disciples. He also absolutely hates Nero so much that he'd protect Nero from the other bad guys just so that he can kill Nero himself

The story does have violence and disturbing imagery later on, as the themes start getting darker. The more disciples Nero defeats and learns about the city, more is revealed about Gura's dark intentions

(art by my cool bro @blankboyo

That's all im gonna say for now!! Of course there's more story stuff, with more characters and other major events, but this is just the main gist of everything I'm really proud of this series and hope to bring it to life someday, but for now it's going to be a comic

[ravengards-rogue]

the evening stretch | warm-up series.

ft. the prompts, nsfw / "dinner" / arthur morgan.

✧ tags : afab!reader + fem!reader outdoors sex, oral (f!recieving), reader is an outlaw, established relationship, desperate arthur morgan, 18+

✧ wc : 2.7k

✧ a/n : hello! this is part of a little warm-up series i do on my other blog where i pick three prompts and try to come up with something. i normally do them in a rut. im working on a commission and im super stuck so.

this actually landed on javier four times in a row but im being kind and sparing a friend so. here's mr. morgan.

✧ synopsis : arthur thinks the place between your legs would suit him quite nicely.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖˚☽˚｡⋆

Honest to God, Arthur's never been like this before.

He ain't all that pious to start, so perhaps the sentiment doesn't stretch as far as he would like it too. But it's true, all the same - that in all the lives he's lived, he's never experienced this much bone-deep desire for another human being.

Which is outright ridiculous, since right now you're just making supper. Dinner, you always clarify with that yankee accent. You're going to have dinner together, 'cause Arthur needs to eat. He works hard, according to you.

It's not much, but you're a better cook than Pearson. Even if that's not saying a whole lot. And you're insistent on making the man eat, always on his case about how it's hardly enough for a man his size.

Arthur can chalk it up to being that you love him, as you have told him foolishly many times. He's sure you're not gonna be happy with him in a minute since again - all you're doing is making dinner.

It's just... something. Something about you today. Dammit, he doesn't understand it neither. You've got a job together, and you and Arthur play convincing husband and wife since you practically are anyway. Arthur's been watching you today closely. You lie pretty. Smile with all your teeth, clever with a careful finesse and an honest knack for debauchery and indecency.

You love calling yourself an awful woman. Joking about dying an unweddable spinster given your crudity.

But Arthur likes it in you. Of you. Likes it so much he's done nothing but readjust his pants watching you squirm your way out of every difficult situation and sling the revolver on your hip like a tried-and-true gunslinger.

You're a fine woman to him. A fine one.

The fire crackles as you place a pot over the little flame of the faux stove. You've made a real dinner somehow - with some vegetables and creeping thyme and carefully butchery of meat. It smells good and you seem proud of it, stirring the thing with the sharp end of your knife. Careful not to scrape the pot.

Arthur watches the light glow orange on your face, carefully observing the way it shines on you. You don't look up at all when you speak.

"Gonna stare a hole into me, Morgan."

He feels something warm crawl up his cheeks. He scratches his beard instinctively, tucking his hat over his eyes.

"'m sorry," He says, unsure of how to cover for himself. "Been thinking about some things."

"Don't hurt yourself," You reply, sardonic and dry. Arthur adores you. He laughs to himself and feels warmed by the pleasant smile that seems to give you.

"I'll try. Ain't much used to thinking,"

"Penny for your thoughts, then Mr. Morgan." You reply, carefully moving the pot around so nothing burns. "Might help you clear your mind if you get some of it off your chest."

He's backed himself into a wall. Goddamn him and his big mouth. He hesitates, taking it off this time. Fidgety.

"Yanno, there ain't a lot women like you. Not that I've met at least."

You give him a look. Your lips pressed into a flat line, unimpressed by him.

"Is that so?"

He laughs to himself. "It is indeed. You're a real piece of work. 'Specially going around batting your lashes, making yourself out to be a housewife."

"Aw what, did you like seeing me all doe eyed?" You smile to yourself, teasing but not entirely insincere. "If it helps, since you're the fake husband, I'm only half-acting."

That makes him grin. Though you say it with confidence, the sincerity it makes you flush.

"It ain't that," Arthur says again, looking at your face for the second time in a few minutes. "Just that you're a fine woman to be around. What do they call it...resourceful. That's what I'm thinking of."

"Who taught you such a big word, Morgan?"

"Trelawny, I'd guess."

You laugh, loud and beautiful and Arthur smiles. You look at him from across the fire. "Well, I'm glad you like my company, Mr. Morgan."

"I do more than like it," He hums, offering a reprieve. He nods at you carefully, head tilted. "Come 'ere,"

Your eyes widen at him, but you don't deny him of what he's asking. For that he is awfully grateful. You're more than capable and much less than needy. There's victory in your deliberate desire for him, Arthur thinks. You want him enough to let him chase you.

You come sit by Arthur. You're a little awkward with him still but he don't mind. It adds to whatever he feels for you, sugar-sweet affection and all. You sit on your knees and Arthur turns his head looking at you.

Beautiful. Beautiful thing you are, really. He has a hard time finding the words to tell you.

He reaches up, hand cupping your face. You lean into the touch, palm resting on calloused hand. He adores you.

"And quit with the Mister Morgan nonsense. Drives me crazy."

"Arthur," You say, slow and deliberate. "You know you're looking at me like you wanna eat me."

'"Read my mind, then."

"Arthur," You repeat, scandalized. He would smile if he wasn't so serious. "We're supposed to be eatin' dinner. You got into a whole spat with them Leymone Riders just today. You need to recover,"

His smile widens.

"Lettin' me go down on ya will heal me just fine,"

You look at him exasperated. Arthur leans into your neck, placing chaste kisses down the line of your jaw. He kisses you just there - underneath your earlobe, knows it drives you crazy.

"Lay down, sugar. Help a poor, injured man heal."

You pull away from him with faux exasperation, fond smiling breaking your face.

"You can be such a dog some times, do you know that?"

"I'm afraid I do,"

You give him another unimpressed look, but you listen anyways. Arthur moves so you can lay down on the bedroll - his bedroll. He takes off his coat just before you lay your head, playing it underneath you to get you more comfortable.

"Dinner's gonna burn," You tell him, almost reflexively. He laughs as he looks at you, your hands folded over your stomach and flat. He laughs at you.

"Burn? You feeling warm?"

"Arthur!"

And he laughs again, catching your boot in his hand as you go to kick his chest lightly. He sets it back down as he stares at you. You're quite the sight. Adoration bubbles up into his throat, blooms out into a hum. The sound of crickets and owls and all sorts of night wanderers sound - but none are distracting enough to pry his gaze away.

"You're looking too much," You say, your voice a half tremble. He nods.

"Got too," Arthur hums, leaning forward into your space. You always smell good to him, some cross between soft earth, and sweet liquor and clothes left in the sun. Skin and salt and sweet. "Who knows how long I'll be around."

He presses his lips to yours gentle and you kiss him - but only once before pulling away. Your eyes suddenly serious, warm palm on his cheek.

"Don't say something so morbid. If you go, I go,"

"Sweetheart—"

"No buts." You affirm, pressing your thumb to his lip all serious. Your eyes meet and for a moment - just one minute, all he wants to do is stop time from moving. From stealing him from you in life at all. Even a few seconds, intolerable. "Don't feel to good to hear, does it? So don't say it."

"Alright, alright," He huffs, laughing against your neck. He kisses it again, right against your pulse - quickening under his teeth as he bites and scrapes. He mulls over how much he wants you, and how little time there is to do everything. "Jus' lemme...I dunno."

Now you're cheeky, smiling up at him. Lord above, you do something so terrible to him. "Now that's just not true, baby."

He laughs deep and raspy. It's not true, because he knows exactly what he's after.

Arthur lets his hands plane over your clothed body. He doesn't bother with the ritual of undressing you entirely - since the act doesn't deserve the intimacy. You do, maybe - but Arthur's head feels too foggy to do anything civilized. He has to settle for letting his hands grip the fabric of your skirt and push it until it bunches around your waist.

There's no real delicacy in it, save for the way your breath hitches as Arthur gives himself better access. He moves to lay on his stomach between your thighs. He wishes it were brighter to give him better view. He's seen it plenty but looking at your pretty pussy alone gets him harder than steel.

His hands go underneath every layer of fabric to undo the little tie of your undergarments. You squirm when Arthur takes them off, but you don't pull away.

It's pretty. Even with the dim light of just the moon and fire to let Arthur see it. What entices him mostly though is the scent, after a long day of riding out alone - there's something about the way you smell - sweat and all that makes the back of his mouth ache with want. Makes his teeth hurt just dreaming about it.

He doesn't let his animalistic urges take him yet. He knows you need the build up. His hand is soft as he grips onto your waist. He pulls your legs further apart and lets his lips brush the inside of your thigh. Starts at your knee and works his way up, his mouth burning hot - open kisses. You giggle at the sensation of his beard, but it's tamped down with lust Arthur knows like the back of his hand.

Slow, deliberate, sinful. He knows the way you liked to be touched so exactly, but the pace is set more by his desperation. It grows ten sizes listening to you sigh and huff, feeling your hands come down to touch his hair and play with it.

"Arthur," Your voice calls. Pleading. Wanting him. You're so good at making Arthur loose his composure with so little. It's hard to tease you as your voice clips off into a whine. "Arthur,"

"I've got you," He says, assured. He means it as much as he means anything he's ever said. He ain't a decent man, but this much he can say full ways. "I've got you, sugar. Ease up. Let me take care of you,"

And so you again, breathless - boneless and eager. You let Arthur into your space, and something about that. Something about you. His heart races, blood pumping through his body. It pulses in his ears, head swimming with nothing but praise for you.

You're a fine woman. You're a good girl. The best he knows.

Arthur can feel the way your clit pulses with want before he ever puts his mouth on you. Makes him chuckle, gloved hand resting on your navel. He uses his thumb to pull it back, before using both hands to spread you open. Then, in an act less then gentlemanly, spits on it hard. He watches it land, lewd as it drips between your fold. He laughs to himself.

Another pitchy call of his name and Arthur decides he's had enough fun to get him through the evening.

He kisses your clit first, thinks it's only gentlemanly. When your hips buck up trying to chase the feeling of his mouth - he laughs. His hands dig into your hips. You're soft, skin dimpling from just how tight he holds onto you.

When he finally gets what he wants, his own body lurches forward from want. He nearly slumps into the ground - half-way between relieved and utterly addicted. It's a sense of euphoria unmatched by the finest liquor or cigars money can be.

The taste of you fills his mouth as Arthur eats.

Arthur is not used to playing predator. Not interested in the act of devouring. You often compare him to some sort of herbivore. But there's something too hungry, too visceral, too primal for him to be anything but a coyote. A teethed thing, all screwed up from hunger.

He lets his tongue slip against the seam of your cunt, all the arousal collecting in his mouth. His senses flood with something heady, sweet but bitter and he groans shamelessly as a result. Spoiled by the taste and utterly debauched.

"Oh, god - Arthur, you're—"

Arthur is pleased by the way your words are cut off by your own moan. He slides his tongue back up, wet muscle firm as it lays flat against your clit. There's a slight twitch like it's asking for more attention.

Arthur is all to eager vtoo provide, closing his lips around the twitching bundle of nerves. He knows what you like. Learned over time just the amount of pressure he needs to suck with and the speed he needs to draw his tongue over your clit to get you right at the very edge of your orgasm.

He teases you to that pace. Slow increases in either or, until it's just at that perfect medium. Once he hits that spot, you always moan so pretty.

You shudder, your body lurching up as your hands get tighter in his hair. "Aah, fuck. Ngh, Arthur. Don't do this t'me."

You begging him not too makes him want to do it more. If Arthur were any less aroused, he would. But his brain can barely think up enough to stamina to do that. His own cock is strained against his work pants - hips instinctively rutting into the bedroll just beneath him. Silently seeking friction all while hoping he doesn't get enough to distract him.

It'd be a damn shame, he thinks - letting anything pull him from the taste of your pussy. From the smell of it, from the sight of it, from the feeling of you. Sticky, pulsing strings of arousal coating his tongue and turning all his thoughts to dust.

His cock throbs again as you rut against his mouth. Arthur pins you in place.

"Please," You say. A magic word he ain't much stronger than. "Please make me cum,"

You really are a good girl, the way you know exactly what makes him tick. Arthur moans into your cunt as he sucks and licks and eats. He'd die over it, and he does not mean it lightly. It's the only thing in the world he wants to do in the moment. He laser focuses on finding that sweet spot again.

And he knows he does when you start whimpering. Squirming and holding onto his soft brown locks and pleading for something you don't know about. He can feel how wet your getting - dripping along down his beard and face. Thick strings of your arousal stick and slide down his neck.

He's never been a messy eater, but you've been disproving many of his prior understandings of himself. He supposes it's only natural.

"Oh, baby," You say, not even his name. Arthur knows it's a warning that you're gonna cum. All he can do is encourage you. He hums into your soft, wet cunt and you groan again. "Fuck, Arthur. I'm gonna cum."

Arthur knows better. He doesn't do a thing but keep going. Lets you move and thrash and pull away but keeps you firm in his place and eats your pussy until you can barely think.

He knows the knot is untying before you do because of how much you squirm. When you cum, you cum hard. Your back arches up into a picture perfect curve, toes curling and hands tugging at his roots for purchase.

He can feel every pulse of desire as you finally do let go. You cry out, loud enough to startle any nearby critters. Your fingers grip tight at the base of his hair as the orgasm washes over you. It's just as magnetic as it was the first time.

He's sure that will always be true.

When Arthur pulls away from your pulsing, wet core - he can feel just how much of his lower face is sticky. He's sure you also know, if the way you laugh is anything to go by.

And he's not long to follow after. Not even a few seconds and he can feel something in pants tighten - a mess of white staining the front of the denim in an onset of lust damn near shameful. Is he a teenager again? Lord above.

Breathlessly, you look down at him after you've ridden your high out.

Pulling up Arthur by the collar, you look at him slowly and frown. You look impassioned and a little frustrated.

You kiss him tender after you've come too. Once, then twice, then a another time with your hand still drawn into a fist. Arthur grabs it closed, opening your palms before kissing the palm of your hands until you're no longer mad.

"Hate how good you are at that," You admit, a little drunk of the euphoria of all of it. "Make me feel so crazy."

Arthur beams at you unapologetic.

"It's good to be that with me, sweetheart." Arthur says, kissing the corner of your mouth. "Now how about you go and give me one more?"

You laugh breathlessly but don't go to stop him at all.

"Insatiable man."

"Only for you, my girl."

.𖥔 ݁ ˖˚☽˚｡⋆

[goopcatz]

Living with Shige (Teru special!!!)

Teru has a complicated relationship with his mom, as one does, confusing feelings, he wants to be protected but he doesn't want to leave with her, he wants someone to take care of him but he doesn't remember what its like to be taken care by other people

He is trying his best to not let Mrs Kageyama know anything, he is saying as much information as to explain but as little as to not say anything that would get him in trouble

Things that didn't make the cut: Teru has a step dad, he has no idea abt his dad's whereabouts

Fics that inspired this one!!!

Shots by Phia: this one made me CRY its so well written and it has permanently changed how i see teruki hanazawa, the way I cried in the middle of the night when I had work the next day is not something im proud of, but also not something im ashamed about

A Pair of Parents (or lackthereof) by @toastytoaster22 (BECAUSE WHEN DO I NOT sorry toasty i keep tagging you on things): WHEN I TELL YOU omg holy sheet this and many of toasty's works are the reasons why i am obsessed with Mrs Kageyama, she is an intriguing character for me and the way Toasty gives her depht makes me just *throws myself to the floor* oh lord

MOM by @tsukish11ma : I dont have enough words to describe the appreciation and respect I have for this series, do you ever see someone you know in a fanfiction the way i see people i know in the way Teru's mom is depicted on the MOM series, for better or for worse, this fic made me empathize with a lot of people in my life and sometimes i lay awake at night thinking abt how Mother will end lmao

If you like my work with Living with Shige I HIGHLY encourage reading through all these wonderfully written works, show them all your love!!!

Sorry for tagging everyone aaaa

[onskepa]

Left Behind: Moments

Here is another chapter of the left behind series! Hope you all enjoy!

Left behind series

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Jake’s pov 

“So ummm…..I was told to vlog my day to day stuff. Guess to keep record of things I do and not lose my shit on this planet” Jake tells himself on camera. It has been a few hours since he woke up from his cryo sleep. His body ached, felt like a statue from not moving for 5 years. 

“This is year is 2154….those fuckers lied. It's been 7 years since I left Earth for this jungle gym crap. 7 years felt like nothing. My baby girl, probably in her preteen years right now. I wonder how she is doing. I wouldn't blame her if she hates me, no scratch that. She is incapable of hate. Maybe mad, yeah. But not hate. I want this mission to be done and over with.” 

Jake’s pov

“First day in my avatar…gotta say, it felt fucking amazing. I was able to breathe the native air! Best part, I can run! WOOHOOO! YES! Oh man, never in my life have I felt this amazing. Though I did get carried away. When I woke up in my new body, the excitement got to me. I ran almost all over the fields, the basketball court, the botanical gardens, it felt great. Almost got in trouble but grace was there to save my ass” 

“Still have to adjust to this body, grace is giving me a week to get used to it. I am not the only one though, there is a weird guy named Normal Spellman. Nerdy but otherwise cool. He is the one who studies alongside with tommy. Good pals I can only imagine. He just got his avatar too”

“I bet if my baby girl was here, she would be surprised. With everything really. Maybe a bit scared. Would enjoy it no doubt. Learn how this planet works. I cant help it. I wonder what she is doing. Is she making friends? Doing good in school? So many things. But I know the sooner I get this mission done, the sooner I get home to her” 

“Gotta rest now, got a big day tomorrow, this is Jake Sully, singing out” 

Jake’s pov 

“Colonel Quaritch, tough and kinda scary guy but he keeps people safe here. As safe as it can get on this planet. Met him in the brief meeting as a welcome home type of talk. But, weirdly enough, I admire him. He seems to know what he is doing and how to do it. Said he has a special mission for me, didn't say what yet but to expect a visit from him soon” 

“I can worry about that later. Tomorrow starts a new mission. Get samples from more remote areas of the forest. Norm was given a special task. Try to make a peaceful contact with the aliens here. Na’vi is what they are called. Grace gave me a brief on them. Some important figures too. Guess they have a system of rulers here. Like the old native tribes back on Earth. My missions is to guard and make sure grace and norm get what they need” 

“I will be honest, does not seem too bad. Was given the ok to shoot any possible threats. Practice with the guns, proud to say I have not lost my aim. It is getting late but I still have to do this. Does keep my mind busy, recalling the day’s events. I am starting to get into a routine” 

“After shutting off the camera, I look at the picture of me and my daughter. I would stare at it for a while until my eyes drop. See this? It was the day I won a little toy for her at an arcade. She was so happy. Not often was I able to give her something new. Hopefully the paychecks are getting funded for her needs. I bet she is getting nice, brand new things” 

“So many birthdays I missed. Im so sorry baby girl, but I promise, the second I go back, I will give you the biggest hug ever. Buy you all the gifts you could ever want, hell, if the pay is that good, get a better place. Maybe close to your favorite park that you like to play in. Better yet, go to the zoo like you always wanted. I know you will be much older but I dont care. You are my baby girl for life. Nothing is going to change that” 

“Guess now I better log off. Big day tomorrow, this is Jake Sully, signing off”

Jake’s pov 

“Things didn't go right during the mission and I was split up from grace and norm. A giant weird animal, thana-something called by grace, deadly, found us. Had his eyes on me, grace told me to run so I went the opposite direction of where those to were, to not get them in the crossfire. Seriously, that animal was huge, but I guess by some miracle, a bigger animal came into view. Like in those old nature documentaries, the two giants began to fight. Either way, I made a run for cause I know it was not going to end pretty” 

“I got lost along the way, had no idea where I was or how far I was from the crew. Took me sweet time though. Admiring the pretty sights that Pandora had to offer. Felt like a kid again. Everything was bright, colorful, alive. I can see why the RDA wants to use the resources here. Crazy to think that Earth was one like this. Green, healthy, breathing” 

“Of course somewhere along the way I lost myself even more, lost my gun. Had to make a spear then turn it into  a torch because night came. Now night time felt like a whole different world. Everything glowed, pretty almost neon colors illuminated the plats. Some small creatures also glowed. Sad that I couldn't appreciate it enough. Got attacked” 

“Freaking hyena looking animals, running in a pack. The fire helped create a distance as I ran but they were too many, though I was done for. My ass got saved by an unlikely person” 

Jake’s pov 

“Neytiri, princess of the Omatikaya clan. Scary lady but she saved me. Called me a baby, and told me that I have a strong heart. Stuff happened and next thing you know, I am in their home base. Word passed and neytiri was tasked to train me. Teach me their ways. I am where the RDA needs me to be. It is now only a matter of time. Give the Colonel what he wants, give grace what she wants. It is a win-win situation” 

“Still holding out on that little meeting Quaritch wants to have with me. Maybe it won't be that far, since now I am within the premise of the indigenous, I guess I need to collect more info” 

“A lot happened so to say. I gotta rest soon. If allowed, I can bring something from here, take it with me when I get back home. Pictures seem the best answer. Or something na’vi related. My little girl knows so little of what is being told about pandora. Or knew I should say. How old is she now….? Probably a preteen. Guess I dodged a bullet. I know pre-teen years are hell. No, I shouldn't say that” 

“Soon baby girl. The wait will be worth it. Like I promised. Training day begins tomorrow, so, with that, this is jake sully, signing out” 

Jake’s pov 

“I am part of the people. I am the son of the people and child of Eywa. Passing my iknimaya, taming my ikran, everything. I am na’vi. It feels unreal, hard to accept. Tsu’tey and I are brothers, wasn't that long ago he wanted to kill me, calling me ugly, but now we are at the same level” 

“They celebrated my rebirth. It was fantastic, neytiri made me dance even though I was terrible at it. The whole thing felt magical. Truly, I felt like I really belonged somewhere, being accepted. It felt nice. Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, it did get better” 

“Surprise surprise, I am now mated to neytiri. She took me to the tree of voices, telling me of how sacred and precious it is, being able to connect to their ancestors. It was beautiful. Neytiri was beautiful, still is. Taking my breath away, and my availability” 

“I wouldn't change it for anything, she is someone I have come to love with all my heart. As cheesy as it sounds, it's true. Neytiri changed me, made me better, and I have no regrets”

Jake’s pov 

“They are starting to pressure us, more like me. The RDA really want the omatikaya gone, away from their home tree. Just because it houses the materials they want. It is not easy, none of it is easy. To tell them to leave, when it's been their home for thousands of years. According to Grace, I don't doubt her. This is their home, it is us who are the aliens” 

“They are not going to leave, nothing is going to change their minds. Worst yet, I know quaritch will do drastic things to get what he wants. I was an idiot to follow him, to believe him. What he will do, knowing his tactics, he will shed blood and bullets. I need to warn neytiri, mo’at, tsu’tey. Can't believe this is coming out of my mouth, but I pray to Eywa, that she guides me. What can I do to make sure things don't go downhill” 

“I came to make good money, to finish the mission given to me and be done with. Now, I am in a moral dilemma. I am stuck” 

Jake’s pov

“I am sorry. No amount of sorry’s that I say will ever be enough for anyone. Not to neytiri, not to eytukan, not to mo’at, tsu’tey grace, norm, anyone. It will never be enough. I brought this to them, it is only right that I help. War is coming, and soon. So many na’vi died when they destroyed their home tree. Many wounded, kids, infants, innocent lives” 

“Grace and I did our best to warn them, tell them to leave. Tsu’tey was adamant to fight, their weapons useless against the valkyries. In an instant, all was gone. I wanted to apologize to neytiri, she was furious, telling me I am not one of those people. She is right. Before anything more could be done, those damn bastards forced me to pull out. Pushed me in a tight closure” 

“Quaritch, a beast he is, heartless. Keeping me locked up yet outside of my cage he dangles the picture of my little girl. Telling me it's not too late to take his side if I ever want to go back to earth and see her again. Going on about how she will react to all of this. Her father rebelling against humanity. As much as I hate to admit…”

“He is right….I dont know if I will see her again. I hate to say….sacrifices have got to be made. I'm sorry, but I have to atone my sins. Like I said, no amount of sorry’s will be enough. Not even for my little girl, I am sorry baby girl, but daddy is not coming home”

Jake’s pov 

“We won. Quaritch is dead, and unfortunately, so is Grace and tsu’tey. Both sides lost many lives. Yet that is war, but we won. Humans are no more, many left, only few remained. Sworn their loyalty to the na’vi. Only they can stay. We made many sacrifices, I made many.  Many I dont regret, or will look back to. This is the beginning of a new chapter for me. There is nothing left to hold me back, not my past, not my memories.  I am at peace with what I did” 

“Neytiri is with a child, I am excited, I am going to be a father. I cant wait when they arrive, I will be there, welcoming my son or daughter into a new world of peace. First born, neytiri likes to say it over and over.  She is not wrong, our first child together in a new era of peace” 

“However there is still one thing left to do. A grand celebration is going to be held” 

“This I look forward to, many are coming together for it. It is my birthday after all, can't miss my own party. So, one last time. This is Jake Sully, the human, signing out. For good” 

Third pov

A young girl looks at the last vlog of her father, Jake Sully, eyes wide as she takes in what she just saw. This was a side she never knew, nor did she think it would be hidden.  

She clenches her hands into a fist tightly, gritting her teeth, her body shaking in fury. Hot tears streaming down her face, not knowing whether to cry in sadness or scream in anger. So many emotions mixed, creating a tornado in her mind. 

Hearing a door open behind her, she turns to glare at the man. 

“Why….” was all she could say before breaking down.

Aaaaaaaaaaand that is it for this chapter of the ongoing series! This one I chose to have only jake be the main point, his vlogs. See how his mind changes, perspective and what lead to the final choice. Trust me, this will come back for future chapters. So until next time! See ya!

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Taglist: @boobitchhehe @heart-an0n @justcaptiannoodles @mochacoffeeumai26 @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @skittlebum @teyamsbitch @ratchetprime211 @iwannabeapinkaesthetic @kkkmm @luchicm04 @sseleniaa @quirkyhero @ssc7514 @mimi-626 @queenwrath216 @henhouse-horrors @vogueweb @syndyj @lovecatsreal @kpoplover-2013 @mimisweetz @keysmashsstuff @ghouliazinterlude @avatarloverfrfr @venomsvl @tatahungry

[hwaslayer]

project: make you love me (jyh) | nineteen. (final)

♣︎ spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: yunho can’t stand how you’re so wrapped up in the notorious campus fuckboy, park seonghwa. he would gladly love you the way you deserve, despite being shy, awkward and the complete opposite of seonghwa. thus, when he finds himself spending more time with you over literature reviews and random study sessions, he decides to take on the challenge to win you over.

—pairing: jeong yunho x f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers/friends to lovers, college au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 5.5k

—chapter content/warnings:  cussing/mature language, some alcohol consumption, seonghwa (lmao im jk just had to do it one time for the one time - hes not really a warning but he does pop in for a second), oral (f. receiving), fingering, unprotected sex, praising, lots and lots of kisses 

—on rotation: universe - thuy ・complicated - nivea

—a/n: & we've come to the end 😭 sobbing!! tysm for all your love on this one, i truly appreciate every single one of you that cried, loved and supported this couple from day one!! <33 it truly meant a lot to me. i hope to see you alongside of me on the next journey hehe 💕 find my upcoming works here & lmk if you wanna be on the taglists! if you need something more sad & angsty, here is home. ILYYYY!!

"Baby! Yeo!" You squeal when you see Yunho lined up with Yeosang amongst the crowd of graduates waiting to pile their way in to the field where the ceremony would be taking place. He waves, tall and proud in his cap and gown, blushing from ear to ear when you rush over for a quick hug.

"Pretty girl." He mumbles against your head before kissing you on the temple. "Go get your seat before it fills up." His hands are on your waist as he looks down at you, brushing the hair away from your face.

"I know, but I just had to see you really quickly." You point to your friends behind you, all holding up cardboard cut outs of Yunho and Yeosang's faces. "Look! We came prepared!" They laugh.

"I'm glad you picked a nice photo of me at least." 

"Oh, we have both cute and funny faces, don't worry." Yeosang rolls his eyes before giving off another chuckle. You slip a water bottle filled halfway with tequila in Yunho's hand, making Yeosang give off a loud laugh when he realizes what you're giving them.

"Babe." Yunho says almost in a scolding manner that makes you giggle.

"You've got a whole 3-4 hours or so of a graduation ceremony, love! What else are you gonna do?!"

"She's right, what are we gonna do?"

"Oh my— go, babe. We're gonna head in soon." You laugh and give him a quick peck on the lips before squeezing his hand.

"Okay, okay. I love you. Enjoy!"

"I love you, too." You wave once more before running off to your friends and heading out onto the lawn. It's a beautiful day out, and the sun is already shining even though it's still early in the morning. You, your friends, your mom and sister, and Yunho's mom and aunt eventually find ways to each other and take place in some seats right by the stage and underneath the shade.

As expected, the ceremony kicks off and it's a long one. The President of the school speaks before other distinguished professors and a special guest speaker take over the mic. Yunho and Yeosang surprisingly do take a few swigs from the water bottle mid-speech, catching other graduates doing the same to keep themselves alive and on the same high they started with this morning. Once they start handing out diplomas to the graduates by school/department, it tacks on another hour or so before they're finally reaching the Computer Science department.

"Oh shit, finally!" Soobin says, fixing his position in his seat and getting his phone ready.

"Are they even going in alphabetical order?" Seungmin stands, stepping aside to make sure he isn't blocking the view.

"Nope. They're going by row, I think." Chaery stands before pointing and grabbing you by the arm. "Wait, wait! Yunho and Yeo are standing now!" You stand and let your family and his family know that it might be time to head closer towards the stage. The entire group makes their way towards the side of the stage that is blocked off solely for family and loved ones to snap photos of their graduates. You sneak your way past a few people, bringing everyone closer in an area where Yunho and Yeosang could see the group clearly as they walk across the stage and off.

The first to walk across the stage is Yeosang; his family roars next to you while you all hold up his boards. You snap a few photos of him just as he walks off and quickly flashes his diploma before waving one last goodbye to get to his seat. At this point, Yunho takes a step onto the stage, waiting for his name to be called. You feel the tears welling in your eyes when you find that Yunho isn't looking at anyone but you. 

"I love you." He mouths out and subtly taps his chest just as they call his name.

"I love you, too." You mouth back before snapping his photos— catching that sparkle in his eye, that beautiful smile on his face. That's your man and you love him so, so much.

"Jeong Yunho!" Chaery yells as you all put up the blown up boards of his face. You all cheer and scream for him as he finally crosses the stage and grabs his diploma, doing a little celebratory dance as he steps down and passes everyone for final photos. Yunho quickly grabs your hand and presses a light kiss to the surface before running off to his seat. "I swear to God, you two are the sweetest." Chaery pokes out her bottom lip before throwing her arm around your shoulder. "That man loves you and adores you to bits, Y/N."

"And I do, too." She squeezes you as you all make your way back to your seats to endure the rest of the graduates getting their diplomas.

"Do you guys have any plans for Yunho and Yeosang tonight?" Your mom leans over to ask and you shake your head.

"No, they didn't wanna do anything besides the lunch thingy we're all going to."

"Oh, really? Not even a party?" You shake your head.

"Nope. I promise you, we tried." Your mom chuckles and nods.

As the rest of the ceremony finally comes to an end, caps are being tossed in the air from all directions while the graduates celebrate in unison one last time. You hurriedly run to the nearest bathroom because your body decides this would be the best time to do so. Luckily, there isn't much of a line or anything so you're able to slip in and out after relieving yourself. But once you head back to the lawn, you find yourself completely lost in a sea full of graduates, their families and loved ones. When you tippy-toe to try and find Yunho, you surprisingly can't find a glimpse of him and it makes you a bit anxious.

"Oops, sorry—"

"Sorry—" You look up. "Seonghwa." You bump into him as you continue to try and navigate your way through the crowd to find Yunho and Yeosang, with Seonghwa also trying to find his family in the sea of people.

"Oh, hey." He looks down at you.

"Congratulations."

"Thank you." He says with a small smile.

"I really do wish you the best." He looks at you before looking down at his feet and nodding.

"I appreciate that, Y/N. I hope senior year treats you well." You give him a toothless smile before you finally spot Yunho over his shoulder. Seonghwa watches as your smile grows, hearing the small squeals leave your lips when you finally spot Yunho with your friends and family.

"Thanks. Good luck!" You bid Seonghwa farewell once and for all before running over to your boyfriend. Of course, Seonghwa keeps his eyes trained on you two for a bit while you swing your arms around Yunho's neck and kiss him so sweetly, so lovingly. Yunho looks down at you like the entire world is handed to him on a gold platter, like you hold the galaxies in your eyes, like every inch of you has been crafted by the stars. 

You are everything to him, and it's clear even for someone like Seonghwa— who isn't sure how to give love, yet is very open to receiving it.  He could've had that, if he wasn't so dumb. You really did believe in him at one point, but he didn't do anything with it. He didn't choose you.

But truthfully, in the end, he's happy you're happy. Even though it took him awhile to fully understand that. He knew he couldn't fully give you what you wanted, and he knows Yunho is way better than he'll ever be. You deserve that, and Seonghwa knows he should've tried harder when he had you. Not after.

Life's a bunch of learning lessons, and he truly gets that now.

"Congrats, baby!" You giggle when Yunho presses repeated kisses against your face, holding you against him.

"Hey! Turn to the camera!" Your mom yells from behind you. "Let me snap some photos of you and the handsome graduate! Hurry! Food's waiting!" Your mom playfully scolds you before snapping a bunch of photos. Everyone is taking their time snapping photos of you and Yunho, you and your friends with Yunho and Yeosang, and it takes a good bit before everyone is satisfied enough to leave. 

Yeosang's family joins everyone for a celebratory meal at the bbq restaurant in the city. It's a late celebratory lunch being that it's a bit past noon, but everyone is happy and still in good spirits despite the long ceremony and warmer weather. It's nice to see everyone you love under one roof, with Yunho and Yeosang rightfully being celebrated for all their hardwork. While your mom and sister sit alongside of Yunho's mom and aunt, your dad calls mid-dinner to congratulate Yunho over Facetime and apologizes for missing the ceremony due to a business trip. Yunho eventually ends up agreeing to a random fishing date with your dad in the coming weeks, making you laugh how cutely [and quickly] he agreed.

"Babe." You look up at him sweetly as everyone exits the restaurant, your hand loosely intertwined with his.

"When you say my name like that, you're always up to no good." You playfully smack him with a gasp.

"Oh my god, not even!" You giggle. "I just wanted to know if you're happy."

"Of course I am."

"Do you wanna do anything else to celebrate?"

"Nah." He shakes his head and boops your nose. "Just wanna spend time with you. Besides, I told you I'd take you somewhere this summer, remember? That'll be a way to celebrate."

"I feel like I wanna do more for you."

"You do a lot for me already. I promise." He squeezes your hand.

"I'm gonna be honest, and it's probably gonna sound lame, but a nap sounds really nice right now." Yeosang says. "We got up way too early for graduation." You laugh.

"Why don't we nap and head to the beach tonight for a chill bonfire?" Soobin suggests with a shrug. "So we can celebrate but also not do too much?"

"That actually sounds amazing." Chaery looks at with a surprised expression. "Way to go, Choi!" She punches him on the arm, earning a small groan in response.

"Yeah, I'm down for that."

"I'll drive us and see if the others wanna come along?" Yeosang and Yunho nod.

"Yay!" You clap before bidding farewell to your mom, sister, Yunho's mom and his aunt. 

As expected, everyone heads their separate ways and gets ready to relax for the early afternoon. Chaery and Seungmin head off to the grocery store to grab a few drinks and snacks for tonight, and some ice for the cooler. After taking a quick shower, you head back to Yunho's— already finding Yeosang's door shut close, while Yunho is also in bed with an arm lazily draped over his face. As you quietly shut the door behind you and walk towards his bed, you hear Yunho's small snores a little clearer. You giggle to yourself as you carefully climb over and take your place on the empty side of the bed, but Yunho is quick to shift in his own position and throw an arm around you as soon as he feels the bed dip. His hand gently squeezes at your side just as he presses up against your back, letting out a soft sigh against the back of your head.

"Sorry baby." He sleepily says. "Tried waiting but I got sleepy."

"That's okay, Yuyu. Go back to sleep." He presses a light kiss to your head before snuggling closer to you. Within a few minutes, you feel your lids getting heavier, breathing more regulated. It's not long before you fall into a deep sleep with Yunho cuddled behind you; also meeting you in your dreams.

Eventually, your slumber comes to an end when you feel Yunho pressing light kisses to your jaw, cheek, neck and head. You giggle as your eyes flutter open, giving your body a tiny, but good stretch in Yunho's arms.

"Awake already?"

"Mm, we slept for like 3 hours." He laughs. "We should eat before we head to the beach."

"What do you wanna eat? I'm too content here." You chuckle.

"I could name a few things." Yunho smirks before gently nibbling on your earlobe and giving your thigh a squeeze.

"You go to sleep for 3 hours and wake up like this?!" You snort.

"Baby." He whines, so you turn to look at him. 

"And here I thought you really wanted to eat."

"I do! I'm just in the mood for a variety of things." 

"Oh?" You let out a loud squeal when Yunho comes for your neck and starts attacking you with more kisses.

"Oy! I can hear you two from out here!" Chaery says from outside the door, causing the both of you to pause and look towards the door.

"When did she get here?" You ask. Yunho snorts as he continues to play around, hand teasing at the edge of your panties. "Yunho!"

"What?" He nips at your neck.

"You lovebirds awake or what? We brought some food over." Seungmin asks right by the door. You can hear both him and Chaery mumbling from behind— something along the lines of:

Should we just knock?

Should we go in?

You think they're still sleeping after hearing her earlier?

What if they're indecent and in compromised positions?

Dude, just tell them the food is outside, they'll come when they're ready.

You laugh to yourself amidst Yunho's kisses, internally shaking your head at your roommates for almost acting on their thoughts. You return your attention back to your boyfriend, who is looking at you adoringly even as his fingers continue to trace the material of your panties.

"Food is outside when you two are done!" Seungmin says, followed by an 'ow' afterwards.

"Yunho, what are you up to?"

"I'll be quick." He laughs. "Just wanna please you."

"Everyone is outside!"

"You can be quiet though, right?" He lowers himself under the blankets, taking his position in between your thighs. You bite onto your bottom lip, feeling Yunho tug your panties down before slipping in two digits. You let out a quiet, breathy moan, twitching when you suddenly feel him latch onto your clit— tongue working magic around your core. 

"Oh shit—" Your moan gets louder and Yunho gives your thigh a squeeze to warn you. You feel the pleasure quickly building in your gut, slowly working your hips against his mouth; hands gripping his hair with good pressure. You feel him pick up the pace, pumping into you faster before he focuses on your clit alone, letting you grind your hips against him. He groans against you, pressing his hips deeper into the mattress to feel some kind of friction, to relieve himself in any way possible.  "Yunho, fuck—" Sooner or later, your orgasm washes over you and completely takes over your senses. You tremble against him, back arching off of the mattress as the aftershocks trickle through you. "Jesus, babe."

"Mhm, but you feel good, don't you?" He pokes out of the covers, laughing with rose-tinted cheeks.

"What about you?"

"I'm good." He leans in to kiss you. "That's all I needed."

"You're crazy."

"I love you, too." He kisses you again. "Ready to actually eat?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" You laugh, letting Yunho get up and fix himself first. You throw on some sweats, also following suit to make sure you look decent enough for your friends. 

"Wow, finally." Chaery says when she sees Yunho ski-daddle to the bathroom with a quick wave, you plopping yourself down onto the living room floor next to her. "You good?" She teases, nudging you in the arm.

"Mm, thanks for bring the food."

"Course."

"Who else is tagging along?"

"Hyunjin. Yeonjun. Jongho. Minnie. Someone else, I forgot though." Soobin says. "They're riding with Jongho."

"I'm surprised they're still around. Usually, they're all quick to dip as soon as finals are over." Chaery adds. "Eat up, replenish your stamina." She hands Yunho a plate when he plops onto the floor next to you.

"Thank you." He flashes her a bright, playful smile. "Did you guys get everything for tonight?"

"Mhm!" 

"You should've told us. We could've chipped in." Yeosang nods in agreement.

"Um, this is for you guys. Why on earth would I do that?" She laughs. "No, absolutely not. I just want you guys to have fun and enjoy tonight."

"Thank you." Yeosang repeats with a small smile. Everyone finishes up eating in the living room before Yeosang and Soobin are hauling the cooler into his car for tonight's festivities. As soon as the sun sets, the group piles into the car, squeezing into the back to fit [as safely as possible]. The beach Soobin picks isn't the usual, popular beach that everyone tends to go to. He decides it's best to go to the smaller one that's tucked off to the side so it isn't bombarded with people on a beautiful night like tonight. It takes a quick 10-min drive down the highway, along with tackling a curvy, winding road before Soobin is driving down a small, quiet residential area and pulling up at a dead-end. 

"Jongho and them are here already." He says, pulling up behind their car along the side of the street near the dead-end sign. Everyone hops out and grabs what they can to haul it over to the beach, having to walk down the path in order to reach the sand. Jongho and the rest of the group already have a huge fire going, chairs situated around the fire with a few snacks and the bluetooth speakers softly playing music laying around.

"Finally!" Jongho says with his arms wide open. "Congrats Yunho and Yeo!"

"Thanks, my guy!" Yunho responds with a laugh, greeting your friends with a hug and thanking them for hanging out to celebrate. Everyone gets started with rounds of shots before dancing around in the sand and splashing in the water. Yunho's happily singing along to the songs even as you two walk into the water and try to playfully splash each other. At once, he carries you and attempts to throw you into the water, laughing away as you chase him and scold him for even trying.

When you finally settle back onto the chair and start roasting some marshmallows for smores, Yunho plops onto the chair next to you— gently nudging you on the arm before kissing you on the cheek.

"Making some smores?" You giggle and nod.

"Want one?"

"Sure." You throw a marshmallow onto another stick, keeping it near the fire. While waiting for it to be perfectly roasted, you look up and admire the stars strung across the velvety sky.

The moon.

"Yunho."

"Yeah?"

"It's a full moon." He looks at you with a small smile before kissing you on the temple, helping you arrange his smores on a plate.

"It is, and I want you to remember this one and the next ones to come."

"Why?"

"Just cause." He gives you a small smile, happy to have made the moon something you two could share, something that will always serve as a reminder of the love you two hold for each other. "It's our thing, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is our thing." You giggle, resting your head on his shoulders while you continue to watch your friends fool around on the sand and enjoy themselves under the clear, night sky. "I'm proud of you, you know that right? Incredibly proud of you."

"I know."

"I'll be the support you every step of the way."

"Thank you, love. And I'll be here, too. I'm here."

♣︎ SUMMER

You splashed in the clearest, bluest waters you've ever seen, Yunho coming behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist. You give off a tiny scream when he surprises you from behind, lifting you and dropping you back into the water.

"Jeong Yunho!" You laugh mid-scold, wiping the water from your face.

"I like it when you say my name." He smirks, followed by a deep laugh. "Sorry, baby. I had to."

"You're lucky I like you." He smiles, hands resting on your waist to pull you close.

"That's a shame, I thought you loved me, too." He teases while you wrap your arms around his neck.

"You're lucky I love you."

"Ah, that's better." He licks his lips, water droplets slowly falling down his face from his wet hair. "Mind if I kiss you, pretty girl?"

"Not at all." You bite onto your bottom lip before Yunho leans forward for a kiss, holding it for as long as he possibly can before he's pulling back. He presses one, two, three repeated kisses before giving your hips a squeeze.

"Wanna head back to the room?"

"Yeah, actually. I'm kinda pooped from splashing in the water all day."

"Same." He laces his fingers with yours as you both walk out of the water and back towards the resort. 

"What do you want for dinner tonight?"

"Um, I don't know. Let me figure that out. You just relax." He gives you a small smile. The sand feels warm but soft beneath your feet, and the sun is still shining even though it's getting ready to set soon. Thankfully, it isn't nearly as bright and hot as it was earlier in the day anymore. You grab your things from the beach chair, washing off your feet under the water spout before slipping back into your slippers and following the trail back into the resort. 

When you step back into the room, Yunho is quick to start a hot shower for you, claiming he'll take care of dinner. So, you hop in and take your time underneath the hot water; letting it ease the slight soreness that came from swimming and playing in the water most of the day. Yunho makes a quick trip down the street to pick up some food, laying everything out on the balcony table so that you two could enjoy it during a peaceful night.

"Aw, babe! When did you go out and grab this?" You say as you walk out to the balcony in your cute grey shorts and matching hoodie. 

"When you were swimming in the shower." You laugh and playfully punch him on the bicep.

"I did not take that long. But, thank you." You tippytoe to give him a peck.

"Let me take a quick shower. I'll be out soon." He tips your chin upwards before smiling down at you.

"Okay." You settle onto the balcony chair and scroll through your phone, texting your friends while you patiently wait for Yunho to shower and get comfy for dinner. You look out at the view, admiring the way the moonlight shines down onto the surface of the water, illuminating everything near its path. It's quiet with the occasional sound of waves crashing against the sand, the occasional chatter of other families passing by to get to their rooms. It's peaceful, but it feels extra special being away from home with Yunho.

When it hits close to 20 minutes, Yunho's finally joining you in the balcony, running a hand through his damp hair as he sits in the chair next to you. The both of you begin to dig in and talk about your day, planning what else you should do tomorrow and the following day before you're having to leave and head back home. Of course, in typical Yunho fashion, he jokes around and plays around mid-meal, just wanting to hear you laugh and giggle next to him. When you both feel satisfied, he sits back and takes his turn to admire the view, his hand laced with yours as he presses kisses onto the surface.

"Baby." He says softly, his thumb caressing the surface of your hand.

"Hm?"

"Do you see the full moon?" He points upwards.

"I do." You smile at him, remembering the days when you used to walk with Yunho and look at the moon.

"Can you do me a favor then?"

"Of course."

"Keep your eyes on it for me, please?"

"What're you up to, Jeong Yunho?" You giggle, doing as asked by keeping your gaze on the full moon ahead. You don't even see Yunho move, nor do you hear him fiddle around, but you are stuck on the moon nonetheless. It's beautiful, it's bright, it's dreamy.

"Nothing." He laughs. "Tell me what you see, love."

"Yunho, I—" You turn to look at him, but before you can even say, do, anything, your eyes immediately shift to the center of the table, causing you to pause mid-sentence.

On the table is an opened small, black box with a ring inside. A simple, but beautifully chic rose gold ring that blended seamlessly into an infinity-shape near the center, a small heart-shaped diamond sitting in the middle cushioned in between smaller diamonds. It's beautiful, it's bright, it's dreamy.

"Y-Yunho." You say his name softly. Your heart is beating out of your chest because although you'd love to do this with Yunho, you aren't sure if you're entirely ready. But luckily for you, Yunho knows you well.

Very well.

And he understands. He knows the feeling all too well, too.

"I— it's a promise ring. Because as much as I want to say fuck it right now, I know we're both waiting until we're absolutely ready to build a life together. I just want you to know that I'm yours. No matter what. I'm yours and nothing's gonna change that. I'm here."

"Babe." The tears well up in your eyes as you admire the ring sitting in the box before looking back up at him. He's right, and it's what you love the most about him. He's never one to rush or pressure you into anything, he's the one who thinks logically and rationally. But, he never fails to show you just how much you mean to him, how much this relationship means to him. There was always this cloud above the both of you after that night you two talked about building a life together and doing the crazy shit grownups do. Because even though you truly love Yunho and you know he's the one you wanna be with, you still have a whole year of school ahead of you, more dance competitions ahead of you; plus, whatever else post-grad will bring for you. Yunho is still navigating his own life after graduation and even though he might be in a slightly better place than you right now, you know he's also trying to be there for his mom and aunt more. Things are still unsettled and it wouldn't be the time for you two to think about engagements, marriages, what kind of home you want, kids— even if that's the end goal.

Whatever the combination looked like.

But having Yunho do this, to give you a promise ring that shows you the want, the need, the dedication he has to be there for you every step of the way and vice versa. It means more than anything, and it's all you could've ever asked for. You're happy to know he is yours, just as you are his.

"I love it. Thank you."

"Can I?" He licks his lips, taking the ring from the box in order to slip it on your finger. You simply nod as the tears stream down your cheeks, fingers slightly shaking at the overflowing love and happiness you feel being here, being with Yunho. "Baby, why are you crying?" He chuckles a bit, leaning over to wipe the tears from your cheeks.

"I just.. I don't know. I just love you. Sometimes, it still feels so unreal." He subtly bites onto his bottom lip to prevent himself from smiling even more. But, he thinks you're so cute right now. So pretty, so beautiful. So.. his.

"Come here, love." He gestures to his lap. You silently walk over and straddle his lap, arms lazily wrapped around his neck. He leans in for a kiss, large hands resting on your hips while he indulges in the sweetness of your lips, the way you feel resting on him, your scent.

Everything.

The kiss intensifies quick, and you find yourself slowly grinding on Yunho— feeling how hard he is beneath you. It's a slow grind, one where you drag your clothed core over his length ever so nicely, just to feel every bit of him against you. 

"Fuck." He hisses.

"Let's go inside, babe."

"Or.. I can take you right here, right now. Let everyone see what you do to me." He presses a kiss to your jaw. "How you make me feel." He looks up at you just as he presses another kiss to your chin. "Hm, baby? Should I just selfishly keep you to myself?" He hums, hands squeezing your hips a little harder as you continue to slowly rock against him. You let out a soft, whiny moan and it shoots straight down to Yunho's dick. After his 'lil bits of teasing, he knows at the end of the day, he just wants you to himself. No one else.

No one, nothing, in between.

So, he swiftly carries you in one motion, hurrying into the room before slamming the balcony door shut. He drops you onto the bed, immediately latching his lips onto yours in a hungry, heated kiss. He crawls in between your lap as you lay back, Yunho's hands immediately squeezing your inner thighs. He lowers himself just enough to tease your core with his clothed, hardened member. That contact alone sends tingles down your spine, enough for a moan to slip from your lips in between kisses. Yunho doesn't waste any time shedding off your clothes, admiring every inch of your body with trails of kisses, gentle touches. 

"Need you." He says in your ear. "Can I have you?" You nod hastily, helping Yunho out of his shirt. 

"You have me, Yunho." He pauses and looks at you for a moment, and for the first time ever, you aren't sure what it means. You aren't sure what he's feeling. But, his expression softens, his eyes are holding onto the stars, the moon, the sun, that he sees in your own. Because he has you. 

He has you.

He doesn't say anything before locking his lips with yours, the need, want, desire, so evident in every move he makes. He takes a few moments to slip in two digits, just to get a feel for how wet you are. He groans against you when you arch your back upwards, too hungry, too eager, to feel you wrapped around him. He starts to pump himself a few times, spreading your wetness across his length before lining himself up at your entrance. 

"Ready for me?" You nod, gasping at him pushing into you until he bottoms out to the hilt. The both of you adjust to the feeling before he begins to work you at a steady pace. But, Yunho keeps himself close to you— skin to skin, hand tightly locked with yours. It's slow and steady, intimate.

Tonight feels so much more different. So much more intense. 

So much more special.

Yunho continues to whisper praises against your skin, slightly picking up his pace and making you whimper in response. He finds that he wants to feel more of you, so he sits back onto his knees and holds you flush against him while he gives you control. You start to roll your hips, hands tugging at the ends of his hair when you pick up your pace. The position has you feeling every inch of him inside of you, only wanting more— to be closer, if ever possible.

"Oh, babe—" You mewl and tilt your head back in pleasure. He takes the opportunity to nibble at your neck, tongue swiping across the surface.

"Oh shit, baby." He moans breathily. "Just like that. You're so good to me." He repeats. "So good to me." The grip on your hips gets a little stronger while Yunho guides you. He pushes you to ride him faster, clit rubbing against him so deliciously it pushes you to the edge— right where he needs you to be.

"Oh god— god Yunho." You moan loudly. "I'm gonna cum—"

"That's it. That's my good girl." He coos, holding you against him tightly. "Let me feel you." He feels your walls pulsing against him, squeezing his length tightly in all the right places. He lets out another moan as he adjusts his position and fucks up into you to chase his own high. You wrap your arms around him, whining from the sensitivity until you hear him mumble curses against your neck; groaning when he releases and fills you up. The both of you don't move from your positions for awhile, only indulging in more slow, sweet kisses despite being a sweaty mess.

"I love you so much, Y/N. You literally have no idea how much I adore you." Yunho brushes the hair away from your face. "I can't wait to see what the future holds for the both of us. Cause I'm here. I don't wanna go anywhere if it's not with you." He repeats, kissing you gently.

"I love you too, Yunho. I'm yours." You caress his cheek, taking him in; everything about him. He smiles sweetly at you, carrying you and holding you close while making his way to the bathroom.

"Time for another shower?" You laugh loudly, letting Yunho take care of you for the rest of the night in many ways.

In the end, those literature assignments would always mean something to you two. Those nights when he found you in the parking lot. The random McDonalds trips. The walks underneath the full moon. The single rose. The fight over Seonghwa and those bumps in the road.

Those will always mean something to you two because in the end, no matter the chaos, the background noise, the extra baggage, it all brought you closer together. 

In the end, it blessed you with Yunho.

In the end, it blessed you with the greatest love you've ever known.

In the end, it will always be you and Yunho against the world.

♣︎ taglist: @s-nsanshine @soupbinlily @tyongff-ff @jiminiscricket @g1g1l @staytinyinmybpack @woomyteez @gfksz @bitchwhytho @savluvsmingi @thisisntmyrightera @hyukssunflower @miriamxsworld @tmtxtf @kuromibabe04 @lmnhead @carrietwrites @tournesol155 @persphonesorchid @txt-yaomi @mxnsxngie @h-nji @mundayoonimnida @jalapeno-princess @nakiiko @asjkdk @kunikku @idkwgoh @kyeos4ng @agust-d2 @araknoid @bintificreads @primoppang @aurorasjoongie @wineyoungie @yunhotteokkk @yungigiggles @jaerisdiction @ignoretheskies @luminouskalopsia @naeviscall @vixensss @choisansplushie @arya9111 @my-lightspirit @dazednconfusion @astro-doll-the-star @faesmingi @idfkeddieishot @startinystay @emily505 @mgdixon @yusalterego @cheynalexilaiho @svintsandghosts @mismatchfluffysocks @meeitany @au-ghosttype

[joekeeryswife]

coming home and masey surprises you with dinner!!

dinner - m.m

a/n: hey loves! here is a short but sweet story about our mase! this is the cutest idea ever. i honestly don’t even know this this makes sense but oh well, enjoy reading 🩰

CHAPTER TWO OF MY LOVE ISLAND SERIES IS COMING SOON!

stress is all you were feeling. the stress of your new job was the worst. even when you were at home you were stressing about it and all you wanted to do was quit. the only person who could make all your problems go away was Mason, your boyfriend of 2 years who made your whole world complete.

you had moved to Manchester with Mason when he got signed for man united almost a year ago and you had thought the job would have gotten better by now but it has gotten worse. the drive home was slow, filled with traffic and idiots that don’t know how to drive and when you finally pulled into the drive way to your house you felt relived.

but knowing that you would have to go back there tomorrow made you anxious. you grabbed your bag and got out of the car and locked the car door before going into the house. you were greeted by the smell of Masons cooking, you took your coat and shoes off before making your way through the house and saw him with his back toward you facing the stove.

he could hear your footsteps as you approached him and he smile slightly, he had seen how stressed you had been recently and he wanted to do something special. he felt your arms go around his waist and your head rest against his back. “hey sweetheart” he said, his voice soft and filled with love. you mumbled ‘hey’ and sighed.

he turned around to face you and kissed your forehead gently. his arms went around your neck and you hugged him tighter. just being in his presence made you calm, it was like his aura was able to make you feel better. “how’s your day been?” you just shook your head at his question, he already knew the answer. he hated that he couldn’t do anything to help you, you were too proud to let him provide for you but you were too scared to leave this job incase no where else would hire you which was stupid, anyone would be lucky to have you.

“that bad huh?” he ran a hand up and down your back soothingly, you nodded. “why don’t you go sit down, relax, go have a shower hmm? dinner will be ready once you’re out.” you sighed “you trying to say i smell or something?” you joked making him laugh and give you a gentle squeeze. “i was trying to be subtle” he joked back making you laugh for the first time that day. it was crazy that you could go a whole day at work and not laugh once, the place was draining. you let go of Mason, giving him a quick kiss on the lips before you made your way upstairs for a shower.

-♡-

“here you go angel” he placed the spaghetti bolognaise in front of you as you sat at the dinner table. it was your favourite meal and Mason made it the best. he sat down next to you, the table was decorated with two candles, flowers in a vase and there was music playing in the background and you didn’t know why but you started to get emotional.

Mason always found a way to make you feel better and him doing this for you just made you feel so grateful for him. Mason had noticed that you weren’t eating straight away and turned to look at you and saw your eyes filled with tears. he put down his fork and quickly wrapped his arm around you. “what’s the matter honey? talk to me” his voice was filled with concern “i’m just-” you stuttered with a few tears rolling down your cheeks “im so grateful you’ve done this for me, like you didn’t have to and you’re just really sweet so thank you” his heart melted.

“aww baby” he kissed your forehead and shifted more towards you. “you don’t have to thank me. you’re my girlfriend and i saw you were stressed i just wanted to make you dinner, you make it all the time which is another stress on top of everything else. i was gonna leave this till later but i called your boss and i’ve got you a few days off so you can relax, you’re working too hard and you need a break honey” you wrapped your arms around him awkwardly but he didn’t care.

“if you don’t leave that place eventually you’re gonna end up at breaking point and i don’t want that, i want you to be happy and you aren’t happy there and i know you say it’s wrong if you’re living off of my money but honestly i do not care. what’s mine is yours and that includes money” he felt you shake your head “i know you don’t like the thought of that but even if it is just for a few months just till you find a new job then so be it. i need you to be happy, that is my main priority right now” you sighed, he was not going to back off about this until you quit.

“okay fine, i’ll quit” he felt relieved. that job had caused you too much stress and he hated seeing you like this. “thank god baby, we need to celebrate” you laughed as you wiped your tears off of your cheeks and Mason pulled away from the hug so he could kiss you. “if i have to use your money i will pay you back i promise” he brushed you off, groaning as he rolled his eyes “baby, this isn’t about money, this is about you being happy. now eat your food please, i spent ages on it” you giggled.

you ate some and god it tasted good, you practically moaned as you ate another bite “thank you mase, it tastes so good” he nodded “yeah, it does, better than yours” your eyes widened as you turned to look at him, he laughed at your reaction “i’m joking baby, your spag bowl is, okay” you shoved him slightly making him laugh even harder. “no, i’m being serious now i am only joking” he gave you another kiss. “now, let’s seriously celebrate you leaving that job, it was shit” he went to the kitchen to get some champagne and in that moment you knew how lucky you were to have Mason, all he did was care about your happiness and you were so grateful for that.

[lavendermunson]

with a broken heart - steve harrington

chapter 6 of miss americana and the heartbreak prince

summary after all the hard work one night can potentially ruin everything

cw reader gets distracted with an older man sorry mentions of alcohol, the usual heartbreak

w.c 2.5k

a/n all im saying is… she’s in her rep era in this chapter?

series masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter

You dance while cooking in the kitchen, and music playing softly in the background makes you so relaxed. While checking the pots and shredding the cheese to add to your pasta, the door rings, and you run towards the door.

"Hey, beautiful, I missed you.”

Steve hugs your waist and lifts you with a strong grip around your body. You’ve been feeling so alone without him, but you know it’s going to be a couple of busy weeks for him. He leaves pecks on your cheeks and puts you down so he can see your face, his palms cup your cheek, and he presses his lips against yours, not once, not twice but three times.

“I missed you too, c'mon, let’s celebrate!”

He joins you in the kitchen, helping you carry all the plates and food to the dining room and you get a special bottle of fine wine to celebrate with him. You two eat dinner while talking about your day. You tell him how much you want to go back on tour but you’ll miss him so much, and unfortunately, he can’t join you.

You spend the night drinking wine, eating, and talking. It’s so mundane, it’s something that you do with other people, but this time it feels so special. He rubs your hand and takes a sip of wine. Looking at you with that shine in his eyes, you feel so lucky to have him, and he does too.

He takes your hand in his and tugs it softly so you join him, closer. You sit on his lap, tangling your arms around his neck and kissing his face. Steve closes his eyes, letting himself fall in the moment and enjoying how your body presses against his.

“I’m so proud of you, I know you’ll have so much fun” you whisper, your words tangling his skin as you softly nip his earlobe.

“Baby–” Steve lets out a groan, pressing his fingers against your naked thighs and rubbing them slowly.

His touch makes your body fill with electricity, and his hands search for the wet patch between your legs and slowly tease your clothed clit with his finger.

“I can have fun anywhere-“

The alarm goes off, and another night having the same dreadful, hopeful dream. You were so tired, it’s been a week since you've seen him, and you knew it was time to do something about it.

You felt miserable, you kept doom scrolling on your phone and “accidentally” stalking him. You watch gossip accounts from time to time, seeing him in the arms of different girls, and it's funny how they all look like you in some sort of way.

You don’t know if you want him back, but you know this feeling has to stop.

Funny enough, your new album is almost ready. It’s a new thing, you’ve had fun experimenting and finding a new tone. It’s a mix of heartbreaking songs and ballads full of rage, with lyrics that had you mark the words in your notebook so much they bled through the page.

There’s still a week left until you start the next leg of your tour, and you are excited to go back and feel some type of love again. You’ve forgotten what that feels like.

You glance at your phone, it’s 9:00am, just in time for attending that painting class you’ve been taking to distract yourself. Your screen glows with all the unanswered calls and notifications from Robin, Steve and your team.

There has been times when you can handle even the hardest and most strange things that have come in your way, but right now your head is in a flight or fight mode and the usual answer is flight, get away from everyone, set the attention on yourself and maybe you’ll be better. Maybe you’ll start to sleep more than three hours, your skin will stop breaking out, the bags on your eyes will disappear.

But that’s just a maybe, and as your cat jumps out of your bed it’s time to get going.

_

Painting class was fine, it wasn’t a big group and everyone there didn’t really know you. They knew your name but you weren’t close to them, just a couple of brunches and coffee shops here and there.

“Hey! We are going to Mika’s birthday party in case you want to join us” Charlie asks, she’s been one of your favorite people to hang out with even if you aren’t best friends, you still have fun around each other. And what’s more fun than a party full of models?

“I’d love to!” you reply, smiling at her while you pack your things. She’s the one who introduced you to this painting class, and it has been a real change in your life. Connecting with your creative side in a way you’ve never imagined.

“I’ll text you the details, see you soon, babe!”

She blows you a kiss in the air and you do the same, closing your backpack and going out to the back door.

—

After you got the details to the party, you decided to get ready. The best way to spend the night was in a tiny black dress. The revenge dress. It hugs your body perfectly, showing off your best features and making you feel so sexy and so confident.

As you arrive at the party, everyone starts to welcome you with a bright smile, hugs from some of the models you know and appreciate, they’ve made you feel so included. A thing that didn’t happen so often, you felt so safe and so free. No attachments, no one talking your ear off about how great you are or how jealous they are of you. No negativity, no side eyes, or weird envy looks, just people you can hang out with and drink as if tomorrow will never come.

You ignore another call from Robin and join the group of girls at the bar.

“The first round is on me!” you shout over the music, they all applaud as you get closer to the bar and order a round of tequila.

As you wait for your drinks, a tall figure comes to you. It’s none other than Drew, an actor who has enormous talent and a big career in Hollywood. He is tall, handsome, famous, and a bit older than you.

“Thank you” you shout at the bartender, getting your shots and walking to your table, not after winking at Drew and giving him a smile. He does the same and watches you from afar.

“Sweet! Let's celebrate this birthday the right way!” Mika says, all of you raise your tiny glasses in the air and cheer for the birthday girl before drinking.

The first shot sits just right, it burns your throat as it travels down, and the taste leaves you dreaming of more.

“Another one! another one!" All the girls chant. Charlie goes for the second round, the third, the fourth.

At this point you’ve lost count of how many shots you’ve taken, but it doesn’t matter. You have everything you need, your girls and good music to sway your hips to.

You are on the dance floor, as the dj plays Mika’s favorite songs, and you find a liking for them. They are fast paced, not like your regular songs, they are more disco like with a heavy beat and lyrics that give you even more confidence. This night is perfect.

“Is it me, or Drew has been watching you all night?” Charlie says it in your ear, and you turn around to watch him.

“It’s just you,” you reply.

“If I were you, I'd take the shot. I don’t mean this one” she points at the cup on her hands. “Or maybe do both, you’ll need it”

You’ve drunk enough, but your body yearns for more. It’s the same with the attention, you knew he had been watching you all night, and you’ve been dancing provocatively to catch his attention. You could feel his heavy gaze on you and see the way he was undressing you with his eyes. It felt good, risky, and so...

“Is there something in my face?” You say as you meet him over the bar, he is drinking whiskey, and suddenly your mind starts to play tricks on you.

“No, nothing wrong I mean. You have a beautiful face.”

You giggle like a teenager, finding the seat next to him without ever breaking eye contact. He turns to the side to have a better look at you.

“You have a beautiful face too, i’ve seen it on the big screen.”

He laughs, and his voice is even deeper when he does that.

“You are funny," he says as he finishes his whiskey, leaving the glass on the table and getting closer.

You let him. Because he smells like something you know, but he feels like an entire new world.

“What are the odds of us meeting here? both alone and waiting for a good time?” he says, his voice so deep it charms your socks off. “Do you believe in destiny?”

“I believe in having fun, do you want to dance?” You ask him, forgetting everything he said earlier.

“I don’t dance, but I like to watch,” he confesses.

“Suit yourself,” you shrug, threatening to walk away from him if he doesn’t stop you. As if he were reading your mind, he touches your shoulder ever so slightly, but it feels like a million fires.

“Wait, i’m a terrible dancer, but i’ll try for you”

And there he is. At your feet.

“Join me, handsome” Something very deep inside you hurts at the nickname, but the alcohol and the smell of his cologne blur the feeling.

—

Your dance moves wear the alcohol off, you start to feel the pain on your feet, and your arms are completely sore.

“Someone is tired, maybe I can drive you home?” Drew says, he has been dancing with you for more than an hour.

“Oh” the way he looks at you, the smell of his cologne, and the way his body starts to warm you when he gets closer. “I’d love that.”

"Goodbye, babes, thank you for coming!” Mika gets closer to you, she helps you get in your coat and joins her boyfriend.

“Bye bye, love you,” you say, as Drew keeps his eyes on you. He takes your purse and then your hand, leading you to the door but he sees you struggling.

“Are you alright? Do you need me to carry you?” he asks.

“My feet hurt but i can handle it, don’t worry,” you reassured.

“Not on my watch, let me help you.”

You nod, he gets ever closer as he gets behind you and lifts you up from the ground. He carries you bridal style and you start to giggle, he finds it adorable and grins at you.

You feel like you’re in the clouds. The amount of attention, the mischievous feeling of care and love. You’ve just met him, and he looks good, he smells good, and he’s so, so strong.

As you get to the door, a couple of flashes come your way, you hide your face in the crook of Drew’s face and he starts laughing as your breath tickles on his skin. He hurries up to his car and helps you get on the ground, then on the car.

You forget who you are in the moment, and you lean up to kiss him while the flashes go on.

—

He drives you home, as he promised.

“We arrived,” he says, looking at you, with that same grin from before.

“Thank you for driving me home, it’s been nice to meet you and dance with you,” you smile.

“It’s been my pleasure, honey.”

You blush for the first time that night, the heat catches up on your cheeks. It’s crimson red the way he looks at you.

He starts to lean in, you do the same. His lips brush yours as he whispers, “You are so beautiful” His lips meet yours in a coordinated dance, and that’s when he loses you.

You remember, you remember everything. That night in the backyard, that night at the concert, that day at the little farm, that day at your house.

He’s always on your mind. His silhouette, his raspy voice, he comes to you as a ghost. The remnants of whiskey, he tastes just like him, just like your Steve. Even though he is not yours anymore, He is wandering around with a different girl a day, and you feel so replaceable, so hurt.

Drew’s hands press on the back of your neck, pulling you closer.

“Touch me,” you whisper.

His hands travel down your ass, where he squeezes and pinches with such intensity. But it doesn’t feel like him, it doesn’t feel like Steve because he is not Steve.

He is not the one you want, he is a vessel for something you yearn for every day.

You stop moving your lips, squeezing his bicep as you push him back to his seat. Suddenly, you feel tired, and a headache starts to grow. Your head falls to the side, resting on his shoulder.

“Are you alright, honey?” he asks, caressing your ass delicately.

“I’m, i think i should go”

You take your stuff with you, hand on the door and taking all your bottled feelings with you.

“Sure, i’ll walk you to the door” he says, fixing his jeans to hide his hard on and taking the keys off the ignition.

“No, I'm fine. I’m only tired and i have an early meeting tomorrow.”

You lie—anything to get out of his car right now.

“Can we see each other again?” he asks, breaking into your head and interrupting your pool of thoughts.

“Yes, i’ll dm you” you answer, but as you look at him, his confused face makes you giggle again.

“What’s dm you?”

“Very funny, good night,” you say, fixing your dress and ready to get out of the car.

“Can I get your number?” he asks, his voice softly pleading to you.

“Oh, you don’t know what a dm is?”

“I’m old, honey”

“Right, i’ll give you my number. You can text me, and we can hang out again”

You extend your hand, and he quickly understands, he gives you his phone so you can save your number in his contacts.

“Did we just hang out?” he asks as you type your name on the screen, you write your name without a single heart or smile. Your interest in him seems to vanish as his cologne isn’t so strong anymore.

“A little,” you shrug, handing the phone back he takes it without stopping looking at you.

“Alright, i’d love to do it again then”

“Goodnight, thank you for the ride” You kiss his cheek and wave at him as you get to your door.

He waves back at you and puts the key back to the ignition. You open the door of your home and get in.

As you get ready to bed you start thinking about Drew. Is it bad you used him as a distraction? Do you really want to see him again?

You take off your makeup feeling like something is missing, apart from Steve and now Robin. You are forgetting something but you can’t wrap your head around it. You put on your pajamas, the worries will have to wait until the morning.

As you go to sleep, you look at your ceiling. “Steve, please stop haunting my dreams” you whisper.

And on the other side of the country, he does the same thing. Wishing you were by his side and he wasn’t such an idiot.

i wanted to cry with this one because i’ve been through hanging out with someone because i missed someone else and it’s so unfair and heartbreaking ):

tags @eddiesguitarskills @hipsternerd9 @afraidofshrimp @rexorangecouny @crowssixof @wiltedflowerz-blog @keerysfolklore @micheledawn1975 @thxtmarvelchick @kriitiihere @kitdjarin1 @peculiarwren thank you for the support!! (comment if you want to join the tag list!!)

I hope you like this series, feedback is appreciated! don't forget to REBLOG TO SUPPORT THE AUTHOR! ♡

[chrisevansonly]

𝐕𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐭’𝐬 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 (𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲’𝐬 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥 𝐀𝐔)

ʚharry styles x female reader

ʚviolet is growing so quickly and before you know it, she’s saying her first word and harry is a mess

ʚno warnings just lots of fluff:)

ʚi’m back with harry’s angel! i know its been a while since i put anything out for this little series and im so sorry i promise im working on it🥹

Violet was growing up before your eyes, really it was quite scary seeing her get bigger and beginning to get more curious, even starting to crawl. It was almost like it was yesterday you were welcoming her into the world and sharing your first cuddles as a family of three. Now you were smiling at her as you sat on the floor, rolling a little coloured soccer ball her way, giggles flooding into the living room.

“Come on roll it back to mama!”

Violet giggled pushing the ball back your way as she clapped

“Yes! My smart girl!”

You couldn’t help the laugh that spilled from your lips as she began to wiggle in place, hearing your laughter only intensified her wiggles, god you couldn’t get enough for her

“What in the world is going on down here?”

Harry’s voice caused you to smile, turning to see him walk into the room

“Hi lovie, we’re just having such a good time with our soccer ball aren’t we baby?”

Violet giggled clapping her hands as Harry leaned down to kiss your forehead, moving then to go sit near his little girl

“Are you being the silliest little baby? Hmm?”

If there was anyone who loved Harry more than you it was your daughter, her wide eyes watching him with so much excitement and love as he sat on the carpet. He couldn’t help but smile at his baby girl as she began to babble, almost having her own conversation with him

“Oh yeah? Okay m’love i’ll be sure to tell mummy, oh yes, you’re totally right”

Watching the two of them was something you would never get bored of ever

“Are you and daddy conspiring against me?”

Harry sent you a wink

“Tell mummy we are doing no such thing!”

“Dada!!”

Harry smiled

“Yes exac-what did you just say?!”

The room got quiet as you looked at Violet, shock evident on both yours and your husbands face

“Dada! Dada!!”

“A-Angel did you hear her?”

Sniffling you wiped your eyes coming over and sitting with them as Harry was quick to pick her up, cradling Violet to his chest, tears in his eyes as well

“Yeah baby, i’m dada, yes!”

Violet giggled touching his cheeks gently as she looked between you both

“I can’t believe she said her first word”

“She’s growing up to fast!”

Smiling sweetly you kissed Violets cheeks before moving to rest your head on Harry’s shoulder, providing him with a little bit of comfort as he experienced a whirlwind of emotions

“Oh lovie she’ll always be your little girl I promise”

“Not little enough!”

Violet just smiled at the two of you, having absolutely no idea what you were both talking about, all she knew is you both made her happy and that was what mattered.

“You said your first word my little bee, I’m so proud of you”

Her face lit up in your direction, Harry now pressing a few kisses to her cheeks

“I guess all our late night talks worked didn’t they baby?”

You raised an eyebrow looking at him

“What late night talks…”

“Dada!!”

“Exactly Vi”

You shook your head at the two of them, a laugh escaping your lips there was quite literally nothing else in the world that would beat the time you got to spend with your loves. Times like these would always be so special, even if your little one was getting older.

Especially when Harry and Violet had been working on the word Dada for a few nights now…but you didn’t have to know that.

[firstservepercentage]

USO kit tier list based on my bias

(just the players I normally watch)

WTA:

Tier A+

coco - NB's design and colour choice always makes so much sense. the back side design and the width of the skirt's folds are supre cute 🥺 they actually use their brain when designing kits!

naomi - without the jacket its maybe just so so, but an absolute banger with the jacket on. should be remembered as a historically significant kit for tennis fashion. and the headphones ohmygawd 🥺🥺🥺 who ever think this kit is not cute can fight me

Tier A

maria - whenever she gets a tank top kit she serves hard. nice colour choice and skirt design by addidas (cant believe im saying that) so sad it only existed for 1 set 😭

marta - wilson just going with the 1 dress design that worked well in every slam and its still working well. the skirt's texure looked so nice in the wind

Tier B

dasha & karo - a bit boring but suits their vibes well

qinwen - same. would like some brighter colours but was fine

katie & bibi - the actual best nike WTA kit. lilac looks cute especially under sunlight, but the design is a bit too boring for me

Tier C

elena - colour is cute, she looks like a barbie in pink, but 0 design and 0 sense in the patterning choice. looks like some swim suit my mom would buy me when I was 10

aryna (nigh match version)- how dare they call that a custom kit i can do the same design in 10 mins

Iga - bisexual flag colour but a low saturation version. also points taken off for their kits starting to look like wet tissue 20 mins into a match

Tier D

Mirra & Paula - hate the colour hate the design. nike how dare you put that ugly ass kit on them die and rot in hell

jasmine - (a) its the same north american hard court swing kit asics making 0 effort as usual (b) i do not understand that colour choice like why dull reddish purple with bright orange. what made you think of that

ATP:

Tier A+

daniil- nice colours, nice jacket, nice little design around the chest part, nice shoes. wth lacoste you can actually design???????

Tier A

Adidas people - contrary to their RG series the purple-ish blue the used this time works very well with black & white and minimalist design

Carlos - black sleeveless will never not look nice on him but its still a bit boring. would love to have a bit more special texture, with that it will def be A+

Francis - the only person that got the good nike kit (i.e. the lilac kit) in ATP if im not mistaken

Tier B

lorenzo (musetti) i like guys who wear barbie pink and look proud wearing it

matteo - not super interesting design but colour is cute. also he looks nice in polo shirts

Grigor - standard lacoste design with reasonable colour choice

Tier B-

Jannik- the kit was okay and looked a bit better than i expected. im just still a angry about his 1st set

casper - its actually okay but he kind of looked exactly the same as his opponent so i really had a hard time watching 😭

Tier C

novak - i dont understand the design why so many squares and rectangles sir can you explain. it just makes him look more like a tennis robot with implanted AI

holger (the purple kit) - should have just taken the barbie pink one

ben - same with iga. seriously i would like to know how much ON has paid them to wear those wet tissue kits

Taylor - it looks fine but 0 design, just went for the safest choice

Tier D

Jack - (a) i do not understand the back side design (b) nike how did you make the T shirt look oversized for a 193cm tall and rather muscular athlete wtf

Alex - is that pattern choice meant to make his opponent dizzy by looking at him or something

[tillthelandslide]

Same For You: (4) No Need to Explain

Series Warnings: slow burn romance, eventual smut, age gap, complicated relationship (low-key unhealthy dynamics), eventual love...

A/n: okay.... Here's part 4, honestly I am so so excited for you guys to see what it's in store for this series, every chapter I am more and more proud of and I am really enjoying working on this, it's actually making me so happy and I love this series (never thought I'd say that about my own work) I know it's a bit slow to get going but please bare with me.... It will be worth it truth me! Love you lots - Lou 🫶🏼

IM SORRY I JUST COULDN'T WAIT TO POST IT...

Taglist: @scooby-doodoo @thereisaplaceintheheart @theoriginalwhatsername (if you want to be added please just drop me a message 🫶🏼)

Series Masterlist

(3) The Deal

Matty's house was very... Plain? She was unsure whether that was the appropriate word to describe it, she liked it, it felt arty and edgy, but she preferred a space that felt like home. Of course there were things scattered around his house that screamed "Matty". Things that added a special touch to his space, but she felt a little lonely looking around the hallway, following the man into his kitchen.

"Nice place" she comments, not entirely telling the truth. His eyes find her face and he scans it, noting the way she smiled but how it didn't quite reach her eyes, a tell tale sign of her lying.

"Really? Doesn't really seem liked your kind of thing" he asks and she pulls a funny face at him, not able to lie. He only chuckles at her as he clicks the kettle on.

"Bit too neat for my liking..." She says and he laughs again. His house was visually pleasing, she'd be silly to deny that, but it didn't feel lived in. She likes the feeling she got when she went back to her mother's house, the warm feeling in her stomach, her heart feeling like it was back home again. She didn't get that from Matty's place and looking around the room, she didn't see how he could feel that way either.

"You can call me boring love, it's fine....I won't take offense" she shakes her head, and again he's laughing. She gets that feeling in her stomach again, it dips and then soars and she thought it was only one reserved for Ross, but now, sitting across from Matty, she's learning that maybe that wasn't the case.

"No... No not boring, just wasn't what I expected is all. I like it, it's very aesthetic. Just not as homey as I personally like..." She pauses as she looks around the room, even his kitchen was clean cut and raw, there weren't many decorations and if she didn't know him she'd think he'd just moved in.

"Does it not get lonely? I can imagine it would" she says and if she was asked, she'd blame it on the alcohol she'd consumed. She takes in the furrow of Mattys eyebrows and the way he runs a hand along his chin as he looks at her. Matty quite liked the way she was unwaveringly honest with him, she didn't hold herself back despite people typically doing so when they hadn't known each other all that long. Matty was like that too... Another similarity that drew them together.

"Sorry....I'm intruding" she says just as the kettle clicks, Matty turns away from her, attending to the tea.

"How'd you take it love?" He asks, ignoring the desire to take the piss out of his own words, make an innuendo just to ease some of the tension. But he then thinks it's better to just welcome it, for it was with her, if it was her asking questions that made him slightly uncomfortable, he knew he wouldn't mind all that much.

"Milky please... Two sugars" she says and he makes it how she likes, turning back to her and placing the tea in front of her.

"We can sit in my living room if you'd like? Slightly more 'homey" then the rest of the house" he jests and she raises a hand over her heart, feigning hurt.

"You're never going to let me live that down are you?" She says and she begins following him to the other room.

"I mean, I invited you into my home and so far all you've done is take the piss" he jokes, he sits down, quite close to her considering the sofa was large enough for three. He sees her shiver and he sighs.

"hold this a second" he asks, despite the fact he has a coffee table. She does as he says and their fingers graze before he disappears, running upstairs. Whilst he's gone she takes in the two mugs she's holding and the sight brings a genuine smile to her lips.

His is a white mug with red writing that reads "world's best dad", whilst he's given her another white mug that reads "some people just need a high five" in big letters with smaller letters underneath that read "in the face with a chair" she chuckles out loud and she can hear Matty hum from upstairs.

She then hears him run back down the stairs, before he's standing before her again, a large hoodie resting in his arms.

"Here" he says, handing it to her.

"thanks" she says, handing him both cups as she tugs the jumper over her head. It seems like cigarettes and him and the edges are frayed but the fabric underneath is soft and feels warm against her skin. The fabric was creased, it had been worn recently, he had worn it and again that warm fuzzy feeling appears in her stomach. She tries to push it away as she peers across at him, taking in the small smile that rests against his mouth, she watches his eyes rake down her form and her mouth goes dry. She shouldn't be feeling like this, it was wrong.

"cute' he comments as he gives her the mug back, she simply smiles at him. He holds his cup in one hand, resting his arm around the back of the sofa, hand resting next to her head as they look at each other.

"Nice mugs" she laughs again and his eyes flick between the mugs, bringing the hand that's next to her up to his face when he realises what he's done.

"I'm so sorry" there's no real reason to apologise so she brings her hand to his and takes it away from her face and squeezes it, shaking her head at him.

"It's fine... I like them - very you" he raises his eyebrows at that and she laughs again, he laughs alone with her after a beat. Eventually when their laughter dies down, his eyes flick to her their intertwined hand and he feels himself blush. His mind flicks to Ross, and he immediately pulls his hand away (although gently as to not offend her) and he places it back next to her head.

"To answer your question earlier... Yes, it gets lonely" he says and she smiles sadly at him.

"Bet you're hardly here though right? Always on the road?" She asks and he nods.

"Yeah... Don't spend that much time here... Sometimes makes it worse to be honest" he says and she frowns at him.

"How so?"

"When we're on tour, I got my boys y'know. The truth is, they're home to me... So when I'm here and they're not... It's just lonely" he says and she nods, understanding. She leans her head against his hand, and he smiles at her as she does. Her cheek is warm against the skin there and he feels electricity spark against his hand.

He wanted nothing more than to lean forward and grasp her face in his hold, never letting her go... But he couldn't... Not when it was clear Ross was also interested. He debates whether to bring up the bassist and despite knowing he shouldn't, he can't help it.

"Looked awfully cosy with Ross tonight... Wearing his jacket and everything" Matty comments. She knew something was up earlier, and she feels conflicted that he seems to be bothered by it. She felt more than confused about her feelings, it was obvious she cared for Matty too much already, he made her smile and laugh, and she had that warm fuzzy feeling in her stomach when she spoke to him.

But Ross excited her, she wanted to know everything there was to know about him, she also felt at home with the man. He could smile and her heart would soar and her hairs would stand on end. She was fucked.

"You don't like that" she says, it wasn't a question, it was a statement and Matty doesn't know how to respond.

"I wouldn't say that no... I dunno y/n. I feel sort of protective over you. Not that Ross would do anything bad. Quite the opposite. I dunno. It's complicated"

Complicated didn't even begin to describe it. She had never felt this way before, she couldn't pinpoint what she felt for the both of them, but she also felt horrible because the truth was she hardly knew either of them yet, not truly, not for long enough.

"Nothing will happen if you don't want it to" she says and she doesn't really know why she does, it just slips out. She didn't know how to feel and clearly her brain wasn't functioning properly. She knew ideally she shouldn't be thinking about either of them this way, she was working with them now. It was unprofessional.

"Do you want something to happen?" He asks and he watches as she removes her face from against his hand, taking a sip of her tea as she shrugs.

"I hardly know either of you Matty... And I'm about to be working with you both. So it's not a good idea" she says and he nods slowly, eyes wandering over her facial features, fingertips plucking his lips, rolling the bottom one between his thumb and finger. As he looks at her in can't help but find a flaw in her words, they did know each other, maybe they hadn't known each other for very long but he already knew things about her that made him care for her deeply, that made him yearn for her.

"Okay... But ignore that for a second. What do you feel?" He asks and she just laughs, because she couldn't give him an answer. She didn't know. Or she was in denial.

"I don't know" she says honestly. The only way she could describe it, was that she felt a pull towards the both of them, she was unsure what that meant, or whether that meant she liked one or the other, but she knew when she was with Matty, she didn't feel so alone, he was with someone who was similar to her, who understood the dark parts of her soul.

But when she was with Ross, she felt like she was the person she wanted to be, someone desired, someone wanted. Ross represented a different part of herself, someone free, someone happy, someone who finally felt at home and she liked who she was and how she felt when she was around him.

"Hmm" he doesn't press any further and instead they both finish their tea and she explains that she should head home soon. She retrieves her phone from Matty's coat pocket, the both of them standing at his door as they wait for the Uber to arrive. She peers at the time, 1:02 it reads and she frowns slightly, seeing a text from Ross. She's still wearing his hoodie and she doesn't plan on taking it off and he smiles at that.

"Thank you for the tea" she says and somehow his hand weaves its way into hers, most of it is hidden under the fabric but his hand slips beneath it, grasping the warm but small hand in his.

"You're welcome" he says, pulling her towards him to hug her tightly. His arms wrap around her waist, and he pulls her up slightly, forcing her on her tip toes. Her arms weave their way across his shoulders, tucking her head to the side against his chest as his tuck into her neck.

She feels his breath caressing her skin and feels the symphony of his heart, drumming against her ear. It was intimate, it was nice. He sighs deeply and she feels his lips contort into a smile against her neck, they weren't pressed against the skin but they grazed it. Goosebumps. She had goosebumps.

"Let me know when you're home okay?" She nods into his embrace "and maybe... If you figure out how you're feeling... Give me a text" he says and his words surprise her, she doesn't know what they mean, or what he wants. She pulls away from the man, looking up into his eyes and nodding. Their hands don't let go of each other until their fingertips are unable to touch anymore and finally they drop.

She then slips into the Uber and feels even more confused then she initially did, especially when she sees two more texts from Ross.

"Love? Xx" One reads.

"I'm hoping you've just fallen asleep... Won't take offense this time 😋xx" the next reads.

"I'm so so sorry! I wasn't ignoring you I swear.. Matty left his keys in his coat and I dropped them off. On my way home now though. I promise I'm safe xx" she replies back, seeing three dots appear before they disappear again.

She frowns at that, did she upset him?

❀•°❀°•❀•°❀°•❀•°❀°•❀•°❀°•❀ •°❀°•❀•°❀°•❀

She meets with the band the next day, explaining the plans in further detail to them. They all (apart from Jay) seem to be okay with the idea, excited to be working the band.

"Alright Jay stop being a dick, you could've easily come to the meeting with y/n and had your say but you didn't... So now majority rules and you're going to have to deal with it" Abbie argues, standing up for her friend which ultimately y/n is thankful for.

Jay sighs and pouts whilst the rest ask some more questions, all of which she answers happily.

"So Matty is really keen to have all of us in the studio together, give us a chance to get to know everyone... We can sit down and show them what we've got if we want... Or start from scratch" y/n explains, they all nod, smiling widely.

"I'm so fucking hyped man" Clara says making everyone laugh "this is going to be epic" she says and y/n cant help but smile widely as she speaks.

Eventually everyone has to leave for their day jobs, but y/n says at the coffee shop, receiving a text from Ross.

"Want to grab that coffee we spoke about? Xx" she's thankful that he's not annoyed or upset enough to completely ignore her.

"Absolutely! I'm actually at a place now, was just catching up with the band but they've gone to work" she says, texting him the address after. He arrives maybe 10 minutes later and she can't help but smile widely when he walks through the door. He wears a black hoodie that is big but not so big it drowns him, she can still make out his good figure, and the way his chest still sits flush against the fabric. A pair of old blue jeans rest against his legs and her eyes can't help but find his thighs, despite her brain telling her not to.

He walks over to the counter, quickly ordering himself a drink before he makes his way over to her. Placing his drink down so he could properly say hello.

She stands up to greet him, the pair meeting in a tight hug. She hears him sigh against her and she swear she can sense how wide he's smiling. And he's there again, invading her senses, completly taking them over, commanding them.

"Hi" he says as they pull away from each other.

"hi" she smiles as she sits down, leaning on the palm of her hand as she looks across at him. He begs himself to get a grip, heart increasing tenfold as he looks at her, she looked so adorable sitting there like that, the jumper she's wearing, hooked up over her hands to keep her warm.

"So... You said the others went to work? What are you still doing here then?" He asks and she smiles.

"Well... Lucky for me music is my day job" she says and he raises his eyebrows up at her.

"Yeah I write songs for other artists, I've got a small studio in the garage of our house" she says, referring to the band who all live together. "I make stuff for other people as and when the offers there"

"Wow, that's cool... Show me what you're working on at the moment?" He asks and she slides the open note book towards him, their fingertips graze as she hands it to him and they hold eye contact for far too long before his eyes slowly wander down to the paper, reading the words on the page.

"This one is actually for us... Maybe" she says, referencing the band again. She forces the words out despite the way her breath is failing her. Did he feel it too? The way it felt like electricity buzzed between them when they made contact? The way it felt like time slowed as they looked into each other's eyes? The way it felt so god damn difficult to break the eye contact that just felt right?

Her handwriting is small, neat and delicate and he smiles as he reads over the words. His mind flicks to the idea of seeing her write his name, a random thought, a slightly obscure desire but one the man suddenly feels himself in dire need of.

"Not my best work..." She says and he flicks his eyes to meet hers, shaking his head.

"What?" She asks, leaning back against her chair, arms crossed. She looks so cute like that, he thinks, all stubborn and pouty, almost mad that he wasn't just saying what he was thinking. Instead he was shaking his head, sending unclear and blurry messages her way. She wants nothing more than to crawl inside his mind and be able to see every thought, touch every desire and set alight all his doubts.

He feels himself wanting to lean forward, to do something to stop that look, to make her smile at him, for him. A boop of her nose that would make it crinkle in a way that would somehow make her look even cuter. Maybe he could graze his nose against hers in an Eskimo kiss, feeling the way her breath hit his lips, hearing the way she'd giggle that giggle that he was already obsessed with. Maybe he could lean forward until his lips were nearly touching hers and just maybe when the tension became too much she'd give in, drop that look from her face and just have to kiss him, because she wouldn't be able to handle the distance apart anymore.

But he couldn't do that, he couldn't do any of it.

"Can't believe you can't see how amazing you are" he says, beginning to read part of what she had written out loud. She tries not to cringe at him speaking her own words.

"You can feel it in your soul Close your eyes and lose control Set it free and let it go Now I'm gonna let you know You'll never stop these changing roads This is the way our story goes"

"That's amazing love" he says and she blushes deeply.

"It's okay... You should really hear the demo to get the full experience" she says and he smiles.

"Tell me about it" he says, leaning forward, clinging on to her every word. She goes on to explain how she did an arrangement of strings and different sounding guitars, the song building up as you listen, and Ross can't get enough, asking question after question, just wanting a peek into her brain.

"Wow... Sounds impressive" he says.

"Thanks" she tilts her head down slightly to shield her face from him, which was tinted red at the cheeks. Her hair falls in front of her face and this time he can't resist leaning forward and hooking it behind her ear.

"You look very pretty today" he comments making her blush even more.

"Thanks..." She seems shy now and Ross finds himself liking the change in her behaviour, proud that he drew that from her. Her phone buzzes on the table and his eyes flick down to it at the same time hers do, reading "Bestie", Ross's eyebrows furrow at it, wondering again if his speculations were right.

"Sorry... It's just Matty" she says, placing her phone back down without replying. Ross doesn't know how to feel about the fact he was named that in her phone, or how to feel that he was texting her. But he quite likes how she doesn't reply, giving him her attention. He remembers her text last night and feels guilty he invited it. But the truth is he didn't know how to reply without making it obvious he was jealous.

"Just recommended me a song to listen to" she explains. Ross can't explain how the fact she was open with him, the fact that she told him exactly what the text was about, instead of leaving him guessing... He couldn't explain why he felt happy, but he did. His mind still flicks back to last night though.

"So... You went to his last night?" He asks, taking a sip from his coffee cup, attempting not to sound jealous or bitter.

"Yeah... The idiot left his keys in the coat. I just had a cup of tea and then went home" that piece of information appeases Ross and he pushes the unwanted and perhaps unneeded jealousy aside.

"He does make a mean brew" his tone has changed now and y/n sighs, feeling a pressure removed from her shoulders. Ross smiles at her and she smiles back.

"You know nothing's happening with Matty right?" She doesn't quite know why she asks it. But she felt like she had to, it was obvious something was happening between her and the bassist (whether it should be or not) and she didn't want him thinking something that wasn't true.

"oh" he says simply, he was then the one that was blushing, embarrassed that it was that obvious he had a problem with it.

"It's hard to explain but... Matty and I are really similar... I see myself in him a lot. And I guess that just draws us together a little bit y'know?" She asks and he nods.

"You don't have to explain yourself y/n, it's fine" but he smiles and secretly likes that she explains, that she tells him the truth. It saves him stressing about what was going on with her and Matty (although he still does, or perhaps just a little less than he usually would). And he supposes it makes her intentions a little clearer, less foggy.

"I know... But I want to" she says and he smiles wider now, reaching for her hand, deciding to cast any apprehension aside and just do what he wanted, which right now, was holding her hand.

The pair begin to talk about everything, finally getting to know each other the way they wanted. And again she feels like she's known him for years. She's surprised to find out how funny he was and how forward he could be, how flirty he was when he wanted. She wasn't surprised to find out that he was kind, unbelievably so and maybe too much for his own good, it was obvious how deeply he cared for others.

She found herself wanting, no, needing, to spend more time with him and the idea that they'd be working with each other made her feel undeniably happy.

When they eventually have to go their separate ways, the hug lasts a little bit too long to be considered friendly, and the way his hands drop to hold hers, not letting them go until someone has to literally squeeze past the pair, has her heart beating fast (which only returns to normal when she's far far away from him).

Ross made the blood in her veins redundant, it wasn't carrying oxygen to her body to keep it alive for the oxygen she needed to breathe was replaced by him when they were together. It wasn't air that she needed to survive, it was him. Ross caused her heart to play it's own symphony, one in which was vibrant and beautiful and made her question how she lived without him up until now.

She was well and truly obsessed, she didn't know whether this was right or wrong, whether she was delusional or of sound mind, whether this was good or bad. But one thing was for certain, whatever this was, there was no stopping it now, no matter how hard she tried to. Although neither of them knew that yet...

© all lyrics are written and owned by yours truly (let's ignore the fact they're not that good but yeah) no stealing hehe

(5) Changing Roads

[aheckinmess]

We Need a Little Christmas

(Part 2 of The Snowball Effect)

Read on AO3.

Tags: Enji Todoroki, Endeavor, Reader, Endeavor x Reader, Enji Todoroki x Reader, Christmas Special, We Need a Little Christmas, Making Christmas Cards, Christmas Cheer, This One's Short, But Still Cute, Looking at the Todoroki Family All Happy Together, Happy Todoroki Family, Merry Christmas, I'm Half Asleep Writing This

Word Count: 661 words

Summary: When your Christmas cards finally get delivered, Toya brings them in so you can look over the Todoroki family Christmas photo.

Playlist: The Snowball Effect

December 2

“Mom, the Christmas cards came in.” Toya grunts, tossing the package on the dining table. A moment later, you hear the fridge door open and he rummages through its contents.

“Thank you, Toya.” You focus on chopping vegetables and wait for the rice cooker to beep. “Do you know if your brothers are still with your father?”

“Yeah. I just came back from the park early because I didn’t feel like hanging around. My Christmas present for Dad was supposed to be in today, but your cards were the only thing in the mail.” He huffs. 

“Aww, I’m sorry, honey. What did you get him?”

“It’s the latest ultimate edition of Hero Hub. So we can study it together and work on some new moves!” Toya bounces on the soles of his feet as he munches on a spicy cucumber. “What did you get him?”

“Oh, you know, the typical workout gear, the new edition of his favorite book series, that sort of thing.” You throw the newly cooked rice into a wok with your veggies. “Especially the workout gear. He burnt through one of his last pairs the other week.”

“Hehe, he does that a lot, doesn’t he?” Toya’s array of red and white waves bristle as he moves closer to you. “Is that all you got ‘im?”

“No, Toya, but I want some of it to be a surprise for him.” 

“C’mooonnn, Mom…” He bats those pretty blue eyes at you - eyes he inherited from his father and naturally makes you sigh.

“No, Toya. I want everyone to be surprised by this. Well, Fuyumi and Natsuo might not be impressed, but I know you will. It’ll make your excitement all that much sweeter.”

“Is it a hero thing?!” 

“Yes, it’s a hero thing.”

“YES!” Toya whoops, pumping his fist in the air before you fill a large bowl with fried rice and vegetables. 

“You can make a plate if you’d like, Toya. I’m going to see if I can’t get started on making a list for Christmas cards.” You turn off the burner.

In the dining room, you sit on the cushion while fighting with the package to open. Eventually, you dig through the plastic and open the box inside, a smile lighting up on your face as the pristine image of your happy family twinkles back at you.

“What do you think?” You ask, turning to show Toya the picture.

It takes him a moment as he makes a bowl of rice, before he leans in and shrugs.

“I guess we look nice.” He grumbles.

“I’ll take that as a compliment from you.”

“Christmas cards have come in?” Enji’s visage alights in the door, before four sets of footsteps tear through the entryway and into the kitchen.

Looking up gives you the welcome sight of Enji in a rare moment of softness. Anger and annoyance don’t crease his skin. A smile even tickles the edges of his lips while he gazes upon you. 

“Want to see, Enchan? You look quite handsome, if I do say so myself.” 

He takes the glossy card from your hand. Does he also see the tell-tale smirk tattooed into Toya’s expression? Or maybe he recognizes the way Natsuo fails to hide his smile for the camera? There’s no doubting the hope glittering on Fuyumi and Shoto’s face as they both huddle around Tenko, who looks irritated by the attention.

And finally, there’s you and Enji. Joy dresses you up nicely at the idea of having your family altogether for a Christmas picture. But Enji? Enji stands tall and proud of his family, his home, his reason for living – despite the neutral expression veiling it.

“It’s lovely.” He gives you a kiss on the cheek as he hands it back.

“Christmas looks good on the Todorokis, doesn’t it?” You coo, fondling the scruff growing in on his chin.

“It does. I think this world could use more of this sort of cheer.”

Day 3

Credit to @saradika-graphics for the holiday banner! Thank you so much!

[c0smiccom3t]

AND NOW.... FOR A SPECIAL 3RD ANNIVERSARY UPDATE. (6/1/2024)

Hello friends, hello mutuals, hello dimension dyfenders fans and hello people who like indie cartoon/comic stuff in general! Comet here. Once Again. and this time i've got something ig this year. This was supposed to release on May 29th, but due to Ren not coming back for a long time because they needed to prioritize irl stuff, of course, we had to delay it.

But, but, BUT! thankfully I had a few things ready after all, however as for some other things else, we'll get to it much later, when the moment calls. Now, let's get off with the first one.

(warning, in case this update gets too long, i'll make a part two where i'll be able to link it through here.)

You Kinda... Look Different.

You may have noticed that Dislexo looks a bit different than usual (darker skin, a bit of shorter hair, etc.), in case you're wondering why... Yeah, you're about to find out.

So, while I was thinking and drawing up some D.D related stuff, I was brainstorming a little by my lonesome. All of the sudden, as I was making a new render for a character, I was like... "Wait a minute... What if I give Dislexo a new look which is a mix between a secretary and a butler but keep it's elements from what made their design unique?" and So, the new and improved Dislexo was born!

Honestly i'm proud of what they look like now. I just hope i won't (or will) get to redesign ALL of the cast again so suddenly lol! Anyways, thats just a small change I made, nothing too big. Now, let's get on something else... which is...

Pocket Adventures' current status + how's minisode 1 coming along

You might be asking inside your minds, "i wonder when more of minisode 1 will drop", "where are the new parts?"- Well, i got the answer. It'll only come only when im completely finished. However i havent been working much on it aside from making a few pages a few months ago, but hopefully this summer i may get back to it and finish it all up if i can. The final script is 73% percent complete, as for the comic itself, let's just say its 58%. I promise you i'm taking my time with delivering everything i can for this minisode. However i might republish the minisode with the series' current artstyle if it ever comes out physically (or either when I'll have the time or energy to do it.) So, now, you may be wondering: "But Comet, what do we do while we wait." Well you're not gonna believe this.

No, it's not an extremely late april fools post! We got new stuff coming soon, recently i've been brainstorming some ideas for brand new content, and you know what? It came to me, HERE'S WHAT'S COMING!

MORE TOONIES COMING YOUR WAY!

THAT'S RIGHT, after months of hiatus, Toonies is coming back with more strips! This time, since summer's coming around, i'll try to post and make more of them and even schedule the finished ones! We got even more covers for it coming, but for now, here's one of them!

More comics are not only gonna explore more of the Dyfenders' and the Dajo Crew's everyday lives in-and-out of their superhero/Villain occupations, we are also going to focus on much more on other characters (at least some of them), and some will last for a few more pages longer! No arcs though, sorry. But hey, you're getting more wackiness as a treat! Now, i know i said this year is not gonna be big like the other two years we had, but...

NEW SPECIAL CURRENTLY IN DEVELOPMENT!

THAT'S RIGHT! We're working on a new special to commemorate our three years! Thought it'd be a nice adiction to this year, we may not reveal the logo and it's title yet, but we can tell you what the sypnosis is about!

You're all invited to the biggest night in the Omniverse, right across it's stars, cosmos, galaxies and portals! Both the Dimension Dyfenders and the Dajo-Crew are crossing the red (or should we say, blue) carpet in this brand new 3-part special! Prince Dajo-Voo has a new plan on how to take over the gala, all while he tries to self-control himself from doing the same explosive incident he did back then. The Dyfenders may be having a great time at the gala, but rest assured, they'll be sure to keep a close eye on him. Here's to a Rift-errific and (hopefully) trouble-free gala!

As a bonus, when the production on all three parts are done, we'll be posting Toonies comics related to the special, which may feature a new character who will debut later on in Pocket Adventures! We don't know when it'll exactly be out, my guesses would be either summer, september or next May 2025. But rest assured, we'll be working on it, but we won't rush it out.

So... What's next?

Honestly, i can't really tell. But I can assure you i still have so may plans for this series, plans that will be put in action in the far-off future. What i really hope to do is to make animated shorts as well, not just Toonies strips, pocket adventures minisodes and comic dubs of it. Maybe if we'll ever make a backerkit or a kickstarter for it and get a budget, it might happen (along with more VAs joining in.) Speaking of VAs, in case you're a VA and you haven't auditioned yet, anytime is the right time! (this is still a test leap, but if it succeeds it may go further.)

but for now, we're sticking to comics, and then, if possible we'll get to comic dubs and so on.

That's all for now! I hope you're all looking forward to what's coming for this series. I'm sorry that it wasnt as big as the last years, but we promise that things will arrive when they can.

Happy (LATE) third anniversary, everybody!! Thanks for reading!

By the way, HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!

[stateswscarlet]

Hi!! thanks to you and your threads i finally manifested my sp after (wait for it…. this will be long!!!)

3 years of separation and 1 year of no contact!!!!!!!!!!!!

let this me a reminder to anyone out there struggling or thinking time matters. i was in such a lack state for years and had horrible things happen between sp and i but im telling you i took a healthy way to do this and remembered theres nothing i can do to “make” it happen. i reread so many of your threads and read edward art series from a new set of eyes and decided to calmly shift my state ONCE without the expectation of perfection, making something happen, waiting for the 3D, etc (all of which I did unfortunately for a year and a half and never manifested anything “big”) i just shifted my state FOR me 100%. in that moment i didn’t even care about sp, about 3d, about reflecting, heck i didnt even care if i shifted states right. i just DID IT. now ik what you and alia meant by “just do it” because THERE IS NO OTHER WAY.

anyways after i shifted my state (probably for the first or for real this time in my whole journey), i felt nothing unusual or different in a huge way (coz why would i? if im with sp i wont feel special all day) and i KID YOU NOT SCAR I think it was like maybe 3-4 hours later he (sp) CALLED me on “accident” THREE times. I was so confused as I didn’t have his number saved yet as I recently got a new phone, but then I got a text from him saying it was *his name* and if this number still belongs to me. I didn’t even panic or freak out or even think “omg i manifested this bc of my state!” i just approached it normally and replied saying it was my number. He then told me “suddenly” he keeps getting reminded of me and has been missing me for a while and wanted to see me. We decided to catch up after uni last weeks monday and it was SO GOOD. he “changed” in good ways and yes i will admit it was awkward at first because we hadn’t talked in so long nor been alone with each other but that went away so fast!!!! we kept seeing each other daily for a week and he confessed he likes me a lot, and I did too and told him ive been missing him. he said nothing ever compared to me and that the breakup hit him hard but he hid it from me. he said he has been missing me for a year now (proof that i actually shifted states and dealt with a “new” sp because a year ago he told me he dislikes me, is completely over the relationship and told me to move on because it had been 2 years at that point and he was thinking of seeing someone else). this week on wednesday he took me on a date to our old special place in my city and officially asked me to be his girl!!!!!!

so from shifting my state ONCE and all the way to relationship it took a little under 2 weeks.

oh also - just because in my story i only shifted my state properly once dont mean anyone else is wrong for doing it multiple times!!! a KEY part of the law is knowing that WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOU AND IS NATURAL TO YOU IS WHAT WILL “WORK”. whatever YOU ENJOY imagining is what will shift your state!!!! STOP trying to do everything and worry about stuff thats not yours to worry about and JUST IMAGINE.

thank you again to the loa/ss community and especially you Scar!!! I will most likely still be lurking and supporting you and my other favourites on twt but not as active anymore ;)

OMGGG CONGRATS ANONNNN 🥳 🎉🎊👏🏻🪅

this makes me sooo happy and proud thank you for sharing your success and how you did it!

[tryhardgwen]

hi gwen!

tysm for writing and posting, I really love all of your work!

quick question just for fun: if someone could only read five of your fics and no more, and you got to pick which ones, which five would you want them to read? you can include wips if you want

happy writing and i can’t wait for your next update!

anon i am so sorry for the late reply, i just. had to think about this a LOT. then i may or may not have forgot about it. oops. but thank you so much for the submission and for enjoying my fics!!

ok we are NOT including wips because that would make this answer infinitely harder. also because i can’t really judge them because… they’re not… done. im also not counting i want your violence, since it's not finished. i AM including kim suhwan vs. the world, however, because it's essentially finished. so i'm picking out of my 25 fics. that being said, here is my list of my 5 fics i would want people to read:

kim suhwan vs. the world

all my love

the mouth of the wolf, the eyes of the lamb

and all of my dreams, they’re growing lucid (i mean, can we do two here? just the whole busan boy series. this and the beach.)

don’t blame me

pour one out for the fakenuts sure, but i havent written one im incredibly proud of yet. if the one im working on turns out good, then well… 😶‍🌫️ but thats neither here nor there since it is NOT FINISHED and i dont wanna torture myself with choosing.. really op i have 26 published fics and ur making me choose FIVE of 25. ok, i will delve into my reasoning under here.

ahem. so, to start with... kim suhwan vs. the world. i feel like this one is a little self-explanatory, if only because it's my most recent fic. i do think it's one of my best written (my older fics are definitely lacking in skill, i didn't get good at writing until late 2023 i'd say) and i just... love the plot. so writing quality is great, concept also great! description amazing, dialogue amazing. my best work so far... i guess that makes sense, since im improving in skill as i write and grow more. i love peyz. i love writing fics about love and growing up and coming of age, and okay i DID project a bit onto peyz because i too have an unrequited crush and uh... i struggle with my emotions being a "lot" a lot. especially as of late, ive been "feeling" a lot. i get angry, i get sad. i mean my dad died lol! (i do sort of separate my fics nowadays as pre-dad death and post) but this story is just so special to me. you can see my growth as a person and a writer in comparison to my first fics. i mean, its been two years, pretty much. suhwan here is so special to me, and so is jihoon, honestly. wangho is too, and... god i do love geng 2023 so much. AGH. i know chapter 5 isn't out yet, but it will be tonight, or tomorrow! before t1 geng semis, at least. i hope.

next, all my love. also self-explanatory i think. it's my most popular fic, and even though i don't even really like onerzeus, i love this story and i love my iteration of them. i really badly wanted to write a second chance homecoming story (fun fact, aml was almost a bengifaker instead of onerzeus!) and i ended up doing that. i chose onerzeus since i thought they fit it. and then the fic sorta snowballed. i initially wanted 3 chapters, 10k each, 30k total word count. hoo boy that didn't happen LOL. EVERYTHING snowballed. i started putting all my favorite music in it, and putting cars and stick shifts in, and making the almost-family have an auto shop. i put jojopyun in bc i fucking love the guy so, so much. i put many bits of myself and my dad into it (i look back on this fic with a tad bit of sentimentality because it has so much of him in it. i did write that fic before he died). but i put just.. things i wanted to put in. it was SO self indulgent! gumakeria marriage, jojopyun, music, and cars... i remember working super hard on this fic in particular, and i think it paid off. all the "surprises"/cliffhanger type-things were something i put a lot work into. i think the writing quality of this fic is... halfway decent/pretty good... description was almost amazing, and dialogue was pretty good. conceptually, one of my best. this fic will always be special to me.

next would (maybe surprisingly?) be the mouth of the wolf, the eyes of the lamb. conceptually, i believe this is my best fic conceptually, which is why i chose it. i really don't think this shows my best writing at all (not even top 5 best writing) but i think i execute the CONCEPT well regardless! i did write it in pretty much one sitting because i was in the midst of burnout and i just got the idea and knew i had to get it out, so that's my excuse on the sub-par writing quality and possibly choppy plotline. it has pretty okay description, not bad dialogue. i definitely could've made it smoother. but in general, i just love the "lck mid holy trinity" of faker, showmaker, and chovy. i love lck midlaners so much. the idea of showmaker and chovy being kindred and faker the grey man descended upon me like a blessing from the gods. BY GOD DID I COOK. i didn't write a ton of au fics prior to this fic (ntm any fantasy aus), but i really should more. i love it so much, and i love the ending (which i wrote at like 4 am in the morning in a haze because i randomly thought of it half asleep!) i'm super proud of this conceptually and i need to write more lck mid fics in general (this time with scout too!?)

okay, i really wish i could count the busan boy series as one. but i cannot, so i am choosing and all of my dreams, they're growing lucid. despite it ill be talking about both fics in this section. i think this is my best work slash series of canon-compliant gumakeria i've written thus far--(i haven't written a ton since it came out, if at all, honestly). i feel like i really perfected their characterization here, over writing so much gumakeria. the reason i pick aaomdtgl over the beach is probably writing quality/skill. busan boy is by far my "favorite" of the two concepts, but it's lacking in execution, and it's noticeable especially in comparison to its sequel. the beach has okay writing, pretty decent description, and amazing concept. and all of my dreams has great writing, great description, and great concept. i was always grumpy the beach got so much less attention than and all of my dreams, but... i guess it's for a reason, lol (also bc its um. SAD! they LOSE!). (please go read the beach if you haven't though... i do love that fic so, so much.) also stream niki and the neighbourhood... read! my first songfics i guess, i just love those two albums. also i was a tad bit insane for these two fics--i wrote the beach because i was like, worlds in Korea? lets win. time to write losing in Korea fic first to set up for it. then i wrote a large percentage of and all of my dreams before t1 even won worlds because i was so sure of it. 2023 gwen was insane.

lastly is don't blame me. this is largely because of concept, because the writing is ass. don't blame me was my second published fic, so that's my excuse. the writing IS bad, i was waltzing along lacking in skill... yeah. the prose is so short and empty and fucking hell i could nitpick all day. i guess it sort of fits the fic?? (no im lying to myself lol it just sucks.) the description is meh, the dialogue gets the point across. but CONCEPTUALLY... the fic eats! it slays! demon keria yes pls! good job 2023 gwen! you did slay! my au fics do slay, and i had so much fun with this. i really fell into the rabbithole of league lore... god i love it so much. it's just so fun to write. and the ending! i love the ending a lot and i just like the tone and mood of the fic. i mean, its chilly, a little haunting... im not sure. dbm still has unwritten sequels LMAO i may or may not choose to write... i want to, but it's been a long time... i guess only time will tell.

so... yeah! that'd be my list. if you're interested in hearing why i DIDNT include some (one) fic, keep reading :] (wjnstt was the only one i wanted to address.)

now i think the main question to myself when choosing was... do i include we just need some time together or not? i know its a rather popular fic of mine, but i nixed it in favor of dbm i guess because i prefer dbm. and in terms of canon compliant gumakeria, busan boy clears it and does it a whole lot better in everything (characterization, writing quality, dynamic, everything). i don't... like wjnstt, not really. i mean, i haven't read it in a long while, so i couldn't tell u if that's 100% accurate of a conclusion, but. it was the first fic i ever started writing, and you can TELL. hoo boy writing quality be IN THE GUTTER. oh my GOD. to be fair, again, i haven't read it in a while so my judgment is probably a bit skewed/i could be misremembering. but i haven't reread it because IM SCARED OF IT. IM GOING TO GET SO MUCH SECONDHAND EMBARASSMENT AND CRINGE AT MYSELF OH GOD. ITS SO ASS. FUCKING HELL. my characterization is kinda ass (all of the characters), my writing quality/skill is unpolished... so many things. my description is okay... meh... i guess. my dialogue is probably the best part of the fic, and that's only halfway decent. but at the same time, i remember pouring my heart into this fic. i really do. conceptually, i think it was okay, and i remember it meaning a lot to me. i guess i just... sort of grew up and out of it. i mean, its been two years, pretty much. i wrote it in the midst of a bad depression slump, and i was younger, and... a lot changed since then, bascially. okay maybe i should reread it. fuck. we'll see i guess. i have a love hate relationship with this fic, that's all ill say for now. it'd probably make... top 6 or top 7. yeah. not sure. not top 5 though, sorry.

anyway, thank you so much for the question again op, and i'm so sorry for the late reply! and for yapping. i yapped a lot. hopefully you liked reading it though. much love, hope you have an amazing day, and let's gear up for worlds semis this weekend!!