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lavendermunson · 4 months ago
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it's ruining my life - steve harrington
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chapter 7 of miss americana and the heartbreak prince
summary Steve finally accepts all the mistakes he has ever made and it's in a journey to fix them.
cw mentions of insecurities, jealousy. alcohol consumption.
w.c 3.0k
a/n Steve centered chapter. there's poorly baseball descriptions, i tried! i promise!
series masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter (soon)
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Steve’s ego has been buried down. Buried down seven feet deep with no sign of returning. It has been the most difficult week for him. 
No matter how much he runs, how many pounds he carries, or how many hours he trains, he can’t get out of this hell called overthinking. His new teammates have seen it, his coach knows. He isn’t well. But he is a star, he will recover. He has too. 
That happens to the best ones too. 
Avoiding the many calls of Hopper and hesitating to read the cards his mom sends. He lays on his brand new apartment’s bed, a bed so big he gets terrified of the empty space that lies between him and his phone. He has been waiting for one call, yours. But how could you call when he finished all of this? When he isn’t capable of confronting his emotions and “man up”, as his father used to say. 
He gets tormented every night, going to sleep isn’t any better because he sees you in his dreams. But you aren’t happy, you are crying. It’s like he knows what’s going on even if he’s on the other side of the country. He misses you and he hates feeling this. He hates how he pushes everyone he loves away from him because he is not okay. Steve has never felt so much love, such a pure and kind type of love. It’s not in his blood, it’s not within his family’s principles, it simply doesn’t exist. Love, he even fears the word but he knows he feels it. For you. 
You. You are so beautiful, so bright. How could he ruin you? How could he invade your personal space and shatter everything that you treasure. He feels like the villain in a story where the only solution is to disappear, far away from you, from all of this. 
When his thoughts get so loud his head is spinning, he calls in some of the local food restaurants until he finds one open. Fortunately for him, one answers and he fills his order as he sits on his bed with an empty stomach. To spend the time waiting for his food, he reaches for the remote and turns on the TV. Switching through uninteresting channels he finds one. “Gossipy” is a podcast hosted by the most selfish and rude people he has ever met. But sometimes it’s fun to know some of the celebrity dramas. 
As the voices of the hosts fill his empty room, he goes to the door for his food and comes back. Taking a bite of his donut, he sits in front of a familiar face glowing on the TV.
You. 
You are in the arms of another man. Drunk. Mascara smudged around your eyes. Your signature lipstick is wearing off. 
Did you kiss him? Did you go home with him? 
Steve’s heart starts to pound against his chest. He is jealous, but even more, he is worried and almost disappointed. This isn’t you. Where is the sweet girl he met? Where’s the girl who hugs her young fans with such delicacy? Who treats her friends like the most important thing in the world? 
Did he break you? Did he push you into this dark hole? 
He changes the channel quickly, their harsh worlds still running through his mind. Steve takes his phone and gets on social media, he doesn’t use this much because he doesn’t really know how. But he remembers one or two things Nancy taught him, and that’s enough to find the most horrible comments towards you. 
No, no. This can’t be real. Wake up. 
The media is destroying you. Calling you names and filling your comments with snakes. Most of the comments are fans of Henry, watching how you make your way around their man. Commenting on every inch of your face, every part of your body.  
The cherry on the cake? Someone posted a picture of you with Henry, no text, no explanation. Just him kissing your cheek with his arm around you.  
Steve sees everything and gets so terrified. This isn’t you, you are not acting like yourself. Where’s Robin? Where’s your family? Why are you alone? 
He spends the rest of his night thinking. You are just like him, pushing people away when it gets too difficult. It’s a shame, really. He feels so guilty for doing this to you. When Steve finishes his nightly routine, he plugs his phone to the wall and checks his alarms. He wishes he could talk to you in your dreams, telling you this is wrong. Telling you that he is sorry. Wishing you weren’t so alone, wishing you weren’t acting like he does. 
_
The next morning is Steve’s fourth game. He gets on the field with sweaty palms and an awful headache. The usual since he joined the team. 
The next few minutes start to go by quickly, the teams are tied in points and he hasn’t managed to make any home runs.
It’s his turn to bat. He starts shivering, cold sweat running down his body. As the crowd goes silent, he grips the bat strongly on his hands, focusing on the pitcher who slowly lifts his leg, throwing his body to the side. He feels how his breathing quickens, his sweaty palms betray him and when the ball hits his bat the ball goes all the way up. He starts running as if he were on autopilot, flashes of your face show as he blinks. His legs feel heavy, and his head is spinning. 
He stops feeling the rush. The adrenaline. The love. He used to love this game, he used to love being on the field. It was his first love, until you came. 
You filled his world with joy, soft kisses and glitter. For him was more than enough, being in your arms and feeling safe. Feeling loved back genuinely. 
And know that it’s all gone, he wants that back. This is why he is failing at everything, this is why he broke your heart. Because he was incapable of making sacrifices, but now he understands he has to risk everything for the hope of it all. 
He manages to score another point, running as fast as he could even if he didn’t realize it. The rest of the game went with ease and his team won. But he doesn’t feel like a winner, not until he makes everything right. 
__
“I thought I wanted this. I thought it was for me because i’ve been feeling like the king of this fucked up world but i don’t know why im doing this anymore.”
The next morning, he decided to open all of his mom’s cards. Some are happy, some aren’t. But in the last card his mom writes to him about her divorce from his dad and how much she misses Steve. He was brave enough to add her contact to his number and finally have a quick chat. 
He was anxious at first, he had to call more than three times to reach her but he did nonetheless. 
“You need a break, son. Look at you, have you been sleeping well?” She asks, her voice so sweet as when he was a kid. 
“I haven’t. I can’t do it, I don’t know what’s wrong with me”
Her mom’s brows knit in a frown, lips pushing down pouting. It hurts to hear him like this. 
“You said you’ve read all my cards but I know there is something you don’t want to see. Steve, you need to let people love you. You need to learn that they are ready to sacrifice everything for you and then you need to do so too. I’ve seen you go around with girls but i’m sure there’s one that makes you feel like you are loved and they care for you”
Steve nods. Knowing his mom is right even if she doesn’t know all the details about his life. 
“You need to accept that you are capable of loving and being loved. That you deserve it more than anyone else. You love the kids, you love your friends, and you love Hopper and they haven’t hurt you once but I know you’ve had. This is something your father used to do, and I'm not comparing you to him. A lot of people may do it too.” Her voice is soft even if she’s saying everything that Steve has been thinking for the past few days. “ But it’s not too late, allow yourself to feel it. Let them know that you love them. Let everyone know that they can be safe around you, that you are grateful for making you feel safe too.”
He nods again. A tear was running down his cheek. 
“Thank you, mom. This, I've been needing this for a long time” he smiles, looking at his mom through his phone. “I’m going to send you some tickets, so you can come and visit me? Is that okay?”
“I want nothing but to hug you, my boy.” 
“I do too mom. I love you” Steve whispers, his tears now blurring the picture of his mom on his phone. “I have to go, but i’ll pick you up from the airport and then we go to eat, then you can meet the team and have a tour of the stadium.”
“I love you more, Steve. I can’t wait to see you.”
He waves as she waves back, blowing kisses to him. When he hangs up the phone he takes his bag and goes down to the gym in his building. 
He is going to fix everything. Or at least try. 
“And that’s pretty much all, I've spent the last week here and I still feel like I'm new. In some way i don’t belong here”
Steve had shown his mom the stadium, the place where he spends most of his time. It was the place he dreamed to be, the place he wanted to call home.
“You had to make some changes, it’s normal to feel so distant from what you knew. But it’s amazing, everything you have done is amazing.” Steve’s mom reaches his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. He is getting used to having her close again.
“You are amazing too. You are so brave for leaving him, i have been waiting my entire life to see that happen.”
“It isn’t easy, like you, I was comfortable back there because it was what I knew. I’m also afraid of the unknown, which doesn’t go away with age. You have to jump into the adventure to see what will happen, time passes anyway.”
Steve gives his mom a gentle hug, then he takes her hand and guides her to the parking lot. He organized a little reunion with all his friends at his new house. The kids, Nancy, Eddie, Hopper. He will be surrounded by everyone he trusts and loves. It’s time to give them what they deserve.
“Welcome everyone, come in!” Steve receives everyone at his house, two of his favorite private chefs handled all that has to do with food while he got the best wine and his favorite whiskey. Some soda for the kids too, since they can’t drink yet. He greets every single one of them with a hug, a smile on their faces as they see Steve look so happy. Even if they know he isn’t entirely happy.
As they make their way into the house, running to all the rooms, watching the fireplace that has yet to be used, the large backyard with a small basketball court. The kids run around while Eddie, Hopper Joyce sit at the table and Steve serves them their drink of choice.
The doorbell rings and Steve gets goosebumps. He runs towards it and sees Nancy, with Robin tugging around her. He hugs Nancy for a moment and welcomes the couple into his house. When Robin passes by him she nods, and he does the same as a silent understanding that both of them will behave even if there’s some tension between them and a subject in common.
When everyone seats at the table, Steve introduces them to his mom, and they all welcome her with the same love they have for him. He is happy to see his family reuniting again. A family that’s not entirely by blood, but they are bonded for the love they have to each other.
“Before we eat I wanted to say something to you. I know i haven’t been so present in your life lately, i know i’ve made some mistakes and it felt like we were growing apart but the truth is i was having a hard time accepting that i'm a sensitive person. I was having a hard time knowing I care about you all and I'd do everything for you to keep the smiles on your faces. Recently I got my mom back, which is a great step and now I want to tie us together as strongly as I can. I don’t want to let you down again when you've done everything to support me.” He raises his glass of wine, and everybody takes their drinks in their hands. “I want to make a toast to you, to thank you and to say… that i love you with all my heart." He looks around the table, everyone he loves is here. He looks at the kids, how much they’ve grown. He looks at Hopper, who has been his support system even if he is a little bit more strict. He looks at Eddie, his best friend who always knocks some sense into him. He looks at Nancy, his soul sister, who he loves so dearly. He looks at Robin, who he is ready to welcome to the family. There’s no empty chair at the table but it feels like there’s a giant gap, a big hole in his heart. He wishes you were here, he really does.
They all had a great night, the food was delicious, the laughs weren’t missed and the house felt so warm in the company of everyone. The kids go to pick their rooms for the night, staying there until the weekend to see Steve play again. Hopper goes home to prepare for a meeting tomorrow. Steve’s mom goes to sleep. Eddie, Nancy and Robin stay outside in the backyard to smoke and talk.
Steve passes on the joint, he needs to clear his mind.
“You know, I'm worried about her too and I miss her too. Her parents are too, but she doesn’t let them in. She doesn’t let me in. I can’t reach her and it’s messing up with my head” Robin confesses to Steve as Nancy and Eddie talk about something else.
Steve snaps out of his thoughts, he feels the same but he is the last person you want to see.
“I don’t know what to do. I feel like i’ve lost her forever.”
“That’s not true” Robin looks at him, his stare so heavy on him that he starts to feel tiny. “She has never looked at anyone the way she looks at you, she has never felt so much love like this, she is just scared. Because she always gives her hundred percent, and most of the time she doesn't even get the bare minimum. What you did was a mistake, and leaving her like that was the worst thing. But I just know that she has made these mistakes because she doesn’t want you to feel like you are the only one who can misbehave.”
“I know. I saw it. I made the worst mistakes, and i admit it, it’s fucked. I had to be there with her and not let my ego get in the way. I just—” he lets out a deep sigh. “I felt so intimidated because she is what I want to be and I never got it. I want to be loved, respected, I want people to see me as an icon, I want the fame she has, the spotlight she has. But when I met, I swear, it was like it was the two of us on this planet, and I was okay with that. And sometimes i knew i didn’t have to be okay with that because i wanted to show other people that I’m the best, i wanted to tell my dad the biggest fuck you ever. I wanted to be everyone’s favorite person, I wanted to prove wrong to everyone that has underestimated me.” Nancy and Eddie join the conversation, Steve looks at the three of them with tears in his eyes. “But none of that matters now, I love the sport, but I feel empty when I step on that field. There’s nothing like being in her arms, like being in her spotlight. I just want her, I love her.”
“Then you know what to do,” Nancy says.
“Go get her, big boy,” Eddie adds.
“Can you take care of the kids while I'm gone? I’ll make it up to them, I swear.”
“You don’t have to. They understand, they support you." Nancy hugs Steve, and Eddie joins them, a few seconds later Steve reaches for Robin and she joins the hug.
Everything will be alright.
Steve knew that somehow he caused this. Somehow it’s his fault and it’s going to fix it, so he took the next plane to L.A. without even packing his bag but with all his emotional luggage and his nerves blossoming. 
Steve was addicted to his phone at this point. Scrolling through thousands of posts about you, when out on a party, you started to yell at the paparazzi to leave you alone, and it was everywhere. All the people calling you a brat or a diva. This was so unlike you, you were the sweet and calm girl everyone wanted to follow. 
He has to fix it. He was able to reconnect with all the people he loves, and there’s still time to get you back.
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tags @eddiesguitarskills @hipsternerd9 @afraidofshrimp @rexorangecouny @crowssixof @wiltedflowerz-blog @keerysfolklore @micheledawn1975 @thxtmarvelchick @kriitiihere @kitdjarin1 @peculiarwren
thank you for the support!! (comment if you want to join the tag list!!)
I hope you like this series, feedback is appreciated! don't forget to REBLOG TO SUPPORT THE AUTHOR! ♡
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lavendermunson · 4 months ago
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with a broken heart - steve harrington
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chapter 6 of miss americana and the heartbreak prince
summary after all the hard work one night can potentially ruin everything
cw reader gets distracted with an older man sorry mentions of alcohol, the usual heartbreak
w.c 2.5k
a/n all im saying is… she’s in her rep era in this chapter?
series masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter
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You dance while cooking in the kitchen, and music playing softly in the background makes you so relaxed. While checking the pots and shredding the cheese to add to your pasta, the door rings, and you run towards the door.
"Hey, beautiful, I missed you.”
Steve hugs your waist and lifts you with a strong grip around your body. You’ve been feeling so alone without him, but you know it’s going to be a couple of busy weeks for him. He leaves pecks on your cheeks and puts you down so he can see your face, his palms cup your cheek, and he presses his lips against yours, not once, not twice but three times.
“I missed you too, c'mon, let’s celebrate!”
He joins you in the kitchen, helping you carry all the plates and food to the dining room and you get a special bottle of fine wine to celebrate with him. You two eat dinner while talking about your day. You tell him how much you want to go back on tour but you’ll miss him so much, and unfortunately, he can’t join you.
You spend the night drinking wine, eating, and talking. It’s so mundane, it’s something that you do with other people, but this time it feels so special. He rubs your hand and takes a sip of wine. Looking at you with that shine in his eyes, you feel so lucky to have him, and he does too.
He takes your hand in his and tugs it softly so you join him, closer. You sit on his lap, tangling your arms around his neck and kissing his face. Steve closes his eyes, letting himself fall in the moment and enjoying how your body presses against his.
“I’m so proud of you, I know you’ll have so much fun” you whisper, your words tangling his skin as you softly nip his earlobe.
“Baby–” Steve lets out a groan, pressing his fingers against your naked thighs and rubbing them slowly.
His touch makes your body fill with electricity, and his hands search for the wet patch between your legs and slowly tease your clothed clit with his finger.
“I can have fun anywhere-“
The alarm goes off, and another night having the same dreadful, hopeful dream. You were so tired, it’s been a week since you've seen him, and you knew it was time to do something about it.
You felt miserable, you kept doom scrolling on your phone and “accidentally” stalking him. You watch gossip accounts from time to time, seeing him in the arms of different girls, and it's funny how they all look like you in some sort of way.
You don’t know if you want him back, but you know this feeling has to stop.
Funny enough, your new album is almost ready. It’s a new thing, you’ve had fun experimenting and finding a new tone. It’s a mix of heartbreaking songs and ballads full of rage, with lyrics that had you mark the words in your notebook so much they bled through the page.
There’s still a week left until you start the next leg of your tour, and you are excited to go back and feel some type of love again. You’ve forgotten what that feels like.
You glance at your phone, it’s 9:00am, just in time for attending that painting class you’ve been taking to distract yourself. Your screen glows with all the unanswered calls and notifications from Robin, Steve and your team.
There has been times when you can handle even the hardest and most strange things that have come in your way, but right now your head is in a flight or fight mode and the usual answer is flight, get away from everyone, set the attention on yourself and maybe you’ll be better. Maybe you’ll start to sleep more than three hours, your skin will stop breaking out, the bags on your eyes will disappear.
But that’s just a maybe, and as your cat jumps out of your bed it’s time to get going.
_
Painting class was fine, it wasn’t a big group and everyone there didn’t really know you. They knew your name but you weren’t close to them, just a couple of brunches and coffee shops here and there.
“Hey! We are going to Mika’s birthday party in case you want to join us” Charlie asks, she’s been one of your favorite people to hang out with even if you aren’t best friends, you still have fun around each other. And what’s more fun than a party full of models?
“I’d love to!” you reply, smiling at her while you pack your things. She’s the one who introduced you to this painting class, and it has been a real change in your life. Connecting with your creative side in a way you’ve never imagined.
“I’ll text you the details, see you soon, babe!”
She blows you a kiss in the air and you do the same, closing your backpack and going out to the back door.
After you got the details to the party, you decided to get ready. The best way to spend the night was in a tiny black dress. The revenge dress. It hugs your body perfectly, showing off your best features and making you feel so sexy and so confident.
As you arrive at the party, everyone starts to welcome you with a bright smile, hugs from some of the models you know and appreciate, they’ve made you feel so included. A thing that didn’t happen so often, you felt so safe and so free. No attachments, no one talking your ear off about how great you are or how jealous they are of you. No negativity, no side eyes, or weird envy looks, just people you can hang out with and drink as if tomorrow will never come.
You ignore another call from Robin and join the group of girls at the bar.
“The first round is on me!” you shout over the music, they all applaud as you get closer to the bar and order a round of tequila.
As you wait for your drinks, a tall figure comes to you. It’s none other than Drew, an actor who has enormous talent and a big career in Hollywood. He is tall, handsome, famous, and a bit older than you.
“Thank you” you shout at the bartender, getting your shots and walking to your table, not after winking at Drew and giving him a smile. He does the same and watches you from afar.
“Sweet! Let's celebrate this birthday the right way!” Mika says, all of you raise your tiny glasses in the air and cheer for the birthday girl before drinking.
The first shot sits just right, it burns your throat as it travels down, and the taste leaves you dreaming of more.
“Another one! another one!" All the girls chant. Charlie goes for the second round, the third, the fourth.
At this point you’ve lost count of how many shots you’ve taken, but it doesn’t matter. You have everything you need, your girls and good music to sway your hips to.
You are on the dance floor, as the dj plays Mika’s favorite songs, and you find a liking for them. They are fast paced, not like your regular songs, they are more disco like with a heavy beat and lyrics that give you even more confidence. This night is perfect.
“Is it me, or Drew has been watching you all night?” Charlie says it in your ear, and you turn around to watch him.
“It’s just you,” you reply.
“If I were you, I'd take the shot. I don’t mean this one” she points at the cup on her hands. “Or maybe do both, you’ll need it”
You’ve drunk enough, but your body yearns for more. It’s the same with the attention, you knew he had been watching you all night, and you’ve been dancing provocatively to catch his attention. You could feel his heavy gaze on you and see the way he was undressing you with his eyes. It felt good, risky, and so...
“Is there something in my face?” You say as you meet him over the bar, he is drinking whiskey, and suddenly your mind starts to play tricks on you.
“No, nothing wrong I mean. You have a beautiful face.”
You giggle like a teenager, finding the seat next to him without ever breaking eye contact. He turns to the side to have a better look at you.
“You have a beautiful face too, i’ve seen it on the big screen.”
He laughs, and his voice is even deeper when he does that.
“You are funny," he says as he finishes his whiskey, leaving the glass on the table and getting closer.
You let him. Because he smells like something you know, but he feels like an entire new world.
“What are the odds of us meeting here? both alone and waiting for a good time?” he says, his voice so deep it charms your socks off. “Do you believe in destiny?”
“I believe in having fun, do you want to dance?” You ask him, forgetting everything he said earlier.
“I don’t dance, but I like to watch,” he confesses.
“Suit yourself,” you shrug, threatening to walk away from him if he doesn’t stop you. As if he were reading your mind, he touches your shoulder ever so slightly, but it feels like a million fires.
“Wait, i’m a terrible dancer, but i’ll try for you”
And there he is. At your feet.
“Join me, handsome” Something very deep inside you hurts at the nickname, but the alcohol and the smell of his cologne blur the feeling.
Your dance moves wear the alcohol off, you start to feel the pain on your feet, and your arms are completely sore.
“Someone is tired, maybe I can drive you home?” Drew says, he has been dancing with you for more than an hour.
“Oh” the way he looks at you, the smell of his cologne, and the way his body starts to warm you when he gets closer. “I’d love that.”
"Goodbye, babes, thank you for coming!” Mika gets closer to you, she helps you get in your coat and joins her boyfriend.
“Bye bye, love you,” you say, as Drew keeps his eyes on you. He takes your purse and then your hand, leading you to the door but he sees you struggling.
“Are you alright? Do you need me to carry you?” he asks.
“My feet hurt but i can handle it, don’t worry,” you reassured.
“Not on my watch, let me help you.”
You nod, he gets ever closer as he gets behind you and lifts you up from the ground. He carries you bridal style and you start to giggle, he finds it adorable and grins at you.
You feel like you’re in the clouds. The amount of attention, the mischievous feeling of care and love. You’ve just met him, and he looks good, he smells good, and he’s so, so strong.
As you get to the door, a couple of flashes come your way, you hide your face in the crook of Drew’s face and he starts laughing as your breath tickles on his skin. He hurries up to his car and helps you get on the ground, then on the car.
You forget who you are in the moment, and you lean up to kiss him while the flashes go on.
He drives you home, as he promised.
“We arrived,” he says, looking at you, with that same grin from before.
“Thank you for driving me home, it’s been nice to meet you and dance with you,” you smile.
“It’s been my pleasure, honey.”
You blush for the first time that night, the heat catches up on your cheeks. It’s crimson red the way he looks at you.
He starts to lean in, you do the same. His lips brush yours as he whispers, “You are so beautiful” His lips meet yours in a coordinated dance, and that’s when he loses you.
You remember, you remember everything. That night in the backyard, that night at the concert, that day at the little farm, that day at your house.
He’s always on your mind. His silhouette, his raspy voice, he comes to you as a ghost. The remnants of whiskey, he tastes just like him, just like your Steve. Even though he is not yours anymore, He is wandering around with a different girl a day, and you feel so replaceable, so hurt.
Drew’s hands press on the back of your neck, pulling you closer.
“Touch me,” you whisper.
His hands travel down your ass, where he squeezes and pinches with such intensity. But it doesn’t feel like him, it doesn’t feel like Steve because he is not Steve.
He is not the one you want, he is a vessel for something you yearn for every day.
You stop moving your lips, squeezing his bicep as you push him back to his seat. Suddenly, you feel tired, and a headache starts to grow. Your head falls to the side, resting on his shoulder.
“Are you alright, honey?” he asks, caressing your ass delicately.
“I’m, i think i should go”
You take your stuff with you, hand on the door and taking all your bottled feelings with you.
“Sure, i’ll walk you to the door” he says, fixing his jeans to hide his hard on and taking the keys off the ignition.
“No, I'm fine. I’m only tired and i have an early meeting tomorrow.”
You lie—anything to get out of his car right now.
“Can we see each other again?” he asks, breaking into your head and interrupting your pool of thoughts.
“Yes, i’ll dm you” you answer, but as you look at him, his confused face makes you giggle again.
“What’s dm you?”
“Very funny, good night,” you say, fixing your dress and ready to get out of the car.
“Can I get your number?” he asks, his voice softly pleading to you.
“Oh, you don’t know what a dm is?”
“I’m old, honey”
“Right, i’ll give you my number. You can text me, and we can hang out again”
You extend your hand, and he quickly understands, he gives you his phone so you can save your number in his contacts.
“Did we just hang out?” he asks as you type your name on the screen, you write your name without a single heart or smile. Your interest in him seems to vanish as his cologne isn’t so strong anymore.
“A little,” you shrug, handing the phone back he takes it without stopping looking at you.
“Alright, i’d love to do it again then”
“Goodnight, thank you for the ride” You kiss his cheek and wave at him as you get to your door.
He waves back at you and puts the key back to the ignition. You open the door of your home and get in.
As you get ready to bed you start thinking about Drew. Is it bad you used him as a distraction? Do you really want to see him again?
You take off your makeup feeling like something is missing, apart from Steve and now Robin. You are forgetting something but you can’t wrap your head around it. You put on your pajamas, the worries will have to wait until the morning.
As you go to sleep, you look at your ceiling. “Steve, please stop haunting my dreams” you whisper.
And on the other side of the country, he does the same thing. Wishing you were by his side and he wasn’t such an idiot.
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i wanted to cry with this one because i’ve been through hanging out with someone because i missed someone else and it’s so unfair and heartbreaking ):
tags @eddiesguitarskills @hipsternerd9 @afraidofshrimp @rexorangecouny @crowssixof @wiltedflowerz-blog @keerysfolklore @micheledawn1975 @thxtmarvelchick @kriitiihere @kitdjarin1 @peculiarwren thank you for the support!! (comment if you want to join the tag list!!)
I hope you like this series, feedback is appreciated! don't forget to REBLOG TO SUPPORT THE AUTHOR! ♡
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lavendermunson · 1 year ago
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Little secret, big secret - steve harrington
chapter 2 of miss americana and the heartbreak prince
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summary The little secret it's not so little anymore since you tell your best friend. She gets to the questioning part but you can't focus on anything else but Steve.
tags famous!singer!reader and famous!baseball-player!steve. Robin, Nancy, and rockstar!Eddie make their appearance! the only warning is consumption of alcohol again, they are adults 'kay.
w.c 2.7k
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When Sunday comes, you sit in the living room of your house in LA. A generous bowl of ice cream, complete with crushed cookies and whipped cream, sat before you while the tv showed the sports channel. You couldn’t quite call yourself a sports fan, but there’s a reason you are tuned in – you wanted to see his face again.
Pictures as nice as they were, simply didn’t do him any justice. You needed to see that genuine smile, and maybe, just maybe, when the camera focused on him, you could see that smile you liked so much. 
Friday night was one of the best nights in your life, for sure. But between all the giggles and your racing heartbeat, you’d forgotten to ask for his number. It’s the only thing you regret from that night. Because when you let your mind wander back to that backyard, your entire body quivered with excitement.
His lips are soft against yours. The whiskey lingered on his lips but he had a sweet natural taste. His hands are squeezing your face with just the right amount of pressure, sending you to the moon. You wished that night would have lasted forever.
As cheers erupted from the TV, you got out of your pool of thoughts as the game started. The stadium’s music fills the place as the teams line up to greet the crowd. The camera pans from the fans to the players, capturing their energy.
The announcer’s voice presents with enthusiasm to the MVP – “Most Valuable Player,” which you quickly deciphered. Perhaps you needed to get your hands on a baseball magazine to stop feeling so lost.
When the camera zooms in on his face, you see his big pretty smile. He waves to the crowd, everyone chants his name clapping and jumping. They love him, he is a big deal. 
His eyes make contact with the camera lens, and you blush, feeling he is watching directly at you. He waved at the camera, slightly winking. He winks at you, he knows you are watching.
“Good luck, Steve” you mumble, grabbing your bowl of ice cream and getting comfortable to watch the game. 
Your cat jumps at you, falling on your tummy and waking you up. You weren’t sure when you fell asleep, but you glanced at the TV, and the game was over. Steve’s smile is bright as he celebrates with his teammates - they have won.
You felt guilty for falling asleep, but thankfully the sports channel has a segment that analyzed the game's best moments afterward. So that’s what you focus on for now, watching Steve being a natural talent, swinging the bat like he is the king of the stadium while everyone is enamored by his smile.
Your phone dings for the first time in the night. You sigh, the bright screen a bit harsh on your sleepy eyes as you check the text from an unknown number.
unknown: “hey :)”
You try to guess who it is but nothing comes to mind. Your friends are all saved in your contact list, you haven’t made any friends recently. Then it hits you like a wave, it was him. You try to match his chill tone, hiding your excitement like a little kid on christmas.
you: hi, who are you?
unknown: did you see how I winked at you on tv?
you: oh, Steve. yes, I saw it!
You think about a clever way to save his contact before he responds.
you: if you couldn’t already tell… I blushed right away
little secret: Really?? I wish i’d see that, i like it when you blush
you: next time I will send you a pic, hope is not a big of a distraction :’)
little secret: Are you kidding? I was thinking about you all the time and i did good
you: I saw, congratulations! You are amazing!
little secret: Thank you, gorgeous. Hey, my team wants to go out for drinks but, can I see you over the week? 
His charm even shows over texts.
you: Sure, uh is this a date?
little secret: Absolutely, I have something in mind. I hope you are free on thursday
you: I am, see you then
little secret: Can’t wait, good night beautiful 
you: Goodnight, handsome ♡
You lock your phone after the text and lay back on the couch, holding your phone to your chest with the biggest smile on your face. You are going on a date, you haven’t been to one in a long time, it’s something exciting but also makes you nervous. You know you can't tell anyone about this, it has to remain a secret. But if anyone could keep a secret, it was your best friend, Robin.
You quickly send her a text, inviting her to your place tomorrow. She says yes, assuring you that she’d catch the next flight to LA as soon as possible. You’d mentioned you had good news and bad news about a boy, and she couldn’t wait to talk to you.
__
Robin was about to have a heart attack over the news. Her jaw nearly hit the floor and you remained frozen in your seat. She leaned in, placing her hands on your shoulders, giving you a swift shake. 
“This is fucking insane!”
“So?” you ask.
“I mean, everything sounds like something out of a movie and I didn't think you were into athletes? You only date actors mostly…”
“Robs” you interrupt her before she says something even more embarrassing than your dating life.
“Yeah, it’s great but you… are you sure of this? Can you keep it a secret when both of you are being constantly harassed by paparazzi? And are you sure it’s worth all the trouble? Are you sure that he is good for you and not just looking for his fifteen minutes of fame?”
All of these questions make your head spin. You didn't think about it like this. Like a serious thing. You were having fun texting Steve in the morning before you had to pick Robin at the airport. But she is right, all of this feels like it belongs to a movie. Deep down, you believe it could really work.
“No, that’s why we are keeping it a secret and I believe we can make it. He is a good guy, Robin”
“You have known him for what? Three days? How can you be sure? I don’t want to see you crying over a douchebag again”
And she is right again. Her lawyer-like ability comes in handy when she is giving you advice. You grew up together, both of you have a great career but she has never left your side and always supports you. As your best friend, she just wants to protect you too.
“I’ll take it slow. I will be so careful, I promise” You smile at her, and she hugs you tight.
“You have to think about it with the seriousness it requires”
“Can you stop talking like you are in a courtroom?”
She laughs. “Tell me you haven’t written a song about him”
You pulled away from the hug, gently. Your gaze falls over to your lap to hide your cheeks, which are tinted pink.
“Oh, you did… in two days?”
“I wrote it all at midnight and finished around two. I still need the melody”
“Your fans are going to go crazy when they find out��� She bumps your arm slightly with her fist.
“Now, what are we doing? There is a concert at night of that metal band you like”
“Corroded Coffin?” she shakes her head in disbelief.
“Yeah, them. Do you want to go? I can get special tickets” 
“Of course. I can get special tickets too”
“How?” you ask.
“I’m friends with the lead singer, I helped them with some legal issues. You know, rock stars and their passion for destroying hotel rooms”
“Then what are we waiting for? Let’s go!” you take her hand and lead her to your room, where you can get changed while dancing. You pop out a bottle of champagne to celebrate her company. You two are usually busy with work,  but it’s always good to see her.
The concert is great. It’s one of those private concerts, with no cameras, no obsessive fans taking thousands of pictures, and no one from the media. You enjoy the music as you sit next to Robin, who chats with Corroded Coffin’s manager, Nancy.
You want to ask for a fancy drink, not just a beer as usual. You watch the bottles of whiskey and just as magic, you hear a voice.
“Soft spot for whiskey?” He sits on a stool beside you and asks the bartender for two cups of whiskey.
“Steve!” your first instinct is to hug him, you throw your arms around his body and he wraps his on your waist.
“Hey, gorgeous. What are you doing in a metal concert?”
The bartender hands you both your drink, uninterested in your interaction and you keep your hands on Steve’s arms. 
“My friend-” you turn around but Robin is nowhere to be found. She’s probably somewhere with the band’s manager you met before. “She worked for this band when they had a problem with their hotel rooms”
“Yeah, typical rockstar shit” he laughs, drinking his whiskey and never taking his eyes off you. 
“What are you doing here? I thought you were resting,  you had a great game yesterday” 
He smiles as bright as ever hearing your praise.  “Thank you” he nods. “I’m friends with the lead singer, we used to go to high school together”
“Oh, you guys have been friends for a while?” 
“No, not at first, but now we’re pretty good friends. I’m glad he moved out of town and now he is a big star. He’s had this band since before we met, and  I’m proud of them” 
“You sound like a great friend. You are a big star too!” you tell him, taking a sip of whiskey to encourage you. 
“Look who's talking, the biggest star ever,” he chuckles, his hand finds the edge of your stool and pulls it closer to him. Your body loses its balance and Steve places a hand on your back to catch you. His arms are strong, and his touch on your body feels just right. He is looking at you like a masterpiece in a museum. 
You blush immediately, your heart thumps against your chest.
The music gets inevitably louder, you turn to watch the stage. Steve keeps his arm around your waist for the rest of the night. Everyone jumps and head bangs with the rhythm of the music, this is nothing compared to your shows. It’s a different energy, it’s good and it’s fun and it makes you laugh. Steve turns to see you smile, he grins and leaves a kiss on your cheek. 
Noticing no one is paying attention to you, you get brave and turn to kiss him. Your hand is pressed against his cheek while his lips move softly against yours, he squeezes your body with his arm pressing you against his chest. This is a different kiss, it’s quicker and it feels hotter.
Robin’s question lingered in your mind. Are you moving too fast? Is this going to work? But you know she had a point, you promised to be careful.
You break the kiss, leaning your forehead to touch his. His breath mixing with yours, he feels something is wrong but decides not to ask.
The place goes louder as Corroded Coffin finishes his shows, the lights go off and that’s when you get back to your seat. Steve decides it’s not really the place or time to talk about what’s going on. He’d figure it out soon, even if it meant losing some sleep over it.
“I have to go get my friend, it was lovely to see you again” You reach for his hand and he takes yours, giving a gentle squeeze. You get closer to his face as before, only to press a sweet peck on his cheek  “I’ll see you on Thursday, Steve”
The lights are now bright so people can find their way out. It makes both of you nervous that people can see you now. Steve doesn’t care much, getting close to you and leaving a peck on your cheek, just like you did. He hugs you wrapping his arms around your neck and getting close to your ear to whisper “Have a sweet night, beautiful” 
His soft but deep tone makes the butterflies in your stomach flutter. It was as if honey dripped from his mouth.
You smile as Robin gets to you, perfect timing. Steve walks off to join Eddie backstage, and you head home with Robin to have a perfect sleepover for old time's sake.
__
“Are you sure about this?” Nancy asks, as Eddie gets lost in his six pack of beer that some groupie left in his dressing room.
“I am! She is amazing and beautiful” Steve insisted. He knew he’d only officially met you for three days now, but he had had a crush on you for a long time. “I made a move, and things are moving swiftly”
“What’s wrong with that, Nance? Big boy is finding the love of his life!” Eddie helps Steve, trying to make him feel better. However Nancy keeps her arms crossed in front of her chest. He knows Steve has a big heart, but sometimes he can be so out of touch with his emotions, it tends to hurt people.
“Nothing is wrong if he’s sure he can take care of her,” she says, both of the boys in the room glance at their friend like little kids being yelled at by their mom. “And what is Hopper going to say about it? You know he doesn’t want you distracted from your games” 
Hopper had taken Steve under his wing, training him after he recognized Steve had talent. The four of them left behind so much in Hawkins to follow their dreams, they just can’t risk it. 
“He doesn’t mind. I’ll be okay, really” Steve tried to reassure them.
But Steve knows it is going to cost. Because his ego can get to him, he needs to be the best to show everyone he is capable of it. He likes the winning, the praise, the trophies. He couldn’t handle losing. He can’t afford getting distracted.
“And she is not just another girl in town for a one night stand” Eddie adds. “She is the prettiest, most loved, and most talented girl in… the whole world actually” 
Then there was you, the girl Steve had fallen for in just one night. The girl who had him waking up earlier than usual to send you a ‘Good morning, gorgeous’ text as soon as the sun peeks from his window. He loved it when your sleepy ‘Good morning, handsome ♡’ showed up in his notifications and he would reply as soon as he finished off with training at his home gym. 
God. It has happened one time and Steve wants it to be forever. But it would be so much better if instead of you waking up with a text, you wake up next to him. He can already imagine you sleepy face, your disheveled hair falling on your naked shoulders after a night of– Earth to Steve!
“Exactly, but only if the secret plan works. If this goes public and you hurt her, everyone is going to make your life miserable, starting with her best friend”
“Ooohhh, and that’s when we leave Big boy alone and focus on little Nance, getting a date with that fancy lawyer I see?” Eddie teases, Steve sighs in relief that the conversation shifted away from him.
“I do have a date with her. But Eds, please stop destroying hotel rooms” Nancy says, and Eddie couldn’t help but chuckle at their playful banter.
Steve laughs at his friends and how they start bickering, but an uncomfortable feeling of anxiety sits right in his stomach. This has to work, he better not fuck it up. He likes you, he wants you.
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tags @eddiesguitarskills (comment to join the tag list!!)
I hope you like this series, feedback is appreciated! don't forget to REBLOG TO SUPPORT THE AUTHOR! . ♡
if you want to collaborate and make a story about rockstar!Eddie in this universe you are more than welcome. I saw this idea a few weeks ago and I loved it
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lavendermunson · 1 year ago
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Gorgeous - steve harrington
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chapter 1 of miss americana and the heartbreak prince
summary you are on a break from tour and all of your plans get wrecked by a lovely baseball player.
tags famous!singer!reader and famous!baseball-player!steve. each chapter will have it’s own warnings, none for this one except consumption of alcohol. just pure fluff. i changed the name of the chapter sorryyyyy!!!! no use of y/n
w.c 2.2k
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You’ve reached the half of your tour, and Wednesday’s show was the most energetic. Now you find yourself yearning for some much needed rest during your month-long break. You can already picture yourself making a nest on your bed, doing nothing but sleeping and watching your favorite tv show.
Life takes unexpected turns, it’s Friday now, and one of your friends has invited you to a party. She said it wasn’t a ‘big thing’ but the house was full, the music wasn’t so loud and you wanted to thank the host for it. You miss your bed, and your cats, but it’s also nice to see some of your… friends. Not that you have too many, there’s always a struggle on trusting new people. 
You try to relax your shoulders as you make your way to the kitchen to get a drink. On your way, everyone keeps complimenting you about the successful tour you’ve had.
Since you started making music, the growth of your career has been massive. Rich and famous people often prioritize numbers and records, focused on ‘who does it first’ ‘who wins the next award’ and tons of material shit you don’t care about. You wish someone would appreciate your music as you’ve always seen it, art. It’s an extension of you, a way to feel yourself free while being connected with your fans through truthful and poetic lyrics.
The kitchen is empty, only two people hang around kissing and touching each other like they are invisible. Something in your body aches whenever you get to watch someone giving affection to their partner. It’s inevitable, you yearn for that.
Being a successful person does not always mean you get what you want in your personal life. Sure, you’ve had dates with interesting people but no one sticks around to see the true you. Most of the time they only want to hang out with you, have a date or attend an event only to get their five minutes of fame.
Now that you think about it, maybe you don’t have time to settle down with someone and that’s  disappointing, you really crave for someone to snuggle with and have a fun loving life. Dance around the kitchen, play around at the beach. 
It seems everyone has time for love but you. Everyone does the best, or worst, time on dates while your dates always have paparazzi and people at home watching the pictures, focusing on who you are dating instead of what you do, what you feel, and who you are. It’s more exhausting than performing love songs about fictional people that you’ve created in your head.
You wish your personal life was getting better as your professional life, tour, and travel days are planned, you always get your favorite breakfast, and the love that radiates from the fans makes you glow. It’s a different story when you’re alone in a hotel room, you start to feel like the loneliest person in the world. How can someone perform for 30,000 people and yet feel so alone five hours later?
Being on tour is exhausting, but for a couple of minutes on that stage, you feel powerful. It’s the safest place you have, for now.
You are in desperate need of the strongest drink you can get. So, you reach for a bottle but as you reach for it, a hand is pressed against yours. You gasp at the sudden touch and look up to see who it is.
Famous baseball player Steve Harrington appears from out of nowhere. The touch feels warm, you blush as he looks at you with a grin on his face.
“Soft spot for whiskey? This is my favorite one too” he says, your lips parted as you feel the heat on your face.
Keep. Yourself. Together.
“Uh…” you didn’t even realize it was whiskey, I just grabbed the first thing I could find” you confess, biting your lip as you miss the warmth of his hand. 
“You weren’t going to pour this fine whiskey on that red cup, were you?” a chuckle escapes from his lips. He is cocky, he grins like he is the king of the world, and you… you like it.
“I- I just wanted something stronger than this beer” You let the red solo cup on the table focusing on his movements.
“Let me handle this” he makes his way through the kitchen looking for a cup worthy of his favorite liquor. He manages to get one, it’s not the same one he hand-picked since the party started but he believes it’ll do the job. He adds a couple of ice cubes and pours the whiskey, just the right amount.
As he hands you the cup, your fingers briefly touch, sending shivers down your spine. You don’t know what’s got you so nervous, please, you are the queen of the world right now. 
“Thank you,” you say, taking a sip of the drink. As the liquor travels through your throat, you can feel it burn. It’s a feeling that leaves you pleased, this is exactly what you were looking for. “Wow, it’s delicious”
“I know, the best whiskey in this state,” he says. “I’m Steve Harrington, by the way,” he gets closer to you, his hand reaching out for yours.
You shake his hand, your cheeks feel hotter than ever. “Nice to meet you, I’m-”
“I know who you are,” he whispers, winking with a grin. Letting go of your hand he finishes his drink in a sip. He wipes the corner of his mouth and grabs the bottle of whiskey. “It’s too loud in here, do you want to join me in the backyard?" The house fills with voices as someone else arrives and everyone goes to the front porch to greet them.
“Sure” you nod, now holding your drink between your hands. You follow him to the backyard, small and shy steps– far from your usual confident self.
“Here, I grabbed this blanket earlier. You can sit with me” He offers you a spot on a blanket, sitting down and getting comfortable.
You take another sip of your drink, feeling the whiskey fade the nerves away. “It looks like you had this planned out” You leave your cup on the grass, letting the ice melt a while, to make it less strong. 
He laughs, looking at the stars in the sky. You get lost on his features. The way his nose is perfectly shaped, his eyelashes are long, the little freckles on his face lit up by the yellow little lights in the backyard. “I wanted some space. I have a game on Sunday and I got dragged to this party… I tend to just find a place for myself. It looks like you needed a break too”
You notice how his nose scrunches up when he mentions his game. You bet he didn't know that you were aware of his existence, but you did. It was impossible to dismiss him, he has been one of the biggest and most famous players since the season started. Your dad and your friends talk about him. On tour, some people on your team watch his games before the show since the games are early. His face covers some of the biggest places in the cities you visited on tour. 
“Is it a big game?” you curse yourself, of course it is. But you know nothing about baseball so he lets it pass. He looks at you with a sympathetic smile.
“It is, the team we are going up against is one of the best. I don’t tend to talk about it days before or I will get nervous” he confesses, leaning his head to one side and looking at you like you are the most beautiful jewel in the world.
“I don’t believe you” you laugh, shaking your head.
“What?”
“You, getting nervous. Your team has won over and over because of you, people on my tour team always brag about how you are the best”
Steve blushes at your words. He is fucking blushing and lets out a nervous but cute laugh.
“Don’t tell me you don’t get nervous after a show” his cocky grin comes back, you reach quickly for your cup to take a sip.
“I don’t,” you say.
He leans back, eyes wide. His lips parted in surprise.
“You don’t? How?” he asks.
“I do the same every night. It’s all choreographed, the one who is always nervous is my tour manager. But me. I don’t know” You let your head fall to look at the cup, and you shake it slowly so the ice cubes make a sparkly sound. “When I get on stage my heart just fills with warmth and I know there are people who are having the best time just because of me”
“That sounds very romantic” he searches for your face, and you look at him.
“It’s the closest I will ever get to romance” you sigh, feeling a sense of shared understanding.
“Hey, cheers to that!” he says.
“Cheers!” 
You clink your glasses together. The night slips away, accompanied by Steve, whiskey, and sharing stories.
He is sweet, he has a true passion for his job, loves his career, and his team. You didn’t like to talk about work, but what else would you talk about? Work consumes both of you, it's easy to realize that. He is in every poster, you are in every magazine. Social media is filled with pictures of you, good news, bad news, fake news. 
“It’s comforting to know someone is as married to their job as I am,” he says, his words slurred from the whiskey.
“I don't like to call it a work, it’s more like…” you begin.
“A dream come true,” he finishes for you.
“A dream come true, yes” You agree, feeling your head already spinning, the bridge of your nose hurting and your back giving up after sitting on the grass.
“Can I just tell you.. You are not what people say you are, well, not entirely” he says suddenly, whiskey doesn’t make Steve confident, it makes him dumb.
“What do you mean?” you worry, your body tensing in anticipation.  You’ve read all of the nasty things people have said about you, but it only hurts when it comes from someone you like or care about. Was he about to say something mean?
Steve could never say something hurtful. He respects people so he can be respected in return. He’s experienced the harshness of the media as well, he has somewhat of a bad reputation.
“You are an icon. But right now, you are just… you” he shrugs. “You look so unreal in those magazines and right now you look like a fire in a cold winter” he gets closer to you, and the gap between you disappears. “I mean, you are not just a record breaker, you radiate an energy that makes me... too comfortable for my liking”
“Are you…”
“I am serious,” he says, looking at your face, admiring all of your features. He knows you are cute, perfect, and talented. But now he realizes you are also sweet, you have a warm personality and a calm that surrounds you everywhere you go. “Talking to you made me forget everyone in the world knows my name, it’s like you are the only one who knows me”
“Like we know each other's little secrets?” you ask, reciprocating his feelings. Talking to him also made you forget about the millions of people who are listening to your music every night. That your face is on every little girls’ bedroom wall.
“Like we are each other’s secret” he whispers, so close his liquory breath tingles against your lips. “Can I kiss you?”
“Please” you whisper too, your entire body is burning. What you said earlier wasn’t a lie, you don’t experience romance very often.
“So cute and polite” he rests two of his fingers on your chin to bring you closer. Steve gently presses his lips to yours, moving them softly as you catch up with his movements.
The kiss is slow, but your heart is beating faster than ever. You only get this feeling when you are on stage, he only gets this feeling when he wins. 
His thumb slides to your neck as his fingers rest in your cheek. Your face is between his hands, and you could swear you see stars, a glowing pink aura surrounding the two of you. This feels too good to be true.
When air is needed, both of you separate from each other. You touch his arm to keep him closer as he looks at your face, lips puffy from kissing.
“Guys! Pizza is here” someone inside the house screams, the scent of greasy food making its way to you.
“I don’t know about you but I'm really hungry,” he says, getting up and offering you a hand to help you get up.
“Me too” Your cheeks are still pink, he notices and almost falls on his knees at how adorable you look. You take his hand and get up, your chest bumps against his. 
“There is one thing everyone says and it's that you are beautiful” he looks at you with his pretty brown eyes.
“Do you agree?” you ask.
“You are fucking gorgeous”
You laugh, getting on your tippy toes to leave a kiss on his cheek.
“We are each other’s little secret, remember?”
You nod in agreement, understanding the secret bond you now share. Steve smiles and drops your hand, disappearing into the house. You let out a big sigh, you are so going to make a song about this, but for now, it’s a secret you’ll keep locked away from the world.
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I hope you like this series, feedback is appreciated! don't forget to REBLOG TO SUPPORT THE AUTHOR! . ♡
DISCLAIMER. you already know who inspired this, I want to clarify i mean no harm for the people in real life and what happens in this is just inspired by them, it's not based on true events. comment to be part of the tag list!
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lavendermunson · 4 months ago
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you are going to hate me for a while with the next chapter of miss americana
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scroll down if you dare
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lavendermunson · 1 year ago
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GUESS WHAT PEOPLE… im finishing chapter 3 of miss americana and the heartbreak prince. im hopeful i will post it today!
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lavendermunson · 1 year ago
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WIP: part three of ma&thbp! ♡ he is so baby
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lavendermunson · 1 year ago
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cried while writing, you are going to hate me a little ):
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lavendermunson · 5 months ago
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say you’ll remember me - steve harrington
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chapter 5 of miss americana and the heartbreak prince
summary you love torturing yourself but after a certain visit, maybe you have faith in the way the universe works
cw angst, tv hosts are mean to reader, mentions of insecurity r cuts her hand (nothing scary), allusions to sex, all consensual.
w.c 2k & more to come!!!
a/n not proofread i was way too excited!!! read the end for more notes, i don’t want to spoil anything 🫠
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“Celebrities are always causing drama, it’s not the first time we've seen her cry in public and I’m sure it’s because of a boy again!”
“Uh, that’s harsh. But I get where you are going”
“Let’s be real, nobody would want to date her. She is too much, I’d feel like a toy being dragged around”
“Yes! When is she going to learn? If she wanted her life to be private she should’ve stayed home”
“She wanted the attention, you know her. Her album dropped two places on the charts”
“Tours. Maybe she will be retiring after all”
The loading circle shows in front of the video you were watching. The wifi is gone, now the only thing you can hear are footsteps getting closer to you.
“I told you to stop watching those videos or any kind of news,” Robin says, taking a seat besides you on the couch. Her arm rests over your shoulders.
“The wifi is gone” you sob, looking at her with glassy eyes. Her face looks blurry but you can feel her warmth.
“Yes. I unplugged that shit before you could watch or read something else” She offers you a hug and you accept, her arms wrapping your body as you sob. “Has he called?”
“Yeah, I put my phone on no disturb after the fifth call and hundreds of texts”
“He must be going crazy. I know you are upset and sad, but ghosting him it’s not the solution babe”
“Did you see the picture? Robs, they kissed”
You never saw this coming. Not with him, not from him. Not when it finally felt like you were feeling understood, free, and loved. Loved for who you are inside and not the person people see on camera.
Were you moving too fast? Did you feel into his lies? Was this all it was ever going to be?
Your mind has been clouded with questions all night, you barely got any sleep. Tossing your dress and jewelry around the room, rolling over the bed, and crying. Tears coming out non-stop.
“You need to talk to him. Please, just hear what he needs to say”
She is right. You have to talk to Steve, for now reply to one of his texts to let him know you are alive. Barely alive.
“I have a case to work on, please text me if you need anything” Robin kisses your head and gets up from the couch.
“Good luck, you are the best you know?”
“You are the best too, dinner together?”
You nod, watching her disappear through the door. You sit silently on your couch, crossing your arms in front of your chest and wishing you could dissolve into the fabric of your fluffy blanket. Your heart can’t take this, it’s too much pain, and you feel like an idiot for trusting someone you met not too long ago.
When you saw him for the first time, when you talked to him for the first time, when you kissed him for the first time… he didn't seem like a stranger, he never felt like one. You clicked instantly, you fell for his charm and his sugar-coated words. His soft touch, the light in his eyes.
Pain. You had to let this feeling go, it needs a new home and you know exactly how to deal with it.
——
Steve gets home from training, he played for the last time with his old team. He has to finish packing to move to Boston.
But even with his feet on the field, the dirt stuck to his face and old uniform. He couldn’t stop thinking about you. Thinking about the pout on your lips when he saw you, the pictures of you crying that made it to the newspaper. He hurt you, he didn’t know it until Eddie called him an idiot and Nancy explained everything to him. He does feel like an idiot, he shouldn’t have agreed with his PR team, and he shouldn’t have let that girl kiss him. She got what she wanted, she is moving to New York after signing with a model agency.
Every place he leaves, it’s a place that becomes cursed for Steve. It happened with Hawkins, it’s happening with California, and maybe it will happen with Boston too. Everything he does, he does it for himself. And he is tired of it, but he can’t let this part of him go, he can’t let his dreams halfway, and he can't let Hopper down.
He knows his dad watches his games, he knows it from his mom’s letters. The one he never replies to, he only reads them. He wants to show him he can do this by himself, that he never deserved him as a son, and that he is so much better than his dad.
But he feels alone too. He fucked up, big time. And you are not answering his calls, you are not reading his texts. He begs for you to talk to him, if you want to push him aside maybe he would accept it because he isn’t made for it.
He just wants to tell you how much he is sorry. How much he regrets it. He wants to look at you for the last time before moving all across the country.
——
The lights in your at-home studio are dim, and the air is thick with the scent of coffee and an aura of nostalgia. You are only accompanied by your guitar, a microphone, a notebook, a pencil, and your computer. The only things you need right now, your phone is still lost on the cushions of your couch, and you didn’t bother to plug the wifi again.
You’ve been strumming your guitar and writing on the empty pages of your notebook. So far you have the bridge, it was something you wanted to have first.
Feeling the worn out chords graze against your fingers, your hand dirty from the smudged pencil, and looking at your handwriting makes you feel at peace. It’s been so long since you’ve written a song. Sadness helps your thoughts turn into poetry.
You hug your guitar, feeling the sound of it so close to your chest. You start to play the song, half of it half finished, and demand a check before writing more. Sometimes new words come in the heat of the moment.
With every chord, you can revisit everything that’s happened. Some moments warm your heart, yet others are bittersweet. The melody is slow, it makes your heart ache and your eyes fill with tears. You take a deep breath before starting to sing, you are careful with your words but your voice isn’t there, you can hear yourself only whispering.
The bottled up emotions spill out from you, tears rolling down your cheeks. They drop on the turquoise guitar you’ve had since you started your career, the one who has been with you through highs and lows. The room resonates with melody, your soft whispered sobs as you get through the song.
The verses unfold, and the lyrics are vulnerable but it has your sparkle. Just like any of your songs. You are sure your fans will be able to witness the chaotic mess that’s in your head right now.
As the final chord fades away, you take a deep breath. You sit alone, with your guitar still in your arms. You are aware of it, you are alone but there is something you can do.
——
After plugging the wifi router again, you look for your phone in the living room but it seems impossible to find it. You can’t call yourself or wait for a notification because you left it on no disturb.
“Where are you?” You toss the cushions back, falling to the carpet. Your blanket flies away and it breaks the vase of flowers you had on your coffee table. “Fuck!” You scream, dropping your knees to the carpet and getting the pieces of glass off the floor before your cat comes back from your room and steps on it. One of the pieces slides from your hand leaving a cut, you pick it up again and walk towards the kitchen.
You take an old piece of cloth to wrap the pieces of glass, making a little bag for them before throwing them in the trash. A trick your mom learned to prevent more accidents, especially when you aren’t the one to take the trash out.
You press your hand against the other, stopping the blood from dripping to the floor and as you get to the stairs your doorbell rings. You lean your head to the side confused, it hasn’t been long since Robin left but maybe she finished earlier and she can help you clean your mess up.
You walk to the door, swinging it open and when you see him you gasp.
“Steve?”
“Are you okay? You are bleeding!”
“Oh yeah, it’s nothing”
“It doesn’t looks like nothing, let me help you”
He closes the door behind his back, letting himself to your house. You don’t protest, just walk towards the stairs to get to your bathroom.
“What happened? I saw your living room all upside down”
“I lost my phone, I broke the vase and I cut myself”
When you get to your bathroom, you take the first aid kit out and Steve takes it. You haven’t looked at him since he got here, too afraid to do it so you keep your head down.
He couldn’t do the same, he was searching for your eyes the whole time. He starts to take care of your wound, rubbing it with a cotton ball wet with alcohol. It makes you hiss, he mutters an apology and continues.
When the band-aid is finally on your skin, covering your wound. He squeezes your hand gently. You watch the kittens that decorate the band-aid, feeling Steve’s gaze buried in you.
“Can you look at me? Please, it’s killing me” He whispers.
You lift your head, your eyes are glassy again. Your chest rises up and down.
“I’m sorry,” he says. Taking a deep breath, he doesn’t get too close to you or even touch you. But he captures you against the sink, your body between his arms with no way to escape. “My PR team told me it was better to take a date, I guess you’ve seen the pictures and I want to clarify all of this. She kissed me, I pushed her away. She got what she wanted, it was only for the night, you know it’s part of the job."He feels his cheeks warm, and you stare at him with sadness in your eyes and he swears he can hear your heart breaking. “I think I’m not made for this. I’m sorry”
“Steve-”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, baby. I need to work this out, I swear I’ll be better at this but right now I can’t… I can’t be with you” his eyes turn glassy too, tears threatening to spill. “Not right now, I need to fix this mess in my head and i need to be better for you”
“You don’t have to apologize, i know things can be hard in this fucked up world we live in. If you want time, i can give you some time”
“What i want is you, i’m never going to forget you”
——
The heaviness of your sleep is starting to fade off, your eyes feel heavy as the sun hits your face. You open your eyes to see your cat at the end of the bed and smile at it, then you turn around to throw your arm over someone’s shoulders but it falls limp on the empty side of the bed.
He is gone.
Was that his way to say goodbye?
“I need to, just got to say goodbye first” Is the last thing you remember falling off his lips when he was so close to you, wrapping his arms under your waist.
The night before comes in flashes as your head pounds, your heart aching as though it never stopped. You can feel the ghost of his lips all over your body, your neck, your chest, your stomach, the inside of your thighs.
“Say you’ll remember me. Say you’ll remember this, we will be together when time is right”
You remember how good it felt when he was finally inside you, chanting how beautiful you are with every thrust, caressing your cheeks with the point of his nose and hiding in the crook of your neck. You remember your fingernails scratching his back, leaving a red mark alongside his beautiful moles and falling to your side after coming together.
How he brushed your hair out of your face to focus on your big bright eyes, he felt so lucky just to be under your gaze. He felt so lucky to be in your bed.
He is never going to forget this, it’s true. It’s going to haunt him day and night but there’s something he has to do first.
“You know i’ll come back for you and we will be fine”
It’s all gone. He’s gone.
And you feel used, but more of that, you feel so incredibly stupid.
It’s time to show what he really lost. It’s time he regrets it.
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yes yes. sorry if the last bit is weird and rushed i wasn’t really in the mood of writing a full sex scene so that happened ):
tags @eddiesguitarskills @hipsternerd9 @afraidofshrimp @rexorangecouny @crowssixof @wiltedflowerz-blog @keerysfolklore @micheledawn1975 @thxtmarvelchick @kriitiihere thank you for the support!! (comment if you want to join the tag list!!)
I hope you like this series, feedback is appreciated! don't forget to REBLOG TO SUPPORT THE AUTHOR! . ♡
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lavendermunson · 11 months ago
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hi there love your work!
i’m so anxious for the next update of miss americana and the heartbreak prince! keep biting my nails wondering what will happen next
HI!!! thank you so much 🥰
i have half of the next chapter and i cried a little i won’t lie! i do have to say the title for it is “say you’ll remember me” and maybe you get an idea of what’s going to happen BUT the rainbow always comes out after the storm 🫢
thank you so much for reading, im really happy you are enjoying it 🩷🩷🩷
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lavendermunson · 11 months ago
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good at keeping secrets - steve harrington
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chapter 4 of miss americana and the heartbreak prince
summary millions of questions, a promotion, a gala, and the rules of the entertainment industry breaking your heart again. would steve make it better or act like the rest?
cw angst, mentions of insecurity (steve and reader), SO MUCH ANGST SORRY ):
w.c 2.3 k a short one hi
a/n thank you so much to my babe @ihatepeanutss for helping me figure this out! i was so lost and you saved me ilysm!!
series masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter
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“It was very nice to talk with you, I hope we can have some new music soon, and come by whenever you want! We love her here, don’t we?”
As the host of the show make the audience scream, applaud, and cheer for you. You smile and wave your hand to the audience cheering for you, it’s nice to hang out with your fans and allow them to see you in a morning show from the comfort of their houses.
“Thank you so much for having me, I'm going to miss you!”
You blow a kiss to the audience and then to the camera, to all the people who are watching you, and to someone out there who has your heart. When you exit the studio building you get hit by the shiny sun of Los Angeles, something you could never get tired of.
You put your sunglasses on, feeling a sense of warmth in your chest as your fans open their arms to greet you and take pictures with you. Someone is wearing Steve’s jersey and you can't tear your eyes away, the last name and number on sitting along with the colors of the team, that’s the look you would go for if you could.
___
Steve sits in front of the TV watching the morning show you are on, the smell of eggs, bacon and toast fill Eddie’s kitchen while the metalhead cooks for his friend who keeps staring at screen. Nancy is late to their weekly morning meeting, the day before a fundraiser gala. They aren’t fans of the fancy events but it’s for a good cause and Hopper said it will be good for Steve.
“Do you want a cup for your drool, big boy?” Eddie asks Steve as he sees his gaze glued to the TV. Looking at you, answering questions about your life, and skipping with a sad face the question about love and boyfriends. He wished he could hear his name instead of watching you avoid the question.
“What? No?” He quickly looks at Eddie with a plate of eggs with bacon in his hands, Steve accepts it with a thank you and sits on one of the stools on the kitchen island.
“So… you look sad, wanna talk?”
Eddie asks, he knows his friend like the palm of his hand. He knows there’s is something up, maybe too many times at once.
“I’m not sad, maybe overwhelmed”
Steve sighs, taking a sip of his coffee and looking at Eddie through his eyelashes. He knows he can’t lie to him.
“Did you see her face? She knows how to avoid these questions but god, I would love to go out and tell the world how I feel about her but I can’t”
“Can’t? Or don’t want to?” 
The question makes Steve's ears ring and his head spin.
“I can’t, Hopper won’t let me I don’t want to disappoint him” 
“Steve, I know that is only one of a few reasons but I also know that you have to work through your emotions. Is this the first time you are allowing someone in your heart like this?” 
“Yeah, it’s so… scary. I’ve never met someone like her and there’s a lot to risk”
Steve has a big ego, parts of it fuelled by his past insecurities. He cares about his fame, his reputation, and his place in the industry. He has been carrying these things since high school, things he couldn’t peel off his skin when he became who he is now. He is the best baseball player and he isn’t going to risk it.
But the thing that he is aware of, is that he is terrified of his feelings. He wants to be completely detached from all the sensibility of love, the insecurity that comes along with loving someone so deeply. What led him to be a “ladies' man” is in his genes, he doesn’t believe in marriages because his parents never loved each other and it seems like a waste of time. 
Something has deeply changed within Steve’s way of thinking and feelings, he has been known for being quiet about it and shutting down when he feels himself leaning on to the love. With you it’s different because it gives him calm, he feels safe in your arms and he is so happy, but he knows it’s not going to last. Nothing ever lasts. 
When Nancy arrives to join them for breakfast, they enjoy the morning talking about their careers and making fun of their outfits for tomorrow. Steve’s phone is blowing up with calls from Hopper, he steps out of the kitchen and into a room to answer. When he joins his friends, he gets completely frozen in his place, and a mix of frustration and emotions runs through his body at the same time. 
“Are you alright Steve?” Eddie asks, watching Steve’s face rise three tones of red. 
“I think I know what this is about,” Nancy says, stepping close to Steve and rubbing his arms “Tell us the good news”
“I’m moving teams, I’m joining the Red Sox next season”
Cheers erupt from Eddie and Nancy, filling the kitchen with laughs and warming Steve with hugs. Since he joined the sport, Steve has been looking to join his favorite team and he finally made it. 
That means a lot of changes. Not only is he saying goodbye to Hopper, but he also says goodbye to his team and his friends. Now he has to welcome a wave of new people who will help him to be even better.
“I have to go, I need to sign my contract and do a press conference. I see you tomorrow right?”
“Yeah, congratulations big boy!” 
“You got this Steve, we love you!” 
Eddie and Nancy scream at their friend before he closes the door. He is ready to go and make his dream come true on camera and paper.
___
You sit in your hotel room, completely confused about Steve’s short drunk call last night. He was so happy, his voice reached a new pitch and you could hear the boys in the back screaming at him to drink more. Right now you scroll through your phone and you see all the news about him, the press conference, the pictures, and the tweets from fans. 
“Don’t you need a date for the gala? I should’ve booked one for you” 
“No, told you I'm dating someone already but it’s private, I want to keep it a secret”
“You know I love you, but secrets in this industry don’t work. They will kill you, look at Page Six they know everything” Betty, your manager, assistant, and favorite person in the world tries to convince you. “I think it’s better if you call that friend of yours, what’s his name? The photographer” 
“He can’t see me with another guy. That’s wrong” 
You haven’t told her who he is, what he does, if he is famous or not. She does look a little worried but saves the speech for later, shaking her head and opening the door so the glam team can come over to help you get ready for the fundraiser. You have been so distracted with the tour, that Betty had to tell you the key points and updates so you have a conversation topic with whoever comes to greet you.
As the makeup artist starts getting you ready, you think about the date you had with Steve. You try to come up with a plan to sneak out of the gala with him. 
Maybe this time you crossed some of the lines that were blurry that day, instead of deciding to go slow. You wanted to get over the feeling of needing him and him needing you more intimately, your bodies have been filled with lust with no time to do something about it. You can’t seem to get enough of each other.
__ 
It’s muscle memory at this point, arriving at the gala and walking by the red carpet, posing for the cameras, and giving some interviews. As you come into the room, you see everyone has a table reserved but Steve is so far away from you. You walk to your table and bump into one of your friends, Vickie.
“Hi! You look amazing Vickie!” 
You hug her, it has been a long time since you haven’t seen her. She makes music as well and she is also an actress. You try to catch up on your lives, and your tours and invite her to one of your shows. She smiles big at the offer and takes your hand to guide you to your table.
“I’m so glad we are sitting together, my friend… she didn’t want to come with me because she already had a date!”
“I’m so sorry she ditched you, but you have me here”
When you arrive at your table, you see a card with your name on top of a set of plates. Empty cups of champagne waiting to be filled to the rim and a gift bag from the event organizers. You notice the cards on the table, Vickie sits next to you and there’s another card that reads-
“Eddie Munson? No way! they are sitting us in groups again. I don’t mind that he is cool, but why can’t we sit with the actors? Who is pushing us aside?”
While Vickie complains you look around, you see a lot of people coming in and greeting each other but you look around the room for Steve.
“Eddie… oh I know him! I went to his concert a few days ago”
“I know he is cool… I kinda wanted to meet another actress though”
“Yeah, it’s weird they divide us into groups”
“At least my friend won’t be at the model's table, she’d be with the athletes”
“Oh, who is she dating?” I am dating Steve, I wish I could sit with him.  you think.
“I’m not sure, her date’s PR team made the arrangement but she knows if they get along maybe something could happen”
“Well, good luck to her!”
You say, with a bitter taste in your mouth. PR relationships never work, they are created out of soulless, money-greedy people. Whoever agrees to them it’s an idiot.
When Eddie shows up, fashionably late. The show starts, and a band plays jazz to set an armonic evening while dinner gets served. You talk to Eddie and Vickie, get to know them more, and complain to them about the music industry. The usual.
After a couple of glasses of champagne, the event goes by quickly, with rounds of applause at the end of every speech and you can’t see Steve anywhere.  You look away from his table, trying to find your friend Jonathan who you know is working here and it’s always nice to chat with him.
“Wow, I know why you ditched me!” Vickie says to her friend, she taps your shoulder to turn your back to greet her, and oh surprise. She has her arm attached to Steve’s. Your breath hitches in your throat, a knot starts to form in your stomach.
“So, this is my friend,” Vickie says her name, and you look at her. She is tall, brunette, and has a red dress that hugs her curves, her makeup is perfectly done and you could swear the walls of the room are closing in, making you feel small and cramped. “And this is…”
“We know each-” his voice interrupts you, and you freeze in your place.
“I'm Steve, Steve Harrington. It’s nice to meet you” 
Did he just? Yes. He just acted like he didn’t know you like you were a total stranger. It breaks your heart, you know he wants to keep you a secret but this, this just feels wrong. His body is stiff, he offers you his hand to shake his and act as if you were meeting for the first time. 
It hurts. It hurts because you wish he at least called you a friend. It hurts because he acts like his hands didn’t leave some kind of tattoo on you. It hurts because your side feels empty, he has a girl to show off when he should have been showing you off. It hurts because he is okay with people thinking they have something going on. It hurts because his gaze is heavy on you, yet he manages to hide his emotions so well that the light that his eyes have when he sees you is gone.
And you feel jealous, but more than that, you feel betrayed. You feel so tired of this world.
You don’t say anything. Not even shake his hand, just walk straight to the door bumping your shoulder with his strong arm. He turns around to see you, not knowing why you did that or why you look so upset. 
Steve sees you walk through the door and his head turns quickly to catch Eddie’s gaze, who is shaking his head and frowning, pressing his lips to stay quiet and not call him an idiot in front of his date and Vickie.
You tell your security guard to take you home and they do. They notice you are upset and thank god they signed a contract so they can’t talk about how your face looks pale and your eyes are glassy, tears swelling up.
When you get home safe, you walk to the bathroom and start to cry. Your mascara starts to fade away along with your eye shadow, leaving trails on your face, you look at yourself. You look so broken, but in a way you did this to yourself because you agreed to be a secret, to be his secret.
You look away from the mirror and walk to the corner of your bathroom, your back pressed against the cold tiles you let your body fall to the floor and curl up so your knees are pressed against your chest. 
You start to cry more because you feel like such an idiot, of course, he was going to pretend nothing was going on, you didn’t expect him to take such good care of his reputation and make plans to hide you.
But you agreed to this.
You wanted to be his little secret.
And one thing about Steve… he is good at keeping secrets.
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tags @eddiesguitarskills @hipsternerd9 @afraidofshrimp @rexorangecouny @crowssixof @wiltedflowerz-blog @keerysfolklore @micheledawn1975 @thxtmarvelchick @sunnythevampireslayer thank you for the support!! (comment if you want to join the tag list!!)
I hope you like this series, feedback is appreciated! don't forget to REBLOG TO SUPPORT THE AUTHOR! . ♡
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lavendermunson · 1 year ago
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Miss americana part 4 is what i see? for the wip game i've been reading the series it's so good because i love thinking i'm a pop star
YES! i have them all in one long doc but part four is halfway done. my pop star dreams got you too i’m so happy about that 🩵🩵
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lavendermunson · 1 year ago
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i could see you as my addiction - steve harrington
chapter 3 of miss americana and the heartbreak prince
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summary a perfect date makes you forget about all the worries, the insecurities and the future. even if this time you weren't careful, who's keeping tabs anyway?
content warnings +18. some mentions of insecurities, so much fluff. allusions to sex. dry humping. slight nipple play. heavy make out, touching. no p in v next time babes.
w.c 3.5k
series masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter
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Something is wrong, something is definitely wrong. 
You find yourself sitting on the sofa at your private studio, no one joined you today since you came in a rush trying to come up with the melody for a song you wrote, about him. 
But it’s odd, nothing comes out of your head, and you let your fingers linger on the strings of one of your favorite guitars, the one with flowers painted by one of your artist friends. It’s been two hours and nothing comes to your head, not even the first note. If you could, you would smash this guitar right on the floor so it breaks, you are sure it’s some type of curse, usually, you lose sleep working but right now you are too tired to do so, and truthfully, your mind has been thinking about another thing, Steve.
Not necessarily on his large hands, his cute face, or his soft lips. No, it’s the worry that eats you alive. You wish the sofa could swallow you whole and teleport you to another universe where life is easier, when your life is not printed in newspapers and your face isn’t in every corner of the city. You love your life but it’s overwhelming, more so when it comes to dating, to love. Past mistakes tattooed in your head, dreadful memories and bad luck, seems like you are not worthy of love and you’ve been believing in it until you saw him.
Robin is right, she always is. Some things look like a fairy tale. Like it’s a dream and you are going to wake up, empty-handed and never knowing if someone would ever love you for who you really are. 
Your heart starts to ache, your teeth now biting off the rest of the old nail polish making it look chipped now. The buzz of your phone makes you flinch, you look at your hands in disgust and realize you are more than nervous. You catch a glimpse of the screen and see his nickname, causing a smile to spread across your face.
little secret: hey beautiful :) 
about tomorrow… i decided to skip practice, i know, don’t lecture me about it
it would be better if I took a day off to be with you, does that sound okay?
unless you have other plans, i’ll understand but i kind of have a plan so i hope i am lucky enough for you to take a day off with me
The typing bubble goes away indicating it’s your time to reply. Steve never sends so many texts in a short span of time, was he nervous? Anxious? Excited? You had a combination of the three emotions sitting right at the top of your belly.
you: hi handsome <3 yes, absolutely! all day with you sounds perfect. 
don’t worry, no lecture for today because I know how good you are at what you do. where are we going? 
little secret: do you wanna make me blush? 
uh, it’s a place a couple of hours away from the city… a farm, garden… i don’t know a friend owns it and we can have all the privacy we want
Perfect, privacy. Not that you don’t want to scream the world that you are dating the most perfect guy, but it’s exactly what you need, some moment alone with him.
you: privacy? to do what? ;)
little secret: oh i have a few things in mind…
You joke, trying to get rid of your nerves. But you blush at his reply.
little secret: eight am sounds good? Is it too early? i’ll pick you up
you: no, it’s perfect. i’ll send you my address!
little secret: great, have a nice day beautiful
you: you too, handsome <3 can’t wait to see you again
——
The next day comes, and you are hyper-aware of your nerves as you look in front of the mirror. You’ve changed your outfit at least five times, the room is full of clothes on the floor. You shouldn’t worry about it but you are, you want this to be perfect. 
It’s almost eight am and the only thing you can think about is how are you going to get out of the city without being seen and followed. You guess Steve has it covered but… what if he doesn’t?
Sixth change of outfit and last, you fix the hem of your skirt and put on some cherry chapstick, this time you went for a natural make up look to be more comfortable. You get your purse closed and sit on the couch while you check social media. It has never been your favorite hobby but it’s quite gratifying to see your friend’s faces and their new adventures. 
Robin’s “good luck” text pops up on your screen, You thank her and moments later Steve arrives.
You prepare yourself for what's coming, praying everything goes well and that your nerves won't eat you alive.
“Hi, beautiful. You look amazing” he says, standing close to the black SUV. He leans in to leave a kiss on your cheek and hand you a bouquet of flowers.
“Hey handsome” you blush at the feeling of his lips against your face, something you are addicted to. “These are so pretty, you really didn’t have to”
“Or course i did, i have to spoil you”
He winks and takes your hand to help you get into the vehicle, you see it’s completely dark so no one can look into it.
——
After the total chaos of switching cars in an empty dark parking lot and Steve’s driver keeping the secret of you two together, you are now in a quieter part outside of the city. The road looks empty, it’s a place you’ve never visited but you get intrigued at how calm it is. Your hair flows with the wind thanks to Steve’s old and classic convertible, the sun hits his face when you look at him. Sunglasses sit on the bridge of his nose and you miss that spark in his eyes whenever he sees you. His hand lingers on your thigh, feeling your hot skin under his soft fingertips, his hand keeps moving up with seconds and you let your body relax, your back pressed against the seat. 
The radio has been playing old songs and there’s a quick change to modern songs. The first one is a new song from your friend Vickie, following up it’s one of Corroded Coffin’s most popular songs and then you hear a melody too familiar.
“Oh, I love this song” his hand travels from your thigh to the radio’s tuning knob to turn the volume up. Missing the feeling of his warm hand on your skin, you take his hand in yours and place it on your thigh again. 
He grins at you while the song starts to play louder and you hear your voice.
“No, no, no!” you cover your face with your palms, shaking your head as you hide the red tint on your cheeks. 
“What? I love this song, it’s fun” Steve sings along, surprised he knows the words when you look at him with a smile on your face. A laugh falls off your lips when he gets to the chorus, screaming the lyrics of your song. 
“It's time, oh-oh. I don't know about you, but I'm feeling twenty-two” he keeps singing, taking your hand up in the air and dancing. “Everything will be alright if you keep me next to you” he takes a quick look at you, dedicating your own words to you.
You eventually join him, not only singing your song but a few that pop up on the radio, making the ride smoother, feeling like it went away quicker and you finally arrive at your destination. 
“I’m sorry about your ears,” he says, letting go of the steering wheel and taking the keys out of the ignition. A frown forms on your face, watching every one of his movements. 
“Sorry for what?”
“Your ears, I know I am a really bad singer but I do love music!” His laugh is contagious, seeing him smile so much is a thing that will be in your head forever. 
“Don’t worry, I don’t know how to play baseball so I think we are even”
“Are you admitting I'm a bad singer?”
“No, no I didn't mean it like that”
As soon as the car comes to a full stop, he gets out and rushes to your side, holding the door open for you and extending his hand to assist you in getting out. You take his hand and step out of the car, accidentally bumping chests with him.
“I didn’t mean it like that” you repeat. 
“I know, honey” 
He takes off his glasses, placing them on the collar of his shirt and his free hands find your waist. You do the same and tangle your arms around his neck, getting closer to him and brushing your lips with his in a quick kiss.
“I can teach you to play and some other things” he whispers on your lips, you nod and close the gap between you quickly.
As his lips move against yours, his hands squeeze your waist and his tongue finds its way into your mouth, it bumps with yours making him groan. Your head leans to the side to give him more access, the kiss becomes quicker, hotter and you feel so desperate to get more of his taste. Cigarettes, mint and a dash of cherry from your lips. He pulls away to take some air and looks at you with a smile, your chest rises up and down quickly as you try to do the same. 
“I- we should get inside and eat something. I’m starving”
You pinch your brows together, knowing how you both seem to push each other when it gets too much. Just like you at the concert, afraid that anyone will see you and start to scream. Anxiety sits on your stomach again, knowing that even if no one is watching you there is always a wall between you and Steve that will be hard to break.
You join him inside the house, it’s small but pretty. Pictures of his coach, Hopper with his wife and kids are all over the walls. They look so happy.
When you ask for a vase for the flowers he shows you where they are, not leaving his sight of what he is getting from behind the kitchen counter.
“I’m ready, let’s go!”
Steve has a picnic basket in his hand and a bottle of wine in the other. You follow him to the back door after placing your flowers in the vase along with some water. There’s a nice, big garden and to a big tree that casts a big shadow that looks like the perfect place for you to sit down and eat, you look around and see a lot of vegetables, fruits, and flowers planted on the floor. You notice the family likes to do gardening and eat fresh food, it all looks perfectly placed and taken care of.
You find Steve on his knees, taking the food out of the picnic basket. There are sandwiches, fruit cut into tiny pieces, a cheese board, and some chocolate truffles. You sit close to him to help him, getting the plates out along with some cutlery and the wine cups.
“You… Did you prepare all of this?” a smile shows on your face, which Steve loves. He nods, pressing his lips together to hide a grin.
“I had a little help but… yeah I did”
“Help? From who?” you ask.
“Uh, my friend Nancy”
You remember her, noticing how she was so close to Robin and it made you smile. 
“Nancy, yes. I haven’t officially met her but my best friend, Robin… she couldn’t stop talking about her the other night and I-” Your pause makes Steve’s brows form a frown. 
“You okay?” he asks you, not knowing if it’s something he did or hasn't done. He doesn’t know what’s happening but you are completely frozen in your place and your smile disappears. 
“Your friend, Nancy. Does she know about us?” 
“No, she just- I told her I had a date but I didn't say with who” He lies.
“Does your friend Robin know about us?” he asks, you can see his curious eyes scanning your face. 
“No, I- nobody knows. I haven’t told anyone” You lie and it feels very wrong.
Robin is your best friend, you tell each other everything and it is inevitable for you to not tell her but you lie because, of course, you don’t want Steve to be disappointed. He told you this was a secret.
“Oh, yeah, same” he sits down, his back pressed against the tree while he takes a sandwich and starts eating. He looks at you, taking pieces of fruit on your plate and being quiet.
If you asked Steve’s friends, they would tell you he gets distracted pretty easily whenever he is outside his games. He isn’t used to catching when someone needs to be comforted until the other person mentions it, because for him it has to be obvious. If someone is mad, they have to be screaming or making aggressive gestures because that’s how Steve grew up. His parents were always tossing things at each other, when Hopper gets mad he yells, and when Eddie is pissed he calls him an idiot.
But with you, it’s different. When your smile fades away, Steve thinks that it is normal but you are now quiet and not looking at him, he is missing your attention and his brain finally wakes up.
“Is there something wrong?” 
When you finally look at him, you get closer to him. Your arms bump with each other and Steve’s arm comes behind your neck to rest on your shoulders and leaves a small kiss on your cheek. He lets out a sigh knowing that he knows you still want to be close to him.
“Speaking hypothetically” Not ready for the answer but pretty impatient for it, you decide to rip the band aid off. “If I told someone else about us, would that be bad?” 
You lied to Steve. He lied to you. It’s a rough start but it’s a little lie, something you can manage.
“No, not if you trust that person” Steve bites his lips, your head rests on his chest and he rubs your thigh. “But I think we should keep it between us, still. I- I think it’s more special that way”
But it’s not, and Steve knows. He is used to lying to protect himself, lies are better than saying what he actually feels.
“Totally, it’s more special this way” You try to convince yourself but it’s not working, yet, you try to change the subject and ask him about this house, Hopper, and his kids. 
He tells you all of their stories. From meeting him to meeting his kids to his fight with Jonathan and Will’s friends hanging out with him as if he were the babysitter. Eventually, he found a family in all of them even if they aren’t connected by blood.
He asks you how you met Robin, and you start by telling him she has been your friend since you were kids and even though you had nothing in common she has been your rock and you’ve been hers. She is the one you trust more than anyone else.
The sun has been setting down, leaving the sky in a shade of pink and orange but the warmth of the day never leaves. You are not sure of when you got to this, your legs straddling him as his back presses against the tree, the empty plates scattered all over the place while you sit on his lap. His hands are all over your skin, fingertips traveling all the way to your breasts to give them a light squeeze. 
You stop kissing his neck leaving soft kisses on his sharp firm jaw and leaving a peck on the corner of his mouth before entangling your lips with his. After giving him permission, your head leans to one side as you cup his face gently, thumb tracing his cheek where his moles rest. Your lips brush against his tenderly, he savors the taste of your cherry chapstick and the remnants of strawberry, chocolate, and wine that make his heart flutter as the way he is becoming addicted to your lips, to you. 
As the kiss deepens, your tongues meet for the first time, dancing in a perfect rhythm leaving a trace of passion and longing, an intimate moment you both needed so much. The world seems to disappear around you when one of his arms goes under your skirt to touch the soft skin of your ass, his hands are soft but the warmth of his palms elevates you. His other hand sneaks to the back of your body to unhook your bra with one hand, impressive, you help him get rid of your bra and he breaks away from the kiss to admire your hard nipples under your top.
"You are so fucking pretty" he whispers against your lips, his words tingling on the bottom of your lip before they touch his mouth again.
His hand goes back to squeeze your breasts again, pinching your nipples with his fingers to give you extra pleasure but it's not enough. Your hips start to rock involuntarily against the hard bulge in his pants making him hide his groans over the kiss combined with your low moans. Wetness pooling on your panties as the rough material of his jeans gives you a pleasant ammount of friction.
He is lost in you, in the way you move over him and the way you are kissing him. He has never felt this, he has kissed other girls but no one has earned a place in his heart like you. He is putty in your hands, goosebumps adorning his arms as his heart beats as fast as when he is playing. It's a feeling he has never felt outside the field, the power you have over him is something unmeasurable.
As one of your hands rests over his cheek, the other goes under his shirt to touch every inch of his skin and try to memorize it. You feel the same, lost in him as your heart bumps against your ribs like a hammer. You swear you can see the stars, the questions, and the doubts fading into insignificance as you explore each other's bodies with warmth and desire. 
You break from the kiss, both trying to catch your breath as your chest rises up and down. His gaze is heavy on you, looking at your pretty eyes with so much desire and admiration, his hands leave your body to cup your face and squeeze the soft skin of your cheeks.
Steve looks at your face, your perfect glowy eyes making him feel warm. 
He smirks at the sight of your flushed cheeks and your pink puffy lips knowing he caused this. You are an angel, he thinks, you are here to save him and to make him happy and he wants to keep you forever. 
"If you could look at you the way I do, you'll see how much I want to scream to the world that I like you a lot" Steve hesitates for a moment, being trapped in the lavender haze of your presence and your bodies being connected, tangled.
"I like you so much too, i'd give up the stars just to see your face every night" You look at him with the biggest smile on your face, he leaves a peck on your lips and smiles with the same happiness you are feeling right now.
"Do you think we could-" He gets interrupted by a ring on the kitchen phone, is incredibly loud it makes you both jump. He freezes in his place, not wanting to leave his position, he is so close to you that it makes him crazy. 
"You should get that, it could be important" 
Steve helps you get up, telling you to wait and not move from where you are. His unfinished question is still on your mind. Do you think we could... what? Have sex? Tell the world we love each other? Wait, does he love you? Do you love him? Already? Is it too soon?
He comes back to you jogging, short of breath and with a sad frown on his face. 
"I'm sorry, Nancy just told me I have to get back. Hopper wants to have dinner and if I'm not there he is... I'm sure he is going to kick my ass"
You nod, looking at him with the same sad frown but trying to smile so he doesn't get to read your mind and see your worries. "Don't worry, it's okay Stevie" You know how much Hopper means to him, how Steve feels he owes him so much for helping him get to where he is now.
His heart skips a beat at the nickname, Steve sees you reach down to get your bra back. He is quicker than you and grabs it for you. 
"Let me help" A mischievous grin shows on his lips.
You turn around giggling as you take your top off, he sighs when he sees your naked back and the soft fabric of your top on your hands he misses the view he was waiting for, dreaming of.
"C'mon! you are not doing this to me!" Steve yells, defeated as he gets closer to you and helps you put your back on.
"I'm sorry, maybe next time handsome" You tease, a soft chuckle leaves his lips and helps you get dressed, hooking your bra and helping you get your top on again. He hugs you from behind, hiding his face on your neck and kissing it. 
His wet kiss turns into a bite, where he starts to suck on your skin to leave a mark. You shut your eyes, appreciating the little sting on your neck, but the smile never leaves your lips knowing he is marking you. No one will know who did it, but everyone will know you already belong with someone. 
"I'm sorry we have to go, i really wanted you to stay" his arms lock you in with your back pressed against his chest. "I hope we can see each other again and soon"
"We will, we will see each other many times from now on" Your hand finds his face and then his hair, you play with it for a moment just enjoying this hug before he takes you home.
The night comes, and the day ends. But this is just the beginning.
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tags @eddiesguitarskills @hipsternerd9 @afraidofshrimp @rexorangecouny @crowssixof thank you for the support!! (comment if you want to join the tag list!!)
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this chapter is very cute but there's some angst coming...
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