#this was so fun but it also rly broke me lmao

[aq2003]

Different anon than before, but all the s3 ten and martha fics you recommended were amazing. Any other general doctor who fics you like?

ok i'm going to use this as an opportunity to make a general fic rec list for doctor who bc i haven't done something like this in a while and i think it'd be fun. (i'm going to include the s3 ten and martha fics i linked before bc they are some of my favorites and i won't shut up about them)

Sometimes There's Stars by Monarchetype. this is probably my favorite doctor who fic ever in that it appeals directly to my twelve feels and fourteen feels and makes me feel the entire spectrum of human emotion bc of it. the doctor is having neurodivergent floor time in this one. donna has some funny names for the constellations. i cry every single time i read this

History by NikaV. this fic is special to me it's actually the first one i read as i was warily perusing doctor who fics after watching series 3 (i had donna's tag blocked for spoilers LMAO) and god it's soooo. it's sooooo. tenmartha museum fic you'll always be famous. stories that worldbuild about the aftereffects of the timewar my beloved. early s3 martha pov my beloved.

The Ravelled Sleeve of Care by lavenderseaslug. this basically follows ten and donna after their various series 4 adventures. they share a bunk bed. theyre my little guys. the qpps ever

Lethologica by babybel. this is a fic of jenny meeting with donna post-series 4 and yes it's exactly as shrimp emotion inducing as it sounds

Ten Minutes Of Eternity by EldunariLiduen. technically you have to listen to the time reaver big finish audio (...:)) to get the full context for this but it is such a great missing scene and actually can i please have more fics about time reaver it makes me want to explode

Grounded by gawayne. AHHHHHHHHH time reaver hurt comfort. time reaver hurt comfort save me. save me time reaver hurt comfort (<- deranged about this singular big finish audio)

Aro/Ace Twelve by lloydsglasses (series). exactly what it says on the tin. i have not found a lot of twelve fics that appealed to my specific tastes but these ones are really sweet and as an aroace doctor truther i am legally obligated to recommend them <2

At the Edge of the Universe by IllusionOfDeath (series). this is a pair of canon compliant donna character studies in the 60th and ohhhhhh the fourteendonna huh. The fourteendonna broke into my house and left me for dead. AhhhhhHHHHHHH

The Last Act of the Time War is..., Three Months, Subjective Time, and Human-Shaped by versaphile. these three fics are great and i have many feelings about them that can all essentially be boiled down to "jesus christ ten is doing so bad. he's doing so so bad you guys. good lord"

doctor who oneshots by inckpot (series). i tried to pick out my favorites out of these to specifically recommend but it ended up being almost all of them and they are all organized into a beautiful list already so <3. also i don't rly ship ten w anybody but the tensimm and tenjack here fascinate me. they are like diseased bugs of some sort and i'm studying them in a lab. anyway i think op has my favorite general portrayal of timelords in fics ever like there's a line in respite about "carrying the stars" and this generally makes me want to eat drywall and explode into 80 million tiny pieces of glass. the way the doctor's pov gets written. oh yeah. i'm insane

[whumpshaped]

LMAO YOUR OPINION SO TRUE, I've seen people write whumpees getting tortured and assaulted and mutilated and starved and beaten every day for literal years and they still have them acting like it didn't traumatize them 😂 "no they're just really strong sorry I don't like PATHETIC WEAK whumpees who *checks notes* act like an actual human would upon being tortured and get trauma, what's trauma lol? Not real. Now move along, it's time for him make jokes about his 3rd anniversary of pethood"

to be very very clear i am absolutely not saying ppl writing defiant or "unrealistic" whumpees r bad writers or their stories r bad or anything, its just not my personal taste. like, ive seen ppl be like "ugh pathetic broken whumpees are so boring" and that already triggers my rsd so i wanna be clear that i am NOT trying to put anyone down at all, please write what brings u the most joy, because there will be plenty plenty others who love that same thing.

this got long bc im rambling im sorry

but yes what u describe is absolutely my pet peeve, for the sole reason that my own personality is soooooo far away from that that i cant project lol actually, i wonder if it rly is unrealistic, or if there are ppl who have such a strong detachment from their situation that theyd continue to act that way. or even just... you know how people can get used to everything. and how with chronic pain for example, the pain gets "boring" and you wont see those ppl just rolling around the floor in agony 24/7 bc thats not very fun. they just learn to function w pain levels potentially much higher than average. i wonder if a whumpee whos been in captivity for 3 yrs could have a similar situation where theyre just tired of being scared and they have no joys other than making whumper's eye twich. (and only break down after the stressors and repeated trauma are gone)

i think my whumpees swing the other way on the unrealism spectrum (or maybe not idk ive never been thru that and fingers crossed i never will) and im sure thats also annoying for some people. but if u know me, u know i am obsessed w rules and order. breaking rules of any kind gives me immense anxiety. i also hate unfair treatment to death! so if i see a whumpee break rules and succeed and thats how they gain advantages, it pisses me off! bc they just broke the rules why r they getting better treatment!! even if they get worse treatment im just huffing and puffing bc well u couldve avoided that!! i wouldve!!

another reason is that if whumpee is successfully defiant and pissing whumper off or smth, getting under their skin, whatever, it takes me out of the whumper fantasy... if u saw me describe my ideal whumper u saw how i literally wrote mary sue. that includes being able to control and break their whumpee. if whumpee isnt following the rules it makes me question the whumper, and i dont like questioning the whumper, i want the whumper to be in absolute and utter control of everything.

BUT AGAIN THATS ALL PERSONAL OPINION. thats what i like, thats what i write, thats what i seek out from others. i hope others have a very fun time writing as defiant whumpees as their heart desires.

[hermitw]

besides JJK, what other anime do you like?

Tldr; mostly horror I guess?

I'll try anything if I like the art style, the aesthetic experience comes first but I love when they get deep and throw my heart against the wall lmao (banana fish looked like a fun gay background show. It was not. I got so obsessed and heartbroken there).

Lately I've had jujutsu kaisen, Kagewani, and Another on repeat. So much that I put myself in time out from crunchyroll

Kagewani - one that I swear inspired jjk (I thought it was a background show until looking up and realizing the main character is basically an X-Files au Suguru Geto} . it's like yamishibai /yamizukan style, but each episode is part of the same story.

Another (it's so beautiful? The colors?) One of the main characters reminds me of Mimiko. It's also fun because you have to figure out who is a ghost, or whether the haunting is even true at all. Rly hope that I'll find more similar to this one, it makes me want to go to art school or something.

In the past, i'd wait for a series to be complete before getting invested, but broke that resolve last year (the art style was too good, as soon as a friend told me to watch jjk I gave up on waiting).

So my favorites with only one season out currently are apothecary diaries (tbh tried it for Kaiji Tang but it's so good??), and vampire dormitory (it's so funny and queer and idk I like to balance between the sweet and stressful. The English dub is so good, sometimes I'd get impatient and watch subbed but it was less funny).

I've also been rly into Naruto, Dr. Stone, Junji Ito collection, and mushi-shi, if that sets a general vibe?

These are all anime I'd mention when giving or asking for recs.

[slytherinshua]

Hopefully they will get a bit of rest before the show! They definitely need it after the tour though, the schedule seemed brutal. I don't think I'd be able to cope if it was me lol. You'll have to let me know what they are like to watch live, I'm sure they'll be amazing!!

Play is such a comfort song! I have definitely cried listening to it as well haha, also haze. I really do love how they have a song for every mood lol.

I'm honestly so glad that I started to listen to them when I did. I found them at a time when I'm finally starting to think more positively about myself and seeing my own potential, like seeing that I can improve myself but also being kind to myself when I inevitably mess up. I think the messages in their songs are really comforting and make me feel seen. (Although I still remember the night when hug by seventeen absolutely broke me ahaha) Finding a talented violinist who plays music that I like has helped me want to become better in that sense too, although admittedly I have wanted to improve for a while, but Yechan has actually given me a goal which is nice. (I've started to try and learn boogie man and my respect for Yechan has went WAY up).

I have wanted to watch super and for ages!! I never knew where to find it though. I found out about it because I'd started to listen to Hoppipolla and then would watch compilation videos of clips from superband. It seems so fun! And the amount of talent would make me cry ahaha. I'll and Ha Hyunsang's voices in 1000x almost made me cry the first time I listened to it because they blended so beautifully. After getting into Lucy, I was kinda like, the bassist in the awesome cover of the Coldplay song (I can't remember what it's called lol) was Wonsang?! Yechan played viva la Vida?? With Ha Hyunsang?? That made me want to watch it more ahaha (although I don't know if I'll be emotionally prepared to see Sangyeop cry)

I'll let you know if I have any ideas haha, but definitely keep writing for Lucy! I really liked your style of writing and thought you wrote Sangyeop really well!

Enjoy the show!!!!

okay now that I’m back from the show lemme answer this 🥹🥹 I think they did get some rest beforehand they were rly energetic and excited :( moreso than me cause I was so sore it hurt to stand and I was struggling when sangyeop wanted us to jump sigh

You could rly just tell they went all out for their last show of the tour and it was just so special :( I was right by wonsang bcuz he’s my bias and I wanted to watch him up close so most of the videos I took are of him. Whenever I could see sangyeop or get noticed by sangyeop I would die internally idk smth abt him live is just way too attractive and charismatic and he needs to stop being so fucking fine istg??? But wonsang was so cute I was chilling standing by him <33

I swear I can cry to any lucy song cause even the happy ones have sad or relatable lyrics… the sad ones hit so fucking hard absolutely when I need to cry colourless is my go to…. Sangyeop ugh 👹👹👹👹 and when it’s a song like boogie man I just cry cause of how beautifully crafted it is cause I think abt how hard wonsang works on every song LMAO IM SO EMO KILL ME

I also feel like I found them at just the right time but like for the opposite reason. I was going through intense burnout and listening to stove while I worked on schoolwork was the only thing keeping me going :( (along w bambam ty husband <3)

I NEED TO REWATCH SUPERBAND IN FULL TBH CAUSE 😭😭 I went back to watch the lucy stages but I just need to experience the WHOLE thing again… anyway here’s the link to the google doc with the google drive eps for you <3333 AND YES ADVENTURE OF A LIFETIME COVER!!!! Absolutely adored it sm I remember how everyone thought wonsang was selfish and trying to make himself stand out by only picking guitarists while he was the only bassist but then he got all 5 votes cause his arrangement was so beautiful and chilling and ethereal and I love him sm I always call him my lil genius :(

Dropping some photos from the concert hehe

[orcelito]

Any trigun fics you do recommend/enjoyed?

oh Positivity, yes. uuuhhhh im kind of bad at bookmarking things ngl but i will share A Few. all vashwood bc that's my shit & all

i feel like everyone knows about Figure Me Out but it was one of the first fics i read in this fandom & honestly tangentially inspiration for writing Sentido (that whole tangible inhumanity kind of idea). i should reread it sometime. im very behind on the sequel but im thinking about working on reading it so i can have smth that has good characterization. genuinely some of the best vash characterization ive seen. Sooooooooooo good

theres kinder, gentler WHICH i actually was absolutely ABSOLUTELY obsessed with a giant haikyuu fic this person wrote back in the day, so seeing them get into trigun was an Absolute gift for me. one of the best trigun longfic there are imo with fun characterizations & WONDERFUL writing. one of my favorite instances of Knives Domestication too, aka he's still very thorny and does not like humans but he is Making An Effort (after centuries and centuries of work). this fic rly embodies the spirit of trigun to me tbh, if it was something... well... kinder and gentler. very silly and very sad at times, but also hopeful. what a fic <3

i was very very very obsessed with Trillium and Ivy. read the entire thing in one day. & honestly shoutout to them for writing such a long fic back b4 the trigun renaissance. Dedication. it's been a bit since ive read it but i remember really enjoying how they wrote Vash's disability in a modern setting. not just handwaving away the prosthetic as some super high-tech thing. and also addressing the utter horror that his recovery from such a serious accident wouldve been. honestly i might reread it sometime, ive forgotten a lot of it and it was SO fucking good. genuinely i was obsessed. highly recommend it.

uhmmmmmmmmmmm the other trigun fics i have bookmarked are smut fics lksdjflsdkfj but i'll share them anyways bc if it's in my bookmarks that means they HIT me enough i wanted to save it for later. and thus they are the kinds of smut fics that have U contemplating life and love and ur very existence

i’m here in search of your glory (there’s been a million before me) (what a long title) uh this one. well this one broke me. first half is just pain pain pain pain and then u get ur happiness and Relief and joy and. well. ya kno lmao. this fic rly did hit me so hard tho. i enjoyed it a lot

a kind heart to haunt rancher (& ex outlaw) vash and cowboy wolfwood. western au, very well done. i read this one all in one morning and felt shrimp feelings (in a good way). and the smut is. Also good. LOVE AND LONGING AND uh. good smut. what more is there to ask for

just a holy fool now i'll admit it's been over 4 months since ive read this so i dont remember a lot. but since it's in my bookmarks that means it Hit me. i remember it being the perfect kind of vashwood longing tho So if ur looking for smut with feelings. this one's Pretty Great

[chironshorseass]

I use StoryGraph instead of goodreads but I would love to hear your thoughts on fourth wing

*clearing my throat* my moment has come😈

i haven’t finished it yet (nearly done tho), but i’m sooo frustrated by that book u have no idea, especially since i was excited to read it bc it looked to be rly hyped up and had dragons—so i had to read it!!!

…..my biggest mistake ever. tbh it’s not the worst book i’ve ever read and i can see why people (mostly people who don’t read fantasy) enjoy it, but at the same time the writing style is SO juvenile. i’m not kidding when i say this book has the simplest prose i’ve ever read🥴. i think what’s kept me reading is 1) i bought it and i’m broke so i should at least finish it and 2) the dragons are really cool. that’s my fav part abt my reading experience tbh; i rly like all the lore we get abt them and then when they actually appear it’s fun to see how each has its own personality and just….dragons. dragons!!!! i love dragons lmao. but i hate hate HATE the world building apart from that and i know next to nothing abt the specifics of WHY tf they’re at war and i’m nearly done and also i think the romance is super tacky and not at all natural (tho it could be if we actually knew SOMETHING more about xaden’s personality and had their relationship built on actual trust and understanding instead of what it mostly is: attraction). i think those r my biggest problems: the world building is so shit that i can’t bring myself to care about what’s going on right now and i’m not buying their relationship + the prose is rly taking me out, especially since it’s supposed to be fantasy. it’s just very strange.

tldr; im disappointed by this book and i can’t possibly comprehend how fourth wing is so famous. i really really cant. i did enjoy some parts but overall there’s so many more fantasy books that do all the things fourth wing is doing but better. and now im scared to see what the future holds for the publishing industry if this is what blows up 😭

[trickstarbrave]

💖, 🥺, 🎶, and 🤲 for the Fanfic Writer Emoji Ask! Any, all, none! 🖤

💖 What made you start writing?

oh god. i dont remember. i have been writing fanfics since i was like 12 in middle school. i guess i just saw fanfic for the first time then and went "holy shit you can make your own stories???????" and went off the rails. never rly stopped tbh

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

i love just like. writing the little physical touches that show how close two characters are. little couple interactions. nerevar having voryn feel his beating heart, voryn fussing over nerevar's hair, either of them comforting each other by rubbing the other's arm and shoulders.... touch is such a fun thing to play with in fics and i think can communicate a lot about how two character's feel or how they work together. idk. two characters touch tenderly and brain go brrrrr

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

sometimes yeah! if i wanna set a mood i'll listen while i write or before on loop for ideas. chapter 11 of moon and star i wrote while listening to the song "take me back to eden" and "rain" by sleep token and i think it shows tbh. but maybe im just insane i cant stop listening to sleep token please help

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

sure. actually i rly do wanna share this one rly bad actually but mind the spoilers (also i gotta change some things in it LMAO im shifting stuff around atm if it changes later u know why)

He was in a tent. A nordic tent to be precise. He recognized the style from when he was captured, though this tent was far more elegant and homely than the one they kept prisoners in. There was only a dim lantern lighting up, illuminating the space with a soft, golden-orange glow. 

Voryn stripped off his robes, letting the fabric fall from his shoulders with practiced grace and elegance, knowing another was watching him. Gooseflesh broke out across his skin as he shivered slightly from the cold air meeting him. He tried to suppress it, but it was far too difficult in this climate. Yet, he wasn’t cold for long; as his robes met the carpeted ground two large, calloused hands were rubbing against his shoulders, before warm arms took him into an embrace. 

“Daelha,” Despite saying a chimeri word, the nordic accent on the man’s tongue was thick and heavy. But in its own way it was endearing—he adored Voryn so much he wanted to refer to Voryn as ‘love’ in Voryn’s tongue so he knew his earnestness. “So beautiful, as always…” He marveled, gently stroking along his skin. Voryn had to suppress a needy hiss from the brush of rough skin on his lower stomach only fanning the flames of his desire more. Then, he twisted, facing his lover properly. 

Blue eyes stared at him with warmth and affection twinking in them, a heavy grey-brown beard on a man who barely stood taller than him. Yet, despite the satisfaction that came with knowing he was loved, there was a gnawing at his core that wouldn’t go away. A hunger that was left unfulfilled. Something so tantalizingly close, and yet so far. 

Laid out on the cot, his want only grew stronger as he lost himself in the body of the powerful warrior on top of him. He moaned and sang and cried just as he knew he enjoyed it, but part of him wasn't there at that moment. A fragment of his heart was somewhere further away, and its absence was deafeningly loud. The blue of this man’s eyes was more like snow kissed mountains than the blaring hot sky. His body was too large and too tall, even if in its own way it was satisfying to be held and thrusted into by him. His beard too, while part of him enjoyed the way it tickled him when they kissed and curled up together, reminded him of what he was missing. 

A face crossed his mind as he screwed his eyes shut, and guilt followed. A golden face with snow-white hair and a devilish grin. He always felt guilty thinking of him when making love to another, yet it was sometimes impossible not to. Voryn could tell this was another one of those nights—another night he could only find release by imagining making sweet love to Nerevar instead. His lover’s calloused hands turned into the fantasy of Nerevar touching him, and the nordic accent fades softly, the tone shifting in his ears. He wondered what Nerevar would say, if he was under the other chimer. Would Nerevar affectionately call him ‘love’ just like the nord did? Would he be sweet and gentle with all the brutal strength in his body? Or would he be rough and cruel? 

Voryn sometimes felt like he hated Nerevar, especially in moments like this. Neht haunted his thoughts, and yet cruelly ignored him. When he was captured, Nerevar didn’t even come to his rescue, instead stationing himself on the other side of Resdayn. While Voryn was getting himself out of that mess, seducing their enemy in exchange for freedom and information while his heart grieved his mother, Nerevar was trying to win the queen’s favor. When he was finally freed and saw him again, the mer only awkwardly patted him on the shoulder and gave a half hearted, sheepish smile and said he was happy to see Voryn again. 

He wondered if Nerevar wished he had died instead. 

The feeling was burning hot in his chest when he thought of it, tears stinging his eyes. His lover brushed them away with all the tenderness he always craved from Neht, and that only made his guilt grow. The leader of House Dagoth instead moaned louder, wrapping his long legs around him, and buried his face in his shoulder. His guilt ached like a raw wound as he forced himself to think about Nerevar again, about Nerevar kissing him and fucking him to completion. Of Nerevar wanting him just as badly as Voryn wanted him. 

And it was because of that Voryn knew he didn't deserve this man either. If Nerevar was horrible, then Voryn was just as bad, making love to someone as gentle as him while thinking of his oldest friend. 

“Daelha…” Voryn mumbled back as he was kissed over and over again on the cot, pressed firmly under his lover’s weight. After sex he was always affectionate, something that made Voryn feel guiltier the longer it continued. At least he knew he was guilty and wanted to do away with the habit. In time he hoped the feeling would leave him, and he could finally love this man with all his heart as he deserved…

Voryn sat straight up out of bed with a start, panic rushing through him. He felt nauseous—positively sick, his mind trying to make sense of what he saw in his dream.

It was realistic. Far too realistic for comfort. He could taste the man on his tongue, feel the chill in the air, and then the heat of the nord’s body. It felt like a memory he was reliving, not a dream. 

But how could that be? How could he conceive of a lover that wasn’t Nerevar? How could he lay beneath someone else and hold back moaning Nerevar’s name? How could part of him hate Nerevar and hate himself all at once? And why did part of him still think of that other man’s face and feel a pang of longing and guilt even now that he was awake? 

The information sunk in as he forced himself to ignore the sex that made him feel too many incomprehensible emotions. Nerevar hadn’t rescued him. He had used his trained skills of seduction to get himself out of it. He laid beneath the leader of the nords and whispered sweet nothings and promises to help him. He…

Voryn had taken Ysmir Wulfharth as a lover. Continued to lay with him long after he needed to for freedom. Whispered promises and battle plans in his ear, as he worked to find the heart of a god.

Voryn had betrayed his people, his country, and Nerevar. 

“Voryn…?” Nerevar sleepily awoke, rolling over to look up at him. In the moonlight filtering in through the windows, Voryn could see the blue of his eyes and bile climbed up his throat as he scrambled out of bed. 

“Voryn?” Nerevar asked again, now more awake and worried. “I need some air.” Voryn said swiftly, tugging on a robe. “I just need some air.” 

He rushed to the balcony, dry heaving. The cool air provided some relief, but he felt even more ashamed of himself, unable to make sense of such a revelation. 

Voryn would never betray Nerevar, would he? Nerevar had told him he only stood against him because the Heart of Lorkhan had driven him to madness. That he wasn’t in his right mind when he attacked Nerevar. And Voryn had believed him—why else would he ever try to harm Neht if it wasn’t because he wasn’t able to think clearly? 

He could feel the hate burning in his chest though, white hot and angry. He knew the emotion was something vile and twisted. Hate, rage, and vindictive spite. He loved and wanted the man who denied him and pushed him away, keeping him at arm's length. Voryn wanted him so much he despised Nerevar, until it twisted him and corrupted him. He loved Nerevar so much it turned to pure hatred and rage that he couldn’t have him. And yet, even in that swirling pit of rage over the fact that Nerevar had essentially thrown him to the hounds, he still needed him to the point he hated himself. Until it was driving him mad. Until he saw Nerevar in another and desperately tried to claw those fragments of Nerevar closer and closer. 

Voryn had seen who he used to be, like a reflection in a shattered mirror. And he did not like what he saw—what he knew. 

“Are you alright?” Nerevar asked, now dressed in a loose robe himself. The hand rubbing soothing circles was too similar to how the memory of Wulfharth touching him, and the shame made him burn and ache with self loathing. He wished he could curl up and die right there, that he had the nerve to fling himself off this balcony, but instead all he could do was grip the balcony railing until his knuckles went white as tears rolled down his face. “Voryn…?” Nerevar’s voice was soft and sweet, unlike the voice of Nerevar he remembered laying under another man. 

In this life, Nerevar came for him. In this life, Nerevar loved and embraced him. Voryn was ever grateful for that, taking immense joy and solace in the fact he was not lost like the other version of himself. 

But now Voryn knew what kind of twisted, ugly person he would be without that love. What a horrible person he would become. There was no excuse for what he did—he wanted love selfishly—wanted it because he felt entitled, because it wasn’t given to him. He wanted Nerevar all to himself, and selfishly sought to comfort himself in a way that might harm the other for his own benefit. And a core part of him, that seed of something vile, was still inside him whether he wanted it to be or not.

“I’m sorry…” Voryn sobbed, unable to hold back the shaking in his body. “Neht, I’m so—please…” 

“Voryn—” Nerevar took him by the shoulders and turned him around, forcing Voryn to face him. The look of pure concern on his face, the love and adoration and honesty swirling in his eyes was too much. 

Voryn turned sharply again, throwing up over the balcony. Nerevar—kind, sweet Nerevar—pulled his hair out of his face as he indecently wretched and continued to gag long after the contents of his stomach were empty. And then, like a broken doll, his legs collapsed as he sank onto the stone balcony, trembling and sobbing.

“Shh…” Nerevar soothed him, before gently scooping him up off the cold stone. He left the doors to the balcony open to let in the much appreciated cool breeze and laid Voryn on the bed, letting him curl up. With gentle, clumsy hands he pulled the hair from his face once more, braiding it quickly and messily just to get it out of the way, tying it off. And then he went to the water pitcher in the room bringing a glass for Voryn and also soaking a rag, wiping it across his clammy forehead. 

Unworthy, Voryn’s mind hissed. How unworthy you are of his kindness when you would betray him so callously. How cruel you are to hurt him and lie to him just because you selfishly wanted him to love you back.

And his mind was correct—how could Voryn be worthy when he was only loyal right now because he got what he wanted? How is he worthy of Nerevar when he was so loving and kind like this, while Voryn hated and despised him in the past? He was selfish, greedy, and cruel to hurt the man he claimed to love because his affections weren’t returned. Not even that harlot Vivec slept with Ysmir Wulfharth just because he couldn’t have Nerevar.

“I think you ate something you shouldn’t have,” Nerevar’s voice was soft. “It clearly didn’t agree with your stomach.” Ah, how was he still so busy fussing over Voryn like this? Hadn’t Nerevar seen him in the past, so cruel and vile? How could Nerevar treat him so kindly now that Voryn didn’t deserve it? How could Neht love him after all that Voryn had done?

He only loves you because he lied to himself, the sinister voice in his mind whispers. He tells himself you didn’t mean it, that you were driven mad by divine power. How could he ever love you knowing all that you’ve done? He would hate you, just as much as you hate yourself.

[castle-dominion]

4x11 until death us do part

flirty BODY toxic waste XD at least he has a water bottle, these idiots never have water bottles. "forgot it" this is the saddest thing ever. esposito just watching in disgust I love it lmao they are so in love & it's nauseating like he said but it's also so cute. but the no solid food thing sounds dumb af.

JE: Well, I am looking forward to meeting some of Jenny's sorority sisters. I'm about to show them some of New York's finest. *does a dumb little dance* KR: Good, then I guess you won't care that Lanie's bringing a plus one. JE, looking sad af: Who? KR: Uh, I don't know. She just RSVPed “plus one”. JE: How can--? How can she already have a boyfriend? We just broke up. KB: Don't worry, Espo, I'm going alone, so if the sorority girls don't work out, I'll dance with you. Alexis wasn't invited as castle's family.

Castle is so right, if I have to die I'm going down happy. Unless I want to make less burden on the mortician bc I'm suicidal bc I'm a burden on ppl, then I'd probs go nakey. ALEXIS? birthday suit hit the fruit. JE: *concerned about some medical guy named antonio* KR: *yelling loud af out the window*

Ooh sexy classical music ew castle: Coldest hearted creature on earth. She lures an unsuspecting male, takes him into her web, and then the moment they culminate, as soon as he feels the ecstasy of achieving his biological destiny, [shup] she opens up her jaws and eats him alive. Ryan, softly saying to beckett: I'm glad I'm in a healthy relationship.

Ooh double identity! fun!

Lanie's phone records? is that illegal? *chokes on the green toxic waste* He's rly pretty btw. Nice tie, nice red vest, nice shirt+jacket+lapel pin. So many buttons on the cuff. & then esposito at least he is wearing smth with a collar. "I'll get you his name.." *eyes emoji*

He fell pretty hard too lmao. isn't that dead in ASL?

Remember who killed markiplier & he died a billion different ways? Maybe that was a different episode... Rick: Who's the date? Lanie: Rick: sry "you dog" he says to the dead guy

KR: Ms. Franklin, i—it seems that you weren't the only woman that-- that Mr. Bailey was, uh… with [good word] in the hours prior to his death. HF: Um, what you mean “with”? KR: Was there another woman in the hotel room with you? HF: I didn't think could get any more humiliating. KR: Was that a yes? HF: No, Detective. KR: Thank you. Oh, and you should know that our M.E. has been able to determine that Mr. Bailey was, uh, wearing a condom both times, so that's… [I mean yeah at least you don't have an std] HF: That makes it all better. [Holly gives Ryan an angry look and he walks away. Holly calls after him.] HF: Now I wished I pushed him!

Poor ryan, he is Not Eating All Fricking Week & esposito comes in with a donut (lmao cop stereotypes) this is so sad remember that incorrect quotes? "did u eat my powdered donut?" 'no' "then what's that white powder on you?" 'cocaine?' KR: blgahgh!

RC: Speaking of murder, what's the credit card for? How is that a speaking of which?

KB: Yeah, well, you haven't heard what I would do. RC: Yeah, I don't think I ever want to know. LITTLE MISS HOMICIDE DETECTIVE Beckett's eyes just Widen My brother: hahaha look at Ryan. You can see his eyes go all the way around the room. *whisper yells* ryan, Ryan Riyaaan!!! Look at ryan's pretty tie there. hehe.

How did they GET all these women? I thought he was just sleeping with them not actually dating them all... & he wasn't lying to them abt his name but he still could have been lying about everything else.

RC: That's a big month. Taking a leave from work and your girlfriends. KR: And his apartment. *shakes evidence bags & his toxic water he's so cute omfh* & esposito is wearing basically the shirt I wore the other day except I actually embroidered mine to look cool. JE: That's a lot of cake. Me: what? KR: Why do you have to call it cake? I-it's money. It's a lot of money. It's about 60 grand. That's a really good fake id...

Wow that really messed up the meeting lol This man has a really really fancy tie but I don't like it.

lmao a wrench & an opened up paperclip? You want two paperclips or two wrenches hun. I thought she was just jewish lol I didn't realize it was an airline insignia woah former isralei military now that's experience

KR: Ahh. Jenny just texted me Lanie's plus one. Name is Toby Lang. JE: What? All right. Let's check this punk out. [Esposito types the name into his computer. Toby Lang MD pops up.] JE: Doctor Toby Lang? The guy's the chief administrator at St. Samuel's Hospital. Big job. KR: Lanie did her residency there, didn't she? JE: Yeah. KR, happygolucky: Good looking guy. JE: *eyeroll* KR: *looks down* JE: Played college hoops at Kentucky? Groundbreaking cancer research, are you kidding me? Put me down for plus one. KR: Jenny already did the tables. JE: >:( KR, immediately backtracking: What about her sorority sisters? *does that weird little dance brushing off his jacket* JE: Dude, I'm not showing up solo when she's bringing Captain America over here. *jabs the computer screen* KR, willing to upset his wife's placecards for his best friend: Okay. I'll talk to Jenny. But her mom is gonna need a name for that place card.

She said whom captions said who.

Perfect timing lol They would not have done it where there were cameras right in front of it These randos bested an ex-military flight attendant huh

Ryan is so smart: KR: Hey, tech just got the plate number off the kidnappers car. KB: I thought that the plates weren't visible on the ATM footage. KR: Ah, they weren't. But I found a traffic cam up the block where they were. I was also wondering where esposito was KR: In the break room trying to score his plus one. KB, through the wall: Espo! Let's go! JE: *looks up at Beckett and his hand slips on the espresso machine, spraying his potential plus one with steamed milk. The cop squeals in surprise and Esposito hands her a napkin on his way out.* Sorry. I gotta-- I gotta go.

RC: Hey, relax, man. It happens to a lot of guys. You get a little exited, lose control of your steamer. JE: (poor muzzle control. At least they let him mkick in the door) WHOA MOSTLY NAKEY OK THEN Lol I remember getting so many black eyes & nosebleeds from my san dien guan. classical music <3

exstalktion lmao castle rattling off crews before they reveal they are "pickup artists" 12%... oh wait this was back when milfs were not loved by tumblr Pablo Barnes: Then I see that she's got a ring on her finger. She's a married chick. We stay away from married chicks. KB: 'Cause you're so ethical. (other room) Max Landon: pf! No. They're just trouble. But he doesn't care. He's all in on her.

Authorizing huh? I like how espt is taking notes for the case but is totally taking them for himself. m-swing? heisman? Butterjob? *ryan looks over at espt taking these notes, I think he's asking "what are you doing" with his hand* Yank & chain reversal Bailey ultimatum? ew yucky

Holy crap it is a ledger & the prop team actually filled it! zebra trap? *boys get a little too close in the face* (this scene from the transcript) [23:54, INT. PRECINCT, BULLPEN - NIGHT] [Castle flips through Mike's "ledger".] RC: It's literally hundreds of women that Bailey slept with. KB: Or so he claims. JE: Seems legit to me. Most of these shots are pretty racy. [Esposito leans in close to see the ledger over Castle's shoulder.] RC: All with nicknames and dates. "June 9, 2010 Carnal Carrie. June 12, 2010 Mesmerizing Marjan." JE: Mmm. [Castle turns his head & ends up within kissing distance of esposito, then backs away from Esposito's face.] RC: Whoa. JE: Sorry.

KR: Really? This impresses you? These women are pathetic for falling for this guy. And Bailey? Bailey was just a--a con man and a liar. KB: Thank you. At least there is one real man amongst us. inconsistency with the book being open & closed but I don't care. it's fine.

RC: Beckett, when exactly did Ryan and Jenny start dating? [weird how ryan is is last name] KB: Mm, I think it was around 2009. She got him that ugly tie for their two week anniversary. [I remember that episode] So, I think Easter April. RC: Meaning, by May 2009, they'd been dating a month. KB, disinterested: Yeah. Why? RC: ... RC, uncomfortable: Bailey's May 20, 2009 entry. [Castle flips the book around to show Beckett.] KB: Oh, my gosh. That's Jenny. [that's a big picture compared to the others] RC: (whisper) Not just Jenny. "Gyrating Jenny".

esposito making eyes at work. so dumb sometimes. then again I'm a lesbian I was dating my first partner for a month before we realized it

JE: I think I like this place, partner. [calls him partner <3] KR: Dude, you're a cop. This is a Midtown bar. Women here, they're looking for lawyers and bankers. JE: I bank. [yeah bud, you use a bank] *Ryan chuckles* KR: Well, you are on your own. I'm getting married on Sunday. [he's so smiley] JE: Exactly. So, this is your last chance to be my wingman, [yk that's cute] help me get a plus one. [ah yes] KR: *drops his notebook in his lap* JE: I think I'm gonna try an M-swig. [lmao from the pickup artists] KR: Dude, you can't be serious. JE: What, are you thinking butter job? [no esposito he was not saying you can't be serious about the m swing he was saying you can't be serious about this silly thing right before his wedding] *Ryan bites his lips trying not to say anything* ew writes really big like that? You probably go through notebooks hella fast then.

Castle doing dishes lmao forbes top 400 no f'ing wonder But these people aren't in his book so...

I feel like you /should/ tell ryan but big bro brought up what happened in m*a*s*h If it's more than 2 you can't say both anymore. it's the 21st century people sleep with other people before marriage. (reminds me of that incorrect quote I read for aftg: Nicky "what's your body count?" neil 'idk like 30' nicky "neil you slut" neil 'wait we were talking about sex? I'm a virgin.' Nicky "WAIT WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY 30?") especially that early on, like... I mean they had a fortnightversary tie gift so they must have really liked each other but I thought "what if they were just dating a bunch of different people but kept coming back on a date with this one person so we decided to make it official" but that doesn't fit with the two week gift. I mean I would suggest talking to jenny herself

goes by jd, so cute RC: So, who was the wingman, the grandpa or the kid? She's not just skipping out on her dad she's skipping out on ryan. except that she wasn't invited in the first place she's a plus one so who cares.

oh my goodness 2:30 in the morning? that's late af when you have work the next day! At least esposito looks good in his bisexual layers, leather jacket, hoodieWAIT trans headcanon except for yk military but shush. See? & that's how you carry your coat. Ryan is soooo pretty. He doesn't have an engagement ring tho rn which I think is cool ig bc he can wingman easier... I am sure that I have seen this clip around so I don't feel the need to record it except that I do. Great fight scene but poor ryan he is starving.

you always email yourself, have you never had a job or been in high school? corporate sexpionage

I think that the writer couldn't come up with a joke so had castle say "there's a penetrating enemy lines joke here" either that or they were all too dirty for tv. pretty pretty sweater. KR: The only reason you guys didn't run into her at Global Twelve Consolidated is that we're still holding her. Lmao they were holding her & that's why she wasn't there that's literally what he said but I just found it funny I can't wait for ryan to faint while on the case.

Is this lunch or supper chinese food? lil bro just said gold frankincense & myrhhder should be a castle episode so now I'm goingto write a fanfic based on it. I was just going to quote the first bit but then there was more & I could not find a good place to stop. KB: There's too big a pool of possible marks that Bailey could have slept with. JE: Yeah, uh…speaking of that. You know…Ryan's my boy, [<3]so I gotta tell him about Jenny and Bailey. [Beckett gives Castle a look.] RC: You only told me I couldn't tell Ryan. KB: (sigh) Look, Espo, I appreciate your point of view, but the guy hasn't eaten in a week and a half, and after that doughnut incident, I don't-- [yeah she's right now is not the time to handle it, but then again I said they should tell jenny & she has also not eaten for a week & a half.] *Ryan enters and stares at the Chinese food sitting on the table. He gingerly picks up a file from the center of the boxes* KR: I'll just take these back to my desk. [bc he doesn't want to be around food, poor guy, brings up my DE days] JE: Sit down, bro. KR: What? *looks around* What? *sits down* KR: Why do you guys look so serious? JE: You should…eat something. KB: Yeah. Look hungry. You've got the posture of a feral cat. KR: Guys, I made a sacred vow to the woman I love… RC: *moves a takeout box towards Ryan* KR: Is that Mushu pork? [Esposito continues chowing down the food.] JE: (muffled) Yes. It is delicious. Come on, bro, just eat. [Ryan grabs the food from Castle and digs in, groaning in pleasure.] KR: (muffled) you're not kidding about this Mushu pork. Come on! JE: Right? KR: (muffled) Would you pass the spring rolls, please? JE: Yeah. So… *passes the box* JE: You know how we all love Jenny, right? KR: Yeah, what about her? JE: Well, it's just that…that ledger of Bailey's… KR, interrupting: Hey, is she in that? I've been meaning to ask, but I have been having these--these memory lapses. [which is so not ok, esp for a detective] Mm, pass the fried rice? RC: Yeah. *hands Ryan the box* RC: So, you've known all along? KR: No. I was telling Jenny about Javi's antics last night. [first names bc this was javi not esposito] *Beckett gives Esposito a look.* KR: And we got to talking about the case, and she told me that she met Bailey at a bar a month or so after we started out. JE: She told you about that???? KR: (chuckles) Yeah. She had no idea that he was some kind of professional pickup artist. Ha! RC: And you're not upset at all? KR: I'm-- um… *looks around* it's not like we were exclusive. [points for the polyam o'ryspolly hcs.] Mm, is that Mongolian beef? *Beckett smiles at Esposito and Castle's reactions. An officer enters. She hands Ryan a note.* Di: Here you go. KR: Thanks, Di. *Ryan reads the note.* KR: Oh! Get this. [he's been so happy since putting food in his mouth.] So, I've been trying to figure out where else Bailey might've been staying for the past month, and when we got onto his corporate spying for Global Twelve Consolidated, I looked into their corporate housing. KB: That's-- a great idea. RC: Yeah. Why didn't I think of that? [yeah, esp since he's the one starving himself.] KR: Turns out Mike Bailey has been checked into the Oaks on Park Avenue for the last month under his alias, Jake Hendricks. KB: Well, what are you sitting around for? *Ryan gets up quick & excited but hesitates as he reaches back for some food.* KR: Uh, do you mind if I take a spare rib? *Castle hands Ryan a takeout box.*

lil bro: maybe it's dr parish bc she deals with people who perish

First names but as someone with a mispronounced name I hate when they call him javieérre with three syllables & a big r instead of javyer' with two (& a half) syllables & a tapped r.

"yeah I bet" lmao

should have been the guy then it should have been the lawyer & then it was some rando.

Ryan eating a donut again <3 he's alive! & he is using a tissue to protect his hands<3 KR: haha, I'm just glad I'm out of the game. RC: The games are only beginning for you, my friend. KB: Hey, so what's up with your plus one? JR: Oh, it's on. That's all I'm saying.

marriage love marriage love wedding I can't believe it I'm so happy for him

[Esposito stands with a gorgeous woman taller than he is (at least in heels). Lanie enters with her doctor date.] JE: Lanie, hey. LP: Hello, Javier. This is Toby. TL: Pleased to meet you. JE: Yeah, you too. This is Jody. LP: Nice to meet you. Jody: Pleasure. Excuse me, I need to find the ladies' room. *Lanie watches Jody saunter off.* TL: Um, you two talk. I'll get us seats. LP: Thank you, Toby. JE: Toby, huh? LP: What do you mean, "Toby, huh"? JE: I don't know, you tell me. LP: You and I broke up two months ago. So, unless you thought I'd joined a convent, you need to take a step back. [Yeah bud two months is not "we just broke up" but it is a short amount of time in some ways] JE: So, you two serious now? LP: Yeah, we're serious. About dancing. [I loooove dancing, that's how ogdoch got together, I know plenty of people who aren't lovers but are dance partners, I love going to Métis fiddle dances, I can't wait to learn more swing, I've had enough salsa but I could always go for more, I have hade more than enough ballroom dancing but I wouldn't mind more as long as it's fun...] LP: That's why his boyfriend let me borrow him. Besides, I figured I'd need somebody to keep my company while you flirted with all of Jenny's sorority sisters. JE: Toby's boyfriend? *points back to the doctor* LP: And I seem to recall you here with the center for the New York Liberty. JE: She's my cousin. I heard you were coming with a date, so I thought I had to have somebody… you look great, you know. LP: Yeah, I know. JE: Can I show you to your seat? LP: That would be nice. *Lanie takes Esposito's arm and they enter the church.* they are so cute. I recently in my normal watch heard lanie mention the occasional booty call which I think is hilarious, & then a more recent ep was the valentine's ep & I think it was soooo cute.

they are not together? I can't believe it, caskett are too good together. Tho tb beckett doesn't look super great rn. He looks so happy! & she snaps a photo! Ohhhhhh uwu uwu they hug & kiss but then castle & esposito are so boring barely even shaking his hand He's getting married today! He is getting married to the love of his life (besides his other partner) & he is so happy & in love! becks preventing him from turning around esposito is one of the groomsmen I'm assuming on his right our left is nolan jenny's half brother but who the heck is the guy on the other side?

[cheolkanojo]

BAMBIIIII AKDHSKDJ I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF REPLYING TO OUR CONVO WHEN I ACCICENTALLY CLICKED UR BLOG AND SAW THE UPDATE AKDHSKDJA I IMMEDIATELY RUSHED HERE AAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

as usual, lemme scream abt EVERYTHING

(warning: there will be an overuse of the crying and heartbroken emoji. and it’s YOUR fault)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE START IS SO SO DOMESTIC IM SO?!?!:&:)*{% 😭😭😭 NOT THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE HOW THEIR TOOTHBRUSH ARE NEXT TO E/O AND HOW CHEOL HOLDS HER THROUGH THE PHONECALL?!?!&/)3!: MY HEART CANT TAKE THIS???? THIS IS TOO SWEET BUT WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED AFTERWARDS EXCUSE ME?!?! 💀💀💀💀 oh god DAMMIT I SHOULD’VE KNOW WHEN YOU SAID IT’S CALM BEFORE THE STORM. ain’t no drama w/o some good misunderstanding 🥹 💔 when u say cheol’s not smart with his words lemme just say he’s a freaking DUMBASS

(BUT HOW THE HELL DID YOU STILL MAKE CHERRY’S RUNAWAY SCENE SO COMEDIC OH MY GOD AKDHSKDHSK YEAH GO BURN THOSE LEGOS, GURL 😭😭)

oh shit OH SHIT IM CRYING OVER HER CONVO WITH JEONGHAN AAAAHHH HANNIE IS SUCH A THOUGHTFUL PERSON 😭😭😭 THIS PART IS SO SWEET OMGGG SKDHSKFJDKD “you deserve more” IM NOT SOBBING HUWAAAAAAA why is hannie so sweet i cant take this anymore 😭💔😭💔

ah… the scene back home broke my heart sm 😢💔 it’s just… so sad that she has to think that she’s losing her friends/the people she met through cheol just bcs of her sort of?? broken?? relationship with cheol 💔 THIS BREAKS MY HEART UGHHHHHH EVERYTHING ABT THIS SCENE BREAKS MY HEART. the way she thinks of cheol and thinks of her feelings for him… the way she FINALLY admits abt the things she feels around him YET ALSO BEING IN DENIAL BCS OF THEIR FIGHT… IM SO SAD

I MISS THEM I MISS CHEOLCHERRY SO MUCH AAAAAAA 😭😭💔💔

…sigh. here we go again. FUCK YOUUUUU HAJUNNNN 👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻 oh yeah if i was mad the chapter before THIS ONE IS JUST ☠️☠️☠️☠️ im not gonna lie this part was kind of triggering so i kinda skimmed over it ajdhskdh 😭

but AHAHAHAH FINALLY. FINALLY!!!! FINALLY CHEOL SNAPS AND JUST TELLS HAJUN TO FUCK OFF. I AM VERY VERY SATISFIED 😁😁 RATING THIS 100/10. i love how sassy cherry is here tho lololol AND GAHHHH I LOVE HOW ASSERTIVE AND INTIMIDATING CHEOL IS HERE AAAAAAA FINALLYYYY 😭😭😭 finally he’s treating hajun as she DESERVES 👎🏻👎🏻

((im sorry im having so much fun seeing how pathetic hajun is before she leaves))))

ah yes, to their convo tho. AAAAAAAAKDHSJD now we’re back to being sad 🥲🥲🥹🥹😭😭😭😭😭 oh god cherry dont u understand how WHIPPED choi seungcheol is for you?!?! w/o this scene happening i just KNOW he’ll be there for her show!!! HAAAH it’s just SO SAD seeing her losing hope towards every nice things she built with cheol. like her friendship w/ their mutual friends. and the feelings the have for e/o. 💔💔💔

(at the very least, her home starts to feel more like home… and it’s nice to know that 🥹🥹 altho seoah’s timing w/ the call is just too… 💀💀)

when their eyes meet again for the last time… NAURRRRRR IM SO HEARTBROKENNNN “it ranges from longing to worry to hope” I AM CRYINGGGGGGGG 😭😭😭 and it’s the fact that cherry herself possibly still hopes to be with him too— SIGHHHH

AAAAAAAA HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO MEEE BAMBIIIII the start was all domestic and then BOOM THE WHOLE CHAPTER IS JUST ANGST 😭😭💔💔 BUT I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF READING IT…

also it’s. kinda. idk? ironic? that the title pretty please stay with me probably, at first, sounds like it comes from cherry, but now it’s cheol who seems rly rly scared of losing her… 🥹🥹💔💔 (another idea for a bonus scene if you ever feel like writing one tho: cheol’s pov of 4 weeks of cherry’s absence 😋 i want him suffering LMAO)

also WHATTTT the next chapter is the last chapter?!?! AKDHSKDHSKDHS i both can’t wait and DON’T WANT THIS SERIES TO END SO QUICKLY… 😭😭😭 but i do want to appreciate you for coming so far! every chapter has been amazing and super impactful!! and you even update regularly, wow, you’re truly amazing 😭😭✨✨

again, thank you so so much for writing this (no i wont stop saying this. you need to know how grateful i am to you bcs thx to pretty please i have sth to look forward every weekend 😭)

this comment is so long wtf. im sorry. i guess i got overexcited AKDHSKDJSK okay it’s almost 1 am here i need to sleep now lolol

last but not least, as usual, CHEOL LOVES AND ADORES YOU ♥️♥️ and so do i 🫶🏻✨

pretty please (stay with me) || c.sc || 5

“After being assigned a fashion show for your big senior project, you set off to find volunteers to make it successful. However, when you meet Choi Seungcheol and his unfriendly clique through your volunteers, you realize they’re an unwanted package deal you can’t escape from. Can you handle Seungcheol’s obnoxious friends, and can he handle your brash behavior?”

🍒 Pairing: businessMajor!Seungcheol x fashionMajor!Reader (afab)

🍒 Rating/Genres/AUs: M(18+); Slice of life (!!!), slow burn, drama, fluff, angst; Unrequited enemies to lovers, strangers to lovers, college au

🍒 Warnings: General tws + seungcheol's not smart with his words, name calling not in bed (bitch), mention of murder (jokingly), slut-shaming

🍒 WC: 11.6k

🍒 Betas: Sarah, Indi, Kelly, Freya 🤩

🍒 Author’s Note: I love seeing everyone's reactions to the chapters so far! The last chapter was the calm before the storm, so prepare for lots of angst in this chapter 🫣 Thank you for reading, and please enjoy the early upload ♥️

also read here: AO3 | Wattpad

seventeen masterlist | main masterlist

previous chapter \\ pretty please masterpost // next chapter

Waking up in Seungcheol's bed is a lot more relaxing this time.

Partly because Seungcheol has your back pressing against his chest, an arm slung over your body, and his head nestled against yours. You rest an arm over his as you take a deep breath, recalling the memories from last night. The events flash in front of you as if you’re clicking through a view master. From Dae and you drinking to both of you on the floor, to hitting Hajun, to the argument you had with Seungcheol, to having his body moving with yours.

You thought you were going to get closure last night, but you only opened the wound wider. It’s going to be harder to stay away from him. At this point, you don’t want to either. You just need to find a way to stop seeing his business friends every time you see Seungcheol. If anything, you are more willing to find alternatives than completely push him out of your life.

Seungcheol stirs behind you, body untangling from yours to switch sides. You think he’s going to get up, but he just stills again. You peer over your shoulder to look at him. He has his back to you now, so you can’t see his face. You decide to let him rest longer since it’s the weekend, after all.

You carefully climb out of bed and put on the hoodie and boxers he had given you last night. You walk to his bathroom, ready to freshen up, only to remember you didn’t come with anything. 

Your eyes land on his toothbrush. You can snoop around until you find a new one, but you don't want to risk his privacy. You can just use your finger… Ah, whatever, you’ll ask him really quickly, then let him go back to sleep.

Padding back to the bed, you carefully kneel in front of him. 

Seungcheol has never been unattractive, yet you didn’t find him that handsome initially. Though right now, he looks beyond stunning. Strands of his hair lay in front of his face, and his lips are in their natural downward position. Nothing has changed in his appearance from when you first met him, so why does your heart flutter at the sight of him at this moment?

Sighing at your never-ending thoughts, you reach out and shake him gently.

“Seungcheol?” you ask softly so as to not scare him awake. You expect to have to wiggle him a few more times, but he wakes up instantly. His eyes find yours easily and fill with worry as he starts to sit up. You begin to feel guilty waking him up for a silly toothbrush.

“You alright? Are you hurt?” he asks. His morning voice is as deep as you remember. Although it’s still attractive, you find it cute now. You’d fall asleep around him more just so you could hear his voice the next morning.

You give him a tiny reassuring smile. “I’m okay. I just wanted to know if I could have a spare toothbrush.”

Upon hearing your words, his body relaxes. He sits up fully and swings his legs over the edge of the bed. The covers fall down his body, pooling in his lap. You forgot he is naked. Now with the morning light, you can see his chest clearer. You had felt every inch of it last night, even saw it due to his lamp, but seeing it in a new light is another joy. Or perhaps it’s because your mind isn’t as cloudy.

“Of course, baby,” he rasps. The small chuckle accompanied by his response is low, and you want to hear it again.

Seungcheol steps from the bed, letting the cover fall half on the floor. You shake your head at his carelessness. While he retrieves a pair of sweats from his dresser, you pick up the cover from the floor.

“You could’ve just left it there,” he smiles as he strolls past you into the bathroom. You can’t help but make a mental correction in your daydreams—Seungcheol would wear sweats without a shirt.

“It was going to bother me,” you reply and turn to watch him. He leans down, opens the lower cabinet, and digs around until he lifts an unboxed toothbrush.

“For you,” he says and tilts it in your direction. You take it and free the brush. Seungcheol takes the trash from you as he stands, then points to the toothpaste on the counter. “Feel free to use it, okay?”

You nod. “Thank you. I’ll give you a new one in return,” you reply, starting to prep the toothbrush.

“Don’t worry about it.”

Seungcheol tosses the trash in the bin next to the sink, then pauses in his actions, as if debating on what to do. After a second, he quickly grabs his own toothbrush. You watch him silently while you brush your teeth. Soon, Seungcheol is copying your actions, giving you a smile in the mirror when he catches your stare. Your heart twists with affection, and seeing both your reflections—dressed in casual wear and doing a simple act—is all too domestic. 

Almost as if this is something that is normal for you two, but it isn’t. Not liking how comfortable you are starting to feel, you quickly rinse your mouth. Seungcheol reaches down and holds your hair back as you do so. Once you’re done, Seungcheol grabs the brush and places it in the container. He rinses his mouth next before setting his toothbrush down next to yours.

Who knew seeing two toothbrushes next to each other would be the cause of your mental spiral?

You walk from the bathroom and into the living room, trying to find your purse. He follows you slowly.

“You’re not about to make me a one-night stand, are you?” he asks. His voice is playful, but you know it isn’t a rhetorical question.

You think about it, but unfortunately, he’s your ride. The only other person you can call right now is hung over at another person’s apartment.

“I just wanted to see if Dae was okay,” you answer.

“Oh, right,” he says, seeming to have forgotten about her predicament. It doesn’t bother you, though. She isn’t his concern. “I put it over here.”

You turn to see him grabbing it. You walk over, taking it from him before fishing out your phone. Ah, of course. Dead.

Your pout must be evident on your face, because Seungcheol asks, “What’s wrong?”

You flip the phone over to show a black screen.

“No power,” you sigh and toss the useless brick of a phone back into your purse.

Seungcheol glances around, then leaves to grab something from another part of the room. It’s his phone.

He presses a few things on the screen before lifting the device to his ear.

“Hey,” he says and moves to sit on the couch. When he pats the spot next to him, you go over. 

“Yeah, she’s fine,” he continues.

From a close distance, you can faintly hear Joshua on the other end.

“That’s good,” Joshua says. “Dae’s up. She wasn’t doing too well earlier, but she seems better now.”

“Speaking of, Yn wanted to talk to her. Can you give the phone over?”

“Sure thing,” he answers.

Seungcheol gives you the phone with a small smile.

“Thanks,” you mutter and bring the phone to your ear. You lean back on the couch so your head is against the armrest. Seungcheol places your legs over his lap and begins massaging your calves. You give him a smile at his actions, his strong hands feeling nice against your skin. The sight of him shirtless doing a mundane act has butterflies forming in your tummy. You’re about to daydream about him, but Dae’s loud voice snaps you away from those thoughts.

“Did I really puke on you?!” Dae gasps on the other side. You pull the device from your ear slightly at the loud noise.

“Yeah, so not only do you owe me a pair of heels, you owe me a whole outfit too,” you tease.

“Pluh-ease, just take something of Seungcheol’s and call it a deal. I’m sure he’s got some designer clothes you can steal.”

Your eyes snap to him at her suggestion. Seungcheol has his focus on your legs, acting like he isn’t listening in, but the smile on his lips tells you he is.

“I don’t need his clothes,” you reply with a huff. “I just wanted to see if you were okay.”

“Considering I’m at a cute stranger’s apartment, in a cute stranger’s room, I’m doing just peachy.”

“You think Joshua is cute?” you ask. Okay, so this isn’t the time for girls talk, but the question leaves your lips before you can stop it.

Dae giggles. “A little. Don’t you?”

Seungcheol’s hands squeeze your legs as if challenging you to say yes.

Despite agreeing with Dae, you answer with a shrug, “He’s not ugly.”

Hopefully, that’s good enough to save your ass.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Dae concludes.

Your eyes flicker to Seungcheol to see his reaction. There’s a hint of a pout on his plump lips. You hold back a laugh. Still a baby, you think with a shake of your head.

“Hey, did those assholes leave you alone eventually? I started to black out. I don’t quite remember,” Dae wonders.

At the mention of Hajun and Hana, you avert your gaze from Seungcheol. 

“Sort of,” you trail off. They didn’t, but you don’t want to bad mouth Seungcheol’s friends in front of him. Not that it probably matters; it’s not a surprise you don’t get along. 

“It’s fine. Nothing I can’t handle.” You try to dismiss the topic.

“To an extent, Yn. I know you,” she says, more serious now. “Remember, don’t let them get to you. They’re the real whores. Oh, did they ever take that picture?”

Knowing Dae doesn’t want to let up on the conversation. You start to retract your legs from Seungcheol so you can go to another room. However, he grips your legs so you can’t move. You eye him confused, but he still doesn’t look at you. Sighing, you lay back down.

“I don’t know,” you answer honestly.

“Hm. I think Joshua stopped them. He said when he came out, neither of them had their phones out.”

“T-that’s good.”

“I just wanted to ask in case you saw otherwise,” she explains. “I know what I said before, but you’re right. Seungcheol should really lose them as friends.”

You speak fast before she can dive into the topic further.

“Look, I just called to see—”

“Well, besides that. Was Seungcheol nice to you last night?” she interrupts.

Your hands start to play with his hoodie as you try to ignore the fact he can hear everything. The answer depends on which part of the night she wants to refer to. He was not nice the first half, but the second half… You feel a shiver run down your spine at the thought of you two in bed. His hands and lips over your body as he made you feel so, so good.

Not wanting Seungcheol to question your response, you semi-lie, “Yes.”

“Hm,” she pauses. You can tell she thinks you’re lying by your delayed answer. “Did something happen between you two?”

Yes.

“No.”

Dae giggles. “I knew you liked him! You did the two-person tango with him, huh? You send me off to be babysat so you can have some freaky time.”

“Dae!” you scold and pull your legs from Seungcheol’s lap despite him trying to stop you again.

She gasps on the other line. “You haven’t had se—”

You jolt from the couch and briskly walk to the other side of the room.

“I should get going. I’m glad you’re fine though,” you rush.

“Alright, alright. We’ll talk later about that,” she laughs. “Do you need me to get Joshua to pick you up?” she asks. You finally looked at Seungcheol again. He’s looking at you now, face unreadable. Your heart races a little at not knowing what he’s thinking.

“No, I can get Seungcheol to drop me off.”

“Okay. I’ll be home soon and will probably go back to sleep.”

“Alright. Get back safely,” you reply.

“You too, Yn.”

You hang up the call and slowly walk toward him to give the phone back. You hate how silent it is.

“Pretend you didn’t hear anything,” you tell him.

You expect him to bring up your fight with his friends again, but instead, he asks about another part. One that takes you by surprise.

“You were a virgin?” His voice comes out hushed, but it’s so quiet you have no trouble hearing it. Rather than sounding frightened like some others may, he sounds doubtful. To your disappointment, he even chuckles under his breath.

Before you can completely digest his words, he adds, “So, I wasn’t number sixty-seven?”

Your body halts. 

Although you aren’t a virgin, you feel hurt by his implication that you sleep around. It’s then you recall Dae on the phone. You cut her off before she could finish her sentence. You haven’t had sex in a while, having dumped your ex for being a douche and not wanting to hook up with some rando from a bar in the meantime.

“You think I’ve slept with everyone on campus?” you ask, trying to keep your voice steady as you look for your ruined outfit from last night. There’s a sense of foreboding as you await his reply.

“Well, maybe not everyone,” he says slowly and raises his head to look at you. There’s a teasing tone hidden somewhere in that sentence, but you don’t find it funny.

You stare at him incredulously, your movements halting at his words. Is he serious right now? You’re not sure where this is coming from, but you don’t need to hear more. Wherever your outfit is, it can stay there. You don’t care about it that much to last another minute here looking for it.

“Ah, right. I just have people lining up as I keep my legs spread. Oh! But there are always newcomers that enroll. We can’t forget them, so you’re right. Not everyone,” you hiss out, mind ripping up every pleasurable thought you ever had about Seungcheol. All those minutes thinking of him are wasted in a blink of an eye.

“That’s not what I meant,” he replies with a shake of his head, standing up. “I meant you’re just too pretty to have not had se—”

“What a fucking pig,” you berate. “Being pretty doesn’t have anything to do with being a virgin or not. I can be pretty without being a whore.”

Panic rises in his eyes. “You’re right. I didn’t mean—I just… Shit.” He closes his eyes tightly for a moment, but you don’t wait for him to collect his thoughts.

“I see why you let your friends talk shit about me now,” you say as you snatch your purse from where you left it. You lock eyes with him when you continue, “It’s because you agree with them.”

It’s like the light bulb above your head suddenly turns on. 

You know it was unlikely he wouldn't ditch those friends, but you thought you could deal with it if you didn’t have to see them. You could visit Seungcheol somewhere in private or with your mutual friends instead. You would have found ways to be with him because your feelings for him were too strong to overlook. Though, now you saw that would never happen. It truly was all an illusion.

And you were right earlier.

He already thinks bad of you.

“That’s not true at all,” Seungcheol urges. “I’m sorry. I was just surprised and joking before. I didn’t use my words correctly. Hear me out, Cherry.”

He definitely did not sound surprised earlier, and his “jokes”… Yeah. His words were ass. And so is he. 

You take a deep inhale, fanning the flames so as to not let your heart feel anything but anger.

“Joking... You and those ‘friends’ of yours always tell such hilarious jokes,” you laugh dryly and turn for his door. Recalling you don’t have a car, your gaze lands on his face. Well, since you are already a bitch in his eyes, might as well bring that persona to life.

“Where are you going? You’re not even dressed. Yn, stop! Just stay here, and let’s talk,” he implores, rushing to you.

You forgot you’re just in his hoodie and boxers. Heck, you don’t even have shoes on. None of that matters to you, though.

You quickly whip around to face him.

“I’m so terribly sorry,” you over-exaggerate your apology as you reach behind you. “I can’t stay any longer. My one o’clock fuck is waiting for me.”

Your hand snatches his keys then you’re storming out of his apartment. You hear him yelling after you, but you ignore it while you rush to find his car before he can catch you. 

Voices to your right catch your attention, which has you sighing with relief when you see familiar, friendlier faces. You’re not sure how they always pop up around you, but you aren’t complaining for once.

Chan, Jun, and Soonyoung are walking toward you while they chat. They don’t notice you at first, but the sound of your feet hitting the pavement catches their attention.

“Yn?!” Jun exclaims, eyes big at seeing you.

“What are you wearing? Where are your clothes?!” Soonyoung asks. His shocked expression quickly turns into concern.

“Yn’s here?” another voice asks. Jeonghan stands by the driver’s seat of the car the others got out of. He props an arm on the top of the vehicle, his door still open. You’ve never been happier to see his face.

“Yn!” Seungcheol’s voice calls out behind you. You don’t bother looking back and quickly maneuver around the three men to get in the car. Thankfully, it isn’t locked yet.

“Where are your clothes?” Chan asks Seungcheol.

“Jeonghan, get your ass in the car now, or I’m going to burn your legos,” you threaten quickly as you buckle, remembering his precious Lego collection you once saw in his room.

“Aish,” he grumbles and gets in, shutting the door. You quickly lock the doors and then point to the road.

“Drive now,” you demand.

“Woah, just calm down. Why are—”

There is a loud knock at your window, and you see Seungcheol’s face appear.

“Yn, please just come out. I can explain,” he begs.

You glare at Jeonghan, one that is a lot fiercer than you’ve ever given him.

“You think I’m joking about your fucking legos?” you growl, a finger pointing in his direction.

“Seungcheol’s going to beat my ass,” he whines as he starts the car.

“And I’m going to beat yours and burn down your Le—”

“I got it,” Jeonghan huffs and glances at Seungcheol apologetically.

“Jeonghan, I swear if you fucking drive off, I will—” Seungcheol growls from outside the car.

“Sorry, my grandma suddenly needs me!” Jeonghan shouts before he backs out of the spot, slowly at first so he doesn't run over Seungcheol’s feet, not that you care, then speeds out of the parking lot.

You glance in the side mirror, seeing Seungcheol still yelling as the other men watch, confused and shocked behind him. Your eyes finally tear away when they become little specks in the distance. A sigh leaves your lips as you allow your body to sag in the seat, head tilting back.

“There’s a jacket in the back if you want it,” Jeonghan says softly.

You glance back and find it folded on the seat. You grab it, draping it over your bare legs. “Thanks.”

He sighs. “Now, do you want to tell me what that was about?”

“Seungcheol’s an asshole.”

Your reply is curt. You think that’s a good enough reason to leave him in the dust.

“Okay,” Jeonghan answers slowly, “but that was a pretty big fight you two had.”

“Seungcheol’s a really big asshole,” you correct.

Jeonghan chuckles lightly. “Alright. Then explain your attire.”

“Dae puked on me last night; Seungcheol let me borrow clothes.”

“He didn’t give you pants?”

“He did,” you trail off. You don’t want to tell him you just didn’t put them on again this morning. How would you explain how they got discarded in the first place?

He’s silent for a moment, trying to put the puzzle together himself.

“Where’s Dae?” he wonders. You’re grateful he decides to let it go.

“Probably at home by now… Can you drop me off there?” you ask. You can’t go home dressed the way you are. Dae will probably be sleeping, as she told you, but a few loud knocks should wake her up.

“Sure. What’s the address?”

You inform him quickly then glance out the window. The sun is shining and the clouds are out. You can’t remember how it feels outside since you were only focused on getting out of there. 

Jeonghan doesn’t say anything for a few minutes, letting the sound of the car on the road fill the empty space.

“Whatever Seungcheol did, I hope he can fix it. I know he cares about you,” Jeonghan comments.

Your gaze drops down to your lap. The hoodie you wear comes back into view. You hate how you can still smell him.

“I don’t think he can,” you reply. 

Your mind goes back to what he said to you. Anger was the only emotion fueling you at the time, but now that you’re settling down and your mind is becoming clearer, several emotions creep into your chest. 

Betrayal. Distress. Crestfallen.

Jeonghan releases a small breath. “That bad?”

“Yeah, Jeonghan. He really messed up.”

The ride is quiet now. While you are grateful, you actually wish Jeonghan kept talking. At least then, you would be distracted from your thoughts. 

Seungcheol was just holding you tenderly hours ago. Your body tingles at the mere memory of his gentle touch. He was acting so sweet toward you. For those blissful hours, you felt like you were his. Was he acting? Had he wanted you for different reasons?

Tears prick at your eyes, but you blink them back. You don’t want to cry in front of Jeonghan. You refuse to. 

When you arrive, Jeonghan parks the car and gets out of the vehicle. He comes around to your door and opens it, holding out a hand. For a moment, you imagined his hand is Seungcheol’s. He would always open your door and help you out.

“You don’t have to walk me there,” you say, words mimicking what you’ve told Seungcheol before in the past.

“You’re barely dressed. I’m not risking anything,” he replies. His light, cheerful voice is stern now, and you know he isn’t going to change his mind.

People stare at you strangely in the elevator, but when they peer up at Jeonghan, who stands behind you—something about you hiding your front and him your back—they quickly avert their gaze.

It takes four loud bangs on her door until Dae opens it. Her half-lidded eyes open quickly at your state.

“Am I drunk again? Why does Seungcheol look like Jeonghan?” she asks.

“You’re not drunk. It is Jeonghan,” you reply, then turn to him. “Thank you for driving. I really appreciate it.”

You hope the sincerity in your words is conveyed with your tone. Given the non-cocky smile on his face, you know he understands.

“Even though I’m friends with Seungcheol, know I’m your friend too, Yn. If you need me, you have my number,” Jeonghan says.

You’re not sure if you will ever take him up on his offer since it’s unclear where his loyalties lie between you and Seungcheol, but his intentions are kind, and you’re grateful nonetheless. He starts to walk away but you reach out to stop him.

“Wait,” you quickly say. You pull a set of keys from the hoodie’s pocket. “Give these back to Seungcheol for me? Or toss them in a lake, I don’t care, but take them, please.”

Dread fills Jeonghan’s face when he notices what they’re for. He reluctantly takes the keys from your hand.

“He’s really going to kill me now.”

Luckily for both you and Jeonghan, Seungcheol does not murder him.

For him, it means he has another day to finish his Lego tower. For you, it means he can finish those flyers he promised you.

“There should be twenty-five in there,” Minghao says while pointing to the stack of papers in your hands.

Minghao and Jeonghan completed the flyers for your show, and you are at the latter’s apartment to pick them up. You flip through them quickly—having already seen mock-ups earlier. There are six of each element plus one extra to turn into Dr. Lim.

“These look great, guys,” you say as you finish looking at them again.

“Thanks,” Jeonghan says. “You need help putting them up?”

You raise your eyebrows at him. “You’re really offering to help more?”

“You’re not that bad to work with,” Minghao chuckles, standing from his seat to grab his bag. He came to see if you needed anything else before his class.

“Speak for yourself, Hao—Ow!”

Jeonghan whines when you smack his arm with the flyers.

“Kidding, Yn,” he grumbles, “but yes, we will help you. You’re our friend.”

Their friend.

After years of just having Dae, it’s odd to think you actually have more friends—a lot of them, for that matter. It’s not like you gained two new friends this semester. No, you gained thirteen. Fourteen, if you count Seungcheol, but is he really a friend? Do friends make your heart soar with just a glance? Are friends able to take your heart and leave you feeling like an empty husk? It doesn’t matter now. He isn’t in your life. If he was your friend then, he isn’t anymore.

“If you leave some here, we’ll hang them up later,” Minghao instructs.

You gaze at him, letting yourself focus on what is happening now. You can sorrow in the privacy of your four walls later.

Sighing, you nod and sort a few flyers out from the stack. You place them on Jeonghan’s coffee table.

“Thanks. Just let me know which buildings you put them up in,” you say. “It’ll just save me time in the future.”

“No problem. Well, I’m glad you like them! I should get going before I’m late,” Minghao replies with a small smile on his face. He gives you both a wave before exiting the apartment.

Once Minghao is gone, Jeonghan looks at you. “What are the plans today?”

You shrug. It probably will consist of finishing bringing your designs to life or maybe taking Seoah to get something to eat. Anything to keep yourself busy from your mind.

“Not sure yet,” you reply.

“You know, I’m kind of hurt you didn’t ask me to be one of your models,” Jeonghan says with a playful smile. “Mingyu’s overrated.”

You laugh lightly, rolling your eyes at his latter comment. “Mingyu has the face and body of a model. You…?”

You trail off as your eyes glide down his body teasingly. Jeonghan sits up when he sees what you’re doing, trying to pose nonchalantly.

“Mingyu doesn’t have this hair, though,” Jeonghan comments. His semi-long locks are tied in a half-up-half-down style. It looks good, but you aren’t going to admit that to him.

“True, and thank goodness for that.”

“Hey!”

You laugh at his reaction. “I just didn’t want to overbook you,” you finally explain. “You were already helping me with these flyers.”

“That’s thoughtful of you,” he answers.

“Don’t get used to it,” you huff and start picking up your purse. It’s getting late, and there’s no reason to stay longer.

“Wait, I have something for you,” Jeonghan rushes.

“I already have the flyers,” you say and gesture to the stack.

He smiles, shaking his head as he stands. “Something else.”

You watch as he jogs to his room. There are sounds of things moving around before Jeonghan yells for you to close your eyes. After arguing for a second, you finally relent.

“Are they closed?” he asks from his room.

“They’re not about to be if you take any longer,” you grumble.

You listen to his footsteps become louder as he approaches. Suddenly something is set in your lap.

When Jeonghan instructs you to open your eyes, you peep down to see a bag. Jeonghan gestures to it when you don't open it right away. Hesitantly, you reach inside.

Your hands meet something textured, and you grip it gently to pull it out.

“H-how’d you get this?” you ask slowly. Your wide eyes don’t mask the surprise you feel upon seeing the fabric you had been wanting to get so badly a few weeks ago. However, instead of navy blue, it’s red.

Jeonghan shrugs and watches you nervously. “Do you like it?”

“I—” you start but for once, you are out of words. 

You lay the fabric over your lap as you admire the sheerness, small specks of glitter scattering across the surface. You aren’t able to use it as you originally planned since you’ve already adjusted the design to not use the fabric, and it’s also the wrong color. Regardless, it’s too beautiful to not use in some way.

You are about to thank him when you remember the cost. It isn’t the same color, but it’s the same design and brand, which means it’s probably just as expensive. 

“This was a lot of money,” you state and glance up at Jeonghan. His eyes are roaming around the room then moving to look at you when you speak. “You shouldn’t have bought this.”

Jeonghan smiles, albeit a little bittersweet for a reason you aren’t sure of. “We do a lot of things we shouldn’t when we like someone.”

“Is that your way of saying you like me?” you wonder, folding the fabric to place in the bag again. You mean “like” in a platonic way and hope Jeonghan understands this.

“I do,” he chuckles lightly. “You put up a tough front, but you’re not too bad of a friend.”

Your smile is small at his response. Glad you don’t have to have an awkward conversation about which version of “like” you mean.

“Too bad?” you tease and stand up, your bag and purse on your arm.

Jeonghan tilts his head. “You did threaten to burn my Legos three weeks ago. That wasn’t very friendly.”

“Just imagine that I said that lovingly,” you answer, forcing the memory of that day from your mind. Although you know it won’t be that easy since it already keeps resurfacing.

“Right,” he responds, dragging out the word in a knowing smile. He walks you to the door when he sees you’re ready to leave. He opens the door, watching as you step out with his head resting against the side of the frame.

“Jeonghan?” you say after taking a few steps away. You turn to look at him. He wears that same bittersweet smile on his lips from earlier.

“Yn,” he responds.

“Thank you for… for the fabric. That was very kind of you, and I—” you pause as you try to voice your truest thoughts. It still doesn’t come easy, but you want him to know how grateful you are. “I don’t know if I deserved it.”

“I think you deserve more, but that can be a topic for another day. Get home safely, Yn,” Jeonghan replies as he lifts his head from the door.

You stay still for a moment. His words register in your head slowly while you stare at him. You’ve experienced Jeonghan being nice to you despite his constant jokes, but he’s never said anything on this level before. There is a moment where you think he is lying to you, but even though Jeonghan is playful, you don’t think he would lie to you—especially not now.

You bid farewell to Jeonghan once you collect yourself.

You’re not sure if that day he speaks about will ever come, but you are content with just knowing he thinks highly of you.

Home is better.

Still not Hallmark-perfect, but better. As expected, your mother leaves for another trip somewhere. She stops by, and to your surprise, your father lets her talk to you and Seoah. For once, there is no screaming. No yelling. No hostile attitude from either of your parents. It’s odd yet refreshing.

Your mother apologizes for not always being there for you and your sister. She says she will message you both when she has time. You nod, but you don’t believe her. She has given you the “promise message” before, and it never happened. 

Additionally, if she is truly sorry, she wouldn’t keep leaving when she has a family here. Perhaps that’s a selfish thought, but it doesn’t matter. It won’t make a difference. You’re not sure when or if you’ll see her again. It’s clear she isn’t allowed to stay here if she comes back. Visiting is fine, but that’s all. Despite it all, you wish you are able to see her in the future.

Your father began attending dinners after your mother left. He reasons it’s time to start being more like a family again. You bite your tongue when you want to say he never was part of it to begin with.

The first night together is awkward. Seoah breaks the tension eventually, but it always reverts back to crickets. After a while, your father starts to make small talk. 

How was your day? Is your homework going fine? Are classes hard?

You never are one for small talk, but at least he is trying.

Though he only tries during dinner. As always, he stays inside his office the majority of the day. It’s like nothing changes until it becomes dinner time. Then you are a family. Once that is over, it goes back to normal.

You tell yourself it’s just baby steps, which is better than no steps at all.

“So, Savannah ate her homework as a… dare?” your dad asks at dinner one night.

“No!” Seoah sighs, having tried to get your dad to understand her story for the past five minutes. “It’s because she’s crazy!”

“But I don’t understand why she would do that willingly,” your father replies. He has food on his fork, but it’s paused in mid-air, completely appalled by his daughter’s story.

“No one really knows. The point is she’s insane,” Seoah says.

“And she did this in front of her teacher?”

“She did it in class, so I supposed you could say that. At least she ate the homework that was already graded,” she huffs before stuffing her cheeks full.

“Yes, at least it was graded,” your dad agrees slowly as if he is still processing the story. He then turns to you.

“How’s Dae?”

He finally takes a bite while waiting for your response.

“She’s fine. We’re already done with our projects finally,” you answer.

“Ooh, I’m excited to see them! Dad and I are coming, you know?” Seoah says with a bright smile.

“I know,” you reply, trying to hide the grin that wants to show. You were a little shocked when they first told you they had gotten tickets. Even though you were secretly hoping they would come, you didn’t want to expect it. After all, it would be less disappointing if they didn’t come when your expectations were already low. It’s not that they don’t support you, but with everything going on, you weren’t sure if either of them had the time.

“Are your other friends going too?” asks your father.

Your gaze drops to your lap as you recall the conversation with Mingyu, Seungkwan, and Wonwoo. Seungcheol planned to get his friends—now your friends as well—to come to the show; however, you haven’t spoken to him since that weekend. You don’t know if any of them are coming now that Seungcheol most likely isn’t organizing his “surprise” anymore.

“I’m not sure,” you answer as you roll your shoulders back, sitting up straighter. No reason to be sad over it. You don’t need to be upset about losing someone who looks down on you. If anything, you should be glad you’re not talking to him. Your life is better now. Less drama.

At least that’s what’s been repeating in your head.

“What about that one boy? The one who came here? Seungch—”

“Shh!” Seoah gasps and puts her hand out to stop him. “You’re not supposed to talk about him in this house anymore.”

“W-what? Why not? He was very nice,” your father says. He glances between the both of you puzzled.

They always start that way, huh?

“They’re not talking anymore,” Seoah whispers, but you can hear it clearly.

“Oh,” your dad says and then looks at you with a sympathetic expression. It has you wincing internally. You don’t need his pity. “I’m sorry to hear that, honey. I’m sure he meant a lot to you.”

His words fish out all those thoughts you tried to drown. You aren’t about to spiral in front of your family.

“I’m going to work on my project more. Final adjustments and whatnot. Seoah, do you mind doing the dishes tonight?” you ask as you push your chair back.

“Only because you’re sad,” she replies.

Sighing, you grab your dishes, and place them in the sink.

Before you leave, you mumble, “I’m not sad.”

Seoah makes a sound to let you know she doesn’t believe you but doesn’t bug you about it.

“Way to go, Dad,” you hear her grumble as you’re leaving.

Shutting your bedroom door is akin to shutting off the lights in the world. It transports you to a place only you’re allowed in. A place where you are able to feel everything you have been keeping under lock and key. 

As soon as you hear the familiar click of your door, you feel your knees buckle.

You stagger to your bed and let your body flop onto the mattress. There’s an influx of the thoughts and feelings you had repressed.

Four weeks.

It’s been nearly four weeks since you last saw him. Heard his voice. At least not in conversations.

The first few days after that weekend, you ran into him on campus. Well, more like he found you. He’d call your name; he’d tell you he was sorry and ask for you to listen to him. Though each time, you ignored him. You went the other way and never said a word to him. Eventually, he stopped trying. He stopped finding you. He stopped calling your name. The frequent texts he would send stopped too. Soon, you were truly left with just a memory of him.

You should be glad.

You should be relieved he stopped because each time you saw him, you had the temptation to actually listen to him. To hear his side because you don’t want to believe he had said those things in his apartment. However, that will never happen now. Even if you want it to, you aren’t going to crawl back to him after all this time.

The picture you had taken of both of you is still in your photo gallery. You deleted it when you accidentally stumbled upon it a few days after the fight. Pained at even the sight of him, your finger had hit the trash icon quickly. Despite that, you ended up recovering the photo a few hours later because part of you wasn’t ready to erase him from your life completely.

The words your dad said linger in your mind.

I’m sure he meant a lot to you.

Had he?

In the few months you got to know him, had he really made himself a home in your heart? Perhaps if you say no, you will stop feeling like there is a void in your chest.

The weeks went by quickly. It wasn’t like in the movies or books where the heartbroken character felt their life was moving in slow motion. First, you weren’t heartbroken. Second, you had so much to do regarding your project you didn’t have time to think about him.

A part of your mind told you that working nonstop was your way of coping, but coping with what? What you lost wasn’t meaningful…

He wasn’t meaningful.

Yet as you let that thought roll around your mind, the more your chest feels heavy. The more your vision becomes blurry. The more your body feels weak.

The more you feel suffocated.

Suffocated by the thoughts gripping you and trying to shake you into realization.

Seungcheol had meant something to you. The extent is unknown, but if you were to ever tell someone how much your heart was aching, they would probably say he meant a great deal to you. Though if you allow yourself to agree, it will only cause more pain. So for now, you are fine being in denial.

You close your eyes as you inhale slowly. You hold your breath for a few seconds and then exhale gradually. You repeat this until you start to feel like you can breathe properly.

Images of him appear uninvitingly in the darkness—from when you first opened Jeonghan’s door to see him instead of Minghao then to waking up in his arms while laying in his bed.

It shouldn’t have come to this point. He wasn’t even helping with your project, yet you felt as if you saw him more than anyone else volunteering.

In the recesses of your mind, you can feel his gentle touch on your skin. You recall the moments you had together, but more strongly, you remember the way you felt when you were around him. Your chest would tighten any time he smiled or laughed. Such simple actions had you feeling so joyful. Even more so if you were the reason behind the actions. 

Then you think back to his apartment—before that phone call with Dae. The way you both held each other so tenderly during such an intimate moment. It had you feeling a sort of love you haven’t felt before. You think back to how content you were waking up in his arms. The glimpse of what your life could be like if you were his in his home.

You don’t know how you got here. You don’t know when you started falling for him. You don’t know when the tears started to roll down your cheeks. For the first time since the argument, you let your emotions flow freely.

You can’t believe you’re wasting tears over a guy you met this semester. Though, maybe you're just crying over the fact you no longer feel those feelings anymore. The feeling of being cared for, thought of, loved… Even if neither of you had said that word to the other, it doesn’t take away the feeling of being cherished. Maybe you don’t feel in love, but you could see yourself getting to that point if that argument never transpired. Although his words hurt then, they sting ten times worse now.

Your mind is filled to the brim with thoughts of him. It’s taking such a toll on you that you eventually fall asleep reflecting on your relationship with Seungcheol, dried tear streaks painting your cheeks.

“Mingyu, stop playing around,” you scold for the third time.

Mingyu stops dancing, peering down at you to give you another teasing grin. Perhaps you would’ve found it amusing if you weren’t under a time crunch.

“God, what a shit show,” you hear someone giggle behind you.

You dismiss the voice, knowing it’s probably Tori or Siwon. You only have a limited time to do your dress rehearsal before it’s another student’s turn.

“Worry about your own show, ladies,” Mingyu says above you, voice so stern it has you looking at him a little surprised.

“You never know when something bad might happen during your section in the show,” Jeonghan adds. Although his responsibility for the show is already done, he whined to join you today. Something about being bored and needing something to do. You had said no, but you couldn’t really stop him from following you to the theatre.

You turn around to see Tori and Siwon. They have their bags on their arms, ready to leave since they finished their rehearsals before you.

“Is that a threat?” Siwon gasps.

Jeonghan smiles that not-so-innocent grin and shrugs. “No, but it’s just a general comment. Anything can happen.”

Tori scoffs and then looks at you. “If I find out you’re tampering with other students’ projects, I’m going to tell Dr. Lim so you’ll flunk.”

“As if I need to sabotage your stage,” you reply. “You’ll do that yourself.”

“Oooh,” Jeonghan chuckles, bringing a hand to his mouth for dramatic effect. You shake your head at his reaction, but there is a tiny part of you where you’re pleased.

“You better watch yourself, Yn,” Tori warns.

You smile. “Oh, I will. After all, why would I watch your shit show?”

“You’re—”

“Tori, Siwon, please let Yn get back to her work. Yn, you should be focusing on your fittings and makeup. Not talking,” Dr. Lim instructs as he walks into the backstage room.

Tori and Siwon quickly apologize before they hurry out.

“Yn,” Dr. Lim calls to get your attention. You tear your gaze from your two peers to look at him.

“I heard you, Dr. Lim. I’ll be done before my time ends,” you say.

He gives you a tight-lipped smile before leaving you.

“Sorry,” Mingyu mumbles once they all leave. You exhale gradually and gesture for him to lean down.

“It’s fine, Gyu,” you answer. You quickly fix his hair, then turn him around to show one of the students you selected to help with hair and makeup. “Like this, okay?”

The student nods, taking notes and pictures as they observe the simple style. You want the focus to be on the clothes rather than fancy hair-dos.

You attend to your other models and stylists, making sure the clothes fit well and that the stylists understand what you want them all to look like. You had met with Seokmin earlier to go over the music. It’s pretty simplistic since it’s just one track, but you still want to make sure things go smoothly from all aspects.

Luckily, you finish within your time slot. Mingyu and Jeonghan trail behind you as you exit the building, talking amongst themselves. You figure they’ll go their separate ways once you are done, but nope. You act as if it bothers you, but you kinda like the company. You’ve been so focused on finishing the project that you haven’t had the chance to hang out with many people. If you did, it was only to discuss the final details.

Now that the show is around the corner, you let yourself breathe for a little.

“I don’t need you to pay for me,” you tell Jeonghan when it’s your turn to purchase your drink at the register.

“Think of it as a thank you for letting me tag along today,” he answers and starts to lower his card to the payment device. However, you quickly snatch it from his grip.

“Aye,” he drags out in a whine.

“I said n—”

“Done,” Mingyu cuts in. Your eyes flicker to him, then down at his hand. He just paid for your drink. He gives you a cheeky grin before ordering for Jeonghan and himself.

“Kim Mingyu, you’re a little shi—”

“Shining star,” he finishes for you as he pays for his order. He guides you and Jeonghan from the line to the end counter as you wait for your orders. His mouth is spread into a wide, confident smile. 

Jeonghan laughs at Mingyu’s answer, but you simply glower at the taller man.

“Come on, that was good,” Mingyu pouts when you don’t say anything. He gives your shoulder a poke, trying to get you to agree.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” you announce instead, walking away before either of them can answer.

After you’re done, you walk out with your phone in hand to check on Dae who has her rehearsal after you.

You are typing your message when you hear something fall to the floor. Glancing down, you notice a stray pen.

“Think you can pick that up for me, princess?” a familiar voice asks.

You’ve heard the intolerable voice enough times to know who it is without looking up. Regardless, your eyes lift to see Hajun. 

You notice a change in her appearance. Her outfit is less boring than it normally is. You think she has dressed up for a class assignment, but the attire isn’t professional-like. After all the shit she’s given you for dressing “over the top,” she sure is heading down the same path. 

You grit your teeth in order to stop the snide remark you want to make. 

“Well?” she prompts smugly.

Two options run through your head. The first option is to stomp on the pen with your heel until you hear a satisfying crunch from breaking it. The second is to slam the pen down in her open palm—tip facing downward.

Instead, you chose the safer option. You step over the object and continue your way back to your friends; your text to Dae forgotten.

“Can’t even help a person out by doing a simple task?” Hajun asks. You pause in your steps to look over your shoulder.

“You’re a big girl and fully capable. I’m sure you can solve your own problem,” you reply.

“Bitch,” she mutters under her breath, but it’s loud enough for you to hear. As if that word is meant to make you cry.

Turning around again, you say, “Ditto.”

It isn’t anything rude, but you’re done dealing with her. Nothing is ever going to change, and there is no reason for you to put up with her bullshit.

“That’s why he left you,” she calls out after a few steps. You hear her footsteps near slowly as yours still once more. You know she just wants your attention, but you can’t help but give it to her. 

“He realized you were nothing but a slut who needed something between her legs to be satisfied.”

You stay silent for once as you listen to her words. You don’t need to hear his name to know who “he” is. Your gaze lowers as she stands behind you. Your heart rate is increasing as a mix of emotions courses through you, somewhere between fury and sorrow.

“Is he just one more check mark off your list?” she wonders. “He told us about how pathetic you were at his place. He said he needed a way to get you to leave him alone.”

“Are you sure he didn’t say that about you?” you ask and finally, turn to look at her. Despite your words, she smiles at you cunningly.

Ignoring your question, she continues with her high-horse speech.

“It’s a shame you had him so wrapped around your finger. I told him you weren’t worth it,” she tsks sadly.

You’re not sure why you stand there as she belittles you. Maybe in some sick way, you want to hear every bad thing she has to say about you. Let her get everything off her chest while she can. Not that you need to give her that opportunity. She doesn’t deserve an ego lift.

“I was right, though. He said you were one of the worst fucks he’s ever had,” she giggles. “Truly not worth the chase you were giving. I’m sure everyone you’ve had sex with feels the same. Eventually, they’ll stop chasing someone so worthless.”

The sorrow you felt earlier is overcome by anger. It doesn’t help that she’s staring at you with a Cheshire cat smile that makes you want to slap it off her face. Your hands fist at your sides at the thought. However, before the temptation takes over fully, someone calls your name.

Jeonghan stands at the end of the hall, a drink in each of his hands.

You glance back to Hajun.

She simply shrugs, not bothered by being interrupted. You doubt that’s all she has to say, but for now, it will do. She had gotten under your skin. You should have walked away.

“He’ll stop chasing you soon, too,” she tells you quietly before moving around you and toward Jeonghan.

“Hi Hannie!” she greets cheerfully. You watch as he smiles at her and tells her hello.

Unfortunately, the hallway to the bathrooms is a dead end, and the only way to leave is past Jeonghan and Hajun.

“Is she okay? What’s taking so long?” Mingyu questions as he rounds the corner. Following closely behind him is Seungcheol.

Seeing him should be like seeing a poster on the wall—one glance and move on. Yet, your gaze catches his, and your heart starts to break away from the bandaids you placed on it. Scattered memories of the argument flash before your eyes, yet between those snip-bits are memories of you in his soothing embrace. You can’t help but yearn to feel that one more time.

Besides looking tired, he seems fine. He must have known you were here since he didn’t seem surprised to see you. That, or he simply doesn’t care. The latter is difficult to bear.

Your feet want to move. You want to run and escape the situation you’re put in, but you can’t leave. You just need them to go so you don't have to walk past them.

“Hey,” Jeonghan calls out gently as he takes a few steps forward. He hands the drinks to Mingyu, who has to juggle a little to hold them, before walking toward you.

He gently moves your face so you aren’t looking at Seungcheol anymore.

“Did something happen?” he asks lowly so no one can hear.

“I just need to get out of here,” you mumble, casting your eyes down from his worried one.

“Okay,” he says unhesitantly. “Let’s go then.”

He hooks his arm in yours and starts walking toward the end of the hallway, forcing you to follow him.

“What about your drinks?” Mingyu asks when you both walk past and in the direction of the exit.

“Keep them,” Jeonghan replies, slowing his steps but never stopping fully. You keep your gaze away as he answers. “You paid for them anyway.”

“But—”

“We’ll take them. Here, Cheollie,” you hear Hajun say as you leave.

The air outside feels heavenly.

You inhale deeply, letting yourself breathe after feeling like you couldn’t for the longest time. You’re not sure what you’re more affected by—hearing what Seungcheol had said about you or seeing him for the first time in a long time. 

You should let her words flow from one ear and out the other, but some things she said already planted themselves in your mind. And of course, you water those seeds until they sprout to consume your thoughts.

Were you not worth it to Seungcheol to fight harder for you? Not just after the argument but before. His lack of loyalty to you was always an issue with him. You didn’t care if he had a project with Hajun and the others. You didn’t care if he knew them for longer. You were tired of not being his first. You had always split that position with Hajun. At least that’s what you felt. Maybe he kept her around for reasons he didn’t disclose. Even then, how much did she mean to him?

Loud footsteps sound behind you quickly. Before you can fully turn back to see who or what is emitting the noise, a hand is on the arm Jeonghan isn’t holding.

“Yn,” Seungcheol rasps, eyes wide and pleading.

Jeonghan stops in his tracks as he flickers his gaze between you both.

“Maybe another time, Seungcheol,” he says gently, so as to not offend him.

“Let’s let her decide that,” Seungcheol responds, his jaw clenching slightly as he gives a warning glare in his direction. You don’t like the expression he gives Jeonghan.

Even though his hand awakens sleeping butterflies in your stomach, you move it from you—catching his attention. His firm features immediately soften.

“Can we talk?” he asks.

You want to say yes, but after hearing Hajun’s words from earlier, you’re not sure if you want to anymore. He’s allowed to speak to his friends about whatever he wants, but you had hoped he would’ve done so respectfully.

“Depends,” you answer. “Are you going to go twist my words to your friends?”

His eyebrows push together. “What are you talking about? I wouldn’t do that.”

“And I wouldn’t use a needle to sew,” you reply sarcastically.

“Seriously, Cherry. Let’s go somewhere private and talk. Please?” he says, eyes glancing up at Jeonghan who still stands next to you.

Hearing that nickname after so long makes your brain short-circuit. You’re a little surprised that he used it since you aren’t on speaking terms. Nicknames are normally reserved for friends… Does he think you’re still friends with him? That’d be sad if he did considering how he treated you before.

“I’ve heard everything I needed to hear,” you argue.

“No, you haven’t,” he sighs. His eyes move to see Mingyu and Hajun leaving the building. It’s not going to be long until they catch up.

“Do you plan to whisper sweet nothings in my ear until I forgive you?” you question with venom.

“No, I—”

“One day, you’ll see my clothes in a shopping window and think, ‘Wow. How did I ever sleep with someone so out of my league?’” you hiss out, narrow eyes locking on his. 

“Instead of your clothes, he’ll see a used napkin in the wind and think, ‘Wow. I should’ve pushed her out of my life sooner,’” you hear Hajun's voice before you can see her. 

Seeing Hajun next to Seungcheol reminds you of all the problems you have with him. Even though you did miss him, you don’t miss this—feeling like you are getting ganged up on while Seungcheol stands there and does nothi—

“Be quiet, Hajun,” Seungcheol snaps. “I’m tired of you getting in my business.”

His aggressive tone takes everyone by surprise.

You never heard him like this; not to you, not to anyone. It’s a whole new Seungcheol you have yet to discover. One you don’t want to be on the receiving end of. You can only imagine how Hajun is feeling.

“W-what? But I’m only trying to help,” she sputters, trying not to look as startled as she probably feels. It seems it’s her first time seeing this Seungcheol, too.

“Did I ever ask for your help? For fuck’s sake, just stop bothering Yn.”

Hajun’s eyes widen like saucers, mouth opening slightly at his words. You watch the scene before you. Your expression is probably the same as Hajun’s.

She looks at you, shock turning into irritation.

“You said something to him, didn’t you?” she accuses. That pulls you from your surprised daze.

Rolling your eyes, you answer with a forced smile, “Ah, yes, I bewitched him so he’d tell you to fuck off. Isn’t that right, Cheollie?”

You glance up at him when using the nickname, eyelashes batting obnoxiously.

“Cherry,” Seungcheol scolds lightly with a groan, hand coming up to rub at his temples.

“Who the hell is Cherry?” Hajun questions, miffed.

“What did I say, Hajun?” Seungcheol responds instead. “Stop talking shit about Yn. Stop trying to fight her.”

Hajun scoffs. “If anything, she’s trying to fight me!”

“And I’ll win, too,” you comment under your breath, causing Jeonghan to yank on your arm slightly with a shake of his head. You forgot he’s here.

“What did you just say, bitch?” Hajun asks you. You open your mouth to repeat what you said, but Seungcheol’s voice interrupts you.

“Leave, Hajun,” he says and stares at her. Even though it isn’t directed at you, you can tell how intimidating it is.

“You’re really going to let her control you, Seungcheol?!” she exasperates, almost desperately.

“Now,” he demands.

Hajun’s mouth opens again, but nothing comes out. She glances at Mingyu and Jeonghan as if they will say something; however, neither of them does. With one last look at Seungcheol, she spins on her heels and walks away.

You all watch her for a few seconds. The awkward silence is starting to make you feel uncomfortable.

“She could’ve at least taken the drinks,” Mingyu says, trying to break the tense atmosphere. You peer at him to see he has all the drinks again.

Seungcheol disregards him to speak to you. His voice has lost that firmness to it. “Yn, just five minutes.”

You still want to say no, yet, this is your chance to listen to him without having to appear desperate for closure. Perhaps you can finally get him out of your mind if you agree.

“Fine,” you yield and glance at Jeonghan.

“I’ll wait here with Mingyu,” he informs. You would have told him it was fine, but after rejecting Dae’s offer to pick you up at Seungcheol’s that day, you want to have someone to turn to in case this conversation ends like the last.

“Thanks,” you mumble.

Seungcheol guides you both to sit on a bench nearby. You sit on opposite ends with your hands in your lap.

“I’m sorry” is the first thing he says as you get settled. He tucks his hands in his hoodie’s pocket, reminding you you still have to return the one you have someday.

His back leans against the bench while he shifts his eyes on you. “I’m sorry for the awful things I said. I don’t think you’ve slept with everyone on campus, and I don’t agree with what Hajun and Hana have said about you.”

You rub your lips together, staring at him at first but then averting. The events of that day come to the forefront of your mind. Though they’ve never been far from it to begin with. You wonder if you overreacted at the time, but you’re so emotionally involved with him it’s hard to tell. No doubt his words stung; especially after engaging in such vulnerable moments with him and slipping into that fantasy life you had created for the both of you. All for it all to evaporate with what? A so-called joke?

“You don’t have to forgive me right now, or ever, but I would still like to talk to you… to try to get back to where we were before I fucked up,” he continues when you remain quiet.

Your first response in your head is no, that won’t be possible. You just want to move on. But that answer spurs from having your defensive walls around you. What if you get close like before, only for something else to tear you apart?

Sighing, you begin playing with the end of your clothes.

“What did you tell Hajun?” you ask in lieu of answering his silent question.

Seungcheol tilts his head at the sudden topic change. “I told her to leave you alone.”

“No,” you shake your head and look at him. “What did you tell her after that day?”

He’s silent for a moment as he digs around his thoughts for an answer.

“I didn’t tell her anything. She just asked where you were,” he replies.

The look on your face conveys your disbelief.

“You didn’t tell her we had sex?” you asked.

“W-what? No. There was no reason to,” he says. You can see the shock on his face from your question.

“Then how does she know?”

“Does she?” he asks.

“Yes.”

Seungcheol ponders on the information. “Well, she did ask as a joke, but I didn’t tell her we did,” he answers.

You take a deep breath. Another joke, huh?

“Did you tell her we didn’t then?” you wonder.

He shakes his head.

“Seungcheol,” you scold while bringing a hand to your temples.

He pouts, scooting closer to lower your arm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think she’d figure it out. It wasn’t her business to know.”

“No, it wasn’t,” you concur sadly. The warmth of his hand spreads up your arm, bringing back a sense of familiarity that makes you want more but also want to pull away in fear of losing it again.

“What else did she s—”

The sound of your phone going off startles you both.

You pull away to grab it. Seoah’s name appears at the top.

“One second,” you murmur before answering and turning away.

“Yeah?” you greet.

“Are you almost home?” Seoah asks.

“No, did you need something?”

She releases a loud sigh on the other end. “Yeah. Dad’s cake. You’re going to be late.”

Shit.

You completely forgot about your father’s surprise birthday party. Seoah invited a few of his co-workers over to celebrate, and you’re supposed to pick up the cake on the way home from rehearsal. It’s going to be the first time in a while since you do anything big like this. Normally, his birthday consists of only you and Seoah singing him a happy birthday with a present.

“I’m so sorry. Look, just start without it,” you say and begin to stand. Seungcheol follows you, waiting patiently as you stay on the call.

You pull the device from your ear despite Seoah talking.

“I have to go,” you inform.

Seungcheol’s lips dip in a frown, but it quickly disappears. “Can we meet this weekend so we can talk more?”

“I can’t. I have the—”

“The show. I know,” he pauses. “I’ll be there.”

The phone call is forgotten instantly at his words. He’ll be at the show? The show you’ve been working on? You figured that would be the last place he’d be.

“Y-you will?” you stutter.

Seungcheol smiles, but it isn’t anywhere near his eyes. “We can talk the next day. I figure you’ll be busy after.”

“I-Uh… Yeah,” you reply, not sure what to say. You want to ask why and when he got the tickets. You want to know if he is being forced to go or if it’s a decision he made all on his own. Though, none of those questions come out.

“Are you even listening to me?” Seoah’s voice is loud. “Who are you with? Is it Jeonghan? Tell him to go away, so you can grab the cake.”

Seungcheol glances at the phone in your hand. His face morphs into something you can’t read, though you catch the way his jaw clenches briefly. You’re not sure if it’s because he recognizes Seoah’s voice or if it’s something she said. Regardless, you ignore it and change your focus to your sister.

“I’m on the way now, relax. You’re not cutting it at the start anyway,” you reason. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

You hang up the call before you can hear more of her complaining.

“Sorry,” you apologize as you look at Seungcheol again. He seems lost in his thoughts. It’s odd to see him this way since you feel you’re usually the one in his position.

You take a few seconds to scan his face properly. Even with his slightly visible eye bags, you find him handsome. Your fingers twitch with the desire to touch him, to feel his warm body against yours and see that smile that has you smiling back.

“Seungcheol?” you ask softly when you realize neither of you has spoken.

His eyes snap to yours. “Right,” he clears his throat. “So, the next day?”

“Okay,” you agree before you can overthink the decision. You know you need to resolve the issue in order to continue with your life—whether it’s one with him in it or not.

“We can go to that café? I can pick you up,” he offers.

Having been used to him driving around, you almost say yes, but you learned your lesson of not having your own transportation.

“It’s fine. I’ll meet you there,” you reply.

“Alright,” he says slowly, allowing you time to change your mind. When he senses that isn’t going to happen, he adds, “I’ll see you this weekend.”

“See you,” you say, gaze lingering on his for a little too long before you tear yourself away. 

You find Jeonghan with Mingyu a couple of feet away. They both look up when they hear you near.

“All good?” Jeonghan wonders.

You shrug. “For now, I guess. Thanks for waiting.”

Jeonghan stands, a drink in his hand. Mingyu still has the third.

“Anytime. Do you still want that?” Jeonghan asks as he gestures to the third drink. You glance at it, shaking your head. You don’t know if it’s contaminated.

“No one’s drunk out of it,” Mingyu reassures; however, you still shake your head.

“Thanks, though. I’ll pay you back for it,” you say.

Mingyu smiles. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Still want some company to your car?” Jeonghan questions.

“That’d be nice,” you smile slightly. Jeonghan nods. After you both say goodbye to Mingyu, you lead Jeonghan in the direction of your parked car.

You haven't seen Seungcheol’s face in weeks. While seeing him again is difficult, it feels like you can breathe again. The temptation to glance back at him is strong. You want to see him again.

And so you do.

Only to find his eyes already locked on you.

Something about his look captivates your attention. His expression isn’t settled in a set emotion; it ranges from longing to worry to hope. Jeonghan guides you down the sidewalk, talking about something you don’t know. It’s not until you turn a corner that you’re forced to break your gaze due to a building obstructing your view.

You’re anxious about this weekend and unsure how your life will change. The fashion show is a big deal for you, but so is Seungcheol. It’s nerve-wracking to not know how everything will end.

previous chapter \\ pretty please masterpost // next chapter

A/N: Next chapter will be the last one in the series! Ahhhhhvfjsnbfgkvkd

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[peacenotfound]

(1/2) Hi Peace! Re: the song truthing, Dream’s Spotify from Feb 27th... man was going through it. A good many of the songs were about self-esteem/mental health, but usually in the context of someone supporting you (most notably being there for you at night) and this makes sense as it was the day the John Swan drama got cleared up. But then a bunch of them are just straight up romantic. I’ve not included the ones that sound like they are more about an ex. I put * in front of the support songs...

(2/2) Dream’s Spotify from 2/27 Blueberry Eyes- MAX (ft. Suga of BTS) Make You Mine- PUBLIC Catching Feelings- Drax Project *Treehouse- James Arthur Adore You- Harry Styles *Be Kind- Marshmello, Halsey *Take it Easy- Surfaces *Know Your Worth- Khalid Anyone- Justin Bieber *Safe With Me- Gryffin You- Benny Blanco, Marshmello, Vance Joy In Your Arms- Illenium and X Lonely- Diplo *Nighlight- Illenium *It’s Okay Not to Be Ok- Demi Levato and Marshmello Let’s Fall in Love for the Night- FINNEAS

YEAAAHH THANK YOU SO MUCH ANON!! i’m gonna have so much fun rambling about all of it!

disclaimer: i do NOT think dream listens to all these with dnf brainrot HAHA i just think its fun to draw parallels!

that said, dream has said before that he “doesn’t really listen to songs that don’t mean something to him” and also “there has to be some songs” in reply to a dono asking if any songs remind George of Dream, so its definitely also fun to guess which songs are his George Songs LOL

💙 Blueberry Eyes - MAX (ft. Suga)

'Cause I'm holding my breath / Wondering when you're gonna wake up in my arms / Head on my chest, my heart's beating / I can't wait to...

Kiss you each morning / With strawberry skies / 'Cause I get so lost in /Your blueberry eyes

such a fun melody and such perfect “absolutely cannot wait for u to move in with me so i can stare at u forever” vibes 🥲 also:

Damn, you look so good /Laying there wearing nothing but my t-shirt

oh hi hoodie saga

💚 Make You Mine - PUBLIC

In the night, we'll take a walk, it's nothing funny / Just to talk

Put your hand in mine / You know that I want to be with you all the time / You know that I won't stop until I make you mine

another one with fun melody / yearning lyrics!! i wonder who dream spends all his time with and talk into the night before sleep calling 🤔

💙 Catching Feelings - Drax Project

I've been catching feelings over you / And I hope you catch them too / I hope you catch them too (yeah) / And I've been going crazy over you

the vibes... crying while raving

💚 *Treehouse - James Arthur

my god.. the first “support” song and i’m already head in hands

it does seem like this one’s a voice talking to dream... that first verse :( i can imagine him actually taking comfort in the song. and the chorus is reminiscent of both “person i go to have fun with” as well as “person i go to through do not disturb when i need you”

You can be who you are with me 🤍

💙 Adore You - Harry Styles

You don't have to say you love me / You don't have to say nothing / You don't have to say you're mine

Honey / I'd walk through fire for you / Just let me adore you / Like it’s the only thing I’ll ever do

vouch :) acts of service dream our beloved... the way nothing has to be defined and their relationship doesn’t need to be labeled for him to give his all for his friend <3

also this is a lil angstier in the context of dsmp! dnf, imagining c!dream ruining himself for his king, saying “you don’t have to say you love me, you don’t need to thank me, you don’t even need to wake up, i just want to keep you safe” crie

💚 *Be Kind - Marshmello, Halsey

i’m not analyzing all the support songs (the ones with an asterisk *) for my personal mental health’s sake 😃👍

💙 *Take It Easy - Surfaces

Oh, when you need a hand / Oh, I will be your friend

Take it easy, yeah / Make yourself feel right at home / Never leave me, yeah / You don't have to feel alone

💚 *Know Your Worth - Khalid

You don't know your worth / All the things I know that you deserve / Say it's not real if it doesn't hurt / Find someone you know will put you first / Find someone who loves you at your worst

💙 *Safe with Me - Gryffin

People tell me I'm a fighter, a survivor / No, I don't suffer fool's luck / I've never been the type to get lonely, yeah / But bein' old kinda gets old, kinda gets cold / Always keepin' it cool, yeah /There's a side of me that they don't see

I want somebody to say to me / "Come lay with me, you're safe with me"

Alright that’s enough for today, gtg cry to my new playlist and focus all my energy on telepathically sending my love to dream. Thank you so much again anon for bringing these BANGER songs to my attention, they’re going right in my own spotify HAHA

[wraithsoutlaws]

thinkin about how my v, casey is a recovering addict and how johnny’s presence would effect him especially since he’d likely probably relapse after all the Mess of the heist anyway, and just knowing that johnny had addiction problems one way or another when he was alive, and how the echo of those feelings would exacerbate his own problems and its making me a little sad if i’m honest :(

[electrosspidey]

PAIRING: peter parker x fem!reader(could be gn!reader too I didn’t rly specify pronouns)

WARNINGS: peter being a lil douchy in the beginning, lil angst, unedited

WORD COUNT: 643 words

A/N: sooo hello again :) I haven’t written in a hot minute so this may suck lmao. also this was inspired by a prompt from this list!! anyway as always lmk if u have any feedback or requests :D that’s all!

GOING OUT ON PATROL and looking for crime was something very normal for Peter. He had been doing it since he was 15 and would most likely be doing it for a very long time. So it was safe to say it could get a little boring sometime. Peter would stop and sit on a random rooftop, sometimes preferring to look for crime from his bird's eye view rather than swinging throughout the city.

He was currently doing this, scanning the city for any trouble when he saw something that caught his eye. A slumped figure was slowly trudging down the sidewalk just below him. But that wasn’t what caught his eye. The lackluster hair? The terribly styled clothes? The overall foul aura? It had to be you.

Peter snickered diabolically and swung himself down to your level. He landed behind you and cockily straightened his posture.

A slightly evil grin overtook Peter’s face as ur snarled, “Y’know my sense we’re going really crazy and thought somethin’ terrible was going down here.” He then sighed dramatically. “Turns out it was just you.”

An awkward pause filled the air as Peter waited for your response. His grin faltered slightly. You buried your face in your hands and groaned loudly before spinning around to face Peter.

“Oh my god,” you laughed in disbelief. “I can’t believe it! I was wrong-“

“I’m sorry, why is that surprising to you?”

“After everything that could have possibly gone wrong today, some how more could go wrong! You just had to show up! Y’just had to come and put the icing on the cake didn’t you?”

Peter’s expression soured into one of pure offense. “We’ll you’re grouchier than usual. What happened, your flying broomstick finally broke?”

“I know you’re obsessed with me or something but can you just leave me alone this one time?” You asked, your voice grating and filled with pure rage.

Peter ignored your comment. “Wait, something’s not right.” He gave you a quick once over. “Oh wow. You actually look kinda decent today. Well except for your makeup. It’s kinda smudged around your eyes. Like over here and here-“ he begins to motion with his hands.

“Yes I know that Peter!” You all but shout back at him.

The nice dress, the smudged makeup, your worse than usual mood suddenly connect the dots for him.

“Oh my god, you were stood up weren’t you. Were you stood up for a date?”

You groaned once again and harshly rubbed your face with your hands. Tears began to prick at the corner of your eyes as the humiliation you were feeling began creeping back up like bile in your throat.

“Yes I was stood up,” you mutter lowly, sniffling. “Go ahead, make fun of me. I know you’re going to.”

Peter’s mouth opened as he was about to say something truly insulting, but he stopped. He took in the sight of you. You looked like a kicked puppy, with your mascara and eyeliner smudged and your glossy tear filled eyes. You nervously picked at your nails as you awaited his taunts, already feeling embarrassed enough.

Something in Peter’s heart softened. He let out a deep sigh. “Y’know I may not like you very much, but I’m not heartless.

Your eyes flickered up to look at his face, holding much surprise in them. Peter grinned even though you couldn’t see it through the mask. “I know we have this whole thing going but I know getting stood up sucks.”

“What? Don’t look so astonished.” He admonished, putting his hand on his hips. I am your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man after all. It’s kinda my job to help damsels in distress,” he lilted, bowing slightly.

Surprising yourself and him, you let out a loud laugh at his theatrics.

A wide smile enveloped Peter’s face as he held our hand for you to take. “C’mon lemme take you home.”

Hope you enjoyed!

6.28.22

[day-nightmaring]

well, it's less facts, more scenarios. very specific scenarios. incredibly specific scenarios. scenarios that probably only i like lol.

context, this literally only works for the happy families au or any au where azrael's family isn’t fucking dead and he isn't wanted for numerous crimes.

further context, azrael moved to *main country* for like a better job or whatever and meets dani like somewhere maybe a library or whatever. they start becoming friends, start dating blahblahblah.

more further context, like, the prater we know doesn't rly exist. technically. there's like an amusement park in azrael's homeland(?) which is, coincidentally, owned by azrael's family tho. no i will not elaborate on that one i do not care. i need this for my soul shhhhh.

more additional further context, on terms of rides or whatever, the amusement park is like family park. u pay for the entry of the park but not for the rides. there's gift shops or food stands tho. also you can like 'reserve' some rides but that's extra

even more additional further context, because azrael's family own the park he can get into the park for free and 'reserve' without cost if it's within reason (like when the park is about to close or there aren't many people there, maybe even(and that is so so so so very only there for one specific scenario) after closing time if it's da chill stuff(like labyrinths or ferris-wheel[s]). not when there's many people there tho or like rush hour but for rollercoasters or whatever)

STARTING WITH THE SCENARIO. Azrael plans a like two week visit to his family for whatever reason and goes like "Wait Dani, do u wanna go with me? Meet my parents and stuff?" and Dani's like "Ok sure"

They drive over to like Azrael's home country (it's like Germany but magic) (the drive took like 5 hours T-T) and go to like Azrael's parent's house or whatever. The parents are really sweet and nice and like the complete opposite of Azrael. Imagine a stereotypical overbearing couple from american movies but make the couple german.

Their english is "not zhe yellow of ze egg" but they try their best<3

NOW TO THE MAIN COURSE. Azrael's mom is like "Azzy sweetie u should show ur lovely partner the park u two vould have a lot of fun in there" and Azrael's like "Ok". Dani thinks it's like a normal park like basic shit with ponds and idk whatever else is in parks but boom. ferris wheel. rollercoasters. fun houses or whatever they're called. other amusement park stuff.

They get inside the park and have fun riding rollercoasters and doing other amusement park activities (despite Dani's constant "lol wouldn't it be funny if the ride broke down and we fell to the ground and died lmao that would be hilarious" or Azrael's fake stories about how people died/went missing in the park)

just fluffy amusement park scenarios.

MOVING ONTO THE DESERT(literally and figuratively). When they're walking around, Dani sees like a sign in a food stand and asks like "wtf is....Baumkuchen" and Azrael explains and is like "U wanna try?" and Dani's like "yeah sure". so they get Baumkuchen and eat it (duh) and Dani's like "this is so delicious wtf. this is like...if cheese had a sister that was like. not cheese but some sort of sweet bread thingy" and yeah<3

(YES THIS IS ONLY A SCENARIO BECAUSE I SAW BAUMKUCHEN AT THE PRATER BUT WAS TOO SHY TO ASK MY PARENTS IF I COULD HAVE SOME)

LET'S MOVE TO THE BONUS(skip if u are uncomfortable with nsfw/suggestive themes. it's only mentioned but still, don’t read something ur uncomfortable with, stay safe, mwuah😘)

hehehehehehehehehehehehe so like. After closing time, Dani's like "aw man, we didn't go on the ferris-wheel, what a bummer :( better luck next time" but Azrael's like "We can still get on if u like we could even have the whole cabin(?)(gondola(????)) for us and stop like at the top or whatever u want) so they get in one of those cabins and i'm gonna be totally honest with you, they have sex. that's it.

AND THE END. that's it. i have so much more scenarios (with azrael family and stuff) in my head but that doesn’t rly fit into the theme of this post so whatevs. have a nice day/night/other time, drink water, goodbye<33

was at the prater today and of course it manefested murderkitty thoughts

[babymilkawa]

HI BEAN!! so basically i saw that ur inbox was open and i was wondering,,, could u maybe do like todoroki in a secret relationship x gn!reader, either texts or hc format bc i feel like thatd be rly cool. have a good day!! 😊 oh also if u want u can do like a how yall got found out too sksjdh

yes!! aah how have I never thought of doing a secret relationship with texts before,, this is brilliant!!

secret relationship headcanons with:

todoroki shoto

gn!reader :)

mild swearing

so it was your idea to keep it a secret because todoroki wouldn’t really mind letting other people know that you’re his

but he completely understands your reasons

although he wishes he could openly hold your hand and stare at you without midoriya and iida following his line of vision, he wants you to be comfortable first

there’s a lot of sneaking around, whether it’s glances at each other or to spend the night in one another’s arms, you have to admit it’s kind of fun

y’all even have a little knocking pattern

one time you were wearing his hoodie in your bed and you heard his usual knock

as soon as you opened the door, his arms were around you immediately, giving you only a few seconds to close the door with your foot

he’s picking you up by the waist and throws the two of you on your bed

“shotooo” you say, giggling

he’s usually clingy but today he was all over you

his hoodie that you were wearing had your own scent mixed in to it, making him rub his face on the crook of your neck while holding you by the waist

your hands instinctively went up to his hair and ruffled his soft locks

after rubbing his face print onto your neck LMAO, the two of you just lay there, panting from laughing so hard

he’s still on top of you and he doesn’t plan on moving any time soon

his cheek is to yours and his face is literally 😌

then you get a text saying that everyone’s meeting up in the living room to talk about plans for the weekend

gently pushing your boyfriend off you, you say “hey I need to leave first, you can come 5 min later or I’ll text you. Ok sho?”

he didn’t respond, arm still snuggly wrapped around your waist

you wiggled out of his grasp and got out of bed

remembering to take his hoodie off, you leave your dorm, looking around to see if anyone was near

you immediately sat up from your seat on the couch and rushed to your dorm

you saw midoriya standing outside of your room and you didn’t know whether to be relieved or to panic

he was a good friend of your boyfriend’s and if he did find out, you trusted that he would keep it a secret

midoriya saw you coming and whispered, “uhh y/n I think you have someone in your dorm”

“what? Oh no don’t worry about it, I just came out there’s no one in there”

“are you sure? I think we should check..”

“nopeee don’t worry about it! I think we should go, they’re probably waiting for us”

you dragged him away from your door and the two of you sat next to each other on the couch

you could tell that he suspected something, though

although you were grateful that he was worried and wanted to ensure your safety, you knew that your tone of voice sounded suspicious

then iida spoke up “where’s todoroki? We said to meet in 5 minutes!”

you looked at anywhere but midoriya and he turned to you, suspicions confirmed

uraraka was on your other side and just at that moment, she started dusting your shoulder “y/n why do you have white hair on your shoulder, red too”

ah shit

you could see midoriya’s eyes widen from your peripheral vision and see other heads turning to you

“yea..” denki said. “where is todoroki?”

“why are you looking at me? I don’t know where he is.” you say.

then at that moment, your boyfriend walked in, looking around

realizing that there were no seats left, he subconsciously plopped down right at your feet, causing the whole room to gasp

“I KNEW IT” kirishima said, jumping up to his feet and pointing at the two of you

mina was hopping around and screaming “how did we not notice 😫😭”

“well it wasn’t really obvious until like 5 minutes ago” midoriya says beside you

“wait..so the hair on you.. was Todoroki’s?” denki says.

“no shit sherlock, who else could it belong to?” bakugou growls

you honestly don’t know how to react and looking down at your boyfriend, you realized that he looked pretty calm, except for the tiniest smirk on his face

to be honest, you didn’t mind anymore

plus now, you could put the collage you made of your couple pictures as your screen saver

todoroki already had todorokiy/n as his phone passcode but he wanted to change ur contact name and put his favorite picture of you as his screensaver

then he got up and pulled you off the sofa, only to sit back down himself and bring you into his lap

the room broke out in “awws” and you could feel the color rushing into your cheeks

he rested his chin on your shoulder and said, “so what are we talking about?”

a/n: this was so fun to write!! aah yk I really wanna give you guys content/prompts that you don’t usually find on here,,,hence the quarantine ones,,,but I apologize if you come on Tumblr to get away from all that oops 🤭

bnha masterlist

[oodlyenough]

life is strange true colours review

the non spoilery part: i LOVED this game, my personal fave game this year and the first franchise entry since the original that has really resonated with or moved me.

it's a life is strange game through and through, so if you don't like slice of life episodes or bonding with NPCs, it's not gonna be for you. but if you like the franchise, or even if you liked the first game but haven't been interested in/liked the other two instalments, i recommend giving this one a chance. i think it got closer to figuring out the formula while still doing something new and interesting.

more detailed spoilers and opinions:

alex

holy shit i love alex? bisexual chad... my darling... i'm gonna be real, a lot of the trailers and promo for this game made me worried she'd be kind of a dull wallflower Soft Girl character, but she's not! she's so funny, and even parts of her characterization i initially thought were maybe a bit of a stretch ended up making sense as i learned more about her. she stole the show. i straight up forgot how much loving the protag helps enjoyment of these kinds of games lmao ... finally a reason to click on everything in the room: to hear what alex will say about it.

i thought her backstory exploration in ep 5 especially was wonderful and emotive and great. broke my heart and explained so much about her :( baby girl

plot/choices

i loved the mystery. i don't think it was quite as Mysterious as the mystery in lis1, but that was okay, i was still invested in solving it. i also got invested enough in the NPCs around the town to make all the exploration bits really fun. i loved eavesdropping on the sagas of the random NPCs like bald man and ice cream couple... just fun little touches and narratives to follow that i enjoyed.

i really appreciated this script not being afraid to shy away from some messier emotions, even if in some cases i wish we spent more time on them. for example: alex feeling a bit jealous of the other people in town that got to know gabe better than her/spend more time with him than she did. or charlotte hating ethan!!! my jaw dropped, i thought that was so good, what a messy but realistic response.

I'm not entirely sure what all the ramifications of different choices are at this point, fresh off my first play. i ended up getting only part of the council to stand with me (eleanor & duckie) while losing pike and charlotte.

i do wish we saw a bit more fallout or exploration of what taking away emotion DOES. i took charlotte's anger, and obviously it meant she didn't stand up for me in the council meeting, but where does she go from there? does she like... ever return to feeling emotions lmao... I also think we probably should've had the opportunity to do that another time, instead of just 2 isolated events -- I think Diane would've been a good candidate.

the romance

i romanced steph, ofc, but i was surprised during the game how drawn i was to ryan too -- i really liked that Drama of him being the one who cut Gabe free, as well as later the drama of him being Jed's son. UNTIL HE DIDN'T BELIEVE ME... that made me mad lmfao, i have to learn what to do to make him believe me before i play a Ryan route bc i'll kill him lmfao.

the steph/alex romance was sweet... it didn't really, like, Consume Me as a ship, but by the end of the game I was still "aww"ing at their moments in the flashforward. steph was more rounded and flawed than i thought she might be, which i really appreciated! i was worried they'd just make her perfect idealized gf, but she has a bit of a temper and is kind of tempestuous and stuff... liked it. loved her standing up for alex so fiercely and immediately at the council meeting <3 and my main reservation about her in ep 4 was that i wanted alex to stay in haven, so when she offered to stay i was thrilled LOL

one semi-complaint i had was that something i loved so much about lis1 was how max and chloe's relationship was central to the entire game and story, it wasn't some extra thing on the side, it WAS the game... whereas here, the romance routes, especially steph's, felt like sidequests. I wish they'd found a way to incorporate those relationships a bit more into the main goings-on. I also wanted to spend more time with either romance option to feel like I knew them better -- splitting the time between Steph and Ryan means that I came away feeling like I didn't get quite as much of either of them as I would've liked, vs spending almost the entire game with Chloe lol.

however, this ended up not really bothering me too much because I DID really like the core mystery and themes, the exploration of grief and Emotion, etc.

other characters

considering everyone knew going into the game that gabe was going to die, i was impressed with how they did it, and how they managed to get me attached to gabe in a mere single episode. it's a tall order to introduce a character designed to die, who your audience KNOWS is going to die, and still make them work.

i thought this supporting cast was ... maybe the strongest in the franchise? or at least, they created scenarios where i felt invested in multiple people in the town, and was genuinely trying to build decent relationships with most of them. duckie cracked me tf up, i liked eleanor and riley, even diane and jeb were good for their roles. (fuck pike. i signed ur stupid thing and left your emotions alone and you still won't do shit? ACAB!!!) the choice to stay in haven or leave was a little harder than i expected honestly, considering how quickly i let arcadia bay burn to the ground lmfao.

gameplay/etc

also i know the whole internet has been dunking on "empathy" as a super power since the game was announced, and i get that it sounds corny and looks corny in the trailers, but i thought how they did it was really cool. i wish they'd branded it "Mindreading" more than empathy tbh because a lot of the cooler elements of it are more along those lines... using her power to manipulate people, potentially taking people's emotions away and what that does to them... very interesting imo!

i really liked the memory feature!!! cool way to give us character exposition and inform the story while encouraging exploration. finally a collectible that like, expands the story, instead of chloe drawing butts on the wall and sean taking 10 years to draw something.

it's definitely the most evolved-feeling LIS game, which it should be, given it's the newest. graphics looked really nice, loved getting to see the characters actually emote, even if there are still some scenes that were a lil comically blank-faced -- usually NPCs. i actually noticed this with Jed the most, which in retrospect maybe was somewhat intentional?

i had a number of visual glitches, nothing major but a little silly, like T-posing Alex, npcs t-posing in the windows, etc. i'm sure they'll get patched out soon.

anyway... i rly liked this game, i'm excited for the steph dlc and finally feel like i have reason to be optimistic about future LIS instalments. hooray!

[matoitech]

GALOLIO

OK :) THANK YOU BOTH!!

GALO

Sexuality Headcanon: bisexy i love that this is a go to for him from ppl but again one of those things im not like THAT committed abt yk like bi or gay we win forever with autistic masc transfag swag guy

Gender Headcanon: hes a trans guy i respect other ppls various trans hcs for him but this is the facts 4 me. i feel like its just obvious lmao i think when u have a character that trans men all look at and r like yeah You thats pretty telling. also cis galo feels like a hate crime if i never had to see it again it would be too soon

A ship I have with said character: the movie romance literally what could top galolio! 

A BROTP I have with said character: hes buddies w lucia for sure i love their interactions if they made a promare like tv series galo and lucia shenanigans should be the B plot of the episodes that focus on other characters

A NOTP I have with said character: anything weird is the obv answer but stuff thats not ‘technically bad’ but i HATE is ppl shipping galo w remi it would be funny if it wasnt so insulting. also one time i saw heris/galo and i was like god damn not only do u have to say fuck lio u have to say fuck aina too.. help... WHO THINKS OF SOMETHING LIKE THAT

A random headcanon: i was talking abt this w a friend last night i think he fucking sucks at video games. like he has a console of some sort but hes just rly not great at gaming he doesnt rly have the right coordination for it and he gets bored too fast. he shows lio how to play some game of his and lio immediately picks it up and surpasses his skill level rly quickly and galos like god damn. my gamer boyfriend :)

General Opinion over said character: hes my favorite character of literally all time theres so much ive said abt him theres so much ive thought abt him there will never be another character like galo. hes so important to me him n lio both. i love him SO much. there’ll never be another autistic character like u galo u rly did it all 

-

LIO

Sexuality Headcanon: again bi or gay im not committed both r awesome i think he self describes as transfag tho

Gender Headcanon: trans man too but i also like switching it up w him im very solid abt galos specific flavor of transgender but i like all sorts w lio!! i write him dif depending on whatever i feel like doing that time around its just fun :) but whatever it is hes always trans, cis lio is not fucking real

A ship I have with said character: OBVIOUSLY GALOLIO ROMANCE OF THE CENTURY. i dont care abt anything else. amen

A BROTP I have with said character: HIS BUDDIES HIS BROS GUEIRA AND MEIS. also i think he would get along w lucia too

A NOTP I have with said character: the ppl who ship him w thyma r on another level like the ppl who literally think lio was in love w her. what a thing to witness. tho i do think in aus where they dated in the past and broke up when one or both realized they were gay/trans etc is smart and fun ^_^ i like in general when theres aus and thyma gets to be alive and stick around and hang out w them

A random headcanon: he gets a pet snake post promare and he also names this one detroit

General Opinion over said character: id fucking die for you lio. i love him so much i love tyhe promare guys so much theyre everything to me theyre important to me the depth of my feelings cannot be overstated. fave characters fave romance ive seen in media like ever fr