#this was requested of me. 4-5 days ago and it was a simple thing and i couldnt finish it and its been driving me up the WALL

[randomwriteronline]

@fraymotiif fo yo fren

At first, the twins alternated between following him everywhere like Duckletts that accidentally imprinted on a Seadra and skittishly disappearing behind walls or corners the moment he tried to turn towards them.

Figuring out the steps of the dance they were tentatively leading around him was proving to be a bit of a careful balancing act, one he wasn’t quite used to - at least not to this degree. Marshal had been awfully frightened by him when he’d first met him too, after all, but he was three years old; the boys were fifteen, almost sixteen by now, and yet they still behaved like toddlers interacting with someone they know only vaguely.

Touch was far from a problem, that was certain: as soon as they’d figured out they could lean onto him whenever they wanted they had no trouble holding onto his arms or bumping into him so that he’d ruffle their hair.

The trouble seemed to start from their room.

They were horribly nervous about anything and everything that could have been inside of it - although he knew it couldn’t be much, let alone anything to be embarassed or secretive about, since most of their belongings he’d already seen when they’d emptied their backpacks and they’d really been barely more than the bare necessities.

Drayden knew better than to snoop around in a Dragon’s den uninvited, so he would let them sit there for hours on their own, doing who knew what.

That didn’t mean he wasn’t curious. But he couldn’t really just ask them.

He’d tried!

The answer had been a couple uncoordinated shrugs and a quick ‘nothing’ meant to distance him.

In the end, he supposed the only way to find that out would have been for them to decide to make him participant to whatever they did back in there and simply tell him upfront by themselves.

“You can’t!”

“Why not? What’s so wrong about it?”

“You can’t! You can’t!”

Or for them to argue loud enough, that too.

“If you just repeat that I can’t understand what the wrong part is!” this was Ingo.

“You can’t!” and this was Emmet. “It messes it up! Messes everything up!”

“What does it mess up?”

“Eelektrik!”

Ah - that explained why he was so upset; he loved that levitating lamprey almost as much as his brother, or trains. He adored parading it over his shoulders like a sentient scarf, and once or twice Drayden had even seen him fearlessly hold that terrible mouth close to his face as he slept, without a single worry.

“Oh, well, of course it messes him up. That’s the point.”

“You can’t do that!”

It seemed weird that Ingo would want to hurt his younger twin’s ace, though.

Unless it was a matter of battling, in which case he would have definitely run that poor thing over without hesitation or second thoughts.

“Yes I can!”

“You can’t! You can’t!”

“Yes I can! It’s a strategy like any other!”

“It’s not! It’s not! This one it’s not!”

“You just say that because it's really powerful and it neutralizes your favorite!”

“Yes!”

Drayden’s citrine eyes fell through the crack of the slightly opened door: he caught a glimpse of the heavily scribbled page of a notebook, red and green ink all over the paper, upon a stark white black-lined background between folded legs that were clearly getting more and more agitated as the squabble went on.

“Something the matter, boys?” he asked as he knocked gently.

The door slid open a little bit at that. He barely had the time to peek through that the notebook was gone, spirited away with a slight of hand that maybe wasn’t particularly graceful but certainly honed by practice.

Both twins, sitting half hunched and crosslegged on the beds they’d pushed together as they often did, turned to him with near matching innocent expressions, honestly surprised by his appearance but feigning ignorance. They raised their chins at him in tandem in a silent candid question.

“Thought I’d heard you arguing,” Drayden explained.

Emmet shrugged - a fluid motion that shook his arms outwards.

“We were just reading,” Ingo replied, straining his voice into sounding calm as he patted a large book of their on the history of trains in Sinnoh.

Hm. They probably used that as a desk.

The man shook his head lightly, playing a little into their pantomime: “Then I must be getting old and hearing things. You sounded like you were discussing battle strategies,” and before they could startle he changed his tone to reassure them of whatever they were worried about: “If that were the case, I would have been happy to help you figure them out.”

He looked at the twins a little longer, waiting as it dawned on them that he was, indeed, a Gym Leader, and asking him for help on the topic would have, indeed, made sense, while hiding it away from him very much did not.

They retreated a little sheepish into their own shoulders.

Finally the eldest shyly pulled out the battered notebook from beneath himself and presented it to their uncle, who carefully entered their domain to take a seat by them in the way one tiptoes their uninvited way through the den of a very disgruntled mothering Hydreigon.

“We were, uhm... We were planning our teams,” the boy showed him, pointing at his narrow red calligraphy and his twin’s blockier green handwriting.

Two mirrored columns divided in six rows were compiled with a few Pokémon names, other spaces instead left blank; two more had a label above them which read ‘type’, followed by another couple labeled as ‘ability’, then another pair bearing the sign of ‘item’, and finally much larger two meant to house the party member’s moveset. It was an incredibly meticulous job, Drayden noted with his fair share of marvel.

“You’re real thorough,” he nodded thoughtfully.

Emmet smiled, very much proud of their work; Ingo cleared his throat, adjusting his seat a little to try and not let his fluster show: “And we - and we got to, to this point here - see? This slot here. I was - I thought, I wanted to get - uhm...”

“Earthquake,” Drayden read aloud: “A powerful move.”

Embarassed by his stuttering, Ingo just nodded.

“Paired with... Mold Breaker? For an ability?” his uncle continued with an encouraging tone: “That’s a very good combination.”

“He can’t use it,” Emmet instantly butted in, very piqued.

His brother snapped out of his mortification to glare daggers at him: “Yes I can,” he rebutted.

“No!” and he threw a pen at the elder.

Drayden caught it inn midair without thinking, handing it back over to Emmet: “And why can’t he?”

“Because he can’t!”

“He’s just mad that it would put Eelektrik on the ground to get quaked.”

"Eelektrik has no weaknesses! I want him to keep having no weaknesses!”

“An opponent with Gastro Acid could do the same thing,” their uncle noted.

“But they’d waste a turn!” the younger whined: “Maybe they wouldn’t have Ground moves. Or Eelektrik could paralyze them. Or K.O. them. Mold Breaker is instant! It’s not fair.”

“It’s plenty fair!” Ingo argued.

“It’s cheap!”

“No it’s not, it’s a good strategy!”

“Cheap!”

“Boys.”

They both immediately fell quiet.

He ruffled their hair to reassure them he was not mad at them; they leaned against his palms.

“There’s surely plenty of ways to counter that, or at least minimize the damage,” Drayden said, watching Emmet pout and huff as he validated the fairness of Ingo’s plan. “I should have a Fraxure around your partners’ level who’s just the gal for this. We can try out some counters with her right now, how’s that sound?”

“Oh!” the eldest startled a little. He searched for his brother’s matching surprised eyes: “Right - right now?”

“I mean, if you have time.”

“No, it’s--”

“We need to plan,” the youngest explained.

Their uncle furrowed his brows, puzzled: “Plan what?”

“Counters!”

“We can’t battle if we - if we don’t figure out how to do something first.”

“We need to plan.”

“Otherwise we’ll end up failing and losing, and we’d have to start over again.”

“Yup.”

“It’s to save time.”

“Yup.”

Save time... Save time...

Drayden tilted his head: “Save time for what?”

“For battling.” Emmet repeated.

Ingo twisted the pen in his hand: “We don’t get many occasions.”

Well... As open-minded as he might have been, that sounded a little silly.

It really wasn’t the hardest thing in the world, trying to find someone to train with. There were plenty of over-enthusiastic juvenile trainers running about cities and routes, anxious for any chance at a good battle against anybody who happened to meet their impatient eyes - as a matter of fact, he was fairly certain that if they’d taken a stroll down the park instead of staying cooped up in their room it wouldn’t have taken long at all for them to find an opponent each. Hell, if they spent just thirty minutes there they would probably get their schedules all filled out with battledates from other eager kids.

Were they scared of something? Or were they just particularly sore losers? The younger might have, with how fussy about Eelektrik he was. He could understand not wanting to see a favorite defeated, but acting like that wasn’t going to do him any favours if he was looking to become a gym leader.

Why would he want to be a gym leader. He never mentioned anything about wanting to be a gym leader. Why did he think that. This wasn’t the time to think about successors. Stop that. Bad Drayden. Bad.

“So you two haven’t found a moment to practice at all till now?” he asked.

The twins held his gaze for a moment as their heads timidly retreated into their shoulders like those of Tirtougas before their eyes fell on the bedsheets.

It took him another moment for it to click.

Ah.

His sister had always been fairly irritable when it came to battling, after all.

Of course she’d dictate whether or not they’d be allowed to best her.

Or even at least try to.

And he didn’t really know what that hack of her husband was like, but certainly he wasn’t a shining example of fairness either.

He clapped his wide hands gently, quietly, just to get the boys’ attention back on himself: “Well,” he commented in a jovial tone, “I reckon you should have all the time you might need to do what you want nowadays, wouldn’t you say?”

He looked at the words being processed in real time on the twins’ faces.

A moment more...

Oh.

Oh! Yes.

Yes, they did.

They could practice, now.

Whenever they wanted. Or almost, at least - there would be times when they wouldn’t, due to force majeure, like homework or meals or sleeping or other things, but - they could practice. They could train.

Whenever they wanted.

“You should get some exercise yourselves too,” Drayden noted, “You’re all skin and bones, poor knuckerlings. But nothing some wrassling and good food can’t fix. I can help with that too, don’t worry.”

“Too?” Ingo repeated. “As- as in you - we can, we could train our Pokémon with you? Too?”

“Wrassle?” echoes instead Emmet. “We wrassle?”

“Yes one and yes two.”

If they’d been a little meatier, they would have tackled him right off the bed and into a possible concussion on the floor with that hug. So on one hand, good; on the other, since he barely even budged, he needed to start scheduling regular sessions for them as soon as possible. With the first one today, hopefully.

He picked them both up effortlessly, their langly legs dangling a few inches from the floor: “So! You wanna try out some of those counters now?”

His ears rung for a hot second from their response.

“And then we wrassle you?” the younger insisted.

“Sweet Dragons, not me! I’d knock you clean out!” their uncle replied, hoisting them up on his shoulders like sacks of flour so he could fetch their notebook and Pokéballs while they dangled up there safe from danger: “Fraxure’s gonna show you the basics!”

“Isn’t that dangerous?” the eldest argued.

“If it were, I don’t think the Lophiris family would’ve survived as long as we did!”

[anki-of-beleriand]

A Heart Made of Glass ch.16

Summary: Ten years ago you left Wanda and the Avengers to heal your broken heart. You never stopped being a hero, just as you never stopped being in love with her. But life had to go on.

Now, after all that time, she is back and with her is a young woman needing help and an enemy that may not be as afraid as Wanda to lay a claim on you.

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff x Powered!F!Reader - Scarlet Witch x PoweredF!Reader - Past Wanda Maximoff x Vision - CarolxF!Reader

Warnings: Angst, drama, mentions of cheating, fluff, violence, smut, Switch!Reader, internalize homophobia, hurt, comfort, Wanda being a complete mess, anger management issues, jealousy, Requited/Unrequited love, idiots in love, swearing, mentions of alcohol. More tags as the story progess.

Author's Note: This story is a continuation of Dirty Little Secret I was really surprised at the response I got for the story, I did all the tags you guys ask for but if I forgot someone please do not hesitate to tell me. Thank you for the support.

The end is near, Reader and Wanda finally had some common ground to work with and now the only thing left is a happily ever after.

Please, do remember English is no my mother tongue so forgive my grammar, spelling and funny mistakes.

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14 - Chapter 15 - Chapter 16 - Chapter 17 - Epilogue

Chapter 16

A leap of Faith, a simple request

The first meeting in Nepal would be the first meeting of a series of visits Y/N did for over four months.

Wanda had been confused at first, though she found herself pleasantly surprised to find you in her lodge every morning sharing a good story or a training session. Sometimes, the both of you would reach the closest camp in which you would see many alpinists and hikers, all of them getting ready for a summit on Mount Everest or K2. Wanda didn’t dare to press over the sudden relationship she had been building with you, she was happy to receive your words and your caress, to see your smile or feel your lips on hers whenever the mood struck.

Every weekend had become a highly expected moment in her life, Wanda prepared everything to welcome you while also trying to get the courage to have a serious conversation with you. Would you finally stay more than a couple of days? Would you want to stay with her? What exactly was happening between the both of you?

There were many questions that still haunted Wanda, but she had not dare to voice them in fear of breaking the relationship she had with you. So, she opted to keep quiet while enjoying the moments the both of you shared until she was ready to face the reality of her emotions and give the last step towards you.

For more than four months you two had been sharing a relationship through the distance, and Wanda knew she had sworn to fight for you and not let go, and whatever fears or insecurities that had built in her should be put aside in favour of that leap of faith. Wanda had been nervous, but she arranged everything to be ready for your visit and, this time around Wanda was ready to ask you to stay or take her with you.

But, just as she got ready to clear things up within the both of you, just as she got ready to leave herself expose and at your mercy…you didn’t show up.

At first she thought it was normal, your life was still happening right in the outside world and you had been quite busy at your work back in Norway while also with your mission as hero. Wanda checked her phone and her email, but you didn’t send a message and after two days of waiting for you she knew you wouldn’t come that weekend.

Disappointment came rushing inside her mind, she waited for an explanation but nothing came and soon her disappointment transformed in sadness and the old doubts and fears drown her thoughts until she just tried to focus on her routine waiting for you to come the next weekend with an explanation.

The explanation never came and you didn’t show on that weekend.

And then, you didn’t show the next one, or the one after that.

Wanda tried to rationalize the situation, she tried to convince herself that you were busy or perhaps in a highly secretive mission but so far she had not received any news or any big going on in the outside world. It was as if you had vanished, and with you, any form of contacting you. Your phone didn’t work, and there was no way for her to get into contact with Natasha; for a moment Wanda thought about America but then she thought herself desperate and while she was dying to know what happened to you, a little voice inside her head told her perhaps, you grew bored of her and decided to simply not continue her visits any more.

As easily as you had begun this routine, you had decided to cut it over.

This was just a single thought of the many that came rushing inside her mind day after day, Wanda found herself busying herself with different activities inside the compound, she gave herself to the training and to the distractions while finding odd jobs in the temple and the small towns surrounding Kamar-Taj.

It worked, for a little while.

But there was nothing much one would do to quiet down the doubts and growing anxiety inside the heart. Wanda wanted to be angry at you, she wanted to be furious at your sudden dismissal of her, at your silence and sudden disappearance; but she couldn’t. Instead of that, she was just sad, and found herself trying to ignore her emotions while trying to get control of her life.

For over a month, Wanda tried to forget about you.

And while Winter was approaching, and she stood at the edge of a cliff overseen the beautiful landscape surrounding the Himalayas she tried to get a hold of her thoughts and her emotions. Tears rolled down her cheeks, but not a single thought came through her mind, the only thing she could do was feel and that was enough for the time being.

Wanda sensed the approaching presence of someone powerful, she didn’t need to pounder too much to know who was coming her way. With a quick gesture, she tried to wipe away the tears on her cheeks.

“You are quite difficult to locate when you decided to hide away, aren’t you, Wanda?”

Wanda tensed turning to the left, her green eyes gleaming with unshed tears furrowing her brows. Stephen was dressed in his fighting attire, he looked tired and a little dishevelled but otherwise untouched; the older man waved away the unasked question.

“Rough night, nothing important but I mess up and ended up with a house falling on top of me.” He offered a sheepish smile; Wanda raised a brow pressing her lips to hold back her smile.

“Right, what brings you here, Stephen?” Wanda finally asked tilting her head to focus her stare to the mountains. “I was trying to get some alone time, and I just…I don’t think I am a good company at the moment.”

Stephen nodded understanding the hint but ignoring it altogether, Wanda rolled her eyes not wanting to have any type of conversation with anyone. She scoffed when the man stood beside her, his hand reaching inside his pocket producing a single envelope. Wanda frowned tilting her head to the man who was trying really hard to keep his expression neutral.

“I understand, but I think I come here with news and perhaps to alleviate the turmoil you had been experimenting as of late.” The knowing glance he shot Wanda told the young with Stephen knew about her recent heartbreak.

She crossed her arms rolling her eyes while also getting a spark of curiosity, she squinted her eyes when Stephen waved away a single envelope, this time around he lost his smile and was showing a more serious façade.

“My mission took me to Florence, it was a last minute request by Stark and I decided to do so if only to shut the man up.” Stephen said talking a step closer to Wanda. “I met with some people there, and I was told to give you this.”

Now, Stephen had Wanda’s full attention, she grabbed the letter scrunching up her nose turning it around until her eyes fell on the familiar handwriting.

“This is…” Wanda trailed off, her frown deepening while the anger she had ignored up until then came back and she closed it almost throwing it away.

“She was hurt during a mission.” Stephen said before Wanda could speak or do something else, “It was supposed to be a routine safe and rescue mission but they found some troubles, she tried to play the hero role and got badly hurt.”

“She got hurt…” Wanda opened the letter missing the sympathetic glance Stephen sent her way.

“Nobody knew about her visits to you, Wanda.” Strange explained, “They found out as soon as she woke up and started asking for you, I think that may explain her absence as of late.”

“Hn, I didn’t even notice.” Wanda mumbled reading the letter you had tried to write to her, Stephen hid his snort behind a cough.

“Right, so you haven’t been mopping around and…”

“I wasn’t mopping!” Wanda exclaimed, her magic igniting in her hands while her cheeks coloured red. “I just…I was…I…”

“I know.” Stephen said nodding to the letter, “Tony sent a jet for you, it will be there until tomorrow morning, a car is waiting for you as well. Don’t be late.”

Wanda watched as Stephen turned around walking away, she played with her lips before calling out to the older man.

“Are you…I mean, late I’ve been…” Wanda sighed frustrated turning to Stephen. “I’m still trying to find myself, to do right and to get a hold of my emotions, are you sure I should go?”

“Wanda, you have been mopping around because you missed her,” Stephen cocked his head to the side, his eyes finding those of Wanda, “take the word of a man that lost everything for not being brave enough, Wanda, go after her and keep fighting for what you want, talk to her and don’t let any misunderstanding or lack of communication get in the way.”

With those last words, Stephen turned around and left.

Wanda stood there feeling the cold wind hitting her face, she grabbed the letter and went back to the words you had written for her. The explanations and the invitation to go to you, to stand beside you, to be a part of your life.

Wanda wrapped her arms around herself, she lowered her gaze and in a single moment of decision she went back to her cabin to get her things.

It was about time she stopped running from the things she wanted and start running after them.

The Amerigo Vespucci Airport was the second busiest airport in the Tuscany, located in the city of Florence it stood as a welcoming bacon to international travellers into a city that breath Renaissance, culture and history. The private section of the airport was a safe heaven for those who wanted to go incognito to the city, and Wanda soon found herself being attended as the jet landed in the city.

She glanced around while the customs and border protection agent came forth to speak with the pilot. She grabbed her backpack tightly, her eyes glancing around the place before they fell on a dark car waiting silently at the other end of the hangar. The officer spoke in broken English pointing at her then at the passport before nodding and giving back the document.

“It seems we are cleared, ma’am, the driver will take you to the agreed location.” The pilot said giving her the papers back before pointing to the car.

“Thank you.” Wanda offered a nervous smile before making her way to the car, once inside the driver merely gave a warm welcome before driving down the empty streets of the airport to the closest entrance.

Once they left the airport Wanda could enjoy the magnificent look that the city was offering her. She could see the Tuscan Cypress decorating the highway while the people drove without a care in the world. This kind of scenes always brought memories to Wanda, she couldn’t help but remembered being on the run without a chance of enjoying the places they visited or having a chance to actually have friends, go out, have a nice dinner.

Her world had been changing so much, she sometimes forgot there was another world right outside waiting to be discovered. Wanda smiled observing the busy streets with people coming in and out of work, the students enjoying the afternoon sun while running or walking around not a single tourist was on sight which told Wanda this was a part of the city reserved for the Italians living in the city.

She wondered if you were aware of her visit, if perhaps you had planned all of this just to get her out of the coldness that was Nepal into the warm that was the region of Tuscany at the moment. But so far she had not received a single call, and no body had come for her to the airport. She played with the idea of calling Tony but decided against it, if the man wanted to contact her he would have done so as soon as she entered the plane; a part of Wanda knew why they had kept silence, they were waiting to see how the story would end.

Wanda couldn’t blame them, she was also waiting patiently to see how her story with you would end.

Soon they left the busy streets to enter a more residential section of the city, Wanda watched as they went up the terrain with less people walking around and many houses protected by high fences and beautiful trees. She felt her heartbeat that tad bit faster, her hand sweating lightly while the tingles in her lower abdomen intensified.

The car turned around a corner and soon she found herself watching full properties, all guarded by wooden gates and walls protecting their inhabitants. She wondered just what kind of place where you located at, when the man turned one last time going up a hill until he reached a gate standing tall protected by a stoned arch and cypress sneaking out of a stoned wall. The man lowered the window while showing an ID to the gate’s security system, soon there was a small bell and the doors opened right in front of them.

Wanda could hardly wait to see you, she was glancing out of the window while playing with the words inside her head. The car stopped at the main gate, and Wanda couldn’t help but gasp.

“Wanda!” America came running wrapping her arms around the young woman who couldn’t help the shock from showing on her face.

“America?” Wanda returned the hug, stepping aside America gave her a weak smile.

“I missed you, you know?”

“I missed you too.” Wanda shrugged lightly, “I’m sorry I just…”

“I know, Y/N told me some things so…I get it.” America bounced on her feet running to where the bags were left. “But now, you’re here so I can forgive you for that.”

Wanda chuckled grabbing one of her bags and going with America inside the house.

The place was enormous, with two living rooms and a single dining room leading to the backyard and the pool Wanda could understand why they chose such location. America was talking non-stop, she told Wanda about school and the life in Norway; for Natasha and Yelena had been important that America learnt the basics while also learnt about her powers so whenever they had any easy mission America went with them.

“But this one, well it went out of control and…”

“Where is she?” Wanda finally asked when they reached the second floor.

America winced tilting her head, “she is asleep, pain medicine really takes a toll out of her.”

Wanda furrowed her brows; she glanced around trying to guess which one was your room but her eyes found those of America who was shooting her a sympathetic smile.

“Don’t worry, she will be up in no time.”

“I just…” Wanda brushed some hairs out of her face, “I just found out, after a month of not having any new from her I just…”

America pressed her lips together, after a moment of hesitation she pointed to the left to a long corridor leading to a single wooden door. Wanda hesitated for a moment but before she could move America placed a hand on her arm, her eyes twinkled strangely while she put on her best serious face.

“I’m glad to see you here, Wands, and I know you and Y/N had been seeing one another for some time,” Wanda could tell that in the last couple of months America had changed, no longer was she looking tired or scared, if anything she was looking more mature and relaxed, responsible as she grabbed the bags and stepped back.

“I really want for you guys to be happy, perhaps this could be your chance, you know?”

Wanda smiled nodding, “I know.”

“Good then, go before Natasha and Yelena get here, they get really overprotective of Y/N when she is in that state.” America turned around leaving Wanda alone.

With a sigh and wiggling hands, Wanda made her way to your room.

The place was covered in different shades of blue, the balcony faced the pool and the backyard, and the fresh wind of the afternoon was sneaking inside the room mixing the smell of flowers and nature inside your room. Wanda softened her features when her eyes fell on your sleeping form.

You were on your side, deeply asleep with your hand right above your face and one leg placed carefully on a pillow. It was protected by a cast, and your face and head were covered with bandages. You really were hurt, and soon Wanda realized all around the room there were medical implements to help out during the healing process.

With a knot on her throat, Wanda approached your bed her trembling fingers caressing your cheek while the tears blurred her vision for a moment. All this time, she should have looked for you, perhaps insist to try and see what happened instead of letting her own insecurities and her own fears to cloud her judgement.

“What took you so long?” Wanda almost fell down from the bed when you spoke, you offered a lazy smile your eyes fluttering opened.

“Y/N!”

“Wanda!” Your voice was hoarse, wincing as you turn on your back.

“You were awake?” Wanda asked with reproach in her voice.

You tried to sit down, it was taking some effort until Wanda came right in to help you out. Her arms wrapped around you, and she was close enough to feel your warmness against hers. You offered a smile shrugging.

“I was just resting not sleeping, thank you.” You rested your back on the wall, taking a good look at Wanda who decided to sit on the bed.

“You…” Wanda started finding the words strangled in her throat and her eyes filling up with tears.

“Hey, I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you about this.” You started grabbing her hand in yours, your thumb drawing circles on the back of her hand.

“It’s okay, I…” Wanda trailed off, she didn’t want to sound foolish by telling you the million questions that came to her mind.

She was not ready to share with you her inadequacy and her self-doubt. You nodded lightly, softening your features while squeezing her hand tenderly.

“I should have said something, but I just…I wanted you for myself.” You said softly, trying to clear your throat.

Wanda leaned to the closest bedside table where a single glass of water was resting, you took the glass grateful before continuing.

“I didn’t want anyone saying anything at all, I just…”

“I get it, I know what you mean…” Wanda hesitated before lifting her hand to brush away some strands of hair, she leaned in her lips parting slightly. “Y/N…”

You lifted your hand cupping her cheek in your palm, leaning in closing the distance by brushing your lips against hers. The kiss was soft, a simple gesture of reassurance for you and her, it last but a few seconds but it was enough to leave Wanda trembling and you with a racing heart.

“I missed you, Little Witch.” You mumbled pecking her lips, Wanda smiled nuzzling her face on your neck.

“I missed you too.”

Wanda leaned back, glancing out of the window before returning her eyes to you.

“I thought you didn’t want to continue with your visits.” She finally revealed looking away from you. “I thought I messed it up all over again, and I just…Y/N, what are we doing? What does it mean this? I just…”

You could see the conflicting emotions in her green eyes, how confused she was about what had happened in the last couple of months in which, once more, your relationship with her had shifted. You made yourself that questions moments before the mission, you had been standing by Yelena’s side when you realized how deeply in love you were with Wanda, how your feelings for her were the same they had shifted and they had matured and at the moment they were more intense.

You weren’t the only one thinking that, or even experimenting it. Seeing the anguish in Wanda’s face told you she was just as deeply sensitive with the whole situation as you were.

“Walk with me?” You asked tenderly, Wanda furrowed her brows before nodding.

“Yes, sure I…” She stood up watching as you signalled the far wall where a single crutch was resting.

“You need help? I mean there is only one.”

“Yeah, I didn’t break the leg per se, but I did some serious damage to the muscle and the joint, so walking is difficult.” You explained standing up with her help and that of the crutch.

“So, you are at my mercy?” Wanda asked wiggling her brows, you raised a single eyebrow shooting a daring glance.

“You want to try that theory out?” The blush that form on Wanda’s face was beyond adorable and you couldn’t help but laugh. “Good, perhaps later we could see if I am or not at your mercy.”

“I know that I am at yours.” Wanda finally said walking past you and opening the door for you to come out of the room.

Your heart jumped happily, your smile growing at the sight of Wanda there with you once more. With a chuckled you limped engaging Wanda in a conversation about the mission that had left you out of commission for a while.

__________________

“When did she get here?” Yelena glanced out of the window of the kitchen, she squinted her eyes following you and Wanda as the both of you strolled through the yard.

“Uhm, around three?” America put the spoon on the gelato Yelena brought for her, “I think so, she came here in one of Tony’s cars.”

“Of course it was Stark.” Yelena huffed turning around, she lifted a hand pointing an accusing finger at America, “and you let her in!”

America rolled her eyes, she knew Yelena tended to be highly protective of Y/N but as of late her arguments against Wanda had worn thin and she was just trying to get a hold of what was really happening and how everything would end, Much like everyone in the life of Y/N and Wanda.

“Please, you and I both know they have been seeing one another for more than two months, nobody thought of telling Wanda about the mission and she was really affected by this.” America rested her cheek on her hand, her eyes on Yelena.

“What?” Yelena grabbed her own gelato shaking her head.

“Do you think they will go back to being together?”

Yelena leaned back against the counter, she thought about the things that had happened in the past. She had been there, and she had heard the story and the wounds, but after they learnt the full story and went through so much, forgiveness was not a crazy thought. You had been so happy as of late, singing and laughing, being a different kind of person and Yelena knew she owed it to Wanda coming back and wanting to be a part of your life.

“I think it is a possibility, but this time around if something were to go wrong…” Yelena left in the air the possibility of negative consequences, America tilted her head thoughtful.

“I think this time around could be different, and I think that’s the reason why they had been dancing around one another, you know?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s just that if this time around everything goes well, they have seen how their lives could turn out to be. The twins, and the house and the married life, everything would be possible and happiness would be there.” America shrugged, “I just thing sometimes we are more open to the negative outcome instead of the positive one because we are afraid of getting hurt or getting lost in the feeling.”

“You don’t have a right to sound so wise,” Yelena scoffed shaking her head, America smirked.

“I learnt from the best.”

“Oh, thank you…”

“I mean, Natasha…”

“Brat.” Yelena threw a paper towel that America grabbed in the air, she was about to throw it again when a heavy hand rested on her shoulder.

“Children, please.” Natasha gave her sister a glance before turning to America, “what are you two discussing about?”

“Y/N and Wanda.”

Natasha lifted a brow, her eyes following the stare of Yelena until she found Wanda and Y/N standing in the far corner of the yard.

“When did Wanda get here?”

“This afternoon.” America explained, Natasha softened her features as she watched your smile and the easy conversation growing between the both of you.

“I guess that’s good, right?” Natasha ruffled America’s hair winking at Yelena who chuckled at the gesture.

“I guess, what do you think?” Yelena gauged Natasha’s face, she was waiting for a signal that revealed the real thoughts of Natasha but the woman was a tomb.

“I think we need to make more food, and you two have a mission tomorrow so no staying up late watching silly movies.”

“You know I am a highly functional adult and that I can go to bed whenever I want?”

“I think you are an adult, but the functional part is up for debate.” Natasha replied chuckling at the offended expression in Yelena’s face.

America laughed ignoring the mocking glare from Yelena.

“I am a trained assassin, you know, I can…”

“I’m just going to say two words,” America smirked in triumph lifting her hand and lifting a finger when she said those two words, “Kate Bishop.”

Yelena opened her mouth and then closed it again, her cheeks coloured red with her hands wiggling to try and make a point that was lost when Natasha came closer to her to close her mouth by putting two fingers under her chin.

“She got you there, sis.”

America laughed standing up before running away from the kitchen, Yelena screaming in Russian while going after her. Natasha shook her head taking a sip from the glass of juice she just poured for her. The day was getting old, the sun was already gone and the sky was changing into a darker version of blue, yet even with the drop of temperature and the sudden changed you and Wanda were still outside.

Natasha sighed.

Peace was so odd at times, but it was for moments like this that she lived for. With a final glance she turned around and went the living room her voice reaching out the two kids that were laughing and screaming on the second floor.

“America! Yelena! You have to prepare dinner!!”

You welcome the change in atmosphere from the confines of your room.

In the last couple of days, Natasha had done nothing more than babying you under the medical recommendations. It had been a necessary evil considering you were out of commission for over two weeks. Wanda listened carefully to your story, with each word her heart shrank making the very fibre of her emotions trembled under the possibility of you not surviving such an incident.

“It was really confusing at first, I woke up with everything hurting and in a hospital with Natasha and Yelena all over me,” you stopped walking turning to Wanda, your hand seeking out hers feeling the softness of her palm against yours, “I remembered right away that you probably were asking where I was and why I haven’t called at all.”

Wanda stiffened her eyes drifting away though her hand tightened lightly around yours.

“I just thought you would be busy, I knew you have your job and the occasional missions.” Wanda tried to downplay the turmoil she went through when you didn’t show on that first weekend, then the second one, and then the third one.

She was not ready to admit to you that she had been lost, and that the old insecurities came back to push her to the edge of feeling alone and not enough. You tilted your head taking a closer look to the young woman standing in front of you, observing how her lips tensed and her eyes refused to look at you directly; the way she kept a hold of your hand and the sudden softening of her voice told you all you needed to know at the moment.

“You know I would never walk away from you without telling you first, Wands.” You winced moving from one foot to the crutch on your right hand. “I never told anyone I was going over to Nepal to visit you because I didn’t want them snooping around in my things, I wanted this to be ours.”

There afternoon sun was fading away slowly, and the wind of the Tuscany region enveloped both of you in a warm embrace. Wanda lifted her free hand only to let it fall again, her eyes flickering to your face then to your lips and finally to your joined hands.

“I know.” She finally stated though her voice trembled, lacking the conviction your were looking for.

“Are you still doubting what is happening here, Wands?” You asked stepping a little closer, Wanda offered a weak smile shrugging.

“What is happening, Y/N? I’m still…You have come and go for over five months, and we have talked and we have shared amazing moments and still I am not sure as to where I stand eith you.” Wanda didn’t want to be so honest all of a sudden, she wasn’t looking to actually be honest and broke with such a tirade but the trip and the lack of sleep coupled with her worries about her own situation brought this over.

Your eyes dropped alongside your smile, your hand never let go of that of Wanda but you did tried to take a step closer. Wanda didn’t fight, instead she also came closer trying to get a hold of you to see if the questions she had would be answered.

“I thought everything had been clear, but I guess we never did talk about it clearly, did we?”

“Not really.” Wanda mumbled lifting her hand towards her hair, “I’m sorry I shouldn’t bring this over and…”

Wanda trailed off completely, her body stiffening when you leaned forward placing a peck at the corner of her lips. She could feel the heavy stare of someone watching them from the house, while you came at her without any shame or hesitation.

“I think I told you before, the same way you have told me, Wands. I don’t want this to be over without at least giving it a try.” You squeezed her hand offering a half smile, “I guess I wasn’t clear enough so, let me set the record straight and ensure there are no more doubts in you.”

Wanda opened her mouth to ask what exactly you mean by that, but at that moment the both of you heard Natasha calling out to you.

“Y/N!! Your medication! Now!”

You winced turning to see Natasha standing by the threshold, her hands on her hips and a knowing glare shot your way. Under that stare you understood Natasha had a second intention for the call out, you snorted turning to Wanda who had a glint of disappointment in her green eyes, you chuckled winking at her.

“Don’t worry, Little Witch, tomorrow we will have the house for ourselves and we can continue with this conversation.” You then nodded towards the house, “now let’s go, I really am feeling the pain kicking in and perhaps taking the medication won’t be as bad with you at my side.”

Wanda offered a half smile, her helped you out before taking a deep breath and speaking closer to your ear.

“You want me to play nurse?”

You almost fell down on your face, turning to the mischievous smirk she was now wearing. You chuckled nodding.

“I would like that very much, Little Witch, but Nats would probably kill you if we get sidetracked.”

Wanda snorted though whatever tension she had worn moments ago soon dissipated; she opened her mouth then closed again until she just shrugged turning to you.

“Well, we always have tomorrow, right? You did say we will have the house all for ourselves.”

Now, that comment hit you straight in your mind and core, and you couldn’t help but laugh while trying to cover up your flustered cheeks. Wanda sighed in relief, her doubts quieted down by your reassurance and the welcoming committee she had from your part, seeing you again had made her happy and Wanda soon realized there was no place on earth she would rather be as long as she was by your side.

Wanda just needed to let her last doubts aside to take a leap of faith and confessed this to you. There was nothing more she wanted that be yours for as long as you wanted her, and for you to be hers for as long as you allowed her to have you.

______________

You limped around the kitchen grabbing cups and bowls from the cabinets placing them carefully on the counter.

The music coming from your phone filled the silence in the kitchen, coffee was the very first thing you always prepared before anything else and the strong smell of the coffee was soon filling out the room. You limped to the fridge glancing around until you found the milk and the orange juice, putting them out you went to grab some of the strawberries almost falling on your face.

“You really love putting yourself in harm’s way, don’t you?” You chuckled feeling the arm around your waist making sure you were not hitting the floor, Wanda was smiling down at you helping you up on your feet.

“What can I say? I was just waiting for a cute hero to come and rescue me?” Wanda rolled her eyes but never lost her smile you grabbed the strawberries and then close the door.

“What were you doing?” Wanda finally asked looking around the kitchen then at you.

“Breakfast?” You tried limping towards the coffee maker, “I just thought I will make breakfast and then we can go into the city.”

Wanda tapped on the counter playfully, her smile just growing with her eyes following your every move.

“The city? You have plans for today?” Wanda leaned forward excitedly; you lifted your face blinking confusedly at Wanda.

“We have plans, Wands. You and Me.” You replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, Wanda tilted her head with her heart missing a beat at the sight of your grin.

“I…let me help you, I think it would be faster.” Wanda winked at you going to help with the fruit and the cereal.

You watched her out of the corner of your eyes, a shiver of pure pleasure and contentment went through your body and settled on your lower abdomen your heart twisting painfully your chest. You knew the moment you made the decision to go after Wanda that everything could turn out with the both of you, love had always been there but sometimes people needed more than love to build up a relationship.

The last couple of months you and Wanda had done just that, build a relationship that went beyond the initial passion and juvenile love you felt for one another. You chuckled when she put the bowl filled with cereal, milk and strawberries right in front of you before putting a chair closer so you could accommodate.

“I was supposed to be working on this and served you breakfast, you know?” You were about to stand up and go for your coffee but Wanda winked at you placing a mug filled with coffee.

“Black, two spoonful of sugars and, of course, enough coffee to kill you instead of waking you up.”

“Damn, you’re the best.” You were about to say something else but Wanda was faster than you and soon her lips when on yours giving you a soft kiss before stepping away. “Wha-what was that?”

“I like my breakfast with a kiss from you, I was getting use to it I just thought…” Wanda was losing her confidence as she started talking but whatever else she was going to say you took the chance to cut it out by another kiss.

“Shall we eat and then hit the road?” You asked putting a strand of hair behind Wanda’s ear.

“Yeah, yeah that sounds… nice.”

Ten years ago their relationship had been different.

It was filled with passion, sex was something you knew pretty well and took advantage of as a way to escape reality, a tool used for missions or in your leisure time. For Wanda it had been the first-time experimenting emotions and pleasure she had been forbidden to practice or to even think about during the war consuming her country. Your conversations had been everything, music and movies, books and hobbies, it had been an immature relationship that had meant the world to you.

Wanda taught you about being in love.

Your broken heart had bled for a very long time, not really understanding why after everything the both of you had shared it ended up with Wanda looking for comfort and love in another’s arms. With time, you understood why, and while you didn’t have to like the answer it was something you were trying to make peace with.

Now, ten years and some months later you stood right before the very same woman you had fallen in love within your teen years. Whatever love you held for her changed, and instead of diminished with time it slept until your paths crossed again and it grew into something different.

This time around your conversations were different and while passion was still present, it was not about the physical connection.

You found Wanda’s eyes across the room, her facial features completely relaxed wearing a soft smile while listening to the explanation done by the guide. You were sitting down on a bench brough specially for you, the discomfort on your leg had started almost ten minutes ago but you didn’t want to leave the city just yet, not when it was pretty obvious Wanda was happy.

“Where next?” Wanda asked slightly giddy, her eyes sweeping around the Piazza della Signoria admiring the architecture and the sculptures and the fountain of Neptuno.

It was a warm day, with sweet breeze and streets filled with people running around the busy streets of Florence’s downtown. The weather had been kind of warm accompanied by a sweet breeze that made it easier to walk around, the conversation was directed to meaningless subjects that brought laughter to Wanda with your heart missing a bet whenever you glance into her green eyes.

“Well, there is another place I want to show you but it is not the right time yet,” you watched at the time before turning to Wanda.

“Which place?”

“Oh, it is a surprised, Little Witch.” You winked at her taking her hand in yours, Wanda fixed her position so as to not bother the crutch and your leg.

“Okay, so far I have liked the surprises you have given me, so wherever you want to take me I’m all in.”

“Good then, next stop would be the Gardens Boboli.” You declared limping slowly towards the closest street leading to Ponte Vecchio and the Palazzo.

It was the moment the both of you stepped into the garden that you realized how well you knew Wanda.

She was completely stunned by the sight, her mouth hanged open and her eyes gleamed amazed by the architecture of the place. You smiled behind her, your heart skipping a beat under the charm of her smile and her stare. Wanda was standing right beside you forgetting about her doubts and her fears, and letting herself go enjoying the moments she had always dreamt to share with you.

You enjoyed taking her to new places, you heard her stories about being on the run while being completely lost and sometimes confined to a room or a place without the opportunity to enjoy the world out there. You always thought it was kind of sad, to be so afraid of what would happen to you if you showed yourself the way you were to not really enjoy what the world had to offer. One of the things you enjoyed the most was the expression on her face whenever you told her a new story or showed her a new place, it was a world of pure discovery and it told you exactly what you wanted and with whom you wanted to be with.

After eight hours of just walking and talking, spending most of the morning getting to visit the most important places in the historical Florence, you started feeling the pain in your leg and body. You concealed your pain taking deep breaths while limping heavily down the streets, Wanda stood by your side completely aware of your discomfort.

“Y/N, please I know you wanted to show me this place but…I mean, it can wait, you don’t look well.” She stood right before you, her free hand cupping your cheek with concern.

You winced trying to offer a smile but coming out with a grimace.

“I know, I know it’s just this is the best part.” You pouted letting out a huff while nodding to the hill that was just a few meters away.

“What can be so important that you’re risking this pain in your leg?” Wanda finally asked cleaning up some of the sweat in your forehead.

“You.” The answer came before you could stop it, but there was only honesty in your words.

Wanda stopped her movements locking her eyes with your, she felt her cheek colouring red while her lips curved into a tiny smile.

“You’re such a sweet talker.” She softened her tone, though the small frown of concern never left her features.

“Is it working?” You asked, Wanda snorted looking away.

“You know it is.” She finally said wrapping her arm around your waist and making sure to give you the much needed it support to hold your body.

“Good then, help me out and then I will do whatever you want.” You winked at Wanda who could merely rolled her eyes at your words.

“I will hold you to that.”

You chuckled holding back any exclamation of pain while walking the last few meters to the top.

“This, my dear Wanda is Piazza Michelangelo.” You presented the place with a flourish of your hand, your grin grew when you realized Wanda had been surprised by the sight.

She didn’t let go of your hand while stepping closer to the balcony, her head turned to you then back again before she caught sight of your grimace.

“This is beautiful.” She mumbled taking you to one of the steps overseeing the city.

“So, was it worth it?” You let go a breathy whimper, intertwining your hand with hers.

“It is worthy mostly because I’m with you.” Wanda confessed resting her head on your shoulder. “But I don’t think it will be enough to justify the pain you are going through at the moment.”

You snorted but said nothing else, for what seemed like hours the both of you sat in silence observing the buildings and the landscape that was Florence. The magnificence of the Duomo governing a city that had been the birthplace of the rebirth of mankind. You closed your eyes allowing the warm on Wanda’s hand to bring comfort to your heart.

“Yesterday you were questioning our relationship as of late.” You broke the silence, never taking your eyes from the city.

“I was just confused, and a little angry for not having heard from you in a while, Y/N.” Wanda started trying to explain her emotions. “These last months had been like a dream come true for me, I never thought I would be close to you again, or that we could be like this.”

“You never thought I would forgive you.” You stated, Wanda shook her head unable to answer to your words.

“I never thought I could forgive you, Wanda.” This time around Wanda lifted her head turning to face you, her hands on yours. “last year I finally understood many things about you and about me. I even got to understand our relationship and what exactly had happened to the both of us.”

The sound of muffled conversations filled the silence in between, you could see people laughing while enjoying their time together in such a place. The sun was starting to face, but the day was still far from over: to your left Wanda sat facing both the city and yourself, and you had to wonder if perhaps you were doing the right thing.

“When I started our visits I did so without any specific expectations,” you continued furrowing your brow, trying to have the conversation of your life with such a pain was not an easy task. “I thought it would be good for you and me to see where this really was going and if it was worth it.”

“And, is it?” Wanda inquired rather frightened by your answer.

You turned to her, your lips curving into a smile and your eyes gleaming with deep emotion.

“It is worth it, Wanda. I don’t want you to be alone anymore, and I don’t want to be away from you either.” You stated putting your hand in your pocket, Wanda held her breath when you pulled out a small box from it.

“What…” She remembered the box she opened all those months ago in which she discovered the plans you had made for your future with her. She was trembling by then, her heart almost leaving her chest and a horde of wild butterflies fluttering their winds inside her abdomen.

“It is not what you think it is, not yet anyway.” You lifted your free hand before opening lightly, inside was resting a single necklace made of white gold and a single Tourmaline stone matching Wanda’s eye.

“Why…I mean, what…” Wanda trailed off not really knowing what to say, you shrugged making sure you were putting it on her, your lips right beside her ear.

“With this necklace, Wanda, I want to promise myself to you.” Your whispered sent a shiver down her back, you sighed staying still gathering your strength to continue. “I don’t want to repeat the mistakes of the past, and I want to believe that second chances mean a new chapter in our lives. So, please accept this as an offering for you to be with me and, this time around, let’s just see where it gets us.”

You found yourself being hugged by her, your eyes were wide open and your arms stood rigid at your sides. You could feel the wetness on your neck, the sign of her tears and the soft whimpers leaving her lips while she poured her answer in the embrace. After a while, your own arms moved to return it, closing your eyes while enjoying the closeness of the woman you had fallen in love with all those years ago and had not stopped loving ever since.

When Wanda leaned back, you could see those green eyes twinkling with the same love she had always showed you, the same one that had changed over the years but instead of diminished had transformed itself and had mature enough to love and let herself be loved.

“I love you.” Wanda whispered those words without any fear of rejection, she finally let go of what she had been holding all this time, all the pain, and the suffering had broken and now all that stood before her was a future you were proposing. “I just love you, I can’t imagine anybody else by my side, I just can hope this time around I don’t disappoint you, or hut you, I don’t want to I…”

“Hey, that’s fine, one step at a time, okay?” Wanda nodded holding your hand, at that moment a sharp electrifying pain went through your leg and abdomen making you gasp clenching your eyes closed.

You had been trying to hide the fat your leg had been killing you for quite some time, the position you were in had not been ideal and after a while the pain became far too much. You hated this only broke the moment you were living with Wanda, the young witch was on top of you right away checking over your leg and your body with a concern look.

“What is it? Does it hurt too bad?”

“It’s nothing.” You grumbled clenching your fists, Wanda dropped her stare frowning at you.

“You look in pain,” Wanda grabbed your hand stepping closer to you while crunching up her nose, she was examining you. “You have been walking all day, of course you’re not okay.”

You tried to wave away her concern, trying to stand up only for your legs to feel weak all of a sudden. She was right on you to hold you up.

“I think I can… ugh…” You sat down closing your eyes for a moment, Wanda knelt beside you brushing your hair and cupping your cheeks.

“I think it is enough, I can carry you and we can go to the car,” Wanda checked you over trying to remember how far away from the parking lot the both of you were.

“N-no, that won’t be necessary, we still have a lot to visit and…” You tried to stand up but Wanda put a hand on your shoulder shaking her head.

“Don’t be stubborn, I can see it hurt you.” Wanda cupped your face in her hands, placing a kiss on your forehead. “Let me help you, please?”

She grabbed your hand in hers, her eyes pleading to you to stop your stubbornness. You closed one eye, the other one falling on the gemstone she was now wearing. With a grumbled, you nodded accepting her help.

“Okay, we can go home…I don’t have energy to take us there, but I can take us to the car.”

“Are you sure? I think I can help you out and we can make our way over there.” Wanda continued brushing your hair away and wiping your forehead.

“Yeah, it is close enough for me, and I don’t think I can actually walk.” You replied sheepishly, Wanda rolled her eyes already knowing you would act the tough act until you really felt helpless.

With a flicker of your hand and her help, the both of you crossed the shadows until you ended up right in front of the car. After that, the ride home was done in relatively silence, your pain increasing as the time passed by. Wanda couldn’t help but sent worried glances your way, her hand on yours trying to calm you down by distracting you with stories or questions you were ready to answer.

The Villa was still empty, Natasha had gone into the city on some sort of mission, and Yelena and America had left earlier without giving any sort of explanation. You grabbed Wanda tightly, almost falling on your face when another jolt of electricity went through your body.

“Sorry.” You mumbled; Wanda shook her head making sure you rest comfortably on your bed. “We were having a good moment, and I really wanted it to be more romantic, the sort of moment in which I will clear up your doubts but…”

Wanda sat facing you, her hands making quick work on your shirt and pants, her fingertips moving delicately with the frown still in place. You grabbed her hand in yours kissing her before helping her out in the process of getting you into more comfortable clothes.

“You don’t have to be sorry for that, I enjoyed our time together and we still have time for a conversation.” Wanda replied making sure you were quite comfortable on the bed.

“I don’t want you to think I left because I preferred the mission, or because I didn’t want to be anymore, you know?” You were breathing hard by then, the injury on your leg had been bad enough to let you feel useless while having one of those attacks.

“I know.”

“I was enjoying our little meetings; I think we never got a chance to do what we did on them.” This time around you smiled feeling the softness of a cotton towel on your face, fresh water touched your lips and you welcome the beverage while also trying to swallow the pills Wanda placed on your hand.

“I enjoyed them as well, I was afraid you have grown tired of me, that perhaps you had finally gotten what you wanted it before leaving.” Wanda confessed finally sitting down at your side, her hand on yours.

You shook your head putting her hand to your lips, the heavy doses of the pills alongside with the tiredness of the day was catching up with you.

“Thank you for coming here, and for not turning me away, Little Witch.”

Wanda softened lightly she leaning in placing a kiss on your forehead.

“Don’t mention it, Love, I’m here.” The endearing term slipped her lips without noticing, you gave her a quick stare before smiling. “Let me give you the last pill and then I leave you to rest.”

You frowned shaking your head grabbing her hand, “no, please just…”

“Y/N you need to take the medication,” Wanda started but you cut it off shaking your head.

“No, I mean, don’t go.” You took a deep breath, your voice coming on short gasps, “Stay with me, please? I want to be with you.”

Wanda felt the warm on her cheeks, she broke into a timid smile that didn’t go away walking around your room grabbing the last of the pills before placing it on your tongue. You drank more water shifting slightly to leave an open space for the other woman.

With some hesitation, Wanda took her shoes off and her jeans, she grabbed a pair of shorts and then went right in with you on the bed. Wanda stayed still her back resting on the pillows chewing on her lips until you snuggled closer to her.

“You don’t have to be so tense; you know?” You closed your eyes, a playful smile on your lips. “I am not in the right physical state to offer you some interesting games to help you relax but I am not against them if it helps.”

“Y/N! I thought you were sleepy?” Wanda shifted her body to welcoming you in her arms, you chuckled observing her red cheeks and dilated pupils.

“I am but you were just so tense, let me just rest for a while and I promise you later on I will bite if that’s what you need.”

Wanda rolled her eyes finding adorable your chuckled and your expression just as you started falling asleep. She let her fingertips caress your head, while she too close her eyes.

This was all that she needed it.

This was all the comfort she was seeking out.

A day ago, she had been mad, but most of all, she had been heartbroken believing herself a fool for ever thinking you could forgive her past sins. Or for even entertained the idea you would want her back in your life, now she was just lying there with you in her arms, fast asleep and a necklace that sealed a promise between the both of you.

With a whispered, ‘I love you’, from her part Wanda too fall asleep with the same content smile you were wearing in your sleep.

_____________________________________________________________

Next Chapter: Reader and Wanda have some fun together, Natasha comes with news and Yelena and America had started a new secret group everyone knows about but they like the ilussion of secrecy. Reader and Wanda have stop running and as time passes they finally take one last step towards happiness.

[modelbus]

Hello!! I LOVE your writing, like I’m obsessed! So, I can’t tell if your requests are open, buttt if they are, I would DIE for some fluff turned to angst of a fem!reader who is in a group with cc!Ranboo, cc!Tubbo, cc!Wilbur and cc!Tommy nicknamed the chaos squad by the fandom, where she is the least popular in the group and a rumour spread that shes only in it for the popularity, so they slowly stoped inviting her to streams and vlogs and ghosting her.

it could start with like three two sentence stories about the group (or something), how it was formed just fluffy moments, and then be like “but it didn’t stay like that for long..” and explain why she was subtly kicked from the group before a scene where shes streaming and gets asked about why shes not been in any videos anymore.

PHEW that was ALOT, if its to long you can obviously shorten it or just not do it- but if requests are open and you like the idea, I would love to see something like this!! <3

PS. You are super cool, keep up the amazing work!! (When you want to ofc)

-✨🌌🌙 Anon

Thank you so much! I tried my best to include everything :D This literally took me out of my writing slump

Part 2 :)

Pairing(s): cc!Ranboo, cc!Tubbo, cc!Wilbur and cc!Tommy x Fem!Reader (Platonic)

Cut Chaos

The feeling of belonging was something nearly everyone chased after. After all, being out of place was simply… lonely. And, somehow, you found yourself slotting into the weirdest place in the world.

A handful of stupid friends.

You always found yourself drawn to dumbasses, in the most affectionate way. Like looks for like, you suppose. And shit, did you find some people that could make you cry laughing even on the worst days.

Ranboo, Tubbo, Wilbur, Tommy. Four people that made the sun rise every day, that dragged you out of bed for the stupidest vlogs to ever exist. Fans adored the five of you together so much that you got a group name for the first time in your career: the Chaos Squad.

Truly, it was a fitting name. The things that the five of you got up to, you’re certain no normal sane person would do. But, well, your job as a streamer already set you apart from the category of “normal” a long time ago, so you definitely didn’t mind the messes you got into with them.

From Tommy dragging the group to an abandoned island, saying it’d be fun to try to escape (you fell out of a tree and Wilbur sprained his ankle), to screaming along at Lovejoy concerts, it felt like the five of you were unstoppable.

And God, did you love them. It didn’t matter how many times Ranboo hit his head on things, you’d still laugh. It didn’t matter that you literally passed out from laughing so hard once, you were still happy. Pure, unfiltered love.

The five of you against the world, forever. You could see it, in those sunny days where you grinned so hard your cheeks hurt (they were the first ones to make you do that—the realization only made you grin harder). The perfect idea of happiness.

Was it any wonder things didn’t stay that way, that perfect, for long?

A rumor.

It always seemed to start with one of those, nowadays. A simple murmur among fans that grew and grew, until you were closing out of twitter at 2, 4, 5 AM, debating if you should just delete the app and put your status on “Do Not Disturb.”

You accepted the fact that being a female content creator was going to be a struggle a long time ago. It was a fact, something you knew you couldn’t avoid, especially in gaming. Having rumors about you online wasn’t new. It would never be new, not as long as you were yourself.

But you thought you’d be past caring about them by now. You thought the tight panic that gripped your heart, made it hard to breathe, was a thing of the past. So stupid.

One private account turned into multiple threads, turned into trends on the trending tab.

Everyone thought you were using your friends, the chaos squad as a whole, just to boost your career. To leech off anyone’s subscribers, just for some money in your pocket.

The idea made you sick to your core.

How dare they? How dare they ever think you didn’t genuinely care for the four? That they were anything less than the lightness in your heart, the freedom on your mind?

Rumors.

You ignored them. Even the thought of addressing them made you feel pissed off like you’ve never been before. It was such an absurd idea! At the very least, you knew your friends would see past the hateful people.

Right?

It starts with an unanswered message in the group chat.

Unanswered messages weren’t new. A stray comment tended to get lost in the general mess that the group chat was, so you weren’t concerned. Just laughed to yourself quietly; it wasn’t important anyways, just a photo of a cat you saw.

Until it happened again. And again. Until more of your messages went ignored than responded to, until the group chat had less and less messages each day.

When the first vlog comes out, the process repeats. It’s on Tommy’s channel, of course. Him, Ranboo, Tubbo, and Wilbur. The chaos squad, just without you. It surprised you, because you never even realized they filmed a video, and normally all of you share upcoming videos.

All the warning signs were obvious, and you were too much of a damn fool.

You filmed one vlog with them after that, exploring a supposedly haunted house, before you woke up a month later and realized you hadn’t talked to them in a week.

One week turns into two, two into three, until you’ve realized what’s happened. You were gone, out of the picture. Happiness had slipped through your fingers faster than you could’ve ever comprehended, and now you were in a dark room—literally.

But what could you do? If they didn’t want you, there was nothing you could do to stop the unraveling of your universe.

So you did the same thing you did before them, defaulting back to what was safe: streaming alone.

Today, it’s just a mindless game. Yesterday was the same, and fuck, this isn’t the same anymore. Not when you don’t have Tubbo in the chat sending messages, or Wilbur using Text-To-Speech.

But you’re here, still streaming. Still going, no matter how tempting it is to just shut off your computer and pretend the last months of your life never happened.

There’s always fans though, and if anything cheers you up, it’s them. So your donations are on, allowing them to be read aloud while you play the silly little unpacking game.

“Where am I putting the diploma guys? Where does this go?” You ask, mouse hovering over the virtual object. “Maybe I’ll just put it under the pillow…”

“StarEmojis donated $15! If up is down and yes is no, how many sides does a triangle have?”

“Thank you, but… uh...” You narrow your eyes at the message. “None, it’s a circle?”

Shrugging, you drag the diploma in the game to under the pillow. The riddle sounds familiar, but not one you know the answer to. It sounds like something Wilbur would send in the group chat at 2 in the morning, honestly.

With that thought in mind, your eyes flicker over the user that donated it. StarEmojis. Not Wilbur.

You’re so stupid for hoping. For the jump in your heart, for the frantic searching.

“StarStarMoon donated $20! Why aren’t you in any Chaos Squad videos anymore? Love you!”

Air catches in your lungs, dread swelling in your chest as your hands still on the mouse and keyboard. That shouldn’t have gotten past the moderators, but it did.

And now you have to answer it.

It wasn’t like you could tell the truth: that you weren’t good enough. That even your best friends didn’t believe you over rumors from strangers online.

Any lie would have a chance of getting back to them though. Not that you can imagine them caring, not anymore.

You swallow past the lump in your throat that’s killing you, taking a breath in before answering. One chance to get the fans to move on, one chance to find the impossible balance between the agony inside of you and cool indifference.

“We’re all just busy.” You say, forcing a smile on your face.

It’s true, at least. Everyone is busy. Everyone except you, that’s it.

“Just scheduling problems. Wil- Wilbur has Lovejoy practices and performances.” You stumble over his name. Did you even have the right to call him Wil anymore? “And Tommy is just always busy. He’s the busiest person, I swear.”

Is that true anymore? You don’t know. He used to be, but you used to help force him to take breaks. Was he taking breaks? You’ll never know.

With another forced smile, you give a half-hearted shrug. “So yeah, just busy, don’t worry guys.”

It’s with baited breath that you wait, eyes scanning chat to see if they bought it. From what you’re seeing, they have.

“Now we need to reorganize these clothes, because they’re killing me like this—“

Your discord pings quietly on another monitor, and you scramble to open it. Just your mods apologizing for letting the donation go through. You send a quick message back to them before pushing the donation to the back of your head just like everything relating to the group you’re no longer part of.

What could you do, anyways?

This was out of your control.

[dellalyra]

Hi! Do you remember in the "Family formations" part "Kind" Megumi said that he hopes his future partner will be kind. Imagine when Megumi and Yuji finally start dating, reader will tell Megumi that he found the perfect partner, because he is very kind, like Megumi wanted. I think about it and this is soo cute! (actually I requested it like a week ago by anonymous, but I'm pretty sure something is wrong with my anonymous function. But if you already got it, I'm so sorry, I just wanted to make sure)

“I’ll do this dishes!” Yuuji clambers off his chair at the dining table, gathering all plates and silverware at once before you could even protest.

“Ya know, if sorcery doesn’t work out then you’d make one hell of a waiter.” Satoru laughs from beside you.

Megumi moves to stand and help his boyfriend, but is quickly shoved back down with a warning to stay with his parents.

Three and a half year old Akio is sitting on his boosted chair, more pasta on his face than in his tummy and your 5 month old baby girl, Mirai is cuddled on her father’s lap as she suckles on a bottle before bedtime.

You can hear the dishwasher being loaded, with a soft humming and the occasional muttered word from Yuuji to your cat who is presumably receiving clandestine leftovers.

Megumi is looking at him through the kitchen door, and the soft lamplight shines on his sharp features - making his beautiful eyes look like the greenest emeralds and casting shadows from his long lashes. The look on his face - you’ve seen that look.

That contentment, the adoration, respect and gratitude mixed with amusement and amazement.

You’ve seen that look before.

In your husband’s face, when he looks at you.

That’s the look of real love, the true kind.

It’s the look you give your Satoru, too.

Many years ago, one night when you were barely 21 and the kids only small children - you remember them witnessing the aftermath of a gripping nightmare that had you reliving the loss (albeit, temporary) of the love of your life. You remember them both crawling into bed beside you - and speaking of the love they hoped to find. A blueprint set for them, tried and tested, in the couple who raised them. The plan and image of a love for the ages, a ride-or-die devotion and marriage of soulmates.

You remember your little Tsumiki - hoping for a prince, or a king. A fairytale to sweep her off her feet.

Megumi - his was so simple it shook you to your core. When asked what he wanted in the one he loved, the then 6 year old only listed one thing.

He wanted his love to be kind.

In the moment you sat there, both sons and baby daughter, your lover of 14 years and future son-in-law in the kitchen you know the wish came true.

The innocent wish of a 6 year old boy for his future love to be a kind one.

The stars listened that night.

“He’s kind.” You say, soft and almost reverent.

“Huh?” The black haired young man tilts his head in confusion.

“Yuuji.” You nod your head toward the kitchen.

“You’re only realising this after 4 years of knowing him…?” Megumi raises an eyebrow.

The cogs seem to click into place in Satoru’s head as he looks at you - then toward the boy. He remembers too, he looks at you smiling before tossing his head back in a melodic laugh that’s soothed your aching body since you were 16.

“When you were 6, you came with ‘Miki into our room in the middle of the night after hearing me crying out from a nightmare. The nightmare was about the day your dad was - was stabbed.” You begin, watching as Megumi takes Mirai from Satoru’s arms and you’re immediately pulled into your husbands lap as Akio runs off to play in the playroom.

“Okay…?” Megumi asks, his little sister absentmindedly chewing on his fingers.

“I explained why losing someone I loved as much as I love your dad left deep scars on me, and Tsumiki began talking about what she wanted in a future lover. She said she wanted a king or a prince, someone who treated her how ‘Toru treats me.” The boy nods, remembering the night.

“Do you remember what you said, kid?” Satoru asks, absentmindedly tracing patterns into the flesh of your hips through your jeans.

Megumi furrows his brow in thought, deep consideration required for memories from so long ago.

Then it hits.

A small smile, barely noticeable graces his proud features as he looks at the table.

“Kind.” He whispers.

“Hey - sensei! Can cats have broccoli?” A pink head pokes out around the kitchen archway.

“You feeding that cat extra? No wonder he’s so damn fat.” Satoru exclaims. He had tried to get Yuuji to stop calling him Sensei many times - to no avail.

“Yeah, Yuuji - Grumpy George can have some broccoli.” You laugh out.

“Sensei! Don’t say that! He might hear you and broccoli is a vegetable, it’s one of his five a day!” Yuuji shouts back before you hear muttering of ‘here you go, sir - some broccoli - oh, very yummy, nom nom nom.’

The look is back on his face.

Megumi’s face.

That look.

You briefly wonder if his birth parents had something to do with sending their blessing an angel, and you’re so grateful if they did.

“Kind.” Megumi mutters, stronger this time - sure in his voice and proud of his boy.

pixie says: I loved this so much because when I wrote ‘Kind’ originally I wrote it specifically with Yuuji in mind when Megumi says he wants someone kind and when I said for Tsumiki she wanted a king - it was a nod to Yoruzu loving Sukuna. I cannot BELIEVE someone picked up on this and it’s made me beyond happy.

[nicromancytarot]

HOW I GOT STARTED IN TAROT AND MY TIPS FOR ANY OF YOU WHO ARE NEW TO IT!!!

I love to offer advice if you can’t already tell, and I also love tarot, so let’s talk about things that I have learnt from my journey as a tarot reader.

My journey

I started tarot at 14 years old while living with a family member who was shut off to the idea of spirituality, as it had hindered the life of my own mother, and caused her mental health issues in the past.

I decided to go against their requests and start practicing in secret, I didn’t have my own income so I wasn’t able to buy my own deck, instead I decided to make one. (Tarot is a tool, you don’t need “actual” tarot cards to be able to read.)

I used old train tickets that I had since I would take a couple of trains 5 days a week, which would give me 1, if not 2 tickets per day.

I was mainly focused on love, so I created little tarot cards with small details about love on them, and I would use these on my friends just for a bit of fun.

Eventually these got taken away from me, so just after my 16th birthday, after not doing tarot for around 3 months at that time, I decided to buy my first tarot deck as I was now living back with my mother, and although she was sceptical about the idea, she allowed me to have my first deck and supported my journey as I dove deeper into divination.

I practiced every so often, one time I had a crush on this guy and I wanted to know how he felt about me, every spread I got for him would give me the 4 of cups… yeah, I used to think that meant he was just a little demotivated, until I realised like a year later that it meant he was absolutely not interested in me, lmao!

But this is good, learning always comes with mistakes, so do not let that discourage you.

My decks

- the Rider-Waite tarot (my main deck)

- Spirit song tarot (my favourite deck)

- (I had a purple one that I spiritually didn’t need, so it went missing and never returned like a week after I got it)

- Ethereal visions tarot

- The nightmare before christmas tarot

- Angels of abundance oracle

- Casanova tarot (for 18+)

I also use little pieces of paper that I wrote 18+ stuff on, which I now use for any explicit readings to highlight the things someone would do to my collective sexually!

Having multiple decks

I personally love having this many decks, and I 100% will be getting more, as soon as I’ve finished learning the meanings of some of the casanova tarot!

Tarot is a tool, sometimes I read explicit stuff off my main deck, and I still get very accurate messages using that, you do not need to splash out on extra decks to try and read one specific theme.

I enjoy having multiple decks as they’re all just so beautiful, and I feel blessed to be able to have them.

Having one of my decks fall off the face of the earth a year and a half ago, proved to me that I needed to really make sure that I wanted a deck and felt connected to it before buying. This deck itself was 1 actually instinctively didn’t want to buy, but went back to get for other reasons.

So don’t impulsively buy, if it’s meant for you, you’ll know.

How I do my readings

If I decide that I need to cleanse my own energy, I will do a 15-30 minute meditation, but I normally only feel called to do so when I’m doing a really intense reading that I feel I need to protect my energy from.

I start off with a simple affirmation, welcome my spirits to help guide me through the session.

“I am calling upon my ancestors and spirit guides to make sure I am protected during this reading, and that I get the most accurate and concise messages.”

Then I knock on the deck twice before doing 1 shuffle thrice, knocking twice and doing the final shuffle thrice, knocking twice.

That is my own personal way of cleansing my deck after other energies have been channelled through it. I let my decks rest with some crystals every night, and they see the moon when it’s full for an extra cleanse.

I personally find the knocking to be very simple and cleansing for my cards, and it has proved well.

After I’m done cleaning, I ask my spirits the question out loud, and then I knock twice before shuffling to get the spread.

I only take 1-2 cards at a time, if there’s more, I put them back and start shuffling again.

If no cards fall after a while, I do a final shuffle and pull from the top.

The spread varies for every reading, normally I pull around 15 cards from my main deck, and then I pull an animal from the Spirit song tarot deck, and sometimes around 12 from another deck if there’s anymore questions needing to be answered.

When reading for other people, I personally only pull upright, unless we’re doing yes or no questions (which I do upright for yes and reverse for no), I’m not a fan for reverses, although I’ve started off with them, I just find it easier to do only uprights.

I pull reverses for educational purposes when I do my own readings, that way I can make sure I learn them more than I already do, and so I can get quicker with identifying them.

As of the beginning of April 2024 I started a new spread, this is my new favourite one for mainly advice readings or something to do with the future.

I like to grab 16 cards, you can take 15, but 16 is my personal number, then I line all the cards up into 3 groups, until I pin the negative cards, this is just something I do instinctively (doesn’t have to be death, tower etc, it could literally be the 2 of cups which seems negative in the reading), on the left I set up the negative ones, and then I add a present feeling or reaction card to do with these negative things, then between the negative and feelings, I put a card to describe why the person feels like that. Then for the rest I basically branch down like the roots of a tree, it’s very sporadic and random, but it creates a story, whichever card is next to another relates to the situation, thoughts and feelings of those cards, then when you get to the right bottom side, you end up with the future energy.

LEFT —> past MIDDLE —> present RIGHT —> future

Random things that I believe in

- The star and the 4 of cups are connected, the 4 of cups represents being fussy and ungrateful, and in the the Rider-Waite tarot, the illustrations are all connected, the star happens in front of the tree which is where the 4 of cups is set, so I like to think that the star is letting go of fussiness and allowing yourself to be free.

- Death and moon are connected, death tends to talk about something you need to let go of, and you already intuitively know about it. This is since death happens in front of the moon.

- The temperance happens in front of the tower, so when you pull the temperance, it means to make a decision before the universe makes it for you, bringing you a tower moment. A good example for this is pulling it in a “how does he feel about me” reading, if you get the tower during this, I would say he feels like you’re his last option, like a plan B if his A falls through. (People hate when I tell them that.)

- The queen of cups represents stability, this is since in the the Rider-Waite tarot, she’s chilling on her throne on a small island, meanwhile the king of cups is floating in the water, showing to me that he’s just going with the flow (weirdly, when I see the king of cups, I associate him with Aquarius energy.)

- The empress is all about loud and proud energy, she’s totally the one to boast about her achievements and what she’s working on, knowing that she will succeed. The emperor is the opposite, he works in silence, he only tells everyone about his newest achievements after he’s sure about them, he likes for people to be in surprise over his success.

- If I pull some cards to check energy for the reading, and the emperor upright, or the empress in reverse comes out, probably means the person I’m reading for isn’t ready to hear this message. This is because the emperor is physical (3D) realm energy, meanwhile the empress is spiritual (4D) energy, this is because spirituality is feminine energy, if you take part in spirituality, you are tapping into your devine feminine.

- The knight of wands represents exes. The night is going to the left (the past), the wand represents fire, fiery passion/fiery ending.

Does this mean my spread may be explained differently if the illustrations are different?

In short, yes. I love symbolism with my whole heart, so when I can make something symbolic out of the illustrations on the deck to describe a reading, I absolutely will.

What does channelling and visualising look like for me?

On a good day, I’ll hear another voice that sound identical to my little internal narrator inside my head, this can be identified as my spirit guides. They will use this to tell me things I need to know, but clairvoyance isn’t really my strongest, so normally I just hear the word “catapult” over and over again, since my main spirit guide seems to love that word.

I honestly channel the most through writing, it’s like I gain so much more information when I start writing down readings, whether it’s in my notes, on tumblr, or in a notepad.

Visualising is interesting, again back with the symbolism, it comes to me in a little story for me to unfold and find a moral of, it’s very time consuming, and I often get confused and think I’m insane, so I’ll pull some cards on it just to be sure I have the story right.

Important notes

- communicate to your spirit guides, I like to tell them exactly how the reading is going to go, just so they understand the format and what, I am looking for.

- Don’t do readings when you don’t feel like you should, if you’re mentally not doing ok, don’t feel bad if you need to step back and away from it, forcing yourself will just give you confusing readings.

- Your spirits hide answers from you, one time I asked my spirit guides how life works, and they refused to tell me (and then had a silly moment and told me like 3 months later for whatever reason.)

- This is not future telling, I cannot tell you what your future will be like, but I can tell you what it might be like if you make certain decisions.

- Don’t use tarot to intrude on someone’s personal life, like no sex readings on your ex for the love of God.

- If a reading doesn’t resonate with you, remember what it said and then come back to it to see if it does now, an example of this was when someone gave me a past life reading that didn’t match up until I reversed it and realised that I was the second person in the reading, rather than the main.

- Have fun with readings, it shouldn’t feel like a chore.

- Allow yourself to make mistakes, that’s the only way you will improve.

- Be patient, don’t think you will know everything about tarot after like 1 week of learning it.

- There’s always more to learn when it comes to tarot, you will never have enough knowledge.

- You can buy yourself decks, even your first one. You don’t need to have another person buy it for you.

I hope you enjoyed this! It took me an hour to write up lmao, but I had fun.

[diagnosedpsychosis]

Summertime Sadness

This was a request that I had no clue how to reply to with a post cause I'm not a tech genius in the slightest (still haven't even figured out how to screenshot on my laptop) :/

Description: As hard as you try, you can't seem to get yourself out of the ruck you've been in since seeing your best friend, Rafe, with yet another girl that wasn't you. So when you don't turn up to a party, Rafe ditches to be with you.

Word Count: 1.6k

Hope this alright @insomniacspsychosis and thank you so much for the request :)

________________________________________

It was normal for somebody to see another person doing nothing and classify them as lazy. You weren't lazy though, because whilst you laid in bed, heart beating at an all time low you wanted to get up, you wanted to have fun with the rest of your friends, but you just couldn't push yourself to do the things you wanted.

Something as simple as getting up to go to the toilet felt like a high demand task you didn't have the energy to complete, and so you'd spent all day holding in a 5 second bathroom trip purely cause leaving the comfort of your bed made you feel uneasy and unprotected from the world outside your bedroom.

You knew why you had fallen into the ruck you'd been in for the last 4 days now, you just didn't want to admit to yourself that it was because you saw your best friend locking lips with yet another girl.

Rafe Cameron, had been your comfort person for as long as you could remember. When you were sad you ran to him and he eagerly leant you his shoulder. When you were happy he was there to grin and bask in the warmth of your joy. When you were angry he was there to talk you down from an explosive episode. He had always been there, so of course you started developing feelings for him. He was the one person on earth that made you feel unconditionally happy and safe.

He was one of your very few soft spots, and you his only.

You cringed at the memory of him kissing a blonde by the pool of the massive Thornton house. Every time you were reminded he was the kook prince with a thousand begging conquests eager to get in his pants, you felt sick. He had his pick of the litter and every single time he never chose you. Sure, you'd never thrown yourself at him suggestively, and if anything ever did happen between you you didn't want it to happen in the same setting as all his other girls, but were you not pretty?

You didn't want to be just another conquest. Of course, you never thought of yourself to be any kind of prize worth winning, so the reality of not being another face he's made out with was anything but, yet still you were prone to wishful thinking.

You were always Rafe's side kick for a good portion of the nights when parties were thrown. You'd sit together, talk together, the closeness of your bodies and the intensity of your stares on each other acting as a repellent to everybody else, not daring to come between the two of you. But the second he'd get up, claiming he was 'only' going to get a drink, you knew he wasn't coming back anytime soon and if he did he'd have swollen lips.

You weren't going to put yourself through another night of wondering 'why not me?' Coming to the conclusion nothing would ever happen between you two had hurt, but if you wanted to get through it and over him you needed to avoid him and parties altogether for a little while. He was your best friend, but even best friends needed breaks from each other sometimes.

You saw his text 2 hours ago, asking if you were turning up to the party that was being held at his house, and you were still yet to reply. You weren't going to. Every other time you had tried to ignore him whilst 'attempting' to get over him the second a text would come through you'd reply before you even had the chance to think. Not this time. You were too old to be hung up on your best friend.

You stared at your lock screen, Rafe's name still on it as you refused to even simply open your phone. Groaning you tossed your phone to the side, away from you and out of reach even if you leant out of your bed to get it. You kept your dull lamp on before sinking back into your bed and pulling your covers up under your chin. You grabbed one of your discarded pillows already under your blanket, before pulling it into your chest and hugging it right up until the moment you fell asleep.

You hadn't even realised you'd dozed off until you stirred awake to the feel of someone pushing your hair out of your face. You exhaled through your nose, snuggling further into your pillows, freezing at the quiet laugh that ran through your room. Slowly opening a single eye, you were surprised to find Rafe crouched beside your bed in front of you, a small smile on his face.

"Hey" he whispered, pushing your hair back out of your face when you moved and it fell over your forehead. You frowned, opening your other eye before looking around the room, wondering what time it was.

"What are you doing here? How'd you get in?" You've barely left the four walls that connect to make your room in days, let alone gotten up to unlock the windows, so there was no way he'd come through that way.

"Your Mum let me in, thought I might be able to make you feel better" Rafe mumbled back making you sigh. You shook your head as you pushed yourself up and back against your head board, alert and looking down at Rafe.

"I feel fine. I'm just tired" You shut him down, for the first time in ever, wanting him to turn around and leave your room. Rafe hummed, nodding but not believing you as he stood up before sitting down on the edge of your bed, beside your leg that he patted twice.

"Mm, too tired to message me back in 4 days?" You didn't answer, just stared tiredly at Rafe. You weren't sleep deprived, but emotionally drained. Rafe's smile slowly fell from his face realising you weren't just simply feeling weird. Something was going on and he worried it had everything to do with him.

"Why are you here, Rafe?" You whispered.

"I missed you. You've been ignoring me the last couple days, and then you didn't turn up to the party at mine... you're pulling away from me" Rafe's voice despite being soft, sounded vulnerable. The thought of you putting space between the two of you made him incredibly anxious, wanting nothing more than to be around you 24/7, 365 days a year.

"I'm not pulling away from you-"

"You are, y/n/n" Rafe cut you off. You opened your mouth, not knowing what to say. Rafe softly smiled, wanting you only to feel comfortable around him even when these less than comfortable conversations were being had.

"And that's okay if you need a little bit of space. I don't want to be away from you, but if you need some you time I'll give you all the time in the world" You hated the aching feeling in your chest, and how guilty you felt at your actions.

He knew you were ignoring him, he wasn't dumb, but he didn't know why because you didn't have the balls to tell him. So instead of him understanding you were staying away until you had a grip on your feelings, he thought you just didn't want to be friends anymore.

"You didn't have to leave your party to say that to me" You told him, Rafe patting your knee as his eyes darted between yours.

"Not really much of a party if you're not there" Your eyes instinctively fell to his lips and you couldn't help but suck in a breath. They weren't red, or swollen.

"Your Dad's gonna be mad if something gets broken and you weren't there to supervise" You let him know. Rafe shrugged.

"Not the end of the world, certainly feels like it though when you stare at me like that. Flash me those pearly whites, woman" Rafe leant forward, pinching one of your cheeks. No matter how big or small Rafe's gestures were, he always had the ability to make you smile at times when it felt like the last thing you were capable of, even now.

Rafe's mouth spread into a massive grin, his eyes focused solely on your lips as you smiled up at him, purposely being overdramatic and stretching your mouth as wide as possible.

"There's that damn smile I love so much. I'll never understand why you don't smile like that in pictures" You were thankful for your shitty dull lamp hiding your flushed cheeks at Rafe's compliment.

"I hate having photo's taken of me" You groaned, Rafe shaking his head as he rested his hand on your covered leg.

"Which seems ridiculous to me when you're as gorgeous as you are" Your cheeks are burning unbelievably hot as you look down at your lap.

"You're just trying to make me feel better" You mumble, listening to Rafe's 'Ahhh' as he pokes your arm.

"Feel better? So...something was wrong then" Rafe grins, earning a shove to the shoulder from you as you cross your arms over your chest and sink into yourself. Rafe chuckles, pulling your arms back apart, his hand gripping yours falling into your lap but not parting.

"I'm kidding, but really y/n, I wish you'd have a little bit more confidence. Maybe you'd finally notice how people look at you" You rolled your eyes.

"And how do people look at me, Rafe?" You asked jokingly, watching something flash across Rafe's face as his gaze softened unbelievably so on you. So much for putting a little distance between the two of you.

"Like you hung the moon" He answered quietly, watching you scoff in disbelief.

"And how would you know that?" You questioned, smile slowly fading the longer your question went unanswered. Rafe couldn't look away from you, his throat tight and chest heavy as the feelings he's harboured for you crept out.

"Cause it's how I look at you."

[help-help-i-need-an-adult]

“Geralt, darling…”

“Hmmm”

“I noticed your communication skills have greatly improved over the last few months. You use your words instead of just grunting far more these days. I’m very proud of you.”

“Thank you, Jaskier.”

“As such, I was thinking that perhaps it is time for another lesson in verbal communication.”

“Is that so.”

“Yes! It is so! Now, I realize this is a lesson usually given to performers, such as myself, but I think it is one you could greatly benefit from.”

Geralt sighs. Knowing that Jaskier will simply continue to pester him if he doesn’t agree, Geralt says, “If you think I would benefit from the lesson, I’ll to do my best to learn.”

Before, he would have told the bard to fuck off, but ever since the mountain, Geralt had been trying to put in an effort to do better. Doing better meant communicating better. The need for that had only increased when, a year ago, Geralt had finally gotten up the courage to kiss Jaskier and their relationship had been forever changed. In a good way. The kind of good way Geralt didn’t want to lose ever again.

“Excellent! In that case I see no reason not to start that lesson now.”

Geralt did. They were walking the path and Geralt was walking beside Jaskier; guiding Roach by her reigns. Ciri was away, somewhere safe with Yennifer and learning to control her magic, but that didn’t mean there weren’t still threats. He had to remain vigilant in case of an attack or a monster, and trying to focus on what Jaskier was saying would be distracting.

But, on the other hand, they were on a section of road surrounded by fields. For miles, there would be very few places for bandits or any monster too deadly to hide. Geralt would almost certainly see them long before they became a threat. So, he agreed.

“Alright. I’m listening.”

“Ok. So there are 5 organs of communication.” Geralt watched from the corner of his eye as Jaskier counted them off on his fingers.

The head

The heart

The gut

The groin

The arms

“You’re very good with the 1st and the 5th organs. The head refers to things you state. They are a matter of fact. No ifs ands or buts about them. You’ve proven to excel at this in the past several months. And the arms refer to non-verbal communication that is instead conveyed through action. Again. You excel at this.”

To prove his point, and to be an ass, Geralt raises an eyebrow at him and smirks while spreading the arm that is currently not busy guiding Roach.

Jaskier laughs and gently smacks the arm now extended towards him. “Yes. Exactly. However, you are lacking in the other three departments.”

Lowering his arm, Geralt asks, “so how do I go about fixing that? I’m not even sure I completely understand how the first 4 work. I’m communicating with my mouth and voice. Is that what you mean by head? And if that’s the case, I would have thought I was doing just fine with groin.”

Jaskier swats his arm again.

“Yes and no. In that regard, what you’re doing with your groin falls under arms.”

“Hmm.”

“Let me give you examples.”

Jaskier seems to take a moment to think.

“If I was going to tell you ‘I want you to come here’ there are 5 different ways I could go about that.”

“The 5th being arms. I could simply make eye contact with you. Point at you and then the ground. You would understand what that meant, yes?”

“Yes, Geralt exactly. The 1st one being head where I simply say to you ‘I want you to come here.’ And you would understand it to be a simple request.”

“Hmm.”

“But, if I were to make the same statement using my heart,” Jaskier’s eyes got bigger and his posture less ridged. When he continued, his voice was soft and breathy like when they’re lying together at night and just talking, “I want you to come here.”

Oh. Geralt had always been aware of how Jaskier would talk when it was just the two of them. How it would feel different, like now.

He’s tried to do that before, but it had never quite had the same effect. Like it was just… incorrect “I’ve tried that”, he tells Jaskier, “but it just doesn’t work right.”

“You mean when you look at me very intensely and get quieter?”

“Yes.”

“Well… that is part of it. But this isn’t about volume, or what your eyes are doing. It’s about what feeling you’re letting yourself have as you say it.”

Hmmm. That made sense. Even now, when letting his thoughts be known, Geralt struggled with the emotions part.

“So what’s gut?”

“But you haven’t tried heart yet!”

Geralt leveled a look at Jaskier that made it clear he needed to move on for now.

“Oh, all right. The 3rd is statements made in reaction. There isn’t much thought to them, like a gut reaction or when you have to make a decision in the moment.” Jaskier’s voice got louder and more rushed, “I want you to come here!”

Geralt moved closer to Jaskier on instinct. The almost fear in his voice had him going before he could remember this was an example.

“Ah. I think I understand this one. It’s fear.”

“Well,” Jaskier drawled, “it can be. It can also be excitement, or anger, or any other number of emotions. Much like heart can be hurt or longing and not just love. It’s just reactionary. Truth to the heads fact.”

This was getting confusing. How could it be fear but also other things? Geralt decided he’d need time to think about this and it was probably better to keep going. “So what is groin?”

“Ah,” Jaskier’s demeanor changed once again. It was one Geralt was very familiar with, he’d watched Jaskier adapt it with men and women all over the continent for decades. He’s been on the receiving end of it as of late and had grown fond of the change in Jaskier’s stance, the sway of his hips, the light in his eyes. He’d even seen Jaskier adopt it with a particularly good meal when they’d been getting by on what Geralt could hunt for too long.

When Jaskier spoke, it was low and gravely, and sent a shiver down Geralt’s spine. “I want you to come here.”

“Desire. And not just lust.”

Jaskier’s stance and voice changed once again, the change almost jarring, “Yes! Exactly. The wanting something so badly you can feel it.”

“Hmm. That one makes more sense.”

“Yes, you aren’t terrible at groin, but you tend to only use it when you’re horny and I insist you use your words. You could be using it for so many other things. And don’t give me the you want nothing speech again. I know that’s bullshit.”

“I wasn’t going to.”

“Good!”

“I’m going to need some time to think on all of this, but in the meantime,” Geralt wrapped his free arm around Jaskier’s waist and gently pulled him into his side. Then, putting as much groin into his voice as he could, “telling me you want me got me hard. There’s no one around for miles.”

Geralt enjoyed watching a blush creep up Jaskier’s neck and hearing his heart speed up.

“Not going to say ‘no’ to that, dear witcher.”

Thanks @0dde11eth for telling me to write this

[gregorygerwitz]

Crochet Commissions!

For those who don't know me, I'm Alex (she/they), and I started the year off with Covid. Because I had to take two weeks off work, I'm really hurting for money right now, so I'm opening up a limited number of slots for crochet commissions to try to fill in that financial gap.

ALL of the materials I use are machine washer/dryer safe

Pictures of my recent work and prices are below. Including: stuffed animals, dice bags, holiday stockings, blankets. As well as: shipping info, custom request info.

For further questions or to request a commission: message me here or email me at crochetbyalex@outlook.com

When I did my poll, most people voted for stuffed animals, and I recently finished a few that I can show my skills with. The blue penguin is my latest finished piece, with the purple penguin the first thing I ever crocheted side-by-side for comparison of how much I've learned in the last ~7 months. The mouse is technically unfinished because the eyes aren't embroidered yet, but I made it in about a day and a half, for timeline purposes.

I also just finished the above dice bag octopus about an hour ago for my roommate, which took about three hours of non-stop work (I turned on a movie and got through the stitches pretty quick). I can make them in any color you want, with either the plastic safety eyes or embroidered eyes. Most of these can be entirely customizable, just let me know what you're thinking and I'll see what I can do!

Dice bags: $10 + $5 domestic (US) shipping Stuffed animals: $15 + $5 domestic (US) shipping optional crinkle filling (washer/dryer safe): + $2 (stuffed animals only)

10 slots total (4 REMAINING)

I don't have any pictures of any of the hats or scarves I've made because it's been a few years, but I made some stockings for the apartment for Christmas last month, and that's one of my most recent projects. The green one was the last one I made, and probably the most accurate to what my capabilities are now.

If you'd like a stocking for Christmas 2024, let me know! I have an unlimited number of slots for them as the holiday is far enough away that the time crunch isn't so rough.

Hats: $20 + $5 domestic (US) shipping Scarves: $30 + $5 domestic (US) shipping Holiday stocking: $24 + $5 domestic (US) shipping

5 total wearable (hats/scarves) slots

The least popular item in my poll was the blankets, which I understand. And I'm only going to open one slot for them at a time because they take so long and so much yarn to make. The wave pattern (both blankets pictured above) is my favorite to do, but I have patterns for most simple designs, or I can likely easily google it and put it together for you. Prices are based on the time and materials these take to make, but because they're so much more expensive than the smaller items above, domestic (US) shipping is free.

Baby blanket (top left): $50 Throw blanket/afghan: $100 Full size (length shown in bottom picture): $200

1 blanket slot (0 REMAINING)

Custom requests:

If there's a pattern you've found on Etsy/Pinterest/etc that you want made, contact me by using the contact information above. We can discuss prices or my ability to accomplish that for you. ***patterns must be CROCHET patterns as I do not knit (yet)*** 5 custom slots total

International shipping:

Let me know when you request a commission where you are located, as shipping prices vary wildly from country to country. I'll go over the actual cost with you before you commit to the commission and make sure the price works for both of us.

Current open slots:

Stuffed animals and dice bags: 1. [FILLED] 2. [FILLED] 3. [FILLED] 4. [FILLED] 5. [FILLED] 6. [FILLED] 7. [OPEN] 8. [OPEN] 9. [OPEN] 10. [OPEN]

Wearables: 1. [OPEN] 2. [OPEN] 3. [OPEN] 4. [OPEN] 5. [OPEN]

Stockings: [NO LIMIT]

Blankets: 1. [FILLED]

Custom requests: 1. [OPEN] 2. [OPEN] 3. [OPEN] 4. [OPEN] 5. [OPEN]

[homulilythemagicalgirl]

Introduction and navigation post!

Hello, everyone! A while ago, someone told me it would be helpful to create a navigation post, and seeing the other magi blogs, I realize I have not made a proper introduction yet! My name is Homulily, but people have called me Homu, Lily or Homura too. I'm fine with any nickname. My pronouns are it/lun/star/they. I am 16 years old, so please do not do anything inappropriate with my posts. About me as a magi, I have lots of first-hand magical experience, just a different kind from a magical girl. I train with a sword, and sometimes I astral project. I use tarot cards to talk to whoever answers and a pendulum to talk to Kyubey. I have contracted on 7/17/24, so I have only been a magi for a little bit. I'm a newbie, so I might not always get things right, but I'd love to learn!

Navigation

Real life magi stuff: I contracted. My first witch. Every journal entry in order: Day 1. Day 2. Day 3. Day 4. Day 5. Day 6. Day 7. Day 8. Day 9. Day 10. Day 11. Day 12. Day 13. Day 14. Day 15. Day 16. Day 17. Day 18. Day 19. Day 20. Day 21. Day 22. Day 23. Day 24. Day 25. Day 26. Day 27. Day 28. Day 29. Day 30. Day 31. Day 32. Day 33. Day 34. Day 35. Day 36. Day 37.

Everything I know about series: Requests for and submissions of information are still available. E.I.K.A Magis. E.I.K.A Kyubey. E.I.K.A Soul gems. E.I.K.A Grief seeds. E.I.K.A The astral realm. Every artistic thing (drawings, outfits, etc): Crocheted blanket scarf. Sayaka Miki drawing (spoilers!). Ghostly outfit. Drawing of me with a magical girl outfit. Homura Akemi cosplay. A simple reference of me as a magical girl. WIP of transformation animation. Every question and answer: What PMMM character am I like? Wording and karmic destiny. How could a wish backfire? Am I shifting realities? 2. Am I a D.I.D. system? How do you become a magical girl? 2. Why do I want to be a magi? Will I be a magi in the physical or astral realm? What was my wish? How to astral project and lucid dream? Other updates: My combat style. Astral projection. 2. 3. 4. Lucid dreaming. Trying to contract. 2.

[killingsboys]

omfg my friend was recently hit with a stranger asking her out! I saw it happen in real time:

IG notification of a DM, she asked if I remember who James was I said no.

She opened his message, it was a very simple "hey how ya been it's been years since HS, i just wanted to say hi and see how ya been" (my friend is also very pretty so this is normal to her tbh, I've told her it doesn't happen to me nearly as much as she seems to think it happens to everyone!)

anyway she replied with "great, thanks! good to hear from ya, hbu?"

in the span of the next 20 minutes while we talked over our appetizer and didn't notice/reply immediately, he sent her several messages about as long as this ask now describing his:

1 - crypto and investments

2 - therapy (which good for him ngl)

3 - apartment hunting in a city 4 states over where he's lived since HS

4 - how he had a crush on her in HS

5 - how he's sad to think they never talked

6 - if they can meet up when he's in town next

7 - how did she see him in HS? Did she have a crush on him too?

8 - he's really interested in investing and finding a good traditional wife and having kids soon

We noticed about an hour later and she wasn't sure how to respond but he apparently replied again this morning with a "good morning, did you forget about me?"

I told her to block him like wtf?????

ohhhhhhhh my god what the hell.... the face i made when i got to #8 on that list. bad. bad all around. i sincerely hope she blocked him because what the HELL......

this guy added me on facebook last week i think? and i usually don't accept friend requests from people i don't know, especially men, but i was like oh i think this is the guy who moved in across the street from me a few months ago, and i think it's good to be able to contact your neighbors if you need to! so i accepted the friend request just assuming that was that. mistake number one.

this guy messaged me at like 11pm on saturday (red flag) and i was like oh maybe he has something neighborly to say like maybe his dog got loose or something idk. mistake number two. he tells me he's seen me across the street from his uncle's house and he thinks i'm cute. i hit him with the standard "haha thanks!" that i think is the universal agreed-upon nice way of saying "i'm not interested." mistake number three!

he messages me yesterday asking how my day was. i'm like "oh it was good how was yours?" because i don't know how not to be polite to people. mistake number four! he messages me at 7am on a MONDAY asking if i want to get dinner. we have not even had a conversation! he doesn't know a single thing about me! i am just some chick that he has seen outside with her dogs or reading on her porch! i don't know anything about him either! i didn't even realize he wasn't my neighbor until this weekend!

and now i'm annoyed because i have been tricked into caring about some random man's feelings 🙄 i'm like oh i don't want to reject him first thing on a monday morning that feels so mean...... meanwhile if HE didn't want to start off his week with a rejection maybe he shouldn't ask out a complete stranger at 7am on a monday? just an idea? honestly he's probably perfect nice but he went about this all the wrong way and also i am just not interested in general..... sigh it's just a mess 💔 anyway i hope your friend blocked that weirdo. opening with CRYPTO of all things...... red flag city!

[aena-blue]

Manifestation - Everyone Is You Pushed Out (EIYPO) - The World Is Your Mirror

Hello everyone! This is another short post to cover a simple topic under the umbrella term manifestation to hopefully shed some light on the topic.

So if you are new to this concept, EIYPO, let me try to explain it to you. The world, the 3d world that you see and perceive is a reflection of your inner being, your thoughts, feelings and assumptions. Whatever you believe to be true and real, gets reflected back to you in your day to day life and interactions with other people.

If someone is acting a certain way toward you, it is easy to see that as evidence as that is how that person feels about you. Say for example a person is rude to you. You probably make the assumption that that person does not like you, which, to be fair, is quite understandable. Because you hold the belief that a person would only be rude to you if they dislike you, then that means that person must not like you.

Could we change that? Well, yes we can! All we have to do is change our assumption of the way this person treats you, and the way they feel about you.

So we will accept that this person is still capable of liking us or loving us, and now, we will choose to start seeing them in a more loving light. In your imagination, you want to see that person treating you well. You can use visualisations, scripting or my favourite: affirmations. Persist in this new assumption “person x is always treating me right” and it will come to pass. Not only are you always treated like royalty (for example) but it is also important to stop seeing that other person as someone who is ‘rude’ for example. That’s the old story, and we won’t be telling it anymore. The person on our mind is now always nice (at least to us) and always treating us right.

So I have several examples of how this has worked in my own life using affirmations. Now I have a list of affirmations that I have recorded which are tailored towards my specific person (SP), but because EVERYONE is you pushed out, I have seen my affirmations reflected back to me from other men as well.

Here’s a few examples including the affirmation:  1. “Our sex is the best that he has ever had” - A guy I slept with twice last year suddenly re-appeared and after texting for a bit, he told me I was the best sex he has ever had. Well, of course, I affirmed to be the best. Now of course I affirmed for my SP to think this, but, if random guy said it, then you best believe SP feels the same!

2. “He is the happiest when he is with me” - Surprisingly enough, same random guy from example 1 told me this exact thing just a couple of weeks ago, that he’s the happiest when he’s with me. Naw, sweet, but also, not my SP! (Don’t let stuff like that concern you though, this is what they call Birds Before Land, a post I will need to make at some point)

3. “I am the best” - When talking to my SP I asked him why he came back after we (he) ended things, his response? “Because you’re the best” 

4. “I am amazing” - During the same conversation as example 3, my SP said to me “I wish you knew how amazing you are”, and I kid you not, this was the first time my SP had ever called me amazing (he’s not big on compliments)

5. “SP always pays for my drinks” - I know this one might seem shallow (and cheap of me!) but hey, SP makes big bucks and I deserve to be treated when we’re out, so why not? And yeah, a few weeks of affirming this and my SP now always pays for the drinks when we are out.

The list goes on but I hope I have demonstrated my point. Change your assumptions about your reality, how people see you, how people treat you, persist, and they will change. They have to, it’s the law.

I hope that this post was helpful. I’d love to hear any examples you guys might have on this topic, also open for questions or requests for a post!

I now offer email coaching on my Etsy Shop for anyone who needs help, assistance, guidance or just a cheerleader for their manifestation journey.

You can email me or use the “ask me” function for anything that might be on your mind, or on your heart. I am here for you all, always. Please note that the Ask Me’s are only open for dream interpretation, general questions or advice at this time.

Please consider supporting my intention & affirmation art business in return for my time and energy by making a purchase or sharing my shop on any of your social media, every page click helps my business grow and I appreciate all of your support.

You can get a sticker for about $2 and if you make a purchase and send me an email to let me know what you bought I will happily give you a free 3 card reading for a question of your choice or 1 free email for manifestation coaching, regardless of the cost of your purchase! 🧡

If you'd like to donate to my channel/blog I gratefully receive energy donations via Paypal, every little helps! 🧡

For anyone that feels so inclined I do have an Etsy Shop for readings.

Much love and light to you all and to the universe 💛💜

~ Lady Blue 💙

[duckymcdoorknob]

hey not to be a bitch or anything but I sent u an emergency ask like 2 weeks ago and I wanted to know the order you wrote things in bc I’ve seen other stuff being written that was requested after I did

Hey good evening my buddy chum pal friend home-slice bread slice.

Thanks for the backhanded ask lmfao??

With emergency requests, they’re without a doubt all about heavy/dark content.

As someone with a smorgasbord of mental disorders, I do not have the mindset to be writing about s**cide, EDs, D***ession and other topics on a day to day basis.

The order of the content I write is hand selected by a number of criteria.

1) how long ago was this submitted?

2) is this an event post?

3) is this something I personally deal with?

4) do I really enjoy/want to write this prompt?

5) am I currently obsessed with this character?

6) how many characters are being asked for?

So more than likely, your request didn’t pique my interest/sense of urgency enough for me to write it.

It’s plain and simple. Sorry for hurting your feelings or whatever.

Moreover, you don’t really have a way of knowing when shit was requested because you don’t get a timestamp, thank you very much.

I am but one college student with over fifty requests in her inbox, and 15 drafts. Give me a break, yeah?

If you would be so kind to tell me which request was yours, that would be great.

[hangmanbrainrot]

I posted 939 times in 2022

That's 939 more posts than 2021!

71 posts created (8%)

868 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@rooster-84

@babyrooster

@bradshawsbitch

@forsty

@top-hhun

I tagged 619 of my posts in 2022

Only 34% of my posts had no tags

#glen powell - 102 posts

#jake seresin x reader - 85 posts

#miles teller - 51 posts

#fic rec - 46 posts

#jake seresin - 40 posts

#answered - 37 posts

#bradley bradshaw x reader - 33 posts

#comment reblog - 31 posts

#shut up sierra - 31 posts

#bradley bradshaw - 29 posts

Longest Tag: 127 characters

#i'm trying to model a character's father after him but i wasn't old enough at the time to remember the early days of his career

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Hi! I wanted to request for a hangman fic based on that Tiktok where the girl texts her bf asking where he is because somebody just sent her pics of him getting into some girl’s car and after a little banter, he asks for the pic and it’s a picture of a cockroach getting into a toy car 🤣

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CiYL43Dv719/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

This was fun! I got none of the other writing done tonight that I wanted to! But I did this and it made me laugh so that's cool!

harmless fun

jake seresin x reader; 395 words; no warnings; written on mobile so be kind to me, pls. ❤

Truth be told, you knew you were needlessly testing the bounds of your boyfriend's love, all for a tiktok. But it would be fun... right?

I can't believe you would do this to me, Jake.

Babe I told you I'd be home when the game is over. Not ditching you

Not that. You know what you did.

What did I do???

You set your phone down, mostly because the fit of giggles you'd devolved into made it harder and harder to hold it and sit upright. You wondered for a moment how long you'd be able to sustain the joke, but thought it best to enjoy the moment. Jake Seresin was many things, but foremost he was actually a great and loyal partner — which only made this whole ordeal funnier. He was an attractive man, and he knew it, so that sometimes was... misread by strangers. Hell, it had taken 3 progressively more dramatic attempts for him to get your attention — and keep it long enough to ask you out on a date. And now look at you: all starry-eyed and wearing the man's old t-shirt while you did dishes in what was technically his house. You'd just moved in a good awhile ago.

And then you realized, in your efforts to be a good housemate and not leave your dirty dishes in the sink for your partner to come home to, you'd totally left him hanging in the middle of a joke that wouldn't seem like a joke if you forgot the punchline.

Hello??

Babe?

Missed call Jake

Can you at least tell me what I did

Missed FaceTime call Jake

Please

Fine!

He'd left you the perfect opening to claim you were waiting it out, but he'd replied in seconds anyway. Just a simple ok. You knew he was growing anxious, and you'd need to wrap this up soon. Poor guy. You could practically see his knee bouncing.

One of my friends just sent me a picture of you getting into a car with another girl!

???

I'm literally sitting here watching the game with Javy. Last I checked, he's not a girl

And then: Send me the picture. Let me see. Please

You were giggling again by the time you hit send on the picture you'd stolen from a quick Google search. Seconds later, your boyfriend replied:

I'm on my way home.

And you just knew he was already planning his revenge.

215 notes - Posted December 1, 2022

#4

idle time

a/n: this was supposed to be short, but here we are. thank you @luminousnotmatter​ for the sweet request!! <;3 warnings: 18+ for blink and you’ll miss it innuendo, anxiety mention, angst, a bit of fluff, a bit of slice of life / domesticity  word count: 965 summary: Bradley has a problem with down time, and you’re determined to help him relax. pairing: bradley bradshaw x f!reader

A rare rainstorm had rolled through Southern California, and the smell of it had settled into the air around the small home you shared with Bradley. You inhaled contentedly in front of the open window in your kitchen, and allowed a smile to ease onto your features. This ‘between deployment’ time was your favorite. The sight of your softly snoring husband curled up beside you, always touching you in some way even while he slept, never failed to soften your heart. It had taken a few weeks at home for his nightmares to lessen, but you knew as soon as he had healed his heart against what he'd put it through, it would be time to reopen those old wounds once more. Maybe less so now, as a TOPGUN instructor, but you weren't convinced he wouldn't find reason to get back in the air on a more regular basis. Still, there was no one else you’d rather help put back together, if it came down to it.

Today, though, today was quiet. After he’d coaxed you out of bed early with a stack of his famous blueberry pancakes, your husband had busied himself with running errands. You knew that he hated idle time and what it did to him, so you let him run himself almost ragged on his days at home, as much as he let you waste away on yours. No matter what Bradley got up to on any given day, he always found time to unwind with you. What was better than that?

You’d finally got the kitchen back into its usual clean state after this morning’s breakfast resulted in more than pancakes being on offer. The rhythmic hum of the dishwasher caused a slight smile to ease onto your features as you wandered toward where your Switch was docked in your living room, then cradling your favorite silly hobby in your palms as you headed outside to where your porch swing sat currently unused. Bradley had installed it not long after you moved in for your ‘future kids.’ The mention made you blush. But right now, it was all yours.

Eyes barely open, you were in the middle of contemplating a nap when you heard the tell-tale sound of Bradley closing the door to his Bronco. You weren’t sure how long you’d been curled up there on the porch swing; the allure of Disney Dreamlight Valley was never one you could resist. You called out a ‘back here!’ and realized you were shouting — the rain had gotten heavier. Idly, you wondered if that was what had your husband returning home. Though, when he rounded the corner of your home and came into view, you could instantly see the scowl of a bad mood planted firmly on his face. You sat up, placing your Switch on the small side table at your left. He didn’t say anything, just wordlessly, sullenly, planted himself beside you. You inhaled a breath to ask what was up, but he shook his head. A beat passed. Then another, and then another. It took another full moment before you raised your hands, palms smoothing over his back, the planes of hard muscle tense beneath his wet t-shirt. You applied a bit more pressure as you continued, and felt his posture lose its rigidity, slowly but surely. Then, you slid your arms around his shoulders, and rested your cheek against his shoulder blade.

Still, you didn’t pry. 

Instead, you gently pulled your husband to lay back with you, then coaxed him into laying his head against your chest. The man was 6’2,” and completely enamored with being held, cradled by you, just like this. As your fingers carded through his curls, you began to hum a faint melody. You were halfway through the song when he began to speak.

“The pantry and the fridge are fully stocked.”

“Okay,” you said slowly.

“And there’s nothing wrong with the Bronco.”

“That’s great, babe.”

“I worked out this morning.”

“Yes, I saw you leave.” 

“And I still have so much…”

“Time?” you finally dared to insert an opinion of your own. Never wanting to overstep, but rather provide space for your partner to open up as he wanted — like a flower, opening and closing of its own accord. You only ever wanted to tend to him, never smother.

But then, he affirmed your suspicion with a soft, huffed: “Yes.”

“Bradley,” you said quietly, “you are allowed to relax, you do know that, right?”

“No, I know—”

“See, I don’t think you do.” He grunted in protest, though he quieted as your fingers massaged into his scalp once more. “I know you hate idle time, and the anxiety that settles into you when you feel like you have nothing to do, but I promise you it’s okay.” 

“You’re safe, baby,” you continued, leaning down to press kisses into the soft bed of curls at the top of his head. His arms came up and around you as much as they could on your small porch swing, then tightened. “I love you.”

“I love you.” He wasn’t parroting the words back. Even without looking at your husband, you could tell he was sincere; he meant it with every solid, square inch of him. This beautiful anxiety-ridden man loved you with all he had. And you loved him all the same. 

One of your hands left its post in his hair and drifted toward his back, where your palm once again moved in slow circles. He didn’t say anything more, and neither did you. Even as the sky began to darken and the rain teetered off to a sprinkle. 

Bradley exhaled out a little sigh, and you thought he was preparing to speak again, but instead, you were comforted by the sound of his soft snores. 

277 notes - Posted November 18, 2022

#3

me: aw he's just a sweet lil guy the guy in question:

287 notes - Posted December 2, 2022

#2

more than this

a/n: HI. Me again! After talking with @rosiahills22, I simply HAD to give this idea a whirl. I hope y’all enjoy! Reader’s callsign is Van Gogh (to be explained) and I don’t use Y/N. :) special thanks to @bradshawsbitch​ for the encouragement. :’)

warnings: so much mutual pining, dash of angst toward the end. Generally, all my posts are 18+ because I don’t want minors interacting with my page! Probably naval inaccuracies.

word count: 3975

summary: You and Jake have been best friends for years now… Why mess with a good thing?

pairing: Jake Seresin x Reader, Jake Seresin x Aviator!Reader — callsign: Van Gogh

See the full post

1,236 notes - Posted November 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

worth it 

a/n: yet again this was supposed to be short but sierra cannot shut up!! <3 thanks anon for this sweet request! i’ll get back to work on my 7 wips now. 🫣 warnings: 18+ for mild coarse language and some shameless thirsting. domestic!hangman is my fave. just super fluffy. word count: 1275 summary: Jake is far more attentive than you previously gave him credit for, but it sparks a big revelation.  pairing: jake seresin x reader

It was rare to come home and not see your boyfriend already there, watching whatever film he was obsessed with this week, especially when he was on leave. You’d never complain, though it was comical to see him in your space. His muscular frame made your furniture look like it belonged in a dollhouse, sometimes. So, today, you were a little sullen to come home and not find him stretched out on your gray sofa, one arm curled behind his head — putting that delicious bicep on display — and one leg hanging off the arm of the couch. 

Though before you could allow your mild and unreasonable disappointment to settle in, your phone rang, your favorite coworker's name flashing across the screen. 

“Hey, you know I'm not currently being paid to talk to you right now, right?” The teasing lilt to your voice was unmistakable. 

“She quit!” Your coworker barked in response, before you could get another word in edgewise.

“What do you mean she quit?”

You put the phone on speaker, then set it down onto your kitchen counter, while you headed toward the fridge to retrieve a bottle of water. 

“She marched into the office, handed over an envelope, then walked back to her desk. She’d already packed everything up, so she just grabbed a box and rolled.”

“What?” Your voice had jumped an octave. You stilled, standing at your kitchen island with your hands against the countertop. 

It was at just that moment, your front door opened, and Jake appeared in the doorway, arms full of grocery bags. You waved, then held a finger to your lips and pointed to your phone. He nodded and mouthed an ‘okay’ as he came nearer. Then, your coworker launched into the story, as well as her theories surrounding the resignation of the third assistant editor at the magazine you worked for. You let her go on, muttering a comment or two of your own when you could, for so long that Jake had replaced your bottle of water with a glass of wine. It had taken you a moment to recognize that it was your favorite brand, but last you checked, you’d ran out last week and had forgotten about buying a new bottle. You were definitely listening to your coworker, but your eyes followed Jake around the kitchen, while he busied himself with getting a start on dinner. 

At the next lull in the conversation, you cut in, “Darlin’, I gotta go. Jake’s here.” This earned you a particularly salacious sounding oooh. “Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow. Make sure you’re bright and early, so we can have front row seats to the mess.” 

When you hung up the phone, you inhaled to speak, but Jake beat you to it, still facing the stove. 

“That bitch Debbie strikes again. I’m telling you, somebody needs to put her in her place. I think it should be you, by the way, I’m just saying.”

Blinking slowly, you wordlessly stared at your boyfriend’s back. Your silence prompted him to turn around, fingers still curled around the handle of the pot he was currently sauteing asparagus in. “What?” He glanced down at himself, then a knowing look crossed his features. With a free hand he gestured toward his body, and the black hoodie he currently wore. “I know, I stole the Navy hoodie back, but it’s really comfortable. I promise I will wash it and return it to your closet where it belongs.”

“Not that, you doofus,” you snorted, closing the small space between you to hop up on the counter beside where he was cooking. You practically had stars in your eyes. “You remembered my boss’ name?”

A look of bewilderment creased your boyfriend’s brows as his gaze settled on you. “Obviously?”

And there you were again, blinking like a fuckin’ owl because what was your life right now? Your perfect boyfriend with his perfect, gorgeous smile, in your tiny kitchen, cooking you dinner and remembering the small details of your life. And, sure, the bar was in hell, but to say your past partners were less than ideal was an incredibly generous statement. 

“I can’t believe you remembered that,” you finally admitted, tone noncommittal. 

“What do you mean?” He seemed genuinely confused.

“I mean, I haven’t always received that level of effort before.”

His lips slipped into a frown for a moment, just long enough for you to catch it. “It’s you,” he said softly. “You’re worth it. You’re worth every level of effort. Every level? Any amount? However you say that properly. You’re worth it.” He paused then to point an accusatory finger in your direction. “Don’t make fun of me, English Major.”

He shot you a grin, but the tips of his ears were bright red — a telltale sign of embarrassment. Jake hated when he rambled on, but you loved it. Especially when he wasn’t cognizant of his accent, and it poured out over his words like molasses.

“So, anyway,” he continued, now returning his full attention to the stove. “Enough about Deb. Hate her. How’s Kelly and the baby? Did she and Jason like the gift you got them? I feel like babies can never have enough onesies.”

“We got them,” you corrected, gently nudging Jake’s arm with your own. After all, he had helped you select a gift for one of the other editorial assistants without having ever met the woman or her partner. No, in fact, most of your coworkers only existed as characters in stories to him, but he was fascinated by every little detail you told him. Moreover, as you discovered tonight, he’d retained every detail you’d told him, committed them to memory. Despite the busy, intricate details of his own job, he remembered all of these silly little things about the staff for the magazine you worked for. 

You watched with amusement as a blush colored the blond’s cheeks, though he nodded before parroting back a short ‘we.’ Your eyes continued to study him as he prepared your shared meal, watched the way his eyes lit up when he found you looking at him, the way he babbled on about his cooking technique. 

You were desperately, unshakably in love with this man. And if you were unsure before, you knew it now. And it didn’t matter that sometimes he was worlds away, didn’t matter that you wouldn’t always be in the same time zone, or that sometimes you’d have to fall asleep without the warmth of his embrace. No, this man, and the love he inspired in you, was worth it.

“Did you hear what I said?” he interrupted your reverie, eyes narrowed in playful irritation. 

“I’m in love with you, Jake Seresin.” 

And you weren’t nervous. You knew this man loved you, too, all the same. Because he came home to you and bought your favorite wine and listened to your ranting. Still, your heart was eased when a look of pure adoration crossed his features when he looked at you. He reached a hand out to turn off the fire on the stove, then came to stand between your parted thighs. 

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1,611 notes - Posted November 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[lifethroughtime]

Our NZ elopement wedding experience -

How much does our NZ elopement wedding cost?

We just got married a couple of days ago and it was just fun to look back how the past week has gone. It feels that it went so fast and I just wanted to document everything about our wedding (from preparation to the day itself)

So a quick story regarding our engagement - it was just an ordinary Sunday afternoon last March when my husband just suddently knelt down and gave me the best engagement ring I could ever asked for.

We then started with our planning come the holy week break and when we were talking about the things that need to be done and how much itll cost us -- we were just dumbfounded. We know how it is hard to do a wedding in PH, when we are here in NZ (but need to book everything online) and also I think we wont be ready with the cost -- we opted to just spend the money on more important things... And so from then on it was decided - we are going to have our wedding in NZ - elopement wedding style.

We then started browsing for packages, we even think of doing our wedding in Queenstown and also hire a helicopter but then It won't be saving us money :D so we decided to DIY everything.

Marriage License The first thing that we did was we applied for our marriage license. It was very easy with almost to no requirements needed (if we do just even a simple civil wedding in PH there are lots of requirements needed so we were very surprised when we applied our marriage license here)

We only paid $216 NZD for this (P7,560) as we also ordered copies of marriage certificate. We applied for this April 2024 and so it was really decided - we're going to have our wedding in NZ.

2. Celebrant

Media Shepherd - Stephen Spargo Media Shepherd | Marketing | Giggle | Farming

We decided to have a standard registry ceremony (and not the personalised one - where you have to write your own vows) as we wanted a really simple one. The celebrant fee is $90 NZD (P3,150)

3. Photographer for Wedding

Since we are going to do the wedding in NZ, our parents only request was for us to have good wedding photos. I joined an FB group called Student/Beginner Wedding Photographers NZ and met Jacob @ J.B. Photography there.

J.B. Photography (jbphotography.nz)

At the moment I havent seen all the photos but so far the ones that he sent the day after the wedding was good.

He was very good and fun to be with. We were lucky to book him and have paid only $450 (P15,750) for 3 hours because most of the photographers we saw charges like a grand or more. Hope the other photos that he's still about to send is also good.

4. Wedding Venue & Accommodation

The next thing that we decided to find was the venue. We wanted to have an all-in-one venue where we can have the wedding, stay for the night and enjoy lunch with our friends. We were so lucky to have found this place in airbnb. The owners were very kind to have the place re-decorated (and have new lawn being laid out so that the garden will look nice for our wedding)

We stayed from Sunday afternoon and checked out Tuesday morning and we werent ready to leave the place as it was so nice and perfect!

We paid $514 NZD for this stay (P18,005.40)

5. Wedding Rings

We decided to splurge a little on our rings as we know that this ring will be forever with us and is a symbol of our marriage. We got our rings at Michael Hill Jewellers NZ (the same place he got my engagement ring) and bought the rings we liked. It was also on sale that time (Mother's Day Sale) so we had a discount for it a little bit.

We paid a total of $2,062 (P72,184) for both of our rings.

6. Bride & Groom Wedding Attire

I certainly wouldn't want to spend a lot on a wedding dress and we knew what style we wanted to go for our wedding. We decided to wear something that really suits us and our personality and thankfully it wasnt so hard to find something around here in Taupo.

Groom

He already had his brown Sperry leather shoes & black longsleeves that he bought last 2020 and his black Levis pants that he bought just last year so we just need to find a coat.

Albert Pointon Menswear have some really nice ones and we bought his suit from there. His top suit costs $215 (P7,525)

Home - (albertpointonmenswear.com)

Year 2020 vs 2024

Bride

I had a little hard time finding what to wear (as there werent lot of female that wear white suits) and we even went to Hamilton one weekend for this and werent lucky.

We went to Chartwell Shopping Centre in Hamilton but we didnt find everything we were looking for. Luckily, there's a boutique in Taupo that sells white blazer coat. I bought the blazer thinking that it will match the pants that I bought at Farmers in Hamilton. After 1 day, I checked again and found the matching pants for that blazer and also bought it. Thank you so much to Gigi Belle, the pants and blazer is just perfect!!!

Home page – Gigi Belle Boutique

I also bought my shoes at Number One Shoes + Hannahs

Home | Shoes & Footwear NZ | Number One Shoes & Hannahs (numberoneshoesandhannahs.co.nz)

Then my husband ordered a flower bouquet and ribbon veil at Temu. I think it's just $10 (P350)

7. Hair & Makeup

I booked my hair and makeup at Cremebrulee Hair & Beauty so that I can be beautiful on our wedding day. It was really great - I think I looked nice and the hair does suit me. The hair and makeup costs me $301 (P10,535)

Crèmebrûlée Hair & Beauty | Taupo's Finest Hair Salon (cremebrulee.co.nz)

8. Food & Groceries; Other Beauty Care Purchases and Tripod

My husband cooked Filipino meals for our 2 guests + our photographer. He cooked pansit, lumpiang shanghai and chicken (Andoks style) + coffee jelly as dessert. There are also other things we bought at Chemist Warehouse (such as face masks etc) and also bought tripod stand for our wedding.

9. Weekend - Final Touch & Personal Care

On the weekend before our wedding day - I had my haircut at Cremebrulee and browshaping at SMK Bespoke Facials & Grooming Room (gettimely.com)

Paid $73 (P2,555) for the haircut and $25 (P875) for the brows.

10. Our minimoon at Tokaanu Guest Suite

We didnt have time to drive far - as my husband have to work Thursday so we just booked an airbnb for the night after our wedding for us to have a little relaxing time.

We especially enjoyed the geothermal pool and also played pool table all night (I know how he wanted to play billiards) :) This is my wedding gift to him and I paid $275 (P9,646) for this.

Summary:

All in all, below is the cost of our NZ wedding. I personally think we did pretty well with budgeting (it's just that some of these just costs a lot more than what it cost in PH)

If we were to repeat and do it all over again, I think we wouldnt be changing anything. I think our wedding day is perfect and just how we wanted it to be. It would be just nicer if we can have our family here in NZ and be with us then it will be really perfect...

[yosef72]

Title: Embracing the Interconnectedness of All Things

In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to feel isolated, disconnected, and overwhelmed. We often find ourselves caught up in the whirlwind of daily responsibilities, striving for personal achievements, and dealing with individual struggles. Yet, beneath the surface of our seemingly separate lives lies a profound truth: everything in this universe is interconnected.

The Ancient Wisdom of Interconnectedness

Thousands of years ago, an ancient Kabbalist story tells of a man who approached a sage with a simple request: “Tell me everything I need to know about the world, while standing on one foot.” The sage stood on one foot and replied, “Love everyone as you love yourself. The rest is commentary.” This succinct wisdom encapsulates the essence of our existence and the interconnectedness of all things.

Quantum Physics Meets Spiritual Insight

Modern science, particularly the study of quantum physics, has begun to unravel the mysteries of interconnectedness. Quantum entanglement shows that particles, regardless of the distance separating them, remain connected in a way that defies conventional understanding. This scientific discovery resonates deeply with ancient spiritual teachings, which have long held that all elements of the cosmos are intertwined.

The Power of Love and Empathy

Understanding our interconnectedness transforms how we perceive and interact with the world. When we truly grasp that we are all part of a unified whole, love and empathy become natural responses. The wisdom of “loving others as you love yourself” takes on a deeper meaning, as it acknowledges that there is no true separation between self and other. Hurting another person is, in essence, hurting oneself. Conversely, acts of kindness and compassion uplift not just others but our own souls.

Practical Steps to Embrace Interconnectedness

1. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation:

• Meditation helps us quiet the mind and connect with the deeper parts of ourselves. It allows us to experience the interconnectedness of all things firsthand. Set aside time each day to meditate and reflect on the unity of life.

2. Engage in Acts of Kindness:

• Small acts of kindness can have a ripple effect, spreading positivity and reinforcing our connection to others. Smile at a stranger, lend a helping hand, or listen attentively to someone in need.

3. Cultivate Empathy:

• Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Practice putting yourself in others’ shoes and seeing the world from their perspective. This deepens your connection to them and fosters compassion.

4. Seek Spiritual Wisdom:

• Explore spiritual teachings that emphasize interconnectedness. Whether through the study of Kabbalah, Buddhism, Taoism, or other spiritual paths, seek knowledge that expands your understanding of the unity of all life.

5. Connect with Nature:

• Nature provides a direct experience of interconnectedness. Spend time in natural settings, observing the intricate web of life. Recognize that you are part of this vast, interconnected ecosystem.

Overcoming the Illusion of Separation

The challenges we face in accepting and living by these principles are not new. Throughout history, spiritual giants have sought to share the wisdom of interconnectedness, often facing resistance and misunderstanding. Yet, their perseverance has paved the way for us to explore these truths.

One of the greatest barriers to embracing interconnectedness is the illusion of separation perpetuated by our reliance on the five senses and empirical evidence alone. While empirical science is invaluable, it only provides a partial view of reality. The deepest truths require us to look beyond the physical and tap into our intuitive and spiritual capacities.

The Ultimate Purpose of Creation

Understanding and living in harmony with the interconnectedness of all things is not just a spiritual goal but the very purpose of our existence. Ancient civilizations that attained this knowledge often left behind hidden or misunderstood evidence of their achievements. These remnants serve as a testament to the profound wisdom they possessed.

As we integrate this understanding into our lives, we begin to fulfill our true potential. We realize that our individual well-being is intrinsically linked to the well-being of others and the world around us. This realization compels us to act with love, compassion, and a sense of responsibility toward all life.

The journey to embracing the interconnectedness of all things is a path of both personal and collective awakening. By integrating ancient wisdom with modern insights, we can transcend the illusion of separation and cultivate a world where love and compassion are the guiding principles.

Let us embark on this journey together, recognizing that every thought, action, and intention ripples through the cosmos, touching the lives of others and shaping the reality we share. Through mindfulness, empathy, and a commitment to spiritual growth, we can create a more harmonious and interconnected world.

Remember, the profound wisdom of loving others as we love ourselves is not just a lofty ideal but a practical guide for living in alignment with the true nature of reality. Embrace this truth, and watch as it transforms your life and the world around you.

#ROG

[anotheraldin]

Assalamu Alaykum,

How are you doing? I you’re well insha’Allah.

I apologise for bothering you again. Your advice was very reasonable and I’d like to kindly request you to advise me again if it’s okay with you and you’re in a place to do so.

I’m the anon who asked you for advice on the guy who gave up as soon as his father ended things while we were about to get engaged.

I’ve been really struggling and I guess what makes it harder is the fact that he never reached out even for the last time. For the past whole week, I’ve been struggling with wanting to text him for the last time maybe in an attempt to have some sort of closure. But I’m also worried he might manipulate me again into believing he is somehow the victim and that might just derail whatever progress I’m trying to make. Not to mention the fact that his dad texted my uncle to tell me to not contact him or his son makes me worried that he might disrespect my family again. But I feel like this one last attempt to reach out to him will help me move on too because I guess then it would be clear to me that he knows what he’s doing and he’s okay with the decision he is making. Can you please advise?

Secondly, there were times I prayed for things to end as well because I was very anxious and terrified of marrying him. Ever since his parents met me for the first time, they’ve constantly caused issues just because of where I was from. Even back then, his behaviour had changed drastically the moment they weren’t in favour.

He went from being the guy who was reassuring me that he would handle everything even if his parents weren’t in favour just a few days ago to the guy who just constantly talked about things not working out and asking me to marry someone else. Eventually he also made up a reason to come see me without wanting to inform either of our families as this may be “the last time we were seeing each other because he didn’t know what decision his parents were going to make.”

Despite the fact that I was begging and struggling for 4-5 months to him for some sort of reassurance, communication and even clarity, he saw my pain and suffering and used to do nothing except sitting around waiting for them to make a decision. Never giving any clarity on the “efforts” he claimed to be making. It was only after constant pain and suffering and those 4-5 months that felt like a living nightmare that he eventually decided to have a serious conversation with his parents and they gave in right away.

So the fact that it was that easy and simple for him to get them to agree and yet he refused to do anything had terrified me to my core due his lack of empathy and consideration for me and when his parents agreed, he switched up and went back to being the same sweet and emotional guy and gaslighted and manipulated me again into believing why he allowed me to suffer for this long and I decided to give him a chance.

Due to this fear, although I prayed istikhara and made lots of duas for him and his family to be better for me and vice verse and things to work out, sometimes I got so scared that I used to pray for things to end. Now I constantly feel heartbroken and guilty thinking about having made this dua and the possibility that Allah might have accepted it. How do I get over this?

Jazak Allahu khayran. May Allah reward you and ease your affairs, aameen.

Wa 'Alaikum As-Salaam!

I'm hanging in there. About to have some food and insha'Allah go buy that green sweater afterwards. Your since du'a's are always appreciated.

Your question hit the feels and it was personal to you so I tried to answer it to the best of my ability. I'll try to answer this in steps.

It's normal to feel that way and before doing so, you really need to have a heart to heart with yourself if you want to do that while overlooking previous actions and what's currently going on, as a way to possibly re-establish connection to avoid processing the feelings you're experiencing currently away from this person, or because you feel it's truly worth to continue fighting for this person.

I don't necessarily know your culture so I can't say too much about the objections about the location. That could be something they publicly voiced and it could be an entirely different issue altogether, or it could be just your birthplace. It's possible the more they brought up the issue to him, the more it lessened his resolve for this.

5 months is a long time to push this issue and not get anywhere. I'd say it sounds like you really wanted this and believed in it more than he possibly did. You know your interactions with him and it's worth having an honest conversation with yourself when it comes to evaluating them to see where he stood without any possible jadedness.

Both of you sound so young so maybe this is just me over-examining through older eyes, and not letting you both experience life and mistakes that come with it as well. Maybe he just needs something to happen that'll make him commit to you, but that sounds uncomfortable to write at my age as those seem like intrinsic things when it comes to marriage. I don't know anon, it's not a simple thing to just say as this is a bond between two people that I don't want to say anything to disrupt. You really, really gotta do some serious evaluating over things during this period. Maybe discuss it with friends who've seen you go through this to see what they think as well.

I don't really have an answer about the last one to be honest with you. I'd say maybe ask one of the sisters on here who happen to be from a similar background as you to see their perspective on what you're experiencing. They might provide you with a better outlook.