#this was really interesting i have a lot of thoughts on it
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Jason's on the side lines like "What the fuck? You broke like that?!"
And Stephanie shrugs her shoulders saying "He's got a point, plus not killing my dad is much more... Satisfying because he knows that I was close to doing it."
Hi hello I will forever be thinking about how close Steph came to straight up murdering her dad during her debut
#PREV i think all the time abt what batman says to steph here#bc already 'destroyed' is a really interesting way to refer to Stephs life and tje consequences of arthurs abuse#but Steph is a person who's both constantly put down AND oft times puts herself down#we're never given any indication of what she wants to do/be when she grows up (partially bc she's a side character-#-who only has as much inner life as serves the story BUT SHHH lemme use this real quick for characterization reasons)#when she's pregnant she says she must be a disappointment to her mom and while that's in a specific context#i think it's not completely unsubstantiated to say she might've felt that way pre-pregnancy too#Steph has virtually no supportive adults in her life (her gym coach is added later. and also deals coke in that same issue. so)#Batman saying that Steph's life isn't destroyed (and also validating the fact that Arthur DID hurt her-#-something no one but Steph seems to acknowledge (crystal at this point still enables him and steph seems to have no one else to-#-confide in)#might've been the first time in recent memory that someone treated Steph as if#a) she had a future b) she was a victim and c) she had enough worth to preserve said future (by not getting a rap sheet)#erm idk if i worded this well but YEAH had a lot of thoughts about this line wayyy back when i initially read the issue#but seeing this post and prev tags reminded me
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Chase:
Today is a really weird day and I didn’t know how I would feel about coming over to my best friend Bryce’s house especially after the incident.
Bryce and I have been friends for over 12 years now and him and I have always been a couple of scrawny gay nerds. We both love Minecraft legend of Zelda, just about every video game you can think of and one way we really bonded was figuring out that we are both gay.
Now for years, I’ve always known that Bryce had a crush on me. For me it was never that I didn’t like Bryce or I was never interested, but I never wanted to ruin the friendship. But then you have Walker is older brother. Walker is a few years older than us. He’s super handsome, athletic, charming, he could basically date anyone he laid his eyes on.
The truth is Walker was my sexual awakening for years. I’ve stayed at their house and spent the night and it wouldn’t be uncommon to see Walker come out and nothing but basketball shorts hell I don’t even think he would wear underwear sometimes.
I can remember the way seeing him made me blush, and I tried my hardest not to stare at him. I don’t know if Walker could tell that I was checking him out. Or maybe Walker was just used to people checking him out shouldn’t be any surprise that his little brother‘s gay friend had his eyes glued to him.
And somehow he continues to keep getting hotter and hotter and hotter…
So several weeks ago, Bryce and Walker’s family went on vacation to some tropical island. And something very strange happened while touring an old temple. How Bryce explained it to me was that they had a sign up that specifically said, “ please do not touch artifact.”
Bryce can be such a stickler for rules and I can almost see it in my head. It all went down. Bryce told Walker not to touch it. Walker likes to get on Bryce‘s nerves Walker reaches for it and then shit got real quick. Because Walker and Bryce have now switched bodies.
When Bryce was explaining all this to me, I really thought it was bullshit. I mean, who would believe that that sounds like something from a movie and yet even hearing Walker‘s voice, I can tell just by the tone that it’s Bryce.
So today is the first day that I have seen Bryce since he swapped bodies with Walker. And that’s why I feel all kinds of weird.
Now Bryce and I have stayed with each other like 1 million times and it’s really not unusual for us to be basically naked around each other. OK maybe not completely naked but like at least in her underwear.
And I have tried really, really hard to make him feel comfortable and I think I’m doing a really good job but having him standing in front of me in just his brother’s boxers is driving me a bit insane.
I’m sitting on Bryce‘s bed and walks back into his room just to ask me if I wanted anything from downstairs like something to drink or maybe a snack. I can barely get out the words because I can’t stop staring at the chiseled God in front of me.
“ chase you’re staying the night right?,” he asked me.
“ oh yeah, of course I’m staying the night as long as that’s OK.”
“ yeah man of course it’s okay! You know it’s okay man. No one cares you stay the night. You’re like basically family sides. My brother isn’t going to be home tonight. He’s wanted a lot of space since the whole. I’ve got his body thing. And both my parents are out of town so it’s just gonna be us,” he says with a side smirk.
“ well if it’s just us what do you wanna get into tonight?,” I say trying to make conversation.
I’m holding my eye contact directly at his face and I try my hardest not to look anywhere else, but he takes his hand and start scratching his balls and I can almost feel my whole cock twitch.
“ I mean since everybody’s not here tonight, we can always break into my parents liquor cabinet, whoop whoop!”
You know I am probably the most innocent 18 year-old alive, I don’t wanna attend parties nor do I really sneak around my parents but I feel like alcohol sounds like a great idea right now. I mean it I might be able to calm down a bit.
“Hell yeah! That’s sounds fun!,” I say with some enthusiasm.
“Bet! Be right back!”
I hear as heavy feet running down the stairs and all I can do is try to think of something that would totally turn me off like anything taxes, my grandparents, just something…
And yet all I can think about is how hot it would be if I could suck on his toes. I’ve had a thing for feet a while now and it’s taking me a little bit to accept it and a part of that I blame Walker for him because he has some sexy ass feet.
I can remember clearly the smell of his feet after he would finish football practice and he would pull off his shoes. Shit! Fuck! I’m so hard right now. I feel like I’m gonna have to sneak away and beat one out in the bathroom just to clear my head.
And then here comes Bryce with two glasses in his hand and a bottle of wine for the both of us just super eager.
I reposition myself to where I’m laying flat on my stomach so he doesn’t notice.
Bryce hops on to the bed with me and try’s his hardest to navigate a wine opener.
“Geez, I have no clue what I’m doing here…”
I eventually take it and started twisting in. I try to pull it out but struggle.
“Here since you now have all of the muscles.”
He rolls his eyes at me and tugs it out.
“Success!”
“Good team work there he-man,” I say playfully.
Bryce’s pours both of us a glass and at first I thought it tasted awful. But the second glass… now I see why people like it. I feel so warm inside and relaxed.
We both lay back in his bed.
“Is it super weird for you?,” I ask him.
“What?”
“You know… being in your Walkers body.”
“Um… yes. Yes and no I guess. I feel like everything has just moved so quick since the trip. I feel very different in public, like I’m so much more noticed. girls hit on me… so do guys. It’s a lot to take in especially since you and my family are the only ones who know about it.”
“What about Walker’s girlfriend?”
“Oh he broke up with her, thought it would be less weird. Although he had to do it over text because I refused to call or see her in person.”
“Damn! That’s crazy.”
“Yeah but she was like his girlfriend for the month, nothing serious.”
Of course…
“So is this pretty permanent?”
“Yeah I think so, unless you know of any other magic objects than can reverse it haha.”
“No, not off of the top of my head,”I say jokingly.
“Well… that answers your question. This is my body now. This is the new me I guess,” he says looking his muscles over.
I look them over as well and then my eyes draw this briefs… he’s got a hard on…
Bryce catches my eyes and says, “you wanna touch it?”
“What?!?”
“Come on Chase… don’t play games with me. I know you and I know you’ve had the hots for this body. I’ve known for years now.”
I take a deep breath… I feel my nervous all over again.
“It’s okay, I know you like this body. It’s my body now. And I want you to touch my massive dick.”
“But Bryce!”
“Shhh! Chase I’ve had a crush on you for years and I know you would never fool around with me. And now I have the body you’ve been lusting for years now. TOUCH MY MASSIVE DICK PLEASE!”
“Fuck, okay.”
I start touching it from the outside and it does feel huge!
“You know I love you Bryce, you’re the most important person to me. I just never wanted us to loose our friendship. It’s why I never tried anything with you.”
“I know. And listen I know you weren’t trying to go after my brother. I know what he looks like. Everyone does. But now I have the body and the personality so, I’m giving you no choice but to date me. Got it?”
“Ugh fine,” I say rolling my eyes.
“Now can you do me a favor?”
“Sure!”
“Can I see your feet?” he says to me.
Wow! Wasn’t expecting that!
“Wait why?”
“I hope you don’t think this is weird but I have a thing for them.”
“Shut up! So do I!”
“You do?!?”
“Yeah especially…,” I eye down to his feet and wiggles his toes.
“Oh my god! This is about to be a wild night!”
“Wait, can I kiss you?”
“Please!”
Part 2 Coming…
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Why Leona Gave Himself The Bad Ending
Leona Kingscholar Analysis
Usual disclaimer to say that these are just my thoughts and you don’t have to feel pressured to agree. This was my thought process as I played through the parts of Chapter 7 Parts 212-226, featuring Leona’s dream triggered by Malleus’s magic.
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I wanna start off by saying that I believe all the dreams are a mixture of Malleus’s magic and the dreamers themselves.
Idia theorized that Malleus is sort of “setting up the parameters” in a way, then each of the dreamers' personalities and imaginations affect the dream in different ways. The emphasis of this has been brought by Idia several times that it’s the strength of imagination that determines how complex dreams are. Which is maybe why in the first years dreams seem so basic? They’re young, their magical abilities are still new, and their magic is no match for Malleus’s magic. That and, to be fair, most of the first years don’t have the same amount of angst and turmoil as some of the other second years and third years have.
With that being said, I believe that because of his high intelligence, magical prowess, and his hyper-vigilance, that is the main reason Leona’s dream was so…different than the others.
But let's get into it!
There are a lot of Lion King references in this dream, and it’s very clear the writers wanted to play around and show this off. I feel like they did a good job of integrating the themes of the movie into Leona's dream. It does give me a little validation as I feel Leona’s struggles and personality are closely linked to his great Seven Counterpart, Scar. More so than any of the other overblotters. When I analyze Leona I sometimes I do use Scar as a starting point to understand his intentions.
This is how I came to the conclusion long ago that being king would never make Leona happy because it's not what he truly wants.
We start with the dream back in the Sunset Savanna. It’s VERY interesting to see that there is hyena prejudice right off the bat as a woman flees from Ruggie while he attempts to buy food.
Right off, everyone can tell something is…off about the city. Especially coming fresh from Ruggie’s dream where everything was idyllic and happy for hyenas BECAUSE of Leona.
Grim hits us with the: “I laugh in the face of danger!” line. We even get the three hyenas referenced and the “love for you to stick around for dinner” line. The once proud lioness-dominated palace guard has been taken over by hyena “ruffians” (interesting choice to portray a disenfranchised group being given jobs as the new guard as a negative thing, but moving on.)
The first interesting thing we get is that the palace is somewhat rundown and empty? The group makes comments of how dark and dreary it is, and how few people are around. Is there an implication that the servants fled at some point after Leona became King or did he replace them? This further shows me that Leona for whatever reason has chosen to isolate himself. To me, it's most likely that he already feels isolated by his country and those in the palace.
From the looks of it “Malleus’s magic” has given Leona the one thing he has always wanted, but has he? Leona seems less than thrilled and genuinely upset by the fact his whole family is...gone. As I mentioned in my Leona relationships post, I think that he holds a complex relationship with his family, and while he resents them, in no way can I see him wanting them to be dead.
It’s now I started to think that Leona’s magic was overriding the simple “let them eat cake” logic of all of the happier dreams. This dream feels TOO real, dark, dreary, and…sad. Could it be Leona’s intelligence or cynicism, ruining what’s supposed to be an idyllic scenario?
Why is even in his WILDEST dreams Leona is still miserable?
Hmm.
A lot of people have talked about Kifaji and their thoughts on his presence. It’s strange to see people praise him as “a loving parental figure” as if he’s really there trying to help Leona. But, Kifaji is not there. This Kifaji is a manifestation of Leona’s mind and I’ll get to why that’s interesting and what I think he represents. Remember, that often in other dreams we’ve seen of loved ones or rivals and they can act normal, out of character, or even cruel. Vil and Neigie come to mind and Neige turned out to be the blot keeping Vil asleep.
Kifaji is a bit different. He actively tries to help the group wake Leona as opposed to encouraging the twisted dream logic. For this reason, to me, Kifaji represents Leona’s conscious and the Dream!Leona we see represents his shadow self, like the dark side of the moon. AKA, the Leona we meet in Chapter 2. In fact, this whole dream feels like a rehash of Chapter 2.
We get the outdated Leona that dumbs himself down and settles for less, cloaking himself in his pride and believing that everyone is below him. An idle king while he lets others do his dirty work. (Scar basically.)
Leona asks Kifaji to sing (another Lion King reference) and it plays out how you would think. Leona tells Kifaji that he is the only competent person in the kingdom. And he argues that the kingdom is in shambles, not because of his choices as King, but because everyone else sucks basically.
Hmm.
Kifaji reminds Leona that while he is clever and his plans are grand, that he can not treat people like human chess pieces. (Can I just say I love when chess is brought up to us because I find that when people analyze Leona or his thoughts they often forget how much he uses chess to process his thoughts. We saw that plenty in the Tamashina Mina event!) I think it helps him sort his thoughts and emotions which he can have a hard time doing.
I think Kifaji represents Leona’s mindset post Chapter 2 and because Kifaji in his real life is one of the only people who probably stands up to Leona, he has placed him in this antagonist role in his mind. (but not really) Plus, it’s not far off from Kifaji’s actual treatment of Leona in the Tamashina Mina event.
So yeah, Leona acts more like he does in Chapter 2—he's the player or the king even and everyone else around is just lowly pieces.
Just like the scene from The Lion King, Scar and Leona are not happy. Even though they are supposedly getting their deepest desire, they remain bitter and…alone.
When I first began to read into Leona it was quite obvious to me that the whole “I’ll never be king" thing was just a front for something else. What I think Leona truly craves is approval and acceptance.
Being king, especially of a broken kingdom that despises him, will never make him happy. But, why do the people not love him? This is supposed to be a fantasy right?
There is this interesting layer of how he became king too. Instead of Cheka or Falena simply not existing, like I thought it might be, they are dead. That is…so much more tragic than it needed to be. As if deep down Leona believes the only way he can become king (his dreams to come true) is if tragedy happens. This reminds me of his bitter view/the symbolism of his unique magic. That he can only bring misery wherever he goes—everything he touches turns to sand.
I also think that Leona is afraid of failing and much of this dream is his anxieties and insecurities that linger from all his past failures.
Though interestingly enough, I sense that in the dream, as implied later by Idia, Leona has implemented an “over-exaggeration” of his policies and plans for the kingdom. It was almost like he purposely ran his resources dry and gave up trying to compromise with anyone for the sake of “progress.”
Why, though?
It’s very masochistic in a way. It’s almost like he wanted to prove himself right. Everything he touches will turn to sand eventually and his grand plans will fail even if he claims they are “perfect.”
That’s why this dream is probably the most masochistic and self-deprecating we have seen. I think what initially began to draw me to Leona’s character is because of the hidden pain he holds. He is by far one of the most easygoing, and lackadaisical acting of the cast, but…he cares, he cares so, so much about how he is perceived and his haunted by his hopelessness about his future and the failures of his past.
I think the pain of never feeling good enough, causes his mind to be unable to “play nice” with Malleus’s dream magic to even manifest any sort of positive future. One where he holds a position he wants AND is loved and respected. it’s just impossible that he could ever have that, even in his wildest dreams.
He’s too much of a “realist.”
Side tangent, but a frustrating take is to see was the: “Oh yeah, see? He would have sucked as king.” tinged comments after this came out.
I think it’s more complicated than that.
This isn’t me trying to defend him necessarily, but to be fair, all dreams tend to be over exaggerations by the dreamer. Plus, I think the fact that Ruggie HATES Leona in this dream and is suddenly in favor of Falena, is a sign right there we can not trust Leona’s interpretation of the people he knows in his dream. He is sort of an unreliable narrator that way.
Besides, like in The Lion King, why would all the water dry up, just because the hyenas over-hunted?
A big theme in Lion King and even The Lion Guard TV show is "the balance of nature." The blight upon the Pridelands when Scar takes over feels more like symbolism of the “unbalance of nature” caused by the tragedy of Mufasa’s death. Which makes me again, connect that Leona feels the only way he can succeed is by inflicting misery on others. Like his magic, perhaps a part of him believes he is a curse.
I theorized in my Tamashina Mina review, that maybe Leona feels like an outcast himself, and the separation he feels from his country is showcased in how he blames the citizens for the decline of the kingdom, rather than his plans. He feels isolated from them.
By this point, I was having flashbacks to Chapter 2, where he got a whiff of his plan failing and he still pushed through even though he knew it would fail. At first, he may have started doing okay as king, but maybe when he came upon too many obstacles or pushback, He just gave up. Because he was not instantly loved by the people, who probably already feared him, he’d rather not even try. Suddenly, they are “not worth his time”, and he can’t help them because they suck.
Leona’s problem has always been his pride. I think he has to put it aside to genuinely help people reach their potential and learn to collaborate with others more. Part of how this dream plays out, is him realizing that maybe some criticisms Kifaji had about his pride all along may be true. Leona refuses to play nice with others.
That’s why I think Kifaji represents a more sensible and lucid Leona. He is in a sense, talking to his past self, and trying to shake himself from the dream and his outdated ideals.
Ortho even points out that Ruggie is not really the Ruggie we know but rather a part of Leona’s imagination. Again, which puts emphasis on how the characters in his dream are more indicative of his mindset as opposed to being “in character”. Maybe Ruggie hating him in his dream is his inner anxieties about him and Ruggie post Chapter 2 fallout. He feels like Ruggie could never forgive him for what he did. He let him down. And Leona being bad with people and feelings, doesn’t know the proper way to apologize.
Kifaji (woke Leona) says that the state of the kingdom is a result of him “pursuing efficiency over all things and disregarding other people's feelings.” It really feels like he is calling himself out here. Does he REALLY wanna help people? Or is it just Leona’s selfish pride who wants attention for just being smart?
Dream!Leona complains about the protesters interrupting his nap which is another sign for me of the exaggeration of the scenario of Leona being the king. Like...did he not criticize Falena for having the same carefree and laid-back attitude? And yet here he is...complacent in the same behavior he once criticized Falena of.
Interesting.
Ortho mentions that Leona’s dream is clearly a more complex situation than the other dreams.
I think there is a key implication we are missing here too, that I haven’t seen many mention. There is a throwaway line that Jack mentions that Leona has not attended school and is king instead. And he doesn't seem to know Dream!Ruggie either. Nor Ruggie him.
There is no doubt his time at NRC has shaped him to be the Leona we know now. Someone who has at least somewhat benefited with the connections he made at school. It does seem like this Dream!Leona is regressed. And because he never attended school, he is a much colder person who has no regard for others' feelings at all. He is even more socially inept.
I feel like this is a common theme to show us that despite the independent nature of most of the students at NRC, that it can still be “the friends we made along the way.” trope. These connections do matter and especially to Leona. He mentions this in his post-overblot monologue in the light novel. He found his pack at NRC. This time with his dorm members affected his personality for the better. It's kinda sweet when you think about it!
Ortho mentions Dream!Leona appears DEEPLY absorbed in the delusions of his dream. This means that even though he has the lucid failsafe of Kifaji, Leona’s self-deprecation, despair, and pain are still overtaking his logic. That's what's crafted this nightmare. (And he later references it as such.)
Everyone acknowledges that he can’t possibly be happy and looks EVEN MORE miserable than at school. It can't be a silly happy fantasy, but a grim dark reality of what he thinks of himself.
That's why he gave himself the bad ending.
I love the double entendre of Idia saying Leona is building his dream like a “sandbox” game. Lots of Minecraft references. (Leona Minecrafter confirmed? Or hear me out…Leona playing King Crusaders or Civilization V FGHJ)
Anyways, Idia or Ortho, (I forget) suggests that perhaps he has run out of ”simulations” for his dream playthrough. And being an intelligent person his mind tends to overthink naturally and this caused his dream to have a more realistic tone. Plus, I theorize that because Leona is powerful and his intelligent, his magic and imagination was almost able to overwrite Malleus's, a standard happy dream formula.
Ortho suggests Leona chose a more “realistic mode “on purpose.” Perhaps like I theorized earlier, it is almost a masochistic test to see if he could have everything he wanted? Leona is a very analytical person who enjoys games. It makes sense, the way he often plays chess alone to practice “strategies.” But as I mentioned before, I think he just genuinely believes it's not possible. Ortho mentions he thinks Leona’s the type to understand that an “aggressive urban development” would come with risks.
Jack asks “If Leona knew this was a bad plan then why would he make the citizens suffer and be hated?” (Sheesh, now we know Leona really is the type to play pretend and get a lil too real with it.)
Ruggie adds that Leona may be “doing something he knows he shouldn't be on purpose.” Like maybe he did it to be dastardly and maybe he just wanted to “feel the rush” of being a ruthless and hated king.
When Azul asks Ruggie if he thinks Leona takes pleasure in immoral things he says that he can't say for sure, only that he is a prince that no doubt can take pleasure in “bad things”.
To me, however, it feels like a masochistic move to prove to himself his happiness is unattainable.
Then Sebek chimes in: “How could he go so far to kill his family only to abandon his responsibilities as a king and become a horrible one?"
No one seems to know for sure. Everyone in the group has their theories but the consensus in the group is that - nobody fuckin’ knows why this guy intricately carved himself such a miserable fantasy for himself. Very masochistic for a guy who appears to be so proud huh?
Idia continues to mention that Leona’s imagination is so vast compared to everyone else's. It fills out a whole “world” completely and the mechanics of this world must make sense. He's playing on hard mode. In Leona’s brain this seemed to manifest as if he is to “get what he wants” it can't be serendipitous or through triumph, IT MUST be through tragedy.
Can we lighten up a little?
Again, he may have started to do “good work” but quickly realized that keeping up with all to create a perfect kingdom was waaaay over his head. Maybe he was afraid to give it his all, because he knew everyone would still hate him anyway.
Another reason I think Leona thrives better as a “big fish in a small pond” so to speak. Like his dorm leader role where he can interact directly with his cute (this man used this word a lot for some reason) froshes, make tangible make things better for a small group or community.
But as we saw, even with his dorm Leona began to feel overwhelmed with the pretty promises he made to his underclassmen in Chapter 2 about the Spelldrive tournament. He like…wants to be wanted but he’s terrified of people actually relying on him, because trying your best and then failing anyways is the most painful thing to him. His instinct when he gets too frustrated with something is to act like he never cared about it in the first place or anyone. AKA “I did everything right and it's THE REST OF YOU who are incompetent.”
That’s why I personally think that in the future Leona working within a small community might be a better fit for him, using his skills to see potential in others as a way to connect with them and teach them how to thrive.
So yeah, needless to say the group is stumped on analyzing Leona’s intentions and Azul hilariously notes that Leona is just…a complicated person.
What an understatement.
The group hatches a silly plan to have Ruggie puppet a Cheka hologram and yeah obviously it didn’t work.
This is where it started to get interesting again.
Dream!Kifaji said he’s been “waiting for the day Leona would wake up from his bad dream” and joins the fight against him to wake him. It’s like Leona telling himself that it's time to let his original dream go.
Ortho is surprised Kifaji is on their side, that he should be the darkness pulling Leona back in, but like I mentioned I think Kifaji is actually a “fail safe” Leona created to stay lucid or...maybe the little bit of hope he has fostered now that he has grown from Chapters 2’s events.
Since Kifaji is the one to normally call him out, maybe he's Leona’s way of processing his relationship with him. And that maybe…sometimes as annoying as Kifaji is, he has a point. Kifaji is the one who is implied to have raised him after all, so it's no surprise Leona sees him in a father-like role more than his own father.
“No one understands me, it's not my fault.” Leona laments running away, running away from himself.
Reminds me a lot of Chapter 2 Leona where he began to feel sorry for himself instead of actually trying to fix things. It's clear that no matter how smart and mature Leona is…is that he still has a lot of growing to do. And that his relationship with his family and country are complex. There is not a black and white or good and bad with this situation and I feel like this is important when talking about him and his relationships with his family.
He was very much ostracized and probably neglected to some extent by his real parents but at a certain point, Leona decided to give up on improving himself just because he didn't achieve the results he wanted to. It's one of his biggest flaw.
His complacency is what drags him further into the darkness. Not Kifaji.
Sitting and stewing in his despair and how unfair his life has been instead of reaching out. Rehashing all thise chess strategies alone on his chess board until his brain hurts. Making grandiose plans instead of actually working hard toward a realistic goal.
The idle king. A king with naught. (Nothing.)
I am now realizing that in a way (because Ruggie and Leona are so similar) Jack is Leona’s foil; he is the determined and earnest one who admires Leona at his best. He still holds the innocence and the idealism of working hard.
The group jumped through the darkness with Leona and we are replaying the events of Chapter 2 once again.
Ruggie and Jack watch it go down in dismay. Ruggie addresses that he once did think Leona’s way of thinking/plan was good and it’s cool to see he clearly regrets it now too.
They watch the drama play out as if Leona’s plan in Chapter 2 actually succeeded and see that he craves more. More ways for Savanaclaw to get ahead by unsavory means.
Jack says even if Leona becomes king there will be no end to his dissatisfaction. BOOM, there it is.
That is why Chapter 2 is so mind boggling. Leona’s whole speech was about being king and second. But it’s clear now, it's not what he truly wants. I think Leona is afraid to admit what he really wants. Because that takes vulnerability and then comes the possibility of being rejected.
Jack also notes that, despite Leona getting “everything he wanted” he seems more grumpier and dissatisfied than usual.
“Leona is not your King, hes’ our Dorm Leader,” Jack growls. They fight and we get a nice callback to Lion King here. “Remember who you are.”
As Leona wakes up from his dreams he straight up says, yeah the scheme from Chapter 2 was…stupid. (Nice.)
Oh and we finally get some acknowledgement that Ruggie feels like Leona abandoned him in Chapter 2 which SHEEEEEEEESH. This is a deep cut for me, considering Ruggie’s real dad abandoned him. And it really confirms the fact he sees Leona as a father/big brother figure.
But, Leona doesn't, he sacrifices himself for Ruggie as the whole group tries to escape the crumbling dream. And while Ruggie cries out for Leona, Leona goes down smirking not knowing what will happen to him.
It’s time for him to face himself, his blot monster.
Blot!Leona wants them dead, all of them. Cheka, Falena, everyone. The real Leona finds it kind of pathetic. Because, in reality, I don't think Leona hates Cheka or Falena and he doesn't want to be alone anymore.
Leona admits to his blot that yeah, no he can’t do the job. He can’t be king. And instead of it being a negative it’s more a relief? Maybe he is incompetent too. He is addressing himself and his previous grandiose illusions. He hasn’t done anything worthy of being king.
However, he will not give up. He’s finally living up to Savanaclaw’s motto of perseverance (which he sorta laughed off in Chapter 2?)
This next part is what struck me the most because. He just lays it out so simply, finally saying it out loud.
Self awareness!! Like he finally said it!! (And I felt very vindicated in this moment, NGL)
What he desires most is the approval of others.
Ah, and Blot!Leona responds with the fact he can't earnestly try, it's too painful to think of failing. Props for Leona acknowledging his flaws! Just like with the other overblotters. But I'm especially floored here because of how PRIDEFUL he is all the time.
In order to have better relationships with people, he has to leave that whole “they all hated me” shit behind. Because in reality, there are people who care for him despite his flaws. There are those who look up to him and admire him, for him.
But, the idea of that I think is so…crazy to him that he tends to deny its very existence. Then when he is genuinely complimented on his leadership or whatever skills he brushes it off.
He calls himself disgusting which feels kinda sad but it’s proof he has moved on from his previous way of things. What did I say earlier? Leona is afraid of failure.
Giving being a king a earnest optimistic go is too painful for him because ultimately he is afraid of failing. Like he was happier to play the role of tyrannical king than to bother to build relations with the citizens of his kingdom.
As his blot self withers away it’s almost…sad compared to the previous blot monster showdowns we’ve seen. It mentions something about “his friends” (A reference to Scar’s final words.) like he’s reaching out for Leona so it's not alone anymore. And Leona almost embraces his monster? It’s clear he feels pity for this thing…him. His pain, his depression, his loneliness. Maybe a step in the way of self-love? He acknowledges (almost as to soothe it) that it will always be with him, clawing from inside. Except now, he won’t give up.
He vows that he will get what he wants one day, for both of them. He’ll have his “own throne and pride” instead of wanting for someone else’s. He’ll find his place to belong through his own merit.
It reminds me of that expression “find your own tribe” which is an expression that those who are not close to heirt families understand all too well. He wants to find satisfaction outside his desire to rule and maybe because we know he prefers NRC to home, this confirms his fondness for his dorm life. (Savanaclaw found a family dorm.)
When he returns to his original dream of being king Kifaji is there as they look on at Pride Rock. The fact that it is raining is telling that hope has returned. (Just like at the end of Lion King) and that by accepting that “being king” is not what he really wants now “all things are balanced again”.
They have a nice moment here. Leona acknowledging that he has been given the tools to do good things by Kifaji’s training is a big mature moment for him. (Especially how they acted toward one another in the Tamashina Mina event) And Kifaji praising him, since this a dream, could be a testament to what he wishes would happen between them.
AKA Leona finally feels more, “at peace” with himself.
As Leona destroys this false kingdom with his sand he seems reserved, it’s almost bittersweet as it all settles over him, his new found aspirations, letting the old ones go. He's letting the past go. A big theme in Lion King. (I really feel the writers must be fans of the movies.)
Kifaji says: “Go to the place you really belong.”
This line kinda got me. Because the implication is that Night Raven College and his dorm is where he really belongs. Leona is confirming that his experiences at NRC have shaped who he is SO MUCH.
For years he accepted his life as it was, a cage, and now he is acknowledging that he has the power to break that cage and do whatever he wants. It’s a great callback to the advice he gave Jamil in Chapter 6.
This is quite refreshing as he mentioned before that it was too “late for him”. Now, he realizes it isn’t.
Back with the gang, Ruggie admits his fear that Leona will abandon him again. Leona denies it, and says somewhat casually that he is in fact a true friend of his. This feels like a clever inversion of the line that Scar says to the hyenas about being his “friends.”
But, we know now that Leona does mean it now. And this shows Leona’s desire to finally stray from the “path” of his Great Seven counterpart and actually like…have friends?
The reunion of the Savanaclaw trio is actually really sweet. For a dorm full of cocky jocks with strong personalities they seem to be so genuinely happy to be reunited.
Jack bursting out into tears and crying got me tearing up. Like Ruggie and Leona clearly are bit more reserved in their emotions but we see Savanaclaw really are close, despite their disagreements. They care for one another as a dysfunctional little family.
As a dorm that doesn't get much mainstream attention compared to others it was so nice to have this little moment. It's hard to tell, but I’m 99% sure there was a group hug based on how the sprites moved and the sound effects. At least a nice back pat from Leona. (Thanks, dad.)
All in all, I really...enjoyed his dream section. As someone who is pretty hyper-critical, for the most part, it satisfied most of the things I wanted to feel. I even got emotional at a few points! Yes, it would have been nicer to spend more time with “king” Leona and dive into it more. Or get more lore about his family. But, he admitted it FINALLY, everything I have clocked about him all those years ago. It’s very satisfying to see his growth in a tangible straightforward way, instead of just me reading between the lines.
I hope we will continue to see even more growth with his character (Like we did in the Halloween event) and I’m excited to see the role he will play in the rest of Chapter 7, even if it’s just him being a cranky old man. (What do you expect he was raised by one?)
I'd like to end this with some positivity. As someone who deep dives into character stuff a lot I know it's really comforting to see part of yourself reflected back in your favorite characters.
To anyone reading who feels they have things in common with Leona or his despair, the truth is that you should keep going, even if it's just to spite the world itself.
Your vision and presence in this world are valid all on their own and that failing is not indicative of your value as a person. It never will be.
Keep fighting to find your place, your pack and never forget who you are.💚
--
Thanks for reading!! This one took quite a bit to edit and think through so if you like my Leona analyses, I’d appreciate a reblog or even just if you wanna share it with your friends! Shoutout to the youtuber ガスマスクゲーマー whose video I pulled these screenshots from. Thank you!
#twst#leona kingscholar#twst chapter 7#leona twst#charcter analysis#twst leona#disney twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland#ruggie bucchi#jack howl#savanaclaw#twst analysis#bunnwich writes📝
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Sometimes animals have personalities or behaviour needs you can't work around, too - my parents got a puppy from a responsible breeder, and her health was fine, we were experienced with blue heelers, my mom is really experienced at training dogs....but as Belle got older, it was clear that she was not a good fit for a home with kids. She was just too inherently hyper and her baseline level of neurotic was a lot higher than average, and despite my mom trying so hard and working with her a lot, it just wasn't a good fit. We even worked with a behaviourist about it, and she agreed that Belle needed a home with a different environment, and worked with us to find her a new home. Sometimes stuff like that just doesn't work out, and you have to do your best.
Also sometimes there are people who are not as honest as they should be with an animal's personality, which is a whole other issue. When I was looking for a buddy for Annie, a smaller local rescue flat out lied to me re one of the cats I was interested in. I said I wanted a friendly young cat who would be able to match or at least put up with Annie's high energy levels, and the woman I spoke to said the cat she was fostering would be a great fit. I went to meet the cat and the cat was so skittish and anxious that even other pets moving around in the same household, or a car driving past outside, had her really upset - there's no way that cat would've been happy in my house, but the foster was like "no, no, she's like that all the time, it's normal" and maybe it's normal for that cat, but that was not a cat that would handle sharing space with another cat, and the woman was doing a disservice by acting like it would all smooth out. I did not adopt that cat, or a cat from that rescue, and I was honestly pretty horrified that she was trying to push that cat on me so hard. (The cat also had some health issues that the foster brushed off as "but they're minor" when as someone vet-adjacent, I knew that they were not minor at all and would be $$$ to deal with). I hope that cat found a good, quiet home, but I felt so sorry for her. I went through the RSPCA and got Rogue and it worked out a lot better.
It's important to match the animal to the environment to maximise their wellbeing, and sometimes it works out that what you thought would work didn't, and in that case, the ethical thing is to find an environment that works for the animal. You need to prioritise the welfare of the animal, full stop.
hi! can i ask what's ur opinion on giving pets away? not necessarily because u can't afford to care for em anymore but maybe incompatibility of personalities or maybe lifestyles. is it wrong to give ur pet for adoption if u know someone who's better suited for keeping a pet, like emotionally?
This is going to be controversial, but I support making that choice.
There’s a lot of rhetoric lately around how it’s evil and unethical to rehome your pet if you don’t “need to.” And what that does is prioritize human ideology over the actual animal’s well-being.
Pets that aren’t a good match for your home or pets that aren’t really wanted anymore frequently have lower welfare! When caring for an animal becomes a burden or is forced, people end up resenting them, and that means the animal often doesn’t get all of its needs fulfilled. Even if you’re still feeding it and providing appropriate vet care, how likely are you to provide affection or enrichment to an animal you’re tired of being stuck with?
Lifestyle and personality really matter to making sure a pet is a good fit for a home. A dog that alert-barks at every leaf that moves is probably a bad fit for someone who has a chronic migraine syndrome, and they might not know that until the dog has been in the home for weeks and started to open up. A really feisty kitten that requires a ton of play might not do best in the home of someone older who wanted a quiet lap cat. And while you can you do your best to plan to find a compatible animal, you won’t always know ahead of time what issues might arise.
“Forever home” rhetoric is really, really popular and I think it’s very unfair to the animals it is supposed to support. It started with the backlash of seeing animals abandoned inappropriately, and has been heavily reinforced in the public mind because it’s so frequently used to drive fundraising and support for legislation. The whole “forever home” concept communicates to people that getting an animal is an immutable commitment and that if you can’t keep an animal, it is a personal moral failing. It frames human priorities (we think people who get rid of animals are Evil and Bad and should be shunned) as more important than actual welfare needs for individual animals (are they getting the care they need where they are).
Obviously, I don’t support people dumping animals or just getting fad pets they’ll discard immediately, but there’s so many alternate situations that can arise. Even if it’s just “they got a pet and didn’t know what caring for it would take and didn’t want to care for it so they brought it back, how awful” like… okay, I’d like the person to have done more research before they got a pet, but isn’t it better that the animal now has a second chance to go to better home? Knowing what a commitment requires theoretically can be very different than having to actually follow through regularly, and I’d rather see someone maturely acknowledge that having an animal isn’t a good fit than keep it anyway!!
If animals being happy and with all their biological, veterinary, and social needs fulfilled is actually the goal, we need to prioritize their welfare over human opinion. I’d much rather see an animal rehomed responsibly to somewhere it will thrive and be welcomed than see people keep animals they can’t/don’t want to care for out of guilt or shame.
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helloo there!!♡, I really love the way you write. I'm wondering what it would be like if sae,rin,kaiser, have a gf who is a cosplayer, tyy♡!
Hiii dear!! Have a nice read and thank youuu^^
Rin Itoshi
Rin had come home early from practice. As soon as he opened the door he heard strange noises coming from the living room. When he walked in he found you sitting on the floor trying to shape a large piece of cardboard. The room was a mess with hot glue guns paints fabric scraps and oddly shaped foam pieces scattered everywhere
“What are you doing?” Rin asked with a curious expression. You looked up at him. With a smudge of paint on your face and messy hair you smiled brightly. “I’m working on a new cosplay. This is going to be a piece of armor” you said holding up the cardboard. Rin raised an eyebrow. “Armor? That thing needs a lot of work before it even looks like armor.”
“Don’t tease me!” you retorted. “This is just the base layer. It still needs painting hardening and detailing. Rin chuckled. “Alright alright. But why does the entire house look like a battlefield? Do you even know what you’re doing?”
Though you looked a bit offended you could tell Rin was getting interested. “I watched some YouTube videos and read a few guides. It’s a bit challenging but I’m learning. Plus it’s fun”
Rin sat down next to you and picked up the piece of cardboard you were working on. “If you’re going to put in this much effort at least do it properly. You need to cut this cleanly with a craft knife” he said grabbing a knife and showing you how to do it
After that day Rin couldn’t help but get involved in your project. Sometimes he’d point out mistakes saying “You’re doing it wrong” and other times he’d grab a paintbrush to help you add finishing touches
When the cosplay was finally ready you put it on and showed Rin the completed look. As you posed excitedly you noticed the surprised look on his face. “Alright” he said after a moment “I thought it was silly at first but… it actually looks really good”
“Really?” you asked your eyes sparkling with hope. Rin shrugged. “Maybe. But after all that effort I guess I can’t say anything against it.” At the convention your armor caught everyone’s attention. People stopped you to take pictures and compliment your work. Rin stood a step behind you a small smile on his face keeping an eye on the crowd to make sure no one crossed any boundaries
Sae Itoshi
when you first mentioned your passion for cosplay he didn’t think much of it. “Cosplay? You mean dressing up as fictional characters?” he asked one day his tone calm but slightly curious “Exactly!” you replied with excitement. “It’s a lot more than just dressing up though. I design the outfits build props and sometimes even compete. It’s a hobby but it means a lot to me”
Sae gave a small nod. “If it’s important to you that’s fine. Just don’t expect me to dress up” You laughed at his response knowing it was his way of acknowledging your interests without diving too deeply
A few weeks later you were preparing for a convention. Your living room was a workshop with fabric glue guns and foam scattered everywhere. Sae walked in and paused his sharp gaze taking in the scene “You’ve been at this for hours” he commented setting his bag down
“Yup” you said not even looking up from the detailed painting you were doing on a prop. “The convention is in two days and I want this to be perfect” Sae sighed softly walking closer. “Does it really need to be this detailed? No one’s going to notice if it’s off by a little”
You shot him a playful glare. “Oh they’ll notice. Trust me cosplayers have an eye for detail” He didn’t reply but leaned down to pick up one of the finished pieces. “It’s impressive” he admitted after a moment. “I didn’t realize you made all of this yourself”
The day of the convention Sae offered to drive you there. As you stepped out of the car in your fully completed costume he couldn’t help but let his eyes linger for a moment. You looked stunning the outfit perfectly capturing the character you were portraying “You’re really into this aren’t you?” he said his voice softer than usual “I am” you replied with a bright smile. “And I love it”
At the convention Sae stayed in the background watching as people approached you for photos and compliments. He observed the way your face lit up every time someone admired your work. Despite his usual stoic demeanor he felt a subtle sense of pride
Later as you both sat down to eat he spoke up. “You’re talented. I don’t think I could have the patience to do something like that” You grinned. “Coming from you that’s a big compliment.” Sae smirked faintly. “Don’t let it go to your head”
Kaiser Michael
“You dress up as fictional characters and make all this stuff yourself?” he asked, spinning one of your half-finished props in his hand like it was a trophy.“Yes, Michael” you replied, rolling your eyes at his tone. “It’s not just dressing up. It’s crafting, designing, and bringing something I love to life. And no, you can’t break that it took hours to make”
Kaiser smirked and placed the prop back carefully. “Relax. I’m just admiring your… creativity” A few days later, he strolled into the room while you were sewing fabric for your next costume. His golden hair was slightly tousled, and he leaned casually against the doorway, watching you work. “So, when’s this big event of yours?”
“This weekend” you answered, not looking up from your work “Perfect. I’ll clear my schedule” he said with a grin. You looked up at him, surprised. “You’re coming?”
“Of course” he said as if it were obvious. “I have to see how good you are at this. Besides, you’ll need someone to make sure your fans don’t get too close”
The day of the convention, Kaiser arrived in style, dressed impeccably as always. When he saw you in your finished cosplay, his usual cocky smirk shifted into something softer. “I’ll admit” he said, circling you like a critic. “You look incredible. Almost as good as me” “Almost?” you teased, raising an eyebrow “Fine” he said with a mock dramatic sigh. “You look better than me for now”
At the convention, Kaiser stayed by your side, his presence impossible to ignore. People stared as much at him as they did at you, but he didn’t seem to mind. Whenever someone asked for a photo with you, he’d step aside, arms crossed, observing like he was the one managing your image
“You know” he whispered at one point as you posed for a group shot. “You should’ve told me earlier. I’d have joined you in costume. Imagine us as a power duo unstoppable” You laughed, shaking your head. “This is my thing, Michael. You already have football”
“But you’re my girlfriend” he said with a wink. “That makes everything you do my thing too” By the end of the day, you were exhausted but happy. Kaiser drove you home, still talking about how “you stole the show” and how “everyone was lucky to witness your brilliance”
Enjoy!
#bluelock x you#blue lock x female reader#blue lock x y/n#blue lock rin itoshi#bluelock x reader#blue lock x reader#blue lock#bllk x reader#rin itoshi x y/n#rin itoshi x you#itoshi rin x reader#rin itoshi x reader#itoshi sae x reader#rin itoshi#sae x reader#sae itoshi#sae itoshi x reader#itoshi sae#itoshi sae x you#micheal kaiser x reader#micheal kaiser#bllk kaiser#kaiser x reader#michael kaiser#blue lock kaiser#kaiser x you#michael kaiser x reader#michael kaiser x you#bllk sae#bllk rin
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Shut it Down
Warnings: Smut, Fluff
Word Count: 2.8k
MDNI!
A/N: Merry Christmas y'all.
The sun was shining down in Imani’s face. She had to tear herself away from Terry this morning. Her sister Maya wanted to have breakfast with her to check in. “So now that he’s home how is he?” She asks. Imani sighs. She had to be careful of how she answered the next question. Even though Terry loved her family like his own, he still didn’t want to show weakness.
Imani sipped her coffee as her sister, Maya, watched her curiously from across the diner booth. They had always been close, and Maya could read her like a book. Setting her mug down, Imani took a moment to gather her thoughts before answering.
"He’s... adjusting," Imani replied softly. "It’s been tough for him. Losing Mike, the stress of everything back in Shelby Springs... it’s a lot to process."
Maya nodded, her brow furrowing with concern. "That man has been through hell and back, hasn’t he?" she said. "But what about you? You okay? I know you’re strong, but you can’t pour from an empty cup, sis."
Imani smiled faintly at her sister's words. "I’m okay," she said, though the truth was more complicated. "I just want to be there for him, you know? He’s carrying so much, and I can see it weighing on him. Some days he’s better, but others... it’s like he’s still fighting a battle, just in his head now."
Maya reached across the table and placed her hand over Imani’s. "You’re doing more than enough, Imani. He’s lucky to have you. But make sure he knows it’s okay to lean on you, really lean on you. Sometimes men like him think they have to bear it all alone."
Imani nodded. "I try to remind him of that every day," she said. "Last night, he... he let me in a little more. It’s progress, I guess. I just want him to see that he’s not alone anymore."
Maya leaned back, studying her sister. "You love him, don’t you?"
"With everything in me," Imani said without hesitation.
Maya smiled. "Then he’s got a fighting chance. But don’t forget—taking care of yourself is part of taking care of him. Don’t lose sight of that."
Imani gave her sister a grateful look, appreciating the reminder. "I won’t," she promised. "Thanks, Maya."
"Anytime," Maya said with a wink. "Now, tell me more about this roast beef dinner you made last night. I’m starting to think you’re spoiling that man."
Imani chuckled. "I might be. But he deserves it."
They spent the rest of breakfast laughing and catching up, Imani feeling lighter after the conversation. She had her sister's support, and that meant everything.She smirks. “Now. How’s the sex?” She asks. Imani nearly choked on her coffee, her eyes widening as she looked at Maya. "Really? That’s what you’re asking me right now?" she said, trying to keep her voice down.
Maya raised an eyebrow, unbothered by Imani’s reaction. "Of course, I’m asking. You’ve been glowing lately, so either it’s the sex, or you’ve found a new skincare routine, and I know you too well to believe the latter."
Imani rolled her eyes but couldn’t stop the small smile from tugging at her lips. "It’s… amazing, as always," she admitted, her voice dropping slightly. "He’s just... so attentive. Like, he takes his time, you know? Makes sure I’m good before anything else."
Maya leaned in, her interest clearly piqued. "Girl, go on. Don’t leave me hanging."
Imani laughed softly, shaking her head. "Let’s just say he knows exactly what I need, even when I don’t say it. And he’s so... gentle with me, but not too gentle, if you know what I mean."
Maya grinned mischievously. "Oh, I know what you mean. Big, strong, marine boyfriend who’s soft for you but can turn it up when needed? Imani, you’re living the dream."
Imani blushed but couldn’t help laughing. "Okay, enough about my sex life. How’s yours?"
Maya waved her hand dismissively. "Nonexistent at the moment, but that’s fine. I’m focused on me right now. But seriously, I’m happy for you. It sounds like Terry really sees you and loves you the way you deserve."
Imani nodded, her expression softening. "He does. And I don’t take that for granted, not for a second."
Maya raised her coffee mug in a toast. "To men who love us right and know how to handle business."
Imani laughed, clinking her mug against her sister’s. "I’ll drink to that.” Maya turns her head to glance out the window. She sees a black GMC Dua..ley pull into the parking lot. “Who’s that?” she asks.
Imani turned to look where Maya was pointing and spotted the large GMC Dually parked a few spaces away. The truck was pristine, its black paint gleaming under the morning sun, with chrome accents that looked freshly polished. It stood out among the sedans and SUVs in the lot.
Imani raised an eyebrow, recognizing it immediately. "That’s Terry’s truck."
Maya’s eyes widened as she leaned closer to the window. "Wait, he followed you here? What is he, your bodyguard now?"
Imani couldn’t help but chuckle. "No, he probably just wanted to check in on me. You know how he is."
Maya smirked. "Yeah, overprotective and a little territorial. But honestly, can you blame him? Look at you."
Imani rolled her eyes but smiled, gathering her things. "Come on, let’s go say hi before he thinks I’m avoiding him."
As they stepped outside, Terry climbed out of the truck, his towering frame and confident stride impossible to miss. He wore a simple fitted T-shirt and jeans, but the way he carried himself made him look effortlessly commanding.
"Hey, babe," Imani called, walking up to him. "What are you doing here?"
Terry flashed her a small smile, his eyes softening when they met hers. "Just wanted to see you. Figured you might want to grab lunch after you’re done with your sister."
Maya crossed her arms, looking between them with a teasing grin. "You’re setting the bar way too high for the rest of us, Terry. Showing up unannounced just to take her to lunch?"
Terry shrugged, his smile turning a bit sheepish. "What can I say? I like spending time with her."
Imani shook her head, trying to hide her amusement. "Well, since you’re here, why don’t you come sit with us for a bit?"
Terry glanced at Maya, who raised her hands in mock surrender. "Don’t worry, big guy. I’ll keep the embarrassing sister stories to a minimum."
He chuckled, holding the door open for both women. "Appreciate that."
Maya smirks and quickly asks him. “So tell me Mr Marine. What kind of sex spell you got on my little sister.” She says
Terry paused mid-step, his brow arching as a slow smirk spread across his face. "Excuse me?" he asked, his deep voice laced with amusement. He glanced at Imani, who was already groaning in embarrassment, her hand covering her face.
"Maya!" Imani hissed, shooting her sister a glare.
"What?" Maya said innocently, shrugging as she took her seat. "I’m just saying. She’s been glowing since y’all got together, and I’m convinced it’s not just the happy weight."
Terry chuckled, taking the chair beside Imani and resting an arm casually on the back of her seat. His eyes flicked to Maya with a mischievous gleam. "Let’s just say I aim to please," he said smoothly, his tone playful but carrying enough weight to make Maya blink in surprise.
Imani gasped, turning to him. "Terry!"
He laughed, leaning over to kiss her temple. "What? She asked."
Maya burst out laughing, clapping her hands. "Alright, I see you, Marine. No wonder she’s hooked."
Imani shook her head, trying to hide her smile. "You’re impossible, both of you."
Maya grinned, picking up her coffee. "Hey, I’m just trying to figure out why you’re so happy all the time. If it’s because of him, then props to you, Terry. You’re doing something right."
Terry shrugged, his expression softening as he looked at Imani. "She deserves to be happy. That’s all that matters to me."
Maya tilted her head, a rare seriousness settling in her tone. "Well, as long as you keep that mindset, we’re good. I’m just looking out for my baby sister."
Terry nodded, his voice steady. "I wouldn’t expect anything less."
Imani glanced between the two, her heart full as she reached for Terry’s hand under the table, giving it a squeeze.
When she gets in his truck she rests her head on the glass. Everytime he drives his hand rests on her thigh.
As Terry drove, the hum of the engine and the subtle rhythm of the tires on the pavement filled the quiet between them. Imani leaned her head against the cool window, her thoughts wandering as the scenery blurred past. The warmth of Terry’s hand resting on her thigh was a steadying comfort, grounding her in the moment.
It was a small gesture, but it spoke volumes about their bond. His thumb moved in absentminded circles, a habit he had whenever his hand found its home there. She glanced down at it and smiled softly, her fingers drifting to rest lightly over his.
"You okay, baby?" he asked, his deep voice breaking the silence.
She turned her head slightly to look at him, the way his strong hands gripped the wheel and how his eyes flicked between her and the road. "I’m okay," she replied, her voice gentle. "Just thinking."
Terry gave her thigh a small squeeze, his way of saying he was there for her without needing words. "About what?"
"About how much I love this," she said softly, her eyes meeting his for a brief second before returning to the passing view outside.
"This?" he asked, his brow arching slightly.
"This," she repeated, covering his hand with hers. "The little things. You driving us, your hand here...it’s just us. I love it."
Terry smiled, his expression softening as he gave her thigh another squeeze. "I love it too," he said simply.
And with that, they fell back into a comfortable silence, letting the unspoken connection between them speak louder than words ever could.
He pulls over. She lifts her head up confused. Terry eased the truck onto the shoulder of the quiet road, the hum of the engine settling into a low idle. He turned to her, a playful grin tugging at the corners of his lips. "Let’s play 'wandering hand,'" he said, his voice deep and teasing, the hint of mischief in his eyes unmistakable.
Imani couldn't help but roll her eyes, though a soft laugh escaped her. "Terry," she said, her tone half-amused, half-scolding.
"What?" he replied, feigning innocence as his free hand left the steering wheel and settled on her knee. "You know the rules."
His fingers began their slow, deliberate journey, trailing up her thigh in featherlight strokes that sent a shiver through her. Imani pressed her lips together, trying to maintain composure, but the way his touch lingered just enough to tease made her heart race.
"You’re impossible," she muttered, though there was no real annoyance in her voice.
"And you love it," he shot back, his grin widening as his hand slipped just beneath the hem of her skirt.
Imani reached out, placing her hand over his to halt his progress, though the sparkle in her eyes betrayed her resolve. "You’re going to get us caught, Terry."
"We’re parked," he said, leaning closer, his voice dropping to a low murmur that sent heat spiraling through her. "And it’s not like anyone’s around."
She bit her lip, trying to resist the pull of his charm, but when his lips brushed against her neck and his hand resumed its exploration, resistance became futile. "You’re lucky I love you," she whispered, her voice shaky as she gave in to the moment.
His soft chuckle against her skin was his only reply as the game of "wandering hand" took on a life of its own, the world outside the truck fading into the background.
Terry’s hand paused at the waistband of her panties, his fingers teasingly slipping just beneath the fabric. His breath was warm against her ear as he murmured, “You gonna let me keep going, baby?”
Imani’s breath hitched, her body responding before her mind could form words. She glanced at him, her gaze caught in the intensity of his eyes. “Terry...” she began, her voice soft, laced with a mix of hesitation and desire.
His thumb stroked the delicate skin of her hip, his lips brushing against the corner of her mouth. “Say the word, and I’ll stop,” he said, his voice calm but thick with want. “But if you want me to keep going... I need to hear you say it.”
Her heartbeat thundered in her chest as she let out a shaky exhale. The heat of his hand, the gentle yet deliberate pressure of his touch, sent sparks skittering through her. “Don’t stop,” she whispered, her words barely audible, but they carried all the permission he needed.
Terry leaned in, capturing her lips with his as his hand slid lower, exploring her with the same care and attention that always left her breathless. The world outside the truck was forgotten entirely as they lost themselves in each other, the quiet intimacy between them deepening with every touch and kiss.
When they finally pulled apart, both breathless and tangled in the charged energy of the moment, Terry rested his forehead against hers. “You drive me crazy, you know that?” he whispered, his voice low and full of emotion.
Imani smiled, her cheeks flushed. “Right back at you,” she replied softly, her hands resting on his shoulders as the truck’s engine purred quietly in the background.
“Now I’m turned on and we’re no where near home.” She says.
Terry smirked, his eyes darkening with mischief. “Who said we need to be home for me to take care of you?” he teased, his voice low and smooth, sending a shiver down her spine.
Imani raised an eyebrow at him, a playful smile tugging at her lips. “Oh, so you’re bold now, huh?”
He chuckled, leaning in closer so his lips brushed against her ear. “I’ve always been bold, baby. You just bring it out of me.”
Her cheeks flushed as she swatted at his chest. “Terry, you’re impossible.”
He grinned, his hand still resting possessively on her thigh. “Only for you.”
His hand moved up her thigh as they drove down the road. His thumb doing lazy circles on her exposed skin.
As Terry’s hand moved higher up her thigh, Imani let out a soft breath, feeling the warmth of his touch spread through her. She glanced over at him, catching the glint of mischief in his eyes as his thumb traced slow, deliberate circles. Her heart raced a little, the anticipation of their playful energy making her pulse quicken.
That’s when she couldn’t take it anymore. Not the first time and won’t be the last time they had car sex. In her head she thanks him for the dark tint on the windows. Imani maneuvers herself over the console. She straddles him. “You know I hate car sex.” She says.
Terry chuckles softly, his hands resting on her hips as she straddles him. “You always say that, but then you seem to enjoy it once we get started.” He smirks, his lips brushing against her ear as he speaks.
Imani laughs quietly, leaning in closer. “It’s the lack of space. I like to take my time,” she responds, her hands sliding up his chest as she finds comfort in the familiar closeness of his body.
He presses his forehead to hers, his voice turning playful but with a touch of sincerity. “If you don’t like it, we can always find somewhere else next time.”
She smiles, feeling the warmth of his embrace. "Next time,” she repeats softly, her fingers trailing down his chest, slowly teasing. “But for now...” she leans in, kissing him deeply as her body melts into his.
Terry, ever responsive to her, deepens the kiss, his hands moving to the small of her back to pull her even closer. As the moment lingers, they forget about the cramped space, lost in the connection they share.
“Now. Let me hear you moan for me real fast.” He says. She moans as his hands reach their destination. One thing that always made sure that made him on rock hard was her moans. In the next breath, “Now. Tell me you love me.” He says.
-
As they arrived at their destination, Imani instinctively reached for Terry's hand, intertwining her fingers with his. She gave it a gentle squeeze, glancing up at him with a soft smile.
“You ready?” she asked, her voice filled with warmth and reassurance.
Terry nodded, his grip on her hand firm yet tender. “As long as you’re with me, I’m ready for anything,” he replied, his tone carrying the weight of his sincerity.
Tags 🏷️
@nahimjustfeelingit-writes @avoidthings @nayaesworld @haechvn @writingsbytee @grlsbstshot @haechvn @ovohanna24 @skvrpion @megamindsecretlair @kimuzostar @notpradagurl7 @kenshisluvrgirl @planetblaque
#terry richmond smut#terry richmond x black oc#aaron pierre#terry richmond#terry richmond x oc#aaron pierre smut#Spotify
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I REALLY need to stop drawing for now because doing so is inconvenient and uncomfortable but I really wanted to get some stuff out for this AU because I have MANY ideas for it- So!!!!! Here's my take on an ISAT roleswap!!
This is Time Spent Among Stars (TSAS)! I've been brainstorming a lot for it during the past couple of days. If you know me, you know how I go about swap AU's. I try to make things as logical and faithful to both the characters and the universe and the original story as a whole.
When it comes to a roleswap for ISAT, I find it to be a very particular task. This is because ISAT happens for very specific reasons that all stem from Siffrin and the current circumstances he's in. So, go for a roleswap where the circumstances are a bit different. But I also don't want to retread on the story ISAT already told. By that I mean, for example, Twinkle is NOT Bonnie. I wonder who they could be? Alongside this is the fact that is not neccessarily a story about Bonnie needing to learn to talk about feelings or whatever with the fact that they want to stay with the party longer. That is NOT their issue to tackle, that is Siffrin's.
There's also the whole star theme. I always kind of dislike when swap AU's still include star theming and a star Loop equivalent because stars are SIFFRIN'S THING. Now you may be confused. because. hey Sock. you did that with this AU? YES. YES I DID. BUT I FOUND A WAY TO STILL CONNECT IT BACK TO BONNIE REASONABLY AND GAVE THIS AU A REASON TO STILL HAVE ITS CONNECTION TO STARS AND THE COUNTRY AND WHATNOT. GUYS I GOT IT UNDER CONTROL. AND THERE IS A REASON TWINKLE IS A STAR CHARACTER.
That's not enough preamble though- I'll put this under the cut, here's my more specific thoughts on some things and the swaps!
Bonnie is the Traveler (The Runaway)
A little kid living on the streets of Bambouche. They had washed up on shore in another town where they were tossed around foster families. They eventually ran away as none of these homes felt like theirs. They didn’t have many memories and didn’t want their memories to be with these people. Similarly to canon, after Bambouche was frozen by the curse, Bonnie ran and ran and ran from the town to the brink of exhaustion before being found by the party. When Bonnie was younger, Petronille ran away from home with them. They came from an abusive home. The night was stormy and yet Nille decided to escape by boat. They got close to country which was actively being forgotten. Nille fell from the boat, injured, but young Bonnie was fine and their boat wasn’t close enough to join. They would float back to Vaugarde with tampered memories.
Isabeau is the Housemaiden (The Missionary)
When he first went to his local House of Change, he was so inspired and interested in it all that he decided to stay and join the House. He does a lot of mission work, going around Vaugarde to teach the Change belief and whatnot.
Mirabelle is the Fighter (The Warrior)
She felt betrayed and confused and broken after Euphrasie betrayed everyone and did this to Vaugarde. She questioned everything. But she knew there was no time for that. She had to save her country. She felt obligated. She was still blessed by Euphrasie, an action done in the hope that Mirabelle would stay with her and watch the worlds perfection be frozen in time. She reufsed. She became more of a fighter after leaving on her journey, growing much more stressed and a little more on edge. She often doesn’t know her strength.
Siffrin is the Researcher (The Archivist)
He made a different choice. Instead of letting their hazy baggage hold them back, they wanted answers. If they could never fit in here, he would figure out where he came from and why. He’s spent much of his new life in Vaugarde researching both Vaugarde itself and the mysterious tale of the country he believes they come from. They’re a little quieter and more stern and factual here, but they’re still loveable punny Sif.
Odile is the Chef (The Kid)
A talented chef who takes “too many cooks in the kitchen” to heart and often flew solo. Here she’s more interested in the recipes and food culture of Vaugarde. Instead of a familytale, she’s looking for something else- A book that is like a familytale but for family recipes. Recipes for meals or baked goods can tell you a lot about a family and their history. It’s unique to them. You can tell a lot from them by them if you know how to look. She never had these sorts of meals or recipe books back home. Not one genre of food she could resonate with personally because of her divide between Ka Bue and Vaugarde.
Euphrasie as the King (The Housemaiden}
Claude, her dearest, was killed in an accident regarding one of her creations. It broke her. It got Euphrasie rethinking everything. She didn’t want things to change anymore. She loved how things were. She didn’t want Mirabelle to change, she was happy. She didn’t want Rorey to change, he was doing so much better than when she first met him. She broke down. She wanted the entirety of Vaugarde to stay in this same peaceful happy moment. Not to mention now understanding the terror of the idea of losing her country like Rorey (The King) did.
A lot of other details are relatively the same because these are still the same characters, they’ve just gone through some different circumstances that put them in different roles. Mirabelle is still “the chosen one” and gathers the party. Isabeau is still second to be recruited. Siffrin still doesn’t talk about his feelings (but will have a friend quest where Bonnie helps them with that). Odile, like how she wouldn’t say what she was researching, now won’t tell them what kind of chef she is. Bonnie still isn’t allowed to fight. Etc etc etc.
A lot of these are still concepts and are subject to change but I would love to answer questions and doodle some more when I'm not tired LMAO. Merry Christmas Eve, may Time Spent Among Stars woe be upon ye!
#sock art#in stars and time#isat#isat au#in stars and time au#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#time spent among stars#tsas au#isat bonnie#isat odile#isat siffrin#isat mirabelle#isat isabeau#tsas twinkle#isat euphrasie
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In my own uncle related gifting story, for a good while he was essentially the only family I had although we weren't that close and I barely saw him growing up. But he checked in every now and then and we exchanged christmas gifts
Anyway he's very into music (an interest he knows we share) and still only listens to cd's, so I always made an effort to find him something new (to him) that I thought he'd really like, or maybe something rarer that he wouldn't have, and nailed it all but one time
Even had to get one sent from France one time, which was delayed and barely made it so I walked 3 miles late after work on xmas eve to quitely post it through his mail slot so he'd have it on time. So I was always a bit disappointed when every year without fail I got a generic set of pyjamas (I say generic, more like hideous - in garish colours and prints that anyone who's met me for 10 mins would know is the polar opposite of anything I'd ever wear)
Contrast this with last year when I got an unexpected gift from a coworker who I wasn't particularly close to, but I worked with a lot and got on well with - although we couldn't be more different (and would be the first to admit that they somehow exist in the world without noticing any bit of it, I say this with fondness)
Now I know they only did this bc they knew that I had nobody in my life and wouldn't otherwise have gotten anything. And my first thought was 'oh that's a really sweet gesture' but also 'yikes... I'm at pity gift from a coworker just out of their teens levels of pathetic'. Anyway though when I opened it, it was a whole bunch of just small even very generic things like chocolate bars, a candle etc. But it was all stuff very tailored to me and all things I specifically liked, and showed how much they'd really paid attention in our offhand conversations and interactions and I was honestly so touched it was possibly the most thoughtful gift I might have ever received?
I genuinely believe that when it comes to gift-giving, just saying what you want is cheating. Gifts are a way of communicating your ongoing awareness of a person---a good gift says ''I have been paying attention to you in a hundred moments, all the off-hours and sidelong comments, and this is what I learned," while a bad gift is "idk, I got you this, it was expensive."
#the day still sucked#but that thoughtfulness made me feel seen and appreciated more than when i had actual family (somewhat) around#nothing so nice this time but work has been so exhausting i'm just glad for the day off#(personal story time)
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watch me win
in which lando was paid to fake date y/n!
pairing: mean!lando x reader
tw: super mean/rude lando and ofc angst
day 2
lando's text with the bros
lando's text with the reader
Life is unpredictable, but for Lando Norris, there was always a backup plan. He didn’t need to waste time stressing over what could go wrong; his mind was always three steps ahead. Quick moves, sharp thinking—that’s how he kept control. So, when he asked her out for Saturday, it wasn’t because he liked her. Far from it. He didn’t even find her interesting enough to care. She wasn’t some elusive beauty that had him tongue-tied. No, Lando asked her out because he was helping a buddy out, someone too spineless to handle their own situation. She was a tool, a temporary convenience to get what he needed.
Right after their day 1 of meeting, Lando... Oh, Lando instantly knew the way she clung to every word he said, the desperate way she hung on to each fleeting moment of attention—Lando could practically see it. She was that type, the one who’d find validation in any scrap of it, always eager to be the center of someone’s universe. It wasn’t even a challenge; she was a walking cliché, all wide eyes and innocent smiles, pretending she was so much more than the attention-seeker she really was. And Lando? He was just playing along, a momentary distraction, a little fun to help out his friend.
Nothing personal.
She wasn’t anything special—just someone who’d fall for the smallest gestures, starved for a taste of something that made her feel wanted. Lando didn’t mind giving her that. He knew she'd eat it up, desperate for it, clinging to the idea that this meaningless gesture somehow meant something more.
And for day 2? Since he asked her out for Saturday, he’d get a brand new motorbike—a sleek, custom bike, the kind that screamed luxury and power. Because why not take advantage of the situation, turning a simple play into something even more valuable than her fleeting attention?
Saturday
lando's text with the reader
lando's text with the bros
lando's post on x/twitter
After the whole thing was over, Lando leaned back, a smirk tugging at his lips as he replayed the night in his head. Did he regret it? Not for a second. She missed her precious dinner party, but that wasn’t his problem. He couldn’t care less. Her disappointment was just a footnote in his evening, barely worth a second thought. What mattered was the new ride waiting for him—shiny, powerful, and all his. He’d played the game, entertained her for a bit, and now he had what he wanted.
He didn’t regret a thing. Not for a second.
--
a/n: Hey everyone! I’m sorry this chapter is shorter than usual – I’ve been super busy, but I hope you understand! I really enjoyed writing this part and I hope you did too. I hope you’re all having a wonderful holiday break! Please let me know what you think about this chapter – your feedback means a lot. Again, happy holidays, take care, and I’ll be back soon! xx
-essie the elf 🎄
taglist: @5sospenguinqueen @bluethperson @mayusaatma @mountvesuvu @styl1shl1v @hotgirlslikemax @creamsteam3 @kravitswhore @issi-loves-dynamic @llando4norris @sunlithearts @osclerc @hurtblossom @miiaex @somerandomf1fan @nataliambc @saachiep81 @ironmaiden1313 @s-awturn @c4tc0re @dannyleclerc @lexiecampos @loloekie @idontknowanythingsblog @grovelingmen @cchewhaz @linneaguriii
#watch me win#lando norris x you#mean!lando norris#f1 fiction#f1 x y/n#f1 x female reader#f1 twitter#f1 x reader#f1 x you#lando x y/n#lando x you#lando x reader#lando norris fanfic#lando norris#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x reader#ln4 imagine#ln4 fic#ln4 x y/n#lnfour#ln4#ln4 x reader#ln4 x you#f1 text posts#f1 texts#f1 smau#f1 fluff#F1 angst
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can i pretty please have the extended version of what happens in zaynes exclusive tutorial……. asking for a friend……..
ⁱ ᵃᵐ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠʳⁱᵉⁿᵈ….
𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐮𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐥
★ synopsis: an extended version of zaynes exclusive tutorial 5-star ;)
★ character: zayne
★ cw: first person pov, quickie SMUT!!!!, a lot of the dialogue is just taken from the card
★ word count: 3.5k
★ a/n: i literally have not wrote smut since i was at least 13...i lowkey blacked out writing this so if it sucks i'm so sorry. it was good practice though so ty for the request!
Internally, I was dreading this. As a Deepspace Hunter, low-key yet high end, relaxed events were not something I was accustomed to. While it was a nice change from the chaotic atmosphere of my own work, I couldn’t help but worry I may embarrass myself.
When Zayne first invited me, I was a bit surprised he’d ask me of all people. I was sure the man was convinced I’d, at some point during the night, make a fool of him and myself. Though I was pleased he thought of me, and honored to be chosen, it put the stakes of the night higher.
I tried to make myself as fancy as possible, without overdoing it, because I was convinced these people would know I was trying too hard. I mean, they were all top med school alumnus who probably made more in a day than I made in a year.
Walking in with Zayne, the club lighting was low with soft jazz playing in the background. I scanned the perimeter, and observed the people around. Nearly everyone had brought a companion, and I smirked to myself. Mentioning I could tell why he brought me along, I gestured for him to lean down to my level.
“Did you feel left out because everyone else brought someone? Is that why?”
Zayne looked back at me, “Yes. It’s why I invited you.”
“Lame… I thought you’d make up an excuse and deny it.
Bantering with him for a second, one of his classmates approached us. The two make small talk with each other, when the man finally introduces himself as Steven to me, reaching out for a handshake. Before I can even respond, Zayne quickly grabs my hand instead.
“Let’s find a place to sit down and talk.”
-
Sitting at the bar with Zayne and his classmates, I get to finally turn off my brain and just listen. All of them go on and boast about him, Steven particularly going on about his pool skills. Zayne sits comfortably with the attention, and it’s safe to assume he’s well accustomed to being the center of it all; though it didn’t last when I quickly caught his eye, as he gave me a helpless look.
“Do you want to go somewhere else?” He whispered to me, an edge to his voice that was practically begging me to get him out and away from these people.
Zayne grabs his drink, assuming I was going to agree, and I stop him. He gives me a confused look as I turn my body to fully face him. Deciding to have some fun, the drinks I’ve had giving me some liquid courage-
“I haven’t seen Dr. Zayne play pool either… Is he really that good?” I smiled at him.
He pauses, lips forming into a tight line, “Ah, so you’re ganging up on me.”
I was pushing the right buttons.
While another classmate comes up to Zayne, doting all over him like the others, as he goes on about “hands on learning” with him.
I smirk inwardly, taking a sip out of my wine glass. Oh yeah, I thought to myself, I’m gonna use that one.
After the man leaves, Zayne playfully pinches my ear, “I could see you eavesdropping from a mile away, did you find anything interesting?”
I looked up at him through my eyelashes, “I heard…” Pretending to think for a second, I looked around the room, then back at him, “you’re incredibly considerate to your juniors and are highly respected by everyone, Dr. Zayne”
He sighs, looking away, clearly unsatisfied with my answer. “I guess you can be nice…” I tapped his shoulder.
Zayne raises an eyebrow, “You guess? Do I not treat you well?”
Shrugging, I shake my head and raise my hands, feigning innocence, “It’s hard to say…” I take another sip out of my glass. “You never did any ‘hands-on’ learning with me.” Sticking out my lower lip in a pout, “And everyone says it’s an honor to be taught by you, sir…”
Putting down my wine glass, I sigh, “I wonder when I’ll get to experience it…”
“It seems you truly do want to learn about surgeries.” Zayne retorts.
“Who says it has to be for work?”
He looks at me, almost startled.
“Follow me.”
-
On the club's second floor, the billiard hall is tucked away, secret, and empty.
Perfect.
Walking forward, I circle around one of the pool tables.
“Why are we playing pool all of a sudden?” Zayne asks from behind me.
I flip my hair and look at him over my shoulder, “Because I wanna learn from you of course. Dr. Steven was praising your pool skills, but you’ve never mentioned them before.” I pushed my back to the table, leaning back on my hands.
Zayne walks up to me, “He was drunk and just rambling.”
“Oh? He said you were really good…” Cocking my head to the side to look at him, he stared back at me with intent, “Like a professional.”
“Maybe because a surgeon has steady hands.”
“Then-” I stood up straight again, crossing my arms and smiling sweetly, “it’d be nice if I could get some tips from you.”
“While I can’t give any tips per se, we can play.” He looks at me and smiles back, “If you want.”
Picking out two cue sticks, handing me the shorter one, he walks to one of the tables in the corner, “Have you played before?”
“Once or twice. People say I have potential,” Zayne raises a brow at my confidence, “but I ‘can play’.”
“Are you gonna be strict with me, sir?” I playfully swing around the cue stick. Zayne crosses his arms, leaning into me, “Strict teachers make outstanding students.” He states, “Let’s start.”
Gesturing for me to go, I lean over the table, feeling his eyes boring into me. I hold my breath as I hit the ball, the only sound in the room the echoes of the balls scattering.
Zayne chuckles under his breath, and I look back at him, “Did I do something wrong, sir?”
“You have more than enough strength. If you adjust your posture, you’ll see better results.”
“I need you to help me identify my weak spots via ‘hands-on learning’, sir.”
I watch as his facade begins to crumble a bit, before he quickly regains himself, “We’ll have to work on your posture then.”
Coming up next to me, I stand up straight as he leans down over the table, “Like this. Place your right foot back…” He strikes, graceful as ever. When I try, I look like a klutz.
Bent over the table, he comes up behind me. “Relax,” He whispers, “you’re too tense.” He places his hand on my back, and almost as a reflex to his touch, my waist immediately bends. “Now you’re too relaxed.” He clicks his tongue as I become jelly under his touch.
“Relax your left arm. Allow it to bend naturally.” His arm snakes up under mine, “Your head, right arm, and the cue stick should form a straight line.”
He places his hand softly on my cheek, shifting my head to the left, “How is it?”
“It,” I winced at the uncomfortable position, “hurts a little.”
I hear him smile, “That means it’s correct.”
Making a face, I try to give him my most pitiful look.
“You’re so harsh, sir.”
He grabs my chin, making me face the table again. The gesture makes me gasp.
“Don’t tilt your head.” Zayne remarks, “You messed up your posture again.”
“Is there an easier way? Like something I can do without much trouble?”
“Yes, but are you sure you want to do it?”
I groan, my body feeling stiff from holding this pose for so long, “Bring it on.”
I feel him shift from beside me, “Don’t move for now.”
Zayne comes up behind me, positioning himself where his chest is flush against my back. Reaching his arms around me, one of his hands comes up to grab mine. Lowering his head, I feel his breath on my neck as his lips settle next to my ear, “Your rhythm with the cue stick…isn’t quite there yet.” My eyelids flutter closed at his voice, “You need more hands-on training.”
He directs me carefully, “You should neither be too fast nor too hesitant.” His words sound distant as all I can focus on is the feeling of his body pressed against mine, as heat spreads in between my thighs.
My hand is enveloped in his, and the back and forth motion of the cue stick slows down, “Move the cue stick three or four times..” He instructs, everything about this feeling overwhelmingly provocative, “Stop at the point closest to the ball…”
“Did you get that?” He whispered, turning his head away from the pool table to face mine.
“Yeah…” Was all I could muster back.
Softly smirking, he turned back to follow my vision, “Keep your eyes on the ball, one…two…three…” I think I may actually combust if he keeps this up.
“Stop, and pull back the cue stick.”
He loosens his grip on me, “Snap out of it. Are you even listening to me?”
No, not really Zayne. I can really only focus on not grinding back into you right now.
“Ah yes,” I cough, “Pull back the stick…”
“Very good, just like that…” I bite back a whimper and the urge to rub my legs together at his praise, he knows good and well what he’s doing.
“Now…strike.”
I hit the ball, and when it goes in I snap out of whatever hypnotic haze I was in.
“It’s in!”
Zayne pulls back, and I stand up straight, placing my hands on my hips. “Did you see that? It was a great shot! I’m so cool…” Flipping my hair over my shoulder, I flash him a smile.
“I did.” He smiles warmly back, “You’re not a total beginner.”
“Maybe it’s because I practice shooting all the time. Or, it’s possible I’m a prodigy…” I started regaining my confidence after it had ever so slowly faltered on the pool table.
“Perhaps.” Zayne shrugs, “To be honest, all you need to be good at pool is…”
He leans over the edge of the table, looking over at me. My breath hitches at the sight.
“A steady hand, precision, and a calm attitude.” His eyes bore into mine, “Once you’ve locked into your target, don’t let go.”
I swallowed. Even though he was clearly talking about the ball, it felt oddly personal.
He has me play a bit more, teaching me as I go. I easily earn his praises and they ring like music in my ears.
“If a student does a good job,” I remind him, “shouldn’t they get a reward?”
He considers it for a second, “What do you want?”
Confidence bubbling up again inside of me, I sigh dramatically. “Well, it might be difficult to hit this next ball. Help me.”
“Is that all?” Zayne asks, clearly not convinced. Pausing before coming to help me, I give him a smug look, “What’s wrong Dr. Zayne? Are you scared?”
I was pushing my luck, and loving every second of it.
He frowned, “Provocation doesn’t work on me.”
“Then come here.” I nodded toward the pool table, giving him a sweet smile.
Zayne inches towards me, only moving slightly closer.
“Closer.” I demand, “Or else I can’t reach it.”
He gives me a confused look, “What exactly…”
I grab him by the collar, pushing him back onto the table. Zaynes cheeks turn pink as he stares up at me with a shocked expression. Lips slightly agape, I can see a million thoughts running behind his eyes. The dumbfounded look on his face makes me want to take him on the table right now.
“Look,” I pout, “the ball’s so far away. I think it’s time to use a cue rest.”
I tap the cue stick on each side of his head. Zayne narrows his eyes at me, “Using cue rests would be overkill.” He sits up, and I use the stick to slowly tug out his tie, “And this,” he glares, “is inappropriate.”
Though he feigns annoyance, the look in his eyes is a dead giveaway.
“But…” I pull the stick away leaning towards him, my breath dusting his ear, “I think you’re enjoying it…” He looks down and away at the table, clearly embarrassed, “I shouldn't have taught you so much” he mutters.
Running my fingers through his dark hair, I slowly tease my hand down his body, caressing his face, down to his chest, down to where I see where he’s aching for me to touch the most. I coo at him when I see the desperate look in his eyes, and quickly snap my hand away before I reach the bulge growing in his nice slacks.
Zaynes face is red hot as he sits up on the table enough that he’s eye level with me, “Who taught you to use your teacher as a cue rest…” he frowns.
“Well,” I place my hand on his chest over his heart, “this cue rests heartbeat is going to ruin my accuracy.” I tut.
“Is it my heartbeat affecting your accuracy, or yours?” His hand comes up to caress my cheek, “If you actually want to learn, I can show you another way…”
Zayne leans in, lips almost to mine before I grab his shoulder and push him back. He looks at me, wide eyed at the denial.
“Sir, this seems to be lacking professionalism.” Crossing my arms across my chest, his lips curve at my attempt to scold him.
“Weren’t you just using me as a cue rest?” He leans back in, “Talking about professionalism… is a bit too late.”
As he grabs me by my waist, I push him back onto the table again as a reply. The gesture only lasts a few seconds before Zayne smiles at me, quickly sitting up and using his hand around my waist to reverse us; flipping me onto my back and onto the table, he settled in between my legs. I squeak at the sudden change, as he now hovers over me, my head caged between his arms.
“Why don’t you let me show you…” Zayne pulls back, standing up straight. He grabs his cue stick, “Watch closely, I’m only going to do it once.”
Pushing his chest against mine, he goes for the ball right behind my head. His head hovers right above my face, and I lean up to place a kiss on his adams apple right as he strikes the ball. I have half a mind to bite into his neck, but he quickly stands back up as he watches the ball go in.
He looks down at me, and I’m sure I look utterly disheveled. From where he stood in between my thighs, my dress had ridden up high enough that every inch of my bottom half was almost on display for him to see. My hair was splayed out around me on the table, and my chest heaved with the breath I was so desperately trying to catch.
The sexual tension that had slowly built up throughout the night was now thick enough to cut with a knife. Smiling softly, Zayne tilts my chin up, caressing my jaw as his thumb slowly parted my lips, dipping it past my teeth and pressing it against my tongue. “Pretty little mouth…” he mutters, staring at the way his finger sits in between my lips. I look up at him through half-lidded eyes, sucking down on his thumb.
He frowns, “Always such a tease.” Zayne sighs, picking up my ankle, pressing a kiss to it. I craved his lips on mine, but I always enjoyed the shows he’d put on for me. He continued to kiss up my calf, closing his eyes as he felt my skin against his lips.
“Zayne.” I demanded, and he looked at me annoyed, as if I was interrupting something.
“Yes?”
“Kiss me…”
He leaned down, nose brushing against mine, but not meeting my lips. I pushed myself up, trying to connect us, but he pulled away at the last second. Frustrated and tired of his games, I grabbed Zayne by his tie, crashing my lips against his, pulling him down on top of me onto the table.
“Behave.” He groaned as I took his bottom lip in my teeth, tugging softly. Grabbing my wrists with his hand, he pinned them above my head. Zayne’s free hand roamed up my thigh, fingers dusting over the place I was praying for him to touch the most.
I squirmed under him as he toyed with the lace on my panties, never dipping his fingers past. His grip on my wrists tightened, lips leaving mine so our eyes could meet. Waves of lust crashed in his green eyes.
“What do you want?” His lips kissed down my neck and chest.
“You to touch me.” I whimpered.
He tsked, “Beg.”
“I’m sorry?”
“You heard me. Or do I need to teach you how to do that too?” Zayne nipped at my collarbone, then kissed the skin.
“Please…”
“What was that?”
“Please, Zayne.” Everytime I said please, his fingers inched closer to the arousal pooling in between my thighs, “Zayne, please, please, fuck, please.”
I felt him smile against my skin, and he dipped a finger inside of me.
Clenching around him, I moaned at the satisfaction.
Zayne groaned, “God, you’re so wet. You’ve been eager all night…” Pumping in and out, I stifled my whimpers and moans against his shoulder. He let go of my wrists, and my hands flew to his collar, gripping for dear life as he added another finger.
Tracing his thumb on my clit, two fingers curling up inside of me, Zayne always knew just how to make me come undone. He could get off on this alone, watching me fall apart underneath him by just his hands. I was seeing stars, thinking nothing could get better than this.
Zayne pulled away, and I cried out at the emptiness. He stood there for a second, just taking all of me in, “You’re so beautiful.” He took off his tie, gently grabbing me by the back of my head and lifting it up so he could tie the fabric around my mouth as a makeshift gag.
“As much as I love to listen to you, I don’t want anybody else to hear. Is that all right?”
I nodded at him and he smiled, petting my cheek, “Good girl.”
Reaching forward, I palmed his hard on through his nice, business slacks. The idea of them being around his ankles as he takes me on this table was enough to almost make me cry from joy. Sighing at the friction, Zaynes eyes fluttered closed, and I worked my hand up and undid his belt. Getting too eager, he freed himself, and slid my panties down to where they loosely dangled off one of my heels.
“I wish I could take my time with you,” He pressed his tip against my opening, “but this will have to do.” Sinking all the way down to the hilt, I choked out a muffled scream, squeezing my eyes shut as the tie killed my lewd noises.
Zayne grabbed my chin, fingers digging into my skin, “Eyes open.” He demanded, pulling out, and slamming back in, “Keep looking.”
Already overwhelmed from the stimulation he provided earlier, tears welled up in my eyes from just how good all of it felt. The impossibly delicious way he could fill me up, lips dancing across my skin as he chased after his own pleasure. His hand gripping into my hips, most likely leaving bruises, as he drilled into me; kissing my palm before biting into the skin to muffle his own groans.
Zayne’s skin glistened with sweat, the top buttons of his shirt undone, his lips red and swollen from my aggressions. He railed into me like a maniac, like he was fucking starving. Gracefully, his hand found its way back in between my thighs, finding the bundle of pleasure that made me cry out. At the feeling I blinked out tears, my eyes burning from the mascara I was practically sobbing away. I was moments away from ruining this table beneath me, and Zayne knew that.
He grabbed my neck, almost as if for stability as he picked up his pace. Desperately rolling his hips against mine, I clenched down around him “Just.. like that, oh... God." He moaned. I lifted my hips up to meet his thrusts, trying to chase my own release and his. Zayne looked me in the eyes, squeezing the hand around my neck, “My girl. Mine.” He groaned.
With one last thrust and his praise, I was screaming behind the tie, shaking from my release beneath him. Digging my nails into his biceps, his hips stuttered, and with a moan he pulled out, finishing all over my nice dress.
Zayne nearly collapsed on top of me as we laid there for a while, just soaking in the aftermath. As he pulled away, I watched him cringe at the mess he had left on me. For some reason, I started laughing.
“What’s that for?” He questioned.
I continued to giggle, “I didn’t know you were that good at pool…”
“If we had more time, I’d show you more of my techniques…”
Slapping him on the shoulder, I sat up, and he swept me off the table and back onto my feet. Brushing my hair with his fingers, he attempted to wipe away the mascara stains on my cheeks. “I know the back way out of here,” He pressed a kiss to my temple.
(divider by cafekitsune)
#zayne x reader#zayne x you#zayne x y/n#love and deepspace zayne#zayne#l&ds zayne#lnds zayne#lads zayne#lads#lnds#lnds smut#lnds fluff#zayne love and deepspace#zayne smut#zayne fluff#zayne x mc#love and deep space
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I used to give the 'lazarus pit madness' trope for jason so much shit unless it was a REALLY good fic that did something interesting with the idea. But the more I read of pre52 red hood the more I'm just like "yeah no I have absolutely no idea how I'd reconcile all this heinous shit he's done without finding a way to make it not his fault actually"
I hate the 'jason was always a monster and bruce couldn't save him' nonsense so much, he was literally just a homeless little boy. MY BUDDY LITERALLY WILLINGLY WENT BACK TO BEING HOMELESS BECAUSE HE DIDN'T WANT TO HURT PEOPLE FOR MA GUNN EVEN THOUGH IT MEANT GIVING UP FOOD AND SHELTER AND DECENT TREATMENT
jason sweetheart I'm so sorry dc butchered you like this my god
When the characterization is so inconsistent the fandom has to resort to literal magic to explain it.
But seriously, I haven’t read a whole lot of Jason as Robin but from what I did read he was so tiny and just wanted to do good. It’s a disservice to every character involved for Bruce to adopt him because he thought he’d be a criminal otherwise. It implies Bruce thinks of every kid living in poverty as a shoe in for crime and not as some of the most vulnerable individuals in low SE areas. Which is just…so bad considering he’s 1) a rich white man stereotyping a large group of people and 2) someone that fights crime because of an act of violence commited in front of him as a little boy. A Batman that doesn’t believe in the goodness of a child (especially one like Jason who, like you said, gave up basic necessities for the sake of his morals) and protecting it in a way he wasn’t protected is a very very weird Batman to me. So it turns Bruce into a white knight and redhood into confirmation of Bruce’s stereotyping and paranoia.
If it was just Jason thinking that’s why Bruce took him in it would be a completely different animal. I might have even enjoyed reading about how Jason rationalized their changed relationship after he came back swinging (literally) and thinking that it’s some innate characteristic about him that drove the wedge between him and Bruce before he even realized it was there. But it’s very much not just Jason. EVERYONE. FUCKING. SAYS. IT. And tbh that kinda ruins everyone just a bit in my eyes. If not agreement and support for Bruce’s bs, they’re at least silently complicit in perpetuating it.
But beyond that, it also makes me think of Devin Grayson’s run where she kept talking about how dick was “meant for crime” or would have obviously been a criminal if it wasn’t for Bruce. This was built on frankly awful stereotypes regarding Romani people. I bring this one up because the combination of the two does not make Bruce look as good as the writers seemed to think.
But if we ignore the bs involved and take the reason for Jason’s adoption at face value, I think it offers an interesting comparison between him and Damian. Jason is presented a child destined for a life of crime who eventually became one of The Villains despite Batman’s efforts. Damian was an heir destined for crime who eventually became one of The Heroes because of Batman’s efforts. Idk it’s just interesting to me.
#I’ve thought about this too much#dc#ask#it’s not rly Jason becoming a villian that bothers me#a good kid can become a villain#that’s the whole tragedy of Jason Todd#and everyone has a choice#but rather its classist framing
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Oh thank you so much, friend!! And Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! I seem to be hearing that a lot on this story (that Omegaverse is typically not their vibe, but they're willing to dive into this one), and I'm honestly honored! 😂💜💜
I wrote this story back in September or so, but wanted to wait until December to release it because of the snowy mountain setting and the forced proximity vibes. I thought it would be really interesting with the Omegaverse world and the true mates aspect -- to see how long it takes before they "crack," so to speak. 😂😂
The Dean Sr. moment had me cracking up 😂 But honestly, I loved those small, personal moments they shared. The pacing is great too, getting bits and pieces at a time just makes me want more!
ahaha thank you!! I loved trying to figure out those small moments. 🥹 I feel like with these kinds of "snowed in" stories, it's all about the small moments and points of connection.
Side note: I loved the White Album conversation (I might have a slight Beatles obsession 😅). I’m dying to listen to that or Revolver with him now!!😭😭
Ooh yay!! A fellow Beatles fan! I absolutely love the Beatles -- Revolver is a great album! "Eleanor Rigby" is my favorite off that one. 🤍
This was such a well-written and atmospheric start. I can’t wait to dive into Part 2 soon! ❤️
Wow, thank you so very much!! I hope you enjoy the rest of the ride on Against the Wind. 💕
Against the Wind - Part 1
Pairing: Alpha!Dean Winchester x F. Omega!Reader
Summary: You wake up in a strange alpha’s cabin in the middle of a snowstorm, all with a busted ankle. He holds shadows in his eyes, even though his hands are gentle. There are iron shutters around his heart, even though he saved you. You might just save him in return.
AN: This is a canon ending-divergent AU, but still an Omegaverse story within the canon world. It also fulfills a bingo square for @jacklesversebingo!
Jacklesverse Bingo24 Prompt: True Mates
Song Inspo: “Against the Wind” by Bob Seger
Word Count: 5.5K
Tags/Warnings: A/B/O dynamics, scenting, injuries, hints of angst, fluff and feels.
Series Masterlist || Bingo Masterlist
Part 1: In His Hands
Your body is mostly numb when he pulls you out of the snow.
You utter a sharp cry when something in your side twinges, waking up your entire body like a white-hot shiv. Your ankle begins to throb as well.
“Hold on. I’ve got you.”
You only half hear the voice, a deep, coarse rumble. His form is broad and dark and blurry, but his male scent is the only thing you register with perfect clarity.
Alpha.
A small treble of alarm runs through you. It’s an instinct you’ve had to learn, as an omega traveling alone in rural Montana. However, something else disrupts that anxiety.
It’s his scent. His scent is like the crackle and smoke of a warm hearth.
Safe. Your body is heavy and stiff and doesn’t respond to your commands, and yet, you feel a measure of calm when he maneuvers you into his arms. It’s a baser instinct, rooted deep in your chest. He begins to carry you down the slope of the mountain, and your vision blurs white…
Like the flurry of snow falling heavy on his jacket.
You wake up freezing and shivering in pain. A sensation of small sharp needles begins to travel all across your skin. Slowly, as you're able to blink, your view of the dark wood cabin clears and focuses. You realize that you’re bundled in blankets, and laying on a chaise in front of a large fireplace. Still, you’re too cold. A keening whimper escapes you as you try to burrow in.
Alpha. Your body instinctively recognizes his presence, as he’s suddenly there, hovering close above you with a divot between his brows and a frown marring his face, where thick stubble threatens to become a beard. Stern, dark brows are furrowed over his concerned eyes. His plush frown is framed by a stubborn-looking chin. Your gaze wearily travels over his handsome features, his short brown hair, the flickers of firelight that splash across the side of his face.
He places a warm, calloused hand on your forehead, and he mutters a curse. Your body trembles further with cold. You part your lips, but you can't yet force your voice to escape them.
Again, he quite literally takes the problem into his own hands. He peels away the thick blankets just to slide himself in behind you. His arms wrap around your waist, and you feel their tempered strength when they cage you in against him. You manage to turn your head and rest your cheek against his chest, covered by red plaid. Thank you...
Almost on reflex, you breathe in his scent deeply. The earthiness of it calms you, warms you from the inside. Your shivering eventually calms and turns to purring in your chest.
“What’s your name, Omega?” he asks. His voice is deep and gruff, and it threatens to make you shiver for a different reason as the timbre of it washes over you.
It’s difficult, but you manage to speak, clearing past your parched throat to give him your name. He nods, as if rolling the sound of it back and forth across his mind.
“Was somebody out there with you?” he asks.
You shake your head, even though the thought elicits a painful twinge in your heart.
“Who…” you try to speak again, even though it hurts a little. “Who are you?”
You feel him take a deep breath. He hesitates, like he’s reluctant to give it to you.
“Dean,” he says.
You roll the name around in your head, over and over. Dean, Dean, Dean…
You smile slightly. “Yeah, makes sense.”
“What?” he says. You hear the raised brow in his tone.
“You sound like a Dean,” you say, perhaps a little delirious.
Anyway, that’s when your eyes close on you again. You fall back into the warm lull of sleep, to the sound of a crackling fire, and a feeling that permeates throughout your body.
Safe.
Can’t fucking believe this, Dean thinks, as he holds you. Just when he thought his life was done throwing him curveballs.
He tips his head back against the sofa cushion with a tired exhale. It would just be his luck to find a stray omega wandering his stretch of Big Sky. Montana can be gnarly in the winter, but for the past couple of years, Dean has learned to survive here in this rental cabin for a couple of months at a time, when wandering an empty bunker gets to be too much. At least here the quiet’s peaceful, if still a little unnerving sometimes.
He glances down at you. Now that you’re warm and sleeping again, he should find something to wrap your ankle and ice it down. It’s swollen, and he wants to take an inventory of your other injuries, so he can determine how to get you back down the mountain and through the woods, back to civilization.
The sooner he gets you medical attention and back to your life, the sooner he can get back to his—even though the thought of leaving you in anyone else’s hands almost stirs a growl in his throat.
And that last part unnerves him, makes him anxious. He begins to untangle himself from you, but his movements falter when your sweet scent filters through his nose again. Cinnamon apples, with a hint of something floral.
Fuck me.
It’s almost too sweet to be true, but Dean does his best to ignore it…and what that alluring sweetness probably means.
Dean leaves you in the morning to revisit the site where you fell. He digs through the snow and manages to find your backpack, filled with your clothes, supplies, and your phone and wallet. He returns just in time.
The falling snow becomes even more intense, until it becomes a quiet roar outside. You watch the snowstorm through the impact windows in the kitchen, and you know what this means. You’re snowed in with a stranger—an alpha, no less.
You also have a bum ankle, which he wrapped for you. Doesn’t feel broken, he’d said, but it could be fractured, or at the very least sprained. You also likely have a couple of cracked ribs.
“What were you doing out there, anyway?” he asks, while pouring himself a glass of whiskey. “This ain’t exactly hiking season.”
While you drink some hot chocolate he made you with a bit of whiskey splashed in (for extra warmth), you explain.
“Well, I guess it wasn’t my best idea in hindsight,” you say with a weak chuckle. “I was trying to find my way back, and I…well, I was a bit lost.”
He raises his brows wryly, still sipping.
“And to make a great situation even better, I thought I heard a wolf howl nearby,” you say. “I know most of them would rather run from us than attack us, but you can’t be sure, you know? I had my rifle on me, so I was turning around, trying to pinpoint what direction it was in…and of course, my foot slipped on something.”
You fell down that hill. You think you even hit a tree on the way down, which would explain your ribs. Everything gets a bit swirly, cold, and dark in your memory after that.
Dean shakes his head. “Gotta say, going out there alone wasn’t a great idea either, especially now. This time of year, there’s no telling when a blizzard like this is going to come through.”
He waves haphazardly toward the storm raging outside. Your gaze falls to the mug in your hands. You don’t really want to talk about your reasons for taking that risk, but maybe giving him a little honesty will get him off your back.
“My dad and I used to hike up here every year,” you confess. “A few months ago…I lost him. So I guess this was just something I needed to do.”
You blow on your hot chocolate before you take another sip. This time when you glance up, Dean’s judgy expression has evened out into something more sympathetic. He lowers his glass.
“Well, hate to break it to you, but there’s no cell service up here,” he says.
You give a humorless huff. “Believe me, I know.”
“Which means no one can come up here and get you,” he continues, “and even when this storm breaks, I can’t carry you all the way down the mountain back to civilization. Not with the snow as deep as it’s gonna get. Now…maybe I can go down by myself and bring help back with me.”
“But another storm could snow me in,” you realize, with growing apprehension at the thought.
Dean nods. “It’s either I take that chance, leave you by yourself. Or we wait for you to heal up.”
He leaves the choice up to you with a gesture of his hand, the one still wrapped around his glass. You weigh those options with a tilt of your head. On one hand, you don't want to impose on him longer than you had to, but on the other, you really don't want to be left alone in this cabin for God knows how long while he scales the mountain by himself, for your sake.
“I think it would be better if we go down together, right? It can be dangerous, even when the storm breaks,” you reply.
Dean nods slowly, like that was what he was going to suggest too. “All right. Well, until you’ve got two working legs, you’re stuck here with me.”
“I figured as much,” you say. Your head tilts as you consider him. He has a gruff exterior, but all his actions so far have been kind, and far more than you’d expect from a stranger. And an alpha at that.
Not to say that all alpha's are assholes, but you've had far too many experiences with the stereotype: arrogant, entitled, and handsy. Can't forget handsy.
“Thank you for saving me,” you say, meeting his gaze, “and for…well, being a decent guy.”
Dean’s lips twitch. He nearly chuckles. Instead, he sits back on his side of the couch.
“Yeah, well, there’s a spare room in this place for you, one bathroom. The kitchen is stocked. I’m a half-decent cook, if I say so myself, but help yourself.”
He gets up from the couch without preamble, to go to his room, you assume. It leaves you feeling at a loss, like he’s trying to get away from you. You know you’re a guest in his space, so you try to respect the way he wants to be alone for a while. He definitely gives off loner vibes.
You look around and find a collection of vinyl records, and smaller collection of books on a shelf next to the fireplace. You find Gulliver’s Travels, Dune, The Odyssey, The Wizard of Oz—books you didn’t think a guy like Dean would be into.
You take up The Wizard of Oz, reclaim your spot on the chaise, and start reading.
That night, your dreams are plagued by the crunch of dead leaves, your father shouting at you to run, and to keep running.
The coarse roar of a bear morphs into something other. It’s a sharper, whirring sound like wind howling amidst animalistic clicking, and then bones breaking—your father’s scream cut short.
You wake with a start, your body both cold and flush at the same time.
Dean is there once again. It confuses you at first, but then it all returns to you in a rush—the where and the why you’re here, once again with the alpha standing over you in concern. He grasps your shoulder and asks if you’re all right. Your breathing is too erratic for you to answer him, your eyes too wide, your body trembling.
Had you been making noise in your sleep? You blush in embarrassment at the thought. You also feel bad for waking him, and all those things get trapped in your throat.
Seeing that you’re most definitely not fine, he sits on the edge of the bed, squeezes your arm, and reminds you.
“It’s okay. You’re safe here,” he tells you. His tone is deep and even, reassuring.
You meet his steady gaze and manage to nod, trying to catch your breath.
“I’m okay,” you say, with a shaky nod. He gives you a measuring look, both a question and a confirmation. You give it to him with a firmer nod. “Thanks, I…I’m sorry I woke you up.”
He exhales through his nose, accepting. “‘S all right. Don’t worry about it.”
You feel the loss of his touch when his hand eventually slip away from your shoulder. As soon as he came into your room, he’s gone.
Dean leaves swiftly, trying to brush off how the scent of your fear had tugged sharply at his gut even in his sleep. It not only woke him up, but compelled him to kick his blankets off and get out of bed to go to you.
You were having a nightmare, reliving your fall, if he had to guess. You came out of it pretty quick when he carefully grabbed your shoulder. Every instinct in his body told him to gather you into his arms and cover you with his own scent and protective embrace to calm you down.
Through sheer willpower, he managed to ignore every single one of those instincts.
Two days pass, in which you and Dean say very little to one another, besides when he asks you what you want to eat, and how you’re feeling. The alpha seems genuine, but guarded any time you ask him about him; anything that’ll give you a clue into who this guy is, and why he’s here.
You try again to strike up some kind of conversation over dinner one night.
“Do you live here year-round?” you ask, around a mouthful of burger that’s absolutely delicious. He wasn’t lying when he claimed to be a good cook. He even made the fries himself.
“No,” he replies. “No Netflix, no internet? Think I’d die of boredom. I just come up here to uh…take a beat, I guess.”
You smile. “I don’t blame you. Sometimes you just need a break,” you say, even though your tone is heavier than you meant it to be. Your gaze, a bit distant in that moment, sharpens and focuses back on Dean. “Where are you from, then?”
“Kansas,” he offers.
“Oh really?” You brighten with that scrap of information. “My older sister lives in Topeka. She moved there for a job, initially, but then she met her guy. He’s some kind of day trader. Which is just code for sits on his ass playing Call of Duty while she busts hers.”
Dean huffs, then crams more burger into his mouth. He hasn’t been giving you a lot to go on while you two have been talking. Unfortunately, you have the tendency to ramble and fill the silence before it becomes even more stifled.
“She works at a bank. Smart, driven, always knows what she wants. Meanwhile, I’ve had about seven jobs in the last three years, none of which were even remotely related to my almost useless degree in Communications.”
“Yeah, doubt you need a degree in communicating,” Dean remarks, popping another fry into his mouth.
You purse your lips at him, but the glint of teasing in his eyes makes you fight not to smile.
“All right, smart guy. So, what about you?” you ask.
Predictably, the man’s walls firm back up. “What about me?”
“Well…why’re you up here alone? Do you have family?” you ask.
Dean quirks a half smile. “I’ve got a brother.”
“Okay. Younger, I’m guessing?”
He tilts his head at you, a bit amused at your guess. “Why’s that?”
“I don’t know,” you shrug. “I can’t imagine you with a brother who’s older than you.”
His lips twitch. “You callin’ me old, sweetheart?”
You begin to blush with embarrassment. But also, sweetheart?
You shake your head. “No, that’s not what I meant. I just mean like…”
Dean saves you with the return of his smile.
“Yeah, he’s younger,” he says. “But he’s the one with the quasi-wife and the apple pie life.”
“Quasi-wife?”
“They’re mated. Just haven’t gotten around to the whole getting hitched thing,” he explains. “But they’re happy. Dean Jr.’s growing up fast, already running full speed into glass doors.”
His smile is genuine when he talks about his brother, just tinged with a bit of melancholy, you think.
“Dean Jr.?” you ask in amusement. Dean Sr. laughs a little, and you enjoy the sound, the way it lightens up his face and pulls at the corners of his eyes.
“Yeah, can’t say I wasn’t surprised myself to get that honor, but…hey, it works for the kid. He’s got my chin,” he remarks.
He digs into his pocket to show you a picture from his cell phone. Even though it doesn’t have service, you can still view the many pictures of the adorable infant in his camera roll, courtesy of Sam and his mate, Eileen. You coo at the chubby cheeks, the bright little eyes, and the swirled tuft of dark hair on his head.
“Where do they live?” you ask.
“Out west, a stone’s throw from the City of Angels.” Dean’s smile dims. “He just had to go back to California.”
“What’s wrong with California?” you ask.
“It’s full of pretentious douchebags, that’s what,” he says, his voice a dry whip. “Waxed up to the fucking eyeballs, smelling like Botox, Adderall, and sweaty desperation.”
You splutter laughing so bad that your diet coke escapes you in a spit take. It partially goes up into your nose, burning, stinging your eyes, but it’s made worse by the way Dean waves a hand up incredulously. You’ve just gotten half his sleeve wet.
He meets your gaze, and you can’t help but laugh even harder.
“Wow,” he says.
“God, I’m sorry,” you say, still giggling. You get up, hobble over to the kitchen counter, and rip off a paper towel to try and pat his arm dry. He takes it from you and helps you back into your seat.
“I got it, Spit Take. Just finish your food,” he says, if with a dancing gleam in his eyes.
From then on, it becomes easier for you to pull the alpha into conversation. Besides reading, napping, and staring out the window while it snows, you don’t have much by way of entertainment. Not to mention the pain of trying to get around without crutches, as it also jostles your ribs. Dean often has to help you from one room to another, which of course, you get embarrassed by.
“I’m sorry!” you yelp, when he saves you from another crash landing in the hallway. You’re fresh out of a shower, and it had taken you twenty minutes just to figure out how to wash your hair on one leg, let alone dry yourself off and get your shirt and borrowed sweatpants on. The main problem in getting back to your room happened to be the pants themselves. Their length and bagginess made you slip.
At least Dean’s learned to ignore your apologies. He now holds you by the waist, having pulled you against his chest on reflex. With furrowed brows, he notices your pained hiss when you grab onto his arms for balance.
“You okay?” he asks with a note of alarm.
“Ribs,” you gasp. They’re throbbing sharply with his hold, especially after being rattled by the near fall.
He immediately adjusts his hold lower, holding your arm and hip to support you. His hands are strong, but gentle. The warmth and pressure of his touch rattles you more than almost falling into a heap. Cliché as it might be, your heart is beating faster, what seems like in and out of rhythm. A feeling you can’t name stirs and tugs at your lower belly when you hazard looking up into his eyes. They’re a nice shade of green, like a forest floor in the spring.
“You just go ass over tea kettle at any moment, huh?” he quips, his lips tugging upward. “Come on. Where were you headed?”
“To my room, wise guy,” you say wryly, even as your blush heats your face and neck. “But this is a great taxi service.”
He snorts. “Yeah, call it the Winchestermobile.”
“Winchester. That your last name? Like the rifle?” you ask, while he helps you carefully down the hall. He nods in confirmation.
“That’s interesting. You don’t meet many Winchesters,” you remark.
“Yeah, well, ain’t that many left,” he mutters.
“What?”
“Nothing,” he shakes his head, easing you down onto the edge of the bed. His hands go to his hips as he scrutinizes your form for further injury. “You good? I was about to get cracking on some lunch.”
You offer him a grateful smile. “Yeah, I’m good. What’s on the menu?”
“Nothing fancy. I’m thinking grilled cheese. Maybe some tomato soup, assuming I can find a can in the pantry,” he says.
“Honestly, that sounds awesome,” you say. “Haven’t had a grilled since…God, probably since I was a kid.”
At that, Dean smiles. “Well, I happen to make an awesome one. No less than three kinds of cheese.”
“If they’re as good as your burgers, then I don’t doubt it,” you reply. He seems pleased at that, and maybe a little bashful as his gaze falls away.
Cute, you think. Your smile grows.
“All right, well, stay tuned,” he says. He winks, tossing you a “gun for hand” gesture that makes you laugh. Dean wears a rugged exterior as easily as his winter jacket, but he’s also kind of a dork.
After lunch (delicious, as you predicted), you take the afternoon just to sort through Dean’s records and alphabetize them for him. You hunker down on the floor in front of the shelf, close to the record player.
“I don’t need all that. I know where all my stuff is…more or less,” he says, with a lazy wave of the beer he has in hand.
“Oh really?” you raise a brow. “Okay, let’s test that theory. Where’s Boston.”
“Right next to the White Album, there on the left.”
Sure enough, you find Boston, as well as the White Album by the Beatles.
“Oh my God, you actually have the White Album?” You open up the double-sided case in excitement to read the list of songs printed on the inside. “This thing is so expensive.”
“Beatles fan, huh?” Dean says as he takes a seat on the couch. You turn your smile on him, and he stills in his seat.
“Uh, yeah. Who isn’t?” you say.
Dean shrugs with a smile of his own. “Put it on if you want.”
You bounce a little with excitement before you figure out how to turn on his record player. You put the vinyl album on Side B, moving the needle until you find “Blackbird.”
“Of course,” Dean says, slightly teasing. You turn to him with crunched brows.
“What? ‘Blackbird’s’ a classic.”
“Eh. Everyone likes ‘Blackbird.’”
“That’s what a classic means,” you argue.
“More like a mainstream copout,” he says. You think it’s just to needle you, but you still purse your lips.
“Fine, Mr. Music Snob. Then what’s your favorite?”
“On the White Album?”
“Any Beatles song.”
“‘Hey, Jude,’” he says, after a moment. There’s some kind of weight in his eyes, a note of melancholy. You don’t miss it, even though you don’t know why it’s there.
“Everyone likes ‘Hey, Jude,’” you quip, trying to lighten him.
He smiles a little. “Yeah. Fair enough.”
Finally, the snowstorm breaks. Dean ventures outside and brings you back a long, sturdy stick to lean your weight on when you want to move around, though he claims he’s working on a better solution. Now that the snow has let up, he’ll be able to go out to the shed and do some work.
Whatever that means, you think.
You watch him from the living room when he goes outside to chop some more firewood.
He should really wear a hat. His brown hair is getting dusted white with snow flurries as he continues to swing down the ax. You notice the power in his tall frame, even covered by layers of his jacket, pants, and boots. You almost feel each chop of the wood resonate in your chest.
Heat rises in your cheeks when he looks up, as if he senses he’s being watched. You bow your head and pretend to read your book.
His boots continue to crunch in the snow as he makes trips back and forth from the surrounding forest. Aside from the firewood, he brings back a few long, thinner logs that he takes to the shed. Soon you begin to hear the steady back-and-forth cutting of a saw. You wish you could go out there and take a look, but you can’t even get around the house that easily, let alone venture outside.
Your curiosity about this man knows no bounds, and you decide to use the walking stick he found for you in the meantime to get around without putting pressure on your injured ankle. You know it’s wrong, but you end up traversing the long, dark hallway, pushing open the door to the right, and venturing into Dean’s room.
It smells like him, earthy and tinged with smoke. His scent is seeped into every part of it—the bed, the dresser and nightstands, the dark blue bedsheets, the desk and chair, and even the drapes. It makes you almost lightheaded at the pleasurable feeling of it washing over you.
A shudder suddenly runs down your spine and tugs at your core in arousal. With a sharp intake of breath, you have to shift on your feet, pressing your legs together against the slick already forming down below.
You’re shocked and embarrassed at first. You aim to bolt out of his room, but you stop short in the doorway as it dawns on you.
Your sister is a beta, and so is her husband. She’s never completely understood you as an omega. She never understood your parents either, or the bond they had. She always scoffed at the idea of “true mates.”
Soulmates. It was fantasy and myth, the stuff of cheesy Harlequin novels.
Growing up, you’d agreed with her, even though a part of you deep down always protested. It wanted to tell her not to open her mouth about something she knew nothing about, and would never know.
The day you met Dean, you knew she was wrong.
Your more logical mind tries again to reassert itself though. You remind yourself that you barely know anything about this man, no matter how attractive, kind, funny, enigmatic…
And yet, you can’t shake that part of you that doesn’t rest until you see his face in the morning; until you make him coffee and eat breakfast together, and take any opportunity to pull more threads from him. It’s more than passing attraction. It’s more than just being stuck together in this cabin, unable to escape each other. You know, because the feeling scares you, and it electrifies your blood at the same time.
All these thoughts go through your mind when you turn back around. Slowly, you continue to look around his room, your whole body tingling. The room is neat, more or less, with everything in its proper place. It’s pretty bare though, décor wise. There’s a desk with a few scattered books and a journal sandwiched in between. A smile of surprise forms across your face.
No. Don’t tell me this guy is Mr. Dear Diary? you think in amusement. Though you wonder if it’s another way he passes his time here, especially when he’s holed up in his room.
You know you shouldn’t be snooping, let alone contemplating what you’re about to do…but you can’t help yourself. Biting your lip, you slide out the journal and begin to flip through it.
You frown at the strange drawings and odd entries—dates, narratives, scraps of information on different types of mythological creatures, and even more strange, on how to kill them.
What the hell is this?
That’s when you hear the front door swing open. You bolt from his room as quick as you can, not realizing you took the journal with you in your haste. You stuff it up your sweater and pretend like you’ve just come out of the bathroom on the way back to your room. There you slide the journal under your pillow. You jump when Dean knocks on your door.
“Hey,” he greets.
The jolting pains your ribs, and your hand goes to your left side in a hiss.
“You okay?” he asks, brows furrowing in concern. He takes a step into your room, but you turn to him with a nod and a placating hand.
“Yeah, I’m fine. You just scared me,” you say, with a bit of nervous laughter.
He gives a half smile. “Sorry. Just come ‘ere a sec. I wanna show you something.”
He reaches out a hand to help guide you to the living room.
There he presents you with two rudimentary crutches. Your eyes widen as your free hand passes over the smooth chestnut color of the wood. Dean keeps a light hold on your elbow, just in case.
“You made these?” you ask.
“Yeah, just a bit of woodworking. Picked it up over the last couple of years,” he says.
He’s downplaying it, but you’re nothing short of marveling. You set aside the walking stick in favor of picking up the crutches, and they’re even the right size to position them under your arms.
“Now you don’t have to hobble around like Long John Silver,” Dean quips. You meet the sight of his grin with a raised brow, but you soon begin to smile. When you get close enough to him, you lean the crutches against the couch and give him a warm hug, resting your head on his chest.
“Thank you,” you say. It’s something he was wholly unprepared for, but he hugs you back with a chuckle.
“Uh, you’re welcome.”
Just then, he tries not to inhale your scent. He tries not to focus on the feeling of your body pressed soft and warm against his. You fit just right.
After a beat, you have mercy on him and pull away. You take your crutches back up and continue to walk around the living room experimentally.
“You think I’d be okay trying to go outside?” you ask on your way to the door. Dean tenses.
“Uh, I don’t think—”
But you’re already halfway out the door. He shakes his head and follows you with swift strides. He watches you step out carefully onto the porch like a baby deer. He cleared the snow this morning from the deck and the steps, but he’s more concerned when he sees you considering how you might step out onto the snow.
“Stay on the porch, all right, Bambi,” he warns. “You’re not wearing snow boots and it’s still pretty deep. Not to mention, I’ve been keeping an eye out for a bear that wandered through here last week—”
You turn to look at him over your shoulder in amusement.
“Okay, Alpha. Calm down,” you say playfully. “I’m not gonna go ass over tea kettle.”
His brow twitches as he frowns. Alpha. He fights not to show his reaction to the way you said it; it calls to his baser instincts, almost stirring a rumble in his chest.
Cheeky little omega.
You keep to the porch, but regardless, you’re happy. You don’t even mind the cold. You see your breath on the air, and you tip your head back, closing your eyes with a smile as the sunshine warms your face. You inhale through your nose and let it out slowly in contentment.
“It’s a good day, Dean,” you say quietly.
You don’t realize that he’s watching you with a more reserved smile on his face. When he realizes it, he shakes his head at himself. He’s only been here a week with you, and it’ll probably take a couple more for your ankle to heal up well enough for you to walk again, let alone get down the mountain.
He doesn’t want to leave you alone up here, so he’ll have to somehow keep fending off your probing questions into his past and personal life. There's a lifetime of blood, nightmares, and death that he just can't let you see behind his eyes.
Hell, he's been trying to shove it all down for the past year—in booze and odd jobs and trips to nowhere, always coming back to an empty bunker. He still wonders how Sam's managed to do it, to move on, and build a new life for himself.
If Dean's honest (and he's not), he feels a bit like this cabin; old, falling apart, and forgotten.
But he’ll have to keep taking in your brightness and warmth, continue arguing with you about music and other inane shit, and pretend that every small touch of yours doesn’t ignite his skin. That it doesn’t make him have to beat down every instinct he has to pull you into his body and blanket you with his scent, ravage you, claim you, and make you his.
He never thought this would happen to him. He never thought someone like you was out there…for someone like him.
He knows it though, deep in his gut. You’re meant for him. You’re meant to be his mate.
Which means he’s already screwed.
AN: And we're off! Special thanks again to Michelle (@luci-in-trenchcoats) for being my sounding board when I was first writing this series. Let me know what you think of Part 1! 💜
Next Time:
I buried my wife today. Even as I write that down, I don’t believe it. Last week we were a normal family…eating dinner, going to Dean’s T-ball game, buying toys for baby Sammy. But in an instant, it all changed…
When I try to think back, get it all straight in my head…I feel like I’m going crazy. Like someone ripped both my arms off, plucked my eyes out. I’m wandering around, alone and lost and I can’t do anything.
This is Dean’s father, you realize. The more that you read, with no small amount of dismay, you also realize that this man is writing about his wife, Mary.
Dean’s mom…
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Watching Joong's Hurt Me Please MV with the context of how episode 6 ended and how this is likely a song about Fadel's thoughts and feelings about Style after Finding Out, I wanted to take a deeper look at the lyrics.
I have transcribed the English lyrics on Youtube side by side with a fan translated version (credit: bl_zonee on Twitter) just because there's different shades of meaning between them that I find really interesting and I'm curious which one is the more accurate translation or if both are valid, but just give different nuance. (Perhaps a mutual who understands Thai would be willing to give some insight? *u*)
Verse 1 makes a lot of sense to me: Fadel must be wondering how Style could be so cruel ("unkind" / "heartless") because every instance of Style being honest and asking for honesty in return, all of Style's genuine desperation to bare his heart to Fadel in episode 5 and 6, now looks like a calculated, cruel deception.
And after being so afraid to reveal his secret to Style for fear that it would make Style walk away from him, there's a painful irony in Fadel now wishing Style had walked away before. Because the betrayal hurts so much more now that Fadel has given in to his heart.
The chorus is where the nuance between the translations gets interesting.
The Youtube version seems almost like Fadel is taunting Style, putting up a front that he can take the pain Style is dishing out and more.
The MV also depicts Style smiling sadistically after slapping Fadel, as if he's enjoying the pain he's inflicting. Meanwhile, Fadel looks up almost in adoration, a strange softness in his eyes at odds with how cruelly he's being treated. The knowledge of Style's betrayal has turned Style into a monster in Fadel's mind, one which he cannot help but to still have soft, affectionate feelings.
But the fan translation sounds much more hurt and accusatory. Fadel is expressing his pain and anguish much more plainly and "you did this to me" is a line that demands responsibility.
In both translations, though, the last line ("can't get enough" / "enjoying the pain") gives us a hint that Fadel isn't willing to give Style up even now. Despite the pain, despite feeling as if he's simultaneously burning up and drowning, there's a part of him that still wants this. That still wants Style.
Interestingly, as Fadel sings the last line he begins to visibly struggle against the rope tying him to the chair. The soft look vanishes and in place is a determination and shadow that spells trouble for Style. The shock is wearing off and Fadel is starting to fight back.
Verse 2 is where the agony really hits, for me.
In both versions, Fadel recognises the way Style's love was (maybe still is?) precious to him ("your love feeds my soul" / "your love nourished my heart"). But because Style's love is a lie, it's transformed into a weapon ("poison"). It twists Style's love into a source of "hurt" to Fadel.
Which is why I think both versions have a line where Fadel admits that there's a part of him that wants Style to keep hurting him -- or rather, to keep loving him; because these are the same thing to Fadel now -- ("hurt me, make me feel used" / "the more I was hurt the more I enjoyed it") whilst also remaining accusatory (both: "the more I loved, the more sorrow/I suffered").
The lines about "nothing left to write about our love" / "our story" also feel very pointed and final. A closing of a chapter; a closing of the possibility of their former, uncomplicated happily ever after. Style has nothing left to write (report) back to his superiors (the police) because Fadel's love is already complete and his deception has reached the inevitable conclusion of Fadel being found out/destroyed.
All this happens while we see Style continuing to threaten Fadel with a golf club juxtaposed with flashes of Fadel and Style in much happier times.
Also the fact that this line comes with this scene *sobs uncontrollably):
The first chorus comes back once and the music reaches a plateau. We are clearly preparing for a drop, a key change, or a modulation and we get exactly the last one (twice!) with the second chorus:
Here, both versions converge: Fadel is angry, he's furious. Style hurt him and he's going to repay all of it and more ("you'll hurt [by much more]" / "you must suffer more than I did"). The lyrics tell us that, while Fadel cannot take back the hurt (take back his love), he can certainly ensure he isn't alone in the suffering.
It is at this part where my heart sank as I realised that Fadel's "I think I love you" line in episode 6 now takes on a much more sinister tone.
Because I think that discovering Style's betrayal was also what made Fadel realise the truth of his love for Style; the very agony he was in was the sign that Fadel's heart was lost to him. But even as it is true, I also think he still made the choice to ruin Style in the same breath.
There is, however, one piece of hope:
Despite Fadel's expressed fury, what the MV shows us is Fadel breaking out of his bonds, shoving Style back and punching him once and then:
For all his anger, for all his rage, for all his threats of manifold vengeance, what we see is Fadel pressing close and kissing Style; once on the lips, and once on his chest (heart), all while the lyrics makes space for one last plea:
("don't betray me")
For me, its the way the line is shown together with this direct visual parallel between the ignorant Fadel in the past (left) and the Fadel of the present who has seen through Style's deception (right) that I find particularly compelling.
Conclusion: Style will be given a chance to prove himself to Fadel.
Because Fadel cannot help himself. Because Style made Fadel's bleeding heart whole again; and it beats, it feels, and despite how much it hurts, what Fadel still wants more than anything else in the world -- desperately and simply -- is Style.
#joong archen#the heart killers#thk ost#thk meta#fadelstyle#fadel#another detail i loved was how the style that is beating fadel up looks NOTHING like the style we see in the show#he's dressed in dark colours; he's cold and sinister and seemingly unfeeling; he doesn't even MOVE the way style does in the show#but the style in the flashback scenes very much DOES looks like the style in the show - warm and affectionate and playful#and notably in all the flashback scenes style and fadel are always in the same state of undress (tank tops)#because that suggests an equal level of vulnerability#ahh i loved this although i hated it#but ngl i felt a bit comforted by the ending#i mean i know the narrative/genre/source already tells us that we'll get our happily ever after#but a part of me is so so grateful that the potential for this forgiveness is still present even NOW; even at the point of discovery#because that shows just how much fadel LOVES [intentional present tense] style#dunk natachai#did a fantastic job with all the “roles” he had in this mv#but dammit joong was BREATHTAKING#also the almost screech-like quality his voice takes on during the 2nd modulation which mimics the way fadel's fury has reached a frenzy#its crazy he's crazy THEY'RE CRAZY <33333
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A post-mortem of "Good Morning, Rose"
A few weeks ago, I posted my addition to the comic anthology GLIMM*R, a short comic called "Good Morning, Rose".
The reaction to it has been so uplifting and exciting. It really seemed to struck a cord with people, which, really, the best thing for me to hear as a creator. I absolutely love writing and making short comics, you can do much with so little, explore such interesting stories. The feedback I've gotten has been very heartwarming! It makes me want to explore short stories even more!
But, first, I want to talk about some of my feelings and about the process of making "Good Morning, Rose". This got a bit long, so you'll have to indulge me a bit. You should also read the comic first before reading this. Don't worry, it's only 8 pages.
Now the preamble is out of the way, lets go back to the beginning.
The idea of "Good Morning, Rose" was a nugget in my brain for a long time! Originally it was actually from the Dreamwalker's point of view, where she was a faceless entity who had a long term relationship with Rose and was trying to figure out how to explain that their relationships only were in Rose's dreams. It was a story about seeing, accepting, and loving each other truly and fully, and the trials and tribulations of getting there. Also a cute girl with an ancient eldrich being is always fun to explore.
A lot of it was too convoluted, emotionally and storywise. It also required to get into what the Dreamwalker actually was, which I ended up really not liking. So, ultimately, the idea didn't work, and I put it down. I ended up going to do my short comic Twigs instead.
When I was invited into the wlw anthology GLIMM*R and was told that the theme was "dreams", I decided to take another stab at the concept. This time, I inverted the pov, it's now Rose's story. And instead of a long term relationship, it was about the powerful first feeling of a perfect (maybe even too perfect?) first date.
One of the hardest thing to write in romance is getting readers to care about the relationship in the first place. To have the readers believe in the character's feeling, to be invested in their romance. This is even harder to do when you only have 8 pages to do it. Focusing it around a first date helped a lot in that case. There I'm not trying to sell that these two character will love each other forever and forever, just the fluttering first butterflies of realizing you're developing feeling for someone. It's why I leave it so open-ended about whether the two of them meet again at the end of the comic, or even if it was real in the first place. It's just not the point of the story.
That's something important about writing short stories, I find. You really have to hone in on an idea, on a thought. Take a simple idea and try to find all of the interesting layers. It's too easy to try to stuff a short story with too many ideas that ultimately go unfulfilled. In fact, the first draft of the comic, at the time called "Dream Date", there was a big problem with this and the pacing.
Here, take a look at the first stab at the roughs:
(BTW, there is something so fun about roughs for me lol. The art is so kinetic and loose, all about just getting the story across)/
As you can see, a lot of the ideas and imagery made to the final version of the comic. But both the initial readers and I agreed that the beginning and end were good, but the middle was messy and slowed things down. You can also see that I got stuck in the same problem I did when I first conceived of the story, it's bogged down trying to understand the Dreamwalker in a way that actually hurts the story. You simply dont have any room for bad pacing a short comic like this. I need to focus more on the character's and their emotions and exploring their actual relationship rather than blandly trying to explain the situation. A friend also suggested that I should hone in on the fluid dream-like aspects of the first couple of pages, especially since it's so fun to explore in the medium of comics. So I got to work gutting it out and trying again with the new, much stronger imo, direction.
Also there were some issues with the page format that needed changes for printing, thus the final spread had to be split up. Which is a shame, but oh well, it still works. I also honed in a lot more on Rose and her insecurities. I ended up putting a lot of myself into Rose. I'm glad readers seems to able to relate to her.
After figuring out the the story and the pacing, I went and, well, made the comic. Once you've done as many comic pages I have at this point, once you figure out a process, the actual drawing is fairly straightforward. Eventually, after thinking, and drawing, and toiling, and revising, and thinking hard about my life choices, I come out of the other end of the tunnel with a comic. One that I ended up really liking. One that other people ended up liking, which is always crazy to me.
I got a lot of interesting reactions to the comic. One demographic thinking it was sweet, wanting more of it (always a flattering thought), and enjoying the romance. Other remarking on the bittersweetness of it all, finding your soulmate in a dream, maybe never to see them again if they were even real in the first place. There were a lot of people remarking how they had a similar dream, one where they met someone they seemed totally and completely convinced that they were real and told the dreamer so, until the dreamer woke up. There was one person who asked if I had met the dreamwalker myself. Alas, my dreams are not this romantic and straightforward.
But all of us can hold hands, nod at each other, united by one universally true statement: big eldritch lady hot.
There's a lot of little bits I can talk about, like how Rose's dress is actively modeled after selkie dresses because I think they're cute, or some other trials and tribulations. But I think I've finished all I have had to say. I hope you enjoyed this and will stick around for my future projects! I definitely want to explore more short stories in the next year, especially as I am illustrating big graphic novels for my day job and don't have the time or energy for huge projects.
Till then, thank you so much! Happy holidays and have a good new year!
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happy birthday, levi. / part one.
pairing: levi ackerman x f!reader (attack on titan / shingeki no kyojin) word count: 2.7k summary: It's your first Christmas with the whole Underground gang -- but you didn't realize the date shares significance to someone's birthday.
rated teen // pre-aot, the underground gang are teens, explicit language, baking, eating food, unresolved romantic tension, lots of yearning, fluffy found family vibes for the holiday
note: set in the universe silver underground during flashback two credit: dividers by @/saradika-graphics; thank you to @nube55 for sending me this prompt for the SU anniversary! part of: #leviweek24 / @levievent (day one: birthday)
part two coming soon.
Christmas Eve.
Although you have never celebrated the holidays before, it isn’t as if you’ve never wanted to celebrate them. Mother had no interest in spending her booze money on her adoptive children, and most of the people residing in the Underground don’t have the coin in general for the festivities they partake in on the surface.
Lost in your own thoughts, it takes a few seconds for you to realize you have company: Furlan and Isabel slide up to your scrubbing station at the kitchen sink sporting twin smirks, one on either side.
(You swear they operate on the same unearthly wavelength.)
“Whatever it is you’re planning,” you start with a pointed look to Furlan, “Levi is going to say no.”
“What makes you so sure we’re going to tell him?” chimes Isabel, catching your interest.
When your turn your attention to her, the ginger-haired girl grins proud and wide.
You’re not convinced.
“So you two want to double your chores?”
“Why would he double them?” Furlan snorts, taking a finished plate from your hands to towel-dry it off.
“If I feign innocence to whatever plot you’re hatching, then he’ll give both of you—” You use a clean fork to gesture it between the conspiring friends. “—not only his duties, but mine.”
Isabel deflates a fraction of an inch.
“Damn, she’s right.”
“Still,” Furlan presses on, “you should hear us out, because there’s something you don’t know about tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” Your brow furrows. “You mean Christmas? I know what Christmas is, Church.”
“No!” Furlan groans, head bent back to the ceiling. “Ugh, c’mon, James. We all know Christmas is tomorrow—”
“—but so is a certain someone’s birthday,” interrupts Isabel.
Wait.
Low and conspiratorial, you voice the point they’ve been hinting at since they double-teamed this conversation at the kitchen sink:
“...Levi’s birthday is on Christmas?”
“A-yup.” Isabel crosses her arms, leaning against the counter. “And he doesn’t ever tell anyone about it, so this is a biggie.”
“Then how’d you know?”
“Because Furlan told me.”
“But we didn’t celebrate it last year,” you argue. “Before we found Isa, I mean.”
(How has it already been a year since you’ve been living with the boys, and six months since Isabel Magnolia joined the crew?)
“Well, technically I only found out this year because Levi kinda mumbled in his sleep once, and I put two and two together,” Furlan quickly explains, palms held up in surrender, “but he never mentioned it any of the other years before when I met ‘em.”
Granted, you barely remember your own birthday sometimes, but the idea of a holiday overshadowing Levi’s birthday feels… sad.
There is already so little in the Underground to celebrate, but Levi is an exception; always has, always will be for you.
Giving the newly-clean fork to Furlan to towel off, you take a step back to view them both.
“I’m in.”
“Huh?”
“Really?!”
Isabel catches what you’re saying well before Furlan does — unsurprisingly. Although the young girl shares a bond with Furlan, the two of you have your own secret language.
(A found sister you’d always wanted.)
“We have plenty of time to make a small cake before he comes home,” you add, rounding them to begin looking around the shelves to take inventory.
Although ingredients for baking in the Underground are scarce and few, the score from last week’s heist can be your solution to a few deals with some of the surface-dwellers lurking with luxury goods.
“Fur, mind running to the market? You can use some of my earnings if flour costs extra this year.”
“No need, sis, we got ya,” Isabel chirps as she bounces over to the door, saluting you.
Furlan meets your gaze and nods once, saluting as a joke to match Isabel, before disappearing.
The small apartment is silent once more, leaving you to stir in this newfound information about Levi Ackerman.
There’s so much you still don’t know about the teen, his personal life locked tight with an impossible key.
If Furlan’s wrong, then it’ll be one hell of an awkward surprise.
If he’s right?
Your attention trails to your shared bedroom with Isabel, mindful of the bag of tea you’d stolen in last week’s heist. There hasn’t been a time or place to tell Levi that you swiped goods from somebody on the surface, risking your own neck for something as precious as leaves.
(But they mattered to him, so you didn’t think twice.)
With a sharp inhale, you place your hands on your hips and nod to yourself.
“A birthday cake,” you say to no one, hyping yourself up for the challenge. “It’s a damn cake, how hard can it possibly be?”
.
.
.
.
.
The answer appears to be incredibly hard.
“You’re not doing it right.”
“What?”
“I said you’re not doing it right, bro!”
“I know how to sift flour, Isabel!”
“Not well, apparently!”
“Children,” you call to your helpers at the old dining room table, “I know they say baking is a science, but I need you to be less critical and more — y’know, efficient, before he gets home.”
“Aye, aye, captain!” Furlan calls, holding out a bowl to you. “Flour, salts, and all the whatever stuff is ready for you.”
You take it off of his hands and add the mixture, trying to eyeball the mix.
Granted, you’re no baker yourself — you’re barely a cook on your regular days, left only to observe and learn by what Levi’s taught you since moving into his apartment — but you’re trying your damnedest anyway.
Once the rectangular pan is in the oven, you drop the mittens onto the counter and wipe the sweat off of your brow.
Is it the most amazing cake?
Probably not.
Should it have taken three people to make?
Definitely not.
Yet the three of you worked hard to produce it.
“When is he supposed to come home?” Isabel adds, flopping down on the couch with a grunt.
“He said by nightfall,” you tell them both, remembering your brief conversation from this morning’s spar. “So we have some time.”
Furlan hangs his apron (see: Levi’s) against the back of a wooden chair and drops down to the couch beside Isabel, his head lying back.
“How come he always tells you where he’s going, but not me?”
You don’t have an answer.
Furlan is right: Levi always leaves his plans in the palm of your hands, his whereabouts unknown to the rest of the world, but you aren’t sure why.
In hindsight he should be trusting the person he’s known the longest, and yet—
Just because Levi endorsed you.
The words that Furlan spoke when he first revealed the ODM gear to you, though it was dropped before you could ever get clarification.
Levi wanted you here, after all these years.
He trusted your word, your opinion, your view.
And you still don’t know why.
(You would be a liar if you said you didn’t feel the same magnetic pull, unspoken and unmatched.)
“Watch the cake, will you?” you ask the two as you disappear into the bedroom, closing the door to a crack behind you.
You move to the tiny nightstand by your bedside, rummaging through the bottom drawer to find it: the loose tea leaves hidden away, smelling delightfully fresh.
Gingerly you hold it in the palm of your hands, wondering—
Will he be angry if he finds out you swiped this?
Would it supersede the fact that you stole them just for him?
(A cake baked by three idiots is already a stretch for someone who doesn’t tell people about their birthday, but will a personal gift cross the line?)
Your hand curls around the bag to gently conceal it in the pocket of your worn jacket, making a decision.
It’s almost Christmas.
You’ll take your chances.
.
.
.
.
.
The second the raven-haired boy steps into the apartment, you can tell he’s on high alert.
Maybe it’s the way Isabel looks as if she’s about to burst at the seams, overtly excited for the surprise hiding behind her back.
Maybe it’s the way Furlan bends at the hip, awkwardly pressing a hand on the chair behind Isabel’s back to complete the human shield hiding your amateur birthday cake on the table.
Regardless, his eyes flicker to them directly to yours, asking wordlessly:
What’s going on?
You shake your head, albeit lightly.
It’s fine.
The furrow in his brow only decreases by a centimeter before his stern gaze returns to the wonder twins all but bursting at the seams with their giggles and snickers.
“What shit did I walk into?” he bluntly asks them.
Furlan takes the lead, playing the much-too-cool cop in this situation.
“Well, ya know — it’s Christmas Eve and all—”
“Obviously,” Levi flatly interrupts.
“—and you have been busting your ass and stuff on this next job of ours—”
“This feels like a very poor proposal,” he interrupts again.
“—and because of—”
Isabel, unable to help herself, bursts out with her arms high over her head:
“Happy birthday, bro!”
Silence.
Pure.
Agonizing.
Silence.
Levi’s eyes find yours once more, brows raised with intrigue. There are multiple questions in his eyes, some you aren’t quite catching, but you know he’s biting his tongue.
Mad, maybe not, but uncomfortable? Yeah.
You tilt your head as if to apologize, unable to provide much solace, only to walk to the table for the big reveal.
Picking up the little chocolate cake from behind Isabel and Furlan, you carefully hold the tray as you walk across the apartment right to him at the door.
“Technically Furlan told us it was tomorrow,” you start as if you’re trying not to scare a feral cat, “but we wanted to make sure you could celebrate it.”
“And you wouldn’t be out of the house tomorrow,” Furlan chimes in, and you can’t help but roll your eyes when you’re out of his line of sight.
That gets an imperceptible smile to twitch at the corner of Levi’s lips.
“That, too,” you concede.
Holding up the cake with the singular burning candle, your eyes search his for his thoughts, feelings, emotions — if he hates it, if he’s angry at the three of you for conspiring, if —
“I didn’t know Furlan knew my birthday,” is all he responds, staring at the cake.
Even if he’s subtle about it, the flicker of the flame before him illuminates a different story.
He’s… shocked.
Stuck staring at the flame, the dark-haired teen seems to be committing the sight to memory.
So are you.
“You’re supposed to make a wish and blow the candle out,” you murmur, catching his attention. ”I don’t make the rules.”
His stormy eyes glance up at you, taking a pause.
(A moment, it seems, for the two of you.)
“Any?” the sixteen year-old asks under his breath.
You nod.
He nods back, eyes still on you, before reaching for the cake. He pinches the flame between his thumb and index finger, snuffing out the flame instantly.
Your eyes shoot wide. “Levi—”
“Blowing on it is fucking disgusting,” he chimes, before craning his neck so he can look at Furlan and Isabel waiting behind you. “You mouth breathers didn’t get any of your germs on this thing, right?”
Isabel cackles while Furlan makes short, choked noises of indignance.
“Hey, I didn’t get my damn germs on it!”
“Just checking,” he replies casually, but a ghost of a smile passes over his lips. His head tilts quickly to the right, signalling the two of you should join them.
(The tea leaves feel heavy in your jacket pocket.)
Walking the cake back to the table, Isabel jumps at the ready to cut up slices, all too eager to serve the birthday boy and talk his ear off about the many adventures they’d taken as a trio to pull this off. You give her the floor, too busy watching Levi in the moment.
Was this really his first cake?
Granted, you’ve never had a cake yourself, much less a birthday present, but…
The concept of celebrating something — anything — among the four of you hits your in the belly, hard.
You want to celebrate. You want to take the perceived little things and make them grandiose, with the time that’s been gifted to you.
You’re only sixteen, but you know.
Time is precious.
(And so is he.)
Observing the group as they dive into their slices of chocolate cake — thank the heavens they’re not only edible, but delicious — you wait for clean-up duty to begin in order to tap Levi’s billowing white sleeve draped across the empty chair beside him.
The raven-haired boy looks up at you, his full attention solely on you.
“You alright?”
You nod, even if your palms are sweating.
“I noticed you baked the damn thing but didn’t have a slice,” he adds simply. “Allergic to chocolate cake or something?”
“I’ll have some later,” you promise, shifting from one foot to another. “Could we… talk?”
Immediately his brow furrows.
Concern.
You wave it off. “It’s nothing bad. Swear.”
“Is it a second cake?” he tries to joke, deadpan in its delivery, but he stands nonetheless.
You snort, stepping away to walk him to your bedroom for privacy.
Isabel and Furlan are too busy fighting over who cleans and who dries.
This is your window.
Levi follows, his forearm resting on the doorframe for a second as he looks you over, trying to understand where this is going. His eyes narrow, contemplating, before walking in after you.
“It isn’t like you to be cagey.”
“Yeah, well, this is something just from me.”
The words cause your body to scorch with embarrassment. Sentiment isn’t in your vocabulary. You’ve known him for over a year now, closer to two years, yet—
This feels strangely intimate.
Especially now that his narrowed gaze smooths and softens, understanding.
Before he can say anything more, you shove your hand into your pocket to fish out the bag and hold it out to him, jaw clenched.
You should say happy birthday, but you can’t.
Hell, you can’t say much of anything as you wait.
Levi drops his chin, pausing, before he nears. “Is that…”
“They’re fresh,” you interrupt in a blurt.
“James.”
Shit.
He sounds upset.
“I know, but I was discreet,” you attempt to explain. “It was in someone’s pocket during the heist and — and I know we don’t steal from anyone beyond the MPs, but this was one of those shitty surface-dwelling assholes that try to market and outprice us.”
His hand freezes over the bag, hovering. Swallowing your fear, you gesture once more with your open palm for him to take the bag.
“I don’t regret it.”
That causes him to flicker his widening eyes from the bag to you.
“Do you know how expensive—”
“I don’t fucking care, Levi,” you exhale, relieved to finally confess it. “It’s almost your birthday. It’s Christmas Eve. I… I think you deserve it more than anyone, surface or underground.”
Silence befalls the room once more.
He seems to struggle with the concept of deserving much of anything — always has — before he gingerly relieves your palm of the bag to bring it towards his chest.
Levi stares down at it with wonder, turning the bag and feeling its weight in his hand.
To your surprise his head dips, taking a brief sniff of the leaves and basking in the aroma.
“...thank you, James.”
His voice is softer, this time.
A bewildered whisper.
It squeezes your heart and makes it grow twice its size.
In the darkness of your bedroom, you finally find the strength to say the words, loaded with a gratitude you can never repay.
The boy you met so long ago in a flurry of fists; the teen who offered a hand of refuge and a promise to never go back to a life of anguish and pain; the person who’s defined you — this James, in this life — for the better and never for the worse.
You hope a gift in the dark, a cake baked by three, and a wish can convey it all.
“Happy birthday, Levi.”
And many more, with me right by your side.
author's note: i know i've disappeared for the past month, but i wanted to give at least a little present to my readers past and present for sticking by me in 2024. this is a two-part birthday series. the second part (also set on levi's birthday) will be posted at some point after christmas since i'm super busy with family and friends tomorrow.
merry christmas, friends. thank you for your support and kind words. i'm so grateful for the memories we've shared in 2024, and i hope that i can keep posting my pride and joy into 2025. 🤍
#levi ackerman x reader#levi ackerman x you#levi ackerman x female reader#attack on titan fanfiction#snk fanfiction#snk fanfic#aot fanfic#aot fic#snk fic#levi ackerman fanfiction#levi ackerman fanfic#shingeki no kyojin fanfiction#aot fanfiction#shingeki no kyoujin fanfiction#aot x reader#snk x reader#leviweek24
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Hi, a bit late but joining in on the @alliwantforchristmasislou project 🫶
I decided to donate to a polish organisation called the stonewall group (which is why the pic is in polish lol)
chose this one just because im the most familiar with this one, and they do amazing work in support of lgbt+ people and fighting for our rights in this... not so queer-friendly country 🫶
now, ive been in the 911 fandom for almost 4 years now (gonna be 4 in i think February), and i only started after the episode Buck actually bc it was allll over my dash. i binged the whole show in a week, before the next episode is even aired, I loved it SO much.
as most of y'all know, I initially shipped buddie - it was the big ship, ofc i did, i wrote so much fic for them and i had so much fun and met so many moots i still love seeing on my dash 🫶❤️ but it might've been obvious (or not, idk) i was kinda getting bored and losing enjoyment, more and more of my fics and snippets were focusing on other characters with buck or eddie, i wasnt really as into it anymore - but i still loved it and wanted to enjoy it (which ironically was killed dead later on by the buddie fandom itself lmao)
and then came bucktommy and everything changed. initially i tried not to give in but within a few days i had two fics and more ideas lol they completely took over my thoughts. ive never been this inspired to write, to create, I even learned how to make gifs for them (with lots of help from amazing talented friends 🫶🤣) during fall and winter I always get so depressed and sad and having very dark and depressing thoughts (last year my buck driving fic was a result of that lol), and its so hard to find motivation to do anything, even write. but this year, even tho I had a lil crisis moment, i wrote through it and im as inspired as always - i havent stopped writing since april. they're literally the most inspiring ship ever - and fun fact, usually i prefer writing about fanon ships, so this was a huge change and surprise
I always related to buck a lot, and especially once we got his bisexuality canon - checking out and appreciating hot people of the same sex and not realizing what it means is too real lol - and Tommy is so compelling and theres so much potential for so many stories there, I wish the show would do something interesting with him 😭 despite being so confident and cool, he feels like he's holding back some sad, maybe (probably) traumatic backstory that could be so good and interesting - and lou is such a good actor and itd be amazing to see more from him in this role
they wrote tommy as the perfect love interest for buck, and it was amazing to see it on screen, it was such a breath of fresh air to see this kind of queer representation on a network show, it was so gentle and adorable, and they initially handled it with so much care, and id love to see where they'd go from there 😭 the break up broke my heart not only because it happened, but because it felt ooc and abrupt and not at all like that's where the story was going. wish they'd fix it and give us tommy back 😭🙏
and lastly but most importantly - thanks to bucktommy, i met so many amazing friends ❤️😭 even when I was writing fics and interacting with mutuals on here, i was never really talking to a lot of mutuals, not for longer than a few messages, and now i got this wonderful community that i feel so comfortable in, everyone is so nice and friendly, and I love y'all so much, this is the best fandom experience ive ever had ❤️
thank you all, ive been having so much fun since april, i love y'all. here's to more bucktommy in 2025 ❤️
#alliwantforchristmasislou#bucktommy#bucktommy nation#this post got long lmao i hope its not too chaotic and rambly 🤣
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