#this was posted five weeks ago and she could have deleted it by now

[ingravinoveritas]

NOT SOMEONE COMMENTING THIS ON GEORGIA'S POST, I'M--

[pepprs]

crying again lol ok

[aphrodeiities]

i've returned to post about a particular subject i've been fighting to or not to post, because i used to consider this person the closest person in my life and i even considered her as a best friend and a sister.

and we have fallen out and apologised to each other many times, but perhaps whenever we argued it was life telling me that she is not supposed to be in my circle. and you could be wondering why am i bringing this up and telling tumblr this but im telling tumblr this to be aware of @couerardent and her scamming behaviour.

couerardent also known as MYSTIICWINTER OR MYSTICWIINTER.

talk about WORSE SERVICE I HAVE EVER GOTTEN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

[other people have come to me and spoke about how bad her services were, but i tried to overlook it because i really cared for her, lessoned learn]

i have always been empathetic towards ardent and her money situation, but there are moments when excuses turn into reasons to not do something. on august, i sent alex money because she needed it, but she also said in return she will give me 4 packs she usually gives her clients and she told me she would give me my money back.

first pack is "tell me your story."

second and other packs she hadnt told me what they were but she informed me that i'll be receiving them weekly since august, and now its november.

at first i was empathetic, since i used to be close to ardent, i knew she went through a lot of stuff at home, so i was patient. until august turned into september, and september turned into october and then october turned into novemeber.

and slowly i became annoyed, [as i should] because her services arent even long or good, as someone who gives chart readings to other people that consists more than fourteen pages, the effort to write that would take long, but ardent doesnt even give five pages for her services, three at most, so why is it taking her so long?

previously, she has joked to me about scamming other people, but would put the blame on them and not want to take accountability until they start using threats to expose her, i think she deleted the making fun of scamming them but here is some of it:

and when i would message her for updates about my reading because it'll take months, she would ignore me and even change her pfp on tumblr or discord, until i reach out to her on more platforms to get her attention.

and what would annoy me even more is that she would talk about how she never has something to do or would focus on other stuff knowing she needs to get my reading done lmao and this would be like 1-2 months after i was supposed to receive any of it lol.

worrying about the layout for almost 3 months PLEASE.

i have received 1/4 readings, and that was now almost 2-3 weeks ago, we should've been on my 2nd or 3rd reading by now, the only reason i have received 1 reading is because i did threaten to expose her if she didnt send the money or reading my way, because even i had some issues because living in london has gotten really difficult and i have been trying to support my family as much as i can, but im doing better right now.

its all about the principle. and she has none of that. and even attempted to victimise herself and behave like she was in distress whenever she got called out about her behaviour.

she lost track of time, the time being 3-4 months lol.

and when i was speaking to her she ignored me for a bit again ha, it was almost comedic. for almost two weeks she didnt try and check what i was speaking about.

she has gotten ill, but this was still months after.

and i have remembered, she has used much of her earned money to fund for her nose job but also uni, but during the moments it was best to pay me back was at the job she said paid her well, she informed me that when she gets paid by her job she'll pay me back, and she never did and ended up quitting the job.

[the unfairness i was speaking about is how uni her country dont do student finances, she's from romania, because they do in the uk it was just a surprise].

i asked her recently on how i was supposed to receive a reading but she didnt reply but change her pfp on whatsapp and discord, again.

if there is any confused people comment please because i did this half asleep lmao

[the-lonelybarricade]

Take My Hand, Wreck My Plans - Chapter 1

Summary: Fresh after her third, and final, breakup with Tamlin, Feyre decides a one night stand is exactly what she needs to get him out of her system. Except, her one night stand with a violet-eyed stranger ends up being far more than she bargained for.

-

Or; the one where Feysand gets knocked up from a one night stand. A contribution to @officialfeysandweek2023 Day 3: Family.

🌶️🌶️🌶️ ahead!

Read on AO3 ・Masterlist

-

Maybe, in hindsight, the third tequila shot had been a mistake.

The first one, though, had been strategic. Feyre had come to Rita’s that night with a purpose, and that purpose had rattled her to the bone. Her hands were shaking when she sat at the bar, and she frowned at her phone screen, watching the words as she struggled to keep her grip steady.

If she was going to do this, she needed a drink. An ounce of liquid courage that burned down her throat, bloomed in her chest and spread to her fingertips, loosening her body. It didn’t ease the tremble in her hands, but that had more to do with the small green text bubble that she’d been staring at since she got here.

Got stuck in traffic. I should be there in five x

Feyre set the phone on the bar so that she could run her palms over the black bodycon she’d squeezed herself into, hoping to erase the evidence of the sweat gathering in her palms. She was nervous. Of course she was nervous. She hadn’t done anything like this in… years.

It was Alis’s fault, really. Several nights ago, she’d discovered Feyre hunched over on the bathroom floor, sobbing into her hand as she sorted through nearly a thousand couples photos on her phone—again. It was the third time Feyre and Tamlin had broken up, which marked it the third time Feyre was erasing any evidence of him off her phone. The final time, she swore, well aware that the photos still sat in a hidden folder on her phone since she hadn’t summoned the courage to delete them permanently.

“Maybe you should go out,” Alis had suggested. “Meet someone new. Do something fun and impermanent.”

“Impermanent?” She’d blinked past her tears to force Alis’s frown into focus. “Do you mean like… a one night stand?”

Alis had shrugged. “I think it’d be good for you.”

Feyre had sat on that suggestion for a week, torturing herself with all of the usual post break-up rituals. Unfollowing him on instagram, archiving all the couples photos on her profile, stalking everyone in Tamin’s likes. And when Tamlin had posted a series of pictures of a barbeque from the weekend prior and Feyre had swiped to see her ex-boyfriend with his arm slung proudly around Amarantha’s waist—the girl he’d sworn she didn’t have to worry about—Feyre decided that maybe Alis was right. Maybe she did need to do something to help her move on from Tamlin permanently. She needed to find someone who could help her have fun, purge him out of her system for good.

In a surge of courage that Feyre now partially regretted, she had sent a text to her old college roommate.

I want to get drunk and slutty this weekend. You down?

Drunk and slutty? Feyre, did someone steal your phone? Kidding! You know ‘drunk and slutty’ is my legal name, of course I’m down! For real though, is everything okay?

Tamlin and I broke up.

Well, fuck him! Let’s go to Rita’s and have the drunkest, sluttiest time at his expense.

It had been years since Feyre had been to Rita’s. Mor and Feyre used to go to the nightclub semi-regularly when they had been living together in college, but Tamlin wasn’t very interested in nightlife and Feyre had stopped going shortly after they’d started dating. She’d stopped doing a lot of things, actually.

But she wouldn’t think about that now. She was here to forget Tamlin. She was here to get drunk and throw herself into the crowd of writhing bodies, losing herself in the music that he would have undoubtedly complained about.

She had forgotten how loud it was in Rita’s. Music thumped through the overhead speakers, set to such a high volume that Feyre could feel the bassline vibrating in her chest, elevating her already racing pulse.

“Feyre!”

A bright-eyed woman came racing up to Feyre, her long blonde hair swishing behind, falling just above the scoop of her backless red dress.

“It has been too long,” Mor declared, not waiting for Feyre to stand from the bar stool before she barrelled into her side. It helped that Mor was tall, especially in heels.

“It’s good to see you,” Feyre said—surprised by how much she meant it. “You look incredible, by the way.”

Mor’s red lips stretched into a smile as she ran her eyes over Feyre. She gave a low whistle. “Look who’s talking. You weren’t kidding when you said you wanted to get drunk and slutty. What are we having?”

“Tequila,” Feyre answered, fingers pinched around her empty shot glass.

“Really?” Mor scanned the crowd, lips pursed. “I was thinking I’d like a brunette.” She turned back to Feyre with a roguish smile and winked. “Tequila will do for now, though.”

If they were going to be dancing, Feyre was definitely going to be needing another shot. Usually by the time they’d made it out to Rita’s in college, they had already spent the evening nursing their low-budget alcohol that had tasted more like motor oil than whatever label had been slapped over it. Dancing hadn’t been an issue then, but that was a time when Feyre had felt freer.

At least now, she could afford a drink at the bar.

Or two.

“I hope you don’t mind,” Mor said, leaning against the bar after ordering a round of shots from the bartender. “I invited my cousin to join us.”

Feyre had a vague memory of the stories Mor used to tell about her cousin—one of her closest and only family members. It was good that Mor had invited someone else. Feyre had every intention of going home with someone tonight, and it was a relief to think she wouldn’t be abandoning Mor in doing so.

“The more the merrier.”

Mor grinned. There was a mischievous glint in her eye as she accepted the shot glasses from the bartender and passed one to Feyre. “To slutty new beginnings,” she said, raising the shot glass in the air.

With a short laugh, Feyre clinked her small glass against Mor’s, and together they knocked back their heads to down the numbing liquid. It didn’t take long after the heat hit the back of Feyre’s throat for Mor to grab her by the wrist and drag them both into the center of the dance floor.

The transition was difficult for Feyre at first. Her body was too stiff and there were too many people. It was difficult to keep from brushing shoulders with the other dancers while she tried—and failed—to copy Mor’s graceful movements while also keeping time with the upbeat music. Eventually, Mor laughed and grabbed Feyre’s hand.

“You’re thinking too much!” she called over the loud ambiance. Raising Feyre’s hand over her head, Mor twirled her in place, then tugged Feyre’s back to the front of her body. Mor’s hands fell to Feyre’s hips, flush against Mor’s as they swayed back and forth.

“Don’t look at what I’m doing,” she whispered into Feyre’s ear. There was a sensual scrape to her voice that caused Feyre to suppress a shiver. “Close your eyes and listen to the music. Move your hips against mine—does that feel good?”

“Mor!” Feyre whispered with a sharp laugh. Heat was rising to her cheeks, but she obediently shut her eyes and focused on the music. “Are you trying to teach me how to dance, or seduce me?”

Mor hummed impishly. “Can I not do both? I thought we were embracing our sluttiness tonight.”

“I’m going to end up wanting to go home with you,” Feyre said, only half teasing. She leaned back into Mor and raised her hands into the air, allowing her friend to guide their rhythm. “Everyone else is going to pale in comparison.”

“I don’t know about that.”

Mor’s voice was pointed enough that Feyre’s eyes fluttered open. A pair of striking eyes met hers, shining violet against the red lighting of the dance floor.

“Oh my—”

“Good luck,” Mor purred into her ear, before giving Feyre a soft push towards the purple-eyed man cutting towards them.

His lips were twisted into a devious smile, one that was eerily reminiscent of the friend who was rapidly disappearing into the crowd, gone before Feyre could scramble after her. Dancing couples closed into the space she left, pushing Feyre closer to the dark haired stranger.

“Hi,” she whispered, hoping he would blame her breathlessness on the dancing. “I’m Feyre.”

“Hi Feyre,” he said, flashing her a cat-like grin. “Care to dance?”

Feyre hadn’t even realized she had stopped. “Of course,” she said, though the music had become a distant white noise.

Embrace your sluttiness, Feyre chided herself, thinking of the way she and Mor had just been grinding against each other. With a slow, steadying breath, Feyre stepped closer to him. He was so tall that she could just barely wind her arms around his neck, and she was suddenly grateful she’d opted to wear heels despite how her feet were already aching.

His hands fell to her hips, warm and broad and far too respectful, considering she’d just pressed the entire front of her body against his.

“What’s your name?” She tried to mimic the way Mor had spoken to her just a moment ago—low and husky, sensual like the fragrant smoke blowing over the hard-tiled floor.

“Rhysand,” he said. “But my friends call me Rhys.”

“Rhys,” Feyre echoed, letting her tongue linger on the word, the same way she wanted to let it linger over the brown, tattooed skin she saw peeking through his black collared shirt. Why did that name sound familiar? She dropped one hand to his elbow, pushing it forward so that his hand slid around the curve of her hip and landed firmly on her ass.

“And what do your lovers call you, Rhys?”

“That depends,” he murmured. Those decadent eyes darkened, dropping to her mouth. “What would you like to call me?”

Daddy? She thought, feeling her entire body heat at the suggestion. That was clearly the tequila talking. Ordinarily, she would never dream of saying something like that out loud and now the word hung dangerously on her tongue.

She nearly said it. But she wasn’t that drunk yet.

Instead, Feyre took a solid moment to compose herself. Rhysand was staring at her expectantly, hardly dancing despite how their hips were flush and his palm pressed into her ass. She liked that he was patient, waiting to follow her lead, taking only what he was being freely given. More green flags than she was expecting from a stranger she’d picked up at a club.

With a face and body like his, she thought surely he must possess some significant shortcoming. At the very least, she expected he had to be a massive prick. But that didn’t matter. Because she wasn’t looking to marry him, or even have a conversation with him. He could be a self-absorbed asshole for all she cared, because after tonight she was never going to see him again. Which meant she could be bolder, say whatever she whatever—be whoever she wanted.

Feyre leaned up, curling her finger around his biceps to steady herself so that she could press her lips to his ear. “Tonight, Rhysand, I want to call you mine.”

He had to shout over the music to be heard. “Yours?”

“Yes,” she crooned, starting to feel the alcohol loosen her body, urging her to be brave, to be reckless. “Tonight, you’re only allowed to dance with me.”

The scent of his cologne tangled in the air, dark and heady like a raging ocean storm. There was no greater freedom that Feyre could imagine than throwing her arms open to the embrace of whipping wind, feeling the sea-spray in her hair and letting the riptide carry her to the vast horizon. At least for tonight, she wanted to drown in him and emerge someone new. Someone carefree and wild who couldn’t remember Tamlin’s name or why her heart was fractured.

Tonight, Rhys was hers. And she was his.

“Are you the jealous type, Feyre?”

From the way he posed the question, Feyre had the sense he found that appealing.

“I don’t like seeing people touch my belongings,” she said, playing into her new role. A seductress—an entirely different woman from the dull, caged-in Feyre who had walked through the door under an hour ago. “Unless that doesn’t apply to you?”

“Oh, Feyre darling,” Rhysand pulled away so that she could see the full extent of his grin. “I was yours from the moment I laid eyes on you.”

-

They’d hardly stumbled through the front door when Feyre’s back hit the wall. Her dress was already hiked up her hips. The hem had first slipped up when she’d wrapped her legs around Rhysand’s waist as they were coming up the stairs, and the hand he’d edged along her inner thigh certainly hadn’t done anything to help.

The fabric had been ungodly short already. Or at least, that’s what Rhysand had complained to her throughout the last several hours she’d spent grinding her barely clothed ass against him.

He said it one more time for good measure, gasping it against her lips—”This dress is going to kill me.”

“Then take it off.”

“Believe me, I have every intention of seeing you undressed,” he said. His eyes dipped to the cleavage spilling out to tops of the v-shaped neckline. He groaned, ducking his head to leave a trail of nipping kisses along the edge of the seam. With his face practically buried in her chest, he growled, “But first, I’m going to fuck you with it on.”

“Rhys—”

“Right here,” he interrupted, rolling his hips forward for emphasis. “Against this wall.”

His erection was thick, pressing through his trousers so that she could feel its shape perfectly against the soaked lace of her underwear.

Her response was compulsive and utterly reluctant. “I have a roommate.”

His head snapped up, rising from her chest to search her face for a moment, before he flashed her a shameless smile. “Better hope you can keep quiet, then.”

Oh, holy forgotten gods. Feyre’s muscles clenched at the idea—of the ways that he could help her to ensure she stayed quiet, picturing those large hands wrapping over her mouth. Or better yet, her throat. But they were both drunk, and likely incapable of staying quiet, and she was going to say more to protest, but he cut her off by slipping a hand between her thighs.

“Fuck,” he hissed under his breath, at the same time Feyre whimpered from the feeling of his thumb swiping against her clit. “Have you been this wet all night, Feyre?”

Yes. It was a show of extraordinary self control that she hadn’t asked Rhysand to take her in one of the alleyways behind Rita’s, like she’d contemplated doing several times when he’d been slowly grinding against her ass and whispering absolute filth into her ear.

Filth like describing what he was doing at this very moment, sliding her underwear down her legs.

He asked, almost casually, “Do you think you’ll need something to help you stay quiet?”

Surely he wasn’t suggesting…? Feyre bit her lip, feeling an anticipated thrill spike through her.

Trying her best to summon the seductress from Rita’s, she asked, “I think that depends on how confident you feel about your own… skill set.”

Rhysand clicked his tongue. “So bratty, Feyre.” He’d managed to slide her panties down her legs now, and she watched in disbelief as he balled them in his fist and raised the wet, crumbled fabric to her lips. “Open.”

She stared for a moment, unblinking, realizing that she’d never actually tasted herself before—except for the rare moments she’d been kissed after someone had gone down on her. It had never been unpleasant, but it had always been brief, accidental.

As if sensing her train of thought, or merely observing her hesitation, Rhysand licked her arousal off his fingers and smiled. “Don’t worry, darling. You taste exquisite.”

A bit dumbfounded, Feyre obediently parted her lips, allowing Rhysand to slip the balled up underwear into her mouth. The cotton stuck to her tongue, wet and tangy from her own arousal.

“Good girl, Feyre,” he said, stirring something dangerous and exhilarating inside of her. His thumb and forefinger squeezed against her cheeks, as if feeling the space the underwear took up in her mouth. “Do you taste how wet you are? So eager to be fucked.”

Her cheeks were heating up, embarrassed and aroused and trying to wade between those two conflicting feelings. No one had ever talked to her this way in the bedroom before. They weren’t even in the bedroom, and a strange part of her was getting off on the idea that Alis could walk out and find them like this, with her underwear in her mouth and a stranger praising her for being such an eager slut.

Rhysand’s fingers returned to her pussy, gliding through the wetness to tease at her entrance. She gasped, the sound smothered against her underwear, as he slowly slid a finger inside her, then another, sliding them both to the knuckle.

“Fuck,” he swore again. “I usually like to—I wanted to make you come first. On my fingers. But you’re so wet, Feyre. I think I could fuck you just like this. And I could put you on my tongue afterwards.”

Feyre’s head fell back against the wall. She bucked her hips forward, hoping her meaning was clear—just fuck me already, you asshole.

He laughed, hurriedly dropping a hand to his belt buckle to free himself from his trousers. She watched, saliva collecting in the recesses of her mouth as Rhys pushed his pants down just enough to free himself. He took his cock into his fist, pumping the thick length with two casual strokes before he adjusted himself at her entrance.

Feyre dug her fingers into his shoulder. She didn’t think any partner had ever been as big as he was, and it had been almost three months since she and Tamlin had last had sex.

“Is this what you want?” Rhys asked, pausing with his flushed head right against her cunt. She could feel it throbbing against her—or maybe that was her own ache building, so unbearable at times throughout the night that she’d barely resisted the urge to beg him to just bend her over one of the tables at Rita’s.

She thought of the last tequila shot they’d had before they left, how he’d poured the salt line against her throat, the way his tongue had scorched a path over her skin.

With a small, exasperated huff, Feyre ground against the head of his cock, trying to fuck herself on him if that’s what it would take.

That earned another cruel laugh. “I guess that answers my question,” he whispered, leaning his forehead against hers. “Pretty, needy thing.”

Then, with her head still spinning from his praise, Rhysand thrust his hips forward. Feyre’s hands turned to fists against his shirt.

“Oh, fuck,” Rhys choked out, all of his suave confidence suddenly forgotten.

Feyre was forgetting everything, too. Like how to breathe. There was no room for air in her body anymore. It was being squeezed out of her, escaping in a single, surprised gurgle as she became aware of every nerve, blazing white-hot while her body searched for a way to accommodate the space that Rhysand was demanding.

The wall at her back became a cool, solid extension of his body, caging her against him, leaving no space to squirm away as the head of his cock pushed into a group of nerves that had Feyre clenching around him, desperate to escape because otherwise she would scream and surely wake up Alis. Rhys felt it, because his eyes went wide, and a moment later one of his large hands was covering her mouth.

His eyes were dark, the color of the night sky when the moon was swallowed whole. “Right there?” he asked, stilling his hips, lingering against the spot that was causing splotches to dot her vision.

Feyre’s head lulled back, wondering if she found a version of euphoria that was so pure, it bordered on pain. She started babbling nonsense around the underwear, rendered into wet and smothered sounds against his hand while she began writhing desperately against him, grinding his dull head against that cluster of nerves over and over—until she was drunk on it, on him, on the way he swore softly beneath his breath and whispered, “That’s it Feyre. Use me. Fuck yourself on my cock.”

He allowed her a moment to chase her own pleasure, his full lips splitting open in awe, eyes half-lidded as he watched her grind her hips. Then, he started meeting her with slow, precise motions, keeping himself directly in that spot so that he was fucking her there, forcing her to come undone with every tortuous roll of his hips.

“Gods, Feyre,” he panted. “You should see yourself like this. You’re so beautiful. Letting me fuck you in your little dress. You’re so—” he halted, their hips flush together so that he could grind against that spot in one slow, deliberate movement that had Feyre heaving, spluttering against the underwear and his hand as she felt herself tighten around him. “Fuck, you’re so perfect.”

Her nails bit into his skin. She knew it must have hurt, but he only groaned, saying nothing in protest as she slid one hand into his hair and tugged. She wasn’t even certain what she was trying to tell him. Fuck me or harder or don’t stop. Or just please.

Please, please please.

It didn’t matter. Rhysand’s breathing was ragged, practically as undone as she was as his hips continued their onslaught. The momentum pushed her into the wall with every thrust, resulting in a dull thumping noise that nearly drowned out the sound of their slapping skin, or her gushing arousal, or the wanton moans he smothered with his palm.

His pace staggered a bit, and she thought he must have been close because he opted to drop his hand from her mouth in favor of rubbing her clit. She could feel her own drool against his fingers, wet as he circled them between her thighs. Some of it was still dribbling over her chin, but the mess that she’d become was the last thing on her mind while she bit down fiercely on her underwear in an effort not to scream.

Feyre didn’t know how to tell him that she was going to come. She tugged on his hair, a low whine building in her throat.

That must have been enough, because he whispered, “Oh, Feyre—baby, I know. Look at me, darling.” It was an effort, but she pulled her head upwards, meeting his burning violet eyes. “Such a good girl. You’re going to come for me, yeah?”

She nodded, knowing her eyes were as wide and wild as his own. Feyre didn’t know why, but in the midst of the surge of pleasure ratcheting up her spine, she felt suddenly tempted to reach up and brush aside some of the hair that was plastered to his forehead. She wanted to see his face, memorize the shape of his mouth as it slackened into an open ‘o’, moments before he leaned forward to kiss her—undeterred by the drool or the underwear or her desperate gasp for air as the mix of sensations threatened to drown her whole.

Rhysand groaned. The vibration lingered on her lips, then rippled, the final push to topple her over the edge. Feyre jerked her hips, uncertain if she was trying to escape or chase the ecstasy violently crashing over her body, causing every muscle to contract. Rhys kept her still, kept the rhythm of his fingers steady even as his own pace faltered. He gasped into her mouth, driving his cock deeper before his body stilled and she could feel the distant, pleasantly warm sensation of his release.

For a moment, the hallway went starkly quiet, disturbed only by their ragged breathing. Their chests rose and fell, brushing idly against each other like the sea over the shore. Eventually, Rhysand was the first to move—pulling his fingers from her clit so that he could push them into her mouth and pry the underwear free.

It made a horrifying squelching sound as the fabric hit the floor. Feyre met his eyes, mortified, but his lips were already stretching into a smile that immediately chased away her concern. He thought it was funny. That tugged a small smile to her lips too, and then they were laughing softly together as Rhysand errantly swiped his thumb over her chin, wiping away the excess saliva.

“Do you think we woke up your roommate?” he asked.

“If not, we can always try again. In my bedroom, this time.”

Rhys grinned. His hands slid down to support her weight so that he could pull them away from the wall. “Which door is yours?”

-

“Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit—Shit!”

There was a soft knock on the bathroom door.

“Feyre?” Alis called. “Everything okay?”

“Just a minute,” Feyre called, in a voice which betrayed that everything was most definitely not okay.

She raised the small, digital stick closer to her face out of some misguided hope that the double lines were just a trick of the light. There was no way she was actually pregnant. She was on the pill, and she’d been taking the doses mostly on time.

Don’t panic, don’t panic, don’t panic—

“Shit.”

[miss-celestia13]

Good Girl

Jake x MC Smut One Shot

Words: 3.4k

A week apart. A clever little toy. Taunting Jake and refusing to back down means Manon is about to learn that playing with fire gets you burnt… in a very good way. Praise, denial of sex to make her beg, and a filthy dream that shatters her control. Shameless gratuitous smut!

It's been a while since I posted some explicit shit, and this was gathering dust in my drafts. Can be read on its own. You don't even have to know the fandom to read it. It's smut at its most indulgent and plotless self. I hope you enjoy it! It's a dual POV, switches from Jake to my MC and back again every so often, but I've tried to make it as clear as possible. Their names are bolded to show whose head you're in.

Manon: It’s a shame you have to work...

Jake: Why?

Manon: I was shopping earlier and bought something for us to play with.

Jake: …

Manon lay on her front on her massive hotel bed, legs crossed at the ankle and kicking up as his chat bubble told her he was typing and deleting repeatedly. It took another few minutes before he sent something else.

Jake: For us or for you?

Manon: Well, I was bored earlier, and it was definitely for me then, but I know you’ll figure it out when I come home.

Jake: Manon.

You should have waited for me.

Manon: You should know by now that waiting isn’t my strong suit.

Jake: How many times?

She considered lying, but part of her still thought he could read her filthy mind, and her thumbs moved before her mind could catch up.

Manon: Twice.

Jake: That’s it?

Pathetic.

A strangled laugh left her, she could hear his cocky tone, and already she wanted to go for round three. She decided to play a perilous game and prod at his need to claim, conquer, and own her in bed. Familiar heat made her muscles loose, and a hot flush crept up her neck to stain her cheeks pink.

Manon: There is plenty of time to make that number rise...

Jake: Do you want me to deny you, Manon? You didn’t like it last time.

Manon: I vividly remember enjoying the end results, though.

Jake: I see.

We’ll see how long you last this time.

Sleep well, Manon. ;-)

(Jake is offline)

Fuck. Her pulse flickered wildly in her neck as she stared at the screen and wished she could slap herself, turn back time, and not provoke him into another game of, “Let’s see how long Manon’s sanity can stretch before she snaps and begs.” Two days were her limit a few months back, and she hadn’t pushed him that far since. The safety of a luxury hotel and the temporary distance between them gave her a false sense of confidence, and she would be the loser if she couldn’t hold out. No. She refused to lose and wouldn’t see him for a week. It would be easy. A walk in the Godsdamned park. It would’ve been if Jake hadn’t shown up at her door the following morning and joined her for the rest of her stay. Her new plaything was soon confiscated, and her suffering began.

Five days. Five fucking days he slept naked beside her, joined her in the shower, touched, kissed, and grabbed her until she trembled and moaned, only to be released with a peck on the cheek and a sly smirk as he turned away. Her nerves were shot, a permanent tremor took up residence in her hands whenever he brushed past her or smiled her way, and she ran out of clean underwear two days ago, slick so often she had to change them multiple times just to get through the fucking day. He never let her out of his sight to ensure she couldn’t relieve the pressure building to an implosion inside her with her fingers. She was on a blade edge as she readied for another sleepless night.

Exhaustion dragged her down as she slid off her robe and clambered into bed, ignoring the smug look on Jake’s face as she put her back to him and slammed her eyes shut. She thought sleep was beyond the realm of possibility, but her body had been on high alert for days and demanded a break. She was asleep within minutes, barely cognizant of his gentle kiss on her temple as oblivion pulled her under. There was no respite from her constant simmering arousal inside her dreams. He was there, under her, on top of or lifting her up, and it changed each time she blinked and was so vibrant and real that she could feel the slip and slide of her essence on her inner thighs as he fucked her.

Unleashed and intent on making her crumble, she was helpless as dream Jake flipped her on her front and ordered her to get on her knees and hold on. Her shaking hands gripped the bedpost just as he slid inside her, every hard inch so familiar and real to her as she keened. Out of focus and constantly changing, she could only burn as the dream spun out of control. Seeing them from above, two souls twisted together on the bed, positions switching as she flung her head back and screamed. She flinched away from it and blinked, finding herself under him once more. Release was so close it was a coppery tang on her tongue as he urged her on. Ready to crest that peak, primed to detonate, relief and gratitude sinking through her…

She was unceremoniously dragged out of it and blinked stupidly at the dark ceiling as Jake jostled the bed and turned to face her.

 

She was soaked in sweat, her saturated cunt clenching in time with her furious heartbeat, and a moan trapped halfway up her throat as her thwarted orgasm winked out of existence. That was it. Her hormones had reached critical levels. She couldn’t take it anymore. Lust was a lead weight low in her belly. A swirling ache with its own pulse resided in her core, and she realized dimly that she was whimpering softly. She could take the edge off herself and hold off a little longer. The thought made her bottom lip tremble as sweat trickled down her face. She was soaked and unable to think or breathe through the violent arousal stealing her tongue. Sensing Jake watching her, she didn’t jump when his sleep-roughened voice rumbled too close for her jumpy nerves.

“Two words, Manon. Say them, and I’ll fuck the ache away.”

Oh, fuck, he never played fair. Her legs clamped together, and she was rubbing them slightly, seeking friction as his large hand wrapped around the back of her thigh. He’d feel how wet she was; it slid down her thighs to soak the sheets, and she knew he’d already noticed. She was proven right when his fingers crawled between her legs to delve into her slippery folds. Her whimper fast turned into a whine as he circled her entrance with the tip of his finger but didn’t penetrate her. It was cruel of him to tease her when she felt like an animal in heat. A creature of base instincts so devastating she feared she might die if he didn’t fuck her. The words were on the tip of her tongue, her mouth parted along with her thighs, and she was close to begging when he called her good girl.

She hated to lose. She would rather die than give in, but her body would not rest without his care and even if he allowed her to touch herself, it wouldn’t be enough. He was smirking, she could barely see him, but she knew he was as she loosed a quivering breath and his finger grazed her clit. No, she had no other option, and her mouth opened before she understood she was talking.

“You win. Please, I think I’ll go mad if you don’t fuck me.” She fully expected him to gloat, or laugh but he didn’t make a noise.

Suddenly, his mouth was on her neck, teeth scraping down the column as she jolted and let out a yelp that soon turned to a warbling moan as he slid two fingers inside her weeping cunt. The heel of his hand caught her clit as he moved it in and out, her fluttering inner walls holding his fingers tight. She could feel her sanity splintering and weakening as pleasure ignited like fire on gasoline. Jake murmured pure filth to urge her on.

“I need you relaxed, Manon. I can’t give you what you want until you come for me. I need to hear you. Then I’ll fuck the sense back into you.”

An unhinged laugh spilled out of her as her stomach tensed, the heat between her legs now an inferno as she ground herself into his hand. It was like sparking flint over dry brush. He coaxed her along, crooking and pulling his fingers, kissing her until she drank the air from his lungs. Besotted after all this time. She wondered how they’d be twenty years from then. Still obsessed with each other and deeply in love? She believed so, and as the first ripples of her release spread from her core, she knew she would always feel so utterly unglued around him. Everything in him was designed to pull her apart and put her back together. Her mouth opened, a dark wail and curse of his name as her body tensed and jerked with every pull of his hand between her thighs.

“There, let it take the edge off. You’re beautiful.”

Over time, Jake got even braver in the bedroom, and out of it, he was confident, a little cocky when needed, and completely aware of his effect on Manon. A few words, a couple twists of his wrist, and denying her for a short time, it was a recipe for heaven when she finally erupted. He’d hated every moment of denying her; he needed her touch as often as she needed his. All he had to do was think about her or catch a hint of her seductive scent, and he was rock hard, ready to taunt her body into unconsciousness. Oh, yes, he knew how strongly he could make her react. She was always extra touchy the following days after one of those animalistic nights. He tried not to use it too often, but she deserved that from him tonight. He knew if he fucked her right away, she would come too fast to savor it. She was a livewire under his influence; he only had to look at her over the last few days, and he could observe her struggle to keep the words that would end her torment trapped inside. Her quaking body flooded his hand with her essence, and he wanted to taste it more than he wanted to breathe.

“Jake,” she whispered as she took her first full breath since waking; he affirmed as he sucked his fingers clean and wordlessly told her to go on, “I need you. Now. “

“Do you want me to take care of you?” He needed her consent before physically committing to taking her control away.

Her soft, urgent whine made his smirk broaden as she said, “Yes. Don’t make me beg.”

He let go of a black chuckle, “You already are, Sweetheart.”

That was the trigger word, saved for these moments as its power over her was so explosive that she turned feral. His smirk transformed into a grin, and he caught her as she pounced and pushed him onto his back. Her tongue was in his mouth as his cock jumped against her ass, and she clawed his chest, sharp nails making him hiss into her mouth. He groaned and bucked his hips when he felt her drip onto his torso. His cock ached with the need to sink into her tight heat and feel her disintegrate around his length. She made a beast out of him, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. He never got bored of exploring her body and claiming new territory. He wrapped his hand around his cock and sighed as he applied pressure and stroked up and down a few times. Manon keened and found her voice.

“I’ve said the damn words, Jake. Stop playing.”

He didn’t respond; he let himself go and gripped her waist, flipping them so her hips cradled his and she was pinned. The heat pouring off her was scalding, and her skin was damp, salty, and musky as he inhaled slowly. His mouth watered as he stared into her lust-hazed eyes. She would let him do anything and trusted him so profoundly she readily handed him the reins. He didn’t take that for granted as he snapped his teeth at her plump bottom lip and stretched to reach under his pillow where he’d stashed the item that started all of this. He fumbled blindly until he felt the cool, smooth handle. It was a small clit sucking toy she mentioned once in passing, and he wanted to surprise her with it, but her impatient ass couldn’t wait. She already knew what he planned as she writhed under him and shook her head.

“Yes or no, Manon. You can stop me at any time. I’m doing this for you.” He rasped as she babbled.

Her voice never sounded, but she did nod.

“Will I keep going?” He double-checked, knowing he was being a little cruel.

“Yes! Fucking hell you are -” She sobbed as he impaled her on his thick cock and held her still, the insult she planned to spit at him forgotten as her eyes rolled back.

Her cunt held his cock in a taught clasp. A sensation of static flared under his skin as he made tiny shifts of his hips to open her up and stretch her to take him with force. Oh, her body would sing for him, primed to explode as it was. His small movements inside her turned into sharp darts of his cock that had her clinging to his shoulders. A sloppy kiss kept his own need to cum at bay as he experienced again how she melted like ice in July. He slid his hand up her thigh and paused at her knee, hiking her leg to change the angle enough to rub against that spot, making her wetness turn to a torrent of need. Still, he couldn’t make it too easy, when he felt the first pulse of her orgasm, he held her down with strength until the early flutters died out.

She was wound tighter than a reel of thread. One sudden move, and she would begin to unravel. Sobbing and distressed at being denied, she babbled “please” like a lifeline as he ignored his own lust and focused intently on her. He wished he could strap her down and drive her to the brink of insanity before giving into the want to hear her cry his name, but their restraints were back at home. She was too riled to wait for him to find something to tie her up. His sexual taunting earlier had affected her more than she wanted to admit, but he could feel it in the flood of essence drenching his cock and the raking of her nails down his skin. When she began trying to steal her pleasure, Jake pulled almost all the way out and slammed back into the hilt. Both moaned, and she was constantly making wordless noise like he’d made her forget English. He loved it and how powerful it made him feel. She liked to put on a show; her body kept him up all night more often than not, and he realized they never had been able to take things slow. Always fast, eternally burning, and all-consuming, it thrilled him.

“Use it now.” He ordered firmly, putting a good dose of authority into his tone, and she whimpered as she felt around the mattress for the toy. The quiet thrum when she turned it on seemed very loud as she worked it between their joined bodies to align it with her swollen clit. He knew she found the right setting when her inner walls clamped down on his length and tried to pull him impossibly deeper, her trembling making him shake as well.

He loved to overwhelm her. She was a force of nature in all she did and needed no one. Still, he knew she wanted him to take charge, to simply feel and not have to think for once. She always delighted in it once she let go of her pride and relinquished control, only doing so after she plucked away at his restraint to make him manhandle her. A distressed throaty whine made him smile as he taunted her with slow sensual plunges of his cock inside her flickering cunt. She was so wet, the toy was unrelenting in its efforts and her teeth were bared against the onslaught of sensations he could practically see moving through her. All he could smell was her sex and desire, a heady perfume he wanted her to wear every day. It took everything in him to ignore the tingling building low in his spine as she went rigid and arched into him, the sobs coming from her turning his lust into something sharp and dark.

“Now. Let go, or I’ll stop.” He clipped as he felt her tense and try to hold her orgasm off.

Her breath hitched as she turned the toy to a higher setting, and his thrusts became harsher to help her over the edge. He slammed into her again and again as her wail turned to a scream so ragged and raw he was proud of them both as she shattered. She attempted to move the toy away as her orgasm rolled through her, stealing his breath as her inner walls clenched around his cock, and he barked at her to stop.

“No, keep it there. One more time, you can do it.”

A helpless little sound trickled from Manon’s throat as her body jerked, and he mercilessly fucked her through it. All she knew was fire and desire so intense her mind struggled to comprehend what was happening to her. More brutal and rougher, he pounded into her and grinned down at her as she howled savagely and tried to breathe through the incredible pleasure surging through her aching body. It was too much. Her second orgasm still pulsed in her core as she felt another rising to swallow her whole. Jake sobbed above her, bending her further back, and a bite of delicious pain heightened the frenzied energy running through her veins. She couldn’t take it. Her mind fractured into jagged lines and red light, thoughts scattered like ash in the wind as his clever tongue filled her ears with praise.

“Good girl. You’re almost there. Turn it up for me.”

No, no, she couldn’t, the sucking sensation sealed around her over-sensitive clit was sending her farther into madness, but her traitorous fingers did as told, slipping over the soaked handle to find the right button to turn it up. The pattern of it changed. Every snap of his hips and the insistent suction made her thrash her head as her body convulsed. It blended into her second release, dragging it out and heightening it to a point where she could only wail and wait for the darkness at the edges of her vision to take her. Her breath came in harsh pants; his breathing was as rough as hers as he urged her on, and she gave herself over to the wildfire consuming her body and soul. She disintegrated into a million pieces like a house of cards in a hurricane. It terrified her how hard it seized her. Like she was having a fit as her mind slowly winked out, and she heard his cry of victory. Her name yelled into the sex-heavy air as he collapsed on top of her still-flailing body and smothered the noise she was making with his mouth.

Jake kissed her until she stopped kissing back. Knew she was on her way to sleep before his mouth was on hers, and he needed to soothe her before she fully slipped into a doze. Male pride at her twitchy, barely conscious body made him smile as he pulled free of her of her cunt. Tender touches to sweep her hair away from her face and wipe the sweat from her brow made her mumble his name and smile. She would sleep like the dead before long, and he knew she’d wake him for another round before they faced the outside world, so he carefully disentangled himself to go clean up. He picked up the still buzzing toy off the bed, turned it off, and took it into the bathroom to wash it off. He was done within minutes and soon crawled back into bed.

The sheets were damp with sweat and her essence. Never had he witnessed her so needy and vulnerable. Usually, he didn’t stop her from getting herself off to tide her over until she was desperate enough to let him win. She had nowhere to hide from him this time, and he’d taken full advantage. No matter where they were or what they did, they always ended up here. He thought they’d slow down after all the time they’d lived together. But somehow, it only became more apparent that they were addicted to each other and the pleasure they gifted one another. He loved it. He couldn’t wipe his satisfied smile away as he dragged the sheet over them and settled down to sleep. His last thought was that he couldn’t wait for her to get her own back and take it out on him.

**************************

Thank you so much for reading! I hope it was good. And thank you for any comments or reblogs if you feel like doing that too! I appreciate it 🥰❤️

[howtofightwrite]

Hi! Are there certain types of asks you don’t respond to, and/or do you have a huge backlog of them? I sent one in like 3 or 4 months ago and still haven’t seen it come out, so I’m just curious as to what’s going on :) (I’m sorry if you do have guidelines posted anywhere I could not find them)

There are a few topics we won't touch. As a general rule, we're not particularly interested in covering sexual violence, violence on children, child abuse, and animal abuse. That list shouldn't be much of a surprise.

Beyond that, there are a few other things we, generally, won't cover.

The most common are cases where someone wants us to write their fight scene for them. We do offer that as a Patreon perk, but it's not something we're ever likely to do for free here. Off-hand, I think we've gotten about a dozen of those asks this year. The most recent was in the last couple weeks. Now, some of these asks do get public responses, but it's usually in the form of discussing world-building, or because one of us thinks we can get something interesting out of it. The recent “water horse,” question was one of these. So was Professional Monster Removal, now that I think about it. The original ask didn't come through Tumblr, and so I decided to revise it without the prompt. Which, part of why the tone of first couple paragraphs didn't exactly match the rest of the text (if anyone noticed.)

We also can't privately audit your work. At least, not through the ask system. This does come up from time to time when someone will send a sample of their writing (this did happen twice in the last four months.) There's two issues here. One, I wouldn't, so you'd get Michi editing and she is an absolutely merciless editor. The second thing is, there isn't really a way to do that privately in Tumblr. If you did it through Patreon, it would probably be through a shared Google Doc, or via Discord, but if you're in that tier, get in touch, and we can work with you.

I know this isn't relevant to you, but hate mail doesn't generally get a response. This should go without saying, but, I did publicly clown on that Dragon Age fanfiction writer over her attempted death threats a few years back. Similarly most of the misogynistic responses from Women are not Weaker than Men, or any of the subsequent posts, tends to get summarily executed. That stray fan of Shane O'Mara who never really understood his work, tends to get ignored. Though, I haven't seen anything from them in a year or two. Similarly, that guy who wanted me to know that “Space lizards are very important for the economy,” will probably have to wait... forever.

The real problem you're running into is probably because of how our backlog works. It tends to runs in a FILO pattern. That is to say, “first in, last out,” meaning new asks go on the top of the pile, and pushing down earlier questions in the queue. This has more to do with how Tumblr organizes its inbox rather than an intentional decision. For example, if I remember a question from five years ago, and want to answer it, I probably could not find it. I might be able to write up a post without that ask, but I wouldn't be able to notify the original sender (assuming they still use Tumblr.) This is the other reason that the dude who wanted to talk about space lizard economics will have to wait forever, that question was in 2013 or 2014, and there are roughly four-thousand asks burying his inquiry. (As a general rule, the only stuff that actually gets deleted is some of the hate mail.)

Another way to ensure a question won't get answered is to send it to Michi's personal Tumblr blog. There's only 153 in there, but, when answered, they don't get posted to How to Fight Write, and as a result, they're likely to get missed. (To be fair, the most recent ask in her inbox is from April 20, 2021, so that's not you.)

If you're asking about invisible lightsabers, I wouldn't completely give up hope. It wasn't really suitable for a full post, but assuming I can get Tumblr's inbox to cooperate again, it might show up in a batch of questions like the ones earlier this week.

-Starke

This blog is supported through Patreon. Patrons get access to new posts three days early, and direct access to us through Discord. If you’re already a Patron, thank you. If you’d like to support us, please consider becoming a Patron.

[frickinsleepdeprived]

Some personal work, might delete later idk

So like I said earlier, I was thinking about posting some completely original content for yall to devour while Ride or Die is being completed.

So enjoy some witch and artificer fuckery under the cut hehehe-

...

Prologue:

“If not for country, then what the fuck are you doing in office?” Questioned the girl sitting across from her father. “What do you even stand for as a politician anyways? You barely do anything for the people, other than keeping the artificers at bay. Which I genuinely can’t blame you for because they’re homicidal pigs already.” She stated, lighting her herbal cigarette and sitting back in the plush velvet chairs that adorned the study. Her father could only smile, knowing that she knew nothing about being a politician but she does her damn hardest anyways. His daughter is a diplomat at best, not a politician. She doesn’t deal with what he does on a near daily basis.

“Well, Lilith, what I’m doing is for the greater good. And it’s not like you’d know anything about being a politician anyway. Your formal title is ambassador to Ellowyn, not savior of the fucking world.” He started, moving his hair out of his face to better see the papers in front of him. “But right now, I won’t get into that. Right now we need to discuss this meeting we’re about to attend.” Lilith choked on the cigarette she was having, the smoke getting caught in her lungs and throat.

“I’m sorry you said what? Why wasn’t I told about this a week ago?!” Lilith exclaimed, putting her cigarette in the ashtray after putting it out. Her father sighed, knowing that he would have to have this conversation with her yet again.

“Lilith you must understand that sometimes in this industry you must be on your toes at all times, like now.” Like lightning, he picks his daughter up by the collar without even touching her, and slams her into a nearby wall. She screamed a murderous screech, the pain in her arm seething like hot iron as she got up stumbling. “Stay on your toes.” He finalized.

“Yeah…” Lilith breathed, dusting herself off and cracking her neck. “And you should know to do the same.” Her father gave her a questioning look, wondering what she could possibly mean. Lilith, swifter than the wind picked up the various books that rattled off the bookshelves with a power that one could only assume is of worlds other than Elysium, and launched them at her father, effectively hitting him. “You fucked with the wrong one. Remember that.” Lilith raged in what seemed to be the calmest way she could muster. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I saw on your papers this is scheduled for an hour from now. I will get myself cleaned up so as to not appear harmed. I will dismiss myself.” Lilith ended the conversation, leaving the room to go to her bedchambers. Maids and butlers were waiting for her outside, worried from the scream she had let out not even five minutes ago.

“Lilith, what happened in there? You look beat up.” A maid asked, following her with a warm rag to wash the blood coming out of the nasty gash Lilith now adorned on her arm. “Oh gods this looks bad…”

“What’s bad is that I have a meeting in less than an hour. I need to get ready. Please, excuse me…” Lilith dismissed the maid as she called for a nurse to follow her to her bedchambers. “Gods the things I’d do to that man if I could…” Lilith muttered, opening her door to her room and allowing the nurse to enter. “How about you Akira, what would you do in my shoes?” The older woman looked at her, premature gray hairs starting to show as she cleaned her wound and applied ointment to make sure it won’t become infected. “I’m sure there’s something you can say to make sure this doesn’t happen again.” Lilith sighed as she sat down on the edge of her bed while Akira was still working on the wound.

“Firstly Lilith, I need you to stop moving. Secondly, I’ve been working for your father for the last twelve years. I’ve known you since you were six. But from what I know just by working with your father, there isn’t a way to get whatever he’s got going on in his head out of it.” Akira sighed, knowing that there was genuinely nothing she could do to help Lilith out of this. She wrapped her arm with medical bandage and put a sleeve over it for further protection. “Get dressed, also, that wound of yours will bleed pretty badly. You’ll want to leave that bandage on for a few weeks. I’ll obviously help you change it when needed.” Akira gave her the go ahead to get ready, to which Lilith sprang up to get dressed, do her make up and hair, and gather herself mentally within forty-five minutes. 

“I know there isn’t a way to get what he’s got going on out of him, that’s evident enough. Maybe some counseling would do, he hasn’t been to a therapist since mom died.” Lilith commented, throwing on a long sleeve black dress that was modest enough to meet her father’s dress standards. Akira shook her head and sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose knowing that this is going to be no easy feat.

“Lilith, your father is too prideful to even consider going to a regular doctor. He’s a very traditional Elysian.” Akira mentioned, pulling her hair back and covering it with a bandana as a way to veil. Lilith slipped on a pair of nude closed toe heels and a blazer. Stepping into the bathroom she took a brush and water to slick it down into a low bun. “And by the way, I’d suggest a ponytail, looks more casual and less tense. Remember, your father wants you to appear relaxed, never hostile.” Akira adjusted Lilith’s hair. All Lilith could do was sigh as she put on minimal makeup, just enough to cover a few healing scars that have by now scabbed over, and those scabs had fallen off that day.

“I getcha, either way I have fifteen minutes to get downstairs before father yells at me again… or launches me into yet another bookshelf.” Muttering under her breath, Lilith proceeded to grab her documents and make her way out of her room. Her footsteps booming on the cherrywood floors almost as if to knock on wood. “Florana, where’s father?” Lilith asked, rounding the corner as the maid swiftly followed her to answer her question.

“O-oh, you’re right on time actually. He just got downstairs and is waiting for you at the door. You better be quick though, a butler is distracting him to buy time…” With Florana’s statement, Lilith quickened her pace and made her way down a grand gold and moldavite staircase. She approached her father with Akira following behind closely.

“All I’m saying is-” Her father turned and saw Lilith standing there, in all of her wounded glory. Her breath was heavy as she struggled to stand in the heels she adorned and her makeup was almost pristine. She didn’t care though, what she cared about was not getting slammed into another hard surface. “Oh grand, you’re here… and on time for once.” Lilith rolled her eyes and smacked the papers into her father’s chest.

“Save it, let’s get this over with.” She spat, grabbing a coat and making her way to the black SUV that she’s always taken trips in. Her father closely followed Akira, talking about the wound on her arm.

“I can assure you sir that Mister Delcoure and his son won’t be able to suspect a thing. It’s patched up nicely and she’s wearing a dark long sleeve should any blood come through the bandage.” Akira stated, giving her father some false peace of mind if only for the moment. But Lilith knew that she was being two-faced, she’s been like that since she first started working for her father. “Should you need anything, know that you have me on speed dial. I’ll see you both when you return.” Akira sighed, closing Lilith’s door as the eighteen year old crawled into the backseat.

“Very well then, you are dismissed. Chauffeur, we’re ready whenever you are.” Lilith’s father spoke as he got into the backseat next to his daughter. He sighed and brought out his flask to sip on whatever ungodly concoction was in there. “And Lilith…” Lilith turned her head to face her father “If they ask about how things are in Elysium-”

“Tell them that it’s confidential matters. It’s the same drill every meeting, Ellowynians aren’t entitled to that information.” Lilith concluded. It was frustrating to her father that she could read his mind so easily. But in a weird way, it brought him some sort of comfort. “Also, don’t bring up any suitor business. Now’s not the time.” Her father sighed at the comment, she needed to marry. In his eyes, because she missed the timeframe to get married, she should find a husband as soon as she can. But that wasn’t on Lilith’s agenda.

“Lilith, it is tradition the minute you turn eighteen you marry. You signed an oath in high school pledging you’d do so.” Her father spoke, an air of exasperation lacing his voice.

“While I may have signed an oath at an impressionable fifteen years old pledging to some ludicrous decree, I have an amazing team of lawyers and attorneys who have helped me put that contract in void. So no, I don’t have to marry.” She declared, looking over the files once more before the car sped off to the embassy. “Don’t make me regret coming to this meeting, father. It will only make national relations worse.”

...

Not sure how I really feel about it tbh, might delete this later but enjoy this while it lasts lol

[whatevertheweather]

So! One year and one day ago, I started posting The Space In Between, and I am emotional about it. Pretty much always, but in particular now, thinking about that date. I just????? I cry.

So I spent roughly 100% of yesterday in a TSIB stupor, during which I engaged in such activities as: laying in a puddle of blankets and emotion, listening to the playlist while my heart got too big for my chest, and staring at these beautiful pieces of art and sinking under that kind of nostalgia that’s so lovely it sort of hurts. (And don’t be fooled by that being the last in the list; I devoted substantial time to that particular activity.) (Sometimes I even mixed it up and did all three of those things at once.)

I could go on, but I would probably go on forever because I feel so much about this and this fandom and everyone who has read this and everyone I have met here and, and, and! And I have to reel it back a little. Here we are right now because I’ve been planning to post some deleted TSIB scenes for ages, and this is the proper occasion. So, please enjoy this Several Sundered Space (in between) Sentences Sunday. Or something.

More or less in the order they would have appeared:

He glances at Penny to see her looking imploringly back at him, and it takes him a moment to realize it’s nothing to do with Basil and everything to do with Gareth, who’s still gibbering about the week he spent in Majorca. Simon shrugs, and Penny glares at him before turning back to Gareth.

“That’s great!” she yells at him mid-sentence, with all the subtlety of a car alarm. “Really...very cool. Simon and I were just going to…”

“Do drugs,” Simon offers.

“Do drugs,” Penny parrots. “So—”

“Oh, I’ve got—”

“Bye!” Penny yells again.

××

“Dev was probably trying to do it for you, in his own fucked up way,” Simon says.

“Have you ever met Dev?” Baz asks.

“Never seen the man in my life.”

“Then shut the fuck up.”

“Aye, that’s fair,” Simon nods. “You can shut the fuck up about my intelligence too, then.”

A brief silence, and then, “Because I’ve never seen it in my life?”

“That’s not shutting the fuck up,” Simon points a stern finger at him, and Baz snorts.

××

“It doesn’t matter. We have to fix whatever it is we did wrong the first time around.”

“The original sin,” Simon nods, and Baz gives him a withering look.

××

If he’s honest with himself, the three minute rebuttal Baz made in one of dozens of forty-five minute lectures was not all that humiliating. It was galling, and uncalled for, but it wasn’t in and of itself that memorable. It didn’t warrant stewing on a reply, it didn’t warrant spending half of every class thereafter staring at Baz. It’s Baz that’s memorable.

××

“Alright, here’s one: we’re both in the coma ward. Stuck us in the same room ‘cause we both died at this stupid fucking party.”

Baz snorts. “It still doesn’t explain why we would be experiencing this together.”

Simon holds up a finger and says, “Proximity. Which we needed to facilitate—” he puts up a second finger “—the connection of our brainwaves.”

“Our brainwaves,” Baz repeats.

“Yeah. Like, we’re on the same wavelength. Our brains both operate on the same fuck-up frequency.”

“So it would seem,” Baz hums thoughtfully. “And the people disappearing? That doesn’t bode well for our recovery.”

“That doesn’t bode well no matter what the theory is, Baz. Maybe we’ll just wake up one of these days when they poke our feet with those pin things.”

“I don’t think they do that to coma patients.”

×× 

“Dunno. I reckon life’s all of that at once.” He glances up at Baz, gives him a crooked smile. “Maybe we’ll be fine now, yeah? This was all about learning the meaning of life, and we’ve figured it out.”

“What, that it’s a meaningless shitshow?”

“Yeah.”

Baz laughs. “I already knew that.”

Now...there’s quite a bit more to be shared from the last chapter, except it’s all quite sad because that chapter was much more tragic in its earlier drafts. It always ended the same, but we initially had roughly three times the angst in the first half, and since this isn’t Super Sad Sentence Sunday, I’m only going to share these tiny snippets:

His thumbs are moving over sharp cheekbones, his sore throat still moving over meaningless words. “—you’re just taking the car out of the equation, aren’t you? Don’t need a car when you can kill me with this shit, Baz, you fucking — I’ve aged ten years in the last ten minutes, it’s fucked up — I’ve got grey hair now because of you, you’re not even gonna like me anymore—”

×× 

“—look at this, the whole room is hardwood and you throw up on the rug like a fucking cat—”

××

“Shut up,” Baz moans.

“Telling someone to stop talking doesn’t count as talking, Baz, so—”

“I don’t want to talk to you,” Baz mumbles. Simon lets it sit in him for a moment, and then he breathes it out.

“You do,” he says. He holds back the “you told me” and instead says, “You tripped me in the hall that time, remember? I think we should talk about that.”

“Fuck off.”

And one final bonus:

Simon knows his face is doing all those things Baz accuses it of doing (hiding absolutely nothing, expressing absolutely everything—being, in general, the antithesis of a poker face), but he doesn’t much care. Baz isn’t entirely right anyway (he never saw him around Davy), but most days, Simon sees no point in keeping his eyebrows from tugging together in expression of what the fuck do you want to people who need to tell him what the fuck they want.

This last was actually cut from the other activity of my day: filling every spare moment between aforementioned stupors by working on the piece of bonus content I began writing shortly after I finished posting TSIB in the first place.

It is still not done, but I made some good progress, and I am cautiously hopeful that it might be ready on the anniversary of finishing posting TSIB. In the meantime, I’m sorry this post is so fucking long, I love you all, happy Sunday, I hope each one of you wear your favorite sweater or see a cute dog or a precious cat or a funky squirrel or hear your favorite sound or remember that one time that other person said that stupid funny thing and you laugh and/or smile and/or feel okay, okay? Okay.

Tags: (starting with those linked artists because y’all are still killin me with those one year later) @cutestkilla @artsyunderstudy (and now betas because ::sob::) @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @fatalfangirl @moodandmist (honorary beta, thank you for putting up with me) (okay I’m going to stop making notes and just tag people) @mostlymaudlin @captain-aralias @martsonmars @facewithoutheart @sillyunicorn @whogaveyoupermission @ileadacharmedlife @ivelovedhimthroughworse @aristocratic-otter @ionlydrinkhotwater @confused-bi-queer @basiltonbutliketheherb @bookish-bogwitch @urban-sith

[spoonyglitteraunt]

This is a vent post. Because no-one I usually go to with this stuff is currently awake. So not tagging it and will likely delete it come later today. But I need to put this somewhere lest it builds up more. So you all get to ride this emo train with me.

Just. If medical anxiety, cancer scare, fears around parental death and existential dread for the future are things you can't deal with right now feel free to skip. I don't blame you. I wish I could skip this.

I'm scared. Plain and simple. I'm scared.

My dad has been having episodes of peeing blood and he's finally getting it checked out. Last week he had a scan and they found something. They just don't know what since those scans don't do well with empty organs. They just have a rough size estimate of somewhere between 3 to 9mm. So in a few hours he has an exam to stick a camera up there and go see what's up.

And I'm scared.

I'd been oddly, surprisingly, uncharacteristically chill about it all week. Really not my usual. I was all, no need to stress, chances are it's just a polyp and even if it's not it's not big right? (No I have no concept of what are usual sizes of the T word are and looking it up now would be an extremely bad, no good, terrible idea.) But where I was chill all week, I'm not so much now. As in not at all actually.

It wasn't bad throughout the day, but once night fell it got progressively worse by the hour. While playing a game to distract myself it was still manageable, but once in the dark, trying to sleep, and nothing to focus on. Yeah chill is so far removed from what I am now that it's in another universe entirely. So far it's 7am and no sleep was had. Don't know if I'll get any. I should, because if it's bad news I also won't get any sleep after. But mind is not having it. And the aforementioned no one to talk to doesn't help.

All the fears, all the existential dread. All the everything. Because pitiable as it sounds with how my life has gone he's my rock. My emotional support. He is the one semi functioning cog in this broken down household of a health issues collectathon. And well, my parents are all I have.

It feels like we were finally starting on making some preparation for the future. Starting being the operative word there. As I'm the greyest of grey zones no one knows how to help other than passing the buck. And now I fear it will become a trial by fire as so much of my life has already been. And I'm still as fire proof as dry straw.

Where a few days ago I almost felt like it would be ok. That we'd sort things out, and make plans, and I'd learn. Learn to somehow take care of myself despite everything. Somehow. Figure it all out by the time I'd need it. Somehow. Now I'm right back to feeling small. Small and helpless. And I hate it.

I can't help wondering if I was fooling myself. That I'm just destined to end up bounced around from hospital to hospital to a retirement home, because there are just are no accomodations for people like me. The fact I've once spent five weeks in a hospital room with someone like that. Someone like me, who'd been forced to live exist like that and was pretty much left to waste away. Forever told no one knew what to do with her and she neither belonged nor had a place anywhere. Someone who... well who knows if she's even still alive today. It does not help these fears.

So yeah having a bit of an anxiety meltdown and I can't even go to my parents, which is usually the hack to wrangle the panic demons under control, because they have their own fears without me adding to it. It's just so much.

And I'm scared.

I know all the sayings. All the wisdom. About how worrying about something is putting yourself through it twice. And how stress isn't bad it's just a way for your body to deal with challenges. How you need to stay away from what ifs and only deal with stuff you know. All the grounding and breathing exercises. All the stay in the now stuff. All the advice. But guess how many of those are working right now when I'm posting this ramble online.

You know. Sometimes I envy those of you who believe in a god or a sentient universe or whatever. Because it would be really nice right now to think there was something out there I could appeal to to give us more time. Something I could tell, well listen, buddy. Whoever might be up, or down, or triple sideways loop the loop style out there somewhere. I'm not saying we won't still have to have a talk when I arrive wherever, but if you make sure it isn't bad news, idk. Just keep a receipt or something, and I will probably go from very pissed, to strongly worded letter, maybe even begrudging acceptance, when we do get round to that talk.

It would be nice.

But I don't.

So you all got this vent instead.

[welcometomypinkbox]

Spider-Man & Ms Marvel: Love & War

By: Reborn Dark Phoenix

OMG THIS WAS THE BEST FANFIC I HAVE EVER READ! Is so WELL WRITTEN! You won’t be able to find it as it is delete. This is more of people who like Spider-Man comics where he is OLDER And People who might like Peter x Carol which depict here make a great couple.

Also we won’t be able to find this fic as it is deleted 😔 will post more soon!

Chapter 1: Minimal

If there was one thing Carol loved about having super speed, it was that she could race from her house to the edge of the atmosphere in less than five seconds to get to space. And if there was one thing Carol loved about space, it was how blissful and awe-striking it was. Despite having seen the beautiful view every day since she took up this habit three years ago, she was always struck with wonder when she saw the Earth from space.

And her most absolute favorite thing about space? Free-falling.

As she allowed herself to plummet through Earth's atmosphere, she felt the heat of the massive kinetic energy consume her body, as it warmed her and her body absorbed it. She loved this feeling, the heat nipping at her body; it was so tingly and pleasuring. She loved being able to do this every day, just flying up and plummeting back into the earth, and almost hitting the Atlantic Ocean before maneuvering herself to race to Manhattan.

This... this was probably the best thing to happen to her because of becoming Ms. Marvel.

Well, actually, Peter was... this was a close second, though.

As she arrived at the shores of Manhattan, people looked nonchalantly up at her form; superheroes had been around the city for almost 20 years now; showing up worldwide less than 10. This was a common occurrence, and flying deeper into the city, people didn't even give her a second glance, if they took a first glance, even. Carol was grateful for that-she was having a good start to the day, and the last thing she needed right now to ruin it were ogling eyes looking at her. It was one of the reasons she preferred flying high above the buildings and at super speed. Although, she did enjoy the lower, slower flights she had when she and Peter travelled through the city... well, enjoy wasn't a good enough word, really.

Suddenly, something jumped onto her back and her eyes were covered by a pair of hands. Now normally, she'd knock whoever this was into the atmosphere, anticipating an attack and then a battle, but this set of hands was all too familiar to her, and she simply smiled, waiting to hear his voice.

"Excuse me, but is this the ferry to Staten Island?"

She laughed as she flew up to a nearby building and landed. The person jumped off, and Carol turned to see her most favorite person in the whole world smiling at her: the Amazing Spider-Man.

"Enjoying your week off?"

"Eh, I guess," the Webhead replied with a slight shrug. "Yeah, I'm off the team for a while, but all these thugs just won't let me take a break, y'know? All the regulars like Doc and Rhino and such are locked up on the Raft at least."

"There's something," Carol said as she sat on the ledge, Peter joining her. "What've you been up to these last few days?"

"Well, the lab's needed me more than usual, Jameson's having me freelance more and more, and I'm visiting Aunt May tonight. Kind of dull, really, now that I hear all that out loud." Carol let out a small giggle at that. "Oh, c'mon-that's what you laugh at and not my jokes and quips?"

"They've been kind of failing in quality as of recent, babe."

"Yeah, name one time they've-actually, don't respond to that, it'll hurt my already fragile ego, and the bad guys depend on my fragile ego to help me mock them while I beat them up every day."

"The team says hi, by the way-Logan, Cap, Jess, Falcon, Luke & Danny especially."

"They miss me?"

"Nope, they've really enjoyed the quiet; they've asked me to tell you to take more vacations."

"Ba, humbug," Peter said as he rolled his eyes. "Remind me to pull a joke from my bag next time I see them."

"I'll be sure to do that," Carol purred as she brought his face to hers and began slowing and lovingly kissing him, letting herself get lost in the passion until...

"Captain America to all on duty Avengers, report to the Mansion for emergency mandatory meeting."

"Noooo....," Peter sighed as they separated at the sound of Cap's voice on Carol's comm.

"Sorry, Spider, duty calls."

"Fine," he pouted before smiling, giving her a warm hug. "Let me know what it's about & tell 'em I said hi."

"I think that in their book, that'd break the happy silence."

"Aren't you a bag of laughs..."

*Avengers Mansion, 10 minutes later*

Carol touched down on the mansion grounds at the same time her best friend Jessica, or Spider-Woman to SHIELD & the rest of the world, did.

"Carol!" Jess cried as she embraced her best friend. "What's new with you, huh? I haven't seen you in forever!"

"... Jess, we saw each other two nights ago; before you, Tasha, Clint and Bobbi were called in by Fury for that mission in the East. Remember?"

"Yeah, but that seems like forever ago," the British Avenger/SHIELD agent replied with a smirk. "Oh speaking of which, can you keep a secret? Guess what I found out. Bobbi is crushing on Clint."

"Wait what? But Clint's-"

"With Natasha, I know, and that really is upsetting for her. She asked my advice about it on the mission. Oh, don't tell anyone, ok?"

"Such a good friend you are, Jess," Carol smirked as the two made their way down the mansion hallways to the conference room. "But my lips are sealed."

"What's the seal for?" Logan's voice came as he joined them from his mansion quarters, walking with them to the meeting. "Actually- don't wanna know; better if I don't so I don' have to get involved in any way." The two women chuckled as the three of them entered the conference room and took their seats at the massive table.

Captain America, Tony Stark (Iron Man), Thor, Bruce Banner (the Hulk), Yellowjacket, Wasp, King T'Challa (Black Panther), Hawkeye, Black Widow, Vision, Scarlet Witch, Quicksilver, Falcon, She-Hulk,

Hercules, Tigra, Namor the Sub-mariner, Nova, Mockingbird, Wonder Man, Luke Cage, Dr. Strange, Iron Fist, Noh Varr (Protector), General Ross (the Red Hulk), Daredevil and now Ms. Marvel, Spider Woman & the Wolverine. The full roster of the pantheon of Earth's Mightiest Heroes was now assembled. The only one missing was the Amazing Spider-Man.

"Alright, everyone," Stark began. "Thanks for meeting here on such short notice."

"What's this about, Tony?" T'Challa interjected.

"There's been some... complaints as to how the Avengers are operating." At his words, everyone at the table was shocked.

"Who's been complaining?" Bobbi Morse asked. "I haven't heard anything from SHIELD, and Hill would definitely make sure that Clint, Natasha, Jessica & I would've known about this kind of thing-you know how she isn't so fond of us."

"Bobbi's right," Clint Barton added. "Fury may be in favor of superheroes and the like, but Hill still is against the notion of unsupervised superhumans and vigilantes-we'd have heard something." Carol couldn't help but notice that Bobbi slightly went a bit pink at Clint agreeing with her.

"Are governments and nations complaining about how we handle threats, how we operate?" Simon Williams asked.

"It's not so much as governments or the UN or even SHIELD," Steve Rogers spoke up. "More like... one government."

"This is about the motions going on in Congress," General Ross interjected. "I've been hearing the rumbling about this for some time."

"What rumblings?" Cage asked. "And what's going on in Congress?"

"Remember back when we took the Hood's Syndicate back last year in Los Angeles when Moon Knight asked for our help?" asked Stark. The whole team remembered-that had been a more difficult fight, one of many times the team's full roster had had to be called in. "Well, I'm sure you remembered that one lady who was kind of badly hurt during a tussle between Grey Gargoyle and Wonder Man, and she had come to us to pay for her medical expenses. The way she saw it, it was our fault that she ended up injured and that we should've been more careful. Naturally, I felt kind of bad-" at that the entire team rolled their eyes-"oh come on, I can be human too; anyways, the point is Stark Industries paid all her expenses in full, me taking the responsibility."

Vision cocked his head sideways. "I am not sure I fully understand how that relates, Iron Man."

"Well, it was supposed to be kept on the down low, Vision. But a few months ago, word got out... and suddenly, Stark Industries is bombarded with letters from the courts and lawsuits across the country, not just from regular people, but from businesses. It's starting waves of lawsuits against almost everything we do. The government got wind of this, and since then, Congress has been brewing up a storm on superhuman and vigilante activity across the country-how it's slowly becoming reckless and dangerous. They're even talking about mutant problems again."

Logan, Wanda, Namor & Pietro groaned at once. "I'll always be amazed at how it's always America who seems to have the problems with mutants, yet no other country seems to have it as bad," Wanda exclaimed.

"How bad are these lawsuits?" Banner asked.

"Not too bad; in reality, most of them aren't even accurate or founded in truth-and I'd like to thank Jenny and Matt here for their expertise in law for helping me and the company with that. The major problem is the government's response," Stark continued. "They are motioning for the Avengers to take more responsibility for the actions we take

as a team; and it's not just us they're going after-they've got their eyes on various heroes in the States-Moon Knight in LA, Scarlet Spider in Houston, those New Warriors, the FF, Punisher, Black Cat, other independent heroes....they're associating all of them with the Avengers, being we're the face of heroes on this planet."

"How's their stance on the X-Men, Stark?" Logan asked.

"I'm not exactly sure, but they seem to be moving against the various teams you guys have going-X-Force and those New Mutants-"

"Hey; X-Force rarely does anything in America without Slim's or my approval... well, I can't speak for Deadpool, but you know what I mean. The New Mutants are just kids we're raising and training up to be the next generation of heroes. We've made sure up to now-"

"That's what they're worried about," Ross interjected. "Up to now; from what I've heard, they're questioning the Avengers having mutants on the team, especially Namor and Wanda, being how powerful they are."

"They dare question my motives? They should tread carefully," the Atlantean monarch mumbled.

"Not just you Namor-they're worried about the number of mutants taking residence up in San Francisco since the mayor opened it up as a safe haven; they're worried the X-Men may lead them in some revolution."

"Look, that's just one of the problems," Steve continued. "Congress is looking at all our past incidents here in the nation-Hulk's mind control under MODOK and his resulting rampage in Vegas, our LA Syndicate grudge match, our last battle with Magneto's Brotherhood; and they're also looking at other incidents... like Spider Island, the FF's near accidental destruction of Manhattan, the time the New Warriors almost blew up Stanford in their fight against Nitro..."

"There seeking to control us, aren't they?" Dr. Strange asked.

"I think so."

"They can't do that!" She-Hulk said. "The Avengers are an internationally supported team, and we have authority granted by the UN; we're backed by SHIELD & SWORD! Hell, the mansion grounds are considered international territory. Alpha Flight & Excalibur aren't bothered with this kind of thing. They think they can try to control us?!"

"In essence, they can try-the majority of us here are still US citizens. The only ones they can't touch are Thor, Hercules, Namor and Panther; maybe our resident SHIELD agents can get away, since... well, they work for SHIELD."

"So is that an alternative?" Carol asked. "We have to work for SHIELD to avoid all this?"

"No." Cap's voice was firm and commanding. "The Avengers work for no one. We go anywhere in the world where we're needed, even if it's Latveria. The government has no right to try and control us, because what we do is give back to the world best we can with what the world's given us." This seemed to calm the team down a bit.

"I just want to ask everyone that they be a bit more careful out there, avoid as much collateral damage as possible and whatnot, and just be overall the best you can be," Stark said. "It's getting annoying to deal with all these lawsuits. Carol, I'm sure I can count on you to relate this to Peter, right?"

"Yeah of course; although," Carol said, a smile creeping onto her face, "knowing him, he's probably already messing it up somewhere." At that, everyone laughed.

*Somewhere in the Lower East Side, NYC*

"I'm sorry... what?"

"You heard me-I want reimbursement! Someone's gotta pay for what happened to my restaurant!"

"Dude, why are you asking me? I just beat the bad guys up! Don't you have insurance for this kind of thing? I mean, it happens, like, every day out here."

Spider-Man was having a bit of a problem-swinging to Midtown, he happened across a robbery in progress, and being the responsible hero he was, came in and taught the thugs a few manners. Of course, they tried to fight back, shooting and stuff, but Peter was just too damn quick for them, and in only few minutes and jokes later, the thugs were taken down. Police were now taking them away, and he was just about to be on his way... when the restaurant owner demanded he pay him back for all the damages.

"You should be telling those guys to pay you back!" Spider-Man said as he pointed to thugs being pushed into the armored vehicle headed for Ryker's. "They DID try to rob your store!"

"Yeah, but they weren't shooting or anything! They were just taking money and they'd have left-then you show up and ruin everything, they shoot the place up and trash my restaurant! I should sue you!"

"Right... ok. Listen, I got to go now, so you keep suing passing heroes that save your life and I'll just go back on my way." With that, Peter swung off, with the restaurant owner yelling after him, "THE BUGLE WAS RIGHT ABOUT YOU, WEB FREAK!"

'Sue me? What's there to sue me for?,' Peter mused to himself as he arrived at Midtown and ducked in an alley to change to civilian clothes. 'I barely have any money to my name; I'm doing overtime at Horizon and freelancing as much as possible for Jolly Jonah to get enough money for this.' Exiting the alley and mingling with the populous, he checked his jacket pocket. 'Ok, envelope & cash are still here. Ok, Parker, time to go hunting.' With that, Peter began his third day of searching through Manhattan's best jewelry stores.

*Avengers Mansion, an hour later*

Carol and Jess sat in the lounge, watching a rerun marathon of one of the most popular shows in the country, based off one of the world's most popular comics.

"I loved T-Dog," Jess frowned. "He was awesome, and that was just a bad way to kill him off. I swear, those stupid prisoners... but I still love The Walking Dead."

"Can you imagine if a zombie apocalypse actually broke out in real life? The chaos that'd be caused; what if some of our own were infected?"

"Oh come on, Carol, like THAT'D ever happen; Wolverine heals from everything, we have two gods on the team... must I go on?" The two laughed, realizing that if a zombie apocalypse did ever happen, it wouldn't stand a chance against the superheroes of Earth. "So, how's my male counterpart?"

"He's alright, doing his thing, being bored out there, being all mine," Carol answered with one of her rare luminous smiles; Peter's name always brought a smile and happy memories to her mind. "He's visiting his... aunt tonight."

Jessica was quick to notice the faltering in Carol's voice. "Carol, don't tell me the woman still makes you nervous?"

"She's so sweet and loving, don't get me wrong, and we get along just fine-but that warning she gave me the first night I met her... I've never been so scared in my life. Seriously, if it was you, you'd feel the same way."

"I doubt it; I'd just manipulate her into liking me instantly."

"Of course you would," Carol replied with a smirk. "You always want to take the easy way."

"I'll have you know, Ms. Danvers, that I am very-"

"Ho Spider Woman, Ms. Marvel." Both women turned to see Thor standing at the doorway, his hammer in hand and a fierce grin on his face. "There is trouble brewing upon the streets, and the locals have asked for our assistance. What say you, maidens, are you ready for a battle?"

"Oh yeah, Thor," Carol replied, her eyes glowing. "I'm ready for some action."

*Avengers Conference Hall*

Steve and Tony had remained behind in the conference hall, looking at the various documents, forms and digital files of every lawsuit, complaint and government ordinance that Congress had sent them about their activity in the country.

"Tony, I know what I said to give the team a bit of support," Steve remarked. "But to be honest, I have a bad feeling about where this is headed."

"Honestly, Steve," Stark replied somberly. "I kind of feel the same way."

[galaxionart]

Things to know:

-I am a trans man. Deal with it. 🏳️‍⚧️

-This went from October 31st to three days ago.

-I am still dealing with the effects of withdrawal from HRT so if it’s a bit off-kilter, that’s why.

-This is mainly a post to help me cope with everything that happened. If you act like shit on this post you will be removed and blocked.

-The other reason is I never want another person to go through what I have and speak out if it does or has.

-I have been on HRT for nine years without interruption. So having it gone for even a month has an intense effect.

- I don’t want to name the lab I went to. I’m not proud of what happened and have been to better ones in the area that have been resentful of that location.

-My dad has been helping me with multiple tasks. I’m able to take care of myself however mental illness is still a big problem in my life. He’s willing to help when things become to much. I should have asked for a ride from instead but I didn’t. That’s on me.

-All of this is true. This isn’t a copy pasta or some stunt. People have harassed me on Reddit about this. I have deleted my account and will never be returning.

-I know Reddit is an obvious pool of toxicity. I guess I wasn’t thinking clearly at that time.

So a month ago, I went to a lab for blood work to get my testosterone prescription. The prettiest way to put it is that I had a panic attack which the employees legitimately (they said it to my face) believed I was having a temper tantrum and they kicked me out. Probably because I was trying to get everything done as much as I could before I had the insurance cabbie leave and I’d have no way to get home. I was then informed that no order was ever put in (which was bs and them wanting me to get out as confirmed by my prescriber WAY too late.)

No problem right though right? Just get another order and go to a different area. HA, no. Because I was told the order wasn’t for that lab at any location. So I thought I had to get a new one. I think now is the time to bring up my prescriber: Planned Parenthood.

For the next few weeks I called every number I could for them to get an answer about what was going on. I was never called back or given the answer of “I don’t know what happened then let me look into it.” and wait a week and have to call THEM back.

Finally I was told the order was right and went and got everything done. I swear I cried in my dad’s car after because this was finally over and could finally not feel like my body was finally mine again. I’d been weeks since I had any hormones and the dysphoria became too much to bare.

Planned Parenthood lost the lab results. Why? Oh they were trying to get a MyChart going and they lost nearly all the information they had for me in the system. My HRT prescription? Gone. Any records of my appointments on telehealth or medical information? Gone. I didn’t know that and had to endlessly call AGAIN knowing nothing.

Holy hell did I loose it. It had been a month now and I was angry, depressed, dysphoric to an unhealthy degree. I was ready to give up. If my dad didn’t check on me that I don’t know what would have happened. We had to call a social worker to ever get an employee to not brush everything off or hang up.

THAT was when I was told everything was lost and they wanted me to drive a mile to their “office” to get a blood test there. I said fuck it and took the next appointment in three days. Next day I was told they moved my appointment to the next week. I don’t know why.

The social worker called them again to move it up. And only then was I called by a doctor at Planned Parenthood for the first time. She apologized for everything, that they were changing things and said to come for a walk in blood test that day at their location. After that they would give the five months of Testosterone that they never gave or told me existed.

My dad drove us all the way there and we were stopped at the door locked with an intercom there. We said we were there for a walk in- SORRY BUT MY MANAGER SAYS WE ARE’NT TAKING ANYMORE WALK INS TODAY.

Excuse me?! No. My dad tried to explain we were scheduled to have a walk in lab- NO WE AINT TAKING ANYMORE WALK INS TODAY.

I said with as much gusto as I could manage: WE’RE HERE TO SEE DR._ HEARD OF HER?!

Silence.

GIVE ME A SECOND…OKAY Y’ALL CAN COME IN AN HAVA SEAT.

We walk in and say we’re here for a scheduled walk in visit.

“I know but have a seat.”

Apparently NO YOU DID’NT. But our butts sat in most disheveled, disgusting waiting room I had ever seen. There were even used face masks next to an open jar of condoms. My dad used the restroom and I stood near the desk because I didn’t want to sit back on the gross furniture…until I was told I needed to sit down because standing in the cramped room was an invasion of patient privacy.

Apparently this piss pot was so small that right near the huge front and side desks was the door to every doctor’s office-there were only two. I don’t mean only two we’re working they only had two doctors in the entire place. They had lost over half their doctors since I last came in.

Over half the people there were secretaries. Remember how no was giving me any information or calling me back? What the fuck.

Dad comes back just in time for the front desk woman no.1 to get some private information from said out loud and a bunch of digital signatures on a dinosaur credit card signature taker. Yes they raked my dad for disclosure of information and I’m not going to say how all that played out.

We sat back down. Waited. Waited. And finally the doctor came out! Yeah it was a nurse. Now after all this shit my dad was ready to figure out what the fuck happened to make this so damn difficult and ready to speak to the doctor…he never saw her one time. No matter how many times this man explained what was happening and he wanted to know what went wrong exactly, well, he never found out.

So I go with the, actually quite kind, nurse and sit in a dirty office room. All I can say is that the examination chair in the corner was stained with faded brown…something. And my doctor finally came to see me face to face. The only thing she said was she was the one who’d contacted me, when was my most recent blood test and if I wanted to check my testosterone levels. No apologies or information just a shit eating smile plastered on her face. I said flatly: I’m not doing that to the last question and that smile fell off her face fast. The woman looked like I just told her to go fuck herself and die in a fire.

Bitch left. And the nurse clearly knew something was wrong and tried as hard as possible to try and lift my spirits. I appreciate her doing so though the finger she did the test with was bleeding profusely until hours after getting home.

We left and drove home. I told my dad I saw the doctor. He seemed hopeful until I brought down the mallet of disappointment that she basically explained Jack shit. We shut up, went home and got the meds the next day.

I understand that Planned Parenthood and the companies it works with do a hell of a lot of good. But honestly, this was unacceptable. These buttfucks shouldn’t be employed at PP. No fucking PP should be in that shitty of a condition. I’m taking all the medication I can and I’m going to a professional in January. Even my dad was done with their shit and is willing to let me use plume for $100 a month if anything happens until then. I don’t want that place to ever see me or my money or take anymore of my time and self esteem again. I realize that they need help and if you have a PP that deserves donations please do! But please understand that I can’t support them after this. Not even the companies working with them. The start of all of this was my fault. I get that and I take full responsibility for that. Everything else falls on them. You cannot change my mind. And because I truly don’t care about them anymore:

Go fuck yourselves you selfish lazy greedy assholes. Thanks for making my life hell for a month and never do this to another trans man ever again.

[saltocean]

does anyone even go here anymore

hello to anyone who reads this

though i don’t think anyone will because most of who i follow and who follows me has once again abandoned this site sadly...

just ten years ago when i was a spunky 11 year old pretending to be 13 on this site, thinking it was any older and any more wise, trying to make friends and i used to actually put myself out here with a personality on this site??

i’ve been thinking a lot (not typically a good thing) and i have a lot to say that i simply could not write down because i handwrite very slow but that i wanted to put out into the world 

almost like to say (hey! i did say that, look at the date on that post!)

but then on every other platform i have i get too scared because i’m like oh that’s too cringe

but i thought if i go here i can’t really complain because 1. probably no one is 2. i feel like i would be judged a lot less if i post here than anywhere else though ironically i stopped going on this site because i felt like it was too much to manage having an aesthetic up (how the heck did i make my theme like that and have blogrolls and stuff?? sometimes i really despise myself for accidentally deleting it the first time around by accident)

here it goes

the rant of a 21 year old who knew more of what she wanted as a ~tween~ than what she has at reach now

it honestly isn’t that interesting but sometimes it’s just the feeling of reading someone’s diary that could be so full of potential, so this is it:

i hate the way i live right now. it feels so mind-numbingly miserable and i feel like it’s very much not how life is meant to be lived. i only have bursts of moments where i feel excited to live the next day but for now i’m just doing what i’m supposed to because life has just gone this way for me. i’m taking classes i really don’t care about just because it has to be done and over with and because i dedicated the last 4 years of my precious early adulthood to it, though i don’t remember most of the time. 

i hate that i spent being 18-20 thinking i was incredibly old and passionless and done for when i know if i knew what i did now i would’ve started sooner and perhaps felt maybe less like hopeless for my future. i don’t even know if i what i like right now is genuinely what i like because at 17 i thought that s*ciol*gy was the thing for me and i so incredibly regret it now. i see people younger than me accomplishing so much and i feel so behind and regretful of things i never capitalized on that i could’ve. 

i know that social media is an incredibly deceptively harmless poison, but it’s the tool that has ironically kept me optimistic through presentation. i know not everyone who posts their gloriously peaceful lives genuinely are without flaw or stress, but i miss sunlight a lot. it’s so depressing to go to a class i have no interest in while the sky is only ever grey or rainy. i often think about how 17 year old me would wake up at 6:30am to go to school five days a week in my first term of university, and i know that’s because it was so similar to the life i led in high school. but now, i whine and complain about going once a week to a class where the prof is so kind and understanding and does his best to make sure everything is straightforward. my other two classes are creative writing and easily are my favourite any other term of my academic career. but i still feel miserable and i hate complaining because it could be so much worse. it’s genuinely not that bad but it feels like every second that i become aware of what my current routine is, i can’t seem to fathom how bleak things look. 

some people my age have their lives planned and already know what they want to do a year from now. i get it, we’re 21 and we’re supposed to graduate this year. but besides my graduation being a year delayed, i know nothing at all and nothing that i would even want to do. my post-grad options don’t look too good and i can’t imagine giving the rest of my life to any of those lifestyles of research and data entry. 

when i think about summer, i remember how the sun came into my living room wall at golden hour and the way i could leave my balcony door open. kids were still playing outside, and at the time, it was a privilege that me, also a kid, would spend all my time watching TV instead of doing extracurriculars or something similar. i think about how as a teen, it meant super late nights at 1 am with the blinds up and a midnight sky seemingly an endless dark black hole until you open the window and you can hear as much life outside as in. it’s watching white butterflies in my backyard while my mom puts up laundry to dry in the june sun right as i get home from school and realizing i still have time to nap before dinner.

this is the only thing i am holding on to for now because without it i have no motivation to get out of bed. i feel like life is that perfect moment there of me in that summer moment remembering it as just a heated summer and nothing more and how perfect it was to be 15 years old training back at 10 pm after meeting my idol at the time. i wish that my life could be more of that again rather than thinking everyday how unhappy i am and simultaneously being paranoid that it could be worse. but i know life can be so much more even if it’s so much simpler because i had days by the water on the dock, just admiring the sunset change. i know that’s what life is and what it can be instead of this. 

i feel regretful constantly putting myself on autopilot mode to try to drive away the stressors i have and get through the period that i find rough, and i wish that i could wake up everyday more excited for the next because i know it’s exhilarating and new. i hated doing this in year 1 when i was 18 and yet i’ve been 20 and doing it at 21 wasting my life just praying the time away because i’m so stressed. i’m selfishly and stupidly envious and jealous of the 17-20 year olds who recognize that they want to appreciate their age and that i couldn’t do the same and that i’m probably doing the same now. it feels like i’m permanently stuck from who i was in march 2020 and i’m scared i’ll never grow to be better than i was then and become happier to a point where me then would be shocked or jealous of where i am now. 

idk i feel insane omg 

as usual i also had more to say and better things to say to explain what i did write, but i forgot it in the middle of typing ! 

minor things i’ll happily complain about

- they took away 21 by dean on instagram by the time i turned 21 so i couldn’t add it to my ig story on my birthday lol

- two of my bedsheets shrank because i think they were supposed to be air dried but ?  ? ?? 

- i can’t hang my clothes to dry outside because there’s new housing units that block the natural light to my backyard now lul

- my favourite pho place by my house is gone :( the owner was so nice i never got to say thank u and goodbye bc it went down for renovation over the new year and then suddenly just was announced a new restaurant would take its place like ok.

but i also hope that once this period of grey unknowing passes, or even during the cloud of uncertainty, i can find the same sort of summer moments all year around to bring that same light and warmth and i hope i find my passions and am doing something that makes me happy a year from now idk 

idk can be good now

(cue the “the scary news is ur on ur own now . the cool news is ur on ur own now!” that’s the type of energy i sense from idk what i’m doing with my life but it also opens me up to a lot so i hope i can find something for me) :]

also it’s like kinda dumb but like i’ve been following these daily diary tiktok accounts and like people who started their own youtube channel even with like a couple viewers and it made me want to do it because i don’t have much going on in my life ngl but sometimes i have stuff to say and i’m like well might as well make cute lil videos out of it bc sometimes i feel like it’s pretty like the day it snowed really hard and stuff and when i wanna do these rants idk

i also have that youtube channel i made in grade 12 for the titanic game but i never posted after the app got discontinued and now i wanna post game stuff on it bc i still have some subscribers on that that i would hope would want to watch me play stuff even just for funsies idk cus i’m like well . what if they’re mean or what if they don’t like it but i grew up watching let’s play youtubers and i was never mean and i was like what if they all unsubscribe bc they signed up for titanic game / mobile app game stuff not this horror pc game stuff but . at this point they’ve been subscribed to a dead channel since 2019 and others did unsub (me pretending like it doesn’t hurt my ego that i saw it peak at 51 and now it’s like 45 or something even though i know i haven’t posted in forever lol) but like .. also those girlies on tiktok who posted their daily vlogs were like. “do it! do what u want to, start that channel or business you’ve been thinking of” and i’m like so true!! ok i will!! what’s the harm !! it’s just my vods anyways right !!

idk!!!!

end rant gahhhhh!!!!

[avocado-frog]

Dahlia. 10

sorry about the spam posting i'm trying to get caught up. curses to everyone who voted "update dahlia" on the make me write tag

I keep posting these and forgetting the link lmao -Ao3 link

-It's the Leo backstory chapter!!

-I spent a whole goddamn hour trying to make sure this lined up with the timeline

Segment one- 7/29/2008 -The twins are five, the triplets are about three months old -Using Leo's full name felt like I was writing an entirely different character -My confession is that this chapter was written back in May, and I didn't learn to play go fish until two weeks ago when a six-year-old beat me four times (she was cheating) -It's edited to make it less obvious that I didn't know how to play go fish when I was writing it. I thought it was like solitaire?? As if a game for little kids would be like solitaire ever at all?? -Olivia>>

Segment two- 4/2/2009 -Twins are six now -They just got stolen -"She could count on one hand the amount of times she'd even seen her aunt, and that was impressive, because she could count really high up." Baby Leo <3 she can count to like 80

Segment three- 4/5/2009 -Logan and Lily!!! Love them -Logan's probably around 13, Lily's 5 -The way I forgot Logan had a sister -The way I also forgot that Lily's full name is Lilith

Segment four- 4/10/2009 -OH THANK GOD it was physically paining me to write Leonie -(chewing on drywall) they gave each other nicknames and they kept those nicknames even though Leo forgot everything else and-

Segment five- 5/14/2011 -The twins are eight now -Logan, Jasmine, and Lily all left and if the twins hadn't forgotten then they'd have grown up thinking that they were dead anyways :(

Segment six- 5/30/2011 -Leo was out for like two weeks -Emily (derogatory) -Oh No

Segment seven- 9/29/2011 -The twins are color-coded red and green -THEY'RE BOTH AFRAID OF LOUD NOISES AND THEY DONT REMEMBER WHY GEGEGRGRGGR -Autistic Leo real -So it's canon that their magic develops after a big stress and Leo's was after one day at school and honestly-

Segment eight- 10/23/2011 -Their ninth birthday!! -Kai debut the littlest guy ever -He's like. eight i think

Segment nine- 10/17/2013 -It says age ten but it's a week before they're eleven -Leo got into a fight for attention -emily for the love of god pay attention to your hostage she's about to develop a personality disorder -Marcy's brief cameo <3

Segment ten- 11/19/2014 -The twins are twelve -The twins are no longer friends also -Leo almost gets arrested -"That was what she wanted, wasn't it?" NO -How obvious is it that i don't know card games

Segment eleven- 6/17/2016 -The twins are thirteen -Girl you GOT him!! he's fucking dead!! that was unnecessary!!! -ASPD Leo is real

Segment twelve- 10/31/2018 -They're sixteen -Forget-me-not canon

Segment thirteen- 1/14/2019 -Leo's dynamic with the kids >>> -"Snowmen, I'm familiar with the concept." -Leo says "hold your horses" -ELLIOT!! Alive and well!! He demands apple cider -Sam wants to be like his sister :((

Segment fourteen- 3/20/2019 -I'M SORRY!! -Leo's beef with Jaxon sort of explained -Leo's just trying to find someone to blame

Segment fifteen- 4/20/2019 -The fight :( -Leo leaves

Segment sixteen- 5/11/2019 -Ryan's nightmare but Leo is too Leo to know what to do about it -"Silently, she cursed the weather for doing this to him."

Segment seventeen- 10/23/2019 -Coincidentally the seventeenth segment is the twin's seventeenth birthday -Hope you're excited for the Cass backstory chapter when I parallel the shit out of this

Segment eighteen- 6/14/2020 -They're still only seventeen -Anyways: the present -Dylan and Ryan are basically possessed by Elliot right now so that's cool -Leo has to deal with it tho -There was a deleted segment where Leo used to play softball to explain the baseball bat she uses, but I don't know shit about softball and didn't want to try. Anyways, Leo played softball in 7th grade -Leo finally calls the others, does not mention the part about the kids being possessed

[rayofsunas]

s/o has a mental/nervous breakdown.

A/n: hello everyone! I hope your day is going alright, and that you’re doing well 🥰 I recently hit 300+ folllwers, like Sunday morning, and omg, that was the best thing to wake up too 🥺❤️ thank you those new and old for following and taking a chance with my account and sometimes trashy works 🙃 I’m gonna make a longer post at some point saying my thanks and discuss what I plan to do to celebrate 300 followers. It would really mean a lot to me if you guys chimed in if you have any ideas, after all, this is a thanks to you and I want you all to be involved! also, if you saw my recent rambles about how a draft was deleted, it’s referring to this post... what I had written got deleted TWICE in the span of FIVE MINUTES. gosh I was so pissed, I almost screamed. mobile tumblr is not it 😔 but here we are. I hope you like this. I tried to write this three times.... 🤡 also, since I am not a doctor or anything, I put a link to possible symptoms/what a “mental breakdown” is, that’s in the warnings, just click the link, it helped with my accuracy. 

Summary: s/o has a mental/nervous breakdown.

Parings: Xiao/Reader, Scaramouche/Reader, Albedo/Reader, Childe/Reader (all fem reader)

Warnings: angst, mental breakdown (panic attacks, stress, anxiety, ptsd, hallucinations, insomnia) fluff, swearing, mentions of death, mentions of injury

Word count: 3.5k (whew after tumblr DELETING this draft twice here we are folks ;-;)

requested by @mintyhuening​ 

​

Xiao

he knew you weren’t okay at all

Xiao knew the moment you locked yourself in your house

at first he thought maybe you were just temporarily feeling this way, but as the weeks passed and you hadn’t come out, he decided maybe not

coming from someone who enjoyed silence and solitude he could understand the distancing part, but it had been weeks, and even he needed socialization, so why hadn’t you come out?

you spoke to him through the door a few times, letting him know you were alright

he didn’t believe that though, sure you were alive, but not alright, he was mainly checking for confirmation to see if you were still alive while he thought of a good way to approach the situation

he didn’t want to invade your privacy, but he also hated the fact that you wouldn’t come out, not even to see him

it was lonely without you, he concluded

even for someone who enjoy solitude 

you were a careful creature, but never this careful and cautious...

were humans always like this?

eventually, he couldn’t stand it, and did find other ways to get into your house

he grew antsy after pacing outside your door for days

he found you huddled in your bed, a heap of pillows and blankets surrounding you

you were shocked to see him when he’d sat down on the foot of the bed, causing it to dip significantly 

“How did you get in?” You snapped once you saw who it was. 

“I have my ways.” He said raspily. With a huff of annoyance, you were back to facing the wall, away from the Adepti. 

“It’s dark in here.” He announced matter a factly, looking around the nearly pitch-black room, windows and doors covered by sheets and hefty duty curtains. “It’s how I like it.”

“It’s not healthy.”

“I don’t care, go away.”

Xiao was starting to grow impatient surprisingly, he truly just wanted to help, why couldn't you see that?

“Being passive is not going to help the situation, please tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing, I’m just tired.”

He worried. If he said the wrong, would you push him away even further? If he said the right thing, would you even care? Did you want help?

Xiao moved closer to you, hand going to touch your leg, although it was underneath the blankets, you felt it and did have to admit the affection was comforting.

“Don’t do this to yourself,” Xiao said. “Your friends miss you, I miss you as well.”

Maybe if you weren’t cooped up here anymore, you would start to come around. The room and house all together were very stuffy, dark, and depressing, he despised it.

“It’s beautiful outside, come with me,” he'd whispered. “At least if you don’t want to be around people, could you allow me to take you to a secluded area?”

“The fresh air will do you good.”

You were thinking about it, you had to of been if you still cared. 

“Fine, mother.” He watched with hope in his eyes as you slowly rose from the bed, and began

The outside world was very very bright at first, enough to induce a headache. But you became used to it the more you were out.

Xiao stayed true to his word like you knew he would unless you wouldn’t have come. You were taken to a very secluded area, there wasn’t even a path or road to it, just green luscious grass, and crystal core everywhere, beautiful blue and orange ones; Anemo and Geo respectively. You weren’t sure where you were, somewhere between Mondstadt and Liyue, you assumed. 

The fresh air did wonders, Xiao had noticed. You seemed to open up. Telling him a little of the problem. You had told him about how life was just stressful right now, you hadn’t taken any commissions in weeks, spoken to any of your friends Mondstadt, hence why they had come to him, accusing him of kidnapping and brainwashing you. He was offended, nonetheless let them know that wasn’t the case. 

The ever so secluded Xiao would take you out more, slowly introducing you to crowds of people, and would still take you on daily walks to that secret place you now called your special spot.

It would take a while, he knew that, and you wouldn’t be comfortable doing everything that others around you did, maybe not for a while. He could respect that, as long as you allowed him to help and encourage you.

Scaramouche

being a harbinger was HARD, Scaramouche knew that, even if he didn’t admit it

admitting it was challenging, could lead to always being doubted or seen as incompetent. therefore, no one mentions how hard it is

he had been off doing his duties when he got news that you had lashed out at a few lower rank fatui on your team, resulting in you being called in to meet with The Tsaritsa... let's just say she went easy on you because you were one of her highest ranking soldiers, if not, she would've severely punished you

you were forced back to your sleeping quarters immediately to calm down, told to stay put until you could stop “lashing out like a child” as she had put it

you weren’t one to argue against The Tsaritsa, everyone knew that was common rule... so you walked back as calmly as you could without snapping at anyone else

when Scaramouche had heard how you acted, he was annoyed

the always so calm and calculated Y/n, lashing out at her fellow members? he couldn’t help but be annoyed, despite it being completely out of character of you

he had finished his duties relatively quick, wondering why you were acting so out of character 

when he got back, he found you in your sleeping quarters, pacing in front of the large windows near the furthest end of your room

you were still wearing your typical combat gear, though your hair disheveled and body language looking extremely anxious, he hoped it was not yours...

“What did you do this time?” Had asked the violet-eyed man, carelessly throwing his hat on your bed, lean arms folding across his chest.

No response. 

“Excuse me, I believe I asked you a question.”

A loud irritable huff.

“Be quiet for once in your life, Scaramouche.” You hissed, anxiously biting at your nails. “Sorry- I’m just trying to calm down, but my heart can’t stop racing.”

Scaramouche wasn’t the most in-touch person with his feelings, and out of all the harbingers, he was one of the more difficult ones to deal with.

Surprisingly, he had shut up, despite finding it difficult to hold his malicious comment back.  

“What’s wrong?” Your lover asked, more softly this time. 

“My mission today was... hard. I know you said it’s important for missions to just be a one and done; no hard feelings. And you know I’ve always been that way. But this one was different.” His eyebrows furrowed, his forehead creasing in annoyance. 

“I can’t help but think about what they did.” 

“Did you get what you went for? I heard you sought after information regarding that Knight, Aether.”

“Yes, but-”

“I’d call that a successful mission,” He stared intensely, casually moving to sit on the comfort of your bed. Of course, he wouldn’t take this seriously. “Any casualties?”

“None of our men, but-”

“I don’t see the problem.”

“There were children, three little children, and those idiots just slaughtered them.”

“Ah... I see.”

Despite stating he understood, he really couldn’t sympathize with what you were saying. Those children were enemies as long as they worked against The Tsaritsa. 

Your voice suddenly cut through the silence, staring directly into his eyes, “What if those were our children?”

“They weren’t.” Your eyes rolled at his comment. 

“But what if!” He rolled his eyes, mocking your previous action. 

“But they weren’t.” He mocked for a second time.  

“You’re not helping, Scaramouche!”

“You’ll never understand, unless you see what I saw,” He knew you were right to some degree, but even then would he feel bad? A mission was a mission after all.

“They were begging me to protect them, and the youngest, she would not let go of my arm and then the next thing I knew, they were dead.” You continued, left hand going to grip your right, he assumed to show him where and how the said girl had gripped you. You were still shaking, this time being closer, he noticed how bad it was. 

“They were pleading, I told them I would try my best, and then-” He had long ago stood, making himself present in front of you. His warm hands had grabbed your shaking ones harshly, ceasing the trembling momentarily. 

“Please, be quiet,” The sixth harbinger snipped. “I don’t like seeing you upset.” Although it sounded harsh, he was trying his best to make it sound how he felt, even if those feelings were minuscule towards this specific topic. 

“Although, I don’t agree with you about this particular concern of yours- I will do whatever you need to help you.”

Albedo

now, he may just be an alchemist, but trust me, Albedo sees the signs before anyone, he has some sort of familiarity with them due to his incessant reading

and it may have taken him longer to see the signs because of how busy he was, but he saw them

he was no fool to the likes of insomnia, in fact he knew it very well, often staying up very late into the night and morning, sometimes for days at a time

he was cooped up in his lab and it wasn’t as if his body wasn’t tired, cause hell he was, there was just s much more to learn and discover, his brain WOULD not stop, 

Albedo hadn’t known how long this had been going on for, but he was seeing signs now

ngl, he didn’t notice that you hadn’t been sleeping properly until one night he decided to accompany you in bed earlier than usual (It was three a.m, yikes), and found that you were awake still

you were lying still on your side of the bed, and if it hadn’t been for the fact that he reached over to kiss your cheek, only to see your eyes open, he would’ve assumed you were alright and asleep

“You’re awake?” The ashy-blonde man asked, sliding into bed next to you. 

“Can’t sleep.” You shrugged nonchalantly, scooting closer to him, seeking his warmth and comfort. 

“You should’ve come to get me, I would’ve come to bed earlier with you.”

“It’s alright, I peeked in to see if you were still alive,” You joked, he chuckled. “You seemed very busy.”

“Yes, but, I thought I told you to remind me when you need attention, I often get sidetracked and enamored with my work.”

“It’s quite alright, Albedo. As long as you’re sleeping.”

He hummed, whispering tired words of adoration in your ear. That carried on for a while, as long as talking about the day's work and whatnot, until you eventually questioned, “Can I play with your hair?” The gesture was sweet, and that did sound amazing right about now since he was on the brink of sleep, but just needed that little push. But weren’t you tired?

“Aren’t you tired?”

You sat up, climbing behind Albedo, gently placing his head in your lap. “I’ll go after you.” A soft smile adorned your beautiful face. “You need sleep, you stay up for Archon knows how long.”

He selfishly allowed his eyes to close and waited for sleep to accompany him while you began untangling his two braids and ponytail. You played with and braided his hair until he’d fallen asleep as you said. You stayed up the rest of the morning though.

Eventually, probably out of boredom, you fell asleep for an hour or two around five a.m. Though, unfortunately, you were back up before six. You busied yourself while Albedo slept, starting with cleaning his lab. Albedo often did not like people touching his books, paperwork, and findings, but after instructing you how to properly take care of his stuff, he welcomed your help with open arms, seeing as though his lab was ALWAYS in shambles from not having enough time to take care of things himself.

Albedo surprisingly woke up around nine, wavy hair surrounding him like a lion, you chuckled to yourself at the sight. “How did you sleep?”

“Alright, considering my sleep schedule is nonexistent a lot of the time.” You nodded, bumping shoulders teasingly. “How about you?” 

“Okay,” You said, immediately changing the subject. “I woke up early, so I cleaned your lab, I hope it’s to your likings, Kreideprinz.” You teased, bowing at the waist.

The alchemist waved you off, with a smile. “We’ll see about your organizational skills after you eat.” 

How had he known?

“You haven’t eaten yet, have you?” Albedo asked, heading in the direction of the kitchen.

“That obvious.” You wondered trailing after him. 

“You always wait for me, darling.”

- 

“You look exhausted.” Albedo’s concerned voice cut in through the smooth Mondstadt breeze. You had been so distracted with the discovery in front of you, you hadn’t realized your boyfriend was staring directly at you. “When was the last time you slept?” He glanced back down at the discovery, still listening, but if you didn’t speak soon he’d be lost in his world again.

“A day or two, but-” Albedo probably got whiplash from how hard he’d snapped his head to face you, but now he was staring at you with features reading nothing but shock, cerulean eyes blown wide.

“I think your bad sleeping schedule is contagious.” You joked, trying to make the situation lighter-hearted. He didn’t laugh. 

Albedo was more serious this time, proving it when he faced you completely. “What’s been going on?” His voice was soft, but he was extremely worried. 

Nervousness built up in his lover's body. “Nothing! I just-” You sighed. Might as well tell him the truth, he’d coerce the answer from you no matter what it took. “It’s been harder to sleep after my injury from that ruin guard. When it hit me, I banged my head against the concrete, and ever since I guess it’s been hard to sleep.” 

“You could've told me sooner. I would have stopped everything and anything for you.” Yes, that was true, that was the problem though. You didn’t want to be coddled like a baby

“I know, I’m not sure why I didn’t... Naturally, I don’t want to worry you.”

He moved closer to you so he could cradle your face in his hands. “You can always tell me anything you know that.”

“I understand that. You’re a busy man so-”

“From this moment on, my work will be dedicated to finding a cure for you.”

You panicked, not wanting to stop his work for the likes of what you were dealing with. “What? Wait no-”

“You can’t stop me, darling. You take precedence over everything.”

Albedo made it his goal to do whatever possible to help you. Whether it be spending days in his lab making concoctions in hopes of creating something that could safely aid you with sleep. Or he’s in the libraries, reading all the books on the wellness and health of humans. He’s already on top of it the minute you expressed your concerns. In the meantime, he’s going to make sure he goes to bed with you much earlier, and won’t go until you do, to ensure you’re resting.

We love sweet caretaker Albedo.

(I understand insomnia can have other causes, not just a mental or nervous breakdown, but it’s kind of implied when reader hurt her head that she’s not well.)

Childe

Childe is simply not going to know your not well, he just won’t, it’s not that he doesn’t care, it’s more so the fact that he has a hard time paying attention to anything other than his missions and duties, he does not want to slow down

you have to show signs or tell him to realize

he decided to take a break though, seeing as he did promise you dinner tonight. he told you it would be his treat, since he did have a bunch of Mora lying around that he simply had no other use for

he figured a nice dinner and trip to one of the nicer cities with more to offer would be nice, he would buy you anything you desired

it was nearing the time for dinner though, and the reservations had already been made, so when he was left waiting, let's just say he was irked...

if you didn’t want to show up, you would’ve told him, so maybe you forgot? he concluded that couldn’t be it

the last time he’d brought it up, two days ago, you had been so excited you couldn’t sit still nor stop talking about it

asking a few people around town if you had been spotted anywhere, some said you had wandered off to Luhua Pool, something about there being a myth about special healing properties within the water

now he was even more confused

one, you NEVER went to Luhua Pool, there was never a need to do so

two, special healing properties? why would you need that? were you hurt in his absence?

you were his family, and he loved his family more than anything, so if something was wrong, he’d do whatever it took to help you

he traveled from Snezhnaya to Luhua Pool in record speed

he did find you eventually, the sun was setting, but thanks to the glowing water he could make your form out easily

you were hunched over, in what looked like to be some simple greenish cloth dress, he couldn’t see what you were doing, and called out your name

no answer

“Hey, what’re you doing here?” The orange-haired teen asked, crouching down beside his lover to see what was wrong.

“Cleaning.” You had said. That’s when his dull blue eyes traveled to what you were doing, watching with a confused stare as you scrubbed at what seemed to be clean hands.

“Hmm, I see...” He couldn’t tell if this was a prank or not, you usually played along with his teasing nature. “Are you ready for dinner?”

“Was that really today?” Your head lifted, leaving your hands to momentarily hanging in the air, water droplets dripping off into the pool.

Okay... so you did forget it seemed, which did shock him seeing as though you were over the moon, less than seventy-two hours ago.

“Uh, yeah, did you really forget? That’s unlike you! I’ve learned women don’t forget anything.” He teased, hand going to his chin. You hummed, turning back to do whatever it was you had been previously.

The harbinger frowned. “Do you still want to go? We can make it if we’re fast.” You sounded like a robot, much like a ruin guard, he concluded. 

“I’m sorry, not today, I’m dirty...”

Childe couldn’t help but chuckle, “Dirty? Sweetheart, you’re cleaner than most people I’ve seen, what’re you on about-” 

“The blood, it’s stained my hands, can’t you see?” Even after holding your hands to show him, he saw nothing resembling blood. 

“Are you playing games with me? Sure, it would’ve been funny any other day, not today though-” 

“You don’t believe me?” You sounded hurt, but whatever was going on, he wouldn’t feed into these... false hallucinations. “The townspeople said the same thing, they called me crazy...” You scrubbed even harder at your hands, letting out a frustrated huff. 

“I don’t see anything, I’m really sorry,” He said gently, reaching into the water to grasp your warm hands in his, “But if you continue to do that...I will see the blood.”

Childe was not sure what was going on, maybe some sort of PTSD? Although, he wasn’t sure where it could’ve come from... you’re not a harbinger or fatui, or anyone that is engaged in battle, etc. so it didn’t make sense. Unless something happened that decided to resurface now. 

He immediately took you home, hand in his to keep you from further scratching your hands. On the journey, you often asked, “Why are you even touching me? There’s a lot of blood.” 

He didn’t want to have to feed into whatever was going on, worried he’d damage you somehow, and he didn’t want to make you sound crazy, so instead he said, “Because I love you.”

When you both arrived home, he’d immediately laid you in bed, saying you appeared tired before going to search for a doctor.

Child will see every and all doctors in Teyvat and will pay whatever amount necessary to figure out what’s wrong, that’s for sure. Doesn’t take orders from the harbingers (not like he was anyways) and opts to stay close to you at all times. 

He decided to keep his teasing to a minimum, though he found that sometimes things slipped out accidentally, he’d do anything in his power to help you.

1.18.21, rayofsunas 

[leascorner]

j.b.b. | Marley

Summary: Eventually, Bucky gave his deepest secrets away and you let him know yours. Her name was Marley.

Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x single mom!reader

Warnings: Mention of past and present relationships, parenting, mention of food

Word Count: 3.7k

a/n: This is my first story posted on here. I’ve been writting for +12 years now but for the last couple of years, I couldn't finish a single story. Turns out Bucky Barnes was all I needed to get over my massive writer’s block. Feedback is greatly appreciated. (Also, english is not my native language so if you spot any grammar mistake, please let me know!)

Masterlist

It all began with his friend, Sam.

On a night they were out for drinks, he had made it his mission to find someone for Bucky. Someone or anyone for the matter. He talked to everyone in the bar that night, while Bucky drank his beer, sitting at the counter. When it was clear enough that nobody there that night would keep grumpy Bucky company, Sam turned his attention on the dating app his friend had downloaded on his phone some weeks ago. He probably went through a dozen of profiles, sometimes showing the phone screen to Bucky, to what he would just respond by rolling his eyes and drinking some more beer.

That was until Sam showed him your profile. Bucky stared a second longer to the picture displayed on his phone screen than for the others. He couldn't tell what that was: the smile on your lips, the wrinkles at the side of your eyes or simply your eyes; but he couldn't get his eyes off it. Sam immediately started typing a message for you to what Bucky obviously protested. He did not need company because he was just fine on his own.

Despite his super-soldier abilities, he wasn't quick enough to take the phone from his friend's hands. The smile that appeared on Sam’s face annoyed Bucky even more. "What are you afraid of, though guy?" Sam had asked and Bucky eventually backed off, letting him do whatever he was planning on doing. There was no point in stopping Sam. He knew you wouldn't be interested anyway... To be honest, who would be? Bucky got his phone back along with a smirk from his friend. There was no answer after that, and Sam eventually found another topic to annoy the heck out of Bucky.

When he woke up the next morning, your reply notification was patiently waiting for him. For a second, he thought of deleting it, without having a look first. What did he have to lose? Gathering his courage, he opened it. Your words were as genuine as your smile and it made him grin like an idiot, though he made a mental note to later murder Sam for his poor choice of pick-up line. It took him the whole morning to be able to type an answer and another afternoon to press the ‘send’ button. It was the first text of many. Eventually, a lot of texts turned into calls; that turned into meeting up in your favorite French bakery; that turned into movies and restaurant dates.

    This was nearly one year and a half ago.

Your relationship with Bucky was cautious and steady. He liked how you would give him his space, but still being right there for him. He liked that you let him stare at you in total awe or that you always had small kind thoughts for him like when you made his eggs the way he preferred in the morning and that everything was so simple - obvious even - by your side. Eventually, Bucky gave his deepest secrets away and you let him know yours.

Her name was Marley.

If Bucky was being honest, finding out you had a two and a half years-old daughter was quite the shock. Not that he couldn't have seen that coming; you would always make plans, your handbag was always full of snacks and hand wipes and for some reason, you would never be available between five and eight p.m. That was also what he liked about you. The stability.

The idea of being involved in a relationship with somebody that already had a child did scare him off. If he decided to continue the relationship, it would not only be a matter of breaking your heart in the process – and well, maybe his too - but breaking a child's heart too. And that more than anything, he was refusing to assume the responsibility, but he owed you that much. You knew his deepest secrets and still, you didn't run away from him. Worse, you trusted him to be around your child.

You both had a lot of discussions about him meeting Marley - Bucky even seek advice to Sam. And as for the rest of your relationship, you took it slow. It started with Bucky showing up to your Sunday walk in Central Park, feeding up the ducks and sharing snacks. You also spent some time at the carnival where he would watch you two on the carousel – sometimes joining the ride too - and he would help Marley win at pick a duck or buy her popcorn. Eventually, he would spend more time with the two of you. It started with spending at least one evening per week at your place, making dinner while watching you playing with Marley in the living room. One evening turned into two, three, five evenings per week. He still could step out if he needed. You still could spend time with your daughter where he wasn't there. You still spent time just the two of you, when Marley was asleep at night or he would take you on date nights. The routine you three put in place was nice, but Bucky wasn't planning on taking Marley’s dad place. God, he would never see himself as a dad and Marley already had one - though in Bucky's opinion, he would not be awarded father-of-the-year.

    Today, Bucky was picking Marley up from daycare.

He had done it a million times already, but this time was a little bit different. He was doing it on his own. The babysitter stood you up and you were stuck in an endless one-day meeting. You had called in utter panic, asking him to pick Marley up from daycare and taking care of her until you would be home. He had assured you he would do it and it would be fine. Now that he was standing in front of the building, he was doubting himself. He didn't know if he could do it on his own.

Another shaky sigh and Bucky entered the building. The childcare workers greeted him when he showed up at Marley's room. She was sat at one of these tiny tables making some kind of collage crafts. He planned on waiting for her to finish, just staring like he always did, before announcing himself, but Marley spotted him the second his figure appeared at the door.

"Bucky!" Marley cried out, leaving everything behind and running towards him.

"Hey Mar-Mar," he smiled. She always seemed happy to see him and Bucky wondered if she would eventually grow tired of him being always around.

After they hugged each other, Marley was called to put away her crafts and Bucky encouraged her to go do it. In the meantime, he collected her stuff - her panda backpack, shoes, and coat - so he could get her ready to leave. And he did just that when she got back to him.

"We are taking the train home. I'mna carrying you, is that okay?"

She wrapped her little arms around his neck in response and he lifted her up from the floor. After sharing goodbye to the childcare workers, they were heading home.

    On their way to the station, Marley explained in every detail what she had done at daycare that day; Bucky was listening carefully, sometimes asking questions - Carol, she is the one with the curly hair, right? Was Mark mean to you again? - but mostly he was just nodding along. They made it to the station just in time to take the 5:17 p.m. train. It was rush hour and Bucky mindfully chose to hop on one of the cars at the end of the train - the ones he knew would be the less busy at this time of the day. He had only seven stops, so he didn't sit and stood against one of the train windows. By that time, Marley had finished reporting on her day, and she was just watching around, smiling at anyone she would make eye contact with.

After the second stop, her eyes caught the sight of the dog tag around Bucky's neck. She fiddled it through his T-shirt, probably wondering what that was, before taken it out to have a closer look. In her tiny hands, the metal tag seemed to be huge. She looked up at Bucky, with bright eyes and he swore, he would do anything for these eyes.

"What is that?"

"Uh- " Bucky wasn't sure how to explain it in a way a three-years old would understand. "-Every soldier has one. It uh- has my name on it and some other information."

"Is it if you get lost?" she asked, her little eyebrows raised high on her forehead. She did understand a lot of the world around her for her age. "Mommy put a card with her name and her phone number in my bag."

"Yeah, it's something like that."

Marley smiled at him and returned her attention on the letters’ reliefs on the metal. By the fourth stop, she was resting her head on his shoulder while he was still firmly (but not too much) holding her with his left arm. She kept holding his dog tag in her tiny fist and was patiently waiting.

"She is very sweet," the old lady sat on the seat in front of them said to him before leaving the train.

He nodded shyly and looked back at the little girl in his arms. Marley looked so much like you. Her face had still some baby features, she just turned three after all, but she had the same nose and her eyes had the same color as yours. They were the same piercing eyes that when they’d look at him, he felt like they could read his soul. And she did not just look like you. She had also some of your habits and personality traits. She would always be smiling to people she didn’t know. She was always saying ‘thank you’ or ‘sorry’. She was obsessed with any kind of animal; the Sundays walks would last forever if she could pet all the dogs she encountered.

The rest of the ride was quiet, and Bucky got off the train on the seventh stop as planned. At the station, people turned on them as they passed. Maybe this was an odd sight: a man in combat boots, dark jeans, and a black leather jacket, carrying a small child in his arms. Especially knowing the kid in question was wearing white leggings, a red fluffy coat, and a stuffed panda backpack. Bucky didn't mind and continued his way to your place.

    Marley stayed quiet for the five minutes’ walk to your place, but once Bucky had turned on your street, she wriggled to be freed of his hold. Once her feet touched the ground, she directly ran towards a car parked not far away. She squatted down and started clicking her tongue. A ginger cat immediately came out from underneath the car.

"Careful," Bucky called out. He knew it was not recommended interacting with stray cat as they could be sick with all sorts of disease. And to be fair, it got him a little worried the cat was getting this close to Marley. He could already see her getting bitten by the cat, getting rabies, and losing her arm, or worse: dying.

"That's Gus, he lives at number 7," she said pointing at the building they stopped in front. It had the number written on it.

Gus started rubbing itself against Marley's shins and she gently petted his back. The cat then went to rub on Bucky's combat boots, also greeting him even though they never encountered before. And it continued his way to the building's porch, where it lazily lay down.

"Mommy said we could have a cat when we get a house."

"I've got a cat," Bucky stated and Marley cried out in excitement. She asked him about a hundred questions. What was its name? What was it looking like? Was it friendly? Was it sleeping in his bed with him at night? Bucky never failed to answer one of her questions and they talked about that until they made it in front of your apartment door.

    Marley was already on her way to her room when Bucky turned around after locking the door. She had removed her shoes and coat on her own and left them behind without putting them away like you would always request it.

"Uh-uh, we go wash your hands first, okay?"

After that was done, she ran to her room for good this time. Bucky went back to the living room and focused on what he could do to help you. He knew you would get home exhausted from your day at work and he did not want to have you do all the chores you usually did. It was the least he could do.

Somehow, your place was always tidier than his, and he lived on his own. In the kitchen, he found breakfast dishes in the sink and the dishwasher full of the dishes that had been cleaned the night before. That was where he would get started. He put away the dishes easily; he had been around your kitchen a lot those last months and he knew exactly where everything was. He even knew where you were hiding away the chocolate and candies; somewhere Marley didn't have access to.

"Hey Bucky, can I have snacks?"

A look at the watch sitting on his right wrist, she had still a good hour and a half before dinner and he replied positively. He wiped his hands on the dish towel resting on his shoulder and took one of these bamboo sectioned plates he just washed. He was reaching out to the first cupboards in front of him when it suddenly appeared to him, he had no idea what he could give her.

"What does your mom usually give you?" He asked Marley, turning back to her.

Marley shrugged. "Carrots and hummus." And Bucky swore this kid was eating healthier that he ever had.

He started by the fridge, looking for anything he could give to Marley. Thankfully, she wasn't a picky eater so it would be easy for him. Tonight's dinner was in it, along with some vegetables and fruits. He chose grapes because it was the only food, he could see himself eating at that time of the day.

"Grapes and uh-" he looked at the cupboards right next to the fridge "- crackers?"

Marley nodded. Bucky prepared it all on her plate, making sure there was just enough for her to be full but not too much so she would still eat dinner, and handed it to her. She carried it carefully to the living room, Bucky following behind. She had laid out all her crayons on the coffee table next to her Paw Patrol coloring book. He knew about this cartoon because it was the only one Marley ever wanted to watch, she was literally obsessed with it, and she did make him watch some episodes with her. He knew that, when she was playing alone in her room, she would usually pretend she was saving the world with them.

Bucky sat on the carpet, next to Marley, stealing one grape from her plate. She threw him a death glance but offered him some more if he would help with the coloring. He happily complied.

    Before dinner was normally bath time. Thankfully, you had said over the phone you would deal with that in the morning. For some reason, Marley did not like baths. A little bit of water in her eyes or ears was too much for her to handle and he wasn't sure he could deal with her being so upset on his own.

He still got her changed in her pajamas - she obviously chose the one with the dalmatian puppy from Paw Patrol you had agreed on buying a few weeks ago; washed her face with a cotton pad and some cleansing lotion, brushed her hair and tried the best he could to tie them in a low ponytail. You would normally braid them for the night, but this was not something Bucky mastered at all - he made a mental note to watch some tutorials on YouTube to learn though.

"Will you and mommy get married?" Marley asked out of nowhere while Bucky was carrying her back to the kitchen to have dinner.

"I don't know," he said, confused. "Why do you ask?"

"I prefer you over my real daddy," Marley admitted. And it broke his heart. Bucky knew how her dad forgot about her third birthday and missed most of his custody days lately. He didn't really understand how somebody could have a child and knowingly decide not take care of them anymore.

The child in his arm was so precious. It amazed him every day how much she could comprehend of the world around her. She was smart, creative, kind. She knew what she wanted, would be very stubborn about it and would do anything to get it – you always said you didn’t understand where she got her fierce mind and Bucky laughed every time because he knew exactly from whom she had gotten it: you. You did such a good job raising her on your own. He also knew you would always choose her over him, and he had to admit, it made him fall in love even more with you.

"Even if I'd marry your mom, I still wouldn't be your daddy officially."

"To me, you would," Marley concluded as if it was as simple as that.

Living with you two permanently. Marrying you. Bucky never thought of it. He liked how this relationship was working: the kindness, the trust, the love. He loved the movie dates with you, the Sundays walks, and the evening just the three of you. He loved how simple it all was and how it made him just happy. Happiest he had been in a long time. And he wondered if he wanted more. The way his heart was fluttering in his chest made him realized, he did. He didn't know if he was ready though.

    Back to the kitchen, he put her down on her seat before getting the casserole of potato gratin out of the oven. He put a small portion in her plate, next to some chopped carrots and apple sauce he already prepared. He put it down in front of her and sat next to her.

"Will you eat with mommy?"

"Yeah, is that alright?"

She nodded, rubbing her eyes. They had stayed coloring her books a little too long and it was nearly her bedtime. Smiling softly, he encouraged her to eat. She did while asking some more questions on his cat in between each mouthful. How old is it? Why did you name it Alpine? Has mummy already met it? Do you think she'll like me? Turned out this little one never run out of question.

After dinner, Bucky gave her a small portion of chocolate from the special cupboard and they agreed it would be their little secret. Then, he carried her to the bathroom to brush her tiny teeth. It was started to be late for her and she was clearly fighting against sleep, the lack of it upsetting her.

"I want to see mommy," she cried, lips trembling and eyes full of tears.

"I know Mar-Mar, she'll get there soon," Bucky tried to comfort her. You hadn't text yet, meaning you weren't on your way still. He knew Marley would be asleep before you got home. "We can read a book in your bed while we wait for her, yeah?"

Marley nodded and let Bucky carry her to her bed. She had her head rested on his right shoulder the whole time. She crawled under the covers the moment her body was dropped off on the bed. She let Bucky choose the bedtime story and he chose the one he knew she liked so much.

He laid beside her gently and she immediately reached out closer to him. He wrapped his right arm around her, and her hands somehow found his dog tag again. A small kiss on her forehead and Bucky started reading the book in his left hand. Marley was listening carefully, helping him by turning the page.

At the end of the story, she was fast asleep against him, his dog tag still in her tiny fist. Bucky did not dare moving, afraid he would wake her up if he did. He observed the small child against him and listened to her soft breathes. She looked so peaceful and it made him thought of the way she had welcomed him into her life. Just like you, she had taken him as a whole; with his trauma, his insecurities, his quietness, and his staring habits. And now, she had him wrapped around his little finger. He knew deep in his guts he wouldn't let anything happen to you or your daughter. He realized that now. That made him think some more: maybe he was ready after all. And this time, he would not let happiness slip away from him.

  Bucky stayed like that until twenty minutes later, when you showed up on your daughter’s room doorstep. You looked exhausted yet still radiant. A smile had formed on your lips at the sight in front of you. It made you melt right on the spot.

"Hey," Bucky greeted you softly.

You came closer, walking on your tiptoes, careful of not waking up your daughter. You laid besides them, kissing your daughter little fist, and tucked yet another strand of hair behind her ear. You looked back at Bucky, who was intensely staring at you. His left arm was already wrapped around your shoulders, bringing you close. You kissed his jaw, making him smile gently. "Thank you for taking care of her. Did it go okay?"

"More than okay." He kissed your forehead while you snuggled closer to him. His heart could burst of the feeling of having you two near him forever.

He wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

[tommydarlings]

𝙈𝙔 𝙁𝘼𝙉𝙁𝙄𝘾 𝙍𝙀𝘾𝙊𝙈𝙈𝙀𝙉𝘿𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉 ♡

These are some fanfic's that i litterilly can't get out of my head and I had to share them :) the opinion that I write under it is my own opinion! ily,liz <3

TOM HOLLAND & PETER PARKER

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The choices we make & The choices we make 2 - @t-lostinworlds

This was the first thing that I read where I cried my eyes out. I never cried that much over a fanfic before and I think I never will. I was soooooo done after reading this. This will tear u apart, I swear... :(

lazy saturday - @ptersmj

This is maybe short, but this is one of the cutest things I ever read :) I always read it when I feel bad and it really helps, I'm so happy that I found that short masterpiece! She generally writes the cutest things ever!!!

truth serum - @ptersmj

I read this in the middle of the night and I laughed my ass of, this is just amazing!!

The fame game - Serie - @duskholland

Genuinely one of the best series I ever read. The tension, the emotions, the feelings, you got everything in there. An amazing enimies to lovers Serie by one of the best writers I know!!!

meet your match - @duskholland

This. THIS. IS. SO. DAMN. GOOD. omggg, I can't even count how many times I already read that!

Getting his fill - @duskholland

I live for dom!tom. But this is another level. When you didnt read it yet then... You okay?

adore - @duskholland

Luckily I found that when I was in my professor!tom phase, THIS IS WHAT I CALL A GOOD PROFESSOR!TOM FIC!!!

Kiss it better - @marvelousell

That's SO SO good I can't even describe it. I would say that it got a 'high' tw (trigger warning). But this another masterpiece that I already read multiple times.

Hold me - @marvelousell

Another thing with a kinda 'high' tw! But at the same time another amazing masterpiece!!! Btw, I'm kinda addicted to argument aka fighting fics recently, so when you like something like that too then is this PERFECT!

lover of mine - mini Serie - @felicityparkers

THIS IS SO ADORABLE! I love every single one of them! Another writer that I generally adore so so so much!!!

Best friends & Best boyfriend - @trashinaglass

I can't get enough of it, this is so fucking cute and heartbreaking at the same time! You NEED to read it!!!

unlawful professor - @smutsonian

Another smut that is litterilly a diffrent level of smut. This is a Peter parker one-shot but this is AMAZING!!!

Black beauty - Serie - @blissfulparker

A Serie that I already read at least 5 times and I just can't get enough of it! A beautiful koh!tom x angel!reader Serie that is just SO SO good!!!

Happiness is a butterfly - Serie - @blissfulparker

Another Serie of her that I could read again and again and again... I LOVE IT SM!

yes, professor holland - @porterporker

THIS IS JUST EVERYTHING!!! I searched sooooo long for it and I was FINALLY able to find it! YOU HAVE TO READ IT!!!

Thermometer - @hollandsimpson

A fanfic that I just recently read and I litterilly laughed my ass of, you need to read this ASAP!!!

Blow a kiss fire a gun - Serie - @hollandroos

I genuinely can't describe how good this Serie is. When i would have the chance to read only one more Serie on tumblr... Then I would choose this one! This Serie is something else, I swear. I never read something that emotional and beautiful at the same time. When you didnt read that yet then... Wow, I'm really disappointed. READ IT RIGHT NOW!!!

Run to me - Serie - @hollandroos

The sequel to 'Blow a kiss fire a gun'. THIS IS SO SO DAMN GOOD!!! I would litterilly die for this Serie. A Serie you just HAVE to read!!!

Always and forever - Serie - @maaaddiexo

Another Serie that I can't describe in words... This is just AMAZING!!! I think i've already read it about 4 times and I can't get enough!!!

Match made in Hell - Serie - @spidernerdsblog

This Serie is ongoing but this Serie is SO SO SO EXTREMELY GOOD LIKE OH MY DAMN GOD!!!

We're only kidding ourselves - Serie - @wazzupmrstark

Another Serie that I would die for... Honestly I'm not the biggest fan of long Serie's, but THIS IS WORTH THE READ I SWEAR!!!

scream in Italien - @tomsrebeleyebrow

Litterilly one of the first things I ever read and I'm SO SO SO glad that I found it again!!!

peter holland - @ollieologys

I've read this just a few days ago and I'm so happy that I found it! It's so so so sweet but at the same time kinda sad and devastating but I LOVE it!!!

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Masterlist's

@angelic-holland || masterlist

Nearly her entire masterlist is smut. But her smut is something else. YOU HAVE TO read her smut AT LEAST ONE TIME. I already read every piece of smut from here about 10 times and I'm always so impressed like omggg.

@marvelouspeterparker || masterlist

One of the first writer I discovered and I'm so glad that I found her, her writing is SO SO SO extremely good!!! When you didn't read her entire masterlist yet then... Are you sure that you know what good fanfiction is?

@multiholland || masterlist

A writer that kinda always brings me back into writing honestly... I love her writing sm like omgggggg. Just such a pure and amazing writer!!!

@flower-cage || masterlist

This is another level of smut too... YOU NEED TO READ HER ENTIRE MASTERLIST ASAP!!! I seriously can't describe how glad I'am that I found this account!!!

@lousimusician || masterlist

One of the first writer I discovered too and I'm not complaining! :) I love her writing!!!

@waitimcomingtoo || masterlist

Again one of the first writers I discovered and definitely one of the best I know! I remember how I read nearly her entire masterlist in ONE NIGHT because I couldn't get enough!!! Definitely one if my fav's writer ever!!!

@kissedbylove || masterlist

SO SO SO GOOD omgggg. I read nearly her entire masterlist in just a few days! A writer I will always adore!!!

@spideyyeet || masterlist

When you need some good old fluff or something that just makes you smile... Here you got it!!!

@heyhihellowhatsup0 || masterlist

Another writer that I already follow for such a long amount of time! I litterilly nearly read everything on her masterlist and it's just amazing. You NEED to check her out!!!

@parkeraul || masterlist

I genuinely can't describe how much I love her ENTIRE masterlist. Everything on her masterlist is just SO SO SO GOOD!!! When you didn't checked her out yet then... You good?

HARRY STYLES

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Carpool karaoke - @kind-heart

Already read it about 4 times and every time it gets better and better and better! I genuinely ADORE this one-shot!!!

Wish upon a star - Serie - @mysweetestcreature

I found this just a few weeks ago and I already read it 3 times. I never read something like that before but I really really really enjoyed reading that! READ IT!!!

fine line - @harrystylescherry

Definitely one of the cutest and loveliest things I ever read. This is SO SO SO DAMN pure and soft at the same time like omggg. LOVE IT!!!

five seconds - @autumn-sunflowers

I've just recently discovered that one and I'm definitely not complaining! This is sooooo sweet and pure!!!

Cup of tea - @permanentcross

I'm telling you the truth when I say that this is everything you need for the rest of your life :) !!!

Lesson learnt - @vocalharry

A one-shot that I would definitely sell my soul for. THIS IS SO SO SO GOOD! Just READ IT!!!

yes daddy I will - @floral-suits

Am I allowed to post that here? *_* THIS IS SOMETHING DIFFRENT like omgggggg. I promise you that you will LOVE IT!!!

When i kissed the teacher - Serie - @songbirdstyles

When i had to choose between this Serie or my own life, I would choose this Serie without hesitation! I already read it 5 times and I can't describe to you how much I love this Serie! READ IT ASAP!!!

Screw my brain ('till it hurts) - @songbirdstyles

I would do A LOT to read that for the first time again... This gave me litterilly GOOSEBUMPS because I couldn't handle the DAMN TENSION! A MUST HAVE!!!

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MASTERLIST'S

@and-im-okay-with-it || masterlist

THIS. THIS. IS. SO. FINE. Like so So SO FiNe!I honestly love her entire masterlist and I would litterilly die when she would delete her account!!!

@watchmegetobsessed || masterlist

I can't describe in words how much I love her. I could sit here for hours and just talk about her account... The affort that she puts in her pieces, the emotions, the fellings. It's just true perfection and I would do everything to read every single one of her works for the first time again!!!

@hes-writer || masterlist

I couldn't decide which one of her works I should put on this list, so I just linked her entire masterlist here for you. Another writer I would die for! I can't even count how many times I already cried when I read her pieces! I LOVE HER SM!!!

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SHAWN MENDES

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Sexy Playlist/Dirty Mixtape - @sauveteen

This so sweet, pretty, pure and hot at the same time, another thing that I would sell my soul too asap. PLEASE READ IT!!!

Fuck me like you hate me - @sauveteen

This killed me. This thing literally destroyed my entire body. I honestly don't know how I should describe this... THIS IS EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ THIS!!!

Arpeggio - @lonelyreputation

I read this a few weeks ago and it's definitely one of my favorite things on this Plattform! READ IT RIGHT NOW!!!

Cuts - @lonelyreputation

THIS IS SO DAMN CUTE AND PURE like omgggg. This made my heart smile i swear!!!

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MASTERLIST

@infiniteshawn || masterlist

Her entire masterlist will destroy you completely. It will blow your mind and you will die while reading it, I swear. MASTERPIECE!!!

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lil side note: Obviously I won't force you to read anything! These are my own thoughts and opinions to each fanfic! Even when you are usually just reading Tom Holland or Peter Parker, I still recommend the Harry Styles and Shawn mendes ones to you! They are really good! ily,liz <3