#this was once just a pet peeve but really bothers me now

[stevesherdaddynowlover]

the first of many [s.h.]

an: little one shit based off THIS ASK!!! can yall tell im a sucker for friends to lovers lmaooo hope you enjoy!! -m

summary: steve finally asks you out and your first date is filled with a fear of heights, fluffy penguins, and funnel cake. no warnings just sickening fluff!!!!

wc: 3.6k

masterlist here!!!

Steve was freaking the fuck out. His head hurt from how he’d been tugging at his hair for the last hour and a half while he tried to gather the courage to ask you out. To finally ask you out as Dustin had said. 

You’d been friends with Robin first and she’d brought you into the group almost a year ago. Of course you fit in perfectly, why wouldn’t you! You were smart, charming and funny. Not to mention so beautiful Steve couldn’t look away if you were in the same room as him. 

Being your friend meant that Steve had spent the last year pining after you pathetically. Learning all your favorite things, noticing the little quirks about you no one else did, like how even though you’d switched to contacts you still found yourself pressing your finger between your brows subconsciously, as if to push your glasses up if they were slipping down your nose. 

He’s spent a year falling in love with you, a year trying to know everything there was to know about you. He wanted to know what made you tick, what made you laugh the hardest, your pet peeves, which movies made you cry. 

It’s obvious to everyone how crazy Steve is about you, everyone but you. You laugh at his jokes and play with his hair and pat his knee when your friends tease him. You do all these little things that make his heart thump and somehow you have no idea how gone for you he really is! 

Everyone is watching him with mischievous grins as he chews on his thumb, waiting for you to arrive so he can either get the girl or put himself out of his misery. The back of his neck is red from how anxious he is and his forehead is damp with sweat despite the chill that’s in the air outside. 

“You think he’ll even get a word out before he’s puking on her shoes?” He hears Mike vaguely behind him but he’s so on edge he can't be bothered to smack him or kick his shin. 

“Bet you 5 bucks he straight up passes out as soon as he sees her!.” That’s Lucas and despite how the kids grate on his nerves he can’t even argue with them. He’s not so sure he won’t faint as soon as you're within reach of him. 

The sound of footsteps crunching against the leaves that cover the ground have everyone snapping their heads towards you. A chorus of voices fill the air but Steve is silent. Now that you’re here in front of him his stomach is uneasy and he can feel his heartbeat in the tips of his fingers and toes. 

He doesn’t notice you’ve made your way through everyone until the tips of your shoes are almost touching his, worry in your eyes and your palm on his forehead as you look him over. “Y’alright, Stevie? You don’t look so good and you're feeling kinda warm.” 

Hand reaching up to take yours in his he tugs you a step closer to him, a new warmth spreading over him at how close you are, and at the fact that you seemed concerned over his well being. 

“M’fine. Can I steal you for a minute? Need to ask you about something.” He doesn’t know how he even managed to get the words out without stumbling over them helplessly but he’s grateful when you nod, smiling up at him and letting him lead you away from your friends. One look back and he’s rolling his eyes as they throw their fists in the air, cheering him on silently. 

God please don’t let me fuck this up. 

Once he has you far enough away you can’t see that group of idiots he pulls you down next to him on a bench that overlooks a little duck pond in the middle of the park. He feels himself warming despite the cold when he watches how you take in the world around you, wide, accepting eyes and a shy smile on your face. 

“Go out with me.” Fuck—okay that was not how he meant do to this. The words just slipped out on their own accord, making his cheeks red and his hands twist in his lap as he watched you blink up at him. 

“W-what?” You sounded a little breathless and he found himself digging his fingertips into his palm to keep from pulling you into his lap and kissing you dumb. 

“What I meant was, do you wanna go out with me? Just the two of us, like a..a date? We could go to the fair this weekend. Or a movie if you want. Or just dinner! O-or I could try and cook—I can’t promise it’ll be good but I can try if that sounds like something you’d wa—”

He’s cut off when your hand comes up to cover his mouth and he sighs in relief at the amusement covering your rose colored cheeks. He could groan at the way your bottom lip is tucked between your teeth while you give him a second to catch his breath. 

“I’d love to go on a date with you, Steve,” His shoulders visibly sag in relief and his stomach feels more calm and settled than it has in a year, “and the fair sounds perfect. I love those stupid games and greasy food and rides that make your stomach drop.” 

He’s nodding in agreement, mostly because he doesn’t trust his voice right now. The relief he felt is short lived because now he’s freaking out over how to make this the best date you’ve ever been on. 

Both of you stand and he blushes at the way you grab his hand in yours and lead you back to your friends who are no doubt itching to know if Steve puked or passed out or cried. 

When the two of you are a few yards away he moves his arm to the side a little, giving them all a thumbs up that has them whooping and clapping as you make your way to where they’re sitting on old wooden picnic tables. 

“What’s with all the cheering?” Steve is giving them all the death stare, one hard shake of his head enough to have them all trying—-and failing—to hide their grins as you wait for someone to answer. 

“Oh nothing much, celebrating the 5 bucks I just won.” 

———

You were freaking out. Clothes strewn across your bedroom floor and bunching under your feet from where you’ve spent the last twenty minutes pacing back and forth. 

All of a sudden none of your clothes seem good enough for a date with Steve Harrington. The same Steve that you’d been crushing on since the first day you met him almost a year ago. The same Steve that makes your knees wobble and cheeks hurt. 

When he asked you out a few days ago in the park, you had to pinch your thigh as you looked at him to make sure you weren’t dreaming. The two of you had become fast friends and you’d grown closer as time went on, but him actually asking you out had thrown you for a loop. 

It was cold outside but when you were close to Steve your body decided to heat up on its own so you eventually opted for something that would be easy to cool down in. You tugged on your favorite pair of jeans that hugged your hips just right and threw on a loose long sleeved violet top that didn’t mold to your skin so you’d have room to breathe. 

The next few hours were wasted by you changing your hair every ten minutes, standing in front of the fan when you began to sweat from running around, and standing in your living room watching out the window for when Steve would pull up. 

When you heard the rumble of his car coming down the street your palms began to sweat, spine tingling and a mix of dread and excitement settling deep into your bones. 

A knock had you stumbling toward your front door on shaky legs and you tried not to seem too eager as you pulled it open to reveal Steve in all his glory. He had on the same light wash jeans he always wore, ones you’d…admired him in on more than one occasion. One hand was tucked into his pocket and the other held a small, pretty bouquet of daisies that he was clutching a little too tight. A fitted red sweater clung to his arms and his chest, your eyes drinking him in as if he wasn’t staring back at you. 

“Y’look pretty.” 

It took a few seconds before you realized that you were the one that had said that, your ears burning as you dropped your gaze to the floor between the two of you. Get a grip! 

“So do you, though I think you have me beat,” The hand that was holding the flowers went to the back of his neck to rub at the skin there before he realized he hadn’t given them to you yet, “These are for you.” 

Fingere grazing as you let him slip the daisies into your hand, you turned on your heel and ran to the kitchen to stick them in some water before rushing back and mustering up all the courage you had left to go through with this before your nerves got the best of you. 

———

The drive to the fair was spent with Steve fawning over you, making sure you weren’t too warm or too cold, asking what kind of music you wanted to listen to. You saw his hand twitch in his lap more than once and you wondered if he was thinking about lacing his fingers with yours. 

“Should we get some food first?” He was looking down at you and while your stomach rumbled at the mention of food, you weren’t so sure it was a good idea to eat before rides and with your nerves all jumbled. 

“We can if you want but I was uh, I was thinking maybe some rides or some games first?” Nodding at you he held his hand out in front of him to gesture for you to lead the way. You started walking and before you knew it you were leading him to the ferris wheel. It had always been your favorite ride, even as a kid, and it never got old. 

Steve had bought a stack of tickets when you first walked in and he held them out to the ride attendant now as you stepped up the front of the line at the ferris wheel. He waved you through, closing the bar over your lap with a click and despite the roomy seat you found your thigh pressed against Steve’s and your hands just inches apart on the bar in front of you. 

The buzzing of the motor and the little jolt of your bucket had Steve gripping the bar so tight his knuckles were white. 

“Steve…are you okay?” 

“M’fine, yeah it’s fine. I just—fuck well I’m a little scared of heights and I’m already really nervous about this date and I don’t wanna look like an idiot. I might be freaking out just a little bit.”

“Shit, Steve I’m sorry! I didn’t know you were scared of heights.” In your apologies you’d turned a little which rocked your bucket and you cursed when you saw Steve screw his eyes shut. 

“You’d never look like an idiot to me,” He didn’t say anything so you kept going, hoping to soothe his worries even a little, “and I’m nervous too. In a good way. Like I have butterflies in my tummy and I can feel my heartbeat in my ears kind of way. But if both of us are stressed then we don’t get to actually enjoy this, right? And we know each other, we’re friends, so really this is just us doing something new together. Nothing to be too nervous about.” 

Until the words were spoken between you, you didn’t realize how bad you needed to hear them too. You needed that assurance. Regardless of how this went, you and Steve were still friends and at the end of the day you always would be. Of course you wanted to be more, but the most important thing was that you still had him at all. 

It seemed like your little speech had worked, his grip on the bar loosening and his shoulders didn’t look as tight as they were. 

“I’m good nervous too. I just care about you, a lot. And I like you a whole lot and want tonight to be fun.” 

“I’m always having fun when I’m with you, Steve.” 

——-

Steve doesn’t think he takes a full breath again until both of his feet are touching the grass. He’s never been so happy to see grass and if  he wasn’t addicted to the feel of your arm touching his, he’d lean down and kiss the ground. 

As you’re walking past the tables upon tables of fair games, he sees you stop and stare up at a giant stuffed penguin hanging at the top of all the other prizes. He glances back down to see it’s a milk bottle game. Surely he can toss some rings on some milk bottles and win you that prize, right? 

He hopes so. 

He doesn’t say anything, just looks between you and the penguin before walking over and getting in the fortunately short line. You stumble over behind him, eyes wide as tug on his arm gently so he’s looking back at you. 

“What are you doing? We can go get some food now, if you want.” 

“I’m getting you that penguin.” 

He sounds sure when he says it and you can’t help the smile that covers your face. It’s not even about the prize, the penguin is cute and all and yes—it caught your eye, but it’s more that he wants to do it for you, wants to make you happy. 

It doesn’t take long before it’s Steve's turn and he happily hands over 3 tickets for a try at the game. All he has to is land all five rings on the milk bottles and the big prize is his, well yours. 

On the first try he makes two out of five rings. On the second he makes four out of five. The third he makes one out of five. The fourth he makes three out of five again. 

It’s his seventh try that he lands five out five, turning to you with a wide smile and your face matches his, eyes wide and practically bouncing on your feet as you look between him and penguin. 

He’d run out of tickets about three tries ago, pulling cash from his wallet but feeling good about it when the teenage worker pulls the penguin down with an eye roll, tossing it to Steve before he turns and presents it to you like it’s gold. 

It’s about half the size of you and he giggles like a little girl when your head peeks out over the top of it, arms barely reaching around the giant thing and he thinks he’ll remember this for the rest of his life. 

You’d insisted you could carry Mr. Fluffs as you’d named him, so Steve watched with endearment as you waddled around beside him with the too big stuffie in your arms and a satisfied smile on your face. 

“Stevie, can we just people watch for a little bit, my legs are tired.” You couldn’t see him but he nodded, steering you over by your elbow to an empty bench and watching as you plopped down, Mr. Fluffs beside you comfortably. 

The two of you chatted quietly, pressed close together to whisper about the made up lives you’d created about the people that walked around you. When Steve pulled back to laugh at something you said he noticed your arms crossed over your chest tightly, a slight tremble to your lips and he cursed himself for not noticing sooner. 

“Are you cold, baby?” He didn’t mean for the pet name to slip out but he reveled in the way your eyes widened the slightest bit and you smiled shyly to yourself. You nodded, scooting closer to him. The warmth he provided was temporary because in a flash he was up. 

“Don’t move, I’ll be right back.” Before you could question him he was sprinting back towards the parking lot, leaving you stunned and confused. But you listened, staying put on the cold bench and pulling your penguin closer to you like he might keep you warm. 

It couldn’t have been more than 2 minutes later before Steve was rushing back to you, chest heaving and sweat clinging to his hairline when he finally made it back to you. He was keeled over with his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath when you noticed his black leather jacket in his hand. 

Swoon. 

“Oh Stevie, you ran all that way just to grab your jacket for me?” Heart thudding against your rib cage you tracked him with your eyes, watching as he stood tall and made his way beside you again. A minute later you feel his thigh against yours again and his jacket being tucked over your shoulders, warmth spreading through you for more reasons than one. 

“I’m gonna go grab some water and food, alright? You stay here and make sure Mr. Fluff watches out for you.” He smirked and sent a stern look to the stuffed penguin, a laugh bubbling out of you as you nodded at him. 

It took him even less time to come back with food, arms full of soda and water. A hot dog in one hand and funnel cake in the other. “Figured we could share, but I can go grab more if you want.” 

You shook your head at him, patting the space next to you so he’d sit down and be close to you again. He covered the hot dog in ketchup and you smiled, smiling even bigger when he held it towards your mouth. You leaned forward, taking a bite and shuddering when your teeth grazed over his thumb. You pulled back sheepishly, the embarrassment melting away when he grinned but and lifted the hotdog up to his mouth and took a bite from the same place you just had. 

Wait—why was that so hot? 

You went back and forth like this for the few bites it took and giggled when Steve gave you the last bite. The same thing happened with the funnel, you sat there with your hands in your lap while Steve gave you bites and then took his own. It was intimate, more intimate than the two of you had ever been and it was a good feeling. It felt right. 

After you’re both full and hydrated you decide to call it a night, the cool air only getting colder but you take your time walking to Steve’s car anyway. He cranks up the heat and this time doesn’t let his hand set on his lap. No, this time he reaches over and lets his hand fold over yours, facing the road but you can still see the grin he’s wearing proudly. 

———-

It seems like no time passes before Steve is pulling up to your house, a small frown on your lips that he wants to pinch between his fingers. 

He’s spent plenty of time with you over the last year, but tonight felt different. Being able to watch you and look at you how he wanted, watching the way your eyes took him in unabashedly…he loved this feeling. 

Before you could move he was out of the car, running around to open your door and offer you a hand to get out. He pulled Mr. Fluffs from the backseat and carried him for you as you walked towards your door. 

This was the best first date he’d ever had and he hoped you had felt the same. Being with you, grazing your hand with his sent electricity down his spine. He’d built you up so much in his head and you’d exceeded every expectation and hope had. 

Standing in front of your door with your prize at his feet he watches you. Watches the way you fiddle with the zipper of his jacket nervously. Watches the way you look up at him from under your lashes with a look of innocence that makes his knees weak. God the longer he looked at you the more obsessed he became. 

“Tonight was…the most fun I’ve had in forever, Steve. Thanks for taking me out.” Before he can process what’s happening you’re taking a hesitant step forward and placing your palms flat against his chest. He watches with bated breath as you lean up and let your lips hover over him, like you're deciding if you want his cheek or his mouth. 

He wants to make the decision for you but he keeps still, only moving his hand to grip your waist so you don’t fall over and he smiles sweetly when you press your lips to the skin at the corner of his mouth, his cheek now wet and he thinks he’d get down on knee for you right then and there if you’d let him. 

“Goodnight, Stevie.” 

He’s walking backwards towards his car, trying not to fall and make an ass out of himself but he can’t look away when you’re standing in your doorway with your hip cocked to the side and amusement dancing in your eyes. 

“We’re definitely doin’ this again, right? Mr. Fluff can even come too if you want.” His grin is cocky and smug, the nervousness from earlier gone as he remembers how your lips felt on his skin. 

“Goodnight, Steve.” 

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

I was wondering, what's your interpretation of tTPD as a whole?. I know a lot of people think it's a 31 album dedicated to one main muse minus 2 songs for his ex long term relationship but i was curious about your thoughts.

Also, some theorists are talking about a potential 10 years situationship between taylor and one muse and it makes me feel... weird. Because she was committed to someone else and i don't know how to feel knowing the other muse could be in some of my fave albums... sorry for the long rant

So there’s a lot going on here and it’s nuanced.

I don’t think it’s as simple as “it’s all about one person minus two songs.” There are several muses woven in both the text and subtext of the songs. And what happened with one muse in many cases was only possible because what happened with another. There are some songs that are explicitly about specific people’s actions, but overall things get muddy because situations are muddy.

This is a cop out answer, but ultimately to me the album is about Taylor. It’s about her pain and grief and trauma and also healing and recovery and joy. To reduce it to a man in particular discounts that she is the main character of her own life and story.

I do not think the story she put down in TTPD is one of a decade long situationship. As I said yesterday, I will gladly change my mind if new information comes to light. The story I picked up in TTPD is one where someone entered her life at a very vulnerable time, exploited their shared history to sow the seeds of this fantasy life to her that she was desperately grieving in her very real current life, which caused her to play revisionist history with her memories because she needed to make it “real” to herself as an escape hatch.

But even if that isn’t the case, and if it turns out that yes, she was pining for this person for ten years… it doesn’t take away from the fact that her past music is excellent, regardless of the inspiration. IMO fans would be better served to not always recall the muses when listening to music for their enjoyment. I know Taylor’s music is different because her life is so well documented and she used to be so open about who she was writing about, but very few artists do that and their music still hits. I don’t think at all about the artists’ lives when listening to any other band; hell, even in well-known messy situations like Fleetwood Mac, I’m not thinking about Stevie and Mick, I’m thinking that Landslide is beautiful and Rhiannon is a banger or whatever. If you think too much about the artists’ personal lives, you’re gonna get twisted in knots and may find there are few people you can listen to, because humans are fallible and messy and make mistakes. Like Taylor says, once the songs are out in the world, they’re not hers anymore, and you need to ascribe your own meaning to them.

Which is not to say I wasn’t surprised when I first figured out who she was writing about when I listened to TTPD, and yes the first few listens of the album made my head spin a bit for the lore of it all, but i truly listen to it like any other album now. It’s good music plain and simple.

What I’m trying to say is that you have to set your own boundaries I guess. If it really bothers you then you don’t have to listen to or engage with it. But personally I’m also not going to moralize Taylor’s or anyone else’s music because she’s human just like any of us and we all make choices in our lives. She was just brave enough to share the mess. It’s not a condoning of her actions because she doesn’t need my or anyone else’s approval for her choices. She’s recording a moment of time in her life and turned it into art, and now it takes on new meaning for listeners.

(Also if people are moralizing her choices because of the “commitment” thing well… I think they weren’t picking up on other parts of the album but. Well.)

Also my pet peeve is that I hate the word “theory” when applied to real people. They’re humans with lives, not characters in a TV show. This isn’t directed at you anon, just a general sentiment.

[luvissues]

ugh thinking about the 141 with a cat and i don’t know why

it’s an odd situation for sure. everyone’s pretty certain that price still thinks the poor thing is a stray they’ve decided to feed, even though he catches it snoozing around base and weaving through his legs whenever they’re stationed.

ghost was convinced that the mangy thing had fleas from whatever alley the sergeants had scruffed it from, but for once his words fell on deaf ears. the skinny thing just needed some meat on its bones, was all. they were sure of it.

and yeah, okay, so maybe they were a little drunk when they picked the thing up. but it was a poor little tabby; surely they could just feed it for long enough that you didn’t hear the rattle of its bones with its steps?

ghost had the be the one to toss it out, not thinking much of it. he was doing the boys a favor, getting rid of the thing before price could beat it away with a broom (or scare it off with some stray shots from his pistol).

but that doesn’t bring much reprieve, because the lieutenant had called it from the start- the damn thing was outside, sure, but it wouldn’t go away.

“dinnae- don’t shut it out, ghost, the cat jus’ wants some lovin’” soap would scold as he poked his head over to look out the window, catching the tiny head poking right back up at him from behind the glass.

“you keep that damn moggy out of here, johnny.” was all he got in reply. (ghost fails to mention that the only reason he hates the pet is because it’s fur is especially noticeable on the black fabric of his mask.)

but of course they just keep going out to feed it anyway. gaz keeps making off-handed comments about it in front of price on accident and ghost thinks he might just have to strangle him if that means it’ll shut ‘im up.

though, price doesn’t really notice it at all until he leaves the doors cracked open- base was too hot, too stuffy- and the kit just slips in beneath his feet. and no matter how many times he tracks it down, ushers it back outside with a nudge of his boot, it keeps making its way in. so he closes the doors and- wait- who the opened the window? fuckin’ hell, now the cat’s damn near crawling into their ceiling…

so maybe it’s back inside now. and maybe gaz really doesn’t feel like washing it, cleaning off all that grime the pelt’s accumulated since ghost had kicked it out. so maybe he tosses it in the bathroom while his lieutenant’s in the shower, because “he threw it outside, yeah? now he can clean up the mess.”

that’s when the situation finally comes to attention (there are angry red marks hidden under ghost’s clothes; cat was was clean now, but that thing needed a damn pair of nail clippers). ghost carries it out into the hall by its neck, fur still dripping and leaving a trail on the tile behind them.

he’s a little peeved that price couldn’t seem to care less. cap’s a little annoyed that his sergeants have been so distracted, sure, but nowhere near as irritated as ghost would’ve thought he’d be.

“spoiled rotten,” the captain tsked, shaking his head as ghost let it drop. he’d carried it all the way to price, hissing and scratching; the thing’s scurried off to some corner of the office now, and all it did was bring a furrow to his superior’s brow. “the thing’s gonna starve when they’re not here to coddle it.”

“wouldn’t bother me any,” ghost grunted. he kicked around the corners of the room until the cat slunk back out, nothing more than a lazy little shadow that stuck around because of its indulgent caretakers. “should take it out, stupid thing.”

price just rolls his chair back up to the desk, hunching over it as his gaze drops back down to his work. his pen taps against the wood as he fiddles with it, waving ghost off with a hand. “‘s long as it’s not in my way, i don’t care what the hell they do with it. soap’ll forget about it in a week when he gets bored. gaz will let ‘im.”

surprise: they don’t forget. ghost would almost be impressed if not still annoyed (look it up, garrick- CSD. if he gets sick, he’s putting a barrel to the kit’s head).

time heals things, though. johnny still tosses the things his scraps, but he also gets amazon suggestions for cat food now because of his shopping habits. kyle still doesn’t want to take responsibility, but his search history is spotted with questions; random aspects of how to take care of the pet.

simon is still annoyed at the thing, but everyone sees the way he’ll pull of a glove just so he can scratch under its chin with his short nails. price still pretends not to notice that there’s an animal at all, but it’s his room where they cat will end up at night, curled into a discarded pile of blankets or on his chest.

ughh idk something about them with a cat whose not really their cat. but they get offended if you say it’s not theirs because of course it belongs to them. it’s just not their fault it hangs around. or that they have a separate bowl for it. or that the window is always cracked now like some sort of cat door. it really isn’t!

something cute about all of them being on base, but with this lazy little thing that hangs around and gives them company when they crack open a beer or clean their weapons or go to their rooms on those lonely nights. it’s no dog, but it does seem to love like one sometimes, with how unconditional it is with its affection affection.. love it

[egg-scramped]

the pet peeve ever: people translating swear words into Japanese songs where there are none

(important clarification, the issue that I have isn't with swearing! i personally swear like a sailor, this isn't meant to be a judgemental post)

key example: usseewa. a very popular translation of the first lyric in the chorus (usse, usse, usseewa) is "shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up"

note that usseewa is being translated as shut the fuck up. when. that's not fully accurate??? from my understanding?

usseewa is definitely an aggressive word, but. where did the fuck word come from.

the other example that comes to mind is cyberpunk dead boy. the lyric "imi wakannee" is repeated a few times in the song, which translates to something like "I don't understand it/I don't know what this means" (paraphrasing a few different translations I've seen). near the end of the song, the lyric changes to "imi wakannee yo". in a few translations I've looked at, this has been translated as "I don't fucking understand any of this".

once again. where did the fuck word come from?? like. rui does in fact say bullshit, the English word bullshit appears in the MV, but. that's the only swear word.

I realize this does in fact. not matter.

however I love knowing little tidbits about songs I know AND about project sekai

and. as far as I am aware. the only three songs with swear words are Dappou Rock (Tsukasa sings fuck off), Ego Rock (Len says fuck you), and now Cyberpunk Dead Boy (Rui says bullshit). but whenever the topic of swearing comes up in project sekai conversations, I continually see people including usseewa. but that's!! incorrect!

I want to say "I think it's funny that the theater kids- specifically the boys- are the only ones who can cuss"

but I know. I know if anyone finds me posting that they'll go "oh what about usseewa." or if they're up to date with the jp server, "actually all of them say fuck in cpdb" but that isn't true ! they don't !!!!

once again. this isn't even important it just really bothers me when I see something translated incorrectly because the person translating doesn't know how to make words more intense or extreme without adding a swear word.

[garbinge]

Minimum Wage

Nestor Oceteva x F!Galindo!Reader

Day 02 these April Prompts: “Minimum Wage”

Summary: You left the Galindo name and life behind, but it always seems to come back after you.  

A/N: Just something short, there’s something so intriguing to me about a Galindo sister who just ~hates~ the family business. 

Word Count: 1.4k words

Warnings: All my fics are 18+ regardless of content. Angsty, very angsty. 

Mayans Taglist: @drabbles-mc @justreblogginfics @narcolini (Not sure how many individual Mayans fics i’ll have in the future but happy to add anyone to any potential future fics!)

Part 2 

“Come on, can I please drive you home?” Nestor pleaded with you as he stood awkwardly in the middle of the run down diner in his slacks and suit jacket. 

“I told you, that’s not my home.” You said as you passed him with two plates in your hand. 

Carefully, you placed them on the table farthest from the door and asked if they needed anything else, taking out your guest check ready to take notes. After writing down their updated drink order you retreated back behind the counter and poured two more cups of coffee. 

“I have strict orders to not leave until I get you to agree to come home.” Nestor was now a step or two closer to the counter now. 

“Well, you better make yourself comfortable because my shift isn’t over for another 2 hours.” 

Your eyes didn’t even bother to meet him as you said it, but you took one of the coffees you just poured and left it on the third seat from the corner on the diner counter for him before you moved to take more orders. 

The lunch rush died down, with only a few minutes left of your shift, you made your way back to Nestor, pouring him what was probably his 3rd cup of coffee since being here.

“I’m not coming home.” You said as the liquid poured. 

“I know.” Nestor said nodding and not making eye contact with you. 

Your eyes jumped from the mug to his eyes. His hair had grown a little since you last saw him, his grip was firm  around the coffee mug, you took in his outfit fully, you never envisioned Nestor like this, that it would ever get to this point. 

Being Miguel’s younger sister, you grew up with Nestor. While Miquel would hang out with the eldest Oceteva, you would be stuck with the younger, both of the big brothers being forced to bring the younger siblings with them. Over time your relationship evolved from being stuck with Nestor to actually enjoying your time together. You started hanging out more on your own, you invited him over and you’d hang out for hours, sometimes days if your dad was out of town. 

It was sickening to you, to see how much things changed again. Nestor always felt like yours. Not in a possessive way but in a way that only you knew him, his secrets, his flaws, his mannerisms, his favorite things, his pet peeves. That was all information that only you knew, and now there was a whole new set of secrets, of flaws, of mannerisms that Miguel knew and you didn’t. That broke you. 

“Then why are you here?” You asked him genuinely. You believed that he truthfully knew there was no chance he was going to be bringing you home. Because just like he felt like yours for all those ways you knew him, you felt like his for the same reasons. 

You left home the minute you turned 18, similar to how Nestor fled to the Navy, you fled to here. You got a minimum wage job, a few of them, and made it work. You had a decent place, you paid your bills, you changed your name, completely separated yourself from the Galindo business. It came as a shock when you heard Nestor had done the complete opposite as you when he returned from the Navy. You had written him letters, you two talked frequently, and he never mentioned once about his plans for after. He just stopped writing. Then showed up to the diner one night very similarly to how he did now. 

“To see you.” His eyes now met yours. That look, it broke you. It was hard to stare at him and really look at him, it reminded you of everything you could have had, everything that was supposed to be yours but was robbed by his decision to go neck deep into the Galindo Cartel, by your brother who was dragging him in even deeper. 

“Doesn’t it hurt?” Your words left your mouth before you could think. “What’s the point of this, Nestor? I’m not coming home, you’re not leaving. Why put ourselves through this shit.” 

“Because I miss you.” He said without hesitation. 

It sounded like a pick up line, but you knew it wasn’t. Nestor wasn’t going to play a game with you, things were too complicated for that. If he wanted a quick fuck he could get that easily, he wasn’t hard on the eyes, he had access to money if it really was finding itself to be a difficult task but you knew that wasn’t what he was here for. 

“I miss you too.” You closed your eyes before turning and putting the coffee pot back. “But this, this isn’t going to help anyone.” 

“I don’t care about anyone. I care about you.” Nestor had planned this out, he didn’t come here on a whim, it was on Miguel’s orders, yes, but he didn’t come here without thinking through his words. It was something the Nestor you grew up with never did, but Navy Nestor always did. With every letter he sent you, there was thought, intention, the service matured him in a way that your pining over him turned from a childhood crush to the man you wanted to marry. The man you knew would be a good husband. Protective. Funny. Thoughtful. Smart. Aware. But he took all those traits and gave them to Miguel instead. 

“You care about Miguel.” 

“And you don’t?” He retorted back to you. 

“He’s my big brother. Of course I do, but I can’t spend my time worrying about him–caring about him, he made his choice just like I did.” You lifted your hands up in defeat. 

“You work minimum wage at 4 jobs.” Nestor didn’t mean for it to come out harsh but it did, he just meant to put things into perspective for you. And he did. 

“And yet, I’m happier than I ever was then.” Your words also didn’t mean to come out harsh but, it did. 

“You gave up everything.” Nestor phrased it weirdly, it wasn’t so much a statement but it wasn’t so much a question either, somewhere in the middle of both. 

“Yea, you did.” You said staring deep into his eyes. 

It got silent, things got tense while you took a deep breath and kicked off the counter behind you. 

“In another life, maybe we chose each other.” You hoped the statement offered some type of closure, you knew if you didn’t end this now it would never stop. “But in this one, we made our choices clear and we have to live with that.”

Nestor nodded, he stood up from the seat and reached to his back pocket for his wallet. 

You lifted your hand up and shook your head. “On me.” 

Nestor hesitated, it didn’t feel right but he also knew it was barely a dollar worth of coffee so he nodded and turned to exit the diner. The bells from the door jingled as he opened it, the breeze hit you along with the realization of the situation.

“Nes.” You called out his nickname as he turned to look at you. “I wish things were different.” You wanted to leave him with some kind of peace, but deep down you knew it was also for you too. 

“Me too.” He nodded his hand still keeping the door open. “I’ll see you.” 

With that he closed the door, letting his hands fall into his pockets while he retreated to his black escalade that was parked in the lot. 

Your eyes looked down behind the counter, where your duffel bag sat, packed with all the things you needed to start new again. Having your own life where your brother knew where to find you wasn’t ideal anymore, you couldn’t live with one leg still connected to the Galindo family, so you knew this was the best thing moving forward. You’d find new jobs, you already had one lined up, it was a promotion too, not a minimum wage gig but something that paid more and was way more stable with the hours. The life you wished you would have had with him, but you were going to make for yourself at least. 

“No,” You shook your head as you mumbled under your breath. “You won’t.” 

Part 2

[ambisweetiepie]

Love Live SIF2

Don't mind me while i rant about Love Live.

I'm so annoyed!!!

I already knew I wasn't going to enjoy SIF2 as much as All Stars, because I had downloaded the japanese version to try it out.

Now that the global version is here, I was able to link my all stars and SIF account. SIF2 is only going to be around until May, but it's supposed to be available afterwards as basically just a gallery for the cards you got. You won't be able to play it at that point.

So I linked my old accounts, and they give a nice gallery for your old SIF cards, but nothing for All Stars??? Just give you some gatcha tickets??? You couldn't at least give me a gallery for my All Stars cards that I loved and cherished?????? You were able to do it for SIF, so why weren't you able to do it for All Stars???

Also! I know All Stars' game play wasn't for everyone. It relied on having good cards rather than having skill. You could play and switch between teams while not actually doing the rhythm game part. I really liked that!!! Even with the rythym game, there was a lot to keep track of (swapping teams, your SP gauge) but as a result they only made you tap left or right sides of the screen for the rythym game.

This was great for me because I can't actually play SIF's dumb rhythm game layout. It has nine buttons all over the screen. It hurts my hands if I try to do it much. It may have been more playable when the game first came out, because phone screens were smaller at the time. None of the buttons were a reach. But screens have gotten bigger and so there's no comfortable way to hold my phone and reach each button. They could've changed things to be like other rhythm games. Bandori, Proseka, and D4DJ all have the tapping section at the bottom. They've all managed to implement gameplay in that that still makes it fun and engaging.

More complaints:

When chatting, the text from the person you're chatting with goes by very fast. There's no way to adjust the speed of this. Once they're done talking and it's your turn to reply, everything other than the reply screen is dimmed out. So you have to struggle to finish reading what they just said.

My BIGGEST PET PEEVE OF THE GAME is that when picking out songs, they give you 8 seconds of song audio. So while you're deciding, and picking out your team, it's replaying over and over and it's so obnoxious. The only way to turn this off is to turn ALL background music for the entire game off. I'm not asking much, I think LLAS had it be like 15 seconds? Just a little longer makes the loop a little less annoying.

Small annoyance, is they tried to improve the mouth movements while talking to make all sorts of different shapes? This was unnecessary, and more immersion breaking than the simple open/close mouth movements they had previously.

Also, the old card art. I understand you don't want to have to start from scratch for cards, but including the old art means a few things: 1) You're asking people to try again for cards they already got in the past 2) A lot of that artwork is OLD OLD. And it makes things look less cohesive, and cheap. 3) When adding Nijigasaki to SIF, they never bothered to draw regular cards for them, instead just using their in game sprites from the visual novel sections. This also looks cheap. Other games have done the same thing (Like Obey Me) and it looks cheap and lazy there too.

I really liked everything about All Stars. It really improved a lot from SIF, but was different enough to warrant keeping both around.

They could have just had SIF2 be a replacement for SIF. If they're going to keep everything around from SIF (playstyle, cards, etc), that would've been acceptable. They've improved they UI by a lot and added features SIF didn't have. I stand by what I said from the "it's rude that people have to re-earn cards they already had" but other than that, it more or less seems an improved version of SIF. If they had let SIF players transfer their accounts over, and not closed down All Stars, I don't think they would've gotten near as much backlash as they did. Since All Stars was such a different game, and had those nice 3D graphics, it can't be considered a replacement the way it can be for SIF.

I like the texting with girls feature, even though it has issues. I like the "Daily Life of School Idol" feature, it's a cute alternative to the normal visual novel style and has nice illustrations.

All of that being said, some of my complaints are things that could be fixed. The game didn't have to close down. It's so disappointing to play a game knowing I'll only have until May. While they've mentioned this publicly, they haven't mentioned it in-game. I feel like it's important for anyone who plays to know that we're already months away from EOS. I don't want people spending big money in a game without knowing that it's not going to be around for much longer.

All of this being said, even though I'm upset, I don't want it to go. It fills that love live shaped hole in my heart. It's not the same having a PNG of Kanata tell me hello, compared to the 3D version of her saying hello, slightly being able to interact with her. But it's something. I don't even know for certain if they plan on making a new mobile game at this point.

[shytastemakerthing]

I saw your matchmaking was open! No pressure but, I'm looking for an MHA match up! I'll put some info about me.

I have blond hair to my armpits with bangs, blue eyes, I'm 5'4. I typically dress in more dresses or hyper feminine. I like to wear my hair in bubble braids or pigtails, sometimes both.

I'm going into film and directing, and I am a cheerleader, on the dance team and in track for extra curriculars. I like being theatre kid too, I love putting in shows for the crowds and playing a character.

My biggest passion really is films, I love creating new videos, to me it's an art form and I've loved it since like junior high. Though I can go on stage and do a play or give speeches, I am more on the shy side when one-on-one, I struggle to know what to say when I'm not going by a script, afraid I'll say the wrong thing. I play the guitar, mainly rock music, since rock and metal are what I listen too.

I have IED(Intermittent explosive disorder) and I struggle with night terrors, so I'd love someone understanding when it comes to that.

I'm not sure what else to put, but I'm an extrovert, I like being in crowds, just need a little time to warm up. I like going to the gym and working out. But I really do mostly spend my time doing anything with directory(ect, watching films, coming up with ideas, making mini-movies)

My biggest pet peeve is like-people who are constantly on their phones. Like always taking pictures or videos to post and not actually enjoying what's happening. Or people who brag about how high their snapscore is and how many followers they have.

No pressure to answer this!

Hello and thank you so much for your request! I am sorry that this took so long to get too but we are finally here! I do so hope that you like your request! I wasn't sure if you wanted romantic or platonic so I went with a romantic request!

Tw: None

I match you with........

Sako Atsuhiro (aka, Mr. Compress)

He was the very first person that came to mind as I was reading over your information and he stuck like a leech with all of the possibilities that would come from this stunning man.

Sako is a showman, that much is very known as we have seen throughout the episodes that we have seen him in.After he hears of your love of film and creating your own mini-movies, oh he was beyond thrilled.

You wouldn't mind him shadowing you right? He could provide some very helpful insight.

On a serious note, he absolutely loves this talent of yours. Oh how creative you must be when you come up with all of these ideas.

(He gets you a nice little journal to pen down your thoughts when they come to you)

His quirk comes in hand as well when it comes to your hobbies. He will merely compress down what would be needed and carry it around with him, bringing it out when you need it and once finished, it is back to being compressed and into his pocket.

With your night terrors, he is certainly there the moment that he hears anything is wrong.

Being a villain, he has had his fair share of them after everything he has seen, but right now, his attention is on you.

After having your permission, he will lay down next to you, gently soothing you. You can tell him what plagues you or not, whatever you are more comfortable with, it will not bother him. All he cares for is your well being.

On days where there are no missions that he needs to be on, he will don a disguise and slip into the city with you, perhaps to take you shopping for more of those beautiful dresses that you love.

Overall, he is a very attentive partner. One who encourages what it is that you love with such a passion in his voice and a fire in his eyes. You are his perfect muse and he will forever protect and cherish you.

Thank you for your request!!

[moonsmultimusings]

name — Moon

pronouns — he/him or they/them

preferred comms — discord is the easiest way to reach me (and mutuals can reach out to ask for it whenever!), but DMs work too!

name of muse — i hold them all in my arms at once like a bundle of flowers (that are all Very Sad). i cannot choose <3

experience in RP — pretty sure i'm going on a decade now! it's kind of crazy

best experiences — you know that feeling when you're RPing with someone and you just click? like, it's someone you can talk to and muse with and you love the way your characters get along? cases like that are always my favorite!

pet peeves / dealbreakers — when i was RPing years ago, there used to be a big thing about response times. making sure you're always online to respond. i had a partner who would guilt me if i had to log off to do anything at all, and it ended up being super stressful and detrimental to me. i don't know why i put up with it so long, but i did. so people who bother me all the time for responses are a big no-no for me.

muse preference ( fluff, angst, smut ) — i'll always be a fluff fan to my core. it's just who i am. sweet interactions with my muses are always favored! i don't mind angst in my threads, but mostly in the sense of using it as a set-up for some sweet hurt-comfort. that can be romantic or platonic as well!

plot or memes — i usually do more with plots, but i've been trying to do more memes recently and i've found it to be fun too. i'm not too picky!

long or short replies — if i write a reply that's too short, i shrivel up like a worm on a sidewalk. i burn alive like an ant under a microscope. i am legally required to write long replies for things that do not require it. i hope that helps :)

best time to write — whenever i have time, really! i tend to try and draft a few things up before bed almost every night, and sometimes during the day on days off.

are you like your muse — i tend to take on muses that i can relate to in some way, because it helps me feel more connected to the character. now, if you look at the roster of characters i have and analyze them to see what that actually says about me, it's. probably something i should speak to a therapist about lmaO

tagged by: @regensia and @fatexbound (thank you two! <3) tagging: @drinkitfrommymouthsuou @codedfaith @pareidolah and YOU if you haven't done this one yet! ^-^

[woniverse-writes]

Some of my pet peeves in fanfiction (sharing this because I can and I’m bored)

these are just my opinions. If you disagree, frankly I don’t care but these are things that annoy me. I’ve read a lot of fanfiction in the last few years, so this is just what my taste has developed into. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions though, so these are just things that I PERSONALLY don’t like when reading fics.

(This is kinda long. sorry lol)

Tagging unrelated subjects

If I search something for Bada Lee, I don’t wanna see something about Jam Republic

Unless both of them are in the post, then duh

I don’t care if I like both of them, I’m searching for a specific thing so why would I want to find something else

And I mean specifically if I look up one person, and I’m met with a post for someone else, but the person I’m searching for is still tagged for no reason

I don’t care if you’re trying to get reach, I think it’s annoying

ESPECIALLY if you’re tagging someone or something that’s completely unrelated

I’ve literally blocked people for saying they do it for reach- sorry but you’re really fucking annoying

Poorly written conflict

Fight scenes coming out of nowhere especially physical fights

I just read a fic where the reader slapped the person for no reason, like- girl wtf

And another one where the person it was about showed up out of nowhere and punched this person and knocked them out because they were jealous

Like- I get it, it’s all fake, but can we be a little realistic please 😭

This one feels a little mean, but poor grammar

If it’s once every now and then it doesn’t bother me, cuz even native speakers mess up their own language

But constantly using the wrong tense or spelling of a word really makes it hard for me to immerse myself

But again that’s just me personally

Misspelling and idols name

Girl I’m sorry but how are you gonna write about someone and not know how to spell their name correctly🧍‍♀️

Google is free babe

Changing the POV every other sentence

It throws me off so bad when I’m reading and the reader is referred to as “she/he/they” and then it suddenly switches up to “you” like- just pick one and stick with it plz

And don’t even get me started me started with first person povs- I will simply not read it, I’m sorry

Rushed relationships

Especially when it comes to enemies to lovers

I hate, hate, HATE when the pairing will meet each other and then be romantically involved like a week later

Or specifically in enemies to lovers, they hate each other for three years, and then the second they show one tiny ounce of anything other than hatred, the reader has forgotten everything

Again it’s just not realistic to me and it makes it hard for me to enjoy

Fluffy language

Like- over describing things and making it try to seem so much more descriptive

Or when coming up with nicknames

Unless it’s written satirically and meant to be cringy and weird on purpose, I can’t stand it

It just makes me cringe and I literally will not finish reading

Smut written but people that have no idea what they’re talking about

If you’ve never read smut, you probably shouldn’t write smut

Unless you’ve like- had sexual experiences

I’m just really picky with smut specifically

I’ve just read (and not finished reading) so many fics written by people that are either clearly underage and trying to sound like they’re adults, or from people that sound like they’re trying too hard

I promise you- we don’t need the 12 different descriptors of how the pussy feels in one sentence

Not understanding the person/character you’re writing about

I get this more if you’re doing a request for someone and you maybe don’t know them as much

But if you’re a fan of a group or show, how are you not gonna know the person you’re writing about…

Like just missing key factors in their personality

OR

zeroing in on ONLY certain factors of their personality and throwing away the rest of it

Some big ones I notice are people not knowing how to write for Ni-ki from enhypen and Hao from zerobaseone

[an-aura-about-you]

starting in on Handbook for Mortals and I'm just going to cover all the miscellaneous beginning crap that this thing is wrapped in before actually starting on the story.

first thing I'm going to talk about is what's on the back of the book because not a lot of people talk about what was chosen for that. usually there's a brief blurb with the premise of the book or maybe some reviews, sometimes even a little paragraph directly from it to entice the reader. that last one is my standby when I need to put a summary for a fic.

Handbook for Mortals went the route of paragraph from the book as well as three quotes from romance author Skye Turner, who also wrote the foreword for the book, and the promise that this book will soon be turned into a movie. which was due to come out *checks my wrist* six years ago. this has not yet happened, but the author is still insisting it will.

anyway, the bit chosen from the book to highlight what we're getting into is a conversation between our main character and her love interest, which is meant to be some enemies to lovers stuff. but honestly I'm a bit uncomfortable at the, "looked like he might hit me, but I knew that wasn't really an option for him," in there. so, we are already setting up our love interest as a person who needs some kind of mental restraining bolt to refrain from violence instead of just, y'know, not being violent. really speaks to his morals right there. absolutely trustworthy, surely his resolve is ironclad.

this also speaks to the genre of the book because there's a lot of talk about this book having magic and being magical but it's the romance we're choosing to set up here. I think it's safe to say magic is going to be present in this book the way coffee is in a coffee shop au fanfic: it's technically true but it's not why we're reading the story and ultimately not important to it.

I'm not even gonna bother with the blurb on the inside of the dust jacket because it's literally just a synopsis of the entire book. even the ending. I'm not even kidding.

now I wanna talk about the autographs my copy came with. the book I bought for $2 off of Amazon was signed by both the author Lani Sarem and actor-potential producer of the movie Thomas Ian Nicholas, and both of them write some pretty weird things to the people they gave this book to. (there were two names in the personalizations as well as a post-it note with those same names. my best guess is one person in the couple preordered the book with Sarem, requested that it be signed, and then never picked it up. hilarious if true.)

I'll start with American Pie guy's dedication first:

"Be the magician who fools magicians."

like. what? what does that even mean?

Sarem's is both worse and funnier:

"Never forget those who do not believe in magick will never find it! Thanks for believing!"

well I guess they didn't believe too much if they never picked up their book. also that just feels so mean-spirited to me. had I written a similar dedication, I would phrase it as, "Never forget those who believe in magic will always find it!" then it's still exclusive without needlessly dragging others down for ~not being able to find the magic in their lives~. not to mention my own personal pet peeve with the whole magick thing, but that is a rant for considerably later.

there is a typo in the book's disclaimer:

"Any similarity to real persons, living or deal,"

but also that doesn't make sense because I know this book has the real life Plain White T's with their real names as well as Carrot Top and Wayne Newton.

there's also proof that Sarem had permission to use all the song lyrics she uses in the story, which are so copious that without thinking I originally wrote the word, "fic," in this sentence. because yeah, this reeks of songfic, the rare example of one where the person writing has permission to actually use the song. look, I've only seen song lyrics work in a book exactly once, and that was Good Omens. and Lani Sarem is not Terry Pratchett or Neil Gaiman.

(I should know, I just listened to the audiobook for Stardust as a sort of cleanser to remind me what a good book sounds like. it's shockingly refreshing listening to the work of an author who is actually good at their job.)

the dedication is also just. ugh:

"This is dedicated to: The granddaughters of the witches you could not burn and for all those who believe in Magic."

that exists in print in this book. I'm assuming seriously.

I took a peek at how long the foreword is but don't have time to get in on it before I start work today, so this is where I leave things for now.

[captainsspnanon]

C3E75 - reaction

WHAT an episode!!!

Starts off 'strong', what with the party trying to figure out how to get to a cave entrance....that turned out to be 150-200 feet away. XD AKA - like 30 seconds of walking, a minute if it's consider difficult terrain. Obviously it was more than that considering the vertical climb, but the reveal of the distance was very funny to me.

Honestly, the climb down the tunnel ended up being easier than I expected it to be! I was expecting a few more checks at least, but there were good tactics to get down.

I appreciate that Sam is using Message the way it's intended. I remember at the beginning of the campaign he used it to just send a feeling, rather than words. I think the latest 4SD may have helped him feel more comfortable with reusing things that previous PCs have done without feeling like he's stepping on their toes. I definitely don't think it was WRONG the way he was doing it before, but it's also good that he doesn't feel like he has to Do It Different, even if it makes things More Difficult.

The little fire creatures were so adorable, I can't wait to see the fanart of it! (My mom likened the voices and short lives with Spurt, RIP 11 days)

They got the shard of Rau'shan! Seems like the cast has a similar idea of having Fearne be the one to integrate the shard, but they've got a bit yet before they figure out how to do it (and especially how to awaken both of them).

I miss the more devastating consequences of lava/magma. Vax melted his foot after just a brief dip, meanwhile Ashton is absolutely fine after 18 seconds being fully submerged, same with Fearne even though she was only in for 6. I wonder if this was discussed out of game as feeling too punishing, but I would have loved to see some long term consequences for the trip, rather than just losing some clothes and briefly superheated skin.

I will admit, I do not understand at all why Ludinus is here. What does he need the shard for? The Hells are getting it because of Ashton backstory purposes, how does it tie in to the Ruidus stuff? Also why was Ludinus scrying on the party to begin with? Aside from at the initial combat, they really haven't done anything else to mess with his plans, right? This totally might just be a me thing of missing something obvious.

EPIC combat!!! Liam's turn with the pushing attacks deserved all the table energy it got, and the counterspell-off was PERFECT. (Side note, I'm a bit sad that I know the rules better now. Ludinus didn't need to roll at all for his counterspell, right? Because Laudna only cast at third level, so it should have instantly worked. BUT IT WAS STILL AN EPIC MOMENT even if I'm pretty sure it's against RAW)

also LOL Ashton's just fully Donald Ducking the combat XD I am also looking forwards to fanart of this.

I really appreciated the fact that the table was very tactics heavy with this combat, even if it didn't all play out the way they wanted. Actually, Travis seemed a bit off this entire episode - being a lot more against the first whole initial journey down the tunnel and into the cavern way more than expected, and then getting very upset once he realized he was trying to do two bonus actions. Nothing bad about this, but just off from him typical behavior.

The bit below is going to be a bit negative towards Taliesin, so only click if you want to read it. It definitely gets a bit discourse-y.

Sadly, this episode ended up hitting a lot of my personal pet peeves with Taliesin's play style. Please note that these are my PERSONAL SUBJECTIVE feelings, not some objective truth. They are play style aspects which very much clash with how I play, and so bother me even though I'm not the one playing at the table.

First - I rewatched the section to make sure I didn't miss something. Going down the tunnel, Marisha talks to Matt that she's using Spider Climb, rolls, and gets a bad result. Then Matt turns to Tal to get his number, Taliesin gives his idea of using rage and widening the tunnel (a great idea, don't get me wrong!), Marisha indicates that she's already climbing, and then Tal goes "I thought I was going first"

No. He didn't say before that he was going, I watched the second again! He saw Marisha go, get a bad roll, and then try to make it so that he actually went first so her bad roll wouldn't have impact. I've said this during my C2 rewatch for stuff with other players, including Liam, but if he wanted to go first, he should have interrupted at any point BEFORE Marisha announced her result of failing.

Second - Someone sees something, I think it was Orym with his 31 passive?, but Ashton/Taliesin is the one to react about seeing it. Matt even shut it down this time, making it clear that Ashton didn't see it. He's done this now every campaign, and I'm pretty sure multiple times. It just really hits me the wrong way.

Third - He has Ashton just stand up and go to the lava pool on his own without getting input or waiting for the other players. 100% fine! Everyone does this, and it's in character to do so. BUT then he's like 'i'm doing it, i'm just going off on my own and doing it! but if you wanna help! yeah i'm going off on my own no waiting but yes help me help me cast spells and benefits but i'm just going off of my own no waiting'. Yes, that is clearly exaggerated, but when players go off and do things on their own, I want them to be going off and doing things on their own! Multiple times in all three campaigns, a player will have their PC go off and do something, and usually the verbal conversation is "too late i'm doing it" or "can't stop me I already said it" or something to the equivalent. This? Honestly it doesn't feel like a PC going off and doing something on their own, it feels like Taliesin interrupting the stuff going on at the table and demanding front and center.

And the thing is that Taliesin has had MANY times in the campaigns where his PC has gone off and done something on his own WITHOUT this feeling! But just how it was portrayed here really got to me.

I recognize all of the above is personal nitpicks, and it is their table, and many people will disagree with me. But I just wanted to vent.

[anti-dazai-blog]

how do you deal with hate? like from what I understand, you posted your first "controversial" post knowing that people might hate you for it, and you did so anyways. even tho it might have felt like you were the only one who believed those things at the time. where do you get the confidence? cause honestly that was such a slay.

Like, obvi we all have our own opinions and I don't agree with everything you said but the confidence you had.. grrrr i like it so much 💗💗 i love it when people are real with their opinions.

okay ty, im sorry for rambling, gonna stop here now 😭😭

I really want to play it cool and say something like “I just don’t care what people think of me,” but honestly? Yeah I was terrified of posting my first BSD-related post.

I had been enjoying the BSD fandom from afar for about a year before posting anything about it. I’ve always had this personal pet peeve when (fictional or real) bullies get a free pass to be assholes when they’re conventionally attractive, but that applies to all fandoms, not just BSD and not just Dazai. 

(Note that that’s not a moral stance, there’s nothing wrong with liking a morally grey character, and there’s nothing wrong with finding a bad (fictional or real) person to be physically attractive. This pet peeve of mine stems more from how (fictional) bullies who aren’t attractive are seen as the biggest evil unleashed upon the world, while fictional bullies who are attractive are seen as The Ideal Boyfriend)

One day I saw a post pointing out one of the things Dazai did that bothered me, and I really wanted to add to it via reblog, but I was concerned I’d derail the original post, so I screenshot it and wrote a whole follow-up rant. 

Then I saved that post in my drafts for three days.

I posted something vague like “I really want to talk about this one character from this one fandom, but the fandom is very aggressive and they’d burn me at the stake if I said anything too controversial”

I don’t think I intended to explicitly tag it with anything searchable, but I must have said something like “#yeah this is about bsd those guys are scary”— apparently that counts as tagging it #bsd by tumblr’s standards, and someone from the bsd fandom (who I’m now mutuals with) responded with something like “most of us are nice! We wanna hear what you have to say!!” 

That was enough motivation for me to get that post out of drafts, and even then I didn’t post it immediately. I scheduled it to post for a time when I wasn’t home, so that if there’d be backlash I wouldn’t have to witness it live and I could just delete the post later.

Not only was there no backlash, but hardly anyone saw the post. Iirc it got between 3-5 notes. That was what gave me the confidence to continue talking about my (admittedly controversial) fandom opinions. 

My main blog is primarily a Shakespeare/Classic Lit blog, and the online fandom for those things encourages controversial opinions (as opposed to the standard anime blog, where it seems like posting controversy is a taboo). So once I had the confidence to interact with an anime fandom in the first place, it wasn’t too hard to post my controversial opinions, because that’s the internet culture I’m more used to.

As for how I deal with the hate, you’ll be glad to know there’s only one person on this entire site who sends (bsd-related) hate. If you’ve received any hate, it’s from her. So while I have received hate messages (everything ranging from “your blog sucks” to graphic suicide bate and murder threats), knowing it’s all from the same person makes it all pretty meaningless. Everyone else on tumblr just blocks what they don’t want to see, either by blocking blogs they’d like to avoid or by blocking tags for subjects that annoy them. 

Since I tag anything that speaks of Dazai in a negative way as “#anti Dazai,” I don’t often run into people who don’t want to see negative character analysis who’ve discovered my posts accidentally.

If you want to post about something, go right ahead! The people who enjoy the content you make will follow you, and the people who don’t will block you, and everyone will curate their own tumblr experience to make this site something we can all enjoy. Admittedly if the fandom you’d like to post to is bsd, you WILL get harassed by that one person, but everyone else in this fandom has gotten harassed by her too. We mostly just ignore her at this point. 

Posting controversial opinions to fandom spaces can be scary, but if you have something you’d like to post, go for it! I personally would recommend starting a side blog for it, that way if things really do get out of hand you could delete it easily without losing your tumblr account. But the most likely outcome is that it wouldn’t gain enough traction for anyone to be overly bothered by it. Controversial things are more often ignored than hated on.

(For context, I’m referring to this blog too! I’m a tiny little blog. So please don’t interpret that as some veiled insult, I’m in this group of “tiny controversial fandom blog” too)

Anyway. Best of luck to you!! And remember, the point of posting things is to have fun! If it’s causing more stress than enjoyment, there’s no shame in taking a break or logging off for a bit. I’ve taken multiple breaks, and I only post to the Anti-Dazai Series when I enjoy what I’m posting. 

[Also. I absolutely love controversial fandom opinions, especially if they’re well written. It doesn’t matter to me whether or not I agree, so long as it’s a cool or original take on the source material. So if you wanna dm me, I’ll definitely follow you and your blog full of all your hottest takes]

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

Im gonna give you kind of a thinker here: the Swede

originally wrote "this is absolutely a thinker bc the swede is probably the crew member i care about the least" and then i wrote a million fucking words. i am chronically incapable of shutting up.

favorite thing about them: saying "the accent" feels like a cop out but there's not really a lot going on with the swede. so yeah it's the accent. also it was really funny to me when i started watching A League of Their Own and nat faxon was there

least favorite thing about them: ok weird pet peeve but why do he and buttons both have long blond hair. one of the many details that i love abt ofmd is how there's so much variety in the crew's "character designs," which i feel like is harder to get in a show that isn't animated, but the fact that there's two bitches with long blond hair bothers me so much. it's like if there were two characters who wore an orange beanie or two characters with a scar covering one eye or or two characters with stars tattooed around their right eye or two characters who wore their hair in a man bun. like it's a distinctive physical characteristic and it's used twice. this bothers me and has been bothering me for months

favorite line: "The teeth don't go back in!" is something me and my dad regularly quote to each other

brOTP: this is not something i've ever thought about until right now so i'm just gonna throw the two blond bitches on the ship into a jar and shake them around. imagine buttons and the swede hanging out a lot (the swede chilling in a barrel while buttons sails) and everything buttons says scares the shit out of the swede but he's just nervously like "öh! hähä!" the whole time. but he keeps willingly hanging out with buttons all the time and nobody can figure out why

OTP: ok by no means is this an otp but izzy x the swede is my favorite izzy x crew member ship (or the izzy x crew member ship i hate the least) bc it's so fucking funny to me. *benoit blanc voice* it makes no damn sense. compels me, though. wait SHIT alternate answer that i just thought of: the swede x spanish jackie. what if in season 2 the swede marries jackie in return for a ship. obsessed.

nOTP: idk man. probably the swede x a badminton? the swede x king george?? i have zero thoughts about this one

random headcanon: im too lazy to come up with something new so enjoy these three old posts

unpopular opinion: there's a small but nonzero amount of like. transfem swede content??? or fanart of the swede in sundresses and girly clothes. and like, i dont really give a shit, but i feel like a big reason for the existence of fem swede content is his physical appearence?? he has long blond hair and he's thin and he's young(er than buttons, another thin guy with long blond hair) and he has no facial hair. i haven't rlly looked at fem swede stuff so idk if there's more to the headcanon than that but as someone who matches that physical description and who isn't a girl it kinda makes me :/ but also it's possible that my very mild discomfort with this is just my own brain, and the swede's physical appearance has nothing to do with why this hc/fan content exists

song i associate with them: barbie girl by aqua bc of an ask i got once. also rest in peace scurvybarbie, deactivated too soon

favorite picture of them: this bad edit i did in response to that ask

[potatopossums]

i have a problem with people who, very loudly, don't like men. I'm not talking about not being attracted to men, I mean just being straight-up, openly disgusted by men constantly, making fun of and being grossed out by men, masculine people, anyone who appears to look male or masculine at all by their judgment. they literally just hate men. idc if you have trauma about this, your trauma does not excuse you from being a hyperbolic jerk toward people. i personally find it really gross that men existing is your biggest pet peev.

I had a friend who had an issue with male/masculine bodies, for example, men not wearing a shirt: men swimming, men exercising, men training, men sunbathing, men relaxing, men sleeping. it's not sexual to not be wearing a shirt. there's nothing wrong with seeing a male or masculine torso. there's nothing inherently sexual about shirtless men. they're just existing. now, shirtless men getting too close to you or invading your space or being rude to you or making unwanted conversation or advances? that is different. but a man just EXISTING without a shirt on, not bothering you, not talking to you, and you still feel the need to say how uncomfortable you are with them being around, how you think all men should wear shirts even in cases like the above where it's normal for men to wear less clothes — that's a you thing. it is skewed and unfair.

i also don't think depreciating jokes about men are funny. i don't think depreciating jokes about trans men are funny. i don't think depreciating jokes about masculine people are funny. it's just not funny. stop making men and masculine people into villains because of their bodies and physical features. they are people and they deserve to be on this earth. leave them alone and get some therapy. don't make your shit opinions other people's problem. you can express discomfort about being around people without being a jerk. but no, you just hate men. that doesn't make you woke or cool at all. I've met my fair share of shit people, plenty of shit men, plenty of shit women, shit nonbinary people, shit people in general. I've also met wonderful people from those groups. so please. stop treating people like shit.

also, most recent addition: stop belittling men and making their artistic and intellectual achievements into nothing once you find out they're men. more context: i also had a trans friend of mine make fun of a transmasculine artist for being a man, completely discrediting his queer art and being disappointed that such good art was made "by a man:" first of all, he's not a man, he's transmasculine, and no, that's not the same thing. second of all, he's bigender, and my friend didn't even know what that meant, so that's red flag #2. literally, just stop making fun of people. stop. it's not funny or cute. it's really upsetting and it tells me a lot about how you're going to treat me and my friends.

[oathofpromises]

3, 4, 5

3. do you have a pet peeve when it comes to shipping?

I do have a few pet peeves when it comes to shipping. The first, is some people assuming just because I ship a character with someone else muse that it automatically means I will ship that regardless. This goes for just because someone ships their muse with another person who writes same character as me, that doesn’t mean I will ship with them too. While it maybe true that I adore certain ships no matter what. I don’t like having someone force their muse onto mine. I have had this happen before and it really does just drain my motivation to want to write with that person and in general sometimes too.

Another pet peeve of mine is not bothering to read someone rules when it comes to shipping. This is a huge red flag to me because how is someone going expect another to understand their boundaries if they don’t take time know theirs. For example there are ships that make me highly uncomfortable for valid reasons, so when someone still tries to send me asks trying ship that..it just makes me really not want to be here for a bit. I usually end up soft blocking or blocking to curate my space but still it isn't much to read someone else rules for shipping. Both writing partners deserve to feel comfortable.

The last one I can think of is people being hateful towards a ship. For example, my Riku I write as being gay. It's just how I perceive him, there was a time I was writing Soriku on twitter and people would like vague tweet about a thread me and my writing partner were working on. Someone even called him a dog once, which please don't. I get some characters might talk this way but the character who said this to my Riku was another Sora so;;; yeah just be respectful with how someone portrays their character sexuality. As someone that's bisexual and gotten hate in the past, it just is very discouraging when people in character will be hateful towards a character because of their orientational. Just people need be mindful of how they are coming across even in character.

4. do you prefer to plot a ship, or would you rather “wing it”?

I am a slow burn ship writer, unless the person is a close friend and I trust them with my muse. I still ask that they talk to me about it before just randomly sending stuff. Plotting is much more fun to me though, it allows so much development over time. I adore going back through discussions or threads with shipping partner’s and just seeing how the characters fell in love with each. That growth and hardships they maybe faced to get to that point.

Now this isn’t to say that I am against winging it sometimes there are threads you just want to do something really soft but again this is mostly with friends or mutuals that have talked about shipping certain characters with me. I do ask that if someone would like to ship to ask first and we can definitely talk about it. I’m not going out right say no but again it depends on the ship. There are ones I will never do for boundary and comfortably reasons. Communication is important regardless.

5. do you prefer fast plots, pre-established relationships or slow burns?

Slow burns, I want to see the chemistry between two characters form. Did they start out as childhood friends and develop from there or was it one of those they met later in life and it grew over time. I just think it’s important to a ships development to see their emotions. Why did they end up falling for that person, how does the other make them feel.

Again though, that isn’t to say pre-established one’s are bad because they aren’t. There are some characters I write that are canonical in love with another character but they still have some development that lead up to that. I also am not opposed to writing pre-established ones since that does give a lot to work with, but with these type of dynamics I usually am only comfortable with friends.

[buildingshitwithcrab]

In regards to the Ily doll accessory packs just reblogged, there is one pet peeve of fandom that has apparently wormed its way into official merch theming that I have to vent about:

Books ARE NOT Belle's life. They're a means to an end, in a life that she's quasi-accepted may never change in the ways she wants it to.

The movie makes this clear and I don't know how it gets missed: she reads to have the adventures that real life has been denying her with its daily monotony.

SHE WANTS ADVENTURE. SHE SAYS SO. IT'S A BIG CRESCENDO IN A SONG.

Even in Adam's castle, she's so happy about the huge library BECAUSE SHE THINKS SHE HAS TO LIVE AND DIE THERE, and the books will be her only escape from the grounds.

But once she breaks Adam's curse, they're free to go anywhere, do anything they f'ing please! And he's long since released her from the prisoner terms she'd agreed to, so Belle would be free with or without him.

The books are/were her escape from feeling trapped. She is not going to spend every waking minute of the rest of her free (and now financially privileged) life reading. She's going to be seeing the world she's previously only been able to read about. Would she keep reading about even more places to see? Most likely! But she would be absolutely miserable being tied to running a bookshop*. She. Wants. So. Much. More. She wants adventure. She said so.

Ultimately, Belle is fictional. If kids who love to read find her relatable and feel less out of place for it, great. But at the same time, from older fans, it feels like choosing to ignore what someone is clearly telling you, to project what you want onto their lives, instead, and that bothers me. Women get talked over and second-guessed by strangers enough in real daily life. It's really disheartening to see it happen to fictional women, as well, because the person/people doing it just don't give a shit about listening, even to someone they sympathize with.

*why is there a pervasive belief that running a bookshop requires zero work and means being able to sit on a stool behind a counter and read all day? Or any shop based on a person's interests? Owning the shop means doing all of the ordering and stocking and cleaning and customer service yourself. Belle can't get the townspeople to listen to her reviews when she's not trying to sell them the book.