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anniemika · 7 months ago

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Lost and Found

Eren Jaeger x Female Reader

Chapter IV: One Step at a Time

Chapter summary: Searching for a path to your forgiveness, Eren yearns to bridge the gap his absence has left in your and your daughter’s lives, realizing how hard it’s going to be with every step of the way.

Words: 14.2k

Chapter 3

A/N: Yeaaah… it’s not like I’m 6 months late lol. I’m sorry for the long wait. I thought about splitting the chapter into two, but then again, you’ve waited for so long, might as well post the whole thing. I’m so very grateful to everyone who asked me about this story. It means a lot because believe me, it is hard to write such complex relationships, so having you have real interest in it means the world.🥹🫶🏻 hope you enjoy it!!

…..

Eren knew the path to your house by heart.

Even though you lived on the other side of town, he still remembered how he would walk you home everyday, and then walk all the way back to his house. It was your “thing”. He never let you go home by yourself.

But now, as he drove his black BMW, that looked absurd as opposed to the quaint streets of your simple town, he realized he never felt this nervous going to your house before. Even when you were teenagers and he’d spend the entire way thinking of a way to kiss you, it didn’t come even close to how anxious he felt at the moment. Because back then, he had nothing to lose. Now, with everything he held dear hanging in the balance, the weight of his fears bore down on him.

He parked his car beside the fence of your house, that looked exactly the same as it did the first time he walked you home. Light blue, with a little marking at the entrance that was his doing. He remembered how he’d taken a red marker and written yours and his initials on it. It wasn’t big enough for your mom to see, but both of you knew it was there. As he stepped outside, his eyes became glued to it. He wondered if Lily ever noticed and perhaps asked you about it.

He looked at the porch, the one he used to kiss you on, and it transported him right back when you were 16. When seeing you walk out the door and towards his arms was the most important thing in the world. He felt like an idiot for ever thinking there was anything else that could come close to that feeling.

His legs carried him to the front door, the familiar creak of the porch serving as a reminder of all the times he’d stood on this threshold, waiting for you. His heart pounded inside his chest as he lifted his hand to knock on your door. The little person that appeared in front of him was not the one he expected to open it.

Lily peered up at him, her eyes curious as she hid half of her tiny body behind the door, only her head peeking behind it.

“Hey there, Lily.” Eren smiled at her, a little nervous as he looked down at his little copy, “Is your mom home?"

Lily continued to stare up at him, ignoring his question with her own, "Who are you?"

Eren froze in his place. How the hell was he supposed to introduce himself?

He swallowed thickly, but still maintained his smile, “About time I told you my name, huh? It’s Eren. I'm-”

"Are you my mom's new boyfriend?" The little girl looked at him skeptically.

Eren found himself at a loss for words by the straightforwardness of the question. He began to think, trying to come up with a response that would answer her curiosity without delving into the complicated nature of his relationship with you.

“No, I’m not. I’m.. an old friend of hers.” The moment the words were uttered, he felt a surge of frustration run through him. You weren’t just friends who’d lost touch over the years. To reduce everything you’d gone through together to a mere friendship that had just faded away felt like a whole new betrayal. But still, as much as he wanted to, Eren knew he couldn’t tell the beautiful little girl in front of him the truth. Not just yet. “I really need to talk to her. Is she here?”

“Lily, I’ve told you not to open the door-“

You appeared in a flash, and Eren could sense your protective instincts kicking in, like a mama bear ready to defend her cub. You were in your bath robe, which made Eren a bit uncomfortable, appearing on a Sunday and catching you off guard. When your eyes landed on him, they widened, but he had to fight his from going down to your collar bones. Don’t, you asshole.

“Hey.” His voice was low and gentle, but that didn’t stop your frown from appearing. He watched as you instructed Lily to go inside, who sent him a smile before telling him bye.

“Bye, Lily.” Seeing her go inside, he wondered when he’d be able to see her beautiful smile again. Like he always wondered if he’d ever be able to see yours.

“Why are you here?” You brought his attention back to you, sensing the guardedness in your voice. Looking at him like he was your enemy, like he wanted to do you harm. He hated it.

“I’m sorry for showing up like this, but I really need to talk to you.” He had the feeling you’d say no, so his first instinct was to cut you off. “Please, Y/n. Just an hour, whenever you can.”

He could only imagine how you must be feeling right now, put on the spot like that. But Eren had no other choice.

You studied him for a moment, your eyes revealing nothing. Eren’s heart was in his throat. He didn’t know if he should say something, plead with you again, or just remain silent. He decided on the latter, even though it was excruciatingly difficult to withstand your penetrating stare.

“You can’t just keep showing up like this. You know that.”

He did. It felt so wrong to disturb your life like this, but his selfishness was stronger than anything else inside of him.

“I know, I’m sorry.” He did his best to stop his voice from wavering. “I won’t bother you, I promise. Just please consider it.”

It felt like hours going by as he waited for you to say something. His fists clenched and unclenched as he struggled to tear his gaze away from you, his eyes drinking in every detail that had been denied to him for so long. He wanted to memorise your face in case you shut the door in his. Here, right now, in this vulnerable state, with your face untouched by make up, your hair casually gathered into a messy bun, body wrapped in your bathrobe. He watched you instinctively trying to shield yourself from him, a physical barrier reflecting the emotional walls that had been erected between you.

But to Eren, you were more beautiful like this than ever before.

“Fine.” The word rung in the air, and it took a second for Eren to grasp it, “Tomorrow, 2p.m., Daisy cafe. It’s my lunch break, so I won’t have an hour.”

His green eyes almost dilated, his face contorting into a smile. He wanted to wrap his arms around you, barely stopping himself. You were giving him a shot. He couldn’t possibly ask for more. “Yeah, sure, of course. Thank you.”

“Okay, then.” You cast your eyes down at your feet. Eren could sense you weren’t comfortable looking at him. “We have to get going, so..”

“Oh, yeah, sorry.” He moved back a bit as if not to intrude your space. “I’ll- I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Bye.”

A heart beat later, you’d closed the door.

Eren lingered on your porch for a moment longer, basking in the afterglow of your agreement. His heart drummed a rapid rhythm in his chest, the echo of his pure bliss. You were going to talk to him. That glimmer of hope managed to fuel his determination like nothing else. It was euphoric, almost like he was floating. As he slid into his car, the scene replayed in his mind like a movie scene.

As he navigated the familiar streets, his smile was unwavering, a childlike glee etched on his face. The sudden ring of his phone disrupted the serene silence of the car. The device was new, its number known only to his father, which made the incoming call a curiosity. His mind flickered to the luggage he had left behind at the hotel, intended for his old house. The call, he thought, was likely related to that.

The moment he picked up, he regretted it.

“Hello!?”

Shit.

It was Hange. His manager.

How the hell did she get this number?

“It was about damn time, Eren!”

He sighed. He should’ve known they wouldn’t let go of him that easily.

“What do you want, Hange?”

“What do I want? What do I want!?” Her laughter echoed in the car, but it was laced with bitter irony. “Do you have any idea how much time I spent trying to find you? You bailed out on us and left without so much as an explanation!”

“I think I gave enough of an explanation.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry, I forgot about the “I’m done living this life anymore” crap. Sorry if I didn’t believe you after saying it for the hundredth time without actually doing anything about it.”

“You can believe what you want. The reality is, I’m done.”

A brief silence ensued before she spoke again, her voice unusually grave.

“Eren, are you on drugs again?”

He didn’t know why, but it made him laugh, “Actually, for the first time, I’m as sober as can be.” He took a deep breath before speaking again. He had to end this once and for all. “Hange, I’ve talked to my lawyers. I want out of the contract.”

“You can’t do that, Eren. The contract’s not done for another year!”

“Watch me.”

“Eren, where the hell are yo-“

He ended the call before she could finish her sentence.

He recognised the unfairness of his actions. Hange was a good manager, even though he was sure she’d gone nuts after so many years of dealing with him and his band mates. But if he wanted to get his old life back, he had to leave this one behind. For good.

…..

10 years ago

The last day of school. A day that set you free from the tight grasp of constant homework and irritable teachers. A day that also somehow seemed to amplify the pounding in a certain green eyed boy’s heart as he laid next to you on the lush green grass, the school building mere meters behind you, forgotten for the next three months.

Eren thought tenth grade wasn’t like any other grade before it. It was the most fun he’d ever had at school, and the strange thing was, he didn’t even get into that much trouble. Well, if he really got to think about it, he knew there was a reason behind his change. Ever since that rainy day you opened up to each other for the first time, you’d become inseparable. It was so weird - one day, you didn’t even know that much about each other, then the next - he was walking you home and telling you about his dreams. You did, too. About life and your fears and your hopes. Late night conversations had become a regular occurrence, sharing every little thought, like and dislike with each other. And the best thing was, there was no judgement. It was a safe space between you two, a time when the world faded into the background and it was just you and him, baring your souls to one another. There were nights when the topics were deep and introspective, delving into the complexities of life and the future. Others, the conversations were light-hearted and filled with laughter, going into the early hours of the morning.

Sitting together in class, at lunch, and even after school became the norm for both of you. It was as if you were two pieces of a puzzle, blending seamlessly into each other’s lives. Eren found himself looking forward to each day, eager to see your smile and hear your voice. Your presence brought him a sense of comfort and happiness that he had never experienced before. He admired your strength and your ability to see the beauty in even the smallest things. Your passion for life ignited a fire within him, inspiring him to write about subjects he had never thought of before, like.. love.

Eren couldn't deny the growing feelings he had for you, feelings that went beyond friendship. He found himself captivated by your every word, your every smile, and your every touch. The way his heart raced whenever you were near was a clear indication that his emotions had transformed into something deeper. And, as dense as he seemed, he couldn't help but notice the subtle shifts in your interactions as well. The lingering gazes, the gentle brushes of hands, and the way your laughter seemed to fill the air with an extra sparkle whenever he was around.

But, as much as Eren thought he knew what was hidden behind your actions, he couldn't shake the uncertainty that clouded his mind. He questioned whether you actually felt the same way, whether his heart's desires were reciprocated. The fear of jeopardizing the beautiful connection you shared kept him from confessing his feelings outright.

Yet, the last day of school marked a turning point, a moment when Eren decided to seize the opportunity that the summer break presented. He couldn't bear the thought of spending one more day in the dark, hiding his feelings from you without knowing if there was a chance for something more to happen.

As you both laid next to each other, Eren's heart beat like it never had before. He mustered the courage to take your hand in his, intertwining your fingers together. The touch sent a jolt of electricity through his veins, reassuring him that he was on the right path.

With a trembling voice, he turned to you, his heart on his sleeve. "I've been wanting to tell you something," he waited for you to look at him before he continued, trying not to get lost in the pretty hue of your eyes. "This past year with you has been the best time of my life. You've become my best friend and.. so much more.” His mind repeated that he should turn his face away from yours, or else he might burst into flames. Nonetheless, the grip he had on your hand tightened. Go on, you idiot.

“But Y/n, I.. I haven’t been completely honest with you.”

At that, your eyebrows arched, mouth falling slightly agape in confusion. That’s when you really noticed the redness of his cheeks, the vulnerability in his eyes. It was a look you hadn’t seen on his face before.

"Truth is.. I'm in love with you.” There it was, out in the open. He’d done it. There was no turning back now.

Watching your eyes go wide brought him a kind of anxiety his heart couldn’t handle. His hands had been sweating for the past 5 minutes, and he prayed to god you hadn’t noticed. And if he could get a glimpse of what was inside your mind, he’d realise that indeed, you hadn’t noticed, because there was nothing else that could get your attention except for his confession that was heavily hanging in the air.

Your mind replayed the word what, what, what, over and over again, and you thought about pinching yourself to be absolutely sure this was happening. He was in love with you. Eren just confessed he was in love with you. The boy you’d spent ninety percent of your time with, who’d become your best friend, confidant, shoulder to cry on when your dad forgot to call you on your birthday, who’d made you laugh until you had tears prickling your eyes, who’d walked you home every single day after school even though he didn’t have to, who’d given you his lunch when you didn’t bring one yourself. That Eren. YourEren.

The silence had gone on for too long. The green eyed boy felt the need to fill it, hoping he didn’t screw things up beyond repair.

“But I want you to know I understand if you don't feel the same way. Our friendship means a lot to me, and I don't want to jeopardize that."

You blinked a few times at him, your mind racing, trying to comprehend all the emotions swirling within you. You had to say something, even though your breath was caught in your lungs.

“I..”, you began, unsure of where to go. It was your first experience with.. situations like this. And if the person lying beside you was any other boy, it probably would’ve been a lot easier. But this was him. And because of how much he meant to you, it was scarier than you could’ve imagined.

But even though you were scared, you were also thrilled. Because, the fact of the matter was, you were head over heels for this boy.

“Can I tell you something too?” You asked quietly, eyes unconsciously focused on his lips.

“Of course.”

You didn’t even realise when it was you’d leaned in. But you did. With your lips gently caressing his, for the briefest moment. Then back you were, staring once again at those plump, soft lips you’d just kissed.

Eren’s mind struggled to catch up with what just happened, his stare going back and forth between your cherry lips and pretty eyes. The fact that you initiated this kiss, your first kiss, meant that he wasn’t wrong, that there really was something more between you. It was a validation he had desperately hoped for but never expected to receive.

With great effort, he steadied his breathing and met your gaze, bringing his hand to gently cup your cheek. His touch was tender, timid, but filled with warmth and affection.

"I... didn't expect that," Eren stammered, his voice soft and low. "But,” he gulped, eyes traveling down to your cupid’s bow, “I liked it. I really liked it."

Your cheeks flushed pink, a shy smile tugging at your lips. You turned to your side, facing him fully, and placing your own hand on top of his.

“I’m glad.” You whispered, “because… I’ve been falling for you too.”

You could almost feel the relief of his exhale, as if a heavy weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Then a gentle smile, the same one you’d been falling for for the past year, adorned his face. “You have?”

You nodded. “How could I not? Eren, I’ve never thought someone could be so amazing to me.” You leaned in even closer, “I was just scared to admit it because I didn’t want to ruin anything. I was scared there was a chance it was all in my head.”

“Oh, believe me,” Eren rested his forehead against yours, “it’s real. It’s been real for a while now.”

Your heart fluttered at his words, with tiny little butterflies flying around in your stomach and filling your chest with warmth. You couldn’t remember if you’d ever been this happy.

“It was the same with me.” He continued while gently stroking your cheek. “You’ve become such an important part of my life,” the most important, he thought, “that I was terrified I’d screw it all up if I confessed. But trust me, it was freaking torture wondering if you felt the same way. I couldn’t bare the thought of losing you if you didn’t.”

You shook your head, “You could never lose me, Eren. Even if that was the case, which obviously isn’t, I would’ve still been your friend. I’ll always be there for you.”

Eren’s eyes softened. You truly were amazing. “And I’ll always be there for you.”

You stayed like that for a few seconds, staring into each other’s eyes, losing yourselves in them. And then, Eren decided to spontaneously lay a quick kiss on your nose. A spark of joy ignited within you, with your laughter bubbling up, filling the air with its infectious sound.

Eren’s eyes twinkled with delight, “That’s my favourite sound.”

“You always know how to pull it out of me. Even when I don’t want to.”

The moment the sentence was over, Eren couldn’t wait any longer. His hands gently cradled your face, like he was holding the most precious thing in the world. Then he quickly caught your lips in a soft, but passionate kiss, one that was filled with longing, a testament of how long he’d waited to do this. It took every last breath you had. When the kiss ended, you stayed close, your noses barely brushing against each other.

“I’ll make sure you always do.”

…..

Today

4:30. That was what the clock showed when he woke up with tears in his eyes.

He brought his hand to his cheek, feeling the dampness of his skin. Just when he thought he finally got used to it. The painful reminder that even when he was asleep, the ache of missing you still lingered, refusing to fade away.

The memories, so many of them turned dreams, ones that haunted him every night or so, were as real as he could remember. Your face was still as pretty, but your eyes were brighter then. In his dreams, he saw those eyes and the way they sparkled whenever he would gaze at them.

In those dreams, he could almost feel the warmth of your touch, the tenderness of your embrace. They were bittersweet, bringing temporary solace among the daily torment. A cruel reminder of what he had lost, yet they also offered a fleeting respite from the harsh reality of your absence.

But then he remembered. In a couple of hours, he would see you. His sleepy mind had forgotten to remind him of that, that it wasn’t all lost. That even though he wouldn’t get to hug or kiss you, at least he’d get to see you. Hear your voice. He wasn’t a 1000 kilometres away from you anymore, just a few streets.

He sat up in his bed, his dream still fresh in front of his eyes. He leaned against the cupboard and looked up at the ceiling. Did you, too, have dreams like this? He wondered if there were nights where you’d woken up with tears brimming eyes, searching for him while he was god knows where. It tugged at his heart, his fists clenching. He was sure nights like this were a regular occurrence for you after he left. And while you were pregnant..

He slammed his fist into the mattress and closed his eyes shut. He should’ve been there to wipe them, kiss them away, to help you, to love you. But he wasn’t.

“One step at a time, Eren.” His whisper echoed through the room. He had to talk himself out of the self-loathing, out of the guilt that was threatening to consume him if he took one wrong step. He had to believe things could get better.

He got up from his bed and walked to the window, pulling the curtains aside. The city was still asleep, the street lights casting a soft glow on the quiet roads. He took a deep breath, the cold air filling his lungs. He knew it was futile to try and fall asleep again, so instead, his mind began racing with all the possible outcomes of your impending conversation. His heart pounded in his chest as he thought about the words he would say, the apologies he would make. Would you accept them? Would you believe that he was sincere? Or would you turn him away, the pain of his absence still too fresh? He didn’t know any of these things except one that was for sure. He had a long day ahead of him.

…..

“Rise and shine, mama!” A certain cheerful voice rang in your ear. You opened your eyes to see your little girl jumping on your bed, her hair a mess, eyes wide and sparkling, like they always were. You smiled at her, pulling her instantly into a warm embrace.

“Good morning sweetheart,” you murmured, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Lily giggled, wrapping her small hands around your neck, “did you sleep okay?”

“Mhmm,” she nodded her head a couple of times, “I dreamt I was a princess and I had a whole castle allll for myself!”

Your laughter filled the air, “Well, that’s not far from the truth.” You scooped her up into your arms and got out of bed, making your way to her room.

“Tell you what, you make your bed and brush your teeth and I’ll make you some special princess pancakes, okay?”

When you let her down, she rose her tiny thumb up, her face determined, and you had to put your palm in front of your mouth to keep your chuckle in. She was just too cute.

“I want them pink!”

“You got it!”

You turned on your heel, trying to remember where you put the pink food coloring with strawberry flavor you bought for her. You prepared the batter, now being an expert at making quick breakfasts, all the while smiling at your daughter’s excitement. Life was just fuller with her in it.

Lily, having diligently made her bed and brushed her teeth, came running to your side, her eyes fixated on the bowl of pink batter. She bounced on her toes, "Mama, they're going to be the prettiest pancakes ever!"

“They just might.” You gave her a wink and a playful nudge, “But only if her majesty helped me mix the batter.”

Her face lit up at the prospect of helping you, and she eagerly grabbed the wooden spoon you offered her. You held the bowl steady as she stirred, her tongue poking out in concentration.

"Good job, your highness," you praised, ruffling her hair. "Now, let's get these pancakes cooking."

As the pancakes sizzled on the pan, filling the kitchen with a delicious aroma, you took a quick detour to the bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth. When you returned, your heart swelled at the sight before you. There was Lily, perched precariously on a kitchen chair, carefully flipping the pancakes with a look of intense concentration on her face.

You really are growing up so fast, you thought. It was a thought that filled you with a profound sense of awe and a hint of melancholy. Your little girl was blossoming before your eyes, and while it was a beautiful sight, it was also a poignant reminder of how fleeting these moments truly were.

As you sat at the table, your attention focused on Lily, her excitement about starting school next week bubbling over in a stream of endless chatter while she ate her pink pancakes, your eyes filled with nothing but love for her. Until you unconsciously glanced to your right, at the chair that remained perpetually empty, and it stirred a pang in your heart. It was a void that has existed ever since she came into your world.

Despite her cheerful demeanor, you knew she was aware that things weren't quite as they should be. You saw it in the wistful look that crossed her face when she saw a child perched high on their father's shoulders. It was there in the longing in her eyes when she watched movies featuring families gathered around the dinner table, laughing and sharing their day. And it was painfully evident in the park, when she'd watch a mother and father swinging their child between them, their laughter echoing in the air.

Yes, your daughter was a happy child, full of life and joy. But there was a part of her world that was incomplete, a piece of the puzzle missing.

What should I do?

It was a question nobody could give an answer to except you. Confusion settled inside your mind like a heavy fog, and you found yourself grappling with a myriad of emotions. But then again, Eren had that kind of effect.

Just talk to him, you repeated to yourself, the words becoming a mantra that guided your resolve. You knew deep down that having a conversation with him was necessary, for your daughter’s sake at least. After all, you had faced and overcome numerous challenges in your life, and this was just another hurdle to navigate. Facing it was the only way to move forward.

One step at a time.

…..

With his third cup of coffee for the day clutched tightly in his hand, Eren couldn't help but notice the slight tremor that had begun to take hold. Perhaps it was the caffeine, or maybe it was the fact that in half an hour, he’d be meeting you. He strolled past the town's library, one hand buried deep in his pocket, the other cradling the diminutive cup of warmth. He observed the streets with an almost alien curiosity, taking in the sights as if for the first time.

This was his first venture into town, a decision his mind tried to dissuade him from, haunted by the prospect of getting recognised and the inevitable gossip that would follow. But he yearned for a taste of normalcy, a fleeting moment of being just another face in the crowd, despite his life being anything but ordinary. So, he ditched his car, and sauntered along the familiar, yet strangely new streets.

Eren was riddled with nerves at the prospect of talking to you, yet when he allowed himself to truly contemplate it, he realized his anticipation outweighed his anxiety. This was it, the moment he’d been waiting for, finally taking place. There was no room for screw ups.

But then again, as much as he pondered on it, he wasn’t quite sure what kind of apology would soften the sternness in your eyes every time you looked at him. I’m sorry for leaving for 7 years and making you gather the pieces.. no, that wasn’t it. I’m the biggest scumbag on the face of the earth. That seemed more fitting.

His thoughts then wandered to Lily. What was she doing at this moment? Did she enjoy drawing? Had she mastered riding a bike? Did she have a favourite sport? A favourite toy? Food? Movie?

He desperately wanted to know the answers to those questions, but he also feared the disappointment that might come with them. He had missed out on so much of her life, and he knew he could never make up for lost time. She looked like such a joyful kid, too.. The last thing he wanted was to screw that up.

The weight of his thoughts and the ticking clock in his mind seemed to drag his steps, making the short distance to your meeting place feel like a marathon. He was seconds from facing the music, facing you, facing the last 7 years.

The bell above the cafe door jingled as he pushed the open, the familiar sound sending a rush of nostalgia through him. This was a place you used to come after school along with your friends, a sanctuary for playing cards, laughing, making plans, escaping the world. Now, it sort of felt like a battleground, the setting for a confrontation that was years in the making.

He scanned the room, wondering if you’d showed up even though he was 20 minutes early, his heart pounding. Then one last glance at the far end table and there you were, sitting in a corner, your hands wrapped around a cup of coffee. When your eyes met his, he could see the wariness in them, the hardened resolve. You looked like you were prepared for this, for whatever he had to say.

He walked over to your table, his steps slow and measured. People were talking around him but it was like he couldn’t hear anything, like everything was silent. The only thing he actually could hear was the rapid beating of his heart as he reached the table and took the seat across from you. His hands trembled slightly as he placed them on the table.

“I thought I was going to be early.” He said, an anxious smile crossing his lips.

“I wanted to get it over with.” The truth was, you didn’t mean to sound so rude. Maybe it was the nerves, but you didn’t intend for your words to be laced with so much iciness. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“No, I get it.” He interjected, trying to sound unaffected, even though your words were like needles to his heart. “Thank you again. For meeting me.”

You nodded once, realizing how hard it was going to be to look him in the eyes. Breathe, your mind repeated. Just breathe. “I meant to ask yesterday. What’s wrong with your eye?”

Shit, he thought. He’d bought concealer yesterday to cover it, but your question meant he didn’t do a good job. No point in lying. “Met Jean the other day. I guess he didn’t miss me much.”

You looked down at your coffee mug, shaking your head. This was just too typical of them. “So.. what did you want to talk about?”

That I miss you so fucking much.

But he couldn’t say that. So, the next most important thing was, “I’m sorry.” He looked you straight in the eyes. “I’m deeply sorry for everything I’ve done to you-“

“I don’t need your apologies, Eren.” You stopped him in his tracks, causing his eyes to widen, “Really, just- don’t.” Your tone suggested no further arguing about it. Eren couldn’t decide which hurt more - the numbness in your voice or the disappointment in your eyes.

“Just tell me what you want.”

As much as it pained him, Eren knew this would most probably be the outcome. He expected his apologies to fall on deaf ears, even though he so desperately wanted, needed, to convince you how sorry he was. But he also needed to thread carefully.

“I.. know this is going to be too sudden for you,” he began, his eyes settled on a tiny drop of coffee on the wooden table, too overwhelmed to look at your face, “but the reason I wanted to talk is because,” spit it out, Eren, “I want to be a part of Lily’s life.”

Silence. Not a word, not a breath. Nothing.

When Eren looked up to catch your expression, he saw a medley of emotions on your face. Surprise, confusion.. maybe even a hint of anger. You took a moment to process his words, that felt like forever to the man sitting in front of you.

“I’m- I’m going to live here from now on, and I want to help you with whatever I can.” He added, trying to convey his sincerity.

You continued to stare at him, your features becoming unreadable. A deep sigh escaped your lips, and you craned your neck to look up at the ceiling. Then you moved your eyes towards him, gripping your cup tightly, “Eren.. Lily has a stable life. I can’t risk you ruining that. I’m sorry.”

The finality of your words made Eren’s heart sink to his stomach. But one thing about him was, he wasn’t giving up without a fight. “Okay, I deserve that. But.. are we just going to pretend like we don’t know each other? Are we going to just pass each other by?”

He struck a nerve.

“You pretended like I never existed and left. So, you tell me.”

Your words hit him like a punch in the gut. One that was long overdue.

“Y/n.. I can’t express to you how much I regret everything that happened back then. And even though you probably won’t believe it, if I had known about Lily, I-“

“So you needed to know about her so you could acknowledge me? Is that it?”

You had a counter for everything he said, and his words only further fuelled the slowly-bubbling anger within you. All the hurt, the betrayal, everything you had felt for so long was resurfacing, even though internally you were fighting to stop it. With much effort, you decided to try and collect yourself. You weren’t going to let him see you lash out.

“Eren, look.. I can’t let her be near a person who can walk away from his responsibilities with the snap of his fingers. This is my daughter and I don’t want her to get hurt.”

“She’s my daughter, too.” The words left a burning feeling in his throat, because he knew he shouldn’t have said that.

“I’m sorry?” The disbelief in your voice was palpable. His daughter? He wanted to be responsible all of a sudden?

“Look, if- if you don’t want me to spend time with her, I won’t put pressure on it. Just let me help with things. I can give you money, I can support you-“

“Money? You think we need your money?” You let out a disbelieving laugh, then quickly gathered your jacket, getting ready to leave. “This is ridiculous.”

“No, wait, please.” Eren reached out, grabbing you by the hand. The contact made you jolt, freezing in place. When you looked up, you were met by his desperate eyes. You stared at them, at the two green orbs he shared with you daughter, and you hated how for the slightest moment, you actually felt bad for him.

“I didn’t meant to sound so forward, I just.. I don’t know how to approach this.”

After a long silence, you pulled your hand away, not harshly, but firmly, and sat back into your seat. “Well, let me help you then. Just don’t approach it at all. Leave it be. It’s been years, and maybe things should be left alone as they are.”

Eren’s face fell. He should’ve expected that, but it still hurt more than he anticipated.

“Y/n, you can’t ask that of me.”

Your hands were shaking. You thought you were ready for this, but now that it was actually happening, you weren’t so sure anymore.

“Okay. What do I tell her? Hm? Hey, baby. I know you’ve always wondered who your dad is, and I know you haven’t ever met him, but the other day we bumped into him at the store, and now he wants us to be one big, happy family. Does that sound good?”

Eren winced at your words, the harsh reality of the situation hitting him like a truck. It was like he was in a maze that he was desperately trying to find the right path to, but that always ended in failure.

“You don’t get it, do you? You’re going to stir up her life. I can’t let you do that.”

“I know it’ll be hard.” He began quietly, “I also know it’s not fair to put all that pressure on you. The last thing I want is to make your lives harder. I want the opposite.”

“Good. Then it’s better if you stay away.” You were talking to hurt him now, and you knew it. “Anyway, you say you’re going to live here from now on. Why? How is your celebrity life going to fit in a small place like this?”

His answer was instantaneous, “I’m done with all that.”

A few moments were needed for you to process his words. “Oh. Oh, okay. You’re done with it. And now you think you can just causally stroll back in here like the last years didn’t happen?”

“No, I- listen, it’s not like that-“

“Then how is it, Eren?“

You noticed a few heads turning towards your table, realizing you’d been raising your voice. It was clear that emotions were running high for both of you, and you were aware that wouldn’t amount to anything good. Eren was hunched forward on the table, almost like a little kid seeking some kind of comfort.

“I couldn’t live like that anymore. I needed to come home.” His voice was so low, you barely heard it. Then he rose his head up, his eyes pleading, begging for you to believe him, “I swear, it’s been like that for a while. It’s just- it’s not that easy to get away from it. I did, though. It’s over.”

You leaned your head on your hands, and closed your eyes shut. Thousands of emotions threatened to swallow you whole. You took in everything he said and tried to make sense of it. But how do you trust someone who left you like you meant nothing and never looked back? You couldn’t let that happen to Lily. You’d rather anything else than letting someone hurt her that way.

“How do I know that you won’t go on tour and not come back for the next 7 years?”

“If I do that, you can always send Jean or my dad my way. I bet they’ll be real happy to put an end to me.”

“You think this is funny?”

Eren shook his head. “I am done. I was miserable leading that life. It’s over, Y/n. Truly.”

Silence enveloped the space between you and Eren as he could see the confusion etched on your face. A fraction of him held onto the hope that there was the tiniest chance you were considering giving him a shot.

“I just want to get to know her. That’s all I want.” He added, searching for your eyes that were settled on your coffee cup. “It’ll all be on your terms. Whatever you say, that’s what’s going to happen.”

Still silent, you lifted your gaze to meet Eren’s eyes. Oh, how you wanted to believe him. How you wanted to be sure that this man in front of you was someone you could trust with the most precious thing in your life. How you wanted to see the change behind his desperate eyes.

“What do you think?” He probed, his heart on the verge of exploding.

“I don’t know.” Your voice wavered, “I don’t know if I can trust you.”

“Tell me what I need to do, and I’ll do it.”

Then, you saw it. It was like transporting back in time. A glimpse of the boy you fell in love with all those years ago, sitting in front of you, ready to do whatever it took to make it right. It was the look in his eyes, the determination, that almost caught you off guard.

You swallowed thickly, it all becoming too much, “I have to get back to work.”

Quickly, you rose up from your seat, and began rummaging through your purse in search for your wallet.

“No, please, let me.” Eren stood up, reaching to stop you.

You avoided his touch like it would burn you. “I can take care of myself.” You threw some money on the table without counting, wanting to leave before the tears started spilling.

Eren watched helplessly, a storm inside him, one that couldn’t let him decide what to do. Trying to think under the pressure of you leaving, he reached out inside his pocket and gathered a small piece of paper.

“This is my new number.” He held it out to you. “Please, just promise me you’ll consider it.”

His hand hovered in the air between you as you hesitated. You were conflicted, but in the end, you decided to take it. Even if you didn’t call him, leaving him here completely hopeless wasn’t like you. At the end of the day, if it wasn’t for him, you wouldn’t have had Lily. Despite all the hurt and confusion that lingered between the two of you, you couldn't deny the impact he had on your life.

With a heavy sigh, you nodded at Eren, taking the tiny piece of paper in your hand.

Eren's eyes softened, a glimmer of hope shining through his inner storm. In a moments time you were out the door, leaving only the sound of the ringing bell behind you. He stared at your reflection through the window, every inch of his body wanting to chase after you, but his mind knew he shouldn’t. It was all in your hands now. Taking his number indicated a crack in the door, a silver of possibility, but he knew that the slightest pressure could slam the door shut again. So, he just stood still. Helplessness was his only companion for the moment.

…..

Summer, 10 years ago

You’d never actually gone to Eren’s house before. You’d only been to his backyard, having sneaked out one night and stargazed on the grass Mr. Jaeger had freshly moaned, where Eren intertwined your fingers for the first time. You’d spent an hour looking at the stars and thinking of goofy names for the constellations you could barely recognize, giggling every time one of you came up with something particularly silly. He then took you home on his bike, and helped you up the flower ladder that led to your room. If only you’d known how much he wanted to kiss you, even then.

What had changed between then and now was that he had confessed his love for you, which had given you the courage to do the same.

That day, he kissed you on your porch after taking you home like he usually did. It was a long, soft kiss, with his hands cradling your face, a kiss that made your knees wobble and your breath hitch in your throat. You fell asleep thinking about it, about all of it. There was this euphoria that wouldn’t let your smile fade, nor your mind rest. You woke up the next day to a text from him.

Eren💚

“Good morning, beautiful.”

You couldn’t stop your grin from spreading across your face. You pressed your phone against your chest, sighing with content. As you laid there, the morning light filtering through your curtains, you felt a warmth that wasn't just from the sun's rays. It was the warmth of him thinking about you at 8a.m. You typed a response, your fingers dancing across the screen with the same lightness that filled your heart.

“Good morning..❤️ did you sleep okay?”

You hit send, and almost immediately, the little dots that signaled Eren was typing appeared. The anticipation bubbled inside you, a pleasant fizz of excitement that made you sit up in bed, clutching the phone even tighter.

Eren💚

“Didn’t sleep much tbh. Couldn’t stop thinking about yesterday.”

You couldn't help but feel a flutter in your chest at his words. You wanted to say so much, to tell him that he had been in your dreams all night, that the thought of him made the morning seem brighter, but you settled for a response that conveyed your feelings without overwhelming him.

“Me too.. It was the best day I’ve had in a long time.”

You were restless to see his response, watching the screen in anticipation, the seconds of him typing passing like hours in your mind.

Eren💚

“It was the best day I’ve ever had.”

Your heart skipped a beat. Best day he’s ever had. You wanted to write that too but didn’t want to appear too forward. Turns out he was braver than you, which wasn’t a shocker at all.

Eren💚

“I really want to see you. Take you for breakfast?”

Was this how things were going to be from now on? Were you going to be so giddy and excited every time he messaged you? The thought made you smile even wider, and you couldn't type your response fast enough.

“I’d love that. What time should I be ready?”

Then, your phone rang. It was him. Your heart was beating faster than it ever had before. You had to repeat to yourself that this was still your best friend, the boy you’d shared your deepest thoughts and dreams with. But now.. he was something more, and that change seemed to turn you into a person you’d never thought you’d become. That made you nervous but also.. so, so happy.

You quickly picked up, voice timid but filled with warmth, “Hey.”

“Hello, pretty girl.” He was going to be the end of you with those nicknames. “Could you look outside your window for me?”

You blinked a few times, taking you a second to comprehend what he was saying before you jumped out of your bed and ran to your window. There, on the street below, was Eren. He was leaning against his bicycle, phone to his ear, and looking up at your window with that familiar, heart-melting grin.

You couldn't help but laugh, surprise and delight bubbling up inside you. "Eren! What are you doing here so early?" you asked, still holding the phone to your ear, though you were now speaking to him both through the window and the call.

"I wanted to surprise you," he said, his voice coming through the phone and faintly from the street below. "How about we start with that breakfast I mentioned? I couldn't wait until lunch."

Your heart did a somersault. "Give me five minutes!" you exclaimed, already thinking about what you could throw on quickly. You didn't want to keep him waiting.

"Take your time. I'll be right here," he replied, his tone patient and kind.

You ended the call, a smile plastered on your face as you hurried to get ready. You brushed your hair, found your favorite comfortable jeans and a t-shirt, and grabbed a light jacket. After a quick glance in the mirror, you dashed downstairs, your heart pounding with the anticipation of the day ahead. Your mother was in the kitchen, and you faintly heard her ask you where you were going so early.

“Eren and I are having breakfast!” You replied before you opened the front door. When he saw you, Eren pushed off from his bike and walked towards your front door. His eyes were bright, and the morning sun gave his hair a golden hue. "Good morning, for real this time," he said, his voice warm and inviting. He looked so.. ugh, he was the most beautiful boy you’d ever seen. He was wearing a pastel green shirt that made his eyes pop, and his smile was infectious as ever.

“Good morning..” you sounded shyer than you intended, but that seemed to steal another grin from Eren’s handsome face.

“You’re so cute.” He caught your face in his hands and planted a soft kiss on your lips. Your cheeks immediately flushed, and to your dismay, Eren noticed instantly, letting out a loud chuckle. “Are you blushing?”

You looked down at your feet, then hid your head in the crook of his neck. “Shut up..”

Eren laughed again, then brought you back to look him in the eyes, “Y/n, it’s still me, you know.”

“I know that!” You exclaimed, “it’s just.. I’m not used to this yet.”

Eren crooked an eyebrow, trying to hide his smile. “Mhm. You seemed to get used to it pretty quickly yesterday.”

“Oh, shush!” You wrapped your arms around him, and you felt his lips press against your hair.

“We should get going if we want to beat the breakfast rush.”

…..

Daisy’s cafe was as full as you’d expect for a Saturday morning. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee and the sound of light chatter filled the air, welcoming you into its embrace. You found a small table near the window, the perfect spot to enjoy the morning sun. Eren ordered your favorite chocolate chip pancakes without even asking you, the gesture making your heart full. When they came along with the other things you’d ordered, the green-eyed boy watched with an amused expression as you drizzled syrup over the stack, the rich, sweet aroma mingling with the coffee's robust scent.

And then, without any warning, “My mom wants to meet you.”

You almost choked on your first bite. This was unexpected to say the least. Not because of anything else, but because you’d never met his mom before, and you knew about her.. condition. Eren had confided in you about her declining health, but conversations about it were rare, his discomfort in discussing it understandable.

Eren's expression softened, and he reached across the table to take your hand. "Yeah, she's been asking about you," he said gently. "She wants to meet the girl who's captured her son's heart."

Your heart swelled, then you took his hand in yours as well. "Of course, I'd love to meet her," you replied, your voice steady despite the nerves that suddenly fluttered in your stomach. "Whenever you think it's the right time."

“I think it would mean a lot to her, and to me. My dad would be stoked to meet you, too."

You nodded, smiling. The thought of meeting his parents, his mom, especially given her health, felt like a big step.

“We could go today, actually. After breakfast, if that’s okay with you.”

The invitation caught you off guard, but you saw the earnestness in Eren's eyes. This was important to him, and therefore, it was important to you as well.

"Today?" you echoed, giving his hand a gentle squeeze back. The suddenness of the plan made you nervous, but the idea of putting it off didn't feel right either. "Yes, of course. I want to meet them too."

Eren's face lit up with relief. "Great!", he said, his voice filled with excitement that made you happy. "I was talking about you all night yesterday. They’re already in love with you.”

He’d been talking about you. You wanted to jump into his arms right this second. “I hope I live up to their expectations.”

He laughed softly, the sound easing the tension that had built up at the thought of the meeting. "You will. They're going to see what I see in you."

You finished your breakfast, chatting about little things to ease the nerves. Eren told you a bit more about his parents, his childhood memories, and what you might expect. It was comforting to hear him talk so fondly of his family, and it made you even more eager to meet them.

“But Eren, I need to change! I want to look more presentable-“

He reached across the table to put his finger in front of your mouth.

“You’re perfect, okay?”

It was just like him to reassure you in such a direct and heartfelt way. You smiled against his finger, and he reciprocated it.

“Okay, I trust you.”

After breakfast, you hopped on his bicycle, your arms circling his stomach, that was as hard as a rock, and he took off down the street. The ride was relaxing, your head resting against his back, eyes closed, letting yourself feel the summer breeze. As you held onto him, you could feel the muscles in his abdomen flex with each pedal stroke. The air was fresh and crisp, and the gentle rush of the wind against your face was invigorating.

The streets were familiar, yet they seemed different from this perspective, the perspective of your newfound relationship. Everything was more alive and vibrant. You watched as the neighborhood passed by, children playing on the sidewalks, dogs barking in the yards, and the everyday life of the community unfolding around you.

Then, you remembered. The flower farm you worked at was just a few blocks away from Eren’s house, and an idea formed in your mind.

“Hey, stop there.”

Eren glanced over his shoulder, following your gaze to the flower farm. He slowed down and pulled over to the side of the road, coming to a stop. "Here?"

You nodded, dismounting from the bicycle. "Yes, I just thought... maybe I could bring a bouquet for your mom. It's the least I can do, considering she's inviting me into her home."

"That's a really sweet idea," Eren said, his eyes softening. It was moments like this that cemented in his mind why he’d fallen so hard for you. You were just so kind, so thoughtful.. beautiful inside and out. “I’ll wait for you here.”

You quickly made your way into the flower farm, greeted by the familiar scents and colors that always brought you comfort. You selected a few of your favorite blooms, arranging them into a bouquet with care and attention. The colors were vibrant, and you hoped they would bring a smile to Eren's mother's face.

Returning to where Eren waited, you showed him the bouquet. "What do you think?"

"It's beautiful," he said, genuinely impressed. "She's going to love it."

As you approached his parents' house, your heart began to beat a little faster, but you tried to remain calm. When you came to a stop, Eren helped you off the bicycle, his hands steady and warm. You took a moment to compose yourself, smoothing out your clothes and running your fingers through your hair to tame it from the ride.

"Ready?" Eren asked, searching your face for any sign of hesitation.

You nodded, feeling a surge of courage. "Ready.”

Eren led you up the path to the front door, and before he could ring the bell, he looked at you one last time. "Hey," he said, his eyes searching yours. "No matter what, I'm here, okay? And they're going to love you. I know it."

You nodded, squeezing his arm. He rang the bell, and within moments, the door swung open to reveal his mom. Carla Jaeger. The resemblance between mother and son was striking; Eren had inherited her whole face, her eyes and the same kind expression that made you feel instantly at ease.

She gasped when she saw the two of you, and her eyes shone like two beautiful jewels.

“Oh wow. Eren, you didn’t tell me she was that pretty!”

The compliment sent a rush of color to your cheeks, and without thinking, you found yourself drawing closer to Eren, seeking a subtle comfort in his presence. His arm, strong and reassuring, seemed to naturally wrap around you, as if to silently say, 'I've got you.'

“Mom, this is Y/n.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, mrs. Jaeger.” You extended your hand for a handshake, and she took it instantly, holding it with her two frail hands. Her eyes sparkled with delight as she stepped aside to let you both in. "Please, call me Carla," she insisted warmly. "Mrs. Jaeger makes me sound far too formal. You of all people should be able to call me by my first name."

"Thank you, Carla," you replied, appreciating the gesture of intimacy. It was a small thing, but it spoke volumes about her character and how she viewed your relationship with her son. “Eren told me that you loved flowers.”

You extended the bouquet towards her, and her eyes immediately lit up with appreciation. "They’re beautiful, thank you so much," she inspected them thoroughly. "You have a wonderful eye for arrangements. I'll put these in water," Carla said, already moving towards the kitchen. "Please, make yourself at home."

The house was filled with the pleasant hum of a home well-lived in. The walls were adorned with family photos, and the shelves held an array of knick-knacks and books that gave the space a personal touch. It was a home that was clearly cherished, a place where memories were made and treasured.

As Carla led you through the house, Eren stayed close, his hand occasionally brushing against yours in a silent show of support. You could feel his gaze on you from time to time, checking to make sure you were comfortable. She led you to the kitchen, where the aroma of blueberry muffins filled the air. You couldn’t not notice the beautiful vase filled with white lilies, a throwback to your first conversation with Eren.

“Sit yourselves down, I’ll make some coffee. Actually, Y/n, do you drink coffee or tea?”

“Tea would be great, thank you.”

Carla nodded and smiled, moving gracefully around the kitchen to prepare the beverages. "Tea it is," she said. "We have a few different kinds. Any preference?"

As she busied herself with the kettle and the tea selection, Eren pulled out a chair for you at the kitchen table. The domestic scene was heartwarming, and you felt a sense of inclusion. Eren took the seat next to you as Carla placed a steaming mug of tea on the table, along with a small plate of muffins. "Help yourself to the muffins," she encouraged. "I baked them this morning. They're Eren's favorite."

You thanked her and took a muffin, noticing the way Eren's eyes lit up with childlike excitement at the prospect of his mother's homemade treats.

“Well, look who it is.” A male voice filled the room, and you turned to the door to see Mr. Jaeger put his keys on the kitchen counter, his smile on display. “You must be Y/n.”

“It’s nice to meet you, sir.” You stood up to shake his hand, and he gave you a friendly shake.

“There are no “sirs” around here. You can call me Grisha.” He tapped his son on the shoulder, “Eren’s been telling us so much about you.”

“Only good things, I hope.” You gave a nervous laugh.

“The best.” He winked down at his son and Eren shook his head, smiling.

Grisha's easygoing demeanor and the playful interaction between him and Eren helped to further ease any lingering nerves you might have had. The atmosphere in the Jaeger household was one of warmth and joviality, and it was clear that humor and affection were the foundations of their family life.

As Grisha joined the table, Carla brought over another mug for him, and the family settled into a comfortable routine, as if you had always been a part of it.

“Now, do tell us, how did our boy succeed in stealing your heart?”

“Dad!” Eren's protest was half-hearted, his cheeks tinged with a hint of red as his father posed the question that hung in the air, a mix of curiosity and gentle teasing. Grisha's eyes twinkled with mirth, and it was clear that he was enjoying the moment, eager to hear the story from your perspective.

You glanced at Eren, who gave you a small nod, his embarrassment giving way to a look of affection. It was your cue to share the tale, and you took a deep breath, ready to recount the story that had become a cherished memory for both of you.

"Well," you began, a smile spreading across your face as you recalled the details, "it all started in detention, actually."

“Oh, that’s gotta be interesting!”

Grisha's interest was piqued, and Carla leaned in with a look of amused anticipation. Even Eren seemed to settle in, ready to hear your version of the story, despite knowing it all too well.

"Yes, detention," you continued, the smile never leaving your face. "We were both there for completely different reasons. I had accidentally fallen asleep during class, and Eren..."

You looked at him, unsure if you should say the reason for him being there. He looked at his parents, only saying, “Jean."

They both nodded, with Carla rolling her eyes, which led you to believe they were familiar with their antics.

You continued, “Well, I was reading my book when he came up to me, and we started talking. He was interested in it and wanted me to tell him about the story.”

“Can I confess something?” Eren chimed in, “I was more interested in you.”

You playfully nudged him with your shoulder, “You don’t say. Anyway, it was just the two of us, so we came up with a plan and decided to..” you stopped again, biting your lip, realising where the story was going, and the consequences that followed right after.

“Wait, is this about the time Eren locked that grumpy teacher inside his classroom?”

You froze in place, thinking maybe this wasn’t the best story to tell his parents the first time you meet them. Given the fact you were both suspended for an entire week after that, it was probably not the best idea.

“Ugh, I can’t stand that little man!” Carla exclaimed, her previous amusement giving way to a hint of exasperation and a rebellious twinkle in her eye. "Always so sour. I'm not saying I condone what you two did, but I can't say I'm entirely surprised."

You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding, relieved by Carla's reaction. Eren gave you a reassuring look, squeezing your hand gently under the table as if to say, "See, it's okay."

“He’d tried to embarrass Y/n earlier that day. Couldn’t let that one slide.” Eren intercepted, and Grisha let out a laugh.

“Sounds like our boy, alright. Looks like you’ve got quite the knight in shining armour, Y/n.”

You couldn't help but blush at Grisha's comment. Eren's protective nature was one of the things that had drawn you to him in the first place, and it was clear his parents recognized this trait in him too.

"I guess I do," you replied with a smile, looking over at Eren, who was trying to hide his own reddening cheeks.

Eren, recovering from his moment of shyness, added with a playful grin, "Well, I can't have anyone messing with my partner in crime, can I?"

Carla shook her head with a smile, clearly amused by the banter. "Just make sure you two don't end up in actual armor, okay? I don't think I could handle bailing you out of the school dungeon."

The table erupted into laughter, the atmosphere light and full of familial warmth. Then, mrs. Jaeger started coughing, and not the kind of cough a flu could bring. It was long, and the laughter around the table faltered as her coughing grew more severe, her hand coming up to her chest as she tried to catch her breath. The jovial mood quickly shifted to one of concern. Grisha was by her side in an instant, his hand on her back, his expression a mix of worry and calm as he tried to help her through it.

"Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay." Grisha said, his voice steady but tinged with urgency.

Eren was on his feet now, his earlier embarrassment forgotten as he focused on his mother. "Mom, should I get your inhaler?" he asked, ready to spring into action.

Carla managed to nod between coughs, and Eren didn't hesitate. He dashed off into the house as you stood up as well, feeling a bit helpless but wanting to offer support in any way you could.

"It's okay, dear," Carla said between coughs, trying to reassure you and Grisha, though her voice was strained. "This happens sometimes. Just need my inhaler."

Eren returned quickly, out of breath but with the inhaler in hand. He passed it to his mother, who took a deep puff, holding it in before exhaling slowly. After a few moments and a couple more puffs, her coughing began to subside, and her breathing evened out.

"I'm sorry for the scare," Carla said, her voice still a bit weak but steadier now. "I've been dealing with this for a while. Some days are better than others."

Grisha gave her a soft smile, his eyes full of love. "The important thing is that you're okay now," he said.

Eren sat back down, the worry slowly leaving his face as he saw his mother recovering. "Yeah, Mom, you've got to take it easy," he said, the protective nature you admired so much shining through once again.

She waved her son off, “I’m fine, I’m fine.” She then turned to give you a soft smile, “I’m really glad we finally got to meet you, Y/n. Eren’s been different ever since you came into his life. No more going to the principal’s every week or so. You seem to have a good impact on him.”

You exchanged a look with her, one that truly conveyed her gratitude.

Eren smiled, his eyes now on you, “She keeps me in line.”

“Well, he’s been there for me, too. In more ways than one.” Your hand lingered on top of his, and you felt the incredible need to kiss him, but you knew now was not the right time.

Grisha, ever the observer, raised his mug in a mock toast. "To keeping each other in line, then," he said with a chuckle. "Sounds like the secret to a good partnership."

“It does, doesn’t it?” Carla looked at her husband, her eyes shining with fondness and gentle ribbing. "You could let loose from time to time, you know. Life is not only about balance. Sometimes, a little mess is good."

Grisha's eyes met Carla's, and he gave a mock sigh of resignation. "I suppose you're right," he conceded with a playful roll of his eyes. "A little mess never hurt anyone. It's the spice of life, I guess."

Eren watched the exchange with a smile, clearly enjoying the banter between his parents. It was evident that their relationship was built on a strong foundation of love and mutual respect, peppered with the ability to laugh and tease one another.

You couldn't help but smile at the scene before you, feeling a sense of inclusion. The Jaegers were.. they were what truly family was all about. Their ability to embrace life's imperfections, to find humor in the chaos, and to support one another through it all was inspiring. It was a reminder that family wasn’t about being perfect; it was about being there for each other, through the mess and the triumphs alike.

“I think I’m going to start on lunch.” Carla said, but before she could start rummaging through the kitchen drawers, her husband stopped her in her tracks.

“I’m making lunch. You sit down and rest.” He gave her a quick peck on the forehead, then turned to Eren, “Come help me start the barbecue, son.”

Eren kissed your cheek, then got on his feet and followed his father to the backyard. They had a big yard, and it was a sunny day, a perfect time for a barbecue.

As you watched Eren and his dad prepare the grill, the way they moved with an easy familiarity, it was clear that this was a ritual they had shared many times before. The clinking of the tools and the crackling of the fire blended with the sounds of nature in the Jaegers' backyard, creating a symphony of domestic bliss.

Mrs. Jaeger watched as well, with a genuine smile on her face, and yet.. you could sense the sadness in her eyes, a mother's concern that never fully fades even in moments of joy. It was a look that spoke volumes about the love she had for her family and the silent strength she carried within her. She was a beautiful, but frail woman, her big sweater doing nothing to conceal the fragility that seemed to be a part of her very essence. The coughing fit had been a stark reminder of her vulnerability, and it was clear that her health was something that weighed on her mind, as well as on the minds of her family.

“I really meant what I said, Y/n.” The woman spoke, her eyes still glued on her family. “Thank you for being there for him. The last year and a half has been.. challenging. I was afraid he was going to keep spiraling, getting into trouble, but then you came along.”

She was now looking at you you, her gaze filled with gratitude and relief. It was clear that your presence in Eren's life had made a significant impact, not just on him, but on his entire family.

"You've grounded him," Carla continued, her voice soft but earnest. "Helped him not think about.. everything."

You felt a swell of emotion at her words. You knew he was different, you’d seen it, felt it yourself, but hearing it from his own mother meant the world to you.

"I care about him a lot," you replied, meeting her gaze. "And he’s been there for me just as much as I've been there for him. We support each other."

Carla reached out, placing a gentle hand over yours. "That's what it's all about, isn't it?" she said with a smile. "I can see how much you both mean to each other, and it gives me peace of mind to know he has someone like you in his corner."

You nodded your head, your gaze back on the boy who’d stolen your heart, “I want to thank you, too. You’ve done a wonderful job with him. He’s.. everything I could ever ask for.”

“Oh, sweetheart, stop it, you’ll make me emotional!” Carla exclaimed, and you both shared a laugh. Her laughter was a balm to your ears, and as you both settled into a comfortable silence, your thoughts drifted to your own mother. The change in her had been palpable ever since your father left. Where there was once warmth and open communication, there was now a cold distance that seemed to stretch further with each passing day.

Her lively spirit, which used to fill the house with joy and endless chatter, had become withdrawn, her smiles fewer and her conversations clipped. The light in her eyes had dimmed, replaced by a weariness that seemed to weigh down her every movement. She was there, but not in the way she used to be—her presence more like a ghost of the vibrant woman she once was.

You understood her pain, the sense of abandonment and betrayal that must have eaten away at her, but it pained you to see her so altered, so consumed by the shadows of what used to be. You longed for the days when your mother was your confidante and your pillar of strength, not this shell of her former self, moving through the days with a hollowed-out heart.

Sharing this moment with Carla, you were reminded of the stark contrast between the lively, loving atmosphere of the Jaegers and the quiet desolation that had settled over your own home. It made you appreciate the Jaegers' warmth even more and deepened your gratitude for the sense of family they extended to you—a gift that was all the more precious given the void that had formed in your own life.

"Life has a way of throwing us curveballs," The woman before you spoke, as if she could read your thoughts. "But it's how we catch them—or pick them up after they've hit the ground—that really counts."

You nodded, looking down at your tea. “I like how that sounds.” For a moment, you debated if you should confide in her, having met her only today. But there was something about this woman, about her demeanor and outlook on life, that made you feel safe. It was a feeling you hadn't realized you'd been missing until now.

You took a deep breath, feeling the words rise up from within. "My mom... she's been different ever since my dad left. It's like the life has been drained out of her, and I don't know how to bring her back. We were so close before.. I miss her—the way she used to be."

Carla's expression softened, her eyes reflecting a deep empathy. She looked at you like this wasn’t the first time she’d heard that story, probably because Eren had already mentioned it. Which, you were kind of thankful for. It meant he cared enough to seek support for you even when you weren't around, and that Carla was now a willing confidante, ready to offer comfort and advice.

"I’m very sorry to hear that, Y/n. It's never easy, seeing the ones we love change before our eyes," Carla said gently. "But remember, healing is a journey, not a destination. It takes time, patience, and a lot of love. Your mother may seem lost right now, but she's still in there, somewhere. And with you by her side, she has a beacon of hope to guide her back."

Her words were a comfort, and in that moment, you felt a connection with her, one that went beyond casualties. She was offering you a piece of wisdom that came from experience, from her own life's trials and tribulations.

"I truly hope so," you said, your voice thick with emotion. "I'll keep trying with her. Maybe one day, she'll be ready to start picking up those curveballs herself."

Carla reached to touch your cheek, her palm warm like her soul. "I’m sure she will, in her own time. And she's lucky to have you. Just like we're lucky to have you here with us."

“Thank you, Carla. This… it really means a lot to me.”

Carla's touch was reassuring, and her kind words wrapped around you like a comforting embrace. "You're welcome, dear," she replied with a gentle smile. "We all need a little support sometimes. Don't hesitate to reach out, whether it's to talk about your mom or anything else. We're family now."

You nodded, feeling a sense of belonging that was both new and deeply cherished. The kindness and openness this woman shared with you was like a soothing balm to the ache you'd been carrying around. It was a stark reminder that, while you couldn't control everything that happened in life, you could choose the people you surrounded yourself with—people who could make the burdens feel a little lighter.

“Now, do you think you could help me set the table? I could even show you my special lemonade recipe.” She sent a playful wink your way.

"I'd love to," you responded, the corners of your mouth lifting into a genuine smile.

Carla stood up to show you around the kitchen, and together you began to gather the plates, utensils, and glasses needed for the meal. The clink of cutlery and the clatter of dishes became the backdrop to a new kind of intimacy, one that was formed through shared tasks and quiet conversation.

As you worked, Carla shared her recipe, explaining each step with the care of someone passing down a treasured secret. You listened intently, taking note of the way she squeezed the lemons just so, the exact amount of sugar she added, and the sprigs of mint she used for garnish. The simplicity of the task, paired with the significance of the moment, made you feel more at home than you had in a long time.

With the table set, the bouquet you gifted her centered right at the middle of it, and the lemonade prepared, you stepped back to admire your handiwork. The kitchen was now transformed into a cozy dining space.

"Looks perfect," Carla said, surveying the scene with a satisfied nod. "Thank you, Y/n. You're a natural at this."

Just then, Eren and his father appeared at the door, the scent of grilled food preceding them. "Wow, look at this!" Eren exclaimed, his eyes taking in the spread. "You two have been busy."

His father placed a hand on your shoulder, a silent gesture of thanks that spoke louder than words. "You're part of the team now," he said with a warm smile.

As everyone took their seats around the table, the afternoon sun casting a golden glow over the scene, you felt a profound sense of peace. Eren sat next to you, his hand never leaving your knee, and in that moment, you just knew.

This was exactly where you were supposed to be.

…..

It was a silent night. A night where the crickets could be heard, their sound still gracing your town’s fields and grass because of the warm weather. You were lying in your bed, staring up at the dark ceiling, unable to fall asleep no matter how much you tried. It’d been two days since your conversation with him. Two days of overworking yourself so you could not think about him. Two days of failing because of all the waking up in the middle of the night, your conversation still fresh in your mind.

Lily was fast asleep in her room, unaware of your inner turmoils. At least you hoped she was. The first day of school was just one day away, and she was beaming with excitement, talking about anything and everything she couldn’t wait to do now that she was a “big girl”. It was heartwarming to listen to her, and it gave you a reason to smile amidst the swirl of emotions you were caught in. Lily's happiness was infectious, and it reminded you why you pushed through the tough times. Her joy and innocence were like beacon in a storm, guiding you back to what truly mattered.

But now, in the quiet of the night, your thoughts drifted once again to Eren and the small piece of paper that now sat on your nightstand. The mere act of taking his number didn't bind you to anything, but it symbolized a bridge — a potential pathway back to someone who had once meant the world to you.

With each silent tick of the clock, your mind played through a thousand different scenarios. What could happen if you called? What would remain if you chose not to? But there was a more pressing question that you couldn’t escape: What did you want to happen?

You rolled over in bed, trying to find a comfortable position that might welcome sleep. Your life had done a whole 180 since he came back, and you were afraid of the same thing happening to your baby girl. How could you answer her questions without breaking her heart if you decided to tell her about him? Even if you came up with some dumb lie that could evidently cause more damage as she grew older, that would only put a bandage on the wound. It wouldn’t fix anything.

But what if Eren was telling the truth? What if he really wanted to be a dad to her? It would be like taking away her chance of having both parents present in her life. But what if.. what if he left again?

You took a deep sigh, palms pressed against your face. You looked at the clock. It was 11:45pm. Screw it.

You jumped off your bed to grab the little piece of paper and began dialing his number, thinking he probably wasn’t asleep. Even if he was, you didn’t care. You didn’t know if you would get that kind of courage again.

He answered after the second beep.

"Hello?" Eren's voice came through the line, alert enough to recognize the urgency of a late-night call.

"Hey, it's me," you said, your voice steadier than you felt. The crickets' chorus seemed to quiet as if the night itself was holding its breath, waiting for what would come next.

“I know.” I know your phone number by heart, he thought. “Is everything okay?”

You took a deep breath, closing your eyes as a means to collect your thoughts. You wanted to tell him that no, everything was not okay. That you’ve been thinking about your conversation, about everything, and that you couldn’t sleep a wink because of it. But instead, you decided to opt with something entirely different.

“The first day of school is in one day.”

Eren went silent. He knew, of course, but he couldn’t quite understand why you were mentioning it.

“Yeah, I know..” he replied, a note of confusion in his voice, “Is Lily okay? Are you?”

"She's more than okay. She's excited, can't stop talking about it," you said, a small smile forming as you thought of your daughter's enthusiasm.

“I’m glad.” You could almost hear the smile in his voice. “It’s her big day, after all.”

Then, you became quiet again. The silence stretched between you, filled with the weight of unspoken thoughts and lingering emotions. Eren seemed to sense your hesitation, your internal struggle with the complexities of the situation.

“Y/n.. is everything-“

“We’re having a gathering at home after the school ceremony. I want you to come.”

The words came out before you could second-guess yourself, a decision made in the quiet space between heartbeats.

“It’ll be only close friends and some neighbors. Your dad, too.” You decided to add.

Eren's response took a few seconds, but you couldn’t miss the excitement, surprise and gratitude mixed within his voice. "I... yes, yes, I'll be there. Just tell me the time."

You nodded, even though he couldn't see you. "It'll be in the afternoon, after the ceremony. I'll text you the details," you said, your voice steady despite the fluttering in your stomach.

"Okay, I'll wait for your message. And Y/n… I… ", Eren paused, as if choosing his words carefully, "Thank you. I really appreciate this.” He went quiet again before he spoke, “I'm going to make sure you don't regret it."

You let out a breath you didn't realize you'd been holding. "We'll see," you said, not ready to make any promises or set any expectations. "For now, let's just focus on making it a good day for her."

"Yeah, yeah, of course," Eren agreed. "She's going to have the best first day. I'm sure of it."

"Yeah, she will" you whispered, a small smile returning as you thought of your daughter's excitement. “And Eren.. I haven’t told her anything yet.”

“Yeah, I understand. I told you, whatever you say, that’s what happens.”

"Okay. Goodnight.”

"Goodnight, Y/n," Eren said softly, a note of warmth in his voice.

The room was quiet once more, the earlier tension replaced by a cautious hope. You were still unsure about the future, about how things would unfold, but you had taken a step. For now, that was enough.

As you lay back down, the crickets outside resumed their song, a familiar and comforting sound. You closed your eyes, allowing yourself to imagine the gathering, the school ceremony, and the look of joy on Lily's face. With those thoughts filling your mind, you finally felt sleep begin to take hold, offering you a respite from the whirlwind of emotions and a chance to finally rest.

…..

Tag list: @vlsquuu @love-is-sick @shima707 @6sakusa @p4lli @intimacywithcelestine @docufanfic @jaegersdiary @xcelestina @fvckingeetar @theforest @roronoazorosbxtchh @hannaburnout @camilo-uwu @ec3lipsy @littlemochi @erensonly @f4irycafe @idktbhloley @fairyvibez @desthevirgo @ange11core

#eren jaeger #eren jaeger x reader #eren smut #eren jaeger smut #eren fluff #eren jaeger fluff #eren jaeger angst #eren angst #eren x reader

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ghoularaki · 2 years ago

Note

Pls make a baji smut, he meets y/n tru mikey and he falling inlove with her and wanting to pursue, claim \mark her😏 we need a whole ass chase sis, hydrate our thirsty asses💦💦💦

bare your teeth for me

I GOTCHU, i do love me some primal play

tw yandere baji, aged up baji (27), dubcon/noncon, primal play, marking, forced submission, dacryphilia, size kink (6 foot baji ehehe), public sex, unprotected sex, creampie, hinted kidnapping

requests are OPEN

Childhood friends rarely last; this is what you learned as you grew older. Growing up in the same neighborhood as Mikey led to you two becoming close; not close enough to learn of his gang activity until misfortune fell upon you. Later learning that what once was simple delinquency morphed into something darker.

Naively, you wanted to stick by Mikey as you knew he was troubled. This led to meeting his less than savory friends—at best they ignored you, but at most they leered at your form. Malice dripped from their forked tongues, tempting as the snake to Eve. A nod and a simper was all you offered. You knew how men like them operated. Lacking in lascivious knowledge didn’t make you any less aware that the opposite sex came with fine print etched into the bottom of a contact.

That’s where you met Baji. A boisterous man with fanged teeth and a sharper smile. Sure—he was like those men with cruel intentions, seemingly born with bloodied knuckles, and yet he was gentle.

At least with you.

Baji knew how women like you functioned. Inquisitive at best and a smartass at worst. He was surprisingly shy around women, raised to treat them like royalty with his mother’s heavy hand. Never to fault the woman, he knew he was a lot and her scolding was out of love.

He never believed love at first sight until he saw your form attached to Mikey. Discomfort was apparent as you clung to him as an IV within a collapsing vein. This wasn’t the first time you have appeared at one of their meetings. For some reason, Mikey liked to show you off—a trophy or rather a matching accessory. One way or another, you two were connected simply from a strip of labeled concrete.

Mikey harbored no romantic feelings for you, this, Baji understood. Why else would Mikey never blink an eye to how he ate up your body? A hunger sat in his stomach. Worming around in his small intestine, begging to be devoured and digested. The lovely skin of your neck calling for his canines to sink into and never let go.

He practiced his patience well, but with you in his sights, all those years of being beaten into a gentleman vanished.

Across the round table of estranged men, Baji eyed you next to Mikey as usual. At this point, he stopped paying attention. Swirling around in his mind were the different ways he could take you. When he sunk inside of you, would you whimper or moan? Cry or mewl? How about if he bent you over the table in front of everyone? He could almost taste your cunny clenching around him from the shame and arousal.

He licked his teeth- like a wolf about to eat the rabbit. Oh my, what a pretty bunny you would be for him.

“Meeting adjourned.” Mikey’s voice called, breaking Baji from his thoughts.

Your shoulders sagged, relief written on your visage to finally be away from these gangsters.

If only you knew what Baji had in mind for you.

You got up, stretching your arms above your head, calling attention to your breasts. You must be doing it on purpose, Baji thought.

“Go to the car, I’ll be there in a minute.” Mikey spoke to you.

Quirking up an eyebrow, you were visibly confused.

“Okay?”

Not wanting to upset him, you moved to the double doors, locking eyes with Baji’s molten hues. Nodding your head in acknowledgment, exchanging quick pleasantries with the feral, yet gentle man.

Once you were out of earshot, Mikey waltzed over to the taller man.

“Don’t break her too bad.” He left in the air before moving through another set of doors in the opposite direction.

A vicious grin cracked upwards as Baji processed the notion. With Mikey’s permission there was nothing holding him back.

You should have known something was off the second Mikey commanded for you to leave on your own. The parking garage was eerie without another person with you. Luckily the lights didn’t flicker or else you would truly be in some horror movie fuck fest.

Being on the top floor of the ten story cement building was always an inconvenience- even more so now. It boggled your mind why Mikey thought it was a good idea to have the car parked so high up. You shivered as a breeze made its way through the gaping walls.

Sighing as your heeled feet clacked against the floor just wanting to get home faster. Your footsteps echoed. Echoed in the barren parking lot, a pair of feet copied yours.

You stop.

The mimicking steps stopped. A second late.

Whipping around in fear, you were met with silent, parked cars greeting you. A hitch caught in your breath, you trusted your instincts. Quickening your pace, searching frantically for Mikey’s car. You rounded the corner, despising how this place was like a maze.

There was Mikey’s ebony Cadillac among the other less expensive cars. It stuck out like a sore thumb, thankfully. Though As you advanced towards the Cadillac, a figure came out from the back. A very familiar figure.

Standing in all his six foot glory was Baji. His inky hair matching the Cadillac— glossy and deep in hue. A smug look struck on his winsome face, as if he knew something you didn’t.

“Baji, what are you doing here?” Your question hung empty in the air.

Instead of answering, Baji took a hair tie from his wrist, elegantly tying his thick hair back with nimble fingers.

You faltered at the movement.

Grinning, he dropped his hands to stuff into his slacks.

“You have thirty seconds to run.”

“W-what?”

“One, two, three, four—”

Not wanting to tempt fate, as you were bartering on borrowed time, you pivoted your foot and started to race down the corridors.

You quickly turned to the right to make it to the elevator, relying on the head start you were given. Slamming into the metal, you frantically hit the button.

The neon numbers stay stuck on the third floor.

“Fuck,” You seethed. Of course it wasn’t going to be that easy. You had no clue what Baji wanted from you, but it couldn’t be anything good. He was typically so gentle, even reclused with you, and yet here he was— initiating an impromptu game of tag.

This time the consequences will be more than childish disappointment.

Forgoing your original plan, you make your way to the exit of lot ten. You refused to use the stairs as it was a sure fire way to doom yourself. For now, you must get as far away as possible before you could be stealthy.

As silent as you could with high heels, you hustled through the sloped exit. Half of you prayed for a car to come whipping towards you. Maybe whoever operated the vehicle would save you, but it wasn’t likely. Everyone here carried some sort of cross.

Night poured in from the gaping walls of the garage. The only lights to guide you were the blaring, fluorescent lamps.

No one was going to help you. Suspense built in your chest, tightening around your throat as you ran further down the levels.

The paths were long and confusing. Trying your best to follow the signs to lead to the next lot, you were quickly overwhelmed. By now, thirty seconds have long since passed and you were only about two levels down from before. You slowed your pace to a jog, clinging to the wall not to expose yourself too much.

A pattern of lazy footfalls was not too far behind. He was having fun with it, tormenting you.

Crouching behind the cars that lined lot eight, you used it as coverage. It wasn’t much, but it was something.

His husky humming soon filled the barren concrete.

“*Run, rabbit, run, rabbit, run, run, run*.”

Sweat collected at your hairline, dropping down the side of your face. Peering over the side of a navy blue car, you spied Baji strolling down the middle of the aisle, leisure in his stride. His confidence fueled your need to win whatever game he forced you into.

Doing away with your heels, you shift your weight, taking off one shoe— keeping your gaze on the hunter. Repeating the motion on your other foot.

Your nostrils flared as you let out a relieved sigh that no noise was made. Gone was the obstacle that would surely give away your position, the inevitable clicking surely would’ve been your demise. Eyes wondering to one heel, you formed a plan.

Baji was in the way. There was a door that led to the stairway, but you refused to go that way. You rather be exposed than confined. Shuffling to the other end of the car, you peer over the other end to see Baji's back. Taking one shoe you threw it over the pathway for the cars. A quick smile graces your lips at the good throw. With your minimal luck he will think you are at the other side of the lot. Instantly his head snapped towards the noise, a furrow in his thick brows. He soon followed.

His movement didn't lose any of its mellow stagger. Baji walked down two lanes of cars to spot the shoe you threw. By the time he made it to the heel, you crawled further down the line.

Throat bubbling, a guttural laugh bellowed among the concrete.

"Sneaky, sneaky girl." His tone mocked you as his head was leaned back with shut lids. He basked in how you were playing this game with him.

Ignoring how he was obviously getting aroused at this, you kept moving. Staying still certainly meant death. You had no clue his motive and you didn't want to find out.

Clutching the other shoe, you made a break for it. You couldn't wait in that port forever, it was still six stories up. There was no other way for you to escape and who knows how long it would take for him to move from the exit.

You bolted down the decline down to the next level. At this point you were descending down Dante's inferno rather than to your freedom. Every step was damning. Without the clicking heels, the sound was softened to just the padding of your feet. But every mouse-like noise echoed in this chamber.

Of course Baji heard and caught sight of your movement, giving chase. This was the most fun part, at least to him. His laugh continued as he darted to your form. Your heart stuttered in your chest at the sound of his heeled boots. Whipping around you spotted how he was mere feet away from you.

Your face contorted,

“Fuck."

Labored and aching inhales shattered your body. His hand grazed your back, almost catching your shirt. A scream peaked as you pumped your arms to go faster. You can only run in a straight line for so long before he eventually dug his claws in.

Swerving to the right, you kept the sloping exit in your line of sight. Baji had begged to differ. He jumped over the hood of a car to place himself in front of you. Eyes blown out in fear, you stumbled backwards. Pivoting to turn around, your legs carried you back into the lines of parked cars. It was near impossible to lose him now as he had his sights on you.

The further you ran, the more he led you away from your initial destination. The bastard was steering you to the stairwell. Swearing under your breath, there was no else for you to go. You slammed your body into the metal door. The blaring red of the exit sign mimicking the gates of hell.

Racing down the stairs, you were careful not to slip from your thin pantyhose. How inconvenient. The stairs were made from the same concrete but more polished. The ground was hard underneath your feet. At this point everything ached. Time slipped of how long you have been running but it felt like a millennia. Pain will always make seconds bleed into centuries.

A bang bellows within the thin corridor, glancing up you see Baji standing above you. He waved from the banister you were just at. You were at least three flights away from him. Flipping him off, you kept going.

He cackled at the gesture, your brattiness just made this all the more fun. Men like him never did like prey that rolled over on their back. It was all about the chase, the push and pull.

Even mice eventually bite back against the sly cat.

His fangs glisten against the flickering, fluorescent lights. The exit sign casted a rosy glow behind him. The devil was an angel.

Your feet and hands sweat in morbid apprehension. Licking the salt from the top of your lip, you chant in your head to not trip. As scary as the situation was, the embarrassment would trump it. At this point you couldn't be too far from the floor level. So lost in how your footsteps echo, you forgot how silent Baji was.

*Bam!*

Baji lands right in front of you. The crazy bastard jumped from at least six flights of stairs. You gasped and choked, flabbergasted at him.

"What the fuck!" you screeched. Your eyes bounced to where you could escape.

"Come on, rabbit, I think we have played long enough," despite his words, his dilated pupils say otherwise. He was enjoying this.

Turning around you got back up the stairs to get to the door labeled "2."

The gangster is quick to make haste to catch you. He gripped the back of your shirt again. The neckline cuts into your throat; an ugly gag forced from your throat. Pissed, you whipped around—heel still in hand—you smacked him square in the face with the toe end. Your aim was better than you predicted, hitting him square in the nose.

"Fuck!" he growled, letting you go.

Baji cradled his bleeding nose. Copper flowed into his mouth. The taste was foul and bitter, bitter as the fact you actually hit him. This game quickly stopped being fun and he was heated. The audacity. Who the fuck do you think you are?

While his eyes watered, you crawl up the stairs two at a time. The heel clutched in your hands, specks of blood dropped onto the concrete. The thirsty material drank all it could. The crevices now held pieces of the monster behind you.

You pulled the metal door open and kept your pace. Baji wouldn't be held down for long and you didn't want to find out how irate he was. Tears of confusion prickled your eyes. How much more wrong could this evening become?

By now, you would have been half way home, Mikey in the car with you. It would be silent and tense, but not awkward. As you two grew older, you accepted the fact Mikey hungered for darker things. You would never get your best friend back. This made apparent as he willingly served you to the beast hot on your tail. Pretty, silver platter and all.

All men are the same, you seethed

Metal hit concrete with a shattering boom. By now you were a floor away from the ground level. Gulping, you don't let the reverberating crack deter you. You knew you wouldn't hold him off for long. A naive part of you hoped when he realized you wouldn't go down without a fight, he would grow bored and leave you alone. Aforementioned, what an extremely naive thought.

Natural moonlight started to pour in from the entrance not too far from you. Likened to the gates of heaven, the soft light streamed into the dreary building. The change in lighting caused your eyes to squint. Almost laughing in repose, you spied a toll booth a few feet in front of you.

Wasting no time, you jogged over to the toll. Smiling, you opened your mouth to ask the security guard who was frequently here when you were present to call a car for you, only to see it was empty.

Dread washing over you, ice dropping heavy into your tummy. Racing into the booth, you notice the cameras left unattended. Hung on the display screen front and center was a daisy yellow sticky note.

"There's a ten second delay :)."

Moving your eyes from the note, there on the camera was the tail end of you coming inside said booth. Baji not too far behind.

By the time you register just what you saw, you were slammed into the window.

Attempting to twist your body to hit him again with the heel in your hand, only to be apprehended by his larger hand. clutching your puny wrist, he twists it behind your back. You yelped as you dropped your only weapon.

"Get the fuck off me!" you bit out.

In response he crowded you further against the window, his body warm against yours. as you squirm, he dug his crotch into your backside. You still at the feeling of his bulge. Of course the fucker was getting off at this.

Baji leaned down, his breath hot on your ear.

"Why don't you be a good bunny for me and keep still for me." His words brought a whimper from your chest. You squirmed in discomfort. this can't be happening.

Gently he used his free hand to pull the hair near your neck. Dragging his cold nose down the column, he laid a soft kiss on the supple skin.

"You don't understand how long I have waited for this.”

He nipped you in retaliation. you flinched at the sensation. completely ignoring your refusal, Baji kept mouthing at your neck. Sucking and tugging at the flesh that left it raw and bruised.

Pain shot up your spine as he dug his fangs in, breaking the layer until you bled. You amped up your wrestling to get away from him but he bit down harder likened to a wolf in heat.

Whining, you try to ignore how arousal seeped into your panties. Hating how weak he was making you, you lift your free elbow right into his ribs. He let out a grunt, loosening his grip on you.

You made it about three inches before he wrapped a hand around your hair and pulled you back towards him. You winced at the strain on the follicles. He surely ripped some hair out.

"Fucker!"

Using your hair as a leash, he steered you to the desk that faced the inside of the lot. The metal was ice against your thin dress shirt. his rough hand dragged up your spine to make sure you were stuck to the surface. He kicked your legs to spread them, your instinctively arched to accommodate the new position.

Sadly for you and fortunately for him, it left you more vulnerable. His hand in your hair drifted to the back of your neck, gripping it as one would to a misbehaving kitten.

"Will you knock it off? I'm getting real sick of your attitude."

"My attitude?" you twisted your head as best as you can to glare at him, "You were the one that chased me for who knows how long! For what, because you can't get anyone willingly?"

You seethed the remark hoping to get under his skin but he only grinned. Blood on his teeth.

"You aren't just anyone. I will take you, willingly or not. You're mine and have been since the day I saw you."

You huffed at his audacity. "I will fight you till you die."

"Then let’s hope I die a slow death then."

Done with the chit chat, his hand crept down to your pencil skirt. Fiddling with the hem by your thigh, the fabric had ridden up in your kerfuffle.

You clenched your eyes as the warmth of his palm seeped into your pantyhose. The ebony, stiff fabric followed—caught on his wrist. His thumb rubbed the line where your thigh and butt meet. You wiggled at the sweet spot being fondled.

He clicked his tongue to see both your pantyhose and pink panties in the way of what he desired most. A quaint eyebrow raised at the sigh of a dark spot forming.

He giggled,

"Wow you really are a slut. My slutty bunny."

"Shut the fuck up," you pouted, hating the humiliation.

He let the attitude slide- too excited to dig in. Using both hands, he gripped the pantyhole and pulled. Your panties quickly met the same fate. The ripping of fabric bellowed in the small compartment.

Cool air met your exposed pussy. You were completely vulnerable now and you despised it. How dare he do this to you. Despite the anger, you didn't have much fight left in you. What else could you do?

"There you go," Baji sighed out, coaxing to fall further into him.

Knowing you won't bite his head off, he dragged his fingers up the line of your pussy. He traced the circle of your asshole, laughing at how you flinched away.

"Please don't!" you don't think you could take it if he dared.

"I'm only teasing."

He continued his exploration, figuring out the innerworks of your pliant body. He dipped down to brush against your clit, barely giving any stimulation. Going back up to your hole, he barely breaches in before pulling out and repeating the same motion.

You know what he was doing and refused to beg. If he wanted you, he would have to take you with your lips clenched closed.

Getting sick of your silence, he popped two of fingers in without warning. You scream at the unexpected stretch. Your insides burned, it had been awhile since you had been fucked. Baji’s fingers were longer and thicker than yours by a long shot, hitting places you never could.

"Now the brat talks," he breathed into you.

He put his weight on your back, chest firm against the strained muscle.

He curled his fingers forward in a way that made your thighs shake. Baji was barely doing anything and you felt weak.

Not showing any mercy, he fucked his fingers into you. he wiggled the appendages around until he found the spot that gifted him a gentle, muffled moan.

Like a shark out for blood, he abused the spongy area. Not leaving you any room to process what was happening to your body, your mouth parted. Little moans polluted the booth.

The motion wasn't enough to make you cum but damn well near it. Fog started to cloud the glass from your moans. Reluctantly you were giving into the pleasure and all you wanted was your release. Damn it all if it was from the man above you forcing you to take what he gives, the end was approaching.

A meek, "please," broke the air.

Baji stopped his motions, not sure he heard you correctly.

"Want to repeat that for me, bunny?" his tone smug.

You attempt to turn away from his face that was crowding yours. He gripped your hair again, stopping you from moving.

Swallowing your pride, you speak a little louder. "Please."

"Done refusing me?"

whatever docility was in you was snuffed out. you scowled, "go die."

"Not before i fuck you," he laughed.

You sneered at the cheesy line, going back to trying to buck him off.

The playfulness left him. He could deal with a smart mouth but he hated how your tried your best to escape his embrace. He will make you love him one way or another.

Patience was a virtue after all, one baji knew well enough.

His cock was straining in his slacks. He was sure the tip was an angry red, begging to be deep within your walls. He shivered at the thought of breaching your cervix with the head.

Done fantasizing, he pulled his fingers from your hole. You whined at the sudden emptiness. He shushed you but not before plucking his fingers into his mouth. He groaned at the taste of you. The sound was lewd and more slick gushed out from you. He couldn't wait to taste from the source, but that was for another time.

He unzipped his pants and shimmied down the offending fabric along with his boxers.

His cock slapped against his stomach then to your bum. Precum smeared against your rolled up skirt. Wasting no time, he wrapped a hand around the base and guided the head to your cunny. Your hole still empty, winked at him, begging to be refilled.

Baji tapped said hole a few times before bullying his way in. His tip popped into your hole. You both moaned at how he filled you. Already lost in pleasure, baji drove his cock further into you. He stopped half way, pulling out and then slamming to the hilt.

You screamed for a second, scrambling to clutch onto something. Paper and utensils clattered onto the floor. Your hand tried to find purchase on the metal table.

Seeing your struggle, baji grabbed both your hands. He pinned you down, clutching onto your wrists. The body was swarming you. All you could breathe in was him. The weight of him crushed your lungs as his smell suffocated whatever amount of oxygen was left.

Your fists balled as he kept his pace. It was steady and hard. He wasn't jackhammering into you, but he sure was fucking you with purpose.

His cock was heavy within your walls, catching onto all the right places. Already denied an impending orgasm, your peak was creeping up faster than you would like. Of course he would be a good fuck.

"Hmm I knew you would feel like heaven." His voice was heavy and stuttered.

Leaning back down, he kissed the same place he bit. "All mine."

Lost in the rhythm of him positioning into you, you barely notice the sound of a car rolling its way down to the very open and public booth.

Reality crashed around you. You started to struggle again remembering where you were. Completely exposed to the public, you were scared of the repercussions of being caught.

Baji snickered as he saw you also hear the car approach. Even with you wriggling, you grew tighter at the fear.

"Poor bunny, you like being fucked for everyone to see?"

You rapidly shook your head no, "baji please let me go."

"Why would I do that when you are clenching down on me like you're scared I'm gonna leave."

"Keisuke please!" you cried out his first name. Hoping, praying the familiarity would bring him to his senses. It did not. The car had no intention of slowing down. You feared who would be inside. Weighing if it would be better or worse if it was a gang member.

The closer it gets the more you recognize Mikey's sleek Cadillac. Tears burst from your eyes knowing the compromising position he was going to see you in. Baji licked up the tears, growing harder at how pretty you look when you cry. It made your eyelashes darker and clump together in such a delicate way. He wanted to break you until all you had was him.

Baji stopped fucking into you, only grinding as Mikey rolled down his window.

The gang leader glanced down at your sniveling form. His face remained cement but his eyes swirled in cruel amusement.

"I thought I said don't break her."

"I barely call this broken," he emphasized his point with a sharp thrust. You gasped.

"Open the gate for me."

Baji leaned to the right to hit the button to open the gate to let him go home. Fuck him, you should be in car with him, not here. Anger seized you along with crushing betrayal. He did not care. You questioned if he ever did if he could sell you off so easily. You sunk at the broken promise that he wouldn't let anyone hurt you. Teen you never realized he was included in the matter.

Baji saluted him goodbye and Mikey rolled his window back up. You slumped against the desk, drained.

"Don't worry too much, bunny, I will take good care of you."

So tired from today, you stopped fighting as he started to get rougher with his thrusts. His climax was approaching and he wanted you to fall with him. Releasing one of your wrists, he reached around to your front to play with your neglected clit.

He found it with ease, your dazed brain thankful for it. You wanted—needed this to come to a close. He swirled the nub with firm softness, contrasting his frantic thrusts.

"Cum for me, y/n, be a good girl for me," his voice almost pitched at the borderline plea.

Broken down, he abused your g-spot a few more times before white took over your vision.

Gasping high pitched whimpers, your clenching walls triggered his climax as well. Thick and hot cum flooded your cunny. You whined at being filled to the brim. Baji shivered at how wet you were with his cum deep in your cunt. He almost got hard again at the thought of fucking you until you couldn't take anymore of his cum.

He pulled out and watched as the white load drooled out of your swollen cunny. He was attempted to fuck it back into you with his finger, but you had enough for tonight.

You tried to catch your breath at the intensity, coming down from the constant adrenaline rush. Baji pulled you up from where you were slumped against the desk. He wrapped an arm around your waist and threw you over his shoulder. At this point you had nothing left in you. He carried you to his car. Popping the trunk of his just as fancy car, he placed you in.

"Can't let anyone know I have you, bunny," Baji answered without you asking why. "Don't worry, nothing will hurt you now."

What bullshit.

#yandere baji #yandere baji x reader #baji x reader #yandere tokrev #yandere #yandere x reader #baji x you #tw yandere #yandere tokyo revengers

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ravenromanova · 1 year ago

Text

Is It Really You? Pt. 2

Pairings: Other universe Wanda x Female reader

Warnings? none

Summary: y/n goes to her house in the other universe only to be met with her wife and kids? how did this happen? is she dreaming?

part 1

your pov:

"(y/n)? is it really you?" Wanda says coming up to me and she puts her hand on my cheek and i take a step back

" Mom?" i turn and look at Billy and Tommy as their eyes fill with tears

" How are you here?" Wanda asks me confused and i give her the same look of confusion.

" What do you mean how am i here? how are you here? how did you get here? you were fighting strange when i got sucked into the blue light. ho-how are the boys here? where the hell are we Wanda?" I ask ask my heartbeat quickens and i can feel the start of a panic attack coming on. how are the boys here? This makes no sense.

" (y/n) come sit down please and i can try to explain as best as possible... i had a feeling this would happen." Wanda speaks softly as she grabs my hand and leads me over to the couch where the boys are sitting. When i sit down both the boys jump on top of me hugging me as tight as the possibly could.

" We never thought we would see you again mama. please don't leave us again. we missed you so much." Billy says taking my face into both of his small hands his eyes red from the tears running down his face.

"I-i wont leave you again baby i promise. but i don't even know where i am or how i got here. the last thing i remember was you coming in and trying to take the girl-" I slowly stopped my sentence when i saw the look in Wandas eyes... She looked almost ashamed at what i was saying.

" Let me try and explain what happened." She takes my hands in hers and looks in my eyes almost sorrowful but i can see a little glimmer of happiness in her eyes. She puts her hands on my temples and closes her eyes and suddenly i can see everything thats happened. My Wanda hurting countless amounts of people. She was causing absolute chaos. Then just when i think its over i see my Wanda come through a red portal as billy and tommy run away and hide from the woman that just burst into their home. Suddenly the other Wanda comes up to mine after being thrown around. My Wanda is on her knees crying when the other Wanda puts her hand on her cheek and says softly

" Know that they'll be loved." After she says that my Wanda disappears into thin air. And the other Wanda runs to the boys.

Wanda takes her hands off my temples and i stare at her in disbelief. I take a few moments before i finally find the words to say.

" So- so you aren't gonna hurt me?" I ask and my voice betrays me by cracking as i try and speak

" No darling i could never hurt you. i love you too much to ever put you in harms way." Wanda says softly and i look into her eyes to see if she's lying. I search and search into her eyes trying to really see if i can trust her. But as i'm looking into them i see the soul of the woman i fell in love with. I can see the softness in her eyes, its the way she looked at me on our wedding day. It's the look she had in her eyes the first time we said "i love you". I can see in her eyes she means me no harm. I think back to what they all said walked in. What did they mean when they said they never thought they'd see me again?

" When i walked in you all looked they you've seen a ghost and said you thought you'd never see me again.. what did you mean?" I asked extremely confused

" The (y/n) in this universe died.. 3 years ago in a bad car crash." Wanda say tearfully.

" You were in the icu for 2 months before the doctors finally said there wasn't any hope for recovery. you suffered a really bad brain injury that lead to extreme brain swelling that they couldn't get to go down at all, along with a broken spinal cord, 6 cracked ribs, and a broken arm and leg. i tried to keep you alive as long as possible but the doctors said i was just gonna end up doing you more harm then good because you had no quality of life left. it was the hardest thing iv'e ever had to do." She croaks out before she starts full on sobbing. I get off the couch and sit in front of her on my knees. I put my finger underneath her chin and have her eyes meet mine. I take a moment to take in all her beauty. I know i don't know this Wanda but i want to. Clearly she means no harm to anyone or else billy and tommy wouldn't be here.

" i'm here now my love. i know i'm a different (y/n) and i know its not the same but i'm here now and i promise i wont ever leave you or the boys again. it might just take me a little to adjust from everything thats happened with my universes Wanda. i know you mean no harm but after what just happened i just need a little time." I spoke truthfully. don't get me wrong i trust this Wanda for some reason but i need to make sure the Scarlett witch wont influence this Wanda like she did mine.

" (y/n) ill do anything on my power to show you how much i love you. but i understand where you are coming from. i understand seeing me like that wether it was this me or the other me you still saw the woman you love try and hurt you along with thousands of other people to get what she wants. no one should go through such a thing my darling (y/n)" Her sokovian accent came off really thick on the last sentence and i smile lightly at her words.

" I love you (y/n) no matter what universe you're from and i'll prove it to you til the end of time." She says kissing my forehead and i smile at her touch... gods i've missed this.

" Come on boys its bed time let's go get ready." She says after a few minutes go by and the boys give me a quick hug and kiss before heading upstairs.

" Goodnight mama" They say as they run to go get ready for bed

" Goodnight my loves. i'll see you in the morning i promise." I say blowing them both a kiss. Maybe i can get used to this universe. I have everything i've ever wanted within my reach. My wife and my children. What more can a girl ask for.

i do not give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on another site

series masterlist

masterlist

#wanda maximoff #wandanat x reader #wanda maximoff x female reader #wanda fluff #wanda maximofff fluff #wanda x female reader #scarlet witch #ravenromanova

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hyperfixatedoncrimminalminds · 1 year ago

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Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau X Teen victim reader

Request!

Summary: Y/N is kidnapped by an Unsub, but the BAU is right behind them.

Third person pov...

Sirens from numerous police cars chase a grey BMW through the streets of Toronto, At the wheel was Barry Seymour he had been convicted of kidnapping and murdering 6 young teens.

When the FBI figured out it was him he was already on the road with a new victim in the trunk of his car, the victim was Y/N L/N they are 14 years old and very scared.

Flash back to A Couple hours ago...

The 14 year old was walking home from the park after hanging out with friends, as they were walking Barry grabbed them and threw the teen into the back of his trunk.

The teens head hits the top of the trunk knocking them out for a couple of seconds, when they woke up they started panicking. "oh no oh no" they whisper trying not to hyperventilate instead the teen starts kicking at the trunk making noise.

"let me out arsehole!" yells the teen kicking at the trunk, Barry rolls his eyes and continues to drive he ends up turning the radio up to not hear the teen kicking the car. "stupid brat" he grumbles before pulling his hat further down his head.

Y/N sighs angerly before they stop kicking, then they reach for their pocket. "yes the arsehole forgot to check" they exclaim the teen still had their phone, then they see it only had 10% left "of course" sighs the teen.

The teen was suddenly grateful to their parents who made the teen memorise the number for the FBI hotline. Y/N quickly types it in and holds it up to their ear. "hello this is the FBI hotline" comes a female voice.

"oh thank god, please help me im Y/N L/N and ive been kidnapped by the Unsub im in the trunk please save me!" they exclaim before their phones battery runs out. The 14 year old cries and waits for help to come.

At the police station the BAU team have sent out an apb for Barry Seymours grey BMW. As JJ is walking she get stopped by an officer.

"Agent we got a call from someone claiming to be Kidnapped by the Unsub" she says JJ nods and heads to the room where the team is.

"Hey guys we've got a hit on the Hotline" she says making the team look up as she plays the recording of the call. They are socked to here a young scared voice answer.

The perosn seemed alot younger than the first victims. "hello this is the FBI hotline" comes a female voice then a young voice answes "oh thank god, please help me im Y/N L/N and ive been kidnapped by the Unsub im in the trunk please save me!" Then it goes silent.

JJ shuts it off a grim look on her face. Then Penelope calls. "Hey Penelope you have something?" Questions Reid

"Yes my loveliess i do, we jsut got a hit on the Unsubs car" says the tech analysis. "Thank you Garcia, JJ you come with us" say Hotch standing up he already know Penelope sent them the coordinates.

End of flashback...

Currently The Unsub has both the Police and FBI on his tail and he wasn't planning on stopping yet, he was currently on a motor way he was almost out of Toronto.

Back in the trunk Y/N was trying to kick their way out, their head felt all fuzzy, but they couldn't fall asleep they had to stay awake.

"Can't sleep, have to stay awake have to survive" they mutter suddenly they are sent flying forward and end up face painting against the roof of the trunk.

"He's stopped!" They mutter to scared to move, the teen tries hard to listen but can't hear anything. Then gunshots and sirens are heard.

Y/Ns to scared to move, seconds tick by before the trunk opens and a tourch is shone right at the teen.

Y/N sees the shadow of a man, thinking its the Unsub they back aways terrified, when he tries to move forward Y/N kicks out at him. "Stay away! Please leave me alone, no!" They scream and beg.

Hearing the teen screaming Hotch sends JJ over hopefully seeing a woman would help them. Y/N jsut about calmed down when the man left.

JJ gives a smile to Derek as he passes her, she wonders up to the trunk where the scared teen lays.

The bump of their head still making their brain foggy, once the torch wasn't shining in their eyes the teen relaxed.

As they sit up slowly in the trunk a woman appears she was blonde with blue eyes, JJ sees the teens eyes widened.

Before they can panic she holds out her badge. "Hey hey sweetie don't panic I'm FBI, I'm an agent I'm here to help you" she says gently.

Y/N freezes leg pulled in ready to kick put again, they look wearly up at the Agent and at her badge. She had a kind smile on her face.

Y/N looks at the badge and at the woman before finally collapsing in a fit of sobs. "I'm sorry I was scared, I th-thought he was coming to get me" cried the teen, JJs heart aches for the teen.

They didn't mean to kick out at first they were just a scares kid who was kidnapped but a dangerous killer. JJ reaches out to the child and they let her.

She then pulls them up and out of the trunk the child holds onto her tightly not letting go, Y/N jsut continues to cry until they are sat in am ambulance to be looked at.

Once they were checked over they still didn't let go off JJ, but she didn't mind she was glad they managed to save the teen from being killed.

The end!

Hope you liked this oneshot sorry for it not being long, also sorry for grammar and spelling mistakes.

Request are open!

Word count : 1030

#criminal minds #fanfic #behavioural analysis unit #x child reader #fluff and comfort #oneshot #light angst #x teen!reader #jennifer jareau x child reader #jennifer jareau #x victim child reader #child victims #Jennifer jareau x teen reader #kidnapping mention #unsub

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legodamianwayne · 1 year ago

Text

BATMAN AND ROBIN 2023 #1 (Take 6 (yes))

(im not writing this as i go since ive already read the issue before. ill also be mentioning gotham war since this takes place during it (just a warning for spoilers!))

i just noticed the bat and robin on the cover! so cute

OH........(just noticed this too) that doesn't look good

look at them goofing off n having fun

this is cute but the way bruce acts here and in gotham war is so jarring its kinda funny

bruce in batman #137: can't stand my fake ass family

bruce in b&r: me and my son damian 🤗

bruce is in his "local dilf in the area" era rn

damian having talia's mannerism that bruce noticed is so <3

and here its confirmed that this takes place during gotham war. not sure how to feel about that

STILL INSANE OVER THIS baby first self insert fanfic

damian went from drawing hyper realistic gore vent art to anime eyes in the corner

i think it'd be fun if we see damian write more as the story goes on. like him daydreaming n doodling in class

wonder if theres any meaning with damian putting talia as a hero n bruce as a criminal here...or maybe its just a "totally original character do not steal" thing

you dont say bruce 🙄

"the last few years"?? pretty sure the events shown there all happened not even in 2 years since damian turned 14 around the start of the lazarus tournament

also why are alfred n talia not shown there? alfred's death has huge impact on damian (he literally hallucinated him) n talia was there as much as ra's

i dont like how damian looks here but that white connor should be a crime

"thats enough emotions for tonight father" [slams door]

i wonder why damian is staying with bruce tho (outside of making this book exist) didn't bruce n talia had a custody battle moment™ n damian's like "nah i have my own life (is literally 14)"

HELL YEAH MY BOY CAN COOK

he's quoting alfred ohhh im gonna sob

this is kinda embarrassing for bruce...like ur son is finally living with you again n he's the one up early cooking?? sir u better step up

aw he's making tea the way alfred did

*squints* did bruce get his hand back? thats a pretty normal looking hand to me

did damian's comment on it in batman #137 made bruce think "shit i cant give damian any ideas of getting a robot hand" n he just. magically grow it back

[GLASS SHATTERING SOUND]

gotham...heights? n. not gotham academy? no maps? no damian joining her dnd team?? no detective club finally hanging out with damian??

ik damian got expelled from gotham academy BUT. WHY

okay? whats the point if he's not going to the same school that his friend went to?

interesting how damian fantasize for a normal life in robin 2021 (with him liking the mundanity of shoujo manga) n now that bruce is offering him that he's rejecting it (or maybe he just rly don't like school which is. fair enough)

wellll just cuz we're not getting maps n the detective club doesn't mean damian's other friends arent showing up right? RIGHT? (maya plz come home)

THE ROBIN MOBILEEE it looks so ridiculous i love it

HOLD ON. DOES THIS CAR HAVE NO SEAT BELTS?? BRUCE UR LETTING THIS SLIDE?

ik that thing is rly loud too damian waking up the whole neighborhood here

not rumors abt the batfam fighting getting spread around?? this is so embarrassing omg

am i the only one getting gotham academy flashbacks here? with killer croc n the trio with the fox shark n bird masks

they're very comfortable with calling eachother father n son while in suits huh. ig everyone in gotham knows that batman is a dilf (who's beefing with his adult children) now

not much to say abt the rest: bruce got shot with something n now bats are attacking him

end thoughts: i hope with all the focus on animals here means that we're getting damian's pets back soon n that gotham war wont affect this book much since i rly want to see damian interact with his siblings again. also is it just me or does the day scenes looks very bright? saturated? it kinda hurts for me to read idk. the night scenes r pretty tho

next issue is damian's first day on his new school that is not gotham academy but im still excited for it! (coping)

bonus bestie corner

#damian wayne #bruce wayne #batman and robin 2023 #FINALLY tumblr keeps posting it while im editing it but its done yippee #this is inspired by makeste bnh/a liveblogs! i remember how much fun it was reading them that i wanna try it with b&r #tho i dont think i could ever write as much for a single issue...#still figuring out how i want to do this

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brae-brae · 11 months ago

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I speak Italian Darling

This is part one of something I've been working on. this is my first post on here so please don't judge:))

Gia Iseppa De Luca. the only daughter of an immigrant mother and sister to 6 boys, one of which is in prison, which isn't exactly smooth sailing. Ive lived in the sunshine state most of my life. That is until the end of last school year. My parents had the bright idea, "Oh let's move from Florida to Massachusetts! WHO NEEDS SUMMER BREAK WHEN YOU CAN MOVE STATES AWAY! It's not like we could have just stayed there after we had our 4th kid and just bought a bigger house which we obviously could afford if we moved to FLORIDA! Oh how smart we are." Yea no. Not to mention just when I think I have this 16 year old girl shit down with making friends and fitting in, they throw 2 boys into my house for A WHOLE MONTH?! Whatever summer I have left, I better enjoy. I will be blaming my parents.

Sinceramente tuo, il pasticcio adolescenziale

P.S. I speak Italian Darling

As I got out of my shower I heard my mom welcoming some guests. “Hey, boys! Hey Susan and Frank, how have you been? David and I..” I walked into my room, cutting out their convo. I turned on Spotify on my TV, blasting The Great Escape by Boys Like Girls while I got ready to go to Kristi’s house. As I threw on my sweats and plain black bra, I heard my door open and my mom’s voice. “This is Gia’s room, the boys are at their clubs and whatnot right now. Oh, dear! I didn’t realize you were getting dressed!” My mom quickly shut the door. Before she closed it, I caught a glimpse of a black-haired boy with eyeliner, looking at his phone with headphones in. “Dio, mamma! Impara a bussare! Gesù!” I yelled through the door. I quickly put on a plain black shirt with the band name KORN, putting my unruly curly hair in a low-effort ponytail. I put on some mascara, eyeliner, and highlighter and grabbed my guitar bag, phone, vape, and AirPods. I walked out with my things in hand, jogging down the stairs. When I got to the door, I looked over at Mom catching her attention. “Hey, I’m heading to Kristi’s. I’ll be back later. Love you!” She made a huff before stopping me. “First I want you to meet the guests. These are the Heffley’s!”

I looked over at them. Normal, basic-looking people. Then I realized the older boy was staring at me. I thought I grew a 3rd eye or something. Honestly, it was getting a bit awkward. Before I could dwell on it anymore, the mom chimed in. “Hey Gia! Oh my goodness, I haven’t seen you since you were as big as Manny!” she said lifting the little boy in her arms. I straightened my lips into a line and looked out at my car in the driveway.

“Wish I could say I remember you..” I said looking at my feet. “Gia Iseppa De Luca-Void! That was rude!” I threw my hands up in the air, “Hey I! I wasn’t trying to be, I just don’t know who she is!” I told her. I looked at the dad and the boys, the older one not having moved an inch. “Oh well, the last time I saw you, you and Rodrick were only about 3.” my mom quickly gaped,” Oh Susan, do you remember when they would take cute little baths together? Oh, I miss those days..” my mom said holding where her heart should be.

“Ma! Really? What the hell?!” Her face hardened. “Iseppa! Watch the language! Ci sono piccole orecchie per sentire! Continua così e passerai il fine settimana qui. Capire?” I rolled my eyes. “Sì, capisco, mamma…” I mumbled, “Kristi is texting me, can I go now?” my mom rolled her eyes. “Introductions, then yes.” I put down my guitar and walked up to the family. “I’m Susan, as you might have guessed, this is Frank, Manny, and these are-” the smaller one walked up to me taking my hand. “bonjour beauté..” I looked at him questioningly. “I speak Italian. Not french,” I smiled. He blushed and dropped my hand. I turned to the other boy and looked up at him, his eyes following me.

3rd POV:

Earlier

As the Heffleys arrived at the house, Rodrick put his headphones in and texted Bill. They started planning when our next band practice could be. He wasnt paying attention as he made his way up the stairs, causing him to step on Greg’s shoes. “Hey! Watch it bigfoot!” Greg snapped back, which only made Rodrick do it purposefully. “Mom, why do we even have to be babysat? We learned not to throw parties! Promise!” Susan turned to them quickly. “No, you learned how to be sneaky, not responsibility. So you are staying here. There are other boys here, you'll be fine. Your father and I need this, so please. Behave.” Greg looked at his shoes and Rodrick, well, rolled his eyes, popping his earbuds back in. He didnt even notice the half naked girl that was just walked in on.

As they stood in the dining room, Rodrick felt a light poke on his side. He ignored it, only to be poked again. He looked at Greg who was pointing at something. Rodrick looked up and locked eyes on her. His breath stopped and his hands instantly got warm and sweaty. Even his loud music went silent. He saw her lips moving but he couldn't focus on what she was saying, only how her lips moved and how her pale green eyes popped against the dark colors around them. Small strands of hair escaped her ponytail that hung against her back, bouncing with every step she took closer. Wait, is she walking over here? Well no shit, we are the only ones over here she could be walking towards. Think Rodrick, fuck. His eyes never left her, especially when she inched closer and closer at him.

He didn’t even realize she had said something until she looked at him and stopped talking for a moment. “Huh?” was all he could muster. He internally punched himself at his stupidity. Now is not the time to be dumb, get it together! “I said, do you want some water? Your mouth seems a little… Dry..” she grinned and looked at his lips. He closed his mouth and shook his head, maybe a little more than he should have. She looked back at his eyes and spoke. “I’m going to assume you’re Rodrick. My bathing buddy?” my heart stopped. “W-What?” he asked rather fearfully. She tried to suppress her smile and looked at him, probably noticing how nervous he became at her words. “Mom was saying that we used to take baths together when we were babies.” The thought of them taking a bath together when they were babies made Rodrick cringe, but then another thought ran across his mind. A more present one, one that made him blush and wouldn't let him get words out. “Anyway, Ciao! A dopo, mamma, Papà!” with that she walked out, guitar in hand. Oh hell. This girl is gonna be the death of me.

“I'll show you boys to your rooms!” Julieta announced.

Well shit.

#rodrick heffley smut #grunge #rodrick heffley x oc

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iantimony · 2 years ago

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tuesday!

listening: like everyone and their mother i listened to the new hozier songs this week. they're fine! i dont have any particularly strong feelings about them either way yet, i think i need to relisten to them a few times for it to really get processed, but they were good enough that i'll certainly listen again. i also went and relistened to wasteland, baby because of it and that album still slaps. also, this cherry wine cover:

is very good. i also relistened to the staves' album dead & born & grown because i realized i have windows facing west hehe. what else...my partner's citypop playlist was my music for driving home from the airport on sunday? i wont link that one i'm not sure if it's public or not. and then gym playlist this week was just one of the spotify-made mixes that kinda slams tbh, very early-00s to 10s metal/emo music lol

i've also gotten back into twilight mirage after a bajillion years. it's good! none of the characters really stick in my head besides tender sky and fourteen fifteen unfortunately but hopefully as i listen more they'll become more distinct entities in my head.

reading: i finished the birthday of the world while i was visiting my grandma for spring break!

"solitude": hmmm. this one was interesting. it left me with a lot of questions but i think that might have been the point. 6/10.

"old music and the slave woman": i think i might have benefited from more background, i was mostly able to piece together the factions but i definitely had to puzzle over it a bit. apparently there are a lot of links to stories in another collection, four ways to forgiveness, and i'm thinking that i might have wanted to read those first. 4/10.

"the birthday of the world": title story! felt very different from all the other stories in the book, probably because this one and the following novella are the only two set outside of the hainish universe. i liked it. no strong feelings in any particular direction, i don't think. 5/10.

"paradises lost": the novella! i LOVED this one. i dont know if i was somehow exposed to it as a kid, or i learned about generation ships as a story concept from somewhere else, but i often thought about writing a short story about what religion on a generation ship would look like and turns out what i was envisioning already exists. the concept of the cult of bliss felt very realistic and almost obvious in hindsight as something that was bound to happen. i know it's left open on purpose but i reallllly want to know what happened to the ship after it left. i really loved the themes of this one. 9/10.

watching: i watched an episode of the mystery show 'vera' with my grandma when i was visiting lol. it was cute! very kitschy, genre fodder! i liked it! i was very confused because the closing quip/shot seemed to be about the titular character...shoplifting a jacket or something???? like she asked her coworker if she looked any different and he was like ? and she was like ok great and the final shot is her sitting in her car seat and annoyedly ripping the tag off her jacket, so like, ???? not sure if that's a Thing that people know just from watching a lot of it but shrug.

making: iiiiii did not work on my knitting project at all LOL but i did make my neocities site! here she is! still very in progress but hey :D

misc: trip to visit grandma/s and family went fine! everyone is doing well. back to the grind this week.

oh so the gift from my SO: he likes metalworking and similar things so he made me this necklace!

it is, apparently, titanium with embedded sapphire ball bearings! the ball bearings glow in the dark after UV exposure and they're the prettiest shade of teal, it's also a very satisfying fidget texture-wise. he asked me a few months ago what my favorite constellation is and i went "......cassiopeia i guess?? why???" "oh no reason" this was the reason. it's very nice i love it so much

finally, ive started noting down my workout stuff on my dreamwidth page as well! i thought it could be cool to keep track of what weights i'm using over time, what exercises i like and don't like, etc. so that's on there tagged as gains. huzzah

#tuesdayposting #Spotify

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souldivide · 11 months ago

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vent long personal heavy ok

it’s really helpless and crushing how im always cornered back to the same sad answer of how i should have considered the future earlier. my legs are in so much pain, im crying from how much my body aches and im simply told, you shouldn’t have been in your room all day — despite the fact i wasn’t allowed to go outside, and there was seldom walking space in our awful house. i was always sick, and always dizzy. it is crazy how dangerous black mold can be and yet we had a complete infestation of that and more. i want to consider pursuing a career ive had since i was a child though, im so passionate about art and i still am which might be a blessing considering how much commissions are hurting me mentally and perhaps physically .. opening several, several batches a year, constantly cramming them.. i think i want to do college. but i didn’t take on the scholarship i had when i graduated! i didn’t take the aid that covered my first year.. truthfully i didn’t think id make it so far. im insecure, im suicidal, im fragile. the past decade, i could barely get through anything without crying. it was humiliating to exist as i was in middle and highschool due to the living situation i was in, with no money and feeling i had no true support or even solidarity with my own mother, who must have been under much more stress than i was, trying to provide for her child. but still didn’t sympathize with me at all. the situation was hard, but i should have worked harder .. honestly, i do feel selfish for not having taken advantage of my moms effort to keep me in school, but ahhhhhh, i think it was just too much. i didn’t want to live like this. i was ashamed and disgusted, i still feel discomfort associating myself with that life. i cling to childhood and youth and traditions i missed out on because i lacked so much of that routine as a kid. is it so wrong to cry and want to die that you never got to experience a proper, loving christmas like everyone in your schools did ? no toys, no cable, only a tiiiny tiny laptop (like a 2008 chromebook-like thing) to keep me busy.. i wasn’t allowed to go outside of my own house to play with the dog, nor was I allowed to have anyone come over. wasn’t allowed to visit other people’s houses… not like i remember of that much anyways, as i barely remember anything from childhood except mortifying things.. i recently saw a way to connect to my mother by opening up. i confessed to her a lot of things as i was a mute child and never shared anything, never felt comfortable to — about how it affected me, about how i feel like im in stasis. i told her about what happened between me and my father, what happened between me and my brother, and i felt empty when she looked away from me and didn’t answer. No closure or comfort, and simply said that i should have taken advantage of my opportunities when I had them. And i have sabotaged myself. nothing else can explain for my disability, my mental health, and my plummeting education.

It took me 6 years to get an ID. 5 years to get a bank account. I don’t know how to learn how to drive and I am scared but I have to. i cannot go anywhere without someone’s help, primarily hers.

it feels too unfair, and i am still grieving for every year that passes by, even the previous year, that i am still locked in a house. i have never experienced much that i can call positive memories until i went to be with my best friend and my boyfriend. but that just made the memories painful too; when I think about how I have to end the trip. Board the plane or get in the car, and cry about how I have to go back home and be with my mother. it is not normal, to dread going back there so intensely. i wish i had a different life very badly, honestly, but a comfort i have now is that i think i am now strong emotionally and legally that i can make my own plans, manage my own bank, decide who i can visit without the permission of my mother. but. that is not because of my strength, and it is actually because she is sick. and she now has cancer as of september. I feel like i have been held in my mothers arms forced still for an entire two decades and the only reason she’s let go is because she is, her health is not well. And she has prepared me this week, a conversation of where to find her records, her files, her will, her passwords. Everything, if she passes away soon. i want to sleep forever, because i don’t want to wake up to a day wondering if it will happen soon. I don’t want to be in this position. I am scared. I wish I was with people I loved who loved me. i am shaking and sad. I wish I was too drained to cry anymore because I do it too much, for years. I wish I wasn’t such a sad person. I wish I wasn’t so miserable, I wish I had more happier things to think about when people ask me how I am. I feel miserably

I was gifted breath of the wild a couple years ago, now i am finally playing it. it helps i think. i really enjoy it most for the animal interaction and cooking and exploration.

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pwblogarchive · 3 months ago

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July 2006

July 1, 2006

“sex and the city (the part theyll never tell you)”

its strange here this time of year. because the weather never changes.it is always summer here. so it doesnt feel like the same desperate love of these three pages on the calendar. or at least not what i am used to.patrick and i wrote a song yesterday. not a hit single or maybe anything that would even turn your head.noone knows how it goes.sometimes the worst wishes are the ones that come true.yellow and white lines to the coast.you can learn to love anything if its around enough.some people learn to love their mistakes.shakes hands. "thank you, our time is up".what keeps you coming back?i got a long rap sheet.(the statute of limitations is running out on you pretty fast).the powders wet. the sparks arent coming.the hammer isnt hitting. its spinning.you can learn to love anything.posted by xo @ 11:22 PM

July 5, 2006

the last thing i think of before i fall asleep and the first thing i think of when i wake

regardless of what stars i end up under- for the best and for the worst- you have made me who i am. and i try to make myself more decent and better only because of you.

haveanicelife

Posted by xoat 6:06 AM

June 5, 2006

Stick around long enough and everyone becomes parody of themselves

you dont hate me, you hate the part of you that is like me. i cant sit here and ride my flaws until the end because the truth is i live the charmed life because of you and them. we are a gang. maybe its time to disband. im not sure i am thinking clearly but i just want you to know that i waited on you guys calls all night- they never came. i just wanted to say i miss you or im sorry or you know something that would have meant something to you. i would have made it poetic and memorable or at least something you could laugh at while drifting off to sleep. always trying to relive the glory days.

i dont care how poorly these sentences were constructed or how in the light of day i will wish i had not written them- right now i can only curse the fucking light off of this stupid western city because it wont ever get dark enough for sleep but otherwise how could you guide your way back here?

my head always feels warm right before i pass out, i always worry that there is something wrong and i wont wake up or you know i will. promise me that you wont take anything i ever say too seriously.

July 7, 2006

“his and hers”

sometimes i cant wait to be forgotten.i wish i could put up an away message in real life and just go to sleep forever.posted by xo @ 3:10 AM

July 7, 2006

“im so sorry, but not really. ('straighten up and die right’)”

i said i want to be rebuilt like a frank lloyd wright only without all of the water damage. or painted over like a monet only less blurry. she said “no, youre something different”. like what? “something better”. it gave me the rush of warm blood like you see in cartoon dogs right before their eyes pop out and all of the bells go off. my head is spinning like a car off of an icy guardrail. show me what you are made of. your eyes were always rolling but youd tilt your head so they were somehow always still stuck on me (have your cake and eat it too). i feel safe but not like a bet more like the way mothers feel when the lock the car doors in bad neighborhoods. i am blue waves across the red rootlike veins in the bodies drawn flat in medical books. i wonder at the way that someone can write thousands and thousands of pages about my insides. when i met you i gave you a name- not your own- but in my head so i wouldnt ever mix you up with anyone so ordinary- i cant tell you- but to me it meant salvation. you only wanted reaction. but i cant be bothered. not anymore. ill see you in the spring. first pew on the left. wear your white veil and dont forget the words. warped tour. sun drenched days. bestfriends. new roads. so long salvation. dont worry your pretty little heads. i am sleeping safe tonight.

July 8, 2006

“the fraternal order of the handsome boy”

ive been watching you from afar

my breath on the inside window as you walk in from the car

candy caned lies in red and white against clashing patterns bending in and out of understanding.

"youre the stranger ive been dreaming of", stranger than any ive ever known.

love through a telescopic lens. when the air is clear i can see how perfect you are for me.

late at night when the city sleeps i cast a spell on you

to make you think of me the very same way i think of you.

i only love how the words feel in my head when i write them.

fireworks over the valley. how can i tell you i gut people for a living.

that everything you say is likely to end up as evidence when i rewrite history.

over and over again.

how everything you do reminds me of something else, someone else.

how im humble and arrogant at the same time,

chased and never caught.

that i just want to stay up late and wake up early to talk to you.

that i want to show you all of my jealousy and insecurity and have you not care.

youre like a light switch and i just want to turn you on and watch them all shrink away.

the words come out of my fingertips on impulse. it is instinct. my head cant keep up.

i envy the comatose. i admire the bedridden.

i am addicted to the way i feel when i think of you.

"im blowing smoke rings around the moon...."

i wish i was the exact opposite of how the world knows me.

Posted by xoat 2:36 AM

July 11, 2006

we used to talk on the phone every single day (nooneknowshowitreallygoes).

its strange the way people will window shop on your life or score it for style and grace.

my personality and everything about me is just a carefully constructed collage of magazine articles and flashy pictures.

i am (not) real.

sometimes the days spent all by myself in my head are the scariest.

its enough to make you want to pack it up and call it a day.

all i can do is read and write and wait.

ihavecodedmessagesforyou.aretheygettingthrough.

Posted by xoat 6:32 PM

July 14, 2006

a little life, alot of death (i want to be known for my hits not my mrs.)

i should probably not be typing in this mood. i wish there was a lock on the keyboard. it is too enthralling in a state like this. just like all of this has always been. the world around me has changed as if overnight. "for someone so smart you are acting pretty stupid". i cant focus on but like three thoughts in my head but i am compeltely wrapped in them. they keep me warm at night. i pray for something to crash into me and smash me back to something more simple. i pray for fistfights so i cant be knocked out and wake up in the e.r. i wish for disaster so i can be razed. im telling you if i could do any of it again, im pretty sure i wouldnt.

fuck your life under the microscope.

fuck your conclusions.

you have no idea.

it never got me anywhere but here.

over and over again.

every single time.

i wish for five months ago. and not in the way you would imagine either. "you are unfixable". my eyes are washed out but they dont feel clean. they are strong you know not the athletic type, but could definitely used to carrying heavy bags. im guessing in any real light i will delete this, apologies in advance. whatever caption is written next to the picture is the exact opposite of me. i am mapless. you are caught. lets go out and get forgotten.

bad news travels fast. and i am the worst of it.

i will always remember the day i met you.

"leave you feelings in your heart boy".

Posted by xoat 12:57 AM

July 22, 2006

“my phone cuts out in the same place every single day ("the gospel of gossip").”

it feels like there is so much to say.but it can only be said in songs.please dont go so quickly."The city with fires of night seemed an archipelagoWomen asked the love and for the dulieBut in my eyes of male horror I rememberThe busy ones of the evening were never prettyThen the day returned but sometimes without sunTo draw up the houses coast at coast at the edge of streetsWhere our lives with the other smilar lives are mislaidLives trailing their shade while passing in the streetIntercalated in the year they was widowed daysBloody and slow Fridays of burialsWhite and whole blacks come from the skies which cryWhen the woman of the devil beat her lover"guillame appolinairesend me a flashlight. i cant seem to find my faith.iwishicould.posted by xo @ 2:17 PM

July 23, 2006

“we used to talk on the phone every single day (nooneknowshowitreallygoes)”

its strange the way people will window shop on your life or score it for style and grace.my personality and everything about me is just a cerfully constructed collage of magazine articles and flashy pictures.i am (not) real.the puppy is purple after spilling a grape soda on himself. he then ate the tropic of cancer by miller. paperback, so i guess it went down easier.sometimes the days spent all by myself in my head are the scariest.its enough to make you want to pack it up and call it a day.all i can do is read and write and wait.ihavecodedmessagesforyou.aretheygettingthrough.posted by xo @ 8:32 PM

July 26, 2006

you spend every waking moment and many sleeping ones thinking of one heart, one person. you let it slip, they let it slip. who knows where it all begins or ends. but as it falls to pieces you keep grabbing them and collecting them less like for a museum of things that used to matter and more like you are going to keep putting it back together. except there are akways a few pieces missing each time. deep breaths. slow your heart beat. the road winds. there was a time before you always felt like this. try to remember pete. you are being pulled in every direction. everything is bigger under the microscope. you want it to be simple. you make it complicated. "hey, pete- i am middle ground. how come we've never met before". sometimes i wish i could re-engineer the path from my heart to the tip of my tongue and let my head have a shot at it. i dont got bigdreams, i just want to be okay. it comes down to my word versus your word versus the worlds word and i dont think i want to anymore. im worn out. my head is full, my eyes are empty. the dog loves the salt in the corners of my eyes and on my cheeks- i am nervous about cutting it from his diet. and i could and should be, and jealous of it, from the children on the street walking hand in hand with their mothers to the homeless man content with his world of a bench. and noone knows the way i spend my nights counting the individuals grains in the tiles in the bathroom, the coolness of the floor the only comfort- or if anyone does they dont want to ehar it, i cant blame you... i dont even want to hear it anymore. in the mornings the world is blurry. it comes in and out of focus. this is when im the worst. when i awake from a dream to realize that none of it was real possibly ever.one of the things stranger than realizing you are alone in this world is realizing that you are not.pupils the size of baby worlds.every bad decision is put on file for later viewing. mapquest your way back to me, take a turn for the worse and then continue for .5 miles.i want to file a restraining order against myself.and i want to be myself again looking at my reflection in your eyes from the first time i failed you. i am nostalgic for disaster. i want it back.he sleeps sound. he has no care for what buzzes and changes in the world around him.because of this i envy him.run away from a city because of one single heartbeat. it doesnt make sense.its not that i dont trust you, actually it is. and i dont trust myself when i think of you. i sell myself out.i wish you were awake right now. i just want to let myself be happy.posted by xo @ 3:53 AM

July 28, 2006

as i run away from everything i have ever known. just whisper in my ear."and the tears come streaming down your facewhen you lose something you can't replacewhen you love some one but it goes to wastecould it be worse?Lights will guide you homeAnd ignite your bonesAnd I will try to fix youHigh up above or down belowWhen you're too in love to let it goBut if you never try you'll never knowJust what you're worthLights will guide you home"so obvious. so much more brilliant than i could ever imagine to be.be bright and shine. its dark. im sorry ive come so off course.tell the pilot to clear us to land in your backyard.posted by xo @ 11:02 PM

July 30, 2006

regardless of what stars i end up under- for the best and for the worst-you have made me who i am. and i try to make myself more decent and better only because of you.happybirthday.posted by xo @ 3:05 PM

#fall out boy #pete wentz #livejournal

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silverxcristal · 1 year ago

Note

Been reading some of my old stuff and my memory triggers to remember where and what was I doing. Also noticed most of the photos and videos I took doesnt have a saved copy outside of Instagram.

The short answer was because we were in the car traveling back home from the beach and I have motion sickness, I cannot use my phone on moving vehicles for too long without feeling awful

I can understand the curiosity as I am transparent with how I feel, being directed to you or nobody (speaking about vent) and kissing was something that had me excited but anxious, for me is a important step and I didnt wanted that first kiss to be a bad one... which was a struggle as Ive never had good kisses before

But what else can I say about a kiss other than "it happened"? How much I could write about it without being waaay too personal? The preparation for it? Timing? Fears? Expectative v/s reality? The outcome? Feedback?

All of that feel like personal thoughts, the kind that you dont share with anybody, that doesnt leave your brain.

It happened, and it was good. And It happened again and again in their own way and speed. It was good, but just like other moments we got to share I keep feeling we needed more time. Even when we woke up and head to bed early there wasnt enough hours in the day. 6 years knowing each other dont translate or adapt super quickly in 2 weeks, there were still new things happening every day when it came to know and mix our personal rutines and dynamics plus creating new ones as we go

I miss those two weeks, as it gets cold over here I remember her walking on sleeve-less shirts and sandals on the freezing mornings while I was warped in her blanket, asking if I was hold and being surprised that sometimes my teeth make noise as I trembled, while she was always warm... and she claimed that I was warm too, but for some reason felt cold either way

I dont like to think too much about how to get more time either... not only im rushing myself, but make myself super sad and i dont wanna go there

I miss her kisses, I wonder if i will keep the memory until we can hold each other again

im feeling awful, this wasnt supposed to be a vent

Have you and octy smooched yet 👀

Yes

#vent

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snorsii · 2 years ago

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happy halloween 2 me (: got hit and ran on my way home from work (: flipped my fuckin car (: (: (: (:

#this was my first and only car ive had her for over 6 years and was so proud of myself for saving up to buy her #shes gotten me all over the country...to many anime cons and friends houses...up into canada..rip maxine u will be missed dearly 💔#i am ok physically but mentally. hhfbnnbbbbbbbbbn #still shaking hahaha

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technowoah · 4 years ago

Note

if you're taking asks for the prompts, can you do 11 and 17 from the angst list with george but have a fluffy ending? she/her pronouns pls

I Can Make It Right

SHSJS I HAVE SO MUCH ANGST IN MY INBOX YALL!

Thanks for the request babe! The way it came out was gender neutral i dont think I user she/her, but it still works trust me!

George x reader imagine (established)

11) "It's not important apparently"

17) "You already made me feel like shit so might as well finish me off"

⚠︎ angst with happy ending, unresolved issue but they're gonna fix it dont worry 😌, angry George, swearing

*** = flashback

Masterlist

You had stood infront of your bathroom mirror finishing up your makeup for the night. Your hair was already done and you had a nice outfit on, not to fancy and not too comfortable. While listening to a playlist George had made for you, you had put down the brushes you were using. It didnt really matter if you cleaned up your makeup that was littered all over the sink right now, but right now you were feeling good.

Today was your and George's 3rd year anniversary and you couldn't be happier about it. Today you two were going to dinner and doing something else which was supposed to be a surprise for you. It was a night on the town.

George and you met 4 years ago actually. You two started out as acquaintances, the slowly grew into friends and then one day he asked you to join him to dinner. At first you were oblivious to his actions, thinking he was just being a good friend, but turns out the more dates you two went on the more you caught on. He officially asked you to be his girlfriend 3 years ago today.

His friends keep on pressuring George to propose already, they think it's been long enough. The only thing close to marriage is a promise ring. He put the ring on your finger as a promise that one day he would marry you, everytime you doubt that he will propose you turn your attention to the cute ring on your finger.

You had turned off the bedroom lights and sat on your bed finally relaxing after struggling to find a decent enough outfit for tonight. George said that he was going to pick you up around 6:00 and now it is 5:47 so you had some time to spare.

You had found yourself scrolling through tiktok because you had nothing else better to do at this moment. It was a guilty pleasure of yours even though you and george both joked around about hating tiktok.

Time began to tick away so you had checked the clock on your phone which said 5:57 pm. You had grabbed shoes that you set up against your bed, slipped them on and grabbed all of your belongings for the night. You stationed yourself in the living room waiting till George came to the door.

Nervousness always came up before a date, it was the anticipation actually. You were excited and nervous about the date as you always were, but today for you was special. It was three years worth of beautiful love. You remembered the time he first said I love you too, it was just like it was yesterday.

***

"Hey y/n." George looked towards you. You both were sitting on a plaid, plush blanket with a brown woven basket ontop in between you two. It was just like the movies and that why you cringed because of how cheesy it was when George led you to it.

It was sweet, it was extremely sweet and you loved these dates that George always brung you too. You always felt special when you are sitting next to him.

You responded to George. "Yeah Gogy?" You laughed at the use of his nickname.

"Im trying to be serious right now and you call me Gogy." George smiled and shook his head. "Anyways, you know I love you, right?"

"Of course I do-"

"No I love you. I mean. I'm in love with you." George reached to rest his hand ontop of yours and repeated himself. "I'm in live with you y/n."

You wasted no time answering. "Im in love with you too."

***

6:03

George didnt show up yet, but there was no sweat. He was only 3 minutes late, maybe he ran into traffick. Your stomach was rumbling, but you didnt want to eat yet since you two we're planning to go to dinner. Patience is key, and it wasnt like he wasn't late before.

6:10

You started to get worried, it's been 10 minutes and still no sign of your boyfriend. You had gotton up several times to check outside of your door only to be met with no one. Your mind was jumping to conclusions about if he forgot your anniversary, but you shut those thoughts out for the time being.

6:19

Okay this is getting out of hand. You brung out our phone and began to text George, you couldn't believe that you had waited this long before texting the man.

Where are you? Ive been waiting for 29 minutes?!

[Sent: 6:20pm]

George what are you doing?

[Sent: 6:20pm]

You awaited his text message with your phone faced up on the coffee table infront of you. You didn't want to believe that George woukd forget, or overslept, but that was becoming truth the more minutes passed by with no call or text.

6:30

Calling him was useless, because he didn't answer. He didn't hang up on you he just wasn't picking up the phone, like he turned it off. You started to get worried if something happened to him, if he was in a situation where he couldn't call or text you. You wondered if he was safe at home and not out in the middle of the street.

In a flash all your worries subsided when your phone lit up with a notification.

ThisIsNotGeorgeNotFound is live:

Im Playing golf with my friends

That son of a bitch. Pissed off was an understatement, you were fuming. How could he end up streaming at home when you had constantly reminded him about this day, he knew damn well about this day too. How could he?

You ended up grabbing a jacket and your purse and ended up driving to George's place. It seemed like he was mocking you in a way, he knew you had notifications on for Twitch. You loved to support him and his career, but this was making a fool out of yourself.

Your hand tightly gripped the steering wheel as you tried not to run every red light you cane across. You finally came across George's home, you found a place to park and quickly got out of your car and sped walked your way to George's residence. Finally making up to George's door you knocked harshly on the door probably making more noise than what you intended too. You continuously banged on his door until you got fed up.

Remembering that George had given you a key to his house you dig through your purse to get your set of keys out anr unlock his door. You stomped inside his house and closed the door behind you.

"GEORGE! GEORGE!" You yelled through the house. You were being reckless and annoying, but you didnt care at this point you were fuming and needed to tell George how you feel.

You had made your way to George's recording room where he was talking to his friends on discord. George looked towards you in shock clearly not hearing the sounds you were making throughout his house.

"Y/N?!" George yelled and muted his microphone.

"What the hell are you doing?" You exclaimed back.

"Im streaming thats what Im doing!" George sassed back at you, not paying attention to his screen and the chat.

"Dont get smart with me. End the stream."

"What?! No!"

"You heard me, we need to talk." You crossed your arms across your chest. Your heart was beating too fast for your liking and you tried to calm yourself down, but George's comments were getting to you.

George was about to unmute himself and get back to the game. "No we dont-"

"GEORGE END THE FUCKING STREAM! This is embarrassing! Talk to me cause you have some explaining to do." You snapped at him.

A silence tell upon you two and he glared at you before turning to his stream and closing it out.

"Okay guys! Go watch the other boys streams I need to go now! Bye!" George quickly ended and turned off everything.

He turned around to you still sitting in his chair. "What? What do you want?"

"Do you know what today is?" You asked.

"April 30th." George answered bluntly.

"Thats all you have to say?" You asked in shock. "It's our anniversary dickhead!"

"I fucking know that." George said.

"You do? So why did you start streaming and we had dinner plans?!"

"I told you we were streaming! You weren't listening to me!" George stood up from his chair when he said that.

"When the fuck did you tell me this?!"

"A couple days ago! You didn't listen!"

"But you knew that was our anniversary! And we made dinnerr plans-"

George yelled over you. "A month ago! We made those plans a month ago so excuse me for forgetting!"

"So all these other years you remembered our anniversary and went out of your fucking way to cancel other plans around that date, but today you didnt because why?!" Tears were threatening to fall down you cheeks, but you wouldnt let him see you like that.

"Because I planned this already with the boys! And AGAIN you werent listening to me when I said that-"

"There were several other times that you could've told me too! But you didn't!" You sniffed trying to keep the frustrated tears inside.

"I already planned this and I cant go back on my promise-"

"But you can with me?!" You yelled and George stopped talking. He's just studying your face at this point and you hated this silence.

"Its not important apparently." You said while walking out of the recording room.

"You're being a bitch." He mumbled.

"Excuse me?! That is so disrespectful!" You spun around yelled at him.

"You already made me feel like shit so might as well finish me off." George said in a annoying tone.

"Yeah you should feel like shit! I feel like shit too so-!" You threw your hands up in exasperation and stormed out the room. You had made it to the door before George called out to you again.

"Y/n! Y/n! Please!"

"No! Just..." You paused before opening the door and ushering your way out. "Call me when you get your shit together.

You were currently curled up on your couch eating leftovers that you had in the refrigerator. That had satisfied your hunger for the night because the dinner was canceled that night. Your anger and sadness had subsided and you were only left with an unusual feeling in your heart. Your relationship felt incomplete, this fight felt incomplete. You didnt break up with him, but you were waiting for closure.

The TV was the only light in the room. It illuminated what it wanted to, you didnt care if it was too dark. Usually you would be cuddled up with George at this ungoldy hour, but you weren't and that made you tear up.

Your sadness was still there, your anger towards George turned into pity. You were sad about the actions he took, but somewhere in your heart you could forgive him. You could forgive and move on if he would come to you.

Speaking of, you had a knock on your door. You didn't have the strength to get up, but you did. Shuffling your way to the door you sluggishly opened it to find George standing there with his hands in his hoodie. The person you wanted to see, but at the same time you wanted to slam that door in his face.

"Hey." George spoke and you gave him a small smile, nothing more.

You turned around to find your seat back on the couch where you were comfortable, but also giving him a silent invitation to come inside. You had sat down on the couch not paying attention to George, but you knew he closed the door, took off his shoes by yours, and put his keys on the table by the door like he always did. It was like a routine to him.

George ended up awkwardly standing beside the couch as you ignored him.

"You know, if you didnt open the door I would've used my keys like you did." George tried to spark up a conversation, but you only hummed in response. You were scared that if you spoke, you would cry.

George ended up making his way to the couch sitting beside you and pulling you into his embrace. Your head was on his chest and you began to sob. You missed this it's only been a few hours, but you had felt that in those few hours you had lost everything. You continued to sob into his hoodie as he rubbed your back and shushed you, whispering sweet nothings into the air only for you to hear.

"Im here, and Im sorry. Im so fucking sorry that I did this to you and I only hope that you can forgive me." George said, his voice cracking a little when he said that. You kept crying.

That's what you wanted to hear all along, that's what you needed. You could forgive him in due time, you always will because you love him, you will always love him. You both can always make it right.

426 notes · View notes

x3kristax3 · 2 years ago

Text

⚠️TW: drug abuse talk, fighting, small bit of curising

A Part of Me 3/3

First| Last

We pull up to the apartment and jessy is getting ready to get in a cab

"Jessy!" I yell to get her attention she looks and closes the cab door and walks over

"About time you guys showed up" she says crossing her arms

"Sorry i needed sleep and we had coffee and we needed to talk some things through this morning" i say

"I bet he was thinking of going back on that promise" she says looking at him

"No Jessy it was exactly what i said" i say getting between them

"Why are you defending him after everything hes done to you?" She asks

"Lets go inside and talk" i say

"I agree. I'm willing to do that just like i said i would" says Jake

"Fine" says Jessy

We all walk back into the apartment

"Wow different from what i remember it" says Jake

"Yeah i kept it the same for those 6 months then when i came back from the hospital anything that reminded me of you i got rid and replaced as i had the money" i say

"Yea which with her tips from the bar didn't take her long at all" says Jessy

Me and him sit in the oversized chair and Jessy on the couch

"Look Jessy, i know i messed up when i just up and left Krista but there were people after me. The same people that burned my moms house to the ground. I had to run and cut off all contact with her and everyone its the only way i could keep you all safe, specially Krista" he says looking at me

"Why didnt you leave a note saying so?" Ask Jessy

"I didnt want her looking into finding them" he says

"You know i would of Jessy, you know what i was like that night. I turned this place upset down looking for a clue" i say

"That you did this place looked like we were ransacked" she says then she looks at Jake "how do I know your not gonna just leave again in 6 months or a year or whenever?"

"I dealt with my past. Im not wanted by the FBI anymore. Ive been waiting for the right time to come back into Krista's life for 2 months and last night in the club when i saw her and that dude i just couldn't wait. It was the first time i had seen her since that day i left expect for a picture i kept hidden and i couldn't let a guy like that think he stood a chance" he says

'Look Jessy i know you think i dont have room to talk because Jake is my brother but we all knew his past and we all saw how he was before he left and i can still tell he's in love with her" says Hannah

"I'm with hannah on this Jessy. You can tell he still just wants to keep her safe even last night he punched that dude cause he wouldn't listen to her" says Cloe

"I think Dan needs to be in on this" says Jessy as she grabs her phone

"Jessy no….. ill talk to Dan. Cause i know if you call him and tell him Jake is back hes gonna be in his car on his way out here to hurt Jake" i say

"Your right i would be" says Dan walking out of the bedroom

I jump up "seriously you called him?" I say standing between him and Jake

"Yeah last night when you disappeared" says Jessy

"I just came in this morning" says Dan standing right in front of me and Jake stands up behind me and grabs me to move me

"Jake dont" i say turning my head towards him

'Krista me and him need to talk" says Jake

"You can with me between you guys" i say

"Krista move this is something that needs done" says Dan and he clenches his knuckles

'Dan please im begging you" i say with tears foaming "please let's all just talk"

" no" Dan says

I grab jakes hand and walks to my room putting me between Jake and Dan

"Krista don't do this dont protect the guy that is the reason you almost died" says Dan

"I forgave him can't you all just accept that and that even though everything I still love him" i say as i start crying

Jake turns me around facing him " what did you just say?"

"I still love you" i say as i lean into him crying

He wraps his arms around me. "All I want to do is protect her. That's all i ever wanted to do"

"You don't understand what we went through when she went through that breakdown. I tried looking for you myself cause i wanted hurt you for hurting her" says Dan "shit still want to hurt you"

"I get that Dan i do but believe me when i tell you i drank myself through it as well. You guys have no idea how bad i wanted to just say screw it all and come running back to her but i knew id put her in danger and i couldn't do that" say jake as i just hold him tight. Jake picks me up and carries me back to the chair as he sits down with me in his lap

"Dan and Jessy look at how he's just trying to protect her and make her stop crying now. Do you really think he wanted to hurt her like that?" Says Cloe

Dan looks at us "no but i don't trust him"

I look at Dan "i'm not asking you to trust him. Im asking you guys to trust me that im doing what's right for me"

"You know we trust you" says Jessy

"Then let me trust him. He doesnt have to move back in with us but i need him back in my life" i say

Jessy crosses her arms "fine but i swear to God jake you hurt her again and you will regret it"

I look at Dan "dan i need you to trust me"

"I trust you but I'm the same as Jessy"

"I can't promise if things dont work out but i promise as long as things are working i won't do that again" says Jake

Everyone walks away expect Dan

I stand up "can i leave you two alone?" I ask

"I'll come with you" says Jake as he stands up and takes my hand

"Im going to shower and change" i say

"Ill stay in the room" he says

I look at Dan "you stay out" i say

"Fine" dan say

Jake and i go into my room "Damn you really even changed everything in here too" jake says

"This was the first room. I got out and came home and started taking things out and ordering things. All the memories in here when you left drove insane. Until everything was out i slept in Jessy bed" i say going into my closet and grabbing jean shorts and a cropped shirt i turn and see him staring at me. "What?"

"You just memorize me and i missed you this last year and a half" he says walking up to me and pulling me close. He leans in and kisses me.

As he does Jessy walks in "krista theres something i need to say" she says then sees us breaking the kiss "really? Were already going back to this?"

"What Jessy?" I say looking at her

"That dude last night came up to me after you guys left and told me if he sees you again no guy is gonna stop him from taking you home" she says

I roll my eyes as Jake says "yeah until i punch him in that face of his"

"Jake!?" I say

Jessy laughs "i knew he was gonna say that" as she turns and walks away

"What he tries anything thats what is gonna happen" he says

I walk away and jump in the shower this time unlike last time i lock the door so Jake can't come in.

I come out of the bathroom after getting showered and dressed and see jake looking through a box i had under my bed of pictures of him and I together and stuff he gave me.

He sees me "i didn't expect you to keep theses all"

"Its the only things i couldn't…. You have no idea how many times i tried. Even Jessy offered and i just couldn't" i say sitting next to him.

He pulls out the very first picture we took together. "Man this was so weird showing my face to a camera after so many years of hiding" he says

"I know it took so long to get you to agree and to get that smirk from you" i say and i reach in and pull out a little jewelry bag. "I put that promise ring in here. I couldn't wear it but couldn't get rid of it" i say as i pull it out

Jakes grab it from me "i remember that night like it was yesterday" he says

Jessy opens the door "i remember it too. You guys came home and she was so happy she couldn't contain herself. I swear the whole floor heard her" she says leaning against the door

I grab it back from jake and put it back in the bag and i see a photo he pulled out. "This night" i say grabbing the photo from him "it was just you and me. Jessy had gone back to duskwood for the weekend and it was the only night we both had off together. I came home from work dead exhausted and you had ordered Chinese take out and ran a bubble bath for me and we stayed up all night watching movie. And we took this photo hyped up on sugar" i say laughing

"I remember that fight the night before" says Jake "you were so mad cause we were suppose to have a date night and i got call into work and you had gotten all dressed up and i had to call and cancel everything. That night i was trying to make it up. It might not have been a fancy night out on town but we were together and smiling and laughing so i accepted the defeat of hurting you the night before"

"It might not have been the same but it was just us alone which after everything was much needed" i say

"Theres one photo not in there that i couldn't let you toss" says Jessy pulling it out of her pocket and hands it to Jake

"Its just me at my desk" he says

I look at it "we had a fight that night but i couldn't sleep so i was sitting in bed and i looked up and i just had to snap this of you in your element" i say looking at it

"I remember that fight it was your guys first one. Jake got so mad cause we had a girls night and you came home drunk and there was no money missing and i slipped and told him guys kept buying you drinks all night" says Jessy

"Yeah that night i thought i was out of my league with you" jake says

I look at him "even through everything you knew about me? At that point of our relationship?" I say

Dan pops behind Jessy "i always said you were out of his league but you always faught it and said it was the other way around"

I look away and i feel Jake reach for me and i move and go out on the balcony.

"Guys just stay please i think me and her need to talk just us" he says getting out and following me. He sees me sitting in an egg chair, "you still have that?" He says closing the door

"I couldn't get rid of this" i say as i pick my feet into it leaving the foot rest in front of me open as i look away from him

Jake sits down on it "hey, whats going on?" He says grabbing my hand

"The memories, the fights, the inputs from Jessy and Dan just reminded me how imperfect we were together. Those things were things this last year i forgot and makes me wonder if we can make this work" i say as i feel his hands against my skin

"Believe me i hadn't forgotten those moments but you know what i also didn't forget?" He says

"Whats that?" I say looking at him

"One that look…. The look of pure love when we would fight and i would catch you looking at me. How deep i fell for you without ever touching you, how no matter how stubborn you can be, you're selfless and caring,drop dead gorgeous, and funny . How i never thought i would give a promise ring to anyone and within 2 months of having in you in my arms I knew I never wanted to lose you. How even that night i left i found myself at a jewelry store looking at engagement rings"

"What?" I say leaning towards him

"Yeah that night after i drove away i pulled into a jewelry store and stared at an engagement ring in the window i wanted to buy you"

A tear falls down my eye "after you left i looked at a store and there was one i wanted so bad for you to buy and come walking through that door and getting on a knee. I had actually saved up money and was going to go buy it and put it on a chain for if i ever saw you again to give you and when i went it was gone. The guy said some man came in and bought it and it was a one of a kind ring." I say

Jake reaches into his coat pocket on the inside "i was told that when i bought this one" he says showing it to me

I fall into tears "that's the one" i say

"Then lets update that promise ring in that box with something thats us. Once in a lifetime kind of love" jake says as he gets on a knee. "Krista i promise you one day i will move this ring to your left hand and make you my wife until then i promise you i will protect you and love you through all the good, bad, and ugly"

Jessy swings open the door "no your not allowed to propose to her"

"I accept those promises Jake" i say as i kiss him and he slides it on my right hand

"I wasn't proposing to her, Jessy." He says as he breaks the kiss

My heart sinks realizing how much they dont trust him "jessy go please i know you want to protect me but i need you to trust me with him"

"I trust you but not him" she says

"Jake ill be back" and i bring jessy and dan back into the living room. We sit down

"No im not trusting him…. I didnt trust him in Duskwood and he proved i cant trust him when he left you like that" says Dan

"I asked you guys to trust me when it comes to him and you said you do but obviously that isnt the case" i say crossing my arms as cloe and Hannah walks in from the kitchen

"Whats happening now?" Asks Hannah "i thought we dealt with this"

"I thought so too but they cant let Jake and I be alone to work through this ourselves" i say

" cause he's your blind spot" says Jessy as i see Jake walk out of my bedroom

"You don't think i don't know that Jessy? I wanted to deify him when it came to Hannah and Richy in those mines. I wanted to go in there instead of him! If i had the FBI wouldn't have shown up and i would of been in there when richy set the fire. I wouldn't have made it out. We wouldn't be where we are right now if i had done that" i say getting up and going into the kitchen

Jake follows me and comes up behind me and pulls me in as im standing at the sink and i start crying

"Guys you have to trust her cause she's right. If jake hadn't talked her out of going we would of have lost her and Richy that night." Says cloe

"And i would of never got to know my brother and Phil would of never got out of prison Jessy" says Hannah

"You two weren't here that night" says Jessy

"No but we were here when she told us the truth why they had to pump her stomach like they did and she made us promise never to tell you" says cloe

I hear them and run out there and pull my shirt up. "I bought drugs that night Jessy on top of that alcohol in my stomach there was drugs. Thats why i flatlined the combination of the two because i thought Jake was dead as well and i couldn't image living without him" i say in tears.

Jake pulls me into him and Dan realizes whats going on and walks up to me and Jake

"Jake i need to say something to her" he says

"You can say it like this" says Jake

I look towards Dan and he can see my eyes

"I didn't know you did that. I didnt know about the drugs. Im sorry you thought that you couldn't talk to me boo about how hard it was. Thinking you thought i wouldn't have dropped everything that night and speed out here to help you"

Jessy walks to her room and slams the door. I walk away from everyone and knock on her door "Jessy can i come in"

"Only you" she says

Jake is right behind me "please stay. Shes my best friend and i hid that for a year from her" he kisses my forehead and i open the door and close it behind me locking it so noone can come in

"Im sorry i hid that for an entire year from you" i say

"Why did you tell hannah and cloe but not me?" She says

"I needed them to get the package for the hospital when i came into my sense and if i told you. Everything of Jakes that was left you would of tossed before i had a chance to do it" i say sitting next to her

"What was it?" She asks

"Oxy" i say with my head down

She hugs me "im not gonna lie i knew you were hiding something but i thought you were still looking for Jake not that"

"It was only the once i did it. Waking up in the hospital with the tubes and the wires scared me so bad" i sa try crying

"Coming home to you barely breathing scared me so bad i never want to see that again. Which is why i don't want Jake back in your life" she says

"Remember us looking at the engagement ring and i wished over and over again i had got it?" I say

"How can i forget we tried finding others like it with no luck" she says. I show her the new ring "that's the ring!" She says

"That night he left he saw it and ended up being the guy that bought it" i say

She gets up and goes out there and hugs Jake for the first time since he came back "without even asking her best friend you knew what she wanted in a ring" she says

"Jessy i love her. I never want to hurt her. Last night when i felt that scar and she told me everything my heart broken because i realized at that point i hurt her and hadn't protected her like i had always promised her i would do" he says "one day i will ask you in advance if i can marry her but right now i just want to keep her safe. Even if now its just douchebags in this city"

I come walking up to them and wrap my arm around him "and im okay with that cause that means no bad guys" i say looking up at him

"Fine you can keep him again" she says

"I was planning even if you didn't approve" i say with a laugh

"But i have to go i have one of my hacker buddies in town and he's been getting into who knows what kind of trouble" says Jake

"Is that the one that was there this morning when i woke up?" I ask

"Yeah, want to officially meet him?" He asks handing me the helmet again

I look at the rest of the group "go ahead ive been bothering you since you chased him out of the club last night" says Jessy

"I think you mean ran out of the club to him" i say with a laugh

"She really did" says Jake as he hands me the helmet again

"One condition you get me a better helmet" i say grabbing it

"Deal i want to protect you" he says as he kisses me. I grab my purse and we head outside.

Jake makes a call as I see the guy from last night he comes up to me and he grabs my arm "your coming with me" he says

I swing at him and one of his friends grab my other arm i yell Jake

He turns around and swings at the guys friend who drops to the ground letting me go but the guy doesnt " dude didnt you learn your lesson last night? She's mine" asks Jake

"Nope there isn't a ring on that hand so shes fair game" he says

I put all my weight into my butt making me fall backwards and Dan comes outside and sees whats happening and grabs me as jake grabs the guy buy the shirt and swings at him and throws him "touch her again and it will be the last thing you wish you did" he says as he turns and sees me in Dans arms. He comes up to us "thanks Dan" he says

" i knew you needed to do that but wanted to get her away" he says as police come up and the guy points at Jake and I.

The police walk up "what happened miss?" They ask

"He grabbed me when i went to swing at him his friend grabbed my other hand. I called for my boyfriend and he did hit them to protect me" i say

He looks at Jake "is this true?"

"Yes officer" jake say

"Thats what the witness who called said they are trying to say you got up on them and he swung at them"

"Wow yeah not what happened" i say showing the police my arms where they both grabbed me

"Thank you" he says going and arresting them

I lean into Jake "you called me your boyfriend" he says with smile

"You claimed me as yours when protecting me. You didn't last night" i say

"Cause last night i didnt know if you wanted me to" he says

"I followed you out of a club" i say looking up at him

He kisses me "lets go we can do this forever" he says putting his helmet on.

I watch him get on the bike and bite my lips and put my helmet on and get on wrapping my arms around him. Before he starts up the bike "Jake?" I say

"Yeah" he say squeezing my thigh

"I love you"

"I love you too" he says as he starts and takes back off to his apartment

We walk up to it and his friend is at the door. "Krista, this is Dallas"

"Nice to officially met you Krista. Sorry i ran out this morning Jake wasn't sure i guess what gonna happen" he says

"Whats your hacker name?" I ask

"Im the one who told you the lie about Jake and another girl. He asked me to and to track your location last night so he could do something to get you back" he says

"Jesus thanks man rough day" says Jake

"Oh so your the one that all that time i was looking for him would make it seem like he was gone?" I say

"Ugh….." he says

"Dude be honest with her i swear its best…. I trained her" says Jake

"You didnt train her to hide her location very good" he says

"I purposely left it open so Jake could always find me" i say looking at Jake

He pulls me into his apartment and theres a girl in there. "What the hell? How did you get in?" He asks and she shows a key

"Did you forget you gave me this?" She says as she walks closer to him and tries to kiss Jake

I walk up and swing at her "he's mine drop the key and back off" i say

She ducks "who's this crazy bitch?"

"Exactly as she said… shes mine" says Jake

"What about that one night?" She asks

"It was one night i told you my heart belonged to someone i was drunk and lonely" jake says

I look at him "you slept with her?" I raise my voice

"Yes he did and it was amazing" she says

I bolt past jake and Dallas and run down the stairs and outside.

"Dallas deal with her please? I can't lose Krista" says Jake running after me

Im right outside the apartment building and im just looking both ways as i grab my phone. Jake grabs my arm "krista please don't go"

"You slept with someone when i was breaking down missing you. Thinking you were dead and she has a key to your apartment" i say pulling away and going to call Jessy

"Please Krista" he says grabbing my phone and hanging up on Jessy. "It was once she stole my key and made a copy i didn't know she did"

I start walking away and Dallas is walking her out and says "leave him alone he doesn't care about you" he says getting her a cab

Jake grabs my right hand pulling me into him and he sees the tears in the street lights "its always been you Krista" he says touching the ring

"Then prove it right here. Prove it to me right now its always gonna be me" i say giving him the ring and my phone as it dials Jessy on speaker

"Krista what's wrong?" She asks

"Jessy can i marry Krista?" Says Jake

"No its too soon" she hangs up

"I can't without her blessing" he says

I walk away and Dallas stops me "don't walk away from him because of her. Shes crazy as one of his buddies i promise you this ive never seen him like this with anyone else like he is with you. Any other girl he would of dealt with crazy before chasing the other girl"

"Your the one that stopped me from finding him and now you don't want me to walk away?"

"Krista turn around please" says Jake. I turn around and he's on his knee for the second time today. "I can't promise you easy, i can't promise it will always be worth it, but I'll always love you. Krista, will you marry me one day?" He asks grabbing my left hand

"But Jessy told you no" i say

"I don't care i cant lose you again" he says as he slides the ring on and its a perfect fit as he stands up i kiss him and he pulls me close

"You really don't want me to walk away huh?" I say

"Now you can't," he says as he picks me up.

I hear Dallas behind us " are we gonna get food?"

"Chinese?" I say with a laugh. All of a sudden i see Jessy calling my phone that Jake still has "i should answer that" i grab the phone and its video "hey Jessy"

"I swear to God he better not have asked you" she says

Jake gets into the camera "sorry but i can't lose her again" he says grabbing my left head

"Jake!" She yells

"Jessy we will talk later were in the street were heading for Chinese" i say

"No im coming to his apartment now so you guys better wait everyone else went back to Duskwood" she says and hangs up the phone

"Sorry guys, looks like we're waiting" i say as i head back inside.

Once inside Jakes apartment i look around and I notice a picture on the wall that is of him and I. I walk up to it and run my fingers on it. Jake walks up behind me "that has always been my favorite picture of us" he says

"Mine too…. You took it off the wall that night and i knew you left not because you wanted to but had too" i say

"Is that why you looked so long?" He says

"Yeah exactly why because i knew you wouldn't take that picture unless you planned on coming back into my life. We were having our first official date when we moved out here just you and me. You got a reservation at this super fancy restaurant and got me that dress. We stood in front of a mirror and i snapped that picture while you were memorized by me"

"I still am memorized by you Krista"

There's a knock on the door and Dallas opens it " ugh guys there is a pissed redhead here" he says and she pushes past him

"I told you it was too soon when you called asking"

"Jessy i told him to do it if he has the balls" i say getting between then

"Why?" She asks.I told her all that just happened with the other girl. She pushes me out of the way "while she was breaking down thinking you were gone, you slept with another girl!?" She says getting ready to swing

"Jessy, please listen to me!" I yell

"Krista no….. were not doing this again like at our apartment its either me or him and if you pick him i'm going back to Duskwood" she say.

"Jessy please don't make me choose" i say as i fall on the floor against the wall with tears in my eyes. Jake tries to come to me and Jessy stops him

"No she needs to pick between you and me right now" she says

I get up and walk out of the apartment building again and start walking away

"Jessy you can afford to lose her. I cant!" Says Jake as he runs out after me im a block away already and he runs towards me once hes up to me he gets in front of me and he sees the tears run down my face "i won't make you choose i just can't lose you" he says holding me close

I hear Jessy running up "i guess you made your choice" she says

" Jessy no your my best friend…. Jake is my soulmate no matter which i pick i lose a piece of my heart"

"Well i did in the mine" says Jessy

"You still have me. Don't let this happen" i say facing her

"Then tell him no make it a promise ring" she says

"Its a promise to one day marry me no matter which hand its on" i say to her

"Well he just came back" she says

"Did Dan not tell you what happened outside of our apartment.. if i let Jake walk away he wont be able did to protect me if that guy comes back" i say

"Wait he already tried?" She says

"Yes! Jake punched him and his friend to get me safe and Dan pulled me away as soon as he could" i say

"This is true Jessy. All i ever want to do is keep her safe. Yes i moved the ring to her left hand but we're not gonna rush the wedding planning but i have to keep her safe." Says Jake wrapping his arms around me

I walk up to Jessy "please trust me. If he hurts me like that again you can do whatever you want to him" i say

"Im holding you too that" she says hugging me.

I hug her back "do you understand what I'm trying to say?" I say as Dallas finally catches up to us

"No but even in 24 hours i see a different glow around you and i can't stop that" she says

"Then join us for Chinese and we will talk about it" i say

"Yes we need food" says Dallas

"Fine" she says i walk back to Jake and he holds my hand. We get to the place which isn't far a walk and they sit us down.

We all place our orders and i look at Jessy across the table

"Hey its okay. He's a free man. No more hiding or having to run to protect me" i say grabbing my best friends hand.

"I just don't see how after what happened how you can forgive him so easy" she says

"Remembed how after the mine you said you would do anything to have richy back even after everything?" I say

"Yeah that was the first night you came to duskwood" she says

"You would of forgiven him for everything he did to you, hannah, all of us just to have him back. Am i right?"

She sighs and looks out the window "yeah"

"Then how is me forgiving Jake any different? He left to protect me from the FBI so we didnt get caught in the cross fire" i say

"I get it he's better then richy" she says standing up

I stand up with her "no I'm not saying that. Im saying if you were in my position with richy you would of done the same things. The steps would of been exactly same. You would be standing in front of your best friend explaining the same thing" i say

She looks at me and then looks at Jake as him and dallas or talking computers "you really love him huh?" She says looking back at me

"Yes. Ive never loved someone like this. I really thought he was gone for good until the club" i say as i sit back down and lean against him. He squeezes my thigh

"Please sit down Jessy. I know things wont be how they were right away but having both of you in my life in this city is what i need. You saw me this last year. You saw the drinking i did and tearing my heart up everytime i would hear his name." I say

"You should of seen her in the chats" says Dallas

I kick him under the table and give him a stare down "you were still in those chats this last year?" Says Jessy

"Yeah trying to find anything out about Jake. Dallas here was the only one feeding me information per Jake so i knew he was at least alive and not captured"

She sits down as the food comes out "you never told me that." She says grabbing some of my orange chicken so i grab some of her food.

"Well yeah i didn't know what i was gonna get so i didn't want to worry you" i say taking my bite "okay maybe i should of gotten yours" i say with a laugh

"Haha but not im not a fan of yours." She says

We all just start conversational with each other sharing our food and having a fun time. I get up to use the restroom and as i come back i see them all getting along and it brings a smile to my face. Jake looks for me and see me standing there watching and when i sit back down he kisses me as he pulls me close

#duskwood #duskwoodlover #duskwood fanfiction #fanfic #writing #mc x jake

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searchingwardrobes · 3 years ago

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Ivory Runs Red: 5/6

First off, massive thanks to the @cssns, my beta @demisexualemmaswan, and my artist @cocohook38. Cocohook created this amazing cover art, and she is working on something else too to go with this story. The rough sketch made my jaw drop, so I can’t wait for ya’ll to see it!

This part is going to be a little long, but I need to address something that I got multiple comments about. Just bear with me; this is the only way I can think to clear things up. I was really surprised to see that some people were angry at David and Mary Margaret for not doing anything to find Emma and/or "allowing" her relationship with Neal. Others simply expressed things along the lines of "I hope you explain what David and Mary Margaret did about all this." The reason this reaction surprised me so much is because I thought it was clear that they HAD done something. Why would the Golds need to get rid of police files if the Swans never reported Emma missing? Why would issues of the newspaper be missing from the library if Emma's disappearance wasn't reported on? Obviously, David and Mary Margaret did something! As for Neal, they had no idea Emma was seeing him. If you'll recall, in a previous chapter, Emma told Killian she had to sneak out at night to meet Neal. So that wasn't Snowing's fault either. Also, how would any of these characters know what David and Mary Margaret did or didn't do for their daughter? This is almost a hundred years later, and Emma's memories are dulled from being a ghost for so long. The only way I could spell out clearly how Snowing handled their daughter's disappearance would be some sort of convoluted info-dump, and I didn't want to destroy the tone and mood of the story to do that. But just so everyone knows: Yes, Emma's parents were devastated. They did everything in their power to find her, never giving up hope (which is so in character for them!). They died still believing she was either still out there or that crimes against her had gone unpunished. It broke their hearts. The Golds spread rumors that Emma was some kind of slut who ran away with a guy, and the people of Storybrooke overall thought the Swans had gone crazy. So there it is, that's the back story that I just couldn't figure out how to fit in the story, lol.

I'm not mad at the questions, to be clear. I was just surprised by them. I guess I blame the show for ruining these two as parents the last couple of seasons. Maybe that's why everyone jumped on them so fast. I was also honestly worried that ya'll would be upset with me for not addressing the topic, hence this long explanation! No one was rude by any means, so don't go trying to defend me from nonexistent trolls, lol! My feelings have NOT been hurt. I simply wanted to address the questions that were asked and the misplaced anger toward Snowing. (Not anger towards me - but fictional characters!)

Okay, now that I've cleared all THAT up, let's get on with the next chapter, shall we? And I'll go ahead and warn you: this is gonna hurt . . .

Summary: When ebony flashes gold, blood runs cold. When ivory runs red, you’ll be dead. Killian Jones had heard the old rhyme his entire life. Every child did in Storybrooke, Maine. They heard it whispered in the dark at sleepovers as children; taunted as a challenge as teenagers. Killian never believed it was actually true. Until that fateful night …

Rated M for graphic depictions of violence, abusive relationships, and major character death (I mean, it’s a ghost story ya’ll, people are dead. BUT I promise, there is a happy ending. Trust me? *peeks from around a corner*)

Length: 6 chapters, complete, updated every Friday

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four

Also on Ao3

Tagging the usuals: @snowbellewells @whimsicallyenchantedrose @kmomof4 @xhookswenchx @let-it-raines @bethacaciakay @tiganasummertree @shireness-says @stahlop @scientificapricot @spartanguard @welllpthisishappening @resident-of-storybrooke @thislassishooked @ilovemesomekillianjones @kday426 @ekr032-blog-blog @lfh1226-linda @ultraluckycatnd @nikkiemms @optomisticgirl @profdanglaisstuff @ohmakemeahercules @carpedzem @branlovestowrite @superchocovian @hollyethecurious @vvbooklady1256 @winterbaby89 @delirious-latenight-laughs @jennjenn615 @snidgetsafan @itsfabianadocarmo @lassluna @distant-rose @courtorderedcake @winterbythesea @thesschesthair @killian-whump @thisonesatellite @batana54 @it-meant-something @xsajx @therooksshiningknight @gingerchangeling

Chapter Five: Run

“You’ve got to tell them what you saw - what you’ve learned,” Killian pleaded.

Graham shook his head, his curly hair falling in his eyes as he stared at the slender hands he clasped in his. His eyes were bloodshot, his jaw sported far more facial hair than it normally did, and Killian didn’t have to ask if he’d slept in the past forty-eight hours.

“They won’t believe me.”

Killian’s jaw clenched in frustration. “But if I saw Emma, and you saw her, then maybe they’ll believe -”

“That Belle saw a ghost push Mike Gaston off the troll bridge? They’ll believe that? Really?” Graham let out a sarcastic, bitter laugh. “You really are just a naive kid if that’s what you're thinking.”

“But you’re a cop!”

“I’m still only nineteen! They’ll think we’re just over-imaginative teenagers.” Graham paused, reaching up with one hand to trace the curve of Belle’s cheek as she slept in her drug-induced prison. “That will land us in rooms just down the hall with our own IV full of an antipsychotic cocktail. How will I help her then?”

“You’ve fallen in love with her.” It wasn’t a question.

Graham sighed. “How could I not? And how could he -” He broke off, his blue eyes flashing. “I’m not sorry he’s dead. If I’d been there and saw him hurt her -”

“Shh, I wouldn’t say things like that. Not here.”

Killian’s gaze fell to the bruises around Belle’s neck, and he didn’t blame Graham at all. It terrified him to think what could have happened if Emma hadn’t shown up.

“History repeats itself,” he murmured under his breath.

*************************************************

Killian had scarcely arrived at the bridge when headlights blinded him. He turned away, blinking, stumbling, refusing to be stopped.

“Emma! Emma!” he shouted. He tripped and dropped his flashlight. It broke as it hit the ground, rolling to the edge of the bridge. Now all he could see was ebony before him and radiant luminescence behind him.

His palms scraped against the asphalt as Liam hauled him to his feet. His brother gripped his upper arms so tightly it was almost painful, and he gave him a brief shake.

“You’ve got to stop this!”

Killian fought him. “I have to see her!”

Liam had always been broader than Killian with an unfair advantage in all their childhood tussles. Even now, Killian was no match for him as he lifted him bodily with one arm and hauled him over to his car.

“You need help!” Liam literally tossed him into the backseat.

“I’m not going home!” Killian tried to scramble out, but Liam just shoved him back inside.

“Good, because I’m not taking you home.”

*******************************************************

“Why won’t you be straight with us, kid?”

Killian glared at the detective with a cynical sneer. The psychiatrist on the cop’s left frowned at Killian’s attitude. The choice of words was cruel considering he was in a literal straightjacket. His vision of the two men was obscured by the long strands of dark hair before his eyes. Haircuts were apparently seen as a luxury on the psych ward.

“I’ve answered all your questions,” Killian finally told them wearily, “you just don’t like what I had to say.”

“Because we want the truth,” the psychiatrist, Dr. Archie Hopper, said gently. He was clearly playing the part of “good cop.” Or “good doctor.” Whatever.

“I told you the truth.”

“There’s no such thing as ghosts.”

Killian snorted a laugh. “Tell that to Mike Gaston.”

The detective’s voice took on a harsh, warning tone. “Mike Gaston was the victim of murder.”

“The victim!” Killian cried, his voice snapping up. “What about the bruises he put on Belle? Or the fact that I nearly died when he tied me to that bridge!”

The detective’s lips curled up in a lewd sneer as he lit a cigarette. “If some horny teenager likes it a bit rough, that’s none of my business.”

Killian fought his bonds, his jaw clenching at the detective’s insinuation. He was as bad as Neal Gold, maybe worse. He had to be pushing fifty at least, and a pot belly strained at his button up shirt. His eyes widened as Killian raged.

“Bothers you though, I see.” He leaned forward. “Nobody blames you for wanting her, kid. Nobody blames you for being jealous. But murder? That’s a different story.”

“I told you I had nothing to do with that!”

The detective glanced at Dr. Hopper, and the soft spoken psychiatrist took over. “Killian, start at the beginning for us. What did Belle say when she called you that night?”

“I’m telling you, she didn’t call me, she didn’t come to my house. I saw her early that afternoon at the library. That was it. Then my brother got a phone call that there had been an accident, and we came to the hospital.”

“You and Belle were at the library together a lot,” Hopper said softly, “what did you two do there?”

Killian rolled his eyes. He hated the patronizing way the man asked the question. “We studied. Did our homework. We were friends.”

The detective snorted again, and Killian wanted to scream. “Drop the act, kid. You really expect us to believe that you spent all that time with her, all that time with a hot chick, and you never fucked her?”

Dr. Hopper recoiled at the foul language, and Killian thought his own jaw might actually break.

“You’re just as much a misogynistic, narrow-minded, neanderthal as Mike Gaston.”

The detective grinned and slapped Dr. Hopper on the knee. “You were right, shrink, this kid’s smart.” He took another puff of his cigarette as he eyed Killian. “Smart enough to plan an elaborate murder with your knocked-up girlfriend?”

“That’s the most ridiculous - wait - did you say knocked up?”

“Hm,” the detective mused, leaning back in his chair and rubbing at his five o’clock shadow. “You didn’t know?”

Killian was horrified when a laugh slipped past his lips. Another bitter laugh followed, then another, until before he knew it, he was shaking with them. He was laughing hysterically while wearing a straightjacket. That thought made him laugh even more, and if he didn’t seem like a lunatic before, he sure as hell did now.

“What the hell is so funny?” thundered the detective.

Killian’s laughter stopped abruptly and he leveled the man with an intense stare. “History repeating itself. That’s what’s so funny.”

A smile that he knew bordered on manic curled his lips. Yes, history had repeated itself, and this time, Emma Swan had won.

************************************************************

They didn’t have enough to charge him, or Belle, or anyone else really with Gaston’s murder. It was officially declared an accident, and theoretically, Belle French and Killian Jones were free to move on.

Killian wouldn’t say it was easy for Belle. She had severe trauma from that terrifying night, and she ended up losing the baby because of it. Nevertheless, she had Dr. Hopper’s patient help, her father’s support, and Graham’s unwavering devotion. Soon, though it would be a long time before she was truly healed, she was able to go home.

Killian, on the other hand, didn’t really want to go home. For one, he, unlike Belle and Graham, refused to stop talking about Emma - refused to lie and say he made it up. He didn’t fault his friends for it; didn’t take it as a betrayal. He even understood their reasoning when they begged him to do the same and just play along, damn it. He simply couldn’t do it. Emma was too real, too precious. He knew her in a way they never would. He knew the feel of her skin, the taste of her lips. He wouldn’t - couldn’t - let that go.

The psych ward wasn’t so bad. The drugs numbed him to the point that he sailed on a sea of oblivion half the time. He’d stopped fighting, so there was no more straight jacket, no more bed straps.

And she came to him. Sometimes the drugs meant he wasn’t lucid enough to really carry on a conversation. On those nights, she curled up next to him on the bed. She ran her fingers through his hair and caressed his cheeks. She pressed kisses to his lips, and sometimes he could respond in kind.

Other times, though admittedly rare, they would talk. About everything and nothing at all. One night, they talked about their dreams for later, after high school, and suddenly Emma began to weep.

“I know,” he soothed, brushing her forehead with a kiss, “you fear you can never have that. But maybe we can figure it out. If we somehow get the truth out. About your murder -”

Emma silenced him with a finger to his lips. “That isn’t it, Killian. It’s you. I have no more tomorrows but you can.”

His brow furrowed, and she sighed and soothed the lines away with the pad of her thumb.

“But not if you keep holding onto me.”

His arms instinctively pulled her closer. “I’ll never let you go.”

She sighed, and sadness filled her eyes. She slipped out of his embrace and rose from the bed. Her skin grew white, her gown floated in an ethereal way at her feet. He frowned and scrambled to a sitting position.

“I have to say goodbye,” she told him. She said it with an edge of discovery in her voice. Her lips turned up in a soft smile even as a tear slipped down her cheek.

He shook his head and tried to reach for her, to leave the bed, but he had just enough drugs in his system to make his movements sluggish and ineffectual.

“I won’t let you see me again.”

“No, Emma, please! I love you!”

“And I love you. That’s why I have to do this.”

She was already fading away. Killian made a fist and slammed it into his thigh. Tears stung his eyes.

“Be happy,” she told him, “for me.”

Then she was gone.

#cs ff #captain swan ff #cssns21 #captain swan supernatural summer #ghost story #horror #strange lieutenant duckling #lol trust me #happy ending of sorts

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kookingtae · 4 years ago

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the equation of love (pt. 10)

pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 | pt 4 | pt 5 | pt 6 | pt 7 | pt 8 | pt 9 | pt. 10

professor yoongi x uni student reader

→scenario: When you met Yoongi in a club, you thought it was fate that brought the two of you together. But after you walked into your college math class for the very first time, you weren’t so sure anymore.

→genre: smut | fluff | angst

→word count: 10.5k

→a/n: alternatively: fuck it, it’s been five years and this wip has been staring at me for three of them, so im just gonna post it. i have not read this over since 2018, so pls dont judge me too harshly hhsdg it’s unedited and probably a bit cringy, but then again what ch of teol isnt? this is NOT all that i have planned for the series, but i figured something is better than nothing, right? and perhaps the saying better later than never applies here, too. maybe one day i’ll finally get around to finishing it (by then im sure no one will even be around to remember what teol is lmao) but until then, enjoy what ive been sitting on! and as always, if you’re still here, thank you for your endless patience and support with this series <3

→another a/n: after this will probably be an epilogue!

→tw: mentions of blackmail, r*pe and sexual assault (we mostly just get closure on the whole professor lee & jun situation!!)

→warning: this chapter is not a happy ending, but it’s not necessarily a BAD one either, so for those who don’t like to finish on an unhappy note, it’s up to you on whether you’d like to read it or wait for the epilogue to be posted!

Running water.

It was such a simple yet fascinating concept—atoms and molecules coming together to form the only substance on earth that has a natural state in all forms, while having the power to kill in three different ways. Solid, by hypothermia; liquid, by drowning; gas, by suffocation. This substance can take three different forms, yet it's most commonly a liquid, covering nearly 71% of the world with translucent bodies of water. Oceans, ponds, lakes—though the most enchanting of them all were rivers. They were always moving, crashing beyond rocks and bustling with the flow of the current and gravitational pull of the earth. Rivers were passionate, and strong, and no matter how hard one tried they couldn't break the whipping tide that was pushing against them. Nothing could cause the powerful force to falter.

But, like most things, even rivers must come to an end. The current stops flowing, and the waves stop breaking around the jagged rocks, and the powerful force that seemed it would never end dulls to a still, calm lull, as if the river was nothing more than a brief yet raging storm. All the passion, all the fight—over in a blink of an eye, left to dissipate into the mysteries of the vast ocean.

Staring down at the picture on the cell phone screen in front of me was like getting pulled by the current of a river; down, down, down I flowed until there was no river left around me and I was left stranded in the middle of the sea. Yoongi and I were once raging, and passionate, and ready to fight against anyone who tried to tear us down, but now the fight was over. We had been dragged too far, fading into a body of water that was not our own. This was bigger than us.

Yes, like the flow of a river, all things must come to an end.

"That's it," Yoongi gritted his teeth, and I felt the dip of the mattress beneath me as he rose to his feet in anger.

"Yoongi," I called his name in a warning tone, warily standing up from the bed and watching him move around the room. "What are you doing?"

"I'm over it," he said, hastily throwing the first articles of clothing he could grab from his drawers over his body. "I'm done dealing with all of this, Y/N! I'm going up to the school."

Despite the flare of determination that sparked in my heart at his words, his rage seeming to radiate off of him and onto me as well, I couldn't help the trepidation that I was also filled with; Yoongi didn't have a history of making rational decisions out of anger.

"Don't you think you should calm down first?" I offered, trying my best to match his pace around the room.

"No!" Yoongi suddenly skidded to a halt in front of me, his eyes wild and crazed. "I'm going to find her and I'm going to fucking kill her!"

I could only stand with a gaping mouth and watch as he stormed out of the room, leaving me with no choice but to pull on my old clothes and chase his stomping foot steps. He grabbed his keys before storming out of the apartment, down the stairs, and outside into the parking lot. I tried to ignore the blindingly bright sunlight as I squinted my eyes and continued after him.

"Follow me up to the school," Yoongi barked as he hopped into his car.

"Yoongi–" I started, but my consoling voice was cut off by the slam of his door. I frowned, scrambling to unlock my vehicle as his engine roared to life.

The drive to the university was a nerve-wracking one. I kept a watchful eye on Yoongi to make sure he wasn't speeding or swerving all over the road; they say you're not supposed to operate a vehicle while you're upset. Though it would seem my efforts were futile, because he did in fact speed and swerve, and all I could do was frown and try to keep up.

It wasn't that I wasn't angered by Professor Lee; I was furious, rage and disgust and frustration all stewing inside of me like a pot of water that was ready to boil over. But I just couldn't help but worry for Yoongi. I had always been the non-confrontational type, always hoping that with a little time things would get better if they were ignored long enough. But it would seem that my method was proven inefficient today, because as much as I had tried to ignore her antics, that wicked woman wouldn't stop at anything to make sure Yoongi and I were properly dragged through the mud and going down like a ship engulfed in flames. Yet as much as that angered me, I couldn't bare the thought of the turmoil it was causing Yoongi. I didn't know when I had started casting my own feelings aside and putting his above—it was a gradual thing rather than one, defining moment—but it was only another factor that proved how much I actually loved this man. And that very thought instilled a fear that shook me to the very bone.

We had a lot more to lose now than just his job and my education. We could be losing us. And that was more important now than it had ever been before.

Once we arrived at the university there were a lot of screeching brakes, messy parking and fumbling hands as I scrambled to catch up to his looming figure that seemed to stalk towards the building at an unnatural pace. The pounding of my heavy heartbeat was what drove me forward, anxiety rising with each quickened step that I took.

"Yoongi!" I yelled once I had lessened the distance between us, now dead center on the campus sidewalk. "Yoongi, wait!"

All of a sudden he whirled around, his abrupt halt causing me to crash straight into his chest. I let out a yelp in surprise, eyes wide and ready to interrogate him, before I felt the smooth curvature of his palms on either side of my face as he tilted my head up to his and slammed his mouth onto mine.

The world stopped spinning for a moment, everything around me fading into the motions of his plush skin, his soft lips exploding with flavor and spilling over my tastebuds, satisfying my thirst in a way that no water ever could. I didn't even question it for a second before I was melting into him, quite literally becoming putty in his hands as the rest of the world instantaneously escaped my mind.

It's funny the way that worked—the way he was able to completely erase everything that had once existed in the blink of an eye, just by his simple touch. Whether it was magic, or I was just that fucking whipped, I didn't know. But either way, I didn't possess the power to stop it even if I wanted to.

When Yoongi finally broke away, he was breathing heavily, his breath fanning across my face in cool puffs of air. "I don't care what anyone thinks anymore," he spoke onto my lips, his forehead pressing against mine with a firm force. "Let them see. The only thing I care about is you."

It was then that I was suddenly aware of our surroundings, the reality of our world crashing down around me as I glanced around at all the eyes watching us. It varied; there were those choosing to spare us a glance as they walked to and from their classes, those who stalled their current actions to lift their heads to us not once, not twice, but three times, and then there were those who stopped altogether, their widened eyes and slackened jaws dead giveaways that they knew exactly who Yoongi was: Professor Min, Algebra 101 instructor.

A stroke of his thumb across my cheek brought my attention back to him; I stared up into his eyes, the desperate look in them captivating me and making it impossible to look away. His chest was rising and falling beneath his shirt, his fingers were grappling at my face as he brushed my wisps of hair out of the way, silently begging me to understand, to agree with him.

And in that moment, I knew what I had to do.

My lungs were filled with a breath of newfound determination, dazed and driven by Yoongi's words and embrace. "I love you," I spoke with conviction, caressing the nape of his neck as if to give him more reassurance. "Let's go.”

With that I grabbed his hand, holding my head high for the rest of the campus to see as I started up Yoongi's stride towards the school's building. He was right beside me, weaving his fingers through mine and giving my hand an extra squeeze as if to say that he was here, that he was proud to let the world know that I was his and he was mine, and that he wasn't going anywhere.

We were going to take down Professor Lee.

The seminar room was empty of students when we stormed in. Seats were placed throughout the floor, papers were scattered on the desks, and Professor Lee was at the front of the room, fiddling with the cords from the projector screen.

At the sound of the door opening, her head snapped up. "Well well well, look what we have here," she smirked when she saw us, making no plans to move as she saw me marching over to her. "You know, I really don't think–"

Slap!

The impact of my palm to her face cut off her words, skin on skin contact crackling through the room and echoing into a deafening silence.

Professor Lee gasped, immediately grasping where a red mark was now forming on her cheek before looking up at me with wild eyes. "You just slapped me!" She cried in disbelief.

"You're damn right I did," I gritted my teeth, taking a threatening step towards her and raising my palm. "Want me to do it again?"

It was then that I felt Yoongi's hand on my back, the feeling having an instant calming effect over my senses whether he wanted it to or not. I sighed before visibly relaxing and lowering my hand.

"You're barbaric!" Professor Lee was foaming at the mouth, still holding her face with a slack jaw. "Are you forgetting that I'm a professor? When Dr. Kim finds out about this, I swear he'll–"

"Tell him!" I roared as loud as my vocal chords would let me. "Tell whoever, tell the whole world, I don't fucking care! I'm done with your bullshit, you selfish psychotic witch!"

With that I gave her one final shove against her shoulders, and when both of her hands flew out to grab ahold her surroundings in an effort to keep from falling over, I planted another slap right across her face. The impact stung my hand, but I didn't care. Seeing Professor Lee stumble through the air was worth it.

"Baby," Yoongi spoke in a gentle yet warning tone next to me, and I had almost forgotten he was there until I felt his grip slightly tighten around my waist. It was a comforting hold, as if to say he completely trusted and supported whatever I chose to do in this situation, but still a protective hold nonetheless. He wanted to make sure I wasn't going to get myself hurt.

"You know, what is your problem, exactly?" I tilted my head at her as she struggled to get her bearings straight. "Is there an actual reason you're doing all of this, or are you just mentally insane?"

"It–it's not right!" Professor Lee stuttered with wide eyes, raising a shaky finger to point at me and Yoongi. "Your relationship, it's–"

"Oh cut the bullshit, Sara," Yoongi let out a sound of disgust from beside me. "We all know that's not why."

"I... I..." she stumbled for words, wide eyes glancing back and forth between the two of us. "Who do you guys think you are? You can't just storm in here and start attacking me–"

I took a menacing step forward, pure rage making up for what I lacked in intimidation. "Are you fucking kidding me?" I fumed, reaching out to grab her again.

"No, please!" She suddenly cowered before I could get to her, shielding her head away from me with her arms. "I—Yoongi, I'm in love with you!"

Her confession sent me reeling backwards in a downwards spiral, my body instantly going limp as I watched her with a dumbfounded expression. A vast silence echoed throughout the room that could be cut with a knife before she finally spoke again.

"Ever since you started working here, I knew you were the one. I just knew it." Her voice was sad, exhausted now, and a look of defeat washed over her features.

"What?" Yoongi gaped in disbelief. "Sara, that was two years ago!"

"I know!" She spat harshly. "You don't think I know that? For two years, I had to deal with this silly crush I had on you. I had to spend every day with you, watching it bloom into love overtime, and there was nothing I could do about it."

"You could've just told me!" Yoongi exclaimed as if that was the obvious answer.

Professor Lee snorted humorlessly. "Yeah, and be made a fool of? No thanks." She lowered her eyes to the ground.

"Sara, we're grown adults. You could've acted like one and fucking said something to me about it, made a move, anything but drag my career under the bus!" Yoongi's voice was strained now, his eyes wide as if silently begging her to understand him while he was equally trying to understand her.

"I was going to!" She lashed out again while whipping her head up towards him. "I was working up the courage to ask you out on a date, and then I see that fucking slut on your lap and I–"

"Don't you dare call Y/N that," Yoongi suddenly growled, pushing past me and stepping towards her intimidatingly. "One more thing out of your mouth about her and I swear to god I will kill you right here, right now."

My breath hitched in my throat at his threat and I couldn't help but weave my arm around his to grab his hand, intertwining our fingers and squeezing tightly. He gripped mine back even tighter, as if he was desperately trying to latch onto whatever calming effect I seemed to have over him.

Professor Lee swallowed, choosing to stay silent and watch him carefully as jagged breaths rose and fell from her chest. "The point is," she continued on, "I saw you with someone else—someone who wasn't me. And that completely tore my heart to shreds."

"So the only solution is to ruin our lives," I chimed in sarcastically.

"I may not have gone about it the best way," she quickly gritted her teeth and shot me a glare before turning her attention back to Yoongi, "but I had to act on instinct. I still wanted to be with you, so I figured that maybe if I split the two of you up, you would have no one else to turn to but me."

Yoongi just stared at her, his face scrunched up in a mix of confusion and disgust. "Do you know how sick and twisted that is?" He asked.

"All I ever wanted was to be with you, Yoongi," she pleaded, her tone vulnerable now as she took a tentative step towards him and started to raise her hand up to caress his cheek. "I still do. It's not too late; we can leave now, just you and me and forget this whole thing–"

"Don't fucking touch me," he knocked her hand away with his forearm just before it could reach his face. "If you think I'm going anywhere with you, you're even crazier than I thought." He then stepped back to wrap his arm around my waist and pull me securely into his side. "I'm in love with Y/N, and I don't give a shit what rumors you or anyone else wants to spread about it. You're fucking pathetic."

At that moment there was the sound of a door bursting open, causing the three of us to turn our attention to the entrance of the room. There, standing in the doorway, was Dr. Kim.

The sight of him immediately deflated the elation I was feeling from Yoongi's words, instantly replacing them with a sense of anxiety and fear that lodged its way into my throat until I was sure I would die from suffocation. This was it; according to the text from Professor Lee, he had already seen the picture of me and Yoongi kissing. This was the moment that would decide our future forever.

I just hoped we had enough evidence against Professor Lee for him to take our side.

"So let me get this straight." Dr. Kim folded his hands on the dark oak wood of his office desk. "Professor Min and Y/N had relations before Y/N became a student here, while Yoongi was unaware of her age?"

"Yes sir," Yoongi nodded his head in assurance.

"And then you continued your relationship, even after finding out that she was your student."

"He didn't at first," I interjected in hopes of getting some of the heat off of Yoongi. "He tried to call it off, but I kept pushing it. The reason we got back together during school was my fault, not his."

Yoongi's eyes met mine from the chair next to me, his gaze seeming to hold the words that silently spoke that's not true, and I instantly knew what he was thinking. In actuality, he had been the one to give me after-school tutoring on that Saturday during the homecoming football game, not I. He had been the one to kiss me first that day. But there was no way in hell I would ever tell that to the dean.

"I don't care whose fault it is; all that matters is that it happened," Dr. Kim frowned. "And it's still happening if I'm not mistaken, correct?"

"I... um," my eyes flickered to Yoongi, every fiber of my being starting to fill with panic. Shit, we should've discussed this beforehand. I wasn't going to willingly rat Yoongi out, no matter how many times he's said he didn't care anymore if people knew about us.

Suddenly I felt the warm, soft sensation of skin wrapping around the curvature of my hand that was resting atop the wooden armrest. "Yes, it's still happening," Yoongi spoke, and then his fingers were intertwining with mine.

I practically choked on my own spit at his words; did this boy have a death wish? A cough came sputtering out of my lungs, the sound causing everyone in the room to look at me until I'd settled down. Even Professor Lee leaned forward from her seat on the other side of Yoongi, bewilderment written all over her expression as she gave me a look of disgust.

"Well there's your proof right there." She threw her hands up in defeat before gesturing to the two of us. "What more do you need? Expel them, Dr. Kim."

"B–but that's not it!" I suddenly exclaimed and lurched forward, feeling the heat of everyone's stare on our embraced hands, which in turn only made me grip him even harder for support. "Dr. Kim, you have to believe me when I tell you that Professor Lee has worked hard to make my life a living hell ever since I got to this school. She had a vendetta against me; she's in love with Yoongi, and so she–"

"That's not true!" Professor Lee screeched.

"She worked to turn people against us rather than coming to you because she wanted to blackmail Yoongi into being with her," I ignored her interjection and continued. "She even made a seminar about it—the mandatory seminar that everyone attended today!"

The dean turned his attention towards her. "The seminar about the importance of practicing safe sex?" He questioned in bewilderment.

My eyes practically bulged out of my head at his words; that's what she was telling everyone it was about?

"It was!" She scrambled in defense. "I mean I... I may have brought up Yoongi and Y/N as an example, but that's only because they fit the part! Y/N had a pregnancy scare not too long ago, and I didn't want the same thing to happen to our students!"

I felt the color draining from my face, blanching it a stone cold white and decimating any feeling I had left in my body.

How the fuck did she know about the pregnancy?

My head instantly whipped towards Yoongi to see if he had any logical explanation for this, and his face was as poised and stoic as ever in front of his two colleagues—but I could see through it. I knew him well enough to catch onto the slightest falter in his blinking, the increase in heat that collected between our palms, the small twitch of his mouth that would've gone unnoticed by anyone else who observed him. I knew there was no way he could've told Professor Lee about the pregnancy, because he was just as blindsided as I was.

Dr. Kim simply raised his eyebrows in interest before turning back to Yoongi and me.

"Dr. Kim," Yoongi spoke, his voice dripping with amusement, "I mean no disrespect, but do you honestly think that if Y/N had a pregnancy scare, we would tell Sara about it? Come on; not after all she did to us."

"They—they didn't tell me!" Professor Lee huffed out a desperate breath. "I overheard them while I was–"

"While you were what?" I interrupted with a raise of my eyebrow. "While you were spying on us to find any blackmail you could use on Yoongi?"

"N–no!" She stuttered, though at this point it was obvious that she was making up lies on the spot. "While I was walking past the classroom!"

"Why would we be talking about that with the door open?!"

"Enough!" Dr. Kim barked, his deep voice rumbling throughout the small office. We all grew silent as we turned our attention to him. "There will be no arguing of he said/she said in my office," he scolded, then turned his attention to Yoongi before speaking. "I understand that there was someone you wanted me to see?"

Yoongi, who had remained calm during all of this, simply nodded his head before releasing my hand. "Yes, sir," he said as he stood up and walked towards the door.

My eyebrows were knitted in confusion as I watched it all transpire: the words exchanged between the two men, Yoongi rising out of his seat, the sight of my biology professor being revealed behind the closed door. The whole thing came as a surprise to me, and my emotions seemed to be having a war between the shock and relief that I felt raging like a storm in the pit of my stomach.

Why didn't Yoongi tell me about Professor Park being involved in this discussion? When did he have time to ask her to come? Did it even matter at this point?

"Professor Park," Dr. Kim widened his eyes, his frame physically reclining back in his seat. "I'm surprised to see you here."

"As am I to be here," she smiled though her voice was venomous, eyes flashing to a very alarmed Professor Lee.

"Mia?!" The woman barked in disbelief at her friend's entrance. "What are you doing here?"

"Something I should've done a long time ago," Professor Park replied, and with that she turned towards the dean and opened her mouth to speak.

"I'm here to testify on the behalf of Min Yoongi and Y/N."

Earth-shattering elation rippled through me from the inside out, starting at the base of my toes and spiraling to the top of my head and the tips of my fingers, causing them to tingle and buzz with a newfound sense of hope. We might actually have a chance!

"What?!" Professor Lee's voice ripped through the air in a deafening screech. "This isn't a court case! You don't get to play witness!"

"Actually, if Professor Park has witnessed anything, I would definitely like to know," Dr. Kim chimed in, raising an eyebrow towards my biology professor.

Professor Park nodded her head towards him in appreciation before speaking. "A few months ago Sara approached me in my classroom to tell me about the nasty rumors that were surrounding her and a student. She singled the student out, saying to purposely damage their grades because they were treating her unfairly and disrespecting her rules and authority as a professor; she even went so far as to say that they were sending her death threats"

"What?!" The word ripped from my throat faster than I could blink as I stared jaw-dropped at the women in the room.

"That's not true!" Professor Lee instantly protested as expected. "Sir, I can assure you that I never–"

"I have the text messages if you want," Professor Park offered in a tone so nonchalant one would've thought she was conversing about the weather.

Dr. Kim raised an eyebrow. "Text messages? I thought you said she came by your class?"

"She did, sir." Mia interlaced her fingers in front of her and bowed her head politely. "We spoke about it on multiple occasions. I asked why she wouldn't just go to you, or even the authorities if the student was making death threats, but Sara was adamant. She didn't want any scandals revolving around her so that she could maintain the level of professionalism that she had developed here."

I heard a snort coming from next to me, and it was with a swollen heart of pride that I realized the sound came from Yoongi trying to hold in a laugh.

Professionalism? Her? I had never heard anything so far fetched in my life.

Sara simply glared as Mia ignored him and continued. "She assured me that the best way to deal with this pesky student was to slowly start to fail them, and I'll admit, I was angry for her. Sara was my friend, and I respected her enough to believe what she was telling me and follow her requests." She turned her head to where I sat on the other side of Yoongi. "That student was you, Y/N. And I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for the way I handled things. You were treated unfairly and poorly due to false information."

"It wasn't false!" Professor Lee jumped in to defend herself, but everyone was pretty much ignoring her. Even the dean could tell she was playing the part of the boy who cried wolf at this point.

"I'd like to see those text messages, if you don't mind." Dr. Kim reached his hand out expectantly.

There was a brief moment of silence while Professor Park nodded and tapped away on her phone before handing it to him. His cold and calculated eyes scanned the screen while saying nothing, all three of us waiting with bated breath for him to come to a decision in his mind.

There was no where left for her to run. With these text messages, all the constant denying that Professor Lee has done will be proven false and she will be exposed for all the hell she's put me through this semester. My heart was practically bursting at the thought.

"Well I would've appreciated it if you ladies had come to me with this information instead of handling it amongst yourselves, true or not," Dr. Kim finally sighed before giving Sara his full attention. "Ms. Lee, you have three people accusing you. Even if you didn't do it, there's obviously something that's turning them against you. And here at this university we strive to hold cooperation and communication above all else. If you don't get along with the fellow staff here, then why should I believe that they're the problem and not you?"

"Um, because Min Yoongi is fucking his student?!" Professor Lee was fuming now, her upper body lurching forward in her seat and her hands gripping the arm rests for dear life. "He literally just admitted to it!"

"Language, Ms. Lee," Dr. Kim scolded calmly. "I still like to maintain a professional attitude here in my office."

"I apologize sir, but that's beside the point." She was sitting back in her seat now, though her tone was no less frantic. "Min Yoongi is in a relationship with his student, and staff cooperation or not, I don't really think that's in the teacher handbook." She raised a snarky eyebrow at us as if believing that she had finally won.

I knitted my eyebrows, my palms feeling slick with a nervous sweat against Yoongi's as I realized the bigger problem here. It wasn't whatever lies and schemes Professor Lee had cooked up with my biology teacher; it wasn't even Professor Lee herself. It was the fact that Yoongi and I were in a relationship, and that was going to have enough consequences alone to shake me to my very core with fear.

"She's right," Dr. Kim uttered the words that I was silently hoping he wouldn't say, my grip tightening on Yoongi as I anticipated whatever outcome he's decided. Our fate was in his hands.

"Of course I am." Professor Lee crossed her arms and sat back in her seat with a smug grin.

"I'm afraid I have no choice." He was shaking his head, frowning at us apologetically though the sentiment didn't reach his eyes. "Mr. Min, I am sorry to inform you that you will have to be forced to resign from our university."

The color instantly drained from my face, and with it pulling all five senses that I have into the depths of the earth until I couldn't see, couldn't hear, couldn't speak—I could barely even breathe. There was a lump that was forming in my throat and settling deep within my gut, all of this feeling fake, too fake to be real.

Yoongi was fired, and it was all because of me.

"I understand, sir."

It was Yoongi's words that were pulling me from my fog of disbelief and devastation, my eyes blinking in an effort to snap back to reality as I looked from him to the dean. "No. No, there has to be something we can do, please!" I begged, my voice starting to get frantic the more the severity of the situation hit me. "I–I'll drop out! You don't have to worry about me ever coming near here again, just please, please don't fire him!"

"Y/N..." Yoongi's voice was quiet and full of resignation, defeat, but I wasn't giving up.

"Yoongi is an amazing professor who has worked here for, what, two years? He's extraordinary at what he does and students love him. It's not easy to find a professor like that everyday." I was staring into the eyes of the dean now, trying to move him with my words. "You shouldn't throw away someone as great as him just because of some stupid 18 year old's mistake! Please, Dr Kim." I leaned forward in my seat, the room silent as I spoke. "He wouldn't be in this situation if it weren't for me. Please, let me suffer the consequences, not him."

I continued to stare in Dr. Kim's eyes, silently channeling my emotions through the pleading expression in my eyes, and it wasn't until I felt a comforting hand on my back that I was instantly drawn away into a more calm state in my chair. I gazed over at the owner of the hand, and he flashed back that smile I loved except it was sad, and it didn't reach his eyes, and I could tell there was so much he wanted to say to me right now if we weren't in the confinement of his boss' office.

"I understand your efforts, Y/N, but there's nothing I can do." Dr. Kim shook his head, and it was as if the world around me was shattering into blades of glass, scraping at my skin and leaving bloody wounds that I knew would never heal. "Mr. Min was involved in this relationship as well, and no matter whose fault it is, the professor needs to be held accountable. There is a level of professionalism and maturity that he must possess in order to work here; he's your superior, a respectable authority figure, and so he should've known better."

It was all I could do to keep from crying as I lowered my eyes and shook my head, every inch of my heart breaking for Yoongi until all that was left were tiny fragments to scatter in the wind. I couldn't believe I'd done this to him. The very thing he'd been worried about from the start—I had ruined his career.

"It is our goal as a university to see our students succeed," he continued, though I could barely hear a thing. "As for you, Y/N, I see no reason as to why you shouldn't keep attending this university."

I blinked a few times, confused. "You want me to... what?"

"You will have a suspension on your student records, mind you, and one more of those will lead to expulsion," he explained. "Though that doesn't mean that you can't keep going to school here. You will have to meet with an advisor every two weeks, though, who will be keeping a close watch on your behavior."

I could barely even believe my ears; had my hearing been completely lost due to the shock of the situation? "That's totally a double standard!" I gestured to Yoongi in disbelief.

"Y/N, it's okay..." Yoongi tried to calm me down.

"No, it's not okay!" I roared, eyes wide and brows furrowed in disbelief as I glanced at him before turning back to the dean. "Where do you think you can get off by treating people like this? This is his career—his life!"

"That will be enough from you, Ms. Y/N," Dr. Kim bellowed in a stern voice as he frowned. "I'm doing you a favor here by letting you continue your education. Speak out against me one more time and I will be revoking that offer."

His words were deafening throughout the office; it was suddenly understandable why he was so feared by those who worked under him. Yoongi started to run his hand along my spine in a soothing manner, and though it helped relax my fiery nerves and clear my foggy mind, I was still just as upset—if not more, now that the information was beginning to settle in.

"So that's it then?" Professor Lee spoke for the first time in a while, her lips pressed into a firm line, obviously disappointed by the turn of events though she didn't dare to speak out against Dr. Kim as he had warned. "Yoongi gets fired and Y/N gets a free ride?"

"Not so fast, Ms. Lee." The dean turned to her. "What you did was beyond unprofessional. You violated several school policies as well as bullied a student! Do you think that type of behavior is acceptable as a professor?"

Professor Lee opened her mouth as if to protest before slowly shutting it again, realizing that she had nothing left that she hadn't already denied. It was obvious that the evidence given to him by Professor Park, who stood silent in the corner of the room, was incriminating enough to sway his decision.

"I'm sorry to have to inform you that you will be fired as well."

"What?!" Her shrill voice screeched through the air, tearing whatever I had left of my eardrums and rendering me deaf here in this office. "What I did was no where near as bad as Yoongi and Y/N!"

"If anything, it was worse." Dr. Kim folded his hands over his desk. "Let's not forget that you managed to involve the entire student body in a false seminar that maliciously exposed one of our students and professors," he raised an eyebrow at her, "and that was just today."

"Yeah, not to mention all the other shit you did behind my back to make my life a living hell," I couldn't help from interjecting in a heated tone, though I backed off upon seeing the dean's stern gaze.

He redirected his attention back to Sara. "Here at this university, we strive to have a professional relationship, safe environment, and healthy lifestyle for our students. Neither of you achieved those three goals, so both of you will have to be let go."

Yoongi's expression simply remained placid and free of any emotion while Professor Lee's reaction was practically visceral, though neither spoke a word as heavy silence fell over the small office.

"Am I... am I still needed, sir?" It was Professor Park whose voice broke through the tension, everyone having forgotten she was there in the midst of the emotion-filled chaos. "Because if not, then I'm going to go."

"No, I'm just about finished here." Dr. Kim let out a sigh, as if what just transpired had been hard on him out of all people in the room. My blood boiled just looking at him, though I know I had to learn when to speak out and when to bite my tongue as Yoongi had taught me.

"Dr. Kim, is there any way you can reconsi–"

"That will be enough from you, Ms. Lee," his booming voice interrupted the frantic professor. "I've said all that I need to say on the matter. I'm not changing my mind."

"Dr. Kim?" I spoke up just as Professor Lee and Professor Park were getting ready to walk out the door. "I–I have something else to tell you. Un-related to this," I threw in when I saw him throw a glance in Lee's direction.

The man sighed before waving them out, leaving his office empty of visitors other than me and Yoongi in the chairs. I wasn't going to let that boy go anywhere.

"Y/N, I'm sorry that the outcome isn't exactly what you wanted but I'm afraid there's nothing I can–"

"Choi Junwoo tried to rape me," I blurted out.

There was a moment's pause as the dean was stunned silent with wide eyes, and out of my peripheral vision I could see Yoongi tense up and inhale sharply next to me.

"W–what–"

"Choi Junwoo," I spoke slowly for him so that he'd understand, "a student here at this university, tried to rape me at a frat party."

I couldn't leave the office without saying it. I couldn't leave the office without telling him. This wasn't just about me or the turmoil or trauma he caused; this was for every other girl in the future who might be a victim of Jun. Though in my heart I truthfully believed he was a good person, and that he really was just intoxicated beyond belief that night, it was still no excuse. If he had rape-tendencies while he was drunk and I didn't speak out about it, then I would be no better when it came to helping other sexual assault victims.

"Are you sure–"

"I found them at the party while he was mid-act," Yoongi jumped in, probably figuring he was already fired so there was nothing left for him to lose when it came to revealing details about our relationship outside of school. "It was... disgusting. I got her out of there immediately, but not before punching that bastard in the face."

"Metaphorically, of course!" I couldn't help but chime in, not wanting an assault charge to be on his record as well.

Thankfully Dr. Kim simply brushed off that minuet detail in favor for the more important issue at hand. "Y/N, what you're telling me will ruin this student's future. Are you absolutely sure you want to file this?"

Despite the anger that swelled up inside of me from him questioning my accusation, I still couldn't help the little trickle of doubt that crept in as I considered his words. At one point, Jun had been a friend... maybe even a potential lover had Yoongi not been in the picture. Dr. Kim was right, this information could potentially ruin his reputation, his education, his record... was I ready to carry the weight of knowledge that I've ruined someone's life forever?

"What are you talking about? Of course!" Yoongi spat an answer before I even had a chance to finish my thoughts. "She told you what happened, didn't she? Why would she speak out about something like this if she was making it up?"

"Maybe a personal vendetta?" The dean shrugged his shoulders. "People will do crazy things for revenge."

Now that got me heated. "The only one who wanted revenge here was Junwoo!" I stood up from my seat to yell. "He liked me and was mad that I turned him down. As if I owed my feelings to him or something! And when I told him no, he forced himself on me?! Is that really the type of message you want to send at this college? You know, since you're so high and mighty on "cooperation"," I did air quotes of sarcasm around my last words, my ears practically steaming with boiling rage.

"We will come out about this story, by the way," Yoongi added in, his voice full of venom. "And how will that look if you tried to keep us silent?"

"You can forget about me attending this university," I hissed.

"Alright, alright, settle down, the both of you," Dr. Kim lowered his hands in a calming manner. "I was not suggesting I buy your silence or anything of that nature. I was simply making sure you wanted to go through with this."

"Yes," Yoongi and I both answered in unison.

The dean nodded his head before clasping his hands together. "Alright."

The rest of the time in the office with spent filling on paperwork on a claim against Junwoo. I'd been given the option to be kept in the loop or even present when everything went down, though I politely declined. I wanted nothing more to do with that boy.

Though it would seem Professor Lee didn't share the same sentiment when it came to me, because as soon as soon as the two of us walked hand in hand into the hallway and Dr. Kim's door was securely shut, she sprung into action.

"You bitch!" She shrieked, not wasting another second as she leaped through the air and onto my body like a crouched tiger that was waiting for the right moment to attack. I felt the pressure of her weight against my chest and the sting of her nails scraping against my cheek, and before I knew it I was stumbling down, down onto the ground with another vicious blow to my jaw that was accompanied by her fist.

It all happened within a matter of seconds, but it wasn't long until I heard Yoongi yell Sara! and then her weight vanished just as quickly as it had appeared.

All I could do was stare with wide eyes as Yoongi slammed her shoulders back against the wall, though it was the look in his eyes that caught my attention. I had seen that expression before.

He was about to throw a punch.

"Yoongi, stop!" I cried, summoning all the strength I possessed to push myself to my feet and stumble over to the pair.

Yoongi whipped his head towards me with exasperated, almost wild eyes and his brows knitted in confusion and disbelief. "Y/N, she attacked you!"

"She isn't worth it," I spoke firmly in an attempt to get through to him. "Yoongi, just let it go. She isn't worth the trouble anymore."

It was when I placed a soothing hand against his back that Yoongi finally sighed, his stance visibly relaxing and his hands dropping from Professor Lee's shoulders. "She's right," he spit in a low, venomous tone as he turned back to her and grit his teeth. "Thanks to Dr. Kim, you already got what you deserve."

"Yoongi," there were sudden sobs that were tearing through the hallway, and it took me a moment to realize that Professor Lee was now... crying.

"Yoongi," she continued as she clung onto his shoulders. "Yoongi, I loved you!"

Somewhere deep inside of me, past all the burning hatred for what this woman has done to my life out of pure jealousy, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of sympathy for her. This was once me, heartbroken over the effects of unrequited love. Yoongi was a very sought-after man, I'd come to realize, and it wasn't about my feelings or Professor Lee's or anyone else's. It was about his.

"Sara," Yoongi sighed, and there was almost a wince in his tone from how hard he was trying to make her understand. "It's over."

"W–what?" The woman was scrambling now. "It doesn't have to be! We can go back to the way things were–"

"There never was a ‘we’!" He ripped her hands from his shoulders. "We were friends, and then you sabotaged my career and Y/N's education. You never once spoke out about your feelings, came forward, handled things like adults," he stressed the last line. "You never once did any of those things! Instead you belittled another woman and cost yourself your job all for a man—someone who until now, was your friend." Yoongi sighed again and shook his head. "I hope you get the help you need, Sara. I'm sure there is someone out there who will love you unconditionally... but that person is not me."

And with that, he put a gentle hand on my back and we walked away.

“Oh my god.”

Those were the first words out of my mouth the second we exited the building, my hands resting on my head in disbelief as I turned to Yoongi. “Holy shit, Yoongi–“

“Shhh,” he instantly consoled me, his arms engulfing me in a comforting hug and my face tucking underneath his chin as he held me close. “We did it, Y/N. It’s all over.”

I stayed in his embrace for a few moments as his words sunk in. It was all over. No more secrets, no more Professor Lee—no more anything.

“B–but your job...” I pulled away to look up at him with a shaky tone, my brows furrowed in concern. “Dr. Kim fired you, he–“

“I resigned, Y/N. There’s a difference.”

“Is there?” I couldn’t help but look up at him with a hopeless expression.

Yoongi simply nodded his head, the picture of nonchalance as if his career hadn’t just changed forever. “Yes. If I had gotten fired, it would look terrible on my resumé should I apply for another teaching position. However, given the circumstances of our arrangement...” he paused, no doubt thinking of Professor Lee, “I suppose he decided to take it easy on us all.”

My shoulders deflated in relief. “Well thank god for that...” I sighed, not even wanting to think of what could’ve happened if Dr. Kim had given us the harshest punishment. In an ironic, twisted way, I suppose I have Professor Lee to thank for that. If she wouldn’t have made my life a living hell, it would’ve been that much worse if Dr. Kim ever found out on his own.

“But none of that even matters to me right now,” Yoongi suddenly snapped, and then in the time it took me to raise an questioning eyebrow he had already grabbed both sides of my face and rammed his lips into mine, the same as he did before we went inside to confront Professor Lee.

Only this time, the kiss was different. It didn’t hold promises and potential; it held freedom. It held the success of finally getting through everything by the skin of our teeth, the relief and the pride and the pure love that we have for each other after overcoming everything that we’ve been through together. I kissed him and I didn’t care who saw—because he wasn’t my professor anymore. There were no invisible chains that bounded us apart. It was just me and him sticking together against all odds. Never in my life did I think I would ever be a part of a relationship so committed, so passionate, so determined. He and I would never stop fighting for each other.

“I love you, Min Yoongi,” I murmured against his mouth with a grin on my features that was hard to disguise—especially when I felt the corners of his lips pull up into that gummy smile that I adored with all of my heart.

“God, I love you too, Y/N,” he replied back with a content sigh, and then he continued to kiss me on the busy campus sidewalk until we were both breathless and blue in the face.

Because we now had nothing to lose.

Despite finally being released from the clutches that school had on us, the days following the meeting with Dr. Kim were not easy.

Other than having to put on a fake smile and continue attending a university where practically everyone knew about my relationship with now-former Professor Min (my mother would never let me drop out—not that I could ever tell her the reason I'd want to, anyways), there were the stresses that Yoongi was dealing with of now being unemployed. And what with all but abandoning my dorm room to instead spend my nights with him at his apartment, it was impossible to not feel the weight of his problems on my shoulders as well. No matter how many times Yoongi tried to put up a façade and reassure me that he was okay, I couldn't help but feel like this was my fault.

"If I just never would've made you dance with me at that club..." I'd say at times, unable to keep from tracing back each and every one of our interactions and blaming myself.

"Cut that out," Yoongi would snap.

"What? It's true!"

"You know I don't like it when you talk like that!" He'd turn to me with a stern tone. "I don't regret anything that happened between us, okay? Not one single bit." There was a heavy silence as his words would hang in the air. "If you wouldn't have asked me to dance, then who knows if I ever would've worked up the courage to kiss you? And I wouldn't be here, sharing this bed with the love of my life."

"Aw, Yoongi..."

And the two of us would make love, again and again until we'd have a similar argument some time later and repeat the whole process all over again. I'd feel guilty, Yoongi would remind me of exactly how much he doesn't regret meeting me, and we'd get lost in each other's embrace.

That is, until a simple Sunday morning suddenly changed everything.

"I got it."

I casually peered over at the sound of him from my spot in the living room, sitting criss crossed on the couch in my pajamas with a laptop in my lap. "What?"

"The job." Yoongi's voice was low, serious as he stared at the paper in his hands that had previously been so carelessly disregarded on the kitchen island along with the Sunday paper. "At the university in Seoul."

"Wait." He had all of my attention now as I sat the laptop on the coffee table and rose to my feet. "Like the Seoul National University university?"

"Yeah," he let out a single chuckle of disbelief before he pressed the paper against the counter and turned to me. "I got the job."

"Oh my god, Yoongi!" I exclaimed with my own chuckle of disbelief before running forward and wrapping my arms around his neck. His arms immediately engulfed my waist and lifted me off the ground as we spun around in place, my lips instantly finding his in a searing kiss that was full of passion and excitement to match our current mood. "That's amazing!"

"I know," he replied as he placed me down. A tentative smile was frozen on his lips as he stared off into the distance before letting out another sound of disbelief, his head shaking before his palm slid down his face. "I can't believe it!"

"I'm so proud of you!" I mirrored the grin of pure elation on his features, my chest swelling with joy and relief and most of all, pride.

I was so, so proud of Yoongi. I knew how much his job meant to him, and the feeling of guilt that weighed down on me from knowing that I was the one who inadvertently took that away from him, that I was the one who inadvertently caused all this stress of job hunting was instantly lifted off my shoulders. I knew how much he wanted this. I knew how hard he had worked to get this job at such a prestigious school, and god damn it, I knew how much he deserved it. If Yoongi was anything, apart from being an amazing person and a wonderful lover, he was great at his job. He was a natural born teacher.

Though no matter how many times I've willingly showered him with endless compliments about his work, he'd blush sheepishly and simply swat away all of my words with a simple kiss, or an "if you don't shut up your food is going to get cold. We're unemployed now; we need all the nutrition we can get. Haven't you ever heard of the Great Depression?"

So instead, I just chose to beam at him while he basked in the euphoria of the moment that this job acceptance brought on. After all, I knew he was well aware of how proud of him I was and how supportive I'd always be when it came to anything he wanted to accomplish.

Though the bliss was short lived.

I watched as Yoongi's expression slowly fell, the smile on his face slipping into a deep frown and his eyes turning to stone. "No."

"What?" I furrowed my brows, concern filling me and etching onto my features as I cupped his cheek in my hand, trying to figure out why his mood had changed so suddenly. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not taking it." His tone was cold, definitive, as if the subject wasn't even up for debate as he grabbed the letter.

"Wait wait wait," I hurried to stop him from tearing it in half. "What are you talking about? Why not?"

He turned to look at me with cold, incredulous eyes, as if he couldn't believe I was even asking a question so stupid. "The university is in Seoul, Y/N."

"Okay...?" I shook my head in confusion, still not understanding what the issue was. "And?"

"I'd have to move." He was taking the paper back out of my hands and ripping it right down the middle before I got the chance to stop him.

I suddenly deflated, the severity of his words dropping in my stomach and wrapping around the anchor of my heart, sending it down, down, down through the floor of his apartment and hurdling towards the center of the earth.

"...What?"

"I'd have to move away from you."

And there is was, the bomb detonating an explosion and demolishing whatever was left of my heart.

"No... t–there has to be another way, there has to–"

"Seoul is hours away from here, Y/N," Yoongi barked out, his tone angry and harsh as it always was when he was upset. "It's on the other side of the country; there's no way I'd be able to commute without living there."

"Okay, so why did you apply then?" I couldn't help but snap back defensively. "You knew the distance to Seoul prior to applying for the job. Why even bother if you're just going to get pissed about not taking it?!"

"Because I didn't think I'd get accepted!" His voice was loud, almost yelling now. "It's the most sought after, prestigious school in the fucking country and I didn't think some young idiot who got fired from his last job would be able to get in!"

It was silent as his words settled over the atmosphere, clinging to the air that filled the room around us and encasing my lungs until it was impossible to breathe.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I finally hissed. "You're a great teacher, and you know it. If anyone's a young idiot here, it's me!"

Yoongi scoffed with a shake of his head. "I'm the one who kissed you again during that tutoring session after telling you to stay away. I'm the one who fucked you against that desk." His tone was low now, and his eyes seemed to grow harder in realization with each step that he took towards me. "I'm the one who asked to take you out on that fucking date and I'm the one who pulled you onto my lap when Sara caught us in my classroom! God damn it, I'm the one who tracked you down at a fucking frat party and punched one of my students!"

His voice slowly raised until he was yelling again, and if it weren’t for the fact that he was now standing chest to chest and cornering me up against the countertop of the island, I would've winced at the loud volume so close to my ears.

"Stop blaming yourself, Y/N, when I'm the one who was the authority figure. I'm the one who should've had my shit together, but I just couldn't around you!"

I felt myself soften at that. As angry and intimidating as he seemed right now, surely frightening whoever would come into contact with him when he was like this, I knew that it was all a front. Yoongi wasn't the best at dealing with emotional situations—he'd all but bite my head off any time I even tried to mention his father—and sometimes lashed out in anger when he was upset or hurting inside. I knew how badly he wanted this job; I could see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice when he'd first submitted the application. And now, when the career position of his dreams was finally right under his nose, he couldn't have it. Because I was holding him back.

"You have to take it." My voice was solemn and steady as I stared him in the eyes.

He instantly frowned. "What? No, I–"

"Yoongi."

He fell silent, all signs of anger and malice wiped from his features once he saw just how serious I was being. A soft, bittersweet smile that had nothing to do with happiness slowly tugged at my lips as my eyes gleamed with pain. My heart was breaking with every word I was speaking, but I knew it was something I needed to do.

"You have to take the job."

The silence that ensued my words only further proved my point, simultaneously stabbing a knife into my chest with each passing second. He knew I was right. He knew it. He just didn't want to hear it.

"You don't..." He sounded smaller, more pitiful and confused as he tried to make sense of what I was saying. "You don't want me to stay?"

The hurt, the sadness, the utter hopelessness in his voice absolutely crushed me. I couldn't help but fall into his embrace, wrapping my arms around his chest and squeezing tightly as if I could somehow hold the pieces of him together that I knew were breaking. The severity of what was happening, of what I was doing started to settle within me the moment I heard his voice break.

"I do, baby," I replied, the sound muffled by the skin of his neck that my face was buried in as a sob threatened to claw its way out of my throat and swallow me whole. "God, you know I do. But you can't."

"Y–you can come with me." He was shaking his head now, his hands gripping at the shirt on my back with closed fists while he desperately tried to hold onto me, as if I would disappear beneath him at any moment. "We can move together to Seoul and you can–"

"You know I can't, Yoongi." It was my turn to shake my head, and with it came a heavy tear that fell down my cheek. "I have to go to school. I have a family who's helping pay for my tuition, and my mom— you know it's not all up to me."

I heard him sniffle as he pulled away, and even though I felt no evidence of tears from him against my skin or my shirt, his eyes were bright red when he stared back at me.

"I'm not leaving you, Y/N."

The sheer determination in his voice had me shattering like broken glass. "I'm not letting you do this, Yoongi. I'm not letting you waste this opportunity. Do you know how many people are waiting to work at Seoul University? How many professors would kill to be in your position?" I kept my gaze steadily on his as I slowly shook my head. "I care about you... so fucking much. I've never loved someone so much before... not like this." I paused, asking myself one last time if this was really the decision I wanted to make as my words settled in. I took in the sight of his beautiful, breathtaking features silently begging me not to do this. "I'm putting you above my selfishness," I finally decided with another shake of my head. "You need to do this Yoongi, for you. You know you do."

Yoongi slowly shook his head, though the expression on his face told me he knew I was right. "I don't want to lose you," he spoke as a tear spilled over the brim of his eye, dampening his lashes and leaving a wet streak in its wake as it rolled down his cheek, and the sight was the final breaking point that had me bursting into tears.

"Neither do I."

His fingers dug into my skin as he tightened his grip on my body, his forehead leaning against mine as the only sounds exchanged between the two of us were the unspoken words of labored breaths and soft sobs.

Sometimes when you love someone, you have to do what's best for them.

And I knew this was what's best for Yoongi.

#yoongi fanfic #yoongi x reader #yoongi smut #bts fanfic #bts smut #lmao why am i so impulsive #i decided i was gonna post this all of ten minutes ago and here we are #anyways this will help my peace of mind to know that at least SOMETHING is out there #some sort of closure to the series #not everything i had planned but #it'll do for now #i hope u guys can forgive me for whatever tf this is fjshgdkfd

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