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bonesandthebees · 2 years ago

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Ranboo.

Oh, fucking hell, Ranboo

I laughed my ass off reading Ranboo trying to lie to Wilbur in ch24. I know that scene wasn't meant to be funny, but it's like- I was laughing in the same way that people laugh at politicians. Ranboo really reminds me of a centrist politician. Trying desperately to please the people in power while becoming just another cog in the machine

It's like schadenfreude, watching him trying to be a good spy. Here's another character Ranboo reminds me of: Evan from Dear Evan Hansen. I don't know how much you care/know about musical theater, so I'll just say that I mean that in a /neg way

I say all of this, loving how you wrote him. He's an excellent twist antagonist, I love him on a meta perspective/I love reading scenes with him. I love to hate him, you know?

What he did to Tommy is so messed up.

That line about how Tommy feels more betrayed by Ranboo than by Tubbo really makes sense. It tracks with what I was thinking last chapter. Tubbo and Ranboo both betrayed Tommy but Tubbo is so much more sympathetic because of the circumstances, and Tommy knows that

Then there's how Wilbur feels about Ranboo. Like he's sickened by him. The vast majority of Wilbur's hatred is because of what Ranboo did to Tommy, but I want to mention what other effects Ranboo's betrayal has. Because it ramifies into the rest of Wilbur and Tommy's lives. They cannot trust anyone else because of Ranboo. Wilbur cannot accept Phil's mentorship offer because of Ranbo. They cannot make a deal with the empire because of Ranboo. Of course, this line of thinking is illogical, because Ranboo's been spying this entire time, nothing has changed. But from Wilbur and Tommy's perspectives, their entire lives have been rocked, because Ranboo lied to them

Congratulations Ranboo! Say Wilbur and Tommy do make it off the planet. Then Ranboo's just ruined his mentor's plans! Of course, a lot of the blame does go to Techno and Phil themselves

Oh Ranboo, I hate you so much, but I love how you've made the story so thrilling

- 🔥

LMAOOOO it's ok I was laughing a bit while writing that scene. stars!ranboo is literally a spineless centrist. he's trying to convince himself he's helping and doing what he should while still doing everything he can to please the people in power for his own benefit. i know nothing about dear evan hansen except for the memes about ben platt trying to play a high schooler in the movie but i'll take your word for it

aaa thank you! I had so much fun writing ranboo this entire fic. every single bit of dialogue I had him say was written with double intentions behind it, which made it so fun to come up with the conversations he had with others.

tubbo is WAY more sympathetic than ranboo. tbh, tubbo was put in a pretty impossible position, being ordered by the reigning monarch to participate in a coup and betray his best friend. he couldn't just say no. sure, he could've done more to try and warn them, but he thought this was the easiest way to do things. he thought it would keep tommy and wilbur from getting hurt, because he was told they'd just be exiled. it wasn't ideal, but the invasion was going to happen either way, so why not try to make it easier on them?

tubbo was genuinely tommy's friend. ranboo was ordered to be his friend to get information from him. the situations are vastly different.

ranboo's betrayal has turned everything the brothers thought they knew on zephys iv on its head. because of ranboo, EVERYTHING has been screwed up. and ranboo doesn't even get it. he doesn't understand the weight of what he's done.

the ranboo twist and the ramifications of it have been SO fun for me to write and i'm so glad you guys are just as enthralled with it as i am

#ask #flame anon #the stars and their children

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eury--dice · 3 years ago

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oooh the ellison theater and/or friendship for the ask game?

OOOOH ELLE you are letting me talk about one of wips that will unfortunately probably never get completed/published but is SO near and dear to my heart. the ellison theater is an au I dreamed up...two years ago at this point? where our beloved cast of deh characters are working in a small blackbox theater in New York in the process of putting on a new original musical titled on the fall. I found the idea of evan struggling so much with most public speaking and performance but just having mt/theater in his veins so captivating, and I thought exploring the idea of him writing and performing in this musical would be very fun. and it very much is! as I said, this is very near and dear to my heart. zoe’s the pov character, as someone who’s on the verge of a breakout role and broadway career but turns it down to work with the ellison crew instead. various zoevan and theater shenanigans ensue. (fun fact: I wrote a whole plot for the musical as well, and mocked up some lyrics for the songs. I have a blast with this fic, truly.) I'm posting...much more than a snippet because, as I've said, I probably won’t post it but I do truly enjoy and love it. thank you Elle <3

Something about the Ellison reminds her of home.

She’s barely set foot into the building that’s nestled on the corner of a block when nostalgia sweeps over her. It’s a feeling she gets every time she enters a theater, no matter how many she’s been in. There’s a kind of magic in each one, no matter what type of theater it is - the knowledge that, within these walls, there’s the possibility for change and growth and transportation to somewhere far away. But this theater strikes her differently than most do. With a building career, the majority of performance spaces she’s seen since graduating are bigger, swankier, dripping with New York theater elitism. She’d nearly forgotten what thrill black box theaters hold, the intimacy of their darkened walls and cramped seats.

The house begins immediately as she steps through the doors with a small area she assumes is reserved for standing room and a small hallway off the side with a bathroom sign hanging in the entrance. The seats branch off diagonally to accommodate the elevated, triangular stage in lieu of the normal black box even-floor stage or raised seating. The front row is so close to the stage that they’d probably be able to reach forward and rest their palms flat against the black-painted stage. The house lights are only half on, leaving Zoe squinting through the dim air and to the stage, where only a few blue gel lights illuminate anything. They leave the whole theater bathed in a faint blue glow and catch on the bowed head of someone sitting in the front row.

It’s all perfectly homey, but she knows she shouldn’t get too attached too soon. Instead, she scuffs the toe of her converse sneaker into the carpeted ground for a moment before turning her attention to the man in the front row. Zoe sees him more clearly as she nears the front of the theater. The spillage from the stage lights cast all of him in a blue shine. The blue nestles in between the strands of his close-cut, tiny curls, and slides along with his hands over a pencil and something that looks like a script.

“Evan Hansen?” she says three rows back, still standing in the center aisle. He visibly startles, the pencil slipping from his grasp and hitting the pages with a tiny thud. Twisting so as to look at her, he hurriedly removes a pair of glasses she hadn’t been able to see before. His eyes find hers, deep brown and gentle like a night sky, before they break away.

“Yeah, yep, Evan. Hansen. That’s me.” He stands while dumping a pile of papers onto the seat next to himself, the motion rushed. Evan swipes his hands over his jeans and then holds his arms by his sides as though he’s grown used to constantly carrying something and is not used to the free space. “Zoe Murphy?”

She slants a smile in his direction. “That’d be me.”

Normally, she’d be much more articulate and particular with her word choice. She’d also be wearing something other than a doodled-on pair of jeans and a t-shirt she got from Forever 21 for four dollars. But it’s been clear to her from the moment she walked into the Ellison - and from when Jared texted her about the part - that this would be nothing like a normal audition. And last-minute meetings don’t really lend themselves to impeccable outfits.

“Great, great, of course,” he says. His hands haven’t stopped moving since she disrupted him. They flit around the hem of his shirt as though looking for something to do. He reaches down to the stack of papers and rummages for a minute, seemingly searching for conversational words among the pages as well. He finds the words more quickly than whatever papers he searches for. “Um, I'm sorry this is on such short notice, well I know we had some communication before today but all the same quite last minute and-” he breaks off as he finally gathers the pages together, glancing towards a clock on the far wall. To himself, he mutters “Jared was supposed to be here by now.”

“It’s alright,” she replies, holding her hand out for the papers. Evan relinquishes them immediately, closing the gap between their outstretched arms and hands with a tiny step. “I’m used to Jared’s tardiness, I know it’s not you. I can wait if you’d prefer.”

“No,” he says, seeming to surprise himself with the word. “No, I mean. I’m sorry, we can absolutely wait for Jared to turn up if that’s more comfortable for you but it’s not, uh, necessary?” His voice lilts upwards at the last moment as though in question, and Zoe can’t help but think that it’s a nice sound.

“Sure,” she says. “I’m comfortable to start whenever.”

“Great,” he repeats. “Uh, that’s the scene-” he gestures to the papers in her hands “-and you can look over it if you’d like a refresher from what Jared sent earlier today. If you could just,” he cuts off, angling his head towards the stage and sinking back into his previous seat. She nods, flipping the pages over and skimming them as she walks. After scaling the short stairs along the side of the stage, she crosses to center, right in front of where Evan sits.

“So,” he continues after a pause. “You’re reading for the role of Alice - as I assume you know, of course.”

The corners of her lips quirk, but she doubts he sees. He’s bent back over his papers.

“I know this was extremely last minute, so you may not have prepared a song - and you also play guitar?”

She’s barely taken aback by the non sequitur. “Yes, although I don’t have one with me currently - I was walking from a shift, actually. I can sing a capella, although I didn’t prepare specifically for this audition.”

“No, of course. I know we have a guitar around here, probably in the back - there’s really not a pit, or any kind of music room, so we’re tight on space for instruments. What song were you...”

“Vanilla Ice Cream?”

He raises an eyebrow, but it seems more friendly than skeptical. “She Loves Me. A classic. Go ahead, whenever you’re ready.”

She has to hum through the refrain before she can begin. The acoustics in the theater are different from what she’s used to - not bad, not bad at all. But a little more naturally amplified and bouncy than she had been expecting. Zoe has this song down to a T, however. It was the first song she’d ever learned how to play with space on a stage with, something she’s grown more adept at as years pass. She knows that her 24-year-old version is quite different from her version more than ten years previously, but all the same, she can comfortably perform it in a completely new space.

Evan’s probably seen it in auditions a thousand times, of course, but he seems properly engaged, laughing at the right moments and smiling as she holds the high note towards the end.

“Fantastic,” he mutters, noting something on a fresh blank page in front of him.

“I suppose you’ll have to take me at my word for the guitar, though.”

“And Jared.”

“Of course. And the ever-elusive Jared.”

They lock eyes for half a second in the dim theater, eyes filled with amusement over a mutual friend although they’re strangers to each other. Evan clears his throat and looks back towards his notes.

“Right, sorry about him. If you’re ready, we could move on to…”

“Yeah. Yeah, of course,” Zoe says, retrieving her script from the edge of the stage, a previously uncharted sensation in the pit of her stomach.

#this is truly my baby. maybe someday I will complete it lol #deh #dear evan hansen #zoevan #zoe murphy #mutuals tag

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wildflowers-of-trolberg · 3 years ago

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How about a directors cut (if you haven’t already down them) for Get Out, YNMM, and uhhh… any wildflower fic of your choosing. And I supposed it would be neat to know if there’s anything I don’t know about Swim Until You Can’t See Land :3

Okie so:

Get Out I think I have talked about before? But I'll talk about it again, cause it is interesting - while a lot of the final fic's inspiration came from the song Good For You, from Dear Evan Hansen, which I initially connected to Hilda because I think it really fits her worst fears in the Runaway AU, it wasn't the origin point; it just provided a lot of the vibes for the nightmare scene. This entire fic actually exists specifically because of two things, the first being this fanart of Luz:

Which made me think about wanting to put Hilda in a similar amount of hurt; I actually directly referenced it for the description of Hilda right after her nightmare, and sent it to @sarasplenda (yes I know you sent the ask :)) as reference for the comic version of this fic.

Hilda was sitting up in bed, hunched over, the covers around her a crumpled mess of red fabric. She was outright sobbing; her mouth hung open, her face twisted with horrible pain, tears running in rivers down her face.

The second thing that inspired this fic was a meme, specifically this one:

I think the specific version I saw had Hilda saying "Terraria is just 2D Minecraft"; I know it's just for fun, but I just couldn't stop thinking about this, and about what it would be like if Johanna had actually reacted to that moment in the Stone Forest by kicking Hilda out. And once I had a thought about hurting Hilda, and a way to hurt her, the fic was inevitable.

Looking back, though, my feelings on Get Out aren't perfect. I don't hate any of my older works, but I think it's probably the weakest Wildflowers fic. That being said, there's really only one line in it I don;t like, and I can see why it's so beloved :))

You're Not My Mum was a weird one, because I think a lot of people have the order of events confused. I actually didn't come up with the idea after reading the Hilda tie-in novels; I came up with the idea after asking @walruses-hilda-variety-hour about his experience of them, because I'd already seen that one bit from Hilda and the Nowhere Space, and was worried about the books' portrayal of Johanna. When he said she was genuinely abusive, I started making plans, and I bought the first three novels specifically to reference for this project.

I didn't expect the situation to be even worse than Walrus had mentioned, but it was, and I ended up having much more to address than I planned. But I think the fic came out really well - the only thing it doesn't really get at is Novel Hilda has a tendency to sass her friends more than Show Hilda, but since Novel Hilda spends the whole thing distraught, and her friends really suck anyway, I don't think it really matters; if she does ever get a sequel where she interacts with David and Frida, and comes out of her shell a bit more, we'll see more of that side of her.

My final fun fact about YNMM is that it's technically not the first thing I made for this AU. That honour goes to this image:

Which is a fairly shonky edit of my mental image for Novel Johanna after losing her daughter (thanks to some comments I got on this, in my head she's now Norwegian Crime Drama Johanna).

I think you do already know everything about Swim Until You Can't See Land. I came up with the thing by combining two of the ideas your headcanons gave me (Summoning Sickness, a Wildflowers about dispelling the Tide Mice making Hilda sick, and Big Sister, a fic about Alfur using his nickname for Hilda and her having to ask Kaisa what it means - I might actually still have to write that, as a sequel to Swim...)

I will say that the final chapter is much longer than the others because my plans changed; originally, Chapter 4 would have ended with Hilda deciding to come back to shore, and then there would have been a separate Chapter 5 from either Alfur or Johanna's perspective, about the final reconcilliation. But I just never can get away from Hilda's POV, so this was the result.

Also - I genuinely have no idea who recommended me the song, which ended up inspiring the whole fic. I'm sure it was somebody, but I asked all the friends I could think of a while ago and none of them had.

And finally, I'll take that Wildflowers offer to talk about When She Wasn't There. That fic basically only exists because of the scene in Mountain King where Trylla shuts Johanna outside; the thing is, in the graphic novel, I don't think it's clear whether Trylla actually saw Johanna, so I wasn't able to acknowledge it in There Was A Kindness In Her, and wanted to retread the concept as a result.

That meant a greater focus on Johanna and her trauma from the incident; because she goes through an awful lot (I would genuinely argue a couple of moments actually go too far for the tone of the show, although it's not as bad as The Fifty Year Night and it being a movie helps it get away with more). The original concept was actually to have her be out when Hilda got home, because she'd gone to talk to a potential therapist, and didn't want to tell Hilda. But I just couldn't get the scene break between Hilda deciding to wait for her and her returning home to work right, so I recycled what I'd written and turned most of it into the start of Hilda's nightmare.

And that's the other thing I wanted to do. There are some fantastic fics about Hilda coping with Mountain King (this fic was a gift specifically because @sarasplenda wrote what I think is the absolute best one and one of the best Hilda fics, period), but one thing I wanted to explore myself was the idea of Hilda getting Separation Anxiety. Especially for a kid like her, who's very independent and really doesn't like imposing on her mum, it would be really hard for her to feel like that, I think. I actually took a lot of inspiration from the graphic novel version of Bird Parade, where Hilda actually does get really worried when she comes home and her mum isn't there, and it ends with Johanna offering to join Hilda on her adventures at the end of the Bird Parade (both versions of that story have Johanna at her absolute best, even if the Johannas are very different characters and good for very different reasons) so I stole that directly (I am still annoyed that the graphic novels never really made good on what was implied to be a change for the better in their relationship).

Still, part of me genuinely thinks this might be the most spiteful fic I've ever published. I have similar bitter feelings towards Infinity Train, and Forests of Oregon does address those in its final Book, but it's never been written; the Afraid series gets some of it, especially in the second part, and so does Authorisation Void, but who would've thought Hilda would be the show to really get it out of me?

#ask pika #friends #<33 #hilda the series #hilda netflix #hilda (hilda)#johanna hilda #alfur aldric #trylla hilda #baba's mum hilda #trylla negativity #hilda novels #get out #you're not my mum #swim until you can't see land #when she wasn't there

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starter-library · 3 years ago

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Dear Evan Hansen Lyric Starters || act one || act two ||

FEEL FREE TO CHANGE PRONOUNS/NAMES/PHRASING AS YOU SEE FIT

To Break In A Glove

“I bought this glove a thousand years ago for some birthday or some Christmas that has come and gone”

“So, if you're in the market for professional advice, Well today could be a lucky day for you”

“Though this method isn't easy, every second that you spend is gonna pay off. It'll pay off in the end”

“It just takes a little patience, it takes a little time, A little perseverance, and a little uphill climb”

“You can't take any shortcuts you gotta stick it out”

“With something like this, you gotta be ready to put in the work, make the commitment”

“You do the hard thing, ’cause that's the right thing”

Only Us

“I don't need you to sell me on reasons to want you, I don't need you to search for the proof that I should”

“You don't have to be scared you're not enough ‘cause what we've got going is good”

“I don't need more reminders of all that's been broken, I don't need you to fix what I'd rather forget”

“Try to quiet the noises in your head, we can't compete with all that”

“What if it's us and only us? And what came before won't count anymore or matter?”

“What if it's you and what if it's me and what if that's all that we need it to be?”

“I never thought there'd be someone like you who would want me”

“But if you really see me if you like me for me and nothing else, well, that's all that I've wanted for longer than you could possibly know”

“We can just watch the whole world disappear ’til you're the only one I still know how to see”

Good For You

“So you found a place where the grass is greener and you jumped the fence to the other side”

“Is it good? Are they giving you a world I could never provide?”

“Well I hope you're proud of your big decision yeah, I hope it's all that you want and more”

“Now you're free from the agonizing life you were living before”

“And you say what you need to say so that you get to walk away”

“It would kill you to have to stay trapped when you've got something new”

“Well I'm sorry you had it rough and I'm sorry I'm not enough. Thank God they rescued you”

“So you got what you always wanted. So you got your dream come true. Good for you”

“Does it cross your mind to be slightly sorry? Do you even care that you might be wrong?”

“Was it fun? Well I hope you had a blast while you dragged me along”

“You say what you need to say and you play who you need to play and if somebody's in your way crush them and leave them behind”

“Well I guess if I'm not of use go ahead, you can cut me loose”

“I'll shut my mouth and I'll let you go is that good for you? Would that be good for you?”

“I'll just sit back while you run the show is that good for you? Would that be good for you?”

“All I need is some time to think, but the boat is about to sink”

“Tell me how could I change the story?”

Words Fail

“I never meant to make it such a mess. I never thought that it would go this far”

“I just stand here sorry, searching for something to say”

“I guess I thought I could be part of this, I never had this kind of thing before”

“I never had that perfect girl who somehow could see the good part of me”

“I never had the dad who stuck it out no corny jokes or baseball gloves”

“That's not a worthy explanation, I know there is none. Nothing can make sense of all these things I've done”

“Sometimes, you see everything you wanted and sometimes, you see everything you wish you had”

“This was just a sad invention it wasn't real, I know. But we were happy I guess I couldn't let that go”

“I guess I wanted to believe ‘cause if I just believe, then I don't have to see what's really there”

“I'd rather pretend I'm something better than these broken parts, pretend I'm something other than this mess that I am”

“I never let them see the worst of me ‘cause what if everyone saw?”

“What if everyone knew? Would they like what they saw? Or would they hate it too?”

“Will I just keep on running away from what's true?”

“All I ever do is run. So how do I step in- step into the sun?”

So Big/ So Small

“It was a February day when your dad came by, before going away”

“Goodbye, goodbye. Now it's just me and my little guy”

“The house felt so big, and I felt so small”

“I knew there would be moments that I'd miss and I knew there would be space I couldn't fill”

“I knew I'd come up short a billion different ways and I did. And I do. And I will”

“Your mom isn't going anywhere your mom is staying right here”

“No matter what, I’ll be here”

“I'll be here. When it all feels so big, ’til it all feels so small”

Finale

“Today is going to be a good day. And here's why: because today, today at least you're you and that's enough.”

#lyric starters #musical starters #music starters #roleplay prompts #roleplay starters #roleplay starter #roleplay meme #rp starters #rp memes #rp prompt #rp starter #sentence starter meme #sentence starters #sentence meme #dear evan hansen #dear evan hansen musical

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awigglycultist · 2 years ago

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Solve it Squad Says No To Drugs thoughts! I also don't remember this episode too well but I sure to remember that I was insane, also sorry this one took me so long to get too,

Yup we're off to A Start

Esther has the birthdays of all the Dave Matthews band members memorized jfjfjf

"you're as looks TOGHT in those leggings dawg!!"

What made them think it was a good idea to bring Esther to a presentation about being drug free?

"alright kids, who here has ever ponded a beer so fast that their face went numb!?.... Good.. Lest keep it that way."

Boy that kid is terrifying

Wait do you think Scottie would be friends with Paris?

Once again: THIS THEME SONG GOES HARD

I think it's you're fault that you left a kids bday party pregnant girl

Mr Farmer, Esther can literally withstand horse tranquilizer, like they know hardcore drugs

I knew the "Esther are you ready to finally acknowledge the energy that's between us?" line was coming up and I still hate it

Love how Joey, when reacting to the other characters, often instead of looking at us he looks towards where this characters are on the screen relative to him (like he looks up since Keith is above, and diagonal for Gwen, to the side for Esther)

And ofc as always shout out to Joey's facial expressions

Fuck I love Joanna

Most of you won't get this/won't care about this but Keith's "RAID!" immediately made thing of Big Brother s20 Brett's "What wins national championships!? DEFENSE!!" even tho it's like the exact opposite

Keith, Scrags and principal Turner absolutely vibing <3 (nice to see Scrags can have fun sometimes)

Esther is. Trying.

"blah blah bloo! I'm Scrags! I have control issues! I wouldn't be doubting this plan if it came from a man!" "no! No!! Hey! That not fair- I'm never- besides aren't you gender non-conforming so technically it doesn't really-" "Scrags darling I know you're trying to be woke but maybe sit the rest of that thought out"

I love how in SISBIB there's so much Scrags being a Boomer™ but also trying His Best™

The fucking "I can't! It's tech week" shirt

"well its much more competitive and prestigious today" fuck off Gwen was actually in a TV show!

"you will regret that Benjamin Scragtowski"

Keith durning the whole "this little hotshots talking like a BIGBOY!" bit jdjddjd the voice, especially him calling a kid "biiittchhhh"

THAT'S RIGHT ANDREW BARTH FELDMAN IS THE DEFINITIVE EVAN HANSEN!!

"concerned parents.... of kids"

"little of this little of that" immediately made think of Andrew as Axel in TV or Not TV? Broadway Whodunit?

Omg I forgot they mentioned the tiktok Ratatouille musical!

God this musical argument between Keith and Vince jdjddjd (Keith is right)

Brian's voice <3

"yeah good parenting is easy. Heh, I mean take my parents for example they-... Were bad." Keith :( <3 also I love the wya he says this line

"ahhh fuck fuckyy fuckk

Jdkddb Gabe using his hand to make a little rino horn

"GET DOWN! GET THE FUCK DOWN! WE'RE TAKING FIRE!"

"Do you want to fucking DIE!?"

"belive all women Scrags!" "But Esther doesn't identify as-" "LEROOOOOY JEEEEENKINS"

Also Keith definitely should never have a gun

Gwen sorry but that school is not that important rn like you really should've put off that call til later anyway

Keith you dumbass it's metal

Scrags I have feeling they don't really care if you get your insulin or not

But Keith cares about getting Scrags his insulin <3 :)

Ah so humble Gwen

WorkED for a Russian drug cartel, important difference

"did you *kill* people?" "Noo oh no no. Just some graphic design, odd jobs, personal training" "oh thank god" "Of course I killed people you sugar free dumb dumbs!"

"man plans and god laughs. And then woman laughs at man for believing in god"

Esther: bye I'm gonna go die now

Anyway the squad cares about Esther <3 :)

I love that Dimitri and Annika go to therapy

Esther fucks

I forgot just how sexual

So honorable Keith

Naughty Bitches™

Comrade Cock-ubine

Yup. Just about as crazy as I remember. Well, maybe more than I remember actually.

#tin can bros #solve it squad #solve it squad back in biz #sisbib

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daydreamhowell · 3 years ago

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okay so I'm seeing a lot of people going "I always thought DEH was horrible bc Evan says he knows Connor to get with Connor's sister" etc. etc. without actually knowing the details of how it happens in the musical

disclaimer: I don't actually like the musical that much, I like some of the music but I agree that it gets really repetitive. also, I really only like the music in act 1 (with a couple of exceptions), so I'm really comfortable with the plot at the beginning, but once it gets to the Connor Project, I really only vaguely know what happens. also, like most people, I haven't seen the movie

OKAY let's start with Evan and Connor meeting. contrary to many posts that I've seen, they DID meet each other. Evan goes to the computer lab one day before school to print out a letter to himself - his therapist makes him write these letters, "Dear Evan Hansen, Today's a good day, and here's why....." So as he's printing this out, Connor comes into the computer lab, looking kind of intimidating, but generally being nice to Evan, asking him about his cast, how he broke his arm, whatever. Since no one has signed Evan's cast because he has no friends, Connor signs it in big letters to fill the whole thing up, which is really sweet! it's a nice moment. and then Connor sees Evan's letter to himself, sees that it mentions Connor's sister Zoe because Evan has a crush on her, and Connor gets understandably pissed off. he takes the letter and storms out. for Evan, this is the end of the interaction. it was weird and awkward, but it's done, and his only worry is that Connor might find him and like beat him up over it or something.

when Connor kills himself, his parents find the Dear Evan Hansen letter in Connor's pocket, and they assume it's a letter written by Connor to his secret best friend Evan Hansen. they're overjoyed in the greatest capacity they can be having lost their son, because at least their loner son had a friend, someone to help him through it all, even if he didn't make it through. Connor's parents feel somewhat culpable for Connor's death because they really didn't give him the support he needed, so the idea of Connor having had someone to support him takes a load off of the parents and makes them feel less guilty.

the following day at school, Evan is called into the principal's office. when he gets there, Connor's parents and sister are all there (he probably doesn't even know who Connor's parents are when he first sees them, but he definitely knows Zoe), and they tell Evan that Connor killed himself. and Evan is understandably confused because that shouldn't have anything to do with him. and then they show him the letter and make it clear that they think Evan and Connor were friends, which is corroborated by Connor having signed Evan's cast, and they effectively thank Evan for having been there for their son. and Evan goes along with it, both because of his anxiety and because it would be super awkward for anybody to go "sorry, your son actually didn't have any friends, I met him for the first time yesterday when he signed my cast and then was a dick to me and ran off." the idea of Evan being Connor's friend is clearly providing a lot of comfort to Connor's parents, so Even lets them think that they were friends because that's an action that seems totally harmless.

and then Connor's parents want Evan to be part of their lives, almost as a way for Connor to live on with them, and they start asking Evan all kinds of questions about their friendship. and that's where Evan starts to lie. ultimately, he's still trying to comfort the family by creating stories where Connor was kind and had fun and was trying to get better. in the process, he ends up almost gaslighting Zoe into doubting the existence of the emotional abuse she endured at the hands of her brother, but even for her, Evan is trying to provide an alternate history where Connor actually liked her. it's worth noting that Evan is also trying to sell the lie to himself because it would've been nice to have had a friend. Connor and Evan initially got along when they met, they're both in dire need of a friend, they both struggle with mental illness, and their families mirror each other in the show. if things had gone differently, I really believe that they could've been friends. and this possibility is so appealing to Evan, especially in the song "For Forever," where Evan rewrites the story of his suicide attempt to be a day out with Connor where Connor comes to help him after Evan falls from a tree.

is it shitty that Evan uses this opportunity to get with Zoe? absolutely. was lying at all not the best move? totally, but also he's a teenager who struggles interacting with people, so I don't blame him so much for getting himself in this mess. I never felt like Evan was really at fault for starting the lies, especially since it was such a great source of comfort for everyone involved, and since Connor's parents pretty much just pushed their assumptions on him. he's definitely a morally grey character, even more so as the plot goes on, but I don't think his actions become truly shitty until he starts getting some personal gain with it i.e. the resources of a more affluent family, dating Zoe, the celebrity of starting the Connor Project, etc.

also, I've seen the argument that audiences thought Evan was totally excused from his actions because of his anxiety. this was 2017, peak "uwu smol bean" era, so people online definitely felt that way, but I think critical reception (and like, normal reception by adults) of the musical was more nuanced. pretty much all musical theatre fandom at the time relied on super reductive, black-and-white thinking to categorize characters, so it's no surprise that a show with a more-than-typically morally gray main character would be super distorted by fandom. I've also seen complaints about people shipping Evan with Connor, which, yeah, that was pretty fucked up. since we really only get to see Connor through Evan's romanticized made-up stories about him, it's easy to read a romantic interest into it, especially when "Sincerely, Me" does make gay jokes about them, and also I heard that a lot of people thought the song "For Forever" was a gay love story without the context of the musical. food for thought. anyway it's not a particularly shippable musical in the first place, so pretty much the only other ships were Evan with side character Jared and Zoe with side character Alana. I can understand people gravitating towards the ship of two main characters, even if they didn't actually know each other and it's kinda fucked up

#dear evan hansen #dear evan hansen movie #deh #long post #sorry #i dont mean to excuse things that evan did or things that the fandom did #but i do think that the beginning of the lies is at least very understandable in the musical

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superherotiger · 4 years ago

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Hi! If you're still doing the drabbles, could you do one with a theater nerd Peter? Preferably Hamilton but it doesn't have to be!!!!! Thank you!! :D

Did I get carried away with this? Yes. Do I regret it? No lol. Thanks so much for the prompt Anon, this was so much fun!

(Spoilers for Hamilton ahead)

~~~~~~~~~~

It took a long time for Peter to ease up around Tony.

The first couple months of their official lab sessions went by in awkward silences and stiff interactions, but as the weeks went by, the two geniuses began to find their footing. Unsure stutters became playful banter, and stretches of emptiness were filled with music and laughter. The more the two saw each other, the more relaxed they became, and Tony found himself enjoying the little details about his protégé that revealed itself with time.

The way Peter would run a hand through his curls when nervous, or how his leg would bounce rapidly when excitedly. How he liked to sit on the ceiling when his senses got too much, and that he thought pizza was better than burgers despite Tony insisting he was wrong.

But maybe most surprisingly of all was that Peter loved to sing.

It began with humming melodies under his breath as he worked, so quiet that Tony almost missed it under the clamour of machinery, only for it to grow over the weeks into a much more noticeable mumble. Like he wanted to put a true voice to his thoughts but forced himself to remain quiet. And no matter how many times Tony insisted he choose a song for their lab sessions, Peter would decline with an embarrassed shake of his head, saying, “You probably wouldn’t like anything I listen to.”

And so Tony gave up his attempts and left the mystery to unravel itself, forgetting about it entirely as lab days shifted to nights over, and eventually, entire weekends spent at the tower. And it was on one of those weekends when Tony heard it for the first time.

“…And all the years will melt away, and lights will fall much softer now…”

Peering into the guest bedroom -which really was just Peter’s room at this point with how often he used it-, Tony saw the boy hunched over his homework and swaying his head to whatever tune he was currently lost in through his headphones. His voice though, as soft and smooth as honey, echoed across the space, filling the air with a harmony that had even Tony entranced.

“For all the pain is gone, hope is what moves on,” Peter sung. “I will be there, as near as her next prayer, as merciful as sweet redemptio- oh my god!”

Tony blinked himself back to reality at the startled cry and realised that Peter’s eyes were now locked onto him in a mix of shock and unfiltered mortification. “Mr Stark! How long have you been standing there?!” he squeaked, cheeks bright red.

“Not long,” Tony tried to soothe as he stepped into the room, though he couldn’t help the fond smile that tugged at his lips as he added coyly, “So�� good song?”

“Oh my god,” Peter groaned into his hands, desperately trying to hide his embarrassment. “This can’t be happening.”

A chuckle slipped past Tony’s defences at the teen’s over-dramatics, patting his shoulder in mock sympathy before ushering him out of the room for lunch. But as much as Peter tried to pretend it had never happened, it did open up a doorway into the boy’s world that had previously been locked shut. When he realised that Tony wouldn’t even dream of mocking him for singing, he began to do it more often, and even made some of the song choices on lab days. And when it seemed that his mentor was completely content with him doing so, Peter began to introduce him to a new genre, the world of musicals and Broadway.

Before long AC/DC and Led Zeplin -which Tony repeatedly had to remind Peter were two different entities- were replaced by Dear Evan Hansen and The Count of Monte Cristo. Razia’s Shadow and Heathers. And most crucially of all, Hamilton.

The kid was obsessed with it, and after a year and a half of growing closer together not just as mentor and mentee, but as family, Peter had absolutely no problem belting his favourite Hamilton songs as he cracked down on homework or trained in the gym. It was always a highlight of Tony’s day when Peter slipped into one of his performances, because it was never just his voice that shifted with the mood of the song, but his facial expressions and posture as well. It was entrancing, if not simply for the fact that Peter always looked so damn happy when he did it.

But even after months of hearing some select songs from the soundtrack, Tony had yet to fully understand the fascination with Hamilton, which quickly changed when he expressed as such to his theatre nerd of an intern.

“You’ve never seen Hamilton?!” Peter exclaimed in abject horror. “How- how are you a billionaire and you haven’t even gone to the best Broadway production around?!”

“Never had time,” Tony simply shrugged.

“Well you’ll have to make time, because we’re gonna go see it!”

And that’s how Tony Stark ended up seated beside his favourite intern the next night to watch the Broadway hit. He told himself it was only for Peter’s sake, who was about to vibrate out of his seat with pure excitement at this rate, but by the time the first song was over, Tony had to admit he was hooked. The energy, the atmosphere, the seamless transitions between songs and the sheer emotion that each singer projected into the air worked together to draw Tony into their world, their stories. It was spectacular, and suddenly Tony realised why Peter had gushed over it in such awe. Why he had such an affinity for musicals which were so powerful and raw in their emotions. Even Tony felt his chest swell with warmth during Dear Theodosia, and he couldn’t help but look over at the boy that had become his kid as the words echoed through his soul.

Pride is not the word I’m looking for, there is so much more inside me now…

The show continued to hold both of them captive to the music, and after chuckling at the quips and hilarious numbers of King George, Tony found himself enjoying the ecstatic gleam in Peter’s eye like stars glimmering against the abyss of space. The sight of his joy alone made the whole night worthwhile.

But then the world they had been drawn into grew dim with betrayal and shame, and Tony could feel his stomach twist during the seemingly upbeat Blow Us All Away, as if he could sense the air of death filling the room before it had ever entered.

“Look him in the eye, aim no higher. Summon all the courage you require, then slowly and clearly aim your gun towards the sky!”

“1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7-“

A gunshot rung through the air, and Tony felt the air leave his lungs when he saw Phillip suspended mid fall, sentenced to death without a moment’s hesitation. Tony had always thought he was a strong man, or at the very least a well guarded one, but as Hamilton burst onto the scene begging to see his dying son, Tony felt a grief so overwhelming and cold wash over him. Tearing through his every breath, seeping into his bones.

“I know, I know- shh… I know, I know, shh. Save your strength and stay alive.”

Leaning forward to get a better view through his misty eyes, Tony watched the pain etched onto both Hamiltons’ features -the terror, the guilt, the agony- and felt his muscles tense up like a bowstring. As if he were the one trying to comfort his son from a fatal bullet wound, struggling to realise that he was about to lose his child.

Phillip and Eliza sung one last melody together before the thud of a heartbeat trailed away with his voice, and Tony felt his own heart pound like thunder in his ears through the silence. The overwhelming sense of loss in the air and the iciness in his veins were too real, too painful to comprehend. It hadn’t been his child- it wasn’t even real, but Tony felt everything as if he had been standing right there in Alexander’s shoes. As if Phillip had been…

A warm, gentle hand entwined with his own, and blinking himself out of a trance, Tony glanced over to see those familiar doe eyes staring back at him in not just concern, but understanding.

“It’s okay,” Peter whispered as a new song began to play, squeezing Tony’s fingers in a silent reassurance of “I’m here, you’re here, we’re okay… we’re okay…”

And just like that, the darkness that had settled over Tony’s heart fell away like fog burning under the morning sun. The heaviness lingered on in his chest, but as he wiped away the wetness in his eyes and returned the encouraging squeeze to Peter’s hand, he knew that everything was alright again. That he was back where he needed to be; at a show with his kid, his kid who was very much alive and well.

And when the final song was sung and the cast came forward to take their bow, Tony and Peter’s cheers rose above all the other applause in a show of appreciation for the amazing production. A ‘Well Done!’ from Peter and a ‘Thank you,’ from Tony for helping him to understand another part of his kid’s world. And maybe, a realisation into his own as well.

That night as Peter was about to head off to bed for a much needed sleep, Tony threw aside his old hesitations and dragged the boy into a strong embrace, the final remnants of that heaviness abating as Peter coiled his arms around his back in return.

“Thanks for tonight kid,” he murmured into the boy’s curls.

“You paid for it,” Peter laughed.

“It was fun though.”

“Yeah?” he asked, sounding slightly nervous for the answer.

“Yeah,” Tony assured, pulling back to ruffle the boy’s hair as he added “We should go more often.”

“Really?” Peter gasped, eyes beaming with hope and awe.

“Yeah kiddo. You name it, and we’ll go see it.”

For the second time that night the wind got knocked out of Tony lungs, except this time it was from fondness instead of grief as Peter barrelled into his chest for another hug.

“Thanks Mr Stark! You’re the best!”

Smiling softly, Tony ran a hand through the mess of Peter’s curls and planted a kiss to the crown of his head, not even the slightest bit embarrassed to do so. And out of all the songs, all the beautiful melodies they had witnessed that night, only one echoed back to Tony as he held the boy in his arms.

We’ll give the world to you and you’ll blow us all away. Someday, someday…

Yeah you’ll blow us all away…

~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @joyful-soul-collector @lost-lunar-wolf @lbigreyhound13 @aixabi @zanderljones

#tony stark #peter parker #irondad #spiderson #hamilton #theatre #drabble #request #anonymous #my writing #I don't have a musical bone in my body but I adore musicals so much #please please please listen to the count of monte cristo musical sountrack if you get the chance #its one of my favourites!

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couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name · 4 years ago

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PLEASE post your deh dream concepts

thank you for enabling me queen

OKAY first of all, I think it would have worked better as a straight play instead of a musical! there are moments, like 'sincerely, me' for example, where the singing just cheapens the moment. like, that song is a fun little bop! that they're...singing about fabricating a dead child's emails in order to lie to his family? lmfao it just Doesn't sit right imo. don't worry, I'm gonna work Ben Platt singing into it tho, just hang on.

Second- there was a show Daniel Radcliffe did on broadway about social media privacy a few years ago, and I remember it was interactive, the audience all logged onto a specific wifi network and used their phones during the show, it was cool! Dear Evan Hansen like....Tries to involve social media commentary but it just kinda gives up on it. like, they flash some fake profiles with a projector, and briefly shows Alana dramatizing what Evan told her online, but that's pretty much it??? I think it would have been super cool and unique to work the audience into the story like that. like...when I was in high school our school had a specific facebook page where people could anonymously compliment other students? and I know other schools have had similar things like that. they could set up a site that's supposed to be the school's media along those lines, and have the audience post on it (regarding the events of the plot) and have it read out during the show. maybe it'll even effect the climax if we wanna get fancy- some audiences might be more sympathetic to Evan while others want him to have harsher consequences! who knows! I just feel like the musical really dropped this whole 'how can we Connect' message it was going for and it'd be really cool to see it used better

Third- okay so. the letter writing thing. like, that IS an actual therapy thing but it's a bit...weird? I feel like most therapists recommend journaling over that also it feels kinda mean lmao 'no one will talk to me all day so I have to write to myself' ksjddklf. and Evan doesn't really...have much of a personality? like, he has an anxiety disorder, he's ashamed of his home life, he likes trees. that's kinda...it? like despite going on a complex arc he's not a very fleshed out character, it's weird. and since ben platt legally has to sing- I propose Evan likes song writing. it's something that's a little more relatable than the tree thing, and it also just adds to him lol. his 'I Need To Escape This Town' energy = he wants to be a musician. it'll show he's good with words when writing them down- which helps him fabricate the emails with Connor. Zoe's in band, so it gives the two of them something to bond over that doesn't involve Connor. maybe the letter itself was a weirdly formatted song he was working on, or maybe the therapist thought he'd like the letter thing bc of songwriting- but we can see it progress trough the show, like Alana wants him to write and perform a song about Connor and the Murphy's think that'll be so sweet! or maybe when he finally fesses up he writes a song about the whole mess and posts it online or something to that effect. I just think it'd be nice.

(also hi literally why is his therapist not a character??? feel like that's someone who might have a lot to say about the situation lmfao)

Four- focus more on Evan's suicidal thoughts??? omg like the big reveal they had was good but it was never like. revealed to anyone around him and overall just kinda passed over in the grand scheme of the plot like. bro. the show is supposed to be about this kid's mental health

I think...straight play, social media interactive, and then Evan's secret DOES get exposed- whether by people finding holes, the murphy's exposing him, or Evan cracking by himself, something like that. the 'one year later' part at the end, Evan posts a video explaining his side of the story and sings a song dedicated to Connor (maybe a little you will be found rework?). those are my biggest ideas anyway. the show holds a powerful story but I just feel like tweaking it would make it so much better idk

#dear evan hansen #deh #musicals #evan hansen #asks #molly mumbles #sunsetinsanremo

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youranxiousnerd · 4 years ago

Text

The Field Trip Thoughts

Because there is a lot of them

Spoilers for HSMTMS Below

First off, Gina and Ej are adorable. I don’t ship Portwell romantically but I adore their friendship

I’m sorry Ej is the president of the AV club?!?!?! He’s been a part of the club for, what, like two weeks? Go big or go home I guess

I love Nini’s outfit

RICKY USE YOUR EYES!!!

i see that a common theme this season is Ricky not being able to see what is right in front of him.

I know Ricky is going through stuff. I’m a firm supporter of the Ricky needs therapy campaign.

Gp better be Ej’s contact name for Gina or I will riot

“Are you announcing the fall musical, I vote Dear Evan Hansen.”

two evans and possibly a third #joeserafiniforevan

YA KOURT IS STILL ON COSTUME CREW WE STAN AN ACTOR/TECHIE

“SPEECH SPEECH”

i love dara’s laugh

“Can you not keep your phone on silent in rehearsal like everyone else?” “’Sorry, everyone’, is what Carlos would say if he were more like me.”

I smell tension. They seem kind of tense this episode. I don’t know where it came from, there wasn’t really any build up bc thats how seblos rolls. Like they were completely fine last episode. Maybe Seb is just fed up or something happened off screen?

im just happy we’re getting seblos content lmao

“Terrible line”

“Oh my god is your phone hungry i don’t understand.”

In the “previously on HSMTMTS” segment in episode 5, Carlos mentioned he was slightly scared to be on stage. he seems so effing stressed and irritated this episode more than usual. Carlos for the love of god talk to your boyfriend and eat a snickers.

I think the North High stuff has gone to his head.

GAHH SEB’S COSTUME

okay carlos honey i love you but how can do you know north high stole your beast mask because a bit of fur is sticking out of a trunk. they have fur too.

guys look around the room first it could have fallen but nOoOo you assume they committed a felony right off the back.

“Let it go” the kids of east high did not in fact let it go.

I AM DIANE AND I LOVE NORTH HIGH

yes, bring the loudest kids in the school to go steal something, thats an excellent idea.

and bring the kid who cant lie for sh!t im talking about you seb

RICHARD BOWEN YOU DO NOT SCREAM YOUR SCHOOL NAME IN THE ENEMY SCHOOL WTF

Carlos looks so done with everyone I feel you man, i feel you

north high looks more like pottery barn than an actual high school. Seriously, who or what is funding this place?

Miss Jenn: tells the kids to let it go and not go steal the mask.

Also Miss Jenn: goes to north high

GET AWAY FROM GINA YOU MFER

ej is wearing the gayest shirt in history how does that north high boy believe they’re dating

nice save, ej.

the faking dating was one of the best scenes of the episode.

AWWW EJ

im so happy gina is finally getting the attention she deserves. like i said earlier, i dont ship portwell but gina needs friends and ashlyn and ej are some pretty good friends. they have her back and that’s what i think gina needs.

LILY IS EVIL BUT SHE LOOKS GOOD DOING IT

kourtney darling lower your voice youre on a heist not shopping for shoes

nini you have done nothing for this heist why are you here?

for the record, i don’t hate nini, but shes probably one of my least favorite characters. i liked her in episode 6 and season 1 tho.

the main kids all share one braincell they didn’t check the box where they originally thought the mask was.

“I want one”

Wow, you guys got caught. Between the Wildcats, loud voices, and large crew I would have never guessed.

SEB’S FACE WHEN NORTH FINDS THEM IM DYING.

The aggressiveness of Antoine’s french is killing me.

zacky roy what are you doing?

LILY AND THE FLASHLIGHT

carlos getting fired up

“fugly” dramatic gasp

“Oh yeah, what if we bop to the top” I HAVE WAITED 17 EPISODES FOR MEAN/AGGRESSIVE/ANGRY SEB IT WAS WORTH IT

GO OFFF SEBBY

carlos’ “honey calm tf down” face

“honey no” “honey yes”

East High is confused by a dance off (so am i) but then preform a musical number to save their teacher from getting fired complete with original a original song and dance

“That’s weird even for me”

LILY DONT YOU EFFING DARE INSULT ASHLYN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF

“She’s better than this” Next scene is Miss. Jenn dancing with the enemy

Around you is my least favorite song of the season. That being said, the singing is good

RICKY LOOK THE OTHER WAY

“Tom Holland on stilts”

“That man is ridiculous and you should dump him and date me” ANTOINE THAT IS A HORRIBLE THING TO SAY BUT ITS SO FUNNY

i love antoine

dj antoine in the house!

“I knew you all didn’t like the Mob Song”

“What kind of budget” THANK YOU KOURTNEY

nini straight up said “see ya”

how is no one questioning why someone is in costume? didn’t lily say no costumes?

also how is howie beast playing guitar with those gloves?

YAY KOURTNEY

ANDREW BARTH FELDMAN EVERYONE

seb really said “go get em babe”

CARLOS POP OFF

i love how frankie was singing in his lower range or it was just autotune

ASHLYN I LOVE YOU YASSSSS

nice save, antoine. do i ship? idk, but it was cute.

mob song was good. the solos were pretty good as well as the dancing but the background track...not my style. it was enjoyable tho.

SALTY BIG RED

“No, Nini’s Rose Song.”

im so glad they addressed why the rose song cant be used. its a really good song and olivia sings it perfectly but it doesn’t make sense for the plot and you cant alter text.

“Ej you had one job”

nini really likes leaving

Zack you are an adult it is high school theater not the World Series

“it’s just a song, ricky” I think you kinda, ya know wasn’t “just a song”. Out of the Old wasn’t “just a song”. All I want wasn’t “just a song”. How is Rose Song any different?

gina and ej goofing off is awesome

seb and carlos being the theater dads watching over their children

ope- howie turn your phone off

carlos and seb really said “bye, have fun” THEY BOLTED

ummm...yeah

you can see how much howie regretted in that moment

“I’m Nina” ooo interesting is she going to go by Nina now?

Overall, I really enjoyed the episode. The stakes are high and I’m glad the other relationships are getting screen time. The balance was good this week, I wish it was like this every week. My only issue is how underdeveloped the plot was this episode, but beside that it was pretty good.

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rotzaprachim · 4 years ago

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i realised i probably will never get here in in painter’s light so enjoy this my favorite fandom crossover/easter egg i’ve ever written:

(It’s from an au where declan stayed with his mother ergo canon + dialect differences)

6. Washington DC

Age twenty, he gets a business call from a woman who has a statue to sell. Normally he doesn’t take these kinds of calls anymore, the ones that are meant to go straight to his mother’s number, but this woman sounds desperate in the way that has him thinking it’s better if he handles it than one of his mother’s hands in the city, so he buys two Amtrack tickets, and north he goes. Matthew gets sick after eating a microwaveable, foil-wrapped train burger from the snack car.

He installs Matthew in the Met while he meets his contact. An old school deli, one of the kind that’s apparently disappearing fast, an endangered species, and she’s probably a local so it’ll be annoying or pretentious anyway, but she refused any of his options for fancier, more expensive wine-and-dine locations anyway so deli it is. He gets a lox bagel and a coffee and two black-and-whites in a bag to split with Matthew later while he sizes her up. She keeps looking at her hands but she’s calm with the person she called in from Boudicca, has something steely about her, like she’s dealt with bigger fish before and isn’t scared. There’s something about her that’s like him, he knows, thought they don’t say the magic word at all. He thinks she’s maybe thirty.

“In the interest of not beating around the bush further, as it’s clear that’s what neither of us is here to do, let’s move on to the real action item.”

“I have a statue to sell.”

She shows him photos. The camera resolution isn’t quite what he needs to appraise it seriously, but he can see how shockingly life-like it is already.

“How much d’you want for it?”

“Fifty thousand.”

He almost coughs up his coffee.

“You haven’t been playing this game for long.”

She doesn't’ say anything.

“Fifty thousand, take it or leave it.”

“What’s the material?”

“Marble.”

He considers. If it’s good up close he could probably resell it for four or five times that to some collector interested in neo-hellenic stuff. Not many people making original marble statuary these days compared to the market of the super-rich looking for shit to decorate their back gardens.

“Can you show me?”

Declan calls Matthew to tell him to go back to the hotel and get takeaway without him and follows the woman uptown on the bus. They get off in Spanish Harlem, a world away from the shiny robot skyscrapers downtown. She lives on the fourth floor of her building, in a narrow apartment somewhat rank with the smell of body odour and spilled beer, although she throws the windows open and has loads of potted plants about, like she’s trying very hard to get rid of the smell.

“There.”

The sculpture is unmissable. Life size and astonishingly, terribly ugly. Truly incredible in it’s attention to awful detail. A middle aged, balding, short man with a fan of cards in one hand and a beer swinging from the other, positioned exactly as if he’s just got up from sitting. Mouth opened, soundlessly screaming his head off. Declan sees it and flinches without even meaning too. His mother’s not had many men, but she had a few, when she was younger. But it’s just a statue. Just a statue.

Still one of the weirdest goddamn things he’s ever fucking seen, and that’s saying something.

Authentic marble though.

“Formal education? Apprenticed to someone?”

“Take it or leave it. Fifty thousand.”

No more information. He knows exactly why she called him. He’s the kind of man you call when you don’t have information about the life-sized sculpture of a man in your sitting room and no information to give about how you made it, in the same year you report your husband missing to the police. When to the untrained eye, the two look identical. He’s that kind of man.

He gets her three million USD for it.

It’s all through an official channel so it’s harder to launder, get it looking legal. A million upfront, the rest leaked in increments over the next ten years. All shiny, all legal, all IRS-signed off. He personally takes out fifty thousand and puts it in a manila envelope for when he meets her a few blocks off central station, an hour before his train’s scheduled to leave. He gives her the envelope. She gives him a white paper bag containing only blue sweets. It looks like a proper pick-n-mix haul, something he didn’t even think the States had. Whoppers, sour strings, taffy, gum, gummy sharks. He eats a sweet and sour wind-up before being able to stop himself, the sweet-sour crystals on his fingers like being a kid again.

“You’re so young,” she says finally, like this didn’t occur to her the entire time he was selling what was probably her husband’s dead body.

He shrugs, but he’s smiling. “But I got your done.” She can’t be more than ten years older than him, anyway, and most of her jobs have been harder. You don’t tell art world undergrounders your personal life, anyway, but he noticed all of the accoutrements of a maybe secondary-school aged kid lurking around her flat, Lucky Charms, mud scuffs on the floor in strange places, football jerseys in the hamper. She’d tried to hide the obvious things, no photos on the fridge or skateboard leaning against the door frame, but he had an eye for those kinds of details like other people had a head for figures, and he recognised the detritus of a teenager well, because he’d been one recently and he had one.

She appraises him for a second. Her eyes are large and very dark brown, and they don’t let anything go. “Zeus?” she finally says, like she’s been thinking it for a long time, testing the waters. “Hera?”

“Like the Greek gods?”

He went through his greek mythology phase, for sure. Half of decoding what posh people write seems to be about knowing the ins and outs of the soap operatic turns of events people told each other for fun two thousand years ago, which is then called Classics.

She looks at him longer, considers him.

“Lugh, then? Bridgid?”

“I don’t know what you mean by that.”

She nods. “Sorry if- nevermind. Thank you for selling my statue.”

“I hope you do well with it. With your… artistic career. Now, and I don’t fucking care if you blow throught he money in a year, never call me again. Never call this number again. Never call any number related to it. If your money never comes through do fine with a million and don’t go looking. Never.” They shake hands and part ways, and he never sees her again, but he does think about her a lot afterwards anyway, parsing their conversation out. No gods and no God either, as far as he knows. Strange fucking thing to ask.

He’s learned enough by how Matthew is on trains - and on ferries, it transpires, and in strange taxis, and he doesn’t want to fucking think about the transatlantic flight he’s planning at some point - not to let him eat much before the train back to DC, for which he feels bad. While they were in New York he let Matthew choose a show and dutifully got some last minute Dear Evan Hansen tickets off a third party seller, got the good seats and the playbill they got signed after by the cast, Declan knows who to talk to for these kinds of things.

#my writing #crossover time.#in painter's light #declan lynch #and i won't... say who else #but after i saw posts about this online i was like of course. of course

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f00pyf00p · 4 years ago

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Four-Year Anniversary

Fandom: Sanders Sides Characters: Logan, Virgil, Roman, Mentions of Patton Rating: General Relationships: Romantic Analogical Warnings: None that I’m aware of Word count: 3017 Summary: Roman is determined to make Logan and Virgil will enjoy their anniversary, even if they don't seem to be particularly interested in it themselves. Other Notes: Analogical Week Day 1: Debate/Anniversary @analogicalweek

Read on AO3!

Virgil was the first one out of the two to awaken. It was an odd but welcome occurrence, and one he celebrated by shifting over and cuddling into his partner, wrapping one arm over Logan’s waist, and kissing the side of his neck.

There was a soft mumble from the other person. Virgil kissed him again.

“I don’t wake you up when I happen to awaken first,” Logan grumbled. “Besides, I require abnormal amounts of strength today.”

Virgil frowned. “Why?”

“Roman.”

Right.

Today was their anniversary. It was their four-year anniversary (that thought alone had Virgil pulling Logan a little closer) and while to them, that meant… not a lot, to Roman it meant much more than it should, especially considering he wasn’t even in the relationship.

“20 bucks says he’s made the kitchen look like a really fancy restaurant.”

Logan's only response was a quiet groan.

“What things do you think we’ll see the moment we open the bedroom door?” Virgil nudged him. “I’ve got rose petals, a basket of chocolates, and a radio playing the sound of Roman singing love songs.”

“Teddy bears,” Logan yawned. He curled closer into the blankets and Virgil suddenly wished to grab his adorable boyfriend and squish him. He settled to push himself up for a kiss on the cheek. “On Valentine’s Day when Thomas went to CVS Roman kept looking from the giant stuffed bears to us. He probably summoned some.”

“He summoned some yesterday during the “First Time Thomas had Mac n’ Cheese” anniversary. Do you really think he’ll do it again?”

“He used those frilly streamers for a full week for “The First TV” anniversary, “The Steven Universe” anniversary, “The First Time Liking Broccoli” anniversary, and “The First Time Hearing the Evan Hansen Musical” anniversary.”

Virgil’s head flopped onto Logan’s shoulder. “Maybe we will have teddy bears then.”

“I’ll burn whatever stupid bear he gets me.”

“What if it's a unicorn bear?”

Logan’s cheeks tinted a very light pink and he opened both eyes to glare at the man hanging above him. Virgil gave a cheeky grin and Logan rolled his eyes before re-closing them and settling back into the pillows.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Virgil nudged playfully.

“Shut up.”

Virgil flopped back down and pressed his face into the back of Logan’s neck. He had barely been there for a second before he was peppering kisses down the back of it, triggering a loud sigh and then a rolling from Logan’s so they were nearly nose to nose.

“You have a lot of energy today,” Logan remarked.

Virgil reached up and kissed his nose.

“We could say in bed forever,” Virgil told him. “Then we get to avoid Roman.”

“That would hurt Roman’s feelings.” Logan’s expression turned more sheepish. “I’m trying not to do that anymore.”

Virgil’s heart bloomed with love for this man in front of him, who could accept the fact that he had made mistakes and who worked so hard to improve them.

“Still,” Virgil pressed. “We can stall.”

Logan shrugged and Virgil took that as permission to lean forward and fully capture his boyfriend’s lips within his own.

Roman was positive he had forgotten something. Something important. Something they needed.

He ran down his checklist.

A path of red and white roses petals, leading from Logan’s bedroom (which had pretty much become Logan and Virgil’s bedroom at this point) to the kitchen.

Baskets, filled with chocolates, fruits, flowers, and a coffee maker. Two large teddy bears, one white, one grey.

Then in the kitchen…

Waffles, cooked to perfection by Patton. Hot syrup, berries, whipped cream, and then there was the fact that the entire kitchen had been shifted to look like one of those fancy diners.

He had created an entire ballroom, filled it to the brim with random facets of Thomas’s personality, added music and snacks, and then closed it off for later.

His room was open to go outside and eat at the picnic he had set up, on a blanket completely covered in hearts.

What had he missed?

Crap! There were supposed to be chocolates at the picnic! Roman hurriedly snapped his fingers and felt himself relax.

Wait.

Music.

With another snap of his fingers, radios appeared at every single one of the spots he had set up for Logan and Virgil, all filled with the sound of his voice singing a variety of love songs.

Now, everything was perfect, as it should be for Logan and Virgil’s fourth anniversary.

The bedroom door opened. Roman could tell because the sound of him singing “You Matter to Me” from Waitress slowly started up, followed by Roman’s loud singing.

I could find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes

They've seen things you never quite say, but I hear…

Logan came into the kitchen first. He blinked at the fancy diner and offered Roman what was probably a smile- Roman wasn’t quite sure, but admittedly, it wasn’t like the logical side smiled much anyway. As Logan gingerly took a seat, Virgil appeared behind him. His hands flinched slightly at the sight but he did smile at Roman before moving for the coffee machine.

“No!”

Virgil blinked. Had Roman turned to look at Logan, he would’ve noticed the side putting his head in his hands, but his gaze was fixated solely on Virgil and the mugs he was reaching for.

“I’ll do that!” Roman stepped forward and shoved Virgil towards the table. “It’s your day!”

“I um…” Virgil licked his lips. “I don’t want-”

“We appreciate it, Roman,” Logan interrupted. He fixed Virgil with a look. “Just breakfast, right?”

Roman nodded eagerly.

Virgil pursed his lips before moving back over to the table Logan was already seated at and taking the spot across from him. The two of them leaned forward, probably to tell each other how pleased they were with Roman’s efforts, while Roman reached for the coffee.

He had been setting up things like this for the past four years, every time their anniversary hit, and he had never seemed to get it quite right. Somewhere along the line, one or the other always disappeared and everything fell to shambles pretty quickly.

It didn’t matter. Roman would make today so enjoyable, they would wish everyday was Anniversary Day.

He placed two coffee mugs in front of them. “What would you like to eat?” He asked.

Logan and Virgil looked at each other, then over to the obvious stack of waffles sitting on the counter.

“Toast,” Virgil deadpanned.

Logan hid his smile with a single hand. He nodded vaguely in the waffles direction and Roman skipped over to the platter and then placed it in the middle of the lovebird’s table.

“Thank you, Roman.” Logan met his eyes and gave a quiet nod before reaching to grab a waffle with his fork.

They ate in relative silence, now and then raising an eyebrow or flickering their eyes in a direction to communicate some sort of message Roman didn’t understand. He waited patiently for the two of them to finish eating before snapping his fingers and clearing the table in an instant.

“Right! Now, I have an outdoorsy activity plan for you including Swan Boats-”

“I can’t!” Virgil interrupted.

Roman paused. “Why not?”

“I’m… allergic to water?”

There was a beat of silence. Logan stared open-mouthed at Virgil but Roman nodded knowingly.

“Okay, then we can skip the Swan Boats and go right to the theater.”

Logan winced at that.

“Don’t worry,” Roman said quickly. “It’s gay.”

“Look, Roman, I’m sure your play is very good… who’s in it?”

“Me!”

Virgil closed his eyes and Logan licked his lips.

“Right. I’m sure it’s… adequate. But I’m not very fond of theater-”

“You’ll like this one,” Roman said. “Come on! I promise it’ll be fun!”

Virgil and Logan shared another one of their looks. Their hands laced together and both of them nodded over at Roman, who was all too happy to lead them out of the kitchen and towards his room.

When Roman glanced behind him, he found Virgil raising his eyebrows at Logan, an expression that Logan seemed to be purposely ignoring. Roman wasn’t quite sure what to make of it but he chose to leave his strange nerds to whatever they were up to and concentrate on the performance he was about to give. It would be a bit difficult to give, as for some reason, none of the other sides that preferred acting had liked the idea of acting for Logan and Virgil.

“Logan hates theater,” Courage had said, “and Virgil is scared of being the only audience member clapping. Besides, you know they don’t do anything for anniversaries anyway.”

Roman did know that, which is why he had set up this show for them. In his opinion, it was important to celebrate the big moments. Especially four years of being together.

His performance began with a song about feeling lost and alone. The moment the song began, Logan began shifting in his seat and Virgil muttered something in his ear.

During intermission, Logan went up to Roman and gave him what could’ve either been a smile or a grimace.

“I have work,” he said simply. “Virgil says he’ll watch the rest of your performance and tell me about it, because I don’t want your efforts to go unwatched, but I do really need to go.”

Roman stared at him. “It’s your anniversary! You should be relaxing!”

Logan just shrugged. “I don’t see an anniversary as an achievement.”

Before Roman could even begin to unpack all that, Logan gave him a tiny wave and left Virgil to watch the rest of Roman’s performance alone.

Okay, so the theater and the swan boats were a bust. That was fine. Roman had plenty of other things planned for today.

Except, then Virgil wanted to go work, so only he and Logan went to Patton’s cooking class.

And then Logan saw a book he hadn’t read in the library, so Virgil did the escape room by himself (he did manage to complete it though.)

And then both Logan and Virgil were busy, so the picnic was completely ruined.

By 3 o’clock, Roman had all but given up trying to get Logan and Virgil to do fun things and was sitting by the kitchen table, head firmly planted on the tabletop, and letting out quiet moans as if he were a fish that had just been gutted.

There was a creak from the chair beside him. Roman turned his head to the side and blinked rapidly at Logan. The side’s expression was unreadable, but Roman sat up and glared fully at his stupid friend.

“Why don’t you just enjoy the stuff I make you!?” Roman threw his hands up in the air. “You’ve been together for four years! You should celebrate that!”

Logan sighed quietly. “Would it make you feel better if Virgil and I did one of your… date ideas?”

“No!” Roman crossed his arms over his chest. “It would make me feel better if you wanted to celebrate.”

“So we can’t make you feel better then?”

It took Roman a second to figure out what he was insinuating. That the only reason he would do anything Roman planned was for him and not their relationship. “Why don’t you want to celebrate!?” he practically shouted.

Virgil appeared in the doorway. Roman’s eyes flickered between the two of them but it was Logan who answered his question.

“Virgil doesn’t like the over-attention, and I don’t see an anniversary as an achievement.” His voice was casual as if they were discussing how the sky was blue or that water made things wet. “The true achievements in a relationship are when you compromise, help the other through obstacles, show your interest in their interests. It’s not an arbitrary date.”

Roman stared rather blankly at him.

“The achievement,” Logan continued, “is just being in the relationship. It doesn’t matter to me how long I’m with Virgil, so long as I am.”

“You fucking-” Virgil spoke from the doorway, voice a bit more muffled than usual.

Logan glanced behind him, eyebrows knit together, and barely had time to ask “what?” before Virgil had hauled him out of his chair, waved at Roman, and pulled Logan out of the kitchen.

Roman snapped his fingers, and all of the plans he had made for the day- the party, the trivia game, the Disney movie marathon- vanished into thin air.

Logan walked into his room later that night and was not at all surprised to find Virgil laying across his bed, computer open to Disney+, and Virgil browsing through it in an attempt to find a movie they could watch together. It was a common sight- although normally, Virgil wore his hoodie instead of the skeleton onesie on at the moment. And normally, there wasn’t a unicorn onesie spread out off to the side of him in a very obvious message as to what Logan was to wear.

He scooped the onesie up.

“Dinner?” Virgil glanced over at him. He smiled widely at the sight of conjured Chinese food and then rolled his eyes. “Utter sap.”

Logan was still trying not to melt from the mere look on Virgil’s face and wasn’t able to find his tongue before Virgil had sat up and given him a soft kiss.

“We’re not eating on the bed,” Logan managed when they broke apart.

“Then you better set up the beanbags.” Virgil stuck his tongue out and then instantly went back to browsing. “Are you against musical Disney movies?”

“I suppose not.” Logan grimaced at the thought of the show Roman had put on. “However, I’d prefer it to not be a romance.”

Virgil’s gaze laughed back at him, as if he too was remembering the oddity of watching Roman play all parts of a romance play- although Logan had managed to escape before watching Roman passionately make out with… nobody.

And while he was sorry he had left Virgil alone for that, he was also incredibly happy he missed it.

Logan set the Chinese food down on his desk and headed over towards the hamper set off to the side of his room. It took him less than a minute to strip from his earlier dress clothes, slip into the onesie Virgil clearly wanted him in, and tie a blue tie around the front of it.

“Moana doesn’t have any romance in it,” Virgil said aloud. Before Logan could respond he muttered, “I’m in the mood for a classic though.”

Logan left him to it (Virgil would figure out what he wanted eventually) and made his way over to the ridiculously large bean bag usually set up in the corner of the room. Virgil had insisted they get it practically the moment he moved in, and Logan had to admit, the thing was quite useful.

At the moment though, it was completely covered in graphic novels Virgil read while listening to his loud emo music.

Logan sorted them onto the shelf as quickly as he could, ignoring the little “hmms” and “I hate that movies” coming from his bed. Once the beanbag was completely cleared off, Logan snatched their favorite blanket- a weighted galaxy one and sent it fluttering over the top.

“Have you picked a movie yet, Virge?”

“No.” Virgil sighed. “Yes. Maybe. I don’t know.”

“I think you’ve given me every possible meaning to that question.”

“Fuck you.”

Logan smiled softly at the familiar nonthreatening words. He tapped the back of Virgil’s legs as he walked back over to grab the Chinese food, as a quiet friendly reminder that everything was ready for him.

“Mulan,” Virgil said aloud. He twisted to meet Logan’s eyes. “Mulan? Not the hideous new one, obviously. The old one.”

“Satisfactory.”

Virgil's answering smile is bright and not for the first time in their relationship- or really not for the first time that day, Logan is reminded exactly why he fell in love with him. He said nothing as Virgil jumped up and settled into the beanbag, holding one arm out for Logan to curl into before dropping the weighting blanket over both of them.

Virgil balanced the computer on his knees and Logan used the tension of the blanket as a sort of table Chinese food. He curled into Virgil’s side, letting out a quiet breath.

“I can’t believe Mr. I-Don't-Care-About-Anniversaries got my favorite takeout for our anniversary,” Virgil teased lightly.

Logan ignored the heat rushing into his cheeks. “You still enjoy them, even if you don’t like grand gestures. I’m not above pushing aside my opinion to make you happy.”

“You are annoyingly sweet, Logan.”

Logan smiled and leaned up to kiss his boyfriend’s cheek. Virgil’s answer was to shove fried rice into his face and click the start of the movie.

“Did you know,” Logan said over the music of the opening credits, “that the true story of Mulan is a lot more feminist than what Disney was going for here?”

“Yeah?” Virgil supplied.

“Yeah. In the real folktale, Mulan’s family knew she was leaving and supported her. Plus, when the army found out she was a woman, they didn’t care and just let her stay because she was that strong of a soldier.”

Logan glanced over at Virgil and found that he was facing him, barely even an inch away. Their breath mingled and Logan's eyes darted down to his boyfriend’s lips.

“I expect you to rip this movie apart with me,” Virgil whispered.

“Obviously.”

He wasn’t sure who leaned forward first, but by the time Shan Yu had come on screen, Virgil’s lips were soft against his.

He did know that Virgil was the first to pull back and shovel another chopstick full of fried rice into his mouth.

“This guy sucks,” Virgil said, jabbing a single finger at Shan Yu. “I hope that when he goes to charge his phone, it only works at a certain angle.”

“He’s the villain- I- wait. Virgil, they don’t have phones-”

Virgil stuck a dumpling into his open mouth.

#analogical #analogicalweek #sandersides #virgil sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #fluff #anniversary

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earnmysong · 4 years ago

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the stupendous @semperlitluv - who i will be owing for a long while yet because she actually took my incessant yammering to heart and got stuck in the lucy/tim vortex with me! much 💕, dearest! - requested i expound on the following! if @pasmonblog, @megalong, @cashewdani, @firstaudrina, @somethingaboutsewing, or anyone else wants to, feel free!

name/nickname | erin or e

gender | female

star sign | living that 🦀 life

height | 5′

time | ~9pm

birthday | 7/11

favorite bands | paramore, haim, vampire weekend, jack’s mannequin

favorite solo artists | ingrid michaelson, sara bareilles, sam hunt, kelsea ballerini, all the broadway babiessss

song stuck in my head | miranda lambert’s ‘bluebird’; me? liking a miranda lambert song? WHAT IS LIFE?

last show | ‘the rookie’ - SORRYYYY, IT BASICALLY ATE ME

last movie | i watched homeward bound on disney plus for the first time since i was tiny; IT STILL FREAKING WRECKEDDDDD ME

when did i create this blog | 2012

last thing googled | ‘can kaitlyn dever sing?’ because, in ‘dear evan hansen’ it’s sort of a necessity

other blogs | nope, not a one; this is the one and only e

do i get asks | yesssss, actually, even though i still sort of fall over when i do ahahahaha! i’ve gotten the occasional request to chat about schitt’s creek or lucy/tim or winterwitch [wanda/bucky]. i also get some requests for moodboards and i once had a very nice person ask for a playlist

why i chose my url | it’s a song lyric that i thought was pretty - ‘...claim that stage / and earn my song...’

following | 209

followers | 234 - I have more followers than people i follow now? FUN :D

average hours of sleep | 7; thanks to virtual teaching and lexapro; i used to clock in at about four

lucky number | 7 or 11

instruments | my voice, i guess? not that i sing well at allll; i simply enjoy doing so!

what am i wearing | a LOCALS ONLY SoCal surf tee and star-printed leggings

dream trip | i’d love to go to russia or norway; GIVE ME COLDDDD

favorite food | pasta, chocolate chip bagels, chai lattes

nationality | american

favorite song | sara bareilles’ ‘let the rain’ OR ingrid michaelson’s ‘be ok’

last book read | david wright’s biography, ‘the captain’

top three fictional worlds to live in | i would follow the roses anywhere, jed bartlet’s/matt santos’/sam seaborn’s america, the MCU

#HI HELLO HAVE WE MET NICE TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE #about e #music #movies #my affinity for mariah never tires #semperlitluv #ladies being friends

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myarmsaretoolong · 4 years ago

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2020 Writer’s Year In Review

thanks for the tag @an-odd-idea!

Total number of completed fics: 40, most of which are whumptober prompts XD

Total number of words: 196,276! wow that’s insane!

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less or about what you expected? umm, i never really had an expectation of how much i’d write so i guess that means more! thought there’s certainly points in the year where i thought i’d get more done and didn’t because *gestures at the state of the world*

Fandoms written in: the mcu, mostly focusing on irondad!

What’s your own favorite story of the year? at one point i’d have said Born of Iron because i just had so much fun writing it, but i’ve kinda fallen out with it since then XD now i’m going to say Is Something Burning? which i also had a lot of fun writing!

Did you take any writing risks this year? well posting anything is a risk for me tbf, but i decided to take on whumptober which was a pretty big ask and i’m very happy i filled all the prompts!

Most popular story of the year: Where Do You Think You're Going, honestly i’m kinda surprised by that XD

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: i’d have to say Five Times Tony Called Peter his Son, and the One Time he Couldn't, it’s kinda a bittersweet look at tony and peter’s relationship and, even though it’s endgame compliant, it’s still got a positive ending

Most fun story to write: i guess i answered this one earlier XD either Is Something Burning? or Born of Iron

Most unintentionally telling story: am i allowed to say a story i haven’t posted yet? if so then Dear Peter Parker (my Dear Evan Hansen AU) it’s a pretty raw look at social anxiety that i may have projected myself into far more than intended XD

Biggest surprise: honestly just getting any response at all to my writing, i never thought it’d happen but now there’s a handful of people who read all my stuff and that’s really cool!

tagging @sdottkrames @hailing-stars @yes-i-am-happyaspie and @jelly-pies plus anyone else who wants to!

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5-seconds-of-bucky · 5 years ago

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Introverted (Best friends to lovers/College AU)

A/N: I was looking at prompts and listening to Dear Evan Hansen if you’re wondering why I decided to write all of a sudden. This idea kinda came out of nowhere though. I think I write too many stories about passing out too, but oh well.

Summery: You passing out is enough to make Shawn realize how much he cares about you.

Word count: 1.5k+

Warnings: There are quite a few words we’d consider baddies

To Y/N: Where are you?

To Shawn: At my dorm

To Y/N: I thought you said you’d come to the party

To Shawn: Decided not to

To Y/N: I’m coming over then

To Shawn: What? No

To Y/N: Do you have a real reason for me to not come?

To Shawn: You’re having fun at the party. Don’t bore yourself by visiting me.

To Y/N: Not possible. I’ll be there in seven.

You sighed as you read the text. To be fair, you didn’t have a real reason for him not to come over. It’s not like you had a boy over. Like you ever could when your hunk of a best friend acted like your boyfriend anyways. You had been feeling kinda sick and just overly anxious all day. A party was not the best place for you to be.

You did agree to go to it a week ago when he asked you. You smiled as you recounted the conversation.

“Come on, Y/N. I know you don’t like them that much but it’ll be fun.”

“I don’t know, Shawn.”

“Please? For me? Just this one time.”

You stared at him for a moment.

“You never go out and do stuff with me,” he bargained.

“Fine,” you huffed. He did stuff for you all the time. You could do this one thing for him.

“Yes!” He jumped up and hugged you. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, I guess. You’re such a goof.”

“But you love me.”

“Yeah.”

If only he knew how much you actually did love him; more than a friend.

Six minutes later, a knock came on your door. You got up from your bed slowly and walked over to open it up. You were met with Shawn in a hoodie and athletic shorts, fairly similar to the hoodie and shorts you were sporting.

“Why are you wearing shorts if you have a hoodie on?” you both say in a mocking voice, referring to the time when a snarky girl commented that as she passed you in the hallway. Shawn rolled his eyes and bumped into you as he walked into your dorm.

“I thought you went to a party. Why are you in such comfy attire? Also, you’re a minute early,” you say as you close the door.

“I went to my dorm and changed. I gave myself wiggle room to get here so I’m sorry I didn’t walk slow enough,” he replied, plopping down on your bed and grabbing your laptop. “What are you watching?”

“Binging The Office.” You sat down next to him and moved the laptop to your lap.

“Isn’t this like the eighth time?”

“Yes. And?”

“Don’t you want to watch anything else?”

“I’ve already watched the One Direction documentary three times this week, so no.”

Shawn leaned into you, causing you to fall on your side. “You’re so predictable.”

You sat back up and shoved his shoulder. “If you have a problem with that, you can leave.”

“Nah, I’m good. You look like you need some company.”

You didn’t say anything as you clicked play on your show. Part of you was glad he decided to join you. The other part wanted to be alone so you could wallow.

Two episodes in and you couldn’t focus on the screen in front of you. You were really starting to feel like crap. It was probably because you had been laying in bed all day and didn’t have anything to drink. Maybe you had some Gatorade in the fridge.

You got up to check the fridge but couldn’t find any, remembering that you drank the last of it a few days ago.

“Hey, I’m gonna go to the vending machine to get a Gatorade. Want anything?” you ask as you put on some sneakers.

“No, I’m good,” Shawn says, a look of concern washing over his face as he sees your disoriented look when you look up. “You okay over there? Need me to get it?”

“Oh no, I’m fine,” you wave off. “I’ll be back in a minute. Don’t watch without me!”

“What’s the difference? You know exactly what’s gonna happen.”

“Don’t unpause that show or so help me I will-”

“Yeah, yeah. Go get your drink.”

You laugh as you walk out the door, your carefree demeanor falling as soon as you closed it. You were feeling more lightheaded with every step you took.

Shawn sat on his phone in your dorm, wondering why you weren’t looking so great. You weren’t one to bail out on him like that, so something was definitely wrong. Maybe you were just being your true introverted self.

Six minutes passed and you still hadn’t come back. He was worried. Maybe you saw a friend in the hallway. It’s probably nothing.

Nine minutes. The vending machine isn’t that far down the hall. You wouldn’t blow him off twice, would you?

Eleven minutes. That’s it. He needs to make sure you’re okay.

He walked down the hallway, doing his best not to run. You were probably fine.

He turned the corner where the machine was located and found you unconscious on the floor, red Gatorade spilled beside you.

“Fuck,” he mutters. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He kneels down next to you and starts to shake you lightly. “Come on, babe. Give me those eyes.”

You started to come to it a few seconds later, eyes fluttering and a groan escaping your mouth.

“Fuck, you scared me, doll,” Shawn said softly from above you. His hand caressed your hair as your eyes darted around the room.

“What happened?” you ask as you start to sit up.

“Woah, woah, woah. Hold on there, pretty girl.” He places a hand on your chest and pushes you back to the ground lightly. “You passed out.”

“Shit, sorry.”

“No need to apologize. It’s not your fault.” He brushed a hand over your forehead and frowned. “Y/N, you’re burning up. Why didn’t you tell me you weren’t feeling well?” He pulls you onto his lap and rubs circles into your shoulder.

“I don’t know . . . I just . . . I don’t know.”

“I’m gonna get you a Gatorade and we’re going back to your room so you can rest.”

You didn’t say anything as he sat you up against the wall and bought a new drink.

“Damn, you scared me,” he said as he looped an arm beneath your legs and one behind your back, picking you up and making his way towards your dorm.

“I thought I could make it back but I guess not.” You shifted so you could lay your head on his chest.

Shawn kissed you forehead as he rounded a corner, going to his room instead of yours.

“My dorm is the other way.”

“I know.”

“Then why are we going this way?”

“Because I need to keep an eye on you and I have medicine in my room.” He swiftly opened the door and set you down on his bed.

“You really should lock your door, Shawn.”

“And you should tell me when you’re sick.”

You scoffed. “I didn’t want you to worry.”

“Look where that got us.” He gives you a pointed look as he grabs a bottle of ibuprofen.

“I’m sorry,” you say as you take the pills and Gatorade.

“I know. I’m not mad, just worried.” He takes the bottle once you’re done and places it on the desk next to his bed. He gets in next to you and wraps his arms around your torso. “Get some sleep and we’ll see how you’re doing in the morning.

Shawn would not leave you alone. You had been fine for a week and he was asking about how you felt every two seconds.

“Shawn, I am okay. It’s been a week. I’m not gonna pass out again.”

“I know, I’m just worried.”

“Yeah, I know.” You sat in silence for a second. “We could go to that party on Friday. I need to make up for last time.”

“You don’t want to go though.”

“Ahh, you know me so well.”

“You’re so introverted, but you know what? I kinda like it. Nobody else gets to see the side of you I see when we hang out instead of going to a party. The real Y/N is so cute.”

“Stop,” you whine, cheeks turning a slight pink at his comment.

“But seriously, Y/N. I need to tell you something.”

“What’s on your mind?”

“When you passed out last week, it made me realize how I felt about you. I know we’re best friends, but I love you more than a friend. You scared me so bad last week and I was so scared something really bad happened to you. It made me realize that I’m . . . I’m in love with you.”

You stopped dead in your tracks.

“Please say something. Y/N, I know we’ve been friends forever but-”

You cut him off by pulling him in for a kiss. It was enough to get the message across but it wasn’t enough.

“You could’ve told me to shut up, you know.” His smile was growing by the second.

“Yeah but this way is better,” you grinned.

“Well I hope you never stop,” he muttered, bringing a hand to your cheek and kissing you again, pulling you as close as he possibly could.

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