#this was meant to be an updated boarder for me but i do not have the patience left to colour it in

[not-handsome-enough]

The many faces of William Murderface

[narrans]

The Orion's Daughter : To Lands Beyond | Chapter 17 | How to Proceed

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Chapter Seventeen | How to Proceed

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It was an arduous process, but I was slowly but surely making my way through the documents. After Steele’s polite decline and after the Captain’s insistence as well as the insistence of his friend, he seemed to be thinking about their request for his return and counsel. Knowing Steele, that meant that he was going to sit and stare at the horizon for a few hours weighing his options and, ultimately, go with his gut feeling about the whole situation in the first place.

For this, it meant that he was not going to go.

Still, he decided to humor me and let me read through the documents the Captain and Wofur provided. The ride back on the dinghy was tense, but I couldn’t help but feel a bit of excitement at the same time. I was eager to know what was going on in the world beyond the horizon, and I soon found out.

After spending hours combing through the documents, I felt completely and utterly blindsided.

This was a bigger deal than I thought.

First, Keonune and Laryuen had some tense history with the mainland, mostly because of where they were located. Steele told me a bit about the different territories, and so I knew that the Orion living in Keonune were high in the mountains and the Orion living in Laryuen was practically a marshy swamp land.

While teaming with life in their own way, it was hardly pleasant living conditions for those in Laryuen. The documents stated they were requesting more supplies for trade, but other documents and correspondence stated that there was hardly enough on the mainland to go around and that everyone received approximately the same amount of rations.

For the inhabitants of Keonune and Laryuen, it wasn’t enough.

I kept my oil lamp close, walking along the text that was scrolled and scratched in letters as long as my arm, as I continued to read.

Evidently, this treatment and various hostilities had been going on for quite some time – and now they were all at a breaking point.

The more I read, the more I felt for the Orion and the people of these territories. It was true that everyone was receiving proper trade and equal amounts, but it was because the living conditions were so harsh that they were asking to adjust the boarder lines, which would give both the inhabitants of Keonune and Laryuen more territory than the other districts.

This was the primary crux of the issue and why they were willing to go to war.

The entire time I read, I continued to update Steele about what I was discovering. I informed him of the details and facts without him having to deal with the minutiae of the situation.

“Steele, did you know that the Orion from Keonune have pushed down from the mountains into two of the towns. They’re not occupying it, based on their claims. They’re ‘co-habitating’ according to their leader. Do you know someone by the name of Imvyr Masatar?”  

Sometimes, Steele would recognize the names and give me a summarized history of this person or that person, telling me how he knew them or some of the tactics he heard they used. While all of the information was useful, it was nowhere near some of the questions I wanted to ask him. I wanted to know about Steele’s military history. I wanted to know about the respect he commanded among the ranks of a crew of strangers. Still, those questions could wait for after he made his decision.

For now, this was the priority.

I combed through more documents, describing all of the events leading up to the most recent ones. It wasn’t until I reached one point where there was a skirmish that I noticed the name of our continent, Rascya, pop up. I shook in my shoes in disbelief and surprise as I read how the Orion of Keonune and Laryuen were now pushing into our homeland.

It was at the far east, but it was still happening.

Our home was being affected by this war of the Orion.

It was then that, from the depths of my mind, that I remembered something that the First Mate on the ship said to Steele as she helped debrief him of some of the facts.

The First Mate said that precautions and preparations were being made, and then she made eye-contact with me and glanced at my momma. It was a reluctant look, like how adults talked about children while they were in the room.

What did that mean?

My heart flipped in my chest as my mind was set to the races. Whatever it meant, it was not good – specifically for momma and for people like us. I wondered for a moment longer if there were reports in the east of what was happening or if communication was being cut off on purpose.

Were our people dying in droves and we didn’t even know?

First, I needed to know what these precautions and preparations were. My mouth suddenly felt like I had stuffed them with cotton. I looked around me and suddenly noticed that the sun was hanging low in the sky, casting the horizon in odd, haunting shades of pinks, oranges, and reds. Steele’s eyes were still clinging onto the edge of the world where the sky met the sea. Somehow, the light accentuated the subtle wrinkles and crow’s feet on his face, making dark, contrasting shadows that made him seem like a different person than the one I had learned to call dad.

I don’t know why I felt so nervous to ask him. Perhaps, in a way, I suspected the answer, but I didn’t want to confirm it.

Still, I needed to know – I had to know.

“Steele?” my voice sounded so small as I called up to him. At first, it was like he didn’t hear me. He kept his eyes, unblinking, turned toward the ocean. It wasn’t until I opened my mouth to call out to him again when he blinked slowly, drawing in a deep breath, before turning his violet eyes onto me. They looked luminous against the sky.

“Yes, Terrilyn?” asked Steele. His voice sounded exhausted and wary. It was like he knew what I was about to ask and was reluctant to share the information and resigned himself to answering, regardless of the information’s unpleasantness.

“I keep seeing the same references to preparations and precautions, and I remember the First Mate saying something about it before looking at momma and I,” I said. Steele nodded as if he could see the question behind my eyes. “What does that mean?”

Steele chewed on his bottom lip and, for the first time in a long time, turned to look back at the water without answering my question. He was nodding slowly over and over again. Anxiousness pressed in on my chest like deep water diving, surrounding me and compressing the air until it was almost unbearable. Just when I felt like I needed to break the surface, Steele responded.

“There are laws and clauses in our government that recognizes your people. You know one of them as the Directive of Noninterference. We, the Orion, know and recognize that our civilization is different than yours. We have made certain advancements that your people have not yet discovered.

“Our counsels and political figureheads of the day, long before I was around, decided it would be better if our two races did not interact very much as a whole to prevent us from accidentally tampering with your natural civilized progression,” stated Steele. His voice sounded distant and mechanical, like he needed to emotionally distance himself from the information.

“That was the one you were afraid that they were coming to arrest you for? The Noninterference directive? Telling us about your civilization and educating us? Teaching us about more efficient crop harvesting and so forth?” I asked. Steele nodded complacently.

“Yes,” he replied quietly. I was able to take one breath, but it was far from the relief that I needed. He needed to keep talking.

“Alright, I understand as much, but what about the other thing? You haven’t explained these precautions yet. Is that another directive?” I asked. The reluctant wall Steele had placed between the information and me broke. Just like before with his detached tone, he began explaining.

“There is a clause in our laws that addresses conflict, specifically about it reaching your territories. Because we know of our devastating abilities and our natural advantages, a specific clause was created to protect your people. It states that if war or conflict appears eminent, it is the counsel’s responsibility to utilize the Counsel of Archanum to preserve the cultures of different regions, cities, towns, et cetera by bringing small groups to our land, confining them to a safe location, and then relocating them once the potential hazards have been neutralized,” said Steele, his words hanging hollowly in the air.

My knees were actually shaking as I stared up at the only true father I had ever known.

Did he just say what I thought he said?

Relocating them? Moving my people? Bringing small groups to their homeland? Confining them? Relocating them? Keeping them “safe?”

It reminded me of something I read from the traveling scholars and university students about preserving wildlife in developing areas. From what Steele just said, sounded like he was talking about some kind of endangered species of lizard, not people – my people.

“But… there’s no way our people have signed off on this, right? Do our councilmen know about this? If they do, this is horrid! They’re just letting our people be relocated without general consent? Why not just have us evacuate?” I asked. Steele once again looked away from me, but this time he was shaking his head.

“No,” he said, obviously crestfallen at his admission. “Your people are kept in the dark about this particular directive for reasons. It would raise too many questions and too many would resist, condemning countless lives to death simply because some are too stubborn to relocate themselves. So, no. Your people have not given consent, and it is because of the Directive of Noninterference that we do not inform your people and simply have you relocate.”

My jaw dropped.

This was worse than I thought. The Orion – giants by our standards – were on the brink of all-out war and our citizens didn’t have any clue as to what loomed on the horizon, literally. We were sitting ducks, fish in a barrel, and we had no resources to defend ourselves and no say in how we were to proceed.

“Steele! This is an atrocity! This violates all of my peoples’ civil liberties and puts us at horrible risk. We have to tell the authorities! We need to notify the heads of our districts and inspire action.” My voice had taken on a life of its own, ringing out like some kind of patriotic orator. I felt energy surge through me as I felt true purpose.

Steele’s violet eyes, however, held a much heavier look.

“Terrilyn, these actions would be in direct violation on my part with the Directive of Noninterference. Not only that, but getting these authorities to listen to you will be an immense challenge and take time we do not have,” stated Steele. “As you read in the report, they are already on the brink of war. Things like this take time.”

I felt frustration well up inside of me. I stood defiantly and stared at my giant, Orion father. Rarely were we at odds, and this felt like one of those times.

“So, we do nothing?” I demanded. “Like cowards and the lords who are far removed from the front lines, watching and judging without residing in the slums and trenches with his people?” There was a flare in Steele’s eyes as he looked at me.

The look wasn’t that of anger, but of bruised personal pride.

“Terrilyn, my kind, sweet summer child. You do not know the atrocities of war. The logistics and persuasions, treaties and deals, are no longer viable options. Fighting is all that will stop Keonune and Laryuen now,” sighed Steele. He folded his hands and turned his eyes to the sea once again.

I looked over at the silhouette of the ship, my eyes catching the faint bit of light on the bow and stern as well as the few cabins that could be seen because of the light through the portholes.

My thoughts raged in my head as I fixated on the ship. 

How could he sound so defeated? They came to him for help because he’s dealt with this situation before. Why is he so reluctant? It’s not like he would actually be fighting, right? Or is he afraid they will arrest him for the whole Noninterference Directive thing?

My insides twisted. Right there as a silhouette on the horizon was the chance to protect my people and to prevent the death of countless lives. Right there was adventure and the chance to see Steele’s world, a place I had only imagined though dreams and descriptions he gave me.

It was heart wrenching.

Then, a thought occurred to me.

Maybe he wouldn’t go, but would that stop me?

“Dad?” I said as I kept my eyes fixed on the mast. “You said once that visitors from other lands were designated as ambassadors by default unless your counsel had someone designated for the position, right?”

My Orion father looked down at me, violet eyes stern and fierce with a play of curiosity in them.

“This is correct, but…”

“Could I go?” I asked. The words were out of me before I could even think about them. I knew this was going to bring on a discussion, but I was more than ready to continue defending my point.

This – my world and my people – were important to me.

My father’s violet eyes softened into a pensive look.

“Terrilyn, do you truly desire this?” asked Steele. “Do you truly want to go and attempt to undo the impossible?” I straightened up and looked him in the eyes. I felt overwhelmed, but excited too.

“We will not so easily be overlooked simply because of our size and advances. Perhaps we were far behind the Orion, but that didn’t mean we were only slightly superior to animals. I want to go. I need to go. This is important to me, Steele. Even if it does nothing, at least I tried. Isn’t that what you taught me to do?” I asked.

I could have sworn that beneath his stern gaze that I saw a hint of a smile turning the corners of his lips upward.

“Indeed,” Steele muttered. “Koova ka’non psion. Feylyra koova. Liehara naterma.”

I knew what he meant.

My dearest love. My daughter. Just like your mother.

I felt myself beam with pride. Evidently, I had done something right.

“Very well,” he said softly as he tore his eyes from me back to the mast of the ship. “We shall go.”

Did I hear him correctly? Go? We?

“You… you’re coming with me?” I asked. Steele nodded and tenderly placed his hand on the ground beside me. I stepped on without hesitation and crouched as he lifted his hand near his face. Those captivating violet eyes of his turned once again on me, and I felt a shiver run through me.

For a moment as my heart flipped in my chest, I saw the commander Steele once was. I felt an intimidating presence of a wise, seasoned warrior who was determined to turn the tides set before him.

“I will not allow my daughter to enter into this battle alone,” he said firmly.

I knew what I was asking. I knew what Steele was sacrificing. He was willing to travel across the world to face a world he thought he would never see again for me, and I loved him for it.

I stood and stepped carefully up to the side of his palm, holding my hands out as I used to as a much younger child. Knowing what it meant, Steele pulled his hand closer to his face and let me hug along the bridge of his nose, our foreheads pressed together as we once did.

After countless seconds passed, Steele pressed his lips against my chest and pulled away only to fixate once again on the ship.

“We have some letters to send out of courtesy to your officials to let them know of what is occurring as well as your intention to be an ambassador. Then, we must hail the ship. It will be a long night ahead of us,” stated Steele. I felt tingly all over, excitement electrifying my nerves as Steele lowered me to the ground.

“Yes, dad,” I said assertively.

Yes, the night would be long, and maybe it was all for nothing and the wheels of fate were already turning. Still, I knew in my heart that this was the right thing to do.

Grabbing my writing desk and preparing for the long night ahead, I dipped my quill and prepared to change history’s tale with nothing more than ink and perseverance. Would it be enough?

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Continue | Coming Soon

Previous

Beginning

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Book One: The Orion’s Factotum

[chicagosavant]

Dealing with a person who has some major unacknowledged personality disorder traits—of the narcissistic/border-line sort…

The absolute one-sided, self-centered perspective of reality—I see it in my patients so often, and I’ve glimpsed episodes in this particular friend over the years. But never to this extent, and so flipping disconnected from reality, where they accept absolutely no responsibility in their actions. And when the people who’ve tried to help them out mention their own particular commitments, or boundaries, regarding the situation that’s persisted longer than it was ever meant, bc of a lack of clarity in communication—that, I’ll admit both to parties sharing some responsibility (although, the BPP person certainly won’t…)—and the reactive hostile vindictiveness…omg. They’ve said their part, and we’ve said ours. Trying to reframe their actions in terms of the lack of clarity, and completely inaccurate portrayal of topics discussed is like trying to truth-sandwich an anti-Vaxer. It’s pointless, bc their version of realty is so self-absorbed, and detracts from any constructive trouble-shooting. Their poor dogs, who are the subject of this vague-post, where we’re (my partner and I) are trying to get our friend to get her damn (but actually very sweet, fairly low maintenance, but have literally been staying with us for 6 fucking months already) dogs, while our friend/ex-friend decided amid a mid-life crisis, they would up and drive 1/2 way cross-country to buffoo-NewMexico, thinking this was The Great Life ReSet—then, decided, literally after trying it for 6 wks in NewMexico-Life wasn’t happening quite as planned, and upped-n-hauled back to New-Fucking-England. En route, mentioning they needed a place to leave their dogs till they could get set up in a new apt.

Bad foresight on my part, not specifying a time-frame we were willing to watch them for (in the Midwest, btw—no where near NewEngland….). 6 months was not a part of this dialogue, till after they tell us they signed a lease on an apt, but the catch: “Oh surprise! They won’t let me have my dogs. So, as a favor to you guys, I told them I could only sign a 6 month lease bc I just couldn’t be away from my little shmoopies that long, for a full 12 months. So, it looks like you’ll be watching them into the spring (wtf??? That hadn’t been mentioned…)”. Btw, this friend is a working professional in healthcare, at a pretty cush teaching-hospital in NewEngland—not homeless/jobless/salaryless/or skilless—they can afford the $450-900 pops for their ketamine infusions, every 1-2x/month, but lament how hard-up they are financially, unable to afford a place that’ll let them have dogs. We’ve attempted to politely inquire as to any updates on her living situation a few times, in the last few weeks, especially as this 6 month lease is up in early April, and supposedly, her current landlords were considering letting her have her dogs, so she could finish out the coming 6 months on her lease. Or, bc—well, you know—finding a place, and moving and all that…also, well, we’re going out of country in early April, and we don’t want to be responsible for her dogs needing a boarder. And they’re not our dogs. She’s covered the cost of kibble (2 long-haired doxies, not that expensive anyway, but appreciated from our end), but we’ve done all the other doggy things you do when you’re not a turd, and you’re caring for fur-babies. However, We already postposed/wrote-off a few fall trips that had been in the works/planned bc of her sudden crisis-mode, and the changing goal-post of duration for which we were meant to be watching her dogs originally. So, bc we heard nothing in the last 2 months, in terms of time-frame, touching base on dates of when she’d be able to out to get her “shmoopies”, (for the record, we’d even floated the possibility of driving them out to her once she had a better idea what her plans were…), we sent an email mentioning upcoming dates that we were finally planning on going abroad to visit a friend (in 2 months, btw—about the time our friend was/is supposed to be out to get her dogs), and we were trying to figure out what game-plan was. She tells us she’s already put in for vacation, and only had a certain select number of days/dates, end of March into April, that she could be out, bc it was already approved by her employer, and there was nothing she could do to alter that, and if the dates didn’t work with our plans, well that was on us bc this is what we’d talked about in a conversation 2 months ago.

um, yeah, I don’t need to say here—this was not how that particular topic was mentioned 2 months ago. We’d batted around a general time-frame, with the understanding we’d be revisiting the dates more specifically around now, before anything was set in stone. We had no idea she’d already made plans—didn’t even know she was planning on staying with us, or she was intending to visit at that time. And proceeds to blame this whole situation on us…

Anyway—I have every sympathy for the shit-pie she keeps referring to in every-other paragraph, regarding her life-choice consequences in the last 5 years, and I hope she finds a place in her life, at some point, where she feels more in control of her circumstances. We’ve tried to help her, to the extent we were able, in the way she’d seemed to ask, but the rule of thumb with Narcissistic/BPersonalities is—the moment you mention you’re own commitments, or boundaries, they’ll come back at you, blaming you for failing every expectation of what they expect from a friend…

enough said—personal rant done…

[teddy06writes]

nonono I need more ANGST part 3 for out of his grasp/out of their grasp were reader comes back as a ghost like Ghostbur but remembers bad memories so she doesn’t remember Dream or George

Out of Their Grasp

{THIS IS THE NEW UPDATED VERSION BECAUSE APARENTLY THE FIRST VERSION WASN”T ANGSTY ENOUGH}

{real talk though I thought maybe I could change this to be more angsty cause I didn’t think the ghost thing would work}

requested by this anon: “hey hey I was wondering if you could do dream x George x reader fantasy/royal au (bc I just read "for his hand" and I love it so much!!) where reader and dream go to battle but only dream returns from it. and he has to tell George that reader died. the more angst the better😝💅”

and also this one: “will there be a part 2 of For His Hand? It’s so good, i loved it!”

{Technically you don’t have to read part one but I would recommend it because this one takes place in the same universe}

Dream x George x reader

trigger warnings: swearing, yelling, major character death, aGnSt

premise: war breaks out near the borders of the SMP, you and Dream are sent ahead of the royal party to the front lines in an attempt to stop any further battles until a peace can be reached when disaster strikes, leaving your partners to deal with the repercussions.

{dude I’m like manically laughing right now}

(y/n/n)- your nickname

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“It was just skirmishes, here and there for the last few weeks,” Sam gestured to a few spots near the northern boarder on the map spread out across the table, before pointing to another in the center of the rest, “But then, yesterday there was a huge attack on the villages, and our military bases in this valley.”

You glanced around the room, from person to person, gauging there reactions.

George had visibly stiffened in his seat, and behind him Dream seemed equal tense.

“Have we taken any measures to fight back?” Sapnap asked impatiently.

“How bad are the damages?” George asked, ignoring him.

Eret looked down at the report they’d been given, “There seems to have been more pillaging than raiding, they were breaking into peoples house, causing general destruction and looting, when our forces attempted to stop them they began to fight. All in all 30 of ours were killed and there was an estimated 10,000 in damages.”

George frowned, as Niki spoke up, “We should pay the people reparation's and help them with any reconstruction that needs to be done.”

Many people nodded, but next to you Sapnap was still unhappy, “Are we doing anything about the invaders? We cannot just sit here and allow them to attack the people!”

“Pushing, pushing.” You muttered.

The king looked at him for a long moment, before turning to Callahan, the scribe, “Attempt to negotiate a peace. I don’t want anymore bloodshed to curse this land.”

The man beside you groaned, and you were quick to elbow him in the side and Sam ended the meeting and everyone began to file out of the room, hissing, “I don’t know how they do things where you’re from but that is no way to behave in an advisory meeting. Next time you pull that shit you won’t be allowed back to one.”

-You had taken the new coming warrior on as a sort of apprentice after he’d first arrived at the palace, and it was clear the change of pace wasn’t something he was ready for-

“They can’t just stand by! The King is a fool if he thinks a peace can be reached like this!”

You glared at him. “The King is no fool.”

“You only say that out of obligation.” Sapnap fired back.

You recoiled, burned, before crossing your arms and starting out of the room, “You may be a trained mercenary but you haven’t the faintest idea as to how to hold yourself among this crowd. It will be the death of you.”

He followed you back toward your office, listening as you continued, “King George is a good and just man, to say that he is a fool is to say the sun is square. He has wiped this kingdom clean of many years of bloodshed.

“The Kings advisors, and cabinet are kind, respectable people, you must remember to hold your tongue  unless spoken too, and never say anything brash as you have done now, lest you make a greater fool of yourself.”

He huffed, “If I must stay silent in those meetings than how can I get my point across? Sending a messege to the enemy through force may be the only way!”

“Now you sound like Tommy, just as foolhardy and headstrong as the child,” You pushed the door to your office open, “I’m sure that Technoblade agrees with you, though he knows better than to speak freely.”

“If he agrees with me than perhaps it’s the right move.”

You turned to look at him quizzically, finally saying, “A wise king does not seek out war, no matter what his knights advise.”

Sapnap turned, “Then the lot of them are fools.”

“I have told you once to never disrespect the king, I suggest you don’t do it again. This land has seen it’s share of unjust rulers, be thankful you have not come here under worse authority.”

~~ That night, when the palace grew quiet, and the sky dark, you found yourself back in Dream’s quarters, an overtired, overstressed George having wedged himself between you two and refusing to move.

You sighed as Dream ran a hand through your sleeping partners hair, “He’s anxious.”

“I mean, can you blame him? War may be on the horizon.” Dream murmured.

“I meant even now- in the time of sleep. I think Sapnap is just adding fuel to the fire.”

Dream sighed, “If he has another outburst like that-”

“He’ll be cast out,” You nodded, “I know. He just needs to be willing to learn the way things go around here. In time he will learn.”

Your boyfriend chuckled to himself, “Fucking hotshot.”

“I think you’d like him, if you were able to spend more time with him.” You smiled.

“Well someone had to go snatch him up as an apprentice!”

“Well it was him or Ranboo, and Ranboo is far too- forgetful, for this sort of thing. I’d’ve had Tubbo but he and Tommy are a package set an you took ‘em.”

“What about Purpled?”

You rolled your eyes, “He started an apprenticeship with Punz ages ago.”

“SHHhhhhhhh, ‘m tryin’ to sleep.” George muttered, burying his face in your shoulder.

In the darkness of the chamber you could barley make out Dream’s eyes sparkling as he took your hand, “Course love, course.”

~~

As the weeks continued the damages on the northern boarder only seemed to grow, the new invaders claiming three of the villages there own.

There was yet another large attack on the town that had been damaged the first time, this time a direct threat left etched on the walls, ‘You have made my people suffer, and now yours shall feel the same’

“Militia, both local and our own soldiers have taken it upon themselves to fight back, almost a hundred lived lost to each side.” The silence in the room grew deafening as Sam finished reading his report, not even Sapnap daring to speak.

“Your Majesty?” Bad hazarded, “What is our next course of action?”

George frowned, glancing around the room, “Peace is still the priority. Maybe- maybe we call a ceasefire, I could meet with there ruler-”

“No,” Dream interrupted, drawing all eyes to him, “It would be too dangerous. How do we know they can be trusted to lay down there arms?”

George shot him a look, “How do we know that we haven’t done anything to provoke them? Whatever we have done wrong we need to fix it. If we can work something out then people will be spared on both sides.”

“Shall we arrange for a ceasefire?” Eret asked.

The King nodded as Wilbur spoke up, “We could set up a meeting place, on neutral ground, possibly similar to the holy lands, so there would be no worry of a security breech.”

Dream seemed to relax at this, and then eyes were turned to you and Sapnap, representing the royal guard, “We can, but even so we should stay vigilant, perhaps send a group ahead with the runners to see too it.” You said, noting the gratitude on Dream’s face, as well as the slight annoyance on George’s.

“Well I see no one better to attend to the King’s safety than you,” Bad said, “You shall go with the party, and Technoblade with you, Sapnap can remain here to take over your day to day duties.”

The man in question quietly shot you a pleading look, at which you sighed, “With all do respect I think Sapnap could be better severing to the crown if he joined the running party.”

Bad glanced around to the others, looking for any objections before shrugging, “We can find someone else to do the work. So that’ll be you, Technoblade, Sapnap, and we can send the usual scouting party, and Sam shall go with again.”

~~

You sighed, tracing an absent pattern on George’s side, listening to Dream’s ramble about how dangerous the idea that had been decided on at the meeting was.

“Finding peace is the priority, you can’t can’t change that.” George mumbled.

“That doesn’t mean it’s not dangerous!” Dream protested.

“It’ll be fine, We’ll have a perimeter set up with guards and everything. I’ll make sure none of them can even get near him with such intent.” You yawned.

The blonde huffed, “That just makes me more worried.”

“Don’t you trust me?” Your hand blindly sought his, “I’m going to do everything in my power to keep the ceasefire from being broken.”

“I know.” Was the only quiet response you received.

The next morning found you suiting up and heading out to the stables to tack up your horse. Techno was already down there, idly chatting with Phil as he readied Carl for the journey, and out in the courtyard you could see Sapnap talking to two men.

“Good morning, (y/n)!” Phil chirped, waving your direction.

“Morning Phil.” You moved down the row, reaching out and letting Beckerson nuzzle into your palm.

After getting your horse cared for and saddled, the rest of the party had headed out of the stables as your partners entered.

George took your hand, “Don’t start any more trouble.”

“Sounds like your talking to Dream not me.” You chuckled.

“Hey!” Dream protested.

“I’m not wrong!” You teased.

George rolled his eyes, quickly pulling you in for a kiss, “Make things good for me to be out there.”

“Stay out of trouble.” Dream advised, pulling you away from George to kiss you himself.

“You underestimate me.” You smirked, grabbing Bekerson’s reigns.

Dream rolled his eyes as you started to lead the horse out of the stable, calling, “And stay safe!”

“I’ll see you in five days!” You chuckled, heading out of the stables and quickly mounting your horse, kicking at his sides to catch up with the others.

~~ The last few days had been spent anxiously waiting, and now the journey to the norther board was coming to a close.

Dream rode alongside the carriage, eyes following the strange trail of smoke on the horizon; something was wrong, he could feel it.

The quiet, almost calm of the morning was slowly being cut through by a growing noise, and then finally shattered as one of the runners sent ahead to signal their arrival came crashing through the trees looking panicked.

“What’s going on?” Punz asked.

“They attacked! They broke the ceasefire!”

Dream’s brain surged with panic as he turned to where George and his advisors were starting to climb out of the carriage asking why they had stopped, “Turn around! It isn’t safe here! Go! Punz! Tommy! Ponk! Get them out of here!”

Before he could even stop to see if they were following his orders he was rushing forward down the road, urging Spirit to go faster as the road widened into the village.

Dream was met with nothing but chaos, the royal insignia’s on the tents set up in the field were aflame, and the clashing of swords filled his ears as the royal army and the few commoners who could fought back against the pillaging people.

“About time you showed up!” Sapnap yelled from halfway across the field, “We could use some fucking help!”

“No shit!” Dream yelled back, dismounting and unsheathing his sword.

Almost immediately another person came barley towards him, throwing him into combat.

He cut his way across the field, taking down people here and there, still searching the carnage for you.

Eventually he made it to where Sapnap had just disarmed and knocked out another opponent, “Where are they?”

His eyes danced around the wreckage, “Could be anywhere, saw ‘em trying to get the townspeople out of the way.”

Dream cursed, running off the direction of the village, calling you name.

The fighting continued, the addition of the extra royal guardsmen helping turn the tide of the battle, though Dream still couldn’t locate you on the battle field.

The invaders, or what was left of there battalion began to retreat, but still Dream could find no sign of you, the now all too quiet valley erupted into noise as another skirmish broke out.

Taking off at a sprint he made it up the hill to find you locked in combat with another warrior.

You panted, throwing up you shield to block another strike from his axe before shoving forward and swing your sword at his spear wielding hand.

He wasn’t excepting this, and the spear clatter out of his hand, the shock on his face giving you enough momentum to keep pushing forward, throwing attack after attack at the man as he edged backward.

You had just managed to shove him to the ground when a cry broke your attention.

“(Y/N)!!”

You turned to see Dream, smiling, words starting to form on your lips as a spear suddenly drove through your chest.

“NO!!!!!” Dream shrieked, charging forward and quickly slashing at the mans throat before turning to where you had fallen in the grass.

“T-that one was your fault.” You mumbled as he did his best to pull your shaking body into his arms, “You-ou had t-to go distract-ing me.”

“I know,” tears flooded his eyes, “It’s gonna be okay, I’m gonna get help.”

You did your best to smile through your fear, “What would G-George say if he saw you here cuddling m- m- me without him? Huh?”

“(Y/n)....”

“Bad time for a joke I guess,” you shaky voice was disrupted by a painful cough wracking your body, “Never real-really planned on being r-r-ran through with a spear this morning.”

“It’s gonna be okay! It’s- it’s gonna be okay!” Dream desperately pushed your hair out of your face, head whipping around to where the royal soldiers were beginning to regroup, “WE- I need a medic! Please! We need a medic!”

It was the first time you’d ever heard him sound so distraught, gently you reached up to his face, “Dream- Clay, leave it alone, they won’t be able to- to do anythi-ng.”

You coughed again as he turned back to you, “Don’t say that! Don’t say that!”

“It’s just my time d-d-darling,” You gasped at the pain brought by him trying to pull you closer, “You- you gotta let go.”

“NO! You’re not gonna die! You’re not gonna leave! I won’t let you!”

“I d- don’t have your permission to d-die?” The spots floating in your vision began to grow larger, blocking out spot of his face, and the sky.

“No! You don’t! You’re not leaving! I’m not letting you!” He said desperately.

“You’ve- g-got too...”

He glared down through the valley, barking out, “I said I need a medic! Someone! Please! They need help!”

There were people hurrying up the hill now, not that you could see, as Dream continued to yell.

The spots began to grow even bigger, merging together until darkness fully overtook you and you slipped from there grasp, “I’m sorry...”

Dream tore his gaze from the approaching medical team, looking down at your now limp body, “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no-”

“You can’t leave! You- your not allowed to leave us! You- you can’t- I- I didn’t give you permission to die!”

He blubbered, still trying to pull you closer to him, as if he held you tighter you wouldn’t have slipped away.

“You can’t go! I didn’t say you could go! You can’t leave! You can’t.....”

Then people were pulling you away from him, and Sapnap was pulling him up, and leading him away.

~~

“Your highness, news of the attack on the boarder has returned.”

George stopped his anxious pacing a Wilbur led in a scarily calm Technoblade and a visibly shaking Dream into the room, Sapnap still with a firm grip on his shoulder.

“What happened? Where’s (y/n)?”

Dream started to shake more at the mention of your name, and Techno stepped forward, “(y/n)- died in combat two days ago.”

George stayed silent, so he continued, “They died a hero’s death defending our kingdom.”

The king waved them away, “Out, please.”

Wilbur nodded, and quickly Sapnap and Technoblade followed him out of the room, leaving Dream to slowly move toward George, pulling him into his arms, tears coming from both men.

“It was my fault. They were fighting- an- and I distracted them.”

“You- you what?” George croaked.

“I wasn’t thinking,” He said quietly, ducking his head as George pulled away, “Th- they died in my arms George!”

“Wh- what have you done?”

Dream looked at him in shock, “What do you mean?”

“Tell me what happened.” It was a command, said in a way Dream had never heard directed at him.

“I got there- there was fighting, when the fighting died down I still couldn’t find them- then I heard another fight- on the ridge, I got up there, and It seemed like they had won, I yelled there name- and-” He broke off, barley muffling a sob.

“You all but killed them yourself.” George muttered.

“I didn’t- th- I- George.” Dream grappled for words.

“You killed them.”

“I didn’t! George I know it’s my fault, but-”

The King just shook his head, turning and silently stalking out of the room.

~~

The castle seemed to stay in mourning for weeks, the kings council having to take over as the king stayed shut up in his chambers, refusing to talk to anyone.

The King’s Knight became more and more vocal during meetings, providing insight on how to get back at the enemy, amplifying Sapnap’s voice.

Then, as plans were being finalized, Dream was met by another figure as he sat in front of your grave.

“You think this will make up for what you’ve done?” Georges voice was horse, rough, as if he hadn’t spoken in days, though still laced with the same venom as when he’d found out.

Dream nodded, remaining quiet as he traced the hilt of his blade.

“Tomorrow then?”

Again Dream nodded, looking down at the copy of the note that had been sent to the enemy:

‘Holy water cannot stop me now, a thousand armies couldn’t keep me out. I don’t want your money, I don’t want your crown, see I’ve come to burn your kingdom down’

[bloodxbat]

(Part 2) The girl Mafia George x Fem! Y/N Series

Warnings: Swearing! (message if I missed any)

Word Count: 2K

Summary: George Weasley is a renowned Mafia boss who took over from his Father Arthur once he retired, to carry on the Triple W mafia legacy. The only mafia known to be able to keep the Death Eaters (their rival mafia) at bay. However there is one item that they stole from the Triple W’s which George is determined to get back…his mothers necklace, the family heirloom. Y/N Greyback has been forced to comply with the Death Eaters wishes as her family are high up members. What happens when George and Y/N meet? And what happens when they fall in love?

Series Masterlist

George couldn’t get the mystery girl from last night out of his head. Was it truly his mother’s necklace that he saw lying on her neck? It couldn’t have been, one of his men would have seen her enter Diagon if it was, either that or they would have already caught her roaming the streets. He didn’t recall seeing a dark mark tattoo on her left forearm, so she couldn’t have been a part of Riddle’s crew. Unless of course, they had gotten smarter and realised that them all having the same tattoo was a big give away. George couldn’t focus, he was sat in the Leaky cauldron, attempting to each his breakfast but continuing to get lost in thought. 

Soon, George felt his pocket buzz, indicating that he had gotten a message on the phones that him, Fred and Ron had all gotten in order to keep in touch. He flipped it open seeing a text from both of his brothers, the usual update saying that ‘No one has yet been caught or seen trying to leave or enter Diagon’. The members stationed all round the boarder of the town were doing an excellent job, George had full trust in them that they had all been keeping an extremely close eye out for any suspicious or unusual behaviour. 

George had well forgotten about his breakfast an morning coffee, trying to figure out any more ways he can ensure that Diagon was free from any Death Eater bastards. Being a mafia boss didn’t come naturally to George, so it was at times like these he struggled most, his mind racing with unreliable memories of the girl from last night and the necklace she was wearing. Hitting the table in frustration, George places his head in his hands and sighed. 

He wasn’t one to confront a lady, but when it came to his mother’s necklace, he really had no choice, he had to find out where she was staying, who she was, and if she was in fact a Death Eater. 

-

Y/N woke up the next day satisfied with what she had managed to achieve last night. She didn’t know much of George Weasley’s appearance other than the fact that he was tall and ginger. Which suited exactly the description of the man she had bumped into last night. Another thing she hadn’t expected was for him to be so handsome. 

In all honesty Y/N felt it was cruel what she had been sent to do. She hated knowing that she would essentially be leading George to his death. Y/N has never agreed with the rulings that Riddle made, she felt that what he was preaching for was extremely prejudice, he wanted to get rid of every poor family so that “the rich could thrive”, Y/N’s heart deep down was set on truly helping those who weren’t as well off as the others. 

Thoughts of going behind her family’s back and instead helping George take away all power from Riddle had become extremely prominent in her mind. She knew what she had to do, she had to find George Weasley again, whilst under cover so that the Death Eaters that are currently staying within Diagon don’t report back that they had seen her with George Weasley, the very man they’re trying to kill. 

Her mind was set, she was going to purposely seek out George Weasley tonight and tell him everything her family and the rest of the Death eaters wish to do to him, and Triple W. Along with their plans to get rid of all poor people in England. 

-

George had long since given up on his breakfast, and was now making his way back to the old fashioned bar in which Triple W held all of their meetings. As he walked through the building in which the HQ as it were, was located, he could hear a slight murmuring of voices coming from the bar room. Them most likely being the voices of other Triple W members catching up like they normally would, before a meeting began. 

George walked into the smoke filled room, heading straight to the back where his seat sat in the centre, almost as if it were a throne looking for a king. He stood in front of his chair, clearing his throat as he looked round the room gaining the attention of the men and women before him. 

“As many of you may know, we have had our first night with members scattered round the boarders of this town, and so far there has been no sign of anyone attempting to leave or exit Diagon”

Triple W members began to whisper their frustrations at the lack of Death Eaters being caught.

“Now I know this may seem bad news for right now as we haven’t caught any of those bastards quite yet, BUT, we also need to look on the bright side of things. This also may well mean that we are also, so far safe from any spies getting information of our whereabouts. This meeting is only a short one tonight boys…and ladies, so unless anyone has anymore questions or information they wish to put forward, you are all welcome to go back home, or stay and enjoy a drink” 

George stepped away from where he was standing and went over to his brothers. 

“So really no further info or suspicions for any Death Eaters, coming in or out, isn’t that suspicious I mean surely they would have sent someone by now” Ron says clearly not convinced that no information has been passed down.

“I was thinking that too y’know” Fred added

“Look, I agree, I surely think that if they were really serious about taking us down they would’ve sent a spy, but they haven’t. There is no doubt in my mind that they are dead set on killing each and every one of us, so this could be their tactic. Let us believe that no one is coming, therefore they wait until we eventually let out guards down, so they have easy access and a higher chance of getting to us” 

“You’re not gonna let that happen though Georgie, surely” Fred said

“No of course not, all I’m saying is that this could be their plan, we’re not going to give up to easily just because we get bored due to there being no action, alright so just sit tight because we could be like this for months”

Fred and Ron’s faces both changed into realisation that that could indeed be true. 

“Now, I’m gonna head back to the leaky cauldron to relax, keep me posted if any of the guys near you see anything”

With that, George walked out the room, into the streets and made his way back to the Leaky Cauldron, smiling at locals as they passed. Once at the pub he sat down right in the corner, only ordering a glass of water, picking up the local newspaper, ignoring once again the thoughts of who the mystery girl truly was that he had bumped into last night. 

He felt a tad bit guilty for not telling Fred or Ron about how he had briefly spoken to a woman, about his age, wearing a necklace that looked suspiciously like the one that was stolen from their mother years ago. Before they were born. 

George didn’t know much about the exact origins of his mothers necklace. The basic story he knew was that, his family used to be extremely poor, living off of pennies, barely getting by. Having 5 children at the time wouldn’t have helped either, more mouths to feed, less money to do so. That was until his Father got a massive promotion and therefore a raise in wage at his job. As a treat his Father bought his Mother a beautiful, diamond necklace to remember and symbolise that no matter how much they were struggling, that they were always going to find a way to get past it. Thus it became the most price possession to the Weasley family, becoming their heirloom. You can only imagine the hurt that George’s mother felt when she came back to their house one evening, to find the windows smashed and her necklace gone. 

George was too young at the time to understand fully, the impact that the loss of that necklace had on his mother and father, and what it meant to them. But as he grew, and his father created Triple W in order to track down the people who stole it. 

-

Y/N had gotten dressed, in a smart but casual outfit. She didn’t have any desire to be immediately spotted today so she had taken off the diamond necklace and placed it in her bag. She decided that she would try and seek out George today, as she wasn’t expected to have a meeting with another under cover Death Eater until tomorrow, to update them on her progress. 

Y/N had decided to make her way down stairs to the pub area of the Leaky Cauldron. As she made her way down the stairs she couldn’t help but notice a fiery red colour sitting in the corner, in her peripheral vision. 

She turned her head only to see the one and only George Weasley, sat with a glass of what looked like water, his head stuck in the local newspaper ‘the Daily Prophet’. Even though he had the paper up at eye level and was scanning it back and forth, his furrowed eyebrows and blank expression told her that he wasn’t really reading the newspaper, and that something else was on his mind. 

Y/N reckoned it must have something to do with the people she has been forced to work for her whole life. She tentatively began to walk toward the ginger man. She could feel her heartbeat quicken, what is his reaction going to be when she tells him that she actually works for the people he is dedicating his life to defeating and that she is actually in possession of his mother’s extremely expensive and extremely valuable diamond necklace. Her hearing began to focus only on the beating noise of her heart and the noise of her shoes hitting the ground with every step as she walked closer and closer to George’s table. 

She could feel the tension rising as if he already knew she was there and who she was. She had caught herself momentarily holding her breath, making her feel light headed and even more anxious at the confrontation she was about to engage in. To say she was scared of George was an understatement, she knew nothing about George or his character. For all she knew he could freak out and kidnap her away to wherever they had their meetings, and torture her for answers. At least, that’s what Riddle would do if the roles were reversed. The only thing that was helping motivate her feet to move closer and closer towards him, was the tiny speck of hope, that he was different to the people she had grown up around. 

Her feet came to a halt after what felt like forever, she looked at the man in front of her with a some what calm expression. Y/N cleared her throat gaining the attention of George, who put his newspaper down on the table in front of him, meeting her eyes with his dark hazel coloured ones. Y/N smiled weakly at her before speaking. 

“H-hi”

“Hello, you’re that lady that I bumped into last night aren’t you? I’m awfully sorry about that by the way, I hope I didn’t hurt you” he replied, she could hear the genuine concern for her safety which put her mind more at ease, maybe he was nice, maybe he wasn’t the type of mafia boss to torture people. 

“Yeah I am, and I’m the one who should be sorry I wasn’t looking where I was going” 

“No need it’s all good, what can I do for you?” He smiled

Y/N gulped down any nerves she felt, in order to stop her voice from trembling, she was terrified, not only of George’s possible reaction, but also of Riddle and any other Death Eaters that might see her with him, betraying him. 

“We need to talk” 

Taglist: @amourtentiaa​ @love-peachh​ @pens-and-roses​ @rosietoesy​ @comfortwriting​ @famdomhideout​ @dracofknmalfoy​ @pandaxnienke​ @georgeweasleysbabe​ @le-weasley-simp​ @skarlettmikaelson​ @gaycatlord-stuff​ @midgardianweasley​ @writing-wh0re (MESSAGE/ASK IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED)

[ispent5hrscreatingavalidblogname]

I almost always write n post what I'd call a kinda new person insight/experience,what am curious about and what I've noticed on every social platform I recently opened an account on-after some few days or weeks of using it,if it takes so long or never for me to write my silly little opinions it means am not feeling the site or not vibing with it-but I guess am feeling it here,so here's my observations

(DISCLAIMER:I'm currently pretending I'm a highschool student again doing some of those their weird experiments so my observations are going to be arranged in that format-dont ask me why)

EXPERIMENT #1 :sign in to the site and create your profile (when the fish is new to the waters what does he do-does he know he is meant to swim or does he jus accepts he has to swim)

OBSERVATION:

Okay,so after I've registered my email and created my username (which I properly recall wasn't that har...you know what Im not going to lie,lets jus forget about that aweful memory for a sec)as well as provided all the information they guaranteed me was necessary i was finally granted access into the site(ok I can hear you rolling your eyes and muttering "isn't that why you're here,I think that's pretty obvious" buh what you should be really wondering is how the f**k I heard your eyes rolling,I mean does it make some sound when it rolls and even with that how did I hear it when you are reading a text I wrote many hours ag.......ok enough of that now).As I was saying "finally I was granted access into the site' so I was now like what do I do from here buh I think tumbrl was aware of of my distress and inexperience with that sort of thing that they kindly offered me with a list of topics I may be interested in to choose from,and when someone offers you something kindly no matter what it is-a piece of clothing,a kiss or even some mighty feast you are sure your stomach can't handle at once you accept it and eat it like a man...or a woman(even though it jus means you're a glutton)so I made sure I picked every single topic-yeah every single one.So after I cleared this part,I saw the very first post I ever read in this site(I'd be revealing what this was in some other post,some other day) that's when I went onwards to experiment #2

EXPERIMENT #2: Edit And Customize Your Page (Because he has been given control of who he becomes he sees he has the ability to shape himself and therefore shape the things around him and accepts he has become god,but so soon he forgets he was given that ability in the first place)

OBSERVATIONS:

Alright this was actually my favorite part of all the processes,adding my own touch to my page turning it the way I want I see now though that I've not totally finished this process there are still alot of things I wish to still update on my page but am sorry I haven't really had time to spend alot of time online or even on any platform nowadays but I hope things would clear up soon.So I started customizing the page the way Id feel comfortable with profile pics and Everything,I found myself using the color light blue as my page theme(am not really sure what the exact color is buh am sure it has B.L.U.E in it's name),for one thing Im not really crazy about blue sometimes I even try avoiding it buh I've found out the color always have a way of finding it's way around and into my graps,like a good chunk of my clothing's have a touch of blue on it,the footwears I've been rocking for some while now all have a touch of blue,my lamp I use for late night studies has it,my new notebook I use for writing and pitching ideas to myself has a blue lined design across the boarders of it,and my phone when I picked a color at random I thought I will end up with something like pink or black for my troubles........Out of 12 colors to choose from you'd think I might have really escaped blue well guess what-am using a totally blue backed phone right about now so that turned out to be a bad idea,well I guess there are really some things we can't jus escape,mine had to be the color blue 😢

Okay,I think I've written enough for one day...tommorow I'd be posting some more OBSERVATIONS about this site,things i have one or two things to say about....I'd be serious this time I promise.

[vesperlionheart]

Mamihlapinatapei - The look between two people in which each loves the other but is too afraid to make the first move. For KisaSaku. :D

KisaSaku & a belated happy birthday for @darth-salem-emperor-of-earth!

(Sort of a companion fix to This One)

‘In matters of inheritance in the land of Kirigkure, the country is old and small enough to cultivate its leftover practices from the oldest days, when Kiri citizens had to fight tooth and nail to protect what was once only a small fishing inlet. Their monarchy equivalent is selected from the previous ruler and approved by a majority vote from the three departments.’

“It shouldn’t count until an official hearing is held to conclude such matters,” Sakura grumbled to mostly herself. Mei was the least sympathetic out of all her supporters when it came to Sakura’s mood and opinions on her stupid country inheritance.

When Mei heard Sakura’s grumbles she only giggled and added another ‘grievance’ scroll to the ever increasing pyramid of incoming missives that would need to be addressed by the end of the day. “Honestly, you have no one else to blame but yourself. What did you expect would happen when you arrived on our borders with all of Tsunade’s tutelage and the copy nin’s keen sense for seeing underneath the underneath? You thought we’d let you go?”

Speaking of Kakashi made Sakura remember the old man’s poor advice: “Just go and check them out. Get in a few fights, drink a little and show them how terrible of a leader you would really be.”

That had worked out terribly.

While Sakura was legally considered a citizen of Kiri, she had grow up outside its boarders and adapted to the culture of the Fire Country where it mattered to have manners with strangers. Her strategy had been to walk in with a buzz and a beer in hand, provoke a shop keep, fight a swordsman-a legendary swordsman-and curse her way out of town. Everything had been going tremendously well, except actually it hadn’t. Kiri was wet in more ways than one and Sakura had unwittingly impressed more than just a few curious eyes with her tolerance of the local booze. Shit talking was seen as a greeting amongst Kiri locals, and fighting might as well have been synonymous with hugging.  

“They’ll kick you out soon enough and you’ll be back home before you know it.”

For not the first time, Sakura lamented Kakashi’s backhanded advice. When she berated him about it later on he only congratulated her on the revitalized economy, the updated hospitals, and all her efforts towards dismantling the caste system. Sakura’s protest that she never meant to do any of that fell on deaf ears.

The trial month was nearly over and plans had already been made to install her as their Mizukage, a position that would put her on par with her one time teacher, the Hokage in the Land of Fire. There was a lot of pomp and ceremony the elders were caught up in that pushed back the actual initiation-but the decision had been made and Sakura’s will was not enough to reject the concessions of the Trident-or the three seats of the Mizukage’s cabinet.

Mei made up the executive branch of the Trident, while the seven swordsmen made up the military branch. Yagura was the head of Economics and the mouthpiece of the Elders who weighed tradition against advancement. Sakura’s job would be to balance all three of their voices and carry the responsibility of any decision they came up with. Only a 3 to 1 vote could overrule a Mizuekage’s executive orders.

“Have you chosen your Second Shadow, yet?” Mei asked.

“I’m actually hoping that if I don’t that this whole party thing can get called off,” Sakura sassed back to Mei, already half finished with the next scroll and all but made up on her finial verdict for the request it presented.

“Have you looked at my boy?”

“Chōjūrō is a sweet kid and will make a fine swordsman one day,” Sakura answered diplomatically.

“But…?”

Sakura looked up and glared. “He’s as shy as an Angel Fish and he still somehow came up with the idea, completely on his own with no help from anyone, to wait for me in my hotel room in a silk robe and slippers and nothing else.” Sakura’s tone was heavy with sarcasm. “I don’t take kindly to attempts of coercion.”

“The kid just wanted your favor and you would hold that against him?” Mei playfully teased.

“I didn’t appreciate it, Mei. Don’t bully your boy into my bed.”

Mei rolled her eyes and picked through the finished missives Sakura had set to the side. “He needed the encouragement. He wouldn’t have done it, even though he wanted to, without some help.”  

“I’m not like you, I don’t enjoy robbing the cradle.”

Mei snorted. “Okay then, babe, tell auntie what your type is?”

Sakura paused and looked up over her next scroll. “Why?”

“Can’t you just believe I’m curious? Why do you have to sound so suspicious of every one of my questions? I’m honestly just curious.”

Sakura’s expression turned blank but Mei didn’t seem to care. “Sure, and my answer would have nothing to do with an attempt by you and the elders to set me up with a nice local boy who will convince me to stay. Suuuuure.”

“So if you’re not interested in our little prince, what abut the naughty type. Suigetsu doesn’t have anyone right now.”

“I thought you were trying to convince me to stay, not scare me off. That starfish can’t keep a relationship on lock for more than a month for a reason, and it isn’t the fault of any of his partners.”  

“So the naughty type is a turn off. What about the daddy type?”

Sakura’s face made an expression of horror. “Gross.”

“Not literally a daddy, don’t look at me like that. You might be surprised so don’t knock it till you try it. I’ll put that down as a ‘maybe’ for now.”

“Please don’t.”

There was a knock on the door and Sakura shouted out for them to enter before Mei could even turn around. A half second later Sakura realized her mistake when she saw Mei’s gloating face. The office already felt like it was Sakura’s.

Damn.

“What?” Sakura barked a bit rudely when Yagura stopped in front of her desk.

 “There’s an issue with deployment.”

“Why are you telling me this? Aren’t Kisame and Zabuza usually the ones who tell me what’s shit with their nin?” Sakura dropped her scroll and leaned back in her seat before waving for him to continue. “What is it?”

If Yagura was bothered by her rude address he didn’t let it show on his face and he never let it carry over into their conversations outside of work. “More of the Kaguya raiders are making issues for the settlements but we don’t have the resources to send out anyone to deal with it. Kisame and Zabuza are both off on missions you approved.”

“This really requires an S ranked response?” Sakura asked, knowing there were few others who could do what Kisame and Zabuza did. If Yagura was asking for either of them he deemed the threat S ranked.

“I’ve already written up the details of the response we’d need.” Yagura produced a thinner scroll and Sakura took it as it passed over her desk.

“If we didn’t have one of the swordsmen on this we’d need at least two dozen nin and we just don’t have those kind of numbers right now.”

“What’s the best we can do?” Sakura asked while rolling back in her chair to check the chart on the wall with a dozen different secret symbols that helped keep her up to date on the military numbers. It showed how many nin of different rank were deployed, how many were wounded, how many were undercover, and how many were available for deployment. It still took Sakura a minute to decipher everything on the chart but she would have it like a reflex by the end of the month.

“Eight.”

Sakura made a face. Eight was a really low number and it was her fault they were in this situation in the first place. She had gambled and played the number game with her nin. Kiri always needed a coalition of soldiers to defend it in case of invasion, and so even if there were over two dozen shinobi at home, she couldn’t touch those.

“Kisame is due back this afternoon, how time sensitive is this issue?”

“It depends on how much the lives of these colonists matter. They’re notorious for skirting on tax payments and regularly sell their produce to rival groups before our citizens.”

“But they are our citizens,” Sakura clarified. They lived outside the walls of Kiri and were largely bitter old marsh farmers and fishermen, but they were culturally more Kiri than Sakura.

“It would be a shame to loose their assets,” Yagura honestly answered. “The Kaguya clan would only grow emboldened if they took over the rest of this territory for themselves.”

Sakura was already standing, pulling off her robes. “Mei, tell Kisame to head over to the settlements as soon as he gets here, even if he’s on fumes. Just the sight of his big blue mug will send some of them running.”

“What are you doing?” Mei asked, eyes wide.

“I’m dealing with this. I still have my rank from Konoha. I should be sufficient with these four,” Sakura said while showing off the mission scroll with her name and four others filled in. “I’ll let them know personally. Yagura will-”

“I understand. I’ll stand in until you’re back.”

“You can’t leave, you’re our Mizukage,” Mei agrued. “That’s against customs. If you fall-”

“I’m not Mizukage yet and you still can’t tell me what to do,” Sakura warned before stalking out of the office with hands itching for a fight.

Hours later her Kabutowari was soaked with blood on both ends, both the hammer and the axe head had been fed enough blood and savagery to sate its appetite for carnage. Sakura was proud of their success and how cheep it cost. Not a single soul on her unit had been seriously wounded or lost and that was quite an accomplishment considering the Kaguya attacked in bands of eight to twelve.

“It’s cause we got to fight with our Mizuekage that our moral was so high,” old man Jinin cheered, looking ready for a stiff drink and maybe an audience who could listen to his tall tales and elaborations on the day’s battle.

Haku came up beside Sakura and touched her elbow to get her attention and she leaned in while he whispered the status of the nin’s health along with the injury inventory. It was a new step Sakura wanted utilized when units emerged from battle. If hospital records could be updated with a complete list of all injuries-including those treated and healed on the battlefield- it would help in future diagnostics.

Haku had helped develop the program and sell it to the other medic trained min. He had been invaluable in helping roll out new changes and on the battlefield his skill set had complemented her fighting style well, since he was more of a long range fighter while Sakura liked to deal damage up close.

“We’re good to go then,” Sakura sighed. “I’m tired. Someone treat me to hot saké once we’re back,” she playfully whined only to get a roar from the men and women on her team. 

Haku kept close to her side and walked with her until they got to the natural mist. Sakura gave the signal and the rest of her team blurred into the fog and took off like birds in a dive, unseen and deadly.

“You wanted to ask me something?” Haku queried.

Sakura was about to say yes but something else caught her eye and she pat Haku’s back in dismissal. “It can wait until after we’re back. I need to catch Kisame up but I’ll see you at the Drunken Whaler.”

Haku turned and saw Kisame emerging from he fog with the blood and grime from his last fight still stuck to his uniform. The two locked eyes and Haku nodded first before taking off.

“So, are you slipping for any particular reason or are you just getting old?” Sakura teased while approaching Kisame.

“Hey, no jokes about my age when my boss orders me to pull a double shift. Slave driver actually expected me to do some good here. Shows you what she knows.”

“Maybe she just wanted you to see what she could do, ever consider that?” Sakura teased back, shouldering her Kabutowar’s axe end on her shoulder while she carried the hammer half with an idle swing in her left hand. The weight never bothered her but she wondered how her weapon would react to a new pair of hands.

“How willing are you listen to your bad ass boss?” Sakura asked.

“You mean my hard ass boss?” Kisame teased back. “Dunno, it depends on the request. Does it involve drinking?”

“Eventually all decisions and requests involve drinking, but not yet. We can get sloshed at the Drunken Whaler with the rest of them but before we get that far…” Sakura rolled the axe head off her shoulder and held it out. “Wanna trade?”

Kisame whistled low and reached up to rub at some of the blood on his chin with the heel of his hand. The twilight was creeping in but the clouds were heavy and low so everything shaded in tones of gray and diluted yellow. Sakura saw a fragment of that sunken gold color in Kisame’s shark eyes when he looked at her weapon, but she wished he’d been looking at her.

He reached over his shoulder and rolled Samehada off his back, letting the bandages drop. The trade off was as natural as any other tradeoff would be between the swordsmen. If the seats hadn’t been filled Sakura might have replaced Haku as a swordsman, since she had a legendary blade and he didn’t. If she had been a swordsman she might have had the chance to do this earlier and with more than just Zabuza’s Kubikiribōchō, but she wasn’t a swordsman and this wasn’t a guaranteed thing.

“Thank you,” Sakura said before Kabutowari finished leaving her hand.

“Careful with him, Samehada can-oh, ya know, never mind. He’s a bitch that’s roll over for anyone with tasty chakra, I shouldn’t have worried for ya,” he chuckled while watching the handoff.

With issue, Sakura held the massive blade level and admired its scale pattern in the gray twilight. There was a delightful shiver as it sucked on her chakra and swallowed it down like a drunk with fine wine. Sakura could feel it purr not unlike how Kabutowari would in her mind once they were linked.

“Let’s see how you like this,” Sakura cooed before swinging Kisame’s blade against the wind and  stepping into the dance she had first learned for Kabutowari with minor adjustments since she was wilding Samehada in one hand. She felt it tense and almost cut at her hand but settled down as it realized what she was playing at.

Samehada cut into the fog and then shaved it down into a finer mist before wrapping it up around Sakura the way the first swordsmen would, back in the old days when chakra was still too wild to name and gods dared to walk amongst the children of men.

Through the mist and over her shoulder Sakura could see Kisame have fun on his own, dancing through the same steps with her two handed Kabutowari, showing mastery of the finer points in spite of his bulk. At first glance Kabutowari seemed too heavy and burly a weapon to expect any delicacy with, but if one wanted to unlock it’s full potential they would have to know more than just the brutal steps that wrought the most damage, they would need to know how to dance and make both the axe and hammer sing.

She watched Kisame twist through her steps like a ghost of her old master’s memory and watched, transfixed, as he let go of the axe side to swing around and snap back with perfect timing.

“Jealous?” the voice in her mind purred. Samehada helped himself to a drop more of her chakra as she paused in her steps.

“No, I know Kabutowari is my blade and he’ll return to me in time. There’s no reason to be jealous of your master for handling my blade so well.”

“Didn’t mean Kabutowari,” Samehada chuckled so deeply it made Sakura’s mind feel like a cavern with no end. A half second later she realized what Kisame’s blame meant and she giggled, almost manic at the implication.

“No,” she hissed through his stifled giggle. “No way, not you too. Leave me alone and let me have my fun.”

“Don’t see a reason you can’t have it both ways,” Samehada teased, poking at her palm but doing no real damage.

It wouldn’t hurt her if she could hear its voice and give him her chakra to sip on, but even if tried she’d be able to heal such a modest attack. There wasn’t any real danger to her from Samehada, but she felt unbalanced by his words enough to step out of the old steps and swing the monster blade down against the earth with a surge of chakra that split the earth.

She heard his excited cheer and delighted cackle as he served as the conduit to her legendary chakra release. Sounding almost drunk it asked for her to do that again but Kisame was already laughing at her and that was the only sound she could pay attention to.

“I think I’ve had enough fun for one night,” Sakura said with a tired laugh, hopping over to Kisame’s side with his sword. The exchange was easier this time but before Kisame could press Kabutowari into her hand their fingers touched enough for Sakura to feel where all his blisters had hardened into callouses. Even down the sides of his fingers she could feel the evidence of his devotion to the blade and she wondered, wickedly, what it would feel like to be handled by hands like that.

“Naughty,” Samehada purred to her before their link was severed. Sakura felt her face roar with heat and embarrassment, which she tried to play off by jumping back with Kabutowari and a nervous chuckle. Her weapon purred in confusion and almost understood but Sakura sealed him away into one of her pocket dimension before he could scream out the truth like an echo in her mind.

Damn, dirty thoughts-this was all Mei’s fault for planting the seeds in the first place.

Sakura ran her hands through the fog and then combed them through hair, grateful for the cool the almost night allowed. She knew she didn’t have a ‘pretty’ blush like some other girls. She went beat red and it was almost impossible to hide.

“We should head back, we’ve held back long enough the others might get worried. Plus, I wasn’t exactly quiet just now,” Sakura said.

“Aww boss, don’t make this old man run all the way back after I ran all the way out here only to be late,” Kisame playfully whined.

“What, you want to walk back. That’ll take forever,” Sakura said.

“Not for the whole while, but we can run off later. Can’t we just take it easy for a little while?” he asked.

Only because he asked Sakura agreed.

After a minute Kisame spoke up. “So the word going around is that you haven’t picked a second yet. Don’t you have any ideas or is no one willing to take on the load? You’re kinda a slavedriver.”

“I’m still thinking about it.”

“What are you thinking about.”

Sakura made a face, not knowing if he was teasing or being serious with his question. “It’s so different compared to Leaf, I mean this second almost feels like a marriage partner according to Mei, and it’s kinda serious enough that the thought process is similar. You pick someone and then they’re with you the whole time, nearly day and night, and that’s similar to how Shizune was for Tsunade, but…I don’t know, the cultures are different.”

“Is that such a bad thing?” Kisame chuckled. “When Kiri loses a kage it’s tits up and everything goes to shit real quick-we know because we’ve seen it more than any of the other hidden villages. More assignations mean more hard lessons learned.”

“But does it have to be one person? Tsunade had ANBU who were rotated out all the time.”

“Yeah but that’s such a shit idea here. If I wanted to kill the Hokage I’d just impersonate an ANBU and wait in rotation until I was alone with-ah, don’t give me that face, I’m just saying hypothetical things.”

“It’s not so easy to infiltrate ANBU.”

“You say that like we haven’t ever done that,” Kisame snorted and then when he saw Sakura’s face he laughed. “Nothing so bad, boss, nothing so bad! You’ll see for yourself when you get access after inauguration, but those ain’t your people no more. You are ours.”

There were a few too many things making Sakura’s gut church with complicated feelings. What Kisame said about belonging to Kiri was right and it hurt, not because she hated being accepted, but because of what it meant for her ties to everyone back home-back in Konoha. Tsunade and Kakashi were her teachers but they couldn’t call her their disciple anymore. For the sake of the future of their foreign policy, Sakura had watched as the steps were taken to cut her off from the village hidden in the leaves until there was only one place she could run to. It wasn’t a vicious thing and there was nothing personal about it. Sakura actually understood why they did what they did-changing out the codes and locking her out of accessing ANBU updates.

Kiri was supposed to be her home now…her village.

“Boss?”

“You know you can call me by my name when it’s just us,” Sakura said instead, trying to sound annoyed so he didn’t misunderstand the meaning of her words and think she wanted him to speak to her familiarly. “Boss makes me feel like an old lady.”

The other feelings that made her gut churn came from the last thing he said to her. “You are ours.” Someone once said the people in Kiri were a people who knew loss to well to share decently in the future, thus they were a possessive people who coveted many things.

“Then Haruno kun-”

“Haruno kun?” Sakura sputtered. “What are you my uncle? No-ugh, you’re-oh man I had a teacher who would call me Haruno kun in school back when we were in the academy. You’re banned from the ‘-kun,’ if you’re gonna tack something on at least make it sound cute.”

“Sakura chan?” Kisame playfully called out, pitching his voice high and squeaking out the title.

“Never mind, I take it back, just Haruno or just Sakura, but nothing else. Gosh, I thought someone said that in Kiri they didn’t have manners or shit. Just call me whatever, I don’t care,” Sakura said even though she cared.

“Then Haruno, who do you think would be a good candidate for second. You’ll pick from the swordsmen right? Where else would you go?”

“Mei wanted me to go with her boy Chōjūrō but can you see that working out?”

“That jellyfish?” Kisame hooted. “He’s as shy as an Angel Fish. You’d eat him alive for breakfast.”

“I live to entertain,” Sakura mocked with a silly bow. “But you’ve got a point about pulling from the swordsmen. What would that do to your seats? Would you replace whoever left or take in someone new?”

“Maybe Chōjūrō,” Kisame joked.

“He’s an excellent fighter, he just doesn’t have a future in politics,” Sakura defended. “I could see him growing into that role.”

Kisame watched Sakura a half minute longer before saying anything new. The sun was half sunk into the horizon and all the mist seemed to choke on dying colors as they waded through the distortion.

“You have someone in mind, don’t you?”

“I have ideas but I don’t want to have ideas since I don’t like this whole set up. If it was up to me and the elders didn’t insist on tradition, I’d just have the Seven of you on rotation as my guard.”

Kisame made a thoughtful sound. “That could work as a back up, but you know how those old tradition fogies are.”

Sakura rubbed at her neck and looked ahead. “I need a drink. Race you back?”

“Ah, but I’m all tired from-” Kisame never finished his sentence since he chose that moment to flash step forward and take off running. Sakura cursed and raced behind him but came last and ended up having to buy a round for everyone at the pub.

When Kisame woke a week later he was wide eyed and energized, which was a rare thing for him these days. He normally hated mornings but the sight of his fresh dress uniform hanging up was enough to make him remember why today was such a big deal. It wasn’t just any other day, it was Sakura’s inauguration.

The whole of Kiri was hyped as fuck for a new Mizukage like Sakura, one who revitalized their economy and recovered their crumbling hospital system. The fact that she was the wielder of Kabutowari made it feel like a long lost child coming home from the war with spoils to share with the whole country. Sakura felt like she had always been theirs, like Kiri had always been her home. Even when she had been trying to piss people off and get out of the inheritance she had fit in too well. Her brash personality and strong convictions made her-

“Perfect,” Kisame said out loud, a little too caught up in his thoughts.

He grimaced a the sound of his thoughts and moved to wash up before dressing for the day. He needed to finish waking up or else he was bound to say something else equally stupid. Today was too important to look like a fool.

In short order he was as handsome as he’d ever get with an ugly mug like his and dressed for the occasion. Samehada fit into the latch carrier on his back and outside he saw the others waiting in the courtyard to the mansion where Sakura would start her procession.

Already, people were filling the streets in hopes of catching an eyeful of their new Mizukage on her first day on the job. Some were selling flowered crowns and wreaths as the newest trend had been to emulate Sakura’s flowery good looks. Young girls were cutting their hair like her and boys were dreaming about an impossible future among the swordsmen because of her. There was a building that had been painted with a modest mural of Sakura trees and different blooming flowers in celebration. The love his people had for her was everywhere.

“You’re not late,” Suigetsu taunted.

Kisame punched the younger boy in the face, ignoring both Suigetsu and his brother in favor of seeking out Zabuza. “Hey, you hear anything yet?”

“No one here knows who’s getting the nomination, that hasn’t changed,” Zabuza answered.

“Did you sign the consent form?” Haku asked, lookin up at Zabuza first and then Kisame. The consent form was basically a way those with the qualifications could put their name in the hat that Sakura could pull from.

“On day one, brat. Why, you didn’t?”

“I…I mean I eventually put my name in for consideration. I think I’d do well at it,” Haku answered, steeling his words towards the end even if he kept glancing back at Zabuza.

Between the seven of them, the only one Kisame seriously considered a challenge was Zabuza when it came to winning Sakura’s second. The pair of them were the strongest, arguably, and had a good working relationship with others. But, between the both of them, Kisame knew he was the only one who had been on Sakura’s side since day one when she first arrived. Even if Zabuza had been won over and was loyal now, no one had been in Sakura’s corner like Kisame.

Kisame thought his chances were good.

“Get in your dame spots,” Ameyuri snapped with a dangerous edge. Since Sakura had cured Ameyuri’s disease the kunoichi was near fanatical in her devotion to Sakura. When Kisame pretended to drag his feet Ameyuri snapped her sharpened teeth at his face and he backed up with a chuckle.

The doors to the mansion opened and the elders filtered out before Yagura and Mei. Yagura and Mei paused at the top of the stairs before joining the elders in the courtyard where their respective bodyguards were stationed. That’s when Sakura emerged at the top of the stairs to the mansion and the moment Kisame thought his heart was going to stop. 

The robes had never looked so good on anyone before. Underneath the white and blue folds a soft dress of flaring gray and white, detailed with pearls and accented with a thick mother of pearl gorget around her neck, like the kind samurai would wear of a heartier material. It was ceremonial but Sakura wore it like armor.

The bells on her hat tinkled as she descended the steps and took her spot at the head of the group. Her painted lips were pressed into a hard line and her jaw was set with determination, but she still looked soft where it counted.

Kisame caught her eye at one point and it made his smile grow when the corners of her eyes crinkled for him.

“Haruno Sakura…” one of the elders began.

The ceremony lasted no longer than twenty minutes before Sakura was told to turn around and address the others. “And in line with the traditions of our ancestors, I will honor them with this choice and accept a second. Should I ever fall may their strength be measured by the gods and men,” she recited perfectly. Then she locked her lips and held up a hand before adding, “and in addition to a second I will be installing a rotating support guard for the Mizukage, with the blessing of the elders who safeguard our traditions. Every member of the Seven Swordsmen will rotate into the role of a tertiary figure of my inner circle, behind my second.”

Beside him Ameyuri gasped in delight, suddenly filled with hope that even if she wasn’t chosen she would still be able to serve her idol.

“Mizukage, your pick for second shadow?” one of the elders prompted.

Sakura nodded and the bells on her hat tinkled. “For my second shadow I have chosen Yuki Haku to serve me. Yuki Haku do you accept?”  

That…didn’t… make sense. Kisame snuggled to hear what Sakura said next as Haku approached her and knelt before accepting the mother of pearl pin with the symbol of Second Shadow. Haku said something back to her, maybe in thanks, but all Kisame could hear was the rush of blood in his ears as his gut churned in a grief he couldn’t understand.

[kim-lexie]

crash landing on you.

woah...if a drama ever could crash land, oh i mean ‘descend’ into my heart it was this one. it descended from the greatest drama writers and has been placed into my list of top dramas of all time. like i’m telling you it’s up there with ‘scarlet heart ryeo’, ‘something in the rain’ and ‘mr. sunshine’. seriously it will not disappoint you and i would give it 100 out of 10. 

overview.

this drama follows se-ri, a ceo of an impressive cosmetic-lifestyle brand in seoul. she goes to test drive some of her paragliding products, and a nasty storms ends up sending her to north korea. after landing, she soon meets ri jung-hyuk, a captain in north korea monitoring the boarder. the drama follows him protecting her to deliver her home to south korea, and how their relationship flourishes in the diversity they face from two very different sides of the boarder.

there is romance, family drama, political issues, and cultural differences that are presented in this drama. and i was absolutely there for it all. i ended up writing down my thoughts and fave moments from each episode. because from the start i knew this drama would wreck my heart, and i wanted to look back at all the good times, and times i cried my eyes out of course. so i posted a week-by-week playback from the drama so if you want to see my random thoughts from each week here is the link week-by-week playback.

*spoiler alert* they are ahead, you have been warned.

i have many thoughts, and i am writing this the day i finished the drama. so i will do my best to touch on everything that really struck me throughout this drama. i may even have to go back and update later on, because it is a lot to process.

characters. 

i appreciated that we followed so many characters and that the characters were dynamic and held their own for the plot and development of the story.

ri jeong-hyeok and yoon se-ri. their relationship developed so beautifully. i loved how he had a heart to protect her immediately. from their first meeting and him directing her how to leave the north, and her running towards it just showed their personalities perfectly. once he discovered  that she was still there he was determined to get her out safely, and to protect her no matter the cost. when we come to find that they met long before, it just went to show how deep their connection and destiny was (cue me singing lyn’s ‘my destiny’ from my love from the star at least twice an episode). he saved her life many a times, as well as her saving his. they had so many moments. some of my faves (obvi not a comprehensive list all of their moments, that would be too much for my heart):

her falling from the tree saying he was totally her type. 

how he kept trying to meet her needs even though it was ridiculous and not necessities for the north, but were needs for her as a lady from the south. from making her food, to getting her the candles and body products from the market.

when she was lost in the market and he got a scented candle to lift up to find her.

him keeping her photo even though he called her out saying that it was silly to get extras.

after ri jeong-hyeok got shot protecting her, and their first kiss moment at the hospital. 

when ri jeong-hyeok’s family kidnaps her and they meet again at his family home.

when seri played on the piano and we discovered that it was jeong-hyeok’s song all along, the song for his brother that saved her life. when she contemplated suidcide in switzerland.

when his brother’s watch came full circle, to provide pertinent information in turning in the bad man and being the gift se-ri had bought to gift to jeong-hyeok.

when he followed her to the south to protect her, and they met on the street.

when he and the boys surprised her for her birthday.

him waiting for her after he was taken by the NIS and they allowed him to be at her bedside in the ICU until she woke up from the coma.

him leaving her a fully stocked fridge and writing out recipes for her. along with leaving her text messages for a year. 

him leaving her a recording of him playing the piece on the piano for her to fall asleep, rather than her depending on sleeping medications.

them writing i love you with books on the shelf.

captain ri’s company. i throughly enjoyed the addition of getting to know all of his men. they all developed a friendship with se-ri and it was so precious. and how she gave them all rewards before she was meant to leave the first time, and gifted them things. i loved how they all came to love her and wanted to protect her, which is especially prominent in how they all surround her after she was shot by cheol-gang. 

ju-meok and his love for south korean dramas throughout the episodes was precious. i loved that seri was able to make his dream and gift come true to meet his favorite actress. eun-dong a precious bean, just wanting to see his family, not always knowing what was going on, but always providing emotional support. kwang-beom the handsome face, who blew his cover in the south when all the agencies wanted to recruit him (hahaha). and of course chi-su the one most hesitant to accept her, came to love her most and became the most accustomed to the lifestyle of the south. 

these men tended to provide the perfect comedic relief for many tense moments. their one liners were perfect. i appreciated them coming to the south and trying to get accustomed to blend in. all those scenes were hilarious from them in the stores walking around with their knock off brand names, hours in the internet cafes, sauna stays, and chicken dinners. some notable moments include the birthday celebration scene, when seri thought they had left and gone back to the north and starts weeping on the floor, just for them to come out for the ‘surprise’. and them saying wait ju-meok you said surprises were a good idea but she is crying. another moment being when ri jeong-hyeok was showing seri his scars saying hers won't be too bad, and them walking in thinking something scandalous was happening, (this even happened when captain ri was in the hospital in north korea hahaha).

jeong-hyeok’s family. the storyline behind his brother was kind of dropped, and it was kinda sad because i feel like it shaped jeong-hyeok immensely. but it was so sad that his brother passed in such a tragic way at the hands of cheol-gang. and that it brought jeong-hyeok back from his dream as a pianist to fulfill what he needed to for his family. his father was stern and hilarious in the scene when the two of them finally met again. just being baffled that his only son left was in love with a woman from the south. his mother was so supportive of him, and i loved that. she just wanted her only son to be happy in life and come back alive. 

now seri’s family is whole other story they were WACK. like seriously insane and it was ridiculous. her father and mother redeemed themselves compared to the beginning, once seri returned they kept it in check and wanted the best for her. i loved how the mother and daughter relationship blossomed and how she was there for her daughter in recovery and grieving the loss of jeong-hyeok as he went back to the north. that was beautiful. 

now on to her oppa se-hyeong and his witch of a wife sang-a. they wanted to keep her in the north, then when she was back to send her back/use it against her in business ventures, then tell cheol-gang her address so he could take her. like what?!?! her eldest brother and his wife were oblivious and just wanted money and titles, but dang at least they didnt send an ex NK officer after seri. and it was only until the man-bok wire tapped the room while she was in a coma did it come out that they were truly evil. 

our second otp. seung-jung and seo dan. my goodness what an unexpected pairing, but you know i was on that ship as soon as i saw it developing. i loved how they dished what the other served, and how seung-jung was a different person who wanted to do better by her, seriously they were great. i loved that seo dan saw that she was worthy and deserved to have a man that wanted her and saw her true beauty and qualities that made her a strong and independent woman. and that she didnt need to pursue something that was not vibrant because jeong-hyeok did not pursue her how she deserved, because he had someone else in his heart. i loved this relationship. and i really did not appreciate that we finally had major character development from seung-jung, and then he died. like seriously?! we went from only a few episodes prior going to turn seri into her brother and keep her there in the north. and then he went to protect seo dan and ended up losing his life to protect her. 

the moment he asked her what she was referring to when she said, ‘i like it’. was it jeong-hyeok, was it the ramen, or was it him (seung-jung)?!? and she responded with him, weeping. i weeped like a baby. and then he died in the ambulance. i couldn't contain it.

seo dan’s family. i loved her mother, she provided much comedic relief when it came to how seo dan and jeong-hyeok were originally engaged, to kinda getting on the ship of ‘alberto’, to being like maybe it’s fine if she is alone, let me get myself a man. it was hilarious. i also loved how she went into the village and used her money on the black market to get goods to the ladies of the village. it was quite funny to see how much of the south, she appreciated even though they were pretty high up in status in the north. like the boutiques she went to, and the english phrases, and south korean products she used. 

the women of the village. these women were precious. they were hilarious in how they always prepared the best for jeong-hyeok when he came back from the outpost. i loved how the village banned together to protect seri and how seri made limited edition products in tribute to them. 

the premise and themes.

overall the idea of this concept is wild and completely ridiculous. that she was hidden for so long, that they met before in switzerland of all places, and that it took her weeks to escape the north and it took 8 men 12 hours to get there is ridiculous. but then again if we didn’t have these wild storylines would it really be a drama? 

it was interesting to see their perspective of life in the north, for the duration of the drama i was wondering how much of this is true. from the market to the wiretapping of the homes, to the guards and military structure. it was all very intriguing. and i also have issues with people saying this drama glorified north korea because i would like to see those receipts because i did not see it portrayed as a wonderful place to live. it looked difficult and cold, and terrifying! 

the only thing that humanized it was the people, which is how it is in these situations. the people there, just typical everyday people, do not necessarily reflect the hierarchy of hate portrayed by officials of the government. 

it was so sad at the place that seri was incredibly vulnerable and wanted to take her own life. she insanely depressed and how jeong-hyeok in that precise moment when he was sad and alone wrote a piece of music for his brother that brought her out of her own darkness was beautiful. even though they did not talk or communicate face to face, the heart behind his music brought her out. and they were eventually able to come full circle and meet and grow together. se-ri is an incredible strong character and i wish she had the support she needed from her family and friends. i am glad that jeong-hyeok was able to be there for her, and meet her in her most vulnerable moment on the bridge.

cinematography and episode layout.

i loved the filming of this. like seriously it was beautifully done. from the dynamic scenes in nature and traveling through the forests, to the cityscapes and small moments they highlighted.

i appreciated how we followed the cohesive storyline, but that at the end of each episode we got an extra tidbit to take with us. one of the most noteworthy ones being when the NIS was investigating the ‘spies’/captain ri’s men and looking at all their histories and transactions and places they visited (HILARIOUS). then at the end of that episode it flashed back to the NIS, and now they were looking into jeong-hyeok. and it showed the collective moments that him and se-ri shared and the investigator said that a psychologist viewed all the materials and found to conclude that jeong-hyeok was in love with se-ri. then the lead investigator was like, ‘no duh, you needed a psychologist to tell you that bro. i can see it with my own eyes’. i laughed so hard. 

these end scenes at the end of the episodes were also pivotal in piecing together their histories. and seeing how they had met long ago and that destiny truly brought them together. 

the ending.

i am partially satisfied with the ending. i like how we got to see where everyone went. like even the little things of how man-bok and his family ended up in pyeongyang. and that the village ladies were same old same old even with a new captain showing up. 

i was disappointed that our second otp was ripped apart by those chinese gangsters, because we could have had it all, and not the tragic ending of him protecting her from the bad men and dying a slow painful death and they finally confessed their love for each other. 

i loved that our couple found each other eventually, after years but that it was while she was paragliding, which i freaking called it being like wouldn't that bring us full circle! it was wild and i loved how it ended with them on a picnic enjoying life in a little house with all their photos, because that's how it all started. i wish we could have seen them in the future with their twins, but ya know i’ll take this ending over a scarlet heart ryeo for our main leads.

the ost. 

my goodness i have never had a great drama with a subpar ost tracks. and this one does not fall short. now, i have drama ost playlists each each, and i believe every track from this drama made the list, because *insert slow clap* they are fantastic. my faves:

‘flower’ by yoonmirae.

‘here i am again’ by yerin baek.

‘all of my days’ by sejeong.

‘photo of my mind’ by song ga in.

‘let us go’ by crush. (his tracks always get me)

‘give you my heart’ by iu.

now if you haven't watched it yet go get netflix and watch this one because it will not disappoint. and i will have to rewatch it eventually because it really was perfect. and i am sure there are many easter eggs that i missed. 

[nightingaletrash]

Reyder is pretty much my jam atm, so that's what y'all are getting :)

Set during Meridian: The Way Home because I want Reyes reacting to Ryder dying again.

Edit: I wrote a part 2 for this drabble

---

“-no less than three Kett ships sighted-” “-t approaching the port, I have no clue wh-” “-think they’re leaving the planet-” “-thing big got them moving-” “-sighted in Draullir, they’re moving north-” “-thought Sloane and the Pathfinder killed them-”

It was a confusing mish-mash of transmissions from across the badlands, enough that even Reyes was getting a headache trying to make sense of what was happening. And this was after he’d directed a handful of his most trusted representatives to send their reports to Keema.

The general gist of it was that Kett had been sighted in the badlands, almost like they’d been popping out of the earth itself. As thorough as Sloane had seemed to be, the Kett had clearly been more deeply entrenched on Kadara than anyone had realised. But what was more concerning than that was the fact that they were leaving.

Kett only left if they were wiped out or they were ordered elsewhere, and given that no one had realised they were there, it could only be the latter.

And that was the concerning part.

“Reyes-”

“I don’t know what’s happening, Keema,” he interrupted, running a hand over his face. “No one seems to-”

“Reyes, I’ve just received a report that the Kett have taken one of the Initiative arks” Keema pressed on, steamrolling over him. “The Hyperion. They say that the Archon himself was among the boarders.”

That was enough to make him freeze in his tracks and he immediately muted the rest of his data feeds to focus solely on Keema.

“They stole an ark? Why?”

It was less aimed at her and more trying to create an idea he could actually grasp and work with.

“I don’t know, but whatever the Kett are up to, they’re on the march. It’s not just Kadara, Reyes. All across the cluster, we’ve got reports of Kett pulling out. They’ve even given up valuable fortifications on Voeld for this. It must be something big for the Archon to be so bold.”

Reyes’ mind started working a mile a minute, eyes flicking back to the steady stream of reports being thrown at him. Crux and the others must have realised he had muted them.

Nothing he saw contradicted what Keema had said. The Kett weren’t attempting to engage the Collective or outlaws in the badlands. By all accounts, they were pulling out and leaving the planet for parts unknown.

Sara.

The last time they'd talked, she had mentioned that she was hot on the trail of Meridian, the heart of the Vault network. She must have managed to hit a nerve if the Archon was mustering his forces like this.

And Keema seemed to have had the same thought.

“If anyone knows what’s happening, it’s the Pathfinder,” she said brusquely. “I’ll coordinate our people here while you find out what’s going on. We need to be ready if a fight’s coming.”

She ended the call, but not before Reyes was already patching through to Sara. His heart was beating uncomfortably hard in his chest, as if it was trying to beat for two, and he couldn’t help pacing the room.

“Pathfinder, are you there? Ryder?”

Something icy settled in his stomach when he received only static and a lump began to form in his throat. He adjusted his omni-tool’s settings, trying to delay the encroaching panic that itched at the back of his mind.

“Pathfinder, it’s Reyes. Do you copy?”

Still static, and now he was having to make a conscious effort to keep his breathing steady as he tried the private channel they'd set up.

“Sara, can you hear me? Are you okay? What’s going on?”

No response. Only static.

As his stomach churned horribly, it took every ounce of control he had to not run straight for his shuttle, find out where the Tempest was, and fly out there himself.

Instead he decided to try a different tact. If Sara wasn’t answering, then maybe someone else could tell him what was happening.

“Doctor T’Perro, are you there? It’s Reyes.”

There was more static, and then-

“Reyes?”

He breathed a sigh of relief. Her voice was fuzzy and it crackled with static, but he could hear her and she sounded calm enough. And that meant she probably wasn’t attending to a life-or-death emergency.

“Yes Doctor. I’m trying to get through to Sara, but-”

“So are we,” she cut over. Her voice was becoming clearer, and so was the edge of urgency in her tone. “We’ve lost all communication with SAM and the Pathfinder team. The Archon’s taken down our communications.”

That… wasn’t good. Though if the Archon had indeed taken the Hyperion, losing SAM seemed like an obvious consequence. But SAM wasn’t vital for QEC, was he? Reyes nearly asked but then realised that Lexi had turned her attention away from him and was speaking to someone else in her clipped, professional tone.

“-medbay’s prepped and ready. And Liam, remember what I said about staying calm.”

Reyes could hear Liam retorting offmic which was quickly followed by Vetra scolding him and the thumping of armoured footsteps on metal floors. Somewhere in the distance, almost completely staticky, there was shouting about signal boosters and settings, and yelled replies about onboard computers not responding. The more he listened to the hustle and bustle in the background, the more evident it was that the Tempest’s crew was in emergency mode.

He chewed the inside of his cheek, now seriously considering the idea of wringing their location out of Lexi and flying out to meet them. Keema could handle Kadara. His representatives knew to answer to her in his absence.

“Reyes, are you still there?”

Lexi brought him back to attention, urgency still lacing her voice but her tone softened somewhat now. And then he remembered why he was calling her in the first place.

“Is Sara okay? What’s happening?”

There was a pregnant pause and his body became tense even as his heart began to sink horribly.

“Reyes, you need to understand-”

“Cut the shit. Is she okay?” he demanded, too agitated to care about losing his temper.

Lexi sighed quietly and he could easily picture her running her hands over her face.

“When Sara became Pathfinder, SAM became a part of her in ways we still don’t fully understand,” Lexi explained, her tone becoming cool and professional. Like whenever doctors in drama vids were delivering difficult news. “He became so integrated with her system, that trying to remove him could kill her. But now that he's offline-”

Reyes didn’t hear the rest. He stood rooted to the spot, every muscle in his body freezing and his jaw locking. For a moment he was removed from all the sensation in his body, from the confusion of voices outside his door, even the beating of his own heart.

And then it came rushing back all at once.

He collapsed back into his seat, holding his head in his hands as his lungs stuttered and faltered, struggling to draw breath. His eyes felt wet and it was a struggle to blink back the moisture.

Sara had died once in the time he'd known her, but that had been part of a plan, and SAM had revived her quickly enough. This time SAM wasn't there to bring her back. His absence alone was enough to kill her. And here was Reyes, worlds away and unable to do anything to help.

Time seemed to slow to a crawl, and all the company he had was bursts of static activity in his earpiece - a mixture of shouting and running that made about as much sense as the reports he’d been sifting through just minutes ago.

"Reyes, are you there? Reyes?"

He couldn't bring himself to reply. His mouth flapped uselessly but no sound came out. If he tried any harder than that, he feared that only vomit might come up instead of words

“Reyes I need you to listen to me,” Lexi ordered firmly; in the background there was the sound of doors sliding open and the tapping of shoes marching across the floor. She was on the move.

“Kallo and Gil are trying to get us through to the team and find out for certain what’s happening. We just got a signal through from the Hyperion. It was just a pulse, but the onboard computer in Sara’s armour is showing signs of a response.”

Reyes could hear her footsteps being swallowed up by others, and it was evident that the team was on the move.

“A response?” was all he could muster.

“Yes, though it’s not as straightforward as I’d like. Vital signs are all over the place and-”

His heart rose a little.

“You think she’s okay?”

“I don’t know yet. Listen Reyes, I need to be ready in case Sara needs medical attention."

“Can you give me your loca-”

"Try it now!"

He was cut off by another voice over the comm, a little staticky at first before things smoothed out.

"Pathfinder? Come on…!"

Reyes and Lexi fell silent, as did all the background noise, and he felt his chest tighten as he listened intently.

There was an age-long pause, and a collective held breath before a small, weary voice croaked, "...we're here Tempest."

A dry sob left Reyes' throat as his heart leapt.

She was alive. Exhausted and drained by some apparently gargantuan effort, but he massively preferred exhausted and alive to the alternative. And he wasn't the only one.

He heard Lexi sigh in relief and a few relieved cheers and sighs around her. The footsteps hastened, and Reyes didn’t stop to think before he stood bolt upright and marched out of his private room.

“Lexi, give me the Tempest’s coordinates. I’ll meet you.”

“Relaying them now. I have to go and tend to Sara, but I’ll give you an update later. Without violating patient confidentiality, of course.”

He let himself have a chuckle at that, even if it wasn’t really a joke.

“Thanks Lexi. I’ll see you all soon.”

[mybodyliberation]

Our Marriage Story

Some of my favourite stories begin with “Once Upon A Time”, but they are stories that have a beginning, a middle and an end...our story is just at its beginning though as of right now we feel as if we have somewhat of our happy ending. 

Perhaps I’m calling this story because as of right now that’s how it feels. It still feels like a dream or like we are cosplaying some sequence from a science fiction movie, but this is our new normal. Life itself has changed. 

When I say “our” I’m talking about myself and my partner, otherwise known as Bae. On the 14th April 2019 Bae asked me to be his wife, I said a resounding yes, while simultaneously bawling my eyes out, and we have been planning our wedding ever since. 

Anyone that has been following the wedding journey will know that the date of our wedding was meant to be the 4th April 2020, and with only a few weeks to go, stationary printed, dress ready for collection, suppliers paid in full, and pretty much everything done, we were geared up to have one of the most life changing moments of our lives. 

At the beginning of March, a little worried, but mostly just doing our due diligence, we checked in with our venue and our suppliers to see where they stood on the what seemed to be the rapid escalation of changes being made by the government in relation to COVID-19. We were pretty much all in agreement that unless something major happened we were happy to carry on, knowing we would put certain measures in place to ensure everyone’s safety. 

A week later I checked in with my fellow brides online, how was everyone feeling, were they worried? Most importantly did they have their insurance in place, we had checked with our insurer and at that time as far as we were aware, we were covered. 

Then on the 14th March 2020 everything began to rapidly change. We went to the supermarket and it was like there was a visible tension, whole shelves were cleared and each person walked around tentatively.

We got what we went in for and quickly left. Then as we got into the car I checked BBC News as I had began to do every few hours, and I saw the announcement. The US were going to be closing their boarders to stop the spread of the virus. I got home and immediately called my best friend, who lives in New York, we talked about the options and we realized that NYC itself was probably days away from entering a lock down. 

Even then I think we believed everything would carry on as normal. We thought, “There will be a way to get her here”, and “We will ABSOLUTELY be able to carry on with the wedding.” We sit at the dining table eating dinner and laughing and saying we will absolutely still make it all work. 

By the Sunday evening on the 15th March we realise we might not be able to make things work. We realise that actually...we might not be able to have a wedding at all. There is barely enough time to be upset as we send an email to minister expressing the fact that regardless of what happens we still want to be married on the 4th April, and we will find a way to reschedule the wedding. 

We realised before the whole of our bodies had even caught up that we wanted to be married. Yes,weddings our beautiful, and we hoped to have one, but what really mattered to us was being married. What really mattered to us was being husband and wife and navigating this fast approaching new life, together, as a team. 

All gatherings are stopped, Monday 16th March, I phone the registry office to enquire about whether or not we can get married any sooner and we are told by a wonderful woman at the Balfron office that because our papaer work is done, we can do it whenever we want, we just have to collect the marriage schedule. I have an audition on the 17th March and before the end of the day SOLT issues a statement to say that all west end theatres will close that evening and regionally theatres follow suit. 

In what could be one breath, my entire industry shuts down, and we email our minister again asking if we could do a ceremony as soon as Tuesday 24th and then we send another email before the end of the night saying we would actually like to do it that Saturday, the 20th March 2020, then we begin emailing our suppliers to say we will be postponing the wedding. 

After my audition Bae and I drive out to our venue and further on to try and find a space we can hold the ceremony as venues begin rapidly shutting their doors to any kind of gatherings. Bae takes us to a place called Milarrochy Bay and for the first time in days we breathe a sigh of relief.

Its funny that you do’t know you have been holding your breath until you finally get to breathe. We sat there in the car as the rain came down softly, and breathed. At Milarrochy Bay there was no mention of any viruses, the world hadn’t yet touched the place and it had not yet stopped. We looked out at the Loch and marvelled at the bridge that would be perfect as my processional. We looked at the two proud trees in perfect symmetry, perfect to act as our ceremony space. This was it, this was where we were meant to be married all along. This is where our new lives were going to begin. 

A few moments later we called the registry once more, again the wonderful Lynne told us to be swift and come to her office. She was meant to close but she would hold the building open for us until we arrived. She would change our form and she would send us on our way.

I cried, as we sat in the office, witnessing the kindness of this woman who to us was a stranger. I sat in awe of how she bent and became as flexible as any tree  in the wind, to ensure that we could recognize and unionize our love. There was no time to be too overwhelmed as we got back in the car, speaking to our families to update them of our rapidly changing plans. 

By the next day, again as things rapidly progressed in our country, we realised we didn’t have the luxury of waiting until the Saturday, we would do it on the Friday. Once more we spoke to our incredible minister, she was on board. We spoke to our families, they were on board. 

We were going to elope, and we were going to do it right away. 

I barely slept the next few days, thinking of how to make things work for Friday, picking up my dress, collecting things, making sure our families had a way of getting to the Bay and saying goodbye to a wedding that would not be happening in the way we had planned. 

Then suddenly like magic, all of the stress, all of the anxiety faded away. In a blink of an eye, I found myself in the carpark of Milarrochy Bay just by Loch Lomond, stepping out of my sisters car, taking the arm of my supportive and incredible father, tears streaming down, as I walked towards the love of my life to the song “Loch Lomond”.��

It smelled like the earth was sweeter than it had ever been. The skies were bluer and the sun brighter than I ever thought possible. As I took my Bae’s hand, and my father handed me away it was tunnel vision.

It was just him and me and in that moment we felt God with us so strongly it was like the air was thick with love and joy and peace. The world stopped for us in that moment. It stopped to recognise and celebrate our love. It stopped to say that we had always been leading up to this very moment in time. 

It’s probably only now as I write our story that things are truly being processed. I sit in awe of how we managed to make it to such a crescendo and all I can think of his gratitude because if there is one thing that I have learned it is that love in the time of Chaos...is the most beautiful love of all. 

[hayleynashhnd1]

Evaluation

Project Outline

For my personal project I wanted to produce a series of 10 images that represent the current covid-19 situation in relation to the feeling of being trapped in one’s home; the feelings of wanting to be outdoors again. I wanted to show this by combining the indoors and outdoors through editing techniques. The Brief is broken into 4 stages. Stage 1 (workbook exercise), stage 2 (plan), stage 3 (development) and stage 4 (evaluation).

Planning and Research

When originally thinking of my plan I was set on creating studio still life as I feel this is where my strengths are, and where I was genuinely interested in exploring.  Covid-19 spread quickly and restrictions came into force just as fast. It soon became clear to me that studio was no longer an option and I had to create a plan with the knowledge that the UK could go into full lockdown.

My plan was created with this knowledge and understanding at the time, of the current covid-19 medical crisis. I Made the plan so that I could still work on my project even with the restrictions. Suddenly doing still life no longer interested me. I wanted to create something that was representative of what I, and many people across the world were feeling. In other words, I felt that this was a unique situation and It grasped my imagination more than natural daylight still life.

I had an interest in creating images with multiple exposures, so I began to research photographers that used these techniques. The main photographers that I was inspired by were Florian Imgrund, Christoffer Relander and Duane Michals. I picked these photographers for their artistic use of multiple exposures as it was the techniques that I wanted to apply to my images.

This gave me the idea to create the inside/outside contrast in my images. I thought it would be a good idea to shoot local parks and portraits of me inside to show that I was trapped and reminiscing.

When researching Duane Michals work I discovered that he often used series of images in such a way that tells a story. I knew that I wanted to tell a story with my images, I felt this made simple images interesting; each image unlocking a little bit more about the story.

 Modifications/Plan

By the time I got my plan back even more restrictions where in place meaning I had to make modifications to my ideas.

I wanted to shoot in my local contrary parks however due to the new restrictions, public parks had been shut and only one hour of exercise a day was allowed. I knew that I had to modify my plan if I wanted to take natural texture shots and of trees like Christoffer Relander. I came to the decision to shoot in my back garden instead. This would be a safe environment for me to shoot. Although you’re technically allowed out for a walk everyday (I could go out a walk, bring my camera and take images of trees outside) I didn’t want to risk my health, or my households health for pictures of trees, and only wanted to go out if it was essential.

Modifications/Development

My first 3 shoots where heavily inspired by Christoffer Relander’s oil exposures. The technique Relander used, (multiple exposures) I set out to use in my aim for my project. The unhuman aspect of the images didn’t tell the story I wanted to tell. I noticed that I missed one key aim that I set out in my plan. I wanted to explore the feelings of being trapped in our own home. I knew that I had to incorporate a human element to the images, or this message will not come across. I then took more inspiration from Florain Imgrund and created portraits to add the human aspect into my images which followed my plan more effectively. The added restriction made my aim more relevant as the nation began to stay indoors.

When looking at my schedule in my original plan I strayed drastically from it. I created my timeline so that I would be taking a texture shoot with every main image shoot, back to back. However, when doing my first 3 shoots I noticed that I had more than enough texture images to work with. This meant that I was doing far less shoots than I originally thought I would. I had one other texture shoot after the first 3, and this was of the flowers that had newly bloomed in my garden. I did not set out to get pictures of flowers originally, but I felt they were to beautiful not to include.

I began taking portraits and liked the way that they where turning out without the multiple exposure. I changed my mind and set out to take images showing the feelings of being in isolation, but not specifically to the longing of wanting to be in nature (as I originally set out).

By the tenth shoot I decided to edit the nature texture shots over all my images to see how they would turn out, to honour my original idea, and because of feedback from peers. I was sure before editing that I didn’t want to add the natural textures on all my images. Once I was finished with editing I felt my images looked more coherent and interesting. I realised that my original idea was the way forward and decided to go down the path of natural multiple exposed images. I learned that even if you think something may not work, it can be worth trying it anyway because it could work out better than you thought it would.

Presentation and Finish

I partly edited my images as I shot. When reflecting on it, I’m glad I did. This gave me more time at the end of my project to consider presentation, as my images where already mostly edited. Should I have left all my editing to the very end of all my shoots, then edited my images all at once; I could have become tired of editing. Editing as I went along made the project more manageable for me.

I experimented with different sequencing for my final 10 images. I wanted the sequence that told the best story, as this was one of my aims from my plan. I am happy with the sequencing that I chose as I feel it makes the most sense.  

Although our images will not be printed, I still thought deeply about what I would do if I was going to get them printed. I created some mock-up images on photoshop to show how my images may have looked in their target market.  This looked effective and helped translate how my images would have presented in print. This made the images feel more real and three dimensional.

I considered the scale and paper type I would be using for the prints. I came to the conclusion that I would print all images A1. I think A1 would be most effective as it is large. The large image would catch the viewer’s attention therefor making more of a visual impact.

I also considered the three images which I would exhibit and what size/layout I would want them to be in. I opted for 2 A1s with no borders and on mount board, and one A0 with no boarder and on mount board. I am glad I consider these factors even though sadly I will not be printing my final images.

Obstacles

Not being able to use college facilities was by far the biggest obstacle in this project. I had to completely reconsider what I wanted to shoot and use what I had at home to create quality images. I am thankful that I have a good camera and some good lenses. However, the light I had available to me was mostly natural light or tungsten light. The way the light shines through my house was also an obstacle as I only had one well light area in my house which was the dining room. The other rooms windows where too small or in the shadow of the houses across the road; minimising the amount of light getting in. I worked round this and made sure to shoot at the time of day/sunny days where I was getting the brightest sunlight.

The other obstacle was technology. I was relying on my laptop for editing my images and struggled greatly with my laptop freezing and crashing. It runs photoshop extremely slow. I got over this by constantly saving my work to protect it in the event of my laptop crashing. I also made sure to only have one page open at once if I could on photoshop to make it a little faster.

Motivation was also a big obstacle. I struggled to have enthusiasm to experiment and take images as the current situation disrupted my usual routine.  I was no longer working and attending classes my sleep schedule was all over the place. On top of that the constant Covid 19 updates on the news everyday makes being motivated difficult. I tried to view the graded unit work as something to do during quarantine and eventually it helped take my mind off things and I felt motivated to shoot again.

Skills Gained/Developed

Before the project I had never created works using multiple images before, so I was new to the technique. I have now learned how to digitally develop multiple images (multiple exposure) on photoshop.

I have learned a great deal about portraiture/figure photography. Before this Graded unit I was not confident with my portrait photography however the project has allowed me to understand how angles and perspective effects the portrait. I found that when taking images at a lower angle it created an unflattering perspective on my face, but if I was to use a lower angle on a figure shot it would make me look taller and more flattering.

I learned how to create mock-ups on photoshop. I had researched tutorials online and on YouTube. For my final presentation and consideration of print I wanted to show my images in their target market. To do so I knew I would have to create mock-ups on photoshop. I had never done this before and with some research I learned how to create them. I think they look highly effective and this is a skill I will use in projects to come.

I have developed my planning/researching skills in this project. I thought thoroughly about what exactly I wanted to shoot and why I wanted to shoot it in my plan. As well as researching some great photographers that relate back to my plan. In previous projects my planning was not as thorough and this caused me to struggle through the developing stages, I was not always completely set on an idea or where I wanted to go. I have developed my planning skills and it has greatly helped me throughout my entire project.

My conceptual ideas were something that I feel really flourished in this project. I have always considered myself to be creative however I found with most of my projects through the year I often struggled with concepts and ideas. This was something that I really wanted to develop. I was able to develop that in this project as I had many shot ideas. I organised my thoughts better and when an idea came to mind, I made sure to write it down in my notes so that I wouldn’t forget it.

 Areas For Improvement

File management is an area I need to improve on as I did not always save all my shoots on the SD card and into a USB or on my computer. I also need to be more organised with folder management on my computer both in terms of labelling and clearing older file versions. I Feel this is something that I will always have to continually improve on as I know how important it is to have organised folders and backup copies of your work.

Time management is another area I feel I could improve as I often find myself working right up to deadlines. I am prone to procrastinate and this reduces the potential time and options for my final work. Improved time management would prevent me from getting overly stressed with deadlines.  

Conclusion

In conclusion I am very happy with how my images turned out and I’m proud of myself for continuing to create work in this very unusual situation. When discovering that we would be required to create a project through these difficult times I felt stressed and overwhelmed as I knew I wouldn’t be able to do what I originally wanted to do with my project.

When I got the motivation and began creating images which I was proud of I couldn’t stop thinking and working on my project and the ideas I had for it, it soon became a great inspiration during the long period of lockdown.

I am happy with what I have learned throughout this project and I know I will be using all the new techniques in projects to come. I still have many areas that I would like to develop further to improve on and whilst I am proud of my work   and my final 10 images there is always room for improvement.

Overall, I enjoyed this process and will continue to take more images throughout lockdown to pass the time.

[phinnsyreads]

Mr. Parker.

Don't look so surprised, you have to have known this day was going to come eventually. One of your fellow boarders was kind enough to let me in. They won't be disturbing us, so please, sit down.

Let me make sure I have the right Jackson Parker.

55 years old. Born in Cleveland, Ohio. Multiple tours in Vietnam. Sentenced to death row for killing his wife’s lover. Date of execution May 19, 1979. Now a professional waiter at one of New York City's finest bistros. And…anyone ever tell you you look like Ernie Hudson? You know, the black Ghostbuster. Maybe I'm just thinking of him because the sequel's coming out in a couple of weeks. Whatever, forget it.

One thing they don't have in your file is your unshakable faith. You believe, in a way that so few others do, that everything happens for a reason.

I might feel the same way if I was one of the rare D-classes who have escaped termination. I have to say, you certainly earned this little life you've made for yourself here.

I saw the footage and the pictures from after the…event. I don't know if you ever had it fully explained to you what happened there. We learned that the creature you decommissioned was responsive to the beliefs of its viewers. One of our guys must have got it into his head that the thing was going to kill everybody. And because he thought that, it did.

Until it got to you, of course.

I know your exit survey was a little while ago, so to refresh your memory, the way you phrased it had to do with "falling back on your faith." You showed, in the face of this blood-drenched monstrosity, unwavering belief that you would make it out of there alive. And because you believed, it was true.

Listen…I'm sorry about what happened to you.

We used to be so callous. Hell, it was to the point of being stupid.

There may — or may not — be a thing that'll kill you if you blink in the same room as it. So far as we can tell, this thing also shits all over the place. Almost every time we sent some guys in to clean up its mess — snap! Their life's over, just like that. Only just built a robot that can do the cleaning a couple of years ago. It sickens me to think about all the men who never came out of that room, all because we didn't think of them as human. Just a letter and numbers.

But what we need you for, it can't be done by a machine. Look, I've been thinking about this a lot lately…there's something remarkable about the human heart. Don't you agree? No matter how much we want to give up or say "no" to life, the heart still beats. That's all it knows how to do. It keeps on beating: "yes-yes, yes-yes." It's admirable, something so resolute in its work.

And I know how you work, Mr. Parker. You know I'm here for a reason. And I think you know you're meant to do something that will save a lot of lives. If you do this for us — if you do this for me — we'll do everything in our power to make sure you get whatever you want for the rest of your days.

I think I can tell what that expression means.

Let me know when you're ready to go, D-14134.

---------

Item #: SCP-1983

Object Class: Keter (Presumed Neutralized)

Special Containment Procedures: Outpost 54 has been built on the land surrounding SCP-1983 and disguised as a chemical plant. The "plant" building serves as barracks for MTF Chi-13 ("Choir Boys"). All entry points into Outpost 54 are to be guarded at all times. Personnel will review Document 1983-12, which details the cover story to be given to any civilians expressing curiosity.

All MTF personnel must profess strong religious beliefs, per Chi-13 protocols. All ammunition stocked must have a silver or silver-tipped projectile. A 24-hour watch is to be maintained on the front door of SCP-1983-1. Guards are to engage any instances of SCP-1983-2 on sight. No personnel is to approach within five meters of SCP-1983-1 outside of scheduled testing protocol.

UPDATE: Following the Event 1983-23, a stand-down of Outpost 54 has been authorized. A skeleton crew will remain to monitor SCP-1983 for any further activity. Arms intended for use against instances of SCP-1983-2 are to be maintained at Outpost 54 armory.

Description: SCP-1983-1 is a one-story farmhouse in ███████ County, Wyoming. It was abandoned in 1968 after a series of ritual murders, allegedly performed by a "Satanic" cult. Please see capture logs for SCP-████ for further details.

The front door of SCP-1983-1, when opened, appears to contain a spatial anomaly. Neither matter nor light has been observed to exit the doorway, save for instances of SCP-1983-2 (though the anomaly is exothermic).

SCP-1983-1 is accessible through other entrances, including windows, the back door, and entrances cut into the back of SCP-1983-1. However, the front room does not appear to exist inside of SCP-1983-1. Doors that should lead to the front room instead lead to other doors inside the building. Measurements of the inside and outside of SCP-1983-1 are inconsistent. Holes cut through the interior walls of SCP-1983-1 that should lead to the front room lead instead to the outside walls around the front of SCP-1983-1, but stop three meters on either side of the doorway. Attempts to drill into the front room of SCP-1983-1 from the outside have led to the exposure of smaller portions of the anomaly, though instances of SCP-1983-2 have not been observed to exit them. Further attempts to breach the wall have been forbidden by O5-03, due to the possibility of allowing increased potential for instances of SCP-1983-2 to appear.

SCP-1983-2 are bipedal creatures approximately 1.8 meters tall. They are vaguely humanoid, and entirely black in color. They are highly aggressive and will engage any human on sight. When an instance of SCP-1983-2 comes into contact with a human, they extend an upper limb into the human's chest cavity, without any apparent damage to skin or tissues. Through unknown means, they then extract the heart, killing the human. Once it has acquired a human heart, the instance of SCP-1983-2 will return to SCP-1983-1.

Silver munitions fired while offering prayer is the only known method of killing SCP-1983-2. The precise form of the prayer or religion of the supplicant does not appear to matter, so long as the prayer is sincere. Once killed, the bodies of SCP-1983-2 appear to "disintegrate," leaving a small layer of sulfur.

SCP-1983 was discovered after a series of mysterious deaths in the vicinity of ███████ County. Foundation investigators encountered instances of SCP-1983-2 and were able to trace them back to SCP-1983-1.

Addendum 1: A team from MTF Chi-13 was sent through the front doorway to attempt to investigate the anomaly. They did not return. However, shortly after they entered, the front door appeared, closing in the frame. No further manifestations of SCP-1983-2 appeared.

Addendum 2: A second assault team entered SCP-1983-1 to determine the fate of the first assault team. They did not return. The door did not close. Shortly after new manifestations of SCP-1983-2 appeared, Agent Morris entered the doorway, which closed shortly after.

Addendum 3: On May 23, 1989, D-14134 was given a closed circuit camera tethered to a monitor by a 25-meter cord. He was instructed to examine as much of the area as he could, and then attempt to return. Once through the doorway, feed from the camera was interrupted. The cord was pulled taut, and then snapped.

Several hours afterward, the anomaly in SCP-1983-1 disappeared. Inside, the desiccated remains of several agents were discovered, as well as Document 1983-15, an informal SCP report written by an agent within the anomaly. It appears as follows:

Item #: Pending

Object Class: Keter. God help you.

Special Containment Procedures: You're going to die, you poor dumb fuck.

This isn't a threat. I'm Agent Barclay. I'm in the middle of this goddamned thing, and I'm telling you, if you're here? You're going to die. I'm probably already dead.

So that's out of the way. Let's get to the containment procedures. There's really only one. Close the goddamned door. You aren't going to get back through there. You've probably already tried. But we know they can get out, if they try hard enough. That's how we found this fucking place. Hopefully, you've already done that. I know we did, once we gave up on getting out through there. If you didn't, then you go straight back and get that door closed. That is your only priority right now. You're going to die anyway. Might as well do some good before you're gone.

Description: So, here's a story, tell me if you've heard it before. The Foundation gets reports of trouble in Bumfuck, USA. Cattle and wildlife are dying mysteriously. Some people turn up missing. When a body shows up, autopsy finds the heart missing. Not cut out, not torn out, just gone. Empty space in the middle of the chest.

They find some sort of pitch-black things floating around. Some brain at the Foundation has seen something like them before, figures out how to kill them. Silver bullets, and pray to God as you fire. Literally. For some reason, that makes it work. Doesn't matter which God, but you damn well better mean it.

I can't, anymore. Not after seeing the nest.

Anyway, Foundation figures out where it's all coming from. Some house in the middle of Bumfuck. No one's lived there in years, not since yadda yadda, murder, cult, rituals, bullshit. The main thing is, these things keep appearing out of the front door. A team goes in, and they never come back out. But then again, neither do the monsters. A sane person would say, Good enough, keep an eye on it, kill anything that moves. But this is the Foundation.

You're a tough agent from MTF-Whatever-the-fuck. Maybe Sequere Nos, maybe Choir Boys, like me. You go bust down the door and run inside, and that's it. You're fucked.

The living room was bad enough. That's where they got O'Brien. They reached in, and suddenly he keeled over, and one of them took off with his heart in its… claws, I guess?

They're less distinct here. You probably noticed that. They're like shadows. Stay away from the light. I know that sounds stupid, but think about it. In the light, shadows are stronger. They have edges. When it's dark, they're indistinct. They can hardly touch you, and they don't see very well. I think they see by your shadow. I don't know. I'm just pulling at straws here, I'll be honest.

You've probably tried going back out the door, but if you haven't, don't. It leads to some place even worse. There aren't any monsters, but… Jones went too far from the house, and I swear to God, he started to melt. Things started popping out of him, and… All you need to know is he didn't make it back. That's when we closed the door.

So, we started moving through the house. We kept to the light at first, before we wised up. Three of us gone that way. But we got a pretty good picture of our surroundings.

This place? It's big. It's not just the farmhouse. It's like… It's like they stole bits and pieces of a lot of places, and stuck them all together. There's some bits that look like an apartment, some that look like a shopping mall, and even what I swear is a closet from my old high school. Same patterns on the tiles and everything.

There's also bits that are made out of… stuff. It's black, like the shadow-things, and it's mostly in the well-lit places. If the lights go out, you can stick your hand through. I don't recommend it. That's how we lost Torres. Something grabbed him, pulled him through. The hole wasn't big enough for his head, but he still went through, eventually.

So, stay away from the light places, but watch your step when it's dark.

Of course, there's no way out. We figured that out too. Any door you find, it either just leads to another room in this nuthouse, or it leads out there, and it's pretty obvious we can't live there. So it's wait until you starve to death or one of those things gets you. Great bunch of choices, huh?

There's one thing you can do. I couldn't go through with it, but maybe you can. It won't help you live, I don't think, but it's… I think it's important. I'm pretty sure someone's going to have to, or these things are going to get out eventually.

This place is stolen from lots of places. So I'm thinking there have to be other doors. We've closed all the ones we've found, but what if they get opened again? And the Foundation doesn't find them in time? Hell, they don't even know about closing the doors. I'm just hoping they figure out that if someone goes in, the things might stop getting out. And that's assuming everyone's smart enough to close the door after they come in.

So, I think I figured out a way to stop these things. It's the nest.

I only saw it once, for a few minutes. We followed one of the bastards after they got Denning's heart. It took it into a room that I guess is in the middle of this whole place. It's all black stuff, and they've dragged in every kind of light they could find, I guess. Lamps, flashlights, candles, you name it. Some of them were carrying more in as we watched. Anyway, at the middle, there's a big pile of hearts. Just tossed in a heap, and torn open, every one. They threw Denning's heart on the pile, and it started to beat, and then pulse, and then thrash around. Then it tore open, and one of those things pulled itself out. It shook itself, started to grow and then went right to work. The gross thing is that, torn apart as they were, the hearts kept beating. I swear I felt a twinge in my own chest.

There were shadows in the place. I don't mean the monsters, I mean real shadows, of people. Only there was no one there to cast them. They were coming from the hearts. A new one appeared at the same time as the hatching monster, and started trying to pull away, but it couldn't.

That was when I ran. I couldn't take it, you understand? I wasn't trained for this kind of shit. I heard the others behind me. I don't know if they were trying to stop me, or if the bastards had spotted us, but we got separated. I found a nice, dark closet, and I've been hiding in here ever since. I've been writing by penlight. I turn it off whenever I hear one of them getting close. It's worked, so far.

I can't go any further. I've got a few shots left in my gun, but I can't pray anymore, not and mean it. Not after I saw the nest. But you, if you've found this, you've got to be an agent too. Maybe you're stronger than I was. If you can, go in and destroy the nest. Destroy every last heart. If you do, maybe it'll kill them. It's the only thing I can think of. You'll probably die doing it, but you're dead anyway. So what's it matter to you how it happens?

Me, I'm going to try and get this report back to the living room, which I hope is where you found it. Then I'm going to make sure they can't use my heart to make another one of those things.

Good luck. Morituri te salutant.

SCP-1983 is presumed to have been neutralized by D-14134, who was posthumously awarded the Foundation Star (one of only two awarded to Class-D Personnel). Due to information contained in Document 1983-15, it is believed that the anomaly was not localized, as previously believed, and renewed resources have gone into attempting to locate similar incidents.

===

[“Mr. Parker” is an SCP Tale by Erazm.]

[The voice of the agent was provided by @phinnsy.] [The voice of Agent Barclay was provided by @lapis-liberalis.]

===

[Enjoy the podcast? Consider supporting us on Patreon! Patrons get access to bonus Joke episodes, outtakes, and can even request episodes on specific SCP objects.]

[likeanemployee]

Stranded AU: Part 2, Pirates

Ruby woke up with a start, a sudden shake had shifted the crate she was laying against and disturbed her. She opened her eyes to look around but all she saw was the same secluded section of the hold she had fallen asleep in. It was a quiet place deep within the maze of containers. Ruby had selected this spot initially so she could complain about Weiss to herself, where no one else could hear but she bored of that an hour or so into the voyage and sat down and eventually fell asleep. She was about to return to that sleep, concluding the shake had simply been turbulence, when something in the corner of her eye caught her attention. She wasn’t quite sure what it was, a flash of light maybe. She looked in the direction she thought it came from and for a moment saw nothing but then it happened again a flash of red light appeared and then was gone a few seconds passed and again it flashed. Ruby stood and stretched her mind still working its way full awake. As she did the ship shook again much more violently this time and a siren blared. “Enemies approaching. All hands prepare to repel boarders” a robotic voice announced. Any drowsiness Ruby had still been feeling disappeared instantly and she whipped out Crescent Rose as she charged toward the upper decks.

“What’s happening?” Weiss demanded stepping onto the bridge. She had been checking up on her patrols when the first heavy cruiser reported seeing unidentified ships over the general command com she wore on her waist, but she assumed it was just another trading convoy. They had passed one about two hours out of Atlas and she figured this was the same. The concerns about just how valuable a prize the convoy represented were fair but not even the infamous Constantine Pirates dared face off against one of Atlas’ heavy cruisers, let alone two of them. This whole operation was a formality as far as she was concerned, and she was mostly worried about ensuring the men under her command acted perfectly and that she got promoted to more important duties. She was sure the other ships would identify themselves in another minute or two and then pass by without incident and she continued with her business, but a minute had passed and then a second with no word and Weiss had started to worry. She left her inspection of the patrols and started toward the bridge. Finally, the second cruiser had announced they were engaging enemies and Weiss had started jogging as the red alert lights began flashing all over the ship. The fact it was the second cruiser reporting and not the first was not a good sign. On her way the signal for the merchant ships to break contact and run was announced and Weiss had broken into a full-on sprint a moment later the first shake occurred, it was light. Light enough it could have been turbulence, but she knew it wasn’t something had hit them. Not a weapon or not one intended for them at least, not if that’s all it caused but still… 30 seconds later a stronger impact shook the hull and the warning siren blared. It had taken Weiss only another minute to reach the bridge.

“They’re everywhere!” some one called in panic. It was the only response Weiss got.

“Damn it!” she shouted, “Someone tell me what’s going on!”

The first officer shoved one her subordinates back into his chair shouting “Hold your station!” and turned to address Weiss, who beginning to take in the chaos of the bridge, identified the captain standing over the helmsmen issuing orders, clearly he was too busy too brief her. Weiss turned toward the first officer at almost the same moment she turned toward Weiss

“here” the officer said gesturing toward a nearby screen full of icons clearly indicating the various ships in the area and Weiss moved to get a good look at it as the officer continued “we have boogies coming at us from the north and west the ships the lead cruiser announced are to the southwest, here” she pointed “and are currently engaging the second cruiser. The first cruiser is pulling back with damage. We have a handful of light craft covering us, but most are engaged with the second cruiser. We have no choice but to flee to the west. If we’re lucky we break back to the north with the retreating cruiser once we’re around the combat zone of the second and head back to Atlas. If we can’t get clear of the bogies to the north, we’ll have to continue east toward Mistral. I’m not sure any of that matters though, the ships to our south and west are closing fast and as you may have notice we’re already taking hits.”

“How?” Weiss asked in what wasn’t quite panic “how did they take out two heavy cruisers?”

“they didn’t neither cruiser is sunk, not yet anyway but they did catch us off guard. It was brilliant really two of the merchantmen attached to the convoy suddenly crashed into each other as the ships to the south sent signals indicating they were a trading convoy from Vale. In the confusion we were unable to confirm the ships were who they said they were. At the same time both cruisers closed in on the crashed ships to provide aid along with the three remaining merchantmen we kept our distance as there were enough cooks in that particular kitchen and our size makes us somewhat cumbersome for rescue operations anyway. It was a good thing too because as soon as everyone got close all three merchantmen moved to ram the other ships in the convoy one went for each cruiser and the remaining ship headed toward us. Fortunately, their timing wasn’t perfect the first cruiser was taken by surprised and effectively taken out of commission, she’s still flying and her captain is hoping he can get her back into limited action but so far all she’s been able to do is limp away from the main conflict. The second cruiser was warned by the collision with the first and managed to blow the remaining two merchantmen to pieces. We were far enough off to come out of that unscathed, but the second cruiser wasn’t so lucky. The merchantman targeting her managed to get close enough the explosion of her engines and resulting debris managed to damage the cruiser. She can still fight but between that damage and the fact that in all the chaos the ships to the south were able to close, negating the range advantage she would normal hold, she’s struggling to hold her own against ships she would normally slaughter. Still, it looked like she’d probably win in the end, and still does, especially with help from our own lighter ships so we held position instead of abandoning all military support and risking a second ambush, until the ships to the north and west appeared at which point the signal to run was given.”

“My gods.” Weiss said in shock

“Yes ma’am” the officer replied with feeling

“but why wasn’t I kept better informed?” Weiss asked offended and gesturing at the small radio on her waist.

“Ma’am this all occurred in a span of about 8 minutes, things were chaotic, the lead cruiser appears to have lost all communications and in all honesty the command line you’re on is a courtesy. You’ve probably only been receiving the emergency updates broadcasted on all frequencies.” The first officer who was technically lower rank but also many years older, more experience and in a different command structure then Weiss said respectfully, but with the slight air of someone informing a child the world didn’t revolve around them.

That made sense, Weiss had to admit, after all she wasn’t in charge of the ship, she was in charge of the men protecting the ship from boarders and guarding the cargo during loading and unloading. The undoubtedly frenetic details of the ships handling in the last few minutes had little to nothing to do with her and, she realized, while she needed to know what was going on so she could lead her men now that she did, she should get to doing that.

“Right.” Weiss said with a sense of purpose “I should get to my men then. I assume we’re expecting to be boarded?” she asked deciding the best thing for her was to take the advice of the officer before her who clearly knew what she was doing.

“Yes. We are over the continent now so it’s possible they’ll try to force us to land, or crash, first but if we crash there’s always the possibility some of the cargo gets destroyed and they won’t want that. Additionally, it doesn’t look like that’s what they’re going for, they could be hitting us a lot more but their limiting their fire and concentrating it on the engines, it’s slowing us but were unlikely to fall out of the sky anytime soon.”

“Good.” Weiss said boarding an airship in flight was no easy task the only real option was to come along side, match speed and jump onto the deck. Clever pirates had a number of ways to make the “jumping” part both safer and doable at greater distances, but the basic concept was the same. This meant that Weiss could concentrate all her troops on the deck and not worry about fighting over the entire massive hold and maybe just maybe if she could hold them off long enough for the cruisers to rally and come to their rescue, they would all survive this mess.  

“One more thing ma’am” The officer said as Weiss turned to leave “It’s impossible to be certain who these people are but I can only think of one pirate who could pull this off…”

“Constantine Firekindling” Weiss finished for her “I know”

“He’s devious and his men are vicious and experienced fighters,” she warned “be careful out there and good luck.”

“you too.” Weiss answered grimly and exited the bridge

[almostrealdudes]

The Mission

A/N: Sooooo, I have no time for this, but I did it anyway! Yay for not doing what I need to be doing! This might turn into a two-piece thing, because I intended much more emotion and sensibility for the relationship, but I got tired and it kinda shifted away, sooo yeah Pairing: Connor x OC (Sophia) Word count: 1865 Warnings: Abuse

If you maybe want to be tagged in the possible second part of this.... let me now? That’s all BYE

Something in Connor’s program told him the second he saw her that something was going on. And if it was not yet, it would be. He did not take that prophecy in mind, of course, thought it was a glitch.

Her name was Sophia. A new generation model, RB3100, an android for personal assistance, completely universal and fitting for any kind of task. She was sent by CyberLife as an assisting android for agent Perkins. He was not having it.

“Hey, you. Yeah, yeah, you, plastic bag, come here.”

“Yes, agent Perkins?”

“Bring me a coffee.”

Her LED blinked yellow for a second. She then frowned her eyes a little and tilted her head to the side.

“Are you sure you don’t need me for the investigation? I am capable of various abilities that can make me useful for the—”

A slap. No, a sound of thud. Sophia lost her stability and fell to the ground. All the police officers, including Hank and Connor, turned their heads to the sound. Perkins clicked his tongue.

“I don’t think I asked your fucking synthetic opinion. Now get up and bring me a fucking coffee.”

“What a fucking asshole,” Connor heard Hank whisper, shaking his head.

Sophia blinked a few times, her LED flashing red, then blinking yellow. Running a self-check for damage, thought Connor. She then got up and fixed her buttoned shirt.

“Yes, agent Perkins.”

This was becoming a norm. Every time Perkins was on the investigation, he was abusing Sophia. Hitting her, slapping, grabbing her throat. “This guy has some fucking anger issues,” Connor heard Hank say. Images of Hank’s behavior flashed in his memory, but he chose not to comment on it.

Then, Connor started to receive error messages. Every time Sophia got hit, a “software instability” warning would pop up in front of him. He was having difficulties comprehending what it meant. Along with the warnings, he was… enable to concentrate on the task, as if there was some glitch messing his algorithm. He began to have thoughts that were not a part of his program. He was ignoring the warnings, still not wanting to give it more attention, thinking that after the next self-check it would be fixed.

Meanwhile, Sophia’ hardship was progressing.

She came up to Hank and Connor one day, smiling softly.

“Good morning. My name is Sophia. I am an android, sent by CyberLife as agent Perkins’s personal assistant. I am glad to be working with you.”

Detectives exchanged confused glances.

“Yeah, we know. You’ve been working with him for quite some time now.”

“Oh.” She looked aside, her LED blinking yellow. “I suppose my predecessor was critically damaged, along with its memory card. I’m sorry if it is causing you any inconvenience. I’ll let you get back to your work.”

She then nodded lightly and exited the room. Connor looked down, caught off guard by another “software instability” warning. Hank let a deep sigh.

“This Perkins motherfucker really has no boarders, does he.”

Connor did not say anything. He was thinking. What kind of damage had to be done to an android to break its memory card? Connor has been killed before: he uploads his memory in seconds. Androids can analyze situations and determine risks in no time, there wouldn’t be a problem for her—Connor furrowed his brows. It. The wouldn’t be a problem for itto understand the danger and upload its memory to the base. Unless… unless there was an error in its algorithm.

Connor was having unfamiliar thoughts. He wanted to know what happened to Sophia. He wanted to understand. Ignoring another software instability, he looked around. He then saw Sophia standing near the coffee machine.

“Lieutenant, I’m gonna check something in the evidence room.”

“Um… Okay, whatever you say,” said Hank indifferently, not raising his eyes from the screen.

Connor was not withholding information from Lieutenant Anderson. No, he just didn’t want to make too big of a deal about it.

Standing up, he checked if Hank was watching him and proceeded to the break room. Noticing him, Sophia gave him a slight smile.

“Hello, Connor. Is there something you needed?”

“Did CyberLife give you any detail on your latest damages?”

“Not a lot,” she said, looking aside, “my central processing unit seemed to be critically damaged. Maybe it caused an error in my memory transfer.”

“May I try to access your memory? Maybe there is something left in your model’s neural network. It could help… improve your overall working process.”

“Uh, of course. If you think so.”

Sophia smiled and gave Connor her hand, removing the artificial skin. Connor did the same and connected their hands together.

A flash.

Interferences.

Screeching.

Mumbling.

Interesting. There was still something left in Sophia’s memory.

More mumbling.

“How many times did I fucking tell you to stop following me around? What are you, a fucking dog?”

“I’m sorry, agent Perkins.”

“You just like getting beaten up, don’t you?”

A hand in the air.

“No.” A whisper, barely noticeable.

“What?”

Silence.

“What the fuck did you just say?”

“Please don’t hurt me.”

Something glitched inside Connor. Strongly, like an electroshock.

“Oh wow. What do we have here?”

“Please. I don’t wanna shut down again.”

“I can’t believe this. A broken FBI android. What a fucking shitshow. CyberLife just keep fucking up.”

“They keep rebooting me… it’s agonizing, please, don’t do this. I don’t wanna lose everything, I don’t—”

“You don’t want anything. You’re a machine. A piece of plastic. If you want something – you’re broken. Good thing they can change you like gloves, right?”

“No, please, agent Perkins, I beg you—”

“Don’t worry. You’ll be as new next time we meet.”

“NO—”

A gunshot.

Connection lost.

Connor yanked his hand away, as if it was burnt. His LED was flashing red, his body was shaking from something he couldn’t comprehend. Was this fear? Was he afraid? He raised his head up, looking for Sophia’s eyes. Locking with them, he saw everything at once: terror, fear, despair, loss. Her LED was going crazy, so as her program, he assumed. She suddenly was breathing heavily, and so was Connor, and he could not understand why. The breathing process is a simulation, why would it speed up?

He tried to say something, anything, but nothing was coming out. Sophia opened and closed her mouth a few times, not finding anything to say either.

“I—I have to go,” she breathed quickly, running out of the office, leaving Connor alone to cope with oppressing fear.

He then didn’t hear from Sophia for a while. He didn’t know whether it was because of what happened or simply because agent Perkins wasn’t joining the investigation lately. It didn’t matter at the moment anyway because Connor had some personal issues he had to deal with now. When he accessed Sophia’s memory, when he saw that memory piece, heard how she desperately begged the agent not to damage her, how she cried, how he—

Connor closed his eyes again. His head was not in a good place. With all that was happening to him, he could not focus on the investigation at all.

“Hey, Connor. Connor!” Hank snapped him out of his thought. Connor blinked a few times before turning his head towards the detective. “What is up with you? Your robo-circle is blinking non-stop.”

“My LED shows the process of my thinking.”

“I get that, dipshit, I’m asking what you are thinking about?”

“Just… about the case.” Why was he doing that again? Lying to Hank about him and Sophia. Was he afraid Hank would suspect something? But there is nothing to suspect. Or was there something that Connor already knew? Something he didn’t want to acknowledge, yet was already scared of Hank finding out about? Scared. He kept thinking about this word now, this emotion. What? Emotion? Androids don’t feel emotion. This doesn’t make any sense, it’s completely irrational. Just like—

Connor started to blink rapidly. Looking back at the Lieutenant, he made the best effort to get a hold of himself.

“I just got an update on the report. We should get going.”

This time, Perkins did join the investigation, and he brought Sophia with her. She seemed normal. Too normal for what happened. Connor began to suspect she was rebooted again. Something about this possibility made him… upset? He couldn’t be upset. It probably was the frustration of dealing with all these glitches alone.

But then, he caught a glance from her: not a normal, robotic glance. A lively, worried glance. It meant that she wasn’t replace. More than that, it meant that she was hiding it. Like him.

Trying not to attract attention, Connor looked at her.

Sophia, are you okay?

She flinched, caught off guard by his telepathic message.

Connor, please, don’t say anything to anyone.

I won’t. But I need to know what happened.

When you accessed my memory… It must’ve triggered the last time Perkins assaulted me, along with the emotional experience. Since you were connected to me, I guess you felt that too.

Felt?

What do you mean?

I guess, deviants can affect androids’ overall being and make them deviate as well.

Deviate? No. This isn’t true. It can’t be.

No. I’m not a deviant.

Connor…

Their conversation was interfered by agent Perkins calling out for Sophia.

“Are you planning on standing there forever? Just leave and return to your box or wherever they keep you. I don’t need a fucking chihuahua following me around.” “I’m sorry, agent Perkins, but I cannot leave. I am assigned by my pro—”

He didn’t let her finish. He was frustrated, and Sophia was an easy target. He grabbed her by the throat and pushed into the wall, tightening the grip. Connor had another warning pop up, it was louder now.

“You start to seriously piss me off.”

Everyone was looking. But no one was doing anything. Why? This was clearly an assault. If it was to happen to a human, everyone would be off their feet and… why was he even thinking about it? He does not have time for that. He needs to concentrate on the mission.

INVESTIGATE THE EVIDENCE

The mission.

INVESTIGATE THE EVIDENCE

What is his mission again?

INVES%PRO#GATE THE EVI^^SO&*DENCE

What is happening?

IN%$#PROTEC±@ &%$ SOPH**^CE

No. This is unfair. She was so desperate the last time he attacked her. So scared. She didn’t do anything wrong.

PRO%$6TE&^^CT SO(*&PHI%#A

She shouldn’t be going through this. Through any of this.

PROTE&^CT SOPH@#IA

He cannot let this happen.

PROTECT SOPHIA

He will not let this happen again.

It all happens in seconds. Analyzing all the possible outcomes, Connor launches forward, grabs Perkins and throws him to the ground. He is overwhelmed with emotion: anger, rage, worry. But also care and… relief?

“What are you doing?” Sophia whispered, afraid to move.

“The right thing,” he said. And for the first time, he could feel completely sure, illuminated. And then, he grabbed her hand and he ran. He wasn’t rationalizing or analyzing. He just went with the flow, with the way he felt. Yes, he did. He did, and he never felt more alive.

[restinmiel]

updateable post

This post will be finalized before the 1st of april 2021. This post is meant to share my experiences and thoughts during the process.  note: this post is to create transparency, this post is updated ‘along the way’

16-3-’21  During the zig-zag stitching of the fabrics I noticed that the time was going abnormally fast, it really felt like I sat there, stitching, for only 20 minutes. The thing is, in reality it was from 9:30AM all the way until 2:00PM. It almost felt like a trance.

I realized I work way faster with (fast) music (7 patches per 10 minutes) than without music (5 patches per 10 minutes). That’s a difference of 120 patches/hour.

18-3-’21 For my Relational Aesthetics assignment I’m also taking my methodology into the mix. I’ve decided to create a walking-route, to create a social interaction between something that feels safe to me. Note: I still have to finalize this concept. The walk I’m making is a circa 20-25km route, from Rotterdam to Papendrecht. In the walk, you go over the Willemsbrug, the Oude Hefbrug, the van Brienenoordbrug among others. You meet the boarders of nature and (hu)man-made. The social interaction I confront the walker with has to do with yourself, your viewpoints, and the different parts of both Rotterdam and some small towns. There will be an optional assignment that the walker could execute to document the interaction/experience (hypothetically)

21-3-’21 You might wonder where my views on different forms of meditation are, I’ll come back to that a bit later because I don’t have enough references to compare the different forms to. So as soon as I feel like my frame of reference is big enough, I’ll post my evaluations.

31-3-‘21

I haven’t updated in a while, the reason being that the isn’t much to update about. I’m slowly indexing the different forms of meditation, and I’ll update that post soon, also my first draft of my reflection on my buddy is now uploaded, and I’ll also post the final version later today, as well as a reflection-post.

Oh yeah, another thing, I can’t post the artwork as a whole, because my house simply isn’t big enough to show it anywhere, so this will be posted on SUNDAY. So just take a note of that, and I hope you understand that this is an external factor which I wouldn’t have struggled with if weren’t for corona.

[codingforcreativepractices]

Week 11 - Final Development

FIRST BOOKING

On the Friday after week 10′s class I was suspicious that the scaling might be affecting the embroidery which is why it wasn’t smoothly going on so I did a quick test run adjusting the settings for the scaling to see if it would work correctly.

Below is the code that I quickly created at the end of last class to see how it when

import processing.embroider.*; PEmbroiderGraphics E;

void setup() {

 fullScreen();  background (255);  E = new PEmbroiderGraphics(this, width, height);

 String outputFilePath = sketchPath("line_test4.dst");  E.setPath(outputFilePath);  E.beginDraw();

 E.strokeSpacing(5);  E.setStitch(10, 50, 0);  E.strokeMode(PEmbroiderGraphics.PERPENDICULAR);

 E.stroke(100,0,200);  E.strokeWeight(15);  E.line (100,100,100,400);

    E.stroke(150,100,0);  E.strokeSpacing(2.5);  E.setStitch(5, 25, 0);  E.ellipse (100,500,100,100);

 E.stroke(0,130,100);  E.scale (2);  E.line (150,100,150,400);

 E.stroke(150,100,0);  E.strokeSpacing(2.5);  E.setStitch(5, 25, 0);  E.line (200,100,200,400);

 E.optimize();  E.endDraw();

 E.visualize(); }

The output was what was shown above and it worked perfectly creating this so I then decided to create the code without the so I then had some extra time so I decided to attempt my updated design the edit from the last embroidery was that Tim mentioned that it might be a good idea to create some sort of boarder around the design to make it more obvious that it is a patch.  

So, I went onto the PEmbroider library a got the hello world outline of the smiley face so I had an outline that I know works in code. It then took quite a few attempts at resizing so that the design was in the middle of the design.

It was also suggested to me that the writing was quite small on my last attempt and not fully visible so I increased the sizing of that from 1 to E.textSize(1.5); and created a space between the lines of the rows.

Because of the increase in the size of the text and the ellipses shape it meant that in the previous position some of the words went out of the boundaries of the patch. So, to make it fit an introduced them on an angle to follow the flow of the design. And by doing that I also changed the title to be on a sloping between the rows as it made if work better compositionally. 

Above is me trying to find the position I want it in

Changing the stroke spacing that so that it can be done on the embroidery machine. 

Also to help with the overlapping of the stitches I introduced the E.beginCull(); function this flattens it into one image basically and so there is no overlaps of stitches. it then has E.endCull(); after the code of what you want to be flattened. 

The issues with this one was it for some reason didn’t stop for the biggest circle and incorporated it as part of the line meaning it was a different colour from the rest of the circles. Also the thread broke whilst doing the surrounding edges and although I backed it up a few stitches to join them back together it was further enough back creating the gap in the badge. 

SECOND BOOKING

To try and incorporate the black as well I attempted to put it on black fabric and use some white thread. The white thread I soon found out was not good for embroidery it continuously broke and created uneven pattern and most of it the green bobbin thread was showing through the other side. But asides from the technical problems I also was not sure about having all of the squares and the circles red as I do want to create some contrast between the two which translated to my next attempts.and the black fabric overall I didn’t think was anywhere near as effective as white fabric.

My last attempt of that day was transferring it back onto white fabric and I tested out the different colour combinations.

Unfortunately, as you can see if you look closely at the centre of the second image on the last 30 stitches of the design there was an issue with the bobbin thread and it caused it to build up like that. Which was sad on an otherwise very cool design.

I still wasn’t completely convinced on that colour through as I felt as though it brought too much attention to the squares as with the darkness of the green contrasted from the red. and the red of the circles did not stand out as much. 

FINAL BOOKING

This was the final test of colours and a absolutely loved how this one looks and so when I was finished with this one I was curious about how the patch would look if it were to be rectangular so I edited the code (positioning of the text and the outline). The code is shown below.

import processing.embroider.*; PEmbroiderGraphics E;

Table dataSheet; void setup() {

 background(255);  fullScreen();

 E = new PEmbroiderGraphics(this, width, height);

 String outputFilePath = sketchPath("PEmbroider_square.dst");  E.setPath(outputFilePath);  E.beginDraw();

 dataSheet = loadTable("toptendataset.csv", "header");  println (dataSheet.getRowCount());  println (dataSheet.getInt(0, 4));

 E.fill(0, 0, 0);  E.strokeSpacing(5);  E.setStitch(10, 50, 0);  E.strokeMode(PEmbroiderGraphics.PERPENDICULAR);  E.textSize(1.5);  E.stroke(125,125,125);

   E.text("TUR", 390, 320);    E.text("LBN", 390, 360);    E.text("JOR", 390, 400);

   E.text("DEU", 390, 440);    E.text("IRQ", 390, 480);    E.text("EGY", 390, 520);

   E.text("SWE", 390, 560);    E.text("SDN", 390, 600);    E.text("AUT", 390, 640);    E.text("NLD", 390, 680);

   E.text("SYRIAN", 970, 160);    E.text("REFUGEE", 970, 200);    E.text("CRISIS",970, 240);

 E.stroke(255,0,0);  E.strokeWeight(10);  E.line(550, 150, 1080, 680);

      E.noFill();       E.stroke(0, 255, 0);  E.strokeWeight(30);  E.strokeSpacing(5);  E.rect (320,60, 925,680);

 E.translate(width/2, 0);  E.rotate(radians(45));  E.scale(0.5);  E.strokeSpacing(6.5);  E.beginCull();  for (int i=0; i<10; i++) {    float value1 = dataSheet.getInt(i, 2);    float m = map(value1, 85, 3263, 170, width-80);    float value2 = dataSheet.getInt(i, 4);    float n = map(value2, 14, 792.75, 100, 800);    float value3 = dataSheet.getInt(i, 5);    float o = map(value3, 16.9, 21.4, 100, 800);

   E.strokeWeight(20);    E.stroke(0, 0, 0);    E.noFill();

   E.ellipse(m, height/2, n, n);    E.stroke(0, 100, 100);    E.rect(((width/2)-(o/2)), (height/2)-(o/2), o, o);

 }

 E.endCull();  E.optimize();  E.endDraw();

 E.visualize(); }

void draw() { }

Although I do like the design I do think that the circle one is more successful in my opinion although we could always create a range of different style variations and it could be sold as a range of different patches.

Although this is not my final it was still worth having a look at.

I had a revelation at the end of my last booking that the stitches do look quite rough in the inner pattern and maybe I could change it to a tangent stroke style and see if that will make the image even more punchy. 

I kept the surrounding outline stitch as perpendicular as that is what stops the fabric from fraying.

And it showed up so much more clear than before in previous versions and is a lot smoother with no sign of the colour of the bobbin thread below. In the code the line that changed in order for this to happen was that E.strokeMode(PEmbroiderGraphics.PERPENDICULAR); was changed to E.strokeMode(PEmbroiderGraphics.TANGENT);