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lokigodofmyheart · 4 months ago

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HOT WATER

Pairing: Legolas x Reader

Words: 2.4k

Summary: Y/N is exhausted and Legolas show her a place with hot water to relax.

Warning/Content: soft smut.

MASTERLIST

Legolas observed the girl as she walked alongside the Fellowship. The journey has been long and hard for all of them. But it must had been harder on her, a mortal woman. ��

Y/N could feel her muscles ache as she walks with the Fellowship. Her clothe were stained with dust and sweat and wherever else were in those roads. The only thing she craved right now was a moment of peace. Legolas fell back to walk in pace with her. He glanced at her, taking a mental note of her current state of exhaustion.

Aragorn decided to stop and make camp because it' was getting already darkening it would be way too dangerous to walk at night. Everyone agreed, after all, they were all tired. Except for Legolas.

As soon everything was settled for them to rest, Y/N sat on the grass, her back against a tree and her eyes closed. She closed her eyes, trying to relax a little. Legolas noticed her state and he sat by her side, as he silently observed her for a moment before speaking.

"You seem tired." he noted quietly, his voice filled with genuine concern.

“I am a little.” She looked at him.

The elf nodded, understanding what she meant. "There's a spring not far from here." He offers slowly, tilting his head towards a direction "The water is pure, warmed by the earth. It will help you."

Y/N hesitate at first, but the thought of washing away the dirty, in a warm water instead of the cold ones they had been finding...she was really tempted.

“Okay, sure,” Y/N stood up from the ground with a small smile on her lips“lead the way, elf.”

Legolas smiles back, his expression gentle. He gets up from his seat and starts making his way through the trees, making sure she was following him as he leads her to a small, secluded spring.

The water is crystal clear, and steam rises up from its surface. The sun sets leaving them with the dark of the night and the light of the moon "Here we are." he says quietly, gesturing towards the spring.

“That actually looks very nice.” She spoke already taking off her boots.

Legolas nodded in agreement. The spring looks like a small oasis in the middle of the forest. The moonlight reflects on the water's surface, glimmering quietly. "Let the water soothe your muscles and ease your mind." he advises, as he turns his back at her politely to let the woman undress.

She finished quickly, throwing her clothes at the ground and slip into the water. The warm instantly relaxed her body and her aching muscles. Legolas stands on the edge of the spring, his back still towards her. He listens to the sounds of the night, his keen ears attuned to everything surrounding them.

"You don't need to be so vigilant all the time." Y/N says, looking at his back.

Legolas' attention abruptly snaps back toward her. Her voice cuts through the silence and he turns slightly to glance at her. He can just make out her form in the water, the moonlight casting a soft glow on her skin "It's dangerous out here." he replies in a quiet voice, still standing on the edge. "We must always be on guard."

“Well, there’s no danger here.”

She was correct to a certain extent and he knew it. At this very moment, they were safe and in a secluded area, away from the dangers of the surrounding wilderness

"Habit." It’s all he says.

"Join me." Y/N says half-playful, half-serious "I won't look. I promise.” Legolas raises an eyebrow at her request, clearly not expecting it.

She turned her back to him, as she was trying to untangle her hair, giving no mind to him, after all, she was sure he would decline. But then she heard the quite rustle of fabric. The sound of his tunic being pulled over his head and the rest of his clothes. And them, the water moving as he enters.

Legolas slowly makes his way to her, his steps light and graceful. The warm water instantly easing his tension. He watches her silently for a moment as she struggles with her hair. Letting out a soft sigh, he spoke "Let me help you with that."

He carefully moves closer to her through the water, his long, slender fingers reach out to gently undo the tangled strands of her hair. His touch is surprising soft, slowly detangling her messy hair. Nothing at all from what she expected from an Elf prince and warrior.

“You’re good at this...” Y/N spoke quietly, enjoying the touch of his hands in her hair, enjoying how his fingertips barely grazing at her skin.

"I have had plenty of practice." he replies quietly, his voice low and calm as he continues.

She let out a soft chuckle and Legolas couldn't help but smile faintly at the sound. He works through the last few strands of her hair and finally, it is free from tangles. "There." he murmurs, his fingers gently running through her now-smooth hair.

“Thanks.” She smiles, turning to finally look at him. They were very close, she noticed. And very naked too. She expected him to move away, but he doesn't.

Their proximity makes him aware of her body, the feel of her skin just inches from his own. His gaze meets hers and it lingers. It's intimate and intense as his eyes travel over her face, tracing the contours of her features. Her face is wet from the water and his gaze is captured by the water droplets on her face, his eyes tracing the path they take He reached out a hand and gently brushed away a few more droplets, his fingers lingering on her skin for a moment.

He speaks quietly, almost a whisper "You are breathtaking." The words slip out before he realizes.

Y/N reaches her hand to his shoulder, tracing the path of the droplet, making his breath hitches as her fingers touched his skin, the intimacy of it makes his skin tingle. His gaze doesn't leave hers as he swallows, his own hands slowly cupping her face, brushing her cheekbones before he leans into her, pressing his lips against hers in a slow kiss, testing, savoring her.

As soon as his lips were on hers, she closed her eyes and kissed him back. Legolas deepens the kiss, his tongue gently tracing the seam of her lips. His hands slowly move, sliding down her neck and over her shoulder, pulling her closer against him, their bodies pressed together in the warm water.

His hands grow bolder, going to her back, tracing the curve of her spine, sliding lower until he grips her waist beneath the water, pulling her even closer. Legolas breaks the kiss for a moment, his breath uneven, and his eyes dark as they lock onto hers.

"Tell me to stop" He murmurs.

“Don't.” she murmurs too, before she closed the distance kissing him again, a more passionate kiss this time.

Legolas responds to her kiss with fervor, his tongue slipping into her mouth, tasting her as his hands grip her tighter, pulling her closer against him while his hands roams over her body, exploring the curves and angles he's longed to touch. Her hands did the same, exploring his chest, his muscles, making the elf whisper words in his tongue, which she could not understand.

His kiss becomes more urgent, the need to feel her growing with each passing moment. His hands slide down her body, grabbing her hips firmly and pulling her against him. Y/N let out a soft moan, feeling how hard he already was from just kissing. He breaks away from the kiss, his breath jagged as he looks at her with a silent question.

Y/N understood and nod at him. Legolas doesn't need any more encouragement. He gently lifts her, his strong hands sliding down the backs of her thighs, wrapping her legs around his waist. When he sinks into her, he does it slowly, eyes locked into hers, watching every little reaction. Watching as she moans and her eyes almost roll back as she enters her inch by inch.

Legolas holds her against him, his hands gripping her thighs as he stays still for a moment, savoring the feeling of being buried deep inside her. His eyes are darkened with need and desire as he looks at her, a soft growl escaping him as he starts to move in a slow and gentle pace.

The water ripples around them as they move and the night were filled with soft gasps and moans from both of them. He loves how responsive she is to his touch, the way she gasps and moans, the way her nails digging into his shoulder, the way she arches against him as he moves, pushing her closer to the edge.

Legolas felt when she reaches her orgasm, clenching around him and makes him follows her when the sensation is too much and he finally cum. Legolas holds her tight against him, feeling her body trembles. He buries his face into the crook of her neck, his arms around her waist, holding her as he follows her over the edge of pleasure, murmuring in his mother language.

“What does that mean?” She asks curiously.

He lifts his head up to look at her, his eyes still hazy with pleasure he replies in a gentle voice "It roughly translates to 'my sweet flower'”.

Y/N smiles a little with his answer and he couldn’t help but returns the smile. She lifts her hand, gently caressing his cheek. Legolas closes his eyes at her touch, taking in the feeling of her fingers on his skin, her tenderness bringing him a sense of peace. For a moment, all he can think of is her, the feeling of her body against his, the soft sound of her breathing and the touch of her fingers on his skin.

“We should go, before Aragorn or Gimli come look for us...” she made no motion to move from him.

Legolas reluctantly nods, knowing that she's right. He carefully pulls her legs from around his waist, letting her stand on the ground, but still keeping her close. He caresses her cheek gently and steals a quick kiss before speaking.

They slowly move to get out of the water. Legolas steps out first, reaching out to help her from the water. He grabs his trousers from the ground and quickly pulls them on. He stays by her side as she gets dressed too, not wanting to leave her just yet "Unfortunately, you're right..."

They slowly move to get out of the water. Legolas steps out first, reaching out to help her from the water. He grabs his trousers from the ground and quickly pulls them on while Y/N did the same with her clothes. When they’re done, he steps closer, taking her hand in his and lacing his fingers through hers.

She smiles again, giving him a quick kiss. Legolas responds to the kiss, gently cupping her face with his free hand. His thumb caresses her cheek as he looks at her, his gaze tender and fond as he speaks, his voice low

"We should return to the others..."

Y/N nods. She broke the silence as they walk back to the camp “Thanks, I really needed that...the water was indeed good.”

Legolas nods in understanding, his hand still holding hers as they walk slowly "So did I." he replies quietly "It's a small moment of peace and relaxation, something we rarely get in this journey."

Once they step back where the fellowship was, they noticed that Aragorn and Gimli were still awake. And obvious Aragorn was the first to notice that Legolas’ hair was also wet.

Aragorn gives a sly smile at the sight of Legolas' wet hair. His eyes dart to Y/N for a moment, then back to Legolas

"Went for a swim, didn't you?" he asks, clearly amused.

“We really needed a shower. You should try one too.” She says back to him. Legolas glances at her with a subtle smile, appreciating her humor.

Aragorn chuckles in response to her suggestion, but there's a knowing look in his eyes as he replies. "I'll give it serious consideration. A proper bath wouldn't hurt."

She chuckles too, sitting by the fire with them and Legolas followed her. The man, the elf and the dwarf kept talking, but Y/N was so tired she slowly fell asleep, letting her head fall on Legolas’ shoulder.

The elf glances down at her, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he realizes she's dozed off, her head now resting on his shoulder. He instinctively brings his arm around her, pulling her a little closer, careful not to wake her. He looks up to see Aragorn and Gimli's eyes on them, both wearing knowing smiles “Not a word.”

Gimli raises an eyebrow, a lopsided grin on his face, and whispers just loud enough for them to hear “Looks like someone found a new pillow."

Aragorn tries to hide a chuckle, but it ends up as a cough. He glances at Legolas, a smirk on his face “Who knew our dear Legolas made such a comfortable pillow?"

Legolas rolls his eyes at their comments, trying to dismiss them with a snort of feigned annoyance. He looks down at Y/N, still asleep against him, her head resting on his shoulder. His expression softens as he speaks quietly, almost to himself "She's just tired..."

“Yes, a bath in hot waters must be really exhausting.” Aragorn says teasing his friend.

Legolas shoots Aragorn a look, knowing he's not going to give up this topic anytime soon "We both needed it. It's been a long day."

Gimli can't help but chime in, still smiling in amusement "Of course you did. And since both your clothes are dry, I wonder if-"

Legolas raises a hand, silencing Gimli mid-sentence “Enough, you two." he mutters sternly, his patience running thin. Aragorn and Gimli exchange grins, but they decide to drop the topic for now. Legolas carefully scoops her up in his arms, making sure not to wake her, and carries her to her bedroll. He lays the woman down gently, making sure she's comfortable. He pulls a blanket up over her, tucking it around her loosely, and sat by her side, keeping watching her as the other’s sleep. The rest of the night is quiet, and the only sound is the soft breathing of the rest of the Fellowship.

#legolas #legolas x reader #legolas greenleaf #legolas x you #legolas greenleaf x reader #legolas smut #lotr #lotr fanfic #lord of the rings

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slutforln4 · 20 days ago

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little talks

part 1

landoxy/nreader

summary: in which Lando and you are forced to breakup due to his mental health getting much worse but will you find your way back together?

warnings: tooth rotting fluff towards end or in further parts maybe? definitely angsty, maybe some Oscar hate? not from my side but just from the POV of the story, suggestive at some parts maybe

not proof read literally wrote this in like 10 minutes cause I was bored lol tell me if y'all want another part fro this

March 2025

Lando and you have been dating since his debut season in F2, so it's been quite some time together so far. Sure, hate was always a thing, especially with Lando being this famous at such a young age and you basically being a "no one" in others eyes. Nevertheless you didn't quite care about it as much as Lando did, why would you? You're happy, he's your high school sweetheart, or more like racetrack sweetheart since you were always there with him, ever since.

As much you were able to deal with the hate, you must admit that last year was tough. Lando losing the championship fight and Oscar constantly beating him one race after another. As if that didn't already have had the biggest toll on his mental health, this season started just like the last one.

Jeddah just happened. Oscar ending up on P1 while Lando barely made it to P4. You already knew how the drive back to the hotel was gonna be, and how much worse the long flight home to Monaco was going to be. As if those long drives after bad races weren't already bad enough for you, Land decided to give you the silent treatment from the minute you got into your apartment in Monaco the next morning. Oh boy, the next few weeks are gonna be a challenge...

May 2025

First race in may, Miami, your favourite. Not just because lando got his first win here last year, but because of all the memories you've made here, especially the one where he proposed to you here last year after the race...

You just got here and made your way to the hotel immediately since it was like 11 p.m. and you're both jet lagged as shit. The mood has gotten maybe a little better, but it's as if something has changed after the last race cause he definitely doesn't ac like the Lando you've known for years anymore.

The first thing you did when getting into the room was to put your stuff down and get into the bathroom to have a shower, not knowing how that will set Lando off.

"You're going in the shower first now huh..? After I juts complained the whole ride that I'm sore and want a shower as soon as we get ti the hotel? damn, thank you..." He mumbled under his breath sarcastically while unpacking his suitcase a little.

You didn't want to fight right now, you couldn't. Instead of responding you just quietly shut the bathroom door behind you and went to have a quick shower to calm down a little. After just 15 minutes you come back out dressed in your pyjama and now ready for bed. Instead of going further into the bedroom you just stand there, looking at Lando sitting on the bed. It's like a reflection, he didn't even look like the Lando you once knew, happy and open, the cute lover boy with the silly laugh. All you did was to let out a sigh just to get another roll of the eyes from him, followed by an annoyed sigh of his.

"what?", You ask, genuinely wanting to know what sounded now to piss him off. again.

Instead of responding he just shook his head and that was the point you cracked, your nice demeanour falling from a mix of the exhaustion from the long flight here and just everything piling itself on top of each other in your relationship right now.

"No! you don't get to fucking ignore me again for fucks sake! Ive done NOTHING but being nice for the past week- no actually since this shitshow of a season started and I've gotten nothing from you. NOTHING!", you snap, Lando flinching back ever so slightly before just looking back down at his phone which pissed you off even more.

You walk over to the bed, grabbing his phone out of his hadn't and throwing it somewhere else on the bed. "Im not doing this anymore. I won't be the only one putting effort into this fucking relationship.", And for a moment there you could see his face changing a bit:

"What are you on about...?" He asks, voice quieter but not a single sign of reflection or whatsoever.

"You know exactly what I'm on about! Oscars beating you. Again." You say bluntly, crossing your arms defensively over your chest.

"seriously?", is all Lando says before letting out a huff and shaking his head, turning his back to you and closing his eyes.

"No. You know- No! Get up. Now. we're talking about this right now.", You snap, not getting a single reaction out of him, so you go further, stepping in front of him and starting to take off your engagement ring he proposed to you with just a few months ago.

His face immediately fell , grabbing your hand and trying to stop you from taking the ring off fully. "wha- No wait what the hell are you doing? Babe?"

You rip your hand out of his grip and tale off the ring fully, forcefully pushing it into his hand. "I don't want it anymore. I don't want this."

You never saw him getting up this quick, because within a second he's standing in front of you his hands finding your forearms as if you'd vanish if he let go. "No you don't mean that... You're tired- You're- Come on, that's silly y/n... put the ring back on...", He says calmly.

Tears build up In your eyes but you don't budge, crossing your arms and shaking your head with the thought of Lando trying again, at least once but instead he just nods and puts the ring into his pocket. The tears that have filled your eyes are quick to fall but you're even quicker to wipe them away.

Nothing else was said that night, but both went to bed in silence, so many unspoken words and feelings hanging in between the two of you that no one wants to talk out.

The next morning was even worse. He got up way before you apparently because when you got up at 9 AM he already wasn't there even tho media usually starts at 12. You sat up and checked your phone to see If he left any messages, but he didn't. There was too much anger cursing through your body to even think of Lando going out to Do something nice or apologise after what has happened last night, so instead of waiting fro him to come back, you decided to pack your stuff, book a flight back to Monaco and leave everything behind.

The flight was long and at this point you felt like you didn't get a single bit of sleep for the past week at least. Back in Lando and your shared Monaco apartment you unpacked your stuff that was originally packed for Italy before quietly wandering around the house, not even knowing what to do here all alone in this eerie silence.

What you found even more weird was Lando not having reached out to you two days after you left but even weirder that Lando canceled media AND practice day...

When F1 posted that Lando will miss qualifying day as well you knew something was definitely not right, so you immediately called him. Of course time zones were up, but you didn't care, you needed to hear something from him. 16 missed calls later you frantically started texting him all sorts of things, apologising for the suff you said and taking off just like that but he still didn't respond.

Its until several hours later, probably midnight in Miami when you suddenly get a call from him...

#fluff #formula 1 #angsty #blurb #lando norris smut #lando norris angst #lando norris #lando norizz #lando x reader #lando x you #miami gp 2024 #miami 25 #ln4 #f1 fanfic

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majestyeverlasting · 2 years ago

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A Little Less Restless

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (friends to lovers)

Summary: As Bucky finds himself within the still familiarity of Brooklyn, he comes to realize that he deserves nice things. And, most of all, that he deserves you.

Word Count: 2k

A/N: I haven't posted any new writing in a bit, and it feels good to be resolving that (yay me). Please enjoy this piece I wrote today. Lot's of fluff and very obvious feelings. It's been a while since I wrote something for him. <3

Three knocks sound on Bucky’s front door as his reflection stares back at him in the bathroom. He's leaning close to the mirror in careful criticism. Enough to see the green flecks in his irises. The freckles on his cheeks from being in the sun. The pricks of hair making up his scruff. Then he eases back and squares his shoulders. They fall after he releases a breath.

He prays he doesn’t look as restless as he feels.

The smile you give him when he answers the door carries a warmth he isn’t sure he deserves. But he takes it because that’s all he can do. Enjoy it like a man who’s been cold his whole life. By some miracle, he feels himself smiling back in that small, weighted way of his. It was a trade off of sorts, and now you’re even. No outstanding debts.

He motions you inside with a soft please, and you study him once you’re in the foyer. In the few seconds that you’re silently observing, Bucky wishes he knew exactly why. As tender as your gaze is, heat was already rising to his cheeks. But like everything else when it comes to you, he takes it. Looks right back at you shyly, pushes his hands into his pockets, and waits.

“Your hair’s shorter,” you finally say, smile growing wider. “Did you cut it?”

“Cut it,” he repeats like a question, hands moving to run through it. The previous night creeps back to the forefront of his mind.

When he’d gone for a walk to get some air and inadvertently found himself being drawn in by the red, white, and blue barber’s pole spiraling on the next block. It’d been ages since he’d gone to a professional, but walking inside to the faint scent of tobacco and aftershave made him feel as though he’d never stopped.

“Mhm,” you hum, certain.

The stumped look on his face vanishes like it was never supposed to be there. “I went and got it trimmed at a place called Ricky’s last night.”

“And you forgot that quickly?” Next thing he knows, you’re wrapping him in an embrace, peeking up at him after a few seconds, “I’m teasing.”

He squeezes you back tighter.

It’s you who eventually pulls away, and he finds himself trailing you as you venture deeper into his apartment, eyes roving thoughtfully. A coffee table now complements the couch in the living room. The walls are no longer bare. At long last, the space was beginning to look more like a home.

For the longest time, Bucky had only seen it as a place to rest his head after countless assignments that took him miles away. It didn’t need to be anything special, or so he thought. One of the first things you told him upon coming into his life was that he needed a constant. A place to come back to that he could make his own. That was his. He’d spent so much of his life serving other people and belonging to other people that he was finally learning what it meant to be his own.

It was exhausting not being halfway across the world with a task to busy his mind. Brooklyn was still in comparison. A place where he could recognize street names, faces, point out buildings that used to be something else when he was a kid. And now there was you, who made being stateside worthwhile in a way he didn’t think was possible. He realized then, how much he’d deprived himself of meaningful connections outside of work.

“It looks great in here, Buck. What’d I tell you?” Your earnesty is genuine. Makes him, as old and borderline cynical as he is, feel special. “You’re gonna have to start inviting me over more.” You shoot him a wink, and he freezes because of the weight of the implication. If you notice, you don’t say anything.

A few months ago you’d been strangers crossing paths. Then acquaintances. Now friends who cared about each other a whole awful lot. Only, it was more obvious on your end. He kept most of his sentiments guarded, not yet ready for them to bleed out like an open wound. It didn’t help that you were always wielding a knife, coming closer and closer to cut through the wall he built around himself.

“You can come over whenever you want,” he says. “I’m always here.”

“When you’re not on assignment,” you add. “And I know. I just don’t want to scare you away.”

Bucky frowns at the suggestion, but his lips eventually turn up. “Good thing you’re not a scary person,” he says, counting on earning a laugh. Something.

And you do, right before shaking your head. “I’m serious.”

“You couldn’t scare me away,” he assures.

You nod slowly. “So how’ve you been?” There’s something else lingering on the tip of your tongue, so he waits it out. It ends up punching him right in the gut. “You look…I don’t know.”

It hadn’t been all too long since he’d come back from Morocco. Only a week. And it would be a while before he was sent out anywhere else. His mind was in the constant process of drifting to the type of thoughts all men sifted through when they have nothing but time. Those regarding purpose, belonging, and meaning. Not to a deep, crippling degree, but enough to make him want to spring into some sort of action. Find something to indulge in that wasn’t saving the world.

Bucky swallows and shifts his weight. “Restless,” he offers. “Didn’t think you’d notice.”

“I’ll always notice.” Silence stretches between the two of you and a siren wails in the distance. “Maybe we can go out tonight, just you and me. Is that something you’d wanna do?” The question sounds shy.

What you didn’t know quite yet is that he’d probably do just about anything if it was with you.

***

At the end of the night, it’s Bucky who pulls out his card and pays for dinner. Not even giving you the chance to think about digging into your purse. As an old tune continues playing overhead, your grateful eyes sparkle at him from across the table.

Neither of you had dined here before. It’s one of the places Bucky said used to go by a different name and was run by a different family, Italians. You liked listening to him talk about what once was because it made you realize just how much he knew. Just how thoughtful and reverent he was when it came to the good memories he had.

Being listened to so intently was new for him. But he enjoyed it. Especially when you’d ask questions or bring up a point he made further back in the conversation. By the time the waiter comes back around with his card and his copy of the receipt, the two of you are basking in the memory of the evening and thinking about what the rest of the night may hold.

“This was really nice,” he says, folding his napkin and setting it aside on the table. Then his expression becomes consumed by a certain solemness. “I don’t know how well it comes across, but I need you to know that I appreciate you. A lot.”

Your heart nearly bursts. “I know, Bucky,” you promise. He still looks unconvinced, so you extend your hand face up on the table for him to take. “I know.”

The cab ride back to his place is quiet. You hold onto his hand the whole way, relishing the feeling of his thumb tracing back and forth over your skin. It’s a gesture that says I’m here with, I’ll be here as long as you’ll have me. Brooklyn passes by in rushes of darkness peppered with light. Pedestrians walk alongside the streets, some holding hands just like the two of you. It isn’t long before the driver pulls up alongside the curb of the complex.

It isn’t until you’re in the elevator that you’re sure that you want to stay.

The two of you get off at the fifth floor.

“Is it okay if I spend the night? If not, I completely understand. I know it’s such short notice,” you ramble as he’s turning his key into the door. He hopes you don’t notice the way he falters. But part of him knows you do. You don’t miss anything. Luckily for him, you’re just as fazed by your own question, holding your breath.

It’s not until you’re inside that he graces you with an answer, “‘Course you can.”

Your shoulders drop in relief. What you’re not expecting is the laugh he tries to bite back. Maybe it was mean of him, but he liked knowing he could make you sweat. Sometimes it seemed like it was only ever you who made him openly anxious.

“You’re terrible,” you accuse, failing at restraining a smile. “Absolutely horrible.” You’d forgotten to throw away an empty water bottle before you left, and it’s the closest thing you’re able to throw his way in retaliation. He catches it and tosses it in the trash himself.

Mischief written all along his smile when he starts towards you.

Partly scared and partly excited, you think to flee at the last second. After a few measly steps, you’re being pulled back into the firmness of his chest. He’s sure enough laughing now, the vibration rushing straight into your back right along with the warmth of his body. So are you. He only has one arm secured around your waist and, despite the fact that he’s not even trying, it's enough to hold you.

“Wait, wait, wait—hold on a second!” your words come out giggly both because you’re anticipating some sort of attack, and because he’s never held you quite like this before. Unlike a normal hug, this feels like he has you rather than you having each other. It’s vulnerable. Dizzying.

“You win, you win!”

“What?” he laughs in surprise. His mouth is so close to your ear that you shiver. “Thought you had more fight in you than that,” there’s a playful warmth to his words.

You shake your head in denial and relax back into him. You didn’t stand a chance of winning unless he let you, and you were more than willing to tap out early. Because even so, you were still in his arms at his mercy, and somehow that felt like the safest place to be. By the time you realize both of your laughter has faded to a thoughtful silence, he’s pressing a featherlight kiss to the shell of your ear.

When he lowers his arm from around your waist, you turn around to face him.

There’s a ghost of a smile on his face. He suddenly looks boyish, younger. Having crawled out of whatever shell of crushing expectation and responsibility he usually resided within.

When he cups your face and presses his lips to yours, his shoulders relax and his breaths slow. And for once, he indulges. In you. In the prospect of having someone to lean on and being leaned on in return. It’s a reminder that he’s allowed to experience nice things. To have a life to look forward to outside of lending himself to cause after cause.

You’re soft, and warm, and everything good a person could be. He pulls away slowly after a while, blinking down at you with heavy eyelids. You’re looking right back at him like he’s the world itself.

“Maybe you’re not so terrible,” you whisper, smiling.

Of everything he was feeling now, restless wasn’t one of them.

Thank you so much for reading! I promise I see every like, comment, and reblog and appreciate them all very much.

To join my “taglist,” follow @taleseverlasting

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes imagine #bucky imagine #bucky barnes fluff #bucky fluff #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky x fem reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x y/n

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howtotrainabraincell · 9 months ago

Note

Greetings my fellow AC mutual!!!

Lately I have been reading all your canon posts here and may I say that I love them all. You have created amazing canons here. I'm feeling extra romantic so here's an idea: how would the Assassins, including Templars, feel on their wedding day? The before, during and after the wedding. You can choose all of them or a few of them.

Please and thank you 😊🙏 and have a wonderful day today.

Sure thing! This is a cute one!!

A/N: I may not have put it in each one, but they will respect their wife's wishes to not be intimate on their wedding night (whether it be fear or being exhausted from the festivities). But...I mean come on. Who wouldn't want to have a wedding night with any of them?

ALSO, there may be multiple parts to this bc there's A LOT I got going on in this mind of mine when it comes to this lot getting married...

Jacob Frye

Before:

You know this man will have his Rooks there lolll they'll be throwing the biggest loudest bash London has ever seen in honor of their Boss getting hitched. He just might make Greenie his best man (he teases the man to the ninth realm and back but they're good buddies for real).

Jacob takes this seriously. He's still his wonderfully goofy and chaotic self but he takes certain aspects of marriage more seriously. He wants her to know that he'll be good to her, he'll protect her with his life, and he'll love her even after he dies. He also takes setting up a home for her seriously. The man isn't for anything lavish and she isn't either (her cozy non-materialistic ways are something that majorly attracted Jacob to her - high key don't think he'd like somebody who was materialistic, as happiness is in life not things) but he wants to set up a nice little place for them to call 'home' together. A place where they can be together as husband and wife and hopefully have a handful of little rooks running around one day. A place that's theirs and theirs alone.

During:

He thinks she looks beautiful in her wedding dress (he bet she looks even better out of it tho...PFFT). He'll never admit to it, but his eyes began to sting at the sight of her - and of course he wasn't rubbing the tears from his eyes throughout the ceremony! He just had something in his eyes...

He's very genuine and sweet when he recites his wedding vows 'In sickness and in health, etc.' to you, both of you having decided to save the personal vows for each other privately. (Heads up Jacob cried when he read her letter of vows and promises to him, he couldn't believe how sweet it was. Man was legit sitting there thinking 'How'd I get such a wonderful wife?'). He genuinely cannot believe that he found a wife who loves and accepts him for him. Rest assured that any insecurities Jacob has before they marry will soon be gone because his wife loves him the way he's always deserved.

Once the marital vows are said and done, they move on to the exchange of rings...and that's when the tears start.

Jacob knows that she isn't materialistic and that she doesn't need a fancy ring to know that he loves her, but he thinks she deserves it, and he has just thing in mind. Something that compliments her eyes because they're one of his top favorite (and he has a lot lol) things about her. Something that reflects the joy in her eyes when she laughs, the smile crinkles she's developed from years of managing to laugh through her struggles, and the swirls of color. Jacob would definitely enlist the help of his big sister in finding a ring for his soon to be wife and does.she.come.through. When it comes time for the ring exchange, he's pleasantly surprised to find that she put just as much thought into his ring as he did hers.

Both are engraved with confessions of their love for one another and intricately designed to match the spouse they were made for.

After:

He would enjoy the celebration, and it would be planned and based off of how his wife feels about such celebrations. Jacob being a bit more extroverted is likely to enjoy socializing and having a big get together - and if his wife is the same way then great! But if she's more introverted and can only take so much he's whisking her away, so she doesn't get stressed out. I actually think that he would want to be alone with his new wife and not just for *wink wink* but he wants some alone time to just have a slow moment with her. He would enjoy the celebration his Rooks put together for them and she thinks it's so sweet that they went all out, but as we know Mr. Frye has a tendency to act rashly when he becomes impatient. Next thing you know, he's scooping his wife up without a care in the world and carrying her off with a grin five miles wide, her face the exact replica of a tomato as she clings to him, and the Rooks cheering them goodbye as Jacob carries her off.

If she's afraid of the wedding night activities this man is instantly comforting her assuring her that he doesn't expect anything, he would never hurt her, and he'll wait for her. If she's tired? He is too honestly (he does have a lot of energy, but I imagine when he's alone he just OOF crashes but doesn't want anyone to see it. I mean he does have a full-time job annoying Evie ofc lol what else are baby brothers for?) so cuddling and going to sleep together is just fine with him. But if she wants him - tired or not - he'll give her everything he's got and then some.

Do I need to go into Jacob's wedding night? I mean... it's Jacob. The man lives to serve and please. And please he does...

Bayek of Siwa (I included him bc he legit started it all technically a Hidden One but potato pitatoh)

Before: This man is joyful on his wedding day. He's so excited to marry her and spend their days together. Whether this is after his divorce from Aya or we're not going with cannon and it's his first marriage - this man wants to be a husband, he is husband material. He can't wait to pledge himself to her before the gods and dedicate his life to loving her. He can't wait for her to be his wife HOWEVER - If we're going with cannon he was rejected when he proposed to Aya, so he has some understandable hesitancy when he proposes to his love. Can you blame him? He really loved the one he proposed to the first time and got shot down poor guy. It's the second time he's proposed in this life, and he does not make the mistake of thinking that just because they're in love that she'll say yes. He made that mistake before, and it felt like a knife to the gut.

BUT - If we're going with head cannon... this time he found himself a woman who was ecstatic to be proposed to by him (and I mean literally ecstatic like she tackled him in happiness making him laugh his ass off before she showered him in kisses and said yes).

If sticking to cannon he is worried and afraid deep down to remarry. He loves her very much so much in fact he believes that he very well loves her even more than he loved Aya (which like WOW ya know what I'm saying?). But when he's around her all fears and worries are eased and he comes to his senses knowing that he would forever regret not spending the rest of his life with her, now that he's met her and has her in his life.

Headcannon wise he's still a bit scared as being a Medjay is stressful and a known profession in which one is likely to gain enemies (insert middle finger to members of the order of ancients). He worries about her being targeted but he knows that she can take care of herself (she'll make one hell of a Medjay's wife that's for sure LOL). He also fears that it would be selfish to marry her and put her in danger - but upon sharing this fear with her she quickly dismantled his fear. Whether they marry or do not marry, either way - she could possibly be targeted by his enemies, to this he agreed. Then she asserted that it would be better that they face their adversaries together with their love motivating them to eliminate all threats, than to face those who oppose them separately. To this he simply smiled and hugged her tightly melting into her embrace.

During: They didn't really have weddings in Ancient Egypt more so the signing of a binding marriage document, the woman moving into the man's home to live with him as his wife, and then it could/would be followed by a celebration. However...that is Egypt as a whole...not Siwa. Those of us who have seen this beautiful spot in Egypt where beloved Bayek is from, know that it's beautiful and lively (quite frankly a great place to start a family) and you just know that Bayek is from a community that loves him. They're going to throw him and his intended a celebration to end all celebrations.

Hepzefa ISN'T dead I.DON'T.CARE - he's absolutely Bayek's best man.

Bayek in his armor and her in a linen dress covered by a layer of sheer fabric with a lily in her hair, as they get married in the evening when it cools off, the sand unable to burn their feet and the sun unable to glare in their eyes so they can actually look at each other lol. Any fear he had is gone when he sees her at the end of the aisle. They meet each other at the end of the aisle and join arms to walk together toward Hepzefa (who OFC is marrying them obvs). They make their vows before the gods to love, cherish, respect, support and be honest with each other for as long they both live.

After:

Again, if we're sticking to cannon, I think that Bayek would move in with his new wife instead of her moving in with him. A new home and a fresh start with his new wife, is just what this man could use after his arduous journey.

Headcannon however they would move into their own place in Siwa together and work together to make their home everything they dreamed it could be. I HIGHLY believe that he would find a way to make a pond for her filled with water lilies (his nickname for her btw - she's his "beautiful lily").

After a night of dancing, laughter, feasting and sheer happiness they would go home together. They would end the night by sitting on the roof of their new home together watching the Oasis of Siwa from afar, bundled up tightly together in a blanket against the chill air of the Egyptian night. He would point out the different spots of Siwa from they sat, but mostly they would admire the beauty of the moon on the oasis not too far away. They might even go for a swim in the cool waters together, laughing and splashing each other. Tell.me.he doesn't sneak attack her from underwater lloollll. They'd spin around in the water easily with Bayek holding her against him and smiling as she gushes about how much she's enjoyed the day.

I don't think Bayek would make love to her on the banks of the oasis for their first time the man has romantic plans that he plans to woo her with lol. (Later on, in their marriage though...woo!) Rest assured that their first time will be sweet and romantic, he'll make her as comfortable as possible, with pillows everywhere and candlelight guiding their hands within the walls of their home.

Also like the idea of them traveling to Alexandria together and having their honeymoon there. Them exploring the Alexandrian Lighthouse together, the library (shortly before it BURNED DOWN DAMN YOU CAESER), horseback riding through the sand dunes and around the lush greenery near the Nile, going to the markets together and giggling about whatever it is that they find funny, sailing on the Nile together and fishing/gathering reeds for various projects, THEY WOULD CLIMB THE PYRAMIDS TOGETHER CHANGE.MY.MIND.

Evie Frye

Before: Their wedding isn't one that can be celebrated openly but they still have a celebration that is the epitome of love. The two women had both agreed to write their vows for one another and exchange them after the wedding, wanting to keep their promises to each other and words of love just between them.

They couldn't decide on names lol. Evie wanted her last name, and she wanted Evie's last name. But they quickly came up with a solution as they both have brothers. They decided to hyphenate their last names for some extra cover. Evie becomes Mrs. Frye-(L/N) and she becomes Mrs. (L/N)-Frye. That way no one would suspect them being married and if anyone ever asks, Evie married one of her (wife's) brothers and is her "sister-in-law" the same way Jacob is a stand in husband for Evie's wife and she is Evie's "sister-in-law". History will say that they were sisters in law hahaha.

But for real though tell me why they end up calling each other "Mrs" SO MUCH in private (Evie almost forgets that she's a Dame bc she gets called Missus *insert her last name* so much by her wife haha).

During:

Not able to shout their love from the rooftops unfortunately, the couple settles to have a very small and private ceremony. Jacob - who would NEVER breathe a word, Henry who's just happy to see them happy, Ned would probably be there and while Abberline would be SHOOK (I don't care if that word died out like 8 years ago lol it's funny) he would be pleased to know that they've found happiness together.

Tell me why I'm so damn sure that Jacob marries them (he would do that for his sister jokes, loving eye rolls from his big sister and all). They would either get married on the train not too far from the Red Lion where they would go afterward to celebrate, or in Henry's shop (his wedding gift would be lots of various flowers ranging from "everlasting love" to "trust and loyalty").

OR I do have a head cannon that they don't have any witnesses at all. They go up to rooftop facing the Thames and wait for sunrise together with their rings and a basket of goodies they both enjoy. When the sun begins to rise, they make their vows to each other tearfully and very sincerely, pledging the rest of their lives to each other and promising to always be together and love one another. They do this so that they can start the new day together as wives and say what they truly want to one another without an audience. It'll even become tradition years later that they both stay up until sunrise to celebrate their anniversary as the years go on, just the two of them

After:

They do their own wedding presents, and the new Mrs. Frye can't help but giggle at Evie's reaction when she gives her the special edition of her favorite book. I think we can all imagine how ecstatic the loveable bookworm that is Dame Evie Frye would be.

When Evie reads the vows, her new wife has written for her she boo hoos too lol. She can't believe that she's lucky enough to have married such a sweet and wonderful woman. Especially when she thought she would never marry and dedicate her entire life to the Creed.

Something fun the two women embark on together is setting up their home together. Not having been able to have had an open wedding they didn't have wedding showers or receive the traditional wedding gifts; they pick out each piece of their new home together! With how in sync, they are together there is hardly anything they disagree on (unless its Evie's wife trying to get her to stop working herself almost to death...by smooching her to the point where Evie looks like a laughing tomato haha) and their home comes together wonderfully. Everything in their home cozy and a reminder of their love.

It takes Evie a little bit before she finally lets go of the fear that getting married to her love, was nothing more than a wonderful dream. But each morning when she wakes up and either sees her wife next to her sleeping safe and sound, or she wakes to beautiful flowers followed by Mrs. Frye trailing in quietly with a cup of morning tea for her still sleepy wife. Her wife can rest assured that Dame Evie Frye will love her for the rest of their lives.

Altair Ibn La' Ahad

Before: He never thought he would marry or fall in love the way he's fallen in love with her. He's a naturally a confident man, so there's no doubt in his mind that he wants to be her husband and spend the rest of his life with her. There's no doubt...but there is worry. He worries about being a good husband to her in terms of giving her a safe stable home due to being an assassin and he knows that he can be...emotionally stunted, but he plans to correct that and never leave her wondering if he loves her. Because he does with his whole being. After all, if she can help pull him out of his younger arrogant ways, by gently and patiently telling him why he's wrong without criticizing him, then she can do anything.

During: His worries are vanquished when he sees her. He immediately knows that come what may, they'll be alright so long as they're together. He can't stop looking at her during the wedding, making her blush as he smiles at her (surprising the hell out of Malik lol bc the 'tHe nOvICe cAn SmILe?') As they take their vows a few cheeky looks are given here and there the pair obviously checking each other out, (insert Malik gagging like a goof). Altair can't get over how she looks like an otherworldly being with her beauty unmatched by anyone or anything. She can't get over how handsome and gallant he looks in his robes, with his hood down (GASP), his sword at his side as his thumbs rub the backs of her hands. (But with the hood thing he's never had anything to hide, he just wants to show his face and let everyone know that he's marrying her and that he's proud to be her husband. He's a very proud husband haha). When they seal their new union with a kiss, he bends down to pick her up and hold her tightly making her laugh. They both can't stop smiling, completely and utterly happy and excited to start the rest of their life together.

After: He would bring her jasmine and a few Damasks roses - they're nowhere near as beautiful as he thinks she is but the sweetness of each flower reminds him of her - in a neatly gathered bushel and loves the smile it brings to her face. He doesn't care about having a wedding night, he just wants to be with his wife and love on her in whatever manner she wishes. Sitting there and watching the stars over Masyaf or Jerusalem (depending on when/where they get married) If she wants to lay there with him and relax, he's happy to hold her and do just that. But if she wants him to take her...her mind will be blown at just how loving her new husband can be...

Ratonhnhake:ton/Connor Kenway

Before: He's worried about being a good husband. Very worried. He wants to be a wonderful husband to her, as wonderful as she is to him. He loves her with everything he has of course and would defend her with his life. But he was so focused on his mission to take the Templar order down, to get justice for his mother, so focused on his rage...that despite how much he loves her, he wonders if he can pull himself out of the dark mindset that he was in for so long to treat her the way she deserves. He will try but he still worries. He doesn't want to be angry (never at her keep in mind - about life in general) his entire life. Her kisses and presence helps though, more than she'll ever understand. He wants to be there for her as much as she's been there for him, through thick and thin, no matter what.

During: Feel like there would be two weddings for the couple. A colonial one (planned by the Homestead for the happy couple) and a traditional Mohawk wedding (planned by the Clan mother who is so excited to see him getting married), a wedding to honor both his and her culture. He stands like a statue clasping his hands in front of him patiently, eager, and nervously until he sees her. Cheesy as it is... the sight of her brings him peace. He can't even wait for her to make it to the altar, making his way to her down the aisle in a few long strides to meet her with a smile. They walk down the aisle together arm in arm and hands intertwined, unable to contain their excitement.

After: He can't stop staring at his wedding ring and smiling at it. Typically, the Mohawk people did not exchange wedding rings until modern times, but he loves his and what it represents. The eternal love and union he and his wife will share. His face hurts from smiling so much, but he doesn't mind it a bit. Now as for the wedding night... I think he would be very shy at first. Terrified of hurting her because he's very aware of the fact that he's massive and intimidates a lot of people. He would never do that to her. Being with her is honestly really enough for him, the emotional intimacy the two share is what made him so sure about making her his wife. The newlyweds would work their way up into sex slowly, getting a little closer each time and accompanied by lots of reassurance and soft laughter. And when they finally got it, the assassin and his wife had never felt more complete in their lives. He makes love in plenty of other ways though - mostly through his thoughtfulness and observation which leads to anticipation. He always knows what she needs before she even asks and he's always happy to help.

Their mornings start off with him usually waking first and realizing that marrying her wasn't a dream. He'll watch her sleeping peacefully in his arms, and then inspect their fingers where their wedding bands lie and realize that it's real. They got married. He's married to this wonderful woman. She's, his wife. Before he can begin to spiral in excitement he leans down and scoops her closer to him, burying his face in her neck which makes her laugh softly.

Venturing outside together to enjoy nature and do various outdoor activities, playful banter and pairing up to hunt together and scavenge. He'll look over and see her helping him with a fresh kill or scavenging other items and become overwhelmed with the desire to kiss her out of nowhere. Needless to say, lots of love and laughter fills the lives of Ratonhnhake:ton and his wife.

Henry Green/Jayadeep Mir

Before: He's happy and so ready to be her husband. He's admitted to himself that he's liked her from their first meeting, but he's loved her almost as long (which is not long at all because he fell for her quick). I don't know why but I can imagine that Jacob might try to do the whole "you know how the wedding night works right?" talk with him much to Henry's horror haha. He gently assures the younger Frye that he does in fact know what to do on his wedding night with his wife, if she'll have him. Don't worry though! The man is from India the birthplace of Kama Sutra...he knows what to do. Trust him.

During: Whether she wears the usual white dress or chooses to honor his culture by wearing traditional Indian bridal clothes, this man will be emotional. Guaranteed his eyes will begin to water when he sees how beautiful the woman he loves is, walking down the aisle to him. When they take each other's hands, he can't help the goosebumps of excitement he gets thinking about how lucky he feels to be marrying such a woman. He'll never understand how he got her to agree to marry him (despite being charming have a head cannon that his charm goes out the window when it comes to proposing to her lol he was so nervous that she would say no!) but he'll never forsake her or take her for granted. Perish the thought!

After: Get ready for a very fun honeymoon! Traveling together and studying each place you go, learning fun facts and the history behind the cultures. I think he would be so excited to show her around where he grew up and tell her stories (the happier ones) from his childhood. I also think that Mr. Green would be eager to prove that his intelligence is more than just the book variety...

Shay Patrick Cormac

Before: He's excited. But also, nervous. So nervous. He's aware that the type of life he leads isn't the safest or the most routine/regular thing a man can do. But you can bet that he'll be damned if he doesn't give his all to be a good husband to her. A worry that runs through his mind is dying at sea on the Morrigan and leaving her widowed and alone. He noticeably goes on less voyages after they marry only going when it's necessary. Depending on when they get married, he may still be traveling around on Templar/Shay way business - but either way whether he's close to retirement or still working, he wants to settle down with her. He plans to create a nice home for her, take care of her, love her, and have a handful of beautiful babies that he'll love almost as much as he loves her.

During: The moment he lifts her veil from her face he can't take his eyes off of her. Literally. The only time he does is to briefly and gently slide the ring onto her finger, otherwise he's smiling and staring at her like a lovesick puppy lol. He's so busy admiring his bride that Haytham with a smirk on his face gently clears his throat reminding Shay that the time to seal his new union has come. When the Irish captain realizes what the Grandmaster is saying the man blushes in slight embarrassment, and you bet he turns right around and kisses his new wife. The pair laughs as those invited applaud in celebration, but they're in their own world together.

After: After the wedding he'll take her to his home (read: their home that he hopes she loves) in New York so they can be alone together, in more ways than one. Their home will definitely know what love is when they're there together. He's a go go go kind of man as we've all seen but he's slow and gentle with her and if she finds herself too tired to celebrate in a more intimate way, she better get ready for the best cuddle session of her life. However, if she does find herself in need of her husband...let's just say that he's Captain of more than the Morrigan... Tell me why the idea of him untying his wife's corset is very erotic... Once they start married life together this man is taking her on the Morrigan (if she wants to go that is if not, he has plenty of other fun things in mind...) and sailing her to wherever she wants to go. I imagine she would choose Ireland to learn about where her husband's family came from, and Shay would love showing her around his place of origin.

Haytham Kenway

Before: He's composed in public ever the austere Grandmaster.... but a mess in private. He can't stop fidgeting with his cravat, pulling at his sleeves, straightening his coat. He looks absolutely handsome, but he knows that he won't hold a candle to his angel of a wife - who he DEFINITELY peeked at lol. You telling me this man didn't try to go to talk to her before the wedding because he missed her, and he doesn't stop short by the crack in the door, dumbfounded by how beautiful she looks? His face will be redder than his vest. With how in love with her he is, he feels less the confident Templar, and more so a little boy in very deep love. He's so happy that he gets to marry his love and spend his life with her, just the sight of her alone helps him to calm down and realize: he's marrying the love of his life.

During:

When he sees her coming down the aisle to him, he forgets how to breathe for a moment. The majority of the ceremony is spent exchanging loving gazes, gentle hand squeezes and him trying not to pass out. She notices how flustered he seems and reaches up to gently cup his face for no one's benefit but his. Needless to say, it helps to calm him significantly.

He can't believe how beautiful she is and how he got her to agree to marry him. Haytham doesn't say it in his vows, but he'll give her the world and more and always take care of her. With this man I have a feeling that actions speak louder than words (I mean did you see how he got rizzed by Ziio LOL everyone thought HE would woo HER, but she BAMBOOZLED him). He may not speak what he's feeling, and she may have to play fill in the blanks sometimes when he becomes overwhelmed by his emotions (cue him being very grateful for her patience), but with her complete agreement he's more than happy to show her in a deep kiss or something a bit more husbandly...

When they're pronounced husband and wife he steps forward while the officiant is still speaking and kisses her with abandon. The Grandmaster is thrown out the window for the moment and the lovestruck man comes out much to his new wife's delight. He embraces her tightly never wanting to let her go and his arms sweep her up in quick spin that makes her squeak in laughter as his own grin spreads across his face.

He would spoil.her.rotten come the wedding and wedding presents.

After:

The celebration would be a grand one and last long into the night. Shay swears upon the Morrigan that he'll knock Hickey's lights out if he gets pissed and starts to cause a ruckus LOOOLL. Haytham is a good dancer, but he doesn't like to make a spectacle of himself, for his new bride however he'll get out there and dance with her feeling absolute contentment in knowing that of all the men in the room that could have her in their arms he has her instead. He enjoys watching her have fun, and every time she finds him in the room and smiles at him while she's dancing, the man swears to the gods that his heart starts to race. You can definitely bet that his face stays a decent shade of red for the majority of the ceremony and party.

The party doesn't end when she comes to him and asks if he's ready to retire for the night, taking his hand when he agrees and pulling him toward the stairs. This man's face is ON FIRE as they go up the stairs together because everyone knows what they're going up there to do and that damn Irish Captain won't stop smirking at him -

He'll help her undress not solely for the purpose of making love to her, but because he wants to help her get comfortable (her beautiful form in front of him in nothing but a chemise is definitely motivation too...). Making her comfortable is his number one priority whether they make love that night or not. Making sure the curtains are drawn so the sunlight won't bother her in the morning, the fire is lit to keep her warm (I head cannon them getting married in winter for some reason... I mean they can keep each other warm during the colder months), making sure she has water on her bedside chamber.

They lay together after the long night holding each other comfortably softly speaking about how wonderful everything was. They may discuss the Order if she's curious about it and she'll make goo goo eyes at him as he speaks so passionately about it, with him blushing as she looks at him so lovingly. They may discuss books they've been reading together (tell me Haytham wouldn't have a private little book club for just him and his wife I DARE YOU). Things between them may become charged when they hold each other's gaze for too long... and then he'll really make her Mrs. Kenway...

NOTE: I KNOW I DIDN'T DO SEVERAL CHARACTERS IN THIS POST I'M SORRY OKAY. Seriously though some characters came easier than others - but there will in fact be a part 2.

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darlinluxx · 4 months ago

Text

𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐊 | 𝐊𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐀𝐄 𝐁𝐘𝐄𝐎𝐊 ౨ৎ

pairing : saebyeok x fem!reader

angst, small amount of fluff ???

warnings : angst

summary : you two could never be friends. you’re still in love.

a/n : based off of sick by dominic fike

if you have any requests, feel free to message me <3

𝐓he chipped mug warms your hands, the faded floral pattern a familiar comfort. it’s the same mug you always used, back when your morning routine included a shared kitchen and the lingering scent of Saebyeok’s shampoo. you look out the window, watching the city wake up, the grey light reflecting the grey knot in your stomach. she’s supposed to be here soon.

you made a promise — a promise to be friends. you’d both moved on, gone separate ways after that messy, complicated whirlwind you called “us.” but “friends” was the goal, an amicable postscript to a love that burned too bright, then flickered out. now you just need to do it. be friends.

the doorbell rings, its chime sharp and jarring in the quiet apartment. you take a deep breath, forcing a smile before you open the door. there she is, leaning against the frame, hands shoved in her pockets, the same posture you used to find so captivating. the familiar sting of recognition hits you, a punch to the chest that steals your breath.

“hey,” she says, her voice a low rumble that sends a shiver down your spine, a shiver that has absolutely nothing to do with the chilly morning air.

“hey, Saebyeok.” you reply, trying to keep the tremble out of your voice. you usher her inside, feeling strangely self-conscious of your small apartment, the same apartment she used to know so well.

she surveys the room, a flicker of something — perhaps nostalgia — crossing her face. you offer her the mug in your hands, filled with lukewarm tea. she accepts, her fingers brushing yours as she takes it. a jolt, electric and unwelcome, courses through you. it’s just a touch, barely a thing, but your body remembers. it remembers her. you remember her. too well.

you try to talk about the weather, about work, about anything that isn’t the heavy silence that seems to hang between you. you’re both being so careful, walking on eggshells made of unspoken feelings. but with every shared laugh, every accidental glance, the wall you’ve been desperately trying to build around your heart crumbles a little bit more.

she tells you about her new coworkers, how frustrating it is learning new systems. you nod, pretending to listen, but all you can hear is the way her laughter used to fill your apartment, the way her hand used to fit perfectly in yours. you catch yourself staring at the way her hair falls across her forehead, the way she always pushes it back with an impatient flick of her wrist. you find yourself lost in the little details, the details you thought you’d forgotten.

the casual conversation continues, but you feel like an imposter, a fraud playing the role of a “friend.” your every word is a carefully constructed facade, each syllable a lie designed to hide the truth that simmers beneath your skin. the truth that seeing her, hearing her low voice, being in the same room as her, still makes your heart ache like it’s been wrenched from your chest.

the afternoon wears on. you share stories, your laughter echoing in the small space, a hollow imitation of the genuine joy you once shared. by the time she stands up to leave, you feel exhausted, drained from the effort of maintaining this charade.

at the door, she turns back, a hesitant smile on her lips. “this was nice.” she says, a hint of uncertainty in her voice.

“yeah,” you reply, your voice barely a whisper. “nice.”

she steps out into the hallway, and you close the door, leaning against it, your breath catching in your throat. the “friend” act was exhausting. it was too much.

you look around the apartment, now silent. the mug sits on the counter, a silent witness to your internal struggle. you know, deep down, that you can’t do this. you can’t pretend to be friends with someone you’re still so desperately in love with. you can’t be around her and not want more. you can’t handle the constant push and pull of desire and denial. you realize with a painful clarity that you can’t have this “friendship” because you still want her, want everything, in a way that being friends doesn’t allow for.

the truth hits you with the force of a tidal wave. you can’t be friends with her because you’re still hopelessly, irrevocably in love with her. and that, you know, is a war you can’t possibly win.

#kang sae byeok #kang saebyeok #sae byeok #saebyeok #kang sae byeok x reader #kang saebyeok x reader #sae byeok x reader #saebyeok x reader #squid game x reader #squid game

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 8 months ago

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Just One Reason: Happiest Time of Year

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Lloyd Hansen

masterlist - to be added

Summary: A chance encounter at the sandwich shop doesn’t end how you expect.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

You put the phone down. You don’t even have the energy to be disappointed, because you’re not surprised. You don’t have hope left to be let down. You blow out between your lips and hang your head, holding it as you rest your elbows on your legs.

Right. There’s nothing left. You can’t ever accept that but you also can’t change that. Yet what is really the twist of the knife is that you’re not getting your money back. It’s the beginning of December and you’re dirt poor. Literally. Everything you have is now in the ground.

Well, at least you don’t have any gifts to buy. You roll your eyes back before another deluge of tears can flow over. You throw yourself back against the couch and sigh.

“So, how did that go?” Lloyd gives you a start as his timbre slices through the tension.

“How everything’s been going,” you sit up, embarrassed, unsure of how long he’s been there. “So, not well, but nothing I can do but keep going forward. If that’s even possible.”

“Mm, I’m sorry, toots,” he hums.

You stand and shrug. “I think I’m just going to go be alone.”

He nods as he watches you curl around the couch and cross the room. He doesn’t move from the doorway, “shoot, I never seen you like. I never imagined you so down. I wish I could do something to cheer you up.”

“You’ve done enough,” you insist. “Really. I mean, if I can’t get out of here quick enough, there’s a shelter--”

“A shelter? No, no, you stay here as long as you need to,” he shows his palms. “Oh, wait, I got an idea. Something to distract you, huh?”

“I don’t know,” you drone.

“Tell me you’re not tired of wearing my handmedowns,” he tugs on the borrowed pullover and you shy away.

“Better than nothing,” you say.

“Right, well, I like that about you, tootsie roll. Easy to please, but you gotta start knowing your worth. You deserve better. So how about it, we can go for a shopping spree?”

You blink at him. “Lloyd, I can’t. I don’t--”

“Merry Christmas. Consider it my gift to you.”

“Christmas...”

“Nothing wrong with an early present,” he smirks. “Come on.”

“But... I can’t pay you back. I can’t even get you a gift.” You deflate, “without my laptop, I don’t even have a job.”

“Add that to the list,” he ticks the air with his finger. “Your gift to me will be coming with me. So, let’s go.”

You stare at him. You can’t say no. Not after everything. He’s all you have left and he’s so nice. That man you saw shouting in a sandwich shop turned out to be so much different than you expected. For once, a bad thing ended up better.

“Right, sure. Let’s go hit a Walmart,” you force a smile. It’s less than genuine. It hurts your cheeks and your heart. Your eyes sting.

“Walmart? Pfft, forget that noise,” he grabs onto your wrist and pulls you through the doorway. “Coat, boots, tie em up tight. We’re gonna be doing a lot of walking.”

❄️

You rub your hands together as you cross the lot towards the mall. As you near the doors, the glass reflects you. You see yourself next to Lloyd. You see how much you don’t belong, not just him, but there.

As always, his hair is perfect quaffed. Combed neatly with the sides trimmed close. And he wears a stylish coat, not a practical one. His leather boots give him little traction and he grabs your shoulder as he slips on a patch of ice.

“Woah, you okay?” You grab his elbow to steady him. You’re not much help.

“Good,” he snorts. “Got you to hold me up.”

You scoff, “whatever.”

“Almost got you,” he teases.

“Almost got me what?” You wonder.

“Smiling. For real this time,” he says. “I’ll get there.”

He reaches for the door and opens it for you. You thank him as you step through. It feels overly polite, especially for him. He follows you inside and the warmth trapped in the crowded mall hits you like as wall. Your shivering is quickly replaced with a sheen of sweat.

You remove your gloves, then your hat. The only things you have that are yours are your outerwear; only what you wore on that horrible night. You sniff and look around. The other shoppers gab and giggle and you just want to melt onto the floor with the thawed snow.

“Oh, first thing’s first, lattes,” Lloyd grabs your hand and drags you towards the open front of the cafe.

“Lloyd.”

“Look, they have a candy cane one. Gotta try it. Tis the season, right?”

“That’s nice, but really, it’s fine. We should just get what we need,” you say.

“We need lattes,” he insists as he stops in the queue.

“Alright,” you surrender. You’re not going to argue. You have no place to. He's doing something nice, you shouldn’t be such a dark cloud.

The cafe is as busy as the rest of the place. You’re not surprised. It’s that time of year. There’s jingling music, bright signs declaring outrageous sales, and tinsel all around.

Lloyd clucks, “jeez, sure taking their time.”

“It’s packed,” you say softly. “Gotta be patient, I guess.”

“Mm, guess you’re right.” He taps his toe and puts his hands on his hips.

You glance over at him as he stares over the heads of the girls in front of you. They narrow as he watches the barista chatter to a coworker as she refills the whipped cream dispenser. He sighs. For a moment, you see the man you first met in that shop, yelling about a wrap.

“Would be fast if they stopped yapping,” he mutters under his breath.

“Lloyd,” you chide gently, “if it’s too much of a wait, we can skip it.”

“No, I want a latte. You need a latte. You deserve one,” he snips. “You should be spoiled, tootsie. You’ve lost so much, you should get one thing you want.”

It hits you like a slap. ‘Lost so much...’ If only he knew how much. Like really knew how much it hurts. You lower your chin and shudder out a breath. You’re dizzy from all the people and the noise and the smell of cinnamon.

“Hey, uh, do you mind if I sit down?” You ask breathily.

“Yeah, that’s fine, but... are you okay?” His forehead lines with concern.

“It’s... yeah, just realise I haven’t eaten since breakfast.”

“No? I told you to help yourself.” He arches a brow.

“Yeah, I just forgot. Lot on my mind,” you nod and look away. “I see a table in the corner. I just need to rest my legs.”

“Sure, sweetie,” he reaches and runs his hand down your arm, a gesture that surprises you.

You watch his touch fall past your sleeve and you cautiously back away. He turns his attention back to the counter and his throat bobs as he moves forward with the line. You retreat and claim the small table in the corner.

It isn’t just the crowd or the music or the cheer, it’s that he’s not there. Your dad isn’t there. You might not be alone and you owe Lloyd that but you are in agony. You just want him back.

#lloyd hansen #dark lloyd hansen #dark!lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen x reader #series #drabble #just one reason #the gray man

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ranwan-love · 8 months ago

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Pick a Card: A reality check you need.

Trying to give you a reality check as your blunt bestfriend....

Buy me coffee:

https://buymeacoffee.com/idcbutibel6

Pile one

Friends?? How is your friend circle?? Are you happy with them? Are they really nice people who knows the balance of give and take?? Do they support you even behind your back or just empty words on your face??? How do you feel after spending time with them???? Babe there are some questions you need to ask yourself and these are few of those.

You know what true nature of our soul is stability. It's not high vibration, low vibration or any vibration at all it's completely shunya. Don't confuse this with staying the way you are or not growing because you are at peace whatsoever but it's rather being at peace. Peace brings stability or anything that brings you peace leads to stability. Like walking out of your comfort zone brings peace or resting when needed.

Like let me explain

we are at frequency A; we attract everything of similar frequency. Eventually the space gets filled you can't attract more or if you forcefully try to attract or manifest, same frequency material will come to you in different ways or facade? And you might even feel exhausted or in endless loop.

you increase your frequency; like by doing your inner work, accepting your casualties, improving them and stay in this period for some time. When it becomes new normal to you, your frequencies shift and you attract better new things. This is kinda what I mean with stability and peace. I am sorry if I am not able to explain it well lol. But at same time if you start playing victim or self pity your vibration goes down and you attract same frequency people and things in life!!! So like I don't know if you gonna accept it or not but the friends or people around you are direct reflection of you. So stop resonating with these part of yourself, clean the space and focus on parts of yourself that you want to resonate with.

So now ask yourself if your friend or family don't bring you peace are they right for you? If not, why they are here and to what extent? On what parts they are reflecting on you.

Pile Two

Parents+protection??? Okay does your parents need protection or you need protection from them or maybe protection from yourself as you have mastered there voice in your head which is always there to hurt you.

I don't know why I suddenly thought of Palestine so I am setting intention for them too that they are safe. And if there's some other issues like parents having bad health or just you having tricky relationship with them. I hope it heals too.

You know what this pile at first gave me two type of energies one who love their parents or just hate them but after few minutes I realised no it's rather specific. It's pretty much love and hate relationship. It's like you love them alot but things they do, say or project on you ruins you completely. You might be living under same rooftop which turns out to be really toxic and takes quite a toll on you. At same time you can't hate them completely because you see how much they are working for you.

So I want to say it's ok. Things make way more sense from your perspective intead of some third party who will ask you to cut off them.

Instead try accepting, forgiving and drawing boundaries. I guess it kinda sounds stupid but let me try to explain

Accept that there's a part of them which cares for you even tho their actions says otherwise. Like even there words like wish you were never born, you should die, you would eat us alive anything. They don't mean it. But you would say hey they mean it because it sounded so genuine when they said it! So listen it's there ego self who said it, ego who have been tormented, went through pain, trauma,experience of there own. Try to imagine there higher selfs they definitely hate this behaviour too. Like does there higher self hate you same way, do they wish for you to die? It's just they project there pain on you and it somehow relieves them. You know why because that's all they can do! You have a chance to escape, you have freedom. They never did. Be it your mom or dad! So this is all they could!, so there words hold no value other than just pain.

genuineness you felt in those words was pain they were feeling. It sometimes also comes from a place that my kid is different what if society doesn't appreciate it, worst case hurt him/her? Because that's what happened to them. So while trying to protect you from so called society they become something worse or you can say became the society they were scared of!

So forgive them! Everytime they argue stay quiet, don't give unnecessary reaction,observe where the pain is coming from. You will be able to generate empathy without getting hurt.

Third draw boundaries! Now you accepted and forgave them but that doesn't mean now this is enough so draw boundaries! Start with subtle ones and than eventually increase them. Create space for yourself.

Pile Three

Okay so how does it feel to be your biggest enemy? Does it feel good? Are you enjoying it? Just a genuine question are you sadist or masochist? Maybe both??? Like is it enough or are you going to do it more?? Do what??

"SELF HARM!!!! SELF PITY!!!!"

Like okay bud! I know you had harsh life, traumatic childhood even whole of teenage but does that mean you gonna keep self pitying yourself? Do you think a prince will come?? Your twin flame will come or perhaps jungkook will come??

It's wierd to explain but it's more like you don't play victim but self pity alot!! It also takes away power in really quiet way.

Let me try explaining with example. Imagine you have set of bad experiences, where you barely survived and reached here. You definitely observe how strong you were or how much you have grown. You analyse that thing so well to point you have realisation that you were not a victim but a warrior. But than you self pity like oww man why me why such harsh experience didn't i deserve better, i was a kid too. Would I be better if things were different??

You just keep reliving the moment and the pain.

At this point you just like pain? I think you watch way too many kdrama where main character is shown so powerful because she goes through so much. So you have made this belief

"pain=growth/greatness". The pain or experience you were given they might have been source of transformation or growth but you reliving those experiences in your head is not. You are just patting your ego that you are next chosen one or something. Babe even if you are chosen one , if you stay stuck in your head, procrastinating what you need to do, ignoring your body needs you won't be able to fulfill your purpose of chosen one. So do some grounding and practical work. Like if you are doing everything and still things are not working it's simply because you are stuck in this mental cycle.

I don't know if this will go along the above message but just accept whatever happened,happened.

You already learnt from it, If some message is important it will come as direct clear sentence in your head. Best of luck.

*you might be poet or writing poems might help you release this self pity or pain inducing habbit!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks alot!!! 💚

Please please let me know if it resonated with you.

It will help me develope confidence as I am really new to doing readings for other people. It was always limited to myself or my really close people. So your opinions would matter alot.

Thanks alot once again

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maturemenoftvandfilms · 4 months ago

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Philippe, King of the Belgians

Featuring Philippe of Belgium

It was around noon when I finally rolled into the charming streets of Brussels after four hours on the road. The winding lanes, cobbled streets, and the soft hum of the city greeted me as I slowed down. The low buzz of chatter from nearby cafés mixed with the rich aromas of fresh pastries and strong coffee. I was exhausted from the journey, and as I passed a street corner, something caught my eye.

A little restaurant stood out, tucked into a corner of the industrial district. The sign above read La Tricoterie. The name had a certain charm, and as I drew closer, it seemed like the kind of place to grab a bite and reflect on my journey, so I decided to go in.

As soon as I entered, I noticed a lively crowd, murmuring with excitement. A buzz of conversation filled the air, and there was an energy I hadn’t expected. I stepped toward the bar, thinking about what to order, when I overheard a piece of news that stopped me in my tracks. Philippe, the King of the Belgians, was here. Not only was he in the restaurant, but he was dining with a small group of young people—bright-eyed activists and local leaders eager to discuss their projects aimed at improving social links in the city.

As I watched him speak, his eyes would often meet mine. I began to notice his entrancing eyes, and I would find myself admiring his 6’1”, 64-year-old figure. His salt-and-pepper hair, neatly styled, and clothing he wore, I found all appealing. And I couldn’t help but notice his cologne when I greeted him.

“Your Majesty,” I stammered, “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m just passing through on my travels.”

To my surprise, he extended a hand toward me, his grip firm and welcoming. “Please, call me Philippe. It’s always nice to meet someone new. Are you here for long?”

I nodded, still a bit in awe of the situation. “Just a few days. I’ve been traveling through Europe, trying to see as much as I can.”

Philippe’s eyes twinkled as he leaned in a bit, showing genuine interest. I was starting to feel Philippe sensed I had feelings toward him, despite the fact that at 64 he was more than twice my age. My sexuality was obvious to the older man even though my boyish appearance didn’t broadcast it, and all that only made the Belgian king more interested.

After a few more minutes of easy conversation, he turned to his companions and excused himself. The next words he said left me speechless.

“I’d like to offer you a tour of Laeken Castle, if you’re interested. It’s not often I meet travelers like you who seem to appreciate the little things.”

I was taken aback, but the invitation was kind. “Really? That would be an incredible honor.”

His smile was wide and kind. “I’d be happy to show you around. You seem like the type who would enjoy it.”

“That would be awesome!” I gushed. I couldn’t say no. I mean come on, this was my fantasy coming true. I told him I would be honored; he then took out his cell phone and let his security know.

As we pulled away down the street, I caught a glance at Philippe’s body, adjusting awkwardly in his seat until our knees were almost touching. Before I could say anything, Philippe jumped all over me, lips locked in a passionate embrace. Moans and whimpers echoed my ears as he sucked and bit on my lips before breaking our embrace. Looking into my eyes with an insatiable expression on his face, cheeks flushed red with lust, Philippe went right for my cock and pulled it out. His fingers caressed my hardening member, pulling on it as he kept breathing in through his teeth.

Seconds later, the sounds of the engine and the road were deaf to me as my ears focused intently upon the all too familiar slurping sounds of Philippe's mouth-work on my cock. For the next 10 minutes as we exited the interstate and entered the grounds of Castle of Laeken, Philippe was working over my cock as we finally pulled up in front of the private entrance. Eventually he came up for air and I tucked myself away for the walk up to the castle.

Soon we were in a dark, quiet hallway with His Majesty's hands on me, steering me into what I assumed was a secluded bedroom. I could only catch a quick glimpse of the large room and spacious bed before the lock clicked and I was pushing against Philippe, plunging my tongue into his mouth. He moaned, suddenly weak and desperate; this powerful man, King of the Belgians, moaning as I kissed him.

"Top or bottom?" I grinned as I pulled back from His Majesty.

“Bottom…” Replied Philippe breathless.

We began stripping his body, which was in great shape for a man his age and moved to the bed where Philippe laid on his back. I slid off his underwear and saw his white uncut cock for the first time. It was about 6 1/2 inches and not very thick but it was the perfect size to get in my mouth. I sucked on his cock for less than a minute before he shot his load in my mouth.

"Mathilde has never done that to me, it feels so incredible." He said as I continued to suck his cock until it was soft.

He rolled over onto his stomach, allowing me to have full access to his beautiful ass. I kissed him on each of his ass cheeks before I started to spread them. I slowly licked the outer rim of his asshole; I could feel his body quiver as my tongue slid over his hole. He began to moan and repeatedly say "That feels wonderful, don't stop."

While my tongue plunged deeper into his ass hole, I could feel his asshole relaxing; I moved my tongue away from him so that I could finger his ass. The ease at which three of my fingers went in was sure sign he was ready to be fucked. I mounted the Belgian king, aiming my stiff, precum drooling cock at his saliva soaked asshole. Slowly I pressed my cock into the soft silky warmth of his ass. I could hear him moan with pleasure as I slowly thrust my hips in and out of his ass.

Wanting this to last, I continued to fuck him slowly while I kissed him on his neck and sucked on his ear lobes. Smelling the sweet scent of Aramis cologne that he wore mixed with his sweat was intoxicating to me.

I pulled out of his ass and rolled him over on his back so that I could look him in the eye while fucking. I was surprised to see his once again stiff prick. I briefly sucked on the engorged purple head of his cock, before continuing to kiss up his stomach, through his silver chest hair until my lips found his nipples. I sucked and pinched both nipples giving Philippe pleasure that he has never experienced in his 25 yrs. of marriage. Our lips met again as I continued to feed my desire. Looking into his beautiful green eyes, I could see the lust that he shared for me.

I stopped and moved up between his legs. Looking down, I saw Philippe’s cock is still rock hard and throbbing, beads of pre-cum dribbling from the bell. I gave it a good tug, oozing pre-cum onto my hand and used it to lube my cock. Raising Philippe’s legs a little higher and positioned myself between them to have the best access to his hole.

“Mmm get ready, Your Majesty!” I grinned as I reinserted my throbbing cock deep inside Philippe’s eager and waiting hole.

My cock slid into his ass with ease as I started to fuck him again. And for the next 10 to 15 minutes, I ravaged his married ass the way he would have fucked his wife, missionary style. I was so horny that I started to pound my stiff prick harder and harder as I ran my hands all over that wonderful, hairy chest while my cock repeatedly drilled his ass. He was spreading his legs wide apart, giving me full access to his butt as my balls slapped against his bare ass with every thrust of my hips.

"Oh mon Dieu, c'est ça. Oh mon Dieu. Oh mon Dieu, tu es tellement grand. Ohhh putain.(Oh God that's it. Oh God. Oh God, you're so big. ohhh damn.)" Philippe said as he reached down to jerk himself off.

Looking down to see Philippe with his eyes closed moaning loud, begging me to fuck him harder. One hand on his left nipple, fingers, twisting and rubbing them. The other hand stroked faster and faster on his wet cock as my cock pistoned in and out of my ass. Seeing him biting at his bottom lip with sweat rolled down his forehead was all I could take. With no intention of pulling out my dick, I made one final, hard lunge into his ass.

"I'm cumming, I'm cumming!" I said as I released my hot juice spurting deep inside His Majesty's hole. My orgasm was so strong that I'm sure Philippe felt that he was being bred.

At the same time, Philippe couldn't hold back and pumps wave after wave of his own juices flying all over the both of us. I closed my eyes, still feeling the squirts of cum shooting over my body and face.

"Oh putain oui (Oh fuck yes)!" Philippe cried out as he pulled me close to him, kissing me passionately. Both of us were covered with each other’s cum and all hot and sweaty.

I couldn’t help but feel a sense of gratitude—toward the city, toward the unexpected encounter, and most of all, toward Philippe. In the brief conversation, I had felt seen, heard, and respected in a way I hadn’t experienced in a long time.

#philippe of belgium #Philippe King of the Belgians #fan fiction #king philippe #belgian royalty #royalty #king royal person

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weskie · 8 months ago

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hello weskie, you are so cool! here is something i can't stop thinking about! i hope you enjoy!

stars wesker saves someone and they look at him with big round innocent eyes and thank him profusely and he has no idea how to respond because it's giving him a crisis. he backs off really really awkwardly and nods them off and feels... bad for it. bad. he feels... bad.

what? is he going soft? no, of course not, so he shoves it down and continues like he's supposed to. easy. it's nearly automatic, anyways. slap on a smile.

but what was that, anyway?

he goes back to his office later, when the adrenaline has run off, and he is left with a strange empty feeling when he thinks about returning to the lab again under Umbrella and Spencer and Markus' direction. instead of the consuming pleasant numbness, there is a... some deep lack he hasn't felt in so long, since who knows when.

thinking about the last time he felt it makes his brain feel like it's buzzing, so he doesn't scoop it out from the repressed cage it's in.

not yet, anyway. not that there is ever a good time.

the more he thinks about the nice things civilians say to him, the way they look at him, the way they thank him... the feeling of pride he gets when he completes a mission and no life is lost. being thanked and praised and being someone's savior... it makes him feel warm. it makes him feel like he'd got an A on a test, when he'd microinject a cell and the new gene would be accepted...

it's warm, and it glows tiny and steady, and he feels like he's felt this before but he can't place it and he can't trust anyone with it and he must foster it lest it die and leave him feeling that strange emptiness again.

he is being weak, and yet in this weakness he feels like he finally gels and flows like salmon up a river with team alpha, even mingling properly with team bravo. it's beneficial, right?

but he submits some paperwork for umbrella and the crushing weight around him is suffocating, exhausting the flame. unity is strength. never question your authority. compassion is weakness...

compassion is weakness, right?

and then he saves a child.

and the child looks up at him in a defining moment that will never be erased from their psyche as long as they live, the image of the man who saved them a hero they will think of ten years later and wonder how he's doing.

and wesker is struck again with this feeling, but this time it's not just adrenaline pulling his strings loose.

he embraces it. the kid gives him a hug for saving them.

he returns to his office later and sits in his chair and takes his badge out. he stares at it, the expression behind his shades perplexed and confused... and let down... and ashamed, and immiserated by a sudden and intense feeling of emptiness and lack, like a teddy bear missing an eye; incomplete, the tiniest match of the flame of empathy flickering steadily in him because it crossed paths with the desire to succeed and a savior complex.

artificial.

it cannot last, it won't last. wesker has more important things to do; he is temporary. he should get up and cease this pointless–

but wesker sits there and he looks at the cold reflection in that badge. he looks at the lie of a man whose sole seed of truth is planted in the lifesaving actions he takes for others that umbrella would have no qualms killing for their goals.

umbrella would have no qualms killing him for their goals, either.

chris is thrumming on his guitar; wesker can hear the gentle pluck of chords, clumsy and fumbling, self-taught and learning on their own accord, not forced or coerced.

and for what feels like the very first time the thought has a genuine and concerning amount of feeling to it, wesker wonders what it would be like if he could run away from umbrella... if he could leave... what it would be like to learn what you want when you want to, eat what you want when you want to eat it, dream and fulfill yourself.

have a sense of self instead of a sense of cohesion within a hive that will die to serve.

ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

This is so tender and devastating all at once. The idea of Wesker slowly but surely falling into the realization that his life could be more, that there is more than what he was raised into at all of those boarding schools, that his immense talent can be used for good… but knowing defecting could and likely would cost him his livelihood if not his life altogether. I wonder if he ever thought about it. I imagine he would’ve at some point. Defection was already an idea in his head, clearly, when Umbrella operations started going tits up. But to do so to pursue a life in which he is a hero– a real hero, not just for subterfuge– is just *chef’s kiss*. I LOVE the idea of an AU where s.t.a.r.s. wesker was truly good, which might be heavy influence from that good wesker au fic i shared a while back, but i do think it would be so interesting to see. especially considering how it would change his relationships with the series' protagonists

#ask #nshtn #your brain is incredible for this #albert wesker #resident evil #i can almost guarantee this will be giving me brainworms somehow

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amelikos · 8 months ago

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A couple of things about the new episode in regards to Amethio's scene.

Amethio's facial expressions and his voice (looking and sounding extremely worn out and vulnerable). I thought that his VA did a good job at conveying how he felt. And it also felt significant that he allows himself to display such vulnerability around others, namely Zir and Conia. The way he sounds depending on who he talks to, etc. This is the first time he's sounded so vulnerable. Also, to me, he looked like he was just so exhausted in general... I wonder if he cried. I mean, the person he loves the most (his grandfather) told him he doesn't want to see him anymore and rejected him, when Amethio is devoting his everything to his dream.

Amethio's lines. Notably the "don't make me repeat myself" which possibly implies that he already explained his situation to Zir and Conia.. and that even though he explained, they stuck around because they genuinely want to stay around him to help. And that line also implies that they probably tried to talk to him before that. Which is a step forward for them because back in HZ026 (the first episode of chapter 2), they were distant and Zir said that "it was hard to talk to him (Amethio)". Which possibly meant that they were unsure on how to reach out and that they didn't try to communicate with him. So there was a wall between them (Amethio was alone with Soublades, Zir and Conia weren't next to him in HZ026), which they are now trying to break to get closer to him.

Also in terms of lines. Amethio thinking that Zir and Conia would only stuck around for a shot at promotion was sad. The fact he is aware of such things, and that he didn't consider that they'd want to stay with him because they care about him for who he is. It was clear that they always cared about him more than just for work purposes, but Amethio probably didn't see/consider it. I'm curious about their past tbh (when did they meet Amethio, etc..).

Also Amethio thanking them was sweet. His smile too (his first smile!). The fact he went from "what can I.. no what can we do" and openly asked for their help (he values teamwork and their help). The lines in the opening "even if you seem stuck, you'll be fine" definitely seem to apply to Amethio in this chapter. Amethio is stuck and he isn't sure what to do, and he wants to figure out what to do. And he asked others for help. So hopefully he'll be fine.. I'm not sure what he can do, though. And it still seems like he is going to figure out what he can do to help Gibeon? So, Zir and Conia are still helping him on the Explorers front. I'm curious about Amethio's direction for this chapter.. (Also, I need to point out that he is currently stuck like Liko was before when he met her in the mountain. He helped her out with his words, so now it's also time for him to reflect and consider his own words. Is he going to declare himself worthless and give up after hitting a stumbling block? This is probably the strongest test of Amethio's resolve so far.)

Also, Zir watching Gurumin's videos is still fun and he seemed interested and pointed out the fact that Kuwassu evolved. Potential upcoming Saidon evolution for Zir? Out of the trio (Amethio, Zir, Conia), he is the only one whose main Pokemon hasn't reached its final evolution stage. And Zir is someone who wants to get stronger to help and be able to stand by Amethio's side (he asked Gurumin for advice in terms of battles previously and actually followed it, such as when he taught Sandstorm to his Saidon in HZ025, etc). And in HZ027, he pondered on the word "'friend" when watching Gurumin's video about multi battles. How having friends you can rely on during battles is reassuring! (And also pointing out that after HZ027, the first person we saw Amethio team up with during battle was Friede in HZ045. The first person Amethio trusted enough to battle alongside with, and someone who could be a reassuring friend and ally to have during battles..!)

Anyway, it was also nice to finally hear Zir say the word "friend" because he clearly wanted to say it since HZ027. I think that moment of him watching the Gurumin video about friends was setting up Friede and Amethio's team up in HZ045, and also setting up the day Zir would finally refer to Amethio as "friend" (which he did now after 41 episodes). Gurumin's videos made him think about that. And the one who made Dot talk more openly about friendship and cherish that was Liko. A virtuous circle starting from Liko who reached out to Dot to become her friend, which then made Dot talk more about it in her Gurumin content which Zir watches. Which is now affecting Amethio positively because people are stepping up with the clear intent to support him in his time of need.

It's also neat that Amethio appreciates Zir and Conia's support for what it is. Because they aren't on par with him in terms of battling skills. He is stronger than them on that front (though they do bring him intel and help in other ways). So, it's also cool that even on Amethio's side, Zir and Conia don't need to be the strongest or whatever to be of value. Just them being there for him helps a lot already and he clearly appreciates that. He never gets angry at them either (he always thanks them for their work, even when they don't bring results, like in HZ024 when they couldn't find the castle's location, etc). He didn't blame them or lash out at them in this episode. He is appreciative and kind to them in general, so their loyalty is warranted. They aren't with him because they want a promotion, and Amethio doesn't need them to be "more" than what they currently are to consider them worthy.

Also, the thing about Amethio not having misplaced blame or lashing out at them is reassuring me a bit on the Amethio and Liko front. I wondered if Amethio would regret helping her, since it's what led to this current situation... but also, Amethio would have done the same thing over and over again even if he knew the consequences, since he is that kind of person. (And it's also why Spinel put him in such a situation. Because he knew exactly how Amethio would react, and that he isn't the kind of person to abandon someone in a dangerous situation.) And Amethio usually accepts his actions and whatever come with them.

And speaking of misplaced blame and stuff, I also want to point out that Amethio didn't react negatively to Friede after his loss in HZ025.. he accepted it and pushed forward. He just acknowledged his limitations and kept trying. And when he met Friede again in HZ045 (not counting HZ033 since they didn't interact there), there was no ill will between the two of them after their past confrontation (because there didn't need to be, they just fought for what they believed in). Friede naturally offered to team up, and Amethio followed his lead (being a bit bratty about it on the way there with his "don't give me orders!!", but it's funny and cute that he complains around Friede for the sake of it and still listens anyway because he knows Friede is right).

Anyway, this makes me curious about Amethio and Liko's next meeting and I wonder how they will react to each other after everything.

I think I covered most of what I wanted to write about in regards to Amethio's scene. It was short but good, and some sweetness still managed to shine through despite how crushed Amethio looked.. it made me appreciate Zir and Conia more too. I am not sure what Amethio will be doing going forward, but I hope things will be okay.

#hz068 #character notes #episode notes #zir #conia #amethio

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kryptid-writes · 2 years ago

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Chapter 2 - A Gift From the Devil

Y/n stirs to find herself in the grips of her captor, an unwanted gift forced upon her.

(1.8k)

TW: Emetophobia & Trypanophobia

I slowly regain consciousness, confusion and grogginess clouding my mind. My body feels like a pound of lead, heavy and exhausted. It’s a fight to open my eyes, a battle of wills. When I finally blink them open, I'm confronted by his devilishly handsome face, just inches away from mine. All the memories of the night before flood back like a tidal wave making me feel sick to my stomach.

“Good morning sunshine,” He coo’s, his voice sickly sweet. “I was wondering when you’d wake up, you've been out for far too long.”

I sit up at lightning speed, pushing myself back flush against the headboard of the unfamiliar bed I sit upon. I frantically glance around the room to gather my bearings. It’s all surprisingly nice, seemingly just a normal bedroom, if not a bit extravagant.

Shelves of musty old books with odd titles line the walls. Luscious red curtains hang from the large stained glass windows in which rays of light shine through, leaving glints of color across the dark wooden floor. A crystal chandelier gently sways above my head, reflecting the morning light in all different directions.

My hand grips the crimson silky sheets as I remember what’s happening. This isn’t some sick dream I'm going to wake up from. This is reality.

We sit in silence for a moment, the uneasy tension thick in the air.

He stares at my trembling form, not unlike a predator might look upon its prey. Just standing there with his arms crossed, watching.

“Who are you? Where am I!” I practically yell, unsure whether I should be angry or scared, perhaps a bit of both?

“Shhh. It’s okay, you’re safe here with me.” He gives a soft smile, trying to soothe my panic, only making the situation worse.

“This is my home. Well, for the time being that is. It’s your home now too.”

“You’re fucking sick! I’ve seen what you do, what you're capable of, you're the furthest thing from safety! And if you think I'm staying here, you’re out of your goddamn mind!” I glare at him with a stare that could turn him to stone.

His expression doesn’t change, clearly unphased by my outburst.

“Wow you’ve got quite the attitude missy. I like that in a woman.” He teases.

He furrows his brows. “You’re in shock, you'll come around,” He assures.

I’m not entirely sure if he’s talking to me or himself.

“You humans always were so sensitive” he scowls, his demeaning tone returns once again.

He kneels in front of me and places his hand over mine, my grip tightening on the silky sheets. His calloused fingers softly run over my soft hands in an attempt to diffuse my tension.

I pull my hand back with force, almost as if he had burned me, but in reality his skin was cold to the touch. “You didn't answer my question! Who are you?”

He chews on his cheek for a moment, clearly reluctant to share the information, preparing himself for how I will react.

“My name is Lucifer,” his voice is soft and he gives me a look that you might see on a lost puppy begging for scraps.

The air is knocked out of my lungs, like a punch to the gut. The devil. It can't be. My stomach twists, the feeling of nausea taking over. I push him aside and dash into the room attached to the bedroom that I currently reside in, practically kicking down the door. To my luck, it happened to be an empty master bathroom. Kneeling over the porcelain toilet, I empty my stomach with haste. The waves of nausea come and go, rocking through my body. I hang my head over the toilet bowl in defeat, my body going numb.

I jump at the feel of a hand touching my back, rubbing small circles between my shoulder blades. The skin where he touches me feels like soft electricity coursing through his body into mine, a feeling I've never experienced before. I should be scared, I should be shoving him away, but to my surprise I find his touch oddly comforting.

“It’s okay, my beloved. Let it out.” He sounds genuinely sincere.

It’s sickening. My stomach heaves one final time, emptying until there's nothing left to give. “Why are you doing this?” My voice shakes and lip quivers. A thousand emotions course through my body at once, it's utterly and completely exhausting. I slump on my side, sinking into the cool tile below me. The moment seems to last forever.

He kneels over me, a disappointed frown on his face. He loops his hands under my knees and neck, scooping me up in his arms as if I weigh nothing.

I hang limp in his grasp, giving in, tired of fighting my body. A lone tear runs down my cheek, leaving a cold wet sensation in its wake.

He gently places me on the bed. It feels soft and inviting. The silky blanket is pulled up over me, wrapping my body like a cocoon. I feel as if I'm floating, like TV static is playing in my head on loop.

“You’re exhausted, I can feel it. Sleep.” He says, more of a demand than a request.

I don’t think much of his words, too tired to process them and I reluctantly close my eyes.

The bed shifts and dips under me as he climbs in. He pulls me into his chest, snuggling in by my side and I don't fight. His warm body smells of herbs and ash.

That pleasant electric feeling returns, surging through my body, almost like it's drawing me in, it confuses and comforts me at the same time. I listen to his heart beating and his breathing becoming deeper, feeling the soft puffs of air in my hair. I close my eyes and drift off into a deep slumber.

------------------------------------------------------------

The dreams come tonight, but they're not scary and gruesome as they usually are. They feel warm and fuzzy, the kind of dream you wish you would never wake up from. There’s an overwhelming sense of compassion and affection surrounding me like a blanket.

I find myself standing in a beautiful garden, surrounded by blooming cherry blossoms whose sweet aroma fills the air. It’s dark out, the stars twinkling and the moon shining bright above it all. Fireflies surround the garden, their blinking lights bringing back pleasant memories from childhood of chasing them in the field and capturing them in jars to admire their beauty. \

And there he is, Lucifer, the man who lives in my dreams.

He’s dressed in a nice suit and tie, much different then the beat up clothes and scuffed jeans he usually wears. His hair is groomed nicely and his beautiful wings stand tall behind him. He presents me a bouquet of lucious roses, painted black and red, which happens to be my favorite colors.

For once he is not a gruesome murderer, having the time of his life slaughtering everything in front of him. There is no crazy stare and twisted smile, he is just a handsome man with beautiful white and golden wings showing me an unexpected kindness.

I sniff the flowers, the floral scent filling my senses, bringing a smile to my face.

He smiles warmly, inviting me into his arms and I accept. For the first time in a long time, my dream is pleasant and I'm in no rush to wake from it.

------------------------------------------------------------

I stir to a sharp poke in my lower back. Coming out of my sleepy haze, I feel the pressure of a needle enter the space between the lumbar vertebrae in my lower spine.

“Wha-” I was quickly interrupted by the excruciating pain of a burning hot substance entering my nervous system. I scream at the top of my lungs, it feels like every nerve in my body is on fire, the pain unbearable. “STOP! PLEASE!” I beg over and over again, sobs racking my body. I try my best to squirm away, willing myself to jump out of bed and run as far away from this nightmare as I possibly can, but I find myself being held down by some invisible force.

“Shhh, it’ll be over quickly, my love” Lucifer purrs in my ear, petting my hair and tucking a strand out of my face. He places the large syringe with remnants of a glowing white substance on the bedside table and takes my fisted hand in his. “The pain is only temporary, then you’ll feel so much better.”

My eyes go white and my body shakes violently. I’m dying. This is it. Meeting my end at the hands of the devil himself. I cry and sob until my puffy red eyes sting and are too dry to produce any more tears. The pain slowly starts to fade. I sink back to reality, a wave of anger and confusion washing over me. I sit up, forcing myself on top of him, raising my fist high above the both of us, shaking with anger and aftershocks of the pain.

He stares at me with wide eyes, a hint of hurt painted across his face.

I hesitate for a second before using all my force to strike him right on the nose, the grotesque crunch of bones breaking under my knuckles. Pain radiates through my hand from the impact, specks of blood painting my skin and the sheets below. It was nothing compared to what I had just experienced, so I simply couldn't bring myself to care.

He grabs my bloody fist and twists it behind my back. “I suppose I deserved that,” his voice is nonchalant as ever and it infuriates me. He taps his nose and it is instantly healed. His bones click back into their previous shape, early signs of bruising disappear. All that remains is a trickle of drying blood.

“WHY?” I scream in his face. “WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?” My chest heaves, breath coming in uneven and heavy. I shake with anger, feeling completely violated.

“All in due time my love.” His smile is sweet, as if he didn’t just put me through unforgivable pain.

I suppose this is what the devil does. Why would he care? Surely he takes pleasure in torturing me.

I raise my other fist, ready to strike down another blow with all my might. He grabs my hands, pinning both my wrists uncomfortably behind my back with one hand. “Don’t do that again.” He growls, this time much less forgiving.

I twist in his grasp, trying desperately to free myself.

“Sleep.” He touches two fingers to my forehead and I'm out like a light, folding into his chest. He wraps his arms around me, breathing in my scent and counting the rise and fall of my chest the whole night.

Series Masterlist

Full Masterlist

#dean winchester x reader #dean x reader #dean winchester #lucifer x reader #lucfier x reader supernatural #lucifer #lucifer supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #spn #supernatural #spn fic #slow burn #love triangle #choices #reader insert #supernatural reader insert #supernatural fanfic

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naathanuwu · 1 year ago

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Home sweet planetarium

(Rushed drawing by me)

Vox x masc!reader

Category: fluff

Word count: 504

Summary: You’ve been dating Vox for a few weeks. After getting cancelled on again you had enough and decided to bring the date over to Vox’s penthouse.

Warning: Light usage of cursing- it’s like one word, mentioned Valentino

The room was dark and chairs were set out perfectly to pull blankets over them. As you did just that, things were coming along. There was one more thing missing. Looking for a plug, you added the last perfect detail. A small star projector, making the interior of the blanket fort light up with stunning constellations.

To be honest you have had enough of Vox’s stressed and barely present attitude. If there was one thing you could do perfectly, it’s to prepare something nice and comforting. Something to ease the end of Vox’s long day. Soft cushions and blankets were layed out on the floor beneath the blanket roof.

(You were unsure if Vox had enough or even any comfortable bedding, so you brought your own stuff with you.)

Now adding the last few details you hear the elevator ding. Sudden excitement rises within you, wondering how your boyfriend would react. To be quite fair this is incredibly silly, but if Vox wanted something serious with you he had to deal with it.

“Uhh… what the fuck?” You could hear Vox’s voice echo through the room as he saw the odd fort. He couldn’t really make out why it was in his penthouse. All Vox could assume was that Valentino wanted to do something kinky.

You quickly crawled out of the tend and jumped up doing jazz hands. To Vox’s relief. “Surpriseeee~ I came over anyway- even tho you told me not to… yay?”

Vox just kinda stared at you and then back to the fort. He had no clue what this meant. Dating you has opened Vox to many things. One of them being silly and affectionate gestures for nothing materialistic in return. You caught onto that real quick walking up towards him.

“You’ve been working your ass off the entire week and I kinda missed you. I didn’t want to force you to do something that might exhaust you even more, so I thought why not make your home extra cozy?” You gently tucked your hand around his arm, pulling him with you towards the blanket fort. It did look ugly from the outside, you had to admit that.

Once Vox saw the interior of the blanket fort his heart melted a little. “Wow… this doesn’t look as shit as I expected.” He followed you into the tent, his gaze fixated on the stars. It was pretty odd to see something like that, especially coming from an adult.

“I know, I should’ve done this in your aquarium or something. How thoughtless of me…” You sigh out dramatically, dropping your chin onto his shoulder. The dramatic action more of a request of gratitude than genuine critique towards yourself.

Vox placed his clawed hand on your shoulder and lied back, pulling you down with him. The projected stars slowly and smoothly moving, earning Vox’s full visual attention. “This is quite nice actually… you shouldn’t have done something like that, you know?”

“Yeah, but I wanted to. Building blanket forts was one of my favourite things to do as a kid.” You shrug snuggling up to Vox.

A direct thank you would be too much to ask for, but his actions reflect his gratitude. You asked Vox about his childhood and that conversation turned into trauma bonding. Time seems to stop as Vox and you were just trapped in the (fake) starlight, eventually passing out into sleep.

A/n: Hello my beloved Vox simps and fanfic enjoyers! I hope you have enjoyed reading my sweet short fanfiction. I know that in the pole from yesterday smutt won, but I already finished this fluff fic yesterday and worked on the title drawing for it as well.

I’ll get working on the smutt fic next though! It might take a little longer cause I’m a little shy about it hehehe

Ps: Can we appreciate the little separators I made? It’s tiny Vox sending smooches :’)

#I FORGOT ABOUT THE TAGS #vox x reader #hazbin hotel #vox x oc #hazbin hotel oc #hazbin hotel vox #vox #gay shit #fluff #vox fanfiction #silly #adorable #blanket fort

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toldbytendo · 6 months ago

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𝐼𝑛𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑠𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑦 𝑖𝑠 𝑙𝑜𝑢𝑑.

Let me tell you something about inconsistency: it’s loud. It doesn’t matter how sweet his words are when he’s trying to keep you hooked, or how charming he is when he’s in the mood to entertain you. If his actions don’t match up, the inconsistency screams louder than anything he could ever say.

And babes, it’s confusing as hell. One minute, he’s all in—texting, calling, giving you attention—and the next, he’s distant, nonchalant, acting like you imagined the whole vibe. It’s like you’re stuck in this emotional limbo, trying to figure out if he’s genuinely into you or just enjoying the convenience of having you around.

Let me use my own little situation as a case study. There’s this guy—let’s call him 𝑀𝑟. 𝐶𝛰𝐷 𝑀𝑜𝑏𝑖𝑙𝑒 (you know the one). He’s nice, yeah, but let’s be real, it’s all very surface level. One day, he’s throwing compliments and banter, making me laugh like I’m the main character in his world. And the next? Crickets. Or worse, the barest hint of effort, like a breadcrumb trail I’m supposed to be grateful for.

I won’t lie to you—it’s been messing with my head too. 𝑀𝑟. 𝐶𝛰𝐷 𝑀𝑜𝑏𝑖𝑙𝑒 (we love a nickname) has truly been a case study in confusion.

We started talking not long ago, and for a moment, it felt good—like maybe this was something that could actually grow into more. He admitted he liked me, said all the right things, but before I could even settle into that feeling, it all started shifting. And now? It’s like I’m left trying to figure out what I could’ve possibly done to cause this shift when we’ve barely even started.

And that’s what makes situationships like this so debilitating—they start fast and furious, like the beginning of a rom-com, but before you can even catch your breath, you’re left wondering what went wrong. The confusion feels magnified because everything happened so quickly, and the fall-off feels both sudden and humiliating. At what point, in these brief interactions, did it fall apart? Why admit you like me only to act like this?

And let’s not even talk about the shame. Whew, the shame. You start to feel embarrassed—not just by his behaviour but by your own feelings. How could I let myself catch feelings for this? For someone so inconsistent? For someone who couldn’t even bother to nurture what we had started? You begin questioning your judgment, replaying every interaction in your mind, wondering if you somehow misread everything. Spoiler alert: you didn’t.

Because here’s the thing: his failure to pursue you the way you deserve isn’t a reflection of your worth. It’s a reflection of his inability to meet you at your level. It’s not about you being “too much” or “too demanding.” If anything, it’s about him being not enough—and I mean that in every sense of the word.

Men like this are quick to cater to your physical needs, but when it comes to the emotional work? They ghost, breadcrumb, or worse, keep you in this limbo where you’re left questioning everything. They’re good at keeping you on a leash, just enough to keep you interested, but not enough to give you what you deserve. And honestly? That’s manipulative. That’s cruel.

So let me tell you what I’m reminding myself: the right man won’t leave you questioning. He won’t leave you doubting your worth or replaying every text in your head. He’ll show up—not just in the beginning, but consistently, because he knows the only way to truly know if you’re his person is to take the time to understand you, to nurture your emotional needs, to make you feel safe. He won’t punish you with silence. He won’t make you feel like you’re asking for too much. He’ll match your energy, meet you halfway, and then some.

And if he can’t? That’s not your problem to fix. Protect your peace. Block him if you need to. Mourn what could’ve been, but don’t waste another second chasing someone who couldn’t bother to choose you properly.

I’m learning that these situationships, as irritating and exhausting as they are, are also lessons. They teach you about your boundaries, your worth, and what you absolutely will not tolerate. They show you the kind of love and partnership you don’t want, which makes the kind you do want so much clearer.

To my girlies who are in the trenches right now, I see you. I feel you. And I’m here to tell you this: something that is meant for you will never make you question your value. It will never leave you chasing crumbs or doubting yourself. You are worth so much more than inconsistency. Don’t ever let someone make you feel otherwise.

To the girlies who are still here, let’s talk about decentering men. Honestly, I count myself very fortunate because, as much as I am a wholehearted, heart-on-my-sleeve, hand-on-the-Bible lover girl, 𝑀𝑟. 𝐶𝛰𝐷 𝑀𝑜𝑏𝑖𝑙𝑒 came along at the perfect time. Crazy, right? The woman I was a year ago would have been sat in her room, headphones in, sad girl playlist on repeat, dissecting every moment and wondering what she’d done wrong. But the woman I am now? She knows better. She has grown, she has confidence, she has pride—and, most importantly, she respects herself far too much to let a man like that have her bent out of shape.

And the key to that?

Decentering men. Men are not, and should not be, the centre of my universe. They’re just not worth it.

Yes, I still hope and pray that one day I’ll have my white picket fence, my loving and supportive man who treasures me and lets me love him just as much and just as loudly. But until that day comes, I’ve fully shifted the energy I used to pour into romantic relationships and redirected it into myself. And chai, it has been the most surreal and healing part of my journey so far.

So, if you take nothing else from this—and honestly, it would be rude to ignore my brilliant advice and case study, but let’s say you do—take this: as women, especially in the context of dating, relationships, and marriage, we’re conditioned to believe that self-sacrifice is inherent to love. That it’s nurturing and feminine to put his needs, his goals, his feelings above our own. But let me ask you this—do you honestly think that man would sacrifice even a fraction as much as you’ve sacrificed for him?

I mean any aspect. Would he sacrifice his precious gameplay, his nights with the boys, his “money moves” for you the way you’ve sacrificed your time for him? And babes, let’s not forget—time is the most valuable thing you have. It’s finite. It’s irreplaceable. And it’s time you could be using to build yourself into a version of you that you never thought possible.

So, decentre them. Reclaim your time, your energy, your peace. Stop sacrificing your growth for a man who wouldn’t even set down his controller for you. It’s not worth it. And once you start pouring that love and effort into yourself instead? Whew, you’ll see exactly why it never was.

#toxic relationship #love #selflove #motivation #blackwomanhood #blackwomanhoodtoldbytendo #peace #dating #dating in 2024 #emotions #relationship #talking #talking stage #black men #men are trash #decentering men

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thesecrethistori-an · 6 months ago

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Omg hii I saw you answering a bunch of peoples uni questions and you were so nice at answering- so here's mine too!!

How do you improve your social life in college, in just socially anxious and like I know all the generic advice but it's still tough

Like I have friends but it isn't like glamorised fun you know, we hang out- I like them but it's not "crazy" like I don't go to parties with them, or go out with anyone that often? Like is that weird? I feel like I want to change that but I don't know how to?

Hii!! Thanks for your question!! I love this because it has really forced me to think about how I relate to others and how I've struggled to find my people

It's genuinely hard to socialise in a way that isn't just checking the boxes but that actually is fulfilling. It took me years and it was sometimes exhausting (ironically the pandemic helped me solidify my friend group)(then I moved to a different country and distanced myself a lot from my Spanish friends, which is something I haven't fully resolved yet).

I'll just throw in some ideas:

You genuinely need to be interesting: do not fake a personality but reflect about your offline identity. You befriend people that you find cool/funny/intelligent. People that can hold a conversation. You cannot expect your friends to be just an entertainment. Friendship is exchange ;)

If there are student clubs in your uni, join one. It doesn't need to be the thing that interests you the most, it could be something you're curious about. There, if people hang out after their meetings... Join! And if they don't? Honestly, choose two of your favourite people, propose a fun hangout that is simple (board games bar if you like that, drinks, coffee, visiting a museum) and pitch it to the rest of the group. Chances are everyone is looking for an excuse to socialise!

You can try different clubs: first year I joined a feminist association, a photography club and an mun club... I ended up only staying in the mun club and some of my best friends rn (even after I moved out of the country) I met there!

Related to this: it is irrelevant how cringe your classmates/other people/friends from outside think a club is. It's not the point, the point is having fun! I know mun is extremely cringe and I couldn't care less... I learned so much thanks to it and I met so many wonderful people (and a bunch of assholes ofc)

If there are no student clubs: test the waters. When I moved from Spain to Czech rep I was super frustrated because the student life dle internationals was very poor, especially if you didn't want the usual Erasmus activities (nothing wrong with them, but I was looking for stable connections, not just friends that will leave in 6 months). Then a weird "club" opened applications and I just applied... And got selected! Basically it wasn't even a club yet, just a group of 3 girls who were in the same situation and had the brilliant idea of creating a student club fulfilling what they felt was missing! It is now a huge success and our activities really have improved the experience of other international students. Sometimes it's about taking action;)

It takes a lot of alone time to find your people. I made "friends", similarly to you, when I first moved here and 6 months in it was obvious we were not really tight. It's okay, some friends are for grabbing a coffee and that is also important, but we all crave real connection. The more people you meet, the more you force yourself to approach people, propose plans, invite them for a coffee, for a study session, for a new activity, the easier it will be to find a group you like!

Don't indulge in loneliness for too long. My friends here took months to invite me to join their group chat because they just thought I genuinely was okay with meeting them very casually (they thought because I was pretty chill I must have a real friend group elsewhere — I didn't and if I'd been less shy I'd been surrounded by this wonderful group months earlier).

Don't limit yourself to people from your degree, even from your uni. I love "mixed" student clubs because they allow you to meet the wonderful people that study around you and who you would never meet otherwise!

Be politically active: I believe this is something all of us should do. The current political climate calls for action and joining social movements will help you be part of a bigger community of people that share your values. Test the waters before you fully join (I didn't stay in the first feminist group I joined because a few meetings in I started to see red flags)

Conclusion: it's very hard and takes time and effort but there's always hope. Start small and be at peace with temporary loneliness. It gets better 🩷

#my asks #answered #advice #uni advice #friendship

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yuseirra · 8 months ago

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I'm drawing a comic~ for the meantime...this manga honestly made me so frustrated and pissed earlier, I just ranted on and I found it so funny to read. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do, here's how I feel about it rn!!

oh, this is such a perfect time to take a break from it though, i constantly feel so nervous about creating something for it because things escalate fast and I need to make good sense of it and reflect it into my works EVERY week. I am nuts for staying accurate to the source material (it may not seem like it but I'm really a perfectionist and I wish to do a good job getting the characters right) This work has a knack for making me feel extremely tense. It's been that way for the past three months I've hopped in, it's nice and enjoyable to have something to be invested on but sometimes it gets too much.. people are growing insane and pointing knives at each other, our protagonist stabbed himself and fell into the waters. The fact that I think it was an utterly foolish decision for him to have been that way does not help. I do not support what he's done. It does make a pretty impressive scene considering it's a manga and the art looks good, I think they planned that scene to be there from the beginning too but Sigh

I think he directed his anger to the wrong guy. I am not convinced that was the right choice he's made so I hate the look of it. Way to feel this way about the main character huh,

I can't draw.. when things make me this nervous, what else is going to unfold? I feel like I can see the big picture for the whole thing, but there is no way I can predict all the little details and what if things get super ugly, even uglier than how it is now?? I can't possibly work with that, it's just so hard!; Mengo-san Aka-san, what did I do to deserve this?? I came in because I thought I understood what this is!!! I have a good idea of how things are going to go!!! Why do you have to make everything SO MESSY?? It's frustrating. I AM collecting the physical volumes you know? I WANT TO TILL THE END?? please don't make me regret it, You seriously AREN'T going to make the one guy Ai confessed her love to a total freak. You know that and I know it too. It's just out there and set in stone, goodness. This isn't funny. This is so pointless. It wears me out ugghhh it's not about the ship I mean, it's about the message!!! the plot!!!!!! I really don't like how this manga makes things way more complex than what it actually is. It doesn't have to be that way.

Heheh. I ranted again- the stuff below's what I wrote earlier. Honorable mention to chatgpt for helping me translate it.. this is just. I just want things to get resolved. It's getting so dumb.

***

Kamiki is drowning and getting dragged away, Aqua stabs himself, then floats on the water with a melancholy expression on his face… and then there's a break for two weeks or so, right? Ugh, seriously.

But honestly, even in this weirdly ended situation, I’m actually glad there’s a break. If there wasn’t, I wouldn’t be able to write things like this. I get too nervous to write because I really hate making mistakes. I genuinely don’t like it. Normally, I wouldn’t enjoy talking about uncertain situations like this…

But what can I do when I see things?;;; If I didn’t understand anything at all, I wouldn’t be able to write something like this, and if I didn’t have enough time, I wouldn’t have time to think about it, so I wouldn’t be able to write then either. But now that I do understand, it’s just… so frustrating, suffocating, nerve-wracking, and I feel all fidgety because of it.

Honestly, this manga should just release one chapter and then take a break. Release one chapter and then take a break. It would be nice to have about a week to think about it with a clear mind. It’s so exhausting, really. I feel like I know where this is all headed in the end, but the creators have been dragging things out so slowly. Even with the Aqukana storyline, I got so tired with how they handled it that I took a break from reading it last year…

The story hands you the key. It even clearly shows you the door that the key can open. But then it puts up dozens of other doors next to it, meaningless ones. Even after giving you all the answers, it tries to confuse you. But you can see right through it. And while doing that, it points to each door saying, 'Isn't this door pretty~~~ How about that one?' constantly taunting you along. All while it's them that's given you the key already in the first place.

It’s really frustrating… I’m so tired. If I couldn’t see anything, I’d just watch while grumbling or be like, 'Oh…' and keep my distance without overthinking it. But it’s suffocating and frustrating not knowing why they’re doing such pointless things, and it makes me anxious too…

Well… I could just take a break, but… I really like Ai. And when I look at the man she loved, I feel like he could actually be a really good character too, so I watch carefully… There’s a lot to dig into. It would be nice to shift the focus onto the other characters, too, but…

Seriously, nothing’s been properly resolved, has it? They’ve been dragging it out for ages. The characters keep doing crazy things. You can’t end a story like this. It’s just… they're not writing well, but they’re doing it on purpose. This manga is like that; the creators enjoy twisting things, and I should just enjoy that too, but I don't think I do. I just want to use the key and go through the door; I’m not interested in looking at the various door knobs. I wish they’d just stop now. I feel like I know what’s going on. That’s why I’m here to draw fan art. I get so up and down every week, but if the outcome isn’t what I’m thinking, I have no idea what it could be, and I don’t think it would make for a good story at all. I’m not saying it has to go the way I want for it to be a good story! It’s just… if it doesn’t, it feels like the message will completely collapse. It’s not about the couple… Even if the characters die, as long as the story is good, that’s fine, but the framework has to hold up!

About Kamiki's state,

his trauma and the dire-ness of his mentality is probably even more serious than Aqua’s, right? And I actually got that right too.

They said they only felt alive when they were with Ai. That means, in essence, they’re as good as dead now. But if they still want to keep living in that state, it means there was something they believed they had to do.

That’s likely related to the wishes mentioned in Mephisto and Fatal.

‘I want to see you. I want your life to return.’ (Mephisto)

‘I want to get closer to you. I want to receive your love again.’ (Fatal)

'For that, I can do anything. I can even offer my life. I can sacrifice anything. What more do I need to use?' <(Common themes in both songs)

In short, it’s all about 'I want to see you.'"

The "you" here refers to Ai.

That’s what it is.

Well… when you think about it, what Kamiki is doing now is essentially that. His underlying wish was that, but the way he’s going about it has become completely twisted. I don’t think he developed this kind of logic on his own. He’s been influenced or possessed by something. Because he was never someone who could hurt others.

This character didn't harm Ai… I truly believe he wouldn't have hurt her. Everything he’s doing now, in his own way, is probably for Ai. It’s just that he’s gone mad.

And thus, you can infer he's in such a serious condition, yet it hasn’t been highlighted at all.

They made his past so tragic and horrifying (I try to thoroughly analyze the character's psychological state; as I mentioned before, I try to sync up with their emotions…), and yet, with this character, there are parts I just can’t dive into because it’s too overwhelming. It’s plainly obvious. He’s not in his right mind right now. He’s too depressed and tormented to be alive.

Think about it, he’s been through extremely serious things since he was at least ten years old, maybe even younger… Just thinking about it makes me… I once considered exploring this, incorporating to my works, but I simply couldn’t. I really couldn’t… it’s too horrifying!

If the author had written him in a way where he turned into a serial killer because he developed a hatred for women or something like that, I wouldn’t have been able to forgive it. Even though I haven’t experienced such things, I feel I know enough of it to say that would be too shallow, convenient, and disrespectful. That’s really not how you handle such material. It’s beyond lazy—it's irresponsible. But I didn’t think it would go that way.

Whether this character ends up being revealed as the ultimate villain or not, if they’ve created a character like this and don’t address it properly, it’s not respectful to the character. It’s too much…

But I believe that the creators have a certain affection for what they’ve created, so I trust they’ll handle it. I just… want to see it handled properly. I think the delay is because they couldn’t fully express it while the anime was airing. They keep taking breaks and adjusting their pace; part of it might be due to the creators’ conditions, but I think they might have deliberately delayed introducing new content to match the anime’s schedule.

Honestly, I got into this because I knew. I realized, "Ah, this is what this character is going through."

He really liked Ai. It was set up in a way that he had no other choice but to become that way.

Other characters have their own core identity, right? Even if you strip away all their relationships with other characters, they have something of their own.

But when you look at this character, from the planning stage, everything was set to align with Ai, and without Ai, the character itself wouldn’t exist…;; He just collapses. Like in the lyrics, "I can’t live without Ai." The only consolation is that Ai truly did love him back… It’s like, the creators made this character specifically as a match for Ai, you know?

When you create a character like that, it’s only right to handle it in a way that makes that visible.

About his relationship with Ai… it’s not like I just think they look good together or something… It’s more like, when you look at the story and the way the characters are built, it’s obvious that they were made that way!!!

But even in the current situation and how ugly it is, there's one reason I think Ai made a good choice in picking him as her husband. She picked a extremely handsome guy and passed down superior looks to their kids haha. When you look at him, it doesn't make it seem like Ai is way out of his league in terms of looks, does it? She met someone who matched her well and dated him, that’s how it feels. I’m pretty sure they’re really gods, you know? They’re like the god of entertainment and the god of light. Their story is just too similar… they resemble each other so much… If you look at mythology, Ame-no-Uzume’s husband just fell for her at first sight, got swept along, married her, and they even shared a shrine, living happily together… Ame-no-Uzume just barged into his domain, made herself at home, and they got together right away. That god really married well. He ruled over not just one or two domains, but was a supreme indigenous deity and was considered just and noble… It’s like, “Oh, I like this one,” and she picked him like that. And judging by the drawings, Ame-no-Uzume was really beautiful… She was incredibly cute… I was so happy looking at that mythology. They bless the couple’s fate and marriage because they’re satisfied and happy with each other. People even make masks of the two gods and wear them together during festivals.

Look, if I’m a romance writer and I want to write something related to the entertainment industry, and I borrow mythology, and I know this couple's mythology? And then I write a story like this? Well… from my perspective, Kamiki is a mad god who went crazy after losing his wife. He genuinely loved Ai. Look at his expression in chapter 162. It’s the same as in chapter 153. He loved her that much, and on top of that, she was his savior, his lover, and even the mother of his child, raising them risking everything she's got. He believes she died because of his mistake—so what would he do? He might have thought about following her in death but couldn’t, so he thought, "If I do something, maybe Ai will come back." And when that didn’t work, he just ended up desperately wanting to see Ai again… I think that’s what drove him mad. I don’t think he’s in his right mind. He’s totally lost it. I mean, who could stay sane after losing someone like that for over a decade?

It’s not like the readers should have to guess why he’s fallen apart like this, right? It’s time for the story to show us. I’m really struggling with this—making deductions, writing, drawing—and every time a new chapter is released, people come to me, feeling sad or offering comfort. Seriously, I’m fine! isn’t it? Aren’t the creators romance writers? How could they not cover this? It’s not just about the couple—this is such rich material, and not using it would be a waste, don’t you think? And it doesn’t make sense… Why would they write it so that Ai loved someone truly strange? It’s not like that. Ugh, seriously.

As I always say, it’s not my work, so I could be completely wrong.

Still… it just feels like such a waste. Not using this? Not doing this?

I think all the clues are there… They’re doing this on purpose. Just wait and see. I’m not called the Prophet-type for nothing (INFJ)? When it comes to things like this, my intuition isn’t that bad. There are a lot of things I’ve figured out as soon as I saw them.

What’s frustrating about this manga is that if the plot progression itself is confusing, that’s fine as a mystery element.

But here, they give you all the answers, then pretend they haven’t, dragging things out while playing dumb. That really makes me go, “What are they doing?” It’s like they show all the answers and then, without reason, go off on a tangent. It’s like entering the destination into a navigation system, knowing where you’re supposed to go, but steering the car in the opposite direction for three hours.

Then, they turn around like nothing happened and head towards the destination. It’s pointless. If you don’t know the destination from the start, there’s a thrill as you go. But this just looks like foolishness. It’s like, eventually, it’ll come to this conclusion, but the story gives you the answer upfront and then insists, "Actually, no~" and lies about it. I don’t think it’s a very good method. It’s tiring…

Maybe it works in a volume format, but reading it as it’s released makes you wonder, "What’s even going on here?"

Haha, I came into this with confidence. At this point, there’s quite a bit that’s built up.

When I think about it, I’ve gotten all the critical parts right. Look at the expressions Kamiki makes when he looks at Ai. Does he look like someone who would order Ryosuke to kill Ai just because she rejected him?

This guy just can’t come to his senses after Ai’s death. He’s been doing everything he could just to see Ai again.

And if you’re still confused, the answer is always in Ai’s video message.

Would Ai, of all people, say she wanted to live forever with someone who ordered her death? That’s not how you write that story. The answer was already there, so I don’t know what this manga is doing.

That's why I'm not worried about Aqua right now! I'm mad! LOL. Hey, your dad definitely loved your mom more than anyone else in the entire world. He loved her more than his own life. Well, maybe you put Ruby first… But seriously, is he really so crazy that he tried to kill Ruby just to save Ai?!

But if that's the case, then it means he's not in his right mind, so he needs an exorcism…;;

How could Aqua not understand what kind of person his dad is, even after playing him as his role? Why can't he get a sense of it? Why didn't he listen, and instead tried to drown him in the ocean? Why did he do that? Is he really that evil? Am I missing something? Why are you like this? I can’t sympathize with it—was that really the only way? It doesn’t look that way to me. This is like a parade of fools, seriously. Did I completely miss the mark? Am I really wrong? Did I get everything wrong, and did I fail to see it properly? Then why does Ai’s video message say what it does?

Aqua, please get a grip. And Kamiki is out of his mind. He needs to go to a hospital. Seriously. What is all this?

That's all.

#oshi no ko #oshi no ko spoilers #oshi no theories #long post #omygod... I've been pulling really really strong thus far though #I CAN THINK OF A LOT OF THINGS... but with the manga being this way #it's just tough...I am so nervous #hikaai #hikaru kamiki #I'd like to draw more but maybe it's inevitable I take a break you see #spoilers #what is this comic UUGHH

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