#this was funnier to me than it should have been

[tokiro07]

Ichi the Witch ch.11 thoughts

[WitchCon 2024]

(Topics: praise - comedy, narrative progression, world building, thematic analysis - freedom vs. order, predictions)

Make 'Em Laugh

Y'know, for a chapter that was like...90% political dialogue and exposition, this still managed to end up being one of the funnier chapters so far: Desscaras' report being a comic book that makes her look like the hero and Shirabedonna just throwing it away, Ichi straight up leaving the Zoom call to get food, Togeice goofing up her dramatic entrance; and that's not even every funny bit from this chapter

Handled wrong, this could have come off as a super dry and meandering chapter, but for the sake of setting up the conflict of revealing Ichi's existence to the world, I think an in-depth analysis of both sides of the argument was necessary

Better to Ask Permission than Forgiveness

While I agree with Togeice that Shirabedonna's conclusions are being made on too few datapoints (one grateful village and three unusually quick hunts in only two weeks), I'm also inclined to agree with Shirabedonna that this is a tricky situation to maintain

The longer Mantinel tries to hide Ichi, the more contradictions and public distrust are bound to pile up. Coming up with excuses later to explain every little detail will just make discussing it more difficult, and Mantinel will only look more suspicious. On the other hand, coming clean now less than a month in should be fairly understandable given the implications of Ichi being a male Witch that acquired Uroro - some people will be mad, sure, but most people would probably be forgiving of the caution exercised

More than that, though, Mantinel's acquisition of the first male Witch would do wonders for their reputation, as that's a historic discovery. Even if he ends up being dangerous, the narrative wouldn't be too hard to spin in Mantinel's favor, as no one could have predicted how a male Witch would behave

The fun thing about this argument to me, though, is the acknowledgment of other Witch organizations

Frog in the Well

We haven't been shown a world map or anything yet, so we don't really have any sense of scale to this world, but I wouldn't have been too surprised either way if either Mantinel had a monopoly on Witch administration or if they were just one of many such organizations

The acknowledgment of an equivalent of Japan last week was a good clue that there was more to this world than...whatever this one country is called, but we still know nothing about this fantasy-Japan's society other than that they still have sashimi

Do they have their own Witches Association? Do they even have Magiks there in the first place, or are they endemic to the current focus country?

Black Clover kept expanding to reveal that other nations had different relationships with magic, while JJK revealed that Curses pretty much only exist in Japan for...some reason. I would imagine that this is more like the former, but the realization that one nation is hoarding the concept of magic would be pretty wild, wouldn't it?

Then there's the fact that ch.1 told us that there's only a 0.001% chance of a man being able to acquire magic even if he did have the capacity to pass a trial and physically handle casting spells. That seems like a low number, but...it's one in a thousand

For every thousand men, one of them has the capacity to acquire magic. Presumably this number is compounded by the ability to use it, since the narration said there were so many other factors that had to line up perfectly first, but that just means that the chances of finding another man with the potential to overcome those factors aren't actually all that slim

EDIT: It's been brought to my attention that I goofed the math and this is one in a hundred thousand, but my point stands! I thought it was going to be like one in a million or even a billion, and it ended up being a lot more generous than I anticipated! In our world, that would still be 40,000 men with the capacity for magic!

In other words, it's only a matter of time until another male Witch is found

From there, the method for cultivating male Witches will likely start to become more widespread, and eventually the proportion of female to male Witches should approach an equilibrium

That's probably looking too far ahead, though. That's the kind of thing that would probably take several generations to pass, so while we may have like...a dozen male Witches by the end, they probably won't be a normal part of Witch society until a far-flung epilogue

For now, I'd like to focus on the worldbuilding that we actually received this chapter: that Ichi's acquisition rate is ridiculous

Gotta Go Fast

Ichi has three Magiks under his belt in less than two weeks, and Shirabedonna tells us that one week is on the fast end for a hunt. That seems especially strange to me, since one of the first trials we're ever told of was only set for an hour, but I suppose that figure is based on the number of attempts and the prep-time? It's easy to assume "oh, they got it one," but this statement gives the impression that almost no one acquires a Magik on their first try

I do think it kind of skews our perceptions to tell us the upper and lower limits of one week and ten years without also giving us an average or at least a mean. All she says is "some take X amount of time," like that means anything statistically...

It also doesn't help that the first hunt we actually saw would have been over almost immediately had it not been for the circumstances: Desscaras immediately stabbed Uroro's heart, and only failed to pierce it because she was a woman. Now, Desscaras is likely an outlier herself because she's ostensibly the strongest living Witch, but sub-10 minutes is nowhere near a full week!

Again, it's entirely possible that the hunt for Uroro was on a constant timer since Mantinel first started trying, so that would be an extreme circumstance no matter what. I suppose in a sense that would mean Ichi has the record for clearing both the shortest and longest hunts?

But just being fast or lucky doesn't make Ichi an expert, and it's only a matter of time until he hits a wall where his unique perspective fails to compensate for his lack of experience in the field he's so suddenly found himself in

Rising to the Level of Your Incompetence

Togeice is being presented as morally incorrect here, with her talk of reforming Ichi into a "proper Witch" being accompanied by a vision of all of Ichi's best qualities being sanded down to a bland scholarly appearance, but that doesn't mean that she doesn't have a point

Ichi's lack of experience makes him something akin to an outsider artist, which is what allows him to discover unconventional methods within the field, but it also means that he's not familiar with the pitfalls of the profession. Ichi took Hisame's challenge in a different direction than what was intended by the rules; it worked out, but if Hisame hadn't been impressed with this loophole, then that gamble would've gotten everyone present killed. Since she expressed that she wanted to attack another village as a palette cleanser, it's entirely possible that she could have taken this approach as an insult and gone on an even worse rampage after the fact

In fact, Ichi going straight for attacking Hisame could have resulted in her not even bothering to issue her trial, which would have effectively made her invincible in the resulting combat encounter. Perhaps Magiks don't work that way and they have to share their trial in order to maintain their power, but there's no precedent for that yet, so Ichi's ignorant and rash behavior could have sabotaged the entire mission

There's also the possibility that Ichi will continue to acquire stronger and stronger spells that he's less and less equipped to control and will cause some kind of huge disaster. He already used Parthion to create an entire new ecosystem on Druid Mountain, which could well have untold consequences on the local wildlife and nearby settlements, so what's to stop him from naively trying to save a desert village with Poltata and just washing them all away?

Togeice's desire to force her vision of order onto Ichi is obviously wrong and potentially detrimental to Ichi's value, but she is right that he's not capable of wielding his powers effectively or responsibly. Even if Ichi is a perfectly moral and upstanding Witch, if his trump card will only result in him being rendered unconscious for three days, then he's only going to be a liability when the time comes to use it against a major threat

The goal then should be to cultivate Ichi's sense of freedom and experience using magic while also giving him a clear sense of the responsibility that he carries. Fortunately, he's already demonstrated the capacity for that with his strict adherence to Death for Death, but unless he can prove to Togeice that he already has the discipline she's looking for, she won't be able to trust such an unknown with her back

Fortunately, the upcoming challenge provides the perfect opportunity for Togeice to get to know Ichi

Just a Little Guy

It was pointed out to me by @wickedsick that because the mushroom Magik isn't a human-hater, it likely doesn't hold any ill intent towards humans and doesn't go out of his way to hurt them, and therefore shouldn't trigger Death for Death. This would likely prevent Ichi from harming it, and in turn give Togeice the opportunity to take the win

The way I see it, there's five ways that this could go

Ichi loses because the mushroom isn't hurting anyone and he can't bring himself to hunt it -> school arc, Ichi learns valuable lessons, though he doesn't fundamentally change the way that Togeice wants him to

Ichi is just hopelessly outclassed and decides he has plenty to learn from Togeice and Mantinel -> same outcome as above

The circumstances of Ichi's refusal to hunt the mushroom somehow prove to Togeice that he's already plenty disciplined -> she wins, but still lets him go free because she doesn't believe she has anything to teach him after all

The nature of the trial doesn't necessitate Death for Death, and Ichi wins solely through his specific skillset -> Togeice realizes that she was not equipped for this specific scenario and different approaches will always be necessary for different circumstances, so she drops her objection

Togeice accidentally goads the mushroom into triggering Death for Death and realizes that it was her irresponsibility that endangered people, not Ichi's -> same outcome as above

For sure, there are more nuanced outcomes available, but those seem like the most likely either for developing the themes of the story or driving the plot in a specific direction. I'm definitely open to whichever route Nishi chooses to take, as I think that the two broadest outcomes of Ichi going or not going to school both provide interesting opportunities for the story going forward. Whichever she chooses, I have faith in Nishi that it'll be a fun time

Until next time, let's enjoy life!

[reanimatedguts]

me, wearing a Re-Animator coat and shirt while in line for Record Store Day, to purchase Talking Heads Live at WCOZ 77: i feel like the only person not wearing a band tee or merch of some kind right now…

me: wait—this outfit is actually just a really obscure Talking Heads reference, if u truly think abt it

friend: what? how?

me: Dan has a Talking Heads poster in his room

friend: he WOULD have a Talking Heads poster

[lil--nuggett]

some quality content for the maxie lovers out there

[shesmore-shoebill]

When I say Courtney confidently reaching over and clicking Arasha's handcuff back into place with zero hesitation did. something. to me.... what a powerful move.....

[chortlebot]

you can't say i *didn't* follow the prompt (palette swap)

[bonemeal12]

Why have you been thinking about that.

[todayisafridaynight]

seonhee and sawashiro both being associated with purple's the most evil shit in the world now who the fuck am i supposed to put in my purple card holder

[kaurwreck]

for the ask game: LILAC CHARCOAL AND RASPBERRY

anon this is so sweet 😭

[ask game provided below for reference; if you'd like to play, please reblog from OP here:]

[sunshine-of-my-shoulder]

there's something in the water that's specifically affecting green haired princesses who have purple eyes and also bpd (momochi and hiyori)

[viksalos]

reading up on autism to figure out what the fuck is going on with me and making a list of personal pros and cons to figure out whether i should feel good or bad about it. as one does

pros: hyperlexia, deeply compassionate, talent for mathematics and the sciences/can do calculations of reasonable complexity in my head, visual hypersensitivity/decent artistic ability when replicating from still life/good at distinguishing subtle colors, acute hearing/good at identifying distinct sounds and sonic textures/deeply moved by music, can rotate some shapes in my head really fast i guess

cons: people can tell something is "off" about me in a fraction of a second and will be anywhere from begrudgingly polite to overtly hostile about it, terminal "not like other girls" disease/feeling of disconnect with existing in a feminine body, can pace for hours on end until my legs hurt, frequent crying & shutdowns, talk about myself and my interests extensively and can't seem to find a way to stop or better relate to others outside of mirroring them, productive work that actually *utilizes* my talents seems to only happen in increasingly infrequent bursts of hyperfocus, recurring identity issues stemming from a fundamental feeling of being born wrong and belonging nowhere, visceral hypersensitivity means i'm in pain from the normal functioning of my own organs for most of the day, people have compared me to sheldon cooper and elon musk, i am constantly begging for the sweet release of death,

[rando-cloudless]

wtf is with chai rn

[synthetic-sonata]

one day ill post my pokemon games + spinoffs tierlist that im slowly chipping away at and have been since, like, june or july . but i dont think people are ready

[headspace-hotel]

"Scientists should be working on curing cancer instead of doing [Thing]" just get funnier and funnier to me over time because

there's so many papers and studies about curing cancer that they drown everything else out. God help you if you're trying to research something that has ever been considered applicable to cancer research.

"cancer" is a whole category of diseases that includes hundreds of different things

The way i understand it, "cancer" is a consequence of cells aging and being exposed to stresses over time. The goal is to stop it from developing too early, curing cancer IN GENERAL is a bit like trying to cure entropy

the amount of progress we've made on treating and preventing cancer even in the last few decades is so insane, it's a lot more impressive than "curing" a single disease would be.

different scientists aren't interchangeable. What's a meteorologist going to do for cancer research

If we didn't have the other scientists, we would die a lot more of the other stuff

there WAS that one guy who programmed an AI to categorize different types of cookies and pastries that ended up being great for detecting cancer cells, so YOU NEVER KNOW

[profictionprince]

While I don't think that anyone needs to have like... a Deep Reason™ for liking the content they like, it's especially funny to me when I'm accused of being a predator or whatever in response to that one post because I'm one of those people who like, projects myself in the "victim" role (for lack of a better way to put it) if I'm reading fucked up smut or whatever because I'm one of those people who internalized and sexualized fucked up things that have actually happened to me.

[fastandcarlos]

Boss’ Daughter » Oscar Piastri

summary: despite being the daughter of mclaren ceo zak brown, f1 has never been an interest of yours. however, oscar is sure that he change your mind

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by zbrownceo, landonorris and 27,492 others

ynbrown: thought I’d finally come and see what all the papaya hype is about after all these years 🧡🧡

2,696 comments

mclarenracing: it was nice to finally welcome you to the mtc yn 🧡

username1: how has it taken you this long to go to mclaren 😂

username2: how does it feel to have the world’s coolest dad??

username3: I hope you see why papaya is all the hype now

zbrownceo: see you in budapest at the weekend?? ✈️

ynbrown: @/zbrownceo you might’ve just convinced me…

username4: omg I want that jacket asap 🤯

landonorris: it was lovely to finally meet you after all these years 😀

ynbrown: @/landonorris at least I see why dad says you’re such a funny driver now 😂

username5: not zak singing the praises of his drivers to his daughter

username6: I wanna know what he says about oscar 😭

username7: secretly wishing that I could also be adopted by the brown family now to meet lando norris

oscarpiastri: don’t tell your dad, but you’re so much funnier than him 🤫

ynbrown: @/oscarpiastri secret is safe with me 🤭🤭🤭

username8: I can’t deal with all these interactions ahhh

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by oscarpiastri, mclarenacing and 39,271 others

ynbrown: turns out f1 is actually pretty cool, first race weekend pending…✅

3,182 comments

username9: I can’t believe you’re actually going to a race 🥺

oscarpiastri: that’s a pretty cool hat that you’ve got yourself there…

ynbrown: @/oscarpiastri it’s amazing what you can find in lost property 😂

username10: the boss’ daughter really doesn’t care lmao 😂

username11: how has it taken you this long to fall in love with f1??

mclarenracing: dare we say team papaya has got themselves a new fan? 🧡

username12: she’s not just gone, she’s up close and personal with it all too 😭

landonorris: I hope this isn’t your way of saying you prefer osc to me 🤔

ynbrown: @/landonorris I could never have favourites 👼

username13: petition for mclaren to bring yn to every race forever starting now!!

username14: I love the fact yn actually has taken the time to get to know oscar and lando too ☺️

danielricciardo: I’m sure there’s still a number three hat around in that garage if you want to support a proper driver 😂

ynbrown: @/danielricciardo add one more and you’re talking my kind of driver number 🧡

username15: yn’s so clued up she knows their driver numbers too 🥺

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by landonorris, ynbrown and 138,291 others

mclarenracing: oscar handling the pressure of showing the boss’ daughter round the paddock like a pro 🏎️🧡

38,082 comments

username16: why does it feel like this should be titled oscar flirting with the boss’ daughter instead 🤔

zbrownceo: last time I checked that wasn’t in his schedule for this weekend…

username17: not oscar personally offering to show yn around 🤯

username18: it’s only two photos but they look like they get on well ☺️

landonorris: just like to point out that I did offer to take yn around for a tour too 😂😂

ynbrown: @/landonorris only one of you came through on your promise though 🤨

username19: that’s one way to get yourself a forever contract at mclaren 👏🏻

username20: are we all just gonna ignore the way that yn looks at him 🥺

ynbrown: best tour guide ever 🏆🏎️

username21: how much do I have to pay to get a personal tour from oscar too? 💰

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by danielricciardo, alex_albon and 493,192 others

oscarpiastri: life recently has been pretty zesty 🌅☺️

57,121 comments

username22: whose making you smile that wide mr piastri?

alex_albon: standby ladies and gents as piastri enters his boyfriend era 🎉

username23: has THE oscar piastri finally got himself a girlfriend? 😭😭

charles_leclerc: nice to see you’ve listened to the tips your brother gave you 😂

oscarpiastri: @/charles_leclerc ofc I couldn’t have found a girl without your flirting tips 🙄

username24: not charles taking the credit for setting oscar up 🤦🏻‍♂️

danielricciardo: proud dad moment watching my son grow up 🤧

username25: I just want to know whose the lucky girl that gets to go on a date with oscar piastri 😂

landonorris: so this was your idea of busy when I offered to hang out tonight

oscarpiastri: @/landonorris sorry you’re so far down my list of priorities 🤨

username26: secretly it’s me sat at the other end of that table btw 😂

username27: I had not prepared myself for oscar springing a relationship onto us like that 😭

ynbrown: that’s a pretty stunning beach you’ve found yourself at 🌅

oscarpiastri: @/ynbrown wonder who could’ve recommend it to me…🤔

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by landonorris, zbrownceo and 48,059 others

ynusername: perks of being the future ceo means you can get all the dodgy angles of the drivers 😂🧡

7,497 comments

username28: you cannot tell me that these two people are just friends wtf

zbrownceo: remember the days when you had no interest in f1, now look at you 🧡🏎️

ynbrown: @/zbrownceo I just pretend to like it to be one of the cool kids 😂

username29: thank you yn for exposing oscar like this 😂

username30: the smile of such an unbothered man ☺️☺️

oscarpiastri: I’d get the sack if I showed some of the photos that I have of you ffs

ynbrown: @/oscarpiastri perks of the job 👑

username31: I can’t imagine you can exactly tell the boss’ daughter to go away hahah

landonorris: suddenly I don’t mind being your second favourite mclaren driver if this is how you treat your first 😂

username32: why am I so invested in these two, they have no idea who I am 😂

mclarenracing: yn stop stealing admins job pls 🫶🏻

username33: I refuse to accept that anything other than a relationship is happening here!!

alex_albon: you might be a candidate for worst boss ever yn!

ynbrown: @/alex_albon it’s a title I’ll wear proudly ☺️

username34: oscar follows yn around everywhere, he’s definitely chasing her 😂😂

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by username35, username36 and 2,583 others

f1gossip: several sources have shown oscar piastri getting particularly close to a female in the paddock. whilst our photos do not show a face, several eager eyed fans have been pointing the finger towards ceo zak brown’s daughter yn who seems to have struck up quite the friendship with the aussie…

472 comments

username37: imagine being so hot that you manage to date the boss’ daughter

username38: can we just talk about how awesome zak would be as a father in law too please 😂

username39: oscar, zak and yn is a trio I absolutely need in my life 🙌🏻

username40: ngl oscar doesn’t seem to be able to keep his hands off of yn these days

username41: there is no one in this world who actually believes that isn’t yn btw 😂

username42: clearly whatever charles has been teaching oscar to do has paid off!!

username43: his smile just seems to get bigger and bigger every time they’re photographed together 🥺

username44: I’ve not been this obsessed over two people for such a long time

username45: thank you yn for making our little pookie happy 🫶🏻

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by ynbrown, charles_leclerc and 739,987 others

oscarpiastri: young driver of the year award with perfect company to finish the evening perfectly 🧡🏆

72,808 comments

charles_leclerc: when do I get to meet my future sister in law??

oscarpiastri: @/charles_leclerc I’m keeping you away for as long as I possibly can 😂

username46: look at my two favourite people 🩷🩷🩷🩷

alex_albon: I mean there was no doubt that you were gonna win tonight anyway 😂

username47: oscar piastri you scrub up very well sir 🔥🔥

aussiegrit: well done oscar! doing australia proud 🇦🇺

username48: which is the more impressive trophy, yn or the title??

georgerussell63: congrats my friend - looking forward to battling again next year!

ynbrown: could not be prouder of you, your hard work is admirable 💕💕

oscarpiastri: @/ynbrown thanks for being my hot date for the night 🥰

username49: oscar has fully converted yn into an f1 fan now 😂

landonorris: congrats osc, best team mate ever 🧡🧡

username50: osc 😭😭😭😭😭

username51: mclaren just seems like the most amazing place to work ever

mclarenracing: we are so incredibly proud of you, what an amazing season oscar 🧡🏎️

oscarpiastri: @/mclarenracing couldn’t have done it without my incredible team!

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by georgerussell63, danielricciardo and 1,382,607 others

landonorris: I call this thread the faces of a man who has just had to admit to his boss that he is in fact dating his daughter 😂😂😂

173,068 comments

username52: turns out lando loves to expose oscar as much as yn does too 😂

ynbrown: he’s not even that scary, you wait until he finds out we’re sleeping together 😂

username53: I’d love to have been a fly on the wall for that conversation!!

carlossainz55: posts like these always remind me how much nicer my days are without you constantly annoying me anymore

danielricciardo: about time you started bullying a different aussie anyway 😂

username54: we all know how much zak loves oscar, I bet he was thrilled!

oscarpiastri: thank you for throwing me underneath the bus once again 🙄

username55: can just imagine zak trying his best to be an intimidating dad but he’s too soft for oscar 😂

georgerussell63: you’re the worst team mate ever sometimes hahah

username56: poor baby 😭

username57: as if yn will let her dad give oscar a hard time anyway!

zbrownceo: stop treating me future son in law like this norris 😡

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by ynusername, zbrownceo and 688,381 others

oscarpiastri: turns out dating the boss’ daughter is a pretty cool job after all 🧡🥺

63,960 comments

username58: officially my new favourite post in the world 😭

ynbrown: dating a driver for my dad is a pretty cool thing too btw 💕🥺

oscarpiastri: @/ynbrown adore you!! 🫶🏻

username59: ahhhhh this makes me so happy

maxverstappen1: looking forward to seeing you at mclaren for the rest of your career now 😂

username60: thank you yn for making the decision to go and visit the mtc all those months ago 🙏🏻

pierregasly: mate you must have some serious game to pull the boss’ daughter!!

username61: thank you for not leaving us waiting forever and a day for confirmation 😂

landonorris: well this is just a little bit exciting…���

username62: still bitter that I’m not the ceo’s daughter and dating my favourite driver

carlossainz55: luckily for you your dating the daughter of one of the best bosses in f1 🧡

username63: yn really does have it all now doesn’t she 😝

charles_leclerc: I’m still waiting to be introduced 😂

oscarpiastri: @/charles_leclerc keep on waiting 😘

zbrownceo: I’ve still got my eye on you piastri 😂🧡

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[darnell-la]

how about old!logan with the filthiest mouth one could ever speak, full with nasty and degrading pet names. just rough and mean logan treating the reader 🫠🫠

note: this takes place in the Honda Odyssey… we can make the man filthier by the way…

———

“Well, you guys are fucking stupid, so, it’s not a surprise we’re lost,” y/n crossed her arms in the back seat as Wade drove through the woods, trying to get to the place Nicepool had me roomed for them to form a team.

“You ain’t the smartest sheep either. Batting your fuckin’ eyelids at Jonny,” Logan scoffed next to her before leaning back in his to rest.

After Wade had told him that there might not be a way to save his world, he’s been in a bad mood. Ever since she met him, he’s been in a bad mood.

“Yeah, but sadly he’s not here with us, right Wade?” Y/n sarcastically asked, making Wade sigh loudly. “He should have said those things about her!” Wade shouted.

“This whole trip is fucking ridiculous. Like seriously, Wade. Why the fuck did you bring me along to save this drunk fuck!?” Y/n complained, making Logan chuckle.

“To save your shitty world,” Logan said under his breath. “Hey! That’s my world too!” Wade argued. “Yeah — That’s why I said that shit,”

“Not like yours is better,” y/n mumbled, making Logan snap his head towards her. Y/n continued looking out of the window, not caring how he felt about her words.

“The fuck you say?” The man asked in a clearly angry tone. “Alright, let’s just cool our dicks and think about a place to eat at after we get out of this shit hole, hm?” Wade asked the two, but they both ignored him.

“Nah, I wanna hear what the little bitch has to say,” Logan called the young lady out of her name, making her snap his own neck at him. “Bitch!? No wonder you could never keep a woman. In every universe!” She shot for his heart.

“That’s something you don’t have to worry about because Ian pickin’ a little brat like you,” Logan tried saying something back in an instant like her comment didn’t hurt. He knew calling her out of her name was shitty, but he’s going through it right now.

The man was pulled from his universe being told he had a chance to save it. Not even two hours later, he was told it was an educated wish.

“Not like you can get in my pants anyways limp dick,” y/n spat, making the man chuckle. He was cocky. He always has been, and his age wasn’t going to throw that away.

“You’re an easy little girl. You would even be able to handle me,” the man looked the girl up and down, giving a look that made her roll her eyes. “You fuckin’ wish,” she said before turning back to the window.

“Oh, honey bun, he does! Maybe y’all can fuck it out in here before we make it home. Got a long way to go,” Wade almost sang.

The two went silent, not declining or accepting. They were just angry, and Wade swore having a small fuck-session would help.

Y/n felt eyes on her through the silence. She told herself not to look back, but she had to. She wanted to see the man’s face, and god, was he fine. She hated admitting to it, but he was.

The way he looked at her legs, made her shift in her seat, growing nervous from the older man’s gaze.

“As I said — Little girl can’t handle it,” Logan finally looked up at the girl with a smirk, smelling the way she grew wet in seconds, and she didn’t know he could. She was clueless which made the situation funnier to him.

“I can handle more than you think. Your dick probably wouldn’t be able to stand up anyway, so stop lookin’ at me like that you perv,” y/n tried covering her legs, but there was no use.

“Oh, go fuck yourself,” the man rolled his eyes as he leaned back in his seat. “Do it yourself, coward,” y/n said under her breath. She thought she was quiet enough until his head snapped back at her and Wade gasped.

“Oh, you nasty little peanut,” Wade giggled. “Oh, you want me to fuck you?” Logan asked, giving that stupid smirk again. “What!? I never said that,” y/n lied, trying to think of something to stop this conversation.

“Oh, but you did, bub,” Logan felt like he was shifting closer, but y/n kept her eyes off of him. “Don’t go silent on me now, bub. If you need a little cock to fix that attitude, I can do it,”

The instant confidence he had, made the girl nervous. What the fuck is she going to do?

“Don’t need cock,” the girl spoke quietly. “I think you do,” the man’s hand was now on the grips thighs, gripping it a bit rough to get a reaction.

Y/n turned and swung, going to hit the man somewhere, but he got her fist and pushed it away before hovering over her body.

“You’re feisty for a girl who’s soaking wet,” the man said, confusing y/n. “You can smell her that bad!?” Wade asked, wanting to know if all. “Oh, yeah, and she smells sweet,” Logan admitted as his hands tugged on her belt.

“Let’s see if I’m right,” Logan ripped y/n’s belt off and shorts down her legs, exposing her pretty lace panties. “Logan! Fuckin’ get off!” Y/n fought back, but he knew she could do better.

“You sure? Kinda looks a little messy down here,” the man laughed at her girl as he spews her legs, seeing the dark spot grow. Before she could say another word, he ripped her panties off, making her yell at him more.

“Pretty little cunt. Maybe if you weren’t so bitchy, I’d eat it, but I have different plans for you today,” Logan wiped a finger across her lips before taking them to his mouth to suck.

“Yep — Sweeter than peach, Wade. Didn’t know you had sluts as friends,” Logan laughed again as he fumbled with his own belt. “Logan!” Y/n still shouted, kicking and slapping but he had his single hand pinning her shoulder down.

“Look on the bright side, peanut — You’ll get some dick and maybe that’ll energize you for our fight?” Wade said about anything to hide the fact he loved hearing Logan get the way he gets.

“Fuck you, Wade!” Y/n yelled at the man. “Nah uh, only I do that to you,” y/n almost forgot about Logan until she looked down, seeing his cock out in his head, stoking and leaking pre cum.

“Got me so fuckin’ hard. You know how good you look fighting? How pretty you are yappin’ that damn mouth? Could only think about you under me -- where you belong,”

Logan struggled but made his way in between her legs. “Fuck you! Fuck you, a-and Wade! You’ll last two seconds,” y/n tried laughing at the man to seem tough as usual, but he shut her right up with a hard thrust into her cunt.

“What was that? Two seconds? If I lasted a short time, it’s because this cunts so fuckin’ soaked, not because I’m old, baby,”

Y/n’s hands pushed at the man’s stomach, trying to slow him down and stop him from pushing hitting the right spot with each thrust he gave.

“S-Stop!” The girl whined already, feeling the knot in her stomach build and her breathing get spotty. He was huge and hard. Harder than she thought a man his age could be.

“Don’t think you want that, baby. No, you want me to fuck this pretty little girl till she cried and leaks on the seat,” Logan whispered in her ear as his own breath became heavy.

“God, you guys are hot. Love the play date you guys are having! Maybe give me a review after the Uber ride. Tell me if the seats felt comfy and if y’all had enough room to fuck like rabbits with rabies,” Wade seemed excited.

“Hear that, babe? Gonna tell Wade how good I fuck this pussy? C’mon, tell him. Tell him how hard your squeeze my cock,”

Y/n hated his cock voice in her ear but loved it at the same time. He knew exactly how she’d like it. Maybe by her attitude, he knew she needed someone with the same energy to pound her.

“No c-chance,” the girl stuttered through her teeth as she tried glaring at the man, but her head instantly fell back after he gave one small pound, telling her to get rid of the attitude.

“You’re gonna do it eventually. Sluts like you can’t forget a good cock,” and he was right. This was going to be the best sed she’s had ever.

“Gonna go beggin’ Wade to come get me to fuck you. Shit, since I have to stay in the bullshit you call your world, I’ll just come over to your place myself. Burry my cock in this cunt till you pass out,”

“L-Logan,” y/n dug her nails into the man’s shoulders, trying to hold tight as her orgasm felt near. “Oh, you like that? Like the thought of a dirty old man fuckin’ this so-called clean pussy, hm? Gonna let me breed this little princess whenever I want? Even if I piss you off?”

“N-No, you fucking suck at this!” Y/n breathed heavily, keeping her orgasm together so she wouldn’t give him what she wanted.

“God, she’s fuckin’ petty,” Wade said as Logan let out a little chuckle. The man shifted in the van, lifting her legs over his shoulders before punching his right claw into the roof of the van.

Y/n jumped, not used to having a mutant like him around. “Don’t worry, princess. I wouldn’t hurt a pretty girl like you. Too valuable and tight,” Logan grabbed between the back of y/n’s head and neck to lift her to, fixing her to lean into him.

“Before I fuck you ass dumb, do you want to take anything you said back?” Logan looked down at the girl whose legs rested on his shoulder and cock grazed her entrance, waiting to be squeezed again.

“You fuck like a dead pig,” y/n spat. Right after, the man took one good slam into her, watching her legs part and scream. Logan pulled her head back up, making her look into his dark eyes.

“Loudmouth for a loud screamer,” the man smirked before moving his hips, thrusting into the girl with all the strength he had. He pulled her back to life whenever she tried pushing away or leaning her head back.

“Good fuckin’ pussy — Fuck! — Maybe I’ll excuse that bitch tone of yours,” the man couldn’t deny his could she felt and sounded.

Before, y/n thought she could hold herself in, but she knew Logan would get what he wanted in this new angle and harder pounding. He knew this from the start.

“C’mon, bub — I know you wanna cum. Keep squeezing around me like I wouldn’t notice,” he laughed at her. Teasing he. “N-Not cumming,” y/n assured the man, but even Wade didn’t believe her.

“I can see how the man has you in a full-on butter-salted pretzel position. You’re cumming, peanut,” Wade said, only egging Logan on knowing anyone who looked at her right now could tell she was close.

“No, I’m not!” Y/n pathetically whined. Logan leaned down to the girl's face, slightly touching her lips as his hot breath burned her nostrils.

“Don’t cum then, bub,” Logan said as he picked up his pace. “Don’t cum, and you win. You win your little bitch fight, and we can move on with our day,” Logan kept increasing.

“Don’t cum, and you’re right about my limp old dick,” Logan now growled. “Don’t cum, and I won’t come into your little home and eat that pussy,” y/n eyes rolled back as his hands dug into the back of her neck.

“Don’t cum, and I won’t fuck you like this every day to satisfy your needs, baby. Don’t cum, and I’ll have to leave this pretty little body alone forever,”

“Can’t breed it. Can’t kiss it. Can’t pound it. Can’t do anything I want to it,” y/n whined loudly at the man’s words, finally releasing the man’s cock.

“That’s what I fuckin’ thought. You need me. You fuckin’ want this old dick,” Logan’s lips crashed into her, kissing her roughly as she cried at the pace he kept ducking her in.

“Goddam, she cums a lot!” Wade said with excitement, loving the animal coming out of Logan. He knew y/n needed something like this in his life. That totally isn’t the reason why he brought her along.

“So fuckin’ good, baby. Best fuckin’ cunt I’ve fucked. So damn tight and sweet. Need you after all this. Needa have you with me forever,”

Y/n didn’t plan for this to happen. She doesn’t plan to let Logan fuck her like this in the back of Nicepools Honda Odyssey. She didn’t plan for Logan to form an attachment issue with her.

“Gonna cum, baby. Gonna fill this girl up. Gonna keep you with me forever. Can’t leave. Don’t care how old I am, you belong with me. You’re made for me. Pussy’s molded to only take my cock,”

Logan’s hips bucked a few times before he pushed all the way into the young girl, spilling into her with a loud animalistic groan.

The top of the roof was ripped with how many times his claws punched in and out of it. Logan’s fingers bruised the back of y/n’s neck. Her lips even have a small scratch from the hard he kissed. She tastes so fucking good.